#and Kyle admits defeat. looking away 'Okay..'

[treasure444]

A Deadly Secret John Price x Vampire Female Reader WC: ~1.5K Summary: You always tried to be good. Normal. But that falls apart the moment John Price finds out what you are. Content Warnings: Talk about blood, Smut, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, John Price (He's absolutely a warning)

It had been a secret for a long time. No one fully understood the depth. You had kept up a great plan. Always hiding away on missions, feeding on the bodies of half alive soldiers. Enemies. Never your own. Until one mission, Price saw you get shot. Saw the bullet pierce your flesh. All but running to you, while returning fire. He had to stop the bleeding.

Cursing, he sat beside you, ready to press his hands against the wound, only to find no wound. “I’m okay.” You smiled softly, and got up like it was nothing, running to the evac point.You weren’t hurt, and not once did you falter. He was baffled. 

It was a few hours after the evac before you had all actually made it to the base again, and you still hadn’t had any signs of someone who got shot. Price couldn’t understand it. Once everyone was settled in the mess hall that night, Price opted to find out. 

He practically cornered you after dinner in the lounge room, and asked very softly if he could speak to you, so as no one else could hear him, and lead you to his office. 

You knew exactly what his line of questioning would be, it was what kept you hopping around team to team. Never staying in one place for too long. 

But damn it. You didn’t want to keep hoping from team to team anymore! You liked this one. The 141 had become a home, though no one truly knew you, knew the secrets. They treated you like you mattered to them. Each one becoming a friend in their own right. 

Johnny was friends with everyone, loud and boisterous, you could be a bit more reserved with him. Kyle had this quiet charm about him, someone you felt like you had known for years before you actually did. Simon was a bit harder to crack, but once you did the bad jokes flowed, and Simon had always been someone to listen to you before asking if you needed solutions, or just to vent. Price was probably the friend you had treasured most. Though, you’d never admit it out loud. He was the protective figure you weren’t aware you needed. Always checking in, and making sure everything was going okay. 

Once in the confines of his office, with the door shut tightly, the dreaded conversation started. “I need to understand.” He walked around his desk. You had stationed yourself near the small sofa in the corner of the room, but not sitting. Sitting meant this would be a long conversation, and you didn’t have the stomach for it.

”No, you don’t… you want to. There is a difference, Captain.” You spoke, eyes never leaving the cracked leather. 

“Then, help me understand.” 

“It’s not that easy.” You began picking at your dry cuticles, calloused skin flaking off.

“It could be.” You felt his eyes, and somehow that made you finicky. It made you want to crawl out of your own skin. Something you very rarely ever felt. 

“Can we just let it go? It’s nothing. I didn’t get hurt, didn’t get shot. I’m fine.” You finally had mustered the courage to look up at your superior, only to find him leaning back further in his chair. Thighs spread wide. Arms crossed in front of him, and you cursed yourself for finding him so attractive in that moment.

“No, Sergeant. We can’t let it go. I watched the bullet pierce your flesh. I saw it.” His eyes narrowed, as if he was trying to figure it out before you could tell him. 

You really didn’t see any way out of this. But you had to try, one final time. “Please.” You whispered. 

John looked at you, not saying anything else, but the resolve in his eyes. You knew he wasn’t going to let up, wasn’t going to let you leave his office, until you told him. You sighed in defeat, before once again turning your attention to the cracked sofa. “I’m not like you. I’m not,” you struggled for the words, “human…” 

You didn’t have to see John to know the look of confusion his face most likely expressed. But you powered through, “I’m a vampire. And I know.. ‘They’re not real’. I assure you they are. Assure you that I am one. I,” You took a steadying breath, before fully turning to face him, “I only feed on the enemy. I only feed on the half dead soldiers, that you and the boys leave alive.” 

John still didn’t say anything, leaning forward, and grabbing a sharp hunting knife out of his desk. You held your breath, and softly, “what are you doing?” 

Finally, he spoke up, “here I thought fresh blood was better.” He believed you, though you had no reason to lie to him, you found yourself relieved. It was, however, short lived. 

“Well, it is. That’s why I have to feed more frequently. The blood congeals in the bloodstream if it’s left for too long. Which forces me to have to feed pretty quickly after you make the kill. But I don’t mind!” You, once again found yourself picking at your skin, “Am I going to have to find a new task force…?” Your voice thinned out. 

You felt your stomach drop as John admired his knife, before putting it straight up to his hand. “Not if you don’t want to”, came his reply before he applied just the slightest amount of pressure, and opened a wound on his hand. Your mouth ran dry. 

John held his hand out to you. You shook your head despite everything in your body screaming at you to go over there. Fangs push their way out of your gums, causing your mouth to slightly shift. “Let me see you. The real you.” 

“This is reckless.” This time when your mouth settled, he saw the edge of the fangs poking out. 

“You won’t hurt me.” He was so resolute in his statement. He didn’t think you would hurt him, he truly believed it. 

“I could.” Your hand slid through your hair. Though you would try your best to not hurt the captain, you couldn’t make any promises. “Will you please stop the bleeding?” 

“Your self control should be admired… but I want you to come over here and stop it yourself.” He was bleeding on the carpet. You could hear the little droplets hitting the floor, the sound of air whooshing through your ears, his heartbeat. 

“Please.” You slowly took a step towards him.

“That’s it.” You could see the smirk on his face, but all you were focused on was his hand. You continued to advance towards him, saliva pooling in your mouth at how you thought he’d taste. “Just one little bite, dove.” 

That had been your nickname, you thought it cruel at the time it was given to you. “No.” You uttered firmly. Taking his hand in yours, you licked a stripe up where the blood had pooled to, due to gravity, all the way to the incision point. 

John watched in awe as your saliva had healed the wound almost instantly. You stood to your full height, headed for the door, before he grabbed you. 

He pulled you into his lap. Though you didn’t resist very much. It was a trance, it had to have been. Caused by the taste of him. You settled yourself on your knees, straddling the captain. “Take your fill.” His voice washed over you, as his hands settled at your waist. 

You just couldn’t help yourself as you sank your teeth into his neck. John let out the most guttural moan you think possible, as his blood, his life line, flowed into your mouth. You didn’t want to take too much… but you needed this. Needed a warm body, as a chill took over yours. He was so willing. He trusted you. 

Whimpering, you leaned closer, hands grasping at any part of Price that you could. “That’s it sweetheart..” You could feel his breathing stutter under your hands. ”Shit..” His hands pull you further into him. 

“Fuck, that’s it..” You could feel him lean further back, taking you with him. “Good girl…” 

You let out a soft moan, you had never been one to get into the feeding. Most of the men you fed on were half dead, but not John. His hands were caressing every square inch of your waist, hips lifting off the chair up into your body. Grinding so softly you wondered if he even realized he was doing it. That’s when it hit you. John Price was getting off on you feeding on him. 

“Fuck, dove. Please.” He whined. Deciding to toy with him, if only slightly. You stopped feeding, but left your mouth latched onto his neck, tongue gently licking over the puncture wounds, as he ground against you firmly. 

A slight noise of surprise escaped before you started feeding once more. The moans, and soft grunts leaving Price’s lips got louder and louder. Until you felt his entire body tense under you, and then shudder, one final pornographic moan and he relaxed against the chair and you disconnected entirely. 

John’s hand caught your wrist before you could fully slide off him. “You’re not going anywhere. Once I get my strength back… I’m repaying the favor.” 

[bloogers-boogers]

College AU hc:

Cartman is asexual and sex repulsed. He has a huge crush on Kyle that's pretty obvious to everyone around him. Kyle assumes that Cartman is just lusting after him and wants sex from him, but it's far from the truth. Ah yes, Cartman's homoerotic fantasy: holding hands, cuddling and hugs, how kinky lol.

I can see that, with how much it’s implied that Cartman’s has been sexually abused in the show he’ll probably prefer to stay away from anything related to intercourse. And of course eventually Kyle has to learn to be understanding of Cartman’s preferences. Tho I feel there’s gonna be alot of complications in their relationship because of this same issue but they’ll manage to overcome it after a brief time.

However I also see Kyle just cuddling Cartman after a huge fight they had because of this.

I see Cartman still not telling Kyle of being asexual just admitting his sex repulse but is never taken seriously because he tends to joke about it instead.

They were in middle of a makeout session while in bed and Kyle got turned on and just flipped Cartman over outta pure lust; he wasn’t being harsh but it was obvious what was on his mind as he plant small kisses on Cartman’s ears while grabbing his waist, in Kyles mind he was being sweet and romantic but ofcourse Cartman did not react well to it and kicked Kyle off shouting profanities at him as the shouting escalated.

“¡I get you want my hot body so damn much but that doesn’t give you the right to manhandle me!”

“¡I’m sorry, Cartman! I- I dont know what happened in me but I would have never gone further from that!”

“U huh, but you couldn’t just NOT flipped me over?? How the fuck am I suppose to trust you if you do shit like that!???”

“¡Fuck you, Eric! If you really see me capable of doing the shit those pigs did to you as a kid!”

*complete silence*

“You think…”

“What else do you expect me to believe? After you keep reacting like I’m about to rape you!”

“Kyle…” Cartman bites his down lip, he sighed defeated calming himself down as he rubs his face, “Kyle i don’t- I know you would never.. I- look, im sorry okay? I just.. don’t feel like going to that length.”

“Why not!? You keep dogging it and not explaining me why! Am I not good enough? Cause by this point I believe you find me disgusting.”

Cartman stares at Kyle in awe before walking towards him and holding on to his flushed cheeks, “Kyle I think you’re the most beautiful man out there..”

Cartman can hear Kyle gulp as he stares at him deeply into his eyes; listening to him attentively.

“I just don’t want to have sex, I find it disgusting.” He moves away, now arms crossed facing away from Kyle. “The act of two individuals taking off their clothes, rubbing against each other for fricción and some humping to gain pleasure .. I find it not only a humiliating display but a desperate act of attention.

When the most pleasurable thing you could receive is some warm hugs, kisses and hand holding. Isn’t that enough to please someone at whole? It’s enough for me.” He turns to look at Kyle; who now looks very confused. Cartman groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes, “Kyle I’m asexual you dumbass!”

“YOU’RE WHAT”

[yelena-bellova]

UNLUCKY: A STRANGER THINGS STORY (OC) - CHAPTER TWELVE

Chapter Twelve: Friday the 13th

Series Masterlist l OC Profile

Plot: Christine struggles when she finds out the negativity surrounding the number ‘13.’

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: light language

A/N: Last chapter before s2!! Next week we drop the eventual from the title! Enjoy the calm before the storm…

UPDATE: Two years later, I’ve converted this to an OC story. All chapters are being rewritten ☺️

————————

October 13th, 1984

El and I had learned our way around the kitchen quite well after months of attempts. Microwaving was our specialty, but I could make a basic meal. She liked to help, mostly seasoning the food or removing it from the pan/pot.

So, on Hopper’s birthday, we tried our best to fry up an omelette and some sausage. The eggs ended up brown and the sausage was lightly charred, but it was actually one of our better tries.

El stuck a candle in one of the sausages and I grabbed Hopper’s lighter. We tiptoed our way to his makeshift bedroom, which was actually just the other half of the living room. He was still snoring away.

“Okay, ready?” I whispered, El nodded. We’d been practicing all week.

“Happy Birthday to you,” we sang as I lit the candle. Hopper awoke with a snort, “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Hopper. Happy Birthday to you.”

Hopper wiped his face and blinked a couple times, smiling once his eyes focused. “Wow, look at this.”

I set the tray down in his lap. “It’s not perfect,” I disclosed, “But…“

“Nah, it looks great.”

“Make…a wish?” El said, trying to remember what I’d taught her.

Hopper smiled and blew out the melting candle.

“What was the wish?” El asked.

“Ah, that’s the thing about birthday wishes, kid,” Hopper ruffled El’s curls, “Gotta keep ‘em a secret or else they won’t come true.”

I could tell El was filing the information away. She was learning so much so fast.

“Oh, I forgot to show you,” I jogged over to the dining room table and grabbed a paper, “Someone has been working on their handwriting.”

Hopper took it from me and smiled, it was a birthday card. El and I had been working hard on penmanship and spelling and she’d been doing great.

“Happy Birthday,” my sister said, patting Hopper on the arm before leaving to get her own breakfast.

“She’s doin’ really well,” Hopper commented, his eyes following her.

“She is,” I sat on the edge of the bed. “I was thinking…is it maybe time that we…bring her out?”

Hopper sighed loudly, “No.”

“Hopper, she-“

“No,” he flipped the covers over and got out of bed, “I’ve told you-“

“I know it’s a risk,” I kept my voice low, “But so is letting me out of the house.”

“Except nobody was trying to track you down last year,” he argued, “I told you, I’m laying the groundwork.”

I rolled my eyes, “laying the groundwork” was all he’d said on the subject the last few months. El was getting restless, I could feel her unhappiness. I wanted to head off any bad reactions.

I shrugged and let my hands hit the bed, “Fine,” I admitted defeat and got up, “Do you want me to pick up dinner on the way home?”

“No, I got it. And hey,” Hopper stopped me, putting a hand on my shoulder, “It’s not forever.”

He meant well, I knew that. But he could never understand what it was like to feel captive. El and I had never known anything different. And now, with freedom dangled in front of her, it was only a matter of time before she pushed harder for it.

With a quick hug, Hopper left to go shower. I peeked around the corner to see El, sitting down to a plate of Eggos and maple syrup.

Everything was perfectly normal, so why didn’t it feel like it?

————————————

Homeroom was overwhelming no matter how long I’d been at school. Twenty conversations happening all at once and yet there was no rhythm to any of them.

I typically kept my head down, like I was now, trying to read The Great Gatsby. I’d already written the book report for it, but loved it too much to not have another go at it.

“Dude, it was so freaky,” a guy, Kyle, said behind me.

“Friday the 13th, man,” his friend replied, “Weird shit happens.”

I tuned into the conversation, it was the third time I’d heard someone talk about how strange the day was. Nothing horrible has happened overnight. It didn’t make sense.

Shannon, a girl in my grade and one of the only people outside of Steve, Nancy and Jonathan who was actually nice to me, walked in and took her seat next to me.

“Hi, Christine,” she greeted me with a grin.

“Hi,” I replied, setting down my book, “Shannon, why is everybody talking about how weird today is?”

“What do you mean?”

“Either strange stuff is happening to them or they’re focused on what the moon’s going to look like or having scary movie marathons…”

She shrugged, “Well, it’s Friday the 13th. It’s supposed to be an awful day cause, y’know, thirteen. But to be honest,” she leaned in, “I think they look for it. I don’t really believe anything different happens just cause it’s an unlucky number.”

My mouth awkwardly hung open as I listened. I had never known there was a bad connotation to the number.

“Neither do I,” I tried to laugh, “Thanks.”

The announcements started over the loudspeaker and the class promptly shifted gears. I couldn’t hear anything that was being said. Nobody could have known how I was feeling, but I’d just been branded even more of a freak than before.

—————————

The rest of the day was full of colorful conversations. All around me, people excused all of their strange encounters because of the calendar date. My old name now had all sorts of new negativity weaved into it. By the end of the day, I was emotionally exhausted.

I was sat up against the bike rack, everything around me seemed to be moving in slow motion. My bike had gotten a flat tire and I was waiting for Hopper to pick me up.

“Hey.”

I glanced up to find Steve standing over me. Too deep in my own thoughts, I hadn’t even heard him approach.

“Hey,” I sighed.

“Where you been? We looked for you at lunch.”

“Oh, yeah,” I tried to perk up my voice a little, “I was, uh, I was busy.”

Steve looked as skeptical as he should have, “Busy?”

It was a lame excuse for someone with three friends. “I learned what today was.”

“Today?” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, “What’s today?”

I rubbed at my forehead, waiting for him to figure it out. Steve wasn’t stupid, he just took a lot of things at surface value.

“Oh,” he finally realized, “I guess you wouldn’t have known.”

“Nope,” I said, popping my lips.

Steve sunk down next to me, “I mean, you know that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with you. It’s not like the day sucks ‘cause of you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I replied, picking at the top of my shoe, “It doesn’t matter how many times you guys call me Christine. That’s not my name. I’m always going to be somebody else. And to find out that everybody hates it, th-that I’m some bringer of bad luck just…” I sighed, “It’s just salt in a wound.

There was a long stretch of silence. Steve couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to feel like a curse.

“I’m just trying so hard,” I said softly, “To keep up with everybody. To be normal. I’m always gonna be one step behind.”

“Don’t say that,” Steve encouraged, nudging me with his elbow, “You’re doing great.”

I attempted to smile, “Yeah, but this,” I rolled up my sweater sleeve, discreetly displaying my tattooed number, “I’m always going to be this.”

Steve stared soberly at the three numbers. “I know it doesn’t fix anything,” he looked up at me, “But you’re not out of place with me or Nance.”

“It means everything,” I said, placing a hand on his arm. Having the full acceptance of them and Jonathan meant the world to me. But Steve was right, their friendship couldn’t save me from how I felt.

The familiar grumbling of Hopper’s truck rolled into the parking lot.

Steve and I sighed in harmony, “That’s me.”

“Hey, Nance and I are renting a movie tonight,” he offered, “My place, 7.“

“Thanks, but it’s Hopper’s birthday,” I said, “I think we’re having dinner or something.”

“Got it,” Steve patted my arm and gave a small smile, “Lunch? Monday?”

“With a promise to be in a better mood,” I teased as I walked backwards towards the truck.

Steve laughed and headed off in his own direction.

I hopped in the truck, the smell of fast food filling it. “Tacos?”

“It’s my birthday,” Hopper answered, “We can eat a little junk.”

“Yes,” I chuckled, “Cause we’re the pinnacles of health every other day of the year.”

“Hush,” Hopper turned onto the main road, “If I want to enjoy a fatty, greasy meal with my girls, I can.”

I looked out the window, smiling to myself. I was somebody’s girl. Life wasn’t all bad.

When we got home, El was waiting at the dining room table. Hopper and I unpacked the bags that were leaking grease out the bottom, and introduced El to one of the greatest culinary delights.

“A tac…”

“Taco,” Hopper finished, unwrapping the meal in front of her.

“It’s like a sandwich,” I explained, grabbing the bottle of hot sauce from Hopper, “Except it’s open. And a little spicy.”

El looked skeptical, examining the corn shell’s contents. There’d been very few foods she’d tried that she hadn’t liked.

“If you don’t like it, you can have cereal,” Hopper promised.

As we took our seats, El picked up the taco and sniffed it. Her face softened as she decided it was pleasant. She took a messy bite, nodding thoroughly afterwards and smiling when Hopper and I let out a cheer.

The night went on as well as any other. The three of us ate, watched tv, played a board game, and eventually went off to bed. But the minute my head hit the pillow, I knew sleep wasn’t in the cards. I was too unsettled.

I got out of bed after an hour of tossing and turning and tiptoed out the front door. Hopper was a heavy sleeper so I could sneak out easily. I settled into one of our rocking chairs on the porch. The moon shone down through the forest, giving it a deep blue glow.

The fresh air helped me as I tried to figure out what felt so wrong. There was nothing new in our world, no new threats. But that didn’t help the pit building in my stomach or the tension I was beginning to feel each day. It felt like when Hopper had taught me how to boil water. Things went from perfectly normal, to a simmer, to a few bubbles coming to the surface, and then an all out frenzy. Things could go from bad to worse in a matter of minutes.

That’s what life felt like; like everything was about to come to a boil.

————————

Unlucky Taglist: @lanadelray1989

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Bloody Valentines

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Young Justice 98, Titans, GL Corps, Legion of Super Heroes, Flashfam, New Gods

Summary: 90s vampire slasher AU

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Dick Grayson, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Charley Parker, Zatanna, Eddie Bloomberg, Daniel Cassidy, Chester Williams DC, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, Lilith Clay, Raven Roth, Kole Weathers, Bette Kane, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, Jenni Ognats, Bart Allen, Virgil Hawkins, Richie Foley, Ayla Ranzz, Zoe Saugin, Rol Purtha, Darla Aquista, Lori Zechlin, Hal Jordan, Helen Jordan II, Orion DC, Lightray DC

Relationships: DickJoey, Daniel Cassidy/Zatanna, Jenni Ognats/Virgil Hawkins, Raven/Lilith Clay

Additional Tags: POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator(s), Vampires, No Capes AU, 90s Slasher AU, Homoeroticism, Horror, Slasher

Chapter Four: The Figure in the Dark (Guy's POV)

Kyle was a sweet guy, but he could be an airhead sometimes. We had to stop twice because Kyle forgot his first aid kit, road trip lunch, and palette. So, we went to a store outside town where he spent half an hour flirting with the counter girl. I had to practically drag him away. It bugged me sometimes, but I wouldn't want to vacation with anyone else. He'd been through a lot in the past year, and I wanted to give him a nice weekend away from the hustle and bustle of the city. That, and I thought he'd want to see the lighthouse there. He liked stuff like that. We got to our cabin at sundown, and Kyle insisted on investigating a light he saw in the distance when we passed the beach. I grabbed a flashlight, and he grabbed a pack of franks on the way out the door. "Why are you taking our weenies to approach the ominous light on the beach?" I whispered.

"Don't call them weenies, Guy," Kyle mumbled as he shook his head in disgust. "And... I think I see a mini skirt in the distance-."

"Is that all you think about?" I interrupted. "You ever heard of Fatal Attraction, Kid?"

Kyle chuckled and ran ahead of me. I followed close behind and flashed a light on a few people standing around a bonfire on the beach. "Sorry, can't hear you over the babes, the beers, and the bonfire. Oh my! Does anybody like hotdogs?" Kyle questioned.

A guy came around with roasting sticks, and I admitted defeat. I roasted weenies and cracked open a beer. I glanced up at the stars from a beach chair. Kyle plopped down next to me, his skin touching mine. Cold. He'd been cold since I met him. "You okay?" I asked. Kyle shivered and nodded.

I grabbed a blanket off the back of the chair and draped it over him, and he insisted on sharing the blanket with me. "It's okay. This is a gay beach," Kyle whispered.

"A what? Kyle, that's not a thing," I replied, "Besides, we aren't a couple."

"Yeah, but if it's a gay beach, it doesn't matter if it looks gay. I'm cold, and you're warm, and I wanna share this blanket with you," Kyle explained.

"Kyle, you do things that seem gay all the time. I thought you were gay for the longest," I confessed.

"Name one gay thing I've done," Kyle commanded. He wasn't going to let it go. Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut.

"You once described one of your male friends as divine art in motion while admitting that you'd date him if you were a woman," I answered. Kyle opened his mouth to protest, but he knew I was right. "Most of your friendships seem homoerotic, but I don't mind. You care about people, and you shouldn't change that for anybody. And it's the nineties. Being in touch with your emotions is cool now."

"I forgot you never lie about anything," Kyle replied as he took my beer. He took a sip and glanced upward. "You know the constellations. Right? You used to teach them to the kids."

"Tonight, we have Delphinus. Delphinus is the dolphin Poseidon sent to fetch Amphitrite in the myth," I described. Kyle poked his lip out and nodded.

"And you just know that? Like, you can look and tell?" Kyle asked. I nodded. "That's so cool."

"Thanks," I replied, "It's never gotten me laid." Kyle's eyes widened, and he looked at me for a response. "I'm serious."

He laughed and bit his lip. "That implies you've tried it on someone before," Kyle chuckled.

"I have," I replied.

"Listen, if it makes you feel better, I'll fool around with you for sharing your astronomy knowledge," Kyle teased. I spit out my beer. "Top of the clothes action only... Unless you take me somewhere nice first."

"I did take you somewhere nice. There's a lighthouse out this way and everything," I replied. Kyle laid his head on my shoulder.

We sat on the beach for an hour before returning to our cabin in the dark. I let Kyle use the shower first while I made something to eat. Real food. Not hotdogs. Kyle came out in time to eat with me and offered to wash the dishes for me after. I nodded and took my shower before heading off to bed.

Then, the strangest thing happened. It started to rain. No. Not rain. It stormed. Thunder, lightning, hail. The whole shebang. Kyle knocked on my room door, and I let him in. "I'm not scared," Kyle whispered. Then thunder boomed so loud it shook the cabin, and he damn near jumped into my arms.

"Scared of a little thunderstorm?" I teased.

"No! I'm not scared... I wanted to check on you," Kyle lied, "And since you're obviously terrified, I insist on sleeping in here tonight to protect you from this completely harmless storm."

Kyle jumped into my bed, and I smiled, shaking my head as I joined him. Lightning flashed, and he hid under the covers. "Sitting on a mattress is one of the safest things to do during a thunderstorm," I whispered before turning on my side.

Lightning flashed, thunder rumbled, and I swore I saw something standing outside in the rain. I flipped over lightning fast and knocked foreheads with Kyle. "Jesus!" Kyle cried out as he clutched his forehead.

"Did you-. Did you see that?" I asked.

"You conking me with your big ass head? No! No, I didn't see that," Kyle snapped as he rubbed circles in the center of his forehead.

"Sorry... But did you see the guy outside? Or maybe it was a chick... I dunno," I whispered as I made eye contact with him. I was scared to look at anything else.

Kyle sat up, and lightning flashed again. He ducked down and grabbed my hand. "Well? Did you see them?" I asked.

"I don't remember," Kyle whispered. We didn't say anything after that. I think we were both scared shitless. Kyle fell asleep after that, but I couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to cut and run. Kyle tossed and turned, whimpering and moaning as if something hurt.

"Kyle... Kyle, wake up," I whispered.

He opened his eyes, and when he saw me, he shoved his face into the pillow and started sobbing. "I know I'm no Mr. Universe, but-. Jeez, Kid..." I sat up and rubbed his back. I knew he had a lot of traumatic stuff happen to him over the years, but I had no idea he was so messed up.

Kyle cried until he fell asleep, and it was forgotten. I would've fixed everything broken in him if I could've. Kyle was a good person. He might've been a flirt and an airhead, but he was compassionate, forgiving, and one of my best buds. He slept like a baby after that, and the rain eventually stopped.

[noodlepai]

Okay soo I can't exactly help myself bcuz I wanna info dump so badly abt my AU again because I just am so fixated on it and I love coming up with ideas for it sjdjJSJ please excuse me, long post with long tags because I am opening the floodgates rn

I just can't stop thinking abt it and putting more story and details into it y'know y'know? It's my guilty pleasure

(I kinda changed some things in it *cough* and am still changing stuff)

---

Kyle wasn't really scared but was moreso interested in eteled when first meeting him, and of course being the little kid he is, he kinda messed with the guy a whole lot, when eteled doesn't like most kids all too much, (except for his bro and cousins, and later on Sam) and would ask Kyle to leave him alone, eventually after enough of being swung around in the air, being poked and all around harassed for an unspecified amount of time, eteled blew up at the guy to just leave him alone for good, he does have the axe in this scenario but it's for defense against being picked up again with that stupid ass Wii remote (although he isn't sure if it would work) and also to kinda get the point across to Kyle, so he's basically swinging his arms around a lot as he's yelling, and to sum it up quickly, pretty much what happens is that Kyle's Mii comes up behind eteled on accident, following it's programmed walk cycle and that just scares the shit out of him, causing him to swing his axe to fight back, and you can kinda guess how that goes

^ To add, the thing with eteled being deleted, and then banning Kyle temporarily from the Mii Channel did happen before all this, and Nathan was present during eteled's last straw being ripped from him, but he had less involvement in what pissed the guy off, and basically was invited over by Kyle, nonetheless he still witnessed the accident

eteled feels horrible for his actions, even though what had happened was entirely an accident, he's angry with himself, so he doesn't blame the kid one bit when Kyle decides that he has had enough mental damage and just throws the Wii in the closet, and yes Austin definitely knows about what happened, and he knows Kyle, so you can deduce from that how pissed Austin is, not only because of the fact that a poor kid has probably been traumatized, but it was his damn nephew

Kyle, some years later, does go back to check on eteled, because he's curious even though he doesn't wanna be, and is terrified, but he doesn't put anything on his computer because he is not about to have some scary ass Mii haunt his computer when he can just keep him in the Wii and throw it back in the closet or even in the trash if needed, so he reluctantly sets the Wii back up, not even sure if it works or survived the throw from all those years ago, almost hoping it didn't, but it does work and it turns on, and after some thinking and searching for the Mii, Kyle finds eteled, and they talk, they explain some things like their sides of the story without coming off as uncaring, and etc, and eteled allows Kyle to delete him to show him what happens to him and other Miis and you get the idea (eteled has pretty good control over the camera and other system stuff so it's not hard for him to just take it in there with him)

^Kyle notices that eteled looks a tad different than what he remembers, he certainly doesn't remember the guy looking kinda roughened up and having some marks on his face, which unbeknownst to Kyle, is a hint that there's another sentient being in this Wii but he doesn't catch onto it at this time

It's after the original events that happened with eteled and Kyle's Mii, that eteled starts learning more and more things about his digital body and the things he can effect inside the Wii, like he never realized how disturbing some of his facial expressions could be, especially when upset, so he figured that's why people have reacted the way they did when seeing him make certain faces, and he eventually learns to use this to his advantage, which he tries on Austin sometimes to get him to go away, and later coming into play when he feels the Wii turn back on after some time, and sees some random girl instead of the usual face he expected to see again

Sam, finally getting her hands on the console she wanted, is excited to get on the Wii, she discovers eteled, and is understandably confused at first, eteled wants nothing to do with her and any other kids, period, but he might as well try to scare her away if he has to, so it kinda turns into a scenario where he plays completely normal at first like just some random left over Mii, but then starts to mimick her movements and looks where she moves, to try to freak her out but she just thinks it's cool, Sam is into horror and all sorts of ghost type material, and the possibility of AI life, so it's more fascinating than anything, and when eteled finally drops the smile in a mix of frustration and being unamused, he just plainly goes "Boo" as a last resort, and Sam watches with her eyes lighting up like "Whoa, oh damn you guys talk?", with eteled staring and thinking to himself 'wth is wrong with this kid', he continues to try and push her away, even trying to freak her out with glitches or spooky faces but none of it works, Sam like "Omg that's so cool that you can do all that, you're a funny little guy" and wants to learn more about him and claim him as her new friend officially

^And as time goes on he softens up to her because she's very nice and caring, and he begins viewing her as someone he needs to protect as well, almost like a dad, while simultaneously seeing her as a friend, and even a mother figure in some ways

The situation with Will was a lot more tame cause nobody got hurt, except for eteled being deleted again *cough*, that and if you wanna also count the mental spook Will got when trying to fuck with Sam's Wii, no there was no axe, eteled pretty much crawled back out of The Hallway in pain, and scared the crap out of Will with his spoopy Mii faces, and that was enough for the kid to be like "Oh hell no" and then leave back out the window he came through (mf came through the window I still can't take that seriously in the canon story jsdjJSJ)

^Will got hit with the emo white man jumpscare

Oh, and the main reason Henry died was because of Austin, aka the guy was super pissed off and made sure that he would get his revenge by taking the guy down with him, hopefully causing him to be stuck in the same situation Austin is in by being a spirit confined to a digital body, that way he can continue to make him pay, even if he couldn't guarantee it, still worth getting back at Henry

^Haven't figured out yet how he would do this and if I should change how Henry exactly died but yeah that's pretty much what happened, also yes Todd was at the very least present during the aftermath of Austin's murder, but being the boss and with the amount of pressure Henry was under, it was kept a secret, especially for the console sales blah blah blah, and honestly Todd had a little more respect for Austin and his death, whereas he had much less for Mike when he tried telling the boss about what happened, along with the fact that Mike had to see that whole mess, and even less respect for Henry since he just showed his entire death to the whole workspace, which understandably made nothing much better and made Mike feel horrible, yeah Jonathan's not too happy either and you can guess why

I honestly don't know how Kyle manages to get Sam's contact info in canon, maybe I forgor but I just ?? But we'll go with it, I was thinking for this AU that maybe Jonathan had some sort of yard sale or something, trying to get rid of a bunch of old stuff him and Kyle don't use or don't need, or items that have memories attached to them that he no longer wants to hang around, and he gets Kyle's Wii cause he assumes he no longer wants the old thing, considering he now has another Wii and a Wii U amongst other consoles, and Kyle finds out later on, after it's already been sold to a mother and her daughter who saw the Wii and begged her mother to get it, needless to say, Kyle isn't happy, idk but I guess he could somehow get names and info from that but yeah, anyway, he contacts Sam, he tells the story, from his view, which is portraying eteled as some reckless or anger filled monster, and Sam doesn't believe it or see it, Kyle says he wants the Wii but doesn't say why, cause he knows she'll decline, but she declines anyway because she finds Kyle to be untrustworthy and tells him that "Well, not my problem that you decided to give your console away, it's mine now, I used part of my money to pay for it, and I honestly don't feel that I can trust your story right now" before eventually blocking him

^And then we know how that goes because she later wants them to talk and all that jazz

Sam had made her own Mii in the Wii so she could not only play as herself, but so it could possibly be comforting for her friend, especially when she had to leave like going somewhere or needing to go to school

^eteled kinda finds the other Miis to be uncanny at times but wouldn't admit it, and he lowkey feels panic go through him when he sees Kyle's old Mii still sometimes popping up and around whenever eteled goes and plays some games in Wii Sports, as if it's messing with him

And ah yes the moment of truth when Kyle is invited over to talk with eteled, and it goes how you'd expect it to, eteled tries to explain himself again, Kyle stands his ground, a fight ensues, eteled starts getting pissed and then Austin shows up, so the whole situation is almost exactly the same, Austin wants to get his ultimate revenge, not caring if the Wii will die because of it, and bam, it goes as planned, except for the fact that Sam manages to save the Wii from permanent damage, (idk if I want it to still be the ice method or maybe another way but she gets the job done) and you can understand the shock (no pun intended) when eteled and Austin are kinda in there just waiting to fade away and nothing happens at all, like "Uhhhh.. we're still here?"

^Also it's because of this event that not only does eteled lose some bits of his memory either permanently or for a long while, he also gets pretty corrupted, you don't see it when he's just chilling normally, but it shows whenever he gets really scared, and only becomes worse the worse his fear is, like fight or flight levels is a full on corruption mess, messy textures, (often) twitchy movement, along with a stuttery/distorted voice and all, so it's why his SF state is kinda all over the place if you know what he looks like in it, he's usually pretty vulnerable and hides away when like this but there's times when he can get aggressive and almost zombie like if he's too deep into it so ya never know, yes he has chased Austin before while like this which is funny but I mean it makes sense, imagine the person you're stuck with just starts acting weird in the dark ass space and starts running around and even chasing you, not even mentioning that they were your murderer, absolute nightmare for the big guy, it's like having a raccoon raid your home, imagine exacting your revenge on someone and because of that they have random chances to just become much more scary and maybe even more powerful than you are

^And yes the corruption is painful so eteled is just in more pain than what's normal for him, and it is possible for him to just fuckin lose his eyes or parts of himself while corrupted cause the code just goes absolutely bonkers during this form, he usually doesn't carry his axe with him if he's in ultimate locked on target mode, but sometimes he will and that is just ten times more dangerous for Austin, but it's not often at all cause he mostly carries it when he's more clear headed or scared and is using it for defense

After lots and lots of time, after the events of the Wii being saved, and Sam getting to know Austin, Kyle and Nathan a bit better, she tries to at the very least have everyone make peace with each other and get along, especially eteled and Austin, even though she is still unaware of their past (not for long), but it does start working, Sam, Nat and Kyle all start forming a friend group, and the two Miis, while struggling, do start getting sorta better, and even hang out sometimes on their own, when they feel comfortable enough to do so, they got some sort of connection going on there that they themselves can't even understand, they usually play sports together when the other three are out or are doing some form of work

^They technically knew each other longer than they originally thought since they were around each other and even talked a little as young kids, but even they forgot most details of that and when they switched schools they quickly became strangers, so yeah, childhood friends to strangers to coworkers to enemies to whatever the hell they are now

^Austin is gay as hell so yes the flirting never stayed in the days that he worked in the office, because after many, maaany years in the Wii, after getting along pretty well and having some sort of friendship grow between them, Austin of course starts doing it subtly again, not even sure why he's doing it himself, and eteled still doesn't understand or pick up on any of it, feeling like the guy is trying to gaslight him or some shit "Nah uh I know what you're up to, I've been through that same song and dance many times before"

Will and Sam make up and become pretty cool hang out buddies, Sam even reintroduces eteled and Will, by request of Will, cause he wants to talk and apologize for messing with the guy, and in turn eteled apologies for scaring him, but Will, now that he's older and looks back on it with more of a laugh, he actually thought it was pretty cool, that fact that the guy could pretty much just spook people outta the blue, although he was a little creeped out by it even now, overall they're on good terms

Jonathan is obviously torn so he's got the board in his basement and everything, and he works on it all the time, but each day he just grows more and more frustrated, not understanding why some of the evidence isn't making much sense, he knows Henry is guilty but some things aren't lining up perfectly or are just missing

Mike and Henry were literally close besties for years, worked by each other's sides, and even invited each other to their apartments, sometimes Henry would stick around and chill at his bestie's place for a few days, although Henry lives alone and usually likes it that way so it's not all the time, one big part being because of noise since he's learned to become very sensitive to it, he jumps and shivers at the sound of footsteps and creaking floors, hell even his own sometimes scare him, but Mike and him are very close, and have been through a lot together

I haven't figured everything out yet but somehow someway Mike finds out about Sam, and how she wants him to come over after hearing that he's eteled's old buddy, and when he comes over he learns everything, and him and eteled/Henry have a moment of being reunited and knowing that the other is okay, or at least kinda okay, Sam knows that Mike is trustworthy and obviously knows eteled from a different and much wider perspective than she does, so she allows him to come over and for the guys to talk and just update each other on things, as weird as it may look with some grown man talking to a little figure on a television, she can tell that they're happy to see one another again, they did talk about what had happened, about Austin's death, without Sam around, even though she knows everything already at this point and had already talked to Kyle, Austin, Nat and especially eteled about it, and while the news did definitely hit Mike straight in the gut, he also knew that it wasn't something Henry had planned or did without some sort of influence, he just felt it, not that it made it any better, but it had been years, no point in getting angry, he kinda figured Henry had something to do with it, but knew that it wasn't just that alone, and was too scared to say anything much sooner, so he sorta sympathizes with him, knowing they were both pushed beyond limits from their job and especially their boss, and that they're both in the wrong, although still holding Henry accountable for doing what he did, especially to Jonathan's brother, he wasn't gonna let him go off easy on that, but he doesn't hate Henry, and it shocks eteled that Mike even still cares about him after everything the guy went through during those times, but he appreciates it, and it seems like they still have a friendship going on

Jonathan is also informed about his brother, but this is done at a different time, later on after Mike and eteled reunited because Sam knew that this was gonna be a whole lot harder, Jonathan was Austin's brother, so it's needless to say how heavy this was gonna be, unbeknownst to Sam that Jonathan was already trying to get all the evidence to finally prove Henry guilty, even though the guy was dead and gone, at least as far as he knew, she also knew that this was gonna be hard for Austin and Kyle, who would both be present when Jonathan would come over, Sam debates whether she should even say anything and potentially reopen an old wound, but she goes ahead and only informs him about Austin, not eteled because she fears how Jonathan will react, especially if he connects the dots and realizes it's Henry

eteled is the only damn soul who knows exactly, in detail, what had happened after Austin's death and how he was talked down to and also threatened into keeping it on the down low, he and Mike are also the only ones who know just how bad they've been treated and how worse it can really get, but eteled hasn't told anybody, not a single person about any of it, other than when him and Mike used to comfort each other and talk about work issues, back when eteled was alive, he just tells no one now, not even when explaining himself and the past and what had happened between him and Austin, he just takes the full blame, half because of heavy guilt and the other half because he's terrified, even though the guy is miles away from that work building, is literally dead, is nowhere near his boss, his boss not even thinking about him anymore most likely, he still had that fear driven into him that if he said something that he'd be in trouble or that something terrible would happen, even though he's in a Wii and nobody can or would really do anything to him besides Austin, he still fears people in his past life, he also wouldn't wanna bring up all of the hidden info like "Hey my boss had a part in this" and have it turned down as if he were trying to take away some blame from himself, which he wouldn't be but is scared to come off that way

^Literally nobody would think like that or would treat eteled that way if he brought it up, but the guy thinks they would

A bit of a more light one, eteled and Austin have sort of made a day and night cycle for the Mii Channel, the light is more tame cause it can become blinding normally, and when people are resting or when it's around the time it would be dark outside, judging by the console's clock, then it would get darker and be more comfy

^Not to be confused with when the Channel just goes full on feral mode and gets pitch black dark or starts changing color cause that's usually Austin or eteled fucking with the atmosphere, like eteled causing it to go super dark like in SF sometimes when he's super upset or even "I'm gonna hunt you down" levels of corrupted

Henry had pretty great relationships with his bro and cousins, and he just hopes now that they're all okay, which they are, his cousins, Jane, Faith and Ellie are actively looking into the info and trying to figure out what really happened to their cousin, and his bro I haven't exactly figured out what to do with him yet aside from trying to do the same thing, but maybe being more exhausted and considering moving on cause living in the past is painful for him, and he is just not getting the right leads or ones that are pleasant, and doesn't wanna face the truth that his older sibling could've killed someone

Oh yeah, in current time, with the Wii already being saved years ago, everyone sorta getting along now and everything following after, everyone is pretty much grown up and are adults, so they work and are a tad less energetic as they were as teens, a tad I say because Kyle and Nathan are still hyper guys but they are having fun

Kyle and Nathan are besties to lovers, Will is gay but just hasn't found someone right yet so he vibes around, Sam isn't even sure what she is, she just feels happy on her own and likes spending time with the group she considers a family, Mike isn't sure what he is either but he does like Jonathan a little bit, Austin is bisexual and you can just tell by his energy alone /lh, first person to ever know about him being bi was his mom who is also bi so she just immediately is very accepting of him, and Henry/eteled seriously doesn't understand romantic love or how it works or what it truly looks or feels like, he doesn't even understand general love that much and is trying to learn it, so he doesn't even know what he would really be attracted to, he's just a trans guy sitting in his corner, only people he ever told about him being trans to was his mom when he was trying to understand himself (and she was a great woman so she tried to help him in his journey, while she was present at least) and Sam later on when they both got closer, other people had to kinda figure it out, aside from Austin who never knew for the longest time but was told by eteled later on when they've been in the Wii for a while, so Austin was one of the last ones to know

Mike had taken care of young Kyle from time to time, like when being invited over and/or if Jonathan had to go out real quick to attend to business or grab something

Sam does sometimes take eteled and Austin out to places when she learns to transfer them across devices, she also lets them occasionally mess around in Tomodachi Life whenever she comes back to play on it for memories, it always ends in some funny chaos and it's all around a nice time for everyone, or mostly everyone

eteled tries to play fair but sometimes he lets himself slip and accidentally go god mode again, or will get bored and just do it for fun, and Sam will cross her arms and look at him like "eteled I told you no more cheating" and he'd just roll his eyes saying "I'm sorryyy, it was an accident"

Henry immediately regretted what he did after he murdered Austin, and couldn't think of anything else for days and was miserable over it, even though Austin had seen him multiple times by watching from computer screens, the guy being in such a miserable state, he felt it was an act or something, and it only fueled Austin's anger, he wanted the guy dead, more than just dead, he wanted him to suffer endlessly, just when Austin was finally getting somewhere and was about to prove to the world that he existed and that he was special, it was taken from him, so he's gonna take something from Henry, Austin can't accept that Henry is sorry at all, he doesn't believe he is, and so he brings the guy down with him, making sure that it hurt (they're both assholes your honor)

Also yes Henry's mom was a bit emo, with some punk baddie in the mix, like mother like son

Wow this is long and I didn't even talk about everything else or go into more detail, but yeah I don't wanna make this overwhelmingly long so I'll stop here before I go on all night long because I've already been typing for some hours now

If I think of anything else I might edit this or make a different post about it but yeah thx for listening to me ramble on and on and on

[divinerulerluvr]

If you're still doing the angst prompts can i get 23.“How do I make you love me again?” with either jimmy or kyle? I understand if not! ty :)

okay :)

“How do i make you love me again?” With Jimmy Darling

Small warning of alcoholism and substance abuse

- - -

Jimmy stumbles into my caravan, clearly very drunk.

We had just had a fight about him being an alcoholic but here he is, shitfaced at four in the morning. I stay in my bed, ignoring how he slurred my name out.

“Come on, Y/n,” he whines, standing at the end of my bed. I sit up, glaring at him. He has a frown on his lips. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was pale. ”What’re you doing?” i ask him flatly, not bothering to be nice to him while he’s in this sloppy state.

“I-I felt bad about earlier and I wanted to apologize to... you,” he stammers. I hadn’t seen him this level of drunk in a while. Jimmy had three levels of drunkenness. 

Level one, he would be a little happier than usual. Irrational and irresponsible were the only good ways to describe him in this state.

Level two, it was more sloppy and he usually got more sappy and mushy during this state. Apologizing for being a shitty person or telling me how much he loves me.

Level three was the level that told you he was in a bad place. He rarely reached this level. If he did, it was followed by him disappearing for a good twelve hours and coming back with either random money, or no money at all.

Right now, he was at level three.

“You’re drunk, Jimmy. Go to sleep,” i say with complete and utter irritation. He sighs heavily, closing his eyes in disappointment. “I’m sorry but you’re right. I have a problem and i-i need help,” he keeps speaking even though i had laid back down in my bed and rolled onto my side as a way to ignore him.

“I need your help. I don’t know how to fix my problems. It-It’s hard to just drop an addiction like that,”

I stay silent, my lips pressed tight together as i feel a tight knot in my chest. I always felt this way because of him. “Just go away. We can talk when you’re sober,” i mumble.

He stays silent for a moment and i think for a second that he had left. But of course, he was still in my caravan.

“Do you even love me anymore?” he asks, breaking the momentary silence that i had genuinely enjoyed. I sit up in my bed again, staring dead at him. “We can talk when you’re sober, Jimmy. I’m not talking to you when you’re like this,” i try to say one last time.

He doesn't accept the excuse. “Just answer my question, Y/n,” he says, his slurred voice clearing just a bit.

“I don’t love this side of you,” i answer honestly, almost afraid to admit the fact to him. His face falls and i can just feel the heartbreak in him. I immediately feel guilty about my words.

“How do i make you love me again?”

I furrow my brows, my eyes adverted from his so i didn’t have to see the saddened look in them.

“Get sober,” i say plainly.

He stares at me for a moment before nodding in defeat. “I love you, Y/n. I’m not gonna lose you over something as stupid as being an alcoholic,”

“Then get sober,” i keep insisting, ignoring his attempts to make me take back the statement. He presses his lips together, his face going blank before he turns to leave my caravan.

The moment i hear the door close behind him, i fall back onto my bed. 

My blankets usually smelt like him. It was the only thing bringing me comfort through the nights he was on a bender.

Now, they just smell like cologne from a store.

- - -

this got depressing real quick i apologize.

[falloutjay]

Eric x careless/troublemaker reader, reader was always a crazy kid, she felt no one really understood her, and her only real friend was Esther Stoley, Annie Knitts and Nicole. But Reader has always admired Eric and never gotten why everyone hated him (she finds both Kyle and Wendy very annoying). One day, she finds him and Butters making their next scheme, and she wants in. After an effective day of pranking, they (well Eric but reader likes Butters's company) take her under their wing. They generally start hanging out and starts to be the 'girl' of the main group (she thinks of Stan, Butters and Kenny has her brothers) and she finds Eric and Kyle's banter hilarious. It gets better (for her at least): she always defends him now (be it irrationally, rationally, verbally or physically) like: Heidi tried to warn Reader about Eric...but the poor girl leaves with a broken nose or Wendy was just upset how someone so awful, could have someone advocate for them and starts to plan to tell her about the breast cancer incident when Bebe would tell that it's Y/n and if anything, what she did to him would just make her stay more, making Wendy stop. She was also a big fan of the Coon and would just gush about how cool he was (she does like Wonder Tweek, Mosquito and Toolshed but she loves Coon the best). Everyone was pretty divsive, some people thought it was funny and teased him on it (like: Craig, Stan and Kenny), some people shipped it (like: Clyde, Butters and weirdly Nicole/Tweek), but some people were afraid of those two becoming a couple (Kyle, Heidi and Wendy). Eric is strangely 'no comment'y about all this until one day, Eric is just about to be turned into the principal when suddenly Reader in a elorate plan, knocks out the witness and pins the blame on someone else. After that's over, Reader can't take it anymore and happily asks him to be her partner/boyfriend and Eric proudly accepts and the two go on to create to create anarchy. May others pray for their safety.

Hey guys! It's me! I'm back! :D

I'm still stressed AF, but after my day was really nice, I felt super motivated to finally continue this lovely prompt, so I did.

I'm currently still in the process of moving and my exams are still not over, but I'm trying!

So I hope I can publish the next request soon and I love all you guys, thank you for all the likes, reblogs, follows and most importantly your patience! <3

____________________________________

Eric Cartman x careless!troublemaker!female!Reader

“Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme Eric?” Butters asked, eyebrow raised as he listened to Erics new pranking plan. “No, it’s not at all, “eXtRemE”.” Eric retorted and shook his head.

They didn’t notice that someone approached them, listening to their plan. “W-well if you say so, I trust you, Eric.” As the fatter one of the two heard a twig snap, his head turned immediately and look at a kid from their class. What was her name again? “Who are you?” Eric asked unimpressed. “Y/N.” She answered dryly.

Butters kept looking between the two, moving his head, whenever someone said something. “What do you want?” “I want in on your plan.” “What makes you think I want someone like you in this? You normally play with the girls.”

“What does that have to do with anything. Just because I hang out with Esther, Annie and Nicole…That changes nothing about the fact that I love what you’re planning here, and I want in.” Eric seemed to think about the proposition for a second.

“Okay. I think I need one more person around here. Butters can barely do one fucking job.” So, he explained the plan to you in big detail. And in your humble opinion, it was brilliant. Once Eric had finished explaining, he looked at you with a sly smile.

“So, what do you think?” You pretended to think for a second, before an evil grin appeared on your face. “Why stop there? We can also pull a prank on the teachers and the school buses if we put in a little more effort.” “Never thought about that one before. I like your way of thinking, Y/N.”

The two looked into each other’s eyes, clearly seeing that mischievous spark in each pair of eyes. Butters watched you in horror, afraid of what he had just now witnessed. “Ohhh hamburgers.”

Y/N became a regular in Stans gang rather fast. Kenny and Stan love her to bits, just like she does. They love hanging out with her and to Kenny she’s like Karen. One thing that Y/N really enjoys is listening to Kyle and Eric's bickering. No matter the topic and no matter how loud or extreme the two get, she just sits there like it’s a cinema and the two are the newest marvel movie. Speaking of superhero movies, South Parks very own heroes are a topic ever so often too. And to Cartman’s delight, his trusted friend loves talking about The Coon. His super-secret hero identity. She would also gush about Wonder Storm, Mosquito and Toolshed but she would always praise The Coon, which is a melody in Cartman’s ears. Another thing Cartman loves about his only female friend is how she loves defending him to anyone. Be it teachers, her fellow girl friends, or anyone else. When Heidi tried to warn her that Eric means bad news, she had to visit the nurse afterwards. Y/N had detention for breaking the poor girl’s nose, but she sure as hell didn’t regret her decision. Even when she was shunned by the girls from there on.

“I just can’t believe her. Maybe she will change her mind when I tell her about the whole Breast cancer thing? You know… It could affect her too, maybe that’s wha-Wendy…” Bebe interrupted her and sighted. “You remember how Heidi was? How every time we said something mean about Cartman, she would only try harder to prove us wrong?” “Of course, I remember. How could I forget.” Wendy mumbled and stabbed her fork through her salad. “If you try to reason with her, she will just hit you with the whole “He isn’t like that”-schtick. You can’t change her mind, okay?” Bebe eyed their classmate who was happily chatting with Eric and Kenny a few tables away. “I guess.” Wendy said defeated and closed her eyes, asking herself how Eric could even make a girl interested in him.

On another table across the cafeteria, Craig and those guys were seated. Oddly enough, their topic was similar. Y/N L/N and Eric Cartman. “I don’t know why but they’d make quite a cute couple you know?” Clyde said with a smile before biting into his burger. “I know, right?” Nicole agreed and to everyone’s surprise, even Tweek nodded along. “I don’t think they’d become a thing though.” Craig mumbled lazily. “Why?” Clyde asked, obviously interested in the gossip.

“Well, Kenny, Stan and I teased him about it in History class, but he keeps saying he doesn’t like her that way.” “Aww, come on Craig, you know very well that he would never admit it just like that. Guys don’t just admit they have a crush. I’m sure he likes her. I mean, she the only one who can stand him for longer than a day.” Nicole commented, a sly smile spread across her face. “I just think the anti-Cartman fraction would rather die than see those two become a thing.” Token commented and his eyes darted across the room, looking at Kyle, Heidi and Wendy. “Well, I guess we will have some funerals to visit sometime soon.” Nicole replied and everyone at their table had to involuntarily smile.

“That’s it. ERIC. To the Principal. Now.” Mister Garrisons voice thundered through the hallways and a confused Y/N closed her locker. She let out a deep sigh, knowing something must have gone wrong with his new plan.

“Guess I gotta bust him out again.”

Knowing the way to the principal by heart she made her way there, only catching a glimpse of the in pink paint and glitter covered Mister Garrison, who kept cursing like crazy.

Y/N happily skipped past the not-occupied secretary desk and took a seat next to Eric. “I already wondered where you are.” Cartman commented unimpressed. “Sorry, I had to look at Garrison for a second. So what went wrong?” “This stupid asshole over there saw me set up the paint bomb in Garrisons locker thing.” The brown-haired whispered and pointed at the kid that was sitting across from them. “Thanks to that asshat, I will probably be suspended for some days or some shit.”

“Okay, I’ll handle it.” The h/c-haired said and got up to go over. She hovered over the boy who was looking up to her. “What?” He asked annoyed. “You’re Jonas Miller, right?” Y/N asked with the sweetest voice she could manage. “Yeah, what makes you care?” He asked, before a fist connected with his face. Surprised by her own strength, he seemed to be dazed and fell onto the other chairs.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Cartman cried out confused. “Fast, hit me!” She said, not fazed at all. “What? Why?” “God, just do it!” Trusting his mischievous partner Erics fist landed on Y/N pretty face and he even felt a hint of remorse. “Good punch Eric. Now the other side.” Once again, trusting his opposite, he did what was asked. Despite now feeling rather woozy, Y/N grabbed Jonas and laid him down in a different position. She then made Eric kneel next to her and hold her.

“If you ever tell anyone I cried, I will tell everyone about your dirty little secrets, yeah?” Eric nodded, somewhat intimidated, and impressed, watched her do her best to cry heavily.

Hearing the blood-curdling scream, Mister Mackey and the secretary came running, looking at the scene before them. Mister Mackey immediately made sure that everyone was okay, before asking the roughed-up Y/N what happened. With a trembling voice, she answered: “J-Jonas over there did the prank on Mister Garrison and-and tried to pin it on-on Eric. So, I c-came here t-t-to tell everyone t-that Eric was with me t-the whole time. When Jonas n-noticed that, he hit m-m-me and Eric punched him, to-to help me.” The now fully awake again Jonas looked at the girl in horror. “N-No! That’s not the story! I- I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT, M'KAY?!” Mister Mackey interrupted him. “Hitting an innocent girl?! Jonas Miller, you will have to face the consequences!” Y/N still held up her best puppy eyes and Mister Mackey finally turned to the two troublemakers. “Eric, will you bring Y/n to the nurse, please. I will bring Jonas to PC Principal personally, m'kay.” Eric nodded, somewhat petrified, and guided Y/N along the corridors. He felt shocked. He didn’t know why. He never felt this scared before.

Once in the nurse’s office and after Y/N was handed an icepack, she was the first one to speak, once the nurse left them alone.

“You’re so quiet.” She commented dryly. “Thank you.” “For what?” “Getting me out of there. I never- It’s fine, okay? Don’t worry.” Silence fell over the two once more. Y/N just enjoyed the cooling ice on her burning skin and Eric still felt thankful for what she did for him. For him. And no one else. She would have never done this for Kyle. Not for Kenny. She did it for him.

“Hey Eric?” The boy next to her nodded. “You know I wouldn’t have done this for anyone else right?” Eric nodded once more. “Can I ask you for something?” “Of course.”

“You know, I like you a lot. So, would you maybe like to be my boyfriend?”

Bonus:

Eric gave no answer. He just slowly intertwined his fingers with hers and that was answer enough. “Are your cheeks red from blushing or is it from me hitting you?” “Maybe a bit of both.” She laughed and to Eric, it was the most beautiful sound he ever listened to. His girlfriend’s laugh.

Kyle was doing his math homework and started to get annoyed with the harder and harder becoming questions. A vibration ripped him out of his thoughts. He fished for his iPhone without taking his eyes off the paper and unlocked it. The contact read “FATASS” and it was a picture. Kyle's eyes widened in horror as his eyes scanned the picture. It was a picture of a list with dozens of prank ideas. The caption was what truly terrified him. “Me and my GIRLFRIEND brainstormed a bit, hope you’re ready Kahl <3”

Kyle felt like crying. Not only because of his math homework but also because his worst nightmare became a reality. Cartman has a Girlfriend. And it was no other than the infamous Y/N L/N.

[lotusthekat]

All We Ever Wanted (Was Everything)

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Rating: G

Relationships: Kyle & Adora

Characters: Kyle, Adora, Lonnie; MENTIONED - Catra

Summary: She inspects the bandages, and eventually her hand touches the claw marks again. Adora doesn’t cry again.

Kyle says nothing either and so they’re really silent. The other kids’ talking is nothing more than incoherent mumbles. It never makes sense to him, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever learn to understand.

They’re both looking at Lonnie and the rest, then they’re staring at their own laps, inside their little, lonely corner.

“Maybe…” Adora is hiding her wound again. “Maybe they didn’t mean it?”

She doesn’t specify who ‘they’ are, and Kyle neither agrees nor disagrees. He shrugs and gazes away to the side. “It still hurts,” he whispers painfully.

Takes place pre-canon. Canon divergent.

Word count: 1.749

AO3

A/N: More Adora & Kyle because this is my life: dedicating myself to an underrated platonic relationship because fandoms won’t do so >:’v

Again, be aware of the tags and the trigger warnings below! This might be OOC since I’m still new to this fandom ^^; Hope you enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNINGS - abuse/bullying, physical abuse, major character injury and childhood trauma

NOT CATRA/C*TRADORA OR LONNIE FRIENDLY!

--

They… haven’t gotten back for a while now.

Kyle admits he’s been worried for his two friends, Adora and Catra. They were all playing together really, but then a scream alarmed everyone. When he realized, Lonnie had a black eye, Catra ran away and Adora went after her. Lonnie’s been angry this whole time, so Kyle would rather stay on his lane until everyone’s apologized and calmed down.

If anything, it’s all Kyle can do here. He can’t go out there and help his friends. He’s not wanted anywhere, but it’s not like he wants to be completely alone in the Horde. It’s not really worth it.

Kyle is sat in the endless greens, while Lonnie rants about Catra and everyone else comments on her behavior. Kyle is not really sure how he feels about the feline. Catra is… scary. She’s pretty close to Adora, but otherwise she never gets close to anyone and she messes with him a lot. Even so, Kyle is concerned about her, because she doesn’t lash out like this out of nowhere. He hopes that she and Adora come back okay.

Fifteen minutes become thirty, and that’s when Kyle hears someone coming.

The boy almost greets Adora and Catra back, except Catra isn’t with her, and Adora is…

Kyle gasps and rushes to her.

“Adora, are you okay?” He asks.

She doesn’t reply. Adora looks like she’s been crying for a whole lot of minutes, since her eyes are red and puffy. The girl looks like she’s about to cry again at the question.

“Adora, where’s—” Lonnie approaches them, stopping when she takes a look at the blond girl. As a result, Lonnie becomes a lot angrier, “Seriously?! Catra is the worst! She even scratched Adora!” She tells her other friends.

“D-Don’t say that,” Adora speaks up but very quietly. She’s never looked so sad before.

“Am I wrong, though?! She hit me out of nowhere and she hurt you, too! This is wrong!” Lonnie insists, irritated.

“S-She didn’t mean to, Lonnie—”

“Why do you keep defending her, Adora?! She’s always been like this! She doesn’t like us!”

“Shut up!” Adora yells back, her voice wavering with tears.

Despite her pleads, Lonnie only argues more. Kyle watches, in conflict. He understands how angry Lonnie must be – her black eye is enough of a reason, Kyle gets it, but…

He avoids standing up to Lonnie or Catra or anyone else – because he’s wimpy and lame, and a crybaby – but this isn’t fair to Adora. Lonnie is only making everything worse.

“S-Stop it, Lonnie!” Kyle stands between the girls – his adrenaline immediately going away when Lonnie glares at him.

“Who asked you, Kyle?” Lonnie pushes him aside, Kyle pathetically falling back.

“Leave him alone!” Adora steps at her. “At least he’s not yelling at me!”

Kyle looks up, afraid they might get in a fight, but the brown-haired girl leaves them be.

“Alright, fine, you crybaby. But don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lonnie hisses.

Kyle flinches when someone touches him, though it turns out to be Adora. Lonnie has walked away.

“Are you hurt?” Adora checks over him as she helps him get on his feet.

“I-I’m okay. But…” Kyle gulps at the claw marks scratching her face. “I’m sure that hurts a lot more.”

Adora looks away, covering the wound with her hand. She vaguely glances at the other cadets and so she pulls Kyle with her to the same corner he was before; the unnoticed, unbothered safe place to him. It’s… weird having someone else with him.

“I know Catra has a really hard time getting close to people… but I don’t know what went wrong this time,” Adora admits in a low voice. Kyle is a little surprised she’s talking to him at all, but he lets her. “Maybe I did something wrong?”

“What? You didn’t do anything.”

“B-But I’m supposed to look after her. She got mad at me and h-hurt me in the face,” Adora hiccups, fresh tears dropping. “I just wanted her to apologize and be okay with everyone. I know she didn’t mean to hurt Lonnie.”

Kyle hums, unsure what to answer.

“Maybe I should’ve said something else… or stayed with her…” Adora mumbles to herself, trying desperately to dry her own tears. “I-I’m the worst friend ever.”

“I think you’re a pretty good friend, Adora,” Kyle reassures her, “I know you did your best.”

Adora looks up confused. “Y-You think so?”

“Mm-hmm.” Kyle scoots a little closer to her. “Maybe Catra just needs some time to cool off, y’know? You could try to talk to her later… or maybe she’ll come back here by herself. We could wait and see.”

Adora sniffs, considering the suggestion.

“That’s not a bad idea…” she mutters. “Maybe she’ll be ready to talk on her own time.”

Kyle nods. “Yeah, she must be really mad… I don’t know what for, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Okay. Yeah, you’re right.” Adora sighs.

Kyle watches as she finishes drying her tears. He doesn’t really know how to comfort people because he’s never done so, but he stays somewhat close to her if she needs him.

“Th… Thanks, Kyle,” Adora whispers, giving him a small smile.

Kyle’s face flushes. “Oh, ah… you’re welcome." He grins shyly, "That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Yeah…” Adora’s little grin fades.

He frowns in worry and is about to apologize when she brings up something.

“How did you get those?” Adora points at the bandages hiding his arms.

“Oh…” Kyle gulps. “We were playing a little too hard today. I was, y’know, being me,” he laughs awkwardly.

Adora doesn’t laugh with him and instead asks quietly, “Who did it?”

Kyle opens his mouth but decides to be silent. Regardless, he timidly points at the other cadets from afar. One person specifically. Adora seems to catch his sign.

“It’s okay, though. It’s usually… worse,” Kyle clears his throat.

Adora seems defeated, as if she’s fought three training robots in five minutes. Kyle didn’t really expect her to be that concerned about him, but he decides not to say it.

She inspects the bandages, and eventually her hand touches the claw marks again. Adora doesn’t cry again.

Kyle says nothing either and so they’re really silent. The other kids’ talking is nothing more than incoherent mumbles. It never makes sense to him, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever learn to understand.

They’re both looking at Lonnie and the rest, then they’re staring at their own laps, inside their little, lonely corner.

“Maybe…” Adora is hiding her wound again. “Maybe they didn’t mean it?”

She doesn’t specify who ‘they’ are, and Kyle neither agrees nor disagrees. He shrugs and gazes away to the side. “It still hurts,” he whispers painfully.

After that, they don’t talk about anything else.

--

Adora actually sticks by Kyle’s side until it’s dinner time. Maybe she’s not too comfortable around everyone else.

The girl barely eats her ration bars – she’s gotten Catra’s too –, even though the gray ones are her favorite if memory serves him correct. Kyle eats quietly from the other side of the circle, where sits Rogelio, Lonnie and the other cadets he doesn’t really know. At this point Lonnie is laughing along with them. Everyone acts like nothing happened.

Eventually, Adora stands up and leaves the bars aside. Kyle follows her (but hopes that isn’t uncalled for).

“Where are you going?” He wonders when they’re alone.

“I’ll go after Catra.” Adora doesn’t turn around. She sounds… tired but worried. “It’s not fair for her to lose dinner.”

“Right.”

“I should be going.”

“W-Wait, I could- I could go with you!”

Once Adora actually looks back, he regrets the words that came out.

“I-I mean…” Kyle clears his throat. “I just thought… you might need help? N-Not that you can’t do stuff alone, that’s not what I… uh…”

While he’s ready to be ignored or maybe scoffed at (seriously, Kyle? How pathetic can you be? he hears Lonnie say), Adora actually smiles at him.

“Thanks, Kyle,” Adora whispers, “but I’ll be okay. You can go eat with the others.”

(Kyle wants to say the opposite. That he wants to go with her. That he wants to share that little corner with her, because no one has ever wanted to go there with him. He wants to go with her and make sure she has that little corner for her, too. Even though he’s probably going to be easily knocked out by everyone and everything, it yells more than his fears for the first time in his life.)

“Okay,” he replies. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later.”

Adora finally leaves.

Kyle watches her go.

He sighs and returns to the common room.

Adora doesn’t come back.

--

Everything is back to normal then.

Adora and Catra are playing together again. The claw marks aren’t gone, though. There are other times they fight, but Kyle doesn’t see them around anymore.

Lonnie still mocks him often. Other cadets have joined her. Even Rogelio agrees with them at times.

It stays that way until one day. A pretty low day. There’s no one at the common room this time. Kyle was kicked out of the training for ruining everything, and Lonnie pushed him too hard. He's dried his eyes out of tears at this point.

The room is dark and empty, abandoned bars dirtying the floor. Kyle is hungry but his food was pretty much stolen when he tried to find it.

It’s one of the really bad days.

Kyle spends the rest of the day there. He plans to stay hidden until the night. He doesn’t want to face anyone else today.

That’s when the door opens, and Kyle hides deeper in his arms and knees. He’s really not up to have Lonnie make fun of him for another ten minutes again. But there’s no laughter, no multiple, fierce steps, no teasing…

Nothing, but quiet steps and breaths.

He awaits but there’s nothing. He doesn’t really dare look up. Not until whoever is there plops down beside him.

Then there’s crying.

The room is barely illuminated, if not for the light from outside, but Kyle notices the red scratches staining shaky arms and ripped clothes.

Kyle scoots close until the bodies are touching, and Adora cries harder as her energy falls against him. Her sobs echo in the empty room, the lonely corner only they know.

Kyle doesn't cry again, no energy left. But he stays for Adora.

[shurisneakers]

espresso [13]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning:  angst, pining 

Word count: 2.1k (???)

A/N: hi !  all my love to @samingtonwilson​ for making me not sound like a 6 year old when i write this never-ending series and for being a true queen ! we stan an icon

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 12 || Espresso Masterlist

To Bucky:

Can we talk?

From Bucky:

Coffee shop at 7?

To Bucky:

Okay.

It almost felt like déjà vu. But this time you were nervous, and not nearly as much as you were confused– a stark contrast to the meeting you had at this very location months ago to start this deal.

It was deserted– for now.

You knew the crowd would pick up gradually as students filtered in for their daily dose of caffeine, so you didn’t have much time.

You took a deep breath, pushed open the door, and let the bell above you jingle. A joyous sound for something so… jumbled up.

Bucky perked up at the noise, pausing momentarily from cleaning the counter.

I got this. I got this.

“Hey.” He sent a tiny lopsided smile your way as you took your place at one of the stools before the counter.

I don’t got this.

“Hey.” The confidence you’d felt just outside was beginning to slip away.

Fuck.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked politely, gesturing around to the menus in front of you. It was almost eerie how uncharacteristically silent your surroundings were.  

“No, I’m good. Thank you though.”

He nodded as he pulled a stool towards him to sit. The counter separated the two of you. “We have about thirty minutes before the usuals start coming in.”

“Okay.”

Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.

“Did you read it? The letter?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

And it scared the shit out of me.

“Fucking hell,” you cursed, sighing lightly. “I’m so confused, James. It was so fucking confusing.”

“Why?”

“Because of the dates. Every time I thought there may be a hint of something more, you’d set me up on another date with some other guy who I didn’t even like. Did you do it on purpose?”

“No. Not consciously at least. I would never,” his voice slowly trailed off.

“But?” you pressed.

“But I did spend time thinking about it and… reflecting, I guess. And I think my defense mechanism or insecurities or whatever did have a role in it, but I never noticed until you pointed it out.”

“That’s a fucking dick move, you know.”

“I know,” he swallowed, tired eyes on the counter flitting up to meet yours. “I’m sorry. Truly. ”

“And what is it with these?” You pointed to the cups in front of you. “Why is everyone so obsessed with these?”

He leaned forward on his forearms. “I used to write little pieces of poetry whenever you came in. Or messages when you didn’t look like you were having a good day. Just innocuous stuff.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you saw them but didn’t care. A bunch of times you threw them away pretty quickly so I kinda figured you were doing it to save me from humiliation. So I just stopped after a while.”

“I didn’t see them.”

“Yes, I know that now.”

“Do you remember some of the stuff you wrote?” you asked hopefully. “Do I get to read it now?”

“All of it.” He laughed and pulled away from the counter. “But you’re not going to see it again. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Why do you hate everything you write so much?”

He shrugged. “I tend to get dramatic a lot. And emotional.”

“That isn’t a bad thing.”

Wordless, he just picked up a cloth to wipe at some glasses he knew were already clean. Until, “Any more questions?”

“Why didn’t you like Rumlow?”

“Oh, come on.” He looked at you like you were kidding, disbelieving. His expression fell when he realized you weren’t.  “Really?”

“Really. We’re getting all the skeletons out now.”

“Because-” a disgruntled sigh, “because he was absolute garbage! He was a fucking dick and I already hated him, but then he went and did that whole thing with Dot-“ he gestured wildly to make up for unfound words.

“-And after that I literally couldn’t look at his face without wanting to punch the living shit out of him.”

If it wasn’t clear by now, you could tell by the clench of his jaw that talking about Rumlow triggered something in Bucky.

Deciding to spare his anger before it spiraled through less important explanations, you pointed at the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. “What happened here?”

“Punched a wall.” That was a lie, you could tell. But you didn’t push it any further. “Pulled a Kyle.”

You rolled your eyes at his outdated joke, but he didn’t seem to mind, going back to wiping at the mugs in silence.

You just watched him breathe through it, his shoulders dropping tight tension as seconds passed.

“You know, you never actually told me what happened at the bar,” he spoke up, attempting to change the topic smoothly, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“How much do you know?”

“Only what Dot told me, honestly.”

Fucking Dolores.

You groaned. “Dot? Fucking Dot knows about what happened?”

“She doesn’t know anything,” he interrupted before you had the chance to whine more.

You looked at him quizzically.

“It wasn’t my story to tell. She just said that your reaction made her realize there was some kind of history between you and Rumlow because no one leaves so suddenly in the middle of a conversation.”

You were gonna regret this but-

“Why was she in your room that day?”

He titled his head in confusion. “Which day?”

“Your birthday. I came to give you your present and she was wearing your shirt.”

It was like you couldn’t help yourself.

You cleared your throat after a beat, straightening your posture. “Actually, I’m sorry it’s none of my business. I didn’t-“

“Becca spilled her drink on her,” he explained coolly. Not defensive in the least. “I just gave her a shirt so that she didn’t have to stay in that for the rest of the night. Nothing happened between us.”

Oh. Becca had mentioned that she’d spilt her drink on fucking Dolores. Okay, maybe you didn’t connect the story. In anger. Maybe a little jealousy.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place to ask.”

“It’s alright. I was going to clear it up that day but you left so suddenly.” You almost snorted as he continued, “She asked about you after the bar. She was a little worried.”

Slowly, the guilt of disliking her so badly was starting to creep into your mind. You’d always known there was no real reason to.

You owed her an apology basket.

Maybe two.

“What’s going on in your head? I can feel you thinking too much all the way here.”

“Who the hell writes people rejection letters, Bucky?” The thought was absurd enough to warrant a smile from you and a small laugh from him.

“Told you it was dorky.”

“Didn’t realize it was to this degree.”

“Yeah, well.” He shrugged, not saying anything to defend himself.

You glanced at the clock above the register. You had only ten minutes to go, and almost all the questions you had thought of had been answered.

Almost.

The one thing you wanted to know itched at you, aching to get out but you weren’t sure you had the confidence to just fucking ask-

“You good? Sure I can’t get you a-“

“Do you have feelings for me?” you asked directly. A straight shot.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. To be honest, you were almost shocked yourself at how blunt you’d just been, but you were so tired. So tired. You wanted it done, out in the open. Clear air for once.

“Like, right now. This instant.”

“Y/N, I-” A sigh. A slow comb of his hands through his hair. A glance to the side.

“The letter, James.” You didn’t break your stare. Didn’t dare. Your heart felt two seconds from bursting through your chest. “You wrote it in the letter that you used to.”

No movement aside from a shift of his gaze downward, focusing on restless fingers. He pursed his lips, another sigh. But he said nothing.

Seconds of silence passed.

It almost felt suffocating.

Your eyebrows were knit together. “Bucky-”

“Yes.” You fell silent as his eyes met yours with little hesitation. “Yes. I do.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting him to say, but you froze. You opened your mouth but shut it again, unable to form any words. Well fuck.

His shrug was nonchalant, but the fall of his shoulders to a defeated slump was anything but. “Y/N, you have to know that our friendship means the world to me, and if this is going to change everything, then please, please stop me right now.” “I-”

“You’re my Mario,” his voice cracked but the corner of his lips tugged upwards. “I can’t afford to lose that.”

You didn’t know what to say. Of course everything it would change things between you. How could it not?

It’s not like you wanted to give up what you had with him. You didn’t know if you were being selfish, but the intensity of whatever it is that you were feeling was there and it hurt.

“Don’t-” he interrupted your train of thought with a restrained, almost forced smile. An attempt at confidence, perhaps. “Don’t overthink this. You really don’t have to say anything.”

“I just-” Bucky continued, another dramatic gesturing of his hands when words fell short. “Figured it was ‘bout time you knew. Properly.”

“Since when?” you sounded unsure.  

“How long? Oh, man.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Shits, I think it’s been a good couple of years now.”

Silently, you mulled it all over. Sat with it all for a minute.

He smiled, genuine now. No longer forced and tight, but relieved at the loss of the weight on his chest.

He set down the glass he was holding and swung the rag over his shoulder.

“I’m… fuckin’ shit at communication, Y/N,” he admitted as your lips pursed. “You know that. I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t tell Dot. I couldn’t talk to Becca, forget anyone else. It’s so fucking hard for me to talk about-”

“Feelings?”

“Feelings,” he confirmed, nodding. “Emotions. It’s almost like I can’t. It’s easier just shut up and listen to others talk all the time.”

It made sense.

Even though he asked you not to overthink, everything he did was thought over, and then thought over again, and again and million more times just out of selfless concern.

“It feels selfish. And I hate feeling that way.”

You knew he wasn’t very open but this-

This was new to you. It didn’t shock you like you’d thought it would, but it was still… a little difficult to hear.

“What you feel is important too, you know. Not that you should feel that way, but it’s okay to be a little selfish,” you replied, voice soft.

“Yeah well-“ He paused before shaking his head. “Communicating is just something I have to work on, I guess.”

“Me too, apparently,” was your mumbled response.

All of this could have been avoided if you’d just had this conversation months ago. Like proper adults. Mature adults.

“We both have some serious issues,” he said lightly, cracking a smile at you.

You didn’t respond. You just played with the hem of your scarf, unraveling a piece of thread from the rest of it.

You could hear the sound of cars pulling up to the shop. A glance at the clock confirmed an incoming crowd.

But something felt incomplete.

You felt uneasy.

“Ah fuck, here they come,” he cursed, a quick smoothening his hair before pulling on his barista cap.

You took it as your sign to leave, gathering your few belongings that sat scattered before you.

“I’ll see you around Buck-”

“Y/N.”

You lifted your head to meet his stare.

“I know I shouldn’t really be asking this, but are we- We’re good, right?”

You stopped your own restless fidgeting.

You couldn’t tell him you weren’t sure, could you? Could you tell him that and that you were relieved?

Relieved that it hadn’t been in your head, that there were feelings on his end. Angry, though, that even if his intentions with the dates had been pure, what he did kinda sucked. That misunderstandings which could’ve been solved with a little maturity and a little communication lingered for so long, caused so many sleepless nights.

Could you tell him all of that and how it all hurt?

You knew he wasn’t looking for reciprocation. You knew he didn’t deem himself worthy of it. Even though he was good. Through it all, he was still good. Probably always would be. Too scared to hurt others, too scared to put the weight of his feelings on anyone else.

Maybe that’s why it was so confusing.

It was so fucking confusing.

His stare didn’t waver even as the bell above the door rang, signaling a new customer. Never a lapse in intensity.

“Yeah. I think we’re good.”

[benkouji726]

Four times they were THAT COUPLE and one time they were REALLY THAT COUPLE

I was writing the last two chapters of my Forlex 5+1 fic when the angst in chapter 5 got to me hard I had to stop and go write some stupidly fluffy stuff. So here it is, some Malex fluff because I only know how to write these two as helplessly in love idiots.

Summary: Four times Alex and Michael show their epic love without even trying to and one time they are obvious about it.

1. Maria and Isobel

Maria wanted to look away, she really did. It was a little bit weird to stare at your ex-boyfriend and your best friend who had finally pulled their heads out of their asses and were currently dating. But she just couldn’t.

To be fair, they didn’t even do much. Alex was saying something, and judging by the serious look on his face and the notes he was showing Guerin, it was not anything casual or flirty, but all business. Guerin appeared to listen earnestly too, he nodded now and then, sometimes interrupted Alex to ask a question or two. In short, they were just having a serious conversation, Maria should know, they were never intentionally being affectionate when she was present, no matter how many times she told them she was totally over Guerin by this point.

So they really didn’t do anything. But the atmosphere around them, somehow exuded intimacy and love, when they looked at each other, even the air seemed thicker. She didn’t know how they did it, and more importantly, how the hell had she missed it before.

Then Alex said something, worry written all over his face. Guerin reached out, closed the notebook in Alex’s hand, and laid his hand there. His pinkie touched Alex’s for about 3 seconds, and Alex visibly relaxed a fraction. Then Guerin pulled back his hand, and they continued to discuss whatever they were talking about, as if nothing happened.

“Ugh, they’re the worst, aren’t they.” Isobel appeared out of nowhere and looked at the couple too, “why do they have to be so in love all the time? It’s inconsiderate to the single ones, not to mention gross.”

Maria was never this grateful for Isobel in her whole life. “So it is not just me, right? I’m not some ex-girlfriend who gets uncomfortable watching her ex and her best friend make heart eyes towards each other?”

Isobel tsked. “Please, the way they look at each other, is SO MUCH MORE than just heart eyes, they could burn the whole place down with only their gaze, it’s nauseating.”

She then stood up, “I can’t watch anymore. I need to break them out of their loving bubble or I’m gonna throw up.”

But she smiled fondly when she walked over.

——————————————

2. Liz and Max

They were having a double-date-turned-movie-night when Liz said, exasperatedly, “Could you please tune it down a notch?”

Michael seemed confused as if he didn’t have a clue why Liz would say such thing to him. “What? You have the remote, you tune it down.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “No, I mean, could you stop being so...” she was lost for words for a moment.

“She meant would you tune down the PDA a notch.” Max, like the knight in a shining armor that he was. came to the rescue.

Michael looked down, to the one foot room between him and Alex on the sofa, and their not-at-all touching bodies, exchanged a question look with Alex, and said, “Last I checked, PDA still means public display of affections, right?”

“And you are practically sitting on Max’s lap.” Alex added.

Liz threw her hands in the air. “We’re doing normal couple stuff! What you two are doing, it’s next level of affection display, OK?”

She pointed an accusing finger to Michael. “Do you even know what we’re watching? Or have you counted all of Alex’s eyelashes at this point?”

To his credit, Michael didn’t even blink. “I was amazed by his eye color because it changed every time the screen light changed, but go on.”

“It’s called reflection you idiot.” Liz was exasperated, “and you did this lip tweak thing every five minutes or so, what was that about? You were like, this close to bursting but still trying to hold it in. It was very distracting.”

There was a little blush this time. “That’s not my fault. Alex has some weird sense of humor, he always laughs at the totally not laughable moments, and I find it cute, so sue me.”

Alex was offended at that. “Well, I find YOU funny, don’t I?”

Michael instantly forgot the existence of Liz and Max, and turned to Alex. “Didn’t say it was bad sense of humor, just weird. And weird can be good, you know. It can be fantastic.”

They looked at each other then, both smiling, until they looked away, Alex’s ears turned a little red, Michael cleared his throat, they didn’t seem to move, but somehow they ended up sitting a bit closer.

Liz sighed. “That’s a no on tuning it down, then.”

————————————

3. Kyle

Kyle had enough.

He was happy for Alex. The guy deserved to be happy, even if his happiness lied on some angry cowboy who disliked him for no reason.

OK there had been a reason, but he proved himself, over and over again, that he was a new man now, even Alex had forgiven him, so Guerin’s dislike was getting a little ridiculous at this point. They couldn’t even have a peaceful conversation without Guerin’s snarky comments, it was tiresome to say the least.

Like now, they were researching the files of Project Shepard together, Alex was showing him some pattern of codes and asked him if he remembered anything from his Dad that could give a keyword to solve the pattern, when Guerin suddenly put a hand around Alex’s shoulder. He didn’t do anything else though, just hand on his shoulder, hips touching, and stood there.

But somehow his demeanor screamed “back off, he’s mine.”

Kyle was a little shocked to be honest. He never saw Guerin like this, and he also didn’t know what he’d done to cause this kind of behavior. He felt like an intruder for standing next to such a blatant display of love and possessiveness.

Then Alex turned a little to Guerin, put his hand into his curls, and pulled, just a fraction, which lasted only a second. When he took back his hand, Guerin took his hand off his shoulder too. His face a shade of pink, his eyes glowing with love and trust. They stood side by side, hips no longer touching.

If anything, Kyle felt even more like an intruder after that.

———————————

4. The whole group

They were having an emergency meeting at the diner.

“I can’t take it anymore”, Isobel whined. “They’re insufferable. I was happy being single, but they just had to ruin it for me!”

“You? What about me? I almost went out with that guy just because they made me feel so lonely!” Maria glared.

“We went together to Planet 7 one night, they were so stupidly in love I almost went home with A GUY too.” Kyle said, if they were competing for the title of “most miserable witness of Malex’s epic love”, he would WIN.

“It’s not easy for the happily dating ones either, OK?” Liz said, “Max is trying so hard these days, because he would turn anything with Mikey into a competition, it’s exhausting.”

“Hey! I’m right here!”

“Anyway”, Liz ignored him, “Halloween is coming. I really don’t want them dressing up like some eternal love story and gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes while in COSTUME. It’s hard to watch when they are in regular clothes already, you know?”

They all nodded. Except for Kyle.

“From what I know, Alex doesn’t do Halloween, so is this precaution really necessary?”

Isobel snorted. “Michael didn’t have any chance to do Halloween before. I heard him talking to Alex yesterday that he would like to do the couple costume thing with him this year. He even brought out his puppy eyes and bashful smile in full mass. I left at that point, because otherwise I’d have to claw my eyes out, but I doubt Alex would refuse Michael anything at that moment.”

Kyle admitted defeat rather quickly.

“So, what do we do?”

———————————

“A themed Halloween party?” Michael asked, with doubt.

“Yes!” Liz replied enthusiastically, “we all have to dress up as the person of our dreams, be it a celebrity or a character, or some historical figure”, she threw a teasing glance towards Max, “it’ll be fun!”

“So, I should just dress up as Alex?”

The whole group groaned.

Alex laughed. “You are doing this so Michael and I won’t do the couple costume, aren’t you.” It was not a question.

Isobel rolled her eyes. “Gee, why would we do that, it’s not like you are THAT COUPLE.”

“That couple?” Alex asked, while leaning into Michael at the word couple, as if he couldn’t help himself. Infuriating thing was, Michael leaned RIGHT BACK.

“You know, the couple that grazes on everybody’s nerves because they are JUST SO IN LOVE that they look like they’re about to jump each other in any given moment but also want to wrap themselves in a warm fluffy blanket and never leave the couch? You are THAT COUPLE.”

“Okay”, Alex said slowly, as if he was struggling to understand, the bastard, “so how would it help the situation if Michael and I dress up as each other at the Halloween party?”

Guerin snorted at that, he seemed SO PROUD OF HIS ALEX for being a dick.

“You are NOT dressing up as each other!” Maria half yelled. “Nobody is dressing up as anybody in this group!”

“Alright! Jesus.” Michael laughed. “We won’t.”

———————————

“What. The. Fuck.” Liz watched Alex and Michael approaching, and she was speechless.

Well, almost. “You promised you won’t dress up as each other, you lied!”

Michael smirked, nose ring and eyeliner firmly in place. “Technically we didn’t. I’m not Alex, I’m his seventeen year old self, and he is a new man now.”

And Alex, honest to God had a curly wig on, smirked in equal measure, “What can I say? You chose an impossible theme for us to do any other costume. Now who’s fault is that?”

Liz hated them so much.

————————————

+1 Cameron

Cameron was waiting for bathroom in wild pony for five minutes now, she was getting impatient.

So when Alex and Michael tumbled out of it, she just couldn’t help herself.

Thing was, they were not even trying to hide the fact that they had been having sex.

Yes, the clothes were intact, the hair obviously combed, they were walking side by side, a reasonable distance between them.

But the satisfied expressions and fucked out bliss were also very evident.

“I always thought sex in wild pony’s bathroom was an urban myth, you know”, she said, conversationally, “who would do it here, I thought, with the smell, the sticky floor and the terrible soundproof condition, surely they would rather up and leave than keeping at it, right?”

Michael, as she predicted, shamelessly smiled, his posture relaxed, slutty even, he winked.

“Worth it for a great lay.”

What she didn’t predict, was for Alex to say, calmly and deadpan.

“And by great lay he means me.”

They continued to leave, now hand in hand.

[stones-x-bones]

When You Come Undone || Morgan and Bex

TIMING: A little after Bex went to see Kyle PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems and @inbextween SUMMARY: Morgan consoles Bex and gets her to finally admit that death is scary. CONTENT: PTSD mention, Domestic/Child Abuse mention

Bex woke up in her bed but didn’t remember how she got there. She remembered leaving to meet Kyle and pacing outside the cafe and seeing Kyle and then-- oh. Bex turned onto her side in her bed and found herself staring at her door. It was dark in the room, but it was still light outside, and it was streaming through the hastily closed curtains behind her. She was alone in the room, but she could hear voices outside her door. Stiffly, she sat up, wincing as her chest throbbed. She’d exerted herself too much. She always pushed herself too much. Squeezing her eyes shut as she braced herself through the wave of pain, arms shaking, she tried to recall how much damage she’d done. She remembered falling into the grass, could hear the sidewalk cracking beneath her fingertips as she crawled away. She remembered Kyle saying something to her, and then a frantic beating in her chest, and a scream. Another voice. A familiar one. It was the same voice on the other side of the door. Bex pressed her ear to it and closed her eyes, letting the cool touch of the wood calm the fire in her chest. Morgan was too far away for her to hear what she was saying, so she backed away and went back to her bed, sinking on top of the blankets as if her limbs were melting. Finally, the door opened and light streamed in and Bex looked across the room to see Morgan standing in her doorway. She had something in her hands-- water, food, maybe-- and what Bex presumed to be as worried of a look as she could muster right now. She turned away and curled her arms into her chest, hugging her pillow. She didn’t want to talk, but she wondered if Morgan would even fight her on it. 

Morgan went over the whole incident with Deirdre after she tucked Bex in bed. There was so much she didn’t know, but she could guess, couldn’t she? And what now? Did she let her sleep it off and keep blaming herself? Did she drag everything out of her? Morgan was at a loss, but at least she knew that Bex had to eat, and hydrate. She put together a little meal and some soothing tea and brought it up to Bex’s room on a tray.

“Hey, honey--?” She called softly, trying to gauge if she was awake. 

Bex was curled up in bed, clutching her pillow like it was the only thing keeping her on the ground.

“I brought you a little something to help you get your strength back. You’ll get sick if you stay like this on an empty stomach and dehydrated, and I know you don’t want that.” She came inside and set the tray on the nightstand, then sat on the bed next to the girl and trailed her fingertips along her stiff back. “We don’t have to talk about it right away, but you do need to take care of yourself, honey. Okay? Can you sit up a little on your own?”

Bex clutched her pillow tighter at the touch. She didn’t mean to, but she did. Her body was still taught from the afternoon, but she was tired, so tired. She felt as if someone had unplugged her or drained her energy through a funnel and taken every bit of her away with it. She buried her face in the pillow when Morgan sat on the bed, prodded her to sit up. She knew she needed to eat, to drink some water, to do something other than lay in this bed, but she didn’t want to. She just wanted to lay here, as if defeated after a long day. Except the day hadn’t been long, it had been short and painful and terrorizing. Her heart pumped a little faster at the thought and she squeezed until her knuckles turned white before unclenching. A technique she’d learned a long time ago to make herself tired, to calm herself down. She shifted to turn her head to look back at Morgan. She looked worried, possibly upset. Her eyes went to the tray of food. “I’m not hungry,” she mumbled, feeling much like a sick child, wasting away in a bed that she wished could swallow her whole.

Morgan brought her hand up to Bex’s hair, teasing out the tangles with a lighter touch than she’d used before. “I am familiar with that feeling,” she said. “I just want to help, Bex. I can hold you up, if you feel too weak. I know you like to do for yourself, but it’ll be harder if you wait till your body gets sick. And if you’re trying to punish yourself-- well, you already know what I’m going to say about that. But you don’t have to do things for yourself all the time. Sometimes you can do things for other people. For me, for Mina, maybe. You’re not alone in this world, honey. So you don’t have to act like you are. You are loved, always.” Slowly, Morgan shifted closer on the bed and checked Bex’s cheeks for tears with a brush of her fingers. “Tell me how I can help.”

She had not been crying, there wasn’t enough energy left in her for that. Bex supposed she’d screamed it all out while she relived her nightmare on the front lawn of the campus. It still played behind her eyelids and stung in her chest. Morgan’s soft voice broke through her mind just like it had not some few hours ago. Bex turned to look at her again before turning onto her other side to face Morgan, still gripping her pillow as it were her only lifeline. She felt hollowed out, empty, old versions of herself trying to replace the one that she’d worked so hard to grow. “That’s…never happened before,” she managed to say, throat grainy and raw, probably from all the screaming she’d done. She worked her way over until her head was on Morgan’s lap and drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t understand why that happened.” Or maybe she did, but tucked away in all of the memories of hiding and holding it in and boxing her trauma, the instructions weren’t so clear. For all the times her parents broke her bones, they’d never made her fear dying.

Morgan let Bex settle on her and reached out to guide her lanky body a little closer to her. Taking their closeness as a cue, she brushed Bex’s hair off her shoulders and started combing her fingers slowly through. “Well, you’ve never had a near death experience before either,” she said softly, barely above a whisper. “That’s not your everyday, brush it off kind of trauma. That latches onto you, like with little hooks, or like tar. You have to get off you on purpose, intentionally, or it pulls you down whenever it wants. And that’s not an easy thing. Sometimes, working at it can feel like it’s sinking you anyway, so why bother. But you have to, so you can be free.”

Bex felt both full and empty at the same time. There was too much inside and yet not enough. She knew there was pain and fear but she didn’t know how to grab onto it and push it away. She burrowed her face into Morgan’s lap. She was being selfish, she knew it-- Morgan was dealing with her own trauma, her own death, and here Bex was, unable to even comprehend the fact that she’d nearly die. She’d nearly died. She almost died, alone in an alley. Bled out from a chest wound. Her body stiffened and threatened panic again, but she forced her eyes shut and held her breath. “I don’t want to think about it at all,” she murmured, “I just want it to go away.” 

“Sshh…” Morgan saw the tension clench in Bex’s back and brought her other hand down to rub it gently, as if she could coax the muscles into giving Bex an easier time with her pain. “You can’t go back, sweetheart,” she said. “Can you tell me what you saw? Not the whole thing, just the image, or the feeling. What happened for you when things started to go wrong?”

“I don’t want to,” Bex protested, putting a hand over her eyes, squeezing tight. “I don’t want to talk about it. It makes me feel sick and like I can’t breath and like it’s happening all over again.” And it kept happening, over and over and over again. An infinite loop in her head reminding her of what almost happened, what could’ve happened, what did happen. She was afraid of so much, she didn’t want to be afraid of more. But she was. She was. “I don’t know how to make it stop. It starts and I see-- and I feel-- like it’s happening again. But it’s not, I know it’s not. So why does it feel like it is?” 

“Because you can’t release what you won’t look at or touch, Bex,” Morgan sighed. “You can’t put up your clothes or take out the trash without at least seeing what you’re doing somehow, right? Help me understand. What is that feeling? Or that sight?” She gave her a gentle squeeze. “It won’t take you, and it can’t hurt me. Your magic couldn’t hurt me even if it tried. We’re safe here, together. And I just want to understand, Bex. I suffered something similar, so I can guess what that panic was like, and how your thoughts might have raced, how everything hurt, and maybe you felt tired, but also like you couldn’t stop, not for anything. But I don’t know everything. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.” Slowly, she moved her hand on the girls’ back to thread with the one over her eyes. “Not everything, I wouldn’t ask that of you, especially now. Just a piece, if you feel like you can.”

“No,” Bex cried, but her eyes were dry, “no. I can’t. I don’t want to. I don’t want to make you-- I can’t be a burden to you. You’re already-- I don’t want to.” She squeezed Morgan’s hand back. She couldn’t string sentences together as they all raced too quickly through her head. “I want to be better. I can be better for you,” she said before she realized what she was really saying. “I can be good. I can. I don’t want to make things harder. I didn’t mean to.” Her mind was shutting down again, but she tried to fight against it. She didn’t want to go back to that place. It was dragging her down, like Morgan said, little hooks. Drowning in tar. “I don’t want to go back there.” 

“Hey--Bex, hey--” Morgan slid down until she was flat on the bed and Bex’s head was propped up on her shoulder. “Listen to me, Bexley. You do not have to be good. Not for me, not for anyone here. You do not have to work harder or be better. You do not have to be anything other than what you are. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You do not have to whip yourself with guilt, or shame. You do not have to be good, Bex. Can you look at me and say that? Because I don’t do anything I don’t want to. I will not ask you for something and then shame you for giving it to me. If I am trying to crawl down the pit, it’s because I want to. The kind of pit you’re in, the kind of dark that’s pulling on you, is so hard for people who haven’t been touched by death to understand. And I want to be with you in it. Whether you talk to me about it or not, I want to be with you. Do you understand? Am I making sense right now?”

Bex clung to Morgan like she’d previously clung to her pillow. Fingers dug into cloth. You do not have to be good. Her heart stammered and jumped into her throat. How was she supposed to believe that? She wanted to believe it. You do not have to be good, Bex. She drew in a breath and held it, until her heartbeat slowed and she exhaled, long and sharp. She nodded against Morgan’s shoulder. “Okay,” she managed to breath out, “okay.” She understood-- or, at least, she could try to understand. She couldn’t really understand, how to not be good for someone. How to not make sure she was good so she didn’t make things hard or worse or be a burden. She didn’t understand because her mother had never let her know there was any other option. She drew in another shaky breath. “I-I heard him, you know,” she said barely above a whisper, “i-in my head. When he was--” she swallowed, jaw tightening, killing me, “--attacking me. I heard him.”

Morgan wrapped Bex up as tight as she could without pressing into her bandages. “I love you, just as you are, Bex. Good or not. Maybe especially not.” Without thinking, she pressed a kiss to the top of her head and cradled her against her chest the way she had ached for her mother to cradle her when her bones felt like they were going to snap after a fresh panic attack. Then she listened. “Oh, Bex,” she whispered sadly. She grazed her fingers through her hair, imagining she could comb out the memory. “And you don’t want to tell him, do you? But it feels different, knowing what that sounds like, how much of him is gone. Oh, Bex-- do you still hear it when you talk to him, or was it only when you saw him?”

Bex needed not to hold so tightly onto those words. She knew Morgan meant them, but she also knew the more she accepted them, the harder it would be when the eventuality came and she had to leave this place. She didn’t want to leave. There was a sudden chill in the room, or maybe it was just in her body, and she began to shiver. “How could I tell him that? It would ruin him,” she murmured, shaking her head, “I can’t do that to him. I can’t.” She couldn’t. She’d hurt him enough. Her chest ached, inside and out. “When I heard his voice,” she answered quietly, “when I saw his eyes. They-- they were the same. His eyes were…” they flashed in her mind again, human to wolf and Bex seized up, squeezing her eyes shut, breathing increasing for a moment. “I didn’t know I’d-- I didn’t know. I didn’t know,” she repeated into Morgan’s chest, shaking her head. “I didn’t know.”

Morgan gave Bex another squeezed and hushed her tense body. “You’re safe with me,” she whispered. She tried to imagine what hearing the voice of your death would be like, and worse, to see that face in someone you wanted to be close to. “No, of course not. That wouldn’t be kind. But it’s not kind to carry that alone either.” She would never be able to explain it, even Morgan struggled, thinking of Constance in her terrible youth and anger. What had she said? Had she supervillain laughed? Had she gone on a moral tirade? Or pronounced Morgan guilty? She shivered, starting to feel sick herself. “I am so very sorry, Bex,” she said at last, still whispering so as not to scare the girl out of her openness. “No one knows when something like that is going to happen to them. Even if they go in knowing it’s dangerous, it’s different when it happens, when the world stops and what’s in front of you can’t be real but it is. And not being able to do anything about it, that’s not something people expect either. I never did tell you how proud I am of you using your magic to get me and Mina to you in time. I was a little wrapped up in being terrified, but you fought for you and Kyle. You’re the reason it wasn’t worse. I know that’s not very comforting right now, but maybe someday. You did so well, and your compassion for your friend in the middle of all that fear, is so incredible, sweetheart. But you don’t have to be incredible all the time. You’re not betraying him, if you let yourself feel how scared you were, if you let that be real. Kyle’s your friend, not his wolf. Not anytime soon, at least.”

“I don’t know where else to put it,” Bex whispered, “I don’t know who else-- I can’t let anyone carry this. I-- I can’t.” She burrowed further into Morgan, still shaking in her arms. The more they talked, the more Bex remembered. The more she saw it. The more she fell back into the tar. But the word proud-- proud, she could hardly believe it was a real word anymore-- echoed in her head and she could feel some of the tar peeling away from her. Hot tears pooled down her cheeks before she realized they were there. “I was so scared,” she whispered, laying completely still on Morgan now, staring towards her door as if she expected all the answers to carve themselves into the wood, “I thought I was...I was sure I was going to die.” It was the first time she’d admitted it, even if it was whispered quietly into a silent room. “I didn’t want to die.”

Morgan steadied Bex in her arms and breathed slowly. “You put it down. You let go. And you let me have a piece of it too. I’ve literally got superstrength,” she murmured. The familiarity of Bex’s words struck something inside her, a nerve so numb from pain and remembrance she didn’t feel much beyond recognition. She combed Bex’s hair and saw the scenes play out on the blank ceiling, her trauma and Bex’’s mixing together like two shades of paint. 

“I know, sweetheart,” she whispered. “I know. But you’re here. You’re here, and this wave will pass faster if you let it happen. Let go, Bex. I’ve got you. You’re safe to let go…” As much as she could, at least. Morgan thought she had shed a lot of her death over the last year, but as much as she pulled out her fear, her anguish, the desperate ache in her that still went I don’t want to die, there was always a little more. The root of the thing stayed buried inside her.

But how? How was she supposed to let go? She didn’t know. She didn’t know. Bex stilled in Morgan’s arms as she tried to take in what she was saying. As she tried to understand the familiarity in her voice. Morgan knew. Morgan had died and Morgan knew. Bex had been lucky. So lucky. She was here, she was alive. What if she’d died? Who would miss her? Who would cry for her? Would Morgan? Would Mina? Would Nell? 

Would her parents?

Bex drew in a deep breath. And then she let it go, and she let go as much as she could. It came out in quiet sobs muffled by Morgan’s shirt, and painful whispers of apologies and pleas. And when she had nothing left, she simply drew in a breath-- in for three-- and let it go-- out for five. She squeezed Morgan tighter. “Thank you,” she finally mumbled. She hadn’t cried properly since it happened. She hadn’t cried properly in ages. Her body felt tired, but no longer stiff. “For...carrying it with me.”

Morgan listened to Bex’s cries and let her memories swirl and moved her hands through the girl’s hair to keep herself grounded in this bed, this room, this safe little life she and Deirdre had scraped together. But as she listened, and resisted, and held steady, The seed of her death pulled on her, and she found herself crying silently too. When Bex had spent herself, Morgan wiped her eyes first, then Bex’s. “Anytime, sweetheart. My zombie strength is yours anytime.”

[dawninlatin]

Online classes are the worst

A manorian teacher AU

Words: 1381

AO3: Click here

Based on the prompt:

Teacher AU: When you realize Person A and Person B have the same background during zoom class and holy shit they are living together!?

By @perseannabeth​ (omg I hope you’re okay with me using this, if not please let me know!)

Manon was installed in her office - laptop open and an iced coffee next to her - currently giving a lecture in organic chemistry. She knew half of the class wasn’t paying attention. Knew that the muted microphones and turned-off cameras meant the student was scrolling down TikTok or sleeping or not even in the same room as their computer. But as long as she got through her lesson undisturbed, she didn’t care. It wasn’t her fucking problem if they didn’t want to learn. Organic chemistry was awesome.

Online classes was a challenge though. Manon needed to be in a physical classroom, needed to have a chalkboard to write on, needed to pace around, needed to do crazy and borderline dangerous experiments.

She had been a high school teacher for 6 years now, and she loved her job - most days, at least - but her students could never know that.

In those 6 years she had built herself a reputation of being the uncaring, cold and slightly manic science teacher. This was naturally because she had learned that the teens respected her if they were terrified of her. Nothing would beat the look of pure horror mixed with awe she had seen on the faces of twenty 16 year olds that one time she poured ethanol on her desk and then lit it on fire.

But now, instead of getting to do those kinds of experiments, she was confined to a small office in her small home, with nothing but a laptop to teach her students. It was driving her crazy.

Even if she preferred teaching in a physical classroom, Manon had to admit, she had gotten the hang of Zoom pretty quickly. They were only in their second week of online classes after all.

This lesson was going great, all things considered, at least until a message from Kyle Williams popped up on her screen. She couldn’t stop the look of horror on her face as she read it.

Kyle: Wait…isn’t that the same bookshelf Mr. Havilliard was sitting in front of yesterday?

Nora: OMG

Nora: It is!!!!!

Omar: Are they living together??

Manon tried ignoring the chat, tried continuing with her lecture, tried stopping the blush that was currently spreading on her face.

Kyle: Are they dating or something?

Ellen: I bet they’re sleeping together…

Ellen: Or what if they’re secretly married???

Freddie: Come on, can you imagine Ms. Blackbeak married to someone?

Kyle: And Mr. Havilliard of all people…

Theo: So they are sleeping together then?!

Nora: EW! I don’t wanna imagine them sleeping together…

She wanted to die. She had to quit her job, had to leave town, had to go away…she could never step foot in her classroom ever again…

Ellen: But now that you mention it, they always look at each other really weird

Theo: And they are staying in the same house atm…

Omar: What if they have kids?!

Freddie: Ms. Blackbeak does not have kids

Freddie: I have never even seen her smile, imagine her with Mr. Havilliard

Jenna: I’m freaking out over here…

Kyle: Omg, now I can’t stop imagining them having sex…

That was enough, she needed to end this before she died of humiliation. Then she needed to say goodbye to her loved ones, because she would be imprisoned for life for murdering a bunch of teenagers.

While closing the chat window - and ignoring the sound of countless more messages - she schooled her features back into a bored look. «Okay, that’s enough for today.»

The messages abruptly stopped, and Manon couldn’t help the smirk spreading on her face, beet read as it was. «I want you to spend the rest of the lesson reading through the chapter on organic chemistry, and then I want a 2000 word paper on a subject you find interesting in that chapter delivered to me by Monday.»

Writing a paper hadn’t been part of her plan, but she needed to do something to make her students suffer, if only to stop herself from committing murder.

Manon ended the meeting, not bothering with the groans and complaints coming from her students. She had to quit her job now, anyway…

She shut the laptop, pushed her chair back from the desk, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

«FUCK!»

-

Dorian was sitting at the kitchen table, grading book reports when he heard his girlfriend curse loudly, before marching across the hall and slamming the bedroom door shut. He silently counted to ten before standing up and following her.

Opening the door, he found that Manon was already lying under the cover, ignoring his presence. Dorian was curious to what had put her in such a mood - wasn’t she supposed to have a lecture right now? - but he knew his girlfriend, knew he needed to wait until she was ready to talk about whatever was wrong.

These past two weeks had been hard on them, but Manon especially. Not only because of the virus, he thought to himself. Dorian was doing okay, he didn’t mind staying inside, and he’d gotten a lot more time to read lately, but Manon wasn’t like him. She hated staying inside, hated sitting still. She might not admit it, but he knew the lockdown was challenging for her.

While slipping of his jacket, he padded over to their bed, laying down beside her. He gave her a few seconds to tell him to fuck off, before scooting closer and putting his arms around her when she stayed silent. She sighed at the contact, pulling the covers down slightly so he could see part of her face.

«Apparently, Kyle fucking Williams is in your English class, because during my science lecture today he noticed we use the same room.» Hearing the anger and annoyance in her voice, Dorian tried his best not to laugh, but as she gave him a deadly glare, he knew he had failed.

«Is it so bad? That they know, I mean.»

Manon groaned, burying her face in the covers once again. «I’m so embarrassed,» she said, her voice muffled.

Dorian let out a small chuckle, pulling her closer. Manon had been clear from the beginning of their relationship about how they couldn’t be seen together at work. He had been a little unsure of hiding it, but she had assured him that this was all about her, and all about her reputation at school, so Dorian respected her wishes. Manon wasn’t comfortable with displaying affection publicly in the same way that he was. She kept her feelings to herself, and those that were the closest to her. And Dorian had to admit, he kinda liked being the only one she truly opened up to. The only one who saw her smile and laugh and being giddy with love. It made him feel special. Even if he wanted to shout from the rooftops how much he loved Manon Blackbeak.

«It’s forgotten in a few weeks,» he said to her in an attempt to lure her out of her hiding spot.

«They’ll never listen to me again,» she complained, her head now peeking out.

Dorian pressed a light kiss to her forehead. «You’ll be just as awesome and just as scary as before, promise.»

She rolled her eyes in answer. «Why should I trust you?»

«Because you love me?» He poked her lightly in the side, now determined to make her smile.

Manon shook her head, murmuring something that sounded like «not in the slightest» into the thick blanket.

«You’re adorable right now, you know that?» Dorian teased, peppering her face with kisses. He expected her to bat his hand away, but she only leaned into his chest, sighing in defeat.

«You’re not making the situation any better right now…»

«You’ll be fine. Besides-,» he trailed his hands down her body, to her stomach, and the small bump that had begun to form, «they’ll definitely know in six months, cause we’ll have a baby then.»

Manon turned around so she faced him, a small smile finally playing on her lips. Dorian met her eyes, and found himself slightly taken aback by the amount of love and adoration he felt for this woman. «I love you,» he whispered against her lips.

«I love you too,» she whispered back, her mouth meeting his.

A/N: Hey!

I am sory for the mess that is this fic, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, I need sleep...

Also, I'm sorry for not writing a new chapter of Queen of Peace, but that chapter will take time, and time is something I do not have atm, sooooo, I will try and update it on Friday:)

If you bothered reading all of it, congrats, I stan<3

I love reading your comments, so feel free letting me know what you think:)

Also did anyone get the vine reference...? God I really should sleep...

*lots of smoochies*

-Dawninlatin<3

[bestillmyslashyheart]

"I'm not going anywhere" + Malex 💜

“There you are,” Liz greeted in a huff. She let the heavy door ease closed behind her. “Everyone’s at the Pony.”

Alex didn’t look away from his screen. “I heard.” His voice was even, but purposefully so. Like he was trying not to give anything away.

Liz dropped her bag on the table and dropped into the seat next to Alex. He still didn’t look at her, his eyes fixed on the monitor in front of him. “Come on,” she tugged lightly at his arm. “You need a break from all of this as much as any of us. Come to the Pony. Have a drink. Crush Kyle at pool.” Alex closed his eyes briefly before finally looking at her. 

“You go,” he urged. “Have fun.” He turned back to the computer. “I’m good here.”

“Alex,” Liz said, suddenly serious. “You’re not good here.” And he wasn’t. He’d been spending a lot more time in their new command center than anyone else and it showed. His normal glow was gone, his skin pale from lack of sunlight. There were bags under his eyes that spoke to the little sleep he managed to get. And he was withdrawn, from all of them except for Kyle. Oh he was always there when they needed him, always ready and willing to help get Max back, but other than that he was as much of a ghost as Rosa was without the excuse of being dead.

“Liz,” he sighed. “I’m fine. Go have fun with everyone.”

Liz huffed and spun his chair around. Alex winced when the sudden movement pulled at his leg. “Sorry!” She cried when she saw.

“It’s fine. Just sore.” He started to turn his chair back but Liz stopped it. 

“Talk to me,” she ordered.

“Liz-”

“You once called me out on being a crappy friend,” she reminded him. “You don’t get to ignore me when I’m trying to be a decent one.” Alex sighed, defeated. “Why won’t you come to the Pony?”

Alex rubbed at his eyes, his exhaustion starting to show. “Honestly? There’s only so much I can take.”

Liz furrowed her brow. “So much of what?”

Alex snorted. “The Michael and Maria show.” He shook his head and looked away from her. “He says we’re bad for each other and that he needs to move on, fine. I accept that. I want him to be happy. And I want Maria to be happy. But there’s really only so much of having to watch it that I can take and I am,” he paused, his lips quirking sadly, “I am so far past that limit it’s not even funny. So no, I am not going to the Pony. Not tonight. Probably not for a little while.”

Liz didn’t know what to say. She’d heard from Maria that Alex and Michael had a past together but she hadn’t really considered what that meant. And once Maria started dating Michael, she’d assumed everything was okay. “Alex...” she said softly. “I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t Maria tell you all about it?” He sounded bitter. Liz could understand that, recalling how tight lipped he’d always been about his love life. 

She sort of half shrugged. “She said he was your museum guy,” she explained. Alex looked away. “I sort of got the impression he was your Kyle.” His high school love. Someone he’d always have feelings for but nothing more than lingering memories mostly. 

“If we’re making comparisons, I’d say he’s my Max,” Alex admitted softly. He turned his chair back to face the monitors, summarily dismissing her and this conversation. Liz stared at his profile, at the weariness and the sadness etched into his features, and quickly made a decision. Without a word, she pushed up from her chair and walked back to where she’d left her bag. She fished her phone out and called Maria.

“Hey,” she greeted warmly. “I’m not going to make it to the Pony tonight.” Alex’s head snapped up and he turned to look at her with wide eyes. “I’ll text you tomorrow?” Maria agreed and Liz hung up the phone.

“What?” Alex asked, confused. Liz felt a pang at the realization that Alex had truly expected her to leave him here alone.

“What?” She shot back. Alex only stared at her as she rooted out Michael’s emergency bottle of whiskey.

“He cuts that with acetone,” Alex warned when she pulled it out. Liz looked from him to the bottle and back.

“Really?”

Alex shrugged. “I threw out the first three,” he told her. “But after a while I figured it was just a waste. And he doesn’t have the money to throw away on booze just for me to toss it in the trash.” He barely reacted to her look of wonder. She hadn’t really had the time or energy to consider Michael’s bad habits. Apparently, Alex had. He pushed away from the desk and rolled his chair over to a small cabinet at the end of the long table they’d set up. From the bottom drawer he pulled out a bottle of tequila. “Will this do?” He held it up.

Liz smiled and nodded before putting Michael’s whiskey back where she’d found it.

“You know,” Alex muttered as he slid her the bottle. “You really don’t need to stay here. I’m sure the Pony’s a lot more fun.”

Liz unscrewed the cap. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

[captainsassmanes]

48. “Why are you crying?” malex ❤️

Alex was a terrible fucking actor. Leaning against his Jeep with his head tilted toward the stars and a wetness on his cheeks, he cursed himself for ever coming.

No one seemed to really understand what he was going through. Or maybe it was just easier for everyone to ignore it. Since Michael was dating Maria and Alex had his few, truthfully pleasant, weeks with Forrest, the group has decided it was time to bond, spend more time together.

Alex had managed to come up with a good set of excuses to get out of most gatherings; movie nights, drinks, the Crashdown, even a weekend trip that Alex would have rather removed his own fingernails then suffer through.

But he ran out of excuses and his friends ran out of patience.

So he talked himself into going to the Pony, repeating his mantra “it won’t be that bad,” over and over again on the way.

As soon as he walked through the door, he realized his mistake.

From across the room, his friends looked like a group, like they belonged together. All smiles and arms thrown carelessly around one another. He was greeted with smiles and hugs and laughs but he knew they were forced to create a place for him, completely inorganic, so unlike the way it was for everyone else.

He gave Michael and Maria a tight smile, desperate to ignore Michael’s arm holding her close and the bile that rose in his throat. They both looked good, beautiful even. They fit well.

Everyone did.

It was once everyone started on round 3, loud laughter with open displays of affection, that Alex felt himself getting lost and fuzzy and decided to get some air.

It was a bit cool, each exhale releasing a small cloud in front of his face, but it felt good. He’d been too warm inside, face constantly flushed and hands clammy from clenched fists all evening.

Alex figured he’d been outside regrouping for fifteen minutes, maybe longer, no one seeming to notice. He bit his lip as another tear fell. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so alone and unwanted.

“Why are you crying?”

Alex lifted his hands to his face, wiping away the tears, and sniffed. He shook his head and shrugged, feeling Michael move beside him.

“I’m fine.”

A small, disbelieving sound left Michael’s mouth as he copied Alex, looking to the stars.

“Do you think,” Alex paused to regain control of his voice, admitting defeat to his tears. “Do you think there’s a universe out there where you love me?”

Michael stood straight and looked at Alex who felt brave enough to meet his eye. Michael looked surprised, mouth moving but no sound escaping.

Alex offered him a small smile, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you’ve found your home, Michael. You deserve it. You deserve it all.”

With a sniff, he pushed himself off the bumper and headed to the driver’s side.

“Alex. You know I...”

“Don’t. I’m not sure what you were gonna say but, please, don’t.”

He rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes and willing himself to do the right thing.

“You have never looked happier than you did in there. You’ve got your friends and your siblings and the best girlfriend you could ever hope for. Just, enjoy it.”

Alex climbed in and turned the key, turning his focus to his luggage and wondering if Kyle had a spare key to the cabin or not.

A small tap on the window grabbed his attention, Michael standing there, eyes brimming with tears.

With a sigh, Alex rolled his window down, face turned straight ahead, foot primed on the accelerator.

“Don’t go away.”

His grip on the steering wheel grew tighter.

“Alex?”

He shook his head and looked at Michael, memorizing every feature, every expression he could.

“I’m so glad you’re happy, but I can’t watch Maria have the life I wish I had. I just can’t.”

He pressed on the gas and moved forward, determined to not look back.

[spaceskam]

hear me out

Summary: Alex has a list of things to say.

ao3

Two months into sleeping alone every night, Michael was woken up to persistent knocking on his door.

His phone said it wasn't even 8 AM, so he figured whoever it was must've had a serious reason to be there. He managed to drag himself up and to the door, rubbing his eye all the while only to be extremely confused by the person there.

"Alex?"

"I'm talking, you're listening," the Airman insisted, pushing into the airstream with a notebook in hand. He still had serious bedhead and was in his pjs, but his face was hardened and ready to combat whatever enemy he'd decided was there.

"Huh?" Michael asked, turning with confusion on his face.

"Shut up and listen," Alex dictated. Michael raised his hands in tired defeat, falling back to his bed. "I realized almost all of our fuck ups trail back to you not waiting for me to come up with an answer or you completely misunderstanding something I say because I try to make you understand, but I fail. So I'm going through all the points I could remember and we're going to fix this shit. You can talk when I'm done."

He was so determined and who was Michael to say no? Not that he even wanted to.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Shush."

Michael stifled a laugh, smiling up towards Alex as he opened his little notebook. He took a deep breath in preparation.

"When we were 11 and you had been in Roswell for, like, two weeks, you asked if I wanted to be your partner for a social studies project and I hesitated to look at Kyle to see if he wanted to be my partner, but you took that as a complete rejection and you walked away before I could even answer. I had to be partners with Carla St. Pierre who had a big crush on me and didn't take no as an answer, so I ignored you for two years."

"Oh, we're going that far back?"

"Michael."

"Sorry."

Alex huffed an adorably annoyed breath, shaking off the distraction. He honestly looked adorable in general. If he wasn't so deadset, Michael might've asked him to cuddle until he was more awake.

"In 10th grade, I asked if you wanted me to wash your gym clothes for you and you thought I was insulting you, but I was just offering to clean them without further questions.

"Before my first tour, you asked if I wanted to go get Taco Bell late one night and I took too long to respond, so you thought I meant no, when really I just was unsure if we'd be able to go without someone seeing us and I was worried for your safety, but you took the offer back before I could say that.

"After my first tour when we did go to Taco Bell at midnight together, you ordered for me because I took too long to decide and while it was really good food, I would've liked to make my own decision which is why you didn't get laid that night."

And it went on and on and on and Michael was beginning to feel like they were horrible for each other. How did he manage to mess things up between them that often in the time they'd known each other? It was insane. Alex had shown up with a promise to work it out, but how could they work out a problem that started from their very first conversation?

This was clearly the end of all ending. A giant message of every goddamn time he'd hurt him before never getting to touch him or his soft pjs ever again.

"And, most importantly, when I came to you and said I wanted to be friends, I meant that I wanted to get to know you, to start over away from all the pain and to make sure all this love I have for you makes sense and it isn't just some nostalgic teenage dream. I wanted to be friends and then together because friends make the best relationships. You thought I meant just friends. Why in god's name would I ever want to be just friends with you? Do you know how hard it is to just be in your space without smothering you with my face? I need all of you or I can't have any of you at all, that's how it has to be," Alex said, taking a heavy breath as he finished his 30 minute, thought out list.

Michael’s eyes were trained on the floor before him, his eyebrows tugged together in something akin to anger. Alex literally just came and busted into his house before eight in the morning to throw every single mistake he’d ever made into his face? He couldn’t have waited until he was a little less sober? He didn’t realize how quickly he could go from being excited about their future to completely empty. It hurt more than he could even put into words.

“Okay,” Alex said softly, kicking Michael’s shin, “Talk.”

Michael sniffled and tried to school his face a bit before he looked up at Alex. The moment he took in how cute he looked all over again, his bottom lip started quivering. He shrugged.

“So, what, tearing me apart at the Pony two months ago wasn’t enough?” Michael asked, watching Alex’s face become overwhelmed with confusion, “You had to come here and give me a written list of all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together? And to say it like it was going to be something positive... Fuck, you must really hate me.”

Alex stood there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth over and over. Michael thought about saying something else, but he had just listened to thirty minutes of all the times he hadn’t given Alex enough time to find his words, so he wasn’t about to make that same mistake again. They sat in silence for a while.

“Guerin... Guerin, what the fuck?” Alex asked, shaking his head as he threw the notebook down, “What is wrong with you? I-I just, I literally just came in here and told you I wanted to work it out with you! I literally just said you misunderstand me and you immediately misunderstood that! I wrote it down specifically so you wouldn’t understand me! What do you want from me?! I’m trying here! Fucking meet me halfway!”

Michael rubbed his hands over his face as he tried to mesh together what he was hearing and what Alex had just spent 30 minutes saying. How could listing all the ways they were wrong mean that he thought they were right?

“Alex... Even if you meant that, you just pointed out that I have been making you miserable from the first time we spoke. I have been fucking you over for nearly two decades. How could you want to be with me when you know that?” Michael said. He couldn’t hide the defeat in his voice. All he wanted was Alex, but it was clear that they were bad for each other.

“Oh my god,” Alex said, looking up to the roof with glistening eyes that made Michael have even more regrets. He was still hurting him. “What don’t you get, Guerin? What can I say to make you get it? Yeah, maybe we struggle to communicate and we should work on that, but you don’t make me miserable. For the last ten or so years, you’ve made me happier than anything else. When I get over myself and ignore everyone except for you, I am happy. You make me feel free and loved and safe and everything I have been denied my entire life. You are my everything and I want so badly to love you and be with you every goddamn minute of the day, but you won’t let me! You won’t accept it! I’m putting myself on the line for you and you’re fucking rejecting me! I don’t understand how a man who is so unbelievably intelligent could be so fucking stupid! Why can’t you just let me love you?!”

“Alex...” Michael groaned, feeling even more pain than before. This was too much.

“No! I’m still fucking talking!” Alex snapped, moving in closer. He jabbed a finger into Michael’s chest, glaring with all the feelings that he’d been forcing himself to bury for however many years. “I don’t give a shit if we shouldn’t work, I love you and I want you and I know you love me and I know you want this to work. I know you do.”

“Of course I do,” Michael admitted easily. Because it was easy. While his relationship with Alex had never been so easy, admitting he wanted Alex was never difficult. “But-”

“No. No buts. All we need is for both of us to put in the effort, that’s it,” Alex whispered, moving forward to place his forehead on Michael’s. Michael pulled him in closer, urging him to sit on his lap no matter how awkward the position might’ve been in the small space. He wanted him closer. “I spent all night filling up half a notebook on just you. You can’t reject me after that, that’s just mean.”

“I’m not rejecting you,” Michael said, a soft smile finding his lips. Even if he was just being yelled at, having Alex this close was enough to make him relax. “I thought you were rejecting me.”

“You need therapy, Guerin,” Alex grumbled, slowly slumping to tuck his head into the crook of Michael’s neck. Michael snorted a laugh, wrapping his arms around him in a warm hug.

“You do too.”

“We can go together,” Alex suggested, “Couples therapy would be super helpful.”

Michael thought about it for a moment, letting his hands slide over the soft fabric that covered Alex’s thighs.  The main thing keeping him from doing therapy (aside from the cost, of course) had been the alien ordeal. They would have to discuss how they could avoid talking about that. But... if Alex was that desperate to make them work, then Michael was too.

“Okay. Let’s do that. If it means getting you, then... Shit, I’ll do anything,” Michael admitted, his voice soft. Alex nodded and gave him a squeeze that had him smiling even wider.

Eventually, he let Alex go, but only long enough for him to take off the prosthetic so they could crawl into bed. Alex cuddled up close, not like he had much of a choice with the airstream’s bed, and was out like a light. Apparently staying up all night pouring out your feelings was very draining.

Michael was able to go back to sleep too, finally ending his two months streak of a cold bed.

[alexanderlightweight]

Home is You

This is for @alexmanesairstream! Thank you for the prompts, I sort of muddled them both together and then it got a little away from me!  Hope you enjoy it!

Michael was fraught with tension and he scowled at his beer bottle, knowing from the mental buzz that sparked like static electrify across his brain that Isobel was fast losing her patience.

“Look, Michael if it’s making you this worked up just go see him.”

“He clearly doesn’t want to see me.  Do you think it’s payback?”  Michael asked and ran his hands through his hair, trying not to think of all the worst case scenarios and failing.

“What I think clearly doesn’t matter,” Isobel said.  “Seeing as I keep on telling you to just go over to his place and talk to him in person.”

“We’ve been talking.  Talking is all we’ve been doing for a couple months now.  This was supposed to be the first step.  Sort of like a date.”  It felt odd to admit, but it was something that had been building for months.  A relationship built on trust and respect and not just desire.  It was supposed to be the beginning of a relationship that Michael had been craving for over a decade.  It was just like life to give him a taste of what he could have, then rip it away.

If this was Alex once again walking away from him, Michael was going to break and it was going to be explosive.  

“Sort of like a date?”  Isobel asked with little sympathy and then she scoffed, “if it’s only sort of a date then what does it even matter?”

If Michael had just a little less control, then the glass in the room would have shattered.  As it was, her wine glass gave a delicate little hum of warning and Isobel winced before setting the glass down.  “Sorry.  Look, Michael you have to figure this out.  Don’t let this be another misunderstanding or accident.  I realize you’re scared,” he shot her a glare that didn’t even phase her.  “But you both being scared is part of what made this take so long to get here.  Granted you both had different reasons for dragging your feet, but at some point you both need to stop making the same mistakes.”  

“If you’re wrong,” Michael warned, unable to finish voicing what he feared the most.

Isobel rolled her eyes and gave him a tiny mental push, “go Michael.  You don’t want to know what I’m planning if you two don’t manage to work this out by Monday.”  

Michael conceded defeat gracefully -with a grumble and the overexaggerated drag of his boots against Isobel’s floor.

-

Michael hadn’t been to Alex’s cabin very often.  The times he had been there, Valenti or someone else had also been present.  It was both exhilarating and neausiating to be approaching what he knew was Alex’s home and sanctuary by himself.  He wanted this to work.  More than anything, he wanted their relationship to be feasible and healthy and something that wouldn’t shatter as easily as bone.  Max may have been able to heal physical wounds and Isobel could root out mental and emotional ones, but not one out of their motley family could heal him if tonight went wrong.

Of course, it went wrong.

The first thing Michael noticed was that the cabin was lit and smoke was coming from the chimney.  It had been cooling down at night, but Alex would never have a fire going if he’d actually planned on meeting Michael for dinner like he’d promised.  Turning to corner to park and seeing Valenti’s car only made caused his mood to darken and agitation to churn in his stomach.  

From an intellectual point of view, Michael understood that what Alex and Valenti were working on was important, he also knew that a part -though not all- of Alex’s dedication to what was a rather thankless task, was because of him.  From an emotional standpoint, Michael wasn’t so understanding.  Especially if Alex’s reason for standing him up was because he was working with Valenti.  That shit wasn’t acceptable.  

It was with wild energy coursing through him that he unlocked Alex’s door with his powers, barely noticing that the door made a solid thunk as it opened.  The inside of the cabin was surprisingly dark, the only light besides the fireplace was a flickering lamp in the kitchen.

What did surprise him was a loud curse and then the sound of something being knocked over and then a quieter curse.  Valenti stumbled out from Alex’s bedroom looking like he hadn’t slept in days and his shirt soaked, an empty glass in one hand.

“Geurin?”  Valenti asked with what was clearly genuine surprise, “shit sorry.  I must have fallen asleep.  What are you doing here?”

“Trying to figure out where my errant date was,” Michael drawled, “just what kind of shit did you two find this time?”

Valenti blinked twice and then held up a hand, “give me a second before the interrogation, Guerin.  Actually, let me ask a couple questions first.  What time is it?”

“Past ten,” Michael said and watched as Valenti made his way with ease to the kitchen, grabbing a pot of what was clearly cold coffee and filling the glass in his hand.  The doctor didn’t even hesitate to down it before he rinsed it out and filled it with water that he slipped much more slowly.  

“Right, so I’ve been here... shit.  I got here yesterday, to go over something with Alex.  You said you had a date tonight?”  

“He didn’t mention it?”

“He’s ah...” Valenti sighed, “look I need you to trust me as a doctor okay?”  Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest and shifted his weight.  “Right.  Don’t even know why I thought that might work.  I got here yesterday and Alex was a little under the weather.  I convinced him to rest a little bit and he felt bad enough to agree, only when he woke up again his fever was pretty bad.  He’s not holding down medicine or fluids and his fever is high enough that he’s not making any sense.  He mentioned sending you a message and I gave him his phone, but it’s possible he forgot to send it.”  Valenti paused and took another sip of water, “or even type it out.  Like I said, he’s pretty out of it.”

“He’s sick?  Do we need to get him to a hospital?”  Michael asked, immediately alert despite the fact that he hated hospitals.  He hadn’t been around a human he cared about long enough to be there when they were sick.  He would have been, if it were for Alex, but they’d never had that opportunity.  

“I’d really rather not move him.  I gave him an IV earlier to get some fluids in him and he’s been doing better since then.  Honestly, he just needs rest and someone to look after him and help him out.”  Valenti said and he fixed Michael with a very serious look, “I have to get back to my apartment to rest at some point though.  If he’s not doing better I’ll probably have to take him with me and then to the hospital anyway, I can’t leave him here alone like this.”

“I can stay with him.”  The words were out of his mouth before Michael’s brain had finished registering Valenti’s words but he meant them.

“Guerin,” there was a pause, “you and Max and Isobel don’t get sick.  Alex is, he’s going to need a lot of looking after and a lot of help.”  

Valenti gave him and look that Michael didn’t even try to discern, he just shook his head stubbornly, “I can take care of him.”  

-

The list of things to track about Alex’s condition was long but not overly complicated.  The most important thing was to monitor his temperature and keep track of his fluid intake.  Valenti had been very clear that if anything got worse that Michael was to call him immediately, for once Michael didn’t argue.

Alex’s body was flush with heat, his face too pallid and hair soaked with sweat.  His eyes were glazed over with fever and when he met Michael’s gaze there was little recognition for a few minutes.  Then he seemed to collect himself enough to offer a small smile before he buried himself back into his pillow.

-

Taking care of Alex seemed to mostly be entertaining himself while Alex slept.  Michael hadn’t been sure what to do with himself at first; heating broth that Alex couldn’t quite hold down and texting both Valenti and Isobel updates on how Alex was doing.  She’d offered to come over but he’d been firm in telling her that wasn’t necessary.  Now he found himself pressed against Alex’s side, using his tablet for research and waking Alex up when he felt the other man needed it.  They hadn’t talked much, Alex being either too exhausted or too sick to have a serious conversation.

It took a week for Alex to get back on some semblance of a meal plan.  His body rejected most solid foods and Michael knew it was driving him crazy.  It should have been driving them both crazy but Michael, Michael found a strange sense of peace in looking after Alex.  In the fact that Alex was letting him instead of fighting to do everything himself.  

Michael had only left the cabin twice and that was to grab some of his things and make sure the bunker was sealed tight.

Taking care of Alex while he was sick was one of the most intimate things Michael had ever experienced.  Alex was stubborn and proud but even he knew when to lean on someone else and the fact that he hadn’t insisted Michael leave, hadn’t asked for someone else to see him like this.  It made something in Michael hum and settle happily in his chest, his entropy evening out as though Alex’s breathing and heartbeat were a song that soothed his mind.

It was like they were in their own little world.  Valenti had been called to a nearby hospital for an emergency and since Michael wasn’t sure exactly how Alex felt about anyone else at the moment, he didn’t bother letting anyone besides Isobel knowing what was going on.  

-

“So all it took for you to get along with Kyle was me getting sick?”  Alex teased him, cheeks finally showing some color that wasn’t from a fever and Michael rolled his eyes while using his powers to tuck the blanket around Alex.  

“I can tolerate Valenti when he’s useful, if I have to.”  Michael admitted sourly, “this isn’t going to become a common thing, Alex.  I wasn’t going to risk you dying or something and he’s the expert on human illnesses.”

“So what you’re saying,” Alex drawled with a glint of mischief in his eyes that made Michael wary, “is that Kyle has a better understanding of my anatomy than you?”  

“Alex,” Michael said warningly and was greeted with a smirk, “sometimes I wonder if you want me to break his face.”

“Sorry.”  He didn’t sound sorry at all, “but you kind of set yourself up for that one.”  When all Michael did was glower at him, Alex chuckled and reached out a hand to him.  “Thank you for trying to work with him.”

-

Taking care of Alex when he was incoherent and mumbling unintelligible things and barely able to hold a cup without spilling on himself was the easy part.  Taking care of a bed-ridden but coherent Alec was a trial in patience and a test in cunning.

“Guerin, no.”  

“What happened to Michael?”

“Michael is reserved for when you’re not holding a very sharp razor.”  Alex replied and gave the blade a very wary look.  “I’m fine waiting to shave.”

“You’ve been complaining about how being sweaty and not being able to shave is making you feel gross.  I can help with that.”  Michael sat down next to Alex and put the razor back on the tray of grooming supplies he’d gathered.

“I haven’t seen you clean shaven since we were kids.”  Alex raised a brow and looked at him challengingly, “you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“You’ll find I’ve only perfected my technique over the years.”  Michael said and grinned smugly before letting his mouth soften into a much gentler smile.  He raised his hand slowly and cupped Alex’s jaw, “I can tell it’s bothering you sweetheart, if you can, trust me with this.  Okay?”  He made sure his voice and his grip were tender, no demands.  If Alex decided he didn’t want this, Michael would respect that.  Alex watched him, brown eyes dark and gorgeous, brow furrowed in a way that made Michael want to soothe away all of his exhaustion.  

“Alright,” Alex said, pressing his cheek into Michael’s palm.  “I’d appreciate it then.  And Michael,” Alex paused, “I do trust you.  

Michael’s breath caught in his chest and he bit back the biting humor that defensively came to mind.  Even after all this time spent with Alex, there was a lingering fear that nipped at his heels and hid in the shadows of his brain.  

“Let’s put it to the test then, Private.”

-

Alex held himself still.  The moment, the act of Michael shaving him felt fragile.  It was his skin that a blade was pressed against, but he felt as though he were a sniper with Michael in his sights.  

Michael’s hands were calloused and warm, gentle but firm on his face, moving Alex where he needed to go.  The blade a steady and soft pressure.  Each slide of it against his face came with a strange pressure before it disappeared.  Soon enough he realized that Michael was using his powers to delicately maneuver the razor so that Alex was completely safe from even the tiniest and most accidental of cuts.  That devoted attention -on top of Michael’s dedication while he was sick- nearly broke Alex’s already cracked heart.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t think I’ve said that yet.”  He finally murmured, trying not to startle Michael.

“Alex, not right now.”  Michael said and gave him a stern look, “let me finish this.  I’m almost done.”  

Alex waited until he’d lifted the razor away to wipe it clean and then reached up, tangled his fingers with the hand Michael still had on his jaw.  Tilting his head he pressed a kiss to the now unscarred skin of Michael’s left hand, “you just keep on taking care of me.  I didn’t get to tell you how much I was looking forward to dinner.  To a real date, with you.”  

Michael gave a slow shuddering breath and clenched his eyes shut for a long moment, fingers tightening on Alex’s.  “Alex, why do you... you.  Fuck, you have the absolute worst timing for everything don’t you?”  Michael opened his eyes and Alex swallowed, already having forgotten what he meant to say in reply.  Michael’s eyes were fierce and burning and Alex felt consumed by the intensity.  

“Every time I try to wait for the right time, I hurt us both.  I don’t want to, I can’t keep doing that.  Eventually, I’ll be too late again.  Waiting for you was , Michael.  I don’t want to push you away again, just because I can’t figure out when or how to tell you what I feel or what I want.”  Alex kept his gaze locked on Michael’s.  “So, because I think I need to make it clear.  I wanted that date with you.  I knew what I was going to wear.  I wanted that night to end with a decision.”  

“And what decision would that be?”  Michael asked, voice hoarse but gaze no less relentless.  

“That no matter what, I’ll be there for you.  You’re my family, Michael.”  Michael’s gaze dimmed a little and Alex quickly continued, “but that’s not all I want you to be.  I wanted to tell you at dinner that I wanted more. That I want a relationship with you.  That I still love you.  I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Michael didn’t let him add anything else, just half lunged forward and Alex was dimly aware of the tray hitting the wall.  Pushed out of the way by Michael’s powers and then he was lost.  Pulled away from reality until his world began and ended with the press of Michael’s lips on his own.  Fingers sliding through his hair and tangling with the messy strands and hushed words of “I want that.  I want you,” pressed between gasps of air against his lips.  

He didn’t know how much time had passed before they parted.  Michael pressing one last kiss against his lips before pressing tiny, softer kisses against his cheeks and neck.

It took a long moment for Alex to come down from that euphoria, he was dizzy from the exertion of their kiss and he could do little more than rest a hand on Michael’s head.  By the time Michael stopped lavishing him with affection, Alex was waning and his eyes fluttering in a desperate attempt to stay awake.  

“If that’s all it took to wear you out, then we’re going to need to work on your stamina darling.”  Michael’s teasing was gentle and Alex gave a tired scoff in response.  Whatever energy he’d gained that day was gone and he just wanted to fall asleep with Michael’s comforting heat and weight against him.  “Alex, Alex stay awake just a little longer.”  Alex struggled to open his eyes and was rewarded with a soft, “there we go.  I meant it when I said you have the worst timing, let me just finish this and you can sleep.”  

Michael’s voice, his hands, the words he was speaking and even the scrape of metal from the razor all seemed twined together in something deeply comforting.  

-

Michael stretched out, tearing off his shirt as he headed to the Airstreams shower.  It had been a long but successful day and he was pleased with the amount of work he’d gotten done.  It had been a few months since Alex had missed their date and somehow, during the two weeks that he’d taken off, everyone had decided to have problems that had to be fixed.  While he couldn’t complain about the steady work, it did bite into his time spent both with Alex and in his bunker.  Of the two, Alex was his priority, but he did miss time spent discovering and learning more about who he was and where he was from.  The piece of his ship that Jim Valenti had left Alex, stayed in the bunker under the cabin, a place that Alex and he had been converting to both a lab and a more functional safehouse.  

Done with his shower, Michael went to grab new clothes and then cursed.  He’d been doing laundry at the cabin and apparently, he’d been forgetting to bring it back with him.  Deciding that if anyone pulled him over they could just deal with it, he put on his dusty and grease smeared jeans and forewent a shirt.  It wasn’t until he went to grab the rest of his dirty laundry that he really looked around the Airstream and he paused, taking in something that should have been obvious.

The Airstream was practically empty.

Oh it still held pieces of him.  It was still very clearly somewhere he had lived, but the longer he looked around the more he realized he didn’t live there anymore.  Somehow, in the days, weeks and now months of being with Alex, he’d only slept at the Airstream when he was too tired to drive home.  Or on the rare occasions when they were in town and he convinced Alex that it was faster to just stop at the Airstream instead of driving to the cabin.  

Michael drove on the side of too fast as he headed back to the cabin.  Alex was in the backyard, his laughter ringing through the air like a siren call when he arrived and Michael followed it.  The beagle pup they’d rescued was darting around, valiantly attempting to chase a soccer ball that outsized her.  Alex turned and smiled at him, looking healthier and happier than ever and Michael understood now what Alex had meant about feeling seventeen again.  Except they weren’t, they were better now.  Stronger, able to take care of each other and he knew that neither of them would ever look away again.  

“Too hot to put a shirt on, Cowboy?”  Alex asked as he met him for a kiss.

“More like I forgot that all my clothes were here,” Michael said evenly and he could feel Alex tensing under his hands, “I’ll have to remember to take some spares over tomorrow.”  

“Just some spares?”  Alex asked, voice tinged with hopefulness that let Michael know they were both on the same page.

“My home’s here,” Michael said and he put his left hand on Alex’s chest, right over his heart.  Alex was the music he needed to survive this planet, to survive the universe.  Whether that was here, in a little cabin in Roswell or on a ship set to explore the universe.  So long as he had Alex, his mind was quiet and life was worth it.