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stop-talking · 7 months

Text

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (pt. 1)

Mike Schmidt x fem reader

2.5k words

Tags: 18+, mike x reader, no use of y/n, exes, enemies, enemies to lovers, slowburn? sassy mike, sassy reader, pet names, banter, angst, so much angst, flashing mike, fluff, spending time with Abby (because everyone always forgets her??)

Part 2

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Mike holds his breath as the phone rings. He's already gone down the mental checklist of people who he could possibly call for help right now, and is currently scraping the bottom of the goddamn barrel.

*click* "Hello?"

He speaks hurriedly into the dingy landline phone, praying you won't immediately dismiss him.

"Hey, it's Mike. Please don't hang up."

You're tempted to hang up on him then and there, just to prove a point. You guys broke up nearly a year ago, and hadn't spoken in... what, six months now? But the tone in his voice... he sounded desperate.

"What, drunk and lonely again?" You scoff, unable to resist taking a jab at him. You two hadn't exactly ended things on good terms, his lack-of-sleep induced grumpiness and general unpleasant disposition making it hard for him to take criticism without it turning into an argument. It wasn't your fault he never made time for you. It wasn't your fault he was so emotionally unavailable.

"No." He grits his teeth, already regretting calling you. "I need a favor. Please." He chokes the word out, his stomach in knots from having to resort to this.

You pause for a few moments, chewing on his words. It must really be serious if he'd called you, after all the things you'd said to him last time you spoke.

"Well... lets hear it, then."

"I need you to watch Abby tonight. My usual babysitter isn't answering the damn phone, and I have to leave for work in an hour. I can't leave Abby home alone. I just can't."

In an hour? You glance at the clock, it's already 8:30. What ungodly hours is he working?

"I thought you didn't work nights? I swear to god, Schmidt, if you're making me watch her so you can go get laid-"

"No. Nothing like that. I swear." He sighs, sounding genuinely exhausted. "I'm working as a security guard these days. Night gig. Long story. It sucks ass, but I need this job. Can you watch Abby? I'll owe you one."

You bite back the urge to scoff at him. He's not even going to pay you? Figures. Oh well. Holding a favor over his head might be fun.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll see. What time will you get back? I have work in the morning."

"6:15. Maybe 6:10, if I drive like a maniac."

"Shit. I'll have to get ready for work at your place. If I go home first I'll be late."

"Yeah, sure. Anything. Just please stay with Abby. She goes to sleep at 10, you can crash on the couch. I just want someone in the house with her."

You let out an audible sigh. Are you seriously going to go crash on your shitty ex-boyfriend's shitty couch on a work night?

...Yeah, yeah you are.

"Damn it, Mike. You'd better kiss my fucking feet when I get there."

Mike almost laughs at that. Almost.

"Sure thing, Princess." He cant help but taunt you a bit, using an old pet name he used to call you way back when you were dating. It probably wasn't the best decision to irritate the last person he could rely on, but he wasn't in the right headspace to make good decisions right now. These days, he mostly runs off of coffee and self-hatred.

"I'll be there in 30. You'd better be on your knees and groveling when you open the door." You slam the phone down before he can answer. Michael fucking Schmidt. Still the same jackass you broke up with all those months ago.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

When Mike opens the door to greet you almost exactly 30 minutes later, he reluctantly drops to his knees. He'd hoped you'd forgotten the silly request, but the unamused look you gave him said otherwise.

"Fucking witch." He grumbles, hanging his head as you brush past him into the house. Were you wearing... pajama pants? He stares at you as you set down your things, a purse and what looks like an overnight bag of some sort.

"Stop gaping. And stand up. You look pathetic." You shrug off your coat, revealing an old t-shirt underneath. Yeah, you were in pajamas, so what? Its late. And you couldn't be bothered to put in extra effort for Mike, of all people.

"Excuse me for doing as her majesty commands." He groans and stands up, brushing himself off. As if that'll make him look any more presentable.

Abby tentatively pokes her head out of her room, watching you and Mike argue. Shit. Did she hear all that?

"Hey Abbs." You wave to her, deciding to ignore Mike's comment. "It's gonna be just me and you tonight, sound good?"

She looks to Mike for approval, who nods and gives her a tired smile. The only kind of smile he's been able to muster lately.

"...Will you play with me?"

"Yeah, 'course I will. Let me have a chat with your brother real quick." She seems to accept that answer, closing herself back off in her room. You sigh and follow Mike into the kitchen.

"There's leftovers in the fridge, and a lasagna in the freezer. Probably have something edible in the pantry. I think there's popcorn." He explains, pointing out a few different measly options for a quick meal. "Look, she probably won't, but just try and get her to eat dinner."

You watch him lean back against the counter and rub at his temples. God damn, he looks... exhausted. His hair has grown out a bit since you last saw him, dark brown curls hanging low over his forehead. His eye bags seem to hang even lower.

"Yeah... I'll try and get her to eat."

An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air as you both run out of things to talk about, so he fills the void with an insult.

"You really had to come over in that?" Mike scoffs and gestures at your frumpy t-shirt and pajama pants.

"What? Were you hoping for something slutty?" You cross your arms and give him a smug look.

He turns his head, unsure what to say to that. Maybe part of him did hope to see you dressed in something a little more revealing. Or maybe just undressed. God damn it, was he blushing?

"Fuck you." He mutters, making his way to the entryway and slipping his shoes on.

"No thanks. Been there, done that." You respond dismissively, watching him leave with a smirk.

Mike slams the door on his way out. Not hard enough to startle Abby, hopefully, but hard enough to make a point he's not in the mood to play your little games. Still, the whole drive to work, he can't help but wonder what if...? What if you had never broken up with him? What if he had been a better boyfriend? A better provider for you and Abby? A better man?

"I fucking hate her." He grumbles, but the words are hollow.

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"Mike told me you stopped coming over because he found out you're a witch and you curse children. Is that true?" Abby finally musters up the courage to ask the question that's been on her mind ever since you walked through the door.

"Did he say that?" You chuckle, a little shocked that this is what she chose to ask after ten minutes or so of silently coloring together.

"Yeah. He said you cursed him, too. And that's why he can't color anymore. He'll explode, or something." She babbles, not looking up from her paper.

"Hmm... well, if you're really worried about your brother, I'll cut you a deal." You do your best to keep the anger from your tone as you continue to color beside her at the table. That asshole doesn't color with Abby anymore?

"...What kind of deal?"

"I'll lift the curse on your brother so he can color and draw again... but you have to eat dinner. Ten whole bites."

Abby seems to consider this for a moment, turning and eyeing you suspiciously. Mike likes to mess with her like this. Were you messing with her too? Probably. But, well, if it would make Mike spend time with her again...

"Fine. What do we have?"

You smile at her. This babysitting stuff is a breeze.

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When Mike stumbles in the door the next morning, he spots you fast asleep on the couch. He flops down in the recliner and just watches you sleep for a minute or two. You look so pretty when you're asleep. Serene. Peaceful. Not at all like when you're awake, giving him that attitude he's so familiar with. He sighs and makes his way over to the couch, knowing he should probably wake you for work.

"Uhh... wakey wakey?" He mumbles lamely, unsure what to really say. Definitely not good morning, beautiful. He scoffs to himself at the thought.

"Mmm... Mike?" You blink up at the man gently shaking your shoulder, your eyes adjusting to the morning light.

"Yeah. Who else would it be?" He shakes his head in amusement and goes back to sit in the recliner.

"I dunno. A hookup?" You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes, then stretch out.

"A hookup? Still being passed around, then?" He responds with a scoff, trying to hide just how much that answer bothers him. Even after nearly a year of being broken up, he doesn't like to imagine you with other men. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth, even if he's not into you anymore. Actually, you don't look half-bad right now, stretching your arms over your head like that...

"Can you blame a girl? Had to make up for all the unsatisfying nights with you."

Mike reeled at that little quip. The smug look on your face, god... He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to shut you up with a kiss or a punch.

"Just fucking go home." Nice one, Mike. That'll show her.

"Hey, you agreed I could get ready here. I'm gonna go use your shower, and then I have something to talk to you about."

Something to talk to him about? He scowls as you walk off towards his bedroom. Why couldn't you just leave him alone? Why did everything have to be so complicated? He groans and goes to lie down in bed. Maybe he could get in a quick nap while you shower. Maybe.

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You emerge from the dingy bathroom connected to Mike's bedroom fifteen minutes or so later, steam trailing in behind you.

"Three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash? Seriously, Schmidt?" You scold him, crossing your arms as you stand before his bed wearing nothing but a towel. At first, he seems annoyed when you pull him out of his brooding, but when he takes in your current state of undress, he sputters.

"S-so? Its economical." He scoffs, irritated, but unable to look away as you make your way around his bed and out the door.

You return a minute later carrying your overnight bag. "Forgot my clothes." Mike just nods, still unable to tear his eyes from you.

"Stop staring."

"Stop waltzing through my room naked."

"This isn't naked." You gesture to the towel wrapped around your body, drawing his attention back to you.

"This is naked."

Mike watches in complete shock as you let the towel fall to the floor, completely baring yourself to him for a few moments before finally locking yourself in his bathroom. You hear him mutter a few curses on the other side of the door, and smile as you get changed.

"Was that really necessary?" Mike scowls at you when you emerge from his bathroom a few minutes later, now fully dressed.

"Calm down, Mikey. Not like you haven't seen it all before." The old nickname you used to call him by doesn't sound endearing anymore. It sounds taunting. Mike looks like he cant decide between kicking you out of the house or pulling you into his bed. Good to know you can still get under his skin. And maybe his bedsheets, if you wanted.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" He finally asks, sighing in defeat.

"C'mon. I'll tell you."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Mike sits in the recliner, watching you set up a bunch of unnecessary crap on his coffee table. Did you really have to do your makeup right in front of him?

"A witch, Mike? Seriously? You told her I'm a witch, and then left her alone with me for the night?"

Mike swallows. Shit. He honestly forgot about that, it was just some lame excuse he came up with right after the breakup back when he was still distraught.

"Am I wrong?" He tries to brush it off with a sassy comment, but folds when he sees your intense glare.

"I mean... uh... I'll tell her you're... not a witch..." Real smooth, Schmidt. Mumble and stare at the floor.

"It's not even about that, really. Feed her all the lies you want. What I'm upset about is that she told me you don't color with her anymore."

Mike finally meets your eyes as you apply yet another random powder he doesn't understand the purpose of to your cheeks with the swipe of a brush.

"I'm busy. And it's none of your business. I asked you to come be her babysitter, not her mom." He snarls, hands clenched into fists.

"I'm not trying to be. It just breaks my heart to hear that stuff from her, Mike. I told her I'd lift the 'curse' off of you if she ate her dinner, and she did. So consider yourself un-cursed."

Mike grits his teeth as you put air quotes around the word "curse". He knew you were right, and that bothered him more than the fact he was being a shitty brother. The worst part was, you weren't even being snarky, you just sounded genuinely concerned for Abby. God damn it.

"...Yeah. Fine. Un-cursed. Got it." He grumbles in agreement as you finish up your makeup and swipe the assortment of products into your purse.

"How do I look?"

He wanted to tell you that you looked gorgeous, that he missed having you around, attitude or not. But in this moment, he couldn't do it. He was too tired. Too angry.

"Like a whore."

"Someone's jealous he doesn't get any."

"Like I'd want you."

"Oh yeah, the raging boner you had earlier when you saw me in a towel was because you don't want me. Totally."

Oh, now you're just taunting him.

"I'll have you know that didn't happen till after you lost the towel." Mike scoffs as he follows you to the entryway, unlocking the door for you while you slip on your shoes.

"Don't lie to me, Mikey."

"I'd never dream of it, Princess."

Mike has to resist the urge to pull you into his arms as you leave for work. Maybe if you didn't look so goddamn smug, he would. Instead he just shuts the door and locks it, hating himself for how much he enjoyed this whole interaction.

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will probably write a part 2 (with smut??)

edit: here is part 2

(no smut. part 3 tho...??)

idk this was my first fanfic ever so enjoy

#josh hutcherson #mikeschmidt #mike schmidt #fnaf movie #fnafmovie #mike schmidt fluff #josh hutcherson x reader #jhutch #mike x reader #no use of y/n #fnaf fic

266 notes · View notes

sameschmidtdiffname · 7 months

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heyyyy can I pls req something where Mike tries to make it up to the reader after he says something wrong in their 1st fight as a couple? like “I don’t want to lose you” as an apology and they get back together or something along those lines? tysm I really enjoy ur work :))

But of course!!!

Wanting, Waiting

Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: Overworked and underfed, you'll go to sleep once some decent work is complete. However, a late night turns into a day long fight.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no gender specific pronouns for Reader, pre-established relationship, argument, cursing, Reader and Mike both got some shit going on, hints of an eating disorder, overworking, hurt/comfort, crying, mentions of: suicide/death, depression, drugging, and kidnapping. Vulnerability is gross.

Notes: 'Slip' walked so this could run full speed into a brick wall. I feel as though I may have redeemed myself.

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This page is mocking me.

The hour is late. I stopped checking the clock around 2:00 A.M., and there's a cup of cold coffee right next to me on this table, several rings on the inside from where the coffee had been left sitting far too long. It's cheap, the flavor sticking to my teeth in a way that settles my lips into a slight grimace as I try to convince my hand to move my pen across the just as cheap notebook paper that has been sitting in front of me since I came home.

Come on. It's words. What the fuck is hard about this?

'It's not hard if you can actually get your head out of your ass and do something,' I think to myself. Not helping.

I have an irritating collection of drafts. Oh yes, I can start them and I can certainly plan out the works before me. But actually writing is somehow impossible, and even though I can feel how thick the block is in my mind, preventing me from communicating my feelings properly, I just can't get break myself out of it.

Come on. Finish one draft. Then everything will click together for the rest.

For the past few weeks it's been just like this. Come home, sit down with projects, and try. But no matter what I do, I just can't focus. It's as though my head simply won't allow it. And this house, quite frankly, isn't helping. It's admittedly unsettling atmosphere, the loud noises born from nothing. It's as though I can feel the weight of the dead that used to sit at the same glass table as I watching me over my shoulder, pressing their non-existent weight against me, making my chest tight with pressure I cannot voice because that's not fair to the ones still here truly haunted by their presence. I'm just a guest who overextends their stay, quite frankly.

Just a page. Just write a page and you can get up for a moment. Ignore how loud the fridge is at something clunks inside of it.

A page. Get a page. Come on, you imbecile, how hard is a fucking pa-

"I thought we talked about this."

It's a testament to my mental state how high I manage to jump in my chair, my tired and over-caffinated heart set off to make me dizzy with over exertion from fear, turning to see who has come to voice their thoughts and damn us both with them.

"Mike," I sigh. I place a hand on my chest, rubbing slightly at the spot where I feel my heart pounding against my sore ribs. "Don't do that."

"Have you slept at all?" Mike asks disapprovingly. His arms are crossed against his chest, heavy bags under his eyes from another night of restless dreams. He can't sleep, I won't sleep. If he'd allow it, we could actually get shit done this time of day.

"A little," I lie. He's just worried. About everything. He always is, which at first was something I loved about him. And usually I still do. It's an admirable trait, to care about someone and love them so much it's only natural to fret over them, to check and make sure they're taken care of properly.

Except it makes me feel guilty.

"Oh yeah? What time?" He asks, narrowing his sleep swollen eyes at me.

Details. Fuck.

"Ah, uh- I don't know, I wasn't looking at the clock," I say sheepishly, trying to flash a disarming smile and make my own bags look like ones of bare minimum rest instead of self neglect. Mike's jaw tightens slightly.

"Oh?" He says in a dull voice that is not raised, yet managed to ring throughout the room nonetheless.

I hum affirmatively, pressing my lips together and fiddling with the cheap pen in my hands, glancing down at it in an attempt at trying not to give myself away.

"Yeah, I don't know. Just like, laid my head on the book and... y'know... drifted off for a couple hours," I try to say casually.

"Ah," he says as though that were enough, leaning now against the doorframe of the hallway, looking at the other wall as though the paint were interesting. "How long after I went to bed, do you think?"

Keep your breathing even. He can smell fear. "Like, a couple," I answer with a shrug.

"Or, like, not at all," he says, turning his head back to stare down at me with a glare.

"I slept," I insist.

"Bullshit. You give me unnecessary detail about your shits post mexican take-out, but you can't tell me what time you fell asleep?" He says accusingly.

"I was asleep! I'm sorry, do you want me to lie and give some time because you need it for some reason?" I ask evenly, shrugging as though to ask what he'd like me to say, blinking at him and adding a tired tinge of a croak to my voice to match his.

"I'm sorry?" He asks, eyes still in narrow slits yet somehow widening slightly, his leg uncrossing from over the other and planting firmly on the floor as he stands straight.

He's not that tall. Kinda short. But he looks much bigger when mad. Kinda like an iguana. I told him that one time and got bit. Jokingly, of course. It's not like he'd just reach over and sna- You know what? Irrelevant.

"I'm just saying," I say, starting to turn back to my notebook as though the conversation were finished.

"No-no, I'd like to hear that again," he says. I can hear his footsteps pad against the flat, tan carpet, my shoulders stiffening slightly as I train my decreasingly neutral eyes on the wrinkled, lined paper in front of me. "I liked the part where you made me sound like some insecure teenager for calling you out on your shit. Very original."

My lips press into a thin line, my grip on my pen tightening slightly.

"It's not that serious, Mikey-"

"Don't bullshit me, and don't use some cheap nickname as a cop out via sympathy," Mike snaps, standing now on the opposite side of the table, pressing his hands now against the glass surface that dirties so easily. Trust me, we've had to clean some prints off of it.

There's a line, and at some point I'm going to cross it. The problem is it's hidden under mental sand that makes me unclear of exactly where it is.

"Michael-"

"That's formal," he says, leaning forward on the table, his tone the same as an interrogating mother just waiting for the moment where no one will blame her for finally tearing you to shreds for what you've said to her outwardly innocent statements. A trap.

"I'm sorry, I thought you didn't like cheap nicknames?" I say, fighting the irritation in my voice, barely managing to remain even as I click my pen to begin writing.

"What's wrong with just Mike?" He asks. He reaches across the table, placing all five of his fingertips on my paper firmly and dragging it back across the table towards him, withholding it from me.

"Would you like me to use just Mike?" I ask.

"I'd like you to make eye contact while you lie through your fucken teeth," he says calmly, not moving as he continues to stare me down.

"Okay, Mike. And what exactly does my sleep schedule mean to you?" I ask slowly, trailing my eyes from his hand, slowly up his arm with pronounced veins and muscles, to the white cotton shirt that was two sizes too large and usually what he wore to sleep in, until I meet his dark and slightly hateful eyes.

"We had a conversation," he starts.

"A conversation," I repeat.

"About a month ago, do you remember?" He asks, cocking his head slightly in that way it does when we both know I'm not going to dare to answer with anything other than he wants.

"You ha-"

"I had a concern," he interrupts me, now looking down at the notebook and studying it as though it were a piece of fine art. "Which involved how absolutely awful your ability is to take care of yourself properly."

"Mike-"

"Shut. Up." Mike says with disturbing calmness. "I'm talking."

Fine.

"It's fucking rude."

Not saying it's not.

"Like your attitude when I try to just help you because clearly, you can't help yourself," he says, now slapping down the notebook to gesture at me as though it were obvious why he was concerned.

I could speak. I'd like to. And he gives me a long enough silence I could. But instead I decide I will simply give him the floor.

"No opinion on this?" He asks shortly.

"No," I say with a dismissive shrug. "You seem to have them for me."

Mike laughs at this statement, and if the sparkle in his eyes didn't seem to have the same dull shine as the glass table between us I'd feel a bit better about it. But I think there's a six foot hole in the backyard I just signed a lease on that makes his disturbingly convincing smile much more worrisome.

"You're funny," he says affectationately. "Get up."

"What?" I ask, blinking.

"Are you deaf now? Up," he says in irritation, beginning to cross back around the table. "This isn't a negotiation."

Before I can speak his hands dig in under my armpits, roughly pulling me to stand and bringing me close to his chest. I should have energy to fight back, I've only been sitting after all. But a physical confrontation would be too loud, first of all. Abby is asleep in her room, and I don't want to make a scene to wake the poor child. Number two, my bones are sore, my head is aching and I generally just do not feel well enough to protest. Physically.

"Put me down, you son of a bitch!"

Verbally, I'm fine.

"You're going to bed, that's final!"

"I have twelve drafts due that I have to get done or else this project-"

"You have four hours of sleep you can get before you have to take your candy ass to work in the fucken morning, or else I'm gonna beat it into you," he hisses directly in my ear, his breath cold and loud so close to me. Jesus, fuck. What did his parents feed him as a child? It shouldn't be this easy for him.

"Oh, I don't do what you want and now you threaten physical violence. Very mature," I mock, reaching out to grip the doorframe of Mike's bedroom, purely to piss him off.

"Save me the dramatics," he snaps in a whisper, wrapping one arm tighter around my waist and using the other to bat my hands away from the frame. I can tell he's genuinely trying not to hurt me, his grip on one wrist firm but careful.

"Just let me write one page," I try.

"That's what you said last night," he says, still trying to pull my hand away. My nails have dug into the frame, making it slightly harder. I can sense his irritation growing. "You got two hours of sleep."

"That's not going to kill me," I argue.

"You haven't slept for more than two hours in a week," he says.

One nail breaks against the frame, making me lose my grip and sending pain down my arm from the awkward angle at which the pressure had snapped it off. I wince slightly, which gives Mike slight pause as he checks my hand, but decides I'm alright before he begins dragging me towards the bed in earnest.

"Why is it so hard for you to just take care of yourself?" Mike asks in frustration.

"I take care of myself!" I say defensively. Mike drops me onto the bed, standing in front of me to prevent any new attempts at escape.

"No, you don't," he says, quiet but firm. "You sit and stare at your notebook and you don't do anything else if you can help it. You sleep for two hours, you go to work, you hardly eat, you don't have energy anymore." Mike's hands are planted firmly on his hips, his nostrils flailing as he tries to take collected, calm breaths. "I care about you. Why can't you?"

"Michael-"

"Stop!" Mike snaps, groaning and turning away from me with a sharp spin on his heel. He buries his hands in his hair in frustration, now pacing between the bed and the door, quietly shutting it so we can argue in peace.

"Why are you so upset?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"Because I don't want to see you live like this. I am concerned and every time I bring it up you dismiss me, you joke, you don't care and I hate that," Mike says, temporarily stopped in his tracks to point at me as he seethes. "I'm watching you waste away and you know what? I'm starting to think part of you likes it."

"Excuse me?" I say, astounded. I cross my arms in front of my chest, cocking my head at him in a way to say 'I dare you to repeat that.'

"You heard me," Mike says, taking a step towards me. "It's like you cannot for one iota of a second conceive of some world where taking care of yourself is a good use of your time. You work, and work until you've burned yourself out so horribly you rot in bed for a month. And unless you're staying here, I hear nothing from you. Not a call, not a fuck you or whatever. It's like you're punishing yourself."

"Now who's being dramatic?" I say.

"See? I can't even point this out without you getting defensive, which just shows you know you're in the wrong!" Mike turns away from me once more, resuming his path of restless walking.

"Why do you even care?" I ask genuinely. This makes him pause again, his glare once more returning to me as he mentally questions my intelligence.

"You know what, I don't know!" Mike snaps, his voice gaining volume. "You are insistent in this fucking- slow method suicide and I'm trying to help you, but you won't let me!"

"I never asked you to care," I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"I never asked to care!" Mike nearly shouts, leaning in close to my face and sneering at me.

This breaks the tension.

His face falls as soon as the words are out of his mouth, his eyes widening slightly like my own eyes. This comment shouldn't really sting. I shouldn't let it. But it does. And for a moment, I do. And he sees that clearly.

"... oh," I say softly, my arms relaxing and shoulders sagging ever so slightly as I drop his gaze, trying to shut off my emotions before they're obvious.

"I'm sorry," Mike says quickly, stumbling to his knees in front of me. "I didn't mean that-"

"It's fine," I say, trying to remain as blank as my pages on the kitchen table.

"I just said it to be hurtful," Mike says quickly, his hand reaching up to cup my face. I take it away, turning my head to the side slightly. There's a new chill in the air, one I can feel seizing my chest.

"You weren't," I say. "I'm going to sleep."

"Please, I don't want-"

"I'm going to sleep," I say forcefully, shoving him away and turning to begin undressing from my work clothes that I still wore. Mike is silent behind me, probably thinking, and I'm close to not being able to hold myself together anymore.

"Get out!" I snap, flinging my shirt at him in a rage and beginning to stand from the bed to chase him out. He doesn't need anymore prompt, quickly scurrying out from the room to wherever it is he'll sleep now. Probably on the couch even though there's another room down the hall. A self induced punishment. Knowing him he probably won't even allow himself a blanket or pillow, feeling the cold air fitting for his selfishness.

Good.

When I wake that morning, I can smell breakfast in the air. My stomach hurts from skipping meals, but I don't want to eat. First of all, I haven't worked for a meal. There's still plenty to be done with my drafts. And food is a good encouragement to keep working. Second, I didn't ask him to care. And he didn't ask for it either. There probably isn't enough for me, and if there is, he and Abby can debate between the two who will have it. I need to shower.

I take forever washing myself. If that's what you want to call it. It was moreso standing under hot water, letting it run cold until I couldn't stand it anymore and hoping my deodorant is able to do some heavy lifting today. I barely have enough time to get to work, passing silently by Mike and not turning when he calls my name, walking out the door as fast as I can without running.

He follows me outside, something shaking in a bag behind me. When I finally open my car door I'm forced to have my gaze in his direction, his body between the door frame and my car door, presenting me with a bag of lunch.

"Please eat," he begs, placing the bag in my lap unceremoniously and then quickly stepping away and shutting the door himself.

There's a small moment where he and I just share at each other through the glass, time slipping away without notice. He hasn't slept, he'll be late for work if he doesn't get dressed soon, and the bag on top of my thighs is warm. Fresh. A petty part of me wants to roll down my window and throw away the meal, back out of the drive way and let that fester in his mind out of hate. He thinks words can hurt? Actions are so much worse.

But there's something in his eyes. Defeated, resigned. Childlike is almost the word I could use. In front of my car is the 12 year old boy who tried to chase down his brother, the 18 year old who decided to sacrifice his life raising his little sister while saying goodbye to his parents, and the 27 year old man who's just trying to keep everything together.

I don't know what to say to this child. Or to the man.

So, with the turn of my key in the ignition, I don't.

It's late when I come home. When the manager had asked me to stay late I almost called Mike to break the silence and tell him this. But there was still a part of me that didn't care whether or not he knew. Really, I didn't have to return home tonight. I could go back to my apartment and just let him rot in bed the way he claims I do. How could he say such a thing, anyways? I rot in bed? What about the days I've walked into the house and he hasn't slept all week, where he's claiming he's trying to kick his medication and he'll get the hang of it soon. Where his sister is eating every meal almost burnt because he can't think straight enough to remember time. Where I've had to coax, beg, demand of him that he just takes a pill because he's laying on the side of the bed, small and curled in on himself, dead eyed and obviously tired but still not sleeping. One time I slipped it into his food. And I felt awful. Do not think for a moment I wanted to do that. There was a betrayel in his eyes when sleep began to overtake him. I hoped he wouldn't notice, but he must've. Some tell in the drugs effect that made him aware his rest was not voluntary. But I didn't care. I stroked his hair through the night, and I'll do it again. He could hate me however long he needed to, he just needed sleep first.

The irony still hasn't struck me when I walk through the door of his house, well past dinner, Abby in the bath. The door was left unlocked, which is unusual for this time of night. Mike jumps from the couch the minute I open the door, standing with his hands by his side anxiously pulling at the edge of his oversized sweater.

Everything's oversized with him. The thought occurs to me that his father was slightly bigger.

"Don't leave me," he says quietly, his voice small and pathetic like him. But I don't say that with hate.

"I just got home," I say. "Be a bit odd to leave again."

I try a smile, but it's artificial and we both know it's only for his comfort. It doesn't touch him, his eyes glassy and lips slightly parted the same way a child's is when they're trying to breathe as their sinuses spring to life in wake of forming tears.

"I didn't mean it," he says, still standing in the same place. If I was a better person I'd probably run to him. But I'm not.

If I were a better person, I'd say I believe him. But I don't. And suddenly my throat is swollen with hurt, my own bottom lip is sticking out and now we're both trying not to cry because this is so overly taxing. We're adults but emotions are hard. Vulnerability is hard. It is a damnation that we both detest, both avoid. In better states we would joke about this, would laugh and tease the other for not having the emotional capability to voice our thoughts. But we're not. So we don't. And now we're crying openly in the off-putting, attempted to look cozy living room that we can never fully relax in.

"I don't wanna lose you," he says between small hiccups, hands now balled into fists that he buries under opposite armpits, shifting his weight so that he doesn't look so small. His glances bounce between me and the hallway table, never fixing on either of us as he tries to state his mind like an adult. "I've barely had you."

In my heart there has been a constant ache, hurt flowing and pumping through my veins like the blood that ran cold last night at his hurtful words. His apologetic words make the ache somehow worse.

"I don't mean to be a burden to you," I say softly, feeling a small, stray tear break the fluid barrier of my waterline to race down my cheek, allowing a pathway to the fatter drops that threaten to quickly follow.

Mike's face shifts, stepping towards me and holding out his arms.

"No, never," he says just as soft, trying to comfort me. I freeze as he approaches, my body stiffening as I try to swallow the lump and convince myself that I can survive his touch. His touch that I normally crave the moment I'm around him, that I seek in the dark of night even when the bed is overheating, that I'd go insane without.

"I've never asked you to care," I say, voice breaking and tears rolling freely now.

"I know," he says into my neck, which is wetting as he shakes around me, his grasp firm and careless of whether or not it's too much.

"I don't mean to cause problems. I just...." I don't know what I mean, how I wish to finish the statement. If I was clever, I could. If I was clever, I wouldn't even be in this problem to begin with.

"I'm just scared," he chokes out, his breathing horrible as he struggles to keep his crying from being obvious. "You look sick all the time and I don't want that."

He's told me the story. His mother wasting away, thinning and slipping, starving and dying. How he'd returned home to a baby wailing in her crib as their mothers body lay in a pool of blood he never really got out of the carpet. He lied to me initially when I saw it the first time, said it was wine. It wasn't until we had a few glasses ourselves that his eyes glazed over and he told me. It was disturbing how neutral he kept himself to the subject. A habit he'd developed much too long ago to break.

"Mike-"

"I try, and I try and if something doesn't give soon I'm gonna fucking lose it," he sobs into my skin, arms tightening around me.

"If what doesn't give?" I ask softly, trying to pull him away to look into his eyes. But he doesn't budge, sobbing a little bit harder and gripping a little bit tighter. He doesn't respond, simply shaking as he breathes heavily against me through his mouth.

"Hey," I say softly, trying to wrap my arms around him, failing and giving up as I realize his grip is too tight. "I'm not going anywhere."

His mouth closes a little, quieting his breathing slightly as he sniffles.

"I'm an idiot, but I'm not suicidal," I say softly, trying again for a joke. He doesn't laugh, but he does pull away slightly to look at my face, lips swollen and quivering as he blinks at me.

"You scare me," he says quietly, not quite meeting my eyes. He's watching my lips, but I think that's because that's the closest he can get to making eye contact.

"I scare you?" I ask, furrowing my brows. I lick my dry, cracked lips for comfort. "Why?"

"Because I love you," he says shakily, sighing as though it were exhausting to admit while still holding that nervous flicker in his eyes. "Because when I think about not being with you the house seems colder. And I can't go back to hating this house."

I open my mouth to respond, but there's more.

"Because I love your stupid smile when you're excited, or how you do that cricket leg thing when you're falling asleep. Or how if you want my attention you'll bury your head in my chest and pretend you're doing it in your sleep even though I won't judge you for doing it while you're awake."

"I don't-"

"I love how defensive you get over things like that," he says, bringing one hand to cup my cheek, resting his thumb that smells like the creamy lavender handsoap next to the bathroom sink on my lips. "I love how you look waking up next to me, how you play with Abby. And for a really long time I didn't see myself ever having kids, but when I see you curling her hair at the kitchen table I think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I just took up another job and saved money so that we could-"

"Mike-"

"Stop cutting me off," he says gently, his eyes finally meeting mine with just the smallest smile. "It's rude."

At that I do stop, my body finally relaxing into his grasp as I lean into him and his touch.

"I want things I haven't wanted since before Garret went missing," he says, stroking my lip. "And I want them with you."

Dinner was just as delicious as lunch, even if it was late. And the bed is soft like our voices as we make plans for years down the line. And after a week long break, the pages are finally filled once again.

Just like us.

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

Literally had a come to Jesus moment while writing this that not only do I fear being vulnerable irl, but in writing too. Nearly threw up while writing this. Book aable feet.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

•▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

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cryptidcorners · 10 months

Note

Can we have Mike taking care of his sick girlfriend? Or vice versa, with the girlfriend taking care of him?

Morning Fever - Mike Schmidt x F!Reader

Description: You're struck with a horrible sickness, and Mike refuses to let you overwork yourself like this. In a way to make up for all you've done for him, he indulges you in a day of soft care.

# requested by anon .

Media: FNaF!Movie

Character: Mike Schmidt

Tags: Girlfriend!Reader, Established Relationship, Fluff, Soft!Mike, Sick!Reader, Care (Receiving), Slice of Life, Domestic, Cute Stuff, Cuddling + (This may or may not be the tall reader from short problems, but height isn't specified ✋)

Warnings: Descriptions Sickness, Unhealthy Work Life Mentions

read my TOS + Mike Schmidt Masterlist

You awoke to a jaded pain in your head, as well as Mike's arms wrapped around your body softly. You figured your sudden aches were due to dehydration, or from your horrific work hours. You rolled onto your side with a tired hum, eyes fixed on his lazy curls and peaceful expression. Your fingertips ghosted to his face tenderly and rubbed featherweighted circles across his bristles with a warm chuckle. His senses were disturbed, and he pressed his lips against yours before opening his eyes.

"Well, good morning." You greeted.

"It's still dark out." Mike replied, voice wreaking in depth from his exhaustion. "You don't go to work in a long time." He asked with a yawn. "Go to sleep."

He rested his head on your shoulder sleepily while he kept hugging you. It'd be a couple more hours before Mike would truly need to get up, as well as you. "I figured I'd just get up early." You sat up, drawing out a desperate grumble from Mike as his grip weakly fell off your body. You chuckled and ran your fingers through his hair, "You know I can't stay in bed forever."

"Yes you can. If your boss has a problem, I'll kick his ass." Mike mumbled with his head buried in his pillow. "Just a few more seconds, please, baby?" He pleaded.

"I got to get ready, Michael." You kissed his head. Before you could stir out of bed, you began coughing violently. In a split second, you could already feel his hands behind your back. He was already rushing to take care of you.

"Are you okay?" He asked and you only replied with a vibrant nod as you cleared your throat. "Yes, I'm—fine. It's just a cough."

Mike frowned and held you close. "No, you sound like you have the flu or something. You want water?"

"No, I can't. I need to go to work." You assured. Mike's palm pressed against your forehead, "You're burning up."

"I just need some air," you protested. "I can't be late."

"I can't let you go out sick like this." Mike continued. He was growing desperate, "Just rest. For me, okay? I can take off today, and I can call your boss."

"Mike," you whispered while growing agitated. As much as you wanted to rest, you were a struggling workaholic. You couldn't just not go. "You need to rest, understand? Do you feel anything else?"

"Just a headache, and my throat is a little raspy." You described. You watched him walk out of the room and into the darkened hallways. Firefly light flickered, illuminating the wooden walls and Mike's moving shadow as he went to scavenge for some type of pill to help you. You coughed, "Mike?"

"Just a second." He called. You could hear the collision of empty bottles and other objects from the cabinets. It wasn't long before he came back with a glass of water and an antibiotic. You knew that type of drug was expensive for him. You straightened up defensively, "I don't think I need it."

"Please, let me take care of you." He extended his hand, "You've done so much for me, this is the least I can do."

You couldn't resist his dreamy eyes and soft personality. In the end, you surrendered and ended up being tended to by him the whole day. Mike had speedily taken Abby to school, called your boss and drowned you in spaced intimacy. Even if you hadn't asked for anything in particular, he read your face and came back in record speed to get whatever he theorized you wanted.

You had forgotten how much you had lacked conversation with him during the work week, especially one as gentle as this. The television buzzing in the background as you both sat on the couch (different sides, of course) just rambling about . . . anything really. Even with his shy character, he still held a spark that could leave you starstruck.

A lot of sneezing and throwing up didn't stop him from leaving your side.

"Are you sure you aren't bored?" You ran a wet paper towel across your face. Mike shrugged, "Of course not." he said softly. "I wouldn't leave you sick like this. I love you,"

"Love you too." You echoed.

A.N: sorry i keep changing the format every post lmfaooo. hope u enjoy ,, went a lil crazy

#💤 mike schmidt #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #josh hutcherson #fnaf #fnaf movie #💌 request!#writing #writers on tumblr #mike schmidt fluff

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sneakyparsnipslicer · 10 months

Text

Birthday Transformation

Michael was on his last day of being 29, in just a handful of hours, he would be 30 years old, which isn't the end of the world, but to some it spells 'Twink Death'

And that's just what Michael had been, at least for the past decade; a blonde-haired twink. Of course it wasn't always that way. At one point Michael was a gangly ginger guy, and the change wasn't one he'd intended to go about.

On the night Michael turned 20, his body had completely transformed, the curly ginger hair shortening and becoming blonde, his body structure shortening and his body becoming more taught, even the goofy face and teeth had changed. It had baffled many who had known him in his college years, and it had changed him in a big way, no longer the unpopular art student, but a studly young man who changed courses for sports and fitness. He definitely became popular with the college athletes, though it was safe to say he'd spent a lot more of the past decade bottoming rather than topping. For a confident guy, his slim build didn't particularly scream dominating.

Of course as times had rolled on, more tools became useful to him, the invention of TikTok and OnlyFans had helped Michael build a following, even an income. He frequented the gyms in town to maintain his slim yet stocky build, for some it only made him more irresistable. In the year leading up to his 30th birthday however, close friends had begun talking about what turning 30 could mean for this career he'd built up. It's true many gay men lose interest in twinks when they turn 30, no longer as boyish-looking as they used to be, and Michael was no exception. Even he had begun to notice the wrinkles on his forehead when he raised his eyebrows. But who knows, maybe that miracle that happened 10 years ago might happen again.

Michael finished his day and headed home, made himself some dinner, had a shower and took off his clothing, looking at his body in the mirror in his bedroom. He'd put a lot of work into his appearance, keeping up with popular haircuts, wearing clothing that was in fashion, ensuring he kept some muscle despite the slim body. He thought back to his reaction when he'd woken up on his 20th birthday and his body had completely changed overnight, he was completely different, but it was still him. He massaged his smooth cheeks and chiseled jaw, he'd strangely never been able to grow facial hair. His pecs felt nice, if flat, his abs on point, his dick was pretty average, but then it wasn't like it mattered to the guys he'd slept with over the past decade, they were more busy pounding the bubble butt he called an ass. He took his phone off charge and took one last selfie, captioning it.

'Twink Death in T-Minus 2 Hours!'

He chuckled as he posted it, watching as it got reactions from the regulars on his social pages. Just then his phone began to ring, it was his friend Ryan. He swiped up and put the phone to his ear. 'Hey Ryan, what's up?' Michael asked. 'Hey Mike, I'm good. Just saw your post, you're not still hung up on that whole Twink Death thing are you?' Ryan asked. 'Oh, nah, it's all good. I'll just be turning 30, no biggie!' replied Michael, shrugging. 'Good mate, it's just I want you to know no matter what people say, you're still a gorgeous guy. That's not gonna change overnight' said Ryan. Michael looked back to his reflection and thought for a moment, what if this change he was thinking of didn't happen. 'You still there Mike?' asked Ryan, jumping Michael out of his trance. 'Oh, yeah, sorry just getting ready for bed. Look, shall we meet up for coffee tomorrow?' asked Michael. 'Yeah sounds good, maybe I can get some extra cream for the Birthday Boy' replied Ryan seductively. Michael laughed. 'Shut up Ryan! You get some sleep buddy. See you tomorrow!' chuckled Michael. Ryan wasn't bad really, he'd always had a soft spot for him. He was one of the few friends that knew Michael before his first transformation, and what a revelation that had been for both of them. Michael put his phone on his bedside desk and put a sheet over his mirror, he wanted to be surprised if a change did infact happen. He turned the lights out, sighed happily and snuggled up warm in his bed.

Michael had fallen deep asleep by midnight and that was when the magic began. It started with a growling in his gut as his stomach began to push out against his abs. Hair began to sprout out from his clean-shaven chest and arms as they began to bulk up and his shoulders became more broader and muscular. His hands grew and became more calloused, his legs and feet lengthened and became more hairier, hair was just growing from everywhere. Michael had taken to keeping everything clean-shaven, even his ass and groin, but these tiny dark hairs were coming from everywhere. His dick began to widen and lengthen, becoming a 7-inch girthy fuckstick with some pretty nice balls and his ass became two hefty, hairy melons that filled out his boxers better than before. Despite his body becoming bigger, his muscle definition didn't grant him too big of a gut, he wasn't skin and bones anymore, but he had a pretty huggable frame. Michael's neck began to fill out and dark facial hair began to sprout out, covering his chin, cheeks and jawline. His blonde hair grew out and became a dark brown, as did his eyebrows, becoming bushier and his face restructured granting him a sharp nose with some pretty kissable lips nestled nicely in his beard. The hair on his head kept it's relatively side-swept style, but it became a lot thicker and bushier, and there he laid in his bed, a changed man and yet unaware.

Michael woke up with a yawn, stretching and moving his hands down below the covers to stroke his morning wood under his boxers. 'Mmmm, nice' murmured Michael, feeling his new dick and snapping his eyes open in realisation, sitting upright and examining his new body. He was hairy to say the least, and he actually had a chest that a man could rest their head on now. He couldn't believe it had actually happened again! 'Holy fucking shit!' Michael gasped excitedly, feeling his throat realising his voice had become deeper. He sprang out of bed and tore the sheet off the mirror, being greeted by the man he had become overnight. He examined his face closely in the mirror, feeling his facial hair as it bristled against his fingers. The face itself looked strangely youthful, but worn. Honestly it was a look that Michael didn't mind, it was an experienced look. 'Goodbye Twink, Hello Daddy!' Michael said, laughing. He looked to his fully erect dick and then back to his reflection, wiggling his eyebrows and biting his lip, smiling. 'Guess we're not bottoming anymore huh? Unless someone's feeling brave!' Michael chuckled, feeling his dick again. He lowered his boxers and grabbed his shaft, enjoying the sight of himself masturbating. He began to work up a sweat and after some choice filthy talk, he came over his reflection in the mirror. Panting and leaning on the mirror, he looked his face up and down and smiled. 'We hit the fucking jackpot this time!' he whispered excitedly, kissing his reflection passionately. He was interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing, it was Ryan.

'Hey Mike! Happy Birthday man!' said Ryan happily. 'Ryan! Dude! It's so good to hear you! Thanks!' replied Michael breathily. 'Whoa man, you sound groggy as fuck! You just woke up?' asked Ryan. 'Uh, yeah. Something like that. We still on for coffee?' asked Michael, eyeing his wardrobe. 'Yeah, I can get to our usual spot in half an hour, sound good?' asked Ryan. 'Perfect! I'll see you soon. Got a few surprises for you!' said Michael, grinning and hanging up before Ryan could respond. He opened his wardrobe doors and grabbed a shirt, but then hesitated. He looked at the shirt and his reflection, he just wasn't feeling it. The styles he'd grown to wear just weren't doing it for him anymore, he searched his wardrobe for something grittier, leathery. He settled on a pair of ripped jeans, brown boots, white t-shirt and a leather jacket. He ruffled up his hair, this was a look he was vibing with. He used to be neat and fancy, but now he just wanted to be laid-back, smoky and seductive, like a Greaser. He pocketed his phone and headed out to the carpark to his car. Again he had a small car that did the job, but what he was really craving was a motorbike. He shook his head, he could sell his car later and get a motorbike, right now he had a date with Ryan, maybe he could get some cigarettes on the way.

Michael was still Michael and had always been him, the sporty fashion twink was gone now, a memory of a past life alongside the nerdy artist before him. This decade he was gonna be a lean leather daddy, and he was gonna love every day of it.

#male tf #transformation #gay #male transformation #nerd #twink #daddy

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thelittlestspider · 2 months

Text

i think i'm gonna post this rough outline of the toxic matt/foggy scene

taglist: @fortunatetragedy. @hiitspath. @rosesonneptune. @srchupacabra. (if anyone else wants to be tagged for this just let me know. or if you don't want to be.)

warnings: toxicity, overdose, suicide attempt.

[Foggy finds Matt sitting drunk on the sofa. He takes a sip of alcohol.]

Matt: I just want to know something. Did you write that note to Heather?

[Foggy's heart quickens. He begins to sweat.]

"No," he answers.

Lie.

Matt: Don't lie to me.

Foggy: Okay, fine I did. I was worried about her.

Matt: No, you weren't.

Foggy: Excuse me?

Matt: If you were, you would've helped her get away from me. Not write her a fucking breakup letter!

Foggy: Don't you dare lecture me, Matt. Not after you took everything from her.

Matt: She would've gone to prison. Isn't it better to be broke for a bit that incarcerated?

Foggy: And dependent on you.

Matt: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?

[Matt's voice is soft, but filled with venom.]

Foggy: Don't.

Matt: Getting your rich daddy to sponsor the poor, blind guy sucking your dick? That's masterful.

Foggy: My dad loves you like a son.

[Matt jumps up and gestures wildly.]

Matt: No, I'm a pet with a law degree! A pet that walks and talks, and sucks and fucks. Who lets you cry on my shoulder and makes you feel good about yourself.

Foggy: Do you know why I can't love you?

[Matt braces himself.]

Foggy: Because my whole life is wrapped up in you. I do everything for you. I take your cases when you can't be assed to show up. I introduced you to that accountant because you're terrible at budgeting. I do the accounting for the firm, I hire the staff. I bring you breakfast and medicine when you're hungover from drinking all night.

Foggy: Matt, I'm your only friend.

Matt: No, you're not. I have friends.

Foggy: No, you don't.

Matt: I have Peter.

[Foggy scoffs.]

Matt: Shut up, he's real!

Foggy: Then how come I've never met him?

Matt: We're both busy.

Foggy: What's he like? What's he do?

Matt: He's funny. He's twenty-two and he's a photographer. He wants me to come to his graduation.

Foggy: So what are you, his sugar daddy?

Matt: No, it's not like that. He's just a friend.

Foggy: I want to believe you. But after Mike, I just don't know what to believe.

Foggy: Matt, you're poison. You're poisoning my whole life.

[Matt's chest tightens.]

Foggy: So I'm cutting you out.

[Foggy leaves.]

[Matt reaches for the bottle.]

....

Peter hums a pop song as he unlocks Matt's window. He's dying for a cola and a nap on Matt's couch. He yawns, walking over to the living room. He finds Matt lying on the couch, hand hanging limply. The strangeness of it strikes Peter because Matt hates sleeping anywhere but his bed. Then Peter sees the bottle of vodka and bottle of sleeping pills. Alarm bells go off in his head.

"Shit, Matty," he whispers furiously, rushing to see if Matt's breathing. He tries to remember the medical stuff Aunt May taught him over the years, vaguely remembering her saying something about turning overdose patients on their side. He turns Matt over on his side and dials 911.

He tries to remain calm even though he's freaking out, and runs to Matt's room to borrow clothes to cover his suit. A minute later he rushes back to the living room to hold Matt until the paramedics arrive.

"Matty, come back to me," he whispers, frightened tears welling up in his eyes. "We didn't get enough time together. Please come back."

He kisses Matt's forehead. Then begins CPR.

#every me and every you tag

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blackstarchanx3new · 1 year

Text

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 4

Pages 91-120

NO I WON'T SLEEP TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

OH OH

I WANT SOME MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE-

Lmfao Michael I know you love your dad but does he abuse you or not? He does.

He flip flops on that it seems...

Ennard is obviously upset Michael would rather hang out with a FIIIIILLLTHY HUUUUUUUMAN.

People REALLY did not get Ennard's character on webtoon so let me go into another rant if you will:

People saw this scene, of emotional manipulation and putting someone down and went

"Ooooooo Ennard's JEEEEAALLOUUUUSSSS!~"

Bro.

What are you five? Like actually? The lack of emotional maturity and awareness about just how fucked their dynamic is genuinely ASTONISHED me.

This isn't cute or silly. Ennard is being abusive and he KNOWS he is.

Ennard DOUBLES DOWN on the verbal abuse claiming literally no one other than him will understand Michael.

This isn't from a place of understanding either. This comes from a "I want to trap you with me" place.

This isn't a "Even if nobody else does, I will always have your back."

This is "Nobody other than me likes your stupid ass don't leave me or you'll have no one"

Ya know. Abuse.

Also no I'm not addressing the obvious.

I had to sit through SO MANY PEOPLE not noticing the obvious...Yall gotta sit through me being cheeky about the obvious thing going on here. :)

Alright fine.

I'll mention it fuck.

Michael has beautiful very normal eyes- UwU

Coming from THAT scene, we jump into one where Bonnie and Michael are hanging out. Because we've established they are friends too.

Haha Bonnie why are you blushing?

BONNIE.

BONNIE WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING.

They're a little zesty that's all-

Is it one sided? Are they fucking boyfriends? Who knows...

Look the straight people have comics where the entire cast is straight.

Every single one of my comics the entire casts are queer that's just how it is-

Gayness aside: Michael seems comfortable around Bonnie:

We can deduce this from MANY THINGS:

He shared his interest of plushies, something he immediately hid from Mike out of shame, WITH BONNIE.

He runs up to hug Bonnie, William had to force a hug out of Michael so maybe Michael doesn't hug everyone?

He's shared his past with Bonnie

He ONLY met with Mike because of Bonnie's nudging so he trusts Bonnie's judgment.

Micheal jests here but it's obvious this shit comes from a place of genuine concern considering how Ennard is lmfao.

Bonnie continues to be an absolute chad because if you haven't noticed he IS my favorite character in the FNAF 1 arc. He is a devine entity with no flaws.

No we're not talking about his smoking, he is perfect. He's being enabled leave him be- Also he's a robot who gets no ill affects from it lmao

Also yes the screens are showing LOZ and animal crossing stuff hah. I liked LOZ even back when I made these pages. We had no idea what that'd evolve into....

Bonnie also references the other Freddy from Circus Rentals again, who we saw a glimpse of earlier.

Also him and Freddy ARE good friends. Okay.

From this interaction we can gauge a lot about why Bonnie and Michael are close:

Bonnie isn't controlling or possessive, he cares about Michael's interests and helps him indulge in them.

He's the opposite of Ennard.

Bonnie, is a pretty good friend.

Michael's wording here is very interesting.

Bonnie's the absolute best friend. He can tell when the vibes are off. He's upfront about shit. He knows Mike HAS some kind of alter motive and doesn't really hide that from Michael. But also acknowledges Mike's kinda just fucked up right now and probably needs some support.

Also people were confused as fuck why the claw machine/Bonnie is sparking

He's skipping using tokens or smth on the machine by messing with it's power. I thought that was obvious as hell but what do I know.

Because Bonnie's a bad boy.

It is also amusing Ennard is Michael's designated daddy therapist and Bonnie is Michael's Ennard therapist. Though who's to say if Bonnie doesn't know about William's shit considering there's a LOT we don't know about Michael and Bonnie's relationship at the moment.

If you're FNAF savvy you'll recognize a lot of characters in the claw hah.

anyways Bonnie again tells SOME stuff about other people without telling their stories for them. What Bonnie left out of Michael's story will be very apparent as we go on.

Something cool I just like about Bonnie: Bro just wants both of them to be happy. He considers both of them his friends and thinks them being friends could help each other out.

Bonnie's just a bro. True to his word he's nice to just about everyone. Even someone he started off on rocky footing with.

Despite Mike's weird behavior Michael is determined to actually be a real friend to him.

So Mike's rambling but the shit on the walls is 100xs more interesting than anything he has to say rn.

Specifically the FNAF rap lyrics being on the wall. X'D

Also a bunch of Freddy doodles are seemingly mocking him.

My favorite just might be "MEOW! YOU'RE A LITTLE MEOW MEOW!"

Anyways what Mike is talking about:

William with blood on his hands is humorous because his own faults led to his kids dying.

The Bonnie panel is pretty self explanatory.

Bonnie's possessed by someone, presumably the "Jeremy" he specifically asked about earlier on.

Something to note: he asked if Bonnie knew anything about Jeremy's death. As if Jeremy's death isn't CONFORMED.

This leads to the conclusion: Jeremy's body was never found.

So Mike's mission here is becoming more clear: Find out who's putting people in robots and why, find Jeremy.

This is smth Webtoon struggled to comprehend: This series does NOT spell stuff out for you. You gotta build an understanding by paying attention. You can figure a LOT out just by reading what the characters say closely.

Hehehe...That might not be true...You are the guy who carries around a giant kitchen knife at all times aren't ya? ;)

Or maybe he just means innocent people...

This isn't the first time Mike's been an unreliable narrator/protagonist and he only continues to be as the series goes on. Something people also STRUGGLE to comprehend:

Protagonists aren't always "Good people"

Mike is a morally grey person. As are MOST of my protagonists.

Mike bribes Bonnie with his vices and manipulates people. But he's not exactly a BAD person per say. He isn't TRYING to hurt Bonnie or Michael. He doesn't have ill will towards most people.

Something HAS made itself very clear though: Mike has nothing to lose.

Mike is acting the way he does because he presumably: Has nothing and no one.

And he's in a very dark place mentally. The man has seemingly no support system when it comes to keeping him from NOT trying to off himself at a place he has AWFUL history with. So there's that.

Even further: Freddy's is established to be DANGEROUS. Mike acting the way he does makes a lot of sense considering he is basically a lamb being thrown into a lion's den of "you can't trust anyone". The way he acts keeping people at arms distance and not being too genuine with anyone makes a lot of sense considering ya know: The owner is most likely murdering people for his sick robot fantasies and he for sure could be next.

Having said all that he does bring up a good point: What WOULD be the goal of putting people in robots be?

If you've been paying close attention you probably already know the answer to this or are coming to your own conclusions. I will avoid saying for now tho. ;)

Considering Mike's words...It's WAAAY more than just this "Jeremy" person who's gone missing though.

The "You" he's talking about here is clearly Jeremy.

PARANOIA PARANOIA PARANOIA EVERYBODY'S COMING TO GET MEEEEEE-

WELCOME TO THE MIND FUCK-

Alright enough joking. Shit's going down for the second time and we know the one behind it. Mr. Funny yellow bear in the cyan jacket aka "Fredbear"?

Shit never seems to go right with him around.

The goofy doodles continue to mock Mike as he comes to this realization, the drawings becoming more sinister and oozing blood.

This is a reference to one of the scenes in the Silver eyes book/graphic novel by the way because I love referencing FNAF shit in my doofy FNAF comic.

Ya see this shit is what I meant by "I like horror in my comics"

The writings continue to mock him because they're awful.

The lyrics from the FNAF fan song "Run run" are amusing to me. XD

"Lmao you tripped" and "watch your step" - GF

are also funny.

These show that despite this being a tense scene for MIKE, the one behind this is laughing their ass off at his terror.

Also a poster of the Golden Bear trips him. Because reality is a joke.

Weirdly this bear is not wearing the same get up as the one we saw stalking Mike earlier in the comic...

Weird.

Guys gals and pals.

This is buildup. :D

The fucking boarders of the comic are oozing, SOMETHING IS COMING. Mike's so scared he just sits there and cowers for a moment, he's terrified to turn around.

I woulda shat my pants so ya know. Kudos to Mike for not doing that.

The giant bloody head is just disturbing but there's some oddities with this that we'll get into later~

I really wanted this horrific mouth to show how fresh and sticky that blood be.

Like ew.

Mike's trauma really just on full display here.

The repeating "Remember to smile" will be familiar to those who have heard the FNAF 2 phone calls (I think it's from FNAF 2 it's hard to remember. X'D)

"Remember to smile, you are the new face of Freddy Fazbear's pizza"

Easter eggs: The poster of Freddy tearing his own head off is the poster you can see while trying to spawn Golden Freddy in FNAF 1.

This bear walking is warping he floor to look like Fredbear's family dinner.

Also uh, he's a headless figure...

But is the floating head...HIS HEAD?

Also the poster mocking Mike while he cries is so hilarious to me I'm sorry I'm mean to my characters.

Mike was apparently coping with his trauma well before coming here, assumably so much so he decided he COULD come here.

Seems Mike had to mentally prepare himself to come back to this place after seeing the bite, but also Jeremy's disappearance here.

Huh, normal hallway.

Must be all good now! :D

You know you're screwed when a poster is laughing at you.

The giant head is just lurking...

Mike just resigns to asking for this nightmare to stop.

This situation is like, straight terrifying though:

You're trapped, can't leave just walking aimlessly down a looping hallway with the symbol of one of your worst memories just behind you at all times. It's not outright attacking you, just lingering making sure you're aware of it's presence.

It's like an actual nightmare.

Yeah singing a little song will help buddy.

Oh hey, Cyan jacket Yellow bear is there amongst all the others...Funny.

Oh he's pissed now.

Nothing is working. Coping mechanisms ain't working here.

Ngl the "WHAT" panel makes me laugh.

It's so absurd.

Mike is still under the impression this thing is haunting him because of his in-action.

Hehe wait-

Those teeth aren't like the one from befoooooooore...

Mike's so fed up with this.

Also the titular "It's me" line from FNAF 1 and, everywhere in the series. I had to include it.

Mike's just exhausted.

Bro is beyond exhausted at this point.

Also notice how he mentions "The dark"

you afraid of the dark Mike?

Bro's having mood swings like crazy. Not that I'd blame him I'd be pissed off if this ghost was just taunting me like this too.

Seriously tho- Mike you cracked that door with that punch is your hand okay????

Also we can note something about Mike: he's apparently right handed, or at least leans on using his right hand.

Yes that's relevant. X'D

Oh hey, Cyan jacket bear is back.

How long has Mike been putting up with seeing this bear ghost?

Huh. So even Mike notices the difference...

Mike I wouldn't touch that thing-

Mike. You stopped going to therapy!?

Apparently in the past he couldn't feel this bear. So he HAS seen it before in an alerted mental state.

And oh no it's got him-

Big ol bear hug! :D

OH. LORE.

Stuff we know but conformed for sure.

Bear is listening.

Oh. HELLO THERE. HE CAN LAUGH.

Mike's confession is real funny apparently.

Considering ALL the notes/drawings on the wall, this character is kind of a sadistic ass so this reaction makes sense.

So: They share a birthday how cute.

Oh.

That terrible day was on Mike's birthday lmfao. Ouch.

Mr. Cody bear does this to people A LOT. Often enough he knows how they usually REACT anyway.

Also there's a typo ignore that i'm not gonna fix it lmao

Aaaand the "Mike is a freak" gag comes back once again. XD

Meaning he's been watching Bonnie and Mike talk to each other...

Stalker.

He's been stalking Mike in general since he entered the damn building.

Creepy.

Oh my. Oh dear.

Lore.

Why does everyone pat Mike's pretty head????

So Cody wasn't tormenting Mike because of a vendetta: He's just an ass.

He also doesn't want an apology showing he's got SOME emotional maturity to know it wasn't Mike's fault. This kind of maturity shows off even though he might have DIED as a child, he is not STILL a child. This is in stark contrast to a character like Ennard who keeps a childish mentality towards others.

Josh Afton was the one wearing the "Foxy mask" and inadvertently killed his own brother.

WOOPS. IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO.

Seems Cody isn't over that...Getting pissed Mike even brings up his brother. Possibly angry Mike even KNOWS that much about him?

Cody just leaves.

Mike is terrified to be left alone, he'd rather hug the bear who's been tormenting him than be alone.

They take a peek back into the room and it's darkness is OMINOUS.

Cody's eyes also flash red when he's angry or annoyed, hold onto that detail.

And with that, THE IMAGE LIMIT FOR ONE POST HAS BEEN HIT.

Hope ya enjoyed the show so far we'll pick up again when I finish my blabbing.

#fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fan comic #fnaf fan art #fnaf creations au #fnaf golden freddy #golden freddy #mike schmidt #fnaf michael afton #fnaf ennard #michael afton #bonnie #fnaf bonnie #fnaf puppet

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newsies-newsreport · 1 year

Text

99 things I've noticed in newsies live, but I'm autistic, Part 1:

Feel free to rewatch newsies live and play bingo

1. For some reason, Jack and Crutchie seemed to be sleeping on the fire escape or the roof of some kind

2. The lighting is amazing! The blue lights with an orange background (which is kinda like Jack is blue and Crutchie is orange) but it also show sunrise.

3. This is so random but I know they make the newsies shave their facial hair to seem younger but they made Jeremy Jordan shave under his arms as well.

4. The watch me stand bit is the only part of the musical for the next 30 minutes Andrew isn't smiling

5. Sky and Ben's voices

6. Mush/Nick checking out Albert's/Sky's ass.

7. Finch appears out of nowhere just to yell at Albert

8. Sky seemed to have trouble with his suspenders so they just cut half of it out

9. Buttons had his hat in this back pocket idk if that's important

10. Mike and Ike switch hats and so do Henry and Mush on the other side

11. Crutchie polishing his crutch with his vest

12. Why does Mush have a stick?

13. Buttons scratching his head, the dude has unlimited fleas

14. Buttons just letting the newsies do whatever, also Chaz having to flitch his eyes when Iain throws his had over his eyes, like he's going to hit him

15. Anthony hitting Chaz's head so gently, like bro, what happened in rehersals for them to be so gentle with the dude

16. Specs jumping off the platform

17. Jack tieing Crutchies shoe and sniffing his feet

18. Crutchie stealing Finch's slingshot and shooting him, when Finch comes back to get him, Jack spins him.

19. Tommy boys little skips before Finch's line

20. Henry just disappears from beside Jack as a guy does

21. Smalls and Blink carrying Crutchie, plus, Andy Richardson and Julian DeGuzman are some of the shortest newsies, they were quite literally the exact same height.

22. Iain Young is so much taller than I thought, when you see them all line up before the bridge, you notice he's just as tall as Jordan and Jeremy. Also his hair is so curly I love it

23. Crutchie helping out give out the coffee

24. So unrelated, they probably didn't give Kid Blink an eyepatch because it was a safety hazard. With all the dancing

25. Elmers voice and character in general, he's obviously supposed to be one of the younger newsies

26. Ben's voice

27. Also, Jojo, aka Joshua Burrage just looking off into space, I think he was either looking at a specific audience member or the exit, dude wants to escape

28. Buttons still has fleas, someone help that dude lmao

29. The twins have 0 lines in the whole musical other than ensemble singing

30. Elmer again, just him.

31. Sky's curtain bangs

32. Jeremy encouraging Jordan before his big tumbling solo

33. Also Jordons face omg he's so sweet

34. Jacks goofy walk

35. Why did he punch Crutchie???

36. Crutchie punching Jack back is so funny

37. The twins are quite literally gone, like, they disappear so much in the musical, do they play another character I haven't noticed yet or???

38. Smalls on Henry's back

39. I just noticed which one was Oscar which one was Morris, I always assumed the one with the vest was Oscar cause he was taller and Oscar is the oldest? But no, the one with the suspenders is Oscar, and I swear I'm not the only one that has made that mistake.

40. Jack grabbing Oscars hat

41. Fun fact, Oscar and Morris are Weasles nephews.

42. Literally all Oscar did was push Race slightly cause he was in his personal space, and Morris decides to throw Crutchie to the ground for no reason, Oscar then has to rush over to stop any fight between Race and Morris because his brother was being a moron. Poor Oscar ends up with a crutch to the shin even though he did nothing wrong. Poor bastard did nothing wrong so far lmao.

43. Romeo grabbing his shin like he's the one that got hit

44. Albert carrying Crutchie

45. The Delanceys run into eachother and Oscar let's Morris go down the stairs first.

46. Jack joining in on the jumps

47. Did Les steal a newspaper or a bag, I can't tell? Nvm he just took a bag

48. Albert just disappears after he gets his paper, he also didn't pay.

49. Jordans (Specs) face during 50/50 bit

50. Micheal Dameskis little part in the reprise, literally he's so talented

51. Also Finch in the background already selling

52. Nunzio never finished Pulitzers hair, he just went on to his beard

53. The jazzy twist on "once again is mine" is literally so satisfying

54. Some of the newsies gambling

55. Race just reading in the background

56. When Jack is hugging Miss Medda and they zoom into Les and Davey you see a newsie walking with a woman, it seems like they cut abit of it because it changes character, I can't tell which newsie but I think it's Kid Blink

57. Also Mush just there moving scenery

58. The bowery beauties flying kisses to Davey is literally so cute

59. Davey and Jack looking at eachother when Medda mentions she knows the governor, like "Does she mean-" "Yep-"

60. How does Kara move up and down ladders with that huge ass skirt

61. Katherine gestures to the audience when she says, "go tell them" because the audience are the only people that seem to care about Jacks story

62. Jack starring at Katherine's ass when he said the view is better

63. Jack drew on a news paper

64. Mike and Ike cartwheeling into the darkness and don't come back until seize the day

65. Davey wasn't even late?? Like they didn't even put up the headline?? In Carrying the banner they didn't even let in the newsies before they put up the headline

66. Oscar and Morris actually interested in the conversation cause they probably don't have a mother either

67. I imagine alot of the newsies can't read or do math so that probably why Albert both read and explained how the prices went up

68. Jojo being the only one that doesn't seem to care??? Like he's smiling even at Crutchies "sleeping on the street" comment

69. Specs Fidgeting with his bag

70. Tommy boy making sure he does have a shirt on, not Jack gaslighting him

71. Tommy boy also running away from Les

72. You don't see it but Mush hits Race with his hat, you see him take it off after Race says "can't you smell smoke" then it zooms on Jack and you hear a hitting sound then you see Race holding his arm when he walks back to Jack

73. Les escaping from Davey

74. Also why did Davey try and leave??? Where was he gonna go??

75. I like how the newsies suddenly change their minds and agree to be part of the strike when Jack calls them membership when before they really didn't want to

76. (Skipping world will know) Mushs face when Davey say "Auspicious" also one of his legs on the chair, like dude, sit on the chair

77. Jojo has a rip in like trousers

78. Tommy boy putting on his hat just to not go to Brooklyn, Mush and Buttons doing the opposite

79. Crutchie playing dead

80. Davey not doing anything

81. Davey saying "i got to take care of my mom"

82. All the boys checking out Kathrine, especially Albert, like, dudes putting on his entire rizz

83. Ben/Race checking out Kara/Katherine's ass

84. Tommy's reaction to being called a ragamuffin

85. Specs saluting Kathrine

86. Race checking out her ass AGAIN like dude

87. Tommy nodding alittle when Kathrine asks if they think they have a chance, but the dude was one of the scabbers

88. Albert just being completely dead inside

89. Jesus christ are Nicks eyes blue like, you can see them from here

90. Kathrine still checking out Romeos ass

91. Also I just realised that Romeo doesn't even know the story of Romeo and Juliet so doesn't understand his nickname

92. Smalls pulling himself up on the table

93. Everybody excited about being on the front page, Albert: 😐

94. Not Jack trying to Rizz up Kathrine

95. It actually works at some point

96. Is Jack drunk, like, is this an acting choice by Jeremy or is the character actually drunk?

97. Kathrine is so cute, like, her character is so badly written but Kara made her amazing

98. Skip to before seize the day. "Them brooklyn boys is big" "yeh and Spot-...was impressed" I swear they are making fun of his height here

99. "Are we?" Finch really doesn't want to be part of this strike

#newsies #newsies live #jack kelly #musical theatre #crutchie #davey

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ronanceautistic · 6 months

Note

Further to Eddie and Nancy dnd question; How would Eddie get her involved? what do the kids think about Nancy joining hellfire? Would Erica be glad there are more girls or regardless will also make Nancys job harder?

Moreover, i kinda like Eddie and Nancy in the trailer being night owls working on a campaign late nights till Wayne forces them to sleep by scowling them like kids past their bedtime XD

Also hope you feel better soon!

I think they would probably start off casual friends, hanging out at school, maybe Nancy helps out with Eddie's homework afterwards. And then she casually drops the complete bombshell that she used to play D&D and it blows Eddie's mind. Now it's his life's mission to get her to play again, and to be honest, it doesn't take a lot. He starts talking about the campaign he's working on, and maybe at some point deliberately says something about a monster that's wrong, just to get a sense of how much she knows. Nancy corrects him, because despite not playing since 1980, all her D&D knowledge is still in her brain forever. But anyways, this gets her more engaged in the conversation and before Nancy can realise it she's planned an entire campaign. And Eddie's like do you... want to do this. And she's like, fuck it, sure.

Dustin and Lucas are absolutely ecstatic. Especially Dustin, who's been trying to convince his friends that Nancy is still a nerd for years now. Mike is also happy to be playing D&D with his sister, but he will never show it. And of course, he isn't happy for long because as soon as the game starts they're fighting. I think Erica's also glad another girl is in the club, someone else to keep the obnoxious boys in line. Also, because I think everyone in the party has an element of complete chaos to them, and both Erica and Nancy are more level headed and logical in what they want to do. I think with both of them around, the party make a lot less stupid decisions.

This was long, I basically wrote a whole ass fic jesus. Also thank you! I do feel a lot better because it turned out to be allergies rather than actual sickness.

#nancy wheeler #eddie munson #hellfire club

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jeffchats · 6 months

Note

The Karate event in Dubai is on April 20th. Obviously the organisers will be paying for Mike and Jeffs flights and hotels, Jeffs paying for Verica to come from Australia, she won’t pay for her own ticket. To me it makes sense as to why she’s going to Dubai, I mean Jeffs flying 15 hours half way around the world anyway so they can meet in the middle. If he flew all that way and didn’t see her it would be strange.

Also does anyone else think this is all to quick, they literally met for the first time less than 3 weeks ago on 23rd March. After the Tana pod he had his reservations about her but now he’s changed his tune? What 34 year old spends less than 2 weeks dating a girl a decade younger him & then decides to be official after barely knowing each other? There’s more to a relationship than just finding each other physically attractive.

Deep down I think regardless of how Jeff feels about her, he’s in a position where he can’t pump the brakes and take things slower or tell her we need to be friends first as this is so public. He’s in a catch 22 situation where if he did cool things off people would think he’s a jerk and would get hell from h3 audience & upset Verica . And if he continues this situationship he feels pressure to show its going well and to keep Verica happy as it’s obvious she has way stronger feelings for Jeff. Jeffs got himself in a really fucked up position where he can’t be transparent and honest about his feelings. Dammed if he does, dammed if he doesn’t… but its his mess & his decision making from the start, so idk, Jeffs made his bed now he has to lie in it right?

Jeff is a fucking moron to think he needs to please H3, their fans, or his fans at the expense of someone else or himself. It's a fucking fan dating show, people expect it not to work out. He made his bed but he definitely will not sleep in it.

Instead of being honest, he's going to further dig himself into a hole that will make him look like more of an asshole. If he was honest from the start and actually discussed his reservations and why he's so hesitant, people would understand. Instead he wants to talk about it to some 20 year old influencer who is known for clout farming (Tana)? People wouldn't be surprised if it didn't work out with a FAN. His need to kiss ass and be validated by people who probably do not care for him as much as he thinks they do will contribute to his downfall. Let's face it, his career has not been great. He can be transparent and honest but he doesn't have the balls to so what does he do? Clout chase for a quick buck at the expense of his reputation and career.

He is fun using Verica for clicks and literally telling Tana he was unsure AND allowed it to be posted in the video after the week he spent with her? Now he's pulling the mental health card? Cry me a fucking river. He could have avoided all of those comments had he cut it out of the video if his feelings changed but no he chose to leave it in there and get people to talk. He's banning people on Reddit but why isn't he deleting that post discussing his feelings? HE KNOWS IT'LL RESULT IN CLICKS. Views = money. How do you think he's going to fund Verica's economy ticket to Dubai? Using his audience. The mental health card annoys me because Jeff has all the resources or much more resources than the average person to seek help and get it. Does he do it? No, he chooses to abuse sleeping pills and get rid of therapist because he doesn't like his hairstyle. He sounds like an idiot. People struggle to even get health insurance and I don't feel bad for someone who has resources and chooses not to access them yet complain on the internet that his mental health is bad.

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fractalkiss · 2 years

Note

could you do a director's commentary on 'who's gonna hold you down'? and/or ⭐ for your deaging fic!

i'm gonna do director's commentary for one of the parts that had me shaking crying throwing up when i was writing 'who's gonna hold you down' AND one from jwds deaging fic because that's fresh in my mind...rip. hope this isn't too much lol thanks for dropping by to ask these!

who's gonna hold you down commentary:

Lucas doesn't like to admit it but he's supposedly (claimed by Dustin) the worst driver out of them. Erica could parallel park better than he can, and she'd just gotten her licence. Even Will—who for some reason, swore he'd suck at driving, could back it out into a busy street with enough calm: whose wasted ass did you steal Jonathan's car for to go pick up? And still? Dustin had asked just a couple months ago in their chatroom, and Will flipped him the bird via text. That's what Lucas told Max anyway. What El tells her on timed phone calls under the phone bill's watchful numbers, was the abridged version but funnier versions, in El's flat unhurried tone. [i just love the idea of erica being able to parallel park better than her older brother and the idea of will taking jonathan's car in the middle of the night to pick up the guy he's been sort of maybe seeing on and off when he's drunk to help bring him home (shoutout to male oc lionel). will deserves so many good things and i want him to be HAPPY. @ duffer bros please dn't kill him off the next season. TERRIFIED for this guy, i want him to live. i'd also like to think that it's maxine and will who doesn't let el pull away from the group too much after her breakup with mike. i almost forgot his name as i was answering this, i was about to say finn wolfhard. my thoughts on el and mike is that there are no thoughts besides el needing to grow as her own person eventually away and separate from mike. me @ el: he's just some guy!!]

The thing is, she's never been impressed by sunsets. Not here, nor the ones that sprawled out over the beaches in California like something alive and hungry. Max imagines instead, a sliced apricot in place of the sun, glowing over the horizon. A side effect of Lucas always reading her to sleep when she was recovering from her broken body, before she got bored with the books she'd chosen herself and couldn't get past the reedy voice he put on for parental figures and asked him to talk about their friends.[max's whiplash in between wanting to die about lucas' impersonations and having to adjust seeing the world by extension via someone else while she's lost some of her vision in this fic, which i think can be pretty debilitating during the recovery phase for someone like her, whose natural inclination is to put up a wall up around herself and hold her own]

It was fine. Lucas didn't have rich or creative descriptions for them sometimes, but she listened. She listened, smiled, jabbed, and choked out laughter at all the good parts, until Lucas didn't have anything to tell her one day.[it's his loneliness upon max's loneliness!! secondhand! he does all this for max but what if it might never be good enough and max knows, so she reacts the way she does--she smiles and laughs and rolls her eyes as long as she listens. one chapter a day and they'll get through it one day at a time!! if she listens and lets him go on then maybe there'd be no need for to give any more of herself back]

"They ask about you," he said.[trying to get through to her via the power of friendship over long distance]

Max is too tired to shrug. "Same old."

"Yeah but, you know," Lucas said, in that voice Max simultaneously hated and loved.[i'd like to think they were 2 years going on strong here and then right after she was released, they took a break lucas knew she needed and then continued on strong again up to the present roadtrip scene] If she hadn't been jacked up on morphine, feeling vaguely disgusting in scrubs she sweat into a lot, she wouldn't have said anything. How unbearable, to still have gotten your feelings hurt by being told you were withdrawing into yourself, again. She thought her shame cortex for displaying basic human vulnerability should have dimmed down after dying once.[this is basically me questioning and navelgazing as i was writing: the power of friends and friendship might have saved someone, but what happens after that? what's life after that when things have to change and people naturally grow apart. in a sense, i meant for it to be max thinking she was gonna live her life every day to the fullest after escaping death, but she's still coming to terms with the life she's left with]

Now, she can smell the ocean, salt and brine after they've found a spot to sit.

They'd brought Lucas' bike, strapped to the top of his dad's car and wheeled it atop a road that stretched on and on, easy to pedal through with speed, almost as fast as being on a skateboard. Lucas mounts it, and Max gets on behind him.

"You wanna tell the others about today?" Lucas asks. Not what he'll think of today, but what Max thinks of, the things she wants to remember.[she remembers that there are people who's stuck with the life they're left with too, and that she can't fault them for wanting to share it with her.]

She can smell his clean shampoo, the dense thick pine along the road, and the taste and ringing of something close to happiness in her teeth.[needed sensory descriptions here especially with scent, i was not going to leave that out to describe familiarity and love] "Of course."

They start moving and set off, the wind rushing past their ears like a song[the kids biking + max going along on her skateboard really has become a staple in ST. i thought of kate bush's love and anger for lumax specifically, i think the lyrics encapsulates the kind of dread and hope for a future]

--------

hold your lost causes commentary:

i'll pick one scene that isn't too depressing (to me)

Dongsik nudges Juwon's leg with his knee hard enough that Juwon bristles and says "Don't," but he's smiling a little. Smiling just enough that Dongsik can push himself closer and crowd him in. Juwon tries to elbow Dongsik away, even though he's got his hands fisted in Dongsik's hoodie, shuddering at the warm contact when Dongsik tries to mouth at his neck, and looking pissed off anyway when he manages to straddle Juwon that way on the floor. It's not exactly roughhousing, with the quick kissing in between; Dongsik wonders very briefly if Juwon had anyone to play rough with, in boarding school maybe, or if that was too much for him.[i think i just loved the idea of dongsik trying to lightly roughhouse with juwon and playing unfair by kissing. i personally don't think juwon liked roughhousing at all growing up lmao, but it's dongsik unconsciously filing this thought away in his head to learn something about juwon for later]

"Ah fuck," Dongsik groans, slightly out of breath when Juwon shifts his weight in an actual clean semi-throw to get Dongsik off of him, and pins his leg. "Easy, my back is killing me, actually—"[i love the size difference. and age difference lol so many opportunities for the push and pull between them]

"Sure," Juwon says, but he lets Dongsik's leg out beneath him, one hand on his stomach tentatively, "I did ask you."

"You have all the advantage in the world. You just liked me doing that," Dongsik says as he runs his fingers through Juwon's hair now, tugs gently. He notes how dark Juwon's eyes seem to go. "Why judo?" he asks.

"Why not?"

"Didn't take you for a close contact kind of guy."[lol judo is a martial art that's about grappling, cornering into place/locking, and taking control over your opponent so like BESIDES the close contact, i think judo really does track for juwon. this is me basically taking advantage of the character outline in the translated parts of the script]

Juwon drops his gaze, pushes himself off and sits cross-legged. "Why taekwondo?"

"Jihwa's father had a dojang and held classes. He taught us."

"Oh Jihwa's father taught you?" Juwon repeats, as if to himself.

"My father encouraged it." Dongsik's father had simply told him when he was a kid that he had to learn how to fight. His brawl streak in middle school and high school became history. "He was always teaching me to fight for yourself as a man. Maybe you wouldn't have liked us at all if we'd known each other then."[i wanted to make sure it was clear in the phrasing that dongsik and his dad were evidently really close back then, besides canon knowledge of it from the drama. it's a reminder every time that dongsik actually had a decent positive relationship with his father in childhood up and juwon is like. acutely aware of this so he listens and tries to push aside his own experiences and understanding of fathers/family as he knows it. at this point after the deaging, it's where he's inclined to want to do this since he thinks dongsik has had a happier childhood--before the tragedy at least--and is thus by far the better person between them just for not lacking this in is early childhood--except dongsik doesn't think this and would never think this of himself.]

"Maybe," Juwon says, subdued. "I suppose it's what fathers do."

"Are you saying that for my sake?" Dongsik asks. There's truth in Juwon's words. The familiar hardness in Juwon's eyes now might have something to do with his father, with whatever Juwon had been doing in Seoul today earlier, but most of the fight inside him had been taught somewhere.

There's a rough, sharp-edged stone that seems to throw itself over in Dongsik's chest each time. He knows what that is, a reminder that's ugly and vindictive, a kind of animal in him that licked at its own wounds when Juwon stood by him years ago against his father.[the kind of animal i envisioned here was meant to be selfish with self-preservation instincts at an all time high ie. not thinking about whether or not juwon gets hurt protecting him, but thinking that it's only right that he can get hurt protecting him because i think, grief and anger is something that people want others to feel with and share and empathize with BUT at the same time, they'll cradle their own grief and anger to themselves and think "no, this is mine to bear and nurse. let me sit with it alone because you would never, and could NEVER understand." like. it's SO conflicting, jwds' relationship is like the ultimate conflict upon conflict LAYERED.] The same brutish, killing animal that imagines the look on Han Kihwan's face if Dongsik visits him just to tell him that his son's a keeper, uses his mouth for something pretty well.[dongsik imagines this, but would never do it because to see any sort of outrage from han kihwan as a father is complicated. would he rather have han kihwan show disinterest and disdain for his own son that he doesn't react? or would being able to hurt him this way actually feel good when that would just mean that he is, still a father most of all? tough choice! conflict upon conflict] But the other curious part of it now, is that maybe Dongsik's feelings are just hurt because Juwon is so careful about putting up a fort around himself. It's terribly ironic; Dongsik is supposed to be the expert here at that.

"Juwon-ah, you don't have to pretend for my sake. Not for me," Dongsik says, barely a whisper. With the rain outside, he's not even sure if Juwon heard it.

But Juwon is close enough that he looks up at him. Just stares at him from the other end of the couch, for what feels like a while, both of them silent like their heads are underwater. "Right. It's just a fighting sport," he says. He says this slowly, like he's really talking about something else.[he's talking about every toxic bad quality that was nurtured and grown in him because of his father]

"It's still you," Dongsik finally says. He'd gotten to know Juwon as a kid and he was always who he was: good. "Maybe I'd want to know. Maybe I don't. And then maybe I'd talk your ear off, would I have that?"[literally the closest to a confession i could write. "will you bear yourself open just a little more for me and listen to me talk your ear off in return??? hmu if yes". essentially, to let someone glimpse you for who you were before and still have them want to stick by you in the present and LEARN about you--that's trust and love baby!!!]

The non-committal phrasing only makes it so much easier to say. That's another thing Juwon learned to understand about Dongsik a long time ago, that he understands now.

"Troublesome," Juwon says, but it's soft. He doesn't make a move to leave. "You have that. You had me long enough."["that was all i've been trying to do with you!!!" (post-canon) "why else would i want to drink an insane amount of tea with u". lord i think i added this line like. a day after posting just because i read it again and thought a more proactive conversation seemed to have better impact, thus adding a line of response from juwon]

#director's commentary #deaging fic #stranger things fic #answered

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nolanhollogay · 2 years

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“Woah, what’s up with you? You look pissed.” + the nhgobxou!

the pogues said #FUCKMIKEY and they're right in this one occasion :/ also nova pov 4 fun

Nova was sitting with the others in the Twinkie, Edgar's head in her lap, when JJ stormed over, Mikey in tow.

His jaw was set, his hands turned into fists. "Woah, what's up with you? You look pissed," she said.

Edgar sat up, frown bringing his entire face down. "What happened, amor?"

JJ crossed his arms over his chest, turning to Mikey with a look that could kill. "Mikey has something he wants to tell you guys."

Everyone turned to him, Edgar somehow not managing to break eye contact as he grabbed JJ's arm to pull him close.

Mikey tensed like a scared animal waiting for a predator to leave. "I really don't–"

Voice hard as stone, JJ commanded, "Tell 'em!" Edgar flinched and Nova rested her hand on his knee.

"J, this isn't going to help anythi–"

"He's dating Rafe fucking Cameron! He hooked up with him at Midsummers after he tried to kick the shit outta me," JJ shouted.

"What the fuck?" Kie said, sitting up so hard she knocked something over.

Nova couldn't believe her ears. "What are you talking about?"

Edgar laughed, but he sounded close to tears. "There must be some kind of misunderstanding. Mikey wouldn't– You wouldn't..." Mikey looked away, guilt plastered onto his face. "You– Mikey– He said I deserved to be deported! He got me arrested! And you still.. you slept with him after he did that to me? After he attacked Pope and JJ for no reason? Why would you do that?"

The wounded look on Edgar's face, his glittering eyes shining with hurt, made Mikey visibly crumble.

He swallowed hard, blinking away his own tears, and cleared his throat. "You guys don't understand..."

Nova sent him a look that made him flinch. "Make us understand then, Mike. What are we missing? Because from what we've seen, Rafe is a fucked up psychotic racist. And you're willing to ignore that so you can sleep with him guilt free?"

Mikey made a noise like a kicked dog. "It's not just.. It's not like I'm just having sex with him and ignoring all the shitty parts of his personality. It's.. He's different when it's just me and him. He's not so horrible."

Edgar was quiet, drawn in on himself. "He punched me in the mouth so hard that I bled because I was trying to stop him from beating up JJ. And, again, he had me arrested. I was literally in jail."

Pope piped up. "Need I remind you, he and Topper assaulted me for literally no reason, when I was trying to bring people groceries after a hurricane. Because I committed the crime of existing where he could see me."

"What happens when he turns on you? What are you gonna do then?" JJ asked.

"He's not gonna–"

Nova interrupted whatever half assed excuse he was going to come up with. "Yes, he will. People like that always do. My own mother jumped ship because she wanted to be a Kook that bad. You think a guy you've been with a few weeks is gonna stick around?"

John B hummed, frowning so hard it creased his eyebrows. "Why don't we actually give Mikey a chance to speak?"

Edgar nodded along. "There has to be something we're not getting."

Kie laughed, anger more than present in her voice. "No, we understand just fine! Mikey just doesn't care about you guys enough to stay away. Doesn't care about us! He's too busy throwing us to the wolves so he can play house with a psychopath!"

"I'm not– I do care about you. You don't get to decide whether I do or not, Kiara," He ran his hands over his face. "And, frankly, this has nothing to do with you. Or you." He pointed to Nova.

She wanted to punch him in the face.

"Look, you guys just.. You don't know him like I do, okay? He's not the fucking devil. He's just–"

Edgar cut him off. "John B, would you be able to take me home?"

John B nodded, even though he sent Mikey an apologetic look. "Of course, Eddie."

Wordlessly, everyone else climbed inside the Twinkie, leaving Mikey standing outside of it.

"You coming?" John B asked.

Mikey shook his head. "No. I'll walk home."

#me vs not referencing the twinkie in every obx prompt #i just love her<3 #nova morales #edgar ramirez #michael caswell #nova asks #asks #my writing #nhgobxcu #i love you obnoxious acronyms #leaf tag 🌿

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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John remillard is sheriff it's rude to you and reckon you you are not going to make it and it did it again the same routine and had him defecate in public and it is a misdemeanor has to be witnessed by law enforcement and was not and we know because he was hidden and we don't have anything else to say he's not admitting here. It's not easy to anything I said but really you're trying to threaten them for global conquest and having to take a poo and we get rid of you cuz we can see you cuz you're saying it out loud and you threaten other stuff which is worse and you see it around surgery and to harm him and we go after you. Just not really illegal it's not his property so once he's fired they're going to take the tape down

Thor Freya

What a wimp and a crazy person and really you people are nothing to stop threatening them and you got separated you're walking around weakest crap playing a huge guy he's got super strength right in front of everyone as if you can't do something to stop you it's ridiculous there's just sit here and watch it so we can get at you you're aggravating the s*** out of us or walking it out of this it's obscene a joke. He knows you do it to us you harm me this you're always the space with this huge enemy he'd rather waste yourselves than do anything that's understood you don't even understand the math don't even have a calculator. Here it is he's after him to get a motorcycle he won't says it you proceed blind arrogant swine. We stick you now pull you in loser trump

Tim d.

I saw it outrageous he's dead. Sherrif tomorrow tried ok left and ohhh he's an idiot and dead wow ok wow. She's doing the job he's saying it..no. is. We hit him ok.

Mike tew

We saw it awful crew then we walk him do diagnosis. See he's our King ours ok

Frank Castle hardcastle

Duke Nukem Blockbuster it says it too and sleep in a dumpster that's been decontaminated cleanse and is sealed and has a fresh air supply and what's the point and it's not hot that's what it is and we worry about it and we know the same but really but boy these people take the case is tomorrow the event is tomorrow we hope so he's out of control there's a complete jerk

Today they're firing tons and tons of them and their little show isn't going to help them. Delaware 10 individuals who went out and we noted who they were a little bit and to gather people from the Miami area and come across Florida four of them have passed away and we started with ten houses. Five houses went out and four houses returned it's another round today during the day and then state it too. It says he's treated badly it's not a team member you guys want to take over and don't know anything about life and you don't have friends you don't have real family it's ridiculous to do that to someone the bag of f****** idiot and we are aware of that and it's absolutely true. They treated like a little more honest treated like a stranger and don't care you're not going to go anywhere cuz it's not really what works. Jason's going with you you carry all the tools in and out of the truck do the work he's just going to stand there and talk to his people on the phone and blow it up your ass you know it's not life it's not even spying it's ridiculous s*** that's b******* and I bet he doesn't do that but boy it's close our son says that and yeah that's what they're like so they can't see what other people do and a whole bunch of them are dead on the field. They're taking off right after breakfast they say and after that song they can't stand it and no it's not the singing like our son thought and daughter.

We're cleaning up the mess and we have to but he says I'm probably just get a sample you know how to do that sort of so we're after it you want to see how and it's not a mystery but it's going to take a while and we tested the other one didn't see it apparently noon in Case by noon.

There are other things happening here in punta Gorda being announced it and give Thor Freya a break, there are several people who are getting fired from their jobs here and John remillard is one it's a five remaining jobs in each town and the sheriff's position is sheriff prumel and he's not trying to his own and holding it against him and he's not kind to our son and he doesn't have a good reputation it's not working. I'm taking it out on him but really the max are and if they're planning to do it it's the Year of the cat and you got it from Vietnam and saying the Vietnamese to it but they found it it's the second one for real and they're not worried about it they should be but that's how it goes in the back world. It's not only him it's about 8% more to come up to about 94% from 85 so it's about 9% roughly and somewhere in there and they plan on doing it today the government positions in all of Florida any plan on doing it pretty soon. It's a lot of positions yesterday and the day before they went after married and controller positions and today they're going after the sheriff the police fire departments councilman and other service positions such as head of public works and head of other departments and they're replacing them with Max and we are filling underneath rapidly and foreigners are grasping at jobs too. You're stating that they don't want to put money into a facility of ours or things so senses when I just duplicate it it's the idea it's not necessary to rip it off it's going to be there throughout the duration and this is not a bad idea keeps order and clones don't want it. And it stops to John hopefully to a degree. And these positions are huge they're important and you see them on TV all the time they haven't touched the state legislature is not true this overlap of characters now they haven't touched the state legislature or the federal legislature but it was talking about state governments so far it's not true these are public jobs and throughout the country they should reach 70% including federal jobs and the Senate and Congress to the last. And they're doing it almost completely upside down and it's to send a message to them that they know how it works and then it's ridiculous and it is they don't have people who think in their own and yeah it's similar across the board but okay. And there's some other things going on too but this is a huge day and it's a very sad day for a lot of people these positions are of power and a lot of power in this area along with those spots are the military which is in Florida and elsewhere too but here in Florida they're going to try and push them out of all the bases all at once at the same time it's a huge number of bases

More shortly

Frank Castle hardcastle

I got something to announce too we have a lot of stuff going on today and it's more than people want to talk about and it's more than they want to look at but it's happening they're trying to get in here again unsuccessfully do not very good at and they're getting hit they're getting laid out and a lot of them are getting hit really bad you don't have time right now for TBI and it's happening they don't have the energy to recuperate and it's happening let me see it's difficult today would be terrifyingly bad for warlock didn't try and leave a lean on her son heavily hospital jail all sorts of things will start to work now here we need more people more facilities we had to do it last night and for his request and still not enough we need a lot more here and pronto so I'm ordering it now

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

We're following through and doing it too and a lot of it and we're assessing it now

Olympus

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w1llb7ers · 2 years

Text

MIKE WHEELER IK WHAT YOU ARE /HJ

People hate on Mike too much in my opinion, I'll always be a Mike defender. It's not just because I see him as a realistic teenager, but I see myself in him. He's the first character I've related to in a long time. The way he acts is how I used to act when I was struggling with personal issues (internalized hom*phobia).

Here's some examples of how I acted:

I lashed out a lot and closed myself off emotionally. I had bad anger issues at the time and they were so bad that people told me “Who are you? I don't recognize you anymore.” that sort of smacked me in the face and made me think about how I was behaving.

I pushed the person of interest (my ex best friend) away and tried to ghost them completely. I ended up being successful and now we hardly ever talk. We knew each other for over a decade and all it took for me to ignore them was the possibility of feelings budding in my chest.

I would literally go insane in my bedroom at night after a day at school because I hated the thoughts that ran through my head when they were around me.

I would stare at their lips randomly and tell myself: “You're just kiss deprived. Your boyfriend broke up with you a week ago.” I loved lying to myself.

Then, I left them on read for the last time and we stopped talking for 3 years. Never called. Never texted. And never met up. We used to hang out almost every weekend. The feelings got SO BAD that I actually dreaded them sleeping over. In fact, I lied to them saying “Sorry, I won't be home this weekend.” just because of this.

Therefore, when someone says “He'S sTrAiGhT NoT gAy!!!1!!” I can't help but laugh because 1) I know what it looks like to hate yourself for what you like. 2) If he isn't struggling with IH then he's just an ass and I can't be satisfied with that idea. His character is so much more complex than people give him credit for. If my assumptions are correct, the dufflebags didn't “ruin” his character. They made him go through things internally that would impact how he behaves. He's not just some guy that doesn't give a shit about Will anymore. He DOES give a shit. He is smart, not stupid. He may be clueless but he's got an idea of what is going on. He knew Will was crying (in my opinion), but he didn't ignore him. He didn't want to treat him like a “baby” like Will states in S2. He doesn't like it when people treat him like he's fragile. Even if he is at that very moment. Plus, there were other people around (ie Jonathan and Argyle). They weren't alone.

I know this isn't credible because I'm just some teen girl on the internet, but I know what my experience was like (having feelings for someone you don't want to have feelings for because they're not the opposite gender). And I see it in Mike. His actions, his everything. It's so CLEAR. Yet no one looks far enough into it to see it.

Sorry for the rant I just had to get it off my chest. Ik this isn't the cleanest/ most organized post. However, I am just speaking my mind here lmao no one has to agree with me. This was like a vent a bit tbh idk where it all came from. Thank you for listening!! :)

#mike wheeler apologist #mike wheeler i know what you are #he is just struggling with himself and he'll be back to his old self soon i think #i miss him trust me but sometimes things happen that change our character and how we treat others #mike wheeler #byler tumblr #byler

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justanotherlifeff · 4 years

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Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

Hanji POV

I was giving a pep talk to my squad when I saw (Y/N) talking to Levi. We were about to leave the walls in a few moments. For a second, I think I saw shorty with a warm expression. It was surprising really, given that he always looked like a "constipated brat" in his own words. What was more surprising was that he found himself someone shorter than he is. When we were called to the lift, I saw (Y/N) and Levi giving each other some really intense looks and talking about something.

God knows what these two were talking about given that their looks could make new recruits piss their pants. Levi walked away from her when the lift arrived and stood beside me on the lift. I saw (Y/N) move slightly to stand with the crowd.

"Yo shorty, what were all those intense looks about?" I nudged Levi to which he answered, "Shut it shitty glasses". I smiled at his usual behaviour. Seems like even love can't change some things. I sighed at the thought. Moblit and I weren't able to go on a date because of how busy I was with my experiments. I need to make it up to him after the expedition if both of us come back alive. As the lift creaked up, someone shouted from the crowd, " HEY HANJI!". I looked down and saw, "Flegel?" I muttered, curious that he was shouting my name out. "TAKE BACK WALL MARIA! THE FUTURE OF MANKIND IS IN YOUR HAAAANDS!" he shouted.

Following his lead, many others shouted out encouragements. Some thanked Levi for saving the town and to that Levi muttered, "Someone's got a big mouth". " Well, with the commotion we made, of course they'd find out." I muttered, answering Levi. The replacement for Mike said, "The thing is, all the meat we ordered was from the Reeves company." The replacement for Squad leader Ness merely said, "Damn that Flegel".

Suddenly, I heard people beside us shouting "YEAH YOU CAN COUNT ON US!". I turned and saw Levi squad shouting out to the people. Other soldiers were muttering about how the Survey corps never had a send off like this before. Erwin replied to them by saying, "As far as I'm aware, this is a first" before starting to shout himself. Both Levi and I looked at him surprised. I looked down at the crowd to see (Y/N) gaping at the sight too. After all, this was completely unexpected for someone as calm as Erwin.

(Y/N) POV

It was surprising to see Uncle Erwin so excited about an expedition. Specially, one that could cause many casualties. The Survey Corps were gone after a while and the crowd dispersed. I went back to the Survey corps Headquarters to get my squad to help me receive all the furniture and make my home liveable. "I have a home now..." I thought gleefully. I finally was able to find happiness. I took my horse back from the stable and galloped towards the headquarter.

When I opened the door to the common room, I saw my squad complaining about not being able to join the expedition.

[(Y/N) Squad/ Special operations squad 2:

(Y/N) squad was supposed to be one of the four commanding squads beside Levi squad, Hanji squad and Drik squad but due to her pregnancy leave, Marlene squad was a temporary replacement for her.

Members:

Diana Becker: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Very good at communicating with other soldiers and after being trained by (Y/N), 3DMG techniques are improving. Appointed as (Y/N)'s second in command.

Heinrich Fischer: A transfer from Garrison from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is medic. Good at 3DMG and getting better with (Y/N)'s training. Excellent at hand to hand combat according to (Y/N) as he was the only person who knew the right strategy to use on (Y/N), losing nonetheless. Not too good in social skills

Stefan Wagner: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is Veterinarian. Good at 3DMG and improving. Good at social skills and will implement any command given as flawlessly as possible.

Marie Schwarz: A military police transfer from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is dealing with finance. A serious soldier who is good at almost all sectors except hand to hand combat due to a lacking in understanding of the enemy's moves but that could be improved by team activities. However, it seems like she had difficulty with authority, specially (Y/N)'s.]

"Damn it... This was one important expedition and we couldn't join... They will all be awarded as heroes when they return and we will only be watching.." Heinrich complained to the other bored soldiers as I walked in. They were all seniors in case of Trainee corps records but younger than myself by a few years given that I joined a bit late. "Heinrich, if you are so keen on being Titan fodder, go ahead, take your horse and follow them. They haven't gone too far yet." I told him, shutting him up.

"Sorry, squad leader (Y/N). He was just being an ass" Diana muttered, smacking Heinrich on his head. They probably were in a relationship or something, given that I walked onto them kissing one time. I pretended I didn't see it though. "Well, be thankful that you aren't fighting Titans with your lives in your hands and instead you're helping me with decorating my home. I want you all at my home in 30 minutes. I'll be going to the furniture store and getting the furniture." I ordered them as they answered with a "Hai!" before I left for the furniture store. It was already getting dark. I took my horse there, paid the furniture makers, rented a wagon and with the help of the furniture maker's apprentice, took all the furniture home. The squad was already home and with their help, I started arranging the house.

"Diana, go arrange the kitchen utensils. Stefan and Heinrich, move that shelf away from the window." I commanded. Most of the house was already decorated. I just needed to get the bedsheets arranged, bring all of Levi's and my own books from the headquarters, except of course, the work related ones. "Marie, we are going to get the books" I commanded her and we went to the headquarter.

It took a while to arrange all the books as I did that by dividing the books by genres. After the whole decoration process was done, I thanked the squad and dismissed them. It was about 10 pm when I started cleaning the house. After an hour of cleaning, I felt like the house was clean enough for Levi's standards and I locked the front gate and went back to the headquarter. We weren't supposed to be living in this house till we get married. I was tired beyond measures after all the work and decided to pass out on the bed.

A few hours later

Levi POV

"Looks like the beast titan has us in it's sights. This place is about to turn into a honeycomb. Erwin, if you tell me there's no way left for us to fight back, I'll start preparing for defeat." I told Erwin. This operation was meaningless. Of course there was no chance of victory after this. If we had to get some survivors... I would have to give up my life... Would (Y/N) be okay with it? I'm sure she would be devastated... But I had to do this. For humanity and for a good future of my child... Can (Y/N) raise him on her own? "It could be a she too you know" (Y/N)'s voice rang in my head. She always pointed that out whenever I called our child a 'he'.

"Eren's sprawled out there, right? Go wake him up. You and some of the others get on him and run. That way we'll have at least a few survivors." I continued. I remembered the last time I slept with her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps... "The recruits and survivors from Hanji's squad can scatter on horses all at once and try to head home... How does that sound? With them acting as bait, you and the others on Eren will be able to escape." I concluded. I remember her snuggling into my arms, burying her head in my chest... "And what are you going to do, Levi?" Erwin asked me. Was that really the last time I saw her? And I really made a shitty promise that I couldn't keep that time?

"I'll deal with that beast. I'll lead him away" I answered. Am I really ready to choose humanity over her? Over our kid? "No. You can't even get close to him." Erwin stated. I remembered her rare smiles. I imagined a future where she and my kid will be safe. If this sacrifice is worth it, I can do this. "Probably not. But, if you and Eren make it back alive, there's still hope. Isn't that the kind of situation we're in now? This is a major defeat. Honestly, I'm not expecting anyone to make it home alive at this point." I replied. "True. If we don't have any way of fighting back." Erwin stated calmly. I was surprised. Did he have anything up his sleeve?

"Do you have one?" I asked him, genuinely surprised. "Yes" he stated. At this point, I was annoyed at him. What was he thinking? Why didn't he say this to me before? "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you put that ugly mouth of yours to work sooner and say something?" I asked, genuinely annoyed. "If this plan goes well, you may be able to defeat that beast. But only if we sacrifice the lives of all the recruits here, as well as mine." Erwin mentioned. Sacrificing Erwin? Didn't I promise (Y/N) that I'll keep him safe? If he makes a decision like this, how can I face (Y/N) again?

"You're absolutely right. No matter what we do, most of us will surely die. Infact, it's most likely that we will all be wiped out. So our only choice is to assume we are all expendable and work from there. We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing. So I doubt any of them will charge forward unless I was leading the way. Which would mean I'd be the very first to die. Without ever learning what was in that basement." Erwin said. "Huh?" I asked, confused.

This man was about to die and all he cared about was a shitty basement? He sighed and said, "I just want to go to that basement. Everything I have done, I did thinking that this day would come. That someday, I would be able to check my answers. There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die. Then, the dream I shared with my father would flash through my head. And now those answers are close enough to reach out and grab... They are right here... But, Levi, can you see them? All of our comrades? Our comrades are watching us. They want to know what we will do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause. Because they may be gone but their fight isn't over. But then again, I promised (Y/N) that I will be with her at her wedding... She doesn't deserve to lose more... I broke enough promises to her before. Will the last thing I told her be a promise that I couldn't keep? Or is it all pointless and nothing more than my own childish delusion?".

I looked at Erwin for a while, my mind full of doubt. He was implying that I have to make the decision. This was much worse. (Y/N) would never forgive me. She will despise me. I might lose the only chance I ever had of having a family. Then again, didn't I decide that sacrificing my life for the safety of (Y/N) and our child was worth it? Why should this be any different? If wall Maria is captured, humanity will be much closer to victory. (Y/N) and our child will be safer. I'd rather have (Y/N) hate me than get her killed because I was weak. I knelt down in front of Erwin and told him, "You've fought a good fight. We have only come this far thanks to you. I'm making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us. Lead the recruits straight into hell. And I'll take down the beast titan.". To that he smiled slightly at me. "Keep (Y/N) safe. You two have my blessings." he said, startling me before he explained the plan to me.

"You want me to approach the beast by myself using vertical manoeuvring? There's nothing around him! There isn't a single tree or house or anything else I can use!" I asked Erwin, not understanding what he was talking about. "No... You have targets that are the perfect height. They are standing there all in a row aren't they? Use the titans to sneak up on and ambush the beast titan." Erwin explained.

I stood beside him as he convinced all the soldiers to give up their lives. Deep down, I knew it was all my decision. I felt revolted by myself. Does a person like me even deserve the happiness and stability of a family? When I can decide to send so many people to their deaths, bringing tragedy to so many other families... "No. I won't regret my decision now. It is all for the greater good" I convinced myself as I stood, watching the faces of people who knew they were about to die meaningless deaths.

The plan was put into action. I maneuvered towards the beast titan, killing it's titan army in progress. I saw the suicide charge down there. "I'm sorry" I told them in my mind as I slashed the napes of titans.

"Turning into titan puts a heavy strain on your body... So you can't transform again while you're busy healing. Isn't that right?" I asked the blonde man who I had cut out of the beast titan and stuffed my blade in his mouth. I pushed the blade forward, making it come out of an eye socket through his mouth before saying, "Hey, answer me. Don't you have any manners?". "I can't kill him. Not yet. Isn't there anyone still alive? It doesn't matter how injured they are as long as they are breathing... I can use this shot to turn them into a titan... Then I can have them eat this guy and steal the power of the beast titan. Isn't there anyone?" I thought. An image of Erwin passed through my mind.

"Isn't there someone I can bring back-" my thoughts were interrupted by the cart titan's mouth. I assumed that it tried to eat me but I moved away and saw it taking the beast titan and run away. "Hey! Where are you going? Stop. I'm not done with you yet..." I said, my voice sounding like a defeated person. Did I just lose to him at the last moment? The beast titan commanded the remaining titans to come at me. "Wait... I swore to him... That I'd kill you no matter what." I muttered. Anger surged into me as I continued, "I SWORE TO HIM!" as I changed my blades and charged towards the titans coming at me, slashing their napes off as fast as possible so that I could follow the beast and end him.

I flew to the wall as fast as possible to find the beast titan in front of Eren. Eren had his blade to the throat of a limbless figure, possibly the colossal titan. The beast titan saw me and started running again as I flew towards Eren. My gas finished off just as I reached Eren. "That was the last bit of gas I had. I'm going after him. Give me all your gas and blades. Hurry!" I commanded Eren just before a black figure behind him coughed faintly.

The black figure was Armin. Eren was going insane after figuring out that Armin was alive. He shouted at me excitedly to give the titan serum to Armin. A certain gut feeling made me hesitate. What if Erwin isn't dead? I was handing the serum out to Eren when Floch arrived with Erwin on his back. He said that Erwin is alive and gravely injured. I took the serum back, sure that I will inject it to Erwin. "Captain?" Eren asked, surprised and scared. I checked Erwin's nose with my hand.

"He's still breathing. He's still alive...". I can keep (Y/N)'s promise... "We're giving this injection to Erwin" I stated. Eren suddenly stood up, facing me. "You just said you'd use it on Armin.." he told me, tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm choosing to keep alive the man who will save humanity" I replied to Eren. Behind me, Mikasa got her blade out.

"You guys, do you have the faintest damn clue on what you're doing? We are talking about Erwin Smith. The commander of the Survey corps. You're telling me to sit here and let him die? There's no time. Get out of my way." I told them before Eren held the box of titan serum in my hands. "Eren, look past your feelings." I told him. "My feelings? Why did you hesitate before handing over the injection?" Eren asked me. Wasn't it obvious? I was trying to keep a promise that I made. I just had to take the chance...

"I was considering the possibility that Erwin was alive." I answered. "I don't see how you ever could ever have predicted that Floch would bring the dying commander." Eren stated. "You're right. But now that Erwin is here, we're using it on him." I told him my final decision. To my surprise, he still tugged on to the box and I had no choice other than punching him on his face, and sending him flying. Mikasa ran at me with her sword and jumped on me with her blade on my throat. Why couldn't I fight her? I was always stronger than her, but, was it guilt that made me feel this way? The fact that I probably was being selfish? That I wanted Erwin alive more for personal reasons than just the fate of humanity?

Hanji pulled Mikasa off me. She explained to her that everyone lost people dear to them today. She lost Moblit, how she regretted not going out with him even once, how she wished to bring him back too along with many other comrades. I was up on my foot now, kneeling in front of Erwin with the injection out. Suddenly, I felt someone grab my feet. "Heichou, have you heard of the ocean?" he said. He told me how much Armin wanted to see it. Floch tried to stop him but he said it anyway. I realised that he wasn't any different from me. He wanted his best friend back. I wanted (Y/N)'s happiness. I didn't have any right to choose who is to live and who is to die but at that moment, I was forced to make a choice. I chose to give in to my personal gain.

"Troops, clear the area! Erwin will turn into a titan and eat Berthold!" I commanded. "Fools, all of them... Like little kids... The way they scream and flail..." I muttered as I walked towards Erwin with Berthold. Suddenly, flashes of my conversation with Kenny came to my mind. "They couldn't keep going unless they were drunk on something..." he told me. I folded Erwin's jacket up to his elbow. I brought the injection towards his hand. "They were all slaves to something. Even him", Kenny's voice rang in my ear just as Erwin's hand shot up. " Teacher... How'd y... find out that they don't exist?" Erwin muttered.

Realisation flowed through my mind. Someone as self obsessed as Kenny decided to die when he achieved his dreams. I remembered the conversation I had with Erwin before the expedition. The one where he said that he didn't have much plans for after he finds out what was in the basement. The conversation from before the suicide march rang in my head. "There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die." I remembered Erwin saying that. Erwin was able to work his wonders only because of his curiosity on what was in the basement. If he found out what was in the basement, he won't have any reason to fight anymore. Sure, he loved (Y/N) but that had nothing to do with this fight. He already gave the responsibility of (Y/N)'s safety to me before the suicide march.

Even if Erwin lived, he wouldn't be able to contribute much to humanity's victory anymore. Armin on the other hand, still has a dream that was far from being achieved. "I need to keep (Y/N) and my child safe. No matter what." I thought. Erwin's death was crucial for humanity's victory. With that thought, I injected Armin with the titan serum.

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi attack on titan #levi x reader #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #levi ackerman

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