#and Nancy stops hating him for things he can’t change about himself

[dinitride-art]

Nancy and Mike (and Robin) - Character Relationship Analysis/Exploration

Nancy and Mike’s relationship has always been really interesting to me. We don’t see Nancy pull away from Mike but we see Mike reacting to Nancy’s absence in his life. He tells their parents about Steve, and takes Nancy’s things, and tries to hold onto their relationship in the only way he knows how to. Because Nancy acknowledges him when he’s annoying her and when she’s angry at him. Or when he’s in danger. That’s it.

Nancy doesn’t play D&D with him anymore. She doesn’t talk to him anymore. Even in season four, the most we see of their relationship is Nancy driving Mike to school. And even though Nancy’s been pushing Mike away, he still goes to her when Eddie tells him and Dustin to find a replacement for Lucas. Mike keeps trying to come into her life, and Nancy keeps pushing him out.

Nancy is constantly trying to find a place in the world. She’s with Steve in season one because she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to do. And she gets good grades and studies and goes to party’s in season two. Even to the detriment of her relationships. However, she doesn’t take any blame for her actions, because of the societal pressure for her and everyone else to conform. Jonathan confronts her about it when they’re trying to find Will and Barb and she’s immediately defensive. She gets back together with Steve and blames Jonathan for not making a move sooner. Barb tells Nancy that she’s making a mistake with Steve, and Nancy tells her to go home.

But Barb dies.

Nancy blames herself for that. She blames herself for a lot of things. But she doesn’t want to understand why she blames herself for these things. Jonathan’s already told her that living married to Steve and conforming to societal expectations is bullshit. And she knows it is. But admitting that she’s hurt people by conforming, and trying to get them to conform, means that she’s hurt more than just herself. She’s hurt Barb. And Jonathan. And she even hurt Steve.

But most of all, she doesn’t want to admit that she’s hurt, and has been hurting, Mike the whole time.

That’s why she doesn’t like Robin at first. Because Robin is very similar to Mike. She’s loud, and impulsive, and says the wrong thing at the wrong time. And she can’t help it in the slightest. It’s not Robin’s fault that Nancys cold to her at first. It’s got nothing to do with Robin. Nancy just doesn’t want to admit that Mike hasn’t done anything wrong either. Because that means she’s wrong. And that means that she’s hurt him.

Mike and Robin both display autistic traits. Honestly, a lot of the characters in Stranger Things do, but these two are the ones with the most on screen brushback against those traits. Everyone has autistic traits, and having autistic traits doesn’t necessarily mean that someone’s autistic but. Considering that this is a writing choice, I think it’s fair to assume, at the very least, that they’re autistic-coded. And the reactions we are told and that we see, like Robin telling Nancy that she doesn’t pick up on social queues easily, and that her mother thinks she’s got something wrong with her. Versus what we see with Mike, people calling him annoying and an asshole and oblivious. Going to Lucas for help with El because he doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do.

The key difference between Mike and Robin is what we see and what we’re told. Robin always tells us what she’s thinking and feeling and who she is. But with Mike we’re shown what’s happening. Same with them being queer characters, we’re told that Robin likes girls, and we’re shown that Mike likes Will. Robin is a queer character for a heteronormative audience. Mike is a queer character, regardless of the audience’s biases. Robin tells us that she doesn’t pick up on social queues. She explains that to Nancy, and Nancy is confronted with what we’ve seen the entire time with Mike.

Mike doesn’t pick up on social queues either. And Nancy knows this, and she’s seen all of his similarities to Robin as a bad thing. And she’s told him that he’s doing something wrong for being that way.

The reason that Nancy doesn’t like Mike, why she pushes him away, and calls him annoying and an asshole, is because Mike can’t be like her.

He can’t conform in the same way that Nancy does. And she doesn’t understand why he can’t.

Until she meets Robin.

And there’s a neon sign in front of her face that says, “Mike didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t his fault. He’s different, and so is Robin, and you told him that something was wrong with him.”

Nancy hurt him. She pushed him away. Told him in every way possible that his interests, and friends, and personality were wrong. And that she didn’t want a brother who was like that.

And now she knows why. Robin told her why.

Nancy doesn’t hate Mike. She’s scared that she was wrong. That Mike hasn’t really done anything wrong. That it was her fault that their relationship is like this.

And she’s scared.

Because she’s a lot more like Mike than she wants to admit.

[wheneverfeasible]

Omegaverse AU where Steve presents as an alpha just like his father always wanted, just like everyone expects, just like he was supposed to. He exclusively dates betas, scoffing and saying omegas weren’t good enough for him. He said they were too needy, too annoying, too pathetic. He was an alpha.

He hates it.

The truth is that Steve always wanted to be an omega, always wanted to soft and taken care of, wanted to be pupped up, wanted to avoid the stupid knotheads that he was forced to surround himself with, forced to pretend to be. He never dated an omega because he wants to be one and wants desperately for another alpha to take him as their own.

Enter Eddie, an alpha unlike any other. He scorns alphas like Steve and Tommy and Billy and all the other knotheads who act like they’re so much better than anyone else just because of their secondary gender. He rants on top of cafeteria tables about it, has ever since he presented and actually had the other alphas try to talk to him at first as if he was one of them.

No fucking thank you.

Steve is…not enamored, but curious about the super senior. Nancy broke up with him, he and Tommy are sort of on the outs though still barely friends, and Billy has a one-sided rivalry for the crown Steve currently wore, not that Steve truly cared about it.

Blah blah blah, Steve propositions Eddie after watching him for a while, realizing that Eddie might just be the sort of alpha who would fuck Steve and let him pretend to be an omega for a little while, meanwhile Eddie thinks King Steve wants to start shit with him like a knotheaded alpha and is wary and lightly mocking at first, until he realizes what Steve wants.

Steve and Eddie become fuckbuddies, nothing more, where Steve gets to role play as an omega and have Eddie dominate him, who seems to know that Steve wants to pretend to be cared for rather than playing the slut role he’s been doing as an alpha, and Steve actually breaks down in tears the first time Eddie calls him “good boy” and “good omega” though they both pretend he didn’t.

And you see, bitching isn’t really well known yet. It’s not really a thing that’s spoken about amongst polite society. So neither of them clock it when, as their feelings for each other grow, Steve becomes a little more emotional, a little more irrational in regards to Eddie’s attention, and they use scent blockers and neutralizers all the time to keep their affairs secret, so they don’t notice Steve’s scent changing, or the fact that he’s starting to become more than just artificially wet, or his knot doesn’t really pop like it used to because they both steadfastly had ignored it for so long to play the role right.

And it’s just not known. It’s not something that’s really spoken about, so they’d never think about it.

So no, they don’t notice anything until it’s too late, until it happens, and Steve is suddenly thrown into a spontaneous heat after an intense basketball game or something, the final stages of his transition. There was too much sweating, too much testosterone, that the blockers and neutralizers don’t really cut it anymore.

Billy makes the winning shot as the heat hits, making Steve’s legs collapse under him as slick coats his drawers and shorts, dripping down his thighs. All alpha heads suddenly towards him as his new true scent bursts out, surprise on all their faces, even hunger on some.

Billy and Tommy both take a step towards him but are forced to stop by a growl that reverberates through Steve as if it were his own as the familiar scent hits him of blockers and tobacco and weed and leather and that stupid cheap shampoo/conditioner/body wash 3-in-1 that Eddie uses as strong arms wrap around him and dark hair cascades around him.

Because he’s there. His alpha. He’s always there, hiding in the corner or under bleachers or somewhere where Steve can’t see him and he’s always there because this stupid thing between them has become so much more than either of them ever expected and he’s so protective of his omega because Steve is his omega even when he was an alpha because he was always an omega even when he wasn’t biologically.

It isn’t ideal. It far from fucking ideal, but Eddie whisks Steve away in his arms, whispering those words of praise that used to only belong in their role play, but Steve is burning up and he can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait can’twaitcan’twaitcan’tfuckingwait—

And Eddie pulls him into classroom, locks and bars the door with desks and chairs and whatever else, and then he’s there he’s there he’stherehe’stherehe’sthere.

Eddie wants to bite, wants to mark, wants to claim, but he knows now isn’t the time so all he does is help Steve through it while he’s all but delirious from the sudden heat rewriting him completely.

Afterwards, they will talk. They will confess. They will admit. They will acknowledge that they were his alpha, his omega, and had been for longer than either of them realized. They will slink to Eddie’s car, go to Eddie’s trailer, will wash off all scents artificial and other until the them, finally just them and they will find the truth in each other. They will find a love that thrived against all odds. A love that beat fate itself.

Eddie does eventually bite him, and Steve completes it with his own, and eventually Steve gets his and his alpha’s pups like he always wanted and he can bask in the knowledge that he was exactly where he was always meant to be, with an alpha that loves and cherishes him exactly as he is, with a pack both of his own pups and the pups he all but adopted as their babysitter and real friends he gathered along the way he never thought he would be lucky enough to have.

It’s not easy at first. Of course it’s not. Something practically unheard of happened in a small conservative town like Hawkins. There were bigots and hateful people galore, and at times it even tested Steve and Eddie, but they always survived and always came out on the other side hand-in-hand and triumphant in their growing love.

They know that the best things in life are worth fighting for. And they vowed to never stop fighting. For themselves, for each other, and for everyone and everything they hold dear.

And they have fantastic sex along the way.

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 10

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of Billy groping reader, Billy saying gross things about reader (as always), mentions of weed and alcohol, Steve’s pov!

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Steve learns how to move on from the past and give the love he wanted a second try.

Word count: 5.1k

A/N: @mysticmunson thank you for helping me with ideas and being a huge inspiration as always, I love u!! 🫶🏻

series masterlist

-

Winter break is almost over and 1984 has passed in a blur. So much has happened, things that Steve didn’t think would happen. Had someone told him that he would start a new year without you, a year back, he would call them crazy. You had always been there, walking into every year with him.

This time you are not here. You weren’t the one to kiss him at midnight. You aren’t the one he will go home with. He can’t help but wonder if you kissed him at midnight. If you think about him the way he thinks about you, right now.

He shouldn’t be. He should be thinking about her. Nancy who is willing to stay with him even after he confessed to her that he still loves you. The day after you left him standing in your driveway, he told her everything. He told her about the kiss that almost happened if you hadn’t pushed him away. He told her about the fight you two have had. He told her about the party. He came clean about everything. He promised himself that he wouldn’t lie or keep any secrets anymore. He wants to be better.

She didn’t get angry at him like he thought she would. She seemed to understand it but she was hurt and she was ready to end things. He was too. 

He didn’t see a point in keeping the relationship going. Why should he? You are the one for him, you are the one he wants, you are the one he loves. 

They had talked about breaking up but he hated the thought of being alone, he hated the feeling of being unneeded and unloved. He thought about your words – She is the one for you. You should be with her. I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.

You had always been the selfless one, the one who would sacrifice her feelings to save someone else's. You saw something in him with Nancy, something that you didn’t see in him when he was still with you and he couldn’t help but think that maybe you were right. 

Maybe she is the one for him, after all.

Maybe he just really has to let you go so he can let her in. Maybe he can be good for her, the way he could never be good for you. Maybe he can be a better boyfriend for her. Maybe he can change. Maybe he can learn. Maybe he can learn how to stop loving you. Maybe he can be happy with her. Maybe he can make her happy. Maybe he can get you back someday. Maybe. 

They didn’t break up. He didn’t leave and she didn’t leave him but they settled on a break. 

On Christmas night, he went on a walk and passed by your house. He saw you with him and the sight of you standing under the falling snow, smiling up at him as though he is the only good thing in this world made him feel sick. He didn’t stick around long enough to see that you had never kissed him, that you simply went back to throwing snowballs at each other.

He went back to Nancy the next day and asked for a second chance, a fresh start. He didn’t question why she hesitated, he didn’t question the guilty look in her eyes. She said yes and that’s all it mattered. 

She is all that matters now. 

Steve might never let you go but he is willing to try. 

You don’t want him anymore and the look in your eyes showed him that you won’t ever give him a second chance again. It’s over.

You are moving on. 

And so should he. 

And he tries, he really tries. But when school starts and he sees you again, he can’t ignore the pain in his chest when you walk past him like you are nothing but strangers. 

When he left you, you pretended that he didn’t exist. You didn’t acknowledge his presence, you always acted like he wasn’t there, like he was a ghost. 

But now, after you talked things out and you were the one to leave, this time, things are different. You don’t pretend that he doesn’t exist, you do acknowledge his presence now and you don’t act like he isn’t there. You see him and you don’t pretend to not see him when you walk past him. Your eyes lock when you see each other in the hallway or in the parking lot but the look in your eyes that he was used to, is long gone. There is nothing in your eyes when you look at him. There is no love, no happiness, no excitement, no warmth, no longing. All these things are long gone. The way you look at him now, is the way you look at a stranger you pass by. He has become a stranger to you and that hurts so much more than being ignored by you. 

You don’t see him as your friend anymore, you don’t see him as your past lover anymore, you don’t see him as anything good in your life. 

Every time he thinks that it can’t hit him any harder, it hits him even harder. The realization that he is nothing but a stranger to you now, broke his heart all over again and took everything in him not to break down in the school's hallway. 

A month had passed since the night you had become strangers and while you seem to have a great time, Steve is trying his hardest to keep himself together, to be a good boyfriend for her. 

Billy’s laughter pulls him out of his thoughts, he narrows his eyes at the blond, who pushes Tommy back so he can look at himself in the mirror. 

The smell of the locker room makes Steve feel sick and he can’t wait to get out. A cloud of cologne mixed with sweat and the fog from the showers hangs over the room. He looks into the mirror as he dries his hair with the towel. Drops of water dribble down his chest. Steve looks at Eddie through the mirror. He is surprised to see him here. Usually, he skips gym class. His friend Jeff is standing next to him as he puts his shirt on, laughing at something Eddie had whispered to him. 

Eddie is still shirtless, his jeans hang low on his hips, the chain jingles as he fastens his belt. Steve can’t help but compare himself to Eddie. His hair is darker and longer and so are his eyes. He has tattoos, on his arms and on his chest – something that he doesn’t have. He wears rings and chains, clothes that Steve would never wear. 

Is Eddie your type? Is he the kind of guy you go for now?

“Hey Munson!” 

Steve glances at Tommy, who is already wearing a smirk on his face as he looks the metalhead up and down. 

Eddie turns around to face the jock. 

“I never seen you in P.E., are you trying to impress someone?” 

“Yeah, your mom.” Eddie smirks and turns back around to put his shirt on.

Billy snorts, licking his lips, he glances at Steve, “nah, he’s trying to impress someone else.” 

Tommy notices the smirk on Billy’s face. A laugh falls from his lips, “aw, is the freak trying to impress the queen?”

Jeff rolls his eyes and looks down as he puts his shoes on. He already knows what’s coming next.

“I don’t think you can impress her with your shitty car and your dirty trailer, Munson.”

Jeff notices the way Eddie clenches jaw, the way his eyes fill with anger. 

Steve narrows his eyes at Billy and Tommy. 

“Yeah. I mean going from a rich kid to some lowlife trailer trash–” 

“Shut the hell up, Tommy,” Steve snaps at his old friend. “Leave him alone.”

Everyone in the locker room, including Eddie, turns to look at Steve in shock. Never has Steve ever stood up for anyone, let alone someone like Eddie. 

Steve is sick of the cruel words he hears daily, they may not be directed at him but he still can’t stand them. He doesn’t like him but Eddie doesn’t deserve this. He helped him and made sure he got home safe when he got drunk at the Hideout, he owes this to him. 

He glares at his old friend and steps towards him. 

“Put your clothes on and get the fuck out of here, man. I’m sick of you assholes.” 

Tommy laughs in surprise. 

“Wheeler is turning you into a pussy, Steve.” Billy says as he looks at him over Tommy’s shoulder.

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, he clenches his jaw. 

Tommy chuckles to himself and shakes his head, “he was always a pussy.”

Eddie looks at Steve, waiting for him to react. To his surprise, he turns around and continues to put on his clothes. 

“Says a guy who runs after balls and his cheating girlfriend.”

Jeff snaps his head up to look at his friend, he holds his fist up to his mouth as he tries to keep himself from laughing.

Steve looks at Eddie in surprise and narrows his eyes at Tommy, whose face gets redder each passing second. His breathing picks up and he clenches his fists. 

“What did you just say?” Tommy mumbles as he walks towards Eddie, who smirks at him. 

It’s no secret that Carol is cheating on Tommy, she’s been caught with a few too many basketball players behind the bleachers and even tried to make a move on Billy, in front of Tommy.  

“You heard me,” Eddie says, smirking. He isn’t afraid of Tommy or any of the other guys that try to give him a hard time. He isn’t immune to the cruel words or the bullying but he is good at hitting them back with harsh words, not caring that he might get hit with something more than a few words. Eddie put on armor and a front that keeps people like Tommy away from him, they always make sure to keep their distance – too afraid of the freak who worships the devil.

Billy looks at Eddie, he raises his brows. 

“You’re getting a little bit too comfortable back there, freak.”

“Just speaking the truth,” Eddie shrugs, snorting at Tommy who tries to intimidate him with a glare. He doesn’t step close enough to be able to even throw a punch, he keeps a safe distance, as always. 

“Careful there, Hagans. Or you might get sacrificed to the devil tonight.” Billy smirks.

Tommy finally backs away, shaking his head. 

Steve sighs to himself, he grabs his backpack and walks towards the door. He wonders how he could ever be friends with someone like Tommy. 

Why didn’t he listen to you when you told him that he was no real friend? 

Why didn’t he listen to you when you told him how awful he was?

Why didn’t he care when you told him how much you hated how he acted when he was around Tommy and Carol? 

How couldn’t he see how awful they were when he was still with you? 

Would things be different if he dropped them earlier on? 

Would things be different if he dated her first?

Steve steps out into the hallway. It’s quiet and no one is around after the last period, no one except for you. 

His breath gets caught in his throat.

You are here, leaning against the wall, looking down at the book in your hand. You are wearing your cheer uniform, you let your hair loose, the green scrunchie is around your wrist. The dark denim jacket is thrown over your shoulders. 

You haven’t seen him yet, you are too absorbed in the book you are reading. 

Another deja vu. 

This moment takes him back to all the times you waited for him after cheer practice. He would walk out of the locker room to find you waiting for him, sitting on the floor, reading a book or drawing in your notebook. 

The door shuts behind him and you look up, finally noticing him. 

He waits for something, he doesn’t know what but he waits to see that look in your eyes. 

The longing, the sadness, the love. 

He doesn’t. 

There’s nothing in your eyes, nothing except for disappointment because he is not the one you have been waiting for. You look over his shoulder before your eyes meet his again, you give him a tight lipped smile, the way you would give to a stranger. It hurts. 

“Hi,” he mumbles with a slight, sad smile on his face. 

“Hey,” you mumble before you look back down at the book in your hand. 

The door opens behind him and he steps to the side. Eddie and Jeff walk out, glancing at him as they step into the hallway. 

“Y/n, you didn’t have to wait for me,” Jeff jokes, putting his hand over his heart.

You giggle. 

Eddie nods at Steve before he turns away to look at you. 

Steve watches the way you greet Eddie, the way your eyes light up and a huge smile takes over your face when you look at him. He watches the way you wrap your arms around him.

“I can’t believe you didn’t skip,” you grin and squeeze his shoulder. 

Eddie rolls his eyes but he smiles at you, “I’m trying to graduate.” 

You put the book in your backpack and pick it up, throwing it over your shoulders. You hook your arm around Eddie’s and grin at him, “mhmm, you’re doing good.”

You are helping him graduate, the way you wanted to help him. Steve looks at you but you don’t spare him a second glance. Your attention is elsewhere. 

He watches you leave. He watches the way Eddie throws his arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him, ruffling your hair playfully. 

Steve looks down, he swallows the lump in his throat and turns around to leave.

-

February, 14th 1985 

Steve looks down at the note in his hand, a smile is tugging at his lips. His heart skips a beat when he looks at the red flowers in his other hand. For the first time in a while, he is excited. 

It’s Valentine’s day. 

He is taking Nancy out on a date. He had planned it all weeks ago. First, he will take her out to dinner at Enzo’s and then he will take her home where he had prepared a surprise for her. 

He looks at the note she had left in his jacket this morning. He puts it back in his pocket and walks towards the cash register, greeting the old man behind it. He places the flowers and the chocolate on the counter and reaches for his wallet. 

A love song is playing on the radio, the store is decorated with pink paper hearts. 

“Going on a date?” The old man asks, smiling at Steve. 

“Yeah, I’m taking my girlfriend out to dinner.”

The doors slide open and as he hears the sound of your voice, his smile instantly falls. He can’t help but look. 

You’re not alone, of course you are with him and you look so beautiful but different. You are wearing a skirt, one that is certainly too short for this weather, the fishnet tights do nothing to protect your skin from the cold. You are wearing platform boots and a short leather coat – dark colors, dark nails, red lips, curls and bangs. You are starting to look like the female version of him. 

He wonders if your personality had changed as much as your appearance has.

“This is gonna be the best night ever.” Steve hears Eddie say. 

“I know it will be,” you giggle, “I still got the credit card my dad gave me, we can book a hotel room afterwards.”

Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at you, playfully. 

You disappear in the snack aisle, your voices fade away and so does the excited look on Steve’s face. 

“That’ll be $9.80.” 

It’s very clear to him that you are on a date. With Eddie. And that’s okay, right? It’s okay that you are on a date with someone else. It’s okay that you make yourself look pretty for someone else. It’s okay that you have moved on. 

He should be happy for you, right? 

He should be happy to know that you are not in pain anymore. 

But then why does it hurt so bad?

He shakes his head and looks back at the cashier, he places a ten dollar bill on the counter, he takes the flowers and the chocolate and leaves, not wanting to risk running into you.

-

Living in a small town, means running into the same people, all the time. People you don’t want to see, people you want to avoid, people you don’t like, people you wish you wouldn’t think about anymore. 

Steve had a hard time getting over you, it took him weeks to accept the fact that you and him, will never be a thing again – platonic or romantic. You are a part of his past, a part that he can never get back. So he let you go or he convinced himself that he did. 

While things may not be ideal, he feels content with the way his life is now. He is happy. He has a girlfriend, a group of rowdy kids that had become a huge part of his life, he will graduate soon and he is in love. 

He let go of the past that he kept pining after.

It’s still weird to see you and not be with you but it’s okay now. He can walk past you and not feel his heart breaking when you don’t acknowledge him anymore. He can hear your voice and not long to hear you talk to him. He can look at you and not feel himself yearn for you. 

He prefers not to see you, which has become one of his biggest challenges in the past few months. Everywhere he goes, he sees you, and every single time, you are with Eddie. Well, maybe not every single time. Sometimes you are with Heather and Chrissy or your new friend, Robin Buckley. Steve knows her from Mrs. Click’s class, she is nice but he doesn’t know much about her, except that she is in the school band and your newest friend.

You look happier than ever. Your eyes are shining with happiness every time he sees you, your skin is glowing and you seem to have a constant smile on your face, especially when you are with Eddie. 

It’s been three months ever since you had gone separate ways and you changed, a lot. Your hair is longer now, your clothes are different, your music taste has changed, you are learning how to play guitar, you write songs with Eddie and you work at the record store three times a week after school – he only knows that because Max Mayfield told him, who apparently is your number one fan now. You are her english tutor and ‘the much cooler older friend’. She loves to brag about you to the boys and to him. Steve likes her and she somehow became a little sister figure in his life but he hates the smug look on her face whenever she tells him stories about you. 

He doesn’t want to think about you, he doesn’t want to talk about you, he doesn’t want to see you. 

But it’s almost impossible to leave the house and not run into you. Whether it’s the school’s hallway, the classroom, the grocery store, the movies, some house party, the cafe downtown – he always runs into you. Tonight, it’s the diner. 

He didn’t even see you at first when he walked in. He was in a good mood all night, after a long day of studying with Nancy, he went to Benny’s Burgers to get some takeout for them. He placed his order and waited by the counter when he heard your laughter over the 70s music from the jukebox. 

Now he can’t take his eyes off of you. You are sitting in a booth with Eddie, his arm is behind you, his fingertips linger on your shoulder. You are both laughing. Your hair is a little messy, just like his. 

You are giggling, a lot. 

You must be drunk, Steve thinks. Or maybe, you are just this happy around him. 

Eddie dips the fries into the milkshake and feeds them to you which makes both of you laugh when the milkshake dripples down your chin. Steve forces himself to look away when Eddie catches it with his thumb, though he can’t keep his eyes away for too long. 

Steve wonders what the two of you are. With the way you are around each other all the time, you must be a couple by now. It looks like you are one. Steve doesn’t even notice that he is clenching his jaw and his fists when he watches how Eddie cups your cheeks and pulls you closer to kiss your cheek loudly, in the most obnoxious way. Steve can’t help but roll his eyes. 

He drums his fingers against the counter and narrows his eyes at you. You giggle at Eddie and grab his face, pulling him closer to you and try to kiss his cheek the way he kissed yours but your movements are sloppy and you end up kissing the corner of his mouth instead which for some reason, makes you both laugh harder. Now he is certain that you are both drunk or high or both. 

“Here’s your order, kid.”

Steve tears his eyes away from you and Eddie. He reaches for his wallet and turns to look at the waitress, placing the bills on the table and giving her tight lipped smile before he grabs the bag and turns around to leave without looking at you again. 

He doesn’t see or feel your eyes on him. 

-

It’s the last game of the season and Steve’s last game, altogether. He can’t believe that this will be all over soon. High school, basketball practice, games, lunch breaks with his girlfriend, studying. 

He feels anxious about his future. He decided to take the year off after he will graduate. And hopefully, he will go to college with Nancy, next fall. Deep down he knows it won’t happen, he can’t see himself going to college, he barely made it through senior year. 

He doesn’t know what will happen to him and his relationship with her when she goes off to college next year. 

He tries not to think about it too much. He tries to enjoy his remaining days at school and his last game. He bounces on his feet as he watches the cheerleaders perform. You are in the front, as always. 

“One has to be a real fucking idiot to dump someone with that ass.” 

An instant rush of anger rippels through him. Billy’s voice will never not make his blood boil. 

Billy smirks as he watches you bend down, his eyes flicker over to Eddie who surprisingly came to the game, probably just to watch you dance in your tiny cheerleader uniform. 

“She wouldn’t even look at the freak after I’d fuck her dumb.”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” Steve mumbles under his breath. 

Billy chuckles, he steps up beside him, narrowing his eyes at Steve. 

“Her taste has changed a lot,” he says, smirking. “Did you know that she listens to heavy metal now?” 

Steve scrunches his face up. He hates heavy metal. 

“She supports Munson’s shitty band and goes to concerts with him. Do you think they fuck in his shitty van?” 

Steve opens his mouth but Billy cuts him off again. 

“I bet they do. I bet she’s a little freak, that’s why she’s with him now.” 

Steve clenches his jaw, his eyes find Eddie who stands in the crowd, grinning at you. 

“That’s why she never looked happy with you, you didn’t fuck her good enough. The freak seems to do it better.” 

Maybe he is right. Steve never took care of you the way you always took care of him. You always made sure that he felt good, he never did the same for you and he feels ashamed about it. 

“I could still fuck her better though.”

“Shut the fuck up, man. She is not interested in you, she never was,” Steve snaps at him, ignoring the prying eyes of the other guys from the basketball team. 

Steve had realized that you were never interested in him when it was far too late to apologize for accusing you of things you never did. You didn’t care about Billy or any other guy but he didn’t trust you back then even though you never gave him a reason not to. He always waited for you to give him one though, he waited for you to hurt him, he waited for you to cheat on him, he waited for you to leave him for someone else, he waited for you to fail. But you never did.

You loved him, only him. You wanted him. You were good and loyal, you were an amazing girlfriend and you never deserved the things he did to you. 

He is angry at himself for how he treated you. He hates himself for how much he hurt you. He hates how he didn’t protect you from Billy, he hates how angry he got after he had touched you after you had pushed him off once, already. 

“Are you sure about that?” Billy smirks, “then why did she let me fuc–”

Steve grabs him by the collars of his shirt, he slams him against the wall. Finally, he has had enough of him. 

“She never let you do anything, you piece of shit,” Steve says, angrily. “You touched her without her permission, you made shit up about her. We both know that she would never touch you.”

Billy laughs at his words but Steve can see the anger flashing in his eyes. 

“But she did, she’s a little sl–”

Before Billy can even react, Steve throws a punch, slamming his fist into his jaw. 

“Dude!” Tommy yells. 

Some of the guys around him gasp, the others laugh. 

Billy doesn’t take long to recover, he ducks when Steve tries to throw another punch and hits him in the stomach before he throws a punch at his face. Steve stumbles back and almost falls to the ground if it wasn’t for Chase steadying him. 

“Guys, this is not the right moment!” Jason yells, holding his hands up as he tries to get in between them, “we’re supposed to go out there and fight the other team, not each oth–”

“Shut the fuck up, Carver!” Billy yells, “I’m sick of your motivation speeches.”

Jason clenches his jaw and steps back. 

Steve wipes the blood from under his nose, he breathes heavily as he stares Billy down. The guys look between them as they slowly inch towards each other, everyone tenses up, looking around to see if anyone is willing to get in between them. 

“You really wanna do this, asshole?” Billy asks, licking his lips. 

“I should’ve done that a long time ago, Hargrove.”

“Seriously?” Jason exclaims, throwing his hands up. “The game is about to start!” 

Billy walks towards Steve, he is never one to back down from a fight. He had been waiting for a reason to beat the shit out of Steve but so did Steve. He should have kicked his ass a long time ago but he always directed his anger at you, instead of the guy that tried to come in between you and him – the guy who made you uncomfortable. 

Steve feels the need to make things right, he knows that this won’t fix anything. It won’t take back all his actions but he still wants to hurt him. 

The tension is high and both Steve and Billy are glaring at each other. The guys look between them, anxiously. The music inside the gym is still playing, the cheerleaders are still dancing, unaware to the little fight that broke out behind the doors. 

Before any of them can throw any more punches, the coach walks in, taking away the chance for a fight to break out again. 

Billy glares at Steve, he wipes his chin and turns away from him but the look in his eyes tells him that they aren’t done yet. 

Steve scoffs, he is not done with him either. He tears his eyes away from him. He clenches his jaw. He feels so angry. He notices the way the others sigh in relief, the way they instantly relax when Steve and Billy back away from each other. 

When it’s time to walk out into the gym, Steve is at the very front. He forces a smile onto his face and waves at the people on the bleachers, his eyes lock with Nancy’s, they smile at each other. She doesn’t notice how tense he is, she doesn’t even notice the remains of blood under his nose or how red his knuckles are, how angry he still looks but you notice it. 

He looks at you, your eyes lock and for the first time in a while, there is no emptiness in your eyes when you look at him. You continue to clap your hands, still gripping the pompons tightly. The smile on your face begins to fade the longer you look at him. He sees the way you eye him up and down, the way you look at his knuckles and his nose that is still bleeding. He sees the way your eyes move over to Billy before you look back at him. Your brows furrow, your eyes flash with confusion and concern. It doesn’t take you long to figure out what happened. 

He doesn’t want to look at you but he can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. For a moment, you stare at each other. 

It feels like forever but the moment only last for a few seconds. Though it doesn’t go unnoticed by a few other people. 

Chrissy nudges your shoulder and you finally tear your eyes away from him. He ignores the feeling in his chest, he ignores the ache when you look away and smile again. He looks at you for another long second before he turns away too and looks back at the girl he loves. 

He smiles at her, he is happy that she is here. 

He is happy. 

He is. 

next chapter

-

tagging friends & mutuals only!

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @sherrylyn628 @xxhellfiregirlxx @nemesis729

[livwritesstuff]

uh so i was feeling like writing something angsty and ever since i wrote this a little bit ago i can’t stop thinking about the idea of what the upside down coming back decades later would look like, however it’s a bummer and not the vibe i want for my steddie!dads verse so consider this an au for an au or whatever idk

It’s a normal, average, mundane, regular Wednesday when Dustin calls.

They don’t talk as much as they used to, but that’s adult life, Steve supposes. 

They both have entire lives now, spouses and children and jobs that consume pretty much every waking hour. The near-1000 miles that separates Steve and Eddie in Massachusetts from Dustin in Indiana doesn’t help things either, and seeing as how Dustin had long-since inherited the Hawkins Lab research from Owens when he retired back in the mid-2000s, that won’t be changing any time soon.

Steve is home when Dustin calls, and between counseling clients, so when the phone rings and lights up with his name, Steve picks it up with a grin.

“Hey man, what’s goin’ on!”

Nothing but silence comes through Dustin’s end for a while – such a long time that Steve checks to make sure that the call didn’t drop or his phone didn’t die or something (and neither had happened, so it’s definitely a Dustin thing).

“Dustin?” he asks, “You there?”

Silence, still.

Then –

“Steve.”

Dustin sounds…not normal, and Steve feels the grin slide off his face.

“What?”

“Steve,” he chokes, “It’s…it’s back.”

Steve feels his heart stop for a second, feels it like all the blood in his veins came to an abrupt halt for just a moment.

“The Upside Down,” Dustin continues, “It…all of…it’s back.”

He sounds like he’s underwater, or maybe Steve’s the one sinking beneath the surface, just like he’d done forty years ago when he’d taken Dustin’s place on that boat and got dragged into hell through the depths of Lover’s Lake.

Steve hangs up the phone, his hands shaking.

His knees feel shaky too, like they can’t support his weight anymore despite doing so for nearly sixty years.

They’ve been giving him problems lately – his knees. Nothing too crazy; he can still go on his runs and putter around the yard and all that. It’s just a part of aging, he supposes, and he hadn’t minded aging before – liked it, even. Liked his greying hair and the crow’s feet around his eyes and his achy knees, because there’d been a period of time many years ago when he wasn’t sure he’d make it long enough to experience that inevitability of life.

Right this second though, he hates it, hates the way it makes him realize he’s not as nimble as he used to be, the way his reaction time isn’t the same anymore, because he knows that’s what had gotten him through those horrible years back in the mid-eighties.

He lowers himself down, and as his ass hits the tile floor of the bathroom – his daughters’ bathroom, the one they’ve shared practically their whole lives, the one Moe lost her first tooth in, the one Robbie pierced her own ears in, the one Hazel will be getting ready for prom in soon – Dustin calls him again.Steve doesn’t pick up, too busy kicking himself for not considering sooner the possibility of this sooner, for not having a plan ready to execute to keep their daughters safe the way no adult had done for him.

He can feel an old instinct – the urge to gather his loved ones close – starting to kick in, his mind starting to race as he catalogs the people who make up his small corner of the world. 

Hazel is easy – she’s at the high school just down the road. He can have her back home, back within arm’s reach, in a matter of minutes.

Robin and Nancy are next closest, still living in Boston after all these years. Steve would wager a guess that they’ll be hearing from Dustin soon if they haven’t already, and then they’ll probably head Steve and Eddie’s way, and then they’ll all regroup. 

They’ll figure out what their next moves are.

Moe and Robbie are trickier with both of them living in New York City and likely unwilling to leave their school and their jobs and their friends without any warning whatsoever. Moe is getting more and more reasonable the older she gets, so Steve may have to start with her and hope that Robbie follows.

Moe is twenty-two now. 

Moe is older than both of her dads had been when Eddie had nearly died, when Steve had carried him out of hell and made sure he didn’t. All three of their daughters – even seventeen-year-old Hazel – are older than Steve had been when he got sucked into that horrible mess, and they’re still so damn young. 

With two decades of parenting under his belt, he finds it kind of unbelievable that anybody had looked at his sixteen-year-old face and seen anything but a child, nevermind actually asked him to do the things that he’d done.

Dustin calls him two more times before he gives up. Only a moment later, Steve hears Eddie’s phone ring downstairs, and then he hears Eddie’s jovial tone as he answers the call. 

He goes quiet real quick after that.

Just as Steve is deciding who to call first – Hazel’s school or Moe – his phone vibrates, two quick buzzes that can only indicate a text from Robin.

He opens it.

did dustin call you?

Steve lets out a heavy breath because, fuck, it’s real.

Yeah, he texts back, then adds –

This fucking sucks

40 years

As Steve watches the bubbles of Robin’s incoming response, he can vaguely hear Eddie’s ascent of the stairs, still on the phone with Dustin. 

The bubbles disappear.

“Fuck you, Dustin,” he hears Eddie snarl, “This is on you.” There’s silence for a while, and Eddie seems to pause in the hallway just in front of their bedroom door. Then, “Yeah, I’ll talk to him…I know…later, man. Love you. Be safe.”

Steve looks down at his phone to see that Robin is still typing, only for the bubbles to disappear again a second later.

Finally –

nance is going back

i’m going with her

Steve could throw up.

He almost does, he’s pretty sure, although he’s not positive because he might be having an out of body experience, or maybe he’s dissociating, or maybe it’s a fucking PTSD flashback or something. He doesn’t know.

He should know, or so his handful of psych degrees would suggest, and he probably would know if it was happening to someone else, but then again, he’s always worn blinders when it comes to himself.

That was true about him when all this shit started in 1983, and it’s still true now, almost forty years later.

Forty fucking years.

He doesn’t look up when Eddie comes into the bathroom, joining him on the floor with his back against the bathtub.

“Dustin took offense to you hanging up on him,” he says, and Steve can hear the way he’s forcing humor into his tone.

As if any of this shit is funny.

“Erica and the kids left with Claudia,” Eddie continues, answering a question Steve probably would’ve gotten around to asking Dustin himself if it weren’t for the whole hanging up on him thing, “Erica went kicking and screaming, obviously. I offered up our house, but they’re still deciding where they want to camp out. And everyone has agreed not to say a word to Jim and Joyce.”

Yeah, that makes sense, seeing as they’re both in their eighties and perpetually acting like they’re thirty years younger – at a minimum.

Not that Steve would know anything about that.

Definitely not.

“He said he’s one-hundred percent positive that it’s all still contained to Hawkins, so…” Eddie pauses, “We don’t have to, like, track down the girls or anything. Just make sure they don’t go anywhere near Indiana.”

And that, at least, is an actual relief.

“Robin’s going back,” Steve tells him, because there’s no point waiting to address that particular issue in this whole fucking mess.

The so I’m going too is implied, because that has never needed to be said when it came to Steve and Robin.

The way Eddie’s face changes evades Steve’s ability to describe. It makes him regret saying anything – that’s for fucking sure. Makes him wish he’d just snuck away in the dead of night.

“C’mon man, we’ve picked up a whole fuckin’ litter over the years,” Eddie says, and he’s still forcing humor into his tone, “You can’t leave me to fend off the masses alone – the years have made me weak-willed, I’ll surrender immediately.”

Steve manages a snort, but he still looks down at the floor all the same.

Eddie doesn’t say anything else for a while, but his hand wraps around Steve’s ankle as if there was enough brute strength in the one appendage to keep him rooted to the bathroom floor.

(Strangely enough, it feels like there might be).

“Steve,” Eddie finally says, his voice stiff and hard in a way Steve doesn’t think he’s ever heard before, “We are way too old for this shit – Robin and Nance too.”

Eddie pauses.

“Steve,” he says again, “I know how important Robin is. I know, but our children would be fucking devastated if anything happened to you. Don’t think they wouldn’t – and something would most certainly happen to you.”

“Eddie.” 

He’s still avoiding his husband’s eyes.

“Steve,” he pleads, something desperate in his voice, “We talked about this. Remember? Last spring, when we watched that stupid zombie show with Hazel? And there was the episode with the old gay guys? We talked about this. You told me not to let you go if this shit came back.”

Steve makes no response. Ed lets out a heavy breath, looking to the ceiling.

They have this conversation every now and then – one of those conversations that always teeters on the edge of an argument – in which Eddie insists that Steve could be fine if their relationship ended in a way that Eddie himself would not. It’s a conversation that Steve hates, because he hates the idea that Eddie – his husband of twenty years and the love of his whole entire life – could still be thinking so low of himself, that there’s any part of him that doesn’t think Steve would be fucking wrecked by losing him.

Still, it had always been a hypothetical. It had never been real.

Suddenly, Steve feels claustrophobic sitting on the floor of his daughters’ bathroom. He gets to his feet and, as he heads for the door, Eddie scrambles up after him.

Halfway down the hall, Eddie lunges for him and catches his arm, wheeling him back around to face him.

“Steve,” Eddie says one more time. 

Then, because he apparently has no words ready to follow with, he stops.

“Steve,” Eddie starts again, “Please. You’re everything. I love the girls and I love our life, but Christ, Steve, you’re my entire world. You changed everything for me. You showed me how life could be worth living, and you keep showing me, and I’m not ready to let go of you yet – not even fucking close. Please don’t let this be the way we leave each other.”

Steve finally lets himself look at Eddie’s face, the face he’d fallen in love with decades ago, the face he’s still in love with decades later. He looks at his big eyes and the hint of grey at his hairline and his crows feet and the scarring that creeps up his neck from underneath the collar of his shirt (it’s a shirt he’s had for ages – since before even Moe was born by the looks of it, but so is the rest of his half of their closet).

And he finds himself nodding.

Eddie’s exhale is all desperate relief as he tugs Steve into his arms and wraps them around his shoulders. Steve immediately reciprocates the hug, pulling him in even closer, surprised to feel tears pin-pricking his eyes

“I love you so much, Steve,” Eddie tells him, gripping the back of his t-shirt so tight he feels the collar pulling taut against his throat, “I don’t say that to you enough.”

“You say it all the time,” Steve replies with a wet laugh.

“Not enough,” he shakes his head, and Steve decides there’s no point in arguing.

A minute goes by.

“Fuck,” Steve half-laughs, half-chokes as he lifts his head to meet Eddie’s eyes, “This fucking sucks.”

“I know,” he says. 

Again, he reels Steve in, and again, Steve lets him, holding onto his husband like a lifeline, like they’re standing somewhere far more perilous than the carpeted floor of their upstairs hallway.

“I know,” Eddie repeats, “And we’ll…we’ll talk about it but for now, just – can I just hold you for a bit, okay?”

Steve nods again.

“Okay.”

read the extended version on AO3 (i.e. feat. added “flashbacks” so it fits the formatting of the rest of the series)

[steviesbicrisis]

I couldn’t stop thinking about this and Barbie Steve so:

Steve is a special edition Ken, with his polo shirt and sunglasses he’s supposed to be Cool Party Ken, always ready to party and nothing more.

Steve hates it. Not the polo, he actually loves his outfit, but the idea he will be nothing more than the Cool Party Ken. A Ken.

He watches Nancy, who is supposed to be “his Barbie”, being Journalist Barbie and Good student Barbie and he wishes he could do that too. Journalist Barbie comes with a flowery long skirt he can’t stop thinking about.

But he can’t wear it because he’s a Ken.

And he knows he should be okay with what he is because he’s very lucky to be a special edition Ken and all the other Ken are jealous of him, so he tries to endure it for a while.

Until he can’t anymore.

He starts off with something he always dreamed of: he takes a pair of scissors and hairspray and becomes an hairstylist. Everyone is shocked to see and Hairstylist Ken but they welcome the change anyways, not knowing that Steve actually refers to himself as Hairstylist Barbie.

Robin, a Student/Worker Barbie, is the first person he tells.

She comes to him asking for a short haircut which is considered a crazy thing to want, since almost all Barbies have long hair.

“I don’t care! I hate my long hair, if people get upset that’s their problem. I will be a Rebel Barbie if I have to.”

“But why me?” Steve can’t help but ask. Usually people get haircuts from Hairstylist Barbies, not him.

“Because no Hairstylist Barbie wants to cut my hair” she admits, looking down “they think it’s weird. But I thought you would… understand.”

And Steve does understand, so he cuts her hair with no more objections. At the end, Robin is admiring her new shorter hair in the mirror when Steve says “well, one Hairstylist Barbie did say yes to you, in the end.”

And Robin understands.

—

The first person to call him Barbie, however, is Eddie.

Eddie is a standard Ken and he’s okay with it, most of the time. He firmly believes that any special edition Ken is just a snuck out snob, so he lives his life trying to prove that average Ken like him are just as fine.

“If we were just like the Special Kens like Steve” Jonathan objects “we would have found a Barbie to be with, don’t you think?”

Eddie would love to go on a rant about how Steve the Cool Party Ken is nothing special, but his eyes are caught by two Sailor Barbies walking across the street.

Eddie has never seen a Sailor Barbie but they have the same outfit, similar short hair and matching hats, so he imagines it must be a new type.

Despite looking so similar, one of them catches his eye.

He gives Jonathan a knowing look of “watch as I get a Barbie for myself”, which Jonathan replies with a look of “can’t wait to see you make a fool of yourself”, and then he’s off crossing the street.

He watches as one of them enters a ice cream parlor, and the other, the one who has caught his interest, stays back, staring at the door as if they needed to take some courage.

Eddie takes it as a sign to shoot his shot “Hey Barbiegirl!”

Nameless Sailor Barbie goes rigid but doesn’t turn around, so Eddie catches up to them.

“You know that old saying, every Barbie needs a Ken so…”

Sailor Barbie finally turns around, and Eddie is shocked to be faced with Steve the Pool Party Ken. Or maybe not a Ken. He’s confused.

Steve is looking at him expectingly, red in the cheeks.

He wets his lips before talking, making them glossier “so…?”

He doesn’t correct Eddie, he doesn’t say “I’m not a Barbie, you idiot”, he doesn’t reject him. He wants him to finish with his cheesy and overused pick up line.

Eddie wonders if he has been a special edition Lucky Ken without realizing it before.

“So, would you be my Barbie?”

Steve giggles, kisses him in the cheek and says “take me to dinner first, then we’ll see” and then, without another word, he’s gone inside the parlor.

Eddie stands there, staring at the door, too shocked to turn around and give Jonathan a “I told you so”.

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 31

Description: Miguel and Gabi have a little discussion, Miguel gathers info on your mother.

Pt 32 here!!!

"Papá?” Gabi’s voice is soft, hesitant, her face illuminated by the warm glow of the nightlight in the hall.

Miguel looks up from his computer, shoulders heavy, eyes burning from the harsh blue light of the three strategically placed screens.

Gabi is lingering in the doorway, hand on the doorknob, Oso under her other arm.

“Yes, mija?” He pushes back from his desk, chair wheels rolling smoothly over the rug as he turns his body towards her, his free hand minimizing his open tabs.

She shuffles in, mindful of staying away from any computer equipment, until she curls up in his lap, resting her head on his chest. “Why was Abuela being mean to Mamá?”

Miguel wraps his arms around her, silently cursing himself for not thinking about how she might’ve inherited his enhanced senses. “What do you mean?”

“She wouldn’t let Mamá go shopping with us, and then she said she was going to plan my quince, but I want you and Mamá to do that.” Gabi says, dropping her chin atop Oso’s fuzzy head.

“Your abuela is just having a hard time accepting Ms. y/n over your mother.” He says carefully.

“Why?”

Miguel says nothing for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he speaks. “Because she loved your mother very much, and she doesn’t like the idea of losing people.”

“Like Tio Gabriel?” Gabi asks quietly.

A wave of grief washes over him. He misses his brother desperately, even when they were at odds with each other they were still brothers. This universe his brother died long before Gabi was born, and his mother could never quite get over it. She clung to anyone new who came into his life, attempting to force them to fill the hole Gabriel left behind. Ava seemed to fit the mold for his mother, well enough that she was willing to put him and his family in peril for the chance to reconnect with her.

He was aware his mother loved his brother more; Gabriel was a shining, golden thing. The example of the perfect son, the one who didn’t come from an affair, who looked enough like the man Miguel called father for most of his life that no one questioned him. Miguel didn’t hate his brother, he never could, but he resented him for leaving him alone with their mother, for caving time and time again in every universe. He loved him deeply, protected him, counseled him, cried with him, cried for him at his funeral, he carried a part of Gabriel with him everywhere he went. They were of the same blood, he would never truly lose that part of his brother, and that was enough for him.

“Yes, like Tio Gabriel.” His voice falters for a moment, and he clears his throat. “But that doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to be mean to your mamá.”

“Is Mamá okay? I thought I heard her yelling while Uncle Brett was taking me back to the sheep.”

Miguel chuckles. “Your mamá was just very passionately defending us, that’s all. She’s okay.”

She nods and snuggles closer to him. “I don’t want to go shopping with Abuela if Mamá can’t come.”

“You don’t have to go shopping with your abuela for any reason if you don’t want to.” He reassures her.

“Okay…” Gabi says, stroking Oso’s ears.

“Is there something else bothering you?”

Gabi sticks out her bottom lip in a puppy dog pout. “I wish Nanna Nancy was my only grandma. She really likes Mamá. Why can’t Nana Nancy, Auntie Mon and Uncle Brett be our only family? Everyone else is mean.”

If Monica were here, she’d been over the moon at Gabi’s words.

He chuckles. “The only other family that’s here is your abuela.”

“And mom.”

“You don’t have to worry about her, she’s not going to bother us anymore.”

“Okay good.” Gabi huffs. “Now, if Abuela would stop being mean, everything would be perfect.”

He loves how simple some solutions seem to her, how if just one person would change, everything would fall into place. He wishes that were true.

“If only she would stop being so mean.” He echoes.

They stay up for a while longer talking, until sleep finally overtakes her, and he carries her back to her bed, gently tucking her in before slipping back into his office and locking the door behind him.

“Lyla?” He calls out, bringing all his tabs back up.

She flits into existence, heart-shaped sunglasses pushed up on her head. “It’s like two AM, why are you even awake? Don’t you have a fiancée to join in bed?” She teases, stretching her arms above her head with a yawn.

“She’s asleep. Now find me everything you can on Tiffany Robins.”

“Thinking about your next victim?” Lyla drawls, scrolling through her superhighway of information.

“Thinking about ensuring my fiancée is happy.” He replies, skimming the information as she flicks it onto his computers.

“Okay Ms. Tiffany Robins, lives in Nueva York, divorced, two children, y/n, and Leon, never been remarried, a lot of custody issues, a restraining order requested by Mrs. Rosaline Y/L/N, high level official at Serenity and Wellness, a company that sells wellness products, and self-help programs. It’s pretty successful, but they definitely don’t believe what they’re selling.”

“Can you get me her phone records?”

She gives him a pointed look.

“Please?”

“Already done.” She says, a Cheshire Cat grin tugging at her lips.

Tiffany: Y/N let’s get together soon; I want to make up for all the pain I’ve caused you.

Y/N: You said that last time.

Tiffany: Don’t be so stubborn, I’ve been seeing someone, and it’s really been helping.

Y/N: I don’t know, I’m really busy with work.

Tiffany: You can’t make time for your mother? I gave you life, and this is the thanks I get?

Y/N: Ok, ok, I’ll think about it.

Tiffany: I’ll be on your side of town in a few weeks, I’ll let you know when I’m there, we can meet then.

Y/N: I said I’d think about it.

Tiffany: I’ll make sure it’s not during school hours don’t worry, now I’ve got to go, I have a meeting to get to.

Miguel massages his temples. Obviously, your mother still believes she’s owed access to you, that she’s still in control of you.

There’s a call logged, from this morning, while he and Gabi were out getting donuts.

“Y/N I need to push back our meeting, I have to meet with a potential client that day, can you do a Wednesday instead?” Your mother’s voice is smooth, pleasant, and controlled.

“I can’t, I work on weekdays, I’m a teacher, remember?”

“Just put on a movie for them or something, I doubt it’ll be much different from your normal teaching.”

Miguel hears your voice tighten, can feel your hackles rising through the audio.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh my—saints above y/n, you’re so sensitive. I just mean that…well we both know how you struggled in school, and I mean they’re still so young, I doubt they’re really learning anything.”

“The only thing I struggled with was math, but I doubt you’d even know that considering you weren’t allowed in my life while I was in school.”

“That wasn’t my fault, it was your father and his whore, they stole you and your brother from me.” Tiffany complains, a hint of hysteria in her voice.

He can only imagine the rage flowing through you at Tiffany’s words.

“She’s not a whore.” You snap.

“You just can’t see it; you’re blinded by it all. But don’t worry, I know one day you’ll wake up and see that she’s not your real mother, and she’ll never be.”

His stomach drops.

“You’re not her mother, and you never will be.”

His mother had unknowingly repeated the words said to you about your own mother.

“You’re such a bitch.” You hiss, venom dripping from your every word.

“Me? You’re just a spoiled brat who abandoned her mother.”

“Aband—you know what? I’m not doing this with you, not today, not now. Goodbye, Tiffany.”

The call ends and Miguel continues to scroll through your mother’s information, a plan formulating in his mind.

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[nburkhardt]

Having those sad thoughts, now putting it on the boy 😔

It’s moments like this that makes him want the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Everyone is gathered today for the first time in a while, he doesn’t even remember the last time he even saw some of them. He’s been working so often and still lives in Hawkins, unlike most of the group now.

It’s good, things are good. He’s pretty happy or well, okay. He’s good though, pretty content even. Life is fine.

It’s just, standing here having only needed a few minutes to get them caught up in his daily life.

(Wake up, get dressed, eat, and go to work. Come home, relax, maybe call Robin or Eddie. Feed himself and repeat.)

Everyone else? Robin? Nancy? Hell, even Dustin? It’s been an hour and Dustin and Claudia won’t stop talking about how good school is going and they’re waiting on the letters for colleges! “Can you believe that Steve?!”

Nancy’s well on her way up some journalism company, can’t wait to get her own spot in the newspaper! There’s some course Robin’s in the middle of that’s been keeping her up at all hours. Oh and didn’t you hear? Jonathan’s thinking of moving back to California for photography!

“- and today, El got accepted as a volunteer at the new animal shelter! It’s such wonderful news, don’t you think Steve?”

He forced a smile and nodded, about to open his mouth when Joyce patted his arm with a “oh! Karen’s here, hold that thought I’ll be right back!” Before walking away and he gets to drop the smile.

Wishing he could just leave the party but he’s Robin’s ride and she’s definitely having fun catching up with everyone. He’s already said his piece to those he asked.

“eh, life’s pretty good. Been just saving up to get an apartment with Robs. Ya know?” And “I haven’t thought about it much, college just didn’t- seem right? I’m just focusing on work right now”

He can’t even take an hour talking about himself now. It’s over and out within minutes. None of the here adults really want to hear him go on a rant about basketball and he can go on forever about his car, but no one wants that information. Robin and him talk about those daily, even if she doesn’t understand half of it.

So, he’d really like for everyone to stop asking things or bringing up accomplishments of others, “I’m just so proud of my boy, my little genius!”

“Will’s painting is really taking off! Jonathan’s photography skills is so much better now, look see!”

It’s really getting to him and he wants to leave. Doesn’t feel like anyone is even listening when he does get to talk about himself, which is dumb because he loves these people.

The thing is, he just feels stuck. Feels like a has been, like he was this once amazing toy that got thrown outside and forgotten. He hates this, hates that his life isn’t anything to talk about, hates feeling like he’s doing nothing with his life.

How is he goddamn twenty-one years old and feel like nothing about him is good enough to talk about?

Robin reminds him daily that his brain is being dumb, that he’ll figure things out soon. It’s just not the right now for him, that he’s only twenty-one and there’s so many more years ahead of him. It’ll hit even eventually, that to stop comparing people.

He knows that, really he does.

It’s just, a lot. Okay?

Ending it there before I ramble myself into a rabbit hole.

Welp I had thoughts and now I’m feeling a bit better but goddamn I’m seriously feeling it. There’s no tears or anything but even with music blasting in my ears + my edible hitting, my brain won’t shut up about how I’m twenty seven and stuck.

How I’m still working a retail job, holding myself back from getting the GED I need to even apply to a cosmetology school. And that whenever anyone asks me for an update all I can say is ‘well I just bought this cool new funko!’ Or ‘nah I’m just taking walks and nope, still haven’t changed my mind about kids’ and sure, yeah we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others because that’s just shitty thinking but I can’t help it 🥲

I’m stuck and even when I do start talking hobbies or thinks I like, everyone just doesn’t care? Or well they do but they don’t understand and sometimes judge me on what I do.

Idk I’m just feeling things and venting using my fave person. Just venting and getting this out.

Also I’m sure I’m not alone in this feeling. So if you also feel this, I’m sorry 💜 our time will come!!

[boldlyvoid]

Put On The Red Light | Part 2

18+ Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: When Eddie's long-lost cousin, Roxy, shows up on his doorstep, he must accept that his whole life is changing once again.

Warnings: pov changes 3 times between eddie, roxy and steve | angst, parental death, cancer, narcissistic parents, anxiety, jealous Eddie, sexuality crisis, insecure Eddie, parental issues, implied/referenced parental abuse/neglect, background Wayne/Mr. Clarke, adoption, coming out, implied/referenced sexual abuse (more detailed next chapter)

word count: 10.6k

masterlist

Eddie wakes up around 8am… really, thats just when he stops tossing and turning and forces himself out of the bed. He gets ready as quietly as possible and sneaks out the front door without waking Wayne in the process. He pulls out of the trailer park at just a quarter after 8, heading right to the Wheeler's place for a nice chat with the smartest person he knows. 

Karen Wheeler opens the door with her hair still in rollers and her bright pink robe on, “Eddie… you’re here early?” 

“I know, I’m sorry, Mrs. Wheeler,” Eddie apologizes. “Would Nancy happen to be awake yet? I need her help with something.” 

Karen nods, “She just finished her breakfast, hold on,” she turns away from him and yells into the house, “Nancy!” 

“Yeah?” She peaks around the corner and sees Eddie at the door. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asks because she knows him pretty well by now, he wouldn’t be at her door, dressed and aware of his surroundings at this time of day if something wasn’t wrong. 

“I uh, I need help with something at the library… at least, I think it’s at the library, I really don’t know what I’m doing… I just need your help, please?” he hates to admit it out loud. 

“Yeah, come in and I’ll just get changed and then we can go?” Nancy offers and Karen ushers him inside. 

“Thanks, really, it’s kind of hard to explain…” 

“I’ll be down in a sec, save it for the ride over,” she doesn’t want him to worry about her parents overhearing them and then she takes off, up the stairs. 

“Did you eat? I can make you something?” Karen immediately offers, not letting a single moment of silence pass. 

He shakes his head, “I’m good, thanks, Mrs. Wheeler.” 

“Oh, really it’s no problem on my end, I keep making the normal amount of food for breakfast but Mike isn’t ever here now that the Byers are back in town, so I always have extra,” she explains, making Eddie follow her into the kitchen. 

“In that case… Wayne has always called me a human garbage can, I always eat all the leftovers.” 

“See, you’re helping me out, not putting me out,” Karen can’t help but laugh. 

She takes a plate down from the cupboard and dumps the remaining scrambled eggs from the frying pan on it. She gives him the last 3 pieces of bacon and sets the plate down in front of him. “Do you want toast? Orange juice?” 

“This is more than enough, thank you,” he doesn’t want to impose anymore, he just takes the fork she gave him and digs in. 

He doesn’t mean to scarf it all down so fast, he just had no idea when Nancy would be back down and he’d hate to make her wait when this is his idea in the first place. He’s been thinking over the plan all night, he’s figured out how to let Wayne know how much he loves him and needs him and Nancy’s the only person he can ask for advice about legal documents. 

Nancy comes running back down the stairs just as he’s putting his fork down on the placemat, “hey, you ready?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good,” he covers his mouth to talk and finishes his last bite and then he stands. “Thank you so much, again, Mrs. Wheeler, really.” 

“You’re welcome, you guys have fun, let me know if you won’t be back for dinner,” she turns to Nancy at the end, “I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” Nancy gives her a smile and a wave, “see ya!” 

She doesn’t ask what’s up until they’re both in the van, “Please don’t tell me something bad is happening in the town again… I can’t do two in the same calendar year.” 

Eddie sighs, “No, no… it’s not a thing like that. Um, you know Matilda, the Roald Dahl book? She gets adopted by Miss Honey at the end and it doesn’t matter if it was a real adoption or not because Miss Honey loved her more than any blood relative could’ve? Like, Miss Honey was her family. Period. End of discussion?” 

Nancy nods along, “yeah?” 

“She still wanted to make it real. She still wanted Miss Honey to be her mom on paper even though she was her mom in her heart… and she got the adoption papers from the library… where would I get them?” 

“I think you get them at the courthouse?” Nancy offered, not pushing him with questions or trying to change his mind. She simply smiled and put on her seatbelt. 

“To the courthouse we go…” 

—

Wayne knocks on her door just a little after 11 am, she didn’t expect him to come all the way up to her apartment but he did. She opens the door with a big smile, “Hey, Dad, I was just about to come down and wait for you…” 

“I wanted to check the place out,” he says, peaking over her shoulder to get a good look… just like she did yesterday with Eddie. 

“Come in,” she extends her arm out and moves out of the way. “It’s not much but it’ll work for a while… uh, it was partially furnished, so I have a bed and a couch and some pots and pans and things… and I went to the grocery store yesterday morning before I went to the trailer,” She follows him around while she talks, watching him take a look at everything. 

“It’s a lot nicer than it used to be,” Wayne compliments, his lips pursed together as he nods. 

“You’ve been in here before?” 

“Yeah… Eddie’s mom rented this unit for a while, it was only a short walk to the hospital—

“Oh my god, it all makes sense now…”

“What does?” 

“He got snarky when you told him where I lived and then he didn’t drive me home last night. Steve did,” she explains. “And then when he dropped me off, Steve said if I ever needed a ride anywhere and you’re not available, I should call him and not Eddie… I thought maybe it was just him being a flirt like you said, but then it felt a lot more like Eddie was avoiding this place… and like Steve was protecting him.”

Wayne gives her a simple nod, “Yeah… his mom basically died in here.” 

“In here?” She points to the floor and her eyes widen in fear. 

“She technically took her last breath in the hospital but, yeah,” he doesn’t know how to really say it. “She faded away to nothing here, he was only 8 when she got sick, 12 when she died. It’s been hard on him.” 

She feels terrible, “I can’t imagine losing my mom when I was 12, it’s hard enough now…” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s just hard being away from her,” she shrugs it off. She doesn’t want to get into it all right now. She really can’t get into it now or she’ll ruin the whole day for herself with her tears. She still has some questions to ask and opinions to learn… She can’t lose him once he knows, too. 

“You’re growing up, it’s hard,” he at least tries to sympathize. “But you seem good here, you call me if anything breaks or they give you a hard time, okay?” 

“Okay, Dad,” she gives him the sweetest smile, she loves that she gets to call him that. That it’s real. He is her dad. “Uh, while I’ve got you here, I made something for you…” 

“Oh, why?” He’s a bit taken aback, he didn’t expect this. 

He follows her into the little kitchen and thats where he sees it. On the counter, she has a present waiting to be opened by him. She knew she wanted to give it to him today or tomorrow and this was the perfect chance. She gets him to sit at the table with her and she places the neatly wrapped gift in front of him. 

“Even though Father's Day is technically tomorrow, I wanted to give you this… and I needed to do it here and not in front of Eddie 'cause he’s having a hard time with all this.” 

“Is he?” Wayne instantly worries. 

“Yeah… I mean, now that I know his mom died I can see why. All he has left is you,” she finds it incredibly easy to sympathize. “It’s only natural to panic about sharing your only parent, just most people go through it when they’re toddlers.” 

“He wasn’t home this morning but I wanted to make sure he has dinner with us tonight, for this reason. I can’t have him thinking I like you more than him and vice versa. I love you equally,” he assures her. Staring her down with those Munson eyes she’s only seen in the mirror for 19 years. “You’re both my kids.”

Her eyes well with tears, “I love you, too… open it up.” 

“Okay,” he has to look away or he’ll cry too. He peels the brown wrapping paper gently, uncovering a scrapbook. “Oh, wow.” 

“When I was getting ready to leave, I went through all my photos and realized mom had two of everything… I really wanted you to see what I was like as a kid,” she explains, watching him flip from page to page, completely silent. 

He runs his finger over some of the pictures, taking in her features and watching her change over 18 years in just a few pages. He looks sad, realizing he missed out on so much of her life… and so much of it looks lonesome. She’s alone in most of her photos, her eyes have dark rings around them and she hasn’t smiled much past 8 years old. 

“What happened?” 

“What do you mean?” She leans over to see what photo he’s on, “Nothing happened there?” 

“I know this look, this is the look of a kid going through hell… Eddie looked the same when I took him in,” he taps the page and stares her down, “Did they hurt you?” 

She shakes her head, “Oh no, god, no! I just got bullied at school, I didn’t have good friends, it was normal at home… for the most part. They barely talked to me, they didn’t have the time to hurt me.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Wayne’s heart is clearly broken. “Not only did I miss out on your life, I couldn’t save you from the hard parts of it…” 

“No, but you saved Eddie and now Eddie is saving me,” Roxy shrugs, lips pressed together tightly, she didn’t know how much she wanted to tell him… it’s not really something a dad wants to hear.  

“How?” He doesn’t get it, he’s barely seen them interact. 

“I had this whole plan,” she says, taking a seat across from him at the table. “I’ve been saving my money for years thinking I’d look all through the entire state of Indiana for you… I was going to do everything to find my dad and then 3 months before I graduated, 3 months before I was going to run away to find you, my real last name is all over the news… if that didn’t happen to him, then I wouldn’t be here yet. I wouldn’t have you, yet,” Roxy explains, so sure of it. 

“That was the worst week of my life,” Wayne can't even begin to explain how awful it was. “I walked into my own home to find a dead girl I didn’t know and Eddie was no where to be found… and I couldn’t find him for a week. And when I did find him, he was in the hospital with stab wounds that looked more like something took a bite out of him. It was awful.” 

“I’m so sorry,” she reaches out for his hand across the table and takes it. “I can’t imagine what that’s like.” 

“If you’re the outcome, then it was well worth it… at least on my end, that pain paid off for me,” he gives her a small smile. “But I don’t expect Eddie to feel the same. ‘Cause nothings been the same since then. We lost most of his things in the earthquake, we’ve started fresh in the trailer and he’s barely ever home now that he knows Steve and Robin… and I get it, he went to hell and back with them, no wonder he finds it so easy to talk to them about it… I just wish he’d talk to me on his bad nights.” 

“Tell him that,” she can’t stress that enough. “I’m sure he knows but tell him anyway… Personally, I don’t think there’s any such thing as too much love.” 

“I love you,” he says directly to her for the first time, staring deep into her brown eyes… realizing how they’re a lot lighter than Eddie’s. Almost hazel. And then he gives her hand another squeeze. “I love you a lot.” 

“I love you, too,” she laughs as the tears stream down her cheeks, “Happy Father's Day.”  

He laughs then too, a single tear slips out and he wipes it off his face with his free hand, “Happy Father's Day to you too… say, you got a camera around here?” 

She nods, “I do, why, did you want to take a photo?” 

“We might as well put one in here together, and, if you want, maybe we can take one all together tonight?” He suggests, wanting to make sure Eddie felt included later too. 

“That sounds like a great idea.” 

—

When Eddie comes back home he stops dead in his tracks when he smells it… Wayne's famous brisket. 

“There he is!” Wayne cheers and walks over to him, “Whatcha got there?” He notices the yellow envelope in his hand just as he goes to hug him. 

“Oh, some job applications,” he lies, Wayne was on him about getting something to do during the days, so it’s believable for now. 

“Good, good,” he places his hands on Eddie's shoulders and brings him into a hug. “Please tell me you can stay for dinner?” 

Eddie nods, “Yeah, I can… I’m not going to see Steve tonight.” 

Wayne's brows furrow and he’s clearly shocked. “At all?”

He shakes his head, still holding Wayne tight. It’s been a while since they had a good hug. “Nah, I think I need a night with you… and Rox, too I guess?” 

Wayne pulls back first, “She’s here,” he points back to her and she gives him a smile and a wave, “She’s been helping me in the kitchen.” 

“He’s a great teacher,” Roxy adds. “I hear this Mac and cheese is your favourite?” 

“Oh, fuck yes!” He celebrates, this is the best thing to happen to him in a few days. “What’s the occasion?” 

“It’s my first Father's Day with both my kids,” Wayne announces, so, so proud of himself. 

Eddie loves to see the smile on his face, he can’t help but smile back, “So are we doing gifts tonight, or?” 

“I gave him mine already,” Roxy is honest, and from the look on her face she feels a little scared for his reaction. 

“So, I can give mine tonight like normal?” Eddie turns back to Wayne, “I’d really like to keep this as normal as possible.” 

“We want the same thing… I love you, kid,” Wayne reaches back out for him and rubs his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy these last few months, I don’t want you to think I’m replacing you.” 

“I know you’re not,” Eddie gives him a solemn smile. “But you know me, you know I’m weird with change. This was the cherry on top of the shit show that has been my life lately… I hate myself a little for reacting like a two-year-old with a new sister on the way, but I can’t help it. I’m not good with this shit.” 

“Not much is changing,” Wayne assures him.

“I want to continue this at dinner…” Eddie admits, “I had a whole speech planned out and a certain way I wanted to say all this, can I just go to my room for a bit?” 

“Sure, yeah,” Wayne gives in, knowing how Eddie reacts when things aren’t going according to his plan. He gets testy and anxious.

Eddie hurries off to his room and closes the door, taking the documents out of the manilla folder and grabbing his dnd book to use as a hard surface. He wanted to sign the papers before he presented them to Wayne… the adoption process is a lot simpler when it’s an adult being adopted, all they require is Eddie and Wayne’s signatures on the petition and then the court would finalize it, pending a short court appearance with lots of questions. They just wanted to make sure creeps weren’t adopting their girlfriends and greedy assholes didn’t steal money from vulnerable, yet rich, elderly people. 

Eddie and Wayne were definitely neither of those things. He knew it would be granted to him, he knew Wayne would be his dad in a matter of weeks… it was all going to be okay. 

Eddie got two copies of the adoption papers, too, because if this was his way of evening the playing field, Roxy deserved the chance to be Wayne’s kid on paper too. Thats only if she wasn’t already, he has a feeling that if she knew her dad’s name her whole life then it’s most likely on her birth certificate. It’s been real for her whole life. 

He has a moment to change and listen to a few songs so he can calm down, his mind is racing with the speech he wants to give and it keeps changing the more he thinks about it. He has so much he wants to say, so much he wants to thank Wayne for… he barely even knows where to start. 

He folds the pages up and puts them in his back pocket when he’s called out for dinner. Wayne’s famous brisket over Mac and cheese was his favourite meal in the world, he gets it maybe 3 times a year, and it was really special. And so, so delicious.  

Roxy talks up a storm about how cool Wayne's stories are, Eddie’s heard them all before but she’s right, they are cool. Wayne grew up in Florida, his mom comes from the large Jewish population there and his dad was from Louisiana meaning there were a lot of Cajun spices in this once-traditional Jewish brisket. 

Eddie takes his last bites and sets his fork down on the plate gently, he knows he has to start now, it’s just a little scary. “I um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry—

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Roxy cuts him off, thinking this is about her again. 

“No, I do… I got all pissy thinking you were stealing my dad from me when I’ve barely been home these last few months,” Eddie admits. “It’s been hard dealing with it all and— and you know what? Fuck it. I might as well be honest with both of you now that I know this is a permanent thing… basically, I got out of all that shit in March and all I wanted was to make Steve love me back, I never even thanked you for all the searching you did and the time you spent with me in the police station and in the hospital. I’ve never thanked you for anything, my whole life, actually.” 

“You don’t need to,” Wayne waves it off, he never did this for a thank you. He did it cause Eddie deserved a normal childhood. He did it because he's always loved him. 

“But I want to,” Eddie reaches into his back pocket and puts the pages down on the table. “You’ve been the best dad I could’ve ever asked for… but you’re not my dad and I think thats why I got so upset yesterday. You can call us both your kids, sure, but if you sign this then you can make it real, and Rox,” he hands her another copy of the papers, “there’s another copy here, I didn’t know if he’s on your birth certificate or not?” 

“He is,” Roxy says with a smile, she places her hand on her heart and swoons, “You really thought of me?” 

Eddie nods, “It’s only fair. That’s all I wanted. We’re both his kids, it should be official… if you want?” 

“I want. There’s nothing more that I want, son,” Wayne takes the pages and unfolds them, “You got a pen?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie quickly reaches back into his pocket and pulls out a pen, he hands it to Wayne and watches him sign the few lines he was required to. “there… is that it?” 

“For now, we need to pick a day to bring it to the courthouse and have a judge sign off on it, apparently dudes try to adopt their girlfriends and shit so they have to do background checks,” Eddie still can’t believe the lady who gave him the papers said that. And that people really try and do that… it’s so weird.

“Ew,” Roxy vocalizes her disgust, “really?” 

He just nods, “Yeah… but I mean, our local judge is Lucas’s dad so, I think it’ll go through pretty easily and you’ll be my real dad in no time.” 

“And my brother,” Roxy gives him a glorious smile. “I always wanted a big brother.” 

“As your big brother I have some ground rules,” he says with confidence, even though on the inside he’s terrified. “I know you already said yes to that date with Steve, but he’s mine. I’ll share Wayne, I’ll share Friday night pizzas with my friends, I’ll share the fucking trailer if I have to… I just can’t share Steve.” 

“Oh, no you don’t have to worry at all…” She puts her hands up in surrender and she looks genuinely scared, she turns to Wayne and then back to Eddie and she realizes right then and there that this is it. This is the moment, she has to take it. “I’m… I’m a lesbian.” 

“Oh,” Eddie’s shoulders drop, his mouth hangs open while he stares at her. “oh…” 

“That’s wonderful,” Wayne reaches over for her hand and gives her a smile. “We’ll have to set you up with one of Eddie’s girlfriends, I think Robin—

“For sure, Robin,” Eddie can’t help but smile. “She had a feeling we were more alike than I thought.” 

“She’d be right,” Roxy laughs through her tears, overwhelmed with love and acceptance… this is how it should’ve gone with her mom. “Thank you, thank you,  really.” 

“Always, sweetheart,” Wayne looks at her with so much love in his heart. And then to Eddie, he reaches out his other hand to hold them both and he sits up a bit straighter for his own announcement. “I think it’s 'bout time you both know I’ve been seein’ someone, too… it’s serious, he’s coming over to meet you both around 8.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Roxy is overjoyed for him. “What’s his name?” 

“Scott Clarke,” Eddie answers with a knowing smile. 

“How’d you—

“Do you just like talking to Steve and Robin on Sundays before work…? Is that why you bring the tapes all the way up to the desk instead of the drop-off bin outside?” Eddie questions, smirking away, enjoying the shade of pink Wayne was turning. “They’re not dumb.” 

“Oh hush, you should be happy for me!” Wayne shoots back. 

“I am!” Eddie squeezes his hand a bit tighter, shaking it too. “How’d it happen?” 

“Yeah, tell us everything?” Roxy adds, the same big smile plastered to her own face. 

“He was takin’ names at the shelter after the quake, he knew I’d need a friend and he put his cot next to mine… we talked for 2 days before Dustin told me about Eddie, it was the worst week of my life but Scott made it a bit better,” Wayne shares, laying his whole heart on the line. “I know it must be weird for both of you, you know, I was with your mom and Eddie’s seen me date ladies over the years, but never a man… not that I didn’t see men, I just haven’t felt— I haven’t been brave enough to bring a man here, not until Eddie came out to me.” 

Roxy lays her other hand on top of his, holding him close, “There isn’t a time limit on coming out, you know? It’s actually really normal to not know as early as we do,” she references to herself and Eddie. “You get to be happy and yourself for the rest of your life now… I just hope he’s good to you.” 

“He’s wonderful,” Wayne swoons. “I can’t even begin to tell ya, you’ll just have to find out when you meet him.” 

“I can’t wait.” 

“Me either,” Eddie agrees, even though he knows Mr. Clarke. “You know he taught me that first year I lived here, in the trailer, right?” 

Wayne nods, “he said you were a little shit and I couldn’t agree more.” 

“Oh, I see,” Eddie playfully rolls his eyes. “But, no, really, he is a great guy, Rox. He’s one of the best teachers around, he actually asked me to keep an eye out for Dustin when he moved up to high school.” 

“He did?” Wayne didn’t know that. 

Eddie nods, “Yeah, last September, apparently Dustin and Mike were walking down to the middle school to have lunch with him every day and he so sent them my way instead.” 

“He has a huge heart,” Wayne can’t sing his praise any louder, even the look on his face screams love. He’s so gone for a science teacher of all people. It’s cute. Eddie’s really happy for him. 

“You guys serious?” Eddie can’t help but wonder cause Wayne looks like he’s in love.

Wayne nods, “I’m thinking I might start staying at his place on Saturday nights, so you’d have the trailer to yourself… with Steve.” 

“He has an empty house 7 days a week, if we wanted alone time we’d go there,” Eddie reminds him with a smirk. “I don’t think he swings this way, however.” 

“Ah…” Roxy grits her teeth and tilts her head, thinking differently. “I wouldn’t say that.” 

“You can like both, clearly,” Wayne references to himself, dropping both their hands and crossing his arms. “Seriously, how could he not like you?” 

“Thanks, dad… I’m really glad we can talk to each other like this,” he softens again. “It’s nice.” 

“I always want you to come talk to me, both of you,” he looks back and forth between them. “I love you.”

They both say it back to him at the same time, only Eddie says it a little bit faster, sticking his tongue out at Roxy right after. “I win.” 

“This time,” Roxy teases back. “You know, we should take that family photo you wanted,” Roxy reminds Wayne, standing from the table to find her purse. 

“Maybe we can get Scott to take it?” Wayne suggests, “It’ll look better that way.” 

—

They’re all laughing when there’s a knock at the door, making all their heads spin towards it. “He’s here,” Wayne gleams, standing up from the table to go and answer it. “Scotty.” 

“Hey,” Scott walks into the trailer and right into Wayne's arms, holding him tight with his face in Wayne's neck. He breathes him in quickly and then pulls back with a smile and then he notices the other two people in the room. “Oh, oh, hi…”

“Scotty, these are my kids… you know Eddie already but, this is Roxy.” 

“Hello,” Roxy comes right over and puts out her hand, “it’s so nice to meet you.” 

Scott shakes her hand gently, “You look so much like Wayne, it’s remarkable… he said you looked a lot like Eddie but I had no idea this much.” 

She smiles, turning back to Eddie, “We need to start telling people we’re twins.” 

“I’m 2 years older than you,” he snips back. 

“So, when you turn 21 we can use it to our advant—” 

“Okay, hush with that,” Wayne steps in, smiling the whole time, “you can be delinquents when he goes home.” 

“Sorry… hey, Mr. Clarke,” Eddie just gives him a little wave. 

“Scott is just fine, it’s been ages since I was your teacher,” Scott can’t help but laugh. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, you’re always gonna be Mr. Clarke the only good teacher I’ve ever had,” Eddie compliments him in his own way, “it’ll be nice to have you around more.” 

“And you’re both okay with this?” Scott looks so genuinely worried. He knows Wayne well enough already to know that his kids are his world, even if it’s only been a few days since he found out about Roxy. 

“Super okay with it,” Roxy assures, “I always wanted a dad and now I might get two…” 

“Wait, can we call you our stepdad, now?” 

“No.” Wayne shakes his head at the same time that Scott lights up with a very enthusiastic, “Yes!” 

“Really?” Wayne looks at him, full of shock and awe. 

He nods, “If you’re okay with it?” 

Wayne holds his hand a bit tighter. “Well, how would you like to take a photo of me and your stepkids?” 

They get him the camera, they gather on the couch, one kid on either side of Wayne and they all smile. It’s the same smile. Their eyes light up with little wrinkles around them, they have dimples on their left cheeks, and they’re 100% a family. No tests needed. 

—

“Is there like an ice cream place here at all?” Roxy asks, wanting to break away for a bit. “We should go hang out, just us.” 

“Uh, not really? But we can get something at the 7/11?” Eddie suggests, “Come on, I’ll drive… Wayne, you guys want anything from the store?” 

“I’m good, you good?” He asks Scott, arm around him while they sit on the couch. 

“I’m fine, thank you,” Scott just scoots in closer to Wayne and smiles, he’s overjoyed with being out and supported for the first time in his life. 

“We’ll be back,” Eddie announces, he holds the front door open and lets Roxy out first, following quickly behind her and towards his van. 

They hop in at the same time, slamming their doors in tandem. He shoves the key in the ignition and turns it, starting his noisy van with a rumble. They buckle up, he throws her in reverse and he whips them around with a smile, “Do you drive at all?” 

She shakes her head, “no, I didn’t really need to drive cause I had a bus system to get around in Chicago… I really liked the bus.” 

“We have 1 bus but it only takes people into Indianapolis and it’s 3 times a week,” Eddie shares, “did you have to go to Indy first before you got here?” 

“I did, it took a few hours and I could only bring 2 bags of my things, but, it’s what I had to do,” she explains with a sigh, looking out the window at her new town. 

“If you want to go back and get some stuff we can use my van,” he offers, “it’s only fair.”

“I can ask Steve to help, you don’t have to—

“Really?” He almost can't believe it. “Why?”

“It’s not like that, believe me, he just… he asked me to call him instead of you if it involves coming to my apartment and Wayne told me why,” she explains, knowing this is going to suck to talk about. “I’m sorry, Eddie.” 

“Oh,” he didn’t expect either of them to tell her. At least not so soon. “It’s okay, I should be over it by now…” 

“No, you don’t have to get over it! She was your mom,” Roxy pushes back. “I don't want you to come over if it’s going to bring everything back, we can hang out at the trailer or with your friends and Steve made it clear he will drive me home for you.” 

“Don’t lead him on,” Eddie blurts out. He can’t help but worry. 

“I don’t plan on it.” 

“It’s just… He thinks you’re pretty and he hasn’t gone on a date since everything happened in March, so that means he really liked you… I’m not saying call it off and ditch him, just… just don’t string him along and leave me with the tangled mess,” Eddie begs. “I love him too much to see him hurt.” 

“And he loves you the same,” Roxy points out. “He was adamant about keeping you from the apartment and I saw the eyes you gave each other at the party… and the way he looks at you like you hung the moon is admirable. I want something like that.” 

“You really think so?” 

“Absolutely,” Roxy gleams, making Eddie believe it too. “Wayne said you two are basically inseparable, he was genuinely surprised when you said you weren’t going to see him tonight.”

“I want to, believe me… it’s just-- I don’t want to talk to him about you right now, he’s really into you all cause you look like me,” Eddie explains, “you’re the safe option for him.” 

“Safe?” 

“Straight. Normal, appropriate,” he lists off some synonyms for her. “It’s everything I can’t give him.” 

It breaks her heart a little to hear but she understands it perfectly. She stares at him for a moment, wanting to do something to help but she doesn’t know what… “do you want me to talk to him about it?” 

“What?” He panics a bit.

“I don’t know, man, maybe I could relate to him? I know what this is like… it’s not easy growing up in a family that looks at you but doesn’t see you, they have this whole life imagined out for you and you never fulfil their dreams and then you have to accept that in order to be yourself and be happy you have to leave them. If he wants to be happy, if he wants you, he should be able to have that, even if never talking to your mom again hurts like a son-of-a-bitch.” 

He pulls into the 7/11 parking lot just then and parks, slowly he turns the van off and looks over at her with the gentlest eyes. She’s crying slightly, wishing she wasn’t but it hurts too much to pretend anymore. “I’m so sorry…” 

“It’s okay, I’m going to be okay here,” she wipes her tears and gives him a little smile. “But I can talk to him.” 

“Okay,” Eddie agrees, it’s a better idea than Will’s, and easier than Robin’s advice to just tell Steve himself. “I want to tell him I love him for the first time, myself, though, okay?” 

“Perfectly reasonable,” she swoons. “I’d do anything for you, Eddie… I think this new life is going to be good for me and I wouldn’t have it without you.” 

He takes his seatbelt off and reaches over for a hug, she does the same, meeting him halfway to squeeze him tightly. He digs his chin into her shoulder, closing his eyes and relaxing. 

Finally. 

—

She spends most of Sunday in bed, tired from the last few days. Moving was stressful, finding her dad was rewarding and sharing her feelings was way too vulnerable… she needed to recover. She wanted to spend the next 72 hours under her covers, alone, without any responsibilities… but that wasn’t possible. 

She had a date with Steve and his feelings tonight. 

Her plan was simple enough, they were going to have dinner and a chat and she was going to invite him back to share a bottle of vodka she stole from her grandma before she left… she was going to share her own feelings with him and in return, he’d tell her all of his own. 

And she wanted to ask about Robin… she’s so pretty and funny and kind… it wasn’t hard to daydream about a date with her instead. If things went right with Steve, he could put in a good word and maybe, just maybe, she’ll finally get to kiss another girl. She stared at Robin’s lips a little too much on Friday, she talked a mile-a-minute and her smile was beautiful, Roxy couldn’t help but stare. Couldn’t help but think about kissing her lips and holding her hands and telling her just how beautiful she is. She deserves to know someone’s falling for her, she deserves to be fawned over. She deserves the world. 

Instead of dwelling on what could be, she rolls herself out of bed and into the shower. It feels nice to take care of herself after such a rough week, she spends a little extra time in there just to relax before she has to do her hair and maybe some makeup… she doesn’t want to lead him on at all. She wanted to be his friend, badly. But nothing more. 

She gets ready quite quickly, cleans up her apartment in case he takes her up on her offer to come over and then she waits for him downstairs, in front of the building. 

“Hey!” Steve calls out, his windows all rolled down, he barely had the time to turn down his music. 

She hops into the passenger seat with a smile, “Hey, there.” 

“You look nice!” Steve compliments her, “You ready?” 

She nods, “Yeah, thanks. Let’s go, I’m starving.” 

Once she’s got her seatbelt on, Steve takes off down the road, music on low, he tosses a smile her way and then goes back to the road, “How are you?” 

“Good… tired, but good.” 

“Don’t tell me sleeping problems run in the Munson genes?” He teases. 

She laughs, “It does, but I slept okay. I’m just tired from moving and all the social stuff I’ve been doing.” 

“Yeah, I feel that, tomorrow is my last day off for the next week,” he shares.

“How late did you work last night?” She asks. 

“Closed at 10, was home around 10:45 after doing paperwork and dropping Robin off,” he explains. “I went over to the trailer but it looked like a full house, I didn’t want to intrude, so I just went home.” 

“Yeah, we did Father's Day dinner yesterday cause it was Wayne's only day off,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly, not saying that Eddie was avoiding him. 

“Oh shit, it's fathers day today…” 

“Forget to call your dad?” 

He shakes his head, “We don’t call each other unless we need to… like if I burned the house down or my mom was in the hospital.” 

“Oh,” she nods along. She was right. She could sense it in him, their lives were similar. 

Before she knows it, Steve is pulling up to a diner with a big blue and red neon sign illuminating the parking lot, making up for the lack of sunshine today. It was gloomy and gross out, something she was used to in Chicago and it followed her here. 

Steve opens her door for her, takes her hand to help her out and she smiles awkwardly as she thanks him. Wiping her hand off on her pant leg without meaning to, she keeps a bit of distance from him on the walk-in. He holds the door for her, lets her pick their booth and sits on the side facing the door so he can see everyone who walks in. He’s a protector type. No wonder Eddie was safe with him during whatever happened in March. 

They order pretty fast, both getting burgers and fries and a couple of cokes. The lady takes the order, she leaves them alone and they basically are. No one's in tonight, which is weird for Father's Day… but Steve says most families moved away after the earthquake, and those who stayed can’t really afford to eat out that often with repairs. 

They talk about the town, about his friends, the school he went to and she shares stories about living in the city. It’s nice. She can see why Eddie likes him so much. He’s easy to talk to, he’s kind, and even though she’s not into dudes, he is really pretty. 

She starts to pull apart at the piece of bun that fell off her burger and she eats it little by little as the conversation lulls to a halt. She feels awkward, he does too, so she says the first thing that comes to mind. 

Robin. 

“How long have you been friends with Robin?” 

“Oh, uh, I think a full year now,” he can’t believe it as he says it. “We started working together last summer at the mall… before it burned down.” 

“And you looked for another job together? That’s so cute,” she swoons. “Your friendship seems adorable.” 

“And you have nothing to worry about, she is strictly a friend. Platonic with a capital P as she would say,” he recalls with a fond smile. “She’s more of a sister to me than anything, I feel like we were separated at birth or something.” 

“No, that’s good, really good actually,” she makes a note of that. Hopefully, Robin didn’t have any romantic interest in him either. “My dad said you’re a huge flirt so I was wondering why you never flirted with her last night…” 

“I’m not a huge flirt?” He’s taken aback by that, “I’m just nice to the people I like…” 

“So you like my brother?” She teases him, she’s always picked up on the way Steve was with Eddie and vice versa. 

There was an obvious tension there. 

He stutters and turns a deep red, “what? no…” 

She leans in close and drops her voice so no one outside of their booth can hear her, “Is that why you asked me out? Cause I’m like a girl version of Eddie?” 

He buries his face in his hands and rests his elbows against the table with a groan, “how’d you figure me out so easily?” 

“Steve, this is perfect,” she reaches over and pats the top of his head as he looks up at her. She brushes his hair out of his face and smiles, keeping her voice low and just between them, she tells him the truth. “I was worried I wouldn’t find the queer scene in Hawkins, or if there even was one…? Do you know other gay people?” 

“I’m not…” he can’t even say the word, “but yeah, I do? Wait, are you saying you’re—” 

“Gay?” She confirms with a nod. “The gayest. I love women so much I almost passed out when I saw Robin for the first time.” 

“Oh, she’s going to love this,” he leans back against the booth and shakes his head with a building smile on his face and then he flicks his attention back to her. “Wait, so, you’re not mad I asked you out but don’t really have feelings for you?” 

She shakes her head, “you’re still paying, right?” She teases, not caring in the slightest. Having him as a friend was going to be nice.

“Of course,” it was a no-brainer to him. “Can I ask you something?” 

She nods, “anything?” 

“Robin always jokes about being the gay cousin in her family, so if you’re gay does that mean that Eddie won’t be?” He asks, legitimately believing the joke. 

“Steve, honey, that’s not a real statistic,” she wants to laugh at how absurd it was but he genuinely doesn’t know. “And why would it matter… you said you’re not gay?” 

He shrugs, “I’m not… I mean, I—I can’t talk about it here.” 

“That’s okay, but you should talk to someone about it… I’m done here if you want to go?” She offers, “I have a bottle of vodka at my apartment if you really want to get your feelings out?” 

“I would actually love that…” 

—

She sets the bottle and two shot glasses down on the table, “I only have Mountain Dew for a chaser… is that okay?” 

“Yeah,” Steve really didn’t care. “It’s been a bit since I’ve gotten drunk… we’ve had too much going on these last few months.” 

“I bet, I can’t believe how often your town was on the news lately,” she says from the kitchen. “Did you get hurt in the earthquake at all?” 

“I got hurt before… it’s a long story, I’m not even sure I can talk about it all. I can say it sucked, though,” he manages to give her a smile as she places the cans in front of him. “It was the worst week of my life. And I’ve been through some shit.” 

Steve pours them each a shot before she even sits down on the couch beside him. He can feel his heart beating 10 times as fast and his hands are clammy, but this is the best chance he has at getting all this shit out of him that’s haunted him for years. If he told Robin she’d give him a hug and she’d support him through it, obviously, and he’d love that but he doesn’t ever want her to look at him and know that she sees him differently… and Eddie. He can’t tell Eddie because if Eddie knew, he’d really kill someone and he’d really go away this time. 

Roxy is the best option. She’s safe, she’s kind, she’s gay… she has no idea who Steve Harrington is, he can’t ruin his reputation if it doesn’t exist here. 

He downs the shot and cracks open the mountain dew to chase it, coughing a bit, he makes a funny face, “God, that’s awful.” 

“I stole it before I left,” she admits, reaching for her own shot. “I doubt my grandma will even notice it’s missing too…” 

“Do they know you’re here?” 

She nods, “I think so… they don’t really care where I am as long as I’m not being a sinner under their roof.” 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Steve gets it right away. “Did you tell them or did they find out?” 

She downs her shot and coughs too, holding her chest with a grimace, “Ugh… I uh, I told them. I only wanted to tell them if I had something lined up after graduation, cause then it wouldn’t matter what they said… I could just leave. Eddie was my ticket out of there. I didn’t need a college to run to or a job to start, I saw him on the news and the reporter said he ran the dnd club and had a band and there were rumours he was queer and I knew if my mom didn’t support me that my dad might.” 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers, reaching out and laying his hand on her knee for a moment. He gives her a gentle pat and then reaches back to the bottle for another shot. 

She shrugs it off, pretending she’s fine. “It’s okay, I guess… I told Wayne last night and he was exactly as wonderful as I expected. So was Eddie…” 

“Obviously,” Steve says through the burn of the shot. “Even though Eddie’s never said the words out loud, to me, I know… and he knows I know. I assume he’s also told Wayne by now and even if he hasn’t, I remember Eddie told me one night that Wayne picked him up from a sleepover and he told him he was always going to love him no matter what… and that sleepover was the first time he thought about wanting to kiss another boy and it was like Wayne always knew… like maybe he saw himself in Eddie.”

“Yeah, I think that’s right… and you know about his boyfriend, right? It was Robins theory but—” 

“Oh, no, I know!” Steve lights right up at that, “It is Mr. Clarke isn’t it?

“He told me and Eddie last night at dinner, and we met him, he’s adorable with Wayne,” Roxy beams, “did Eddie tell you anything about last night?” 

Steve shakes his head, his face goes glum again, “No, it’s been radio silence since the party… he didn’t even come into the store these last 2 days.” 

“He was busy with Nancy yesterday, she helped him get two copies of adult adoption papers so that Wayne can be both of our dads, he didn’t know that my mom put Wayne on my birth certificate, so I didn’t need a copy, it was just nice that he thought of me,” Roxy looks genuinely happy. She found her place in the world and it’s working out for her. 

“So Wayne’s his dad now?” 

Roxy nods, “They both signed it so, I think so, yeah.” 

“Why didn’t he tell me?” 

“He thinks you’re not into him like that,” she’s brutally honest. “He also called dibs on you last night… I mean not in those words, but he did tell me I better not string you along and leave him with your tangled mess. It was kinda poetic…” 

Steve groans, “Oh god, he thinks I’m a mess?” 

“No, he just can’t deal with you pining over someone else when he loves you so much,” she lets it slip and her eyes go wide. She quickly covers her mouth then, “I wasn’t supposed to say that.” 

The alcohol must’ve hit them both at the same time, making her slip up… Steve feels it in his face and in his ears, everything is hot and his heartbeat is loud. It gets more intense as her words settle in. Eddie loves him. 

“He loves me?” Steve repeats. 

“Of course he does?” She leans right into it. “Wayne told me about Eddie’s history with this place, that’s why you offered to drive me home instead…” 

Steve nods, “he doesn’t need any added pain, he’s been through enough.” 

“How was he not supposed to fall in love with you?” Roxy can’t help but laugh, “you’d take a bullet for him, wouldn’t you?” 

“You have no idea… really… none at all.” 

“No, but he does,” she moves the focus right back to Eddie’s love for him. “From his little speech last night, I know his mom died and his dad abandoned him and for a long time it was only Wayne that he could depend on… he wants someone to make the conscious decision and pick him regardless of what’s going on. He wants someone who’s going to stay with him forever and that’s you, Stevie.” 

Steve doesn’t know what to say, he stares down at his hands and twiddles his thumbs, pulling at a hangnail real quick… he wants that too but it’s scary. Everything changes if he admits his feelings and they date. Every single aspect of his life changes. It’s so overwhelming he starts to cry, pinching the bridge of his nose, he turns away from her so she won’t see it. But she hears it. He lets out a choked sob, he covers his whole face in shame and loses it. 

“Steve,” she moves in closer and wraps her arm around him to rub his back, she shushes him in a soothing tone, “it’s okay, breathe, you’re okay.” 

“I want that…” he says through the tears. “I just… I can’t— I can’t love him quietly. You know?” 

She knows a bit too well. “I know.” 

“My dad’ll kill me,” he tries so hard not to sob, biting his lip so it won’t wobble. 

“Can I be honest?” 

He just nods, scared but he wants to hear it. 

“I met your parents on Friday night—

“No?” 

“Hopper and Joyce love you like family. Robin is your sister, Dustin loves you like a brother, those other kids look up to you and even your ex-girlfriend still loves having you in her life,” Roxy recounts, she saw the way everyone treated each other. She noticed how much of a family they are. 

Steve knows she’s right but it’s easier said than done. 

“I told them at my graduation dinner, right after the cake… they asked me when I was going to get a boyfriend and settle down if I wasn’t going to go to school and I said never, cause I’m a lesbian,” she stops to stare off at the wall, taking a few breaths with her tongue caught between her teeth. “They uh, they were quiet and then my mom lost it.” 

Steve doesn’t know what to say, he goes to say he’s sorry but she cuts him off. 

“It wasn’t ‘you’re going to hell’ or ‘you’re a sinner’ or anything I expected. She was mad because my grandma never let her boyfriends move in—not after what happened…”

“God, I’m sorry,” Steve can’t believe it.

“She said I can’t be gay cause I was always leading her boyfriends on and if I am then she wasted the last few years being single and not having dudes over just because of me… like it’s somehow my fault all the men she loved were fucking creeps?” Roxy can’t help but rant, it just falls out of her. “She was always a bitch, she never gave a single fuck about my feelings and it’s not like she was around that much so it shouldn’t hurt this bad but—

“No, I get it… my parents are nowhere near the best parents in Hawkins like they barely crack the top 1000, but the idea of them unloading all the shit I’ve heard them say about other gay people onto me is going to kill me, if he doesn’t,” Steve empathizes. “And I can’t get an apartment, I’ve only been working this last year and it’s not like I have a trust fund or life savings, if they find out I have to find a way to live on $6.50 an hour.” 

“You could move in here,” she offers, “we could split the rent?” 

“Then Eddie won’t come over,” he reminds her. “I’d be doing all this for him… none of the other dudes I’ve had crushes on were ever worth coming out for.” 

“You know, Wayne’s not going to let you go homeless either… everyone in your life will offer to take you in if your parents kick you out.” 

“The last thing I want is to feel like a burden on everyone,” he admits, reaching for the vodka again, he takes a swig right from the bottle this time. 

“Ew, gross,” she snatches the bottle back from him. “If you want to go crazy, I’ll get you a bigger glass.” 

She stands up and her eyes go wide as her balance gets thrown, “fuck, okay, I’m good.” 

“Do you get drunk often?” Steve asks, watching her walk back over to her tiny kitchen. 

“Uhhhh… I tend to drink alone,” she admits as she returns with two regular glass cups. She sets them down and pours at least 3 shots into Steve's glass, less in her own. “I’ve never been invited to a house party or had friends that wanted to come over…”

“In my experience, there’s never a guest list for house parties, you can just show up,” Steve knows from experience. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an explicit invitation…” 

“So you’re a partier and a flirt…”

“Some would say I’m a slut,” he picks up his glass and gives her a cheers. “Robin, specifically, used to call me a slut, actually.” 

“Used to?” 

He just nods, pouring his Mountain Dew into the vodka so it’s easier to down quickly. “I’m going through a dry spell.” 

“It’s only a dry spell if you’re trying to get dates,” she calls him out, guessing that he’s been too hung up on Eddie to really make a move on someone else. 

And she’d be right. 

“At first it was just cause I was busy taking care of everyone and everything… me and Eddie were in the hospital for a few days and Dustin sprained his ankle, that took a while to heal and you should see how he gets when he’s even slightly sick or sore, he’s a total baby,” Steve complains but he clearly loves it. “And then we went back to work and Robin started seeing Vickie and having her sleepovers so I kept going to see Eddie and it just became so routine, I mean, I have a toothbrush in his bathroom and his clothes are in my drawers…”

“How long have you known?” 

“That I love him or?” 

“I’ve known that I like girls since I was 5 and I discovered the bra section in the Macy’s Christmas catalogue,” Roxy can’t help but smile, it’s just the tiniest bit embarrassing. “It made my heart race and a part of me felt a little shameful but, they’re just so pretty and they looked so soft… and I’ve never felt that way about a boy. Sure, you’re cute, and Argyle was handsome and I can see why Nancy likes Johnathan… but Robin, oh my god?” She sighs, tipping her head back, and staring up at the ceiling. “She’s so pretty.” 

Steve just laughs, “Yeah, I thought I was in love with her for about 3 days last year… It turns out I have a hard time differentiating between romantic love and platonic love at first.” 

“But you know how you love Eddie?” 

“Pretty terrifyingly positive,” Steve admits, sipping on his drink, he holds it close to his chest like a hug and stares off at her wall. “I thought I just wanted to kiss him, at first, something about watching him talk made my heart feel like a magnet and I kept getting closer and closer and I wanted him to devour me with those lips… he kissed me in his sleep once. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around me, he kissed the back of my neck and snuggled in and— and thats when it all hit me.” 

“And you’ve never told anyone that before?” Roxy can’t believe it, not even Robin has heard this before and she can tell from the look on his face. 

“It’s nice having someone to talk to who doesn’t know anything about me. And it’s even nicer that you feel so much like home,” he smiles at her, his shoulders drop and all the tension in his system disappears. “You have no idea who I am, what I’ve done… he knows everything.”

“You need to talk to him,” Roxy says with a sigh, she can’t say anything more. Eddie wanted to be the first one to tell Steve he really loved him, Roxy couldn’t take that from him. “Do you want to use my phone? You need to talk to him.” 

“No, no, no,” Steve shakes his head, waving one of his hands. “No, I’m not saying it on the phone, I have to go see him.” 

“You can’t drive?!” she reminds him, her voice getting a bit louder than she expected. “Seriously, Steve.” 

“So, I’ll walk,” he goes to stand but he’s a bit wobbly. He’s had a quarter of the bottle and all he ate today was dinner. 

“No,” she reaches out for his hand. “I’ll call him, he’ll come get you. He’s not afraid to come here, especially not if it’s for you.” 

“Fine,” Steve slams himself back down onto the couch, “but we’re waiting outside for him…” 

“Okay,” Roxy agrees, heading over to the phone on the wall. She hasn’t had to make a call yet, she really hoped it worked. 

Wayne’s number is on a piece of paper taped to the wall, she put it there for when she’d eventually need it and thank god… she was a little too tipsy to dig through all her shit looking for it now. She dials the number quickly, she holds the receiver to her ear and she waits… and waits… but nothing. 

“I don’t think he’s home?” 

“Ah, fuck,” Steve’s head slumps forward with a sigh, he waits just a second and then tugs himself back up to his feet. “555-2744, thats Robins, he goes to her when I’m busy.” 

He watches Roxy dial the new number and wait again, only this time she gets an answer. “Hey, Robin? It’s Roxy. Yeah, hi…” she gets all smiley, “I’m good, how are you?” 

“Hey,” Steve shoves her. “Ask about Eddie.” 

“Is Eddie with you?— He is? Can he come pick up Steve? We got drunk and he wants to go home,” Roxy explains, nodding along and then she hangs up. “They’re on their way.” 

—

They’re sitting outside on the bench when Eddie pulls up in his van, he throws 'er in park and jumps out just as quickly as Robin. “Is he okay?” She asks first, also reaching Steve first. 

“I’m fine,” he pushes Robin's hand off his arm, drunker now since he chugged the rest of his drink. “I wanna go home…” 

“I’ll take you home,” Eddie smiles softly, not expecting Steve to stand and throw himself at him. But he does. Eddie catches him with an “Oof, okay, big fella.” 

“Just you,” he whispers. “Only wanna go home with you.” 

Eddie just holds him, “okay… Robs, can you stay here with Roxy and make sure she doesn’t get drunker without anyone around?” 

Robin nods, turning to Roxy, “What got into you two? This was a date, was it not?” 

“Nooo!” Both Roxy and Steve turn to her to assure her, hands raised and both mildly disgusted. 

“Okay, damn,” she looks back at Steve, unable to read him when he’s drunk, “you be good for Eddie, don’t start running on him like you do with me.” 

“That was one time,” Steve points, squinting, he can barely hold himself up, luckily Eddie is there. “I’m fine… I just wanted my Eddie.” 

“Well, you got me,” Eddie can’t help but smile. “Come on, let’s get you in the van… goodnight ladies, call me in the morning?” 

“I will,” Robin smiles back. “Take care of him, he’s one of a kind.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” 

“Shh,” Steve covers his mouth, “don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” 

Eddie laughs, turning him towards the van and helping him into the passenger seat. He helps him with his seatbelt and takes a leap of faith… he kisses Steve on the forehead quickly, “Stay put, I’m just running around to the driver's side, okay?” 

Steve grabs his arm and holds him there, staring into his eyes, pouting slightly. “Don’t be long? I always miss you…” 

“I won’t,” Eddie assures him, pulling away and shutting the door. He turns back to the girls, who are watching intently. “See ya.” 

“Bye,” they wave in tandem. 

He rushes around to his side and hops in quickly, “see, I’m speedy.” 

“Mhm,” Steve closes his eyes and leans back against the headrest, slightly turning towards Eddie. 

He starts the van and pulls out into the street carefully, heading back towards Steve's place… it was always weird to think they lived so close, the trailer park and Kerley were only separated by a farmer's field. It would take 10 minutes to walk. They shared the same bus all through school for crying out loud. 

The drive is quiet, Eddie almost thinks Steve is asleep until he speaks. “You missed the turn?”

“I’m going to your house?” 

“No, I wanted to go home,” Steve whines. 

Eddie’s heart swells as he takes a deep breath, realizing that Steve means the trailer. 

His house isn’t his home. 

Eddie is. 

[resident-gay-bitch]

okay, i don’t know where this thought came from. sue me. i don’t care it’s amusing.

———

steve was very drunk. like, super drunk. he’d faced the almost-end of the world for fucks sake, you can’t get mad at him for wanting to get drunk.

vecna had happened, and they’d almost killed him, and then eddie died. but then he wasn’t dead anymore, he was brought back to life by none other than their resident bad guy and practically betrayed the party, but then he didn’t… it was so confusing, steve was just trying to not die whilst defending everyone else the whole time. dustin kept making references to this “kas” guy… eddie seemed to agree, once he was back to his normal weird self.

eddie had graduated, today actually, after summer school. the weather was hot and eddie was finally free and they wanted to have a party and celebrate success. freedom.

so, here they were. all drinking the night away and laughing and dancing and fuck, all those hits to the head really fucked with steve’s tolerance because after those three shots with robin and the two beers he’d had prior, he was blasted. he decided to stop drinking, but then eddie was nice enough to make him up this “special concauction” and he couldn’t say no. so another drink down… and a strong one at that.

so steve was drunk. very drunk. so drunk that his consciousness wasn’t really there, and his vision was blurred, but he was still having a good time. just no more alcohol. he yelled that out to everyone, made sure they all stopped him from the beers.

he was dancing with robin, their arms linked as they jigged around the room to Gimme Gimme Gimme, singing off the top of their lungs. everyone was amused, especially because robin was now out to everyone there since she started seeing vicky, and steve was a guy. a straight guy at that. right?

eddie was slumped back against the wall, beer in hand, he was pretty drunk too, but not nearly as gone as steve. he was smoking a joint, passing it to jonothan beside him. nancy gave them shit for smoking inside, but it was steve’s house, not hers, and steve didn’t care. they poked their tongues out at her.

eddie had his eyes locked on steve, as they had been ever since gym class in their shared senior year. steve just wore such tight little shorts, and when eddie was forced to go up against him in one v one basketball against his will, and he was trying to get the ball and steve shoved his ass into eddie’s crotch in defence… well, yeah. eddie hadn’t gotten an erection so fast since middle school when he had to get changed in the locker room for the first time.

he wasn’t sure if he’d had a chance with steve. sometimes it seemed like he was flirting, but then he’d start talking about this pretty girl that came into work and all hope would be lost. why must life be so confusing?

steve however, had been harbouring secretive feelings for eddie since like… his freshman year. well, he didn’t know he liked eddie back then, he was just so entranced by this weird guy with gorgeous eyes and soft pink lips and a daring grin and such confidence. he was in awe. he’d only realised he actually liked eddie, after talking with robin about his bisexuality and after dustin wouldn’t shut up about the guy.

he couldn’t blame the kid though. eddie was everything.

but god these feelings sucked ass. steve just wanted to be normal, he didn’t need to deal with being more of a disappointment. he hated himself. and he hated eddie because there was no way eddie could be into him, right? eddie was straight. he had to be. i mean, it’s not like eddie ever talked about girls, or had ever had a girlfriend, or seemed interested in the girls steve tried to set him up with, or had any nudie mags lying around his room or any thing like that… but like… he wasn’t gay. he just… no.

and so he was drunk and dancing and singing about wanting a man after midnight and seeing eddie stare at him whilst high out the corner of his eye, and his vision was blurred but it looked like eddie was smiling at him, ignoring jonothan even. god everything was so much. steve either needed to go to bed, or to hook up with some pretty girl. that’s what he’d do anytime he’d have stupid feelings about tommy back in the day.

they finished their dance and then some sappy love song started playing and vicky came over for a dance with her girlfriend and steve took that as his cue to leave. and he did. he stumbled over and threw back another shot before dustin could pull it from his hands because shit, feelings sucked man. especially the gay ones.

why weren’t there any pretty un-lesbian girls here?

oh, there was nancy… her and jonothan were broken up again… he thought… maybe? god it was too hard to keep track. but… it was worth a shot, right? she was clearly attracted to him, at least once.

he walked over to her leaning against the window she stood in front of, crowding her in and putting on his flirtiest grin, “hey there.”

“hi.” she looked at him weirdly.

“how’s it goin?”

“uh, good?” she glanced over to el and max who were just a few feet away, watching and giggling.

“so, i was thinkin…” he put on a charming little laugh.. at least, what he though was charming, “you and me-“

“nancy!” mike shouted from the kitchen, “where the fuck are the cupcakes mum made?”

nancy rolled her eyes, thanking the gods for her insufferable brother, pat steve on the bicep and walked away.

fuck.

he slumped against the window and decided he needed more alcohol.

he managed to steel some from dustin’s cup once he’d put it down to fight with lucas, both of them rolling around on the ground. he slinked away before dustin could notice.

“hey! who…”

steve giggled to himself and stumbled over to argyle, who was fiddling with the music. he made some small talk with the dude. he seemed cool enough. steve wanted to request some tears for fears.

he saw nancy staring at him and his cheeks flushed a little pink, she seemingly looked him up and down before turning to head upstairs. her hair, in all it’s curly glory, bounced as she bound up the steps and steve was intrigued. so he followed.

he struggled to climb the stairs at first, his feet finding the wrong spots and almost rolling down a few times, but eventually he got there. he noticed his bedroom door open.

yes.

distraction with a gorgeous girl, ago. thank fuck she got the message, right?

nope. no one was in there… but then the door to his ensuite swung open and nancy drunkenly stumbled out. steve grinned at her.

“hey gorgeous.” he winked, taking a few slow, very stumbly steps forward.

she clearly was very flustered, “uh, hi…”

steve shut his bedroom door, and then they were enclosed in darkness, “funny seeing you here.”

yeah, he’d kind of lost his charm over the years. blame it on the head trauma.

“ah… yeah?” her voice was deeper than steve remebered… must have been the alcohol fucking up his brain or something, making everything sound wrong.

steve took a few steps closer, until he was right in front of her. she was taller than he remebered too… maybe she was wearing platforms… maybe steve had shrunk. he was probably just super drunk.

“i’m glad.” steve grinned, leaning in a little. she hesitantly leant back, “thought we could have a little fun, whaddya say?”

her eyes widened, “fun?”

steve nodded, “yeah, you and me.” he reached a hand up, curling a finger around a lock of her hair. it felt different. he liked it more, “always loved your hair, you know.”

he felt her melt against him, “you have?”

he nodded, getting closer, “it’s gorgeous.” he whispered against her lips, his other hand slinking around her waist, “i’m gonna kiss you now. is that okay?”

she nodded, crashing her lips into his… it felt different. so different. i mean, it had been a while since they had last kissed. but like, someone’s mouth can’t change that much, right? once again, he blamed it on the alcohol. he sunk his hand into the glorious locks on the back of her head, and she relaxed into his hold, slinging her arms over steve’s shoulders and pulling him closer.

she pulled back and muttered, “fuck, been wanting to do this forever.”

steve’s cheeks turned pink… the last time he’d talked, nancy seemed barely interested in him like this. maybe she’d just been horny lately, and jonothan may not have been as good at sex as steve. that was probably it. steve pulled her backwards and pushed her down onto the bed, climbing over her and kissing down her neck, her jaw, sucking at her skin until he left a purple bruise under her ear. she moaned, a lot, the whole time. steve didn’t remember her being this responsive, but it really turned him on. he came back to her lips and kissed her fucking silly, his hands slid up from her hips, under her shirt and up- wait… he felt around a little. nothing… no bra, no tits, just a flat chest with… pierced nipples? he pulled back in a flash and leant over to turn his lamp on.

fuck.

that wasn’t nancy.

“steve?” eddie asked, seemingly very confused.

“i-“ steve stared, shaking his head as he crawled off of eddie.

fuck, he’d just kissed eddie. oh my god he’d just felt up eddie. oh shit he’s just made out with eddie. he’d fucking sucked a hicky into eddie’s neck… and he let him? he… he’d been wanting to do this forever? shit he was so drunk.

“sorry.”

eddie turned pink, “sorry?”

“i shouldn’t… i th-“ steve took a deep breath, sitting down on the edge of his desk because he was too dizzy to stand still, “i thought you were nance.”

there was silence for a while too long, “you saw me walk up stairs… followed me… looked me dead in the eye and kissed me, all whilst thinking i was nancy?”

“yes.”

well fuck, “oh.” eddie turned white.

“your gay?” steve mumbled out.

eddie was about to cry, “no.”

silence again. “what?”

“i thought you were…” eddie shook his head, racking his brain for a girl that was here that was straight that was old enough that looked enough like steve… of course there was no one, “i don’t know.”

was steve’s first kiss with eddie seriously a drunken accident?

“sorry.” eddie squeaked and ran away.

because that’s what eddie did best, right?

by the time steve made it back down stairs, eddie was gone with the night.

he hadn’t heard from eddie for two whole weeks. after two weeks of missing eddie, steve told robin what had happened. she slapped him.

“are you serious, steve?” she shook her head, “you actually had him underneath you and you ruined it with your stupid heterosexual honesty? you could have just lied, you know? told him later!”

steve groaned, slamming his head on the counter repeatedly, “i know… but he said he’s not gay-“

“he obviously lied.”

“how do you know that?”

“ah, steve…” she scoffed, “if a girl made out with me drunk, then pulled back telling me she thought i was a guy, to then randomly ask me if i was gay, i would lie about it too.”

“oh.” steve stared at the window, “oh.”

“oh!” she flung her arms out.

steve drove straight to the munsons after work that night, and knocked on their door. eddie opened it, guitar slung over his back. he’d been practicing. it made steve all hot and bothered. eddie went white when he saw him.

“steve…” he looked away awkwardly.

“can i come in?”

eddie hesitated before sighing deeply and stepping out of the way to let steve in. he shut the door behind them and took his guitar off. steve wasn’t sure if he was more disappointed or relieved about that.

“whaddya want?” eddie asked, standing awkwardly in the room as steve took a seat on the couch. he needed to sit for this.

“sorry.” steve mumbled.

“for?” he knew what for.

“for kissing you and then telling you i thought you were nance.”

“so… you didn’t think i was nance?” eddie scoffed, “jeez. came up for some experimentation with the freak and realised you didn’t like it, classy, steve. real classy.”

steve looked to the ground, “no… we’ll, i-“ he huffed, hating himself a little too much right now, “i did think you were nancy.”

“amazing.” eddie muttered beneath his breath.

“i just… i wanted sex… is all. i was horny and needed a girl-“

“great.” eddie emphasised the T, “i needa know about that, why?”

steve rolled his eyes, he hated how irritating eddie got when he was feeling emotionally venerable. tell tale sign one that steve had definitely hurt him, and that eddie was one hundred percent into dudes. at least fifty percent into steve.

“because.” steve sighed rather dramatically, “i just… i needed a distraction, okay?”

“okay?” eddie shook his head, eyes wide, “and? i’m not a fucking mind reader, steve.”

steve started to grow a little angry with eddie’s attitude, furrowing his brows and practically growling, “fuck you for looking like nancy.”

eddie rolled his eyes and laughed, “wow, sorry for not living up to your wet dreams.”

steve stood, getting a little defensive now, “asshole, the reason why i was trying to sleep with nancy is because you are my wet dreams.”

“ah huh.” eddie nodded with a disgusting grin that steve knew was there just to spite him, “sure. i’m your wet dream in the way that pigs fucking fly.”

steve folded his arms in a grump, “your a jerk, you know that?”

“your a fucking dick.” eddie snapped back, “learn how to handle your drink.”

“sorry for not realising my tolerance got lower, you know, after sacrificing my life and consciousness for you and all!”

“oh, here we go. you gonna cry hero, try and get my sympathy or some shit?”

steve clenched his fists. that’s the last thing he’d do, “as if. maybe if you’d actually done something with your life other than being a shitty drug dealer, none of that bullshit would have happened and then i never would have mistaken you for nancy!”

eddie laughed again, and it made steve’s insides clench, “wow. just… fucking wow. what ever happened to the ‘oh, it’s not your fault, ed’s. there’s nothing you could do, ed’s. don’t beat yourself up, eds’?”

“maybe, if you weren’t such a dick you would be getting that treatment.”

“you are such a bully.” eddie shook his head, “still king steve at heart, aren’t you?”

steve gritted his teeth, “don’t call me that.”

“what?” eddie leered forward with a teasing smirk, “don’t like the truth, your highness?”

steve scrunched up his nose, shoving a finger into eddie’s chest, “that’s rich coming from a peice of shit, trailer trash freak, like yourself.”

eddie pretended that didn’t hurt as much as it did, “at least i’m not fake.” ouch.

“at least i’m wanted.” fuck.

eddie took a moment to absorb that, shrugging slightly, “but nancy didn’t want you, remember? she broke up with you, for jonothan… and then rejected you the other night, when you came running for the freak instead.”

“hmm,” steve muttered, taking another step closer, thank fully he was taller than eddie so his intention to intimidate seemed to work, “but you did.” it was his turn to smirk.

eddie’s smugness faultered for a moment, only a moment, but steve noticed. of course he fucking noticed. eddie furrowed his brow, clenching his fists and practically blowing steam out of his ears. steve knew he’d got him. he’d hit a sore spot and he was winning. and then he felt a little guilty, because that’s exactly something king steve would have done. fuck.

“maybe i was just using you, jackass.” eddie fought back, “experimenting with a guy with a big enough mouth to fit my cock.” eddie smirked again.

steve’s nose scrunched up in anger, the words shooting down to his dick but he refused to acknowledge that, “motherfucker.”

wow, great come back steve. amazing.

“cunt.” eddie grinned, looking up at steve but managing to intimidate him nonetheless.

“you are such a dick.” steve huffed, his voice seemingly quieter.

“you’re an emotionless asshole.” eddie whispered back.

“am not.” great job steve. yes. fix it by talking like a seven year old.

“are too.” eddie faught back.

“am. not.” steve sneered, “i happen to have a lot of stupid emotions.”

“sure you do.” eddie nodded once, his voice condescending as fuck, “enough emotions to… use your ex girlfriend for sex… or enough emotions to fuck over the only gay guy you know out of spite?”

steve smirked, “so you are gay? awh, you do want me.” he teased, poking eddie in the nose, “how cute. you got a crush on king steve, eddie? did i make you think all your stupid little dreams could come true?”

eddie slapped his hand away from his face. fuck. he nudged forward again, “fine. you got me. but you are a terrible kisser. i feel shame to all those girls who went all the way with you, i just got lucky enough that you felt the need to stop.”

“oh, you fucker…” steve shook his head, “i’ll have you know, i’m renowned for my sexual prowess. a god in the sack, if you will.”

“someone’s feeling a little cocky.” eddie scoffed.

“says the cock sucker.” steve smirks.

“no one said i did the sucking.” eddie grinned.

steve huffed, “all i’m saying, is that you can’t lie to me. once you got a taste, you didn’t want to stop.”

“it was sub par.” eddie shrugged, “like soggy popcorn after a movie. if it’s offered to you, you’ll take it. but it doesn’t mean it’s good.”

steve chuckled, “you seemed to think it was good the other night.”

“it’s my word against yours, big boy.” eddie grinned, “prove it.”

“i will.” steve nodded.

“how?” eddie nudged his face up into steve’s, catching him by surprise.

steve thought about it for a moment, looking at eddie, feeling the warmth of his breath on his face. those gorgeous eyes, his perfect hair and those pretty pink lips. he licked his own lips, looking between eddie’s eyes and his mouth. eddie seemed to be doing the same.

“i will.” steve whispered.

“no you won’t.” eddie smirked.

“shut up.” steve scoffed, eyes locked on eddie’s lips, watching his tongue dart out to lick them. he wanted to suck on eddie’s tongue.

“make me.” eddie quirked an eyebrow.

and steve did make him. eddie was shut the fuck up with a hot, hard kiss. he pulled back quickly, blinking once, twice, three times up at steve, catching his breath. steve looked at him for a moment, understanding the confusion behind eddie’s eyes. he sighed, still with a little aggression.

“i wanted to fuck a girl because i was having stupid thoughts about fucking you again and i needed to get rid-“

and that was good enough for eddie, so he kissed him again. shoving him back until his knees hit the edge of the couch and he was falling down into it, and eddie was straddling steve’s lap and pulling at his shirt and kissing him harder.

steve ended up with a matching hickey under his ear.

neither of them apologised, but after about three weeks of dirty, roughed up sex, robin had caught them making out in steve’s room and blurred out, “thank fuck! i thought steve would never admit he was practically in love with you!”

that got her a pillow thrown to her head, and a series of questions and teasing from eddie. they’re boyfriends now. but they still hadn’t apologised.

[dragonflylady77]

Snowball fight at the junkyard

ch2 - You owe me $20

Billy & Steve | Teen & Up | 1003 words 2400 words all up

Billy Hargrove is soft for Steve Harrington, Billy and Max are good siblings

Square: A3 - The Party approves for @billyhargrovebingo

Summary:

Steve knows he should let go of Billy’s hands but he can’t. There’s this force inside him that keeps pulling him closer and closer to Billy and he’s tired of fighting it.

Read on Ao3

(chapter 1)

***

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Sorry. Just needed a minute.”

Steve knows he should let go of Billy’s hands but he can’t. There’s this force inside him that keeps pulling him closer and closer to Billy and he’s tired of fighting it.

If he’s honest with himself, it started on the first day he saw Billy on the carpark at school, then things got messy between Nancy dumping him and that fight with Billy at Will’s house. Billy keeping his distances after that made Steve how much he’d been relying on the other teen’s attention. Now they’re on speaking terms, almost friends, really, unless Steve does something stupid. Like kiss the guy. Because he wants to. God, he wants to.

Billy’s eyes match the blue of the sky today, and Steve can’t help the way he stares when Billy’s tongue swipes his lower lip.

Steve isn’t even aware he took a step and let go of Billy’s hands until he’s standing so impossibly close his hands are on Billy’s hips and he can feel Billy’s breath on his cheek.

“Harr—”

Steve bridges the gap and presses his lips to Billy’s mouth, before the enormity of what he’s doing hits him like a ton of bricks and he pulls back, his hands letting go like he got burnt, his eyes looking anywhere but at the boy he just kissed.

“Oh fuck.” Steve touches his lips and Billy mirrors his gesture. His face is bright pink and his eyes are wide in shock. Steve can’t believe he actually did it. He kissed Billy Hargrove.

When Billy still doesn’t move, Steve starts to freak out.

“Please, don’t punch me.” The whispered words are out of his mouth before he can stop them and he watches Billy recoil against the minivan.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, knowing how it sounds and hating himself for the way it makes Billy’s demeanor instantly change.

“D-Don’t worry about it, pretty boy. I know how irresistible I am.” The words are the usual cocky statement but Steve can hear how Billy’s voice wobbles slightly at the start.

He moves closer again, one gloved hand coming up to cup Billy’s face. “I’m sorry about what I said, not about what I did.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“In that case…” Billy moves off the minivan, one arm banding around Steve’s waist while his other hand slides into Steve’s hair, fingers gripping tightly as Billy pulls Steve to him, bodies and mouths slotting perfectly against each other.

Steve feels the tip of Billy’s tongue along the seam of his lips and he opens his mouth to let the other boy in, his soft moan getting swallowed. Steve has kissed, and been kissed, before but this is different. Better. Billy kisses him with his whole body, holding him close, plundering Steve’s mouth with that tongue of his, making Steve wish they were in his bedroom instead of a snowy old junkyard with a bunch of kids.

They break the kiss when they’re both out of breath, freezing when they hear a twig snap a moment later. They immediately duck below the minivan’s windows, feeling way too exposed. Their hands find each other, their fingers entwined as they listen for more noise, then they start moving towards the front of the van so they can have a look at the lay of the land.

Steve spots El hiding behind a green sedan missing two doors and Billy quietly gets his attention to point to Will not doing a very good job at staying hidden next to a mustard-colored wreck further along on their right.

They hear another twig snap and decide to make a run for it before their position is untenable. It could be Max fucking around with them but it’s more likely to be Lucas or Dustin, both of which Steve knows for a fact take snowball fights very seriously.

“You go first, I’ll cover you,” Steve whispers to Billy who nods before he takes off at full speed towards El. Steve watches him throw a snowball at Will, hitting his target, before he dives into the green sedan, startling El.

Steve hazards a glance behind him as he starts running away from the minivan, noticing a flash of color behind a tree a few feet away and he ducks behind a mound of compact snow a second before a couple of balls hit it.

He’s busy making snowballs as fast as he can, crouching low, glancing up every so often to see Dustin and Lucas advancing on him.

“Fuck.”

He hears a solid twack then Max’s laugh so he figures she hit Lucas. He looks up and throws a couple of balls towards Dustin who manages to avoid them only to get hit from the side by Max who runs to El.

“Where the fuck are you, Wheeler?” Steve mutters under his breath. He stands up to look beyond the pile of snow and spots Mike the moment the gangly teenager sees him. Mike is holding two balls and Steve has none left.

Mike takes aim. Steve hears “Pretty boy, duck!” a second before Billy tackles him into the snow, Mike’s snowball hitting the spot he was standing in front of a second ago.

“Oh come on!” Mike groans when El hits him with her own, her happy laugh ringing loudly in the clearing.

“You okay?” Billy asks, his arms still around Steve, his strong body pressed against Steve.

Steve nods. The chatter of the teenagers becomes background noise when Billy looks at him and Steve wraps his arms around Billy’s shoulders.

“Thanks for saving me, Billy,” he whispers.

“Anything for you, pretty boy,” Billy replies, giving him a quick peck.

Steve goes after him but someone clearing their throat stops him. He looks up to find the six teenagers standing in a circle around them.

Dustin is looking shocked. Lucas looks like he’s trying not to laugh and Max is smirking.

She holds a hand out to Mike.

“Told you. You owe me $20, Whiny Wheeler.”

[eiightysixbaby]

Nah, if I was trying to kill you, I’d bring in Vampire!Eddie.

It’s been a year since he came back changed. Everyone takes turns with his weekly feeding so he doesn’t have to hunt in bars unless he absolutely has to, and having human once a week is enough to keep the beast down. Since there are four of you (you, Steve, Nancy and Robin), everyone gets plenty of time to recover between feedings.

While everyone has adapted to the schedule with relative ease, eventually Eddie notices that he really looks forward to his nights with you and his nights with Steve. While there was always a level of intimacy in the act, it was different with you two.

Eventually, he can’t stop thinking about either of you. He feels like he needs to be with both of you. When he’s away from you both, he feels incomplete now, and it’s only halfway better when he is with just one of you.

Then, when Eddie is leaving Robin’s one night when it was her turn, she causally lets it slip that you told her you were considering going out with a coworker who asked you on a date, and that Steve was considering chasing mindless flings again.

Eddie was not prepared for the wave of jealousy and possessiveness that washed over him upon hearing that.

okay so, vamp!eddie is not my thing (a bitch hates blood 😔) like he’s sexy with fangs but otherwise… it just makes me squirm.

BUT. I feel like the tumblr hoes need this content Kort so I am sharing it I just don’t feel like I can adequately contribute to it 😩

possessive eddie is soooooo hot though I’m here for that, he’s gonna keep you and stevie alllll to himself ;)

[fairysteve]

I'm having a lot of fun with @thefreakandthehair's Spicy Six Fic Challenge, and while I'm not completely finished yet, I do have something. I'll post the complete thing to AO3 once I'm done.

My prompt is "All these lights, and not a single one is flickering. That's a nice change of pace, huh?" but it does not actually show up in this part. Also, I went for angst with a happy ending, so this part is all angst. Steve-centric, of course.

embraced by the darkness (waiting for the lights) (part 1)

The holiday season had snuck up on all of them. With the gates, and with Max, time had just passed differently. Trying to think back, Steve can only remember volunteering, shifts at Family Video, and making sure everyone around him was okay. He’s had a few calls with his mum, but his parents hadn’t wanted to return to Hawkins considering everything. Not that Steve has celebrated Christmas with them in years; they stopped bringing him with them once he aged out of being his mum’s cute angelic child, aged out of living up to his dad’s expectations. The last time he got close to celebrating Christmas with anyone was when he and Nancy were dating and he spent as much time as possible in her home, but even then he had spent Christmas Day alone.

Knowing that this year would be no different, Steve had been the first to offer to take Lucas’ place in the hospital; allowing him to take a break and celebrate with his family. It was better to be here with Max than be home alone, although there’s not a lot to do other than staring at the walls; white was never a colour he had an opinion on but after spending most of the year in and out of Max’s hospital room, Steve has grown to hate it. The kids' drawings help break up the monotony of the room, and it helps cheer him up to think about them. Even if the paper underneath their drawings remains white.

He has never felt right drawing anything to add to the collection. He loves Max like a little sister, and except for Lucas and El, he has spent the most hours by her bedside, but he’ll always be unsure of his place in other people’s lives.

He thought his parents would always love and care for him, but then they started leaving him alone, they started forgetting about him, and when he no longer had the illusion of a promising future to hide behind, his dad cut him off. The relationship he’s trying to repair with his mum is fragile at best.

And he had thought Nancy loved him but that turned out to be bullshit, and now he still doesn’t know how to be her friend. He doesn’t know how to be Jonathan’s friend either and hasn’t really tried, to be fair. Steve can’t truly look at them without remembering who he was in high school, feels like they’ll always see the asshole that let things happen. He used to be so passive about everything.

He still feels passive sometimes, surrounded by kids so much smarter than him. All he’s good for is being another body between them and the monsters; he knows he can make anything a weapon, knows he can kill a demo-whatever. The problem is when the monster is human and he has to hold back; when he has to be a shield and not a weapon. Some nights, he feels like he has Barb’s blood on his hands. Billy’s too, for what his death did to Max.

During the past months, he has woken up thinking it was Max's or Eddie’s blood. Thinking he could have saved them if he was smarter, faster, better.

He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he actually were responsible for another person’s death; if he tried to protect and instead caused irrecoverable harm.

With a shaky exhale, he leans back in the hospital chair. It’s not very comfortable, but none of them has ever complained. Trying to find a position that won’t kill his back gives him something to think about, something to focus on that won’t make him spiral. The last thing he needs is to have an anxiety attack next to Max; she would never let him live it down if she knew.

Maybe it would be worth it if it would finally force her awake, if seeing Steve being pathetic was the last push she needed to open her eyes.

He needs to redirect his thoughts somehow. Needs a distraction that won’t push him further towards a spiral. Music is out of the question; none of them has been able to listen to Kate Bush in the same way, and any song now carries the possibility of being life or death for someone. Or maybe Steve is the only one to think that; the others are still happy to fight over control of the radio when he drives them around, and he gets frequent updates on how Corroded Coffin is doing. At least music wasn’t taken from any of them.

There’s something dark about how he feels better when he’s the only one that suffers. Steve would carry all their pain on his shoulders if he only could. Would take all their nightmares and flashbacks and triggers so that they can smile and laugh and continue to be kids. He would take the pain from Robin, and Nancy and Jonathan, and Eddie too. From Joyce and Hopper and Murray and anyone else that has gotten involved.

Steve sometimes thinks he would shoulder the pain of the whole world if it allowed them to be done with the Upside Down. Thinks that it would be worth it if everyone stopped having to grow up so fast.

Thinking about growing up does remind him of the book he brought; the book he always brings. It’s not every time that he reads from it, but it feels like one of those days that need a fairytale to brighten things up. It will give him something to do at least.

The book of fairytales is old, something his mum used to read him to sleep with before his dad argued that he was too old for stories. She let him keep it, a secret between the two of them, a keepsake from when she was a mother and not a distant figure. It’s one of Steve’s few possessions that mean something to him; he can recite each story verbatim if asked, but he prefers having the comforting weight of the book resting in his lap, prefers reading the words from the worn pages.

He flips through the pages to the story of the little mermaid and begins to read, softly enough that only Max can hear him.

Steve wishes that he could find a sea witch now; he, too, would cut off all his hair for his sister to live. Would throw away the dagger too; would turn into seafoam for her. And if not seafoam, a spirit of air.

Maybe Max is a spirit of air, looking down at him now. But that would mean that they’ve lost her—

The heart monitor provides a comforting background noise as he continues to read, doing his best to not stumble over the words that he knows by heart. For now, Max is alive, for now, he can focus on reading for her, for now, he can hope that the fairytale reaches her, wherever she is.

-

He must have dozed off at some point for the next thing he knows a nurse is gently shaking him awake. There’s a paper cup of coffee getting pressed into his hands, although it’s probably much too late for caffeine. Max’s room doesn’t have a clock on their insistence and the dark comes early these days, but he thinks it should be the end of visiting hours if he’s getting woken up. Not that visiting hours always matter; especially the first few months had found them in and out of the hospital at all hours of the day.

“You should head on home, son. There’s snow coming.” the nurse tells him, voice just barely loud enough to be heard with his decreased hearing. Steve thinks he mumbles something coherent in response since they leave after making sure he won’t drop the cup.

The coffee is strong, but the bitter taste helps him come back to consciousness. Sleep comes rarely to him, but it always drags him down deep when it does. He has taken to keeping the nail bat by his bed; needs a weapon close at hand when waking up takes too long. Not like the weeks after something has just happened and any noise has him sitting up, ready for a fight.

If he’s getting less or more sleep now, Steve can’t tell. He gets enough that no one notices, enough for him to function, and that’s enough. It has to be.

Once he’s gotten the coffee down, Steve closes the book that thankfully hadn’t fallen to the floor while he slept, and puts it in his bag before pushing himself up from the chair. Nothing has changed with Max since he last looked at her; the rhythm of the heart monitor is the same. He takes a moment to make sure that she’s tucked in comfortably and that there’s no hair on her face, before saying goodbye with a kiss on her forehead— a last bit of warmth for the road.

-

Sitting in his car outside the hospital, Steve takes a moment to decide where to go. He has been told by Claudia more than once that he’s always welcome to spend time with her and Dustin, no matter the time of day, and Robin has promised to keep a chair free for him if he changed his mind about spending Christmas with her. Even Joyce had sent an invitation through Hopper, and Mrs Sinclair had promised him leftovers if he came by that evening.

Steve doesn’t feel right about intruding on any of them. The one time he tried taking up an invitation, he had sat outside in his car for twenty minutes, stuck in an anxiety spiral, before he drove home. It’s easier for everyone if he just skips the middle step, so there was really only one answer.

He gets home before the snow, but just barely. The first flakes are falling as he hurries from his car to the door, not dressed for the cold. His gloves and scarves have ended up with the others who needed them more; he can make do by zipping his jacket the whole way up and sticking his hands underneath his armpits. And he can surely find another pair of gloves and another scarf if he goes through his parents' things; they have left a lot of clothes behind, and they fit him better every year.

The house is warm in temperature only, and he’s once more thankful that his dad hasn’t thought to pause the bills. His parents' unreliable schedule is good for one thing only; never knowing when they will be home means that the house is always in working order. The downside, of course, is that Steve rarely feels comfortable inviting anyone over; not knowing if his parents will come home or if he’ll have enough time to clean up before they do… He always finds himself getting too worked up to truly relax.

He used to smoke, but then the Russians… it’s not the same kind of drug, but Steve can't stand not being in control of himself. Alcohol is out of the question for the same reason, and partly because he remembers when Nancy got drunk and has felt uncomfortable around intoxicated people ever since, always wondering if they’re going to blow up at him.

Steve wants to be of help, finds a purpose in being useful, in being able to love and be loved in return. To have all that thrown back at him, having it called bullshit… Nancy Wheeler has changed him in many ways, only a handful of them good.

When he shivers, it’s more due to his thoughts than the temperature. Still, he keeps his jacket on even after he has put away his bag and taken off his shoes. Exhaustion has come over him like a heavy blanket now that he’s home, and Steve wants nothing more than to go to bed. He does take a moment to look towards the kitchen, to try to remember when he last ate something, but he doesn’t think he would be able to keep anything down. The anxiety that he had felt in the hospital is worming its way through his veins now, and he wants to be in the safety of his bedroom before it overcomes him.

It doesn’t take long to get there, taking the stairs two steps at a time. He has long since learned how to find his way around the house in the dark, how to do so quietly, and fast. His room is the furthest to the left; turn left once up the stairs, and then to the left again. With his parents' room being the furthest to the right on the first floor, he doesn’t have to be all that quiet, but Steve has always been more anxious than anyone would think.

He would lock the door behind him, but there isn’t one. He can only hope that he remembered to lock the front door; not that a locked door can stop the monsters. Steve glances towards the wall at the thought and immediately glances away; he’s not bleeding; the gates aren’t completely closed even after all these months but they’re too small in size for anything to come through; he’s safe, and he has his bat.

He knows he’s safe, so why is he unable to breathe?

His jacket feels constricting and he cannot get it off soon enough. His throat aches and Steve moves to get out of his sweater as soon as the jacket has fallen to the floor. He needs to breathe, he needs to get everything off, he needs to, needs to, needs to—

Warm tears are making their way down his cheeks as Steve collapses to his knees. The nail bat is too far away, but he doesn’t know what he would use it for. It doesn’t stop him from crawling towards it, wanting the comfort of the wood in his hand. He has years of practice in how to hug it close without hurting himself on the nails.

If he could only breathe properly, he would be singing. There is one song that still brings him comfort, but only when his mind is playing tricks on him. It’s the song, the one that would save him from Vecna. But Steve is almost hyperventilating when he finally gets his hands on the bat; singing would only make things worse. He could force himself if he heard a clock, but much like the hospital room, all clocks are removed from the house.

Even after months of not seeing his parents, it took until he almost collapsed from a lack of sleep and anxiety before Steve removed them. He still doesn’t know how to explain if his parents come home.

Especially not their prized grandfather clock. It’s safely put away in their bedroom, the pendulum having been removed to stop the chiming. He didn’t dare put it in the garage; couldn’t pack it away in a box like he did all the other clocks.

Thinking about clocks - thinking about his parents - does nothing to help his breathing. Steve is fully hyperventilating, the bat hugged close like it’s a stuffed bear. The tears falling down his cheeks feel endless, and snot has started to run down his nose. His lips are salty when he licks them.

If he were a braver man, Steve would call someone. But everything inside him screams at the concept of willingly showing weakness, especially months after everything happened. He hasn’t had to reassure Robin or Dustin or Lucas over the phone since before the school year started.

He spent the anniversary of the mall burning - of the Russians - with Robin, but after that… everyone else just seemed okay.

Steve could barely get out of bed for all of November; couldn’t do anything at all for Thanksgiving.

The tears come harder at that; at the thought that he’s the only one still suffering. His scars give phantom pain as he curls his torso inwards; trying to make himself small while still hugging the bat close. His whole body shakes with his sobs now, they almost get stuck in his throat as he struggles to get any air.

Steve is back with the vines, is back with the bats, is back with the Russians and the demodogs and the demogorgon in Byers house.

And then the doorbell rings, and he’s in his bedroom, is half-naked on the floor with nails dangerously close to digging into his stomach.

The doorbell rings again and the sound echoing through the house shocks him so badly that he chokes on a sob, almost coughing his lungs out as he tries to get himself in control. Whoever is waiting at the door can’t see him like this; can’t see him as anything else but the fighter, the protector, the shield.

He’s tempted to hide in his room until they leave, but he would never; what if it’s the kids, what if something has happened, what if they need him— Steve’s mind is racing with scenarios - each worse than the one before - as he scrambles to get himself together. The bat gets dropped to the floor, and scratches his stomach in his haste, but he can’t feel it as he covers it up with the sweater. He knows he got the sweater on backwards, but that doesn’t matter if something is wrong.

Steve is trying to scrub his face of all traces of tears as he jogs down the stairs, the doorbell ringing a third and then a fourth time in the background. He knows he doesn’t succeed, knows that his eyes must be puffy and red, knows that there’s snot on his sleeves now, and that his hair is in disarray from where he must have been pulling on it in a useless attempt to ground himself. He knows that he must look like a mess and that he has no explanation that he’s willing to give, but hopefully whoever’s at the door has more important things to worry about than him. Most things are more important than him.

His hands are shaking as he tries to get the front door open; he unlocks it and then locks it again, not able to remember which direction is which as his thoughts fly in hundred directions at once. He’s out of breath when he finally gets it open - from the panic attack that he can still feel, from trying to get presentable and down the stairs as fast as possible - but he plasters a shaky smile on his lips in hope of covering it up.

The smile gets slightly more real but no less shaky when the door has opened enough to reveal Gareth and Eddie, the latter looking ready to press the doorbell a fifth time.

[steviesbicrisis]

part 1

[TW: internalized homophobia | compulsory heterosexuality]

Eddie doesn't want to have a problem with Steve.

Steve is great, he's one of his best friends, contrary to all predictions, he enjoys his company, he feels at ease around him, and he knows he can always count on him.

He really doesn't want to have a problem with Steve.

When he had come out to him, a few weeks ago, Steve looked so scared and worried about his reaction. Eddie had reassured him immediately that nothing was going to change and he meant it. He hated the look on Steve's face, the idea that he didn't know if he could trust him.

Of course, Eddie was surprised. Never in a million years he would have thought of Steve as a gay - actually, bisexual - person. But other than surprise, Eddie desperately wanted to be cool with it, to be there for Steve.

It wasn't as easy as he thought.

Slowly, Steve begins to be more open about it - as much as a small town in Indiana could let him: he talks about it with Robin, sometimes with Eddie; he comes out to other people, like Dustin, Nancy and Jonathan; he ventures gay bars outside of Hawkins, he tests the waters until he's comfortable enough to actually make a move on someone.

Eddie feels bad every second of it. For every little milestone in Steve's journey, Eddie has an ugly rancid feeling at the bottom of his stomach. "I kissed a guy last night", Eddie wants to puke.

"There was this hot dude, we got out for a smoke and then-", Eddie stops listening because he knows he's close to snapping.

"I told Dustin, you wouldn't believe how cool he was with it!", Eddie feels bad, wishing he was a better friend.

Eddie tries to overcome these emotions, he really does. But sometimes he would make a face, say the wrong thing, huff or roll his eyes and Steve would notice every time.

The last straw for both of them comes on an ordinary Thursday evening. Steve is beaming and sighing as he looks out of the family video door, until Eddie has to ask what is going on.

«I have a date, a guy asked me out last night. Like, a proper date!»

«Wow Harrington, I didn’t know you gave up on women entirely» it is supposed to be a joke, but comes out bitter.

They fight. Steve can’t take any more of the snarky comments and the bad looks and Eddie knows that he’s right, but also he’s doing his best, he just needs time.

Steve tells him it’s better if they stop hanging out for a while and Eddie protests, but he can’t do more when Steve tells him «if you can look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have a problem with me, then I can go past this and pretend it never happened.»

He tries but Eddie can’t do it, he can't lie to him. Steve’s face falls and Eddie gets out of the store being mad at everything but mostly at himself.

—

No one says it, but it looks like a breakup. Their friends pick up sides: Robin refuses to talk to him, Nancy and Jonathan are disappointed in him but still hang out with him when Steve isn't around, Dustin doesn’t know what happened but calls him a dick for good measure.

Eddie doesn’t complain, he knows what he deserves.

The only person who's still happy to talk to him is Chrissy. After their disastrous first date -Eddie will never ask Robin for movie advice ever again, a musical about pirates with reincarnations and lightsabers, what was she thinking?- somehow she was still happy to keep dating Eddie.

Eddie likes her, she’s nice, pretty and she isn’t as clingy as other girls Eddie dated before. They mostly talk and do stuff together, sometimes they make out but nothing more, Eddie likes it better that way.

They’re going back to his van after dinner when Eddie spots Steve in his own car, with a guy. Steve is laughing at something the guy says and then they’re kissing.

Eddie doesn’t know where the rage inside of him comes from, but he needs to leave. He realizes too late that Chrissy saw them as well. The rage turns into fear.

«Chrissy, don’t tell anyone what you saw, please» he pleads, worried about Steve.

She takes a look at Eddie’s face, then back at Steve. A thought crosses her mind.

«Uhm yeah, sure… can we go back to your place?»

Eddie is nervous for the whole ride. Half of him is worried about Chrissy saying something about Steve around, the other fears that she plans to have sex with him tonight.

Eddie opens the door for her and follows her inside, nervously.

She asks for a drink but she doesn’t step any closer to Eddie which makes him relax a little.

Actually, she sits at the opposite end of Eddie’s couch and only after they had a good amount of alcohol in their system, she faces Eddie.

She comes a little closer to him, and he feels nervous again. She seems nervous too so he completely misunderstands the situation.

«I don’t wanna have sex tonight!» he blurts out, surprising the both of them. She stares at him for a second before chuckling.

«Eddie, relax» she smiles reassuringly «this is not about us- I mean, also us but- I wanna talk about Steve.»

Eddie looks at her, completely thrown aback by her request. She knew that they had a fight but she didn't know about what, obviously, so she probably connected the dots after what she saw and his reaction.

He tells her about everything, the words come out easily and she is a great listener, mostly nodding from time to time. By the end of it, she looks determined.

«So, I get you wanna get over these ugly feelings because Steve is your friend, right? I think I can help. Drink more» she lends him another beer from the coffee table «and bare with me, okay?»

«First of all, let's talk about gay people. Does it bother you if you see two guys together?»

«Well no, not really» he answers, after giving it some thought.

«So this is about Steve» she concludes for him «it bothers you thinking of him with a guy?»

He doesn't want to admit it, but he also trusts Chrissy «yeah, it does...»

«And, does it bother you thinking of him with a girl?»

«What does that have to do with-» Chrissy interrupts him «just answer the question. If he got a girlfriend, someone that he really liked, would that bother you?»

Eddie gives it some thought. He had seen Steve dating girls before, but all of his dates turned into a disaster. It was something he expected, he had noticed and made that comment about him dating nerds.

What if he found another girl like Nancy? or someone like Robin who liked him back?

Horrified, Eddie realizes he doesn’t like the sound of that either.

«Oh shit.»

AN: the final part is almost done, I thought it would be better to split it and not make you wait too long after the first part, I hope it’s okay! Thank you for the support on the first part, really! If everything goes well I'm posting the last part tomorrow.

If you’re curious, Robin made Eddie rent The pirate movie, please google it if you have time. It’s so bad. Robin is a great friend to Steve, not so much to Eddie.

Part 3

----

Tag list: @funnymagicman-named-dandy @manda-panda-monium

[capriciouslyterminal]

When Eddie Met Steve 👀🚨👀🚨

So in case you haven't heard this is a When Harry Met Sally AU because I genuinely couldn't stop thinking about them in several key scenes so I fully started planning new moments of interaction and re-introductions for the both of them. This would be...the second one? And they'd be driving up to New York.

He’s standing on the corner of Monroe and Victory, his life crammed in a duffel and his old basketball bag at his feet, and his heart isn’t in his hands as much as it’s been ground into a messy little pulp on the concrete in front of him. Like he’s just tripped and dropped it onto some train-tracks while the subway rushes towards him. That’s a stress nightmare he’s been having for a while now, except it’s the championship game and he’s holding the ball and his big shot (the one for all the marbles) is flung under the wheels as he trips. As he thinks oh, that’s it.

Game over. It’s a thought that has been following him around like the stink of mold on a towel you kept using for too long. A smell and spots that seemed to just be part of the poor thing now, no matter how many times you run it through the machine.

The temptation to fling himself after that basketball, to just let the rest of him be crushed up into its own messy paper ball as well, is all-consuming as he waits for a ride he can’t call to say maybe he shouldn’t be moving across three states. Because Nancy’s the one with a cell. She said she’d let him use it. He put that number down in the job applications he’d already submitted and he has no more idea of how he was going to change that when he gets to New York than he does as to what train route he’s going to have to take to his new apartment. 

How the fuck is he going to figure out the subway of all things? For a moment he is paralyzed with indecision, with the way that all the numbers and routes Nancy once showed him on a map she’d brought back and rattled off like lottery numbers seemed to pile in the corners of his mind like dead skin. The knowledge is left limp in his hands like hair he’s pulled out of his head. For a moment he is paralyzed at the thought of his hair, of how it must have looked when she got out of her car twenty minutes ago.

For a moment he is following a phantom with his eyes, following the lines she’d made in that map. How she traced each line with a finger, tapping against the spongy surface with a nail that she had gnawed to the quick but painted just before she got home, which only made him think about how he used to connect the freckles along her back. Nancy was supposed to be able to help him with that, Nancy was supposed to show him the best places to eat and the worst places to drink and which routes would get him from his shoe-box apartment to the museums she loved and wherever he’d end up working. Oh man, where’s he gonna work? How is he gonna live? How does he live without Nancy Wheeler?

The question feels inescapable, incomprehensible, and Steve’s never been great at riddles. Never been great at working out the complicated stuff, never been known for showing his work in a particular order to clue someone in as to how he found his final number. He was more of a stare at the test with his feet kicked up, chew on his pencil, decide when he was done, and write something that felt right on principle type of guy. It was something Mrs. Raleigh, the retired calculus teacher his parents hired to get his ACT score up, had hated him for.

There’s always a way to get there, Steven, and it will do you well to show someone the way. And eventually he had, at her kitschy dining room table, and he’d managed to pass Calculus with her and Nancy shoving him the whole way. And then he’d made it through Hawkins U by the skin of his teeth with Nancy’s calls from Emerson telling him to get his ass in gear if he wanted to keep up with her.

But now, standing on the sidewalk it all feels useless. It all feels undone, and a piece of shit van the likes of which he’d entirely forgotten about pulls up beside him and lays on the horn thick.

[thestobingirlie]

your own words.. “first of all, it isn’t even a real relationship” yet you’re acting like steve and the ship is and you’re making scenarios in your head. literally fighting headcanons with headcanons. and it is WEIRD to make a sapphic ship about a man. “Yes a MAN is at the center of a relationship between two WOMEN.” bc yeah!! Robin is not her OWN character she’s property of Steve’s character and she needs to do what he says. and likes only what he approves even if Robin’s heart wants what it wants!!! Best friends forever <3 in canon Robin is pushing Stancy but yeah!! Let’s make a fuss about a NON CANON ship !!

Also "if nancy was the man people would hate her" is so funny because that girl has been overhated since season 1 even when Steve slutshamed her. Also if my boyfriend slutshamed me to the whole town (no matter if he cleaned it up bc people already saw it to change the way they view me) and if he expected me to get drunk to get over my best friends death i wouldn’t love him either !! Fuck that guy. last thing: if you LOOOOVE Steve is so funny you try to erase his development with the “steve s1 defender” like he was an asshole even his bff robin said it <3 but yeah let’s defend him while i shit on nancy for everything at this point (things i’d love and defend steve if he had done it!! < that’s literally u)

this ask was kinda incomphrensible, but i’ll do my best to answer it anyway!

so, i suppose my point wasn’t clear enough, but “it isn’t real” is that not only are they fictional characters, but it is a FANON ship. there is no evidence for it in the show. so these people getting annoyed at men being inserted into a sapphic relationship, are just making up things to be annoyed about. there are no real lesbians being harmed.

also, this isn’t just to you, but it is so strange to me that people think considering other people in a relationship is making that ship about them. you can’t use the fact that r//nance is a sapphic ship just to say they can do what they want and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt. that’s not how life works.

i’m not sure what headcanons you think i’m making up, i honestly can’t think of anything. i’m just talking about r//nance and why i think it wouldn’t work. i don’t think you know what headcanons are tbh. i was just explaining basic character traits and how they would work against the ship.

and yes, steve is quite firmly involved in this relationship. nearly every conversation robin and nancy have is about steve. because their interactions are used almost solely to push steve and nancy together

steve would never tell robin to do or not do something, nor have i ever said he would! oddly enough, when i write posts, i’m writing from MY perspective. not steve’s! steve would do quite literally anything to ensure the people he loves are happy, even at the expense of himself. steve, while being unimaginably hurt, would step aside for robin. he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. he wouldn’t be the one to stop the relationship on account of him, robin would.

now, robin can do whatever she wants. however, i think it would be a terrible thing to do to your best friend. it isn’t that i think robin is incapable of dating nancy, or that steve would stop her, it’s that i don’t think robin would do that. she loves steve, she spends the entire season trying to get nancy to date steve again, because she wants him to be happy. so no, i don’t think she would do something that would cause him pain. because he is her best friend. you can think that robin would actively hurt her friend like that if you want to, but i think that’s a very sad view of her character.

and the only reason I’m criticising this non-canon ship, is because i saw people bashing people that didn’t ship r//nance, which is honestly such a joke. i, however, tagged my posts so people that did like the ship wouldn’t see them. if you chose to willingly engage with discourse about a ship you like, and then got annoyed about it, that is your problem.

“the heart wants what it wants” is such a weird excuse. first all, robin doesn’t even have a crush on nancy, so it’s laughable you think that’s a problem. but the heart can want something that the head knows is wrong. at the end of s2, steve’s heart is still in love with nancy, and wants to be with her. but his head knows they don’t work, his head knows she wants someone else. so why pursue the relationship? let’s say robin had a crush on nancy. her heart may want it, but her head knows the relationship would be devastating to her relationship with steve. and i think she would consider that relationship more important then a possible girlfriend.

and yes, people hate nancy for a variety of reasons, some because of her character traits, some because of her actions, and some because of sexism. however, i was talking about s/ancy. people largely blame steve for how bad the relationship was, my point was that if you make nancy a man, but keep all the beats of the relationship the same, it would be nancy that would come out of the show looking bad. i think she made a lot of mistakes in her relationships, with both steve and jonathan, and the boys made mistakes too. but i wasn’t making a post talking about them, i was talking about nancy and robin. so, if i’m making a post explaining why i don’t think r//nance works, i have to mention her pitfalls, not theirs. unless you want me to centre a sapphic relationship around two men?

now, i like nancy! she’s cutthroat, and unempathetic and does what she wants even at the detriment of others, she’s driven and sometimes she’s so focused on doing what she wants she forgets to consider other characters. i think that makes her an interesting character. what i don’t like is that those flaws are never spoken about, nor even recognised as flaws. the show pretends she doesn’t even have them! which is a terrible way to treat one of the main characters.

people like to bring up the slutshaming a lot, which was super wrong and deserves to be called out! but nancy willingly chose to date steve after s1. so it would be fucked up if she continuously held that against steve after choosing to date him again. but also, she clearly doesn’t hold it against him! it is never mentioned again after s1, and nancy is over it. also! steve did not force her to get drunk. nancy has freewill, if she desperately did not want to go to the party (and considering she was trying to entice jonathan into going and she had planned out costumes with steve, she did), she did not have to! it is not on steve to try and solve nancy’s trauma, and she’s a big girl in control of her own actions.

i don’t think you understand, i know steve’s done bad things. we all know. i just think he’s overhated within the fandom for them, so i defend him. but if you notice, i’ve still called him a cunt, because he was a cunt in s1. but i still like his character! it’s possible to do that, you know? like a character but still acknowledge their faults. i honestly think they make a character more interesting. i suppose it’s fine you want your characters lovely and pure, who’ve never done a thing wrong. but i think you’re watching the wrong kind of shows. like… i’d recommend watching shows for toddlers if you find it hard to understand a character doing a bad thing and still being a good person.

so, yes, i do say i’m a s1 steve defender. people try to separate that season from all other seasons when saying they like steve and i think that’s dumb. s1 steve is brave and caring and over-protective and willing to sacrifice his life to try and save jonathan and nancy. it’s not that i love steve’s bad actions, it’s that i think they’re interesting. steve flipping out at the cheating, and goading jonathan into a fight just because he wants to punch him and be punched, is interesting! i like analysing those aspects of steve’s characters.

also. his bff robin called him a douchebag for not knowing who she was, eating a bagel messily, and because the girl she liked had a crush on him… so…

i think you must’ve only read one of my posts, because of lot of what you’re saying directly contradicts things i’ve said before, which is kind of embarrassing, but to each their own. but anyway, if i’m gonna get criticised for not liking r//nance, and told that means i don’t understand the characters, i’m allowed to make my own post about why i don’t think it works :)

pushing love and light out into the universe, hope you learn that people are allowed to have different opinions <3

[loveronlineee]

Stranger Things Season 4 Volume 2 spoilers.

At first it was denial.

I saw the signs. I saw how he said Never change Dustin Henderson. I saw him say again and again that he’s no hero. I saw him go back to give the others more time. I watched as he lay so close to gone with Dustin holding him and I still didn’t believe it.

Then it was shock.

How the time skip happened and everyone was safely back, out of the upside down. No mention of Eddie from anyone, until Dustin.

Then it changed again, going back and forth between heart wrenching mourning and white hot anger.

I am upset. The kind of upset where your feelings overcome your body and you can’t even stand, your knees giving in beneath you. Crying on the floor. Watching the tears fall onto the ground, inches from your face.

I am upset. The kind of upset where you can’t even hold back the fury. Where nothing will calm you down and you’re shaking and tense, and you just have to feel that feeling with every fibre of your being until it turns back into tears.

I convinced myself that Eddie wasn’t going to die. I read posts saying that Eddie and Jonathan were gonna have scenes next season, they put forward the point that Why would there be so much promotion for a character that wouldn’t even be in the next season?

I couldn’t even enjoy the rest of the episode after that. I couldn’t be excited about Robin and Vickie. I didn’t feel anything when Hopper and Joyce reunited with their kids. I didn’t care that Hawkins was in trouble. Nothing else mattered after that. I felt numb.

Thank you Joe Quinn. For bringing alive a character that I love more than any other I ever have. No other is even close. And fuck you Duffer brothers for absolutely ruining him.

I’m only half serious, because I understand that when you make something and people love it, you’re terrified that one day you’ll fuck it up and all those supporters will turn on you. I know that the Duffers originally didn’t want Eddie to be that likeable, since they planned on killing him. But they didn’t change what they planned even after casting Joe.

And I think what makes me the most angry is that his death wasn’t even a good death.

No one mourned for him. There was no funeral. We don’t even know that much about what happened after. We can assume that they just left his body there, to rot in the upside down. Alone. Forever.

He never got to meet Will. He would have loved him. He would have taken him under his wing and protected him and become a second older brother. He never got to meet El and see her awesome powers in action. He never got to meet Hopper, or Joyce, or Murray or Argyle or Holly or any of the parents or anyone else.

I wanted to see him become part of the group. I wanted to see him interact with the others. What would Hopper have said after taking one look at him? It would’ve made me laugh whatever it would’ve been. I wonder what Eddie would’ve thought of Dustin’s girlfriend Suzie. Did he even know that this girl with superpowers was Mike’s girlfriend???

His name was never redeemed. Everyone still hates him. He never graduated. And no, he didn’t die a hero. His death wasn’t an epic sacrifice like Billy’s was. He died even though the exact same thing happened to Steve and he survived.

His death didn’t feel like it meant anything.

And it should’ve

It could’ve.

If Eddie died it could’ve been him protecting Steve, Nancy and Robin. He reaches the house, saves them but ultimately doesn’t make it. Maybe he makes such a ruckus that Vecna has to find him and kill him himself, giving El and Max more time to save themselves.

If they were planning on it, it could’ve been so. Much. Better.

Duffer brothers you made me fall in love with a show and continue to love it for 6 years. And you ruined it in just under 4 hours.

But even after everything, I still love this show. And I will not stop writing. Eddie Munson you stole my heart and I have no regrets about that.

And I will share this love with every person who reads my work and interacts with my blog who loves him too.

I’ll write Eddie the story he deserves.

Eddie I love you. You freak.

- Willow.