Tumgik
#steve harrington needs a hug
springfaekohaku · 3 months
Text
Warning Shot
It was only supposed to be a warning shot.
Steve Harrington found himself staring face first into the barrel of a gun, held by none other than Nancy Wheeler — his girlfriend.
Said girlfriend was shouting at him, while Jonathan Byers stood at her side with matching bandages on their hands, the boy looking just as shocked as Steve. His voice echoing around them and getting lost in Nancy’s booming voice, a side he never saw from the girl that he fell head over heels with. Steve could only hold his hands up in a surrendering gesture, he was officially freaking out.
It was chaos. Steve didn’t even know what to think, he arrived with the intent to figure out what was going on with the two of them, Tommy and Carols voices taunting him in his head that something was going on. But this? He was being screamed at, demanding he’d leave and get out of the Byers residence, while Christmas lights were flickering on the wall with an alphabet drawn into it; he felt like he was having a fever dream.
Until the walls started to tremble and shake, Nancy’s voice got desperate and in a panic at Steve’s insistence to know what the hell was going on, he just wouldn’t leave. Jonathan’s panic at the escalation and the added pressure of Steve being in the midst of their plan, making everything go astray. Nancy had to do something to get Steve to leave, she felt herself building in pressure and like a rubber band; she snapped.
Just as the roof was being sunken in and the lights bursting, a loud BANG! rung through the living room and it all went silent…
Steve felt like his ears burst and could only hear ringing as he stared at Nancy. It was like things were in slow motion and his brain didn’t catch up to what just happened until he felt a burning sharp pain in his right hand and turned his head to see a hole in the middle of his palm. That’s when it all set in and realised what the fuck just happened.
He hears both Nancy’s and Jonathan’s voices.
“It was only supposed to be a warning shot. I-It, I…I aimed above I swear. I didn’t mean to.”
“What did you just do?! You shot him! You actually shot him, whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck—”
Steve finally felt everything coming back and clear as the ringing subsided, the adrenaline wearing off and he truly feels the agony and pain in his hand. There is a hole in his hand. In the middle of his palm.
There is a fucking hole in his hand.
And Nancy Wheeler, his girlfriend was the cause of it. Pretty sure it was Ex-Girlfriend now.
He hears the two teenagers shouting in panic and stress, while Steve checked out, only feeling blood pooling out from his wound down his arms and off his elbow. So he releases his hands from the air and cradles his injured hand with his other one, it hurt but his mind was somewhere else and everything seemed to collapse on itself. In his mind and currently in the Byers living room. However, he had a rude awakening as he felt Jonathan call out his name like trying not to spook a wild animal that’s been injured. His name was soft and gentle on his lips. Steve could see the desperation and panic in his eyes, like they were running out of time.
And they were. They were given a moment of peace until hell broke loose again. Only this time, the roof does sink in on itself, with a monster phasing through it and Steve was right under it. He could only look up and see what appears to be a claw, almost puncturing through the roof like it was made out of flesh and stretched skin.
Jonathan didn’t waste a second, discarding the initial plan to coax Steve into safety, they ran out of time; so he lunges for Steve. Grabbing his uninjured arm, tugging him and both jumping over the bear trap and to the room with Nancy ahead, opening the door for both boys and her last, locking it and standing guard.
Steve was walked to the bed and Jonathan sat him down. He had to find something to bandage Steve’s wound, which felt fruitless because there was no medical supplies in this room. So he figured the next best thing is a thin layered shirt that he can tear up and use as a makeshift bandage. It seemed like luck was on his side because he found exactly that. It was a disposable shirt too, it wouldn’t be missed, so he got to work. He had to act fast, he could hear the monster finally break through and its heavy body hit the living room floor. He kneels down in front of Steve and sees the other boy holding his injured hand and trembling. He coaches Steve through it and tells him it’s going to be okay, that it’ll hurt but that he’s here. Maybe it was also to get himself together too. He’s not leaving. As scared as he is, Jonathan knew the monster smelt their blood and now Steve’s fresh flesh wound, he didn’t want it to get any worse than it already is.
They had a plan. It’s all gone to shit and haywire.
Now, they just need to figure out how to trap the bastard and keep it from the others. They can still do this, they need to do this.
Jonathan looks at his handy work and deems is satisfactory for now and turns towards Nancy, meeting her eyes, he sees her guarded, her eyes were stormy and face littered in a ripple of emotions. But it seems like she also has the same conclusion, get it together and focus on the plan; no matter if it’s skewed and ruined.
So, she meets Jonathan’s gaze. She doesn’t even have it in her to look at Steve. Her boyfriend. The boy she shot.
They can still execute in the next phase. They just need Steve to be hidden in a secure place, away from danger.
Away from Nancy and her gun. Which was unsaid but it was spoken in her mind.
Nancy nods, standing guard and Jonathan nods in return. Standing up to guide Steve to a wardrobe, taking everything out and placing him in. Jonathan didn’t feel any resistance, he can clearly tell Steve is still in shock and internally dissociating. He notices that far-away look and how pliant he was with being essentially manhandled into the wooden wardrobe. Sitting him down, Jonathan can only offer a few words of reassurance and telling the older boy they’ll be back for him when it’s over. He wasn’t able to wait for a response as Nancy signals Jonathan and Steve feels the sense of safety and warmth leave his space. A feeling he’d never thought associating with Jonathan, it was new but he couldn’t help but feel his lingering touches, gentle yet firm.
He doesn’t even notice the wardrobe doors close and all he knows next is darkness and being left alone with his thoughts. He can’t help but think back to his and Jonathan’s spat, how Steve taunted him and called him names, said awful things about his family and yet…the younger boy grabbed him and took his hand into safety and out of danger without a second thought. He can’t help but also think about how in their fight, or well, Steve’s beat-down, how Jonathan being on top of him sparked a feeling that felt dangerous and unknown, yet familiar. How he straddled his hips and felt his hands on him and like moments ago, instead of his touch hurting, he was gentle and kind. He felt butterflies in his stomach. It made Steve and his entire world go into turmoil and it seems like he’s come to two conclusions tonight:
Monsters are real.
He’s pretty sure he’s having a Queer awakening.
He didn’t have time to dwell more in the closet, haha, because the sound of gunshots, the sound of like a banshee screeching, Nancy’s voice and Jonathan’s grunts could be heard; Steve had to get out.
So he does.
Steve breaks out of his hiding spot and opens the door, he rushes to the scene of commotion and sees Jonathan pinned down by the monster, which looked to be made out of flesh, its mouth opens like a flower with petals that has razor sharp teeth inside — all wanting to bite into Jonathan’s face as the boy tries to fight against it. Nancy fired shots but it seems to not deterrent the monster, not even bothering it and she seemed frozen and unsure what to do next.
Enter Steve who spots the nailed bat, so he leaps over the bear trap again, grabbing the nail bat and as the adrenaline fills his entire being once again; he doesn’t even feel the pain as he grips the bat in a death grip. He gets close enough and shouts at the ugly bastard. He gains its attention and it screeches at him, now smelling the fresh blood from Steve’s hand and detached itself from Jonathan. It stood and towered over Steve but Steve didn’t feel anything but anger, rage, the instinct to protect and keep them safe.
He twirls the bat to get a better grip and positions himself into a stance to fully swing at the monster, using all his strength and power, he hoped playing baseball for a while payed off.
So he swung, the monster staggering and Steve was hitting blow after blow and that’s when Nancy and Jonathan recoup to see Steve backing the hideous creature into the bear trap. It was working.
Holy shit, it was working.
Steve knew it fell into the trap as it screeched in a guttural scream that he hasn’t heard before.
That’s when he hears Jonathan’s voice shouting at him to stand back and he sees the boy throw a lit lighter into the gasoline which Steve didn’t even notice until it was engulfing the floor and racing towards the trap. Eventually engulfing the creature and the three teens watch as the creature screamed, tried to break free of the trap and even tears off its leg to escape.
Nancy was caught off guard at the unexpected movement and backed away and tugged Jonathan back with her. Eyes trained on it as it advances towards them but then Steve, Steve being the reckless idiot he was, uses the last of his strength and takes only a few strides and twists his body, elbows up and shoulders squared; his feet planted and he swings.
The nails pierced the monsters head before the rest of the bat followed, connecting with the head ripping it clean off its shoulders. The screeching stopped at its decapitation and only the sound of fire burning its flesh remain and the flicker of the lights finally stop and the room stopped feeling like it was going through an earthquake. They stare at the monsters corpse and sees it disintegrating under the flames, taking the heat with it and only leaving scorch marks behind.
Everything was still.
It was over.
Or was it?
TBC…
Next chapter —>
700 notes · View notes
kennahjune · 3 months
Text
Teen Dad AU
Part 2!!
Starting the tag list with: @mugloversonly @jackiemonroe5512 @thestarslittleking @jonesen4coffee @virginlemontea @blackpanzy @littlebluejane @paintsplatteredandimperfect @astrid-nomically-steddie @maferisa-7 @phantomrose17 @child-of-cthuhlu @sofadofax @thoughtfulbreadpolice @fandomnerd103 @artemisiscursed @croatoan-like-its-hot @silenzioperso @myownworstenemyyy @feral-possums-in-the-bog @mente-sindescanso @mrslectermoriarty @y4r3luv @a-couchpotato @aknelimdoogladania @she-collects-smut
Thursday came in a false sense of security.
Steve woke up to the gentle sun in his face, the breeze of an open window in his hair, and his son’s chubby baby fingers wrapped around his hand.
Steve grinned sleepily at Louie and laughed when baby Louie smiled so wide back at him that his paci fell out.
Steve held Louie close while preparing a small breakfast of eggs and toast, then continued to hold him while making his bottle and setting out a few cheese puffs for him teethe on.
Steve made sure Louie ate first, helping him hold the bottle and then laughing at the pure mess he makes with the cheese puffs. Then Steve himself ate. Clean up was quick enough witch a wet rag and a speedy wipe-down.
Later on, just as Steve was thinking about preparing lunch, the front doors opened.
“Shit. Shit shit shit SHIT.” Steve angrily whispered to himself. Little Louie stared at him from where he was propped on the couch, not a thought behind his wide eyes. Though he obviously knew something was wrong with his dad.
Steve was quick to buckle Louie into his car seat, bundling him up with a blanket and giving him his bear.
“Stephan? Are you in the living room? Come grab our bags, please,” Cynthia Harrington called from down the hall.
There was no getting out of this. No way of getting Louie to the car without his parents seeing. But he’s sure they already knew of the baby, or suspected something. Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln were nosy motherfuckers set on ruining Steve’s life.
Steve sighed and looked at Louie. He knelt in front of the car seat and rubbed a hand gently on his son’s face. Louie grabbed his finger and smiled around his paci.
Steve wanted to cry.
“Stephan! Your mother called you so answer her!” Richard Harrington yelled. Steve heard the wind outside pick up aggressively and cursed the mornings sunshine.
“Coming!”
Steve padded into the hallway where his parents were taking off their jackets. Cynthia and Richard were picture-perfect— or they would’ve been. If it weren’t for the pressed line of his mother’s mouth and the hard line of his father’s jaw. Steve knew what was coming before they did.
“Stephan, the bags.” Were his mothers first words to him. Not “Hi, son, how have you been?” Not “Sorry we’ve been gone for nearly 8 months.” Not “How are you feelings after that concussion from last November? We’re terribly sorry we couldn’t stop work to simply call and make sure you were ok.”
No. None of that. Instead he was demanded around like a fucking dog.
“Um. Actually, I had to talk to you both. If you don’t mind—“
“Save it. Take the bags upstairs and meet us in the living room,” Richard stated harshly.
Steve flinched. He hated himself for flinching. But they couldn’t go in the living room. Not while Louie was still in there.
“Actually, dad— it’s very important and I just really need to talk to you guys—“
“Stephan!”
Steve winced at the pitchy tone of his mother.
“Please, I promise— It’ll be worth your time, just— just give a minute, please.” He was begging now. He hated begging.
Richard had grown tired of Steve’s fumbling for words and shoved past him. Steve knocked into the wall with the harshness.
“Stephan, you will listen to your mother and take the bags upstairs and meet us—“
“Dad, wait—“
Richard stopped in the doorway to the living room, whatever insult or command he was going to throw Steve’s way dying on his tongue.
“Stephan. Why, in the Lord’s name, is there a baby’s car seat in my living room?”
His tone was calm. Steve knew better than to think he was actually anything other than furious.
“Thats— that’s what I needed to speak to you about. Please, I—“
Steve should’ve anticipated the slap.
But he didn’t. And his head snapped to the side with the force that left him seeing stars.
Steve didn’t stay long enough to listen to his dad yelling slurs or his mom crying. He simply grabbed Louie’s car seat, picked up his shoes by the door, and left.
.
Steve had been driving for near three hours before he pulled over. He’d circled the entirety of town before finally pulling into a small dirt path by the quarry. Belatedly he realized someone was crying.
He hurried to get out of the car, rounding to the back and sliding into the backseat to sit next to Louie’s car seat. But Louie wasn’t crying, he was sound asleep.
Steve realized he was crying.
He startled when a broken sob tore itself out of his throat. He hurried out of the car and dragged himself the few yards to the edge of the quarry.
He sat down and let the rain pelt him from all angles. His face stung. Steve knew the slap would bruise phenomenally in the morning. It’d probably affect his tips at work.
He swung his feet idly on the edge, belatedly realizing he wasn’t wearing his shoes or even socks for that matter. His heels where starting to bleed from each time he rammed them into the rocks on the edge of the cliff.
Steve doesn’t know how long he sat there in the rain. He snapped back to reality when a particularly loud burst of thunder rumbled in his gut. He went back to the car.
Louie was still sound asleep. Steve figured he himself should most likely sleep as well. He didn’t know when he’d be able to get a place for them, but he’d already been saving up.
He curled up in the back seat next to baby Louie. He didn’t bother with a blanket, and he knew he’d get a cold with his clothes still being wet, but he deemed it fine.
Steve’s sleep was fitful and restless. Filled with slurs and yelling and running from monsters that shouldn’t exist.
.
It was a week before he finally got a place.
Not that long, sure. But it was a week of pure dread and exhaustion and nightmares.
The trailer he was looking at was located near the edge of Forest Hills. It was two bedroom one bathroom and had a small living room (with no ceiling light) and a kitchen (that barely had any wiggle room). But it was his.
He’d been at work when he got the call— as that was where he told the landlord to call. Mason— the line cook— called him back.
“Hey Steve-o! That landlord guys on the phone!”
Steve jumped so hard he nearly spilled the waters he was carrying.
“Be right there, Mace!”
Steve was quick to get the waters to the table 7 and take their orders for the night before he rushed back. He tossed his notepad at Mason and snatched the phone.
“Hi, Mr. Gardison!” he greeted cheerily.
“Stephen, hi. So…”
And Steve was given the trailer.
He was vibrating with excitement by the end of his call. When Steve returned the phone to its holder he was picked up from the ground in a bear hug. He laughed and hugged Mason back.
“You got the place!” Mason cheered.
“I got the place!” Steve laughed.
The rest of his day went swimmingly. He would be able to officially move into the trailer on Friday— which was fine by him. Two days of waiting was nothing.
Steve was given congratulations from a few of the regulars. Mr. Jinkins gave him a good slap on the shoulder while Miss. Gladson pulled him into a hug. They tipped him an extra 5 dollars each before they left.
At the end of his Wednesday shift, Steve gave out hugs to most of his coworkers. Mason, Allya, and his boss Michelle got hugs while George and Gwen got high fives. Steve left feeling light on his feet with a to-go bag for dinner.
Thursday was filled with the lunch rush. Steve had to take his break early to check on baby Louie in the back. He felt bad turning George’s manager office into a daycare but George assured him it was fine.
“Hey honey,” Steve’s cooed at the baby in his arms. “How are you doing, huh love? You’ve been cooped up for so long I know.”
Louie gripped his baby hands into the front of Steve’s apron. He was back in the kitchens today, Allya taking his place up front waitressing.
Steve hopped around and lightly bounced Louie against his chest, humming quietly and gently.
Louie whined and continued to cry.
“I know Louie, I know. You hungry? Hang on baby.”
Steve made sure Louie was fed and burped and laid him done for a nap. He only had an hour of his shift left.
Thursday finished off normally and Steve left with his usual dinner. He drove out to the quarry and parked before sitting in the backseat with Louie to eat.
Eventually he took Louie out of the car and sat with him on the rocky ground of the quarry. Steve held Louie close in his lap, letting the baby play with his hands and fingers and babble about nothing and everything.
Steve occasionally answered with little gums of encouragement, but for the most part he let baby Louie talk to himself. He was lost in thought, daydreaming about the trailer and how they got to move in tomorrow.
Before Steve knew it Louie had fallen asleep and he himself was on the verge. He got them both settled in the backseat once more and allowed himself to drift off.
We’re finally, maybe, getting somewhere lol. Tag list is open to everyone still, feel free to ask for a place!! We’ll get into some of Steve’s school life in the next part hopefully 🤞
Part 3:
503 notes · View notes
hotluncheddie · 5 months
Text
high masking autistic steve harrington follow on from this post
ao3
wc: 2.6k | rated: T | cw: description of a meltdown with semi aggressive stimms | tags: autistic steve harrington (and eddie and robin but this is about stevie), hurt/comfort, stobin soulmates, steddie, steve Harrington has shitty parents
.𖥔 ݁ ˖
he failed. he graduated. but he failed. those unsaid words between him and his parents. some get said. the bad ones, about him, they get said. over again like he’s 5 and being told is behaviour isn’t acceptable. that how he is isn’t right. ‘shape up or ship out’, basically. steve knows he can’t go anywhere new, not right now. only freshly recovered, physically at least. mentally; he’s still unacceptable. 
when steve works at scoops. it’s so fucking bright in there. so fucking bright, all day and he can’t focus and talking to people gets so much harder. it’s not like school where he can zone out in class and turn it on during lunch, in between, keep up his face with the people around him and sink back into his head during chemistry. no. now it’s all the time, customer after customer. that he has to talk to, put on a smile for, read so he gives them what they want and they leave happy. it’s exhausting. girls don’t like him anymore, they don’t react to him the same way. he doesn’t think he likes them much either though because they’re so much more annoying when it’s so fucking bright. 
but robin (robin who cycles to work with sunglasses on and doesn’t take them off till she has too) she turns the lights down during open and close. so those couple hours, it’s not so bad. not so stressful. a little bit less loud. 
after the mall burns down steve starts letting her in. tries too. she makes it obvious enough to him that she wants him there. she asks him to stay and calls him at night and he just wants to be enough for her. eventually he’d swallowed his pride and bolstered his courage and called her after a string of nightmares. asking her to stay the night. but then she was there, and it was like everything was thrown off. she was grating on his already freyed nerves but he didn’t know what to say. how to fix it without upsetting her. 
but that night, a mirror of the mall bathroom played out in steves en-suite. steve had freaked. hidden. but she didn’t leave. and he tried to explain. 
he needs her but he doesn’t know how to have her as a true friend. ‘i dunno how to talk to a girl if i don’t wanna date them. i uh, maybe, don’t really know how to talk to someone as myself. as a friend. sorry.’ 
‘well i don’t know how to talk to jocks so. same boat.’ and she has this glint in her eye. like she knows. and it’s okay. 
because robin, she made it simple. she makes it easy. she says just ask and she’ll be honest and give him a yes or no. she’ll say if she can’t be touched right now, or if the movie he chose is pissing her the fuck off. and she wants the same from him. if the music is too loud, if she needs to let him not speak for a while. wants him honest and present and real. real friends. someone close. finally. 
it’s rocky at first. she’s honest and he’s not used to it. it feel like criticism more often than not. makes him see red and lash out, like he was never able to with his parents. but he apologises and she stays. and he’s learning; that’s it’s okay, he’s not perfect and that means she’s knowing the real him. and she’s still his best friend even if he has to tell her to stop picking her nail polish off around him because it makes him want to die. and she laughs at him the first time she sees him in real recovery mode; hair not styled and he has on the only sweatshirt that ever feels good when he’s like this. 
they lay on the floor in darkness and silence. it’s perfect. they share a tin of soup and a grilled cheese. it’s perfect. 
being around robin as much as he is, its so new, having someone see so many parts of you. sometimes she laughs at him asking steve ‘why’d your voice change?’ but steve didn’t even know it had. he was, he was just talking to someone else quick, being nice like you’re supposed to, attentive to make them feel good. he didn’t know his voice changed that much. 
‘girls would like you more if you talked normal to them. how you do to me.’ 
steve swallowed thickly. he just. he just doesn’t know that thats true. nancy left, he talked to her about lots of things, too many things. she like him better at the start. before some of his black tar innards spilled out. before he freaked. before he was able to paste himself back together and she saw him for what he really is. 
he thinks of his parents. how they don’t know him and still don’t like him. anxiety prickles at his fingertips at the thought of those times they do come home. 
because with them there the routine he’s carved for himself, those quiet moments of darkness that he so craves. they’re gone. now it’s tv static and plates clanging and having to show his face at dinner again. but he’s not ten anymore. now he’s an adult whose still drowning in the tension of the room, never able to say what’s really going on, never allowed to ask how they really feel, never taught how to figure his feeling out. no listening ear for steve as a child, and the ice only grew thicker with time. 
it’s his skin itching at his mother stirring her tea across the house, spoon agains porcelain. it’s the hair on the back of his neck standing up at the sound of ice clinking in his fathers scotch glass. it’s triggered memories playing over and over again. it’s being plagued, by ghosts who haunt him, who left but come back every so often, like poltergeists. polietgists with the deed to the house, and ownership over steve, through blood and fear alone. 
‘when they get back you come to mine steve yeah? you come home.’
because now theres not just robin. there’s eddie. 
he sees everything. and more. even when steve’s trying to hide. eddie sees. 
he noticed steve squinting at the hospital and asked the nurse to turn the lights down. he saw how he started zoning out at a diner with the kids, their arguing reaching a pitch, asked steve to keep him company for a smoke break. once they were outside eddie said he just needed a moment, ‘those kids can be animals’. said it and looked a him like he didn’t need an answer, let steve just breathe a focus on the sound of the wind. 
it’s like there’s a million tiny moments, a million tiny cracks in him forming the more he’s around eddie. like his soft underbelly is mewling any time he’s around, wanting attention, wanting to let eddie see. let eddie touch. 
eddie used to look at him sometimes, across the lunch hall. stare at him with an expression steve couldn’t really make sense of. he used to think it was judgment, annoyance. now he wonders if that face was confusion or interest. maybe eddie’s always been trying to figure steve out. 
once it starts. them. eddie’s everywhere. more somehow, maybe, than robin because, you know, they go there. but it’s different, from those time, with those girls. instead now he’s there and his brains off and on in a, like, magical way. a new way that makes him feel whole and, and beautiful. 
this thing they have. it’s fragile. it’s not perfect. he messes up, takes him a moment to grasp how eddie can be so so himself, always, no matter what. especially when it causes him problems. ‘why not just try and fit in?’ but the stone faced reply told steve that was the wrong thing to say, he didn’t get it but he needed to respect it. respect eddie and his choices. ‘i’m not like you steve, even if my brain shit was all gone i’d still be poor, i’d still be othered. still be a gay weirdo little freak.’ 
and steve is trying to get it. he’s learning to recognise that it’s sadness and confusion in eddie’s eyes when he visits him at work, knowing steve is having a bad day and watching him pretend. watching that mask form thick and fast, hiding the real him, protecting but also keeping everyone far far away. steve thinks maybe they’re living parallels. finding different ways to survive. neither better, neither worse. both far from perfect. 
then that pinched sadness in eddie’s eyes. watching steve pretend. cover up. that damn breaks eventually. eddie sees all of him and more. those bits he always kept locked inside. between he and himself. it all comes spilling out. 
they were supposed to be going out soon. but eddie wasn’t feeling it anymore ‘let’s just stay here, be cozy a little longer. what do you say, sweetheart?’ it does sound nice. steves so tired. but they decided. they had a plan. 
‘we said we would. and i have to buy that thing eddie. we had a plan. and i have to go to work later, so we have to do it before. like we said and then i have to work eddie.’ and before he knows it there’s tears prickling his eyes and the ceiling fan is so loud and the desk lamp is too bright and he smacks a fist to the top of his head and it hurts a little but he’s so frustrated and so overwhelmed and so confused and embarrassed, suddenly. and he can’t breath. why can’t he breath? they had a plan. 
they were supposed to go see hopper and pick something up and he has to talk to him and ask about the game because he needs hopper to like him because it’s better when el can come when all the kids hangout. it’s important that she’s happy so hopper needs to trust steve so steve was going to talk to him today and pick something up. it was the plan. hopper makes him nervous but that was the plan. and then he had to go to work. but now he can’t breathe and he feels like he needs something to hurt. 
‘but he already trusts you with el stevie. hop trusts you with anything.’ 
‘i can’t know that. not for sure. when i talk to him it needs to be perfect.’ steve paces. a pinch at his arm. a tug at his hair. pivot. pace. repeat. 
‘i heard what he said to you steve, on your birthday, he was calling you son all day. you don’t need to prove anything to him.’ 
‘i do eddie! you don’t understand. people, they lie. adults lie. they don’t say things the way they mean. i can’t fuck up talking to him. not like i always fuck up talking to my parents. i need to do it better. do it differently. because everyone always leaves. and i just don’t want to be alone again.’ and the tears really start to fall and steve can barely breath and he’s so embarrassed. shaking hands try and cover his face but the tears slip through. 
and all he can think about is the plan. going to work. his vest hanging by the door. the way the plastic tapes feel in his hands. the smell of the bleach they mop the back room with. the day stretches before him. so many things in the way. so much anxiety still to come. if he can’t start, it can’t end. he gnaws at his lip. thumps a hand to his chest, trying to breath right, trying to ground. 
‘i have to go to work’ he mutters. like a prayer. speak it in to happening. taking him away from the now. thump thump thump at his chest. ear ringing. 
eddie’s holding his arms out, giving steve the option. he speaks so calmly, so earnest. ‘you can’t go to work steve. not like this baby.’
steve rounds on him. angry. when did everything get so messed up? if he was just left alone. he should’ve stayed on his own. ‘i cant just call in sick eddie! i’m not sick and and i hate the way they’ll sound when i say it over the phone and knowing what they’ll be thinking about me. they’ll know i hate the job and think i’m lazy and realise how stupid and useless i am and fire me. i can’t afford to get fired eddie. i’d rather just go in.’ he know it comes out garbled, his cheeks on fire. 
‘i’m not letting you go in steve. i’ll sort it. i’ll go pick up robin before and she’ll cover for you, she’ll explain. and she would never. ever think that of you.’ eddie’s voice dropped octave. he speaks clearly and plainly and finally there’s a new plan to follow. a new rule for the day. 
and all steve can do is curl up in a ball and sob. curl up in a ball against eddie chest, in his arms, squeezing his t-shirt between his fingers. clenching his muscles tight, his teeth grinding together. grunting out some of the decade old scream, still stuck there but more visible to him now. 
until finally finally, he relaxes. spent and exhausted. too afraid to open his eyes and face the lamplight, face what could be in eddie’s expression. he drifts..
eventually he gets up, blows his nose and splashed water on his face, turns off all the lights and get back under the warm blanket. fills his lungs. sighs. whispers, ‘m’sorry’ 
‘don’t say that. there’s nothing to apologise for’ eddie’s so close, so warm. 
‘no one’s supposed to ever, see that.. it’s okay if you want to leave’ 
‘steve. why the fuck would i leave you right now?’ 
‘who’d wanna date someone who acts like that? it’s. it’s not good eddie. but, but it’s okay. i’m used to being alo-.’ 
‘please stop stevie. your breaking my heart here. i want to stay, i want to be here with you. i really really like you steve.’ and steve’s cheeks feel wet again. he feels flayed open and young, like a little kid who fell off the swings and everything is different suddenly. 
later later when eddie picks robin up from work she stalks in to where steve’s wrapped up on the couch. curls up into his side and exhales. she bites into his bicep. huffing a sad, annoyed little ‘dingus’ before grabbing his hand and fiddling with his fingers. 
steve feels his eyes prickle again. looking up at the ceiling he croaks out a small ‘sorry.’ for the day. for everything. for anything he can be. and everything he can’t. 
robin kneels on the sofa right next to him. growling a little and placing one of her hands at his sternum and the other at the same height on his back. like she’s forcing herself inside him, holding him together. her hands start to rub up and down quickly, frenzied and grounding for both of them. steve let’s his head hang. eyes closing at the sensation. he grunts. robin grunts back. 
eddie joins. sitting at his other side. slipping a hand in steve’s hair, soothing his scalp with long scratching fingers. and steve humms, sighs, keens. eyes closed he drifts but not away from his body, instead into it. with gratitude, and warmth. at the centre of the two best things that ever happened to him. willing to try again. be just, better. never perfect. 
.𖥔 ݁ ˖
pt 3 snippet
a little happier for u @pearynice <3
ty @spectrum-spectre @vampyreddiemunson @fangirlycupcake @grandwretch for ur tags and additions, it was very inspiring
and tags for lovely @irethsune @willim-billiam-byerson @2jug2head
589 notes · View notes
imfinereallyy · 1 year
Text
Father Figures
pt. 2 here, and full version on ao3 here
The first time James Edward Hopper meets Steve Harrington is when Steve is thirteen years old. It is back when he is still pushing everyone to call him Chief Hopper, or at the very least James to sound more professional. It is mostly a lost cause, as he has just returned to Hawkins after his daughter Sarah's death and most people can't help but call him Jim and Hop in familiarity, in sympathy.
It didn't mean they didn't take him any less seriously though. In fact, his cold, grieving demeanor gave him quite the reputation around town. Made assholes like Lenny Byers and troublemakers like the little twerp Munson turn in the other direction when they see him. So Jim doesn't try to push the professional name too much. He knows people around here respect him.
They respect him enough to follow his word, they respect him enough to turn a blind eye when he takes an extra pill or two.
Jim doesn't think too deeply about his reputation until he meets Steve Harrington for the first time.
He gets a call from Benny. It's directly to his line at the station, instead of a general 911 call. He doesn't think much of it when he answers, most likely it was a non emergency from an old friend from high school. That's the only reason people call him most days.
"Chief Hopper. Make it quick."
"Jimmy." A deep, worried breath comes from the phone.
Jim immediately straightens. "Benny, what's wrong?"
Benny usually only calls for a laugh, or to invite him out for a drink. The guy doesn't care about too much, or ask too many questions. Hearing concern in his voice was alarming, to say the least. "Listen, Hop, there is a kid here. And normally I don't care, cause business is business, but it's two in the morning, Jimmy. And despite the kid wearing the most expensive pair of sneakers I have ever seen, he only has two dollars on him for a meal. He got all skittish when the plate landed too loudly. And I don't know..." Benny takes a deep breath before he continues. "...I just don't want to be at fault if this kid's trouble and some fancy parents come looking for him."
Jim can tell Benny wants to say something else, he doesn't push though. Jim Hopper tries to never ask too many questions.
"Alright Ben, I'll be there in ten."
———
When Jim arrives at the diner, Benny notices him and nods in the direction of the corner booth. And there, sitting with his head low and scarfing down a plate of fries is Steve Harrington.
Jim has never met the kid personally, but he knows his parents. Cold, calculating, and pretty much owns half of Hawkins. Jim is starting to understand why Benny has called him.
Jim slides into the booth across from the young boy. He's prepared to take the kid by the back of his shirt and drag him out of there. He doesn't need these kids to be causing hard-working people any trouble. But when Jim makes a thump in the booth, the Harrington kid's face snaps up in fear, and Jim's plan for an angry monologue just drops.
Because there, on Steve Harrington's jaw, is a bruise the size of Indiana itself. Jim's face remains gruff, but his body language softens. "Hey, kid. What are you doing here so late?"
Steve's posture remains stiff and small. "Sorry sir, I was just hungry and it was the only place open. I wasn't—I wasn't trying to cause trouble."
It's then, for the first time, Jim thinks that his reputation isn't one of respect. Instead, his reputation might something worse. Fear.
"Didn't think you were. Just wondering what a rich kid like you, is doing on this side of town, at this time of night." Jim doesn't say it like a question, just fact. He tries not to take it too personally when Harrington turns his bruised side in on himself.
"Would have uh—gotten something from home but we—I didn't have any food left. And by the time I was able to eat, everything else was closed."
"Able to eat—kid what are you rambling about. Let me call your parents to pick you up." Jim makes his way to stand but Steve grabs his wrist to pull him back.
"No! I mean—" he clears his throat "—not necessary sir. My parents left for a work trip tonight. I uh—don't have a number for you to call them anyway. They call me instead, they never have a solid line to contact. Nothing bad happens in Hawkins anyway, so it isn't something to worry about." The last line sounds practiced, like it is something repeated to Steve religiously enough it's become his own mantra.
Jim is starting to put it together. The waiting all day to eat. The bruise on his jaw. The lack of money for food. God, the kid probably walked six miles to get here.
Jim isn't stupid, he can connect the dots. But Jim also knows when not to push things. When not to rock the boat. When sometimes, even if it pains him, helping someone would be a lost cause. He thinks of Sarah briefly.
It's even worse when that lost cause is just a kid.
Jim decides maybe the best thing he can do for Steve at that moment is to ignore the obvious problem and offer him a bit of kindness. "Well, I can't have ya here this late. Could look bad for Benny. And we don't want to get Benny in trouble do we?"
Steve shakes his head immediately. "No Sir."
"Didn't think so. Why don't I drive you to the station? Don't worry I'm not arresting you. But we got a nice cot there, and you can get some rest. Then I'll drive you back in the morning when I clock out. Cause I'm still on duty and all. Can't be driving you back Loch Nora quite yet." Jim doesn't mention how he can see bags under Steve's eyes. He doesn't mention how it would be quicker to his house than to the station either. Jim maybe, just a little bit, wants to keep an eye on him. Even if it's only for a short time.
"It's okay I can walk—" Jim levels Steve with a look "—actually that sounds great. Thank you, Sir."
Jim nods with finality and starts to stand. "Oh and kid? Enough with that sir crap. I ain't Mr. Harrington." He almost says I'm not your dad. But that felt wrong somehow, giving Harrington senior that title.
"Okay, sir—I mean Hopper. Okay, Hopper."
---
As the years go by, James Edward Hopper keeps an eye out for Steven James Harrington (Yes he looks at his file for his full name. Yes, it makes him feel some sort of way he has his name as his middle name and not his father's. Richard would make a horrible middle name anyway). At first, it's drive-bys to see if anyone's home. Giving the kid a ride if he sees him walking. Swinging by a basketball game or two, to see how he's playing.
Then it turns into busting his ragers. Hauling him in for the night not to arrest him but to sober the kid up. Pulling him over for driving while intoxicated with that dumb Hagan boy.
Jim wants to be mad, he does. He even yells at Steve sometimes. But he can't find in him to be mean to him, not really. Not when he's pretty sure the only thing Steve has consumed in days is alcohol. Not when even though he has gotten much bigger, and the bruises are less visible, Steve never ceases to flinch when Jim grabs him.
So mostly, Jim either just drives him home or brings him in, giving him a sandwich and bed for the night.
Around when Steve is sixteen though, things get worse for Jim. He becomes more frustrated, with Steve, with his job, and with this town. He takes more pills. He neglects his job. He forgets Steve.
Then the Upside Down happens for the first time. Jim tries to better himself for Joyce and the kids. He mainly though does it for El. His second chance, his new reason for trying, his daughter.
Jim knows it's okay to get a little lost in taking care of her. That it's a good thing, and she deserves his full attention.
He does feel a bit of guilt though, after round two of the Upside Down. When Steve Harrington sits in Joyce Byer's living room, looking like he went ten rounds with a semi.
The kids are all over him (including Mike which shocks the hell out of him). Dustin is trying to stop the bleeding on his face, Lucas is holding ice against his head and even El, who Steve met for all of five minutes, is sitting beside him on the couch, holding his shoulder up. There is a look in El's eyes as she stares up at Steve. Like she can see through him, like she knows him. Like she understands him.
Jim feels his heart break a little.
He approaches Steve in a crouched position. "Hey kid, I think we better take you to a hospital. You look like shit." He is sure there is a better way to say it, but Jim Hopper is a blunt man and that was never going to change.
The redhead, Max, snorts. "That's honestly the nicest way to put it."
Steve glares, Jim can't decide if it's at him or the kids. "No. I'm okay."
Dustin shouts, "Steve you are most definitely not okay. Hop's right you look like shit—"
"Language."
Dustin ignores Steve, "—and that's just externally. Who knows what's going on internally."
"C'mon kid, I can drive ya." Jim moves to help him stand.
Steve bursts with anger and pushes Jim away. "I said no. And you're not my dad."
Jim's jaw tightens and he resists the urge to scream back: and thank god for that.
El speaks before he can yell back. "You're hurt." It's soft, it's demanding and it's so very El. Jim watches Steve crumble back into the couch.
His voice is rougher than before, but much more gentle, "No hospitals."
"Okay. At least let Joyce look at ya. She used to be a nurse." Jim puts a hand on his shoulder, careful not to jostle him.
"Okay, Hopper. Okay, Hop."
———
After that, for a little while, Jim tries to look out for Steve again. It's harder this time though. He's more independent and harder to catch sight of. When he does see him, one of the gremlins is around him, and he can't check-in. And Hop has El, and he can't neglect her in favor of Steve. He tries to balance it out, but in the end, Steve isn't his kid.
Jim finds a small loophole though, which is El herself.
He worries about her every she since she ran away and he didn't even notice. And he knows Steve, like him, has a soft spot for the kids. So under the guise of babysitting, Jim gets Steve in his cabin once a week. So someone other than Joyce or Jonathan (or horribly, mike) is spending time with her. Sure, he's not there to keep an eye out for Steve himself, but it's the closest he's going to get.
Besides, biological daughter or not, El is just like Jim. She has a habit of collecting strays. If it's not going to be him looking out for Steve, he can't think of anyone better for the job than his little girl.
———
After Starcourt, somewhere in a Russian prison, Jim thinks of Steve.
Every day, Jim thinks of El. Misses her. Longs to hear her laugh even longs to hear her yell back at him. Every day, Jim thinks of his daughter and mourns what could have been. But Jim knows she's being taken care of. Knows Joyce and the boys will love her, and take care of her. Make sure she knows nothing else but kindness.
He worries though, between those moments, about how there is no one there for Steve.
———
Months later, in Hawkins Memorial, Jim Hopper finds Steve Harrington in a hospital chair next to Eddie Munson's comatose body.
Jim has a lot of questions but doesn't get any of them out because suddenly Steve Harrington is right in front of him, sucking in a harsh "Hop," and then collapsing in Jim’s arms.
Jim holds him close, says nothing, and cries silently with him.
———
During the summer that follows, James Edward Hopper notices a change within Steven James Harrington. Despite the obvious PTSD the boy suffers, and the scars that litter his body, Steve is visibly happier than Jim has ever seen him. He laughs more, he openly cries more, and he loves more.
Steve's now living with Robin in a tiny two-bedroom downtown. He comes to family dinner with the entire party every Sunday. He shares a cup of tea (no more beer for either of them) and a cigarette every Thursday evening on the Byers-Hoppers front porch.
Most noticeably, the biggest difference Jim sees in Steve is Eddie Munson.
Jim once again isn't stupid. And despite being an ex-cop isn't a bigot (he couldn't find himself back at the force, the corruption is too much for him. And he himself, was never very good at his job). So he can easily come to the conclusion that Steve has a massive crush on Eddie Munson.
Dear. God.
It's not that he has a problem with Eddie being a boy, but it's the fact that out of all people he can choose from, Steve had to go and fall for the twerp who used to trip over his laces when running away from Jim for the third time.
Jim feels, after all the years of neglect that Steve faced, he could do so much better.
Steve is happy though for once, and Jim doesn't say anything at first. But it becomes so painful to watch. The lingering touches. The longing gazes. The nicknames (sweetheart, honey, dear god did he just say big boy—).
Nothing ever comes of it though, it's August and neither of them has done anything but pine. And Jim seems to be the only one who notices.
At first, he thinks it's cause everyone is being kind, and giving them room to explore themselves. But with everyone making jokes about Robin and Steve (from the kids) or Steve and Nancy (from Eddie), it seems like no one notices the excruciating flirting between the two.
(Except for maybe Robin, but Jim isn't quite sure Steve and she aren't one organism. He doesn't count her)
Still, Jim ignores it though. He has learned his listen from Mike and El. Getting involved makes everything worse.
That is until, the second week in August right before family dinner, when he finds Steve and Eddie early, sitting on the couch, with Eddie dabbing the blood off of Steve's face.
"What happened?" Jim is over on Steve's other side in an instant.
"Nothing Hop, it's stupid." Steve tries to shrug off, and he looks towards Eddie briefly.
Jim's vision, for a brief brief moment, is filled with unclear rage. It's enough to consume him and makes him impulsive. Jim can't help but think he got it wrong. Maybe the two are together, and Steve had fallen into a bad relationship. He knew that Eddie was trouble, but he didn't think about it being that kind.
And though he is being irrational, and being for once a little stupid, no one can really blame him when he hauls Eddie up by the collar and into his line of vision.
"Munson, did you put your goddamn hands on my kid?"
Jim can hear Joyce, El, and Will (the only other people in the house) all run out into the living room at the sheer volume of Jim's voice.
Steve sits frozen, Joyce and El yell at him to "put him down, oh my god."
And Munson? He starts to ramble.
"No. No! I would never, ever hurt anyone. Haven't we learned this by now? I can barely kill a spider. I have to put them in a cup and put them outside." Eddie chuckles nervously, waving his hands around frantically.
Jim's grip tightens and pulls him closer. He's pretty sure his vibrating at this point.
Suddenly though, Eddie becomes deathly serious. As if he just realizes what Hopper has said.
"Hop, I would lay down my life before I ever hurt Steve. There is no one in this world that deserves kindness more than him. And if I ever do hurt him, whether it be emotionally or physically, I give you full permission to beat me up. Hell, I'll probably throw myself at your fist."
Jim doesn't let go but stays silent as he listens.
"You see, Steve here decided to pull a you when some jerks wouldn't leave me alone at Family Video today. They were throwing around a bunch of slurs. Nothing I haven't heard before. And even though I could handle myself—“ Eddie gives Steve a look “Steve here always has to be the hero and decided to defend my honor. And of course, it just had to turn physical. And Steve decided to take on three guys on his own. Got to say though, he held his own. It was kinda hot honestly—"
Jim hears Steve choke a little beside them, startling him out of his frozen state.
"—And he only got a cut on his forehead from one of the dickwads class rings. I'm a little worried he has another concussion though. Believe me, Hop when I say, I am just as pissed at those guys as you."
At the end of his speech, Eddie calms down and even holds eye contact with Jim. He still doesn't let go of the twerp, despite being considerably less angry. Well, at least at Eddie.
It's Steve though that finally gets him to let go. "Dad, please put Eddie down."
Steve says it like it's nothing. Steve says it likes its the easiest thing in the world. But to Jim, to Jim it's the best thing he's gotten since El.
Instantaneously, Jim drops Eddie back on the ground and scoops Steve into a bone-crushing hug. "You got to stop scaring me like this kid. Can't lose you again."
Steve's almost his height now, so he tucks Steve's head into his shoulder and lays his head on top of his hair. He hears a muffled, wet "I'm sorry" against him.
Jim chokes back tears as he says, "No, no you got nothing to apologize for. Just be more careful. Okay?"
Steve releases himself from his hold and looks at him. "Okay, Hop. Okay, Dad."
Jim ruffles his hair without jostling his head too much. He thinks he would do anything for his kids. Including pushing along this nightmare of a pining contest.
"And if you like him I like him too."
"Huh?" Steve says confused.
"Eddie here. If you like him, then he's okay by me."
Steve goes to stop Jim, but he's already one step ahead. "But if he hurts you even in the slightest, you're watching me dig the grave I'm going to bury him in. Understand?"
Steve blushes from head to toe and nods frantically, knowing if he protests it will only make the conversation longer. The room is silent until Eddie speaks.
"Don't worry Hop, I'll dig the grave for you." Eddie's voice, despite the threat, is filled with delight, wonder, and hope.
My work here is done Jim thinks as he gives the boys one last nod and leaves the room.
And if later, if Jim sees Steve and Eddie holding hands at the dinner table he doesn't comment on it. And if he sees Eddie give Steve's knuckles a light kiss, and whisper something that almost looks like "I love you", he only smiles at the two boys. Because if one more person loves his boy, it's a win for him.
Because James Edward Hopper, thinks his son Steve deserves that and so much more.
———
okay I spent waaaay too much time on this (as per usual) but I wanted to dive in a little more on Steve and Hoppers relationship (and how it impacts Steve and Eddie). I feel like a lot of fics makes them distant friends (which is canonically correct I guess) or surrogate family with no explanation. And I like the idea of them slowing building a father son relationship. Really leaning into you choose your family. I know people have mixed feelings about Steve calling him Dad (honestly sometimes I too think it’s cringey) but sometimes I love it and that boy deserves a good father figure. Even though steddie doesn’t come in until the end, I think it all really blends together nicely. Also in my head either the boys are both out to each other, is at least it’s heavily implied or is a known safe space they are in. We do not support outing people in the house. It’s probably a one-shot, but maybe I’ll add more snippets later on. For now it felt like a good place to stop.
As always I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I just zoned out for like two hours as I wrote it. It kinda made me emotional I’m not going to lie.
part 2 here and the full version on ao3 here
2K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
petition for steve harrington to be in intensive therapy for s5 <3
3K notes · View notes
nburkhardt · 6 months
Text
✨ Thoughts while listening to Taylor Swift ✨
Steve trying his absolute hardest not to fall for Eddie. Because he knows Eddie’s destiny. Knows that he’s meant for big things, that he’s going places and will be successful in the future.
That Eddie’s meant for more than him.
So, Steve tries his best to keep his heart from falling.
When the last of Eddie’s friends graduate and all of them are packed up, ready to get the hell out of Hawkins, Steve’s there to wish them a goodbye and to take the world by storm.
He’s hugging Eddie tight, feeling his eyes burn from holding back the tears. Trying to enjoy the closeness and warmth, trying to keep the sob back that’s wanting to break free.
“Stevie…”
Shaking his head, he squeezes Eddie and pull away, “don’t, Eds.” He can’t look Eddie in the eye longer than a second, he smiles tight with a few tears finally falling, “take the world on, Rockstar. I’ll be watching, promise”
Eddie wipes his eyes, smiles and opens his mouth a few times before giving up and taking a step closer to him to press a kiss to his cheek before turning around and meeting back up with of his friends. The van is filled with all their things, soon it’s filled with Eddie’s friends and Eddie himself.
Waving, Steve keeps up the smile and it’s only once the van isn’t in his vision that it fully hits him.
That he failed.
~~~~
Oh, hello 👋
Was listening to “Come Back Be Here” and well, this little thing appeared in my head couldn’t help myself and i remembered I haven’t gotten my loves back for all the angst they’ve put me through. 🥰
Enjoy @i-less-than-three-you and @strangersteddierthings love youuuuuu
Permanent tag list under the cut.
@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @grimmfitzz @estrellami-1 @cartercaptainofthemoon
446 notes · View notes
thegoblinboy · 10 months
Text
Never Say Die [2]
| Part one | you are here | part 3 | part 4
Everyone seemed to want a part two… so here’s another part! (Also name title comes from a Black Sabbath song lol)
Steve took a few steps in the house. His hands shook as he barely could see through the shirt that was over his face. Concealing his identity from the neighbors. He knows that Hopper and Joyce’s intentions were positive, but his mind was playing tricks on him. For a split second he was back in Russia, blind fold over his eyes as he’s being dragged from a van. Still in his sailer suit. Blood all over his face, the ashes of star-court still lingering on him. Not even given the chance to wash them off on the flight here.
Though When the blindfold is pulled off he’s in the doorway of a very nice home, not in the middle of a Russian cell. He can feel his body shaking a bit from the memory. Before he takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes. All of this seemed a little to easy. What if he was making it all up in his head? What if he was currently in a cell right now losing his mind. He wouldn’t put it past himself. He has had dreams so real about returning home before, to only wake up and get the shit beat out of him.
Hoppers quick to stand in front of him. Protecting him. Steve’s eyes snap open quickly, tears slowly forming in his eyes when he realizes what the older man is doing. It’s been a while since someone’s protected him, and not the other way around. Sure, once upon a time in the prison someone did protect him. But that barely lasted a couple of days before the guy disappeared in the middle of the night. Now Steve knew he fought a demogorgan and lost.
“Mom, what’s going on?” It’s Will’s turn to voice his concern. Steve can’t see him through Hoppers back but he knows how his face is pinched up. Joyce, who was currently standing next to Steve smiles shakily. Tears in her eyes, light footsteps moving fast across the wooden floor start to come in their direction.
“Will, everything’s fine. It’s just.. a surprise guest dropped in. A good surprise. “ Joyce explains putting her hand up. Gesturing for the other to stop. Which is what immediately happens. “Why don’t you go back and tell everyone to go gather in the living room. Let them know we’ll be out in a second.” Joyce instructs. Moving forward out of Steve’s sight. Who can already picture her smoothing the boys hair, wrapping her arms around Will in a comforting manner. Something he’s seen thousands of times and has always envied.
“And tell them, if any of them even think about stepping out of that living room I’ll make sure no one’s allowed to play that Dogs and Donuts game.” Hoppers voice is stern. Steve was standing behind him and it was bringing the fear of god into him. Though he has to hold back laughter because he knows the guy was purposely getting the name wrong.
A few footsteps and seconds past and he can hear Will in the living room. Voices starting to echo through the walls as both of the adults. Who were very concerned, pull Steve into the kitchen. Joyce is already pulling food out for him. Setting a plate on the table within seconds. He hesitates, before he’s moving and awkwardly sitting down. Eyes skimming the room. A habit of his that he’s picked up. Within seconds he already knows where he can exit quickly if it was needed.
“How are you alive?” Hopper asks first, getting straight to the point. Moving and leaning on the table as he looks at Steve with that serious expression again. The same one he held in interrogation rooms.
Steve chuckles shakily, “Russian Prison.” He answers simply before he’s wolfing down his food. He’s sure he was going to throw it up in a little bit anyway. It’s been a long time since he’s had home cooked food. His stomach was already shifting uncomfortably from how much he was eating. “I didn’t die during the explosion thingy, I hopped down and well. Here I am. Woke up in a van in the middle of Russia later on and found my way back home. In quick summary.” Steve explains quickly. Body tense at even the mention of the prison. Thankful for the fact Hopper knew when to back down from something like this. Eyes filled with concern.
“How do you want to do this?” He asks changing the subject.
“We can pull them one at a time in here and have them see you?” Joyce tosses the idea out there.
“No. Just want to rip it off like a bandaid. Get it all done and over with. I cant-” Steve says shakily. Dropping the fork on the plate as he stares down at the table. “I can’t choose who I want to see first. I want to see them all at once or none at all.” He admits. Moving his eyes up to challenge Hopper. Unsure whether or not they were going to allow him to see them. There shouldn’t be doubt in his mind, but there was just a smidge. Hard to trust anyone anymore. He barely knew the two adults in front of him. Only a few awkward conversations in the past.
“Alright… you ready?” Hopper asks. Moving to stand properly. Not even bothering to battle whatever imaginary war that was in Steve’s head. Steve was not ready, he never would be. He moves standing up. Left arm holding his side as he nods his head. Moving to follow the other. Hearing the hushed panicked voices in the living room. A couple curse words following along with them.
Before Steve can get a step in Joyce is stopping him. “Hold on, let me give them a warning.” She smiles softly before turning and moving into the living room. That was still mostly bare from the move in. Steve shakily crosses his arms over his chest as he tries to focus on breathing. He didn’t want to freak out to much while everyone was. He had to be the emotional rock. He looks down at the floor, not wanting to look up at Hopper. Faintly listening to Joyce begin to ramble right behind him.
“So… this wasn’t planned at all. It’s news to me.” She sounded like she was crying already. “But- this person. You aren’t expecting him and I know some of you are going to be excited to see him but he has some injuries. So maybe try not to jump him or overwhelm him.” Joyce warns. Everyone’s already starting to ask questions all at once. “I’m serious guys. He came from god knows where, doing god knows what.” She says finally hushing the crowd down.
Steve finally gets his signal from Hopper. His hands were shaking as he moves. Carefully limping a bit to the doorway. One hand on his side as he leans on it. Eyes landing on everyone in the room. Searching for Dustin and Robin. “Where’s Henderson?” Is his first question. Eyes squinting trying to see, his vision wasn’t nearly as good as what it used to be. Along with the fact he could barely hear out of his right ear. But thanks to the amazing government he was able to get a hearing aid fitted.
He knew that everyone was going to be shocked, but the way everyone’s faces go white makes a shiver go up his spine. All color leaving the room with the acceptation of Eddie and the boy with long silky hair. Both who didn’t know him. Steve’s looking around the group, to many faces and reactions overwhelming him before he sees Dustin throwing himself at him. Moving away from Eddie, who was stunned by how fast the kid could move.
Before he could tackle Steve, Hoppers catching him as says something. Dustin’s already in tears as he moves more carefully as he still hugs him. Steve’s hands shakily wrapping themselves around him, only taking a second before he’s tightly hugging the boy. Squeezing his eyes shut as he feels like one of the numerous missing pieces was just placed in his heart. He didn’t realize how much he missed the little shit until now.
“I watched you die.” Dustin sobs, body shaking in Steve’s arms. Steve feels like a leaf, he’s close to falling from the effort to keep them both up. He’s in tears himself, when he catches the green of his letterman jacket walking in from the other side of the room. Coming from the bathroom most likely.
“What’s happening?” Robins voice is loud and clear as she looks at everyone. Not given a chance to process Steve standing in the walkway.
“Didn’t figure you to be a basketball jock there buck.” Steve laughs softly. Watching as it all hits her as well. And she’s already sprinting, squirming out of Hoppers reach as she nearly tackles Steve and Dustin.
“Ow ow ow, I think you guys just turned my lungs to dust.” He gasps in pain. Both of them stepping back from him as he nearly falls. Holding his side, as he try’s to steady his breathing.
“Here let’s get you sitting.”
Steve nods his head as he moves to Joyce, who’s concern was only peaking. Leaning on her a bit as she helps him to the empty spot on the couch. Which was right next to Eddie. He’s coughing a little, lungs burning from the pain in his side. A shaky inhale of air as he looks at the other curiously. Before his eyes move to land over on the boy with silky hair who was watching him confused.
“Hey.” He chuckles awkwardly lifting his hand up as the boy smiles waving back at him.
“This- this is Argyle.” Jonathan pops in. Looking anxious at the sight of him. Nancy looked like she was a goldfish.
“Hey wheeler.” Steve chuckles, not caring about her what’s so ever. Who he cared about the most were both standing in front of him now. Nearly hyperventilating. He opens his arms out a bit, “come on you dorks. Be careful of the stitches though. I am not redoing them again.” He laughs as they both move carefully. Robin in his lap curling in on his chest. He moves getting comfortable, the exhaustion getting the best of him as he offers a arm for Dustin who was also seeking some comfort. His eyes and nose were burning from the effort of holding back tears.
“No offense but you look like shit, and I can barely see.” Max tosses in. Standing up now to get a better look at him.
Steve snorts, “I can barely see or hear and you sound and look like shit kid.” He says amused. Earning a snort. “What happened to you?” He asks curiously.
“Vecna.”
He freezes. Everybody was looking at him as he glances around, “wait the big cone head looking dude with the ET fingers?” Steve asks. He hadn’t realized that he had made it to Hawkins within the time he was away. He’s gotten hints, even seen him once. Drawings of what he looked like up on the Russian walls. From his understanding he created a portal, to trade demogorgans for the life of the prisoners. Which was apparently how he got so strong to be able to finally reach his way to Hawkins and use his powers without needing the person physically in the upside down.
“You know who Vecna is?” Eddie asks, speaking for the first time. His voice is wavering a bit as he does.
“Well that’s not what me and the prisoners called him. But yeah. We were wondering why he stopped… well snapping our bones like twigs for.” He admits.
“Prisoners?” Is the question everybody all say at once. He winces as he tries to stay relaxed. He was starting to get overwhelmed. As much as it was a relief to see all of them it was getting a little to much.
“Yeah, Russians don’t take to kindly to someone ruining one of their bases.” He chuckles dryly. “Can we- um change the subject.” He winces as he moves a hand up to his head. Feeling a migraine forming. His head hasn’t been the same since he was near that radiation shit in the mall. He blinks as he feels a random nose bleed starting to hit him. Feeling dizzy Robin and Dustin hop off from him when he starts to shake more while underneath them. El moving and offering him a tissue with a knowing look. His hands shakily take the paper, confused as to why she would be looking at him like that. It was just a random nose bleed, he wouldn’t be shocked if he got radiation poison or something.
He moves back into the couch after a second of wiping his nose, completely worn out. Blinking at the effort it was taking him just to stay here mentally. His eyes meet Joyce’s who was already getting Hopper on it. “You look exhausted hon, why don’t you go get some rest in our room.” She smiles as he nods. Moving, his legs begin to shake as he holds the bloody tissue to his nose. Walking the way Hopper wanted him to.
Unaware but fully aware at the same time of the amount of eyes that were on him.
So… I only had a few scenes that I really wanted to write for this. This was one of them. The next part I also really wanted, and I don’t know how I’m separating each part. I’m used to writing 10k word chapters so this is kind of like fresh air lmao. So I’m just writing to relief some stress as I graduate in less then a week 🥳 I just didn’t expect so many people to also want to read this.
Though, I would like to say if you like the idea of Steve disappearing and coming back out of nowhere I do have another fic called Bark at the moon! (Sorry self plug) it’s on a pined post on my account and the link leads you to ao3! (It’s werewolf steve fic and he does disapear😉) ok self plug over. Thank you guys for showing so much interest! It means the world to me!
Tag list; I tagged everyone who seemed interested! Let me know If you want to be added :)
@totallynotagoraphobic @flustratedcas @shunna @spookednsaucy @steddie-as-they-go @estrellami-1 @xxbottlecapx @gregre369 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thing-a-ling @radioactiveartz @bestwifehaver @idkwwhatimmdoiing @goodolefashionedloverboi @bringmethelow @thescribblerdragon @starman-jpg @lilaclilyroses @resident-gay-bitch @wolfscreations @adhdsummer @victor-thee-corvid @happymediummm @decadentworld @sidebarre @foundintheshallows @jamieweasley13 @yellowdevilkitten @catlovesfandoms @gryffindorsareidiots @thephantomhood
498 notes · View notes
marvel-ous-m · 11 months
Text
Eddie Munson’s Guide for How to Adopt a Jock in Four Easy Steps (3/5)
Part One
Part Two
Part Four
AO3 Link
A.N.- shorter chapter today, but the next two chapters make up more than half of the rest of my google doc! So I promise that it’s worth it, lol. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Eddie, I’m going to need you to repeat what you just told me, because I know for a fact that I didn’t hear you correctly. I couldn’t have.” Grant crossed his arms angrily, leveling Eddie with his best intimidating glare. 
“I know it sounds crazy, but I need you to trust me on this. Steve is… fuck man, he’s not in a good place, okay? So yeah, he’s sleeping in the Hellfire room right now. Before you come for my throat, I need you to think about this.” Eddie held out his hands, counting on his fingers as he went through his reasoning. “His parents haven’t been home in three months. Hagan abandoned him last year, Nancy broke up with him then hooked up with Jonathan Byers, Billy beat the shit out of him this weekend, he isn’t sleeping, he has no one. He’s an outcast, just like the rest of us.” 
“So this is the perfect opportunity to get back at him.” Gareth muttered under his breath, crossing his arms. 
Eddie turned to the youngest member of their party, raising an eyebrow. “I know that his type like to pick on you Freshmen, but that’s not how we do things here, Gar-bear.” Eddie sighed then, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s easy to get back at people in times like this, but that would make us no better than them.” Eddie turned back to the entire group then, shaking his head at the three of them. “You guys didn’t see him. It was bad… I mean, if I’m being honest, it was a little scary.”
“So what are you proposing?” Jeff finally spoke, looking up from where he was previously staring at the linoleum floor of the hallway outside the drama room.
“Just let him sit next to me and watch the game today. Be civil. Don’t tease him, don’t make snide comments- just don’t be assholes. If things go well after today we’ll talk about bringing him in permanently.”
“Permanently?!” 
“Eddie, I mean this when I say it, you are certifiably insane.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 
“Shut up!” Eddie shrieked and held his hands up, effectively quieting the uproar from his group of misfits. “Just- look, if you fuck this up I’ll TPK this whole campaign- which, honestly, is probably more of a punishment for me because I’ve been working on this campaign for about a month, but I digress. Give. The guy. A chance.” 
Grant, Gareth, and Jeff looked at one another. They always seemed to be able to have a conversation without speaking (and that conversation usually was centered around some shit Eddie was pulling). Finally, Jeff nodded at Eddie. “Alright, we’ll give him a chance. BUT only on the condition that each of our characters starts with a rare magic item.”
Eddie huffed out a quiet laugh, nodding at the three boys. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll add them to your character sheets before we start.”
Jeff blinked in surprise and looked at both Gareth and Grant, then back at Eddie. “Even though the magic items may not make sense with your campaign?” 
“You’re the ones asking for ‘em.” Eddie shrugged, then pulled the lanyard out of his pocket. “Okay, just gimme like, ten minutes, then you can come in.” As Eddie walked away, he could’ve sworn he heard the boys whispering about a giant crush and him being head over heels. Eddie scoffed to himself. He could never fall for Steve- what with Steve’s stupid big eyes and his floppy hair and his dorky polos. Eddie unlocked the door, rolling his eyes as he did. Him falling for Steve. As if. 
Steve sat up from his space in the corner when the door opened, instantly relaxing when he saw who it was. The jock rubbed at his eyes, humming sleepily. “Hey Eds. S’it time for Hellfire ‘lready?” 
Steve’s hair was a mess, his polo was sideways, his eyes were tired and a blanket was hunched around his shoulders. He was… actually kind of adorable. Eddie smiled at him and could’ve sworn he felt a flutter in his chest. 
Oh no.
Oh no no no.  
He had a crush on Steve Harrington. 
...Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.N.: this tag list has grown so much! I’m sorry if I forgot to add you if you requested it or if you didn’t end up on here, there were some accounts that were giving me trouble. Thanks again for all the support!
@ellietheasexylibrarian @cuips-not-cute @melodymeddler @i-have-three-feelings @sc00ps-ahoy @singmeyoursimpsong @patchworkgargoyle @spectrum-spectre @devondespresso @thesuninyaface @obsessivlyme @angeldreamsoffanfic @carlyv @nburkhardt @inspirationorinsanity @rebelspykatie @my2amgaythoughts @lavenderagenda @just-a-tiny-void @mamafaithful @breadboi66 @beholdingloser @randomfandomcontent @oftirnanog @yellowdevilkitten @steves-strapcollection @keep-er-steddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bisexualdisastersworld @jinxjinn @copingmechanizm @blackpanzy @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @evix-syne666 @crisisinverted17 @satan-is-obsessed @shrimply-a-menace @anaibis @trashcanniballecter  @thoughtfulbreadpolice @awholedamnmesstbh @chaoticvictorianspirit @jcmadgirl 
632 notes · View notes
fandomcentralsposts · 4 months
Text
Steve hasn't celebrated Christmas properly for many years because his parents are never home, and if they do show, it'll be a few days before, and they don't usually stay for new years. Because of this, Steve no longer has the urge to put up decorations. He doesn't bother with Christmas dinners or ugly sweaters or any usual traditions. But deep down, he loves Christmas. The lights, the trees, music, and snow are something a part of him still looks forward to every year he just knows he'll probably be spending it alone. Until he dates Nancy and the Wheelers, let him join them for Christmas and the years after Dustin and his mother would welcome him, although at times he felt like he was imposing he felt grateful he also made sure he bought presents for everyone all the kids and Nancy, Johnathan and eventually Robin he would also help cook for whoever he was staying with he wanted to make sure he was the perfect house guest so he would be invited back next year.
When he and Eddie started dating, Steve half expected he would be invited over at Christmas. Their relationship was going strong they were attached at the hip, and Wayne was very tolerant of them, and he seemed to like him, so he was hoping it would be offered. Except it wasn't November came and left, then it was December 1st, then 4th, then 8th, then 16th, and Eddie hadn't said anything. Which was fine. Christmas is a family thing, after all, and they had been dating for only 4 months. However, Robin and her family were going out of town this year, and Dustin and his mother were hosting his Aunt and Grandma and Steve didn't want to take up anymore space but he couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of rejection and grimacing at the idea of spending Christmas alone in his quiet, dark house.
On the 23rd of December, Steve was sitting in his room. Robin had already left, and family video had closed for the holidays, and Steve figured he shouldn't bother Eddie since it was so close to Christmas. He tried to distract himself by reading a book, wrapping presents he would give out on boxing day, but there was only so much he could do before his mind drifted back, too, his depressing reality. Just as Steve thought about pulling back the covers and spending the next 2 days in bed, the doorbell rang. He went downstairs and opened the door to reveal his boyfriend smiling widely at him.
"Eddie! Hi, I didn't know you were coming over, " Steve said, letting him in.
"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you, baby," Eddie said, stepping through the front door and kissing Steve on the cheek. "I have your christmas present"
Steve glanced at the poorly wrapped box Eddie was gripping with excitement.
"Oh Ed's you didn't have to-"
"Shhh, of course I had too it's Christmas, and you're my boyfriend now where is your tree?" Eddie said, venturing into the living room
"Um..." Steve trailed off suddenly embarrassed by the lack of decoration.
"Wow, you've left decorating really late are you waiting for your parents or something?"
"T-they're not coming"
"What?"
"They're not coming back for Christmas," Steve stated
"Oh my god baby, I'm so sorry," Eddie said, placing his gift on the coffee table and giving his boyfriend a hug
"It's alright Eddie really" Steve chuckled "They haven't spent Christmas with me in years so-"
"Years?!" Eddie said, eyes widening. "So you've been by yourself every year?"
"No, Dustin and Robin have invited me over, but neither of them could this year"
"Why didn't you ask me?" Eddie said sounding a little heartbroken
"I don't know a part of me thought you might ask first and then I thought Christmas is a family thing so you probably want to be with Wayne only"
"Stevie, you are my family too. I love you," Eddie said sincerely.
Steve couldn't stop the tears from welling in his eyes the way Eddie spoke so gently and rested his palm on Steve's cheek.
"I'm sorry." Was all Steve could manage not exactly sure what he was apologising for. Eddie shushed him and cleared his throat.
"Steve Harrington," Eddie started. "Would you please make me the happiest man alive and join me and my uncle for Christmas?"
"Yes," Steve said, laughing at the end.
Eddie and Steve didn't waste a second gathering some of Steve's things, the presents he wrapped, and drove back to the trailer park. Wayne was more than happy to have Steve over for Christmas, especially since he had an extra pair of hands in the kitchen. Eddie and Steve cuddled up on the couch that evening, their mugs of hot chocolate cooling on the coffee table. Eddie pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead.
"Merry Christmas, Stevie"
"Merry Christmas, Ed's"
323 notes · View notes
becomingfoxes · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You take care of everyone, Steve, let me take care of you.
1K notes · View notes
berenwrites · 2 months
Text
Falling - Stranger Things - Steddie - PG
A/N: This one came to me in a dream – no seriously, I had the initial line in my head when I drifted off to sleep again Sunday morning and I kind of had a dream within a dream where the rest of the fic happened 😆. Thanks for reading.  Also don’t forget to check out all the other great fics at @steddiemicrofic too💖.
Written for prompt: EDGE | wc: 509 | PG | cw: PTSD, mentions of torture
(Also on AO3)(check out my other ST fanfic on Tumblr here)
Falling: Who Will Catch Me?
Hawkins felt different. It was all over. They had come through the fire. Vecna/Henry/One was dead. The fissures were closed. The shadow over Hawkins was gone, it was obvious to everyone.
But Steve was falling apart. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff looking into a pit of darkness below.
For a month now he’d had Eddie to look after. Eddie who he’d carried out of the Upside Down on his back. Eddie who had looked like a monster when they first went back in, a creation of Vecna’s. Eddie who had turned on his master and helped them win, who had screamed as the monstrous parts of him melted away after Vecna died. Eddie who had been living in Steve’s house while he recovered as the others worked on clearing his name.
Eddie who Steve was pretty sure he was falling in love with.
Only now Eddie had moved back in with his uncle and Steve was alone in his house again. He had no one to look after, no one to focus on all the time, and Hawkins was free. Something inside him had relaxed for the first time in years, and he was coming apart at the seams.
Here he was in Joyce and Hopper’s new garden, surrounded by people celebrating their victory as well as the graduation of Jonathan, Nancy, Robin, and Eddie. Even Principal Higgins had had to bow to public opinion and allow Eddie to graduate with extenuating circumstances when the cover story had revealed Eddie to be the hero he was, not the murderer the town had tried to make him.
Everyone looked so happy. Steve couldn’t ruin that. So, he was smiling in all the right places, plastering over all the cracks before they could show on the outside. After all, he was always the strong one. That’s what he was good for. He couldn’t let anyone see, especially not Robin. He would not spoil her day.
He was doing a good job, holding a beer, watching the kids be kids, when the cliff edge crumbled beneath his feet. It was so stupid. Dimitri laughed. That’s all it was. And one second he was standing in a garden and the next he was in a dingy grey room.
His chest felt tight. It hurt to breathe. His face ached. And all he could do was beg them to stop hitting him. He worked for Scoops, he wasn’t a spy.
“Steve.”
That sounded like Robin, but all he could see was fists.
“Steve.”
And Eddie. But Eddie wasn’t in the bunker.
“Steve, you’re safe. We got out. We’re safe.”
That was definitely Robin. She said they were safe. She never lied to him.
“Robs,” was the best he could do, reaching out through the images his mind insisted were there.
“We’ve got you,” Robin promised as two pairs of arms wound around him and the waking nightmare slowly faded.
Maybe he’d fallen off the edge but, in that moment, he realised there were people to catch him.
(check out my other ST fanfic on Tumblr here)
52 notes · View notes
tartarusknight · 1 year
Text
5 times Steve had to prove he was worth love + 1 time someone just loved him without needing him to.
_1_
I've been falling much more deep Than I wanna I've been wishing I could breathe Underwater I hold my breath I can't see what comes next I don't know when I'll see dry land again
__Nancy and Jonathan__
His relationship with Nancy had been blooming. It had made him feel giddy whenever he thought about it. He had been striving to prove himself to her. That he loved her. That he wasn’t just some stupid guy working his way through the girls in Hawkins High.
But all of it was over now.
Steve had seen Nancy with Jonathan’s arm around her. He had seen a moment that he wasn’t meant to see and felt the ground crumble underneath him. Any thoughts about the kind Nancy Wheeler, the one who looked at him with adorably innocent eyes, were gone. He had stumbled down and did what he did best. Put on a fake emotion to hide what he was feeling.
The crushing hurt, the heartbreak. It all was masked under annoyance that turned into anger as Tommy and Carol stood by him. Those feelings had stuck with him until he was on the ground, Jonathan straddling him. The anger died then. Too much guilt mixed with the hurt until he was telling Tommy and Carol to fuck off in a desperate attempt to prove that he wasn’t the type of person who’d do what he just did.
He had gone home and had begged for someone, anyone, to show him how to be good. Steve had known that Tommy and Carol weren’t good, that they weren’t kind. But was he? No, no he was an asshole and he knew it. That’s why he hadn’t let himself simmer in the quiet house. It’s why he had turned on his car and driven to the Byer’s house.
He had seen the Christmas lights through the window before he knocked. “Jonathan? Are you there, man? It’s Steve! Listen I just want to talk!” He shouted through the closed door. He paused before knocking once more. Except it wasn’t Jonathan but Nancy who opened the door. “Hey, uh, Nancy?” He felt his heart drop. He had gone to Jonathan’s first because it would be simpler. Apologizing to Nancy would be harder and he wasn’t ready to see her disappointment.
“Steve, listen to me, you need to leave.” She ordered, her voice not leaving any room for arguments but Steve needed to fight this.
He put his hand up, “no, no, I’m not here to start anything, okay?”
She rolled her eyes, “I don’t care about that.” And she looked completely annoyed. It made Steve want to crawl into a hole and die if he was honest. “You need to leave, right now.”
“No, no, no, I- I- I messed up, okay? I messed up.” He said, unsure of what to say to her. Of how to start the conversation.  “Really, please, I just want to make things right.” His voice quieted and her eyes softened, leaving only worry behind.
But that made him worry. Because why was she worried? Then he saw her hand and everything became worse. “Wh- Hey, what happened to your hand?” His voice went so soft that it surprised him. He reached out to touch her but she pulled away. “Is that blood?”
“Nothing, it was an accident.” She stammered and he could see the lie in her face.
And it didn’t matter if she didn’t like him how he liked her. He could still be there for her. “What’s going on?” He asked, desperately hoping she’d let him in.
But her face went stony, “nothing.”
As she glanced back into the house his worries grew. He remembered hearing about how Lonnie Byers was a violent man. How he never treated those he loved well but how Lonnie was still seen as a good person. Steve had never understood and now, standing here he wondered if Jonathan was the same way. Steve already knew he packed a mean punch. “Wait a sec. Did he do this to you?”
Her eyes grew wide and worried, “no.” It was sharper this time and Steve thought understood what she was worried about.
“Nancy, let me in!” He pushed his way through and froze at the sight of everything around him. “What is… what the f-” he murmured as he noticed Christmas lights around everything. A baseball bat with nails hammered into it.
Jonathan moved fast and shoved at him. “You need to get out of here.” Jonathan’s voice was dark and he pushed Steve towards the door. But it only made Steve’s eyes catch on the matching bandage. “Listen to me. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you, get out of here!”
“What is this? What is that smell?” He was starting to panic and as he glanced around. “Is that- is that gasoline?”
As he struggles against Jonathan he glances at Nancy. “Steve,” she snaps and he hears the cock of a gun as she points a pistol at him. “Get out!”
Jonathan backs off of him to get out of the line of fire and Steve’s unsure of everything now. “What? What is going on!”
Nancy doesn’t look completely confident but that isn’t comforting. “You have five seconds to get out of here.” She snaps and he waves his hands frantically around himself.
“Okay, is this a joke? Stop. Put the gun down.” He tries and the lights flair to life around them.
“I’m doing this for you,” she says and actually looks guilty about it all. Like she wasn’t aiming a gun at him.
Jonathan’s trying to get her attention as he tries to get a sense of what was happening. Nancy counting down like she’s ready to shoot him if he doesn’t leave. “Nancy! The lights!” Jonathan shouts and it’s the first time Steve’s heard him yell. “It’s here,” Jonathan stumbles to the nail bat.
“Wait, what’s here?” He questions but they don’t pay him any attention. They are watching the walls like something was going to jump out at them. “Hello? Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going-”
He’s cut off by the ceiling caving in. Not just caving in. But it’s like something was breaking through. A white creature that Nancy aims and shoots at quickly. It steals Steve’s breath away and he’s sure he’s about to die. He vaguely watches Jonathan pull Nancy back just as the creature hits the ground, snarling at them. “Get out of here!” Jonathan grabs his hand and pulls him along. “Jump!” Jonathan warns and Steve barely sees the bear trap in time. He just runs after the other two listening to the creature roar behind him.
But the silence was worse. It made his panic bubble and explode because there was a monster that broke through the ceiling. Except now the ceiling was fixed and he’s wondering if accidentally smoked some back weed. And as Nancy snaps at him to just leave, he listens. He stumbles out to the car and drops his keys in his panic.
Then his door is open and he’s looking back at the house. God, he just wanted to apologize. He didn’t need this shit. But then the lights are flickering. He thinks of Nancy’s worry and how they were determined to fight this thing. “Jonathan!” Maybe he’s an asshole but he can’t let them face it alone. He runs back in at the sound of gunfire and snarling. Seeing Jonathan on the ground, the nail bat just a few feet from him. Nancy back away from the creature that was moving towards her.
He doesn’t know if Jonathan’s hurt but right now, Nancy’s okay and he’ll keep it that way. Steve picks up the bat and jumps between Nancy and the creature as Nancy’s gun clicks again and again. He smacks it hard and moves to keep it away from the other two. He knew they needed it in the bear trap. So, he was determined to force it into the bear trap. Swing, move, dodge. The thing's long arms almost hit him as he has to get in close to hit the damn thing.
It feels like a life time until he hears the clang of the metal and watches it falter from the bite of the bear trap. “He’s in the trap! He’s stuck!” He shouts.
Nancy moved next to him, “Jonathan now!” She yells and Steve’s relieved to see Jonathan up and moving. He tosses his lighter onto the gasoline he had smelled and the creature went up in flames. But as Jonathan puts out the fire and the smoke clears, the creature is gone.
Steve swears under his breath but then the lights are back on. He stays in front of them and but the lights stay gentle. Just a glow instead of the intense flashing and as Jonathan whispers, “mom?” Steve lets him in front. He has no clue what’s happening but Jonathan looks relaxed.
They stand there for a moment before Steve feels a hand grip his arm. He glances down at Nancy and she gives him a watery smile. She mouths ‘thank you’ and he just nods. He lets them head inside and for a moment he thinks about leaving again, but he pushes that aside. He just leans against the wall out there, letting it wash over him.
And later as they get the call about Will, he offers to drive. Jonathan packs a few things for Will before they both get into his back seat. He drives faster than normal but it’s not the biggest worry in his mind. As they get there and they stumble out, they pause. “You saved my life,” Jonathan says softly and Steve’s unsure what to say.
He swallows, “yeah, well, I figured I owed you one… and well that was a better apology than anything I could’ve said.” They looked shocked for a moment before he smiles, “go see your brother, man. You deserve it,” he grins and Jonathan nods, jogging towards the hospital.
“You’re a better man than I thought you were, Steve Harrington.” Nancy smiles and Steve blinks. “Keep going like this and I might just think you’re a good one.” She murmurs and he thinks maybe he can prove that he is good. She nods to the building and he’s about to say no when Nancy grabs his hand. “Keep proving it to me?”
Steve shuts the door to his car and locks it. “Yeah, I can do that.”
_2_
Another 40 days I'm lost at sea I'm just gonna swim until you love me Hoping that your heart will rescue me I'm just gonna swim until you love me Swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim, swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim.
__Dustin and Lucas__
Steve knows he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But at the same time, he was in the right place at the right time. Because as he sits in the junkyard school bus with Dustin, Lucas, and Max, he knows they’re better off because he’s here. Sure, they’re not completely safe. Sure, there are better people they could’ve gotten. And sure, he probably lost his chance with Nancy. But right now, he’s protecting these little shits with all his heart.
A painfully familiar sound cuts through the air and he’s up on his feet before he can really think about it. Looking out into the fog and feels dread in his bones. “10 o’clock! 10 o’clock!” Lucas’s voice goes up in pitch and Steve knows the kid is scared. Hell, Steve’s terrified. But he looks out and points out the monster to Dustin. For a moment he’s just glad it’s not 7 feet tall this time.
But then that little bit of relief dies because “he’s not taking the bait. Why isn’t he taking the bait?” He questions and there’s a sinking feeling in his chest.
Dustin glances at him and he looks confused too. “Maybe he’s not hungry.” He says softly and something clicks in his mind. And he knows that him just being here won’t be enough, but he has to try.
“Maybe he’s sick of cow.” He backs up from the window and it takes a second to completely hit him. But he knows what he has to do. He steels himself and heads to the door.
“Steve?” Dustin moves like he’s going to follow him but then he stops like he can’t move any further. Steve thought back to school when they taught flight or fight. The response to fear… no one ever talked about freezing up. But it happened to everyone. “Steve, what are you doing?” There’s worry in his tone but Steve knows he has to protect these goddamn kids. “Steve?”
He looks back to Dustin and pulls out his lighter, “Just get ready.” He says and tosses the lighter before he heads out the door.
He hears the door shut behind him and he feels something settle in his chest. He was helping. He was proving to these kids that he could help them. So, he whistles and calls out for the dog-looking creature as he gets up to the pile of meat. “Human taste better than cat, I promise.” He says before the fog clears just enough that can see the thing.
“Steve! Watch out!” Lucas shrieks like Steve wasn’t already completely focused on the target.
He huffs and swings the bat a little, “a little busy here.” He calls back.
But then Lucas says something that makes his entire body flood with fear. “3 o’clock! 3 o’clock!” The thing in front of him hasn’t moved. So, as he glances over and sees 2 more, his panic builds.
Dustin’s calling his name and Steve hopes he won’t get murdered in front of a bunch of middle schoolers. “Abort, abort!” Dustin yells but then the thing is growling at him.
He turns his focus back on the creatures and all at once they rush toward him. He dodges the first, rolls over the hood of a car to dodge the second, and hits the third with his bat. He takes the moment to turn and run. Everything in his body screamed at him to move faster, to be faster. They snarl behind him and all the kids are at the door waiting for him as he jumps in. Slamming it shut and holding it there with his legs. Thankful that he doesn’t skip leg day.
He puts a piece of metal in front of the door as the kids devolve into panicked chatter. It makes him think of his own freaked-out yells back at the Byers’. The whole bus rocks as they slam into it and Steve looks at these three kids. But then one is clawing through. He takes his bat to it repeatedly as the kids back up. Except then things are surrounding the bus and Steve’s not sure he has this under control.
He hears one get onto the roof followed by Max’s screams. He shoves Max out of the way as quickly as he can. Putting himself between him and the damn thing. Once again putting himself between someone and a monster. It roars and the flower petal mouth brings up all the worst memories. But then as the bus rocks one last time the things run off. He’s shaking as it gets so quiet so quickly. Then kids all stand up and look around the best they can through the slots of metal. “What happened?” Lucas asked.
“I don’t know,” Max mutters and she sounds shaken.
“Steve scared ‘em off?” Dustin offered.
Steve shook his head, “no. No way. They’re going somewhere.” He looks back at them, and they all look scared.
They all stand there for a minute and Steve lets the bat hit the ground. However, he’s surprised by Dustin barreling into him. He’s unprepared for the hug and he stands there shocked for a long moment before Dustin pulls back. “You were going to die for us.”
Steve raises an eyebrow to hide the emotions inside, “I mean I was gonna try to live.” He drawls and Dustin smiles up at him.
“The Steve Harrington was willing to die for me.” Dustin is grinning now and Steve rolls his eyes. Steve reaches out and ruffles his hair the best he could with the hat on his head. “Guess your not just a douchebag... suppose I should keep you around.”
Steve snorts, “well I am your ride. Come on, let's get moving.” He calls out and watches Lucas and Max snap out of whatever moment they were having.
_3_
I've been drowning in these sheets Feeling lonely Wishing you were here with me Every morning Over my head The tide comes rolling in I don't know when I'll see dry land again.
__Hopper, Joyce, Mike, and Max__
Steve leans against the wall on the floor of the Byers’ house. His vision is wobbly but he keeps his eyes on the unconscious form of Billy Hargrove. The kids are all around him and he’s got Dustin under one of his arms. Mike is sitting mostly by himself, eyes trained on the door. Max is on Steve’s other side, not touching but not too far away and Lucas was on her other side. All of them were exhausted but unwilling to fall asleep before they learned if they were successful today. If they won or lost.
“I’m sorry,” Max breaks the silence and Steve drags his eyes away from Billy. He looks at her but she isn’t looking at him. Her eyes on trained on her lap and he wonders if she’s talking to him or someone else. “If I hadn’t been here you wouldn’t have- Billy wouldn’t have-” she starts and Steve knows the other kids are staring.
He just reaches out and pulls her so she’s tucked under his other arm. “It’s fine. I’ve been wanting to punch him since I met him.” He grins down at her and she has a slight smile on her face.
He’s starting to struggle to stay awake but he has all the kids next to him. Well, not all. “Mike,” he says and the boy glances over. “Get over here,” he huffs and Mike blinks like he’s surprised. “Come on, over here.” He jerks his head to Dustin but it makes everything a blur. He has to freeze, his entire body tensing up. But once he’s back into his body, Mike’s on Dustin’s other side. All of them together. Steve’s hands are on Lucas and Mike’s shoulders while Dustin and Max curl up into his torso. Steve notices one by one the kids falling asleep and he’s glad. They needed it. He would love to sleep but he forces himself to keep an eye on Billy and the door.
They stay that way until the door opens and Joyce comes in. She’s holding the door as Jonathan and Nancy support Will. None of the kids move a muscle and Joyce goes quiet when she spots them. He gives her a tired smile but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t know if he could with Max and Dustin holding onto him. They disappear down the hall but Nancy reappears. She pauses and looks at him. He smiles back, “done?” He mouths and she nods.
She jerks her thumb at the knocked-out Billy and Steve just mouths, “Drugs.”
Nancy’s mouth twitches like she’s stopping a smile from forming on her face. “You alright?” She mouths to him and he gives her a weak smile in return. Eventually, she disappears again and Steve tries to rest his head against the wall but it makes his head burn. So, he just keeps his eyes trained on the chaos. Soon enough, Nancy and Jonathan reappear and they struggle to pull Billy out of the house. Steve would help but he knew he wouldn’t be much help.
When she gets back, Jonathan gives her hand a squeeze before he’s heading back toward where his brother and mom are. Then Nancy’s moving over to Steve and the kids. She moves and sits down next to Mike. Her arm wraps around Mike and the kid doesn’t wake, just leans into her. They stay in silence and Steve feels himself nodding off.
He’s not sure if he actually falls asleep but he jerks into awareness when Hopper gets back with El. El’s in his arms and Steve’s instantly worried. However, as she’s lowered onto the couch, Hopper notices him. “She’s just tired,” he says softly and Steve relaxes slightly. But he isn’t the only one who woke up to Hopper’s return. The kids all seem to awake and then they're talking. Nancy tells them Will’s okay as Hopper does the same for El.
It’s loud and Steve can’t seem to move from his spot on the ground. He hears Nancy talk about what happened and the kids tell the others what happened on their side. But then it goes quiet. He barely even noticed until he feels a hand on his shoulder. “Hmm?” He questions and blinks to see Hopper looking him over. “Lookin’ at m’pretty face?” His words feel slurred and he knows that’s not the best, but he’s too tired to worry.
“Did anyone look you over?” Hopper questions and Steve snorts. It makes his nose burn and he lets his eyes close.
“Kids bandaged me up,” he jokes. Referring to the colorful bandages they slapped on him before they went into the tunnels.
“Steve let’s get you up,” Hopper orders and Steve groans.
Hopper’s hands try to help him but each move makes his brain swirl like a soup bowl. “No, m‘fine here. M’dizzy,” He groans but then Nancy’s also helping him to his feet. As soon as he’s on his feet his stomach rebels and he gags. Suddenly he’s moving fast with the other two helping out the door. He heaves the small amount of shit he’s eaten that day onto the lawn.
“I’m gonna drive him to the hospital,” Hopper states, and Steve whines. “No, it’s not an option kid. Keep an eye on the kids.”
“Is he going to be, okay?” Max questions.
“He was fine earlier,” Dustin says nervously.
Steve lets himself be manhandled toward the truck. “Adrenaline probably’s worn off. I’m sure he’s fine,” Hopper assures and Steve nods in agreement. It makes the older man snort. “Come on,” he orders and Steve gets some help getting into the truck.
As Hopper drives, Steve just leans against the window. “Kid, I want you to stay awake. I’m no doctor, but even I know it’s not good to sleep with a head injury.” Hopper states and Steve groans. “Shh, I don’t care, just listen to me.”
Steve hums, “I already slept.” He groans and Hopper huffs. He looks over and Hopper’s face is a mess of emotions. “M’sorry about tunnels.”
Hopper looked over and he had something on his face, but it wasn’t anger. “Kid… I know it wasn’t your idea about the tunnels. Just thank you for keeping an eye on them. Joyce and I really appreciate it… You’re a good kid.” He says and Steve blinks, feeling tears welling up.
Hopper clears his throat, “And well, I know you were trouble in the past. Parties, alcohol, fights… But you’ve really stepped it up. You’re becoming a role model these kids need.” Steve looked down at his hands and everything was blurry. Whether it was tears or just dizziness he didn’t know. “That’s why you’re going to be fine. Cause you have to be,” Hopper’s voice is gruff and Steve gives him a jerky nod before he sinks into the seat of the truck. “So, stay awake.” Steve nods but his eyes shut anyways.
_4_
Another 40 days I'm lost at sea I'm just gonna swim until you love me Hoping that your heart will rescue me I'm just gonna swim until you love me Swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim. Swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim.
__Robin__
Steve had his back to Robin, tied to each other, to chairs. Knocked over laying on the ground. He felt like shit but he couldn’t really focus on that right now. Not when there were problems at hand. “Robin, are you laughing?” He groans and she continues to laugh.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry,” she laughs but then tries to calm herself. “It’s just- I can’t believe I’m gonna die in a secret Russian base with Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. It’s just too trippy man.” She starts laughing again and he lets his head rest on the cool tile.
“We’re not gonna die,” he says but it’s a lie. He can’t think of a single way they're making it out of here. That’s why he tried to stay behind alone. But once again he wasn’t strong enough.
First, it was running away from the Demogorgon. Then Max came in to save his ass. And now it was how he couldn’t even block a door by himself. It was pathetic… he tries to stay positive and tries to think but then Robin’s still talking. Not an escape plan that would probably fail but about sophomore history class. “I sat behind you 2 days a week for a year. Mister funny. Mister cool. The king of Hawkins High himself.” She makes it harder to breathe as her tone goes darker.
“Do you even remember me from that class?” She asks but they both know the answer. He sits in his self-hatred as she scoffs, “Of course, you don’t. You were a real asshole, you know that?”
He doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah, I know.”
She swallows, “But it didn’t even matter- it didn’t matter that you were an ass. I was still obsessed with you. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular. Accepted. Normal.”
Steve feels like he might break down if he lets her continue. But he knows the right thing to do is let her tell him off. He can’t bury the past. He can’t pretend he wasn’t an asshole. She had every right to bring it up. “If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great.” He admits and tries to hide the emotion swirling in his chest, “Seriously. It just baffles me… everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it's all just…” A small laugh escapes him, full of pain. Seeing Nancy’s righteous fury as she looked up at him and said “Bullshit.”
He feels exhausted and sighs, “but I guess you’ve got to mess up to figure things out, right?”
She shifts a little to lean more against him and the closeness makes it a little easier. “I hope so, I feel like my whole life has been… one big error.” She laughs and so does he, even though it’s sadder than funny. Maybe in a better world, they’d be able to laugh about this, years down the line. But the truth was, Steve, expected to die here and he knew Robin did too. Even as they dream about meeting each other earlier. As they wish they never learned about the Russians under their feet.
“Gotta say though, I liked being your schmuck,” he chuckled. In a better world, Steve could’ve proved himself in a different way. But in the end, he’s never really been able to prove himself outside of life-and-death situations. Destined to be alone or never able to truly relax because the next near-death experience will bring another person into his life. He sits there and for this moment… he wanted to be her shmuck. “It was fun while it lasted.”
Robin’s shoulder presses into his and it’s a comfort, “it was.”
***
Steve had sat in his house all alone after getting home. After Russian torture, Monsters, doctors, and government cover-ups. He had taken a shower and curled up on his couch until the sun rose into the sky. Still, he didn’t move. He didn’t know if he had the energy anymore. He had gotten checked over but his brain was too scrambled to really know how he was supposed to do to take care of himself. He was just too exhausted from it all.
Yet around noon, a knock came on his door. He didn’t move until whoever it was knocked again. He pushed himself up and groaned at the movement. When he opened the door, it was to Robin. She stood there in a Madonna tee and baggy shorts. “Hey,” she murmurs and he steps aside to let her in. He walks back to the couch and lowers himself with a groan. “Are you taking any pain medication?” She questions and he glances over to the bag on the coffee table, full of everything they gave him.
He sighs, “Mostly just trying to lay here until I either heal or die.” He smirks and she smiles back at him.
But then she grabs the back and digs through it. Reading a pamphlet and organizing the few bottles on the table. “Steve,” she says and he glanced over here. “You’re not okay, are you?”
Steve sighs and looks back up at the ceiling. “No, I’m really not.”
She’s quiet but then she’s shifting until she is laying down as well. Her head by his, their feet dangling over the side of the couch. “What- why are you here?” He can’t help but ask as they fall into a comfortable silence.
Robin doesn't say anything for a long moment and Steve’s just about to take it back when she sighs. “I told you my deepest, darkest secret…”
Steve shifts his head and looks at her. She turns hers and their faces are inches apart. “Just because I was high doesn’t mean my opinion’s changed, Robin. You like boobies, big deal. So do I…” he pauses and looks back up at the ceiling.
He clears his throat, “I mean I don’t get it. Not really. Never seeing someone as attractive. Like seriously, some guys are ridiculously attractive.” He shrugs, “but to each your own.”
Robin sucks in sharply and Steve winces as she sits up quickly. But she’s not moving away from him. Instead, she’s on her elbows, hovering over him and forcing eye contact. Her face is completely serious, “Steve Harrington, did you just… come out to me?”
He frowns, “I guess.”
Her expression melts into a grin. “You know, for someone who was an asshole, you’ve got a lot of depth.”
“Is that any way to talk to your best friend?” He jokes and she looks so happy at his words.
She shrugs a little and shifts to lie back down next to him. “Ehh, you’ve proved to me that you’re not… you’re a surprisingly good person.”
He lets his eyes close at her words, “thanks I guess.”
“It’s a compliment!” She promises and he nods, letting the words sink in. They settle just like all of the others before.
_5_
I will never get over you.
Another 40 days I'm lost at sea I'm just gonna swim until you love me Hoping that your heart will rescue me I'm just gonna swim until you love me.
__Eddie__
Steve walked side by side with Eddie through the Upside Down. “I guess I couldn’t accept the fact the Steeeve Harrington was actually… a good dude.” Steve looks to the ground, feeling that old familiar feeling stir in his chest. But Eddie had every right to hold those grudges. Steve didn’t know if he ever actually did anything to the guy, but he probably didn’t stop anything either. “Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche? No way, man. No way. That like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine,” Eddie says.
And Steve thinks, maybe he was doomed to be an asshole from the start. Maybe it was just who he was meant to be. Thinking about it, it makes sense. Maybe no matter how much he proves himself, he’ll still be a rich kid who peaked in high school. No matter how much growth, he’d always have that obstacle to overcome.
Then Eddie leaned in closer, so close that Steve had to lean back a little to stop them from touching. “Still super jealous as hell, by the way.” He grins at Steve and Steve can’t help but smile back. Even in this hellscape with his head foggy from pain and the world blurry after he pulled out his ruined contacts after he faced yet another near-death experience… he smiles back. Eddie’s got a good smile, a nice smile.
Steve bumped him back and swallowed back the emotions swirling through him. “That’s why I would’ve never jumped in to save your ass. Not under any, uh… normal circumstances.” Eddie just kept talking, walking right next to him. There’s a noise off to the right and Steve directs the flashlight in that direction, but it’s just more of the decaying landscape. Eddie looks scared for a moment as they stop talking. It makes Steve want to ask him to keep talking. To keep filling the space between them…
Eddie cleared his throat like he heard Steve’s silent prayers. But maybe Eddie needed to fill the silence too. “Nope, outside of d&d I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week.” He says, sounding so guilty that Steve could taste it.
Steve can’t stop himself before he pats Eddie’s chest. “Give yourself a break, man. We all run the first time,” he states and his words seem to hit Eddie.
“You’re telling me that, you, Steve Harrington, the man who just bit one of these creatures, ran the first time,” Eddie says and his voice is so unbelieving that Steve can’t help but snort.
He looks over and knocks their shoulders together. “Yeah, I did,” he sighs. He pictures running from Jonathan, Tommy, and the Demogorgon. He thinks of how he avoided Billy, his parents, and anything about the Upside Down. But then he remembers going to help Dustin figure out the Russians, getting them out of the elevator, knocking out the guard, holding the door, taking the hits… Steve learned to push past his own cowardice.
Steve sighs, “Eddie, you ran and it’s okay. Jesus, it’s okay to run from this shit. Sometimes running means, you live.” He states, picturing all of the people who died fighting. Billy comes to mind. The guy holding his ground. Planting his feet and facing the monster for them. Dying painfully in Max’s arms.
“Sometimes running means someone else dies,” Eddie says and Steve looks over at him. The bags under his eyes. The haunted look that was, no doubt, reflected on his own face.
He looks at the ground, “the first time this stuff happened… someone died in my backyard. She was there for a party and while I was upstairs fucking her best friend, she was being torn apart. I didn’t run, I didn’t fight, man, I didn’t even know it happened. Once again my ability to stand off to the side of everything, got someone hurt... She was there for a party I threw after a kid went missing and I didn’t even care that she was missing the next day.” Steve rambled and felt the old guilt building up. “I was too worried about my parents and- Nancy was right it was bullshit.”
Steve looks over at Eddie, he looks surprised and Steve gives him a small smile. “So, sure, you ran but at least you tried to save her. And I get that it’s easier to blame yourself than to feel like you couldn’t have done anything to save her. But don’t go and do something stupid to make up for it.” His voice goes quiet and Steve glances down at his bandages that were slowly turning red. “Cause dying isn’t going to bring her back.”
Eddie clears his throat, “wow. I- uh, you’re surprisingly wise, man.” He sounds emotional and unsure of himself.
Steve sighs, “nah. I just graduated.” He teases and gets a shove for it. He laughs and Eddie snorts like he couldn’t believe him. He’s got a small smile on his face and he rolls his eyes at Steve. It’s lighthearted and it makes this hellscape feel a little bit lighter.
They fall into silence and Steve breaks it. “But just, thanks for coming in after me.”
Eddie shakes his head, “I was too damn ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. Those ladies, they jumped right in after you. They didn’t waste a second. Didn’t even hesitate.” Steve blinks and looks ahead at the girls. “I don’t know what happened between you and Wheeler or what your deal with Buckley is, but… you’ve got two ladies who are willing to die for you. That’s love... It’s a sign of love if I’ve ever seen it.”
Steve blinks and then he sighs, “Honestly, I would’ve rather you guys run than dive in after me.”
Eddie moves to grab his shoulder, making them pause. He looks back at Eddie, raising an eyebrow. “Well, sucks, man. We came in after you. And now you have to deal with us.”
It makes Steve smile, “trauma bonds us, huh?”
Eddie laughs, “Yeah, Harrington. You got a friend today because of this shit.” It’s not a surprise to Steve. He always seems to get friends from this shit.
“Okay, Munson, sounds like a plan.” Before they can say anymore the earth shakes and Steve holds onto Eddie. They keep each other up as Robin yells for Nancy to come back.
_+1_
Swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim. Swim until you love me Swim, swim, swim.
I will never get over you.
__Eleven__
Steve didn’t have the same childhood as others did. He spent most of his childhood in the back of a car or on a plane. Moving everywhere with his busy parents. He spent more time in a hotel room with his mom than time in his actual house. His mom would put something in front of him and then she’d put as much distance as she could between them.
Once he started school it changed. His mom brought him home and he got used to staying in one place. He met other kids and adults who actually liked their kids. But as he grew up, he began to understand what he had missed all his life.
You’re told that from the minute you’re born, your parents love you. But Steve knew that wasn’t the truth. Just like everyone else, you had to prove yourself to them. Just like a teacher, you had to prove that you were good enough to be loved by them.
And as Steve grew up, he joined sports, played piano to make his mom smile, he learned to use his words to charm everyone. But his parents never believed his charm. It was never enough. Steve was never enough. Eventually not even his mom stayed home with him. It was just Steve in that house. He had tried and tried to be who they wanted but it was never enough. So, he started to act out. He did stupid shit just so they would come home. Even though it was only ever for an argument.
He wanted to prove that he was enough. That he was worth their love. But he never managed it. Over time he learned that was okay. He’ll never prove himself to them, but he can keep proving himself to the family he got through pain and bloodshed. The people he was able to show his love to. The people that were able to love him regardless of his faults.
He drove the kids everywhere they wanted to go. He looked after them so Joyce and Hopper could have a night out. He listened to Robin and supported her through her developing feelings for Nancy. He held Nancy after she and Jonathan broke up. Told her about bisexuality and gently pushed her and Robin closer. He distracted everyone to give Jonathan time to sneak out with Argyle so they could go relax. He sat next to Max’s bed so Lucas and Erica could go get some rest. He talked to Max quietly as she woke up disoriented and sore. He sat with Wayne next to Eddie after the idiot still went to prove himself. He volunteered at the school and pushed himself as much as he could to be the person everyone needed. There was no time to be anything less.
Still, he couldn’t stop the way his body was slowing down. He hadn’t been taking care of himself. How could he when everything else was so much more important? Instead, he said that he’d spend some time at the cabin with El who was once again in lockdown. He made his way through the forest and knocked the weird knock. The door swung open and El stood there looking tired but happy to see him. “Hey, kid,” He greets and heads inside.
“Hello,” she says softly back. It’s shy but kind. It’s expected. Steve hasn’t hung around El too much and never alone. He only really knew her through stories from the others.
“So, what do you want to do? What do you normally do? I uh- I’m not uh…” He trailed off as she grabbed a bowl of already-made popcorn and pulled him over to the couch.
She looked over at him with those big eyes of hers. “I do not have lots of experience with hangouts. Max and I…” she trailed off, her eyes growing watery. He shifts and pulls her into his side.
He clears his throat, “well, I have some. Robin and I do dumb shit together all the time.” He looked over at this girl who hadn’t really had a chance to be a teenage girl and hang out with other girls. Being surrounded by boys who weren’t going to teach her to lean into her feminine side.
He sucked in a sharp breath, “You deserve a girls' night and while I’m not a girl, I can do my best.” She looked confused as he stood up from the couch. He groaned as the movements made his bites pull. “Now, where is your nail polish? That always seems like a good start. I’m going into the kitchen to see what you have to make face masks.” She blinked up at him before her face cracked into a grin.
As he mixes up the oats, using the recipe Robin had told him oh so long ago. El moves around him, the movie long forgotten. “Alright, so I know the next step is talking about crushes and that shit.” He states twirling around to look at El. He easily applies it to her face and he pulled his hair into a half up/half down to keep it out of the mask. “Everything we say is safe and stays within the girl night.” He grins, leaning into overdramatic just so she’ll laugh.
“I uh, broke up with Mike.” She admits and Steve leans over to take a hand of hers to start applying the soft yellow polish.
He hums, “and how are you feeling about it?”
Her mouth twists as she tries to find her words. “I think, I think it is good. But I still love him in a way.”
Steve nods, “love doesn’t just go away. When Nancy and I broke up I went insane. For months I was always upset but then I decided to sleep around to see if that would make me feel better. It didn’t so I don’t think you should go down that road.” He teases and she smiles at him. “But even now I love her. But it’s not romantic love anymore.” He shrugs and sticks his tongue out in concentration.
“I don’t think I love him in a romantic way. But knowing if you love someone in an uh," she paused and looked at him before slowly saying, "romantic(?) way is hard,” She sighs. He nods in agreement; it seems to get her to keep talking. “I thought I loved him in a romantic way but it feels like when I see Will. And Will is my brother… Max, I thought-” she cuts herself off with a sigh. “I thought I liked her but I am happy that she is with Lucas. They are quite cute together. I do not think I understand love.”
Steve pictures Eddie's big smile as he said, big boy. “Love is hard, but sometimes to figure out who you love you have to look at those you already understand.”
She looked confused and Steve smiles at her, moving to her other hand. “I loved Nancy, I know I did. But I understood that I liked men by comparing my feelings when she smiled at me too when a guy would get in my space. But I also thought I loved Robin until she fit firmly next to Dustin in my heart. And with Eddie he easily took up the space Nancy left behind.” He admits and her eyes are wide. “So take two people you know for sure and compare everyone else to them.” He says and she nods, brow pinched.
“Will is my brother, I do not want to kiss him.” She states, “Mike used to make me feel like…” she pulled her hands back and mimed shimming and grinning like a lunatic. He couldn’t help but laugh and she gave him her hand once again. “Lucas is like Will, I love him but I do not feel like that with him. Mike, as you said, left space in my heart. But he feels more like a friend.” She nods and he’s proud of how she sorts through people. She frowns, “Max makes me happy but I do not want to kiss her. I want her to be happy and I want to hang out with her.”
She frowns, “Dustin is my friend. He makes me happy. He makes me feel loved and strong.” She says softly, “I do not know… Steve?” She asks and she sounds so lost.
His heart hurts for her. “Kid, I can’t explain your feelings for someone. I just know that when someone makes you happy, you should hold onto them... With Robin, I think I could’ve lived with her the rest of my life. But then she turned me down. And now, it’s gross to even think about kissing her. She’s my sister,” he laughs and she grins at him. “With Nancy, she fell in love with someone when she was with me… our love faded and it couldn’t be helped. But I hold onto my love for them even now that it’s changed. Maybe one day you’ll know what category to put him in, maybe you won’t. But being around him will help that.”
El nods and Steve’s down with her nails. She waves them around to dry them. “I was happy that he was okay. He is nice,” she’s got a small blush on her face and he hopes that this time it would work out for her. “I am really glad he’s okay,” she says softly and takes the paint from him to start on his nails. He offers them easily, holding the bottle in his free hand for her.
Steve thinks about how Eddie’s blood dripped down his back as they carried him out of the Upside Down. “Fear is one way to kick start crushes.”
She nods, looking sad. “It is not fun,” she sighs and he knows that to be the truth.  
They fall into silence as she focuses on his nails. But once she’s done she smiles at him and puts it away. They wash their faces and sit on the couch. He tosses a piece of popcorn and catches it easily. She watches him before attempting to do the same. They stay like that until she looks over at him. “I love you like a brother, like Jonathan.” She says and she makes it sound easy like it’s not a big deal.
It hits him because he’s never been through hell with her. They’ve always been in opposite roles and never once did he put himself in front of a monster for her. “You can’t,” he says softly.
“Steve,” El looks up at him with big eyes. She looks so innocent and it feels like he’s taking advantage of her naivety. She didn’t know that he was always meant to be an asshole. She didn’t understand that he had to prove himself. “You are… Joyce told me that you can say I love you to those you care about. Family, friends, anyone.” She says and she looks a little worried. “She told me that a brother does not have to be a real family member. It is about… being there for each other and caring. You are so kind; you care about us. So, you are our brother.”
Steve shakes his head, “but I- you barely know me, kid. I think you need to take a moment before you decide too quickly. I’m not- I’m not a good person.”
Her nose scrunches up, “you have only ever been kind to me.”
That makes him blink, “well, yeah. But I met you after I worked on becoming a better person. So, you just don’t know.”
El looks over at a picture of the party she pinned to the wall. “They told me you used to be an asshole.” She states and he waits for the words. But you’re better now. You’ve proved that you’ve changed. Instead, she shrugs, “I don’t see it. You have always been kind. You have not proven yourself to be an asshole.”
Steve feels his throat closing and shifts on the couch, “no. El you don’t understand, you have to prove to others that you're worth loving. You can’t just- you can’t just love me. I’m- you-” There’s something pulling in his chest and it’s like he can’t breathe.
“I think you are wrong. For a long time, I did not understand love. It felt wrong. Like a chain to those who demand things of you…” He can see how tense she is and hates that he’s the one making her think back to the lab. “Papa loved me because I proved him right because I was his. But Hop showed me that you can find love everywhere. It is good, it is… it is freedom.”
She looked up at him with determination. “Joyce told me that loving someone is being happy with them. If they make you smile. If they make you feel safe. And if you love freely, you will be happier. My love is free. I want to give you my love.” Steve choked on his tears and she hesitates before she reaches out and takes his hand, “Will you let me?”
“El, I-” he can’t spit out the words he just nods. El easily pulls him into a hug. Always so strong for someone so small.
She loved him even though he was made to be an asshole. She loved him without any hesitance. He cried openly, holding her tightly. She held him just as tight. “I love you too,” he promises and he can feel her smile.
162 notes · View notes
joehawke · 11 months
Text
what if I cry myself to sleep (again)
130 notes · View notes
hotluncheddie · 4 months
Text
high masking autistic steve snippet - a follow on from this and this
wc: 2.5k | rated: T | cw: none | tags: autistic steve harrington (and eddie but again this is about steve), hurt/comfort, established relationship, stimming
ao3
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Steve is spending the evening doing one of his new things. Where he takes time to just be. It’s recovering, or Stevie time, or whatever Eddie and Robin have decided it should be called. 
He’s alone basically, and it’s nice, because he’s letting it be nice. Letting it be restful. 
It’s for when he’s had a meltdown. Or can feel one coming on, because now he’s starting to recognise what overstimulation feels like on his skin. How it prickles at the back of his neck if his breaks cut short, makes his vision vignette if something too unexpected happens. 
Learned that after something like that he’ll need to rest. Needs time. 
And it’s not lazy. It’s not. (Sometimes it still feels like it is.) (Weak…that word always plays in the deep, scathing tone of his father’s voice…and selfish.)  
He’s on the couch, it’s dark, he actually feels really comfortable, and he’s watching The Breakfast Club. Watching it again. It’s his favourite, it feels like his. But he doesn’t like watching it with other people because they might notice how much he likes it and he doesn’t want that. Can’t be seen like that.. Embarrassing. 
So he watches it alone, when he gets home from work. He pauses whenever he wants, rewinds, pauses. Takes a deep breath, rewinds, pauses, stares into space. 
He also pauses to eat the snack he brought in. Actually tasting the food bc it’s the only thing he has to focus on. No lights, no sounds. He forgot how much he likes oranges when they’re ripe. Harder to taste if he has to listen at the same time. So, on a day like today, he lets himself do stuff one step at a time. 
It’ll probably take him double the normal run time to get all the way to the end. But who cares? It’s his time. 
The weird girl’s parents driving off; that feels like him. The jock’s Dad letting him off easy; that doesn’t feel like him. ‘No schools gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case.’ Maybe that does feel like him. Before through. A long time ago now. 
He claps sometimes. Keening high in his throat, a little happy hum that he only lets himself do when he’s alone like this. He does it after he whistles the same tune they do. And during the scene of them running around the corridors. It’s exiting. Makes his lips stretch wide and his feet flap around. He claps. Once. Twice. It feels good. 
He laughs at the characters. How they merge together with bits of his friends. He feels that swell of happy sad emotion looking at the jock when he first comes in, acting above the others, only seeing Molly Ringwald. He lives through a couple flashbacks of himself. Resigns to actually watch them, sit in them, begins to process who he was. Who he’s becoming now. Something like forgiveness tasting sweet on his tongue. He cries a little; that swelling and shifting as buried emotion finally passes. It overcomes him sometimes when he lets his mind relax.. He rewinds, and he laughs. 
“Stevie?”
Steve starts, fingers tangle in the blanket in his lap. Brain slow to process the change, the information. Eddie slipping through the door and coming over to him. Eddie dipping to look at Steve’s face, trying to catch Steve’s eye. Eddie smelling like cigarettes and crisp autumn air, it’s nice, but, it’s a lot. Panic sits bubbling somewhere in him. He wasn’t expecting this. 
“…Eddie?”
“Hey sweetheart. I know you had a shitty day, but Wayne’s at home with a headache and he needs to sleep it off. Wouldn’t’ve been able to stay quiet enough for him.”
Steve breaths in and out a little quickly. Eyes wide. 
Maybe it’s okay. Eddie knows he had a bad day. Maybe it’s okay.
“I’ll sit in the kitchen, work on my campaign, just forget I’m here.” Eddie speaks quietly, almost a whisper. 
He stares at his hand in his lap. “..You won’t, listen?” Steve feels small. Knows he’s not, his frame broad and strong. But, he needs small. Wants his world small tonight, slow. Wants to stay hidden. Him and the couch and the film and nothing else. 
Eddie just shakes his walkman and smiles (in that pointy way that makes Steve’s toes curl). 
“Kay” Steve whispers, still wary, off kilter. But accepts the kiss Eddie drops on his head, tangling their fingers together for a breath. Steve leans forward for a kiss on the lips. It’s deep, and lovely. Steve can smell Eddie’s cologne. Feels where the chill bit at Eddie’s nose. He shivers.
“No cooking.” Steve mumbles while their lips are still close. Small smile pulling at his face, eyes sharp, waiting for Eddie to get it. 
Eddie groans quietly in embarrassment but his eyes are soft and molten and Steve’s toes curl up again. “Course not baby, not again. Once you’re hungry just come through, yeah? Make us something nice.”
And the light of the kitchen doesn’t reach the couch. And Eddie listens to his walkman loud. And Steve’s safe. It’s Eddie. He’s not listening. Steve’s safe. 
His favourite scene; Bender and Claire in the stock cupboard. The way he looks so shocked, the way she bites her lip. ‘Why’d you do that?’ ‘Because I knew you wouldn’t.’ Steve whispers as they do. Claps. It’s such a good scene. He’s exited. He claps again. Rewinds to just watch her face. Rewinds to just watch his. Rewinds and watches the whole scene again. Wraps his arms around his middle and squeezes. Pauses on the kiss. He rubs his fingers agains his mouth. Giddy excitement bubbles in his belly. He hums high and happy again. He loves this movie. 
The weird girl gets a makeover, the jock really likes it. He feels like the weird girl sometimes, maybe Eddie can be his jock. Maybe he should get a makeover. Maybe keep growing out his hair. Maybe Eddie would like that. 
The credits roll. Bender’s fist in the air. Steve drifts on the couch, eyes closed. He breaths deep, his stomach growls. 
He pads through to Eddie. Squinting. Too bright. “D’you mind?” He motions to the lights, his eyes too adjusted to the dark and he doesn’t even wanna try and adjust them back. 
‘‘Cause. What we making?” 
Steve hums, goes into the pantry to see what’s easy. Eddie slips in behind him, hand on his waist. “Pasta?” Steve asks but Eddie doesn’t reply, just turns him gently. Nudging him to step back into the corner. 
Eddie looks at him, dips forward to place a slow kiss on his neck. “Why’d you do tha..’ Steve’s words dry up in his throat. 
“Because I knew you wouldn’t” and Eddie’s eyes are sparking with glee.
Eddie heard him.
He listened.
Steve’s feels himself flush hot, embarrassed and ashamed. “Ah, I, uh.” He can’t explain it, why he had to watch it so many times, why it makes him so exited. He crosses his arms over his chest. Turns back to the shelves of food and picks a can at random. Shoving out of the room. 
“Steve?”
Eddie said he wouldn’t. He listened in on him. He said he wouldn’t. He’s making fun of him. Steve knew he should’ve told Eddie to go home. 
“Stevie? What’s wrong?” But Steve doesn’t want to talk to him. He’s so angry, So ashamed, of himself. What if Eddie heard him clap too, heard him make that high noise, like a fucking baby, like some freak. 
He puts the can on the counter with way too much force, corn, not what he fucking wanted. His hands are shaking. He stares at them, wills his tears to stay behind his lash line. He got too comfortable, he can’t do that. Why is it so hard to pretend now, when it used to be so easy. 
“Steve, tell me what I did, please.” 
“‘M fine” Steve’s insides feel too big, pushing against his skin, itchy all over. He squeezes himself around his middle again, digging his fingers in hard. 
“Don’t do that, you know I hate when you bullshit like that.” Half lovely, half scathing.
The word stinks, a stab to the gut. But Steve gets it, he does, they talked about it. He bites his lip, hard. 
Its old habits or whatever. Because Steve, he loved fine. Liked sinking his teeth into it; toxic waste green coating his mouth and lungs. Thick and delicious. Because fine gets you out of it. Fine gives you translucency. Controlled balance. Everything appearing a none issue, the perfect in-between. Steve was perfect at coming off as something to not worry about, someone to be ignored. It used to work in all situations; can’t get told off if you’re fine, cant do anything wrong, teachers didn’t look twice, his parents wouldn't shout. By staying half alive, never letting anyone too close, never filling your lungs up all the way. That was the fine Steve adored. 
“You were literally just watching a movie. I dunno what the big deal is.” and there’s frustration, confusion, in Eddie, Steve thinks. He feels himself tense up, glance over.
Eddie must see something on his face. See that scared little animal prowling around within him. Because Eddie softens, his voice gentle. “Steve.. it’s nothing I hadn’t heard before.’ And Steve’s teeth clamp together with a click. He’s done that, his clap and his high hum, in front of Eddie before? Steve tries to swallow, he can’t, a lump too big and sticky in his throat.
He can’t look him in the face, angry tears still threatening to spill “You said you wouldn’t listen.” He’s mumbling. He sounds even more like a kid. Stupid. Grow up.
“I heard a little but I was just flipping the tape over, I wasn’t trying to snoop on you Stevie… You just, you sounded happy.” 
Steve huffs. Glances at Eddie. That soft underbelly of his whining, because with Eddie, Steve yearns. Yearns for close. Yearns to be seen, and understood.
“You didn’t mean to?” 
“No, it was just when I was turning the tape.” 
Steve forces a deep breath. 
“You think I’m weird. You hate me.” He whispers it like it’s true. A big part of him believes it, his tears welling up. Feels rejected. Knows that feeling too well. Hates it. 
“Always like you Steve. Always.”
Steve grunts, a tear slips out, rolls down his cheek.
“‘M embarrassed” comes out like an ugly sob. Steve scrubs his palms on his cheeks, feeling how red hot they are. Glaring at the countertop. “I’m embarrassed!” But it’s just Eddie. It was just Eddie.
Eddie comes over, slowly draping himself over Steve’s back. “Nothin' to be embarrassed about, love.” And Eddie leaves soft kisses on Steve’s neck, squeezes his waist. “You looked cute on the couch like that. Like it when you’re happy.” Steve tries taking another deep breath but it shudders. 
Embarrassed, angry, sad. Embarrassed, confused, angry. Frustrated, embarrassed. Tired. 
Emotions wash over him. He’s learning to try and just feel them, name them, pick them apart. Some bubble back up to the surface, some only needed to be seen once. 
Steve turns to bury his face in Eddie’s neck. He sighs, rubs his face into Eddie’s warm skin. shaking his head, likes how his lips feel moving against edie’s soft parts. 
Tired, hungry, embarrassed, hungry. 
“’M tired. I dunno what to eat.” He whispers, and then because he said it it’s like there’s space in his brain. “Want pasta.” 
“Pasta it is then. And then we can sleep, yeah?” Eddie rocks them gently side to side, kisses the side of his head and slips away. Goes to get the box from the pantry, puts the corn back. Steve gets a pot out of the cupboard. 
Staring into the water, the tips of his fingers prickle. Steve fizzes with energy and emotion. All pent up and annoying him. Needs it out. He clicks the flame on.  
He starts pacing around the kitchen island. In big striding, stomping steps. “Ugh! You think I’m weird. Some weird guy who acts weird and does weird shit.” Steve grumbles. Annoyed. He smacks his palm quick and hard against the counter top. Keeps stomping. 
Eddie comes back and starts following. Stomping and prancing like some court jester. “I like that you’re weird! You know, I have one episode of the Twilight Zone taped. It’s my third one. I watched the other two so much the tapes broke.’ Steve lets a little shout slip from him “Ha!” bubbly and forceful. Dislodging something within him. Like when a tooth finally falls out. 
Feels good. 
“I only like one brand of spaghetti hoops. Wayne once bought me a multipack for Christmas. Best fucking gift I ever got.” and Steve’s laughing now. Giggling and manic and still stomping around the island.
“I like how it feels to brush my teeth. I’ve never had a filling. I fucking love brushing my teeth, Eddie.” and that makes Eddie laugh now too. Two freaks stomping around the kitchen. A king and his jester, lit up by moonlight. 
Steve turns the corner and stops short, still giggling. Eddies bent at one knee, presenting the box of pasta to him. “My liege.” 
Steve claps, hums, high and keening. The waters boiling. 
-
“How’d you feel now?’ Eddie asks around a mouthful of cheesy pasta. 
Steve curls up tighter into the corner of couch, wraps both hands around the warm bowl. Glances at Eddie across from him. “Still kinda embarrassed.”
Eddie looks so soft, so kind, across from him. “I’m embarrassed too, to be honest. You love that movie, I thought you’d like me doing that. Kinda like when we, when we kissed upside-down, like I was Spider-man” Eddies sentence get quieter towards the end, mumbly, spoked into his bowl, cheeks dusted pink.
Steve strains to hear him. Smiles once he puts the words together. 
He shovels pasta in his mouth. Eyes closed. “You are so annoying Eddie Munson. Why’d you even come here tonight, you coulda gone anywhere.” Steve sinks further into the couch, it’s really good pasta.
“Missed you.” Eddie says it like it’s simple, easy, and warmth drips over Steve’s skin. 
Eddie clears his throat, Steve feels him fidget. “Wanna maybe.. You think we could live together one day? Want you to be able to do whatever you want with me around Steve. Breakfast Club on all the time at our place, kay?” And Steve’s throat constricts, that’s a big change, living with someone, moving out. But maybe with Eddie it could be okay, if they did it together, slow. 
“Yeah, kay. One day.” Softly, bit by bit. Little bits. Steve can get there. Let Eddie in, let Eddie see. “But no to Breakfast Club on all the time.” Because some times, some days, some things, are just for him. Steve needs it that way. And that’s okay. 
He stretches out further on the couch, feeling syrupy and nice, easy smile playing at his lips. “I like it when you kiss my neck though, you can do that again.” And that makes Eddie grin all pointy, put their bowls to the side and crawl over him. 
Steve’s toes curl and he hums, high and happy. 
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
tagging those who asked mwah! @2jug2head @lil-gremlin-things
but also people who i think might be interested (sorry if ur not lmk and i won't again) @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @pearynice @steventhusiast @sugarcookiesteve @spectrum-spectre @irethsune
380 notes · View notes
imfinereallyy · 1 year
Text
Steve getting Venca’d is a plot line I thoroughly enjoy, but I feel like there is a path I haven’t really seen taken yet. Like, I’ve seen canon divergence where he gets vecna’d instead of Max, or he takes Max’s place, or I’ve seen it written as a season five (with Eddie back, of course), but hear me out, hear me out…
What if Steve starts the symptoms of Vecna (kind of like Vecna’s backup plan), but Steve never gets used? Like, they do their original plan in season four. Steve doesn’t really notice his symptoms until it’s too late; they are already in deep with spring break. Steve thinks about volunteering in Max’s place, but he knows if he says something, then the party has two people to worry about, and he knows Max would be too stubborn to change the plan. So he proceeds on. They go forth with the plan (Steve gets some horrible visions throughout spring break but manages to keep it to himself. Eddie notices something is off but is too focused on not dying to ask questions), and everything works out kind of the same as before except they win and everyone makes it (Eddie and max are still messed up, close to death but they make it).
After a few weeks (months probably), everyone is starting to heal and move on, but Steve just can’t. He’s still really messed up from his visions. The way they manipulated his trauma (about his parents, about being valued only with sex and money, Nancy, the kids, and his sexuality). It haunts him every day. He didn’t die like the other teens. He didn’t get to confront it like Max. Steve is just stuck in this mental hell and doesn’t know how to move on. Doesn’t know who to talk to. If he even should talk to anyone.
At this point, I feel like Eddie and Robin would notice him slipping. Robin is his platonic soulmate, his capital P, she may be frazzled, but she would most definitely notice when her best friend is not himself. Robin gives him space at first, but she can tell it’s only getting worse and decides it’s time to do something.
And Eddie, despite how much his past self would beat him over the head for it, likes Steve. He’s a good guy. Saves Eddie’s ass more times than he can count, even after the whole Upside Down thing. He likes to spend time with Steve; actually, almost all his time that isn’t spent with the kids and Wayne he spends with Steve, so of course, he notices Steve wasting away. Eddie noticed that Steve only really perks up when everyone is together in one place (Also, Eddie only has like slight romantic feelings for him at this point; his motivations at first are purely innocent, but as time moves on, he starts to fall for Steve and vice versa). So Eddie decides to spend more time with him one on one. Give him a safe space.
I’m not really sure how the rest of the plot would go. The party definitely gets involved, but they don’t notice for a while and make it worse at times (they are kids, after all), and the adults do their part too. I also think it’s an opportunity to talk about everyone’s unresolved trauma, like it doesn’t all go away magically after the defeat of the big bad. I think Steve having unresolved vecna visions is a perfect example of that.
Give Steve the breakdown he deserves and the support he clearly needs. And, of course, make it Steddie.
———
maybe I’ll write it, I’ve got so much to write, but maybe I’ll DO IT.
501 notes · View notes
matchayogitea · 1 year
Text
Holding your dreams as you lie to rest
Steve is a sweetheart and comforts Reader who has a bad relationship with food.
Warning: this deals with eating disorders, please don't read it if it might upset or trigger you.
Tumblr media
It had been a long night and you were exhausted.
You and Steve had spent some time with the kids - they had insisted on having the two of you over to watch a movie - and there had only been junk food in the house. Popcorn probably had been healthy for a minute, until Dustin and Lucas had slathered it in salt and butter.
Needless to say, you felt guilty as hell for eating chips and ice cream and as soon as Steve had taken you home you had wished, for the first time in your relationship, that he'd leave straight away.
But he had asked if he could stay a while. It wasn't late and your parents knew him, so it wouldn't come as a shock if he hang out a bit. 
There was something you needed to do, though. 
"Make yourself comfortable, I'm just going... to the bathroom for a sec," you told him, handing him the remote control and practically running upstairs. 
When you came back, he eyed you in an odd way. "Are you alright, Y/N?"
"I am. What are you watching?" you sat beside him on the sofa, feeling a bit better and ready to enjoy the rest of the night.
Steve, though, didn't look happy. "Did you..." He seemed unsure and you bit your lip nervously, hoping he wouldn't ask.
But he did.
"Did you make yourself throw up?"
His eyes, so warm and loving, looked sad, worried. And you knew you couldn't lie to him. It was so hard to admit it out loud, though, and you only nodded.
"I... I'm sorry, Steve. I know I told you I was better... I was doing much better, it wasn't a lie, but tonight was just..." you trailed off, lowering your gaze, feeling ashamed. You felt horrible. You felt like a failure.
"Hey, Y/N, look at me. Look at me, it's ok, I'm not judging you or blaming you, alright?"
Steve gently placed his warm, comforting hands on your cheeks, stroking your face softly, and you felt even worse. You tried with all your might to keep it together, because you were so ready to start crying. 
"Come here, Y/N..." He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. "It's ok. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby..."
"What are you sorry for?" you mumbled, head buried in his shoulder. "I'm the one who should say sorry-"
"No, you don't have to. I'm sorry that healing is so hard, I wish I could do more to help you, I really do." he whispered, stroking your hair and placing gentle kisses on top of your head.
"Steve..." you felt so loved, and yet, you knew he couldn't heal you. He could help, but he couldn't magically make things better. "You're already doing so much..."
"I wish I could fix everything. I wish you didn't have to feel this way. You are wonderful, you are perfect and I love you, you know that?"
You couldn't believe someone like Steve could seriously have those feelings for you. It was hard to believe him, but you trusted him, and you knew he wouldn't lie. "I love you more," you whispered, parting from him slightly so you could look up into his eyes. There was pure adoration there, and you knew that Steve was there for you no matter what, and always would be.
The two of you spent the rest of the evening watching TV absent-mindedly and cuddling, until Steve mentioned it was getting late and he should go home.
You didn't want him to leave. Your parents were upstairs, anyway, and it wasn't a school night so you wouldn't get in trouble for staying up longer than usual.
"Can you stay a bit longer?" You asked softly, raising your head from his shoulder to look into his eyes. They were so gentle, you could get lost in them forever.
Steve moved to face you and placed a soft kiss on your lips. "I guess a bit longer won't hurt. Too bad your parents are home, though..." he winked suggestively.
You laughed and pretended to push him away, then resumed your position from before, snuggling up against him.
You didn't notice you were starting to drift off.
Steve didn't dare to move.
He really had to leave, it was almost two in the morning and he was pretty sure your parents wouldn't appreciate him staying that late (his parents, on the other hand, probably hadn't even realized he wasn't home).
You looked so peaceful, though, so angelic, asleep against him. He hoped you were having a nice dream, getting some respite from reality. You didn't deserve to have such a disordered relationship with food and he hated it. Not that anybody deserves it, he thought, but especially you. He would do anything to help you and he usually was very careful when you two planned out dates - he asked you where you wanted to eat, if you wanted to eat out; he would offer to eat at his place so you could have something not too greasy, not too heavy, and not feel forced to eat junk food at diners in front of everyone else. 
But that night he hadn't thought too much about the food surrounding the movie, figuring it wouldn't be a big deal because you were doing better - you had told him the week before. 
And he was annoyed with himself. But he swore he would be more attentive.
I'd give it all just to make you mine And if you need a minute Honey, I'll give you all my time, all the time
"I will always be here for you, Y/N," he whispered, placing a kiss on your hair. You shifted slightly in your sleep and he thought he could detect a hint of a smile.
I'll put your dreams to sleep With rattling bones So, don't go to sleep, don't rest your head I'll be the pillow, and I'll be the bed Holding your dreams as you lie to rest
He felt his eyelids get heavy and knew he couldn't stay awake much longer. Consequences be damned, he thought, and fell asleep holding you, warm and cozy in your embrace.
Lyrics are from song Evangeline by Stephen Sanchez. I recommend you give it a listen, it's really beautiful and he's SO talented.
146 notes · View notes