#and ON TOP OF THAT my activity feed is just. insane.

[covenofthearticulate]

girl, today is a DAY

[kidsinsaturn]

Hii, since your requests are open, may I request Shisui headcanons with a short reader? Perhaps NSFW since we all know this man has a raging size kink, and if it's not too much also fluffy and soft ones too.

Absolutely adore your work and I'm really happy you're back <3.

Hope you have a nice day <3

shisui with a short s/o

[🗼] SHISWEEEE <333

characters: shisui uchiha

genre: sfw; nsfw

warnings: g!reader; insane size kink;

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-omg shisui with a short significant other?? where have I heard that?? so unlike him...

-NOO but shisui please he is so dumb I love him. he would definitely have a thing for a s/o shorter than him. it is kind of common since he is tall with his beautiful 6ft, and curly hair, and nice shoulders, and charming smile ohh

-he is so naughty I love him. he knows he is no ugly by any means. you definitely fell for him for his charisma, but he knows you don't forget about his physique. he just likes someone who is as insane about size as him okayyy let him be normal

-either you mention it or shisui finds out about your little liking over his size and height. if you mention it, he is so flustered!! like!! he thinks you are too much. he tells you how much he loves towering you--while towering you of course, shisui provides visual demonstration--, how your shoulders bump into his chest and biceps when walking, how he often finds himself imagining you in his much larger clothes

-and if you don't say anything and let shisui find out, he is very subtle and indirect with his actions and comments until he drives you crazy

-ok enough scenarios lets go to the real headcanons. AHH SHISUI would compare your handsss, hands down it just drives him insane seeing your much smaller hands been dwarfed by his much larger one

-like I mentioned, he would often play images of you with his clothes. probably the first time that happened, his sharingan activated mindlessly, so the picture is there for ever. it has now become a habit and everytime you wear something of his, he just records you with his demonic red eyes

-in a modern au, shisui would insist SO MUCH in taking those pictures where the height difference is so noticeable. like in front of the mirror, him taking from above, his arm embracing you ahh im so delusional

-a very deep part of him wishes you don't use such baggy clothes. he enjoys seeing your figure defined just to feed more into his embarrassing size kink. like if you were short and slim, please just wear tank tops

-shisui is always comparing your body to his smh your hands, your heads, your wrists, your legs, your feet, your ears, one time he wanted to ask about the length of your front tooth just to see if his teeth were larger than yours omfg

-even though he deeply enjoys being the little spoon and gets eepy when you enclose your arms around him, he loves the feeling of being the big spoon. having the feeling that he is protecting you solely with his body since he is covering your almost fully

-slightly weird headcanon, but every time shisui hears you saying your height for whatever reason, he feels a subtle tug on his chest

nsfw ->

-GIRRLLL the best thing that can happen to shisui is getting a partner with the same level of insanity about size kink as himmmm

-shisui is a little freak in the bed but he will not show it until he is sure you are just as freak as he is. he would feel out of place or even as if he is doing something that you don't like

-but like a s/o that knows about this raging size kink gooood. tease him please. every time you suck his pretty dick, your lips are plumped from the intense sucking, your throat is sore for his head hitting the back of it. if you cry while giving him head, he cries too

-just say kinky shit like "oh shisui, I can't continue sucking you, you are so big you're too much!" or when stroking him, "are you aware I need both my hands to hold your cock?" he is devastated

-his favorite position of all time will always be missionary. yeah he makes you feel good and you can almost feel his cock all the way up your chest whatever, but shisui just enjoys the viewww

-the way his body totally towers over yours is just so erotic to him!! he stays in that position even if his limbs start to feel numb. he also gets to roam his large hands around your abdomen, the feeling making your toes curl, enjoying the weight and the pressure he is applying to your body

-PLEASE AUGH you just know every time you two make out, shisui gets a boner ofcrouse<3 but he just cannot end your kisses without rubbing his stupid dick against your belly ammmm

-he is so naughty and know exactly what he is doing. he would not let an opportunity pass if it means stroking his prominent and throbbing cock against any part of your body. your ass, your back, even against your arms omg stop.

-shisui is just so sexually aroused when he thinks too much about your size difference. he just can't wait to have you below him, his cock, thick as hell, pumping in and out of your small hole. he can't help but stare at how it stretches so well against his cock

-he is no fool and is well aware of his own attributes. he knows his cock is above average thickness and your hole being just smaller than average ammmm makes him go nuts

-any positions where he can corner you and have full access to any part of your body he is down for it. shisui starts slow, watching your every move, as subtle as it can be, with his red eyes; but he always ends up holding you tight, almost embracing you. his face close to your neck letting soft moans, his hands keeping you in place. he is just so broad, you need not to worry about anything else, he is taking care of you

-just cling onto him. him sensing you losing your strength to support your own weight is just so amazing. he is so strong so even if you're doing it standing up, he will hold you for dear life

-and let's not forget about the small bump on your lower belly moving at the same rhythm shisui is moving. his cock thick and deep inside enough to make that bulge. that is a sight. he will go crazy and even comment about it: "do you really feel my head all the way there?" while stroking a finger around where his tip would be

[toxicnick]

Rhys (pronounced: rise) was originally made to be a Bad Sans, part of Nightmare's gang, but I winded up changing things around when I remade his newest design.

Rhys' au is erased, it was attacked and destroyed by a group of skeletons. He doesn't know who, he couldn't make out their faces in time of the chaos. He managed to be the only one in his au to make it out alive, but due to now being au-less, he wanders in the void.

He has never met any of the other Sanses, but if he were to meet one, it would most likely be Error or Ink first, due to being in the void.

- - Rhys, lowkey is hoping someone would find him, recreate his au, or give him a new one that's already existent. A place to call home. He misses his friends, he's alone now.

Back in Rhys' au, before it got destroyed, before it was erased... something was lurking in his au, it was draining everyone's energy. Rhys found out the hard way what it was.

It's the reason Rhys' skull is cracked.

A strange smell filled the au, and no one knew where it was coming from, so people of course went out to look. Rhys was one of those people, and unfortunately for him, he found what it was.

A parasite was roaming freely, hiding in the shadows. It brought around a nasty smell wherever it went and was feeding off the peoples energy.

When Rhys found the parasite, he was attacked by it, and the parasite cracked a hole into Rhys' skull. It crawled into his skull, in his head, and rested there. It's eating slowly away at the inside of his skull, and the crack is slowly getting bigger.

Rhys refuses to eat, or claims he isn't hungry, because it'll just power the parasite even more. But, by doing this, he is weakening himself. If the parasite isn't removed and killed, he will die. Rhys cannot do it himself, he needs help from someone, and it requires magic to do which he lacks.

When it comes to magical power, the only thing Rhys can do is summon bones and move things with telekinesis. He isn't considered over powered in any sense, in fact he's really weak. He would be easy to take down if it wasn't for the fact that he was smart, and can dodge insanely well. When it comes to battle, Rhys just has to pray the other will eventually get tired.

Over time, Rhys began getting red marks over his body, probably from the parasite as he never had the spots before. If the parasite gets stronger, eventually Rhys' body will turn fully red.

Once the parasite is in control, Rhys will be considered "corrupt." With a red skeletal frame, and a thirst to destroy anything in sight. He is hoping he will be saved before this happens, as in the end, it'll be too late to save his soul. He'd have to be killed.

Rhys would do ANYTHING to remove the parasite. He would hurt someone if it meant he could be free of it. Even if he had to pass the parasite on to another, he would. It's hurting him too much, and he can't bare the pain. Rhys tries to ignore it, but whenever the parasite isn't sleeping and it's moving or feeding, it's nothing but pain.

- he would feel bad for the other if he ever passed it on to someone else, but if he could, he would.

Some basic information ;

- Rhys goes by he/him, he is bisexual with a strong male preference.

(NSFW:) In any sort of "sexual" take, he is a switch and is more than likely to lean to the opposite of what his partner prefers. (As in if his partner is a top, he will bottom, and vice versa).

Rhys' favorite color is red, while his magic is orange and yellow. -- when his power is activated, it could have slight pink and purple highlights.

Rhys' ribcage has red marks on it, too, just like his face and hands. Where a humans heart would be is a red mark shaped as a heart, a little deformed but still a heart.

- - - - - - -

I'm fine if anyones oc wants to save him!, I'll wind up adding it to the lore though, meaning if it happens-- you're my friend. That's it. You cannot ignore me I will STAB YOU EIWOEKW RAHHHH, /j

Anyway,, mwa mwa!

[mackenzielovee]

parenthood blurb: february plans (pt. 1)

a/n: happy sunday! this blurb is very ambivalence-detail heavy, but i hope you enjoy it!! as always, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 have a great week, besties!

i also wrote it in rafe's perspective bc you guys always ask for that so lmk if you like it!

warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, kissing

ambivalence masterlist , parenthood masterlist

     Rafe’s not sure exactly what it is about tonight that has him desperate for your touch. 

Thursday night dinners with your parents — although more inconsistent because of kids’ activities and life — still happen on occasion, and Rafe still sits beside you. Josie takes over Sarah’s seat and Connor takes over Wheezie’s. Scott’s has been sitting empty for a while, but nobody acknowledges that. 

Tonight, Topper and Ellie accepted their invite to join, and Rafe couldn’t be happier. It means everyone’s focus is less on him, and his focus can be more on you. 

He starts with a simple arm around the back of your chair once everyone gets their plates in order; stroking your shoulder with his fingertips. When you lean into his touch, he doesn’t even try to hide his smirk, and he wonders if you feel as needy as he does. 

After a few minutes, he removes his arm. He watches subtly as you frown but try not to let it show, then take a few more bites of your dinner. Just as you reach for your wine — which you can now drink freely at the table — he reaches over and sets his large, warm palm on your thigh. 

“Rafe,” you hiss quietly, and just the sound of his name on your lips is enough to drive him crazy. 

“Hmm?” he hums innocently, watching as you glance over at the kids and check on them before looking back at him. 

“What are you doing?”

Numerous responses run through his mind. He could tell you the truth — that you drive him insane everyday, but especially when you’re wearing a cute little dress that looks so familiar and he can smell your perfume because you’re so close. He could tell you that he has no idea what you’re talking about — he’s just subconsciously putting his hands on you. Instead, he grins. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispers, “I’ve seen this dress before.”

He notices the way you bite down on the inside of your bottom lip. Your eyes turn softer, and the way you look at him through your lashes has something deep inside him stirring around. Gently, you reach over and wrap your hand around his forearm, making him smile. 

“Yes, you have.”

A smirk teases Rafe’s lips, “Remind me.”

Immediately, you grow shy. Rafe loves when it happens because it’s not often anymore that he can make you like this, but when he does, his chest swells. He watches as you squeeze his forearm slightly, signaling that you don’t want to talk about it here. 

To retaliate, he slides his palm just a little further up your thigh, where he pushes back the fabric of your dress slightly. Your eyes widen and you try halfheartedly to push his hand back down, but he doesn’t budge. 

He smirks at the way you don’t really try to push him off, because you secretly love the way he touches you. He’s prideful, and he doesn’t care about getting caught. 

“I’ll think about it,” he says smugly, leaning in closer, “Because, baby, you look absolutely gorgeous.”

You squirm under the praise, “Thank you.”

“Mhm,” he hums, leaving a kiss on your temple before he pulls back, still staring proudly at you. 

“Rafe, did you hear what I said?”

Rafe’s eyes shift over to Topper, who is eating his meal on breaks between feeding Ellie. His eyes narrow at his best friend, and Rafe’s grip tightens around your thigh when he feels you tense. 

“No, Top, I was talking to my wife,” Rafe says, as if it’s obvious, “Sorry. Tell me again.”

Topper, Rafe, and your father all enter into football talk while your mother gushes over Connor and asks him how he likes his school, leaving you to try and eat your food with Rafe’s hands on you. 

Rafe, on the other hand, knows he’s so much better than you when it comes to having a poker face. You wear every emotion right on your face, whereas he could be sliding his fingers inside your panties right now and nobody would ever know. 

When his hand slides higher, you squeeze your thighs together. Rafe lets out a chuckle at that, earning a furrow of the brows from Topper. He feels you squeeze his forearm again in warning, but he ignores it, so you do your best to cover his hand with your dress. He grins, not caring about Topper’s rant about the NFL being rigged. 

While expertly nodding along, Rafe racks his brain to try and figure out when and where he’s seen this dress before. It’s too casual for Midsummers. Your anniversary was a blue dress. Your birthday was black pants and that very sexy red top—

“Don’t you think, Rafe?”

Rafe’s eyes dart to your father, who is lifting a fork full of food up to his mouth. He knows he has no choice but to bluff, so he does. 

“Absolutely,” Rafe nods, “They’ve got a horrible defense.”

Your father tosses his hands up, chewing before he looks at Topper, “That’s what I keep telling him!”

You can’t help but laugh, and Rafe knows why. He knows that you know he was bluffing. In another bit of retaliation, Rafe slides his hand further, then skims his fingertips across your skin. 

“Stop it,” you whisper, pushing his arm back down. 

“No,” he whispers back, “I’m trying to figure out about this dress. I know I’ve seen it bef—”

He stops in the middle of the word; hand freezing on your thigh and eyes locking on yours. He realizes right then exactly where he’s seen this dress before, and he feels himself grow warmer at the recollection. 

He takes his sweet time looking over you — savoring you in a different way than he had been before. You’re wrapped up like a present for him. The best one he will ever receive, and he knows it, too. His heart aches as he recalls the memory associated with this dress, the dreams he had, and the desire he had that night to innocently slip his hand underneath — the same way he is right now. 

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, “This is the dress you were wearing when we had our first kiss.”

He watches you nod sweetly, biting down hard on your bottom lip so as to not give away too much of your smile. 

“Yeah,” you murmur, “It’s a little more snug than it was back then, but—”

“It’s perfect,” he stops you, wanting to add a thousand more adjectives to the end of that, “You couldn’t look more beautiful in it.”

“Thank you,” you say with a smile. 

He beams and lets your warm skin against his palm draw him back to where exactly he wants to be. His index finger slides up past your hip bone, and he listens as you inhale sharply as he loops it through the band of your thong. 

Smirking widely, Rafe leans closer, “Finish your dinner, baby. Your food’s gonna get cold.”

“Your fault,” you mumble. 

Rafe laughs, then playfully squeezes your leg once more. Quickly, he scans the room to ensure that nobody is watching, because he knows that would embarrass you if anyone knew. Thankfully, everyone is too wrapped up in their own plates to notice a thing. 

“What made you wear that tonight?” he asks.

You shrug, “Found it in my closet.”

“Oh, and you just felt like teasing me, huh?” he grins, “Whatever you want, you can have it.”

He watches the smile break out across your face, and suddenly, everything else melts away from him. It’s just you, it always has been, and the rest of it is simply noise to him. 

“Well, there is one thing,” you tease. 

His heart lurches at the sight of you pursing your lips before you ask for it, and Rafe is desperate to tell you that it’s already yours. 

“Yes,” he says in a deep voice, clearing his throat as you lean closer. 

“Will you have a glass of wine with me out by the pool after dinner?”

He swallows and keeps his lips pressed tight, not wanting to let out the whimper that threatens to leave him at the sight of you wanting, needing, begging for his company. 

The thought of reliving that experience — of sitting outside with his knee grazing yours as he sips wine and tries to think of something equally clever and cool to say, makes him feel dizzy. In the best way possible.

“Sweetheart, I would love that,” he replies, “You grab glasses and a bottle while I clean up.”

“Okay,” you smile. 

He takes a deep breath, then runs his index finger over the loop he’d created with your panties. Casually, he tucks the one finger inside, through your folds, feeling how much his teasing has truly gotten to you. 

He laughs to himself, looking smug and prideful as ever. You nudge him with your shoulder, then playfully swat at his hand. Reluctantly, Rafe extracts his hand and drags it back down to the middle of your thigh, then kisses your temple once more. 

“Daddy, look!” Josie exclaims, earning both of your attention, “I’ve been tryin’ to show you how I ate all my vegetables.”

“Yeah, Rafe,” Topper smirks, “She’s been trying to show you.”

Rafe narrows his eyes at Topper, ignoring the way you exhale out a laugh. 

“Sorry, princess. I’m so proud of you for eating your vegetables. Want more?”

“No,” she says immediately, “Connor needs to eat his.”

Connor looks over at Rafe and gives him a wide smile before stabbing a green bean with his fork and popping it into his mouth. 

“He will, Jo,” Rafe assures her, “So will Mommy.”

You nudge his shoulder again, “Mind your business, Cameron.”

“You are my business, Cameron.”

     Rafe rushes through cleaning, only half-listening to your father’s rambles about referees and how they can make or break the game. As soon as they finish, he dries his hands and quickly asks your mom to watch the kids for a bit, then hurries out onto the patio. 

He freezes in his tracks when he gets to the screen door. You’re sitting the way you always did; legs dangling in the water with a wine bottle beside you. Wearing the same dress you had on when you kissed him. 

And now, he realizes, you’re waiting on him. Everything hits him all over again — the way it does on occasion when he catches you doing something for him. The first time you left a note in the lunch you packed for him, he got no work done for the rest of the day. When Kelce borrowed his truck and returned it looking less than pristine on the outside, you took it and got it washed and vacuumed before he even saw it, then added a picture of the two of you on his dash. The first time he saw the picture, he came back inside, and was subsequently late to work.

Now, it hits him as he sees you waiting on him in the same spot that he’d managed to put himself on your radar. He remembers just how much he wanted you to look his way, how he wanted you to be happy, and how he vowed to himself when you agreed to marry him that he would make sure that was the case. 

He waited on you for years, and the sight of you waiting on him, now, makes his heart beat a little faster. 

“You gonna stare all night, or come join?”

You don’t even look back. He grins so hard that he swears his muscles start to ache, and without even a moment’s worth of hesitation, he hurries out of the patio and over to you. 

“Can’t help myself,” he admits, “What did you expect, anyway? Putting this dress on and teasing the shit out of me at the table.”

You laugh and hand him a glass, then pick up your own. Rafe makes sure to brush his fingers against your own, then tucks his arm around you. His legs drop into the pool beside yours, and you place your head on his shoulder. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” you say shyly. 

Rafe’s heart plummets in his chest. What does that mean? Why is she saying that? 

He starts to grip the wine glass too tight, and uses his one arm around you to center himself. He swallows, then takes a long sip of wine to ease whatever blow you’re about to administer. 

“And?” he asks roughly. 

You snicker, then turn and place your chin on his shoulder. He relaxes slightly, sure that if you were about to tell him something major, you wouldn’t be behaving this way. 

“Relax,” you whisper, leaning forward and pressing a long kiss to his jaw, “It’s nothing bad. I mean, nothing bad to me, I guess, I just… I’ve been thinking about what Kelce said to me a few weeks ago. How everyone thinks we’re perfect together.”

Rafe’s brows furrow, “You don’t think we are?”

His heart beats faster in his chest, but he tries to calm himself. Not react too quickly. You need time to articulate your thoughts, and he knows it. He watches as you shake your head, looking annoyed at yourself for not expressing yourself the right way. 

“I don’t think we’re perfect,” you say, “But, nobody is. We work at our relationship and, yeah, we’re probably better at that than most, but still.”

Rafe nods, “Yeah, you’re right. Did it bother you? What Kelce said?”

“I mean, yeah,” you shrug it off, “For a little while. Then, I started telling myself that we’ve been through so much together, and the only people our relationship has to make sense to is us.”

Rafe’s lips tip up, and he subtly scoots his leg closer to yours. He’s sure you’ll think it was an accident, but it wasn’t. It never is. 

“Makes perfect sense to me,” he teases.

When you laugh, Rafe feels everything settle in his chest. He no longer feels that sense of anxiety or fear, and instead, he reaches for your hand. Your fingers lace together the same way they have a million times, and it dawns on Rafe that this is the first place he ever held your hand, too. So many of your firsts have been out here, and the memory brings a warm feeling to his stomach. 

“Do you remember our first kiss?” you ask quietly. 

Rafe fights back a groan, “How could I forget it?”

To him, the question seems silly. He could probably tell you every detail of that night if he wanted to, because it was the first night of many that he got exactly what he’d been dreaming of. 

You laugh, “Rafe, Wheezie caught us.”

Your tone elicits a chuckle from his lips before he can stop himself.

“Yeah, she did, huh?” he laughs, “Do you remember our second kiss?”

“Hmm?”

He grins, “You wore the sexiest outfit to Matt McCall’s party, and—”

“Shut up!” you exclaim, bumping your shoulder with his. 

He can’t help but laugh when you grow embarrassed, recalling the memory yourself. He squeezes your hand as he laughs, not allowing his eyes to leave you. 

“No,” he jokes, “I couldn’t keep my hands off of you. Especially because you told me that you wore it just for me, do you remember?”

“I remember,” you reply sheepishly, “I think that went to your head.”

“Oh, it definitely did,” he laughs.

You settle back in, inching closer to Rafe as you do it. He bites down on his cheek to contain his smile, then drains the rest of his wine. 

“Did you know Matt’s married now?” 

“No,” he shrugs, “Poor girl.”

“Ha ha,” you roll your eyes, listening to him chuckle as he squeezes your hand, then releases to pour you more wine, then himself, “Seriously. He got married to some girl he met at UNC. They’re big into traveling. I see it all the time on Instagram.”

Rafe snickers, “You follow Matt McCall on Instagram?” 

He looks up from his pour to find you with pursed lips, staring into the pool like you don’t want to confess the truth to him. He smiles widely, then hands your wine glass back. 

“I’m guilty of the occasional social media stalking,” you mumble, “But everyone does it! I’m sure you do, too.”

Rafe’s brain works fast, too fast, and he knows his response will be equal parts amusing and embarrassing. 

“Oh, yeah. I just went through Brady’s Instagram for the fourth time this week. You know, your childhood crush. Your first love—”

“Stop it,” you groan, letting a laugh escape. 

Rafe just chuckles to himself, then takes your hand again once his glass is full. It’s almost as if he feels your emotions change from happy and playful to something different — something deeper. He feels it in the way you grip his hand, in the way you lay your head on his shoulder. He knows you want to be as close to him as he wants to be with you, and he’s perfectly okay with that. 

“Do you ever wish we got the chance to travel? Like Matt?” Rafe asks softly. 

“I don’t know,” you reply. 

He knows what this means. He knows that when you say you don’t know, it’s code for the fact that you know exactly what your answer is, but you’re too afraid to try and articulate your thoughts out of fear that it will be done incorrectly. So, knowing this, Rafe changes up his strategy. 

“Where would you want us to go? If we could go anywhere in the world.”

He feels you grin on his shoulder, and the grip on his hand grows just a little bit tighter. Bingo. 

“Well,” you say, sounding shy, “I know I should say something cool like Paris or Amsterdam, or whatever. But, I kind of have this vision of us in the mountains when it’s snowing. We’d rent a cabin and cook and drink a lot of wine. And, maybe we have a hot tub, and we could watch movies, and wear sweatpants the whole time, and just, you know, be together.”

Rafe nods, not wanting to give away how much that vision makes him happy. He can see it clear as day, and he can’t think of anything else that would even come close to heaven. He swallows down his own visions, his own plans, and keeps laying his groundwork. 

“That sounds nice,” he says evenly, “Where would you want this cabin to be?”

“They have nice ones in Colorado, I think. I’ve always heard about people going there.”

Rafe nods, remaining quiet as he works out a plan in his head. The occasion. The finances. The plane tickets. The requirements for the house — a hot tub, and he has to get you a balcony, because he knows you’ll want to look out at the snow while you drink coffee in the mornings. It would have to have a full kitchen so he could cook for you every night, and he needs time to plan out the meals and the grocery list. 

“That would be fun,” he chooses to say, then shifts and kisses the top of your head. 

“Yeah. It’s nice to think about,” you say, shrugging it off, “But, whatever. I love our life. Even if we don’t live like Matt McCall.”

“I love our life, too,” Rafe says quietly.

You shift from your position and lean up to plant a small kiss on his neck, which leaves Rafe preening for more. He’s not sure he could ever get enough. 

All at once, he notes how your mood seems to change. You smile playfully, like a thought has just popped into your head, and you scoot closer while you try — and fail — to keep your smirk at bay.

“You know who else I Instagram stalk?” you grin as Rafe’s head races with possibilities. 

“Who?”

“Sydney McCall.”

Rafe rolls his eyes and shakes his head, then pulls your entwined hands into his lap. You giggle and scoot closer, then take a large sip from your wine glass. 

“You’re hilarious,” he mutters sarcastically. 

“What?” you gasp, mocking him with your innocence, “You don’t check in on her from time to time?”

“Absolutely not,” Rafe snorts. 

“Mhm, okay,” you hum, finishing off your glass, before you look up at him with hazy eyes, “I’m sure you’re pining after her.”

He knows you’re just teasing, but his chest contracts at the thought. At the mere idea of ever pining after anyone else besides you. It just doesn’t seem possible to him. When he sees the way you bite down on your lip, clearly just wanting a reaction from him, he relaxes and pulls you closer to him. 

“Next time you say something like that, I’m gonna bite that lip for you,” he mutters. 

You laugh, which brings a smile to his face, too. Silently, he raises a brow to see if you want more wine, which you answer in a nod. He pours it into your glass and you settle right back into him without hesitation — a far cry from all those years ago when every touch was meticulously planned and Rafe went home desperate to get his hands on you again. 

“Rafe?”

He’ll never get used to hearing his name come from you, he swears. 

“Yeah?”

You hum contently, “I love hanging out with you.”

His chest swells with pride and he replays the words a few times to himself before he smiles and turns, kissing your forehead gently. 

“I love hanging out with you, too, sweetheart,” he whispers. 

He notes the level of your wine glass and the fact that you’ve already had one out here and one at the table. You’re tipsy, and he bites his tongue when he almost says something about it. 

“Can we make more time?” you ask, your eyes only half open and your words slightly slurred, “For us, I mean. Like, I know we hang out together after the kids go to bed, but we’re both so tired, and — this is what I want. Me and you, just talking and kissing. Do you want to kiss me?”

Rafe snorts. What kind of question is that? 

“Of course I want to kiss you, baby,” he practically groans.

He turns, expecting you to lean up and give him a quick peck before you start rambling again. Which is why, when you release his hand and pull your feet from the water, his eyes grow wide and he scoots back. 

He remembers this with you. He remembers how you would shyly hint that you wanted to make out with him, and he’d always give in because it was you, and he wasn’t willing to push his luck. He remembers the first time he ever let himself fully believe that he got you was in this exact position, with your lips on his neck, and your soft little gasps in his ear every time he touched your skin. 

You get settled on his lap, knees on either side of him, and wrap your arms around his neck. He grins the same way he did at eighteen, and he lets his hands rest on your thighs as he takes you in. 

“Hi,” you whisper, your drunken shyness doing something to his heart. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says back, “Come here.”

One of his hands travels up to your back, where he guides you into him. His other hand slips up your thigh, bunching your dress at your hip. He already predicts your moves, and he’s correct, when your right hand travels up into his hair, and your left starts to rub his back. 

The way you always run your fingers through his hair drives him crazy, but initially, the back rubbing had been discovered by you when Rafe was the intoxicated one. You had been picking him up from boys' night, and he kept stealing kisses from you as you stood in Kelce’s driveway, trying to get him into the car while talking to Maddie. Rafe kept trying to get back out to talk to Kelce, and to coax him into relaxing, you started rubbing his back. He relaxed instantly, and when you continued to do it as he kissed you, he wasn’t shy about letting you know that he enjoyed it. 

Knowing you want him to, Rafe takes control of the kiss and lets his tongue skim across your bottom lip. You grant him entry and giggle into his mouth when you feel his tongue against yours. His hand escapes under your dress and loops through your panties again, and you tug lightly on his hair in response. He groans at the feeling, wanting you to do it again, when you start moving your hips against his. 

“Baby,” he pants, breaking the kiss and steadying you in his lap, “Oh, God, please don’t do that to me right now.”

“Sorry,” you murmur, and the pout on your lips makes it even harder for Rafe to concentrate in this moment, “Just feels good.”

“I know,” he nods. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and smiles up at you, then leans up and pecks you again, “About what you said, though—”

“No,” you immediately stop him, scooting closer and cuddling into his chest, “I was being stupid. I’m busy. You’re busy. We don’t have time to be—”

“Every Wednesday, we should go out. Just me and you. We can talk gossip, and politics, and bore the shit out of each other. Sundays will be family days again. I know I’ve been playing golf a lot, but I’d rather be with you and the kids. And, every two or three months, I want us to plan a little trip. Just for the weekend. Be together in a hotel and find little coffee places you’ll love, and catch up on all the sex that gets interrupted by our crazy life. How does that sound?”

The pout on your lip grows as he speaks, and he knows he’s done something absolutely right. Without warning, you lean forward and start peppering little kisses all over his cheeks, lips, chin, and nose, which makes him laugh. 

When you pull back, you’re grinning widely, and he squeezes your hip playfully just to watch you giggle. 

“I fall more and more in love with you as the years go by, Rafe Cameron,” you say, laughing at your own cheesiness. 

He couldn’t be more honest in this moment, “I fall in love with you every single goddamn day.”

You grin and kiss him again, as if you just can’t help yourself. The wine glasses sit beside the two of you, completely forgotten. Just as Rafe ducks his head for another kiss from you, he hears the familiar sound of a baby cooing and his best friend’s voice. 

“I’m taking Ellie home, so the two of you have five seconds to get dressed if you want to say goodbye!”

*i no longer have a tag list. follow @mackupdates to see when i post new content!

[leveractionlesbian]

posted on Twitter so imma just post it here for my Tumblr audience. there will also be a cut so i don't clog half your feed

my unironic conspiracy theory is that most large corporations have realized that if they just smack their customers over the head over and over again with poor quality service and products, customers will just give up, and that products are actively being made worse on purpose

example: people are praising live service video games for not screwing them as hard as pure cash grabs, when a decade ago we were all screaming at the top of our lungs at the mere concept of a live service game that we have to pay for continuously

the average consumer, myself included, is not strong enough to resist years-long campaigns of sustained, intentional disappointment. and what can we do? the consumer legitimately holds no power, and the avenues to make your voice hears have been made extremely difficult

this isn't me longing for some bygone era where capitalism was awesome. we were always headed down this road. motives in this system are always profit-based, and profit is most easily made through dishonesty

it will get worse before it gets better, but i do believe things are getting better. i see people DIYing things a lot more often and avoiding paying for their hobbies. i see a lot of piracy. these are all good. companies will have to offer a good service or collapse

example: i play Warhammer. it was decently more affordable when i got into the hobby. now, i very rarely buy anything actually from GW, because their prices are insane and their FOMO marketing pisses me off. at least half my models are third party

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesdaypost year in review

this year brought to you by viewers like you. thank you! i still do not know how to thank everyone for their incredible generosity during the Late July/Early August Moving Catastrophe Badtimes and im still feelin some kinda way about it. thank you.

took eight weeks completely off, more than any other year so far

overnight traveled for work for the first time

moved cross country with Mack to face dangers untold and hardships unnumbered

bought an actual for-real couch and not a futon

got Phil

(unrelated to Phil) i got spayed after almost ten years of begging and pleading various medical professionals, (also unrelated) got covid and RSV back to back

listening

fallow weeks: 8. i almost always have a tuesdaysong bc i am almost always listening to something. all of the tuesdaysongs are here:

particular favorites were Peel Me A Grape (Anita O’Day), top spotify song of the year Yeah Yeah Yeah (Blood Orchid), Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Wolf remixed by Sextile, Father Finlee (Spence Hood), A Minha Menina (Os Mutantes).

the very last tuesdaysong of the year is Sugar Rum Cherry by Duke Ellington, one of the few christmas songs i tolerate.

special shoutout to the austin underscore walker universe of podcasts, bc i mainlined A More Civilized Age (clone wars/star wars rewatch) while packing, and devoured P/alisade (the newest scifi season of F/riends at the Table) this month.

-

reading

fallow weeks: 11. pleased that i am killing the invisible rules in my head and including more articles instead of feeling guilty about Not Reading A Real Book!!! every week when i sit down to write the tuesdaypost. read a fuckton earlier this year bc i was procrastinating moving prep, have not read much since i moved.

article sources:

inoreader (the best free RSS feed/app imo)

The Markup (gold standard usage of data to show how various technologies are being used to harm the public good: you may have heard of the recent American bills to equalize internet service and fix organ donation grift. that was them)

Web 3 Is Going Just Great (crypto disasters)

404 Media (technology reporting, internet culture, also break a lot of data/legal/privacy scandals)

Remap (formerly Vice's video games division Waypoint, more active on podcasts and twitch but do have great personal essays about gaming longreads)

Retraction Watch (an important academic service but platformed a particularly virulent transphobe and let the comments devolve into a free for all. yes im still mad about this)

Krebs on Security (~once a month extremely long and thoughtful infosec writeups)

Data Colada (cover academic data whoopsies, currently being sued for their journalism)

the two authors i spent the most time with this year were Alexis Hall (romance novels and novellas) and Raymond Chandler's noir detective novels. i read 90% of Raymond Chandler's work in march and went insane about yet another sad bisexual man. Philip Marlowe the cat is named after his pet detective, the human Philip Marlowe.

march was kind of a banger for this category bc in one of what i consider the best tuesdayposts this year, i tried to break down why i fucking hated Frank Miller's Sin City comics so much.

other comics, but ones i loved: Spy X Family, Berserk, weird noir DC miniseries The Human Target.

-

watching

fallow weeks: 10

notable stuff i watched for the first time (according to letterboxd) that will stick in my head for a bit. some (The Night of the Hunter) i am so glad i watched once but do not feel the need to revist. some (Slipstream) fascinate me with how good they could have been. some (Twilight. all of them) were fun bc of the people i watched them with. the two i went particularly deranged over are The Big Sleep and Day of Anger. still feel very normal about them.

very heavy on crime and courtroom films this year!

television: very excited for s2 of Blue Eye Samurai, Interview With The Vampire, Spy X Family.

i should loop back and finish Black Lagoon, Adventure Time (completely forgot i rewatched most of that this spring), and The Big O. that last one is throwing me a little bc (since i last checked) there is no freely available version with subtitles (i cannot find subtitles Period) and i'll be damned if i have to import a dvd. i can find the dub with subtitles but! i want to hear spike spiegel as mecha-batman :(

sort of lukewarm eh-i'll-get-around-to-it about s/tar wars shows. i have not watched a/hsoka At All or wrapped up the animated Resistance show. i'll pay attention when ando/r is airing again.

-

playing

fallow weeks: 10. way fewer than i would have guessed!

the trouble with this category is that it is exceptionally hard to find new good games (either ones i already own or ones that are free). it is almost completely prohibitively exhausting to trawl through the free category on steam. there's simply a lot of cruft out there. a very good thing (but also incredibly timeconsuming thing) i started this year was throwing games into various folders so the eight bajillion libraries i have are less overwhelming. i can safely ignore 80% of my epic games library, for example. the itch.io library is a whole separate weekend project i think.

got back into genshin for good or for ill, which took up most of the back half of the year.

go play ABZU. i am no longer asking.

i would like to go back and finish the RPG Gamedec, un-softblock myself in the RPG Weird West, and finish the visual novel Dead Man's Rest. i think i stalled out in Call of Juarez: Gunslinger bc there was a mexican standoff that my reflexes are simply not fast enough for/too much to pay attention to. i am excited to pick up that spooky fishing simulator DREDGE when i have fun money again.

completely forgot i spent most of jan/feb/march being annoyed at fallou/t 4 but having some fun in Far Harbor, also forgot i spent an entire month playing through Wolfenstein: The New Order but i am not compelled to play through it again. it was fun! but like many games after one playthrough my time with it is done!

-

making

fallow weeks: 17 (unsurprising, pretty low energy year as a whole as i recovered from covid rounds 1 and 2 and the frankly insane stress of moving).

wrote exactly one fic: some matters at the heart of cowboy western snap shirts: why they are so and some of the implications of their being so, i would like to write more next year but i don't really have the brainpower. i hope this changes soon.

the baby blanket i started last year is still not done but the baby is still under a year so i have a very narrow window of time.

dyed some couch covers im still very pleased with

wrote an extremely long but very well received gallery wall guide

recipes: 12. sort of shocked by this? i am becoming an incrementally better cook and slowly finding recipes i both like and can successfully execute. found the fortitude to caramelize onions, for example. quick pickled red onions, for another thing. big year for protein or greens on top of beans and rice. faves included: cuban-style pork shoulder, hellofresh peruvian chicken, red lentil soup, white bean/kale/rice bowls

i would like to be less terrified about cooking fish. i would like to eat more fish.

and of course, the biggest project of all, acquired Phil. here is my very favorite photo ive ever taken of a cat

[39oa]

Roope/Robo for the ship ask

A MOST BELOVED DOCUMENT. (sry anon for this insane reply pls feel free to stop reading after this first paragraph ahlsdfkh) basically 2124 are my favorite stars ship even though it's generally difficult to articulate what makes them so intriguing, but i also think that That in itself is why i enjoy them so much haha. imo the more subtle and unsurfaced and laborious to construct narratives for the better!

i spend possibly too much time contemplating robo's character and i know that we (or i guess i...) often talk about his Just A Guyisms, which i do believe are an effective assessment of his general demeanor but alsoooo 2124 is just so rifeeee with introspective potential that it krills me every single time i think about it. as @kitnita perfectly put it in this post getting to "work backwards from pre-existing intimacy" is what makes them so much fun, because they have arguably nothing that connects them off-ice and yet demonstrate an almost automatic complementary style on-ice. and the fact is that unlike pavs and robo who play within a similarly restrictive framework, the entire ethos of how 2124 play together is that roope's strengths lie in the negative space of robo's, and it's not so much just the inherent beauty of Your Line Is The Only One I've Ever Known (places hand on chest. this is of course a large part of it as well!) but really actionably that robo plays in such a tactical fashion that allows him to effectively activate roope's motor. and i think roope is the kind of guy who sees that and is like... This is what binds us together 4 life. and it's really like... the ultimate marriage of skillsets which is also what makes the way they eschew any journalistic effusiveness (esp roop although obviously part of that is language-barrier related) so fascinating. like top line hold themselves to an extremely high standard and i think robo is extremeelyyyy aware of the weight of his responsibility as a goal scorer, but they're also both reticent about overcommunicating the importance of their "chemistry" to the media and i feel like that makes it... even more delicious???

i don't know if any of this makes sense but tl;dr To Me the ultimate romance is when two people play beautiful hockey together :) and in my head i also like to live in a world where that's roope's biggest philosophy as well. like roope talks about his connectivity to the home crowd and how he feeds off that energy and although it's not like... necessarily evident, i love characterizing 2124 as basically: despite roope being the most complete player on the team and appearing more mysterious or withdrawn compared to robo's pr capabilities, robo is very much the one who hyperfocuses on singular, self-reflective assessments while roope is more inclined to contemplate his chemistry with robo. and i love seeing it as the Roope_Confessional being "i know that I Don't Need You to play good hockey but it's always better when you're here so why would i want to change any of that?" whereas idk whether robo is prone to the same sentimentalism. and that's what makes them fascinatingggg! like all these weird little unexpected nuanced reversals to Roope being obviously the "cooler" and fashionable one, but also frankly the sort of cringe diehard loyalist "soulbonded to the spirit of the aac" guy whose greatest joy is Buying Miro New Clothes, who cares in very bleeding-heart understated ways etc. all of that really lends dimension to their dynamic despite robo being seen as the antithesis to pretty much all his interests.

i also find their cultural context quite interesting but maybe that's for another day because this is already a ridiculous post.... but briefly something that really informs a lot of their dynamic both in practice and in fic is obviously the existence of finnmaf and roope and miro functioning as the heartbeat of it, and we have moments of robo facetiously referencing them and essentially picking up Spare Euros (aka swedes aka petey and nils) on the side and existing on the outskirts of their friendship. and robo is someone who's moved around a lot and has a pretty varied background and he's talked about how he didn't really recognize the weight of that until he became a public figure and grew into the responsibility of his professional role, and that shows a lot in how he carries himself and interacts with media. and with roope being an "unknown" quantity in some aspects with the language barrier and being from finland i loooveeee any potential fic/narrative that kind of peels back all those little cultural layers or even flips their situations (e.g. post-retirement fic set in finland, soulbonding with the ability to speak/understand finnish—but also Not Understanding and finding comfort in that is part of the appeal so there are a lot of places to take this... etc. etc.). 

i will stop here but beloved ao3 user murkya truly does a wonderful job of capturing them and probably in a more entertaining and digestible manner than anything i said here does :') 

[icyhotheartwritings]

Tl;dr of the unasked for Pat Parelli rant

-Pat Parelli is a con artist who beat his wife and scams people out of their money using extremely clever language

-Don’t even get me started on Parelli’s use of “horsenality” which assigns the stupid left-brain right-brain thing to horses. Along with introvert/extrovert but that’s semi-excusable. But, seriously… he’s advertising these horses as left-brain extroverts and right-brain introverts. Which, as I’ll touch on later, appeals to one market which makes the whole thing feel a bit suspicious.

-Liberty work IS an extremely valid way of working with horses, I partake in some level myself, but Parelli touts his methods as the only valid way while charging hundreds of dollars to “move up” levels in his program (where you aren’t even “allowed” to ride until level 3).

-Parelli’s website will sell you the same shit you can get at Tractor Supply or your local feed store for double the price, sometimes more.

-The most egregious item might be the Pat Parelli’s Rancher Roper, priced at $6,250. You can get a custom saddle fitted to your horse for less. My most high end saddle cost a staggering $600.

-Don’t have a horse? Don’t worry, Pat Parelli has your back! For the low low price of $5000-$150,000 (NOT a typo), you can get your very own Parelli trained horse! Purchases less than $25,000 even get levels 1-3 of the online program for free! Wow! Purchases above the price of a small down payment can claim 10 whole days of training with Pat Parelli himself! Just think, what else would you have spent that money on? I mean, a normal trainer costs about $3k/mo, what a deal Pat Parelli is giving you! For the cost of 8-50 months of training you get ten whole days with him and a horse!

-The most expensive horse at the moment, a 12 year old German Warmblood priced at $150k, only scores an 84/100 on the Parelli assessment… with a 6/10 on “Parelli Training.” It might just be me, but if I was buying a horse for more than some homes cost I would want that number to be a little higher in the training department than the 9.5/10 he got in “Look.” I’ve seen him sell an 11 year old gelding for $300k whose top characteristic was “very handsome.” Over half of this year’s highly bred Kentucky Derby horses cost less than that.

-For a quick horse price reference I have never paid $1k for a horse and my current budget is a bit over $5k. For $5k I had the opportunity to buy a dead broke papered quarter horse gelding under 10 years old. I would be hard pressed to pay $5k for a horse over maybe 13 years old unless it had like, insane breeding and/or training. Pat Parelli is selling a 16 year old mare for $15k.

-If you need more Pat Parelli in your life, you can join his campus program for 24-48 weeks for just $1000/week, where you’ll perform exciting horse training activities like building fences, a skill specifically mentioned in the application! Of course, you can only apply for this course after you’ve paid your hundreds to thousands for mere access to the online courses and additional materials and your $60 fee for each video application to move up a level! What a bargain!

-For his next in person event, you can lease a horse for the bargain price of $600/week on top of the $6500-10000 tuition for the two week program!

-Parelli’s program very clearly appeals to new, young, inexperienced horse owners. On the application to join his $1000/week program it’s asked how many hours you have spent riding a horse across your life. I’ve owned my own horse since I was 5 and started taking lessons at 4. My horse riding experience is old enough to join the US military. No way in hell would I be able to even BEGIN to calculate the amount of time I’ve spent riding. (I’m sure there’s something to say about the fact that this mostly appeals to women, and the former comments about how he treats his wife…)

-Pat Parelli’s cult feeds off of some weird form of elitism. Everyone who follows another method is wrong and abusive. Only members of Parelli’s program are good horse owners, and the more people you can convert to his methods (and website) the more good you do for horses. You’d never see a fan of Monty Roberts saying that.

-For context on training prices I’m taking an hour lesson with a trainer on my buddy’s horse to see if I mesh with the trainer for $70. Highest I’ve personally seen was under $200 a lesson and she’s a HUGE name in a specific breed. Dominates the show scene. Everyone knows her. Even the aforementioned Monty Roberts, one of THE big horse training names for DECADES only charges $300/hr for a 1-on-1 video call. Sending your horse off for training with 1-3 lessons a week usually runs $3k/mo.

-Pat Parelli isn’t fit to kiss my fucking ass.

[outsiderempire]

Trying to pull myself out of a depressive episode by taking a walk in between thunderstorms around my neighborhood. At least the scenery is nice to look at.

This is just me ranting about why I’m depressed. Ignore if you want.

I am so fucking disappointed in myself right now. I have worked tirelessly to lose over 40 lbs in the last year (and I’m still like another 40 lbs away from my goal). This comes after I had lost a bunch of weight before the pandemic (which was the first time in my life I had any sort of confidence and actually liked the way I looked) then I gained it all back plus some during the pandemic. So, to jeopardize my progress as I have done in this past month is super triggering to me.

Between the whole car thing and a federal bill being passed that changed my pay frequency, I’m basically financially screwed right now. I also have an elderly cat with medical problems and I have my own medical problems hindering my ability to stay mobile and exercise but I can’t afford to see a doctor about any of it. I have gone to HUGE lengths to overhaul my ENTIRE diet in an attempt to lose weight, but more importantly, to get my IBS under control, then I just turn around and stuff my face with junk and fast food over the entire last month (after going HALF A YEAR without eating fast food! Thanks, eating disorder!). My other issue that is an on and off thing and I suspect to be piriformis syndrome has flared back up, also making it impossible to exercise which is always been a huge boost to my mental health. So, basically I feel like I’ve set myself back and now I’m struggling so hard to get back on track. I don’t even want to see my dietitian this month because I have zero good news to bring to her.

It just feels like everything is fucking against me right now and I’m like powerless to do anything. I now have to pick up a side hustle to help pay off debt so I can have some relief but that won’t come for a few more months. I live by myself and I’ve been taking care of myself just fucking fine. Then wham! Sick cat requiring thousands of dollars in vet visits, my pay frequency changing from monthly to biweekly (so most months of the year I’m now bringing in $200 LESS a month than before), and the cherry on top, a fucking tree falls on my car, forcing me to buy a new car I can’t afford cause used car prices are insane, and so now I have an extra loan payment AND my car insurance went up. I am not fucking kidding when I say that my budget is down to the fucking PENNY with no fucking wiggle room.

And I’m supposed to be able to adequately feed myself to maintain my healthy diet for weight loss and my gut health somehow and get the motivation up to exercise to keep myself active all while having a house to maintain, a sick cat to care for, and picking up a side hustle? How do I not manage to fall back into a depression through all of this bullshit? I am literally putting in my best effort, doing the most that I can possibly do, and it’s just not fucking enough. Like, what do you even do when you reach that point? Because I have no fucking clue, man. Life is such fucking bullshit.

[the-lotus-pond]

Why I think the Minecraft Mob Vote Isolates it's Players

I think it's fair to say this year's Mob Vote (2023) brought up a lot of long standing issues that have been reintroduced into the Minecraft community throughout the years. Everywhere between basic marketing practices and outright revolution, I want to try and make sense of the chaos I feel is somewhat warranted.

To be blunt, I will be sure to disclaim that I don't like Mob Votes. I've played since a few years after launch, and have since then off and on. Not really due to Minecraft itself (there are some factors), but due to the fact that usually I'd rather just play other games more. That's not a bad thing, and I attribute more to growing up and learning about other games. The reason I mention this is to show I have been through many of a mob vote before, even back when they were Biome votes. From the start, my indifference turned to annoyance.

I believe where I and many others lost our trust in the mob votes was back in during Minecon 2017, the very FIRST one. This presented the community 4 rough ideas of a new creature mob to be added. At the time the Mob Vote was insanely popular, and Mob B, the Phantom, won. However when it did finally get added to the game, I remember many expressing disappointment in what the mob's role would be in the game. On top of that, back when the votes first started happening. Mojang is on record for saying the votes did not decide what got added entirely. They specified it was what was being added first and prioritized, but in later updates the losers of the votes would be added and updated in an appropriate update. And while some biomes as promised have been updated and revitalized, the same cannot be said for the mobs. The very first mob vote was in 2017, and in the 6 years since then, not any of the losers (besides frogs, but I am not counting it because it was in a biome vote.) have been added to the base game. If a bit ironic, they've been added or almost added to side games owned by Mojang.

Because of this, I can absolutely see why people are frustrated with Mojang. Especially when the own the most successful game in the world is Minecraft. That is not an exaggeration, Minecraft is still the best selling video game in the world overall. Multiple activity websites still show millions of players on Minecraft and playing it. It's a big enough game to have a convention just for this game year after year. To call them outright lazy might be a stretch, but there seems to be a fundamental disconnect between Minecraft and it's players. It feels like the line of communication is completely gone. When that communication ends, and you have a growing number of disgruntled gamers, that's how you apparently get Mob Vote revolution, demanding all mobs be added despite the vote, and for it to be removed. It's been nothing but "Feed the Machine" edits demanding to the end of the mob vote. While some are made in good fun, in normal internet fashion, many have expressed their anger in less productive ways. Many outright saying the devs are lazy, when really we don't have any idea what the devs are doing. I don't think I've ever seen this community directly related to the game's development this toxic or plainly pessimistic about the game as a whole. They need to start keeping their promises as a gaming company, or more and more people will become dissatisfied. What do you all think? Im... honestly 50/50, I see both sides.

[eldritchsurveys]

1199.

in what form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? . if you were to leave the house right now, would you change your outfit all? >> I did leave the house for a brief store run a couple of hours ago and I changed from my house pjs into a pair of cutoffs and a Totoro tank top.

when was the last time something really cute happened to you? . why aren't you texting the last person you kissed? .

has anything happened to you within the past month that's made you really happy? >> That mindblowing reconnection with Bruni happened in the past month, so yeah, definitely.

do you want to see someone right now? >> I don't.

did a boy or girl text message you last? . when was the last time something bothered you? >> I haven't been bothered at all today, and I attribute that to not having been on any sort of socmed (aside from a cursory check of facebook, and my fb feed is 98% local businesses so that hardly counts) including Discord all day. I know people talk about the detrimental effects of being Quite So Online all the time but I hadn't realised it for myself until literally today. Most of my triggers are socialisation-based and spending so much time performing personhood for what amounts to strangers and casual acquaintances every single day is probably making me way more insane than I can handle being. This is truly the most relaxed day I've had in a while. Funny how my sense of isolation is actually intensified (maybe even created) by being around ("around") people so often -- the "alone in a crowd" effect but multiplied (there are so many people on the internet). Anyway, the last time something bothered me was... hmm. I don't remember if anything bothered me yesterday, yesterday was actually my first day out of the intense trauma fog I'd been in for the past week and a half. And honestly the limit of my short term memory is like 12 hours lmao, so.

what was the last thing you looked up on youtube? >> I don't remember the last thing I actively searched for. The last thing I watched was a 2 hour Diablo IV critique, lol. It definitely made me feel less crazy about how that game felt to play (bad. it feels bad).

have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? >> I have not. did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? .

what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? >> I don't remember the last time I was intoxicated by way of alcohol.

do you actually love your parents? .

have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? >> Several times, yeah. Ninth grade was the worst. But I was also actively being abused in ninth grade, so I cut myself a lot of slack there.

are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? >> Wallflower -- sometimes in a sad way, but sometimes in a "I just like to chill out and watch people be people" way.

would you rather go to a katy perry or taylor swift concert? >> I would rather stay the fuck home, thanks. have you ever thrown up from working out? >> I have not and I can't imagine pushing myself that hard. Like, for what. I'm not interested in that level of exercise at all. what pattern do the sheets on your bed have? >> No pattern.

are your days full and fast-paced? >> Not at all.

what languages can you count to ten or higher in? >> Just English.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? >> Some big-box store. are you good with painting nails with your left hand? >> I'm competent at it.

do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? >> I share drinks with Sparrow all the time. We've been living in the same house for 8 years, we definitely have merged immune systems by now.

have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? >> all I can do is laugh at this question tbh

have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? .

do you spend more time outside or inside? >> Inside. would you rather give up the computer or the tv? >> I rarely use the TV in the first place and the only thing I use it for is, like, playing the PS4. sooo do you own any fake designer purses? >> I don't.

who was the last person you were with that smelled really good? . do you think braces are sexy? >> Not as a rule.

what were you for halloween in first grade? . last person to make you seriously mad? >> Sparrow.

don't you hate when people have cell phones but never answer them? >> This has zero effect on me because I don't call people... who have you recently made up with after fighting? .

what kind of toothpaste do you use? >> Whatever's reasonably priced. I think we're using Crest right now.

last thing you bought at the grocery store? >> We had to get pickles because Sparrow will not make fried chicken sandwiches without pickles, it's a RULE. And then we picked up a couple of tasty treats while we were there. what were you doing this morning at 1am? >> Sleeping. funniest name you have ever heard? .

what could someone do to irritate you? >> So much shit in this world irritates me. You genuinely do not even have to try to irritate me, it will happen whether you intend it to or not, lol. I try not to hold it against people because I know this about me.

have you used a tissue today? >> I have not.

the last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? . what color hair does your mom have? .

when people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? >> I usually just rattle off a quick "fine"/"fine and you" and move on to what I'm actually there to say. I know the question isn't a literal one, it's just one of those social script things.

honestly, did you really love the last person you said i love you to? .

when was the last time you were told you were cute? . how was your friday? >> Friday... oh, hey, that's today (yeah I had to check--). It was great, actually. I've already talked about why in a previous question. But also I played some Grim Dawn which I love, and I finished that A Slow Death book (I'm obsessed with radiation so that counts as a good read to me), and it's nice and warm outside. And I had a fresh homemade fried chicken sammich. 10/10 day, no notes. when is the last time you were in a swimming pool? >> I think that was at Easton Mountain, a whole lifetime ago. did you speak to your father today? .

what was the last thing you drank? >> This probiotic soda that they were giving out for free(??) at Bridge Street Market.

is there anyone you want to come see you? .

how did you wake up this morning? >> I'm pretty sure my upstairs neighbour woke me up, as usual.

[enneamage]

Youtube, counterculture and What The People Want. These are massive topics that really get the noggin joggin’. Tommy delivered a motivational speech (still peppered with a bit of a lack of awareness that the people he looks back on fondly were once criticized for creating low effort trend following content) about how the people are craving a change because of how hollow certain video formats are becoming.

I’ve touched a little bit on Mr.Beastification before, namely how people are using him as a scapegoat to disown their own pull towards the illusion of safety and guaranteed success. The era of algorithm hacks and mind tricks that we’re in now reminds me a bit of the media version of the pickup artist / redpill scene, where self-styled experts try to brute force human behavior and connection through over-focusing on numbers and science of dubious origin. People have always wanted to bottle and redistribute luck and charisma, and the fact that the YouTube game is half human and half machine makes it seem slightly less insane to try and ‘hack.’ 

As an aside, is there anyone checking up on the people who solely and religiously follow all these hacks and advice? Like, are they actually doing well (in a numbers and personal wellbeing sense) when that’s the primary pillar of their content? I feel like even in the case of Mr. Beast, he probably over-reduces his success down to the variables that he can control/measure rather than the unknowable pile of factors outside of them, so it’s probably not as easy to replicate as he makes it sound.

(Dr. Mittens has a good post about how despite the narratives around Dream, Dream did not come up from zero solely because of his tactical brain, although he’s often used as an example of someone who power-gamed his success.)

So two questions come up in the wake of all this, what is the public hunger that Mr. Beastification inspires, and is YouTube really the place that this pushback is actually going to happen? If YouTube the platform is partly to blame for a certain kind of content rising to the top, one of the simplest answers is to get content somewhere else, which sounds like what Tommy is trying to avoid. Youtube has a virtual monopoly on longform public video hosting so they’re not in meaningful competition with other websites doing exactly what they do, so the threat of this is a bit less.

I look in my subscription feed and even my for-you page and I kind of can’t complain—YouTube knows that I’m “The video essay type” and goes from there, and that’s the bit about the algorithm I can appreciate at the end of the day. I have, largely, been insulated from the dumber things out there. This feels like an issue that’s been taking root in areas that are less curated than my corner, and maybe that’s part of the issue—between youtube hiding most of it’s videos unless it already thinks you’re going to like them and the market flooded with nothingburger formula videos (these problems create each other), it’s more rewarding to stay in your corner than actively seek out new stuff.

Something that I think I want from YouTube (but I don’t think I’ll get because if it were to be part of the system itself it would immediately get abused) is a human referral system. Like the actual ability to curate a page/feed of videos, maybe with a comment to give them context / a reason why you like them. This is because I don’t think I’ll ever trust the creator’s desperation (built-in) and the robot overlords (just want more minutes) over another complete rando who is genuinely like “I enjoyed this :D.” Human attention follows the attention of other humans, and while the algorithm follows that logic in a crude way, putting some texture back into that process might be able to do a lot.

On the topic of franchises, most of the fictional content I consume is from a fandom background so I know that repetition and familiar formats/premises have their place. (Call me parasoical but I like knowing who people are.) I understand why people want to talk about creativity and originality in a world obsessed with formula and guarantees, but I would say to not throw the baby out with the bathwater either, because some people can become so obsessed with innovation that they become backhandedly disdainful of people who have more grounded and reliable tastes.   

[stormyoceans]

have you done a top 5 unhinged puentalay list?? 👀

SFJKSGFJSGDKGS I DID NOT AND IM MORE THAN HAPPY TO FIX THIS TERRIBLE SHORTCOMING ON MY PART. i do think two of their most unhinged moments are the bucket hat scene in episode 1 and the entire shirt scene in episode 7, but since i already used them for talay's list, i tried to pick other moments where puen's and talay's insanity matched!!!

1. the date-not-date culminating in the nivea bathtub scene my beloved in episode 3. two men have to write a script for a romantic movie. they have no experience when it comes to love so they decide to follow a man and a woman to establish if they are a couple or not. in doing so, they end up doing all the typical activities people do on a date: going to a cafe, watching a movie, eating together and feeding each other.... the night ends with the two men going home together. one of them goes to take a bath. after a while the other follows and climb into the bathtub with him. the words "if this can be used to wipe away dust, i should use it with your heart" are uttered. the next day they go on like nothing happened, fully convinced they are just friends. im losing braincells just typing this out. they are insane and i want to throw myself in front of a moving train.

2. the lay's marriage proposal in episode 12. puen proposed with a bouquet of lotus in one hand and a bag of lay's in the other. talay still said yes. i don't even know what else to add they're just lucky they suffer from the same brand of derangement tbh (one might argue that it was just a product placement so it doesn't count. FOOL. their proposal was always going to involve food in some way, shape or form: we got a potato chip, could have easily been a shrimp)

3. the nom nom scene in episode 10. we focus so much on jimmysea improvising it that i think we don't talk enough about the intrinsic unhinged quality of this scene. after episodes upon episodes of puen saying that talay smells good and that he would eat cake right from talay's face, the mad man does exactly as he promised. the other mad man goes along with it and does it right back. couples who've been married for years are gagging in the background because WHO EVEN DOES THAT (unless you're into it, which it's perfectly fine, we're very accepting in this house. but this also brings me to the next point...) JUST GET A ROOM JESUS CHRIST.

4. the "morning after" in episode 2. talay and puen meet. talay gets drunk and kisses puen twice. talay then passes out, so puen brings him home, strips him and puts him in bed. he then decides that the best course of action is to take his shirt off (but not his shoes) and also get into the same bed. talay wakes up the next day to find puen asleep next to him and after a moment of (mild) surprise he checks that puen still has his pants on. they didn't sleep together, and yet they're able to make at least three different kind of sexual innuendos in the time it takes them to have breakfast. they've known each other for less than 24 hours.

5. the mirroring in episode 8. admittedly not as unhinged as the other moments and it's mostly just a cute and funny scene, however this is the proof (along with counting the minutes and seconds in which they're apart) that they do indeed share one single deranged braincell. and i do love that they can be silly together but they really started to do that out of nowhere and almost had their first kiss like that. thank god this is a PG-13 show or idk where else this could have gone.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

NITA STRAUSS Announces Second Solo Album, 'The Call Of The Void'

ALICE COOPER guitarist Nita Strauss will release her sophomore solo album, "The Call Of The Void", on July 7 via Sumerian Records. The LP's latest single, "The Golden Trail", featuring a guest appearance by IN FLAMES vocalist Anders Fridén, can be streamed below.

Regarding the album's title, Strauss shared: "Have you ever been at the top of a high building and had the fleeting thought, '… I could jump right now?' This feeling is sometimes called 'The Call Of The Void,' also known as 'high place phenomenon.' It's not a suicidal impulse, rather the exact opposite — a subconscious decision to live your life, to step back from the ledge, and take control. As researcher April Smith aptly put it: 'An urge to jump affirms the urge to live.'

"I wanted the follow-up to 'Controlled Chaos' to be exciting, new, and fresh, to take listeners to a new place and take myself somewhere new as an artist too. We have some amazing collaborations on this album with incredible musicians, as well as the instrumental guitar music that first inspired me to play.

"Some pieces of music come into the world gracefully and easily. This album is not one of them! 'The Call Of The Void' was born kicking and screaming, a labor of love for sure, but also of blood, sweat and plenty of tears. I couldn't be more proud of the end result. Making this album helped me learn and grow so much as a musician and songwriter and I'm excited to finally unleash it on the world."

On the collaboration with Fridén, Strauss said: "When I was first learning how to play guitar, IN FLAMES were my BEATLES, my first favorite band. Anders's iconic vocal style is burned into my mind! To write a song like this and have him sing on it, as a kid who grew up with IN FLAMES posters on my walls, is an absolute dream come true."

"It was a lot of fun to collaborate with Nita on 'The Golden Trail'," added Fridén. "She's an amazing guitar player and I can hear the history of metal flowing through her fingers."

"The Golden Trail" is the fourth song Nita has released featuring a star guest vocalist, the first being the enormously successful "Dead Inside" which featured guest vocals from DISTURBED's David Draiman and saw Nita become the first-ever solo female to have a No. 1 hit at Active Rock radio. She also returned to her instrumental roots last year with the release of single "Summer Storm", a fast-paced, emotive shred-fest. In October 2022, Nita dropped "The Wolf You Feed", an epic headbanger of a track featuring the insane vocal talent of Alissa White-Gluz of ARCH ENEMY. This past March, Strauss released "Winner Takes All", featuring a guest appearance by Alice Cooper.

Back in February 2022, Nita told SiriusXM's "Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk" about her upcoming LP: "It's gonna be half and half — six tracks with vocalists and six tracks of instrumental [music]. We've been doing ['Dead Inside'] live on the solo tour and it's been getting a super-good reaction from our crowds."

In early December 2022, Nita told "The Mistress Carrie Podcast" about her decision to make the upcoming LP half vocal songs and half instrumental: "I did feel, and the label and everybody agreed, it's still important for me to keep my identity as a guitar player and not just branch off too much and go, 'Okay, well, now it's just guests.' Let me still have a little of what makes me me, which is the instrumental shred stuff. And the instrumental pieces that I've written on this record are, I think, better than anything I did on the first one — definitely more… I don't know if it could be more emotional but they're very emotional pieces of music and I think a little better crafted this time around. So I think all the songs in general are more well thought out, better put together this time around. And I do have some of my absolute favorite [singers guesting on it]. I have three amazing powerhouse female vocalists on this album so far."

Nita released 2018's "Controlled Chaos" to mass acclaim from fans and media alike, with Metal Injection calling it "a great debut that — as its creator intended — leaves no doubt", and Guitar World stating "'Controlled Chaos' is a panoramic view of Nita Strauss's many strengths".

In March, it was announced that Nita would return to Alice's band for his 2023 tour.

The Alice Cooper North American tour, with an all-new show dubbed "Too Close For Comfort", kicked off in late April in Michigan and will continue through late September, including a handful of August stadium shows with DEF LEPPARD and MÖTLEY CRÜE, followed by a co-headlining late summer "Freaks On Parade" tour with Rob Zombie.

Nita spent eight years playing with Alice before joining Demi Lovato's band last summer,

Strauss played her first full live show with Demi in August 2022 at the Grandstand at the Illinois State Fair in Springfield, Illinois.

Nita made her live debut with Demi in July 2022 with a performance of "Substance" on ABC's Emmy Award-winning late-night show "Jimmy Kimmel Live!".

Strauss had been playing with Cooper since 2014 when she replaced Australian musician and former Michael Jackson player Orianthi. She joined Alice in time for a mammoth MÖTLEY CRÜE tour. She was recommended to Cooper by the legendary rocker's former bass player and WINGER frontman Kip Winger.

[astrowaffles]

A through Z for the ask game >:]

HI JAMMIE

this is another long one, bear with me!

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Uhhhhh well obviously I'm loving the gojo & megumi father-son shit at the moment, it really heals the depression. ALSO @grungeeuvu (alt. account @grungiiuvu) has gotten me back into MXTX, especially TGCF, so fengqing is top of my romantic ship list at the moment. I keep meaning to write something for them. Whoopsies.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

my jjk moots are going to think i'm insane for this, but itafushi. It did NOT occur to me when I watched the anime, but then someone suggested it to me and then I rewatched with new eyes and ... yeah. itafushi canon.

also kuromikashou. I'm a fan of that now, too.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

the rats are going to absolutely hate this announcement, but ushioi and oikage. Hate them both. oisuga? sure. iwaoi? love it. oihina? don't see it as a long term thing, but don't care. even atsuoi is passable. But both ushioi and oikage really irriate me for zero reason.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

bokuroo. they make total logical sense and they'd be hilarious together, but to me they're besties. sorry guys :(

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i hear lots of good things about my JNT Rulebook, which is a whole load of crack. Also, for AOT i wrote Chaos Theory, which earned comments like "I had no idea funny fics were possible for this fandom". If you are a long-term aot girlie, I am so sorry for your loss.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Uh, I'm not sure? The first fandom I contributed to was PJO. I was there for maybe two years, and that's probably my record. I'm just over one year on haikyuu now. I'M SORRY I JUST KEEP CHANGING INTERESTS

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

My very first OTP was probably Eadric & Emma from The Frog Princess series. It doesn't really have a fandom but god, I loved those books... OR Ash & Serena from Pokemon. They were good too.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

I mainly watch anime at the moment and usually they have more active fandoms, so I'm happy to stay with them. With books, you can never be sure that anyone else has ever read them.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Nope, because I am good at staying away from scary people. #slay

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr.

Supernatural. No explanation needed.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

From Haikyuu, it's got to be Hinata, hasn't it? And he's weirdly underrated, considering he's literally the main character.

From other fandoms, I love Yona from Yona of the Dawn. She goes from literal spoiled princess to some kind of warrior queen, PLUS she gains emotional maturity. May we all grow to be like her.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

You know what, guys? I do think Goshiki's cute. I do understand wanting to put him in your pocket. Personally, I don't, but I totally see it.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Sugawara. He's top tier friend material - chaotic, funny, caring, and would definitely feed into your delulu.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

My main fandom is probably haikyuu, so I wish I saw more of:

Appreciation for the writing!!!

Love for main characters. It sounds weird, but the fandom is full of people who have a pet side character who barely has any lines. This is GOOD, all character deserve appreciation, but can we get some applause for hinata??

Love for rarepairs. This sounds even stranger, considering my last point, but we need to get used to letting people ship whoever the fuck they want. As long as it's legal.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

After a good old shuffle of my 94 hour playlist, I got Bad Romance by lady gaga. This is gonna come out of left field because I've never mentioned this fandom before, but it's sherliam from moriarty the patriot.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

I've mentioned this to friends before, but we totally need a TGCF hosptial au. Mu Qing is a surgeon, Feng Xin is a physiotherapist, Xie Lian is either a GP or an anesthesiologist, and Hua Cheng is some random reception guy. Mu Qing is always bullying Feng Xin for not being a 'real doctor'. Hualian are married. you see where I'm going.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Harry Potter, for obvious reasons.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

I would die for Nobara & Itadori & Megumi. They deserved to be happy forever.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon

I wrote whole sections of fanfiction based off my headcanon that Megumi has flat hair like Toji, but he styles it spiky to be like Gojo. I KNOW the canon disproves it. I don't actually care.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Nope, because I am non-confrontational and uncreative.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

I'm going niche on this one - well, more like going into fandoms my followers probably aren't into.

Ayame Sohma, Fruits Basket. Loving brother, perfect example of how to make reparations, and also literally fabulous. And gay.

Ooharano, All Out!. Voice by Ian Sinclair, very good at his sport, hilariously sarcastic. Emotional backstory that was just never mentioned again???

Siatrich Wynknight, The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up At The Duke's Mansion. Very funny, likes to be a bit evil for the giggles, thinks it's funny when his younger brother endangers national relations. Gay.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

GUYS I HAVE NO IDEA. I'm probably closest to Bokuto or Kageyama - and that seems odd, because they're different people, but that's how I am.'

Also Gojo. Don't tell my readers I said that.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Exes to Lovers, my beloathed. Hate it so much, I can't even explain why.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS "I KNOW THE PARTS OF YOU THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOURSELF" MY BELOVED

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

RWBY, ITSV, Demon Slayer.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

I guess I've always been interested in the idea of a true morally grey character, because sometimes there are characters that are described as morally grey, or even evil, when they're actually Just A Guy (*cough* Oikawa *cough*). The only character I can think of is probably Dazai from BSD. Everyone has an opinion and very few of them are correct. There is no way you can say he is a bad person, because many of his issues come from the fact that he is an orphan, raised by the mafia, and someone who took the opportunity to leave when prompted. Also, in his life after the mafia, he made a genuine effort to make good on his promises and fix his life, including saving Atsushi.

HOWEVER, you can't say he's a totally good person. He lived well in the mafia, because he didn't care about killing people and perhaps even enjoyed it, depending on how you view certain scenes. Many people would say that he's still not on anyone's side, he's only on his own side. This is debatable, but it's still there. PLUS you've got his continuation of the cycle of abuse through Akutagawa, and his willingness to pretend to betray his friends in order to get the outcome he wants. Everyone else is just a pawn to him.

I'm still undecided on him, but I'm proud of every fan that says "he's morally grey" rather than cutting it up into black and white. Remember that BSD was written for the stray dogs, not the ones who have lived happily all this time...

Thanks for the ask!

[mariska]

have i told u guys on here abt my increasingly irrational fear of radioactive glowing green antique glassware. cus like two years ago or something i learned about how there used to be a big market for "glow in the dark" decor made from irradiated glass back when they just put radioactive materials in everything before there were any kind of proper regulations and public info abt how insanely dangerous that whole practice was on The Bodies Of Living Organisms. anyways ever since i first accidentally ended up in that wikipedia rabbit hole all of the apps i use think that im like Super Into It so i constantly get videos and pics and marketplace listing ads for vintage or antique radioactive green glass stuff and every time it freaks me out so much and i always text one of my group chats when they pop up like "oh my god the radioactive glass is back again. these people are going to die in 5 years tops" and then like LAST WEEK. ish. this random vid pops up on my feed on tiktok of someone using one of those radioactivity monitor devices to see what the rads number read as when they held it up to the glass of their huge cabinet filled with glowing green antique glass and the number was BONKERS and it kept going up higher and higher and i was immediately like I KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW THAT IS NOT SAFE TO STORE IN HUGE CABINETS WHY ARE YOU ALL DOING THIS TO YOURSELVES. i didnt actually say that to them i just yelled about it to myself in my friend group chat because of my hyper specific vendetta against it but. i felt victorious about it. somehow. idk maybe its cus i had to swallow radiation pills to zap my thyroid so that i didnt die at age 16 but my brain is just Not a fan of the concept of collecting and/or hoarding terrifying amounts of actively dangerous radioactive materials in ur house right where u like. eat. and sleep. and stand with all ur organs that are susceptible to radioactive carcinogens