#and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[365days365movies]

Musical December I: Singin’ in the Rain (1952) - Recap: Part Two

Since this is a movie about ghost singers...

Ghost singers dub the singing voices of the stars of musical films. Essentially, if the actor or actress has a poor voice, or a voice that isn’t quite up-to-par, the ghost singer is hired to dub over their voice with their own rendition of the song. Now, there have been a lot of famous ghost singers, but you may not actually know their names. Historically, they tend to be uncredited in film. Which, yeah, is REAL SHITTY. Thankfully, however, we do know a few of them today.

Arguably one of the most famous is Marni Nixon, the ghost singer for Natalie Wood in West Side Story. Yeah, Wood’s performance wasn’t stellar, apparently, and the film producers didn’t even TELL her that she was going to be dubbed by Nixon. And as a result she recieved...no direct royalties! Instead, she got (and I am not kidding) 0.25% of Leonard Bernstein’s royalties! Fuck off! She literally had to go to court for this, and got royalties from the soundtrack.

And here’s the crazy thing: you’ve also heard her in these roles:

Yeah, uh...holy shit.

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about Betty Noyes. We at least know the roles that Marni Nixon took, but Betty Noyes was so prolific, we actually don’t have a confirmed list off all of her credits! Just fuckin’ suspicions! Now, granted, there are a few roles we know she did dub for. One was in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which I might watch this month. Another is...well, we’ll get to that one later. And the other major role?

Yeah, she was Dumbo’s mom!

Noyes was actually nominated for an Oscar for that song, indirectly! Because none of the voice actors in the film were actually credited, Noyes went unknown as the voice actor for this film for far too long. And again, that’s not including the films she dubbed in that we just don’t know about! Man, Hollywood.

These two, of course, are some of many ghost singers in cinema. Betty Wand, Bill Shirley, Bill Lee, Thurl Ravenscroft, and Drew Seeley come to mind. And that last one? Oh, you’re gonna love this.

In the first High School Musical, most of Zac Efron’s lines were ghosted by Drew Seeley. This shit is still happening! Although, to be fair, Efron sung a few lines, and then sang all of his songs for the second and third films. But still, this practice is still in existence! 

And so, with that said, a movie about ghost singers in genuinely an interesting choice for a musical. And that is especially because...well, we’ll get there. We’ll get there. For now, back to the show! 

Check out Part One here!

Recap: Part Two

In order to prepare for being talkie stars, both Lina and Don go to diction coaches. Lina’s lessons go horribly, but Don’s literally ends in another musical number (”Moses Supposes”) with Cosmo. It’s a fun number, but they also ruin this man’s entire office. Jesus, guys, a little respect for the man’s working space.

Filming begins once again, and the director, Roscoe Dexter (Douglas Fowler)  has an actual mental breakdown with the difficult sound setup, and Lina’s complete idiotic inability to adapt. The film comes out, to the great nervousness of all the filmmakers. And unfortunately, Lina’s horrible voice, and the equally terrible sound recording quality makes the audience (and me) crack up with laughter. There’s a lot that happens, but it’s pretty clearly going to be a horrible movie.

As the audience leaves, laughing and mocking the film, the stars (save Lina) realize that they’re completely fucked. In a dinner with Cosmo and Cathy, Lockwood laments his position. He also realizes that he’s not a good talkie actor, as he’s used to acting without sound. But the two friends pick him up and joke about going back into vaudeville.

But that gives Cathy an idea: why not turn the film (called The Dueling Cavalier) into a musical film! They have six weeks, making it a possibility. Excited, they talk into the morning, then sing a song about it (“Good Morning”, from Babes in Arms). And I love this song, but the entire time…all I could think about was the fact that Debbie Reynolds’ dress is the same as Quicksilver’s Silver Age costume. Seriously.

New head canon: Quicksilver is a BIG musical guy.

Anyway, after the song is concluded, the group realize that the issue with their plan is Lina’s voice. Cosmo has the brilliant idea to have Cathy dub over Lina’s voice in the final cut. Which is ironic because…well, more on that later. Anyway, it’s late. The party disbands, and Don brings Cathy home under the pouring rain. And well…you know.

Yeah, this number (“Singin’ in the Rain”, from The Hollywood Revue of 1929), is arguably...what, did I just type “from The Hollywood Revue of 1929″? IT’S NOT AN ORIGINAL NUMBER?!? Wait, the namesake of this movie, the headliner song, the MOST FAMOUS NUMBER IN FILM HISTORY...is from a different musical? I...actually, you know what? Who cares?

Because this number is still arguably the most famous in musical cinema, as well as being beautifully done. Gene Kelly is the master of his craft, and he’s showing off in this number for sure. It’s just a happy and joyous number. And, again, if you’ve seen this movie and never done any of this dance in the rain, I feel sorry for you. You need to inject more joy into your life! Dance in a puddle, swing on a lamppost, trail and umbrella, confuse a policeman patrolling the street in the middle of the night! SOMETHING! It’s pure unadulterated joy in the form of song-and-dance, and I love it.

The next morning, the boys present the idea to Simpson, and he loves it. They rename the film The Dancing Cavalier, and Cosmo’s genuinely great film instincts allow the flawless reworking of the entire picture. Songs are written, Cathy gets to dubbing it, and Lena sings the original song. Horribly. And this is where the ironic part comes in.

See, the song being sung, “Would You”, features Cathy singing over Lina’s track. Thing is, though (and many of you reading probably knew this), Debbie Reynolds is NOT singing this song. Yeah, it’s actually Betty Noyes, a very famous dubbing voice actor for musicals from this time period. Meaning, yes, Betty Noyes is dubbing Debbie Reynolds, whose character is dubbing another character. Ironic.

The plan goes off without a hitch, and Simpson is pleased. One more sequence is plotted out for the film. It’s a song called “Broadway Melody” (from various films), and takes place in the beginning of the hypothetical film. And it’s a ridiculously bombastic number. I love it. Holy shit, I love this movie. Seriously, there is nothing about this movie I dislike so far. This is absolutely lovely.

Those feelings are exemplified by this number, which serves as an interlude of sorts. It is LONG, and it concludes with a beautiful dance. The dress worn by the female dancer contains a flowing train, and off-screen fans make it seem ethereal. It’s genuinely a spectacular piece of art, and it's all about our musical’s main character falling in love with a woman (Cyd Charisse) at a casino, only to find that she’s taken. Instead, a coat and hat girl brings him his things, and he leaves the casino distraught. And this, remember, is meant to be the opening to the musical-in-a-musical. It’s a bit long and confusing…but it’s also spectacular. Like a little splash of Jean Cocteau’s Orpheus. Stellar.

But the whole thing is quickly ruined by, who else, Lina. After finding out that Cathy’s acting as her voice, she flies into a rage, and plots to get Cathy’s name besmirched. She goes around the studio entirely, and sends out an exclusive story to every paper in town. The stories claim that she’s a big musical star, making it a massive problem for the studio to give the credit to Cathy, as planned. Due to her contract, she is in control of her publicity, not the studio. She also makes it so that Cathy’s only future job is as a dubbing artist for Lina.

Fuck Lina, by the way; she’s a piece of shit.

The premiere happens, and the plan goes off without a hitch. The sound is fixed, the songs are great, and Cathy’s voice is beautiful. However, her credits are taken off of the film entirely, leaving her completely screwed. Because, again, fuck Lina. Said asshole gloats backstage as the crowd cheers. As the rest of them battle with the prima donna, she decides to go out and give a speech. Knowing that the situation will backfire on her, they let her do it.

And IMMEDIATELY, upon hearing her real voice, the audience assumes that she’s doing a voice and asks her to sing for them. Seeing an opportunity, Don, Cosmo and Simpson plot as Lina panics. They tell her to go and sing, while Cathy dubs for her backstage. Don insists on it, enraging Cathy. She agrees to do it, though, and has Lina sing “Singin’ in the Rain” while she sings behind the curtains. And then…

Sweet, hilarious karma.

The gambit’s up, especially when Cosmo steps in for Cathy. Lina runs off stage as the crowd laughs uproariously, while a shocked Cathy runs off stage. Don shouts into the audience, telling them to stop her! He gives her due credit as the voice they heard singing in the film, and she looks back at him with tears in her eyes. He serenades her, and they join in a duet on stage (“You Are My Lucky Star”, from The Broadway Melody).

...100%. Not kidding. See you in the Review.

[severephilosopherkid]

Few things that came to my head as I watched the first ep of tsp(SPOILERS) :

IDK if anyone noticed but the crown with which Catherine was shown being coronated with, was the one with which EOY was coronated in twp. A few changes have been made to it giving it a more baroque look. It's a small thing but it really brings an organic feeling of things being connected to the past.

Things got hot REAL quick. I ain't complaining.

I wouldn't mind the show being less explicit about the dynamics between various characters. The cold vibes between Catherine and 'Chaplain' Wolsey could be felt from a mile away.

Henry looked halfway between death and puking when Ferdinand smooched him. Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did.

Mary is 'that girl' and I love it! You go girl!

Does anyone feel a little uncomfortable looking at Ferdinand? Maybe the actor did it on purpose but his eyes seemed to move in a bug like manner and it was kind of unnerving.

Henry, sweetie I know your son makes you super proud but PUT THAT KID THE FUCK DOWN AND OUT OF A ROOM FULL OF FUCKING PEOPLE OR SO HELP ME GOD I-

Stafford got lanced in his godamn eye, fell of a horse, pulled out the aforementioned eye out all the while flirting chivalrously with Catherine. Meanwhile yesterday I yeeted my kitchen knife into a wall after I cut a finger. Whatever happened to this world?

Everytime I saw Henry and Catherine as a loving couple or even their son for that matter it gave me an odd feeling. I know enough history to know that they had been a happy couple once. But this is the first time you somewhat see the depth of the relationship that endured the longest in both their lives, don't get me wrong there are documentaries but I don't think that their relationship (the happy part of it) has ever really been portrayed as the main focus in any TV show or movie. While it's nice to watch this, it makes the thing even more heartbreaking.

Bess is so sweet, if they mess her character I'll lose my shit.

I like that Bessie isn't being portrayed as some sort of hell dwelling coven witch. That is a lot when coming from Philipa Gregory. It somewhat gives me hope for the other women.

Seeing Henry and Catherine just randomly carrying their son anywhere and everywhere and being super cavalier about his handling reminded me of that one scene from The Tudors where Henry is asking over the most trivial of things like the amount of sunlight Edward gets from his governess. Though it almost physically hurts me to admit it, I kinda felt sad for him for the first time. Losing so many children must have been greatly traumatic even for a dickhead like him.

The whole Scotland scene seemed like something I would write when drunk off my ass, 15 seconds in I just stopped and let the madness take over. All I could think while watching the Scotland scene was: Is there some sort of medication you need some of and are taking none of?

That being said I laughed for a solid minute when Meg called Alexander Stewart a pig and straight up gave an upper hook to her husband. 😂😂

Okay unpopular opinion but I thought Henry's anger and disillusionment at Ferdinand's betrayal was justified. The guy sent an entire army funded with a good amount of money from the exchequer only to be left standing like an idiot with severe losses in terms of both men and money (extremely precious resources of a country) and nothing to show for it. Even in the modern times an action such as this would be regarded as a slight against the country, not to mention cause the betrayed country global humiliation. Above all this what really twists the dagger is that it was his own father in law who pulled this shit off. Unlike today, the king was inadvertently representative of his entire country thus making the Spanish liars in his eyes.

That being said his being off with Catherine is not fair. She's his wife and is clearly on his side and very willingly admitting to her father's mistakes.

I WAS NOT able to watch little Henry's death scene. Just didn't have it in me. Also the history buff inside me just kicked up a storm at that like WTF!!! I don't think the queen of England jus- you know what fuck it.

I personally like that the feeling of frustration/guilt that comes with the profound loss of a child or the he inability to have them is being explored. Though slight you can see it, even though it is mostly felt by Catherine at the moment. I hope they deal with the subject delicately because it is a sad and very painful reality for many people out there.

As much as I enjoy seeing these two going at it. Doing it on the day of your baby's fucking funeral is bizzare, not to say a terrible coping mechanism.

I.... didn't understand why they had summoned the court like that in the end. It seems kind of contrary to what I believe a Tudor Era royal would do. Every word they said was calculated since they were more or less reported in every other European court. It's a bit hard to believe that Catherine would so openly denounce her father. Henry probably but Catherine? Then again this is Spanish Princess, the king of Scotland was punched by his queen infront of his council not 20 minutes ago so...

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

So a while ago I said I was planning on playing the story routes in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer.

The Golden Deer made a liar out of me.

So, here’s an approximation of What Happened During Verdant Wind.

So many spoilers below the cut, you guys. I do a lot of route comparisons.

Okay, I’ve been staring at the “which house do you want” selection screen for an embarrassing amount of time.

This shouldn’t be hard. I had a plan.

But no.

I clicked the Golden Deer, just like that. What the fuck, Claude. I blame you.

Immediately upon talking to this rop of students again, I can feel the difference in the social group from what the Lions were like. The latter were really a bunch of noble kids around their prince, and they felt really tight-knit. Classic Fire Emblem starter crew.

The Golden Deer is the fucking Scooby Gang.

First impressions of individuals:

Raphael, thank goodness, is the one character who absolutely has his shit in order. Sure, he’s bad at book work and thinks everything comes down to MUSCLES, but all of his emotional issues are handled by the time he arrives at Garreg Mach. He’s the brightest of sunshines.

Ignatz needs some more confidence in his art, and also I want to see his painting of Seiros. Now, if only both of his offensive stats and growths weren’t incredibly bad.

I was so close to making him my dancer. Just because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna be useful anywhere else.

Lorenz! I don’t like him. His haircut is a monstrosity.

Leonie! We are going. To be. Besties. Even though the timing of your support conversations are incredibly bad.

Marianne no please don’t be sad everyone loves you

Hilda is the greatest enabler I have ever seen. By which I mean she enables other people to do all her work for her.

Lysithea is going to have the last word with God. And especially he Death Knight.

And finally Claude! Teamwork makes the dream work, so obviously meme work does the same.

I’m sorry.

PRE-TIMESKIP

Mock battle! Marianne’s great and I love her and also the only healer oh god.

OKAY. I have access to New Game+ bonuses. What do I do first?

Immediately crank the Professor Level stat to max to avoid ever having to run short of activity points again.

Next, raise all skills I can’t easily get to at least Rank D+. HEAVY ARMOR IN PARTICULAR.

Third: Boost supports with people whose support ranks are an absolute pain in the ass to earn. Lookin’ at you, Rhea.

Also, put glasses on Byleth (named “Yuri” for this playthrough). Glasses are the bomb. I am the evil genius.

LEVEL GRINDING TIME.

It’s a lot harder with Blacksmith access being story-locked, but I can do this!

As a direct result, every single battle after this point is a complete curbstomp in my favor. Because the grind don’t stop.

I broke a lot more weapons than last time, though.

I will befriend Leonie and Ferdinand if it’s the last fucking thing I do. I will befriend everyone, and I will not get timeskip-locked out of supports! >:(

Ferdinand was my first recruit. Oh dear.

Okay, there are like five born cavaliers in this game. Leonie, Ferdinand, Lorenz, Sylvain, and I guess Dimitri if you’re on the right route.

Last time, Sylvain was a great paladin and a decent Dark Knight before he started getting one- or two-stat level ups for like thirty levels. Similarly, Dimitri was great until all his ultra-secret-awesome promotions didn’t use a fucking horse.

Contrast Leonie who, despite sitting out 99% of the game out of spite from me getting locked out of her support chain, went to endgame with a ten-level deficit and still rocked.

Ferdinand didn’t count since I failed to recruit him last time and he died. These two facts are directly related.

I didn’t use Lorenz at all; I recruited him to keep from having to kill him later.

This time, Lorenz straight-up sucks, Sylvain did the terrible level dance for like the entire game, and Dimitri’s not recruitable.

Contrast, again, Leonie. Her support chain with the player character is hot garbage, but she plowed through most of the game as a mainstay of my team and made it to Bow Knight first out of anyone.

Bernadetta and Ashe as Bow Knights don’t even come close to being as durable as she is, except for Ashe’s absolutely bananas Resistance. 29?! WHY?!

And Ferdinand is also awesome. His only real weak point is Resistance, but he doesn’t need it. He dodge-tanks everything, is faster than Leonie, and has two Saints’ relics he unknowingly stole from Seteth.

He still talks in MLA format, though.

I started putting off recruiting people so I wouldn’t have to level-grind them up to par with the rest of my team.

But if these people wanna join, of course I’m saying yes.

Lord Lonato’s rebellion and Miklan yoinking the Lance of Ruin feel way less relevant on a Golden Deer playthrough than on a Blue Lions one. None of the Herd really know who the hell these people are.

I say that despite having already recruited Sylvain for this playthrough and deploying him in the relevant level. He wasn’t treated as there by the game’s preamble cutscenes.

At least the Holy Mausoleum stuff feels more...handled? Claude actually asks questions about rebellion and about the “assassination plot,” where Dimitri didn’t really.

OKAY SO there’s this whole plot thing where Flayn goes missing for a month. With the Blue Lions, this is handled like a manhunt. Dimitri’s seriousness about the issue rubs off on everyone except Sylvain, and Felix actually correctly identifies the culprit almost instantly. He doesn’t know he’s done it, though, because basically everyone is just throwing out accusations. Manuela is the real MVP.

CONTRAST THE DEER. The very first meeting reads like a Scooby Doo episode, when they’re piling up clues and throwing out suggestions like the gang of goofball teenagers they are. Claude’s got this group running like Persona 4′s Investigation Team. None of them are jaded or frantic, they’re just doing this.

Why did Rhea entrust the investigation to a herd of teenagers.

Anyway, the rest proceeds as usual.

I don’t know why the game tries to drop the same set of hints for each route. “OoooowoooooOOOOoooo, your house leader might be the FLAME EMPEROR.”

The Flame Emperor wears heels. And is still too short to be either Claude or Dimitri. Especially Dimitri. Who the fuck let this kid get so tall.

The only real result of all this bullshit is that my wyvern-riding sniper of doom is not available during the first map where Yuri personally beat the Death Knight into the ground.

Which, by the by, was hilariously cathartic.

It doesn’t exactly matter, since the only unit who can make real use of the Dark Mage and Dark Bishop classes is unrecruitable, but bragging rights.

Remire Village’s drama is about as bad while playing as the Golden Deer. One of the foreshadowing cutscenes, though is excellent:

Claude actually finds a book that depicts The Immaculate One before its debut, only to have it confiscated by Seteth and learn that it wasn’t a library book at all; it belonged to “Tomas.” Like, all of his suspicions--which he shares with the player--start lining up. Censorship! Monsters! Sword of the Creator! What the hell is going on here??

Dimitri’s version of the cutscene involves him being caught investigating Lord Arundel by the player and Sothis. Which--since his route doesn’t meaningfully deal with the Morlocks faction aside from steamrolling them as incidental opponents--seems kinda useless.

Kicked the Death Knight into submission again out of spite.

Sylvain was useful! Mostly because I had him sit there and distract the incidentals while Claude and Lysithea cleaned house, but still!

Claude is the only lord character who seems to understand that the transforming Morlock faction probably needs to be taken more seriously. For the remainder of Part One, no one does so.

Rhea you’ve got some ‘splainin to do.

Marianne’s my team’s dancer this time. She’s a sweetheart. She seemed happy to be asked and to pursue the lessons, and being able to use Physic is a good trait in someone who’s nearly always going to be waaaaay behind the rest of the group.

Dad-stabbing happened.

Again.

Boop boop Solon’s dead.

Again.

Dear diary: I learned the definition of irony and set the Flame Emperor on fire.

I kid.

But Claude took her out in one completely overpowered shot, because crits are a thing, Flame Emperor class skills don’t reduce damage enough to survive it, and his Dex stat is through the fucking roof. And he was on a wyvern at the time because fuck it, why not.

Claude’s reaction to all of this is a minor letdown compared to the fully-rendered cutscene in the last route.

This would become something of a trend--taking out OP bosses with unexpected critical hits.

I didn’t expect to like Lorenz and now I do. How.

This is hilarious simply because he seems to be the only character that Mercedes hates. What the fuck, man.

Once again, Edelgard invades! Once again, I drop someone unexpected on her head!

Not really. It was Yuri.

Yuri does the timeskip shuffle and we’ll see everyone again after a nap.

FIVE YEARS LATER.

Aw, Claude was waiting for Yuri to show up. Adorable.

The post-meetup fight is actually harder than it was in the BL route, despite excessive level-grinding. This is due to three factors:

Claude is automatically on a wyvern, meaning that he has inherent class vulnerability to archers on a map with at least five of them. And less range than they did, for some fucking reason.

Lorenz and Ignatz started out on the same corner of the map and both of them are shitty offensive units who could barely kill a mage between them. (Neither of Ignatz’s offensive stats cracked 20 for another thirteen levels.)

I don’t have Ashe and his personal skill Locktouch, and nobody started with a Chest Key or Door Key, which meant I had to keep various enemies alive long enough to steal all of their stuff. And the enemy item drops came up one short of the number of chests on the map. I want my stuff, dammit.

LET’S MAKE A SCENE.

Randolph, as a boss in Verdant Wind, did not get any better at figuring out when he’s outmatched. Therefore, I killed him with Raphael again.

At least he straight-up died this time.

Claude didn’t even get to set the damn place on fire.

Ingrid is turning out to be way better of a unit this time than she was last time. She’s a little slower, but a lot stronger.

FELIX, WHERE THE FUCK WAS ALL THIS STRENGTH HIDING LAST TIME. YOU’RE TEN POINTS AHEAD OF THE GUY WHO HAS STORY-BASED SUPER STRENGTH.

AND SPEED.

Iiiiiiiiit’s JUDITH!

She only shows up on one map in the entire Azure Moon route, and that’s a damn shame. She’s so cool in Verdant Wind.

A lord-class character who isn’t also a Lord! WOO!

Also her spies are better than anybody’s apparently.

I am choosing to believe that because Ingrid’s family is related to Judith’s, her badassery in this route is the direct result of meeting her distant cousin and absorbing badass radiation.

There’s something funny about having to pull one over on Lorenz’s dad to get anything done. The Great Bridge falls not to power, but Claude baiting Count Gloucester’s entire army to be somewhere else. (FEAR THE DEER.)

As a result, Ladislava dies alone. (As opposed to taking Ferdinand with her due to plot shenanigans.)

Lysithea and Ferdinand’s paralogue was really quite sad, for all that the only named guy who died was deeply unsympathetic. Ferdinand’s dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t the asshole for this particular scenario, and now both of his parents are gone. :(

Felix...hasn’t heard from his dad in a while. Worrying.

Oh, and Caspar’s uncle is still dead, in case we were keeping track of that.

Dorothea’s happier with Ferdinand alive. She did an impression of the Gatekeeper. :3

Gronder Field! FUCK.

I delayed playing this chapter for two solid days because I already knew what was gonna happen. Specifically: Edelgard gets injured and evacuated, and Dimitri drops of exhaustion just in time to get run through like ten times by the Emperor’s rearguard.

I eventually got my shit together enough to do the thing.

Marianne, Raphael, and Ferdinand went after the Kingdom army first. Leonie and Felix hung back and then reinforced them after taking out the archer on the central hill.

Claude killed everyone in the center of the map, which meant Edelgard set the entire hill on fire and if Bernadetta had not been recruited she would’ve burned to death there on the spot.

Ahem.

I sent Yuri to clear the entire left side of the map by herself.

She succeeded.

Raphael KO’d Dimitri with a luck Gauntlet crit, got blasted down to half health by a Warlock, then plunked ineffectually at Dedue until Marianne used her Levin Sword to sort him out.

Ferdinand killed everyone else on that side of the map.

Claude once again got the kill on Edelgard with a lucky crit, after Yuri had killed everyone else (up to and including the Demonic Beasts) single-handedly.

And then the plot moved on. Hilda’s account of Dimitri’s death was awful, Dedue’s reaction was worse, and off we go to punch Edelgard’s teeth in.

Again.

Annette’s dad is probably dead now.

Felix’s, too.

(I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE DAD-STABBING.)

FOOOOOORT MERCEUS.

No matter how many times I think about it, Claude’s Almyran army reinforcements only make so much sense. How the hell and fuck did he manage to sneak an entire foreign army across a whole country to help with one battle?

But hey, they’re here, and Claude almost admitted the reason why he could do that. And the arrow greeting between him and Nader was cool.

(Spoiler: On top of being the Alliance’s leader, he’s also the crown prince of Almyra!)

The Death Knight had the gall to run from my army.

Yuri punched his ticket for the third time, which was not the charm.

And then Fort Merceus took an intercontinental ballistic missile and suddenly defeating the fort’s garrison feels a lot less triumphant.

Spot the miscolored eyes in this cutscene!

Welp. Fuck it, we’re off to Enbarr. Time to also punch Hubert this time! What a change of pace.

Eyyy, it’s the Enbarr map. I totally forgot to bring Seteth and Flayn along to check out the opera house, despite a whole bunch of characters talking about how they totally wanted to check that place out at some point. No room for deadweights in a map that has SO MANY ARCHERS.

Managed to get the special dialogue between Ferdinand and Hubert, and now I’m sad again.

Killed Hubert with Claude.

And because this is a two-part map, we immediately run off to chase down Edelgard. Due to the player army not doing a really weird 180 in the middle of the plot to kick Cornelia out of Fhirdiad, she didn’t have time to turn into a giant demonic thing! She just has WAY TOO MANY MAGES.

Strategy: Forget what Door Keys are, split the team by Avoid rating, and go to town.

Claude nearly died thanks to a critical mass of Gremories and Mortal Savants (and still, what the fuck is that name), but Dedue-as-guest-character didn’t, so I count that as a win! His defense was so high that the Giant Demonic Beast couldn’t even scratch him.

Claude, Petra, and Ingrid all having Alert Stance as a skill means dodge-tanking is hilariously easy.

Also, Ingrid was supposed to just take a chunk out of Edelgard’s HP bar for the final assault and ended up crit-killing her on the first attack. With a bog-standard silver lance.

Weird as the situation turned out, I guess that means one of Dimitri’s friends really did avenge him after saying they would. Even if Dedue was the only one who had a special cutscene about it.

We rescued Rhea! And the characters being happy about it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I want answers, same as Claude, and being forced to RP Yuri being oh so worried about Rhea’s safety felt incredibly disingenuous.

Claude actually yells at her over the “...” she seems to think is an explanation. THE TIME FOR SECRETS IS PAST.

WHY DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

WE’VE BEEN AT WAR FOR FIVE YEARS.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIED HORRIBLY FOR BASICALLY NOTHING.

Incidentally, this is why I didn’t end up playing Edelgard’s route as planned. Her logic for kicking two other sovereign countries in the balls felt incredibly self-centered.

At least Catherine’s happy. Same with Alois and the rest of the Church crew.

They are soon going to be not as happy.

I’m filling out the ENTIRE support log before endgame. I have absolutely no idea what characters are going to end up together as a direct result.

The last conversation? Seteth and Manuela’s A+ support!

Because so many of the support conversations are romantic at A/A+ level, I guess we’ve managed to turn this ragtag army into a polyarmory.

Oh boy, Thales sure is a sore loser.

I say, as though I didn’t kill EVERYONE he knew over the course of an hour and also split his skull open under Seteth’s axe. His racism would have keeled his ass over before death set in.

That sure is a ICBM.

GOD DAMMIT RHEA, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A Q&A SESSION AFTER THIS.

WHY DOES EVERYONE WHOSE JOB IS EXPOSITION UP AND DIE.

Meanwhile: THE UBER-DEAD PEOPLE.

Claude, your route is batshit. What is this genre anymore?!

I wanna point out that, despite seeing Rhea/Seiros do the dragon thing, the player character never told Claude what the fuck that was about. I feel like one of the first things I would have done after the class reunion would be going, “By the by, did anyone else notice the fucking dragon?!”  WHO IS ALSO THE POPE???

Bah.

ANYWAY. Looooong-overdue exposition time!

I notice that Rhea didn’t out Seteth or Flayn, which was nice of her.

Claude, she can turn into a fucking dragon. I don’t think immortality is that far from being plausible.

GOD DAMMIT NEMESIS, CAN YOU FUCK OFF FOR TEN MORE MINUTES.

Uuuuuuugh fine, fuck everything, I’m putting your head on a pike.

CLAUDE, THE SWORD OF THE CREATOR LOOKS LIKE A SPINE.

OF COURSE IT’S MADE OF BONES. A BUNCH OF THE HEROES’ RELICS MOVE ON THEIR OWN!

The frantic music is not helping.

Time to kill a bandit king.

“My flabber is completely gasted by now.” Okay, that made me laugh.

Nemesis’s boss mechanic is pretty neat. To kill him at all, you need to kill all of the minibosses in the level and take down his friendship-based-plot-armor.

Or it would be, if I didn’t already make a habit of steamrolling everyone else on the field before tackling the boss at the end.

CUTSCENE.

Cutscene lesson: “Fuck honor duels.” It’s time for CHAIN SWORD LIMBO.

Claude, your bow shoots LASERS. SINCE WHEN.

Also getting kicked across the field by a dude twice his size didn’t seem to actually affect his mood much.

Awww, Yuri smiles now. Adorable. :D

AND THAT’S A WRAP.

Pairings: Yuri/Sothis (mostly to get them out of the way and see what everyone else would do), Claude/Petra, Raphael/Marianne, Catherine/Shamir, Lorenz/Mercedes, Ashe/Annette, Felix/Sylvain (bad end; the former straight up disappears), Seteth & Flayn wander off, Manuela/Dorothea, Lysithea/Linhardt (again), Leonie/Ignatz, Ferdinand/Bernadetta, Caspar/Hilda, and a couple of people are alone. Cyril gets to actually be a student after the story’s done, though!

Whew, that was fun. Gonna mix up the pairs a bit next time I play through the endgame and see what happens.

[themisfitthrone]

i was tagged in 3 tag games in the last day or so and instead of making 3 separate posts in which i tag much of the same people, i decided to consolidate. i love you all who tagged me.

uh....idk if i have anyone to tag? you guys kind of covered everyone i WOULD tag. i guess @flowerparrish, @colormekorrasami, @jordanetalaredead, @megayest, @twin-ace, @lakesandquarries, @peachy-shrimp, and @hotdamnlookatthispan.... if any of these look interesting, you should totally do them!

okay everything under the cuuuuut

tag game number one: tagged by the sweetest human, @carrie-frances

what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum? this is a tough one? currently i’ve been singing You by Keaton Henson a lot and also Ophelia by The Lumineers. Let Her Go by Passenger is another goodie for singing lately. Oh and Lost Boy!!!! by Ruth B.

what’s your favourite flower/tree/plant? I love nature wow. My favorite tree is definitely a Weeping Cherry Tree or Willow. My favorite flowers are sunflowers and roses! Plants in general, I just really love cacti? It’s a product of having family I adore in Arizona haha

what do you always doodle? hm... cats, mostly

how do you take your tea/coffee? With plenty of splenda and some milk

favourite candle scent? Vanilla, mostly. just sweet things

what perfume do you wear? body sprays from bath and bodyworks, usually vanilla or peach

what’s your go-to dance move when you’re alone? i have zero clue haha

favourite quote? i don’t know off of the top of my head! perhaps the one i have tattooed, from star wars. “luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

favourite self care routine? putting on good smelling lotions. reading a book. snuggling oliver. calling someone i love.

fuzzy socks or house slippers? both! but mostly fuzzy socks

what colour are your eyes? just plain ole brown

what’s your favourite eye colour on others? idk? i think blue or green but i adore brown eyes on everyone

favourite season? why? autumn, i like the colors and the clothes and the smells

cheek, neck or nose kisses? cheek! but the real MVP are forehead ones

what does your happy place look like? the beach but without all the people. or a quiet forest with light filtering in

favourite breed of dog? i’ve always loved boxers the most, and cavaliers

do you ever want to be married? if so, what colours would you pick for your wedding theme? yes, i think i do? i don’t know what colors, it’s always changing. i think it depends on the person i’m with because their input would matter. i’d want the colors to be whatever colors they think of when they see me and vice versa

cursive or print? it’s a solid mix but mostly print

favourite weather? raining and warm, but not thundering

tag game number two: tagged by the amazing @dancyon

— What was your last…

1. Drink: iced tea

2. Phone call: my aunt calling with some hard news

3. Text message: my aunt with an update

4. Song you listened to: love me by the 1975

5. Time you cried: yesterday and i’m gonna cry later today @ love, simon

6. Dated someone twice: yeah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: for sure

8. Been cheated on: by two different people, apparently im easy to cheat on

9. Lost someone special: sadly, i’ve lost a few

10. Been depressed: lmao got that good good depression goblin

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: god yeah whoops sorry friends

— Fave colours

12. purple (any shade really)

13. blue (any shade really)

14. soft yellow

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: ahhhh!!!! yes i have ♥

16. Fallen out of love: hhhhhhhhhh

17. Laughed until you cried: probably

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, in more ways than one

20. Found out who your friends are: idk???? kinda yeah

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: uh i think i have my ex still

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: majority

23. Do you have any pets: my boy @ollycat and then my dogs and cats @ my parents house

24. Do you want to change your name: i actually did but now i’m back to my birthname bc being NB is one big ???? of what do i want 

25. What did you do for your last birthday: oh shit well w my friends i got drunk on rum, dressed up like a pirate, and played d&d. and then fam was the usual cheesecake factory adventure

26. What time did you wake up today: uh around 8 something officially?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i fell asleep before midnight? if not i was watching Critical Role

28. What is something you can’t wait for: my next tattoo!!

30. What are you listening to right now: just the sounds of my grandparents house

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have an ex named Tom and a Grandpa named Tom

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: just like....everything about this breakup and stuff i guess

33. Most visited website: god uh...tumblr and twitter????

34. Hair colour: naturally a dark brown with some reddish in it. it’s currently died as close as possible to that

35. Long or short hair: medium?

36. Do you have a crush on someone: no currently i’m avoiding all romance like the fucking PLAGUE

37. What do you like about yourself: i’m pretty tenacious

38. Want any piercings: nah, i’m more the tattoo type

39. Blood type: ..............why

40. Nicknames: bird, birb, kbird, kbirb, broseidon

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: aries

43. Pronouns: they/them

44. Fave tv show: on air right now it’s b99 and the good place. in general, buffy and gilmore girls

45. Tattoos: i currently have 6 and i want sooooo many more

46. Right or left handed: left!!!!

47: Ever had surgery: tonsils and stomach yeah

48. Piercings: none

49. Sport: none currently but football (soccer) will always have my heart

50. Vacation: currently in arizona!! i’ve been all over though, i miss mexico a lot

51. Trainers:  what does this....mean....like.....shoes???????

— More general

52. Eating: currently nothing? 

53. Drinking: iced tea currently

54. I’m about to watch: LOVE, SIMON AGAIN BITCH!!!!!!!

55. Waiting for: life to feel right

56. Want: a nap, like always

57. Get married: okay your answer of “if i get past my commitment issues and find someone that loves me, sure” was fucking perfect

58. Career: teacher!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: taller

62. Older or younger: older

63. Nice arms or stomach: arms

64. Hookup or relationships: relationship

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope

67. Drank hard liquor: hell yeah

68.Turned someone down: in high school yeah. and like once in college

69. Sex on first date: ........im an ace baby

70: Broken someone’s heart: supposedly

71. Had your heart broken: mhmmmm

72. Been arrested: nah, just brought home by cops

73. Cried when someone died: yeah, i cry at everything but especially death

74. Fallen for a friend: ..........only friends tbh

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: trying to? cullen says my heart’s vibranium

76. Miracles: some days i do

77. Love at first sight: probably not, i used to though

78. Santa Claus: not anymore

79. Angels: i’d like to

— Misc

80. Eye colour: brown!

81. Best friends name: i mean..... jenny, ellie, michelle, and cullen? plus like max and jor, of course

82. Favourite movie: i guess the princess bride is the Most Favorite of All

83. Favourite actor: my MAIN MAN, hugh jackman

84. Favourite cartoon: danny phantom right now

85. Favourite teacher’s name: in HS it was mrs haley and in college it was dr trainor....grad school so far it’s been jen lynady

final tag game: tagged by the cutest, @blurredmxnds

bold the statements that are true

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory (lmao about some things???)

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else 

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year (on and off)

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have at least 15 CDs (somewhere in my things)

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (i JUST ended my thing w this)

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone (just a toe)

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

[bhadpodcast]

As an actor, being noticed is key.  You need to have a quirk, a gimmick, and angle to set you apart from the bunch.  Being an extra on set with no real defined job role, you kind of want the opposite.  You want people to know you’re there in case you’re needed, but you also want them to forget you so you can sit back and watch.  

Damon sits back and watches a lot.  He watches as Dylan emerges slowly from his shell.  Watches him give suggestions and make funny adlibs that the other actors struggle not to break at.  He watches him soak up any tricks the others have like a sponge and then deliver flawlessly. 

Damon also notices.  He notices that Dylan has gotten a little taller.  He’s still a skinny kid, but he’s filling out a bit.  He’s going to get ready for a movie soon, it’s still very much in talks, but he’s been talking about “getting in shape”.  He says it ironically when he and Damon share a butt after one of their dates.  He notices that Dylan calls them dates, freely and without reserve, but also without promise.  

Usually when they meet Damon picks up Dylan in his truck, but sometimes Dylan meets him at Colton’s.  When he does he always has a flower. He gives it to Damon and shrugs, doesn’t say anything though neither fully knows what it means.  He knows Hoechlin’s girlfriend sent him flowers and Hoechlin didn’t talk much on set about it, but that’s when the flower thing started.  

He notices Hoechlin noticing Dylan.  Again, or even still.  He once had to look down at him, but Dylan is slowly reaching his eye level.  He sees the shooting star in the boy.  Starts to carry himself as less of a mentor and more as an equal.  To the untrained eye it my be seen as a move of star power, but Damon thought maybe there was another motive at play. 

“He won’t kiss me.”  Dylan tells him.  They’re laying in Damon’s bed, sharing a beer, smoking and watching a weird infomercial on TV.  Dylan likes to predict how many installments and how much the shipping and handling is.  He’s always right.  “It’s a weird thing, you know?  Like, we were just sitting there, watching the game and he smells like the fucking woods and I’m hard as a rock.  Just for no real reason.  And he like, giggles at me?  And says ‘need a hand with that?’.”

“No way!” Damon interrupts at the right time.  “He actually said that?”  They’re girlfriends now.  Hanging out and dishing about boys.  They’re not lovers even though they just got done making- well, having sex?  What’s 69′ing without strings?  Hooking up?  They’d just hooked up and now they were chatty cathy’s and Damon felt the need to show Dylan that was okay.  For Dylan, and a little for himself. 

“I know, right?!  Like, who fucking says that anymore?  What am I? A pizza delivery guy?  A plumber here to fix your sink?” Dylan just shakes his head and laughs.  Damon doesn’t push.  They’re being cavalier but he knows the boy wouldn’t have brought it up if it didn’t mean something.  

“So of course, I’m like hell yeah, but I gotta play it cool so I just nod.  And he like, slaps my knee twice and on the third time he grabs it and starts massaging it.  And this is when I start to freak out because... I played team sports, you know?  I fucking get it, but I don’t get this.  This isn’t a quick circle jerk to girls in panties, this is fucking Hoech and... baseball and like, shit I like in one room and my dick is about to be involved.”  Dylan takes another pull from his cig and then stamps it out.  He’s only ever been a one or two drag kind of guy. One of those kids that started out of peer pressure and keep going to network and it’s something to do, something they think slows them down when the world gets too fast.  Damon’s much the same.

“Next thing I know he’s massaging my crotch and all I know in that moment is I want my mouth on him, somewhere, so I look at his mouth and I lick my lips and he grins, and just as I’m to lean towards him he squeezes me and say ‘easy tiger’.”  Dylan’s eyes dance as he tells the story.  It’s part wonderment, part exasperation, part fondness.  It’s all encompassing, as Hoech has come to be, the windmill to his Don Quixote.  

“He never says no, actually.  He’s always careful not to close any doors, not to burn any bridges and I used to love that about him, but being on the other side is kind of shitty.  I feel like, if you offer to put your hands on a guy’s dick, that must mean that in some way you’re interested in another dude’s dick, right?  Like, you’re no longer really straight then, but... then.”  Dylan stops and looks as though he’s searching for an answer he can just see the edges of, the rest is not quite a blur, but still inscrutable.  

Finally he heaves a sigh and shrugs dramatically.  “It was all for nothing.  Just as he was about to reach into my pants, Posey came home.  He’s been fighting with Seana so Hoech went out and got us beer so we could get wasted.  It ended up being a fun night.”

“Sounds dope, bro.  You should have called, made it a house thing.”  Damon offers.  He hasn’t been to their apartment much, but he’s anxious to see how Hoechlin notices Dylan in their natural habitat.  How they relate to each other.  He wants to see how much Posey knows, if he sees anything, or even suspects.  

“I wanna blow you.”  Dylan says, casual, but enthusiastic, his big brown eyes shining in the sun pouring through the window.  Their clarity always catches Damon off guard who nods.  

“Yeah, just, remember the thumb thing I taught you if you start to gag.”

“Oh yeah, that thing is gonna be a life save when- uhh...” Dylan stops suddenly, looking up at Damon with something akin to guilt in his eyes. 

“It’s a good tip to have.”  Damon says gently, caressing his thumb on the back of Dylan’s head.  Dylan smiles and kisses Damon softly before slowly making his way down Damon’s torso.  Damon watches as Dylan’s pink pout glides smoothly over his cock, bobbing in measured moves flicking his tongue to adjust to the piquant taste of Damon’s pre.  

He watches as Dylan’s eyes close, as he leaves his present and goes to his head to imagine another in his place.  When he came over he was wearing Hoechlin’s t-shirt.

Damon notices. 

[elkian]

chapter 21 appeared nonetheless!

oh lord, this map. this map is where i got stuck on my last play.

as Blastinus repeats, Show, don’t tell (especially with the Golden-Sun-esque wordcount already established). Absolutely none of this is reflected in gameplay, and we (spoilers) recruit the dude responsible immediately following this chapter with no real consequences either way.

My suggestion is to rewrite this to be a) shorter and b) be about Risk running off on his lonesome because of duress and because he’s not great at thinking things through/rash, the latter of which was established 4 chapters ago.

yeah, these are actual enemies in the upcoming map

we won’t be deploying Shon because I don’t have a fucking death wish, but we will be distributing some ‘roids

Part of me wanted to help pump Anakin’s luck up even further so he could cap, but I only have one of these things, and Emma is a Luck-starved staple unit

i stumbled upon this as I was paging through units, seeing who’d get what. Lyam is actually barely better than Asch, and that makes me sad.

his name is literally Blaine King

lastly, here’s Zach compared to a generic enemy archer. he’s better in everything except Skill(!!), and his defenses are only a touch higher. He’s really not that good, though his ridic speed and decent Con make up for a lot

How is Karina faster and more skillful than Lirin? What the fuck?

Lirin’s taking a hike to make room for Tamiko.

ha!

Cia wastes a Merc for a fuckin’ amazing level. That makes four units to have capped speed so far.

Anakin Motivates Ed to succeed

this poor cav can’t double Ed even with an Iron Sword

Rex decides his performance so far isn’t impressive enough and crits a fucker

look at this shit!

Not including the three we just murdered, there’s 38 enemies on this field. The good news is that the promoted enemies will not move.

further good news is that aside from Ed, no one’s taken a single hit

pffft!

Karina can’t land a crit with the Killer Lance, but 3% is apparently enough.

speaking of crits

between his relatively decent skill gains and his support with Ace, Ed is now primed to Charge

a good level!

okay, that one actually hurt. Ed doubles the fighter exactly to death for

strength cap and an okay defensive gain!

...tekun, you’re in range of both your supports, have capped speed, and are sitting on a forest. HOW DOES THIS RANDOM CAVALIER HAVE 42% HIT ODDS

(fortunately, said cav misses)

rex has nearly the same odds near ONE support and no terrain bonus

also, he can outdamage Steel with Iron. I love Rex.

see, this I can understand.

fuck you (it misses)

i’m really glad this missed, to be honest.

fffffff

FUCK

welp

let’s do this a little differently. Emma is so stupidly stacked that no enemy can deal more than 5 damage at a time to her, and too fast to double

YOU ARE A VALKYRIE

I mean, I’m sure as hell not complaining, but what the shit?

I’ll take it.

Ace overkill crits the FUCK out of this mage on the second attack

the nice thing about our crew is that they’re too fast to be doubled by practically anything on this map, and my defensive formation keeps multiple attackers off most of the weaker units. so Ed takes a hit, but pretty much nothing can get in range of him to capitalize

Ace counterkills a luckless Fighter for an excellent level

this is just sad

the only one of three enemies to land a hit on Tekun

they were at 1 HP you bastard!

also, apparently I was wrong, the Bishop DOES move.

I don’t think I realized how underleveled Kelik was. He’s gaining levels practically every skirmish

oh ho!

Tempting, but then Ace can’t A-Rank Ed or Anakin. I’ll think about it.

I... yeah, okay. You’re still awesome, Kevin.

Mark breaks his Hand Axe for... a level.

Ed breaks an enemy to again cap Strength

Karina and Sai tag-team a Mage for an excellent level. Also, I don’t think Karina has procced a crit with the Killer Lance on a single ‘canon’ use.

Siegfried is required on this map. I’m largely not using him, though he handily clears out this peg

whatever

this asshole was directly responsible for me resetting on this turn - he hit Mark and someone else followed up. This time it misses. Also, I don’t think the AI is programmed to recognize Aircalibur as effective vs fliers, this is the second time one has ignored a flier for another unit.

Karina dodges, crits, but can’t ORKO this hefty Fighter

I thought maybe the Dephi Shield also blocked Aircalibur, but clearly the AI does not take that into consideration

get fucked

Zach nails a Merc for a great, if Skill-less, level

...so either Aircalibur’s description of ‘Tears through the wings of Pegasi’ is an exclusive statement, or the Delphi Shield DOES block it.

Devil Axe Fighter eliminates themself

the chainsaw is fucking ridiculous. Look at that Crit!

...well okay then

she got an unnecessary crit and a pretty good level

this took a year off my laugh. Thankfully she dodged and didn’t get doubled

Ace helps finish the Paladin for a good level

Anakin helps Cia murder the Warrior for nice levels all around

Not being about to ORKO this cav is actually a blessing, because Javelin Cav decides to try a different target

 said target crits em right in the face

cav reinforcements keep occurring. There’s also allied cav reinforcements but they mostly exist to screw up my formation

The rest pile on Ace, who gives 0 fucks

fuck you guys

the enemy AI hasn’t lost its penchant for targeting allied units, slowing the slaughter down further but also drawing heat off my weakened units

oh yeah, I forgot about this!

now there’s some REAL prepromote stats

arthur is so fucking underleveled at this point, I kinda feel bad

fuck you. Literally the only thing Storm has on Zach is a point of Skill and a unique weapon

Fun fact: Liquid apparently has innate Lethality.

Emma tops Sai off for the one stat she actually needs, besides Luck

Tekun decides Effective Damage is not enough, and crits the shit out of a poor cavalier

She’s close

oh shit i didn’t realize this druid moved

ed saves me some charges by critting on the first hit and OHKOing this Druid. He gets a weapon level and a renamed Luna tome for his trouble

Rex kills a Merc for a fantastic level

Mark caps out okay.

Kevin actually doubles this sad fighter, though he misses both times

man tekun’s underleveled

ZACH

in another universe this was skill-speed, I’ll take either

Kelik tells this Sage to get bent

i’m sure we’ll find someone who wants this

Liquid wastes the Sniper...okay

Also, jfc, that’s on the middling-low side of HP considering our crew

we snag Kelik and Althare’s B Rank

Tamiko tops Tekun off

Tamiko now has more HP than Liquid, who is a Berserker

incredible boss

Karina kills a reinforcement for a good level

so I totally forgot to bring Risk’s recruiter. Oh well.

Kevin, I still love you, but I need more than this. I only have one Amulet.

Funfact: i brought the Seal Silence staff but didn’t use it once. Oh well.

get fucked

And Kelik caps speed!

there’s plot, but otherwise we’re done