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zionmantis · 1 year

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I would love to hear about how the DE speaks to your experiences with psychosis!

DE seems to be an attempt to represent thinking through game/story mechanics, and I really appreciate that it doesn’t seem to just represent “normal” thought but also neurodivergent or dysfunctional thoughts. Made me feel seen, so I’d love to hear how it made you feel, if it’s something you’d want to share!

Ah, thanks for the ask! I hope my tags on your post didn't seem rude; reading back I was so worried they did <3 You made an absolutely wonderful post; I wouldn't have reblogged it if I didn't love it. I'm ADHD too, and it's so great to see a character we can relate with and to see how positive reinforcement from a person like Kim can really make a difference.

Excuse me while I ramble a bit! This is stuff I want to post about all the time but I worry people will hate it, so questions like this really make me happy because it gives me an excuse x)

One of the reasons I adore this game more than any other is that it's both breathtakingly sad as well as absolutely hysterical, and humor is how I've started approached my issues of mental illness in the past. Now, that way is not for everyone; some people don't want any sort of laughter at it, and that's completely valid and makes perfect sense, but humor is just how I've been able to adjust to memories of really bad times in my life without completely hating myself. For me, the game does a really good job of making a hard subject funny without making it seem like we're laughing AT Harry, if that makes sense, even if we think some of his antics are hilarious. I also love love love that that humor is also tackling the, mmm, less "romantic" (?I'm not sure that's the word I want to use for this...maybe "palatable"?) issues that can come with severe mental illness. Like if I remember right, there's a nonstandard ending where Harry can end up living under a bridge and throwing his own shit at people who pass by, pff.

For me it was a surprise to come into this fandom and find that not everyone sees what he's going through as being psychosis (same with ADHD; he absolutely has that, at least to me). I've seen a couple people -- I think it was on Reddit -- argue that what Harry experiences is not psychosis and is just a manifestation of his thought processes and impulsive behavior, and for me that is just...wild xD (and I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but it's fun to discuss, I think?)

But here's the deal for me: if someone sticks their thumb up their ass in public because their friend dared them to and they think it will be funny, that's impulsive behavior. If someone sticks their thumb up their ass in public because a voice in their head told them it would make them a better detective, that's a delusion.

So what does that have to do with me? Well, for me, I have a rare diagnosis of OCD with psychotic features, and (gonna put the rest of this under a cut in case it's triggering for people to read about psychotic episodes)

mine, before being involuntarily (but needed at the time) hospitalized twice and properly medicated, tended to be things like...I would think my limbs were detaching themselves from my body, or one time I wouldn't open my eyes for literally almost two days because I thought all sharp-cornered objects would cut them. Hallucinations would involve seeing what I thought was my skin being pulled as my limbs detached and occasional auditory hallucinations of crowds in my head (where I'd then think they were trying to tell me something Important and drive myself crazy sitting and listening to unreal crowd burble noises), but none of the stuff fiction likes to show because it's easier to depict (never had voices in my head telling me to do stuff or saw a super clear hallucination of a person or monster unless you count sleep paralysis. There were occasional shadows and vague faces that move in walls which I still get when I'm extra tired, but the only times I ever thought those things were real was when my brain was telling me I was receiving otherworldly messages.) There were other things, too, behavioral stuff I'd rather not talk about because it's still so shameful for me.

I thankfully respond really well to medication, which is especially good since OCD with psychosis is notoriously hard to treat since the types of drugs for OCD vs. psychosis seem to do the exact opposite things and block one another.

Anyway, back to DE. This is a bit...shallow, but it was extremely refreshing to play a game where the main character is at least as big of a disaster as me, if not worse xD;. I FEEL SO SEEN, haha, and not only that, but it's a protagonist in an extremely popular game, and fans like him anyway??? That's fantastic. I never thought I'd see the day.

Now, why does he have psychosis -- as in what diagnosis? I'm not sure, but I don't think it'd be OCD with psychotic features like me (even if he potentially has OCD, which I'll discuss in a moment.) I'd say he probably has bipolar 1 and/or (since not unusual to be comorbid), schizophrenia, though I lean more toward bipolar 1 even though the game itself says the word "schizophrenia" out loud a couple times. (To be clear, I'm not a mental health professional, but I don't think the writers of DE are, either. I would also like to say that if anyone reading this is schizophrenic and feel that Harry is as well, your opinion is way more valid than my own and I'd love to hear from you.)

I lean toward bipolar 1 because of the obvious -- he's gone through both manic and depressive stages in the past and does so in the game with a ton of delusional thinking combined with (short-lived or skin-deep) inflated sense of self (Superstar Cop, Honor Cop, etc.) It's also well known that folks with bipolar tend to self medicate. It's less well known that bipolar often has psychotic features as well.

As for an argument for schizophrenia, I'd point toward Apocalypse Cop, that paranoid delusion (??? mmaaaaybe, haha,) about the world ending (I really only know about paranoid schizophrenia; I don't know much about the other types, so it's entirely possible Harry has one of those instead,) as well as his lack of awareness about hygiene, though that could maybe be explained by his amnesia and the fact he was on a days-long bender before the game started. The reason I'm a little bit hesitant toward it is because Harry seems too aware of his own problems and the fact that he is not experiencing life the way most other people do, (he actually questions Kim at the beginning if Kim also hears voices,) and the couple people I met in the hospital that had schizophrenia were (when still adjusting to medications or had yet to find something that would work for them,) really unable to have that kind of self-awareness.

As for the OCD, I'm not as sure of that for him like I am with ADHD and either his bipolar and/or schizophrenia, but I think there's some pretty good arguments to be made. To me, Harry's constant harping on things that no one else thinks is interesting or important is a factor of his ADHD but can *feel* like OCD, but more so when he is stuck in verbal loops, which could definitely actually be OCD rather than, say, brain damage, since he seems to be aware that he's doing it. Some of the more bullying Skills also feel SO much like OCD, the ones telling him to do things that are nonsensical and that he doesn't actually seem to want to do feels like -- just for one of my many, many non-hallucinatory, fully OCD moments in my life -- when I just had to put a lit match in my mouth because if I didn't, *everyone I love would die,* pff. (Spoiler alert: it burns and it tastes weird.) Actually, I'm just now realizing why Authority may have been one of my least favorite Skills, as funny as its situations could get (ICE COP HAT FUCK SHOW?!??!?)

Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long answer to your question, @linisiane, but it made me so happy you asked! I really appreciate your question. This game is so good for making most people with any kind of neurodivergence feel good. I think it might be the most important fictional thing (for my own well-being) I've ever found. There's so much you can say about it. In fact, I know I've forgotten some stuff I wanted to talk about, but oh well! I can always add or something later if I feel like it. If anyone has any questions about this, you're very free to ask me. I'm also super excited to start talking to more people in the DE fandom; I have yet to convince any of my friends to play it for more than ten minutes.

I love y'all so much! I mean it. This fandom is great.

#disco elysium

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tracybirds · 1 year

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It's New Year's Eve!!

I just wanted to take a little time to reflect on the year and celebrate it and say a ginormous thank you to everyone who has taken the time to drop by around here!! It's been a blast getting to share the Thunderbirds love and I love writing for TAG so much!!

This year had some major highs and lows for me which we're not going to dwell on, because the most important and fun thing is the spreadsheet I set up at the beginning of the year has had it's final update and I have numbers and graphs to happily geek out about!!! Naturally there's some skew - particularly with anything pertaining to AO3 since fics published earlier have had more time in circulation but still, I think it's made for a pretty good overview :D

Numbers and sappy feelings and reflections and things under the cut (there's even some pretty pie charts)

I published 45 separate works this year - many were short ficlets and subsequently gathered into the Thunderbirds Snippets collection which was the "fic" that overall had the most engagement (pretty impressive when you consider the collection only has AO3 stats!). This came to a total of 43,456 published words for complete stories (plus a whole slew for wips! At least another 20,000 is languishing in other documents :D We'll see those come out to play soonish, I'm sure)

As is usual for me, the overwhelming majority of fic this year was short oneshot stories. In fact I didn't finish any multichapter stories this year! Just didn't have the time for that kind of commitment for most of the year :D I also relied a lot on people giving me prompts and I'm endlessly grateful to them (especially @janetm74 and @katblu42 who sent me prompts nearly every time I asked!). I would have spent a lot more time feeling sorry for myself and languishing in writer's block without them bolstering me along <3

As you can see, I did make a fic genre graph, but I'll be honest - this is something I need to tweak for next year because I don't feel the genres well reflect what I actually wrote. This is partially because I only made space for each fic to have one genre, and partially because I dont think the genres I picked well described the writing I did. But looking it over, there's a clear emphasis on family dynamics and the ups and downs that go along with them and I do think that's my favourite part of writing.

When looking over the characters that called to me the most this year - Virgil's our clear winner! Which I think is hilarious because I feel like I wrote with a large Scott emphasis at the start of the year and a large John emphasis towards the end. But the numbers don't lie!! I think partially guiding this is that I wrote a lot more drabbles for Virgil (and Gordon.... lots of them two together!), but Scott and John got more substantial stories on the whole. Maybe. I'd need to check the raw data :D

In terms of people - I am totally blown away by how generous people have been reading my work <3 I see you and it's an absolutely humbling thing to see the same names cropping up over and over again, returning to read my stories which I don't often have a lot of confidence in (fake it 'til you make it, right?). Somehow getting an overview of the whole year only reinforces that and across AO3 and Tumblr I have nearly 4000 thank yous to say; one for every like, kudos, comment, hit, reblog, reply, whatever <3 Many many of which are being given to the same people over and over again, you guys literally rock hardcore and when I think about that number I'm literally so overwhelmed. It's easy to post something that only gets a couple of notes or kudos or whatever and feel discouraged, but when you look at the whole picture? Unreal <3

Now for the fun part; I've gone and taken all that data and figured out what my top 5 most popular fics of the year have been (excluding the snippet/prompt collections :D) so here goes!

Consequences [tumblr] | [AO3]

Cave In [tumblr] | [AO3]

But Not Forgotten [tumblr] | [AO3]

Roommates [tumblr] | [AO3]

The First Time [tumblr] | [AO3] and Hard Places [tumblr] | [AO3] (tied!)

Hey did you know typing [ tumblr ] did that? New things learnt every day lol...

Amazingly, these didn't line up with MY favourites nearly at all! So I've listed my personal top 5 stories below <3

Capture Comfort [tumblr] | [AO3]

The Scare Floor [tumblr] | [AO3]

Consequences [tumblr] | [AO3]

"Prompt Generator #5" [tumblr] | [AO3]

Different Universes [tumblr] | [AO3]

I'm not much for goal setting; it reminds me too much of school and sitting in stupid form classes with zero ideas as to what to say because apparently writing "I want to do my best and enjoy myself" wasn't a good enough goal. So instead I have some ~~intentions~~ that I'd like to carry into 2023 <3

Get better at replying to comments >///< I don't mean to ignore people and I know most of you know that but I do think replying to comments is! an important aspect of community building in fandom and I've neglected my part in that :P I love you all I swear and there's a lot of people I'd like to get to know better <3

Deep breaths here because this one does scare me - I want to write and finish Where Parallel Lines Meet. The scope of this fic scares me but I do love it and I know that it's going to push me a lot. It's going to be great though <3

ARCHIVE AS I GO LIKE WHY DO I NOT DO THAT (it's the titles rip)

This one isn't writing - I just want to rewatch Thunderbirds :D

Finally I've got some specific people to thank. You've all been amazing and kind to me this year and I'm giving you all the giant-est hug. You're also all incredible storytellers and writers and artists in your own right and I am genuinely so thankful to know you all <3

@gumnut-logic - I know I say this constantly but I LOVE getting to geek out about all sorts of different things and I have to say thank you for reading over so many of my fics and picking me up when I think that they're terrible <3 You're the bestest friend and I'm very lucky to have met you :D

@katblu42 - I love your very cheery chats that we've gotten to have, lots of laughter and fun and you always have such sensible advice it's great. Thank you for diving in and not missing a beat when I get randomly dramatic about whatever I'm writing because even when I've completely failed to explain the context you always seem to know exactly what's what :D

@janetm74 - you've been such an incredible cheerleader and every time (because you've done it multiple times!!) that you go through my AO3 and read stuff and comment in quick succession is always so exciting and overwhelming because what the heck?? Remember those 4000 thank yous I have to give - I'm pretty sure at least a thousand of them are yours <3 Thank you as well for sending me all the fun space things you think I'll enjoy and also for egging me on when I'm spouting off silly ideas in response :D I'll need to give them all a proper go someday!!

@gaviiadastra, @the-original-sineater, @godsliltippy, @mariashades, @amistrio - I've so enjoyed getting to know you all this year - you're all amazing writers and totally inspiring and very kind to boot :D I love how unique you all are and how you all bring such amazing ideas to life and I have to say thank you for both chatting with me but also for sharing all your wonderful work <3

@squiddokiddo thank you for be a very consistent source of encouragement and fountain of kindness when I'm having down days in my personal life. You didn't know me at all but that never stopped you from reaching out and checking in and given that this year was beyond shitty in many various different ways it meant the world in ways that I didn't always know how to express <3

oh and there's so many more people - I've had the good fortune to make some amazing friends and I love you all very much.

I don't think I'll get the current chapter I'm working on done today, so this will likely be my final post of the year (although lol I'm sure I'll still be mucking around on my main) and I KNOW this is sappy and you're not meant to put emotion into the data, but it's pretty damn difficult when the numbers are made up out of friendship and people reaching out from across the globe to say "hey, me too <3"

So see you all in 2023!! I can't wait :D

#sometimes i'm a sap #that's all there is to this post #numbers and sap #in case you choose not to read this (bc fair enough it's long)#allow me to wave from here and say thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's read any of my fic this year I see you and I love you #have a great end of the year <3

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potatolordofficial · 1 year

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I posted 9,519 times in 2022

That's 9,382 more posts than 2021!

69 posts created (1%)

9,450 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@awellboiledicicle

@kitchenelf

@multi-lefaiye

@wherearetheplants

@albatris

I tagged 500 of my posts in 2022

#dracula - 58 posts

#friend art - 50 posts

#destiny 2 - 47 posts

#ask game - 35 posts

#ask game answers - 34 posts

#goncharov - 33 posts

#unreality - 21 posts

#ref - 19 posts

#inferno wip - 15 posts

#multi lefaiye - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#gordon introduces himself as a confirmed bachelor and dante is working through language and cultural barriers as well as brain damage

My Top Posts in 2022:

Gonna begin asking people who post about transandrophobia not being a thing if they were aphobes in 2016

6 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

bc ive been playing minecraft a lot lately on my brother's realm i've got a map mod so i can see the surrounding region and boy howdy so we're on the tundra island right, we've lovingly named it antarctica

here’s the map for reference

i thought 'hey, i wonder what's around us' and went exploring found a lot of continents (or so i thought) so i went further, realized they're all part of one supercontinent that's surrounding us, and we're in an inland sea

another interesting note, there are a lot of shipwrecks, ocean monuments, underwater ruins, ruined nether portals, all those things none of them are on or around antarctica so whoever came before us did not settle at all on this island, and i don't know why there are a couple little villages, so it's hospitable to villagers, but not to whatever our precursors were

6 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

Hey bestie it's me here to hand deliver a gas station blorbos ramble!!! Thank you for your participation!! Okay so I had to think a little about something I don't think I've told you about already (<3), and I think I will tell you about one of the original creepypastas that I love and adore. It's about the time Jack and Jerry get kidnapped by an old classmate of Jack's.

So the whole thing is about like. This guy, Beaux, kidnapped these two to sacrifice them and summon an ancient god. Thing is, he doesn't know what he's doing, and they're both unafraid and unimpressed. They spend most of the time heckling him, while he gets more and more agitated.

A running joke here is that Beaux is like. Incredibly racist and nasty. He believes people of color are the reason for all of his problems and he's the epitome of a white cishet man with a persecution/victim complex. I have no pity for him.

Anyway Beaux thinks he kills the part-timer he kidnapped with them, but the part-timer wakes up, punches him in the face, and runs away. Beaux fails to catch him, and he has a fit about how Jack and Jerry are being so difficult and his life has been nothing but suffering. Eventually, Beaux decides to sacrifice himself to summon the god, but he's too afraid to go through with it.

Jerry very enthusiastically offers to kill Beaux instead--Beaux wants to die and Jerry wants to kill him, so it's a win-win! And Beaux accepts. He lets Jerry out, boasting about how Jerry could never have the guts to hurt someone, and Jerry cuts him off by shooting him in the leg. The god comes and drags Beaux to another dimension, and Jerry stops it from taking him and Jack too by peeing on the portal. I'm not kidding.

Anyway yeah Jack and Jerry get to go home with minimal injury!!!

I’m fucking honking what is this series

6 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

p,,, perhaps Dante with 👔?

perhaps...

his daughter gave him the shirt and he loves it

8 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[points at you] tell me about a blorbo. you have ten seconds /s

(jokes aside hi i want to hear about ur ocs pls and thank u, i just don't have specific questions in mind)

Blorbo…

Anyway I’m gonna talk about Renfield bc he’s always on my mind so, cw for body horror, cannibalism, and corpse talk under the cut

Ren is from Inferno, and is the ‘mouser’ in Gordon’s Ridge, the main town the story takes place in. By mouser I mean he eats rats and mice after chasing them on all fours.

He’s not human! In-text no one is sure what he is (except his partner Jordan). He’s actually a parasitic worm that’s attached to the brain of his dead bf. Because of this, he looks anemic and kind of waxy. Like a bad embalming job.

Worms need to eat flesh to survive, and often eat people; they don’t see the issue and don’t distinguish between meats. They’re not human, after all, so that’s not part of their outlook.

He’s also not fully developed; worms like him live in large colonies where they all work to protect the egg clutches and stores of corpses kept preserved for the new worms to live in. However, he was separated from his family in 1700s Britain during one of the Jacobite wars (I can’t remember if I ever specified exactly) and began wandering trying to find them.

Instead he found his first partner, Justin, (who belongs to my partner) who later died, and Renfield switched his old corpse out for his boyfriend’s in an attempt to save him. It didn’t work.

Eventually he stowed away across the Atlantic and ended up in Boston in the 1800s, where he met Jordan. They entered a relationship and, when Jordan left their home, the two headed west.

Ren is very animated, and is mostly gentle, he loves petting soft animals, playing in the dirt, and basking. Another worm has referred to him as a ‘lamb with fangs’, as the gentle aspects of his personality contrast the part where he needs to hunt to survive, and is very good at killing.

He tries to befriend people, but humans interacting with him have their fight or flight response triggered because of the way he moves is just outside of normal for the human brain. Inhumans (the term for supernatural creatures) don’t have this problem.

Also! He just didn't have a name for a while, either he wasn't given one or he forgot it, but he just didn't have a name for a while (he probably went by pseudonyms). Then Jordan read Dracula to him and he latched onto the name Renfield. (as an in-universe reason why he's named that when in reality i named him that as a joke)

12 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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selezione-innaturale · 3 years

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Music Shuffle

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! No skipping!

I was tagged by @regina-del-cielo, so can I really pull myself out of it? (I’ve had tag games in my draft for MONTHS I know aaaaa)

I have a youtube playlist which, in an impulse of creativity, I named “my music“, so I’m going to go with that.

Sono Così Indie 2018 - Lo Stato Sociale The title means “I’m so indie”, but rest reassured, I’m not! It’s the 2018 sequel of a song from 2010, with the same title They had to make a sequel because in the meantime they became famous, which is not a very indie thing. Best line: “Punctuality is a pain in the ass, it’s a product of capitalism”

No Tengo Dinero - Righeira GOD YES that is or has been my favorite song! Righeira were an Italian duo of pop/electro who sang in Spanish. You may know them for Vamos a la playa, also in my playlist. The song is awesome and makes me feel like I’m floating in the clouds, but what you really want to see is the video. It’s a mixed technique video made with the rotoscope and it’s so 80′s it’s unreal. If you ask me, best music video ever tied with On Your Mark, which was animated by studio Ghibli, so there’s that.

POP/STARS - K/DA ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Jaira Burns YT is apparently doing everything at his disposal to discredit me. This is a music video in which female characters from League of Legends (which I don’t play) sing, voiced by kpop stars. Believe me, if someone makes me experience both kpop and LoL it must be good

Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite One of the funkiest and craziest videos ever. It’s from 1990, and it has aptly described as “the moment the 80′s turned into the 90′s”. May it suffice to say that I’ve got it saved on a playlist named “ppl who got the moves”

Butterfly - Smile I didn’t even remember I had this. But, really, I have no excuse. (the ddr mega remix is better, though)

Scottish - Le Bour - Bodros Quintet I listen to a lot of folk music. Honestly, this track is just really good! It has a fantastic sax!

Monkey Eats Bananas - Princess Chelsea Part of “the weird part of youtube”. The video is insanely random, but the music is a bop as well!

Posin' - Peggy Suave Kids these days still like electroswing like in 2012, right? I have no idea, but this song became a meme a while ago, so you might recognize it. It was a JoJo meme, I think.

Cellphone's Dead - Beck I don’t listen to Beck except for a couple of songs (that’s how I deal with music, I’m lazy), but people say he’s a musical genius and I believe them. There’s also a music video for this song which I saw on MTV when I was a kid and I love it.

Talking To A Stranger - Avalanches Rework [Extended] Remember the Avalanches? Those guys who go to the flea market, pick up random vinyls and remix them? Those behind Frontier Psychiatrist? Yeah, now you remember. It’s them! And they clearly do not just remix old records. This stuff rocks AND it’s great to focus at work.

Tagging no one because it’s midnight, I’ve had a terrible evening at work and I have to go to sleep. If you see this post and you like the idea, consider yourself tagged!

#music #tag game

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abiteofnat · 3 years

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If you’re reading this, I’m coming back to Chicago, beetch

The non-existent rumors are true. After a brief 10-month exit from the city to soak up the fresh air and social distance-friendly suburbs, I am now returning to Chicago as a single, slightly more anxious version of myself. While I’m still trying to kick some of the anxiety and OCD that COVID-19 pushed from “lifelong tagalongs” to “all-controlling demons”, I feel 97% ready to be back where I feel most myself, and cannot wait to welcome that change. While that 3% still makes me a little uncomfy and hesitant, I’m a believer in pushing your boundaries to allow yourself to grow, and also, I am really sick of suburbs food.

Ha! I joke. I wouldn’t move downtown simply for access to more diverse & higher quality food... or would I? All I know is while there are plenty of gems in the North Shore, I’ve eaten take out from all of them ten times over, and I did not foster my dislike of cooking out of nowhere. My parents do not enjoy cooking, my sister pretends to enjoy cooking, and I will cook if it is 5 ingredients or less. My latest speciality is a toasted bagel with butter, hummus, and EBTB seasoning. Voila. So when it comes to dinner, we are living off of a carousel of suburban favorites, and are losing steam as we are still not comfortable with dining inside (or dining inside in the city, where the fun food is).

All of this to say, it’s exciting to imagine what life is going to be like in a few short weeks. While I’m still extra precautionary, I can’t wait to have my own space downtown, where I can enjoy coffee on my little balcony (!!!) and dream of the days friends can come squeeze into my studio safely while I lay out an entire table of sharable spreads and snacks from Ema (Charred Eggplant Spread is the best one, don’t fight me).

So you may ask, how did you come to this decision to move to the heart of downtown out of seemingly nowhere, you hermit?

It starts with my mom and I having a brief, simultaneous breakdown and coming to the conclusion that we would both feel comfortable doing a staycation downtown, as long as we wore masks, sanitized always, and braved the cold to eat outside. This was big for me! As a person with real OCD, not cute TV show “I have to keep my pens straight” OCD, this would be the most exposure I’d had to a lot of uncontrollable variables since the pandemic started. If you’re thinking, “you get to spend a weekend downtown in a hotel with your mom, shut up”, know that I hear you. I am unbelievably grateful that I’ve gotten this time with my parents, and that we can do a staycation. However, having anxiety comes at a cost, and that cost is blowing everything way the fuck out of proportion instead of being able to rationalize it sometimes. Let’s! Normalize! Having! This! Discussion!

So, we went downtown in early March for a two-night stay, and oh my goodness. The realization that we got to be in a different space, and do different things, and eat different food for a weekend made it feel like a legit vacation, and not like we drove 30 minutes to get there. The view from our room was of Michigan Ave, and hearing the traffic and seeing the people out and about instantly made me feel a sense of peace I wasn’t expecting. I’ve lived downtown for 6 years, but it always shocks me how much the city feels like an extension of me once I’m in it after being away. My mom and I went out for a walk (gentle yet forceful reminder to please wear a mask), then decided to grab dinner while we were out. The plan was to bring it back to the room, but there was a warm spell, and there just happened to be a table for two at Topolobampo on Clark, and suddenly we were sitting on the patio under the lights eating masa quesadillas dipped in a spicy salsa verde. It just happened!!!

Before getting downtown, I was tentatively looking at apartments for the spring. I was looking at Lincoln Park, Old Town, maybe Lakeview, and came across a listing in the Gold Cost that caught my eye. That one was swiped out from under me within days, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the area. Then I discovered another unit that was available, and couldn’t shake it from my mind. Over mushroom tacos I discussed it with my mom, and we decided to go see it. Totally not what I had been planning for in terms of location, but why not?

Once we polished off breakfast the next morning (Eggs Benedict with fried eggs, extra hollandaise) we headed out to see the place. Let me say I have never seen my mom fall in love with a single apartment I’ve lived in, and she was ALL. FOR. IT. Unreal reaction on her part. Once I saw the west-facing views and the incredible natural lighting, I was 100% in as well.

We spent the rest of the weekend wandering the downtown area, enjoying another dinner outside at The Gwen and my mom’s first visit to the Starbucks Reserve Roastery, which was 95% more empty than I’ve ever seen it given we went in a pandemic at 8:30PM. Shit on Starbucks all you want, but that Roastery is an incredible use of space (in non-pandemic times) and the coffee & Princi pastries are really, really good.

When we got back home feeling refreshed and like we had actually gone on a vacation, I jumped into apartment shark mode real fast and signed as many documents as the very kind realtor could send over. One week later, whabaam, I was a Gold Coast girl. Ahem, *lady*. What better way to celebrate than going to Somerset and having the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread and Wild Mushroom Risotto? No clue. As I sat outside, yet again with my mom, I felt a wave of excitement come over me and realized, this is it. This is the sign and feeling I’ve been waiting for, telling me it’s time to move back to the city and start over. The creamy, herbacious risotto also helped solidify that.

SO. After all of that, the news is I’m moving, and you’re probably wondering why I shared all of this on a blog about food. I meant for this post to be about everywhere I ate during my staycation, but realized quickly we ate at some very basic places - DELICIOUS, but still basic. Oops. Below are all the dishes I had and a rundown of the flavors, textures, etc., however don’t expect to find any new, revolutionary restaurants. Sorry!

1. Topolobampo

This Rick Bayless restaurant has been around forever, and unfortunately, you can tell by the interior. We’ve eaten here as a family a couple of times before, but never had a noteworthy experience. I can confirm that in a pinch, the patio covered in fun lights & mini piñatas, and the sharable, filling bites will do just fine. This was my first time going to a Mexican restaurant as a non-alcohol drinker, and instead of my typical mezcal margarita, I opted for a Fresh Limeaide which was refreshing and flavorful. We split the Guacamole and Chips, which if you’ve ever stopped at the Frontera in O’Hare, you know is good as fuck. It’s smooth, creamy, tangy, and topped with chopped onions and cilantro for a little crunch. It’s not the most life-changing, but it is consistently satisfying. Next, we got the Mushroom Tacos and Masa Quesadillas. The Masa Quesadillas were a fun surprise, as instead of a tortilla, the masa is what makes up the outside. They are almost like empanadas and stuffed with gooey, melty cheese, and come with a spicy salsa verde on the side. I would come back for these alone - they’re rich yet light, warm, and comforting, all the things you would want when dining outside when it’s still a little chilly. The Mushroom Tacos were quite frankly unreal, because whatever they seasoned the mushroom slices with and grilled them on made them taste unlike any mushroom I’ve had before. There was definitely some meat crossover on the grill, so don’t order those if you’re vegan, or ask them to prepare the mushroom separately. I however was LOSING MY MIND. Over mushrooms. The joys of being vegetarian!

2. The Gwen

On a happening Saturday night in Chicago, Upstairs at The Gwen is sure to be a packed scene. Located in River North, this hotel bar/restaurant offers a somehow cozy rooftop filled with loungey couches, fire pits, and ambient lighting, even though you’re surrounded by apartments and skyscrapers and there is nothing “cozy” about River North. Every table was filled, yet since you’re outside and it’s fairy spread apart, it still felt safe. I got my new classic, a Lemonade, and we got the Burrata to start. With sourdough, roasted beets, squash, pomegranate, pistachio, & arugula, this plate was nothing short of mouth-watering. It has textures! It has flavors! It has pomegranate seeds, the TikTok must have of the moment! The bread was 10/10, the burrata was 8/10, and all of the toppings made for a very find bite of salad on their own. For my main I got the Lobster Fettucine, a beautiful bowl of “charcoal fettuccine with saffron-tomato sauce, lobster, calabrian chili butter, and basil-brioche crumbs” as listed on their website. Take any of those ingredients and it’s going to be delicious, but all of them TOGETHER? INCREDIBLE. The chunks of lobster were huge, absolutely making the dish worth its price tag, and the sauce was flavorful, unique, and unlike any sauce I’ve tasted in the last few years. It’s typical to do a squid ink pasta with seafood and tomato sauce, but the saffron added a new element I very much appreciated.

3. The Starbucks Roastery

I KNOW. THIS IS A TOURIST DESTINATION. All I am saying is if there’s no line, go get an iced latte with two packets of sugar in the raw. That’s all. It’s really good after something like, I don’t know, Lobster Fettucine.

4. The Penninsula

You cannot go wrong with hitting up The Penninsula for breakfast or brunch, especially if you are staying there and have the option to do room service. Typically we would go to Pierrot Gourmet, the cafe in the ground floor of The Penninsula, however it has been closed temporarily. If there’s one thing to order with your breakfast, it’s the smashed fingerling potatoes. Delish.

5. Somerset

Somerset is becoming a quick go-to of mine for an impromptu dinner downtown, given it’s in the heart of Gold Coast and is cute if you’re sitting indoors or outdoors. The food is nothing too innovative, but it is done well, which is the most important part with “cuter” restaurants that may focus on the Instagram appeal over the food sometimes. Each time I’ve gone I’ve gotten the seasonal flatbread and a pasta or risotto, usually something with mushrooms, and it’s always been plate-licking good. To drink, I got -you guessed it- a Lemonade! For dinner I went with the Wild Mushroom Risotto which was everything you could hope for in a risotto, topped with olive oil, herbs, and local parmesan. We split the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread which was as it sounds, flatbread covered in rapini, garlic, and ricotta, which added a nice crunch and had enough rapini to feel like it was replacing a boring vegetable side dish or salad. The patio vibes were wonderful, the judgemental girls in the greenhouses looked like they were having a good time, and our waiter couldn’t have been sweeter. I will be going back to try the Fontina Arancini, which I just noticed on the menu. FRICK.

So there you have it, a very long-winded explanation of the last few weeks of my life and where you can find me on a staycation in Chicago. Hopefully once I move back to the city I’ll have endless new spots to try and won’t be basic anymore!

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

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fanficflaneuse · 4 years

Text

One Day - Part 12

Tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @naomi02hook @iliketoast23 @winnsmills @oldfashionedlovergirlsblog @happycomb @xtrashmouthxtozierx @hopplessdreamer @dracoxxyoflam @cleopatera @hess016

(Sentimental A/N at the end)

Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) Word count: 1587 Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

3 May, 2012

Minerva McGonagall had decided that this year’s commemoration of the Battle of Hogwarts would be the best they would ever have. Those who attended had always made the it a very beautiful affair, yet it was, often than not, solemn and sad. Even if it felt like too much to ask for, the headmistress truly wanted the day to go be pleasant – a celebration of life rather than a remembrance of death.

The night of May the 2nd, Hogwarts opened its doors once again, this time for a feast. As the Great Hall filled with former students and other members of the wizarding community, excitement lingered in the air. It reminded McGonagall of the enthusiasm of first years. Everyone was dressed up in elegant robes, thrilled of reuniting with old friends and have – for once on this day – a good time.

Draco had never been to one of those ceremonies. Even when (Y/N) had insisted all of those years ago, he felt like it wasn’t his place to be. This year, though, he decided to go. He said it was for her, but in reality, there was a deeper longing to make peace with that place and the people he never had the chance to apologize to.

“We can leave whenever you get tired.” Even if he tried to hide it, the distress was evident in his voice.

(Y/N) gave him a reassuring smile. She knew that, even after the long process of recovery, he still worried about her. “You’re not backing up, love,” she teased.

He gave her a playful eyeroll in response. “We had a very intense day on that “adventure” with Scorp. I don’t even know why did I ever think that was a good idea. I don’t want you to strain yourself too much,” he said, holding her closer to him.

“You thought that was a good idea because you’re the best father ever,” she noted matter-of-factly, “and I’m not strained and we’re going to have a good time.”

“Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N) – Malfoy,” Headmistress McGonagall greeted them at the door.

(Y/N) smiled softly. After healer Malfoy had deemed her healthy for his standards, they had gotten married. It was a very intimate wedding with their closest friends and family in the gardens of Malfoy manor. They had adopted each other’s last name and made a point to be referred to as such.

“Where shall we seat, headmistress?” Draco asked.

“Wherever you see fit. No houses today,” she answered excitedly.

As they entered to the Great Hall, the couple was greeted with hugs and cheers. If someone had told eighteen years old Draco he’d have such a reception in his alma mater, he would’ve laughed. Through the years, though, most people had changed their perceptions of him. He was healer Malfoy, who would stay afterhours if it meant some comfort to his patients. He was the Malfoy heir who’d hand out donations for different charities without ulterior motives. He was a friend to a lot of his former “enemies”. He was Scorpius’ proud father and (Y/N)’s loving husband. Draco had finally redeemed himself and could walk through Hogwarts with his head high, even if it triggered some very unhappy memories.

Hermione was the first one to spot them. She waved at them and soon they were surrounded by the Potter-Granger-Weasley clan on the far end of the Ravenclaw table. (Y/N) spotted Luna and Rolf Scammander on the same table, as well as Hannah and Neville and Pansy, Blaise and Daphne. On the other side of the room, from the Slytherin table, Astoria and Theo smiled at them. From the Hufflepuff table, Ernie waved at her. He was sitting with Cho, Justin and Susan. She also spotted Seamus with his husband Dean, talking to the Parvati twins and Lavender Brown. (Y/N) felt like she was living one of those happy endings from the muggle movies they would occasionally watch. Sitting by her husband, surrounded by her friends, no fear and nothing but good news on their way. It was all a bit unreal, in the best possibly way.

By midnight, Harry and Headmistress McGonagall had delivered the speeches, they drank a toast to the fallen and the feast was already over. People were already leaving and those who remained were laughing and remembering their days at Hogwarts.

“Come with me,” Draco whispered in (Y/N)’s ear.

“Where?”

“Trust me,” he answered with a smirk.

They said goodbye to their friends and left the Great Hall. (Y/N) thought they would apparate back home, but Draco surprised her by pulling her towards the stairs. Her smile grew wide as she realized they were on the fourth floor and walking towards that windowsill that marked their lives forever.

They stood there, quietly for a second. Draco then climbed on it and opened his arms for her. (Y/N) chuckled before sitting with him. His embrace was gentler than ever. He had always treated her with care, but after the assault it had become ten times more delicate. As their limbs tangled together, as they did every day now, (Y/N) remembered more than ever that day fourteen years ago.

…

“Draco!” Narcissa’s voice was firm, but loaded with fear.

“Son, where are you?” Lucius seemed desperate.

Draco and (Y/N) were watching the sunrise, cuddling together. He was playing with one of her locks. At the sound of the voices he could distinguish very well, they – very much unwillingly – untangled their stiff limbs. He climbed down the windowsill and she stretched her arms. He found her adorable and for a second there he couldn’t believe they had snuggled all night long.

They looked at each other, like recognizing themselves for the first time. Draco thought that he might find rejection in her eyes, but he only found tenderness. And tenderness he gave back. (Y/N) was overwhelmed by such a strange mix of feelings. There she had the one and only Draco Malfoy, resident bully and death eater, smiling to her, watching her as though she was the most precious woman on earth. She felt like she should hate him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. One night of caresses and silent conversations had given her a whole new perspective on Draco and she wanted more of it.

As the voices came nearer, (Y/N) moved her hand to his hair. She smoothed it. Her touch was appeasing.

“Hey, Malfoy,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face.

“Yes?”

“I don’t hate you.” It sounded stupid once she said it, but it was also liberating somehow.

He smiled genuinely. “I don’t hate you too, (Y/L/N)”.

Soon, the elder Malfoys found the two teenagers holding hands. Narcissa eyed them carefully. Hadn’t she been so worried about Draco’s wellbeing, she would’ve smiled at such a heartwarming scene.

“Draco, let’s go,” Lucius called, his voice wavering.

Draco stood up straighter. He nodded subtly at (Y/N) and walked to his parents, ready to leave. The three Malfoys disappeared down the corridor, leaving (Y/N) to deal with the butterflies in her stomach. She turned around to face the sunrise again, wondering what she’d say to her friends.

As Draco walked with his parents, he couldn’t conceal the smile on his face.

“Who is she?” Lucius asked.

“She’s just a friend,” he answered, trying to be nonchalant.

“Yeah, just a friend,” Narcissa teased.

Draco stopped on his tracks. His parents looked at him, mocking smiles on their faces.

“Wait a minute, okay?” He hadn’t finished saying this and his feet were already taking him back to (Y/N).

“Hey! Long time no see,” she taunted as he stood, once again, in front of her.

“Would you give me your address? To owl you?” he asked hesitantly.

It warmed her heart to see him so disarmed and clumsy. She conjured paper and a quill out of thin air and copied her address. They looked at each affectionately. Draco leaned forward, their noses almost touching.

“Are we friends?” he blurted out. He cringed inwardly at how desperate that must have sounded.

(Y/N) closed the gap between them. It was a little awkward and incredibly sweet, just their lips touching, moving in synch at a very slow pace. (Y/N)’s hand travelled to his cheek, his fingers crawled to her hair. (Y/N) smiled into the kiss as she felt electricity running around them. Draco’s heart was about to leap off his chest.

When they pulled away, Draco pecked her lips softly a couple of times again until she giggled.

“Friends,” (Y/N) agreed happily.

…

“So, we really had our first kiss right here,” Draco said in awe.

“Are we friends?” (Y/N) mocked.

He placed a kiss on her temple. “Merlin, I don’t know, darling. What do you think?” his dashing smile warmed (Y/N)’s heart.

“Well, honey, I really hope we are. I don’t want to be running the (Y/L/N) – Malfoy quidditch team on my own,” she said. This was definitely not the way she wanted to break the news to him, but she figured it was more in their style.

It took Draco no time to register what she had said. He looked at her wide-eyed, completely at a loss for words.

“Seriously?” he asked, happy tears welling his eyes.

(Y/N) nodded vigorously. “No, no tears, my love. We’re very happy today,” she said as she sat up to caress both of his cheeks.

“I’m so happy, (Y/N),” he whispered and gently brought his hand to her belly.

They were soon cuddling again, waiting for the sunrise and feeling pure unaltered bliss.

A/N: This is the end. I hope you liked it! I really couldn’t kill reader, movie be damned. If you’ve reached this far, I really want to thank you. Thank you all for giving me love and support, for reading, liking, rebloging and commenting. Thank you for being kind to me.

My birthday is on Thursday (6 days after Draco omg) so I think I’ll be taking the rest of the week for myself and start posting again over the weekend. If anyone wants me to tag them in my next endeavours (a Draco x reader mini series from a request, a Draco x reader one shot and a Theo x reader one shot) just tell me!

My inbox is open for messages, requests, rants and any conversation you want to have.

Lastly, I’d like to say two things:

1. Trans women are women. We can enjoy the Harry Potter’s books, make sense of them whichever way we want them to, but we cannot take the authorship from J.K. Rowling. We must realize who she is and why she wrote what she wrote.

2. Black lives matter

Have a happy day and a happy life.

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tres-spades-hotel · 4 years

Text

Candy-Floss (An Eisuke x MC Story)

At the end of 2019, @lin-ful hosted a 1 year anniversary competition on the Otome Fanatics Server and... I won! But then I forgot to post the story.... So here it is! Enjoy!

Tags: @leoamber66 @flatsuke

(The link to the server if you want to join will be at the end of the story! Please do not hesitate to join as it is filled with incredible people!)

It all started with a sweet treat. She had a small craving for something and the opportunity presented itself to her. A small candy-floss stall on the side of the road. The sweet clouds were practically calling her name. Evelyn. And she couldn’t resist.

While buying a large candy-floss, a car pulled up behind her. He rarely had to take this route when out for work but there was extreme traffic on his usual way due to severe strikes. His driver recommended this way to avoid the business of London and Eisuke Ichinomiya mumbled an acceptance to the idea. The sleek black car had to stop momentarily but that was all he needed to see her.

Evelyn turned around when she heard a car horn. Eisuke turned his head to look around the area. They made eye contact instantly and for a second something happened. Something unreal. Something strange. She smiled and waved to him. He simply stared before his lips tugged up into a smirk. Evelyn gracefully took the candy-floss and proceeded on her way home. Eisuke’s eyes followed her form until he could no longer see her.

Of course, that wasn’t the end for them. They met again. This time at the IVC in Eisuke’s Tres Spade Hotel. He watched her walk into the room and saw the stares of men. She turned heads with her elegant red dress. The slit on the side teasing everyone in the room, including Eisuke.

He watched her as she talked to various different people, the man by her side introducing his lovely trophy wife. He showed her off but not as well as Eisuke could. He would let everyone know exactly who she belonged to, would have ravaged her the night before to tease her.

‘Looks like she’s married.’ The man in red whispered. Mitsunari Baba’s eye for women never goes unnoticed by Eisuke, and his keenness to know everyone’s business.

‘Who is that man anyway?’ Baba’s sidekick, Ota Kisaki, asked.

‘Another man to do business with.’ Eisuke had heard from other guests about Alan Hudson. He was an aspiring businessman making his way up the ladder. No doubt at the IVC for networking but Eisuke wasn’t interested in Hudson. Rather, he was interested with the woman on his arm. Mrs Evelyn Hudson. The beautiful housewife more knowledgeable of Hudson’s business than her own husband. Alan was a joke, but Evelyn was something else. Something interesting.

Evelyn was a wedding planner, quite known too. She had organised plenty of weddings for small celebrities and is popular for her creativity. Her husband was nothing compared to her. Ten minutes later, Eisuke was shaking hands with Evelyn, feeling her soft hands, and sending her a knowing look. For a tense moment, Evelyn blushed at the sight of Eisuke. His alluring gaze and handsome form were enough to make any woman fall in love but Evelyn fought the emotions. She was, after all, a committed wife.

‘Thank you Mr Ichinomiya for investing in this idea. I promise to deliver to the Tres Spade standard.’ Alan Hudson bowed politely to Eisuke but he was watching Evelyn.

She smiled at him despite what had happened earlier. They were in the conference room when Alan had to leave the room for a phone call. Eisuke was left with Evelyn and things became heated quickly. He had her cornered, hands either side of her body, lips millimetres away from hers. Her eyes darted all over the place before resting on his brown eyes. She could see in her vision his collarbones peeking out from under his dress shirt. Evelyn wanted very badly the danger Eisuke presented. He was bad and he knew it which made her desire rise even more. They were very close to crossing the line when Alan’s voice could be heard outside the door.

Eisuke was surprised by the soft lips on his cheek before watching her hurry back to her chair. Alan came back in and was none the wiser to the intensity between Eisuke and his wife.

The line of coffee shops under the Tres Spade name was an idea proposed by Evelyn, but it didn’t go undetected by Eisuke when Alan proceeded to take credit for his wife’s idea. If there was anything that Eisuke hated most, it was people who thrived on other’s ideas and not their own. So, Eisuke always made it a point to take Evelyn’s opinion. She may have been a wedding organiser, but she could work well in the business sector too.

One day, the Hudson’s and Eisuke visited a potential building to base the shop in. Alan forced Evelyn to stay outside and wander around while he and Eisuke went into the meeting. When Alan left, Eisuke pulled Evelyn by her waist and whispered in her ear.

‘Have a look around. Take note of any details. Tell me privately after.’ Eisuke is like a tornado, Evelyn thought. A force not to be reckoned with, here and gone within a second, a destructive force creating a contradiction in everyone he meets: attracting people to him while repelling others. Eisuke winked at her before leaving.

When she left the building, she breathed a sigh of relief. The area outside was empty and when Evelyn looked up, she was blown away by how breath-taking the building itself was. It was old but sturdy. Standing against anything that the weather could throw at it. Behind the worn sandstone, was a gorgeous sunset. The sky was filled with pastel blue, pink and purple. It looks magical, Evelyn thought. Petals from the cherry blossom trees swayed and flew around her in the pleasant breeze. She spun around, thinking about a certain brunette in purple dancing in the flowers with her. The orange sun continued to slowly set while the flowers danced in the wind.

But little did she know that Eisuke was watching her, smiling at her happiness.

That night, the unbelievable happened. Alan had to go for a prior engagement, so Evelyn was left alone with Eisuke. They talked about the meeting and how the place would be a wonderful experience for customers.

‘What are you doing now?’

‘Going home I suppose. Why?’

Eisuke took Evelyn to a high end restaurant and they had fun. She couldn’t remember the last time she enjoyed going out for a meal. And she enjoyed Eisuke’s foot dragging up her leg while they were eating.

‘Mr Ichinomiya-‘

‘Call me Eisuke.’

‘… Okay Eisuke.’

Evelyn revelled in his attention and, there in their private room, they kissed. He tasted like coffee and she tasted of candy-floss. They were hungry for each other, as if their lives depended on that moment. The next thing Eisuke knew, he was on the bed undressing Evelyn while kissing her ear. That night, Eisuke and Evelyn fell asleep more content than they had felt in a long time.

Evelyn woke up to Eisuke by her side rather than her husband. A sudden guilt washed over her as she hurried to get out of the large bed. But Eisuke pulled her back in and dispelled those feelings of cheating.

That night, Evelyn returned to her suite. She promised herself that she wouldn’t think about the Eisuke. Or his touch, his scent, his lips. Evelyn nearly didn’t notice Alan’s phone light up. She went to pick it up, thinking it was a message about a business project. What she got was very different.

A woman, bare from the chest down, with a wine bottle in her hand and a bath tub filled with red roses. Another message popped up: ‘3 month anniversary, come and get it’. Evelyn couldn’t believe what she saw and dropped the phone. 2 years of marriage down the drain, Evelyn thought to herself. What was worse, was that she knew who that woman was.

Over the next few days, Evelyn avoided Alan like the plague. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She was disgusted at both him and herself. Considering her one-night with Eisuke, Evelyn knew she shouldn’t complain. But then he found out.

‘The preparations for the wedding is going well. I still haven’t been able to secure a venue yet. The…’ she paused and breathed shakily ‘The venue the bride wanted is not available for the date they’re set to get married at. I’m still looking for something else that the couple will like but … it’s a bit of a struggle at the moment.’

‘I’m sure you’ll get a venue for them. Evelyn, I need to tell you something. You see-‘

‘Eisuke I have so much to do, this wedding is taking up so much of time now.’

‘Evelyn. Just listen to me-‘

‘I still need to arrange for a cake and the decorations still need to be decided. I have to go Eisuke. There is plenty to do right now.’

‘No. Stay and listen. It’s about your husband. I saw him with the bride. He-‘

‘I know Eisuke. I know.’ Evelyn said in a small voice. There was silence for a moment before she spoke up.

‘Sorry Eisuke, I will come back soon. But I really must be going now.’ Before Eisuke could say anymore, Evelyn hung up the phone. When she opened the door to her suite however, Eisuke was standing there. He took one look at her face and opened his arms up for her. Next thing she knew, she was sobbing her eyes out into Eisuke’s chest.

‘How ironic. Alan has been cheating on me this whole time, but I haven’t been a faithful wife either.’ She said.

‘That man stopped being faithful to you a long time ago.’ Eisuke said in a matter-of-fact tone. This made her giggle and he kissed her temple.

‘Stay with me tonight. I’ll deal with Alan in the morning.’

Evelyn enjoyed the night with Eisuke. She cooked for him and realised later that he was watching her.

‘Don’t worry. I’m not going to poison you.’ Evelyn said, teasingly. Eisuke chuckled, trapping her between him and the countertop.

Eisuke made love to her again that night and not once did Evelyn think about her broken marriage.

The next day, Alan barges into the penthouse lounge.

‘Evelyn you b****! How dare you-‘

‘Shut up. Don’t you dare speak to her in such a disgusting way.’ Eisuke cut Alan off immediately. Alan’s projects were stolen and his bank account was empty.

‘Looking poor are we?’ Eisuke said, smirking at Alan.

‘Adding fuel to the fire aren’t you?’ Evelyn whispered.

‘Did you do this to me?’ Alan said in a hushed voice, clearly in rage.

‘You haven’t been very loyal now have you Alan?’

‘What?’ The door behind him opened and in came the woman from the photo. The one luring Evelyn’s husband to her arms. The bride that Evelyn was planning a wedding for. Her downcast eyes said everything.

‘Take this case. It has 1 million dollars in it. You can have it, if you tell Evelyn the truth and your fiancé what you’ve been doing behind his back.’

The woman bowed to Evelyn several times before Evelyn places her hand on her shoulder, lifting the woman to stand up straight. With no words, Evelyn lets the woman go.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah, I am too.’

With the woman gone, Alan was furious. But Eisuke cuts in again.

‘Don’t think you will be getting away so easily.’ He takes out a small bundle of paper and holds it up for Alan to see.

‘Those ar-‘

‘These, are your bank statements from your private Swiss bank account.’

Alan’s eyes were wide open. Nothing could save him now.

‘Why do you have a Swiss bank account Alan?’ Evelyn says in a quiet voice.

‘He’s been spending his money elsewhere. Haven’t you, Mr Alan Hudson?’ Eisuke smirks in Alan’s direction and he begins to tremble.

‘Illegally?’ Evelyn asks. Alan didn’t meet her gaze filled with rage. His silence spoke volumes. Evelyn stepped towards her husband, lifting his head to meet her eyes. The sound resonated across the lounge, the loud slap of her hand on his face.

‘Show yourself around here again and these will be leaked across the globe.’ Eisuke said, his voice cutting through the tense atmosphere.

‘Get out of here. You are pathetic.’ She whispered. Alan ran for his life.

Evelyn felt Eisuke’s arms around her body and she turned to nuzzle her face into his chest. It felt like forever; just them standing in the silent penthouse, holding each other. Eventually, she lifted up her head.

‘What happens now?’

‘Now, you will stay with me. We still have a project to complete.’ Eisuke said, pulling out two other bundles of paper.

‘Do you always keep your paperwork in your suit? How many pockets do you have?’ She laughed and he chuckled.

‘One is a divorce paper for you. The other is a contract stating that you will become my new business partner and will oversee the completion of the coffee shops.’

‘How…’

‘I had the divorce paper hidden with the contract. I knew the moment I saw you that I would make you mine, married or not. And I found out about Alan’s affairs so this contract was made. Afterall, it was you who came up with the idea. It is only fair that you control the project. Up to my standards of course.’

Evelyn smiles and reaches up to cup Eisuke’s face. They lean in, resting their foreheads against one another.

‘I love you.’

‘Hm, let’s see how well you can please me to make me say it too.’

‘Eisuke which colour do you want?’

‘Choose whichever.’

‘But there’s so many!’

Behind Eisuke and Evelyn was one of the Tres Spade coffee shops. The line of people extended down the street and many were enjoying their hot beverages.

‘Okay, I’ll take two candy-floss mixed with purple and pink please.’ While Evelyn rummaged around for her purse, Eisuke pulled out his card. When she looked up, Eisuke was holding the candy-floss in his hands. Evelyn’s heart fluttered at the sight and she committed the image to memory.

‘It’s just pocket change.’ Eisuke said, while they walked down the street, and Evelyn looked up at his profile.

‘What?’

‘Nothing!’ Evelyn broke off a piece of candyfloss and held it out for Eisuke. He leaned in and took it into his mouth, licking her fingers in the process. She leaned in and kissed him.

‘I love you Eisuke.’

‘And I love you.’

Their sweet kiss was one of many to be shared in the future, filled with love and happiness.

Otome Fanatics Server

#kissed by the baddest bidder #eisuke ichinomiya #kbtbb #voltage inc

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frill-shark · 3 years

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fic writer interview

tagged by: @mordredmanor!! tysm I love getting tagged in stuff like this (and its totally ok to tag me btw!) :)

name: you can just call me frillshark, you can find me under that name here and on ao3!

fandoms: so far I’ve only posted stuff for dimension 20 and telltale’s the walking dead publicly (the sheer contrast between those two LMAOO) I’ve written for subnautica and hello neighbor in the past but that stuff is a couple years old by now

where you post: just on ao3! I do post links to them on my tumblr account though

most popular oneshot: probably the birds are singing at night? which makes sense bc it’s the first thing I posted on my ao3 account and has been there the longest, also the 4 douglee stans are still so starved for content I’m so sorry gang

most popular multi-chapter: it’s kinda a tossup between beyond all recognition and be still, my indelible friend but I think it’s PROBABLY beyond all recognition, a fantasy high au where pok survives getting attacked by goldenhoard 😳 but what if literally nothing got better for the gukgaks as a result. which makes me pretty happy ngl because I put a LOT of thought into this au and I’m glad to see that some people are enjoying it!! :)

fics you were nervous to post: ALL OF THEM HONESTLY,,, like sooo many of my fics are so RIDICULOUSLY niche it’s unreal. nobody asked but i still delivered. but tbh I’m just kind of nervous abt my writing in general it’s really personal to me and I tend to be really harsh on myself about it

how do you choose your titles: almost all of them are song lyrics ASKJFBADKGJ but some of them are more subtle than others. either that or I just used a vaguely meaningful phrase. ngl picking a title is one of the HARDEST steps in the writing process

do you outline: absolutely!! I used to not do it as rigorously but now I’m writing a couple thousand words in outlining for each chapter/oneshot 😳 it’s basically a play-by-play of everything that happens in it because I KNOW if I don’t write it down I’ll forget it. for my bigger fics the planning documents tend to get REALLY long because I’m putting in extra ideas and character motivations and things to remember

favorite story i’ve written so far: GODD THAT’S SUCH A HARD ONE but I think it’d also be beyond all recognition. mostly because I’m still lowkey proud/scared of myself for how ridiculously in depth I made this au and the fact that I hit 50k on it!! :D

complete: just the oneshots unfortunately I am a VERY slow writer

in progress: both my multichapter fics, I have NO idea when I’ll finish either of them because I still have like 4-5 chapters to go in beyond all recognition and I rlly gotta get back in the zone with be still, my indelible friend. I’m SO unreliable as a writer it’s unreal

coming soon: I’m gonna start working on ch5 of beyond all recognition soon! I’d also really like to see if I can write some smaller oneshots sometime but I have absolutely no idea what those would be LMAO

prompts: I mean.....I sure wouldn’t say no 👀 if any of you have any suggestions drop em in my inbox and I’ll see if I can get to them sometime!

tagging: I don’t know if I have a lot of ppl following me that write haha! for now I’ll just tag @leoxxii, @lillymueller, @rivy-irl, and @auxiliaryrampage bc I know for a fact that they write but you totally don’t have to do this if u don’t want to! also if you write stuff and want to do this you can totally just fill this out and say I tagged you :)

#my post #fantasy high fanfic #twdg fanfic #tag meme #again thanks sm for tagging me i love doing stuff like this!! and i love to talk about writing too haha

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batmansymbol · 4 years

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@montpahrnah tagged me in a writing meme! thank you eve <3 i'm tagging @woodswit (i must catch up on the memes you did after hiatus aaaa) @ibuzoo @cocoartistwrites @devdevlin @mechanical-orange @provocative-envy and anyone else who would like to!!

ao3 name: speechwriter, after my favorite band in middle & high school, Speechwriters LLC. in this house we do not simply change our internet identities after fifteen years

fandoms: currently: harry potter! previously: angelic layer, cardcaptor sakura, avatar, and sherlock, before seasons 3 and 4 happened.

number of fics: 8 on ao3, 28 on ffnet. i’d like to migrate some old stuff to ao3, but i would want to edit most of it in transit, which would take ages!

fic i spent the most time on: hard to say -- i think probably have a nice day!, my corporate-espionage-but-set-in-high-school tomione fic... what a subgenre. tied for last is twice as long, but i worked on HaND for a couple years rather than drafting the entire thing in three insane months like TFL.

fic i spent the least amount of time on: common household poisons, which took maybe two hours

longest fic: tied for last (250k), but disappearances might wind up pushing that length!

shortest fic: a day in the life. folks, this is a Foxtrot fanfic from seventh grade. the internet houses many secrets

most hits: tied for last. ffnet doesn’t show hits, but as of this post, it has nearly 1.4 million. i might have talked about this here before, but it’s strange being 99% sure that something i wrote when i was sixteen (and which i have ... complicated feelings toward) is probably going to be the thing i write in my lifetime that’s the most read. i love that people have enjoyed it, but what a weird cocktail of emotions!

most kudos: the disappearances of draco malfoy. my baby

most comment threads: tied for last

most bookmarks: the disappearances of draco malfoy

total word count: 727,563

favorite fic i wrote: toxicology, definitely. it might be my favorite thing i’ve ever written. i spend a lot of time thinking, if i could just do this thing or that thing, i could have a stylistic breakthrough and write a whole piece in a way that i love ... i think toxicology is probably the only thing i’ve written where i feel like i actually made the breakthrough. but i’m still fond of unsinkable, my titanic tomione AU (more corporate espionage!), which i think has a good shape to it. and this untitled blaise zabini drabble is probably the oldest thing i’ve written that i have unmitigated positive feelings toward.

fic i want to rewrite/expand on: ad infinitum, which is this bonkers science-fantasy forward-in-time time-travel tomione AU that i stopped writing halfway through college. i still sort of love it, and i’ve had the remainder of the fic outlined for years, so maybe i’ll come back to it. tbh, i would love to rewrite/heavy-edit nearly all of my older fics... especially with tied for last and have a nice day, where i think that they’re fun concepts with decent bones impacted by the fact that i was a child, i’m like... this is wasteful, to let them sit there in their current state. but am i really going to rework a 250,000 word behemoth instead of working on a new story? doubtful.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on: i haven’t started the next chapter of Disappearances yet, so i have no fic excerpts to share! so lol um here’s a snippet from my 2021 book, Alone Out Here, which will be out next fall! it was pitched as Lord of the Flies in space, which is not inaccurate. the concept is that in 2072, the First Daughter and 53 other teenagers wind up on the only ship that escapes a dying earth, and must grapple with their own humanity as they try to build a functioning society aboard.

we haven’t done edits yet but here’s the first page of the manuscript as it is now

Before the announcements, we used to pose awful hypotheticals to each other. My friends and I were like that when we were fourteen: morbidly curious, or maybe just morbid. We huddled under blankets at night and murmured questions about scarcity and disaster. Which three things would you bring to your desert island? Which three people would you choose for your team in Armageddon? If you were about to be stranded in the wasteland, if all the movies came true, if everything went wrong, what would you save?

We never settled on answers. Lilly always fell asleep halfway through, and the next morning, Marcus would switch his choices back and forth, clarifying the rules of the universe over breakfast. “Is there internet in this wasteland?” he’d ask. “If I brought my headset, could I have unlimited games?”

Lilly would sigh and say, “God, Marcus, what sort of amateur apocalypse do you think this is?” and I’d laugh until I got hiccups.

Four years later, I remember those mornings with digital clarity. The cozy blear of them, the pikes of sunlight angling through Lilly’s kitchen window, the sweetness of 2% milk. I remember how unreal the idea of catastrophe felt. Maybe that’s what I’ll miss the most: the sense of security, so insulating that I could stare at the concept of total loss, as searing as the sun, without feeling like I was going blind.

It was like a drug, wasn’t it? The thrill of imagining danger, knowing you were safe?

#ask games #memery all alone in the moonlight #personal #alone out here #riley writes books

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littleoldrachel · 4 years

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i am burned out (i smell of smoke) - part two

guys. the response to this has just been. unreal. thank you so much for all of the kindness and support you've shown me and this little fic. i couldn't be more grateful. y'all are wonderful and i don't know why i was so nervous to post in the first place. thank you.

for now, part two! (look, it's gotta get worse before it gets better!!! (it will get better though, i swear))

i am burned out (i smell of smoke) [on ao3]

summary: in which virgil falls apart, learns how to put himself back together, and realises he doesn’t have to do it alone.

word count: 3.6k ish ( part 1/5 | part 2/5 )

warnings: mental health issues

timeline: i suppose this is set in early TAG verse? jeff is missing and nobody is Coping Well.

happy belated birthday, nutty!! <3

ii.

He’s not better in the morning. Waking up is an unpleasant experience for Virgil at the best of times, only gratified by a large mug of coffee or the necessity of a rescue, but today -

Virgil is aware of the heavy weight on his chest before he even opens his eyes. It’s even larger than it was last night, sucking him dry of what little energy sleep has reclaimed.

Virgil glares down at his chest, half-wishing there was some outwards sign that something is wrong on the skin there. But there are only the same patches of bruises and still healing scars as adorn his whole body.

He takes a deep breath, and feels the strain of it against this heavy weight.

Is he getting sick? He can’t be - he’s only just had the flu, dammit! He has a job to do, and Scott will never let him get away with flying Two whilst sick again if their last shouting match about it was anything to go by.

And even if he were getting sick - which he’s not - that chesty ache is different to this weighty nothingness. Instead of feeling ill, he’s just… tired.

A Scott-like voice sounds in the back of his head, though it’s far harsher than Scott could ever be: concentrate on your job - on the people who need you.

But it’s right. That’s what he needs to focus on - that’ll be what gets him out of this awful funk.

(Because that’s all it is. A funk).

(It has to be).

It’s not better the following morning either. Nor the morning after that, no matter how many rescues he pushes himself through.

His go-to coping mechanism has always been music, and so he makes his way to the piano without even bothering to raid the kitchen for breakfast/lunch. He’s not hungry, which should probably trigger alarm bells but he’s too tired to care.

Instead, he plonks himself down on the piano stool, lifts the lid to his precious instrument, and stares at the keys, waiting.

Only, nothing swells inside of him, desperate to be expressed - no emotion, no thought, nothing.

Virgil has never been in front of a piano and felt nothing. Even before he could play, the very sight of a piano had him awestruck. He remembers his mother playing L.O.V.E just to make him smile, stressing over his finals with endless Rachmaninoff, and pouring out his grief through his own stormy compositions. The piano is and always has been less of an instrument and more of a mouthpiece, a beating heart, a lonely soul that he has bound to himself. For a child stricken mute by tragedy, a teenager struggling in his siblings’ shadows, an adult who can never save them all, his piano is the best way he’s found to dig those feelings out of himself.

Scott has always said Virgil feels things too deeply. He’s right - even in this nothing-ness state, the depths of it are chasm-like inside him.

And so, because he knows Scott would want him to try, Virgil half-heartedly plays the opening melody to one of his most recent compositions - a gentle, comforting little thing - but stops almost at once in frustration.

He just doesn’t feel like it.

(The upset this causes him is almost better than the awful emptiness because at least it’s a goddamn feeling).

The one place he feels semi-normal is the gym. At least there, he can distract himself with the burn of straining muscles and the clanging of too-heavy weights.

At first, even the thought of venturing down here and working out is Too Much, and he can’t quite bring himself to do so.

But then -

The image of a child buried beneath rocks he's too weak to lift propels him forward, a sharp twinge of anxiety in his chest.

And so he rows until his shoulders are throbbing, pounds the treadmill till he can’t feel his feet anymore, presses weights more suited to the exosuit than a man.

His whole body is trembling with exertion as he runs through some cool down stretches. As he makes to stand, his vision tips sideways, flecked with dark spots.

It's a good twenty minutes before he tries again, this time leaning heavily on the weights racks.

He pushed too hard and he knows it. Thank God his brothers weren't down here to see it or he would be in serious trouble.

But it has helped, at least a little. It quiets the worry in his mind that he's useless and the guilt of lives lost. The endorphins of exercise lessen the load on his chest momentarily and though he hurts all over, he'd rather this physical pain than the ache of feeling nothing at all.

Virgil hasn't drawn anything in weeks now, despite the not-so-subtle hints from John that he would really, really like something new for his room on Five (and honestly sending Virgil breathtaking photos of double-ringed galaxies would usually have him mixing up colours at once).

He wants to draw John something - heck, he just wants to draw something. Or maybe, he wants to want to draw something, but every time he sits down with a sketchpad or canvas, his mind empties and his heart is tired.

Like now, curled up in the window seat of his room with a pencil and pad in hand. It's been well over an hour and the page is still glaringly blank, both physically and mentally.

A knock at his door startles him, and Alan's head pokes round it. "Hey, Virg, you busy?"

Virgil throws the pad and pencil aside, almost grateful for the distraction from his utter failings as an artist. "Never too busy for you, Allie, what's up?"

"Oh wait, you were drawing?!" Alan hurries over, reaching for the pad. "That's great, it's been ages - can I see?"

He turns over the pad before Virgil can stop him and deflates. "Oh."

"Sorry, Alan," Virgil says, tugging the pad back so that he doesn't have to see the disappointed worry in Alan's eyes. "Waiting for inspiration to strike."

"Oookaaay," Alan says slowly, "but if you're busy, you should have said... It's fine if you are! I can ask John instead. Or Brains."

"I'm not busy, honestly. What is it you need?"

Alan looks torn. "But your art time is so important to you.. and you haven't had time in weeks."

Virgil sighs, "it's not that I haven't had time. I just don't feel like it at the moment." He means it to be reassuring - confirmation that whatever Alan needs is more important than doing fuck-all - and it's the most honest he's been in weeks.

But instead, Alan looks even more worried. "You don't feel like it? … why not?"

Shit. It's easy to forget with King Smother Brother in the building that his younger brothers have learned from the best. Virgil doesn't know what to do. There's no way in hell he's spilling how horrible he feels all over his littlest brother. And so he does something that will only make him feel worse in the long run but that might disperse the concern in Alan's eyes.

"I mean… I wanted it to be a surprise," Virgil says slowly, hating himself for the way Alan brightens at his lies. "But I've been working on something special for John's birthday."

Alan beams and it's almost worth the guilty squirm in Virgil's chest. "Can I see?!"

"No, no, it's - it's not ready yet." Or started, planned, conceptualised… he's gonna have to get his shit together to fix this lie.

"Okay, okay. Aw man, I can't wait to see it, Virg!"

The guilt only swells, and with it, anxiousness. "What was it you needed, Allie?"

"Oh! Right, yeah, it's Physics."

Virgil blinks. "Isn't John your go-to guy for that?"

Alan bites his lip. "Yeah, but you have an Engineering degree. And also…" Alan sighs and flops down on Virgil's bed. "I don't get it and John's great except he doesn't get why I don't get it and-"

"Say no more." Virgil has himself been on the receiving end of John's frustrated rants; not only did he have to bear the humiliation of asking his younger brother for help, but he came away from it feeling even more stupid and hopeless. Thankfully, he'd had a Jeff to explain it to him in terms he could understand - it's a choking grief when Virgil realises that Alan doesn't have that same luxury.

"It's this equation," Alan is saying, dragging Virgil back to the present. "I just don't get it."

A glance at the page and Virgil feels much steadier. He knows physics, and for once, this is a situation where he can help without failing anyone.

Both on rescues and at home, Virgil has always been the focused, steady rock upon which his brothers can ground themselves. And he's still that, even worn out and perpetually empty, it's just a little harder to maintain it. He's vaguely aware that he's sort of falling apart and he should probably tell someone, even if it means Gordon will be flying his precious 'bird for a while. But the larger part of him is still working to convince himself that he's fine, because he should be fine.

The facade slips a couple of times and each time there's a cost that leaves Virgil so angry at himself, at his uselessness that he can't bear to face anyone.

Scott watches his usually perfect aim fail three times in a row, and is forced to launch himself out of Thunderbird One to fire his own grappling hook. It takes on the first go because he's Scott fucking Tracy, but they’re too close to the ground thanks to Virgil's ineptitude and there's blood everywhere - oh God, it's everywhere - and Virgil is left with shaking hands staring at the man whose wounds Scott is desperately trying to plug.

John hears when he blacks out momentarily in the tunnel system beneath Mexico City. It's just a temporary dizziness from the heat of the packed soil (is what he's telling John, even though he doesn't remember the last time he ate, and forces himself to choke down an energy bar in guilt) but it distracts his brother from wherever else he is needed and Virgil hates himself for it.

Gordon is the one who wakes him sweating and yelling from a nightmare. There's such worry in his younger brother's face as he asks about the dream, but Virgil can't bring himself to explain that it was his father going up in flames over and over, as it has been for months now. A week later, when it's Scott's face replacing Jeff Tracy's, Virgil wakes to a panic attack, but Gordon is nowhere to be found.

Alan seizes his arm at a landslide in south Wales, drags him to a man who is pale, sweating, clutching his broken leg, and Virgil goes into medic mode at once. Bind the leg, treat for shock, arrange transport to the nearest hospital.

Except the man never makes it to the hospital.

Because there’s a hard, swollen bruise up his ribcage that should have indicated internal bleeding. And he didn’t spot it - why didn’t he spot it? He has one job: help people, and he can’t even fucking do that right. The man dies on the way to the hospital, and Virgil can’t breathe. Alan tries - bless his good, generous soul - to reassure him, reminding him that there’s relatively little they can do for internal bleeds, they aren’t equipped for that kind of injury, but Virgil pushes him away with a roughness he’ll later regret.

He’s falling apart and this feeling wasn’t supposed to affect rescues, it wasn’t supposed to be a problem he actually had to face. This wasn’t supposed to happen, why did this happen, why, why, why -

Scott is the one who drags him away from his bedroom, where he’s taken to moping alone.

He doesn’t even knock, simply sweeping through the door in shorts and a tank top, trainers dangling by the laces. “Right, get changed, we’re going on a run.”

Virgil, who hasn’t moved (can’t move) from his bed since getting back from a rescue a few hours earlier, glares up at him. “Nope.”

“Move it.”

“Make me.”

Scott narrows his eyes. “You know I can.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Virgil regrets the words the second they leave his mouth, because no way in hell does he have the energy to wrestle with Scott right now, but his older brother does something much, much worse.

He tickles him.

Virgil goes into survivor mode: kicking, flailing, shoving Scott away all whilst breathlessly begging him to stop. When Scott finally relents, Virgil flops back on his bed, panting.

“I - hate you.”

“I know,” Scott says cheerfully. “Now, get dressed.”

They begin on Scott’s usual circuit across the beach, chasing the trail up under canopies of forest, and then break away to run alongside the cliff-edges. Most of the heat of the day has faded with the sun, but it’s still warm enough that they’re both sweating by the end of the ascent. Scott pauses at the crest of the cliff and stands silhouetted against the sunset. Virgil slows to a halt next to him.

"What's wrong?" Scott says suddenly and Virgil almost flinches.

"Nothing," he says. It's enough of a half-truth that he doesn't even feel guilty at the frustration in Scott's eyes.

Scott stares at him. "Please don’t lie to me, Virg. Are you getting sick? Are you injured?”

“What - no, I’m not - I’m not lying -”

“Because I swear, if you ever pull that ‘pushing through pneumonia for the mission’ bullshit again, I will ground you for life-”

“Scott, I’m not sick!”

“Come on, Virg, you’ve always been a shit liar.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then what’s going on with you?! This is your favourite route." He sweeps a hand over the view of endless ocean, soaked pink and gold beneath the setting sun. "Normally you're urging us to get back so you can get it all down on a canvas, and today, you haven’t even noticed. Please, Virg?” Scott takes a step towards him, resting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. Talk to me?”

The unbridled concern in Scott’s tone hurts and Virgil simultaneously wants nothing more than to fix it and to stop being its cause.

Except that - he's fine, he's okay, he's coping with whatever this is. And he doesn't even know what this is so he would rather set himself on fire than trigger another of his brother's nightmares.

“I’m okay, Scott, really.” Scott shakes his head and Virgil doubles down. “I am, I’m just tired.” (So tired, so fucking tired but no amount of sleep seems to help). “It’s been a crazy couple of months.”

Scott frowns, and Virgil forces himself not to cringe at the intensity of his brother’s stare. This feeling is shaping him up to be a damned good liar, and Virgil hates it.

“You have been looking tired,” Scott says eventually, and Virgil sighs internally. “Do I need to give you leave to rest up - and tell me the truth, Virg, I swear to God -”

“No, no.”

Don’t leave me alone with this feeling and nothing to distract from it.

“Swear it?”

Virgil nods and watches the relief bloom in his brother’s eyes. He almost doesn’t hate himself for it, because he’s trying his damnedest to convince himself that he is fine, even though it’s becoming increasingly apparent he’s really, really not. But he doesn’t know how to explain how empty and tired and fragile he feels, and so he can’t.

“No more skipping family dinners though, Virg. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you aren’t around at mealtimes lately, I miss you.”

The thing is, he's just not hungry anymore - not for Scott's special blueberry pancakes, nor for authentic Italian pizza from his favourite restaurant courtesy of Gordon on the way home one day. He's especially not hungry for Grandma's (literal) rock cake, no matter how hurt she looks by his rejection.

Virgil knows he's losing weight - he can feel it in the looseness of his uniform around his limbs and in how he has to cinch his belt a little tighter than before. He also knows that in intensifying his workouts, he should be increasing his intake to match.

He’s also not sleeping - or at least, not sleeping restfully. His nights are riddled with horrific dreams that he wakes from in a panic, or he spends hours unable to switch his mind off for all the terrible thoughts echoing round it.

The thing is - he can't quite bring himself to care about it all. He’s finding it so hard to care about anything at all (besides his family and the rescues, of course, though even these are draining him beyond all reason), least of all himself.

After one sleepless night, Virgil wanders aimlessly through the house in the groggy rays of the rising sun. Scott will already be on his morning run and Gordon will be halfway through his pre-breakfast swim. And Virgil -

He should be in bed, dead to the world, only to be woken up under dire circumstances or so help me, Gordon -

Instead, he finds himself in front of his piano. It’s been long enough that a film of dust has settled atop the lid, and he traces his finger through it absently, then decides to try. For Scott, if not for himself (definitely not for himself).

He rifles through boxes of sheet music waiting for something to grab him. When nothing inevitably does, he snatches up whatever’s sticking out sideways, and begins to play. The notes are familiar enough that he closes his eyes, waiting to lose himself in the melody.

But that tug never comes.

Virgil finishes the piece just as empty and useless and tired as he started it, and opens his eyes to see Gordon standing there, toast in hand.

“Morning,” Gordon says grinning wickedly. “Long time, no see, Mr Piano Man.”

“Hey,” Virgil says quietly, filing the sheet music away again. He’s not in the mood for Gordon’s joviality right now - then again, when is he ever these days? He feels guilty for thinking it at once.

“What’s wrong?” Gordon demands, his eyes narrowed. He leans across the piano and Virgil glowers at those buttery fingers.

“If you get grease on my piano, Gordon, you won’t live to regret it.”

“Sheesh. Someone got out of bed on the wrong side this morning. But seriously, what’s up?”

“Gordon. I mean it.”

Gordon rolls his eyes so hard it must physically hurt him to do so, but raises his hands in surrender. “Fine. Now will you talk to me?”

Virgil looks down at the keys. “Why would anything be up?”

“Well,” Gordon says slowly, “numero uno, I don’t remember the last time I got to have crunchy peanut butter on toast, which means you’re not eating us out of house and home, which is Highly Suspicious Behaviour. Y dos, you only play that when you’re feeling down.”

“I’m surprised you remember that,” Virgil says, caught off guard enough that he doesn’t even attempt to deny it.

“I listen,” Gordon says indignantly. “Chopping is what you play when you feel sad.”

“Chopin.”

“Bless you.”

Virgil half-smiles, in spite of himself. He doesn’t remember the last time he smiled.

And there’s a moment, where he thinks: tell him, tell him there’s this horrible feeling inside of you and you’re afraid it’s going to swallow you whole, and he’s going to - he wants to - he means to, but-

“I’m okay, Gords, honest. Just nostalgic.”

Gordon looks at him with eyes far older than his years. “You know it’s okay if you’re not okay though, right?”

“Sure.”

“I mean it, Virg. You’re always here for us. Let us be here for you too, yeah?”

There’s a lump in his throat and Virgil can’t trust himself to speak, so he nods vigorously instead. His brother looks uncharacteristically sad as Virgil makes his excuses to hurry off to the gym and it hurts, all these lies hurt, he’s hurting so much.

He’s just dropped the weight when the floor lurches beneath him and he staggers.

Hm. Low blood sugar.

The medic in him is furious at himself, but that guy is also buried beneath a thick layer of exhausted indifference, impenetrable sadness and an overwhelming nothingness.

And so, Virgil does what he does best. He keeps going.

Keeps going through the motions of gym, rescue, take care of brothers, rescue, repairs, sleep, gym, rescue, because what else can he do?

Until he can’t.

There’s a day that dawns bright and beautiful like every single goddamn day on their tropical island. The birdsong is melodic, the butterflies are a tapestry of colour, the sea sparkles beneath lazy golden rays.

And Virgil can’t get out of bed.

Not won’t, not doesn’t want to - physically cannot.

The weight on his chest has finally become heavy enough that it pins him beneath his covers and he cannot shake it off. Every single particle of the emptiness inside him has insidiously become a despair so absolute and almighty that Virgil cannot bear it inside of him but is powerless to get it out. It’s the worst feeling he has ever known - worse than watching his mother die before his eyes, worse than his father turning away from him in his own grief, worse than trying to keep a splintered family together with frayed nerves and a broken heart. He’s not okay. He’s falling apart.

It’s the first time he’s allowed himself to accept these as facts, rather than fears.

But the realisation only makes him feel even more alone.

#thunderbirds are go #virgil tracy #littleoldrachel writes #happy belated birthday nutty!

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kinghoranshit · 3 years

Text

Tell Me a Lie (NH) Ch 3

Word Count: 2,065

Warnings: Swearing

I snapped a pretzel in half and munched on it. I dipped the other half into the small jar of peanut butter and popped it into my mouth before I flipped the piece of paper to the other side. I was deep in editing mode for Stone Cold.

I had talked to my manager about the upcoming events since there were red carpet dates already locked down for later that year, and she approved them, along with congratulations on the romance. But I was not able to get any definitive days off to truly work on Stone Cold, so I was still back to my weird schedule to get it finished on time.

Out of bad habit, I clicked my power button on my phone and looked at the screen for anything to distract me for a short second. There was a message from Niall.

N: Yoo, it’s go time .

L: Really? What about publicity photos?

N: This is gonna work better . I’m gonna use one of our old selfies .

L: Haha You mean from backstage in Chicago? That was like 6 months ago...

N: It’s the only recent once we’ve got , Kelly .

It’ll work

L: I guess you’re right.

N: I am (:

Be ready for it .

Now, an Instagram notification came up and I already knew who it was from. I pulled down my notifications bar to see it and tapped it. I swear my heart stopped at the caption.

@NiallOfficial: You know I don’t like lying to you all, but I’ve kept this a secret . For the sake of wanting our first few months to be only us . Well , those few months turned into a full year . I couldn’t be happier with this woman ! She makes me feel like I’m on cloud 9 . She even makes the golf losses better haha

He’d also tagged me. It was another requirement for social media; all posts had to be tagged. I was suddenly super nervous. This was actually it. There were so many new follows, likes, and comments on my account, and people were commenting congrats underneath Niall’s; though it wasn’t hard to miss a few of the mean wishes.

K: So…. this is really it?

N: Yup . You got this , Kelly !

K: There weren’t that many restrictions to the socials, surprisingly…

Do I have to follow people back?

N: Haha no ! Follow who ya want

K: Cool

A Twitter notification popped up on my top bar. I pulled it down to see Niall had tagged me in a photo there as well, and it was similarly worded to Instagram. At least it wasn’t a total copy and paste, that wasn’t necessarily Niall’s style. The Twitter notifications also started to flow in and I knew there had to be some way to filter them or this was going to be overwhelming.

K: Please tell me there’s a way to filter the notifications

N: Absolutely , under your settings there should be a way to just get ones of people you follow

If you get verified , I’ll help you with those

K: Who said anything about me getting verified?

N: Kelly , don’t act so cavalier love . It’ll happen eventually .

I’ll walk you through it , I had Modest to help me and you’ve got me to help you

K: Duh duh DUHHHH

N: Okay , if you don’t want it I won ‘t give it to ya

K: You know you will anyway

You loooove me

N: Augh

You’re right

***

I finally gathered the courage to thoroughly go through my Twitter notifications. I figured that the most recent ones may not be necessarily nice since I had been MIA for a few days after Niall’s initial post. But could they really blame me? I didn’t think so.

My Twitter followers went from literally 450 to 38K. Just cause I was Niall’s “girlfriend”? That’s just… I couldn’t lie, I never followed the boys’ girlfriends or PR girlfriends, whatever they were to them. I didn’t have much to say to this.

I decided to make a tweet first before doing anything else.

@kellygarden: Sorry I’ve been MIA y’all. About to get interactive though! How about a Q&A? Hashtag #AskKelly :)

I used the time of people asking questions to go through some of those following me and follow a few. And when I say a few, I mean a few. I might do a follow spree at some point and do a hundred or a couple hundred people.

I about shit my pants seeing some of those who were following me that I was already following. Like Tom Holland, all the 5SOS boys, the other lads from One Direction, and Selena Gomez. Holy shit. What? Why? I was having a hard time believing this, but I couldn’t stop a smile from crossing my lips. So unreal.

I searched my hashtag now and looked at some of the questions, replying to some.

@Fuckmeniall: @KellyGarden Was it love at first sight? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Fuckmeniall First off, love your @ . It was more like love at first coffee - we met at a cafe in London :)

@DamagedQueen: @KellyGarden Hw old r u? Wt do u do? #AskKely PS luv ur layout<3

@KellyGarden: Aww thanks so much! I’m 24 and a novel editor for a publishing house in London.

@Jocylnbitch: @KellyGarden I don’t really like you, but I have a question about Niall. What’s he like in bed? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Jocylnbitch: Glad to hear your opinion about me. And I don’t think that’s any of your business.

@Rylanroll: @KellyGarden R u a virgin? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Rylanroll Are you old enough to be asking this question? But no, I’m not.

@Hannable: @KellyGarden If you could clone yourself, would you? Why? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Hannable I would. As selfish as this is, I’d have my clone to do my work so I could go see the world and be with Nialler.

@Uplousass: @KellyGarden Have you met the other boys yet? Freddie? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Uplousass Props for the @, I’m dying! *laugh crying face emoji* I haven’t... and I’m not going to force any of them to meet me if they choose not to.

@NiallOfficial: @KellyGarden How far are you up my ass? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @NiallOfficial I would be Hella far up if you weren’t so far up mine already :P

@Michael5SOS: @KellyGarden CAN I MEET YOU?! ASDLFKAS #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Michael5SOS DLKASLGA YEAH IF YA WANT

@lukecummings: @KellyGarden Have you ever written fanfiction? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @lukecummings I have, but they’re cringy af. I’m not kidding on that. They will never resurface the web.

@Astheticnolan: @KellyGarden What are you favorite smells on earth? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Astheticnolan COFFEE, books, rain, You&I perfume, flowers, Niall’s cologne

@Haywire: @KellyGarden What’s your music taste? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Haywire My music library is on crack. I could be listening to 1D, then it could go to Skillet, Ed, Counting Crows, M83, etc. It’s a wide range, except no Country.

@Luke5SOS: @KellyGarden Is that lame band 5SOS not in your music library? :(

@KellyGarden: @Luke5SOS Pft yes, yes they are in my music library. It’s full of lame bands lmfao

@Daylight5SOS: @KellyGarden Have you talked with the other boys? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Daylight5SOS Yeah, Louis.

@Louis_Tomlinson: @KellyGarden Do look forward to officially meeting you. Freddie son says hi.

@KellyGarden: @Louis_Tomlinson I look forward to it as well. Stay safe you two x.

@Penofhope: @KellyGarden Favorite genre to write? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Penofhope Fiction. YA. Mainly Fantasy and Sci-fi.

@Clotheswhore: @KellyGarden What's your aesthetic? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Clotheswhore By your @ I’m going to assume you mean my clothes aesthetic? I’d say it’s a little bit of everything - I can’t stick to one thing lol

@Niallsride: @KellyGarden Do you drive? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Niallsride I do. Both car and motorcycle/bikes.

@Monaymaker: @KellyGarden Do you drink? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Monaymaker I do socially.

@Harry_Styles: @KellyGarden I look forward to meeting you. Niall is a lucky guy. All the love. H. #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Harry_Styles Thank you so much, H! Soon I hope x.

@Horanyass: @KellyGarden How many kids do you want? Gender ? Would you like to have them with Niall? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanyass 2 or 3, any gender, and if I happen to have my kids with Niall then I’d be happy about it :)

@Styleskid: @Kellyiebabes Fave bromances of 1D and 5SOS? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Styleskid All the ones with Luke and Niall, Cashton, and Lilo.

@5Saucelove: @KellyGarden Pancakes or waffles? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @5Saucelove Waffles all the way! X.

@Horanhasmyheart: @KellyGarden Have you heard any songs off Niall’s upcoming album? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanhasmyheart Nope, he’s super secretive about it. I’m gonna be just as shook as all of you! Looking forward to it!

I looked at all the ones I answered, smiling a bit at a few of them. I didn’t realize how many I answered or how much time had passed. I had to be on a work call soon, which could go until midnight because of the time difference.

@KellyGarden: Gotta get back to work. Thank you all for the questions! I’ll be doing another one of these soon, yeah?

I didn’t wait for any of the replies before I locked my phone and set my laptop up for Zoom.

***

I huffed, observing the cherry patterned and floral dresses in my hands, and the pile of other choices I thought about taking to LA. I was so indecisive right now. How many outfits did I really need? Five days worth, but on top of some clothes for clubbing possibly, and pjs. But if I packed something I didn’t want to wear, I didn’t really want to wear the same thing. Why was I like this?

I huffed once again and flopped down onto the mass. I leave tomorrow and need to get this sorted out. After another half hour of stalling, I willed myself to get back up and actually pack. I decided on six solid outfits, on top of one clubbing fit and pjs. It seemed like the safest route.

N: Get in loser , we’re going to see Paps

K: Hah hah like oh my god they don’t even go here

I finally just packed. How’s LA?

N: Kelly, you’re such a procrastinator

LA is ready for you

K: But I don’t know if I’m ready for LA

N: Ooo so cliche , you’re both ready.

See you tomorrow x

K: See you tomorrow xo

***

As much as I’d love to say I could handle getting myself to my flight on my own, I couldn’t. I hadn’t flown in a few years and that had been with a group of others. I was flying by myself now, and I have to do all the checking in and such as well.

I took a deep breath as I approached the security check line. I set my purse and backpack in one bin and my duffel in another before setting them on the metal rods that would take it through a detecting machine. I waited for the woman to wave me through the detecting machine, and I went through fine. I mean, I didn’t have anything that would set it off.

Once my stuff came through the other end of the metal rods line, I grabbed it and put the bins in the pile that was started. When I started walking away to find my gate, I realized I was stupid to be so nervous about going through the line.

Finding my gate wasn’t hard. It helped that the Cedar Rapids Airport was small. There’s like eight gates. I settled myself in a seat to wait until boarding was called. I took my phone out and busied myself with Instagram and Tumblr; I just scrolled through my feed, liking and reblogging stuff.

“Gate B is now boarding. If you are first class, you have a separate line. If you are G1 for the coach cabin, you can now board.”

That was me.

I took another deep breath, grabbing my three bags, and I walked over to the woman. She took my ticket, ripping off the part she needed, and then handed it back to me. “Enjoy your flight.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

I walked through the terminal and onto the fairly small plane. It was more of a jet. I found my seat and settled everything. I followed the directions given by the fly attendant as I waited for the plane to actually take off, and finally, we moved to be on the runway and ascended into the air.

Next: Ch 4

[Masterlist]

#Niall Horan #NH #Niall Horan fic #Niall Horan fanfiction #NH fic #NH fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #comedy #romance #drama #Tell Me a Lie

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crystalninjaphoenix · 5 years

Text

Nobody’s Home

A Stitched Story

JSE Fanfic

I need to write parts for this AU more often. Anyway, it’s a very short update, but the last one was pretty long so I guess it makes up for it. Blame classes for draining all my time and energy. Also, if you’re new and confused about anything, this AU has continuity, so maybe read the last two stories at least? Though you don’t have to. And now for the summary of this part. Umm...well, mostly it’s everyone recovering from the last part. And Jackie and Marvin are back! And Anti might be gone! But...something’s still up.

Tagging @septic-dr-schneep for inspiring this AU with this post.

Read where it started: Stitched Together | Season One

Previous season two stories: No Strings on Me | Nightmare World | Normalcy | The Notion of The End

“We have to go to the hospital.”

Chase had been in the midst of passing out when he heard Schneep speak. His eyes flicked open. The walk back to the apartment had been a blur; he was still half-expecting Anti to appear around the next corner. When they arrived home and nothing happened, the adrenaline crash hit him hard. And he wasn’t the only one. JJ was asleep on the couch, face buried in a throw pillow. Schneep was still standing, but his shoulders slumped and his eyelids drooped. Jack had disappeared deeper into the apartment, taking Jackie and Marvin with him.

Jackie and Marvin. Chase still couldn’t believe it.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, sitting up straight in the armchair he’d collapsed in. “Even if...he’s not going to show up, which he might, it’s still...they’re going to ask a lot of questions.”

“Not if we ask the right doctor for help. I know a few who would stay quiet.” Schneep rubbed his eyes.

Chase still hesitated. “But...they’re still going to ask. How are we going to explain...so much of this?” He gestured vaguely to the room. “Green strings everywhere, Jack’s eye, your eyes...technically speaking I’m pretty sure we’re all missing person cases. Can’t you just—?”

“No, I cannot!” Schneep interrupted snappishly. Then he deflated. “I am sorry. But Jamie...his ankle needs serious treatment. Even if I could see to do surgery, I have no proper equipment here.”

“Proper equipment for what?” Jack walked back into the living room. In his hands was a glass mason jar, and inside the jar was the strange...green string of light that he’d pulled out of Anti. It was writhing like a living thing, banging against the glass.

Chase stood. “Hey, dude. How are you doing?”

Jack smiled tiredly. “Physically? I’m great, not a scratch on me. Mentally? Uh...”

“I feel that,” Chase muttered. He hesitated. “And, uh, how are...?” He didn’t need to say their names.

“They’re...the same as me,” Jack said slowly. He shook his head. “Anyway, what were you saying?”

“We need to go to the hospital,” Schneep jumped in. “Jamie needs attention.”

Jack’s eyes flicked over Schneep. “You do too, y’know. Or did you forget you were bleeding?”

Schneep flinched, as if just remembering. “I think the bleeding has slowed. Is not too bad.” He said this as if his entire left side wasn’t soaked in congealing blood.

Jack exhaled slowly. “Okay, yeah, I don’t think my first aid kit can take care of that. But what’re we going to tell them? They’re gonna wonder what the hell happened to us.”

“I know some doctors who can be discreet,” Schneep said. “And will not ask about what happened if I tell them not to. Besides, I think the danger of no treatment outweighs the danger of people finding out what has been going on for so long.”

“Well, alright, you’re the doctor, you know best,” Jack replied. “You and JJ can go—”

“Hey, I’m coming too!” Chase interrupted. “Wait, no, not that I don’t believe in you, doc, but you’ll need help.”

Schneep sighed. “I know, I know. Jack, do you want to come, too?”

Jack shook his head. “I don’t really need to go to the hospital. Besides, someone needs to stay here and look after...you know. Make sure they’re recovering alright.”

“Good idea.” Schneep leaned down and shook JJ’s shoulder gently. “Jamie. Wake up. We are going to the hospital.”

Jameson lifted his head, blinking. Jack stiffened, deliberately not looking at the stitches. “You three should probably hurry,” he said. “So you can get back before it gets dark outside, yknow? You’re already pushing it.”

“Got it.” Chase walked over and helped Schneep lift Jameson up, supporting him. “We’ll be as quick as possible. I’ll text you about anything.”

Normally Jack would’ve pointed out that Anti could hack electronics, but after the earlier events, he wasn’t sure Anti was going to be able to hack, or do anything, for a long time. If ever again. “Alright. I’ll be waiting.”

The apartment was quiet, seeming empty without the three of them. The minute they left, Jack collapsed on the couch. God, what a day. Things had been going so well for the last few weeks, and then one bad day just...it felt like day one again.

Jack struggled to sit back up. He could deal with this later, right now he had a couple things to take care of. Starting with the jar in his hands. Jack held it close to his face, examining the string inside. What even was this? When he’d activated that strange vision—which, he was starting to suspect, was like he was seeing others’ souls—it had been holding that broken light in Anti’s chest together. When he’d pulled it out, had he pulled apart Anti?

The string was insistent in banging against the glass. He could feel every slight impact making the jar jolt a bit. It kind of looked like it was trying to go somewhere. Jack stood up, walked into the kitchen, and set the jar on the counter. He watched as the string pushed the jar across the surface. He grabbed it again, looking around the kitchen before his eyes landed on a plastic box next to the sink. Inside was some boxed health food that he hadn’t opened in months, so he felt no sadness when taking out some of those boxes to clear a space to put the jar inside. After making sure it was secure, he left, going to check on the other two, the ones they’d just found again after...god, it was years at this point.

Years, thinking that Jackie and Marvin were dead. Then, with Anti’s appearance came the discovery that they weren’t. That something awful was happening to them. And after all that time, they’d found them. It felt unreal, like a dream.

Or maybe a nightmare.

Something was wrong.

Jack entered the spare bedroom. Schneep and Chase had been staying here, but Jack thought they’d be okay with him giving the bed to their newly recovered friends. Honestly, he didn’t expect them to stay there. For Chase’s first few nights after being recovered, he’d refused to even touch the bed. Schneep had been restless, doing all he could to avoid sleeping. But Jackie and Marvin...they hadn’t even changed position. When Jack left them, Jackie had been laying on the right side of the bed, Marvin had been on the right, and the two of them had been facing each other, arms tangled in the space between them. And they were in that exact same position now.

They’d probably been through a lot. Maybe they were dealing with it by shutting down completely. Jack remembered Marvin in particular tended to do that. Still, something was...off.

“Hey,” Jack said softly. There was a chair next to the bed, which he pulled over and sat in. “You two okay?”

No response. They didn’t even look at him.

“I’m...” Jack cleared his throat. “I’m just going to check your pulses, okay?” After a slight hesitation, Jack leaned over and checked, first grabbing Jackie’s wrist and pressing his fingers there, then doing the same with Marvin. Their pulses were steady. But once again, no reaction. Not even a change in breathing.

Jack wasn’t an expert in trauma, but he was ninety percent sure that, even if someone was totally traumatized, there would be something. Not just this...stillness. Emptiness.

He stood up, leaning over Jackie and waving his hand in front of his eyes. Jackie’s eyes didn’t trace the movement at all. It was different than the blank stare Schneep had ever since the Nightmare. At least then, even if he didn’t follow the motion, you could tell there was something behind the eyes. Jack couldn’t see anything in Jackie’s eyes.

Jack sighed. He happened to glance down, and then he saw something that made him pause. Jackie was wearing a necklace. Or, more accurately, an amulet. A familiar looking one...Jack couldn’t help but reach forward and pick it up. The amulet was white and teardrop-shaped, a symbol made of green circles and lines on its surface. A crack broke across its surface. He dropped the amulet, looking over at Marvin. He had one too, this one on a frayed string, like someone had tried to cut it.

Jack would’ve recognized these anywhere. These amulets were identical to the ones Anti wore. After a moment, Jack stood up, mumbling something about being right back, and left.

Where did JJ put those magic books?

— — — — — — —

“We should’ve taken the bus,” Chase muttered.

“What? Upset about having to carry us all the way here?” Schneep chuckled. “You little bitch baby.”

Chase would’ve shoved him playfully if he wasn’t too busy supporting JJ, who was still half-asleep and too injured to walk properly. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Thank you.”

“Look, I’m just saying, we’re lucky the apartment is close to the hospital. Otherwise, we might not have made it. I would’ve driven us, but I have no idea where the fuck my car’s gone.”

“How close are we, by the way?” Schneep asked, adjusting JJ’s arm where it was thrown over his shoulder.

“I can see the building. We just have to hurry.” Chase tried to speed up. “I’m gonna assume we’re not gonna just walk right in?”

“Bad idea, that would cause a scene we do not want,” Schneep agreed. “Go around back. I picked up my card before we left, it probably still works.”

By some miracle, they made it into the building without being seen. “Now what?” Chase whispered.

“We need to find a room to rest for a while,” Schneep replied. “Then I can find someone who’d help.”

“Okay, where are those rooms?”

“I...” Schneep trailed off. “I-I know where they are. I know how to get there, but...I cannot...” He took a deep breath, blinking his eyes furiously.

“Okay. Well.” Chase looked around. “Right now we’re approaching an intersection. There are some signs on the wall, one’s pointing toward reception, one’s—shit there’s someone coming!” Chase grabbed Schneep by the sleeve and started pulling him down the corridor.

But it was too late. “Hey, you! What are you—oh my god, Henrik?”

Schneep recognized the voice. “Ah, hello, Darla.”

“You know this lady?” Chase hissed.

“We work together in the O.R. Or, we did.”

"What the fuck’s going on?” The sight must’ve been odd, to say the very least, to an outsider like Darla. From her perspective, she was seeing one of her colleagues, one who’d been missing for months, all of a sudden reappearing with odd scars on his face and a bloodstain on his sweater, accompanied by two men who looked oddly like him, one of whom was very injured. Schneep breathed a silent sigh of relief that at least Chase and JJ had picked up their bandanna and mask, respectively, before they left. Seeing the stitches would’ve been a different level altogether.

“I know, I know, this is very unusual, but I-I need a favor. We need your help.” Schneep made a vague gesture toward JJ, on the verge of losing consciousness. “He needs treatment.”

Darla took a step back, looking the three of them over. “Yeah, guess you do too, Henrik. How much blood did you lose? What happened to you?”

“Is...a long, long story. We do not have time, and...it is better that you do not know, anyway,” Schneep admitted. “Just...please. I will owe you anything in turn, just do not ask.”

“Hey, I’m going to help, I took an oath, you know?” Darla snapped to attention. “But you need to give me something, okay? Some kind of explanation, even if it’s a crappy one.”

“Yes, of course,” Schneep said, unable to mask his relief.

“Now, c’mon.”

Darla led the way down another hall. As they followed, Chase called out, “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to, uh, be able to give us a ride back, would you?”

— — — — — — —

It was solidly nighttime by the time the three of them returned to the apartment. “Hey Jack, we’re back!” Chase called.

There was no answer.

“Hey, Jack?” Chase poked his head into the kitchen. “Oh good, you’re just here.” He laughed nervously. For a moment he’d assumed the worst. “You okay? Actually...you awake?”

Jack was slumped over the kitchen table. More precisely, he was slumped over an open book of magic, three others open around him. Chase shook his head, smiling fondly, then walked over and shook Jack’s shoulder.

Jack bolted upright, arms suddenly pinwheeling. When he saw it was just Chase, he visibly relaxed. “Oh. It’s just you.”

“Yeah, just me.” Chase glanced at the open pages of the books. “What, uh...what’re you doing?”

Jack rubbed his temple. “‘M trying to find these amulets...”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, Anti had those amulets. We’ve been looking for what they are for...I dunno, since he’s been around.”

“Yeah, I know.” Chase rubbed his arms against the sudden chill.

“Well...” Jack hit the open book. “Jackie and Marvin have the same ones. It’s weird...was wondering if that was somehow important...” He yawned.

“You can keep looking in the morning,” Chase suggested. “Right now? You look tired, dude.”

“Thanks.”

“You should go to bed. We all should, actually. And y’know, tomorrow you can ask Jays about this. He’s the one who’s been doing all the magic stuff, and since the doctor lady we talked to said it’ll be a few weeks before his ankle’s healed, he’s gonna have a lot of time on his hands for research and shit. Or you can...ask the two of them about it?”

“I don’ think they’d answer...” Jack murmured. He closed his eyes. “There’s something...different about them.”

Chase said nothing for a while. “Well...there’s something different about all of us. Just give them time.”

Jack nodded, but he still looked troubled.

“So, uh...” Chase pointed down the hall. “Bed?”

Jack chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Not sure where we’re all gonna sleep now. We have the couch and two beds. I guess we could double up?”

“Just don’t interfere with my sleeping bag, and I’m good.” Chase smiled. “Hey, let’s go ask those other two where they want to sleep.”

“Yeah.” Jack stood, stretched, then walked into the living room. Once there, his face broke into a smile. “Y’know, I think they’re good for now.”

Chase poked his head in. JJ and Schneep had fallen asleep, with JJ stretched out on the couch and Schneep curled up in the armchair. “Oh. Welp, guess that’ll work for tonight.”

“For tonight, yeah.”

The night passed quietly, everyone sleeping peacefully. Except for two. Long past the others had fallen asleep, Jackie and Marvin’s eyes remained open. Though if they were “awake” or not was up for debate.

— — — — — — —

Jack woke up last, unusual for him. The first thing he did after waking up was go into the guest bedroom to check on Jackie and Marvin. No change. This was really starting to freak Jack out. He was starting to have uncomfortable flashbacks to the time Schneep spent in the Nightmare, his body motionless. But this wasn’t the same thing. Jackie and Marvin didn’t have the static-filled eyes that would indicate they were stuck in the Nightmare. And yesterday, when they’d needed to get home from Anti’s lair, the two of them had managed to walk home, with Jack holding their hands and guiding them. So it wasn’t the same thing. But maybe something else had happened.

Jack could already hear the sound of Chase and Schneep in the kitchen. Mostly it was Schneep telling Chase what to do and Chase probably failing. “Hey, uh...” Jack cleared his throat. “You two want anything to eat? You’re probably hungry.”

He wasn’t even sure why he was trying to get an answer from them at this point.

“Hey, c’mon, you need food.” Jack walked over to the bed. “Please? Anything?” He paused, waiting for nothing. “You don’t even have to say anything, just...”

After a moment, Jack reached down and shook Marvin’s shoulder, still getting no response. On a whim, he grabbed Marvin by the arm and pulled. Suddenly, Marvin sat up, now sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes were as blank as ever, but at least he’d moved. “There we go. Now, uh, just stand up? Go to the kitchen?” Jack grabbed Marvin’s hands and pulled again, managing to get Marvin into a standing position. “Uh...it’s just down the hall. You can go on.”

After a moment of silence, during which Marvin didn’t so much as twitch, Jack rounded the bed to the other side, repeating the process he’d done with Marvin, but with Jackie. Then he took a step back. This was...okay, this was weird. Freaky. And honestly, kind of creepy that they just...weren’t doing anything. Without prompting, at least. Jack bit his lip. “Okay, I guess...I can take you there?” He grabbed Marvin’s hand, then Jackie’s, and started walking. The minute he started moving, the two of them followed.

Jack ended up guiding the two of them into the kitchen, where Chase and Schneep were arguing about something or other. Jack cleared his throat. “Uh, hey guys?”

Chase glanced over, then looked away before suddenly whipping his head over. “Oh my god.” He covered his mouth with one hand, patting Schneep’s arm with the other. “It’s them, they’re—hey, how’re you guys doing? Need anything?” Chase lowered his hand and smiled.

There was a long silence. After a while, it was broken by Schneep. “Chase, are Jackie and Marvin actually here or are you playing me?”

“No, dude, they just came in with Jack,” Chase said insistently. He turned back to the two of them. “We’re making breakfast. You can have some. You don’t have to say anything, just...do you need anything?”

More silence. After a moment, Jack walked over to Chase and Schneep. “I told you, something’s wrong with them,” he said in a low voice. “They’re not...doing anything. Unless I make them do it first.” He paused. “They don’t have any stitches or strings, either, so...I-I don’t know what’s happening.”

Chase rubbed his wrists. “Well...maybe there’s some kind of lingering effect from whatever Anti did. We just need to get them used to being away from him, and it’ll probably fix itself. It’s...going to be fine. But for now...I mean...” Chase took a deep, shaky breath. “I-I mean, they have to eat. For, you know, health reasons. So maybe we can...I-I don’t know, just...” He swallowed. “Sort of...guide them to do that?”

“Do you guys hear that?” Schneep suddenly asked.

“Hear what?” Jack asked.

Schneep shushed him.

Thump! Thump!

“The hell?” Chase frowned. “It’s coming from...”

“I know where it’s coming from.” Jack circled around Chase and pointed at the plastic box on the counter. “ “It’s the string...or whatever, that came from Anti. I put it in here.” He reached inside and pulled out the jar with the string inside. The green glowing thread was banging rapidly against the glass, like it was too eager to get somewhere.

“That does not sound good,” Schneep muttered. “Put it back.”

Jack stared at the string for a moment, turning the jar over in his hands as he examined it. It hadn’t been trying this hard when he was in the kitchen last night. After a moment, he put it back in the box. “Keep an eye on that,” he said. “I’m...I’m going to go talk to JJ.”

When leaving the kitchen, he caught himself giving Jackie and Marvin a wide berth. He couldn’t really help it; they were really starting to creep him out.

JJ was still on the couch, where he’d fallen asleep last night, now idly scrolling through his phone. His injured ankle was now in a splint, his leg extended across the couch cushions. He’d taken off his mask, probably tired of it after falling asleep in it. When Jack entered the room, he looked up and smiled at him.

Jack sat down in the armchair. “Doesn’t that...hurt? Smiling, I mean.”

JJ put down his phone. Not really. They don’t hurt at all anymore. I imagine it’s similar to what piercings are supposed to feel like. Perhaps picking up on Jack’s discomfort, he continued, So, Chase told me you were looking through the magic books last night?

“Yeah, I, uh...did he tell you that Jackie and Marvin have amulets like...he wore?”

JJ nodded.

Jack shifted in his seat. “Maybe it’s stupid, but...I thought there was a reason for that. The two of them are...being weird. It’s almost like how Chase was, when he was...you know, his. But it’s different...somehow. I thought maybe the amulets were the cause.” He smiled nervously. “Maybe it’s stupid. But we’ve always been looking for what they mean in the first place. Thought I’d give it a try.”

JJ had perked up throughout Jack’s talk. Well, I believe I narrowed what the amulets were down to a few possibilities. Did you happen to get a close look at the markings on them?

“Uh, yeah, it was like...” Jack rubbed his neck, thinking about how to describe the symbols. “It was like two circles, one on top, one on bottom. And they had lines pointing at each other.”

Are you sure? JJ asked.

“Yeah.” Jack blinked, watching in surprise as JJ suddenly covered his mouth with both hands, eyes widening. “What? What’s wrong?”

I remember what those ones are for. JJ spelled out a word with signs. T-R-A-N-S-F-E-R-E-N-C-E.

“‘Transference’? What’s that?”

A black soul magic ritual, JJ signed gravely. It involves two participants, each wearing an amulet that links them, standing inside a protective circle. One recites the spellwords, and from there, parts of the two are...for lack of a better term, transferred to each other.

“That sounds...sketchy as fuck.” Chills were creeping across Jack’s arms. “What do you mean by ‘parts’?”

I don’t know the specifics, JJ explained. But from what I understand, the spell actually rips pieces of your soul off, then does the same to your partner, and then takes the pieces of your partner’s soul and attaches them to you, and vice versa. It’s supposed to give you some of your partner’s abilities, then magnify them.

“I’m sorry, it does what to your soul?!” Jack repeated incredulously.

Rip. JJ repeated the sign, more violently, like tearing a piece of paper apart. That’s why it’s black magic. You are destroying your soul and someone else’s. They will never be the same again.

Jack leaned back in the chair. “Why does Anti have two of the amulets for that? Why do Marvin and Jackie have the amulets for that?!”

Well, if I remember correctly, JJ signed slowly. When they were found, supposedly dead, it was inside a magical circle?

“Yeah—” Jack stopped, eyes widening. “Are you saying they were part of this ritual?” The words were barely audible.

Perhaps, JJ suggested, looking like he already regretted bringing it up. Perhaps the reason Anti has two, and they each have one, is because he somehow...performed it with them.

Jack stared back in the direction of the kitchen. “Is it...possible that he somehow...I don’t know, took too much?”

JJ didn’t say anything. Then: It’s possible.

Maybe...that would explain why they were so weird. Jack remembered back to that one December evening, when Schneep was confronted by Anti for the first time. He now recalled something he hadn’t before. Anti had asked Schneep what happened to Marvin and Jackie’s souls.

Or it’s possible...JJ suddenly signed, snapping back Jack’s attention. That something worse happened. That we can’t understand.

Jack closed his eyes. “I don’t think I want to know what’s worse than that.”

It didn’t matter if he wanted to or not. He would find out anyway.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #dr schneeplestein #jameson jackson #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #brigid writes fanfiction #stitchedstories #fixing stitching

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rosemcrys-blog · 4 years

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chicago’s very own 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐦 has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑠 - 𝑟𝑜𝑦𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑡𝘩 , welcome ! your resemblance to 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 , but being 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 might help you . i think being a 𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠 explains that . three things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝 , 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 , 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 . ( 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 . )

for an accurate description of me and the man who essentially runs my life , please click here for giggles . but hello everyone ! i’m johnny , twenty - two , and i go by either 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞 or 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 pronouns ! i’m super excited to be here and i’m really excited to write with everyone , so i won’t keep my own introduction long so we can go ahead and hop into everything about rosemary ! my discord is 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 .#6807 if that’s your preference for plotting over tumblr im’s , and before i go , stan loona !

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : kim eun - jung . 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : rosemary michelle kim . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬) : ro or romy , only . 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 / 𝐚𝐠𝐞 : december 15th , 1997 / 22 . 𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 : sagittarius . 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 : she / her / hers . 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 : cis - female . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : bisexual . 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : biromantic . 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 : 5′5″ ( five foot , five inches ) 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 : chicago , illinois ( click ! ) 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : new york , ny ( click ! ) 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 : korean - american . 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 : korean . 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 : korean , english , and conversational portuguese . 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫 : ballet dancer ; soloist with american ballet theater . 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 : alpha bitch , royal brat , bratty teenage daughter , socialite , daddy’s girl , and wicked witch .

kang eugene was a nineteen year old and already living in the wealthy district of gangnam in south korea thanks to her career as a drama actress . she mainly found her claim to fame starring in coming - of - age dramas that focused on high school or university aged students , but she had recently landed her dream leading role as a chaebol heiress looking for love in a ruthless world . she ends up meeting the love of her life that very year , and it’s purely by coincidence , when she gets into a minor fender bender with kim ho - seok , the heir of a multi - billion dollar real estate and construction conglomerate , who was back in korea while on vacation from school in the states .

eugene tried her best to keep their relationship as friends , mainly because her contract with her company put her on a dating ban for a few years , but it was nearly impossible for the young woman to turn down his attempts at wooing her . after a few months of sneaking around , eugene finally approached her company about her dating ho -seok , and surprisingly , they were on board . eugene and ho - seok had a rather whirlwind relationship , making their relationship instagram official in the matter of a month and eugene was wearing a promise ring once they hit their two month anniversary .

the only downside was that eugene had to stay in korea for her career while ho - seok returned to the states for school , but they promised and managed to make it work . during breaks , and whenever she had time , eugene was traveling to the states and whenever the summer months rolled around , ho - seok was back in korea . it came as a surprise to now twenty - two year old eugene when ho - seok got down on bended knee and asked for her to marry him at his graduation from the university of pennsylvania’s wharton school of business .

both american and korean media outlets were floored when they discovered the couple’s engagement , and it was hard to ignore the sizable ring that sat perched on eugene’s hand . so , the couple marries after six months of planning in a lavish ceremony in bali , indonesia . eugene’s contract with her company was up , and while she had the chance to renew , the young actress decided that she would take her chances in america’s scene . the couple decide to settle in chicago , where ho - seok was taking over the new headquarters of his family’s company . about eight months after settling in their new home , eugene had exciting news : she was pregnant .

after an instagram pregnancy announcement , photoshoot , and red carpet appearances with a protruding belly , eugene finally had their first and only baby girl ten days before christmas in 1997 , who they affectionately named eun - jung . being their only daughter , eugene and ho - seok smothered their daughter with the finest things . if you thought kylie got a lot for stormi ... that had nothing on the kims . growing up , eun - jung who’s name was assimilated to rosemary , attended the francis w. parker school in chicago ( they don’t wear uniforms there but i’m gonna pretend that they did because plaid pleated skirts ? chef’s kiss ! ) for the first few years , rosemary seemed to not have any interests in extracurriculars , only focusing on her academics .

it wasn’t until she was around thirteen years old when her parents took her to see the nutcracker for her birthday that year when she decided that she wanted to be a ballerina . eugene and ho - seok would do anything for their daughter , so despite the people who would laugh in their faces because their thirteen year old daughter was just starting ballet , they made sure that she would get whatever she wanted . the people who laughed soon found themselves with egg on their faces as rosemary had the natural ability to embrace the fine art , winning a top prize after only a year of training . soon after , she had grown out of her dance company and was soon training with the top coaches in chicago .

the sudden thrust into the dance circuit went straight to rosemary’s head which of course , changed her personality as a whole . she entered the upper school with her head held high and her posture straight , never letting those around them forget who she was . rosemary often found herself meddling and treating others without kindness , bullying those around her especially when she wanted something . when it came to yearbook superlatives , rosemary got whatever she wanted because she used her parents’ donations over them and promised things that she had no interest in fulfilling . rosemary was quite the bitch throughout her high school career , and she only ever really had superficial friends who only stuck close because of her father’s billion dollar net worth .

during her high school years , rosemary’s bullying had never gotten the physical realm , but she had definitely done a number on those of a lower social status ( yuck ) . however , rosemary was able to continue with her ballet ( and even managed to have a completely different personality when around her ballerina ‘ friends ’ ) . during her summers before her junior and senior years , rosemary traveled to new york where she spent summers training with the american ballet theatre . come her graduation from high school when she was only eighteen years old , rosemary moved out of her parents’ home in chicago to her current apartment in the plaza hotel , as she was invited to become a member of abt’s corps de ballet . she participated in a number of performances , ranging from romeo & juliet to swan lake to the sleeping beauty . after four years , rosemary was promoted to soloist , and she made full circle when she made her soloist debut as clara in abt’s production of the nutcracker . her all time dream is to become a principal dancer within the company .

outside of her career in dance , rosemary is a brand spokeswoman and stage performer , often participating in broadway productions during the off - season of abt .

when it comes to her personality , rosemary is every inch the girl that’s clearly had a silver spoon in her mouth since birth . she was always one of the popular girls in her grade , so naturally that went to her head . of course she’s used to being amongst the richest in her school , but rosemary still rides on an extremely high horse . she’s ridiculously petty and can be quite manipulative at times , also pulling out her bratty side whenever she feels like she needs to use it . she’s mean and vindictive , especially when she feels like someone has done something wrong to her ( no matter how small it may be ) . she can be nice when she wants to be and it all depends on if people are gonna challenge her or not . for the most part , she can be chill but she 100000% believes in the philosophy of if you can’t take it , don’t dish it out .

i ... would put a list of wanted connections here , but i kind of prefer brainstorming or going based on chemistry ! that being said , i do have a wanted connections tag that can be found on my page ( for whatever reason tumblr is saying it doesn’t exist but i promise , the posts are there >:/ ) !

#wealthyhq:intro #bullying cw #i'm hopping off for a quick second to take a shower #but once i'm back i'll be ready to plot w everyone !#um hfsb this is kinda long

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inkribbon796 · 4 years

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The Boy in Blue

Patton Birthday post.

Summary: Patton is used to having weird dreams. Fighting marshmallows, and traversing mountains made of fudge. But lately he’s been having some weird dreams. Ones that seem like memories that he doesn’t remember having. Memories of a childhood that never could have happened. It doesn’t help that the more stones he uncovers, the stranger things get.

It was a well-kept secret that while, Patton loved naps and comfy blankets, he hated dreaming. He, of course, kept it to himself. After all, telling other people would make them worry, and there was nothing anyone could do about his dreams.

Patton found himself in a hallway, eerie and unnatural shadows cast on the walls as he tried to find the kitchen but wound up in the living room for the third time in a row. He wanted to cry, all he wanted a midnight snack.

“Patty,” a lyrical, feminine voice called out.

“Mom?” Patton heard himself call out.

That’s not my mom! The rational, lucid-dreaming side of Patton’s mind reminded him. This isn’t my house. I like being Patton, but I wasn’t Patton when I was a kid! Where am I?

Still Patton turned around and saw Mayor Damien, looking exactly like he did when Patton had seen him four days ago, was smiling down at him in the middle of the hallway.

“Got lost looking for the bathroom again, Patty?” Damien walked over to him.

Patton felt himself start sobbing in relief and he rushed towards him. “Daddy!”

Damien frowned, but he knelt down and scooped little Patton up into his arms. He sighed, “You’ll get used to it. Kay and the others are adjusting too.”

Before Patton could be calmed by Damien’s words, or further driven into a panic that his father certainly wasn’t named Damien either, Patton was suddenly woken up from a dead sleep by a loud argument.

“Well it’s not my fault dude! How was I supposed to know he’d built a railgun?”

“Ye could’a looked, ye prick?”

Patton looked around, disoriented, his mouth dry and the Side felt like he’d been set on fire. “Who? Where?”

“Dude, you woke him up,” Bing told Marvin. The magician already storming off to fix his singed clothes, flipping the android off as he left.

Patton rolled off the couch, groggy but suddenly filled with adrenaline after his nightmare. He rushed towards Bing, grabbing the front of his shirt. “Where’s Logan and Roman?” Patton demanded desperately.

“Whoa, hey little buddy, calm down,” Bing tried to tell him. “Logan is off doing whatever the hell he does for the Host, and Roman isn’t back with Rey and Silv yet.”

Patton felt something inside him break. His whole body started shaking, he just curled into Bing, who was about as comfortable as trying to cuddle a steel wall. He felt like he was going to start crying.

“Hey, uh,” Bing tried to calm Patton down, but obviously didn’t know how to do it.

Patton was already pulling away, trying to smile and hold himself together. He had to. Patton didn’t have a choice. He’d just have to make do while they were on their missions. Patton couldn’t fuse with Virgil either, the emotional Side knew that Virgil wasn’t ready or willing to fuse with anyone of them. Especially when he tended to avoid them most of the time.

Dragging himself back over to the couch, Patton was about to sit down. He was stopped when he saw a small card on top of where his head had been laying. On one side it read:

That house takes and swallows whole,

Those that should not pay its toll.

NE 1085 Downwich Road

Patton visibly tilted his head at the note. On the other side was a quote, also printed: “You don’t speak of dreams as unreal. They exist. They leave a mark behind us.”

“Hey, Bing,” Patton called back to Bing who was eyeing him in concern. “Did you slip me this?”

Bing walked over, taking the card, “Nah, too cryptic for me.”

“Where’s it from?” Patton asked, his grogginess quickly fading away.

The android lifted his sunglasses and his eyes glowed green, scanning the card. After a second or two he answered, “It’s a quote from The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin. It’s a book.”

“What’s it about?” Patton studied the card.

“A man that can change reality through dreams, altering both the past and the present,” Bing answered. “You want the spoiler review?”

“Nah, I’m good without the play-by-play,” Patton told him, a pit forming in his gut. “I have to make a call.”

“You going out?” Bing asked.

“Yeah, I need to find the address?” Patton slid the card into a well-hidden flap in his phone cover.

“You mind if I tag along?” Bing took a step to follow him.

Patton almost shot him down, the need to not worry anyone around him almost too much for him to bear. But he shrugged, “Sure, if you want.”

“Thanks, I need to get outta here, and Host is still in,” Bing excused.

“Okay, I need to go in plain blues,” Patton told him. “Just let me make a few calls.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Bing saluted, and dimmed all his LED lights that accented his body.

Patton rolled his eyes, and began dialing a number that all the Sides, Dark or Light, had memorized.

“Joan,” Patton began after the phone picked up. “This is Patton, I need you to meet me at the Patisserie on 5th St.”

~::~ ~::~ ~::~

Patton didn’t like to dwell on the negative things in life. Life was too short, and he was too busy. But he’d always felt more like an observer, a trapped prisoner. Almost like a jigsaw piece from a sunny beach kid’s puzzle, trying to be crammed into a 1000-piece cityscape.

Patton and Bing calmly headed over to the pasty bakery on 5th st. It was a place that Patton liked to frequent, and right now Patton needed something familiar . . . and maybe some blueberry scones or some raspberry cheesecake.

Outside of the patisserie were Ethan, Robbie, and one of Patton’s old friends: Joan. All of them in ordinary clothes. Even Robbie was looking normal.

“Joan,” Patton cheered, racing over to give them a hug. “It’s been too long.”

“Why’d you chose here?” Ethan asked as Bing went to go sit down next to him. “We could have done this in the base.”

“You know,” Patton smiled with a huge grin, and motioned. “This place practically has my name written on it.”

Ethan cursed and smiled, Joan broke out in a laughed. Even Robbie and Bing were laughing.

“So we’ve got a couple free evenings,” Joan smiled.

“Want to help,” Robbie told all of them, his tone its normal slow and languidness, but no less excited.

“Okay first, I need some cheesecake,” Patton promised.

Joan held up a brown paper bag with the shop’s logo stamped onto it. “Way ahead of you.”

“Oh,” Patton sat down. “Thanks, Joan.”

Joan passed the compassionate side the bag, “Hey, what are friends for? B-team or not.”

“There’s not a B-team,” Patton scoffed as he dug out a small case for a large piece of cheesecake.

“Try telling that to the news,” Ethan scoffed, digging through bag of cookies.

“There’s not a B-team, and if there was, most of us would be on it,” Patton corrected. “Anyways, so I need you guys not to laugh.”

“No promises,” Joan gave Patton a wide smile.

“I’ve been having some weird dreams,” Patton kept going, Joan’s smile falling. “Really weird dreams. The kind that seem more like memories, but I don’t remember having them and they’re impossible.”

“Okay,” Joan point a finger at Patton, looking slightly concerned. “Not what I thought you were going to say.”

Immediately distracted, Patton looked at them. “Like what?”

“That you were going to confess to us,” Joan smiled. “You know, about you and Logan, and Roman?”

Patton looked at him in confusion for a bit, then got a little red. “I— Anyways! My dreams.”

“About boys,” Joan waggled their eyebrows.

“Stop,” Patton went fully red on the face. “I’m trying to be serious.”

“Hey, someone has to be overly invested in your love life, and Roman’s not here to pick up the slack,” Joan grinned, resting their chin on the palm of their hand.

“Patton about to explode?” Robbie asked in concern.

“If he’s lucky,” Joan answered

“Stop,” Patton putted Joan little. “There are kids here.”

“What kids?” Joan moved their whole head while rolling their eyes. “Ethan’s only a couple years younger.”

“My ears,” Ethan goaded, his voice going a bit high pitched. “They burn.”

“So what’s these dream about, besides a hot guy you haven’t gossiped with me about?” Joan segwayed.

“Celine is working with Dark, but I can’t prove it,” Patton confessed.

“Who Celine?” Robbie asked. “Nice?”

“I don’t think so,” Patton decided.

“She’s the person you ran into with Jack and Silver, right?” Ethan asked. “I remember Mark saying something about Damien having a sister.”

“Yeah, and I don’t think he lied about that, but she just seems really . . . I don’t know. I’ve seen her before, I know I have,” Patton didn’t know how to say how he felt without sounding like he was completely crazy. “And then I had another weird dream and I found this.”

Patton pulled out the note. “It’s an address in town. It’s an abandoned building in the Althone section of town.”

“Can I see that?” Ethan asked. Patton passed it across the table. Using the opportunity to take a couple bites from his cheesecake.

Ethan turned it over, Joan leaning over to look at it as well.

“Hey, I know this place,” Ethan commented, turning the card over a couple times. “I used to live close to there. It’s an old orphanage.”

“Really?” Patton leaned in.

“Well it’s not anymore,” Ethan corrected. “Shut down some five years ago. Don’t know why, but no one’s bought it since and squatters come and go through the place all the time.”

“So the place isn’t under Dark’s control?” Patton questioned.

“Not to my knowledge,” Ethan answered. “Do you think you’ll find something about Celine here?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going,” Patton decided, wolfing down the rest of his cheesecake. “You guys can come with, or head back to the base.”

“With,” Robbie decided.

“Like we’d leave you hanging,” Bing said.

Joan and Ethan quickly agreed, and after a quick plan, the small group made their way to the old building. At first, if not for Bing they would have missed it.

Patton, still in his street clothes, looked from the card to the rundown building. A sign that would have probably advertised the orphanage in complete disrepair. “This place used to be an orphanage?”

“Yeah, something about poor maintenance,” Bing answered. “The kids were moved somewhere else.”

“That’s really sad,” Patton said.

“I doubt there’s anything in there for us,” Joan decided.

Patton’s brow furrowed and he walked up to the front door, seeing a giant padlock on the front and warning to stay out. “There has to be something.”

Bing tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to a broken window. “Prolly should check there first.”

It took some effort and some careful climbing, but the group snuck in. They didn’t see any people hiding out in the building. In fact, they didn’t see anything other than rubble and broken glass.

“You said people lived in here?” Joan asked Ethan.

“I haven’t lived here in awhile, maybe they cleared the place out,” Ethan defended.

“Bing?” Patton looked over at the android.

Bing’s eyes flashed orange for a couple seconds, “There’s no records of governmental activity in the area.”

Patton and Ethan took the lead as they started to go through the empty rooms, any remnants of furniture or beds had long since been either taken or destroyed. But in the back was a small office. An empty office.

“Well this place was a bust,” Joan commented.

“No,” Patton groaned.

Bing however walked towards the back of the room and started tapping his foot on the floor in random places, his eyes glowing orange.

“Yah find something there?” Ethan asked.

“Maybe,” Bing knelt down, and then used his enhanced frame to punch a hole through the floor and pull out a dusty box.

The air was quiet, still, and then a piercing siren wet off.

Bing’s censor went off.

“We need to get out of here,” Ethan said.

“I’ve got five heat signatures on the way,” Bing warned, holding the box to him. “In bound in five minutes.”

“Get to a corner,” Ethan ordered, shoving Joan and Patton towards the closest corner. “Bing, behind me, now.”

Everyone followed his orders, and Ethan stood in front of them. The light in the room began to dim as color began to leech out of Ethan’s body. He didn’t quiet turn grey but it was close.

“Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t even breath if you don’t have to,” Ethan whispered, clearly exerting himself to cover than many people all at once.

After a minute, the door was kicked open as three guys in suits walked in, all of them with guns. They began to look around the room, glossing over the group as if they weren’t there. Patton could only guess they were some of Dark’s enforcers.

“Clear,” one of them called out of the room.

“There’s no way it’s clear,” Ed’s southern drawl barked at them, walking over to the hole in the floor, and starting to root through it. “Shit! How long has this thing been here?”

“Maybe they climbed through the window?” one of the enforcers gestured to it.

Ed turned on him, “Then you best figure out if they got away with anything before Dark kills us both.”

Sweat started to bead on Ethan’s face. Patton tried to hold his breath as Ed looked around.

“Evacuate the whole place,” Ed decided.

“But Dark,” one of the enforcers cut in.

“Will thank me later,” Ed snapped. “It’s compromised, an’ he said if it does to wash the whole place. Get a demo crew in. I don’t care, we’ll trash the whole place. L.O site be damned.”

Then he stomped out, the enforcers looking between each other before following after him. Ethan held on for an extra half minute to be sure they were gone. He almost crashed to the floor panting heavily.

“Thanks,” Patton whispered.

“Let’s just get out of here, we can call the cops a couple blocks away,” Ethan rasped.

“Good idea,” Joan agreed. “Who knows how many there are here?”

Quickly and quietly, the team just left, Bing helping Ethan out the window. They snuck down a couple blocks as Bing called in the police. Patton quickly taking the lockbox in Bing’s hands.

They were still trying to open it as Logan and Marvin came in to help the police search the building. After giving some testimonies, Logan took one look at Bing and box and just told them to head back to the station to investigate it.

After a quick trip, Bing and Robbie staying to help with the hideout, Patton was finally able to get the box open. All of them now in costume. Inside were a couple files. Some invoices of expenses that Patton quickly turned over to the police. But there were also a file, looking like it’d been hastily shoved inside the box.

Joan pulled them out and started reading through it.

“What it is?” Ethan asked as Patton was helping to separate out invoices with another detective. The Side looked over at what Joan was holding.

“They’re just some record files,” Joan answered. His brow furrowed in confusion.

“Who?” Patton asked.

“Patton Elijah Sanders, and an Arthur Stephen Isaacs,” Joan read off in confusion. “Wait a minute.”

“Let me see that,” Patton rushed over to him.

“That’s you right?” Ethan asked, leaning in. “Didn’t know you went to this place.”

“I didn’t, my folks are still alive,” Patton stared at what should, by all rights, be a picture of a very young Thomas. Probably around four or five at best. “My name’s not really Patton, and my middle name doesn’t even begin with an ‘E’.”

Ethan stared at him. “What?!”

Patton startled. “Long story, but my name’s Thomas.”

“Then why did you tell us your name was Patton,” Ethan asked, looked more than a little hurt.

“Because it,” Patton looked away, uncomfortable. “It’s super hard to explain. And I really shouldn’t get into it here without talking to Logan and Roman. The reason I became Patton, made it so I can fuse with Roman and Logan. We’re like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and my piece is named Patton.”

Patton just stared at his file. “I need to have a talk with Dee,” the Side decided. “He’ll probably just talk me in circles, but at least I can figure out if he knows something.”

Patton was already starting out the door to the room, and crashed into Logan.

“Any luck?” Logan demanded.

“I need to fuse, now,” Patton grabbed him by the arms, the clawing desperation from earlier in the day returning with full force and Patton didn’t think he could bear another second on his own anymore.

“A botched raid is hardly an emergency,” Logan told him.

Patton gripped onto the logical side tighter. “Fine, I’ll just ask Roman then.”

“Wait,” Logan said right before Patton could force himself to let go. “You’re— You—”

He took a deep breath and took off his visor. “Explain to me what’s going on and if you still want to fuse I will, I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, Patton nodded and walked back over to the files, Logan taking a look at them and the contents of the box, looking just as worried as Patton did.

Patton and Logan didn’t wind up fusing that day, but he did get enough cupcakes to go into a sugar coma and sleep off his troubles. Marvin and the Host helping this sleep be dreamless. Logan and Roman watching over him as best as they could.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Birthday Post #Thomas Sanders #Markiplier #Jacksepticeye #Ethan Nestor #Patton Sanders #Bingiplier #Joan Stokes #Robbie the Zombie #Logan Sanders #Ed Edgar #Undercover Work #altered reality

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