#and after my break I’m going to shift again bc I’m missing my DR friends even though I haven’t seen them yet

[shifting-haven]

Shifting Update: Tried to shift and got interrupted. Again.

I’m ticked. I’m taking a one-night break, though, to refresh my mind a little. (dont worry, I’m not taking a break because I’m ticked, I just think I need one.)

TL;DR: tried to shift, got very, very close, then something happened in my CR that snapped me out of it. I had to start over and failed bc I moved while doing the raven method

moral of the story: make sure you won’t get interrupted when you try to shift. And please, please listen to background noise or related audio that involves your DR, it helped me so much, and it might help you! Also, don’t move while using the raven method. That should be obvious, but evidently it wasn’t to me last night.

hhhhhh I was soooo close this time legit- I-

okay, so last night, after the whole shifting while awake fiasco, I decided to try and shift that same night. This time I did NOT follow my own advice (but it worked out in my favor this time) and instead listened to this sort of background noise/asmr/sleep aid thing related to my DR, and, holy shit, it worked SO. WELL. I’m not even lying. I’ve never been able to shift so fast or so effortlessly.

(I think it also helped me to react to the background noises like my DR self would, like when someone would play music I would think, ‘who the fuck is playing music this late’ or when I would hear talking I would think ‘if I weren’t so comfortable I would get up and kick their asses for waking me up’. Stuff like that. If you think that might help you then I would totally recommend it, it’s actually really fun, and I felt really connected to my DR self!)

(as you might be able to tell, my DR self has a short temper lmao)

Anyways, I’m getting off track.

So I played the background noise, I got settled in my bed, and I tried out my regular shifting method, and-

it worked.

I didn’t feel any of my scripted methods (i think those only work when I actually wake up in my DR, maybe I should script it differently?), but I did experience some unscripted ones (my body started to feel numb, I was itchy, etc). It was really great and I could feel my DR around me. I could even see some of those bright lights people keep talking about!

and then a car pulls into my driveway and startles me out of my limbo state-

Yeah, so, I almost shifted, and a car distracted me. I tried to shift again using the raven method, but I foolishly decided to turn my background noises off (they were working really well, I think if I had just left them on then I would’ve been able to shift better) and then I couldn’t fall asleep on my back.

so I moved. Y’know, like a moron.

DON’T 👏🏻 MOVE 👏🏻 WHEN 👏🏻 USING 👏🏻 THE RAVEN 👏🏻 METHOD 👏🏻 PLEASE 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

ah well. There’s always the night after tonight.

but hey, I believe in all of you! You can shift, it is literally so easy!! Do your methods, meditate, drink water, do whatever you do to shift because whatever it is, I have faith that it will work for you! Not ’it might’ or any bullshit like that, it will!!

[asher-west]

◦ ✧ 🌊 — intro !

⌠ CHASE STOKES, 23, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ASHER WEST! according to their records, they’re a FOURTH year, specializing in THREAT ELIMINATION + DRIVER’S ED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( windswept hair, the smell of the ocean, bruised knuckles, a lopsided grin, ripped denim ). when it’s the ( pisces )’s birthday on 03/18/1997, they always request APPLE PIE from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ lily, 19, she/her, gmt ⍀ 

@gallagherintro​

|| CONNECTIONS PAGE || PINTEREST || ABOUT || STATS || BIO ||

hey, it’s lily back again with another mess of a human being -- everyone say hi to my floridian himbo child asher! i love him a lot and i’m super excited for him to start interacting with everyone -- i binged outer banks the other day, saw chase stokes, and was like --   yep, that one please. ( i’m really not sure why i cursed myself with chase stokes bc at the moment he only has two gif packs, but wahey, i love his golden retriever face -- just be prepared for the same few gifs over and over lmao )

[ c h a r a c t e r ; ]

&. basics

full name: Asher Theodore West

nicknames: Ash, Theo

age: 23

orientation: heterosexual

relationship status: single

date of birth: March 18th, 1997

hometown: Edgewater, Florida

gender: cismale

language(s) spoken: English, Spanish

accent: central American

&. personality

five positive traits: loyal, gallant, reliable, self-sufficient, practical

five negative traits: overprotective, stubborn, undisciplined, impatient, quick-tempered

goals/desires: make a name for himself, support his family, have fun

fears: his dad, disappointing his friends/family, snakes

hobbies: surfing, driving, making people laugh

[ s t o r y ; ]  ( tw: abuse)

background:

asher was the result of a teen pregnancy (his mother was 17 and his father was 18), and grew up with practically nothing in a tiny house by the beach in edgewater, florida

nearly a month after he turned five, his mother gave birth to his little sister, willow -- she was his birthday present, his mom joked, as asher received nothing else that year

unfortunately, the birth of his little sister was the last straw for his dad, a 22 year old who felt trapped by his laborious job at the docks and growing family he never asked for

his dad became violent towards asher and his mom, lashing out for any small inconvenience or mistake, though rarely physically 

then one morning, asher and his mother woke up to find that his dad had disappeared with all their savings

asher’s mom was devastated and took on a job at the local diner, and his aunt cora came to help take care of him and his sister ( although ‘take care’ meant her coming over and passing out drunk on their tiny couch )

asher stepped up and started to practically raise his little sister, taking the burden of the child away from his already overworked mom

at thirteen, he started to take on odd jobs at the docks to help make money

at sixteen, his father reappeared on their doorstep with a bouquet of lilies (his mother’s favorite) and said he was sorry, and his mom welcomed him back, desperate to return to her fantasy of a perfect family

but his dad had not changed, and remained abusive, only this time it was much worse than when they were kids, and asher tried to direct his dad’s physical violence towards himself to save his mom and little sister

and when asher was 18, yet again, his dad disappeared, this time taking asher’s college savings with him

with his dream of college ruined, asher started skipping school to make more money at the docks, no longer caring about his grades

he even started to work night shifts -- but after one of the workers made a lewd comment about his thirteen year old little sister and he decked them, he lost his job 

he started to become implicated in more unsavory businesses, hearing about odd jobs from the more criminal side of town -- he was a getaway driver, made deliveries of ‘goods’, and was even sent to get money from people

as this resulted in him getting beat up, he worked his ass off to train and become better at fighting and driving -- the better he was, the more money he made for his family

when he was 18, he was approached by someone from blackthorne, enticed with the promise that the assassin life would set his family up for life

his two years at blackthorne were awful, and asher became miserable, throwing himself into his classes to try and become the best he could

when it shut down and he transferred to gallagher, it was easily one of the best days of his life

now:

asher became much more at ease at gallagher, starting to enjoy his classes and the prospect of becoming a spy rather than an assassin

his big brother tendencies bleed into his normal life, so he’s protective as fuck of his friends ( and, to be honest, anyone who seems like they need protecting )

he’s a certified dumbass ( he grew up in florida, for chrissakes ) and will get in a fistfight with someone twice his size if he so much as senses an injustice

he misses home like crazy - the sand, the sea air, the heat

he just really wants to do well, so he honestly tries his best in every single one of his classes

that being said, he’s a dumbass and loves to mess around ( like climbing the statue as a dare or trying to get into the forbidden rooms multiple times )

he’s easily aggravated, possibly a trait inherited from his father 

also his biggest fear in life is turning out like his dad

which is why he absolutely GUZZLES respect women juice

he still flinches sometimes when people he’s close to raise their voice around him, or if someone he’s close to waves their hand too close to his head, but he tries to hide it as best as he can

since he skipped most of his classes in his last two years of highschool, he can feel a little dumb around some of the super smart people at gallagher, making him incredibly embarrassed

he’s also very touchy when it comes to money problems, due to his poor upbringing

others:

when he was a kid, before he had to worry about his dad, he got into surfing, and it became his favorite thing of all time -- he misses it loads while at gallagher 

he LOVES to sleep in

loves to make people smile, and just generally likes being in a happy environment

since his mom works at a diner, he adores pies and diner food because they remind him of home

does the ‘hang loose’ sign with his hand way too often -- it started off as a joke when people learnt that he surfs, but now it’s engrained in him

his hair is a floppy mess -- his dad used to have super short hair, and asher thinks he looks a little too much like his dad with short hair, so the hair remains long.

almost too long, tbh, but he can just make a man bun, so he likes it

his sister makes fun of his long hair all the damn time

he’s terrible with technology -- a genuine Old Man when it comes to computers and phones, but he tries his best

he’s really good at cooking, after making most meals for his sister as a teenager

[ W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S ; ]

best friend — i need him to have a super loyal close friend he can bond with, maybe even a partner in crime?

bros — please please please give me some fellow dumbasses he can do stupid things and make bad decisions with!

romantic interests — could be past flings, or current flirtations, but he’s a charming man, and respects women, so he’s a catch and has probably charmed a few ladies around the school 

exes — he despises the idea of ever hurting someone or breaking anyone’s heart, so maybe he has a few exes that he’s still good friends with? or, alternatively, for the angst, there was a bad breakup and he’s plagued by guilt.

budding romance — i’m a sap and a sucker for tropes so please give him his soulmate! 

little sister — i would absolutely love for someone to play his sister - maybe she followed him to gallagher to be closer to him, or to follow in her big brother’s footsteps? i’m gonna put this up on the main but if anyone wants dibs, please message me!

anything else — like i said in calypso’s intro, give me anything and everything, please! i love having a wealth of established connections. 

tl;dr — asher is a lovable, overprotective surfer dude, who grew up poor with an abusive father and a basically absent mother, and he practically raised his little sister, causing him to develop a paternal complex towards anyone he deems in need of help. he will get in a fight with anyone over any injustices, but he also just likes to hang out with friends and ~chill~! 

i hope you all love him as much as i do!

[zodiacal-dust-and-curls]

It’s Late (Ch 1)

A/N: This is a work of fiction! It takes place in an altered universe where certain member's partners don’t exist. Should line up with the Sheer Heart Attack tour. No one requested this. @rogers-wristbands was kind enough to proof read for me (thank you, love). I’ve been told that I’m no longer allowed to come for anyone’s whole life just because I’m sad (bc I definitely did. I came for my own favorite.) Enjoy!

Warnings: Angst (like you wouldn’t believe), Cheating (very bad. I do not condone this), Pregnancy (Unplanned), Mention of Abortion, Swearing

Word Count: 1.6k

The boys had been on tour for about a month now. It felt much longer than that thanks to waking up to a routinely empty bed. You’d had phone calls nightly, but a disembodied voice did nothing to soothe the ache that was beginning to burn through your soul.

Brian usually called you at the same time every night. Just before you went to bed, which was before the show started but after soundcheck. Tonight, the call was running late. John had managed to sneak a call in to check on his favorite un-biological sibling. Yes, he really insisted on using that term, just to get under your skin and drive you a little crazy. After years of pretending to hate it, you’d grown quite fond of it and missed hearing it while he was away.

“What do you mean he hasn’t called?” You’d swear you could see his eyebrows furrowing through the line, his mouth managing to flatten and pout at the same time. “He left 30 minutes ago to go back to his room and change before the show. He’s had plenty of time.”

“I guess I’ll just have to be the one to call tonight.” You said a little wistfully, Something wasn’t sitting right with you. “Can I have the number for your hotel?”

“Sure. Ask for room 615.”

“Dr. M’s room. How can I help you?” It came through the line too giggly, too feminine, and absolutely wrong.

“If you could put Mr. May on, I’d appreciate it.” You managed to hide the venom in your voice surprisingly well, but you were sure your facial expression told a very different story. Thank the powers that be for telephones not having a video option.

“Briiii ~ phone for you.” The mystery woman called out.

“Who is it Junie?” You heard call back.

“They didn’t say, but they did ask for you by name.” She must have forgotten to cover the receiver because the amount of giggling you heard next was enough to make you forget all the coolness you had purposefully injected into your tone.

“Hello?” This voice you knew. You’d heard it every night for the last 12 months either in person or over the phone.

“Hello, Bri.” The malice in your voice was clear. You could hear the blood draining from his face over the line. “Lose my number and don’t bother coming to see me when you get back. Tell Junie I said hello.” The last thing he heard was a click then a dial tone.

The show that night was a disaster. John had told you as much the next morning when he called to chew you out for messing with the guitarist’s head. The conversation quickly turned around when you told him what had happened.

You still got nightly phone calls, but now it was your oldest friend and confidant instead of the man you thought you loved.

About 2 weeks after the switch, you noticed you were feeling sick all the time. You’d mentioned it to John and promised to see a doctor if it stayed that way for more than a week.

“Johnnie,” you breathed out in a sigh of relief when the phone rang that night. True to your word, you’d gone to the doctor after feeling like crap for a week. “I’m so happy to hear your voice right now.” It was starting to come out in sobs, all your forced composure slipping from your grip.

“Hey, hey, Y/N. Breathe.” He whispered to you and hoped that his words would provide the comfort that his arms could not. “What happened? What did the doctor say?”

“John . . . I’m pregnant.”

The silence that followed was not what you were hoping for, but you knew it was a distinct possibility. John quietly followed it with death threats to the only person he knew could be the father and promises to support you with any decision you made.

The band would be home in 2 weeks for a short break. Brian seemed to have lost your number and you had no intention of looking up one for him to tell him this news. You told John that you still had time to make your decisions and wanted to see him in person before making anything real.

The day had finally come. You were estimated to be about 8 weeks pregnant. John had promised to come see you before running off to Veronica’s. As a man of his word, he knocked on your door early that afternoon and scooped you into a hug. You weren’t ready for that hug to send you spiraling into a mass of tears, but it did. Having John back meant decisions had to be made, people had to be told, things had to be done.

The one thing you knew for sure was that ‘having some sort of an accident’ was completely out of the question. The little bean growing inside you was partly you. They had been your most constant companion through all the heartbreak and anger you’d endured. Your little bean was going to live, you just weren’t sure you were the best option for a parent.

John once again kept his promises and supported your decision. He hadn’t told a single soul of your situation, but now it wouldn’t be a secret for much longer. The break was only for a week to regroup with loved ones before continuing the tour. If you were going to keep bean, there was someone you’d have to tell and a signature you’d have to collect.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” You had heard those words too often in the last few weeks. First from John, then your parents, and now from Brian.

“And what would you propose as an alternative, Mr. May?” You had said his name with such contempt that it would be difficult for a passerby to believe you’d been in a loving relationship at any point in time.

Brian just looked at you sadly. He’d never gotten the chance to apologize and it looked like he wasn’t going to. You had come over, accompanied by John, to inform him of your new situation and get him to sign away his parental rights. If you were going to have your little bean, Brian would have no say in the matter.

“It’s just that this is my child too, Y/N,” he had always wanted to be a dad one day. It broke his heart that his eldest child wouldn’t get to know him.

“Are you joking?” Something about your quickly shifting hormones pushed you to anger quite often. At this moment you could feel it pulsing through your veins and pooling in your stomach, as if to make a protective cover for your little bean that was growing there. “You wouldn’t even know if I didn’t need you to sign this. As far as I’m concerned, you lost all privileges to have a say in how I conduct my life the moment that woman entered your room.”  

Brian wanted to bite back at you. He wanted to be angry, but the only person he could find at fault was himself. He slowly signed the document and passed it to you.

John had been characteristically quiet throughout the whole exchange. He just watched for the moment things went to far and he would need to intervene, but it never came.

“Good bye, Mr. May, and good luck with your future endeavors.” You removed some of the anger from your voice as you said your good-bye, opting for a cool if almost business like tone. You could feel John watching you, waiting for the next outburst.

“Good bye, Y/N. John.” Brian let you leave without trying to convince you of anything further.

You were lucky to make it through the majority of your pregnancy with minimal complications. Morning sickness was a bitch, but it ended early in your second trimester. John delivered a bit of good news the same day your morning sickness ended.

Veronica was pregnant, too. You had someone to formally bond with while you made it through your journey. Also, your little bean would have a lifelong friend, just like you did.

With the band wrapping up a tour and planning to record every day, you and Veronica grew very close. So much so that John started to feel like he was being replaced by his own wife. You reassured him of his importance in your life by asking the two of them to be godparents. They gladly accepted.

Days came and went as time passed you by. You’d been so busy preparing for the little one to finally make their appearance, that you were almost shocked when your water broke. Luckily, a phone call to the Deacon residence (and to your parents) gathered all the necessary people to meet you at the hospital.

Several hours later, you were greeted by two smiling faces holding a small white bundle. Labor for you had been intense and after the initial skin contact, you more or less passed out.

“Good morning, mumma.” You heard Ronnie’s sweet voice greet you as you turned your head to look at her.

“Good morning.” You smiled gently, still extremely tired from delivery, but absolutely delighted that John and Veronica had waited to see you.

“I hope you don’t mind, darling, but we couldn’t stop ourselves from seeing our godchild.” John spoke this time. He only called you darling when he really wanted something from you, or when he was feeling extremely vulnerable.

“Of course not.” You smiled at the pair of them, feeling something loosen in your chest. In just a few short weeks, you’d be back for their little nugget’s delivery. “However, I do think that it’s breakfast time for the two of us.”

“Quite right, Y/N.” Veronica passed you the bundle she’d been holding.

Looking at your little girl made you so incredibly happy. Thank heavens you had decided to keep her, your little bean. She made everything worth it.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this and I’m sorry. Leave me some feedback! I’d love to come for someone else’s fave. 

Ch 2 - Ch 3

[awed-frog]

So, the cuestion about writing it's just... I love writing, I love reading, I love my ideas and I really believe they're good ideas, but I can't finish them and I really don't know why. I thought maybe it was bc I had to plan them better, or bc I had to let myself just write and see what happens in the moment; I thought maybe the problem it's that I should tell them in a different way (like for a comic that then I could draw) but nothing I do works and it really hurts

Hi there! Thanks for writing back! So, what you’re describing is really a common feeling - I think most writers or artists have felt this way and can recognize what you’re describing. I’m going to talk about my experience, and I hope you can find something that you can relate to and that can be helpful to you.

The tl;dr part is, I think there are many possible causes for not being able to finish a story. Here are a few of them:

you’re having technical problems

you’re too much of a perfectionist 

you can’t put on paper what’s in your head

you’re having what I call ‘the Vermeer problem’

you have too many ideas for other stories and can’t focus

you’re experiencing a lack of support for your writing

you are bored with your own story

you’re afraid to finish the story

you can’t finish the story

you can’t tell these things apart

Let’s have a look at them, and remember - I’m talking about my experience here, so this might not apply to you at all. I’m just talking into the void hoping this will help you in some way.

1) This is the most common problem for someone who’s only just starting out. You know your beginning should capture the readers’ attention, but you don’t know how to make that happen. You know the ending should be spectacular and magically solve every issue, but you don’t know how to get there. Since we are rarely taught creative writing in school, this is completely normal, and there’s no easy way to get past it. Like for everything else, you’ll need a lot of practice, and maybe some kind of formal instruction (for instance, this is a good book, but there are many more). So, you know - do what works for you. Maybe join a writers’ club, or an online challenge. Read and reread books you like, and remember to read them ‘with the mind-set of a carpenter looking at trees,’ as Terry Pratchett put it. If you can, write every day - I find codas are a great way to practice, get better and get read (and if you’re comfortable to, you can ask your readers for pointers or criticism). Not being very good at writing is a big problem, but it’s also a problem you can solve. 

2) Being a perfectionist is one of those things that often trips you up more than it helps you, and there are some areas of your life - relationships, foreign languages, writing - where you have to let go of it. If this is an issue for you, remember that everyone is crap when they start out (do you know the original lyrics to Beatles classic Yesterday? ew!) and maybe experiment with breathing exercises, with yoga, or try writing with a soundtrack to get out of your mind a little. So, really - I’m not saying perfectionism is bad, but save it for your baking efforts and last drafts - your first draft gets to be as crappy as it likes.

3) This is a very common problem. When you do creative things, be it writing music or quilting, there’s often a great deal of anxiety and dissatisfaction in finally starting a project because the more your work, the less it looks the way you’d imagined it would. Sometimes I write something that’s supposed to be sad, or that was hilarious and sexy inside my head, and the I reread it and it’s just - flat. This happens to virtually everyone, but there’s something very important we need to remember: in the words of Jim Sollisch, “Writing is the art of figuring out what you know, not the process of recording what you already know”. Think about it like this: the inside of your head is a different country. Writing down a story is like finally getting to that city you’ve been wanting to visit for ages and ages - sure, you’ve seen all the IG pictures and you’ve planned your visit and you’ve fainted and drooled over museum websites and recipes of traditional dishes, but now you’re here, and it’s real, and it’s different. You’re here, and maybe it’s raining, and maybe that famous art gallery is closed on Sundays, and maybe that blueberry pie is way, way too sweet for your taste, but still - you’re here. Isn’t it wonderful? You can smell this city and walk down its street and discover small secret corners you never even knew existed and maybe fall in love with this one person you never ever thought you’d meet. So this, to me, is a necessary step to writing: to accept that daydreaming is good, that planning can be useful, but when the time comes, you have to let go of all of that and discover the reality of what your story is like.

4) I don’t know if you read Tracy Chevalier’s Girl with a Pearl Earring - it’s a favourite of mine, and I reread it a couple of times because I love how she writes UST, how understated and yet vibrantly present the feeling is. And anyway, towards the end of the book, the portrait is finished - this one, I mean -

- and everybody says Vermeer should finally sell it and start painting something else - only, Vermeer is not happy. He takes to spending hours in his studio - not painting, not working - just staring at the thing, because it’s beautiful and balanced and textbook perfect, but something is missing and he doesn’t know what (if you haven’t, please read the book and find out how he solves this, because it’s really beautiful). This is a feeling I often have when I read a first draft - everything that I wanted in there is in there, but something still feels - off. And here, I think, there’s no magic way of solving the problem - you can either ask a beta for help, and hope they see it, or you can keep working on it (and reading other stuff, and practicing, and getting better) until you see it yourself. 

5) This is another familiar feeling: you start writing something and BAM, you’re distracted by something else. And here, you need to find out what kind of person you are, because some blessed people can work on two projects at once, and others just can’t. Me, I always fool myself and think, ‘I’ll just work on both things, a week has seven days, how hard can it be’ - but nope. Right now, for instance, I’ve got about thirty books of Roman history on my desk because there was this story screaming at me and deafening me and I really wanted to get it out of my head, but today I’m finally giving up and bringing all that stuff back to the library and accepting this is not going to happen - not right now. Not as long as I’m writing a different story and I’m in a completely different headspace. And if you’re the same way - just keep a folder, or a notebook, and fill it with these half ideas and pieces of dialogue and then put them out of your mind. One story at a time - that’s a good and reasonable goal. Because another problem of a beautiful and tantalizing scenario popping into your mind when you’re struggling to finish a chapter for something else is - that other thing is automatically going to look more appealing, because it’s not real, because it’s untested, because you haven’t ruined it yet. And that’s why you’re tempted to abandon that stupid thing you’ve got in your hands that’s not working and go pursue something else. But, again, that’s probably not the best idea. Sometimes you just need to see a story through, no matter what.

6) That said, it’s hard to finish a story when you’re keeping it to yourself. I used to be paranoid about sharing things, but fanfiction helped me to appreciate the importance of feedback. So even if you’re writing original fiction, it could be a good idea to give fanfiction a try - signing up for a bang could help you to stay motivated and focused (you’ll have a beta, and maybe an artist!), and writing codas will usually get you some attention, because many people will automatically look for codas and ‘missing scenes’ after the end of an episode. If you’re not interested in that, consider sharing your work with a friend, a teacher, or a writers’ group. 

7) This is a tough one. Maybe you’re writing fanfiction and fall out of love with the show. Maybe you’re writing original fiction but you’re no longer interested in the story. It’s okay - not every story is meant to be. You’re allowed to give up (and you never know - there are writers who go back to their manuscripts ten years later, so I would advise against burning everything in a fit or rage). The trick here is giving up for the right reasons, so before you decide to walk away, look at your story again and ask yourself: what is it that’s not working? Could this get better with a new, exciting character? Should I drop this stale plot twist? Go with a different ending? If you can get your mojo back by shifting the pieces around, give it another try; but if the whole thing’s just a chore, and you simply lost interest, move on.

8) Many of us have a problem with endings. Ending a story usually means leaving your characters behind, and close a period of your life. If you write longer stories, fics and novels are like songs - they’re usually tied to very specific moments, and in letting them go you also let a part of yourself go. Plus, there’s always a lot of pressure on getting the ending right, because that can make or break a story, and it’s often the moment when big things happen - maybe there’s a slowburn that’s getting real, and you’re afraid the long awaited kiss won’t measure up to the fireworks display you implicitly promised your readers. Or maybe someone’s dying, and you’re not ready to say goodbye. Or maybe the big plot twist you’ve been teasing forever and ever just seems childish now, and you’re not sure how to make it more impressive. Whatever the reason, endings are hard. But, again, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. A lot of things can change between your first and last draft, so you have some time there. If you’re writing fanfiction, your readers will appreciate to finally know what happens, and if you’re hoping to publish your manuscript, an editor will probably help you to shift things around and make them better. Plus, as difficult as it is to say goodbye to this world you know intimately well, there’s also a sense of relief in finishing anything that takes up so much of your time and soul. It feels good. So: breathe. Relax. Write. 

9) A distinct problem is that you objectively can’t finish the story, or even get past the middle, or past two pages of heartbreaking dialogue, because you simply don’t know enough about that world yet. You have this great idea but you’d need to be an expert in microbiology, or cordon bleu cuisine, or deep space, to make it work. Or maybe you’re daydreaming about your very own Westeros, but your writing keeps getting interrupted by stupid, yet necessary details (how far away are these two cities? how fast can horses travel? what kind of swear words would a character with a made-up religion use?). If you’re devoted to your story, and determined to make it work, you’ll need to do research and plan and get answers to your questions before starting to write too extensively, because the wrong scientific detail can make your entire plot collapse. And the thing is, doing research is not always possible. Maybe you don’t have time right now, or access to the right resources (speaking of, there are some excellent blogs here on tumblr that will help you with making stuff more believable - a favourite of mine is @howtofightwrite). So, it’s painful, but there are some projects that need to be postponed, and others that will probably never happen at all. 

10) Finally, a big problem is that sometimes it’s hard to tell these things apart. Are you bored with your story because you can’t write a certain scene, or is it just a boring story? Are you being a perfectionist, or is this chapter actually out of balance and weird? Is this ambitious story too much for your current skills and knowledge, or are you just giving up? There is no easy answer to these questions, which is why I think it’s important to not walk away too easily - maybe come back when you’re in a better mood, or change your writing soundtrack, or set up a fake interview with yourself explaining why you’re so happy your novel is now taught in every school in America. If you can’t write, try drawing. If you can’t draw, create a moodboard for your characters, or a fake Wikipedia entry for your imaginary country. Play around with your story. Switch POVs. Create walls. Write scenes you won’t necessarily include in your final draft - get your characters trapped in an elevator, have them fired, have them hurt someone, or reminisce on childhood memories, or trudge through a really bad day. Go through writing prompts or shower thoughts or creepy Wikipedia entries and write something about that. Try to truly be honest with yourself, day after day (maybe keep a diary?), so you can get better at understanding whether it’s time to power through or time to take a break. 

Finally, I think that engaging in creative activities, whatever they may be, should be a way to make your life better, not worse. There are times when you’re just not inspired, times when you have zero ideas and zero wish to write or art or do anything, times when it’s actually better to focus on other things - your studies, your work, traveling, relationships - so that one day you’ll have something to write about. And that’s okay. Writing is like life - it’s messy, and it changes, and you change, and you just have to be patient with yourself and find a balance between loving the hell out of it and not take it too seriously. I hope this could help with getting you started, and I wish you all the best for your life and those stories crowding inside you, waiting to be told.

[jilyss]

stood up

inspired by @jilys and @alrightpotter and everyone else who has made lovely group chat aus

this is one inspired by the prompt “i got stood up and you sat down and started talking to me who are you”

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: what would u say if i broke ur heels

Marlene McKinnon: i would murder u w. Out thinkng abt it

Lily Evans: ….

Lily Evans: i broke ur heels

Lily Evans: marlene

Marlene McKinnon: blocked

*

Dorcas Meadows to diagnose me dr lily: lily

Dorcas Meadows: i have a rash on my arm lily diagnose me

Lily Evans: pneumonia

Dorcas Meadows: ???,,,,???? Its getting worse???...

Lily Evans: did u try turning it off and on again

Lily Evans: geez i m not a doctor yet

*

Marlene McKinnon to all boys r twats: dorcas i just saw snape and rosier following after lily

Marlene McKinnon: oh shIr

Marlene McKinnon: Lils

Marlene McKinnon: im coming to get u stay there

*

Lily Evans to Severus Snape: if u come near me again i will grind ur balls in a blender

Severus Snape: you know I’m right

Lily Evans: you’re a white supremacist

Lily Evans: YOU are wrong

*

Marlene McKinnon to Dorcas get me those spicy pita chips: what did snivelus say

Lily Evans: ‘’’’’im a nazi’’’’

Dorcas Meadows: rly

Lily Evans: no but basically

Lily Evans: i need booze asap

Marlene McKinnon: i got lots

Dorcas Meadows: omw

*

Dorcas Meadows to lily needs to get laid: mission imposible: how about Peter Pettigrew

Lily Evans: pass

Dorcas Meadows: u say that about everyone

Lily Evans: and

Lily Evans: i m focusing on school rn

Dorcas Meadows: do u even know who pettigrew is????,,?

Lily Evans:  y es

Marlene McKinnon: just one pls

Dorcas Meadows: lil if you go on one blind date ill take you to nandos

Lily Evans: deal

Lily Evans: but just one and not peter pettigreq

Lily Evans changed group name to i deserve better friends than these weeds

*

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: where am i meeting him

Marlene McKinnon: corner of 165th by tha t pizza plce

Marlene McKinnon: he said hed b inside

Lily Evans: he better b hot

*

Marlene McKinnon to tminus 0 days until lilys date: LILY

Marlene McKinnon: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STOOD U UP

Marlene McKinnon: IM SO SORRY

Marlene McKinnon: EVANS

*

Lily Evans to blondie + inferiors with rat nests: marlene he was rly hot ur the best

Lily Evans:  wait what

Dorcas Meadows: ?,,,,,,,???

Lily Evans: he stood me up?

Lily Evans: then who was i with last night

Lily Evans: Marlene McKinnon get ur butt over here with the nandos Marlene McKinnon: it’s 3am lily why did u just get back ;)))))

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: who r u rly

James Potter: oops

Lily Evans: r u actly james ?

James Potter: yeah srry i didnt know what to say u just kind of sat down

Lily Evans: ?? I was there first twat

James Potter: u were rly cute

James Potter: what cna i say

Lily Evans: so u just sat down with a random stranger and pretended to know me

James Potter: yes ?

*

Lily Evans sent a picture to group: what Do I dO

Marlene McKinnon: James Potter SAT NEXT TO YOU?

Dorcas Meadows: the CUTEST guy at on campus???

Marlene McKinnon: to clarify

Marlene McKinnon: the star football player who also happens to be v hot and buff sat next to u bc u were cute??

Lily Evans: i got stood up and i guess i didnt know who he was

Lily Evans: he was a little concieted

Lily Evans: and not that hot

Dorcas Meadows: ur in denial

Marlene McKinnon: ur name together is lames

Lily Evans: .....

Dorcas Meadows: so what happened after the date

Marlene McKinnon: u didn’t come back until late late

Lily Evans: ..nothing

*

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: whats wrong with james

Remus Lupin: he went on a date with Lily Evans

Sirius Black: the redhead in his calc class

Remus Lupin: yeah

Sirius Black: oh

Sirius Black: he’s in a daze and wont move

Remus Lupin: tell him theres a spider on his bed

Sirius Black: he didn’t move

Remus Lupin: woW

Sirius Black: im calling 911

Remus Lupin: nO

Peter Pettigrew: too late

*

Marlene McKinnon to Sirius Black: theyre the worst

Sirius Black: tell lily to meet u at the library

Sirius Black: ill get james to go to

Sirius Black: also how did u get this #

Marlene McKinnon: it wastn that hard

 *

Sirius Black to James Potter: meet me at hte library in 10

James Potter: u never study

James Potter: r u trying to set me up again with evans

Sirius Black: no ?

James Potter: wanker

James Potter: leaving now

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: im not good enough to be a doctor

Lily Evans: i just got fired from the pizza parlor

James Potter: yike what happened

Lily Evans: fell asleep during my break n missed my shift

James Potter: im coming with nandos

Lily Evans: im in the tesco parking lot

James Potter: np

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: ur gonna crush it today!!

James Potter: are u coming

Lily Evans: ofc

*

Marlene McKinnon to lily ate the chocholate and deserves disembowlment: lily and james just hugged after he won the cup and

Sirius Black: most sexually charged hug i’ve ever seen

Remus Lupin: is that an apostrophe

Sirius Black: there are more important things to worry about right now

Peter Pettigrew: who put Marlene on this chat

*

Lily Evans to We”RE OUT OF CHOCOCLATE: so

Lily Evans: theres this guy who is hot and toned

Lily Evans: and also happens to be mischevious and smart and is good at literally everything

Lily Evans: but also has a big head and generous and super rich

Lily Evans: and i cant tell if i hate him or like him

Dorcas Meadows: r u kidding me lily

Marlene McKinnon: a match made in heaven

Lily Evans: i cant TELL

Marlene McKinnon: im texting him right now

Lily Evans: NO DONT

Lily Evans: mar i will kill you im not even sure yet

Lily Evans: some people said i just want him as my sugar daddy

Marlene McKinnon: who said that

Dorcas Meadows: snape

Marlene McKinnon: he’s an asshat don’t listen to him

Lily Evans: but what if potter just leaves

Lily Evans: there are way better girls for him

Lily Evans: ones his parents would approve of

Dorcas Meadows: thats bs and u know it

Marlene McKinnon: ^

*

Lily Evan’s Notes: u just do everything perfectly theres nothing you could do wrong and its unfair and you have perfect messy hair thats so beautiful and i could stare at the stars for hours with you just because nothing can stop you and u want to learn everything like i do and your the only person i can call at 2am without worrying and your tall and i think im in love

*

James Potter to Lily Evans: sitting on third floor by statue of humphrey

Lily Evans: can you pick me up

James Potter: we have a quiz in five mins

Lily Evans: its important

James Potter: ill b right there

*

Sirius Black to twats + grammer twat: LAMES HAPPEND

Sirius Black changed group chat name to LAMES: THIRE SNOGGING IN TH PARKIING LOT

Remus Lupin: IM COMING Marlene McKinnon: freaking adorable

James Potter: twat

Lily Evans: shut up black

[gerdavonrinnlingen]

" person A soothing them by stroking their hair and forehead till they fall asleep in their arms" bc that is my JAM

Darth Naqâz wasusually an eloquent man. During his tenure as the Emperor’s Wrath his sharptongue had been as infamous as his deadly lightsaber. But his wit failed completelyhim when Lana Beniko introduced two would-be assassins who had snuck in intothe Alliance base on Iokath. He just glanced at the blonde woman but when heset his eyes on the dark-haired man who was brought before him by Alliancesoldiers his eyes widened and he gasped: It was none other than Malavai Quinn,his former second-in-command.

“Quinn? I-Is thatyou?” stammered Naqâz. He didn’t miss the inquisitive look Lana shot him.

Quinn looked himcalmly in the eye. “In the flesh, my lord.”

Hearing his smoothvoice again gave Naqâz goose bumps. He gestured the Alliance soldiers torelease him.

The blonde womancleared her throat. “I hate to interrupt this reunion, but I have atime-sensitive request. I’m not an assassin, I’m Captain Elara Dorne of theRepublic. Supreme Commander Malcom wants a word with you. In private.”

“Empress Acinarequests the same, but unlike Malcom, she’s open to a group conference,” Quinn quicklysaid.

Naqâz was stillstaring at Quinn, but then he took a sharp breath and focussed on the task athand: “I have so many admirers, and so little time – patch them both through.”

 While Malcom and Acinamade their case Naqâz caught himself, how his eyes wandered back to Quinn. Histemples had greyed a bit he looked as smart as ever. A warm feeling spread outin his chest. Where in the galaxy has he been?

His train of thoughtwas derailed when Lana asked him a question:

“Commander, do youwant to side with the Republic or the Empire?”

He crossed his arms.“The Empire took a considerable risk when they supported us against the EternalEmpire – I’m willing to overlook this transgression and remain true to ourally.”

“I knew it,” spatMalcom, “once an Imp always an Imp!”

“Retreat now and spareyourself the humiliating defeat,” replied Naqâz. “I don’t want to go to warwith the Republic, I’m merely honouring our alliance with the Empire.”

Theron steppedforward. “Listen to the Commander, you can’t win against the Alliance and theEmpire.”

“I can’t believe thatmy own son would choose this tyrant over me? Over the Republic?”

Theron averted hisgaze and said quietly: “Yes, I have.”

Malcom scoffed andended the call.

“Release Captain Dorneonce you’ve confirmed that the Republic has retreated,” commanded Naqâz.

The soldiers salutedand escorted her away.

 The next couple ofhours were busy as the Imperial and the Alliance forces secured thesurroundings of their bases against Iokath droids. Naqâz had to negotiate withEmpress Acina to split up the looted technology.

“I’m certain that oursubordinates can hammer out the details of our hmm… Iokath-Agreement. I’m awarethat Major Quinn has served under you before – therefore I assume that youdon’t object that he will be the Imperial liaison to the Alliance?”

“Of course not,” Naqâzreplied a little too fast.

For a moment hethought that he saw a sneer on Acinas face just before she ended the holo call.

Naqâz leaned againstthe comm station and exhaled. Why was Quinn here? Where had he been? After allthese years and all the time he had been the face of the Alliance and only nowhe showed up?

An iron grip took holdof his chest, could he trust Quinn? Was he still the same man from five yearsago? Or had he changed his loyalties again? The doubts pained him – every timehe had met one of his friends, Vette, Pierce and Broonmark he realised what hehad lost during his imprisonment. Naqâz longed to confide in Quinn like he usedto, but at the same time he had seen too much to blindly trust anyone.

“My lord?”

Naqâz turned on hisheel and saw that Quinn had quietly approached him. He couldn’t help himself,he smiled at the man who eased into parade rest after standing attention.

“It’s been a longtime, Quinn.”

“Six years, eightmonths, twelve days, my lord.”

“You kept count?”Naqâz softly asked.

Quinn blushed alittle. “I’ve missed your company a great deal, my lord.”

Theron entered theconference room just when Naqâz wanted to ask him about the past years. Quinnlooked a little distressed when he realised that they weren’t alone anymore.

“Commander, I’veprepped your personal shuttle for your return to Odessen. Admiral Ago expectsyou tomorrow for a meeting with Zakuulan emissary-” Theron looked from Quinn toNaqâz and stopped mid-sentence. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?”

“No,” said Naqâz andQuinn in unison.

“Major Quinn willaccompany me – we need to discuss future cooperations between the Alliance andthe Empire.”

Theron smiled a littleand nodded. “Aaalright. Commander, Major – if you will excuse me.”

Naqâz watched Theronleave, he glanced at Quinn, but the other man averted his gaze.

 They didn’t talk untilthey had left orbit and Naqâz had activated the auto-pilot. He looked out ofthe cockpit window until they had jumped into the hyper lane. Quinn sat on theco-pilot seat and was very busy reading something on his data pad. Anuncomfortable silence stretched out until Naqâz got up and loudly said: “Icould use a drink.”

He went back into thesmall galley and poured himself and after short hesitation also Quinn a glasswith Zakuulan vodka. He returned to the cockpit and handed Quinn the glass.

“Thank you, my lord,”said Quinn, he seemed pale.

Naqâz sat on thearmrest of the pilot’s chair and raised his glass. “To our reunion.”

He took a gulp of hisdrink and watched how Quinn hesitantly followed his example.

“Where have you been,Malavai?”

Quinn took another sipof his vodka and quickly glanced at Naqâz before averting his gaze once more.

“I attempted to do myduty, my lord. I’m afraid that I failed.”

Naqâz saw that Quinn’shand trembled a little. He got up and returned to the galley. He took thebottle of Zakuulan Vodka with him and filled Quinn’s glass up.

“I can’t imagine thatyou would ever fail to do your duty.”

Quinn looked at himwith a pained expression on his face. “But I did.” Suddenly he got up andbanged his full glass on the console of the cockpit. “I’m afraid I’m rathertired, my lord. May I retire to my quarters?”

Surprised by thissudden development Naqâz frowned and sighed. “Alright, your cabin is the one onthe left.”

Quinn bowed anddisappeared into the cabin. Naqâz watched the stars fly by and checked theplotted course before he poured himself another drink. Quinn had always been acomplicated man, but his behaviour was confusing. Well, he wouldn’t stop untilhe got a straight answer.

He yawned and stoodup. Naqâz stashed the vodka in the galley and entered his cabin, as soon as hehad stepped into the room he started to curse under his breath: He had completelyforgotten that he had ordered to fill up one of the cabins with crates fromIokath so that Dr. Oggurobb could start his research on the new weaponry. Hecould barely move in the cabin – it would take hours to remove all cargo.

By the Force! Well,then he would simply share a bed with Quinn. It was large enough and he hadslept next to his crew on countless missions. He undressed and put on his PJs.Then he brushed his teeth and stepped out of the cabin.

When he knocked onQuinn’s door he heard sheets rustle and moments later Quinn opened the door.His eyes widened a little when he saw Naqâz in his PJs.

“I forgot that mycabin is loaded with technology form Iokath. I suggest that we share a bed –moving all these crates out would take too long.”

Quinn’s eartips turnedpink, but he nodded. “Of course, my lord.” He moved out of the way and Naqâzstepped into the room.

Moments later theywere both lying in the bed staring at the ceiling. Naqâz could literally senseQuinn’ tension and finally he sighed.

“Do we want to talkabout it?”

Quinn shifted uncomfortably.“We have to, don’t we?”

“Well, you know me – Iwon’t rest until I’ve gotten to the bottom of this.”

“I know, it’s just- I-I’m worried.”

Naqâz turned to faceQuinn; the other man was still staring at the ceiling. “Why?”

“After youdisappeared, I spent months on the hunt. Minister Lorman even heard about mycrusade and ordered me to call off the search. He wanted the Emperor’s Wrath to‘stay missing’. Naturally, I refused… and found myself in Imperial prison.”

Naqâz gasped – Imperialprison! Even the most decent one’s were infernal – penal colonies in remoteareas. The death toll was staggering.

Quinn blinked a fewtimes before he haltingly continued. “I was locked away for years—they demandedthat I would admit that you have been killed. I- I wanted to stay true to youbut I … I couldn’t take it anymore.” Now his eyes were positively wet withtears. “I renounced you, I swore to stop looking for you. I said to everyonewho asked that you were dead. Shortly after that I was promoted and started towork for Acina.”

Naqâz propped up onhis right elbow and put his left hand on Quinn’s shoulder. Seeing this usually stoicman fighting with his emotions gave him a stab in the heart.

“Malavai…”

“I really tried tofind you, I missed- I swore loyalty to you and I broke my oath.” A single tearran down from the corner of his eye. “I actually tried to approach you once.When you visited Acina on Dromund Kaas. But I lost my nerve… I worried you’dnever forgive me. For Darth Baras, for abandoning you and returning to theEmpire.”

Naqâz slid closer toQuinn and embraced him. Quinn sniffled and returned the hug, burying his faceinto Naqâz broad chest.

“I missed you too,Malavai. And I forgave you a long time ago for Baras.”

“I’m sorry,” said Quinnwith a throaty voice.

“You don’t haveanything to apologize for,” replied Naqâz. He softly stroked Quinn’s hair. “Youdidn’t break your oath, you came back to me.”

He felt how Quinncalmed down and relaxed a little. Soon Malavai’s breath became deeper andcalmer. Naqâz continued stroking his hair and fastened his grip around his warmbody. By the stars, he had missed him so much! He inhaled Quinn’s familiar scent– it made him feel secure, it was as if he had returned home after a longjourney. All his worries and his doubts disappeared as he slowly fell asleepnext to Quinn.