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#and also how you realize love does hurt even when you make each other feel invincible as kids
tgmsunmontue · 1 day
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Saga of Solitude 13/21
Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).
PROLOGUE (He remembers)
HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS
ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006) EIGHT (2007) NINE (2008) TEN (2009) ELEVEN (2010) TWELVE (2011)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN – 2012
                They’ve decided to forgo their rings outside of the house. They live in a little pottery dish that Petra made beside a larger one that Tamsin had made several years early, likely in the same class. It’s a new habit, keys go in the large bowl and the ring goes on his finger when he gets home and he remembers Mav sliding it onto his finger during their wedding ceremony every time. And when he leaves the house it works in reverse, he takes the ring off and picks up his keys.
                They’d had a quiet courtroom ceremony, just the seven of them. When he’d checked his paperwork to see what needed updating he hadn’t needed to update next of kin, Maverick has been listed there for years alongside Sarah, and nothing there is going to change. He does fill in the forms for change of marital status, and he holds onto them for weeks afterwards, hands shaking at the thought of handing them in and everyone knowing. It takes him a couple more days but then he’s standing in the doorway of his office looking at Aubrey fastidiously working on something, muttering under her breath and she’s been with him for five years now, nearly six, and he knows he can trust her.
                “Aubrey… I need to ask you opinion on something.”
                “Sir?”
                “I have filled these in and should submit them to the administration office. However…” he swallows roughly and hands the forms over to her silently. She accepts them, eyes flicking over them quickly.
                “Well sir, I’m a little hurt I wasn’t invited –”
                “Ah –”
                “I’m joking sir. Now. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, however I came from the administration office and still have the same level of access. I can update the information and file these and no-one else will see it. Unless they go looking of course.”
                “Oh. You can do that?”
                “Of course sir. Leave them with me. And congratulations.”
                “Thank you Aubrey. For everything.”
…            …            …
                He doesn’t know what he expected to change with Ice and Mav getting married. They aren’t suddenly more affectionate with each other, Mav doesn’t move absolutely everything in, although there isn’t much left at his house anyway. He does note the appearance of the rings though, thinks it’s softly sweet that they wear them but the thought then turns sad when he realizes that they still feel like they cannot let the wider world know. That despite everything they’re still keeping it a secret. A part of him understands, to have something so big have to be a very well-guarded secret for over two decades.
                The extremes they both went to, to ensure that they weren’t found out. Marriages to women who fortunately knew and supported them and loved them and knowing that now, what his own parents must have known and done make him feel a little better about his own sexuality and journey. Knowing that they would have loved and supported him regardless. That Tamsin and Petra are here in the world because they added a legitimacy to Ice’s marriage, even though he knows both Ice and Sarah wanted kids and figured out the best way that could work for them. He looks at them all, Sarah and Melissa, Ica and Mav, their relationships with each other well over two decades and he doesn’t know the nitty-gritty of how they got together. Definitely isn’t going to ask, Mav tends toward over sharing and there are things he doesn’t need demystified.
                That said he does wonder how he’s going to maybe manage a relationship. If he even wants one. He didn’t before. Had very firmly put it away as something he couldn’t have, not alongside having the career he has wanted for as long as he can remember. But now… fucking Seresin putting the idea in his head has got him thinking and maybe it’s something he could try. If he could find a guy to try it with. He doesn’t want it to be someone who is also in the service, that seems like a recipe for trouble. There are dating apps and clubs but he already uses those to hook up, case in point, Jake Seresin.
                He does have people he can ask though; Chris and Pat. Nat’s cousin and his husband. They’re his age, well, a little older but not as old as Mav and Ice. More importantly they’re not in the military and probably know guys who are looking for… not just sex. Dating. He remembers them sending guys over and everything he learnt and now fondly remembers. Despite Christopher being Nat’s cousin he does count them as friends and so he finds himself reaching out, asking if he could maybe come and visit.
                Of course there’s an open invitation and he finds himself there mid-week, not really wanting to give up his weekend time with Tamsin and Petra, even as they have busier social lives he still tries to shoehorn as much time with them as they’ll let him. He knocks on the door to Christopher and Patrick’s apartment, a different one from over eight years ago, but he has been here before a couple of years ago when he visited with Natasha.
                “Bradley! Look at you. While I might not be a fan of the military I cannot argue with the output …”
                Bradley grins, well used to Christopher’s flirty banter now after years of it, accepts the hug and kiss to the cheek and toes off his shoes and places them on the rack.
                “Hey Christopher, nice to see you too. Thanks again for letting me come and stay.”
                “You’re always welcome, you know that. Come on in, make yourself at home. You know where everything is right?”
                “Yeah, assuming you haven’t done any major home renovations.”
                “No, we have not. You want a drink?”
                “Yeah, coffee would be good, but only if you’re making one yourself.”
                “I’m making myself a cocktail. Want one of those instead?”
                “Sure. Why not?” Bradley decides, because this conversation will probably go easier with a slightly looser tongue. He drops his bag in the guest room and heads back to the kitchen to find Christopher making coffee but also pouring vodka into a cocktail shaker along with a healthy amount of ice cubes.
                “Alcohol and caffeine. So we can make bad decisions wide awake!”
                “Well, I was actually after some life advice but sure, let’s start with bad decisions.”
                “Life advice? From moi?”
                “Yeah, you and Patrick. You two have your shit together.”
                Christopher’s gaze goes sharp.
                “Oh honey, I thought you were here for a booty call…”
                “And you still let me invite myself?” Bradley asks, half-joking but also a little horrified that Christopher would think him that rude. Although coming to visit just so he can ask advice probably isn’t the best look either.
                “I’m sorry, have you seen yourself. I’m married, not dead. And I didn’t mean a booty call with me and Patrick…”
                Bradley startles a little, feels the heat in his cheeks, hot and immediate because he let himself be startled; caught off guard. Because he had imagined that when he was younger, the idea of somehow being with both of them. However he’d never pursued it or shown any interest, because he’s good at hiding all that, he hasn’t managed a decade in the Navy under DADT by having his every want and desire clearly on display in his face and body. It’s not really happened before. He might need to unlearn some things.
                “I was joking but… interesting.”
                He tries to ignore his embarrassment as Christopher makes the cocktails, his gaze flicking back to Bradley every so often. Then he’s sliding over a glass filled with a dark concoction that does indeed smell very strongly of both coffee and alcohol. He takes a sip and coughs.
                “Shit that’s strong…”
                “Hmm. Bottoms up!” Christopher says, eyes wicked and Bradley coughs again, shooting Christopher a look because yes, he did get the fucking innuendo.
                “Babe! I’m home!”
                “In the kitchen!”
                He watches as Patrick gives Christopher a kiss hello and he’s struck with a sudden memory of his parents, bright laughter and easy affection. Huh.
                “Hey Bradley, nice to see you again…” Patrick says, reaching out to shake his hand and Bradley accepts the handshake, ignores Christopher’s eyeroll.
                “Hey Patrick, nice to see you too.”
…            …            …
                He’s not sure quite how it happens, other than apparently couples seem to be able to hold entire conversations silently with their eyes. He lies there, feeling wrung out but a growing sense of unease growing in his gut that he’s just slept with a married couple. His first threesome and god, Natasha can never know.
                “Well I sure as hell won’t be telling her,” Christopher says, and Bradley realizes he must have said something out loud.
                “You’re over thinking this. You’re not going to ruin our marriage by being in our bed.”
                “We’ve done this before,” Christopher adds and Patrick groans and Bradley bites his lip in amusement, because they’re still them, even here. Even if he’s becoming increasingly aware of his nakedness and feeling less comfortable himself. He hasn’t unpacked, maybe he should just get up and leave. He shifts but Patrick is there, hand pressing him back down.
                “Uh uh uh… you aren’t running away. No sneaking out. There isn’t anything to be ashamed of. You came here to talk, and now we’ll talk. And we’ll all put some clothes on. Go have a shower in the guest bathroom and we can sit on the sofa and hear your troubles…”
                Bradley wonders if making a quip about not minding either of them without their clothes on would be in appropriate or not and decides to keep his mouth shut. Clothes will help.
…            …            …
                “So… help us understand what you want.”
                “I don’t know what I want, that’s a whole part of the problem.”
                “Well, what do you not want?” Patrick asks and Bradley scrubs at his face.
                “I’m kind of over meaningless hookups.”
                “Oops?” Christopher offers and he and Patrick both snort.
                “So you want a relationship,” Patrick states and Bradley pulls a face.
                “I guess?”
                “Wow, ringing endorsement for relationships everywhere.”
                “Christopher stop being so bitchy, it isn’t helping.”
                “I… under don’t ask don’t tell I knew I couldn’t pursue a relationship. Not and have a career in the Navy.”
                “So you’ve never…”
                “I’ve never even gone on a date,” Bradley offers. “I don’t know if I’d be any good in a relationship. It seems like hard work.”
                “And you’re definitely a stranger to hard work, what with going through the academy and then flight school being so easy and all.”
                “Still bitchy, but he has a point. If you care about it, you put in the work.”
                Bradley groan, because the advice is reminiscent of what Ice had said,
                “Another silver lining from having sex with you, gives us a better idea of what you might like. Make sure you’d at least be sexually compatible.”
                Bradley shrugs, because he’s never put that much thought into it, other than always wanting to ensure the other person wanted to be there and enjoyed themselves.
                “You ever thought about entering the scene?”
                “The scene?”
                “Oh honey…”
                That devolves into a whole other conversation and Bradley feels overwhelmed with information, glad that Patrick stops Christopher from going and getting their toys. Instead Patrick says he’ll send him some websites to read through, once he’s had time to process and consider it. He can’t imagine doing anything like that with someone he doesn’t already know really well, but there is also a definite interest in exploring and learning about it all.
                He ends up talking about Jake, although he doesn’t mention his name. Just that the three nights and two days with Jake are pretty much the closest thing he’s ever had to dates, if they can even be called dates when it was simply filling time between rounds of sex. Annoyingly both Patrick and Christopher seem skeptical, like he should maybe consider pursuing something there and he shakes his head, insists he doesn’t want someone also in the service. Doesn’t mention how badly he feels that he’s likely burnt any and every bridge back to Jake. He’s not an option.
                “You want training wheels.”
                “What?”
                “Like a trial run. A relationship with training wheels. Someone to practice with that lets you try it out but not something too serious. A guy that’s low maintenance.”
                “That rules out over half your single friends,” Patrick says dryly. “They’re single for good reasons…” he says to Bradley, making his eyes wide to drive the point home and Bradley’s glad that he’s there. He’s calmer and more sensible than Christopher. Between them though he’s hoping they might have someone.
                “What about Mike?”
                “Bradley sees enough warzones, let’s save him from that one…”
                “Fine. Andrew?”
                “Andy or Drew?”
                “Andy. Drew is back together with his ex. Again.”
                “Ugh. Andy would be okay I guess. Maybe too much drama though? Drew would have been better.”
                Bradley feels like he very much does not need to be here for the conversation they’re having. They go through several more names, one or both of them shaking their heads and he’s glad they’re being so picky and discerning on his behalf, but he is becoming more and more terrified of ever entering the dating scene on his own. It sounds like a minefield.
                “What about Callum?”
                “Oh. Hmm. Not a bad idea. And he’s actually local to you, having just moved there… he’d probably appreciate the introduction as well. He’s… yeah. Actually that might be the best one.”
                “He’s a bit of a workaholic, which is why he’s single. But…”
                “I’m not around for months at a time…”
                “Yeah. Worth a shot right? At least a date or two?”
                “Yeah, got nothing to lose right?”
                “Just your first date virginity!”
                “Yeah, okay, thanks for that Christopher…”
…            …            …
                Neither he nor Ice are prepared for the arrival of the boyfriends.
                Plural.
                He doesn’t know if Tamsin and Bradley colluded to deal out the trauma simultaneously but it throws him and Ice both into an emotional tailspin. He knows Bradley is twenty-nine, likely has plenty of sexual experience given his little fieldtrips to New York and San Fransisco that he probably thinks he and Ice are blissfully ignorant of. Hell. He was young once. Tamsin though? She’s only fifteen no matter how much she argues that she’s turning sixteen soon.
                Tamsin’s boyfriend is a sixteen-year-old kid that neither he nor Ice like, although Bradley tells them they’re being too harsh. Pete knows what he was like as a teenager, and what Bradley was like, and quite frankly he’s glad that both his daughters know how to defend themselves, even if Petra tends to the slightly more violent side of things.
                Pete isn’t quite sure what to make of Bradley’s boyfriend. He’s nice enough, clearly cares for him, but also doesn’t seem to have the deep-rooted desire or passion that he’d hoped Bradley would find. It’s fine, it’s Bradley’s first boyfriend and Callum is smart and attentive but also doesn’t seem to get Bradley. Their interactions are friendly and easy, but that’s it he realizes. They act more like friends than anything else, careful distance always maintained and he wonders if Bradley is simply not into public displays of affection.
                Then he watches more, sees how Bradley hugs both him and Ice, how he’s hugging Tamsin and Petra, pressing kisses to the tops of their heads when he can get away with it. He reminds Pete so much of Goose in those moments and he wonders what is stopping him showing the same with Callum. Callum who Bradley won’t even invite to the house for family dinner. They go out to restaurants, although he does know that Callum stays over at Bradley’s place, and he won’t be making that mistake again in a hurry. Or ever again if he can help it.
                Fortunately, Petra seems to think that boys are disgusting, Pete hopes that she never changes her mind.
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doctorweebmd · 4 months
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so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like
'aha i do that'
except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault
i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.
i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.
i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.
and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.
and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'
i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.
#i've been meaning to write this out for a while.... hmmm#personal#it really bothers me that i'm like this#and i've tried to change and fix it but again inevitably i go back to how i've always been and it only hurts people more#i'm an outsider because i choose to make myself that way#obviously also i'm very very forgetful (...which now i know is probably an adhd thing)#so like people say its not because i dont remember WHEN your birthday is#i just didn't realize thats the day it was.#it makes me seem really callous and uncaring#which is kinda a bummer#but. i am what i am. its been like this for 15+ years and i dont think its going to change#its just... i used to be really normal about stuff like that. loved talking with my friends on the phone every night#and hanging out and inviting people to things. it was effortless. something changed for me in high school and like... i never got that back#and i'm fine with being a casual acquaintance with people forever#i just dont want to let anyone down or make them feel unloved#sometimes i think thats why i love writing and ao3 so much#you're communicating parts of yourselves and your thoughts and feelings#and you form a connection with others without the standard regular convos#just reading each other's works and supporting each other and enjoying little snippets of their lives#but also.... i AM too freaky for the normies#and too normie for the freaks#i'm kind of a nothing person tbh#there will never be a 'community' for me because i'm not capable of being part of a 'community'#thats my fault. and its ok.#i do feel a little jealous. my partner has his friend groups and just randomly calls people or texts people and like... just does that#i dont get it. i dont know how to do that. even when i try i fail miserably.#what low social intelligence does to a mf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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tarrynightss · 8 months
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what happens when sukuna’s precious little jewel actually does get pregnant ???
I’m so glad you asked Anon hehe
Concubine!reader x Sukuna thoughts part 1 here
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Tags; Pregnancy, Concubine!fem!Reader, smut below cut, breeding kink, size difference, bit of lactation kink
Sukuna is not surprised when it happens after all the hard work you both put into realizing his dream. He notices a subtle change in your smell, in the energy that pulsates around you when he caresses his hand over your body. A wide grin splits on his face as he lays his hand over your lower stomach, his chest sturdy against your back. He can’t help but nuzzle his face against the side of your head, inhaling more of your intoxicating smell. “It took.”. Those simple words have your eyes widening and your heart pounding in your chest, looking back at him to ensure you understood correctly. “You’re with child.”
He’s overjoyed with the prospect of having a baby, an heir of his own. He’s more affectionate than he ever was, taking time to settle you close against him, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the growing bump on your stomach. He even caresses your hair and kisses you in an attempt to comfort you when you feel pain, all of it shockingly gentle for Sukuna. In his mind there’s a simple explanation. You did as he wanted, and you continue to do your duty well, ensuring his child is safe and growing strong inside you even when it hurts you, so you should be rewarded for it.
Sukuna has always been wary of others, but with the pregnancy he turns outright paranoid. With the amount of enemies he has he worries that one might now lash out and target you and your baby. He focuses more on maintaining barriers around the house, has someone sample your food in front of him before it’s allowed to be served to you, and you never sleep alone anymore, him always curled protectively against your side. He also decides to dismiss a large portion of his harem, not trusting them to have your best interest in mind. He knows how jealous humans can get, had seen women scratch each others eyes out just to get ahead of the other, and so the only other concubines allowed to stay are the ones you claim are your friends. He still keeps a careful eye on them, only truly allowing it because he knows that when the time comes, you will need women to aid you through it, and he doesn’t trust random midwives more than he trusts them.
Sukuna will spoil you more than ever, making sure you are comfortable in whatever way he can offer. The pregnancy is clearly taking a toll on you, your stomach having grown large and heavy, and he almost worries the size difference between you that excited him so might become the death of you. He carries you basically everywhere the last two months, wrapping you up in his strong arms and doing anything you need of him. It’s quite ironic; you used to be the one helping him get dressed, fawning over your master, and now he does the opposite for you. Though you know it’s out of necessity, it still makes your heart flutter.
That Sukuna is stressed out when you finally give birth is putting it lightly. He waits outside as customary, trying to appear stoic but panicking on the inside at your pained screams. As soon as he hears a baby cry, he barges in, watching as another concubine places the child against your bare chest. He quickly finds himself on his knees beside you, brushing one large hand over your sweaty forehead to comfort you as the other joins you in holding your baby. It’s a daughter, but she’s healthy and strong, screaming her lungs out for a minute more before calming down. You laugh, and he breathes in deeply, knowing you both made it. Relieve makes him bend forward and press a kiss to your forehead, leaning back just in time to see the child’s eyes open. Four in total, just like her father, but with the scarlet stare replaced by the lovely color of your eyes.
It surprises everyone, including you, how much of an involved father he is, holding his baby as often as he can, a large finger prodding at her pouty lips till she smiles and coos. When you apologize to him for not giving him a son, he stares at you blankly, gesturing for you to rise from where you kneel before him, putting one hand on your cheek as two others still cradle your baby. “I don’t need your apology. The child is healthy, and you will give me a son next time.” The surprise is evident on your face as your eyes snap to his. Not only is he being benevolent, but he also just said he wants another child with you. You were afraid he would discard you like a broken toy after this, no longer interesting enough to him, but it seems you still manage to hold your position as his favorite, bringing a smile to your face.
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It has to be said that Sukuna can’t take his eyes off of you from the moment that tiny bump appears on your stomach. There’s something about it, about you, that makes every fiber of his being crave touching you. Maybe it’s that famous pregnancy glow, or maybe it’s the fact that he knows he’s the one who fucked a baby into you. You’re his, more clearly now than ever, and it excites him beyond his own comprehension.
Luckily for Sukuna, the hormones coursing through your body have you seeking him out desperately throughout most of your pregnancy. The first few months he fucks you like he wants to ruin you, rutting into you like an addict, but as soon as you really start showing he becomes more gentle. He wouldn’t risk seriously hurting you or his child, often seating you in his lap as he thrusts into you, his mouth lapping at your sweet neck. You still mewl so sweetly for him, so eagerly, and he already knows he might want to do this all over again after you’ve given him his first child.
Sukuna takes such good care of his little jewel, even massaging your poor sore breasts, teasing your aching nipples with his tongue. The changes to your body have him drooling all over you, his hands constantly on your growing breasts or belly. It becomes a guilty pleasure of his to touch you there, enjoying just having you on his lap as he rolls your nipples between his fingers, loving the way you squirm against him.
You find some of the changes quite embarrassing, especially when your breasts start leaking milk as you enter your third trimester. He only grins wolfishly when he notices the wet patches on the fabric covering your breasts, tutting as he pulls you to his chambers. “You need to relieve the pressure, little one.” And of course your benevolent master knows just how to do it, massaging your breasts till more drops come out, making sure he’s right there to help you through it all. This definitely gets far worse after you’ve given birth and your milk fully comes in, aching painfully to be released, Sukuna hot on your heels after ensuring your baby is fed to ‘help’ you.
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dunmesh · 4 months
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okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.
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and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.
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i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?
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and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.
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and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.
so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?
but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.
it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.
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sukunasteeth · 6 months
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Marks
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Sukuna doesn't understand the hold you have on him.
He's never particularly been a people person. In fact, people annoyed him. This has held true ever since he was a child with his twin brother, Yuji. That is, until Yuji brought you home one fateful day in middle school, claiming to have met a new friend. 
You, with your sweet little smile, and your boundlessly generous heart. You with your giggle that chimes through his darkened soul like a golden bell. With the innocent rosy lips that he'd dreamed of having his first kiss with until high school, when it finally came to fruition. You had been irrevocably his ever since then, and it had been almost seven years.
So why does it still feel like you're the one with all the power here?
Why does it feel like you could create a monster out of him if you truly wanted to? Why does it feel like he's constantly at your beck and call? Why are you the one person on this green earth that reduces him to the feeling of an emotion as pathetic as helplessness?
"'Kuna...hurts..."
He'll admit, he takes it out on you.
Like now, when you're lying naked beneath him (his favorite spot to have you in) and begging him to take it easy on you. He's got you covered in sweat, exerting you to your ultimate limit. He loved to see you train until failure, after all. Adored the way your legs quivered when he relentlessly made you keep riding him, despite your exhaustion. Cooed at the way you begged him to be gentle, even though he knows you prefer it rough. You were quick to submit when he had you behind closed doors, despite how independent you appeared outside of them. Sukuna knew you better. Knew how much you loved following his direction. Receiving his praise.
You were lucky you were such a good girl.
Sukuna was torturing you now already, and you hadn't even disobeyed him. He can't imagine what he would do if you were unruly. Actually, he can. And the thought has him salivating even more as he sucks relentlessly at the nape of your neck. You're covered in marks from his teeth or the raw scrape of his tongue. Your throat has been tormented by his worship to the extent that he's even broken skin in the spots where he can feel your pulse beneath his lips.
Even Sukuna has to admit that you didn't deserve this abuse. You hadn't done a thing out of line, besides selfishly tearing the heart out of his chest for good. It was yours now.
The thought makes him growl against you.
God, you weren't even trying.
Your victory over him was so effortless.
It pissed him off.
He doesn't realize that he's bitten you particularly hard until you're suddenly recoiling away, burrowing yourself into his pillows with a small yelp. Your hand has sprung up to press your palm over Sukuna's mouth in some weak attempt at getting him to stop. Your other hand holds your throat as you purse your lips at him, which have also seen a good amount of Sukuna's biting that day.
You looked good in his teeth marks, what can he say?
"Are you mad or something?" You're blinking up at him like a confused little deer. Sukuna can't help that it makes him hungry. You were a perfect prey to him and he would be chasing you to the end of this lifetime. He could tell solely in the way that your stupid little nickname for him makes his heartstrings snap.
He takes a frustrated breath through his nose over your hand, nipping at your fingers over his mouth like a muzzled dog. Before you can pull them away, he's grasping your wrist tightly, his unforgiving grip a warning in itself. Easily, he pins it to the side of your head, rendering you halfway useless.
"Don't interrupt." He murmurs, his gaze burning into yours.
A helpless sob escapes you, but otherwise you stop trying to squirm away from him. You allow the onslaught to continue without a peep, bracing yourself each and every time a new hickey is being bruised into your skin. He doesn't offer you any words in terms of praise, but his grip on your wrist eventually loosens a bit. He never fully lets you go, though.
While he appreciates your cooperation, you eventually go almost too quiet and Sukuna thinks for a moment that maybe he's pushed you too far. He pulls away from your neck to look at you, finding your pink little face screwed up in an intense mixture of pleasure and agony. He feels a content smile spread across his face but it's cut short when his eyes hone in on your lips, which you're currently biting hard enough to draw blood from.
His free hand reaches up and grasps your chin, pressing his thumb below your bottom lip and forcing you to relinquish it. You blink slowly, your logical brain having exhausted itself up until this point. You easily let him pry your teeth apart, panting in his grasp. 
"Mouth. Open." He commands.
You squirm in your overwhelming frustration, whining. "It hurts, 'Kuna!"
Sukuna hums in a mock sympathy, watching you suffer with a satisfied grin. You would have these marks for weeks. There were so many now, some more intense than others, and he wasn't even close to being done with you.
"You're being cruel." You accuse, watching your own hardship twinkle back at you in the reflection of his eyes. Your pout is purple and bruised from your attempts to keep quiet. Sukuna leans in closer and presses the sweetest kiss to your lips, as soft as the brush of a feather.
What was cruel was the fact that you had broken down everything Sukuna had ever known about himself. His strength was putty at your feet. His hatred for the world was a joke in your presence. His pride, a mere memory at the touch of your fingertips against his soul.
"You think this is cruel?" He whispers, mocking you. His voice is the taunt of a devilish trickster. "I think I've been going too easy on you. Allow me to rectify that."
There really is no curse more cruel than love.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.
i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.
what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.
so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.
and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.
and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.
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wanatasha · 22 days
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will you marry me?
natasha x fem!reader
you begin to believe Natasha wants to break up when she spends more time away from you—in reality she was working double to buy you a ring
tw: not proofread and written at 12AM, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, reader overthinks, love confessions, probably shitty tbh
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Your bed as of late has been growing colder. It’s a shared bed, one large enough for two bodies. Well, it was a shared bed. The past month and a half you’ve been occupying the space on your own. Your girlfriend shows up, but it’s always when you’re already asleep. And when she wakes up? Too early.
She also has a habit of not responding to texts or calls at an orderly time. She’s been struggling with telling you about these sudden shifts as well.
Long story short you don’t see her as often anymore, if at all. She’s at her work more than she’s at home, it’s become her life. At first, you were ecstatic, but now? you just wanted to be awake when she comes home to at least greet her, ask her how her day is going, look into her eyes—
You didn’t think anything of her sudden and consistent disappearance act. Each time she told you she was leaving for work, you believed it. Now with where you stand at 6:46pm—cleaning the dishes with music playing in the background—this was the moment you realized.
Your thoughts started out as any other, chipper and useless almost before they spiraled and you began to think about her. You thought about your love for her, how you hope she’s been okay. You thought about why she’s been gone for so long. You thought about how day by day by day she’s slowly been less and less affection with you. She sleeps beside you still, but she’s here when you’re asleep and she leaves before you even stir. She barely responds to texts.
With your heart dropping, you wipe your hands off quickly so you can grab your phone. The messages shared between you are dull, but she’s been answering that she’s safe? Isn’t that enough? Why does it feel like you’re loving this relationship—one sided….
Then it hit you, she’s falling out of love with you.
You cried at the sink for a few minutes before you decided it be best to go to sleep earlier that night. A few dishes were left in the sink when Natasha came home, body sore and throat scratchy she stumbled in. She didn’t even notice as her only focus was getting to the bed, the one you shared, and passing out.
Again she woke up for work, and you woke up to a warm spot beside you again. You cried too. Tears fell like rain when you stepped in the bathroom to get ready for your own job. Throughout the day they would fall at random whenever you remembered her. By the end of the day you were mentally exhausted and you had a killer headache—and that was enough for you. Though despite every bone and muscle in your body begged you to keep the peace, you wanted to confront her. You needed to ask about what changed and how the two of you can fix it—no matter if that means breaking up.
So you got ready to stay up for possibly the worst night of your life. Eleven PM came and left as the numbers 3AM overtook the clock. You sat on the bed, each tick ringing in your mind. It was the sound you focused on until you heard the front door open.
3:41AM and she’s now coming home.
She’s used to her routine by now. Getting home and stumbling straight to bed, but she gets a shock when she comes to your bedroom door and finds you staring her down with tired eyes.
“Why’re you awake?”
You shrug, feeling an overcome of emotions then. Seeing her makes you feel choked up, sadness once again building so strongly within you. To think you’re about to loose her pushes your body into overdrive.
You’ll miss the warmth on the bed beside you, her kisses, the way she was always looking out for you, her smiles, her contact showing up on your phone, her laugh, her presence behind you when you woke up—You almost reconsider asking about what you are, but you full send it instead. It’s better this than to continue living with a ghost in your home.
“Why haven’t you been here,” you start, voice unfortunately very shaky, “It’s been like two months, Natasha and I’ve barely seen your face or heard from you.”
She looks shocked. Slight changes in her also tired expression that let you know of her response. She’s shocked.
“Two months?”
You nod, looking down and picking at your fingers, “can barely say I remember your face anymore.”
“I’ve been wor—“
“Are you trying to break up with me?”
“Okay, woah—what?”
“We’re closing in on month two. If you want to leave do it now, you’ve given me enough time.”
She stands up taller, confusion and offense written all over her face, “I don’t want to break up with you, I’m so confused—“
Your hands come down beside you, “you’re confused,” you laugh, “wow, that’s something. You don’t think that not being home for a month and a half is suspicious? That barely spending any time with me is not suspicious? That not texting or calling me or even caring to talk with me—is not the least bit suspicious?”
You wipe the tears with your right hand, trying to steel your eyes into hers, “Natasha I stay here for countless nights hoping you’d come home early and yet I’m faced with this same dent in the bed instead. I keep hoping things will change. I sit here and watch tv and end up falling asleep. When I wake up, the spot has moved. I try to read, and I get too tired, so I go to sleep and I find you came back that night again too. Why do you—“
Natasha had crossed the room in a few quick steps, hands reaching to bring your face towards hers. She cuts you off with a kiss, and since you’re such a fool for her, you lean into it immediately. Her lips come back, reconnecting and angling her face to kiss deeper. You run a hand through her hair, resting it on the back of her neck and holding her close.
“I love you,” she says as quiet as a whisper against your lips, “I’m so sorry how I’ve been as of late, I genuinely hadn’t realized I’ve been so stuck in a routine. I was so focused on my goal I neglected you.”
“What was your goal?”
She smiles, “to save up for a ring.”
Your eyes flicker around her face as your thumb rubs the skin of her cheek. Her words settle within you and you’re smiling so wide.
“You want to marry me?”
“Yeah,” she smiles wider and leans down to kiss you again, “will you marry me?”
“Yes!”
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hollyskywalker · 10 months
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Worst nightmare
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She had him wrapped around her little finger.  
Coriolanus knew she did. He's no longer the same teenage boy trying to wrap his head around what this achy feeling in his chest is. He no longer convinces himself it's hunger, or that he's just confused. He knows the feeling is longing, desire, lust, or maybe even love.  
After everything that happened in District 12 with Sejanus, with Lucy and the people he left behind he had hoped he'd never have to go through this again. A foolish hope, he realizes now. He's a human being and it's almost unavoidable there are people out there who would know just the right thing to say or just the right thing to do for him to lose his ambition focused mind in the fog that is love, or obsession in his case. He's not sure there's really a difference between the two.  
But he thought he knew better than to let someone in again. He hadn't liked how Lucy made him feel vulnerable, and how it had hurt when he realized she'd left him in the woods.  
Yet here he was, pressing this infuriating woman against the wall with her legs wrapped around his hips, their lips barely parting to breathe before pulling the other back in. 
She was perfect.  
Absolutely perfect.  
She was also his close friend's wife. 
He always thought of himself as a gentleman. Sure, he did questionable things and studied under the most questionable woman of Panem during his time at university, but at least he was polite about it. Or at least, he acted in the way one would expect a gentleman to act. 
Kissing your old classmate and close friend's wife is not very gentleman-like. He knows this but when she tangles her hand in his hair the way she does, he can't find it in himself to care.  
“Festus will come find me” she murmured into the kiss. He ignored her and started to kiss his way down her neck. He's not going to acknowledge another man's name coming from her mouth when his mouth is the one making her keen so sweetly. 
She repeated her words and when ignored her once again she gently nudged him back a bit so she could look into his eyes “Coriolanus, you know he can’t catch us. Everything will be ruined” 
He thought he might start laughing. He honestly pities the tree somewhere out there whose single purpose is to replace the oxygen her husband wastes. “Festus Creed does not have the capability of ruining anything for me” 
She hummed and brushed his hair off his face. “Your mood before we came here seemed pretty ruined to me” 
His grip on her waist tightened at the memory of Festus drunkenly clinging to her, embarrassing her, during the entirety of the evening before Coriolanus had cleverly thought of an excuse to whisk her away. 
“Very daring, to take me away from my husband in front of all those people” she whispers, her hands coming up to rest gently on his shoulders.  “Not at all like you to take that kind of risks” 
He didn't bother responding to that and simply rested his head in the crook of her neck, pulling her body as close as possible to his. She rolled her head to the side, giving him better access as her eyelids fell shut. His nose grazes up and down the length of her neck, breathing her in. 
It had been a long day. His path to becoming Panem's president was set and he was prepared to wait for the perfect moment now that he has the right people on his side. He was not an impatient man, but so close to his goal it was hard not to long for time to speed up just a little bit. 
That's why he'd already been annoyed when he arrived at this fundraiser which must be the 10th this month, and then he had to watch Festus wrap his arms around her. It was just too much.  
When they are together, it's like all the noise is cancelled out and he can finally feel at peace. His mind finally rests and he enjoys when they focus solely on each other and nothing else.  
“Marry me” she murmurs in a voice like honey.  
He's taken aback, pulling away from her to look at her wide-eyed. He hardly noticed anything around him; he felt disorientated, dizzy. His mind worked feverishly. Did she really just ask that? Did he imagine things?  
It takes a moment for him to gather himself enough to answer her. “What?” 
She tilts her head to the side with a grin, linking their hands. “Marry me. You want to become president and you have all it takes to become one except for a wife. People will expect you to have one by the time the campaigning truly starts, and you know no one works a crowd better than me. I have them hanging onto my every word within seconds,” she pulled him down slightly so she could comfortably wrap her arms around his neck “With my family name, and influence, and your talent as a natural leader, combine the two of us and Panem would be yours by the end of the year” 
He stared at the wall on the other side of the room.  
Laying her fingers on his left cheek, she turned his face to look at her. “Just imagine how powerful we could be together as a couple” 
He was imagining it. But... 
“They'd never allow you to divorce Festus” he said with certainty. This he knew for sure. The family name and influence she spoke of would not be as impactful if everyone knew she divorced someone from the Creed family. They'd call her crazy, and steer clear of her.  
“We could not marry unless Festus were dead” 
Her eyes darted between his, her hand cupping his face. She truly was ethereal.  
“I know”  
Her response is entirely too calm and he frowned at her.  
During events he would often watch her socialize and play the crowd just like she said, until they were hanging onto every word that fell past her pretty lips. She always seemed so genuine when she talked to people, but he had caught the glint of ambition in her eyes, just like him.  
She was an impeccable liar without a tell. She could lie to whoever she wanted to. Despite that she tended to be a very honest woman. He knew he would be able to count on her if she was on his side. Her, with her always impeccable appearance and her fashionably styled hair wearing nothing but lavish clothing standing out blindingly, concealing her still very much venomous nature.  Perfect. Absolutely perfect she was.  
Festus was undeserving of a woman like her. He'd always thought it but now he was sure of it. 
He could already picture it. Him, waving down at the crowd with her by his side, the envy of Panem. There would always be people against him and his tendency of making unethical choices. But how could they doubt his leadership if a woman as good as her was married to him? They'd believe she'd keep him on the right path. 
She was working her way to the top, and she was succeeding. So it would only make sense for her to ask him. Festus had his sights set on presidency too, but if she believed Coriolanus had a better chance... Coriolanus tried not to let it get to his head.
Was she insinuating he kill Festus for her? So they could marry and she could become Panem's First Lady? Did she know he'd killed before? If she did, she obviously wasn't bothered by it or scared of him because of it.  
But then there was Festus. Coriolanus didn't particularly like the guy, in fact, seeing Festus trip was the highlight of his day not even a week ago, but could he kill the Creed heir? He had killed before but in this situation it's less trivial. It's not about survival, nor about making it to the top. He was sure he could make it without her...but still... did he want to, without her? Is she not worth it? Is having her by his side worth killing Festus Creed for? 
She's not worth it, he thought and tasted the lie as soon as it crossed his mind. 
He met her eyes and thought of her smile – the smile he can't ever seem to get out of his head – and- 
He was going to kill Festus Creed.  
Memories of Sejanus flashed across his mind. Sejanus had been in the way of him ever returning to the Capitol. So he took choices that haunted him, but he didn't regret. Just like he wouldn't regretting ridding her of her infuriatingly incapable husband.  
Truthfully, Coriolanus was surprised Festus was able to stand with a spine that weak. Always following what others told him to do, never thinking for himself, so easy to manipulate. Yet he saw himself suitable for presidency?
His hands have settled on her waist seemingly out of pure instinct. His throat felt dry, and he swallowed several times before he tried to speak. 
“Yes” he nodded, decision made “Alright” 
Something bright flared in her eyes as she looked at him. After a pause, she practically launched herself at him, knocking into him so hard that he had to take a step back. He laughed quickly. One of his hands is still on her waist, but the other cups the back of her neck as his thumb strokes over her throat.   
She tilted her head up and pecked his lips. Something horrible tugged at his chest, and he knew. There's no one more dangerous in the world than her. Because he's obsessed and in love as she gazed up at him through her lashes. 
The blood was thundering through his brain. Happiness filled his chest; a dizzying sensation and his head swam with emotion. His arm slid around her waist, his hand coming to rest on her hip. 
“Mrs Snow” he whispered like a promise, smoothing his thumb over her cheek.  
"What is it?" she chuckled "Why are you looking at me like that?"  
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, roughly but passionately. 
"You are my worst nightmare and the woman of my dreams all at once" 
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animeshotsh · 3 months
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Afraid | Alastor x Sinner!Reader | HCS
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Summary: After the war Alastor panics when he realizes how much you mean to him
Warnings: You can take how Alastor feels towards reader as platonic or romantic - Canon violence - Reader knows Rosie - Reader its also an old friend of Alastor - Grammar mistakes
Alastor who has never felt something so deep and important towards anyone in decades.
Alastor who sees others as his playthings, things he can use to pass time, to entretain himself when being bored. These who he can manipulate as much as he wants and torture for his delight.
Alastor who only when he met Rosie felt something as friendship and was sure she would be the only one, the one who breaks his walls.
But then Rosie introduces you to him. And Alastor cant help himself, he is just pulled to you like some type of old magic. And the feeling is mutual. You two just check each other and complete each other. The Radio Demon and You.
Alastor who lets himself enjoy your company, who plays jazz and dances with you. Who sends shadows to protect you just in case.
Its you who he goes first after all the years of his "vacation", getting punched then hugged by you as you cry over him because he just left and you were a mess without him.
Alastor who feels guilty over it and wants to tell you whats going on but does not want to be seen as weak, specially not by you.
Alastor who tells you about the Princess idea and you both laught because, sinners redemtion? You should use that for a good joke next time.
Alastor who makes you move with him to the hotel, not because he misses you, no absolutly not. He thinks adding you to the mix will make things funnier.
Alastor who has tried to move away his feelings for you and think of you as his favoirte chess piece, the one he can move as he pleases and never gets a "no" from you.
Alastor the one who wants you out of the hotel when heavens declares war towards it. Saddly he misscalculated, you have grow love towards the hotel residents and decided to stay. Even more when Rosie's people showed up.
Alastor who gets angry at you and himself, he is sick worried but hides it behind his anger. You two fight the night before.
"Im not going to go and save you if an angel goes to you"
Lies. Alastor leaves one shadow to be your backeyes during the fight.
When he is almost killed by Adam he cant help but take a quick glance at you. He is afraid, not for his life but he is afraid he is going to lose you. He wont be able to look out for for you.
Alastor who goes berserk in his radio towes when thinking on the chances of you getting hurt. Blames himself because he should have been stronger and not let himself be arrogant.
Alastor who is afraid you are going to look at him with pity when he is back, instead you hug him like there is no tomorrow.
Alastor who is afraid but finally accepts that he truly cares for you, you are more than a plaything, more than something he can use.
He is not sure what you are, just that you are important to him. And wont let anyone hurt you.
Not even himself when planning his next move.
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elllisaaa · 10 months
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no nut november - bangchan (4th to lose)
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-> pairing : chan x fem!reader
-> words count : 3,1k
-> genre : smut, friends/sex friends to lovers
-> warnings : switch!chan, begging, teasing, dirty talk, praising, unprotected sex, hair pulling, handbjod, manhandling, creampie, use of 'slut', a tiny little bit of angst because chan is overthinking + the way i'm depicting bangchan does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction
-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.
-> masterlist | skz masterlist | no nut november
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November 18th, 10 pm, and all Chan was thinking about was you. Nonetheless, he should focus on what was going on behind his eyes, on his screen. But his mind was clearly not at it since this morning. He tried to work on his new song, on the lyrics, on the beat, on everything he could but nothing seemed to help. 
Chan leaned into his desk chair, sighing and closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his thoughts from running. Without needing to concentrate this time, you immediately appeared to him. At first, it was just your beautiful smile when you were talking about the things you loved, or the way you had to sit on chairs, crossing your legs and making you look so tiny Chan wanted to protect you from the world. But then, it was like someone corrupted him. He could easily picture your blissed out face when you came around his fingers or cock, even more easily picturing your hands stroking his dick. 
Chan sighed again, but that didn’t help him with his little problem. What would’ve helped him was if you were there with him. He saw his phone from the corner of his eyes, peacefully resting on his desk, and he hesitated for several minutes. What should he do ? Call you and lose ? Or just resist ? 
Your relationship was pretty unusual, to say the least. Since the first time you saw each other, you clicked immediately. You were caring and calm, but once you started talking about something you loved, you were the most passionate person he knew. He loved it because you were always able to relax him just with your presence and voice, but he also loved the fact that you could be as energetic as him at other times. 
But besides that, you were also someone who knew what she wanted. And you made it clear to him really quickly that he was what you wanted. And who was Chan to refuse such a proposal ? Obviously, he didn’t. But the more time passed, the more his feelings grew. And worst of all, he couldn’t stop it. Because you also made it clear that you didn’t want something serious, just being friends with benefits was fine, right ? 
It was until Chan messed it all up with his feelings. But before his brain could even register it, he had grabbed his phone and called you already. Must do that quickly so he would not have the time to regret what he had done. 
“- Long time no see Channie !”
The said Channie closed his eyes, feeling his heart skipping a beat hearing your voice. He stayed away from you since the start of this stupid bet, he didn’t realize until now how much he missed you, all of you. 
“- Yeah… Sorry, I know I’ve been distant but…
- Don’t worry ! Binnie told me about it, I have no problem with that. And it’s kinda flattering.
- Flattering ?
- Yeah… It’s like you admitting you can’t control yourself when you see me, isn’t that right ?”
He gulped at your words. You were sadly not that far from truth, except the fact that it wasn’t only your body, but your all self that was tempting him, from the way you were clenching around him when you were about to come to your beautiful smile. Everything about you was a temptation to him, but he couldn’t admit it to you, nor was he able to stop all of that before hurting both of you.
“- You saw right through me again…
- I know you very well, I must admit. 
- So you surely know why I call you ?
- Of course. I’m on my way.”
He could hear your smirk as you talked, and before he even had the chance to answer, you hung up. But you weren’t the type to lie, Chan knew you were gonna knock on his door in a matter of minutes, and he didn’t want to figure out why he felt a heavy weight on his heart.
________________
“- Missed this…”
Your lips trailed along his neck, licking and sucking on it, and Chan tilted his head to the side to grant you more access to his skin. His hands were gripping your thighs firmly, preventing you from moving away from him. Once you put one foot in his room, you didn’t let him think twice before pushing him back into his chair, straddling him and kissing him like you hadn’t tasted him in years. 
“- Missed you Chan…”
His heart melted hearing your sweet voice saying you missed him. And God knows how much he missed you. So much. But he had to be realistic : you didn’t really miss him, you just missed his lips on yours, his hands on you, his dick in you. The facts were there, though. But Chan just decided to push it back and simply enjoy your lips on his and feeling your skin under his fingertips. 
“- I missed you too…”
Your little smile made you look so hot, so hot he wanted to pin you down on his bed and ruin you. But he was weak, you made him weak. So weak you just needed to move slightly against him to get him to moan. And your smile widened at the sound, loving to actually hear the effect you had on him. You closed your eyes, starting to grind on him at the same time. Chan’s hands flew to your hips, pushing you down against his hard cock. You whined quietly, gripping on his shoulders for support. 
“- What do you want me to do baby ? Just tell me.”
Your eyes were only focused on him, nothing else, and Chan felt overwhelmed. He wanted you to kiss him, to lick his body, to let him fuck you. He wanted you to do what you wanted, all of it, just because what he really wanted was to please you. 
“- Whatever you want. I just need you.
- That’s why I’m here. My hands ?”
Chan nobbed and you pecked his lips one more time before backing off a little, allowing you more space to touch him. He saw you licking your lips while pulling off his shorts and boxer just enough to free his hard cock, and it was hot as hell. He should have been ashamed by the fact he was already leaking precum, but your hungry look threw away his last piece of dignity, leaving him entirely at your mercy.
“- You weren’t joking when you said you missed me, hm ?”
Once again, Chan should've felt ashamed, but you both knew you were right. The feeling of his own hands on him wasn’t quite the half of what he was feeling when it was your hands. Your lustful gaze was focused only on his throbbing dick, your teeth biting into the flesh of your plush bottom lip as you watched him chasing your touch. That was making it very difficult for him not to blow right away.
“- Feels good Channie ?
- Yeah… Keep going, please.”
You chuckled lightly at his pleading. He should have known how crazy he was driving you just by existing, not to mention the effect he had on you every time he turned into a stuttering mess under your hands, and it was even worse every time he decided to take control - and you let him do that happily every time. He should have known that he didn’t need to beg for it, that you were eager to please him whenever he liked. 
You pushed your thumb against his flushed cockhead, making him gasp and whine under your touch, before spreading his precum along his now fully hard dick. Your wrist was moving way faster now, your fingers tightening around him. Chan closed his eyes shut, feeling his orgasm approaching too fast. He wanted to enjoy your touch some more, wanted you to look at him the way you did right now all the time - as if he was the only thing in your world. But he needed his sweet relief, he needed to finally let go of the tension and frustration of these past days. 
“- Just a little more… Please…”
You almost moaned, only hearing his low voice begging you was enough for you to surrender and give him what he wanted. You quickened your pace one more time, leaning down to kiss him. And that was all he needed to completely let go, moaning in your mouth as he came hard, his vision becoming blurry and his head starting to spin.
Chan stayed still for a moment, trying to come down off his high. And when he finally opened his eyes again, it was to see you licking your fingers clean. That made something switch in him. You’d notice by the way his eyes darkened, the way his jaw clenched hard, the way his fingers dug into the skin of your hips. 
Without saying a word, he stood up, placing his hands under your thighs to prevent you from falling. You were about to put your hands around his neck but he threw you on his bed, a whine leaving your throat when your back hitted the mattress. That. That was what you loved so much about Chan - he could be putty in your hands and the next second manhandling you like you weighed nothing. 
You admired him as he tossed his clothes away, letting your eyes wander on his tough shoulders, his toned abs, his muscular thighs. You found yourself speechless every time you saw him naked. How could he not see how handsome he was ? You pressed your thighs together trying to suppress your growing desire as he hovered over you on the bed. In no time, he settled between your legs that you spread for him as soon as you felt his knee pushing against them, earning a growl of approval from him. 
“- Take off your clothes.”
You didn’t think twice before doing it. You didn’t think at all in fact. His hungry gaze was burning you, so much you thought you’d explode if he didn’t touch you. Thankfully, he unfastened your belt, sliding your jeans and underwear down your thighs as you threw away your shirt and bra, ending up naked underneath his starved look. He immediately brought his hand to your core, pushing his thumb against your clit, making you whimper. 
“- So wet already… Want me that much baby ?
- Yeah… Please Chan…”
He took your chin between two of his fingers, forcing you to look at him while he sucked off his thumb covered in your slit. And that was enough to make you whine, not only because he was so hot you wanted to bounce on his dick for hours, but also because you knew how much he loved every noise coming out of your mouth.
“- You’re really not going to stop teasing, hum ?”
Your smirk was telling it all, and Chan had enough of you and your filthy mouth. He just wanted to hear you cry and scream only his name, wanted to feel like he was the one made for you. 
“- On all fours baby, and hang on tight.”
You gulped and just obeyed, as if your ability to speak had been removed from you. You settled yourself, and as soon as you stopped moving, he thrusted into you so roughly you would’ve crashed into the headboard if you weren’t gripping on it tightly. The sound you were letting out were animalistic, but you weren’t able to care anymore, not when Chan was pounding into you so hard you think you’ll split in two. But the worst was that you liked it so much, feeling like he could make you come with each thrust of his dick in you, even if he didn’t take the time to stretch you out, it was even more delicious.
“- C-Chan…”
You were interrupted by a loud moan when the man behind you buried himself even deeper inside of you, hitting all the right places at once. You tried to talk again, tell him that you needed more, but your words were coming out as an incoherent mumbling. 
“- So dumb everytime I put my dick in you, aren’t you ? Just need me to fill up your tight cunt…”
You nobbed eagerly, unable to do something else than crying out his name. And that was driving him crazy, his chest filling up with pride knowing he was the only one to please you like that, to fuck you like that. One of his hands slid from your hips, all along your spine, spreading shivers on your skin, only to end up in your hair, grabbing a fistfull of them and forcing you to arch your back even more, allowing him to sink even deeper into you. You were probably drooling, but you didn’t gave a fuck, simply moaning when Chan pulled your hair.
“- Look at you baby… Can’t even talk anymore…”
He tugged your hair harder, the nails of his other hand digging in the skin of your hips from how roughly he was guiding you on his cock. 
“- Maybe I should shut you up like this more often, what do you think ?”
You wanted to say something, wanting to let him know he could use you whenever he wanted to and that you would absolutely adore it.
“- Would you like me to fuck you every time you talk back ?”
And like every other time, he knew what you wanted, saying all the things you needed to hear, doing all the things you needed him to do. 
“- Please… P-Please Chan… I-I need to-”
Another thrust shut you down, reducing you to a mumbling mess. You felt tears pool under your eyelids as the pleasure hit you harder and harder with each thrust, tightening the coil in your stomach. 
“- Use your words, slut.”
The nickname paired to the moan he left out when he felt you clench around his shaft made you feel dizzy, made you feel like you were on the edge of your orgasm.
“- N-Need to cum… S-Shit !”
Chan let go of your hair, your head falling back into the pillow, guiding his fingers directly on your clit, circling it harshly and sending you over the edge in less than a minute. Your moans were so loud you almost felt sorry for his neighbors. Almost because you couldn’t bring yourself to care when you were feeling so much pleasure you could’ve faint. 
Your arms were numb, and your legs were shaking so much you would’ve passed out from the intensity of your orgasm if Chan wasn’t holding you. But his sloppy trusts were keeping you awake, aware of every move he was making, of every noise coming out of his mouth. 
“- Fuck ! You’re so tight… Can I cum inside ?”
You couldn't help your smile, loving the fact that he kept asking you the same question, even though you both knew your answer would always be the same. 
“- Yes, please…”
Chan moaned, and you could easily picture him throwing his head back, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he came, face contorted by the pleasure he was feeling as his orgasm washed over him. You felt his hot cum being spilled out of your pussy as Chan slowed the pace of his thrusts until he stopped totally. You needed a long time to find your breath again, feeling the desire to sleep creeping on you quickly. 
You didn’t react when Chan pulled out of you and helped you get on your back to clean you up. You hummed happily, feeling his touch as light as a feather on your thighs and whole body. You only came back to reality when he stroked your cheek, finding him smiling at you brightly. 
“- Can I stay tonight ?”
You didn’t think about it, it just came out naturally, like it was where you should have been for a long time. It was strange to realize how much you wanted to sleep in his arms just now. But what felt even more right was his honest answer when he immediately said yes. You settled yourself comfortably in his arms, enjoying being engulfed by his warmth and scent. 
“- Thank you for coming…”
You chuckled lightly against his chest, remaining playing with the hair at the back of his head.
“- You don’t need to thank me for that Channie, I’ll always be there for you no matter what happens.”
Chan stayed silent for a long time. He felt like it was the right time, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that maybe he will scare you and ruin his chances to be with you one way or another. Maybe you will run away. Maybe you will tell him you just wanted him as a friend, just wanted him for sex. But he knew he could not keep up with this situation much longer. 
“- I really did miss you… And not just only for… That… Think I might be starting to really like you.”
You said it almost in one breath, not wanting to lose your courage at the last second. You were aware that chances of him liking you back were very low, and you were aware it was you who had established the rules between you. But you also knew that you liked him much more than a friend or a fuck buddy. You liked all his little habits, even the ones he said were the most annoyings, you liked being the only one staying so late in his studio and getting to cuddle him even if he was busy as hell. You liked his smile, his tendency to always care for you, his ability of remembering all of these little details you even forgot telling him about. 
“- Might take you on a date then… I want to do things right this time.”
You finally lifted your head up, meeting his nervous but shining eyes. You could feel his heart beating way faster under the palm that was still placed on his chest. 
“- You did everything you could right. It’s me. I set up boundaries just to cross them out a few months later… And I was stupid to do that just because I was afraid of my feelings. I would love to go out with you.”
Chan kissed your forehead, and you sighed in relief. You didn’t realize until now how much you were craving this tenderness from him, and you couldn’t wait to finally be his official girlfriend to benefit from it every day, and so did Chan. You were all he could have ever dreamt of, and now you were in his arms. And he knew, for the first time of his life, that everything would be alright : with you by his side, he could only be alright.
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-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my works.
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acidinduceddaydreams · 3 months
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First Real Love with Skz
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Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them
Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.
Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.
a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼
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Chan:
He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.
Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.
He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.
Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.
Minho:
Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.
Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.
The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”
Changbin:
Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.
Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.
Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.
Hyunjin:
He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!
He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.
Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.
Jisung:
He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.
Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.
He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.
Felix:
Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.
So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”
You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.
Seungmin:
He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.
On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.
Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.
Jeongin:
This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.
He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.
He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.
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anantaru · 8 months
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cw. [ex]plicit, forbidden romance, passionate haithie, fem! reader
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the lingering thought of living through a forbidden romance with alhaitham.
“we shouldn't be doing this but it feels so good,” while you exchange deep breaths, eyes misted with a delirious glow.
right now, nothing seemed important enough for you to muffle your cries and heaves, as it was the only way to vocalize your feeling.
but a piercing reservation for this relationship was always there.
the irremediable sorrow of what would happen if you do get caught, if someone sees you steal a couple more kisses, brush your hands together lightly when you walk past each other. it's present, that haunted look on your face, and it was impossible to cure it as it overcame you with a shaded gloom, casted above you as it applied layer after layer of unsettling emotions.
yet your heart twists when you feel him kiss you again, again— and again, as if alhaitham silently sensed how you were giving yourself to the negatives parts of your secret relationship that actually contributed to many positive instances in your life.
"i hate it, so much," that hurt, you realized, to say it out loud and feel it hang above your head, "i hate it so much, it pains me!" to voice your emotions to him too— as if it didn't kill him as well.
but you close your eyes now, your lashes shining with a threat of tears, attempting to ignore the wounds inside of you and go back to focus on what was right now, towering before you. it being alhaitham, the man you loved, so fucking much, pleasing you to his heart’s content.
the scribe traces your muscles with his fingertips before pulling himself in you again, his lips parted and glistening on top of yours. everything considered, there was a strange, almost insatiable sort of pleasure bundling inwardly, he simply never looked at you like this before.
"oh? you're still concerned someone might hear us?"
"no, I'm not," you avert your gaze in denial, but the bitterness on your facial features told the entire story to his sharp pair of eyes. you suddenly close your arms around his neck so you could kiss— and better, shut him up, so that alhaitham would also forget about your panicked outburst and resort back to filling you with pleasure.
"good, me neither, i couldn't give a damn anymore."
"what—" this was probably one of the most miserable dirty talk sessions in history of such— if you can even call that awkward conversation that.
alhaitham silently hooks his fingers under your hips before pulling you off and on him, repeatedly, but this time faster as your lower body automatically arched upwards so he could move you on and off his cock in the most pleasurable, precise way. to have your sweet cunt split by his girth—it's maddening and you feel him throb inside of you as he drags himself against your warm walls, luxuriating in the softness of your pussy.
alhaitham slumps into your body, "i-don't-care-anymore-" and at each full throated groan, he spills a new word to complete his sentence.
now, everything had gotten more hot— scorchingly hot but cold too, precisely all at once and at the same time, your creamy walls being rubbed with passionate rolls of his cock as his pelvis hits yours.
everything between your thighs retorted to feeling swollen and well used, your hips sore enough to give up but you did not want to, not now, not ever, not when there was nothing that made you feel as good and free as this.
yes, alhaitham made you feel free, like you could achieve anything in life and have him by your side at the same time.
in the course of this, you close your eyes before begging him to kiss you again, uncontrollably make out with you until your lips would strain and hurt. and alhaitham notices, pushes deeper in, so deep that his shaft had been entirely webbed in your liquids and made them ooze out whenever he pulled his cock out.
he does it with such ease, like he's meant to do this, "i don't care whether people will spread rumors," and presses his lips on top of yours, muffling.
"because there's only one person i care about."
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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sweetkpopmusings · 2 months
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mingyu best friend headcanons <3
a/n: posting his bestie headcanons next as requested !! mingyu is my babygirl and whenever i think about him i just want to gently hold him and give him a lil kiss on the forehead <3 he is absolutely the best of friends to the people he loves :,-) what a precious boy ! pics not mine~
content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!mingyu x gn!reader | requests: open
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mingyu’s the kind of friend you can’t remember your life without
not only because he has become so embedded into your support system, but also because you immediately went from not knowing each other to being the best of friends
your first impression was “how does this man look like a greek god” and, after having a brief conversation with him, you realized “this is my golden retriever and i will protect him at all costs”
mingyu is the silliest, most precious, dorkiest, loving guy
obviously you can’t be around him without him breaking something and/or endangering his life
so you watch out for when he drops things, runs into things, trips over himself, etc
for his birthday, you bought him a first aid kit that you decorated so it matched his style
it’s 100% his favorite thing in the world, so naturally, he has to have someone else carry it for him whenever he leaves his place so it doesn’t get lost <3333 
he refuses to use supplies from any other first aid kit because “it would be disrespectful to y/n” :,-)
somehow, when it comes to you being clumsy, he's got cat-like reflexes ???
if you stumble a little bit, his hand automatically balances you before you realize you could've fallen
whenever your phone slips out of your hand, he catches it and then laughs at you for having butterfingers 
if seventeen sees this happen they will be completely dumbfounded because how is MINGYU not the klutz in this situation
you assure them he is still the clumsiest person alive and recount, in detail, how he bumped his head on a wall while laughing, dropped his phone while holding his head, and spilled his drink while reaching for his phone...all within 45 seconds
cut to the members crying from laughter and mingyu whining because “y/n is exaggerating!!!!!!!” 
like this is just a classic situation of mingyu trying to roast you but ending up roasting himself lmao
laughing with mingyu is the best thing in the entire world !!!
sometimes you two just make eye contact and he starts giggling which makes you laugh which makes him laugh harder which turns into both of you silently cracking up with tears streaming down your faces
and the rest of the people hanging out with you are like ???? neither of you said a single word ??? nothing funny happened ??? are you two okay ???
the answer to that is no we’re clearly losing our minds but also yeah we’re totally fine LOL
he loves to annoy you
very big fan of the whole “i’m not touching you” bit while pointing his finger alarmingly close to you
if you try to ignore him, he’s going to do everything in his power to get you to notice him
he’s sighing, clearing his throat, calling your name, exclaiming “OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!” just to get you to turn your head
every time, it ends one of two ways
you turn your head and he smiles victoriously, no longer annoying you because he got your attention and can now talk your ear off about whatever silly thought was in his head
OR
you ignore him for so long his finger/arm starts cramping and he whines about being in pain and won’t stop whining until you acknowledge his pain 
even if you just say “gyu, put your arm down so the cramping stops”
he’s over! the! moon! because “awwwwwww so you DO care about me???” 
mingyu’s such a big baby but he's YOUR big baby i love him so much 
despite his puppy-like nature, he is also your #1 protector
if anyone hurts your feelings, he is on attack dog mode as soon as all of your tears have been wiped <33
he will NOT let ANYONE make fun of you. like you’re HIS bestie and only HE can do that >:-(
one time hoshi took an impression of you a little too far and BOY did mingyu give him an earful
poor hoshi was apologizing to you for WEEKS after
mingyu would’ve had hoshi doing your laundry for months as reparations but you promised him it actually wasn’t even that bad like you just didn’t like how hoshi imitated your voice but according to mingyu “it’s the principle of it all >:-(“
he will do anything and everything in his power to reduce your stress and take care of you when you’re feeling less than your best <333
low on energy? mingyu’s coming over to clean your place for you!
have a massive to-do list before you go on a trip? mingyu has divided the tasks between you two so you can finish everything in enough time to get some rest before you leave!
truly he’ll put everything aside to make sure you’re okay :-(((
overall, mingyu is the most dependable, heartfelt, and hilarious best friend to have :,,,,-) 
if you tell him this, it will feed his ego and he will bring it up constantly LOL 
don’t worry though–he tells you all the time how you are a rock for him and that he loves you so so much and that his life has become a million, billion, trillion times better since you entered it <3
he’s just so endearing please give me a mingyu to protect and be protected by PLEASE!!!
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roosterforme · 7 months
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The Younger Kind Part 54 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley prepares to leave for Japan, but not before he does everything he can to help you get ready for his departure. During the appointment where you both get to meet baby number two, he realizes just how overwhelmed you've been feeling, but it's too late to turn back now.
Warnings: Swearing, smut, anal sex, angst, fluff, pregnancy topics, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4100 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
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Bradley had you bent over the side of the bed with your legs spread wide and your pussy full of his cock. His big hands were covering your smaller ones as you grasped at the bedding, and your crown was lopsided on your head. He was rough, but he'd never hurt you. And he was needy, but he'd never ask for what you didn't want to share with him. When you whispered his name as he thrusted, he kissed your pretty cheek.
"Tell me what you want, Princess. Tell me what I'm allowed to have."
The harsh edges of your diamond ring were pressing into his palm as you whispered, "I wore my plug for a reason, Daddy."
His hips stuttered in their perfect rhythm as he tried to comprehend the flawless woman beneath him. "I'll be sweet and gentle," he promised, knowing he was going to have to switch gears even as he slammed himself deep into your pussy again. 
"I know you will."
Your words reminded him of everything he promised you earlier, and he wanted to be able to guarantee that he'd always leave you satisfied. So he withdrew himself and knelt behind you, tasting your pussy and also kissing along the base of your plug until you were practically sobbing. But he needed this time with his face buried in your sweetness to calm down enough to take what you were offering. 
He licked you from your clit through your dripping slit and didn't stop until his tongue wound a path around the silicone. And then he did it again. After a third time, his heartbeat was closer to normal as he whispered, "You make me absolutely fucking wild for you."
"Daddy," you whined as he stood once more. He let his cock rest against your ass as he reached for the bottle of lube, and he had to bite back his moan of delight as he removed your purple plug and replaced it with himself. 
He had no idea how long he would be gone. The training and testing he'd signed on for would apparently last as long as his commanding officers wanted it to. They would keep him going until they had the data they wanted. He wasn't sure how many weeks of his life at home he would miss out on. Appointments and Noah's artwork and you growing the baby. He'd miss these things, but he trusted you with all of it. And he wanted to remind you how in love he was with all of it before he left. 
You gasped and squeezed around him as he helped you plant your knees on the bed, and then he helped you ease your body up until your back was resting against his chest. "Just let me make you feel good," he crooned, kissing the side of your neck as ran his hands along your hips. "Just let me love you."
Slowly, you rocked with him as his fingers met your clit. He worked you up with each little swirl of his fingertips along your most sensitive part. "Look at me," he whispered, and you turned your head to the left where his lips met yours. "I love you."
You could only whimper softly as he stroked you along, pushing you closer and closer. He made sure you came with one of his hands clapped over your mouth and his other fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. And only then did he let himself succumb to your tight body and the feeling of being held inside you so intimately. 
"Daddy," you whined, holding his hand as he carefully eased himself free. And then you got on all fours and let him watch the mess he made of your tightest hole. 
"That's fucking gorgeous," he whispered as his cum dripped out of you and down along your pussy before he scooped you up in his arms. "Let's go get cleaned up, Princess. We have some things to talk about."
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It wasn't even that late yet, but you were completely sated and curled up with your head on Bradley's chest. You were exhausted pretty much all the time now, but you chalked that up to being a pregnancy symptom. Right now you were also full of delicious feelings that had you wanting to stay up as late as you could and listen to Bradley's voice saying the sweetest things. 
"I love you, and I'd be okay with picking a wedding date right now if I knew when I'd be back from Japan."
You looked up at him. "You want to get married as soon as you're home again?"
He licked his lips and kind of laughed. "Ideally. What were you thinking, Princess?"
"We don't even know when the baby is due. We won't know that until Monday."
He kissed your forehead and muttered, "Based on when you stopped taking birth control? Probably looking at a birthday in April, just like Noah."
"Oh," you whispered with a smile. "They could have shared birthday parties in the future."
Bradley squeezed your hand and sighed. "Everything you say keeps sounding better and better."
You laughed softly and told him, "I was actually thinking about Valentine's Day? For the wedding?"
When he didn't respond right away, you thought you had said something wrong. You looked up again, and he returned your gaze with pensive eyes. "If I'm not back well before February, then I made a terrible fucking mistake here. Noah asked me about a Halloween costume, and I'm hoping I'm back in time for that."
You kissed his chest and said, "I have an idea."
"Tell me. Please."
"What if," you started, running your fingers along his abs. "What if we just get married here?"
"Here?"
"Yeah," you replied with a nod. "In the backyard."
He hooked his fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him again. "You don't want something fancier? Something fit for the Princess that you are?"
You smiled and stretched until you were kissing him. "I kind of like to think of this as my castle, so the backyard would be well within my kingdom." Bradley laughed as you kissed him, and then you added, "And that way we wouldn't have to answer to anyone else about a wedding date. We could do what we want, when we want."
He hummed and said, "You are making some compelling points."
You had to bite your lip to stifle your laughter before you said, "I know. You're forgetting that my brain is young and fresh compared to yours."
A split second later, you ended up underneath him as he kissed you without actually putting his weight on top of you. "You might be distressingly young, but you're also a brat," he told you as he laughed some more. "But you're also the only one I trust as much as I trust myself. And you'll be just fine while I'm away. No matter how long that ends up being."
"I know," you whispered. "Noah and I will be okay."
He moved down your body and kissed your belly and said, "Don't forget about this little one," he whispered. "We'll meet you on Monday, and you'll be okay, too."
----------------------
Sunday should have been a fun family day, but Bradley's looming departure on Tuesday morning definitely put a damper on things. When he told Noah he would be gone again for a few weeks just like he was earlier in the summer, he had to watch his son cry. And then you started crying. And then Bradley really regretted his decision even more. 
He knew you could tell later that night that he was still on the verge of tears. You curled up on his lap on the couch and whispered, "You're Noah's Daddy. You could have told him you were going away for a day, and he would have probably cried. Any length of time without you around is going to feel impossible for him."
"But this shit was optional, Princess."
"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity," you whispered, stroking your hand along his abs, inadvertently showing off your ring. 
"It's not just Noah. It's you and the baby, too."
"Don't forget Skittles. She's your best friend." You reached for his hand and kissed his fingers. "You told me you trust me. And I told you we'll be fine."
"I do trust you," he was quick to supply as you yawned. "Let me take you to bed."
He scooped you up and cradled you against his chest. "I'm so tired, I'll probably just sleep the whole time you're gone. As soon as Noah is in bed each night, I'll be snuggled up, too."
You fell asleep almost instantly as he whispered, "This is what I'll really miss."
Bradley was happy the appointment time with your doctor was before Noah needed to be picked up from preschool on Monday, because he could tell you were overwhelmed. He managed to get out of work early enough that he was waiting for you by your car when you walked out of Dr. Kelly's office.
"Bradley," you gasped, running down the walkway toward him where he was leaning against the driver's side door. You threw your arms around his neck and clung to him just like you did in bed this morning, and he truly felt like shit as he kissed you. He had about fourteen more hours until his flight left for Tokyo, and he could physically tell how much you were going to miss him. 
"Hey, Baby," he whispered, letting you smother him in kisses as he held your body to his. "Yeah... we're getting married as soon as I get home."
You laughed, but you whispered, "I don't even want to think about you leaving yet, okay? Let's go get this appointment over with."
"Over with?" he asked. "I don't know about you, but I'm excited."
You pushed him toward the other side of your car before climbing in and starting the engine. "It's not that I'm not excited. I'm just nervous. And I'm wondering how many appointments you'll end up missing. And like holy shit, Daddy, sometimes I forget how young I am since I'm getting married to such an old man, you know?"
Bradley groaned as you reached for his hand at a red light. "You know that's part of the reason why I'm doing this, right? I'll age out of flying within the next ten years, and then it's retirement or taking a position on base somewhere."
"Retirement?" you asked in surprise. 
He shrugged and ran his thumb along your knuckles. "Could be a stay at home dad, maybe," he muttered. 
"You'll be my trophy husband!" you practically shrieked. "Someday I'll be the breadwinner!"
"Alright, keep your eyes on the road," he said, nodding at the stoplight that just turned green. "I guess you like that idea more than I thought you would."
"Hey, if you want to retire in ten years, then this trip to Japan is even more important than I originally thought."
"Yeah," he muttered. "But I would have never considered something like this before I met you."
"Not with Meredith?" you asked as you turned into a different medical complex. 
"No, Princess," he replied. Then he remained quiet until you were both out of the car and on the way inside. He stopped you just outside the door with his hands on your hips, and you looked up at him with a little smirk. "The best thing she ever did was give me Noah. But you've given me a partner and mom for my kids. Let's go meet baby number two."
--------------------------
You were so overwhelmed, you were shaking. Bradley was holding your hand, and you were squeezing him back. You had no idea you'd have to have something inserted inside you for the ultrasound. When you watched Dr. Kelly write ultrasound prescriptions at work, they were always external. And you had no idea what to say when you were questioned about your last period. You'd pretty much stopped keeping track since you started sleeping with Bradley, but you hadn't paid any attention to your cycle at all after he flushed your pills.
When you kind of shrugged and met his soft eyes, he told the doctor, "Uh, well we stopped using protection in July." You were never this careless before you got so comfortable with Bradley, but you also never felt so loved and taken care of before. "It's okay, Princess," he whispered with a little smile as the doctor turned on the video monitor, and then you saw it.
"Is that the baby?" you blurted out, and now Bradley was the one squeezing your hand.
"That's the baby," the doctor replied. "Let's zoom in."
"Baby number two," Bradley told you, leaning closer to kiss your cheek. "And look at that nice, steady heartbeat."
You were mesmerized by the way it looked. All of your nursing textbooks had not prepared you for the visual example of the tiny thing inside you that would grow into a baby. "This is incredible," you whispered. "Is it... healthy?"
"Looks great," the doctor replied. "And I would estimate your due date is right around April twenty-fifth."
"Told you," Bradley said with a smile. "April. Just like Noah."
You tried not to smile too much as you thought about the kids having shared birthday parties in the backyard with all of their friends running around. Bradley kissed your fingers, and you briefly heard him ask for a schedule of your appointments. He knew so much more about this than you did; you should have known he would be absorbed by the details. He'd been through all of it before with Noah. Well as much as Meredith let him. You looked at his handsome face and his broad shoulders in his uniform shirt. It was so easy to picture him carrying two kids around while Skittles jumped at his feet. His interactions with Noah made you so emotional, and now you'd get to experience all of that from day one. From before day one, actually. 
"Do you have any more questions?"
You blinked away your thoughts and watched Bradley collect the long printout of about five of the ultrasound snapshots. Your appointment was done. Everything was finished. "It's over?" you asked in surprise. 
"Yes," replied your doctor. "We'll see you back here in a month."
You stumbled along next to Bradley on your way back to your car as he held your hand. "Do you want me to drive?" he asked softly, leaning down to kiss your cheek. Wordlessly, you handed him your car key and went for the passenger side, taking the ultrasound images with you. As prepared as you thought you were, this made it real. Very real. And you were about to be alone with Noah and your thoughts and this tiny baby that was making you so tired. 
As Bradley headed back to pick up the Bronco, you asked, "Can you get Noah? He's going to want to spend as much time with you as he can, and I just want to go right home and get a shower."
"Of course," he replied. "And I'll pick up pizza and salad on my way home. I don't want either of us to have to be worrying about dinner or cleaning the kitchen. Not tonight."
His words were so considerate, and he always followed through with what he said, but that didn't stop your tears from breaking free once you were home and in the shower. You had too many thoughts swirling in your mind. Bradley was leaving. Noah was going to be solely your responsibility for an undetermined amount of time. You were going to be sleeping alone. Your exhaustion was taking over. Showers like this one would be rare for weeks, maybe even months. You wouldn't be allowed to have a break. 
Work. Noah. Sleep. Baby. Cry. 
You could hear Bradley's voice out in the kitchen, but you didn't want to get out of the shower. Your fingers were so pruney, you were having a hard time holding the soap, but you didn't get out for a while longer. The pizza was cold when you finally emerged in a pair of Bradley's gym shorts and one of his old shirts, and your eyes were red and irritated from crying. 
You kissed the top of Noah's head when he said, "Hi, Mommy." His new artwork that looked a bit like Bradley walking Skittles was already hanging on the refrigerator. 
"Come here," Bradley coaxed, still dressed in his uniform while he sat next to Noah who was eating some of the pizza. But he hadn't touched his own slice yet. 
"You didn't have to wait for me," you whispered as you settled down onto his lap. 
Your stomach growled as he said, "Another minute in that shower, and I was coming to fish you out. You need to eat. Do you want me to heat it up for you?"
"No," you mumbled, picking up his slice and devouring it. He kissed your neck and got your salad ready as you reached for a second piece of pizza. "More dressing, please," you whispered, and he smiled as he dumped it onto the lettuce. You ate until you felt completely stuffed, still trying to process everything, and then you leaned back against Bradley's chest. "I'm sorry," you whispered. "I ate off of your plate and everything."
"I wanted you to," he replied, his chest a deep rumble against your body. He drew lazy circles on your thigh with his thumb as he bit into his own slice of pizza. "I'm gonna miss you."
Then your tears started again, and you knew they weren't going to quit. Bradley did everything that evening. He walked Skittles and gave Noah a bath. He made you a cup of tea and tucked you in bed. He propped one of the ultrasound photos on your nightstand with a little smile, and then he got in bed with you. 
Your plans for the night included at least a round or two of goodbye sex, but all you could do was curl up on him with your face pressed to his shoulder, inhaling his scent. You promised him you could handle things without him, but now it all felt hopeless.
"Did you pack some of your sexy polaroids?" you asked him with a little sniff. 
He kissed your ear and whispered, "I packed two of the polaroids, plus I have all the photos and videos that you helped me save to my phone. And I have about a million cute photos of you and Noah. And now I have ultrasounds, too."
"Okay," you mumbled, fighting to get yourself under control enough to try to turn him on. You let your hand drift down his bare chest to his abs and the top of his sweatpants, but he just took your hand in his and guided it back up to his lips. After he pressed a kiss to the inside of your wrist, you tried again, but you were deterred again. "I'm trying to give you a boner, Daddy."
He laughed softly. "I know. But I'd rather just hold you all night if that's okay with you."
All night was a bit of an overstatement. You and Noah would be dropping him off at the airport at five o'clock for his flight. Really, you only had a few more hours with him at home. "Yeah. That's okay with me."
He kissed your shoulder and spoke softly as you clung to him. "I'll call you every opportunity I have. If you need help with anything, you reach out to Nat or Penny and Mav, okay? And if you need to talk to someone about the baby, you can tell Nat. She doesn't know yet, but I trust her with you."
"Okay," you murmured against his neck. You loved the way he talked about you and the way he touched and kissed you. Nothing compared to it, and nothing ever would. "I'm going to miss you. I feel like I can't stop crying."
He remained quiet for a few minutes, just holding you and letting you listen to the steady beating of his heart. "Princess... I don't even know how to... just, thank you for letting me do this. Thank you for understanding why I even wanted to do this."
"Just come home soon."
--------------------------
Before dawn, Bradley found himself outside the San Diego International Airport on his knees on the sidewalk underneath the fluorescent lights. Noah was yawning continuously, and he was still wearing his dinosaur pajamas. He had his arms around Bradley's neck, half falling back to sleep right there as Bradley had his other arm wrapped around the backs of your thighs and his head resting against your belly. 
"We'll miss you, Daddy." The sound of your broken sob as your fingernails dragged softly through his hair were enough to keep him on his knees a minute longer. He ran his nose and lips along the soft fabric of his tee shirt that you were still wearing, kissing where he knew the baby was. 
"I love you," he murmured. Then he buried his face in Noah's soft curls and said, "I love you, Bub. I'll be home before you know it. Be good for Mommy?"
"I will," he said with a yawn, kissing Bradley's cheek. "Love you."
And then he stood and pressed his lips to the tears running down your cheeks. "How will we know when you get there?" you asked softly. "Will they let you call us right away? Or will we have to wait?"
"I'll call you as soon as I land," he promised. "And I'll keep calling you whenever I have access to my phone."
"Okay," you gasped, your lips colliding with his. "Okay," you whispered against his lips. "I love you."
With an armful of you and an armful of Noah, he kissed you one last time. "I love you more than life itself, Princess. I'll be home soon."
Then he transferred his son to your arms, picked up his bag and headed inside, turning around to wave every few steps. You were crying, and Noah was hugging you now, and more than anything, Bradley wanted to turn around and take everyone home. But he forced himself toward the terminal. 
The flight was long and lonely, and sleep eluded him. Arriving in Tokyo already exhausted was not his best move when he had to meet some admirals and members of the Japanese military, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 
Without checking the math to see what time it was back home, Bradley pulled out his phone and called you as he walked to get his bag. You answered on the third ring, your voice a little muffled as you said, "Bradley."
"Hey, Baby," he replied, a smile finding his lips for the first time in hours. "I'm in Japan. And I'm missing you already."
He could hear your smile as you softly said, "Go be amazing at your job and then fly back home to us."
"That's exactly what I'll do."
Bradley left the airport a few minutes later in a military sanctioned vehicle on his way to the U.S. Naval base in Yokosuka. He was about to find out just how intense this training mission was going to be and how much he was going to miss his family. 
"Lieutenant Bradshaw? My name is Admiral Palmer." Before he had a chance to respond or even address the older man, Bradley had a binder thrust into his hands. "Here is your tentative schedule. I'm sure we will add to it as we go. We'll start each morning at first light. You will need to be here before that. No outside communication on your personal devices. No outside communication that is not supervised. Please be advised that information about your room in the barracks as well as the cafeteria hours are listed in your paperwork. We will see you here tomorrow."
As Bradley begrudgingly handed over his phone, he was already missing his collection of photos. Not even the dirty ones as much as the ones where you and Noah were playing with sidewalk chalk or reading together. All he'd been able to do was shoot you a quick text letting you know he'd communicate again as soon as he could, and then it was gone before he got a response. He just had to trust that you'd take care of yourself and Noah. Just like last time, but now with the baby, too.
--------------------------
We're about to see how well Princess can handle that growing household without him at home. Daddy is going to struggle with the limited contact, I fear. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 55
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ponderingmoonlight · 11 months
Text
How JJK men act in and after a fight
Pairing: Gojo x reader, Megumi x reader, Nanami x reader
Word Count: 4,1k (a big baby)
Warnings: obviously hurt in every part but also a loooot of fluff, Megumi being as inexperienced as he is lol, Nanami's part is pure fan service, you're very welcome
Notes: I consider writing part ll of that with Choso, Geto and maybe Toji. If you're down for that, just leave me a comment or a like <3 as always thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you give me, I truly don't deserve it <3
Part ll with Geto, Choso and Yuji can be found here
Tags: @ifuckfictionalmen @sanicsmut
Gojo Satoru
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“So you think I’m being ridiculous? I saw the way she looked at you and how her hand brushed against yours way too often”, you hiss, whole body trembling in pure rage.
“Oh, so every woman that touches me is apparently into me, now I get it”, he sarcastically remarks.
You bite your tongue, desperately trying to stop yourself from crying. Why is he not able to understand that you don’t feel comfortable with that situation at all? You told him over and over, especially when she completely ignored your presence on your first meeting. How does he not see all of this?
“You…You transferred money to her. A lot, actually. And all of that after she completely ignored me when you introduced me”
“Just like I do for you-“
“I’m your wife, moron!”, you scream on top of your lungs.
Satoru’s face is twisted in annoyance. He thought he’d come home to your loving arms, cuddling on the couch after a stressful day. But this? You stormed into him the second he opened the door, holding up bank statements. Over the past weeks, this happened way too often, interrupting your otherwise very peaceful marriage in a way Satoru can’t take any longer.
“So what? We’re colleagues, (y/n). You are my wife, why don’t you get that I am forced to work with other women from time to time?”, he questions.
The way he rolls his blue orbs at you sends you over the edge completely.
“So colleagues transfer money, hold deep eye contact and touch each other oh so casually when having a conversation? Don’t fuck with me, Satoru. I told you over and over that it bugs me, that I’m concerned. And you do absolutely nothing about it.”
“Maybe if you’d stop acting like a bitch!”, he cries out in frustration.
Your heart sinks immediately when is words hit you with full force. Even though your relationship with Satoru does get pretty heated from time to time, he never called you names. Never.
Not until now, when it comes to that woman.
You need to get off his sight, away from his stinging presence. Without saying another word, you storm into your shared bedroom and lock the door behind you before he’s able to follow you.
“Maybe if you’d stop acting like a bitch!”
His stinging words repeat themselves over and over in your head while you can’t hold back your tears any longer. This is so unfair. Why is he too blind to see the way she hunts after him, that she wants him to be more than a simple colleague? All you want him is to understand how uncomfortable this situation is for you, that you feel somehow betrayed.
“Open the door, (y/n)”, his clear voice is heard from behind the door.
Satoru knew he overdid it the second he saw the devastated look on your face. No matter how ridiculous this whole topic is, you don’t deserve his anger towards you. Mei isn’t more than a colleague for him though, a woman he has worked with on missions for years. She surely doesn’t like him like that, it’s simply impossible-
His phone vibrates in his pants, making him take a look at the screen.
What do you think about dinner tonight? Just the two of us.
He signs at her message, realization hitting him like a wall. Fuck, what did he do? The countless times her touch brushed over him, the messages she sent him not work related at all every night and how she always avoided the conversation when it came to you flood his mind uncontrollably. How could he make you feel this way? You told him over and over that you feel uncomfortable with this situation, asked him for compromises. And now…
Now he made you feel unwanted, delusional and dumb. You are his wife, the love of his life, the one thing that keeps him going in this world full of madness.
“Can you let me in, (y/n)? I’m sorry…”, he hushes against the closed door.
You can’t catch your breath, dry sobs hunt your body down when a new wave of sorrow washes over you. Does he even love you? All this time you thought you were the love of his life, his pride. But now…It feels like he chose that woman over you, that he cares about her opinion and feelings more than yours.
“I’m coming in”, he softly announces.
Of course, a simple closed door can’t keep him out if he doesn’t want to.
The second he lays his eyes on your crumpled on the floor figure, his heart completely breaks. Instantly, he kneels down in front of you and embraces you in his arms while your sobs make him hate himself even more.
“I’m so unbelievable sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it like that at all. It’s just that in my world, there’s only you and no one else. I never understood how you even get the idea of me liking another woman because this scenario is ridiculous to me. I shouldn’t have lashed out on you like that. I’m so so sorry…”, he mumbles against your ear.
Despite his words still haunt your mind, you can’t help but let yourself fall at least a little into his inviting arms, tears staining his uniform.
“I will talk to her and make clear that you are the one and only for me, I promise.”
It’s impossible to stay mad at him for long. You wrap your longing arms around him, forehead pressed against his.
“So you understand my point?”, you mutter.
“I do and I’m sorry for making you feel this way. You are the only woman in my life and I love you more than anything else”, he reassures you once again.
You definitely won’t get him away this easily. After all, words mean nothing without action. But this is a step in the right direction and for now, you can definitely live with that.
“Now, please stop crying, I’ll call her right away and we’ll watch your favorite show and order some food after, what do you think?”
“Only if you pay”, you sniff.
Megumi Fushiguro
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“Oh, where are you going?”, you question when your boyfriend Megumi gets up from the bed so early in the morning that it’s still dark outside.
The last few weeks were like a trip to hell and back, it seems like your relationship consists of Megumi going on missions while you have to stay behind. Before this night, you haven’t seen him for one whole week and while you do understand his responsibly as a jujutsu sorcerer, you can’t help but feel hurt.
“On a mission of course”, he remarks dryly.
Your eyes begin to burn as your heart sinks. It’s like you don’t know him anymore, as if he’s only the shell of the man you used to love. Is he so sick of you that he doesn’t want to spend a single day on your side? Is all of this on purpose? You can’t hold back any longer.
“You’re always leaving me”, you blurt out.
It shouldn’t bother you. After all, you’re a jujutsu sorcerer yourself. Despite being Shoko’s trainee you should be aware of the fact that this job is a mess and means you have to dedicate your whole life to it.
But still you can’t help but fell hurt. Hurt because your boyfriend doesn’t even smile anymore when he returns, hurt because he comes and goes without saying a word, hurt because you feel like you lost him.
“What was that?”, he grumbles.
“Do you think I do this on purpose?”
“I just feel like you’re never here. And I miss you.”
“Not all of us have an easy job like you, (y/n).”
You swallow hard. Wow, that is new. And extremely painful. Even though you aren’t out there fighting, you still have a lot to do, working your ass off so everyone survives, day and night ready if something happens. This is just not fair.
“You think my job is easy? Stitch yourself up next time, then”, you hiss and cross your arms over your chest.
“Don’t come at me. You started this whole thing!”
“Yeah, I ‘started this whole thing’ because you are my boyfriend and I love you, and I…I fucking miss you! But fine, if you don’t feel the same I’ll just leave.”
It’s ridiculous and you know it, mind screaming violently, begging you to stay. But your heart can’t. This was simply too much. You can’t stay here with a boy that treats you like this.
“If you leave now-“
“Then what?”, you interrupt him immediately, cold eyes glaring at him while your hand rests on the door.
“You’ll leave? You leave every time, Megumi. See you around…Or not.”
And with that, you leave him standing in his room alone, staring at the door like an idiot. What the hell has gotten into you? Since when are you acting up like that? He doesn’t know you like that. But still, your words do make him wonder if you’re somehow right…
He shakes his head violently. No, you’re being ridiculous. Maybe you need to sleep in and you’ll figure this out as soon as he returns.
But one things for sure: Megumi definitely won’t make the first move.
And so days pass until finally weeks begin to pass without both of you saying a single word to each other. Every time you see him you feel like dying inside, heart screaming at you in agony to stop your stubbornness, to approach him and say sorry. But you can’t. You simply can’t over the fact that he let you go like that, not even looking your direction when you cross each other. It’s like he doesn’t know you anymore despite all the nights you shared with each other, despite the intimate moments you’ve had.
No, it seems like he doesn’t care at all.
“Hey (y/n)!”, Nobara greets you.
“Hey, I’m in a bit of a rush”, you explain briefly, already on your way to assist Shoko in an autopsy of a curse.
“It’s just…(y/n), are you and Megumi okay?”, Nobara mutters, her face twisted in concern like you’ve never seen before.
You stop in your tracks, a new wave of grief washing over you. No, nothing is okay, absolutely nothing to be exact. You want to scream it into her face, break down crying, let all your feelings out. But instead, you just gift her an empty smile and say:
“Sure.”
‘Sure’ as if he never raised his voice at you, ‘sure’ as if Megumi would care about you feeling lonely and missing him, ‘sure’ as if you actually meant something to him
“I mean it’s none of my business but…You guys haven’t talk for what feels like an eternity, you are no longer there and I’m just worried that he messed things up with you, y’know…Well, let me know if I can help you with something, okay?”
She gently places her hand on your shoulder while you have to force yourself to not shed a tear. Oh, if she only knew. If she only knew that the last weeks were absolute hell, that you feel like dying inside. But this is something you and Megumi have to deal with alone. Even Nobara can’t help you with that.
You say goodbye to her and walk towards the laboratory, tears still stinging threatening in your eyes. How much you long for talking to him, to tell him how much his words really hurt you. But you can’t bring yourself to make the first step. After all, you tried to talk this out multiple times only for him to not even listen. No, this time he’ll have to make the first move if he wants you back.
If…
“(y/n).”
That voice. That oh so familiar voice that makes your heart skip a beat.
“Megumi”, you breathe out, slowly turning around to face him.
There he stands, scratching his head while looking at your feet, eyes not meeting your gaze.
“How…how you’ve been?”
Even a blind man would see the blush creeping up his face…Is he embarrassed? Painfully awkward silence hangs between you two as all you can do is stare at him, your blood slowly but surely boiling up. Is he really asking you how you’ve been after not talking to you for weeks, ignoring you every time he saw you?
“You have some fucking nerves”, you spit at him, closing the gap between you two with a rushed movement.
“You’re not talking with me for weeks and now you’re asking how I’ve been? I’ve been miserable, Megumi. I felt like dying every time you ignored me!”
Fuck, don’t cry. Don’t let him see how you really feel. Your trembling hands frantically wipe away the threatening tears, eyes darted towards him.
“I just couldn’t, (y/n). It’s just…I…”, he stumbles over his very own words, fingers over and over running through his hair.
“I was able to see it until I thought about it. I’ve been a horrible boyfriend, (y/n). So horrible that I thought you’d be better off without me. But I’m simply too selfish to let you go. I’m sorry for not making time for you, I’m sorry for treating you like shit, I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t love you when in reality, all I was able to think about was you and how much I missed you sleeping besides me”, he suddenly blurts out, leaving you completely speechless.
This is everything. Everything you longed for, ever single word you graved so deeply. Did this thick silence really change the way he sees your relationship now? A look into his sorrow – filled eyes is enough to realize that he’s telling the truth, making your heart jump up and down.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Because I know I’m not the boy you deserve and I’d fully understand if you’re having enough of me. I just wanted to let you know that I can see it now and that I want to give you what you deserve if you let me.”
The glistening in his eyes literally begs you for a second chance while your very own heart screams at you. Of course you want him back, Megumi is everything you ever wanted. But he’ll have to show that it’s really different this time.
“Promise me something”, you announce.
He tilts his head to his side, brows furrowed in confusion.
“What?”
“Promise me you’ll stay with me today, that we’ll spend time together. No mission, no obligations.”
“I’ll stay as long as you need, as long as you want me around, (y/n). This time without you hurt like hell, I simply don’t want to let you go again”, he hushes, his tender fingertips brushing over your arms.
“That sounds good…”, you mutter, resting your head against his chest.
God, how much you missed that feeling. Even though your relationship had its ups and downs, you always admired the way Megumi was able to calm you down in an instant with a simple touch of his hand.
Maybe you will figure it out now. And maybe him not having time for you stays in the past forever.
Kento Nanami
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“Fuck”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
You’re on your way home after a pretty ugly mission. And even though Shoko already stitched you up, you feel like dying. Everything just hurts, it’s hard to even walk.
The thought of your husband at home makes your guts turn. Not because you don’t love him or aren’t longing to see him, but because of your recent conversation.
“It can’t go on like this, (y/n). You’re always injured and it’s starting to concern me. Maybe I have to talk t-“
“No”, you interrupted him immediately.
“Please don’t. I’ll be careful from now on. I promise.”
“Fine. But if this happens again, I’ll have a talk with the elders.”
And it happened again. All these missions one after another really took their toll on your concentration. One moment of unwariness was enough to sweep you off your feet, thigh sliced open in the nastiest way you’ve ever seen. Shoko told you it will take some time to heal entirely, but if Kento gets to see this…
“Maybe I should call Nanami to pick you up. You really can’t walk like that (y/n).”
“No, please don’t!”, you begged Shoko for dear life.
“I don’t want this to cause trouble. It’s fine, really!”
“You almost died, (y/n)”, she remembered you dryly.
“And I will definitely die if you tell him. Please Shoko.”
She signed.
“Fine. Just be careful and visit me tomorrow…”
You swallow. A fight seems inevitable if you won’t hide your wound from him.
You take a deep breath, keys trembling in your sweaty palms. Fuck, why does this have to ache so badly? Shoko gave so some pain killers, you shouldn’t feel a single thing.
No, focus. Pain is only in your head. But Kento is very real.
With one last stolen glance at your injured leg you open the door, forcing a smile on your face. Where is he? Your heart beats out of your chest, hands so sweaty that you have to wipe them on your coat.
“Kento?”, you shout into the quiet living room, closing the door behind you gently.
“There you are, sweetheart”, his voice coos out of the bedroom.
Your breath hitches, eyes wide open at the sight in front of you. There he stands, your loving husband. Dressed in nothing but his pants, bare chest immediately captivating you. Oh god, he looks so delicious that you feel like fainting, hungry eyes roaming over his tight muscles as if you haven’t seen him like that hundreds of times before.
“Where have you been? A mission like that shouldn’t take this long.”
He begins to approach you elegantly, staring at you with a small smile on his delicate lips.
“Y-yeah…Still had something to…y’know…say…to Shoko”, you stutter.
Why does he have to look so absolutely delicious? And why does your leg suddenly feel so…wet?
“Are you alright? You seem a little unfocused today. Did you get hurt?”
His eyes scan over your body without any mercy, forcing you to hide your leg behind the other.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine”, you press out.
No, you’re anything but fine. The way your other leg brushes against your injured one makes you see stars. You feel like fainting and throwing up at the same time, sweat running down your forehead uncontrollably. You need medication – now.
“I planned something very excited for us today. Something you might like”, he purrs, closing the distance between your bodies.
His hand grabs your waist passionately while your mixed emotions take your breath away. God, how much you love the way his arms wrap themselves around you, knowing exactly that this leads you directly into the bedroom.
But that means…
“Oh yeah?”, you chuckle nervously.
That means he’ll see the wound you’re so desperately trying to hide.
“Absolutely”, he breathes against your ear.
Oh god, this is so good…No, it’s not good at all. You need to get away from him, out of this misery, into t-
A toe-curling scream escapes your lips before you even realize what is happening, body stumbling backwards.
“(y/n)!”, Nanami mutters, eyes wide open.
He squeezed your leg like he always does and just the way you like it. Why on earth are you acting like that? That haunted look on your face almost makes it seem as if he hurt you.
Lost in thoughts, he looks down at his hand.
His blood-smeared hand.
It slowly dawns to him. No, it isn’t because he did something you don’t like. It’s because you’re injured again. And you decided to lie into his face about it.
“What is this?”
Your husband’s voice sounds as unpromising as you imagined it in this situation, eyes widen in horror while you’re still panting in agony.
Fuck. Your heart drops immediately by the sight of his blood smeared hand. Kento is an outstanding smart man, too clever to be considered an idiot by your actions.
“You promised me to stay safe. And that you lie to be about being injured...”
“(y/n), look at me”, he insists, grabbing your chin.
His eyes seem to stare right through your soul as he glances down at you, jaw tightened.
“I can’t believe you lied to me.”
“Only because you’d freak out”, you reply in your own defense.
“Like I should! I told you over and over to look out for yourself, to skip a few missions before you get seriously hurt. And what is that, huh?”
He points at your wounded leg, blood now soaking through the fabric of your skirt.
“You are severely injured. Just like I predicted.”
You feel like a child being scolded by her parents. Even though Kento never raises his voice at you aggressively, you can tell by the way his whole body tenses up and that glistening in his gaze that he’s absolutely furious.
“I am able to look after myself. I know what’s best for me”, you remark annoyed.
Fuck, you’re so damn tired. All you want is to bandage yourself up and go to sleep.
“Yes, I can see that.”
Something about his sarcastic tone and the way he stares down at you while shaking his head makes you snap.
“I’m a grown woman, I don’t need you to look after me like a damn child! Mind your own business, Kento!”
“You are my business. You are my wife. It’s my responsibility to take care of you!”, he barks back.
“But I don’t want you to take care of me, I want you to leave me alone!”, you spit into his face, making him drop his shoulders immediately.
God, you want to take that back straightaway, knowing damn well how your comment hurt his feelings. But at the moment, all you can think about is a warm bed and finally some rest.
You drag yourself into the bedroom and let your trembling body fall onto the mattress. This is not fair, right? After all, you aren’t a child anymore, you are able to look after yourself…right?
You close your eyes, the disappointed look on Kento’s face lingering through your mind. It wasn’t fair to snap at him, though. He is your husband, always caring about you. No, he certainly doesn’t deserve you to treat him like this.
Three soft knocks on the door.
“Can I come in?”, his damped voice questions.
“Sure”, you mumble.
You can’t even look at him when he enters the room in silence, elegant steps leading him to the bed where he sits down next to you. Suddenly, he begins to rip open a package of bandages, catching your attention.
“What are you doing?”
“I take care of you. May I?”
His gaze wanders to your skirt, eyes asking you for permission to pull it up.
“Sure…”, you mutter, a slight blush creeping up your face when his fingers brush over your panties.
“How did this happen?”, he asks softly while his skilled fingers remove the blood soaked bandage.
“I don’t know exactly. Wasn’t paying full attention and got hit by a curse.”
“I see.”
Despite all the things you said to him, despite the way you hurt him a few minutes ago, your man kneels in front of you and caresses your wound with so much affection that it doesn’t hurt at all. Your eyes wander over him, how his gaze is focused exclusively on your thigh, skilled fingers working wonders.
“I’m sorry for lashing out and not telling you”, you let out, not able to hold in your bad conscience any longer.
“I understand that I put you in an uncomfortable position when I threatened to talk to the elders about this and I’m very sorry for that. But it can’t go on like this, (y/n). This is the 5th serious injury within three weeks and I’m truly worried about you. I don’t want you to end like-“
He stops himself from finishing that sentence but oh you know exactly what he means and it shatters your heart. Without hesitation, your fingers grab his face gently, eyes locking with yours.
“I love you, Kento. And I see that you’re right. I’ll talk to the elders tomorrow myself about that”, you assure him.
A small but precious smile appears on his face, free hand caressing your cheek with so much affection that you have to hold back a tear.
“You’re my everything, sweetheart. Let’s stitch you up and go to bed.”
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sweet1delusi0ns · 4 months
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Naruto boys n cuddles ──☆*:・゚
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,choji🍥,gaara⏳, kankuro🪆
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Naruto🦊-*
He cuddles like a monster, more than once have you almost been suffocated because he rolled over onto you, and he ALWAYS falls asleep when cuddling so the only safe way to cuddle is either him holding you so he subconsciously realizes your there or lay flat on top of him so he can’t roll around. No matter how you cuddle you always catch him smiling and giggling. He's so happy all the time with you😭
Sasuke🗡️-*
He doesn't know which way is the best way to cuddle. If he faces away from you he feels like he's being cold but deep down he wants to be held. If he faces at you he doesn't know how to act but he does want to hold you too, until he realizes you could just lay on him instead! He can hold you n you can hold him but doesn't have to feel obligated to make eye contact or anything, Also so he can hide his smile since he got to be tough yk
Kiba🐺-*
Always sprawled out on your lap or hanging on to you from your shoulders, almost like a back hug. He peaks his head out from your neck to see what you're doing. The only reason he would sprawl out on you is if he's tired he falls asleep in like 4 seconds. And snores...really loud. But he thinks it's nice you let him sleep anyways
Shikamaru🀄️-*
Let's be honest, he's asleep before you can even get into a position. But if he is awake he prefers to spoon you so he can "protect you" he says. In reality he just likes holding your waist, also so he has room to kiss your cheek whenever
Shino🪲-*
He honestly wouldn't care as long and you were both comfortable and happy, he mainly wants you to be happy actually. But if he had to choose a favorite it would be you laying on his chest. He likes that fact that still be on guard if something happens but can still cuddle, also he likes running his fingers up your back softly
Neji🎋-*
"I refuse to be apart of a time wasting activity when I could be working!" "Shut up and get in bed neji." "...fine". He acts like he's so bothered by cuddling but in reality he would break if you stopped asking for them. He doesn't like cuddling laying down he's scared he will let his guard down to far, so you try to cuddle while just sitting. He rests his head on your shoulder mostly. Also refuses to admit but he wants you to play with his hair, so every time he lays on you he starts fiddling with his own hair until you do it for him.
Choji🍥-*
With enough begging and food you can pick whatever cuddle position you want. One time you asked if he could lay on your chest and he was so scared of hurting you, but you assured him that's what you wanted. He finally rested on you waiting for you to chime in begging him to get off but to his surprise you let out a content sigh. "Your like a heated blanket choj" you comment while a smile grew on both of your faces. From now on that's your signature cuddle position
Gaara⏳-*
Took a while to convince him to try but once he agreed you had to explain it all. "We just lay down and relax together, hold each other if you want!" He raised an eyebrow "what if I don't want to relax though...?" You chuckle at his worried tone "I'll protect you don't worry nothing will happen, just come lay down". Once he's situated you slowly reach your arm over to pull him close. He squints in reaction but once he finally realized that this wasn't as bad at all he loved it. more specifically he loved being in your arms. Every now and then he'll demand "hold me."
Kankuro🪆-*
Dude doesn't even ask he just grabs you and prays you're not in a bad mood, most of the time you're not. He holds you as close as possible to his chest so he can leave kisses on your forehead or kisses on your neck, sometimes you reach up to playfully pinch his cheeks or pull him by the hair to get a real kiss before relaxing in his arms. He secretly loves when you touch his hair especially when you pull it
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