#and also i did some other activities
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I came, I saw, I officially was witness as two old friends get married in a 4:20 4/20 vegas wedding in the taco bell chapel!!






#on this beautiful holiday#easter i mean wrestlemania i mean spring break i mean weed day#and also i did some other activities#hell of a trip!#time to schedule for a decent hour before i pass out from exhaustion
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot

#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as âso bland he's tempted to throw salt on himselfâ and âall he could do is lay around and wait for deathâ (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on âShen Yuan isnât lazyâ is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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#alright tag readers#i'm gonna share some blog lore with you all#most of the memes i posted when i was active i stole from reddit#and my main way to use reddit was the apollo app for ios#which reddit broke with their insane api pricing#so when that happened i was like woah! i can finally touch grass#i did not#but i also did not immediately find any other meme pages#and i'm honestly not that confident to try making memes on my own (although i should probably try)#still#i will continue to pick memes from whatever sources i find AND SOURCE THEM APPROPRIATELY#anyways enjoy your year-end festivities and have a good one <3
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2025 reads / storygraph
Something Extraordinary
historical platonic-romcom
an aromantic woman tired of feeling unworthy when the people closest to her leave her behind for romance, and a gay man in unrequited love who is planning on giving up and marrying a woman in misery and drunkenness
she kidnaps him the day before the marriage to stop him ruining his life, suggesting that they get platonically married instead - and on the ridiculous journey to scotland to elope, they have to convince each other if itâs what is best for them, and what they want out of life/love/and friendship
#something extraordinary#alexis hall#aroaessidhe 2025 reads#aromantic books#platonic-romcom that really delves into the characters and their relationship and itâs JUST what I crave so much#itâs the kind of aromantic narrative I want more of.#Someone whoâs (mostly) content in their identity AND the narrative actively discusses and explores amatonormativity and being aro#(rather than just internalised arophobia; or aro but itâs barely part of the narrative)#I have read the first book in this trilogy and it was okay but not really my vibe; I skipped the second because of this.#I realise belle has some background development in that one but. well#I think this third book as the conclusion of her arc has the most important part of it to me#I appreciate how well this managed to have them both at separate points have to convince the other that eloping is a good idea#really digging into their characters and not feeling completely like ridiculous back and forth#(though of course itâs pretty ridiculous in many ways being the kind of book it is)#itâs very heavy on the witty regency banter which is fun to an extent but thereâs a bit much for me - I guess I knew this going in#The pacing at the end is a bit weird with multiple timeskips.#I feel like it could have padded that out a little more and removed some of the earlier bits#Some of those parts like re: his parents felt like they could have used a bit More to them.#I also appreciate the âfuck you for planning to punish yourself by getting married to a woman without thinking about#what thatâs like for herâ from MULTIPLE women lmao#aro woman x gay man friendships are very important to me. good dynamic.#anyway. did make me cry aromantically
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I can't begin to tell you how much this pisses me off to no avail.

#ariel#eric#disney#the little mermaid#meme#disney memes#i've seen this a few times.....#âshallowâ and it's because eric had the nerve to find ariel physically beautiful lmao#it did not confirm what ursula said tho#she specifically stated to ariel that that was the ONLY thing that would get her a man up on land#eric was attracted to ariel as a whole not just because of her physical beauty. it was the cherry on top#but it makes me so mad when i see people slut-shame ariel#slut-shaming is wrong unless it's done to ariel#she is one of the few cases where this shit is permissible and i hate it#like yeah she was active in her own desires and made the move. SO? she was not just gonna wait#the writers made her unapologetically confident in her own sexuality and attraction to eric and i truly appreciate that#which would have made her really stand out from other upper class human women because a lot of them were way more restricted when it came to#expressing their attractions and desires. they were basically expected to be coy and wait but ariel clearly threw those social expectations#out the door and i like her for it lol#it also really makes her stand out from her predecessors and even the ones who came after her#at least some
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Sometimes I see people theorize why Hong Lu's ids seem to split into 2 in terms of personality and some of them are really cool theories but I'm pretty sure the actual answer is just his response to his trauma. For ids like dieci and liu (and I'm pretty confident r corp is in this group too, contrary to what some people may think) he represses his emotions to deal with his trauma. Meanwhile for ids like tingtang, fanghunt and kurokumo, he acts violent so he feels like he's in control of what happened to him or something along those lines
#honestly kind of sick of the narrative that hong lu must have someone else in his body for him to act differently#yes hong lu is an inherently kind person and some of his ids like tingtang have him acting ooc#but trauma changes people#the only problem with my take is how the id timelines add up since changes between mirror worlds occur between 2 to 3 years#but if you put someone like hong lu where he's actively encouraged to be violent then it's not out of the question that he'll end up violen#of course it could end up being a case of two people being in one body kind of situation but for hong lu in particular i feel like that's j#here you have the opportunity to further explore mental health in a series that's focused so heavily on it already#but instead of doing that you go âits actually this other person in this character's body that is being evilâ#like it would be one thing if this was because hong lu has did (which is a very cool concept that should be explored theory or not) but nop#gotta wait for his seasonal id to drop to say anything for sure though#sorry for the rant in tags but i've been holding onto this for far too long#as apology i have a fullstop hong lu oneshot coming up#also did anyone else realize that his fullstop id is the one version where he's the most well adjusted or is that me#limbus#lcb hong lu#hong lu
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Gonna say something controversial.
Ford Pines is a nuanced character who is neither good nor bad. Absolving him of his crimes is actively a detriment to his character and does a disservice to the storytelling of Gravity Falls, but defining him exclusively by his mistakes without taking the time to understand him is a purposefully bad faith take that actively makes your enjoyment of the show worse.
He is neither a good or bad person, because "good" people and "bad" people aren't real. There's just people. And people fuck up sometimes.
If no one fucked up and if no one held onto those fuckups sometimes out of sheer desperation, the world of fiction would be way more boring, unengaging, and dull.
Ford Pines is a mess and I don't want him to be sanitized or demonized. I just want him to be a mess.
Thank you
#sorry someone keeps sending bad ford takes into a server i'm in and they're getting to me#he's a prideful and arrogant man and also deeply insecure and compensating for that with ego#he wants to be a good person and do the right thing while accepting influence from the worst people in his life because he respects them#he's placed his entire self worth on a pedistal because everyone else held him to that bar#and he'll never reach it because he keeps putting it up higher and higher before he even can#like he coulda published his research at any time but chose not to because he wanted to make a wave in science so big he couldn't be ignore#he felt like if he wasn't someone extraordinary then there was no point to him at all because he cannot be ordinary#it's either excel or be outcasted. and he was done being outcasted#so he used that to build himself up as compensation for that looming feeling#and as a result he tried to reach up as high as he could and took bad deals#bill made it clear; it's the hillbilly or me. he's going to betray you. and as soon as ford thought bill was right it was joever#bill manipulated him onto that train of thought but he ultimately made that call at Greasy's that night#that's the fun part! there's the nuance!!#ford wouldn't have acted that way without bill's influence but bill did not actively tell him to treat fidds like that#it's so interesting because it's so layered and intertwined. so many variables rely on each other to happen.#this is a good man pushed in the worst direction possible by a being who intends him harm and ford is nonethewiser until it's too late#idk why it's controversial to say that i like my ford messy but here we are. i like him messy. he's not an angel but he's not a demon eithe#he's a goddamn human and the show treats him like one#journal 3 and TBOB also support this. hell TBOB's entire *point* was to show how bill managed to manipulate him#and show the horrors that came after. then it showed us that ford has nothing to be ashamed of there. it's not his fault#no one in his family blames him or thinks he's stupid for falling for bill. why do some people think he is or think TBOB thinks he is?#i dont get it#dimond speaks
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Not a studyblr thing but I'm tentatively thinking about signing up for some yoga classes as someone who has never taken yoga before (but practiced a little at home years ago) and is a total couch potato that doesn't want to be a total couch potato anymore. Does anyone have any tips/ advice for an inexperienced newbie?
Not necessarily on yoga itself but rather on things like finding the right place I guess?
#i don't know ive been feeling very lonely lately and i want to get out there#but i also have 0 physical activity in my everyday life and that. is not healthy lol#i enjoyed yoga when i did it by myself#but now i cant work up the discipline to do it#and im hoping a class full of other people might just be what i need#will delete in a couple of days but perhaps there's someone here who has some experience?#op
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Question: Ichigo was using a quincy based power disguised as his zanpakuto all the way up until tybw, right. And quincy power works very differently when it comes to souls.
He was konsoing them, right? It was still cleansing them and sending them on to soul society, right?? That is how it happened???
He didn't accidentally dissolve the souls of a bunch of innocents while thinking he was righteously saving them, right?!
#It LOOKED like it worked but it also LOOKED like a shinigami zanpakuto and not a quincy bow when it functionally Was Not#I mean imagine if the quincy half dissolved the souls into reishi and the hollow half ate it and that's why Ichigo('s hollow) grew so quick#Like he'd be devastated but I honestly can't see either spirit apologising#Uryuu would be so salty that HE got all the flack for soul dusting activities and Ichigo got off scott free despite the chaos he caused#Now I'm thinking about it did Chad's parakeet friend get konso'd by Ichigo or did he cross some other way. I think he did it himself#bleach#bleach meta#New fringe theory!!#Bleach theory#ichigo kurosaki#zanpakutou#zangetsu#zanpakuto
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so. now that my accidental hiatus is over and i've rattled myself free of the grave, i just want to give a general update on this blog and where i'm at with it. because i do love this blog and want to post, but when i made this blog, the intention of it was canon-based metas and discussions around DC that were often ship-focused, but also just generally my opinions on the fandom. and of course i enjoy rolling around in the filth and having a lot of sexual/dead dove posts on main, but it did overwhelm me a bit when that became my entire blog and i got more asks than i could keep up with.
so in the future, i think i'm going to stagger how fast i answer asks and try to find a healthy mix of my own metas, dead dove shipposting, and whatever else i want to put here. and while i don't want to close asks because i invite discourse my way, i do have to say i will be much slower to answering them. sometimes we will be whores on main, sometimes we will be analyzing this fandom and it's source material on main. who is to say. but either way, we're back and no one can get rid of me.
#necrotic nonsense#blog update#I do love the filth asks do not get me wrong#but I have over a hundred in my inbox.#and they overtook my blog for a while and I do think that stressed me out#did it cross my mind that I can do what I want on my blog? obviously not.#me learning the same lessons in fandom over and over about doing what I want in my own spaces.#teenage me is rolling in her grave.#I have some asks to answer that are general things#then i'll filter some filth and some metas#might change my tagging system to better suite it for ppl who only want one or the other. unclear.#also accidentally stopped writing for months.#yk how they say it takes a while for trauma to actually hit you#turns out when you get out of a traumatic situation and go 'wow I feel great life is so much better' you should probably give it a sceond#it catches up.#i'm in a good situation. just have things to process. ooops.#also discord plug.#if you want to talk to me daily. I'm always active in the discord. join the discord. be one of us.#we talk shit nonstop it's lovely. join us.#also the baby I take care of is almost 8 months old now. I love that lil guy he's so cool.
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the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiuâs changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe wonât kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and heâs witnessed luo bingheâs devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiuâs corpse.
anyways in this essay i will-
#listen#binghe needs to have more people in his corner#and for some reason i have imprinted on mqf#so you get cool healer uncle#who probably smoked weed with binghe and made him promise to keep quiet#lbh and mqf bonding activity was teaching lbh to properly roll joints#anyways mqf understanding that the rituals are intricate and lqg doesnât have any other way of coping with his grief#but the first time lqg injures lbh almost to death in a fight they get into a screaming match so violent#that no bai zhan discipline will look at him in the face without going pale for the next month#that is his nephew! who found several thought-to-be-extinct herbs for him!#also him telling sqq that lbh might have forgotten what he did but mqf certainly didnât#a healer never forgets the wounds they heal#and sqq is just like yeah brother me neither :(#mqf is going to therapy these idiots so fucking hard#lbh also keeps trying to matchmake him with some nice demons in his court like shamelessly trying to poach his mu shishu#also he and shang qinghua are the only ones who still get the full shishu treatment#except lbh kinda bullies sqh a little for the virtue of the whole mbj situation#(hes never gonna let them live that down)#anyways itâs whatever at first but at one poont years in the future it does become a point of contempt with the other peak lords#nothing can take away from me that when bored they will squabble like children#such is the way of bored adults#i have rambled enough so normal tags now#svsss#svsss writing#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#bingqiu#svsss au
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I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it
#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color#and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural#and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural#and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring#and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently#the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart#and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural#he was behind the curtain like FUCK#taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup#that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol#so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO#other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace#and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell#and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins#he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home#flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish#and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.
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Random YJ98 thought: Cissie becoming a doctor/medic for the Justice League
We know she has some field medicine training from the whole Our Worlds At War arc - she wanted to help without getting back into the fight itself
What if that stuck? If she decided that helping people that way was something she wanted to do?
She would never be a hero in the traditional sense again, but what if she was a hero to the heroes? The one to help them when they were hurt, stablize their injuries and help them recover to go back in the field?
#cissie king jones#arrowette#it feels weird to tag her hero name when this pot is very much about her NOT being arrowette but like#young justice#young just us#yj98#dc comics#dcu#haven's writing#mostly just tagging that in case i wanna expand on the idea#as much as i like cissie i don't feel like i know a lot about her#but also i've read like 90% of the comics she was in post-crisis by virtue of the fact that i've read (most) of young justice#same with anita greta and slobo#they're really just underexplored characters#like at the end of yj i was so curious about greta and her mom#since her mom was shown to be institutionalized#and greta was suddenly alive again#but then nothing happened with it??#and she's just suddenly attending the same school as cissie and traya?#i don't really get what happened there#like it's nice that they're together#but still confusing to e#also was anita invited to join the titans?#why am i only now realizing that i have no clue whether they extended an invitation#dc why did you not include that#they couldve made such an interesting storyline with her balancing essentially being a teen mom to twins#who also happen to be essentially the reincarnated souls of her parents#but they just kinda dropped her??#and i know she has some later appearance i'm not chronologically at yet#but like it's wild how they just left her behind when the other active members of yj all became titans
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Moon 01, pt 2; Alpineknoll is scarred for life
Original written description of this event below:
(Alpineknollâs eyes go wide, mouth agape with confused horror. Yewstars only seem to glaze over with a hollow, knowing contempt.Â
He motions for her to stay back, but Alpineknoll ignores him, stepping through the bushes and into view of the thunderpath.
What she sees there continues to haunt her, each time she closes her eyes.
A twisted body, back twisted into a u shape and once folded over itself. Paws outstretched, mouth agape. Eyes wide, just glazing over, still full of longing pain.Â
Sheâs only snapped from her horrified stupor when Yewstar carefully approaches, running his tail along her back and speaking her name.
He explains that this is something that happens often. That twolegs are cruel, mindless beasts, that hurt things for the sake of hurting them.)
As you can see some things changed, like the shape of the body, but. Idk I just felt like including the written alternative as well
#clangen#clangen oc#righteous pines#pineclan#warrior cats oc#warrior cats#warriors#clangen blog#my art#alpineknoll#yewstar#spiderclan (mentioned)#Now for some talking! This isnât the first body Alpineknoll has ever seen BUT its the most horrific body sheâs ever seen#Like her mom died in battle. But it was just battle wounds and bleeding. Like sheâs obviously also scarred from that#But this is the first time sheâs ever seen a cat hit by a car#The road in their territory/near spiderclan border is not often used. But when it is people go fast asf and are not looking for wild cats#This cat can either be spiderclan or a rogue/loner but given that Yewstar actually looks to have an ounce of pity its probably the latter#Pineclan as a whole holds far less contempt for loners and rogues just trying to survive than they do the other clans#Because loners didnât DENY the word of the prophet Pinestar. They just arenât aware yet. The other clans chose to follow blasphemers#actually i think thatâs what I said seperates a rogue and loner in this world. A loner is a cat who hasnât been informed yet#And a rogue is a cat not in a clan who actively rejects joining Pineclan and accepting Pinestarâs gospel. Thus making them a âthreatâ#The distinction has nothing to do with aggression in this universe its literally just âare you just unaware of cat Jesus or did you reject#Himâ#anyway sorry this took forever I put off formatting for like a week đ#sorryyy I will hopefully get the next one out sooner lol#we never know!#oh also#cw gore
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Today has been one of those "Sorry! I couldn't hear you over the texture of my socks" days.
#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#it's so embarrassing!!!#like yes i care and yes i was listening but also no i have no idea what you just said#getting diagnosed gave me permission to admit what's REALLY wrong and also do shit outside social norms to make it suck less#but it also makes me look âweirdâ to non autistic people (and past me who wasn't diagnosed til my 30s)#I can remember past me saying that I couldn't be autistic because I don't do [thing] (I was powering through and suffering)#It's like... I have a mild allergy to a couple foods but didn't know for YEARS so I'd eat whatever and either suffer or take benadryl#then well into adulthood one of my friends was listening and was like DUDE YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME!???#doctor had me change my diet DRASTICALLY but the constant itchiness and sore throat and stomach pain went away#but sometimes people act weird or put out when I ask questions or refuse food#sometimes people lie and say a food is safe when it's SUPER not and then I'm having an allergic reaction on the way home#my body is permanently damaged because of decades of trying to eat like everybody else#meanwhile my mental health took that hit from decades of trying to ACT like everybody else#I'm sooo much happier now with my safe foods and silly fidgets and good textures AND I can live an active life!#but sometimes people give me funny looks when I ask for the grill to be cleaned or don't like a new shirt because it makes me anxious#hell the other day a dude gave me a weird look (and I overheard shit they said) because I HAPPY STIMMED at Hot Topic (Hazbin merch)#meanwhile my friends love my stimming because its the âJamie barometerâ#my (best friend's) mom says the biggest compliment to her cooking is when she can hear me foot tapping under the table#so... yeah#a diagnosis is permission to be me and have a better life at the cost of dealing with assholes because I'm not masking or lying anymore#bluewind talks#holy journal entry batman!#did NOT intend the tags to turn into... whatever the fuck this is XD#but if for some reason you read this far? I hope you found something in it that made you think or made you smile (if not hi anyway! ^_^)
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