#and at the end of my rope. thanks

[alisria]

i know i am just smad because im tired and in pain and havent eaten in 12 hours and have no plans to but

i think as i approach 30 i am really starting to lose my mind a little bit about how ive spent 27 years putting my life on hold until X. like oh i will go out and do new things when i have X. i cant enjoy travelling until i have X. i cant be happy until i have X. and like. X doesnt seem possible anymore. i dont have the willpower to make it happen. i dont care enough. because i never gave myself anything to care about because that was something that would come after X. well what the fuck do i do when X never comes? feel like this forever? because ive certainly been dealing with that reality my entire life. and i can look at my friends and see they dont need X to be happy and thats fine and im so glad for them and i dont WANT them to need X but i do.

and it's like. okay well if X is my obstacle, what are the steps i need to take to get X? okay well join your support groups. go to your doctor. get more doctors. beg for help with X from them. from your family. and then the support groups say "you dont want it enough", the doctors say "you shouldnt want X at all", and your family doesnt answer your pleas because what you want doesn't matter, you dont want it enough, you should be doing other things, etc. and it's like. all my life i have felt like an absolutely massive part of me is missing. and the only thing that will fix it is X. doctor will give you vyvanse. doctor will give you all the hormones you can dream of without you even fucking asking. doctor will offer gender affirming surgery you dont even want. but you beg for X, you beg for help just getting closer to X, you write out a page of reasons why X would get you closer to finally feeling like a real person, like yourself, a self you havent even fucking met yet at nearly 30 years old, and doctor goes "ehhh well you need to learn to be happy without X. because you can't have it." and its like well girl what the FUCK do i do because thats the only thing ive literally ever wanted and i've structured my entire life over the pipe dream of maybe having it someday and i CANT have anything else until i have X and they kind of shrug and give you another doctor that goes yeah no you dont get a diagnosis and nothing is wrong with you and i wont help you get X so no more appointments call me if you need me but doctor i am fucking pagliacci.

and there's that nagging thought, that if i get X, nothing will change. the support groups tell you this. nothing will change. you will still be socially inept, you will still be mentally ill with agoraphobia, you will still struggle every fucking day of your life with choices that tear you apart. and i can hear that for 10 years and still feel incomplete without it. i am defective goods and i need a part installed and people either say "well you dont need that part to work!" "you can be happy without the part!" "you can never have the part, even if you get it installed it will never work so why even bother?" and this is supposed to feel like support. this is supposed to be positivity. but it's not. maybe it is for other people. but it isnt for me. but i can have hormones if i want!!!!! here you can transition wont that make you feel better!!!!! wont that make you hate yourself less!!!!! have as many hormones as you want!!!!!!!

and on tuesday im going to go to the doctor and smile and say everythings great im fine physiotherapy is working the meds are working everything is perfect see you in 3 months when i am quite literally rotting inside and there is no cure

im going to bed

[bartholomew-junior]

i’ve seen fundraisers gain over 5k in less than 2 days, and if something like that happened to @rajaagaza’s fundraiser, it would change her and her family’s lives.

11 months of genocide have been carried out, i know people are growing weary and working themselves to the bone. but i also know that people are dying. is that not enough to raise your hand?

i hate to say it because i don’t want to confront it, i don’t want to say that the kind, thoughtful, funny woman who asked me about my broken wrist while she was in an active war zone, who told me recently about how her baby boy, karam, recently got some toys gifted to him and how he’s been so happy, is, with every increasing second, more and more likely to die. is that enough for you?

her family is only 5,353 CAD away from being completed. please please please please do anything, anything at all that you can.

here is my comms for proof of donation for her (and others campaigns) info if it helps.

tags for reach underneath the cut. tell me if u don’t wanna be tagged again please:

@wellwaterhysteria , @appsa , @apollos-olives

[20cm]

hi, i unfortunately need help covering a combined bill that rounds to roughly ~$1500 due to the vehicle i share with my mother + my only transportation to work being suddenly very out of commission.

$500 is renting the cheapest vehicle we could for a week, the rest is for the part we need to repair it and the repair itself. the issues with it have already cost me hours at work.

i work 'full time' (a little under 40hrs) making minimum wage to support myself + my mom and our animals and we'd been coasting by despite having a $600 vet bill we were chipping away at. right now im prioritizing trying to get this $1500 off our backs.

if youre able anything helps, truly, even just reblogging this. thank you so much in advance (pls dont tag with b00st/etc)

♡ v3nmo: @/rookwind

♡ p@/pal: @/ceeqyinn

[samrosemodblog]

I need your help

Hey everyone. I don't normally do this, and I really, really hate just asking for money if I can work for it instead, but I've hit a crossroad in my life.

On April 2nd of this year my father suffered a cardiac arrest while trying to get a standard procedure done in the hospital. His health has mostly returned to normal, however it is clear that he won't be able to live unassisted any longer. My family does not have any homes that can comfortably take him in or meet his living needs, so we need help covering for an assisted living facility.

The problem though is that this is a monthly expenditure. It won’t be a ‘one time donation’, and I understand that’s much harder for people to donate to. Genuinely and truly, even $1 a month means $1 less I have to worry about finding between me and my family.

And if you’re not comfortable with donating, then by all means, please commission me! I will work for you until either I can secure a better paying job or finances ease up somehow.

Thank you all for your time and consideration. Here are the links if you’d like to help out:

https://ko-fi.com/samrose

https://vgen.co/SamRoseMod

[arsonistmoth]

Local nonbinary nerd really needs help paying rent.

2023 has been a rough year as I was fired in January over my internet connection going out for a few days. The joy of remote work for a piece of shit company. Since then I've applied for job after job after job and was safe with unemployment for a time. However that has run out.

I live in a red state so not only is there nowhere safe to go if I do lose my apartment, seeing as I am visibly not female presenting, but there is no rental assistance to be had here. Because of course there isn't with covid 'gone'

Long story short I need 512usd by the 5th or I will not have a roof over my head for myself and my two furbabies.

Any help, any at all, would be so greatly appreciated.

Paypal: @ Goatsgalore96

Venmo: @ CallenGGoat

I also have commissions open as well as 2 pride YCH options.

Any help is so very appreciated

[barksbog]

twitter crumbling is objectively funny but it has also very noticeable messed with me making a living of my work. idk what to do now if i´m honest.

like probably just find another place but idk where to go anymore. if anyone else who has to advertise their work on socialmedia has any recommendations/advice, please let me know.

[diodellet]

.

[inkspottie]

Hello everyone! If you didn’t know I’ve been without a job for a bit more of a month now, and finding one is a bit harder than I thought it would be.

It’s nearing the end of the month and bills are going to come up, and I unfortunately don’t have enough to pay for them.

So! I thought we both could get something out of this, you get a wonderful chibi drawing (fully digital with minimum shading) of your favorite character or something you’d like! I’ll do my best with it, and you only have to pay 10 bucks! Quite a steal!

I appreciate all the help, even if it’s just boosting it. I know times are tough for everyone, so any little gesture is more than enough.

Feel free to ask me for examples of the chibi drawings, and if you want one just make sure to tell me through kofi!

My ko-fi is here!

Thank you so much!!

[lunasilvis]

Oh, du musst nicht in Deutsch antworten!

Ja, wir verstehen auch viel Niederländisch. Aber nicht alles ... Und du bildest super Sätze!

Both languages are irrefutably closely related. But it's tricky, there are also great distinctions which make both languages wildly different. For example, a friend of mine dates a German girl from Oberhausen (just 30 minutes across the border). Now, an American or British or French person could think this makes for little obstacles in communication - since both our languages sound so alike. Yet, 3 years of their relationship in, they still need to speak in full English to make themselves understandable haha. And the accents when speaking each other's languages also are so different.

[narwhalandchill]

i. havent won a 50-50. Since patch ONE POINT SIX . 💀

like First i get stuck doing a thing at work for like 2+ hours so i couldnt go take a coffee break and pull the second the banner dropped like id planned but it was fine whatever i was helping a coworker its cool. So then like at the End of the day im in the break room sitting at w a couple of ppl still around so i cant like react to it outwardly or anything . finally doing my scuffed mobile pulls just hoping for one W for once and a quick jade and. What fucking happens . like this shit cant be fucking serious 😭😭😭😭

Anyway then this happened at 25 pity immediately afterwards so i guess its like. Fine but actually . What the hell is the shit luck streak im on with 50-50s.......

i didnt even watch the pull animation play w this one 💀💀💀 i just skipped it and cue jade jumpscare . thanks ig idek what id have done if i genuinely couldnt get her day 1 despite prefarming actual 6/10/10/10 mats (mostly bc i was too busy to farm anything else than those on auto but eh)

im not even like a jade fan rly i think her design is a letdown its just the kit thats cool sjjsfsjdk and like free PF clears is neat i Do Love Me a FUA bullshit. i rly wish her design was more inspired than it is bc theres potential there and great elements like the black lace and hat but they just had to go the mid route all the way 🙄🙄 i like her VA also and her character is cool in theory its just a shame 2.3 was written like dogshit her included so...... but its ok i will appreciate her nonetheless .

[dandyshucks]

one more day... going to be home by the end of the day tomorrow if all goes well... i am ready to start chewing on cement to be perfectly honest

[partyinthemysterymachine]

covered in seasoning and cheese dust from various rice cake flavors

so like...... Due To Life Circumstances, Ren will not be able to edit for GOOMT for little while. i'm going to very much miss her and her quips and dragging me to hell and back in google docs every month and lulling me to sleep with her terrorized screams, but i'm sure she'll be back soon enough she cannot fucking quit me or goomt bc goomt is her controversial and illegitimate redheaded stepchild thrice removed. we know this and we love it

......... but you know what that also means.......? :)?

that means i'm on my own. i'm running sweaty and wild-eyed through slippery halls with a knife in one hand and scissors in the other and zero recollection of how to hold either of them safely. i will perform head-on collisions with each and every wall and corner i can find with such cringe and fervor that crash test dummies will be flopping miserably about during the walk flop of shame home. maybe you already knew - maybe you already saw it in ch 69. maybe you had an inkling in your subconscious that maybe, just perhaps, mayhaps it's a possibility, that Some Amount Of Shenanigans™️ are up.

well.

buckle up and pucker up, my lovely field of buttercups, cuz i'm driving with an expired license and we're going to McDonalds for a coffee and prolonged stay in the ball pit, mark my words

which is all to say, GOOMT ch70 soon :)

[ssaalexblake]

Anybody got some cash to spare so I can hire a robot to do all the shit that gets lumped on me as local free labour girl so I can just grieve in peace? 😑

[puppy-the-mask]

Introducing; Chompy! (HorrorSwap!Sans)

I’ve been meaning to make concrete designs for him and his brother Skewer for awhile and recently I’ve been reading some horrorswap fics that really kicked me into gear!

Closeups below ^w^

[waterfoul]

Listening to Kid War on repeat because I've got the kind of ache only a screaming white boy in a car can soothe

[mrslittletall]

@mytypeismohg replied to your post “Everything is getting a bit much and while I know...”:

Whenever I get overwhelmed by things I think of it like winning a marathon. Your legs will burn like hell but know you're getting closer to victory. Keep pushing and you'll make it, but always know you have limits and let yourself rest. If you have any friends or family there's no shame in asking if someone can come over and help you out with daily life too. I really hope life clears up for you. 😊

​The thing is, I was running this marathon since nine months.