#and been one of the reasons he had to leave in tms 2

[iguessitsjustme]

To My Star - Music

It has been 6 months since @gillianthecat requested a music analysis of To My Star. I said I’d do it in a few weeks and I started it then shit life happened but I wanted to actually do the analysis so here it is…a million years later. I will say this might be a bit disjointed because some of my notes are from 6 months ago and the rest are from the past week so apologies in advance for that. I did want to make this a longer post since it’s been so long since it was requested so I might have gotten a bit carried away.

As always this is my disclaimer that I’m just an idiot with a somewhat decent ear and I enjoy soundtracks. I am wrong sometimes so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Before I get into specifics, my general thoughts are that it’s a fine soundtrack. It’s not my favorite, but it does work very well for the show. It does a good job of keeping the tone that the show is setting. Most of the time the soundtrack helps set the tone of the show, but for To My Star it felt like the actors really set the tone for the show and the music followed. It wasn’t as cohesive as I really like, but it worked well enough that it didn’t stand out as not working. But with that said, I did really enjoy it. Overall it felt like they sampled youtube’s royalty free music catalog except for certain instances, but what they did choose to do actually worked really well but more on that later.

One of the main thingsI noticed when doing my rewatch for this, is that To My Star utilizes silence quite a bit. While there are some instances of music when Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon weren’t around, for the most part, the music only followed their story. Other characters were mostly given silence when they were the focus, which was an interesting choice. It worked for TMS because it wasn’t the only time there was silence. There was always silence during Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s important moments. The music waited until something was said before coming in and joining the scene. So it wasn’t as jarring as it would have been to have silence for the other characters. The silence being used for Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s important moments made it so when it was silent for the other characters, the audience paid attention because their part in the story is also important. TMS is ultimately about Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon but it’s not just their story as they are impacted by the other characters around them.

But as it is Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s story, what were some of their big moments that were impacted by silence? There are a few but I’m only going to talk about what I think is the most important one. At the beginning, Kang Seo Joon hears a crash and has a panic attack as a result (been there my dude, it sucks). There is silence before the crash that leads into the panic attack and there’s silence at the start of the panic attack as well. Then we begin hearing a repetitive, dissonant note during the attack, but it’s backed by calming music that grows louder as Han Ji Woo cares for Kang Seo Joon. This worked almost a little too well for me. I don’t like being reminded of my own panic attacks like that, ya know? But it does a good job of using music to convey what Kang Seo Joon is feeling. We see the panic attack and we can hear it. It’s jarring.

The biggest surprise to me about the soundtrack was realizing that Kang Seo Joon and Han Ji Woo have different genres. Some shows do this and do it really well. A more recent example that I really loved was Never Let Me Go. Both boys had their own distinct genre that had to reconcile with each other when those two were together. That’s probably the one of the easiest shows to watch and pick up on the distinct music for each character. It’s far, far more subtle in TMS, but it’s there.

During the show, Han Ji Woo is a jazzy boy. It’s a smooth jazz, which fits Han Ji Woo’s character very well. He’s soft and subtle and his life should be formulaic and set in routine, but nothing has gone as expected. His routine has been thrown off. He still has his calm, almost stoic exterior, but inside he’s facing turmoil. Kang Seo Joon has come into his life and brought something new and unexpected. He’s facing feelings he wasn’t aware he could still feel and he’s willing to do things he didn’t realize he’s willing to do. Once his turmoil is settled though, he reverts back to what I believe his true genre is: classical. Han Ji Woo is a piano concerto. He’s soft and beautiful and strong. He can get loud and stand up for himself when needed and he can become muted when he’s feeling a little lost. Han Ji Woo settles into his new routine with Kang Seo Joon and he’s no longer a jazzy boy. He’s back to himself as a classical boy. The inner turmoil and struggle Han Ji Woo has felt is made so abundantly clear in this line:

At this moment in the show, Han Ji Woo’s jazz was slowly being taken over by Kang Seo Joon’s music. He was already scared because his genre was off but now even not-his-genre is being overtaken by Kang Seo Joon.

Kang Seo Joon has been consistently coming into Han Ji Woo’s life and overtaking his music. Kang Seo Joon is pop music. He is fun and upbeat. He is the music that so many people in the world listen to. I mean, it’s called pop music for a reason! At first it makes sense that Kang Seo Joon should have the more formulaic music. He seems shallow on the surface, but as always, that’s not the case as he has hidden depth and struggles. A lot of the pop songs that play are in English which was surprising, but they could be a hint at Kang Seo Joon being more than he seems. He’s not just the cookie-cutter celebrity that everyone, including Han Ji Woo, sees him as. He has hopes and fears and he has experienced his fair share of pain. And when he meets and starts falling for Han Ji Woo? Their music starts to blend.

When Han Ji Woo reaches for Kang Seo Joon’s face, about to take an eyelash off, but stops and walks away, leaving them both feeling like something has shifted in that moment, their music combines. It’s both poppy and jazzy. This is the moment that they both start to become aware that there are feelings floating around. 

By the end of the show, Han Ji Woo has embraced his jazziness because he realizes that his life isn’t going to go to routine now that he’s with Kang Seo Joon. When he’s alone, classical music follows him. But when he’s with Kang Seo Joon, he’s back to jazz. And in the very last scene, when those two are in bed and begin making out, the music is pop music but with a little jazz element thrown in. They’ve found their harmony and their balance as their two genres are able to meet to become one.

Here are some other things I noticed but they didn’t make it into the post itself:

-When Han Ji Woo is running to Kang Seo Joon at the end, it’s a pop song playing

-The music in the restaurant is smooth jazz

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Aug 29th

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1. hello! i’ve been looking for a fic that involves an OC (i think?) that acts as a beard for nie huaisang. it was wangxian centric but that’s the main detail i remember. thank you!

FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) has NHS getting himself engaged to a female OC that he has no romantic interest in (& vice versa - she's a lesbian) because she has useful skills

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2. hi! Do you recall a fic where wwx was like an omega courtesan in a school who was bought by lxc for lwj. Mianmian was also there with him too for a bit. I remember a scene where lwj got mad at wwx for wanting to wash him. They fall in love eventually. If you could find this fic I'd be grateful! 🙏

FOUND! Rattling our cages by danegen (E, 69k, wangxian, A/B/O, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, WWX has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, spiders–see the notes, Spanish Translation Available)

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3. Hello! Thank you for all the work that you all do <3

I've been trying to look for a fic for some time now. I think it had wangxian pretty much adopting a little girl. Like the girl is an orphan and just keeps clinging to wx and being super sticky and I think there was a plot in her backstory dealing with resentment. Wwx knew abt it but lwj did not figure it out until later i think. This girl just accompanied them on some nighthunt or smth. The story has the Lan take in orphans due to reasons(tm) and the girl was one of them.

FOUND! the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)

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4. Hi. I have a fic to find. In this fic, instead of Yanli dying at Nightless City, Lan Zhan gets critically injured and it sends Wei Wuxian into a spiral. Lan Xichen is very angry at him and will not let him anywhere near his body.

Thank you for your help.

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YL WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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5. hi this is for fic finder!! i’m looking for a fic where wangxian leave the cultivation world for a while with lan sizhui and only come back accidentally. i’m pretty sure everyone else thinks they’re dead and they might have been residing with baoshan sanren in her mountain. thank you!

FOUND? If It's Too Hard To Forgive by Machevalli (M, 94k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Fluff and Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Mpreg)

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6. Hello! I'm looking for a WangXian fic, they were both dragon shapeshifters, but they met each other in their dragon forms. They both assumed that the other was a regular dragon and both made the decision to commit to the relationship and live out their lives as dragons from now on. I think only when JYL visited and WWX turned human for her, LWJ realized that he was a shifter too. It might have been a twitter thread fic. Thank you so much for your help!!

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7. Looking for an arranged marriage au for wangxian. Yiling laozu wwx, he and lz don't know each other and lz is initially worried cause of wwx reputation. Wwx does the marriage, but doesn't immediately trust lz cause he could be a spy/sent to hurt wwx etc. Specifically there was a scene where people came and attacked wwx's household, I think wwx was away. Everyone hid in the cellars only to realize a-yuan was missing. Lz goes after him and saves a-yuan from being harmed but gets badly hurt.

This leads wwx to realize he can trust lz. Wwx may have taken lz's sword away before the attack cause of a misunderstanding and lz fought to protect everyone any way. And I think another scene lz comes out in his night clothes and yells at a group of cultivators who had come to rescue lz cause they thought something happened to him and lz is like why r yall breaking into my house in the middle of the night and the cultivators (lxc might have been with them) were like this is awkward.

but mebbe I just made it up/misremembered or accidentally combined things?

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post)

FOUND? Caught Between Sun and Shadows by Alliandra (E, 71k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, grapshic depictions of violence, sunshot campaign, arranged marriage, YLLZ WWX, pining, battle husbands, versatile wangxian, falling in love, resentacles, sex pollen, fuck or die, golden core reveal, politics, hurt/comfort) also sounds like

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8. Fic finder? I'm suspecting it has been deleted but I need to try. It's a fanfic where wwx attempts s*ic*de (suicide) and jc finds him in the bathroom. He calls 911, he's hospitalized and all of that. Please help me 🥲🥲

FOUND! 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

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9. a modern AU where LWJ and WWX reconnected at a party when Su She was hitting in LWJ, takes place in grad school and WWX doesn’t know they were dating until the end when they visit LWJ’s uncle’s cottage

thank you so much for your help!! @anonionsodelicious

FOUND? without your new eyes by anaphoricae (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, Sexuality Discovery, Self-Discovery, Literal Sleeping Together, (there is so much sleeping in this fic), mentions of WWX/others and LWJ/others, Drunk LWJ, Teacher LWJ, WWX is a… throws dart… computer scientist, No Angst, Jealous WWX, Flirty WWX, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, WWX’s Love Language is Physical Touch, Guess what: even more non-sexual sleeping together, the plot of the fic is just… co-sleeping, call it the Nap Fic ™, Podfic Available, WWX isn’t so much 'oblivious’ as he is wilfully blocking some feelings subconsciously, WWX 'idk how I feel’ to 'I’m gonna marry him’ pipeline)

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10. Hi im looking for a specific fic. The fic was on ao3 and was a modern au where Wei Ying realizes he might be a bit gay and kisses lan zhan but then freaks out, and they get a bit awkward. He then goes on to forums to see what others might think of his situation, he tries watching gay porn etc. and finds that he's dreaming of lan zhan. He ends up being jumped by homophobes goes on a drinking binge for the next few days as a result and hears that lan zhan has been staying in his room and hasn't been doing well, wei ying thinks it's because he kissed him but later finds out he sent lan zhan a homophobic message when drunk. Any help would be appreciated!!! @livesformitski

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11. Hello! I was hoping you can help me track this fic down!

In the fic Lan Zhan finds out about Wei Yings golden core and he schemes to get it back with Wen Qing no matter what. I think it was a dark lan Zhan fic?

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12. For FF, I am once again asking for wlw wangxian fics. There’s a specific one I can’t seem to find, wherein Lwj and wwx are roommates, and wwx is planning on moving out to mm’s bc she constantly hears lwj hooking up in her room, but there’s an issue at the new place or something so she keeps putting off moving out until eventually she’s convinced to stay when they get together

I’ve tried digging through tags but it’s giving me issues, I would appreciate you forever if you find it🙏🙏🙏

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13. Hi I'm looking for this wangxian fic but can't find it anywhere, I don't remember a lot but all I remember is lan wangji getting his lashes punishment and wei wuxian (who is alive) turning up getting angry and destroying all the clans. Yanli (also alive) - and I think zixuan- was like ' well what do you all expect, you've all brought this on yourselves'

Sorry I can't remember much else,

Thank you ☺️ @haseenaay99

FOUND? An arrow to the heart by IsilmeLasgalen (T, 47k, WangXian, SongXiao, XuanLi, ZhuiYi, LQY/NMJ, XiSang, A-qing/OYZZ, BSSR/LY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, YLLZ WWX, WWX Lives, BAMF JYL, Protective WWX, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Married WangXian Have Children, JGS "falls" down the stairs, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, Protective WN, Implied/Referenced Abuse, POV Multiple, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Cultivation Sect Politics)

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14. I'm looking for a Modern AU crack-fic-ish from Jiang Cheng's POV (I think?) where Wei Ying seems obliviously in a relationship, and later married, to Lan Zhan. It's also implied that maybe they're just trolling Jiang Cheng. @hiperfyxation

FOUND? Six in one hand by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Crack Treated Seriously, Compulsory Heterosexuality, POV JC)

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15. Hi i need help looking for a fic. I don’t remember much but it was a sort of time travel fic where wei wuxian goes back in time. I think there was a scene during the sun shot campaign where wangxian confess? I remember lan wangji being jealous of his future/ alternate self who is wwx’s husband

I’m so sorry I don’t remember more but please help me find this fic 🥹

FOUND! 🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) i think its - chapter 26

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16. Hi, this is for a fic finder. I’m looking for a fic where WWX is a Wen. When Lans were attacked, LWJ, LSJ and LJY were taken to Qishan but were taken under WWX’s wings and they were taken care of. It was lan sect bashing and LQR bashing. LWJ did not return to Lans. I just remember that towards the end of the fic, there was a scene where WWX asked his spies from each sect to come out and MXY came out from Jiang, XY came out from Nie and MY was from Jin. I thought I’ve bookmarked it but could find it. I also have checked Wen WWX compilations and War Prize LWZ compilations. Did not find in either list. I’d appreciate if anyone know the name! Thank you!

FOUND? To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, POV LWJ, Good Parent LWJ, Marriage of Convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, CSSR and WCZ Live BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, POV NHS, Protective LJY, Good Person WRH, Protective LXC, Immortal LWJ and WWX, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian in Love, Soft WangXian, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, POV JZX, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent)

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17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic where lej continuously aaja to play cleansing fir wwc but he keeps reusing cuz resentful energy is the only thing holding his body together but the eventually agrees and then almost dies but wen qung is there and then the course reveal happens and it angsty and wwc thinks lans wouldn't have cared if he told them cheating him if resentment could possibly kill him, thanku!

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

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18. Hello, this is a fic finder ask:

I’m not sure of the entire plot the the fic but I remember Meng Yao getting caught and being slapped by SiSi in front of the other sect leaders because of what he tried to do knowing his mom’s upbringing. He tries to play it off but he gets imprisoned in a Lanling Tower and isn’t allowed to use anything with strings because of what he did to Nie Mingjue.

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post) I think #18 is - chapter 30. But its only has the slapping part

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19. hi, I have a finder fic ask, well two actually:

A. jin guangshan tries to assault yanli but he is stopped but there’s a plot twist because yanli knew it would happen because jin guangshan has a special garden when he does that to people and she is maybe a time traveler so she sets him up to be caught

B. WWX has died and there’s a celebration happening and there’s this special guest that will be there, possibly called The Painter, and when they get there the guest actually sings the story of how the different sects are hypocrites and the guest curses all of them except Lan Wangji and when the guest goes to leave, they lift up their veil and reveal themselves to be baoshan sanren.

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20. Hi!!! I hope you're doing well. Please help me find this fic. It's a modern setting one, where I think WWX is sending LWJ suggestive pictures and videos of himself, and LWJ just doesn't know who it is. I think WWX is some kind of IT or something. I came across this fic on Twitter/X in a promotional of the AO3 fic, but I can't find it anymore. I forgot the parts of the fic but I know there's pictures and chat logs inserted in the fic. Please help me and thank you so much!!!

FOUND? might be this thread (unrolled because I don't have twitter)

also on ao3 its called + xx xxx xxx xxxx by 3neetee (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern, Shameless Smut, PWP, Dom/sub, Stalker WWX, Manipulative LWJ, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Rimming, Spanking, Spit Kink, Under-negotiated Kink, Identity Porn, Explicit/NSFW Pictures, Twitter threadfic, Semi-Public Sex, freak4freak wangxian)

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[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.

Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 -  Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!

Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.

Argh this show is great!

Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV. 

Speaking of...

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version). 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice. 

Final thoughts:

This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10 

That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.

This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.

Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.  

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.

In conclusion:

A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.

In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character. 

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.

Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Next Week Looks Like This

Still coming:

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

He so pretty.

I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)

Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)

I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)

(Last week)

[rayshippouuchiha]

Ray Ray, darling Void. I need to impart to you the AU that has been eating my brain for months:

Casually Magical Stark Industries.

Just, sure, there's the Statute of Secrecy, and most creatures have their own rules about "don't tell the normies" but it's an open secret in SI and a good chunk of their behavior policies revolve around keeping accidental harassment to various creatures at a minimum (and getting the targeted harassment destroyed with prejudice. Let's just say that leaving a silver crucifix in any of the common areas, and especially in front of the fridge, is grounds for immediate termination... of employment.)

Like, I imagine it starts with Tony, who has known that magic is real his whole life. He believed as a little kid believes, but (and I will take this headcanon to my grave) Howard had to bring him on one of his Cap Finding Expeditions for Reasons(tm) and during that time Tony and some of the workers met Santa. And once you've met literal, actual Santa Claus, there's no room for disbelief. So, once he takes over SI and sees all of the magic going on, he goes to legal to get some protections put on the books; and legal, most of whom are fae, look at this normal ass human (normal as in not magical, ofc) who is Supremely Unbothered by the supernatural presence in the company and actually seems to want to protect and... encourage it? Well, he has accidentally won the undying loyalty of a very small, but quickly expanding, Court.

Also, lets be real, Tony grew up a disgustingly wealthy genius. He has Zero concept of what is normal for people. He can build a circuit board at age 4 and an engine at 8, other people can teleport or turn into wolves, it's all on the same level to him.

Suddenly, there are two orientations: one for "this is your new job" and one for either "so, this is how you avoid getting cursed by legal/eaten by accounting, yes those are literal" or "welcome to SI, yes, we know you're magical" depending. SI eventually becomes the go to place for non-baseline human people to get a job and just an unintentional magical hub. A good 2/3rds of the entire company is some flavor of non-baseline and it works because the board and most of the baselines in upper management are too disconnected to realize that their employees are magic, or everyone has silently agreed that There's Nothing To See Here.

Tony doesn't know magic is supposed to be secret, he just thinks some people are more shy about their natures than others. Legal and PR (filled mostly with various types of demons/fiends) have a long running bet for when he'll finally get clued in (they, of course, being bound by the Rules, not to inform him themselves.) He manages to keep magic a secret completely on accident, by not realizing there's a secret at all.

I love everything about this

[marvelstars]

Anakin´s fall

I have been thinking how, for Anakin, being separated from his mother was the beggining of his fall to the darkside, while of course slavery played a big part of it because this suffering marked Anakin from a young age and forced him to lose part of his innocense, he still had his Mom and his friends on Tatooine, those two reasons made up a little bit for the fact he was a slave, he may have been one but he was still a person and his name was Anakin.

But between the separation from his mother, leaving her a slave and the separation from his friends while being send to a completely different culture and what it meant to him living in a context in which nobody remembered their birth family or their mother, Anakin was worried about his mother´s well being, he missed her but he could not talk to anyone about this, not even his master, because it could be taken to mean he was attached and so, not a good Jedi tm but also because even if they were sympathetic to his situation, they could not truly understand how much this was affecting him, this was one of the reasons why he was not going to be accepted at first by the Jedi Council or Yoda but even when Yoda changed his oppinion at Obi-Wan´s insistence, there wasn´t really an effort to accomodate Anakin´s need to know his mother was safe and free from slavery.

This also generated guilt, because Anakin felt like he abandoned his mother to a terrible fate without any way to communicate with her or try to help her in her situation.

Another big factor of his isolation inside the Jedi Order was Obi-Wan obedience to the council, Anakin was painfully aware he was only accepted because Obi-Wan promised the Council to train him as Qui-Gon´s last wish but also because he was the "chosen one" even if nobody knew what that meant and with the resurgence of the sith, someone who could be useful for his force habilities, so from the beggining his stay in the Jedi Order is conditional to:

1.- Him being perceived as a "good jedi"

2.- Someone "useful"

Any moment he showed signs of not being a "Good Jedi tm" be it because he missed his mother or because he got angry when other padawans called him a slave, he could not even defend himself because he is supposed to be in the "wrong", his master always takes the council side when he is "wrong" he had not confidants or people who at least tried to see his pov because for the Jedi, especially the Jedi Council, there has always been something wrong with Anakin and it´s Anakin the one who has to make adecuations to become a "good jedi tm", he was bassically the odd one out in his community with nobody to trust his feelings to inside the Jedi Order.

So of course, it wasn´t surprising Anakin accepted Palpatine´s offer to be his "confidant, father figure, fun uncle" because at least with him he could talk about his feelings, about his Mom, about Tatooine as he did with his mother and friends back home and this would have been ok if Palpatine have been someone like Bail or Padme someone interested in his well being or at least turstworthy who cared about him for himself, too bad for Anakin it was Sidious, master of the Sith order, who saw him as something that belonged to him the one who listened to him all those lonely years living in the Jedi Order.

Anakin´s fall to the darkside a tragedy in three acts and his mother´s separation and death were a big component of it.

This is why I believe while Anakin had great habilities, a big heart and already big cualities to become a great Jedi, his particular circunstances didn´t allow him to develop in a healthy way in the Jedi Order the way it was estructured in his time, in fact it had the opposite effect, for Anakin living in the Jedi Order meant becoming bitter, lonely, afraid of losing people dear to him, instead of being the sociable, happy, optimistic and active child we meet in TPM and it would have made him a world of good to be raised with his mother or with an adopted family while knowing his mother was safe, away from Palpatine´s influence and with people who understood him for who he was, people he could trust with all his being, this was also why he married Padme and why FAMILY has always been central to Anakin´s character, it´s such a strong force inside him that he tried to make his own despite being a Jedi.

[lemon-russ]

here's your smut you filthy animals /s (like i wasn't the one specifically writing this for that exact purpose), Finally put these nerds in a Situation (tm)

I make you read for it though. bone apple teeth.

Part 4/ ???

part:: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7

Cato Sicarius x F!Reader

CW: Rough angry sex, Cato being an emotionally constipated bully, mild descriptions of violence and injuries

Summary: Cato discovers a new emotion. it's horny! he's mad about it.

word count: 2,325 (I wrote this the same day as part 3, my boyfriend keeps being like 'Why Cato though??', the fool. he cannot understand the fleas.)

You decide that you must have angered the God Emperor of mankind. Maybe you used his name as a curse one too many times. Maybe he was upset with you because you failed his son Lord Guilliman in this mission. Either way, you certainly were being punished.

You lay on your back, staring at the rock ceiling above you, in the dust and dirt, drenched in other people's blood, in a once pretty gown now torn to the knees. And Cato was just sitting there, smiling for some reason.

“My neck feels fine.” you mumble. He has been actually quite concerned with you having some sort of spinal injury from the thunderhawk crash. You didn't want to think about why that made your stomach flutter a little. You did not want to have positive feelings about this ass hat of a man who got you into this whole mess in the first place.

Cato glances over at you, pursing his lips into a line. “Hmph. fine, let me look you over first though.” He says gruffly, scooting to lean over you. Blood rushes to your face as he gets a bit close, touching your neck and carefully moving your head. Your mind flashes with the image of him over you protecting you from the shots of the rebel guards, and then again of him shielding you during the crash. “You're okay- I got you”- Even through the speakers of his helmet, him saying that did something to you you did not want to unpack, especially not while he currently was gently inspecting your neck and shoulders, inches from your face.

He grunts. “I guess you seem okay, from what I can tell, but if you feel weird or you have random nerve pains, tell me- why do you look like that?” He says, sitting up and frowning in confusion at you. You frown back and sit up, “Look like what?” You force out, clearing your throat and trying to cool off. He narrows his eyes. “You were all pale, now you're all flushed.” he says, almost seeming suspicious.

He looks you up and down, eyeing your bruises and scrapes. “You should still lay down. And tell me if you're dizzy or something. You might have internal injuries and I can't know.” He says with an annoyed sigh. You knit your brow at his tone. “Are you... mad at me...?” You ask incredulously. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. How come you're so breakable? If you'd have worn some sort of armor, I wouldn't need to think about any of this. You are a being a huge pain in my ass.” He says exasperatedly.

You shake your head in disbelief. “I'm sorry that I'm not a superhuman mutant soldier like you?” You say annoyed. He huffs. “You could at least make my job easier and try a little harder not to die.” He stands and walks to the entrance of the cave, and if you didn't know better you'd call it sulking, the way he was sitting there with his arms crossed. By the throne he is insufferable.

You sigh and start gathering up some brush and leaves, then use it as a pillow so you can lay on your side facing away from him. “You are impossible.” You mumble. “I've done nothing to you, but you hate me for things I can't control.” You continue, crossing your arms and curling up a bit. He groaned. “You're the reason I had to even come here, I should be fighting on front lines right now, taking down Guilliman's enemies- but no, I'm babysitting you” He said, raising his voice a little.

You've just about had it with this rude, cocky, useless man child of an Astartes. You sit up and turn to him, matching his tone and volume “Then just go!” You snap. “I'd probably have better odds without you running in head first and fucking things up anyway! Go, call the ship and go home.”

His face contorts. “You'd die without me and you know it-” he growls, voice lower.

“Like you'd care if I did, you just don't want to get in trouble-” You yell, raising your voice more as you reach the end of your patience.

“That's not true!” He retorts, outright glaring at you now.

You glower back. “Of course it is- you don't care if I live or die! You just care about how it looks if you fail your mission!”

He growls through grit teeth, “That's not- I do care!” He yells, standing and glaring down at you. “I don't want you to die here, even if you are doing your damnedest to make sure this shithole rock is your grave!”

You flinch back at his shouting and towering over you. But you narrow your eyes at him anyway. “Bullshit.” you say in a low voice. “You don't care about anyone but you, Cato.”

He looks like it's taking everything to hold back his temper from actually losing his control. “I do care about you, you stupid, breakable, insufferable woman!” He shouted now. “I don't know why, especially because you're being a huge fucking pain in the ass right now, but I feel sick thinking about leaving you here to die, and I hate seeing you all beat up like this, and by the golden throne I can't get the image of you getting kicked by that pompous asshole out of my head-” He audibly snaps his mouth shut, gritting his teeth again and looking away.

You stare at him, shocked, mouth hanging open a little. Holy shit. You did not know how to process this. You really thought he didn't care if you lived or died, but... was all that protective stuff just him? Not just him doing his forced duty to protect you? You feel color creep up your cheeks.

He frowns at you. “No, stop that- don't give me that look. It's not like that.” He says in an exasperated, almost frantic tone.

You knit your brow and flatten your mouth to a line. “It kinda sounds like it's like that-”

“No, it's not” He raised his voice again, “That's baseline human nonsense, I'm evolved higher than- than that” He says, looking disgusted. “If anything you're like an especially pathetic stray dog. I pity you, more than anything, really.” He grumbles, fists tight at his side as he turns around to look out of the cave again.

You scowl. “Seriously? A stray dog?” you snap, flushing again. Stupid, why would you think he actually cared any amount-

He growls in frustration, “Emperor damn you, that’s not what I-” He lets out a frustrated noise, stomping up to you and pulling you to your feet, holding you by the shoulders. “Do you exist purely to infuriate me, woman?! We’re you created as a personal demon for me specifically?!” He snarls, teeth gritted and face holding back rage.

You scowl up at him still, “Funny, I was just asking myself what I did to upset the Emperor enough to be cursed to be stuck with you-!” You snap back, frustration at it’s peak.

He snarls, “Warp take you, you stupid, vapid, useless-” he snaps his mouth closed and grimaces, then does the last thing you expect. He pulls you off the ground by your shoulders and smashes his mouth to yours in what might be the worst, roughest kiss you ever have experienced. Your eyes widened and for a split second you could only freeze, stunned, but that quickly gave way to you melting in his hands, kissing him back.

Your back smacks against the stone wall of the cave- your head cushioned by Cato’s hand- and you can barely keep up with the sudden shift. You’re still so mad but for some reason it feel like the only thing you can do to stop being angry is fuck this stupid asshole until your mind goes blank. This stupid, hot, protective-

You gasp a bit as you hear the sound of plates hitting stone as Cato discards the more in the way pieces, mouth still holding yours hostage in an angry, needy kiss. He breaks away with a gasp just a second to growl at you, “Strip-” before capturing your lips again. You groan involuntarily, a shiver running right through you. You break and gasp in air, then frown. “Cato-” you say with a touch of exasperation. He frowns and glances down, realizing he has you completely pinned to the wall, preventing you from undressing. He grumbles, “Useless woman, I have to always do everything for you-” He huffed angrily.

His hand- now free of it’s gauntlets for your safety- snakes up your thigh and under your dress, finding the edge of your panties and swiftly ripping them off. Actually ripping them. “Damn it Cato-” you snap in annoyance as he inspects the remains of your lacey underwear. He chuckles at your annoyed scowl, tossing the scraps aside. “By the Throne, that angry face- like a petulant kitten” he rumbles a heady chuckle as he hooks your leg over his arm. You blush and gasp, torn between angry and being putty in his hands. “It makes me want to torture you more just so you keep making that pouting face-” He smirked, eyeing you like prey. You frown, biting your lip. “Insufferable ass” you mumble as you grab his face in your hands and kiss him hard again- properly this time, stupid marine doesn’t even know how to kiss.

He growls into your mouth, mimicking how you push your tongue behind his teeth. At least he’s a quick learner. You shiver again as you feel his other hand slip between your thighs, and groan into the kiss as he roughly runs his massive finger between your lips. He breaks the kiss again, grinning smugly at you. “Already so wet? If you had a crush on me, you could have just admitted it” he teases, making you somehow more annoyed and more horny. You catch his mouth again, taking your anger out on his tongue, and he groans and shifts your weight.

You feel something massive pressing against your entrance, and freeze. Holy throne, that can’t possibly- you gasp and see stars as he immediately hilts into you, grasping at his shoulders for anything to ground you. You can only make a strangled moan as he stretches you, gritting against the pain and pleasure. He actually frowns a bit, scrunching his brow. “Oh, uh, too fast…?” he asks sincerely. By the golden throne you are going to strangle this stupid man. “Yeah-” you groan out, and he sighs and holds still, letting you adjust. “Seriously? Is every part of you so weak and breakable?” he says like it’s the biggest inconvenience in the world to not actually impale you.

You scowl at him, but it doesn’t have the same bite when you’re shuddering around him, dripping and panting and by the throne he was so hard- you inadvertently moan and shiver, and he takes that as good enough to start bucking up into you. “F-finally-” he grunts, but again, the bite was softened by his shuddering gasps. “throne you’re tight-” He groans, curling around you and bracing his elbow against the wall by your head, his own head resting on your shoulder as he bounces you.

Your mind starts to go blank, all you can feel is him stretching you around him over and over, all you can hear is your mixed panting and moaning and the wet slapping of his hips meeting yours. He picks up the pace and inhales a sharp breath through his teeth, “Fuck-” he gasps, lips attacking your neck. In between giving you hickies- damn it Cato, you have shit to do and now you’re going to have to cover those- he starts panting your name in a gravely, heady voice, which wipes out your complaints immediately. You gasp his name in return, desperately rocking your hips against his thrusts as you feel your body start to coil with heat and flutter around him. “C-Cato-” you groan, “I’m close-”

He growls at that, and straight up bites your shoulder, making you moan and shiver. “F-Finally-” he growls, “You take so f-fucking long-” he grunts, a hand slipping between your legs and finding your clit roughly- albeit with a lot of fumbling and cursing on his part, he had to actually look down to get there- but he smashes his thumb in rough circles on it, making you cry out and see stars. You don’t even have the wherewithal to be annoyed with him leaving more marks on you.

He rumbles against your neck as he bites and sucks up and down it, “Come.” he demands, “Come for me, I got you- let go-” he growls between love bites. You’re almost mad at yourself that you comply, not logically liking being ordered around but when he says I got you like that you melt anyways. Your mind goes blank and it’s all you can do to just hold onto him as you come, soaking him and shaking, hands desperately grasping at the back of his armor. “Cato- Cato-” you gasp weakly.

He growls again and slams into you faster, and in the back of your sex drunk mind you dread how you’re going to feel tomorrow. He grunts your name, then catches your lips in a kiss again, shoving his tongue into your mouth as he moans and hilts into you- well, as much as actually fits- and you moan with him as he thrusts a couple more times, hard, and feel him come in you in a few jerking motions. He nearly drops you, breaking the kiss to lean his head back, groaning, then stumbles back against the wall, trying to catch his breath. You try and catch yours too, mind hazy and body weak.

Cato chuckles a little, smiling down at you. “Mmf… Guess your squishy, weak body is useful for something after all.” he grumbles breathlessly.

By the holy golden throne of the Emperor, you are going to kill this man.

[kanonavi]

hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

[hkkingofshades]

Tumblr's new policy, and updates going forward

Yeah, I bet we all saw this coming, huh.

So, given tungl dot hell(tm)'s new deal with midjourney, I think pretty much all artists on tumblr are, well, not having a great time. Like deviantart, tumblr has provided a way to opt out from having your blog content scraped, but like deviantart, it's a little unclear what has already been shared before the opt-out went into place, and how much they'll actually work to stop machine trawlers from trawling opted-out blogs.

I'll put the tl;dr up front:

King of Shades will not be leaving Tumblr, but due to the new policy, I won't be posting full pages here anymore.

There's no point in taking down all the pages I've already posted. Deleting them from my page won't delete subsequent reblogs, and there's a pretty high chance that tumblr has already scraped them. (haveibeentrained.com seems to think I haven't been yet, at least. I don't think I really have a big enough following for that to happen, although I don't want to jinx it...) But I certainly won't be posting the full-size pages here anymore.

Instead, I think I'll go the Trying Human route and post a little preview of the update (possibly heavily watermarked; my computer can't run glaze/nightshade, unfortunately), so you guys will still get notifications, but you'll have to visit the ComicFury main website in order to read it. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience (although I will say that I think it's a much better reading experience over there)!

Speaking of which:

I have never and will never ask for any kind of compensation (other than your wonderful feedback, which I've just been absolutely blown away by) for doing this. Even putting legality aside, that's not why I'm here! However, if you've enjoyed this comic, ever thought that you might be willing to tip me on ko-fi if I had one, or even just want to continue having an internet that isn't entirely a corporate wasteland, I ask that you consider donating to ComicFury instead.

ComicFury is a relic of the old, good internet: it's been around for at least 15 years, and it's all hosted and managed by one guy (Kyo). Aside from his team of volunteer moderators, everything on this website is done by one person with a passion for supporting artists. I've chatted with him a little, and he's a great dude! Most of his operating costs are paid for out of pocket, and the site is currently hurting a little bit because it doesn't run ads, it doesn't have subscriptions or paywalled content, it doesn't have any corporate interference or monetization of any kind outside of his Patreon. And—perhaps most relevantly for this post:

I will cut right to the chase, we have decided not to allow AI-art based webcomics on the site. [...] As for our reasoning, there are obviously ethical concerns regarding the source images of most commonly used AI image generators (namely them just being scraped off the internet without anyones permission). But even beyond that, another concern is that due to the extremely low effort involved, webcomics of this nature could just over time completely drown out in numbers art by passionate people who put a lot of time into it , which would be a real shame. So we asked ourselves what would be better for the community, and we agreed that banning it would probably be the better thing overall.

—Kyo has been quite firm that he will not allow AI art to be posted to or scraped from any ComicFury domain. While this isn't a protection against huge web trawls or people putting someone's art in individually—there's not a lot anyone can do about that yet, even with tools like glaze and nightshade—it's a little peace of mind that the art posted there won't abruptly be sold en masse to the highest bidder.

The Patreon starts at $2/month, and Kyo has said that he doesn't mind people pledging for a short time and then dipping if they can't afford an ongoing subscription. If and only if this is something you can afford, and you want to continue seeing independent webcomics including King of Shades, please consider donating!

The Patreon is here. There's not much in the way of reward tiers, especially if you're not a member, but I posit that the real reward is being able to read free webcomics done by real humans as labors of love, without being advertised to or sold as the product. And also maybe the friends we made along the way. Or something.

Once again, there is no pressure, and no shame if you're not willing or able to give money. But if you've ever thought you might be willing to tip me for what I do, consider passing it along to the guy who makes it possible instead.

Thank you for your time!

P.S. Page 64 is coming, I promise! Recent developments kind of kneecapped my motivation for making online art 🙃

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 21

welcome to the twenty-first fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Most Artists are Messy by @shipsgalore

Lance is drawing a complicated flower on the base of Keith’s wrist and it makes his lips pull up into a smile despite the panic. They’re always flowers when it comes to Lance. He uses them in everything he does, and usually doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Keith can count on one hand how many times the doodles on his arms haven’t been of flowers.

i love this one because keith & lance are just blatantly and clearly autistic. it’s wonderful. it’s sweet and fluffy and it’s a modern au, which as y’all know is my jam, and the last few paragraphs do this specific thing with sentiment repetition that genuinely gets to me every time

2. Be Alive With Me Tonight by @caesaria [EXPLICIT] [ABO]

When the Blade of Marmora requests assistance on an information gathering mission, Lance and Keith go undercover as a bonded alpha and omega pair. At first, it seems like this is going to be more like a vacation than a mission – right up until everything falls apart and they realize how unprepared they really are. Now, Lance and Keith have to fight to not only survive, but to make it out together. They’ll have to rely not only on their skills as Paladin, but the bond they’ve created and nurtured between them.

okay i gave this one the explicit warning bc there are chapters that are explicit, but tbh the scenes are skippable if that’s not ur thing. now this fic is an EPIC. truly. its a quarter million words and the plot is breathtaking, the worldbuilding is iconic and the romance is like HOLY SHIT. this is a novel, and better yet its a KLANCE novel, so. highly recommend if you have a day or two to read.

3. roses by @renyoi

Lance is always getting flowers for Keith, so Keith decides to return the favor--with a little help, of course.

written for prompt #4 of klance valentine's week!

keith is hilarious here. just in general but here especially and i love him. he wants to pamper lance so so badly and hes so straightforward and earnest!! and allura’s character in here is also excellent. i will leave u with this one line from the fic that made me laugh it loud: “ The next day, the sun rises to Keith Kogane, dressed all in black (that’s all that was clean, okay?!), loitering around in front of Alluring Blossom, the 5-star-rated “I’ve never had such a delightful bouquet delivered to me in my entire life!” flower shop of a woman named Allura Altea. Keith automatically trusted her because he loves people that also have alliteration in their names. “ king. love him

4. here it comes by rideahorse

Keith watched a lonely droplet of water fall from Lance’s soaked bangs, curving a path over the bridge of his nose and then pooling—almost teasingly so—at the bow of his lips.

“I feel like I won, for some reason,” Lance said quietly.

what have i told yall about fics from 2016!!! this fic made me SMILE and im not usually a fan of like senior year of high school fics but holy shit!! holy SHIT!! this fic had me smiling and kicking my feet and losing my mind. i will leave u with the note i put on my bookmark (spoiler warning):

a couple things: 1. “lance is a bad influence” and “lance is a pretty princess (tm)” are god tier tags so thanks for that 2. keith with a tongue piercing. must i say more. 3. i miss keith gyeong that was an excellent era 4. the couple tattoo moment had me taking a Moment 5. here’s how i imagine the aftermath of this: shiro: i saw u ditched prom. are you okay? keith: yeah actually! lance convinced me that we have to have a wild final night, so we went to a High School Party (tm), i decked a guy for lance and your honour, we panic drove away, went skinny dipping in a pool, got caught, ran away naked for two blocks, went to sonic in another town, got matching tattoos, fucked in the backseat of my car, and watched the sunrise :)) shiro: shiro: shiro: shiro: i’m sorry. what were those last parts keith: yeah i know you really like sunrises we probably should have invited you :// but it was kind of an us thing i’m sure you understand :) shiro: KEITH

anyways i laughed

5. if silence was a song by @angstinspace

“It’s … Your show is on so late at night,” Keith tries to explain, as if Lance didn’t know this already. “I guess I was just wondering why that is.”

A crackling silence answers him, and Keith’s stomach sinks. Did Lance hang up? Keith can’t exactly blame him.

But then he hears Lance make a noise––a short huff of breath that might have been either an impatient sigh or a quiet laugh … Keith has no clue.

“That’s the reason you’re calling? To complain about my time slot?”

or, Keith starts anonymously calling Lance's college radio show and develops an unexpected crush.

@catnippackets did a comic of this i believe, and it literally never leaves my head. yall know the trope where one person gets a phone call and halfway through they sigh wistfully and say “god i wish you were here” and then the other person smiles so viscerally it can be felt through the phone and they say “look behind you” and theyre THERE?????? that makes me lose it every time. i love this fic

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!    

[mutable-manifestation]

"So he pasted on a stoic expression and gave a simple "No.""

Here's where we differentiated because I shifted to Damian's POV and kinda forced the matter. So we could Get Damian's perspective on Danny's cover." After that was the stuff I couldn't figure out because of this spot right here! Danny's answer had to be "no" the misunderstanding doesn't sink as well if it doesn't.

The memory of tests, the pre-established no-codewords *chef's kiss* because it is always going to be safer for Danny to make contact in some other way. With invisibility and intangiblity even more so.

Closing the box cutter like that, perfect. Danny knows better than to attempt to rival Damian, especially when he's under the assumption that Damian is still acting heir. Oof I can't think of any reason getting called back wouldn't spell trouble.

I love the slight implication with the evil billionaires list and tuckers unspoken question, to me it reads like Lex has also tried to clone Phantom. Which I don't think was intended but, it tracks! He totally would!

Tim's questions, Danny looking to Damian for orders. Yes. Just yes, perfection, right there in front of my face but the question didn't even occur to me. Wonderful.

Everything that follows, YOUR TAGS they look like my notes we were on the same wavelength I swear!

Do you have plans to keep going with this? Can we collab if you do?

See I couldn't bring myself to use the Damian POV because in my mind his internal dialogue would just be. Static.

Like, yes, he's a highly trained assassin. And idk too much about batman timeline but I've seen stuff about how he's had character growth and gotten better about things over time. If he came to them at 10 and he's 16 now, that's 6 years for his personal growth. Learning to care about people again.

But outside of missions the batfam are all hot garbage and personal interaction, and I imagine Damian's had enough growth by this point to get to the "people matter to me as more than murder tools/mission tolls" idea, but without any of the understanding of how to deal without a given context.

And with Danny, the context has always been "avoid/ignore."

Danny isn't a classmate. He isn't one of his adopted brothers that he has learned how to squabble/get along with over time. And, most of all, whatever Danny might believe, he is not a League member. Which leaves Damian with no framework for how to deal with him.

Damian had/has a hard enough time getting over his League training, how does he help Danny get over his? Especially when 10 years of it would have been training he did to himself.

How does he interact with someone he was raised to hold at arms-length^2?

So I figured doing his POV would be too difficult because I couldn't think of much beyond static, panicked rambling, and several mock-conversations on how to break it to Danny that the League is gone without him going off on a suicide mission against the coup-people.

Which is kind of a shame, because you could fit a lot of angst in ala grief for Danny's seemingly emotionless state and guilt for forgetting him (which, not Damian's fault the League just sucks, but people don't stop blaming themselves for things just because they know they don't need to. Emotions be cray).

"Oof I can't think of any reason getting called back wouldn't spell trouble"

idk why but this made me think of an AU version where Damian intercepted the letter but the League actually was calling Danny back at the time (no coup), so they try to find him in Nanda Parbat only to find the (fake) dead body to the resulting tune of: Batfam Grief Rampage Time (TM). Except the League called him back because they found out what he was leaving out of his reports (about the portal & tech, not about him being a halfa) so when the batfam go to Amity to talk to the Fenton's about their "dead" son Amity is walled off w/an anti-liminal shield & armed to the teeth waiting for assassins (bc u know the whole town is in danger of being conscripted after bathing in portal radiation for so long. Call that "League of Assassins Park" at that point - sans the whole cult aspect. Unless u count the Phantom Phans).

"I love the slight implication with the evil billionaires list and tuckers unspoken question, to me it reads like Lex has also tried to clone Phantom. Which I don't think was intended but, it tracks! He totally would!"

You know that really wasn't the implication I was going for, but I could totally see Lex trying to clone Phantom. Maybe he heard about the whole overshadowing thing and was like "yo loyal clone to control the actual superman is way better than a second superman that could (did) go rogue! And this one can even be a (former) human!!!"

"Tim's questions, Danny looking to Damian for orders. Yes. Just yes, perfection, right there in front of my face but the question didn't even occur to me. Wonderful."

Am basking in the positive feedback like a lizard in the sun thanks ☀️🦎🥰 

"Do you have plans to keep going with this? Can we collab if you do?"

I thought about making a follow-up, but the stuff others tagged on kinda satisfied the brain itch for me.

But! I could totally see this turning into a fully fleshed-out fic, and I think I'd enjoy writing for it, so if you want to make it happen I'd be happy to collab :)

[good7luck]

My quick ramblings about VNC manga chapter 62 part 1

(more under the cut)

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Time flied again, and now ch 62 part 2 is coming or already out XD so I'm roughly writing some bits at least asdfg

.

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I wrote some depressing prediction for this chapter, and I'm glad things didn't go that (physically violent) way, especially for Noe :) Vani stood up (as he should, cuz he is part of the cause) and "solved" the problem...by being verbally violent asdfg Anyway, I still feel something similar to that might happen at some point, though ^^;

I'm anxious about Johann for several reasons, but for now...I feel so sorry for him that he had to perform that much to "smoothly" solve(TM) the uncomfortable situation and protect his family ;_; I just...don't know what (proper words) to say, and I hate it :(

I'm happy to be quite right about Riche X) It's a huuuge shame that the anime completely cut out her cute interaction with Noe in the Catacombs :/ It wouldn't have taken too many minutes ://

.

a little or a lot negative from here, with some potentially triggering words

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Apparently...some people think it's a bad / problematic writing decision that "white" Vani enlightens "black" Noe about "racism" towards Dham...as if the narrative / context was meant to mock Noe or such?? Also, as if similar situations (not just about racism) never happen in real life?? Honestly, they seem to be the ones who are somehow obsessed with the skin color tone of fictional characters the most lol

Like...did Vani have to leave Noe ignorant as he was, then? Was there any other "better" person (ex. "black" Dham) to explain "better" at the moment?? It doesn't even look like what Vani said was particularly wrong, either - especially compared to the situation when Luca "explained" to Vani/Noe what the Book of Vanitas does(TM), and then Vani got annoyed and tried to fix his (Luca's) wrong idea/info (not to mention Blue Moon clan is a discriminated minority as well).

For some imaginary example in regards to real life - it's said 99% of people are allosexual and only 1% are asexual in the world. It may happen that some asexual person never realized oneself being asexual and suffered from it for so long alone, and some allosexual person who happened to know a lot could notice what's going on and introduce "asexual" to the asexual person in a sincerely kind / helpful manner, "saving / freeing" the one, even.

Isn't it a good thing to learn about something "new" that is necessary "in any way (not offensive!!)", rather than staying behind and unintentionally repeating the same negative situation, if not causing worse things? Not everyone is lucky to get to know something or everything "naturally" or "normally" by a specific "proper" age.

Besides, Noe is understandably ignorant (like us readers / audiences) in canon from the beginning, with all his unfortunate, traumatic, and isolated childhood backstories and extremely limited interactions with other people... Noe's such huge, naive ignorance indirectly tells something about the "Teacher" Shapeless One as well! which is quite subtle from MJ-sensei XD

IDK now I'm curious if they called it a bad writing, too (and called MJ-sensei racist), when "black" Noe turned out to have been treated as a chained slave / property in the black market and "taken" by "white" Shapeless One...as if it's all meant to look "pure positive"? What about the scene where "white" Domi put a chain on "black" Noe's neck? Was it only great because it's "female dominant"?? lol :/ I also remember that not so long ago - "white" Misha enslaved "black" Noe and violated him in multiple, stressful ways (including the rapey blood-drinking)...and yet, the fandom mostly felt so sorry for the "white assaulter" Misha much more and got sooo disappointed / mad at the "black victim" Noe for "daring to" fiercely fight back and hurt his face, NOT "gently" pushing him away or (just forgetting about kidnapped Domi his important childhood friend and) "angelically" understanding him (the abuser) and "eagerly" protecting him as a "mere obedient black slave" of his "poor young white master" aka Stockholm syndrome lol =_=

.

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This was not going to be this long and this petty, but it happened midway, sorry asdfg

Thank you for reading my subjective opinions so far!

[lunesprite]

GiTM Characters - as Tom Cardy Songs

A Good Enough Tm List.

Hello and welcome to a very silly list I decided to make this morning. It is now a full 12 hours later and my vision must be shared. 

Tom Cardy is fantastic, and even without this silly list, I do think y'all should check him out! But keep in mind, a lot of these songs are suggestive/NSFW for various reasons, so maybe put in some headphones first. 

Also, I make these silly suggestions, every single one of them, out of immense love for these characters, so if one seems mean… I am ragging on them. I am pulling on their rays in the playground or whatever. 

I love each and every one of them, scouts honor. And with that out of the way….

Wonderful @/venomous-qwille's Ghost in the Machine Cast - specifically as Tom Cardy songs only.

Part 1: I Will Not Be Taking Feedback I Am Correct: 

Clip.exe: Red Flags

I love Clip.exe so so much it is unreal. He's a freak /endlessly affectionate. If i am feeling particularly silly with him, then i can offer a second for young, baby Clip: Monster Truck. Either way, I am kissing him.

Sanii: Hot Shit

He is. I would pay an inconceivable amount of money to see this. I want to see him performing this in a silly glittering red jacket to try and cheer Misuta up.

Nova: The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy

This beautiful, perfect man. Important context: Fool is singing it, narrating our wonderful tale, and Nova is performing his ass off and having a blast. He is wearing a cowboy hat and yes, one of his rays is sticking through it. I love Nova. I am kissing him right on his face.

Noon: Artificial Intelligence

He would sing this song and you wouldn't even need to ask him to.

y/n: Repress it!

Look at that, we get a song too. :) Almost forgot to, tbh.

Part 2: I Got My Reasons:

Soleil: Read Between the Lines

Can I picture him singing it? No. I will not pretend. There are certain lines, however, I absolutely can. He very nearly falls into the 'Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out' category, but I just. I needed to manifest this.

Fool: Perception Check

You know, I don't think I need to explain this one.

Sunspot: My Secret Shame

Oh darling Spot, it might very well be there's another song that fits you better, but imagining this one, which is so sweet and harmless but absolutely on point for something that WOULD be his shame, made me almost break down laughing at work.

Misuta: All the Stupid Things I've Ever Done

:)

Sandman: Level Clear!

Sandy is kind of riding the line between this category and the next, but like. I give him this one because I cannot wait to see what this little man has going on, and I really wonder what his life has been like! I just know there's trauma under that hat.

Harvest: About 8 hours

There was another song here but this was a late suggestion that I realized was simply. Too correct.

Part 3: I Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out and By This Point I Was Invested And Too Proud to Back Down (I Will Take Cardy Suggestions Here):

This section is particularly silly. 

Ruin: Love Language

The angle. I confess: I forGOT them. I am a fake fan. But I come with a secondary song for Ruin.

Call your Mother (just links now because there is a 10 video limit woopsie): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV5HKWRMyAY

Profanity aside - and the funniness of imagining Influencer Ruin - I think this is about as accurate as this section gets.

Part 4: JK i backed down instantly

Sunflower & Sombra

I had to admit defeat with these two. I don't think there is one by Tom Cardy that fits Sunflower, but I know so little about her I... As for Sombra, I did have a joke one but later (right now) accepted I also know very little about him. I toss in my hat on these two, I have done my best. 😔

I also debated an extra song for Nova - and a particularly silly one for Sol - but I thought I should cut myself off before I lost myself completely in the sauce. I suppose it works out, since I ran out of video embeds (oops).

Thank you for attending this uh. Post? Yes.

[arinele]

🌶️!

Hi! Thank you for asking :) This took way longer than I was expecting it to because I was going to type out something really controversial, but I don’t know if people are ready for it yet. So,

I HATE Thingol.

Reason 1: He straight up slaughters the Petty Dwarves. He’s one of the only people named in doing so, so we can assume he had a pretty big hand in that. They hunted them like animals. He even tells Finrod to go to Nargothrond knowing that there are Petty Dwarves that already live there.

ALSO, Finrod is a colonizer who waltzes into the Petty Dwarves’ home, charms them into doing work for him, and when they realize that he’s taking advantage of them he drives them out. Of their home. And no one talks about this? I love Finrod as much as the next person, but he’s nearly as bad as Thingol.

(Side note: I personally think that the Petty Dwarves were just a regular group of dwarves that left Middle Earth for Beleriand before anyone else did. Dwarves hadn’t yet learned not to trust the Elves. So the reason the Dwarves are Like That is because of what happened to the “Petty Dwarves.” The Elves could have made up stuff about the ones they slaughtered being of a lesser race to make them not seem as bad in their own history. I could literally talk so much about this but I don’t want to get into the blatant antisemitism associated with the Dwarves so I won’t.)

Reason 2: Thingol waltzes into a foreign land, slaughters it’s native inhabitants, and then declares himself the King. Congratulations! You just invented Tolkien TM Colonization! The only worthwhile thing I can think of him doing is fucking Melian (which probably wasn’t entirely consensual on his part let’s be honest), having Luthien as a daughter (which he fucks up), and inventing colonization. He’s not even a good King. When the Orcs start invading and killing people, Melian only protects Doriath. Thingol leaves everyone else to be massacred. How can you claim to be the King of All Beleriand when you can only protect Doriath? (And it’s not even him doing anything it’s MELIAN.)

Reason 3: I think the way he died was one of the funniest and most ironic deaths I’ve ever seen. It’s karma at it’s best. But it’s also most likely extremely biased in the elves’ favor. Take it from the dwarves’ perspective. You walk in to do a job for that guy you and all your people hate but at least he usually pays well. As you’re doing the job, you notice that there’s a tiny inscription on the necklace. It says, “Made by the Dwarves of Nogrod and Belegost for Finrod Felagund.” (Or something like that.) This did not belong to Elu Thingol. You go to your fellow smiths and tell them what you’ve found. One of them has remembered that those Noldor lords who have always been friends of the Dwarves are the rightful owners of the Silmarils, and had it stolen too! The Dwarves decide to complete the necklace for whatever reason. Maybe to give it to their Noldor friends. Maybe to rub it Thingol’s face. Maybe to keep it for themselves like the text says. (Though I personally think that as craftsmen they would give the Silmaril back to its rightful owners. But they would probably keep the Nauglamir.) Either way, they go to Elu Thingol with an army and no intention to give it back.

[grahamcarmen]

Since we need more red crackle positivity around here,

I like red crackle for multiple reasons but I guess the main reason would be how much they care about each other even when their enemies, they want the other by their side thougth they (begrudgingly) have to accept that it's not gonna happen, finally getting a chance to reconnect and be with each other but deciding to let them go for their own safety because you love them, and that's just so beautiful.

Also how carmen never gave up on gray sure she had no problem leaving him when they reached an impasse but she always hoped that he'd come to the good side.

But it's also frustrating, like imagine being the worlds best thief and criminal electrician and being the dream team of the most dangerous criminal organisation in the world and having the emotional intelligence of a peanut that you think this person you really care about doesn't want to see you when they're are so many signs that they do i get that you don't exactly know how relationships work since pretty much all of them are complicated and non-trustworthy but that doesn't give you a right to break my hear like this.

Gah literally, they're enemies and directly opposed and STILL lollygagging to what they think is inevitable

Like even at the Himalayas its not over the moment he says I'm crackle for carmen until it becomes more and more explicitly clear that they're still enemies and the impasse has not been broken

But when they're allowed to care *is the other safe is their last thoughts* because they want that impasse to break

Like to be fair to carmen i think she does have an understanding of what she wants from working relationships she just also understands some lines shouldn't be crossed [killing morality] or terms accepted [just stop being CS ]

but u right the THINKING GRAY WANTS SAFETY AND NOT TO BE WITH HER MORE AND ALL THE AFTER THE INCIDENT STUFF IS JUST PEANUT BEHAVIOR (writers...)

I'm just crying because the impasse has broken! HE DOESNT KILL ! HES NOT STEALING JEWELS BUT HER BACK! He is on her side (tm) And then the rift is created by what carmen did this time 😭 and aaaah, cant stand it she thinks he almost died thinking she hated him

And then he's not even bitter??? He's the one in the hospital and he asks about HER??? His last thought is her??? Wtf

And then on his side??? She doesn't care about me :( doesn't need me complicating her life...

Dude...idk how to tell you but none of the situations you've been together in are situations that would be possible if she didn't want to be there. She would be hop skip where in the world instead

Had to watch with my own 2 eyeballs her constantly go gray 🥺 and...

Like it kills me that they are still soooooooo THEY ARE ALWAYS FOND OF EACH OTHER!!!

The lengths they go to for each other and still!!@

Like they love each other is the answer fr ahhhhhh they kinda clowns!! I really want to see them continue to develop! ! I genuinely want them together again and together period. grahhhh

[queenofbaws]

Hiiii! So this isn’t exactly a prompt and more like a random question (you can answer it as a prompt if you like!) but pretending there weren’t any Wendigos or a cool stranger that owns a flamethrower, what do you think would’ve happened if Josh’s prank had been successful?

well hiiiiiii!!! omg i...love this. i love this question so, so much, and as i've been sitting here thinking about it, an answer HAS presented itself to me, and that answer is, quite simply, this:

mike and jess show up to the lodge the next day and they've never been more confused in their fucking lives. that's it!

...oh who am i kidding, there's not nearly enough rambling in there for me. check the readmore ;)c heheheuHEUHEUHEHUE

so here's how i see it. we have no supernatural forces at play here. we also have no spooky old man/wolfdog c-c-c-c-combo. what does that mean for us here in blackwood pines?

well first and foremost, it means after emily and jess have their Iconic(tm) fight in the lodge, mike and jess are sexiled. they make their way to the guest cabin, and nothing bad happens. at all. literally not one bad thing happens. maybe mike jumps out and spooks jess. maybe he doesn't. maybe it's just...cute. and cold. and then they get to the guest cabin and HERE'S WHERE WE LEAVE THEM FOR NOW.

in irritation, matt and emily also go wandering to look for her *checks smudged writing on hand* b...bag from rodeo drive. they wander around. they too get very, very cold. they do not find her bag. these are both important points that we will ALSO LEAVE FOR LATER.

which brings us to your question in earnest: what WOULD'VE happened if josh's prank was successful?????? well, by all accounts, it WOULD probably work out, huh? he'd definitely scare the shit out of chris and ashley...the saw prank would go according to plan, they'd freak out and start running around like chickens with their heads cut off...and while they were busy screaming and sobbing and having panic attacks together, he'd swoop off and menace sam in her bath towel - as you do.

according to the logic of the game, chris and ashley would still run into matt and emily, who, of course, would try and go get help, only find there was no help to be had. what does this mean??? well, not a whole lot, really, except the two of them continue to be outside. cold. they still do not find emily's bag. the mood continues to sour.

meanwhile sam is now in the bowels of the lodge with nothing but a towel and she's Not Having A Good Time. as she is being chased by what she ASSUMES is a serial killer arsonist in a bad party city mask, chris and ashley are doing their best to be the hartley hardy boys, wandering around trying to SOLVE! THIS! MYSTERY! the mystery of the BISECTED BEST FRIEND! they're also Not Having A Good Time, but for markedly different reasons than sam.

josh, however, is having the time of his young life.*

*THIS IS SOON TO CHANGE!!!!!

matt and emily are able to make it to the fire tower and use the radio. the rangers inform them they won't be able to show up until...........morning, which is a bummer, right? super bummer. mostly because they're fucking cold. and they haven't. found. emily's. bag. only here's the thing, if there's nothing spooky happening, they also get DOWN from the fire tower in the normal, safe way. and then have to walk back to the lodge.

in the cold.

not finding emily's bag.

the vibes at this point are fucking. RANCID. MY FRIENDS.

what do they find when they get back to the lodge? well, a few things actually: (1) a bunch of sexy melted candles, which is...confusing, but like, okay, sure, fine, not their business; (2) a bunch of balloons with arrows drawn on them, which...also, uh..strange, but...okay; (3) MASSIVE POOLS/PUDDLES/TRACKS OF MELTED SNOW AND BATHWATER JUST EVERYWHERE; (4) no one has turned the heat on even though they've been there for FUCKING HOURS.

almost as important as those things is what they DON'T find: (1) any sign of the others; (2) emily's bag from rodeo drive.

they are cold. their moods are bad. matt still has himself a hatchet. emily has a flare gun. what do they NOT have? TIME FOR THIS.

they follow the trail of chaos downstairs to the cinema room, where there has clearly been a struggle. pottery shards everywhere. wet footprints just all over the place. they get down into the basement and now there's MORE footprints AND an overturned wine rack, AND a spooky dollhouse with what APPEARS TO BE NAKED BRATZ VERSIONS OF THEM INSIDE OF IT, and this is where things change ladies and gents, because the INSTANT emily davis sees this she utters five simple words that no one else in that game had the brainpower to string together:

"...this is some josh bullshit."

matt looks at it for all of .0001 sec before going yeah, yeah, uh huh, you're right. sure is.

they have a brief conversation to decide whether or not this is THEIR problem in any way. after some debate, they decide it IS, but only because JOSH is the only one who knows how to get the heat going in that FUCKING LODGE. emily also decides her bag MYSTERIOUSLY going missing???? that ALSO has josh's name written all over it. they now have a grand purpose, and that purpose is getting warm and getting emily's shit, and GOD HELP ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET IN THEIR WAY!!!

as they walk, they keep seeing little clues of chris and ashley having been there, but MOSTLY their time in the basements/sub-basements is comprised of emily being Done With This. it's even colder down there than it was OUTSIDE, and literally every turn they take down there, she is just pointing shit out and going "josh did that. that's josh. this is all josh." the dead pigs? josh. mannequin dressed in sam's clothes? josh. room full of nothing but pervy security cam footage? JOSH.

as they're walking through, they bump into sam who is, uh, well, she's still more or less naked, isn't she, and for a moment both of them are like ah. yes. okay. we've stumbled across Some Weird Sex Thing, fantastic. sam quickly disavows them of this concern.

"SOMEONE STOLE ALL MY CLOTHES" she manages to get out.

"yeah that was josh" says emily.

"NO, JOSH IS DEAD - SOME MANIAC KILLED HIM" sam pants.

"that was also josh" matt nods.

"i - wait, what???" sam asks.

"yeah, chris and ashley said they saw him die, but like, when we asked if they checked the body they both sort of just cried? so we left."

sam's panic is slowly leaving her, replaced by what can only be called confuceptance: confused acceptance. none of this makes sense to her, but also, faking his own death for the vine DOES sound like something josh WOULD do.

this is when they begin to hear screaming from a nearby room.

they walk into said room only to find chris and ashley tied to chairs, both about to be taken out by saws. chris has a gun - no one is pleased with this development, least of all chris. there's...so much screaming. just so much. only here's the thing: emily is ACTIVELY EXPECTING to see josh somewhere in that fucking room, so when she does in fact see some weirdo wearing a clown mask, she's like I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU!

ah, but josh has already has his victory, you see. it doesn't MATTER that those three came crashing in, because chris and ash are bawling and having a very panicked conversation about how they would've treated their time differently if they'd known they were about to be cracked open like softboiled eggs in a dark basement somewhere, so he comes out to do his little bow...only who he finds waiting for him is EMILY GODDAMN DAVIS and THIS IS NOT THE RELAXING WINTER WEEKEND SHE WAS PROMISED.

he WISHES she would punch his lights out. she does not.

let's return to mike and jess, huh? it's been a while. let's just...let's check in on them.

after a fun, perhaps even ~naughty~ night in the guest cabin, mike and jess wake up to realize hey, there's...there's no food in this place. they joke about having to eat each other. eyebrows are waggled. there is much giggling. they decide to go back to the lodge and insist the others make them pancakes or something. they walk back the way they came the night before, and wouldn't you know it, nothing bad happens. at all.

well, they get cold. but like. again, there are definitely going to be pancakes at the lodge, whether the others like it or not, so. it's fine!

but when they get back to the lodge, what they find is sam comforting chris and ashley on the couch. both are inconsolable. ashley appears to be covered in about five gallons of blood. she doesn't smell GREAT. she IS ruining the upholstery. chris, similarly, looks pretty beat up and mostly just tired.

sam is wearing workout clothes as she strokes their hair and tells them everything's going to be juuuust fine. when she makes eye contact with mike and jess, her eyes widen and she shakes her head. DON'T ASK! that look says. PLEASE DON'T ASK!!!

they don't. mostly because they are cold. and want pancakes. so they walk into the kitchen to find...uh. well, the thing is, josh has been physically tied to the refrigerator.

"hi" he says, acting like things are fine. (they are not). "how ya doing." there is a handprint on his face so red, so bright, so CLEAR, that mike clocks it from 20 paces that that's an emily davis special.

"so" mike says, neither him nor jess commenting on josh being hogtied in his own home. "guess that's a no on breakfast huh"

matt and emily reappear with just about every blanket they managed to find upstairs, barely giving mike or jess a second look. "we got the heat going, but it's taking FOREVER to warm this place up" emily groans, "so like here, or whatever." she gives them the worst blanket in the pile. the pink scratchy one with the satin trim. you know the blanket.

mike and jess exchange a look. before either of them can say anything, the cops arrive, filling the lodge with red and blue lights. "uh" jess says, looking out the window. "so...what's...that about?"

"oh" matt shrugs. "yeah that. josh cut himself in half hamburger-style while you guys were gone. we thought he was a serial killer or something."

there is a moment of silence. mike and jess look away from each other and towards matt and emily. then they look at josh, still tied to the fridge. he does not appear to be cut in half. from the next room, they can hear chris talking about the movie saw. judging from how hard he's crying, sure sounds like he didn't enjoy it much.

mike and jess decide it's none of their business. they do not ask questions. they also decide they're never hanging out with ANY of these people again.

once everyone's home safe and sound, sam decides to take a 6 month vacation as far from her friends as physically possible. she pretends she lost her phone in a tidepool and because of that, can't answer any texts or calls, oh no. chris and ashley end up dating, so maybe josh DOES win in the end, but he himself ends up in a court-mandated anger management-slash-why going texas chainsaw massacre on your friends is wrong class so fast his head spins. matt catches a cold from being out in the snow for too long, and while he's fine after a couple days, man, he misses out on like. at LEAST five workout sessions, and that's devastating for both his gains and his morale.

but the most important thing that happens once everyone is off the mountain is that emily realizes she left her little bag from rodeo drive in her bedroom the whole time. oops.

thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[tauforged]

#1: I love finding someone with a unique/rare ship or headcannon.

#2: the interaction with Sigma and Sombra, where Sigma is saying Moira is going to run some tests on him, how do you think Ramattra would respond to hearing that?

#3 do they have any nick names for each other?

AW TEEHEE THANKYOU!!! its been a while since ive had the motivation to like, draw or write anything for em but rest assured im thinking about them so so so much... youve activated my autism trap card though i have an INSANE amount of convoluted opinions on the nature of character dynamics between sigma and sombra as well as sigma and moira and im taking this opportunity to babble about it. sorry in advance.

as for the interaction, personally im of the opinion that said 'tests' are literallly.... just tests. as in like, yknow, bloodwork, scans to make sure the implants and augments he has are actually working to redirect excess pressure and kinetic energy from his vital organs when using his abilities ... ive talked about how i think that sorta stuff works more in this post but tldr is that a lot of the tech and equipment hes using is of his own design and VERY experimental, hes pretty much flying blind here so he kind of has to make changes as he goes and so it's kinda important that his health and safety are taken into account. and he also has a bit of a uhhh. demonstrable history of disregarding his own safety for the sake of his research. it would kind of make sense that theyd be going out of their way to make sure someone stays on him about actually doing the damn tests and keeping track of the results. it just so happens that he's really averse to letting just anyone Examine (tm) him because of. yknow. the everything. and moira happens to fit the bill of being A. someone he feels he can trust to not take things too far (whether or not he's making a good choice here is up for debate, but i think he could do worse) and B. actually have a degree of knowing what she's doing. i definitely think that the only reason she's bothering at least initially is her own curiosity about everything he's got going on, but he also does just really feel like the type to jsut kind of naturally be very endearing . ive said before that a lot of their interactions read as playful to me, at least on his end - he DEFINITELY sounds like he's messing with her on purpose. i think he does genuinely regard her as a friend, and for the most part, he's probably right - even if she's a bit cranky about it. i have a LOT of thoughts about their relationship too honestly probably far too many to cram into this one post LMFAO i think about the dynamic a lot. im a moira apologist idc i think that she is capable of being nice sometimes. just because shes kind of a cunt sometimes doesnt mean shes needlessly cruel, like not only do i feel like messing with his head and experimenting on him given his history would be kinda kicking him while he's down. but ALSO, i feel like she's smart enough to know that making him an enemy would be a baaaad idea. he can literally explode people with his mind. she knows better than to give him any reason to be genuinely mad at her, and i do think he would absolutely NOT tolerate any kind of treatment like that ever again unless it was on his terms and he had the power to just leave if it got to be too much. even as it is, i think the entire process is a bit of a sore spot for him and not exactly something he's thrilled about, hence his hesitation in that interaction - not because it's happening against his will so much as he's regarding it the same way i think about having to go get blood drawn. it's not fun, but it's gotta happen somehow.

all that to say, i think upon overhearing discussion of said 'tests' without further context mattra would NOT be happy about it, likely getting defensive the same way sombra does. he'd probably be a lot harder to dissuade than she is tbh, i dont know if he'd really take moira's word for it that there's nothing underhanded going on here unless sig told him so himself, and even then it would still put his hackles up. he's probably very nosy about it for a very long time. just to be safe.

as far as nicknames/pet names go, in my mind theyre both very... awkward about these kinda things i guess if that makes sense? emotional vulnerability comes easily for NEITHER of them, between sig still recovering from decades of isolation and mattra just naturally being very guarded and bitter (for good reason!) and not used to outwardly expressing his care for others, especially not for some random human who seems to have decided that they're friends. to me, their dynamic is very much one of tentativeness and battling with distrust and insecurity. i think it would take a very, very long time to get there, and even longer to actually be able to casually say stuff like that without wanting to explode and die on the spot. i do think sig is a bit more outwardly affectionate than mattra, but even then, a lot of it is kinda tempered by the fact that he's just very forward with everyone about everything at this point - he's kind of desperate for positive connections with others that he can hold onto, so he's reached a point where it doesn't take much to get him to consider someone a friend and he's not exactly hiding it anymore. oh, i dropped something and you picked it up before i had a chance to? sick, we are now besties and i would kill for you.

i think that sort of attitude would catch ramattra off guard and he'd not really know how to react to any of it. sig could call him anything at this point, but if it's in an affectionate tone he WILL bluescreen about it. ramattra.exe has encountered an error and must restart

i do really like sig's valentines voiceline, so i might just roll with 'starlight' even if it's a bit cheesy... hell, now that i think about it, i think he'd do that specifically BECAUSE it's cheesy and will probably elicit an eye-roll or a 'stop that'. he seems to enjoy pushing people's buttons. maybe bothering his friends is his love language idk