#and both of them thinking their guilt is dumb because everyone is alive and fine but still feeling it anyways

[fullmetal-angelgrace]

bro wtf deadlock was such a good episode, i really wasn’t expecting the in tact voyager to be the one to self-destruct (which is what the writers wanted, but still), i figured harry was dead on that voyager so it would never happen, but dang they straight up sent harry and the baby over the other voyager, kinda fucked up...... poor harry. also ensign wildman had a crazy day, super intense labor, her BABY DYING, the stress of voyager possibly being destroyed, and then suddenly she gets her baby (but not technically her baby, but still actually her baby) back alive??? like jesus poor lady

[bakugosbratx]

Sorry if I’m doing them wrong (new to requesting) But can I request a CEO!Bakugo x F!reader? Just some ruthless Bakugo spewing out insults and filth towards the reader left & right- 🤭

Warning: NSFW 18+ content. Sexual intercourse, cursing, degrading, bdsm, spanking, angry/hate unprotected sex, size kink, etc.

Click here to check out my other works

A/N: No worries, love! You did it fine. I hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for your request.

Part Two

Tags: @peachsenpie @awilddreamerwrites @milkthistletea @idfkwtfgof @quietlegends @miriobaby

Your back slammed against the wooden doors to your boss office as he held you by your throat. His crimson eyes screamed anger and lust as he towered over your cowardly body. You still remained tall, though, expecting this to happen.

“You really wanted to test your fuckin’ luck this week, huh?” Katsuki growls as his grip becomes tighter around your throat. The whore in you overtook your lips as a devious smirk appeared across them. You love the toxicity that is between you two. You knew you would be in this position when Monday afternoon rolled around. You and him both knew.

“What did I do wrong?” You squeak out, faux innocence coaxed your words. This infuriated the blonde. You know just how to get under his skin just like he does with yours.

“Don’t try to act stupid with me, slut. You know exactly what the fuck you were doing bringing him to the cooperate event.” Katsuki huffs, anger running through his grip. He lets go before you loose total circulation. Just looking at you is too much to bare. He wanted to devour and hurt you all at once. He will be sure you feel his wrath, but he wants you to be alive to feel it.

“We’re coworkers, remember?” You recall his exact words. He furrows his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but doesn’t mean you can go ‘round being a God damn whore. You brought my fuckin’ competitor of all damn people, Y/N. I should fire your ass.”

“Then do it.” You challenge, folding your arms across your chest. You already had your shirt unbuttoned so your cleavage can be viewed. It sure did catch Katsuki’s attention in the board meeting along with other lingering men’s eyes.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Katsuki scoffs, returning to face you. He begins unbuttoning what is left of your white shirt and discarding it to the floor. Hickeys covered your breast from the event you went to. Katsuki glared at you with disgust.

“Izuku leave these here, huh?” He scornfully chuckled. “That sick son of a bitch. Marking what he thinks is his, but he is mistaken. You’re my fucking assistant. You work for me.”

Katsuki grabs you by your hair and leads you to his dark wooden desk, bending you over it. This is not the first time you have been in this position nor will it be your last. Your black pencil skirt and panties is removed, leaving you in just your bra. Hickeys traced your thighs, something Izuku purposely left behind. You were not shy once a few drinks entered your system. Izuku knows what you and Katsuki do behind closed doors and he was more than happy to help you get under the man’s skin. They are rivals, after all. Why not use the event as a benefit?

Katsuki strolled over to the other side of his desk, unlocking it with a key. This drawer is specifically for you. He keeps all his toys and gadgets in there for when he needs them. Pulling out a hard wooden paddle with, your breath hitched slightly. You figured you would get some sort of punishment like this, but Katsuki is never gentle. Your ass is going to be sore for a few days once he is through with you.

“Yeah, you know what this is, don’t you?” Katsuki teased as guilt flooded your irises.

“I’m really sorry, sir. I’ll be good, I promise.” You whined. Katsuki snickered at your pleading, dragging the smooth blonde wood across your exposed ass. You only got the paddle when you really pushed your luck with Katsuki. This is one of those times.

“I’m sure you are. Count and thank me.” Katsuki instructs, lifting the paddle away from your ass. You brace yourself as the wood lands with great speed. You yelp in response.

“One. Thank you, sir.” You mumbled. Katsuki did not allow you time to prepare for the next one because another hard slap was delivered shortly after. “Two. Thank you, sir.”

The process continued. Your ass was sobbing from the multiple hard hits. Your knees began to buckle beneath you, but Katsuki used his free hand to hold you in place. Your whimpering is met with an extra hit. You are only halfway through and Katsuki is still not through with you.

“T-Twenty. T-Thank y-you, sir.” You cough, wondering how much more you can possibly take. Regardless, you are going to take it all. You are not supposed to enjoy it. Katsuki will make sure of that.

Another slap is delivered and you count as expected. You finally gave out at forty. Your tears and heavy breathing almost had Katsuki feeling bad. He doesn’t, though, as he noticed the slick drip down your thighs. His index and middle finger find refuge in your soaked hole.

“Tsk. Someone enjoyed themselves.” Katsuki grumbles, shaking his head. He removes his fingers to bring them to your mouth. You gladly suck on them. “Such a filthy little whore.”

Katsuki begins undoing his black suit-pants, his erected cock now out for your viewing. You have your mouth open, ready for him to fuck your face. He chuckles at your horniness.

“Cock hungry slut.” Katsuki degrades, grabbing you by your hair again and placing you on your knees. You did not even give him time to put the tip to your damp lips. Your tongue swipes his length and your kiss the tip before taking in every inch. Bobbing your head up and down, Katsuki uses his grip on your hair to control the speed.

“Yeah, like all my cock in your filthy fucking mouth?” Katsuki questions as he thrust his hips into your saliva filled mouth. You choke on his length as it slides in-and-out of your mouth. “Ha, is the whore struggling to take all of my cock? A dumb bitch like you should be able to take it all.”

You ignore his insults as you continue pleasing his erection. You hollow your cheeks and put more work into your tongue. Every vein in his girth is getting extra attention along with the head. You know how to please him like no other woman. Katsuki grumbling curse words under his breath and throwing his head back in pleasure is encouraging you to keep going.

Katsuki’s dick twitches and pre-cum leaks from the tip. You swallow every drop as is floods from him. That was your intent, but Katsuki has other ideas in mind. A string of saliva connected your lips and Katsuki’s cock.

“Whores don’t get to enjoy my cum,” he lets go of your hair and taps your cheek so you get up, “bend over my desk.”

You do as your told, bending over his desk. Katsuki arched your back more by pushing down on your spine. Aligning you with his cock, he enters deep into your tight walls. You are up every inch. Katsuki’s nails dig deep into your outer thighs as he thrust into you. His hips slap against your bruised skin. You cry out in pleasure and pain.

“Mmm Katsuki.” You sob as your knuckles turn pale from holding onto the desk for support. Katsuki pushed your head down into the stack of reports.

“Quit your bitchin’. You’re going to take all my fuckin’ cock and like it. Bet Izuku couldn’t even reach your fuckin’ cervix.”

You babbled nothings into the freshly printed papers below you. Drool sneered Katsuki’s ink signatures as he continues his rough rhythm. He was also sure to deliver slaps on your sore ass when he wanted to hear you cry for him. His ego needed the boost.

“Better not ruin my fuckin’ reports.” Katsuki hissed as he continued pounding you from the back. You attempted to apologize, but your lost of reality made it difficult too. “Look at you, I’m fuckin’ you so good you can’t even say a coherent sentence. Dumb bitch.” Katsuki snickered.

Your pussy stretched from his large girth, still never use to how big and long he is. You loved it. No one can make you feel as good as Katsuki can. He knows just how you like it. He knows how to get you soaked by a single glance. He knows just how to please you.

Katsuki could not contain himself anymore as cum released from his cock. Your tight pussy swallowed every single drop. Katsuki is not removing himself until you are filled with his sperm.

Once you are stuffed, he taps your outer thigh with heavy breathing. “Get dressed.” Katsuki commands, fixing himself also. You gather your act there’s clothes and straighten yourself out. Your makeup is sneered and your hair a mess. Everyone in Bakugo Industries has already speculated what goes on between you two. There is no need to hide it, but something you can’t seem to understand is that Katsuki came in you. He never comes in you. He does not want kids. At least, that is what he always said. There are no strings attached.

Just a couple of coworkers, right?

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

[antiloreolympus]

12 Anti LO Asks

1. arent some of the copies of that lo book upwards of $40 dollars if not more? like bare minimum ive seen it at least $20 even for the paperback but it goes way up for the hardcovers (tho the second vol already had a pretty massive markdown by what i saw on amazon which was ... weird). wt readers flip out over paying a few cents for fast pass, why would they buy the same thing they already read for free for a much higher price thats not even formatted correctly and kept all the typos?

2. i swear LO is making me into a pearl clutching nun. I get its trying to be ~pro sexuality~ or whatever but its so hamfisted in trying to do so and everyone and everything is so horny for??? reasons?? like no one talks or acts like this.

3. the way rachel "designs" characters deadass looks like how NFTs work. she just uses the same template and changes one or two things and calls its unique.

4. Does anyone know a comic where Persephone ACTUALLY chooses to go to the Underworld? Because LO and Ficlets still has her be kidnapped and Punderworld has it just be an accident she ended up there.

5. i think whats annoying me too about all these flashbacks is that im not sure whats actually true?? which i think is maybe the point but even when we see it from h or p's POV it comes across as the worst option? like helios' version actually made persephone look better than reality, hermes' flashback gave her personality and set their relationship better, meanwhile we get it from hxp and hades is just a neglectful ass to a literal child meanwhile persephone just looks like an idiot? like?? 💀

6. The biggest thing to me is these ancient stories don't belong to us, and modern "retellings" are not the "natural progression" of mythology, it's just people taking known stories and more often than not just making fanfic with the creator's biases. LO is allowed to exist, but Rachel is not "keeping the mythology alive" or "adding to the canon" as her fans claim. LO doesn't even fit a loose retelling, and it is not nor will ever be as legitimate as the actual texts. Sorry to be harsh but 🤷🏿

7. The way my skin crawled at the Niobe part… that’s so dumb if RS wants to portray Artemis as good and Apollo as bad why would you choose that myth like 😭 “hey Artemis only killed 6 instead of 7 like her awful brother” how does that even make sense??? Also ofc cutting so much of the original myth like-

From OP: Yeah, it doesn’t even make sense because we hear Leto is a sun goddess in LO but not the goddess of motherhood.

8. i dont get why all of a sudden now persephone wants to be queen? off of what? first its set up on she had goals to get her degree and have freedom, but now she just wants to be his wife? why? second, even her idea of making elysium is just her trying to relive her own guilt, not that she actually cares about the dead. her motives are out of nowhere and purely selfish, which the latter would be fine if LO didnt set up one set of goals but drop them to be hades' wife instead with no reasoning.

9. i think the biggest issue with this trial plot line is one) so dragged out, who cares, but two: hades is both leading up and during this whole thing has been so cartoonishly awful that i dont even care if he points out something right. a broken clock is also right twice a day, but that doesnt mean it still isnt broken. not to mention its very easy to make him look "right" when rachel purposely makes everyone else so irrational/wrong that he looks correct in comparison. that isnt a win, actually.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP SPOILERS// Hades basically tells Persephone that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in reaction to learning about her sexual assault and that really rubs me the wrong way because that kind of trauma doesn't make a person stronger, it damages you and as you heal you become stronger in spite of what happened so idk that whole diamond pep talk just irked me idk if anyone else feels the same way

11. Fp) Helios (thought it was Hera at first lol) she gives you HOMEMADE birthday cards as a bribe each year how dare you report a homicide she committed... Of course now we will get to know the real story is completely different and Perse is an angel who allowed those poor mortals to duebabd Minthe co. are such a horrible people for lying. She can't do anything wrong. Also, seriously? Russell? Such a Greek sounding name again.

12. I shouldn't be as annoyed as I am that episode 184 was basically more pointless stalling, it's honestly just a trend at this point. Is it bad that I actually laughed when Helios told Persephone that her birthday cards ain't shit? The way she actually tried to guilt-trip him for reporting her murdering people by saying "bUt I mAdE you Birthday Cards!!11" and him njust not having that shit. Beautiful. Also, as much as I was never a fan of Smythe's demonizing of Apollo, I'm not sure I like the direction she seems to go in now, namely the implication that Apollo's predatory behavior is really all Leto's fault because she encouraged it. It's yet another female character Smythe villainized just so Persephone could be the most perfect woman of them all in contrast to all these manipulative harpys on Olympus.

[on-maars]

Kaleidoscope

Another buddie fic cause I can’t get enough of these two dumb idiots.

Read it on AO3.

Eddie’s first thought is that he’s been buried alive. He moves his hands to the side but his knuckles hit the wood and that’s when he realizes he must be trapped in some kind of box. He tries to scream but the air around him is so thick and the sound of his voice is swallowed by the darkness surrounding him at all sides.

His heart beats hard against his chest, so hard Eddie feels like it will break through his rib-cage. His eyes shuttle back and forth, scanning his surroundings and trying to adjust to the dark. He kicks the wood again and again but the material doesn’t give way and his breathing becomes labored as sweat starts falling down his forehead.

He strikes the wood above his head and doesn’t stop until he can feel the material cracks under his fingers. Only then he uses his elbow and continues hitting until the whole thing breaks and he’s buried in sand.

Eddie closes his eyes and the next thing he knows he’s back in Afghanistan. He watches his friends die and he wants to reach forward, wants to get them out of harm’s way but that’s when the bullet hits him and pain radiates through his shoulder and he falls.

“ Firefighter is down! I repeat, firefighter is down!” He hears a voice shouting. Because he’s not in Afghanistan anymore. He’s in LA. In broad daylight.

And his lungs are filled with water.

Is he drowning?

“ Eddie! Eddie!”

It’s Buck’s voice, screaming his name over and over again, so loud it makes Eddie cry.

He tries to reach out to him but his hand slips and he loses him. The last thing Eddie sees is the bloodied face of his best-friend disappearing into the water.

Eddie wakes up with a start, gasping for air. His entire body is drenched in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead and his heart pounding against his chest like a hammer. He runs his shaking hands through his hair and closes his eyes fiercely, trying to get rid of all these images invading his mind.

“You okay?” Bobby asks and Eddie jumps with surprise. His captain is leaning against the wall and watches him with a concerned expression plastered all over his face, his eyes shuttling back and forth as if performing an internal scan of Eddie’s mind.

“I’m fine.” He says, shakily. “Just another nightmare. But I’ll be alright, cap.”

It’s a lie. An easy lie. Eddie knows it. The kind of lies he has to tell to try and maintain a somehow strong image among the 118, the kind of lies he has to tell over and over again in the hope that, with time, he might believe it himself. Because truth be told, Eddie’s not so sure he can hold on much longer. Truth be told, he can slowly feel his shell crack, each nightmare spreading the fissures wider apart.

“Buck’s upstairs.” Bobby only answers. “If you need him.”

“I’m fine.” Eddie repeats without thinking. It became a reflex, something he says as easily as a tired ‘good morning’ in the early hours of the day.

“Who are you trying to convince, Eddie? Me or yourself?” Bobby asks, his eyebrows raised. “You know we only want to help. We only want to be there for you.”

“I’m f-”

“Yeah, we know.” Bobby says with a sigh. “You’re fine. If you’re not gonna be honest with me then at least be honest with him.” He adds and Eddie looks away, his fingers twitching uncontrollably.

“I… I can’t.” He says, biting his lower lip.

“He was with you that day, you know.” Bobby tells him. Eddie can notice a slight trace of blame in his voice. “What you both went through, it’s- no one’s expecting you to have it all together, Eddie. Especially not him.” He adds. “What are you so scared is going to happen if you start talking to him about it?”

“I’ll be- I'll be okay.” Eddie repeats, stubbornly. Because it’s the only thing he can bring himself to say. He darts his eyes towards his Captain for a few seconds and the expression of disappointment painted all over his face is enough to fill Eddie with guilt.

Bobby sighs and nods to himself, as if knowing there’s nothing he can say to encourage Eddie to finally open up. He places his right hand on the door handle, takes a small step forward but Eddie doesn’t let him the time to leave the room completely.

“He deserves better than to put up with all my shit, Bobby.” He says through gritted teeth, bending his fingers into a fist.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how he sees it, Eddie.” Bobby answers, taking a seat on the bunk next to him. His captain is watching him with so much attention it fills Eddie with unease, makes him want to run far, far away from this place.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a chuckle. “Well, too bad. I’m not letting him the chance to ruin his life for someone as messed up as me.” He adds, wiping his tears with the back of his hands.

“Because you don’t think he has issues of his own?” Bobby asks and Eddies shrugs his shoulders.

“Nothing to put up with.” Eddie clarifies, running his right hand through his sweaty hair once again.

“You only say that because you love him.” Bobby remarks and Eddie whirls his head around. “You don’t see his issues as something you have to put up with because you love him for who he is, no matter how much baggage he may be carrying with him.” He says. “Did you ever stop for one second to think that maybe he feels the same way about you?”

Eddie lowers his head down and doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to answer to that, doesn’t know how to make sense of everything Bobby just said. He knows that, in all likelihood, his Captain might be right. Maybe that’s how Buck feels. Maybe he’s in for the long haul.

After all, every sign seems to point to that conclusion, whether it is the fact that Buck took care of Christopher without even being asked while he was fighting for his life in that hospital, or the three weeks he spent in their house helping him with his recovery, or even his break-up with Taylor strangely coinciding with his own separation with Ana, give or take a few days. The signs are here and they’re clear but something in Eddie still doubts. Something in him still hesitates.

That’s the moment Buck chooses to barge in the bunk room with a cheerful stride, smiling wildly.

That’s enough for Eddie’s lips to turn up at the edges. He can’t help it. Buck’s presence is like a ray of sunlight finally poking through the clouds after days of rain, it feels Eddie with so much love he’s afraid his heart might explode.

And Eddie’s aware of how that sounds, Hen and Chimney reminded him of how miserably cheesy he looks whenever his best-friend is around enough time to make sure of it, but Eddie doesn’t find it in him to care anymore. He’s irrevocably in love with his best-friend and maybe fighting it and trying to pretend otherwise only makes it worse.

Buck’s smile only lasts a second though. His eyes quickly fall on his best-friend and his entire face darkens.

“Eds? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asks and rushes towards him.

“He’s okay.” Eddie can hear Bobby says. “But I think he could use some Buck time.” He adds, while getting to his feet. He squeezes Eddie’s shoulders and crosses the room, closing the door behind him. And Eddie’s grateful for the privacy but really there’s nothing more he wants but to follow Bobby out of this room and leave Buck alone.

“Another one of your nightmares?” Buck asks carefully, not sure whether to finally cross the line that seemed to have been erected between them ever since he left his flat. Eddie only nods but stays silent, the words still stuck in his throat. “The shooting again?”

Eddie nods again, not trusting himself to speak, not trusting himself to tell the truth, make him understand the true extent of his nightmares.

Not just the shooting.

Not just the shooting, Buck. The well, too. Afghanistan. The tsunami. Losing Christopher. Losing you.

Always losing you.

A silence slowly settles in the room, one person too scared to cross that invisible barrier, the other too afraid to speak. That, until Buck’s fingers tentatively reach out and brush past Eddie’s hand.

And Eddie? Eddie wants nothing more than to lean in on the touch but he does the only thing he seems to know how to do instead: He runs away. He gets up from the bed as if he’s been electrocuted by Buck's touch but his best-friend's voice stops him dead in his tracks.

“I wish you knew how to talk to me.” He says. His voice is filled with concern, and sorrow.

“I- I know how to talk to you.” Eddie says, his voice weak, overwhelmed with so many different emotions he doesn’t even know how to make sense of any of them.

“Then how come you never do, Eds?” Buck asks, his voice soft.

Eddie’s hands start shaking again. In fact, his whole body trembles but still, he says nothing.

“I don’t know what changed, Eddie.” His best-friend adds, but this time his tone is desperate, almost pleading. “I don’t know what to say to you anymore.”

“Maybe you don’t need to say anything.” Eddie finds himself saying, glancing at his best-friend who slowly looks up, his big blue eyes filled with worry staring back at him.

“Maybe.” His best-friend agrees. “But you run away even when I don’t.” He adds, smiling sadly at him.

Eddie’s throat is so tight he can barely breathe.

“I still have them too, you know.” Buck goes on and Eddie stays here, unable to move, let alone speak. “The nightmares.” He adds. “I still have them. And I don’t know what’s going on inside your head lately Diaz. I don’t know if it’s another one of your weird phases when you push everyone away because you feel like you’re strong enough to deal with everything on your own, or- or if it’s just a fucked up way for you to try and protect me from yourself but you don’t need to pretend with me, Eds.”

Eddie darts his eyes towards him and his best-friend is already looking at him dead in the eye, not blinking.

“Because I was there too, you know.” Buck adds. “I wasn’t the one who got shot but I was there, too.” He adds and something in his face just breaks. “So whatever you’re feeling, Eds, I- I get it. Trust me.”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes fiercely, sighing deeply as he lets himself fall on his bunk next to Buck. For a moment, neither of them say anything. Eddie only intertwines their fingers together and lets his thumb draws small patterns on Buck's palm.

“I never wanted you to leave.” He still admits after a few seconds, ignoring the way his best-friend whirls his head around, his eyebrows frowned in confusion. “I wanted you to stay.” He adds. “The first night I spent on my own, the only thing I wanted to do was to call you and beg you to come back.”

“Why didn’t you?” Buck asks. And it’s a simple question. A simple question that should come with an easy answer but once again, the words get stuck in Eddie’s throat and he can’t speak. “Why didn’t you call me?” Buck repeats and Eddie chuckles, lowering his eyes to the ground.

It’s only a few seconds later that the words finally come.

“Because you would’ve come.” Eddie breathes out. “And I couldn’t let you do that.”

“Why?” His best-friend asks, his hand squeezing Eddie’s thigh. “You think I can’t deal with your nightmares?” He teases and Eddie lets out a shaky laugh, nudging him playfully.

“I know you can.” He says and Buck’s smile is so soft Eddie has to look away. “I just don’t want you to.” He adds.

“So what, you think I don’t have issues on my own?” Buck answers, forcing him to look up by lifting his chin with his forefinger.

“Of course you do.” Eddie whispers, his eyes are still down. “So why would you want to add mine to your pile?”

Buck sighs and cradles his chin with his hands, his thumbs brushing along his cheeks until Eddie’s eyes stare back at him. Only then, he says:

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Eddie lets out a shaky breath and doesn’t look away even when Buck’s hand moves from his cheeks to the back of his neck to press a kiss to his forehead.

“And I… I guess there’s no way for me to talk you of it?” Eddie says and smiles when Buck only scoffs and taps him on the back of his head.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Diaz.” He says. “This is non negotiable.” Buck’s eyes glance down at his lips and all it takes is a small nod from Eddie for Buck to capture his mouth in a gentle kiss.

“I might be in love with you too, Buckley.” Eddie says against his lips and manages to miss Buck’s nudge by moving his body a bit further to the left.

“Oh you might?’ Buck teases him and Eddie cradles his neck with his hand, bringing him closer to kiss him one more time.

“I am.” Eddie clarifies, his voice clear and steady. “I’m so in love with you I think it makes me look stupid, Evan.”

And when Buck wraps his arms around his back and buries his face in the crook of his neck, Eddie only smiles and rests his chin on his shoulder, thinking that as long as Evan Buckley is by his side, then he might be alright.  

[solomonish]

you dumb bitch, i loved you! (belphegor & lucifer)

the worst part is i loved you, and sometimes i feel like i still do

when belphegor fell, it felt like everything he loved had been forced inside out and created just to hurt him.

WARNING: (christian) religious imagery and guilt, swearing, brief choking, and my own interpretation of how belphie was forced in the attic.

based off of this song // ao3 link: here!

No matter how hard he tried to forget, Belphegor remembered how passionately he loved the human realm and how his bliss in his old home had been nearly just as strong.

His memories are filled with adventures in the human realm, walking down the streets with Beel and Lilith at his side. Humans liked to marvel at their gradual progress over the centuries, but to an extension of Father himself as everlasting as His love, they seemed to grow and learn at a fascinatingly fast pace. He could walk down dirt paths made only by the constant wear and tear of feet, only to be pulled away by his ear and come back after his punishment to find cobblestone and two-story apartments lining the spot where he last stood. Humans were such darling creatures, bold and brave in their battles yet never losing that adorable haze of ignorance to the greater realms. There was something about them that made him want to work harder to guide them gently on their way - an urge to protect the people who interested him so much, in an effort to maybe let them know just how dearly he loved them all.

When he wasn't wandering the human realm with a wide-eyed wonder, he spent his time diligently working, hoping that he might catch the attention of a certain angel - or maybe get him to admit that his work made him proud. Angels were not perfect, being mere reflections of His grace - if the warped spot in Belphegor's mirror was not his interest in humans, it was the favoritism he harbored for a certain group of angels. His attachment to Beel could be tied to their kindred creation and his love for Lilith a version of the love all senior angels felt for their younger brothers and sisters, but the complete admiration he had for Lucifer was something entirely different. The sentiment was shared by most angels, complementary sighs of Lucifer’s beauty and success floating around any room he was in. But Belphegor noticed the softness Lucifer held for him and the others in their little group - a bond that would not go punished if not boasted about. Fortunately for them, boasting wasn’t in the nature of angels.

There was something about Lucifer that had Belphegor completely enamored. There was something about how he seemed so...brilliant, with magnificent wings and a certain air of vulnerability that made his few imperfections invisible. Not only did Belphie respect and admire Lucifer, he considered him his favorite. If angels were creatures of devotion, Belphegor had no issue devoting himself to Lucifer. It was hardly blasphemous to revere a creature made so as glorious as he.

Perhaps his fault was that he loved Lucifer more than his Father, or his love was too selfish. (He always knew in the back of his mind that his desire to be perfect in Lucifer’s eyes, his desire to hide away with only the seven angels that felt more like his brothers than anyone else, was sacrilegious). But at the end of the day, he had loved Lilith enough to go against Father, and he had loved Lucifer enough to trust in his battle plan. A band of disillusioned heretics was no match for the strongest armies of heaven, and their ideas were destined to burn.

And burn they did.

When he watched Lilith fall out of the clouds, Belphegor felt his heart drop, bile threatening to spill from him as he, too, slipped out of his realm. Plummeting to the ground, seven burning stars on their path to damnation, he was acutely aware of the fire encapsulating him and Beel - and yet the only burning he remembered was from his throat, raw from his screams. Just as quickly as his wings burned up and his halo fractured, all of the joy Belphegor’s life once gave to him disintegrated as well. It was replaced with a hatred just as deep, the comforting warmth turned into a scalding flame that ensured he would never forget what it once was.

The Devildom was hardly a place to fear as much as the Celestial Realm made it sound. Although Belphegor really didn’t experience much of the realm - between grappling with his grief and being lulled to sleep inexplicably most hours of the day, he didn’t have much time to irritate the denizens of his new realm. He accepted what was given to him, the room and the school itinerary, and spent his time in his room, mulling over what fate had handed to him. With no ear to listen, (one unbiased by its own pain, at least), sorrow quickly turned to bitterness. He refused to admit - or believe - that Lilith had been wrong, and a fond part of him that hadn’t yet died was reluctant to blame his past celestial siblings. It was humans who led to his downfall, humans in their stupid, ignorant, arrogant ways. They moved on too quickly, their rich energy a gilded facade that hid just how shallow and stupid they really were. It was their fault - it had to be, because the idea that it could be anybody else’s was far too terrifying to deal with.

Days turned to months turned to centuries, and Belphegor slept it all away. That was easier than dealing with the world. Besides, if what Beel told him was true, Lucifer was taking care of them. They were all in good hands.

Properly adjusting to the world, once he was forced to actually attend school (and regularly, at that! What a chore), wasn’t as horrible as he thought it might be. After all, spending so much time in the personal hell of his own mind meant that mingling with demons for eight hours of the day was a walk in the park. The worst part of his day was the school council meetings, a place in which he only learned he had just before he left to take a desperately needed afternoon nap. The meetings were boring, and he often found himself dozing off during them. It didn’t matter that he wouldn’t be able to offer ideas when he had nothing to offer. Lucifer scolded him, of course, for acting so disgracefully in front of Diavolo. The defensive aura prickling over both their skin made Belphegor shift in his seat, the scowl Lucifer wore like a horrifying version of the firm decision-making face he knew. The fall seemed to have done that to all of them, forcing them all into distorted versions of themselves. That time, he brushed the incident off and made an empty promise not to do it again.

He would do it again, though. There was too much effort in keeping promises.

Sometimes, though, he felt well-rested enough to stay awake during these meetings. He still slumped in his seat, head rolling back and eyes shut, but he was listening intently. It was then that he heard plans were being put forth for an exchange program - were some circles of Hell shut off from the main city of the Devildom?

Lucifer and Diavolo went back and forth, discussing logistics and statistics boring enough to almost put him back to sleep. Aside from an occasional interjection from Satan, nobody really interrupted their little lovefest - until Asmo seemed to perk up and ask excitedly, “You’re considering Solomon?!”

Finally interested in the conversation, Belphegor adjusted himself in his seat and watched Lucifer carefully. He looked worn thing and undeniably frustrated - his fault for working himself to the bone for his dumb little boyfriend - but he still spared Asmo a second to answer his question. “He would be at the top of the list, yes. It isn’t wise to bring in two humans who have no idea what they’re doing.”

Belphegor took care to hide his outburst, but his anger must have been palpable as the two heads of the table turned their attention to him. “How nice of you to join us,” Lucifer said, a hint of something completely unfamiliar underneath his breath.

“Belphegor! What do you think of the program?”

He only stared dumbly, eyes darting between the prince who had done everything wrong and his brother who he thought could never. He wasn’t concerned with revealing that he hadn’t been paying attention until this moment. For a moment, he could feel again, his sloth and hidden feelings doing nothing to dampen the turmoil inside of him. He didn’t miss being able to feel. His blood seemed to burn at his skin, like his entire red-hot soul wanted to explode out of him and destroy the entire city. “That’s what this exchange program is?”

“What’d ya think it was?” Mammon asked underneath his breath. Belphegor ignored him.

“Don’t you remember what they did to us? You didn’t forget, did you? You couldn’t have.”

His brothers either stared at him in shock or purposely looked away, examining the floor absently. Diavolo was the only one who didn’t understand, steepling his fingers in front of him and tilting his head curiously. Belphegor hated it, and fought the urge to leap at him from across the table.

“Lucifer, what the hell? We can’t just make peace with them and pretend that everything is fine!”

“No human is alive from then,” He justified, his voice missing the harsh edge Belphegor expected. Had they been in the Celestial Realm, it would have been soft and comforting, but he couldn’t risk his imposing image, could he? “Peace between the realms could improve life here more than we know.”

“What does he know?” Belphegor shouted. His throat started hurting again, reminding him of things he’d rather forget and forcing tears to prick his eyes. After blinking them away, he turned to Diavolo and started walking towards him. “You don’t know. This is a horrible idea. We can’t let them in.”

“Belphegor.”

“Wait until they tear everything you care about apart and force everyone you loved into people you barely recognize.”

He could feel the awkwardness settle over the room at that, but he also felt hot enough to burn everything in the room with one touch. Maybe that was why he was inching closer to the prince, wanting to burn him, scar him, teach him what pain was because surely he had never felt it if he thought bringing them into the Devildom was a good idea-

Belphegor ran into somebody, and it wasn’t Diavolo. It was Lucifer, who had a warning grip on Belphegor’s shoulders that felt like a plea to back down. Belphegor watched him glance over his shoulder, nodding once at Diavolo. The prince had a firm look on his face, fitting for someone of his status - too bad Belphegor was centuries past giving a shit about any of that. Gritting his teeth at the sight of Lucifer asking for permission, Belphegor tried to shake his hands off of his shoulders.

“This meeting is adjourned,” Lucifer announced, allowing Belphegor to push away from him. He wanted to rip Lucifer’s eyes out of his skull when they settled on him. “We will talk about this when I get home.”

“Like hell we will,” Belphegor hissed, turning to hurry out of the room. He didn’t bother to stop for his bag, just wanting to escape and run.

At the House of Lamentation, Belphegor kept to himself in his shared room with Beel. His twin had the wisdom to keep away for a while, though he did hear the zippers on his bag clink together when Beel dropped it off outside the door. Curled up underneath all of his blankets, Belphegor alternated between willing sleep to come to him or the weight of the covers to crush him. Nothing happened, the adrenaline and resentment coursing through him too quickly. As he held onto himself for some sense of stability, he clenched his teeth so hard his jaw locked. He didn’t know how long he stayed there, curling in on himself like a black hole and wishing he’d burn out, but he didn’t move until somebody knocked on the door. It was Beel again.

“Dinner just ended,” He said lowly. “I know you’re up. You should eat.”

That normally came with a silent I brought you food but I don’t know how much longer I can hold myself back. “Go ahead and eat it, Beel. I’m not hungry.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the door. “...You’ll die if you don’t eat.”

“I’m not you. I can skip one meal,” Another silence, one that gave Belphegor a moment of enough sanity to make a plan. Shuffling, he made his way to the door and opened it, surprised to see Beel still standing there. He was unsurprised to see him with half a phoenix leg in his mouth.

“Sor-” He started, voice muffled by the food. Belphegor put a hand up and walked past him. “Where are you going?”

“Lucifer had to talk to me, remember?” Belphegor didn’t look back, knowing the pained look that would be watching him if he did.

Lucifer knew who it was when he knocked - hell, he probably had their knocks memorized at this point - and called for Belphegor to come in. Just seeing Lucifer made all the anger come rushing back in a blistering wave, but Belphegor bit his tongue and fought it back.

“I take it, since you came to me, you’ve come to your senses?” Lucifer asked. When he clenched his fists, Belphegor felt the hostile way Lucifer glanced at them.

“What the fuck?” He asked. Unfazed, Lucifer only blinked. “How could you do this? You know what they did.”

“Belphegor, every human isn’t to blame-”

“Of course they are!” Belphegor didn’t care about how loud he was getting and how quickly he was unraveling. He was angry, and he needed Lucifer to see what he was seeing. “Who else? If she hadn’t fallen for that idiot-”

Cutting himself off, Belphegor clenched his teeth again and doubled over. Was this how Satan felt all the time, so consumed by a rage he didn’t know what to do with? Lucifer hesitated, but his words showed no such remorse. “I know that...it’s hard to believe people who we thought were family would betray us like that-”

“No it fucking isn’t!” When Belphegor straightened himself out and levelled Lucifer in a murderous glare, Lucifer immediately stood up. “That’s what you’re doing right now! You’re throwing me under the bus because, what, your prince wants to do something stupid?”

“Belphie,” Lucifer’s voice was softer than he had ever heard since the fall, but the way he squared his shoulders warned him to watch his step lest he step on a landmine. Unlike the spineless demon in front of him, though, Belphegor wasn’t a coward, and he was going to stomp through the field and hope he blew themselves both up. “We can talk about this.”

“They killed her, Lucifer. They killed Lilith, and if you wanted to talk about it, you should have done it centuries ago.”

The silence that followed felt suffocating, hovering with all the pain and anger left unsaid woven between the hesitation. He was stuck in a culmination of atrocities surmounting to their peak, the inevitable fall not finishing on a battlefield in glory but in a stupid fucking office. Belphegor could feel the content of the books surrounding them, filled with the words and law of the creatures he had been taught to despise since day one, one of the only two demons he'd ever truly been able to hate standing in the middle. Shaking with what he wished he could say, Belphegor wanted to prompt Lucifer to say something. He regretted the thought when he opened his mouth.

“I know what you’re about to say, Belphegor. Watch what you say next,” Lucifer said, slowly. Belpheor didn’t doubt that, but he let out a scorned laugh all the same.

“I’ll kill it. Them. Both.” His voice sounded much lower than he had ever heard it, like he was using it to its full demonic potential for the first time. “I’ll kill the human you bring down here.”

Lucifer rounded his desk and stepped carefully towards Belphegor. “Watch it.”

“Anything! Anything to stop this stupid program,” Instincitively stepping back, Belphegore’s gaze unfocused for a moment. “I’ll kill your precious prince, too. This can’t happen. It isn’t-”

All at once, Belphegor’s voice cut off and his back hit the wall behind him. His legs dangled a distance from the ground, and it took him a moment of being unable to breathe to realize Lucifer pinned him to the wall by his neck. He found himself staring at Lucifer framed in an endless black void, noticing a few moments later that he was in demon form and his wings were stretched out. His red eyes were staring through him, as if deciding what to do with the demon hanging limply in his grasp.

Lucifer didn’t give him the luxury of an explanation, instead forcing him down the hall and up the only staircase to the attic. When he was thrown forward, Belphegor felt what little breath was left being forced out of his lungs. He could vaguely hear Lucifer chanting something and bars forcing themselves into place, but by the time he realized what was happening, it was too late. Stumbling to the bars, still uneasy on his feet in his fatigue, Belphegor pressed himself against the bars. Lucifer stood just out of reach, and the thought that it had been like this since they were demons tasted bitter on his tongue.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice a harsh rasp. “You’re just- leaving me here?”

It was the first time Belphegor saw uncertainty flicker in Lucifer’s gaze, but he couldn’t find any pleasure in it with metal bars pressing into his face and chest. “Believe me when I say this is what’s best for you,” Lucifer said.

Belphegor didn’t know how long Lucifer was planning to keep him up there, but the finality circling around him was as bad an omen as any. When Lucifer turned to walk away, he began throwing himself against the bars, screaming his protests and promising to find a way out. He couldn’t see the pain on Lucifer’s face with his back turned - but his own angry, desperate tears would have blurred his vision anyway. Still, he wouldn’t resort to begging to be let go, not if it meant accepting a world where humans wouldn’t pay for what they did to his whole family.

For the second time in his life, Belphegor screamed his voice hoarse. For the second time, when he was done, his cheeks wet and body exhausted, he crawled into the nearest bed and lay in contemplative silence. There was one small window in the attic, one he knew he wouldn’t be able to escape from, and from it the moon shone through and painted the otherwise dark room a misty white. He remembered how he had stared at a similar moon and wondered with the humans about what it’d be like to go there, and felt as though he had finally made it there only to realize it was nothing but a dusty rock.

He hated being stuck without his brothers, being able to hear their commotion through the floorboards but knowing they didn’t miss him at all. He hated having so much time left to his thoughts, and it only embittered him more. Most of all, he hated Lucifer, hated how he could so clearly remember how great he had been and how pathetic he turned out to be. The illusion of fallen angels no longer stuck in his mind - he was the complete opposite of his former self, so it only made sense that Lucifer was, too. What once was great and admirable was now nothing short of disgusting, and Belphegor had allowed him to trick him into thinking he might still be worth something. Everything he loved had been torn apart and distorted into a monster even he couldn’t stomach.

How easy it was to be fooled by the things you loved.

How easy it was to fall for them.

[floorbe]

“Together” Kiyotaka Ishimaru x Reader

Warnings: depressed and su!cial thoughts, implications of se!f harm, angst, hurt/comfort, happy-ish ending 

Summary: Taka finds you at your worst. 

Pairing: Kiyotaka Ishimaru x GN!reader, could be seen as romantic or platonic

Fandom: Danganronpa

Word count: 1,590

You’ve lost count of how long you’ve been here, sitting on the floor beside your bed, staring at nothing. How long had the lights been off; how long had you been stuck watching the inky blackness in place of your room? The silence is deafening, complimentary to the blindness of the dark. You hear only the sound of your heartbeat echoing throughout your body, as if mocking the fact that you’re still alive; that you still have to suffer through your dumb, pathetic little life.

It’d be so easy, too. It’d be so, so easy to get up, to go outside and finish what you’d been forced into starting. But the heavy ache in your bones prevents you yet again, forcing you to listen to the rush of your blood as you stare into the dark void. Forcing you to stay where no one wants you. Selfish, your mind hisses, selfish, selfish for forcing everyone to deal with you when you know they’d be happier without you. 

There’s a knock on your door before you can mull on the thought. It doesn’t matter, you decide; if you don’t say anything they’ll go away under the assumption that you’re asleep. Your mind tells you this as if you’d considered answering in the first place. 

There’s another knock. You feel a thread of anger unravel in your chest at the annoying insistence. Why can’t people understand that you don’t want to see them? Why do you constantly have to put on a facade to please other people because they’re too stubborn to allow you to rot here like you want to? 

There’s another knock, and you actually clench your fists at this one. Any movement is better than none, you try to reason, though it’s the fact that you had to move at all because some stupid, annoying, dense-

“Y/N?”

...It’s Taka. Of course It’s Taka.

The person who you most don’t want to see you in this state, and now he’s knocking at your door. Great. Wonderful, in fact. What even drove him to come here in the first place? You vaguely remember a few dings coming from your phone a while ago before you’d turned it off, throwing it across the room in frustration at the incessant noise. Still, you’ve neglected to answer texts for longer than this without any worry from anyone.

“Y/N, I’m going to come in in a moment, if that’s okay.” 

It’s not okay, actually, but you have no energy to say otherwise, and your tongue feels like lead in your mouth anyway, silencing any other motive. Your hand twitches as you consider moving positions to actually feign sleep, readying itself to hoist you onto the bed. You instead slump further back against the bed frame. Who cares if he sees you like this? 

You! your mind screams at you futilely, you care, you idiot! But it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. If he sees you like this, then fine. You’re exhausted from hiding it and irritated that you feel like you have to in the first place because someone else invaded your space. Someone interrupted you in your privacy, and you have to collect yourself? Fuck that. You’re tired of heeding to other people because they can’t take a hint. 

A sudden light cracks through the blackness you’d been enveloped in, and it’s only then that you realize just how much your head aches. You squeeze your eyes shut as the light disrupts your thoughts, forcing it’s way into your unused eyes and sending a stab of pain through your already pounding head. You faintly hear a light gasp, and a quick shuffle of footsteps before the light fades. 

“A-are you okay?” you hear him murmur, and his voice travels across the room as you slide your eyes open to greet the pitch darkness again. You swallow thickly as you mull over a response, already feeling a pang of guilt for forcing him to see you like this despite any previous annoyance. He’s worried, he doesn’t deserve to see you like this because of that. A lamp flickers on from your bedside table, but it quickly dims as he switches it to its lowest setting. You watch his boots come into view before he sits down in front of you, biting his lip as his eyes flick over your form, “You-... you weren’t answering my texts, and you seemed off today, s-so I... I got worried...” 

“It’s fine,” you mutter, averting your gaze from his as your mouth twitches into a scowl. But it’s not fine, it’s never been fine, and it’s obvious from the way your eyes are sunken, how your cheeks are irritated from the tears that’d long since dried, how your arms are littered from scratches that he’s seemingly finally realizing aren’t actually from you being clumsy like you’d preached for months. You watch him take in your state, and you don’t fail to notice how his breath hitches, and how his eyes gain a new shine of unshed tears as he finally deciphers your feelings after lingering on your freshly battered arms. 

You can see him bite his lip as his hands twitch, as if considering something in his head. He seems to decide to take the risk, because the next thing you know he’s gently grasping your shoulders and pulling you forward. You slump forward into him like a rag doll, and you can feel the weight of his arms as he coils them around you tightly. His mouth presses into your shoulder, and you can just barely feel him trembling. 

“I... I want you here,” he settles on, voice breaking as he intakes sharply. You don’t ask how he knows, even if you want to out of the sudden anger that sparks inside you. How does he know how you feel? How does he suddenly know everything when you’ve said nothing? But you know how, because it’s written on your body, it’s been written on your body. It’s been written in how your gaze lingers on that steep edge just a moment too long, how you’ve glared at yourself in mirrors when you thought nobody was looking, how you’ve slowly distanced yourself from everyone around you... It’s just that he’s only now putting the pieces together. 

Your vision blurs, and before you can comprehend it there are tears sliding down your face. You feel your throat start to close as you hiccup on air, squeezing your eyes shut as you clench your fists still hanging by your side. “Why?” it tumbles from your lips before you can think, and with it comes the rest of the sobs you’ve been unknowingly holding back. 

He tightens his grip on you as you finally latch back onto him, burying your face in his shoulder as you shake violently. “B-because I care about you,” he sobs out, voice wavering. “I-I love o-our study sessions, and our movie nights, a-and-” his voice breaks off as you let out a loud sob, and he bawls into your shoulder. 

“I l-love talking t-to you, a-and- and- I-” he cuts off again as you press your face further into his uniform, shuddering. You feel your chest tighten at his reassurances, and you bite your lip harshly to try and collect yourself. The doubts that had seemed so solid, so real and immediate before, weaken just slightly. It’s what you needed to hear: Taka telling you once again that you’re important to him.

And then you apologize to him through your tearful voice. You apologize for him walking in on you like this, for making him have to console you, Hell, for having these feelings at all- he doesn’t deserve to put up with this- with you. He denies all of it, shaking his head firmly against your shirt as he assures you through his tears that it’s okay, it’s okay, he’s here for you, now; you don’t have to hide because he’s not leaving. 

“W-we’re together,” he tells you, his voice struggling to come out steady as he pulls back to look into your eyes, “W-we- we’ve been th-through so much t-together, a-and I’m not leaving.” His eyebrows are furrowed deeply, his lip trembling as he tightens his grip on your shirt, his eyes shimmering with tears as they roll down his face. 

They’re words you didn’t know you needed to hear; reassurances that you never thought you deserved in the first place. You’d always reminded yourself that eventually everyone would leave, that he’d leave, once you got too much to handle, or once they found someone better, someone to replace you. But sitting here, feeling Taka’s fingers dig into your arms and seeing his tear stained cheeks, for once you think you can believe him. And you finally think you understand that he needs you just as much as you need him, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t be here right now, checking in on you, cradling you in his arms, crying for you. 

It brings a new wave of tears to your eyes, and you can’t help but squeeze your eyes shut as you choke out sobs. You lurch forward to cling to him again, and he easily returns the close embrace as you both collapse against each other once again. It’s not fine, you decide, but being here with you and Taka tucked into each other makes everything seem manageable until it is fine, because at least you’re together in this. Just like you always have been, just as you always will be.

[chuuyasnumber1simp]

Pained Dreams- Senku x Fem! Reader

a/n: sorry this more focuses on Senku and not really him and readers relationship :/

also i kinda feel like Senku would be really dumb when it comes to emotions and his own problems

Genre: hurt/comfort, a bit of angst. Fluffy confession at the end :)

Warnings: hints at past trauma, hints at depression if you squint, panic attacks, PTSD, Gen being emotionally smart, Senku being emotionally stunted

Word Count: 3518

3rd Person POV: 

Senku was a logical person. 

He knew that he had PTSD, he knew that these nightmares were messing up his sleep schedule and quality of sleep. 

He simply chose to ignore it. 

He was building mankind from the ground up, in the stone age. He was chief of Ishigami village. He couldn’t take a break, not now, and not ever. Not until civilization was back to the way it was before. Besides, would it be fair to burden anybody but himself with his issues? 

They were his and his alone. He was strong. He couldn’t let them see even a moment of weakness. They needed to know that he would be there for all of them. Even though he didn’t show it, he cared for each and every one of them, right down to Ginro. And though he would never dream of telling her while they were both so busy, he cared for y/n too. Senku often dreamt of her, but never in a dirty way. 

He dreamt of fleeting glances and soft touches, the gentle caress of one’s hands upon another’s face, just merely being there for one another. If that were his reality, it would have been enough. 

But it wasn’t.

So he kept pushing himself to do better, accomplish more, do more. Hoping that one day, he could achieve his rose-tinted dream.  

Now his dreams were all the same. The same scene playing on a loop, but getting worse each time. 

Tsukasa kills him. 

Tsukasa kills him painfully. 

Senku doesn’t wake up. 

Taiju and Yuzihira have to bury his body. 

He fails. 

He fails his friends, fails his father, fails mankind, fails his beloved y/n. All he could hear was the sound of Tsukasa’s staff cracking against his neck. Pain, and then darkness. 

You failed them. You failed everyone. 

Senku jerks himself awake, sweat coating his body. He just barely stifles a scream, instead choosing to grip his neck, as if assuring himself that he was still alive. His vermillion eyes darted around the room, The darkness in the hut meant that it was still night, but instead of silence feeling comforting as it usually did, it suffocated him. Wrapped around his throat and choked him, until all that consumed his thoughts was the possibility of danger awaiting him outside the little hut he shared with the h/c girl. Senku’s breaths were short and ragged, on the verge of hyperventilating. He tried to breathe slowly, but he couldn’t suck any air in- he couldn’t breathe.

His whole body shook with the effort of calming himself down, the last thing he wanted was to rouse the sleeping body next to him. Slowly sliding out of his makeshift sleeping bag, he creeped out of the hut and into shadowed woods surrounding him. He needed to be somewhere quiet, somewhere his raging thoughts would shut up for just a moment. 

He didn’t know how long he walked, and he didn’t know when he started hearing footsteps. They were everywhere and nowhere at once, and he didn’t know what to do. He was unarmed and alone, though his pursuer probably knew that. They got closer, and right as they were within fifteen feet away from him they stopped. 

Senku whirled around suspecting Magma or worse- Tsukasa Empire agents, but he stopped when he was met with a familiar face. 

“You don’t look too good Senku-chan,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How long has this been going on?” 

Gen and Senku sat beneath a tree, faces illuminated by the moon. 

“About a year now,”

Senku could feel Gen’s gaze on him, yet he couldn’t bring himself to meet his friend’s eyes. 

“You’ve been dealing with panic attacks and PTSD for a year and didn’t tell anyone?”

Senku drew his knee’s up to his chest and wrapped his bandaged arms around them. 

“I couldn’t bother anyone with my useless problems, not when we’re all so busy,” 

“Doe’s y/n know?”

Senku sucked in a breath at his crush’s name. 

“No,”

Gen sighed and turned towards the stars. 

“You know, for someone who’s an incredibly smart scientist, you can be really dumb Senku-chan,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two stayed as they were for many hours, Gen never speaking, but his presence was soothing. Without using words, he showed that he was someone that Senku could rely on, someone that would be there for him. Senku may not have shown it, but he is forever grateful that he happened to meet the mentalist. His quiet strength was something Senku admired, and Senku knew he too cared more than he let on.

It was nice. 

Senku didn’t know how nice it could be to have somebody else be by his side when he felt so cold, so alone. Scared, even. 

As if he could hear the other’s thoughts, Gen spoke. 

“Being scared doesn't make you weak, Senku. It is in human nature to be scared of something. Without fear we are foolish and reckless. However, while fear may keep us alive, it doesn't allow us to truly live either,”

Senku snorted. “You sound some weird old man trying to give me advice he read on an inspirational poster,”

Gen shrugged his shoulders. “It’s true. How long do you honestly think you can keep living like this?”

“As long as i have too,” 

“We both know you can’t live like this forever. Everyone has a breaking point, Senku. You just haven’t hit yours yet,”

“And when did you get all serious?”

“When did you start acting so stupid?”

Gen paused for a moment before continuing. 

“So how long have you liked y/n?”

Senku choked on hair, practically hacking up a lung and his friends out of the blue inquiry. 

“I do not like y/n. She’s a great friend, but we’re nothing more than that,”

Gen narrowed his eyes. 

“Senku-chan, I'm a mentalist. Identifying and analyzing human behavior is my specialty. Did you think I wouldn't notice?”

Senku swallowed thickly, not knowing how to respond.

“Actually, i’m pretty sure everyone’s noticed. Even Ginro,” 

“Yeah, right,”

“How could we not? You look at her like she’s the sun. Whenever she helps you, or is just in your general vicinity, your grin gets a thousand times wider. We all see the way you look at her softly when you think she isn’t looking. The way you look at her like you would walk to the moon and back for her. It’s honestly painful,”

The red eyed boy scowled at those words.

Gen ignored his glares and continued. “It’s not painful because you’re so obviously in love with her,” Senku bristled at the word ‘love’. “It’s painful because she looks at you the same way, like you could kill someone, and she’d still be irrefutably in love with you. But you’re both so stuck in your own heads you can’t see it,” 

“How am i supposed to tell her? No matter how you think she looks at me, neither of us know for sure if she likes me. I’d rather keep it to myself and live with it than ruin our relationship by shoving possibly unrequited feelings onto her,” 

Gen turned towards the stars once more. 

“i don’t have an answer to that. That’s just a risk you’ll have to take,” 

Once the sun had risen well over the horizon, Gen silently helped Senku up and walked back to the village. 

As they approached they heard the shouts, both concerned and angry, neither a nice thing to come back to.

“They couldn’t have gotten far! Senku wouldn’t allow himself to be captured when we’re this far into our work!” 

Senku identified that voice as none other than y/n, and he let out a soft chuckle at the sound of her defending him so resolutely. 

Gen wasn’t so lucky, as the pair heard Kohaku say:

“I never really trusted Asagiri anyway. He’s a lying snake and he probably took Senku back to Tsukasa!”

“My my Kohaku-chan, i’m rather hurt by your words,”

Kohaku hurled a spear past Gen’s head and he flinched as it just barely grazed his cheek.

“Where did you take Senku?” She growled, holding her knife up to his throat.

“Relax! I didn't take him anywhere. In fact, he’s the one who dragged me out at the crack of dawn to go look for some plant he needed for some science thing. And after grueling hours of looking he didn’t even find it!”

Senku made his appearance at the end of Gen’s statement, hoping no one could see through their facade. 

“It’s not my fault you kept complaining so long we didn’t actually get to look,”

Senku locked eyes with y/n, and had to resist tearing his eyes away from her intense gaze. 

When she came to Ishigami Village, exhausted and dehydrated after somehow escaping the Tsukasa Empire, she was scared to meet anyone’s gaze. She never expanded on why she left exactly, but the haunted look in her eyes when she arrived said all they needed to know. Now, Senku found it hard to keep eye contact without squirming under her scrutinizing stare. Her e/c eyes conveyed that she knew he was lying, but knew not to bring it up here in front of everyone. 

Finally, she looked back at Gen and gave him a wide grin. 

“It’s fine! Just tell someone next time! We were all so worried about Senku. We can’t have our favorite scientist disappearing on us now can we?”

Gen seemed to also take the hint that she saw straight through them, but wasn’t about to expose them right here. 

“R-Right. Sorry Y/N-chan,” 

Once the crowd dispersed and everyone quieted down, Y/N stomped over to Senku. 

Gen looked between the girl and the boy, and quickly excused himself. 

Senku stared at the ground, refusing to meet her gaze. As neared him, he silently prepared himself for answering the questions she was about to ask. 

Your POV:

As much as you wanted to be mad at the scientist, you just couldn’t. The bags under his eyes were apparent, like he’d been out all night. Guilt and worry flashed in his scarlet depths, and he looked everywhere but you the closer you got to him. 

He shifted from foot to foot, and you never thought you’d see the Senku Ishigami nervous. 

“Look, Y/N—“

His sentence was cut off by your arms wrapping around his sides and gripping him with so much force he was scared he would pass out. 

“Don’t ever do that again! Do you know how worried I was?”

He stiffened at your touch, not knowing how to handle your body pressed against his, your face obscured by his chest. Slowly, he lowered his arms until they wrapped around you, and rocked back and forth. 

“I know. I’m sorry,” He mumbled, still not quite sure where this was going or what you were going to do. 

“I know you and Gen were lying, Senku,” 

Senku took a sharp breath in, mentally preparing for this conversation. 

“But, for the sake of my sanity, we are not going to talk about that right now. Whatever was so important that you had to leave during the middle of the night with Gen and come back after sunrise can wait until this evening. For now, promise me you won’t give me a heart attack by not being here when I wake up?”

His heart clenched at the thought of you waking up in a panic because he was nowhere to be found. He wrapped his pinky around yours, just like you would have done in the modern world. 

“I pinky promise,” 

You smiled and pushed off him, going to join Ginro, Kinro, and Kohaku in training. 

Time Skip brought to you by me being lazy

Senku knew he was being immature by avoiding you and consequently, the conversation you wanted to have with him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lay himself bare. 

But, unfortunately, life had other plans for him. 

You watched Chrome and Senku joking around, both discussing science things that went right over your head. You were perfectly content watching them laugh, because when Senku came back, he didn’t look like his normal self. 

You had only known him for about six months, but you knew someone who wasn’t doing well when you saw them. 

You watched Senku elbow Chrome, and Chrome elbowing him back. Senku elbowed back harder, but Chrome, instead of continuing to elbow the scientist, he jokingly chopped Senku on the back of the neck. 

You watched with horror as all the color drained from Senku’s face as he went completely rigid. His eyes seemed unfocused, like he didn’t recognize anyone or anything. 

You’d seen a lot of emotions on Senku’s face, but you’d never seen this one. 

You never thought you’d see pure terror paint his face. 

In a few short moments, his breathing grew more and more ragged, and you immediately ran to his aid. 

Chrome was shaking Senku’s shoulder, trying to bring him out of it. 

“Senku? Senku, please talk to me man!” Chrome turned His frantic gaze on you. “Please help him! I don’t know how!” 

But of course, you did. 

You knew exactly what was happening to him, because you yourself had gone through it many times after leaving the Tsukasa Empire. Willing yourself to remain calm, you turned to Chrome. 

“Go get Gen. Hurry please,” 

Chrome shot off to wherever Gen was, but your focus was on the man having a panic attack in front of you. 

“Senku? It’s going to be okay, i’m right here. Do you know who I am?”

Senku only nodded his head in response. 

“Good, you're going to be okay. Do you know where you are?”

Senku took deeper breaths in a weak attempt at breathing normally.

“I-I’m at t-the village” 

“That’s right, see, you’re safe here. I’m going to touch you okay?”

Once he nodded, You gently took his hand in yours and rubbed soothing circles on his back. 

“How about we go somewhere that’s not so open. I’m going to take you back to the hut okay?” 

Once more the only response he managed was a weak nod, so hand in hand, you guided him back to where you both slept at night. 

“Try matching my breathing. Deep breath in, and deep breath out. Can you do that for me? 

After getting away from all the prying eyes, he finally started breathing normally, and wasn’t shaking nearly as much as before. 

Gen knocked twice on the outside announcing his arrival, then stepped in, carefully not making too much noise. 

“How is he doing?” 

“I'm right here you know,” Senku croaked from beside you. 

“I’m guessing you want an explanation?” Gen settled himself in front of you, grey depths darting between you and the clearly exhausted man next to you. 

“An explanation would be appreciated,” 

Gen looked at Senku for approval, and when he nodded, he explained it all. The PTSD, why, and even the nightmares. 

By the end, Senku was asleep on your shoulder, and if not for the severity of the situation, you would have been a blushing mess. 

“So he’s been dealing with all of this for a year? And he hasn’t told anyone?”

“I only found out last night, after what I'm assuming a nightmare woke him up and he went for a walk in the woods. The sound of someone walking around woke up and upon seeing the state he was in, I followed him,”

You only hummed in response, both being angry at him for keeping something so serious to himself, and being sad at what he had to go through. 

“I know it’s hard Y/N, but please don’t be mad at him. He did what he thought was best, and however misguided he may have been, I don't think being mad at him is going to help in the slightest,”

“I know,” Looking over at the man twitching in his sleep, you could imagine what his dreams must be like. Going against your better judgment, even with Gen sitting right across from you, you softly ran your fingers through his hair, hoping to provide even the slightest bit of comfort.

“I know how much you love him. It must hurt seeing him in so much pain,” 

“I know why he did it, and i can’t be mad at him for it. But I just wish he would let me be there for him, the way he’s here for all of us. I do love him, but how could i possibly confess to him, especially now that i know what he’s been going through?”

“That’s for you to decide,” 

“I’ve done a good job of hiding things thus far. Not even you know everything about me. Only he knows how i think, what i think,” 

Gen turned his gaze into the man who stopped twitching even at the minimal amount of comfort you offered. 

“But you also feel deeply, and that is difficult to hide,” 

He turned back to you. “My advice? Just be there for him. I know he cares deeply for you, he told me himself. All you need to do now is tell him, but also show him how much you care. After all, words without actions are empty,” 

As Gen turned to leave, you scoffed. 

“When did you get so serious?” 

He stopped just at the entrance. 

“It’s funny,” He locked eyes with you once more. “He said the exact same thing.” 

Another Timeskip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one talked about the incident. 

You knew they did it out of consideration, but in all honesty the atmosphere changed and it was very awkward. Chrome stopped touching Senku all together, and Kohaku spoke like he was made of porcelain and he might break if she said the wrong thing. 

Until finally, Senku snapped. 

Everyone was sitting around the fire, except instead of the usual lively chatter, there was sparse and dry small talk, and Senku couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Alright listen up. I’m not going to die if you touch me Chrome, and you all don’t need to treat me like some fragile thing that might die if you say the wrong thing. I’m still the same Senku you idiots,” 

Kohaku was the first to speak. “We would all rather if you let us be here for you Senku. Even though you don’t say it, we all know you care about us. It shows in your actions, but how could you keep something like this from us? We’re your friends and we’re here to help you!” 

Suika shook her head vigorously, and Chrome shouted “yeah!”

Senku shook his head in mock annoyance. 

“Yeah whatever. Just don’t touch my neck dummies. Are we all good now?” 

Everyone nodded, but it was you who responded. 

“Yeah. We’re all good,” 

Senku gave you a smile so soft you swore you face became hotter than the crackling in front of you, and you quickly excused yourself. Maybe a brisk walk in the nighttime air would calm you down. 

Finding a nice quiet spot overlooking the river, you plopped yourself down on the grass, gazing at the moon's reflection on the silver water. 

Leaves crunching behind you alerted you to someone else’s presence, and you craned your neck backwards only to lock eyes with the man that made you this nervous in the first place. 

“Hey,” 

“Hey,” 

He sat down next to you and shifted his weight into his hands and leaned back, gazing at the stars. 

You knew that this was it. This was the moment. The area was beautiful, the timing perfect. 

“I think i-“

“i wanted to say-“

you both chucked at interrupting each other, and you spoke first. 

“You go ahead,”

Senku took a deep breath. 

“Thank you. For everything. I never thought i’d ever have a panic attack, let alone in the middle of the village,”

“Of course! You were there for me whenever i was having a bad day when i first arrived, so it’s only natural i’d be there for you,” 

“And I…” Senku’s voice got quieter during the rest of his sentence. 

“Hmm?” 

Quietly, he turned to you and took your hands in his. 

“I like you a lot more than just a simple crush. The word sounds too childlike to describe how I feel about you. If you want me to put it in words, I would tell you that I love you. I love you Y/N, ten billion percent,” 

You grinned wide and his confession, and leaned forward to capture his lips in yours.

“I love you too, Senku,” 

“Ohoho, am i interrupting something?” Gen said, appearing from behind a tree a few feet away. 

You lept away from Senku like he had the plague, but he only chuckled at Gen.

“Yeah, you kind of are,” 

Gen gave the both of you a sly grin. “I’ll leave the two of you to it then,” 

Senku grabbed you and kissed you again, and you could feel him smiling against your lips. 

And somehow, you knew everything would be okay.

[jjkclub]

before you go

pairing - hoseok x reader

genre - angst

trigger warnings - major character death

word count - 2k words

(based on the song 'before you go' by lewis capaldi)

------------------------------------------------------------------

"y-y/n.." you heard hoseok say as you locked eyes with him. your throat tightened and your eyes welled up with tears at the sight before you. you and your boyfriend hoseok have been dating for 2 years now and you were happier than ever. since he and the boys had a comeback approaching, he used to come home late, completely tired and wanting to do nothing more than just sleep. 

knowing that he was over working himself unconsciously, you made it a habit to remind him to eat, take breaks and sleep at the right intervals. since your shift ended much earlier today, you had managed to stop by hoseok's favourite restaurant and pick up food for you both as you made your way into the bighit building.

the guards and staff knew about your relationship with hoseok even though it wasn't revealed publicly, which made it easier for you to enter the building without any issues. your first guess had been that he would be in the practice room but when you stumbled upon jimin in the corridor, he smiled at you and informed you that he was alone in his studio.

as you thanked him and made your way over to his studio, you thought you heard some noise coming from inside. you walked closer to the door and found it locked. knowing hoseok's password by heart, you punched in the code and entered the room, your jaw dropping at the sight in front of you. 

your boyfriend hoseok was sitting on his chair with another woman on his lap. he had his hands wrapped tightly around her waist as her hands were curled around his neck, both of them kissing each other passionately as you dropped the bag of food you were holding.

hearing the sudden sound from near the door, hoseok quickly turned around, panting after the make out session when he realised who had just entered. he watched your eyes tearing up as he felt nothing but guilt running through him. 

"fuck, i can explain i swear!" he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration as he pushed the girl off his lap and made his way towards you. "wait…" you heard the girl say which caught your attention. "this is your girlfriend?!" she shrieked out as you saw her guilty expression. she walked up to you hurriedly after she gave hoseok a disgusted look.

"i'm soo sorry, i didn't know that he had a girlfriend. trust me, if i had known, i wouldn't have even gotten close to him. i'm extremely sorry." she said genuinely as she bowed, tears lining her eyes as she realised what a horrible thing she had done. knowing that she was innocent and that it wasn't her fault, you said, "it's okay. i understand. can you please excuse me for a minute?" "of course." she replied as she scurried out of the room. 

once she left, hoseok quickly defended himself, "y/n i promise i didn't mean to cheat on you. it was just one kiss." "JUST ONE KISS?! hoseok i trusted you! i thought you were busy preparing for your comeback, not shoving your tongue in another woman's mouth! you absolutely disgust me!" you yelled out as tears streamed down your face, your head pounding painfully as you looked at the man you once trusted more than anything.

"i'm leaving. i'll have all my things out of your house by tonight. have a nice life." you spat out coldly, each word laced with venom which brought a lump in hoseok's throat. he loved you but he couldn't remember what urged him to kiss that girl. in his state of confusion, he began to think you were over-reacting. as you turned around to leave, he grabbed a hold of your wrist, pulling you closer to him as he shut the door behind you. 

"yah, what the fuck do you think you're doing?! don't you dare touch me. let me go!" "y/n stop over-reacting goddamnit! it was just one fucking kiss! just forgive me this one time, i swear it won't happen again!" at his outburst, you felt anger surge through you. 

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING JUNG HOSEOK?! IT WAS JUST ONE KISS?! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU FOUND ME MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY?!" you screamed at him, yanking your hand out of his grip as turned around and opened the door "don't you dare come near me. we're over. i never want to see you again." 

you rushed out of the room, tears running down your face freely as you reached the exit of the building and ran out. you didn't know where you were going or where you wanted to go but you knew that you didn't want to be anywhere near him. unbeknownst to you, hoseok was running behind you, trying to grab a hold of you and beg for forgiveness. as you kept running, you didn't notice the signal change colour as you ran across the road. 

you started to feel dizzy from all the crying and exhaustion but you pushed yourself to go to the other side of the road. deciding to call your bestfriend and tell her that you wanted to stay over, you quickly turned to pull out your phone when you noticed a bright, blinding light shining on your face. you raised your hand up to your face to shield your eyes from the harsh light and before you could process what was happening, you faintly heard a voice calling out to you before everything turned black.

------------------------------------------------------------------

hoseok paced around the small waiting room, crying as he waited for the doctor to come out and give him he news. the news that you were fine and you'd live. a few minutes prior, hoseok saw you get hit by a car, your once warm and bubbly self now lying cold and lifeless surrounded by a pool of your own blood in the middle of the road. at the sight, hoseok felt his soul getting sucked out of his body as he started screaming and crying for help, desperately carrying you in his arms to try and save you.

he managed to get to a hospital quickly but little did he know, he was too late. as you were quickly placed on a stretcher and rushed inside, hoseok was asked to wait while the doctors tried to keep you alive. in the span of minutes, the rest of bangtan had arrived at the hospital to keep him company as paparazzi flooded them, trying to figure out why the biggest boy band in the world were in the hospital. 

the tension was thick in the cramped waiting room. hoseok was now seated on the floor in a corner, holding his face in his hands as he cried out, repeating the word 'sorry' over and over again. namjoon and yoongi had tears in their eyes as namjoon couldn't stop his hands from shaking violently. you were like a sister to all of them. you had been there to support them since the beginning and the thought of never seeing your cheerful face around the dorms was terrifying. 

jimin and jungkook were crying almost as badly as hoseok. they loved you a lot, some might think they loved you more than hoseok did which made it harder for them to process your accident. you were always protective over them, despite you being younger. you always spoiled them and played games with them which made things hurt a million times worse.

jin didn't speak a word at all. he simply couldn't bring himself to. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful, kind hearted and loving person that they had ever encountered. you were always willing to help him with any sort of chores and never said no to anything which he admired about you. he had his eyes shut tightly as he muttered soft prayers over and over again, hoping that you'd be fine.

unlike everyone else's hard state, taehyung was beyond confused at why everyone was crying and waiting at the hospital. when he first heard the news, he couldn't help but laugh. ah, our y/n is back to her silly pranks again, he thought as he entered the car, thinking all of them were going to go for practice or for dinner. when they stopped infront of the hospital, he sensed something bad was happening. now, as he looked around at all the member's crying faces, he couldn't help but burst. 

"yah! what the fuck are all of you crying for?! is it because of that prank y/n is pulling? are y'all that dumb, hyungs? she's just started her stupid pranks again! why do we have to come to the hospital for this?..." his words slowly fading as he took note of the hard expressions on all of their faces. "it is a prank… right?" he asked once again, this time, feeling unsure of his words. 

"taehyung-ah…" yoongi started as his voice started shaking. "it-it's not a prank… y/n has seriously met with an a-accident." taehyung felt his eyes watering at yoongi's words. "hyung, stop it. it's not funny at all. STOP LYING!" he yelled as he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE AT THE HOSPITAL THEN, HUH?! WHY DO YOU THINK HOSEOK'S SHIRT IS COVERED IN BLOOD AND NONE OF US CAN STOP CRYING?!" yoongi shouted at taehyung and started sobbing uncontrollably, falling to the floor as he wrapped his hands around his knees and rocked himself slowly. 

taehyung still couldn't believe it. how could his precious y/n have met with an accident? he wondered as he finally started to believe his hyung's words. he started to cry, gripping his hair in his hands as he hoped this was all a dream. he couldn't take it anymore as he stood up, running towards the door of the room you were getting treated in as he started banging on the glass, unable to control his emotions anymore.

after a few minutes, he slowly slid down to the floor, and continued crying into his hands. minutes felt like hours as all of them waited for the doctor to come out and update them about your condition. finally, the door creaked open as everyone's eyes darted towards the door, hoseok rushing to his feet as he stood infront of the doctor. he looked like an absolute mess, his hair was all over the place, his eyes red and swollen from crying and his lower lip bruised badly as he couldn't help but bite them in frustration.

"i'm really sorry to say this but, she's gone." the doctor stated with a crest-fallen expression. the exact words hoseok had been praying not to hear was being told to him, almost mockingly as he burst out in tears again, his heart aching terribly as he pushed the doctor aside and walked into your room. he saw your face and couldn't stop yelling out 'i'm sorry''s as he held your hand tightly. the same one on which he wanted to put a ring and claim you as his forever. 

he could barely recognize you. your usually warm hands were stone cold and your skin was pale which made him feel a pang in his chest. despite the deep gash down your neck, he noticed your lips turned upwards in a slight smile as he cupped your cold face in his hand, crying hard as he felt his world crash around him. 

he felt guilt running through his veins. would none of this happened if i hadn't cheated on her? would she still be here with me if i had held her closer, just for a moment longer? he wondered as he knelt near your bed, his throat going sore as he kept crying and screaming out to you, hoping you'd wake up and tell him that you were okay, you forgive him and that you both could have your happily ever after now but he knew that it was impossible. 

maybe he doesn't deserve to be happy, he thought as he curled his hands into fists, hitting his forehead repeatedly to try and wake him up from this nightmare he was living in cause he couldn't live with the guilt and pain. 

you had died for a mistake he had made, and he could never forgive himself for that.

[justcallmenikki7]

Regretful Choices

Pairing: BTS x Reader (Poly!Au) Summary: You get into an argument with your boyfriends, and you decide to take matters into your own hands. Warnings: Poly!Au, angssst, fluff, hurt/comfort, guilty bts, bts being dicks and making reader feel bad for her sexuality?? (trust me they’re angry and say stuff that they shouldn’t), crying bts, angst beginning with happy ending, jealous bts, bts being good guys but making dumb word choices. W.C.: 2k Request: Anon Said- Hey Love, just wanted to know if i could request OT7 getting jealous of their O/C slow dancing with someone else at a party after they had been in an argument (if not just ignore this ily💞) Notes: I am finally done with this semester and now I am constantly working :). And the title is shit i am so sorry lmao

Going from a happy moment with your boyfriends to a yelling, name calling argument moment in a span of five minutes surprises you how fast things can change. Truthfully, it is not your fault – but the boys think differently all because you were caught hanging out with your lesbian best friend Maria. Yes, you can see where they are coming from because you and Maria did have sex before, but that was because she was wanting to help you discover your sexuality. Going to her was your best bet since you trust her, and there are no strings attached. Plus, that was seven years ago when the both of you were in high school. But that fact does not change the way the boys think about the situation.

“Why are you getting so defensive, Y/N?” Yoongi spoke in a cold, distant voice. “What are you trying to hide, huh?”

Him implying on you cheating on them felt like you were punched in the chest. Looking at your boyfriends closely, you could tell that they are on Yoongi’s side, not trying to step in and say different, not even to defend you. “You guys think I would do that?” You asked with a broken voice.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jungkook gave you a look that was so foreign to you. “I don’t know, you tell us. Would you, Noona? You seem pretty close to Maria and let’s add on to the fact you hooked up with her in the past. Seems pretty…sneaky.”

Not knowing what to do, or say, you reached your hand up to your neck, grabbing the necklace the boys got you for your six months anniversary, and you yanked to where it broke from the force of your yank. The boy’s eyes became wide, almost scared even. “Fuck you all. If you are going to use my discovery of sexuality against me, then you are all hypocrites. You guys are childish and narcissistic assholes. My and Maria’s ‘hook up’ was seven fucking years ago, before I knew any of you. I can see where the trust lies in the relationship. But what is the kicker is that I did everything for you guys. I sacrificed so much to be with you, but I guess this is my slap in the face. So, you know what? I am leaving.” Walking over to the door, grabbing your phone and purse on the way out, you slammed open the door to the dorm before slamming it shut with a lot of force.

Once you got two blocks away, you found a bench to sit on and broke down.

Back at the dorm, the seven men were all stunned into silence. What just had happened is now catching up to them, the guilt now taking over their conscious and mind – especially Yoongi and Jungkook.

Standing up from the couch that he was sat on, Yoongi walked over to where you threw the necklace down, bending down and picking it up. The gold necklace that had a heart on it felt like a brick in his hand, a wake-up call to him. Bottom lip wobbling, tears forming in his eyes, the silver haired man let out a gasp.

“I fucked up,” Yoongi spoke. “I fucked up so bad.”

“We fucked up,” Namjoon spoke up. “We all did, not just you Yoongi.” The leader stated in an authoritative tone, already knowing that he is in the wrong.

“I made Noona leave,” Jungkook whimpered out, seeking comfort from his hyung, Seokjin. “I trust Noona! I promise hyung, I do.” Too lost in his emotions and guilt, Jungkook began to voice his wrongful actions and words, apologizing for everything, even though you are not to hear it.

After two hours of sobbing, mainly from Jungkook, and getting eaten alive from guilt, everyone had calmed down(ish).

“Do you think she’ll take us back?” Taehyung asked in a croaky voice, looking at his hyung, Namjoon.

“I hope so, but there is a huge chance that she won’t. She probably, more than likely, believes that we do not trust her and see her as a cheater.” Namjoon knows that his words hurt Jungkook since he was the one who implied that, but he had to be realistic. “It isn’t a promise, Taehyung.”

And with that statement, the boys all sat quietly in the living room, trying to think on how they can get you back.

It has been two weeks since the fight, or breakup.

And you are doing terrible. You have not showered in six days, to depressed to even move from your bed, or to do anything in general. The one thing that you have been successfully to do is not answering the text messages and calls from your ex-boyfriends. Seeing their names pop up on your phone always clenches your heart because you want to answer the call so badly, but you just physically cannot do so. The words, the implying of what you supposedly did, the looks they gave you; it is all a constant reminder.

“Why are we here?” You groaned to your best friend, Jisoo as she pushed you through the crowded bar, trying to find a place to sit at.

“Because you are lying in bed miserable, which is agonizingly painful to watch. Plus, you have been locked up in your house for two weeks straight and you need to get out some more. So, me being the bestest friend in the whole wide world took this into my own hands.” Jisoo grinned at you with her dazzling smile.

Rolling your eyes, you mumbled your own thoughts, earning a smack from Jisoo. Going to smack her back, you were stopped abruptly, accidentally bumping into Jisoo’s back. “Why did you—” You stopped mid-sentence, seeing why your best friend had stopped in mid walk. There, at least twenty feet away from you were the seven men that caused you pained for the last two weeks.

To your luck, they spotted you right away, stares burning right through you. The overwhelming feeling of needing to cry took over your body, making you turn around, only to be stopped by your best friend.

“No,” she protested, “you are not allowing them to run your life. We are going to have a grand time tonight even though they are here.” With that, she continued her way to the booth she laid eyes on, you cowering away from their stares.

An hour later, three tequila shots in, you are doing fine. You are smiling, joking around with Jisoo and the two guys who decided to join you both fifteen minutes into the night. But you could not deny that you are yearning for your ex boyfriends touch, hugs, and the sound of their voices. You know that they are watching you, the constant feeling of eyes on you letting you know that they are.

“Hey!” Jackson, the guy who has been sitting by you all night yelled over the music, “Want to dance?” He asked, a tipsy smile on his face.

Hearing the invite, Jisoo gave you a thumbs up from across the table. Not seeing anything wrong with the invite, you nodded your head with a smile on your face. “Sure!” You yelled your answer.

Dragging you onto the dance floor, Jackson grabbed your hand and began leading you into the twist dance, earning a laugh from you. Following his movements, the both of you fell into a fit of giggles and grins. Not noticing the figures coming up behind you, you yelped in surprise when you felt a hand grip your arm and pull you back into their chest, breaking the grip that you and Jackson held onto each other’s hands.

Turning around, you came face to face with Jungkook. Ripping your arm away, you carefully hid the longing feeling of his touch by glaring at him, along with the other six, and moving away from them. “What do you want?” You sneered, the anger and pain that you have felt the last two weeks are now surfacing.

“Why are you dancing with him?” Taehyung asked, glaring at Jackson.

“Because I can?” You answered, the answer being more of a question. “Why do you care? Are you going to start—”

“Can we please talk somewhere private?” Namjoon asked, more like pleaded. “Please?” He asked again.

Rolling your eyes, you agreed anyways. “Sure.” Turning around to Jackson, you gave him a small smile and told him that you will see him later.

Leaning against the wall, you picked at your nails, wanting some sort of distraction from the elephant in the room.

“We miss you.” Jimin blurted out, not being able to take the silence.

Looking up shocked at his confession, you tried to keep the tears and emotions at bay. “What?”

Sighing angrily, the anger more at himself than you, Yoongi ran his hands down his face. “We miss you, Y/N, so fucking much. We are so sorry.”

Snorting, “you think that I am supposed to believe that?”

Frowns covered all of the boys faces. “You don’t believe us?” Seokjin asked wearily.

“I mean, not really. You guys accused me of being ‘sneaky,’ thinking that I am sleeping with Maria and cheating on you guys. Plus, you basically shamed me of my sexuality and made me feel like shit. You guys decided to accuse me of something, not even try to listen to my side of the story, and gang up on me instead of sitting down, like adults, and talk about this. So, yes, thinking that you guys miss me is kind of hard to believe.”

“You didn’t even answer our calls and texts. You decided to ignore us!” Jungkook yelled, becoming emotional.

“How am I supposed to face you guys after that?! You embarrassed me and made me feel so belittle and ashamed of myself. How am I supposed to pick up the phone and face you?” You shot back, quickly wiping the tear that fell down your cheek.

“Sunshine,” Hoseok began, “we are so sorry. You are right, we should’ve sat down like mature adults and talk about this. We acted on emotions instead of logical thinking. You are not sneaky, you’re truthful, loving, faithful. You do so much for us, love us so much, support us to no end and we threw it into your face like assholes. We hate ourselves for what we have done to you. But if you give us a second chance, let us prove to you that we are not assholes.” Hoseok spoke up, tears streaming down his face.

Biting your lip, you thought for a moment.

You love these seven idiotic, dumbass, loving boys. You know that they are sorry, you know them like the back of your hand, like how they know you. You also know that everyone makes mistakes and do deserve a second chance. This is the first time that something like this has happened, it is not like it is a reappearing thing. At the end of the day, you see yourself with them for forever. And at the end of the day, you know that you love them with all of your heart.

“You guys are lucky that I love you so much,” your voice broke at the end, and you knew that they heard you. In a split second, you found yourself wrapped up in their arms, breaking down into a sob.

“We love you so much, Jagi,” Namjoon mumbled into your forehead, kissing it right after.

“Forever and always,” you said back.

[marina-roslinka]

This is my first time writing something like this, so it's a little bit sht, but I'm posting it anyway since I promised it to you guys. 

Michael, Trevor, and my rant.

The first thing I want to say about those characters is that I believe they meant to be together, they cannot exist without each other. Yes, I know it sounds like cheesy line from romantic novel. But before you roll your eyes, let me explain.

Let’s remember their signature colors: blue and orange. You see, I think they play a big part in understanding them as individuals and as a relationship and their dynamics. You can read about the color analysis here if you like to.

I personally want to look at it from a little different perspective. To be more precise about elements Fire and Water: Trevor represents fire and Michael is water of course.

Those two men have a different understanding of what life is supposed to be and what it means to be alive. Trevor being a fire element is always trying to rile up Michael, making him angry and emotional like himself.

Michael on the other hand obviously thinks that Trevor is too much, that he needs to calm down and too bright, too hot, that eventually, he will burn not only himself but also everyone else around.

We see examples of that a few times throughout the game. For example when he tried to convince Trevor to change his current lifestyle and “grow up” and it’s not good for him.

“M: Alright man, here we go. Tough love time. T: I'll take it tough, I'll take it sissy, I'll take it any way you're giving it. M: When you gonna get it together, bro? Most guys as they get older, they pull their foot off the gas. T: You always did like to judge people. M: I ain't judging, I'm trying to help. T: Help with what? You think I need help 'cause my lifestyle is worse than everyone elses? M: The speed, the horniness, the killings. T: You kill, and you satisfy your urges - only you think you're above everything. Tough love time! M: Fine. Fine! You think what you like. But you know I care, and you know I tried.”

Going back to the whole "They can't exist without each other" thing.

Why?

Too much fire you will burn. Too much cold, you will freeze. This is the exact reason why I think that they need each other. To create a balance. Again, you can clearly see this in the story. Michael is depressed, sad and bored out of his mind by the pool.

Trevor is crazier than ever with no direction and no purpose. Just pure chaos.

“T: Mas o menos. Michael didn’t have a nerve back then. I didn’t have a direction”

It’s obviously not perfect since they both are fucked up people.

You can describe Michael's attitude towards Trevor with the same example. You can love fire for numerous reasons, right? You can look at and feel calm, feel warm or maybe it helps you to reflect on yourself. However, fire is also very dangerous. It can be unpredictable. One spark can light the fire and it may not even possible to stop it.

But Michael is able to.

Throughout the game Michael said and done things that made Trevor very angry. Like, other people would have been dead angry. He can make him change his mind or even stop him from killing someone. Because, as I said, he represents water.

This is why I believe that Michael’s fear of Trevor is not usual. He is afraid of those big sparks that out of his control like when he betrayed him for example. He was afraid Trevor would find him and kill him. Part of him believes he deserves it because of all the guilt. Trevor is the face of karma and he came back to collect the debt.

However, thirty seconds in the car since they left the house he felt that everything is ok and that he is not in any danger so he had no problem with insulting and overall being an asshole to Trevor right away.

Unfortunately things not that easy and simple as always. They can be good for each other just as bad. Fire can be dangerous to water and water can be dangerous to fire. (This is why Trevor doesn’t like to take showers xD) It reminds me of all those scenes when they get angry at each other, but stepping away so they won’t hurt one other.

I am going to leave Fire/Water here, just keep it in mind for the rest of analysis or whatever this is. I’ve never done it :D

Now for the ultimate question. Do I think they love each other or they hate each other?

Well… Just as their history together it's complicated.

The very moment Trevor pulled the trigger of his flare gun with no hesitation, Michael definitely knew that Trevor is a dangerous person. Then he definitely knew Trevor has serious mental issues.

Why did he stick with Trevor before and even after? Well, the most obvious answer is that he just cares about him. They instantly clicked together or as Lamar said “Love at first sight”.

The other thing that played a part in Michael’s affection at the start is that Trevor is like a shining loud toy for Michael's brain. I see M as someone who grasps at every opportunity to experience intense emotions. Trevor is like a walking time bomb that won’t explode around you. It also perhaps made Michael feel special. It’s not healthy but happens to people nonetheless.

I believe that Michael does love Trevor, but he also hates the things that he does and Michael hates himself for still loving someone like Trevor.

“Why do I love him why do I care for him, I'm not supposed to. He is a horrible person. He is a monster. What is wrong with me?”

The other thing is very common for people to have desire to help another person who's hurting. No matter how much messed up they are we still can feel sorry and I'm sure Michael felt the same and still feels the same. This also leads to his frustration about Trevor.

“Why can't you be normal? I had a hard childhood but I didn't turn out that bad”

He’s also repressing his feelings because of internalized homophobia. In addition, it's just frustration on top of frustration on and on.

Michael hates himself for many things he's done. When Trevor came back he got so overwhelmed that all of this just start boiling inside of him. And when you can handle it he just surrenders to the common emotion – anger.

(It seems to me that fans expect Michael to figure out why Trevor is doing this, why he says that what real feelings are behind the words and actions. You know, be the wise one. )

At first glance it may seem that Michael does not care about T and I can see why. Since the game does it like we see Trevor as the one who tells the truth and Michael as the one who lies. Especially on the first playthrough you can easily fall for this little manipulation. Because of this we perceive Michael as a liar. I mean, yeah, he uses lies as a defense mechanism. Therefore, it’s natural for us (and Trevor) not to believe him when he said “I care. I missed you”.

Trevor is a liar too. Yes, I know, shocker.

The most common thing I see people say about Trevor is that he is a loyal person. All because of this rule about “brothers”. Nope. Maybe he likes to say that, but in reality he is not.

Take Brad as an example. Bless him.

Trevor talked about how he planned to stop working with Michael, but pushed him away because he thought he would leave him. If you hang out with Lamar, T admits he was literally going to kill Brad. Not like Michael of course. He wasn’t gonna stab him in the back. Just stab him in the face I guess.

Trevor didn't kill Michael, not because of some creed. It’s just because he still loves him and cares about him. In the core of everything it’s just love.

Trevor is obviously a dick to Michael because he's hurt so much. Can you imagine how painful it was, to lose the only person you loved and loved you back? Then to find out they betrayed you. Like, Trevor literally thought, Michael was using him from the start. Though, he doesn't hate M, like he said so many times. Trevor hates himself for being this way, for being not good enough, for Michael to choose him. Again and again.

Betrayal.

“M: I don’t know, man, I’ve made such a mess of things. Constantly…my whole life. Chase things. Get them. Hate them. Chase things, get them, hate them…”

I feel like often people don’t even consider Michael's feelings or mental issues. Trevor also says very hurtful words to M. Yes, he understands the reason behind Trevor’s anger, but this doesn’t negate the fact those words hurt a lot. I mean, he was even offended by the fact T didn’t hug him. As usual, he cannot cope with feeling of guilt and everything again comes down to aggression.

I also want to remind, that despite the killings, Michael didn’t abandon Trevor. He was even letting him to see his children. Also name Tracey is suspiciously similar to name Trevor. Isn't it a display of love? Can you imagine how many times Michael forgave T for doing something crazy?

Well, Michael was just afraid of Trevor hurting him or his family if he tells T they’re done.

Trust me, if M didn’t give a shit about his best friend, he would’ve just killed him.

However, Michael and Trevor's relationship before Ludendorff wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

I personally think there were four main reasons:

    1. He was just tired of living the way he did.     2. Safety of his family.       3. The FBI breathed down their backs and suggested him a ticket to freedom.

 In fear of losing Michael Trevor pushed him even more. Most likely thought their relationships could only last if they were connected by the partnership. An example of this is Trevor’s negative reaction to Michael's words that he wants to be done with robberies and make movies.

  “T: I could feel like I was losing you, so I pushed you harder. I thought that how to keep you in the game and I didn’t want to lose you. I’ve said it already, haven’t I?”

 4. As ironic as it may be, in the desire not to lose Michael, Trevor himself turned out to be the last drop, for his best friend’s decision.

Conclusion: they should stop being dumb-dumbs and be honest about how they really feel.

And therapy. A lot of therapy. 

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin🌪(8)

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 3180

“it doesn’t mean anything and you know that”. soobin follows you while you were storming out of the building during dismissal. you weren’t angry at soobin. you were just tired of being humiliated and you hated how this situation dropped your self confidence. 

“whatever soobin I don’t want to hear it anymore”. 

“why are you so upset? i know you aren’t the type to give a fuck about something like this. so why are you like this now?”. 

you stop your journey down the sidewalk just to calmly walk towards him. he was curious to what you had to say. you folded your arms and looked at him seriously. 

“why are you defending this list so much soobin? why don’t you want me to be upset? making a ranking system based on someone’s looks is childish and whoever made it is heartless and cruel”.

“you can’t get angry over someone else’s opinion”,

“there you go again”.

“what?”.

“you’re defending it rather than talking about how heartless it is for someone to do something like that”.

“I’m just sa--”.

“did you have something to do with the list soobin?”. it made you even angrier at how he was staring at you. you saw the guilt in his eyes.

“did you have something to do with it soobin? admit it and don’t lie to me”.

“I don’t want you to--”.

“admit it soobin”.

finally realizing that he had no room for argument here he sighs, holding his head down. he knew he wouldn’t be able to look you in yours eyes and tell you the truth.

“yes”. he answers under his breath but too faint for your ears.

“yes soobin? did you say yes?!”. 

he brings his head up giving you a melancholic expression. you admit you never saw him like this and you hated it. but he was an asshole. and he had to know that. 

“yes I did”. 

“are you kidding me right now?! are you really that shallow soobin?!”.

“I didn’t make it alone it was me and the guys”. 

“so what! so because you all made it together that automatically makes you the good one?”.

“that isn’t what i’m trying to say”.

you scoff and continue walking the other way to your house. he follows you like a puppy, grabbing your wrists. 

“what soobin? I don’t want to talk to you anymore”.

“please I’m sorry alright? I’m sorry”,

“sorry doesn’t cut it soobin! you know how many hearts you probably shattered today? did you think this was going to be something everyone in the school was going to get a kick out of!? You think this was really going to be the laughing stock of the entire school?!”.

“no I didn’t th--”.

“you don’t think about anything! clearly! do you know how hard it is for a girl in high school to have self confidence? do you know how hard it is for us to have a high self esteem?! do you know how much we tear ourselves down every day?! and for you to come to school one morning and tell a bunch of these girls that they are beyond undesirable just because you and your idiot friends don’t like the way they look is disgusting and it’s selfish! you should be ashamed of yourself!” . you screamed, storming off once again with tears in your eyes. you couldn’t believe him. how could he be like this?

for the first time in soobin’s high school career he felt horrible for what he’d done. “can you just forgive me please?”. he begs. the only reply he received  was your silence while you walked the rest of your way home. He stood there and wallowed in your absence. 

he bursted open the school doors surprised to still see a crowd by the bulletin board. “move out the way”. soobin directed, cutting in the middle of the crowd that was reading the rankings over. soobin took the poster by it’s corners and ripped it from the wall. he ripped it all the way until it was in the smallest of pieces and toss it in a trash nearby. The crowd watched his actions in shock looking for a reason behind them. 

soobin sped home and slammed the door to his room. he didn’t know how to cope with his anger so he began throwing things around his room until he felt comfortable enough to cry. he sat against his closet wall with his knees to his chest and allowed his tears to flow like they never had before. you told him that you never wanted to talk to him again, and it hurt him more than he thought. 

your tears were flowing just as much as his. but you had different reasoning. you knew soobin was a menace but you didn’t know he’d stoop to this level. and to be able to make it so that it effects you big time? your heart wrenched. but you couldn’t allow your pain to be shown amongst your parents or else they’d find out about soobin. and even though you said you never wanted to talk to him again you still didn’t want your parents to know about you two. It was weird settling in your room and not having anyone to talk to. it came to a point where you didn’t know if you were crying because you got humiliated today or because you missed soobin.

maybe a little bit of both.

you hated what he’d done but most importantly you shoved him away from you. you wanted soobin in your life more than anything, he’d just have to be willing to change his ways. and soobin knew it which is why he was rejecting calls from his friends for the rest of the day. he knew they’d be mad at the rankings poster being removed but he didn’t give a damn. he woke up in the middle of the night with the intentions to pee but soon it wasn’t just that. his loneliness was eating him alive and it only reminded him of how much he missed you. he couldn’t take it anymore.

he threw on his sneakers and grabbed a jacket before he hopped in his car and raced to your house. he stepped out and took a glance. there was one of many windows that could’ve been yours. in one of them he could make out a tv across from a bed that was much too big to fit one person so he figured that was your parents’ room. He chose another window and scooped up some pebbles from the ground and threw them as much as he could. It took about fifteen pebbles to wake you. it was like a rattling sound against your window and it was annoying the hell out of you. you approached your window and open it trying to see if there was some nearby tree branch brushing against it. but it wasn’t. it was soobin.

“what are you doing here?”.

“can you come down here so we can talk? please?”. he pleaded. you sigh and shut your window. he was lucky tomorrow was saturday. you slide your robe across your shoulders and slip on some slippers before trying to make your way to the front door with silence. you shut the door gently behind you and turn to see soobin, just a few feet away from your doorstep. he looked tired and stressed.

“you don’t have to say anything. I know how angry you are and you have every right to be. you probably felt like shit after what kevin said to you and i’m sorry. i tore the poster down from the bulletin board--”.

“tearing the poster down won’t mean that everyone forgets about what it said and the numbers they were ranked in. you messed them up in the head soobin. do you know that? why are you even here right now? because i hope it wasn’t because you wanted to tell me that”. 

deep breaths soobin, deep breaths.

“I came here because I realized how I feel about you--you’re the most beautiful girl i know and i’d never want to hurt you over some stupid shit like that. And I want you to forgive me”.

you purse your lips. you couldn’t believe he was even saying something like this.

“soobin I don’t know. that was a really bad thing for you to do”.

“I know and I feel horrible about it. but i can’t last a day knowing that you’re angry with me.  you said you didn’t want to talk to me anymore and i couldn’t stomach it. please just what do you want? I’ll buy you ice cream i’ll buy you chocolate--i’ll get on my knees in front of the whole school and beg for you to talk to me again just please forgive me”.

your heart ached at how cute soobin was. and yes, he was exactly like a puppy who lost their best friend. it had only been eight hours and he was a wreck without you. you sigh.

“fine soobin. i’ll forgive you. but i don’t want to hear you doing anything like this again. do you understand?”. 

soobin smiles and runs to pick you up as if you were a child. he planted non stop kisses on your cheek and you wanted to stay serious but he was so cute you had to laugh. 

“soobin!”. 

you shout and he still kissing both of your cheeks simultaneously.

“soobin! I said do you understand me?”.

he looks at you with that dumb grin again. you wanted to smack him. 

“yes i understand”. 

“alright then let me go soobin. it’s been a long week and i’m tired”. 

you command trying your best to undo his grip. he lets you go and you turn back to into your house until soobin grabs your hand.

“stay with me tonight”. 

“soobin you know I can’t do that”. 

“come on just tell your parents you left early in the morning because someone invited you to a mass or something. it works trust me i’ve done it before”.

“soobin--”. 

“please?”. he asks again, he didn’t want be in his house alone. you blow your breath again. 

“well at least let me get some clothes”. soobin smiles and nods giving you the okay, telling you he’d be waiting for you in his car. you couldn’t believe you were doing something like this. you knew teenagers did crazy things at your age but you never thought you’d be apart of that bunch. 

you were sitting on soobin’s bed and he was glad that the maid was kind of enough to clean his room while he was asleep. he would die if you saw how truly angry he was when you were mad at him. soobin takes his sneakers off and turns his tv on. he lazily stepped up the platform and made himself comfortable underneath his blankets. he felt much calmer now that you were here. you sit your bag down and tiredly kick your slippers off at the door. soobin watches you, you were moving too slow for his comfort. you slip off your robe and hang on the hook behind his door. soobin immediately sits up when he sees your attire. 

you were wearing your normal pj’s, shorts and a tank top, but soobin had never saw you showing so much skin. your body was so gorgeous to him. of course, you think nothing of it you step on the platform and slide into the space next to him. you pull the pillow closer to your face and lay on it wearily. 

“so you don’t want to look at me?”. 

you turn your body so you were now facing him and you pluck him on the nose.

“shut up. i want to sleep”. you mumble. he pulls you closer to him and wraps his arms around you. you felt swaddled and warm. it helped you sleep better too but you weren’t going to admit that to soobin. He kisses you on your forehead before he falls asleep himself.

but waking up for him was weird. he could’ve slept longer especially since it was raining but he also felt something warm and wet underneath him. he thought maybe it was a dream. but as he moved around it felt too real. he got out of bed and lifted the blankets. 

to his horror there was a huge blood stain between you and where he was laying. he wasn’t mad at all actually, he was just quite shocked that girls could bleed that much. you were pretty much knocked out cold so soobin figured he should let you rest since it’s been a tough week for you. he grabs a hoodie and glides his feet into his nike slides before getting to his car. 

there was a little convenience store down the street and he hoped they had what he needed. upon entry he approaches the cashier with an awkward wave. The old woman smiles and nods. “How many I assist you today?”. she asked kindly. soobin takes a deep breath before he says it. 

“do you guys have those things that girls bleed inside of?”. 

the woman looks at him with a confused expression, “Do you mean pads? tampons?”. 

“yeah those”.

“the feminine hygiene products are in the aisle behind you”. soobin turns and gives her a swift thank you before strolling down the aisle. And god, was he shocked at these things. First he wondered why there was so many different kinds of everything. He picks up a box of ultra flow tampons. he glares at the picture of them on the box. 

“why the fuck do these things have a shell?”. he uttered. he tucks it his arm though just in case. he strolled down a little further and saw the pads which, for whatever reason to him anyway, had thousands of versions as well. His mind was spinning, how would he know whether to get you the big ones or small ones? he didn’t know what size pussy you wore. 

“how am i supposed to know the size something i’ve never fucking seen?”. he grumbles and just snatches the purple packaged ones because of the color. soobin hadn’t had any sisters himself so he didn’t know too much. but he definitely heard his dad complaining about the way his mother used to act when she was on her period. 

he figured maybe he should get you sweets. you were pretty calm when he fed you ice cream the other day. he snatches up some ice cream pints and candy on his way back to the register. 

it was a hassle taking the sheets off the bed while you were on them. by far the hardest task he ever did in his life but he refused to put you on the floor. he successfully did it though and rolled the sheets into a ball before tossing them into the hallway. He was surprised you were still sleeping the way you were. 

he goes into his bathroom and runs some bathwater. he remembered that his mother kept scented body wash and lotions in the bathroom she shared with his dad so he took some of those and sat them on his bathroom sink. finally, he wakes you up. he didn’t want to but it was best that you got cleaned. he gave you a few soft shakes and you flutter your eyes open, forgetting that you were even at his house. 

“hey you had an accident so i left some clean towels and body wash in the bathroom for you”. 

“accident?”. you question sitting up. you raised the blankets but there was no sheet beneath you. “what do you mean accident?”. you ask again, not feeling the blood leaking down your shorts until now. you cover your face in complete embarrassment.

“oh my god this is so humiliating! my cycle must have changed”. 

“don’t be humiliated. shit happens. get cleaned up so you can come downstairs with me. you can put your soiled clothes in the pile with my bedsheets and the maid will take care of it”. 

he tosses a couple of items on the bed beside you. 

“I also bought you whatever these things are. I don’t know which one you need but you can keep the both of them. there were far too many to choose from anyways”. 

you plucked up the items wondering how in the hell you were lucky enough to get a guy--soobin at that--to get hygiene products he didn’t even know the name of. he walked out of the door giving you privacy before you could even thank him.

you sigh and make your way to the bathroom. you looked in the mirror to see a huge blood stain in the back of your shorts. you wondered why everything that could possibly go wrong for you in life, went public. On the bright side though, it was a rainy day and you needed this hot shower more than anything else in the world. 

you were happily walking down the stairs in the outfit you packed for yourself. soobin was standing in the living room in front of the wide screen tv with a remote and a card in his hand. you sit down on the curved sofa behind him. 

“what are you doing?”. 

“I’m trying to pay for netflix. I swear if they ask me for my email address one more time I’m going to throw this fucking tv out the window”. he raged. you laughed because you knew he was serious.

“you don’t have a netflix account already?”. 

“no. i don’t usually watch tv like that”. 

you take one of the fuzzy blankets next to you and cuddle with it. 

“so why are you paying for it now? that’s a waste of money”. 

“because you’re here now and we can watch movies together”. he says reading the ‘Payment successful’ notice scrawled across the tv. he was prompted to make a profile which he did fairly quickly. “do you want me to create your profile too?”. his eyes were still glued on the screen.

“no soobin”. you mutter into the blankets. you probably weren’t going to use it anyway. you stared at him in the meantime. he was so sweet, cute, and well dressed. The necklaces he wore always made him cuter. Just a while ago you hated soobin’s guts and now here you were. you knew your parents would never permit this relationship but you couldn’t help but to get attached. he was the first guy you’ve had in your life. 

“i figured periods probably hurt so i got some snacks for you”. 

you pouted in awe when he handed you the bag of ice cream and candy. it was the sweetest thing he could’ve done. 

“thank you soobin”. 

he sits on the couch and puts his feet sideways, snatching you back so that you were sitting in between his legs. he cuddled you gratefully. he didn’t deserve you and he knew it.

[gendercraft]

When I Fell Overboard [Chapter Two: Sage & Raspberry Tea]

Read on ao3 

Synopsis: Sebastian struggles with his relationship with Maru as she strives to get close to him. Meanwhile, he and Elliott get closer and closer.

Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, fighting, snapping, potentially unsympathetic Robin, crying, food mention, let me know if I missed anything please

Rain pounded on the thin roof. Sebastian pressed his face to the pillow, not wanting to open his eyes. He was so comfortable. The air was cold, the blanket was thin, and he couldn’t stop shivering, but he didn’t want to move. There was a smell that engulfed him, like parsley and sage, and fresh raspberry tea. 

A cold draft swept through the cabin. Sebastian curled tighter and cracked his eyes open, only to jerk upright. Elliott had fallen asleep at his desk, the oil lamp illuminating his pronounced features. His long auburn hair fell in cascades down his shoulders, over the desk. It looked so soft. 

Shit. Shit. He’d stolen this man’s bed. 

He got to his feet and found his shoes, quietly lacing them up. He flicked up his hood and cautiously approached Elliott. He snored when he slept. Cute. 

“Elliott,” he whispered, shifting uncomfortably. He hated waking people up. People got angry when they were woken. “Elliott, you should get in bed.” 

“Hm?” He brushed his hair out of his face and settled more comfortably on the desk, humming. 

Sebastian hesitated, then grabbed his shoulder and gently shook him. Elliott’s eyes cracked open. He smiled. 

“Oh, Sebastian.” He slowly sat up and stretched, a yawn forcing its way past his lips. “Mm, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” 

“Better,” Sebastian admitted. If only he wasn’t so fucking cold. “But I’m sorry for taking your bed.” 

He waved his hand. “Nonsense, I insisted. Oh, you’re shivering! Let me get you one more cup of tea before you leave, okay? Give you time to wake up, too.” 

Sebastian blushed. “Are you sure?” He asked as Elliott crossed into the kitchen. “You’ve already done so much—” 

“Please.” He smiled, half in the kitchen and half in the cabin. “It’s the least I could do in exchange for some lovely company.” 

Sebastian sat in Elliott’s abandoned writing chair—just plain wood, pretty uncomfortable—and nodded. Elliott came back a few minutes later with a steaming mug and a green wool blanket. He handed Sebastian the mug and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. 

“There you go.” Elliott picked his hairbrush up off the desk and sat on his bed as he began methodically bringing it through his long hair. 

Sebastian watched his hands move, that and the tea and Yoba this blanket smelled like him too, almost lulling him back to sleep. 

“What time is it?” He asked. 

“Almost midnight.” 

“Shit,” he mumbled. “Mom’s gonna be pissed.” 

Elliott raised an eyebrow. “You are an adult, Sebastian. You’re allowed to stay out as late as you want.” 

Sebastian looked up in surprise. “What? No! I mean, yeah, obviously, just…” 

“Just what?” 

“Nothing. She just gets worried.” 

“Well, I can’t say that’s unjustified. You did sleep for a long time. If you don’t mind me asking…” He hesitated. 

Sebastian gestured. “Just say it.” 

“What triggered the attack? I haven’t seen one that bad in years.” 

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. “Uh… I got in a fight. With my sister, and Mom.” 

“Maru?” 

“Mhm.” 

“What were you fighting about?” 

He wet his lips. He busied himself with sipping at his tea until half of it was gone, scalding his throat. He could use a cigarette, but he didn’t want to smoke in Elliott’s cabin without permission. “It’s dumb.” 

“It upset you,” he pointed out. “How could that be dumb?” 

Because I’m dumb. “It just was. It was a stupid joke, she didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“I have a hard time believing you’re giving me all the details,” he said softly, “but I won’t pry.” 

Sebastian hesitated, then stumbled through a, “Thank you, um… for the- for the help. It was… I mean, that was more than… Thanks.” 

“It was a pleasure, Sebastian. I’m glad you’re feeling better. You’ll let me loan you an umbrella for the walk home?” 

Sebastian finished his tea and set the mug on the desk. “You really don’t have to do that.” 

“Who said I did? I want to.” 

Elliott and Sebastian had barely said two words to each other before now. The most they saw each other was at Pierre’s and festivals. The last one, the luau, Sebastian spent the whole of it avoiding everyone while Elliott talked up as many people as he could. Elliott somehow always arrived late to that one, forgetting the date until he stepped right into it. He was both nothing like Sebastian expected, and exactly what he expected. 

He was softer. Kinder. Less absorbed with himself. Sebastian had a bad habit of assuming the worst in people; when he saw Elliott, he saw an overdramatic airhead. Guilt settled in his stomach like bile. He was probably the nicest man in Pelican Town. 

“I should get going.” Sebastian stood, draping the blanket over the back of the chair. 

Elliott nodded. He picked up an umbrella from the corner of the cabin and held it out. Sebastian reached out to take it, only for Elliott’s other hand to close around his. 

“About what happened with Maru,” he said softly, and Sebastian stared at him with wide eyes, “you should be a little kinder to yourself. You’re allowed to have feelings.” 

Butterflies fluttered in Sebastian’s stomach. He swallowed as Elliott took his hand back, and all the electricity with it. 

“I’ll try,” he lied. 

Elliott walked him out, and Sebastian raised the umbrella. It wasn’t too terribly windy, so he was able to hold it with one hand and smoke a cigarette with the other. He held it between two fingers, closing his eyes as his sneakers clacked over the cobblestone bridge. 

Why was he disappointed to leave? Sure, he was pleasantly surprised about the type of person Elliott turned out to be—but missing him? They just met, really. And what was there to miss? All Sebastian did was steal his bed. 

Sebastian kicked a rock. You stole his bed. He stomped out his cigarette and dropped his face in his free hand. Idiot. 

There was something about when Elliott touched him—Elliott was so free with his touches, who was like that?—that made everything quiet. His heartbeat sped up, his cheeks flushed, his mind blanked. Was he really that pathetic? Getting all gay over a few small touches? 

And for Elliott. Sebastian was never sure about his sexuality, never really cared much, but if he ended up liking guys he certainly never expected them to be like Elliott. There wasn’t really anyone in Pelican Town he could imagine himself with. The only people he even respected were Sam and Abigail, and maybe Abigail would’ve been the perfect fit if—if what? That was always the question mark. If what? He guessed it might be if she were a guy. 

Was he really gay? 

He shook his head. One night and he was questioning his entire non-existent sexuality. 

When he arrived home, he opened the door as quietly as possible, closing the umbrella and shaking it off outside. He wiped his feet on the mat and when the lights came on, he jumped ten feet in the air. 

“Sebastian.” His mom came over and gripped his shoulders, looking him all over. “Do you have any idea what time it is? What’s the matter with you, scaring us like that?!” 

“He’s home?” Maru called from her room. The door opened and her footsteps rushed out. 

Sebastian scowled and looked away. “Yeah, I’m alive,” he snapped. “And I’m fine. Can I just go to my room?” 

“Why do you have to be so hostile all the time?” Mom asked in exasperation. “You scared me sick and here you are, still snapping at me.” 

Maru sighed and leaned against the wall. 

He didn’t realize until now, but he was still mad about this morning. He’d forgotten. 

“Do we have to talk about it again?” He asked, shoulders slumping. “I get it. I can’t take a joke. I sleep too much. I’m sorry, okay? Am I good to go?” 

Mom frowned deeply. “Sebby…” 

He sighed and slipped away from her, passing Maru on his way to the basement. He descended down the steps and half-slammed his bedroom door closed, turning the lock even though no one had ever come after him. Well, if the door was loud enough, Demetrius might come down to scold him. Whatever. 

He sat at his computer and pulled on his headset. It was close to one by now, but he wasn’t sleepy. He might as well get some work done. He put on some music and brought up his latest project, working through the code slowly and meticulously. 

About a half hour later, someone knocked at his door. It took a minute or two of them knocking for him to even realize, pulling his headset off and listening with a frown and drawn brows until they knocked again. 

He grimaced and went over to pull open the door. 

Maru stood there, her deep brown skin flushed a russet red in the cheeks, lip worried between her teeth. 

“Can we talk?” She asked. 

Sebastian hesitated. “Sure. What is it?” 

She waited, he wasn’t sure what for. He gestured for her to get on with it. She rolled her eyes and stamped her foot—and they call me childish—then said, “I just think we should be done fighting, okay? It’s starting to affect Robin and Dad.” 

Sebastian kept his expression blank, hiding a frown. “What do you mean?” 

“I heard them talking, after you left. You’re stressing them out, Sebastian. We’re stressing them out.” Then, she said with a hint of arrogance, “And I don’t think that’s fair to them. Do you?” 

He scowled. “Of course not.”

“So…” She gestured to him. 

“What?” He asked in annoyance. 

She sighed again, hard. “I’ll go first, then. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the jokes and whatever else set you off. And I’ll try to—” 

“Listen?” He asked harshly. 

“Yes, actually. I’ll try to listen more.” 

He shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, okay. I mean, I’ll believe it when I see it, you know.” 

“Right. And?” 

“And…” He crossed his arms, looking away. “I’m sorry, too,” he mumbled. 

“What was that?” She grinned. 

He glared. “Fuck off, Maru!” 

“Yoba, we’re off to a bad start. I’ll be quiet this time, I promise.” 

“I’m sorry for snapping,” he snapped. “Are we good?” 

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Seb- Sebastian.” 

He faltered. “Uh— Yeah. Goodnight.” 

She left. The door clicked closed softly. His hand hovered over the lock, then left it. He plopped back in his chair. 

What was that? 

He didn’t get to bed until eight a.m., when everyone else was waking up. He laid under the covers with burning eyes as laughter echoed from upstairs. They were eating breakfast together, no doubt. If Sebastian went up there, would they ask him to join? 

No. They probably wouldn’t. 

He curled in on himself and closed his eyes. He never realized how bad his room smelled. What did he have to do to get it to smell like sage and raspberry tea? And what did he have to do to be a part— 

No. That was not what he wanted. 

He thought back to the hand closed over his, the umbrella underneath. It was so warm. When was the last time he held someone’s hand? He loved Abigail and Sam, but they weren’t super touchy-feely. The only time Abigail offered physical affection was during comforting, and Sam was uncomfortable with it full stop. Sebastian’s skin tingled. He craved a body beside him and he didn’t know why. Why did he crave it like he was starved for it? Why did he wonder if he could even go on if he didn’t get a hug right that instant? 

His eyes watered. Stupid. He was so pathetic, a baby. A hug was really what broke him? The nail in the coffin of his mental state? 

What would it be like to hug Elliott? To bury his face in his neck, rest his head on his broad chest? His arms wrapped tight around his frame, Sebastian’s arms wrapped around him? 

Stop. Stop being creepy. Stop. 

Sebastian buried his face in the pillow. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t sure what made him so awkward, so weird, so rude, so creepy, but he hated it. He hated who he was. And for some reason the only thing he could imagine could make him feel better was a hug he was never going to get.

I'll post the next chapter once I get one (1) comment <3 reblog please 

[thdorkmagnet]

Heyo everyone!! Happy National Hug Day!! Haha, so when I heard the news that today was all about one of the greatest forms of affection that exists, I of course had to take advantage of it and write a Starco short to celebrate! Haha I mean hugs are like 90% what that ship is. Maybe 91? I don’t know I’m too tired to do math XD So anyways I hope you all enjoy and I hope you all have someone in your life who you can celebrate today with a hug of your own. But if not, then please settle for my internet hugs.... *HUGS~~!!!* 

Oh and just so everyone knows this takes place in my Light of the Sun and Stars AU. Okay thanks, enjoy. 

Today had felt like it would never end. 

Star couldn't remember the last time she had been this exhausted from royal duties. When she had been filling in for her parents the days had been long and hard but she had thought those days were behind her. Now she had plenty of friends to help her and lend her a hand. Except today.

Today had been a disaster the moment she woke up. Between helping plan renovations on poor Monsters homes as part of her Wellness Act and judging some art contest or whatever for her parents, Star already had a full day of work. But on top of that the MHC had decided again to have another 'emergency meeting' and throw off her whole schedule. The 'emergency' was nothing more than a few rumors circulating about Monsters trying to overthrow the Mewmans. It had taken everything Star had in her not to roll her eyes. Did these guys seriously believe everything they heard on the Mirror Web? She managed to disprove all of the accusations but that had taken hours and she had been forced to endure so, so many lectures on why treating Monsters equally was a bad idea.

By the time she finally got back to Mewni she was ready to explode with anger. And she still had a few hours of work ahead of her. 

Finally, Star’s endlessly long day drew to a close, the blonde royal never happier in her life to see the sun set on the horizon even if she sadly missed the chance to watch it with Marco. By the time she was finished with all her work stars had begun blinking into view in the inky black sky above. But Star didn’t care about any of that, all she wanted to do was get to her room and rest, maybe sleep for the next hundred years or until Marco gave her a kiss to wake her, whichever came first.

The girl’s whole body was slumped forward as she trudged through the halls to her room, moving at a pace that would make a snail look like a track star. Her feet ached, her eyelids felt so heavy it was a constant fight to keep them open, and her hair was a tangled, frizzy mess. But none of that mattered right now because with every step she was getting closer and closer to her bed. The very thought of being enveloped in her warm sheets made her sigh in longing. 

She managed to get into her room without falling asleep on the floor and she closed the door leaning heavily against it. She smiled at her brightly lit room, thinking to herself, it’s good to be home. But before she could crawl over to her bed, she heard a familiar voice call her name. Star turned to be greeted by a smiling face and bright, brown eyes, which hovered mere inches away from her, hopping up and down in excitement. The splash of red that covered the top half of his body seemed to express his exuberant mood perfectly and his spinning suns were almost hypnotizing with their glow.

“Hey Marco,” Star greeted as cheerfully as she could, though she lacked the energy for enthusiasm.

Marco didn’t seem to notice his girlfriend’s tired state as he continued hopping around the room. “I’m so glad you're back! I could barely wait for you to get back!”

Star grinned tiredly at her boyfriend, rubbing at her eye numbly. “Oh why? Is there something going on?” 

Marco giggled as if she had just said the funniest thing he had ever heard. “Did you forget what today was?” 

She tried not to gaze longingly at her bed and forced her eyes to remain focused on Marco, wanting to give him the full attention he deserved, even if she didn’t feel up for it right now. She blinked, taking way too long for her brain to register his question and struggled to form any coherent thought to answer him but nothing came to her lethargic mind. “Is it someone’s birthday?” she guessed, massaging her eyes with her palms.

“No, silly. It’s Thursday and you know what that means…” the boy began, before giving her a sly grin to see if she caught on or not.

Realization hit Star like a train and she gasped. “Date night.”

“Exactly!” Marco exclaimed, pumping his fists into the air, overjoyed his girlfriend had finally remembered. “And you said the other day that for tonight’s date we could go see Ol’ Youthful. It’s said it only goes off once every 37 years and tonight is that night! If we don’t go see it today we won’t be able to again until we’re old!” The boy was again hopping around the room, his excitement too much for him to bare, needing to express his enthusiasm through movement. 

Star took a moment to let all of this sink in, before she bit her lip nervously. “Oh right? That?” she muttered, burying her face in her hands. She had forgotten all about her promise and had instead used up all her energy on dumb stuff like running Mewni instead of the things that mattered, like Marco. The weight of her bad decision pressed down on her chest, making it hard to breathe. She didn’t want to disappoint Marco, not for anything. She would rather die than see the smile fall from his face and she could tell just how much he was looking forward to this. 

But while her heart said one thing, her body disagreed. All her aches and pains over the day’s long, strenuous activities making themselves known, aggressively arguing her desire to please her bestie. She couldn’t physically hold up traveling all the way to Earth, there was just no way. She felt a few disheartened tears leak out of her eyes and drip onto her palms and she wiped them away ferociously with the little energy she had left. 

Then she looked solemnly over to Marco, watching with a heavy heart as he continued bouncing around her room and regrettably opened her mouth to speak. “Uhh, Marco.” She paused, waiting until the hooded teen met her eye and the hope and joy in his expression made her feel like the lowest creature in any dimension. “About date night…” Star didn’t have the heart to finish the sentence, a hand rubbing nervously up and down her arm as she struggled to speak. 

Marco cocked his head to the side and finally took a good, long look at his girlfriend since she entered her room. He noticed the thick bags that hung heavily under her eyes, her shaking legs as if they were struggling to keep her upright, and her slouched form. She looked exhausted and half-dead and all thoughts of date night flew from his head, now solely focused on helping his blonde bestie. “Are you okay, Star?” he asked worriedly, stepping over to her to give her a more thorough examination. Or catch her in case she collapsed.

Star shook her head. “I had a really long day. Like seriously, realllly long. Like all-I-want-to-do-is-lay-down-and-not-move-for-the-next-24-hours long. And I just don’t think I have it in me to go see that young thing you were talking about.”

“Ol’ Youthful?”

“Yeah,” Star said with a nod of her head. She hung her head in shame before muttering sadly, “I’m sorry, Marco. I hate to disappoint you.”

Marco stared at his girlfriend in shock for a moment, before it softened into a loving grin. Without a word he pulled Star into a tight hug, holding her close to his chest and wrapping his arms around her. Star blushed, not expecting the sudden hug and found herself leaning heavily into her boyfriend’s body. Even though Marco wasn’t exactly known as the strongest Mewman alive, far from it, his hold on her was unwavering, holding her upright through sheer force of will, even though Star could feel her legs going out on her, surprising her more than the actual hug had. 

“M-Marco.” she whispered, feeling her heart cheekmarks thumping in time to her heartbeat. 

“It’s okay, Star,” the boy finally said, giving her body a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to feel bad for anything. We don’t have to go see Ol’ Youthful. We can just stay here and rest.”

Star bit her lip, feeling her stomach churn with guilt. “Are you sure? I know you really wanted to see it.”

Marco nodded, still not breaking off the hug. “Yeah, it’s fine. Your health is way more important to me than some geyser.”

“You don’t have to miss it!” Star supplied, pulling out of the hug so she could fix him with a supportive grin, wanting to find some way to make it up to her boyfriend. “I mean just cause I don’t feel like it doesn’t mean you can’t go! I bet Jackie and Janna would want to see it! Heck, I bet if you asked, Tom, Ponyhead, and Kelly would all take you, too!”

Marco stared deep into his girlfriend’s eyes, seeing her burning need to please him and her own lingering guilt buried deep in her stunning pupils. A small, flicker of emotion washed over him, like a tiny, dull heartbeat, whispering to him Star’s true thoughts thanks to their bond. And because of this Marco didn’t even hesitate as he shook his head firmly no, much to his royal friend’s surprise. “No. I won’t go without you, Star. It just wouldn’t be the same. If we can’t both go, then I don’t wanna go at all.”

Star’s gaze softened, unable to hide the flicker of joy that flashed across her face. “Really? Are you sure?”

Marco nodded with no regrets. “Positive. I don’t care what we do, so long as I can do it with you.” 

Star couldn’t hold back the coo as her eyes shined with love and joy. “Awww, Marco!”

Marco gave her a bright grin as he added, “Besides, we can always see the next eruption in 37 years.”

Star giggled, before gently kissing his cheek. “It’s a date,” she replied tenderly.

After that, Marco made a pile of pillows and blankets for the two of them to lay in and rest, while Star fought back against the narrow grip of exhaustion, pushing it back so she could stay awake and be with her favorite person for a bit. Marco lay back on the cumfy cushiony mountain he had crafted, before Star lay down on his chest, the boy holding her close in a warm hug. Star snuggled deep into the soft embrace as her consciousness slowly faded. The seconds ticked by at a slow speed, while the two Mewmans cuddled each other on the floor, their eyes closed, their faces peaceful. 

“Marco?” Star whispered, after a while, her voice sluggish as the last of her mind fought against the exhaustion, needing to know one more thing before she could sleep in peace.

“Hmm?” Marco muttered, his voice ringing with the same life and energy as before but his body still and relaxed. 

“Are you sure you don’t regret this?” Star asked, feeling stupid for asking.

Marco shook his head lazily, before whispering, “Actually, Star. There is no place I’d rather be.” 

And Star knew he meant it.

Star smiled. There was something about Marco’s hold that made Star feel safe and warm. Like she could melt into him and become a part of him, just existing blissfully inside his heart where she no doubt belonged. There were so many uncertain things in Star’s hectic world but as long as her Marco was holding her nothing could touch them, no darkness could enter into the world that existed in their arms. And so, she gave in, sighing happily and snuggling deeper into his hoodie, loving the way the soft fabric tickled her skin before falling into a long, blissful sleep. 

[stevesnailbat]

waiting for (another) girl like you | steve harrington x wheeler!reader

summary: Steve didn’t plan on falling in love with his ex-girlfriend’s little sister, but shit happens.

warnings: angst, past trauma, self-doubt, mentions of death

word count: 2.3K

a/n: this fic was inspired by the ST1 scene where Steve and Nancy were in his bedroom bc waiting for a girl like you by foreigner is one of my favorite songs at the moment and it played during that scene. it might be a little dumb but i enjoyed writing it so enjoy! also the gif used isn’t mine, it’s from google :)

It wasn’t unusual for the Wheeler household to have family dinner on Sunday with the whole family and the kid’s boyfriends and girlfriends. Most of the time, the dining room was filled with happy chatter amongst everyone at the table. The table was still happy for the most part, but it was different for Steve and Y/N this time.

Steve wasn’t sure what was wrong, but Y/N had been dead silent since they started dinner. He felt like he had done something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. She could feel him glancing over to her every few minutes as she stared at her half-eaten food that she lost interest in. She knew he was confused but so was she.

“Y/N, are you alright? Aren’t you hungry, sweetie?” Karen asked from across the table, making everyone look in her direction.

“I’m—I’m fine! I’m really not hungry, that’s all.” she replied quickly, giving her mom a small smile even though she knew she could see right through it.

Her mom gave her a knowing look before turning back to Holly, who was tapping her shoulder frantically. Y/N couldn’t bring herself to look up at Steve, but she knew he was still looking down at her. She nearly winced when his hand reached for her thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze as he finally looked away. It was killing him that he didn’t know what was wrong, but he didn’t want to start something in the middle of a family dinner that could potentially end poorly.

The only thing on Y/N’s mind during dinner was Steve and Nancy, and the fact that she felt like a second pick to her sister in anything and everything. It was enough to make her appetite go away. She couldn’t look at him or her sister without feeling sick, her stomach tying itself into a tighter knot with every minute.

The rest of dinner felt like it took an eternity, and she only stared at her plate for the rest of the time. Steve tried to carry on a conversation with Jonathan while dinner finished up, but Y/N’s sad demeanor was distracting. She was the first to leave the dinner table, excusing herself without letting anyone know. She rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom she shared with Nancy, sliding her back down the wall to sit on the floor next to the toilet.

For the first time all night, she let out a quiet sob. Her thoughts made her dizzy and she felt like she couldn’t see straight, purely out of anger and spite. She knew she didn’t have much of a reason to be so upset, but the thoughts of Steve settling for her had been eating away at her mind for days.

A small knock on the door made her jump as she choked on another sob, her full attention going in that direction.

“Y—Yes?” she said, trying to make herself sound as put together as she could in the situation.

“Y/N, it’s me.” Steve said from the other side of the door, his ear on the door to hear her. “Can I come in?”

“No! Don’t!” she yelled, blocking the door handle quickly as she heard him sigh in frustration. “I—I think you should just go home, Steve. I don’t feel good right now.”

“You felt fine earlier, seriously, Y/N. What’s wrong?” he insisted, but got radio silence in reply. “Well, if you don’t want to tell me, I’ll just wait out here until you decide to let me in.”

“S—Steve, just go home, please.” she whimpered, leaning against the door as she spoke through it.

“I told you, I’m not going home! I’m not leaving you when you’re upset, even if you won’t tell me what I did wrong.” he said, settling down on the floor outside of the bathroom. “I’ll wait for you, even if it means I’m out here all night.”

In that moment, she hated how good of a boyfriend Steve actually was. She felt like she was punched in the gut when he suggested that he did something wrong but couldn’t figure out what it was because she knew he was eating himself alive about. She didn’t really know why she was even mad at him, but she couldn’t help it. Steve truly was wracking his brain for any small details of what he could’ve done wrong in the last day, but couldn’t think of anything. On one side of the door, Steve listened to his girlfriend struggling to hold back sniffles and small sobs. On the other side of the door, Y/N was listening to the words for Waiting for a Girl Like You replay in her mind.

Minutes turned into an hour as they sat on the floor, neither of them daring to acknowledge the person on the other side of the door. Jonathan and El were gone by this point and Mike was in the basement while Karen was trying to get Holly to bed finally. Nancy walked up the stairs to see Steve leaned against the bathroom door, a feeling of guilt running through them both.

“She won’t come out.” Steve sighed when Nancy gave him a sympathetic smile.

Nancy only shrugged when he looked in her direction, not wanting to upset the girl on the other side of the door who was listening intently. Steve ran his hand through his hair and leaned his head against the door as Nancy walked into her bedroom, listening for any sign of Y/N wanting to come out.

“Y/N, please. I just want to talk! We can talk, right?” he pleaded.

“We can talk right here.” she said bluntly as she stared at the wall in front of her, not wanting him to see her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes.

“No, please, baby.” he begged, reaching up for the door handle but stopping himself from trying to open it. “I want to see you, I can’t understand what’s going on unless I can talk to you face-to-face.”

The other side of the door was silent for a moment while Y/N thought about what to do next. She knew how stubborn Steve was, and she knew he wasn’t giving up any time soon. It was useless for her to tell him to leave again, even though she was afraid to tell him how she really was feeling. But, she pushed past her doubts and opened the door, curling up into herself as she did to hide her face.

“I can talk to you face-to-face if you won’t look at me.” Steve joked, nudging her arm softly. “Please look at me. What’s going on?”

“It’s stupid.” she mumbled. “It’s just a bunch of bullshit.”

“W—What?” Steve stammered, taken aback by the word bullshit being muttered to him by another Wheeler sibling.

“This! It’s stupid! Pretending like I don’t think about you dating Nancy? Pretending like I believe that you love me? Pretending like everything’s okay?” she said, finally looking up at him as she threw her arms in defeat. “Do I look like everything’s okay?”

“No—No, you don’t. But I—“

“Are you over Nancy?” she asked abruptly, watching him cautiously.

“Of course I am!” he said immediately, making her sigh in relief that he didn’t take a second thought.

“Do you still love her?” she questioned, the words harder to force from her throat this time.

“No. No. I don’t.” Steve said desperately while staring at her as she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, emotionless. “I love you.”

“Today when we were on the way to my house for dinner, that—that Foreigner song that I love was playing, Waiting for a Girl Like You. I was trying to remember who showed me the song, but I just—I just couldn’t remember for the life of me. But then, you turned the radio station and I saw the look on your face. You looked sad, like someone had just killed a puppy in front of you.” she began, not daring to look at him as she spoke. “That’s when it clicked, Nance showed me that song two years ago. She played it every damn day after things were good again.”

“Y/N, I don’t—“ Steve started, but she held her hand up to cut him off.

“I want to finish, Steve.” she sighed and he nodded quickly, recoiling against the wall. “That was the song you played for her when you guys—you know—did whatever on that night she snuck over with Barb. She was so in love with that song because it was so special for you guys, she told me that she’d never stop listening to it. But—But she did stop. And when she did was when she realized she fell out of love with you. But you—you never fell out of love like she did. You loved her until the end and—and you hate that song because you think that maybe there’s a possibility that you still love her, not me. I was just the closest thing you could get to her.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh under his breath as he shook his head. As much as he wanted to deny it, she wasn’t completely wrong. He didn’t realize that he had continued laughing until he looked up to see the broken expression on his girlfriend’s face.

“Why are you even laughing right now?” she asked, shaking her head as she watched the small smile fall from his face.

“Because—I don’t know, honestly. Maybe because you’re halfway right?” he said, not knowing the answer to his own question. “But, not about still being in love with Nancy, of course. I don’t love her and I haven’t for a while now. I do hate that song, though. But it’s because it reminds me of the last time that my life was good.”

The words bit into her heart like a goddamn demogorgon, hungry to hurt her in any way possible. Steve didn’t mean it in the way that she took it, though. She could tell he didn’t by the look on his face, so she stayed quiet while he paused to take a hitched breath.

“It was that night that I thought my life was on the up and up, but it really wasn’t. It went to shit after that day. We—we killed Barb—“

“You didn’t kill her—“

“Yeah, we didn’t kill her. But we let that thing, that monster, take her because I was stupid and didn’t think of anybody but myself because I was an asshole. Then everything went downhill and my girlfriend fell out of love with me, I didn’t even notice but you know why?” he asked bitterly and she shook her head. “Because I was still holding onto what I thought I had with her. But I was really just holding onto that god-forsaken night, the last night when everything my life alright. And I’d listen to that song too, even after the end I did. When I stopped listening to it was when I realized I had found better things, when I found you.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” she seethed, clenching her jaw to hold herself together.

“But I’m not! Once Nancy broke things off, I—I believed that nothing would ever go right for me. Everyone thought everything was fine, right? Because I had to put on a show for the sake of my family.” he confessed.

His voice finally showing signs of pain as he spoke this time, but he didn’t want to hold back. He was rambling at this point, but it was comforting for both of them in some odd way. His sanity was hanging on by a thread that unraveled just a little more with every tear she let slip, but they were slowing down now.

“I acted like things were okay and held onto that damn night like my life depended on it. Because after that night, I became the best damn actor, I became the best stupid, happy teen boy that Hawkins had ever seen; I even believed the act I was putting on.” he sighed, leaning his head against the wall to stare at the ceiling.

“You were looking for a distraction from your acting and I was convenient.” she replied quietly. “The naïve little sister of your ex who wouldn’t take a second glance at the bigger picture of how stupid it all was, right?”

“No—No. You weren’t convenient at all, really.” he laughed, reaching to graze his fingertips across her knuckles. “It wasn’t easy when everyone was telling me it wasn’t worth it, that it’d be too weird to try to even talk to you, that you probably didn’t want me like I wanted you. But I didn’t listen because I saw that look in your eyes when you smiled at me, you looked happy and—and like you wanted to be with me; I ignored everyone because I knew it was worth it. So no, you weren’t convenient. You were far from it, you kinda still are. I think you’re worth it.”

She still stared at the wall in front of her as she let his words process in her mind, the feeling of his fingers against her knuckles soothing her. He watched as she tore herself apart inside, trying to find her own answers.

“You know you’re not my second choice, right?” he interjected, making her eyes flicker in his direction as he squeezed her hand. “If Nancy wanted me back, I wouldn’t care. I know she came first, but that doesn’t mean shit. I didn’t realize that you were right in front of me and that you’d bring so much happiness to my life.”

“You’re so cheesy.” she scoffed as her heart fluttered when he smiled in her direction.

“It’s true! I swear, it really is, Y/N. I love you.” he said as he moved towards her, taking her head in his hands to look into her eyes.

“I love you too, Steve.” she said softly, smiling at him for the first time all night as she leaned over to kiss him softly.

[angryhausfrau-writes]

I Travel Troubled Oceans: Chapter 16 - In Which Charles Vane Destabilizes the London Real Estate Market and Takes a Bath

Also known as the chapter I finally write the Charles Vane bath bomb scene that is the entire reason I began writing this fic. It still turned out more weird and angsty than I wanted it to. But here we are.

Charles has been acting a bit strange lately. Strange in a way that doesn't match his usual strangeness. In fact, one might say that this new strangeness is completely antithetical to his normal sort of hyper-aggressive, hyper-masculine nonsense.

That's not to say Charles has gone soft. He's still going to the underground bare knuckle boxing ring at least two days a week to bash other toughs' heads in, returning home in the early hours of the morning, bloody and bruised and grinning that feral sort of grin that makes Jack's guts writhe with a combination of desire and fear.

Because Charles Vane is a predator. Leonine in build and appearance, but more than that, he's a hunter. And most people on the other end of that look perish by his blade.

The ones that don't tend to become intimately familiar with an entirely different sort of blade – Eleanor Guthrie being a prime example.

And as much as Jack might enjoy that type of, heh, swordplay, he knows that it's a terrible idea. Particularly now, when the team is so cohesive. Charles and Mary have formed an unexpected but heartening accord with each other and with Max. Jack's own relationship with Max remains cordially businesslike, but that suits them both perfectly fine. And Jack has absolutely no desire to pry into Max and Anne's relationship.

Perhaps the largest surprise is that Charles has not once tried to challenge Jack's leadership, despite Jack having taken his crew and his command and his whole world. But Charles hasn't even really threatened him since that night in the hotel when Jack had first suggested they all settle down. And Jack is grateful. And he is more than disciplined enough to keep it in his pants to prevent ruining the accord they've all reached. More than able to put the con first and everything else second.

So Jack doesn't let the desire show. Keeps to the flippant and easily brushed off type of dialogue he and Charles have always shared. Non-flirtatious by its very flirtatious nature.

And Jack refuses to let the fear show either.

Because Jack has been on the receiving end of that look several times now, and he's still alive and kicking. And, as previously stated, Charles hasn't ever challenged Jack's leadership. And he's too Charles to ever play the sort of long con to disrupt him from behind the scenes that Jack himself prefers to employ. That Jack has employed against him – and isn't that just a tiny jolt of guilt right in the heart?

Completely unrelated to all of that, Jack has started keeping watch out the front window the mornings after Charles goes out. And when Charles comes up the street, stumbling and grinning and flying higher than the pipe ever got him, Jack is there to put a narrow shoulder under his thick arm. There to help him limp through the front door and into the front hall bathroom to collapse on the closed lid of the toilet seat and grin that terrible, frightening, arousing, alive grin up at Jack. Who just dabs at his cuts with the ruined, bloodstained towel he's started keeping in that bathroom solely for that purpose.

And Charles holds still through all of Jack's patching him up and getting him an ice pack for the bruises blooming on his ribs and admonishing him for getting into that state in the first place. And Charles lets Jack lead him up to bed and sit with him for a bit as he falls asleep, Jack brushing his long hair off his forehead so the blood and the sweat doesn't glue it to his skin as he sleeps.

Charles looks so peaceful like this, all tucked into clean sheets, with Jack's hand running gently through his tangled hair. Peaceful in a way he never looked with a needle in his arm. And Jack's honored to get to see him like this. With his guard down. Vulnerable.

Vulnerable is not the word one would have ever used to describe the Charles Vane from the streets. But this Charles Vane, the one who moved into a real house, if under protest. This Charles Vane seems more than content to let Jack and Anne and Mary see a side of him he's never shown before. And Jack keeps that trust close to his heart like a treasure.

But he's always been a greedy sonofabitch, reaching beyond his station, beyond the cards life dealt him by virtue of his birth. And Jack wants more.

--

Jack has kept patching Charles up after he gets back from the fighting ring he joined as a way to keep the pounding of the blood in his veins, the drive to fight and fight and fight until there's nothing in his head and his heart and his arms except the singing of his blood and the cooling tackiness of the blood he spilled. A way of feeling alive. A way of keeping sane that doesn't ruin all their carefully laid plans, all their carefully constructed facades.

It has also conveniently doubled as a way for Charles to keep his ear to the pulse of the street. A way to keep tabs on their former colleagues and competitors. And some outright enemies.

They move in different enough circles, Charles doubts they'll ever end up fighting for turf. But sometimes you need dumb muscle to knock over a mark, drive them further into your arms. Help them understand that they're in danger, but you can help them. You can keep them safe, if only they just trust you.

If only they sign over their soul.

And, and, it's helpful to know what the word on the street is about the rich fuckheads they're trying to con. Cuz sometimes the street knows things about them they don't even know about themselves. Things ratted out and weaseled out and just plain observed by the unfortunates forced to wash their dishes, or clean their houses, or drive their cars, or any number of menial, forgettable tasks that allow the person performing them unfettered access to their vulnerable underbelly that not even eel-slippery Jack or silent watchful Anne or flirtatious Charles have been able to gain access to.

Like, for instance, the fact that the Hennessy family is not nearly so well off as they like to pretend in front of guests. Sure, to the world it's all champagne and caviar and Mediterranean cruises. But Charles is have-a-drink-together-down-the-pub close with a fellow boxer whose wife's cousin's sister is a housekeeper for their big London house. And she knows there ain't hardly money to turn the heat on in winter. Goes to work in three layers and mittens to vacuum the priceless antique rugs and dust the slowly dwindling collection of priceless family heirlooms in the china cabinet and on the cold hearths' mantles.

Which is a good indication that just a little push, just a little pressure to their already cracking facade, and the property could be bought for a song. If only the facade can be maintained. If only there was someone to spin it so they don't lose their place in society. So they don't have to give up the game of pretend they're playing.

So they can pretend they're just going off to live in the relatively inexpensive Maldives because they're sick of English winters and not because the crumbling remnants of British imperial estates can be bought for a comparative pittance. Plus, everyone speaks English so it's properly civilized. Their British friends can be invited for reciprocated holidays without fear of losing face.

That's how Mr. Scott presents it, anyway. With no mention of fact that the islands are being slowly subsumed by the ocean. Not when that's why the deal appears so strongly in the Hennessy's favor. Cuz after all, you get what you pay for.

Charles allowed himself to smirk from the corner as he listens to the sales pitch, having been brought along since he is “friends” with Hennessy's wife, and a gentle hand on her arm, a quiet word about how much he would enjoy visiting their estate in the Maldives - his voice and touch and everything calculated to conjure images of him nude on the beach of said estate, just as Max coached him before the meeting - might do something to sway the conversation. Everyone knows Mrs. Hennessy's got her husband by the balls in a way Anne's admitted to admiring.

But someone like Mr. Scott is more than capable of sealing that particular deal all on his own. Gentle and bland and unassuming Mr. Scott. With skin dark enough and accent pronounced enough the Hennessy's can feel condescending even as Mr. Scott bleeds them dry. But his words are deferential, honeyed, and the facade is maintained. Everyone gets what they want.

So Max is pretty happy with the whole arrangement – with Charles keeping tabs on the London underworld, even if it results in a few scrapes and bruises. Happy with it continuing if he keeps getting results like this. So he'll keep doing it, even if Charles knows Jack isn't as happy.

But Jack's a worrier by nature. The kind of man to think and think and overthink, until he's thought himself into a right tizzy over all the hypotheticals and what ifs and Charles just doesn't understand, cuz he's never been like that. Never borrowed trouble when he's got enough right in front of him.

So Jack worries – mostly about Charles staying safe, he's pretty sure. About him coming home from the fights with cuts and bruises. And not about him blowing the con or anything. Which is kind of nice, really. Charles doesn't think he's ever had somebody worry about him for reasons other than a job. For reasons other than him being strong enough to do the job they need doing.

So Charles lets Jack take care of him, safe in knowing Jack ain't doing it to use against him. And it's nice - especially the getting to drift off to sleep with Jack petting at his hair.

Charles imagines it's like how a mother's supposed to sooth her child to sleep. All tucked into bed in pajamas, with a bedtime story. With the mother staying until he falls asleep, there to keep the monsters in the closet and under the bed away. There to sooth and to love and to care.

Charles never had a mother. Never had anyone to hold him like this, even. To care for him like this.

All his lays, all his fuck buddies – even Eleanor, the closest thing he ever had to a stable relationship – they'd all expected to fuck off as soon as the fucking was over. Or expected him to fuck off as soon as he got his rocks off. There was no lingering, no sentimentality.

And if they ever spent the night, his lovers – Eleanor, mostly – they expected him to be the one to hold them. And he'd expected it of himself, too. He's big and strong and tough. Protective. That's about as soft and sentimental as he'd ever let himself get.

So it's nice to be able to let himself be taken care of by people he knows won't use his vulnerability against him. And that's probably why he lets Jack talk him into taking a fucking bubble bath of all fucking things.

--

Jack has always been the type of person to push his luck. The kind of person who can never leave well enough alone. The kind of person who refuses to be content with what he has, always striving for bigger, for better, for more.

So that's probably why he thought it was a good idea to convince Charles into taking a bath with him one morning.

He's less beat up than usual. No bleeding, minimal bruises. Just that look in his eye that promises... Jack doesn't even want to start thinking about what it might promise.

Yes, absolutely no problem with getting naked together with a man looking like that.

Jack may, in fact, be very, very stupid. But Charles had agreed to the bath, swayed by Jack's argument that it would be relaxing, presumably. That it would help the lingering chill left from the dank parking garage Charles had spent the night in and from the walk home in the early hours of the morning.

And, in true Charles fashion, because that man knows absolutely no shame - and certainly not for anything so mundane as nudity - he'd simply nodded at Jack, proceeded up the stairs and into Jack's en-suite bathroom, and started stripping.

Jack turns away and busies himself with filling the frankly ostentatiously large tub. His doubts are beginning to have doubts about the soundness of this plan. But it's too late. Charles is already climbing into the bath. And the sigh of relaxation he makes as he sinks into the water makes any discomfort Jack feels more than worth it.

Jack's thrown something into the bath that bubbles and fizzes and smells sweetly of lemon and darkly of something spiced that makes Charles a lot more happy about this whole bubble bath idea. He'd been a bit worried he was going to walk out of this thing smelling like an entire fucking rose garden. But it seems like he'll be at most smell like he's taken a walk through a citrus grove, which is bearable. At least until he realizes that not only is the soap turning the water different colors, but there's a shiny slick of gold glitter riding along the top of the water.

Glitter he's sure he's going be washing out of his asscrack in the shower later.

And it seems pretty stupid to him to take a bath where you have to take a shower after. And he bitches to Jack about it. But then Jack's stripping down and getting into the tub, water up to his chin, and the smug look he's giving Charles – the look that says he knows that Charles is enjoying this, even if he won't admit it – that look makes Charles have to splash him with the foaming, sparkling water. There's no other choice really.

And then Jack splashes him back. And Charles just has to put him in a headlock – one tight enough he can't get out of it easily, the slippery bastard. And they're slopping water all over the bathroom floor, but it'll clean up easily enough. It's not like they don't have an overabundance of decadently soft towels in the fucking ridiculous built in linen cupboard.

So they wrestle playfully for a bit, Jack giving nearly as good as he gets despite being smaller. But he's never been afraid of playing dirty – something Charles has always admired – and the roughhousing ends with Jack's arm around Charles's throat. Well, really it ends when Charles sits on him, the only move available that wouldn't actually hurt Jack.

And Jack's arm moves from pressing gently, carefully, against Charles's windpipe down his chest until it's wrapped around his stomach, holding him closer.

Charles slumps down into the water. Leans back against Jack's skinny chest.

And then Jack starts scrubbing through Charles's hair, fingers massaging against his scalp. And that feels. Nice.

Nice enough that when Jack directs Charles to dunk his head underwater, enough to completely wet his hair, enough that Jack could hold him under until his thrashing limbs stopped twitching and he stopped breathing, Charles does it.

Jack guides Charles up out of the water. Guides him to lean back against him. Starts massaging at his scalp again, combing his fingers through Charles's wet hair, working out the strands until they're floating loose around his head like a halo.

They stay like that until the water cools.

Charles gets up and hoses all the fucking glitter off – berating an unrepentant Jack the entire time. But at least he does promise to use bath bombs that don't have glitter in the future. So there's that.

Charles pretends he isn't happy that there will be other times when they get to do this.

And Charles cleans up the disaster of spilled water around the tub while Jack showers. And Jack leads Charles from the bathroom into his bedroom. Lets Charles curl up in his bed.

And despite his halfhearted protests to the contrary, Charles is pretty fucking happy to drift off to sleep to the gentle tug and pull of Jack combing through his damp hair where it spreads across Jack's pillows.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!