#and by love i mean im projecting myself onto it

[puppygirldanhowell]

ray and emma are t4t to ME

[calowlmitygoddess]

my favourite romance trope ever will always be monster/human , specifically dragons, but my biggest pet peeve with this genre/trope is that usually the monster is a male character. Like i get the appeal, specially when its a m/f couple, big stronk man and all that, but what about big stronk monster woman hm?? where are the terrifying girls and their waifish men?? its such a good concept why am i paddling this little boat alone

[gayofthefae]

The only reason Eddie hasn’t known he’s in love with Buck is because he views his view of Buck as obvious, objective fact that therefore doesn’t count as personal attraction and I will die on this hill.

[bambinification]

I feel like it's literally impossible for a cis woman who actually experiences gender euphoria to exist and blog about their life without tumblr shoving one million terfs in their face per day

[mocha-tapioca]

hngah

[darksouls2yuri]

idk sometimes I would simply like to fall asleep

[justmeinadaze]

I Miss the Misery Part 2 (Steve X You)

Part One Here

Warnings: Toxic Daddy Stevie (but he wants to be better)/ Slightly Toxic Fem sub reader, SMUT, dirty talk, rough play, daddy kink (cause im me), choking, spanking, degrading, Slight Fluff, she loves him and he loves her but they both struggle with their feelings, ANGST, Jealous Steve AND Reader, Steve gets drunk after a bad experience with his father (he talks about it; elaborated), They both try to verbally hurt each so they say mean things to each other ( they call each other names, bring up past behavior, etc.) , cliff hanger ending!

Word Count: 7058

It had been a couple of weeks since your incident with your ex Steve Harrington. When you came home that night your boyfriend was still up waiting for you. You talked things through like any normal couple would and that night you both went to bed happy. Well, he did. You laid there for hours replaying the nights events in your head. 

You could still feel Steve’s hands on your hips where he clung to you as he thrust his big, thick cock into you roughly till your eyes rolled back. You could still hear his grunts and pants warming your ear as his sweaty body fell on top of yours. 

But more than anything, you kept going back to the conversation after. 

“Yeah, well, if we’re toxic then I’d rather go down with you than anyone else.”

“I just kept wishing they were you.”

“I feel like we can make this work.”

You had always believed the two of you could make your relationship work but the problem always was that he could never commit to it. He had you for two years in high school and he, quite literally, let you slip away. It wasn’t fair to you for him to think he could just show up one day and you’d drop everything to be with him especially when you knew it would end badly. 

A strong hand reached out from the darkness of an open door and yanked you into the room before slamming it shut. 

“What’s this I’m hearing about you going on a date with Ben Lomax?”, Steve asked sternly as he glared down at you. 

“Well, hello to you to, Harrington. I hope you had a good weekend.”

“Don’t play with me, Y/N.”

“What do you care? We’re not dating right? I can go out with whoever I want to.”

Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you watch his jealously rise. You liked amping him up like this so he’d take what’s his. 

“You’re mine, little girl.”

“Then claim me, Daddy. Make me yours.”

It felt so good having him take control the way he did even though you knew it wasn’t healthy. No… you couldn’t allow him to win this time. This time you needed to do what was right for you and Jacob. Rolling over onto your side, you wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed your face into his back, clinging to normality tightly as you finally drifted off to sleep. 

***

“Hey, baby.”, your boyfriend grinned as you sat beside him at his desk and he handed you some items in a grocery bag. “Thank you for coming by. You know how my mom is. I’d give her back these things myself but this project…”

“I know, honey. You’ve been working really hard.”, you reply encouragingly as you softly smile. 

The smell of his cologne hit you before the sound of his voice. Glancing down the hallway, you watched as Steve argued with someone over the phone as he sauntered confidently towards you both. Your body and attitude prepared for the battle that was sure to come but to your surprise he walked right past you as if you weren’t there. After angrily hanging up his phone, his face changed to a much softer demeanor as he grinned, opening his arms wide as a blond young lady eagerly jumped into them. 

“That’s Mr. Harrington’s new girlfriend I hear.”, Jacob whispers. “She’s a lot younger than him but I guess that’s expected when you have all the money in the world.”

You hadn’t heard a word he said, the fury bubbling in your stomach up to your chest. 

“I can play this game better.”

Fucking asshole. He wants to pretend I’m not here and try to make me jealous, go ahead! I’m not the same girl I was in high school. This won’t work. 

“Baby? Are you ok?”

“Hm? Yeah, sweetheart. I’m fine, just tired.”

“I understand. Hey, tonight we’re meeting at the bar downtown. It’s just going to be the team here. Would you want to go?”

Shifting you gaze their way again, you watched as Steve beamed down at the girl before tenderly kissing her lips. 

“Yeah, I think that sounds fun.”

########

“So Y/N, how is the new book coming along?”, Jacob’s coworker asked as you took a sip from the alcohol in your glass. 

“Good, thank you. I’m having some writers block but it’s not a big deal. Not as big a deal as what you guys have been working on.”

“Yeah, thankfully we’re almost near the end.”, another girl at the table sighs. “Mr. Harrington has really helped us out. He’s been buying us lunch for the office every day.”

“And letting us leave early on Fridays so we can have a bit of a break. He stays in the office to make up the time.”

You couldn’t help but smile at their praise. Steve had always been a complete asshole but even during your relationship with him you saw the compassion and kindness that hid under the snark.

“Y/N? Honey, are you alright?”, he cooed as he sat on the bench beside you. His long fingers tenderly reached out to dry the tears that were still falling down your cheeks. 

“I’m fine, Steve. You don’t have to…”, you tried to dismiss him as you waved your hand. 

“I know I don’t have to. You know me. You know I don’t do anything I don’t want to.” Steve firmly grabbed your wrists and turned your body to face him a bit more. “Now, what’s going on, babe?”

“My, uh, my grandfather died.”

At your revelation, you began to cry harder and he collected you in his arms, pressing your head to his chest. 

“Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I know you two were really close. Everything’s ok, pretty girl. I’m right here.”

“Speak of the devil…Mr. Harrington! Hey! Why don’t you come sit with us?!”, one of Jacob’s friends shouted bringing you back to reality. 

Steve Harrington was the devil indeed with how delicious he looked dressed in his jeans and black button up shirt. His signature smile blinded the table as he grabbed his dates arm and headed towards you. 

“Hey guys. You don’t have to invite me. I’m sure you’re tired of dealing me for 40+ hours a week already.”

“Oh, come on. Join us. It’s no problem at all.”

The sound of your glass slamming into the table startled everyone including Steve as he finally gave you his attention. 

“Yeah, Steven. Not a problem at all. Take a seat.”

His head ticked to the side in amusement before taking a seat and pulling his date onto his lap making you cringe in annoyance. 

“Y/N apparently went to school with Mr. Harrington here.”, Jacob explained to his coworkers who were still fairly wide eyed at the way you addressed him. 

“That’s pretty cool. You two were friends?”

“Nope. Hardly even knew each other. Right, Harrington?”, you sassed. 

Turning away from you, he focused on the original question. 

“I wouldn’t say friends. We definitely knew of each other. Everyone in Hawkins did with it being a small town and all.”

Throughout the rest of the night, you constantly fumed in his direction every time he opened his mouth. His hands constantly roamed his date’s skin driving you insane every time she would lean back and nuzzle her face into his neck. In retaliation you tried to do the same with Jacob but you knew that was a lost cause because he wasn’t very keen on the PDA. 

You drank more and more until the world around you got hazy.

“How long have you two been together?”, someone asked as they gestured towards him and his date. 

“Um, about two weeks I believe.”

“Hm. About how long she’s been in the world.”, you hiccupped as you knocked back a shot on the table. “I mean…look at you, Barbie. You’re basically a fetus.”

“Y/N.”, Jacob whispered. “That was rude.”

“No, no Jacob. It’s ok. I see she hasn’t changed much. Y/N here had kind of a reputation for being bratty at school.”

“And Steve Harrington had a reputation for being a man slut.”

“Alright, I think we’re going to go home. Come on, babe.”, you boyfriend said sternly, gripping your arm. 

“How about you guys come to my house? It’s a lot closer and you can get her to bed so she can sober up.”, Steve replied casually. 

“Oh, Mr. Harrington, we couldn’t impose.”

“I insist. Come on, honey.”, he grins as he slaps the girl’s ass playfully. “It was nice spending time with you guys. Jacob, just follow me.”

***

It took you awhile to catch your bearings when your groggy eyes opened and you realized you weren’t at home. 

“Jacob?”

Glancing beside you, you noticed his peacefully sleeping frame beside you so you left him be as you got up to find a bathroom. Wherever you were it was a very nice place with the updated furnishings and new home smell. 

It took you a moment to find a bathroom but after you did, you shut the door and ran the cool water over you face. 

What happened last night? I remember Steve showing up at the bar…a dizzying car ride…lips on mine…angry eyes. Maybe Jacob was upset for how I behaved. I need to make it up to him. He doesn’t deserve me acting like a drunk fool in front of his friends. 

Sighing, you opened the door to head back to bed but was met with a strong hand around your throat pushing you backwards into the bathroom and closing the door. 

“Are we sober now, little girl? Good because I really want this to sink in.”, Steve growled as his face hovered above yours. “If you ever disrespect me like that again I’ll throw you over my knee and spank you till you can’t handle it. I don’t care where we are or if your fucking boyfriend is in the room. Do I make myself clear?”

“What…what…I don’t remember…”

“You don’t…don’t…remember?”, he mocked. “Well, let me refresh your memory. I told your idiot boyfriend to bring you back to my house so you could rest because you were insulting my girlfriend and embarrassing yourself in front of his coworkers. When we got here, I showed him my spare rooms and left you guys alone. While I was getting ready for bed myself, the door was open and you were on your fucking knees IN MY HOUSE sucking another man’s dick AND CALLING HIM DADDY!”, Steve scolded roughly in your ear through clenched teeth.

Finally gathering your faculties, you pushed at his chest causing him to release you but only long enough to invade your space again as his face hovered just above your own. 

“I’M your Daddy.”

“Not anymore.”

“Oh? Did you also forget that you showed up at my office two weeks ago begging for my cock and calling me Daddy? Or was that some other pathetic little girl?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised with how many women you’ve fucked in your lifetime.”

“Said the whore. Let’s not forget how many guys you were with in Hawkins.”

“I wasn’t with anyone! I went on dates but the only person I ever fucked was you!”

“Yeah right. Do you expect me to believe that? Hell, you cheated on your boyfriend with me!”

“Like it matters if you believe me or not. Technically I was single in school. You couldn’t bother to be seen with me because I was fucking poor. Jesus. You say I’m pathetic but the truth is you are; a pathetic little daddy’s boy. Couldn’t even start or find a company of your own. You had to play sloppy seconds to his business!”

Steve’s palm covered your mouth roughly as he pushed you forcefully against the wall. His breathing became erratic as he heavily panted trying to control his temper. His eyes stared daggers into yours for what felt like forever till something in the air snapped and he replaced his hand with his lips. 

It was a rough kiss fueled by anger and you felt your pussy flutter at the notion. Riled up Steve was always one of your favorite versions of him because he claimed what was his in the best way possible. This is what you wanted. You wanted him to realize that he hated the idea of you not being his and fought to have you by his side. The problem was he did claim you but never truly made you his. 

Your arms pushed at his chest but his grip tightened as he held your wrists to your sides. Moving them to one hand, he utilized his now free palm to smack you before grabbing your cheeks with his fingers. 

“Do you want to stop? Say the word and we’ll stop.”, he growled. “Answer me.”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No, I don’t want you to stop.”

“I didn’t think so.”

Aggressively, he turned you around and pushed your body against the sink as he moved aside your panties while freeing his cock from his boxers. After spitting into his hand and stroking it along his shaft, you both groaned as he guided himself into you promptly setting a rough pace. 

“Baby?”

Your eyes widen at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice on the other side of the bathroom door and you see Steve smirk from his reflection in the mirror. 

“Y-Yeah?”

“Are you ok? I woke up and you weren’t there.”

The man inside you slowed his rhythm, dragging his length pleasantly along your tight walls before slamming himself back into your pussy making your eyes roll as your nails dug into the arm he had around your stomach.

“I-I’m okay, Jacob. Ahhh… I’ll be right there, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, you will, baby girl. You’ll—mmm—crawl back in beside him full of my cum like the fucking whore you are.”, Steve whispers, his lips attaching to your neck as your head falls against his shoulder. 

“Okay. Are you sure you’re all right?”

Picking up his pace again, his cock overwhelmed your senses as you tried to control yourself from screaming his name. 

“YES! I’m fine. I’ll be right there!”

“Alright, honey. I love you.”

Steve’s eyes met yours in the mirror, softening slightly when he saw pain flash through them. 

“I love you to.”

He knew you weren’t saying it to your boyfriend but to him, however, Jacob thinking your love was meant for him infuriated Steve as he spanked your ass hard before wrapping both arms around you to hold you still as he slammed his lower half into your own. 

“Who’s your Daddy, little girl?”

“You are, Steve, please.”

“Say it again so I know you fucking understand.”

“You are, Daddy. Please. Let me cum. I’ll—fuck—I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“No you won’t but that’s ok. I don’t mind putting you in your place.”

As his fingers find their way to your clit, you bite your bottom lip to stifle the loud moan that wants to break free. Placing your arms and hands over his own, you cling to him as your body trembles and you cum hard around him. His rhythm falters and you hear him grunt in your ear before you feel his release spill inside of you. 

Steve pants as his softening cock pulls out of your aching hole and tucks himself back into his boxers as he takes a seat on the edge of the tub. Maybe it was the headspace you were still in or just seeing him look so upset hit that soft spot in your heart but you couldn’t help it when you lowered yourself to your knees and crawled to his side, placing your head on his thigh as you hugged his legs. 

“I’m sorry I called him Daddy.”

His large palm reached out to pet your head making you sigh as you closed your eyes. 

“No, you’re not. Yeah you were drunk but your subconscious definitely wanted to hurt me and that would be the way to do it. It’s not like I didn’t do the same thing by bringing a young, beautiful girl around. I knew she’d piss you off.”

“Why do we have to be this way to each other, Steve?”

“I think the real question, sweetheart, is why do we like it?”

“Why do I like it so much with you?”, you whisper. As your tears begin to fall, he leans down to collect you in his arms and places you on his lap. “I tried, whatever the fuck this is, with other men and every time I got hurt. They were you times 10. Then I met Jacob and—”

“He’s the exact opposite.” 

“And not in a good way.”, you sigh as you caress his face with your palm. “Steve, I didn’t have sex with anyone else when we were in school. The first time I was every with someone who wasn’t you was after I left. I hated it… he was too rough and almost every conversation we had was a fight.” Turning his face towards you, you tenderly kiss his forehead. “I swear, I never called any of them Daddy. They would beg me to but it always felt wrong. Only you ever knew how to take care of me like that. I just wish you could have taken care of me in every other way.”

After softly kissing his lips, you crawled off his lap and headed back to bed to curl up in your boyfriend’s arms that you wished were Steve’s.

##################

Another week went by in uneventful domestic bliss as you continued to be the best girlfriend you could. Today Jacob and his coworkers were celebrating finishing the project they had been working on with a camping trip up north. He had invited you to come along but after what happened you thought it best to stay put. You also weren’t really a fan of sleeping outdoors without AC but you kept that little tidbit to yourself. 

You utilized the alone time to work on your novel and get things done around the house but after a couple of hours, you found yourself extremely bored. Throwing on your jacket and grabbing your keys, you headed to a bar down the way ordering the strongest drink you could think of. 

Once again, the smell caught your attention first before the snarky laugh that followed. 

“Of course. Of course. Of fucking course, YOU of all people would be here.”, Steve giggled drunkenly as he knocked back his beverage and signaled the bartender for a refill. 

He looked completely disheveled, his hair a mess due to his fingers running frustratingly through it. The suit jacket he had worn was hanging on the back of the chair while his white button up shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. 

“Steve? What happened?”

“Like you care.”

You should have walked away; left him there to wallow by himself but this nagging in your stomach wouldn’t allow you to as your worry for him took control. 

“I do care. Come on, Steve, talk to me.”

Spinning in his seat, he leaned his side obnoxiously over the bar as his glassy eyes met yours. 

“What happened. Hm…Y/N wants to know what the fuck happened. Well, we finished our project at work today. Managed to sign a huge fucking client worth millions! But does that impress my father? Oh, no. Fucker has to fly up here just to berate me and scold me on what we need to do next. This isn’t my first day on the job. I’ve watched that asshole work my entire life and he can’t even let go for one God damn second to see I did something good!”

“You’re right. I remember he was always hard on you. I saw him scream at you once after a game even though the team won and you made the most points. He said you didn’t try hard enough.” He nods at the memory, chugging the content of the glass and again asking for more. You discreetly signaled to the bartender that this was the last one as you focus your attention back on the broken man in front of you. “I hope you know he’s wrong. I know how hard you worked on this.”

“Yup. I know, Y/N. I’m not a fucking idiot. Why are you even here? I’m toxic remember?”

“You are but that doesn’t mean I want anything bad to happen to you. Let me take you home.”

“Fuck you. I can fucking take myself home.”, he growls, finishing the last of his beverage. 

“Ok. Can you at least text me and let me know you got home safely?”

After rubbing his shoulder comfortingly, you put on your jacket and pay for your drink but as you turn to leave, a warm palm abruptly grabs your wrist. 

“Y/N, um… C-Can you come home with me? I promise I won’t make a move or anything. I just… don’t want to be alone.”

***

“Oh shit!”, he laughs as he falls through the door after turning the key. 

“Where’s your girlfriend tonight?”, you ask as you guide him towards his bedroom, holding his waist as he stumbles from side to side. 

“Girlfriend? Oh, you mean Barbie?”

“That’s not really her name is it?”

Steve snorts as he chuckles, throwing himself onto the mattress and throwing his arm over his eyes. 

“No…it’s, um, Tiffany. No, Erica…Fuck, I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since you and your idiot spent the night.”

After you flashed him a sassy smirk he didn’t see, you began getting him ready for bed starting with his shoes. You thought he had finally passed out but when you grabbed his arm to take off his watch and class ring from college, his eyes opened, and he tilted his head to watch you. 

“Where can I put these?”, you murmur with a soft smile.

Silently, he gestures towards the bedside table and you reach for the drawer to delicately place them inside. Something catches your eye, however, as you pull out a well, worn picture of the two of you in high school. Steve rarely ever took photos with you back then. Nothing the two of you ever did was ever genuinely photo worthy since you two were sneaking around most of the time. When this image was taken, you were supposed to take pictures for a class project and brought the camera with you to his house after your photoshoot with your group.

“Why do you have a camera? I thought you wanted to be a writer.”, he asks after noticing it in your bag and taking it out.

“Oh, so you ARE listening to me when I talk?”

“A ha ha. You’re so funny, Y/N.”

“It’s for a class project we’re working on.”, you giggle.

“Is the project sexy basketball captains?”, Steve joked as he held the device high in the air away from your reach. “Handsome Men at Hawkins High? Oh! Or Gods in Bed?”

“No. It’s a project about Hawkins jerks who steal stuff and are TERRIBLE in bed.”

You playfully tackle him onto the mattress and lightly wrestle with him till he has both arms around you with your face against his chest. Gently tugging your hair, his lips land on your forehead before traveling down to your own for a tender kiss. 

Holding his arm high above you both, he presses his cheek to your own as you both smile and the flash blinds your eyes. 

“Where did you get this?”, you whisper as he bends towards you and squints his eyes at the image. 

“Ummmm… stole it from your room…snuck in.”, Steve sighs as he rolls onto his back and closes his eyes. “You were…gone…vanish from…Hawkins.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn off his bed side lamp but as you begin to stand, his slurred voice fills your ears. 

“Please don’t go…”

Grabbing a throw blanket, you toss it over you both as you curl up into his side and rest your palm on his chest, letting the comforting rhythm of his breathing lull you to sleep.

############

The feeling of lips on your shoulder causes your eyes to flutter open.

You had rolled over in the night and were currently facing Steve’s bland, gray bedroom wall as soft hands roamed your skin. Pretending to still be asleep, you melted into his touch as you pushed your back into his chest. Fingers gently caressed your stomach and up your shirt as his mouth continued to travel towards your neck. 

Quickly moving some of your hair away from your face, Steve kissed your cheek as his palm massaged your breasts briefly before gliding back down to your stomach. You could feel his eyes watching you as you subtly moaned, the bulge in his slacks pressing against your clothed ass. 

You allowed your lower half to grind against him as his groan grumbled low in your ear. Moving one of his arms above your head, you reached up to intertwine your fingers with his as his other hand slipped through the waistband of your pants and under your panties. 

“Daddy.”, you panted as he guided his middle and ring fingers inside of your core. 

Steve didn’t respond verbally, his teeth gently grazing your earlobe as he rolled his hips against you matching the pace of his digits.

“Fuck, yes. Please… Talk to me, baby.”, you beg. 

Again, he doesn’t answer, releasing your hand to wrap his arm around your chest and hold you to him as he moved his fingers so fast between your legs that the sound of your slick filled the room. 

Your body trembles against his as the dam breaks and your nails dig into his skin as you cum. 

Rolling over on to your back, your eyes try to find his but he hastily diverts them as he focuses on pulling down your pants. Gripping his chin, you force him to look at you. 

“Talk to me, baby.”, you repeat. 

“Why are you here?”

His question genuinely threw you off as you scanned his face searching for a reason. 

“You asked me to. You said you didn’t want to be alone.”

“Yeah but WHY are you here, Y/N? You left me, you have a boyfriend, you think I’m a bad person yet you’re here.”

“I thought you wanted to be with me. That’s why you said what you said a few weeks ago. Why do you care? I’m just the girl you fuck to feel better right? RIGHT?!”

“THAT’S RIGHT!”, Steve shouts but even he realizes he sounds insincere. “You should go home.”

“What if I don’t want to go home.”

“I wasn’t asking. Get your shit and get out of my house.”

“No.”

Angrily, he rolled out of bed and grabbed your ankle, tugging you to the edge of the bed. Before he could take hold of your arm to lift you, you smacked his cheek blind siding him as you ran out of the bedroom and towards a guest room with the intent of shutting him out. 

Steve was much faster than you, wrapping his arm around your waist and lifting you off your feet as he carried you down the hall towards the stairs. 

“Why do you do this, Steve?! Why do you push me away?!”

“Because, little girl, like you said, I’m toxic. I’m just like my father and I’m sorry to say, honey, you aren’t at the level of my mother. You’re the side piece trash my dad throws out when he’s done.”

As soon as he reaches the bottom step, you take hold of the banister and manage to wiggle out of his hold, running towards the kitchen to allow for the barrier of the island between you two. 

“Said the man who has a picture of me in his nightstand. It seemed pretty worn too, Harrington. How long have you had it? How many times have you taken it out to look at over the years?”

“I look at it when I need a reminder of how low I sunk when it came to women back then. Thankfully I do much better now.”

“Oh yeah? Like Barbie? Wait, I mean Tiffany…Erica?”, you snicker sarcastically. “Couldn’t even bother to remember her name. Do you remember any of their names? Hell, was I the longest ‘relationship’ you had?!”

He lunges to the side but you duck out of the way just in time as you move around the island. 

“Oh shit, Steven. I was wasn’t I? Even in school you had all these women at your side but they were never yours. Why is that? Because if you had been in a real relationship, I never would have continued whatever the fuck we had. Didn’t have the balls to?”

You watch his face with immense satisfaction as his eyes get darker, filling with even more fury. 

“And that’s what pisses you off the most, huh? You say I’m the side piece but the fact of the matter is you are… and that scares you. I could throw you away just like your dad did to his whores… just like he does with you… Yet instead of standing up for yourself and claiming me; proving to me you can be a good man; you act like a child. You couldn’t even tell your daddy to fuck off which is why you went to the bar to get wasted.”

Shaking your head, you size him up and down with your eyes in disgust. 

“You’re not my Daddy, little boy.”

The calmness that washed over his face frighted you a bit, signaling to you that you needed to tread carefully. You had only ever seen him this way once before back in high school…the first time.

“Steve?”

“Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck do you want?!”, the boy growls from his place on the bleachers in the now empty gymnasium.

“I don’t mean to bother you. I don’t know if you remember me but we have a couple of classes together—”

“Wonderful. Go away.”

His gruff tone shakes you a bit but you were determined to say what you wanted to say. 

“Ok. I, um, I just wanted to tell you that I heard what your parents…your dad… said and I just wanted you to know that…he’s wrong. I think you did amazing out there tonight. Honestly, I think you do awesome every game but…”

The jock’s angry yes shoot up to look at you as he scans you over. 

“Yeah. Thanks…”

“Y/N. No problem. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you be now.”

Reaching out abruptly, his hand grips your wrist and yanks you in one motion on to his lap so you were straddling his waist facing him. You should have gasped and hit him, called him a pervert or asshole, and immediately got away from him but the way he was looking up at you with those heart broken eyes… 

“You’re a very nice pretty girl, aren’t you?” You blushed at his calm, seductive tone as your hands balanced yourself on his shoulders. “Can I return the favor?”

He fucked you right there on the bleachers not caring if any one saw either of you or if you were embarrassed by someone walking in and catching you two. Steve used you till he was spent and he wasn’t gentle by any means. You loved it and he knew it as he smirked up or down at you every time you came. 

He didn’t chase you this time as you left the kitchen and ran down the hall. You didn’t know why until the man rounded a sudden corner and wrapped his palm around your throat. Pushing you backwards, he guided you towards the sofa before taking a seat and hurling your front half over his lap.

You squirmed as he held you down, yelping when his hand came down hard on your behind. 

“It’s been too long since you’ve been punished properly, little girl. Between the disrespect, attitude, and being a little whore, I think it’s time I put you in your place.” You wiggled against his hold but he was firm as one of his arms pressed into your shoulder blades. “Stop moving!”, Steve shouted as his hand came down harder than before. 

“Ow…Steve…”

You yelped as his palm came down again a couple more times. 

“It seems, Y/N, that you keep forgetting who I am but don’t worry. We’ll make sure it sticks this time. If this is the only way to get through to you, so be it.”

“Steve…please…OW!”, you whine when he spanks you again. 

“Don’t act like this isn’t turning you on. I bet if we pull off these panties, you’d be dripping like the little disobedient slut you are.”

After hitting you again, he yanks down your underwear making you groan as he slides his finger through your slick. 

“See? Didn’t I just make you cum? Look how wet you are. I told you before, honey. Pissing each other off is the shit that really gets us going.”

Minutes passed but it felt like hours as he continued to spank you turning you into a sobbing mess. Your ass was extremely sore and marked up enough that you would need to come up with an excuse if Jacob saw them. 

“Steve, please…”, you begged. “How many more?”

“However…many…more…it…takes!”, he shouted near your ear as he hit your behind between each word. “Who am I, Y/N?”

Circling his thumb along your clit, he didn’t allow you a moment to breathe as he built you up and your brain blanked. 

“Answer me, little girl!”

“DADDY! You’re Daddy, Steve.”

“Damn right. I’m not some side piece you throw away. I’m fucking Daddy.”, he growled. “People like you and my parents think I’m nothing but I’m NOT. Women scream my name almost every night. I’m the CEO of a huge firm. I make a ton of fucking money. Why isn’t that enough, huh?!”

As his palm connected with your red, bruised skin, you came drenching his lap with your arousal. His chest rose and fell in heavy breaths as he tried to calm down, Steve’s gaze shifting to you when he heard your small sniffles. 

As carefully as he could, he lifted you up and turned you around till you were sitting properly on his lap with your face in the nook near his shoulder. While you continued to cry, his hands massaged your arms while he tenderly played with your hair. 

“What color are you at right now, honey?”

One of your arms rose to circle around his neck as you softly kissed his skin.

“Green, Daddy.”, you whisper. 

Steve curtly nodded as his eyes remained forward while he continued to pet your head, allowing you time to come back down. 

“Are you ok?”, he asked in a tone you had never heard from him before. He sounded almost…afraid. Lifting your head, your palm reaches for his cheek and turns his face so his eyes can meet yours. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cross a line. I didn’t mean to…hurt you.”

Placing your forehead on his, he sighs as your fingertips run along the slight stubble over his chin and up to his lips. 

“I don’t mind you hurting me.”

“You’re not supposed to lie to me, baby girl, remember?”, he smirks as a breathy laugh escapes his chest. “You like when I’m rough with you in bed. You like pushing me to rile me up just like I do with you to see if you will because I know you’re a fucking brat.”

Steve’s grin grows as you blush, knowing he’s telling the truth. 

“The problem is you and I don’t know where the line is. It always seeped out into our day to day and into my insecurities. That’s what you don’t like. You don’t like me using you and breaking your heart. Just like I don’t like watching you cry. Not like this anyway.”

Lifting you into his arms, he carried you back to his bedroom and into the bathroom where you marveled at his massive clawfoot tub. After getting the bath ready, he holds your hand as he guides you but you pause before you sit. 

“Will you sit with me, Daddy?”

“Yeah, honey, I can do that.”

After waiting patiently for him to disrobe, you allow him to climb in behind you and take a seat as you lean against his chest. His large palms run along your shoulders and down your arms making you sigh as you tilt back to kiss his cheek. 

“You were always enough for me, Steve Harrington.” His eyes meet your own as you continue. “The problem was I was never enough for you.”

“Y/N, I’m moving to New York.” Your eyes widen as move away from him and scan his face for lies. “I was only supposed to be here for this project and then run the company as a whole from over there. I…I never expected to see you again. I…”, he pauses as he tries to collect his thoughts. “I want you to come with me.”

“Steve…I can’t…”

“Yes you can. I feel like we can work on this if we can be together. I know we can learn the line and just keep this in the bedroom without going too far and being toxic.”

“We had so many more problems than you being jealous and screaming things at me.”

“Y/N, I don’t want anyone else. I’m not the same guy I was. I won’t cheat. I won’t hurt you. I’ll claim you… I DO claim you. You’re mine, baby.”

“You just told me an hour ago that I’m just the girl you fuck and I should get the fuck out of your house.”

“I’m not perfect. Truth be told, like you said, I AM afraid of losing you again so I lashed out. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I don’t believe you.”, you whisper. 

“Then why are you here?”

“You said—”

“No. You’re your own woman with your own free will. You still could have gone home. You still love me and I love you, sweetheart…so fucking much.”

His arms wrapped around you, hugging you to him as you began to disassociate. You did still love him; you always had even after you left but you left for a reason. You stayed away for a reason. If you and he were having this discussion 5 years ago you would know immediately that he was just doing whatever he could to appease you without really hearing you and hurt you again a few weeks later. What killed you was if this was 5 years ago and he said he was moving you would have said yes without thinking. 

Now you were overthinking and fear was taking over. 

What if things just went back to the way they were? He seems sincere but a lot of his behavior has been the same. But he said he wanted to work on that and with me. Steve said he was finally ready to claim me and that he loved me…

But what about Jacob? He’s been such a caring and patient good man. I can’t hurt him like this especially if there’s a chance Steve could hurt me again. 

You should have voiced your concerns to him and talked about it like adults. You should have sat on his couch and heard out his plans for success when it came to your relationship together. You should have listened and expressed everything you needed to but you didn’t.

“You knew what this was…”

Steve’s entire demeanor stiffened as you whispered the words he screamed at you the night before you left. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t quite catch that. Do you have the balls to say it louder?”

Rising to your feet, you grabbed a nearby towel, wincing when it grazed your behind as you wrapped it around your body.

“I said you knew what this was. It’s not my fault you caught feelings.”

He laughed to himself as he climbed out of the tub allowing the water to drench his bathroom as he headed for the bedroom. 

“Keeping going, honey. But really twist the knife and make it hurt. That’s what it will take for what you’re doing to work.” Grabbing your clothes off the floor, he tossed them in your direction as your eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to hurt me, right? To push me away because you’re scared of actually taking that leap and giving me a chance?”

Your glassy eyes shifted away from him as you threw your shirt over your head and pulled on your underwear. 

“Because that’s what I did.” You froze as he continued, slowly moving your way as he spoke. “Why do you think I fucked Lori that night? Y/N, you told me you loved me and it scared the hell out of me. I was a popular, rich, Harrington… I was supposed to become my father. I was supposed to cheat, run a business, and make a ton of money by any means necessary.”

Stopping at your side, his fingers gripped your chin forcing you to turn and look at him. 

“All I wanted to do was run away with you… but I panicked and hurt you instead causing you to run away without me. Y/N, I knew I fucked up when I climbed through your window and you were gone. I lost the one person that actually gave a damn about me and who I genuinely cared about. I’d like another chance and I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I already do.”, you murmured as you buttoned your jeans and began walking down his stairs towards his front door.

“Oh, Y/N?”, he called nonchalantly.

“What, Steven!?”, you shout as you glare up at his still naked frame leaning over the second-floor banister. 

“You forgot your phone.”, he says calmly flashing you the screen that was currently illuminating a picture of you and your boyfriend as his call came through. Panic flowed through your entire body as his thumb moved the green dot. 

“Y/N’s phone, this is Steve Harrington.”

####################

@daysinthephoenix @sophiejayne-illustrations713 @livosssblog

[jalluzas-ferney]

Soooo….I made some nationality headcannons! At first I was a liiittle bit unsure if to do so cuz then again.. they live in ninjago…. And im pretty sure countries like argentina or Morocco don’t quite exist in the ninjago universe LMAO. Butttttt. Already seen others make headcannons, so hell, why not? I uses they apply to some irl au or what if they lived in our world uk? And what different countries would I see them coming from and etc.

I can imagine that the EM might have travelled all over the world, either to go into hiding, or missions, or escape conflict, etc. Or maybe simply that’s where they came from! So yeah that’s my little explanation that is mostly for myself cuz im a little bit too literal sometimes lol.

When thinking about nationality I always think a lot about where they grew up and what nationality they grew up with and would later on identify with the most. It’s a complicated concept when your parents are from a different nationality and theyre immigrants in a different country- so you grow up in this country, surrounded by this culture and people, but your. Also. Raised by your parents who also have your family living in this completely different country- where you also find home and relate to the people considering how you look, the language you speak with your parents- or the specific culture and environment your parents grew up wiooith, impacting your home life and the way your raised. Perhaps you lived in both places, or travel a lot to your parents homeland. Perhaps you live in one of your parents countries but the other. Not. but you still identify with one of your parents nationality because of the rest of your family from that side and the culture your take in from them. So it’s always very personal! So for Kai and Nya, I imagined that ray was Argentinian and Maya Filipino. And perhaps - because I want to project onto my faves- they were born and grew up in Argentina. But have always also identified a lot with their mothers homeland, since not only does their race impact the way they might feel more different and set apart from kids there, maya loves talking about her childhood in the Philippines and is always talking over the phone with their aunts and cousins, meaning Kai and Nya def were taught some Tagalog, tho theyre not incredibly fluid with it. In their early teens they probably travelled to the Philippines, (took ray and maya some time to settle down and get enough money to travel, as well as find time) and met their whole family, and the place they reside in, habit that would turn quite common as they would continue to travel other times the following years.

For Lloyd, I really wanted to make him Asian -Brazilian. It just felt right. So imagined that my queen (don’t you judge her >:() Misako would be Brazilian, meanwhile Garmadon,Japanese. i imagine that Misako adores traveling, so she met Garmadon on her trip to Japan, and decided to stay there for a WHILE because of the brothers. During her time there, she had Lloyd. Since her family heard of her new baby, she travelled back to Brazil with a two y/o Lloyd to have her family meet the him and catch up overall. but as the serpentine wars rose In japan (ill hc it happened in japan let me know what u think of that) Misako was told to wait in Brazil. Misako didn’t really like that though, and while she dreaded having to leave her son, she was sure shed come back soon after helping out the Brothers in the battle against the serpentine. So Lloyd was left to live with his aunties and grandparents in Brazil. Of course, after Misako found out about the whole Green Ninja thing and all that crap, she pulled the same stunt as in the series and ✨ vanished ✨. But then Garmadon came and fucking took him like divorced parents sometimes do uk? So then he spent some other of his childhood years growing up in, ya guessed it, Japan. This is how Lloyd identifies both with being a Brazilian and Japanese. As for the rest, I just envision that they lived in their respective countries their whole lives till they were recruited!

[foullegacyslut]

xiao and kazuha (sep) x f!reader giving them a boobjob?!?! 😍

I need food pls 🤕🤕🤕🙏

😳 ofc

eheheh i’m getting all giddy writing this because i’ll never get to do this i got no titties 😭 but i can dream.

Giving them a boobiejob <3

Kaedehara Kazuha

He’s a blushing mess, looking down at you with loving eyes, groaning and praising you ever so often, petting your hair while you do it. so i’m a big kazuha simp i kinda projected myself onto this one mb 😭

You walked into Kazuhas room, he’s been stressed lately, and you wanted to help him… calm down.

“I sensed a familiar scent on the wind. i knew you would be coming” he smiled and gestured you to sit next to him. instead you kneeled on the floor, resting your head on his lap.

“Mm? What’s this all about, my muse?” He grinned and stroked your hair.

“You’ve been all.. you know.. tense! and i want to let you.. feel better.. you know?” You we’re trying to be indirect about it, it made you shy to talk about this.

“Oh? I- I get what you mean.” He stuttered on his words, turning pink in the face. “I appreciate that. You may..you may go ahead and do it if you wish.”

You pulled down his hakama gently, his erection now fully visible. He looked away, covering his face. You proceeded to lift your shirt up, exposing yourself to him. It was big, and you had no idea how you were gonna fit that between your tits.

“Mm.. no matter how many beautiful scenes i may see in my travels, nothing compares to your body and face.” He chuckles at you shying away while doing something like this.

You finally put his cock between your boobs, squishing them together for more friction and coverage. He groaned in pleasure, gently looking at you, getting harder at the sight of you doing such lewd acts. You slowly started moving up and down, blushing in embarrassment as he watched you intently, moaning whenever you moved.

“Ah- Songbird.. ngh.. archons that feels-so good.. mhm.. you’re doing so well..” He mumbled.

“Im glad you’re enjoying this. it’s good for stress relief i heard.” You smiled sweetly. As you sped up your pace, he moaned louder, breathing heavier.

“I’m-Im close!.. Don’t stop.. ah that feels so fucking good baby..”

You’ve never head kazuha use profanities, ever. That was a telltale sign you were doing really good, and that made your heart race.

“Excuse my language.. Sorry sweethea- ahngh!”

You cut him off by going faster and paying more attention to the tip.

“Archons.. i’m gonna cum…” He groaned as you went faster after you heard that, desperate to make him cum.

“Good- Good girl.. Good girl! Im about to-“ He moaned out your name and thrusted his hips up as he came all over your face and tits. He apologized profusely for making such a mess of you. He caressed your face delicately, smearing his cum over your cheeks. you licked a bit off your lips, making his heart pound out his chest.

“You look so cute like this. Hmm.. i should finish on your face more.. you seem to enjoy this quite a bit, beautiful.” he brought his finger to your mouth, covered in cum, so you licked it off. hm? tastes good.

“Ah.. you seem to like that.. then scratch my other idea, i should cum in your mouth then.” He smiled. “let’s get cleaned up alright? i’ll run you a bath and we can cuddle after.

(you guys did cuddle with an extra little makeout because why not also the bath was nice it was warm and he praised you a lot) (my fucking sweetheart i love him sm)

Adeptus Xiao

bro is whinin and shi he ain’t ever got a woman to touch him in like a millenia he’s too busy slayin demons n shit 🤬 he’d rather kill demons than touch titties? mid.

“XiaoXiao?” You called out. You and Xiao were living together in the inn now. “Xiaooo!” You exclaimed a second time. Where is he? You approached his room, about to knock, before you heard groaning.

“Xiao?” You opened the door to see your lover with his hand wrapped around his cock.

“Ngh-Ah!? You- You need to knock! Don’t just walk in on people like that..” He groaned.

“Um.. Need a hand?” You offered. It’s not like you haven’t done stuff like this before.

“What are you talking about? Are you crazy? What could i possibly- Oh. You mean.. this.” he glanced at his twitching erection. “Fine.”

You smiled, then walked his way, kneeling to the floor. Then you lifted your shirt.

“So.. big. What do mortal females need.. these for anyways?” He says, trying to hide the fact that he enjoys seeing your boobs.

You simply giggled and took his cock between your tits. He groaned loudly, gripping the sheets.

“Do you like that?” You asked.

He hissed between his teeth, not wanting to admit a mortal made him feel so.. good.

You started bouncing yourself up and down up and down his cock, your boobs bouncing with every movement.

“Shit.. Im gonna cum.” He whined.

You sped up, squishing your boobs together for him, finally hearing him mumble something under his breath before he finished on you.

“You.. ngh.. you’re way too good at that.” He groaned, proceeding to get up and gesture for you to follow him. “Are you just going to sit there with my seed on your face? get yourself cleaned up.”

(he ended up doting on you, cleaning you up and kissing your forehead and letting you sleep on him even though he was the tired one)

[camilaxmartin]

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

[leonscape]

i feel like we all perceive the suitors differently based on who we are and idk why or what compelled me to make this post but i’m sharing anyways

i’ve seen people hc sexualities and i feel like i have a unique view because im ace but i also don’t call characters gay just because? i have never developed feelings for anyone nor do i participate in discussions about who’s hot and who’s not. im kinda not wired that way so i feel like that makes my perspective different.

i think it’s interesting when people call the suitors gay and ship them because they’re actually straight, meant for a female audience. it’s not heterosexual content and i think it really comes down to how the characters are written, and the type of person viewing the characters.

disclaimer: this is my opinion you do not have to agree with it, but i do ask you to be respectful. you do not need to argue your opinion or against mine so let’s keep it chill

okay let’s start ^_^

jin is straight there’s literally no arguing this one. his love of women is very intense but he’s just being one of the bros unapologetically? i think everyone can agree on this one.

chevalier hear me out is ace. i bet he’s the type to read erotica with a straight face and it truly is for the plot. it doesn’t bother him and he doesn’t pay attention to that kind of thing. if we take out the otome aspect out of ikepri, he’d just be aroace fr. and i think this way because he tells emma to prove that romance and love has worth. so i don’t see him attracted to men and i don’t think he’s attracted to women either he just falls in love with emma because she’s the beauty to his beast romance?

clavis probably is also ace, gray ace. in my post about ace hc’s i said he’s probably ace and im pretty sure that was before his route came out and now after having played it, i still stand by that. i think sexual attraction isn’t important to clavis. i think he’s more worried about abandonment and figuring out if this person is his ride or die kind of person. i just think his priorities are different and maybe that’s why it seems like he comes off as ace. i do not see him being attracted to men.

leon is straight. maybe it’s jin’s influence and i see them as very similar. maybe it’s purely just my perception of him. i have heard that some people think his bi because everyone is charmed by him? but i just don’t see him reciprocating that kind of preference to guys. i think he also has a hard time reciprocating energy towards women too. idk i guess i imagined him talking to a nice girl, everything’s going well, but his stomach drops as he reminds himself that he’s a fake. he doesn’t let people get too close to him otherwise he will get eaten alive by the guilt from deceiving them but he’s also afraid to tell them. i mean how is he supposed to tell his partner when he hasn’t told his closest brothers? the brothers that he’s grown up with and grown close to? i also just think he’d be enthusiastic about being a dad and starting a family because he didn’t know his parents and he didn’t even have the luxury of having leon’s parents either so i think it would mean a lot to him to start a family and give his kids a mom and a dad. wait this isn’t a post about just leon i got carried away oops but does this mean i think leon is ace? nah he’s just afraid that his insecurity in his identity will damage the relationships he has and the illusion of leon.

yves is ace i don’t care what they say his spicy content feels very performative and fan service-y to me. i said he’s ace in my ace hc post too so i still stand by that. he gets embarrassed when he talks about it so i don’t think he’s really comfortable in his sexuality? me personally i project onto yves just a bit?? like im just gonna say that desire does not equal sexual attraction because i get confused and uncomfortable about it sometimes so i have to remind myself. i think he wants to participate in those types of acts but feels conflicted. also i know he’s the resident femboy and that’s more likely to get him labeled as gay or something but i actually don’t see him being into men but we know he’s an ally from that one bond story of his.

licht, i swear im not doing this on purpose because of my own biases, but he’s ace too bro. he doesn’t really pay attention to sexuality and attraction and stuff. or maybe the more traumatized or mentally ill they are the more i think they’re ace. wait that’s not true i’ll get to nokto after this. yeah idk licht is depressed af so he don’t have time to think “mmh men” or “mmh women” or “mmmhh both” there’s no attraction until after he established a relationship so yeah i guess he’s demisexual.

nokto is gay. okay fine i’ll say bi. weeell ok not naming names but kinda because it’s a small fandom and it’s not hard to figure out. but my perception of him has definitely been influenced by fandom. now i just think he likes men

luke is honestly i don’t know i guess he’s straight. he doesn’t do sus things and he just seems like what jin was like before his addiction to breasts and to “the sand in the hourglass” (assuming jin wasn’t always a pervert like that).

i do not have enough information on gilbert

keith is straight you cannot tell me he wouldn’t have a wife and 10 kids if he was born a commoner. he’d be a farmer just plowing the fields, growing medicinal plants, and providing for his family. he just seems like a straight up guy (see what i did there) making an honest living and obeying his wife who is in charge of the household.

silvio is another straight guy. attracted to women but doesn’t want to be because his money attracts the wrong kind of women.

rio also straight he’s probably only attracted to emma actually so yeah i know we joke about it but i think this guy really just only likes emma

finishing off the list strong with my sariel ace hc. yeah he’s giving the “i’m too busy with work/school” ace tbh. he’s like the professional guy that ignores the flirting but every once in a while it does affect him if he’s interested. but i don’t think he experiences much attraction and maybe he doesn’t have time either?

[hold-my-dr-pepper]

ok ok ok. incoming tw for sui ide mentions and correlating depression mentions, but i feel like this needs to be said

those posts that say "this is your sign to stay alive !!! you are loved !!!" are all good and well meaning, but as a fellow sufferer of the Big Sad, at least for me, these are quite unhelpful. they dont know you. they dont interact with you. its like filming buying a homeless person a $1 mcdonalds coffee.

so im gonna share some tips and general thoughts that have helped me.

when you want to hurt yourself:

-get a rubber band/hair tie, wear it around your wrist, and snap it. my psychiatrist actually recommended i do this. it stings a bit, but ultimately, it's better than taking a knife to your arm.

-draw with a red marker on the body area you want to hurt. stitches are my go-to, but it can be literally anything. try not to use the super thin tipped markers if you can help it because you could start digging them into your skin, and thats counterproductive.

if anyone else has tips for this specific section, feel free to chime in.

when you're having serious thoughts about killing yourself:

-write. journal, story, ramble. just write. write your thoughts and feelings in a notebook. project your feelings onto a fictional character (try not to get too attached to the character you're killing). depending on what you write, it can also be distracting and help get your mind off the Thoughts (comedy, romance, the like).

-text/call/talk to someone. doesn't have to be a professional at first. doesn't have to be about suicide either. text a friend, try to talk about other topics (jokes, fandoms, music, literally anything). if they notice something's off/if you want to tell them outright, TELL. THEM. more likely than not, they want to help you help yourself and will tell an adult, or even call a hotline, for you.

-tell your parents. im sure i'll get backlash for this, but no matter the situation, most parents genuinely do not want their child dead. they will help you. if they dont, burn them to the ground go back to the previous point, and try talking to a friend instead.

-keep the lights on. being such a raccoon myself, i enjoy sitting in the dark. it can be comfortable. but it can also be dangerous. i dont know if there's some science behind it, but for me, turning on my bedroom lights and/or opening the window blind has at least distracted me from the more serious Thoughts.

these are all the coping mechanisms i can think of off the top of my head. i might edit this later if i think of more. this is a heavier topic than what i usually talk about, but what with recent personal events and other things, i generally wanted to get this off my chest.

additions to the lists are appreciated, but i judt wanted to try and help other people yk

make sure you know your hotline numbers and hospital locations, and stay safe. 🫶🏻

[ear-motif]

just out of curiosity, why do you feel Will is trans? like how does that concept look in your head?? (i dont feel he is canonically trans but so many of his themes align with that concept and it makes my heart happy) i'm very open about the subject, just wanna hear your thoughts!!

oughh i love having thoughts thank you so much.

he is not canonically trans, point blank. but god damn if this show was just a little but cooler he would be. inane ramblings below

it started as a selfish projection of myself onto him, because I immediately related to his awkward accidental sincerity and difficulty relating to the Normals. I even have a similar cadence to my voice when I’m being snarky (which people notice and is extremely embarrassing). lets hope i have a hot glow up cause so far I mostly relate to s1 will (sad!). And because I’m gendersomething I’m like lit ok hes trans bc I said so.

But will’s whole inner world and turmoil makes sense to me when seen through the lens of my experience with gender and mental illness (tho ill focus on the gender for now). feeling like there’s a dark, awful part of yourself that’s constantly being taunted at and goaded into taking over. but your normie friends say that you’re a good person for repressing it, for doing whats useful while resisting what you crave. sven if that’s not what they say, it’s what they mean, and it’s what you’ve been implicitly taught your whole life. [for will, i think allegorically speaking its less his “murderous tendencies” that he has to resist, but gaining an antisocial perspective based on his empathy. growing above morality through his intimate experience with death and killers. that would make a man like will very dangerous, not only for individuals but potentially for his entire community. idk wanted to clear that up im normal about will graham]. obviously thats not what everyone or even most queer ppl’s experience with gender is like, but it is for me. yes im making it sound like i have a transgendered Venom Symbiote Guy hiding in my bones but like. maybe i do you dont know

i feel like this is a crappy answer but thats honestly why im like yea willard graham transgendered…and then the writers like to taunt me by making one of his defining drives his drive to be a father which is mean bc I too need to be a caregiver while maintaining my masculine identity so RUDE. and then setting up how that goal is only pushed further from him by his involvement with hannibal by making mason assault margot and sterilize her, killing their child and leaving her with an abdominal scar. and then having hannibal kill abigail, effectively killing their child and leaving will with an abdominal scar. and from what i know abt s3, he doesnt bond with wally like he does with abigail; hannibal essentially stole his capacity for fatherhood like mason stole margot’s capacity for motherhood (except she wins cuz she and alana have a kid right?) fuck this doesnt relate to gender anymore OK IM DONE I SAID MY PIECE IM SO SORRY

[youredreamingofroo]

Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.

i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.

And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.

So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?

I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.

For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.

If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.

[morguemaw]

Lustale/Lusttale Sans (ref/info)

Lustale/Lusttale (can be written either way!) Is an AU owned by MEATYGUTSY that is a revamp of Underlust that loosely mirrors the original concept. Redesigns, new lore, and more is to come! Easier to access/preferred ref design for Lust Sans;

Before you continue, please read below the 'Keep Reading', as important information that i wanted to put is down there!

Below is a QnA style format of This Post, please read it if you want to see more in-depth of the AU/what i have currently thought out on lore!

What is Lustale?

Lustale is a revamped version of Underlust. Underlust is a very iconic AU, but some old and new UTMV members are uncomfortable with it. For me, its because of the fontcest the creator made of both other UTMV AUs, and Underlust itself.

Is Lustale supposed to replace Underlust?

Depends. Realistically? It most likely will never replace it or really come close, Underlust is a very well-loved AU, and i know Lustale will not have the same 'charms' as Underlust.

It mentions Lust isnt feminine, is it wrong if he was?

Not at all. I myself didnt want to make a Lust sans that, for me, was on the brink of being a too stereotypical drag gay character that was a "cutesy :3", i wanted mine to be abit more masc but a guy who still enjoys makeup and dressing up in drag.

Is Lustale a open AU/Can we give Headcanons to characters in the AU?

No to both of those, for me i hugely prefer / appreciate questions, instead of saying "I personally think __ would fit __", instead ask something like "is this character__?", it allows you to learn about the character, and allows me to tell you about said character. Its alot more respectful to me, as well. To clarify, what i mean by Open AU is an AU that is fine for people to take the OP's concept and add their own ideas onto it. Lustale is my own project that i wish to do by myself.

To sum it up

Lustale is a revamp of Underlust, yes. Im not insulting the original au, nor the creator, even if i dont support/approve of the content they created. Im not even trying to do a "i can treat it better" move, either. Lustale is like how the Swapfell tree is. Theres Swapfell Gold, Red, Maroon,.. even Fellswap. All share a similar concept, but of different stories, with characters having different personalities, and even a different plot/scenery. and as of right now the Sans and SLIGHTLY how the Papyrus will look will remain similar to the AU, but after that i will be designing the rest of the AU via my own ideas/designs for the AU

[1bringthesun]

have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

.

..

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~