#and certainly not while listening to it UNIRONICALLY

[miss617]

An "artistic" rendering of a typical conversation with me.

[throwawayhero]

could you give more hcs or a drabble about bakugou with a crush on reader!! pls i feel like ur fics are the closest ive seen to canon... i need more

No problem, and thanks! I try to make them seem canon, but sometimes it's difficult T-T. Just realising now that a few of these sound stalker-y and I'm sorta regretting writing this but oh well. I hope this is satisfactory!! c/w; social media au, buzzfeed, eminem (idek), karaoke, not proof read

!Katsuki who unintentionally catches himself playing with his hair while talking to you. Not in an obvious way (that's what he thinks at least), but more so absentmindedly fiddling with his side burns and such. It's kinda funny when he accidentally curls them and leaves them like that for a while. He also has a habit of playing with his baby hairs on the back of his neck.

!Katsuki who "accidentally" managed to copy your handwriting style down stroke for stroke? He doesn't really know how it happened, to be honest. He just noticed it one day during a group project after Jirou pointed it out to the two of you. You found it funny, but he found it outrageous and claimed that you had been the one to copy his handwriting.

!Katsuki who allowed you to tag along on one of Kirishima's and his study sessions. He beat the shit out of Eijirou and was gentle with you, more or less. He wouldn't hit you of course, but he certainly wasn't scared to yell. At least the first time. The look you gave him made him writhe with guilt, so he shut the fuck up out of embarrassment.

!Katsuki who heard you talking about a band you loved and decided it was his god given right to go through their whole discography and criticise it in his own time. But turns out, you have good taste, so he keeps to himself about it. "Accidentally" bought a spare ticket to their next concert and offered the spot to you. No big deal, right?

!Katsuki who did extensive searching for your socials, scrolling through his friends friends following, mutuals, and genuinely just word of mouth. When he did find your accounts, he stalked the SHIT out of them. When you requested to follow him, he freaked out and accepted straight away. He didn't follow you back until a week later, "just to be safe".

!Katsuki who unironically took one of those "Do I have a crush on my friend?" quizzes when he started to feel things towards you. 100% went down a rabbit hole on buzzfeed. He wanted to call his "crush" ANYTHING other than what it was. Mentioned it to Kirishima once and was left even ore confused than what he had originally been.

Unrelated but he just looks like he would listen to Eminem. Probably gets a good chuckle out of the whole "You gonna cancel me, yeah? Gen Z me brah?!" thing. Don't ask me to explain why I think this, it just makes sense.

!Katsuki who more often than not is watching you out of the corner of his eye. Not in an overly-creepy way, he's just "aware of his surroundings". He says that to anyone that mentions it, which is literally just his paranoia.

!Katsuki who secretly loved the fact that you hung out with him and his friends almost daily. Because then he wouldn't have to initiate hangouts and look as desperate as he really was. It gave him a plausible excuse to absorb every single opinion you uttered. It gave him an excuse to get even closer to you.

!Katsuki who freaked the FUCK out when everyone (besides the two of you) got sick and couldn't do the bi-weekly hangout everyone had played a part in organising. The group had settled on doing karaoke, so you can imagine how it went down with just the two of you there. Although, the two of you did make an amazing duet. (No one was really sick, Mina just mentioned Katsuki's behaviour and put 2 and 2 together. She also wanted to see if he would take initiative for once.)

!Katsuki who went out of his way to make changes to his hero costume that he knew you would like. Small details here and there, for both style and practicality. While it was cold he would use the neck warmer to hide the smirk that creeped onto his face when he saw you checking out his new look. He also started to make himself look nicer in general, indulging in a bit of jewellery (stud earrings, a ring or two, and a silver necklace), nicer shoes, wearing the uniform properly and such.

!Katsuki who has your number pinned in his contacts, as well as giving you your own message & ring tone sound. He has everyone but you, Kirishima, and his parents on silenced. He also has your contact saved as a nickname he assigned you without you knowing with a heart emoji. It's simple, but endearing.

[tanoraqui]

the thing is... JK Rowling did write the books. She certainly did write the books, which was the pivotal first step.

However, here is an incomplete list of people who meant more to my experience of reading and enjoying the Harry Potter books than JKR ever did:

My grandmother, who read them because she loved to read and because she wanted to understand what the hell her granddaughter - whom she'd recently moved 3,000 in part to live near - spent 90% of her time talking about; who passed away this past fall.

My other grandmother, who read them for more or less the same reason except without the cross-country move; who passed away in 2014. It was in her honor that I bought the current set of books I own.

The uncle-shaped family friend who always listened to me expound on my latest theories for the next book, and told me his own like an equal in intellectual debate

That one writer on Mugglenet's fanfiction archive who wrote a crack soap opera fic in which Professor McGonagall got pregnant from Crookshanks, and the children were cat-human hybrids whom they called "kiddens." That haunts me to this day.

Honestly, collectively every single person who wrote content, be it recordkeeping, fic, or analysis, for MuggleNet circa 2005-2008. Some people spent their internet-childhoods on Neopets or Club Penguin; I read every single page on MuggleNet.com.

The summer camp counselor who'd read HBP when I hadn't yet, and who responded to my positively tsundere attitude toward spoilers by telling me straight-faced that Harry started dating Luna [not Ginny]. A) The fucking audacity! she lied right to my annoying 10yo face! B) I got to experience the giddiness of finding out what happened twice, once then and again later when I read the book! Thank you, Natalie(?) from Y-Camp!

The two friends with whom I went to the DH midnight release party at my local secondhand bookstore, in closet cosplay. We were all in the first 5 people to get our books, and we promptly started reading them while standing outside the bookstore, in the light coming through the front window. 1 of them was parentally required to go to bed but the other and I stayed up all night reading, until we finished the books sometime mid-morning.

My dad, specifically when he (still) tells the story of having to make a "walk of shame" (his words) back to the bookstore the next afternoon, to ask if they had the broom we'd accidentally left behind.

The tourists from America, England, France and China who were all waiting in line at the Platform 9 3/4 overpriced photo op in King's Cross Station the same time I was, in the summer of 2013, which unironically made me feel more spiritually connected with humanity as a whole than possibly any other experience in my life. Like, this is embarrassing. It's a pure tourist trap. Yet people from LITERALLY all around the world had all made the same journey I had to be there, just because we all loved the same books. and that's...really special.

...you know? So, JKR is doing real harm to the trans community now, and will continue to do more and maybe even worse in the future; and I am so, so sympathetic and angry about that. I have no intention of giving her money or any other support ever again, nor of encouraging anyone else to do so.

But all her present vitriol is only drops in the lake of my warm memories. I don't let them give me a falsely rosy view of her, but nor will I let her poison them. And I encourage others to let themselves find the same balance, if they can.

[beatcroc]

hi. vore on main. no that's it that's the post this is straight up genuinely and unironically voreposting on main. mostly just a lot of cutsey dumb goofy shit, but monsterfucker brain did get ahold of me for a bit there so there's also a handful that are uhhhh Spicy. nothing explicit, but like, It's Vore Dude, so if you look under the cut that is YOUR problem ok? ok.

ok listen before i move on i have to put it out there look i KNOW i drew the funny rat skeleton comic with this guy but that was ONLY because it was funny. thats not my real belief, he doesn't have any organs at all he is just a sack of gunk. he is harmless. it's basically just the same inside as on the outside but slightly more damp since it's not exposed to air to give him that drier 'skin' layer.

also i already typed this out in my friendserver so im pasting it here now too. my stance on fp re: horniness is i really can't see him as a 'sexual' being, per se, especially with how non-biological he is, but also he really really really likes physical intimacy so if you are giving him permission to be weird and touchy on you in any context, let alone one both parties would enjoy, i mean. he's not gonna say no. this Could be about sex or w/e if someone wanted to fuck him but more relevantly here yeah it's about vore. i think that's categorically about the Most you can be touchy/in contact on a guy so yeah thats always what he's going to go for. tangentially he just thinks it's fun to make peppino* flustered so since pep does not particularly Enjoy being vored, fp has other options to Get Up In There for something else pep might enjoy *spoken generally for whatever theoretical partner, just peppino is the one that's readily available here and fun to use

also while im here id like to say. no peppino is not a monsterfucker are you kidding me. he is not going to ever go out of his way for weirdness. weirdness really has a way of finding him though, and he's shockingly tolerant of it as long as he doesn't clock it as a threat. anyway what im saying is if you got a big clingy beast around and al up in your business all the time shits just gonna kinda Happen sometimes. he's certainly not going to Encourage it but if hes already in that situation, might as well at that point.

[mediocreanomaly]

i'm so normal. can i request a part 2 to the knives/reader soulmate au? im just so curious how it'd go, hdjdjnd

Authors Note: Non-Normal Knives kisser spotted.

Kidding! yes of course I shall make you a pt.2 (guys am I the Trigun Soulmate guy now? I'm not complaining it's just a bit funny to me, let me infect you with Trigun soulmate au now...)

*Not NSFW but a slightly "spicy" scene at the end (jesus I'm old do people still say spicy unironically? guys I mean it ironically I swear-)*

Read Part 1 Here!

Knives X Reader Soulmate AU Pt.2

•It's a painstaking process, both literally and metaphorically, as Knives recovers

•You feel awful. Your body vaguely burns everywhere, Knives is incapacitated, and the fact it's Legato who sits like a hawk watching over the two of you not yet trusting of your intentions doesn't exactly ease any of your stress

•It's a bit tedious dodging the blue haired mans constant questioning not quite ready to say "hey you know the most feared man in all of Gunsmoke who hates the idea of soulmates is actually my soulmate?" yeah sounds awful.

•So you sit dutifully day and night rewrapping wounds and running your fingers through Knives's hair appreciating that he at least seems to heal much quicker than humans do so hopefully this aching burn will subside quickly

•When he finally wakes up it's, of course, the one time you leave the room to go get something to eat. You almost imagine the dammed plant planned this even though you know it's not the case

•You stand in the door way...saying nothing. The two of you had become close before, was close the right word? but now you felt awkward and out of place watching Knives' cold blue eyes stare a hole into you

"Legato says you haven't left my side" he says, it's more of a statement than a question but you'll bite

"Yes." You say simply, not making a move as if dealing with a wild animal that's ready to pounce

"Why?" He's searching you as if looking for something or...no he's watching you like he's waiting to catch you in a lie

"I think you already know" Is all you can manage. You stay still, waiting for sharpness of metal, you just hope it'll be quick. You weren't stupid, you knew Knives didn't want a soulmate, so there wasn't much to do than to accept the fate the universe had laid out for you. You close you eyes and wait....and wait....and- wasn't he going to kill you?

You peek your eyes open to see Knives watching you with a furrowed brow. You have to admit he looks oddly cute like this despite the fact your life is most certainly in danger.

He stares, as if perplexed by you then scoffs

"This is ridiculous. I'd never be bound to a human like you" he states, you just nod not sure what to do until he sits up straight in bed

"Come, inform me of what's happened while I was asleep"

You aren't stupid enough to try and push the matter or point out the fact he was a little worse off than "asleep" so you just sit on the side of the bed with him, giving him what little information you know.

•After that he begins to talk about his new plans. You listen intently, letting him ramble on about this new era he's planning to usher in

•and if he begins to stray from the topic, if he begins to go on about the Ja'lai incident, or about how he really thought Vash would understand...don't bring any attention to it, your slowly beginning to understand there's a reason he trust you with these things even if he won't say it out loud

•Speaking of which...he won't say anything about the "soulmate" matter out loud. Not now anyways, not yet. He's not sure why but...he can't bring himself to kill you and it scares him. He isn't used to sparing lives besides his brothers and even then his forms of punishment are a lot more severe than what he's willing to do to you

•Not that he didn't contemplate taking a limb or letting you see how sharp his knives can really be but there'd be no point really he'd only be hurting himself (at least that's what he tells himself)

•He's also...a bit protective of you now. Even though he still refuses to say to anyone, including you, that you're his soulmate he does make vague mentions of it when you try to leave and he says something along the lines of

"No you can't leave. If you were to get hurt it'd be inefficient for me"

•(aw he likes you!)

•He begrudgingly lets you begin working again because there was a reason he allowed you to stay with his team in the first place, although if his hovering around your work place was bad before it's 10x worse now

•You are met with the sight of his chest every time you turn around and you have to shyly look up to the piercing gaze that's trained on you like a predator

•eventually you get him to back up a little bit by telling him if you spill any chemicals on him it'll just burn the both of you although he still stands in the corner watching your every move

•In all...don't expect him to be all lovely dovey...yet. Although...

You stand absent mindedly as you look over your work. This formula was driving you nuts and the constant feeling of being watched wasn't exactly helping. You lean down placing your hands on the table scanning over the papers messily sprawled over your desk when you feel a strong pair of hands at your hips.

It takes everything in you not to yelp, only for that feeling to turn into you trying not to moan when teeth nip at the shell of your ear. Knives body is pressed against your back, strong and solid, god you were either touch starved or the soulmate connection was doing wonders because he'd barley even touched you and you felt like you were unraveling. He pushes you forwards slightly forcing you to hold your most your weigh with your arms as you shudder. He's trapping you against the table, mouth trailing down to harshly nip along your throat, right hand running up your side and his left hand is moving to-

he pulls away.

You're breathless. You glance up at him, and if the amused smirk on his face is anything to go by, you look like just as much of a mess as you feel.

"I fixed your formula for you"

you glance down and sure enough...the numbers you had been mulling over all day had been fixed in the matter of...minutes? Seconds?

You watch dumbfounded as Knives strolls away as if nothing happened, even thought the blush painting your face and the bruises beginning to blossom against your neck are more than enough proof

•That's the thing, the universe never prepares you for your soulmate being an asshole. That's okay though, two can play at that game.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

The Usual | Levi Week Day 1 - Teashop

tagging @leviweek2023 💕

✧ word count ➼ ~1k ✧ notes ➼ post-war canonverse, marleyan reader ✧ comments: listen, i know i'm late for levi week because i'm dumb and didn't realize that day 1 started yesterday kdjfkdsjf hope my submission still counts 🥹

The first few weeks after the war was hard. While Levi couldn't say that it got easy, it was certainly better than sitting around pretending to live happily in a peaceful world that was the complete opposite of what he had grown accustomed to.

Now that he didn't have to be a soldier, Levi was forced to find other things to take up his time. Naturally, he gravitated towards his love for making tea.

Marley was oddly devoid of quality teashops, so Levi found his own booming in popularity pretty soon after he opened it for business. It was mindless work that helped him relax, even when it was fast-paced due to a lunch hour rush.

Most people ordered the same thing. He still enjoyed it since making tea always helped him calm his mind without fail, but it did get bland having to repeatedly make matcha or chai tea lattes repeatedly for 8-10 hours straight.

Levi's eyes flashed up as he heard the bell attached onto the front door ring. It was only 11am, so it was still a little early for the 1-hour lunch rush.

His eyes immediately came into contact with yours as you gave him a shy smile and a wave. He didn't return the gesture, but his body posture did seem to relax after seeing that it was you.

You were one of his strangest customers.

He was shocked and honestly thought it was a distasteful joke when you had come into the shop one day and ordered one of his more obscure blends with an annoyingly complicated name that you horrifically mispronounced with confidence. You had looked so proud of the way that you said it that Levi didn't have the heart to correct you.

It was a bitter and tangy blend, unlike a lot of the other more standard teas. It was harder to brew and used more sophisticated leaves that Levi was rarely able to find within the Walls. Even in Marley, which had active trading routes, the leaves were hard to get ahold of, so he was more than surprised when you unironically ordered it. Jumping to that blend from your daily order of a chai tea latte was something that he never expected. Now it was all that you ever ordered.

"They give you a day off?"

You weren't usually here around this time otherwise he'd already have your drink ready for you. That was how predictable your schedule was and how often you found yourself in this specific tea shop.

"Lunch break," you responded with a shrug. "Figured I'd visit a certain grumpy barista."

"Baristas specialize in coffee," Levi immediately corrected. "Just Levi's fine."

You shot Levi a small smile. You didn't regret that one day in which you waltzed in and decided to be adventurous and order the one thing on the menu that no one else seemed to ever pay attention to. You didn't miss the way that Levi's eyes flashed up and how he seemed to prioritize your brew. He enjoyed making it.

You weren't a huge fan of the taste, however. It certainly wouldn't be your first choice in terms of teas.

However, after a few regular visits into his teashop, you noticed how his grumpy demeanor would fade whenever you put in an order for that obscure blend that made you tempted to scrunch your nose when you first sipped at it. You picked up that he liked making it significantly more than the other blends, so you just began ordering it. You eventually grew to like it.

"The usual?"

You nodded, looking directly into his normally intense gaze that always seemed to be a bit softer around you. Your eyes lingered on each other for a bit without any words being exchanged.

Levi eventually cleared his throat awkwardly and broke eye contact with you to walk off to make your brew, unsure how to address what was happening.

You followed suit and took a seat at your usual spot on the counter, watching him as he began working on your drink. You noticed his slight limp that resulted from his injured leg that had mostly healed, although it could still get painful to walk on. You also noticed that he was missing nearly half his fingers on his right hand, but still moved more elegantly than you've ever seen anyone move before, even for something as simple as brewing tea.

You knew that he was a veteran in the recent war, but barely knew anything else about him. You made it your personal goal to get to know him better one day.

Your eyes fell on his again as he brought your drink over to you. You saw that his right eye was clouded, indicating that it had been physically damaged and your eyes lingered on his scars. Even from just a glance, you could tell that Levi had more history behind him than all the people you knew combined. He was certainly more interesting than your mundane coworkers that had nothing to complain about other than minor inconveniences in their lives.

The corner of Levi's lips twitched up ever so slightly as he saw the curious look you were giving him. He wasn't the biggest fan of how he felt around you: you made blood rush to his head, and made his heart pound as fast as it did whenever he was actively fighting a Titan. He didn't like it, but he couldn't keep himself from seeing or being by you when he could, even when all he knew was your name and your favorite drink.

You noticed the small smile that he had sent you, but weren't able to say anything before he turned around to begin addressing the other customers that had wandered in as the lunch rush started.

You were so mesmerized and lost in his movements and presence that you didn't even have a chance to notice that he never charged you for your drink.

[haldenlith]

Finally got around to the Wild Card mission (which had a lovely cutscene). Got inspired to do a fic chronicling the mission with Hal in it, making my boy a bit more of an active participant. I did rewrite with a lot of included dialogue and such, so obviously, spoilers.

Also on AO3.

It really did feel like old times again. Cayde-6, whispering an idea to him in fake hushed tones, pulling him away on some grand adventure he cooked up.

Only this time, apparently Crow was in on it, too. This should be interesting.

“C’mon, kiddo. You’ve been lookin’ a little blue. Well, bluer than usual. Let’s go, kick some bad guy butt, and revel in the victory. You always perked up after a mission or two with yours truly. I know, I know, I have that effect on people.” Cayde paused. “But, you know, kick butt all hushed like. Shh.” Hal rolled his eyes behind his helmet and shrugged. Alright. Fine.

It’d take his mind off of the cracks in Ghost’s shell, if nothing else.

As he was investigating the indicated area, he heard the chatter between the two Hunters over the radio. “Okay, first step of ever successful mission is a codename.” Hal silently wondered if the silly codenames of missions in the past were all Cayde’s idea. He had originally pinned that bit of blame on Zavala, but now he wasn’t so sure. “I’m thinking ‘Operation Finger Guns.’ Think about it.”

“Really?” Crow sounded utterly unconvinced. Hal snorted.

“Such a lack of enthusiasm from a man that unironically used finger guns when debriefing me…”

“HAL. I… we… it was a successful mission! I was being enthusiastic!” Hal had temporarily forgotten comms were open when he made his comment. Cayde brimmed with gleeful laughter.

“Oh that had to be hilarious. Yup. Operation Finger Guns.” An exasperated sigh sounded from Crow.

After a round of investigating and dodging screebs, it seemed it was time to set up camp. Admittedly this was a… less familiar task for Hal. He rarely ever made camp anywhere but his ship, on it, under it, or around it. A Hunter, he most certainly was not. Part of him wondered a bit about their arrangement, really. It sounded like the start of a bad joke, of the “two Hunters and Warlock walk into a bar…” variety. Then again, he wasn’t the average Warlock. Though, it seemed this time his combination of brains and brawn would be put to use for the greatest task yet: … actually setting up the camp, while the other two were… doing something?

It was Hal’s turn to let out an exasperated sigh. Part of this felt like Crow very subtly getting back at him for the small comment earlier. Oh well. He eyed the barrel that would store the Dark Ether.

He couldn’t help but feel like this was… not the greatest of ideas, but he wasn’t the one leading the mission, so he kept his mouth shut as per usual.

A glance was offered to the entirely too small tent. It probably didn’t see much use, honestly, considering how Crow seemed to operate. Hal was pretty sure the man only slept either on his feet for a few spare minutes at a time, leaning against a wall… or when he finally crashed at Hal’s apartment. Thinking of his apartment made his mind wander. The tent was small, and any hanging out in it would require being in very close proximity to the other individual.

It’d been a while since he and Crow had been that close, physically. They’d been so busy prior to Crow jumping into the portal that they hardly saw each other outside of missions. It’d certainly be nice to feel the warmth of Crow’s body pressed up against him aga- “Yo, Cayde to Hal, paging Major Hal. Snap out of it! I don’t know where your brain went, and I don’t wanna know. Let’s get moving. Crow was just saying something something Screebs.” Hal shook his head, shaking out the lurid cobwebs.

“You… weren’t even listening, were you?”

“Sure I was! Something about Screebs, something about corruption, something about we need to shoot them. See? I was listening. Hmm… Screebs. Essence of Screeb. Screeb musk. Eau du Screeb, if you will.”

Hal and Crow recoiled in disgust in near unison. Any frustrated and perverted thoughts Hal might’ve had lingering were completely gone now, replaced with the disgust of “Eau du Screeb”. Not that he imagined any of them were going to smell particularly great at the end of this.

Well, except maybe Cayde. Exos don’t sweat, after all. Hal still wasn’t sure if they were lucky or not on that front.

“Cayde, this is serious.”

“Which is exactly why it needs a stupid name! It helps keep it light! Ugh! I know at least one person appreciates my stupid names, ain’t that right, kiddo?”

Hal was a little too busy shooting the war beast latched onto his arm to respond. This was one of those times that he felt lucky that Striga’s poison didn’t seem to affect him. Perhaps the gun knew not to bite the hand that feeds it. It was a handy little implement, if not hungry. Still, the blue tide of Screebs, with a nice accompaniment of war beasts seemed to be keeping it sated. It was more than enough to dispose of them, however many there were.

A few good shakes of his arms slung off the bit of Screeb juice that had gotten onto his armor. He wondered if the water he saw about this place was actual water, and if he could use it to wash the viscera off later. He only half paid attention to the exchange between Crow and Cayde. Enough to hear that the dark ether was attracting the beasts. So, naturally, going to the heart of it was the next task. How did Crow refer to it? “We’re about to walk into a feeding frenzy.”

Nothing they couldn’t handle.

After dispatching of crazy war beasts and Taken (and having the “alpha” of those beasts rip off a section of his trenchcoat), it was time to regroup back at the little camp “they” set up. Only some Shanks decided to join them. As the trio examined the aftermath, and the missing barrel, Hal couldn’t help but give a sidelong stare at Crow, complete with pursed lips.

Yeah, this was exactly why Hal thought the barrel was a bad idea.

Crow noticed.

“Don’t give me that look.” Cayde snickered off to the side.

“Don’t sweat it. He used to give that look to me all the time. It’s his patented ‘that was a dumb idea, I knew it was a dumb idea, but I let you do it anyway and here we are’ look. Amazing how much he can say with a look.” Cayde wasn’t wrong, not entirely. Crow’s metaphorical feathers ruffled a little.

“I can track it, figure out a likely location, just give me a minute.” Cayde plunked down on one of the little fold out stools.

“Yeah, well, while your calculations are cookin’, pull up a chair. There’s something I’ve gotta talk to you about. Hal, hang tight. Maybe shine the horns on that helmet o’ yours. Nice to see you’re still usin’ it, by the way.” The Warlock sauntered off to the side of the two Hunters, kneeling down and pulling off Nezarec’s Sin, proceeding to do just that. He knew it was in vain, since he figured more guts would be splattered on the metal’s near mirror finish, but… buffing the blue juice off the metal was something to do.

He pretended not to listen. Part of him didn’t want to listen when he heard Cayde open up with, “You know, between us, I think part of me always knew it wasn’t the Traveler that brought me back. I ain’t that special.” Right. The wish. Hal bowed his head down a bit further, focusing harder on the helmet.

He didn’t want to listen, but he was listening.

“That’s not true.” Crow refuted the statement, of course. That Cayde wasn’t that special. Listed off all the people that needed him, though he left Hal off the list. Hal felt him glance back at him. He didn’t need to say it, and Hal didn’t need to see him look his way to know that he did.

“No, that’s the thing. See, I’m not sure they do anymore.” And he didn’t need to look up to feel Cayde’s Light-eyes level on him for a moment, looking past Crow. Hal suddenly wished he’d ignored Cayde’s suggestion of “hanging tight” around them. Still…

He couldn’t deny that Cayde was right. Everyone missed him, deeply, terribly, but did they need him? Old wounds have mended into old scars. Time ticks on. He was mourned, he was loved, but… Hal couldn’t speak for anyone else, but he could speak for himself – he moved on. He was pretty sure everyone else had, too.

“I’ll tell you a secret.” Hearing that from Crow made Hal pause his cleaning of his helmet, amber eyes sliding to watch the two of them from the corner of his eye. “I’m not always so sure I have one either… A purpose. I tell myself I was chosen for a reason, but…” That’s new. Crow… hadn’t mentioned that to him before. It really was a secret. “We all crave meaning, Cayde. That’s just life, no matter who or what gave it to you. Do whatever you want with it.”

It was odd. It felt like the lecture wasn’t just for Cayde, though it most certainly was. There was a nugget of something there Hal, himself, could hold onto. He held up his helmet a moment, inspecting it, before putting it back on and straightening his back. Well, with their chit-chat over, there was little better to do than wait.

He could meditate on the lessons of the day. One: don’t let Crow talk you into storing barrels of dark ether in your camp when ether hungry beasts prowl around. And two: … well… it seems the universe was telling him for a second time to stop with the self-loathing and just live his life.

Well, he’d heard it before, from Ghost, but that was Ghost’s job. The little guy was always there to cheer him on. At this point, Hal partially tuned him out. Not out of malice, but out of habit. He was a noise Hal was accustomed to always hearing, even if that “noise” was true sentiment and encouragement.

Almost instinctively, Hal sent a shard of Stasis singing through the air at a Taken thrall that was approaching the camp.

“We’ve got Taken approaching the camp.”

“I noticed. It’s almost like they knew where we were...”

Hal calmly stood, pulled from his meditation. How long did they let him meditate there? Cayde might not know better, but Crow certainly did. Hal could meditate for hours and hours on end, uninterrupted.

“You’re still mad about the barrel?!”

“I’m not mad, I’m surprised you didn’t realize it was a bad idea sooner.” A soft irritated growl sounded over the comms from Crow.

“Speaking of our stolen barrel, Cayde’s out there tracking it down.”

“And then the Taken appeared.”

“And then the Taken appeared. I spotted them closing in. Apparently, so did you, judging from that shot with the Stasis. Thanks, by the way. You clear the blights, I find the commander of these things. Taken don’t act without a leader.”

Six blights and two Subjugators later, the issue was dealt with.

Hal hated Subjugators. The comms crackled with life again.

“… You sure you’re not mad at me?”

“If I’m mad at you, you’ll know.” Crow winced, remembering the time Hal decked him right in the jaw. Right. Hal’s not the passive aggressive type. He’s the aggressive-aggressive type.

“… So I’m safe to say, ‘hey, come back to camp’ and you won’t try to punch me?”

“Mm, I’ll think about it,” Hal replied teasingly. He returned to find Crow peering off into the distance at the Taken blights as they blinked out of existence. He glanced over at Hal as he approached.

“Nice work out there. Not that I expected any different.” Hal lifted a shoulder in a shrug, stowing Striga. “You know, Cayde… has his own way of doing things. I respect that. He might not think he’s special, but… he’s got a special something. The type of heroism that doesn’t typically lead to a line of succession.” Hal canted his head to the side.

“Sounds familiar. Very familiar.” Crow blinked and laughed softly.

“Flatterer.”

“Not flattery. I mean it. You both definitely have something in common. A spark.”

“Yeah, well, I agree to disagree. But you are right in that he has a spark. The kind of spark that attracts people. Makes them loyal to him. Makes Hunters loyal to him. It’s why many still are. It’s why the Vanguard is still incomplete.”

“They could be loyal to you, you know.”

“Loyal to shooting at me.” Crow turned his gaze to Hal. “… You were certainly driven by it, at one point. It’s why you hunted down Uldren.” A low rumble of discontent sounded from Hal as he turned his head, his own fiery gaze away and out into the distance. He crossed his arms of his chest, falling into a spell of brooding.

Silence fell over them for a few uneasy moments.

He finally looked back to Crow when he felt his hand on his arm. “I thought we agreed to leave the guilt about that in the past?”

“… Says the guy insistent on apologizing to the man he killed.”

“Halcyon…” Crow sighed out with a touch of frustration, letting his gaze fall, but it was then followed up a huffed laugh. Even though the expression was hidden by his helmet, a look of bewilderment settled on Hal’s face. Crow looked back up to Hal. “We’ve spent so much time around each other that we’re picking up the other’s bad habits.” Oh? Hal tilted his head to the side. “You’re picking up my sass.”

He supposed Crow wasn’t entirely wrong. He had gotten sassier when he did speak. Hal chalked it up to the general exhaustion of the war. He never considered he picked it up from the sassiest man he knew.

Well, aside from Cayde.

“And what have you picked up from me?” Crow peered at him with an intensity that made him a bit uncomfortable. It was like he could see clean through the helmet.

“… Go back to meditating. I’ll keep watch.” Hal narrowed his eyes at Crow not just dodging the question but ignoring it entirely, but didn’t press the issue. He merely stepped away, slowly, and went back into the tent, returning to his meditations.

He swore he saw Crow smirk.

Hal opened his eyes to see the camp empty. A blue brow arched at this curious situation. He stood and started to examine the area, but was stopped by a voice over the comms. Crow.

“Hey! Cayde found out who stole our barrel of Ether.”

“It was those Shanks! Or possibly some different, unrelated Shanks. Either way, c’mon over! We’re shootin’ Shanks!” Cayde gleefully exclaimed over the comms. Hal perked. Now Shanks… that was something he could get behind using for target practice.

“Sending you our location. Come and meet us… and bring some bullets. You’ll need them, given how often you miss your shots.”

“Oooooh. You gonna take that from this guy, Hal?” Hal sighed, hanging his head. He should’ve been prepared for that. You don’t sass Crow and come out with him not returning fire. Still, he had nothing of his own to fire back with at the moment. The best he could counter with is how often Crow dies, but he had a bad feeling Crow would have something better to counter that with, and he didn’t want to find out. He simply resigned himself to silence and headed to the location.

As expected, Cayde started getting antsy during the stakeout.

“Sit still! Weren’t you the one who suggested this?”

“Y’know, the only thing better than my first ideas… are my second ideas.” Uh oh. “What if we let Hal do what he does best and just unleash hell?” Hal sighed. There it is.

“And let his fire draw out the leader – smart! Sounds like a plan!”

“You were supposed to disagree.”

“Why would he? Admit it. It’s a great plan.” Hal pulled out his bow and knocked an arrow, muttering to himself about the pitfalls of working with two Hunters.

Granted, Cayde’s done this to him before, so it definitely came with a touch of nostalgia. At least this time he wasn’t flying someone else’s ship, using a stolen cloaking device, towards an even bigger ship that obliterated an entire fleet. Ah, back when he didn’t know any better about listening to Cayde.

Not that knowing better stopped him.

Contrary to Crow’s quip, he was actually quite a good shot at least with a bow. The large Shank finally showed itself a few Shanks in.

“Nine! Ten!” Hal arched a brow at Cayde’s outburst.

“Are you keeping count?” Crow echoing his own thoughts, as usual.

“No, no no, just shootin’ things and sayin’ numbers. That’s 12, by the way.”

“Oh okay. As long as you didn’t think this was a competition… because I’m at 13.” Hal sighed as he ducked behind rocks, letting the Heavy Shank’s shots pelt the rock instead of him.

“Oh THAT’s how it’s gonna be?!”

“C’mon, old guard! I dare you to beat me.”

Oh yes, let’s have a competition while he deals with the big guy.

“… I’m at 20.” Hal muttered.

“Doesn’t count. You got a head start. Ha! 16!” The Warlock pursed his lips at Cayde’s response.

“Aww, sore that a man that’s got terrible aim is beating you? 18.” Hal bristled, letting loose an arrow at a cluster of shanks approaching him. How appropriate they explode in fire as his temper flared for a moment.

“25. Exploding shanks. Shoot smarter, Crow.”

“Yeah, kid, I think he’s beating both of us…”

“Doesn’t count. He got a head start.”

“Glad to know you agree.” Hal growled.

“I am adding both of you to the tally if you don’t cut it out!” An arc round from a Tracer Shank pinged off one of the metal horns of his helmet. Laughter howled over the comms in reply. Irritated as Hal was…

This was kind of fun.

Even if they were only getting to play at Shooting Shanks in a Barrel because he was the bait. Speaking of, he’d lost track of the Heavy Shank. Where’d it go? It’s not like something that large could hide any-

A shot landed square in his helmet and knocked him back.

Ah.

There it is.

He rolled behind cover and disposed of the entourage that came with the Heavy Shank. Then he disposed of the big guy with a handy dandy rocket. He’d already worn it down enough.

Crow and Cayde joined him shortly thereafter to examine the Ether left behind in the wreckage.

“Look at all this raw Ether. Our barrel is still missing, though.” Hal sat down on a rock nearby as the two sifted through the wreckage. Annoying as they were, they were both better trackers than he was. “Well well, got the coordinates this Mega Shank originated from.”

“Sounds like the perfect place to continue our investigation. ‘Operation Boom Pop Wow’ is back on track!”

“What about… Operation ‘Pop-Scorn’?” Hal struggled to suppress a snicker at the terrible pun, standing up.

“Once you pop, the fun don’t stop?” The Warlock added. The three of them had a small chuckle at that addition.

“Now you’re getting it!” Cayde cheerfully exclaimed.

“37, by the way,” Hal stated matter-of-factly. He wasn’t going to let it go. The Hunters exchanged a look before replying, in unison,

“You got a head start.”

Hal chased them back to camp.

Hal sat off to the side, meditating – or pretending to, anyway – while Cayde and Crow talked. Crow, of course, made it a point to apologize, again, for everything he’d done in the past. Cayde, of course, made it a point that it wasn’t necessary. Hal didn’t need deepsight or foresight to see that coming. Though… there was something that sat with him. Something Cayde had said.

“Everybody makes mistakes, kid. And everybody, I mean everybody, pays for ‘em. Don’t you think we’ve both paid enough?”

Hal could only hope Crow listened.

Tracking the source was simple enough with the data Crow had gotten. Everything was going fine. At least, until Crow said the word “Screeb-hole”.

“Screeb-hole! Great. Name.” While Cayde may have appreciated the moniker for the lair, Hal did not. He felt dirty just hearing it. Ugh. A shiver of disgust ran down his spine. Screeb-hole. It was made worse when they found the Screeb-hole.

“Judging by the smell alone… this is our Screeb-hole,” Crow barely managed to gag out. He wasn’t kidding. The smell was… potent. Though, disgusting as they were, Screeb were incredibly satisfying to shoot. The chain reactions were fun to start.

The smell was still awful, though.

When they found the barrel, Crow expressed surprise. “Why’d they drag it in here?”

Because this was clearly a trap. That was the feeling Hal got, anyway. A groan sounded from part of the cave as a strange abomination of a Scorn made his presence known. It was the worst of both worlds, Screeb and Abomination.

And it made baby Screebs. Oh goody.

Though he was battered and bruised with ringing ears by the end of it, he did manage to take the big thing down. Or at least, he thought it was down, observing from a good few paces back as Cayde and Crow approached the corpse. The corpse that proceeded to move and swing at them.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t dead. Crap. He was running low on Light, and ammo. The resulting explosions shaking the cave foundations apparently gave Crow an idea, as Hal took notice of him examining the shaking stalactites.

“We can cave ‘em in!”

It was a blur after that for Hal. He… might’ve been a little too distracted by watching Cayde and Crow work. And keeping the Screeblings off of him. He’d had quite enough of being blown up for one day. When the fighting was done, he slowly approached, looking over at Crow, and his armor splattered in Screeb gunk.

“… You look good in blue.” Crow looked down, then looked at Hal, giving him a once over. Hal’s own black and gold Seraph issued trench was also covered in Screeb.

“Thanks. So do you,” he replied with a small smirk, and a wink. Cayde brushed past the two of them.

“Yeesh, get a room, you two.” The two Awoken exchanged looks as Cayde nudged a bit of rubble with his foot, just to be sure this time. “Pretty good idea,” he tossed back to Crow with a glance. Crow approached, looking at their handiwork.

“Thanks. I have those sometimes.” Crow might’ve shot a quick look at Hal at the end of the statement, but didn’t say anything else otherwise on the matter.

Hal simply sighed, planting his hands on his hips, looking off to the side.

He lagged behind them when it came to returning to camp. He wanted to at least get the Screeb junk off his helmet. When he arrived, he found Crow holding a new cloak, talking with Cayde.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a new cloak. If you’re gonna be the next Hunter Vanguard, you’ll need one.” Hal was thankful he had his helmet on as he grinned from ear to ear. He quickly busied himself with beginning to break down camp off to the side, doing his best to be otherwise invisible. Crow needed to hear it from someone other than him. Besides, he’d say Hal was biased. Which… was a fair point to make. He was biased. He listened to them talk. “This needs to be your choice. If you don’t want it, or you’re not ready, don’t do it.”

“But you’re Hunter Vanguard.” Sometimes the sheer density of Crow’s skull astounded Hal.

“Not anymore! Too much paperwork. What, you want purpose? This is it, kid. Me, I can’t be tied to a desk if I’m gonna find mine. Just… think about it. I dare ya.”

“I will.” Crow meandered off with a stunned look, if not somewhat confused look. “Make sure you celebrate, yeah?” Cayde called out after him. “Take this kid with you when you do, by the way. Lord knows he needs some spice in his life. Warlocks, am I right?” He added. Hal finished up breaking up camp, glancing back to Cayde standing there with his hands on his hips, muttering to himself. He jerked, as if coming back to his senses, looking around. “Well wouldya look at that! You got that done lickity split and without any help! I should’ve brought you along more often, back in the day. Man! Anyway, big fight comin’ up. Let’s get to it.” Hal let Ghost transmat the supplies back now that they were packed up. As he stood up, he felt Cayde lightly nudge him, leaning in to add, “You’re still my favorite, by the way. Just thought you should know. Race you back to the City?”

Hal smiled, shook his head, and followed after Cayde.

Just like old times.

[gaypyro]

Rating the New Champions Variant Covers

So marvel recently revealed a bunch of Varient Covers of "What if every hero had a sidekick/youth counterpart" and while I love most of the designs, some definately are better then others

#22

I hate the Vision Design and I dont know why. Something just feels fundamentally off about it/ Maybe its the fact its a pitch white, skintight 8 year old? Maybe its the posing? The Debris? IDK Man is feels weird.

#21

and

#20

These two get paired together for a single reason

It's just Billy and Teddy. I love Billy and Teddy, their some of the only actual Gay Men in Marvel, but come one guys. Certainly you can do a young Dr. Strange and Young Hulk thats different? Strange goes higher if only because I like the art more, the Young Hulk I just dislike entirely

#19

Speaking of uninspired, the only reason Miles is above Billy & Teddy is that at least shes a different gender then her mainline counterpart. Other then that its probably the laziest design here. Also, you may notice the webbing seems off, that will be a recurring trend here where limbs or background elements were layered improperly or something.

#18

I actually really like this character design. It looks like a fun character in a superhero elementry school spin-off book. The only issue um... thats Storm. Its the next gen Storm and she's white. That's basically my only issue, and why shes above the 3 I actively somewhat dislike designwise, but... Storm is one the premiere Black Superheros. Having her next gen counterpart be white feels so weird. I

#17

On one hand, I can 100% see normal Deadpool wearing this. On the other, the My Boy adds way to much charm for me to rate it with the other uninspired ones, and at least I dont feel like its whitewashing anything. We are at the point where I'd unironically love to see any of these designs in a book, even if its an Elseworld instead of main universe one.

#16

Teen Female Wolverine has been done to death, but I do like how this one goes for a more monstrous Angle compared to Laura and Gabby. The tattered, beast up costumes, beastial feet, large Ponytail giving off the deelling of a mane, nasty looking teeth, and BONE CLAWS very much makes it feel more like a feral forest mutant then the more clean, assassin design Laura had.

#15

The big thing I like here is it isn't a reimagining of Carol Danvers current, captain marvel outfit, but her Miss Marvel ones. We already have Kamala for a new gen version of Carols current design, so a reimigining of the old one, in a way that doesn't feel super fetishy is nice. First I thought it was a dude, but it might be a girl? Unsure.

#14

I really love this design, but it doesn't really scream Black Panther... and I honestly dont care. I love bright colors, makes my brain go byr, and the fact she has a completely different powerset most likely intrigues me.

#13

I have a weakness for fishpeople of all types ok? I find the designs naturally appealing. Even still, Starlord's Chibi Starfish Successor is neat, but not amazing. The ideas done a lot better later on.

#12

He looks like he is having so much fun with his Mentor. I also like how, unlike everyone else, Black Cat's Apprentice is kinda chubby. I don't know man he just seems like he'd be a fun guy to hang out with at college.

#11

Whats better then a succesor to one hero? a Succesor to TWO HEROES! The Captain America Succesor I feel very much has some elements of Wasp design, and I always am down for High Tech Wingspans even if they weren't intentionally going for it.

#10

Instead of being the Scarlet witch they made her the Magenta Witch. All in all I just really like the sorta sorceror design, especially the chosen color scheme. Also ghostly mystical fire is fun you should follow it into the swamp.

#9

Listen I love this design. Its in the top 10 for a reason but man... that arm. Every time I see the image I cant help but notice how insanely small his arm is, like he was supposed to have both arms resting but they decided "Have him twirl a stake so people know its blade."

#8

Moon Squire is here to kick ass and pass third grade math! I just like the Cowl mixed with baseball cap design lol. Moon Knight always fucking kills it with the drip though so im not surprised.

#7

A Friend told me It's Gwen Tennyson cosplaying Magneto and now I cant not see it. I do like that shes implied to have a different powerset then Eric as well, always fun when they did that.

#6

The better Chibi Venom. Only missed the top 5 since I dont think he'd be able to carry a book as the main protag, he is the perfect sidekick though. Just this mildly creepy cutie pootie handing with the fairly creepy Symbiote. After Extreme Venomverse shouldn't be surprised the Venom varient is amazing, but I am suprised thats the direction they went.

#5

If Next Gen Storm and Next Gen Moon Knight are in the Elementary School book, Wee-Hulk is the main god damn character. She's just a very fun little kid hulk, I especially love how shes doing the Iconic "She-Hulk holds a Car Above her head" pose with an electric scooter.

#4

Listen, Non-Binery Latin America Iron Man with the Criminally Underused Grey Armor design is great. They gpt Green Hair, Pronouns, and the backing of Americas #1 Arms Dealer, ready to take on the world!

#3

The Thing has become one of them Yancy Street Kids, and the Fantastic Four are his gang. I just love the design, Spiky Rock person is always a favorite of mine.

#2

Miku Ghost Rider. On Roller Skates. With a fucking Hellfire Flail. I am imagining she has an entire like, Magical Girl Transformation Sequence whenever she transforms, just with a lot more demons and fire then normal.

#1

Listen, I get it. Legs dont bend like that. She is objectively less creative then the last 3 or 4. But, I like Crows. I like Ravens. I like Thor. And this Thor looks like she wont take any of Odins BS when he goes shit dad mode.

[crystalflygeo]

jhgfcdvgbhnjk but here's a lil thought to chuckle over, but imagine accidentally introducing li to the whole 'daddy kink' shebang when you accidentally call him that. cue him looking increasingly confused because??? did he??? misread the relationship??? ( he is confusion and panicking and questioning is existence, your honor ).

now you have to spend the next few minutes telling him that no, no this was a strictly sexytimes thing, li stop developing a crisis pls.

NO BUT LIKE THIS IS SO FUNNY SCGVASHVCJHANJK-

So like fun fact I don’t really like daddy kink, I don’t. It makes me kinda uncomfy idk why?? But when the fandom started calling Zhongli “geo daddy” from the start I jumped right in since it was funny, like it’s just a joke, right? fast forward 2 years and I can unironically call zl that what is life this man can get me into any kink is2g it has happened multiple times already //head in hands but I still very much treat it as a joke/tease?? It still gives me asdcvghbjk vibes personally?? ( I much MUCH prefer sir/lord/master ehe//SHOT) Zhongli is the exception anyway

Zhongli has you pressed on the couch, lips claiming yours passionately as you groan and try to pull him impossibly closer. Your hands finding purchase on his dark locks, your legs parting to make way for him, before rubbing one of them sensually against his side and around his hip.

His breath hitches as the heavy kiss stops for a moment. It's certainly starting to feel hot and you want all those layers off.

Your hands fumble with the intricate clasps of Zhongli's coat while his hot breath tickles at your neck. He nibbles and sucks there, effectively making harder your goal of getting his coat off, you huff frustrated.

Zhongli chuckles and pulls back a moment to discard the article of clothing himself, draping it over the back of the couch, before leaning back to pepper you with kisses and nibbles. His pelvis rubs against yours with a slow drag and you let out a breathy moan at the feel of his sizeable bulge.

"Ah! P-Please... daddy..."

The word slips out without even noticing, but what you do notice is how Zhongli stills on top of you, petrified for a few seconds.

Oh.

Oh no...

Your eyes widen a little and you blush profusely as you stare at his equally shocked expression. You really haven't talked about this, or even mentioned it before, maybe he finds it odd or uncomfortable?

He pulls back again and you barely contain a frustrated whine. Your legs still parted around his lap, splayed enticingly on the couch when in reality you wish you could just curl up into a ball, embarrassed.

"I'm- I'm sorry it just came out, I-"

"Do you... see me as a father figure, y/n?"

You almost choke.

"W-What?!"

"I'm" He coughs into his fist, a pink dust over his cheeks. "I know I'm... far older than you but..."

Oh this is not happening.

You just lie there, mouth agape, incredulous while looking at him stumble over his words.

"Have I... been misreading our relationship and your affection for me?"

He looks straight up distraught and you're not sure if you want to cry or laugh.

"Stop- No. Li." You scramble to sit up. "Listen, it's... i-it's a kink thing..." You explain, feelings your cheeks heat up.

"... an... incestuous fetish?"

You want to die.

"Zhongli!" You squeak mortified. "NO! Nothing like that, sweet Celestia!" You drag a hand down your face. Great, now both of you are looking really uncomfortable, the mood has been killed, and you actually have to explain a daddy kink to this 6000 years old God.

“I’m just not sure-”

You sputter and frantically move your hands in front of him. "Alright just- stop, stop- stop talking. Before my face gets any redder and this gets any weirder. I-I'm sorry I blurted out that one on you, alright? Now..." You inhale, oh boy here it goes. "It's... kind of a dominance thing. I like t-that you're... older, and stronger." You try to word out carefully. "So you take care of me, of my needs, and you protect me." You mumble. "S-so you're my daddy, I'm your baby. It's exciting."

He... doesn't look very convinced.

You huff.

"Alright, you know how I like it when you call me little one? When you use pet names and tell me I'm good? It's sort of like that... it's dirty talk." You bite your lip, shuffling on the couch a little restless.

Zhongli looks pensive now, a hand to his chin and his brows frowning cutely as he usually does when considering things.

Is he still overthinking things? You sigh and your shoulders and head sag in defeat.

"You know what? Please, just forget about it don't start having an existential cris-"

His hand then tips your chin up and he leans in to whisper at your ear, voice deep and velvet smooth.

"So, you want daddy to take care of you, baby?"

A shiver goes down your spine.

He pulls back and stares at you with a mix of amusement and wonder. Seemingly fascinated and proud of having gotten such a strong reaction as your entire face flushes red and you stare at him speechless.

He chuckles good-naturedly. “Like that?”

Now that's just not fair...

"Y-You can't just...!"

"Oh? Was that not-"

"Do it again."

[imichelle-l-rigby]

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Series 3, episode 2

———————————————————————

*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

———————————————————————

And now for episode 2…

🎵 Set 1 (Gonna Be - Sun King)

Gonna Be: an interesting beginning! I like the layers of motivic play from low, mid, and high parts of the texture. Fun instrument and sound effect choices, as well!

Come Home: harmonies are dense, but so wholesome and satisfying. It reminds me of a lot of Americana material.

Sun King: I LOVE THE BEATLES SO UNIRONICALLY 😍😍😍😍. Also, Abbey Road had its birthday this past week! 😊

🎤Talking Break

“Blathering blindly”

“Bus stops along the way”

He sounds more chill this time than last week? His voice is giving serious ASMR vibes

“Treash”

His love of close harmonies is so valid 👌

That’s adorable him asking his dad about the faux Italian in “Sun King” 😂

🎵Set 2 (SpongeBob -

SpongeBob: I promise you that this is the last thing I think of in association with SpongeBob! 😅 while this is objectively good, it’s not my cup of tea. I do like that I can understand/follow the lyrics. Well done and well constructed.

Officina stellare: I like this! A fun, atmospheric piece.

I’m not sure why this and SpongeBob go together, but the juxtaposition is striking.

🎤Talking Break:

Italian pronunciation should be: oh-fee-chee-nah steh-lah-rey

“Brilliant atmosphere of doom” ok… way to bring down the vibe, Cillian! 😅

🎵Set 3 (Weird Lullaby - Nite Owl)

Weird Lullaby: I do enjoy some good, original jazz. Swing era, and an unorthodox use of scat. I looked up Babs, and I need to find more of his stuff. He’s got an enjoyable voice, and approaches harmonies in a beautiful way.

Nite Owl: even though this is also an “oldie,” it is a STRONG difference compared with the previous!!! But I like this - what a feel good song! Good use of what is now called a “twang” vocal technique (twang isn’t just for country music).

🎤Talking Break

Now I need to listen to Frank Zappa’s Jukebox…

Joke’s on you, Cillian! First time I listened to this I was NOT “headphoned up!” 😂 I know, I’m such a rebel! 😂😂 Jk I was too lazy to go get my AirPods

🎵Set 4 (Trees, etc. - A Slice of the Top)

Trees, etc: well, it’s certainly better/more enjoyable than “Revolution 9” - that is one trippy, scary song! But I’ll be honest, I expected more “sound directionality” when he said to “headphone up,” like when you can hear the direction of the sound change from left to right. Regardless, this is a cool concept piece.

A Slice Of The Top: more jazzy, for sure. I’m loving the different riffs! Something about it sounds like Afro-Cuban jazz, but idk why? Maybe it’s the background rhythms? Fun dissonant harmonies, though!

🎤Talking Break:

“There is some coherence… somewhere”

🎵Set 5 (Dr. Ring Ding -Jack Ruby)

Dr. Ring Ding: the intro is so weird 😅 but no, this is a cool song. Again, I always appreciate some good riffs/solos!

Jack Ruby: same artist!! Wow! And man, I just wanna dance listening to these songs!💃

🎤Talking Break

A Cork specific question!

I saw somewhere someone was asking what a “boogie” is supposed to mean. I *think* (?) it’s just a jam session or performance of some kind??? At lest that’s how I’m interpreting this story.

A pub called Snotty Joe’s?! 😂😂😂

Ejected from establishments 😂😂😂😂

Corkonians

“Brilliantly sound self”

🎵Set 6 (Gone Daddy Gone - Downtown Train)

Gone Daddy Gone: ok, this is a boogie, if I say so! The instrumental track is fun, though repetitive. The vocal line is fairly monotone. Idk why monotone songs work, but they do (Mr. Brightside is a great example of monotone done right)! And a marimba solo?! Yes, please! 🤩

Downtown Train: ok… Tom Waits’ voice is not my favorite. That being said, this is a good song. It’s not something I would listen to often because of the vocals, but it’s definitely got merit. And something about this is so nostalgic?

🎤Talking Break

Aretha!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

Yay archive material!!!

“Baby, baby, baby”

🎵Set 7 (Baby, Baby, Baby)

Baby, baby, baby: I have no words. Aretha has SUCH a lovely, effortless-sounding voice! And her songs are so soulful! Perfection. 💯

🎤Talking Break

Thoughts on Bill: he’s eclectic. But his description is vague and I wish he’d be more specific.

🎵Set 8 (Free’s - Weird Sisters)

Free’s: the melody isn’t ambitious (almost like a recitative), but his voice has a nice, rich quality to it! And the instrumentation is fun! Almost like a little jazzy flute riff along with atmospheric backing.

Weird Sisters: enjoyable song! Definitely enjoying the slow build in texture - well done.

As a voice teacher, I want to double check some vocal production techniques of his. I’m not sure if some of the vocal anomalies I’m hearing are purposeful or not. I think they’re done on purpose, but if not, he should go visit an ENT (the doctor, not the talking tree). TLDR: vocal health is important.

🎤Talking Break

Oh no… not more weird dude from Yorkshire 😅

I’m still so confused.

Ok… an introduction to the next artist.

🎵Set 9 (Micael)

Micael: I like this song a lot. Guitar is haunting, atmospheric, and repetitive. The other instrumental and sound effects in the back are nice additions! The vocal line and it’s layers just keep adding to the strangeness of this song. It’s a puzzle, and I think that’s why I like it - it keeps you on your toes!

🎤Talking Break

An exclusive! 🙀

Oooh… a book reading!

Comments on Jarvis: yes. Music is a magic trick! His French is good. *the tingle* - yep! So important!

“Pop music was real music as far as I was concerned” - I do disagree with this point. All music is real. You may not like it, but that’s a different subject 🤷‍♀️

🎵Set 10 (Black Magic)

Black Magic: why is this such a banger??? 😎😎😎 the bell line is a really nice touch, and I like it’s unique and unexpected melody compared to the more predictable vocal line and chorus.

🎤Talking Break:

“Thank you, Jarvis”

🎵Set 11 (Harmoniser Dub - The Smoke)

Harmoniser Dub: for something with “harmonize” in the title, there isn’t much harmonizing… (I know, I’m being purposefully obtuse) 😂 but a fun use of electronic sounds and non-vocal music!

The Smoke: I like this a lot more than the previous song! Lots of unexpected rhythmic pauses, and the mysterious vocal line is cool 😎 I like how this song is constantly morphing and borrowing styles to form a whole.

🎤Talking Break

Love remixes!

“No let’s not play the ident”

“Friends”

🎵Set 12 (Lwonsome Tonight - All Souls)

Lwonsome Tonight: now I have a complicated relationship with her voice. She purposefully sings in a thin, unsupported style and in a difficult portion of her range to create a specific haunting/folksy effect. I get it, but I don’t care for it. Good storytelling, and the vocal melody has an interesting contour.

All Souls: a strong contrast with the previous song! I like the electronic distortion and sub-pulses. 👍 the piano line is reminiscent of some of the driving pulses in funeral marches, so that’s a cool touch. I would say I prefer this song to the other one featured.

🎤Talking Break

I do love covers

🎵Set 13 (PinkMoon - Paprika Pony)

Pink Moon: I like this! Fun electronic components, and a pleasant head-dominant vocal production. This is such a vibe! ✨

Side note: isn’t AURORA featured in Frozen 2?

Paprika Pony: WHOA what a contrast! This is all clear-cut edges where the previous is all soft and fluffy. I know that has nothing to do with musical qualities, but that’s how I’m hearing it tonight.

I guess this set is tied together by alliteration? 😂

🎤Talking Break

“Anthemic” - I did not know that was a word!

🎵Set 14 (Stand Anthem)

Stand Anthem: I’m sorry, Cill, but I don’t like this. I enjoyed the first 20 seconds? It does have a “We Are The World” vibe, but it’s so repetitive. I think it’s the “stand” portions I dislike most - they don’t go anywhere. There’s no sense of build or momentum, and I’d really like to have that featured, especially in an anthem!

🎤Talking Break

Yay! Irish music!

Set 15 (Foreign Fleas)

Foreign Fleas: dude, this sounds dark and scary! 🫣 but that’s not a bad thing! I’m just a wimp 😂 but there are some nice, crunchy, dissonant harmonies in the vocal line. 👍

🎤Talking Break

“Brave and moving act of communication”

“Multitudinal”

What’s a Wally???

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 16 (Become the Earth - Distant Sky)

Become the Earth: oddly enough, I would describe her voice as “earthy” 😂 the simplicity of this song is nice. Heavily produced stuff is nice, but so is something like this. There’s still some post-production parts, but it’s not overwhelming. I did like that descending and ascending slide in the backing vocals! That was cool!!!

Distant Sky: Nick Cave is one of those artists who has such a gift when it comes to storytelling. However, his voice isn’t my favorite. That being said, what he adds instrumentally and through storytelling outweighs his vocal production (which is also a choice, I believe). And the juxtaposition of Nick and Else Torp is just wow! Overall, this is a beautiful song, and I’m happy the show ended so strongly with this gorgeous piece.

———————————————————————

And that’s episode 2! Honestly, I’m surprised I was able to get this out by Friday - this week has been hectic! 😂😅

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Feel feee to share/comment! 😊

Tag List:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

[riflebrass]

I got into a fight with my idiot friend last night. I posted a dad joke and he didn't get it so when I explained the joke I gave him some shit for it and he went off on me in a non-sexual way. I hit him up on Discord and he hit me with 40 comments in a row (I counted) in under 20 minutes.

Most of it was about how his life is changing and how he has to change as a person for the sake of this new job, but the thing that really got me was that he said it was exhausting how I'm a fucking retard all the time and he wished I could be normal for just once in my life. Had that been literally any other friend I would have taken it to heart, but this motherfucker is the LAST person to expect me to be normal.

His story isn't as long a saga as Chris-Chan but he's still got some history of being the biggest fucking idiot I know. Here's just a few of my favorites.

He fucking hates the homeless. He was homeless himself for like a year and a half. What kept him off the streets for almost all of it was a support network of friends who would offer to take him in. He would contribute absolutely nothing and refused to look for a job until he wore out his welcome then moved onto the next friend he would mooch off of. In his mind what makes him a better person than all the other homeless people is that he never had to beg for help because he always knew someone who would take him in.

He's never held down a job for longer than a month and a half because he constantly fucks up. He fucks up basic procedure. He shows up hours late because he was up all night playing video games and he overslept. He makes inappropriate comments about female co-workers right in front of them. He calls female management on their emergency phone to ask them out on a date. It's all just really dumb shit like this that keeps him from being a productive member of society.

He fucking hates socialism but has been living on every form of government assistance imaginable for the last several years because he has ADHD. He successfully lead the government to believe he is 100% incapable of being "normal" in any capacity. He demands that everyone else pull themselves up by their bootstraps and put their nose to the grindstone at a job but he earned his government handouts because his parents didn't raise him right. That's really his justification for it.

Dude once told me he is further ahead than me in life because he has his own place while I have to live with a roommate. The fact that his entire life is subsidized by the government while I'm actually contributing to society is irrelevant. He has his own place so he's the real success here.

He's the only guy I know who unironically listens to Andrew Tate.

That paints a pretty good picture of the kind of retard I'm dealing with here. I know I've got a pretty dumb and outright weird sense of humor. I know my personality can be pretty abrasive at times. I know I certainly have my own moments of dumbassery, but for this guy to say I am ALWAYS retarded and that I should just once try to be normal? Fuck him lmao.

[merakiui]

Idia? 👀👀👀

Idia… AAAAAA IDIAAAAAAA OTL I love him. It took time for me to like him, but omg he’s great. He’s so unironically funny. It makes sense that he would be a babygirl because Hades was also very babygirl in my eyes. <3 Idia being a fan of idols and manga and anime feels so real. The way he gets so hyped over his favorite things is fun to see. He’s clearly very passionate. <3 I want to play video games with him hehe!!

Also, book 6 Idia… he hits different. Something about Styx Idia is so appealing to me (it’s the uniform. Men in uniform are always so lovely). Even though I know he doesn’t want that job, it’s so hot of him to work at Styx as Acting Director being so articulate and scientific and WOW I NEED HIM. When he kidnapped the NRC students WOOOOOOO Idia, do me next please!!! I am not normal about it. orz

Sometimes I like the idea of Styx Idia more than regular Idia, but that’s just because medical horror stories are always so fun to think about. And the way Styx can be so brute-force at times. And the way they function on their own outside of the government (I think)??????? AAAAAAAAAAA book 6 has given me so many things I didn’t think I needed.

But regular Idia is just as wonderful. I love how he can be such a brat at times. The masquerade event made me want to kiss and kick him at the same time aaaaaaa!!! And when he gets so proud of his work!!! I love seeing that because he deserves to be proud and flex his big science brain hehe!! It’s always disheartening to see him put himself down, but then maybe I’m down bad because I’d sit in his room and be so engaged while listening to him ramble about anything. I’d like to study him under a microscope. He’s so interesting to me.

AND FUNNY!!!! I already wrote it once, but I’m writing it again because no twst character has made me laugh as much as Idia has. His dorm vignette had me crying with laughter. It was so funny to me. I can’t believe I had laughed too much that my ribs were hurting and then I didn’t want to laugh anymore, but he kept being himself and omg,,,, real tears were shed. I was not expecting his dorm vignette to be anything like that, but it certainly didn’t disappoint.

[mxhirus]

misogynists in the ONS fandom: Welcome to the “fuck Mahiru” club, where we all say a giant “fuck you” to that bitch! Who wants to speak first?

Guren, bolting up from his chair: I think there’s been a mistake.

Couldn't have said it any better. Guren unironically defended Mahiru (NOT MAHIRU NO YO) for legit every single thing she did. My boy's monologue about himself............

"mahiru was like a goddess and im a fucking rat crawling on the ground" tl;dr ver and that says a hell lot about Guren as a person. Because, obviously Guren doesn't give a doggy style DAMN about Mahiru's status as a Hiiragi but rather how he percieved her.

The "Fuck Mahiru" club would probably be started by someone in Guren Squad (Maybe Shinya, but i don't think he'd dog on Mahiru too much, seeing as she is Guren's first and only love). Maybe if he was mad enough at Guren for something would he do that lol, i think Shinya does care about people's feelings somewhat

so here's a small scenario in which it does happen because im bored.

--

Guren Squad is seated at a table, all eating lunch. Shinya invited them to eat with him for the sake of it. Guren sits there, eating his lunch silently while listening to the other's conversations. Shinya, taking a sip of his coffee, smirks and announces loudly: "Welcome to the Fuck Mahiru club! Where we all say a giant “fuck you” to that bitch! Who wants to speak first?"

As Shinya begins to open his mouth, almost as if to answer himself, Guren's downcast eyes dart right up to Shinya's face, as he pushes his seat outwards. "What the fuck, Shinya?" he murmured out. He wasn't exactly stunned, but he certainly didn't expect this.

"I'm sure you've got lots to say, Guren." Shinya snickers out, holding his hand to his mouth. However, his snickering is met by Guren's silence. He stops, only to look at Guren again.

Guren's mouth is slightly agape, almost like he processed the entire situation splayed out before him. He closes his mouth and glares at Shinya, getting up. "If this is what you called us here for, I think I will be leaving."

"Calm down, Guren! It's just a silly joke." Shinya says lightly. It was, in fact, a joke. He simply wanted to see how Guren would react to such a situation, and if he would even indulge.

Guren slowly re-seats himself, and crosses his arms over eachother. "Real funny."

From behind Guren, Mahiru-no-Yo wraps her arms around him, whispering into his ear. "My my, Guren. You care so much about me! Won't let anyone speak ill of me, even if I'm dead? So cute."

Guren says nothing in response. He couldn't say anything at all. He froze up at the sound of Mahiru-no-Yo's voice ringing out. It sounded like Mahiru, it felt like it was Mahiru herself... but it wasn't. He blushes, only a little, at the reminder of Mahiru's existence. However, it faded quickly, as he reminded himself that it wasn't truly her... and it would never be.

He snaps out of his thoughts, as Mito calls for him.

"Hey, Guren, you okay?"

[penroseparticle]

1, 2?

Unironically I knew you would ask me the two best questions on this whole damn list, thank you Izzy for being the GOAT.

Song of the year? God what songs even came out this year. I don't think this year was a year where new music happened for me. (One of the biggest hits this year was... Fast Car. Do you remember that??? What???) I'm a little tempted to say Fast Car, but that's cheating on Ms. Tracy Chapman, who is unimpeachably the best version of the song (And wouldn't it kind of suck if the song of the year was just. An inarguably well done but ultimately less meaningful rendition of a song from like 45 years ago) If I can pick songs that I encountered this year but didn't come out this year, I could go on for a while. Lonely by Jamila Woods, All My Girls Like To Fight by Hope Tala, Get Down by Woozy. I think Van Gogh by Mette is great but not the song of the year for me, certainly. Rush by Troye Sivvy? It's more honest but doesn't feel right to me totally. Is It New Years Yet has new toy syndrome, AND it's a holiday song, AND it's a Sabrina Carpenter song that complains about overplayed music. Like. Self aware much? And also means it can kick rocks because that is NOT song of the year material. But I like music with a groovy influence, I'm a little corny, and I can't lie about this kinda thing. I categorically refuse to put Build a Boat on my top anything list, regardless of Spotify telling lies about my listening habits. (This is me lying about this kinda thing). I don't want to repeat a year in review song, either, which kinda makes this harder. I guess I gotta give it to You Wish by Flyana Boss, because it's the only song that's not 1. on my year end list, or 2. a song that had a reservation/caveat/well, actually attached to it.

Album of the year? My two top albums of this year were Something To Give Each Other and Jaguar II, but I have to give it up to Victoria Monet honestly- I didn't take to a piece of music this fast since when I saw Young Empires open for Reptar and fell in love on the first song of the set. I listened to Smoke and I was hooked- maybe it's the drug culture references but joyful and openly honest, maybe it's the slick production and variety on the album, maybe it's that it's not afraid to be goofy as hell ("I'm so deep in my bag, like a grandma with a peppermint" is quite possibly an all timer goofy lyric that still hits the right timber for the braggadocio it's placed as in the song, "It's a bisexual blunt it can go both ways" is just. so fuckin stupid, I love it.), maybe it's the features (Lucky Daye? EARTH WIND AND FIRE???), maybe it's the touch of old hollywood glamour at the end and the clear love of motown sensibilities juxtaposed with her talking about her 4K titties. I don't know man, it just rewired my brain but in a good way. More than that, Victoria made me cognizant of her in the stuff I already liked. Like. She has writing credits/backing vocal credits for Ariana Grande. I CAN HEAR HER IN THE SONGS SHE HELPED WRITE. She's goofy and sexy and has some fun production preferences, and I can hear her sometimes now even when she's composing/producing for other artist. I haven't been able to peg a pop writer this hard since good ol' jackie, and that's because he's everywhere and also in like 3 solo projects and also Taylor Swift's silver bullet. But like I can directly point to how much she worked on Thank You Next and the all time greatest Ariana album, Dangerous Woman. She helped write Body Count, Sin City, On The Way... all songs I liked by other artists, but didn't realize who, you know, helped make. This is not to say I didn't love Troye Sivan this year- and both these artists made my year end retrospective. I really dig Troye's album (Though I run into the issue I have with a lot of albums where I like but don't love the second half of it, which is why Victoria took the W.). Give the songs In My Room or What's The Time Where You Are a listen for sure. It's just. so hard to find an album you unironically vibed with. Unashamedly and openly. I honestly don't care if anyone else likes this album, because I loved it. I'll stream it enough for all of us, a bitch might buy it on vinyl Anyways sorry for running on so long, it's Jaguar II by Victoria Monet, because if we have to say Goodbye, let's make it a Good Bye is something I want to live by now that I've heard it.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve always said my stance on Michael McIntyre is he was fine on WILTY (his car story was a good one), came off as nice enough that time he subbed in for an episode of Russell Howard and Jon Richardson’s radio show while Russell was in Australia, and otherwise everything I’ve heard about the sort of thing he does makes me think it’s not interesting enough for me to seek it out. So I haven’t heard his stand-up, meaning it’s a little disingenuous the way I laugh along to jokes made by other comedians about it, since I don’t actually know. Maybe he’s brilliant and I’ve just never checked. More likely, I thought, he’s probably fine, and has just been arbitrarily picked as the go-to example of bland accessible shitty mainstream comedy, and then that reputation snowballed more every time someone else used him as an example, until he was probably unfairly considered the absolute pinnacle of that.

That’s what I thought before today. Today, I listened to season one of 4 Stands Up, a BBC Radio Four show from 2007-2009. It’s pretty cool, each episode features three different comedians doing a short stand-up set. In between you get the host, which is Michael McIntyre in season one, Rhod Gilbert in season two, and Chris Addison in season three. I’m currently about halfway through the fourteen total episodes, and it’s nice. A cool way to hear a little at a time of a bunch of different UK stand-ups who were around (anywhere from up-and-coming to fairly well established) in 2007, 2008, and 2009. I recommend it to anyone who’s sort of interested in stand-up comedy but doesn’t know enough about it to have a good idea of who they like – this is a good way to get a sample of a lot of them so you can download full shows from the ones you like and ignore the ones you don’t. I certainly haven’t enjoyed all of it so far, but some has made me laugh.

Anyway, the thing that connects the two above paragraphs is that all four episodes in season one were hosted by Michael McIntyre, and I can now confirm that he is everything people say. Weirdly, he is exactly what people say. I say it’s weird because it’s the sort of comedy that I normally only hear from the mouths of comedians who are making fun of that type of stand-up. But Michael McIntyre is doing it unironically, while sounding generally smarmy and annoying, and it is not good.

So yep, it turns out all of the comedians who spent all of 2009-ish to 2016-ish using Michael McIntyre as their example of a comedian that all other comedians fucking hated, they had a point. I mean, he might be a nice enough guy, and it’s quite possible that most of those comedians didn’t really hate him and were just jumping on the collective snowball (somewhat ironically, as talking shit about Michael McIntyre on a panel show is doing an easy cliched thing, which is exactly what they all accuse McIntyre of doing, the fact that it turns out to be an accurate accusation doesn’t make it less cliche), but his comedy is definitely irritating. They’re right about that.

[b0mblover]

A Colder Hell

By: J

in the west it [hell] is often portrayed as fire and torcher, while I myself don’t believe in hell or god, i thought itd be interesting to have my own interpretation, oh and it popped into my mind when listening to dream sweet in sea major.

(yes i am okay /gen this isnt me projecting, i unironically just wanted to write hell as being water and third person didnt feel like itd satisfy me, IM OKAY SRSLY. im actually doing quite well tonight :D)

the only cw there would be is religion (i think)

————————-

yknow, they say that you should repent, pray to the ‘good lord above’ i did yknow, i sure fuckin did.

i thought id see you again, floating out onto the water, i had almost no doubts, the further and further i drifted away from land- the harsher the waves became- around hour 55 i think i realized that im not seeing you again.

some say you go to a ‘purgatory’ of sorts when you die, i questioned if this was what that felt like.

the harsher the waves became, freezing cold water pooling in my lungs, the violent waves sucking me under over and over again.

they said id burn, well, im certainly not warm.

around hour 160 part of me realized that im not leaving these waters.

this is my hell.

This is My Hell.

and no lifejacket will ever be able to save me.