I've always been fascinated by this comment in passing, about how Johnny can actually feel the emotions of the wall. It's unsurprising, considering that it's been consuming him through their shared mental connection for months, but I've always wished that we had more insight into his relationship with it, emotionally.
When you really think about it, having to knowingly serve an incomprehensible powerful being residing in your mind is terrifying. Despite his natural detachment to the situation, I'm sure it traumatized Johnny. However, Johnny's also been shown to primarily form emotional attatchment to non-human creatures. That's likely due to his disgust towards humanity, and inability to maintain relationships with others painlessly.
People can abandon you, or challenge your behaviors, but not insects or the voices fabricated inside your own head. I'd like to imagine that after a certain point, Johnny developed a trauma bond with the wall thing. It's consuming his mind, memories, and creativity, but directly because of that it's technically the creature that knows him best. After enough consumption, Johnny no longer remembers anything before it's arrival. So, you can argue by then it knows Johnny, and his history, better than he does. It's this familiarity with Johnny's psyche that allows the wall thing to take advantage of Johnny's insecurities using the Doughboys.
It's able to give him everything he could possibly desire: the invincibility needed to indulge his murderous tendencies, purpose, even companionship. It's the ultimate monkey's paw. Still, given the twisted way Johnny views relationships, he might've found an unaknowledged degree of comfort in their transactional relationship. All that's required of Johnny is that he continues to feed the wall blood. It's a largely unobtrusive task involving murder, something he would've frequently been doing anyways. However, as long as he's compliant, he's guarenteed the wall thing, and the Doughboys will never leave him.
[For a lot of the comic, Johnny's unaware that the wall's responsible for his invincibility, but this headcanon operates under the assumption he puts two-and-two together eventually, and significantly before his suicide. Nailbunny is him, so if he's aware of the Doughboy's true nature, it's possible Johnny did as well and simply repressed it for various reasons...]
Seemingly, the wall creature communicates vaguely through telepathically directed thoughts and emotions. That would naturally put a level of distance between it and Johnny, allowing him to enjoy it's closeness through a perceived veil of safety. Besides, you can argue Johnny and his infestation have something very notable in common. They're both oppurtunistic predators. I'd imagine even in spite of Johnny's growing resentment, that would provide a level of begruding understanding with it. He's no better than the wall, and the wall is certainly no better than him. It's his only true psychological equal, and he can't even be on even ground with it.
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AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille
i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.
that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.
idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?
like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.
i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh
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Loved the new chapter of CS - always a treat to get an update 💛
Recently I’ve been really obsessed with the idea of domestic Hadrian and Tom, later in their lives after all this craziness in their courting years. Could you perhaps share your thoughts or write a snippet of a scene you could imagine? As the creator I feel you’d have the best vision!
Aaaaayyyyyy thank you!! And sure! I need something sweet to combat all the sour that's about to rain down on them 😂
--- -- --- -- ---
Hadrian woke with a soft grunt, burrowing his head into the pillow to escape the sunlight that was doing it's damn best to reach into his skull and burn his brain.
He was foiled when the thick blanket was unceremoniously stolen from him.
"No," he whined, muffled, curling up instinctively. The cold air brushed over the bare skin of his back and made him shiver violently.
"Get up," Riddle demanded.
Hadrian shoved himself up on his elbows grumpily, squinting at the man. His expression went dismayed. "For the love of all things good why are you already dressed?"
"Because unlike you, I have a schedule to keep to." Riddle tossed the blanket onto the foot of the bed, far from Hadrian's reach.
Hadrian eyed it, sluggish mind calculating the distance and speed he would need to move to reclaim it. He collapsed back down when he realised it would be too much.
"I resent the implication that I don't do anything important enough to have a schedule," he muttered, rubbing roughly at his face. Now that Riddle was here, it would take death for him to get another five minutes of sleep.
Five minutes, because that was all Riddle would allow him before dragging his soul back into his husk of a body kicking and screaming.
Because he was a cruel, evil man and Hadrian hated him.
He told him as much. Riddle gave him the most unimpressed look Hadrian had ever received - which was admirable given Hadrian had lived with Lily Potter for most of his life. He didn't say that though, because Riddle always got defensive when the topic of either of their mothers came up.
"Gods, we have so many issues," Hadrian whispered, sliding from the bed finally. Riddle raised an eyebrow but graciously let Hadrian keep the comment to himself.
"We have a brunch to get to," Riddle said instead, shooing Hadrian towards the bathroom as he split off to go to the wardrobe.
"Oh, heavens forbid we're late to brunch," Hadrian gasped, stepping through the door and beelining for the shower. "The sky would surely fall if we upended your precious daily organisation."
"You think you're funny, but you're showing your age with remarks like that," Riddle called.
Hadrian, stripped fully and under the flow of hot water, stared balefully at the beautiful tiled pattern because his partner was unfortunately out of sight. "Good!" he shouted back. "It'll remind everyone that your fucking someone young enough to be your grandson!"
Riddle appeared in the doorway, his face flatter and less expressive than a corpse's. Hadrian smiled guilelessly and tipped his head back to wet his hair.
All told, it wasn't the worst start to a day that they've had.
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