#and dammit i'm not even mad

[musicprincess1990]

Goddammit... I didn't need another obsession...

[goldicthehedgefox]

what i don't get is how Shin got defused but Goku and Vegeta didn't get their tails back

especially Vegeta. that mf didn't lose his tail until way after adulthood, he has no excuse to not have it when reverted to Child

[immortal-ichor]

º ✧ 。headcanons for PETRA RAL !!!

º ✧ 。when levi needed a member of his squad to pass on the important message about the right wing spotters being wiped out during the expedition, he chose petra. that’s because, thanks to her natural ability on horseback and small size, she’s the FASTEST rider of the special operations squad. if anyone was going to get to the others and back before they hit the tree line, it would be HER.

º ✧ 。despite the others not knowing about petra and levi’s relationship, they DO know that she’s the only one amongst them who stands a chance of calming the captain down when he’s pissed off. they don’t even bat an eyelash when she follows him anymore, since its to all of their benefits if she can quell the murderous rage, which provides LOTS of cover for the lovers to sneak off together if they want.

º ✧ 。petra has younger BROTHERS at home, which is how she’s so comfortable hanging around with gunther, eld, and oluo. their banter and cheap shots are nothing new to her, and she considers it a sign of respect that they harass her just as much as they do each other. and not that she’d ever admit it ... but her favorite (after levi) is ELD. he strikes a much better balance, in her opinion, between seriousness and fun than the other two members of the squad. 

it’s a big part of why she’s so visibly shaken and unfocused after he’s killed in front of her.

º ✧ 。petra KNOWS about oluo’s crush on her - hell, even the brand spanking new cadets can see it. but she values their close friendship and teamwork far too much to ever break his heart or officially turn him down. so she just allows it to exist, not ENCOURAGING it but not outright denying him either, and hopes he never notices just how long her gaze lingers on the captain ...

[mayuzumiiis]

As someone who writes more than I draw, I find myself getting frustrated at the lack of attention people give the written aspect of fandom. I will never ever fault artists for it, because they deserve recognition and love too. I know it takes longer to read an entire fanfiction than it does to look at someone's art, but still. Maybe I'm just sensitive? I dunno. I dunno! This is just something I think about a lot

[gigglebug]

.

[thenerdcommander]

Bethesda got me so mad Hancock should NOT be so FINE

[crockersbian]

NOT all headcanons are valid some actually kinda just suck

like not even in an offensiveness sense, its that there IS a quantifiable difference between “headcanon that’s actually nicely thetical to the text. this makes this better and people will probably try to claim its ‘coding’ even though it fucking isn’t that wasn’t on purpose you dolts”, “not really even that big a change. doesn’t alter much of the character like at all. not WRONG just. there.”, and “that’s literally not what was going on with that guy at all” any fucking ambient transmisogyny or whatever going into it is just a bonus

adding this thing in even after all them tags but like. i bring up “ambient (translation: unintentional or accidentally on the part of the person most immediately headcanoning it, carried over from broader cultural atmospheres or character precedence) transmisogyny” not to say that this is still a “its evil to think she isn’t a trans woman >:(” thing but rather that its NOT that really for 90% of remaining apologists and instead i just fucking think your headcanon so sucks because its out-of-character and just kinda cheapens their whole “canon” thing without creating an improved alternative. its roots as what probably WASN’T intended as an outright attack on transfems like some insisted  but WAS still just a colossal bungling that on top of removing the possibility of a characters transfemininity (while giving 2 or 3 others of the ‘main’ options Officialization and pseudocanonicity. like you can get detrans TME roxy but the actually textually plausible trans woman? wha?) in either an act of astonishing ignorance or an attempt to be clever ALSO served to villify and CISMOGRIPHY the only canonically gay man in the whole fucking comic by framing him as transphobic also good god the homophobia shit just. theres so much more to it than just making the gay guy incredulous at the existence of transmasculine nonbinary people i stg even homestuck itself was on this reverse greek shit when it came to men feeling affection towards other men. Oops! That Got Away From Me!

[aberooski]

The fact that I'm basically the only one in my family that legitimately is excited for and wants to see the Mario movie really badly but can't drive and has no money means that I probably won't get to see it for a while unless I like force and beg someone to take me like I had to do when DSOD came out which I felt bad about and don't particularly want to do again. It's really frustrating because if it was anybody else in my family they would get to go or maybe we'd just all go y'know? And I don't particularly want to go by myself I get very uncomfortable in public by myself also I just think it would be more fun to experience with a friend or something. Ugh I'm just frustrated and it's a stupid thing to be mad about I know but it's my stupid thing to be mad and upset about okay?

Also I stg I'm gonna fucking uninstall tiktok I'm so sick of almost getting spoiled every 3 seconds. I'm just thankful that anything I have accidentally seen I already knew about 🙄

[goldsbitch]

You texted...

Y/N and Lando are going through a rough patch in their relationship. Not really on speaking terms. This bad streak ends when there is a massive spider in her bathroom.

angst, one shot

The moment she spotted that creature sent from hell, everything else went out of the window. The dinner in the oven, the fact she was planning on doing a late night session in the gym, the fact her hair was still wet from the shower. The fact she and her boyfriend Lando were on "not speaking" terms.

Y/N was absolutely terrified of spiders her whole life and was never able to over come the fear by getting rid of them on her own. Lando was the one who always ever so kindly rescued her, he overtook this role her neighbor, who overtook it from her mom, who Y/N had trained to react immediately when she heard a very specific scream.

Now she was standing in her apartment, alone with nowhere to go, since her job was to stay frozen at one spot and stare at the creature, in case it moved, and not really sure who to call for help. Her best friend was the first option. Normally, it would have been her boyfriend, but something was stopping her from doing that.

"Come on, come on, come on," she whispered as she dialed her best friend living close by. "Pick up, dammit."

Finally, the tone she was praying for. "Hey, girl, what's up?"

No time for chit chat. "You have to come over now, immediately."

Her friend noticed the immediate distress and tuned herself in. "What's wrong?" she replied, sounding as she was ready to dial the police.

"There's a spider situation going on in my apartment."

"Uhm, I see," she said, more relaxed now, but still taking it seriously.

"It's huge, with like hairy legs and shit. You have to come over, now. We have a deal, remember?"

Her friend was equally terrified of mosquitoes, so they agreed that Y/N would deal with those while spider duty fell on the other lady. This has happened many many times before. Usually ended up with a nice girls evening. Ever since Lando appeared in Y/N life however, the emergency calls stopped.

"I thought Lando was around this week?" her friend asked curiously. "Not that I'm trying to get out of this, but I'm sort of like an hour away from you, so..."

Y/N let out a frustrated sigh. "Fucking hell...Yeah, we're not exactly speaking at the moment," she admitted.

"Wow, that's a first!?" her friend said, clearly surprised. "Why?"

"Look, I'd love to chat, but are you coming or not? There's no one else and I'm not calling Lando!"

"Yes, yes, I'm getting in the car, just let me say good bye to my friends here, we're having a picnic," she replied and muted voices of disapproval came from the background.

Y/N felt guilty about doing this, but she'd dropped everything she was oing for her friend many times, answered phone calls in the middle of the night even though she was an early bird. They just had this kind of friendship.

"Drive fast, please," she said, still stubborn and not about to call Lando.

//

Y/N sat there staring at the spider for good ten minuted before her friend called again.

"Ok, I'm in the car, you can talk about Lando now, keep me busy. I'm going to pass over the fact you and your boyfriend are fighting and I have no idea," she said unapologetically.

"Figured you'd be mad about that. Yeah, he's been acting like a bit of a dick..."

"But you're not broken up, right?" her friend asked, slightly worried about her favorite couple.

"No, I don't think so. I hope so," she realized, the spider in the corner becoming lesser of her problems.

"And what seems to be the problem? Did he cheat?"

"No, not that I'm aware," she replied without thinking.

"Did you cheat?" her friend asked, ready to support her in anything.

"Jesus, no. It's um...I dunno, we've just grown a bit distant. Lately it feels like I'm like at number 50 of his priorities list. It's always only racing, Quadrant, promo event this and that."

"That's shitty, yeah. Would you like to be included? I know you hate things like promo events and such."

"I do! But honestly, I miss him so much and frankly I'd like to be more included in his life somehow. Especially now that I have more time in my life."

"Does he know that?"

"No?"

Her friend let out a deep sigh. "Hm. You have to untangle that. It would be stupid to break up over that."

"Yeah, I'd hate that," she said, panic setting in.

"Text him to come. To save you from the spider. It's a nice excuse and good test. To see if he cares."

"I'm scared. What if he does not respond?"

Few moments of dramatic silence. "Well, at least you'd know."

"Yeah. Ok. Sending it." Y/N quickly typed something up, trying not to overthink it.

"What did you text?"

"Can you come over asap? I need help with a spider. It's urgent."

"Nice. Now you'll see what he does."

They stayed on the phone together for good half an hour. Catching up and distracting Y/N from the fact there was no text from Lando coming her way.

//

A doorbell rang.

"You're here already?" Y/N asked her friend, surprised by her ability to drive this fast.

"Nope, still very much far away. Did I hear a bell? Do you think it's him?"

"I dunno. I'll mute you and if it's him I'll hang up, ok?"

"Gotcha."

She opened the door with a heavy heart. What if it was not him?

But it was. Flustered Lando stood there without saying hello. The two shared a pain-filled look, neither of them enjoying this no contact streak they had.

"You came..." she said finally, ending the phone call.

"You texted..." he said dryly and in full macho mode entered her apartment without being let it. "Can you point me where?"

"That corner," she simply pointed, flushed with emotions. Happy that he came to rescue her, sad about his loveless tone and scared of what was to come after. She watched him from afar, as he skillfully took the spider and threw it out of the balcony.

"Don't say anything about him knowing his way back, please," he said, hinting on the countless debates they'd had before about Lando not wanting to kill every spider they'd encounter.

The air suddenly went very heavy. Lando casually headed to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water while trying so hard to make eye contact with her. The last time they spoke was few days prior - and it was not a nice conversation. Lots of built up emotions got out, frustrated speeches made and confusing sentences jumping one after another. Ending with Lando slamming the door on his way out.

She had no clue where to start. "So, how have you been?" she asked, not sure she was ready for his answer. He finally looked at her, and then with an annoyed eye-roll went back into staring out of the window.

Y/N threw her hands up in the air as the familiar feeling from few days ago kicked back in. "Ok fine, sorry I asked. Thank you so much for your help, truly appreciated, but if you hate being around me, just say so that we can-"

"We can what?" he cut her off, not having any of that.

"I don't know, you tell me!...I'm getting lost at trying to read you," she admitted, not even trying to hide anything from him at this point.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "I don't think I listened to you," he sighed before continuing, "Or more like did not hear what you were saying."

The validation felt rewarding. But she feared what would come next.

"What I heard at that moment was you not respecting my lack of time and the fact that things I'm involved in are important to me."

She took a breath and planned on interrupting him, which he noticed and tried to stop.

"Let me finish, please. But thinking about it, I figured that's not the case, and you were simply pointing out that I've been putting off spending time with you. Which you're absolutely correct. I figured since we've been going to strong lately, this would be fine. But truth is I hate this distance it created. I feel lost, uneasy and unable to focus," he blabbered something, which felt like he might have even rehearsed on the way to her. "What I'm trying to say is - do you still care enough for us to fix it?"

It felt vulnerable, raw and maybe even uncomfortable to have these kinds of talks. But this is ultimately what cements a relationship.

Feeling like he managed to destroy some of the wall they'd put up, she took few steps towards him.

"Lando, of course I do. It's not a rare event that I imagine our future life together, as a couple and one day potentially as a family. Never had this feeling before in my life. Please, let's figure out a way how to prevent the distance from happening. Things have changed now, the relationship has too. We've been together for almost two years. And my love for you has only grown."

He finally smiled, relieved that they seemed to be on the same page.

"I came right from the tennis court, left everyone behind. Would you like to go there with me? Hang out with the Quadrant squad for a bit and then have a nice dinner somewhere? I just want to spend this evening with you."

"And the night hopefully," she teased, trying to ease the mood.

"Always the night, it was absolutely horrible, knowing you're so close to me, yet having to sleep without you."

She closed the distance between them, embracing him into a hug. They bodies were more than familiar with each and it felt right to be that close. Definitely better than each of them standing in a different corner of the room.

"We still have to talk about this. I don't want our love to slip through by our fingers," she said, letting her anxiety out.

"We will. Tonight, we'll come up with a plan. Can you join me on few races later this month?" he asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"Of course, my love. I have to buy new clothes though, the cameras are savage."

He chuckled, relaxed now that he did not have to worry about having lost her. "Yes, they are."

She later call her friend to thank her for dropping everything and driving to save her, even though it was not needed in the end. Her friend was more than happy that she and Lando seemingly found the way back to each other.

She also admitted that she turned back the moment Y/N sent her text to Lando, knowing that this guy would come running anytime his girlfriend asked for help.

[tgcg]

the master baiter

TG: dont be mad

TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but

CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.

TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me

TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now

======

CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.

TG: heheheh

======

CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.

TG: oh shit here we go

CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.

======

CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!

CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.

CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.

TG: damn

======

CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.

TG: hahaha

CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.

======

CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM

CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?

======

TG: yep there he is thats him offincer

TG: the man after my own heart

TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology

TG: i got my degree in this shit

TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees

TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes

TG: im rocking my intelligence right now

TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet

CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN

TG: yeah you are

CG: FUCK. I AM.

======

CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--

TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening

CG: NO

TG: and brother it is THE wet

TG: like following your conditional argument

TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point

TG: great philosophical debate

TG: which came first the water or the wet?

CG: DAVE

TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit

TG: its a fucked up display

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

======

TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements

CG: DUDE.

TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means

TG: h2orgy

CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--

TG: tell me im wrong dude

CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.

TG: thats so beautiful to me

TG: i could cry

[elenscaie]

Not even finished with my trial week with contacts, and one of them has already nearly torn itself in like ten damn minutes. Goddammit. What the hell am I doing wrong, because lo and behold, it's me, so there's always something wrong.

[barblaz-arts]

Fellow Chaggie shipper, here and I wanted to ask you a question. Could you please do an analysis post on the Chaggie argument from Hello Rosie. I know this will sound weird but I can't get over the level of icy anger Charlie had towards Vaggie or how despite everything going on, Charlie is more hurt from Vaggie not being honest with her. Just angst all around.

Oh yeah sure I'd love to!

I'm not sure there's a lot I can say about that argument that isn't already super obvious, so I wanna talk about Charlie's anger because of something my brother said as we watched episode 7. He loved that episode apparently because "When they're separated, it's even more obvious that Charlie is the one who's more quick to lose her cool." Which, looking back, is actually true!(To an extent)

Vaggie and Charlie are both quite quick to anger. Charlie is just better at hiding it because she's a chronic people pleaser. Although Charlie wouldn't immediately show her anger at a person being a jerk to her specifically, she's immediately summoning fire and brimstone over anyone who hurts/insults her friends or the cause she's fighting for.

Love this lil bit in "You Didn't Know". How Vaggie is the one telling Charlie to calm down, as if she knows what's about to happen. She knows that if she doesn't at least try to reel in her girl Charlie would be spitting literal fire at a goddamn seraphim.

It would seem like such a surprising role reversal, but if you look at all the times Charlie would lose it whenever Vaggie's not there to tell her "babe, chill", then it makes sense.

But then when their fallout happens, Charlie's short temper is even more apparent. She calls Alastor an asshole to his face even though she considered choosing his support over her father's. She openly glares and rolls her eyes at Rosie when she jokes that her and Alastor look like an item even though she still kept things cordial with Valentino after he licked her arm. She flips the bird at some old lady even though she didn't take visible offense at all the demons that inserted their crude and rude selves in "Happy Day in Hell." While she was cold and subdued even when upset with Vaggie, she was explosive and in ur face when she was pissed at everyone else.

Vaggie reigned in both the girl in Charlie who dreams a little too big and the demon who's waiting to lash out in flames. It really makes me wonder if there's a difference in the kind of person Charlie used to be before Vaggie. Before she had friends to be angry on behalf of and a person to calm her down. And then, in the wake of their argument, Charlie is left with a lot of anger that is easy to ignite.

But I love love love that despite all that anger, Charlie can't bring herself to deny that she loves Vaggie with all of her hurt heart.

This little moment is one of my favorite parts in the series. My brother mentioned that this episode and episode three were his favorites because he liked the beats the dialogues followed. So he looked back--

(the man literally paused the episode to check the opening credits of ep 7 and 3. I was a little annoyed because I just wanted my Chaggie dammit! We'd make terrible youtube reactors with all the pausing and discussing mid-episode that we do...)

--and was satisfied to see that it was written by the same person, Ariel Ladensohn. Apparently she's in a sapphic relationship too and projected her own experiences whenever she wrote Vaggie and Charlie, and it must have paid off because the moments she wrote with them felt so real.

Charlie expressing her fear that even Vaggie's support and love could also be part of the lies she told was understandable considering the betrayal she felt. But immediately following that she goes "Oh that's a horrible to thing to think!" which I love even more. Even when she's understandably mad she thinks about how Vaggie would feel over Charlie thinking that of her. Because although Vaggie lied about who she is, Vaggie was always sincere about how she felt for Charlie. Vaggie's past may have been a lie, but the things she did for, to, and on behalf of Charlie were very real and held dear in Charlie's heart.

I dont have anything smart to say to conclude this. Sorry, I'm not even sure where I went here. Let's all just appreciate the smile Charlie has on her face when she thinks about Vaggie even when she's under a lot of stress I guess.

[ghouljams]

dear ghoul a very good evening, may i humbly request for some more ghost!ghost? it's just too adorable man you got the works

The worst part about having a ghost for a roommate is it makes having people over a little tricky.

Your friend comes scrambling out of the bathroom with a wild look in his eye, and plasters himself against the wall, nearly knocking one of your pictures off the wall. You turn around on the couch to make sure he's alright. He looks like he's seen a ghost. Dammit. You try not to look too suspicious when you ask,

"What's wrong?"

"I- there was- in the mirror-" your friend stutters, trying to make sense of... Well you assume trying to make sense of seeing a flash of your ghastly roommate in the bathroom mirror. He tends to hover behind the door when you have friends over, waiting for someone to close it and catch a glimpse of him. You have to hand it to him, Ghost is fairly talented at being a ghost.

You pop a few kernels of popcorn in your mouth. Unbothered. "Yeah the place is low-key haunted."

"Low key?" You friend balks, "Some bloke with a slit throat jumping out of mirrors is what you call low key?"

"What?" He's never done that before. Usually when you've got someone over he sticks to the classics: opening and closing doors, footsteps, cold rooms, glimpses of him in the shadows.

"I'm out of here," your friend grabs his coat off the hook and stalks towards the door, you jump off the couch and are unceremoniously pushed back down onto it by an unseen force. It feels like a weight settling over your chest, forcing you to lay back.

"Wh-" you try to breathe around the pressure and your friend tugs the door open, "Wait!" You manage just as your friend is pushed out, the door slammed behind them and all the locks clicked into place. You push at the air on top of you, as if your fingers might grasp living flesh instead of empty space. You hear the mug on your ghost's alter bubble ominously before your wrist is pinned over your head against the couch.

The temperature in the room plumits, you tense to keep from shivering, grit your teeth to keep them from chattering. The phantom hands holding you down ruck up under your shirt and the dam breaks. Shivers wrack your body, not from fear, but from the chill and you try again to push at the invisible force holding you down.

"Ghost wha-" your breath catches in your throat, you're eyes fix on the black expanse of the TV screen. You can see the shadow of him crouched over you, holding you down. You didn't know he was so big, he hulks over your frame, takes over the couch without trying. He straddles your hips, one hand pressing against your stomach while the other pins your wrist.

"No..." His voice is raspy, guttural and rough, his breath shakes and wheezes, "boyfriends."

You can't look away from the TV screen, too worried if you do you'll never see your ghost again. You don't fight against his hold, your body rigid, breath held. He doesn't touch you, not like this. Despite the chill its gentle, forceful but gentle, and a shive vreaks down your spine that isn't from the cold. The hand on your stomach strokes your skin, almost appreciative. You wonder when the last time he felt living flesh was, if he misses it, if he'll keep touching you.

Then his words hit you, and you have to stop from jerking your head to look at him. You know you won't see him, but that doesn't stop the temptation. "He's just a friend," you press, is that why he's upset? You can't imagine why else he'd be mad, this never happened when you had girls over. "Wha-" you smile a little, "Are you jealous?"

The hands leave you, the specter in the TV reflection disappearing like whispers of smoke. You turn to look at the empty air above you and pout.what the hell are you supposed to do now? Your friend bailed, your ghost bailed, you're all riled up with nowhere to go. You grab the remote and pout a little more forcefully at Ghost's alter as you turn the TV on.

"Possessive bastard," you grumble, watching the mug bubble once for yes.

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

When the 141 + König try to get your attention.

They'll have extra bandaids, hair scrunchies, socks, and ammo for your favorite guns. Anything you could possibly need as an emergency that you might not get easily. They carry around hygiene products for you too if you need. "Dammit I need." Bam immediately in your hand. "Oh I should have taken extra." Don't worry about it they gave enough for a month. Have an illness or need medication they have the supplies you need on hand always. You're tired and can't sleep because you have watch? Oops your shift has been covered, go get some rest.

Ghost:

You've noticed it eventually. He's always got whatever you need and soon it becomes so regular that you're just subconsciously turning to him when you need something. He's always got it too. Without fail. It's not till Price, smug as fly shit, tells you Ghost is covering your night shift that you make the decision to confront him. In the military a man doing you favors could mean anything positive or negative but it could definitely be used against you. You find him and sidled up next to his side. "What are you doing?" You ask eventually. He grunts, pretending to be confused. "You're always doing me favors on the field and now you're taking my watch. What do you want?" He looks down at you. "Don't want anything." His sentence feels incomplete and you just glare up at him. A sigh and then, "Alright I do want something." Ice crawls through your stomach. You had hoped it was just him trying to make you feel comfortable in the group but no, there was a string. You look out to the range and track in your base. "Name it." You bite the words, trying to shove as much terror as you can in to your sentence. "Go to dinner with me." A beat, you inhale, another beat and you decide whether or not this counts as harassment. "You've been doing this to...get me to go on a date?" Trying to make the situation clear from your perspective. "Can't really flirt to save your life, the only way I knew what to do. I'll still do it. I just want you. You're a damn good soldier and an asset to the team. And you leave your work out of the base. The team likes you." He tilts your head back to him, as gently as anything. "I like you."

You loved your dinner and plan more date nights.

Soap

With Johnny it was harder to figure out if something was going on. He was always carrying extra things for the team. Ammo, meds, clothes, whatever. It's not until you get a smoke grenade to the face and you have to rip your contacts out to flush your face properly that you don't have extra, and your goggles that have your prescription is in your room. Keeping the pillows company. "Fuck all this." You're basically blind without them and there's no way you can fake it till you're back to base. It was stupid and careless. Price was going to have a field day with this after he reams you for an hour at least. "You alright?" Soap slumped down next to your still prone body. "No it's dumb I left my glasses and contacts. I'm going to have to evac. Or just wait." Soap laughs and you're about to get mad before he pulls out goggles for you. It's your old script but it's not too bad. You make it back to base with nothing more than a headache from your aching eyes. There's no reason he should have your old glasses. In fact, it's made you start to question how he always knows where you leave your things. He's genuinely nice and not in a bad way, even Ghost is gentle around him. Still, you need to talk, cause that's weird. Looking around you find him and you ask him to follow you in to the conference room. He does, glancing at you in confusion. You keep your face neutral and when the two of you sit down he's relaxed but nervous. "Everything alright?" "No not really, why do you have my old glasses? Pretty sure I threw those out, plus it's weird that you always know where I lose things." You lay out your concerns and his shoulders drop. "One, yes I notice where you lose things but you're always losing things and it makes you frustrated. So I've just been making sure to pay attention when you put something down or when you drop something. Two, you did throw them out but I had an extra from when your glasses once on a mission. So I've always kept one just in case. I'm sorry I made you unsettled. I really meant no harm. Plus I, wait no, sorry not the time." He waves his hand. "No no go on it's ok." You feel comfortable again and willing to go back to how it was before and hopefully set boundaries better for yourself. He leans forward. "I like you. I've been trying to get you to look at me, actually look at me." You feel your face go hot. "Dinner, maybe? Or something?" He continues, trying not to laugh at your agape expression.

You have dinner and a movie and happily wonder what your next date will be

Gaz

You were so focused on getting your exercise this morning done before it got too busy that you missed the breakfast call. 'Dammit!' There was no way it wasn't packed with people now. All the good food would be taken and you are not going to touch those breakfast bars, more crumb than food honestly. You make your way to your room, hoping that you would have something in your stash of snacks. As you comb through your drawers you find a single bag of popcorn. You had been meaning to go up to the shops and restock but you've been so busy or do tired lately. And now your stomach was growling. Great. You finished your popcorn on the way to the mess hall. The line was long but you slide in and wait. "Hey morning." Gaz bumps your shoulder friendly. "Hey!" You smile, he was always nice to you, and welcomed you to the group easily. "Got your favorites already don't worry about the line." He points over where the 141 was sat and a plate in front of an empty chair. You frown, "Yeah those are my favorites? How did you?" Gaz scoffs. "You eat like the same 6 things it's not hard to remember." Actually now that you think about it, he always makes sure you had your favorite food. Even if he for sure had to go out of his way. He looks over to your concerned face. "Hey you ok?" "No that's really weird. But thank you I think." You pick up your plate and go back to your room. It's too loud and the sound of other people chewing makes you want to scream today. Gaz followed you. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." You sigh and stop. "I'm good at what I do except this. Let me start over. You, me, dinner?" He asks and you look over to him. Before you can stop it a smile creeps over your face. "You were flirting?" He laughs, sheepish. "Badly, obviously." You shake your head, still smiling. "Ok you know what? Dinner sounds nice."

You both enjoy dinner so much that you end up taking all your meals alone together. It becomes so commonplace that Price sends those fold away tables to your rooms.

Price

You were new and the transition from your old squad to the 141 was strange. The base was private, secluded and unfortunately for you the nearest stores were about 15 miles away. It made shopping for hygiene products so annoying so you had to stock up. Until you had been gone for two months on a mission and you came back smelling awful and you had been run ragged and all you wanted was a shower and maybe a two week nap. You walked up to the base and Price walked out. "Good to see you, welcome back." "Good to be back Sir. I'll feel better after I get settled." He laughed and walked you in. "We had a bit of a move around. Your room was moved." Nervous now you followed him. "Something happen?" Shaking his head, Price lead you to a new door. "I should have had this done before but it turns out there's no real way to get plumbing to where your room was so we moved you here." You walked in and your things had been carefully moved. Wait. "Plumbing?" "Built you your own bathroom. Little bit of your own space." "I don't understand. I was fine with the one we already had." You looked under the sink and there was one more box of pads and tampons you absolutely were sure you didn't buy. That was creepy. "Let me know when you need new ones by the way I'll put in the order." Your head was screaming danger. No man in his position of power would just do that for no reason. Danger. No one would build a bathroom for one person and get the exact private things you would usually get. Danger. Slowly you stood up. Option One, get a hold of someone above Price and get out of here quickly and quietly Option Two be nice and grateful, (which you are Ghost and Soap are big fans of bathroom sex and any chance to not see that again was fantastic), but see if you can get out of this room without him noticing you freaking out. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing your tension. Fuck, option one then. "It's kind of weird you know my order and the things I get. You also built me this. Captain, you have to know how this looks." You turn and face him. He looks at you and the gears start to turn. "Oh shit. No it's not like that I completely understand. I'm just trying to make you feel at ease. Give you your own space. Also your products are coming out of the squad budget so it's not any string I had to pull. I only noticed what they were when it was being packed away." You really think about it. Mull it over and over and slowly nod. "Then.. thank you Captain. I do appreciate it. It's so nice." Your own bathroom. You would have killed for this in your old squad. "Just want to take off my favorite girl." There he goes again. The easy banter. "I thought it was no big deal." You tease. "If I wasn't your favorite girl then you wouldn't do this?" He chuckles. "No I would. I wouldn't have any ideas about what goes on in this shower but I would still make it happen." "What kind of ideas?" You lean on the doorframe and he takes a few steps to you. "Let me show you."

You must have been in there a while because when you both make your way to the kitchen Ghost and Johnny are sitting around looking vaguely impatient. "Thank fuck." Ghost sighs and Johnny laughs. "Finally done? Thought you'd never finish."

König

You and König are good friends coming in at the same time, the two of you bond over trying to figure out your place in the squad. He's got your back and you've got his. When you get stuck in rain or fall in to water puddles too deep and they seep through your boots, he always has an extra pair of socks with him. Or a shirt when you need to rip one for an impromptu bandage. But it's especially odd when he happens to have a belt that is your size that you use to hold up a gun you swipped off an enemy body. "We're gonna talk about this when we get back." You tell him, matter of factly. And you do. You come up to his room and he let's you in. His body language is tense and he's actively making himself look as small and non-threatening as is physically impossible. "You always have spare clothes for me. You always have a hair tie or like today with a belt that I checked and is my size. It certainly isn't yours. So what's going on?" He slumps, and admits that he just wants to take care of you. "I'm not sure why I picked that but. For me it's strange I have to order my clothes or make them so I always like to make sure that you have clothes? I think. I'm not sure what I mean." He stands up and your eyes follow his. "I'm sorry my dear for upsetting you." You scoff and wave him off. "It's not weird you didn't upset me. Besides I think it's kind of cute that's how you show you care." König runs his hand over yours. "I do care. A lot. So much it drives me mad sometimes." He leans down, your head straining back, baring your neck to him. "Show me." You plead. "Not yet. I'm told I need to wine and dine before indulging, no?" You can see his eyes crinkle in mirth and damn if that isn't cute and hot at the same time.

"Ok I'm dined, I'm wined. Can we indulge now?" His laugh, deep and warm, is a balm and a flame at the same time.

Can you tell König is my favorite? None of this is healthy btw. I'm walking through the factory where they make the red flags and I'm asking for the gift shop and menu anyway. I need an exorcism.

Edit: can't believe I forgot Kyle. Ugh. Sorry for the late addition folx

[erwinsmithsmissingleftarm]

How long aot men last during the No Nut November

Including: Levi, Erwin, Jean, Eren, Armin & Reiner

Cw: Adult content , mention of dub-con for Levi's part

Levi:

Doesn't give a fuck about the challenge, it's not true that he will restrict himself from fucking his girlfriend. At the second you ask him about the No Nut November challenge, he will grab you and bend you over the table.

"I don't give a damn fuck about this challenge! I was virgin for years so it's not true that I will do that again."

He will make you fail with him, fucking you like a wild beast at the very first day of the challenge. I mean... did you really expected Levi to get into such a useless and stupid challenge? Levi isn't ashamed to say that he didn't even try to last a single day. He even finds it funny seeing his friends struggling to keep going. And to be even more stubborn, he will do the exact opposite of the challenge by trying to fuck you every day for a whole month. Hope you have the stamina darling!

Erwin:

Will probably be able to last all month (which is obviously longer than you). The only thing that can make him fail is actually... you. You just have to beg him to fuck you and man, he will lose it. He could have keep going without sex for longer but he can't see his little girl all needy for him.

"Are you sure? I thought you wanted to accomplish the challenge. Well, I give up if you give up."

Will proceed to grab you and throw you into the bed before crawling between your legs and undressing you both. Strong arms spreading your legs as you let out a moan when your two bodies connect together. So many days without this feeling of pleasure... you deserve it.

Jean:

Even with his big ass ego, he can just last for one week. Jean was sure that he could win the challenge without any efforts but... he learned at this moment that you were too much tempting. Always wearing those little skirts or shorts that let him see everything every time you bend to grab something or the too revealing neckline that showed a little piece of the fabric of your bra.

"Fuck, how can I accomplish the challenge if you don't stop teasing me?"

Will be a bit self-ashamed when he will wake up one morning naked in the bed beside you. Dammit, he had a good start but you managed to win against him. Jean will be a bit disappointed at the beginning but finally he will tell himself that the challenge is stupid anyway and that fucking you is way better.

Eren:

Four to five days is the longer Eren can last. It started well but quickly became difficult for him. This man is love-sick with you and you guys got habits that are difficult to destroy. That's why on the 4th day the sexual frustration started to be feel by both of you.

"God damn, why can't I stop fantazing about you?"

You both say that at the same time before starting to laugh. There is no embarrassment between you two since a long time so you just both gave up at the same time before having an intense seance on the kitchen table. What's better than having sex with your lover? That feeling of ectasy can't be replaced by anything else in the world.

Armin:

Armin is such a sweet boy that he didn't even know what's the No Nut November challenge. Once explained to him, he turned red and quietly nodded, telling you that he will accomplish it. But about 3 weeks after, you caught him right during his jerking off seance. Oh god, poor boy was so embarrassed and ashamed of himself.

"I-I'm sorry! I just had a... thought and it just... kinda happened."

Please, reassure him and tell him that it is okay or he will feel bad forever. Armin was truly sure that you will be mad at him but call him a good boy and praise him. Let me remind you that this baby is into mommy kink and praise kink so he will 100% melt and forget about it.

Reiner:

Pretty much like Erwin, he is able to last all month but he won't even lose against you. No matter how much you beg him to fuck you, he will remind you about the challenge and it's supposely "benefic"effect. Unfortunately for you, Reiner has a lower sex drive than you so he doesn't get sexually frustrated after the 3 first weeks.

"You can do what you want, honey, but I will try to win the challenge."

Finally, it's the first of December, and you can finally do the deed. You two officially managed to get through November succesfully (even if you almost gave up once). Even Reiner found it more difficult than what he originally thought but you can reward yourselves by having intense love-making seance of many rounds to get all this frustration out of you.

[themissinghand]

Omniscient Reader Viewpoint Have You Seen My Werepuppy?

Summary: In which our lovely regressor turned into a werewolf and craves your attention. (Or Kim Dokja wants some love too)

Pairing: Yoo Joonghyuk x GN! Reader x Kim Dokja 

Note: Love these two idiots to death. So here is a fluffy short.

Warning: None.

★・・・・・・★

[New Scenario available]

[Only available to incarnation "Yoo Joongyhyuk"]

[Accept?]

[Yes/No]

[The Constellation ‘Constellation Who Likes to Change Genders’ urges incarnation "Yoo Joonghyuk" to accept the scenario]

"What is the reward?" Yoo Joonghyuk says, suspicious of his intentions. 

[10,000 coins]

"What do I have to do?" 

[The Constellation ‘Constellation Who Likes to Change Genders’ tells incarnation "Yoo Joonghyuk" to make a choice quickly before he offers it to other incarnations] 

Yoo Joonghyuk twitched his eyebrow before he glared at the floating blue screen. 

"Don't you dare." Han Sooyoung (who believed she was at the wrong place and wrong time), warned him. 

"If it's something dangerous, I'm not going to take responsibility for your sorry ass." 

"Shut up."

Without another moment of thought, Yoo Joonghyuk accepted the scenario. 

"You idiot-"

A bright light and Yoo Joonghyuk prepared himself for a fight. 

But once the bright light faded away, there was nothing but a blue screen in front of him. 

He heard a dramatic gasp beside him, but his focus was on the blue screen. His eyes widened before he dropped to the ground on one knee and he felt his body change.

He can hear Loki, that bastard, and Han Sooyoung just laughing at him.

“For a scary bastard like you, you have a fluffy ass tail!”

Kim Dokja wasn't sure what he was witnessing. 

Everyone was panicking, to say the least, and you weren’t there. 

Perfect. 

A growling Yoo Joonghyuk in werewolf form. His sword was gripped tightly in his hand, and no matter what others were yelling, he wouldn't budge. It was as if he was protecting his territory, and Kim Dokja assumed it was because of his new transformation. 

Kim Dokja curses at whichever constellation that did this.

Kim Dokja felt a chill down his spine when the protagonist met his eyes. It was glaring at him like a mad dog, while grinding his teeth and brandishing his sword.

What did he do now? He didn't even do anything!

What could he even do? When that sunfish is swinging swords at whoever comes close? When that bastard is so angry that he is emitting such a murderous aura? 

Damn you protagonist! 

"What's going on?" Kim Dokja let out a sign of relief when you walked to his side.

You who had just come back from your training with Jung Heewon, and were very much tired to deal with this, but came anyway. 

After all, it is the sunfish bastard that you and Kim Dokja know very well.

As a fellow reader who committed to finishing the longest web novel in history, you bet that you would be here (with Kim Dokja) to make sure the protagonist survives. 

That is what you two swore upon after the world turned upside down. Just an oath between readers, as friends, to survive.

"That idiot turned into a werewolf!"

Thanks Han Sooyoung. 

"Is it Loki again?" You responded immediately and Kim Dokja returned a nod and a sigh.

“God Dammit. Alright, so Dokja, any plans or…” 

Dokja put a hand on your shoulder, “Nope, I got none-”

Holy shit, did Yoo Joonghyuk just growl at him? 

Kim Dokja heard a sigh beside him and something about more work before his best friend walked ahead. 

"(Y/N)! Don't get too close!" 

"That ahjussi went crazy!"

"Stay back! You're not a match for Master!"

The kids yelled and even Kim Dokja wanted to stop you, but after he saw how calm and collected you were, Kim Dokja held back. 

As always, you were confident and quick to adapt in any situation. Perhaps you noticed something about the werewolf state.

Until Kim Dokja saw you unbuttoning the top button and exposing your neck-

"(Y/N)! What are you doing?" Kim Dokja flushes. He would have rushed to your side if Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't ready to pounce on him.

"What a big angry pup." Kim Dokja hopes that his best friend won't be cut in half. 

But it was odd. The closer you went, the less fussy that sunfish seemed. In fact, when you stood in front of the growling wolf, the wolf seem to stop and wonder as well.

On how in the world that this little person wasn't afraid of him, and why they was exposing their neck-

“(Y/N)!”

You put up both hands in surrender before you spoke.

"Put down your sword, Joonghyuk-ah." 

Slowly (shockingly), the protagonist lowered his sword. Then, he just stared. 

What the fuck is happening? 

The sunfish hugged you and buried his face deep in the older's shoulder. Wait no, the Yoo Joonghyuk was sniffing your neck like a wolf. 

You and Kim Dokja let out a long sigh.

"(Y/N)?" 

"Yes?" Kim Dokja flinched when Yoo Joonghyuk growled at him and wrapped both arms around you possessively. 

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" 

"I'm fine. At least for now."

"Shouldn't we try to reverse this?" 

"We could, but we don't know what scenario Joonghyuk-ah got. Whatever it is, I'm assuming he must finish it. Right Loki?"

[The Constellation ‘Constellation Who Likes to Change Genders’ is nodding in agreement]

"Then shouldn't we try to get Master to communicate with us?" 

You rubbed the little wolf’s head and the other responded by rubbing his head back. 

Who would have thought that Yoo Joonghyuk could be tamed? 

Kim Dokja on the other hand, felt like whatever this scenario was, Yoo Joonghyuk was taking full advantage of it, seeing how the wolf kept looking his way in a smug way.

"He can't read, write, or speak, but he can fight like a wolf, and recognize people. Though if there is one thing about the scenario, it most likely has something to do with me." 

“Yea, and against me.” You chuckled at your best friend’s annoyed face, and he rolled his eyes. 

"Alright, alright, give me a day and I’ll see if I can figure it out. I'm gonna spend a day with this baby wolf." 

“Baby wolf? More like a beast.” Han Sooyoung quipped, and many agreed. 

You on the other hand had no issues, even while feeling the wolf’s sharp teeth against your neck. You thought it was cute that the Yoo Joonghyuk wanted your attention.

"If we're talking about taming animals, usually it would be Gilyoung-ah and Yoosung-ah to take care of it. But this one bites. So I'll take care of it." The children nod reluctantly. 

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is amused by this situation]

While others seem a bit hesitant, after your reassurance, they trusted you to figure this out. Kim Dokja on the other hand, was very worried, and so decided to stay in the vicinity in case anything were to go wrong.

"Now then," You lean back into Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest and his body, feeling his body engulf your smaller one. 

[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ is cooing at how cute you two look]

[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ have sponsored you 1000 coins]

"Let's tame a wolf."

Kim Dokja couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous (just a little), as he watched his best friend invest all of their attention on the protagonist. 

And he knows that the werewolf is happy and smug about it! 

When you feed Yoo Joonghyuk, when you groom him, and when you have to physically entertain him, Kim Dokja knew this was a scenario to mess with him. 

[The Constellation ‘Constellation Who Likes to Change Genders’ hints to Incarnation ‘Kim Dokja’ to steal Incarnation ‘(Y/N)’ away]

[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ agrees and urges Incarnation ‘Kim Dokja’ to be a brave man]

[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ is excited for the drama to unfold and is at the edge of her seats]

Kim Dokja sighs and before he could say anything, you called. 

“Dokja! I think I know what it is now!”

Kim Dokja widen his eyes in relief, finally-

“I think he just wants to make you jealous, so you have to kiss him or something. Like Beauty and the Beast!” 

Kim Dokja’s jaw dropped.

[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ squeals]

[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is pulling out his hair]

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is questioning your IQ but encourages anyway]

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ have sponsored you 1000 coins]

“Haha, just kidding, look at your faces. Ow, Hey!” Yoo Joonghyuk nibs at your neck, leaving another mark. 

“(Y/N)...” Kim Dokja groans in frustration.

“But I do know the solution.” You say while suddenly standing up, knocking the wolf in his chin, and in that swift moment, you flipped your positions, with the wolf under your knee.

“You’re a good boy aren’t you?” 

In the next moment, you kissed the fluttered wolf on his nose and then whispered in his ear, 

“What a good boy.” In the most seductive voice you can mutter. 

“(Y/N)?!” Kim Dokja blushed slightly at how provocative you and Yoo Joonghyuk's position looked. 

One part of him want to be in that position too-

“Alright, you got what you wanted right? Loki?” 

[The Constellation ‘Constellation Who Likes to Change Genders’ is happy]

“What? What did he want?” Kim Dokja was confused in the midst of all the messages from literally every constellation.

Until Kim Dokja saw it.

Yoo Joonghyuk in his human form, blushing.

Under you. 

It didn’t last long before he violently reacted and wanted to murder both of you, but by then, you and Kim Dokja had already ran for your lives, and you with a picture in your hand.

“Worth it!” 

“Bruh, you’re telling me the Yoo Joonghyuk has a praise kink?” 

Han Sooyoung began running too.

“Oh and Dokja,” Kim Dokja looked your way, and suddenly he received a peck on his cheek. 

“Don’t sulk just because you didn’t get a kiss.” 

“Wha-” Kim Dokja flushed and put a hand to cover it.

“Don’t worry, you’re a good boy too.” 

“(Y/N)!” He screeches as he suddenly sprints faster away in embarrassment.

“(Y/N)! Collect your wolf hubby!” 

"I'm going to kill you (Y/N)!"

The chaos lasted for a bit, and in the midst of all that chaos, Loki was able to auction the video and images of every moment in the scenario. 

Needless to say, Uriel and Secretive Plotter was definitely winning the majority of that auction.