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iluvmattsbeard · 4 months

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threat (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: swearing/smut/p in v/ unprotected sex/cheating/mentions a bit of blood/drinking

preview: you and your baby daddy Matt kept a close relationship for the sake of your toddler. your boyfriend Liam never saw Matt as a problem. he knew you guys were only close because of your shared child, or so he thought.

a/n: drama alert 😗

you were laying on the couch with your boyfriend Liam as you both watch a movie. you weren’t paying attention as much because you couldn’t help but have constant thoughts in your head. tomorrow was your daughter Sophie’s 2nd birthday. you were feeling anxious of the thought of your boyfriend and your baby daddy finally meeting. you have been hesitant to introduce Liam to Matt. you let out a soft sigh. your boyfriend looks at you as he speaks up, “what’s wrong?” you look at him hesitant to speak what’s on your mind. “come on you can tell me.” he adds on reassuringly. “i’m nervous for tomorrow.” you say quietly.

his face soon turned into confusion, “what why? is it because i’m finally going to meet Matt?” he asks which you respond with a nod. his expression softens as he lets out a laugh, “babe don’t worry so much. i’m glad I can finally meet him and finally see if he’s better looking than me.” he says. you just sit there with an unamused look as his smile fades, “in all seriousness, i understand how important this is to you. i know you guys are co parenting for Sophie and I think it’s awesome how you guys kept a close bond for her.” he says. “it’s just- i mean-.” you sigh stopping yourself, “he has to have some sort of approval you know? i mean you are around his daughter constantly.” you finish off.

Liam nods, “I understand. I’ll just have to leave off a good impression.” he says with a smile. you still have the same blank face as you nod. you lay your head back down on his chest as you continue to have the thoughts. you were hoping for the best.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you were in the backyard setting up the tables as your Mom helped you. your mom stared at you as she noticed your expression. "what's wrong Y/n?" she asks laying down napkins. you were fixing the center pieces as you stop to look at her. "is it obvious?" you say with an awkward laugh. she lets out a soft laugh before responding, "yes it is. is it because Liam and Matt are going to meet later?" you sigh, "yes. Liam is some what excited to meet him. Matt on the other hand has been giving this weird vibe through text. what if Matt doesn't approve?" you say.

"so what if he doesn't? just because you have a daughter together doesn't mean you can't simply have your own life." she says. "plus, he was the one who ended the relationship between you two remember?" she adds on. she was right about that. Matt ended the relationship because he didn't feel ready for the whole commitment of living together. he thought everything was going too fast. he still wanted to be in his daughter's life though. he's a good father, he just wasn't the best partner.

he wasn't good at being open or vulnerable. so that's what ended the relationship. you and Liam on the other hand have been together for almost a year and he does nothing but prove to you that he is a great man. he adores your daughter and that's what made you grow more attached to him. you nod your head, "yeah you're right. i'm with Liam now so he just has to put up with it." you say with a weak smile. she rubs your shoulder, "good. now let's go fix the dessert table." she says.

as time goes by, guests finally started to arrive. you were holding your daughter as she rested on your hip. Liam was right next to you as he tries to make Sophie smile for a picture, "look over here Sophie!" he says holding his phone while making a silly face. Sophie starts to giggle as she looks at the camera. meanwhile while you were giggling as well at Liam, Matt walks into the backyard. "Matthew!" your mom says with a smile, embracing him in a hug. Matt embraces her back in a hug as he says hi. as they were hugging, he sees you laughing in the distance with Liam and Sophie. it made him tense up a bit from the sight. he pulls away from your mother as he speaks, "i'm going to go say hi to Y/n and them." he says as your Mom nods.

Matt then makes his way to you guys. you notice and do a double take making your smile fade away. you could tell he was tense. he was wearing a white shirt, black pants with his keys hooped onto his belt ring, and a fitted hat. you gulp as you lock eyes with him. "hey Matt." you say quietly. "Dada!" Sophie squeals as she reaches for him. Matt takes her from your arms as he smiles, "hi princess." he says. he then looks at Liam, looking at him up and down, "what's up. you must be Liam." he says. "yes that's me. you must be Matt." Liam responds holding his hand out. Matt looks at his hand for a bit before going to give him a handshake. Liam gulps with a nervous smile. he was a bit intimidated by Matt. he didn't expect Matt to look the way he does.

Matt notices your stare as he grins, "you did good setting this up. i'm sorry I couldn't help. busy morning." he says. "thank you. it's fine, I had my parents and Liam to help me." you respond. Liam was noticing the way Matt looked at you. he wrapped his arm around you as he looked at Matt. Matt tenses up again and lets a fake smile appear on his face, "Dada! bouncy house!" Sophie says making him look at her and chuckle. "well I guess I have to go." Matt says as he walks away with Sophie. "are you sure I have nothing to worry about with you and Matt?" Liam says pulling away. you widen your eyes as you nod, "of course! me and Matt are just co parenting." you say. "okay, just making sure." he smiles, "I hope I get to talk to him more later." you just nod and give a fake smile. you turn to look towards the bounce house as you see Matt playing with your daughter.

you couldn't help but look in admiration. even though you were in a relationship, you still couldn't shake off the thought of 'what if?'. what if things were different? you just stood there as you tried to avoid the thoughts. later on, Liam and Matt started to talk to each other as you sat there with Sophie on your lap. it looked like they were getting along, which made you feel a little bit of relief. you were mostly studying Matt's facial expressions and body language. it looked like he was enjoying the conversation.

"time for cake!" you hear your mother say. you get up carrying Sophie as you make your way to the dessert table. everybody else follows as they gather around the table. you stood behind the cake as Matt joins right next to you. you all started to sing happy birthday as Matt keeps his eyes on you while singing. you weren't paying attention as you sing as well. when the song comes to an end, you smile as you lean towards the cake. "blow the candle baby!" you say to Sophie.

Sophie blows out the candle and everybody claps. Sophie claps as well while giggling. "take a picture guys!" your mother says holding her phone out. you and Matt stand close together, "look Sophie, look at grandma and smile." you say. she smiles big making you let out a soft laugh. your laughter slowly died out as you felt Matt's arm wrap around your waist, gripping a bit. you gulp before smiling a bit at the camera. you felt Matt softly rub your waist as his hand touched your skin a bit under your shirt. after the picture was taken, you move away quickly.

time goes by and the party finally ends, you say bye to everybody and thank them. “i got to go too babe.” Liam says. you turn to look at him as you speak, “what why? you aren’t spending the night?” he smiles a bit before responding, “i have work early in the morning. you know this.” you sigh and nod, “alright… just text me when you get home.” you say. he embraces you in a hug and he kisses your forehead before leaving. “how sweet.” you hear a familiar voice say. you turn your head around to see Matt. "are you heading out now too?" you say. "yeah. I cleaned up a bit so you have less to do. I also took a few of Sophie's gifts so she can have some more toys at my place." he says. you nod and smile, "thank you. tell Nick and Chris I said hi." you say. "I will." he says walking to leave but he stops right next you as he whispers in your ear, "I don't like him." you widen your eyes as he walks out.

a few days pass by since the party and you couldn't help but replay what Matt last said to you before he left. how could he just leave with no explanation to his words? you thought they were hitting it off, what made Matt dislike him? you were in the kitchen as you poured yourself a glass of wine. you sat on the your bar stool as you looked through the photos that had been taken at the party. you couldn't help but keep your eyes on the one of you and Matt. remembering his touch on your waist in that moment.

as you sit there staring at the photo, you hear the door bell ring. you put down your wine glass as you look towards the door confused. who could it be? you get up walking towards the door, opening it. you were caught by the site of Matt. he was wearing the same fitted hat from the party, grey long sleeve shirt, and baggy jeans. your eyes widen a bit from shock, "Matt? what are you doing here?" you ask.

"I thought I was picking up Sophie?" he says. you look at the date on your phone before looking back up at him, "no, you were supposed to pick her up tomorrow. she's with my parents right now." you say. he knew that. he just wanted an excuse to see you, "oh, I got the days mixed up." he says which was a lie. you let out a soft laugh as you believe his words, "yeah..." you say. it stayed silent for a bit as he checks you out, "can I stick around for a bit? I mean I didn't drive here for no reason." he says. you were hesitant but eventually respond, "uh sure I guess." he smiles as you open the door all the way letting him in. you shut the door before following behind him towards the kitchen. "drinking on a Wednesday afternoon?" he chuckles. you smile nervously, "I was just in the mood to do so." you reply.

he takes off his hat, laying it down on the counter. he began to fix his hair in the microwave reflection as you stand there watching him. “so… about what you last said…” you say quietly. he turns to look at you, “what about it?” he asks. “well, i thought you guys were getting along. why don’t you like him?” you ask shifting uncomfortably. he grins before speaking up, “it’s not that i think he’s a bad guy. he’s cool to talk to don’t get me wrong. i just don’t like him for you.” you look at him with confusion before responding, “why is that?” “Y/n, do you think i believe it?” he says catching you off guard, “what is that supposed to mean?” you ask.

“you really want me to believe you actually want to be with him?” he says before letting out a chuckle, “look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t think about me still.” he adds on. your eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his words, “are you serious Matt?” you say. he gets closer to you, looking down at you, “tell me.” he says. you look up at him as you analyze his face. what is he doing? you could smell his cologne from how close he was. the familiar scent drove you crazy. “i-i’m with Liam.” you stutter out. he lets out a laugh as he grips onto your waist, picking you up, placing you on the counter, “keep telling yourself that.” he says before attaching his lips onto yours.

your eyes widen again as you almost pull away but you quickly give in from the familiarity. his hands were attached on your hips under your shirt slightly. the kiss was getting heavier as you felt him stick his tongue into your mouth. you do the same back as your tongues fight for dominance. he eventually won like always. your legs were wrapped around his waist as he begins to kiss on your neck. “Matt…” you moan out softly. he grins before picking you up walking to your bedroom. he lays you down on the bed before going to shut the door, locking it. he wastes no time crawling on top of you as he reattaches his lips with yours. it felt so wrong but so right at the same time.

he then slips his hand down your silk pajama pants as he rubs on your clothed cunt. you gasp a bit from the sudden feeling as you felt yourself get wet. “M-Matt…” you stutter out. he then starts to kiss on your neck again as you moan out softly before turning to look to your side to see the framed photo of you and Liam. shit. Matt then pulls away, slipping his hand out from your pants as he takes off his shirt. he notices you looking at the framed photo. he goes back to kiss you as you kiss back, without pulling away, he knocks the frame from the table onto the ground on purpose. he begins to take your shirt off, exposing your bare tits. he looks at them, “how i missed them.” he says. you blush slightly from his words.

he then pulls down your pajama pants along with your panties. he then pulls down his jeans along with his boxers which makes your eyes widen at his lengthy cock. “you missed this huh?” he asks. you gulp while nodding. you knew he was much bigger than Liam. you spread your legs as he takes the blanket to cover you both before inserting into you causing you to throw your head back from the feeling. he begins to thrust back and forth as he watches your face that had visible pleasure shown. “you like that baby? feels good huh?” he says. you nod moaning out, “fuck yes.” he laughs before picking up the pace, “that’s right.” he says. your eyes started to roll back as he hit your g spot over and over again. Matt smirks, “you belong to me.” he says.

before you know it, you both were going at it for a while. you were taking in the moment as you now remembered why you both ended up with a child. when you guys were finished, Matt kisses your forehead before getting up, “can i take a shower?” he asks. you nod, “of course you can.” he smiles before going to the bathroom, leaving you there staring at the ceiling.

after a bit, you put your panties and your shirt back on clueless. little did you know, Liam was downstairs looking for you. as he heads to the kitchen, he notices Matt’s fitted hat. which made him pick it up with his face heating up from anger. he grips the hat before walking upstairs to your room, quickly opening the door. Matt walks out with only a towel wrapped around his waist, he locks eyes with the angered man as you sit up looking at Liam as well, “so how long has this been going on?” Liam says. “L-Liam. i can explain.” you say. he just throws the hat on the bed as he walks out the room. you get up quickly, running after him. “Liam please!” you shout desperately. Matt begins to put his clothes on in your room. Liam stops walking as he turns to look at you, “you’re fucking ridiculous Y/n.” he says.

“Liam please it’s not what it looks like.” you plead. all he does is scoff, “what the fuck do you mean? it’s clear to me.” he says. “i didn’t want to see him as a threat for your sake and for your daughter but i guess i had to.” he adds on shouting. “i-i didn’t think this would happen.” you say. “oh don’t start.” he says rolling his eyes. “i’m sorry Liam it was so sudden-.” you say but he cuts you off, “it’s a little too late for that. it was obvious since the party that you still felt some type of way for him. you lied to me!” he shouts. Matt was at door listening. “can you please calm down? like i said, i didn’t think this would happen.” you say. Liam just scoffs again, “you didn’t think this would happen? where you would spread your legs like a fucking slut?” he shouts causing you to flinch from the words that came out his mouth.

suddenly, Matt comes out from the door way as he swings at Liam. you cover your mouth as you look at the boy on the ground holding his face, “why did you do that?!” Liam yells out. Matt was standing there angrily as he yanks Liam from his shirt aggressively to get closer to his face, “you know why i did that. what you’re going to do now is go down those stairs and walk out the fucking door.” Matt says sternly. you stand there shocked as you see Liam’s lip bleeding from the altercation. Liam just stares at Matt with the same shocked expression as you. “and don’t even bother showing up again. understood?” Matt adds on. “don’t just fucking stare at me. answer me.” Matt shouts angrily which causes Liam to nod quickly. he releases him from his grip as the busted up boy walks down the stairs, leaving your house.

Matt looks at you, “what a pussy.” he says with a laugh. “I can’t believe he called me a slut.” you say. “a slut for me that’s for sure.” Matt says with a grin. you smile hitting him playfully, “there you ruined my relationship are you happy?” you say. “yeah i guess.” he says which causes you to glare at him. “what do you mean ‘i guess’?” you say. “well yeah i’m glad he’s gone now but it would make me even happier if you got back together with me.” he says. “are you even ready?” you ask because last you recall he wasn’t. “i’m more than ready. seeing you be happy with that guy and Sophie at the party made me angry. but i felt stupid for being angry because if i didn’t leave in the first place, you wouldn’t have been with that guy. now, i realize what i did was cowardly. instead of thinking for myself i should’ve thought about you and our little family.”

you stand there with your stomach turning. when did he become so open? “if you give me a chance, i will make it up to you and Sophie. I love you Y/n.” he says which makes your heart start to beat fast. “i love you too Matt. i want nothing more than this.” you say. Matt smiles and embraces you in a hug. it stayed silent for a bit until he broke it, “plus be honest.” you look up at him confused, “what?” you ask. he looks down at you with a grin, “who fucks you better? i mean you did have my baby.” he says. you push him away turning red which makes him laugh. “answer the question Y/n.” he says with a smile. “shut up Matt.” you say. you already knew he knew the answer to that stupid question.

a/n: daddy Matt 😗 this song is so nostalgic

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inkskinned · 8 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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freaksun · 2 months

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eddie doesnt let anyone touch his hair. ever.

it reminds him of his late mother, who had the same gorgeous untamed curls. She used to comb his hair when he was little, being ever so gentle and taking her time brushing out the knots.

his father made him feel less-than for just about everything about him, including his gorgeous mane. Called him awful names and always told him to ‘cut that fairy shit’ when it grew too long.

so, ever since she passed, and his father went to jail, hes been growing it.

unfortunately, she never taught him how to take care of it, she’d always just do it herself. So, he doesnt put product in it, he doesnt cut it, he doesnt even brush it. And, stubborn as his mama, he doesnt let anyone else touch it either.

then you come along, happy and sweet, always loving to everyone. he falls in love with you so fast he hardly even notices. you certainly dont either.

one hot summer day you’re both in his room, you on his bed, him pacing, frantically explaining some sort of nerdy campaign idea. you dont know, you havent been listening for a while, too distracted by the way he keeps wiping sweat from the back of his neck. you cut him off rudely, he doesnt mind

“hey eddie?”

“sweetheart?”

“whens the last time you got a haircut?”

he freezes, silent, which is very out of character, dude never shuts up.

“uhh. like a few years ago. why?”

its your turn to be quiet, suddenly all coy. he finds you absolutely adorable as you stare at his floor, trying to find a way to ask him without startling him. as if he were some wild animal, which, he basically is.

“just.. immm noticinggg its kinda matted in the back…”

you try to sound the least accusing as you can. he doesnt seem offended but you can tell hes thinking.

“well, yeah, i. i guess i just havent touched it since. well my mom used to do it for me”

you feel like an ass, touching on something you shouldnt have, making him all quiet and sad. you backtrack.

“jesus, eddie, im sorry i didnt mean to-“

“its okay angel, i know”

he sits next to you. you give him a nervous smile, still sweet, hesitantly reaching for his curls. you can tell he’s hesitant too, but he nods, granting you permission. you take a single strand between your fingers, twirling it.

“Its so pretty, eds. ..would you let me? take care of it, i mean?”

hes scared. but youre so sweet and youre asking so nicely. a part of him is scared if he lets you, he loses another part of his mom. but the other part is staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but genuine affection.

“i.. i guess you could.. try.”

his heart pounds in his chest. You absolutely beam, thanking him immediately and bouncing around the room, looking for a brush. he laughs, shaking his head. you watch as he rummages through his closet, before handing you a light pink brush. you think about teasing him for it but he already looks vulnerable. you smile sweetly instead, taking it from him.

“sit” you point with the brush. he does as you say, running his hands up and down his thighs in a self soothing motion.

“its okay eds, you dont have to be nervous.. ill be gentle i promise” he gives you an unconvincing smile. you return with a guilty one, downturned. you kneel in front of him, in between his knees, brushing his bangs with your fingers.

“we can stop whenever you want, okay?” his cheeks are bright red as he nods timidly

you move to sit behind him, and run your hands through his curls gently, admiring it. you take a part, hold it at the root, and brush gently.

“that feel okay? tell me if it hurts” ever so sweet.

“mm-hm” you can feel his nervousness. “you- you remind me of her, y’know”

youre pretty taken aback, but honoured nonetheless. you keep brushing through the mattes in his hair as you talk.

“Yeah? Wanna tell be about her?” youre not sure if its the right thing to say, but you figure he probably hasnt told anyone about her. you can practically feel his energy shift.

“she was sweet. loving and kind to everyone, like you.” you both smile. “and she was pretty. beautiful. i really miss her.” you stop, rub his back a little.

“i can only imagine.. im sorry eddie.” he turns to face you, smiling.

“s’alright sweetheart. thanks for letting me talk about her” he hugs you. you hug him back, tight.

“hows the ole hair going?” He asks when he pulls back, a joking tone to lighten the mood.

“good!!! ive gotten the mattes outta this chunk here, it looks good. your hair is really beautiful, eds” youre ecstatic and it travels to him.

“thank you. my mom had the same hair.” he smiles, turning back around to let you continue.

“i bet she was really gorgeous.” youre extra-extra gentle. He keeps talking and you keep working. He tells you about how she smelled, the softness of her voice, his favourite memories with her. he tells you about the last time he saw her. he tells you all the things hes been holding inside, everything he never got to tell anyone, never trusted anyone enough. and when hes done, his hair is untangled and soft.

you smile proudly, running your hands through his hair, marveling at your work.

“its done” he whips around, looking at you with wide excited eyes

“really??” you nod, smiling wide. he runs over to the bathroom to see for himself. You stand behind him, peeking over his shoulder in the mirror. Hes surprised, looks like he might even cry. you wrap your arms around him, leaning your head against his arm.

“do you like it? Its a little poofy, but you can wash it out and it’ll look be-“ he cuts you off by turning around and hugging you. he hugs you tight, lifting you up.

“thank you.” you can tell he really means it.

#my fics #eddie munson x female reader #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #my fic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie my love <3 #my writing

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girlgenius1111 · 5 days

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throw it all away part 2

part 2 of 2 :) [putellas!reader] just because she knows, now, doesn't mean the path to recovery is straightforward. alexia struggles to help you the way you need. you struggle to even want help. tw: this is a fic about r struggling with an ED. proceed with caution.

—

The protein shake glass sat empty in front of you when Alexia walked into the kitchen. Olga was in the chair next to you, rubbing your back slowly. There were tears running down your face, but your expression was stony.

Alexia took the seat next to you without a second thought, pulling you into her side. “I’m proud of you.”

“I hate myself.” You murmured, almost against your will. “This shouldn’t be so hard. It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Alexia objected. “It’s okay. This happens, it’s normal, pequeña.”

You looked at her strangely, pulling away from her embrace and your sister winced at her own words, scrambling to fix her mistake. “I just mean this is how you’re supposed to feel. In recovery, this is normal. It’s going to be hard, but you just have to push through and-”

“Ale,” Olga interrupted, shaking her head gently.

Alexia looked back at you, falling silent as she did so. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment, or maybe anger, and you were staring at the plate in front of you like it had personally harmed you. The blonde couldn’t take the look on your face, wanted more than anything to just say the right thing and have all the answers for you, and she started blabbering again before she could stop herself.

“You did a really good job finishing your protein shake-”

At this, you rolled your eyes, and Alexia started talking faster.

“-maybe we can get your favorite takeout for dinner? The pasta place you like, with the– ow, Olga.”

Again, Alexia fell silent, rubbing her arm where her girlfriend had elbowed her. Olga was shooting her a look and your sister sighed, rubbing at her forehead with her hand. Obviously discussing food was a no go, she should know better than that. She thought hard, trying to think of anything that would make you feel better, get rid of the horribly sad frown on your face.

“Maybe you can come to training tomorrow and watch! So you don’t miss out on too much, and-”

“Alexia, for the love of god, shut up.” You snapped, throwing your hands up in the air and rising from your chair.

“Pequeña, I’m just trying to-”

“You don’t want me to miss out on too much training, I got it. Football is the most important thing. I know that, Alexia. I know. I know I’m fucking my season right now, I know I’m fucking the team, so please just, for once, stop talking about fucking football.”

Alexia couldn’t help the hurt that panged in her chest, or the pained look she was sure flashed across her face. You felt guilt split your chest open at the sight, but you pushed that away, trying to hold onto your anger, which was quickly fading.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” You turned to walk out of the room, but Olga’s voice behind you made you freeze in your tracks.

“Nena? Can you leave the door open a crack please?”

You felt everything inside of you seize up at her words, shame and frustration and embarrassment and hurt welling up, until a few tears fell down your cheeks. God, you hated that they knew. They didn’t even know but they knew, and that was awful. Incomparably, singularly awful.

“Why does she have to– oh.” Alexia said. She hadn’t really considered that as a possibility. She thought you just weren’t eating. This seemed… worse, somehow. When you turned around to look at her, you could tell she thought it was worse.

“Yeah.” You agreed, turning back around and practically stomping out of the room.

As soon as you were gone, Alexia turned to her girlfriend. “How did you know she was… doing that?”

Olga exhaled heavily, leaning back in her chair. The two of you were going to give her a migraine, but she didn’t really blame you. Alexia on the other hand…

“I didn’t. I wasn’t sure, but I asked her to leave the door open just in case. Her reaction, though… she is.”

“Oh.” Alexia mumbled, unconsciously reaching for her girlfriend’s hand. Olga pulled away with a shake of her head, sitting up straighter in her chair.

“Ale, you have to relax. Talking her ear off isn’t helping right now, she’s already overwhelmed.”

“I’m just trying to help!”

“I know you are, amor, but you have to think about how she’s feeling right now,”

“But I don’t know how she’s feeling! I want to, but I don’t understand! I can’t understand. Keeping your body healthy is the most important thing in football, and I don’t understand why she’s done this, because I would never do this. How am I supposed to help if I don’t understand? I can’t, Olga. I can’t fix this.”

Both women were speaking too loudly to hear your footsteps returning to the kitchen, though you paused just outside the doorway, catching the end of your sister’s sentence.

I can't fix this. she'd said.

I can’t understand.

I would never do this.

How am I supposed to help?

It sounded like she’d already given up on you. She’d decided she couldn’t understand, couldn’t help, and it was all your fault. For pushing away her attempts to help earlier, snapping at her when you knew she was just trying to make you feel better. You felt like a lost cause, but now she felt that way about you too.

You took a deep breath, walking back into the kitchen before Olga could reply. You looked oddly pale and shaky, and though it was because you’d overheard your sister and misunderstood, Ale didn’t know that. She glanced over at you, doing a double take as her eyes widened.

“Nena, did you…?”

Next to the blonde, Olga suppressed a sigh. You blinked at her for a second, confused, before recoiling backwards, a scowl etched onto your face. “No. I left the door open like you told me to, and I didn’t do anything.”

Alexia relaxed, just barely, clearly about to say something else that would be entirely wrong when Olga spoke first.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and take a little bit, pequeña? It’s been a long day, you must be exhausted and overwhelmed.”

Your sister nodded her agreement, and you felt your heart sink even further if possible. Of course they didn’t want to deal with you anymore today. You didn’t say you’d rather be with them, because the loneliness would be almost too much to bear. You just nodded, eyes fixed on the hardwood floor under you as you turned and left the room once more.

—

Alexia felt slightly more prepared to talk to you when she knocked on your door a half hour later. She’d done some quick research, compiling another list in her head of what to say and what not to say. She’d tried to convince Olga to go up and check on you instead of her, because all the midfielder seemed to be able to do today was mess up, but Olga had insisted that it be Alexia. You needed your sister, and Alexia needed to make up for the absolute disaster she’d been earlier.

All she got in response to her knock was a sharp huff.

“Chiqui? Can I come in?”

“I guess.” You called back. Alexia opened your door, slipping inside and finding you sprawled on your bed, staring hard at the ceiling.

She hovered in the doorway uncertainly, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she settled on what she wanted to say. “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I’m feeling?” You snapped, glaring at her harshly.

“Hey,” Alexia tried, though she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to scold you for catching an attitude with her. She didn’t know what any of the rules were anymore.

You shook your head with an annoyed huff. “What do you want, Ale? I thought I didn’t need to talk any more today.”

And Olga had promised you that. Alexia was just hoping, perhaps naively, that you’d want to talk to her more. Instead, it seemed like you were barely holding yourself back from forcibly shoving your sister out of your room.

Any other time, any other situation, Alexia would have shouted at you to be respectful. Both of you knew that. It only made you feel worse that she felt that she had to tiptoe around you. She was treating you differently already and you hated that.

Alexia studied you for a few moments, before walking over to your bed and taking a seat on the edge of it. She put her hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it off, and Alexia bit her lip. You noticed she was wearing this absurd shirt you’d gotten her as a joke a few years ago, one that proclaimed her as the world’s best sister. Really, you’d given it to Ale to spite Alba after arguing with her, though you’d also gotten Alba one a few days later, just to make sure her feelings weren’t hurt. Alexia wearing it now could have been completely accidental, or it could have been some kind of weird confidence boost she was trying to give herself. Either way, you felt emotion try to claw out of the pit you’d shoved it into, but you pushed it down again.

“I just want to help you.” The blonde said finally, her hands fiddling with a stray thread on your comforter.

You scoffed, sitting up off your bed and turning to face your sister. “You don’t mean that.”

Alexia’s head whipped up to look at you, an absolutely crestfallen look on her face. “Of course I do. Why would you say that?”

“You don’t. You said so earlier, you don’t understand, you can’t understand, you’d never do this. How are you supposed to help? You can’t, so don’t pretend that you want to.” You were fully crying now, pacing around your room but absolutely refusing to make eye contact with Alexia.

The midfielder’s heart sank as you threw her words back at her. She hadn’t known you’d overheard her, hadn’t realized how that had sounded. She’d been begging Olga to give her some guidance, not expressing that she’d given up on you, that she didn't really want to help you.

“Oh, mi pequeña,” Alexia whispered, standing and pulling you into a hug. You didn’t hug her back, even as her arms wrapped tight around you, and she pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “That’s not what I meant, not at all. I’ve never been through this, nena, and it’s hard for me to understand, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you. I do, more than anything.”

“You shouldn’t bother. It’s hopeless, I can’t do this.” You sobbed, finally hugging Alexia back, clinging on tightly to her shirt.

“It’s not hopeless. It might feel like it is, but I am never going to give up on you, on trying to understand, on trying to help. Never, nena.”

You pulled away for her, guilt once again replacing anger. Taking a few shuddering breaths, you tried to get your thoughts in order, or, you supposed, your feelings in order. You looked at your sister again, her arms at her sides as she looked at you helplessly.

“You’re being too patient with me.” You whispered, sitting down heavily on the edge of your bed.

Alexia took a seat next to you, feeling like maybe… maybe she did know what to say. “No. I don’t think I’m being patient enough.”

You shook your head, though still allowed your sister to grab your hand in hers. Whether it was for your comfort or for hers, you weren’t sure. Maybe both. “I’m not…I’m not sick. This problem, it’s all mental. I don’t deserve for everyone to be this kind and this patient. I chose this.”

There was a certain guilt that accompanied all of this. A real sickness, in your mind, wasn’t something that a person inflicted onto themselves. This was your fault. You had started it, you had continued it, and you’d let it get so bad that other people had to intervene. You didn’t deserve your sister’s patience.

Alexia gripped your hand tighter. “You are sick. Your brain is sick. And while you get better, you deserve all the kindness and patience. You made choices that got you here, but you are sick, hermanita. Just a different type than you’re used to.”

You looked at her tearfully, an almost pleading expression on your face. “I don’t know how to get better, Ale. I don’t know if I can.”

Alexia understood, then, that you weren’t pushing her away because you didn’t want her help, necessarily. You just didn’t want to waste her time when the task ahead of you felt so entirely impossible.

“I don’t know either. I don’t really know how to help you, but I’m going to find out, and I’m going to do it. Whatever it takes, nena. You are my baby sister, and you are worth the effort. I’m not going to give up on you. Not ever.”

For a moment, you looked at Alexia like you used to look at her. When you were tiny and she was your perfect, safe older sister. Your Ale, who let you sleep in her bed after bad dreams, who double knotted your shoelaces in the morning, and carried your backpack to class. Who taught you how to kick a football, and that you could be anything you wanted. You looked at Alexia like she’d hung the stars and the moon, like she could do anything.

That look used to make her feel like she could do anything, your belief in her something she could always count on. Now, the determination in Alexia’s eyes made you feel like you could do anything, just for a moment. You needed more than a moment, though.

—

If it wasn’t bad enough that you couldn’t play, couldn’t train, couldn’t even spend time in the gym without close supervision, you were seeing the specialist psychologist that the club had brought in every single day. The first few sessions didn’t heed much. It seemed she was trying to create a rapport with you, getting to know you before she tried to get you to bare your soul to her.

It was after your fourth session with your therapist, Lucia, that she began to press you to talk about the issue at hand. And it was after your fourth session that you found yourself speed walking out of Lucia’s office, not watching where you were going, tears streaming down your cheeks.

You were desperately hoping not to run into any of your teammates, as the facts of what was going on had been kept strictly between the captains and the coaching staff. Your teammates, however, would have had to be blind to not realize something was going on. All they’d been told was that you were out of training and matches for the time being.

Maybe some of them would have asked more questions if not for the terrifying shadow that your sister had become. She walked you to Lucia’s office every day, tried her best to be waiting outside when you were done. Any time you spent with the team, normally just coming out to the pitch to say hello, Alexia hovered behind you, shooting anyone a death glare if they so much as looked like they were going to ask you something deeper than “how are you?”

You half wondered if your Mami had put her up to this, because the last time you’d seen Alexia this protective was when you were 6, and you’d been getting teased at school. A few words from Eli to Alexia had your sister walking you to your classroom one morning, and making verbal threats to half the boys in the room. Alexia had been scary then, even as a teenager, and her actions had been more than effective.

This behavior might just be all Alexia, although you knew she’d told Eli and Alba what’s been going on. You didn’t want them to know, and Alexia had hesitantly agreed not to tell them. Later, though, Olga had pulled you aside and said that it would probably be helpful to both you and Alexia to have other opinions involved, and for Alexia not to carry the stress of this all on her own. She had a point, there, and you’d given Ale the go ahead to inform your Mami and Alba. She’d done so, but aside from phone calls from each of them, they’d been respecting your space.

Everyone, really, had been respecting your space. Aside from a new meal plan from the team’s nutritionists that you’d been trying your best to follow, no one had been forcing you to talk.

Until today.

Lucia had pushed you for the first time, and you’d tried your best to be open with her. It went against every instinct you had, though, and you could barely stick to a narrative with Lucia. For half the conversation, you’d admitted that there was a problem. For the other half, you’d denied it, until you were sure you’d contradicted yourself several times.

She’d let you go 10 minutes early, probably because you were in tears and had gone pretty much silent on her; she must have decided she’d pushed you enough for the day. It was in this state, tears falling freely down your face, that you exited her office. You turned the corner towards the changing room, intending to grab your bag from your locker and see if Olga would come pick you up early, instead plowing directly into Mapi.

“Woah! Where’s the fire?” She joked, grabbing your arms to steady you. Her smile fell, though, when she saw that you were crying. “Pequeña? You okay?”

It was clear for anyone to see that you weren’t okay, but Mapi wasn’t quite sure how willing you’d be to talk to her, so she decided to give you an out in case you wanted to go find your sister instead. Mapi wasn’t expecting the broken sob that you let out, or the way that you shook your head, so easily admitting that something was wrong after so long of pretending the opposite to be true.

“Do you want me to go get Ale?” The defender asked softly.

Again, you shook your head. How could you explain that you were crying because of your sister to your sister. “N-no. She’s busy.”

“She wouldn’t mind, nena, you know that.”

That was entirely the problem. She was being too patient, too perfect, it was almost overwhelming. There was too much pressure on you to be perfect, too. A perfect recovery didn’t exist, but you felt like it had to. For Ale, for Lucia, for the club and the team. It felt like you were hurtling towards some unknown end, the pressure building everyday. You weren’t sure how much more you could take.

“She’s dealing with enough of this. It’s fine. I’m fine.” You spoke as if you were trying to convince yourself, but the wobbling of your voice gave you away.

“Venga,” Mapi sighed, opening her arms for a hug. She half expected you to reject her, but was pleasantly surprised when you stepped forward and wrapped yourself tight around her. You were trembling, and she tightened her grip on you, wondering if she should ignore what you’d said and go get Alexia anyway. She didn’t want to betray your trust, though, and it seemed very obvious that you didn’t want to see your sister at the moment, so Mapi settled for some empty words she hoped were somewhat comforting.

“It’s all gonna be okay, pequeña. Whatever it is, you’re going to be okay.”

“How do you know?” You mumbled, sniffling into the shoulder of her training top, half embarrassed and half too tired to even care.

Mapi rubbed your back slowly, thinking on her answer. She just… knew.

“You don’t give up. You’re a determined person, and you can do anything you put your mind to. Whatever is going on isn’t any different. You’re strong enough for anything, nena.”

Pulling away, you wiped at your face, managing a weak smile for the defender. “Thanks María.”

She smiled sadly back at you, as if she knew what she’d said hadn’t really helped. “Anything you need, I’m here, sí? We all are.”

You nodded, thanking her again before you continued on your way to the locker room, hopefully where you’d be able to grab your stuff and get out of her before seeing anyone else. Especially Alexia. You got lost in your thoughts again rather quickly, barely able to focus when Olga answered her phone and told you to wait for her outside. You were too wrapped up in what Mapi had said.

‘You’re a determined person.’

‘You’re strong enough.’

You didn’t feel strong. You didn’t even feel very determined. You felt weak, like it was only a matter of time before you cracked and let everyone down. And everyone would see just how weak you really were.

—

The house was too quiet when Alexia and Olga arrived home from dinner. No music playing, no mindless reality show on the TV. And you were nowhere to be seen. Alexia slid her shoes off, offering a hand out to steady Olga as the other woman removed her heels.

“Something’s wrong.” Alexia murmured, looking up the stairs as if she could see through the walls into your room. She didn’t know what was wrong or what had happened, but she just knew something wasn’t okay. “I shouldn’t have left her.”

Olga shook her head, though, giving her girlfriend a sad smile. “You can’t always be with her, Ale. This is something she has to do herself sometimes.”

The blonde frowned. “But what if…”

“If she did, you tell her it’s okay. You tell her that relapsing is a part of getting better, and that you’re not upset with her.” Alexia nodded slowly, worrying her lip between her teeth. Olga grabbed her hand, squeezing once. “If she did, she probably just wants a hug, amor. She doesn’t want to hear that you feel guilt for leaving her to her own devices. She’s already going to feel like she broke your trust, and that would only make it worse.”

For a second, Alexia just stared in wonder at her girlfriend. Because, of course, it all made sense when Olga explained it, but Alexia would never have considered things from that perspective. Before Olga even knew what was happening, Alexia was wrapping her in a tight hug, tucking the shorter woman’s head under her chin.

“Thank you. I would have messed this up so many times without you, and I’m so grateful that you’re here and you’re so willing to help.”

Olga hugged her back with a matching ferocity, feeling a small smile grow on her face. Once, she’d expressed to Alexia that she felt the other woman wasn’t expressive enough. It was hard to know what the very tough captain was thinking, even harder to know what she was feeling. Since then, Alexia had made a concerted effort to speak her feelings aloud. It wouldn’t ever not make Olga smile to hear Alexia expressing her appreciation for her. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Maybe I don’t have to, but I want to. I don’t want you to ever doubt how perfect you are.” Alexia replied sweetly, pressing a gentle kiss to Olga’s cheek.

It wasn’t the perfect date night that either of them had imagined, but it was still them, and that was enough.

—

You really hadn’t meant to ruin Ale and Olga’s evening. When they’d left, you thought it would be nice to have some time to yourself. And it would have been, if you hadn’t tried to push yourself to eat dessert on top of an entire dinner. You’d managed a few bites before you began to spiral, and it had all gone downhill from there.

Even still, you were hoping your sister and her girlfriend would slip into the house, say a brief goodnight, and not bother themselves with you. You certainly weren’t going to tell them what happened. Not today. It was your every intention to deal with your shame and embarrassment yourself in your room, which likely entailed crying into your pillow until you fell asleep.

Alexia ruined your plans, though, with her magical ability to sense when something wasn’t right. It allowed her to sniff out one of Pina’s pranks before it happened, allowed her to turn around and squirt Mapi with water just as the defender was about to do the same to her. It was a gut feeling, and it was even stronger when it involved you.

It wasn’t really magical. It was a lot of little things she picked up on. The little smirk Pina got before she pulled a prank. Mapi’s quiet giggling as she tried to sneak up on Ale. Now, it was the lack of noise in the house. The abandoned bowl of ice cream on the kitchen table, the light and fan left on in the downstairs bathroom. Your sister had known you all her life, and she knew what she’d find when she opened your bedroom door. Just like when you were little, and you’d sit at the foot of your bed when you’d gotten in trouble. Tears streaming down your little face, you’d turn away from Ale when she’d come after you, but she just had to wrap her arms around you, and you’d break.

You’d never been able to deny yourself the comfort of an Alexia hug.

Ale knocked softly before entering, finding you with your chin resting on your knees, wiping roughly at the tears falling down your face.

“Hey, chiqui.” She said softly.

“Hi.” You said, clearing your throat when your voice cracked. “How was your night?”

Alexia ruffled your hair, knowing exactly what you were attempting to do, and took a seat next to you. “It was nice, dinner was good. We had fun.”

“That’s good.”

Alexia wrapped her arm around your shoulders. “You can tell me if something happened.”

“Nothing happened.” You said firmly, though you leaned further into your sister, like she could protect you from something you’d done yourself. Something you’d done to yourself.

“Pequeña,”

“Nothing happened, Ale. Nothing.”

How could you tell her? How could you tell her that you’d failed, that you’d messed up, that you’d deviated from the plan? She was going to be upset, you knew it. She expected perfection. She always had. This would be no different. Alexia wanted you to have a perfect recovery.

As you continued to pretend nothing was wrong, Alexia felt a flash of frustration run through her. You still weren’t very willing to talk to her. Was she doing something wrong? Was she not not being patient enough or kind enough? What more could she do for you? What would it take for her to be enough?

She looked at you again, though, at the way your lower lip was wobbling, and the tears in your eyes that you refused to let fall. You were barely hanging on to your strength, and Alexia wasn’t sure why you were so resistant to being vulnerable with her, but she knew she couldn’t stop trying.

“Let me in. Please, you’re hurting, I can tell. Just talk to me.” She tried. When you stayed silent, she reached out, resting a hand on your shoulder. “I just want to help, nena. Let me help.”

You couldn’t take the pleading tone of your sister’s voice anymore, and the words streamed out of you before you could stop them.

“I’m sorry. I– It was all just too much, I didn’t have a choice, I had to,” You choked out, eyes fixed firmly on the wall in front of you, even as your voice cracked and you started to cry. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ale.”

“Nena, why are you sorry?” Alexia asked, pulling you into her. You sobbed, unrestrained, into her sweater for a few moments, leaning back to take a few gasping breaths as you tried to answer her.

“I– I messed up,” you cried. “I broke your trust and–”

“No, cariño, don’t think of it like that.” Alexia interrupted, wiping a few tears off your cheek, though more replaced them quickly.

“But it is like that! The minute you left I made myself–” You cut yourself off with a sharp shake of your head.

“Tell me. Tell me what happened, and we can talk through it, yeah?”

“You don’t want to hear.”

“Yes I do. That’s why I asked. Walk me through what happened and we can make a plan for next time.”

It was always about plans with your sister, but you weren’t in much of a state to argue with her.

“I– I ate dinner. And it was okay. It was better. I think it got too confident or I wasn’t thinking hard enough but I got myself some ice cream but I only had a few bites before I was thinking about all the calories in it and how I’d have to skip breakfast tomorrow to make up for it, and then I remembered I have breakfast plans with Alba and I would have to eat and so I knew I had to–... I went to–,”

You couldn’t go on, crying too hard to get another word out. You covered your face with your hand, more than humiliated at your tears and what you were trying to tell your sister. It felt horribly private, and you didn't want to see the disgust and judgment on your sister’s face. You’d never given her this much detail before, and you were sure she didn’t want to hear this.

If you’d just opened your eyes, though, you would have seen the opposite of what you were expecting. Alexia was near tears herself, simply from seeing the pain that you were in. You were normally so good at hiding it; even when Alexia knew something was wrong, she couldn’t truly see how much it affected you. Now, though, something in you had broken, and you were falling to pieces in front of her.

She hadn’t seen you cry like this since you’d broken your ankle training with her a few years ago. All she’d been able to think to do while she waited for Eli to come pick you both up was pull you into her lap, though you were too big for it.

And it was all she could think to do now, allowing you to tuck yourself into her and cry as hard as you needed to. She held you tightly, as if she could stabilize the world as it crumbled around you, her own tears falling freely now.

“Alright, alright. It’s okay. It’s all okay, hermanita.”

“It’s not.” You sobbed, bordering on hysterical now. “I le-let you down.”

“No,” Alexia disagreed. “No. You didn’t let me down. This is part of it, chiqui. Part of recovery is relapsing, and I will never ever be disappointed in you for that. I know this isn’t easy.”

You simply didn’t believe her. She had to be disappointed, so you had to keep trying to justify it.

“I-I hate feeling like this. I just needed to control something. I just needed to be in control.”

“I get that. It must be really scary to give up control over what’s going in your body. Listening to the meal plans and eating what we tell you has to be so difficult.”

And though it was what you’d wanted all week, to hear Alexia acknowledge how hard this was, it didn’t feel right. You were convinced she was just saying whatever she needed to to get you to stop crying, that she was disappointed, even if she wasn’t showing it. She shouldn’t have to push down her justified anger because you were a disaster, she should be mad at you.

“No, Ale, stop.” You said, though you didn’t have the strength to push away from where your face was buried in the fabric of her sweater. “You’re disappointed, you want to yell. Just yell, please. It’ll make you feel better, and you won’t be mad at me anymore, so please. Just yell. I messed up. I deserve it.”

Alexia was quiet for almost a full minute. It felt like a stab to the chest that you thought she had to yell in order to work through her feelings. That you were so convinced she was angry with you, disappointed in you. That you were willing to sit through a lecture because you felt so guilty for what you’d done. She hated it all; you weren’t to blame. You were doing your best. She could see that, everyone could see that, so why couldn’t you?

It was as if you thought of yourself as a bad person for having an eating disorder. As if every relapse, every action you’d taken in the haze of your illness, made you a bad person. Being sick didn’t make you bad, and your sister ached to make you see that.

“Tell me something. After you make yourself throw up, what do you feel? What goes through your head?”

The question felt like it came from nowhere, the confusion you felt putting a stop to your tears. Instead, you breathed deeply for a minute, thinking. Hearing her say it made your stomach drop. You didn’t like to name it in your head. It was just… something you did, and if it remained unnamed, it wouldn’t matter.

But it did matter, and even though she was supposed to be mad, Alexia was rubbing your back like you mattered, and it was all so confusing that you just found yourself answering.

“Awful. Ashamed and embarrassed and disgusted. Guilty. I hate myself after I do it. It feels like the world is ending because I have to start over, like all the progress I’ve made was for nothing.”

“Does it make you feel like a bad person?”

At this, you jolted away from Alexia, staring at her with wide eyes. What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“I guess. I… I know I’m doing something wrong, something I shouldn’t be doing. I know I’m hurting my body and I know I’m hurting the team and my career. I’m doing something wrong and that makes me feel like I’m bad.” You admitted. Completely unsure where that confession had come from, you stared at your sister as you waited for her reply, as if you were shocked by your statement. She didn’t seem to be.

“It is wrong because it is unhealthy. It is wrong because you are hurting yourself. But… doing something ‘wrong’ doesn’t make you bad. You aren’t a bad person for being sick, you aren’t a bad person for relapsing. You’re doing your best, nena. You are trying. And even if you weren’t, that wouldn’t make you bad.”

You didn’t fully believe her, and Alexia could tell. This wasn’t something she could fix with a few words, though, and she knew that. Tomorrow, she’d make sure you talked to Lucia about this, but for now, she was content knowing that you weren’t crying anymore, and you looked significantly less distressed.

“You’re really not mad? Or disappointed?”

Alexia swallowed the lump in her throat at your question. “I’m really not. I’ve done my research, I’ve talked to your doctor, I knew to expect this, nena. It’s okay, it’s part of getting better. It can’t all be perfect, it won’t all be perfect. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to try, and I’ll be proud of you. I am proud of you.”

You wondered how Alexia had gone from a disaster that could barely put a sentence together without saying the wrong thing to this; saying exactly what you needed to hear from her and more. Likely, it was a combination of Olga, the research you know she’d stayed up late doing, and sheer determination to help you the best she could.

“I know this is hard in a lot of ways,” Alexia continued. “But you can talk to me. Always. Without worrying that I’ll be mad or upset. I promise you, pequeña, you can tell me anything. I’m here to help you.”

“I just hate talking about this.” You admitted. “I don’t like being vulnerable.”

“I know you don’t. You never have.” Alexia chuckled, thinking about how Eli used to have a jar set on the kitchen counter called the feeling’s jar. If you were upset about something, you were supposed to tell your Mami or your sisters about it, but that almost never happened. Instead, Eli gave you the option to write the feeling down and put it in the jar for someone to read later, when you weren’t in the room. It was the best any of them could do to understand what was going through your head, even as a child. “Would it make it better if I was vulnerable too? If I talk about something hard with you?”

You laughed, thinking she was joking, but when you glanced at her, she was completely serious, earnestly staring at you.

“Maybe.” You said suspiciously, highly doubtful that Alexia was about to tell you anything that really mattered to her. If you were stubborn about your feelings, it was because Ale was too.

Alexia just nodded, almost solemnly, fixing her attention on the ceiling above you both before she began speaking. “This season… this season has been harder. It’s always been hard switching off from football and taking a break when I need to, but it’s like… I have all this stuff outside of football that deserves my attention too. And it’s even harder now.”

“Other stuff… being Olga?”

Your sister nodded, blushing just slightly. “I need to spend less time doing extra training and watching film and obsessing over strategies. I just… I can’t. I can’t do it. I have to train every day. I have to do the most that I can.”

“Or what?”

“Or… I don’t know. I’d feel bad. I’d fail the team. But if I don’t find a better balance…” Alexia paused, taking a deep breath. You could have cried, again, from how much you appreciated her in that moment. Telling you things you knew she struggled to share, so you’d feel less alone. “Olga is always on me about self care, and I’m worried I’ll lose her if I don’t figure out how to take breaks and leave football behind when I come home, at least a little. And I really, really don’t want to lose her.”

You thought hard, knowing that Alexia deserved the absolute best advice you could give her, even if she wasn’t explicitly asking for it.

“I don’t think you’re going to lose her, Ale. But I think she deserves better than being second best to your job until you retire. It’s like you said, you need a balance. Sometimes, football is going to come first. That’s just part of the job. But you also have to make sure she comes first too, sometimes. Even if you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable, like miss an extra training session or not watch all the available film you can get your hands on.”

By the time you stopped talking and looked at your sister, she looked almost stunned, as though she wasn’t expecting you to have anything very helpful to say.

“When did you get good at giving relationship advice?” She asked. “The last time I asked you for advice like this you told me to spray paint I love you on Jenni’s car as an apology.”

You laughed. “That was like… 10 years ago, Ale. I’ve grown up.”

“You really have.” Your sister got a rather pensive look on her face, as if she was just seeing for the first time that you were no longer a little kid. In effort to avoid any further sappiness, you voiced the idea that had popped into your head a few minutes ago.

“Didn��t Olga say she doesn’t have much work to do tomorrow? You should take her to lunch.”

“We have training.” Alexia said automatically.

You rolled your eyes. “I know. Skip. It’s a gym session and film that you’ve probably already watched. Skip it and take your girlfriend out. No one will care.”

It was clear that the idea made Alexia uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. Her posture had become stiff and her hands were clenched almost as tightly as her jaw was.

But she thought about the last time she’d done something spontaneous for Olga, and the way the brunette's face had lit up. It had just been flowers picked up on the way home from training, but it had clearly meant a lot to her. Alexia wanted to see that look on Olga’s face again. Soon.

“Okay.” She agreed hesitantly. “How do I skip? Is it like school? Should I lie and say I’m sick?”

You laughed again, but Alexia joined in this time. “No, tonta. Just say you have a personal commitment. It’s not like anyone is going to ask questions.”

“Mmm. Well, you’re coming with us.”

You looked at her like she was stupid. “No I’m not. That would ruin the romantic date with your girlfriend.”

Alexia frowned, trying to think of a way she could make you a part of this too. A way she could make you want to try because she was trying. “Fine, but I’m bringing you back lunch, okay?”

Suddenly, you looked just as uncomfortable as your sister had, but you agreed nonetheless. You couldn’t not try if Alexia was trying. And you both knew that what you had to do was harder than what she had to do. It wasn’t really about that, though. It was about your sister understanding how difficult this process was, and telling you that you didn’t have to be perfect, just like she wasn’t.

Recovery wasn’t perfect. Existing wasn’t perfect. It was about trying. It was about knowing there needed to be a change, and doing your best to make one.

Trying your best didn’t have to be perfect, or without fault. Alexia almost threw herself into a panic attack the next day when she remembered she was missing a captains meeting, but Olga had calmed her down and Irene had promised to send her copious notes.

The look on Olga’s face had made it all feel worth it when Alexia had asked her of the plan you’d come up with.

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?” Alexia had asked casually, as her and Olga stood side by side at the stove, cooking dinner.

“After training?” Olga had wondered, confused.

“No. No training tomorrow, I’m taking the day off.”

It was very worth it when Olga practically dropped the wooden spoon she was holding and launched herself at Alexia, wrapping the taller woman in a tight hug. It was so, so worth it when Olga whispered a soft I’m proud of you in Alexia’s ear.

It wasn’t easy when you tried to eat lunch the next day. It wasn’t easy when you were done, and when you cried into your sister’s shoulder, when all you wanted to do was get rid of it.

But it was worth it later, when Alexia told you how proud she was of you, and you knew she meant it. You believed her. The next day, when Lucia told you she thought you were making good progress. Every step forward wasn’t without some faltering, but you moved forward anyway.

You moved through recovery. Forwards and backwards. Mostly forwards. Returning to training, to matches, to doing what you loved. To feeling like yourself again.

It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t perfect, but change was worth it. Getting better was worth it.

—

didn't plan on finishing this and getting it out tonight but it was flowing really well and i... think... i'm... happy... with.... it??? anyway! thanks for reading <3

#woso imagine #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #putellas!reader #platonic reader #alexia putellas x platonic reader

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guillotine-drop · 8 months

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Ranking New Vegas companions by their alcohol tolerance

Arcade - 6/10: Hear me out, Arcade is a fairly big guy and between his genetics and the work he does, he’s bound to have some weight behind him. Do I think he’s going toe to toe with the average Wrangler patron? No, but I do think you could sit him down with a bottle of wine and by the end he’d be juuuuust tipsy enough to follow you into that Nightstalker cave with minimal complaints.

Boone - 4/10: Despite being a miserable boot boy with a dead wife, I think Boone is on the lower end of alcohol tolerance solely because he’s a sniper; I feel as though the job description means that you can’t exactly be swaying with your shots, so his tolerance would be piss poor. You could probably get him to drink a 12 pack with you, but just watch out: he might start showing a human emotion, and that’ll be uncomfortable for both of you.

Cass - 8/10: There’s something to be said about the fact that you need at least 8 Endurance to be able to beat her at the drinking contest to recruit her. Obviously she can hold her liquor, but I WILL dock points for being sloppy about it. (Girl how did you manage to wake up with a random soldier after the battle??? Don’t you know what your mailman looks like???) Share the whiskey but make sure you loop her belt around a pipe or something so she doesn’t run off.

Veronica - 3/10: I love Veronica. I love her so much. I don’t think she can hold her liquor to save her life. I think Ronnie is a ‘3 drinks and she’s out’ kind of girl. That being said, I also think that she could probably get through most of a box of hard seltzers before she starts feeling it, and I think she’d shotgun them with her Power Fist to be funny.

Raul - 10/10: He’s a ghoul, he’s old, and he’s miserable 95% of the time. I think if you handed him a bottle of Dubious Liquid he wouldn’t even hesitate to drink it. I think he’s drank rubbing alcohol just to see what would happen. I think if you give him a totally intact, unopened, top shelf bottle of tequila, he’d have to excuse himself to the other room for a minute. Definitely the one I’d want to go drinking with.

Lily - 15/10: Mamaw’s 7 feet tall and 500 pounds of sheer muscle with a super mutant metabolism, I don’t even think conventional liquor would affect her tbh. I think she’s drinking that Jacobstown Moonshine that melts spoons and eats through glass. I think she could drink a can of turpentine and it would be like a White Claw. Go grandma, but for the love of god not to the bar. I do NOT have the caps for that.

Rex - 6/10: Okay hear me out (again). He’s an old as hell cyber dog who went through multiple owners, he’s probably got more metal than organs, and the last guys who had him were Elvis impersonators who do fuckall all day but day drink and watch each other do cabaret. You look me in the face and tell me that dog hasn’t had more booze pass through his system than the average wastelander. It’s still only a 6/10 because he shouldn’t be getting it, but are you gonna tell him no? Look at that face. And lower your glass.

ED-E - 0/10: Please do not pour liquor into the orb.

#yeah dude #fallout #fnv #new vegas #arcade gannon #craig boone #rose of sharon cassidy #veronica santangelo #raul tejada #lily bowen #rex fallout new vegas #ed e

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eddiernunson · 6 months

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I Can Do it With a Broken Heart | Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader | 18+ | PREVIEW

NOW POSTED

Summary: You and Eddie have both had crap luck on dates lately, nothing that can't be fixed with a strawberry milkshake. However, he gets asked out on a date and it goes well...until it turns your life on its head and he forgets how to pick up the phone. You don't even care that he's dating someone else you just want your best friend back.

Warnings: idiots in love, best friends to lovers, ANGST, brief EddiexChrissy, ooc Chrissy, attempted SA, bestfriend!Steve, and needy, desperate smut that makes it all worth it.

Excerpt here:

The puff of smoke that leaves his lips as you approach him should not be this gorgeous, it’s practically unfair. “Hey, Eds.”

He dusts the filter, killing it on the cement table he sits at as he blows out one more puff. “Hey, sweetheart.”

Just from that particular look in his eye, you can tell something is on his mind. “You okay, there, Munson?”

He smirks, effortlessly standing up. “I suppose. I’m not sure how to react. Or how you’ll react.”

Your brows meet your hairline, watching his mind move at a million miles per hour. “Ok, Eddie this better be about a new class of creatures in DnD, or something, because you’re scaring me.”

He smiles, nodding his head over to the halls that lead toward the front door of the campus. “Someone asked me out on a date, earlier, today.”

Your brows furrow, biting back the jealousy that eats at your chest. Every little part of you holds back the monster that threatens to class its way out, to snarl and hiss at every girl that even so much as looks at him wrong. It’s hard to bite it back, to choke on it purposely, but if you must, you will.

It tastes like venom as you swallow it back down. “Oh, who?”

A faint pink spreads across Eddie’s cheeks, much to your dismay. Not once, in your fuck, what, seven, eight years, of friendship have you ever managed to see Eddie blush. (Just once but it was when you nearly walked in on him jerking himself off a few short years ago.) “Who?”

“Um Chrissy. Chrissy Cunningham?”

Your jaw drops, but your gut falls through the floor. You swear you hear it smash through the tilted floors and fall into the depths of hell.

“She asked you out?”

“Hey! Don’t act so surprised! A cheerleader could like me!”

That was the last thing on your mind. Of course a cheerleader could like Eddie, they’d be stupid not to. No. Every other girl that Eddie has either slept with, or gone on a date with brought no worry to your head, competition, per say. But a sweet girl like Chrissy, one that bore pretty blonde curls, a sweet smile and a sweet disposition, this is like your worst nightmare come true.

Thanks to the notion of living in a small town, you could recall 99% of the names that Eddie had told you, whether they be hookups or a date. Most of them didn’t intimidate you, only because, selfishly, you could nitpick at things you think wouldn’t work out with Eddie. Whether they were too vapid, too shallow, had none of the same interests as him, only shallowly liked him for his looks, or was a bully…you had something to give great comfort to you to prevent that little jealousy monster from clawing its way out.

This time, your brain wracked itself for some sort of answer. Some sort of flaw in the Queen of Hawkins High that could settle this uneasiness that has taken over your mind. Nothing. Nothing.

“I’m not surprised a cheerleader could like you, I’m surprised that Chrissy Cunningham asked you out,” you answer candidly, watching in step with him to where you supposed was his van. “I’m guessing you said yes?”

“I’d be crazy not to!” Eddie answered sheepishly, tugging at the sleeves of his leather jacket. “I’m taking her out on Friday night.”

“Ah, you’ll tell Steve to take Creeper off hold for us, then?”

Eddie stops mid stride, faltering, his brows pinched as he gives you those big brown eyes. “Shit. It totally slipped my mind.”

This is also new. Even as his dates would happen any previously made plans with him were always a priority. You just hope this isn’t a new habit of his.

“We’ll do it on Saturday, yeah?”

You nod, giving him the comfort you suddenly find yourself craving. From the pep in his step, the rosiness of his cheeks, the warm glint in his eyes, you can tell that he’s truly excited. As a best friend, you tried to be happy for him, however hard it is to make the smile on your face even remotely convincing.

Eddie curls his arm around your shoulder, tugging you along with him for what is probably another afternoon in his room, clouded by a haze of weed.

You smoked more than usual, if anything to allow his excitement and plans for his big date in two days to buzz into the background, the bong rippling through your lungs as a punishment for yourself.

Final word count is about 24k so I think I'll post on the 15 to give my editor a fighting chance. If you want to be tagged let me know <3

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader smut

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bbyleiah · 3 months

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CARNAL - CHOSO KAMO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ In which Choso is dating the reader’s best-friend but is secretly in love with the reader and blinded with an insatiable lust for her. What happens when he can no longer hold back his cravings for her? ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

cw: black fem sub!reader, switch!choso, cheating, dry humping (he humps the reader’s hand in a movie theater), drooling, oral sex (f!receiving), pleasure dom!choso, praise kink (choso loves praise), biting, lots of fluids, fingering, missionary position, choking, overstimulation, desperate choso, whiny choso, choso begs a lot, sexually frustrated choso, obsessed choso, unprotected sex, creampie, lots of dirty talk, marking, etc.

word count : no clue honestly 😭.

sn : I wrote this based on a movie I watched that inspired me 😭. I don’t condone cheating but it’s fun to write about sometimes 🫣.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑⊱••⭑

“What if he’s asexual?” Your bestfriend; Jayla wondered as she laid out on your bed while you got dressed. “He could be. Or maybe sex just isn’t on his mind.” You hummed as you put on a red Ed Hardy sweat set that was cute but simple. She tutted in disbelief, “Girl be serious. He’s a man. Of course sex is on his mind.” She said assuredly. “Well maybe he’s just shy then. You know how he is.” You laughed.

“How long can a person be shy for though? It’s been three months and he hasn’t even kissed me fully yet. I feel like we’re in some kind of kindergarten relationship.” She groaned in exaggerated despair. “That is a little questionable..but give him time. He could be waiting for the right moment, you know? Maybe he’s a traditional romantic.” You tried your best to ease her worries.

She sighed, “We’ll see. I don’t want to seem like I’m desperate though but I just hate feeling unwanted by my own boyfriend.” She pouted. “Awh, I get it. I’m sure Choso doesn’t want you to feel that way. Just talk to him about it, okay?” You comforted her with a hug. “I will. After the movie.” She huffed softly and as if on cue Choso pulled up. The three of you were going to see a movie together that Jayla had been raving about.

You were used to being their third wheel so you didn’t mind it. You met Choso through Jayla and the two of you naturally became acquainted. You considered him a good friend and he treated Jayla well mostly so you approved of him. “You two almost ready?” He asked as he walked in and stood at your bedroom door. Jayla immediately threw herself on him, peppering his face in kisses and telling him how much she missed him.

“Yuck. Don’t taint my room with that mushy shit.” You commented with faux distaste as you laughed. “Haterr. Go get you a man.” Jayla teased and you flipped her off. “I don’t need a man boo, I’m cool where I’m at.” You laughed honestly as you applied your usual brown lip liner and lip gloss combo. “Hey Cho~” you greeted him with a hug once you were ready to go. “Hey (✰)” he greeted back politely, as the two of you hugged.

Choso couldn’t help the way his eyes fluttered slightly as he inhaled your sweet scent. A sigh itching to release from his chest at the way you patted the back of his head the way you always did whenever the two of you hugged. He knew that he shouldn’t be this affected by you, especially over a hug that was less than a second long. But it seemed Choso always lost a bit of his composure whenever he was near you.

You were completely unaware of the impact your presence had on Choso. Simply viewing him as your bestfriend’s boyfriend and a decent guy that you were around often. You sat in the backseat, tuning out Jayla and Choso’s couple talk on the ride to the theater. “Sis, I was thinking that maybe me and Cho could sit separately from you?” Jayla suddenly suggested once you guy’s arrived at the theater.

It caught you off guard for a second until you saw the mischievous look in her eye and realized her plan. “Ohh, that’s cool with me. I don’t need you two ruining my movie experience anyways.” You shrugged with a laugh. “Wait, why would we sit separately?” Choso cut in, clearly oblivious. You and Jayla glanced at each other knowingly. “Because babe, don’t you want a little privacy?” She attempted to hint and convince him.

“That’s rude to (✰) though. Otherwise we shouldn’t have brought her along. She can sit with us.” He expressed, seemingly trying to stick up for you. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine on my ow-“ you attempted to reassure him but Choso cut in again. “No. You’re sitting with us.” He stated, leaving no room for objections as he got out of the car. You were dumbfounded and Jayla was fuming.

“Well..sorry honey. But I mean you can still get your freak on..I’ll just act like I’m not there.” You told her, feeling awkward now. “Ugh, he’s so stupid.” was all Jayla grumbled as she got out of the car with you following after her. You tried to ignore the tension floating around now as you guys got seated in the theater. Choso sat in the middle while you and Jayla sat on each side of him. The movie started with no words exchanged between the three of you.

You just focused on the movie and munched on popcorn quietly while paying no mind to the tense couple next to you. About 40 or so minutes into the movie while you were intently watching the film, Jayla was busy trying to make her move once again. She was easing her hand up Choso’s thigh, trying to get him hard as her hand trailed over his crotch. Choso tensed, uncomfortable and far from turned on.

He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but he also didn’t want to be touched by her. “Stop babe.” He whispered as he physically moved her hand off him. Jayla was embarrassed now and fed up, tears filling her eyes. “Fuck you choso.” She muttered as she got up and stormed out of the theater. That’s when you finally pulled your attention away from the huge screen to gather what occurred next to you. “What happened? Is Jay okay?” You asked Choso, concerned about your bestfriend.

Choso couldn’t focus much on your question, too distracted by the way your breath tingled against his earlobe as you whispered to him. “She’s alright..just a little upset right now. I’ll check on her later.” He muttered once he gathered his thoughts, although you found it a little odd that he didn’t seem as concerned as you were. “Are you two good? It seems the two of you haven’t been on the same page lately..” you knew that bringing this up during a movie probably wasn’t the best choice but you had to know his perspective.

He sighed, “My mind’s just been a little off lately. I’m working on it though so I can be better for Jayla.” He half told the truth and half lied. “You know you can talk to me about whatever’s been on your mind..if you don’t feel comfortable talking with Jayla.” You offered, innocently and just out of kindness. Choso couldn’t possibly tell you that the thing that’s been harboring his mind was you. He thought about you way more than he should and it made him feel terrible but you were ingrained in his head. Everything about you.

“I don’t know if I can tell you either though…even if I wanted to.” He whispered as he looked into your eyes. The lights illuminating from the theater screen making him appear in flashes of bright lights and darkness. Even if you couldn’t see him clearly, you could feel the hardness of his stare and the way it left goosebumps on your skin because of the words and emotions hidden within his usually dead eyes.

“I’m a safe space Cho..you can trust me..” you said softly as your hand moved to grab his in a comforting manner. You didn’t know what was going on with Choso but you knew how much Jayla loved him so you wanted to be there for him for her sake. Choso felt something inside him awaken at the feel of your skin on his. He wanted so so badly to kiss your hand all the way up to those pretty glossed up lips of yours. Wanted to see the way the gloss would smear and make you look a mess with his spit coating your lips after he shoved his tongue down your throat.

He could just imagine the way you’d whine into his mouth and grow breathless with each kiss he gave you. If he could he would shove his fingers into your cunt right in the middle of this theater. Knowing how pretty you’d look squirming and trying to hold back those heavenly moans. Unable to quiet the faint squelching of your wet cunt squeezing his thick fingers. The lewd sound being drowned out by the booming speakers within the enclosed theater.

Choso snapped out of his perverted fantasy when you gave his hand a light squeeze. “Cho sweetie, are you okay?” You asked, now feeling concerned for him as well. Choso nodded, a blush creeping up his neck once realizing how hard he was in his black baggy jeans. His cock was throbbing over a simple hand hold and his own imagination. He was pathetic. “You look a little sick though honey..” you frowned as you placed your hand on his forehead and on the sides of his face and neck, checking his temperature.

Choso had to hold back a groan at the physical attention you were giving him. Biting down on his bottom lip as he soaked up the bare minimal touch you were providing him. He loved feeling your flesh against his. He craved it. To him, it was better than any drug. You started to pull your hand away but choso grabbed it with a startling bruising grip. “D-Don’t stop..your touch is nice..” he breathed out as he looked at you with lidded eyes.

“Choso..maybe I should take you to a hospital..” you muttered, worried but also slightly freaked out. You had never seen Choso like this before. He seemed so stirred up when he was usually composed and level headed. “I don’t need a hospital. I’m fine, I just..” he didn’t know how to explain himself he just knew he wanted you to touch him. “Touch me. Please.”

You were stunned at his words, eyes wide and feeling like your ears were playing tricks on you. You were too busy processing his begging to register him moving your hand onto his crotch. The gasp you let out was immediate as Choso began rutting up into your palm. “Fuck..” he groaned under his breath as he melted under your touch. He slumped into the theater seat, eyes fluttering closed as he humped your hand like an animal in heat.

He didn’t have a strong hold on your hand so you could’ve easily removed it and stopped him but it seemed your body and brain weren’t in sync at the moment. You just watched, enamored as choso pathetically used your hand to get off. You could feel the way his cock throbbed and jumped under your palm. He was so hard and turned on and you didn’t have a clue as to why. “Feels good..” he whined into your neck as he buried his face into it, his head resting on your shoulder.

Perspiration began to coat your skin as choso panted against your neck while his hips continuously rocked against your pliant hand. You felt the urge to squeeze his cock, wanting to feel just how heavy and swollen it was. But the rational side of you knew it was wrong. That this whole situation was bad and shouldn’t be happening at all. It was hard to think straight though with choso whining and grunting into your ear, drool starting to dribble from his mouth and down your neck.

“C-Choso..we’re in public..” you managed to finally speak in a breathy whisper. Although it was disconcerting that those were first words to leave your mouth instead of more pressing issues like how choso was fucking your hand while your bestfriend was away who happened to be his girlfriend. “I know..j-just let me finish, please.” He whined as he pressed your hand down harder to add more friction. “Jayla will be back soon..” you reminded him, worry filling you again as you did a quick glance around for her.

Choso did not give a shit about any of that at the moment though. His mind solely focused on the warmth and pressure of your hand against his clothed cock. He wished so badly that he could feel you skin to skin but even he knew that it would be crossing a line that he wouldn’t be able to come back from. You tensed up this time once feeling Choso’s tongue lick up the side of your neck all the way up to your ear. You hated the way your cunt pulsed at the feeling, your thighs rubbing together instinctively.

Despite your mostly calm composure, you were getting turned on by this whole situation. It was hard not to be when Choso was acting so erotic and feral. You could feel the way your panties began to stick to your folds as you grew wet while choso pleasured himself to the feel of you against him. You were barely even touching him but with how he was acting you’d think you were actually fucking him. “want you so fucking badly..need you ngh.” He muttered against you as he moaned.

Against your better judgement and earlier restraint, you began to help him chase his orgasm. Your hand moving to stroke and squeeze his cock. It was worth it just to hear the way he fell apart and moaned your name. “Oh fuck, just like that. ah- you’re so fucking perfect. You’re the only one that gets me like this uhn-“ he rambled in between moans and whines. You could tell he was close by the way his breath quickened and how he began to thrust harder into your palm.

“Choso..” you began to utter his name and as soon as you did he came. That was all it took for him to spill ropes of thick cum into his pants. He bit down on your neck as he came to hold back his loud moan. You couldn’t fight the whimper you let out at the quick painful sting. He pulled back after he calmed down, sighing in content as he slouched in his seat again. His teeth marks left imprinted in your skin.

You didn’t know if it was good luck or karma having a sense of humor because Jayla came back right after. “We’re leaving. I’m done with this shit.” She said to you and choso. Choso was still out of it, seemingly dazed. An outsider would think he was high off something. Not knowing that something was you. You instantly snapped back into reality once hearing Jayla’s voice and seeing the state she was in. It was obvious she’d been crying with how red and puffy her eyes were.

“Uh Cho, I’ll walk to the car with Jay..you should get yourself together..” you told him. He just nodded in response. Jayla glared at him, hating his nonchalant attitude even though she knew that he knew she was upset. Choso was unbothered by her glare, his attention still focused on you as he licked his lips. You ignored his stare and began to walk out with Jayla huffing angrily beside you.

“I hate him. I’m tired of being the only one trying in this relationship. Am I just not attractive to him?” She asked you with tears in her eyes again. This time you didn’t have much of an answer for her. Especially after what just happened between you and choso. It played on a loop in your mind like a broken record. You discreetly tried to use your jacket to hide the bite mark on your neck. “Sis..I don’t know. He could be abstinent..?” You attempted to give her answers.

“Look, just focus on the romance aspect of your relationship for now. I’m sure sex will come eventually.” You reassured her with more confidence behind your words this time. She sighed, “I guess..it’s still embarrassing though that I tried to touch him in the theater and he told me to stop.” She frowned as the two of you got into the car. You remained silent, not having much of a response to that.

But you convinced yourself that it all made sense, that maybe that’s why choso was so turned on — because of Jayla. Not because of you. Your denial was very short lived though because your phone buzzed with a message from choso.

Cho-Cho 🚂 : 1 attachment

The notification had your heart feeling like it stopped beating for a moment. You were holding your breath as you opened it. You were deeply unprepared for the image that awaited you. Choso had sent you a picture of the mess he made in his pants. The cum soaked through his briefs and ran down his pants leg. The globs of cum stuck to his cock that was somehow still half hard. You immediately closed the message, shutting off your phone screen.

Choso knew you weren’t going to respond to his text but he still couldn’t help the disappointment that filled him when he saw that you left him on read. He cleaned himself up in the restroom before he joined the two of you in the car and began to drive. The car suddenly felt impossibly more stuffy when Choso got in. The heavy silence and tension was almost suffocating. Your mind was scrambled with how to handle this newfound situation.

A part of you cursed Choso for putting you in this predicament that could cost you to lose your bestfriend. Another part of you couldn’t fight the lingering arousal that wouldn’t leave your body. Your mind consumed with the way Choso turned into putty under your touch. You also had so many questions as to why Choso couldn’t get off with Jayla when his dick clearly wasn’t broken. Your string of thoughts came to a halt when Jayla broke the deafening silence in the car.

“Take me to my house. I’m not staying with you tonight.” She told Choso. He only hummed in response to her and with you knowing Jayla well, you knew that only made her more upset. “You’re not even going to apologize? Ask if I’m okay? Nothing?” She called him out. “M’tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?” He finally spoke with a bored lazy tone. Jayla scoffed, “This is some bullshit.” she muttered while shaking her head in disbelief.

It wasn’t much longer until the car came to a stop in front of Jayla’s house, even though the tension made the drive feel longer. Jayla shot one last glare at Choso and turned to you uttering a ‘kill him for me.’ before she got out of the car. She slammed the door, the sound making you cringe a little. You frowned watching her walk angrily into her home, feeling sympathetic but also guilty. “Come sit in the front.” Choso’s voice had your attention instantly on him.

His stare was intense on you and he seemingly appeared more relaxed than he had been when Jayla was in the car. “Uhm..I don’t think that’s a good idea. Speaking of which Cho, what happened earlier shouldn’t have happened and you should really apologize to Jay..if you’re feeling sexually frustrated? Or something..you should figure that out with her..” you struggled to find the right words. It was too awkward and you were still processing everything.

“I’m not sexually frustrated. Even if I was, the cause would be you. Not Jayla.” He said honestly and shock filled you again. “Don’t say that..” you muttered. “It’s the truth. Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?. I can’t fuck Jayla because all I think about is you.” He admitted. You were at a loss for words and he took your silence as his cue to keep talking. “Just your presence alone drives me crazy. The things I’d do to you if gave me the chance..fuck it’s all I think about.”

“How fuckin’ pretty you are and how pretty I know your pussy is too, how wet you could get for me, how good you’d feel pressed against me, and how sweet your moans would sound. I wanna feel your skin against mine so fucking badly. Feel like I’d die without it. Do you ever think of me like that?” He rambled and you could see the hope shining in his eyes as he awaited your response. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought about him in that way. until today, and now you felt conflicted.

You let out a breath before you spoke, “Choso…I shouldn’t think about you like that and you shouldn’t think about me like that either. You’re not mine.” You replied. You were trying your best to remain level headed and maintain boundaries despite the flutters in your chest and the ache between your legs. “I could be yours if you wanted me to be.” He said it with no hesitation, like his relationship with Jayla was the last thing on his mind.

Honestly, it was. He couldn’t think about anything other than you, especially when he was in your presence. He’d risk it all for you and that was becoming clearer to you the more he confessed. “I’d be so good for you. I’d do anything you’d ask of me.” He was bordering on begging now and you didn’t know how to react. You never had a man this desperate for you. It was foreign to you and it was especially jarring because it was the ever so stoic choso turning pathetic and subservient all for you.

While you were trying to gather up a proper response, Choso moved to get out of the car and climb into the backseat with you. “Wait-..what are you doing?” You asked him in confusion and slight shock. “Want to make you feel about me the way I do about you. Want you to sit on my face.” You didn’t know if your heart could handle any more of Choso’s unpredictable words and actions.

Your breath caught in your throat at his blunt request. “Don’t think about it…just let me show you how good I am, please?” He was whining now, his hands moving up your thighs. You couldn’t help the way your legs instinctively parted for him. His hands stopped at the band of your sweat pants, his eyes staring at you expectantly as he anxiously awaited your approval.

You knew you were going to regret this later but it was hard to say no to choso, especially when he was looking at you like that. “Lie back.” You breathed out. He instantly obeyed, lying down on the two backseats while you adjusted yourself to climb on top of him. It was a tight space but Choso didn’t seem to have any complaints, just eager to please you. You slid off your sweatpants and panties in one motion, tossing them aside.

Choso watched you with hungry eyes, panting softly as he grew excited and more eager by the second. A sliver of shame filled you at how wet you were already. Choso’s needy rambles spurred you on and now you intended to put his mouth to good use. You got comfortable as you hovered over his waiting mouth, shivers racking through you as his breath fanned against your slick cunt. He groaned as he breathed in the scent of your cunt, his eyes rolling a bit.

This was like his dream coming true. He already felt like he was in heaven and he hadn’t even tasted you yet. You bit down on your bottom lip as you lowered yourself down onto Choso’s face, cautious to not put all your weight on him. He didn’t waste a single second before dragging his tongue through your sodden folds. The two of you moaned in unison. He was hooked after that first taste, his arms moving to wrap around your legs as he held you down and began to eat your pussy like his life depended on it.

His tongue lapping sloppily at your cunt as he swallowed up all of your juices. Your hands tangled into his hair as you moaned and whined out, your hips rocking as you grinded down onto his tongue. “feels s’good cho” you whined as you continued to ride his face to your heart’s content. He loved the praise, feeling more eager to please you as he greedily ate you out. You were so wet, soaking the lower half of Choso’s face and his neck.

He couldn’t get enough of it, wanting to drown in your essence. He felt like he’d die a happy man suffocated between your legs. Your back arched and your legs closed tighter around his head as he began to suckle on your clit like it was his favorite hard candy. Swallowing up the sticky sap that gathered on the swollen nub. He moaned nonstop into your cunt, obsessed with the taste of you on his tongue. The vibrations of his moans causing your legs to tremble as you let out little whines and mewls.

“s-shit! choso s’too much” you cried out as Choso began to push his tongue into your little hole, fucking his tongue into you while you jerked and wailed. He tightened his grip on you to keep you still as his tongue explored your gummy walls. Tears filled your eyes at the immense pleasure. You were sensitive since you hadn’t had anyone touch you in a while and choso was turning your mind and body into mush. It seemed he knew exactly what to do to get you falling apart.

The fog in your brain got cleared up for a second when your phone began to ring. You whined and choso groaned in annoyance, slapping your thigh once you began to look for your phone. “Leave it.” He muttered into your cunt, his voice having more rasp to it than it did minutes ago. “J-Just let me check who it is…” you stuttered out in between moans. Reality hit you once seeing the caller was Jayla. You guessed she probably assumed you were home now and ranted to rant to you more.

“oh shit..” you breathed out. Guilt washed over you again as you realized the two of you were still parked outside of Jayla’s house while you were busy riding her boyfriend’s face. Choso nipped lightly at your clit, making you flinch and focus your attention back on him. His dark eyes were already looking up at you. “Ignore it.” He mumbled as he pulled away from your cunt to press wet kisses on your inner thighs.

“B-But..this is wrong choso..” you bit down on your lip as you began to contemplate everything. “Just stop thinking for right now. Worry about it later. I’m not stopping until you cum on my face princess.” He finally had you and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. You whined, conflicted but deciding that since you had already started then you might as well finish. “Never again after this, okay?” You said as your hips began to move again.

“Mhm.” was all he hummed in response. He was gonna make sure that this wasn’t the last time but he’d let you believe that it was. Choso slid one of his fingers into your cunt as he continued lapping up all your sweet fluids. The stimulation successfully making your brain shut off again as you got lost in the way Choso’s played with your body. He groaned at the way your pussy spurt out more fluids, adding another finger into your greedy cunt.

“You’re like a fucking fountain.” He moaned as he drank up your sweet essence that was now soaking his hand. His fingers curling inside you and making you squeal and cry out. “Cho! m’gonna-!” You whined out as you fucked yourself on Choso’s fingers and his tongue with vigor, chasing your approaching orgasm. “You better fucking cum for me. I want all of it. Make a mess out of me pretty girl.” He encouraged as he thrusted his fingers into you faster.

He sucked your clit into his mouth again, rolling his tongue around it and you felt as if your brain short-circuited. Mouth parting in a silent moan as you came hard, soaking Choso’s face and adding to the mess you already created. “That’s it. s’fucking good.” He moaned, mewling in delight as he slurped up as much of your release as he possibly could. His tongue licking between the crease of your thigh to your hip. He seemed as if he wanted to devour every inch of you.

You whined and climbed off of choso to get him to stop his incessant licking at your body. He had the stamina to keep going but you were getting overstimulated. Embarrassment filled you once seeing the state you left him in. His pretty signature ponytails all messed up and undone, his lips swollen and red, his face and neck soaked with your essence down to his shirt. He had the biggest grin on his face though, happy that he got what he wanted.

You were heavily relaxed now after having one of the best orgasms of your life. But even with the post orgasm haze over you, you still had some rationality left. “We’re gonna move on from this and act like it didn’t happen, okay?” You told him, still slightly breathless as you sat in his lap while he sat up. Choso pulled his shirt off since it was drenched now and your breath caught in your throat seeing his upper body.

He had various pretty intricate tattoos over his slightly chiseled form and a dark happy trail that had you practically drooling. “How can I move on and forget the best moment of my life?” He said as he grabbed your waist to pull you closer. “You’re being dramatic. You also have a girlfriend if you haven’t forgotten.” You reminded him but didn’t stop him as he began to leave kisses on your neck, his lips still slicked up with your cum.

“This is about us right now. shh.” He brushed off, purposefully ignoring the reminder of Jayla’s existence. “You’re a terrible -ah boyfriend, stop that!” You moaned when choso began to suck hickies onto your neck and you pulled at his hair to stop him. He whined at the sting of you pulling his hair. “Fine, I’ll stop. But can I get one kiss, please?” He pouted as he asked, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

You were in disbelief at how shameless he was. “You’re unbelievable. Are you always this needy and persistent?” You kept your grip on his hair to keep him in place. “Only for you.” He grinned with a wink. “Just one kiss and then I’ll take you home. Hm?” He tried to persuade you. So far you hadn’t put up much resistance to him or his advances and you’d already crossed too many lines to go back now.

“Fine, we’ve already gotten this far anyways.” You accepted as you let his hair go. Choso was ecstatic to finally get the chance to kiss you. He didn’t waste any more time as his hands moved to cup your face and his lips pressed against yours. To your surprise, the kiss was slow and way more intimate than you expected. He was taking his time and you didn’t have any complaints about it.

Choso was savoring the moment because he didn’t know if he’d get the chance to kiss you again after this. To him the world felt right with your plush lips molded perfectly against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss got progressively deeper, Choso pulling you flush against him and holding you tight as his tongue slid into your mouth.

His tongue tangled with yours and you let out soft moans into the kiss that made his head spin. Choso refused to break the kiss even though the two of you could barely breathe. Every time you even attempted to pull away he’d just kiss you harder, sucking on your tongue and licking into your mouth, hooked on the taste of you. All you could do was melt into the kiss, allowing Choso to kiss you as much as he wanted to.

He only pulled away once he was fully satisfied, leaving the two of you panting with a string of saliva connecting your lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He admitted softly into the comfortable silence within the car. “I can tell…it was nice..” you told him honestly and he smiled. He was content with knowing you enjoyed it as much as he did. “Let’s get going before Jay sees us and murders us both.” He joked but you didn’t laugh.

“Not funny. We both fucked up but let’s not talk about it right now.” You stated as you slid your sweatpants back on and handed choso his shirt. “Understandable.” He obliged and dropped the topic. “I’m never washing this shirt. I hope you know that.” He laughed but he was serious and your face scrunched up in disgust. “That’s nasty cho, ew. don’t do that.”

“It’s like a trophy to me now. I got you to cum on my face. My proudest moment, honestly.” He gloated with a smug smile. Embarrassment mixed in with your feelings of disgust as choso flaunted his tainted shirt. “J-Just shut up and drive.” You grumbled shyly. He cooed, “You’re adorable.” He chuckled and pecked your forehead before he climbed back into the driver’s seat. You moved to sit in the passenger seat as well and got settled as choso began to drive you home.

There was a comfortable silence on the drive there and you hugged him goodbye once he dropped you off. The events of the day hit you as you did your night routine. So many different emotions weighed on you but you decided to try and let the situation go and move on even with the heaviness that weighed on your heart.

The next few days it was hard to forget what happened though with Choso constantly texting you and calling you. You even considered blocking his number at one point because of how incessantly he contacted you. You never meant to intentionally avoid him but you felt like you had to when he constantly texted you about how much he wanted you, missed the taste of you, and missed feeling you pressed against him.

He even sent videos of him pleasuring himself while moaning your name, which you shamefully watched while also self indulging. But you knew Choso was ultimately off limits and you’d hoped that by ignoring him he’d eventually get over you. You learned that he was far from over you when he showed up while you were at Jayla’s house. According to Jayla the two of them made up and you were happy for them.

You hadn’t expected him to come over though. His eyes bore into you as he walked up to where you and Jayla sat on her couch. “Hi baby~” he said to Jayla as the two of them kissed and hugged. You suddenly felt really uncomfortable and awkward, especially since Choso didn’t look away from you for a second. “Hi choso.” You greeted him out of courtesy and to appear normal.

He raised a brow at you, surprised that you even spoke to him. He was also thrown off by the fact that you didn’t hug him like you usually did nor did you call him by his nickname you gave him. “Hi.” He replied bluntly, tone dry. Jayla glanced between the two of you, confused at the underlying tension. “Y’all good..?” She asked. You were quick to nod while Choso hummed a small ‘mhm.’

“I think I’m gonna give you two some privacy..I’ll go upstairs.” You announced as you stood up. “Oh sis you don’t have to-“ Jayla started but Choso cut her off. “Let her go.” He said and this was when you realized he was angry. His eyes holding a slight glare to them, shoulders stiff and posture straight, his tone of voice harsher than usual. Him being angry at you made you feel a pang in your heart but you ignored it.

You didn’t utter another word, quietly making your way upstairs to Jayla’s bedroom. You were regretting not actually leaving and going to your own house now, feeling uncomfortable with staying in Jayla’s house while Choso was there. You kept yourself entertained for a while though until someone came into the room. You perked up thinking it was Jayla, only to see Choso walking in.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” He cut right to the chase. “I had nothing to say to you. I told you to move on and forget about what happened.” You sighed. He scoffed, “You really thought I’d forget that night?. I haven’t been able to erase it from my mind. You don’t just fucking ride my face and then go ghost on me!” He snapped and you gasped, immediately rushing to slap your hand over his mouth.

“Are you fucking crazy?! Quiet down” you whisper yelled to him. “Also you’re the one that asked me to ride your face, lunatic. You knew that it wasn’t going to go further than that.” You huffed as you returned his glare. “So that’s it, huh?. It meant nothing to you?. It was that easy for you to forget it?” He questioned you and you hesitated to respond, chewing on your bottom lip.

“Forgetting is the right thing to do.” You answered after a moment of silence. “That’s not a good enough answer. I don’t give a shit about what’s right and you know that. I just want you, can’t you see that? Why won’t you give me a chance?” He pleaded and you frowned at the desperate look in his eyes. “Cho..I…” your words trailed off when Choso suddenly kissed you, making your eyes widen. “Wait-“ you said as you tried to push him away.

“No. You want me too, you just don’t want to admit it” he murmured against your lips as he kissed you again. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be letting me kiss you right now.” He pointed out as he looked into your eyes. You hated that he was right, no matter how much you tried to deny it. “Shut up.” You huffed softly before you kissed him this time. He let out a laugh into the kiss as he returned it.

The kiss escalated quickly as Choso slid his tongue into your mouth and as your fingers tangled into his hair. Choso sucked on your tongue and you let out a moan into the kiss, making him grip your hips tight and pull you closer. The kiss died just as quick as it began once you heard Jayla’s footsteps climbing up the stairs. “Shit.” You muttered as you pushed Choso away and hurriedly wiped your lipgloss residue off of his lips.

Choso was just staring at you smiling like an idiot. “Go! Before she comes in here.” You whisper yelled as you pushed at his chest. “Tell me I can come see you tonight. Then I’ll go.” He propositioned with a grin. You narrowed your eyes at him, “You just don’t quit, do you?” He shook his head in response. “Fine. You can come see me tonight.” You sighed and he silently cheered and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before he finally exited the room.

Jayla walked in afterwards. “You two solved whatever y’all got going on?” She asked you. Her question caught you off guard, “Uh yeah. We talked things out.” You hummed. “Great. I sent him up here because I’d rather not have my boyfriend and my bestfriend hating each other.” She laughed. “You got into it with him over how he treats me, didn’t you?” She questioned.

Guilt ate away at you at how oblivious Jayla was and at the reality of how much of a terrible friend you were. “Mhm! You told me to kill him for you so I ruined his night that day.” You lied with the best fake laugh you could muster. She seemed to believe you because she just grinned back at you, seemingly satisfied. “But sis, I do gotta admit something..” she suddenly lowered her voice and got serious as she moved closer to you.

You perked up, fully intrigued to know whatever secret she was going to confess to you. “What is it?” you whispered. “I cheated on Choso that night..” she revealed and you gasped in genuine shock, staring at her in disbelief. Despite the rifts in their relationship you never expected Jayla to go against her loyalty to Choso but it seemed that lately the unexpected kept coming.

“Really?!” You blurted out, unable to contain your shock. “Shh! yes really, I was too frustrated and craved to feel something. I was also angry as fuck so I was being reckless. I can’t say that I regret it but it won’t happen again. I think Choso is actually going to work to keep our relationship going.” She told you with a small sigh. You were silent, processing the newfound information. You felt the urge to tell her your own little secret but you knew your secret most likely wouldn’t go over so well.

“Does choso know?” You asked her. You doubted she told him but you were still curious. “Of course not. You think I’m crazy?. I’m not ruining my relationship. He’ll never know and I’m okay with that.” She shrugged. “Wow..well you know I won’t tell him. That’s between y’all two.” You reassured her and it was genuine. Even though you haven’t been the ideal bestfriend as of late, you still wouldn’t tell her secret.

She grinned and tackled you with a hug. “That’s why I love you bestie boo.” She mushed as she squeezed you and you laughed. For just this moment things felt as they did before you got entangled with Choso. It was nice and made your heart swell with nostalgia and happiness. But in the back of your mind you knew this feeling was temporary because Choso was still coming to see you later and that alone makes this moment feel bittersweet.

Once you were home all you could think about was Choso and everything that had happened in the past few days. As the hours ticked by you began to regret giving him permission to come see you. Even though part of you did want to see him, the other half felt it was best if you didn’t. The war in your mind got put on hold when you heard knocking at your door. You already knew who it was so you debated opening it for a brief moment.

“Come on baby, let me in.” Choso called out from the other side of the wooden door. The way he called you ‘baby’ affected you way more than it should’ve. The small pet name possessing you to walk over and open the door for him. “I’m not your baby.” You told him as you looked up at him. Your words contradicting to the beating of your heart and the way you actually felt.

“You can be though. Or would you prefer a different name?. There’s plenty of options. Honey, sweetie, love, babe, princess, sunshine, my pretty girl, my gorgeous girl, my girl. Mine. I could go on and on you know.” He rambled and even though it was a tad bit cheesy, it had you grinning. He smiled once seeing you smile. “You’re so fucking pretty, you know that don’t you?” He stated and you felt like he was buttering you up now but it was working.

“Just shut up and come in.” You laughed and he didn’t hesitate to oblige. His hand instantly moving to grasp you as he entered your home. He was touching you like it was instinctive for him. His hands caressing your sides and your back as he held you close with his face buried in your neck, breathing in your scent. “You gonna let me have what I want this time?” He murmured against your neck.

“Hm, I don’t know. What is it that you want exactly?” You were teasing him now. You knew exactly what he wanted but it was fun to see how desperate he could get. “You. I want you. All of you. If you’ll let me.” He said as he pulled away to look into your eyes, waiting for you to give him any signal to have access to you. You let out a soft exhale of breath as you gave him a small nod of your head.

You decided to just ignore your guilty conscience for now and enjoy the moment. Choso’s face instantly lit up and he grinned before kissing you deeply and picking you up. You didn’t think you’d ever get used to the way Choso kissed you. Every single time he kissed you as if he was trying to savor every press of your lips against his. He carried you up to your room and broke the kiss as he laid you down onto your bed.

“Fuck…I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He muttered as he stared down at you adoringly. His gaze making you feel shy. “Don’t just stare at me. Do something before I change my mind.” You huffed softly and he laughed. “If you think I’m going to rush this, you’re crazy.” He uttered while shaking his head as he ran his hands up your thighs until he gripped the waistband of your sleep shorts.

He pulled them down along with your panties, letting out a breath once seeing your cunt on display. “She’s so pretty.” He whispered, almost as if he was talking directly to your pussy and it had you flustered. A shiver coasted your body as he placed a soft kiss on your mound, spreading your lips with his fingers as he placed another kiss on your clit.

You knew he was taking his sweet time but you felt like he was teasing you as you grew more needy by the second. You let out a small whine and tried to shift your hips closer to him, hoping he’d catch the hint. Thankfully he did, sliding a finger into your eager hole. He groaned under his breath as he watched your wet cunt suck his finger in. “You’re so tight. When’s the last time this pretty pussy got some attention?”

“The other night, when you ate my pussy out.” You answered honestly with a moan as you pushed back onto Choso’s thick finger. “Cute. But that’s not what I meant baby.” He chuckled softly as he looked up at you. “I meant, when’s the last time this cute cunt was stuffed full, hm?” He reiterated as he pressed another soft kiss to your clit while he inserted a second finger into you.

You shrugged, “I-I don’t know..it’s been awhile..” you muttered shyly in slight embarrassment as you looked away from him. Your answer surprised him. Yeah, he hadn’t seen you with any guys in the time period he’s known you, but he thought you were way too pretty to not have guys practically kissing your feet. “so that’s why this needy cunt is swallowing my fingers like this. Poor princess is just hungry for some dick.” He cooed and you whined.

He spit onto your pussy and added a third finger as he continued giving your pussy the attention it deserved. His fingers thrusting into you at a fast pace as you mewled and squirmed, growing wetter and drenching Choso’s fingers. Choso was enamored with the sight of your cunt clinging to his fingers and the way it gushed every time he pushed in and out. The squelching sound music to his ears.

“feels s’good cho..” you whined and he reveled in the praise. He wanted to please you as much as possible just to keep hearing that. He began to suck on your clit as he curled his fingers inside you, making you gasp and grip your bedsheets. “you always taste so fucking good” he groaned and couldn’t help but to start lapping up the sweet tangy nectar that poured from your cunt incessantly. He was so messy as he slurped and drooled onto your wet cunt, his tongue working in tandem with his fingers.

You were obsessed with the way choso ate you out as if he couldn’t get enough of you. He was by far the best head you’d ever received and you were addicted to his mouth now. “I want you to cum and make a mess out of me, can you do that for me baby?” he asked as he looked up at you, pulling away from your cunt and licking his lips. You nodded quickly in response and moved to eagerly grab at his hair to pull his face back where you needed him most.

Choso chuckled at how needy you were being, pride filling him because he was the cause of it. Choso focused his attention on your throbbing clit as his fingers dug deep into you, caressing your slick walls that pulsed and creamed on his hand. “mmpfh- fuck..” you moaned, biting down on your bottom lip as you tugged at Choso’s hair and rocked against his face; getting lost in the pleasure he was giving you.

Choso knew he found the spot he’d been looking for when your back arched and you let out a sob of his name. “Is that it baby?. this spot right here?” He spoke in a teasing manner as he began to drive his fingers precisely into that spot that had your eyes rolling back. “m’gonna..” you whimpered as you trembled and began to fall apart. Choso urged you on with sweet praises of ‘that’s it baby’ ‘so pretty for me’ ‘keep making a mess for me’ as he dragged out your orgasm.

He drank up your creamy release as he pulled his fingers out, groaning into your cunt at the taste of you as your essence coated his palate. He only pulled away once you began to push at his head in sensitivity. His mouth detaching from your soaked cunt with a wet smack sound. “always so sensitive and responsive. I love that about you so much.” He cooed as he trailed kisses up your stomach, pulling off your shirt as he did.

He took a moment to just admire the sight of you completely bare underneath him. He took notice of every mole, stretch mark, faint scars, and embellishments on your skin. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen..” he breathed out in complete awe. You felt like your heart skipped a beat at hearing such a big compliment and you grew shy under his intense stares. “Oh hush…you’re just saying that because you’re horny..” you brushed him off.

He was quick to shake his head. “No. I really mean it. I’ve always thought so. I just never had the opportunity to tell you. You’re like my dream girl.” He expressed wholeheartedly as he looked into your eyes. You were at a loss for words, the gravity of his words hitting you and making you see Choso in a new light. Suddenly all his recent actions made sense, as you thought back on all the times in the past that he went out of his way for you.

All those times he also bought you a Valentine’s Day gift along with Jayla’s with the excuse that he ‘didn’t want you to feel left out’. The times that he buy you snacks and give you massages when you were on your period. The moments when he’d randomly text you and ask how your day was and if you had eaten. The rare times when you’d talk about something you wanted for the longest and think no one paid attention only for him to get it for you on your birthday. You were now wondering how you missed all the signs.

Without thinking anymore about it you grabbed Choso’s face and kissed him, pouring all the words you couldn’t say into the deep intimate kiss. He was grinning when the two of you broke the kiss. “So are you gonna fuck me or what? I know you didn’t come over here just to stare at me.” You joked and he laughed. “Yes ma’am.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He lived to appease you. He stripped himself down until he was bare and could feel your skin soft against his.

It was your turn to admire him and all his beauty. Your hands gently roamed his body as you analyzed all his tattoos and adornments on his skin. Choso loved all the attention you were giving him, not interrupting it at all so that he could savor it longer. He felt shivers coast his body the moment you wrapped your hand around his dick. “s’fat…” you muttered as you squeezed his dick, watching as precum dripped from the tip.

Your hand couldn’t fully fit around his cock due to how fat and heavy it was. He wasn’t the biggest but his girth made up for it. Choso grabbed your ankles and lifted your legs up, spreading you to his liking. He placed kisses on the soles of your feet, causing you to giggle since it tickled a bit. You lined his tip up with your pulsing hole and watched as he rocked his hips forward, slowly pushing into you and stretching you open.

You whimpered at the burning stretch, your hands moving to grip at Choso’s forearms — your nails digging into his skin. “You’re doing so good baby.” He praised you with a grunt as he fed your greedy cunt every inch of his dick. He rolled his hips into yours and did slow careful thrusts as he waited for you to adjust to his size. Your whimpers and whines gradually turning into moans and choked cries of pleasure. “m-more” you encouraged him with a moan.

He didn’t waste another second. He put your legs over his shoulders and pressed his weight onto the back of your thighs as he increased his pace. He was relentless as he pounded your weepy cunt into oblivion. “fuck..you feel so fucking good.” He moaned as his eyes fluttered shut — getting lost in the feel of your walls squeezing his dick. Your pussy creamed and gushed around his dick, emphasizing the lewd wet sound of skin slapping that enveloped your bedroom space.

“uhn ngh- keep fucking me, don’t stop” you moaned out as you became putty underneath Choso. Your mouth agape and your eyes rolled back in pure ecstasy as choso drove his cock into you at a fervent pace. The swollen head of his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust and making writhe in pleasure. “Yeah?. You like having my dick stuffing this pretty pussy?”

“Tell me how good it feels” He urged in between pants and moans. He was fishing for praises from you and you were happy to give them. “feels ah- so good baby, love ngh- feeling you so deep choso..” you cried and choso whined pathetically at your words. They fueled him to burrow his cock into you deeper and harder. “love fucking you..you were made for me..” he breathed out as he began placing open mouthed kisses to your breasts.

He sucked and nipped at your taut nipples as he continued feeding your cunt punishing strokes that had tears brimming your eyes. Your hands tangled into his messy sweaty hair as he marked your chest and neck in red purplish bruises — the possessiveness in him wanting to leave a visible claim on your skin. “You’re so damn perfect ugh ngh- I wanna be yours.” He whined into your neck.

“tell me I’m yours” he was begging now, drooling onto your skin as his dick slammed into your cervix - the pressure against your cervix making you scream out and wail. “y-you’re mine cho! oh my god- this dick is all mine.” You cried. “s’all yours princess. Just for you.” He mewled. “I broke up with Jayla.” he suddenly said, but your brain was not coherent enough at the moment to process the information.

“wha-what?” You managed to stutter out as your foggy brain caught up with his words. “I ended things with Jayla so that I can take my chance at being with you.” He further explained but it all sounded like gibberish to you when his dick was obliterating your insides. “J-Just ah mmhfp- shhh” you put your hand over his mouth to get him to stop talking. “Tell me later.” you told him and he let out a breathy laugh at your response.

“Are you gonna cum baby?” He hummed as he adjusted your position — moving your legs to rest comfortably around his waist. “m-mhm!” you nodded and tightly wrapped your legs around him to keep him nestled deep inside you. “Yeah?. Gonna make an even bigger mess for me?. You’re always so pretty when you cum.” He muttered against your lips as he gave your swollen sappy clit some attention — rubbing tight circles onto it as he fucked you senseless.

You couldn’t even think properly anymore let alone speak to even respond to him. The only sounds that left you were pathetic babbles and cries as your orgasm built up. You were already so wet — slick dripping down your ass crack and creating a puddle on your sheets. Choso’s dick was covered in a blanket of your frothy cream and his pre cum mixed together. The slippery essence making the slide of his dick into you near effortless as he adapted rhythm of pulling out all the way to the tip and slamming back into you hard.

The force behind his thrusts caused you to let out choked squeaks; your body jerking further up the bed with every thrust. Choso wrapped his free hand around your throat to keep you in place. “shit..you’re taking it s-so uhn fuck- well..” he moaned as he felt his own climax approaching. His tongue licked up the drool and tears that coated your cheeks. He was so captured by you and his cravings for you, he wanted you imbedded in his skin and in his soul.

Your orgasm came without warning — your mouth parted in a silent moan and your back bowed off the bed as you came hard. You drenched Choso’s lower abdomen and your inner thighs in your climax; adding to the already filthy mess the two of you created. Choso continued fucking you through your orgasm as he sloppily chased his own — his thrusts turning uncoordinated and desperate.

The way your cunt was pulsating and clenching around his sensitive cock was his undoing. He was a whiny whimpering mess as he came deep inside you, filling you up with ropes of thick milky cum. The two of you were breathing heavily in sync as you both let a moment of calm settle over the two of you. Choso slowly pulled out and moved to get up to clean you up, but you stopped him — wanting him to stay laid next to you.

It was very peaceful having him cuddled up to you and keeping you warm. There was a long moment of comfortable silence until you spoke. “Did you really break up with Jayla..?” you asked him softly. Your mind was finally in the right state to have this conversation. He nodded, “Right after you left her house. I know this is all pretty fucked up but it’s always been you for me. I think I thought my infatuation with you would pass but it only grew stronger over time.” He told you honestly.

“I should’ve broken up with her long before things reached this point and I acknowledge that. I also understand if you don’t want to pursue anything further with me.” He continued and you listened to him with an open mind and an open heart. “But I promise I won’t take it for granted if you give me a chance.”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

#choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #choso smut #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x black!reader #choso x black y/n #pwp fics #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #black reader #fanfic

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unclewaynemunson · 11 months

Text

"What. The. Fuck."

Over years of living in a trailer park, Eddie has seen his fair share of weird shit. But this right here? This surpasses everything.

Wayne is sitting on the couch in the living room, with an actual baby in his lap and a completely deadpan expression on his face like this is something that happens every day.

"Hey, Ed. Meet Sasha Munson."

"Sasha Munson?" Eddie repeats, hoping that saying the name out loud will make this whole thing less surreal. It doesn't, so he automatically switches right into disbelieving panic mode instead. "Sasha Munson?! What the fuck? She isn't mine, I promise, it's literally impossible, someone must've - Wait, hold on - Is she yours? Aren't you like fifty years too old to knock someone up? What the fuck did you do? Who's the mother? What were you thinking, man, we can't take care of a -"

"Eddie, sit down."

"No, I'm not sitting down, this is ridiculous, what the fucking fuck, we can't -"

"She ain't mine and she ain't yours."

"What the-" It takes a few seconds before Wayne's words sink in. Then, Eddie freezes mid-sentence, giving his brain a second or two to catch up to what Wayne just said.

"Wait, what?" he asks.

He gives the sleeping baby a distrustful look. It's small - too small to be a human, if you asks Eddie. It scares him a little bit.

"Then whose is she?"

"I told ya to sit down, Ed."

And Wayne's voice is so strict and serious that Eddie can only obey.

"Your dad was here earlier."

Those few words are enough to tell Eddie exactly what happened. He immediately feels sick to his stomach. He wants to cover his ears, or walk out of the trailer and never come back. But instead, he keeps sitting, frozen in his chair, and listens to what Wayne tells him.

"Sasha is his daughter. He had this girlfriend, Melody, 'bout a year ago. She's much younger than him, is all I know 'bout her. I think they were kinda serious at the time. But Clyde went and messed it up, of course. Cheated on her. She dumped him. Then showed up again a few weeks later all sobered up and told him she was pregnant. Far as I know, things went okay for a while after that. But she caved right after she gave birth. It took a toll on her, Clyde said. So she needed the drugs again. He left her; he didn't see a way to help her and he was worried 'bout Sasha's safety. So he took Sasha with him and brought her to me. Said he couldn't take care of a baby and that was that."

It is a story eerily similar to what Wayne told Eddie about his own early years, whenever he'd ask him questions about his parents.

Eddie looks at the tiny human in Wayne's arms. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is just slightly agape. She's wrapped in a blanket that has a soft shade of pink, with tiny elephants printed across it.

"He never learns, does he?" Eddie remarks with a sigh.

"He doesn't," Wayne affirms in a soft voice, shaking his head. "But you know what, if these are the consequences of his actions..." He first looks up at Eddie, then down at the baby in his lap again. "I can't even be too mad at him for it."

"Jesus Christ, what a mess."

"Don't think too badly of him, Ed," Wayne says. "He wanted to help them. Both of 'em. But he didn't know how. He did what he thought was gonna be best for Sasha. Just like he did with you. He ain't evil. Just a coward who makes bad decisions."

Eddie swallows thickly.

"We'll make it work," Wayne says with certainty in his voice. "It'll be tight, but we'll survive. We did it before, we can do it again."

Eddie nods.

"You wanna hold her?"

He shifts uneasily. She seems so fragile. He doesn't know a single thing about babies; he is his father's son, after all, not Wayne's, no matter how much he wishes he were.

"C'mon, Ed, she's your sister."

It's only now that Eddie notices how well it fits, Wayne with a baby in his arms. Like he was made to be a father. Like Sasha belongs there. There aren't any pictures of Eddie as a baby, as far as he knows, but he imagines it must've looked somewhat like this scene: the exact same couch, a different blanket, and a younger version of Wayne. One with less wrinkles and more hair; less worn-out by the sorrows Eddie has given him over the years. It's simple for Wayne, in a way it isn't for Eddie's father, and in a way that Eddie fears it won't be for him. To hold her gently and let her sleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat. To sit with her quietly and do nothing else. To give love and patience without expecting anything in return.

Eddie rises from his chair and sits down next to Wayne on the couch. He utters a shaky breath, trying not to show his nerves, and wipes his sweaty hands over his jeans before holding out his arms.

“Just like that,” says Wayne softly while he places Sasha in Eddie's arms.

She's warm and has that specific newborn baby scent clinging around her. She's heavier than Eddie expected. She stirs a little bit and makes a tiny sound, but then she continues her peaceful sleep. He studies her: her closed eyes, her tiny nose, the way her head rolls around helplessly if he doesn't support her steadily enough; the hand that's hanging out of the blanket, with minuscule but fully developed fingers that grab around nothing. He listens to the steady sound of her breathing and imagines the tiny lungs inside her body working on pure instinct to keep her alive. His sister.

He looks up and finds Wayne staring at the two of them with tears in his eyes. He only catches Eddie's gaze for a fraction of a second, then he looks away, to the window on his right side.

“You're wrong, you know,” Eddie says.

Wayne turns his head back to him.

“Bout what?”

“She isn't his. Neither am I.” He looks up from the girl in his hands to meet Wayne's eyes. “We're both yours. He didn't do jackshit for us, just dropped us here with you and ran away. You're the one who raised me, Uncle Wayne, and that makes me yours way more than his. And Sasha? We're both gonna be here for her, every step of the way. We're gonna change her diapers and feed her milk - I don't really know anything else about babies, but we're gonna do all of that, together. We're gonna see her grow up and become a person. She's ours.”

Wayne produces a noise that sounds somewhat like a choked-off sob. He puts an arm around Eddie and drags him closer towards him. He doesn't say anything, but Eddie didn't expect him to. He understands.

#wayne munson was in dire need of an accidental baby acquisition trope okay #i said so #i know we all love steve accidentally becoming a parent to a baby half sibling but #consider this please #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #eddie munson #wayne munson #stranger things #fruity ficlet

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lesservillain · 4 months

Text

v. i want to hold the hand inside you

summary: a collection of moments through the holiday season. also a little bit of insight into eddie's pov. cw: smut (not with eddie), male masturbation, sexual fantasies, two idiots in love trope, eddie's mental anguish a/n: hi i'm back. missed you all and this series. hope it lives up to the hype. around 12.5k words. please continue reading after the fic for an important message regarding this series.

Shuffling down the stairs, you're greeted by the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying in the kitchen. The grumbling in your stomach reminds you that you’d eaten way too much candy the night before, and that real food was much needed if you were going to get through the day.

When you rounded the corner into the kitchen, you were expecting to be greeted by the master chef Charles at the stove. But instead you were greeted by Tonya’s beautiful, slightly confused face. With a rag slung over her shoulder and spatula in hand, you watched her attempt to flip what looked like a very, very fried egg.

“You need some help?” You ask. Tonya jumps, hand on her chest as she catches herself. Clearly she had been in the zone, focused on the task at hand. Although, that didn't seem to keep help her in her food making endeavors.

“Jesus, can you be a little louder when you walk in the room next time?”

“Sorry Tonnie,” you laugh, moving around her to get a drink from the fridge. “Been working on walking around as quiet as possible so I don’t wake Ed—everyone up when I’m working.”

Tonya's whole demeanor suddenly shifts. After plating the eggs and setting them aside, she turns her whole body to face you. Your eyes go wide as she takes the stance you know so well; the one she takes before she’s about to lecture you.

“While you’re working?” She asks, an eyebrow quirked in a suspicious fashion.

“Y-yeah…" you respond, not liking the way she starts to slowly saunter towards you. "Okay, can we skip the games, please? What’s wrong?”

“Why was there a red cape in your car last night?”

You feel like the room is going to spin. Not wanting to fuss with it you had thrown the costume cape in the back seat when you left Eddie’s last night. By the time you got all of your overthinking in, you’d completely forgotten to grab it and bring it inside.

“Wha—I, uh—”

Tonya says your name to cut off your babbling.

“If you wanted to go out and spend Halloween with Sam you could have just told me that.”

“What? Oh, god no.” Your nose scrunches in offense at the mere suggestion until you remember that it’s probably normal to want to spend time with the guy you’re dating. “I mean…I didn’t spend Halloween with Sam.”

“Okaaaay?” She draws the word out, head bobbing as she waits for you to explain yourself. You breath in, looking at her carefully before exhaling with a sigh.

“Promise me you will listen to what I have to say before coming to any conclusions.”

Tonya says your name with a serious tone. You can see the anger starting to brew in her, and you can only hope that once you tell her everything that’s been going on for the last two months that she’ll understand. The need to rip the band aide off was becoming more apparent, especially when you needed her guidance on some of the thinking you had done.

“Promise me?” You say again, not backing down.

“Ugh, fine.” She walks over to the table and sits down, motioning for you to take the seat across from her.

“So, I think the first thing I need to clear up is that…I don’t actually have a night job. At least, not in the sense that I’m getting paid. It’s a volunteering position.”

You watch the way her mouth tightens, nostrils flaring as she expresses all her unspoken words with her face. But, she doesn’t say anything so you keep going.

“It’s something that I signed up for at the very beginning of the semester. Granted, it wasn’t supposed to be an overnight thing...but the person I’m taking care of needed overnight care and I just—I couldn’t say no, Tonnie.”

Air blows out between her lips like steam, and you can tell you need to get the rest of the information out to her before she can’t hold it in anymore.

“The reason why I even hid any of this from you is because the person I’ve been taking care of was turned down by everyone else at sign ups…because he was a murder suspect.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Her hands wave in front of her and she shakes her head. “I’m really hoping that I did not hear you right. Because there’s no way you’re telling me that, you, of ALL PEOPLE, have been spending the last two months babysitting a MURDERER?!”

“He didn’t actually murder anyone!” You shout back. Tonya’s eyes roll as she throws her hands up dramatically.

“What does that even mean?!”

“Eddie was accused of murder, but he didn’t actually do it!”

“Eddie?! Eddie who?!”

“His name is Eddie Munson,” you say, “he was actually framed by the real murderer. The guy tortured him, Tonya! His…his body is covered in scars and…and he ended up loosing his leg. Like, from the knee down. And he was so sick when I got there. He’s come such a long way since then…”

Tonya’s face is like stone, blinking slowly as you go on about Eddie and all the things you’ve helped him accomplish in the last two months. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been rambling until the sound of her bedroom door caught your attention.

“Charles is here?” You ask her quietly after the bathroom door closes. You're shocked when she confirms that he had stayed the night. He'd never stayed the night before, at least while you were there.

“We had a fun night,” Tonya says with a sly smirk. “He’s probably feeling it this morning.”

“Ah, I see,” you nod. The sound of retching coming from the upstairs bathroom had the two of you giggling. Tonya leans in towards you, resting her chin on her hands as she looks at you.

“So,” she starts, “Can I ask you a side question before we get into this Eddie guy?”

“Sure,” you say suspiciously.

“Is Sam real?”

“What?” You chuckle. “Yeah, he’s real. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a lie you made up to go see your little criminal boyfriend.”

You reel back, shocked by the accusations of her statement.

“Eddie’s not my boyfriend,” you assure her. But the look on her face tells you she’s not buying it.

“Really? Because you just talked more about this guy in the last 20 minutes than you’ve talked about Sam since you two started dating.”

“Well…I spend five days a week with him, so of course I have more to say about Eddie than Sam. But…”

“But…?”

“What bit you in the ass this mornin’?”

Eddie stirs his coco wheat's mindlessly as the Andy Griffith’s Show plays on the TV. If you were to ask Wayne, he’d say Eddie was acting like a cat after it got caught in the rain, all pissy and ready to swat and anyone who looked at him.

“Nothin’,” Eddie grumbles, not bothering to look at his uncle as he spoke. Wayne sighed, grabbing the TV remote and turning it off. He shifts forward on the couch cushion until he was sitting on the edge.

“Did somethin’ happen at the Trick r Treat thing?”

Eddie exhaled, slumping back in the recliner dramatically before finally facing his uncle.

“Nothing happened. I just—Did you know she has a boyfriend?”

Wayne’s head tilts to the side. “What? No she don’t? Told me when she started.”

“Well, she must have lied to you because she told Harrington last night that she was seeing some guy named Sam from her school.” Eddie’s arms cross over his chest like a child with an attitude.

“Why’d she tell him that?”

“Because, in typical Harrington fashion, the guy flirts with any girl that crosses his path.”

“So she told him she had a boyfriend?”

“Yep.”

“Maybe she was lyin’ t’em.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. He hadn’t thought about that. He just assumed you hadn’t told him because you knew he liked you by now and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“But what if she’s not?” Eddie’s voice is soft in his vulnerability. He’d told Wayne about his growing feelings for you about a month ago. About how he thought you were beautiful from the first time he’d seen you, but he’d stuffed those feeling down immediately.

He tried his best to push you away, hoping that you’d run with your tail between your legs after how rude he’d been to you. But you didn’t seem to budge, so he tried to ignore you instead. That obviously didn’t work out either. His hopes went up when you saw him on the floor that faithful night. He thought that you’d be so repulsed by him that you’d turn and run on the spot.

But, of course you didn’t.

You looked at him as if he wasn’t a broken man who’d been beaten and almost eaten alive by supernatural bats. Who’d been abused and almost murdered by hospital staff who were supposed to be in charge of his life. Who was sent home to a place he didn’t know, with barely anything to his name after the Upside Down swallowed his trailer whole.

In hindsight, he almost wishes you had ran. Because this feeling that he’s had every day since has been more painful than any of his scars or shredded limbs. He wishes you had been shallow and vapid, because he would have a reason to hate you, rather than feel lonely whenever you weren’t around.

And maybe he’d feel less bad about the times he’s touched himself while thinking about how your body presses against his when you help move him to his chair. Or the way your chest brushes against his shoulder when you’ve put your arms around him while you watch their DnD games.

Shit, he’d only agreed to do physical therapy in the first place because you’d leaned in front of him and practically begged him. Did you know that he could almost see perfectly down your shirt when you did that? He was glad he did it, though, because the strength that’s slowly being restored to his hands was making it easier to jerk off to the thought of you.

Eddie tried to pushed those thoughts back. He didn’t want to feel that way about you. Well, not in this gross, perverted way at least. You didn’t deserve that.

“If’n she’s not lyin’, then…well…” Wayne settles into a silence. Eddie feels himself getting upset, head titling back to push the impending tears away before they could spill over.

It wasn’t fair for him to feel this way. He wouldn’t have had a chance with you even before everything that happened to him, so why was he getting all worked up as if you’d ever seen him as anything other than a pitiful shell of the man he used to be. No matter how much you poured into him, he would never have enough to return the favor.

Eddie had been distant the last few weeks. Not back to his grumpy self, but more closed off than he had been with you lately. Any time you touched him unprompted, he would pull away or make an excuse to move away from you. He still talked with you, but that teasing banter that he would throw your way was few and far between.

It hurt to feel like you were being locked out again, but you didn’t question it. Eddie didn’t owe you any explanations anyway. But you still couldn’t help to over analyze his behaviors every night before falling asleep.

Even now as you sit with him and Wayne and sort through old pictures that Wayne had found after going through their storage unit. Wayne is doing most of the talking, with Eddie chiming in here and there to give short interjections.

“Eddie, you’re joking,” you gasp.

It was just a shoebox, but it was filled to the brim with pictures of Eddie when he was little. The picture in question that you were absolutely gushing over was of Eddie and a woman that you’d assumed to be his mom by their matching chocolate button eyes. Her hair was wild like Eddie’s; long red curls teased to high heaven that framed her delicate face. Toddler Eddie was on her hip in a Christmas themed outfit, a huge, baby toothed grin plastered on his face as beamed at his mother. The back of the picture read ‘Eddie & Flo Christmas ‘68.’

“I’m not,” he says with little enthusiasm. “Unfortunately, I look just like my dad, besides my eyes. Wish I looked more like her, though.”

“No, look,” you say, pointing at his moms smile. “You have her smile, too. Dimples and all.”

“Hold on,” Eddie says, taking the box and sifting through the pictures. It took him a few minutes to finally pull out a picture before handing it to you.

What you weren’t prepared to see was a picture of a man who looked practically identical to Eddie, sans the long hair and clad in a military uniform. Next to him was a younger Wayne Munson, dressed in a leather jacket and with a much fuller head of hair. You studied the picture a bit before flipping it over.

‘Allan and Wayne April 1970 Day of Departure’

“Your dad was in Vietnam?” You ask, looking at the picture again, still mesmerized at the resemblance.

“Yeah, he got drafted and shipped out a month before my 5th birthday,” Eddie said with indifference.

“I thought you could be excused from the draft if you were married with kids?”

“Al and Flo weren’t married,” Wayne interjected. “And Al was dead set Eddie wasn’t his so he didn’t even show up to his birth. I’s there, though, cause I knew Flo wasn’t like those other girls he was chasin’ after. And when I tell you I wanted nothin more's to kick my brother’s ass as soon as I saw that little face for the first time.”

Wayne grabs the box from the coffee table and shuffles around it a bit until he found a picture. He looks at it for a moment before handing it to you. “Poor Flo did all that time cookin’ that one there for him to come out lookin’ exactly like his daddy.”

The picture was of Eddie’s mother in her hospital bed, wild red hair tied up and looking exhausted. But her smile was wild, and she was flashing a peace sign at the camera. An even younger Wayne was holding a bundled up new born Eddie proudly in his arms, holding him up in a way that shows off Eddie’s chubby baby face. He really did look like his dad, the Munson genes definitely being more dominant.

You flip the picture over to read the back.

‘Florence, Wayne, and Edward May 13th, 1965.’

Wayne fished out more pictures of Eddie as a baby, and you cooed over every single one, much to Eddie’s dismay. Through this you discovered Eddie’s middle name was James after his late grandfather that passed on the strong Munson genes to his father.

You couldn’t help but feel bad for Eddie’s mother, though. She was only 17 when she had Eddie, and her strict parents kicked her out because of it. Thankfully, Eddie’s grandparents took her in and Al apparently came around and stepped up when he held Eddie for the first time.

They stayed living all together until Al was drafted. But not long after, Eddie’s mom got really sick. She had been hiding it, hoping that it would go away on it’s own, until it had suddenly gotten worse. Wayne moved back home to help raise Eddie when his mother started getting sick. She died in 1971, a week before Al was set to come home from Vietnam.

“That’s when he started gettin’ in trouble. Flo had whipped him into shape in a way not even the military could accomplish. And when she was gone before he could say goodbye—”

“Can I go outside?” Eddie’s hand wipes over his eyes harshly. He scoots to the edge of the chair and reaches out for his wheelchair. You jump up at his request, getting his chair situated for him before helping him into it. He clung to you for a moment longer than he normally would, but you didn’t mind.

“Let me get your coat,” Wayne says, pushing off the couch. When he’s just out of earshot, you look at Eddie, his eyes glassy and downcast as if deep in thought, and tap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, do you think that when you have kids they’ll be clones of you, too?”

Eddie’s posture straightens, his eyes wide when he meets yours.

“What? I, um, I don’t—” He clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “I haven’t really thought about it. Didn’t really plan on kids anyway.”

“Oh, really? I guess that’s understandable. Not everyone wants kids.”

“Do you?”

“Hmm, maybe one day,” you shrug. “Not really rushing to have one right now or anything. More focused on school and taking care of you.” Eddie smiles, but ducks his head to hide it from you.

“Well, I guess I’m good practice for taking care of one,” he says.

“No, you’re way harder to take care of.” He barks out a laugh, rolling away from you to meet Wayne half way to the door.

While the two of them go outside to smoke, you busy yourself in the kitchen putting away the Thanksgiving dinner you and Wayne had put together, with Eddie’s help on stirring duty. Ben had come by and ate with all of you, seemingly more comfortable being around while you were at the Munson’s residence with his more frequent visits.

It didn’t take you long to clean up. Wayne had apologized all morning for the dinner not being anything fancy, and you reassured him every time that you didn’t care. You’d been used to spending Thanksgiving with just your grandparents, and then just your grandma for so long that you’d never made much of a big deal out of the holiday like others do.

Sam specifically told you on multiple occasions about how everyone in his family makes a very big deal about holidays. Apparently they were also looking forward to meeting you, which came as a shock considering he hadn’t even asked you to go, he just assumed you would. When you told him it felt like it was way too soon to meet his family, he seemed bummed but thankfully didn’t press further.

“Damnit, I told ya she’d be in here cleanin’ up, Eds,” Wayne hollers from the living room.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!”

“We’re gonna have to start paying her if she’s gonna start doing the maid’s job,” Eddie says, rolling into the kitchen and up to the fridge. He goes to grab for a beer, but you call for him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Eddie, if you have a beer this late you can’t take your pain meds.”

“That’s fine,” Eddie says, plucking the beer from the door and presenting it to you. “I wasn’t gonna take it tonight anyway.”

“What? Why?”

“Wanna try and get used to not having it.”

You want to argue with him, but he’s giving you that wet, sad look that he knows will get you to fold. And you do, snatching the beer from his hands and popping the tab open.

He holds his hand out to grab it from you, but you decide to fuck with him a bit and take a sip of it yourself. It tastes like nasty cheep beer, but you do your best to remain as neutral as possible, even letting out an “ahhh” after you swallow.

Eddie looks up at you with pure shock, frozen in place like he was petrified. It makes you laugh as you place the can back in his hand, waiting a moment for him to grab it before letting go.

“Y-you can have it if you want,” he stutters, not moving.

“It’s okay, Eddie, I was just messing with you,” you say, placing a hand on his shoulder as you walk past him out of the kitchen.

Eddie thrusts sloppily into his folded pillow, held together by his body weight as he lays on top of it. It took a lot of trial and error, but Eddie’s found this to be the most effective way for him to get off when his hands are too sore to just jerk off.

He didn’t mind it though, because this set up made it feel more real to him. He didn’t have any frame of reference to know what it felt like to fuck a real pussy, but the friction of his pillowcase felt good enough that he was able to bypass the texture if he just focused on the fantasies in his head.

All of them revolved around you, of course. He tries to stave off of giving into his urges. Especially considering he usually had to look you in the face at some point after. He felt like he was going to give himself some kind of pavlov response if he allowed himself to jerk off from any small domestic gesture that you threw his way.

Today was a bit too much for him, though. He’s happy you came over since he fully expected you to ditch him and Wayne for some other plans.

But you didn’t.

Not only did you come over, but you came over early, dressed up in an outfit that had Eddie fighting off a hard on from the moment you arrived. And basically acted as if you’d been part of the family for years rather than only knowing them for a few months. You were a natural addition to the Munson clan and that played on Eddie's mind a lot when he thought about you like this.

And when you took a sip of Eddie’s beer before giving it to him…Eddie was ashamed to even think about how much that affected him. Not only was it practically an indirect kiss, but he’d never seen you let loose like that, even if it was just a sip. You felt comfortable around him to blur that line of professionalism that you tried to keep up when you cared for him, and Eddie was letting the delusions run rampant.

“Haaa, fuck,” he whines into his other pillow as he ruts into the makeshift pussy that he desperately wishes was yours. He’s imagining you lying under him, his bare chest pressing into your back as he plows into you from behind. He thinks about how you’d be calling out his name. Are you vocal in bed, or would you be biting into his pillow like he is now to keep himself quiet?

Eddie pulls his shirt back up to his nose and your scent that rubbed off on it filled his nostrils, sending him over the edge. He cums suddenly with a low groan, spurts of white cum spilling in between the fold of the sandwiched pillow. His breath hitches, eyes going in and out of focus as he cums harder than he ever has before.

After catching his breath, Eddie pushes himself over and onto his back. He lays there, waiting for the guilt to creep in like it always does. He thinks back to your conversation earlier, about him wanting kids. It kills him.

Did you really think he would ever have the chance to have kids? Besides not knowing if his swimmers even work after what he went though, he would have to meet someone who would treat him with even a fraction of the kindness you give him. And then he’d have to convince them that he was worthy enough for their love and not a burden.

You saying you want kids one day hurt even worse. It was a feasible dream for you, to start a family with someone you loved. Eddie had barely thought about kids, but now he’s laying here thinking about what a normal life would be like with you. A house with a white picket fence, two kids, a dog…

Tears rolled down Eddie’s temples and disappeared into his sweaty hair line. He grabbed the soiled pillow and pulled off the pillowcase, carefully pulling it inside out and tossing it into his laundry basket. He pulled his comforter over himself to hide away from the world.

The bed shakes as Sam lands on his back next to you. He says…something, but you’re too busy in your own head to catch it. The ache between your legs tries to get your attention as well, but you would rather listen to Sam speak than address that right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sam’s hand waves in front of your face and you force yourself to smile when you look at him. “Did I really blow your mind that much?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” you nod enthusiastically, probably overdoing it. You feel an ick wash over you when he smiles triumphantly. He leans in to kiss you and you turn your head so that his lips hit your cheek.

“I’m gonna go get us some water. Feel free to use my bathroom to clean up.” You lay still until Sam leaves the room, holding your breath until you’re sure he’s gone.

Jumping up from the bed, you grab your clothes and quickly redress. You can’t find your tights but at this point you don’t even care, you just want to get out of there as fast as you can. Sam is standing in the hallway with a glass of water when you open the bedroom door. He looks at you up and down with confusion.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, I, uh…I forgot that I promised to help Tonya put up Christmas decorations tomorrow.” You move past him, but he grabs your arm to stop you.

“Do you have to leave right now?” He asks, a distressed look on his face.

“I’m sorry, but I probably should. Tonya likes to get up early to start the process and--”

“Okay, I understand,” Sam says, taking a deep breath in. “Can I, um, I want—I need to ask you something before you go.”

Your heart feels like it’s dropped into your stomach, nauseating you instantly. You have a sneaking suspicion that you know what he’s going to ask, but you really don’t think you can do this right now.

“Can we talk about it later? I think it’s supposed to start snowing soon,” you say, pulling your arm from his grasp. “Really want to get home before the roads get bad—”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

The reaction your body had to his question was similar to one you would have if you heard nails on a chalkboard. If the ground opened up and swallowed you whole right now you’d be thankful for a quick escape from this situation.

You relaxed your body and looked at Sam. He’s a nice guy, truly, but after everything that transpired in his bedroom…

“Sam…”

“Yeah?” His puppy dog eyes are making this harder than you want it to be.

“I….” You sigh, “I need to think about it. I’m going through a lot with finals coming up and taking care of Ed—I mean, Mr. Munson--”

“But you’re almost done with both of those? Christmas break is just around the corner, and I really would like you to meet my family.”

“Wait, what do you mean I’m almost done?”

“Well, you’re finals are, like, a week and a half away. And next week is your last week for the volunteer program so you won’t be needing to go to Hawkins anymore. We called all the families and let them know so that they could make other arrangements a week or two ago.”

All the air around you felt like it was sucked away. Wayne didn’t tell you that he had gotten a call. Was he even going to bring it up? Did he just expect you to up and leave him and Eddie?

“Sam, I really need to go,” you say with a strained breath. You don’t give him much of a chance to answer before you’re grabbing your coat and heading out his front door. Snow was already starting to stick to the ground as you got to your car. Sam stood at his front door, still in his boxers as you got in your car and drove off.

Driving on autopilot, your brain began to recall and process exactly what happened while you were with Sam. He had been off putting ever since you saw him after Thanksgiving, but you almost felt bad for him. All this time you convinced yourself that this really attractive guy was giving you attention and you just we’re being grateful for it.

But today solidified for you that you couldn’t deny the way you were feeling anymore. Not when the whole time the two of you were having sex, you couldn’t get Eddie out of your head. Every touch, every thrust, you could only think about Eddie being the one on top of you making you feel good. You’re pretty sure you would have cum if it was actually Eddie.

The feelings you had for Eddie sat behind a glass wall inside your mind ever since you were able to pour your heart out to Tonya. But, no matter how much you wanted to, you knew you could never act on them. It would go against every code of conduct for you to have a romantic relationship with a patient. You could potentially get kicked out of nursing school if you were ever found out.

Not to mention you had no idea if Eddie would even accept your feelings. Sure, he has come out of his shell and let you into his life in more ways that you had imagined when you first met him. But, you didn’t want to delude yourself into thinking it was anything deeper than an appreciation for the care you’ve given him. Eddie and Wayne were good people, and you didn’t want to mistake that kindness for anything more than what it was.

But, fuck, did it suck to find out you might only have one more week to spend with them.

Between the thick snowflakes and the racing of your mind, you didn’t notice the way the road was getting icier as the snow continued to fall. A turn snuck up on you in the heavy snowfall and you slammed on the brakes to slow down, but your car continued to slide across the snowy road.

Your car fishhooks before the back end whips around, sending you spinning into a ditch. It’s not a deep one, but the lack of traction under your tire sends them spinning with barely any movement from your car. You curse under your breath, all of your emotions bubbling up until you smack your steering wheel out of frustration.

After taking a few minutes to cool off, you take a look around you to assess your surroundings. It’s hard to see much, the back road you’re on has no streetlights and you’re not sure if you’d be able to see any house lights even if you were in someone’s yard. You start to panic, unsure of what you’re next move should be. You don’t have enough gas to wait out the night, but you should still have an emergency blanket in your trunk.

You have to hype yourself up to leave your car, moving as fast as you could to the back. As you went to open the trunk, fumbling with your keys lead to dropping them in the white snow at your feet. Your eyes stung as your tears began to gather, the cold wind instantly chilling them.

Without a second thought, you let out a loud scream into the dark night sky. You felt around for your keys, the cold metal biting your already cold hands as you finally opened your trunk, only to find it empty. That’s when you remember that you had taken the blanket out of your trunk and thrown it in your back seat for the trunk r treat night.

The trunk of your car slams hard enough to make the car shake, and you practically rip the door off the hinge when you grab the blanket.

Just as you’re about to get back in your front seat whe a light comes into view from the down the road. Relief washes over you when you can see it’s a car coming your way. You jump up and down, waving your hands around to get the cars attention, the big truck rolling to a stop next to you.

“Are you okay, darlin’?” A little old woman’s voice calls from the rolled down window.

“No,” you yell with a pathetic sniffle. The driver side door of the truck opens and a little old man jumps out and rounds the front. He lets you inside and you slide into the bench seat between the two.

The couple apparently heard you scream from their house and came out to check what was going on. The snow was so thick you didn’t even realize their house was only a few hundred feet away from your car. The woman made you a hot drink as you used their phone to call for someone to pick you up.

“Hello?” Wayne’s gruff voice could have been intimidating to hear if it was anyone else calling the Munson house this time of night.

“Wayne, it’s me.”

You thank the older couple profusely for everything before bounding out to the truck waiting for you in their driveway. It had taken Wayne almost 45 minutes to get to you with all of the snow, but he promised he would get to you even if it took hours.

When you pulled open the passenger door, you were surprised to see Eddie sitting there with a worried look.

“Eddie, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Boy was worried sick ‘bout’cha,” Wayne calls from the other side of Eddie.

“Wayne,” he groans, scooting over on the bench seat to make room for you.

“Aw, that was really sweet of you to be worried about me,” you tease, leaning your head on his shoulder to push his buttons a little bit more. Eddie adverts his gaze, mumbling a whatever under his breath making Wayne chuckle.

Wayne backs out of the driveway and starts the journey to Tonya’s. The conversation is light until Wayne asks what you were doing out so late at night during a snow storm.

“I was out with some of my classmates,” you lie, not wanting to bring up being with Sam. The thought of him only brought all of the thoughts you had earlier in the night to the forefront of your mind, and you were suddenly very aware of how much of your body was touching Eddie’s in this cramped seating arrangement.

The chill of the night had been cut by his natural body heat against you, making you subconsciously curled into him at some point during the drive. You went to pull away, but his body started to move with yours until he was leaning into you.

“Sorry,” he said, trying to adjust himself, “I usually lean against the door to keep my balance.”

“Oh my god, Eddie, I’m sorry,” you say, moving closer to him again. “I would have sat in the middle if I had known.”

“It’s okay,” he says quietly before you felt his body weight leaning against you again.

The small talk dwindled into a peaceful quiet as Wayne drove the country road with ease. The snow has started to ease up, almost completely stopped by the time you saw the city marker indicating you were close to being home.

As you were leaning into Eddie’s shoulder, you felt a bit of weight fall on top of your head, your vision slightly obstructed by curly brown hair that fell over your face. Eddie’s light snores next to your ear was all the confirmation you needed that he’d fallen asleep and was using you as a pillow.

A warm, bubbly feeling filled you at the sudden closeness. Even a small interaction like this made you feel a million times more exultant than you’ve ever felt with Sam. Or anyone for that matter.

“Wayne,” you called to the older man, wanting to distract yourself from your thoughts. He hummed in response, his hat covered head tilting slightly in your direction while his eyes remained on the snowy roads. “Tonight one of my…friends from class, they mentioned something about this week being the last week of our volunteer work.”

Wayne went rigid in his seat, shifting to sit upright again. He cleared his throat, visibly becoming more distraught with each passing second.

“Yeah, I guess that’s right, isn’t it? I, um…” Wayne ran a hand over his mouth, rubbing it back and forth against the stubble before it landed back on the steering wheel.

“’ve been-- been trying, ya know, to get someone to take over nights. I thought about askin’ Hop, but he’s done enough for us. Plus he’s got family now, so s’not fair to ask him. Could come off the nights, but that shift diff is really gettin’ us by.” Wayne nods his head to the side, “Ed says he can stay home by himself, but I just…I can’t have em fallin’ and not bein’ able to get emself up. Lord forbid he fall and break his hip er somethin’.”

“So…it sounds like you haven’t found anyone?”

Wayne sighs, shaking his head. “Well, that’s not…” He pauses, letting out a huff of air through his nose. “There is someone who is willing to come a couple nights a week if we need ‘em…”

“But?” You press, curious as to who this person might be.

“But…I’ll just say he’s not my first pick to take responsibility for anyone.”

“I see,” you say, looking down at where Eddie’s thigh is pressed against yours, the end of his jeans smoothed over the amputation spot where you’d sewn the end shut for him.

“Can I ask why you didn’t ask me if I could keep coming over?”

Wayne was still, like he was holding his breath.

“I, um, we…”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. “I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. If you don’t want me to keep coming I totally understand--”

“No, no! That’s not it at all,” Wayne says defensively. “We both kinda assumed that you weren’t…allowed to.”

“Oh…well I don’t think there’s anything that says I couldn’t keep coming over? It’s not like I’m being paid, so I don’t think I’m violating any of my school’s rules. And he’s been doing so well, it wouldn’t be any different than if anyone else came over to stay with him.”

The truck was quiet for a moment, except for the directions you gave Wayne as he turned into Tonya’s neighborhood. Once he pulled into the empty driveway, he shift the old beater truck into park and turned to look at you. You must have been quite a sight sitting there with his nephew practically on top of you as he snoozed away. But you still smiled up at him, even as he shook his head at the two of you.

“So, I don’t want you to say yes just because I told you I was havin’ trouble. Okay? Promise me if you say yes that it’s not outta pity.”

“I promise,” you say, crossing your fingers for him to see.

“Alright, well, if it’s not gonna cause you any issue, would you be able to keep comin’ down to stay with Ed at night? It doesn’t have to be every day. Like I said, I got someone who said he can stay a night or two a week if we need ‘em—”

“Can I ask who it is you’re talking about?”

“It’s, uh, it’s a guy Ed went to school with. He’s a little older--names Rick—they’ve been friends since Eddie was a freshman—”

“Rick? Like Reefer Rick?” You question, Eddie’s weight on you being the only thing keeping you from jumping out of your seat.

“Well, yeah, that’s him. I guess Eddie must’ve talked bout him by now.”

“He hasn’t told me much about him. But, he did come over one day after you’d already left for work when the boys were over.”

“Ah, yeah, I forgot Eddie told me he came by,” Wayne nodded.

“I guess I understand why you don’t want him to be the one to stay over.”

“Yeah, he’s just…not a very responsible kid,” Wayne says with a shake of his head.

“That’s like…the nice way to put it, I suppose.”

Eddie suddenly lifts his head from your shoulder, his tired, confused eyes scanning his surroundings before looking at you. He smiles, breathing in harshly as he stretches, one arm going forward and the other behind you.

“Hi,” he breathes out, his voice groggy and low from just being asleep. It does that thing to you where it goes straight from your ears to between your legs.

“Hi Eddie,” you giggle, looking up at his dopey, half asleep still expression. Wayne clears his throat and Eddie’s whole body turns to look at him, then all around once more as if he’s only just noticing his surroundings for the first time.

“Where are we?” He asks with pinched brows.

“My house,” you say, taking that as your cue to grab your things and exit the vehicle.

“Shit, that was a quick drive,” Eddie says running a hand over his eyes.

“Quick only cause you used that poor girl like a mattress while you slept,” Wayne quips.

“I did? Damn, I’m sorry,” Eddie apologizes, his eyes wide as if panicked.

“Oh, I didn’t care,” you say as you opened the car door, the cold air hitting you straight to the bone and making you shiver. But even with the winter air trying to turn you into a popsicle, you still took your time getting out, not wanting to make Eddie lose his balance and fall.

Once Eddie was situated back in the passenger seat, you gave the two men your goodbyes, promising Wayne to finish the conversation when you come by on Monday.

The Munson men waited in the drive way to make sure you got inside okay, waving back to you as they took off down the road.

Every day for the next week felt like a rollercoaster.

Sunday consisted of Tonya taking you to get your car and you ignoring phone calls from Sam. You and Tonya also decorated the house together, so you technically didn’t lie to Sam when you left.

Monday you were almost late to class, doing your best to wait until the last second to pull into the schools parking lot so as to avoid Sam in case he was waiting for you. You felt bad for not giving him an answer before you left him on Saturday. But after an all day conversation with Tonya that started with telling her that you couldn’t get Eddie out of your head while you were having sex with Sam and ended with you guys talking about what colours you think Eddie would like if you ever got married one day, you figured you should probably cut things off with him.

You were never good at telling anyone no, this much you knew about yourself. And if you were completely honest, you were a little worried that if you didn’t wait until the right time that Sam might puppy dog eye you into changing your mind. But, you had to be strong. If you could just get through until next Wednesday after finals…

Speaking of finals. After some discussion with the Munson men, it was decided that you would keep coming to stay with Eddie over night until further notice. Both of them seemed to be relieved, although Eddie did say he wanted to keep working on building his strength so that Wayne would feel comfortable enough to let him be alone at some point in the future.

Once that was settled, you immediately made a deal with Eddie, making him your personal exam study buddy. Every day he quizzed you, went through flash cards with you, and looked over your homework for you, handing it back if he didn’t think the answer you gave matched what the textbook said.

“I feel like I could be a nurse after all of this,” Eddie said, placing the thick deck of flash cards down on the side table. The flipping between the cards had been serving as a good exercise for building up his hand dexterity, but often left them a little sore by the time you’d gone through all of them.

“I think I’d pay good money to see you in one of my school’s nursing uniforms,” you tease, standing up to refill his cup.

“Good money, huh? Like, maybe a college tuition’s worth?” He calls back from his chair. You bark out a laugh.

“You’d have to put that uniform to good use for me to shell out that kind of cash, if you know what I mean.” Eddie howls at your suggestive words.

“Don’t know how good of a dancer I’d be with only one leg, sweetheart!”

After a long week of studying, Friday finally rolled around and it was time to fulfill your part of the bargain.

With Eddie in the passenger seat, the two of you set off towards Castleton Square in Indianapolis. The roads were busy, full of people with the same idea as you and Eddie; last minute Christmas shopping.

You’d lied to Wayne about where you were going per Eddie’s request. He knew that if he told Wayne where he was going that he would try and give him money to buy his gifts.

But ever since his disability checks (finally) started coming in, Eddie had secretly been saving some on the side so that he could get some things for everyone for Christmas.

That included Wayne, and he wasn’t about to use the man’s own money to buy him a Christmas gift. So, as far as Wayne knew, the two of you were going to see Grant and his girlfriend's new apartment.

“Damn, this place is packed,” Eddie said, head on a swivel as you tried to navigate the mall’s parking lot without taking out a pedestrian.

“No kidding,” you say, pulling up towards one of the mall’s entrances.

“I’m gonna let you out here,” you say, flipping on your blinkers. Once Eddie is situated in his chair, you wait for him to wheel inside the first set of doors before taking off to park.

After 20 minutes of searching and briefly getting into it with a 70 year old over a handicap spot, you finally make your way to the mall entrance. It was just as crazy inside of the mall as you’d expected it to be with Christmas only a few more days away. People of all different background suddenly become unified by their arms being full of copious amounts of shopping bags.

Eddie sat just inside the doors, eyes flickering across his surroundings, as if anticipating something. But as you enter into the crowded mall, his anxiousness seems to melt away as soon as his gaze meets yours.

“You okay?” You ask, grabbing your purse from his lap.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving his hand at you. “I’m just…scoping the place out. For stores to shop in.” He saves himself at the last moment and you decide to let that excuse be enough for you.

To say the mall was pure chaos was an understatement. Many of the stores were restocking shelves at a record speeds, people fighting over toys and clothes and shoes that they HAD to have, lest little Tommy or Susie not get everything on their Christmas list. Every bench was filled to the brim with husbands and dads left in charge of bag duty while their wives wrack up their credit cards in the name of Christmas spirit.

Thankfully, no one wanted to be the person that's a dick to the guy in the wheelchair during the holiday season, so navigating the crowds was a little easier than you anticipated. The two of you bobbed and weaved through the stores, picking up a few things here and there for your respective friends and loved ones. Eddie was even brave enough to do a little shopping on his own while you ran to the bathroom.

Once the two of you regrouped, you took in Eddie’s haggard appearance and decided to call for a cookie break.

“Damn, what do they put in these things?” Eddie asks, his eyes closing as he takes another bite of his double chocolate cookie.

“I don’t know,” you say, sitting on the edge of a cement planter, not a single available seat in sight, “but whatever it is should probably be illegal. I could probably eat 10 of these things.”

“Mmm, agreed,” he says with a mouth full of cookie.

The two of you sit and enjoy your treats in silence. Not out of neglect for the other, but out a mutual curiosity as you people watch.

It was interesting to come to your own conclusions about people with only a snapshot of their lives like this, and it makes you wonder how people must be perceiving you and Eddie together. Are people assuming the two of you are dating? You couldn’t blame people for thinking that, but what else were they thinking about you? Do the two of you even look good together?

“Look mommy! What is that?”

The voice of a little boy catches your attention. A small pointed finger in your general direction makes you feel uneasy as you automatically assume the child must be pointing at Eddie. Sure, a man in a wheelchair has the potential to puzzle a child, but you didn’t know how Eddie would react to this kind of attention in a raw, childlike form.

“That’s called a mistletoe, dear,” the stressed mother answers, eyes looking your direction for a brief moment. Except, you notice her gaze lands just above you, prompting you to tilt your head back. And you’d be damned to find a small mistletoe handing from a thin string from the ceiling tile above you.

“Huh,” you hear Eddie say next to you. The sudden realization that the mistletoe is hanging above yours and Eddie’s head has heat rising to your cheeks. You keep your head locked while your eyes shift to look at Eddie out of your peripheral.

Sure enough he was looking at it, too.

“Didn’t see that there before.” The words spill from your mouth without much forethought. Eddie clears his throat, and you steal another quick glance at him. His cheeks have an ever so slight pink tint to them, which only makes your stomach do flips.

Eddie has play flirted and said his fair share of raunchy jokes with you in the recent weeks. Never really giving as much of a hint of embarrassment in his actions, you assumed that he felt comfortable enough with your…friendship? That he didn’t care to treat you like one of his boys.

Given your newly realized feelings, it’s admittedly stung a bit. However, the reaction he’s giving now at being caught under a mistletoe with you is only fueling any delusions that you’ve ever entertained between the two of you.

“Me—me either,” he stutters, his eyes shifting down to the floor tiles beneath him. His bashfulness drives you crazy, and you have the sudden intrusive thought to just kiss him. And you almost consider it, if it wasn’t for the potential awkwardness that would result from your potential misreading of the moment.

“Have-have you, um, ever…you know?” Eddie chokes on almost every word, leg bouncing against the pedal as he speaks.

“I’m sorry, have I ever—?”

“Ever kissed. Like, under the mistletoe or whatever.” Eddie clarifies, gesturing to the decoration while still avoiding eye contact.

“O-oh, um,” you think for a moment of every kiss you’ve ever had in your life and suddenly blanking. “Maybe once or twice. In, like, middle school or high school. What about you?”

Eddie shifts in his chair, “No, no, it’s…I’ve not before. Not that I wouldn’t,” Eddie looks at you, then turns away again. “I mean, I’ve never been under one with someone before.”

“Do you want one?”

Eddie stills, blinking slowly as he processes your words.

“Do I want a kiss?”

You nod.

“I mean I guess I wouldn’t be against—”

Eddie is quieted by the sudden contact. You press your lips against his cheek, landing on the edge of the large scar. It’s only for a moment, but it feels like a lifetime to Eddie.

When you pull away, you do your best to maintain composure. Giving him a forced smile, you rise from your seat to look at him straight on.

“There you go,” you say, hands landing on your hips. “Now you can say you’ve had your first mistletoe kiss.”

“Eddie, Eddie, shhh it’s okay.”

Pulling him into you, you run a hand up and down his back soothingly in an attempt to calm Eddie’s still sleeping form. Screams of terror begin to fade out into small moans and whimpers the more you comfort him.

Slowly he wakes, his arms wrapping around you as he begins to sob. You don’t ask him about his dreams, or rather, his nightmares. You’re sure that it would only make things worse, so you just let him cry himself back to sleep against you.

“—Oh, shit, sorry.”

Your eyes shoot open at the sound of Wayne’s voice. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, still leaning against the head of Eddie’s bed as he snored in your lap.

“No, it’s okay,” you whisper yawn, gently lifting Eddie’s head until you could place a pillow under it. Tiptoeing out of Eddie’s room, you join Wayne in the hallway, who looks like he just got home.

“Sorry if I woke ya,” Wayne says in a low voice.

“It’s okay, really,” you say rubbing your eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. He had another night terror so I was just trying to settle him down s'all.”

Wayne hums, a hint of disbelief in his tone. You thought about pressing the matter, but figured doubling down would only push Wayne into believing whatever he already convinced himself more. Besides, getting a couple more hours of sleep before the weekend officially started sounded like something you wanted to take advantage of.

When you did finally wake up, you did your normal Saturday morning routine before your morning shift at the coffee shop. After getting dressed, you place a full glass of water and a little cup full of his morning meds on Eddie’s nightstand and pull out a fresh pair of clothes for him to put on after he wakes up. As you go to leave, you glance over to the newly wrapped gifts that sit below the Munson’s Charlie Brown inspired Christmas tree and think about how you wish you had seen Wayne’s face when he saw them earlier.

Your work day flew by. The nonstop in and out of shoppers getting their morning caffeine fix or their afternoon refill kept you constantly moving. And before you knew it, you were grabbing your own cup to go and heading out the door to trek the the almost 3 hour drive from work to your home town.

Once you made it to Anderson, you stopped by a local flower shop, one that you’d been going to since you were a kid, to pick out some nice flowers to leave at the graves of your parents and grandparents. The owner made some small talk with you, asking about school and how Tonya was doing.

The mentioning of your friend reminded you that you still needed to give her the gift you’d gotten her before she left to visit Charles' family for the holiday. You were thankful that the Munson’s asked you to join them Christmas day, otherwise you’d be spending the holiday by yourself for the first time in your life.

With your flowers in hand, you placed each bundle at the graves. You spent a good amount of time with each one, talking with the markers as if your loved ones were there and listening. You’re not sure how long you were there. But eventually the cold became too much and you had to leave.

Driving out of the cemetery was always really hard. Your parents had been gone long enough now that you’d come to peace with them being gone. It still hurt, but didn’t feel as much like salt in a wound as your grandparents. But, the deep sadness you normally felt was lighter than usual. The thought of your next destination—back to the same mall you had spent the evening with Eddie in—made you feel like you had a purpose for the first time in a long while.

You’re sure he hadn’t noticed, but you had kept your eye on Eddie as he shopped around. Anything he took interest in as the two of you perused the mall you took note of, fully planning on returning to pick out some to gift him. You doubt that he go you anything, but that didn’t really matter to you. You wanted to get him things he wanted, knowing he wasn’t going to spend the money on himself.

“What’s W.A.S.P?” Tonya mumbles through a mouth full of sugar cookie as she flips a cassette case in her hand. Her eyes go wide as she reads the track titles on the back.

“They’re a metal band,” you say, grabbing it from her and centering it the middle of your wrapping paper. “Jeff gave Eddie a shirt of theirs, so I’m guessing he must like them.”

“Girl, one of those tracks was called Ballcrusher,” she says with a concerned look that made you laugh.

“Hey, I’m not here to judge,” you shrug, wrapping the cassette nicely and laying it next to a few more that were already wrapped. “It’s cooler than the ovenmits you got Charles.”

“Excuse you, he asked for new mits.” Tonya points her half eaten cookie at you before taking another bite. “And I think they fit his personality very well.”

“They’re plain beige,” you say monotonally.

“Exactly,” Tonya nods with a smile. “Plain and beige, and safe.”

You tsk and roll your eyes, mumbling a little whatever as you organize your gifts. Some might say you went a little overboard for someone who you’ve only been taking care of for just shy of 5 months. But, it was hard to narrow anything down when you envisioned Eddie’s face as he opened all of his new possessions. It was enough to justify the…8…9…11 things you got for him.

“Can I tell you something…”

You look over at Tonya, who seems to be unable to contain a smile as she waits for you to answer.

“Of course,” you say, turning to give her your full attention.

“Okay, so, I know it’s the holiday season or whatever, and I could totally be wrong. But…”

“But?”

“But…” She takes a deep breath in. “...I think Charlie is going to propose to me at his family’s Christmas.”

You shoot up straight in your chair. A few months ago you might not have been so keen on this speculation, but the last few months Charles seems to have loosened up a bit. You also stopped caring about him taking your parking spot considering you were hardly here much anyway between school, work, and being at the Munson’s.

“Oh my god. What? Why do you think that?”

“So, we went and did some Christmas shopping at that new outlet mall the other day. And while I was in the bathroom, he thought he would be slick and went into a jewelry shop. When I came out I saw him through the window and I’m, like, 99 percent positive he was looking at rings!”

The two of you gush and squeal over the prospect of Tonya’s future nuptials. Talks of colours and styles of dresses fill the room as the two of you talk for hours.

“You know,” Tonya starts from the other side of the shower curtain, “Even if you are the maid of honor, I’m putting my foot down about one thing.”

“Oh, yeah,” you ask before spitting out your tooth paste into the sink, “And what might that be?”

“If you plan on bringing Eddie as a plus one, I have to at least meet him once before the actual wedding.”

You feel your cheeks heating up a bit. “I…I don’t see why that couldn’t be arranged—”

“Ideally, I’d also like the two of you to have confessed your love for each other by then, too—”

“Stoooooooop, you don’t know that he’s in love with me. This could be totally one sided.”

“Or,” Tonya pokes her head out from the curtain, “he could be completely head over heals for you and one of you just needs to make a move already.”

“What the—do you need help?” Dustin moves towards you to help with the balancing act of carrying all your presents into the Munson house. He grabs a few gifts and ushers you inside.

“Thanks Dustin,” you say, heading towards the Christmas tree that is filled even more so now than it was when you left Saturday morning. “It’s starting to look like Santa wont have any room to bring presents.”

“We’re going to take care of most of that tonight,” Jeff says with a smile as he pushes Eddie’s chair into the living room.

Eddie looked very handsome tonight in his red sweater and black slacks. It even looked like he took his time to properly do his hair today. You loved when Eddie would let you get his curls looking just right with a little product and styling.

“Hey,” he waved to you, more reserved than his normal goofy self.

“Well, hey there hot stuff. You look really nice tonight,” you say, leaning in to give him a hug. He went rigid for a moment before melting into the embrace.

“About time you got here,” Mike calls from the kitchen, causing you to jump back. “You better hurry up and get some of this pizza before Gareth freaking eats it all.”

“Dude, I’m hungry!” Gareth shouts defensively. Will puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him as everyone laughs them off.

“Where’s your friend,” you ask the room, scanning it for a new face. The boys said they had convinced their friend Lucas to finally come to a Hellfire meeting after several long months.

“He should be here soon,” Dustin says in an overly reassuring way.

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mike scoffs.

“You were there, dude. He said he would come.”

“He said he would think about it. Never said he was gonna show up for sure.”

“If Sinclair shows up, we’ll greet him with open arms,” Eddie speaks up, “And if he doesn’t…well,” the room stills,”...there will always be other Hellfire Club meetings.”

Before the game begins, the boys take turns passing around gifts to each other. You’ve never seen so many sets of colourful dice in your entire life, but they all seemed very excited to receive them. Eddie was given a few band shirts and some cool looking records as well. He was so grateful for each gift he was given, a constant roll of thanks coming from him.

For a moment, you thought he might be getting overwhelmed when you saw a him wipe away a tear. You rest your hand on his arm, but he waves you off and reassures that he’s just really, really happy. It made your heart feel full to see him in such a good place. The amount of growth he’s done in such a short time never ceases to amaze you.

Eventually the game started rolling. You took the opportunity to clean up the mess of wrapping paper that was littered across the living room. The boys tried to get you to join them, but you told them that you wouldn’t be as fun to play with since you’d ask so many questions.

But Eddie still managed to keep you returning to the table. A few beers deep, he decided to skip his nighttime pain med. This led to his hands starting to ache (allegedly), which meant he needed you to roll his dice for him. Even if you knew it was just his way of getting you to hang out and avoid the pile of laundry that was staring you down, you let him have his fun and played along.

“Another 20!” You shout, jumping up and down. Eddie laughs manically while the rest of the table groans and protests.

“Maybe it’s a good thing she didn’t play with us,” Dustin says shaking his head. You stick your tongue out at him and he makes a face back at you.

But the feeling of something touching your back pulls you from the playful banter. Looking around, you realize Eddie has his hand resting on your lower back, rubbing small circles there as he refocuses on the game. It’s not an unwelcome touch by any means, but it does feel very intimate all things considered.

And it’s only made worse as his hand moves completely across your back, not stopping to trace back and almost hooking you around the waist. He pulls you closer to him until your bodies are flush, besides where the wheelchair separates you. His head rests against you, all of his attention on the game, making the action feel like a subconscious move.

You weren’t going to make a scene about it, so you instead embrace the affection and let your hand rest on his opposite shoulder. From the corner of your eye you see the smile on his face grow until his dimples are on full display.

At the end of the night, the boys made their exit, leaving the pizza and drinks for you and Eddie to indulge in for the next day. Lucas never showed, but Dustin and Mike seemed determined to make him come out soon.

Once the boys were loaded up and down the drive way, you went straight to the sink to get to work on the dishes. But, before you could get passed the threshold of the kitchen, Eddie gently grabbed your wrist to still you.

“What’s wrong Edward?” You tease. His flush cheeks told you that he let himself go a little more than usually when he drinks.

“Shhhh don’t say my name like that,” he says with a slur of his words.

“Why not? It’s you’re name isn’t it?”

“Makes me feel like I’m in trouble or something.”

“Oh, do you feel guilty about something?”

You didn’t think that your words would hit any chords with Eddie. But the silly outward expression suddenly turned into one of shock. The air shifted in a spit second and you were instantly on damage control.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, fully facing him. Eddie looked like he was on the verge of tears, eyes getting glassier by the second. His body moves as a sob escapes from him, and any resolve Eddie had was gone as he lets everything go.

You crouch in front of him, hands on his shoulders as he begins to wail, body shaking as he lets everything out.

“H-he didn’t--did’t-didn’t show--show up because of me!” The shaky words come out, and you instantly realize the error of your wording.

You pull him into you, letting him cry into your shoulder as you pet his hair, holding him tightly to comfort him

“Shhh, Eddie, nooo,” you speak low next to his ear. “You’re not to blame for what happened. You were a victim, too, Eddie. There isn’t anything you could have done—”

“If I had just died—if Dustin had just left me there instead of finding Steve and Robin…They-they—”

Eddie starts to hyperventilate. His head lifts from your shoulder as he struggled to get his breath. You jump to your feet and run to the kitchen to grab a paper bag that had been left from the gas station beers. You run back to him and instruct him to breath into it, coaching him to imitate you as you demonstrate taking deep breaths.

After a few minutes, Eddie is able to somewhat calm himself down. Tears still rolling down his cheeks, he leans back into his chair, running his hands over his face and through his hair. You can tell he’s avoiding looking at you. But you’re not sure if its out of shame or if he’ upset with you.

“Eddie?” You ask quietly. He flinches, but slowly lowers his head until he’s facing you, his eyes looking downwards rather than at you. But it’s good enough for you.

“Eddie, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t.” His voice is still wobbly, eyes closing again as he breathes in.

“No, Eddie, you need to listen to me. Okay?”

Eddie looks at you, almost through you, but you take the silence as the signal to continue.

“Eddie…I know it might be hard to understand. But…whatever happened back in March…it’s not your fault.” His eyes shift and he starts to blink rapidly, but he doesn’t speak. “I can understand why you think that your friend is mad at you, but I think you know he’s not. He’s just worried about your other friend, Max. And whatever happened to Max…you didn’t force that monster to do that to her. Nor did you make him hurt the other victims.”

Eddie takes in a sharp breath, coming out haggard as you can tell he’s trying to hold back from crying again.

“And whatever happened to you…” You take his hands in yours, looking at the scared skin that decorates it. You let your hands fall against his thighs, just above where his leg is amputated. “Was not your fault.”

“You’ll never understand,” he says suddenly, catching you off guard. “You don’t know what actually happened.”

“Then, tell me Eddie. Help me understand.”

Eddie’s eyes scan your face. Then his head shakes, his curls whipping around as he does.

“I can’t. Even if I wanted to I…I just can’t.”

You nod, “And that’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Because I don’t think my mind would change even if I did know.”

“Can I go outside?” He asks, pulling his hands from yours.

“Sure,” you say with a smile. “Maybe we can get you showered and ready for bed after?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, pushing himself to the door.

“Just hand me the lighter, asshole.”

Gareth’s hand reaches across the coffee table impatiently for Eddie to hand him the bright red lighter after the joint they were passing around had gone out.

“Nope, only people who tell the truth get to use my lighter,” Eddie says holding the lighter to his chest.

“Eddie, don’t press him. He doesn’t want to talk about it,” you say, taking a sip from your concoction of a drink that Grant’s girlfriend, Tina, made for you. You lean into him so that only he could hear you. “How would you feel if someone was pestering Wayne about Ben like that?”

That seemed to shut Eddie up. He finally tossed the lighter to Gareth, who wasted no time in lighting the joint back up.

“So, how did Christmas at the Munson’s go?” Jeff asks, plopping down on the couch next to Eddie, handing him another beer.

“It was, and I am not exaggerating,” Eddie starts with a slight slur of his words, “probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had. Like, this one right here?” He points his thumb to you. “I didn’t think I’d ever know what it feels like to be spoiled, but that’s definitely how she treated me.”

“Wait a second,” you scoff, “I did not spoil you. I just found some things that I thought you’d like and figured I’d get them for you.” You shrug, giving Tina, Grant's girlfriend, a look of feigned innocence as you turned to face her. The two of you had been doing quite a bit of chatting since you arrived, instantly clicking as you two seemed to have a lot in common.

She did ask you how long you and Eddie had been together, however. And you had to awkwardly explain that you were just his caregiver. It made you wonder what Grant had to be telling her about you and Eddie for her to think that the two of you were together.

“Did you get her anything?” Grant asks, nodding to you.

“Of course,” Eddie says with faux offense. “I bought her some of the lotion that she keeps in her bag, some of her favorite snacks, a copy of her favorite movie that she said she lost when she moved, and a study book for school.”

“You also got me a whole box full of snacks,” you say, nudging him.

“That was just because you are constantly talking about how you wish you had this or that when we’re watching a movie or something,”

“Are you sure you are not dating?” Tina leans in and asks you with genuine curiosity.

The guys laugh, but you reassure her that you’re not.

“When you spend as much time together as we do, you tend to pick up on each other’s interests. I’m sure you and Grant are the same way.”

“We are,” she says with an enthusiastic nod, “Because we are dating.”

“Shh, hey, the ball is gonna drop!”

The small TV in Grant’s living room shows that only 15 seconds remain until the ball is about to drop. You move closer to Eddie to see the TV better, and he wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you into him.

Everyone’s eyes are on the TV as the countdown begins. As the numbers go down, you rapidly reflect on 1986.

The beginning half of the year seemed uneventful compared to the latter in the grand scheme of things. You recall all the highs and lows that you and Eddie have been in together since you first met, when you realized that what you were feeling was more than it should ever be and how you’ll likely never get the chance to do so.

But you also reflect on the wonderful new friends that you’ve made, including Wayne, who you hoped was having a good night with Ben. And the younger boys, who said they were going to the hospital to spend the new year with Lucas and Max.

Only a few seconds remain, so you turn to face Eddie, whose eyes were still on the small screen. An idea came across your mind. You pucker your lips, gearing up to plant a fat kiss on his cheek once the ball dropped. You were sure we would be embarrassed getting a cheek kiss in front of his friends, but doubted he could keep a grudge long.

As the room cheered at the end of the countdown, you closed your eyes and leaned in.

But you instantly knew something was off once your lips made contact. Instead of the textured skin you were expecting, you felt softness against your lips.

And when you opened your eyes, you were met with chocolate brown ones looking right back at you. Eyebrows raised into bewilderment, it took you a few seconds to process what was happening.

Then it hits you.

You were kissing Eddie. And he wasn't stopping you.

thank you for reading!

a/n: hello! I wanted to make all of the readers of this series aware that I have decided to change up the direction I’m going with it. I feel like I’m straying away from some important elements and I want to try and regroup starting from part 6 and onwards. I plan on keeping some plot points I previously had planned, but they may just be executed differently than I intended. I dont believe the changes will have an affect on the story so far, but still felt that I should mention it.

Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I hope to have the next part out here sooner than later <3

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fan fic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson st #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #disabled!eddie munson #disabled!eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie st

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maxxxineminxxx · 1 year

Text

I wanna be more || eddie munson

Part two : https://www.tumblr.com/maxxxineminxxx/731064587980521472/i-wanna-be-more-part-2-eddie-munson

warnings : jealousy, angst, fluff and cursing.

paring: y/n x Eddie Munson

summary: Y/n tells Eddie she wants to join the cheer squad he has a bad reaction at first but then he calms down. y/n thinks everything is fine until she sees her replacement standing at eddies locker. they look close?

a/n : I'm thinking about uploading a part two but i kind of hate this lmao.

In the halls of school, you tuned out the chatter of passing faces, finding solace within your close circle of friends, Hellfire. They were your everything, your unbreakable bond. Yet, starting senior year, you’ve felt like you need more experiences and friends. This is why you have chosen to join the cheerleading team. Since forever you’ve wanted to be a cheerleader, to rally for your team at sports events, and soak in the electrifying atmosphere. This final year of high school arrives and your determined to make the most out of every moment. Your just not sure how well Eddie is going to react once you tell him.

The noisy cafeteria buzzes with activity as you find a seat. The clatter of trays, the hum of conversation, and the occasional burst of laughter create a lively atmosphere. You settle into your seat at the lunch table, greeted by the familiar faces of your friends. The conversation flows around you, but your mind is preoccupied with the weight of the news you need to share with Eddie. You take a deep breath, trying to find the right moment. As you engage in the conversation you steal glances at Eddie, searching for the right opening. Finally, as the conversation dips into a lull, you catch Eddie's eye and motion for him to join you for a moment. Taking another deep breath, you prepare to share the news with him, hoping for understanding and support.

“WHAT?’’ Eddie screams across the cafeteria. Yeah, you figured he wasn't going to take this well.

“I want to try out new things Eds” you explain to him with pleading eyes hoping he understands.

You've observed Eddie's feelings towards the cheerleaders, and it's clear he's had negative experiences with them in the past. However, there's a glimmer of hope in Chrissy, who stands out as a kind and considerate person. You hold onto this as you approach Eddie. To explain that they are not all bad.

“I know what you're thinking, you're thinking I'm going to turn into one of them. I promise you I won't ever be like that besides look at Chrissy. She hangs out with them daily and she's as sweet as can be.” He lets out a big sigh and gives you a stern look.

“You are still coming to hellfire, and you have to promise you won't ever miss a meeting or campaign.” He says whilst embracing you into a tight hug. “I’ll come support you at try-outs, I'll even bring a sign.” he laughs and places his hands onto your cheeks. Looking into your eyes adoringly

“It's going to say, go y/n you're a superstar!” he teases, squishing your cheeks together making your lips look like a fish, whilst laughing loudly. You push his hands away and try to run away from him.

“Please god no, you can watch but no signs, cheering or whistling.”

“Whistling?” he says acting confused.

“I know you Eddie Munson and I don't want a peep coming out of that mouth”.

He gestures a zipped mouth. As you resume your seat at the table, the conversation shifts gears towards brainstorming new campaign ideas. The atmosphere becomes more focused and animated, with everyone eager to contribute their thoughts.

The nervous energy in the gymnasium is loud as you enter. However, seeing Eddie's smiling face in the crowd offers a reassuring boost of confidence. His presence is a source of comfort, and you know that he's there to support you.

To your surprise, the girls on the team welcome you warmly. They shower you with compliments on your appearance, instantly putting you at ease. Their kindness and willingness to help with the choreography made me feel welcomed. It’s a pleasant surprise to encounter such a supportive and friendly group.

As you begin to practice and interact with the team, you realize that this experience might be more enjoyable and fulfilling than you initially thought. The positive atmosphere and warm reception from everyone make you feel like your part of a team that genuinely cares about one another. This realization boosts your confidence and eases any remaining nerves.

You got accepted to be on the team and you ran straight to eddie.

“Guess who's a cheerleader now?” you said , buzzing with excitement.

Eddie's excitement is contagious, and without a moment's hesitation, he pulls you into a tight embrace. You can feel his genuine happiness radiating through the hug, and it's as if the world spins around you both. Laughter bubbles up from both of you, filling the gymnasium with a light and joyous energy. He whispered a million congratulations in your ear. As we pulled away from the hug He looked like he had something on his mind. Something important to tell you but he quickly shook the expression off and went back to congratulating you.

“We should celebrate over milkshakes, my treat okay?” he said, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. You looked up at him with a smile, the kind of smile you made whenever you were about to cause trouble. ”Race you to the car” you said, running out of the gymnasium and sprinting to the car. Suddenly, you feel strong hands on your waist, and before you know it, you're lifted off the ground. You let out a surprised laugh, feeling weightless for a moment. It's Eddie, his laughter mixing with yours as he playfully swings you around. “Gotcha” he whispers in your ear. He opens the passenger door and gestures for you to get in with a bow.

We arrived at benny's burger bar and ordered two chocolate milkshakes

“Carol, you know the one with the short blonde hair, well she invited me to a party to celebrate me joining the team i'm not sure if i'll even go it'll probably just be a bunch of jocks making out ” you rambled on while sipping on your milkshake, he let out a loud laugh causing everyone in the diner to look at us. After he composed himself he finally spoke.

“Maybe go for an hour then see how you feel and if you're not having fun or something happens call me okay. please?” he grabbed your hand from across the table giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I will, I promise.” You stayed silent for a moment

‘’You know you could always come with me” “nope” “eddie come on please” “not happening sweetheart” you crossed your arms and gave him a defeated look with a pout

you could tell he was trying to hold in his laughter.

The evening continues in a warm and comfortable manner. Eddie pays for the milkshakes, a gesture that makes you grateful. As you leave the diner, you walk hand in hand, a familiar and affectionate gesture between you two. It's not the first time that people have mistaken you for a couple, but you're both used to it by now. Eddie would always brush it off when someone would ask if the two of you were together but you couldn't help but want him to say yes. You wanted him to want you as something more than just his best friend.

The drive back is filled with easy conversation and shared laughter. Eddie drops you off at your house just in time for your curfew, a small but thoughtful detail that shows how much he cares. Eddie's thoughtfulness has always been a defining trait in your friendship. It's those extra gestures, like paying for milkshakes or making sure you get home on time, that make him stand out. It's not just about the big moments, but also the small, thoughtful gestures that make you feel valued and cherished in your friendship with Eddie. Like when you were young and he would paint your right hand nails with polish because you were still figuring out how to paint with your left hand. So he would try to do it for you, he would always give you the last slice of pizza even if you were full and the way he always made sure you were okay.

The street lights cast a soft, golden glow on the pavement, creating a serene atmosphere. You stand on the doorstep, reluctant to say goodbye after such a wonderful evening. As you bid Eddie goodnight, you're filled with a sense of contentment and gratitude for the special friendship you share. Waving and blowing kisses at him as he drives away.

At times, you found yourself wondering whether Eddie shared the same sentiments you had towards your relationship. You yearned for him to perceive you as something beyond just a friend.

Because every time you pictured yourself with anyone it was always him.

you had not seen Eddie all weekend, normally he would call or come over but not this weekend apparently. You went over to his trailer on Sunday but nobody was home, he normally went out of town with his uncle a couple times of the year so you assumed it was just that.

Entering the school halls, a subtle shift came over you. Adorned in your cheerleading attire to match the other girls, with your hair elegantly curled, you became a beacon of attention. It was as if every gaze was directed towards you, but in a most positive and affirming manner. You walked towards hellfire to say hi, but you were dragged away by carol who started introducing you to the cheerleaders.

“So are you coming to the party tonight? If you are, come to mine before we are all going to get ready together.” she said whilst reapplying her lip gloss.

“Okay yeah I will” you replied buzzing with excitement. She smiled and complimented your hair. You felt overjoyed at this new attention you were getting.

Turning towards Eddie's locker you saw a girl standing beside him she had a hellfire shirt on, loads of piercings and raven black hair. Eddie hand his hand on her waist and was smiling brightly at her. All of the hellfire members were staring at her as if she hung the moon.

You felt a wave of hurt rush over yourself. Carol turned to you and followed your gaze. Along with Olivia and Layla who were very close with carol and were also on the team.

“that’s the new girl Olivia was talking about I think her name is Roxanne or something. Apparently she’s a total loser, Wouldn’t be surprised.” Carol said with a laugh.

"apparently they have been seen hanging out all weekend" Layla said as she looked at the pair with disgust

“I heard she’s joining hellfire, which is like the worst thing you could ever do no offense y/n” Olivia said whilst fixing her hair. “Your pretty so you can get away with the whole nerdy thing” she slammed her locker shut.

“Yeah, some of us aren’t that lucky” carol said staring at Roxanne with a smirk.

As the bell echoed through the halls, you said bye to the girls and quickly rushed off to the bathroom. Fixing your hair and reapplying your lip-gloss. You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror replaying the scene you had just seen. Why was he looking at her like that. Shes why he didnt call.

You hadn't really seen Eddie all day except once at lunch. He was avoiding you and you knew that because every time you would walk up to him to say hi he would bolt the other way. He was sitting with hellfire at their lunch table, all of them laughing together. your heart swelled with relief as you caught sight of him. There he stood, a beacon of happiness, his face lit up with a radiant smile that seemed to chase away any lingering doubts or worries. It was as if his joy was contagious, enveloping the space around us with a warm and inviting glow. He was talking to Gareth and throwing his head back with laughter, but as you walked over to the table, you noticed her sitting next to him. In your spot. So, you did what any mature teenage girl would do. And instead of confronting her.

you walked straight past the table and headed over to the jocks table. Deciding to sit with them instead because when the cheerleaders saw you walk towards their table their smiles grew and they made space for you to sit with them. You felt wanted and included here. you looked over at Eddie and to your surprise he was already looking at you. Your smile faded once you saw his expression. He looked hurt. You saw Roxanne holding onto eddies arm and you looked away.

Were they dating? No way its been like 3 days. Maybe they have known eachother for longer? where did they even meet? why did he like her? You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice Chrissy talking to you.

“y/n are you even listening right now” Layla another cheerleader said with a pout as she stared at you waiting for you to reply. “Yeah, sorry what were you guys saying?”

“Does my hair look flat” they all said in union. You shook your head fighting the urge to laugh.

Turning your gaze back to Eddie, you observed him and Roxanne sharing a moment of genuine happiness. Their laughter danced through the air, painting the scene with vibrant hues of joy. You watched as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and winked at her. you needed to get over this crush now.

but you missed the way that when you looked away from Eddie his gaze and attention was all on you.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie x you #eddie x fem!reader #stranger things s4 #stranger things #stranger things 4

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lyjen · 6 months

Text

Keep things casual

Summary: After a night out with the team, (y/n) and Evan end up hooking up. But when after a year, she shows up to Chris’ birthday party with a baby, it raises questions for Evan.

Request by: anonymous - The request

9-1-1 masterlist

Taglist: I was thinking of starting a taglist, so if you want to be tagged leave a comment or tell me in “Ask me a question”! ( @oliviah-25 @shauna-carsley )

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“Bye Eds!” (Y/n) called out as Eddie stepped out the back of the uber car they were squeezed in. “Get home safe, and text me when you’re home.” Eddie says as he pointed out a finger to his sister. “I promise.” She spoke as Eddie gave her hand a little squeeze. “Bye guys” and with that, Eddie closed the door he was holding open.

Now there were two of them. Evan and (Y/n) were sitting in the back of the uber car. They had drunk way too much to drive themselves home safe and sound.

Eddie and the team were having drinks at their standard firefighter bar, and Eddie invited his little sister to meet the team. He talked constantly about his little sister, and how she was his best friend. So they told Eddie to invite his sister to the bar. Normally, she wouldn’t do it, she wasn’t a fan of social events, but when Eddie begged her to come she couldn’t say no.

“I really should stop drinking this much, I never know what my limit is.” Evan spoke as he pressed his palms against his head. (Y/n) just laughed at what Evan just said. And continued staring outside. She liked the way Evan talked so passionately about his work and the team he worked with. From the stories she had heard tonight, she could tell that he was an impulsive and compassionate person.

(Y/n) lived about 5 minutes from her brother’s house, she was next on the drop off list. The five minute drive was silent, but not awkward.

When the car pulled to a stop, (Y/n) unbuckled her seatbelt and her eyes fell on those ocean blue eyes. “Can I walk with you?” Evan’s soft, low voice asked when he saw her reaching for the door handle. “Sure” she smiled as her eyes met Evan’s.

They both got out of the car, Evan waited a second for (Y/n) to walk next to him as they made their way towards the apartment building (Y/n) lived in.

“This is me” she said as she got out her keys from her little bag she had with her. Evan leaned with the left side of his body against the concrete wall of the hallway. She had a lot of keys on her keychain. (Y/n)’s hands fumbled for the right key to open her front door, but she accidentally dropped her keys to the ground. “Shit” she mumbled as she squatted down to grab the keys from the floor. She was clumsy, but Evan thought it was adorable. He had heard enough stories from Eddie to know what she would be like, and clumsiness was one of those things.

“I’m sorry-” she felt so stupid that it was taking her so long to open the door. But when she got back up from grabbing the keys from the ground, her breath was taken away by Evan. Evan crashed his lips against hers, as he slightly pressed two fingers underneath her jawline, and softly pushed it up to meet his height.

She moved one of her hands to the back of his neck and let her fingers get tangled on the short curls at the back of his head. Evan’s hand slid down to her lower back as he pressed her closer to his body.

“I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to come inside.” (Y/n) whispered when their lips parted and she could still feel Evan’s warm breath flowing against her skin. Evan smiled at her reaction. “I already thought you didn’t want this night to end.”

Evan pulled back his hand from her lower back as she turned to the door, to finally open it. When she finally found the right key to open her apartment door, she slid it in and turned the key to unlock it.

She took his hand, stepped inside and Evan followed her with a small smile on his face, and he closed the door behind him. Evan stepped closer to her as he placed his hand on her cheek. And pressed his lips against hers once again.

“W-we really shouldn’t be doing this” She pulled back her head, and shook it as she pushed Evan away from her. “This feels.. wrong.” she continued after he gave her a confused look.

She wanted him too, just as much as Evan wanted her. Why was she suddenly so scared?

Evan’s left hand was still resting on her waist. “I mean, nobody has to know. It’s not like we’re married after this.” Evan took a step closer, trying to close the distance between the two of them which (Y/n) created. ”Let’s just.. keep things casual.” he continued his proposal.

Her eyes switched every few seconds from his eyes to his lips, god she felt like a teenager again. Her stomach filled with jitters. With the second Evan’s lips came closer, it was almost like he tried to seduce her. Barely an inch away, he stopped. Their noses were almost touching, she could feel his warm breath floating over her lips.

Her breathing became shallow. “You’re right. Screw it.” she panted as she laid her hands on either side of his jacket and pulled him close.

Evan nudged (Y/n) backwards until her back hit the wall and he pressed his body against hers like he wanted to merge into her. He pinned his other hand next to her head against the wall.

She let her hands slide to the back of his neck as Evan’s hands slipped from her waistline down to her bum. He sends kisses down her neck, which send shivers down (Y/n)’s spine.

His hands wandered down to the back of her thighs, he lifted her up until she got the memo and secured her legs around his hips. (Y/n)’s arms gripped his shoulders even tighter when she felt his lips to the side of her neck, starting to leave a mark.

“Where’s your bedroom actually?” his voice asked when he realized he didn’t know which way to go. (Y/n) let out a laugh in the crook of his neck, typically Evan. His skin tickled at the laughs he received. “Down the hall on the right”

“Good. Now where were we?”

_______

“Eddie, you’ve got to be kidding me. You have got to stop calling me. I’m literally three minutes out.” (Y/n) spoke when she tapped on the green coloured phone icon on her car kit. Eddie had called her over three times already today, he just wanted to make sure she was okay and that she was coming down to LA with her son.

(Y/n) was Eddie’s favorite sister, They had a three years age difference, and two older sisters. But the bond between Eddie and (Y/n) was different.

“I know. I’m sorry, just wanted to make sure you’d actually show up.” Eddie answered her as he laughed. (Y/n) shook her head at Eddie’s reaction, he knew her too well. When they were younger, sometimes she would say she would come to a party or just hang out with friends. But when the time would come, she would cancel her plans.

Now that she was older, she actually managed to push herself more and more out of her comfort zone. Yes, she was sometimes still afraid of the unknown, but it was less than it used to be. She would still feel awkward in situations with new people, but she knew how much it meant to Eddie and Chris if they came down to LA.

The drive wasn’t very long, maybe two hours tops. But it was a lot with a three-month- old in the backseat. (Y/n)’s eyes shot to her rear view mirror and a smile was projected on her face when she saw her son’s eyes fluttering around the car, safe and sound in his car seat.

“So you’re almost here?” Eddie asked for confirmation. (Y/n) smiled as she shook her head. “Yes! I’m on my way.” she sighed as she focussed on the Los Angeles traffic right in front of her. “Oh come on!” she yelled at the car who was in front of her, driving with the speed of a snail as she pushed the horn. “You seriously need to work on those anger issues.” (Y/n) could hear her brother laugh through the phone. “It’s called road rage. I seriously don't know how you do this every single day.” she sighed. Her eyes fluttered towards the rearview mirror once again when Archie’s cries sounded through the car.

“I’m sorry for calling this much. Chris is so excited to see you and Archie again, he has been talking constantly about the two of you.” Eddie said, which put a smile on (Y/n)’s face. “It’s okay, but Eds, I have to go now. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” She wanted to cut off the phone call as soon as possible. “Alright, see you soon” Eddie says, and she pressed the red button to disconnect their call.

“It’s okay Archie, It will only take a few minutes.” (Y/n) tries to calm down her son with the sound of her voice. He was probably hungry, he’d always get grumpy if he got his food a few minutes later than usual. “For fuck sake.” she cursed as the line of cars she was in stepped on their brakes. The cries of Archie became louder and louder.

(Y/n) tried her best to stay focussed on the road. But when the crying suddenly stopped, she looked in the mirror to see what was happening. Did he fall asleep that fast again? A shiver rolled down her spine, her eyes scanned the face of the three month boy as she looked in the baby mirror.

Panic built up inside her chest when she saw her son crying, but he was turning red.

“No no no no” this was not happening. She quickly turned her car to the right as she parked it on the sidewalk. (Y/n) unbuckled her seatbelt, took the key out of the contact and shoved her door open. She opened the back door where her son was seated in the small car seat as she panicked and started examining him.

Was he choking? What was he choking on? “Baby what’s happening?!” (Y/n) spoke frustrated when she couldn’t remember or find anything he could be choking on. She didn’t know what to do.

(Y/n) was literally two streets away from the firehouse where Christopher’s birthday party was. She knew Chris would get upset if she came in screaming for help. But this was the best option she had. The Los Angeles traffic wasn’t moving and she couldn't just drive over the sidewalk to get her kid there.

She didn’t have time to think, or she already unbuckled Archie from his little car seat and pressed him against her body. With her right foot she kicked the car door closed and she started running.

With her left hand she pressed Archie’s head against her shoulder so his head wouldn’t bump against her body so he wouldn't hurt himself. Her right hand was placed on his lower back, also pressing him against her body. She could feel Archie’s body trying to gasp for air, his little body was shocking against hers.

Tears were running down her face as she tried to run as fast as her legs could carry her.

Oxygen was burning down her airways as she was sprinting down the pavement, she desperately wanted to soothe Archie, telling him that they were getting the help he needed. But she had to save her air, to give her more energy to run.

As soon as she ran through the big red giant garage doors, which were opened. She screamed for help with the last bit of air she had left. “Please help me!” she cries as her eyes scanned the firehouse, looking for someone to help her out.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” her brother’s voice called out as he rushed down the stairs with a few colleagues following him.

“H-he can’t breathe” she stuttered, desperately gasping for air.

Eddie took over his nephew from his sister’s hands and laid him down to the floor. Archie’s lips were turning blue. (Y/n) glanced at her son, but when she saw those blue lips. A feeling of guilt and failure rushed through her stomach. How could this happen? What was happening to her child? “Pulse is low” Eddie concluded as he pressed his fingers to the neck of his nephew.

Frustrated, she let her hand go through her hair, pulling the strands which were lost, to the back of her head. She was looking at her brother and colleagues, trying to figure out what was happening to her child. She quietly sobs, as she desperately tries to calm down her breathing.

Hen took place on the other side of Archie. The eyes of the three months old started to turn to the back of his head and loses consciousness. “Sounds like a breath holding spell” Eddie looked at Hen to get her opinion on it.

They couldn’t do anything about it, they couldn’t help Archie with breathing. “W-what are you doing? Why aren’t you helping him?” (Y/n) asked when Eddie and Hen stopped examining her son.

Eddie looked at Hen, silently asking if she could keep an eye on Archie so he could explain to his sister what was going on. Hen nodded, at his silent question as she kept her eyes on the baby.

Eddie stood up straight and clicked his spine back into place as he slowly walked towards his sister who was still in panic mode. “It’s okay” Eddie spoke as he came closer and put his hands on both her upper arms and started running them up and down to try and comfort her.

“It’s a breath holding spell, that’s what is happening.” Eddie says. “I-I don’t understand” she cries as she tries to get her breathing under control.

“A breath holding spell is when a child holds their breath after being frustrated or angry. When they’re older, it can be on purpose to get your attention. But since Archie is only three months old, this has to be involuntary.” Eddie explains the situation to his little sister. “But why aren’t you doing anything to help him breathe?” Her hand went towards her eyes, trying to keep herself together.

“The thing is, when a child passes out they have to come back around after a few seconds, or a minute. He will start breathing on his own.” Eddie reassured her and gave her shoulder a little squeeze. A baby cry sounded through the space of the firehouse, as Archie gained consciousness again. “There you go” Hen spoke as she picked up the baby boy from the ground and let him rest in her arms.

“See. He’s going to be okay.” Eddie gave his sister a small smile, as Hen handed Archie over to (Y/n).

______

For minutes, hours, (Y/n) succeeded in avoiding Evan at the birthday party from Chris. When the most terrifying moment of her life was happening, Evan was there for Chris to keep him calm and distract him from whatever was happening down stairs.

(Y/n) tried her best to keep talking with people, and not to glance at Evan like she was hiding something from him. But whenever her eyes wandered back to Evan, he looked back at her. As if he knew she was looking at him.

“I’ll be right back.” (Y/n) told her brother as he was holding Archie in his arms, with Chris hovering over him.

(Y/n) stood up and grabbed the diaper bag as she made her way towards the kitchen. It was time for Archie to be fed.

She put the bag on the kitchen counter as she got out the powder, a small feeding bottle and a thermos flask. When she started putting the powder into the bottle, she flinched at the voice that made its way through her eardrums. She squeezed her eyes closed, she wanted to avoid this conversation so badly.

“Hey. Can we talk?” Evan quietly asks as he walks into the kitchen. “Kinda busy here.” She answered as she grabbed the thermos flask and started to pour water until she reached the right amount of water.

Evan folded his arms over one another. “Please?” He leaned his lower back against the kitchen counter as he watched her making the bottle for Archie. (Y/n) could feel the eyes burning in the back of her head, but she didn’t turn around and started mixing the texture of the bottle.

“Why didn’t you ever call me back after… that night?” Evan sighed after a moment of silence. She stopped and put down Archie’s bottle on the counter, placing it right in front of her. She leaned with her palms on the counter “I thought we agreed on keeping things casual between us. It was a one time thing, nothing more, nothing less.” She tried to keep her voice as low as possible, she didn’t want to start any drama at the moment. They were at Chris' birthday party.

“Yeah and I thought, If I had gotten you pregnant. You would tell me. Right?” Evan spoke as he turned his head to the right, trying to make eye contact with (Y/n). She stayed silent, as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she spoke as she pressed her lips into a thin line and continued checking the temperature of the substance inside of the bottle on her wrist.

He moved to stand next to her, leaning his right hip against the kitchen counter. “Shit that’s way too hot” she mumbled as she placed a few drops of the milk onto her wrist. But when she wanted to move towards the sink, Evan grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from the conversation she clearly didn’t want to have.

Evan wanted to answer what (Y/n) had just told him. But when Evan realized they were kind of causing a scene, Evan kept a hold of (y/n)’s wrist and led her towards the stairs. “Where are we going?” he didn’t say anything, as he walked down the stairs. Not letting go of her wrist as he opened the locker room door and spun her inside as he closed the door behind him.

“Come on (Y/n). I’m not stupid. How old is Archie again?” Evan asked as he once again tried to make eye contact with her. (Y/n)’s eyes were stuck on the bottle she was still holding in her hand. She was too scared to look Evan in the eyes, and tell him the truth.“Three months” she whispered.

Evan’s eyes grew wide at her answer. His gut feeling was telling him the right thing. “Jesus (Y/n)” Evan’s voice sounded disappointed. “You’re unbelievable.” Evan continued as he pressed his fingers against his head, trying to process the information he just received.

“I swear Evan, I was planning on telling you.” (Y/n) said as she tried to make eye contact while Evan rubbed his forehead with his fingers. “I-I just didn’t know how” she went on.

“You’ve had nine months to tell me that you were pregnant. Hell, when were you planning on telling me? When he turned what, eighteen?” Evan was furious, his head was pounding because the truth was finally coming out.

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” her voice whispered at Evan as she started fidgeting with the bottle of Archie in her hands.

“Then why didn’t you tell me, you know I would’ve been there for you.” Evan tried to calm himself back down.

“I didn’t tell you because I was scared Evan.” She took a step closer as she tried to make eye contact again with those ocean blue eyes. “Scared of what? My reaction?” He didn’t get it. She could’ve just reached out, and they would’ve figured it out, together.

“Your opinion.” she sighed. “M-my opinion?” he stuttered, as he confused looked her back in the eye. “What if a one night stand told you she had gotten pregnant, and she actually told you she wanted to keep the baby because they told her she couldn’t have children.” she pressed her lips into a thin line.

Evan didn’t have the words to answer, so he remained silent.

“Yeah, exactly.” (Y/n) said as she didn’t get an answer. She walked around Evan towards the door and just when she wanted to open the door to leave the locker room, his voice spoke up.

“Did Eddie know? About me and you?” he suddenly asks over his shoulder. (Y/n) stopped in her tracks as she held her head down, should she tell him the truth? Since a bomb already bursted?

She turned back to Evan as she let go of the glass door. Evan spun on his heels to face her again. She bit her lower lip as she nodded. “Yes. He knows it’s yours.” she admitted. “Who else knows?” he quickly asked after that.

Her hand nervously scratched the back of her head, and a sigh fell off her lips. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know, he didn’t need any words to confirm that there were people who knew that he was the father of (Y/n)’s child.

“Who else knows (y/n)?” He repeated his question. She started picking her skin on her fingers. “Bobby? Hen? Chimney? Come on, spit it out.” Evan had to try and pull out the answer out of her.

She faced the ceiling of the locker room as she sighed once more, trying to gain every piece of confidence she had left. “Chimney and Maddie.” she spoke out. Evan’s eyes grew wide as he heard his own sister's name fall off her lips.

“That’s just.. that’s great.” Evan said as he started pacing through the locker room.

“I’m so sorry Evan.” was the only thing she could bring out. There weren’t enough words to describe the feeling she had right then and now.

When she wanted to turn away, to walk out of the door again, Evan sighed. “You know how often I wrote a text message, but never sended it to you? You know how much I've thought about you, about us. That night.” Evan confessed.

“Just know you weren’t just a one night stand to me.” (Y/n) let her hand rest against the glass door, as she waited for Evan to go on.

“I know we agreed on keeping things casual then, but god I wanted so much more. And I still do. I let you slip through my fingers then, but I’m not making that same mistake now.”

“Evan..-” she sighed, there were so many emotions going on right now. He was angry because she didn’t tell him about Archie, the pregnancy, he finally saw her again after one year, and here he was spilling his guts.

He stepped closer. “Tell me to go away. And I will go.” Evan said as he closed the distance between the two of them, their chests barely touching. She stayed silent.

She missed Evan, the way he talked, the way he would look at her like she was his drug and the way he touched her.

Evan’s fingers slightly brushed against hers. She could feel her breathing become heavy again. Their eyes connected as she looked up at the firefighter when he put a strand of hair behind her ear.

Before she could even process it, her lips crashed against his. It was like her body was moving faster than her brain. As if it had its own mind. His touch made (Y/n) want to melt right there on the spot. The way he kissed her made her feel like she was floating.

“Keeping things casual, right? You can stripe that one off of your list” Evan panted against her lips. “Shut up” she mumbled, and she pressed her lips even harder against his lips that were curled into a smile.

#911 #911 fox #911 abc #911 imagine #buck imagine #buck x reader #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley x reader #evanbuckley #imagine

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