#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[ariespellz]

hand holding hcs !!

ft. genshin guys + gn!reader

includes: diluc, xiao, albedo, thoma, zhongli, itto, kaeya, childe.

one, two, three.

cw: fluff, established relationship, me simping (kinda), mentions of blood and battles, it gets kinda angsty in kaeya's (not too much. god im so in love with him it's unhealthy).

A/N: THEM!!! also this got progressively more informal KDHZJSBS sorry abt that lol. and sorry for having parts longer than others ://

DILUC

top tier hand holding. bless his soul.

his hands are warm due to his vision. they're big and strong, and his palms are a bit rough.

he also has some scars, most of them he'd rather not talk about.

"just... and accident" he'd reply softly, clearing his throat.

some others are from small falls he had as a kid, or from training.

he doesn't like the scars at all, so if you were to tell him something positive about them, his cheeks would turn pink (please compliment them).

he's not the fondest of PDA but hand holding is one of the few things he'll do in public

when it's just the two of you it's better, though. he'll take his gloves off and smile when you interlace his fingers in yours :'))

you know the rubbing thumb thing?? yeah he does that

it's just something ingrained in his brain, really. his father did it when he was only a child, taking walks with him through the forest whenever the adult had some time to spare.

to him, hand holding is sacred. it just feels so intimate in a way he can't quite describe. fingers interlocked, little glances you sometimes steal the other, and your light giggles when you catch him.

OH and he's totally the type to lean down and kiss the reverse of your hand

with EYE CONTACT

makes your knees wobbly every. single. time.

and he knows that

so he only does it behind closed doors. to save you from the embarrassment (and totally not because he can't help the smirk tugging at his lips and the small laugh that scapes his lips when you cover your face with the free hand)

(yeah definitely not that)

you were the one initiating the contact the first time.

you see him all suave and mysterious and cool

but the first time you held his hand?? he almost combusts right there

you were walking home after a dinner out. it was your second date together and the opportunity just presented itself when he suggested taking a stroll instead of using a carriage.

and you just... went for it when he accidentally brushed his hand against yours.

you had some mercy and didn't interlace fingers.

but still. WOW. the reaction was immediate. you could hear a sharp breath and a shivering exhale. if it wasn't for the silence that accompanied the night, you were sure you wouldn't have heard it.

but it also was the night and it's darkness that you couldn't clearly see his raging blush. you two were lucky he didn't accidentally set anything on fire.

the redness extended from the apples of his cheeks, to the tip of his ears, to his neck and collarbones.

and the fluttering in his belly, which had been bothering him the entire afternoon, was going wild.

he couldn't LOOK at you. he was scared that you could hear his heartbeat. humiliating.

for him of course. you had the time of your life teasing him (and it was also cute so it's a win-win)

"is something the matter, master diluc?" you ask feigning innocence, a cheeky smile adorning your face "you don't look too good. perhaps you have fever?"

"i am perfectly fine, (y/n). thank you." he muttered through gritted teeth after a long silence. you just giggled in response.

good thing he didn't get to see the flush adorning your face, and how you had to bite back the loving sigh that threatened to leave your lips.

archons. you were down bad.

XIAO

he won't initiate it but he won't stop you either (a.k.a he's too proud to let you see how soft it makes him)

"you mortals are weird" he scoffs. you don't fail to notice that he doesn't even try to pull away.

and that he won't meet your gaze.

his hands are so pretty omg. slender fingers that would look delicate if it wasn't for the sheer strength they have.

that's one of the reasons he's hesitant to touch you.

PDA with him is non existent. zero. maybe some acts or service, or the obvious way he favours you over anyone else present.

but there won't be a single touch that could confirm that.

(you swear you can see zhongli smirking behind his cup of tea, eyes flickering between the two of you full of amusement. oh, and archons forgive that hu tao's there, ready to point out the way his gaze softens when he hears your voice.)

the lack of contact in front of others is nothing to get worried over

it's just that he's kinda clueless when it comes to affection.

specially physical one.

but he's willing to try just to see you happy.

you don't initiate much either, considering how private he is.

to be completely honest, if he allows you to freely touch him without any grumbling (let alone hold his hand) it means that he's completely and absolutely smitten

you're the only one he could ever commit to. someone whose only purpose is to kill, to harm, to get his hands stained with blood. the same ones you're now cradling in yours, brushing your thumb lovingly over his knuckles, after practically begging him to take off his gloves, just to feel him.

"these hands have taken countless lives" he says, voice stern "why would you want to hold them?"

and he looks so genuinely confused.

golden eyes, perfect porcelain skin, teal hair moving with the breeze, watching the sunset in wangshuu inn's roof.

he feels himself melt. muscles relaxing for the first time in centuries.

and the way he looked at you, even if it was just for a moment. so full of love. so full of devotion.

you may or may not have had to sneakily dry a tear after that.

ALBEDO

hmm

he's a wild card

maybe because he doesn't really care

it's not like he dislikes it (not at all) it's just that it feels so casual, so natural to him that he doesn't see the point in lingering in the thought for too long.

his hands are perfect. they were carved to be like that, after all.

soft palms, slender fingers, and clean, perfect nails.

his digits grazing your skin feel like kisses covering every inch they touch.

even if the gesture isn't a big deal for him, it feels comforting. he won't really hesitate to take your hand in his while walking around dragonspine, or while taking a stroll in the city.

he silently slides his digits between yours. the usual between you two. you were taking a different path home today, after an afternoon in his lab.

"so you don't get lost" he says. you know that's not the real reason, but no words are needed.

he was the one who suggested it first.

"just to see how it feels" or some bullshit excuse like that.

lies. it was because he read it in a romance book LMAO

don't even get me started on how kaeya wouldn't stop mercilessly teasing him about it after he caught him reading it. twice.

"this is nice. we should do it more often" he suggests with a straight face.

your lips inevitably quirk upwards.

"yeah," you mutter, feeling your face heat up "we should."

he likes it. that's it.

not a big deal.

but, just a secret between you and me...

...he'd only ever do it with you

ZHONGLI

average hand holding enjoyer

seriously though. this man will NOT let go of your hand

(unless you ask ofc. but you probably won't lol)

going for a walk around liyue harbour? he's holding your hand. filling paperwork for a funeral? he's holding your hand with his free one. dinner out? hand holding OVER THE TABLE‼️ the waitress is swooning (it was me. i was the waitress/hj)

what can i say. a gentleman.

he's so natural with PDA, too. does not give a single fuck about who's watching.

oh and HIS HANDS

lord have mercy

we must stay focused brothers

they're strong and veiny, but also slim at the same time. for someone who as slaughtered hundreds, if not thousands, he has a surprisingly low amount of marks.

he heals fast. he's a god.

you may notice a few scratches if you look closely, but that's about it. he doesn't hesitate to tell you the full story if you ask for it.

"oh, that one?" he let out a low chuckle "it was a long time ago..."

yeah, get ready. he likes to ramble.

but his stories are interesting and you love to listen, sooo

just like diluc, he's 1000% the type to kiss the back of your hand.

he'll lean down, golden eyes boring through yours, digits holding your hand in place, and place a chaste kiss right in the middle.

dancing with him ugh<3

as stated before, he does NOT hesitate to do it in public. if hu tao or childe are there, get ready.

anyway back to the point.

he also does the thumb rubbing thing.

i don't know how to describe it but his hands are always the right temperature.

you'd have to be the one to do it the first time.

it's not that he doesn't want to, its more of a what if you don't want to.

so, you were walking around liyue harbour, and it was really busy

he's really tall, so you would've been able to find him if you two got separated

but it was the perfect opportunity to grab his hand.

when you suggested it he smiled softly and let you decide how you wanted it.

"the scenery is beautiful today, isn't it?"

"indeed, it is" he answered. he, however, could only look at you.

probably one of the best hand holders in teyvat ngl.

THOMA

OH

THIS ONE

THIS ONE RIGHT HERE

your hand is always entangled with his

but it's less casual and more... passionate

going for walks in the nature, he'll interlock your fingers with his

he'll kiss the back of your hand, yeah, but hear me out:

he'll kiss your palm while looking at you in the eye.

dunno about you jut i'd just MELT

oh and going around through the market, buying groceries?? you WILL dangle your conjoined hands back and forth

it's so cute PLS the vendors have a heartache every time they see you two.

(honestly same)

he's a PDA guy. he's a private person, as extroverted as he can be, but he loves showing you off because he knows you're so cool and great and yadda yadda yadda

he also knows your worth

also!! imagine having a hotpot with the kamisatos at komore teahouse.

he's ambidextrous (a hc of mine) so he'll hold his chopsticks in one hand and yours in the other.

ayaka is practically fantasizing and sighing adoringly while ayato is being a dick teasing you

"my, thoma! i didn't take you for a showoff" ayato says. "when's the wedding?"

ayaka lightly taps his thigh, annoyance written all over her face. thoma just chuckled, tightening his grip.

his hands are rough thanks to all the work, but still delicate in some way. careful and precise, long fingers and veiny forearms. he also manages to always have his nails perfect?? clean and the right length.

same as diluc, his vision makes them warm.

he initiated it the first time.

"can i hold your hand, (y/n)?" he asked. it was your first date and he had just picked you up. nothing too formal, just a walk around the city at night.

your heart was racing, and you were sure your palms were sweaty.

and his emerald eyes flickered nervously, not quite connecting with yours

and his beautiful smile was trembling a bit with excitement

and his cheeks and the tip of his ears were colored pink

"sure, i'd love to." you couldn't contain the happy giggle that scaped your lips because oh my god you were holding thoma's hand.

another one who does the thumb thing

ladies, gentlemen and nobles of the court he is the PERFECT MAN. his hand holding will make you ascent to celestia.

ITTO

he's a passionate one that's for sure

sometimes he's a bit too passionate, and you have to ask him to calm down (otherwise he might just break your hand lmao)

oni stuff we don't get it

his hands are huge, and warm, and full of scars, and nghhh please i wanna hold his hand and kiss the marks

most of them are from doing dumb shit lol

shinobu always gets you to treat his scratches because she knows he won't resist you (an that he actually listens to you)

big PDA guy.

he OWNS it

he could make out with you in the middle of a busy street as long as you wanted him to

so it goes without saying that his hands are ALWAYS on you

but he specially loves to hold your hand

it feels so romantic to him hehe <3

it makes him lightheaded and his stomach fill with butterflies

he feels so joyous that he always chuckles when you do it

"so we don't get separated" you'd excuse yourself.

unpopular opinion YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE TO DO IT

yes his love language is physical touch, yes he was shy about it. so what?

you were in a beetle fight, the two of you cheering for your onikabuto to win.

and then...

it did!

you weren't officially dating yet, so kissing him was out of the question (even if you really wanted to, just by hearing his cheery laugh and seeing his adorable smile)

instead, you picked one of his hands with both of yours, looked up to him and thanked him

"see?" he stammered, trying to play it cool "what did i tell ya? the small ones are the best!"

he scratched the back of his head with his free hand, avoiding eye contact. he was a stuttering, babbling mess. face reddened, heartbeat quickening, and hands sweating.

it didn't take him long to ask you out after that.

loves to touch you and loves hand holding. totally worth it.

KAEYA

you'd assume he does it a lot

WRONG

wait not too wrong

he loves to touch you (same as itto, he's all over you) but hand holding somehow feels vulnerable to him

which means it makes him shy

hands holding your waist? cool. an arm draped over your shoulders? nothing out of the ordinary. his palm on your thighs, caressing and grabbing the flesh? how daring! still nothing new.

but your fingers toying with his? his thumb brushing over your knuckles? to feel your grip tighten or soften depending on the mood?

holy shit he's malfunctioning

because yes, he can be a smooth talker. a flirt. someone who's handsome and knows it.

he'll be as cool as a cucumber as long as it's not intimate.

because kaeya's heart its surrounded by an everlasting blizzard. because he's scared of commitment, of intimacy.

because he's scared of attachment, but even more scared of loneliness.

so he'll play it off with lingering touches that feel burning on your skin. with fingertips stoking your back. with a playful kiss on your cheek.

he wants to be liked, but he can't be important.

so when the touch is innocent, genuine, caring. when you allow yourself to wear your heart on your sleeve just for him.

it's when you see past the façade.

"oh." he gasped softly. thank barbatos the street was practically empty. you can feel his muscles tense for a second, but he doesn't waste a second to chuckle and dissimulate it with faux-confidence "feeling needy, aren't we?"

you just roll your eyes. what a guy.

still!! not as big on PDA as you initially assumed. if you're in a flirting/first dates phase, he might be a bit more public.

the moment it becomes official, he's more lowkey.

the grannies and grandpa's of mond remind you two how lucky you are to have each other.

OK OK BACK TO THE POINT

you were the first one to hold his hand (go get him tiger)

diluc had knocked on your door one day at around two in the morning.

"that guy is drunk and i don't want him making a mess" he had said. judging by the look on his face, he meant something like "im worried about him but i don't want him to know".

so, you tidied yourself as much as you could and went to angel's share.

the walk to his home was torture. he would not stop whining with his face in the crook of your neck.

at one point you got frustrated and told him to stop. your voice came out colder than you wanted and you instantly regretted it.

"i'm sorry. please don't leave me."

you heard your heart break. not wanting to push his boundaries, you settled for taking his hands in yours.

"i won't, i promise." you sighed. "let's get you home, then, yeah?"

"...yeah."

needless to say, he had a lot to think about the next day, when he saw you sleeping on his couch.

your response to his vulnerability was what made the difference for him.

CHILDE

childe would love nothing more than to spend his whole life with his hands on you.

but he can't.

PDA with him has to be settled to a minimum. the last thing he wants is to let any of those ten menaces and their minions to know just how important you are to him.

that's why holding hands is the most he'll do in public

when he's sober, at least.

due to the cold, it's the usual in snezhnaya to hold hands. not even in the romantic sense. just another way to maintain the heat.

so he doesn't really see it as something that intimate or relevant.

he does like it, though

specially with you.

he does this thing when he grabs your wrist and expects you to do the rest just so he can tease you for it and 'gaslight you' into believing you were the one holding him

"aw, (y/n), do you really like me that much, hm?

"not this again, please."

#Free(Y/N)

ANYWAYS his hand is always in yours, similar to zhongli or thoma.

unless his co-workers are nearby.

noone really knows who did it first.

you were going for a stroll one day and tried it at the exact same time.

an "accident".

(he saw you staring at his hand and tried to make it less awkward by doing that)

(king shit)

his hands are veiny and also a bit bony?? (is that a thing lol)

slim and long fingers

his palms are softer than you'd expect. he always wears gloves while training

still, he has a lot of scars. mostly cuts and scratches.

contrary to popular belief, he's not fond of his scars. he likes the stories that go behind them, and the experience they give him.

but god forbid that any of his younger siblings see them. specially teucer.

"i think they look good on you" you complimented one day, kissing them one by one. "it's in character of you."

he smiled softly, sliding his digits between yours "i think you look good in everything."

man that was SMOOTH /j

hand holding is a big deal in snezhnaya because of how common it is.

so he'll use it as an excuse not to let you go.

what a dork. i want to marry him.

[xxkeaton-makes-thingsxx]

i really appreciate how well the fandom’s taking in alhaitham and kaveh sometimes - not in a shipping way but just their dynamic

*some slight spoilers to things like archon quests, character stories (and kaveh’s unreleased ones)*

like despite being shown only in the later acts, ive seen a lot more about them than ive seen with other dynamics (debatably on par with zhongchi when they were introduced)

i think theyre just really relatable for many people because i think a lot of the demographic of genshin community are students or young adults and theyve lived through their student days pretty recently and they understand that sometimes, even in the stifling environment of academics, theres also some stupid things that will inevitably come around

like the reasons why they get ticked off by each other is stupid, but i mean, i want to say weve all been through something like that before and its usually pretty harmless and we look back on it and laugh

or the angst that they also had to live through, and i think its shown best in kaveh - living through the high of his life, pursuing his dreams with the palace of alcazarzaray only to have it all crashing back onto him - a period of his life he would rather forget entirely, and has left him struggling to live on his own

of your best efforts, putting your all into what you do, and the harsh reality that its just not enough, just out of your control, and you can’t do anything about it. they show how you can be gifted at something, but also the burdens of it - alhaitham’s undoubtedly a genius, but also practically ostracized for it for his pragmatism and coldness towards others, and regular akademiya students hold him on some pedestal they just can’t reach, contributing more to his ‘robot’ vibe we initially got of him. kaveh has is own problems where despite talented, he’s taken advantage of by others. not necessarily exploited for his talents, but he’s been tricked and held himself back at times just to help others (whether or not its his own fault is a different matter)

the idea of leaving family. while alhaitham lost his parents, he was essentially brought up by his grandmother and he practically peacefully let go of her, like how children can grow up and parents watch them turn into an adult, support them, and recognize that this time it’s their child’s turn to start their lives, and while his grandmother is no longer present to see through this, it’s still a stark contrast to kaveh’s, specifically his mother. I feel like while it’s his mother that’s the one who moves away during kaveh’s younger years, it’s a lot similar to how parents kick their own children out of their house once they reach adulthood. kaveh isn’t settled into this life of independence or cut ties nicely like alhaitham had, instead, he’s thrown into this world and has to figure things out on his own and bear the burdens of it

anyways thats just my thoughts on the two i just wanted to get this out there because i think hoyo really outdid themselves with this dynamic

(ayato and thoma, despite being that five-star-four-star duo like alhaitham and kaveh didnt really sail as well as these two did but im really happy their dynamic is just so complex)

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hi there Author! I just want you to know that i love the way you write ror stories it really makes my day better. If its ok if i request a story? A bit of angsty if that's ok, its about Poseidon x demi-goddess reader, the reader is a queen of atlantis poseidon married her because Amphitite is a abusive mother and neglects her duty as a queen so he divorce her. The reader was once a human but became a demi goddess because Poseidon turn her like that in order to become a mother to his children and become a queen. They made a contract that states that when Triton poseidon heir turns into a adult they can divorce, reader accepts it but as a time goes by triton and reader developed a special bond like a real mother and son relationship, she also fell in love to poseidon and respect him as a good ruler but not a good husband since poseidon never treats her like a wife more like a business partner. But even though he acts like that the reader treats him well and because of that Poseidon and triton finally experience the family bond that he thought its for the weak gods or human he's still stoic but he care to his son and maybe he think the reader as a trustworthy or equal (and he would never admit it).

After a centuries Triton became an adult and reader is the one who initiates divorce because she couldn't stand a loveless marriage and she wants to do what she wants this time like exploring different places, find a new hobby, and maybe find a man who will love her. Poseidon deny it and find excuses (cause lets be honest he is too prideful and oblivious to his feelings towards the reader). Hades being good a brother in law decided to advise his brother to proper court the reader and tell him that he loves her. At first poseidon denies it until the final straw is when the reader is talking to some human/god and makes the reader smile and laugh cause he is jelouse

This was inspired in manhwa and wattpad. And im sorry if its too long... Im not good at explaining things... Have a good day Author!😊😊😊

-It had been almost five hundred years since you married the coldest god in Valhalla, in a contract marriage.

-Your family and you had been stunned with Poseidon himself asked for your hand in marriage, to help raise his son, Triton, after his ex-wife, Amphitrite, was discovered abusing not only Triton  but her position to gain more power for herself, to overthrown Poseidon.

-Poseidon publicly divorced her, shaming her and announced the crimes she had committed before he secretly killed her himself to avenge his child.

-Your father and Poseidon were friends and allies, and they both knew that you had a bright mind, able to fulfill the duties of a queen and to take care of Triton.

-It was a loveless marriage, a contract marriage, meant for gains, Poseidon would have a queen who would help him rule and Triton would be raised properly with nurturing care.

-The contract drafted out, which you agreed to, would allow for an amicable divorce once Triton came of age, and in turn your family would receive more power in Poseidon’s kingdom.

-The relationship between you and Poseidon was professional, but not cold, you grew to respect and admire Poseidon over the years, as he proved why he was one of the strongest gods out there, he was truly a king. You said nothing of it, but you fell for the stoic king, who you could tell was putting up a harsh demeanor to command respect from others.

-In turn, Poseidon came to respect you, you were a brilliant queen, able to make decisions, plan things out, and together you turned his kingdom into a prosperous empire.

-The relationship between you and Triton was much more public and open, as Triton, while nervous around you at first, came to adore you and you adored him and raised him like a mother should, with so much love, care, and a guiding hand.

-You taught Triton so many things, not just about kingdom affairs and politics, you thought him things that anyone should now, like how to survive out in the wilderness, how to hunt, sew, and you surprised everyone by being the one to train Triton with swords yourself, being an expert yourself.

-Poseidon felt himself soften around you over the years, he saw how happy you made Triton and how happy you made his subjects, so in turn, you made him happy.

-When Triton celebrating becoming an adult, you celebrated with him and Poseidon, Triton actually sweeping you into his arms, dancing joyfully with you which made you smile warmly up at you son.

-You may have not given birth to him, but you raised and loved him, he was your son.

-Poseidon was stunned, the following day after Triton’s coming of age, when you presented him with the divorce papers.

-You were surprised but also a bit confused on why he was so shocked, as he was the one who wanted this in the first place.

-Poseidon tried to deny you, “You are the queen of this kingdom! You’re the one who helped it grow and thrive, why do you want to leave?” he remained silent about the second part, wanting to ask why you want to leave him as he had seen your adoration of him, he knew of your feelings.

-Your hands came to your hips, “I came here to fulfill a duty, one that has been met. Despite helping you make your kingdom thrive, I no longer wish to be in a loveless marriage. I want to go and see my family and find someone who is going to love me!”

-Poseidon was furious, as his pride wouldn’t let him admit his feelings for you, gritting his teeth as you walked out of his life.

-Hades, seeing his younger brother in such a state, when he came to visit, as he knew about the arrangement, offered his advice, “Court her then, show you that you truly do care about her if you don’t want to lose Y/N.”

-Poseidon just grumbled, ignoring the advice until he saw you out in the gardens with Triton, walking around together. When Triton stepped away, another god who had been following you both, approached, giving you a rose.

-When Poseidon saw the smile come to your lips and the color to your cheeks, seeing you happy about getting such gently affection, he walked out, after destroying his desk.

-Hades couldn’t help but grin when he showed up, demanding his elder brother help him.

-When Poseidon approached you while you were sitting in the garden, as you had to wait for him to sign the divorce documents, which he had been ‘forgetting’ to do, with a bouquet of pale pink roses, your favorite, you were stunned.

-He was bright red, not even looking at you, acting so shy as you took the flowers before he walked off, letting out a sigh of defeat as his ears turned red as well.

-That was very unusual for him, seeing him in such a way and you weren’t sure how to feel, he never did anything like that for you in the past five hundred years.

-You found a card in the flowers, with a note from Poseidon, ‘Don’t leave me’ you felt your heart soften, just a bit.

-You were going to remain strong however, if he really wanted you to stay and be his queen, he was going to have to show you that he truly did love you.

-You didn’t need him to do anything publicly, as you knew he was a private person, but he needed to prove to you and you alone, that he wanted to keep you by his side.

-It was definitely a process, as he was quick to learn than your love couldn’t be bought with lavish gifts.

-He turned to both Hades and Triton both, asking for advice and what you liked, swearing both of them to secrecy, but they thought it was amusing to see Poseidon so shy about courting you.

-The small meaningful gestures, written notes with sweet words, thoughtful gifts like pressed flowers, asking you to join him for afternoon tea, those were the things that you appreciated more.

-Poseidon had to learn you were nothing like Amphitrite, spoiled, vain, always wanting more, that was something that Poseidon had come to appreciate, that you didn’t care for him for his power, you cared about him for him.

-You were the one to toss the divorce documents into the fire, shocking him before you gave him a grin, “Don’t think you’ve won yet, handsome. You still got a long way to go.”

-You never mentioned it, but the smile that appeared on his face, one that he thought you didn’t see, made you feel so fluffy inside, before he chased after you, trying to act cool, asking to escort you as his queen shouldn’t be seen without her king.

[roseamongroses]

its called the parker curse not the morales curse 😒

atsv spoilers under cut

ok...jokes aside. after a certain point when miguel was going in on miles, i don't think he was talking about miles anymore.

and to be clear, what he said and how he said it can't be easily taken back--scorched earth yada yada-- so its impact still stands. but if you've ever had an argument as a child with a traumatized + unhealed adult-- it felt like that.

had me sweating in the theatre because you can feel him projecting HEAVY mid-way through. the way he dealt with miles, even before he started the hunt, def felt like he was punishing his past self / trying to stop his past self rather then understand a new situation +person

the assumptions he was making about miles and how he handles multi-dimensional travel, seem to lean heavy on fear. and that makes sense considering his past, but i do think only viewing justice within the lens of fearing what may happen isn't productive in the long run.

they still don't know how these initial dimensional slip ups happen before the collider exploded and bagel guy showed up. (or do they???lol) nor do they know what decides canon and non-canon (i remember the comic book authority approval at the beginning of the film and i wonder if they get mentioned again or if its just a one off joke)

(getting a lil meta there, do you think we'll get a lego movie esq ending next movie???mfkers wake up and realize they're comic book characters)

-

on the conflict

personally i love a good "hero tries to save them all, and realizes their innate limitations" type storyline, but i don't think that's the conclusion they're going for.

for example i thought Pavitr would def get his shit rocked after his spiel about being spiderman being easy and that he's happy. and he did go through something (and probably will go through something else considering he has a living girlfriend )

BUT he was able to reach out for help instead. he couldn't do it all, but he didn't have to. and i think that plot line is just as compelling as him failing outright and dragging himself out of the trenches as a lonely hero.

the "save one person vs. an entire dimension" conflict is interesting because miles is a believer in "why not both". often times with these trolly problem esq. situations, the person who questions the existence of the dilemma is dismissed.

miles is considered naive because he thinks he can "do it all". but i don't think thats the case. miles considers both because despite the trauma, he's been surrounded by a loving community who sees the best in him.

so he knows (consciously or not) that he can do both because he's not alone. he is the lone spiderman, but that doesn't have to be the case. that's why he was so excited for the spider-club cause he thought he wouldn't have to endure alone, but instead he was met with the fact that the club was meant to reaffirm their loneliness rather then circumvent it.

(also the possibility of this franchise introducing other heros later on is something im begging for btw but ik copyright will nuke that)

if miles is an anomaly, the possibility of his events deviating from the norm does exist. miles had the right to question if it was really the only way or if miguel just didn't want to try otherwise. and to be honest im questioning if miles was really the first anomaly considering we don't have all the details about miguel's backstory

-

on comics

what does it mean to be spiderman? to uphold goodness? to be a compelling hero?

For a lot of the characters explored, their justice is tied to their suffering. they are good heros because they've seen the worst and wil. endure the worst and that's what makes them compelling. but with this "new" generation of heroes, that doesn't hold up when we consider intersectional identities and what the audience desires to see from their hero's.

if the audience is already enduring and suffering in their day-to-day lives what can they get out of a story that only reaffirms the daily injustices of their reality. i don't want heros that look like me if they only uphold the status quo "suffer, work, live, be good". that isn't enough. i love me some angst, but what else makes the story compelling???

i read the superhero genre because i want better. I want to be able to fight back, to question, to explore. to stretch the idea of what goodness and justice looks like for communities that are used to being told to accept the bare minimum and just survive.

[sineala]

Superheroes and Aging

Meta time! I was asked (on Patreon) to write meta about how Tony Stark might deal with feelings about aging and being surrounded by The Youth. I am reposting it here.

I have to say this has also been on my mind a lot. I will say it's a weird thing growing up being into comics and being a fan of the teenage X-Men because obviously they were the most relatable and then being as old as all the adult superheroes and now being older than all the adult superheroes, who have all been basically the same age for decades as the rest of us move on past them. At least they finally aged up the original crop of teenage heroes and have been replacing them with new ones.

So the thing about superheroes in Marvel Comics, as you probably know, is that they pretty much don't age. Initially, this wasn't really a thing Marvel worried about. It was the sixties and they'd made comics cool and profitable again and kids loved them and I'm pretty sure they weren't thinking that sixty years later people (grown adults, even!) would still be reading and loving and expanding on the universe they made. Because I think if that had been the case they'd have, say, fewer villains that really sound like someone thought of them in about thirty seconds at 5 pm on a Friday and then went home. Big Wheel, a guy who has a... big wheel. Swarm, a guy (I mean, he's not really... human) who is actually a group of bees. Nazi bees. Paste-Pot Pete. You know what I mean.

Anyway, at first Marvel heroes aged, because why wouldn't they? Despite what you would guess if you only watched adaptations, it only took, I think, a couple years for Peter Parker to grow up and leave high school. The original X-Men all stopped being teenagers. Time moved on. Then after about ten years Marvel figured out it was going to be a problem if their beloved heroes were too old to be superheroes and they more or less halted the aging process. And that's how we get the Marvel Sliding Timescale. Broadly stated, the Sliding Timescale is essentially "don't worry about it." Everything you are reading right now happens right now, the beginning (the FF getting their powers) happened about ten or fifteen years ago (I think right now it's closer to 15 and we're at four RL years = one comics year), and everything else that has ever happened in 616 -- because Marvel also doesn't believe in line-wide reboots -- is wedged in somewhere in the time between. As real time passes, the sliding timescale slides events closer and closer together because more events have now happened.

So the effect of this is that heroes don't age. I think this is actually most notable with child characters -- like, ask yourself how old Franklin and Valeria Richards are. Or don't. I think Dani Cage has been a toddler for about fifteen years now. So the founding Avengers started off in their early 20s, are now in their mid-30s, and are going to continue being in their mid-30s for the foreseeable future because Marvel doesn't want its heroes being over 40. I think there have been a couple IM issues where Tony has had "significant" birthdays that they carefully avoided putting a number on -- I think one was Bendis, and I know he had a surprise party in the Gillen issue with the adoption reveal. I want to say that maybe there was also a Fraction one? I'm not sure.

The time references have occasionally been lampshaded -- the most recent Iron Man issue as I write this (#6) has Tony asserting that he doesn't remember things by what year they happened in, but rather by what armor he had at the time. He goes on to tell a story of something that happened while he wore the Silver Centurion armor, throwing in an aside that the shoulder pads were fashionable then -- and, out of the armor, he is given his usual stylish perm; the artist has definitely been inspired by Bob Layton's later Iron Man work -- which for me has the disconcerting effect of making it sound like this is somehow taking place in the 80s and also not in the 80s at the same time. Because now they've invented an extra time for shoulder pads and perms to be fashionable and it's approximately 2015. Time is fake. No, actually. It is.

And building on that, I think the effect of that is that mostly they don't seem to have characters like Tony dealing with aging. He doesn't really seem to worry about it, probably because there can't be any narrative payoff if he's simply never allowed to age. (Steve gets it even more weirdly, because a lot of times fandom assumes the serum is just going to halt or slow aging -- as it does in people like Natasha who have serum variants -- but then in universes where significant time actually passes, like House of M, Steve is visibly older, and he definitely is meant to have the serum. Or Bullet Points, where Steve, minus the serum, is actually dealing with aging as he comes out of retirement for one last mission. Which kills him, because it turns out he probably was too old to do this safely. But then in 616 we're expected to believe that Steve can lose the serum and also be mostly combat-ready at age 95. Aaanyway.)

So what if Tony did worry about getting older? Based on how he interacts with the kids these days, I think mostly his worry actually wouldn't involve other people.

For all that intelligence in Marvel seems to be a single invariant and quantifiable statistic that can be accurately measured (which isn't the case in reality but work with me here) and that Tony is a genius but not The Smartest Genius in the Universe, he doesn't ever seem to display any ill will toward anyone ranking higher than him on the list -- say, Reed -- and he is in fact definitely willing to take on the younger geniuses, like Riri, as proteges, and he seems happy to mentor them. He doesn't seem to feel at all threatened by the idea that some of these people are definitely smarter than him -- say, Moon Girl -- and will someday succeed him. Or at least will if Marvel ever lets them age out, which again seems unlikely. Theoretically he also ought to be drawing on a lot more lived experience than Riri that he can use to advise her, but one of the bizarre things that Cantwell's run has left us with is Tony believing that giving the Mandarin's Rings to Riri to study with zero oversight is absolutely the right thing to do; Rhodey congratulates him on his great decision-making. I guess we'll see how that turns out.

(This is in contrast to a character like Doctor Doom, who clearly can't stand the idea that Reed might ever be smarter than him.)

Given that Tony is a character who often has execrable self-esteem, it actually seems a little odd that it doesn't bother him that he isn't the smartest, but it really doesn't seem to. He seems fine with that. He's enough of a genius to do what he needs to do, I guess, and that's good enough for him. Even in Cantwell's run, which was, uh, not a run I would call particularly in-character for Tony in many ways, the thing he decides to do with the Power Cosmic is make everyone in New York as smart as he is. I think this was a fairly poor storyline for a large number of reasons, but I think it does actually show that he has good intentions, in a sense -- he wants everyone else to benefit from the intelligence he has, the same way they can benefit from his philanthropy. He wants to give people the advantages he has. So he seems like someone who wouldn't resent the up-and-coming heroes and geniuses; he seems like he'd be honestly happy that there would be more people out there on his level.

I think, really, as long as he knows he's good to go, he knows he's good enough to do the things he wants to do -- even if sometimes he just hates himself as a human being -- and he probably looks around at all the kids and knows they have to train them up, because even if they're going to be good they're not as good as he currently is, just because they don't have the benefits of years of experience. I mean, maybe they could have some kind of superhero Registration or something. The joke he made to Steve at the end of Empyre wasn't entirely wrong.

(I feel like I should probably also read Young Avengers, for more on how the Avengers deal with The Youth, but I haven't gotten around to that yet.)

Since Tony often blames himself for, well, everything he can possibly blame himself for, including the deaths of people he feels he should have been able to save, I feel like his worries about aging would probably involve his ability to continually successfully be a superhero. We haven't really seen much of this worry since his Extremis/Bleeding Edge days but there was definitely a period of time where his main concern seemed to be the ability to compete with the people he's fighting -- and this seems like it might be where he's heading again in his confrontation with Feilong, who, I should point out, does actually attempt to make fun of him for being old. Tony doesn't seem to take it personally, but he does seem very upset that he's not on Feilong's level, technologically. So I think the thing that would bother Tony wouldn't be the idea that he couldn't keep up with the heroes, but rather that he couldn't keep up with the villains.

So, yeah, that's my take.

[errorscriber]

there's been a lot of talks about shidou's safety in regards to amane now that Purge March has dropped, I would like to give some people peace of mind about amane's threat to shidou. there have been lore drops here and there that implies he'll be fine

21/03/22 (Kazui’s First Trial)

Shidou: Mukuhara-san, you’ve not been looking great ever since you came back.

Kazui: Ahh…… yeah, I still haven’t got back to my usual self huh. Y’know, Shidou-kun…… kids can be really brutal huh. I don’t have any of my own so hadn’t realised until now.

Shidou: Haha, so they are. They won’t listen to the excuses adults make to explain themselves. ……though that’s also what makes them cute.

Kazui: Yeah… You’re really mature, Shidou-kun. By comparison, I’m really immature huh. Not growing up in any way other than my age. ……*sigh* Even I’m starting to hate that about myself.

22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.

Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental.

Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

i know prison isn't really comparable to a hospital, but shidou is a doctor. he's probably met folks who are averse towards medical treatments. we have to also remember he's canonically a father as well. the patience in this man knows no bounds! shidou is the person who knows best that children can get volatile if they go through their word and actually initiate in their tantrums.

in the second trial we've clearly seen him be more proactive and more motivated to interact and help other people in the prison. to me, these conversations shidou has had implies that he'll find a way or be able to defend himself is amane were to do something to him.

maybe let's say, i am grasping for straws here and maybe shidou is gonna be in ruins but for now i want to have faith in that guy. he's tried to be gentle and passive around amane at first from the very beginning, now he knows that type of approach doesn't work. i surely hope he's prepared and i think from these conversations, shidou himself is trying to prepare for what is about to come.

i do want to take amane seriously and respect her wishes not to downplay her as a child but im not gonna try and give her too much power, i don't think she's a Big and Major Threat we should all worry about. i know there are so many variables we have to consider in the second trial towards what to vote. regardless of what you want to vote her this trial, i think our first trial verdict has already locked her thoughts into place anyway.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong.

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

this is my first time doing a post like this so im sorry if there are any misunderstandings i have regarding these conversations. i do hope that maybe you can find some faith that shidou will turn out fine in some way. he's going to beef with a 12 year old. he should start thinking about what to do.

[silvr-skreen]

Any random HCs for MFN (OC or canon) you want to share but haven't had the chance to?

OH BOY DO I? This is going to be incredibly long

Headcanons:

none of the puppets can swear if a child is around. Like physically can't. it's a failsafe Al added JUST IN CASE. they can if everyone is an adult however, but usually dont.... usually.

i am a gordon transman truther and i am going to die protecting my truth. grumpy old man deserves the world

also a ray HOH truther. i dont think his hearing was ever the same after the sewers and all that heavy machinery.

In relation to the last headcanon, he only got hearing aids after failing to hear the fire alarm during a drill... gordon found him inside and confused as to where everyone was. ray got his hearing aids the literal next day.

i like to think al was initially intending a lot more with the show, but got kind of trapped in the "doing what's always been done" and cutesy kid stuff. Especially since i can see the CNBG blocking him

they turned down a lot, and Al had never been bold enough to try and push back, beause he was afraid of losing hat he'd worked for.

RICHIE TIME. Richie is indian/mexican. he first tried to get into other shows or movies after leaving MFN but ironically... hated how grim they all were. there wasn't even an ounce of goodness unless it was to be used as a misdirection.

One of the things the CNBG pushed back on was the puppets (or at least some of them) having different races/ethnicities/nationalities etc. because Al wanted it to feel like a real neighborhood.

Pearl is Singaporean, Norman is hispanic on his mother's side, Ricky is african american, and Ray is scottish/irish, Gobblette is from Appalachia. The other puppets are still kind of a WIP on my end deciding

All puppets can clone themselves, they just need enough material. Larger puppets require more material in general, and so clone less.

The dogs are mostly clones. Started w/ just Mahoney and then they cloned themself twice into the other 2.

Puppets like Pearl, Ray and Gobblette who are large and fully dexterous (have you seen pearl leap?) have inner metal frames, theyre not particularly hard or poke-y, but they help hold the puppets structure like bones.

Gordon is physically disabled in some capacity, personally i've got a few headcanons on that, such as the asthma and a bad knee (as well as some others that are a bit in the realm of spoilers for my fic sorry lol)

He also has multiple medals. (three to be specific, but i cant tell you what 2 are yet.

Gordon to me is the biromantic ace guy who just never understood the appeal but shrugged it off like "im sure everyone dreads that part of a romance and just does it because its something you do."

Shirley coming back (hell even just being alive) was a shock to every puppet who doesn't go to the basement. they didnt know that one of her made it to the basement and stayed hidden with ray. Pearl stared at her for like a solid 2 minutes while trying to figure out if she was real.

ow this was exactly as long as i was expecting. i probably have many more i cannae remember em tho.

[loevhyuck]

it's always hard to talk about someone you've known for so long, whose memories are directly related to yours. years have flown by, and this is the fourth birthday that i remember about you. i saw the person who became an example for me, support and someone I always wanted to follow further. the older I got, the more I found similarities in us, I saw my own in your pain and fatigue, and then I correlated what you said with mine and realized that our thoughts were similar. perhaps I absorbed like a sponge what was said, written by you, or initially everything coincided detail to detail. but now I know only one thing, and it is important to remember. I didn't become one person with you or lose myself, but grew up and became better together. you let me see the world with different eyes. through the broken thick glass of glasses. but it will be so little, if not to say that you have grown up with me and before my eyes. looking back, how much new music have you written? how many texts have passed before your eyes and does it correlate with the number of days you spent with yourself, resting? the answer may be no, but you know where you are right now. life can't be changed in any way and you're here. the world-famous idol is a child prodigy, followed by a golden boy and a talented child in the eyes of anyone who dares to look. shy, kind and with a big heart, someone who is not so scary to rely on, with bitten knuckles and big dreams. and maybe that's the way it is, you really have become one of the turning points not only in the lives of people around you, but also in your company and industry. you showed a completely different level of the artist and his attitude to work. a man who grew up in a family with a love for music, for people and a desire to give everything there is in this world. the child of his parents, who are now proud of you like no other. we are all proud of you when a very young Mark just joined the company and took the first places in the rating. still a little clumsy, insecure, but rapidly proving that talented children multiply their inclinations with work and work. and now, after many years, can anyone deny how much you are a rapper? how much are you a singer and a dancer, how well do you feel the music and everything connected with it? No, you become a landmark. it's scary how time flies and that it's already the fourth year (me with you) and you yourself are no longer twenty years old, you have become more mature, even more talented, open to the world. he trusted us with his secrets and told us why it is important not to let the bad feeling get the better of you. and it's like it's our turn to open up to you and know nctzens, markf, anyone will be here to shout your name loudest, laugh and cry with you. a year ago you released child, now golden hour, one day you dream of your own book and be in this place as long as possible. you once asked in one song ‘i hope you like it where i am now’ and the answer is yes. im proud of you, the boy from canada, who was not afraid and went after his dream. everything worked out for you and then only a bright future, in which there is always a place for you and a small guitar. It's strange to feel like I'm a twenty-year-old little adult, older than you when I first learned the name mark lee. it's funny, I'm twenty now and you turned twenty that year. but i hope that next time we will meet again, i am at the age of 21 and you are 25.

happy birthday, Mark, and thank you

[easy-revenge]

Hii

So many people are calling Himeno a groomer and pedophile. What are your thoughts?

hellooo

oof.

ive seen the hate and slander for himeno on all platforms first hand. let me get some things out of the way first:

i do not defend himeno, nor her actions regarding denji. there is no defending that. it is what it is.

i can speak more on what ppl target her for though, bc i think its interesting.

(DISCLAIMER: opinions, in this case mine. no one has to agree with me. i have a lot to say but if you're not willing to listen and don't care about my pov, kindly move past this post. thank u)

the vast majority of ppl hating her that ive seen and/or interacted with online always find a way to get aki involved into the conversation. that's bullshit and i wanna speak on it before i touch on anything else.

aki is around 22 years old.

there is a tiktok here from one of my fav creators breaking that one down since a lot of ppl misread his introduction scene and thought he was 19:

with that said and done, there is nothing weird about aki and himeno whatsoever (ive seen ppl hate her for getting him into smoking which, ig fair, but lets be real for a sec and realize that even not knowing the spoilers, its pretty safe to assume that lung cancer is not what's gonna take them out). aki was around 19 when they met, which makes him a minor, but there was no hints whatsoever about himeno liking him until later on.

she didn't "watch him grow up" or "groom" him. she is in love with him in the present, when they are both of age. she knows aki has feelings for makima and doesn't cross any boundaries as we see both her and aki are comfortable being close with each other and initiating contact.

with the aki bullshit done, let's go back to the real thing: denji.

again, what himeno did to denji is inexcusable. there is no way around it. the fact that she was drunk doesn't serve as an excuse bc she still very much is the adult in the room and should've been more responsible.

i want to however talk about the terminology.

groomer.

a groomer is someone who builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

^ this is copy pasted from a dictionary. ring a bell? yes, that's literally makima.

himeno on the other hand did none of those things to denji. her offering him a kiss was more of a joke than anything else (plus she didn't know he was 16 back then) and she never had an ulterior motive for getting close to him.

im actually fairly certain that ppl call her a groomer more regarding aki than denji bc aki is the one she's known for a longer time and has had an effect on. i won't go back into this. utter bullshit. aki is not a child and himeno is not manipulating him. next.

the pedophile allegation is a bit of a rougher one to talk about. himeno initiated this playful flirting with denji at the start of the eternity devil arc, not knowing his age. she said explicitly right after that she "loves teasing boys" which implies that it was more a joke than anything else and considering that we proceed to get numerous flashbacks that let us know how deep her relationship with aki is and how genuine her feelings for him are, we can safely assume she does not give a fuck about denji.

the actual act that brought on the "pedophile" term happens when she is drunk. this, again, does not excuse her but i think can speak volumes about her state of mind. we know she gets extra flirty when she drinks and by the time the kiss happens she's tried to outdrink makima which means she's literally hammered. she is also drunk, significantly less but still, when she finds out denji's age. we know she is present enough for that info bc she remembers it the next morning when she brings it up, but again i dont think processing and comprehending information works just as well when you're half a dozen draft beers in. i dont have something more solid to say about this besides: she was really drunk and made some really bad choices bc she is irresponsible, flawed and generally messy as a person.

i dont feel comfortable calling her a pedophile. it doesn't ring that true to me. i dont think she is genuinely attracted to denji or would want to have sex with him while sober.

she knows it was wrong the next morning and she brings it up. that also shows that sober and with a clear mind she doesn't feel the same way.

the act itself is still horrible and inexcusable, but i think her thought process matters when it comes to assigning terms to her.

at the end of the day, i cant fight the ppl who do call her a pedophile. she did in fact attempt to have a sexual encounter with a minor. end of story. i mostly went into depth about this to talk about the aki thing bc it keeps popping up.

as for me, i choose to not erase her entire character over that one scene and reduce her to what ppl see her as. her arc is very well-written. SHE is very well-written. i keep recycling my words from my other posts but i think she is a perfect reflection of the universe she is in. we know she drinks and numbs everything out. we know the kind of dependency she has when it comes to aki and how it can cloud her judgment. she is very messy as i said and fundamentally flawed. but i loved seeing a broken character.

in a series like csm where denji can get cut in half and get back up to fight, its important for me to have characters like her to make u rly feel the impact of living in a world like this.

also the easy revenge storyline was dope as shit.

that's all about my thoughts on this, ive beem wanting to articulate them for a while, thank u for giving me the chance !!

[kiteslover]

HxH DAD HEADCANONS

Leorio

* Oh come on, if you didn’t already have an idea of how good of a dad this man would be you haven’t watched the show

* Leorio would be the biggest hypeman, protector, and supporter of his child it’s absurd

* If the child was a boy they would get up to so many mischievous acts when he grows up

* Whether that be eating icecream at 4am in the morning while his partner is passed out in the other room from having to deal with two very exhausting males

* Or running around the house with the kid on Leorio’s shoulders and almost knocking over every breakable item in there

* If the child was a girl, Leorio would be WAY more protective of her

* He’d be supervising her at the park and another little boy comes up to her and starts playing

* He would IMMEDIATELY walk over and give him the stink eye, telling him “I’m watching you” even though he’s like- 4 and probably cant even speak anyways

* He spends as much time as he can with her though in his time off, and he will agree to do anything with her like play dress up or have a tea time with her stuffed animals

* Whatever the case, Leorio has a really hard time saying no to his child. His partner would definitely have to be the more strict parent if they didn’t want the child to grow up rambunctious af

* I’m sure that as time went on, Leorio would gradually find it easier to be more stern after the initial baby fever went away

* He’s tired as hell all the time with his work mixed with being a parent, but he sucks it up because every minute he gets to spend with his kid is worth it

* He wants like- 4 kids max, but he knows it will probably be less from how busy he is

* Also side note Gon would be VERY present in this child’s life since he’s basically Leorio’s other son anyways, Gon and the kid would pretty much be siblings

Kurapika

* Sorry to all of yall who want kurapika babies but I genuinely feel like Kurapika would not want kids and would not enjoy being a father

* Kurapika would be rather strict as a parent if he had to have kids at some point, whether this was a semi adoptive relationship or his s/o had to take care of a kid

* He’s pretty distant at first and really hesitant to show much affection, he knows how much time and effort having a child takes and he’s really not willing to do that as it will interfere with his mission

* But as time goes on, Kurapika becomes more accustomed with the idea of showing kindness and love. He’s not very keen on doing it by words, but he does a lot through actions whether that be changing the kids diaper or always driving them where they need to go

* Kurapika is quite knowledgeable, so he’d be great at actually caring for the kid. He would make sure he’s prepared for this for the child’s sake, but he doesn’t really want to have to put all this effort in

* The kid is always taken care of physically, but not always mentally. Kurapika isn’t an extremely emotionally supportive person just because he’s more reserved and doesn’t enjoy sappy moments all that much, so you wouldn’t expect him to be like “i love you so much im so proud of you yas slay” (like leorio lmfao)

* Absolutely NO baby talk. None. This man talks to his child like they’re a full grown adult

* “Why are you crying?” *sigh* “You just ate 10 minutes ago. If you’re still hungry you need to tell me with words, not screaming.”

* This child is like 1 they can’t even speak

* He says it almost jokingly, he knows he’s talking to himself and that the kid can’t respond but he’s just thinking out loud

* Eventually he grows to be okay with having a kid, and he doesn’t want the child to think they are a burden to him at all. He’s still pretty distant, but the as the kid grows and understands more, they will always know that Kurapika does indeed love them, just in his own, subtle ways.

Hisoka

* What the fuck is anyone doing going and getting knocked up by hisoka and actually wanting him to stay in this kid’s life

* Sorry but once again, Hisoka would NOT be an excellent father. He wouldn’t be horrible, but he wouldn’t be great either.

* He would not choose to be a father if he had the choice, but let’s say in this scenario some random factor forces him to take care of a kid

* When he first gets the kid, he’s completely uneducated on how to take care of them so he treats them like a full fledged adult.

* He gets frustrated by the fact that there’s hardly any communication occurring, and plus the child is weak af so how could this be entertaining to Hisoka

* Hisoka is all about doing things because he finds them enjoyable, and raising a child is NOT enjoyable to him

* Let’s be honest there would be some serious neglect occuring here and he’d probably get CPS called on him

* He’d leave the mfer in their crib for like- hours and then come back and complain that he has to change their diaper

* When the child finally starts to become more independent, Hisoka actually is intrigued and starts to become more involved in their life

* Hisoka likes to take them wherever he goes, which is not exactly the best for the kid but he doesn’t really care.

* The one thing Hisoka is actually good at is protecting the kid. Despite him taking the kid into dangerous situations, he always keeps them out of lethal danger. Sure he’ll let them get a scratch or two, but their life will always be protected.

* Hisoka allows his child a lot of freedom because quite frankly- he doesn’t care. Hisoka has always done what hisoka wants so why should it be any different for his kid?

* At the end of the day he doesn’t really feel that bonded to the child- But he finds them interesting, interesting enough to keep them in his life

* By the time the kid has grown, they will learn to value Hisoka as the person who raised them but there’s not a lot of familial love. Both would be okay with that and I think the kid might turn out a little crazy but overall fine. They’d definitely fight in battles together cause God knows Hisoka probably raised this kid as a crazy powerful Nen user

Chrollo

* ANOTHER BAD ONE. Jesus christ phantom troupe arc characters are not good fathers

* No I’m kidding (🤥), Chrollo wouldn’t be too horrible actually

* Chrollo, similarly to Kurapika and Hisoka, would probably not choose to have a child

* But if he were forced to, he would not mind it that much.

* He’d keep the child around him for their protection, but he would not give them much attention. He doesn’t mind tending to their physical needs but he will not go above and beyond for them emotionally.

* When the child grows, he starts teaching them a lot about life and how to protect themselves. I think he enjoys having the privilege of guiding someone else through life because it intrigues him to see how a child turns out with his parenting style

* He grants the child independence and usually says yes to most of the kid’s requests, but its more of in a “yes but ask your other parent” way (even if the other parent is not present)

* Not that much of an emotionally unavailable dickhead, I think he’d be more inclined to actually be kind to his child rather than treat them coldly. He’s okay with spending time with them, but he makes sure they’re not a burden to him by making them independent

* The child will probably be pretty quiet considering how quiet Chrollo is. I think the kid would probably pick up the same habits as him like reading to entertain themselves since Chrollo isn’t very attentive.

* By the time the kid grows up, they’ll probably still be close to Chrollo but not really emotionally. It’s more like “Yeah, that’s my dad. He’s okay.”

* They’d definitely appreciate all he has taught them in life, but i think there’d still be much left to be desired in terms of his parenting

* Because the kid is older now, Chrollo doesn’t see much reason to keep being involved in their life so he just grows kind of distant and lets them make their own choices now

* Chrollo still acknowledges them, but he’s not gonna like give a weekly checkup call or anything.

* Overall, the kid would turn out okay and Chrollo at least passed at raising a kid

—

Thank you for reading! I am going to do the Chimera arc characters next and maybe an aged up Gon and Killua too. Lmk if you guys want anyone else :)

[sarcastic-kaz]

akaza’s backstory

heyo so i decided to do live notes on me reading this guys backstory. my mom says she literally cried when she read a year before me, and that its really sad so i wanted to keep my live reactions bcs this isnt my first time screaming at the plot twists in demon slayer. i start the live notes in the beginnings of chapter 154 and im also reading the manga in japanese so i might have mistranslated/misunderstood some things lol

SPOILERS BELOW THIS IS YOUR WARNING

initial thoughts on akaza: idk hes pretty fruity like the mugen train arc “oni ni nare, kyoujurou” in japanese was omg just. so fucking fruity. and he said the same freaking thing to giyuu omgs- also he hates douma and wants to kill kokushibo but idk what to really feel about him. anyways ive seen the little hints at the girl holding his hand and he tried to punch it, and his head grew back bc he said he had to get stronger???

live notes start here (just jot notes):

- damn she pulling out the existential crisis on akaza

- oh his dads sick boo hoo

- woah wait is he a pickpocket?

- oh my fucking wait is that why he looks like a basketball???

- holy shit is this where he becomes a basketball?

- like every time he gets caught stealing he gets a mark as punishment

- damn how many times did u get caught bruh

- welp idk how hed steal without his hands

- oof he just got called a demon child well hes a demon moon now

- oh wait my mom specified for me it means a kid who was born with teeth

- HOLY SHIT NAME DROP DUDE THATS A NICE NAME

- OMG HIS DAD KILLED HIMSELF JUST LIKE ZENITSUS TEACHER

- dude this suicide letter like ‘i cant take medicine bought by stolen money sorry for making myself a bother for you live a good life’

- oh hes mourning by hurting himself fighting people

- “even if it took 100 years for my dad to heal” and he kept half of that promise

- damn akazas backstory is just him getting beat up by everyone he meets

- and hes just like taking the beatings bc he wanted his dad to get medicine

- well fuck medicine for special diseases does cost a lot poor akaza

- and his dad just killed himself anyway

- still dont know who the girl is

- damn i wouldnt be able to stand getting whipped and bones broken for my parents

- huh he beat the living shit out of seven adults

- and he didnt get a scratch and hes also a kid

- who tf is that guy it seems akaza also has the same question

- oh is this guy who applauded akaza some sort of sensei i mean he has a dojo

- why does akazas personality sort of remind me of inosukes ‘fight me bitch’ type thing

- oh shit theyre gonna fight

- that wasnt so much of a fight than a man slapping a kid silly

- nother name drop keizou

- OOF AKAZAS FACE LOL

- oh akaza is gonna take care of a girl?

- HOLY SHIT ITS THAT GIRL I THINK WAIT HER NAME IS KOYUKI

- I SMELL BUDDING TEEN ROMANCE HERE JUST SAYING

- OMG ITS SO AWKWARD AND CUTE

- and akaza has someone to take care of again!

- aww cute moment between them

- also fireworks! yay! hes saying he can piggyback ride her there that so sweet

- oh shit shes crying

- oh thats so cute that their only purposes are to protect those they love

- omgs and akaza on his little training arc with keizou like how tanjirou did with urokodaki and both are taking care of a younger girl who is bedridden- the parallels

- holy shit three year time skip

- oh ok koyuki is better now

- OMG THEY DO LIKE EACH OTHER AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO SWEET AND SHES SO NERVOUS AND HES SO NERVOUS

- OH HES GONNA SAY YES TO THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

- HES GONNA FOLLOW HIS DADS SUICIDE NOTE AND LIVE A GOOD LIFE

- HE EVEN VISITED THE GRAVE HELP

- WAIT SHIT NO HES A DEMON SOMETHING GOES WRONG

- NONONONONO WAIT SHIT I WAS ACTUALLY SORT OF STARTING TO LIKE THESE TWO 

- OMG HES ADMITTING THAT THEYRE HIS TWO FAVOURITE PEOPLE

- wait whats this abt poison

- WAIT WHAT POISON

- THIS IS TURNING VERY FAST WHAT THE FUCK

- WHAT THEY WERE BOTH POISONED AND FUCKING DIED WHAT

- BECAUSE OF THE FREAKING DOJO WTFFFFFF

- I- I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS

- ok were back and ready to react

- wait what promise

- CALLBACK TO THE FIREWORKS

- ohh shes saying she wants to watch the fireworks with akaza next year and the year after too... oh shit she died.

- damn so both their parents killed themselves bc of their kids

- ohhh this is so sweet but sad knowing she just died

- AND HE PROMISED TO PROTECT HER BUT OH NOOOOOO

- OH SHIT HES KILLING THEM ALL WITH HIS BARE HANDS

- DAMN THATS BRUTAL AND TWISTED OF AKAZA

- BUT DAMN THIS IS HIS WAY OF MOURNING HOLY FUCK

- EVERY SINGLE STUDENT OF THE RIVAL DOJO?!?!?!?!!??!

- HOLY SHIT ITS MUZAN JACKSON

- DO THE MOONWALK PLS

- OH SHIT THIS IS WHEN MUZAN WAS THINKING ABOUT MAKING THE TWELVE KIZUKI

- OH SHIT AKAZA RLY SAID MOVE BITCH TO MUZAN

- HE PUNCHED AKAZA I REPEAT HE PUNCHED THROUGH AKAZAS SKULL

- i feel like this is sad because it wasnt even muzans fault that the two of them died it was just poison

- he even admits it out loud himself that his own story is sad help

- hes even completely ok with the fact he wont go to the same place as the three most important people in the world to him

- and giyuu is just standing there

- lmao tanjiro is just always yelling for demons to stop

- wait what tanjiro ur sword-???

- oh shit it slipped from his grip

- sorry i snorted at the fact that tanjiro decked akaza in the face instead

- i think im gonna stop there the backstory is over

- i feel horribly empty inside after finishing that chapter

- think i might just go cry

current thoughts on akaza: damn i understand why ppl are so sad about this, holy shit this is so sad like i have no words im probably gonna have to come back to this post tomorrow to give my thoughts after thinking about this all night

[wytfut]

tiny gifts (not really)

As anyone knows that reads my goofy thoughts here. I write, as I like to write, and sometimes I get an ear worm, that just won't let go of me. This is not me trying to create art (at least I don't believe so), as much as its journal of ear worms.

The meds I did 6 weeks ago, were mind bending. I think so much that some thoughts may have just disappeared.

But one ear worm has stuck with me for weeks now. But I haven't been able to write about it, with the correct impact. Not that I write to improve myself, or make perfect prose. That is a laugh within its self....

......

I have what I feel very fortunate, many friends. Many of them I consider very loyal, as I'm very loyal to them. Im very comfortable with this.

One of them is some distance from me. We have a very odd and scary cosmic relationship which I won't go into any details. But sometimes it appears we are doublegangers of sorts.

He has had handed him by life, to raise his own grandchild. I've seen this done many times in my life time. And without putting a foot into the water, I don't know that I could do this my self. I would hope I could, but I don't know I could.

This grandchild has picked a life style, that is challenging enough for adults, let alone a teenager.

Because of this choice of life style, the pressure became too much. And the grandchild made an effort to end it all, around the middle of November if I remember right...

Let the above sink in for a bit before continuing on..... just put yourself there for a moment.

......

By nature, I try to help folks out when ever possible. Many times its a huge task, but generally, I won't turn anything down. Strangers and friends alike.

My buddy, in this situation, I couldn't help him other than by phone call, or email.

During this event, I don't recall for sure, but we ended up on the phone with each other (I think I called him, for a weekly chat). He tried to make like it was a regular day in his life, but he started to fall apart in the conversation. He finally broke down and told me the details. I insisted he hang up as family needed him (for goodness sake, he was in the E.R. when he answered his phone). And told him to call me when things freed up.

He did. I hope I helped in conversation with him, but probably will never know for sure. I did my best at the moment, we don't get rehearsal time.

In our weekly conversations, I'd ask about the grandchild after the initial event. And he'd reply "all appears to be going well..." ... As I trust my friend, I believed him, but still thought about the grandchild time to time.

......

No one wants to lose family. Especially family that is younger than yourself. Even more so, when this family member is blood. This event had an impact on my friend.... and yeah, myself (as selfish as it is).

Time as usual continued on...

......

A week before Xmas, we were having our weekly phone call. My buddy during the phone call, called out to his grandchild who had just walked in the door to home(with honest enthusiasm). The grand child responded, with even more enthusiasm, the same back at him. So much so, I lost thought train on our conversation. it took my breath away. This was via a phone call thousands of miles away, but I honestly heard "I'm fine, and I'm going to get better"

......

My tiny gift I received for Xmas, . And I got it via listening on the phone.

My buddy, also got this very same gift, in person. .... PLUS. His grandchild is healing. And he didn't loose his grandchild....

......

Xmas 2023.... one hell of a Xmas

[chxsn1]

my honest (untamed and unfair) thoughts are that nothing i say matters. no one will care for me except me. there's no point in talking or sharing because i just end up being vulnerable, raw and alone. so i skip the middleman.

i feel like a majority of my interactions are because i initiate but i often wonder how long it would be for anyone to notice if i stopped

or when they noticed, if they'd even inquire or if it's always that im drama and they have to walk on egg shells around me and my emotions are intimidating.

tell me when did i go from traumatized child to irrational adult? when did it change from neglect to 'protecting your boundaries'? when did i switch from victim to tyrant? and what is it exactly that is scary?

i don't yell. i don't hold grudges. im overtly apologetic and forgiving so what exactly is so terrifying about hearing my truth?

i think it would make you feel bad. i don't think it's my emotions you're walking around, it's the blame and guilt i have to dole out. it's a fraction of the punishment i give myself. i just want it acknowledged. just once for someone to see and be as amazed as i am that im still alive. that i still hope and that i force myself to stay.

im not allowed to leave, that would upset people. so im saving myself and saving everyone else again and again and again. don't make anyone sad. don't get upset and scare people. don't tell anyone about the flashes of blood and stone and torn skin and violence in your head.

my trauma my problem, sure. but we're not even gonna shine a light inside the cave? see what's in there and what pieces of bullshit each of us put inside?

are the scars not big enough? dark enough? deep enough? do i have to be frail and thin for you to care? do i have to be pretty?

i think im a big fat mirror and we're all horrified by our reflections. eyes on the ground while you ignore the choking sounds coming from the corner.

the self harm and sabotage isn't extreme enough; smashing my car into a wall would be too extreme. how can i accommodate you today? what role of dress up would you like me to play today? should i be dutiful worker or sweet daughter or dependable friend or useful sex toy? should i be happy or glad or grateful?

should i explain in 13 years what i was dealing with all along or should i ignore your emotions the way you've ignored mine? should i bow to my demons or yours?

you won't answer. you won't even read the words. i live in a portal where my screams are silent and my ink invisible and you all think how lucky you are that things work out exactly the way you want them all around you. my bloodied feet and knuckles leave no stains as i run in circles, picking up the pieces you so casually dismiss and decline

[mybluudyvalentine]

first post is me spin dumping lol...

ok so. heres my silly two cents im putting on the table abt sarah lynn and bojack and how bojack "ruined her life."

saur, i personally dont think HE HIMSELF ruined it, but he likely was a piece of it. i say this because sarah lynn looked at bojack like a father figure, not just because he played her "tv dad" but because he was what she saw as a strong male role model. her father was never mentioned, so its assumed hes out of the picture. she has her stepfather but it was heavily implied that he abused her throughout her childhood, and her mother micromanaged her career and her identity, so sarah lynn had a really hard time developing a sense of self. bojack was a person that appeared very often throughout her life, even staying with him for a little while. in the first episode that she says with him, boajck does (indirectly) say that he is sort of playing out his childhood how he wanted it to be and also fixing sarah lynn's childhood. sarah lynn nor bojack had a good childhood, so they were kind of like feeding into each other in a way? i wouldnt say they brung out the worst in each other but one was definitely not great for the other. bojack saw himself in sarah lynn, which was why he stuck around her so much; its really obvious that bojack struggles with relationships, platonic and romantic. he struggles with himself and it reflects outward with self sabotage etc etc. even in her childhood she looked to be genuine friends with bojack, trying to hang out with him whenever she could, on set or off set; but she was always denied (obviously, she was like 7 and he was 30ish maybe. weird age gap).

not just during her childhood, but following into adulthood she sought out that fatherly figure from bojack, if not looking for a father, she was seeking guidance from a familiar person, someone she'd trusted and looked up to for years. and she wasn't wrong for seeking mentorship. but her and bojack were both struggling, not just with addiction but many other problems. they both had no sense of self, both struggling with their identity and internal conflicts. bojack wasnt prepared or equipped to save sarah lynn, he could hardly save himself.

i do think for a fact that bojack took advantage of sarah lynn. even if unintentional, he did it. even though they were both high and drunk bojack still shouldve took initiative and told her no. she came to him for guidance. pretty sure it was even explicitly stated that she needed a responsible adult to say no to her, and thats what he didnt do. i think its because (as i stated earlier) bojack comes from an abusive home where he was neglected and constantly told no. he was berated and essentially bullied for his entire childhood, and he was trying to do the total opposite for sarah lynn. he wanted her to feel what he wanted when he was a child, free. he literally never said no, even when sarah lynn's friends drill through a wall and painting to make a sex closet (or whatever) he still didnt say no. not just in that example but he never does. he wanted to parent her with a freedom approach to fulfill his childhood as well as hers. he was broken, trying to fix her and save himself.

about her overdose/death, i dont htink he was the exact cause of it but he was responsible in a way. in the beginning of the episode where sarah lynn overdoses, its revealed that she's 9 months sober, but then bojack invited her on a bender. i think he was partially responsible for this but not exactly. sarah lynn was prone to gettting sober to get a better high when she relapsed. during the bender, sarah lynn expresses multiple problems and struggles that she's been battling internally. whenever theses concerns are brought to bojacks attention instead of directly addressing them he distracts her. he never really discusses her problems or how she feel, nor does he confront her about her addiction and other obvious problems she's been having, causing her to further bury her issues under her substance abuse (tbc)