#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[403tarot]

⫬ ⫬ ⊹ . . . SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE — WHAT DO YOU NEED NOW?

hello! today i offer a post about a very important subject: spirituality. take what resonates with you and leave the rest. close your eyes and take a deep breath to choose the pic that calls you the most. feedbacks make duckie really happy <3

PICK A POCHACCO!

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 1 ...

Your personality today is the result of a mix of unique experiences. Life hasn't always been kind to you, and that has directly influenced how you perceive the world and interact with people around you, which may have caused some important aspects of your character to retreat. Nevertheless, lately, you've been actively seeking to rediscover yourself and recover from the damages of your past.

Ah, the past. When you were going through such a delicate moment and felt your heart burdened with sadness, perhaps no one extended a hand to help you stand up. Although it was painful, you can't let those wounds keep bleeding and staining your path going forward. It's time to put a stop to that.

Your subconscious is actively working to help you find emotional balance in your life again. Problems, fears, and anxieties can't prevent the blessings destined for you from coming your way. You have a strong spiritual protection that never leaves you alone, and it calls for your success and peace.

Prioritizing yourself is essential in this new stage of your life. Know that not everyone will understand your actions — they might call you selfish, distance themselves from you, or say that you've changed. But you must stay strong; taking care of yourself is not a selfish act, but an altruistic one: by tending to your needs and reaching your goals, you become a better person and an inspiration for others to pursue their own happiness.

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE:

ROSEMARY — PURITY, HEAL, REMEMBER

When rosemary comes into your reading, it's time to cleanse and purify. Don't hold onto things or people that aren't beneficial to you or your path. Let go and rid yourself of unnecessary energies. Be wise and take note of what you are purifying and why. This insight can help you continue to grow. Repeat to yourself:

" I remember, I cleanse and I heal"

cards pulled: the high priestess & the empress | ace of cups & 5 of pents | 6 of pents & knight of swords | 5 of wands, the moon & queen of swords | rosemary

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 2 ...

What is draining your energy and willingness to move forward? The burden on your shoulders has always been heavy, but still, you persisted and remained strong. The stones on your path, no matter how heavy they may seem, cannot gain enough strength to prevent you from reaching what you desire. It's time to look back, see the entire journey you've already traveled, and allow yourself to be proud of things you achieved til now.

Your peace has been disturbed. It seems you can never stay stable for long, and just when you think things will improve, something appears to trap you in anxieties again. You wonder, "If there really is something or someone divine regulating all things, why does the scale of justice never seem to tip in my favor?"

I know you've been trying hard and would like an immediate return, but unfortunately, that's not how things work. Your heart needs to calm down and accept that not everything will always be rosy because life is built on ups and downs. It's necessary to see things from another angle and distance yourself from negative energies as soon as possible, as they will only drag you down further.

Everything you want and desire will be within your reach because nothing beneath the sky is impossible. You have everything to achieve happiness, even though you often forget that. Confront your negative emotions and free yourself from what troubles you. Scream into your pillow, cry, release it all. You are always so kind and understanding with other people's problems... why aren't you the same with your own problems too?

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE:

SPILLED SALT — RELEASE, CONFRONT

If spilled salt shows up in your reading, it's telling you to be aware of the evils that maybe trying to creep in your life. Take time to confront this issue or person. Don't allow yourself to be held down to people or things that are not beneficial to you. Take control, confront and release these energies from your life. Make a wise wish and repeat to yourself:

"Blessed be"

cards pulled: strength, 10 of swords & knight of wands | 2 of wands, 4 of wands & justice | the hanged man, 10 of cups & 6 of wands | the devil, the magician & queen of cups | spilled salt

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 3 ...

You are insatiable with your goals. Your desire to grow, evolve, and achieve shows that you have been striving to present a better version of yourself. However, excessive self-demand and perfectionism may be disturbing your mind too much and, worse, hindering your climb to the top.

You often lament, "I could have done things differently," "I didn't do enough," "I wish I could go back in time to start over and try harder," ignoring the fact that everything you've achieved today is the result of your own merit. You did exactly what you should have done and undoubtedly gave your best within what was possible at that moment. Keep moving forward. Strive to make the future better. Don't wait until next Monday... start taking action now.

Accept and understand that you are the one responsible for the good things in your life. Treat yourself and what you have with more kindness! Instead of always thinking about what you can achieve in the future, look at what you have now. Don't become obsessed with what the next days, months, or years hold for you. Live in the present. What is meant for you will never escape you and will come at the right time.

You have been dedicated to being on the right path, and that way, you have a bright future. Nevertheless, it's necessary for you to still celebrate the little things happening in your life today. They might not be as grand as what you aspire for your future, but they are still important and part of who you are. When was the last time you took some time for yourself? When was the last time you wore your favorite pajamas, ate popcorn, and watched your favorite series without worrying about the anxiety that thinking about the future brings? Reconnect with your inner child who was delighted with a simple bag of candies (even if they were mostly bad). Sometimes, all we need is a bit of simplicity.

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE

EARTH ELEMENT — GROUNDING, SURVIVAL

The element of earth invites you to slow down. With earth comes bring stability and growth. Earth can also bring light to your current work and money energy. When this card shows up in a reading, ground yourself, connect with Mother Nature and take into consideration the material aspects of your life. Connect with her nurturing energy. Earth is here to support you in all that you do. It's time to grow. Repeat to yourself:

"I grow with the earth"

cards pulled: 8 of wands, 9 of cups & knight of swords | 10 of pents, 3 of swords & temperance | 4 of cups, knight of cups & the devil | king of wands, 3 of wands & page of cups | earth element

deck used: rider waite-smith & inner witch oracle

you can book a reading with me!

• twin flame / soulmate - $18 • future spouse (+18) - $25

• spiritual advice - $15 • one question - $3.50

dm me if you're interested or want to know more of my methods <3

check my pinned to find out more of my free PAC readings!

[writingquestionsanswered]

"Probably one of my biggest writing-related takeaways of 2023 was the brain science behind being overwhelmed by writing. So often, we put so much pressure on ourselves to meet goals, and get so frustrated with ourselves when we fail, that we end up making writing time something that fills us with anxiety. So our brains perceive that activity as a threat, which makes us want to avoid it."

I'd love to learn more about this cause it's my biggest problem when it comes to writing. The avoidance of the task, but it also manifests also as feeling overwhelmed by writing a long story/novel.

Some Brain Science Behind Avoidance

I encountered this idea of fear-based avoidance in a few workshops and summits over the past year, but I have to give a shout out to author/coach Monica Hay whose "Overcome Writer's Resistance Bootcamp" explained it the best. I can't find my notes so I'm going from memory here, but the gist of it was that our brains are hard-wired to avoid things that make us feel fearful or uneasy. This is an evolutionary throwback to when those instinctual feelings helped us steer clear from danger. As I remember Monica putting it, "Don't go that way, there are cheetahs there that will eat us."

So... how does this apply to avoidance of writing?

When we heap unreasonable goals and deadlines on ourselves, and berate ourselves for falling short of them, we inadvertently turn writing into a stressful activity. So, when we sit down to write, our brain picks up on that stress and says, "Don't go that way, cheetahs will eat us," and your gut instinct tells you to avoid this stressful activity at all cost. And then it becomes kind of a vicious cycle because you feel even worse because you're avoiding writing, and that makes you feel more overwhelmed and makes writing more stressful, and well... you can see the problem.

The solution? De-stress the writing process for yourself as much as you can. Start by de-stressing yourself when you sit down to write... take a relaxing walk first, do some yoga or a meditation exercise, or try some grounding techniques. See if you can do some things to make your writing environment more relaxing and inviting. Put on some soft lighting and relaxing music, use your favorite method to lightly scent the air, grab your favorite drink and snack. Then, just try to move the needle forward in any way you can.

My suggestions: try editing a sentence. Maybe see if you can add a paragraph or two. Don't think about deadlines or word count or what others are doing. Just focus on adding something to the page, even if it's changing a word or adding a sentence. Don't push yourself. Congratulate yourself on whatever progress you made. Ultimately, if you do this every day, the stress should start to melt away and writing becomes an activity that your brain no longer tells you to avoid.

Another suggestion: try to avoid setting arbitrary deadlines, or if you have to set a deadline, take a look at your schedule/calendar and be really honest about how much time you actually have to write. Because so often what happens is we say, "I want to finish this 80k word draft in eight weeks..." but the reality is we're not going to write all 56 of those days. In fact, when we take an honest look...

-3 days per week for days with both class and work = 32 days -5 days for a cruise next month = 27 days -1 day for bestie's birthday celebration = 26 days -Sundays because that's hiking day = 18 days Suddenly, that eight weeks is actually only 18 days... and that's not even taking account things that come up unexpectedly. But, let's say you do get to write all 18 days, and let's say you know you can commit three hours a day to writing but you'll probably take two ten-minute brakes... so 48 hours worth of writing. But here's the problem: you know on a good hour, you're probably only going to write 1200 words. And guess what: 1200 words per hour over 48 hours is only 57,600 words... far short of your 80k goal... and that's assuming you get to write all 18 days and hit 1200 words every hour you write. In other words... you've set yourself an impossible deadline, and when you fall short of it without understanding why, you're going to be disappointed in yourself. And that's why it's so, so important to be honest about the time you have and how much you can reasonably accomplish within that time. Also: just don't be hard on yourself. It will never make you write faster, more, or better.

I hope you can use this to overcome your own resistance to writing! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[indierpgnewsletter]

What is XP for?

It feels like there’s been a recent spate of discussion in RPG circles about the role of incentives (usually just referring to experience points, or XP). While a lot of that discussion has been mean-spirited (with a lot of conflating preference for “the only correct way to do things”), I would like to contribute by try to describe the role of XP is in modern tabletop RPG design, using Blades in the Dark as an example. If you’re a designer or a player, hopefully this helps you think about the role of a mechanic like this.

1. XP paces out advancement

This is probably the number one reason that we have XP in games. Historically, in this hobby, games have offered players to way to advance their characters, letting them grow in a way that makes them more powerful or interesting. For example, in Blades in the Dark, by requiring 6-8 XP to upgrade your character, the game paces out the process of getting new abilities to around every 2-3 sessions or so. By tweaking the amount required, it could’ve made this process shorter or longer.

The primary critique of this use of XP comes from people who question whether advancement is necessary at all. These usually come from folks who are who are either perfectly happy with their character “improving” in non-mechanical ways (like buying a house in-game) or people who prefer changes rather than improvements (getting a cool scar rather than getting better at punching).

2. XP as recap procedure

As Judd Karlman mentions on his blog, having an end of session xp procedure is a way to give everyone an opportunity to “think back on when they were kicking ass or being cunning – remember it and celebrate it while ticking off a box”. The idea is that the end of session procedure becomes a kind of ritual to share your favourite highlights from the session, aiming to deliver a good note for the game to end on.

3. XP as incentive

Some games use XP to encourage players to do things that they might not ordinarily do. This is quite common in the kind of games that I play. For example, in Blades in the Dark, you get XP when your character is in desperate situations. The game is trying to encourage players to take risks as opposed to playing it safe (because they might be coming from games where taking risks was less fun).

These kinds of incentives are usually criticized for two main reasons. One, it is unnecessary, i.e., it encourages behavior that needs no encouragement. Two, it has a negative effect on freedom of roleplay by pointing at a “right way to play”.

Stepping back for a second, I think these are both good criticisms that can be more or less valid, depending on the specific game or style of play. In my experience, in general, they’re least valid when they are theoretical, armchair criticism and tend to be most valid when they come from direct play experience.

With Blades in the Dark specifically, I think XP for taking big risks does lead to players shifting gears and playing differently. Not by itself though! It works because it fits within a whole system meant for that kind of story. The XP is just a tiny little signal.

As for narrowing the realm of roleplay, I think this is broadly true of hyper-specific storygames. They are a kind of game that actively tries to provide constraints - but in the same way a writing prompt is a constraint. It’s hard to be creative without them! Some of these games - not all - tend to involve some amount of discovering who your character is, rather than coming in with a specific idea.

That said, it can be frustrating in Blades in the Dark to pick a playbook with a particular character concept in mind and find that you’re out-of-sync with the game’s XP triggers. This kind of misalignment can happen, for sure, and it is a limitation of Blade’s specific design. The solutions tend to be some form of hacking or just switching playbooks. But even with that frustration, I would hesitate to say it’s a problem with XP as a mechanic though.

Though XP doesn’t actually need much defending - like so much of game design convention, the main reason games will continue to include it is because games have always included it. Players have come to expect it! But at the same time, I think XP can always do more and be more (or less!) than it's currently doing. I’m excited for people to look at these functions of XP and innovate, keeping what excites them and finding ways of changing the rest.

(This was first posted on the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

[sadlynotthevoid]

Once I had this dream about a modern lcf AU where Lily was like 13~14yo and somehow got involved into an otome-novel-ish type of drama. What I mean is: some girl at school was going around acting like she was such a sweetheart and making others believe Lily was a mean rich girl who bullies her.

She was very sad because a lot of people, including some friends, actually fell for it and treated her as if she was a villain. More and more people avoided her and frowned when they saw her. People who she used to play and chat now talked bad about her. And only a few close friends seemed to believe in her and treat her kindly.

She's brave and bold, but she feels really lonely right now.

And she didn't know how to tell her family. She hasn't heard that any of them had had such a problem before. What if they don't understand? (What if they don't believe her?)

One day, Cale (the original one) entered into her room while she was crying after a bad day. His brain's alarms started to sound. Whom the fuck hurt his little sister? She's a good kid who only wants to train with swords and eat sweets.

So he sat next to her and comforted her, softly humming a song. It felt so nostalgic (though she's not sure why) that Lily ended up spilling out everything. He promised things were going to get better. Then proceeded to distraught her with a gift and a promise to sparr with her.

It was Friday at that moment. On Monday, Lily went back to school just to find out everyone acting strange. Not bad, just strange.

When she asked, her classmates explained that the troublesome girl's mother had carried her from house in house to confess the truth during the weekend. She and her mother were at the headmaster's office at the moment.

Only some people apologized, but no one kept treating her like a bad omen.

Lily didn't know how, but she was sure that Cale was somehow behind this.

Other points about the dream:

-Lily and Cale got close after this. He takes her to and from school quite often. They spar together when Cale is at home or Lily tries new things with him.

-Probably because of the reason above, I remember a scene of them ice skating at an ice rink. They seemed to like it, so hc that it becomes an usual activity for them.

-They take Bassen out for a break when he seems too meddle into his studies. Then the three of them end up sitting at an ice cream shop or a coffee shop, dumming around and ocassionally getting tutoring from Cale.

-I think Cale was on his last year of college here, but he also had a business. I think it was a fashion business but I'm not sure. I don't know why he was taking college classes when he already had a sucessful business, he's weird like that. Probably because he was bored.

-Rok Soo was his roommate. I mean it like platonic roommates, not the vine. Cale somehow convinced him to work at his company after college.

-Ohn and Lily became friends after this.

-The rest of the Henituse family didn't find out about the incident until months later. They freak out a bit before Lily tell them that Cale already solved it. And Bassen is like "yeah, that tracks", which turns into an explanation about his own past bullying situation. Which leads to them connecting the dots. They freak out.

-Cale is walking between classes when he gets a call from Deruth. Half of the campus could heard the "CaLE hENiTuSE, did you sabotage yourself to help Bassen?!". And the "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?! YOU COULD HAD BEEN HURT!". A few seconds later, it was the whole campus that heard the "AN ACT? IT WAS ALL AN ACT?!".

-Thanks to the people who were near enough to listen to Cale's replies, now the whole campus labeled him of eccentric genius. The general consensus is that he's a good person, too.

-The acting class teacher kept running after Cale, trying to get him into his class after he heard Deruth's last scream. He tries harder after he overhears Cale saying "what? Like it was difficult. You guys are just easy to fool" when his childhood friends asked. Amiru is between the best students, she's definitely not easy to fool.

[cowboysandpilots]

Eddie doesn't sleep very well. Between being a dad and a veteran, he's a very light sleeper, always up at the drop of a hat ready to deal with whatever is thrown at him. It becomes a bit of a problem when Buck moves in with him because Buck is a very deep sleeper, but he also moves around, a lot.

Eddie's tired eyes snap open at every single turn, roll, or shift from Buck and while he doesn't hit or kick Eddie in his sleep like Christopher used to do when he was little, it's still not pleasant. He needs his sleep, especially in the line of work that they're both in.

He's at the firehouse, and he's on his third cup of coffee despite the fact that he's practically shaking and not anymore awake than he was after his first one. Then, of course, Buck has to be the one to question him. To tell him that maybe he should slow down with a cute little giggle, or at least it would have been cute if Eddie wasn't so sleep deprived and resentful.

Eddie snaps at him even though he doesn't really want to and he immediately regrets it after seeing the hurt look on Buck's face. Things are awkward after that and even though Eddie is practically falling asleep against the window as they drive out to a call, nobody seems to question him or worry about it.

It's only brought up again when the two men are back at their house, and Buck is holding out a little black case to Eddie. He frowns at it and then up at Buck, but the other man doesn't offer any more explanation, so he takes the case and opens it up, revealing two small ear plugs.

"What's this?"

"I saw an ad for these things online, and I know you always tell me not to trust things I see on the internet, but this had really good reviews, and I thought, what could be the harm? They're noise cancelling ear plugs, and they're supposed to be able to stay in your ears when you sleep." Buck explains with a small smile.

"How did you..."

"The first few nights I slept over here, I thought everything was perfect, but then there was one time where you must not have woken up before me, and I found you sleeping on the couch. The more I slept over, the more tired you looked and then today... well, I figured the lack of sleep must be from me because Chris rarely needs you anymore, at night anyway." Buck shrugs. "I don't want to stop sleeping over here, and I don't want you to have to forfeit your own bed, so I'm hoping these will work."

That night is the first night that Eddie uses those earplugs. It takes an hour or so to get used to them, but he's so tired that he falls asleep without much trouble and honestly? It's the best sleep he's ever had. He sleeps for a full 8 hours and doesn't even hear how much the sheets rustle when Buck moves and if he wakes up early and well-rested enough to participate in some grown-up activities before Christopher wakes up? Well, then, that's just between them and Buck's Amazon order history because he feels people need to hear his review.

—

A/N- Hi, I'm so happy you're here. :) If you would like to support me and my writing, please remember to hit the reblog button, as Tumblr has no algorithm and likes (while appreciated) do nothing to get creators work seen. Since Tumblr is hiding all my posts with my Ko-Fi link, THIS is a list of things I need/want while I'm away at Uni if you would like a commission or just to support me. It is beyond appreciated but, of course, not required. ❤️ If you would rather just donate to my Kofi ($3), you can find the link to it through this link. Again, not required but more appreciated than you will ever know. I only have two and a half months before I can leave my abusive household. ☺️

[umseb]

"And at some point I thought: Stop, something is wrong here" – Sebastian Vettel in his first conversation since hisdrawal from Formula 1

He is a four-time Formula 1 world champion and lives in Switzerland. Vettel explains how racing and ecological responsibility go together. And: Will he even return to the premier class?

Mr. Vettel, have you already done something good for the environment today? I was on the bike. Theoretically, I have produced electricity with it, but it is not being fed into the grid yet. However, I made more CO2 in that hour than if I had stayed in bed. But what I find exciting is what resonates with this question: always having to do something good and talk about it. That's not the central point for me. It is important that everyone has a healthy attitude towards the fact that our world is in trouble and what can do to prevent it from getting even worse. It's about attitude, not about one good deed every day.

Would you rather do good and not talk about it? In fact, you become a little more cautious when you talk with enthusiasm and conviction about how you have changed your behavior or what else is going through your head, then you often immediately get the finger wagged. I'm not even interested in the obvious things like solar systems or electric cars. What is much more important is the fact that you take a closer look at many things, become aware of something, and then question your own behavior patterns or decisions.

But you actually do good, as we know. I have trouble walking past something that others have dropped, be it a piece of trash or even just plastic. I wonder what must be going on with people who just throw things out the car window and why people don't even think a step further. It's not correct to expect that anyone will abolish it at some point.

Is this how you raise your children too? Of course that carries over. When we walk through the forest together and they see a candy wrapper lying there, they shout: Is that necessary? But I don't want the walk together to be colored negatively by only remembering this one thing that wasn't nice - and not the good air or the funny cloud. Behavioral patterns can be inspiring when I see that the little one are already dealing with packaging waste differently.

The racing drivers used to move to beautiful Thurgau because it is so close to the airport. How are you traveling? Many people have this classic image in their heads: He's a racing driver, so he always drives a car, and always always. But to be honest: I don't have that need. It was certainly different when I had just gotten my driver's license. By the way, today I prefer driving a car again than when I was active in Formula 1; I can enjoy it more. Before I get on a plane today, I tend to take the car.

Do cars even have a future in private transport? Of course, in Switzerland we are very spoiled when it comes to public transport - because it works. I really enjoy taking public transport, especially when I want to go to Zurich. You can get anywhere in Thurgau, but it just takes a little longer. Where I live there is nothing except a mailbox and a bus stop.

A four-time Formula 1 world champion can do that so easily? Of course, I have no problem with it at all. I also don't understand when other well-known people develop a paranoia that they could be recognized or harasssed. I always tell them: Yes, you too can take the bus or train. Of course I'm not Roger Federer, it's probably a little different for him. But I think people mostly travel because they want to go somewhere, not because they want to recognize anyone.

Lewis Hamilton once told the NZZ that what he appreciated about his time in Zurich was that he was able to move around in peace most of the time. For me it's the Swiss mentality, which requires more discretion. At the beginning no one knew me anyway because I was way too young. And the country is not necessarily a Formula 1 hotspot since. But even when I was traveling in Scandinavia with my VW bus and family last year, I didn't have any unpleasant encounters.

Bus, VW bus – is that your new pace of life? Yes, my pace has slowed extremely. There are already things that I miss. But that doesn't mean I miss the adrenaline rush from speed. I lived for the moment, the competition. That's what I miss most. As intense and as fast-paced as my old life was, I am sometimes surprised that I can cope with the slowness so well now. Everything adapts to the family’s pace. With children you need and learn patience. I'm more surprised that some people think: once a racing driver, always a racing driver. I never fit into many of the clichés anyway; I rather enjoyed things that were considered boring.

Are you looking for freedom on your camping trips? I not only want to gain freedom, but I also want to pass on the freedom that I had and have to my children. It's different to read about sea creatures in a book than to stand in the North Sea and see the lugworm in real life.

But the extreme tension in motorsport, this total focus, is it so easy to get away from it? It's a process, and it's probably still ongoing for me. Sometimes I miss the tension from the old world. But my days are still full. I still haven't found the time for a lot of the things I wanted to do. The result in sport is everything, and because I come from this very extrinsic world, I can say: I don't have that much to show for it after I left Formula 1.

Can you explain that in a little more detail? This constant evaluation from outside that I had since I was a child has completely disappeared; there are no longer any results lists lists. I have a lot of ideas and I'm doing a lot more things than in all the years before. I wanted exactly this idle time in which I didn't immediately dive into the next full-time job. I thought about quitting for several years. And at some point you can no longer push away the thought of ending your career. I'm busy translation this passion that I lived out in motorsport into another language and finding something new. Neverthertheless, knowing that the new thing may never trigger the same feeling as before.

There are skiers who stop and then start racing cars. When I go skiing, I so almost go. But I don't just shoot to be the fastest, I have more fun with the swings. There are many things I try my hand at. For example, I really enjoy working with wood. I would like to be more perfect at this, and of course I get annoyed when something doesn't work right away. But how can it be, the first time? But your own personality is somehow part of everything.

What is your yardstick for a happy day today? It starts with asking yourself questions: What does happiness mean? What is satisfaction? What do I want to do with my life? That is a very great good.

Do you like being a family person? It was a very conscious decision to start a family back then. At 26, I was very young by today's standards. I remember when our first daughter was born, I read in a brochure at the hospital that babies can sleep up to 20 hours a day. Great, I said to my wife, it's working. Well, we didn't have a brochure child. It took three years for her to sleep through the night.

Did you give up a lot because of motorsport? When you're in the machinery of sport, it just keeps going. I was amazed at how much I was traveling, even though I always spent as much time at home as possible and gave up a lot of things to do so. Now that I actually have more time, other relationships with the children are developing. I can tell a bedtime story every night instead of just twice a week. When we go to museums, I can see how children see the world. I find that really exciting, so because there is a lot of identity in it. On the one hand, your own influence, on the other hand, the influence from outside. It also makes me question myself.

Your identity is that of a champion. Part of the exciting part is the question of what that did to me, how my world was shaped by it. I think I lived it very intensively. And I can well understand if someone wants more and more joy and success and even becomes addicted to it. But I always had a healthy distance from it; my identity didn't depend too much on it.

What caused you to become more interested in the environment than in motorsport? There wasn't a moment when it clicked for me. As you get older, you perceive things differently and more strongly. When we talk about the future in Formula 1, we mean the next season or the season after that. Everything else was very abstract, the future was just a dictionary definition. But hey presto you have children, you want to be there for them and if possible protect them for the rest of their lives. Life happens, this is how a real future is created, the word becomes plastic. And at some point I thought: Stop, something is wrong here. What is actually going on with our world? Isn't there much more important than what has been been important to me so far? I am a very curious person and am quick to ask questions of myself and others. And suddenly a huge world opened up in front of me - with huge problems. Bigger than just the problem of making a racing car faster. I started to become really interested in politics for the first time.

That sounds like a radical change. Starting with the question: What is my life anyway? What is this footprint everyone is talking about? How do you measure it? I did some research and started writing down how I get around. And as soon as I collected data and information, I started to change my life. I stopped flying on a private jet, which used to be common practice due to time constraints and comfort. Lo and behold, it wasn't a problem to stand in line with everyone else at the airport. Twelve hours in the car to Barcelona didn't hurt my race preparation; we actually enjoyed stopping along the way and discovering Avignon, for example. The things I gave up were not freedoms, but habits.

But for many drivers, owning a car means freedom. Most cars are parked 98 percent of the time, so they are more like stationary vehicles than vehicles. But what would would our cities look like if intelligent mobility, e.g. no longer needed parking garages? There wants be radical changes in the cityscape, like when cars replaced horses. I understand that many people are afraid when something changes. But they miss the opportunity to see how much better things could be for them if cities become more livable, safer and cleaner. Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those people who groans when a car drives past me and immediately feels sick.

Back to our problems: Is e-mobility the solution? I believe it is a solution. It makes sense, especially the efficiency of the drive speaks for it. There is still a lot of movement on the topic, including when it comes to questions about raw materials, disposal and the energy required during production. But the materials for the combustion engine also come from somewhere. The electric car makes perfect sense in cities, and it will play a central role elsewhere too. The range can be planned; very few people get up in the morning and say: Today I want to spontaneously go to Paris and back again. As far as the supposed lack of emotions when driving, I can tell you: Yes, you feel something. I actually don't want to drive anything else, it's so pleasant to drive. There are still challenges, but they can be solved. The question is: what would be the alternative?

They are working on synthetic fuels and are even demonstrating them in Formula 1 racing cars. All of us, individually and as a society, must have found a solution to all the emissions we create because of the way we move, the way we live or what we eat. There are already a lot of options, and it would just be lazy to say: That doesn't work. Synthetic fuels are a bridging technology; hydrogen, with or without combustion engines, or fuel cells can be the solution for heavy transport. We just need to redouble our efforts to move away from the old. There is no silver bullet to solving problems, which we always dreamed of in Formula 1.

You have also invested yourself in a Swiss company that stores carbon dioxide in stone. There are always many exciting approaches. I looked at what the Climeworks company is doing in Iceland; it works very well there due to the geological conditions. If you are interested in something like that, you automatically slide into other subject areas.

Have you ever thought about visiting ETH? It is represented in practically all future fields. I'm still deciding whether and if so, what I should study. After graduating from high school it would have been mechanical engineering, but that would be too dry for me today. Maybe I would rather do something creative, with my hands.

Maybe an apprenticeship instead of studying? I have already taken a few courses in agriculture. I came to the topic through nutrition, which is extremely important for professional athletes. Of course I had heard that organic is better. But what exactly is organic, why is it better, what do they do differently? During Corona I did a small internship on a farm. There is something grounding about it in the best sense of the word. Being a farmer is a great job. And I think it's a shame that he isn't sufficiently appreciated in our society.

How do you feel about Formula 1? Are you even watching anymore? Yes I do. I wanted to try withdrawal at the first Grand Prix after my last race. I actually didn't watch the training, but shortly before qualifying I had to give in and tuned in. I also watched the race. It wasn't as strange a feeling as I had previously thought, watching and no longer sitting in the car. I then saw a few races throughout the year, or at least watched the highlights. Because of course I'm still interested in the sport, even if I'm no longer that close to it. I watch with my wife and usually comment unconsciously. She says it's the first time she's really understood the sport. And if I'm right with a pit strategy, then it'll go down like oil.

Is it still appropriate to watch men driving around in circles for an hour and a half? I'm far too close to say it isn't. I love this sport, it is so multifaceted and full of depth. But I also understand that many things are too complex to be understood in an hour and a half. For me the fascination is still there. But of course I'm not neutral since.

Do you have a favorite that you're keeping your fingers crossed for? Last year belonged to Max Verstappen. Of course some people find it boring, but I think it doesn't give enough respect and recognition to his achievements. I, for one, at the full of admiration. Even for someone like the ski racer Marco Odermatt. It's not that the others are doing something wrong, they really try everything. But Max and Marco do it so much better. They give the sport its shine. That excites me. So because I still know what success feels like.

So no boredom at all? Everyone has their own view of tension. Someone from England recently asked me: “Say, skiing, can you watch it on TV?” I said: “Sure, it’s a great thing here, in Austria and Switzerland it’s the national sport.” He replied: "That's really boring, you're just racing against the clock." I said: 'Yes, but you see in which position someone is driving and this and that. . .» To which he said: “Okay, but they don’t race against each other.”

Are your children actually allowed to watch the Netflix series “Drive to Survive”? You haven't asked for it yet. But I only watched one episode when the series came out. I found it a bit strange because it was so unrealistic. But of course I understand that it has brought a lot of attention and a new audience to motorsport. This is not possible with hours of explanations about how to adjust a damper. On Netflix, viewers feel like they're learning more, partly because there's more drama. But when I feel the need to find out more about the current Formula 1, I don't reach for the remote control, I reach for the telephone.

Formula 1 cannot ignore climate change. I have very strong opinions about what Formula 1 was, what it is and what it can be. Big sports are also big platforms; they can achieve a lot of positive things because they reach so many people. That's why I believe that this brings with it a great responsibility. Formula 1 can no longer avoid the big issues of our time. I still remember what was drilled into us during the media training in the young talent series: don't take a position on the topics of sex, money and politics, don't have an opinion, and ideally don't say anything. Nobody can afford that anymore, especially not an entire sport. There are already issues that Formula 1 has to address.

That would be? The type of vehicle drive is crucial, even if cars only make up a small part of the emissions. But the engine shapes the image. I see this as a huge opportunity for Formula 1 to set a good example instead of just harping on about something old. Otherwise I see a great danger that motorsport will be threatened with extinction in the long term if it continues to involve things that are no longer accepted by society. In Germany this can already be felt to a certain extent; the hype no longer exists. Is that just because no German is winning at the moment, or is the country a little further along in this respect and is dealing with other issues?

Would you be interested in becoming the environmental ambassador for the series? Change has to come from within, skiers are the best example. When I talk to people from the ski circuit, they see how climate change is affecting the racing calendar. In Formula 1, the race in Imola had to be canceled because the soil could no longer absorb the rain and the entire region was flooded. And in Canada only the wind would have had to change and the smoke from the nearby forest fires would have made a race impossible. A lot of money is involved in motorsport. Taking care of certain things costs money, but it has to be included. Last year I carefully started raising awareness myself with a small project to protect insects. The loss of biodiversity is a very serious issue. I also have some ideas for the new season. That's why I'm talking to Formula 1 boss Stefano Domenicali about what can be done.

One last question about career orientation: With Lewis Hamilton's move to Ferrari in 2025, a lot will shift in Formula 1. How close are you to a comeback? I was surprised by this change. Mercedes team boss Toto Wolff didn't call me, but we briefly exchanged text messages. But so far it's not an issue for me, because at 36 I still have all the time in the world. So this doesn't go away. But my signs haven't changed. I think that I have learned and understood a lot in this one year without racing, including about myself. Being on the other side had a big impact on me; a lot of questions came up. So far there is no active project.

Is that a clear no now? No. I already said back then that there wouldn't be clear no in that sense, because I already said back then that there wouldn't't be clear no in that sense, because I believe that everything is a process. And maybe there will come a point at which I say: Yes, I would like to go back. When I sort it out mentally so that it suddenly makes sense again. But at the moment I'm doing very well without driving in Formula 1. There is no firm no, but also no firm yes.

Are you doing something good for yourself today? I'm going for a medical check-up now. This is mandatory if you want to keep your racing license.

[bsdndprplplld]

tips for studying math

I thought I could share what I learned about studying math so far. it will be very subjective with no scientific sources, pure personal experience, hence one shouldn't expect all of this to work, I merely hope to give some ideas

1. note taking

some time ago I stopped caring about making my notes pretty and it was a great decision – they are supposed to be useful. moreover, I try to write as little as possible. this way my notes contain only crucial information and I might actually use them later because finding things becomes much easier. there is no point in writing down everything, a lot of the time it suffices to know where to find things in the textbook later. also, I noticed that taking notes doesn't actually help me remember, I use it to process information that I'm reading, and if I write down too many details it becomes very chaotic. when I'm trying to process as much as possible in the spot while reading I'm better at structuring the information. so my suggestion would be to stop caring about the aesthetics and try to write down only what is the most important (such as definitions, statements of theorems, useful facts)

2. active learning

do not write down the proof as is, instead write down general steps and then try to fill in the details. it would be perfect to prove everything from scratch, but that's rarely realistic, especially when the exam is in a few days. breaking the proof down into steps and describing the general idea of each step naturally raises questions such as "why is this part important, what is the goal of this calculation, how to describe this reasoning in one sentence, what are we actually doing here". sometimes it's possible to give the proof purely in words, that's also a good idea. it's also much more engaging and creative than passively writing things down. another thing that makes learning more active is trying to come up with examples for the definitions

3. exercises

many textbooks give exercises between definitions and theorem, doing them right away is generally a good idea, that's another way to make studying more active. I also like to take a look at the exercises at the end of the chapter (if that's the case) once in a while to see which ones I could do with what I already learned and try to do them. sometimes it's really hard to solve problems freshly after studying the theory and that's what worked out examples are for, it helps. mamy textbooks offer solutions of exercises, I like to compare the "official" ones with mine. it's obviously better than reading the solution before solving the problem on my own, but when I'm stuck for a long time I check if my idea for the solution at least makes sense. if it's similar to the solution from the book then I know I should just keep going

4. textbooks and other sources

finding the right book is so important. I don't even want to think about all the time I wasted trying to work with a book that just wasn't it. when I need a textbook for something I google "best textbooks for [topic]" and usually there is already a discussion on MSE where people recommend sources and explain why they think that source is a good one, which also gives the idea of how it's written and what to expect. a lot of professors share their lecture/class notes online, which contain user-friendly explenations, examples, exercises chosen by experienced teachers to do in their class, sometimes you can even find exercises with solutions. using the internet is such an important skill

5. studying for exams

do not study the material in a linear order, instead do it by layers. skim everything to get the general idea of which topics need the most work, which can be skipped, then study by priority. other than that it's usually better to know the sketch of every proof than to know a half of them in great detail and the rest not at all. it's similar when it comes to practice problems, do not spend half of your time on easy stuff that could easily be skipped, it's better to practice a bit of everything than to be an expert in half of the topics and unable to solve easy problems from the rest. if the past papers are available they can be a good tool to take a "mock exam" after studying for some time, it gives an opoortunity to see, again, which topics need the most work

6. examples and counterexamples

there are those theorems with statements that take up half of the page because there are just so many assumptions. finding counterexamples for each assumption usually helps with that. when I have a lot of definitions to learn, thinking of examples for them makes everything more specific therefore easier to remember

7. motivation

and by that I mean motivation of concepts. learning something new is much easier if it's motivated with an interesting example, a question, or application. it's easier to learn something when I know that it will be useful later, it's worth it to try to make things more interesting

8. studying for exams vs studying longterm

oftentimes it is the case that the exam itself requires learning some specific types of problems, which do not really matter in the long run. of course, preparing for exams is important, but keep in mind that what really matters is learning things that will be useful in the future especially when they are relevant to the field of choice. just because "this will not be on the test" doesn't always mean it can be skipped

ok I think that's all I have for now. I hope someone will find these helpful and feel free to share yours

[biconickyoshi]

Hello! I wanted to ask, in The Avatar and the Fire Prince AU, how does reincarnation (The Avatar Cycle) works? In Canon, the Avatar is a human soul (Wan) who after death reincarnates on Earth in a new body to live a new life with the Spirit of Peace (Raava) bounded to it. But how about in your AU? I'm asking because I want to know whether or not we're going to have a scene with Aang having an existential crisis over the fact that in his previous life he was Zuko's great-grandfather.

Hello anon! :) Yes, I do my best to ensure that my AU is as canon compliant as possible when it comes to lore (including all known lore from Legend of Korra, the comics, the TTRPG, and the Chronicles of the Avatar novels), so the Avatar Cycle does indeed work the exact same.

I honestly haven't given a ton of thought to Aang and Zuko's reaction of who Roku was (though it will definitely still be revealed at some point just like in the show). While I think they would both maybe find it a little weird of a coincidence at first, I don't think it would cause either of them to freak out or anything lol.

We've definitely seen weird coincidences/connections like this before with other Avatars - for example, Kuruk and Hei-Ran were past lovers (before he met Ummi), and then he was reincarnated as Kyoshi, who fell in love with Hei-Ran's daughter Rangi. Then we have Korra, who was taught waterbending by someone who is basically a grandmother figure to her (Katara), and who was also technically "her" wife in her past life. She was also taught airbending by someone who is a father/uncle figure to her (Tenzin), who was also technically "her" son in her past life.

In general, there seems to be an understanding amongst everyone in the world of AtLA that each Avatar is very much their own distinct person, each with different lives, memories, and personalities. Sometimes more spiritual people - like Toph for example - can see that the Avatar has the same spirit/soul, but again, even Toph knows Korra is her own person and not just Aang with none of his memories lol.

Of course, if Aang had a problem like Yangchen did in which he was constantly having flashbacks to memories from his previous lives, then I'd say that yeah lol, he'd be much more likely to have an existential crisis. But as far as we know, Aang does not have any "memories" of living as Roku or any other previous Avatar - he only views previous Avatars' life events from an outside perspective. And even if he did have the ability to "remember" living as Roku, at least he wouldn't be able to "remember" actively being a grandfather to Zuko, since Zuko and even Ursa were born decades after Roku's death. That would definitely be awkward if that wasn't the case lol.

All of this has actually got me thinking about the theory where an Avatar could possibly reincarnate as their own child/grandchild/relative, especially with mixed-ethnicity/nation families becoming more common in the time of Korra. Like, say an Earth Avatar dies right as their child with someone of Fire Nation descent (or their grandchild, or sibling, or cousin, etc.) is born. As long as they have the right DNA, a relative of the Avatar could theoretically be the next Avatar in this scenario. The closest thing I could compare this to is like a Steven Universe situation (where he kind of both is and isn't his own mom - it's hard to explain if you haven't seen that show lmao).

Anywayyyy sorry for the long ass response anon lol. I just love talking about AtLA lore! :)

[give-soup-please]

Reader finding Narrator’s romantic writings about them

Your place has gotten pretty disorganized recently, and it hasn’t been great for your mental health. You decide you need to tidy up and get rid of some things. 

The narrator shrugs his shoulders at this. Of course, he wants you to be in a good space mentally, but mess doesn’t really bother him that much.

Parts of the office were cluttered, and if he really gets overwhelmed, he can always pop out of the physical plane of existence and just be a voice. But if it makes you happy to clean, he’s not going to protest.

You do a few loads of laundry, take the trash out, and begin organizing some papers the narrator left around. You ask him permission before doing this, and he waves you off, saying that those were old projects and that he didn’t care what happened to them.

Well, you found something you hadn’t really anticipated. You’re leaning against his desk, trying to keep a neutral face while you read.

It’s… detailed romantic descriptions. About you and him. How soft he imagines your skin to be, how tenderly you look at him when the lovelight is in your eyes, his strong and firm arms wrapping around you, passionate kisses and declarations of affection. Holy-

You keep reading. Chapters of undying love, pages of yearning, paragraphs dedicated to how soft your lips are- You’re becoming more flustered and giddy by the second. The narrator walks back in.

“Ah, I see you’re taking a break. Found anything inter-” He stares at you with wide eyes. Your expression- You’re looking up at him and grinning shyly. Your face is flushed, and you’re giggling. What on earth?

“Ahem. Yes, I know my writing is excellent, but that’s a new reaction. What did you-”

He remembers what was in the pile of papers now. He had forgotten- He’s always had slight memory problems- 

He rushes forwards and snatches the pages from your hands. “That’s enough of that, thank you. I- I need to-” His face is burning. Oh, the humiliation, and the inevitable rejection-  “I don’t know how these papers got in here, I- I’ve never seen this writing before in my life.”

You try very hard to not laugh, knowing that he’s not in a position to take it well. His writing style was very iconic. No one could write like he did, let alone break into your home and leave the pages around. It was the most bald faced lie he’s ever told you. 

“But- I didn’t get to the ending!” You whine, grinning. “Do we make it as a couple, or does the evil Lord Dred-ful keep us apart? Come on man, don’t leave me in suspense. It’s fantastic work, some of your best.”

He’s caught in between his ego and his embarrassment. He blusters and stumbles through a mishmash of sentences. “I- you- it’s, well- The thing is-”

You continue to tease him. “Now if my literature analysis skills are any good, I’d say you like me. More than like me, if your reaction is anything to go by. Tell me, are you just as passionate a man as you are a writer? Maybe we should find out~”

His stuttering and stumbling gets worse. You’re actively flirting with him instead of being disgusted or horrified, so he supposes it’s a victory. “I-I-I-I-”

You finally take pity on him. “I feel the same way. I love you, narrator. Without reservation or hesitation.” You’re quoting him, writing your character. It’s an odd feeling. “For real though, do you want to try and make a romantic relationship work? I’m very willing, but if you’re hesitating, we can just remain friends. No pres-”

He pulls you into a kiss. You hum delightedly and kiss him back. You pull away after a few minutes, both panting.

“...So. How’d your writing compare to the real thing?” You ask.

“...” 

“...”

“...”

“...Your lips are more wonderful than I wrote them to be.” Woah, now that was high praise. Not only not taking the opportunity to boast, but to make you feel good about yourself?

You drag him in for another dozen kisses. You resurface again, the both of you completely love drunk.

“Your writing is going to improve with how much hands-on experience I’m planning on giving you.”  

You’ve never seen him so happy. 

[steddiebang]

Steddie Bigbang Weekly Round-up: November 1 - November 4

Remember Me, Love (when I'm reborn) Author: @stevebckley and on twitter / Artist: @fancycheliniarts and on twitter Steve Harrington was born an Alpha. Everyone in his life had expected him to be an Alpha so they weren't surprised

Everyone except himself.

After over two years of saving every spare dollar, Steve is finally ready to take the final leap to transition from the Alpha he appears to be, to the Omega he’s always known he is. When the clinic pairs him with Eddie Munson as the Alpha that is meant to help guide him through his transition, it only takes one meeting for Steve to realize that he may not want to let go of Eddie when it’s all over.

The Baby Project Author: miraculousmultifan / Artist: @danadaria. Steve turned around with a grin and propped his elbows up on Munson's desk. Then, before he could really think about the words coming out of his mouth, he said, “Guess that makes us married then, huh darling?”

Munson, of course, stared back at him blankly, but instead of backtracking or something, Steve batted his eyelashes for good measure, really hamming it up.

Munson blinked at him once. Then twice. Then he raised an eyebrow and said, deadpan, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

In the last month and a half of Steve's senior year, he gets paired up with Eddie Munson for the final project in Mrs. O'Donnell's Home Economics class. The assignment? To take care of a fake baby for four weeks. For some reason, Steve finds himself surprisingly excited. Eddie, not so much.

I Wanna Be Adored Author: @StrangerThings1975 / @strngrthngs1975 (twitter) / StrangerThings1975(ao3) / Artist: gimmekaseddie (twitter) / @gimmedemosteve (tumblr) Eddie thinks it would be cool to add a fake demon summoning ritual into his song lyrics. He thinks it’s even cooler when the summoning actually works... eventually. At first, though, he’s just wondering what the hell Steve Harrington is doing at his door.

“What is it exactly that you want, Eddie? What are your deepest desires?”

And they thought he was the freak?

“Dude.” Eddie threw him a look. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I know one of them.”

“Oh, and what would that be?” He couldn’t resist taking the bait.

trouble’s always gonna find you, baby (but so am i) Author: tumblr strangersatellites / twitter strngrsatellite / Artist: tumblr becomingfoxes / twitter becomingfoxes / Artist: tumblr amethyst-crowns / twitter amethystcrowns Steve Harrington has spent the better part of the last five years knocking out hit after hit for the Assassin’s Guild and becoming one of the most lethal agents in the business. After a series of unprecedented, wildly successful cases across the country, his boss pulls him off the active case roster for eight months. He’s been keeping tabs on the Chicago Syndicate for years and has finally deemed Steve ready to take out their leader, The Sandman.

The only problem is that undercover agents have been able to turn up little to no information regarding The Sandman’s identity. The only information the Guild has been able to dredge up is the name of one of their business fronts: a sophisticated private nightclub called Hellfire, and the name of its director, Syndicate member Eddie Munson.

or: Eddie is a low ranking member of the mafia and Steve is the assassin hired to kill his boss.

(i fear) for what tomorrow brings Author: eiqhties (tumblr / AO3) / Artist: sullymygoodname (tumblr / AO3) Since Starcourt, Steve and Eddie have been meeting (and falling in love) secretly. Until - frustrated by Steve’s secrecy - Eddie ended things between them. Steve doesn’t cope well. He’s been having nightmares, nosebleeds, and painful headaches. 

Everything is made much worse after Chrissy Cunningham dies in Eddie’s trailer. Steve is forced to watch as Eddie becomes involved in everything Steve tried so hard to protect him from. 

Or: Steve Harrington’s No Good, Very Bad, Awful Month. 

nobody rules these streets at night like me Author: maxinemaxmayfield [tumblr / ao3] / Artist: maikaartwork [tumblr / twitter] Eddie Munson has never stayed in one place for long. 

When his mom disappears for the last time and his dad goes to jail, he has no other family to turn to. He spends his teenage years moving through the foster system, making friends and then losing them just as quickly. In the end, there’s never any reason to stay. 

After he runs away from his fifth foster home, he finds his way to Hawkins, Indiana and for the first time, finds a reason to stay.

At the Start of the End of the World Author: InsaneJuliann /marvelingjules / Artist: mc-i-r Eddie survived the Demobats (if only barely), Max is in a coma, and the Upside Down is seeping slowly into Hawkins. Steve’s doing what he can, looking out for the people he cares about - but who takes care of him? Eddie, who’s cleared of murder charges but only technically, figures he’s got the time and the interest in taking that job on. And maybe, there’s more to the friendship growing between them than just Platonic feelings. But as the Upside Down grows stronger in Hawkins, becoming harder to ignore, and old enemies and allies make themselves known, Steve and Eddie’s growing feelings for each other may have to wait - indefinitely.

An Act of Grace Author: missberrycake / @daysarestranger​ / Artist: @bienmoreau​ / Podficcer: singinginmay / @daysarestranger​ On the morning after Broughton Hall’s annual summer fête, the body of a local Baron’s son was found on the grounds of the estate, as lifeless and cold as the morning was warm. Having spent the summer together, member of the household staff Edward Munson was the first to be suspected. As for the Baron’s son, perhaps there was more to him than the Baron would have society believe.

Decades later, Max Mayfield comes across the murder of Steven Harrington while researching topics for the second season of her hit true crime podcast. Along with her some-time engineer and full-time ex-boyfriend, Lucas, Max uncovers a story of two people that, entwined in secrecy and truths left unspoken, reaches out across history.

Two Truths and a Lie About Steve Harrington Author: endzela [ao3] / Artist: singinginmay [ao3] Steve is desperate to find a date for his high school reunion, and his best friend Eddie volunteers to pretend to be his boyfriend. What Eddie doesn’t know, however, is that Steve has had a crush on him ever since they became friends in college, and although Steve is not planning on letting him find out about it now, spending a week together in the same room might make things difficult. Especially since Eddie keeps flirting with him at every chance he gets.

As the poets say Author: ChristinMKay / @transmascsteveharrington / Artist: @quokkafoxtrot / Artist: riddletalks Eddie loathes the idea of soulmates. The words his soulmate will say the moment they realize they are in love with him sit heavy on his wrist. Heavy like a burden, like a cursed prophet, harbinger of death. Others cry tears of joy when they get their words, Eddie had cried tears of anxiety. The dark letters on his wrist read, “Dustin died.” On the other side of town and yet worlds apart from Eddie, Steve loathes the words on his wrist just as much. Not because he doesn’t want a soulmate. No, he longs for them every day. And every day is a painful reminder that he hasn’t found them yet when someone randomly calls out his words. The letters on his wrist simply say, “Hey Steve.”

tin roof rusted Author: @bdelaney_ao3 [twitter] [ao3] / Artist: @themeanderingty /. Artist: @cemeterylight / @cemeterylights Steve had always been someone who thinks of sex as something that was shared between people, never something that could be just for himself. After coming to terms with his sexuality, Steve finally finds the nerve to visit the adult store where Nancy works only to find something so much better than a toy along the way: the owner and resident king of nerds, Eddie Munson.

22 upcoming projects to be posted next week (Nov 5 - Nov 11).

*To keep up with all the Steddie Bigbang 2023 posting, be sure to follow us @steddiebang or track tags #steddiebang23 masterposts, #steddiebang23 project promo, or #steddiebang23 upcoming projects.

[jess-fae]

Corruption, oh sweet Corruption

Summary: you grew up in a Christian household which lead to you becoming a nun. While going through old scrolls of the archive you find a old Latin text, you ask an older nun to help translate it and she does. Problem while you do the ritual you pronounce something wrong and summon a sex demon also known as hobie...

(Also the reader did have a crush on a girl before yk genderfluid hobie and all)

Trigger warning: +18 smut, afab, GENDERFLUID HOBIE,religious themes, religious trauma, the Christian God? P in V, reader is around 19? I am not Christian today but I was when I was younger, I do not know how british accents work

Since you can remember your life as always revolved around God. The Christian one to be specific. Your life was already planned by the time your first birthday came around, after you turned 16 your training to become a nun started, this was now nearly 3 years ago.

You started your day as usual, prayers, church service, breakfast ect. But after lunch you decide to go to the archive, studying the scrolls and books actively. When a rather old one fell in your hands, it was written in Latin a language you only roughly knew. Deorum ritu it read which roughly translated into "God's ritual". Pecking your interest you decided to go to a older Nun asking her for help with the translation, which she so kindly did. By the next day you had found out that it was a ritual only the most devoted dared to go through with. It would give God full access to your mind, proofing your devotion to him.

You wanted to proof to God just how loyal you would be to him. So you gathered everything you would need which included candles, frankincense and holy water with roses inside of it. Hidding in a smaller room within the cathedral you prepared everything for the ritual. The cold stone-y room was nearly completely dark, exept for the moon light shining through the stained glass and the few candles being the only source of light to you. Excitement rushed throughout your body but also a small amount of uncertainty, after all you were about to lay out every thought, every emotion you ever felt or will feel out to a all mighty God.

With help from the nun you had learned the text in Latin, to really buy into the ritual. Your knees hit the floor as you kneeled infront of the cross hanging on the wall. Words started to rush out of your mouth, one after another till you were finished with the text. But nothing happened, opening your eyes you looked around the room but nothing had changed, you didn't feel different either. Did you do it wrong? Maybe you-

With once the candles were blown out as if they were hit with wind, and darkness filled the room. You turned towards the door thinking someone must have opened it but it was still closed, you looked at it closer till you felt cold hands on your waist making you squirm away, a short scream leaving your lungs before being muffled by one of the hands.

"Shh, dove wouldn't wan' anyone hearing ya right?"

Your eyes widened in horror when your gaze fell on the huge creature. Big horns covered in golden rings and jewellery piercing through the sky. A tail that softly swayed behind him, it was equally decorated with Jewellery and does shiny fangs that were just waiting to pierce his next victims skin. "Who- what are you?" You asked while backing off from him wanting to create as much distance between him and you as possible. The demon however seemed a little more puzzled before staring at your hand that was clunching your rosary. His smirk grew a little wider before he spoke. "The demon you so kindly summoned, you can call me hobie."

You shook your head violently, "no- I." You protested looking up to stare into his honey golden eyes. "I didn't summon you, I prayed to god!" But he only let out a little chucklewas this amusing to him? Hobies hand took yours stealing the rosary right out of it, throwing it somewhere on the ground. "Sure thing,dove. You don't have to be ashamed, most people who summon me are nuns, Christian men or what is in between. They love the forbidden feeling it gi-"

"No! I would never!" Hobie looked a little surprised but his grin quickly came back. It was gonna be so much fun corrupting you, showing you just how usless your god is and how you would be better of without him. Hobie stepped towards you so you automatically stepped back.

"It doesn't matter now tho, you summoned, binded me to ya actually. I know ya, I know what you think, I know what you feel dove. Just like I know that I look like what you most desire." He smirked trying to reach for you'd hand again, you pulled it away falling over in the process. Crawling backwards to get away from the demon, away from sin. His soothing voice started talking again but you didn't listen, this had to be a test by god. To really see how worthy you are of his love. Your eyes landed on the bowl of holy water behind him, if you are just quick enough. Jumping to your feet you reached for the bowl swiftly, splashing the holy water all over the demon.

When he looked up again you saw his eyeliner running down his cheeks, making him look like he cried black tears. Hobie spat out the water that landed in his mouth and attempted to shake the rest of it off his lean body. The remaining water glistening on his exposed chest thanks to the moon light.

"Are ya fucking daft?! Did you- urgh did you really think a little bit of water would kill me?" He spat at you before taking a deep breath in. Crouching down to your level starring in your eyes. "How about ya repeat what ya prayed and we figure this out, mmh dove?" Hobies voice was back to being the most tempting thing on earth making your thighs subconsciously press together.

You did as you were told and repeated your text in Latin and English while he starred into your soul. The words rang disgust within hobie, he never understood why people would choose to follow such a selfish and cruel being. Yet his smirk revived itself when you finished speaking.

"Who helped ya translate it dovie?" He asked smugly. "An older Nun,why?"

"Ya translated it wrong, you think it meant love when it meant lust and ya also didn't pray to god at any point, was always me dove." Hobie laughed as the realisation hit you and tears filled your eyes. This couldn't be, what would god think about you now? You need to redeem yourself. You turned towards the cross, praying, begging for god to forgive you. To see your true intentions. Meanwhile hobie couldn't decided if he found this amusing or sad. Creeping up from behind you,his hands found yours trying to prey them apart stopping the madness of begging for forgiveness. "Come on, dovie it's useless now." Hobies voice seemed so human, comforting even. Another one if his tricks, he's a demon they do anything to get what they want! You kept on praying through. "You are not real! You are simply my imagination a test from god to test my devotion a-and I won't fail him!"

You deluded yourself further and further into madness trying to ignor his cold chest pressing against your back. His voice was layered in lust and temptation as he spoke "God won't help you, he left you long ago dove." Hobies hands funnily got between yours holding them tightly in his, enjoying the warmth your body held. "It's okay, just let me take care of ya, I will be here." His words hurting you slightly but what did he knew? He's a demon, he has never even been close with God. "He hasn't been with you since you were 13, all this-" he gestured around you. "Is just a hopeless attempt to make him love you..."

Imagines of your younger self and her best friend kissing each other, saying that it was all just training for when they will be married to their husbands... you remember how loved and seen she made you feel.

Hobies lips started to nip at the soft skin below your ear, catching you of guard you let out a small whimper. As his hand grabbed hold onto your head wear ripping it off your head, making your hair fall out in the process. "So beautiful, you know tha' dove? Ya know how beautiful you are?" Turning around you once again looked into his eyes, they were soft and even through he was a demon they seemed angelic. He seemed angelic. A soft hand placed on your face, and you couldn't help but lean into it. "God has no right to judge you or anyone. He never did, he just took it selfishly forcing people to live after his standard."

The more he talked the more you wanted to give into him, follow his life of sin. His lips where so close to yours all you had to do was let yours connect to his. It was so easy to fall for sin, to give into it. So easy to make a pact with the devil...

Hobie was no idiot he knew why you were starring at his lips, you weren't cursing him or praying anymore he had you were he wanted you to be. "I can't do anything till you give me permission, dove." He smirked carefully watching your sanity and devotion to God slip away from you. Your eyes pressed shut as you sucked in a breath, before crashing your lips against his. They moved so effortless together, sending you into pure bliss. When you opened your eyes again the demon had changed their form. Still tall and menacingly beautiful but also more femininen. The black wicks had turned into longer locs and boobs had grown on their chest. The smirk was still the same however.

"Wha' you don' like me anymore ,love?" She asked, her voice sounding what you would imagine a siren would sound like when she was about to lure you to the end of a cliff and down in the ice cold ocean water. You were stunned, mouth falling open at her beauty. "You're gorgeous." You blurted out without thinking, making her chuckle. "I know, love." She sang, her hand at first resting on your cheek only to then pull you close to her again. Lips crashing against eachother like the waves of the ocean against the beach, this must be heaven. Your hands mimicked hers, having no real idea as to what you were supose to do. Hobie couldn't help but smirk against your lips, you were already going dumb for her, how lovely.

Grabbing your waist She pulled you on top of her lap, slowly making you grind against her thigh. Moans slipped from your mouth, this felt so good, why would God ever deny such blissful thing?

"Please-" you begged, in between kisses, with no real idea what you were asking for, besides hoping the pleasure would never stop. Not if it was hobie who gives it to you. "Please what love? Speak up for me will ya?" Hobie almost mocked you, smiling so innocently at you as if she wasn't pure sin. "Please... don't stop. I wanna-" you stopped yourself hidding your face in shame, till hobie put her slender fingers between your chin and made you look into her eyes. "Come one, you're a big girl, aren't you lovie?" She tilted her head to the side.

"I-...can you make me feel good? You know more than this?" Slight disgust and resentment laid within you, you should have never asked any of this! But ohh does eyes, hobies being is making sin look like something so good. Something God would never be able to do for you. Her head snapped back her smile becoming her signature smirk again. "How could I say no, if ya ask so nicely?" Grabbing your neck closing the distance between you, the moment you let yourself lose, hobie stood up making you cling your legs around her waist.

Your eyes opened abruptly scared she might let you fall, but her strong arms were holding you so tightly as if she wasn't making her way from your lips down to your neck. Using her claws to rip the fabric apart, giving her full access to your sweet spot behind your ear, kissing and sucking on it just to play with you. Her fangs ghosting over your soft skin, threating to break it, you would be lying if you said you didn't feel a little scared but somehow it also turned you on. Feeling something stroke your back you realised it was her tail bring you even closer to her, making sure you wouldn't run from her.

You let out a little whimper before she sat you on top of the cold stone table. "Hobie~" you whined wanting all the teasing to stop but somehow also not. "You wanna go further lovie?" She asked, to which you nodded swiftly. Claws digged into your gown tearing it apart leaving your skin exposed for her only. "No bra? Naughty girl." She smirked before her lips travelled from your neck across your chest. One hand playing with your nipple while she sucked on the other one, letting her teeth grasp around it ever so slightly, keeping you on edge. You mumbled a small more as your eyes rolled in the back of the head.

But it the pleasure only stopped making you sit up swiftly scared it might all just be a dream. "More? Are you sure you can handle it sweet love? You are already falling apart on me now?" She was mocking you, openly, you pounded. "Yes, yes please. I will be good I promise."

"Alright, but don't blame me if you can't handle it, Angel." Hobie licked her lips but instead of a normal sized tongue a huge one came out. Your mouth fell wide open but before you could say anything, she kissed down your belly. She one last time searched for your eyes before diving into the pure divine.

At first only kissing your clit before giving it kitten licks. "Mmffhh~~" you moaned resting on your lower arms as support. Which didn't do much for you so laid back down, as your arms turned into jelly like the rest of you. Your hands grabbing hold of her horns, bringing her closer to your core. Hobie was right, God could never make you feel like this only she can, you were sure of it. Lifting her head, she blowed on your clit her cold breath making you shudder and whine for her. Hooking her arms around your legs hobie brought you closer to the end of the table, kneeling infront of it. Hand sneaking around to your clit stroking it with circular motion.

Her tounge lapped up all your juices making hobies eyes roll in the back of her head. "Taste so good, my love. All for me right?"

"Yes! All for you."

Before you knew it her tounge trusted inside your hole, making your back arch hard. "Ffu- pffhh, please more!" You sounded so pretty in her ears. So perfect only for her. Hobie did as you asked her too and went fast, making you grab her horns grinding yourself against her. Her nose bumping against your clit In just the right way, sending you over the edge. Your eyes pressed so shut you could see the stars and with one last moan you had came all over her pretty face.

You relaxed letting go of her horns and slowly you opened your eyes, only to see her drenched in your cum. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be love you did amazing, tasted so good." Her words were more slurred as if she was getting drunk on you. Before you knew it hobie had turned back into his male form, as he used his thumb to pick up any left over cum on his face bringing it to his mouth. Sucking his finger dry while holding eye contact with you. "Soo good." He praised you again.

"Wanna make you feel good." You begged and a dark chuckle echoed through the room as you went on your knees. "Ya already are, Dove? Come on stand up, this about you not me." You did as you were told, having his hands lift you back on the table. "So pretty." His lips crashed on yours again a little rougher than before, as his tounge danced with yours, the taste of yourself came to your recognition making you moan into the kiss.

Hobies hands grabbed hold of your waist, squeezing it softly before having you laying back on the table. "Ya ready Dove?" He asked as he loosened his pants, that already didn't leave anything to your once pure and innocent imagination. "Yes!"

"Desperate are we?" He chuckled before he placed himself between your legs, stroking your clit with his thumb again, before dipping two fingers into your core. "Gliding righ' in there ya? Don't even need to prep ya dove huh?"

He continued to do so till he pulled his fingers out eyes squinting together, making you whine at the lost of contact, buckling your hips towards him again. "Stop whining, I asked ya something, would be rude not to answer, wouldn't it?"

"No please, keep going please." He smirked before continuing his work. Fingers scissoring you open and thrusting in you, working wonders on your gummy walls. Yet right before you could cum again the pulled his fingers out, "aww did you wanted to cum." Hobie fake pityed you. "Don't worry you gonna get there soon enough dove."

Hobie stroked rather beautiful dick, you were stunned to see that even his dick was decorated with Jewellery, or rather piercings and not one either, three Jacobs ladder and a prince Albert. "Like what ya see?" He chuckled but you couldn't stop looking at, also wondering if it would even fit. His hand rested on your cheek as he slowly kissed you, while rubbing his dick against your clit. Making you moan in the kiss and pull him closer. Hobie bit on your lip barely enough to not draw blood, while he slid himself inside of your heat.

"Fuck you're tight dove." He groaned as his eyes rolled back, trying to get a hold of himself to not cum already. You whined asking if he was in all the way. "Half way, sweet thing." You opened your eyes, looking where your hips should meet, to see that he was not lying. Whining you threw your head back, as small tears rolled down the side of your face. Meanwhile hobies hand trailed down to your clit again stroking it in small motions which seemed to help as slid right in you. His hips connecting with yours making you both moan out loud. "Fuck~ so good for me aren't ya?" You barley even understood hobie to high of the feeling of him being inside of you. "M-move, please!" Your voice sounded so desperate, nothing like a nun should sound like, the demon did as asked and grabbed a hold onto your hips as he made his way inside of you and out.

His strokes became faster making your eyes roll back and your mouth fell into a o-shape. "Good girl, taking ma dick like a champ!" His praises were like a drug fulling your desire more, never wanting the pleasure to stop. "Hobie~~" you moaned out his name, begging him to go harder. "P-please harder, use me please" you barely even got the words out, your being to mind being to clouded by pleasure. His smirk became more permanent, feeding on your pleasure.

A/N: I'm sorry I never finsihed it but you guys deserve this at the least

[hideousvoid]

General headcanons about the dorm leaders

Warnings: none

Reader/yuu: gender neutral

Riddle Rosehearts

Don't underestimate him. He may be short and look "soft", still Riddle has a bad temper and a dominant personality. This dorm leader decides what you can do or say near him, he is a queen, remember?

Most of the time he doesn't talk or look at you, how could he? This man is pretty busy with all the chaos Ace and Deuce make, leading to rage up the red haired leader. It's very common to find Riddle's face the same color of his hair and the two first years with the heart-shaped collar. Plus he doesn't talk much on his own, not the type of person to start a conversation easily, it's pretty hard for him to not talk like he is ordering you.

Give this poor man some relief, he needs company and a good chat, better with a strawberry tart to satisfy his palate. Don't try to joke about his height tho, at least, if you don't want to be screamed at and kicked out.

Despite his bad temper he can be really calm and sweet, but he never lets go of his severe/strict personality. Don't worry about that too much, he acts so harshly even (especially) with himself.

Leona Kingscholar

This man isn't lazy, it's pretty evident that he suffers of a severe depression. What we see it's his coping mechanism, sleeping whenever he can/want. It was mentioned many times before by Ruggie and Jack that he could do many things, his replies are always similar "I don't want to/i don't feel like doing so".

Rarely you meet him awake or lucid enough, not that he is a talker. He results cold and tends to tease harshly, he wants to stay alone and being able to chat with him is nearly impossible.

If he does think that you are enough to stay near him and, start a conversation you can find out that he is very prideful. He becomes arrogant and competitive, for your own good, don't mention his brother in front of him.

It's not like he has much to say, but not only with you, with Ruggie and Jack too. Passing time with him it's strange, it almost feels like he isn't there, a dead silent in the air emerges. With time you will learn more about him, more about his mysterious and reserved personality.

Azul Ashengrotto

A perfect student, high grades, good with magic and talking to animals. What more can you expect from him? Well, almost everyone in school knows about the monstro lounge and his contracts, who doesn't need a hand? Don't rush to sign, he knows how to trick his preys.

He is very serious about his work and how to get students to come to him, with the hand of the Leeches twins he knows many secrets or problems around the school. Keeping an eye and ear ready to find new informations, surprisingly isn't it? He knows what he is doing.

Don't worry tho, he won't let anyone know about the contract you are making with him, well except the twins. It's rare to meet him out of his office, sometimes you may meet him in the monstro lounge or in class. He has too think and elaborate a lot, especially about finding a higher rank of clients and keeping Jade and Floyd from making a disaster.

You want to talk with him but not about the contracts? He is embarrassed as hell, he knows he isn't the pathetic octopus of years ago but, the other side of him still feels inferior. He may smile after a chat with you, it's not everyday that someone talks to him about his personal life and is actually interested in him.

Idia Shroud

Good luck meeting him, this dorm leader almost never leaves his room. He passes everyday playing videogames or watching anime, of course he doesn't forget to do his homeworks. First the work and then the pleasure, plus Ortho remembers him of them sometimes.

He is socially awkward and knows it very well, this is one of the many reasons of his solitude. Idia never talks with anyone if it isn't very necessary, too difficult to him find a way to not appear an idiot.

If you want to have a nice chat with him do so while playing a board game or videogames, he becomes calm keeping his mind busy with the activity. Can you blame him? He is always in alert before someone makes fun of him for his appearance or the way he stutter.

Praise him for his looks or talents and Idia will become totally red in the face, his hair pink as he tries to run away from you. The blue haired man won't forget it easily, you won a piece of his heart. Why would you lie about such a thing? There's no reason to, or you want to make jokes of him? He will pay more attention to your actions from now on.

Kalim Al-Asim

The easiest one to talk to but not to archive his trust, only Jamil has it since many people attempted to poison him. Even his family members, putting something in his food or trying to stab him, Kalim was raised with the idea that anyone will try to put an end to his life. His father warned him many times as he could about it making his fear bigger and bigger.

He is a sunshine full of joy, the dorm leader is a nice person to pass the time with. You will see how much he can joke, also discovering how energic he is. Sometimes you have to "baby-sit" him for his own good, it's never annoying tho. Jamil is thankful for this, he needs some rest from all his duty in the dorm.

Don't gift Kalim any food, he is traumatized especially for chili. He saw Jamil almost dying after tasting it for security, it was actually poisoned and that lead him to the hospital where he stayed for weeks. It will end in the trash, not because he doesn't want it but it's better not to risk it.

Once you earn his trust you won't have to worry about it anymore, the dorm leader will be happy to see you didn't give up on it. He wants to try your cooking skills since it looked good, new things don't hurt anyone right? Expect many gifts from him tho, being rich and friendly he totally will shower you with them.

Vil Schoenheit

If you think that Idia was hard to find then you can throw away your hope with Vil, he is full of fans and is too busy with his model work. Plus you have to find something to chat with him if you want to get closer, he doesn't talk with just anyone that comes to him.

Vil likes to talk with people that take a lot of care about their looks especially the skin, he can't go around with someone that won't listen to his advice or criticism. If you aren't the type to do so or don't have the forces, try to not show it too much and he can close an eye.

When you finally archive his attentions you are going to lose part of your privacy, Rook will keep his eyes on you making sure you don't have any bad intentions. Vil is full of crazy fans, what if you are one of them too but hide it? He will change his mind once he knows you are secure.

Get ready for when he feels enough close to you, he is setting a routine just for you and you must follow it, he is "wasting" your time for you got it? He will be furious if you use an excuse rather than tell him the truth, it can happen that you forget to follow it but lies are never the right option with him. Choose to lie and a severe punishment is coming for you, Vil won't let it pass unnoticed.

Malleus Draconia

Bold enough to talk with him? Please be, he is always lonely when Lilia or Sebek are there, everyone is scared of him. People tend to avoid him for his cold glaze and that dark aura he gives, around the school is even a myth that if you get closer to him you will receive a curse.

He is actually nice to talk to but his cold tone never leaves, calm and serious but with a low tone of loneliness. Loneliness that made him a little childish and naive, you can surprise him if you talk of modern technology or books.

Still it remains hard to approach him but you can explore abandoned buildings with him! He loves to pass time like this, in fact you may find him around the ramshackle dorm since it was left alone some time ago. A veil of solitude is wrapped around him, how much time has he been treated like this? Enough to hurt even a man like him, it's surprising how life makes everyone feel bad.

Sebek will come warning you about his master, how you must never try to hurt him in any way. An infinite lecture of his powers, fame and how he can become harsh if you mess up. Calm Sebek and he is going to let you go for that, daily he is coming right away over your direction. Lilia knows you won't do anything to Malleus so no warnings from him, but you will receive some teasing anyways.