#and even if i have enough space to store it

[kamitv]

Thinking about Gojo who…

Spoils you like crazy.

He's got so much money and no idea what to do with it so naturally, once he starts dating you he spends ridiculous amounts of money on you.

Plus, every time he buys you something you have that pretty smile on your face that makes his heart ache. He'd go bankrupt just to see you with that smile on your face for all of eternity.

Doesn't believe in personal space whatsoever.

Technically, you picked up on that before the two of you started dating but either way once you're his girlfriend his touchiness only gets worse.

He loves touching you. How could he not? You have such cute reactions when he rests his head on your shoulder or when he grabs ahold of your waist just cause. Plus, you're shorter than him so don't be surprised when he places his hand atop your head because he finds comfort in it.

And even if you were closer to him in height, that wouldn't change anything. You'd be a tree he's willing to climb, a woman he's down on his knees for. Your physical appearance never really matters to Gojo, if you're his-- he's gonna touch you regardless.

Mocks you 24/7.

Especially during sex. He loves your moans but he also loves teasing you when you can hardly speak, making fun of you for not being able to say his name properly as if he's not the reason why. "Toru's cute baby but that's not my name, y'know." "C'monn, you can say the whole thing," He'd taunt while upping the pace of his thrust, fucking you dumb with a smile on his face, "Satoru baby, say Satoru." "Mmh, close but I want you t'say it without stuttering." "Fuck you're so cute mumblin' like that." "Yeah, yeah, that's close enough. S'toru, heh, sounds like you're missin' a letter there, sweetheart."

If you're nagging him about something and facing the opposite direction, he's mocking your mannerisms and hand gestures because he finds them cute.

Follows you around because he's addicted to your presence.

Hungry? He's trailing behind you into the kitchen. Gotta use the bathroom? How convenient, he has to wash his hands and just can't wait. You're on the phone with someone? Well, put it on speaker so he can talk with you!

There's times where you have the nerve to leave him to go to the store alone and Gojo figures it's a simple fix-- he'll just teleport to you, saying something ridiculous like, "I needed to get some more chocolate," after scaring the shit out of you and despite leaving a home with a pantry full of sweets.

Fucks you like a madman.

Well, when you gaze up at him with tear coated eyes and a cute pout on your face, how could he possibly resist fucking you harder?

You’re his woman and he cherishes you of course but in bed he sometimes acts as though he hates you. His cock is so lengthy so he’s always in deep, muttering some nonsense about needed to go deeper despite having you shaking and crying in pleasure beneath him.

From praises to calling you a slut for his cock, Gojo never knows how to shut the hell up either. He knows you secretly like hearing his “annoying” voice during sex so that’s why he’s always talking you through it.

Sometimes his words are soft just to purposefully contrast the way he’s pounding his cock into you.

Knows he’s the strongest but for you, he considers himself weak.

And for you, he’ll tell you over and over how he’s a weak man.

Whenever you look at him, his heart is doing backflips and his stomach is churning trying to figure out the next thing you’re going to say or do so he can react appropriately.

Before you two got together and he was merely crushing on you, he’d get so nervous simply being in the same room as you.

Struggles with self identity and often finds the missing pieces of himself in you

Claims to be scared of women before he met you.

Although he was nervous at first, once he got to know you he suddenly remembered who he was— cheekily flirting with you as soon as you showed the slightest bit of interest toward him.

He’s a dork, really. But he can tell you fell for him that way do he’ll never try to change that about himself.

Is 100% a drama king.

A big pout is almost always on this man’s face over the smallest things. How does someone with infinity stub their toe? You have no idea but Gojo manages to do so just to come pouting and whining to you.

If someone messes up his food order, he’s calling you to take care of it in a heartbeat and then standing behind you with his arms folded as if to back up whatever you’re saying. (Even though he could’ve taken care of this himself perfectly fine).

If you miss even one of his texts or calls, he’s spamming you and then assuming the most outlandish things afterward. You didn’t see his text because you were in the shower? Oh so you hate him and want him to die??

Calls you the silliest nicknames.

Yes he calls you pookie. And yes you laugh every time because it sounds outlandish coming out of his mouth sometimes.

He’ll make shit up too like— my beautiful girlfriend who reminds me of cupcakes with extra sprinkles on top.

As for normal nicknames he’ll settle on calling you baby, love, sweets, or sweetheart in no specific order.

During sex it’s relatively the same but he won’t hesitate to call you a slut or his lil’ cocksleeve whenever he’s really into it.

Occasionally has a way with words that make you gush.

It’d be so random too— the way he’d just look at you one day and tell you something like, “Throughout the heavens and the earth, you alone are the only woman my heart yearns for.”

“You make my days brighter, love.”

“I love the way you laugh, it’s makes me feel like a teenager falling in love every time I hear it.”

“Even in the afterlife, it’s only you I’d ever search for.”

Finds the missing pieces of himself in you.

Gojo’s always struggled with self-identity considering how he’s always been good and anything and everything and how he’s the strongest but after meeting you, it was like he found meaning-, purpose even.

He’s never really had any imperfections so when he meets you, he finds an odd feeling of joy in his heart once he realizes you deem yourself to have a thousand imperfections despite him seeing you more perfect than himself.

Brings you up whenever he can.

Why wouldn’t he? You’re his partner and he loves you.

The conversation could be about the next curse to fight and he’s throwing your name out randomly and talking about how he can’t wait to get home to you.

Smiles at you whenever you’re not paying attention.

Things have always come so easy to him so when he sees that you actually put effort into different activities, he finds it so alluring. How could he possible take his eyes off you when you’ve got your brows furrowed slightly and you’re completely immersed into whatever you’re doing?

Especially if you’re doing something important like work— the way focus takes over your features and you’re immersed into whatever it is you’re doing, he finds it so unbelievably attractive.

Has a smart mouth no matter what.

You could tell him how handsome he looks and he’ll say something like “Oh yeah?” In that cocky tone of his, knowing damn well he’s got butterflies blooming in the pit of his stomach.

“Why are we arguing again?” Is something he’d blurt out mid-debate after you’ve been going back and forth about a specific topic for the past hour or so.

You can try to tell him what to do sometimes but most occasions, he’s scoffing out a, “And if I don’t?” With a brow raised and his arms crossed.

Could get off using a picture of you.

Gojo’s infatuated with you so all he has to do is pull up any picture of you on his phone while his hand is wrapped around his lengthy cock— precum dribbling out his tip at the mere thought of you beforehand.

It doesn’t take much jerking off to a simple picture of you for him to be making a mess all over himself, groaning out your name as if that’ll get you to appear in front of him somehow.

Participates in any and all ridiculous trends you want.

You wanna stack donuts on it? He just so happened to have ordered them already!

Wanna paint your nails the same color as his tip? How convenient, he knows the exact shade for you already.

Put a bow on his muscles just to watch him flex and rip the fabric? He’s got a blue ribbon ready for you to do so.

A/N: Not proofread so sorry if there’s any errors! Also, this is both in honor of my lovely Satoru returning to us and an anon req from a few anons!! <3

Also, thank you guys for 2k followers here, hello?!?! ^.^

[spookwyrdie]

.Riled Up.

{part 1}{part 2}{part3}

Bang Chan x Reader x Han Jisung

word count: 6.2k

summary: Jisung arrives at your front door and Chan goes over a few ground rules for the evening. He's feeling a little extra bossy tonight.

genre: smut, power play

warnings: adult dialogue, sexual content, dom/sub dynamics, jealousy, threesome, piv sex, oral (both m and f receiving), edging, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie, a little M/M

a/n: Here it is! This ended up being waaaay longer than I anticipated, so thank you for your patience lil babies <3

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

I have only posted this here and on AO3 - user: spookwyrdie

The words bounced around Jisung’s mind as he quickly turned the key in his ignition, roaring his car to life. 

“You have ten minutes to be at my front door… If you want another demonstration,” Chan had said and then the line went dead. Anticipation flooded Jisung’s veins as his heart pounded.

After the first moan he heard from you on the phone, he felt his cock twitch and immediately got up to leave the club, nearly jogging to his car. He couldn’t be around the thumping bass while he was trying to focus on the little whimpers that would leave your throat while Chan fucked you with his mouth. He needed to be in an enclosed space so he could really focus on picturing your face when you were mewling. Jisung could hear the slick noises your cunt was making in the background - it made him feel feral. 

It was bad enough that he got hard on the dance floor from you grinding into his thigh. It had started out innocent enough, just helping a friend out while she tried to coax her man to the dance floor. But then you went from zero to sixty, turning around and rolling your hips back into him, pressing your ass directly into his cock. He loved Chan, one of his best friends, always quick with good banter, but he couldn’t ignore how he’s always thought you were dripping with sensuality. It would do him no good to pine after a woman so wrapped up in his friend, so he compartmentalized that feeling so he could enjoy your company. But then you pressed your body up against his and his grip on that boundary loosened. It was so easy to help you out, to challenge Chan, by getting caught up in the way you danced with him. 

The eye contact he had made with Chan was electric, taking the sensation of you grinding on him and ramping up the voltage to a dangerous level. His eyes met Chan’s across the room and it was like the three of you were the only people in the room. He was obsessed with the way he had made Chan’s jaw clench while he watched you rocking your hips on Jisung’s thigh. The way the perfume on your neck lingered in his nose, the way your lip caught between your teeth, fuck… it was all too much. 

Being on the other line of that phone call had been the exact type of torture Jisung loves. His cock was straining against the material of his pants while he drove, images of you on his thigh with Chan glaring at him over your shoulder flashed through his mind. Every new little noise of yours that floated out through his phone’s speaker had him pulsating. He zoned out while on his way over to the house you shared with Chan, wondering what the night had in store for the three of you.

He arrived, pulling into the driveway, and killed the engine. He sat for a moment, steeling his nerves before he built up the courage to approach the house and ring the doorbell. 

Chan answered the door after a moment, cocking an eyebrow and giving Jisung a cocky grin. “It’s been exactly 9 minutes and 43 seconds. Good job following directions.”

Jisung rolled his eyes at the older man, a thrill running through him at the repartee still present from earlier in the night. “Well, it sounded like it might be more fun than the club, anyway,” he replied. 

“I bet it did,” Chan said, opening the door wide and gesturing for Jisung to enter. He had a glass with one finger of whiskey in it, swirling around as he waved his arm. “Follow me.”

~~~

The flickering in the fireplace had you in a trance as you came back into your body. You sat on the couch, tucked away in the corner cushions of the sectional, reeling after Chan had you coming undone in the back of a limo such a short time ago. Chan had gently half-walked, half-carried you into the house, sat you down, and fetched a cold water bottle for you that you were currently sipping. He was currently massaging your wrists where his belt had bitten into your skin, leaving behind red marks and a lovely sting. His eyes were full of affection as he gently rubbed over your sore wrists, murmuring little praises here and there.

“You did really well on the drive home, sweet thing,” he said, bringing your hand to his lips and planting small kisses on your inner wrist. “How are you feeling?”

“So good,” you hummed as you sank into the couch.

“Do you feel up to playing a little more tonight?” 

Chan’s eyes appraised you while you assessed yourself. Having one incendiary orgasm in the back of a limo on his tongue was amazing, but the dull throb was still present between your legs. You felt like that was only a taste of what was to come, so you just needed a moment to catch your breath before the next onslaught of sensation.

“Yeah,” you reply, pulling him towards you by the hand, pressing a slow kiss to his lips. You poured all the gratitude and emotion you felt tonight into that kiss. “I still need you.”

“Excellent. Cumming on my face once isn’t enough retribution for your little show this evening,” Chan said, pulling away slightly, dipping back into the dominant energy from earlier that evening. “We’re just waiting for the rest of our party to join us before I finish the lesson.”

At that, the doorbell rang, your eyes wide, arousal churning in your belly. You had fully spaced out when Chan had invited - no, commanded - Jisung to come over. Truthfully, you hadn’t really expected him to show up. But now that you knew he was here, that ache between your legs became more persistent.

For a while now, you’ve had an attraction to Jisung that you mostly ignored. You enjoyed how he and Chan would bounce off one another, they always made for an entertaining conversation. You usually kept your eyes from wandering too far, but you weren’t blind. Jisung was hot, with his broad shoulders and small waist. He had let his hair get shaggy over the last few months and you had been wanting to sink your fingers into it for a while now.

When the two of you discussed bringing in a third sometime, Jisung’s name got floated, and you hadn’t stopped thinking about it since then. Tonight was an accidental catalyst, provoking Chan’s possessive nature while testing the waters with Jisung. The memory of your hips rocking against his thigh while Chan trailed kisses up your neck hit you suddenly with a bolt of desire, ringing around in your chest and building deep in your core. You shift your legs as Jisung walks into the living room with Chan, and feel how slick you were already just from thinking about that moment on the dance floor. 

Chan has a hand around Jisung’s shoulder as they amble in. “Sweet thing, I was just going over some ground rules for us to all follow for tonight.” He stops Jisung in front of the massive sectional couch you’re sitting on, sliding the younger’s jacket from his shoulders. Chan patted his shoulder and squeezed.

“The most important rule of the night is that you both do what I say. Agreed?” Chan says as he walks around the back of the couch, slinging the jacket over the back cushions. 

You murmur a reply and Jisung nods silently. 

“Voices, I need to HEAR you.” 

“Yes, Chan,” the two of you say in near unison.

“Better,” he clips out. He meanders around the other side of the couch towards you, offering you a hand to stand. You wobble to your knees, still finding your balance, and he pulls you across the room towards the one armchair in front of the fire. “Ji, take a seat on the couch. Get comfortable.”

Jisung moves to take the seat you were just occupying, studying the two of you across the room in the flickering light. There’s a tension in his features, something sultry but a little nervous painting his features. Chan pulls you into his embrace, caressing up your arms. Gently grabbing your face, he draws you close for a kiss. His lips meet yours, tender yet filled with heat. You melt into him, his hands wandering to the back of your neck and up into your hair. His short nails dig into your scalp rhythmically, a soothing touch to match the fire that burned through you. You know beyond measure that anything that happens tonight is built on a solid foundation of love and safety. 

Chan pulls away, taking you by the shoulders and turns you to face Jisung. Standing behind you, his hands roam your body, fingers trailing along your outline. He’s the one presenting you to Jisung this time, a mirror image of your position earlier this evening. You’re like putty in his hands, malleable and warm. His eyes are on Jisung’s, taunting him with your body.

His fingers slip to the back of your dress, pulling the zipper down bit by bit, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. Jisung’s eyes are glued to your form, a faint blush on his cheeks as you watch him wet his lips with his pink tongue. Chan glides his hands under the straps of your dress and edges the fabric down your shoulders. He’s peeling your dress off of you slowly until it falls to the floor in a heap. You are fully naked now since your dress couldn’t accommodate a bra and your panties are still in Chan’s pocket. 

Jisung’s eyes widen as he drinks in the sight of your body. Chan’s hands slide up from your waist to cup your breasts and grips onto them. His fingers brush against your nipples, stopping to roll them between his fingers, having you gasping at the touch. One hand moves to your neck while the other snakes down to your mound, teasing and caressing over the neat thatch of hair framing your cunt. The way his fingers dance along your skin have you shaking in his grip. 

He maneuvers your body over to the armchair and sits with you on his lap, on display for Jisung. You can feel how hard his cock is, still trapped in his pants, pressing into your skin where you’re perched on his lap. Chan hooks his chin over your shoulder, hand drifting towards your glistening folds, and he smiles lazily at the younger man across the room. “She’s already had one orgasm tonight, but look how eager she is for another.”

He spreads your lips as you whimper, clenching around nothing. That hot bolt of embarrassment shoots through you again, but quickly morphs into lust when you see the look on Jisung’s face. He’s taking in your fucked out state, his mouth open in awe. Chan’s fingers start drawing lazy circles around your clit, barely applying any pressure, but just enough to chase his touch with your hips. His other hand snakes to the back of your head, clutching your hair again. 

“You had my mouth earlier, now I want yours,” Chan hisses low in your ear. You nod feverishly and slide onto the floor on your knees, twisting your body so you’re facing Chan. You are perfectly slotted between his thighs, waiting for instruction. 

“Well? You know how buttons work,” he says, full of snark. You scramble to untuck his button up shirt and undo his pants, focused on getting his cock into your mouth as fast as possible. Chan grabs your hands when he notices they’re shaking a little, smoothing his thumbs over your knuckles. You meet his eye and in a calm voice, he says, “Slow down. We’re only just getting started, sweet thing.”

You nod, take a deep breath, and unbutton his pants. You pull them down just past his hips, enough to dip your hand under the waistband of his underwear and pull him out. His neglected cock is a throbbing red. The tip leaks a little when you finally wrap your hands around him. You smile eagerly, looking up to Chan for permission.

He nods. You lick him from base to tip slowly. Hovering over the tip by a few millimeters, you drip saliva off of your tongue onto him. He hisses through clenched teeth as you slowly sink your hot mouth onto him, swirling your tongue around his tip. You moan at the taste of him, salt and musk, something so essentially Chan. He grunts and his hips buck into your mouth at your moan reverberating through him. 

“Fffuck, so good,” he grits out. “Take me all in.”

You feel him twitch in your mouth, bobbing up and down his shaft slowly. Relaxing your throat, you take him further in, your hand holding on to whatever you can’t fit in your mouth. Drool spills out of the sides of your mouth, the noises coming from your mouth getting sloppier. Chan’s hips start matching your rhythm, little grunts escaping his throat as you suck harder, hollowing your cheeks. He groans at the pressure in the vacuum of your mouth. 

Suddenly his hips still, you look up at him through your lashes. He’s glaring across the room at Jisung. The younger man’s hand is on his cock, palming himself over his jeans.

“Did I say you could touch yourself?”

“But, hyung…”

“No.” Chan bites out. “Hands off until I say so.”

Jisung clenches his jaw but does as he’s told. His hands rest on the tops of his thighs, fingers gripping into the fabric. 

“Good,” Chan says, gripping onto your hair once again. He pulls you gently off of his cock with a lewd pop! and takes hold of your jaw, making you look up at him. 

“I think he deserves a little treat for being such a good listener, don’t you?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, batting your eyelashes at him. 

Chan grins wide, his dimples showing. He runs his tongue over his teeth briefly as something wicked tinges his eyes. You look up at him eagerly. With your chin in his hand, he pulls your wet panties out of his pocket. His fingers press on the side of your cheeks, popping your mouth open, his eyes glowing with affection and pride at your easy submission. He loves knowing exactly how keen you are to put your full trust in him. 

He takes the elastic and presses it into your mouth.

“Bite.”

Your teeth grab onto the garment, still soaked in your essence. You’re still looking at Chan expectantly, waiting for his next command. 

“Take those over to Ji,” he says. “On your knees.”

You turn, eyes locking onto Jisung’s face, as you start to crawl across the floor to him. Being on your knees makes you feel more animal than human, a feral lust growing with every move. Hips swaying back and forth, you note how Jisung’s gaze follows the movement like a hypnotist’s pocket watch. When you get to his lap, you slot yourself in between his thighs, still holding the panties between your teeth. 

“Jisung, hold out your hand.”

The younger man’s eyes flick between your face and Chan’s across the room. He places his palm up, cupping it like he’s waiting to hold water in his palm.

“Drop.”

Chan is stern from across the room, his unemotional commanding voice sending a shiver of pleasure through you. You can hear the dominance in his tone, thankful you’re already on your knees. You drop the wet panties into Jisung’s waiting hand. He closes his fingers over them with a gasp and brings them to his nose. At the scent of you, his eyes flutter shut and a deep groan rumbles through his chest. When he opens his eyes again, they’re full of undiluted hunger as he pockets the panties.

You turn to look over your shoulder at Chan. He’s still in the chair, lazily pumping his cock in his fist. “Why don’t you sit on Jisung’s lap, sweet thing. He needs it.”

You crawl up Jisung’s body, his eyes never leaving your form. You rest a knee on either side of him, straddling his body. You grip onto his shoulders as you slowly sit yourself down. Resting at the crux of your thighs, you can feel the swell of his cock pressing eagerly against the fabric of his jeans. 

“Hi,” you say, suddenly bashful at your nudity against his clothed body. 

“Hi yourself,” he murmurs, a small smile gracing his heart shaped lips. “Can I touch you?”

You nod.

“Can I touch her, hyung?” Jisung’s eyes never leave yours as he asks.

Chan’s eyes are bright as he grins, “Yes, good job asking.”

Jisung puts his hands on your thighs as he drifts them up towards your hips. Snaking around your frame, he grips onto your ass, yanking your body towards him a few inches. You lean against him closer, knocked off balance by his pull. In unison, you both moan at the drag of your core against his cock. The distance between your faces close, your eyes flit between his gaze and his open mouth, ready to descend onto him.

“Can I kiss him, Chan? Please,” you whine, desperate to feel Ji’s lips on yours. The silent pause in the room is overwhelming as you feel Jisung’s hands kneading into your flesh. 

“Sure, sweet thing. Show him how good you feel.”

You surge forward as Jisung meets you halfway, closing that small distance between your mouths. Your teeth bump together in the frenzy, making you giggle into his mouth. You whisper a quick apology as Jisung slides his hand into your hair to ease your face away from his for a moment, smiling against your lips. He holds you steady while he goes in again for a kiss, slower and more steady, slanting his lip on yours with a confident determination. He pulls your bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling lighty, smirking with his half smile when he hears you gasp.

Your hands grasp at the fabric of his shirt, bunching it up in your hands and pulling. The idea of his skin on yours has you feeling hot, needing to feel him as soon as possible. 

“Shirt. Off. Now,” you grunt out, your brain is too preoccupied to form a full sentence.

He chuckles as he pulls away, tugging his shirt off quickly. His wavy hair falls into his eyes as you grab his face to kiss him again. You lick lightly against his lips, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. He obliges, tilting his head and gliding his tongue against yours. 

Jisung’s hands roam around your body, trying to learn your shape from feeling alone. One hand grabs the back of your neck as the other finds your hip again as he encourages you to grind into him again. The pressure he applies to your neck as he kneads has the tendons and muscles around your spine jolting with a shock of desire, the sensitive nerves zing! through your body. You lean fully into him now, breasts pressed up against his chest, mewling when his hips roll up into yours, nudging a blissful friction against your clit. Grinding your hips down onto him, your arousal coats the seam of his jeans as you find a rhythm that leaves both of you panting. 

“Fuck, y/n,” Jisung grunts into your mouth before he starts kissing along your jaw. “Better than I ever imagined.”

“You’ve imagined this?” you ask, hips still rolling against his.

“Dreamed of it once or twice,” he murmurs against your skin.

He licks a stripe down your neck, biting down just below your ear, your hips shuddering against him. Every part of your body that is touching his is on fire, a tingling erupting on your skin as your nipples brush against his as you rut against his clothed cock. You’re getting lost in the sensation, groaning at the heat of his mouth as he sucks against your neck. You speed up your hips until you feel another pair of hands on your waist. 

Chan looms behind you, slowing your hips down and directing the flow of motion against Jisung. Leaning towards your ear, he whispers, “Not yet, sweet thing.”

“Hyung, wait-” the younger man starts to say as you lean into Chan’s touch, still rolling your hips into Jisung. 

“Ji, you’re wearing far too many clothes. Y/n, help him out.”

You drop down to your knees again, using Chan as a support for your shaking legs. Your hands fly to the jeans, the seam covering his zipper damp with your arousal, giggling as you undo his pants. Tugging down on his remaining clothes, Jisung’s cock springs free from its confines, slapping wetly against his lower belly. You lean forward to get a taste, but Chan winds his fingers into your hair, holding your head a few inches  away from Jisung’s cock. You stick your tongue out as far as it will reach, trying to touch him, to lick against him. 

A loud slap echoes in the air as Chan brings his hand down on your ass, your hips spasming beneath him. Another slap on the other cheek has you whining, stinging pleasure and blooming pain light up in your core. You’re left clenching around nothing again, arching your back, another wave of hot arousal pumping through your abdomen.

“You have to ask if you want a taste.” Chan grits out. “Do you want to taste Ji?”

You can’t even speak, you just moan in  response and nod. “P-please.”

“Ji, do you want to feel what her hot little mouth can do?”

Jisung’s cock twitches against his belly as his hips shake. “God, yes,” he gasps out. 

Chan still holds your hair, not letting you move just yet. He takes his time, suspended in this moment of control.

“I bet Ji would taste so good on your tongue, it looks like his cock would feel heavy as he pulsates in your mouth.” 

You raise your eyes to meet Chan’s pleadingly.

“And Ji, I know how soft and wet her mouth is. But when she sucks down hard? Fucking heaven.”

Jisung whines this time, his hips bucking up. The tip of his cock coming within millimeters of your mouth. Chan just laughs, gripping hard on your hair before releasing you suddenly. 

“Go ahead, give it a try,” he says, pulling his own shirt off. 

You take no time pouncing on Jisung’s lap, engulfing him with your mouth, taking him in as far as you can. He nearly cries, choking on a moan from the onslaught of pleasure. Your hands rest on his hip bones, pressing him into the couch as he tries to thrust up into your mouth.

“FUCK!” he yells, as your nails dig into his flesh. His hands fly out, grasping onto your hair as he bucks into your mouth, legs quivering beneath you. You whimper from the pull on your scalp, eyes fluttering closed at the intensity of his grip and the taste of him. Jisung’s hips start to stutter, arms flying up to grab the back of the couch, babbling about how hot your mouth is as you suck him down. Chan’s hand suddenly snatches the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you away from Jisung’s cock with a wet pop! A string of saliva still connects your tongue to the tip of his cock.

“HYUNG, WHAT THE FU-” Jisung starts to yell, cock bobbing as his hips chase after your mouth. 

“Hush.” Chan barks out, silencing him. He pulls you up to a standing position. “Remember the most important rule of the night?”

Jisung sits up, crossing his arms. “We do whatever you say,” he says, huffing, still trying to catch his breath. “But you didn’t say anything that time!”

Chan just laughs. “I know. Isn’t it fun?”

He goes to sit on the couch next to Jisung, taking your hand and pulling you down on his lap. Chan’s fully naked behind you, adjusting himself so his cock sits right between your folds. He pulls your back against his chest, leaning you back so your head rests on his shoulder. You loll your head to the side and look at Jisung, reaching out a grabby hand for him to come closer. 

“Ji, come here and admire her,” Chan beckons. Jisung moves over closer to your body, but Chan takes an arm and pulls him in even tighter, leaning up against Chan’s side. “She needs another kiss, I think.”

This time, Jisung cups your face as he presses his lips against yours again. Instead of a feverish heat, it’s tender, more curious. Your tongues explore each other’s mouths, drawing breathy whimpers from your throat. Chan lifts Jisung’s hand that’s cupping your face and places it on your breast. He squeezes the soft mound, grazing over your nipple. It makes your hips spasm and a grunt leaves Chan’s throat, your cunt sliding over his cock.

Chan’s hips thrust upwards, slipping through your wet folds and dragging along your swollen clit. You cry out into Jisung’s mouth. Chan’s hips shudder with effort, he loves taking his time even if it drives you both insane. The blunt head of his cock slides against your clit, building that friction again, your essence mixing with the arousal leaking out of his tip. He groans against your skin, biting into your shoulder as his hand drifts down, fingers finding the sensitive bundle of nerves. He draws lazy circles around your clit while Jisung starts to kiss down your neck towards your breasts. He flicks his tongue over your nipple, looking up at you, giving you that cocky sideways grin again. 

You’re writhing under their combined torture - Jisung teasing your nipples and Chan teasing your clit. You feel your muscles flutter with an edge of frustration, clenching around nothing, begging to be filled. 

“Chan, fucking…please,” you gasp, picking your head up from his shoulder to meet his gaze. 

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me,” you whine, hips grinding down on his cock, still teasing you relentlessly.

“Well,” he says, his voice a little strained. “Since you asked so nicely…”

He lifts your hips a few inches higher so his tip catches on your opening. Readjusting, he sinks you slowly onto him, groaning through a clenched jaw. You’re so slick and warm, the squeeze of your walls almost enough to do him in right then and there. He stills beneath you, allowing you a moment to adjust to the stretch and for him to catch his breath so he doesn’t immediately bust inside you. The way you’re whimpering and rocking against him is almost too much. 

“Jisung, kiss her. Shut her up,” he grits out. 

Jisung obliges, shifting back up to your face and capturing your lips again, biting down on your bottom lip sadistically. Chan focuses on finding your rhythm, starting off at an excruciatingly slow pace. Each flick of his hips drives into you forcefully. The room fills with the sound of skin slapping wetly as your hips meet his. He bottoms out in you, groaning against your neck as he holds you tight in his embrace. 

He tears your face away from Jisung, pulling your lips to his, stealing any air you had left with the way his cock plunges into you. Jisung pulls your face back towards him, taking your lips and tongue for his own again. Chan growls at this, fisting his hand into the younger man’s hair, pulling him off of you and up to his eye level. Jisung’s tongue is pressed against the side of his open mouth, hooded eyes appraising Chan. 

“What, hyung? Isn’t it fun?” Jisung smirks, echoing Chan’s earlier sentiment.

Chan’s jaw clenches for a split second before crashing his lips against the Jisung’s. Their own battle of hot annoyance mixed with pent up lust and power ignite between the two. Tongues lash out, groaning into each other's mouths. You fuck yourself onto Chan’s cock while your hand reaches out to wrap around Jisung’s. He thrusts himself into your fist while his lips are still wrapped around Chan’s, biting down on the elder’s plush bottom lip.

Chan pulls Jisung’s face away again, both panting into each other's mouths. 

“Look at her doing all the work for the three of us,” nodding towards you writhing against him while your hand fists around Jisung’s cock. “Put your mouth to better use, Ji.”

He lightly pushes Jisung’s head away, motioning down towards where Chan is still inside you. Jisung drops to the floor, shuffling closer to your cunt as Chan resumes thrusting into you. 

Jisung drifts his hands up your thighs to your cunt, gently pulling your lips open and watching Chan’s cock disappear inside of you. The way he’s awestruck at the sight of your glistening cunt greedily sucking Chan in has you trembling.

“Jisung,” you whine. “Make me cum.”

He wastes no time diving right into you, mouth first, groaning at the taste of you. You whine pitifully at the feel of his tongue. He laps at your clit, licking up all of your juices that have mixed with Chan’s. His tongue swirls around your cunt and you begin to feel yourself tightening, your muscles clenching around Chan. It’s hard to remember to breathe when white hot pleasure is pulsing through you with every flick of Jisung’s tongue. Chan is groaning in your ear as Ji’s tongue dips down and runs along the underside of Chan, licking a stripe from cock to cunt. 

Chan’s thrusts get sloppier and he slips out of you, the blunt head of his cock nudges harshly against your clit in such a way that has you moaning. Jisung wraps his hand around Chan’s cock and takes the tip into his mouth, flicking his tongue on the sensitive nerve on the underside of his tip, teasing him mercilessly. This time, Chan whines, bucking up toward Jisung before the younger pulls him out of his mouth. He grins up at both of you as he pushes Chan back inside you.

Your eyes roll back as Chan pounds into you, chasing his own high, Jisung’s tongue still lashing against your clit. You’re not sure when you started crying, but tears stream down your face, desperate to come undone, overwhelmed by the way these two men handle your body with deft precision. You feel yourself brought to the edge again, pleading them to push you over.

“Cha-Chan,” you whimper, “c-can I cum?”

His hips start to stutter again at how pathetic you sound, crying out his name like that. Still, in his desperation to fill you up, he finds it in himself to drag it out a little longer.

“You forgot…” he grits out, each word staccato as he slams himself into you. “Say please.”

“PLEASE!” You wail.

“Yes!” is all he can get out before your vision goes white, your body convulsing against his with a pitiful cry. Jisung uses this opportunity to pull your clit into the heat of his mouth, sucking hard against the sensitive bundle of nerves. You feel the orgasm crash through you, gushing on Chan’s cock and Jisung’s tongue, heart beating erratically as they fuck you through it, fingers tangling in Jisung’s hair. Chan loses himself in the way your muscles clench down on him and the way Jisung is drooling on his cock, he groans loudly in your ear as he spills inside of you. You go limp in his grasp.

His hips still as he feels some of his cum drip out of where you’re still connected. His cock is softening, spent from the exertion, your body took everything from him this evening. Jisung tentatively presses his tongue against you, sending a jolt of overstimulation through you. He tastes the mix of you and Chan together as the two of you above him catch your breath.  

Chan gently slides his cock out of you, his seed leaking out of you slowly. Your whole body is buzzing, you feel like you’re drifting through puffy clouds. Jisung whines at the sight of you dripping onto Chan’s softening cock. The elder laughs, spreading your lips wide so Jisung can get a better look.

“Poor Jisung,” Chan teases. “You and your poor little cock still haven’t gotten to feel her yet.”

“Hyung…” Jisung whines, a blush creeping up his cheeks again.

“Well, if you want my seconds,” Chan says, petting the younger’s head lovingly, “You better ask her if she’s up for it.”

You look down at Jisung, big brown eyes searching yours, pleading.

“Y/n…” 

“Yes, come here,” you say, reaching out your hands again. “Wanna make you feel good too.”

Jisung crawls up your body, pressing eager kisses up your torso and chest before settling his hips between your thighs, cock twitching against your swollen clit. You pull his face to yours, sloppily kissing him, too exhausted to do much else. Chan’s hands find your thighs and lift them, pulling them towards your chest and bending you in half. Jisung ruts against your clit, but you’re so sensitive, you whine into his mouth.

“Fuck me, Jisung,” you gasp. “Fill me up.”

He groans, the tip of his cock finding your dripping entrance, and pushing in. He bottoms out all the way, the combination of your arousal and Chan having stretched you open perfectly, has Jisung enveloped in the warmth of your core all the way to his pelvis. The way his cock drags against your walls as he nuzzles his face against your neck has you approaching your peak again. 

“Y/n… I’m n-not gonna last long…” he whines against you.

One of Chan’s hands sneaks down between your bodies, gently rubbing circles around your aching clit. He whispers filthy praise into your ear.

“That’s it, sweet thing,” he murmurs. “Show Jisung how good he makes you feel.”

You cry out, bucking against Jisung as his hips speed up, gripping onto your body as he hammers into you. A new sensation builds from this angle, a pressure building in your cunt.

“FUCK, y/n!” Jisung cries as his hips stutter, slamming into you with force. 

Your second orgasm bursts forth, this time squirting out onto Jisung. The slick, wet sounds combined with your screams fills the room. Your whole body trembles as your muscles spasm around Jisung’s cock. He collapses against you, his hips stilling as he spurts inside of you. Your eyes roll shut and you take a deep shuddering breath, sucking oxygen into your lungs. Your body still tremors, the aftershocks of your orgasm jolting through your muscles every few seconds. You’re floating above your body right now as you’re sandwiched between the two bodies of the men you adore. 

After a few moments, Chan groans, “You two are CRUSHING me.”

All you can do is hum as Jisung melts into a puddle on the floor, body half slung over the edge of the couch. He looks up at the two of you with a dopey, fucked out smile on his heart shaped lips.

Chan slides out carefully from beneath you, rearranging your limbs on the couch so you’re laying down, propped up with a few pillows. He picks up Jisung from the edge of the couch, basically a puddle of a human being, and coaxes him into your arms. The younger man melts into your embrace, pushing his face into your chest with a sigh. Chan presses a light kiss to each of your foreheads.

“I’m going to go grab us some water,” he grins. “You two need to rehydrate.”

He plods away as you and Jisung ground yourselves in the moment, slowing down your heart rates. You rub your fingers sluggishly up and down his back, your fingers finding purchase in his hair. Raking your nails over his scalp, he groans into the soft touch, planting small kisses into your skin. Eventually he raises his head to look at you.

“How was that?” 

“So, so good,” you murmur, your voice gravelly from exertion. “I’m getting a bit chilly though.”

The sheen of sweat against your naked bodies was finally cooling off. Even by the heat from the fire, now embers in the fireplace, you were relaxed enough that a shiver ran through you. Jisung lifts his head, finding his shirt and jacket, and drags them sleepily off the back of the couch to cover you. The clothes land directly on your head and you both giggle. He pulls them gently off your face, an exhausted gummy smile greeting you. He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, your heart fluttering with a newer emotion.

Chan returns, black sweatpants slung low on his hips as he carries a few water bottles and some snacks into the living room. 

“Well, don’t you two look cozy,” he says, a bright smile on his face.

“Hyung, I wasn’t-” Jisung begins, anxiety creeping up his throat,

“Sshhh,” Chan soothes him. “I had fun, you had fun, she had fun. It’s not complicated.”

“Are you sure?”

Chan smooths his hand down Jisungs hair then moves to cup your chin, grazing thumb over your lips. You smile and press a tiny kiss to the pad of his thumb. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Chan smiles with only affection in his eyes. “Now come on, the bed is big enough for the three of us.”

taglist: @skzswife @wjhswife

[rleep80-blog]

I work at a Grocery Store. I have for about 15 years. Recently (within the last year) I was promoted. I went from a sheltered bubble of Store security, to a harsh reality. The reality is that I would rather deal with criminals who I already know have mental health issues, then the general public who hide there flaws for the sake of “presentation”.

Here is why….

I would expect no common decency from someone who has reached a point in their life that they steal or shit on the floor or stab someone in the head, to lack morals and values and common decency. So it was quite the culture shock, to realize that all of the “normal” people, are even bigger assholes. Case and point…

I am helping my produce department fill salads. I have a u-boat out. FULL of boxes. It is directly across from the two refrigerated doors I am filing. I have about three to four feet in-front of me. U-boat to salad wall. That’s what I am doing. Filling product. It doesn’t sound like it’s hard work. But the up and down and back and forth and bending and reaching and cutting my arms on the pushers , after time, it gets physical. Like…. I am sweating.

And it’s a Sunday. What’s wrong with Sunday? Well, EVERYONE for some reasons wants to grocery shop on god damn Sunday.

Anyway, I am there, in this little cubby corner of this huge ass store, and low and behold… here comes the first person. With a big ass cart. Rolls it right infront of my little space and wants me to stop what I am doing, get up, and move. So they can walk through my little space and interrupt me working. AS IF THERE WAS NO WHERE ELSE TO WALK. AS IF THERE WERE NOT 5 OPTIONS OF PATHS TO TAKE.

I smile and they say “excuse me” and shrug their shoulders and apologize. I let the first few instances of that blatant inconsideration roll off my shoulders.

And after any the 30th time, different people, I am to the brink of snapping on someone. Because not only do people do this all day to people working in a grocery store, but I am literally stocking 8 glass doors FULL OF GODAMN SALAD. You need the one salad I am filling. Or YOU need to get on the other side of me so bad and cannot walk around? It’s bad enough I have to sit here and wonder why we need 5,000 different types of fucking salad for your picky spoiled asses.

They will not stop. They will never stop. YOU will never stop. It’s entitlement and laziness and a sheer lack of respect or courtesy.

The general public does this all fucking day. Turning a two hour job into a three hour job. Making my body even more sore so you don’t have to walk a few more feet. The sheer ignorance blows my mind.

So yes, I would rather deal with a crackhead. At least I have no hope with a crackhead. I suppose I could be naive to think people are aware enough of their own surroundings that they take others into consideration? Wow… what a dream world that would be. 🖕🏽

# from my head

[kk-k-kk]

GODLESS

Chapter 1: The Diner Story

Summary: The thriving streets with booming businesses have come to a stand still. Curfews and police raids every few hours to seize any whiff of narcotics terrorised every person, regardless of involvement. The Upper Side lies unfaltering in their picket fences. In this induced borderline dystopia, in your cardboard box apartment you have found a strange joy in watching the actions of a tangerine-stealing thug.

Part Warnings: murder, gore, indulgence of illegal activities, violence

Pairing: suga/yoongi/agust d x fem!reader

May'27

"But I have two degrees!"

You rushed to take the files out of your bags to shove it into his face because clearly he missed it. You pulled at the zipper of your faded grey tote and the zip came right off. 

"Hah! So what? I have two as well and I also have three diplomas. So what?"

Broken zip in hand, you stared blankly as the grocery store clerk shouted at you. He held a shiny duster in front of him as if he would dust you off in case you stepped closer. 

"But-"

"No buts, madam. You didn't get the job. That is it. If you continue creating a ruckus like this, you will be forcibly removed and your chance, if any, of being possibly recruited in the future, will also be crossed."

"Why the fuck would I wait for the future to get a job in a grocery store?"

The man sighed. He was frustrated and you were numb. The heat outside was spilling through the glass windows of the store. You couldn't believe that you were being rejected from working part time at a grocery store. You had two degrees! 

"Look around you," you did, "half of the crowd here is of workers themselves. We are already exceeding employee capacity. Half of these employees are with degrees, diplomas and what nots, moreover they have experience too. Maybe you should try in a few years."

"But, this is just a grocery store," the broken zip in your hand felt very heavy. 

"Yes. And it's 2027," the man pushed the glass door open for you. You couldn't argue your case anymore. 

—

"And they rejected me! Like I care! It's just a useless grocery store," the melting popsicle was posing a problem to your venting so you rushed to finish it in one go.

"Maybe you should open an ice cream store?" the old ice cream seller was indulging in a popsicle too. You eyed him, wondering if his eyes showed mirth behind those sunglasses. 

You lived a funny life. A big room with a three by two bathroom is what you called your home. You slept every night smelling the onions and garlic peels left in the kitchen sink which was a 10 feet distance from your bed, no wall in between. Apparently the builder was very focused on open spaces. You would really like to meet the man someday. The only good thing about it was the tiny balcony, big enough to have no space for a third adult to stand. Watching the night market with something to drink made your terrible days, a little better. 

You worked as a babysitter for a decently rich family but you caught the rich housewife fucking the househelp. You were fired for neglecting the child on the same day. Ever since, unemployed and exhausted you have walked shop to shop in hope for even a part time job. Your two degrees were just laminated tissue papers, you were sure, or something of the same cost. 

"I'll just sleep it off, I guess, again."

"Yes. Do that. Again," the old man tapped the price card and you sighed, taking out the loose change in your pockets. What was so cool about money anyway?

—

You felt like you would faint if you took another step so you leaned against the alley wall, basking in the shadows of the shabby looking diners and bars. Another block down and you would be home. The disgustingly small and dilapidated room was all that you needed after a horrible day. So you mentally made a count, deciding that you would start walking right after. 

1… A deep inhale. 

2… Holding your breath. 

3… A deep exhale that poured out not only carbon dioxide but a bit of your exhaustion and sorrow too. 

4… Another deep inhale. 

5… Holding your breath again. 

6… A deep exhale-

A shriek of terror rang in your ears that got immediately muffled with the sound of something heavy dropping to the ground. You couldn't recall at what point your eyes shot open and you were sprinting to help the man who was slowly beginning to get drenched, lying in a pool of blood. 

The man was fairly large and well built but his eyes faded in and out of focus as he coughed out more blood. Your hands frantically searched for your phone in your bag as you kneeled on the ground next to him. You only realised you were screaming for help when you heard the emergency services on the other side of the call. 

You had just told them the location and hung up when you finally noticed the knife stabbed into his stomach. It didn't go in very deep but the wound was bleeding profusely. The man groaned in pain and reached towards the wound. 

"Wait, don't touch it," you looked around for anything that you could help him with but there was nothing and no one. 

You stumbled back on your feet and ran towards the end of the alley to ask for help. It looked like the man would bleed out before help got there. You sprinted ahead but before you could exit the alley, you heard sirens blare. With a sigh of relief, you turned towards the siren only to be met with a gun to your head. 

"Don't move. Get in the car."

"What? What is going on-"

"You are under arrest on the suspicion of murder or bodily harm. You have the right to remain-"

"Remain exactly the fuck where I am. What are you doing? I called you people. What insanity is this?"

—

"Look. I called you guys. I was the one who called for help. I found him in the alley bleeding."

The inspector scrolled his screen and you weren't sure if he was listening to you at all. 

"Excuse me-"

"Shut up."

You gaped at the man who just asked you to shut up. It wasn't the inspector, no. It was the guy who was handcuffed to the next chair. His eyes were closed as he relaxed on the chair. It didn't really look like he was bothered about being handcuffed and possibly being thrown in jail. But all thoughts aside, all your senses came to one agreement: he was unarguably a sight for sore eyes.

Nonetheless, a pretty face couldn't be excused for being disrespectful to you. So you cleared your throat and turned properly to face him, "Excuse me?"

"Stop whining. They can't hold you here for long without evidence, anyway," his voice was gravelly like he just woke up from a nap. 

"They shouldn't hold me here at all because I didn't do anything," you glared at the inspector as you spoke, taking care to be extra loud during the latter part. 

The man chuckled under his breath and you could feel something turn in your stomach. The laughter felt condescending and it made the flutter in your stomach turn into annoyance. 

"What? What's so funny?"

You watched him raise his cuffed hands as much as he could and stretch with a yawn. It was very disappointing that such a sight turned out to be an asshole. You waited for him to put words to his condescension so you could do something about the growing anger in you. 

But when he finally opened his eyes, he didn't spare you a glance. He tapped on the desk before him and the inspector on the other side sighed and gave him a look. You almost screamed out loud when the man was uncuffed with a nod and a grim, "Don't get caught again."

"Wait what? Excuse me? Hello?"

You tapped on the desk before you too. It has to be a magic key or something to be let go because how was the man just uncuffed without any exchanges? 

The old inspector before you sighed and finally looked at you with a sudden urgency. You took it as your chance and began explaining, "Sir, I was just on the scene and I saw the guy bloodied and-"

"Do you know how to open an Instagram account?"

—

You have lived in the LBs since forever. When your parents were alive it was the upper LBs. After their passing, working all these part time jobs, your residence changed to worse. But never have you ever been handcuffed with a criminal charge. You had no idea how people got out of situations like this but from the movies and the dramas, it had to be networking. But you had no networks. You knew no one. Even then, you had just walked out of a police station as a free woman after you opened a fake Instagram account for the investigator. 

"Are you sure?" You had asked. 

"Go on," the investigator nodded, going back to scrolling reels on his phone in an obnoxiously loud volume. 

You had thought for a minute that maybe this would come back to bite you in the ass later but then you remembered how that man had walked free just like that. 

So there you were, exiting the damp air of the police station, with an ominous feeling lingering in your guts. 

"Gave him a blowjob?"

It was the same guy who had walked out a while before you. His wavy hair fell on his face as he leaned against the wall. They looked so soft and luminous and for a moment, you even thought he almost looked familiar. But your thoughts abruptly halted when you finally processed what he just said to you. 

"Why? Is that what you do to get out?"

He laughed. He laughed so hard that his whole body shook with each fit of it. You had no idea why it made you feel proud of your comeback. Your smugness urged a smirk on your lips too. 

"You win this time," his laughter slowly came reduced to a smile that felt awfully gentle. It made you feel weird so you begged your head to focus on something else. 

"I always do," you almost never but he doesn't need to know that. 

He nodded, finally standing up to his full height to face you. He was taller, you noticed, only slightly though. You didn't like the way he looked at you. It wasn't condescension. It wasn't violating. It just felt like he was looking at you, really looking. It had been ages since you felt seen and not an unnoticed spec of dust in the grand scheme of things. 

So when he extended a hand filled with bruises and busted knuckles, you took it. That's how you came to know him although that exhausting afternoon, you had no idea what was to come. 

—

August '27

Although you walked out of the police station together, cursed the government together and parted ways abruptly when you couldn't find your phone, you regretted not getting his name. You had sprinted back to the police station and he said you'd probably see him around. Since that day, you neither found your phone nor him in the streets. 

In the days after, your life remained exactly the same. Till evenings you'd toil the market in front of your building. On some days, you worked in the diner beside your building and on others, as assistants to the vendors in front of it. It was enough to barely get by. It was enough. 

"Sang-ho has brought in so many men today. Are you sure you want to be here today?"

You shrugged at Hee-jin. She permanently worked at the diner and didn't find your existence disgusting. You weren't friends, you supposed, both of you tolerated each other. 

"Rumor has it that he has brought in billions. He probably got a new deal. But with all the men he has called, there might be problems. I hope we don't get raided," Hee-jin placed the last dish in the sink just as you finished tying your apron. 

But your interest was caught. Sang-ho was a regular at the diner but Hee-jin insisted that he was only regular on the day that you were working. He didn't bother you nor did he ever speak to you. You couldn't say the same about his men. You almost stopped coming to the diner after one of them had been extra touchy-feely while asking for chopsticks. But the pay was good and beggars couldn''t be choosers. 

"Even if they get raided, what is it to us? With all that money, I doubt they pay rent every month," sharing a laugh with Hee-jin, you stretched your shoulders. You had a feeling that it was going to be a long day. 

The day turned out to be slower than usual. Sang-ho's men occasionally went up and down the stairs but they didn't stop to eat. It was exceptionally hot for a day in August. Once in a while you'd spot Hee-jin standing in front of the fan and scurry when your eyes awkwardly met. You wouldn't tell on her. She wouldn't trust you and well, neither would you. 

Once there were enough dishes that you could see the pile from the counters, you'd start washing again, you decided. It wouldn't hurt to sit near the cool air once in a while. The kitchen was so humid that you could feel sweat trickling inside your bra and as much as you wanted to scratch the itch, you stayed still. 

There was a couple sitting exactly in your line of vision. They were talking softly, giggling periodically. It was annoying how long the guy was stirring the soup with his chopsticks. The red of the chopsticks went round and round. You realised you were zoned out staring at someone's food but you didn't have it in yourself to care about it. 

The sound of murmuring and hustle bustle from the market was growing louder, you observed at one point, until all of a sudden it went quiet. That's when your eyes returned to focus, falling on the familiar figure that was now entering the diner like he owned the place. His eyes met yours once, not even wandering, like he knew exactly where you would be. Before you could react, he was taking the red chopsticks you were staring so keenly at and running up the stairs. 

Havoc was being wrecked upstairs while people downstairs pretended that it was alright. You would too, generally. Turf wars have grown to be a frequent sight and even if Sang-ho was being raided upstairs, you never cared. But it was different the moment he entered. It was different that out of all those shouts and groans upstairs, one voice could be his. 

You despised people in horror movies who would venture into the darkness just to feed their curiosity but there you were, ignoring Hee-jin's wide eyed glare and the silence of the stilled cutleries as you walked up the stairs. 

There were men still fighting when you reached the top stair. The first body lying still in the corridor was that of a man; chopsticks sticking out of his eyes and you almost threw up right there. But the man was familiar and so were the chopsticks, both of the two that had once made you want to quit. You didn't like the blooming feeling of victory you could feel in yourself. So you gulped it down. 

As you looked forward, you could see that familiar figure sift through the bulky men trying to plough each other. Narrowly avoiding being thrown or punched, you stayed by the wall flinching when a broken glass somehow scraped past your arm. You almost missed the mop of black hair disappear into a room and sprinted to follow it except just when you were about to touch the door, a hand pulled you back by the shoulders, twisting you around and pushing you up against the wall. 

Staring you down was the man himself, breathing heavily with blood splattered on his face. He had a smile adorning his lips as he stepped closer crowding your bubble until all your eyes could see were his dark ones. You didn't even know that you wanted to see them up close this bad. His breath was mingling with yours, mixing with the stench of blood. You could smell the nicotine and something more musky you couldn't quite put a finger on. 

A cold hand gripped the base of your throat and you could feel your heart dropping at the way he lowered his face to your level. You held your breath as he stayed like that, teasingly running his eyes up and down your features before returning to your face, "You, again?"

His hand didn't move from your throat, his digits began pressing deeper to the point where your gulping made him follow the column of your throat again with his dark eyes as his smile widened. What could you say? Would he understand if you told him that your feet just brought you here, to him and now your hands wanted to reach up and your fingers wanted to entangle in his curls and- No. You probably couldn't tell him that. So you did what you did best. You lied. 

You spoke with a steady voice, "Someone called the cops, you should get what you need and escape."

"What makes you think I need something? Maybe I just came here to get in trouble, what do you know?"

His voice was deeper than you remembered consciously and the gravelly vibrations traveled to your core with the way he was pressed against you. You were already breathless with his presence when there was a crash beside your head. It was a man with a knife sticking out of his side. Your vision became blurry for a moment and by the time it returned to normal your view of the bloody man was blocked by the grinning man in front of you. Of course, to block the view like the gentleman that he was, he would have to step even closer. 

"You could have just fought with your men there then. I saw you move ahead of them like you had intention-"

Your words stuttered to a stop when he was off you in a second, taking out a small knife from heaven knows where and stabbing a man twice his size some ten times in five seconds. The man fell to the floor and he smiled back at you again, "you were saying?"

Eyes stuck on the man bleeding out on the floor, you pushed your back against the wall to not let your feet give away, "I saw you run forward as if you-"

"Uh huh?"

"As if you-"

He was laughing. You couldn't help but feel a tinge of fear; only a tinge when you should have screamed bloody murder and sprinted miles away. But at the same time you could feel the coils in your stomach tighten and something in you not wanting to leave. 

"As if what?"

"As if you need something from here. Get it done and go."

He smiled, sending you a mock salute before pushing open a heavy looking door while you stood against the wall, breathless and panting. You could hear the blood rushing to your head over the sounds of the fighting. Never in your entire life had you felt such a rollercoaster of emotions. There was something strange about him and you knew it, it was as obvious as global warming that you shouldn't play Dora the Explorer with this guy of all people. But you watched as he emerged out of the room, a big leather bag in hand. 

The corridor had become more chaotic than before. You assumed that both sides had called in more people. As you stared at the people fighting to death, you tried to process what exactly was happening. But you failed. So when a sticky hand grabbed yours and prompted you to move forward, you let it. His wavy hair bounced as he ducked random blows, spinning you around, moving you back and forth while moving forward and out of the narrow, bloodied corridor. Just before the last step before the stairs, he dropped your hand. 

You hadn't realised that you were staring at your joined hands until he let go. When your eyes traveled up to his face, it had more blood than before and his light coloured shirt was barely half of the shade it used to be. He was still smiling at you, you realised. 

"I never found you on the streets."

Your lips were moving so you knew it was you talking. But what was that weak, breathless voice? 

"Did you want to?"

He asked it so nonchalantly as if he was around and you just hadn't spotted him. 

"Yes. I mean-", you barely recognised your voice and your train of thoughts. You wondered where all your years of being tough and tactical went. 

"Then you will."

And he was gone. 

—

Sirens. Multiple cars. 12 deaths. A huge number of injured people. 

The closed diner was dark, lit up by the red and blue and echoing the haunting sirens. The police officers had stopped to ask a few questions and Hee-jin answered them all. You watched her lie through her teeth that you, who stood like a pinned doll, were too shaken up with the incident so you couldn't speak to them at all. They said they understood and gave you a look of pity. You felt nauseous. 

When you had walked downstairs and splashed water in your face a good fifteen times, the police were already there. You sent a prayer hoping he was gone far away by then and then to erase the guilt of sending such a prayer, you splashed water in your face again. Hee-jin didn't ask anything. Nobody asked or even glanced at you. It was as if you hadn't just associated yourself with someone who raided one of the biggest turfs of the LBs. Were they ignorant? Were they afraid? 

The owner of the diner appeared once in front of you two to mention in a rather bored tone that the diner would be closed the following day and left. Hee-jin looked at you strangely and left. You were thankful that she even looked at you and you left. 

When you were home and you could hear the familiar tune of old school kpop playing in the apartment right below yours, you bawled like a baby. You didn't know why. You just cried and cried until the turning of your guts stopped and you were sane enough to question yourself. There were feelings in you that had not been stirred for years and there was a tingling in the back of your heart, a craving almost. But it was a different kind of craving, the ones that made you want to have a pair of strong arms wrapped around you. You wondered where all of this was coming from. But you knew the answer. You just didn't want it to be the answer.

The steaming mug of coffee was grounding you to reality as you looked over at the night market. The night market saw two types of customers, one that bought the usual edibles up front and the other, that bought tightly sealed packets from the shadows. It was almost funny sometimes. The old lady of stall 5 got mad at anyone who tried to bargain. She was just constantly in a bad mood and while you understood and related to her, it was not nice to always hear people being shouted upon. When watching the night market became your muse, it took you all of a week to believe that the same old lady probably sold the most narcotics. Her customers in the shadows even queued to get it. 

The coffee had cooled down comparatively when you took your first sip. There was a small commotion in the market but you couldn't see it. The old lady was closed, you realised. That was very strange. It was a clear night and it almost made you forget the kind of day you had. A good night's sleep would prepare you for a tough next day and with the kind of heatwave that was shaking the city, you would need all the preparation. 

Your eyes were out of focus and you zoned in and out. The image of an intriguing pair of chocolate brown eyes flashed in the back of your mind. It was so vivid. You could see the smirk that formed on his lips and it subconsciously made you grip the cup tighter. His eyes stared at you unblinking until the smirk got bigger and he sent a wink your way. 

That's when you broke out of your trance. Groaning in disbelief, you rubbed your eyes and sighed. But when you opened them, they met the chocolate brown pools again. 

"What the-"

There he was. Not in your vision but walking in all glory out of the night market, smiling at you. In a polythene by his side, something orange swung with each step. Tangerines? 

As he took a turn and disappeared out of sight, you placed a hand on your heart, which felt like it would pop out of your throat. What had just happened? He was gone as fast as he came. You almost confirmed in your mind that he was not real. You were hallucinating and you'd have to break your savings to go see a doctor. 

As if he was hearing your thoughts, the alley where he disappeared, he walked back out of it. This time he walked straight to your building. Stumbling to reach the railings, you peered down at him. 

"What are you doing here?"

You wondered if he heard you over the noise of the market. But he was looking straight up at you. 

"Tomorrow. Lake Plaza at 5."

And again with a mock salute, he walked off. You fumbled, stuttered and almost bit your tongue in the urgency to reply but by the time you were about to utter, "What?" He was gone. 

—

He got a deal. A deal so good he liked to call it a steal deal. Four tangerines for no money. Normally he would celebrate his steal deal with some more steal deals but he was somewhat in a hurry. 

The men behind him had knives, he was sure. But he had left his own set of beautiful knives at his home. Now he had a backup tucked in his shoe but he was slightly concerned. Five grown men might pose a little trouble for a pocket knife. 

He whistled as he walked, a small smile playing on his busted lips. The way you fumbled every time you saw him but how you were ready with comebacks every time he got too comfortable, it made him curious. It made him wonder what kind of life you had lived, what kind of life you lived. There was a hollow pit in his stomach that was making him question whether you would show up where he asked you. After all, it would be a miracle if you did but for some reason, he thought you were a miracle. Something in him could tell that you were. So he wanted to push his luck. 

The men tailing him had stopped being subtle. Their footsteps were closer and peripherally he could see something shiny in the occasional lights from nearby buildings and the rarely unbroken lamp posts. 

'No,' he thought. If you were to show up, he would need his face to be unscathed. 

"Alright guys," the men abruptly stopped when he turned around to face them, their mouth open in surprise. 

He took his time cracking his neck and stretching his arms before finally nodding at them, "Let's get this over with."

[lxtstrip]

Homesick | C. Sturniolo

TW: weed/drugs mention

AN: first sturniolo fic — also don’t do drugs, smoke a joint (pack a bowl, rip a bong, eat an edible idc!) where/when legal and enjoy.

WC: 935

Pairing: Chris x Reader

“Stay in Boston.” Chris read with confusion from a crumpled note he found in his newly thrifted hoodie pocket. He didn’t think much of it, just some trash left by an artist in Los Angeles. Whether it was a photographer, videographer, songwriter, or maybe a failed sketch was anyone’s guess.

What he wasn’t aware of was the treacherous journey that hoodie had taken to get to him and its ties to the city he called home. The hoodie had gone through a family vacation, a boy’s high school career, moving into a college dorm, a relationship, many italian ice date nights, and a breakup. The hoodie signified an era of someone’s life; the same tagline as everything else you lay your eyes on at a thrift store.

He thought about everything he had ever known as the items were piling up in his newly found second hand collection. Donating his skates when he was 13, his mother cleaning out the garage of all their holiday things, and even down to his brothers piling clothes on the bed to list for sale online. He didn’t own much, just enough to keep him out of trouble, so the thought of someone having enough to give away was enough to make his head spin.

He kept the paper regardless of whether it was trash or not. Chris adored Boston and only associated positive memories with it. Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium and TD Garden were his go to places to hang with his friends, brothers, or even alone. He remembers frantically Googling ‘free things to do in Boston’ before dates and eventually dipping into his wallet after he couldn’t find anything good with pride. He was someone who would do anything to make anyone happy, whatever the cost, but he couldn’t apply that theory to himself.

When all was done and dusted for the day he decided to shut himself in his room and unwind. He ran his fingers down the spines of the books you gave him, reading the titles to himself, hearing your voice with each syllable. Empty promises of going to visit him came flooding back into his memory as soon as he saw your favorite book; tattered edges, taped spine, and a receipt paper bookmark. He shook himself out of it and went to his desk to pack a bowl.

With a swift flick of the lighter Chris pressed the glass to his lips and inhaled for a moment feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders. He sat in his computer chair and looked around his room for signs of you - something, anything. He repeated the motion a few times and grabbed the torn piece of paper from his thrifting excursion.

“Stay in Boston.” Chris repeated to himself countless times before grabbing his phone. He knew your number by heart and as soon as he hit the call button an all-too-familiar ache came over him. He took another hit and exhaled when he heard your voicemail message play. He never thought he’d be here; alone, in his room, pining after a love lost.”

“Hey, it’s Chris…” he started. “I wish you were here. I’ve said it every day to myself while I’ve been out here. I know neither of us wanted this… I don’t think either of us knew what we wanted. I’ve been getting by on memories of stumbling to diners and stealing the mugs or skipping classes to go hang out at the park…” he took another hit and sighed. “What I’m trying to say is my heart will always have a space for you, my brain has always had one.”

You looked at your phone to see another voicemail from Chris. You shrugged it off thinking it was most likely another message he recorded at a party where he would preface it with whatever drug he was taking at the time; the west coast ruined him. As much as you hated to admit it you kept up with their videos and you locked in on Chris looking more gaunt every time.

You hadn’t answered a call from Chris in months and you never reached back out. You listened to his newest voice message as you recanted the first call since the split. He had just done a few lines of cocaine and he described it as feeling a sense of finally being able to focus to a greater extent. It shook you to your core that a once happy-go-lucky boy turned into… this. You couldn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.

Chris often called to describe his high to you; cocaine, ayahuasca, benzos, acid, angel dust, salvia - the list went on. You were still his safe space and since he drew the conclusion you weren’t even listening to them he let his troubles go in the safe space of voicemails and dial tones.

Chris clutched the “Stay in Boston” note and thought about what it meant to the previous owner of the hoodie. Chris also thought about why this would fall into his lap and when it did. He slowly fell back into his nightly routine while he continued to contemplate that random piece of paper.

After a night of continuing keeping up his high, losing games, and melting his brain over three words Chris decided to head to bed. The second he was in bed it’s as if on cue he saw your name flash across his screen. It knocked his next breath out of him as he answered with a simple “Hello?”

“Chris…” you said followed by a shaky exhalation. “Please stay in Boston.”

[dulcetpill]

монстр (2021) как цитаты из смешариков [1/3]

[lucalicatteart]

-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --

A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.

[batfossil-fr]

I am taking The Step and being a very brave boy and I am going to start setting up my non fr art account. for REAL this time. no “I say I will do this and oops I don’t” it’s For Real and if it’s not up soon you have permission to kick me. I wrote some introduction post the other day that turned into a million page long essay so i’ve gotta like... actually draw shit, instead of just wall of text worldbuilding infodump lmao. I thought, hey let’s give a little primer into my world. and then I immediately went into a rant about geological history i didn’t even GET to the main species until like 2/3 of the way down lmfao

but I have spent too long letting that account haunt the back of my brain. its posting time!!! (I am utterly terrified to post things you have no idea.) but that’s how it goes. soon. maybe this week once i get some exams out of the way. it WILL happen

[violasmirabiles]

the parents are going up north for a couple of days thank FUCKING god its not enough but i havent been able to be insane in peace since FUCKING october and its . not to sound dramatic but Not Good For My Mental Health which i obviously cant let them know partly cos its not All their fault but also because im (irrationally!!!!!! irrationally) afraid theyll kick me out the second i say anything even remotely negative even jokingly. anyway my grand plan while theyre gone is to lie on couch and stare at ceiling (but, importantly, in the living room and not in my bedroom) and . well translating all the dollars trilogy event fics into finnish probably. insert that celibacy gif but edited so it says unemployed.

[ambreiiigns]

yesterday i watched intruder 1989 btw funniest shit i ever seen

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Didn't get the job I interviewed for last week

What a shocker

[rohirric-hunter]

The devs really need to go back and rebalance the legendary item rewards for old epic quests. Like, what am I supposed to do with 56 uncommon enhancement runes, which I've got in just the last hour and a half? All the same level. Just the main quest, no sidequests. The full region will reward far more than I will ever need for a given alt's two LIs at that level, and they can't be recycled into ancient script, so essentially they're useless rewards.

[fabulouslygaybean]

im literally so understimulated im gonna bite someone

[ms-demeanor]

So You Need To Buy A Computer But You Don't Know What Specs Are Good These Days

Hi.

This is literally my job.

Lots of people are buying computers for school right now or are replacing computers as their five-year-old college laptop craps out so here's the standard specs you should be looking for in a (windows) computer purchase in August 2023.

PROCESSOR

Intel i5 (no older than 10th Gen)

Ryzen 7

You can get away with a Ryzen 5 but an intel i3 should be an absolute last resort. You want at least an intel i5 or a Ryzen 7 processor. The current generation of intel processors is 13, but anything 10 or newer is perfectly fine. DO NOT get a higher performance line with an older generation; a 13th gen i5 is better than an 8th gen i7. (Unfortunately I don't know enough about ryzens to tell you which generation is the earliest you should get, but staying within 3 generations is a good rule of thumb)

RAM

8GB absolute minimum

If you don't have at least 8GB RAM on a modern computer it's going to be very, very slow. Ideally you want a computer with at least 16GB, and it's a good idea to get a computer that will let you add or swap RAM down the line (nearly all desktops will let you do this, for laptops you need to check the specs for Memory and see how many slots there are and how many slots are available; laptops with soldered RAM cannot have the memory upgraded - this is common in very slim laptops)

STORAGE

256GB SSD

Computers mostly come with SSDs these days; SSDs are faster than HDDs but typically have lower storage for the same price. That being said: SSDs are coming down in price and if you're installing your own drive you can easily upgrade the size for a low cost. Unfortunately that doesn't do anything for you for the initial purchase.

A lot of cheaper laptops will have a 128GB SSD and, because a lot of stuff is stored in the cloud these days, that can be functional. I still recommend getting a bit more storage than that because it's nice if you can store your music and documents and photos on your device instead of on the cloud. You want to be able to access your files even if you don't have internet access.

But don't get a computer with a big HDD instead of getting a computer with a small SSD. The difference in speed is noticeable.

SCREEN (laptop specific)

Personally I find that touchscreens have a negative impact on battery life and are easier to fuck up than standard screens. They are also harder to replace if they get broken. I do not recommend getting a touch screen unless you absolutely have to.

A lot of college students especially tend to look for the biggest laptop screen possible; don't do that. It's a pain in the ass to carry a 17" laptop around campus and with the way that everything is so thin these days it's easier to damage a 17" screen than a 14" screen.

On the other end of that: laptops with 13" screens tend to be very slim devices that are glued shut and impossible to work on or upgrade.

Your best bet (for both functionality and price) is either a 14" or a 15.6" screen. If you absolutely positively need to have a 10-key keyboard on your laptop, get the 15.6". If you need something portable more than you need 10-key, get a 14"

FORM FACTOR (desktop specific)

If you purchase an all-in-one desktop computer I will begin manifesting in your house physically. All-in-ones take away every advantage desktops have in terms of upgradeability and maintenance; they are expensive and difficult to repair and usually not worth the cost of disassembling to upgrade.

There are about four standard sizes of desktop PC: All-in-One (the size of a monitor with no other footprint), Tower (Big! probably at least two feet long in two directions), Small Form Factor Tower (Very moderate - about the size of a large shoebox), and Mini/Micro/Tiny (Small! about the size of a small hardcover book).

If you are concerned about space you are much better off getting a MicroPC and a bracket to put it on your monitor than you are getting an all-in-one. This will be about a million percent easier to work on than an all-in-one and this way if your monitor dies your computer is still functional.

Small form factor towers and towers are the easiest to work on and upgrade; if you need a burly graphics card you need to get a full size tower, but for everything else a small form factor tower will be fine. Most of our business sales are SFF towers and MicroPCs, the only time we get something larger is if we have to put a $700 graphics card in it. SFF towers will accept small graphics cards and can handle upgrades to the power supply; MicroPCs can only have the RAM and SSD upgraded and don't have room for any other components or their own internal power supply.

WARRANTY

Most desktops come with either a 1 or 3 year warranty; either of these is fine and if you want to upgrade a 1 year to a 3 year that is also fine. I've generally found that if something is going to do a warranty failure on desktop it's going to do it the first year, so you don't get a hell of a lot of added mileage out of an extended warranty but it doesn't hurt and sometimes pays off to do a 3-year.

Laptops are a different story. Laptops mostly come with a 1-year warranty and what I recommend everyone does for every laptop that will allow it is to upgrade that to the longest warranty you can get with added drop/damage protection. The most common question our customers have about laptops is if we can replace a screen and the answer is usually "yes, but it's going to be expensive." If you're purchasing a low-end laptop, the parts and labor for replacing a screen can easily cost more than half the price of a new laptop. HOWEVER, the way that most screens get broken is by getting dropped. So if you have a warranty with drop protection, you just send that sucker back to the factory and they fix it for you.

So, if it is at all possible, check if the manufacturer of a laptop you're looking at has a warranty option with drop protection. Then, within 30 days (though ideally on the first day you get it) of owning your laptop, go to the manufacturer site, register your serial number, and upgrade the warranty. If you can't afford a 3-year upgrade at once set a reminder for yourself to annually renew. But get that drop protection, especially if you are a college student or if you've got kids.

And never, ever put pens or pencils on your laptop keyboard. I've seen people ruin thousand dollar, brand-new laptops that they can't afford to fix because they closed the screen on a ten cent pencil. Keep liquids away from them too.

LIFESPAN

There's a reasonable chance that any computer you buy today will still be able to turn on and run a program or two in ten years. That does not mean that it is "functional."

At my office we estimate that the functional lifespan of desktops is 5-7 years and the functional lifespan of laptops is 3-5 years. Laptops get more wear and tear than desktops and desktops are easier to upgrade to keep them running. At 5 years for desktops and 3 years for laptops you should look at upgrading the RAM in the device and possibly consider replacing the SSD with a new (possibly larger) model, because SSDs and HDDs don't last forever.

COST

This means that you should think of your computers as an annual investment rather than as a one-time purchase. It is more worthwhile to pay $700 for a laptop that will work well for five years than it is to pay $300 for a laptop that will be outdated and slow in one year (which is what will happen if you get an 8th gen i3 with 8GB RAM). If you are going to get a $300 laptop try to get specs as close as possible to the minimums I've laid out here.

If you have to compromise on these specs, the one that is least fixable is the processor. If you get a laptop with an i3 processor you aren't going to be able to upgrade it even if you can add more RAM or a bigger SSD. If you have to get lower specs in order to afford the device put your money into the processor and make sure that the computer has available slots for upgrade and that neither the RAM nor the SSD is soldered to the motherboard. (one easy way to check this is to search "[computer model] RAM upgrade" on youtube and see if anyone has made a video showing what the inside of the laptop looks like and how much effort it takes to replace parts)

Computers are expensive right now. This is frustrating, because historically consumer computer prices have been on a downward trend but since 2020 that trend has been all over the place. Desktop computers are quite expensive at the moment (August 2023) and decent laptops are extremely variably priced.

If you are looking for a decent, upgradeable laptop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

14" Lenovo - $670 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 512GB SSD

15.6" HP - $540 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

14" Dell - $710 - 12th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

If you are looking for a decent, affordable desktop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

SFF HP - $620 - 10th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, 1TB SSD

SFF Lenovo - $560 - Ryzen 7 5000 series, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

Dell Tower - $800 - 10th-gen i7, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

If I were going to buy any of these I'd probably get the HP laptop or the Dell Tower. The HP Laptop is actually a really good price for what it is.

Anyway happy computering.

[lucalicatteart]

A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~

[thatdemiboymess]

Turning up the music to max volume and laying facedown on the bed because the mental health has hit rock bottom like DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT--

Thoughts of self harm and maybe suicidal ideation in the vent in the tags. Sorry.