#and even though they only lived here for a few months too that sticker is still there

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

[guy who gets overly attached to everything voice] idk why i get overly attached to everything haha

[vncannyvalleygrrl]

Pim and charlie (seperate headcanons) x janitor gn reader who works at smiling friends is shy until you get to know them pretty pls? I love ur workk

yes ofc!! tysm i cant believe how much attention my stuff is getting recently, im glad people are liking it! hope you like this one too :3

Pim/Charlie x Janitor Reader

includes: general and dating hcs

Pim

He was really excited that he has a new co worker! He even made a little goody-bag full of snacks and cute cat stickers to give you on your first day. Pim really wants you to feel welcome at Smiling Friends.

He knows it's not his job to do this, but on slower days he tends to help you clean around the office, especially after rough misadventures (or bliblie infestations)

He doesn't mind you being shy around him, he's a patient little critter. Willing to listen to your problems with an open heart; only gives advice when you ask.

Do you like coffee? He'll make you some! Prefer energy drinks? He'll get you some from the store! After awhile, maybe a few months or so, he'll ask if you can get lunch with him sometime. Perchance hang out after work? At a cafe maybe?

Whoops he's in love with you.

If you two end up together, he obviously helps you with your job when needed. If you have any sort of pain that day, God forbid being sick, don't even think about getting out of bed that day. He's making you some chicken noodle soup (or some vegetable and pasta soup if you're vegan), he's turning on the TV, and he's making you some tea.

He gets super flustered every time he's reminded that you aren't shy near him, only with others. He sometimes forgets you trust him, and his heart skips several beats when he remembers. Maybe a little nauseous but it's a good nauseous.

He will gladly take you on missions with him if you ask! Doesn't realize until it's too late that most of his missions are either super deadly or super boring. Probably won't take you on adventures after that for your own safety.

Charlie

Charlie didn't even know that you were hired as a janitor until he saw you (about a week after you were hired) mopping up some spilled water around the office. He asked if you were a client, but he was quickly shot with confusion as you told him that you worked there.

You two shared some laughs, introduced yourself, and went on with your day.

After that, you wouldn't talk much with him, mostly small conversations about the weather or recent news. He was your coworker, yes, but felt more like background noise. Charlie thought that you were a little reclusive, but he didn't mind the quiet between you two.

He always makes sure to clean up after himself though, just out of courtesy. He's worked one of these kinds of jobs before, he knows they suck.

One night you stayed long after to help clean up the aftermath of a very hectic mission, the office being partially destroyed by a pissed off client. You clocked out and stepped out of what remained of the building, finding Charlie sat down on the sidewalk, lighting a cigarette.

You two talked for a little bit, maybe smoked with him if you're a smoker. Charlie talked about how a lot of the time, he regrets working here because of how much of a nightmare people can be. You couldn't blame him for that. He brought up how he especially feels bad for you, because you have to clean up his messes. Now that surprised you.

When midnight struck, he offered to drive you back to your house/apartment, and you accepted. After that, you both grew close to one another. Too close to be considered a friendship anymore.

Officially dating and closer than ever, he would hang out with you after work, mostly at either his or your place. Talk about drama in each others lives or online, eat junk food, play video games, watch movies, all until the break of dawn. Maybe a few beers get involved during the weekends.

Overall, he's just glad you have someone to confide in now, someone you can trust and be yourself around, not hide behind any walls. Every time he sees you he just wants to run up and hug you, and he does (unless you're in public, he just holds your hand).

[astronomodome]

What’s Up With Those Title Cards, Anyway: An Analysis

Now that Mumbo’s second episode is out I find myself thinking about these title cards again. And as much as I realize that they’re meant to be a fun nod to previous Hermitcraft seasons and Mumbo’s place in them, the items included and the context of their presence raise a whole lot of questions for me.

First of all, these aren’t blocks, they’re real items. Many of them don’t even have equivalents in the world of Minecraft (or even in Hermitcraft). Think about that. Are the blocky forms that we see on screen mere representations of a larger, more high-resolution world? A world with stickers and stamps and keys? A world where a ticket to Hermitcraft is a physical object you can hold in your hand? This certainly seems to imply so.

What is the context for these items? Where are they? Where are we? The stylistic choice was made to have them sort of resting on a solid-colored background. The selection of items makes me feel as though this is a representation of a desk of some kind, items important enough to Mumbo for him to keep around, lots of paperwork and stuff that you might find in a private office drawer. Which just raises even more questions. How does Mumbo keep these items from season to season? Where are they right now? Do they actually exist at all? (Not to mention smaller timeline questions. When did Mumbo receive the Grumbot message? When was it sent? Does the Grumbot left in Season 7 have a different consciousness than the one in Season 9, which last saw its dads only a month or two ago?)

If you follow the Rendog school of Hermitcraft lore, I guess you could say they’re kept on the Hermetheus along with all the other season-to-season holdovers and souvenirs. But that is one interpretation of many, canon to Rendog but never really canonized on a server-wide scale. Plus… if we take that interpretation in its entirety, how do the items from season 8 even exist, given that their entire world was canonically a simulation?

I also notice the relationship between the real world and the Minecraft world, the distinction between Mumbo the youtuber and Mumbo the block man. The ‘Official Rich List’ certificate mentions a ‘screenshot of a Minecraft chest’, implying that whoever wrote this certificate knows what Minecraft is from an outside perspective and finds Minecraft diamonds to be meaningless as a measure of wealth. And yet the certificate is addressed to one Mumbo K. Jumbo. The middle initial, having its origin in a highly in-character storyline during season 8, makes me feel like it could be more of a character Mumbo thing, but there’s no hard evidence.

How does Mumbo even have a picture of real-life Grian? Is this redstone incident report out-of-universe too? Who is he reporting this damage to, anyway?

And yet these are placed alongside items that are definitely from inside the world of Hermitcraft, if only the more fleshed-out version of it. A key to a mechanical car-horse would be functionless unless it was actually used, in-universe, by Mumbo the character. The ODEA manual was an idea considered but rejected by Mumbo during Season 7 in favor of tutorial videos, but perhaps this would make sense as an alternative for a world where the characters live in their Minecraft world as reality and have no capability to access the ODEA website.

Perhaps, in Mumbo’s view, there is little distinction between what we in the fandom call c!Mumbo and cc!Mumbo. We see both in-universe and out-of-universe items side-by-side, contradictory, because they are interchangeable here.

I doubt we’ll ever get any answers to these questions because obviously Mumbo made these title cards as fun little references instead of serious or purposeful lore, but I still think it’s fun to think about. Neat little worldbuilding details like this are few and far between in most mcyt content so I was foaming at the mouth when I first saw these. Well done Mumbo!

[voidchillz]

I’m Your Neighbour

Hm? That’s Not My Neighbour Doppel Sanses X You Au? 🤔

Couldn’t be.

Your booth always smelled damp. Damp, mouldy, and dusty.

Asking the D.D.D. multiple times to clean it properly proved less than useful. The floors and walls were peeling and it wasn’t insulated properly for the colder months. But every day you requested a deep clean, all you got in return was the same salty response that you were only allowed to call the Determination Doppelgänger Defence for emergency cleanup. You knew for a fact that the people there weren’t allowed to ignore your calls, and it was very tempting to just keep bugging them until they fixed your cramped little room, but risking getting fired was not on the table. You were setting aside a portion of your paycheque every month in hopes to do the damn upkeep yourself, but so far, the most you could do was occasionally dust and pass a few surface wipes over the more disgusting areas to keep you sane. You even managed to scrape up the cash to get an inexpensive dehumidifier and some scent defusers… and some colourful stickers to put on the glass. It was miserable enough outside for everyone to come home from gruelling work in a crumbling grey city filled with untrustworthy strangers, only to then have an incredibly tense checkup that put their lives at risk as soon as they got back home. So you had a naive hope that the little heart and cat stickers and slightly less stagnant smells would encourage your neighbours to relax a little more…

It hadn’t really worked.

Except… you did have one person representing the proof that the world wasn’t completely lost out there and in here.

And speak of the devil.

That warm recognisable grin already had your dehydrated discouraged slump rise into a much more relieved state, tucking your hair back and ignoring the faint distain at its distinct greasiness. You really needed a shower. But hey, there was still a glass window between you and your favourite neighbour, and that artificial sweet rose scent was still on the air, so you had little to worry about when it came to smelling nice for him.

Despite his very apparent lack of eloquence, Sans worked as a freelance inventor, and damn was he good. But the poor guy was out almost every day, and though you were a little ashamed to admit the selfishness of it, whenever he came home late, it was the absolute highlight of your day. He was always the last one into the building, and on occasion you did wonder if the sweet little bastard went to the back of the line on purpose just to milk his time with you, but nevertheless, he always made sure you left your post to attend to the city’s curfew with a smile. There were even points that he refused to let you leave until he’d made you snort with laughter.

“that ID all up to scratch, kid?”

“you sure i’m on the list?”

“was that the D.D.D. logo…? maybe…”

He was the only neighbour that ever lingered, the only one that brought more attention to his forms rather than hoping you just let him through without a second glance at the checklist. Hells, at one point he’d even purposefully used an expired ID just to catch you off guard. The ass had given you the real one after, but he got a good earful from you, even when your heart was still thundering with terrified adrenaline, he grinned at you like some petty house cat. He never fidgeted, never twitched, just gave you that big smile and reminded you how good it felt to have a relaxed conversation with someone. Albeit a someone with a taste for pranks. Fake forms with wet ink, approaching the window with those dumb fake eyebrow and nose glasses on, he was so lucky there was something preventing you from smacking him upside the head when he got too silly. Still… he was the only one in the building that remembered your name.

With him sidling up to the glass, you were itching for stress relief. Today had been… long. Thankfully he skipped the pranks and just handed his ID and Entry Request in through the grate. He looked about as tired as you felt.

“evening, y/n, good hustle today?”

You grumbled with a non-committed frown, idly glancing through the letters you’d memorised.

“Mngh… you?”

“mnh…”

He leant his weight against the wall and his forehead against the cooling glass after his responding grumble. It made your frown lift just slightly. He never really went into details about his work, but despite his smiles and playful jabs, he always looked strained. Eye bags, bedraggled hair, and dirty slippers, poor guy looked so soft and tired you were always tempted to give in whenever he slyly offered to come into the booth and take a break with you before your governmentally enforced bedtime. You’d gathered with how much he worked during the day that offering some stress and obligation-free drinks back at your place wasn’t really feasible… N-not that it was to begin with. Having your end-of-day chats was always lovely, but you had strong suspicions he just wanted to be friendly about an uncomfortable situation, he had that kind of welcoming air about him, so asking a very handsome very sweet near-stranger for drinks would be weird… right? Yeah…

“that entry request looking pretty interesting today, huh?”

“Wha… Oh!”

Shit. You’d just been zoning out and staring at his picture. Blinking and rubbing your face to clear your eyes you handed the request and identification back through and quickly ticked off the checklist with mechanical efficiency and pressing the button to unlock the apartment complex’s door.

“Right, go on ahead.”

…

He didn’t move.

Kinda just idly watched the door open before those icy blue eyes dragged back to you.

“damn, you really are zonked out today. already trying to send me to bed, officer? and here i was thinking you liked our talks.”

He teased with a little grin while you busied yourself with signing the checklist with his name and apartment number before tucking it into your desk drawer to ignore how hot your cheeks were.

“You know I do.”

“then what’s the problem?”

Ughh… He was really good at this… Didn’t matter how hard you kept up a smile, Sans had better eyes than you did.

You rubbed your face again, digging the balls of your palms against closed eyelids to try and rub the calling sleep out of them. Double checking behind him through the glass to ensure there was no one else waiting… you sighed and slumped with a drawn out groan.

“i knew it. come on, what’s wrong?”

He refrained from immediate jokes, and… well you appreciated it. Today didn’t feel like one that could be saved with quips.

“…I got three of them today.”

He went silent for a moment, a twisted up sympathetic look souring his pretty smile, his voice growing even softer.

“they’re getting ambitious…”

“Mh…”

It wasn’t the first time you’d had an off day, but for months now most all Doppels had backed off your building, no matter how much you triple checked the papers… you didn’t want to think about what was happening at the other housing estates.

“i’m sorry, kid… the D.D.D. shouldn’t have made this stupid system.”

“Bots couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t trust them to be loose enough with the regulations that innocent people not wearing their usual hats wouldn’t get hurt.”

“you don’t know what they do to them during cleanup.”

“It’s implied, Sans…”

Another silence… your throat felt tight.

“Sorry…”

“about being the kindest person left in this damn city? don’t be. you gotta be the only person left that feels bad for doppels.”

He gave a gentle smile and carefully slid his hand through the grate, which you accepted gratefully. Human contact was so rare nowadays, everyone was terrified of everyone else. Business owners had their own strict rules to ensure they were selling goods to doppels. You knew they were dangerous but… ugh… it was such a complicated situation. But you weren’t about to put this responsibility on anyone else.

Sans squeezed your hand reassuringly, all you could do was pitifully bite back tears.

“I just… hate how bad it’s gotten. No one in the building trusts me and I’m supposed to be protecting them.”

Another gentle grip got your attention back to those heart-achingly sincere eyes.

“how long you been at this, kiddo? eight months? and not a single casualty. i don’t know about you but that’s fucking astounding. and even if you did slip up, a doppel’s sole purpose is to do so, make you fail, make you crumble under the pressure and let them in. not a soul at the D.D.D. could dream of being as gutsy as you.”

He hesitated for a moment before crouching down a little behind the glass, guiding your hand through the grate, and sending a full body quake through you when the last thing you expected was for warm lips to press a very tender kiss to your knuckles. When he looked up again, smiling warm as ever, you had an odd feeling that he was as hot in the face as you were currently.

“you’re doing great…”

You pursed your lips and felt your eyes blur and swim with tears, and if you hadn’t taken a moment to brush them away, you would’ve seen Sans smile dreamily as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

“want me to come in there?”

“You know I’m not allowed…”

“you also ain’t allowed to stop and chat with me, but we’re well past that point.”

…

That was very true…

Maybe drinks at your place wasn’t impossible after all…

§

By this point Sans had the tone of how the stairs creaked ingrained into his skull. Walking up and down those death traps everyday was his only workout, and it was still too much.

But damn… who could care about that right now?

When he’d just gotten a solid few minutes cuddled up to his favourite little Human…?

You’d been so warm against him… so soft and delicate, it only made him prouder about his firm decision to make it clear to every other one of his kind that this building was off limits. And if the D.D.D. didn’t get to them first, Sans would be worse.

He would’ve stayed longer. Would’ve curled you up against him, lifted you up into his arms and carry you up these flights like he was lighter than air. But… gah, fuck. He got too excited. You had taken a few minutes to just cry against him, gripping his hoodie with those fragile intricate hands, letting him stroke your hair and soothe you. And then he just made you giggle with his stupid jokes until you were bright again. There had always been a difference between sunny smiles and your smile. Sunny was blinding and almost uncomfortable, it only really worked on the very young Humans, any older and they were either trying to get something from whoever they were smiling at or just wanted to leave the situation entirely. But your smile… it was less like the sun and more like… moon beams through the clouds. Soft and beautiful and natural… which was why he had to reluctantly escape far earlier than he would’ve liked.

Sans had been so absolutely blissed out by your deeply expressed gratitude and appreciation that he had been slipping… He was glad everyone else was already in their apartments, otherwise they’d have seen him shaking to get his key into the door with a grin that would split any Human’s cheeks apart.

He tried to breathe slower, do his regular exercises that had kept him alive for this long, but he just collapsed. As soon as he got the door shut, he stumbled onto his couch and clutched the pillows until they crackled and tore unpleasantly beneath his fingers. Not that he had long nails on anything, but hands were the hardest for him to keep up, it’s why he often stuffed them into his pockets to save a little extra energy. And now, all he could do was grin and claw at the cushions…

You were going to be the death of him…

[linxuelian]

Anime Fest Plus 2024 Convention Experience Log - With Photos!

Hi, hello! As I've recently (as of this post, yesterday morning) attended Anime Fest+ 2024 at Tropicana Gardens Mall, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia, I've decided to write an experience log about my day there! While I will be posting a few different cosplays here, since my blog is currently primarily about MDZS, TGCF and SVSSS at the moment, most of the cosplays I'll be sharing will be from these three titles. To add to the fun, I'll also have commentaries on them!

To preface, the largest anime convention in Malaysia is Comic Fiesta, an annual mecca with 70,000 attendees as of the year 2023. Anime, games and comics are popular in this country, so there are smaller cons dotted throughout the months.

Anyway, the crowd wasn't as large as Comic Fiesta. As the structure of Tropicana Gardens Mall is rather narrow, you'd technically have to file through in two to three lines to be able to walk in and out of the place.

The exhibition hall at the fourth floor hosted all performances as well as cosplay booths. You'd have to ride one of the two escalators up to the hall - plebs without a ticket are doomed to be stranded at the bottom of said escalators, unable to sop up the merriment held exclusively above.

Here are some pics though, just in case you were a pleb that day, or just didn't attend the event:

Main hall programs and booths featured mostly Hololive and sexy pretty girl cosplayers and figurines, given the regular, expected fare when it comes to the anime consuming demographic (yes, I'm calling you out, my anime-watching brothers). I didn't take pictures of the doujinshi market out of respect for the art sellers there, but I did buy a beautiful print and got some lovely free stickers from that ONE vendor who sold BL stuff among the throngs of moe girls/Genshin Impact.

Yes, there was only one stall. But that one vendor made my day! Bless your heart, sister!

Now, I'll move on to the highlight - the cosplays. Nothing fills my heart with more joy than seeing happy people wearing colorful costumes and having a blast just being part of the convention scene. To be honest, it's so common to be wearing cosplay outfits nowadays that folk don't even notice you when you're dressed up - and I say this from experience; nobody noticed at all that I was in costume (or they were far too polite to laugh at how shitty I looked LOL, I didn't even dare take pics of myself). These events usually become scavenger hunts for me, to identify the ones from series I know or my tribe (fellow MXTX fans aha!).

First up is an oldie that's a goldie - Mr. Spock from Star Trek (credit: FaceBook user Yasuhiro Orihusay):

Honestly, I did NOT expect to find any Star Trek cosplays there. My dad's a Trekkie, so this was one of the first pics I sent him at the con itself. Live long and prosper, Mr. Spock!

Next, a furry OC:

I wasn't able to get their social media account as they were waiting in line for an autograph by a cosplayer, so unfortunately I'm unable to credit here.

Furries are currently still a new thing in Malaysia - but I'm glad to see them appearing more frequently at our cons, since they do diversify our pop culture scene quite a bit. Furs Upon Malaysia (FURUM) is held annually in Kuala Lumpur. The tickets are always sold out within an hour, so it's definitely growing and also contributing to tourism (Indonesian and Singaporean furries gather there too).

Also, they're fluffy. I love fluffy things. Much thanks, furry fandom, for being fluffy!

Moving on, here's a group cosplay of Jojo's Bizzare Adventure's Six Pistols (Mista from Golden Wind's Stands, if you're wondering which season it's from):

Vibrant and very spot on! I was unable to get their social media account due to the crowd and disorientation on my part. Do try to look them up, though! They were pretty popular, so I'm sure someone would have shared some info if you're interested.

Anyway, here's a White Mage from Final Fantasy (credit: https://www.instagram.com/yari_hayashi/):

Final Fantasy's one of the older franchises, but it's definitely rising again due to the new FFVII remake. I thought he was Garnet until I saw the blond wig. Bless the mages, healing power plus!!

Next in line is one of my all-time favorites, Sailor Moon (credit: https://www.instagram.com/jiahuab0719_cos/):

I'm a Moonie so seeing a Sailor Moon made me pretty excited! I don't see too many Sailor Moon cosplays even in Comic Fiesta - cosplays at our conventions are pretty seasonal and tend to follow trends, from what I've seen. She definitely caught quite a bit of attention with her wings, too. I saw her getting stopped quite a bit, so I'm glad I got a pic before a line formed!

Aaaand! I've saved the best for last! I'll be showcasing the MXTX stuff now. To start off (with a bang), here are two cosplayers of the number one seasonal love interest of the BL world, Hua Cheng a.k.a. San Lang Didi (Grown Up Version):

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/karry.1213/ (donghua version) and https://www.instagram.com/kopiii_cos/ (manhua version)

Remember how I said cosplays at Malaysian conventions tend to be pretty seasonal? Well, the current flavor of the month for the BL world is definitely TGCF - and the hottest flavor is now San Lang didi. You're going to get stopped for photos pretty often for dressing up as this flashy guy, and for good reason too. Donned in striking red, Hua Cheng is the Ferrari of the danmei world.

I overhead Kopiii_cos' friend saying so many people have been asking for photos! Viva Fafa!

Next, we have the ever beautiful WangXian couple cosplays:

Credit: Wei Wuxian (https://www.instagram.com/purple_384/) and Lan Wangji (https://www.instagram.com/anson1510/)

WangXian's a staple when it comes to the MXTX fandom. There's nary a person who doesn't love these two soulmates, and with these elaborate costumes, they've certainly stolen the show! They were the first couple I saw at the entrance of the exhibition hall, which makes sense since there was an OTP contest going on that afternoon.

Moving along, we have the main character of his story, the Crown Prince of Xian Le, Xie Lian (credit: https://www.instagram.com/arkutagwa/):

I gotta admit that this Lian's the sweetest of the Xies so far. Had a field day calling each other cute (what can I say, we both had cute personalities)! Gotta love that charming dimpled cheek, bless!

Speaking of cute, there's also this whole cute pose thing going on with certain attendees (credit: https://www.instagram.com/chzesin/):

I won't lie - I didn't recognize the character at first. But with the dark-gray-to-white ombre, black and red colors to tell you that's a Wei Wuxian, I'm just going to take a gamble here and deduce that yes, that is indeed a Wei Wuxian and include it. Let me know if you don't think it is.

Last but not least, we have our MXTX OTP group:

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/ayafvrvv/ (Luo Binghe) and https://www.instagram.com/close0402/ (Lan Wangji) - the rest didn't share their social media accounts but they did say you can find them through each other's accounts.

Turns out they're a group who'd entered the OTP contest that afternoon. If you're wondering, no, Binghe isn't paired with air (this is Bing-mei, not Bing-ge). There was a large number of attendees that day as it was Sunday, so their Shizun was still looking for parking. I'd gotten lucky since I'd arrived there just as they'd opened up Basement 3 so ZOOM I parked near the escalators with plenty of space to spare. Until today I chalk it up to being last-minute dressed as Xie Lian, the god of good luck for hobos like myself (or, according to popular belief, Hua Cheng's blessed every Xie Lian cosplayer out there no matter how much we look like we've just stepped out of a jungle). I also had plenty of space to sit for a lovely lunch of salad and green tea!

Granted, there were actually a few other Xie Lians there as well (he's the current flavor as well), but I didn't want to chase after them from afar since the flow of human traffic in this particular mall wasn't too conducive for trying to get pictures, unlike KLCC's garden. Usually, more fans are dressed as the two main characters, Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian - or the shous/bottoms in popular danmei. Surprisingly, I actually saw quite a number of gongs/tops this trip round.

So as a bonus, here's a pic with all our dandy gongs/tops together:

A dashing lot, aren't they?

Anyway, this wraps up my experience log as an MXTX cosplay hunter! Hope you enjoyed it! Bless!

[thefactsofthematter]

43 for sprace but race said that

43: “YOU DID WHAT?”

y’all ready for some fluff??? i’m absolutely loving this little au and i hope you do too!! no content warnings here, just pure sweetness and stupidity 🤩

-

It's a Saturday afternoon in the middle of July, it's gorgeous outside, and Racetrack Higgins is stuck in his bedroom, doing homework.

He's not sure how long he's been staring at the same page of his textbook, his eyes unfocused and not really reading anything anymore, when he hears the door of the apartment swing open. His roommates went out a couple of hours ago to go enjoy the beautiful day, like any other sane people who opted not to take an unbearably hard summer course would do— they must finally be back now.

"Hi Race!"

There's really no need for Spot to shout, as their place truly isn't that big, but the man seems to only have two volume settings— silent and stoic, or obnoxiously loud. It's kind of hilarious.

"Hi Spot!" Race calls right back, silently thanking all that's holy for the interruption and excuse to leave his desk for a bit. He stands up to head out to the living room, and his whole back cracks. He's clearly been sitting too long. "What's up, dude!?"

"You gotta come see this, bro!" Spot continues. "Me and Olivia got matching tattoos!"

Immediately, Race's brow furrows in some mixture of amusement and confusion.

"Wait, you did what?"

When he turns the corner, there stand his two roommates— or rather, one sits happily in a baby carrier, strapped to the chest of the other, because she's only ten months old and not very good at standing yet. They're a very cool pair, in their matching sunglasses and tank tops, and they're both grinning like absolute devils. It's adorable.

"Lookit," Spot beams, holding up Olivia’s chubby little arm to show the temporary tattoo of a sparkly purple unicorn that's been applied to her bicep. He's got the very same one shimmering on his cheek, as his face is one of the only parts of his body not covered in real tattoos. "We're twinning!"

Race can't help but laugh.

"You are. Where'd you get those?"

"There was this street fair thing going on a few blocks down, some booth was giving away all these little stickers and tattoos and stuff," Spot replies, toeing his shoes off and dropping his diaper bag by the door. He pulls something from his back pocket. "We got you one too— Livy didn't want you to feel left out." He passes the square of paper into Olivia’s tiny fist. "Here, give it to Racer, baby."

Race walks over to grab it from her, and she giggles and blows a raspberry at him.

"What did your daddy do to you, Liv?" he teases, crouching down to coo at her. "Pretty soon you're gonna be all inked up, just like him!"

She babbles and reaches out for him.

"Can you hang out with her for a minute?" Spot asks, carefully unclipping the carrier to take her out. "I need to give her a bottle and put her down for a nap, but I gotta piss first."

"Of course. I'm always down to hang out with this little princess." Race takes the baby, making all kinds of silly faces at her to distract her as Spot walks away. He bounces her gently in his arms and wanders over to the kitchen. "Where should I put my tattoo? What do you think, Olive?"

He opens the fridge to grab a pre-mixed bottle— Spot usually keeps a few on hand— and gives it a good shake. Olivia has gotten picky lately and only likes cold formula, rather than warmed or room-temperature, so he passes it straight to her and she's happy to go to town on it.

"Man, you were hungry," he chuckles. "Look at you go. You're drinking like your daddy doing a keg stand— did you know he was a party animal? Believe it or not, your dad used to be cool."

Spot is still cool, Race supposes, but it's fun to pick on him; he obviously doesn't go out as much as he used to, even though he's finally legal now, because he's a little busy looking after a tiny human most of the time. In fact, it's incredibly cool that Spot balances part-time school, part-time work, and full-time single fatherhood so gracefully at only twenty-one, because Race is rather sure he'd have some kind of stress-induced mental breakdown every other week if he were in Spot's shoes.

Actually, Spot is kind of the coolest person alive, if you really think about it.

And Race does think about it... a lot.

Not in a weird way, because he's been best friends with Spot for over three years, ever since they were randomly assigned roommates in their freshman dorm, and he's also seventy percent sure Spot is straight— but, like, he probably admires the guy a little more than would be considered normal for your best pal.

"Now, about this tattoo, huh?" He changes the topic from his own overthinking, keeping Olivia cradled in one arm as he rummages around for some paper towel with his free hand. "There's no chance I'm putting it on my face. What if I match with you and put it on my arm?"

Race doesn't have nearly as many tattoos as Spot, just a few doodles all around his arms and chest, and he's currently shirtless because it's hot as balls in his bedroom, so he could really stick the sparkly unicorn practically anywhere. He wets the paper towel in the sink and uses it to press the little square of paper to the bicep of the arm that he's holding Olivia with.

It's just as he's peeling the paper off to reveal his new ink that Spot emerges from his bathroom break.

"Aren't you two just the cutest?"

Race grins.

"I know, I'm pretty adorable. I guess she's okay too."

Spot rolls his eyes. He looks totally exhausted but incredibly content, which has basically been his default ever since Olivia came into the picture. He never complains about his situation, though it surely isn't easy— he just keeps trucking along and doing his best, rarely even asking for help.

"Dumbass," he laughs. "Thanks for feeding her, though. She was getting super fussy while we were out— I think the heat was a little much."

"I'll go put her down when she's done eating," Race offers. "You look beat. Just chill for a bit, I've got her."

Spot leans against the counter, rubs his hands over his face, and lets out a deep, tired sigh. He clearly needed this little break.

"Fuck. Thank you. You're amazing."

Race rocks Olivia gently— she's settled right down, looking very comfy and sleepy. He truly didn't think he was good with kids until this little angel came along; he's apparently got some kind of magic touch, because she's always perfectly calm for him.

"No problem, bro. I'm always happy to help."

Spot sets to work on making himself something to eat, so Race just paces around until it looks like Olivia’s about done with the bottle, her eyes starting to fall shut.

"Alrighty. Time for a nap, little dude." He sets the bottle in the sink and heads off to Spot's bedroom to lay her in her cot. He carefully wiggles her into her sleep sack, pops a pacifier in her mouth, switches on the white noise speaker, and draws the curtains. "Have a good sleep, Livy. I love you."

He gently shuts the door behind him— he knows she sleeps like a rock, but he still gets paranoid about being too loud— and when he steps back into the living room, Spot is unabashedly staring at him from where he’s settled himself on the couch.

"Dude," Spot says, after a second, "I think I might be in love with you."

Race stops short. His heart skips a beat.

"What?" He shakes his head. "I mean... awesome. Sick. That's great. But, like... what?"

Spot laughs a little to himself, with that stupid sparkly unicorn still shimmering on his cheek.

"I can’t believe I just realized it. You’re just, like, the best person ever— you’re hot, and you’re smart, and you take such good care of Liv, and I’m so into you… is that weird?”

Race blinks.

“No, not that weird.” He sits down next to Spot on the couch. “I don’t think so, at least. It’s chill.”

“I just told you I’m in love with you,” Spot laughs, “and all you can say is it’s chill? What does that even mean?”

Now, for someone who talks an awful lot, Race is terrible with words. He’s got absolutely no clue what to say, so he simply pulls Spot in for a kiss.

“Does that answer your question?” he asks, after a few seconds.

Spot rolls his eyes.

“You are so fucking stupid.”

But he kisses Race again, so he can’t possibly be that annoyed.

Race smiles into it— everything about Spot’s kiss is perfect, and he can’t help but think that this is exactly how their weird little family was meant to be.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I've had a terrible day full of significantly elevated anxiety for no discernible reason (aside from, it's too fucking hot and this always happens when it's too fucking hot, also a number of other things but the level of anxiety is disproportionate to any of those real situations, probably because it's too fucking hot). I looked around my room to see some things I like to cheer myself up. I have don't quite a good job of making my bedroom into an over-decorated museum of things I like, which is convenient on a day when I want to just look around and quickly see something nice. Anyway, here are some pictures of my comedy-related collections.

On the wall - the old Josie Long poster that I got her to sign when I saw her in Montreal, and then I got Grace Petrie to sign it when I saw her live a couple of months later, even though I was so anxious about approaching either of them at all, much less giving Josie Long the weird request to have her sign a poster from ten years ago, or giving Grace Petrie the much weirder request to have sign Josie Long's poster from ten years ago, but I explained to her how it's because I already have Josie's signature and I'd love the idea of both their autographs on one thing, and I did also buy Grace Petrie's CD and have her sign that too, even though I already owned that album off Bandcamp, I just felt obligated to buy it rather than only say "Hi could you sign something that isn't even yours?", and to pay her money for the CD as a bribe to briefly talk to me. Anyway, as nerve-wracking as it was to get, I love that I get to look at it every day now. I have it on my wall next to the lovely quote from The Bugle episode 66 that @nyomkitten made in fancy fonts, and that I jokingly said I want on my wall, and then realized I actually do so I went and had it printed on cardstock.

Books on my shelf. Most of my Britcom books are in ebook or audiobook form, but some are on a shelf.

CDs and DVDs. The top one is Grace Petrie's Connectivity, which I bought to bribe her to talk to me long enough so I could get her to sign Josie Long's poster. There's also Kitson's Shenaniganagain CD, and the Lucksmiths CD that I bought on eBay because Kitson wrote the liner notes on it. Then we have John Oliver's stand-up special, Flight of the Conchords, Thick of It and In the Loop DVDs that I picked up at a Celtic music festival once, couple of Monty Python movies, a hard move away from comedy in the BBC House of Cards, some DVDs purchased back when Joss Whedon was still cool, and I did used to be a big hockey fan and follow the Edmonton Oilers really closely. Haven't cared in years; they made the Stanley Cup finals this year and I didn't give a fuck. But I used to.

Stickers on the side of my book shelf. The Taskmaster seal and Nish Kumar with a coconut on his head, both gifts from my then-girlfriend, attached to a Christmas card she gave me a couple of years ago. Now a somewhat painfully tainted memory, but I still like the stickers. A couple of other stickers that I took off the packaging from Daniel Kitson's CD, the official seal of Higgldy Piggldy Enterprises, which is how he incorporated himself. And a couple of playing cards that Ed Gamble threw into the crowd last year during the Max & Ivan pretend wrestling event, as his thing was "Ed The Gambler Gamble" so he had a bunch of cards. Cards that audience members could just pick up if they wanted to, and one of the people who did that happens to be a friend of mine who sent a few of them to me, which is fucking cool.

And finally, this weekend I moved some stuff around from my old hard drives to have more things in one place, on the big comedy folder that's on my 5TB hard drive. I've actually bought two 5TB hard drives this year, which might not be the best use of my limited funds, but I don't want to risk losing all that. So I have the one hard drive that lives in a pocket on the back of my laptop and is always connected to it as a working drive with this massive comedy folder on it, and another with a second copy of that folder. Part of why I bought the second one was I think I'm going to take the first one with me when I got to the UK so I can put stuff on it there, but if I don't have a backup at home, I'll be too worried about losing it.

(Note: I do not endorse the views or work of every comedian who has a folder on my hard drive. Most of it is there because I like them, but please do not assume I am a fan of all things expressed by, to pick 2 examples just in the As, Alfie Brown or post-2019 Alun Cochrane. Technically there are three people in the As whose views I do not share, because Alan Partridge has some ideas about immigration policy that just wouldn't be feasible. Oh and I don't like how Adam Hills got an MBE a couple of years ago and suddenly started expressing monarchist sentiments a lot. Only one letter in and I'm already disagreeing with plenty. On the other hand, I'm almost sure that Alice Fraser has never said anything wrong in her entire life.)

Of course, the hard drive lives on the back of my laptop next to my other Nish Kumar sticker, which I got because of the laptop that Nish had in season 4 of The Mash Report, which got filmed in his home due to lockdown:

I've definitely posted all of this before, but collecting those things again put me in a slightly better mood, which was the goal. Hope everyone's having a nice week and they solve climate change soon.

[theyellowroseofsodor]

Traintober 2023!

So excited to be here! I’m going to be writing this for the next month so it may be a bit for the next Yellow Rose update, but don’t think that it’s going away forever! It’s being written too! Enjoy!

Day One - Free Day!

Gordon was surprised to say the least when he returned to Tidmouth Sheds and the adjacent manor that night. When he first left the manor that morning there was nothing out of the ordinary. Now? There were cobwebs hanging across each doorway of the roundabout shed. He slowed to a stop at the turntable, letting his driver and firemen out, who looked equally surprised. He shifted to his human form and rolled his head, a light crackle of his bones feeling excellent after a long day, and he waved goodbye to his team. As he approached the manor’s door he could hear music getting increasingly louder, till he opened the door was blasted with a loud bass. He winced, growing irritable at the sound and it was making him increasingly cross at the assault. The manor looked the same as always as he walked through the door and found himself following the sound as he walked up the steps to go upstairs.

Spooky scary skeletons

Send shivers down your spine

Shrieking skulls will shock your soul

Seal your doom tonight

As Gordon reached the upstairs living room, he found Camille dancing by herself to the music as she placed a few skeletons on the mantle of the upstairs fireplace. With her back to him, he found the Bluetooth speaker and began pushing the button rapidly down to a lower volume. She quickly turned around as the volume died and she grinned at him.

“Gordon! You’re home!”

“And my ears have never been so assaulted in all my life. What on earth, Camille?” He looked at her admonishingly.

She only grinned back at him and held her arms out to the room, “It’s spooky season!”

He cocked an eyebrow at her, “Spooky season?”

“Yeah, you know, Halloween.”

He looked at her not understanding, “Halloween is one day and it’s at the end of the month. Today is only the first.”

She walked over to him and took his hand, spinning herself though he found himself aiding her, “But it’s my favorite time of year and there’s no harm in decorating now.”

Gordon looked over at a small tote of decorations and rolled his eyes, but her smile was contagious. He smirked down at her and shook his head, “Fine, but keep the volume down at least. For me?”

She tiptoed to kiss him and he leaned down to his lips, “Of course. I know you like to watch the news or crime shows when you get home. I lost track of time. I’ll turn my music back to my earbuds.”

Gordon grunted in response and moved to his favorite blue recliner to turn on the TV. He eyed the little box once again and shrugged. There had never been many decorations for the Halloween holiday at Tidmouth or anywhere on the island that he could recall. A few decorations could do little harm.

The next day, when Gordon returned home, there were skeletons in the yard and hanging around the sheds. Some were full sized, some were small, others were just bones placed around the yard strategically with a few grave stones. Where on earth had she found those? He ignored them as he walked up the path to the house.

The day after, Gordon began to look around in an almost frustrated awe as there were gooey window stickers to spell out the words “HELP” or “BEWARE” with red blood decorating them. There were even a few bloody handprints and he found that on some of the sidetracks that weren’t used in the yard there was caution tape and cones around some fake blood and a dismembered limb.

He chastised Camille about her poor taste, but James and Thomas defended her and talked about how great the décor was. There were even little odds and ends inside the house, including but not limited to skeletal animals (a dragon, raptor, unicorn, and gryphon to name a few), sugar skulls, a few venus flytraps and piranha plants next to Henry’s plants in his indoor garden cabinet lit by their warm lights and also a few decorative orange and black lights, table clothes with spiderwebs and decorative towels, and this was all just in the main room! She had replaced his own blue mattress set for a Halloween themed one. There was a little “trick or treat” block on his desk and a Halloween countdown calendar as well.

But the last straw was when he came home one day and found a tall animatronic witch on the front porch, by the door. She was the stereotypical green, warts and all, in all black clothes with the pointed hat and the broomstick in hand. He glared at the witch and she looked blankly ahead.

Gordon sighed and went to walk right past her when she moved and started cackling in a high pitched laugh. He about jumped out of his skin and turned to scowl at the robot who continued to laugh.

“Hiya, sonny! How about a kiss?! Eeeeeehehehehehehe!!”

Gordon had never wanted to punch something so badly. He looked the witch over in disgust and stomped into the house as she continued to cackle.

“Camille!!”

“You love me!!” She said laughing from the upstairs.

Gordon shook his head as he removed his shoes and work jacket.

This was going to be a long month.

[iamosirita]

To All The People I Ghosted–Please Let Me Get Back to Life

Disclaimer:

This is not to glorify mental illness. Trust me, you don’t want it–for God’s sake, it’s not cool at all. On the other hand, if you still perceive mental illnesses are just a result of disconnecting from God, you can stop here. Please leave now and pray for us sinners lol. At the moment, I don’t give a crap anymore. Either this post can be a source for you to ‘spill the tea’ among your group of friends, if that makes your hangout session more fun–I don’t mind. I just want to get in touch with the people I care about, again.

 

Long story short, I ghosted most of the people I love for roughly three years, thanks to the major depression and anxiety–and now I just want to get back to life. Well, nothing says "I missed you" like a three-year vanishing act, right?

When It All Started

Let’s rewind to 2020. Remember that tiny old friend called COVID? Ah, can’t believe it was 4 years ago already. Months of getting stuck at home, 2021 was when it all started. I began pulling myself away from a few close friends, though at first, it was quite on and off. When the pandemic hit, with everyone still unsure when we are getting back to normal again, managing life felt like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding an analog unicycle–obviously I am not the only one experiencing this. That period of time was such a disruption, it was just too much to navigate. 

Working from home was  fun–for about five minutes. Then it just became a constant state of fatigue. It’s like, “Oh great, I get to live at work now. Awesome.” Everything was exhausting. I remember I used to lay down on the floor, give it a nice and loud grunt–right away every time I finished my online meeting. You must have done something like this, too. But no, that’s just not the worst, yet. 

Early 2022 rolled around, I didn't expect I would get such a major event at that time, later I found out it was just an accumulation of all the crap. One day I vomited so hard while having an awful emotional outburst–which led me to finally decide to go to a therapy, for the first time ever. And you guessed it right, I puked, again, after the session. The therapist was like, “You have symptoms of depression.” She suggested that I have follow up sessions regularly. And I was like (obviously I said this in my head lol), “Oh, you’re kidding me.” 

For a moment after that, I tried to get back into the swing of things. I felt like I could rejoin the land of the living–though obviously, with some assistance, being aware that there’s the ‘handle with care’ sticker on my forehead and I gotta do some homework from my therapist at the moment lol. 

So I started seeing more people again. Finally the stupid Covid started to be manageable as most countries were gradually opening their borders again–which means, we’ll get to see people physically, again! Yeay!

But then BAM! A big family incident. Depression hit harder, it caught me totally off guard. By mid to late 2022–which then got re-ascertained after getting another assessment with a different clinical psychologist again last year–I got the official diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. Great, I’ve always wanted a title. Now I don’t need to be FOMO, I joined the trend! Oh, Life is so colorful. Congratulations, Retmi!

What Happened to Me (In a Nutshell)

In short, I started getting more frequent outbursts. Ahh, my life was just so cool! 

I come from the very generation that’s quite well aware of mental illnesses but I never realized that it’s real lol. It is real fun! Having to vomit. Experiencing such derealisation. Feeling such terrible nausea–and even vomiting every time I get to see people, especially in person. I kept blaming COVID for this for quite a while. Not being able to do things due to those awful bad thoughts and sadness–like showering (my record was 2 weeks); eating (this wasn’t new, don’t worry indigestion and heartburn has been my friend); even reaching my water bottle ON MY BEDSIDE when I was literally FEELING so THIRSTY (This happened a lot of times and I would curse myself every time); including doing businesses in the toilet. Fun fact, I peed on my pants a few times, even got the urinary infection as a result of frequently holding the urge to pee–what a great week, having to keep going with lyfe trying to hold the pain without any medication, because I got rejected to have antibiotic pills from the pharmacy due to my depression. Instead, I was suggested to get a GP consultation for antibiotic prescription. Awesome. I indeed got so much money after spending so much to go back and forth, from the regular therapy, to GPs, and even Radiology and Pathology clinic to get USG mammogram scan and biopsy for my breast tumors—that was previously getting so much sickeningly painful—doctors suggested we need to ensure as they might be cancerous but turned out the awful pain was due to my depression and anxiety, too. Great. Oh, how I love being this cool. That’s why I then got these cutie little pills to help every time I feel like getting the outburst, otherwise my little tumor friends would scream. And so painkiller pills began to be my everyday best friends. Can’t believe I got to this phase of life, I never felt as cool before, really. 

I Am The Ghost

So from around mid 2022 I started ghosting everyone. Parents? Never told them. Friends? Poof, gone. I pulled myself out, I was the one who disappeared, to be exact. I got a new private contact number so I didn’t have to deal with such a long list of unread messages, especially in Whatsapp groups. Social media? Vanished. On Instagram, I started posting on my close friends only, to not posting at all. Later on I gradually hid my followers so they wouldn’t be able to see any of my story posts. From nearly 3k followers, to merely 60ish people. Basically deleting followers, but in silence—I didn’t want people to find out how I was doing. Yes—this bitj thought she’s that important and people do care about her lol. 

So all those apps, I was as active as a rock. I still keep checking on you guys, but I just knew y’all aren’t as cool as me anymore. Hehe.

Work? Oh, it was a joy. For the record, I don’t know how to swim, for real. And trying to stay motivated when you’re depressed is like trying to swim—through solid, thick, spicy sambal kacang. Well, I love sambal, but no one would want to be drowned in it, obviously. 

I am the ghost. I spent my time in my room, most of the time, isolating myself from people. You know, practicing for the ‘Anak Kos Sejati’ championship. However, I feel like I also got some ghosts continuously chasing me lol. During this period, I remember vividly, around May to August last year, I frequently had this bizarre visualization. It felt like I was stuck in the darkest, most confusing labyrinth, barely able to see anything, let alone move a single finger–This always made it hard to breathe and left me feeling nauseous. I felt like it’s so much worse than any of Joko Anwar’s horror movies–lol, he should consider hiring me as a horror consultant, I bet. I was scared all the time. I felt like my life had just ended and I could do nothing about it. Most of the time, I kept convincing myself I have died, at least figuratively. Or, I might better just go die, literally.

My Castles Crumbling

Yes, just like Mother Taylor Swift would say lol. 

I really had a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels but they’re rusting. 

Oh damn, guess I can safely say I am a true Swiftie, as I’ve experienced exactly what she writes(?) 

Yet, if you’re wondering whether I got to deal with such s*icidal thoughts whatsoever that commonly come hand in hand with major depression–no. I was convinced I would never get anything like those destructive ideas. Since the very beginning, every time my therapist (I met 3 therapists in total, btw) gave me questions related to it, I would firmly answer no. 

I am pretty sure I am still able to think rationally so I would never think of hurting myself, let alone anything worse than that–well, though I’m not sure about other assessment questions that might lead to the real answer that I might not be aware of. All I said was I constantly wish that I could just get some fatal illness like severe COVID or just let these tumors kill me quickly, without me having to be a burden to people around. 

I was pretty sure I would never have such stupid thoughts, ever–until mid 2023, I finally had it. It really came so casually effortless, and I didn’t even realize that was a form of s*lf-harm thoughts. It was July last year, I unconcernedly thought of trying to c*t my wrist, just to see how painful it is. Obviously it was during quite an outburst, but I was just quite used to dealing with them so I thought that was just my common anxiety and depression attack–until I talked to Yaya. (btw, Yaya is the one who’s been around since day one, helping me navigate every time I need help. p.s please do pray for her she’s so close to becoming a clinical psychologist now and I’m shoo proud!). I didn’t know whether I should be relieved to be able to talk about it before doing it. Trust me it really freaked me out, I never knew I would be so scared of my own thoughts since that day. My therapist then suggested that I stop cooking for a while to be safe. I didn’t touch kitchen knives for about a week, ensured I had the lifeline number handy, and trust me I still couldn’t believe I got to experience that fear of my own thoughts–until today. 

Retmi? Having self-harm thoughts? 

Told you, I’ve really changed to one of those cool TikTok kids and we’re just not the same anymore. Bye-bye friends, we’re not in the same league, I really need to withdraw myself from you guys lol. 

Why Did I Ghost You

Did I want to ghost you? Obviously not. 

Ghosting was my instinctive survival mechanism. It wasn’t you, it was me. I needed space to navigate. Sorry for disappearing, like that worst ex of yours. Not being able to celebrate your big days, stop listening to your stories when I know you must need someone to talk to. I have been too drained dealing with myself, barely able to keep sane through days, weeks, months, it is really excruciating. 

By the end of 2023, I finally told my parents what was going on. That was another significant period of the depression journey. Another fun fact, I made several drafts of the script (lol, gotta be well-prepared, right?) before finally talking to them. I then waited until I felt calm enough so I wouldn’t have an emotional blow-up.

But still, I vomited. Yep, full-on drama. lol. 

It took me years to accept that I have depression and anxiety. Just like how I’ve been disappearing the whole time, I wished they would one day magically vanish so I could get back to the people I care about. Spoiler alert: they didn’t vanish. Slowly, very slowly, I’m now in the process of trying to live with them. I can’t keep running away forever.

What I Want Now

Now I feel better. I still take my pills sometimes when needed. I get some outbursts and physical pains a few times in a while but not as frequent anymore. I started learning to listen to my body. I started picking up a new hobby. I feel like I’m slowly getting my self-esteem back, piece by piece. Putting things back in their places, including reconnecting with the world and the people I care about. Because, surprise, I actually missed you all.

I’m writing this to explain my absence. Obviously not to be pitied, oh that’s the worst thing I could imagine, please, please, please, don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice–lol you sing you lose! 

But please, again, don’t do that. I’m giving you this very brief summary of what has happened–in such a tone–if you happened to notice lol–so that you can see I am really getting better now–don't want you to pity me–and so I won’t need to explain myself again to you. I don’t know exactly how to start, yet, but when I finally say ‘Hi!’ to you again, I hope I don’t need to answer your “How are you?” in a very elaborated way, because in short, I am now fine! 

To everyone I ghosted, I’m sorry. It wasn’t about you; it was all about me. 

I’m trying to come back to life now, like a zombie with a self-improvement plan. 

I hope we can reconnect, and I promise I won’t disappear again. Unless there’s another pandemic, in which case, all bets are off. Thanks for understanding, or at least pretending to. 

Thank you, goodnight!

9 Jul 2024

[ssparksflyy]

i saw requests open and i ran here 🏃🏻‍♀️

i really want to see percy x daughter of hera reader from your writing, because i really enjoy your fics!! u da best 🎀🎀

loveee uuu 🫶🏻

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs 𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧₊˚

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader warning(s): none !! an: UR SO SWEET ILYTTTTTTT

i just KNOW dating a daughter of hera would have percy twirling his hair and giggling

he thinks he's set for life

and he is. there's no escape.

'you and i go from one kiss to getting married' for reallllllll

you make him feel so giddy there's really no explanation for it

if there's one thing that percy wants, it's a happy future

i don't think he cares about where he is or what he's doing, as long as he's havin fun and happy

and the fact that you're the daughter of the goddess who practically symbolizes what's known as the "perfect" life like ??

he just feels so lucky

you're also really excited to see what the future may hold for you two :))

it's something you guys talk about quite often actually

you can talk about it comfortably and casually as if it's any other thing

"oh, and i was thinking, if we do get an apartment, we should try growing some of those window still plants"

"ooooh, for sure! what about getting some of those sun catcher stickers too?"

↑ that moon-flower thingy that percy got from calypso did not make it to the mini garden... he gave it to one of the demeter kids after you started dating cause there's only one girl he wants in his life, why would he want to keep something that another goddess girl gave to him ??

he's so loyal bye

at least now he is

cause you best believe when he was flirty-flirty with rachel you freaked out

you knew about the countless affairs zeus had and how your mother was forced to sit through it and act as if it didn't bother her, and you hated that

so seeing the guy you have a crush on flirting with another girl when you thought he might've had feelings for you too?? HURT.

obviously he didn't know that at the time (we all know he's oblivious when it comes to love okay) but it was casually brought up one time

you were like 'remember when you were flirting with rachel?? yea that sent me into a down spiral i wanted to cry anytime i saw you lol'

and he was just like '?? when i was flirting??? i was?? why didn't you tell me????? hello????? we should talk about this !!!!!!!'

since then he's made it his mission to never accidentally do something stupid like that ever again so you'd never have to feel that way

but technically the next time it happened it wasn't even his fault so

pre-kidnapping, you actually had a pretty good relationship with her mother

hera would be caring towards her demigod children, she'd want to actually try and be involved in their lives as much as she can

it's not like you were having brunch together every sunday but like, she'd try and stop by cabin 2 every few months or so to catch up with you and see how you were doing

even though she already knows everything, she likes to have a conversation :)

but she's only allowed to stay for a bit cause she's got places to be, people to see, and zeus is a little bitch who can't handle being away from the wife he doesn't care about for more than 20 minutes

(was that canon or did i get that from lore olympus in 2021 ... i think it was canon .... i don't remember honestly)

while percy was missing, your relationship with her just... wasnt there.

the gods were cut off from communicating and your prayers weren't working, so you weren't really anything

but then when jason came into the picture, shit hit fan

first of all - zeus had ANOTHER KID ??

second of all - HE WAS ROMAN ??

third of all - hes being sent on a quest to SAVE YOUR MOM ??

fourth of all - WHERE IS PERCY ????

everything was crazy

you begged to go on that quest. you wanted to know what was happening, you wanted to know if your mom was okay and what was going on with her, but most of all you wanted to find percy

but chiron nor annabeth would let you go, claiming that you weren't in the 'right state' for a quest (you really werent)

not going only managed to stress you out more and caused you to worry ten times more

annabeth would hug you and grover would play something on his pipes to help calm you down some days :((

when jason got back from his quest, even more shit hit the fan cause

YOUR MOM KIDNAPPED YOUR BOYFRIEND AND YOUR (not actually adopted but adopted) BROTHER AND SWAPPED THEIR PLACES, WIPED THEIR MEMORY, AND DIPPED ????

this is what they call female rage

betrayal beyond all others

cause you trusted your mom- hell, she was your mom. and she took away the person in your life who made you happiest?? and for what reason????

after that you didn't even live in cabin two anymore

you couldn't bring yourself to do it. as much as you hated zeus, you moved into cabin one with jason for a while

who you obviously became best friends with

when you finally reunited with percy, he was there to comfort you and hold you close while you talked to him about your mom :((

hes always been such a good listener but those times is when you appreciated it most

percy could care less if he got in trouble with coach hedge for staying over in your room at night, he did it anyway !!

he knew how stressed you were, even with him being back

so like some nights he'd put on a movie and try to distract you from your chaotic lives

he knows the best way to distract you is by talking about your future, and he does just that

"i was thinkin, what about celeste for a girl?"

as much as you love talking about your future, talking about having kids always manages gets you a little nervous

you feel your face get hot and you start stuttering a bit anytime it comes up

"i-i like it, its pr-pretty"

percy just smiles and continues painting your nails

which he's not very good at doing by the way, but at least youre not stressed anymore !!

honestly i feel like you guys would get married pretty young

i wanna say when youre like 23-ish

he keeps the proposal kind of chill but also makes sure its not boring either

it'd be after a date, on a weekend where youre vacationing in montauk ♡♡

he takes you on a stroll along the shore in the afternoon, when the sun is setting and it looks really pretty

leads you back to the house, where there's an arch set up decorated in flowers, theres some petals and candles on the floor

practically gives you a whole speech about how youve changed his life for the better and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, taking care of you and making you happy everyday, officially :((

you obviously say no

just kiddingggggggg

the proposal itself is a little basic (hey its kind of hard to be original and classy nowadays) but percy's words are what make it so special and memorable :(

he hid a camera among the flowers that caught everything cause he knew you would want to look back at it, but also wanted to be alone while he did it

he gets you a gift after your wedding, a gold locket necklace (in the shape of a heart of course) with a picture of you two at your wedding laughing together on one side, and your anniversary engraved on the other ♡♡

makes sure to get you flowers at least once every month !!

oh and you do end up making that window still garden in your apartment :))

it turns into a real garden once you move into a house together !!

honestly, how many kids you have (or if you even have them) is completely up to you

cause i dont wanna be like 'you had three kids. their names were phoebe bridgers, lucy dacus, and julien baker.'

but percy is a girl AND boy dad

mainly girl dad though

he just seems like the type of dad that you come home to seeing him squeezed into a dress, covered in makeup, and wearing a tiara okay

hes so husband i love him

[startledpixel]

2024 stuff I am watching/playing/reading

I'm trying to watch more movies and read more this year, in addition to gaming. Before I go on RGG8 hiatus on Thursday, I see people do this on twt and I wanted to do it too. I was gonna add ratings but I got in my head about it. Maybe in the future. This post only includes media finished this month.

Movies

Rashomon - Toshiro Mifune is so fearless in his acting, and it's fitting that we see his telling of the story first, where he gallops through the tangled woods with swashbuckling ease. I also really love Machiko Kyo's work here, it feels like the perspective of her character changes a lot based on who's telling the story, and she embodies all of her versions well.

Seven Samurai - In both of these movies it's interesting to see the origin of all these tropes I've seen in other media. The realist leader, the crude rogue, the eager youngster (Isao Kimura why are you such a smiling cutie), the serious swordsman. Even the coordination with the villagers and Kikuchiyo being the butt of jokes reminded me of ATLA a little bit. I also liked how easy it was to follow the strategy and eventual village siege scenes.

Books

Our Wives Under the Sea - Oceanic horror and lesbians sounded great, but overall this is possibly not for me. Some passages were striking, and I get that the pacing is supposed to feel drawn out because that's the uncertain situation the characters are both in, but the overall tone felt dispassionate and eventually felt hard to maintain a connection to until the last 40 pages.

Games

Dave the Diver - Good gameplay, but two annoyances:

Why is everyone so unnecessarily mean to Dave? Basho and a few other characters warm up to him but with everyone else it still feels mostly transactional by the end, saved only by the fact that Dave is good-natured (easily taken advantage of?).

I don't like when you unlock something and the UI goes "New Content!" Like damn, this isn't a mobile game, peel the product management sticker off.

That said, as a game the diving/diner combo is fantastic, there's a surprising amount of variety beyond the gameplay loop, and I learned a bunch about sea creatures (in addition to stuff from Our Wives, hahah). But I think Spiritfarer set a high bar for story in management sims, and I wanted this game's story and characterization to match its bells and whistles.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - My experience with Shu Takumi games is that there's sometimes a certain arbitrariness to game choices (my first game of his was Ghost Trick). But I did get used to it after a while. I really liked the continuity and development between cases, especially with Edgeworth's character, and I think these games have absolutely peak character design, animations, and musical motifs. But please, why was the mascot vase rotation in the last episode so finicky??

Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! - Very fucked, lives up to the hype.

last seen online - A "psychological horror escape room game", it took me a little over an hour to play. Enjoyable, not too obtuse to figure out, and it really does capture the AIM/Winamp/Xanga era aesthetic (though I did spot a few anachronisms). I'd like to check out more analogue horror media like this.

[returntosaturn271995]

Tuesday, January 2nd: Silk and Sonder Prompts

Today started at the crack of 7:30 am with my feeling oddly light and inspired considering I went to bed at 2:30 am. It just goes to show the power of a pretty planner and stickers can have on a young woman's ambition.

And that is the word of the month: "ambition" defined in the planner as: "unapologetic dreaming and having the confidence to follow through". Which I both snorted at and highlighted because that kind of line is hard for me to lean into no matter how many color-coded stickers I buy or Daily Yoga sessions I complete.

The idea of confidence being the main factor of follow-through rather than ability is tempting though.

And then:

Erin Burks: In a tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, I tried to be ambitious with my chores today and immediately broke a wine glass. Somewhere God is laughing at me for believing I can grow in the New Year.

Hannah Mcpherson: New year same us what can ya do 😂

Yes, what can I do?

So here come the cringe and self-reflective prompts, that I aspire to NOT apologize for...but also would projectile vomit if literally anyone read this out of sheer mortification. Trying to grow and evolve in life is the most important thing but also is so unbelievably embarrassing. The paradox of this will haunt me no matter how many meditation books I fall asleep reading. My shame and Western values run too deep to ever take myself that seriously. Even in the name of becoming a *gags* better person.

I can't, okay. This is physically painful. Imagine anyone actually cool doing this. Lenny Bruce would never. He also died of a drug overdose a few feet from a toilet so here we are.

What does ambition mean to me?

1). Growth mindset, abundance mindset

2). Following through even if it's just a small step, progress over time

3). Learning from mistakes

4). Pride in one's work

What are your current ambitions? List them out:

1). 50 books this year, 5 this month

2). Improve at yoga, stretch for at least 10 minutes every day

3). Run a 10 K this year, run 25 K for the month of January, and run 5 K this week

4). Healthy dating/love life even when single

5). Regular journaling

6). Write/Perform Standup

7). Move forward in your career

8). Cook quality meals, 15 this month (today's was chicken, balsamic vinegar, roasted broccoli, and potatoes)

Why are your ambitions important to you?

Honestly? I want to succeed at the things that make life worth living. Something to show for all life I'm borrowing from the universe.

How would you feel if you achieved them?

Expansive

Optimistic

Healing

What do your ambitions make possible for other aspects of your life?

Work + Travel

Reading informing writing informing comedy

Stand up as a way of connecting with others

Cooking as a way to save money and eat healthy

How can you balance your health, personal life, and other areas of your life in your pursuits?

My ambitions are health, loving personal relationships, meditation, mental health, creative hobbies, and actively putting myself out there. My ambition is to live a good life, not a fantasy. To be a good person, rather than a perfect or even that glam of one. At one point in my life, the only ambition I had to my name was not to be a tragedy, and from there I've achieved everything else.

Ordinary, beautiful, things.

[tentacle-stylograph]

(picture from here but by Holly Main)

okay, therapy homework. over the next 13 days (12 now), try to have at least ten days where i do at least one "self-love" thing and record what it is

shark picture 'cause i'm hoping i'll find a roll of stickers to mark the days i succeed, and those stickers have some sharks with party hats

__

T 1 Nov: successfully told myself to stop talking to myself so badly

W 2 Nov: was doing a character voice in my car and eventually said affirmations to myself as that character, as if he were talking to me

H 3 Nov: worked on fanart pic!! only did about 20 or 25 mins when i wanted to do 35, but i distracted myself hugely beforehand and also forgot / failed to put on any "am i doing what i want" timers

F 4 Nov: didn't take physical notes during speaker event tonight!! really, really pushed myself longer than i should have in my illustration class, so i needed the break.

second part to above: didn't take great memory palace "notes," but i'm not beating myself up about it. i told myself before the event, "hey, it's okay to not take notes on everything. sometimes it's okay to just LIVE what's happening. even if you remember very little from tonight, that's still okay."

A 5 Nov: talked to my brother about difficulties i've had communicating with him (but thanks to a friend who i asked for advice, and of course part of her advice was "if there's a real problem it's important to discuss what it is and how it can get better."

S 6 Nov: call with friend to help me with homework + DID SOME OF THE SCARY ZBRUSH STUFF + went out to the nearby Pokestop a few times when it was orange (Gimmighoul event thing?)

M 7 Nov: MORNING EXERCISES. I DID MY MORNING EXERCISES ON MY OWN YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH

T 8 Nov: GOING TO VOTE even though i didn't have every section checked out; i just didn't vote on everything

W 9 Nov: cleared my computer desktop. I'D BEEN WANTING TO FOR LITERALLY MONTHS -- THERE WERE SCREENSHOTS FROM AT LEAST SEPTEMBER AND THERE WERE OVER 100 ICONS -- so this was nice. took a while, but nice

H 10 Nov: fINALLY read some more of a digital One Piece zine i have! :D a good time. i took a bit to choose between my fanart project and the zine, but i settled on the zine 'cause (1) it'd be faster to get off my desktop and i like the organization and (2) i got a copy of the zine for a friend and it's nice to be able to talk about it together, if that's of interest

F 11 Nov:

A 12 Nov: not pushing stepdad's wheelchair whole time even tho i would have preferred to, in a way. but it would have been bad for my hands, and i would have been doing so mainly out of guilt. (it helped that he himself mentioned my hands without my prompting)

S 13 Nov:

M 14 Nov: typing up and queueing some posts before bedtime

__

something i've discovered with this exercise (already, on day one and two): i don't (always) consider my reblogging and Pokemon Go as self-care. they're more incidental / distractions / my workout a lot of the time.

'course if i'm using them as a break or 100% for fun they can be considered such, but i don't really feel like, in themselves, they are such. they can even be used as self-sabotage, e.g. procrastination (will, i knew that last part, but i didn't connect that to self-care/self-love before)

-> 2 Nov: i'd HOPED to work on a drawing after doing some school things, but i got distracted reblogging for so long that it was too late for that drawing. i remembered the positive self-talk, though, and, even though it wasn't planned and i didn't think that much of it at the time, it certainly was self-love, so it's fair to count it

[bensonsbobblehead]

Summertime Sadness - Chapter 6

Aubrey and Jack hotchner come home for the summer after living in California with their mom for the school year. How will they deal with the trauma in California and living with their fathers new girlfriend.

Content Pairings: Hotchner Famiy x BAU!Reader (ft; the team and others) POV: switches a lot.  some Henry and Aubrey content for ya.

Chapter Warnings: more angst, teenage love yay, sex mention, yelling, crying duh

wc; 1.4k 

A/N: here's chapter six, hope you’re enjoying. im so sorry for posting late, I had so many different ways I wanted to take it and my laptop was broken but im back now :0

Aubrey ran down to the kitchen for a popsicle and water. While her a cup was filing she noticed a post card from California with the address being her moms house.  

She turned it over to see her moms hand waiting

Hello Aaron, this is Haley, of course we’ll be able to come out we both really miss the kids! I’m so happy for him I know retirement was coming soon. Calvin snd I will be there next week.

 No…no, no, no!

Rossis’ retirement dinner, of course he wants them to come everybody loves Rossi.

She grabbed the water and popsicle, and headed to her room. She sat the popsicle to melt and the water next to her desk, Jack was sound asleep in her bed. 

She pulled out her phone and texted Henry,

A: HJ, you up? 

H: yeah, you good?

A: can I come over?

H: yeah windows open

Aubrey got dressed in leggings and a hoodie and a pair of house shoes she wore outside. She arrived at Henrys’ house, it was a ranch with a huge backyaard and the tallest ceiling Bre has ever seen. She walked over to Henry window and knocked, he opened it, “pull me you” she said doing grabby hands. 

Henry pulled her up swiftly after a few tries and running start up the side of the house. 

“You’re dad is probably going to kill you” Henry added after pulling her up,

“You’re mom is gonna kill you! You snuck a girl in.”

 “Yeah but it’s you” he laughed, closing the window then looking at her with his bright blue eyes. 

 Aubrey walked around his room, he had lots over random drawings and stickers on his wall, of course posters of scary movies which they obsess over together.  

 “You kept the list up there” she said looking above at the only writing that’s on his wall. 

 “Uh yeah why wouldn’t I?” He asked in an almost serious tone, wondering why she thought he’d delete it. 

The first summer after Calvin started abusing Aubrey she spent a lot of time with the Jareaus, it was her safe place. Her dad was constantly working and Jack was always at summer camp for basketball. Henry and Aubrey had grown up together and became best friends by default. Henry noticed the change in Aubrey and encouged her to make a list of things to try to feel better. 

It wasn’t much but it was something, he hated to see her hurting even though she never opened up about what was hurting her. 

Go swimming/ take bath and pretend it’s a pool 

Scream into a pillow 

Eat melted popcisles  

Spend time with Henry 

The list was fresh like he had just wrote it again, Henry came home the night of the dinner to rewrite-it knowing she was going to need it. 

“I kept it in case you needed it” 

She ran to hug him and he immediately hugged her back he felt light shakes and his shirt began to get wet. He didn’t say anything he just squeezed her tighter letting her know he’s there for her. 

Henry was older than Aubrey by a few months, even though they were basically the same age. He just turned 17 and Aubrey isn’t to far behind. With her being the only girl and their parents being FBI agents they made sure to protect her. Even though Aubrey hated being smothered by Jack and Henry.

After slowly pulling away they both looked into each other eyes, it was comfortable, but they were both too shy to make a move. Henry finally broke the stare down, “Are you okay? Do I need to get my mom?” He said walking to his bed to sit down Aubrey plopping down beside him.

“Just got some bad news.” she picked at the sleeve of her hoodie,

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, my mom and her stupid boyfriend coming to town for Rossis retirement party.” 

“I take it you don’t like him?”

“Trust me it’s more than dislike, I just hate him for my own reasons” 

“I’ll be there if you need to escape from him. You can always stay with me.” He looked her up and down and smiled. Aubrey figured you only live once so why not, she went in connecting her lips to his pulling in deeper when Henry didn’t push back. They two disconnected looking each other in the eye and smiling. 

“Thanks Henry, you’re really sweet.” She snuggled into his side how she always has since they were young. They both smiled to themselves knowing they just shared their first kiss with each other. They both mistakenly fell asleep completely forgetting that Aubrey had to go back in a few hours.

Hours passed and they were both awoken by your voice, that was coming downstairs. Apparently Hotch had the Garcia tracking her phone and the team out looking for Bre.

“I’m not upset with her but her dad on the other hand.” You said to JJ causing both the women to laugh. This is bad Bre thought to herself while listening from Henry’s room. 

“Why did you let me fall asleep?” She hit Henry in the chest as she quietly shut his room door. 

“I didn’t think your dad would send out a search party when you’re literally here safe next to me.” he smiled,

“It’s not funny and he doesn’t know that” she said trying to appear serious frantically putting her shoes on. Both Aubrey and Henry creeped down the stairs just as Aaron was walking in. 

Henry stepped on a creek causing everyone heads to snap towards them. You all looked at them with relief and amusement seeing the two teenagers. 

“I’m so so sorry guys I completely forgot to tell you I was coming over here—-“

“We were worried SICK and you were over here with HENRY in his BED” Aaron said loudly, he was relieved to see her but so upset with her. 

“Dad I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you and it’s not like that I swear!” Aubrey begged looking at her dad

“Are you two having sex? Because your father and I taught you to NOT sneak people into the house especially girls.” JJ turned to Henry, causing him to blush, Aubrey picking up on it and smirking. 

“What? Ew. No mom I would never, we just talked all night I swear.” Henry pleased with his mother, he was never a troubled boy but he was still a teenager. 

“We aren’t doing that and I just needed to talk to him we figured it wouldn’t be a big deal cause I was safe.” Aubrey looked at her dad, you and JJ. 

“We just want you to tell us where you are especially if you aren’t coming home till the next day.” you said pulling Aubrey into your side and the girl returning it. 

“Go to the car now.” Aaron said in a stern voice giving Henry the look, silently cursing him through his eyes, even though he loved him. “You, room, now.” JJ ordered Henry trying to be serious. “Bye, Henry” she waved sadly, he mouthed text me later causing Bre to smile. When the teens were out of sight you and JJ busted out in laughter. 

“They are 100% going to get married on day.” you said teasing Aaron. 

“Without a doubt, you know Bre use to call herself Ms.LaMongTang, she could never pronounce it right” Aaron laughed causing the two women to laugh. You said your goodbyes as you and Aaron walked out the door heading to the car. 

The threesome arrived back at home getting ready for the rest of their day. Aaron headed upstairs to shower with Aubrey following behind until you stopped her. 

“Bre?” You called causing the teenager to turn around,”yeah?” She said sweetly, “Is the reason you left last night because of this?”

You held up the post card from California, and her bottom lip began to tremble. She looked up the stairs to make sure her dad wasn’t in sight before she ran into your arms. 

“Please don’t let him near me” she whispered in your ear, quietly crying. You rubbed her back giving her all the comfort you could. 

“I think it’s time to tell your dad Aubrey” you encouraged her knowing this was the only way. Aaron had his suspicions of something when you and Aubrey became suspiciously close. He asked you multiple times if something was going on and you just chalked it up to girl problems. 

“I’ll be right there with you Bre, but he has to know.” 

“I don’t want him to see me … differently” 

Your heart broke, “Your father loves you more than anything, he will always see you as his little girl.” 

You hated that she was treating herself like thia. Like it was her fault this happened to her. Seeing Aubrey as a victim has been the harder at thing you’ve dealt with. You’ve worked with victims before but when it’s someone you live the pain is different. 

“In a few days? I just need time to prepare.” She asked through her sniffles. 

“Whenever you’re ready, this is your story” you encouraged her and she nodded with a smile similar to her fathers. 

“Thank you so much Y/N” she said hugging you once lord then heading up the stairs. You broke down once the girl disappeared. You had been dealing with this alone since Bre told you. It was a lot and every time you seen her you wished you could take it all away. 

previous chapter

[boldlyvoid]

Wheels Up

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez

Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...

Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 9.4K

a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.

To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.

He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.

And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.

“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”

But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.

It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.

He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.

He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”

“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.

“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”

“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”

“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”

“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”

“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”

“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”

“Of course.”

That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.

They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.

“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”

“Why?”

She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”

“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.

His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”

She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”

She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”

Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”

“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”

“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”

She nods, “I know, I get that.”

“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”

“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”

He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.

She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.

She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.

She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.

Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.

When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.

Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.

And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.

She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.

Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.

Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.

The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.

They were too cool for the feds.

“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”

“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.

She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.

“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”

“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”

“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”

Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.

“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”

“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.

“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.

She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.

“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”

She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.

“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”

She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”

“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”

“Which is?”

She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

—

He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.

“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.

“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”

“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”

“When did you hear that?”

Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.

“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”

“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.

“So you do have a crush on me?”

“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”

“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”

Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.

“Y/N?”

She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”

He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”

She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.

It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.

“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”

“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”

“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”

“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”

“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.

“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away

“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.

—

“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”

Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”

She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”

“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”

“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”

“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.

He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.

“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.

“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.

“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”

He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”

She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”

“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”

“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.

“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”

“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”

He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.

He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”

“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.

He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”

“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”

“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”

“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”

“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.

She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.

The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.

He was everything to her.

And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.

Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.

She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.

She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.

She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.

He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”

“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.

“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”

“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”

“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”

She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”

“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”

“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”

He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”

She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”

He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”

She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”

“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.

“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”

“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.

It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.

She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”

“What?” He worries.

“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”

“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.

—

At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.

“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you get laid or something?”

Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”

“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”

“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”

“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”

“Always—“

“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.

Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.

“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.

Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”

“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.

“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”

“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”

“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.

“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.

“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”

“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.

“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”

“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”

He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”

“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”

“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.

“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”

“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.

“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.

“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”

She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Hotch agrees.

“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.

“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”

“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.

Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.

“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.

Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”

“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”

She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”

He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”

She laughs, “so be it.”

He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”

“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.

“Coward,” she teases.

He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.

She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”

“What do you want to know?”

“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”

“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.

“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.

“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”

“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”

“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”

“You love her,” Elle notices it.

He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”

“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”

—

She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.

He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”

“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.

“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.

“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.

Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”

“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.

“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”

“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”

“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.

“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.

He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”

Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.

“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.

She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”

“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”

She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.

“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”

She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”

“Necklaces are my favourite.”

“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.

He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”

She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”

“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”

“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.

“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”

“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.

Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.

“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”

“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.

“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”

“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”

Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”

“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.

“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”

Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”

“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.

“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.

The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.

“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.

She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”

“Oh…”

She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”

“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.

“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”

“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”

Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”

—

By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.

That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.

But then she found it.

A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.

“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.

They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”

“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.

“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.

“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.

Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”

“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”

She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”

“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.

“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.

“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”

They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”

“Okay?” Elle follows.

“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”

“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”

Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”

“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”

“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.

Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I just have a hug real quick?”

“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”

She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”

“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.

“Kisses are helpful too?”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”

She hums, “10?”

He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.

“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.

She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”

“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”

She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”

Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”

He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“

They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”

“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.

Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.

His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.

“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”

Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”

“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.

“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.

“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”

“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.

“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”

“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”

“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.

“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”

“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

—

Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.

And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.

She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.

“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.

She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.

He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”

She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”

“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.

One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replies.

The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.

“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”

“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.

Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.

“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”

“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”

“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.

“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”

“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.

She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”

“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.

“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.

“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.

When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”

She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”

“He’s going with you?”

She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”

“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”

“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.

“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“me too,” he barely says.

He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?

She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.

She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”

“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”

She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you for a while.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”

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[superhero--imagines]

Buy our x reader Bat Boy Zine here (50+ pages of content!)

Dick

* He’s a good friend

* 10/10 down for whatever adventure you bring up

* “Hey you wanna go to Disney world?”

* “When?”

* “I don’t know, like next week”

* “Yeah, okay. I’ll steal Bruce’s credit card”

* He definitely gets friend jealous though

* “So who’s that?”

* “Oh them? That’s a classmate”

* “Oh so were you guys close or…”

* Fully expects to be your “made of honor”/ Best man at your wedding

Jason

* The friend that “disappears” for a few weeks and then shows back up

* “Hey do you want to go to that new cafe next week?” You text him

* You get an answer back five days later

* “Sure, let’s go”

* That being said, when he is around he’s a fantastic friend

* You wake up to a knock on your door

* “Hey, I was around so I brought some breakfast, want to watch Netflix and eat until we get sick?”

* He’ll offer to beat up anyone that gives you trouble

* “Is that person at work still giving you trouble?”

* “Yes but please don’t beat them up”

Tim

* A bit of Dick and a bit of Jason

* “Hey where have you been dude?” You ask, you haven’t seen him for like a month

* “Ah you know, went to the moon, here I brought you some rocks and a sticker I stole from a satellite”

* When he does show up it’s like he never left

* “Wanna go outside?”

* “Nah, it’s too hot” Tim responds, and then after a pause says “want to stea Bruce’s credit card and eat ourselves sick?”

* “It’s like one mind”

Duke

* You’re best friends because you’re the only two sane people in the room most times

* “You take that back!” Jason shouts, “avocado does belong on toast!”

* “Maybe of you’re a baby Todd” Damian spats back

* You and Duke make eye contact

* Of great another war

* “Wanna make a run for it?”

* “You read my mind”

Damian

* It takes a while for him to warm up you, he’s like a street cat, but once he does it’s like you’ve always been this close

* “Geez Damian put some pants on!”

* “Don’t be so childish”

* Another one that gets friend jealous

* “What, so now you like them more than me?”

* He gets over it though

* “No I don’t want to go with you and then to get frozen custard, what is this? 1977? Are we going to the soda hop next”

* After a while you probably start walking Titus with him

* “What are you even doing here, you don’t live on this neighborhood”

* “It’s a public sidewalk, anyone can walk here”