#and everything is just so hard but i cant talk to anyone aside from like my therapist about this but i dont really feel up to having therapy

[obsessive-valentine]

Are your request open? Can I request a sequel to Barbarian?

I know he's kind and everything but I don't think I could give in to him 100%, like yes, probably return the kindness but never love him. Reader feels a lot of guilt about the attack and I think that after the event and realizing that they didn't have much to do in the situation, they just felt numb about everything, living on autopilot except when they are with their dog.

This is just my interpretation and basically a self insertion sorry haha.

I would love to know about their daily lives! Does the barbarian take reader to war with him? (If you delve deeper into my idea) Would he realize that reader doesn't talk to him much? Would he be jealous of the dog?

Requests are always open, I love to hear about people’s thoughts on my silly little characters lol.

I did focus more on the barbarians perspective on the relationship rather the actual complexity of the whole thing and psychological depth of it all, it was a rather shallow Drabble but I’d love to expand more on his character. I’ll see if I come up with any domestic short stories for him in the coming weeks, love that idea thanks :)

Yandere!Barbarian X GN!Reader Headcanons

The barbarian himself isn’t a good person, morally or in any other way, and he knows that. He understands what he’s done to you -pulled you away from everything you’ve ever known or loved leaving it all in tatters- he understands he’s killed innocent and guilty all the same and will continue to do so for the clan to thrive. And he doesn’t feel bad about any of it.

He definitely tries to sympathise with how his greed effects you, but, he doesn’t regret his actions but does understand to an extent how hard this is for you. This is why he tries to over compensate by gift giving and finding it within himself to be gentle and patient, so as not to damage you further (despite that being the polar opposite of how he was raised).

He’s not super emotionally intelligent so doesn’t really know what to do aside from the above. Anyone with common sense will learn fast that they can’t fight him off so it’s very possible to become numb and retreat into the mind. If you wont retreat into his arms he will try make it so you feel comfort in his tent that way you’re not always on autopilot but enjoying a craft or something in your quiet tent if even just for a hour.

Honestly though he doesn’t really mind if you’re on autopilot but does expect you to tolerate him, so if you are adamant on distance or fighting him you might trigger his temper. Like pulling and tugging you around, making you sleep in the same bed no exceptions, raising his voice to remind you who you’re trying to challenge etc.

A very tearful darling is a whole other situation, he cant stand seeing you cry, he’d be sobbing, crying, throwing up on the inside while trying to maintain a poker face and think up a solution.

Onto a lighter topic, the barbarians do move camp every few weeks and that includes reader (dont worry he never makes you walk) they don’t have a permanent home just their tents though our barbarian does intend to settle down at some point once the fighting becomes to much hassle for his ageing bones. But never once does he imagine bringing you into one of his raids, rebellions or battles.

He leaves you at camp with the members that aren’t participating that particular day (like the few women, elders or barbarians that just didn’t go-nobody’s forced to fight every battle, just to pull their weight). And of course your beloved wolf dog who he doesn’t regret, he doesn’t get jealous easily especially of the dog he got you for the soul purpose of cheering you up, if he can’t cheer you up at least the dog can and that’s a win in his books.

He’s really not high maintenance, as long as at the end of the day he load up your plate with his finest hunt and sit near you while you both eat, watching whatever fight breaks out in the clan from a safe distance before he has to eventually step in. There’s not much entertainment in the middle of the woods during the evening so you both take what you can get even if it’s drunken fight.

Maybe he takes you and the dog out for walks or fetch if it gets really boring at camp. Will bring you the best stick he finds for you to play fetch with the dog, he sees how much the dog means to you so he treats it with utmost respect. He’ll let you have control over this one little thing in your life for your own sakes.

Therefore while he would prefer you to love him truly, he doesn’t expect it (mostly because half the time he can’t tell the difference between your compliance and you showing affection), doesn’t stop him from trying though. He’s a saint compared to the barbarians before him... only for you though.

[munsonsprincess11111]

The start vs 3 years in.

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: these are things between Eddie and you at the start of your relationship vs 3 years later. Reader does have slight autistic traits in this just a tw for anyone enjoy :)

I love you.

Beginning-

You and Eddie were laying on his bed on your back talking he kept glancing at you and smiling. He had told you he loved you before and you'd said it back in your time. "I love you." HE mumbled after you finished your ramble about the song you was listening to.

Your lips quirk up in a smile. It's hard for you to express to eddie and except he actually loves you. Yes you've told him you love him but sometimes it's harder. You lean up and kiss him in return. Eddie takes it as a silent I love you too and you continue talking the both of you still blushing.

3 years later-

You and Eddie were playing wrestling. You was on top of him pining his wrists until he flipped you so he was on top of you. He smiled down at you and kissed you. "I love you." HE said kissing under your ear.

You smiled feeling his weight in top of you and his kiss under your ear. "I love you too." You says twisting his curl. It came with sk much ease now. You did love him and he loved you.

Uncomfortable clothes

Beginning-

Your laying on Eddie bed. Your clothes clinging to you and you couldn't stand it much longer. "Hey Eddie would it be OK if I took my bra and jeans on ill keep my top on and my panties n lay under the blanket I'm just feeling really-" but Eddie buts you off kissing your cheek.

"Yeah course you can baby." HE smiles at you. You slip your bra off and Eddie turns a shade of red being able to see your nipples through your shirt. Then your jeans follow ad you slip under his comfy blanket. He joins you moments later turning redder by the second.

3 years later-

You walk into Eddie's room. You'd just got home from work and you needed everything off. Eddie's sat on his bed already seeing your flustered state. You drop your jeans kicking them aside off comes your tee shirt and your bra follows leaving you in nothing but panties.

You crawl up Eddie's bed and get under his blanket laying on his pillow inhaling the scent of your surroundings. It was Eddie. Finally calming and feeling comfortable again. "Feel better?" HE askes n you hum. "Want one of my tee shirts or you OK like that babe?" HE askes stroking your hair.

"M OK like this." You say closing your eyes.

"Whatever makes my girl happy." HE says going back to his guitar quietly to keep you from feeling overestimated again.

"You know what else would make me happy?" You mumble n Eddie hums looking at you.

"Pizza..." You smile. Eddie gets up stretching his back "ill go order some after it gets here I'm joining you in your underwear only party." HE laughs as he walks out thr room. "Cant wait baby." You say back.

Going Into shut down

Beginning-

The first time it happened Eddie didn't know what to do. He asked if you was OK and you hummed. You had told him this happened to you sometimes you would zone out and not talk so he sorta knew what was happening.

He sat next to you and held your hand until you was back in the room he created small talk not really know what else to do. But you was OK and that was what mattered to him.

3 years later-

When you felt like you was going into shut down you would go to Eddie's room ans lay in his bed. It was a comfort feeling absorbed by his scent and everything him. You'd lay on his pillow eyes slowing opening and closing. Eddie would give you ten minutes and then come in.

He askes "is it OK to touch you yet or not yet sweetheart?" HE would ask in a hush tone.

He may be loud but he could hush when you was like this. In the case you say no he would nod and sit next to you until he felt you tap his knee or shoulder and get a nod of approval.

If you and when you say yes he says on his side next to pulling you close you him as you lazily put an arm over him. He creates small talk about the songs you've been listening to lately until your fully back in the room .

"You back in thr room baby?" He'd ask quietly.

"Yeah thank you I love you." You mumble back.

"Don't thank me its my job as the awesomest boyfriend in the world, I love you too." He said back earning a giggle out of you. He'd kiss you sweetly ans normally you'd drift off to sleep.

Eddie getting pulled over.

Beginning-

The first time it happened you sat awkwardly in the passenger seat. Eddie got off with a warning from hopper and got run down what would happen if he continued. Eddie apologised to you a bunch knowing it probably stressed you out.

You brushed it off and kissed him as you continued your drive.

3 years later

"Hands behind your back munson." Hopper said with Eddie against the van. You was stood leaning on the van. "You know the drill. You drive the can home n get someone to come set this thing free." Hopper said to you. You nodded still not totally confident with speaking to him.

"SEE ya soon babe I'm going for a ride in the weewoo." Eddie said as hopper put him in the back of his vehicle. "Shut up Eddie." HE said before getting in thr front.

You dro e his van to thr trailer snd told Wayne he needed to go get Eddie... again.

2 hours later Eddie and Wayne entered the trailer Eddie looking like a child in trouble Wayne behind him shaking his head. "HE told me off." Eddie said laying on top of you.

"I'm not surprised." You say kissing him sweetly.

You head to Eddie's room. Strip of your clothes and lay in his bed until your both asleep. Not matter the time. Count it as a nap.

[tautowrites]

Captive: a Zoro x Sanji fanfic!

When Sanji is captured and used by bait by a distanced rival (I made an OC for this please bear with me here), Zoro comes swiftly to the rescue. Inspired by That Scene From Dr. Who and also this tiktok (WITH GORGEOUS ART YOU SHOULD GO SEND YOUR LOVE TO) where I commented I would write an inspired fic and then over 80 people gave me the encouragement to keep writing it!!

Warnings: some talks of food deprivation / sedating so he cant fight so drugging / being held prisoner of course

Long so I will put it under here!! pls let me know if you like it

Cell walls can start to feel like an islet if you close your eyes for long enough, the only thing that was missing for Sanji was the sound of waves and the occasional mist in the face. It was hard not to think about then in the now, when he couldn’t tell for his own life how many days it had been. Trapped on the other side of a dense door, what an unbreakable beast it had been when he tried first to kick it down, surrounded by equally infuriating walls.

When footsteps finally echoed in the hall, something inside him had the nerve to hope it was someone, anyone. Every moment of the door opening etched into his skull, turning of locks and clicking of mechanisms that kept the door set in frame. He had half the mind to tackle whoever opened the door, potential of it being crew or not, but he found no energy to move. Of course, it couldn’t be as simple as a savior, Sanji had to be faced with the unpleasant uniform of the guards.

Each and every one of them with elegant armor and a gorgeous helmet to tie everything together. The one that opened the door had an annoyingly heavy gait, Sanji felt something in his stomach churn at the sound of the figures clanking boots.

“Still above talking to your prisoners, les flics,” Sanji spit at the guard in front of him, the newest one he spotted behind the first. He watched the doorway clear as the first guard stepped aside, letting the other in.

The rough agent of Sanji’s mistreatment wasted no time binding his legs and arms, making sure he would be useless on the off chance that he mustered up the strength to fight. Ruthless bastards hadn't fed him in days, why were they rubbing it in his face that he should have some kick in him still? Did they think that he could still hold through it? Had anyone cared to listen last time he was here anyway, to remember how much it would hurt him in the first place, or were they just being assholes for the sake of it?

Sanji truthfully didn’t know exactly who had captured him, assuming it was his family that kidnapped him just gave him something to hate, which gave him something to stay awake and think about, which… well, he was alive, it worked, that was what mattered, right? Not the ever-looming possibility that it could be one of his brothers or sisters under those helms, that his father had redecorated the palace, brought him back in another attempt to reunite the family. Again.

The guards wouldn’t give a response, dragging him down the hallway past empty cell after empty cell, each the same as the one he’d been in. When his mind started wondering about why no prisoners seemed left alive, the floor seemed much more interesting than anything else. It didn’t look like something his father would have installed, which was only partially a relief.

It was a delicate pattern of stones, multicolored, hideous really. Shortly after the doorway it turned into steps, which had wooden flooring at the top of it. He hadn’t paid any attention to it before, being dragged in entirely unconscious of course, but now he could tell it certainly wasn't anything that his family would stand living in.

Too small, too cramped in, which meant almost worse- a bounty hunter.

“Well, if it isn’t Black Leg,” A voice called up ahead, shadowy and eerie, coated in utter mischief, “Sanji, such a pleasure to host you here.”

He didn’t recognize the sound, or the face that emitted the noise, Sanji wasn’t in charge of keeping up with faces. Just recipes, taking care of the kitchen, he couldn’t stop thinking about a skillet and a smoke.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” The stranger spoke again, rising from a seat adorned with what looked like a bunch of sticks, different colors and patterns on each of them, with strips of fabric or rope on some.

“Why should I talk to you,” He hated when his voice sounded this hoarse. Sanji had to bargain to take care of it, despite his deepest desires to avoid the conversation, “What’s in it for me?”

“An invitation to a bit of a celebration. One of my very own,” That sounded like an easy solution. He wondered what else was in store, “You’ll have to get cleaned up and dressed, of course. I’ll provide you clothing to suit the occasion.”

If Sanji hated rich idiots, he hated people who pretended to be rich idiots even more. This place was nothing more than a massive house bordering on the idea of a mansion, with eclectic decorations and copy-paste guards lining the walls, holding him by the arms still.

“Fine,” Sanji caved at the very idea of food and drink, not even the promise or direct implication of it. Only the hope it would be something, anything. “Whatever the hell you want.”

-----

After being brought to a side room, Sanji was briefly released by the guards and untied so he could struggle to get in a suit that had been prepared for him. The thing was scratchy, he could hardly stand it, but his nose could not mistake the distant smell of searing meat and vegetables, it was all that got him to stay on his feet.

The guards soon tugged him along to a dining room, a bit more to Sanji’s standards- surprisingly- than the rest of the place. He was glad to be left free, if only for a moment. Soon enough the guards were back at it, tying just his legs this time to the chair itself. Fair enough, he supposed.

“Food’s almost out,” The man across the table spoke, Sanji could see him a little more clearly, in a dapper suit much like the one Sanji was wearing. Behind him were rows of… swords. Strange enough, but Sanji had seen stranger collections among pirates.

As if upon cue, the same fucking guards again came out with massive plate after plate of food. Sanji would’ve died if he wasn’t so determined to live to taste some of it. He immediately began to eat when his plate landed in front of him, prompting a guard to pull his hands back.

“Wait- wait,” The man with the grating voice spoke, Sanji had already swallowed a few cooked baby carrots, chewed haphazardly enough they were a bit sharp to swallow, but his stomach thanked him. Sanji glared, the man began again, “You need to at least wait for our guest to arrive! But you have been hungry, haven’t you?”

“What’s your problem?” The guards let go of Sanji’s hands at a signal, just as he had spoken. He immediately went back to his food, not giving this man an ounce of table manners, “You pick me up, you lock me in a room, what the hell did I do to you?”

Laughter pierced the air, and Sanji almost dropped his mutton, but he was better than that. Every ounce of food he got into him was a relief like no other, even if freedom felt ultimately useless to hope for at this point. The man spoke, “Not to me, not exactly, but to your dear dear Red-Leg.”

That was enough to get him to drop his food. He’d shoveled enough into his stomach fast enough anyway, a well-developed skill. He stared daggers, the seat wouldn't budge as much as he tried, “Don’t bring him up, you don’t even know-”

“Do I?” He slammed into the table with his hands, fury, unimaginable, “Do I not know Zeff, Sanji, working on his crew and trying to be his favorite next to you-”

A silence fell upon the room. Sanji looked closer, blinking, looking down at the food and recalling a million offhand comments to the cycles of people that came to work at Zeff’s. But to be this personal, it had to be early, right?

It clicked, Sanji screamed out, “Pareil!”

“Took you look enough,” There was venom in the phrase, no warmth at the recognition, “You steal his favor from me, you steal my future, you destroyed him.”

Pareil had been close to Zeff as a captain, not a ship chef. The food he made always came out the same every time no matter how much criticism he received. He always talked about how much he wanted to go back to sailing around, not sitting in the same spot and cooking, offered to be captain since he was one of the few old crew that stuck around. Sanji always felt the resentment, but never thought on it, never thought it would lead here.

The words had settled too close with Sanji as well, hurt too truthfully. He went on and off feeling Zeff’s retirement to be his fault. Now was certainly one of those ‘on’ moments, if it hadn’t already been. Faced with a former crew member of the man himself, Sanji could only find comfort in that common ground.

“He’d be disappointed in you for this,” He hummed, unable to keep himself from disturbing the peaceful air. Sanji wasn’t the civil sort, not for suckers like this. “You’d be getting a kick in the head.”

“Shut the hell up,” Pareil snapped, not seeming insulted as much as he was just completely fed up with Sanji’s presence, so why would he still be keeping this charade going? He kept speaking, Sanji hoped for answers, “You leaving The Baratie was the best thing you did, I thought you would finally be out of my head, Sanji, you know that?”

He stayed quiet. For all it mattered, he felt like it would bring those answers.

“I stayed, I thought you being gone would make Zeff snap out of it and stop playing papa,” Pareil was making Sanji’s blood simmer, “But he just kept up with the cooking, named a menu item after you- that's around when I left at least.”

Sanji wanted to rip out of the chair, but those bindings, whatever they were made of held him steady, or maybe the food had been compromised to weaken him. It didn’t matter, did it?

“You’re my new target, Sanji,” It didn’t feel hard to assume, but the solidification of the fact made the air feel so cold. Pareil sounded even more frigid somehow, “I want to ruin you like you ruined me, simple as that. Won’t even kill you!”

“What the fuck,” Sanji couldn’t manage much more, really. His head hurt, his brain was spinning in a million directions, and everything inside of him wanted to scream for help that wouldn’t hear him.

Pareil stood up, the wall’s decorative swords and the sticks adorning the chair in the main room- not sticks, sheaths- Sanji wouldn’t have taken pride in putting the dots together even if he had, “I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you. Roronoa Zoro, the acclaimed swordsman you tote around. Are you not the one that Zoro would risk life and limb for?”

Sanji had to scoff, something that covered him from recognizing a shuffling in the background, somewhere behind him. He stared at his own captor, dumbfounded, “You’re using me as bait, for Zoro? You would’ve had a better chance laying out a good meal and sake, thinking Zoro has any interest in saving my ass, idiot you are-”

“Are you not the man that loves him?” The nerve to interrupt, Sanji was fuming and yet nothing could fully free him from his seat, he obviously wasn’t supposed to be able to leave this. Pareil truly thought it would work, and he sounded like it too, the strange smile he wore tainting his voice, “Surely-”

“Me love him? Sure as that smug look on your fucking face,” He wished he could shut up, but it was a problem of who knows how long of pouring a lot of love into every meal of Zoro’s. He always seemed to enjoy it more, or maybe Sanji learned to enjoy him. He scoffed, half affectionate, rest stubborn as ever, “You’ll have to get rid of whoever told you he loved me back, though, he’s gonna be the greatest swordsman in the world, and you think you can beat him, you think you can even get him here using me?”

It was Pareil’s turn to fall silent, looking through Sanji like glass. He still seemed to be hearing everything. Even if he wasn’t, Sanji needed to say everything that was pouring from him.

“Zoro doesn’t waste time being in love with nobody, you think he’d get distracted with the shipcook you fucking idiot? Sure you’re right, if you could kill him you would take the stars from my goddamn night sky,” His face was red from yelling, he could feel it, but there was still more bubbling out of his chest, “You don’t love a man grander than all the seas and expect him to give you the time of the day, but if you think someone as petty as you- if you think he’s so fucking small to love me back?”

One of the guards had come to restrain his hands again, something in Sanji didn’t feel the need to fight them, to listen to what the normally speechless guards said, just to keep yelling.

“He’d never get that lost about me, the crew would drag him into it and he’d destroy every one of you, but he would never love me back and that’s fine-” There was a metal clank, the guard's hands were gone, he’d been tugged out the chair’s bindings- now sliced expertly. He recognized the cutwork.

The sight of Zoro’s face hit the nail on the head, Sanji had been spun around- best so he wouldn’t see Pareil’s look of utter self-satisfaction- and it was Zoro gripping each of his arms. “Sanji.. Hey lovecook.”

“You,” He could’ve cried. Could have. But he didn’t want Zoro to see. Or Pareil for that matter. “Why are you here! You stupid mossball-”

“I think you know,” Zoro put Sanji aside, preparing a sword in each hand, the man had become so lightning fast with drawing and redrawing those swords. Sanji couldn’t help but appreciate it.

It seemed the food had something in it, given that Sanji felt powerless to fight alongside Zoro, forced to sit back and watch the whole fight unfold without contributing a single second. It bothered him in too many ways, all sorts of unfair prodding at his inadequacies on top of watching Zoro prove him right and perform excellently in a battle of blades. Pareil was, as Sanji expected, short work, and his guards stood much of the same level of difficulty. Soon enough Zoro was back in front of him, offering a hand to help him up, unable to look him directly in the eye.

Sanji took the hand, stood, and spoke, “You could’ve let me handle it. I would have gotten myself out of that eventually.”

“You’re lucky you can stand, I tried to get you not to eat any of that shit,” Zoro mumbled, pulling a satchel from his bag that smelled distinctly like rice and fish. Sanji was handed one of Zoro’s very own hand made onigiri. A bite of it revealed leftover fish that Sanji had prepared roughly a week ago, a day before capture.

Having a bit of a time frame and a snack he could trust, Sanji still couldn’t shut up, “You need to forget everything you heard, by the way. All of it was probably because of the poisoned food or something.”

Zoro didn’t seem able to respond for a moment, looking at Sanji dumbfounded. “It was stupid of you to trust the food. You could’ve been killed. You’re lucky it wasn’t poison; it was a sedative.”

“Sedative? I don’t feel sedated,” Maybe not enough to stop bickering about, but Sanji had begun slouching against his companion, in denial as he ever would remain in any situation of weakness. “I feel ready to start preparing dinner for the crew, what is Luffy craving?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Zoro sighed, tossing Sanji over his shoulder with a surprising lack of protest, stepping over body by unconscious body. “Back to the boat, a nap, and then we’ll talk.”

A nap sounded good, too good. Maybe Sanji could let his worries of appearance fall away for a moment, just to be at rest in Zoro’s arm, even if it meant dangling uncomfortably over his shoulder. There was something nice about it.

-----

Soft linen on a mattress can remind a man of the inside of his suits, the way that he sewed them together himself and brought them to his fellow cooks, proud smiles and youthful eyes. He would repair every cook’s jacket from that point on, not because he asked to, but because they would ask him. Truth is, Sanji loved mending things, just as much as he loved cooking.

He’d woken up with the sun, found Zoro’s pants from the previous day, and begun sewing small rips in the fabric throughout the morning. The swordsman was asleep on a chair, no surprise, Sanji knew well not to bicker about when and where the man could catch rest.

It was sweet to realize Zoro gave him the space of the bed, that he stayed by Sanji’s side overnight. How could he not feel some way about it? Every stitch tied up his heart with it, Zoro’s pants just needed to be mended, that was all, right? Nothing else, never anything else.

Sanji’s mind burned as the other slept next to him. He needed answers, he’d fallen asleep propped over the man’s shoulder, he could only remember how well the scuffle went, brutal but quick, admirable. He was so focused on finishing up the last stitch that he didn’t notice Zoro rise from slumber to observe the room.

“Sanji,” It was particularly forward, Zoro saying his name, it always sounded so much different than the little nicknames they’d created for one another. Sanji’s head snapped to look over, Zoro kept speaking, “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” Sanji was a few moments from being convinced Zoro was ignoring what had happened, everything said.

The silence hung.

Zoro spoke again, “Did you mean everything?”

Sanji felt stiff, creaking wood alongside the seat he perched on, “I- I did, yes.”

“You made it sound like I’d be a failure if I loved you back.”

He hadn’t thought of it that way, he just didn’t think Zoro would get distracted by love.

“Do you think I’m that shoddy at what I do, that you would distract me?”

Sanji felt his chest cave in. Just for a moment. Just until a hand was on his face, calloused but so gentle.

“You may have caught me up here and there, but Sanji,” Zoro wouldn’t let their eye contact break now that he’d made the connection. He looked like he was holding one of his precious things, worth keeping from getting scathed, worried over Sanji’s exhausted features from capture, “Ever since I fell in love with you, I have found something more than pride to fight for, I will never give up my goal, but that must not mean giving up you.”

He couldn’t get a single word out, not for any lack of space to speak but the sheer inability to muster a sound. Sanji could feel his voice grappling with his tongue, his mouth refusing to move, his eyes watering, pouring, he was crying. In front of Zoro, too, how awful. How sweet the hands that wiped away the tears, patient the man they belonged to, waiting for Sanji to come back to reality.

“You mean it?” Finally, words came from the cook, feeling more useless than ever in such a strange way.

Zoro laughed, smiled, and pressed a kiss to his forehead, his tearstained cheeks, kissed him with the fire of a man who didn’t know how to get I love you to dance off his lips, just how to wrangle a hand into someone’s hair and breathe them in. How long had passed? A minute? An hour? Sanji could’ve gone for days, weeks, but Zoro had to break away to breathe, “That a good answer?”

Again, useless, red-faced, Sanji was lost in adoration, dripped into his voice with a sweet and simple, “That- That works, yeah.”

[xatsperesso]

I feel like parents are a thing worth celebrating in the demon world and to be recognized as a good parent would be monumental. So, now that he's more comfortable, iruma would make cards for mother/fathers day for the teachers, plus a new parent day, and not think anything of it but those cards get framed and put on display like it was a award

Oh gosh oh lord yess

Iruma giving his teachers cards and maybe gifts because they're genuinely good teachers and good demons, not understanding that, just like the birth of a child, Parents days are special because they're demons, so to put aside thier desires and ambitions to take care of their young is special. The fact that they ever managed to keep their vulnerable children safe in such a dangerous world is a feat, so to be recognized to be a good parent is probably one of the highest compliments a parent can get (aaaah i cant find the correct words it's just something big, something hard to achieve) and from what i understand from you, they view these days not as a formality expected from their kids, but as a sincere gifts thier children give to them if they're worthy. so to be recognised by someone who's not even your young? Someone who doesnt share your flesh and blood? Tears for days, my friend. I am crying just thinking about it. I bet everything i own kalego will treasure it like it's the purest treasure in existence, like it's delkira's blood he just possessed.

And it's iruma. Of course he'll talk about it with his friends, trying to make sure his cards are good to convey how happy and grateful he is to have met these people who've become parental figures to him. And he's iruma, so his reasoning and sincerity will infect them to do the same. To give cards and gifts to the adults who've helped them become the demons they are today. And once again, they'll prove that they are the Abnormal Class. Not in a bad way as they may have started, but in the best way beyond what anyone could have imagined.

Edit: Monumental. Yeah, that sounds right. Being recognized by your children as a good parent is a monumental achievement for demons

Thank you @madmarchhare !

[the-s1lly-corner]

ADMIN I GOT A JUICY. JUICY IDEA.

Remember the Slenderman ask. Welp. I want him as a stuffed animal now.

Reader is mostly the same, exept forrr... lets say they have children. And pets. It's up to your interpritation how they got em i trust you.

And lets say they're close. Real close. Like "you weren't home today so i came in and watered your plants" close. Domestic closeness. Talking so much they can sometimes predict what the other will be doing/saying right now.

Reader is very affectionate but obv respects slendy so they just turn to actions and words to show him they care(although it can be a little hard for them to truly know what they're feeling and how to express emotions sometimes).

So, one day Slendys brother(not that one through.) comes for a casual chit-chat. "So how are things with you and reader? Plan to move together any time soon?" "No, why would we do that?" "Oh well i just throught with the nature of your relationship it would ve the next step, naturally.. you've been together for so long!" "..we're not together romantically, if that's what you're implying." "...you're literally raising kids together what do you mean." "....w.wbhjat."

Cue panik. He goes to talk to reader and they're like. Oh shidt. It do be not so just friendly.

Can be just queerplatonic or romantic, both are cute i think:3

Slenderman x slender-being!reader !

genuinely dont know what all to title this post since its so specific so i recommend for anyone reading this who isnt the silly requester to read through the request ueueue rolls around, im gonna get silly!

honestly i dont think slenderman would know much about romance and marriage. like he knows what they are but he doesnt know... everything about it. especially if its in terms of human stuff, with the rings and all that. you know? mostly because he doesnt exactly leave his woods and the number of people/creatures he actually properly interacts with and forms bonds with is very rare and so far, none were romantic...

and yet here he is, tending to your home in his woods that youve made for yourself, while youre away doing god knows what... it would be a shame if the plants in your home dried, or dust started to settle... or worse someone wandering into it when they arent allowed inside... though, thats even assuming they even manage to get that far into the woods given how possess of the area slenderman is

since he doesnt really have a basis to... base your relationship around, it doesnt take until someone else pointing out the dynamic to him. namely, the creatures he calls brothers

are they actually related in admins au? were they just created by zalgo at the same time? do they have the same genetics? honestly admin hasnt decided yet but they still view each other as siblings!

that aside, slenderman would definitely be in some form of denial. him? this man eating monster who mostly lives in solitude? the same one who has never felt the embrace of another person (/j but now that i think about it....)

THAT slenderman?

hell i dont even think its proper denial because he thinks he cant have those feelings.. not i think its denial because this really cant be what it is, right?

this leads to him doing what he does best; silently following someone.. usually in order to spook them out of the woods or to... hunt... but this time, hes simply observing you, trying to figure out if you're in the same boat at him

but you're just so vastly different from him in nature and personality that its hard to pinpoint your thoughts... sure he can read minds; i think most slender beiings can do that; but i dont think they can do it on other slender beings you know

doesnt approach you about it though, so youre going to be the one to ask him what the hell hes doing... again due to limited contact with others hes not the best at expressing his feelings or thoughts outwardly, hell even inwardly its weird for him but thats aside the point

i think im going to leave the ending open on what becomes of your relationship; but i think given how the reader is, they invite him into their home to talk things out with him. are you surprised that he has a possible crush on you? ....only a little since again, this is THE slenderman we're talking about... less that he may have feelings for you, but more so that you just thought he was on the aromantic spectrum

and thats no diss to my fellow aros; honestly i can easily see slenderman being greyromantic or demiromantic :3 ... maybe more so demiromantic, me thinks

rolls around

the ideas are not ideaing i apologize

[its-no-biggie]

hmm havent been rvb posting much..... time to talk about simmons and caboose! cause a while ago i saw a post saying that simmons and caboose are on "opposite ends of the autism spectrum", which is SO true and i wanna talk about the different ways theyre each autistic coded.

[apparently i am incapable of writing a reasonable length post, sheesh]

bc like. simmons is what people typically think "mild" autism looks like. textbook "aspergers". theres a reason im using terms that arent used by the autistic community, and its because autistic people arent the ones who make these kinds of distinctions. this is autism as seen by neurotypicals: socially awkward, smart in one area of expertise but talks about it a little too much, annoyingly pedantic at times.... you get the idea. and while these are autistic traits that i can relate to, i feel like caboose is a better representation of what it feels like to actually have autism. like, he has an easier time making friends with robots than people, he never understands whats going on except for the time travel in season 17, where hes the ONLY one who understands it. he doesnt understand figurative language, constantly misses obvious social cues or breaks unwritten rules that everyone should know, and has a very hard time lying, deceiving, or keeping information from people.

and i think the reason caboose is more relatable even though simmons is more "textbook" autistic, is because caboose is written as DISABLED. he has a hard time following simple conversations. he cant understand things that should be obvious. everyone around him is constantly frustrated because "why cant he just DO it??" so even if his symptoms dont line up exactly with autism (especially since the way hes written changes over the course of the show), at the end of the day, autism is a disability. so personally, i relate a lot more with him and his struggles than someone like simmons, who is awkward and "weird", but doesnt really seem to struggle with day to day life.

in short: simmons is what masked autism (especially if you have a useful special interest, like computers) looks like from an outside perspective. a little awkward, talks too much, but smart where it counts. generally "useful", and mostly "normal". but caboose is what it feels like to grow up with autism. always confused, everyone treats you like youre different and you cant really do anything about it, cant seem to get along with anyone even though you just want to be friends, and no matter what you do, you screw up everything you touch.

anyway im not saying that simmons isnt autistic, or that hes "less" autistic (bc that isnt a thing lol). simmons just masks a lot better than caboose. thats what an autistic person pretending to be "normal" acts like (its certainly how i act around other people lmao). but because hes not written by an autistic person, they write him like thats all there is to it. which is kind of unfortunate because it feels like theres a whole other side to him that we never really get to see.

now, the fact that the writers set out to write a nerd and wrote an autism stereotype, and set out to write a dumbass and wrote someone who is clearly disabled..... that is a whole separate conversation that im not gonna get into. especially since i dont really know much about rooster teeth, aside from the fact that the fandom seems to have wholly rejected them, and of course what i can see just from watching the show. but i think its clear that its not exactly good representation.

anyway, i still hc them both as autistic, and if/when i write them, i hope my interpretation reflects that while still being true to the characters. it actually works out great for me that theres one autistic person on each team, because whenever im thinking of dialogue and i have an idea thats a little too autistic (like saying something really blunt or picking up on a pattern most people wouldnt notice) i can usually give it to one of them instead of writing it out entirely. which works out really well for caboose especially, because he tends to be quiet during exposition unless hes addressed (bc he cant follow it). so having him make autism commentary can break up all the "blue team problems" nicely. plus having him innocuously call people out when theyre being ambiguous is WAY funnier than "haha caboose doesnt know whats going on" imho

[cloudyscreams]

aikatsu stars 2nd season rant

ok im couple of episodes in now and its a good thing im working while watching because i would rage quit otherwise

have to preface this with wow this is even gayer now with elza being so open with actions and words...

there is a fatal flaw to that though, i cant claim it 100% since im obviously not very deep in the story but she seem manipulative as fuck to me and i would take it if it wasnt so...yucky i guess

like despite me hating edgworth at first manipulation was the fun part with his character and dont even get me started on nahyuta because im playing aa6 rn, i love the guy

elza is just...weird. she is the out of touch rich kid who made fun of you in school. she is regina george of aikatsu (how fitting for her to be in a trio too lmao) ive seen a comment saying its because of her mothers approval but i feel like there were so many ways to set up and develop her character even up to this point that doesnt do....whatever this is. im not the greatest writer (barely one at all) but i personally would make these changes:

dont make hime and some other older and/or experienced characters acknowledge elza to the extent they do. with aikatsu so heavily revolving around feelings and intent i cannot fanthom how anyone would say that perfect but soulless perfomance (and focusing on perfection in the first place) is truly perfect. elza cant be the worlds "greatest idol" because she doesnt really break through, she just maintains the status quo (as a rich person i guess it is in line with her character) to perfection. her brand does look amazing and i think admitting that and her perfomance skills is good and neccesary; but i think its weird for hime to refuse her yet somehow not see that she lacks the fundamentals aikatsu likes to preach about (friends/rivals, individuality, emotions and all that which dont get me wrong i love)

following point 1, i would love to see elza perform more and actually break overtime (maybe it will happen and i will be glad if so). similar to yume's power the perfectionism WILL destroy you and eat you inside (if we are talking about some realism here but even in terms of simple childrens lesson), it would make so much sense for her to one day collapse and have to build up all the fundamentals from the ground up (which is not even that hard to do, she is obviously surrounded by people who genuinely like her and she *is* passionate, just in the wrong direction)

no way people actually like her. skills aside, she is nasty to people she perseves as worse than her...personality is a staple thing for an idol, she doesnt even hide being a mean girl??? if even two cases of her being rude got known i feel like she would lose a lot of fans (happened irl at least in k pop several times!!). maybe its too realistic of an approach for aikatsu but it would make sense for her to be two faced, at least

thew thing i hate the most about aikatsu - they dont commit to the antagonists being antagonists at all. the stakes in dreaka arc were so high (according to the show itself!! they literally set it up as a job competition situation) and then it was just a big nothing because wow dreaca idols are actually good and we all get jobs. i get that being a bigger person for mc is the route they take (and with ichigo it genuinely made sense, she is just like that with everything) but no one being even a little hesitant about their supposed rivals?? not even mentioning how mary sue most of dreaca episodes were (again, especially seira) where they got the jobs just because they were the new characters. the conflict was set up and then not developed at all!!!!! either make them so evil im allowed to hate them and not cheer for them or dont make them so mean spirited in the first place, esp now with eliza. i hate that they make it seem so serious but then you are supposed to be like wow i love these new girls. LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

ambiguous and morally grey characters are great dont get me wrong, but what aikatsu does is just inconsistent with what they themselves set up the show to be. i loved the first season of stars because the rivalry and conflict was there with yume and laura but it wasnt showed as laura just being a rival and nothing else. even if they werent friends with yume (or more from what i see lmao) i would take it because her growth arc is amazing. there were no antagonists but the stakes were still high and it was interesting to watch. i think the most beautiful aikatsu arcs come from similar place: admiration, chasing someone out of reach, battling yourself and *friendly* rivalry. i love akari's story even though its a weaker season compared to the first one because it was mirroring ichigo's arc so much

all of that yapping basically to say that antagonists in aikatsu are always inbinsible somehow: no matter how good the mcs get, no matter how many "thinking" mistakes that were already overcome by mcs they make they never fail and it pisses me off because its just not following the universe?? world logic?? rules. i get that power of love cant make you sing better irl but fuck its such a central theme in aikatsu that i refuse to believe they suddenly decided not to apply it to elza for any reason other than "she is better because we said so"

[prettyboykatsuki]

Zero... would you mind talking about possessive Sae...? Only if you want to <3

im laid up in my bed so i can only give my raw unfiltered thoughts rn ahshfn sorry if its incoherent

but like… the thing about sae is that he’s always been smart and detached. ever since he was a kid - he’s had a very.. weird world view and he’s always viewed his desires as objective truth. the idea of dating had always been so subpar to him. even if he has to socialize, he doesn’t have to work for attention and appraisal. he didn’t want it so he didn’t ever care.

it changes when he meets you but winning someone’s affection isn’t something that’s easily attained. especially because he’s never had to try. his name literally means blessed. when sae falls for you, i think he gets so deeply frustrated at how hard it is to attain you. the only thing that rin has over sae is some semblance of natural sensitivity (even if rin tries to suppress its there).

sae has never ever had to try in this way before. for anyone. hes never had to win approval because it didn’t matter in his career. he’s never had to sway someone’s emotions. there’s like a brief moment suspended in time where he’s grappling with it. the extent of those feelings fucking bother him. where i think rin is possessive out of like natural affection, sae is possessive because he’s always a little frustrated.

one of the flaws he thinks of himself is that he doesn’t understand anything aside from soccer. that includes love. he doesn’t have a normal idea of it. he’s dominated and overwritten his own emotions through this lens of logic thats in reality so subjective.

sae is possessive because his emotions towards you are like a little unstable. he uses that instability as justification. him having feelings for you is just such a point of contention for him and the lengths that he went through to effectively become someone you want, cant be overstated.

(but he can’t verbalize that either because he’s prideful.)

so, when it comes to dating you - it was something that he had to work for. and your obliviousness to the depth of his emotions only convinces him that he’s rightful owner of your sweetness.

of course he’s possessive. how could he be anything but when you’re so clueless to all the things he had to do to get here. it’s annoying for him, that other people can see what he can. that they can covet something he worked for. sae wants to be best in the world. he’s smart and rational about it. he wants to walk that path as the single center focus and he puts everything into getting there.

what he saw, desired, adored in you - was something he was entitled to alone. that’s justified. it was him who sought it, who chased it, who wanted it most. who examined you the closest and gave you whatever you wanted.

some things belonged to him. it’s only inevitable people are going to want you. but thats all they’re allowed to do. they can dream of you if they’re so desperate

but just like he decided that he had different dreams one day (always after experiencing some great emotion), he also just decided that you were his. that you always would be. that nothing would ever get in the way of that. to him its a universal truth, a fundamental reality that he accepts as objective reason. the reality is thats love. that he loves you so that means you’re his and no one elses. you can’t ever be anyone elses

[silenttransbian]

I have been out for 4 years and never gave myself the space to express myself properly so i am making it for myself today

(first vent post so apologies for messiness lol)

tw// r*pe, transphobia, parental trauma, not sure what else but idk its heavy for me so just heads up

since i came out my life has changed insurmountably and it has all been terribly overwhelming. ive never really been one to use social media aside from horrifically embarrassing teenage shitposting, so ive just sort of let it all mount up and carried it around. i have a couple of transmasc house mates who i am terribly grateful for and consider them to be family but it has ultimately been terribly lonely not being aroud or talking to other transfems.

i will almost definitely talk about it in more detail on here at some point, but to keep things simple for now, i had very little control over how i came out to my family. it just sort of got revealed to my mum who insisted that my dad and brother (who didn't live with me, messy divorce) would never accept me and otherwise she was very unreactive initially. she feigned support whilst keeping it a secret from everyone in our immediate family but told lots of her friends for about 3 months but had expressed very negative views of trans women before so it felt very false to me. in january 2021 she decided she didnt support my "decision", as well as shouting at me for not telling her i had been r*ped and blamed everything on my dad. i didnt feel safe in her house anymore, so even though it was the middle of a covid-19 lockdown in the uk i had to take all of my belongings with me across almost the whole of england to get myself back to my uni campus. it was easily the worst day of my life and the hardest thing i ever had to do and i havent spoken to her since. i broke my collar bone as a young teenager and carrying all my stuff like that has made it hurt all the time, and i find it so hard not to think about it all whenever the pain is really bad. i was at university for animation, something i had always wanted to do my entire life. i could not bring myself to go to classes for the entire year so i deferred to the next. then i still couldnt bring myself to come in for most of the year. for some reason they didnt kick me out despite my attendance so i tried again the second year, and it went better but i was still really disappointed in myself. in my third year, things got complicated. i started to try really hard and believe i might be getting somewhere. i was the only person in my whole course that was doing traditional animation, my course was advertised as supporting traditional animation but i was not given a tutor so i was totally alone to try and fit my assignments to my limited skillset and resources. i had some ideas for projects i was really passionate about and started to develop and then it happened again and i got overwhelmed and decided i really couldnt do it anymore so i stopped going entirely. during this time i have also wrestled with the fact that i knew deep down that i am a lesbian. recently i have given up fighting it and have accepted that i am a lesbian, i think being on estrogen for one month as of today has played a big part in that, as it has rekindled my emotions and i just cannot fight that feeling anymore. but it has also brought on a terrible loneliness that i think i was suppressing beforehand too, and it has just made me feel incredibly lost. i am really happy somewhere in there about it, but it is overshadowed by a terrible sadness that i have let myself hide away this whole time. it has filled my heart to the brim with love and i feel like i have nowhere to put it and i just want to scream. i have been so scared to say any of this anywhere to anyone for fear of burdening people but i cant keep it inside anymore so i want to shout about it here because i have nowhere else to do it. so if youre reading this i am sorry for taking your time, just know it means the world that anyone even knows any of this and that bending your hypothetical ear will hopefully ease the load even if just for a moment.

[confessions-official]

i feel bad for wanting a different life then i do now because my appartment is stable

i do have a bed to sleep on but i cant help but feel like i never truely had my own space because i never had my own bedroom and i always slept with someone else either next to me or anything, my sister has to take calls and lectures and i have to stay quiet, i want my own desk so badly because only laying on a bed has made me drastically lazy and such, i cant even cry in peace and i have to stop stimming when my sisters friends are over when i dont want to see them

i have a full fridge but its packed TOO much, we have abunch of meat in there that gets forgotten quickly, alot of food that only my parents eat, hell the kitchen itself it so horrid by other families standards, the moment you walk in you already see a overfilled bag of trash and counters that have not been cleaned in months, me and my sister had emptied and cleaned the fridge this easter break and the moment mom and dad got home it got cluttered again, the table we use to just place food is also a mess and we leave fruits and vaggies on it causing them to spoil more quickly

my mom keeps alot of soaps, papers, bags - she doesnt even go shoping, she doesnt want us to use the special soaps she gives away (which is a full closet to clarify) and got mad at my sister when she cleaned the bathroom and used one of those, there isnt enough space to walk, and we use only 6 bags at maximum

i dont know HOW to clean, at most we vacume but thats it, with all the stuff we have laying around its hard and i dont know which spray bottle to use for which products, i dont even know how to use a washing machine or how to mop a floor, theyre both very lazy (and i dont blame them both, theyre really tired all the time and my mom sleeps most of the day) and my mom would freak out if we shower more then 2 people a day because of this really musty dirty plastic bathtub we have that she collects water with so i shower once a week, i know how gross it is i feel bad but its not as bad as my grandmas house which is very moldy and its atleast bareable to invite people in

i never got to dress myself in the morning, my parents always wake me up and brush my hair (my mom always tells me my hair is oily or not brushed well even though everyone else tells me i do a great job) and they just argue about mundane stuff and i just want peace and quiet at 6 am - they always nag me about homework and studying and due to complicated neurodivergent stuff in my head i freeze and i cant seem to find anything i want to do untill its really late and im tried by that time i wish i could just do everything at the same time but i cant, and i cant talk about it to them, but aside from being boring to listen to they care about me unlike alotof other parents who probably wouldnt have bothered despite me not needing alot of support

i wish i had a small house and not an apartment, my stimming usually involves running around and with a small apartment 1) there will be always someone in a room and i dont like anyone else seeing me 2) the neighbors below, by some luck who havent sued us yet, probably dont apprechiate it, btu i have a place to live in

i already have a stable apartment and i shouldnt be complaining at all, i dont know why but i sometimes wonder how it would be like to live in the average family american TV seems to show

maybe my life will turn around once i have my own apartment / house, hopefully by then i will have learnt a thing about cleaning or two

 

[sincerely-krp]

past admin here.. no longer running rps bc of the community. but i've ran a couple pretty big rps in the past couple years and i'll be honest, although i think it's slightly immature to close roleplays because of things people say on a gossip blog, i believe admins are just tired and most times the venting on blogs like this are just the cherry on top of everything they're already dealing with in the roleplay they are managing.

lets be real. admins are usually normal people just as you are, with jobs, possibly school, friends, and things to do outside of their rp life. most admins are also not full time HR reps or therapist. we are no better than you when it comes to finding out how to fix issues or resolve conflicts... member activity and facehogging has been an issue that not only i have seen in my rps but roleplays everywhere have and are currently experiencing. admins can only do SO much. they can't force activity without being called micromanagers and they cant change the activity requirements to be more engaging without being critizied about not being realistic for people with lives outside of rp.

theres issues regarding cliques. most times, the admins are so busy with admin shit that they don't see or notice the clique. from my past experiences as an admin, people would call anyone and anything a clique.

an example i used all the time .. because this is crazy... but back when i used to run a big rp. we got anon's complaining about a "🐻 squad" (changed the emoji for privacy reasons). when us as admins went in to look what that so called squad was, it was literally a member just referring to the people who emojied his post about playing a game later. we're adults, and it's embarrassing to see people talk as if they were excluses children when most of the time its a personal activity issue. if your muse isnt interacting with things on the feed, commenting on post, leaving emojis, talking in gc/ plotting with others, joining games/activities, or even doing events... theres obvious reasons why your muse feels left out. additionally, when a muse has a group of friends they have developed and feel close to, i personally see it as character development. these muses have spent enough time getting to know eachother to the point there they know they like to hangout and get along. as an admin, i've sent my muses to talk to the so called cliques that were in my roleplay to try and see how they would treat my muse and most times, the so called cliques were rather nice and inviting to my muse. making it rather hard to kick them.

we as admins can encourage but not force people out of their circles, we can not force people to answer dms, and we can not force people to write. the best we can do is attempt to remove them or close the roleplay completely.

when it comes to resolving conflicts, believe it or not its extremely hard for us. most times remember we are an outsider looking into the situation. and most times we are not given complete content. we unfortunately are reading screenshots without tone indicators or context. the best we can do is listen to both sides and hope we are making the best possible decision for the community. however. we can not remove muses from the rp because of a bad breakup or because they are upset with your muse. we can't kick people out because you both simply do not get along. the best we can do is ask that you both don't interact. i think the community has a hard time understanding this part. additionally, your issue with another member is not always highest priority for some admin teams, sometimes admin teams are talking for hours about how they want to handle a situation so expecting an immediate resolution to the situation or specific action in general is unrealistic.

adding to the unrealistic thing is expecting admins to be online 24/7. we need to sleep, eat, and do other things aside from just admining. we want to enjoy our muses as much as you guys do as well. we apologize if your cc request was not answered within 3-4 hours. remember admin teams will be online at some point in the day and often times will be in different timezones than your own. so be realistic and give admin teams 24-48 hours to respond to your message. admins are not slacking just because they want a moment to focus on themselves.

lastly, i realized rather quickly that this community does not like to follow or read rules almost at all. regardless of how we spin it 80% of the community skims through the rule page we work hard on creating to get the password for the application. how do i know yall dont read rules? because some of the shit being complained about on these blogs are things that have been blatantly stated in the rules that you guys have agreed to! dont join a roleplay if you dont agree with it's rules. simple. "admins are asking me to handle it myself." most rps open right now say in the rules that they will ask you to do that before coming to them. "this age gap rule is rediculous." most roleplays have these rules clear on their rule page. "well i didn't know you couldn't do that." yes you did, you agreed to the rules of the roleplay when you joined. don't act shocked or upset when we enforce the rules. and if you claim rules are hard to understand or need clarification, it takes nothing but 2 seconds to ask admins for clarification on a rule.

so yes, after dealing with these issues and more, seeing vent posts about our roleplays sometimes is the perfect cherry on top to call it a day and close the community. think of it as "why would we continue to put all this effort in if people are obviously unhappy with our work?". we work hard to manage things the best we can but we are only human and our judgements sometimes fail us. and getting critiqued is 100% okay but some of you guys on here write things so maliciously... i wonder if the admins had personally victimized you with the way yall write on here. rp is a hobby and at the end if the day if the honby is causing you more stress than happiness.. close/ leave your roleplay.

— tired ex admin.

・❥・

[snekdood]

thinkin about a post i saw earlier of someone saying they get really weak when they go vegan... my friend, you are doing everything wrong if that's the case. aside from whatever health issues you may have that prevents you (i've yet to actually hear of any specific health issues that prevent someone from going vegan, maybe being allergic to legumes and soy? or an allergy to nuts etc.? otherwise... i remain kinda skeptical when someone says this, I often feel like ppl say this so they dont have to keep thinking about it), there's lot of things to consider when going vegan and its really important to talk to a nutritionist if you can before you do it.

some things to consider:

you will need to find a source of iron. theres plenty of veggies when eaten in high enough quantities that will provide iron (spinach, an obv choice). it's also wild to assume that you're supposed to get iron from ONE source of food, ideally you eat multiple things throughout the day that have an ok amount of iron that when added up over the day = the daily value you need, you dont need one big block of iron rich food to get all of your iron (and this goes for all food honestly, no reason you need to get all of your nutrients from one food per se. I dont think convenience should ever really be favored over whats ethical)

you'll need a source of omega vitamins. typically this can be found in seaweed, seeds or nuts, but ultimately it might be easier to just buy some supplements (if ur like me and dont like eating nuts a lot :/)

you'll need a way to get vitamin K2, I trust that you're able to do your own research enough to know where to find it, for now I'll tell you it can easily be obtained from saurkraut, natto, kimchi, and dandelions

there are multiple types of protein. this is probably whats tripping you up if you've already covered everything else. these proteins, or more specifically amino acids, are: histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine. you will need to eat complete proteins that have all of these covered, which is why often people tell you to pair rice with beans since together they are a complete protein. there used to be a website I knew of that listed the different sources of each amino acid, but if you're up to it (im not rn) id suggest looking each amino acid up and finding what food sources have them in it, you'll likely find that multiple amino acids are in one food and that another food has the rest of the amino acids- combined they make a complete protein. oh and also there are some protein powders out there that have all of the amino acids you need, so i'd suggest searching those out (make sure to look at the nutrition info, I used garden of life protein powder) bc you can easily dump that in a smoothie and there ya go.

the problem with going vegan isn't not getting enough nutrients typically, it's that it can be very hard and costly to buy everything you need. it's likely not that you CANT go vegan (unless you have specific allergies or something) just that you were never taught the best way on how to. it all boils down to nutrition, and if you're able to get all these nutrients locked down and be consistent about eating all the nutrients you need, you'll likely not have any issues being vegan, if you do that's something to bring up to a nutritionist, because vegan diets are healthy insofar as you can get all the nutrients you need, and some of us are too poor to consistently be able to buy all these different things. in that case, i'd suggest being a "reducetarian" (thats basically what I am, i'm vegan philosophically and would be more vegan if I had the cash...), rely on vegan alternatives but eat eggs or something here n there if necessary. what I do know is most people dont need to eat meat consistently every day and distrust anyone who tells you otherwise, quite frankly. eating it 2-3 times a week is sufficient from what I've read.

[dandunn]

Fic author interview tagged by @vampirenaomi

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

42

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

728,089

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fic that annoys me so much I disabled comments (go find it yourself lmao), Marked for Death, Tiger by the Tail, What's coming through is Alive, The Sea is Getting Rough Again

my one piece fics all have way more kudos than my recent stuff basically

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do sometimes, im usually tired from writing and editing so sometimes ill just say thanks lol

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i wrote a fic anonymously which is horrendously dark and doesnt have a happy ending but I think most other fics i write at least have a bittersweet or happy ending hdfgb

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhh i dunno man I like the ending of the fic i wrote where goemon threatens to cut one of jigen's exes' dicks off and then they go hang out by the pool. that was fun :)

7. Do you write crossovers?

not really, I've had a few ideas for them but they're hard to write and wouldnt have worked out

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not... really? i got a really weird backhanded compliment where someone talked at length about a ship i dont like (the fic wasnt about that couple) then said the first chapter was alright apart from being painfully slow (thanks) and then accused me of virtue signalling because of the difficult topics i handled in the fic.

It was really, really strange like I genuinely think they were trying to pay me a compliment but they were incredibly shit at it lol

And then in another fic I turned off comments because a minor started bitching at me about the porn I wrote not being sexy enough and when I told them to go away they harassed me for a little while. That was fun.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeas. I prefer it when smut is incorporated into the story because I kind of need the emotional stakes to be high enough otherwise I kind of lose interest. Smut without feelings is just kinda boring to me. Of course I have some exceptions but those are rare nowadays.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, though it's on wattpad apparently so I have no idea if the person doing it credited me because I dont use that site lol.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah and I dont recommend it. we only wrote like 2 chapters of it but i no longer speak to the co-author and the whole thing ended up feeling a bit disjointed and weird.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Uhh I have a couple, zoro/luffy, ace/sanji, jigen/lupin and jigen/goemon

zolu probably wins here because i have not so far written a 200k fic about anyone else lol

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*gestures weakly at literally everything in my google docs*

I forgot how to write sorry

15. What are your writing strengths?

*tv static noise*

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

i cant speak english

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't know whether its bad or just handled badly by a lot of writers but I don't like it. Speaking as someone whos been learning japanese for the past 2+ years I hate it when I come across a word and have to either look it up myself or scroll to the bottom of the fic for any footnotes there are to explain it. Gonna use myself as an example for how I go about this kind of thing:

Fujiko tries to smile at his robotic, overly formal speech patterns, when really it's a little off-putting. She hasn't heard anyone use the word sessha, 'my humble self', for themselves outside of a period drama.

each to their own but i prefer putting in a small aside like this rather than shoving in foreign words and expecting for the reader to go and break the flow of the writing by looking it up for themselves.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

id say pokemon mystery dungeon but the first fic i wrote i instantly deleted after getting one negative comment, i think one piece is more where i cut my teeth

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i dont really know? ive gotten into a couple of new things recently but they havent triggered my "oh i gotta write something" reaction

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i dunno man i dont like my work very much right now heres an image if u read all of this

[calowlmitygoddess]

Ill fill the writing meme because i love talking about myself lmao

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? Standart arial, and don't care, tought i tried the comic sans trick a few times

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil? Probably not, my handwriting is terrible, actually unreadable to anyone but myself. Ive used to write on papper back in highschool when i had to write basicly everyday, now i havent touched a pen in ages.

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? No standart ritual aside from needing music, anything else distracts me. The two songs i listened the most while writing is Respite on the Spitafields by ghost and Sacred Worlds by Blind Guardian

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral? Can't think of any rn :^

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? I dont think i have any

6. What is your darkest fear about writing? That it all will be meaningless/no one will read what i do

7. What is your deepest joy about writing? Doing Something TM the whole, creation aspect

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go? No dialogue, just write a piece of someone going trought their day, ive wrote a small exercise a while back that fit this.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know No. Unless i hear a Noise TM then they are very real

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you? All my unfinished things haunt me daily. So much promise and so far nothing real. I had to write a thing to help let go of their ghosts

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? Only when it fits the narrative. I dont like killing characters whitout a major reason, usually thematic, otherwise it feels cheap.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules. Have the skill needed to make my Big Project reality, Have it reach some form of Good greater recognition/popularity, the last one i would keep for later.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy? Hard topics in general, big issues, relationships in any realistic way.

Literally just characters vibing, introspection, Over the top stuff.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back? No one ever asked for a book to me but id have no problem doing so. Im the one people shouldnt ever lend any books because i am very careless and would likely end up dropping coffee or something accidentally on it

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends? I dont write in margins, but i did dog eared books in the past, and i use the jacket(?) of the book to mark my pages.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark? fuckenn... i dont remember tbh, again i use the jacket.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text. I have a post with a bunch of lore about the dragon species, i cant find it tought. But they are mammals that lay eggs, have no gender, their society mostly resemble that of bees, they have no currency, and the watsonian reason the main character goes by gendered terms despite not having one is because she thinks the words sound nice

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. I dont think theres any passages that have interesting enough backstories.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going? My dream since childhood was to write a book, ive always liked to tell stories, read and such, i would dictate stories that my mom would write down before i learnt how to do so. But then i got really into drawing and started to foucus more on that, and ended up shifting the foucus from writing text to comic making since every artist with ocs does that. I also changed foucus on projects faster than light, so i would write 2 chapters and give up the next day, or change the entire story the next week and such.

I stuck with comics as my goal for like the past 6 years, and only early this year i came to the conclusion that i really hate the comic making part of making comics, and that i like writting much better. Im very rusty+ the fact im not as avid reader as i used to, and the quality is not really good, but im having fun.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Wip, finish the wip, thats all i wanted since i was 10, what even is the point of this question.

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not? I just started writting 'seriously' so i dont want to quit just yet. Also i have a massive undeserved ego, i dont think even the most discouraging,awful negative review could make me quit doing it.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud? I have one google doc, with outline+ chapters as i write them, i used to have different docs for lore/outline/chapters but its easier this wau

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

In the inn i stay during the week and my actual room in my house are essentially the same place, Is my room, its messy and damp but its confy enough. My table is turned to the small window and during the morning the sun hist right in my face. The table is equally messy, with cups and glasses over it, pappers stained with coffee and tea cover its surface. My one company, a small succulent that rests near the window, and a carved small owl that i need to constantly clean because its constantly molding due to the dampness.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it? Idk what kind of prep work you would do. I just sit and write mate.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? Godamn i cant think of any rn. Most of my Extremely well developed characters are from my BIg Story, but it literally doesnt exist anywhere outside my head yet, so idk what is and isnt relevant to it. For my current wip is a little harder since the characters are like less than a year old. idk...Orick looks like a cat person, i think he would like to own a cat.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place? I go "what would a person in this situation with this background do" and try my best to guess.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why? Any character thats like a stategist or planner, because its hard to make them look smart without making it look like bullshit or predicting the future

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why? Meira. Her narration came very easy to me, guilt ridden but still professional and calm, also Big Gay.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry? I was never a very original kid, im a vampire that sucks the soul out of other things to fuel my own. My current Wip main characters are based out of HK characters they resemble nothing of. Im always on the prowl for new media to steal from be inspired by

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

Sort of. I've dreamed with plots before, and i usually do my best to remember, but while at the moment i wake up feeling like that was the best idea in the world, after a while when i think about it again, its just sort of nonsense

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

Literally Thank you to anyone who ever gave me the time of day. Im still a little haunted by those i dissapointed by never fininishing stuff but the fact that yall liked enough to make me feel guilty for giving up is also good in a way <3

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

'sometimes a dream is enough' - the last line from one of my favourite books. In context it drives me insane, it makes me rabid. But out of context its just neat

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate? Im a Drawer! also tried sculpting in the past. And YES, my current dream is to have an illustrated novel.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go: No idea what an oxford comma is and at this point im too afraid to ask

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens? POV character being the protagonist, i just found it such a neat concept. Also the protagonist needing to be a Good Moral Character.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know? Dinossaurs, i wanna write a story about dinossaurs one day...

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you? Gay. Also very into dragons

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us? I dont have any Weird habits i think? I can only imagine some kind of complain about how their current food sucks.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up? Not to be dark in the funny meme but giving up would literally remove one of the things that give my life some form of meaning

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

idk how to write poems sorry

[spikeinthepunch]

i have no plans to talk about the Emotional side of this, but the many weeks i have spent with a neuropsych trying to pin down the specifics of my cognitive issues has certainly been interesting, and im gonna detail that below. its made me really realize that alongside my issues, that there is so little understanding in society about the extent of "learning disabilities". even everyone here, every person who sits with the ADHD and autism labels and knows its probably part of their learning issues- the fact that there is probably so much more to it than you can even realize. and most people wont ever have the knowledge of depth to see that, or the proof of tests to see that.

i deeply wish getting this kind of testing but its insanely expensive. like, way WAY expensive. and its super important to get a good doctor for this (any Californians, i would gladly name the guy i am seeing!) but its not accessible at all (this series of tests take like, 6+ weeks but more for me bc i am more than just Learning tests. i am on week 10), which is obviously the main problem. hardly anyone i know will be able to get with kind of depth on Why they struggle. i am in a very privileged position to get to do this. its not bad to sit with labels like ADHD, or just know about your diagnosis of Autism (your Autism wont go away with this. you still have it. you'll just see the specifics, the stems to your problems) is what makes you struggle. this isnt a means to shame people or to say you have to do this in order to get better or get help.

but for me and i assume others, i havent been able to get the right accommodations for anything. society will never try to understand anyone cognitive abilities further and they NEED to make this shit more availble. I tried many things but none of them worked for me, but i also dont know WHY they dont work for me. putting aside the emotional struggles i am also doing in these tests (there is Cognitive testing and Emotional testing- which also makes things more pricey), i have been really really wanting to learn. just Things. it is all i want but I cannot, and the future feels impossible due to that. I try so hard to learn but nothing happens. i want to code, i want to 3D model, i was to up my drawing game, etc etc- even if i went for my assumed "easy" choice (simply production in entertainment) i still struggle to keep it in my head. it always feel like laziness, to sit down at try and then it doesnt stick, and that just makes you feel worse. Still i'd go and learn 3D modelling consistently for a week, but quite literally the moment i looked away from the donut tutorial, i couldnt do it. genuinely everything was lost from my brain. id redo it, i would do the donut tutorial again, but then thats all i could do.

learning with coding is no different, but i try to try very hard because i feel like i know it all "in theory", i look at stuff and i kinda can see what it all means. but right now as i try to learn Narrat, i am very actively seeing how the results of these tests are spelling out the problem. i sit down and look at documents but i cannot take in the reading material, but i see images and i get it kind of so i try- i look at someone else's game for some help but i dont totally know it. but i ask for help in the discord a LOT because i cannot process the documents they hand me, i cannot peice together what the documents say in order to solve the error i got, and only kind of get it when i connect an image of the code to what im doing, but there arent many pictures of what i need step by step and i get stuck again.

so many little things-- things that i cant really add up to just being ADHD- at the very least no one knows how to accommodate to my specifics anyways so i never get it solved. the autism may explain some things but it doesnt explain it all. I can't count change even on my fingers, i cant add things up on paper and i forgot how to multiply and divide. i forget things when theyre not in front of me, nothing i read stays in my head, nor does anything i listen to. i may work fast, i may process movement and things presented surprisingly well, but those four things (math, memory, listening comp, reading comp) are key things to learning that are SO awful it explains every reason i have been this way. i take it in quick, but it goes away in the blink of an eye.

i dont have ADHD by the way- it was one of those labels slapped on for years because "well your memory is bad, and so is your attention, and you have a hard time learning". and i dont disagree exactly, if i hadnt done this i would have been going along w my life with that label and it would have been fine- aside from the fact none of the ADHD meds i have taken over the years have never work, of course. or the fact i still wouldnt really know how to learn things because i dont have accommodations that actually help me make progress. i think i would still be sitting around stuck, thinking i am just stupid and there is no way around it.

point is- there is a lot under the surface. there are a collection of things that explain parts of your cognitive function and they all work on their own. and because i know this now, i can get very specific help. i can properly understand why certain accommodations in the past didnt work, what will work, and what i can do to actually try and Learn Shit. going through years of utterly sucking at everything in school is awful, it really knocks you down. Especially when you want to learn, you feel like you are trying so hard.

for more recent years i have sat here just thinking i couldnt do anything. watching family make progress as they age and feeling unable to do that too feels like shit and i hate the idea of never being able to put anything out there. i am in a place where i can live just fine without any job really, but i dont want to do that? i dont want to do nothing- even if it weren't a job, why would i want to sit around doing the one think i know- draw- and never be able to do anything else? id like it as a job but even outside of that i just want to know things like anyone else.

the fact that i feel far more hopeful than ever before is really a nice feeling. for a while it was a kind of motivation that was more like fighting a brick wall to proceed because even though i wanted something to change, i had no idea how it could. this isnt a clear "ok go do A and B and youll learn!". this will still be a long time of build. it will be a process as it would be for anything with learning and i still get overwhelmed by the prospect too, its still terrifying because i still wonder if it will really work out. but goddamn i do not feel like these many weeks of testing have been a waste- i really do understand far more than ever. its kind of sad to see, to have gone for so long without help, but id rather know it now than to never know and to always feel helpless and stupid.

[hqmillioncorn]

heal up the world,

I cant let anyone else get involved its my fault that mom and dad even found babycorn if i hadnt talked with mom so much when i meet her again none of this would have happened! How could I have been so stupid? I have to find her i have to (Excerpt from Butter's personal Diary)

Lalapril 4/8: Soul with @windupnamazu's Butter.

Butter has a mysterious visitor in the middle of the night

It had been about a month now since Butter’s parents had come back into his life and it had been almost more than a week since they disappeared off the face of the world, taking Babycorn with them.

His mother had pretty much told them to their faces everything that she planned to do. The one thing she wanted most in the world was to go home, to her real family, the place she actually belonged.

Obviously it didn’t matter who she hurt along the way. That was what worried Butter the most.

The way both his parents had casually just tossed him and Pancake aside. All those years they spent waiting for them to come back, had they just been wasting their time?

Waiting for someone that didn’t even want them? Where did they even belong now?

Not only that, they were putting Babycorn in grave danger.

Once Butter had found out from Tilika that whatever his parents planned to do could end up killing Babycorn, he had gone and put everything he could into finding her.

There was a point where Butter had convinced himself that this was something he needed to take care of on his own. While he did think this, it wasn’t stopping anyone else from looking alongside him.

Lunya in particular was worried about him but Butter assured her that he was doing fine, despite everything. The only thing that mattered was finding his parents and stopping them.

Today and yesterday were particularly hard days. Butter hadn’t slept since the day before, because there had been a tip that came in from Coerthas. He traveled all the way there to investigate himself.

Though, the furthest he got was entering Gridania. As it turned out Lunya was way ahead of him. ‘No you don't! We can take care of this! You go and get some rest!’ She urged him. Lunya assured him that she and Tsuna were going to search for any signs of his parents in Coerthas. ‘I know it’ll be hard but just try your best. If I let you pass out like that-Pancake would have my head!!’

Butter knew Lunya only wanted the best for him but resting was easier said than done. At this point he had been lying down on the bed of inside his inn room for what felt like hours. He didn’t know what time it was, the only thing he knew was that it was nighttime.

Butter sighed and sat up, he grabbed his sword and walked over to open the door to his room.

If he couldn’t get to sleep then maybe a walk would help him clear his head.

There was something about Gridania at night that felt oddly calming.

There weren’t too many people out and given just how much Butter had been running around crowds lately it was a nice change of pace. That wasn’t stopping him from looking around more than usual, for any sign that either his parents or Babycorn had been here.

Butter stopped in front of Apkallu falls. There was something strange about it that Butter couldn’t quite place. It looked like there was someone standing in front of him. Someone who looked like they were almost see-through.

He rubbed his eyes. Could he have been more tired than he thought?

“Hey. Who’s there?”

As Butter walked closer he could feel heart beginning to race. The mysterious figure in front of him turned to look at him, so he must have got their attention. At least, that’s what it looked like.

The closer that Butter walked closer to the figure, the more clearly he could see them.

Until…

Butter froze. A chill traveled up his spine.

“Babycorn…”

It was definitely her. Plain as day.

Babycorn’s hair was down and she was wearing a plain white dress. It almost looked like she was glowing but that couldn’t be possible. Butter was too stunned to speak, to do anything.

Babycorn walked closer and closer to Butter until she was standing right in front of him. Her eyes widened as she smiled wide, “Butts!” There was a slight crack to her voice. As if she was holding something back.

At the sound of Babycorn’s voice, Butter was able to finally gather his thoughts. “Babycorn! Did you escape?! How did you-?! Where were you?!” Butter tried to reach out and embrace her in a tight hug, only to find himself going right through her.

Almost like she was nothing more than thin air.

Butter looked down at his hands and then back at Babycorn. “What are you doing?” He was almost scared to hear the answer.

“I’m just projecting myself to you!” Babycorn waved her hand, “It’s a neato little trick I figured out!” Honestly it felt like she was discovering new things she could do almost every other week. “I already visited Cherrypit so I wanted to see you next! Sorry if I scared you.”

“No that’s okay…” Butter was still trying to wrap his head around what Babycorn had said.

It was clear to him that Babycorn had seen better days. There were dark circles under her eyes that no doubt matched his own. He had no idea what was happening to her but he knew he needed to find his parents and put a stop to it. “Babycorn, can you tell me where my parents are hiding? So we can come help you!”

Babycorn’s smile slowly faded, though not for long. Her smile was strained and her movements were very easily betraying the facade she was trying to put on. “I…can’t tell you. Because I have no idea.” Babycorn explained that all she knew about where she was being held captive was that it was dark and she could see small plants growing from the ground.

That could honestly be anywhere.

Butter looked absolutely dejected. This was probably their best shot so far and to see it crash and burn so easily was absolutely agonizing. ���I’m sorry…” Butter said, trying not to break down in front of her. He didn’t want her to lose hope. Just like he was slowly starting to.

“It’s okay!” Babycorn tried to place her hand over Butter’s shoulder. Butter could see the exhaustion in her eyes. “I know you and everyone are gonna come and help me really soon! So I’m not too scared!”

Butter also couldn’t help but notice that Babycorn’s ears were pointed more downward than they usually were.

“It was easier to talk with Cherry before but I don’t have a lot of time right now so I stopped time for an itty bitty so we can talk more!”

Her voice also sounded a lot more tired than usual. He had heard her sound like this before, back when she first woke up in Old Sharlayan. But that was then and this was now.

Wait.

“The…You…WHAT?!”

Butter looked all around them. Everything still looked the same but now that he looked closer he could notice a few leaves floating in mid-air and in a pond about eight fulms away a duck was sitting almost perfectly still. Butter looked back at Babycorn and twirled a piece of his solid hair between his fingers. He giggled, trying to cover his embarrassment with his other hand. “Wow…You really stopped time for me…” He was beyond flattered.

“Oh course!” Babycorn brought her hands together, her face had a slight tint of pink. “I think I only had enough energy to talk with Cherry but I really wanted to talk to you so I had to find a way to do it…”

Butter was shocked out of his yearning at what Babycorn had just said. “Wait-?! Energy?! Babycorn don’t tell me…” Now that he looked at her more closely Butter could tell that something wasn’t right with her. It almost felt like Babycorn was flickering in and out of existence.

“You…” Butter didn’t even want to say it. “You aren’t using your powers to do this are you?”

Babycorn laughed and stuck her tongue out. “Ha ha! Guiltyyyy~!”

“Babycorn! You shouldn’t-! You can’t-!” Butter didn’t know Babycorn could do this and at this point he didn’t care.

If what Tilika said in her letter was true then the more Babycorn used her powers the more she was at risk of being killed. “Isn’t it dangerous for you to do this?! I don’t want you to…to…”

“Butts don’t worry it's okay!” Babycorn tried to wave his very valid concerns aside but judging from his face it was clear she wasn’t doing a very good job. “I promise I’m okay! It’s like I told Cherry once-stopping the flow of time is…” Babycorn paused, it looked like her eyes were following something Butter couldn’t see. “…it’s easy.”

“What are you talking about?!” Butter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Nothing about what Babycorn was doing looked or sounded easy to him. The whole world around them was stopped in its tracks. Somehow Babycorn had just plucked both of them out of time’s continuing flow and Butter was just supposed to think that was easy?!

“Easy!” Babycorn grinned from ear to ear, posing with two fingers close to her eye. “I promise! I’m doing okay! I wouldn’t be talking to you right now if I wasn’t! Your mom and dad made me use my powers earlier yeah but…they’re doing something else right now so I get a break! Hehe!”

Butter didn’t know what to say. There was a part of him that just wanted to apologize for everything. Another wanted to yell at his parents for what they were doing, not that either would do any good now.

“I actually wanted to come and ask you something.”

“Huh?”

There was a bright green glow coming off from Babycorn, then out from her hands a familiar necklace appeared. Butter recognized it immediately.

“I promise this won’t take long! I’ll let you go in a second!” Babycorn laughed.

Butter desperately wanted to tell her that he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could.

Babycorn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. With a slight movement of her hand, something that Butter could only describe as some sort of crystal window manifested in front of them. “Woah…” There was something about it that grabbed his attention, he could see his own reflection in it but there was something off about it.

He didn’t look like he expected to look.

“Groovy isn’t it?!” Babycorn’s voice was peepy and joyful, this was something she had been working on for a long time. She’d done things like this before but never on this large of a scale.

While Butter was busy looking at what she did, she quickly wiped some sweat from her forehead. As carefree as she was acting this was taking a toll on her, as much as she didn’t want to believe it.

Babycorn walked closer to the window and placed her hand on it. When she did, a ripple echoed through the entire thing as an image slowly faded into view. Butter could slowly make out more things besides himself. First he could recognize a bright blue sky, then the green grass below. Very soon, the home he grew up in was in clear view, alongside that he could see Pancake, Cinnamon and

his mom and dad.

“W-What…?” What was he even looking at?

Suddenly his reflection moved, without him doing anything. Butter took a step back in shock as he watched his own reflection run over to where his parents stood. Their mouths were moving but Butter couldn’t hear anything that was being said. He stared in silence as he watched what looked like his mom hug Pancake and then hug him.

“It’s a perfect world! A world where everything turns out right!” Babycorn grinned, “I had a lot of trouble making it so Cinnamon still existed but I managed it! Aren’t you proud?!”

Butter looked at Babycorn, her smile was somewhat unsettling. “Are you saying that-you made this?” For someone to make a whole other world…? Was something like that even possible?

“You betcha!” Babycorn stood proudly, raising a fist in her air. A gesture that was done very cutely by the way. Though as much as Babycorn was proud of herself she had to admit something first. “Well the truth is I haven’t made it yet. Right now it's sorta like the thing someone does before doing something…?” It had a name but it always slipped her mind. Mostly because she tended to never do it.

“Do you mean a plan?”

“Oh yeah! That’s it! It’s a plan!” Babycorn looked at Butter like he was the coolest guy in the world. “You’re way too smart Butts!”

Butter laughed just a little. “If you say so…”

“My plan…” Babycorn eyes shined a bright yellow, as the image in the mirror became clearer. “…I could rewrite the world. With Cherry’s help I could make a world where everything is better and you and Pancake are happy with your parents! Your mom wouldn’t be from another world and she would love you and want to stay here! Everything would be perfect!”

Butter didn’t like this.

“It would all be so much better! I think I did a great job!” Babycorn happily explained, with a wide smile on her face. All she wanted was for Butter to be happy, to be safe, and content. For completely normal reasons of course.

“Babycorn that’s…” He didn’t know what to say.

“Of course…I might not survive making the world.” Babycorn’s smile never wavered. “It might end up killing me. But that’s okay right?!”

Without even a second thought, Butter rushed up to Babycorn, grabbing her hands. Somehow he was able to hold them in his. Even Babycorn was surprised he had managed to do that.

Butter looked up at Babycorn with tears in his eyes. She was taken aback at just how angry he looked. This was not at all how she was expecting to react. “No! No! That’s not alright! What are you talking about?!” Butter cried out, “Don’t even joke about doing something like that!!” The image in the mirror started to fade out of reality.

“W-What are you talking about…?!” Babycorn raised her voice as high as she could, “Isn’t that what would make you happy?!”

“No! Not at all! I could never be happy in a world that didn’t have you in it!!”

The mirror started to crack.

“If you do this…If you do this…I…” Butter struggled to even understand why Babycorn would even consider doing this for him. “I…IF YOU DIE THEN…!!! I’LL JUST KILL MYSELF!!!”

“HUH?! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!”

The perfect world that Babycorn had created shattered into pieces. It had to, there’s no possible world out there where she wanted Butter to die himself. He couldn’t! He had to stay safe! There was no way she could live or die in a world without h-

Babycorn’s image flickered. She took her hands and held them up to her cheeks. “I…I’m sorry Butter! I didn’t think…” Tears were coming down her eyes. A leaf shook in the wind. “I thought I could solve it…I thought I could solve everything…” Babycorn fell to her knees and continued to apologize.

Butter wasted no time in kneeling right next to her. He was surprised when he found he could still touch her. “Babycorn it’s okay…! I didn’t mean to scare you but you scared me too…” He placed his hand on her’s. “I would never want my happiness to come at a cost to yours. No matter what.” He looked right at her, he needed Babycorn to understand this.

“…I’m sorry about your parents.” Babycorn whispered. “I think they’re stupid for wanting to leave.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’re going to find me right?”

Butter nodded. “I promise.”

The sound of the waterfall behind them began to get louder and louder. Butter found it harder to hold Babycorn’s hands.

“Butter…I just wanted you to be happy.”

Babycorn mouthed something to Butter but at this point there was no sound coming from her and then the very next second, she was gone.

As if she had never even been there in the first place. A small leaf landed on Butter’s empty hands as he stared at where Babycorn had been just a few seconds ago.

As time continued to move forward Butter stayed right where he was. If only for a minute or two, hoping that somehow Babycorn would come back. Someway, somehow. Butter waited for so long it wasn’t long until he had fallen fast asleep.

Babycorn tried her best to send Butter the nicest breeze she could.