#and fuck that guy tbh I died to him twice before deciding to try fighting in the gauntlet instead of the prison

[averagemrfox]

I finished act two last night and Selûne really said gay rights <3

[slyvester101]

I know this is another ask so soon lol but how do you think Wash's and Tucker's relationship would go if Tucker was in season 6? Tbh I already have my own interpretation that they are instant enemies, Wash's worst nightmare and it took the personification of a aqua sim trooper. Their stubbornness knows no bounds and it's worst when they met before having their character development. Someone has to hold Tucker back before he gets murdered by a trigger happy freelancer for not shutting tfu.

Ask away my fine fellow

I think if Tucker was with the reds and blues during season 6, there’d be a lot more roasting of Agent Washington. Church and Tucker bounce off of each other, sending rib after rib to anyone in the area, including the other. Which means that Wash has to deal with twice the amount of insults and bickering. It is easier to manage Caboose since Tucker was the one to keep an eye on him when Church left Blood Gulch first (because Church always leaves first) and he is much better at keeping Caboose on track than Church. 

While I do think Agent Washington dislikes Tucker when they meet, he also recognizes how smart and resourceful the guy is and sees the potential he has and how much he's holding back in order to be underestimated. It makes him wary. Additionally, I think Tucker’s flirting and care-free attitude reminds him a lot of York, so he has to deal with that while also trying to command a guy who reminds him of his dead friend. He tries to stay away from Tucker as much as possible. (It does not work, they fight all the damn time)

(They both consider murder many times)

Tucker is definitely more wary of Agent Washington as well and questions everything he commands and undermines his authority all the time. So basically Tucker being Tucker. Tucker would also be more grumpy about being on this mission since it took him away from his son (if Tucker was to join without completely breaking the timeline, I think it would make more sense for him to go to the desert temple after the whole epsilon and Meta showdown). He would also hold a personal vendetta against Wash since he would be there when Church dies and make that link to his best friend dying to Agent Washington, which means when they meet again, Tucker is down and ready to rip this guy apart.

All this would make Wash’s eventual addition to the team a bit more strained and awkward. Tucker is even more petty and even downright mean to Wash because of everything that happened and takes much longer to warm up to him. Wash takes it with the same amount of grace as always, trying to be diplomatic about it and be a good teammate (I don’t think Tucker would be as willing to call Wash “team leader” after everything that happened, so they decide to be something like co-leaders since Tucker is the highest-ranking soldier and a pretty good fighter in his own right and Wash has the most experience). 

They’re basically begrudging parents to Caboose by the time Carolina shows up. They bicker like an old married couple worthy of competing against Grimmons. (Tucker shows he’s finally warming up to him when he stops calling Wash various names like “agent fuckface” “agent friend killer” “agent team wiper” and starts calling him “Wash”)

While they go planet hopping with Carolina, Tucker learns about Wash and his time with freelancer and he realizes how absolutely fucked up he is (he knew he had issues, but holy shit). He’s a bit more willing to work with Wash, and to some extent Carolina, near the end and after their mission to kill the director. (That whole scene where Wash choses to protect Tucker from Carolina, choses blue team over freelancer, is the day Tucker finally accepts Wash as his friend.)

By the time they crash on Chorus, I think Tucker and Wash have really mellowed their relationship and have learned to rely on each other. They’re the dynamic duo, the one-two punch that leaves you reeling, a scary ass pair for anyone they face. Even after Church leaves again, Tucker and Wash don’t have that power dynamic of “anxious ex-specops authority figure” and “angsty asshole who hates following orders” since they’ve spent a lot of time learning how to work together as blue team leaders. Tucker is still angsty and Wash is still paranoid, but it’s more of a partnership than the mentorship we see Wash having with Tucker in the og show.

I think it makes their separation on Chorus even more heartbreaking for the both of them since they’ve gotten so close. They haven’t trusted someone like this in a long time, someone who’s so good at reading them and knowing when to give encouragement but also not afraid to call out your bullshit. It also makes their reunion so fucking awesome because they can finally let down their guard a little and trust someone else to pick up some of the load. 

I don’t know how it would change the course of the rest of the show since I’ve only watched up to season 12, but I think at that point it’s basically the same as it would be in the show.

[burgertaco6]

okay guys, its that time again on "what the hell are they yappin about". a day or so ago i got BG3!!!!! heres how it be goin i wake up to the most handsome looking entity of evil i have ever seen and HUMMINA HUMMINA

after that i made my character, shes a blue dragonborn as i highly dislike playing as human characters and big lizard funny, shes an offensive support druid storm proceeded to brutally kill off every single enemy she saw in lizard fashion and gave one of the local mindflayers the dragon rizz stare before falling to her death

the tutorial goes on yadayada fight kill thing find friends, i get ahold of crypt peepaw who i love alot bc he reminds me of my dad in a weird way, slay on peepaw

my and the posse help slaughter the goblins outside of the tiefling hideout where eventually we discover the druids, storms like "omg sick!! more druids" but their leader is a bitch, storm makes sure to call her that in a more wise way as she heavily dislikes her and her opinions about wanting to imprison a child (and yknow kaghas racism)

after finishing calling kagha a bitch we head to the doctor, where we're heavily confirmed about the leaders whereabouts AND that we're a ticking time bomb to turn into some hot powerful mindflayers (which tbh i wouldnt mind if i did)

off to the road we go!! along the road i camp for the first time due to running out of short rests and we're basically a rock throw away from death, storms trying to sleep when she gets the best vampire hickie in her life (and the first one), but that vampussy was too good and she died (had to use a revive scroll)

pale twink boy said sorry which i happily forgave him as having a vampire on the team is fucking awesome and now he has the bonus action to bite, which can count as attacking twice if he's sneaking around

with that as of right now, im currently in the goblin ruins trying to get volo out of jail, yesterday i stopped there since my game crashed and i decided i'd been playing long enough lol to help end this post, heres some very pretty pictures i managed too take of storm, i based her to look like a rainy cloud as from her electricity <3 shes got plasma in her eyes

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Life After Losing Him

Summary: Reader goes about their new daily life but soon runs into the best friend they had lost several months prior.

TW/CW: Platonic!Reader x Sam and Dean Winchester (mostly Dean tbh). Classmate bullying Reader. Should College Student Reader be a warning? Bc I feel like it should lmao. Lots of swearing. Dean does the silver blade test so a wound and blade are mentioned. I don’t think there’s anything else but lmk if I should add something.

Requested?: Yes, a lovely Anon said, “Hello love, your writing is really good and I love how active you are on your account it’s very impressive I could never 🥰 I would be so honored if you could do a platonic imagine for me??? I had in mind like Dean going to hell and coming back and being mad at Sam because he stopped hunting and maybe being mad at reader for moving on and going to college/not trying to help Sam? Idk if that makes any sense lol”

Word Count: 1,880

A/N: So, Dean isn’t as angry as I could’ve written him to be, I didn’t really include Sam much in this one, and it’s mostly Reader going about her day in her new life. If enough of you want it, I could write a second part where Dean and Reader get home and talk to Sam or whatever. I hope this is alright. I personally really like some bits of it but as a whole it feels off to me for some reason.

Your POV

    I grabbed the car keys off my side table before heading out my bedroom door with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I stopped in the kitchen to grab the lunch I had packed the previous evening and a thermos of coffee before heading out for another day of boring ass classes. When I enrolled at the local community college to major in folklore and mythology, I thought the classes would be more interesting and it would be a piece of cake but unfortunately, I got stuck with a boring professor who obviously didn’t even want to be teaching the class in the first place. I push the garage doors open before making my way over to the car. I open the door and drop down into the driver’s seat, set my thermos in the cupholder near my feet, and toss my backpack and lunchbox into the passenger seat. After closing the door, I sigh as I place my hands on the steering wheel, “Alright, Baby. Another day without him but I know you’ve still got my back.” I reach over and pat the dash before cranking the ignition and pulling out of the garage to head for school. The ride to school is quiet aside from the classic rock drifting softly through the speakers.  

    I manage to find a decent parking spot within walking distance of my class but have to mentally prepare myself before grabbing my coffee and backpack and stepping out of the car. I lock the doors, shut mine, and head towards class. On autopilot, I find the classroom that I need and take my usual seat near the front against a wall and turn my back to the wall as I always do. Aside from a few who like to get here early for the same reason I do, to get our favorite seats, the majority of the class hasn’t arrived yet so I pull out my notebook, pen, and coffee. I avoid all eye contact with the others in the room and label my notebook page for today’s lecture. For the most part, people around here seem to avoid me although I haven’t decided if it’s because I intimidate them or because they think I’m “one of those backwoods crazy people” or perhaps it’s both. Regardless, it suits me fine. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get a degree and do something useful with my new life. When he died, Sam and I both agreed to not try to find a way to bring him back and try to create a normal life. Every now and then, I secretly take a hunt but it’s usually nothing more than a basic salt and burn case. I did get a job at a local mechanic shop. They were practically begging me to take the job when I showed up for the interview in Baby.

    I’m pulled from my thoughts as a loud group of guys enter the room. I try to ignore them but as per usual their little pack leader wants to try to ruin my day. He calls out to me but thankfully before he can start something, the instructor enters and tells him to have a seat. I’ll have to give this instructor points for at least not putting up with any bullshit like that in his class. Anyway, the rest of the class joins shortly and takes their seats and, on the dot, as always, the instructor starts his lecture. A miserable hour and a half later I have several pages of notes, most of which are completely false from a hunter’s perspective, about topics I already know the truth about just so I know what the instructor will expect on the test. The instructor dismisses us so I pack away all my things and head back to the car to eat lunch before my next class.

    I’m about halfway back to the car, which is completely hidden by a huge, jacked up, 4x4 pickup truck, when the loud group of guys catches up to me and their leader calls out again, "Hey, nerd! Why don’t you stop for a second? I didn’t get a chance to take notes in class and I want to get pictures of yours.”

    I ignore him and keep my head down as I mumble under my breath, “yeah because you were sleeping,” and continue to the car. As I come around the back end of the pickup and approach the car, I slam into something, or rather someone, sturdy and nearly get knocked on my ass if it weren’t for the person catching me. Out of instinct I go to grab my dagger out of its sheath under my sleeve but the person grabs my hand, “Don’t pull that thing out here. It’s just me.” Hearing that voice causes pure shock mixed with a touch of suspicion to wash over me. I look up and into the face of my formerly, dearly departed best friend, Dean Winchester. However, before I can ask questions or even test to make sure it’s him, the small group of my classmates rounds the end of the pickup truck causing Dean to push me behind him in a protective way.  

    The pack leader grins mischievously, “Who’s this? You know this guy, nerd?”

    I roll my eyes but Dean speaks up for me, “I’m (Y/n)’s brother you little bitch. Now, fuck off and leave her alone.” In all honesty, Dean wasn’t biologically my brother but he and Sam have been the closest thing to having any siblings in general that I’ve ever gotten.  

    The pack leader looks around Dean at me, “This true?” I nod. He laughs, “Well, I don’t know which of you are driving this piece of junk but you should probably get with the times and stop driving this old rust bucket. Maybe you could upgrade to a nice truck like mine here,” he taunts patting the truck parked beside us.

    “Your attention seeking, overcompensating piece of shit on wheels could never handle the things this car has been through,” Dean argues, stepping forward. I grab his arm and tug in attempts to get him to back down, no luck.

    The guy scoffs, “Yeah right. I bet if your little friend behind you there hit a curb it’d tear this car to pieces.”

    Before Dean can get into a fist fight, I unlock the car door and shove him in before climbing in myself. Unfortunately, the asshole doesn’t get the hint that I’m leaving and leans back against Baby. I check the mirrors to make sure that I’m not going to run anyone over before driving forward out of my spot, mentally thanking whoever didn’t park there or had just pulled out of the spot in front of me, causing the pack leader to fall on his ass. I laugh to myself as I watch in the rearview mirror and then take off. I find a secluded spot on campus to park so that I can test Dean, figure out what the hell happened with him, and eat my lunch before my next class in four hours. When I put the car in park, and look over, he’s already rolled his sleeve up and has a silver blade ready for the test. He presses the blade into his arm right above another wound that looks fresh.  

    “I figure if Sam wanted all the tests done then you definitely will,” he grumbles before wrapping his arm having sufficiently proven he’s not allergic to the silver. I grab the bottle of holy water that I keep in my backpack and hand it to him. He takes a sip of it before handing it back to me. I nod in understanding before grabbing my lunchbox to eat.

    Once I’ve opened my sandwich, I take a bite, chew, and swallow before asking, “What happened this time?”

    “I don’t know, Sam’s working on that now,” he pauses, watching me, “I’d like to know what the hell happened to you.”

    “There it is again. You never call him Sam but that’s twice in just the past few minutes,” I muse, avoiding his question, “I guess you’re pissed at him because he stopped hunting?”

    “Yeah, and it seems to me like you did too so why don’t you answer my question?” he replies.

    I sigh, and toss my sandwich back onto the paper towel in my lap, “After we lost you, Sam and I agreed to not go looking for a way to bring you back and to start living a normal life. Granted, I always mentally thanked him for phrasing it that way because that meant if a way to bring you back fell into my lap then I could take the opportunity. Regardless, I got a job at a mechanic shop nearby and started classes here for a degree in folklore and mythology.”

    He scoffs and whips his head around to look out the windshield, “So you stopped hunting too. What the hell is wrong with you two?”

    “The two of us didn’t stop hunting. He did,” I snap back, “He doesn’t know it but I go on hunts every now and then when the apple pie life gets too boring.”

    “What about that asshole back there? Why do you let him bully you?” he asks, nodding his head toward where we had come from earlier.

    “He’s always trying to pick on me but I ignore him for the most part and keep my dagger in my sleeve just in case. The less attention I draw to myself the better.” I answer.

    “You’re really balancing all this? Like, you go to class and study for exams and shit but then every now and then you go hunting during the weekend?” he asks and I nod. “So, what about Sammy?”

    “He got a job, even been on a few dates but like I said, he stopped hunting, as far as I know anyway,” I respond. My phone dings before either of us could say anything else so I pick it up to check it and find that my instructor for my other class for today has sent out a message to cancel it for today. I toss the phone down onto the seat between us and stuff my sandwich and everything else I had pulled out back into my lunchbox before putting the car in drive and backing out of this spot.

    “What are you doing?” he questions, once again. I swear if he doesn’t knock it off with the questions, I’m going to roundhouse his ass.

    “Going home. My other class for today was cancelled,” I answer shortly.

    He’s quiet until we get to the campus entrance, “Can we- uh- Can we stop and get a burger on the way?” I nod as I laugh at him. This is probably going to be weird to adapt to but we’ll figure it out. The three of us always figure things out. Honestly, if this turns into something bigger, as it usually does, then wouldn’t mind quitting school. Turns out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and definitely not for me. I just hope Dean won’t sulk too long about how Sam and I handled life after losing him.

Masterlist

Taglist: @emiijemii @akshi8278 @deandaydreaming @castiels-majestic-wings​ @desimarie12​

[aloesarchives]

Gaolang Headcanons

(A/N):Sorry this took so long, I recently had a writer's block that made me really unmotivated to write. Another reason that it took so long was because I made the reader have a background that would’ve made it oc like, which I usually tend to stay away from. But after so pep talk with a friend and remembering this is my blog, I decided to say fuck it and write to self-indulge in my writing more and write this headcanon(what I mean is appearance is up to you but things like job occupation would be up to me. And also literally after eating ice cream, the thought of writing came back and here I am. Plus, who wouldn’t dream of being able to fight(doesn’t mean fighter) and kick ass in the Kengan series? If you said no, you lying.

(Edit July 1 2020 2:44am: Okay so Tumblr glitched again where my posts having been showing up on me blog and just disappeared from the search so I had to repost them again, I apologize for any inconveniences)

Word count:4257 words

But now, what many of you have been waiting for,

The Man, the myth, the legend himself,

Gaolang Fucking Daddy Wongsawat

I’ma write so much for this man you have no idea

Let’s gets two things out of the way first about this absolute unit of a man right here: Gaolang Wongsawat

First things first, Gaolang is literally a man of few words. He’s not mute, of course, it’s just he’s more of a man that speaks when spoken to. However, it doesn’t mean you start and carry every conversation the two of you have. Gaolang is always listening to you when you speak even though he’s not looking at you. He just gives you a short reply or answer when you ask him certain things, not a a tired or agitated response but more of them not pushing an agenda into the conversation unless needed so.

But when it’s just the two of you and a silent falls in between, it’s unsurprisingly serene and pleasant. Like the silence and energy that Gaolang gives off doesn’t make you uncomfortable or awkward, which is ideal when you both don’t want to talk because you’re either tired and lean on Gaolang, or when words aren’t needed in the moment and you silently enjoy each other company. He’s one of the few people to be able to not talk much and make the air not feel unbearable.

Second, Gaolang is a man of honor. With his status in Thailand and being the bodyguard of King Rama XII, Gaolang doesn’t use his status to prey on others/ those who are weaker than him. He deems that as cowardice and dishonorable so he doesn’t really want to cause trouble for King Rama and you.

Now with that out of the way, let’s got on it with this man, shall we?

TBH, you could’ve met Gaolang anywhere so it’s up in the air how you guys met.

The apartment is always clean and nice since Gaolang cleans up the place once or twice a week. You do you part around the house, of course, to keep it clean when Gaolang isn’t home, especially when he’s out for his boxing matches and championships for heavyweight. But Gaolang has a particular way of keeping the apartment clean and gets kinda of passive aggressive when something isn’t cleaned properly.

You two mostly split doing the chores in the house, like you vacuum and he does the dishes for the week and it would switch every other week. The only chore Gaolang just leaves solely up to you is the laundry. This is due to him not wanting to mess up any of your clothing when he’s washing them so you do both of your guys’s laundry. Plus, Gaolang doesn’t have that much of a diverse closet so washing his clothes isn’t much of a hassle.

Cooking wise, you mostly leave it up to Gaolang b/c face it, Gaolang is the better cook between the two of you, no offense mate. But Gaolang’s cooking smacks so hard you don’t eat out/get takeout anymore unless you’re craving some of that Thailand street food, which he doesn’t mind as long as it’s not frequent. But fam, why go out when Gaolang’s cooking is so good?

Domestic life with Gaolang is honestly lovely, holy shit. Like it’s pure bliss and wonderful. Usually it goes like this:

Every morning, Gaolang usually wakes up earlier than you which you don’t mind. He gets dress but doesn’t put on his dress shirt on until he has to leave for work. While you get ready for the day and freshen up, he already made coffee(if you drink it) and is cooking breakfast. When you’re done and walk out of the bed room, you already greet him good morning where you either hug him from behind or give him a good morning kiss( but the second one is always your go to). The tv is on in the background and you sip your drink as you watch what’s currently on. Gaolang calls out saying breakfast is ready and you two eat at the table. Once down, dishes are put into the sink and after a few minutes, Gaolang has to leave for work. He puts on his dress shirt, grabs his blazer, and while he’s tying his tie you’re at the door to bid him a good day at work. Once he’s finish and has put on his shoes on, you wish him a good day along with a kiss as you wave him off. Once you hear the door click, you knew it would be awhile until he comes back home. Your job allows you do work at home so you’re always in the apartment. Once done, you would clean the place, do the laundry, run a couple of errands, or relax. For lunch you have leftovers that Gaolang cooked the day before in the fridge. Afterwards, you do stuff to let the time pass whether it be productive or not. You know Gaolang is home by the clicking of the door and his voice saying “I’m home”. You give him a welcome back kiss and asked him about his day while holding onto his blazer to be later stemmed. He just said it was normal and nothing of the sort. However, there was one time he told you  fought someone who tried to claim he’s spot as his majesty’s bodyguard but by the look of things you can assume Gaolang won. While you put away his blazer, he ask you about your day which you reply with the usual that you say. Right away, you and Gaolang start making dinner for the evening. Gaolang is at the stove while you cut up the meat and vegetables and handing it to them when you’re done. Washing your hands, you set up the table and waited until he was done. Dinner mostly has minimal talking because it’s eating time but Gaolang will answer you if you ask him something. The aftermath of dinner is mostly compromise of cleaning the dishes, the table, counter tops, and putting away the left overs in the fridge. Then it’s off to the bedroom where the two of you get ready for bed. You always let Gaolang go first into the bathroom to do what need to do since he’s quick. Once done with both of your nightly routines, you two head off for bed. You always give him a good night kiss before sleeping and Gaolang has an arm around you as the two of you sleep.

There are very few times where you wake up first: when he gets the day off, just got back to Thailand from weeks abroad for championships and matches, or from a hefty training session. However, this is mostly uncommon to happen as Gaolang is a early bird.

Sleepwise, Gaolang doesn’t really snore. He’s a quiet sleeper, however, he leans in more of moderate- lighter sleeper where heavy stirring and noise can bring him out of sleep. But it does take some minimal effort to wake him up. Gaolang is the type of person to face away you the two of you would fall asleep but when you wake up his body is facing you and his arms are caging you in. I can see him also being the type of spouse to carry you into your bed if you fell asleep on the couch or while working, Gaolang is more than welcome to carry off to bed, hell he’ll tuck you in and give you a forehead kiss.

This man will HOLD you in your sleep, fucking on cloud 9, sis. And you never felt more safe and comfortable in your life.

Gaolang doesn’t talk a lot when eating, but again he won’t shy away when you’re talking/asking him something.

Straight up, Gaolang loves to watch those soap operas/Asian dramas, it’s sort of his guilty pleasure. When you found out about it, you didn’t really judge him for it because you actually liked the series he was watching. He was a little bit anxious when you didn’t say anything but relaxed when the only words you said to him was “Gao, scoot over this is getting interesting.” Like he’s motionless and his face barely contorts when the plot begins to thicken but you can tell he is enjoying the show.

It would be untrue if you didn’t at least have some encounter with Saw Paing. God, I can imagine as soon Gaolang leaves for work and you have the apartment to yourself, then the next thing you know there’s a Burmese man in his 30′s outside of your window and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs what seem to be your beloved names. Two thoughts are running through your head as you’re just staring on at this man: #1- Who the hell is this man and how does he know Gaolang? and #2- How in the hell was he able to climb up to you and Gaolang’s high rise apartment? After you let him in through one of your windows, the man was quite surprise because he hasn’t seen you before, or more rather in the apartment. He asked you who were you, when you said you’re Gaolang’s wife, he was shock and kind of ecstatic to know that Gaolang has gotten himself a spouse. The first thing you took note was his loud and constant yelling; however, when you’re talking to him in the apartment, he dies down his voice and doesn’t yell. He somehow manages to leave the apartment and miss Gaolang arrival from work. And when Gaolang comes home and asked about your day, he’s slightly intrigued when you said you made a new friend. As soon as you mention Saw Paing, you see Gaolang’s face slightly grimace as he let out an annoyed sigh. He apologizes for his behavior and for you not to say sorry for causing it. After he explains his history with Saw Paing, you now understand his reaction. Gaolang is kind of happy for you to be friends with Saw Paing because at least Saw Paing gets to hang out with you and not bother him whiles he’s trying to live his life with you. Surprisingly, when you became friends with Saw Paing, he won’t barge into your guys’s apartment or yell anymore, most of the time that is. But it’s all good with Saw Paing being and Gaolang doesn’t mind as long as he is minimal involvement in it.

Saw Paing is your buddy, fam. It’s bound to happen.

You do fight but it’s more on the side and a hobby you do. Unlike Gaolang, who does this as a profession, you do this as more for fitness and self defense. You’re not as powerful as Gaolang, but you can handle yourself enough where Gaolang doesn’t have to worry about you going out without him. The two of you spar and train together when given the time but during the small sparring Gaolang goes easy on you because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

King Rama every now and then would ask Gaolang about you. Rama is pretty much Gucci with Gaolang so it doesn’t really bug him. King Rama is one of the few people that knew about you being with Gaolang, so yeah. He was intrigued by the fact that Gaolang subtle mentions you the first time he asked him. Over time, Rama listen to his royal subject and bodyguard as Gaolang talks about you, he just wants Gaolang to spill the tea. Although it’s very hard for many people notice, King Rama notice a slight soften in Gaolang during those moments. The fact that you were able to make a dent in the stoic Thai God of War was more than enough for Rama to have a reason to meet you. He was curious on who you were to able to do that to Gaolang. Then queue the day you were invited by the King of Thailand himself to have a simple small meeting. You had no idea why the King wanted audience with you, but you knew you had to go b/c it would be rude if you didn’t.  You told Gaolang that you had to leave early to go somewhere and he thought nothing of it. You also didn’t tell Gaolang about it cause you assumed he knew about it. For some reason, King Rama keep things simple and asked you to walk around the palace’s garden, contrasting his extravagant behavior. Being the charismatic person he is, you’re not intimidated by him and answer his questions truthfully. After listening to your replies and responses, especially ones about Gaolang, he now understands why Gaolang took interest to you, you’re unique in the sense that you’re a blue diamond. Matchless, rare, and unlike any other, not in the way you shiny above everyone since you blended into the crowd, but once they have stumble upon and get to know you there’s no turning back from there. Just the imagine the shock on Gaolang’s face when he gets to work and sees you talking to his majesty. He was curious and a bit scared that you were talking to Rama but after a short exchange of laughter it disappeared. After you spotted Gaolang and the two of you walked towards him, Rama stated the two of you had a little chat and that you were heading on your way. Once Gaolang responded with a head nod, you bow to the King and wave bye to Gaolang as you go for the rest of the day. Soon as you’re out of sight, King Rama comments to Gaolang that you’re a hidden gem and told him to take good care of you. And Gaolang being Gaolang, smiles and fulfills his duties given by his king.

King Rama, low key, wants Gaolang to settle down because, I’m gonna be honest, he deserves it. Like Rama is vigile and gives Gaolang days off so he can spend time with you, this includes when Gaolang has boxing matches and championships too. He just wants Gaolang to slow down in life and spends his life with you without stress or worry.

King Rama implicitly ships you and Gaolang but you didn't hear it from me.

You definitely have run into King Rama during Gaolang’s boxing matches. Speaking of which, you always watch his matches. Whether it be at home or in the actually stadium. you make sure you were watching every single one of his fights. It’s enthralling to watch him fight, like his infamous Flash of 13 jabs is something that never cease to amaze you. Having won 4 heavyweight championship, you’ve never really doubted him and his abilities one bit. During one of his championship, King Rama was actually present and invited you to join him in the VIP lounge to watch Gaolang. The fight was intense but Gaolang came out victorious and won with a knock out. It was one of the most amazing things you have every seen as the crowd roared at the win and King Rama allowed Gaolang to take a 5 day rest as his fruitful victory.

There are times where you’re either at the entrance of the ring or inside the locker room to wish him luck. The most he’ll accept is a hug and a kiss on the cheek, that’s it. But he does flash you a smile before going out there.

Without a doubt, Gaolang is a very private person, except to you of course. Like Gaolang doesn’t reveal much of his home life to the public to keep the paparazzi away. He likes to keep the his work life and home life extremely separate. Your relationship with him and even your own existence is unknown to the public, THAT’S how private Gaolang is. And a little bit of help from King Rama as well.

Gaolang is not much of a confrontation man, but will confront and be straightforward with you when something is wrong with/bothering you.

He’s also is an observant person, you could tell by the way he analyzes opponents so he at least can read you and situations at home.

Due to this, he is very good a giving compliments. Not the super cheesy one, it’s usually the simple ones, and those are the one that get you all the time.

He has a chill personality, calm and collected, he’s not the type to jump the gun on assumptions. The man trusts you, fam.

It’s really hard to make Gaolang mad. He gets annoyed and aggravated, yeah, but it’ll never escalates to him being furious. Gaolang knows how to manage his emotions and has never really been irrational or lashed out before. The only time you ever saw Gaolang lose his composure was when he yelled at Saw Paing. And that moment, right there, was terrifying to you because you never seen Gaolang lash out before. So you do your best to not push his buttons too much.

Gaolang lets you do your own thing because he understands that you have your own life and do things on your own accord. Not much of a controlling person, far from you. But Gaolang doesn’t understand why you have a job when he makes a reasonable salary for the both of you to live off on. When you told him that you wanted to contribute to society and not rely on him for everything, and you also said you like to have save pocket money. Gaolang respects your answer and kinda likes that you take accountability for yourself.

Jealousy is something that Gaolang knows about and doesn’t really feel, but more rather avoid. Gaolang is comfortable in his own skin and abilities to know that you will not betray him and leave him for someone else. And it’s obvious when you’re not interested in anyone other than Gaolang and tell people off when they hit on you. But what really aggravates him is when the person can’t take a goddamn hint when you tell them off or deny any of their advances on you. Especially if it’s a scumbag of a guy. But Gaolang can’t be irrational due to him having a public image to uphold so he has to logical and clear minded. So Gaolang rational annoyance is rising in level, like his stare goes hard, his aura becomes daunting, anyone who’s near him fear like they would shit in their pants if they ever had to face Gaolang in such a state. You kept telling the guy that your husband/boyfriend wouldn’t be happy if he keep up his behavior with you. Then the man mocks about your lover and asks who is the lucky guy. Then queue my man Gaolang standing behind him and saying it was him and Gaolang was with you. After commenting that Gaolang was your boyfriend/lover, you were humored by the guy’s reaction. The man went pale, apologized to the Thai God of War and was out of sight from then. I don’t know who said it, but I think it was @bokutosbiceps​ (follow them, they have really good Kengan writing pieces.) that Gaolang goes into a state of grumpiness, which I can totally see. He be like this for what, like a week at max, and this is where everyone just stands clear of Gaolang and try to not get on his bad side. Like even Saw Paing doesn’t come over when he encountered Gaolang’s grumpiness, it’s that bad. Again, he knows that you won’t really leave him because he trust you won’t be that disloyal to him. But the only way to pull him out of that slump is excessive amount of words of affirmation from you and a simple promise that you’ll never leave him. But even after pulling him out of his grumpy pants state, Gaolang acts more of a bodyguard just in case a similar case happens again. If the person/people/guy tries their luck with you then it’s over for them and they will really die, literally Gaolang goes into Thai God of War mode and it ain’t pretty. But overtime, when incidents happen like that, his reaction is less elevated every time due to your unwavering loyalty to him. Jealousy is not foreign feeling to Gaolang but he tends to stay away from it as much as possible.

Seriously, imagine leaving Gaolang for someone else. Sis/fam not only are you a damn circus act, that’s a literal downgrade on so many levels. Like why? I’ll personally find you, smack your forehead, and lecture you why that was a bad move.

I mean, everyone does stay clear on bothering you in general. But after that incident where Gaolang reveal your relationship with him, then people really know to actually stay on your good side. You don’t use Gaolang’s status to abuse power, of course, to get your way with things. But you do make it clear that you’re with/married to him.

However, it’s safe to say that no one messes with you when your boyfriend/husband is literally the best Muay Thai fighter, undisputed heavyweight boxing champion, and bodyguard of the King of Thailand. They’re about of clowns that really want to be humiliated. I’ll also beat them up for you fam, i gotchu

One flaw Gaolang probably has is him having basic logic/common sense but he can be easily swayed and convinced on things he doesn’t have prior knowledge on. The man’s open up to new things, it’s more of him acting like a dumbass for a bit.

God, the horror of seeing Gaolang with wrong Japanese etiquette hurts your eyes and soul. You had to reteach him a lot on these types of things. He’s a little bit embarrassed but grateful that you’re have enough patience to teach him the proper etiquette.

POWER COUPLE OF THAILAND, I’LL FIGHT ANYONE THAT DISAGREES WITH ME. YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH THIS MAN, THAT’S FINAL.

I’ma tell you something sis so you better open them ears: Gaolang isn’t the type to have multiple flings or be in many relationship. He has better things to do with his time than waste on short term infatuation. So if he chooses you, that’s speaking VOLUMES.

In other words, if you’re the one, YOU ARE THE ONE! Like Gaolang could’ve been a playboy and have anyone in the world but the man chose you. YOU’RE THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE!!!!

Gaolang is not one to push things but he does have conversations with you that marriage and kids can be apart of the equation if you want.

Besides, who wouldn’t marry a man like Gaolang? You be missing out on so much.

Time with Gaolang is always productive no matter what since he knows how to use his time efficiently. You two go to the grocery store together and sometimes you divide and conquer in the store to save time. Being with Gaolang helps you manage your time effectively which helps you a lot.

Bruh, Gaolang’s hair is SOFT. You play with it when the two of you are laying down together and you can tell that he takes good care of his hair. Gaolang lets you do his hair, combing through it and add the bead at the end of his hair. He likes it when you do it.

I like to headcanon that the jewel on his forehead was a gift you gave him and every since you gave it to him he’s been wearing all day everyday.

Gaolang’s kisses are like angel feathers. They’re light and pure. He doesn’t really have any ulterior motive other than missing you on some work days. These are *chef kiss some of the most bless things you’ll ever have.

His hugs, fucking god send. Firm where you’re flush against him but not too tight. Gaolang’s hugs were just right. Those things make you feel safe, and all warm on the inside. There are some days where work is slow, where Gaolang just comes home and holds you in his arms while swaying back and forth. It helps him wine down and relax, transitioning into his home life with you. But hey, free hugs from Gaolang.

Another thing we need to talk about is his smile. I...god... seeing Gaolang smile is when you’ve achieved paradise. You do note that Gaolang doesn’t really smile that often. But if you ask him the right things, have a way with words and play your cards correctly, you can get him to smile and hell even a small chuckle out of him. And there’s no denying that you get butterflies in your stomach and feel warm, fuzzy, and so many positive emotions that you got to witness Gaolang smile.

His smile kills you, heart squeezes

Y’ALL can’t tell me that Gaolang’s smile right here gave you goose bumps or a shiver up your back. If you deny it, you’re lying to yourself, fam.

The man is CANONICALLY husband material, which mean the high possibility of him being a family man.

Literally best Husband, CHANGE MY MIND, I DARE YOU.

Gaolang is super soft to you, he is soft spoken to you, smiles more often around you, became more emotionally open, etc. He really does love and care about you, like a lot.

He is stoic teddy bear for you.

Thai Jesus, Done with everyone’s shit except yours and King Rama.

The most cursed images you have ever seen is that signature shocked express he has, it’s something you never really want ever.

Just living a good, satisfying, and tranquil life with Gaolang. A wholesome man of honor and loyalty, being with Gaolang is a goddamn dream you never want to wake up on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God this took way too long. Sorry for being gone for some time, I hit a writer’s block but it’s gone now. I finished on June 30th but stayed up until 12am to edit it. I’ma switch up the order and do Cosmo’s headcanon next. I’ll put the Gaolang oneshot on hold and actually finish my Chapter 2 for my series. This is my longest headcanon yet, and I’m tired.

Stay safe and beautiful, fam!

[smiting-finger]

HP AU Headcanons

I just noticed that I’ve hit 500 followers ( ?! omg you guys!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄), so I cleaned up and expanded on some of my HP AU headcanons from the AO3 comments section.

Things that happen before fic #1

During the War, Wei Wuxian has at least ten different balls in the air, trying to keep the innocent Wen children (+elderly) from Jin Guangshan, including:

The Stygian Tiger Seal,

Becoming an Animagus (which no one knows about, and tbh he was hoping for something more combat-useful than a bunny, but hey, at least he’s not a dog),

Inferi (so many dead bodies lying around, and their ex-inhabitants aren’t using them, so he may as well--)

ANIMAL Inferi (because a bitch cannot be picky when a bitch has no army), but he mostly abandons the idea after the first few battles because if you’re looking to enchant things to work as an army, it’s easier to enchant 1000 of the same shape of thing than to enchant 3 each of 257 different things with different shapes, sizes and capabilities

Booby-trapping the fuck out of Yiling with:

Various blood arrays (ranging from magical versions of “surprise!-now-you’re-in-a-net-hanging-out-of-a-tree” and “surprise!-you’ve-fallen-into-a-hidden-hole” to “surprise!-now-your-head-is-gone”)

A man-eating tomb inspired by Nie Huaisang’s ancestral tomb, possibly made possible by an ancestral blade that Wei Wuxian pilfered “borrowed” from said ancestral tomb,

A magical oubliette - key to the storyline! 

He was intending to stash the Stygian Tiger Seal in here to stop Jin Guangshan getting at it, because Jin Guangshan would either:

Fail to get in

Get in but fail to get out

Wei Wuxian either stocks the oubliette with necessities-for-life, or leaves enough loopholes in the spellwork so that anyone trapped in there would be able to access necessities-for-life (despite not being able to magic themselves out) because: 1) What if someone accidentally falls in, and 2) Although he’d be okay with Jin Guangshan dying, in the ideal outcome of his grand plan, they need him alive for Wizengamot trials, etc.

The plan is perfect, except that Jin Guangshan catches him in the act of stashing the seal, and in the ensuing struggle, Wei Wuxian gets himself (and the seal, thankfully) trapped.

(So he gives himself a pat on the back for making the oubliette liveable - “Thanks, past-me.”)

During the ten years, Wei Wuxian works on the magical equivalent of digging a hole out of a stone prison with a single spoon (slowly working on loosening various parts of his containment spells or trying to find a way to send a message to the outside world via his food-and-air loopholes), and also works on some other hobby projects in his spare time because the going is slow. To his credit, he’s actually almost got it by the time Nie Huaisang stumbles on his notes and gets him out.

In the meantime, Jin Guangshan has died, and Jin Guangyao has taken over his father’s:

position as Minister of Magic;

search for the Stygian Tiger seal.

Either because he’s looking for the Stygian Tiger seal, or because he’s noticed Nie Huaisang skirting a little too close to the truth behind his brother’s death and is following him, he stumbles upon Nie Huaisang freeing Wei Wuxian.

[Insert duelling]

Wei Wuxian gets wounded by a curse, turns into a rabbit when Jin Guangyao isn’t looking, flees into the forest and ends up at Gusu.

He never plans to try to cross the ward perimeter, but then he gets noticed by the dog...

Things that happen during fic #1

Once in Gusu, Wei Wuxian’s plan is to recover from the curse and then go back to have it out with Jin Guangyao.

His initial reason for not doing a “surprise!” reveal to Lan Wangji is that he’s not actually clear on what LWJ’s opinion of him as Yiling Patriarch is - i.e. what if it gets him turned in to the Ministry, the tender mercies of Jin Guangyao and a Wizengamot that’s Jin-controlled and/or already decided that Wei Wuxian is guilty?

(Lan Wangji blames himself for this: “a boy who would not accept his help because Lan Zhan failed to clearly tell him what he was offering.”)

His reasons for still not doing a “surprise!” reveal to Lan Wangji after 1) spending time with him, 2) spending time with the WWX-shaped hole in his life and 3) finally Getting It are that:

He also Gets that everyone and their dog (lul) already Get That, too

Jin Guangyao knows Wei Wuxian is at large, which therefore makes Lan Wangji suspect numero uno on the list of People Who Would Hide Wei Wuxian

(Wei Wuxian is proven 100% in the right regarding this when Jin Guangyao comes knocking for control over the Academy and Lan Wangji acts in precisely the way he does)

If Wei Wuxian is caught, he can at least keep Lan Wangji safe if Veritaserum shows that he actually knew nothing

He does, however, secretly change back at least twice to:

Talk to Lan Wangji while he’s asleep;

Break out of Lan Wangji’s rooms to go roaming around the school.

As soon as Wei Wuxian is recovered, he goes off to fight Jin Guangyao on his turf (before Jin Guangyao can come back to Gusu and try again). 

Unfortunately, this coincides precisely with Jin Guangyao coming back to Gusu and trying again - they out-manoeuvre each other and each ends up at the other’s base.

Wei Wuxian is the first one to realise what’s happened and rushes back.

Being unconscious, Lan Wangji misses out on:

Nie Huaisang bringing out his vast stores of proof in re: the Jin machinations behind his brother’s death (and incidentally, his discovery of Wei Wuxian)

Jin Guangyao being bound and arrested by non-corrupt Aurors in front of Lan Xichen, the previously-Imperius-ed Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, the retrieved-from-hiding teachers/students/Lan elders

Wei Wuxian taking advantage of this audience to be like “Now all of Gusu knows you’re evil!”

Wei Wuxian being proven to therefore be not (that) evil after all.

Especially given that the larger part of the jury is now from the generation who had their youth consumed by/were greatly changed by the War, and who mostly agree that the Jins shitting on the innocent Wens was kind of gross anyway (as represented by Lan Xichen).

Things that happen after fic #1

Wei Wuxian falls into teaching because:

During his ten years of being trapped, he invented some really neat magical things

Nothing better to do

Don’t want to leave Lan Wangji just yet (or: lol just try prying yourself out of the deathgrip Lan Wangji is using to metaphorically clutch you to his manly chest, I dare you)

Or rather, he hangs around because of the above, and then Lan Wangji helps him to demo something in class, and he’s like “Sure!”. And then Lan Xichen sees this and is like “hey can you help me demo something too”, and he’s like “Sure!” and -

(And then after this goes on a while, Lan Qiren is like “IF YOU’RE GONNA HANG AROUND AND EAT OUR FOOD YOU MAY AS WELL EARN YOUR KEEP” and also “WE MAY AS WELL PUT YOU ON PAYROLL TO AVOID EMPLOYMENT LAW VIOLATIONS AND ALSO FOR TAX PURPOSES”.)

Wei Wuxian totally enters his first class as a rabbit, and sits on the desk, nodding to each student as they come in. And then when everyone’s present, he stands on his hind legs like he’s going to teach as a rabbit, too, just to see what the students will do.

(If Jin Ling is in that class, the answer is: riot)

Lan Wangji is the kind of Professor who’s consistently a hard-arse because:

He wants to push you, as a student, to reach your full potential; and

He wants you, as a student, to have clear/consistent expectations to work and grow within.

On the other hand, Wei Wuxian is the kind of Professor who’s like “Everything is lalala” during term, and then suddenly the exam is diabolical, made up of 70% lateral-thinking/problem-solving and only 30% of things you actually studied because “That’s real life, kids.”

Now that Lan Wangji knows he’s the rabbit, Wei Wuxian uses his powers to do really dumbshit things like

Perve on Lan Wangji in the shower (Lan Wangji looks down, sees a little black nose under the cubicle door and is like “...”)

Perve on Lan Wangji while he’s changing in their room (Lan Wangji pulls off his shirt, sees a little black nose peeking out from under the bed, is like “...” and drops the shirt straight onto the rabbit’s head)

Upskirt Lan Wangji through his robes (Lan Xichen sees a little black shape running behind his brother in the halls, constantly darting forward to peek under the hem of his flowing robe and is like “...”)

Other things

When Lan Sizhui is five or six or something, he enters a stage of ultimate Lan-Wangji-hero-worship, where he dresses like his dad and follows him around, doing everything he does. So:

Lan Wangji sweeps down the school hallway, one arm in front and one arm behind (in true Chinese Gentleman Style), and a tiny Lan Sizhui follows behind, running slightly to keep up but also holding the same arm in front and the same arm behind.

Lan Wangji stops to look up at the moon, Lan Sizhui also stops to look up at the moon. Lan Wangji nods at students/his brother/a fellow teacher/his uncle, and tiny Lan Sizhui does the same, all the while darting little upwards glances at Lan Wangji to make sure he’s doing it right.

The students/Lan Xichen/teachers/Lan Qiren think this is adorable (”The Little Professor has graced me with his approval ;A;!”), so no one says anything in case Lan Sizhui gets self-conscious and stops.

And then before he knows it, Lan Sizhui has picked up all the things as habits and welp, this is who he is now.

In re: Wen Ning:

All the years Wei Wuxian is gone, with it being common knowledge that the Wen clan was completely wiped out in the War, Wen Ning thinks he’s alone and mostly wanders the Wizarding world by himself (not daring to go anywhere too populous in case he alarms people, but helping anyone he stumbles across if they’re in need - without being seen, if he can manage it).

Then Wei Wuxian comes back, and with him is Sizhui, and Wen Ning thinks, “Oh, I’m not alone! I have one family member and one friend!”

But actually, all the Gusu students have already adopted him, so he has an entire school of family, he just doesn’t know it yet.

One afternoon the students catch him playing two-man Quidditch with Wei Wuxian as goalie, and are like “!!! Why didn’t we think of that?!” so now Wen Ning plays in all the casual games, and the students fight over who gets to have them on their team.

In re: Mianmian: 

Mianmian spends the years following the War as a wandering cursebreaker, disarming all the nasty magical mines/traps/offensive spells that now litter the country, helping magical folk who don’t have enough skill/expertise to deal with the problems themselves, as well as any hapless muggles who get unwittingly caught.

She probably meets her husband when she saves him from something.

She becomes a teacher after Lan Xichen finds out about her exploits and invites her to come back.

When her muggle husband comes to visit her workplace, he’s like “So this is where you grew up. Wow.” and he’s not even amazed by the magic, it’s that he picked the same day that Jiang Cheng came to visit Jin ling, so a rabbit shoots down the hallway and up Lan Wangji’s robes, a dog goes chasing after it, a shouting purple man goes charging after that (firing spells and yelling for Wei Wuxian to “COME BACK HERE!”), while being half-held back by a ... ghost? and it’s total bedlam.

And Mianmian is just like “Yup.”

[neverdoingmuch]

okay! tma au time!

so i’m gonna start off by saying jgs is elias in this au. i dont care what you say about elias’ sexy voice or charisma or whatever, they’re both slimy and evil. also gertrude, so to speak, is wen chao. (bear with me pls)

most other people are assistants. i think? i mean lwj, wwx, jzx and a few others are?

(my brain says it would be funny to have lwj as sasha and su she as not!sasha but lwj deserves better than that)

i’m not really gonna follow the plot of tma bc rip

anyway!

the assistants are just kind of vibing in the archives when they discover that wrh, who’s like the chief of police and is an avatar of the slaughter, is actively killing people for the fears bc acab

does he have a deal with jgs and that’s why wen chao is the archivist? yeah probably. wen chao is the archivist bc daddy had connections. wrh put jgs in charge and sent wen chao to make sure everything was running how wrh wanted it to be

yeah, wrh wants to have control over all the fears or something idk

so wen chao is the archivist. but unlike gertrude who purposefully made things really messy and a nightmare he’s just really incompetent. wen zhuliu is the avatar of the distortion and theyre tight bc zhuliu owes wrh or whatever.

so the wrh stuff comes out and a bunch of people band together to try and bring justice to him and thus we have the sunshot campaign

maybe all the families have their own fears? the lans are the lonely and the nies are the hunt. jfm and yzy are avatars of the bad parenting idk. 

anyway, before they took any action, wwx had already started investigating bc wen chao is a lil bitch and very suspicious

while investigating wwx gets sucked into the archivist stuff and ends up being thrown into the tunnels under the institute with wen zhuliu who then proceeds to do distortion fuckery for three months

he finally escapes and kills wen zhuliu using the powers he’d begun to develop in the tunnels (it’s so strange that he stumbled across a tape recorder which he’d named chenqing and after that he kept finding statements,,, so strange)

he’s killed wen zhuliu so he goes off and kills wen chao and now he’s the archivist whoo

he joins up with the others and they go kill wrh, sweet it’s all dealt with but jgs starts spreading shit about how all the wens are terrible and must be killed (including wen qing’s family who are like paramedics who work ed with the police, so not cops but forced to work w/ them)

while jgs is touting that bs jgy is in the background slowly manipulating wwx into getting all the different marks (idk what they were called) from the different fears

he gets kidnapped by xue yang who is nikola and spends a month getting moisturised by him and told that wow he’s so impressive killing the other avatars,, im gonna follow in your footsteps (let’s say that avatars have a truce not to kill each other in this world. like they’re all equals and pretty much the same strength so there’s no real point in killing each other or trying to kill each other)

wwx escapes and im kinda annoyed we dont have enough bad guys for wwx to properly get his marks but whatever

he goes back to the archives and they come up with a plan to kill xue yang and they go off and do it

imma let you pick what happens here. does jzx die? do we let xxc and sl have the spotlight and this is where their story comes into play?

whatever happens, wwx goes into a coma for thirteen months and enter extremely hot avatar of the end who helps him wake up (mo xuanyu?? mo xuanyu.)

he goes back to the archives and lwj has been taken by the lonely while he was gone so he’s working with his uncle again (the lans are the lukases and i take no criticism)

side note: in this au wwx gets two phobias! (gee wwx! how come you get to have two phobias?)

so mr spider was definitely a thing and so were the dogs

while wwx was on the streets he found this book and he’d just started learning how to read so he decided to practise but then some other kid stole it from him and he ended up watching him get eaten by a giant spider also the dogs attacked him bc no rest for wwx

does wwx pretend not to be aware?? i’d say yes. if not bc of trauma then bc it’s super obvious and the look on lwj’s face when the jane prentiss equivalent attacks and wwx says wow those worms were a lil weird huh? is so funny to him

anyway lwj was in the know the whole time and he probably moved out of his family home and joined the archives so he could investigate jgs but then wwx dies and hes like aight yeah imma feel real lonely right now

so wwx comes back and jc, who had been the host of ghost hunt CW (cultivation world) and was attacked by an evil ghost, tries to kill him

after their fight and subsequent freedom from the slaughter and the eye (sans eye removing bc fuck that) jc moves in with jyl

im sorry that what the girlfriends isnt a thing here but i love the idea of a jyl who just isnt scared of anything because she’s seen death and just can’t get scared anymore

she still dates an archives employee though. it’s jzx, who is kinda like tim in this au i guess? did he die in that explosion? (i want to say no so jyl would be happy but if he dies and she’s mourning him and jc and wwx fought,, well now wwx is alone for bad decision times)

one day wen qing comes up and is like pls help my brother, he’s been taken by the buried so wwx runs off and finds breekon and hope (su she and jin zixun), kill jin zixun and steals the coffin

the rest of the wens are in hiding atm so he doesnt have to like monkey chain all the wens out of the coffin 

so wwx goes inside the coffin and rescues wen ning (bc jon and daisy’s relationship was super sweet)

they get out and immediately run away with wen qing and the rest of the wens

where do they go? wen qing’s cute cottage in scotland (or cultivation world equivalent)

so they’re living as farmers and wwx is getting sick bc he can’t get statements from here but he has to protect them bc the jins keep attacking (what are the jins working for?? idk. the vast? the dark? who knows, not me)

anyway lwj comes and is like you have to come back to gusu/the archives and wwx is like no! bc he has to protect the wens

so lwj is like fuck ive gotta move my timeline up and find a way to off jgs

jgy ends up doing it and lwj is like /: my revenge,,

everyone is happy! jgs is dead, wrh is dead! but then jgy starts stirring up rumours about wwx and lwj is honestly so tired of this shit

and bc people keep attacking the wens, wwx manages to collect the rest of the marks from the other fears

jgy sends his letter: dear wwx sorry for the deception yada yada yada

but wwx is aware of that shit and just kills himself before he can finish reading it

whoo apocalypse averted but lwj comes to help with the wens just in time for his burial so not whoo?

anyway we know wwx isn’t dead and he’s just vibing in another coma or something equivalent (why does he die twice in this au? bc idk how s5 will end but it’s a tragedy horror podcast and i want them to be happy so he gets to die twice)

anyway, the avatar of the web, mister manipulation and secrets extraordinaire nie huaisang is very pissed after jgy manipulated his brother into becoming an avatar of the slaughter and decides to just expose the dude

lxc kills him bc he deserves to kill jgy tbh,,, manipulative toad

nhs also restores wwx’s rep bc they were besties in uni and i refuse to accept anything else

he rocks up to the cottage/farm and is like hey guys i helped clear wwx’s name and wen qing is like hes fucking dead what help were you? and nhs is like ?? he’s not dead

so they unbury him and lwj wakes him up through the power of love and all that jazz

anyway, wwx manages to do *insert super cool thing here* and gets rid of all the fears and they get a happy ending bc i really want them to have a happy ending

do they stay living on the farm/cottage with the wens?? no but they buy a cottage nearby and happily live there together raising rabbits and growing idk pumpkins

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 239: We’re Fucked

Previously on BnHA: Actually it’s been two weeks, so I barely even remember. Let me just... take another... Ah, right. So Tomura brought it up a notch to Goth Level x20 and destroyed all of his Surplus Hands in a fit of independence, and Re-Destro was like “!!!” and then turned himself into a giant robot as a counter-flex. Meanwhile Gigantomachia continued to smash shit and also defeated Orange Leaf because lord knows Dabi was never actually going to get around to it. Compress called Ujiko and was all “hey can you please stop your guy because I’m afraid he’s going to smash us once he’s done smashing everything else,” but Ujiko was all, “listen if Shigaraki dies then he dies!!” But I’m pretty sure Shigaraki isn’t actually going to die. Re-Destro, though? He might be dead. Guess we’ll find out.

Today on BnHA: Nope, Re-Destro isn’t dead. So it goes like this: Tomura, who is now incredibly hot by the way, annihilates the entire fucking town leaving only bits of rubble, basically. Everyone is all, “LOOK AT THIS ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS HOLY SHIT” and basically just watching in awe. Re-Destro chops off his own fucking feet so as not to be disintegrated himself, something which everyone is way too fucking calm about tbh. And in the aftermath Tomura stands there all “lol I won,” and RD is like, “yeah you sure did,” and I was expecting Tomura to be all “well anyways, [kill]” but instead RD is like, “HERE’S THE KEYS TO YOUR NEW ARMY” and Tomura is “HEY COOL” and SOMEHOW THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER AND WORSE ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Heh. Anyways where’s that comic with the dog in the house that’s on fire. That about sums it all up.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, but aside from that there are no changes, and even that was a rush job since I was late in reading the chapter this week. I basically have not edited this at all lulz.)

sounds like someone is about to get the official Gigantomachia Seal of Approval at long last! sure did take this boy a while to get accredited, but he kept at it! there’s a lesson there, folks. if at first you don’t succeed, stop sleeping for two months and then power-hallucinate your way to success

so we’re opening with Hanabata and his van! I sure hope this mofo is about to die, because mofos need to start dying already. I’ve loved this arc and we’ve had some really great times, but I never did have much patience for this particular point of any given arc. side villains need to know when to die. respect for Kizuki, at least she had the right idea

on the other hand we are being gifted with some pretty fun panels, such as this

wah, his shoes. heh

oh my god

did he slam into the van when it hit the brakes to avoid Tomura’s Destruction Radius. ouch

so he’s narrating about how some crazy shit is going down over where Tomura is. and that “our story was at a standstill, but now...”

listen, that “but now” had better mean that you’re about to de-standstill and wrap things up

-- holy shit

I’m not -- Tomura, what!?! you’re hot?! is it just me?? am I fucking losing it?? what the fuck. can you seriously just cut off anyone’s fingers and they’ll magically grow 40x hotter!? somebody count Aizawa’s fingers for me

shit. this isn’t even my normal aesthetic! Tomura you’re crossing genre barriers here. I can’t speak for everyone, but I deeply suspect that you’re appealing very widely right now

the moral of this story is, eyeliner. that’s it. that’s the moral

in other news, Twice shouting “hang in there, Giran!” speaks for all of us, I think, and he had better get a medal for being VIP of this fucking arc. and Giran, it’s good to get some exercise

so who is this monologuing now?

is this a flashback to All for One? or RD getting all philosophical as the countdown inches ever closer to his doom?

like, this could seriously go either way here. huh. full disclosure, I’m doing my best to speedread here since this recap is late, so I’m not taking much time to think real deeply or try and process every little thing this week

now RD is going “guh!” and failing to get with the times

yeah dude, we established this already. Tomura is doing a lot of things he shouldn’t fucking be able to do. because he’s awakening. you’re the one who fucking said it just last chapter. quit being so damn shocked

lol now he’s thinking “if I can just get out of range...” ha, good luck. does he even have a fucking range now

omfg. you guys

being on the villains’ team for an arc is so much fun. so nice to be able to shamelessly appreciate the senseless destruction

okay, not quite as hot now. but from the right angle, though. damn

anyways. he cray. we get it lol

now he’s shouting “I’ll break you to pieces!” all gleefully and, like. destroying the entire town, it looks like. possibly

okay but seriously I think he really is. he really fucking is, you guys

I’m simultaneously grinning at how badass it is and thinking in the back of my mind about how our actual heroes are so!! fucked!! once this arc is over and done with sob

like, hey Tomura, what was your overall goal again? destroy the entire world? oh, yes, right. and what exactly is stopping you, again? literally nothing but a handful of sixteen-year-old heroes in training? whom I’m deeply attached to? yes, that’s surely going to end well

sobbbbbbbb

we’re so. goddamn. fucked

also, when did RD transform back into his little guy form? why do I suddenly almost feel sorry for him. well maybe not sorry so much as I feel pity. though once again, weekly reminder that he invited them himself, and they probably would never have clashed had he not decided to start shit for absolutely no fucking reason

let this be a lesson to all other villains! if you’re still thinking the League is an easy mark now that AFO is ~out of the picture~, let Overhaul and Re-Destro serve as examples of what happens when you underestimate the new boy in charge

and when I think of it that way, it makes me want to warn Tomura not to get too cocky and make the same fucking mistake. AFO and All Might may not have much in common, but one thing they do share is a knack for choosing worthy successors. though I still think that in AFO’s case, “placeholder” would be a more accurate word

anyway so where were we. -- oh yes

I wonder how many pages do we need of Tomura cheerfully decimating shit and RD watching in terror. this is a manga-only complaint though, just to be clear. in the anime? this shit is going to be fucking amazing. Tomura cackling maniacally while the world crumbles to pieces around him. metal af

by the way I love how RD has gone pants-only now that he’s back in his Bruce Banner form

I really shouldn’t be complaining that this chapter is going by so quickly, given that I’m trying to race through it, but literally the next two pages are just more of the same shit

town: destroyed. RD status: defeated and pants-only. plots advanced in the last three pages: none that I can actually see

oh shit. wait

what the -- holy --

okay lol. nevermind. here I thought that was Tomura’s foot on the previous page. and I didn’t notice RD’s feet had been chopped off on account of I thought the BLOODY STUMPS OF HIS FEET were his shoes, I guess. despite the manga establishing multiple times that he was only wearing pants. I only pointed it out specifically twice myself. wowwww

just. I’m running on four hours’ sleep here but feeling pretty all right considering, so I thought I was doing pretty good, but I GUESS NOT lol. one of these days I’ll learn that if a giant two-page spread appears to be a waste, it’s far more likely that I’ve just completely failed to see some very obvious thing of critical importance

anyways. ohhhhh yesssss

[raises hand] me! I know!! it was him calling you up out of the blue and being all “hey come here I want to start a whole battle”!!

heeeeeeeh

god I’m living for this. the brief swell of pity is gone as quickly as it arose lol. finish him off boiiiii

OH FOR FUCK’S --

DID YOU GUYS SOMEHOW FAIL TO GET THE MEMO. DID THE ENTIRE TOWN CRUMBLING APART NOT CLUE YOU IN THAT IT WAS TIME TO HEAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION

jesus. I would be impressed by their loyalty, except that none of them have given a fuck about the 100,000 hapless redshirts who’ve died fighting for them, so it seems pretty damn hypocritical for them to care so much about this one fucking guy. especially when his stupid plan singlehandedly destroyed everything your organization has spent their entire lives working for. in, like, an hour

anyway, Tomura is back to being hot again guys

motherfucker is fully aware of just how much everything is lining up his way right now. finally his childlike self-assuredness actually has some sort of basis in fact. you are exactly as badass as you think you are, sir. must be nice. you enjoy this; you deserve some nice things just this once before everything goes to shit again after this arc

holy shit, even Hanabata’s quirk is failing in the wake of that see-you-in-hell grin

I’m telling you dude, you should have been driving the other way. not that there’s any point now. enjoy your final seconds on this earth

LOL

“meaningless casualties” lmao that is the most pompous variation on “DON’T YOU GET IT, WE’RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE” I’ve ever heard

wow, so wait, is RD trying to beg for their lives now??

that’s a surprisingly classy move. unfortunately I’m fairly sure Tomura is going to show you exactly as much mercy as you were prepared to show him just a few minutes earlier. well maybe a little more mercy, since you were going to take your sweet time and he’ll probably end things quickly in comparison

anyway so now RD is having an internal dialogue with his dead great-grandpa about how Tomura turned out to be the living embodiment of everything they were fighting for

and actually, he’s not wrong when you think about it. which just goes to show you how deeply flawed their philosophy really was. there’s a hugely important distinction between “freedom to be who you are” and “freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, including hurting and oppressing others”

anyway, so in the end he didn’t ask for mercy. “I picked a fight with you and lost. if you mean to kill me, then get it over with.” well I guess that is still classy in its own way though

also, Machia is staring at Tomura and seeing this

which is an awesome visual, and I love that Horikoshi went with that instead of more internal monologuing. nothing else even needs to be said

-- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

SDFSLDKJFLJS HOLY SHIT

yooooooooooo. oh shit

I did not see that coming. should have, probably. there was a lot of buildup to it in hindsight. Tomura and the gang started out the arc flat-out broke, and now at the end of things they acquire a company with precisely the resources they need. manpower, cash, and technological innovations. oh shit. oh shit

oh my god the look on Ujiko’s face. this worked out better than he ever could have hoped

pausing it here because I did in fact laugh and I love it. [pats]

this boy has a 5/5 intelligence score in the character databook. he’s a genius. nothing gets past him. his reflexes are too fast

aaaaaand that’s the end of the chapter. well, then. to reiterate: we are well and truly fucked y’all

[firebuug]

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team: 

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

[skywalkersapprentice]

LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER aka my review of the last jedi

(spoilers)

Contrary to my feelings leading up to the force awakens, I was more nervous than completely excited for this film. I was so terrified that it wasn’t going to be good.

by the end of this movie, those fears had been soothed.

Bad Things(tm) 

it’s a shorter list than i thought it would be but it still exists

kylo ren’s entire existence annoys me. like i came out of tfa hating him and now i loathe him. 

thAt SHIRTLESS SCENE GOD I HATED THAT. it could have been so much worse and i’m grateful it wasn’t but jeez. i strongly echoed rey’s feelings of ‘put a shirt on’. 

the entire fucking force bond thing got on my nerves until i realized it was snoke’s fault. then it was okay. 

rey nobody. listen you guys, i’m all for the found family trope usually but you can pry rey skywalker out of my cold, dead hands. 

i feel like sometimes this movie didn’t know what it was doing with it’s plot. canto bight was beautiful, but that entire plot ultimately felt meaningless. 

same with luke’s purpose, i couldn’t.... really figure out the role he was supposed to be playing. 

some of the scenes on the island felt really fucking boring. 

why did hux slap finn like yeah mate we already know he’s an asshole

this was the biggest one for me- rey’s character. it could have been done so much better. she felt like she was aimlessly wandering around the island for half the movie and she deserved more than she got. i’m just thankful this is the middle act and that she’ll be back in the safe hands of jj abrams for the final movie. 

also finn and rey deserved a better reunion scene but the hug was adorable.

Good Things(tm)

this is a much longer list

ROSE TICO. omg i adore her???? she’s so awkward and tiny and charming. i spent most of the battle of crait thinking ‘omg please don’t die’ and i’m SO HAPPY she didn’t. i ended up not minding finnrose, which i thought i wouldn’t like. she and finn worked so well together.

LUKE THREW THE LIGHTSABER OFF THE CLIFF SDFGHGFDFGH I LAUGHED SO HARD. i immediately knew i was gonna like luke in this movie. 

also i dont’ wanna hear a word about ‘bad characterization’ when it comes to luke. it’s been 30 years since we saw him last and people change. 

i think it helps that i have read basically none of the post-rotj eu and so i had no expectations of what luke ‘should have’ been like. but anyway.

another thing i laughed so hard at: poe pretending not to know who hux was while he was speaking all pretentiously. that was hilarious. 

and then bb8 overextending himself trying to keep the ship working. bb8 was the silent hero of this movie and you all need to appreciate him.

CHEWIE AND THE PORGS. oh my godd when he was eating that one porg and then the rest of them show up with huge eyes and legitimately sad expressions. i was literally aww-ing. i’ve bought into the cute porg marketing. they made me smile every time they were onscreen. sue me. 

i really liked what luke had to say about the light side not ‘belonging’ to the jedi, because it’s true. time to think outside the box lads

rey looked so good in that jedi outfit

the golden four (finn, rose, rey and poe) all looked amazing tbh.

i almost liked kylo ren for one (1) second after he killed snoke and then he decided that he wanted to destroy the rest of the galaxy too and i was like Oh My God

also they made a bold move by killing snoke but i really liked that they did. now ren can step into position as the Main Villain, which is what he deserves. (no redemption arc bitch you’ve tried to murder everyone like twice)

also the way!!! snoke died!!!!! was so cool!!!! he could read ren’s intentions like a book, but the way ren deceived him into thinking that rey was his sworn enemy because ‘i can’t be betrayed’ was amazing. and this is coming from someone who despises kylo ren.

lmao @ hux and ren subtly fighting for control over their troops. i wouldn’t be surprised if hux eventually stabs ren in the back.

THAT SCENE WHERE REN AND REY BREAK ANAKIN’S LIGHTSABER

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING

it would have more meaning if rey was also related to anakin but whatever

holy shit. the entire scene with yoda. i was silently squeeing into my hands the whole time.

this is the first time i have ever been happy to see yoda but oh. my god. that little troll cackling as he destroyed the early jedi texts (‘page turners, they were not’) was AMAZING. 

i almost forgot to mention but 

LEIA

USING THE FUCKING FORCE

TO SAVE HERSELF AND BRING HER BACK TO THE SHIP WHILE LOOKING LIKE A GODDAMN ANGEL

that was the first time the guy beside me offered me tissues. i was not okay.

also i love her dynamic with poe so much. and that scene where amilyn and leia are discussing him and amilyn says ‘i like him’ and leia goes ‘me too’ is so pure.

also leia and amilyn had one (1) scene together but it still managed to make me emotional. leia has lost so much and this was just one more thing, but their goodbye was good.

also i love my gay mom amilyn tbh. the luna lovegood comparisons were rolling in before the film and tbh i could see that! i’m so sad she had to die but what a fucking way to go. the entire theater was dead silent when she made that jump to hyperspace. 

i don’t think i’ve ever sworn this much in my life. whatever.

something i really liked that i didn’t expect to is how so close ren and rey came to leaving their respective sides. the lines between light and dark got so blurry in snoke’s throne room, but eventually what happened seemed to cement their respective positions, pushing them even further away from one another. it was cool.

leia marching onto the bridge of the command ship fresh from unconsciousness and stunning poe wow what an icon

also when will the gays learn to communicate i mean poe and amilyn come on

can we talk about that scene in the falcon when luke and artoo reunite :( omg. artoo still has leia’s old message and i personally want to die.

luke and leia’s (natural) force connection that spans half a galaxy!!!! ‘luke’ ‘leia’ i personally want to die (part 2)

canto bight looked straight out of the prequels and i was Living

i was also living for the way finn and rose destroyed it

“you have always been scum”. “rebel scum” THAT’S MY BOY I LOVE FINN

also there was something that finn said on crait while they were in the mine (i forget what it was) but poe and rose both looked at him like they were falling in love 

and also poe’s delight when seeing that finn and rose aren’t dead and immediately going ‘where’s my droid’ :( i love how much he loves bb8, it’s very reminiscent of anakin and artoo.

speaking of crait

LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER

[INCOHERENT YELLING]

when the shadow appeared in the mine i was like..... omg. it can’t be. he wouldn’t.

and then it WAS and i realized that we were actually getting a leia and luke reunion, after i had convinced myself it wouldn’t happen, and then i started really crying. i don’t think i’ve ever cried like that at a movie before. i don’t even remember most of what was said, except for luke’s ‘no one is ever really gone’ (directed at leia, by then i was properly sobbing) and then the forehead kiss. i was a mess. the guy beside me offered me kleenex again.

That was, without a doubt, my favourite scene in the film. Luke and Leia got to say goodbye. I feel like that actually healed something in me that broke when carrie died last year. like, the movie was worth making just for that one fucking scene.

but then it got better.

when ren ordered all the walkers to fire on luke and then luke walked out unscathed someone in front of me actually clapped with glee. from the moment he ignighted his lightsaber, there was an energy of just joy in the theater, and you could tell that scene was exactly what everyone had wanted from luke.

AND THEN KYLO REN TRIED TO CUT HIM IN HALF AND IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DELIGHTED

'amazing. everything you just said was wrong.’ YES LUKE YES

I can’t wait for luke to haunt ren from beyond the grave in episode 9. i don’t know how i feel about the fact that he’s dead, but it’s far from the sadness i felt when han died.

like rey and leia said- there was a sense of peace there.

I just. I just wish Leia could find that peace. She has lost absolutely everyone. And now the movie that was supposed to be about her can’t exist.

‘in loving memory of our princess carrie fisher’ made me halt on the steps and bring my hand to my mouth on the way out of the theater. i’d forgotten that would happen. :(

I don’t want to end this on a sad note. I really did like this movie. It’s not quite good enough for a 9 and i hesitate to rate it as low as a 7 so an 8 it is. 

Overall- better than i’d hoped. had some absolutely magical moments that made me remember why i love this franchise so much. there were some truly cool force-related moments, i love the golden four and luke skywalker is fucking awesome. kylo ren is fucking terrible, i wish this movie had progressed it’s characters a little and rey deserves to be a skywalker.

bring on episode nine. 

[rachello344]

ace-of-twos:  last night you reblogged a thing and one of the options was “tell me a story that happened to you”. i’m sorry this took so long to type. but here it is. i hope you enjoy reading it. sorry it’s a mess. 

… [Rachello344: I’m adding a readmore because damn is this a helluva story, but it is also quite long XD]

first thing you gotta know is that like any set of best friends, lex and i make terrible decisions. this includes deciding to go to the fair last minute which, yes, may sound like a great idea, but just wait for it. the second thing you gotta know is there are going to be a fuckton of asides in this story bc the entire day was a magical and incoherent wreck. 

there’s a fair that comes into town twice a year. i don’t usually go bc it’s hot and loud and god there are so many people. but lex convinces me and we go.

our first mistake: we arrived as it opened, at 1pm. 

our second mistake: from arrival to departure, we did not leave the fairgrounds. 

our third mistake: we stayed until approximately 8:30pm. 

keep in mind that those numbers, first and second and third, only really apply to that particular list. many mistakes were made that day. most, but not all, were made by us. it was terrible but also mostly hilarious. 

so, to get into the fair and actually get to the rides, you have to walk through a long kinda psuedo hallway filled with carnival games. giant prizes are hanging from the ceiling. one of these prizes is a dragon. it’s fucking adorable as shit. keep this in mind. it’s important. 

at about 2pm, both of us high on adrenaline, we decide to ride the tilt-a-whirl. i have never properly been on a tilt-a-whirl so a number of things happen in rapid succession. lex scares the shit out of me by making the carriage spin super fucking fast. (i thought you were just supposed to sit there and let the momentum spin you around. oh, how wrong i was.) i discover that i fucking love the tilt-a-whirl. i demand we ride it again. we get in line. when we get back to the ticket gate, the person managing the ride tells us that we’ll have to take another person in the carriage with us. this is fine until it’s revealed that this other person is a 10yro girl. 

lemme describe this girl for you: big, trusting eyes; dark skin; the sweetest smile; chocolate colored hair in a neat bob; matching shorts and top. basically she’s the most adorable small child i’ve ever seen. 

lex and i are 100% planning to spin the ride out of control. 

i am slightly worried for this child. maybe we shouldn’t do this. i really don’t want her to throw up, specifically on either lex or i bc we are idiots who live far away from the fair and yet brought no spare clothing despite the fact that fairs are messy places. to be fair, i also just really don’t want her to have a terrible time. but mostly the throwing up would be a downer. 

we spin the ride. 

for two seconds, i watch the small child with concern. and then she screams, the delighted kind, and i help lex turn the carriage into a poorly maintained and probably dangerous metal tornado. 

(s'all good, no one’s died at the fair in… years, probably. idk.) 

i’m pretty sure we made that kid’s day. we also probably made her parents want to kill us bc we definitely turned her into an adrenaline junkie. 

moving on. there’s a swing ride called the yo-yo. (yes, it’s exactly as terrifying as it sounds. the only ride that scares me more is the zipper.) lex initially doesn’t want to go on it bc tbh it’s a wee bit rundown. it’s an old fair, everything is a little broken, but this ride is like scarily old. but then she remembers some of the nostalgia or smth and we get in line. 

all the swings are individual seats, one in front of the other, around a thing that spins. a major fucking asshole sits in front of lex. 

i’m already scared out of my mind, no matter how fucking safe they claim to be those things do NOT feel secure, and then this guy? he starts swinging back and forth, trying to hit his girlfriend that’s sitting in front of him. he hits lex multiple times in the process. i was so close to strangling him but i really didn’t want to be arrested for murder and ruin an otherwise good day so i moved on. 

(also he and his gf spent the entire time before the ride got started making out????? like wow. can there be a limit on pda? like please? chill out.) 

you remember that dragon from earlier? let’s get back to it. 

okay, actually, one more aside. it’s time for lunch. lex and i have realized too late that fair food is fucking expensive. we spent all our money getting day passes so we could ride every single ride available to us. lex is a bottomless pit and i don’t eat much, but even i’m hungry. 

we do the obvious thing and beg my dad to drive out to the fair and give us money for food.

(yes, we had passes. this means we could’ve left and come back. no, we did not do that. in our defense, going home would’ve taken like an hour and then add in food prep time and actually eating it and then coming back? yeah, no. fair only comes once a year. it’s ride or die.) 

my dad gives us way too much money. yep, his mistake. like. giving a large amount of cash to teens wandering around a fair? not smart. 

despite the fact that we were both starving, it’s also fucking boiling out. we aren’t as hungry as we think we are. so we split a poutine and still have a ridiculous amount of money left. 

back to the dragon. 

we’d gone up to one of the stalls before and asked what we had to do to win one. the lady is old and kinda grumpy, probs not super happy about working around screaming kids, so instead of telling us how many balloons we had to pop to get a dragon (the information we were looking for) she tells us how much money to just straight up buy it. 

i’m hard of hearing and have problems processing auditory input so i do not hear what the price is. this is before lunch and i have fourteen dollars. 

she walks over while we’re trying to count out how much change i have and then shakes her head. she did not say fourteen dollars. she said forty. anxiety kicks in and it’s suddenly the worst moment of my life. 

after lunch, we have forty dollars leftover. we march up to the lady and i would love to say we shoved forty dollars in her face but we did not. we crouched over her counter for about ten minutes trying to figure out what combination of change equaled forty dollars. then i awkwardly poured it into her hand. 

she’s going to just give us the dragon but apparently she has to keep up the ruse bc she drops a handful of darts on the counter. we have eight darts between us and we have paid forty dollars. all i want is the dragon. 

we each throw four darts. it’s horribly sad to pay forty dollars and get a measly eight darts. but hey, the economy is shit. we are also shit. as in, we are awful shots. i think we managed to pop a total of three balloons. it’s far more likely that we only popped two. 

i tell myself that we aren’t paying for the darts, we’re paying for a dragon. 

the lady hands us a dragon. i forget that anything bad has ever happened to me in my life. i am so fucking overjoyed to have a dragon. like damn. 

the rest of this story happens much, much later. 

it’s about 7pm. lex and i have decided to go on one last ride and then leave. we’re both wearing shorts, have no jackets, and it’s getting cold out. so we get in line for the himalaya. 

(to explain, it’s kinda like a roller coaster but it only goes around a little circular track. they play really, really loud music the entire time the ride is going. it’s awful and amazing. esp bc they play weird shit like gangam style and old justin beiber songs. it’s weird. the ride spins forward for half a song and then backwards for the last half. there’s usually a guy standing by to make sure that everything runs smoothly but he also has another purpose. he sits there with his hands out and high fives as many people as he can. it’s amazing but as the lighter person i’m never on the outer edge so i can almost never reach him and it’s upsetting.) 

we’re waiting in line for the himalaya. we’re both tired. we’ve been here for six hours. both quiet. and then lex screams. 

she’s seen our friend chris on the ride. we did not know chris was there, had no plans to meet up with him. and chris is kind of awesome and bubbly and just all around a pretty cool dude. we both love him. 

so clearly, we spend the next couple of minutes making funny faces at chris every time the ride brings him closer to us. it’s what friends do. 

when chris gets off the ride, he’s here with some other people that we barely know but that isn’t important, we make plans to ride the himalaya together as our final ride. lex and i get on the ride and we’ll meet up later. 

(before then, we also persuade him to ride the tilt-a-whirl with us and scare the shit out of him by spinning it as hard as we can. there’s videos of him just screaming. it’s pretty great.) 

then it’s the last ride of the night. the himalaya. 

we all get in line. 

after such a good day, something just had to go wrong. 

we’re getting pretty close to the start of the line and there’s a pretty decent gap in the line bc it’s late and everyone’s lazy so lines tend to be disorganized. a group of teens is kinda chilling next to the line and they do the unthinkable. they attempt to slide into the line just ahead of us. 

this brings us to the part of the story where chris almost gets in a fight. 

chris may be an airhead but he absolutely will not stand for shit like that so he just holds his arm out in front of him like a shield and tells them to go to the back of the line. the teens do not take this super well. 

incorrigible as ever, they still jump the line but this time they end up just behind us in the line. everything is fine. and then the ‘leader’ starts talking shit at chris, backed up by his boys. 

(i should mention that chris is trans, pre-t, and fucking tiny. he also lacks comon sense. for all that he may be like three years older than me, he will always be my little brother.) 

so when the leader says, “if you ever fucking touch me again, i’ll grope your ass,” we all get a little defensive. also bc the guy’s a dick. 

there’s two kids in line behind us and in front of them. lex has noticed them, i did not. they’re middle schoolers. clearly. they’re full of energy, dancing and dabbing and just generally being walking, talking memes. lex is also a memelord. these are her people. so she turns to them and asks them to annoy the shit outta the guys behind them. 

being annoying middle schoolers who love chaos, they comply. 

at some point they ask us how old we all are. now, remember how i said chris is fucking tiny? he tells them he’s 21 and they don’t believe it. and of course, i’m 19 but i look 12 so they don’t believe me either. 

chris and i are both fucking extra so we dig out our wallets to present our id cards to these kids. and my wallet is a wee bit of a disaster. i’m also clumsy. so when i try to get it back in the bag, it doesn’t end well. i decide to just carry it with me on the ride and it’s all going great until i trip. all the cards spill out. 

now there’s this guy and i’ve seen him on several rides. he’s wearing sunglasses and a frown. i have not seen him smile all day. he also keeps texting during rides with is baffling to me. ENJOY THE DAMN RIDE. 

just giving you context so he’s clearly established as a douche. 

i trip right next to his car. as i’m struggling to pick up the contents of my wallet, he turns to me and says, “how many fucking cards do you need?" 

i’m not proud, but here’s my response: "how many fucking cards does your mom need?!” then i walked away. and keep in mind that half of my cards are still on the floor as i make my exit. (luckily lex grabbed them.) 

with that nonsense over, we attempt to get on the ride. 

now, i’m a fucking twig with legs and i’ve already said that chris is tiny. we figure that all of us will fit in the one car. we have forgotten to factor in lex’s fucking gigantic hips. she cannot fit in the car with us. so she gets out and looks around and spots them. 

the middle schoolers, they’re sitting behind us. 

lex approaches their car and says, i kid you not, “move fuckers, i’m getting in.” respectful of their meme elder, they allow this. 

we figure that’s enough adventure for one day so lex and i start to leave the fair. it’s been a long day. we are very tired. i say, wistfully, “damn, we should’ve gotten a picture with the meme children.” lex and i turn to each other, communicating non-verbally, and simultaneously turn to head back into the fairgrounds. 

and that’s the story of how i ended up following two children on instagram. 

[cuddlingsun]

hello @ciaoloueh​ (or her phansona, danielbear) has tagged me to do this thingy and it’s long bUT THATS FINE BECAUSE I FIXED IT SO NOW I CAN MENTION PEOPLE AND DO A READ MORE AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFU

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: water! I tried to drink some after waking up (and another sip just now) because who knows if I drink enough it might be a step to being healthier

2. Phone call: my mom, who called to ask what kind of math my brother has

3. Text message: cbs™ got a very excited text about how i can mention people now, it’s truly revolutionary 

4. Song you listened to: green light by lorde i think

5. Time you cried: i remember crying in my dream last night but can’t remember the actual time sorry

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Been cheated on: nope

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: well I think so, but like it wasn’t officially diagnosed and all, do feel tons better rn even if it isn’t all that amazing yet

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. dark red

13. dark blue

14. the purple/olive green/brown aesthetic that hana gave me lmao

I JUST LOVE A LOT OF THINGS OKAY FIGHT ME

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes! though the real life ones aren’t proper friends but the online ones are I guess :D

16. Fallen out of love: sort of??? maybe it was before this past year so idk let’s say no so I feel better about it

17. Laughed until you cried: i’d sure hope so

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ha yes but not that i care too much about it, trying to not have any contact with those people anyway

19. Met someone who changed you: not sure, don’t think so

20. Found out who your true friends are: sort of? i kind of decided to not try too hard for people that don’t try for me? like there’s a difference between being scared to start conversations and just generally not caring abt me as a person u know

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i’m going to count it hold up -- 44 out of the 51 

23. Do you have any pets: sadly no

24. Do you want to change your name: sort of did but not anymore? i like to use bus because it’s easy and a nickname but i can live with my name i guess (though maybe change the official spelling lmao)

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had some friends over and had a chilled out get together (and my mom had cooked dinner) which was nice I guess (also two of my friends got me a book which nearly made me cry but all right)

26. What time did you wake up: around nine I think? woke up around 6.25 then around 8.06 and then somewhere before 9.30 (i’m being specific if u care to read this far you won’t mind anyway)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep by daydreaming 

28. Name something you cannot wait for: I cannot wait for a bunch of things but myself aside i can’t wait for one direction to come back?? which sounds selfish i mean i love their solo careers but boys i miss u 

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: last night when she had made some tea but it was too sour for me and then i went to bed (i just went downstairs and saw her again, if that makes u happier)

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: we can’t get into this now fully, but i feel like having tons of money could make a big change to my current situation

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing tbh (also changed to green light when i came back, i was halfway through)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lmao yes he helped teach maths at uni which was cool i guess

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me but also in general the state of the world, but also me a lot

34. Most visited website: tumblr probably lmao 

35. Elementary: was cool I guess, i had a real good year and then it was shitty again but overall could have been worse

36. High School: wasn’t the best, could’ve been worse. i don’t really feel any type of Big Feelings towards any of these

37. College/university: sadly didn’t finish the one thing, so next year i’m starting law? (wish me luck tbh) and afterwards i want to genuinely study physics/chemistry at some point again but who knows if it will happen and when 38. Hair colour: brown

39. Long or short hair: short, but it’s been growing quite a lot

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not that i know of and boy is it good i love it finally time to focus on MYSELF am i rite ladies

41. What do you like about yourself: my mind mostly, physically i don’t LIKE anything but i’m not in full hatred either so there’s that 

42. Piercings: i had my ears pierced but i don’t wear jewelry so 

43. Blood type: i believe O but i’m not sure and don’t know the positive/negative thingy

44. Nickname: lmao hana literally referred to me as bus here so that, don’t really have any others?? bush but i don’t really like that one so

45. Relationship status: single and v v v v happy with that

46. Zodiac sign: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: brooklyn nine-nine, merlin, elementary (and well doctor who, victoria and dirk gently too) (also liked selfie?? and atlantis, galavant, agent carter)

49. Tattoos: none  50. Right or left hand: right (though i want to learn writing with both hands tbh)

FIRST… 51. Surgery: i think they did something with my ears when i was really really young so I don’t even remember it (and i’m scared of surgery so let’s keep it this way)

52. Piercing: the one but also none u feel 

54. Sport: i did ballet which i loved but then i had to stop or go on with people who were like two or three years older than me and were way better so i quit

55. Vacation: i mean i went to turkey every year even as a tiny baby i think so that probably? 

56. Pair of trainers:  i was a tiny child, how should i remember this

57. Eating: ah okay not first so um had a tiny bit of chocolate but still deciding on breakfast 

58. Drinking: the water is still there, i’ll take a sip now

59. I’m about to: figure out what to read whilst i hide from the cleaning lady for three hours (and probably eat something first) 

60. Listening to: currently it’s royals also by lorde 

61. Waiting for: a simple thing rn because we’re not that deep yet: a burst of motivation to go shopping tonight with my sister and her friend

62. Want: general Big Life Things, but also just books??? i fucking love books NO FUCK I WANT TIME LOTS OF TIME SO I CAN DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO

63. Get married: not planning to but who knows life is weird

64. Career: okay look the most ideal one would be a scientist and an author but we all know studying law won’t get me there so we’re still figuring it out, but scientist and author??? especially scientist??? id die for that man

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: currently feeling a good hugs (woah, we would never have guessed tumblr user cuddlingsun)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes i guess?? 

67. Shorter or taller: taller??? look I don’t Know these things 

68. Older or younger: probably older??? but also like younger is fine??? idk

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I DON’T KNOW EITHER HANA whichever one that person wants??? like i’m not very specific on these things

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I guess but like hana said, you could be both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship lmao what would i get out of a hookup except for years of pining

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, but also a teeny bit mischievous otherwise i’d get bored  --------- keeping hana’s answer here

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: nope

75. Drank hard liquor?: nope

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: i lost a lens once when i slept with them in accidently, but later found it on my pillow (i think) which was quite odd

77. Turned someone down: HA if we’re HONEST yes but like,,, i was twelve,,, he was weird,,, let’s forget it ever happened 

78. Sex on first date: um no -- hana catching my feelings perfectly

79. Broken someone’s heart: well that would be a maybe but i hope not lmao

80. Had your heart broken: L M A O yes way too easily

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes, though it usually takes other people crying for me to Get There

83. Fallen for a friend: yes? no? idk what came first but honestly i’d like to have it be a friend rather than a stranger lmao

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: in all honesty no, but i’m trying to

85. Miracles: yes, in a way

86. Love at first sight: sort of?? like not love exactly but a feeling that turns into actual love yeah that’s possible i guess 

87. Santa Claus: nope, but i dont remember if i ever believed in him to begin with so i should ask me mum probably

88. Kiss on the first date: idk??? 

89. Angels: yeah i mean yeah with the religion thing and stuff i guess that’s a yes 

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: honestly idk like i have many best friends and i don’t really have a solid best friend anymore but that’s fine because i lov so many people anyway

91. Eye colour: also brown

92. Favourite movie: don’t??? but all righty some time ago i’d have said spongebob the movie so that, hidden figures, prisoner of azkaban, dead poets society, brave (also pride and prejudice & austenland probably)

i tag @bothhappy--andsad because she usually wants to do these kinds of tags and if they want to: @ryanperch @floralaesthetlc @klainederful cus u guys are super cool and i wanna know if you care to do it (and anyone else that wants to do it can say i tagged them cus i wanna READ)

[canislupus11]

My Progression As A Naruto Fan Regarding Power of Characters

Me as a beginner, naive in the ways of Naruto: Naruto and Sasuke are gonna become the most powerful people in the world. Just look how powerful Sasuke already is for his age, and look at all of both of their potentials!

Me after watching more Naruto: They’re still gonna be the most powerful, just you watch. Surely more people as powerful as Haku aren’t going to keep springing up out of nowhere and beating them up. That has to have been a fluke, if he really was their age. And they’ll get better at fighting.

Me after getting to the Chuunin Exams arc: I refuse to believe Gaara is more powerful than Sasuke is at the moment, and refuse to believe he will stay more powerful than Naruto. Why the fuck did Naruto beat Kiba with a fart? He should show his progression, but then again, that was before training with Jiraiya for the final round.

Me, watching the Sasuke Retrieval arc: Wow, the Konoha 12 have grown a lot! They can beat people who can beat full-fledged Jounin! But does that make Naruto and Sasuke weaker than all of them, or does that just make them really strong? That better be it. No, you know what, that is it.

Me, watching Naruto leave for training with Jiraiya: You better grow into your potential, you annoying yet lovable little yellow Hokage brat. Otherwise you’re never going to be powerful enough to drag Sasuke back, yowling and hissing like an annoyed cat. That’s going to be hilarious if it happens.

Me, watching the first arc of Shippuden: Who THE FUCK are these other Akatsuki?! And I thought Itachi and Kisame were able to solo anyone, no matter their number unless it’s a literal army of strong people. No, all it would take would be for one these guys to catch one of them off guard in a one-on-one. It could be pretty evenly matched. Who is this blonde who just waltzed into Sunagakure, not even trying to be stealthy, blew shit up, took out Gaara, and then got huffy about the fact that it would be EASY to kill him, but hard to capture due to explosions? And who is this creepy old man who is apparently STRONGER than this fucking pyromaniac who would probably drop a bomb on Konoha if he flew by just for the lols of seeing it go up in flames and hearing people freak out?! But hey, at least Sakura’s better now, not useless, and she’s pretty strong.

Me, after watching the first arc of Shippuden: Fucking bullshit, Sakura and Chiyo should not have beat Sasori! Chiyo was way past her prime, and Sasori was a great example of the new generation surpassing the old, Sakura is not, though she’s better than before. But Sakura couldn’t hold a candle to him. They should’ve died there, realistically. And Deidara isn’t stupid, most people can dodge Kamui if they know something’s up. And you’d think someone with enough intelligence to do what he did wouldn’t be fooled by Kakashi’s Shadow Clone trick. Also WHY DOESN’T HE EVER USE ANY JUTSU BESIDES CLAY EXPLOSIONS?! WHY NOT EVEN HIS NORMAL EXPLOSION RELEASE?! Because I’m sure he could, and well-rounded fighters are both more interesting to watch and exponentially harder to beat. At least he didn’t die in some stupid plot accident for getting rid of a powerful Akatsuki so they don’t murder important characters they’re not supposed to.

Me, after seeing Orochimaru fight Naruto and tell him he’s not even in the same league as Sasuke: Orochimaru is a lot more powerful than I actually thought if he thinks this Naruto is trivial. Those Rashōshomon Gates are VERY impressive. Maybe Sasuke learned that? Also, there’s no fucking way Naruto isn’t even in Sasuke league! If that’s true, then Naruto isn’t going to get Sasuke back.

Me after seeing Sasuke reappear: What the fuck. He is powerful. What is that Chidori?! Wow, imagine if he had the Mangekyou though. Maybe, if he can temporarily incapacitate Kurama like that, he really is out of Naruto’s league right now. I hope he kills Orochimaru soon. Although I still don’t think he’d stand a chance against any Akatsuki seen so far.

Me after encountering Kakuzu and Hidan: The fuck are they?! Well, I don’t think they’re as powerful as the previous two pairs, but in the Akatsuki, weak is relative, and they’re creepy af. Hidan’s stupid though. Not relative to the other Akatsuki, just plain stupid.

Me after Hidan and Kakuzu died: BULLSHIT, Kakuzu doesn’t even have blood, that doesn’t fucking work, Hidan may be stupid, but he isn’t so stupid as to not realize he didn’t actually scratch his opponent. Plus, that strategy wouldn’t have worked anyway. They ignored Kakuzu’s abilities just so he and Hidan could die. Also, looking back on the Sasuke Retrieval arc, the fact that a bunch of Genin could beat people who could beat Jounin is a load of bullshit. It made no sense whatsoever. Bullshit.

Me after watching Tobi in action: That’s hilarious, but he’s actually quite powerful if he can do that sort of thing. They can’t hit him. Honestly, I wonder what kind of role he’ll play in the future.

Me after watching the Deidara and Sasuke fight: BULLSHIT. Deidara should have won that long ago. Tbh, it was mostly for plot that he didn’t just fly up on his dragon, rain distraction bombs down on Sasuke, then use C4 twice, because if Sasuke uses Chidori on himself twice, he’d probably die anyway. Or at least, you know, use NORMAL GODDAMN EXPLOSION RELEASE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING EX-EXPLOSION CORPS MEMBER, DEIDARA, or ANY jutsu that isn’t explosive clay or that weird hiding like a mole one. Like, Sasuke gets too close, don’t throw a mini-bomb at him, just punch him in the face and set off Explosion Release, boom his brains get blown out, that’s what he gets for carelessness. Or even consider making an earth spike that runs his head through? But of course not, because this is a plot-armour decided fight. And don’t even get me started on that final asspull. The Great Snake Escape. That was even worse than the earlier mistakes. If your going to have Sasuke survive the fight at all, it should be by running away and somehow getting Deidara to stop giving chase.

Me after watching Itachi vs Sasuke and the Pain fight: Itachi let himself be beaten, Sasuke is not strong enough to take on most Akatsuki yet. He’s on the path to becoming ultra-powerful, but he’s not even close yet. But how’s Naruto going to get there? I’m honestly a little worried, particularly given the fact that he didn’t actually beat Nagato either.

Me after seeing Konan vs Tobi: Come on Tobi, the Izanagi? Really? Konan, that paper ocean jutsu was great, but next time have three trump cards so he can use Izanagi twice and still lose, blind and defeated.

Me after seeing the Five Kage Summit fight: Honestly, Sasuke could beat any individual Kage there, but they keep kicking him between each other like a soccer ball. That really wasn’t fair. He might even be able to beat a team of two, depending on which Kage they are. But any individual Kage would get killed by Sasuke. He better be able to kill Danzo, though, even though I already know Danzo’s got a bunch of Sharingan that can use Izanagi on his arm from spoilers.

Me after watching Sasuke vs Danzo: Tobi that wasn’t close. If you see something like what came out of Danzo, the first shinobi instinct is: RUN LIKE HELL. Sasuke would not be stupid enough to just stand there. And fucking Danzo. Cheater. He stole all those Sharingan from the Uchiha HE ordered Itachi to kill, just so he could use fucking Izanagi when his opponent doesn’t even know it exists.

Me after watching Sakura vs Sasuke’s reflexes, Naruto’s desire to save Sakura vs Sasuke’s “fucking leave me alone bitch”, and Kakashi’s new “teacher instincts”(where were those BEFORE Sasuke left, huh?) vs Sasuke’s righteous anger at the Konoha elders: Fuck you Sakura, do you really think the poison is gonna work on the person with POISON IMMUNITY?! And do you actually believe you’re strong enough to do anything? Naruto, you’ve gotten stronger, but you are not dragging Sasuke back anytime soon. Kakashi, why does one use of Kamui still murder you?

Me after watching Killer B vs Taka: Honest-to-god bullshit. Killer B did need that tentacle trick unless he wanted to start ripping apart everything with bijuu bombs, but then, they take long enough to create that one or more of Taka could distract, and the remaining member(s) could attack. Still, all four of them could have beat him, especially with Kagutsuchi and Amaterasu.

Skipping forward to when the power levels really rocket off the charts, and when my perceptions really started to change

Me after seeing Edo Tensei Madara for the first time: That’s right motherfuckers, things are about to get real and I haven’t even seen him in action yet. But the moment he starts attacking...

Me after realizing he has dropped a meteor on them: Fuck he started already! How?! He’s not even breaking a sweat! Nagato wouldn’t be able to do that so easily! But then again, he is Madara Uchiha.

Me after seeing them stop the meteor: I did not expect that from them. But wait...”what are you going to do about the second one?!” Fucking...Madara is too much! He’s cool, but I’m never going to like him. I’m done sympathizing with villains, this one is too evil. Unforgivable.

Me after seeing Madara start fighting the Five Kage: It’s over. No way he’s beating all five of them. He can’t do that. They’re the FIVE KAGE. Little voice in the back of my head says, “Yeah, but now Sasuke could probably beat any two Kage teamed up, and Madara is...Madara. Hopefully after Sasuke gets his EMS, he’ll outclass Madara.”

Me after seeing Madara finish the Five Kage fight and leave, bored: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! He’s still cool, but I’ll still never like him. He’s powerful though. But eventually Sasuke and Naruto will surpass him.

Me, watching him casually play with Naruto and co for a little: He’s toying with them. Motherfucker is like a big, spiky, black cat with the most smug attitude in the whole goddamn world.

Me, immediately after seeing his backstory: He is massively powerful but...oh my god...his backstory. I don’t know who my favourite Uchiha is anymore!!! He’s one of my favourite characters! Why did this have to happen to him and Hashirama?! Also they’re literal gods, they’re not getting surpassed, especially Madara with the Rinnegan and Wood Release.

Me after seeing Madara revived in full, no eyes state: He’s got no eyes, but he acts like he can see. HOW. He’s even more badass now. I see what he meant when he said Edo Tensei wasn’t as good. Like, fuck how are they going to beat him now? Or even get him to pause long enough for Naruto to use talk-no-jutsu? Because if they don’t literally force him to stop for sixty seconds, he will turn Naruto inside out if he’s distracted by using talk-no-jutsu.

Me after seeing Madara with one Rinnegan: How do they defeat this? Asspull power ups, hmm? No individual person is defeating him, that’s for sure. I can’t believe I ever thought the Five Kage could hold a candle to him.

Me after seeing Juudara: Victory will be an asspull confirmed.

Me after seeing two-Rinnegan Rinne-Sharingan Juudara: However they beat him is a fucking no-no. They can’t realistically beat him now, if they ever could. Literally he doesn’t even need to dodge otherwise lethal attacks. But he can.

Me after seeing Kaguya appear: That’s fucking it, I am so done with this! I want Madara back! Not this...this...I actually don’t genuinely like and empathize with this villain! I want the Akatsuki and Madara back!! Where’s an anime about just the Akatsuki? And one about the founders era people? Where are they?!