#and get a little self-righteous about someone else doing it wrong even though that's not really how this works

[unopenablebox]

it's possible i'm going to get, like, really into tmbg, just to give me a thing to do

[uldren-sov]

for oc asks: not-so-nice edition, a meme that was practically made for javi, monster, skin and wound for javi >:3c

Mr. Lasombra and one half of the Lasom-bros, Javier "Mateo Sandoval" Medellín Ask meme here!

(tyty for the asks!!! these are JUICY)

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

I mean just by saying he's a vampire is saying he's monstrous right? d: or is that the easy cop-out answer? Realistically even then there are things lurking under the surface than just the power of death, the void, and Oblivion. Soul-eater, kin-killer, there's something very wrong about a member of a species that can only feed on it's own - something deviant and devious and most certainly wrong. But when the baseline is wrong by our human standards, does that still make someone monstrous?

Beyond being a diabolist and blood leech, there's the fact that something out there in the Dark is calling to him, spoke to him, and the idea that he can shadowbox with his shadow sure is p.spooky.

He rejects his monstrous-ness as a necessary, as a righteous thing among his kind and a way to gain some relief by not preying upon the very people he swore his life to protect but maybe his most interesting conflict is just what it will take to have him crumble and accept his change as being monstrous without trying to be redeeming about it at all.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

NO. NEVER.

He has never been confident in his skin, ever since he was a boy he's suffered and struggled with his self-image. Struggling with weight and people's expectations/image of him, of stress and honestly borderline eating disorders growing up it all lead to a very low opinion of how he looks. Even now and even though he's like 6'+ and built like he belongs on the cover of some men's workout magazine, he has not prided himself in it, merely the relief it feels that he is now able to control how he looks.

And, well, that look is never changing ever again. :)

(Part of struggling with his self image I think also made it a little easier to pretend to be someone else, to act a role that his body fits, and in that way he can get some kind of comfort of: I'm supposed to look this way, I'm finally conforming to a norm; people will look at me and see an image that I can curate, that I control, and that fits the narrative that I am portraying. And there was a comfort in that.)

He grapples with his Beast constantly, whether it be the thing in him that claws and bites and growls, or with the soul he trapped within him by diablerie, he struggles constantly and almost constantly in vain against them. But still, the most terrifying thing is something he still hasn't yet found out: what was that voice in the Void, and what will happen when his control slips to distraction, and such Beasts are let go.

He accepts, or at least he thinks he accepts, what he is, what his Hunger is, what his Beasts are, but it's just a surface-level knowledge brought on by youth as to what the nature of the Hunger will be and what it will take for him to continue existence going forward.

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

He's been wounded physically tons of times. On the reg. It was part of his job when he was alive and it's his job essentially now by being the big bruiser of the Pack. His wounds are mostly still physical, but he has the emotional scarring of being who he was growing up, a son of a deeply disapproving, conservative-values father, a very low self-esteem, and all.

The worst wound though was when he realized that he "died" and he could never go back to his family. (Until he did)

[sinditia]

Starkercest Fic - Father's day edition

Server prompt by @starkly : Dubcon starkercest, once again porn inspired. Peter's ex is saying Peter will never be able to find someone other than them, and Peter wants to disprove that But... Peter doesn't have a boyfriend.... What he does have though is his dad, fast asleep in the other room.... He could pull down the blankets and his pants and take some selfies sucking dick, that would show his ex they're wrong. They don't have to know the dick belongs to his sleeping father

Additional warnings: 17-yo-Peter. Quentin Beck being a gaslighting shithead.

Word Count: 2.5k

--

Peter Stark storms through the penthouse, fuming, angry tears still prickling his eyes.

Quentin, that fucking asshole.

--

It’s a party. Peter had a few solo cups of plain Sprite in him and he needed to find a bathroom.

The door wasn’t even locked. That’s how little Quentin cared about getting caught. Peter pushed it open to find his boyfriend standing there with his dick in another girl’s mouth.

Neither looked particularly sorry. The girl just said, “whoops” then straightened her skirt and slipped out of there, leaving the two alone.

Quentin tucked himself back in, just sighing as he continued leaning against the bathroom counter like Peter had just deeply inconvenienced him by interrupting.

“What the fuck?!” Peter finally said, voice pitched a little too high and pathetic to be righteous.

Quentin sighed again. “Babe, look-“

“Don’t fucking call me that!”

“What the hell did you expect me to do, dragging me to a high school party?”

“Oh, I don’t know, not stick your dick in some-”

Quentin scoffed. “What, it’s not like you were gonna do anything about this.” He gestured offhandedly at his crotch. “I told you we should go to my place instead of this stupid party.”

“I wanted you to meet my friends!”

“And sit in a corner and talk about Legos or Star Trek or whatever all night? You’re not even drinking. Jesus, Pete, I had no idea you’re such a kid.”

Peter blinked, eyes burning. He’s not… But Quentin said…

“Look around, Pete. All the other seventeen-year-olds in here are having sex. Meanwhile you’re just sitting there, a bunch of sad virgins talking about nerd-shit.”

“I- I’m not,” Peter stammered, “I’m not a virgin. I’ve had sex with… with-”

“With me?” Quentin finished, pitying and mean. “When you just laid there like a starfish and made me do all the work? That could barely be called ‘having sex’. My left hand does a better job getting me off than you.”

Peter blinked faster, tears starting to well up.

“Aw, baby,” Quentin cooed, but it sounded unkind, demeaning. He reached forward and cupped Peter’s cheek. Peter flinched but couldn’t muster the strength to push the other man away. “You know, that’s why I wanted us to go to my place tonight, work on your technique, get you a little better at it. But then you forced me to come here…” Quentin shrugs, pulling away.

Anger started to blossom under Peter’s hurt. “Are you actually trying to make it seem like it’s my fault you’re cheating on me?”

“Peter,” Quentin says, exaggeratedly all-patient like scolding a child, “when one person in a relationship can’t fulfil the other’s needs, it’s only natural that they look for it somewhere else. I think you should take this as an opportunity for self-reflection, some self-improvement. Don’t worry, baby, I can help you get better.”

Peter bristled. “You’re insane if you think I want anything to do with you after this. We’re over.”

“Oh sure, I’m insane.” Quentin actually laughed. “Babe, I’m the only one reasonable and understanding enough to actually put up with you. You think you’d actually find anyone willing to come near you, let alone fuck you?”

Peter wanted to punch Quentin square in the face but the tears were also threatening to fully cascade down his cheeks now so he did the only thing he had the strength to do.

He ran. He left the party and went home, his ex-boyfriend’s callous laughter and cruel eyes echoing in his mind.

--

“Dad!” Peter’s cry echoes through the quiet, dark foyer. He sniffles as he wanders the penthouse, wanting his dad’s strong arms around him. Tony is always there for his son, ready to comfort him whenever he’s upset. “Daddy, where are you?”

Peter finds the door to the liquor cabinet hanging open and a half-empty Glenfiddich sitting on the counter. He sighs sadly. His father’s been drinking. Judging from the silence replying his calls, Tony is probably passed out somewhere.

Peter heads to his dad’s bedroom, opening the door slowly as he peers inside. Tony’s room is never locked. Peter is always welcome to come inside, slip under the covers at night and sleep with him whenever he needed comfort. Nightmares and thunderstorms don’t seem so scary when he had his dad’s warm, protective body curled around him.

Peter’s feet are quiet on the carpets as he steps inside the bedroom. Through the darkness he sees an empty glass on the bedside. Tony is fast asleep, shirtless, but Peter knows he’s wearing boxer briefs under the blankets covering him from the waist down. That’s how his dad usually sleeps, even when he’s wasted.

Peter climbs into the bed, the king-size having plenty of space for him. He snuggles close, taking in his dad’s natural, musky scent under the faint remnants of sandalwood cologne and the boozy scotch in his breath. Peter feels better already though he wishes his dad would hug him, squeeze him tight and tell him everything would be alright in his low soothing voice.

“I had a bad day, Daddy,” Peter whispers to the slow heaves of his dad’s bare chest.

Tony doesn’t answer, still out cold.

Peter sighs, restless. He takes out his phone, intending to text his friends, apologize for taking off so suddenly, but sees a text from Quentin instead.

let me know when you’ve come to your senses. I’ll help you work things out.

Peter buries his face in the pillows and stifles a scream. That fucking sociopath really thinks he’s god’s gift to humanity, like he’s doing Peter the world’s biggest favour by being with him. Like there’s no other choice, like Peter won’t find someone other than him.

Is he right? An anxious little voice in Peter’s brain keeps asking. The only guy who’s ever shown interest in him is Quentin. He’s never dated anyone before him. What if he never dates anyone ever again?

Peter whimpers unhappily, pressing his face into the muscle of his dad’s shoulder. If Tony was awake, he’d say all the right words to make Peter feel better. He’d understand Peter’s feelings even if he can’t relate to them.

Tony was a notorious playboy back in the day. Even now, Peter has seen enough people throwing themselves at his dad. He can’t really blame them. Tony can wear a three-piece suit like no one else. He looks powerful and capable, beautiful and expensive. Unlike his son, Tony can have anyone he wants. But his dad has never taken up any of the offers, not since Peter’s mother ran off. It pleases Peter, secretly. He doesn’t want to share his perfect dad with anyone else.

His perfect dad.

Peter studies Tony’s sleeping face. So handsome. Peter wonders if he’ll grow up to look like that, with those strong brows and chiselled jaw and impeccable facial hair. Peter takes more after his mother, it seems. Soft freckles, small nose, thin lips. Peter does share his dad’s brown eyes and dark lashes though. That’s Peter’s favourite feature of himself, the part that shows he belongs to his dad.

Peter traces a hand down his dad’s chest, admiring the contours of his pectorals, down to the hint of abs covered by a healthy pudge that Peter shouldn’t find so, incredibly attractive. He follows the captivating trail of dark hair that goes down, down, until it hides from Peter’s view under the waistband of dark red boxer briefs.

How many people have followed this path ‘til the end? Peter wonders, feeling coarse hairs through the thin fabric. How many people have seen where it goes?

Peter’s own situation down there isn’t much to look at. Barely any hair, unimpressive cock even when fully hard. Peter’s face burns with humiliation. No wonder nobody wants him.

Hell would freeze over a million times before he gets back together with Quentin though. Peter would rather be alone forever. He just wishes there was a way to get back at him, show that smug-faced asshole that Peter can do so much better. That someone out there wants him.

Peter realizes belatedly, that he’s been touching his dad’s… his dad. Down there.

Peter’s eyes flick up to his dad’s face but he’s still fast asleep. Tony makes a soft sound and shifts his hips but his eyes remain closed. A different part of him is waking up though. The part that Peter touched. The part that Peter is still touching.

It grows. Firmer. Bigger. Until the tip is straining against the waist band.

And Peter is still touching it.

Now here’s a cock that wants him, Peter thinks, giddy at the thought that he can have an effect like this to a man as incredible as his dad. Wish Quentin could see this. That’d show him.

Peter could, though. He could show him. The phone is back in his hand before his brain catches up with him. His other hand hesitates only slightly before tugging the waist band of his dad’s boxer briefs down.

Oh God.

His dad is magnificently hard, impressively large, the most beautiful cock he’s ever seen, in real life and in porn. It feels natural for Peter to wrap his fingers around the length, give it a stroke, like it’s exactly what he’s supposed to do, like he’s made for it.

Tony sighs in his sleep, a content sound. His expression is slack, mouth curled into a slight smile like he’s having a nice dream. A slight twist on the upstroke has a bead of pearly liquid emerging from the tip. Instinctively, Peter leans down and laps it up. It’s a salty burst on his tongue and he moans at the taste, while Tony grunts and bucks his hips.

Peter grins, pleased. Okay, sure, he’s always been a little bit of a daddy’s boy, always eager to please. He works hard at school, gets good grades, all so he can come home and show his dad, see those eyes light up with pride. When his dad comes home from work all tired, Peter likes to rub his shoulders, make him feel better, and his dad would hold him, kiss him, tell him he’s the best. Peter loves making his daddy happy.

And Tony isn’t just Peter Stark’s dad. Tony Stark is a man. A handsome, wonderful, perfect… sexy man. And Peter is making him feel good.

Take that, Quentin. Peter opens the camera app on his phone.

Careful not to let Tony’s face in the frame, Peter angles the lens so that it catches his face, right above the man’s hard cock. Oh wow, his dad looks so big in Peter’s small hand. Peter clenches low in his gut at the sight of it. Peter puts his mouth on the shaft, licking, lapping up and down, clicking the shutter the whole time.

“Oh fuck.”

Startled, Peter looks up, fearing that he’s caught.

Tony’s eyelids flutter but don’t open. He’s still breathing deeply, albeit a little faster. He’s still asleep.

Peter huffs, relieved. He checks his photo gallery to see if he’s gotten some good shots.

“Mmm, baby…” Tony whines in his sleep, pelvis twitching against the cold air.

Peter stifles a giggle. “Sorry, Daddy,” he whispers, more apologetic about leaving his dad hanging than actually taking advantage of him.

Peter changes positions so that he can see his dad’s face while he’s doing this. Peter suckles the tip, lapping up any pre-cum that’s slipped out, before sinking down to try and take the whole length into his mouth. Tony is so big though that he’s hit the far end of Peter’s mouth with only half of it inside.

Peter bobs his head, getting a little more in deeper every time but never quite bottoming out so Peter strokes and rubs the part that he can’t fit into his mouth. Tony lets out a heavy sound each time Peter sinks down on him, hips twitching, abs flexing, chasing the pleasure his son is giving him. Peter is getting hard now too, turned on at the thought of making his daddy feel good. He squirms on the bed, grinding his achy, little cock against the mattress.

Peter fumbles for his phone, wanting to capture on camera the way his dad wants him, wanting to show off to his bastard of an ex-boyfriend just how fucking skilled and desirable and sexy he is. How it’s Quentin’s not Peter’s loss that they broke up and-

Peter chokes in surprise as two large hands wrap around his head and pushes him down, forcing the cock in his mouth to slip down his throat. There’s deep groaning sounds from the direction of the headboard as Tony starts thrusting into his son’s mouth, hard and fast. Peter drops the phone, only able to hang on to his dad’s thighs helplessly as he’s face-fucked within an inch of his life. The spill of thick, bitter cum in his mouth is sudden and brimming and while Peter’s throat convulses on instinct to swallow, some still escape his lips and drip down his chin.

Peter pulls off as soon as he feels the grip on his head relinquish.

“Daddy?” Peter coughs, voice raspy and breathless. He looks up but astonishingly, Tony continues to sleep, snoring softly. Peter lets out a giggle, a little hysterical with relief and the absurdity of it all.

Peter rummages the bed for his phone and finds it, looking at himself through the front camera. There’s cum – his dad’s cum – on his face, painting his lips, smearing across his cheek. It looks fucking good on him.

Peter leans down to take a selfie of his cum-splattered face right next to his dad’s spent cock. He sticks out his tongue to scoop up some leftover cum from the tip of that softening cock and takes a photo of that too. Yeah, he looks good like that. That one’s his favourite, he thinks. He sends that photo to Quentin.

let me know when you’ve come to your senses. I’ll help you work things out.

work THIS out, shithead, Peter replies.

--

this was supposed to be about 6k, then things happened and i lost steam. so there may be a second part to this where tony catches peter doing it again and i wrote like half of it already. i'll pick it up again if i get my zeal for writing back.

[filthyrottenworm]

🪱oh my! What’s this, our third intro post? Lawl, this time it’s complete. I don’t really want to rewrite everything again. TLDW we’re bad for you, we have every red flag in existence, we love hard. Diagnosed with DiD. Not pro or anti anything, we care very little about discourse. We want friends. Love of all things taboo.

Every alter uses a different emoji to indicate that they’re fronting. We call these “proxies”. I’ll make a list of the alters that’ll use this account. I’m Tazelein, btw.

🐁Fobi, it/she/they. Little prey. Skittish and nervous, fervently decides when we need to leave a situation. Has an overwhelming will to run and/or hide, depending on the nature of the threat it senses. She is our survival instincts and her only goal is keeping us alive. They won’t be convinced to stay in a dangerous situation, no matter what. I appreciate its desire to keep us alive, but its risk-aversion is a bit disappointing.

🦇Grim, it/any. A cutely fascinating specimen! Has a fascination with torture and abuse, just like me, but in a very different way. Can only process love through being hurt. Has an immense well of self-loathing, guilt, and shame. Hates us, but in a way that it desperately craves approval to fill the pit of self-loathing. Unfortunately, nothing ever will. Panics and lashes out desperately at any sign of betrayal or abandonment.

🎊Jynx, any. My cute niece! Well, he’s all grown up now, and really I couldn’t be more proud. Unless he was my own offspring, then I’d be more proud. She’s got a god complex and a strong desire to rule the world and make it all burn. Describes herself as a spiteful smiter. Vengeful and petty and all those good things. It also craves approval, but in the sense that it’ll destroy everyone who doesn’t worship it.

🚀Oscar, he/him. Bitter and angry, he’s completely done with relationships. Believes our system would be better off by ourselves, without anyone else. He’ll be cold and blunt. Holds no punches. He does, however, hold grudges. Will point out everything he doesn’t like about you, and everything he doesn’t like about us, and everything he thinks you won’t like about us, in an attempt to drive you away.

🥀Quasiren, they/them. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss! They will do whatever they deem necessary to get what they think the system needs. Right now, that’s relationships! Friendships, or romance if necessary. They specifically want very intense, codependent relationships. Maybe even toxic ones! Formerly 🌟

🥩Raptorse, it/its. Our carnivore. Really more of an omnivore, it’ll eat anything, but it’s particularly obsessed with eating moving things. Very animalistic, views everything that moves as food. Constantly hungry and won’t hesitate to bite down. Sometimes goes digging outside and swallows live insects. Only really fronts when we’re hungry, and we usually aren’t hungry, unless Quasi tries to starve us <3

🎆Starbound, she/any. Our righteous anger! Won’t hesitate to jump to defending one of our alters, even those she doesn’t like, if she thinks someone is wronging us in some way. Will even defend people outside of the system. She can get a bit violent, aggressive, and intense, though. To the point where she won’t stop at anything to prove a point.

🪱Tazelein, he/any. Me! Yours truly. The one and only. The marvelous! I value life and suffering. If I had my way, everyone would live forever and suffer forever. No one would ever die. Everyone would suffer with me, forever! I hate death with a burning passion that you wouldn’t believe.

🕊️Utopia, they/them. My grandchild! Also all grown. Has a fascination with religions. Wants to start their own. Is confident that they can make the world a better place if they were in charge of it, and desires to rule the world, but for different reasons than Jynx. Genuinely believes they can make the world the better place.

🦠Vitriol, it/its. All of the system’s self-loathing, guilt, shame, and suicidal ideation rolled into one. Hates our system more than anything in the world and believes we’re the scum of the earth. Wants to kill us feverishly. Has the ideology that we’ll abuse people if we aren’t killed off, and that’s a horrible and evil and bad thing. Personally, I don’t care about abuse, and I don’t think we should die, but Vitriol vehemently believes that we’re evil. Will push people away with the intention of protecting them from us, rather than protecting us from them (like Oscar).

🕸️Webber, any. My son! She’s such a wonderful cutiepie sweetheart. My darling Websie. Has the intent of keeping people in our lives at all costs to us and them. Hates abandonment and goodbyes and won’t let anyone go. For that reason, he is fascinated by kidnapping, stalking, and physical restraints. Doesn’t want to hurt anyone, however, and holds quite a lot of guilt for our actions. It doesn’t want to make people suffer or use people, it just doesn’t want to be abandoned.

🔥Xray, he/xe (xe/xim/xis, like he/him/his). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 1/3. God of destruction. Represented by fire, the sun, death, light, sharp angles, spikes, stone, blades, gore, and metal. Values truth, bravery, closure, curiosity, finality, persistence, and order. Has a composed demeanor and authoritative role in the system.

🌲Yarrow, it/they/yey (yey/yem/yeir, like they/them/their). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 2/3. Goddex of transformation. Represented by greenery, clouds, fungi, insects, the moon, mirrors, frost, trees, armor, and mountains. Values empathy, change, introspection, attentiveness, observation, rebellion, and protection. Has a guarded demeanor and informative role in the system.

🌊Zenith, ze/zer (ze/zer/zers, like she/her/hers). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 3/3. Goddess of creation. Represented by the ocean, cosmos, feathers, fur, scales, flowers, rainbows, shadows, eggs, and pens. Values humility, kindness, creativity, adventure, exertion, passion, and beauty. Has a loving demeanor and supportive role in the system.

[mister-brightside]

I finally, FINALLY finished season one of the sandman tv series and speaking as a fan of the comics I loved it so much. my long and winding thoughts (with minor spoilers) under the cut.

it was really refreshing to have so much trust in the creators. by the last few episodes I’d be like, I can’t wait for them to get to this scene, and then the scene happened, and it would be so good and so spicy.

for ages literally every comics fan (myself included) was saying that a good and faithful adaptation would be impossible. I was actually fully prepared to pass over the tv series cause there was no way they could pull it off, right? thank god some reviewer on reddit changed my mind, because I’m so delighted to be proven wrong for once. it’s honestly crazy impressive how well they took all these disjointed narratives and somehow made them tonally consistent but still kept the edges. I thought maybe they’d skip the more out of line stories, like the one with the cats or the massacre in the diner, but they really went there. in fact I reread some of the comics after the episodes and I was really surprised to find that they lifted quite a bit of dialogue word for word.

(I love how hob gadling’s story was basically retold verbatim EXCEPT they went out of their way to make the breakup a million times more angsty)

there were so many throwbacks and visual references to the comics which were really lovely and never felt forced. and speaking of visuals, the show is as good as you’re gonna get for a production this size. I was worried it was gonna be a CGI mess and, well, it does veer on that edge at times, but most of the cinematography and effects are truly gorgeous and in the end it’s the actors who keep me connected to the heart of the story.

when I first saw photos of morpheus I was like what the hell? they’re just making him look like Some Guy? but my god tom sturridge knocks it out of the park. he’s absolutely perfect. he sold me immediately. someone else said that when he’s imprisoned in the glass cage he moves almost like a creature and they’re dead on. he does a spectacular job of convincing me he’s not human.

so in the end I think the decision to humanise morpheus’s appearance was absolutely the right one. I always found his character in the comics to be a bit distant because yeah, at times he can be arrogant and self-righteous and somewhat terrifying since he’s so unreadable. and that doesn’t change in the transition to the screen but having tom as he is (with those sad, sad, pathetic, emo eyes) softens his edges a little, you know? he makes you feel for him a bit more.

and I’ve said this before but it’s like. I never really pictured a specific voice when reading the comics, but all of morpheus’s dialogue comes in these special black speech bubbles so you know he’s Different. and as soon as tom’s voiceover began in episode one it felt Right. almost like it had been buried in my subconscious for all these years. insane.

(I kind of want to watch more of tom’s roles but I literally can’t imagine him as anyone other than dream of the endless, like I’m afraid to even google him because it would probably break my brain to see him behaving like a normal human person)

the rest of the cast is fantastic as well. the highlights for me: gwendoline christie as lucifer – chef’s kiss. kirby baptiste-howell as death – for real though, if I met her when I died, I wouldn’t feel too bad about it. david thewlis adds a layer of nuance to john dee that somehow makes him quite sympathetic despite the complete lunacy. vanesu samunyai is very cute and likeable as rose and I hope the show sticks around long enough for her to make her return. likewise, lily travers is really sweet as barbie and I think she’d be a really good lead if her storyline ever comes around.

okay, time for the nitpicking. I do wish they’d cast someone older as lucien, he always had this exhausted ‘no one helps me in this house’ vibe that I just don’t get from vivienne acheampong. and I think boyd holbrook needed to be a little more maniacal as the corinthian. oh well, it’s not like we can have everything. and both actors do a great job as they are so I’m not gonna whine too much.

(if this was 2014 tumblr I probably would be seeing extremely, uh, controversial takes on the corinthian but I haven’t come across any yet thank god)

I’m really hoping the show gets more seasons because it’s doing a wonderful job of bringing all the stories to life. I hope enough casual viewers stick around because I know the lack of narrative structure will throw a lot of people off. in the comics, some characters turn up once and never again, some wander in and out, others leave the story only to show up again several volumes later. some stories last for only a chapter and others go on for ages. and the genre swings from urban fantasy to historical fiction to horror to straight up batshit insanity and everything in between.

but in the end that’s what makes the sandman one of my favourite comics ever. every time I read it I feel like I’ve experienced a big fever dream. and like a dream it promptly fades until I literally forget why I love it so much. then I reread it again and I’m like, oh yeah, that’s why.

so I don’t know how to say it better than this: the show FEELS like the sandman. and that’s all I can ask for.

[borntobecheap]

"Look, one of the things about this country I really can't stand? It's the lack of accountability.

Everything wrong with an American's life is somebody else's fault. All these smokers raking in millions of dollars in damages from tobacco companies, when, what, they've known the risks for forty years. Can't quit?

Stick it to Philip Morris. Next thing you know, fat people will be suing fast-food companies because they've eaten too many Big Macs!" I paused, catching myself. "I realize you've heard this before."

Kevin was winding me up, of course, like a toy. He had the same intent, mischievous expression I'd seen recently on a boy making his model race car hurtle off the rocks in Tallman Park by remote control. "Once or twice," he allowed, repressing a smile.

"Power walkers," I said.

"What about them."

"They drive me insane." Of course, he'd heard this, too. But he hadn't heard this, because until then I hadn't quite put it together: "People around here can't just go for a walk, they have to be getting with some kind of program. And you know, this may be at the heart of it, what's my beef?.

All those intangibles of life, the really good but really elusive stuff that makes life worth living- Americans seem to believe they can all be obtained by joining a group, or signing up to as unscription, or going on a special diet, or undergoing aroma therapy. if not just that Americans think they can buy everything; they think that if you follow the instructions on the label, the product has to work. Then when the product doesn't work and they 'e still unhappy even though the right to happiness is enshrined in the Constitution, they sue the bejesus out of each other"

"What do you mean, intangibles," said Kevin.

"Whatever, as your friends would say. Love— joy-insight." (To Kevin, I could as well have been talking about little green men on the moon.)

"But you can't order them on the Internet or learn them in a course at the New School or look them up in a How-To. It's not that easy, or maybe it is easy ... so easy that trying, following the directions, gets in the way…

I don't know."

Kevin was doodling furiously on the tablecloth with his crayon. "Anything else?"

"Of course there's anything else," I said, feeling the momentum that gets rolling in those plane chats when I finally get access to the library in my head, remembering Madame Bovary, and Jude the Obscure, and A Passage to India, "Americans are fat, inarticulate, and ignorant. They're demanding, imperious, and spoiled. They're self-righteous and superior about their precious democracy, and condescending toward other nationalities because they think they've got it right—never mind that half the adult population doesn't vote. And they're boastful, too. Believe it or not, in Europe it isn't considered acceptable to foist on new acquaintances right off the bat that you went to Harvard and you own a big house and what it cost and which celebrities come to dinner. And Americans never pick up, either, that in some places it's considered crass to share your taste for anal sex with someone at a cocktail party you've known for five minutes— since the whole concept of privacy here has fallen by the wayside. That's because Americans are trusting to a fault, innocent in a way that makes you stupid. Worst of all, they have no idea that the rest of the world can't stand them." I was talking too loudly for such a small establishment and such abrasive sentiments, but I was strangely exhilarated. This was the first time that Id been able to really talk to my son, and I hoped that we'd crossed the Rubicon. At last I was able to confide things that I well and truly believed, and not just lecture—please don't pick the Corleys' prize-winning roses.

Granted, 'd begun in a childishly inept way, asking how's school, while he mas che one whod conducted our talk like a competent adult, drawing out his companion. But as a consequence I was proud of him. I was just fashioning a remark along these lines, when Kevin, who had been scribbling intently on the tablecloth with that crayon, finished whatevet he was draw-ing, looked up, and nodded at the scrawl.

"Wow," he said. "That's a whole lot of adjectives."

Attention deficit disorder in a pigs eye. Kevin was an able student when he bothered, and he hadn't been doodling; hed been taking notes.

"Let's see," he said, and proceeded to check off successive elements of his list with his red crayon. "Spoiled. You're rich. I'm not too sure what you think you're doing without, but I bet you could afford it. Imperious. Pretty good description of that speech just now; if I was you, I wouldn't order dessert, 'cause you can bet the waiter's gonna hawk a loogie in your raspberry sauce. Inarticulate Lemme see ... " He searched the tablecloth, and read aloud, "I's not that easy, or maybe it is easy, I don't know. I don't call that Shakespeare myself. Also, seems to me I'm sitting across from the lady who goes on these long rants about 'reality TV' when she's never watched a single show. And that-one of your favorite words, Mumsey—is ignorant. Next: boasting. What was all that these-dumb-fucks-suck-dead-moose-dick-and-I'm-so-much-cooler-than-them if it wasn't showing off? Like somebody who thinks she's got it right and nobody else does. Trusting ... with no idea other people can't stand them." He underscored this one and then looked me in the eye with naked dislike. "Well. Far as I can tell, about the only thing that keeps you and the other dumb-ass Americans from being peas in a pod is you're not Jat. And just because you're skinny you act self-rigbeous condescending and superior. Maybe I'd rather have a big cow of a mother who at least didn't think she was better than everybody else in the fucking country!"

We need to talk about Kevin

[kiss-my-freckle]

I hate how so many SE fans and KC fans hate on Damon for every little thing and use the sirebond against Delena but think Ch*ck is better than Damon. If you compare the TVD reddit to the GG one which is hell for DE fans many people who shit on Damon defend Chuck saying that the pilot isn't canon which is ridiculous itself since his pilot actions are referenced later and he continues to treat women badly. They say Damon never apologized to any woman and that Chuck is better in that which is laughable. Chuck never apologized for trying to coerce Serena into sex. He forced himself on Jenny even though she said no multiple times and told her to be quiet and restrained her until her brother (Dan) found her. He made a creepy comment to Dan after saying "Ah, yes, little Jenny. Do believe she and I have some unfinished business." He also said this later (and no his pants weren't off):"Little Jenny Humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it. Quite the accomplishment."And Blair disgustingly responds like this "Good thing someone else at the party was as lecherous as you or you'd still be up on that roof." After Dan told him to stay away from her he called her and Serena sluts. He said this about Serena: "There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated." He also told Blair's boyfriend at the time (Nate) to take Blair's virginity since he was entitled to tap her ass. He ended up taking it instead and slutshamed her by saying she was beautiful when she was untouched and now she was like a horse rode hard and put away wet. When she said you're all I have left he said you don't even have me and that he doesn't see why anyone else would want her. Traded her for a hotel to his creepy uncle who slept with her when she was a teen and who forced himself on his stepmom. They claim he apologized for that but his apology was seasons later and vague by saying "I'm sorry for treating you like property," when there were other things that fit that and he continued to disrespect her after. She said she felt like a weak little girl with him and that she didn't like who she became with him, like how Elena said she felt like a broken toy with Stefan. Or how Caroline said she didn't feel like herself with Klaus. He also cheated on her by taking Jenny's virginity when Jenny was drunk and upset. He apologized to Jenny before sex episodes before but he vaguely said I'm sorry for how I treated you that night instead of specifically apologizing. He never apologized to Serena even though her sa was worse. Blair's reaction right after finding out about the way he treated them was insensitive and she never apologized. Instead she bullied Jenny and kicked her out of the city after he cheated. She also slutshamed any women who looked in his direction. He was accused of sexual harassment by his employees which he denied and she called those women moneygrabbers. He was emotionally abusive doing things like standing her up while expecting her to chase him, kissed her assuming she dumped her bf for him then grabbed her and punched the window behind her while drunk after, like Stefan in 1x19. Impulsively killed his father, another parallel he shares with Stefan. He also creepily said he liked the minor Nate was sleeping with after she said she didn't mind if he saw them having sex in the last fucking season. Blair also made a disgusting comment about Dan being manipulated and taken advantage of while drunk and being filmed without his consent, saying in order to claim date **** you have to say no and hit him, but she's not nearly as hated as Elena. She also publicly outed him as a victim of his high school teacher for her own agenda. Why people ship them believing DE are worse and harass DE fans, and say Damon doesn't respect Elena's autonomy is beyond me. They don't like Dan for his self righteousness but love Stefan who's more self righteous.

I don't know who Chuck is. What I do know is that I don't excuse Damon's actions, but I do understand them according to how he's written. That's why I can't hate him or his actions. They're part of his journey as the very brother Stefan loves. I can so much as differentiate his actions based on Katherine's impact vs Sage's impact, Stefan's impact vs Elena's impact. For instance… Damon's actions at the end of 1x3 was all in response to Stefan, and one of the many instances in which they show a character's words affecting his actions. He's in Elena's room because of Stefan's words.

"Because deep down inside, there is a part of you that feels for her. I was worried that you had no humanity left inside of you, that you may have actually become the monster that you pretend to be."

It's one thing for Elena to be the voice of Damon's humanity, and another for Stefan to lead him to the voice of his humanity. Similar to Stefan using Elena to reach Damon in 8x2 as he knows she's the voice of his humanity. Fans can hate Damon all they want, but… the warm, kind, caring, compassionate, selfless person Stefan describes Elena to be ends up with Damon. That doesn't speak to Elena's character, but to Damon's, to the man Damon himself told her she would've liked in 1864. The very truth Damon knows of himself. The very brother Stefan himself looked up to. That's why I tell my followers they should question where Stefan got his "hero hair" because Damon was the one going off to war while Stefan stayed home with their father. That's why Stefan turns to Damon for love advice from Damon when he falls for Caroline. Why he turns to Damon and asks if he feels guilt. Why he turns to Damon and asks if he believes in redemption. Damon is the brother he looks up to, despite Stefan hating it when he acts a vampire. There's nothing a fan can say to me to make me change my mind about Damon. There's a quote on The Blacklist that's perfectly suited for Damon's character... "You can't judge a book by its cover. But you can by its first few chapters, and certainly by its last."

[despairandregretentertainment]

Welcome To The Last Supper || Capernica || RE: Vote results

.... This was.... painfully close. Painfully so. As she watched the results, her first instinctual response was anger, as she muttered under her breath with pressured speech, something entirely unintelligible as her posture shrunk. After a moment of thinking to herself, she adjusted herself and spoke up.

"You'll fucking regret this. One person's votes could have made a difference. One. You'll fucking regret this for the rest of your goddamn lives, as this bitch gets to walk around free to abuse money and abuse employees. Your standards are shit. And your self-righteous morals mean nothing, when the actions made outside of this damn televised show should matter more within. When someone who lashes out is more of a danger then someone who was going to leave."

Willow vaguely addressed, Iroha whipped her head around to Willow with furrowed brows. "By the way, changed? Don't fucking lie to me. You threatened to stab Sorano-sama literally less than a week ago. And when I approached you about it, you insisted you did nothing wrong. You haven't changed a fucking bit, and I'm sure everyone's gonna see I was right soon enough. Stop pretending to be a good, changed, wholesome person when you don't give a shit about anyone else's safety. By the way, I wanted to kill you. Not Peach-sama. He was just in the wrong place wrong time and made the wrong calls," she spat in Willow's direction. "You don't fucking deserve to breathe."

She paused, shifting topics slightly. "... Listen, I don't know what TE is going to tell you after my imminent death, but before you jump to any assumptions, I put my money where my mouth is. A significant portion of funding I've gotten for work I've done has anonymously gone into cancer research charity and bettering the lives of other prostitutes. I've only kept what I needed to survive, and a small amount of extra spending money. I can't make anyone here think of my fondly after what's to come, but I'm not greedy, nor do I go against my morals... I just want the world to be a better place for good people to live in, no matter how much I have to dirty my own hands."  Iroha smiled weakly, though seemingly genuine, as she adjusted the placement of the wig on her head.

Cappy turned to Rafe, reaching over Soran to momentarily hold his hand. "And I'm glad I've managed to improve yours, even if only a little. Tell your mother I said hello and that she raised a wonderful son."

Taking in another breath, parsing together how to address the others, her eyes fell on Kei momentarily, mouth closed. What to even say here? ... She had nothing to say, did she? ... Kei would have to reevaluate her morals on her own. Cappy moved on without saying a word.

"... Chris-sama, thank you for being wonderful company and listening to me when I needed to vent. I do trust you a lot, darling. Please take care." She gave a nod.

As far as Jun went, well... She'd already said her piece to Jun, and she could take a guess as to where he voted. There was nothing left to say there, either. Iroha simply nodded, stood to her feet, and returned the stuffed dog to Aurora before siting back down by Sorano.

After a brief moment, she leaned over to kiss Sorano's forehead and whispered in their ear, wrapping one arm around their shoulder for some form of comfort for what she was about to deal with after her 15 minutes were to pass.

Shuddering, she controlled her breathing. "If it's any solace, Forget, I wanted to kill your fucking family, too. I wanted all of those bastards dead. Guess I won't have the chance now, huh? Your loss." A small laugh bubbled up. "It's funny, you know? That you thought you were safer here, since your sister couldn't send any hitmen after you. You're surprisingly naïve." Hhhaahh... Cappy wiped under one of her eyes with her glove. "How many do you think there are here right now, hm? Hitmen? How many do you think she's paid? Who's tried getting close to you with the wrong intentions, what do you think? Who's trying to get you to lower your guard? What made you think there weren't any here with you, huh?" Iroha smirked in Willow's direction. 

Iroha silently pulled out her phone and began typing into it in silence, offering no explanation. After enough time passed, she slipped her phone back into her bra like nothing happened.

[whisker-biscuit]

The Birds, The Bees, and The Bottles

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T for mild language and discussions of underage drinking

Summary: Two teens are caught trying to sneak into a bar. Bob finally has a conversation he’s held off for far too long.

Because herbaphony is not the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family.

-------------------------------------

Bob’s phone rang at two in the morning. Judging by the jolly ringtone of Helmut singing Strawberry Fields Forever, it was his personal phone instead of his work one, and that was the real tip off to things being very, very wrong.

He woke up and groggily pulled out of his still-slumbering-husband’s arms to answer the little thing going off on his nightstand.

“H’lo?”

“Bob!” Truman’s voice came out far too loud for the time of night, and far too stressed. “Bob, I’m so sorry to wake you, but something happened with Lili. I need you to pick her up for me, please.”

The older man sat up, much more awake as worry and fear immediately rolled in his gut. Helmut finally began to stir beside him, sensing his partner’s agitation.

“Truman, what’s going on? Pick Lili up from where?”

“The city’s police precinct on Abbey Avenue. She – she called me, but I’m out of state and I wouldn’t get there for hours at least even if I left this instant. She’s not in danger!” He added hastily, hearing the concern before Bob could even voice it mentally. “She didn’t get hurt! She’s just…”

The way he tapered off, the way he hesitated, said more than words could.

“She just got herself into some trouble, and she needs someone to go get her.”

Helmut was sitting up now, and Bob felt the question cross their mental link.

 What happened?

 Truman needs me to pick Lili up from the police station.

“I’m up, I’m on my way right now,” He responded to his nephew verbally, heaving himself out of bed. His husband followed suit despite still looking extremely puzzled, bless him.

“Thank you so much, Bob. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The older man waved a dismissive hand even though Truman wasn’t there to see it. “Family is s’pposed to do that for each other anyway.”

“Did I hear that right? Our peppy petunia had a run-in with the law?” Helmut asked as soon as his partner hung up. He paused, and in a lower tone – “she didn’t kill anyone, did she?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious,” Bob said, pulling a coat on over his sleep shirt. “But something tells me we still have a few things to worry about. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Ohohoh, no, don’t even think about hoofin’ it without me. We both know I’m the better driver.”

“Neither of us are very good drivers, Helmut.”

“Exactly! That little bit makes all the difference!”

The herbophanist sighed, charmed despite himself and the situation. “Alright, alright. Let’s not keep her waiting.”

The police precinct was nearly dead at this time of night. While it would’ve felt eerie to anyone else, Bob was grateful for the lack of people, and not just because he was still an introvert of the highest degree.

Two teenagers awaited them in the lobby, sitting on a bench together. One was hunched over and burning a hole in the ground with his downcast eyes. The other sat straight up, defiant, holding a glaring contest with the officer standing over them. When Bob entered the room first and met his great-niece’s eyes, her self-assuredness wavered for a brief moment. She hid the slip-up behind a wall of indifference.

“Lili,” he said softly. Then, just as softly but with a gruff tinge of surprise; “Razputin.”

There was no accusation in his voice, but the former scowled harder and the latter looked like he wanted to employ his invisibility. Bob studied them both a moment before his husband appeared and broke the tension with his mere presence.

“We’re here to bust you out, kiddos!” He announced with spread arms, cheerfully ignoring the looks he received from every person in the room.

“Are you Truman Zanotto?” Asked the officer who finally broke his gaze away from Lili to give them a disapproving once-over.

“No, I’m uh, I’m Bob Zanotto, and this is Helmut,” came the awkward reply. “Truman called me to pick Lili up. She’s my great-niece.”

A few seconds of silence passed as the officer made no move to do anything with that information. Bob cleared his throat.

“We’re, uh, listed in her emergency contacts for school?”

“I see. If you can just fill out some paperwork first, we can release her into your custody.”

The herbophanist watched the way Raz seemed to sink further in his seat at the mention of family contacts. The Aquatos were also out of state right now too, if he remembered correctly. Perfect timing for two minors getting up to mischief.

Well, up until they were actually caught.

“And…Razputin, too?” He asked, catching the teen’s startled gaze and giving him the mental equivalent of a thumbs-up.

The officer raised a brow. “Is he related to you, too?”

“Well, uh –”

“Yep!” Helmut interrupted, strolling right up to Raz and giving him a merry clap on the back. The teen had a physique comparable to most adult Olympic athletes, but even he nearly toppled forward from the force of such a big man. “He’s my third cousin, twice removed. Big family. Very close. Holidays are an experience, lemme tell ya!”

“Fine,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, okay, I’ll make sure he gets cleared for release too. I’ll be right back.”

He stalked off, muttering something about it ‘being too damn early for this’, and the older couple turned to face Raz and Lili. Helmut steepled his fingers together to rest against his mustache.

“So! Now that Officer Spoil-Sport is gone, are we allowed to know what heinous crime has been committed in the night by my favorite pair of mischief-makers?”

The two glanced at each other. Raz was the one to break their silence.

“We, uh…got caught sneaking into a bar.”

Cold heat rushed through Bob’s core. Helmut blinked once, twice, then let out a boisterous chuckle.

“That’s it? Jesus! From the way you two were acting I thought you’d robbed the First National Bank.”

“…Helmut.” His husband murmured. The psi-king lost his mirth as he caught Bob’s eye.

“Ah…w-well, y’know, while I’m certainly glad we won’t hear about a righteous homicide in the news tomorrow, forgery ain’t exactly a humble hobby either.”

“It was just two IDs,” Lili muttered under her breath. “Not a big deal.”

The ice in her great-uncle’s heart turned frigid, but before he or Helmut could say anything to that, the officer was back. He shoved a handful of forms under Bob’s nose and the herbophanist fumbled to grab them before they all tumbled to the floor.

“Uh, uh, thank you.”

“Alright, we’re putting the pause on this conversation to make you free citizens again, but don’t think that means we’re done with it.” The Psi-King gave the teens the sternest look he could manage. “As soon as we get in the car, you two will have a lot of explaining to do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Uh-huh.”

------------------------------------

No one spoke a word as they got in the car and started the drive back.

Raz seemed content to continue his efforts to blend in with the background of his seat, still not meeting anyone’s eyes, and Lili stared out the window with her chin in her hand, leaning against the car’s backdoor and letting the lights of the city bathe her in neon sickness.

Helmut, bless his soul, dutifully kept the radio going while he drove, changing the station to something more mellow whenever a song started getting a little too upbeat for the collective mood of the vehicle. Bob sat in the passenger side with his arms folded awkwardly. His brain was buzzing, dreading the inevitable conversation he needed to have with his great-niece and trying to figure out how he was going to go about it.

It surprised them all when Raz spoke over the music.

“It was my idea.”

The two adults glanced at each other, then through the rearview mirror at the fidgeting teen.

“Your idea to go looking for a drink? Or to sneak into a bar to do it?” Helmut asked, turning off the radio.

“Both.”

He still wasn’t meeting their eyes. Bob sighed through his nose.

“I don’t believe you.”

Razputin’s head finally snapped up to stare at him in shock for the fast call on his bluff. “I’m telling the truth!”

“I think you’re only telling part of it, kid.”

“No! I’m telling all of it.”

“Razpu-”

“Oh, come off it, Raz,” Lili snapped a little too loud, making the whole car jump. “Quit trying to take the fall for me. It was my idea to try the stupid fake ID thing, okay? Happy now?”

“Wh – uh, who said anything about being happy about it?” Helmut asked, legitimately confused.

“Look. Neither of us had anything to do tonight, and we were bored, so Raz suggested getting a drink somewhere, but Adam and Lizzie are out of town so we couldn’t ask them.” She crossed her arms and spoke without any inflection. “So, we went out but no one would let us do anything cause we’re minors. I thought that was stupid, because we’re agents same as any of you, so I came up with the sneaking-in part. We only got caught cause one of the bartenders recognized Raz from a show.”

There were a lot of loaded things to parse through from that explanation, but Bob’s mind stalled on one particular detail.

“Adam and Lizzie give you two alcohol?”

“Not…often,” Raz admitted. “Just once or twice, when we asked.”

“Do you mean like, a literal once or twice, or a…an estimated once or twice?”

“Did Dad put you up to this?” Lili shot back. “It was just a few times, like he said. What’s with the inquisition?”

“…Lili –”

 “Raz.”

“Okay!” Helmut proclaimed as he slapped his hand against the steering wheel in boisterous aggression. “Who wants some ice cream?”

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Cause I’m really feeling some chocolate-vanilla swirl right now. Basic bitch style. Right? Who’s with me?”

Silence.

“Great! Look at that, open Dairy King right there, better take advantage of this opportunity before it slips through our fingers like the melting ice cream we’re all gonna have in about five minutes!”

The psi-king swung into the parking lot in a frenzy and herded the car crew inside before any of them could come out of their shock long enough to protest. It was only as Bob was staring up at fifteen flavors of oversaturated sugary goodness that he realized what had just happened.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief over his husband’s diversion. The tension that had been boiling over was cooled significantly by the sudden non-sequitur, and while the teens were rather half-hearted about picking out their sweet treats, there was no longer a risk of an explosion happening.

Metaphorically and literally.

Helmut caught his spouse’s eye with a meaningful look at Lili the moment all of them had their orders in hand, then slung his arm around Razputin’s shoulders and steered him away. “C’mon my lad! Nothing like the cool night air of three in the morning to keep your Hurricane ™ properly chilled!”

The poor boy had no choice but to let himself be pulled outside, leaving the two Zanottos standing awkwardly in the dingy restaurant. Bob gave a nervous scratch at his chin under his beard.

“How about we, uh, find a seat somewhere?”

Lili couldn’t fully cross her arms while holding ice cream, but she did a good job of making it work anyway. “Sure.”

They sat in a booth in the farthest corner from the front counter. Both great-niece and great-uncle stared at their respective sweet treats as if they could teleport them out of this situation. Bob glanced out the window and saw Helmut and Raz standing outside of the car. The former was on one knee with his hand on the teen’s shoulder, speaking earnestly but inaudibly, and the latter was scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the asphalt.

“Are you going to lecture me?” Lili finally cut through the silence.

Bob turned back to her. “No. Not really.”

“No?” She broke her gaze away from her ice cream just a little bit, eyeing him with surprise. “Then why did Helmut take Raz and leave us alone?”

She was so perceptive, so smart. And yet, still so young.

“Well, I… I still want to talk to you about what happened. I’m just not very, good, at this kind of thing.” He took his spoon and absentmindedly began drawing a flower in his soft-serve. “You already know what you did wasn’t a good idea, right? So I don’t think a lecture would help things any on that front.”

She didn’t respond. He continued.

“It’s less about the fake ID and more…the reasons you made the fake ID. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so, but I know what I’m doing, Uncle Bob. I’m not going to drink irresponsibly.”

The herbophanist shook his head. “But you’ll do irresponsible things to be able to drink in the first place.”

“That’s not –” Lili didn’t have a good rebuttal. She folded her arms and grumpily started eating her cherry chocolate delight. “Whatever. It’s two different things, anyway.”

Against his better judgement, Bob began picking at his own food as he thought about how best to bring the subject back up without making the teen defensive again. Spoons clicking against teeth was the only sound between them for a solid minute.

Finally, an epiphany.

“Did Truman ever…tell you anything, about your great-grandma?”

The girl paused with a bite halfway up to her mouth. She frowned, confused. “Grandma Tia? Not much. Just that she died when he was a baby.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.” He ran a tired hand over his face. The ache in his heart might have long-since healed into a scar, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when pressed. “She passed away when I was nineteen. The doctors told me it was liver failure.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Lili’s mouth thinned and she put her spoon down, uncomfortable.

“When I…found out the reason behind her death, I was horrified by it. It didn’t make sense to me why she would willingly do something that hurt her so badly, especially when I was right there to love her and help her. It felt like a betrayal that she never got help or made herself stop. I was…disgusted by the mere thought of doing anything like that.”

Bob took a moment to breathe and wipe his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but better safe than sorry.

“It sounds pretty hypocritical when I say it now, doesn’t it?”

His great-niece only gave him a hesitant look.

“Anyway, uh, where was I…” He worried his lip. “Oh, right. I told myself that I’d never touch the stuff after that. I was angry at what she’d done, and I was determined not to have the same ‘weakness’, so to speak. As you know, it, uh, it didn’t last long. I was at a college party barely a year later when I was invited by some friends to drink with them. I didn’t make human friends very easily back then – actually, I still don’t – so I was a little desperate to keep them. It turned out to be pretty hard whiskey, so I got hammered.”

The man leaned back in his seat, staring at the patterns in the booth table.

“Back then, no one really knew how alcoholism could run in a family. Everyone thought it was a personal choice to keep drinking. It wasn’t even classified as an addiction yet. So I didn’t know how susceptible I was, or how careful I had to be. I’d spend months not having a single drink, thinking I was fine and could handle myself, and then I’d get plastered for a week at parties and bars and God knows what else, and it would take me even longer to get myself to stop again. It was like that even when I was with Ford and his gang. It wasn’t until I started dating Helmut that I started trying to change those habits. I’d never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally that I wanted to be a better person for them, until him. And it worked for a while.

“Well, barring our wedding, of course. I got shitfaced at the reception. It was embarrassing afterwards, but Helmut told me it made our cake-eating ceremony a hell of a great time.”

Lili snorted, and it was accompanied by a tiny upturn of her lips. Then it dropped as her expression became solemn. “And then…everything with Maligula happened, right?”

“Yeah. I think you know the rest of that story.”

“Uh-huh.”

Great-niece and great-uncle sat together for a while, just thinking about it all.

“I know I have to be more careful drinking than a lot of people, Uncle Bob,” Lili finally said at length. “My dad warned me about it when I was old enough to ask.”

“Truman is a good dad,” he murmured in response.

“The best dad.”

“Definitely the best dad.”

More silence.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and him,” she continued. “Or scare you. I know it was dumb to do what we did tonight.”

Bob looked at her, and she gave a conceding sigh.

“Okay, it was dumb to do a lot of what we’ve been doing with this stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m not being careful.”

“Kid, it’s not always just a matter of being careful. I thought I was being careful. I thought that for years and years, and when I finally realized I wasn’t, I convinced myself I could stop any time I wanted to, and kept up the same patterns anyway. That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I’m just worried about you.”

Lili closed her eyes with a grimace. “I know. I’m sorry, Uncle Bob.”

“Hey, kiddo, look at me.” He waited until she did so. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not disappointed, either. That’s your dad’s job. I get it, is what I’m saying. It gives you a buzz, and it’s fun and exciting, and you just wanted to have a good time with your, uh…”

Bob leaned in a bit, and dropped his voice to a stage whisper.

“Is Raz still your boyfriend?”

“Wha –” her cheeks went red. “Yes, he is!”

“Alright, sorry, I’m just always out of the loop. No one ever tells me when these things change or not. Anyway,” he continued before she could get brighter than the cherries in her ice cream. “I’m just saying that you gotta be more than careful with this kind of thing. Everyone should be, really, but especially people like us. Plants aren’t the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family, unfortunately, so we just have to be aware of it and act accordingly.”

The teen turned this over in her mind. He could practically see the gears moving. When she looked at him again, it was with a slow, contemplative nod.

“No more late-night bar-hopping?” Her great-uncle asked.

“No more late-night bar-hopping.” She answered, sincere.

“Good.” He looked outside. Helmut and Raz were both lying on the front of the car, pointing out stars to each other. The sight made him smile. “Come on, we’ll work on that whole thing about Adam and Lizzie giving you alcohol another time, when it’s not three in the morning. For now, let’s rejoin our boys again and go get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Lili slid out of the booth and tentatively took her family member’s hand. His fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. “And...thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“Well, what can I say. Us weird Zanotto plant people hafta look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

They walked out together, hand-in-hand.

------------------------------

A/N: I knew from promotional material that we'd be going into the mind of someone struggling with alcoholism, but Bob's Bottles punched me hard in the gut. It's probably my favorite mind in the game, both because it's visually gorgeous and because it hit a little close to home with some of the themes, like generational alcoholism and how the addiction can make someone a shell of themselves.

I wrote half of this three weeks ago and then found myself really struggling to finish it because it brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I'd sorted through a long time ago.

Psychonauts, man.

[lucy-and-rebecca]

So I'm a spider so what?

I've been obsessed with this for a while now. This is the Isekai that puts most other Isekai to shame. It took me a while just to get my thoughts straight about this story because no matter what I wrote I couldn't fully express just what was it that made Spider so damn amazing. It's everything in it.

Doing a proper analysis of this is beyond me. So I'm just simply going to give my thoughts on it and what in my opinion makes this anime (and the web novel and light novels) so great. Also this will contain some spoilers for the novels.

I have this pet peeve. Whenever a fantasy world introduces a bunch of strong powerful monsters but have the hero deal with them very quickly and then they just move on to fight something more humanoid. Yeah, I hate that. A lot of stories skip over the grinding, skip over the training or move past it very quickly and this isn't limited to isekai.

Spider does the exact opposite. They show the main character struggle, fight and claw her way up. They show every power up, how she earned it and how much she had to struggle to earn it. It shows Kumoko's though process in detail. Insted of having her figure out something just because, the story walks us through her though process. Even though Kumoko or Shiro is immensely, unbelievably powerful it never feels unrealistic. Since we see how much she has struggled to get where she is now as Shiro (especially in the novels) every power up felt earned.

The story messes with our perception of what's right and wrong. It gives an explanation for a game like system and insted of having the god like figure who reincarnates the main character/s be a passive trivial figure like most isekai, Spider portrays that figure as an evil god who is watching other suffer for her own amusement. It makes me root for the "villanin's side". When the villains kill a bunch of humans the only thing I could think of was, you go girl!

Since Kumoko's story is being Juxtapose with Shun's story, who would be your typical isekai protagonist in any other story, the difference between Spider and your everyday lazy isekai is very apparent. Shun thinks and acts like a typical isekai protagonist but when you compare him to Kumoko he comes off as annoying. He comes off as stupid and overconfident. He has it better than most and he doesn't realize that. He might hear what someone else has gone through and think oh that's rough, and then go right back to throw himself a pity party.

I think Wrath's story later on has some parallels with Shun. With an older brother he looked up to and a little sister he adored but then one day tragedy strikes and his world is thrown into chaos. Except Wrath had it so do much worse.

They story makes you dislike the character who would be the protagonist in any other story and insted makes you sympathize and root for people who would have been the big bad.

Then there's the elves. Fantasy loooves elves for some reason. And it annoys me so much. In whatever story elves are always self righteous, elitist judgemental assholes who are kinda good at archery. I end up disliking elves in most stories. But here, oh here the elves are the assholes. And watching Kumoko take them down is so satisfactory.

The last thing I wanna talk about is power of friendship. I think power of friendship works, even in this story, just not for Shun and Co. Spider has a theme of someone always being stronger than you. Kumoko knows this very well. For a long time she had to constantly fight monsters who were stronger than her. She thinks, she plans and she doesn't underestimate her enemy. She gets out of bad situations because is prepared and because she can think logically no matter how dangerous the situation gets. When she works with other people she takes their strengths and weaknesses into account. Kumoko and Ariel has won a fight with power of friendship. Except it wasn't just because of power of friendship. They won because they are smart and strong and they know their opponent.

Shun and Co. don't have that. They don't know their enemy and on top of that they underestimate them. They don't have a plan, they are not prepared and they are not nearly as strong as demon lord's party. Even if they were to give their best they wouldn't win.

That's something I really, really love. Very early on in the web novel Shun remarks something along the lines of in this word working hard gives you a tangible result. That's true. The one who has worked the hardest would be the most powerful one. But in this story that's not the hero and his stupid harem, it's the demon lord and her allies.

[tomatograter]

What are your thoughts on JuneVris?

I like the ship, but sometimes I wonder if the romance is really There or if I just want to complete the Junevrisrezi Triad or w/e. I loved how their friendship developed over the course of homestuck, I just keep getting stuck on the pesterlog where June tells Vriska that she "kind of hates her". Ultimately they're still friendly after that, with June joking with Vriska by saying "if you ever need someone to punch you in the face again, I'll be there" and all that, but I wonder if June would ever really want a commited relationship with Vriska after that

June says a lot of negative things she doesn't fully mean or, if she means it, she has not taken into account how it will affect others; if jake is on the high end of the constantly-performing-for-acceptance spectrum, june is somewhere at the bottom.

The ease with which she can detach herself from her entire friendgroup and go into extended periods of complete isolation— marked by her friends worrying about her but that worry not being reciprocated, since she's mostly stewing on her own fog of bitter NEET malaise— is something that marks june's biggest flaw but also cements her story-role; she's the Protagonist. Things are secondary to her, not the other way around. She can tune the whole world out of her sight and focus only on whatever she deems worthy.

When she seeks affirmation and justification or even comfort, its not from her Fellow Friends, it's from the general cosmic ideal of... her doing something. The importance/meaning of her existence. The fact that She Needs To Do Something to fulfill her own abstract expectations, and keep busy. Of course our biggest point of comparison for this is when she's still not out to anyone, not even herself, so I'm partial to saying the self-actualization she desperately craves but can't even name has something to do with how she's transgender, and realizing that can be a great step 1 to getting out of that headspace, and moving on.

But related to the above statements and more closely tied with the purpose of your ask: June can and does designate certain people as stand-ins for why "things are going wrong" - and with nobody else to turn to safe for a big boss, these people are mostly her friends. This doesn't mean june is justified or right, and this also doesn't mean she doesn't truly love her friends, just that her feelings are easily overtaken by frustration, and from that frustration surges anger and spitefulness, a trait she closely shares with Jane.

They toe the flimsy line of meanness and arrogance, and sometimes blow up spectacularly. Their sense of inflated self-importance makes them transform everyone else in a liability, under the absolute lens of "I am justified, you are not."

June will holler to the skies that davesprite has somehow driven her out of her mind with his idiosyncrasies, and that her once favorite movies are truly fucking stupid shit for stupid fucking babies, and that roxy is a subhuman robot entirely out of her goddamn mind, and that vriska is a freak phony psycho she wants nothing to do with and is embarrassed to ever have liked; and she feels righteous in her fury. The excuses work, it doesn't matter if they're real. Make up a guy and get fucking mad at him! He's ruining your life! Doesn't that make you feel better? Doesn't that instantly give your life a clearer objective, and the assurance you are better than them? It's so easy. Here's a big red game target; catch it. kill it. scream at it.

It doesn't last, though. And in the aftermath the only thing it reveals is more of that same familiar emptiness.

The frustrations she has personified in her friends are still there, and they remain unaddressed, because the root often laid in june herself. She's mad her friends aren't exactly as she pictured them to be, or else she's mad at herself for ever making something out to be what it wasn't— or she's mad because she believed they could hold all the answers to make life better for her, but they don't.

The june-vriska example is particularly relevant because 'vriska' is part of june's dream of utter escapism; from seemingly nowhere, here comes a cool girl that knows exactly what june has to do always, and shes quirky, snippy, not like the other girls, and she has aaaaaaaall the answers. Except that personality shield has a complex and bloody backstory to all its 'epic' antics, and just as soon as vriska reveals her fragility the dream breaks a little. June has to cope with the fact vriska has flaws she cannot understand or justify, and after having looked up to her for so long she defaults to the emotion "maybe you always sucked after all." - it simplifies the situation. It makes her feel better about projection. That's where "I kind of hate you." comes from. She could have said 'i envy you/want to be you/am frustrated by you/disappointed in you' but the former is quicker.

The words 'June' and 'committed relationship' aren't really some i'd easily associate (She has a bit of a permanence=stagnation problem), but I do think her Protagonitis can only be put in check by the story's own favorite. Vriska can dish it out, and she has a backlog to argue she's important - if not MORE important than june, providing some perspective. Similarly, they can just sort of hang out sometimes and not feel utterly bored by each others presence, as they're picky in similar ways.

When I picture junevrisrezi, it is with june coming and going after vrisrezi have figured it out. They will always be a bit more partial to each other than they are to june, and june's drive to be constantly moving isn't exactly the same as two women who basically spent their childhoods in a murder-happy hellscape and could use a little slowing down, actually. It's not bad, they just have different priorities.

[silverflame2724]

Accidental Martial God WWX

That was exacty what I meant actually but I do have a few more povs if you want.

LQRs reaction to a demonic cultivator ascending, JGS and JGY reaction to the Yin Tiger Tally moving completely out of reach, WQ pondering the true requirements for ascension given WWX doesn't have a golden core yet ascended, WWX musing on Godhood and on his new followers both the good and the more disturbing worshipers.

Maybe LWJ protects the Wen Remnants because WWX asked him to in a dream and after he succeeds (13 years later) he ascends and is finally reunited with WWX.

Lan Qiren did not know what to think. Wei Wuxian, his most troublesome student, a demonic cultivator, had ascended. He’d ascended. How was that even possible? Were the Heavens blind? Why would they allow someone like Wei Wuxian to ascend?

From what Lan Qiren had thought, only those who are righteous and followed the correct path in life like the Lan clan’s founder, Lan An, would be worthy of ascending.

Either the qualifications for ascension were lower than he thought or Lan Qiren had been horribly mistaken about Wei Wuxian’s personality and motivations for using demonic cultivation. That last thought made Lan Qiren feel very uncomfortable.

He’d always been harsh on the boy and disregarded him, even - he ashamedly admitted - punishing him harsher and more frequently than others.

He’d thought he was in the right because of how Wei Wuxian was but…..

But if he was wrong then Lan Qiren owed him an apology.

………………….

Jin Guangshan wanted to scream out in frustration seeing Wei Wuxian ascend. That brat had the Stygian Tiger Seal on him - according to his spies - and now that he ascended, the Seal went with him.

He had had so many plans on bribing Wei Wuxian to his side or killing him when he refused - as well as stealing the Seal - and then taking over the cultivation world, lording over it as he was always meant to be.

Now those plans are ruined. He sighed. Hopefully that bastard son of his can finally prove his usefulness and give him countermeasures or he might retract his favor from him.

……………………

Jin Guangyao’s first thought upon seeing Wei Wuxian ascend was: Oh shit. I have to go make up new plans to help Father.

He knew his father wanted Wei Wuxian and the Seal and didn’t really care how he obtained both or either, just as long as no one traced it back to him. He sighed. This was going to be a big headache. But at least the plans on putting his father as Chief Cultivator were going smoothly. He could only imagine what his father would do to him if even this failed.

..............................

Wen Qing had still been in Yiling, making plans to relocate her family, when the news that Wei Wuxian had ascended had reached her.

Her first reaction was, That’s impossible.

Because it was, right? Wen Qing should know. She cut out his core, after all. But to think he was still able to ascend while he was a demonic cultivator made her wonder what the requirements were for ascending. Perhaps it’s an honest heart? Self-sacrificing tendencies? Or is it a sacrifice of some sorts? She paused. What if.....it was a trial? To test a person’s will? What Wei Wuxian had suffered was.....horrible. Could it have all been just a test from the Heavens?

If that was so, the Heavens really are cru--- 

“A’ Jie, we have to go! Some Jin were spotted nearby!”

Wen Qing gritted her teeth. Members of the branch families of Qishan, regardless of whether they were innocent or not, were captured and subsequently tortured to death by the Jin and sometimes the Nie. Because her family was all in Yiling, they were safe.......but only for now. They had to hurry and escape.

Wen Qing sent a quick prayer to Wei Wuxian, hoping for her family’s safety, and tucked the rest of her belongings in her qiankun pouch, remembering to wrap her arms in bandages to hide the needles she might need to paralyze any Jin that came close.

....................................

Wei Wuxian’s first thought when he landed in the Heavens was, What the fuck.

Then he looked around and looked taken aback and wary at the unfamiliar faces around him. Where the fuck am I?

“Hello.” A rather stoic-faced man greeted.

“Hello.” Wei Wuxian parroted back. The person in front of him didn’t seem to be a threat so he felt a little tension loosen from his shoulders. “Um, Xiansheng? I’m afraid I don’t know where I am?”

“You have just ascended.” The man replied, throwing Wei Wuxian aback.

“Are you pulling my leg?” Wei Wuxian asked. “How is that even possible! I don’t even have---” He swallowed. I don’t even have a core.

“I do not lie. Come, we are wasting time. We must get you washed up and dressed for the induction ceremony.” Seeing Wei Wuxian still frozen, the man sighed, signalled for some people to pick Wei Wuxian up and dragged the struggling man to some quarters.

After absentmindedly washing, drying and changing himself, Wei Wuxian noticed some differences in his body. He wasn’t....cold or hurting anymore. And - he touched his back - he could feel his back! After having his muscles and nerves shredded by Zidian, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to sense touch on his back or even move without pain! But now he can!

He heard the urging of some people and grumbled.

“You will become a god of demonic cultivation.” Was the first thing he heard when he stepped out of the room.

Wei Wuxian choked. “Excuse me?!”

“I said what I said. Now then, if you would please concentrate, you should be able to hear the prayers of the people below.”

Wei Wuxian felt like everything was moving a little too fast for him, but nevertheless complied. Immediately after, a flood of prayers hit him at full force.

“Wei Wuxian!” That was Jiang Cheng! “….Have some fun up there.”

“A’ Xian, do be well. Shijie isn’t there to take care of you so do be well.” Wei Wuxian refused to cry.

“Wei-Xiong! I hope there’s someone up there to supply you with you know what *winks*”

How does someone even wink in their prayers? Wei Wuxian thought amusedly.

“Wei Ying.” That was Lan Zhan. “Wei Ying, I will—be well.”

Ah, Lan Zhan. Always concise even in your thoughts.

Wei Wuxian was a little teary. As much as he was glad to not be a part of the cultivation world considering all the rumors, he did regret leaving behind those that cared for him.

That thought was much more cemented upon hearing…….

“Ah, Lord Wei, the pinnacle of evil, the role model of all demonic cultivators!” Wei Wuxian’s eye twitched. “Please hear my plea for more power! I need it, I need it to destroy everyone who harmed me!”

“Wei Wuxian, I wish to gain power over resentful energy so that I may tear my enemies limb by limb!

“Give me money! You’re a god, aren’t you? Be useful for once and give me some gold!”

“Tch. If I’m going to pray for anything, then it’ll have to be the Seal. You’re a god, now, right? So you have no need for the Seal. Just give it up.”

No matter the good or bad, Wei Wuxian heard the wishes and prayers of the people down below and while some were innocent enough, there were those that wished for death, destruction, tools for torture, power, money, women…….you name it.

It made Wei Wuxian feel a little disgusted with humanity. He cut off his focus from the bad and focused on the prayer he received from his friends and family.

“Wei Wuxian, I heard you became a god.” It was Wen Qing. He hadn’t heard her voice in a long time. “I know this might seem shameless of me after all I did to you, but please. Please guarantee the safety of my family. We’re being hunted down and—”

Her prayer was abruptly cut off, before coming back in full force with notes of desperation. Her family had been captured and taken to Qiongqi Path! Wei Wuxian panicked. He didn’t know how to escape from this place and try to go help her.

The…..person who was watching over him evidently knew what he was thinking about and merely stated that gods cannot interfere with the mortal realm. So he was stuck.

But that didn’t mean he was out of options.

It took a few days, but he managed to wheedle out how to help: via dreams. He merely needed to get into the mind of one of his followers and tell them to help. Much like those prophetic dreams Wei Wuxian had read about as a kid.

So he buckled down, thinking of the best candidate to help him.

……………………………

Lan Wangji looked at the landscape around him and concluded that he was dreaming. Though, it was a little odd that he was aware that he was dreaming. Not that he hasn’t realized he was dreaming before - especially in those many fantasies he had of Wei Ying - but to be aware that this is a dream and to see nothing but a flat landscape was pretty out of the ordinary. 

Anyway, he digressed. What was going on?

“Uhh, Lan Zhan? Can you hear me?”

“W-Wei Ying?!” Lan Wangji couldn’t be blamed for stuttering. He wasn’t expecting this!

“Phew. Oh good, you can hear me. Anyway, Lan Zhan, I gotta be quick about this because I’m kinda sorta bending the rules here, but do you think you can go to Qiongqi Path and rescue Wen Qing and her family?”

“Okay.”

“Huh? Just like that? Not even going to ask me for a reason, er-gege?”

Lan Wangji’s ears flushed red at the address. “If Wei Ying wants to save them, you must have a good reason. That’s enough for me.”

“Ah, Hanguang-Jun.” The title was spoken fondly. “Always so good. I’ll tell you anyway. Wen Qing and her family sheltered Jiang Cheng and I after Lotus Pier fell and even brought back Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen’s bodies! That’s a debt I cannot repay.”

“I understand. I will help.”

He couldn’t see Wei Ying, but could practically feel the amusement from him.

“Wei Ying.”

“Yes?”

“Are......Are you well?”

“Of course I am. I’m actually feeling so much better than before.” Wei Ying grumbled, “I’m not even in pain anymore.”

“You were in pain?” Lan Wangji asked worriedly. “Wei Ying, why didn’t you say anything.”

“Lan Zhan, there was nothing you or anyone else could do to alleviate my pain. It doesn’t matter now. I’m okay.”

Lan Wangji was still worried and wanted to speak to him more, but---

“Ah! Looks like my time’s up!” Wei Ying exclaimed cheerfully as the dreamscape wavered. “See you, Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji nodded. “See you, Wei Ying.” I’ll catch up to you soon.

.

.

.

And 13 years later, Lan Wangji kept his promise.

___________________

I didn’t edit this so I’m hoping there’s not too many grammatical errors lol. 

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

Bakugou Katsuki - Rising

So I told someone a while ago I’d be writing an essay on Bakugou’s lines from 284, and I’m keeping true to my word. If you’re wondering which lines, well my friend, these lines;

So this, to me, is one of the most emotionally packed pages of these recent chapters. For one, it shows us that Bakugou has always been watching Deku, the same as Deku has been watching him. Since they were kids, probably from the age of 4, Bakugou was able to tell Deku never thought of himself first, it was always what he could do to help and protect other people with no regard to his own safety or well-being. 

“He’s always been like that.” 

How would Bakugou know Deku has always been this way if he wasn’t paying attention to him? It goes beyond his bullying in Middle School, because he’s watched Deku stand up for other’s his entire life. The very first scene of the manga is Deku protecting a child from Bakugou and his group of misfits, despite being quirkless, and essentially helpless. 

Despite being scared, and knowing he didn’t have the strength to take on those boys, he still stood his ground and did what he could to protect the other kid. Bakugou witnessed that first hand, since he was the aggressor. He was the one Deku was protecting someone from.

There was no way Bakugou wouldn’t remember something like that.

We know he remembered how Deku extended his hand to him when he fell in the stream, even though Bakugou was fine and didn’t need any help. Deku still waded through that water and even risked possibly getting himself hurt, to reach out to Bakugou and make sure he was alright. 

Now, I am going to point out that the stream incident definitely happened before the scene of Deku protecting that boy since it’s evident they’re older in that scene, but it was presented first (literally the first panel of the entire manga), so it takes precedent. 

Then we have the big one, which is the Sludge Villain incident, and Deku’s biggest show of self-sacrifice probably to date within the manga, since he was quirkless and would have certainly ended up dead if All Might hadn’t managed to power up. Even with the times he’s wrecked his body using OfA, he at least had some kind of fighting chance because of the power, but with the Sludge Villain, he had nothing. He was just throwing himself out there in hopes, by some miracle, he could do something to save his friend, even if it meant losing his life in the process. 

Another instance of Bakugou witnessing firsthand the self sacrificial nature of Deku. Throughout the manga we’re given these instances, and the next big one is Bakugou’s kidnapping. Now, he didn’t see Deku’s fight with Muscular, but he did see the aftermath, he saw that ruined body running at him full force with no care to the damage done to himself, and even before that, he saw Shoji carrying him while Deku continued to plan out their plan of rescue, like his entire body wasn’t a crumpled mess. 

Time and time again, Bakugou has been witness to Deku’s behavior, to this self sacrificial nature. The scene above is the first real time we see Bakugou acknowledge it. He tells Deku to stay back, he knows if he continues trying to fight looking like that, he’s going to die. I’ve seen other translations and I believe in the anime he says something to the context of “Don’t come, Deku.” Which, either way you look at it, it gives the same impression of Bakugou trying to protect Deku in that moment. Because he knew if there was an opportunity for Deku to reach, he would have fought until there was nothing left of him. 

“And now that he can do so much more...”

This line is important because it is Bakugou acknowledging Deku’s current strength with OfA, but it is also his confession of worry because he knows who Deku is, and what this means for him. If Deku was reckless and willing to sacrifice himself when he was a 4 year old child with no quirk, well now that he has the strongest power essentially in existence, that means certain death. There is nothing stopping him from completely destroying himself, and we saw a brief example of that when Deku fought Muscular, though not even close to the level he was going at Shigaraki, and what Bakugou was actually getting to witness during this chapter and 285/286. 

I use the above image because it kind of shows how bad off Deku was, which is far worse than when he fought Muscular, let me remind you. That scene is in chapter 285, after he’s essentially destroyed both of his arms hitting Shigaraki probably upwards of 10 times with 100% OfA. 

Remember, Bakugou has been watching all of this from the ground. 

“Something doesn’t feel right, it makes me wanna keep him at arms length.” 

Well ya know, I don’t really blame you for feeling that way, Bakugou, I wouldn’t feel right if the kid I knew my entire life was willing to die at literally every turn without thinking for a split second about himself, either. It’s a little strange, but that’s what makes Deku the unstoppable force that he is, because he has the drive to save people no matter what. Now if he could master his power and depend on other’s, it would be even better, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to kill himself trying to protect people.

But seriously, that line shows Bakugou's uncertainty about getting close to Deku, because that kind of behavior is scary. It's intimidating. To just...throw your life away for the sake of someone else, that's gotta be scary to see someone do, and Bakugou has witnessed it over and over because of his closeness to Deku.

Now for the big one.

"Back then, I ignored my own weakness...so I ended up bullying him."

There's the kicker, folks. The real development we've all been waiting for.

I do want to point out that when Bakugo was 4, he didn't realize he had weaknesses like that. He was honest to God just a bratty kid that probably thought Deku was weird for caring so much about people despite, essentially, being useless to them. Because what could Deku do? Nothing. He couldn't help anyone because he was quirkless, but he still tried, and that's what affected Bakugou so strongly.

So strongly, in fact, that he never forgot it for a single second.

From 4 years old all the way up to 16 years old. 12 years. 12 years Bakugou Katsuki was witnessing Deku's self sacrificial nature. Again and again he watched as this boy who had nothing, continued to fight for something, and then he was granted power, terrifying power, and now Bakugou is left to wonder how the fuck any of this could have happened. Because if Deku had just stayed quirkless and accepted it, maybe, just maybe, he would stop that self sacrifical bullshit. Maybe he would see himself a bit more.

But then he was given OfA, and all of that hope was gone. Now he was given a power meant to take on the greatest evils and every person before Deku had died for the cause, so why would it stop with Deku, who was already ready to get himself killed to protect someone else when he was like 14 years old?

The scenes we have of Bakugou acknowledging Deku's behavior, and acknowledging his own behavior, it's such a raw scene. It takes a lot to acknowledge you've done wrong by someone else. It takes a lot of strength to sit back and recognize those ugly parts of you, and here Bakugou is, doing just that. And he isn't doing it for some self righteous get me off, either. He's doing it because he genuinely cares about Deku's well being, and he always has.

It never came out the right way, and he sees that now, but that doesn't mean the concern wasn't there. He just didn't know the right ways to express it, but as things have gotten more serious and now Deku is truly risking his life for this cause, he's come face to face with it. He can't hide from it anymore. The more OfA develops, the more Deku is going to put himself out there, and Bakugou isn't going to sit around while he kills himself when he could just learn to ask for help.

This stretches all the way into 285 and Bakugou's sacrifice, because he saw Deku about to end up seriously hurt or worse, and he knew he couldn't let that happen. Of all the years spent endlessly tearing himself apart for other people, Bakugou knew he needed to show the other in some way he didn't have to do it like that. He didn't have to fight alone.

That, and it was part of his atonement. It was a piece of his apology to Deku, to show him that he valued him, and he was willing to put his life on the line for someone, for him.

Bakugou didn't think when he rushed out to save Deku. It was instinctual, like breathing. He saw someone he cared about in danger, and his body moved on it's own. That, from the angry brat we get in chapter 1, is a beautiful showcase of perfect character development and growth. If you take into account everything I've discussed throughout this, it should be easy to realize or at least see a bit of Bakugou's perspective, and his thought process when dealing with Deku.

It never justifies any of his past behavior, but it gives us clarification, and then allows us to appreciate his thoughts and actions in 284 and 285 even more.

[kaihavoc]

Cloud 29

a/n: inspired by my new two favorite videos: this and this one

Lingering just outside the Chelsea locker room, I wait until I see the last person leave. Well, second to last. Christian passes me by with a toothy grin, telling me to “take good care” of my boyfriend tonight because he earned it. Laughing nervously, I just give him a polite wave, acting like he didn’t just give me that advice, and sneak inside the locker room. There’s only one person who hasn’t burst through the doors and come out to join the festivities. The superstar––the hero––of today’s match. Kai Havertz. 

I know Kai; he’s got to be swirling with composed excitement, taking his time to revel in this momentous occasion without the chaos of overexcited screams and cheers. I can just imagine his humble smile, those crinkles rippling across his cheeks, that endearing overbite he’s always been so insecure about. The mere thought of him puts a smile on my face. 

I only need to take a few steps when I see him. Considering he’s the only person left in the locker room, he wasn’t that hard to find. I pause in my tracks, absorbing the sight of him: sweaty, shirtless, head down with his back against the metal locker. I make no noise, but he must sense a presence because his head snaps up. Our eyes meet, and his face lights up as he bounds over to me, tackling me in a hug. He towers over me, but that doesn’t stop him from practically leaping into my arms. Yeah, as if I have the upper body strength to carry him. Sometimes I think he forgets I’m not as physically fit as his teammates.

I open my mouth, about to congratulate him, but the dullness in his blue eyes stops me. Something’s off. He’s happy to see me, that’s clear, but, otherwise, he’s not as ecstatic as I thought he would be. Why isn’t he? Not only did his team win the Champions League, but he scored the winning goal. His first goal of the Champions League, no less––he went out with a bang. He should be over the moon. 

“You look festive,” Kai comments, playfully tugging on one of my pigtails. I wanted to try something new, so I had tied my long hair into pigtails with two royal blue ribbons. Aside from that, I’m just in my typical outfit I wear whenever he plays a game: one of his old jerseys that he gave me when we first started dating and black leggings. I had considered spicing things up by painting Kai’s initials on my cheeks with blue face paint, but when I brought the idea up to him over dinner last week, he just said he knew a better method to brand me as his. I left it at that without inquiring further, even though I was curious by what, exactly, he had in mind. 

“You look… hot,” I gulp, my eyes traveling down his long, toned torso. No matter how many times I’ve seen him shirtless after a practice or a game, or in only a towel after a shower, I’ll never get tired of seeing him half-naked. Or fully naked, at that. 

“You look hot, too,” he murmurs into my hair, still embracing me tightly. “I just didn’t want to say that because I was trying to be gentlemanly.” Cupping my face with his large hands, he proceeds to kiss me, feverish and rough. He nips at my bottom lip and doesn’t even wait for me to open my mouth before invading it, battling my tongue with his. His ferocity gets my blood pumping and the pit of my stomach tingling, but it’s all wrong. I’m necessarily complaining, but this isn’t how he usually greets me. He typically welcomes me with a soft, delicate kiss before anything else. Is this because I haven’t congratulated him on his win yet? 

“I’m so proud of you, Kai. You and the guys really deserve this,” I say sincerely, but he pretends like he doesn’t hear me, going in for another attack on my mouth. To that, I shrink a little and he catches on, sighing as he takes a step back, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. I notice that the ribbons in my hair are loose, so I quickly readjust them as I try to read Kai’s expression. He still looks… dissatisfied. Maybe some ego boosting would do the trick? 

“Everyone’s raving about how you’re a tactical genius. How your skill and precision are unparalleled. How you’re on top and you haven’t even reached your peak yet,” I ramble, trying to recall every headline I’ve ever read in the news this past week. Oh, and also, you’ve got the cutest bum out of any football player in the history of football.  

“Not everyone,” he growls in a dark voice, messing up his curly brown locks by snatching them with his hand. His face twists with irritation. “Right after the game, a reporter came up to me and asked me if I thought I finally paid back my hefty price tag.” 

“And how did you respond?” I ask, curious. Usually he doesn’t get so riled up over post-game interviews, but perhaps his transfer fee is a touchy subject for him and he just never told me. In an attempt to calm him down a bit, I take his hand into mine and lead him to a section of the bench lined along the lockers. We sit so that we’re facing each other, and I weave my legs around his torso, nearly straddling him. But not quite.

“I think I said… ‘I don’t give a fuck of that. We just won the fucking Champions League’,” he says slowly, his nose scrunched up in concentration as he recalls his response.

I stifle a laugh. His cussing is not a regular occurrence, it’s not entirely uncommon either, but whenever he does curse, it catches me off guard. Maybe it has something to do with that pretty face of his, as if foul language shouldn’t be coming from it. “You’re right; you did just win the Champions League, so you shouldn’t be hard on yourself,” I say, lightly poking him in the bicep. He doesn’t seem to appreciate my stab at lighthearted reassurance, so I go for a different approach. Tough love. “Okay, fine. Chelsea may have paid a lot of money for you, but that’s because you’re worth it, Kai. You don’t have to prove your abilities to anyone––even though you already proved them tonight plus your whole career thus far. People are always going to have something negative to say, but you put in the work and it shows in every game. Don’t let anyone get to you, especially not a reporter; they’re just trying to get some dirt.” I’m not used to giving pep talks, so I’m not sure if I did it right.

I must’ve done something right because his frown is replaced with a slight smile. “Thank you, baby,” he says, pecking me on the cheek. One Kai’s best qualities is that not much gets to him; and if it does, it doesn’t take him long to get over it. Annoying interview question long forgotten, he traces patterns on my thigh and tells me, “The boys are going to a nightclub tonight to celebrate our win. Come with me.” To aid in his plea, he grabs both of my hands, squeezing them, his pale blue eyes gleaming with hope.

“A nightclub?” I repeat, making a sour face. “You know better than anyone that I don’t belong at a nightclub.” I want to suggest just a cozy night in, watching his favorite film of the Harry Potter series, Goblet of Fire, and cuddling, but I don’t want to take this celebratory night with his friends away from him.

“You belong with me, and it just so happens that tonight I’m being dragged to a nightclub,” he says. I don’t say anything, and his face falls, presumably because he recognizes his bid to get me to go is a lost cause.  

“You go,” I encourage, trying to sound upbeat as I pat his thigh. “Have your fun.”

“Really?” he asks. “Are you sure?” He gives me a dubious look, one eyebrow severely cocked. 

I squint at him quizzically. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He looks me dead in the eyes. “Babe. Let’s not forget what happened the last time I went out for drinks with the team for Timo’s birthday. I came back home with a ripped shirt because a bunch of girls pounced on us, and you wouldn’t talk to me for a whole week. You didn’t believe me.”

“That’s because it’s an unbelievable story,” I mumble.

“You accused me of hooking up with another girl,” he reminds me, his mesmerizing eyes narrowing at me, causing my cheeks to heat up and my skin to crawl with guilt. Now that he’s mentioned it, I do remember that incident. Vividly. It happened around the beginning of our relationship, when I still didn’t know how serious Kai was about me, about us. Regardless, I should’ve known that Kai would never be unfaithful to me. That’s simply not who he is. He has never once given me an inkling of a doubt of his loyalty. I blame my foolish allegation on my insecurity over our blossoming relationship, but I’m long past that… 

“You’re too friendly, Kai,” I sigh, ruffling his hair to make it seem more like a concern and less like an accusation. “It makes girls think they can have a chance with you.”

“Girls?” Kai scoffs, shaking his head in pure denial. How can someone so intelligent be such a dumb boy sometimes? “What girls? That happened one time, and it wasn’t only me who got jumped. The whole team did.” Like that makes the situation any better, Kai.

“I’m not dating the whole team! I’m dating you, and you’re only going to get bigger and I… I just want you all to myself,” I admit. My head falls, weighted by a vicious mix of embarrassment and shame. 

“Well, I know something that’s big that you can have all to yourself,” he says coyly, with a self-righteous smirk.

“I’m serious, Kai,” I say, frowning at him in return. “You’re young, talented, attractive. Girls are going to be lining up for you, and soon I’ll just be chopped liver.”

“Chopped liver?” he hoots, obviously unfamiliar with the expression. 

My frown deepens as I huff, “You’re going to forget all about me.”

“I think if anyone’s guilty of forgetting anything, it’s you. You’re already forgetting that I’m in love with you,” he coos, sliding closer to me, dusting my neck and collarbones with soft-lipped kisses.

“Get away from me. You’re all sweaty,” I complain––mostly so as to not give into his seduction techniques too easily––but it’s half-hearted.

“You’re about to be, too,” he growls, lifting me and dropping me on his lap. I can feel him harden underneath me, and I respond by rocking my body against his, inciting staggered, tense moans from the both of us at the same time. The sounds that come out of his mouth are music to my ears. With a hunger to hear more, I reach in between us, stroking his length through his thin shorts, loving how fully aroused he gets at my slight touch. His breathing quickens, but when I don’t hear anything from him, I look at him, witnessing his bottom lip in between his teeth, suppressing those sweet moans I so desperately want to hear him make. 

Suddenly, he’s tugging at my leggings; he’s so aggressive that I’m afraid he’s going to rip them. After he shimmies them off, I kick them to the side, and Kai’s eyes ravage the bottom half of my body. I’m thankful I had the good foresight to wear lace panties instead of my go-to granny panties, but at this point they’re drenched. They have been ever since I walked in and saw Kai; just one look at him does unspeakable things to me. His ability to reduce me to a mere puddle with just his eyes is unnerving. 

He removes my shirt and purses his lips when he sees that I’m not wearing a bra. My chest is ample-sized, but I can comfortably go without a bra––often doing just that––and it drives him mad. He says I shouldn’t go prancing around braless because I’ll be practically naked when ogling guys undress me with their eyes. I say that doesn’t make sense.

He yanks his shorts and boxers down in one swoop, and the heat between my legs intensifies. If his massive hands and long fingers were any indication of what he has to offer, the blanks fill themselves out––he’s glorious. I can’t help but gawk and admire him; Kai is perfect in every singular way. If I had no self-control, I’d lick every inch of his pale skin. I lower myself onto him and gasp with pleasure when just the tip enters me. Slowly, I bounce up and down on him, each time driving him deeper inside me until he fills me completely. My head rolls back as I continue the rhythmic movement, and I moan when he licks a stripe in the valley between my breasts. My fingers tangle themselves in his curly locks as he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking on it while tinkering with the other between his fingertips.

“Oh, Kai,” I whine, feeling the intolerable pressure building up in my stomach.

“That’s it, baby,” Kai purrs against my chest as I tighten around him. “Say my name. Just like that.”

“K-Kai––” I cry, quivering against his body; my vision is blurry and I’ve lost function in my legs. Kai’s taken over, his fingers digging into my hips, thrusting into me, hitting my most sensitive spot time after time. I’m on the verge of seeing stars when it all stops. Before my brain can process what’s happening, I’m balancing on all fours on the bench as Kai positions himself behind me, his erection rubbing against me. With one thrust, he buries himself inside me, reaching around to rub my clit in a slow circular motion. I was not prepared for that. The combination of sensations is enough to drive me over the edge, but what drives me even crazier is the heat as he presses his firm chest up against my back.

“Who do you belong to?” he demands in my ear, humming. I tune him out, focusing on getting my fix and nothing more. I can barely get his name out, what makes him think I can have a coherent conversation? “I don’t like being ignored,” he warns sharply.

My arms and legs are shaky, and the only thing keeping me from crumbling to the floor are his hands, holding me steady as he rolls his hips. “You,” I finally breathe.

“Dunno who that is,” he drawls, and I could swear he’s purposely applying more pressure to his accent just to mock me.

“You. Kai,” I hiss and close my eyes to try to block him out, but that only heightens my senses to everything he’s doing to me.

“Kai who? There are many Kais,” he says matter-of-factly. His fingers slow down around my sensitive area, and I’m afraid he’s going to withhold euphoria from me.

“Kai––fucking––Havertz,” I half moan, half gasp as his fingers pick up their pace and he slams into me, the final push that sends me soaring into bliss. I never cuss unless I have a really good reason for it and lashing my frustration out on the infuriating tease that is Kai Havertz is a good enough reason for me. However, he makes up for his devilish nature by understanding every nook and cranny of my body. On cloud nine, I ride out the high to the fullest extent before my body goes fully limp. I suck in a breath when he pulls out, only to feel the warm liquid on my back coming in spurts.

“Fuck,” he moans, and I just wish I could watch him as he comes undone. I think it’s hot when he releases his load on me––I like it best when he does it on my chest. So I can marvel at him with his sweat-matted hair, throbbing Adam’s apple, and fluttering eyelids. He wipes my back with his/my jersey and pulls me into his lap. 

“The way you moan my name, I’ll never be able to forget you,” he sighs, nibbling on my neck.

“How romantic,” I tease. But really, I’d be content calling out only his name for the rest of my life. Kai fucking Havertz.

“C’mon, baby, let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, rising to his feet cheerfully. His fingers lace in mine as he starts for the shower stalls. My heart thumps wildly in my chest as my feet pad excitedly across the tile floor alongside him. Another great quality about Kai: his stamina is unmatched, on and off the football field.

*a/n: if you do by chance read this, I’d love to know what you think of it!

[vrishchikawrites]

If you're still taking prompts, how about WWX becoming a god after he dies in the siege? It's hard to slander someone when you have a proof of their benevolence like this. I always loved the concept. He's strong and good enough to ascend, especially since in his last actions he chose to spare those who wronged him and destroy the seal. And now LZ needs to catch up ;)

(we'll need to hand wave some of the genre constants here. apologies!)

It happens in Qinghe. The Nie Clan hosts a Martial Arts conference and Lan Wangji accompanies Lan Xichen even though he's not inclined to. He has just come out of seclusion and socialization is the last thing on his mind.

But his brother insists and Wangji is hesitant to deny. The Unclean Realm is bustling with activity and Wangji feels the strain of it keenly. There's something off in the air.

It isn't until he meets Nie Mingjue that he realizes just what is off.

The man looks furious instead of stern and commanding. Nie Mingjue has always had a temper but Wangji has never seen him quite this unsettled. His eyes seem blood-shot and his expression is almost cruel. There's an odd, dissonant energy around him that alarms Wangji.

Xichen, Jin Guangyao, and Nie Mingjue seem to be arguing in some fashion, Wangji was too far away to understand their conversation but Nie Mingjue's voice was loud and enraged.

"Da-ge," Nie Huaisang's worried voice catches his attention and he turns to look in his direction. His expression conveys his anxiety for his brother clearly. Nie Huaisang is studying the scene before him with furrowed brows and uncharacteristically shrewd eyes, "Wangji-xiong, what do you think of this?"

At first, Wangji is hesitant to comment. This isn't his concern and he is certain Xichen will help if help is needed.

But something in Nie Huaisang's tone makes him hesitate. He is obviously seeking comfort.

Wangji studies the scene once again, noting with concern that even his brother is looking disturbed by Nie Mingjue's rage, "He is dangerously unstable. Xiongzhang's Song of Clarity isn't working?"

Nie Huaisang purses his lips and shakes his head, "San-ge plays it regularly but it doesn't seem to help." He waves his fan in agitation, "Nothing seems to help."

Wangji has nothing else to say. He's not good with casual conversations or comforting words. It is usually his brother who knows how to say the right thing at the right time.

"I wish Wei-xiong was here." Wangji stills at the soft whisper, "He would know what to do- no one knows Resentful Energy like he did."

Wangji takes a deep breath, keeping his gaze fixed on the middle distance. "Mentioning him is forbidden." He has kept Wei Ying's name close to his heart, untainted and loved instead of being tossed around and slandered.

His Wei Ying.

"You don't need to pretend to dislike him," Nie Huaisang says, eyes fixed on his brother, "Unlike everyone else, I knew his true self well enough. Almost as well as you did."

Wangji feels a curl of bitter amusement, "I did not know him."

Nie Huaisang waves his fan and remains silent for a long moment before speaking, "Believe me, Wangji-xiong, you were the only one who knew him."

Wangji has no reply.

--

Unfortunately, the situation does escalate beyond their control. Nie Mingjue has clearly lost control and is on the verge of qi deviation. He swings his sword aimlessly. Neither Wangji's guqin nor Xichen's flute do much to help.

Nie Huaisang is screaming, struggling against Jin Guangyao, trying to reach his increasingly volatile brother.

Nothing is helping. Wangji fears he may be forced to watch his brother's closest friend die.

Later, when questioned, he would say his prayer had been instinctive, coming deep from within him. He would say that he hadn't even thought when he spoke those words. That it hadn't even registered when he opened his mouth and said them out loud.

But in that moment, feeling something very close to panic at the sight of Nie Mingjue teetering close to the edge, he breaths out,

"Wei Ying, help."

The air around them stills the moment the last syllable slips past his lips. Nothing moves, no one speaks, the absence of sound was almost deafening.

Wangji feels the hair on his body stand on end the sound of swishing fabric fills the frozen atmosphere. He turns a little to see a swirl of black robes; rich, intricate, moving over the ground like smoke.

There's a fragrance of freshly dug earth and petrichor in the air, refreshing and earthy, but also strange. He's in the Unclean Realm and it hasn't rained in weeks.

Wangji takes a deep breath as the swish of fabric comes closer and then something as shockingly cold as snowmelt sweeps past him.

He already knows what he's about to see when he looks up.

Everything about him is pitch black. His hair is dark as ebony, falling down to the back of his knees. His robes seem to be made of shadows that suck in light. There are intricate lace and gold patterns on the sleeves. They look like talismans but Wangji cannot tell.

"Wei Ying," He calls softly.

Because Wangji knew it was him even before he saw him.

The air unfreezes and everyone comes to life once again, dazed and bewildered. Wangji hears Nie Huaisang draw in a sharp, shocked breath. He is the first to notice Wei Ying but others follow quickly. There are loud exclamations of surprise and many unsheathe their swords.

Wei Ying doesn't react. He lifts his hand, crooks a pale finger, and a mass of dark energy extracts itself from Nie Mingjue.

It is so quick, so unceremonious, that everyone is stunned.

Wei Ying studies it, condenses it into a small ball, and without pause, crushes it in his fist.

Nie Mingjue stumbles to his feet, clutching onto Baxia and staring at Wei Ying with wide eyes, "Wei Wuxian."

"You were destined to die today," Wei Ying says in a calm, dismissive tone, "The Nie Sect was destined to fade into obscurity." His voice is soft but there are layers to it, like a thousand individuals speaking in perfect harmony.

Nothing about Wei Ying is human. His voice is sonorous, entirely intimidating. His skin is as fair as white jade. His silver eyes are as bright as the moon. He looks regal, with an intricate hair piece holding the sweeping mass of ebony hair in place.

"You..." Xichen begins, looking just as hesitant as Wangji feels. Fortunately, his brother regains his composure quickly and bows, "Wei Wuxian, thank you for saving Nie Mingjue."

"I hold dominion over Justice." Wei Ying declares and Wangji carefully tucks his trembling hands behind his back, "Of course, I will answer the wishes of the most righteous man in Cultivation." He taps his chin with a smirk, an echo of a Wei Ying Wangji knows, loves, misses, "My affections for Lan Zhan play a part too, I suppose."

"Justice?" Nie Huaisang asks, "Because you died for a just cause?"

Wei Wuxian glances over his shoulder and Wangji meets that enchanting silver gaze with a racing heart.

"Perhaps," Wei Ying says teasingly, "I may be a deity, but even I am subject to the whims of fate."

He speaks as thought dominion over something like justice is an easy feat, like it doesn't imply immeasurable power.

"You were killed-" Nie Mingjue growls out, "For your unjust actions."

"Da-ge!" Xichen warns, glancing at Wei Ying warily.

"Don't remind me," Wei Ying says pleasantly, "For that call for justice still weighs heavy. You will all have to pay your dues, even you, Lan Zhan."

Wangji nods briefly, "I understand."

"Forgive me," Jin Guangyao interrupts, "Surely, you must understand our concern and puzzlement. Wei-gongzi, forgive me, you were-"

"You're not forgiven." Wei Ying tilts his head to the side, "I wonder, Jin Guangyao, if you think I am so easy to charm and deceive." Jin Guangyao stills, going worryingly pale, "You cannot kill me, slander me, manipulate others against me, or force me into a corner. I am Justice." Silver eyes sweep over all of them.

Wei Ying's eyes linger over Jin Guangyao's shaken expression before flickering over Xichen and Nie Mingjue.

"No one may escape me."

There's a sweeping wave of energy and everything freezes again.

Wangji remains stiff and silent as Wei Ying appears suddenly before him, leaning close enough that their breaths to mingle. Those eyes look even more otherworldly now, sparkling with the light of a thousand stars.

"Hanguang-jun," Wei Ying croons, "Don't keep your Wei Ying waiting for too long, hm?"

Wangji clenches his shaking hands, the proximity making his heart ache, "My Wei Ying?" He asks because he still remembers 'get lost' spoken in a hysterical, frenetic voice.

Wei Ying's expression softens a little, "Death gives clarity, my dear Lan Zhan. And ascension gives insight into fate and destiny. Wei Ying," He says and spins around cheekily, taking a few dancing steps away from him, "Wei Ying is always destined to be by Hanguang-jun's side." He winks, "Better hurry up! But not too soon! After our a-Yuan is old enough to stand on his own."

"Wei Ying - wait-"

The air starts moving again.

Wangji swallows and spins around, walking towards the gates of the Unclean Realm.

"Wangji-?"

"I must go ahead, xoingzhang, pray excuse me." He has no patience for Sect politics and formalities.

Wei Ying is waiting.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Kaeya Alberich

Words: 3,162

Tws: General yandere content, Kaeya being a dick

Summary: You’ve been trying to avoid the Favonius captain. He’s convinced you’re unsafe without him. If you don’t believe that, he’ll prove it to you.

"Traveler."

Your muscles tensed. The hairs on your skin raised up. How?

You turned your head towards the voice, a strained smile across your face. "Captain Kaeya!" You pushed with all your effort to make your voice sound pleasantly surprised, excited, sing-songy in the way anyone who knew you would expect upon being greeted with a familiar face. "What are you doing so far out?" You said it so very playfully, casually, as if it was a casual conversation maker and not a genuine question that burned in your mind.

What the hell was he doing so far out of his jurisdiction? What need does he have to be out all the way in Liyue?

Why did he have to show up when you specifically went out of your way to avoid him?

"Oh, I was looking for you. Asked around. Heard you were hanging around the area," He said, pulling out a chair and sitting in front of you, effectively cornering you in your little spot in the corner of the small tavern. He smiled, folding his hands together and resting his chin on them. "I just sent a couple knights out to look for you."

He made no effort to even try to hide it. He was completely shameless. That explained the Favonius knight that had appeared in the tavern earlier - you'd felt uneasy as you saw the man gaze around, halting when he made eye contact with you, before abruptly stepping out as quickly as he'd come in. You should have trusted your gut and left as soon as you could - but here you were.

When you'd first met Kaeya, you'd admired the young captain. He was brave, skilled, charming, and undeniably a very attractive man. His charisma made him a well-respected, well-liked person throughout Mondstadt, even if his reputation did include an arrogance that was just as well-known as his skill.

That was the issue - you'd noticed that trait, that one characteristic about the man that made you uneasy, that upset you so greatly that you had resolved to avoid him entirely. Well, three traits.

One, he was obsessive, clingy, attached to a degree far too unnatural for someone who had known you for such a short time.

Two, Kaeya was a little overly touchy. It was just on the border of your discomfort, too noticeable for you to feel okay with it, but too mild to feel justified in confronting him about it. Everywhere you went with him, you could always feel his hands somewhere on your person.

And three, Kaeya was perhaps the most condescending, self-righteous person you'd ever met. He was always, always right. You never knew what you were talking about. He always knew better. He was always smarter, you were always dumber. Or so he seemed to believe. You'd grown to be increasingly irked, insulted whenever he would treat you like some naive idiot, reminding you how you, some foreigner, had no grasp on reality in this world. Really, you were hopeless, you really should let him stay by your side, help your poor naive little self navigate the world, since you were so incapable on your own.

"Oh," you finally responded, snapping out of your thoughts, smile straining, trying to come up with some response to the utterly creepy truth he'd been so shameless to reveal. "Yeah, I came out here for a few days. Really, uh, pretty area."

"Mm. That it is. This place attracts a good deal of tourists," he tilted his head. "The route here is... Particularly dangerous, though. You didn't travel here all by yourself, did you?" His eye contact was unwavering, and you found yourself breaking away, opting to gaze downward. "Or were you... Accompanied?"

"Ah, I came here by myself," you answered. "I didn't encounter any dangers... Outside a few hilichurls."

"Hilichurls are responsible for quite a few deaths in the area. You shouldn't underestimate them," he remarked. "Really, that's an unwise decision, coming here alone... You really should have sought some protection."

"Oh, I'm pretty good with a sword. I can take care of myself."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Is that so?" His voice was amused. Condescending. As if you were a child, some little kid insisting on your competence. "I'm sure you'd fare well, if you found yourself surrounded by them. Or worse," his voice darkened, "some... Other forces. Plenty of bandits and other criminals walk the roads in the Mondstat region."

Isn't it your and your knights' job to deal with that?

"O-oh, I see. Well, it's a good thing I didn't run across any of those..."

"Yes, it is." The blunt statement left you feeling your stomach churn with awkward silence that followed. The undertone - the clear hint of frustration - of his voice made you shiver. "They could easily catch you off guard..."

You'd left Mondstadt almost solely to get away from him for a few days. You needed some respite. The irritation in you boiled over ever so slightly. "It's ok, I'm pretty sharp. I'm always on guard."

Since meeting him, Kaeya had been attached to you virtually every waking moment of the day - no, he insisted on being near when you slept, too. On the very day of your arrival, he'd insisted you sleep in the knight headquarters, despite how many times you repeated that an inn was perfectly suitable. It was safer, he claimed. Safest in the little spare room just down the hall from his own, where he could come check on you before you settled down for the night. The first time, you'd been startled, flushing as he stood in your door frame, thinking that the moment he realized you were barely clothed in your sleeping gown, he'd surely get flustered and leave, but he didn't, opting to talk to you for several minutes before turning away. That experience had been... uncomfortable.

He'd been everywhere you were, both inside of Mondstadt and, albeit a bit less, in the wilderness. You weren't even sure how he kept appearing exactly wherever you were - you'd be minding your own business, and a knight of Favonius would appear in your line of sight - soon after, Kaeya would always appear. No matter what time of day, no matter how far out you were, no matter what you wore or who you were with. Even if you had other people in a party with you, he insisted on showing up, as he claimed, for your safety. Sure, you had other companions that could try to guard you, but really, were they any valid comparison for a swordsman of his caliber?

You didn't need them, he could easily be more than enough, surpass any other companions you could take with you.

"Excuse me miss," a waitress approached. Oh no. "Did you and your friend need anything else?"

You knew what was coming, but he moved to speak before you could, snapping his head towards the woman. "No. Could you kindly leave us alone?"

The poor girl's eyes widened. "O-of course. My apologies." She quickly scurried off.

You'd never seen him be anything short of rude, even downright nasty, towards anyone that entered his presence. Somehow, you felt that he likely wasn't like that when it was just him - he was too clearly well-liked to be so rude all the time.

"Anyhow," he turned back to you, "I came here primarily to fetch you... Extremely important matters happening back in Mondstadt. That bard is looking for you. Something about Stormterror?"

Oh. That changed things.

"Something's wrong with him?"

"Mhm. Apparently so, but I don't have any details. Your assistance is needed immediately, apparently. Come," he smiled again, rising and extending his hand, "I'll take you back."

It shouldn't bother you - you should be grateful. You should simply sigh, and acknowledge that even if he was clingy, even if he was unnecessarily protective, there was nothing wrong here, there was nothing about the situation that should give you the feeling that it did.

It was a weight in your stomach, a twisting in your gut. Something instinctive, something in your deepest, most primal senses, was set off, a chill seeping through your blood. An innate sense in your very core that directed your actions, told you to get away.

But your trained sense of social decency rejected such an idea. He was being gracious, kind, helpful, and although he might put you at unease sometimes, Kaeya was known for being an upstanding person. And besides, logically, someone who seemed to like you so much wouldn't do anything to harm you.

You realized that you had frozen in place, briefly lost in your thoughts. He cocked his head. "Something the matter...?"

"N-no! No, I'm fine, I'm coming," you stood hurriedly, pushing the chair back as you did. "Thank you, Captain Kaeya."

He hummed in approval. "Of course. What kind of knight would I be, letting a defenseless girl wander back alone?" He paused. "I'll always protect you, so long as you actually bother to tell me when you plan to disappear." Despite his smile, there was an obvious hint of passive aggressive irritation in his voice, and you tried not to cringe in discomfort.

"Oh, aha, I'll be sure to let you know next time."

"I'd appreciate that."

You wondered how you'd apologize next time when you conveniently forgot your promise.

As you exited the little tavern, dropping mora on the bar for the owner, you felt a firm hand on the small of your back, pushing you through the doorframe. The touch made you shiver, and it lingered, like a brand against your skin.

The walk back was lively, you weren't bored with Kaeya to talk to. Even if his conversation was primarily bragging about this or that, telling you all the oh-so-wonderful feats he'd accomplished in his time, it was better than silence, you supposed. You were back to Mondstadt fairly quickly - no hilichurl encounters, although you did briefly run across a few slimes that he insisted on taking down by himself.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" He stopped in the middle of whatever he had been going on about - honestly, you weren't paying that great of attention. 

"What? I-I'm fine," you responded, eyes wide.

"Really?" he looked at you with something like concern in his uncovered eye, brows furrowing with worry. "You look... a little sick." Suddenly, he pushed the back of his hand against your forehead. "You feel hot, too."

Well, now you did feel warm, his touch leaving a searing feeling on your skin. "A-are you sure? I don't think I'm..."

"No, you're definitely coming down with something." He glanced over in the opposite direction, where the city walls were not too far off. "You probably haven't even realized it yet. I could carry you the rest of the way, if you'd like."

"O-oh, ah, no, that's fine! I can walk... just... fine..." You found yourself trailing off, embarrassment making your face burn. 

"Well, why don't we stop by the Knights' Headquarters before we go to meet that... Venti, was it? We have a nurse there that could see to you."

"I..." you paused. Once again, that dreadful, sickly feeling rose in your stomach. Something telling you that something was wrong.

And again, you pushed it back. "Ok, sure."

He hummed in acknowledgement, swiftly moving towards the gates. "Let's hurry, then. Let me know if you change your mind and want me to carry you." He added a slight smirk to his last sentence. You weren't sure if you found it endearing or irritating.

Once you got back, as expected, Kaeya began directing you to the Knights of Favonius headquarters. And you followed him, all the way in, all the way down the stairs, all the way into the hall -- wait.

You figured perhaps he was absent-mindedly headed that way out of force of habit. "Uh... Kaeya, are you sure we're going the right way? This is..."

The same little tucked-away hallway that your rooms were in. In fact, you were literally coming up on your room.

He stopped, turning his head your way with a soft smile. "No worries. You're really starting to look like the blood is draining from your face... I just figured I can bring the nurse down here." He paused next to your room, then took a step back, motioning his head, as if to tell you to go in. "Just sit down, I'll find her and bring her this way."

The churning was stronger than before. Every hair on your body stood up. Every instinct you had told you something was not right.

Nonetheless, yet again, you didn't listen.

Your feet clicked on the stone floor as you walked through the door. It all occurred so quickly, your mind spun. It felt like a punch to the gut, the air knocked out of you, the impact pain pulsing as your back was slammed into the wall. Strong hands kept a bruising grip on your shoulders. The room spun around you, head dizzy and struggling to process. What snapped you into awareness was a cold, sharp chill pressed right up against your neck, and a firm knee pressed between your legs.

He had you pinned to the wall, sword hovering ever so slightly above the skin on top of your veins. You gasped for air from the impact. "K-Kaeya!" You managed to choke out. You couldn't form anything beyond that. Panic was surging through your body, mind overwhelmed as survival instinct tried and failed to find a quick way to get away.

"What's that?" He pressed his face forward, almost nuzzling it into your neck. You could feel him smirking against your skin. "I believe I remember you saying something about how you couldn't be caught off guard...?" 

You were vaguely aware that you would normally be angry - furious - over whatever was happening here, but primal fear still controlled your brain at the moment, unable to feel anything but panic. You trembled.

"This is what I meant when I said you should be more careful," he muttered. "You think you're so capable and strong, but look at how easily I could trap you... I could kill you, right now, so easily."

Your body shook fiercely. You felt tears begin to gather around your eyes. "I-I just... Trust... You..." Your voice was weak, frail, trembling harder than your body. "You're, you're my, m-my friend..."

"Mm, plenty of people will come along pretending to be your friend, (y/n). You're very, very lucky that I actually do have your best interest in mind." Finally, he lowered the sword from your throat. You released a breath you hadn't realized you were holding in, and you felt your knees give way, stumbling forward, quite literally falling into his arms. He dropped the sword in order to catch you, and it clattered to the ground.

Your shaking hands grasped his arms, fingers digging firmly into his skin, desperate for some sturdy stillness to cling to. There was a moment of silence.

"You see, (y/n)? Think about all the people that wouldn't just be proving a point like I am... All the people that might want to really hurt you... Do awful things to you... Aren't you grateful I'm not like that?" His voice was deeper than its usual tone, and you felt his chest vibrate as he spoke from where your head was pressed against him. It was low yet soft, almost a growl, yet almost a whisper.

You were breathing rapidly, forehead pressed against his chest. You didn't respond.

"I said, aren't you grateful that I don't want to hurt you?"

"Y-yes," you found your voice. You didn't know what else to say.

"And you understand now... You need me. You need me there to protect you from bad people. You're so easy to trick and overpower... So naive... Imagine what could happen if you get into this situation again, but for real... And I'm not there?" He reached one hand up, stroking the back of your head. "Surely, you understand that now, don't you?"

You nodded.

"That's good. I hope you remember that, next time you try to run off." He tsk-ed, tilting his head to rest his chin on top of your head, grip on your shoulder increasing, almost crushing. "Honestly, you should really just be guarded full time. I could probably arrange that."

As you began to calm down, the reality of the situation began to dawn on you. Anger rose in place of the fear. He had the audacity to do something like this, and blame you for trusting him? You wanted to speak up, say something, but that same primal instinct told you it was a bad idea.

This time, you listened. 

He gently shifted, setting you down on the bed. "Now, you really do look sick, truly. Tell you what, I'll just go see that bard in your stead, tell him you couldn't make it. We'll have to just figure something out. I'll tell the nurse to come down here."

"Wh-what?" You started to stand on your shaking legs. "No, I-"

"You really can't be going out," he grabbed your shoulders and firmly pushed you back. "Really. You'll just get worse. Better to recover faster, than prolong your illness, no?"

"I don't feel si-"

"You are sick." Once again, his smile was betrayed by the irritation in his voice. "Don't tell me you don't know about the Mondstadt influenza? No wonder. You're foreign, so you're probably highly susceptible to illnesses you've never encountered."

You'd been given a rundown of local illnesses by Lisa, actually, but didn't recall such a thing. "I've... Never heard -"

"You won't feel symptoms for several days after first showing signs. You're very lucky I'm used to seeing it." He pulled out a watch, eyebrows rising. "Oh, look at that. It's already time to meet the bard. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Wait-" 

"It'll only be a few minutes. I'll be back soon."

"Captain Ka-"

"Get some rest now."

The door shut firmly. You heard his heavy footsteps quickly sprint down the hall.

A nurse never came. Ten minutes passed, half an hour. You thought about trying to go find her yourself. Maybe he was actually being honest. Maybe you were sick. You almost wanted him to be right. You would prefer being sick to the idea that he might be lying to you.

You preferred worrying about being sick to worrying about the implications and meanings of the situation if he was lying to you.

You finally stood, resolving to go find a knight yourself, ask for directions to the nurse. Something. Anything to get your mind away from this, distract yourself from your brain's racing to process what had happened just before.

The metal lock rattled against the wood as you tried and failed, with increasing desperation, increasing heartbeat, increasing rapid breaths, to open the door.