#and guess who didn’t sleep
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im great ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽👍
#I’ve got 2 back to back finals today and another tomorrow#and guess who didn’t sleep#finals week#sparkle off#it’s Thursday#after all this I still have to do laundry and dishes#fuck these stupid baka exams
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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it’s so hard to tell sometimes if i’m sick because i’m just always kind of sick or if i’m sick with something contagious. “i feel bad and some symptoms are different from the usual symptoms but the cumulative effect is still in my general standard range of Feel Bad.” i wish we had like broad spectrum contagious virus home tests that are like covid tests. the “is this just a problem for me or a problem for society” test.
#the symptoms#like i was exposed to covid (masked around ppl who were symptomatic & i tested negative)#but also i didn’t sleep one night this week and then worked a long hard day (of covid shenanigans)#which is enough on its own to set me back and i always seem to be adding new symptoms to the list anyway#so i’ll sleep all day so i can go back to work tomorrow i guess!#tired of never having any fun!!!!!!
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i need to tug on anakin’s asshair to direct him like remy with his pet twink in ratatouille
#hey guess who didn’t sleep last night#me :3#this should be deleted in a few hours when i rediscover shame#thirza x anakin#thirza shitposts#anakin shitpost
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Was re-reading tbosas’s final chapter and the fact that there’s people out there who vehemently deny Sejanus’s importance to the story when the climax of the book hinges entirely around his death is insane to me
#sejanus plinth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#lucy gray asking ‘who’s the third?’ is the culmination of his role in the story#if Coriolanus had killed anybody else it wouldn’t have mattered#but the fact that it was SEJANUS is what changed everything#and yet some people keep trying to tell me he didn’t matter#whatever helps them sleep at night I guess#*
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I had this thought last night abt Aizawa with his tiny tiny newborn. Wearing a teeny handmade baby hat, it’s black and has lil yarn versions of his goggles.
#you know how in the team up missions#the 1A kids made him a new sleeping bag#for some reason I see Bakugo being the one who made it- I love the hc that he can crochet/knit/sew bc of his parents#anyway sobbing#bnha x reader#aizawa shota x reader#aizawa shouta#bnha#ashe talks#I guess this could be abt Eri too if you didn’t wanna go giving Aizawa another kid
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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I love it when a small little flutter of a writing idea pops into my head and sends me spiraling into a fit of madness and screaming at my friend
#double life smp#impulsesv#bdubs#writing#fanfic ideas#my brain came up with this right when i was about to sleep#so guess who didn’t sleep#shakey foolish thumbs up
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Sometimes you are just trying to sleep and your brain conjures up an image of Jack Frost from rise of the guardians to earnestly explain to you that he’s “not human. Not really. Even though I started out human, I’m not now. It’s like eggs, right? You can start out with eggs, but then you start adding flour and heat and all sorts and suddenly you have cake. Once you have cake, you can’t ever go back to being eggs, even if you started as eggs. You see that right?”
“Anyway, when I bleed I don’t bleed blood, it’s all just river water, see?”
#my dreams#eggs into cake dream#hey brain what the fuck does this mean what are you trying to communicate here#Jack Frost#the absolute earnestness he was giving off when he said ‘it’s like eggs right’#I guess this is applicable to my oc dusty who is fae but started out human?? the wrong changeling child?#also need people to know that the last line was said with just as much earnestness#maybe it was all a preamble for Jack Frost to show off the fact that he bleeds water idk#thought it would spook me if he didn’t convince me he straight up just wasn’t human first? so maybe I shouldn’t expect blood?#didn’t Jack Frost die in a pond anyway#shouldn’t he be bleeding pond water not river water#idk I’m going back to sleep I have work tomorrow
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picture day the day after i get my period fml
#my mom already told me to wear makeup like#i get my acne gets bad but i did NOT need to hear that 😭#also told her that i felt fat and her answer was to tell me “that’s because that’s where you’re getting”#and then proceeding to tell me my dog who sleeps seventeen hours a day moves more than me#sorry i study? sorry i have hw i guess? like i’m trying to keep a regular workout schedule btw i’m just having a hard time balancing#like i didn’t need to hear that at all i’ve been thinking about it all day#💪💪💪#vent
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KITCAT!!! I FOUND THE PERFECT CURE FOR YOUR SICKNESS!!!
REMEMBER THEM??? WELL TODAY I SAW THEM NOT HIDING FOR THE FIRST TIME (i think cause the ground's wet cause it rained)
Awwww I just wanna take and cuddle them! And mess with their fur because I love it to annoy cats hehehe.
Thank you for these wonderful cat pictures, now I‘ll probably heal faster. Though I can tell you that cats don‘t help you to rest, every time you want to sleep they‘ll go into the MEOW-I‘M-DYING-GIMME-FOOD-mode (you can tell, I‘m tired).
#ask#thanks for the ask#thank you#cats#CATS#kitties#thanks leta#gosh#i’m so tired#didn’t sleep much last night#and guess who doesn’t let me sleep at all today#the little spawn of hell#<- sry for the rant#and yeah#thanks for the little kitties#<3
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Me listening my SteinSpirit playlist
Strangers by Ethel Cain plays
#Im acting like I didn’t put it myself#anyways I wont elaborate the song is good#also out of context I think I can finally sleep early tonight wish me luck#so it was a fucking lie#its 4 am guess whos awake#I think I need some external help to sleep#NOT FAIR NOT FAIR#GET THIS MORTAL SHELL OUTTA ME I AM NOT MADE FOR SLEEPING#ITS BORING I COULD BE DRAWINF I COULD BE MAKING CUTE SCENERIOS IN MY HEAD#I COULD MAKE OCS I COULD BUILD OCS#INSTEAD I HAVE TO BE AKF 8 HOURS MİN EVERYNIGHT!?#damn humans suck I wanna go back#anyway time for my forced afk session hopefully 4 hours is enough
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okay so labour won big why am I actually fucking terrified seeing the reform numbers
#well!! we’re going even further right i fucking guess#these are two leave voting labour seats but still that’s kinda terrifying#the tories yes were right but they weren’t all super far right and they had to at least kinda pretend to care about things#if they DO get these 13 seats that’s gonna change so much and probably push the tories even further right anyway because that’s WHY they los#they’re saying it rn! not conservative enough!#with any kind of luck the party implodes within 4 years but I don’t think that’s likely#I kinda didn’t think about how bad this would be#but yeah we have a far right doing really fucking well now and they’re gonna be in second place in a Lot of places#I’m gonna sleep soon I don’t think I can stomach staying up much later tonight#hopefully there’ll be some good news abt the greens or lib dems doing a bit better#praying we get 4 green seats#also man genuinely fuck the House of Lords but it is nice to see someone who’s not insane and just campaigning as the labour guy on bbc#praying he’s right abt reform being mostly protest votes#the reform deputy leader is. one of the most annoying people I have heard though#labour better do what they fucking promised here bc if they don’t we’re all screwed#anyway! maybe this is a sign to move to bristol. or just. move. but we are also late to the far right party party so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#luke.txt#I’m not gonna sleep properly tonight but so be it
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Did sleeping help
No </3
#vent#tsk. isn’t it like. if you hate everything then eat#if you think everyone hates you then sleep#if you hate yourself take a shower?#sooooooooo. uhhhhhhh. didnt. work?#hng. artfight... I was so excited I have so many ideas#but it’s like. everything is triggering me or making me upset or freaked out or sick. idk what to do#I go ‘oh lemme see what my friends have done so far’ and then I see an oc from someone not my friend anymore and I’m like. ougghhh#I feel like such a baby for caring. stupid for being upset still. it’s like it only mattered to me and no one else had to deal with such#crippling anxiety and stress because of it#everyone is getting so much done so fast and I STILL can’t submit the second thing I did. I’m going to lose my head or cry or both or die or#SOMETHING uhhhhhhggggggg and it’s like all my anxieties are circling back around cus it was this time last year shit hit the fan#I have college!! I have no clue what my plans are!! all I’m good for is making fake people and drawing said people!!#I’m such a fucking. stupid.. I wasn’t even supposed to take this last semester off. we just didn’t know what other classes to take or what#to focus on... I’ve been literally free all day every day since December and it’s like I’m STILL not doing anything worthwhile#mmm I’m so alone in this I can’t DEAL well I guess I’ve been ‘dealing’ but I don’t believe thinking about bad situations literally every day#since they’ve happened can be considered as ‘dealing’ with it. I doubt anyone else is thinking about it that hard but I can’t help it#I can’t do a complete cut off from the internet. my only friends are here! what then? then I’m just. some sad sack who doesn’t talk to#anyone? mmm this isn’t a good way to start the day but I can’t NOT think. it’s all I do. my brain is one of the things that makes be I can’t#self labotomize myself into being a chiller person without killing everything that makes me with it#ugh. I’m going to be stuck in this headspace forever. even with apologies and make ups or agreements to stay apart#I’ll still be the one dealing with the negatives and fallout from shitty situations. funny seeing as I still don’t understand how things#even escalated so fast. but whatever. I’m the bad wolf forever. can’t change that
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(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.
#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see#there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity#(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of#ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try#it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol#still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS#it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i#hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that#i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about#in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME#so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal#unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though#will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that
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I have three thoughts that pop up every time I see a dusthide. Not all of them each time, but at least one
Most common thought: he have no ears 😭
Second most common: armadillo (armadillos have ears though, so I guess more pangolin? But the way they are segmented… the pangolin thing reminds me of their claws more though. Hmm, overthinks what species of real animals one can compare them to)
And the final one: so, remember those toys from the 2000s that you put on a magnet and they went from a ball to a little guy?
Update, I have gotten sleep and am now confused about why I was so sad every time I saw that they had no ears
#emma posts#flight rising#every. single. time. my brain says that first one#I cannot look at them without thinking about their no ear smooth head#which is kinda funny because many dragons have no ears#but they have other stuff and aren’t so smooth#will my brain shut UP about the ear thing?#I hope it does#I didn’t get much sleep and my brain keeps getting irrationally sad about no ears#I HAVE NO LOGICAL REASON TO FEEL SAD ABOUT THIS#i just had a terrible night and now my emotions are wacky#rational mind: looking at the design. sleep deprived irrational mind: smooth head#I’m trying to think of dragons who have visible ears and I’ve thought of three#imperials spirals and veilspun#but most dragons have spines or feathers#I forgot pearlcatchers.#I also forgot obelisk. this is going to repeat itself isn’t it#they call me the forgetter because I#I actually do have memory problems irl#I forgot gaoler. but in my defense I don’t actually have any of those in my lair so I will use that excuse#snappers are a bit of a conundrum because their ear holes are visible but they have no real external ear structure#I remembered correctly! tundra have external ears! I just only have one tundra rn so I was second guessing before I checked
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