#and he would specifically have a hard time looking at kevin and not remembering being in his shoes

[dayurno]

Do you ever just think about how the headboard on Kevin's bed on the Nest doesn't budge. Of all the hints about what his life there was like that's the one that gets to me the most because it's so deliberate. Because even though he's probably physically stronger than Riko or at least evenly matched, Kevin wouldn't fight back. But he wasn't given the choice to anyway

honestly i think putting neil in kevin’s side of the room is such a telling choice during the castle evermore scenes. we spend so much of the first and second book hearing about how much kevin fears his so-called family, their haunting of the narrative as bloodthirsty hounds who can sniff out his fear, and when we actually get to finding out why that is we see it from someone who was immediately shoved into kevin’s old place. riko wasn’t just hurting neil because he wanted to (“i’m going to enjoy hurting you just as much as i enjoyed hurting kevin”), he was making sure neil knew he was inferior by putting him in direct contact with the roles kevin and jean played in the nest, using him as a substitute for the one that got away. neil gets a speedrun of some of the worst moments of kevin’s life, and he gets not a single breathing moment for it before he has to be shoved back into exy, like kevin was

i wouldn’t dare presume nora sakavic’s intentions on anything at this point, but i like the idea that neil’s stay at evermore was supposed to tell us all we needed to know about kevin’s time there, without kevin ever having to actually recount the years (he wouldn’t, even if he could): that it was horrifying, and that being in his shoes will never be as glamorous as neil previously thought. i like the breaking of neil’s expectations for kevin; i like how it makes neil realize the life kevin led was not better. and that’s the point, isn’t it? when neil is lying in kevin’s bed, handcuffed to kevin’s headboard, his legs pinned under kevin’s only friend, getting hurt by kevin’s brother, that’s what neil realizes: this is not better. it might be different than life on the run, but it is not better.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - 41

PREV

Two and a half hours into the Banquet and FF had not moved from the chair he had sat in at the start of the banquet. He hadn’t gotten up for water. Hadn’t gotten up to go to the bathroom. Hadn’t gotten up to dance despite Nicky’s pleading. He hadn’t even gotten up when a Raven had come over and asked him to.

He was not leaving his seat.

The stadium could be on fire and he’d still try to be the last one out.

Until there was a time where he could slide out of this chair without a single eye on him and put on his winter jacket without it seeming strange he was going to remain seated.

The answer on why was under his precisely placed napkin.

It had all begun about an hour and fifteen minutes ago, not that FF was counting. Dinner had been wrapping up and people had started to get up and jostle about. Flirtations were flying across the table and generally over FF’s head. The team had been smiling, there’d been laughter, and it had seemed unlikely for anything to go wrong.

He relaxed and that’s where he made a mistake.

FF could not eat the meal served. He’d had his liquid dinner on the way over on the bus so it didn’t bother him much to have a decent looking meal in front of him and not being able to eat it. He wasn’t going to eat so he hadn’t even unwrapped his cutlery, wanting to save the clean up crew from at least his set of utensils. He hadn’t placed the napkin over his lap to protect himself, what danger could there possibly be when he was not going to be eating?

The danger came when a Trojan smacked the table hard as he laughed at something that he had taken as a joke but, knowing Kevin, was probably a serious suggestion.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin so that it fell off of his plate and onto his lap.

Fell right onto his unprotected lap.

FF had looked down at his gray pants now irreversibly blemished by the errant meatball. His mind flashing back to when Nicky had decided on these pants. Remembers how Nicky hadn’t wanted him to vanish in the lower lighting of the banquet.

FF had grabbed his cutlery and put the napkin over his lap, far too late to save his pants, but fast enough that no one would see that he had spaghetti pants.

After that the trajectory of his evening had changed dramatically.

He was going to sit here all night until they were getting into the bus and then he’d have his winter jacket on and it was a long jacket that would cover his mark of shame. You might think that FF could just slip under the radar and go try and clean off the stain or at least hide somewhere less conspicuous.

He would, he really would, except he can feel the eyes of Captain Jeremy on him regardless of how low his presence is. FF entered into Ultra Stealth but Captain Jeremy merely turned to him and asked a friendly question that had Nicky startle remembering that FF was next to him still. 

Captain Jeremy has x-ray vision and can see the wall behind the wallpaper. Captain Jeremy can see colors that mantis shrimp can only dream of. Captain Jeremy is standing in some secret government office pointing on the radar as CIA and Military officials look on going “What are you talking about he’s right here?” with a smile.

Captain Jeremy was the kid that ate all the cheap fruit on a dessert table before he looked at the cake when he was a kid.

It’s the first time in his entire life that he’d been completely unable to slip below someone’s attention and if it were any other time he might feel good about that. Might enjoy the idea of being seen and having the attention of someone like Captain Jeremy on him.

Except FF has Spaghetti Pants.

FF cannot escape the man’s determination to ‘make it up’ to him after Aaron had let slip that FF had a restraining order against one of his brothers.

FF insisted that it was okay.

Captain Jeremy insisted on making sure he had a good time.

FF insisted that a good time for him would be to sit at this table all night by himself. He kept to himself that what would really make it would be for him to sit without anyone around to notice he had spaghetti pants.

Captain Jeremy seemed to think that it was due to the still healing stomach injury and insisted on at least keeping him company then, unaware of the unvoiced second part.

So Captain Jeremy of the USC Trojans had declared himself FF’s banquet buddy. A man that was friends or at least friendly with almost every single player here at the banquet.

He looks around the banquet and sees the various tense standoffs at the other tables. These were men and women who would find even the smallest thing and never let you forget it.

He doesn’t know what he’d do if they realize he had spaghetti pants.

How does one recover on the court when the person you’re up against can remember the cold December evening that you dumped a meatball on your pants? He can already hear the jeering nicknames.

He wants to sink into his seat but he’s afraid to shift at all, worried he’ll dislodge the napkin in some way and the newest person coming up to say ‘Hi’ to Jeremy Knox will notice the marinara stain on his pants.

While Jeremy was distracted he did try to wet Nicky’s disposed of napkin to perhaps clean himself off a bit except before he could a Raven came up to him, “Come with me.” a large Raven Backliner says, jerking his head towards the bathrooms.

“No thank you.” FF answers in return, “I don’t need to do that.” he says assuming that the Backliner had seen him shift in his seat and assume he needed to use the restroom.

The Raven Backliner stood for a few moments as if waiting for him to change his mind but then Captain Jeremy’s attention snapped back, “Can we help you with something?” Captain Jeremy asks and his friendly demeanor had vanished.

“I-” The Raven Backliner started to say before seemingly deciding that it wasn’t worth it and walked away.

Captain Jeremy and him continued to talk. They had somehow fallen onto the SAW movie franchise and FF could admit that he was surprised that the Trojan Captain had watched the series.

“You need to come with me.” A Raven Striker says coming up and interrupting the two of them as they talked about the ethics of SAW. FF believed that it was all well and good to learn to appreciate life but there had to be simpler ways to go about teaching that. Jeremy didn’t disagree, he just also thought that sometimes there were some people who Jigsaw never intended to redeem and those people may have deserved their fates.

FF tilts his head, “Do I?” he asks since it didn’t seem like the ERC had made any sort of announcement and she seems utterly and completely perplexed by his response.

The girl looks at him, looks over her shoulder, looks back at him, “Yes?” she responds sounding so unsure that even FF wouldn’t believe her.

“I don’t think he does.” Captain Jeremy interrupts gaze utterly cooled from the warm one he had been giving FF throughout their philosophical debate.

The Raven Striker looks cowed and FF almost feels bad for her but not bad enough to console her when he has spaghetti pants.

She leaves.

FF and Captain Jeremy’s conversation shifts to winter break plans. Captain Jeremy is going home to his family and he’s taking Jean Moreau with him. “I think my mom likes him more than she likes me sometimes.” Jeremy laughs heartily. “He deserves nice holidays though so I’m always happy to bring him up.” he says voice and features going soft as he looks to where Jean Moreau was standing with a raised eyebrow next to Andrew as Kevin and Neil were having some animated conversation.

FF talks about his own plans with the Foxes and how he’ll be spending the break with them. He thinks Captain Jeremy looks a little sad about that but whatever sadness there is Captain Jeremy moves past it quickly and starts to ask if he had plans to go anywhere specific in New York. He heartily recommends the LEGO store when FF says he’s never been.

“Someone important wishes to speak with you.” An Offensive Dealer from the Ravens says and he looks like he’s about to shake apart as he stands in front of them.

“Who?” He asks, tilting his head and sipping his water.

The Dealer looks at him.

“Is it that hard of a question to answer?” Captain Jeremy asks voice stern once again.

“He’s…Master is-” The Dealer goes paler and Smith can’t help but pull out his handkerchief from his front suit pocket as he sees the Dealer break out into a cold sweat.

“You don’t look well, maybe you should sit down?” he asks with his handkerchief extended in offer. The man looks at him and then the handkerchief and then takes it. “Thank you.” he says 

“Wow a handkerchief? My pocket square is just a fake one sewed in.” Captain Jeremy laughs jovial once again as the Raven took a seat shakily.

“It’s something my dad used to always say.” Smith thinks about the additional handkerchiefs in his pockets. “A gentleman always has a handkerchief on hand to help.” He pulls out a second one, “A real gentleman has two.” he adds and folds the new handkerchief into shape for the pocket square again.

Captain Jeremy laughs, “Sounds like a great guy! He must be happy you took his advice to heart.” he says and it doesn’t hurt that bad when Captain Jeremy is saying it since he’s saying something so nice.

“I hope so.” he agrees and doesn’t feel like ruining the mood.

Captain Jeremy turns his attention back onto the Raven who has taken a seat and his eyes soften on the Raven, “Wow you really are pale. Not a lot of sunlight in the Nest?” he asks.

The Dealer swallows, now visibly the most nervous person at the table which is saying something considering that FF is at the table.”I-I’m just pale naturally.” he denies.

“Sit and talk with us until you feel better.” Captain Jeremy insists, “What’s your name by the way?” he asks.

“Michael.” He answers awkwardly.

“Great, my name is Jeremy,” Captain Jeremy points at himself, “and this is Smith. So, have you ever been to New York City before?” he asks

Captain Jeremy, FF, and Michael chat at length about Michael’s New York pizza recommendations. Captain Jeremy asks about some of the places he has been in New York and the longer Michael is there chatting the more color comes to his face and the more vehement he becomes that Captain Jeremy managed to pick all the worst places by accident.

“You’re kidding me! It was 10 bucks a slice, it has to be good!” Captain Jeremy exclaims looking as if Michael was telling him Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real.

“If you’re paying more than $2.50 it’s a rip.” Michael insists passionately. “If it’s more expensive than the subway ticket then it’s a racket!” he slams his fist down at the table.

“You mean to tell me that I was lied to by that person I followed on Twitter?” Captain Jeremy asks, appalled.

“Swindled.” Michael insists.

“Christ, I’ve given that recommendation to so many people.” Captain Jeremy and while gesturing he puts his elbow in his own remaining spaghetti, “Oh shit.” he says. Smith looks at the black suit jacket and thinks about a future one step to the left where he had on black pants and a black suit jacket.

“I’m sure it’s good.” FF tries to comfort offering Jeremy his third handkerchief, this one from his left pocket since the one in his breast pocket was a specific color for the ‘look’ that Nicky had wanted. “It’s just not representative of a New York slice,” he adds.

“Thanks Smith.” Captain Jeremy takes the handkerchief wetting it with the glass of water nearby and wiping away the excess of marinara and spaghetti. “I’m going to go wash this off and try to dry it for you.” he says holding the handkerchief up.

“You don’t have to do that.” FF says but Jeremy is waving him off as he stands.

“Sit tight, I’ll be right back.” he says and heads off.

FF turns to Michael, “So I shouldn’t trust anything more than $2.50?” he asks.

Michael shakes his head and turns to look at FF, “Absolutely not.” he says with a smile before FF can see his eyes flick away and he stiffens. “Hey, it’s…” he looks down and the handkerchief, “it’s been nice chatting with you but… is there anyway we can take this conversation somewhere else?” he asks.

FF blinks, “No, I’m not getting up until the party is over.” Smith declines because by this point the stain has set. There is no stealthily cleaning it now that Captain Jeremy has left.

“So, you’ll get up once the banquet is over?” Michael asks leaning across the table and as he does that Smith can see a fairly ugly bruise on the Dealer’s forehead.

“I’ll have to won’t I?” he asks because despite the not-zero possibility that he’ll get left behind by the team again. His gaze shifts to Nicky who is leaning heavily against Matt as the two sway back and forth dancing and laughing. Probably about 50/50 at this point, depending on how quickly FF can make his way out of the stadium.

Michael looks at him and there’s something in his eyes that feels saddened, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he says before rising to his feet. “Thank you for this.” he says and hands the handkerchief back. FF can’t help but notice how there was a schmear of make-up on it.

The Dealer walks off and FF waves him off with the handkerchief before sliding it back into his right pocket, where he kept dirty handkerchiefs. He lets his eyes wander across the banquet. He sees Aaron and Katelyn slow dancing to a song that is not a slow dance. He sees Kevin and Jean now in the middle of a passionate conversation. Jack is pouting by the punch bowl with a few other Sophomores patting him on the back. Sheena is seemingly trying to flirt with the older bartender. Nicky and Matt have somehow only gotten sloppier in the 2 minutes between when he last looked at them and now. Captain Neil and Andrew are at the dessert table and he sees Andrew offering Captain Neil a chocolate covered strawberry. He sees a gaggle of his fellow freshmen huddled together all sipping their drinks nervously he moves to wave them over back to the table. Threat of the reveal of his spaghetti pants aside he’s not used to be alone anym-

“What the fuck did you just say?!” He hears behind him.

“I said what I said. She wasn’t even that hot! Get over it!” Another mocking voice.

“That’s it!” the sound of glass shattering and all hell breaks loose.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

[anywaymurder]

A Coward's Coat

Chapter 55

Annori, Kevin and Raiden head to the apothecary. Stepping inside is like stepping into a forest! The air is warm and humid, and the smell of moss fills their noses, and all around them are plants - actual, growing plants. Annori recognizes several of them as swamp-native species, and notes a couple of rare specimens sometimes used in potions. It’s hard to see the edges of the room, but they eventually spot an archway leading into a more regular looking room. There they see the familiar face of Xadrynk! The goblin is discussing ways to catch up on his studies and finance his internship with a tall elf. Annori greets Xadrynk excitedly and tells the elf, referred to as Master Valm, that she can vouch for Xadrynk’s qualities. Valm seems unimpressed in the politest way he can manage, and asks Xadrynk to return after the gala to continue their conversation when he’s less busy. As he leaves, Xadrynk asks the group if they want to get together to catch up later, and they agree to meet him in the Majestic Mare that night. Master Valm asks Annori what she’s here for, and she explains she’s looking for a potion that would compel the drinker to speak the truth - preferably without knowing they’d been drugged. Realizing how bad that sounds, she adds: ‘But not for anything nefarious, of course!’ Grabbing Kevin, she says: ‘Look at us! Do we look like we’re up to no good??’ The elf raises an incredulous eyebrow and Raiden quickly steps in with a lie. He quietly tells Valm that Annori was recently the victim of such a potion, but is too embarrassed to talk about it, and they’re simply trying to ascertain what was in it to assess the damage done. Master Valm admits brewing such a potion is incredibly difficult, especially one that remains undetected, and that the drinker can always choose not to say anything. But he does have something along those lines: a potion that would make the drinker more likely to keep talking where they would normally hold their tongue. Annori buys the babbling potion for 100GP. 

Raiden asks the elf about the impressive array of indoor plants. When Annori mentions the swamp-specific species, Master Valm looks at her a bit differently than before. ‘Are they just letting strangers into the swamp, now?’ Annori explains her being there was a sort of exception, since she was in training with a druid. Recognizing Valm as a swamp elf now, she asks if he knows Ara Kresh. The name doesn’t ring a bell, but he encourages them to bring Ara by sometime. He admits it has been a few years since he left the swamp himself. ‘A few standard years, or elf years?’ she asks, earning herself a knowing smile from Valm. ‘A few hundred years.’

Meanwhile, Ara wanders around the city after his visit with Findire to clear his mind and get to know the streets of Anamdael better. Once he feels like sufficient time has passed he heads back to the Majestic Mare, where he occupies a large table in the back and glares at anyone who tries to join or take a chair. The rest of the party arrives not long after. Suddenly, they are approached by a small figure fidgeting nervously with the hood of his cloak. He asks if they’re the ones who found Xadrynk. ‘Who’s asking?’ counters Raiden. The young gnome quietly introduces himself as a friend of Xadrynk, and explains he’s in urgent need of help — the discreet kind — to find a missing person. He’d put notes on several of the city’s quest boards but so far had not gotten a response, and then he’d remembered Xadrynk talking about this group with such praise that he decided to come seek them out. He hands them a slip of paper containing an address in the Eastern Gardens and asks them to meet him there later that night, so that they may discuss the details in private. 

Once the nervous gnome leaves, Ara remarks that meeting someone late at night in a shady alleyway sounds like a good way to get ambushed. Raiden agrees that it has all the elements of a good set-up, but he does believe the kid to be genuine in his request. Kevin is also eager to offer their help, seeing how desperate he looked. They decide to go to the meetup, though they have several more hours to fill before it is time. They then remember that they’d agreed to ask Raiden some questions about himself, so they order some drinks and brace themselves for what promises to be an interesting conversation. 

Starting off strong, Annori asks Raiden what his favorite childhood memory is. It takes a good long while for him to answer, but then he tells them how he used to climb out onto the rooftop of their house in the evening, and instead of reprimanding him for it, his mother would simply sit in the open window and read him stories from there. They were often stories about adventurers, dragons, mermaids… though his favorites were the pirate stories. He confirms that that might have had something to do with him becoming a sailor later on. Ara asks him if the pirate story he told them during their first couple of days together was true. Raiden barely even remembers telling it, and admits that the whole thing was made up. Kevin inquires as to how many different identities he’s had. R: ‘I guess… five and a half? Maybe six? There was some overlap, it depends on how you wanna count it.’ Kevin remarks that it must be stressful to be a different person all the time. ‘On the contrary,’ the rogue replies, ‘I think there’s something very liberating about being someone else for a while. You can just take whatever holds you back, whatever worries or problems you might have had, and shed it like a coat. That’s someone else’s problem now. And you get this wonderful clean slate, for you to fill as you please. You get to go in without anyone expecting certain things from you. You could do anything. Be anything. It’s all up to you. And you get to experience a slice of life from a different view, sort of a ‘what-if’ situation. What if I'd grown up in a wealthy family? What if I’d always speak my mind? And then you mix it up a little every time, you experiment, you go nuts, because nobody knows you anyway, you don’t even know you, and if things don’t work out you can just move on to something new. No attachment. No stakes. No… having to face the consequences for the horrible things you’ve done.’ N: ‘Sooo what you’re saying is you’re a coward.’ R: ‘Very much so, yes. I have no delusions of bravery. But I was at least very good at being a coward.’ K: ‘Well, either way, I’m glad you decided to stay this time.’ R: ‘Thanks. I, uhh, am still on the fence about it. Not the staying, but the being glad about it.’ He explains that he’s spent so much time being different people, he’s not sure what parts of his personality are truly his and which were just performative. And once he’s found all that remains of him, what if he doesn’t like who that is? They ask him if he’s really afraid of animals. Raiden laughs bitterly and says that, regrettably, that has been a rare constant throughout his different lives. ‘They are unknowable and therefore unpredictable! With people, I know I can always figure out what type of people they are, and how I can — … mmm I’m looking for a word that doesn’t make it sound awful.’ A: ‘manipulate?’ R: ‘I mean: yes, but when you say it like that…’ Annori vehemently disagrees with his view on animals, and remarks he just has to get to know them. The group discusses the possibility of exposure therapy. R: ‘I sure am glad that this is the problem we have latched on to solving, now.’ Annori considers wildshaping but decides against it, not wanting to cause more chaos than they can currently handle. 

Changing the subject, Ara asks about the ring Raiden wears on a cord around his neck. Raiden sighs wistfully that he had such a great story in mind for that question, and he’s sad that he won’t get to tell it now. Instead, he explains it was his mother’s. And that it is currently the only thing, aside from the book, he has left of her. A: ‘What happened with your mother, anyway? We know she was convicted of a murder, but…’ R: ‘The short version is: I don’t actually know. The long version… She was an apprentice to the queen’s arcane advisor. What exactly that job entailed, she was always vague about, but she provided for us. We had a good life. She was everything to me. Then one day she… didn’t come home. Instead there were two guardsmen at the door who took everything. Every notebook, every scroll, every vial, every last scraping of powdered roots and herbs. Countless times did I go up to the barracks and beg to see her, to tell me what was going on. Not a word from the officials. But whispers flowed through the streets. All kinds of horrific rumors about what Tarrenwood did, one more gruesome than the next. It wasn’t long until my presence was met with nervous glances. I quickly found that every job opening had conveniently been filled just before I came around. That suddenly every meal had doubled in price. That the neighborhood kids I’d known for all of my life were no longer allowed to talk to me. Her name stuck to me like a curse everywhere I went. And so, finally, when a ship sailed into port looking to expand their crew, I left Andreas Tarrenwood and his misery behind and became somebody else.’ Kevin gives Raiden a big hug. ‘That must have been awful!’ R: ‘Yeah, it, uhh… wasn’t great. But I mostly spent the last ten years trying not to think about it at all. That is until I heard about Lord Hartwind’s death and saw the similarities. Fuck, it’s so strange saying this out loud. I’ve never told anyone this.’ N: ‘Never? Not to anyone?’ R: ‘Not to anyone. Look, it’s not like I was never planning on telling you. I guess I just thought I had a bit more time before we started getting close enough to getting answers that those kinds of questions would start to come up. But in the end it wasn’t up to me.’ A: ‘You know, it’s not even that you didn’t tell us — your personal history is really none of our concern. It’s the fact that we were all prepared to support you, we were there lying and fighting on your behalf, and you decided to screw us over anyway.’ R: ‘I know. You’re right. I’m… There’s no apology that can begin to make up for what I’ve done to you. But for what it’s worth: I am sorry. Truly. Deeply. The thing is, I was terrified. You have to understand that everything I’ve done for the past ten years, has been to avoid exactly this. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I felt my carefully crafted layers of protection fall away all at once and I was afraid. Afraid of how the Syndicate could use this information against me. Of being used as a pawn, or as bait. Afraid to no longer be in control …Afraid of what you’d think of me. And I still am. Look at me. I’m falling apart, and I’m scared of what will remain when it’s all gone.’ 

After some of the air has been cleared and some more drinks have been consumed, it is time to head to the Eastern Gardens. The group keeps an eye out for anything suspicious, not having forgotten their previous ambush quite yet, but everything seems clear. After a quick knock on the door the gnome lets them inside a small storage room at the back of a house. He introduces himself as Marcius, a student of Conjuration at the Academy. He explains that a friend and fellow student, Bree, had asked his help for a history project. They summoned the spirit of a military intendant, the half-orc-half-elf Godobald Brockhouse, who had served during the Unification War  — in order to ask him some questions (Ara has never heard about this major historical event, which is baffling to Raiden). They had triple-checked every glyph and component and were confident the summoning was going to work. Only when the spirit appeared, it rushed forward and appeared to disappear into the body of Bree, who ran off, desperately exclaiming that he needed to see his family in the Sludge. But Bree doesn’t have any family in the Sludge  — he isn’t even from Anamdael. Marcius fears Bree may have been possessed by the spirit and fears he may not be able to find him in time for the gala, where Bree is expected to make an appearance alongside the noble who is sponsoring his attendance at the Academy. The young gnome starts spiraling out of control when he thinks about what might happen when Bree doesn’t show; surely people will realize Marcius had something to do with it, his reputation will be forever stained, and his mother will surely never let him stay in school… Raiden interrupts his anxious tangent and asks him some clarifying questions. Kevin is smart enough to ask about the spirit: perhaps they can find some record of him and figure out where his family used to live. Marcius adds that he wouldn’t expect them to work for free: he’s put aside part of his monthly allowance in order to offer them 1.000GP. Ara tells Marcius to stand a couple feet away and cover his ears so they can huddle and deliberate. They quickly agree that there’s no harm in taking the job; they could use some more money to buy all those cool magic items they ogled earlier, and if they don’t succeed in time they won’t be any worse off than they are now. Plus, Marcius seems truly at the end of his rope, and it’d be nice to actually start living up to their new reputation as ‘disappearance solvers’. They tell Marcius the good news. Ara sees no reason not to start investigating right away, having momentarily forgotten his friends’ need for sleep. So they decide to head back to the Majestic Mare and begin their search for Bree in the morning.

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[84reedsy]

The Mentorship, Part 8

The Mentorship

Characters: Curt Hennig/FemOC , Scott Hall/FemOC

Part 8 of ? (Parts not chapters, parts length varies)

Word Count: 3421

-----Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7----

Warnings/Considerations: Smut, Age Gap, Power Dynamics, Dirty Talk, swearing

_____________________________________

Brinkley enjoyed the promo tours they did around Chicago. She was mostly recognized by association, but she wasn't occasionally mobbed like a few of the others.  She watched them with their fans and they were all so kind and patient. Even Kevin brought out a benevolent side she wasn't sure his cockiness would allow. But then again he was a preening peacock with all the attention, specifically from females.

She noticed Scott and Curt paid a little extra attention to the kids. She found it sweet,  but then wondered if it might have had something to do with missing their own. 

She remembered what Curt was like in his home element and she felt a little bad for the first time. She probably should have felt this much sooner, but just as he'd said, life on the road tended to insulate you from reality.

Any thoughts of guilt were quickly squashed when she pictured Curt's face pressed between her thighs this morning. 

Brinkley was again invited to a party, this being held at Lex's place that he still had in Chicago. His main house was in Atlanta, but when it came to a free place to party, no one was very picky. 

Beer was a lot cheaper when bought in bulk versus a bar. The same went for hard liquor. Brinkley offered to go as a designated driver, the hangover from this morning still fresh in her memory.

She tried to mill around, but stayed near someone that traveled with them at all times. Everyone was feeling very friendly and touchy tonight.  She tried not to make a scene anytime someone got too frisky, but so far someone had stepped in. It didn't take much to redirect them to another party guest that was all too happy to be felt up.

She fared better in the back room off the kitchen where poker was being played in a room full of cigar smoke. She pulled up a chair to watch, Bret letting her look over his shoulder at his cards. 

“What do you think?” He asked, scooting his chair over a bit for her to sit next to him. 

She looked at his two cards and then at the flop cards on the table. He held a Heart flush draw with a King high.

“Wow. How is this even real,” she giggled a little as she whispered to him, “I'd call to see what everyone else does,”

He followed her advice and no one else raised.

The ace of hearts came next,  completing the flush and all but guaranteed Bret's win.

“Limp in,” she mumbled as he leaned back, he placed a small bet and it was immediately raised twice. He raised again and was called when Steve went all in.  

Bret's large chip stack was partially her doing and he slipped her a tip for her help . They tried to convince her to join the game, but she felt restless and walked back to the more rambunctious room. 

Voices rose from the din and clearly they were heated. The herd of people moved in the direction of the fighting. Why the Nasty Boys were here she didn't know,  but they were and they clearly had beef with the Outsiders. She'd heard this story enough to know that relations were tense.

She struggled past everyone. A few were trying to get between them and keep the peace for the sake of the party. It was clear Scott and Kevin had already had plenty to drink. Scott didn't resist getting in their face and pointing, his face scrunched as he laid out his best insults.

She reached for Scott’s balled up fist to try and keep it at bay while Page tried to talk sense to both men. Jerry's arm got in the way and he yanked his arm away from her, barely missing grazing her cheek.

“Get the fuck off of me, BITCH,” he nearly spat in her face. After that moment all hell broke loose. Page pushed her back out of the way as very real punches were being thrown. It shouldn’t have been attractive,  but seeing both Scott and Kevin fighting was very intriguing. 

It was odd to see real fighting after all this time of learning protective show fighting. This felt so raw and primal.

It didn't take long for Lex to show up and enough people to get between the four brawling men to put a stop to it. Both Jerry and Brian were booted from the house.  Kevin and Scott were still obviously energized by the provocation; still flexed and zero'd in. 

Drinks were offered as a distraction. Brinkley noticed a reddening spot on Scott’s cheek and touched his arm to get his attention. He jerked at first, adrenaline still dictating his reactions. Once he saw who it was, he softened a little.

She slipped her other hand around his taut forearm and pulled him gently to follow her

He did after being given a beer that he began drinking swiftly. On the way to the back deck, she grabbed ice and folded it in a towel.

Once alone on the deck, she sat him down in a lounge chair and sat on one of his knees, his legs splayed wide. She held his cheek running her thumb over the slightly bruising and puffed lump. He winced.

“That's what I thought,” she placed the ice pack gently against the welt before pressing down on it.  He hissed at the pressure but did not pull away.

“Not gonna let some prick talk to you like that,” he defended his actions.

“Hey, I'm not saying he didn't deserve what he got. But you don't want to ruin this pretty face, do you?” She could smell a heavy intoxication on him. His lazy gaze corroborated it.

“This ugly mug? Eh,” he took another drink.

“Nah, you're pretty,” she teased, “That's why you're their golden boy.” 

“I am not,” he wasn't too drunk to know he liked this kind of attention from her, “They just love me for my body,”

Brinkley liked him better sober, but there was definitely a playfulness to him at times when he was buzzed. She couldn’t help but giggle at his forced shy tone.

“Well, it's a pretty great body,” She moved the ice a bit to see if the swelling had stopped. It seemed to be helping a little, “Can’t blame them for that,”

“You really think I’m pretty?” His hand moved to her thigh, rubbing it gently. 

“You know I do,” She side eyed him knowingly, pressing the ice back to his cheekbone, “You know I’m wrapped around your little finger,” She narrowed her eyes at him playfully.

“Darlin’, I think you have that backwards,” His hand squeezed lightly, “You could have any guy here. And here you are out here dickin’ around with me,”

“Yeah,” She looked back towards the party, “But you keep things interesting,” She shrugged, “and when you aren’t being a royal dick to me, you’re a pretty good guy,” She tapped the end of his nose with her free hand. He stared up at her, his eyes a little more focused now and she saw there was no question that he wanted to kiss her again. 

“Too bad we’re not back at the hotel,” He murmured, “I still have your room key, you know,” His hand slid further up her thigh.

“That’s right, I guess you do,” She bit her lip as she was transfixed by his stare, “Why would you want to go back to the hotel with this rager of a party going on,” she asked coyly. 

“Because then I’d get to fuck you until you forgot any other man existed but me,” That softly thunderous tone immediately triggered her sexual core. It made her wonder if Lex had any bedrooms open upstairs. 

“Well…I wish we would have stayed there,” She knew she was speaking, but it was nearly out of body as Scott’s words painted sordid pictures in her mind. 

“There he is!” The door to the house opened and a group of large sized men nearly spilled out of it onto the deck, “Man, we thought you went after Saggs,” Kevin had ditched the small glasses and now clutched the neck of a bottle of whiskey in his large fist. 

“What’s going on out here, playing doctor?” Rick was barely coherent, but found his own joke hilarious. 

Brinkley let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes before looking back at Scott. 

“You know, your friends are a buzzkill,” she smiled though, shaking her head, “Hold this on here,” She replaced her hand on the ice pack with his, “Come find me when you’re ready to go,” She was not interested in hearing herself be the butt of about the next 50 sex-laced jokes. Curt leaned in the doorway, still pacing himself with slow drags of beer. 

“Looking pretty cozy out there,” He nudged her as she walked by.

“The guy stood up for me, the least I could do was make sure his face didn’t get all busted up. We do kind of need him tomorrow,” She looked back as more of the party spilled to the outside. 

“What??” Curt snapped his head back to look at her, wondering how she knew about his plan.

“Our match?” She looked at him quizzically, “You know…the one we trained for today?”

“Oh…yeah, the match,” He shook the shocked expression from his face and took another drink.

“Maybe we oughta get back, both of you are acting goofy tonight,” She laid her hand on his shoulder before walking away.

A couple more hours passed and poker was the only thing that kept her boredom at bay. She was more than ready to go when the crowd started clearing out. She found both Curt and Scott on the back deck still, sitting now for the fact that standing was too precarious.

It took an army to load them into the car. Curt sprawled in the backseat, while Scott slouched in the front. She listened to instructions on how to get back to the hotel from someone she hoped was sober enough to know.

As she drove, Scott slumped over more until he lay out across the front bench seat, his head on her leg. 

“You boys, who’s the one babysitting now?” She joked to herself. 

If Kevin was back in the room, he didn’t answer the door. There was no other option but to take Scott back to their room. Curt took off his shoes and shirt, not managing any more before collapsing on the bed. 

“I guess I get to sleep with you tonight, after all,” Scott slurred,”Might take me a minute to get going,”

“Easy tiger,” She slipped his shirt off, more for selfish gratification than anything. She ran her hands along his hairy chest, “I want you at your best. I want everything you’ve got.” She slid her hands back down, one sliding across the front of his jeans. 

“If you’re trying to calm me down, it ain’t working,” He swayed a little now. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” she tried not to laugh at his state and helped him to the same bed Curt was in. He didn’t lay down for a moment before he was out. Chuckling to herself, she went to the other side and rolled Curt over partially, laying his arm over Scott’s chest. It wasn’t the best prank of all time, but she thought it would be funny to see them wake up like this. 

It couldn’t have worked out better. By the morning, they were nearly cuddling. Brinkley wished she had a camera, but the next best thing was to see if anyone else did. She scrambled out in the hallway knocking on doors, explaining why she needed one. Only Paul had one, but everyone wanted to see what it was she felt so compelled to document. 

As Curt and Scott woke up, feeling the effects of a hangover, they realized they were nearly on top of each other. They yanked themselves apart to raucous laughter and clapping. The flash of a polaroid went off and as their eyes adjusted back to normal, they both saw Brinkley standing there fanning the photo to make it develop faster. 

“Well good morning, boys!” She cooed, surrounded by her amused colleagues. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon, you CAN’T still be butthurt about this morning,” Brinkley said as she got the silent treatment in the back of the car, “Curt you once set a dude’s car ON FIRE,” She couldn’t believe he was so sour after a very basic rib.

“Ha, that’s right, I did, didn’t I,” Curt recalled one of his more infamous ribs. 

“Ok, great for him, but what the hell did I do to you,” Scott slung his arm over the seat, slapping her knee. She feigned thinking before responding.

“Well, come to think of it, you haven’t done anything to me…yet,” she flirted back with him.

Curt scrunched his face at the obvious flirting, but did not comment on it. They must’ve been getting close on their own if they were openly bantering like this.

“Don’t count your chickens,” Scott warned playfully, “It’s another 30 minutes to the arena. I’ve crawled back there before to put you in your place,”

She didn’t, in fact, have to worry about him invading her space on the drive as in only 10 minutes they were at the arena. Brinkley was more excited than normal, tagging along with Curt, Scott, and Kevin as they went to discuss match details with the bosses. They had to sell pretty hard, but eventually were given a creative green light. 

There wasn’t much that these three would be told ‘no’ for. 

“I need a new outfit,” She pouted as she pulled out the four pieces she’d be cycling through, “But I don’t know what to order next,”

“Dump Hennig and come hang out with the Outsiders, get you a hot little number to match mine.” Scott teased, walking over to her. He pointed at the zippered top and the long tights, “Those. I like those the best.”

“Not the one from the other night?” She pulled the corset top string.

“Nah, too much work. The zipper is easier,” He mimicked yanking it down.

Curt glanced in their direction as he laced up his boots. He knew that his plan wouldn’t be as mortifying for her now, but he couldn’t complain. If she was more into it and comfortable with Scott, the less inhibitions she may have. He could think of a couple new things one or both of them could show her. 

As they stood in the staging area, Curt had to remind her to calm down and maintain their signature smug looks. He knew she was excited about getting more involved. When no one was looking, he laid a sharp smack on her ass, which got her attention. 

“Ow!” She bit her lip, still smiling, “Ok, ok!” she quit bouncing up and down. 

“That’s Daddy’s good girl” he leaned in to murmur in her ear. He could see her visibly shiver and it did the job, though now she definitely looked at him with fuck me eyes. The crowd would eat it up. Scott definitely would. 

Brinkley focused on the work, scowling at both Scott and Kevin as they made their way down, playing up the crowd. She stood in the ring, hands on her hips slightly behind Curt. Looking at Scott was difficult to do while remaining smug and snarky. His trunks seemed like so much less than usual. 

The match started with a typical lockup into an arm hold. Brinkley paced slowly on her side of the ring, occasionally slapping the apron. Kevin kept pacing a little closer to her, but would back off when she’d catch him. He looked mischievous and she kept her eye on him as much as possible. 

She slipped into the ring when her moment came and she executed a perfect drop toe hold on Scott while the referee was admonishing Kevin for appearing to try to interfere. Curt went over to aide in the argument as Scott stood, staring her down. She tried to slip back out, but he caught her by the ankle as practiced, dragging her around the ring a bit. After placing the kick and trying to scramble out again, he caught her by the wrist and slung her into the ropes. He caught her in the front carry and after playing to the crowd for a moment who booed him, he launched her over his head. 

She sold it well, looking dazed and rolling to her side to ‘recover’. Curt moved back into the match. Just as she was about to finish rolling out, Brinkley was pulled by her ankle away from the ring. She barely landed on her feet just as Kevin’s large frame bared down on her and planted a deep, heavy kiss on her. It was far more real than Page’s’ and much more invasive. He used his strength against her, pinning her to the ring apron. 

She managed to wriggle away laying a very real smack across his face. He looked a little stunned by it, but it did not wipe away his shit-eating grin. She didn’t have to fake the cross expression she shot at him. Curt leaned through the ropes and pointed at Kevin, improvising lines. Scott rolled him up for a two count, but set him up also for a fall away slam and the Outsider’s edge. 

Brinkley was livid as she kneeled next to Curt in the ring, Scott and Kevin celebrating. 

Once in the back, her face did not change. 

“Nice job, rook,” Kevin slapped her shoulder. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” She shot him a look.

“What the fuck is your problem,” He looked amused at her anger, “Gotcha all worked up, did I?”

“We never agreed on that,” She still stared daggers at him,”In fact the whole reason we made up the rest of it was so that wouldn’t happen,”

“Oh calm down,” he brushed her off. It did not , in fact, calm her down.

“Fuck you, you cocky bitch,” She threw a bottle of water at him, hitting his shoulder. 

“Curt, you better get your kid in line,” Kevin said to him, but looked warningly at Brinkley. 

“Brinkley, chill,” Curt said, but turned back to Kevin, “But that was fucked up, Kev, you knew why we went downtown was to make her more legit,” 

Kevin rolled his eyes and waved them off and headed for the showers. 

“Did you know?” She shot at Scott, who looked surprised by it. 

“Me? No, he didn’t say anything to me about it,” He defended, “I just did what I knew we’d talked about,”

“Sure, you two are like this,” She held up her crossed fingers, “I’m so sure you didn’t fucking know,” 

“Why the fuck are you mad at me??” Scott pointed to his chest, bewildered by her attitude.

“You could have warned me!” She snapped at him. Scott and Curt exchanged quick, surprised looks. 

“I didn’t know? You expect me to fucking read his mind?” Scott wished she’d just calm down about it. What Kevin did was shitty, but he’d rather continue their banter from earlier, not gird his loins from a potential attack. 

“Yeah, right,” She zipped her bag shut aggressively, “I’ll be in the car,” She stomped out of the locker room. 

“What the fuck just happened??” Scott said, looking around as if he’d been blindsided. 

“I mean…I understand. She’s trying to be legit. Making every appearance a kissing angle isn’t going to do her any favors.” Curt watched the doorway where she left, “But I didn’t expect her to blow up like that.”

“Shit,” Scott rested his arms on his knees, remembering what was supposed to happen tonight, “Well that just fucks everything right up,”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. She’s got a couple hours to cool off,” Curt tried to smooth it over. 

“She pretty much just tried to bite my nuts off, I don’t think her mouth should be anywhere around this,” He motioned toward his pelvic area. 

“I still need to get her back,” Curt reminded him that this was retaliation, “Plus I have a sneaking suspicion that if you show up, she’ll come around pretty quick.” 

Scott looked toward the door, letting out a sigh as he unlaced his boots, “If you say so, Hennig, if you say so.”

[tarnishedxknight]

Mantis’ mind was already racing, planning to take the man she believed to be Loki disguised as Thor to the Bowie, explain the situation to Drax, return to Knowhere, contact Thor, tell him that his brother was alive - alive! - and ask him to come and pick him up. She had landed on Earth determined to find Kevin Bacon and make Quill happy, but she had been so lucky to find Loki as well. She would make Thor happy too, and everyone was going to feel just fine for the first time in forever. The empath was overjoyed.

Reality hit her like a spaceship taking off. Her antennae became so droopy, the tips almost brushed against her temples. Mantis pressed her lips together, swallowing the questions and protests that wanted to come out. Doing her best to ignore the tears that welled up in her eyes. She tried really hard to hide her disappointment; it wasn’t this man’s fault that she got her hopes up. She couldn’t help but feel a little bit of embarrassment, but mostly she just felt sadness.

“Oh, my apologies.” Her voice came out weaker than intended, and Mantis cleared her throat. “Apologies,” she repeated a little louder. She had mistakenly greeted him as someone else… twice. No matter how much she enjoyed socializing, she was still, deep down, a socially inept being. But could she really be blamed for this misunderstanding? He looked so much like Thor, and it didn’t help that his brother could change appearance. A tiny part of her was still hopeful that this was Loki. Maybe this was some sort of trick. Thor loved his brother, but he mentioned he couldn’t be trusted. Maybe this was the trickster messing with her… “May I see your tongue please?” Mantis asked. “I just need confirmation. Show me your tongue, please.” She then stood on her tiptoes to take a look. According to Thor, Loki had a silver tongue. That should give it away. “Hm… No, you are not the second person I mistook you for. Thank you.” Mantis wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling very hopeless. Loki was dead. She wouldn’t be able to make Thor happy.

“It is nice to meet you anyway,” she added, managing a polite smile. “I am Mantis.” She had already introduced herself, although she thought she was introducing herself to Loki. She felt silly, and had the need to introduce herself properly to Basch. She rubbed her arms, wishing she could just disappear and leave this poor guy alone after approaching him in such an aggressively happy manner. “I thought you were… Uh… I thought… My bad. You happen to look just like someone I know…” Mantis tilted her head to one side, then the other, black eyes watching him carefully. “And specifically, someone whose brother could take the appearance of others, so I thought…” That there would be a happy reunion? She was living in a galaxy that had been ravaged by Thanos. Happy reunions were no longer a thing. Reunions, if they happened, were not happy but awkward and painful. They would reopen old wounds and pour salt. She felt stupid for not remembering that as often as she should. “I’m sorry…”

When Basch asked if she was looking for a particular place, Mantis nodded. “I would like to know where I could find the legendary Kevin Bacon. I want to offer him as a Christmas present to the legendary Star-Lord. I don’t know what Christmas is, but I know I must save it for him… I have to do this, or else Christmas is doomed.” The empath tapped her chin, looking around. Finding him couldn’t be that hard. “If you know where he is, that knowledge would be very much appreciated. If not, it is okay, I can always ask other Terrans!” She had already been disruptive to this man, and she did not want to bother him any longer.

(I agree, it’s sad. She’s so sad post-Thanos she clings to anything she perceives as good news 😞 On a lighter note, it was cool to write her as thinking she found Loki because I ship her with a friend’s Loki and they went through so much I sometimes forget they never canonically met XD They even have a daughter, Spring. Loki thinks Mantis picked the name after the season, especially since I do give her her botanokinesis from the comics, but it actually stands for Springsteen. His mun and I laugh so much behind Loki’s back like can you please look a little further inside your wife’s head and realize your kid’s named after someone who creates that ‘Midgardian noise’ as you call it 😭 Girl has two himbo uncles with Thor and Quill, too.)

__________

{MY HEART! UGH! Poor Mantis... But yeah, I get that. The Blip and all that Thanos nonsense really messed with so many people. Loki’s death was really sad, too, like... I wasn’t overly a fan of his and it bothered me, so I can only imagine if that was your boy and you saw that? Ugh. I don’t envy his fans for that. But omg Mantis naming her daughter after Springsteen. That’s... SUPER adorable. Hmm Mantis x Loki, huh? I feel like that would either be an atrocious mess of a ship or it would work so well it’d be amazing, and it sounds like you got it to be the latter, heh. Also I love when headcanons and AUs in rp become so detailed, natural, and solid that you forget they didn’t actually happen in canon. I’ve been told on occasion that a canon character I write “is canon for me” by people who read my threads and honestly that is the most validating feeling as a writer. When you take a canon character and change it in a way that has some people essentially saying they like your version better, it’s like... woah. But then, haha, it’s disappointing when you do it to yourself because then you watch the movies again and for a moment you’re like YE-! Oh, that’s right, none of that actually happened. *pout* XD}

The way she deflated before him was so heartbreaking that Basch felt physical pain in his chest. Soon that pain was written across his face as he seemed to care so much for her grief and disappointment that he nearly felt them himself. “I am so deeply sorry, dear lady...” Basch said gently. “I know quite well the pain that both grief and hope can bring. I am sorry to have stirred that pain in you. It was never my intention to hurt you.” But he had, and he felt utterly awful for it. “Nay, please, do not apologize. You did not know. It was an honest mistake, especially given that the one you seek has the ability to mimic others. I only wish that... your hope had been better rewarded. I am truly sorry.” 

When she asked to see his tongue, Basch was a bit confused, but he obliged her anyway. He supposed that maybe it was a culture difference at play, or that perhaps she had some sort of truth-telling magic she required line of sight to the tongue to cast. If truth was what she wanted, again, he was happy to oblige. “I am so sorry...” he whispered again as Mantis once again folded in on herself.  He smiled, albeit a bit sadly, when she yet again introduced herself. “It is an honor to meet you, Mantis. Please... if there is anything I can do to-”

But she was already asking him about finding someone called... Kevin Bacon? A man’s name, perhaps? If so, it was one Basch did not know. “Alas, I am not familiar with this individual. Nor do I know what Christmas is. Forgive me, I am not native to this land,” he tried to explain. Or this time period, but that would likely only confuse her further. “Perhaps I could assist you in locating him somehow?” he offered, but then he realized what she’d said. “Legendary... Star Lord?” Why was he legendary? If he was really so legendary, why had Basch never heard of him? “O’er what lands does he govern?” he asked, curious to know more about this supposed lord. He was unaware that men with titles such as “lord” still existed in this time period...

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 22 - Abu Dhabi

😭

Well friends, here we are 🥲

While it has been more enjoyable than I thought watching (almost) the entire season back, it’s also been very emo whenever the TV feed would cut to Seb and realise it was his last race at each circuit.

Obviously, I had to follow AD live in some way so I actually listened to the BBC Sport radio coverage for quali and the race, and then watched C4 highlights so I’ve heard the race in full and seen chunks of it (and I started full on ugly sobbing on the last lap at the time, bc you know, feelings)

Well, let’s whip out the tissues and see Seb’s last ever F1 race (😭😭😭😭😭)

How coherent will this liveblog be? Great question I have no idea

Also worth noting I’m watching the International feed, as I have done with the other 19 races, I’ll likely watch Seb’s onboard cam in my own time and blubber in peace

Also they really had Seb last on the F1 intro I’m not okay 😭

Less starting grid whiplash as I was vaguely aware of the grid order at the time

but SEB TOP 10!!!! 😭

argh, I’m getting emo already and we’re not even at the formation lap.

I genuinely thought I’d be fine watching this back, apparently not.

[Formation Lap]: Virtually everyone starting on the mediums apart from Kevin and Bottas on the hards and Gasly on the softs bc ?????

Also I find it so wild how close the battles for P2 in the drivers and constructors championships were like, especially when you consider how many more races Ferrari won compared to Merc

cut to Norbert and Antti in the AM garage 😭

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis jumping Sainz at the start!! 🥳🥳

And Sainz pushes him off bc 🙃

[Lap 2]: Well that was a surprisingly eventful first lap, by Abu Dhabi standards anyway

I will not be talking about FIA bullshittery bc I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my day after this 🥲

[Lap 3]: Anyway Seb watch: He’s still in P9 💚

[Lap 4]: Bono sounding more done than normal at the FIA nonsense, a mood

[Lap 5]: And Lewis getting P4 back, noice

[Lap 6]: The Red Bulls being 2 and a bit seconds clear of everyone just about sums up 2022

Also like... having the final race of the season at Abu Dhabi is not the brightest idea bc the track is... eh.

I mean is it pretty and looks good on camera? Yes. Does it give us entertaining races? No.

[Lap 7]: Seb closing up to the back of Ocon, go get him!!!

(I am usually a pro-Estie Bestie household, but the needs of the Seb outweigh the needs of the many)

[Lap 8]: Sainz re-passing Lewis, I hate it here

but Seb and Esteban racing for 8th >>>>

midfield spice (beloved)

[Lap 9]: And Russell passes Lewis for 5th, I know Lewis eventually retires with a mechanical issue but I can’t remember what specifically

[Lap 10]: Lewis switching between engine modes and nothing works... pain

Meanwhile Seb is the filling in and Alpine sandwich 

yes I’m very biased, but I will never, ever tire of watching Seb race. It’s very beautiful to watch

And livery watch: Aston Martin under floodlights very very pretty

[Lap 12]: Another cut to ultimate Grid Dad Norbert in the AM Garage, and one of the AM mechanics sporting a very snazzy stache for Movember

god that shot of Seb trying to swoop round the outside of Esteban, fucking gorgeous

I mean he didn’t get the move done, but it was still beautiful 

[Lap 13]: I love how much the TV feed is sticking with the Seb vs Alpine battle, Seb and Fernando always know how to bring the drama no matter the season

and you know... it is by far the most entertaining action on track rn

[Lap 15]: and Esteban pits, mediums for hards

lol at Crofty saying Alpine had to tell Esteban and Fernando to behave themselves for their final race together, 

[Lap 16]: Lewis was on the radio saying his tyres were getting better????

This is the wonky timeline, rip “Bono my tyres are gone” 2014-2022

SEB PASSES PEREZ!!!!!

Oh, that sparks so much joy, Aston Martin 1, RBR 0

[Lap 17]: Meanwhile the rest of the front runners are making their first stops, but Russell had an unsafe release 😬

[Lap 18]: Anyway back to Seb vs Fernando, I genuinely could watch an entire race of them just cashing each other down - the poetic cinema of it all

[Lap 19]: Anyway Lewis thinks he has a broken floor so 🙃🥲

[Lap 20]: “He’s [Seb] entitled to fight Sainz every metre of the way” You’re damn bloody right he is Brundle!!!!

That’s my boooooooy

You keep that Ferrari behind you

nvm Sainz made a DRS pass

It was great fun while it lasted though

[Lap 21]: Seb in 5th, stioll yet to stop, iirc he was kept out for ages and ages bc ????

I love Team Green, I really do, but they are not immune to dumb strategies

also Russell given a 5 sec pen for the unsafe release

[Lap 22]: Charles pits for hards and comes out in 3rd in front of Sainz

Seb. Bottas and Kevin the only drivers left to pit

[Lap 23]: Lewis passes Seb for 6th, one last on track Seb and Lewis interaction 😭

Meanwhile Yuki, Bottas and Fernando are having a little scrap over 11th-13th

[Lap 24]: Fernando in 2010 🤝 Fernando in 2022: stuck behind a slower car at Abu Dhabi

ah, Lando adds himself to the “I passed Seb bc he hasn’t pitted” party

It’s fine it’s just bc they all want to see him and give him a proper send off right... right???

[Lap 25]: Seb having one last whine over team radio, which Chris saying that everyone around them is two-stopping, which means Seb is on the one stop

[Lap 26]: HE PITS!!! 😭

and it was a bit slow 🥲

“Is that Sebastian Vettel’s last ever F1 pit stop” Brundle please SHUT UP

Anyway it’s fine we get a Seb overtaking masterclass of making up 8 places over the second half of the race.

[Lap 27]: “Charles Leclerc catching Sergio Perez” Yes, good, excellent.

[Lap 28]: Aaaaaand Alonso DNF. (Helmet watch: no I am still not over his Seb tribute helmet 😭)

And speaking of, Seb just passed Gasly for 16th, the comeback is on besties!!!

[Lap 29]: Livery watch: you know what... I don’t hate the matte Ferrari under the floodlights actually. I will let it off just this once (though pleeeeeease bring black glossy liveries asap I MISS THEM)

[Lap 30]: Perez asking for Verstappen to speed up so he can gain some distance on Charles... if I speak

Anyway, back to Seb, now in P15 after passing Bottas.

And Gasly passed Bottas as well after Bottas locked up.

the replay of Seb’s mechanics applauding his overtake I’m 😭💚

[Lap 32]: Tag yourself I’m Shaquille O’Neal looking very happy to be seeing some F1 cars go zoom

[Lap 33]: Charles is almost in DRS range of Perez 👀

“Lewis is closing in on Russell is anything” putting that broken floor in it’s place, as he should

[Lap 34]: Ah, Perez pits. inch resting.

Lewis purple sector one, feels good feels organic

also helmet watch: Lando’s ultra-black stripes with the metallic blue is sooooo pretty. I love mixed finishes on helmets. JMD never misses.

[Lap 35]: Seb watch: they didn’t play it, but he’s up to P14!!!

[Lap 36]: “Question can you keep this pace with Plan C?” Xavi I will fight you with my fists

I genuinely have mild trauma now whenever I see the Ferrari team radio graphic come up on screen. The downside of watching the 2022 season across 12 weeks 🙃

[Lap 37]: Seb up to P13 after Albon’s stop.

Also it’s proper night time now. Yas Marina is pretty I will give her that.

[Lap 38]: Oh Lewis has been catching up to Russell! He’s within DRS range

“Let me tell you about Sebastian Vettel” We are Ted and Ted is us 💚

[Lap 39]: Mick and Nicky having a little spin into the barriers 🙃🙃🙃

Yuki pits, Seb up into P12!!

Lewis even closer to George since he’s suddenly somehow a chunk faster

[Lap 40]: ah, Sainz and Russell pits. 

Mick and Nicky now under investigation for their little spin.

Yelling. Sainz and Russell pitting puts Lewis into third. !!!!

I shouldn’t laugh, but the synchronised spin with Mick and Nicky is ever so slightly funny. Very dance of the sugarplum fairies.

[Lap 41]: Lance pits, Seb is into P11!!!!

Ted doing everything he can to manifest Seb points on his last race I cannot 😭

How has Teed been post-Seb retirement? Is he okay? Do we need to book in another Seb nation group cry and invite him along?

anyway, racing

[Lap 43]: Seb half a second behind Zhou!!!

and again he tries round the outside, doesn’t make it stick but it looks beautiful!!

Meanwhile Lance has joined the party after making his second stop.

[Lap 44]: and Seb makes the pass!! HE’S INTO P10!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Lewis P3, Seb P10. We can stop the race now. 

“I forgot which letter of the alphabet we’re trying this afternoon” I feel like it’s a bit of a paddock in-joke about Ferrari and their strategy woes at this rate 

[Lap 45]: Perez passes Lewis but then Lewis re-passes him. That was fun actually.

“Like some sort of sleeping praying mantis” ...okay Crofty. (that was about Lewis btw)

[Lap 46]: Perez passes Lewis and makes it stick this time. 

[Lap 47]: *10 Laps remaining klaxon*

“Just tell Checo to go full send” Maybe I’m biased but if I was his team mate I would not find that helpful in the slightest adfvnifvfdvgh

[Lap 48]: “Sebastian Vettel is gaining a bit on Daniel Ricciardo” oh yeah

[Lap 49]: Finally Crofty is getting on the livery watch bandwagon, F1 cars do look pretty under floodlights

argh Lance passes Seb for P10, but granted he was faster 🥲

and Seb having another little whine, god I miss his sarcy team radios.

[Lap 50]: “Yeah leave me alone please thank you” CHARLES I ADORE YOU

You tell em hun, you tell Ferrari to fuck off, I’m so proud.

[Lap 51]: And Lance passes Dan for P9

[Lap 52]: Seb also catching up to Dan

also I forgot how late on Lewis’ DNF was sheesh

also also he just got a black and white flag for track limits svhaegheuh

[Lap 54]: Mick and Bottas having a very spicy little fight for 16th.

[Lap 55]: Meanwhile Perez is about 4 second behind Charles

ughhhhhhhhh and there’s Lewis hydraulic failure 😭😭😭😭

Pain, so so much pain. But it does put Seb in the points. Lewis we honour your sacrifice. I’ll join you to smash the W13 to pieces very soon.

[Lap 57]: I find it so wild that despite all the W13′s failing, that was it’s first mechanical DNF for the entire season. WILD.

the gap between Charles and Perez down to just under 2 seconds.

[Lap 58]: Final lap. and I’m once again a little bit weepy.

I do not give one shit about Verstappen show me Seb 😭

I’m literally just watching Seb’s name on the leaderboard.

[Finish]: Verstappen wins, no one is surprised. Charles finishes P2 and clinch the runners up spots in the drivers and constructors titles.

ahhhhhh Seb chasing down Dan!!!!

and Seb finishes P10. I am weeping at quarter to 1 on a Wednesday morning 😭

Well the race was very meh. Mild midfield spice with the proper battles for almost all the positions from P2 downwards. And a lot of it was down to strategy as opposed to actual racing. So overall a very average 6 front wings out of 10.

And whew, the 2022 season as a whole. We really thought it was going to be a proper title fight after Australia and then Ferrari happened 🥲.

However, my beloved midfield spice saved the season, with Alpine v McLaren and Aston Martin vs Alfa Romeo especially. Like honestly just ignore the title fight and watch the midfield it’s so much more enjoyable (especially with the way 2023 looks to be going asduhsui).

Anyway, the whole reason why I started this was to watch Seb’s last season and there was some great races, some very not good races, but I will forever be so so proud to call him my favourite driver (yes he’s still my fave after retiring this is my blog I can do what I want).

The 2002 season was certainly something. While the title fight wasn’t as entertaining as it could have been, we still had some decent races (Monaco, Silverstone, Austria and Brazil were my faves). And I think we all have the Dutch and Austrian anthems burned into our memories to come degree 🥲. 

Auf wiedersehen, and danke fur alles Seb 💚

[uatjonc]

Note to Self - v.7SB(?)

I never really liked that movie. No—I think I hate that movie. Because of that scene. Because I know it’s building up to that scene and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Kevin Spacey’s menacingly detached smile as he says “He just told you”… and his blissful resignation as Brad Pitt ends his life. They are an outcome that cannot be avoided. And it animates a vivid portrait of the pure evil one must face if they ever hope to confront a remorseless evil-doer; specifically, one who believes they truly have not done any evil.

That’s not what i want to avoid.

It’s the terror in Brad Pitt’s voice, pleading against all logic as he hopes for a different answer than the one he knows to expect. As long as he is asking, and the box remains closed, there is a chance his wife, his love, his life, his innocence might still be safe.

Schrödinger’s box made flesh, in theatric drama of Biblical proportions. Se7en deadly sins, brought to life by a self proclaimed agent of God so deep in his own delusional bullshit there was never any way to reach or reason with him. Gwyneth Paltrow was dead the moment Brad took the case. He just wouldn’t know until he opened the box.

——

I’ve been saying I want to write my stepfather for at least 5 years. The draft letter is sitting in my notes app. I just added a line at the end telling him I would like to talk to him “about anything he wanted”.

Why do I keep grasping at the validation of the man who destroyed my innocence?

I keep saying that I need to do this to understand him. That it is the necessary exercise of my ideological ethos as a prison abolitionist and humanist. That I don’t expect him to say/do anything that will make me feel better about what happened or how it affected me or who I’ve become since or who I’m trying to be now. That even a silent denial/refusal to engage would be all the answers I really need.

Part of me wonders if I keeping saying these things, they might be true. I certainly believe them when I say them. But the second or two after is when the doubt creeps in.

Aren’t you still just the dorky, frail, weak little bobble-headed nerd who wanted more than anything to have a “real family?”

——

I knew I didn’t have a father… and I knew why. I don’t know when or how I was told but I don’t remember not knowing.

Knowing why made it easy to never feel bad about his absence. And easier still to sedate any itch of curiosity to know who he was. I genuinely didn’t care to know anything about him at all as I grew up. I never wondered what he was doing, if he was still alive, what my life would have looked like if he’d know about me or was in any way a part of my life.

But not wanting HIM as a father didn’t mean I didn’t want a father. In fact, second only to a little brother, a father was all I really wanted. Someone to play the part of protector, teacher, coach, cheerleader. Someone to make sure the monsters never hurt us. Someone who could protect my mother from men like my father.

Instead, we got the same man in different skin. A God-fearing man, so wrapped up in his own self-righteousness that he refuses to see the blood on his hands. Blue-collar, heavy calloused hands from years of street life and hard labor, skin just dark enough to guarantee his narcissism would always have a healthy stream of fresh validation for his victim mentality. But this time, he won’t discriminate by gender nor age when he decides to give himself over to his darkest impulses.

Now, at 33 years old, I find myself fixated on the cruel irony of being a fatherless bastard with TWO evil fathers, one by chance and one by choice. I yearn for the love of a man who, simultaneously, does not exist and is actually two people who have done nothing to deserve me.

——

I can’t tell if I’m delusional; or in denial.

I’m starting to think I haven’t finished or sent this letter because I’ll be unable to pretend I’m not (if I am) after sending it.

The box will be open. The cat will either be dead or alive.

And I’ll have to decide how to move forward.

[dejwrites]

↠ characters: geto suguru, mentioned in story: gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, choso

↠ warning: heavy smut! degradation, overstimulation, daddy kink, etc. excessive swearing, choking kink, praise kink, sex work, cam work

↠ pairings: geto suguru x black!female reader, a hint of toji fushiguro x black!female reader

↠ timeline: cam boy!au, college!au

↠ chapter summary: [y/n] reminiscence the events that happened when she invites geto in her apartment while also realizing something huge that could shift their ongoing friendship. 

↠ a/n: *kevin hart voice* it’s about to go down kinda !! after this chapter it’s about to be so much shit happening !! also in chapter reader is remembering what happened the previous night, which will be in italics. so italics mean flashback !!

check out the character edits for cam competition here.

↠ tags: @cocobutterbaby + @resonancesoul + @luvingmyships + @tojibreedingme + @suhweetdreams s​ + @ah-seya

prev + masterlist + next

YOU HAD UNLOCKED YOUR APARTMENT DOOR; the bag of orange juice and an extra toothbrush were in your hand. As you closed the door back, you slid on your house slippers, being sure not to wake the sleeping man that crashed on your couch as you were walking around your kitchen pulling out ingredients for breakfast, the events that transpired last night running laps in your mind.

The fact that you also finally responded to SUGURUSUGA didn't help your racing mind either. You realize that agreeing to collab with him meant that you had to expose yourself to another man knowing BVBYGRL007's identity. You felt so nervous, but seeing the sleeping giant on your couch calmed you down.

Plus, seeing Jules caused you to be a bit shaken up. You wondered why Geto was with her. Your mind remembering he said it was for a work meeting. You hoped he wasn't signing to work for her. Especially considering that he said he would do cam work, it just didn't sit well in your mind that he knew that woman. You just got bad vibes from that woman in general. You were here for women in the sex work industry, but it just was something about her specifically that rubbed you the wrong way. Hence the fact that you haven't sat down to talk to her since your own contract signing. What was there to talk about that couldn't be talked about over the phone or email?

You let out a sigh, your mind once again thinking about last night.

When you unlocked the door, you let out a sigh of relief. Nothing made you more comfortable than being in the comfort of your own home. "Make yourself at home. The bathroom is right there; my bedroom is that door, and please don't go in that room." You pointed at your streaming room which the door was closed.

"Why? If you mind me asking," Geto said out loud.

Your mind was racing to come up with a lie. "I got the floors shined this morning," you said. Mentally pitching yourself for such a horrible lie that Geto brought.

"Want anything to drink?" You questioned.

"Have anything hard?" Geto questioned. "That could make me forget about that awkward meeting."

Meeting.

CAMPOP workers always had meetings with that Jules.

You would search your cabinets, grabbing the bottle of alcohol you brought two weeks ago. You just haven't had time to drink it yourself. You grabbed two glasses and made your way back into the living room. As Geto took a spot on the couch, you plopped down also, crossing your legs over one another as he opened the bottle. He poured two glasses, sliding one to you, which you picked up with eagerness.

"Why does it look like your apartment is bigger than mine?" Geto questioned as he glanced around the nicely decorated apartment.

"It's the same size. You have two rooms in your place, right?" You had questioned, gaining a nod from him.

"Still seems bigger." he huffed, sipping at the alcohol in his cup.

It was silent. You took notice that you two could sit in silence with each other, and it was fine. You bounced off each other's energy so well that sitting in silence was something you two were comfortable with doing with each other. As you stared at the man in front of you, this time due to the lighting in your well-lit apartment, you were able to take in his appearance. His perfect chiseled jawline, his small-sized gauges in his ears, the way his hair fell in his face, and those tattoos. You just couldn't stop staring at them. It was some tattoos that stood out for you, and those were the ones that decorated his large hands. You've seen them before, but you just couldn't put your mind on where you saw them before.

Brushing that feeling off as you drowned the alcohol in your cup. The burning sensation sliding down your throat as you placed the cup on your table. "Jesus, this shit is strong," you said out loud, shaking your head.

"It's not that strong," Geto says as he was now pouring his second glass.

"That's easy for you to say, Mr. Giant," You joked as you slid your glass over to him for a refill.

He refilled your glass chuckling at your statement. "You just can't handle Japanese alcohol. You'll get used to it," he downed the second glass with a quickness.

You watched as his tongue glides across his lower lip, lapping up the droplets of the alcohol on his lips. He looked so attractive doing that. You held onto your glass, "I told Gojo that you declined his number," he said out loud.

"And how did he react?" You questioned. Your sips of alcohol were slow.

"He was offended but quite impressed that somebody rejected him," Geto remembered. "In my opinion, he doesn't even look like your type like you said. But keep that between you and me."

Your plump lips curled into a smirk, "What's my type then?"

"I don't know, not Gojo." Geto shrugged. He took a huge gulp of the drink in his cup. His eyes now getting droopy, and the alcohol that he consumed was making his brain fuzzy.

You had quickly finished your drink, placing the glass on the table. You could feel the tension in the air, your heart and mind racing to see which one was going to control the words that were going to come out your mouth. If you were completely honest with yourself, you were growing closer to Geto. He was kind. You haven't met a kind man that didn't want sex in return in a while.

"I would say that I'm your type, but that could be the alcohol speaking," Geto answered as he gripped at the pillow that was on your couch.

"'Maybe, but you would never know that," You responded, staring at him.

"Well, when you're ready to admit it, you know where I live." Geto chuckles.

You couldn't help but smile at his comment. Once again, your eyes were staring at him, which he caught you staring at. Your eyes quickly shifted to the painting on the wall. To avoid him pointing out you were staring, you decided to bring up the woman that made you uncomfortable. "That lady, it seems like she likes you."

"Think she likes me a little too much," Geto answered truthfully, his fingertips tracing alongside the rim of his glass. "She gives off if I can't have you, then nobody can vibe, and I don't know why."

Your eyebrows raised at his words. He must have known her very well to say that. Could they have been a past thing? That could explain the awkwardness of the dinner. You expected Jules to have some cam boy as her boy toy, but here she was with Geto.

As the drinking continued, Geto was buzzed out of his mind. It shocked you, considering that you had equal the number of drinks and weren't even that drunk. You chuckle at Geto's horrible drunken joke while standing up, "Think it's time to put this away," you had grabbed hold of the bottle to put it back into the kitchen. You also collected the glasses. "I'm going to help you back to your place." You said out loud.

When you turned around, he was sound asleep hugging your cream-colored decorative pillow. Him falling asleep could have been much better than trying to help him, who's twice your size, travel all the way back down the hall to his place. You put the cups in your sink before walking over to him to place the blanket you kept in your living room on him. You leaned down, untying his shoes and taking them off so he could at least be comfortable.

"Goodnight, Geto." You mumbled before turning off the living room light and going into your room to prepare for bed.

Just as you settled in bed, you unlocked your phone, opening the CAMPOP app. Clicking on the messages that have been collecting dust for days now. She had to see if SUGURUSUGA had more dirt on Jules. She refused to let a close friend of hers be intertwined in Jules's web. Geto didn't deserve that.

BVBYGRL007: i usually don't do collabs, but i would rather do it with you than anyone else BVBYGRL007: let's give our subscribers what they want

As you whisked together the pancake mix, you hummed lyrics to a Megan Thee Stallion song. You began to make the pancakes, pouring the mixture into the sizzling pan. Your back was turned away from a sleeping Geto as you were cooking. Your phone began to ring, causing you to answer it, putting the phone on speaker. You saw it was your best friend, Carson.

"I honestly can't wait until I visit you. My roommate is so annoying. She keeps leaving her wet towels on the bathroom floor," Carson complained.

"I told you. You should have just up and moved when I did," You responded, flipping the pancakes.

"I should have, but anywho. How was the date with Toji?" Carson asked.

"He kept being on his phone, taking calls, leaving the table...then had the audacity to ask can he come up to my apartment," You sneered. You rolled your eyes at the thought.

You placed the pancakes that were done cooking on a plate. You heard Carson chuckle, "And you are sure he's off work on Fridays?" They asked.

"Yes, when we first met, we met on a Friday. He specifically told me he was out drinking because it was the first Friday he had off in a while. He then proceeded to tell me he has Fridays off now," You explained.

When you were done with the pancakes, you had cleaned up your mess and beginning to make the other things for breakfast. You weren't even sure what Geto liked, but you didn't mind cooking any other stuff for the guy. He was attractive, and any person would probably bend over backward for him.

"And the hot neighbor? Have you bumped into him lately?"

"Well...." Your voice trailed off, turning to look at him, still snoozing away on your couch.

"Well, what? Please don't tell me you slept with him? I mean, that wouldn't be a problem since you said he's hot, but damn girl." Carson said.

"I didn't sleep with him. He's sleeping on my couch right now, though," You explained.

"Excuse me? Come again?"

"He's sleeping on my couch right now. I invited him over, and we had a couple of drinks. Alcohol must make him sleepy," You explained.

"Well then, you two seem to be growing close by the looks of it."

"Yeah, I think so too." You said. A smile crawled on your face as you thought about the times you spent with him so far.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you saw Geto slowly starting to wake up. "Uhh, I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Try not to fight your roommate, okay?"

"If she leaves a towel on the floor again, I will. Try not to fuck your floormate who's in your apartment right now!" Carson screamed in the phone, causing you to hang up with a quickness.

When Geto woke up, his instincts caused him to jerk up aggressively as he noticed the unfamiliar surroundings. However, when he saw you in the kitchen, his body relaxed. You smiled at him, "Good Morning. I made breakfast and brought you a spare toothbrush before you depart." She says as she slapped some pancakes and stuff on a plate and place it on the small dining table.

"Time to eat, sleepyhead," You say as you placed another plate down on the table. Going back to grab cups and the bottle of orange juice you brought also.

Geto had rubbed at his eyes, the memories of last night finally coming back to him. He fell asleep here. He remembered Jules's drunken words to him. He remembered the intense stare-down the two women had. He remembers that guy who took the comfort of placing his hands on you. He sat down at the table, the aroma of fresh pancakes and vanilla abstract lingered through his nostrils.

"Thanks." He mumbled, his voice deep as ever as he began to eat.

You sat at the table with a small smile on your face. You wouldn't have minded waking up to him every morning. The two of you ate in silence, a habit that occurs as you two would sit in front of Mr. Hukaki's store eating cheap ramen and snacks.

"Did you know the lady I was with?" Geto questioned, his eyes looking up from his plate of food.

Shit. Of course, you knew her. She was the heir of CAMPOP. You've been avoiding meeting her due to her extreme passive-aggressive attitude towards you. During the contract signing, Jules rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was the way she treated people around her or the way her words came out harsher than ever. You weren't even sure. But the woman seemed off.

"No. Not that I know of," You lied. Your eyes traveling down to the syrup-absorbed pancakes in front of you. "Why?" You questioned.

"She just said you looked like someone she knows," Geto said. He shrugged his shoulders, letting the feeling roll out his mind. "But after all, she was drunk." He leaned forward to pour you two some orange juice in the cups you placed on the table.

You swallowed your food as your fork pushed around the pancakes. Of course, she would say that you were BVBYGRL007. You would listen to Geto change the subject, rambling about university work and such.

"Shit, I should really get going. Have a ton of work to do." He said out loud as he dropped his fork on his plate.

You were sipping at your orange juice. "Same, if you want to study and do university work together, just hit me up. You have my number," you said out loud. "Really be needing the company when I'm in the library."

"Well, how about this upcoming Monday?" Geto questioned. He stood up to go put his shoes on.

"Fine with me." You said, "What time?"

"How about at 3?"

"Cool."

You walked Geto to the door, leaning against the frame as he would step into the hallway. "Thanks for breakfast." He says.

"It's no problem. It's nice having someone to talk to in this place anyway." You gave him a smile which he returned.

"Well, I know where to come when I'm hungry and too lazy to cook." He jokes, causing you to giggle.

Opening your mouth to clap back at his joke, you felt his massive muscular arms tug you into a comforting hug. His arms snaking around you; it felt so relaxing. Taking in the manly scent of him. Despite wearing the clothes he wore last night, you still could get a whiff of his expensive cologne.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" He says. You could feel his chest vibrate as his words escaped his mouth.

"Okay." You responded as he pulled away from the hug.

Your cheeks growing hot as you watched him travel down the hall to his apartment. You would walk into your apartment and begin to clean up the mess you made while making breakfast for you and Geto. Your phone started ringing. You prayed that wasn't Carson calling back, saying they murdered their roommate. You didn't know that number that popped up on the screen, but you still answered.

"Hello?" You said into the phone.

Hearing the female tone on the other end caused your stomach to form a knot. You swallowed harshly as you held the phone to your ear. Jules.

"Hello, BVBYGRL007."

"What do you want?" You questioned, annoyance bubbling in your stomach as you leaned against your kitchen counter.

"It shocked me seeing you last night. I haven't seen you since our contract signing. I thought must have scared you off. But your rankings on CAMPOP says otherwise," Jules bluntly admitted.

"That's what you called me for, to taunt me. Jules, please stop playing on my phone." You said

"You know, it's so crazy how well sex workers hide their identities. I wish more sex workers were like Gojo, step into the sex industry themselves. Not with some shitty cat mask like you." Jules sneered.

Your first clutched tightly hearing that. Kissing your teeth before speaking, "As a woman who is about to own one of the world's popular cam websites, you should know the dangers of women displaying who they really are when it comes to the sex work industry. Or did your education that daddy paid for didn't teach you that?" You questioned. You knew on the other end of the phone she was annoyed.

"You know, you want to ask that question. How exactly do I know Geto?"

You were curious. That questioned lingered in your mind ever since you saw them at the table together.

"We're closer than you think. Actually, you two are closer than you think," Jules says. "You know between us girls. I want Geto. I usually can get any cam boy that works under this company to kneel in front of me. But Geto's different. He's a challenge, and I like challenges. And I know some challenges, have obstacles."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? You would listen to Jules speak some more, concluding that she loved hearing herself talk. Your eyes were rolling so much listening to her speech.

"[Y/N], you're an obstacle in my challenge," Jules said.

You didn't understand why you would be an obstacle. If she wanted Geto, she was sure she could get him. From your knowledge, you two were just friends. You may have grown kin to the man, but with Jules pestering into your life now, you didn't have time to drag him further into it.

"If you want Geto, you can have him." You said. "Considering how kind he is, he must don't want you back. I'm sorry to hear that, Jules."

You loved agitating her. It was a long pause on the other end. She probably was thinking of a comeback to snap at you.

"I'm having a masquerade ball for CAMPOP next Friday. I expect you to find Geto in the crowd before the clock strikes midnight, or I'll tell him myself who you really are, BVBYGRL007."

Your lips parted to argue, but the dial tone on the other end of the phone stopped you. You let out a scream of annoyance. You couldn't believe what was happening. She had the audacity to put you in this position. She purposely was inviting Geto to the ball to spite you. Little did he know he would be around sex workers who, when the clock strikes midnight, perform sexual acts on each other in the mini rooms of whatever venue it was hosted. It was some odd tradition that Jules had since her father got sick. You weren't planning on participating because orgies weren't your thing.

As you sat wondering, why would she invite Geto to an event knowing what happened after midnight. Especially giving if she took an interest in him. You would pace back and forth in your living room, trying to think. A light bulb went off in your head as you plopped down in the same spot you once sat when Geto was in your apartment.

"No. That can't be." You said out loud.

What if Geto was already working with CAMPOP. What if he was a cam worker just like you? That would explain him saying maybe to your question. Him having dinner with Jules. You let out a sigh trying to push that delusion out of your head.

"You're overthinking it [Y/N]. He's not a cam worker," You said to yourself.

Just when you needed him the most at the moment, for some reason seeing notifications from the guy caused you to be at ease. SUGURUSUGA had requested a video call on CAMPOP. You only did video calls to discuss your future collaborations and get to know each other more on Fridays before his stream, so this sudden call was odd. Both of you were wearing your mask to hide your identities since you could tell you weren't comfortable exposing yourself just yet. You would rush to your streaming room, logging into your account and plopping down on your gaming chair. You grabbed your cat mask, tugging it on your face, and when you joined the video call, the man in front of you was patiently waiting. He was drawing in a book of his. As you watched him, you glanced at his hands, and your eyes instantly grew big. Those large tattooed hands looked familiar to you last night for a reason.

You remembered vividly watching those large tattooed hands rub up and down his hardened dick for the camera. You remembered watching the sticky white substance of his cum drip on his hands when he would masturbate for his audience.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Geto was SUGURUSUGA.

[juhaksworld]

The Boyz reactions to dating someone outgoing/talkative

disclaimer lol: i’m really introverted so writing a character who is outgoing was a new experience haha. i hope this makes sense though <3

requested by: @jonghos-left-airpod <3

Sangyeon:

would be so invested in everything you said and did. like you’d be at a party and you’d be very emphatically talking with your friends, being the life of the party, and he’d just watch from a distance: in loveeee. you look so happy and everyone listening to you talking were smiling and happy because of you. you have a very kind and welcoming personality which just draws people towards you. sangyeon be standing beside you like “mhm, yup, this is my baby.” he would just love it when he overheard people talking about how fun you were.  occasionally some stuck up spoiled person who felt intimidated by you would start talking bad about you and sangyeon would just be like “????? excuse me??? what???? have you actually ever spent time with her??? she’s literally the kindest person there is!!!!”

Jacob:

opposites attract right?? well you and jacob certainly did! you met at a party and you noticed he was pretty quiet. you felt instantly attracted to him bc he was so sweet and cute! you really wanted to get to know him but you were afraid of intimidating him. but like girllllll he was so smitten with you!!!! you just filled the room with a pleasant and sweet aura like,, everyone was attracted to you bc you’re so talkative and nice! after you started dating he just like: heart eyes everytime you were with people, bc being with people brought out the best in you. he preferred staying home with just you, but he knew you like spending time with lots of people, so he respected that, and often tagged along with you bc, goodness when you were with people you were just so happy and cute and fun!!! 

Younghoon:

he would be like “what to do with this girl??” he sometimes feels a little jealous of all the attention you get. you never try to get a lot of attention on purpose, it just comes naturally bc you’re so outgoing and fun to be around. sometimes he’ll be watching from afar and then he’ll see some guy eyeing you up and so hoonie rushes over and puts his arm around your shoulder. he really tries not to be too overprotective, but gosh you’re so cute when you’re talking excitedly-- he can’t help but be a little afraid someone’s gonna try and steal you away ;-; sometimes when you’re talking with ppl, specifically his mother you’ll tease him a little bit and he’ll get all shy and blush and be like “stopppp” but he secretly loves it when you talk about him to others. he loves it even more when you’re like in a group of friends and they’re like “ come spend time with us more!! you’re always the life of the party!” and you’re just like “nope! I gotta bf who needs me more than y’all” and hoonie just gets super embarrassed but super pleased that you chose him over others.

Hyunjae:

oh lordy. the craziness. the fun y’all would have. when you guys show up to a party, or literally anywhere at all, everyone KNOWS you’re gonna make it a good time. you’re both super friendly and funny and….loud hahaha. sometimes when you’re in public you’ll both be so friendly to everyone that ppl will be like “ are they dating or are they siblings cuz it looks like they’re flirting with everyone???” but you aren’t haha and you both know that so you never have misunderstandings and stuff (you do flirt with each other all the time though ;-; )  sometimes your personalities will clash and you’ll get in a heated argument, but it doesn’t last long. you’ll both sulk for a little while and then be like “ hey,, wanna go get some ice cream “ and ofc you will and then you’ll quietly hold hands and eat your ice cream and feel better and apologize and everything and then go back to being super talkative with each other <3

Juyeon:

is. in. awe. of you. not bc he doesn’t know what it’s like to have lots of ppl like you, or bc he’s shy, but bc he just loooooves your vibes so much. like--- you’ll be talking and he’ll walk up and you’ll just throw him into the convo and make it seem like he was part of the conversation from the beginning and he loves that. you’re so outgoing and welcoming to ppl around you, he never feels left out. and he loves seeing you reach out to other ppl too. he’ll lowkey see some person like all alone and by themselves and he’ll be like “ heyyy! I wanna introduce you to someone really awesome!” and then he’ll walk up to you and like give you this look and you’ll be like “oh my goodness!!!! heyyyyy!!! hru?????” and the person will instantly feel special and juyeon will just stand back and be like “ wow. I have an awesome gf!” and then he’ll just listen while you talk and get the new person involved. juyeon’s pretty quiet, so he likes to stand around you when you’re at parties bc he can rely on you to talk with everyone haha 

Kevin:

the first time kev met you he’d be like “I love this person, they make me feel so comfortable talking with them!!!” and you’d be like “ I love this guy, he’s so interesting to talk to!!” and you’d start dating right away. kev is pretty talkative once he’s comfortable. y’all would have the best conversations. at parties or whenever you’re with large crowds of people he’ll stand beside you the ENTIRE time. not bc he feels he needs to claim you and keep other guys away, and not bc he’s scared to talk with people himself, but simply bc he loves listening to you talk. like you can turn the most boringgggg conversation into something interesting just bc you have so much experience with people and you love talking. one thing he absolutely loves about you so much is that even though he sometimes has a hard time staying involved in a conversation with strangers for very long, you don’t, and like--- you never let him feel left out when talking with ppl. you always remember who you love spending time with most and keep him involved.

Chanhee:

he would lowkey be like “ what is wrong with her” the first time he met you hahahaha but then he’d grow used to your personality and be totally charmed by you. like i can totally imagine chanhee being with you one day and watch as you have the most random conversation with some stranger you just met and then he’ll be like “ shoot-- i have a crush on this girl” after you start dating he’d just be like “ i’m literally dating the coolest person, like she can talk with anyone and make them feel so special” and all of his friends are like “ yeah you tell us that everyday” and he’d love taking you everywhere with him bc you just make him feel so much more at ease wherever you go. when he’s having a bad day he looooves spending time with you the most bc he knows you’ll 100% make him feel better with your bright personality! and you guys are like so cute together bc he’s pretty tall so whenever he’s feeling pretty shy or whatever you like stand on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear that he looks so pretty that day and make him smile and feel a little more confident and then you’d like hold onto his arm the whole time you were talking to other ppl bc you didn’t want him to feel like you forgot about him at all.

Changmin:

he’d be like “ ok, this is her personality, cool” like he’d love that you were outgoing but it wouldn’t surprise him at all or anything. he knows you love being with ppl so he always takes you with him whenever he goes to parties or gatherings of any sort and then just smiles as you immediately blend in with everyone and make friends. some dude would come up to changmin who’s standing near you watching you with heart eyes and listening to you talk and the guy’d be like “ who’s that?? she’s cute!” and changmin would be like “ she’s my baby...I..I...meant gf. she’s my gf. “ and the guy’d be like “ok simp” and changmin would be like “me??? a simp???” and then he’d realize he was a simp for you, bc like, even though he’s outgoing too, no one does it like you and he’s just obsessed with the way you brighten any day and any place with your sunshiny personality and smile! and he’d be like “ gosh she really won me over” and then he’d go stand beside you and hold your waist and join in the conversation if he could and just be so happy to be spending time with you while you’re having so much fun!

Haknyeon:

this baby. he’d get pouty when he saw you spending more time with others than with him so he’d like some up to you and tug on your arm and be like “ hey remember me” and you’d be like “no??? who are you again? “ to tease him and then he’d laugh bc he knew ofc you remembered him,,, you just thought he’d be perfectly alright without you bc he likes being with people too! but then you kinda felt bad for leaving him alone so long so you’d stop conversing with everyone and turn your full attention on him--- which is just what he wanted haha. he loves knowing he gets all your attention to himself. you’d tease him a lot though-- like someone would ask you if they could ask you a question rq and you’d be like “ oh im sorry,, i gotta ask my bf if he can spare me for a moment” and hak would be like “ stopppppp” and you’d both laugh. he’s outgoing too, but not as talkative as you are, so he’d just bask in your bright aura constantly surrounding you and whenever you said something funny he’d laugh his iconic laugh and that’d make you laugh and then you’d both forget about everyone else and just laugh together. when you guys were together talking with ppl you were like the power couple. you’re funny and smart and super friendly so everyone just gravitates towards y’all

Sunwoo:

this boy would be SO whipped for you,, like he would just stand beside you and smile down on you the whole time you were talking with others. he just loves seeing you enjoy yourself so much! lowkey jealous anytime you start talking to some guy for too long tho, like you’ll will be walking hand in hand home from somewhere and you’ll see a guy walking his puppy and you’ll be like “ahhhhhhhhhhhhh oh my goodness so cute!!!!” and you’ll start talking to the guy about what breed, and how old, and where he adopted the puppy, and the guy will tell you several cute stories about the puppy and you will become like best friends (obv the guy isn’t hitting on you tho cuz sunwoo be standing there behind you like -_- ) but you get along so well with everyone and sometimes you just get so caught up in the conversation you’re having with whoever it happens to be and sunwoo never wants to just push his way into things, so he just stands there like “ what do I do?” and then as soon as you turn back to him with your eyes sparkling bc you love talking with ppl so much he’s like “ oh shoot, i love her.” and so he doesn’t mind so much anymore.

Eric:

you guys would be sooooooo cute!!!! you would talk over each other sometimes when y’all were really excited, but you would somehow understand each other anyways hahaha. ppl sometimes joke about how talkative you both are and say things like “how are y’all even dating???” which you hate bc you love eric more than anything and eric feels the same way so y’all are just like “tsk,, you’re just jealous that i’m dating someone so awesome” and walk away. but seriously, somehow your relationship just works out! like when eric’s super excited about something but you’re already talking about something, he holds back until you’re done with your story and vice versa. when you guys are out in public together you just laugh and talk like normal bc you know others love hearing ppl be happy together and sometimes it leads to meeting new people and making new friends! like one time-- you and eric were on a picnic and were just laughing and laughing about something and a little old lady was just absolutely in love with you both and so you invited her to join you and she did and she told you stories about back when she was young and you all three just had the sweetest time together. things like that always happen for you and eric bc you have such friendly personalities ppl love being with you.

[whump-town]

Was Hotch Abused?

I offer you my 2,300+ worded thoughts on the matter with episodes included. There's going to be lots and lots of talk about abuse so you're going to want to steer clear of that if that's something you're not cool with but for those of you interested... I give you all the proof I could think of:

Natural Born Killer.

In the eighth episode of the first season, “Natural Born Killer”, we meet Vincent Perrotta. His father was abusive but from the outside looking in, no one knew a thing. Perrotta started drinking at fourteen and committed petty crimes, as well as assault, for pleasure. Going as far as to kill his own father not too long after. But Perrotta is a monster and a psychopath so it’s clear we’re not supposed to sympathize which makes his interaction with Hotch so peculiar.

Hotch is our “Captain America”. A true neutral with an infinity for doing what’s right so it’s inconceivable to compare him to Perrotta and yet Hotch gives us some rather conflicting lines to dissect.

Before Gideon hands the interview over to Hotch, he spends a moment talking with the others out in the bullpen. The whole time he’s leaned back and he’s watching Morgan and Hotch. Now, at this point, we don’t know about the sexual abuse Derek Morgan faced at the hands of Carl Buford but there’s something about the way that Gideon spends the entirety of the conversation only looking at the two of them. Waiting for them to put together what he clearly already has and when Hotch does…

Hotch jumps straight into Perrotta’s profile, asking: “You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn’t you Vincent?”, “But your father beat you every chance he got”

Perrotta excuses it with a shrug, “he smacked me around some, didn’t everybody’s old man?”

Abuse is a complicated thing and, often, abused children just don’t know what their parents are doing to them is abuse. It can be a subtle and outright thing but there’s an element of normalcy to it. The parent’s abuse is as habitual, as minimal as biting your nails to the child. Adults often can’t identify their parent’s past abuse.

With Hotch you learn that his lack of expression is often as telling as his expressions and as Hotch looks back at Perrotta, there’s something so sad about his eyes. His voice goes from loud, assertive to his whispered answer to Perrotta’s question. “No.” As if, well, maybe that’s a question he’d raised once too.

Perrotta doesn’t care about that though and he taunts “well, maybe if yours had you would have learned to fight”. But is it not more telling that Hotch didn’t make a sound? Perrotta got in several hits and the only sound Hotch made was when the wind was literally punched out of him. Not even when Gideon called to him and at that point, Perrotta did not the garrote around Hotch’s throat. That’s another thing mentioned before in the profile and something Hotch mentions to Perrotta directly. You learn to take the beatings, smile even. So, it’s just a little odd how little Hotch responded…

But that’s all nothing, you can take that how you want

Which leads us to the fateful, not everyone comment.

"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers"

That can’t mean NOTHING, there’s so much there but there’s something about Hotch’s subtle wording. The way he’s unconsciously slipped himself in there (a very real thing that people do) and he hasn’t even realized it. Doesn’t even know he’s done it until Perrotta pushes and he pauses, asks what Perrotta means. And the subtly of it, the way he doesn’t even mean to that says more than anything else.

“And some people grow up to catch them.”

It’s a super-specific comment to make. He can’t possibly be talking about Derek because he doesn’t even know about Carl Buford yet not to mention saying that about him would be incredibly rude if he were talking about Reid (and again, he doesn’t know about Reid’s childhood yet). So… that really only leaves him because JJ, Garcia, and Elle were not abused.

“P911”

In season two, episode two “P911” the team is hunting down a man trying to sell a young boy, Peter, on the black market. Kevin Rose is an underage boy “selling” himself on the internet while his abusive father has been in prison. I’ll let you just guess who it is that leads the team on finding out more about Kevin.

Your guess is more than likely right-- Morgan and Hotch. Now, we know about Morgan but come on. Nothing to say about it being Hotch who makes the emotional appeal?

The camera even follows his gaze, he’s crouched down (to appear non-threatening because he’s so close) and we watch his eyes take in the scars on Kevin’s chest. You can also note that while Gideon remarks that Kevin’s father was “always drunk, you never knew why he was hurting you, why he was so angry” both Kevin and Hotch look away from him.

AND FUCKING TRY AND TELL ME THE “some grow up to catch them” LINE WAS NOTHING TRY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT GIDEON SAYS? NO, NO GUESS--

Gideon: “At night you’d cry yourself to sleep hoping someone would come and save you”

And it’s HOTCH, HOTCH IS THE ONE TO SAY: “You have the chance to be the one who saves someone, Kevin. You can be the one who answers him, the one who stops his pain.”

PARALLELS PEOPLE THE PARALLELS

“Profiler, Profiled”

I bet you weren’t expecting this one, huh? But there’s something about people who faced trauma that makes it so perceptible to other traumatized people-- they sniff it out like coke to a drug hound. And, just guess, who it is that spends the majority of his time fighting with Morgan? Who knows (like I said about the bloodhound) immediately there is something Morgan’s hiding.

Hotch is angry, he’s upset that Morgan would hide anything. Mumbling about there being “larger implications” and how the team can’t have secrets. With the knowledge of exactly what that secret is it makes Gideon’s eye roll a little telling. Because it’s like they both know but neither will say. Driven home by Gideon turning the attention to Hotch, asking “would you want us profiling you?”

And again Hotch is the one to leap onto the abuse. The one to put the pieces together. Hotch’s anger makes no sense. He says he’s angry that Derek’s keeping a secret but the team has many, way too many. Over the years the team unwraps all kinds of secrets, he’s never angry then. So, it’s not about the implication of a secret at all. It’s what the secret is, like misplaced anger. Anger with himself may be leftover from his own abuse. But still…

Hotch lets Morgan escape. Knows exactly who and what Carl Buford is but all he tells the team is that “he won’t even speak about him”. He always knows how to find the abuse… like I said, a bloodhound.

George Foyet

I know you’re going to find this so fucking surprising but guess who also was abused? George Foyet was beaten by his biological father and his mother didn’t save him so he hates women (bleh, men are disgusting what’s knew).

Now, blah, blah, blah Hannah, I know you’re not about to say Foyet and Hotch are a lot alike-- no of course not. Don’t be silly. What I’m going to say is that they’re foil characters? They accent one another in an opposites sort of way. Foyet is a manipulative narcissist who doesn’t work well with others. Hotch is a guilt-ridden team leader who can’t let The Reaper’s case go. There are meant to be comparisons drawn between them. A good villain does that. George Foyet shows us that Hotch is not at all this removed, cool guy that we’ve previously assumed him to be. He cries in an alley because he blames himself when The Reaper kills a busload of people.

We see he has a rather compulsive nature. He never let The Reaper case go and has very personal ties in this case. Not even after Foyet attacks him, if anything it’s worse. He brings the case file home.

But it’s certainly interesting to see yet another “villain” with that same tragic abusive father and submissive mother come into play with Hotch. We’re nearing a point where it’s getting hard to call it coincidence (and according to David Rossi, there simply is not such thing).

Haunted.

In the second episode of the fifth season, “Haunted”, Hotch voice’s over a Dickinson quote: “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing. Material place.” These quotes are often cheesy, if not a little cliché, but given the premise of this episode is in exploring the ways in which a man’s traumatic childhood has left him now grappling for a truth he can not define… well, maybe we can say the writers were onto something here.

Darrin Call, debatably the Unsub of “Haunted”, was abused by an alcoholic father. We see several signs of it throughout the episode-- Darrin’s delayed speech & severe neglect that leaves Darrin in dirty, hole-riddled clothing. If what we see is not enough, the reports that the team is given on Darrin explicitly state that he was extremely physically abused. It is this abuse that leads to the PTSD that he’s diagnosed with.

As sad and disheartening as Darrin Call’s life is, overall it’s the sort of episode that is forgotten over time. When it’s placed right after the episode that viewers have to watch Hotch say goodbye to Haley and Jack then, who is Darrin Call when compared to the agony of watching Hotch show genuine weakness? After watching Hotch lay in a hospital bed, tears in his eyes wondering if his son will remember him? His fears become our own and after watching George Foyet disarm and mutilate the one guy we’ve been led to believe for five seasons is infallibly, unflinchingly never going to break… well, Darrin Call has it bad but our focus is elsewhere.

It’s on Hotch, right?

The guy who is coming back to the job after only a month (and a day) off to recover. Who Morgan worries might have PTSD but he knows they can’t easily measure because Hotch wrote the questionnaire, he knows all the right answers. Who we see has had new locks installed since the attack and has Foyet’s file sitting open on a table for easy access. Who hears Darrin Call’s life (worked the same job without promotion for years before getting fired, no wife, no kids, a hermit) and bluntly asks why Darrin hasn’t just killed himself.

And let’s just take a moment to break down that comment. Hotch, who in the episode previously lost his wife and child, wants to know why a man who is steadily starting to sound a lot like him hasn’t just killed himself.

And I don’t say “sounds a lot like him” lightly.

Darrin Call has PTSD. Hotch, more than likely, has PTSD

Here are some signs just from that episode: hostility (he yelled at Garcia over something very small), self-destructive behavior (he ran into Darrin Call’s father’s house without a vest, back-up, or telling the other’s what he was doing), and guilt (blamed himself for missing the eye twitching Darrin exhibited because of his years of antipsychotic use)

Darrin Call was abused… this marks the second HEAVILY implied time that Hotch has been compared to another man abused by his father

Vincent Perrotta was the first with that hard to forget the exchange

George Foyet and his notably exactly the same past as Perrotta

“Haunted” feels like it’s supposed to prove to the audience that Hotch is losing it. He distances himself from Morgan, leaving every room that Morgan is in. He doesn’t pick up Garcia’s calls after Darrin Call attacks his therapist. The only glimpse we see of the old Hotch is with Emily, pulled to the side, but his guilt burns and he even brushes her off. Shaking his head and turning his back to her because somehow he should have seen something no one else did.

Throw in Reid’s comment about Call “victims are often drawn to the scene of their first trauma” and we’re painfully reminded of Hotch’s apartment. A place you’d think he’d want to escape but didn’t. The man was stabbed nine times in his own apartment and stayed in that same place. Almost sounds like that statement could be applied to Hotch too.

A dash of Hotch’s own comment about where Call would go to in his confusion and he says “to what he knows”, even the importance of how that orphanage is “where he became Darrin Call”. Where does Hotch go? What does Hotch know? The job.

So… we tally now three total Unsubs that Hotch has this direct relationship with. Three Unsubs with abusive fathers and mothers who couldn’t protect them. Hmm… coincidence?

Brothers Hotchner

Supervisor Special Agent Hotchner is a master of hiding, that is undeniable. It’s hard to see anything behind those furrowed brows and impersonal suits and that’s likely for a reason. However, anyone with a little sibling can tell you that no one on this Earth can and will annoy the ever-loving shit out of you like a sibling.

But that’s not really important. Sean and Hotch don’t talk about their parents. At all. Ever.

Hotch says that when Sean was in the first grade he got sent off to boarding school. “I was the screw-up making bad choices”. Interesting enough of a statement to make but you throw in the rough ages of Sean and Hotch at that time and it’s a little more than just “interesting”. You have Hotch at roughly 14-15 getting into trouble just like Morgan did at that same age (coincidence???).

(now you can certainly look at Hotch’s parentification vs. Sean’s immaturity doubled with substance abuse problems but we’d be stretching. “The Tribe” touches on the parentification but Sean just calls it “the big brother” thing and tells Hotch that he’s not Sean’s father and it’s fine it’s whatever. Hotch is a bit pushy. That’s not new. Substance abuse can just be a problem, it doesn’t have to be bc they were abused but again… a little coincidental)

So... was Aaron Hotchner abused as a child? I certainly think so

[study-coffee-chicago]

Stupid Game (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister imagine)

If you've read Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount, you'll understand where I drew the inspiration from. Warning: includes sexual harassment and threats of sexual assault.

Fifteen days. Fifteen days left of this stupid and terrifying game. You could get through fifteen more days of their stupid game, after all, you were already halfway through. But, seeing as it was halfway done, they'd start to get more desperate. You needed something on you, anything. Pepperspray, mace, a knife, a razor blade--

"Y/N," you were snapped out of your thoughts by your brother, Jay, saying your name. "What are you doing up? I thought you had online first block today?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard.

"I do," you answered, stirring the peanut butter into your oatmeal once more. "Just wanted to get up and get some math homework done," you lied.

"You didn't do it last night?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow at you as he sat down across from you.

"I know, I should've done it. But I was frustrated that I couldn't figure it out and figured maybe looking at it in the morning with fresh eyes would help."

"Fair enough."

"You're not mad I procrastinated?" That was one thing both he and Will agreed on when it came to you and school: procrastinating and not getting your assignments done was unacceptable. They said they didn't care about grades as long as you didn't fail-- and you weren't, you were getting all A's and B's-- but they did care about you trying your absolute best.

Jay shook his head. "No, sounds like you got it all figured out." He looked at his watch. "I gotta go. I'm gonna be late. See you when I get home."

Jay stood up and put his bowl and mug into the dishwasher. "Will you be home for dinner?" you asked...which was really code for if he was going to cook or if you were fending for yourself.

"I don't know. We don't have an ongoing case, so depends on today's case." You opened your mouth to ask if you could order takeout when he stopped you. "And, yes, you can get takeout. I just expect the receipt and change."

"I know, I know. Now, go save Chicago," you said, shooing him out the door.

"It's a team effort," he replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Say hi to Hailey for me."

"Will do!" he yelled to you over his shoulder.

You waited another five minutes until you knew that Jay wasn't coming back before starting your mission. You went into Jay's room and opened his closet. After peering at all the shelves, you had almost given up, when a piece of cardboard on the top shelf caught your eye.

"Gonna need a chair for this," you mumbled and then made your way back into the kitchen and dragged a chair into Jay's room.

After moving a few things, you pulled the box down and set it on the floor. "What are you hiding in here, Jay?" you asked yourself, having never seen this box. You knew it was Jay's though because J. Halstead was written on the side in black permanent marker.

Slowly, you opened the box, as if scared something was going to jump out at you or Jay was miraculously going to appear and tell you not to open it. But, neither of those two things happened.

"Holy shit," you muttered as you opened the box. You thought this stuff was stored away in a storage locker, but it was here all along.

Inside the box was Jay's military uniform, all folded up, along with his dog tags and a few pictures from his time overseas. You felt like you were looking at one of Jay's most intimate secrets, just by looking at this stuff. You wondered who in those pictures came home and who didn't. There was also a small leather journal, and tied to the side of it was a knife.

You picked up the journal and untied the knife from it. You'd be lying if you said that opening the journal and reading it hadn't crossed your mind. But, you viewed your brother as a war hero, and if there was anything in there that would change that view, you didn't want to know. You also knew he had seen some horrific things over there, not that he had ever given you any specific details on the missions, you just knew because of how hard some cases hit him, especially kid cases.

So, you placed everything back into the box just like you found it and put it back on the shelf. Except for the knife, that you kept.

It felt heavy in your hands. The red handle was faded, probably from all the sand that had rubbed against it overseas. You ran a finger over the blade, a little dull from not being sharpened in all these years.

You jumped as your phone alarm went off, alerting you that you had half an hour before you had to leave. You turned it off and placed the knife in your pocket. Then, you dragged the chair back to the kitchen and continued to get ready for school, the extra protection you now had would make you feel more protected for these next fifteen days, that you were sure of.

With the knife safely placed in your backpack half an hour later, you headed off to school.

***

Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his phone. Your school was calling him, which was odd. The only reason he thought that they'd be calling was that you didn't show up, you weren't a troublemaker like he was when he was in high school. The stakes were higher now, so you couldn't afford to mess up.

"Sarge, I gotta take this. It's Y/N's school," he said and then proceeded to walk to an interrogation room for some privacy in case the call was serious.

"Jay Halstead," Jay said as he answered.

"Mr. Halstead this is Ben White, principal of Central Chicago High School. I have Y/N in my office right now and I would appreciate it if you could come down here."

"Is she in trouble?" Jay asked, knowing if it were anything other than that, he would have told him.

There was a pause on the other end of the line as the principal tried to figure out what to say. "Somewhat. I'll explain more in person."

"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

He hung up the phone and exited the interrogation room and went back into the bullpen to grab his keys and coat.

"Everything okay?" Voight asked.

"Not really. Y/N got in trouble at school, so I gotta go talk to her principal."

"What'd she do?" Kevin asked.

"Don't know yet, said he'll explain when I get there."

"Just don't be too hard on her. She's a good kid, Jay."

"I know, which is why I'm shocked that she's in trouble at all."

Hailey placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

***

When Jay walked into the principal's office, it was just like he remembered it from when he was in trouble in high school. Most of his were for a few fistfights at lunch or just not doing his homework. Hell, when he looked at you, you were in the same position he was always in whenever your guys' mom or dad had to come to pick him up: hands in your lap, head down, and eyes trained on the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Mr. Halstead, take a seat," Mr. White motioned for him to sit in the other empty seat facing his desk.

"Please, call me Jay. Mr. Halstead's my father. Now, what's this about?" he asked, looking between you and the principal to see which one of you would be the one to tell him.

"Well, as you know we have a very strict no-weapons policy at the school. And, well, your sister, this fell out of her locker."

At this, you looked up, wanting to gauge Jay's reaction. Something flashed across his eyes for a moment, and then anger took over a few seconds later. "A knife? Really? And my Ranger's knife at that?"

"I'm sorry," you mumbled. But, you couldn't tell him what was going on. After all, it's not like the school would do anything about it, which wasn't for lack of trying because oh people had tried alright.

Jay took a deep breath, not wanting to blow up at you in front of anyone. "Why do you even have it?"

When you didn't answer him, he turned to your principal. "She said that she was snooping through your stuff, and she found the knife, thought it was cool, and wanted to show it to her friends."

Now, snooping, Jay could see. But showing a knife to your friends? Even having a remote interest in any type of weapon? Well, that just wasn't you and you both knew that. But, he knew you wouldn't tell him the real reason unless you were alone, even then it was a long shot.

"I see," Jay nodded. "Let's not beat around the bush here. What kind of trouble is she in?"

"Well, typically we have to call the cops on this type of stuff, but I figured since you were a cop, that this would do. Typically, there's also a three to five day suspension that comes with these things, but seeing everything she's gone through in the past years and that she has outstanding grades and never has even had a detention, I'm going to let her off with a warning. She just has to go home for the rest of the day," Mr. White answered.

"And this won't be on her record?" Jay asked.

"This won't be on her record," Mr. White confirmed.

"What do you say, Y/N?" Jay asked.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, looking up once again.

"And?"

"And it won't happen again." Jay cleared his throat, telling you that you forgot something. "Sir," you added quickly.

It was always something your dad had taught Jay and Will when they got in trouble, that they had to use either sir or ma'am in the apology. Up until today, you never had to use it, but here you were. There's a first time for everything.

"I'm sure it won't," Mr. White said.

"I'm gonna go get my stuff," you said to Jay before leaving the principal's office.

Jay rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. Then, he turned back to Ben White. "I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why she'd do anything like this. This isn't like her--"

"Jay, she's been through a lot," he sympathized. "She's probably just acting out. Every teenager goes through that. We both know you did."

Mr. White was a young teacher back when Jay and Will were in high school, and he got to see some of Jay's fights first hand. He even had to rip him off a kid once in the cafeteria.

"Hey, they were always for good reasons...And, I always won."

"Now that you're not a student anymore, I can agree with that statement." He heard the door to the main office open. "Just, don't be too hard on her, okay?"

Jay nodded and stood up and left the office. Now he had to deal with his sister and try to figure out what was actually the real cause of this.

***

You started to run up the stairs but were stopped quickly by Jay's stern voice. "No, come back down here. We're going to talk about this."

You sighed, knowing you were going to be in deep shit from him since you got nothing from the school. You handed him your phone, but surprisingly, he handed it back to you.

"I get to keep my phone?"

"You do, but that's only because I'm letting you drive to and from school and that's it. You go to school and you come straight home. No stopping for coffee, donuts, fries, nothing. I need you to have your phone on you in case you get in an accident." You nodded, knowing his logic was sound.

"How long?"

"Three weeks."

"Jay! But homecoming's in two and a half! And I'm going dress shopping with Emma this weekend!"

"Should've thought of that before you brought a knife to school, my military knife at that. Why were you looking through my stuff anyway?"

"Just curious, I guess." It was a lie and you both knew it.

"That's not the truth. What's going on? Come on, you know you can tell me."

Not this I can't. But, you didn't say that. "That is the truth, Jay. Now, how am I going to get my homecoming dress?"

"You don't need a dress if you're not going to the dance."

"You can't keep this from me--"

"Yes, yes I can. If it was detention for tardies or a failed test or hell, even a fight, this wouldn't be happening. But you brought a knife to school. Not only is that against school rules, but it's against the law. What you did was illegal, Y/N."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, not with this. But, if you want to get a dress and go to the dance, maybe doing some extra chores can get you that."

"So, I don't have to tell Emma I can't come this weekend?" you asked, hopefully.

"Not what I said. You still can't go with Emma. If you earn back that privilege, Hailey can take you."

"But, Jay--"

"No buts. I put the offer on the table and I can just as easily take it off."

"Uh, fine."

"Now, I know you have classwork from the classes you missed today, so get to it. And, don't think I won't be telling Will about this."

***

You jolted awake from your sleep. Must've just been a nightmare, you thought. A really loud nightmare.

"You bastard!" you heard Jay yell.

Okay, so not a nightmare.

"Get away from him!"

Him? Who else was in the house besides you and Jay?

If it was serious, you knew Jay would have come to wake you up to get you out of the house or yelled your name by now. Slowly, you stood up and grabbed your phone. Then, you exited your room and walked across the hall to Jay's.

You heard more yelling and tossing and turning as you stood outside his door. After taking a deep breath, you slowly turned the knob and walked into his room.

When you saw the way Jay looked, you instantly knew what this was. "Let him go and no one gets hurt!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Jay turned towards you as if he had heard a noise in his nightmare which caused him to abruptly turn. His eyes were moving rapidly beneath his eyelids and his face was dripping sweat.

Luckily, he started to calm down. His breathing started to slow and he hadn't yelled for over a minute.

"Jay," you whispered, taking a step closer to him. "Jay. Jay Halstead," you repeated, this time a little louder.

Nothing. You took a risk and touched his shoulder. "Bastard!" he yelled, throwing a punch which caused you to jump back, his fist narrowly missing your face.

Now it was his as well as your breathing that was coming out jagged.

You couldn't wake him up. You couldn't risk touching him again.

Jay yelled out again, causing you to jump and run out of his room.

You pulled out your phone and dialed the familiar number, hoping that he hadn't gotten called into work.

"Hmmm, hello?" your oldest brother's voice came through your phone, thick with sleep.

"Will, I need you. Please come over."

"Y/N? What's wrong?" He immediately sat up in bed upon hearing the worry in your voice.

"Jay's he's having a nightmare and I can't wake him up and--"

Yelling could be heard in the background and Will cut you off. "Is that him?"

"Yeah." The next part, you said quieter. You knew it wasn't Jay's fault this was happening, but it didn't make your feelings any less valid. "Will, I'm scared."

You heard a door close on Will's end. "It's okay. I don't think he's ever sleep-walked from a nightmare. Just, whatever you do, do not touch him. Understand?"

"Yes." More screaming. "Please, just hurry."

You don't know how you got through those fifteen minutes without completely breaking down. And, in those fifteen minutes, it had gone from yelling to hearing a few things slam to the ground. You assumed it was just things on Jay's bedside table, like his alarm clock, water bottle, and phone that had fallen from him trying to throw punches every which way, but you were too scared to check. What if he was up and standing and could throw things at you? You couldn't do that.

The sight Will saw when he unlocked the door and walked into the house completely broke his heart. You were sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with your feet tucked under you, and silent tears were streaming down your face. If Will hadn't known any better, he would have thought you were making yourself as small as possible as if to disappear.

Will knelt down in front of you so that he was at eye level with you. "Hey, has it gotten worse?" You didn't look at him and that was all the confirmation Will needed.

You let out a deep shaky sob, finally feeling like it was safe for you to make noise again. Will took that opportunity to envelop you in a hug. "It's okay. It's okay. He can't hurt you. It's not him that's doing this. He doesn't know he's home."

"I know he thinks he's in Afghanistan, but he, Will, he almost, if I didn't..." you trailed off, not knowing how to tell your brother that Jay had almost hit you.

"What did he almost do, Y/N? You know he'll want all the details when he wakes up, so just tell me. I promise I won't be mad at him."

You took a deep breath. "He almost hit me, Will. I touched his shoulder and he just swung and--"

"Did I or did I not tell you not to touch him?"

"This was before I called you."

There was another crash and you whimpered. Will gave you one last squeeze and stood up. "Whatever you do, do not follow me, Y/N. I don't want you to see this."

You nodded and tugged your blanket tighter around you as if that was even possible.

The ice was melting in Will's hands as he walked towards Jay's bedroom. He could hear yelling, well, they were more like loud sobs at this point. The floor next to his bed was covered in things that fell from his bedside table: his alarm clock, water bottle, phone, the lamp...which luckily hadn't been on and the bulb hadn't broken.

"Now or never," Will muttered to himself as he stepped towards his younger brother. Then, he flung the ice out in front of him, causing it to land on Jay, and jumped back as fast as possible.

"You bastard! Fuck!" Jay's eyes shot open, drinking in his surroundings.

"Jay," Will said, quietly alerting his brother of his presence before placing his hand on his shoulder. "You're home, in Chicago, you're safe." Noticing that Jay's breathing hadn't yet slowed, Will overexaggerated his inhales and exhales. "Breathe with me. In...Out...In...Out...Good..." And so they continued that until Jay no longer needed Will to guide him through his breathing.

"What happened?" he asked, looking to where his things were strewn on the floor.

"Y/N called me. You were screaming and she tried to wake you up, but couldn't."

Jay's eyes widened. "Oh, God. I didn't...Please tell me I didn't hurt her, Will."

"No, but you did come close. She said she touched your shoulder and you just swung. She jumped out the way, though."

"Oh, God. I almost hit her, Will. Fuck. I'm a horrible brother."

Will sat done next to his brother, despite his sheets being all sweaty. "You are not a horrible brother, far from it. She knows it wasn't you that was doing this. Your mind was somewhere else. Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"It was, it was all because of that damn knife. I don't know why I even kept it in the first place, Will."

"You kept telling someone to let go of him and called someone a bastard. Who?"

"I- There was this kid. His dad was gonna kill him and put a gun to his head. I tried, but I couldn't, I couldn't..." Jay let out a strangled sob and wiped the tears that ran down his face.

Will started to run a hand up and down his back, something he learned long ago that soothed Jay after nights like these. "And the knife?"

"I used that to kill the boy's father. I should have just gotten rid of it when I had the chance."

"Jay, I'm sorry all of this got dug up."

"Yeah, me too. I'm not proud of the man I was back then. I thought I was over this."

"It's okay to fall apart sometimes."

Jay nodded, even though he hated when it happened because the bigger they are, the harder they fall. He bottles up all his emotions that when he finally falls apart, he explodes.

"I think Y/N would want to know you're okay," Will suggested.

You were still in the same position you had been in when Will left you when you heard footsteps approaching you and looked up. Jay's eyes were bloodshot and it was clear as day that he had been crying. You felt the couch dip as Jay sat next to you.

"I'm sorry," Jay said. Slowly, as if not to scare you, he wrapped an arm around your blanket-covered body.

"You scared me," you whispered.

"I know. Will told me. I'm so sorry." He scanned your face, making sure that Will wasn't lying to him when he had told him that he hadn't hit you. "I just need you to know that what you saw, that wasn't me, Y/N. It was my mind bringing me back to a very dark place. I would never, ever, ever knowingly scream at you like that or lay a hand on you."

"I know. You didn't even yell that bad with everything that happened at school today. But, it's all my fault."

"Y/N, look at me." You looked up, your eyes red-rimmed from all the crying. "None of this is your fault. Yes, seeing that knife triggered me. But, I could've just as easily seen it if the box fell over and the knife fell out."

You knew what he was getting at. He was trying to assure you that you and the knife were not what triggered him. It was the knife and the knife only.

"Can Will spend the night?" you asked, knowing that if it happened again, you wouldn't be alone when dealing with it.

"Of course. Now, go back to bed. You've got school tomorrow."

You nodded and stood up, knowing he was right. It was currently 3:30 in the morning and you had been up for an hour and a half and you needed to be awake by 6:00. And, you knew that you needed your focus to be razor sharp at school now that you didn't have any protection.

"Goodnight. I love you guys."

***

The weekend had come and gone and now it was Monday. As much as you hated Mondays, the ones before homecoming were becoming increasingly worse. Everything was fine until you had walked out of school, keys in hand.

"What the fuck?" you yelled as you were slammed into the side of your car, your cheek hitting the window hard.

Then, you felt a hand squeeze your butt. "Fifty points," he whispered in your ear.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you felt his hand reach for your keys. "Get the fuck away from her, Evans!"

Then, you felt him being ripped off of you, by none other than Jordan Atwater.

"Whatever," Derek Evans grumbled as he shrugged Jordan's hands off him. "I got fifty points and she just went from 200 to 250 for the rest of it." Then, he walked away and Jordan was quickly at your side.

"Are you okay?"

"No," you sniffled.

"Here, let me take you home, and then we can tell Kevin and Jay and they can come get your car."

"No! They can't know about this Jordan and you know that!"

"Y/N, he just did that forcibly and they just increased the point value for..." he trailed off, not wanting to say the disgusting words.

"Jordan, I'm fine. I can handle this."

"Fucking hell, Y/N. Do you know what I heard rumors about in the locker room?" You shook your head, not wanting to know at all, but knowing Jordan would tell you anyway. "He was planning on taking your keys so that you'd have to go with him. Some other guys were planning on following you home tomorrow."

"I can't- I don't know what to do, Jordan. It used to just be a stupid game, but now it's this and- fuck."

"I know, I know. Listen, how about I check on you after practice to make sure no one comes over?"

"Jay grounded me. I'll just get in more trouble if you come over."

"What'd you do?"

"Just something stupid," you answered. You knew that if you told him about the knife, he would most definitely tell Kevin.

He raised an eyebrow at you, but let your lie slide. "You're telling Jay tonight or so help me God, I am telling Kevin tomorrow before school."

"Can I just come over to your house?" you muttered.

Somehow, he heard you. "I thought you said Jay would be mad at you?"

"Then we can tell Kev and if Kev knows first, he can tell Jay because I don't want to be the one to tell him. He'll freak."

"Yeah. Tell you what? I'll pick you up at your house right after practice and then we can go to mine."

"Thanks for having my back, Jordan."

"Hey, that's what friends are for."

***

Jordan sucked in a breath as his phone dinged, alerting him that someone else had posted something on that stupid leaderboard for that stupid game.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" you asked as you sat next to him on the couch, assuming it was a text message notification.

"It's, uh, it's not important."

"If it's a text it's probably important."

Before Jordan even had time to react, you snatched the phone from the table in front of him. But, you quickly regretted your decision as your face paled and tears sprang to your eyes.

"Are they- are they all saying these things about me?" you asked, barely above a whisper as you handed Jordan his phone.

His eyes quickly skimmed the comment on the leaderboard in front of him and he sighed. "I mean, they've said some pretty horrible things, but this is up there with the most disgusting."

"What's most disgusting?" Kevin asked as he walked inside to see you two sitting on the couch, Jordan trying to keep his phone away from you despite you having already seen the comment. "Wait, aren't you grounded, Y/N?"

"Does Jay tell all my business to Intelligence?" you grumbled.

Kevin shrugged as he hung up his jacket. "Pretty much. But really, wat'cha doing here?"

You and Jordan shared a look that didn't go unnoticed by Kevin. "What's going on?"

***

"So you wanted to talk to me first so that I could help you break the news to Jay?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," you mumbled, shocked by you hadn't broken down yet. It was probably just because you were scared to tell Jay, scared of how he would react to people who were doing this, and scared of how he would react to you not having told him until now.

"Let me call him. I think he still had to finish up some paperwork, so maybe he hasn't noticed that you're gone yet."

Kevin walked away to go talk to Jay in private and Jordan went to the kitchen to grab you both some water. Absentmindedly, you ran your fingers over your cheek, not doubting that there would be a bruise there tomorrow due to how hard Derek shoved you up against your car.

"Need some ice?" Kevin asked, having reentered.

"I'm fine," you quickly said, knowing that Jay and Will would be babying you about your face anyway.

"If you say so."

Jordan returned with the water and slid one to you. "Jay mad?" he asked his older brother.

"I mean, I told him Y/N was over here and that she has something to tell him and to not get mad at her."

"Great, that helps a lot," you replied sarcastically.

"I also told him we might have a case."

"Okay, so he knows it's bad then. I just don't wanna blow this out of proportion--"

"Girl, blow this outta proportion?" Jordan interrupted. "They're planning on assaulting you! I think you can blow this up however much you want!"

"I just don't wanna be the one to start this conversation," you admitted.

"We gotchu, girl, we gotchu," Kevin reassured you.

***

"You better have a good reason why you left the house-- without telling me I might add-- when you're grounded!" That was the first thing Jay yelled as Kevin let him into the house.

"Whoa, calm down, man. She's got a good reason to be here--"

"A good reason? A good reason being that she wanted to hang out with Jordan when I clearly stated that she was to come straight home after school!"

Roughly, he pulled a chair out from under the table to sit down across from you. You stayed staring at the wood of the table, not wanting to look him in the eye. "You have a good reason, Y/N?" he asked smugly. "Then look me in the eye and tell me that reason."

Jordan squeezed your shoulder in reassurance, which gave you the bit of confidence you needed to look your brother in the eyes. "I- there's these points and I was pushed and..." you ran your hands down your face in frustration, trying to stop your tears. "I can't do this."

"Is that a bruise forming on your cheek?" Jay asked as you removed your hands from your face, his eyes immediately softening. You nodded. "Care to elaborate?"

"A football player shoved me up against my car and then he- and then he grabbed my ass."

"Does this football player have a name?" he asked, looking to Jordan because he was on the football team.

"He does, but there's more and I'm gonna tell you that first because I don't think Y/N wants to."

"Thank you," you whispered to Jordan.

"So it's more than just a stupid kid playing grab-ass with my sister?" Jay asked, anger starting to seep out once more.

"There's point values attached to each grab," Jordan started. "Grab a girl, it's usually 50 points. Do some other things with her, there's more depending on what it is. Freshmen are strictly off-limits, so it's Y/N's first year dealing with it."

"How long has it been going on?"

"I think the game started totally five years ago. It happens for a month leading up to homecoming. Anyone on the varsity football team pays $10 to play, and whoever has the most points at the end of the month gets the money.

"And this year, they started a leaderboard online, where you can vote on doing different things. If it gets enough votes, it's up for grabs for points. And well, just take a look."

Jordan slid his open phone to Jay and he scrolled through the website, complete with a leaderboard. He looked at the most recent comments and scrolled to the beginning of the thread.

200 points if you can get the cop's sister to give you oral

Jay swallowed a lump in his throat as he read the title and continued to scroll.

100 for the actual act and another 100 if you get it on video

Deal

Deal

Definitely

Just don't get caught

She's small so it shouldn't be that hard

Think she had a crush on me last year, so this should be a piece of cake. Pay up boys

You're on, Evans

Then, he got to the comments after today's events had occurred.

Grabbed Halstead's ass in the parking lot and was so close to getting her keys, but Atwater stopped me. Buzzkill. It's gettin' close to hoco, so points for her are now up to 250

Eh, I'll just follow her home tomorrow and then get her before her brother gets home

Her lips will probably feel so good wrapped around me

Jay let out a shaky breath as he got to the end of the thread. "You're right, Kev. I think we might have a case on our hands. You wanna go home, Y/N?"

"I'm scared," you said as you looked up at your brother, tears streaming down your face. "What if they come to the house, Jay?"

"Y/N, I promise you that I will never, ever allow that to happen."

***

You were in the shower, but you could still make out the faint sound of Jay's voice. You didn't know who he was talking to, but you assumed it was either Will, Voight, or Hailey.

All the events of the past two weeks came down on you, crushing you like a ton of bricks. You knew this game was going to happen, but what you didn't know was that they going to do that 200, well now 250 points for you. At least, you hadn't known until Jordan told you and begged you to tell someone.

Since the start of this sick, twisted game, you made sure to wear something that always covered your butt, such as a long sweater or hoodie paired with jeans or leggings. But apparently, that didn't stop money-hungry and hormonal teenage boys.

The first time it happened, it was just a quick pinch when you were standing at your locker, nothing too alarming. Hell, you hadn't even known who it was. But then, once the 200 points were on the line, they started getting more and more aggressive, cornering you after lunch or after class, blocking you from exiting the locker bank.

You had heard the whispers of what Derek Evans planned to do, so you took matters into your own hands, hence stealing Jay's knife from the Rangers. People always said to go to the school, that they'd stop if enough people told. But, they never stopped. Girls had tried and tried last year, and nothing happened. Hell, you were so close to talking to the principal but were cornered right before walking into the main office, so you gave up. You figured you could just put up with it until it was over, despite how much anxiety simply going to school was now giving you.

You stepped out of the shower, dried off, and changed into your pajamas. Then, you glanced at yourself in the mirror: puffy and red eyes and cracked lips stared back at you. You hadn't even felt human since this thing started. You felt like a fucking object.

A fucking arcade game that told them that if they tried hard enough they'd win a damn prize.

The gut-wrenching sob that left your lips stopped Jay on his way to the kitchen. Jay made his way to the bathroom and knocked on the door, your sobs still ever-present.

"Y/N, can I come in? Please?" He asked quietly, using the voice he used when he had to talk to children on the job.

"I just wanna be a-alone right now J-Jay," you hiccupped.

Jay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know I can't let you do that. It's not healthy." He didn't get a response, so he just stood outside the bathroom, hoping you'd exit sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. And your breathing just got shallower and shallower. "Are you dressed?" he asked.

It took you a moment, but somehow you managed to tell him that you were.

Your vision was starting to go blurry and your feet and fingers were starting to go numb. The sides of your head were pounding so much that you thought it was going to explode.

Jay took a paperclip and unfolded it, then pressed it into the knob until a click was heard. The door was heavier than he had expected, alerting him that you were slumped against it. You felt yourself being pushed forward, but at this point, you didn't even care since you were too focused on not passing out. But, if you did pass out you figured, at least your mind wouldn't wander to all the recent events.

"Y/N, Y/N, open those eyes for me, okay? Just look at me. Focus on me," Jay urged you after he had squeezed himself through the door and was now crouching down in front of you.

"C-Can't-- Open eyes-- hurts," you said through shallow and fast breaths.

"Okay. I'm gonna squeeze your hand. Just focus on the touch and try and follow my breathing."

"What-- if I-- pass-- out?"

"I won't let that happen. Now in, out, in, out. Good. Now I'm gonna add a second. In, out, in, out..."

You continued to focus on Jay's voice as you slowly but surely started to regain feeling in your feet and fingers.

"Can you open your eyes for me?" Jay asked, once your breathing had returned to a semi-normal state for a few cycles. Slowly, you opened your eyes but quickly closed them. "Head still hurt?"

"Yeah."

"That'll happen when not enough oxygen gets to the brain. You can even ask Will to fact check me." You heard the doorbell ring. "Speaking of Will..."

"You didn't."

"But I did. He brought food, too."

"Jay? Y/N? You here?" you heard Will yell from down the hallway after he entered the house.

"Bathroom!" Jay replied, causing you to wince due to how close he was to your ear. "Sorry."

"What the hell happened?" Will asked as he rushed to crouch down in front of you, going into doctor mode when he saw your eyes were clenched shut. There was a pause as Jay mouthed panic attack to his older brother. "Okay, well I'm gonna go get you some water, hopefully that'll make your head stop hurting and then I'll check out that cheek of yours."

"Do you have to?" you whined.

"Kid, one day you'll thank me for this."

"I doubt it," you mumbled.

Will came back with a glass of water and slid it into your hand, making sure that your hand was firmly wrapped around it before letting go. After waiting about a minute after you'd finished the water, you opened your eyes.

"Better?" Will asked.

"Better," you confirmed. "Thanks."

"That's what big brothers are for."

"So that means you don't have to go all doctor on me?"

"Ha, that was funny. Now, sit on the counter so I can take a look."

You pushed yourself off the floor and then onto the counter, Jay standing up after you to stand next to Will. Great, now you had two worried older brothers both looking at the same thing. At least they weren't both doctors.

"Damn, it's already bruising," Jay said as he looked on.

Will hand gently touched your cheek. "Tell me if anywhere hurts." He touched from your jaw up to your cheek bone, but the only place you told him that hurt was between the two and a bit at the bottom of your cheek bone.

"You're lucky," Will started, "You hit it just a bit higher I might have to take you in for x-rays to make sure you didn't bruise or fracture your cheek bone."

"No hospital?" you asked hopefully.

"No hospital," Will confirmed. "Just lots of ice."

"Come on, let's go get that food Will brought before it gets too cold...and the beer for me and him gets warm."

***

You walked into Intelligence with Jay the next morning, trying to think of anything but the worried looks you were getting. "It's okay to be scared," Jay told you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. "And, I'll be there the whole time."

"Do you have to?" you asked him.

"Because you're a minor and I'm your legal guardian, they can't talk to you unless I'm there. So, yes, I have to be with you."

"Hailey," Voight's raspy voice carried through the bullpen. "You go talk to Y/N. Ruzek, go talk to Jordan."

"Jordan's here?" you asked, looking up at Jay.

"Yeah. Kevin wanted him to give a statement, too. Said he can attest to all the stuff that was said in the locker room."

"Oh." You didn't want to think about the things that were said. If you thought what they were posting was bad, what they talked about in the locker room you knew would be ten times worse.

You followed Hailey into the breakroom. Despite being here dozens of times before, it felt odd to you this time, eerie, as it was waiting to gobble up your deepest and darkest secrets and fears and share them with the world.

Hailey sat across from you and Jay sat next to you. "Jay, I need you to read this over and sign it since Y/N's a minor." She slid two pieces of paper over to him and he glanced at them and quickly scribbled his signature.

Hailey gave him a look that said you're not gonna read it? "I've told parents what this says before. I know the drill." Hailey nodded and took the papers from him.

"Start from the beginning, Y/N. What happened with Derek Evans?" Hailey prompted.

"I have a question." Here goes nothing. Hailey nodded at you to continue while Jay furrowed his eyebrows. He had been over how this was going to work with you before you even stepped out of the house this morning to try and ease your nerves. "Does it matter?"

"Does what matter? What he did to you? Of course, it does," Hailey answered.

"No, sorry. That came out wrong. "Does it matter that I had a crush on him last year...and kinda into this year." The crush only lasted two months into this school year though, when you found out he had cheated on his current girlfriend. But last year, oh last year your crush was in full swing and you took every opportunity you could to talk to the then junior, and there was no fooling anyone in that school that you had been head over heels for him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not following," Hailey apologized.

"Since I had a crush on him and he knew it, couldn't he take that as I wanted this?"

"No. It's only consent if both parties agreed to it."

"But maybe me having a crush on him would make him think that."

Now, it was Jay's turn to speak. "Did you take health class yet?"

"No, I take it next semester. Why?"

"The teacher will talk about consent there, but I guess we're doing it now." He looked at Hailey to make sure this was okay and she nodded at him to continue. "What do you think has to happen for someone to not consent?"

"One of them has to say no or stop."

"Is that the only way to be sure?"

"I mean, I guess."

"See, that's where you're wrong. It's not consent if you slap his hand away. It's not consent if you're too drunk to say yes. Same for drugs. It's not consent if you're coerced into it. And, consent can be revoked at any time. Any time. To keep it simple for you to remember right now, it's only consent if you and him both said yes to this. And, I know you didn't say yes to what happened to you and what they were threatening to do to you."

"So, even though I didn't say stop or no right away when he pushed me up against my car and grabbed me, I still wasn't consenting?" you asked.

"No," Hailey answered. "Did he ask to grab your butt?"

"No."

"Therefore, there was no consent involved."

There was a knock on the door and Hailey got up to answer it. "Halstead, a word," Voight ordered, motioning for him to follow.

Jay glanced at you. "Hey, don't worry, kid. Everything will work out one way or another."

Jay followed Voight into his office and closed the door. "What's up, Sarge?"

"The kid who grabbed your sister, well he's 18, Jay. Just turned 18 last month."

"So, we can press more charges?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Since all we have are threats and Y/N's and Jordan's word against his, most we can do is forcible touching. If he had acted on the threat, then that'd be a different story."

"So, you're saying that she had to be forced to have oral sex with this ass to press more charges? The threats aren't enough? Even though we clearly have proof of the threats from that goddamn leaderboard."

"I know it's not ideal--"

Jay threw his hands up. "Ideal? It's ridiculous!"

Voight was about to say something, but was stopped by a knock on his office door. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Boss, we got a problem," Ruzek said as he entered.

"What type of problem?"

"The Evans kid? Yeah, well his dad's the president of the school board."

"You're kidding."

"Wish I was, Boss."

"Jay, go see if Y/N knew about this. The rest of us are gonna figure out how to proceed with this new information."

Jay was about to enter the breakroom, when his phone buzzed. It was Will.

Any news? the text read.

Other than the fact that the Evans kid's dad is the president of the school board and we only have enough to get him on forcible touching, no nothing new.

Jay didn't even think about the fact that he was sharing information about an open investigation. To him, this was just him talking to his brother about the case that involved his sister.

Jay held down the power button to turn his phone off and then walked back into the breakroom. "Anything?" Hailey asked.

"Uh, yeah. But let's finish interviewing Y/N first. I know we had to stop since I left."

Jay sat back down next to you and Hailey started questioning you once again.

"Did you know that this game was going to happen?" Hailey asked.

"Yeah, that's why I started wearing long sweaters and hoodies, to try and cover up my butt."

"Okay, and when it start to turn into more than grabs?"

"Um, one day Jordan called me after school and he told me that Derek was planning to get me to..." you trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"I know you think it's disgusting to say, Y/N, but I need you to say what he said to you."

You looked up at Jay, feeling like a five-year-old who was about to say a swear word. "It's okay. We won't laugh or get mad."

"He uh, Jordan told me that Derek was going to get me to give him a blowjob...even if he had to force me to do it."

A few tears ran down your face. Even though your brother was a cop, telling the actual cops in an actual statement made it that much more real.

"Do you want a break? Some water maybe?" Hailey asked.

"No, I'm fine. I just wanna get this over with."

"Okay. Did anyone try and tell the principal? Any teachers? Other adults?"

"Girls tried, they really did. They told Mr. White, the principal, but he said that they didn't have any proof. And, he also said that they were football players and that some of them had shots at scholarships for D1 schools. Why would we want to wreck that for them, is what he had asked us. And, Derek's dad is on the school board, so we knew that even if it went further than the principal and to the superintendent or school board, that nothing would happen.

"I was gonna try to tell Mr. White once, but I was cornered before I got into the main office, so I was scared."

You turned to Jay now. "I'm sorry. I should've told you when this all started but I didn't want to get made fun of or have more things happen at school because what if they canceled football and it was all my fault and--"

"You need to remember that you did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing, you hear me?" you nodded. "And what White did, basically saying that boys will be boys, that makes me sick. And if I had a way to arrest him, I would."

"Thanks, Jay."

A comfortable silence fell over you before you explained everything else, like Derek shoving you against your car and forcibly grabbing your ass. You also explained how Jordan had said that he was planning on taking your keys so you'd have to have oral with him to get them back and how other players were planning on following you home.

After that, you were out in the bullpen, when Trudy Platt came up the stairs. "Hank, Halstead, I need you to go this address."

Platt handed Voight a piece of paper, which you're assuming had the address on it. "Why? This doesn't have to do with our case. Couldn't patrol do it?"

"I don't think Halstead would be pleased if I put his brother in lockup, so I figured I'd have you two go check it out," she answered.

"What did Will do?" you piped up before Jay could.

"Let's just say him and Derek Evans each got a few punches in," Trudy answered. "I thought you two could be the ones to go down and get him."

"Thanks, Trudy," Voight said as he started to walk downstairs. But, he stopped when he noticed that Jay wasn't following.

"Uh, Hailey," Jay called. "Could you maybe take Y/N to Will's house while I do this? I just don't want her at home in case they somehow got our address."

"Yeah, no problem," Hailey answered, taking the spare key Jay handed her.

You four walked down the stairs and then each headed your separate ways. Once Jay and Voight were in the car, Voight turned to him. "Care to tell me how Will found the name and address?"

"Sarge, I have absolutely no idea." And then he remembered the text he sent. "Oh, oh shit. Listen, it was an accident. He asked me if we had any new information, and I told him that Derek was 18 and he must've just went from that. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. To me, this isn't just an investigation, it's an investigation that involves my sister and I was just giving information to my brother without thinking about the legal ramifications."

"I get it, Jay. I did the same thing with Justin."

"Are we really arresting him?"

"No, but we are gonna have a chat with Derek and his father."

***

"I want to press charges!" Derek Evans' dad yelled when Jay and Hank rolled up to the scene. "This man assaulted my son!"

"Yeah? Well, your son assaulted my sister, so I think it's even!" Will spat back.

"Let's just take a moment to talk this out," Voight said, stepping between the two.

"I won't talk until you put this man in handcuffs!"

Voight turned and nodded at Jay. "Sarge, you can't be--"

"I am serious, Jay. Now do it and bring him to the car. Now."

Jay gritted his teeth and put Will's hands behind his back. "You have the right to right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. If you do not have the money to afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been told to you?" Jay recited as he led Will to the car.

"Yes. Jay, what are you--"

"Just go with it," Jay hissed in his ear, causing his older brother to shut up.

Jay put Will in the back of the car and then got in the passenger seat. "Now, in a second I'm going to take these off and then I'm gonna go inside and talk to them with Voight. Do not, under any circumstances, get out of the car. You understand me?"

"Yeah, now can you get these off me? You put 'em on real tight, Jay."

Jay smirked as he took Will out of the car and undid his cuffs. "Payback for all the times you poked me with a needle." Then, he looked at Will's face. "Looks like the kid got a few good punches on you. There's gonna be a real nice shiner there," he joked.

"Shut up and go finish your job." Will rolled his eyes as Jay put the cuffs back in his pocket and left Will in the car.

When Jay walked into the Evans' residence he saw Derek, Derek's dad, and Hank all sitting down at the kitchen table. "Now, we know that your son has threatened to force himself on a girl at school, so this can go one of two ways," Voight started as Jay stood behind him. "We can either contact the media and tell them all about this little game he and his teammates like to play, but that he took a step too far, which would ensure he doesn't get into a good college. Or, you could transfer him out of his current high school and to a new one and this doesn't get out to the press. Your choice."

"You don't have enough to charge him, so why would I pull my son out of school his senior year?"

"Because, once word gets out, well no college wants a guy with a history of sexual assault on their football team. It sets a bad image."

"It's not like I even did anything!" Derek protested, while still trying to hold the ice pack to his lip that Will had busted open.

"Oh, didn't do anything? Let me enlighten you. You got the pictures, Sarge?" Jay asked.

"Got 'em right here."

Voight laid all the pictures of the leaderboard and the messages about you on the table. "The girl who Derek said he wanted to get oral sex from? That guy in the back of our car right now is her brother. Now, do you understand why the fight broke out, Mr. Evans?"

Derek's dad looked back and forth between the pictures and his son, trying to figure out how his son could do this. "Derek, did you say these things?"

"Oh, he did more than say. He slammed the girl up against her car and forcibly grabbed her backside," Jay said, not wanting to admit he was your brother or else there would be a conflict of interest in this encounter. And, even though Derek knew, Jay was the one with a gun so he figured the best idea would be to not piss him off.

Voight laid the picture of your bruised cheek on the table. "This is what happened because of that. She's lucky she didn't break her cheekbone."

"I'm- I'm sorry," Derek finally spoke up. "It was just supposed to be a fun game that we bet some money on who could get the most points."

"A game? A game is football. This is bordering on assault. We are far from a game," Jay told him.

"So, what's it gonna be? Take Derek out of school and transfer him or do I call the media? You have five seconds," Voight told him, pulling out his phone to silently tell them that he wasn't bluffing.

Derek's eyes widened. "I'll transfer! I'll transfer!"

"Derek, we need time to think about this--"

"No, Dad, I need a shot at a scholarship to go D1."

"Then it's settled. Thank you for your time."

Jay and Voight left the house and went back to the car. "What's the verdict?" Will asked.

"He's transferring schools," Voight answered and handed the folder of evidence photos to Jay.

"Why are you giving these to me?"

Voight shrugged. "Do with them what you want, Halstead. I wouldn't blame you, no one would."

***

"Hailey, can you give me and Y/N a second?" Jay asked as you entered you house and shrugged off your coats.

"Of course."

"You can stay out here. We'll talk in Y/N's room," Jay said.

You walked down the hall and went into your room and sat on your bed. "So, what's up? Did you arrest Derek?"

"Unfortunately, we didn't have enough evidence to do that."

You looked down at your hands. "But then it's just gonna keep happening, Jay. I don't wanna go back there."

"Back where?" he asked, sitting next to you.

"To school, it'll just be worse."

"Hey, no it won't because he's transferring schools."

"But the other boys will just keep doing it, Jay. I'm terrified."

"Hey, hey look at me." You looked up at Jay, trying to stop yourself from crying. "That will not happen, I can promise you that."

"But you don't know that."

"Just trust me on this one."

"Okay," you whispered.

"And one more thing," Jay started. "If it didn't already go without saying, you're ungrounded because I'm assuming you brought that knife to school to use in case anything happened. And, with what happened yesterday, I can't say I blame you."

"Thanks, I figured as much."

"Now, next time you need something for self-defense, we're just gonna get you some pepper spray."

"Good idea."

"Let's go back out to Hailey and you two can look at Pinterest or whatever for dresses or whatever it is girls do with that stuff."

***

The next morning, you woke up to message after message about school. There were links sent you entitled Football Player Assaults Girl Outside of School Because of a Bet and Principal of a Chicago High School Resigns Because of Complaints from Girls about the Football Team Sexually Harassing Them, but He Didn't do Anything about It.

You could not believe it. Just 48 hours ago you were freaking out about having to go to school for fear of a guy grabbing you or doing something worse. And now, you could go to school and feel comfortable. And, those boys wouldn't do anything else and if something did happen, you'd be able to tell the assistant principal--who was now acting principal--about what was happening and have something actually be done about it.

"Jay!" you yelled as you ran into the kitchen, almost bumping into him.

"Whoa, slow down! I almost spilled hot coffee on you!" he laughed as he set his mug down on the table and turned back to you.

"Sorry, sorry. Have you seen this? Someone leaked the leaderboard and now Mr. White resigned! I'll actually be able to focus in class now!" You slid the phone to him and he looked at the titles in the notifications. "I just wonder who did it."

"Told you I'd handle it." Then, he took a sip of his coffee.

"Oh my God, you were the one who leaked it?" Your eyes almost popped out of your head. Couldn't that get him in trouble?

"I never said that."

"You just sipped your coffee like that Kermit and the sips tea meme, so yeah, I think you did," you playfully argued.

"Well, technically, it wasn't me. I just passed on a copy of the pictures to a CI of mine, whose cousin happens to work for the Chicago Sun-Times."

"Bye-bye college football for all these assholes."

"And the city's a safer place because of it."

"Hey, what do I always say: Go save Chicago."

"Team effort. And this time, Y/N, you got to play a part in that team."

A/N: I know it's been almost a month since I've posted an imagine, but school is busy and I'm writing long imagines, which usually take me a week to write, so that's why.  Oh, and happy Valentine's Day (bc that's in like 2 days). Go cuddle with your boyfriend/girlfriend if you have one. Or, if you're single (like me) go read some cute fluffy fanfiction and eat all the chocolate!

[xpeachesncream]

perfectly wrong | one

summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.

pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth

genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2301

chapter warnings: cussing, mature language, very slight angst, some hints of jealousy, alcohol consumption

notes: pls remember that this is set a few months after you and tae have been going at it, so it will seem like things are happening a bit fast. i’m not trying to prolong this series. also most importantly, i tend to usually write shorter chapters > shorter, but more chapters published. enjoy!

> series masterlist <

Jungkook decided he was going to see if he could jump over your couch and land perfectly in a seated position.

"Wait, wait, wait. Absolute silence everybody." He says as he's stretched over, trying to estimate the timing and height of his jump. He had always been super athletic and competitive since you two were small, so there was really no changing his mind on this. He always had to prove something, even if that meant creating his own competition of jumping over the couch.

"It's just me and you." You watched him from the kitchen, making sure the pizza in the oven was baking properly.

"I have an audience, okay? Don't be rude, Y/N." He says as he points over to the fake audience clapping and laughing during a 'Friends' episode.

"Whatever, as long as you don't go breaking my shit, Jeon Jungkook." He was 22, but his mentality was 8. That was for damn sure.

"Siiiiiiilence." He says at a whisper, his eyes shut as he puts a finger to his mouth. He lets out a huff and a puff before he gets the courage to throw himself over the couch and land a perfect landing. "And once again, he sticks the landing!" He stands up with his hands up in the air.

"You're annoying." You laughed, getting paper plates ready for the pizza that was about to be done because you were in no mood to do any dishes tonight.

"Thank you! I'll be here again tomorrow, same time." He calls out to his fake audience.

"No the hell you're not."

"Ouch, nevermind. Someone apparently doesn't want me here." You laugh at how dramatic he is. At this point, you just let him be because that was something you always loved about your bestfriend. He embraced the kid in him and always brought good times. You had similarities, but you also had some major differences. You liked being in your comfort zone & you were labeled the innocent nerd amongst your friends. You just like to consider yourself simple, though. A 'take it day by day' kind of person. Kookie was fun, adventurous and childish at times. He was also shy, but loud at the same time? An introverted extrovert, you could say.

But you loved each other nonetheless, that's why you've clicked so well since you were young. You taught each other things & grew together.

"Here, fool." You placed the pizza in front of him with the paper plates.

"Set it up, I'll grab us the drinks. You want anything in particular?"

"That bottle of Stella Rosa, please." JK knew you loved that Stella Rosa, so he happily grabs the bottle and two wine glasses. He plops back next to you on the couch, pouring your glasses and grabbing a heaping serving of 4 slices of pizza.

You both decided you want a good laugh, so you throw on Kevin Hart's newest installment: Zero Fucks Given. It isn't long before you both are rolling on the floor, almost gasping for air at how much you're laughing at Kevin Hart's stand up. The pizza is gone, the wine is gone, and you're still feeling pretty tipsy. The whole thing sounds nice, until your head starts to wonder what Taehyung is doing and if he'll text you to come over tonight. You know he probably already has plans with another chick though, and that hits you.

Curse this fucking alcohol.

Let's get this straight - the only time you 'talk' is when he's trying to fuck.

And yes bitch, you let him do this to you. You're out that door before you can even fully slip your shoes on. Dick is just that good. It's something about Taehyung that makes you addicted. The way he gives you a stupid ass smirk when he opens his door, the way he touches your skin and gently lays his shit on you until you both become really invested in the moment. So invested that shit hits the roof. It gets messy. It gets rough. It becomes unspeakable.

You aren't friends. No one knows about you two, or that you even know the other exists. You don't know shit about each other. The only thing you know is that he's fucking other girls. He has a whole roster, you'd imagine - a starting five, at least.

He doesn't care about you, and for the most part, you don't either. At least, that's what you like to portray because it's been some months now since this whole thing started and you can't help but feel some kind of emotional tie to him. You're leaving your house between 12-2am in the morning and sleeping in his bed until 6-7am. It's a routine; a routine you've become used to. You skip out on some late night kick-its with your friends cause you anticipate a text to come through from him.

But, he doesn't care. You aren't the only female slipping into those sheets, and boy does it fucking make it hard to swallow. Reality hits hard when you think about it and you feel this huge pit in your stomach. You try to be different, you try to stand out one way or another. But it doesn't work that way. You knew what this entailed going into it, so it makes zero sense as to why you're hurting and getting jealous from time to time.

You know it still doesn't matter to him.

He's only fucking you over cause you let him. You know damn well you're not gonna change and let this go, though. You love thrill of it too much. It's the most thrill your life has had. You're not perfect and you're only human. You make mistakes, but this one definitely puts the cherry on top. Because not only do you refuse to learn, but you let it repeat itself over and over again.

"Aishhhh, my stomach hurts from laughing too much." Jungkook laid his head back and patted his belly. "But that was good though. I needed that."

"Yeah it was. Thanks for coming by to watch that with me, Kook." He tilts his head over to look at you and smiles.

"Sure thing." He checks his phone and sits up. "Yoongi is blowing up the group chat." You check your phone to see multiple unread messages from none other than Min Yoongi himself.

[yoongi] 10:37pm: aye

[yoongi] 10:45pm: all of a sudden, everyone is ghost in this group chat?! you all had a lot to say not too long ago.

[yoongi] 10:52pm: even though you guys are fake as fuck, does anyone wanna come with me to the bars tonight? meet at my place so we can head out.

You and Jungkook laughed at how butthurt Yoongi was in the groupchat. Yoongi definitely was the most serious and blunt one in your group, but he still liked to party and have a good time. It was just how he was. Hoseok was always full of energy and probably the most extroverted one out of all 4 of you. He was never shy. You and Jungkook met Yoongi and Hoseok your first year in college and became inseparable ever since. You all just click with your different attributes.

[jungkook] 10:53pm: lmaoooooooo

[yoongi] 10:53pm: fuck you dude lol

[jungkook] 10:54pm: i'll come through in a sec, i'm at y/n's right now. not sure if she's gonna come though?

[y/n] 10:55pm: i'll pass, i'm tired and wined out.

[hoseok] 10:55pm: ahahahah yoongi shut up, blowing up my phone for no reason. i'm passing on tonight too. im tired from working that overtime *cries*

[yoongi] 10:56pm: you both are boring. i'm especially offended at how i didn't get an invite to your little powwow, y/n. and now you don't wanna hang out?

[hoseok] 10:57pm: she mentioned she was going to watch kevin hart's thing yesterday and offered us to swing by if we wanted to though....... selective hearing, maybe?

[y/n] 10:58pm: ^ okayyyyy and that's on period! thank you hobi <3

[hoseok] 10:59pm: anything for the baby

[yoongi] 10:59pm: lmao you're a brat, y/n. whatever, i'm still hurt by you both! kook, hurry on over so we can drink

"Fuck I regret this, I'm gonna die." Jungkook laughed as he stood up and stretched. He quickly helped you clean up before he figured it was time to go or else Yoongi would have a fit.

"I feel like it has to do with that one girl he's been talking to on and off."

"Perhaps." Jungkook shrugged before putting on his shoes. "We shall see." he sighs before giving you a tight hug. "You sure you don't wanna come out?"

"Nope."

"You don't even have plans tonight."

"Yes I do."

"Doing what?"

"Laying in bed." Jungkook snorted as you shook your head and shrugged. What else did he think you were trying to do? He should know you by now, at the very least.

"Alright, I'm not even going to argue. I'm off."

"Be safe, have fun, text me if you both need anything, okay?" He nods as he shuts the door, leaving you to your lonesome. You swirled the teeny tiny drop of wine leftover in your glass around before picking up your phone.

No new texts. Well, let's be specific: no new texts from taehyung.

You did forget to respond to your oldest cousin though, when he was just trying to check up on you.

[seokjin] 8:35pm: pssst y/n

[seokjin] 8:35pm: psssssssssst

[seokjin] 8:35pm: oyyyyyyyyyy

He was damn near 30 years old and hated talking on the phone so much that he decides to blow up your phone this way. But, he was the cousin you loved dearly and you had a very tight, sibling-like relationship with him. He was like the older brother you've always wanted. He watched you grow, protected you, kept you safe, supported you and cheered you on - especially when your family talked so much shit about how you and him weren't gonna get anywhere with your goals. You know, the fucking stupid ol' saying of 'chasing your passion isn't going to bring you money & wealth.' Your family was all about the titles and money, but Jin was passionate about cooking and wanted to open his own cafe. You, on the other hand, wanted to pursue your art. Jin was the biggest role model for you because he was the first to defy your family's wants and wishes. He was the black sheep of the family with a huge 'I don't give a fuck' mentality and he taught you that along the way.

Don't ever be afraid to do what you're passionate about. Fuck 'em.

[y/n] 11:13pm: hi sorry, jungkook was over and we were watching kevin hart's new thing on netflix over some wine and pizza.

[seokjin] 11:15pm: that sounds fun! sorry, i just wanted to check on you but i see you're doing okay lol

[y/n] 11:16pm: i am. :) i'll hang out with you tomorrow

[seokjin] 11:16pm: how sweet, my freeloading baby cousin is coming by

[y/n] 11:17pm: hahahah shut up! although you're not wrong, i am going to steal some food. but most importantly, i do want to hang out and see my bestest oppa <3

[seokjin] 11:18pm: awww y/n, you're so full of shit <3

[seokjin] 11:18pm: go to bed

[y/n] 11:19pm: haha love you tooooo

And so, that's what you did. You got yourself all ready for bed, believing you wouldn't be leaving your house tonight. You pampered yourself, put on a face mask and got yourself all lathered up in lotion just to lay down. You're in Jungkook's shirt that he left behind (and never looked for, so technically it's yours now) when the guys had stayed the night and some Vicky Secret panties.

You're scrolling through your Instagram feed, seeing Jungkook's newly posted story with him and Yoongi already at the bars, acting a damn fool. You laughed at the video he took of Yoongi trying to dance in a tight, awkward space on the crowded dance floor even though he was never the best at dancing. It lowkey made you wish you went out with them so you wouldn't be stuck here thinking about your feelings and how lonely these hours get.

And then you see Jimin's story from an hour ago. He knew you were friends with Yoongi, and although Yoongi wasn't fond of their group too much, he was still an avid party-goer and mingled with people there. You've only spoken to Jimin once because you had to work with him in the same group on a class assignment. You tried to keep it that way though because he was Taehyung's bestfriend. They went everywhere together, did everything together. He, too, was very popular among the ladies and across campus. I guess it was just their thing.

You assume they were at a party cause Jimin quickly flashes the camera at Taehyung, who's in front of him getting a lapdance from some chick. Jimin quickly turns the camera back to his face as he's laughing uncontrollably then abruptly cuts it off.

Great.

She's forsure going home with him tonight.

You set your phone down on the night stand and put on a show on your laptop to help you fall asleep.

Just as you're about to get some shut eye, your phone vibrates. You let it slip at first because you thought it could be one of the guys playing around, but it vibrates again, signaling another text coming through. You pick up your phone just to make sure Yoongi and Jungkook aren't in any trouble and need you to bail their asses out.

[taehyung] 12:17am: hey

[taehyung] 12:20am: come over.

You scoff at how he assumes you're still up and that you'd be coming over. You hated that. He knew he just had your ass.

undefined

track two: hit different - sza & ty dolla $ign

[binniesthighs]

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites! 

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general! 

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts 

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;) 

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!) 

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol  

*all photocreds go to ops :) 

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip! 

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates 

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!! 

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world. 

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever! 

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves! 

 your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh 

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours! 

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up. 

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair! 

nsfw 

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh 

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh 

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?” 

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤 

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;) 

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm! 

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;) 

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over 

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it! 

♡ woosan  ♡

sfw 

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before... 

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is! 

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!! 

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up! 

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha 

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL 

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh 

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha 

nsfw 

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL 

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!! 

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it 

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it. 

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss 

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well. 

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him! 

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA 

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life! 

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them. 

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3 

♡  moonbae  ♡

sfw 

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh 

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about 

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you 

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;) 

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night. 

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice. 

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well 

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe 

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here. 

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK 

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho. 

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you 

nsfw 

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe) 

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you! 

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire! 

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that) 

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too! 

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;) 

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho! 

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol 

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;) 

♡ jookyun  ♡ 

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll) 

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time! 

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf! 

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL) 

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering. 

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day. 

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah 

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets! 

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee 

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP 

nsfw 

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is. 

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt 

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started 

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too! 

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles 

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join! 

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~ 

♡  junhao  ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha 

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved! 

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good? 

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe 

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics 

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you! 

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute! 

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh 

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames.... 

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that! 

nsfw 

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words. 

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten. 

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes! 

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more! 

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this 

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit 

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral 

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others 

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~ 

♡  yeonbin  ♡

sfw 

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT  

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe 

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course 

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha 

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends! 

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic! 

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it! 

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen! 

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks! 

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders! 

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah 

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations 

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll 

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it. 

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose. 

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too) 

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it? 

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight. 

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down 

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh 

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~ 

♡ taekook ♡

sfw 

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception! 

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute 

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe 

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL 

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh 

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!! 

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd 

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe  

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand! 

nsfw 

luxurious in this area tooooo 

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh 

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so! 

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh 

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh 

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd 

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~ 

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy 

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver. 

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that! 

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy! 

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~ 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[palmett-hoes]

wrote this at first to be a reply to this post by @annawrites but it got super long so i figured it would be better just to make it a standalone post

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it’s a great post about how neil probably has a perfectly functional knowledge of popular culture and how continuously representing him as totally ignorant of it isn’t a fair read of his character or circumstances. neil has incredible street smarts and that involves knowing how to blend in and disappear in a crowd. his knowledge of popular culture is probably eclectic and not very american, so he may not know all the pop culture touchstones that his teammates know, but he definitely knows stuff

meanwhile there are several foxes it would actually make much more sense to have extremely limited or just similarly patchy knowledge of mainstream pop culture

(i’m using “mainstream pop culture” here to refer to a combination of movies, tv shows, celebrities, video games, entertainment and communication technology, music, fashion, pastimes, books, etc. each one has it’s own specific considerations but all together if it was new and popular and timely, it’s pop culture)

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kevin, for one, i think definitely knows like, next to nothing, and i honestly think it’s weird that people decided neil was the “knows nothing about pop culture guy” rather than kevin. i mean, kevin was raised since childhood in an extremely insular and one-track-minded underground cult. he was literally raised under a rock! you think the ravens were taking the time to watch saturday morning cartoons and disney movies? absolutely not. like i truly do not believe that kevin has ever consumed media in his life. he does not know songs, movies, celebrities, video games, tv shows, nothing. and he also has absolutely no idea that he doesn’t know about these things. neil has a working knowledge of most things even if it has plenty of holes but he knows what the holes are. kevin genuinely does not know that the movie Titanic exists

(also i’m ragging a bit here but this is a genuine analysis and a fascinating way to view kevin’s character and i wish people took more time to think through and flesh out his influences and the effect they had on him)

---

nicky. son of a conservative christian pastor? his access to media was likely heavily censored to remove “sinful” and “ungodly” influences. the media he consumed probably had a heavy christian focus and there were probably tons of mainstream popular things he wasn’t allowed to even look at, like especially things that were maybe a little risqué or sexual, which a lot of 90s and 2000s pop culture was considered to be. i also wouldn’t be surprised if he went to a private christian school that would still keep his chances to access other influences limited even away from his parents’ immediate view. nicky grew up on christian rock and veggie tales. he was forbidden from going trick-or-treating because it was “satanic.” that vein. watch the movie Saved! (2004) to get a sense of what i’m picturing. obviously once he got away to germany he got the chance to branch out and experience a lot of things, but doing things as an adult is very different growing up with them as a child. i also think this feeds into like,, nicky’s enthusiasm and why he tries so hard to get everyone involved in things and get neil to hang out with him so much and it’s not because he pities neil for not knowing these things but rather that he himself is still enthralled by their novelty

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dan. but also renee, seth, andrew, and possibly aaron to varying lesser extents. these foxes all grew up poor, and access to pop culture is heavily tied to having money, especially in the technology boom of the 90s and 2000s that the foxes came of age in. it’s common for kids from low-income families to be “behind” on popular culture because engaging with it costs money

dan and seth we know grew up in poverty. yes people need entertainment but money considerations have to take priority so what they had access to was probably very touch and go. it’s hard to pin down anything for sure because it just comes down to what their guardians prioritized, but i can say that i doubt they had cable (and it’s possible they didn’t have tv) so their tv influences would be public broadcast rather than like,, disney channel and nickelodeon. dan especially, as someone from the rural poor in north dakota is the one most likely to be out of the loop of mainstream pop culture imo

.

renee’s mother is implied to have also been involved with renee’s gang which makes it really hard to pin things down. gangs and other forms of organized crime tend to have a profit motive but because it’s mostly off the books it’s just,,, different. they may had some money but it’s,,, complicated, and she was still living in an impoverished neighborhood. i really can’t make any guesses about it because i just don’t have any context for it, but i think it’s fair to say her media influences wouldn’t have been entirely mainstream pop culture. then of course she spends a year in juvy and two years in the foster care system, which definitely has very limited access to pop culture

.

andrew being in the foster care system means that his influences were constantly changing. he could have been in houses from a wide range of economic means, but regardless he probably wasn’t treated well or given gifts or access to new toys or anything that requires an additional fee or tool to access. stories from kids who lived in foster care often reveal that even very wealthy houses enforce extreme limitations on their foster kids. the idea that andrew had a foster sibling with a gameboy, an xbox and a tv in their room while andrew himself didn’t even have a bed,,, isn’t outside the realm of possibility. so, probably no video games or internet. limited choice in what movies or tv shows he could watch. social services are wildly underfunded so what he had access to in group homes and “at-risk youth groups” was probably pretty dated

.

we don’t know much about tilda, especially things like her job, but we know aaron grew up in san jose which is one of the most expensive cities/housing markets in the world. this means that they were probably either rich or very poor. personally, i think they were probably poor, which means aaron would have been subject to the same sorts of things as dan or seth in terms of spotty or inconsistent access to a lot of things in popular culture

---

so yea, ig just remember that each fox comes from different and complicated circumstances, that upper-middle-class pop culture experiences are not universal, and it’s weird to think that neil has absolutely no concept of pop culture at all while every other fox is apparently highly in tune with it and all have the same up-to-date experiences

[gritsandbrits]

So I ended up bored and with some free time the other day and I decided to try and help you out with one of OC universes since I’m really fond of all of them (especially since they tend to be even better than the official canon) by making a character reference for the Joraverse version of Alien Force, specifically one of a potential debut look for Kevin! I had a lot of fun making this, since it was actually really interesting speculating what he might look like in this alternate take where his original personality carried over into the time skip. 

Have a few design notes, fun facts, and general headcanons I have regarding this version of him:

He’s still got some muscle to him, but he’s also kinda malnourished due to having to survive mainly on energy absorption for the past five years (the Null Void doesn’t normally house human prisoners, so they probably don’t have much in the way of normal human food), so his stamina is unfortunately quite lacking compared to his strength. He can still pack one hell of a punch though.

The wristband on his arm is an emotional regulator given to more “uncooperative” prisoners that changes colors depending on his emotions; green signals that he’s in a neutral, possibly even positive state (well, as positive as you can get when you’re Kevin), yellow signals that he’s frustrated, annoyed, or agitated, and red signals that he’s pissed off and about to go feral. If it changes to red, the wristband will give Kevin a controlled shock so he won’t attack anyone, much to his chagrin. Unfortunately, it’ll also shock anyone who tries to take it off, himself included, so he still has yet to find a way to remove it.

The bandages are for his numerous injuries from various scuffles with other inmates as well training sessions. He got dumped there when he was eleven and has been there for five years, you think he wouldn’t get a little roughed up during his stay there?

His mask was based a bit on Slade’s from Teen Titans, and he’s wearing it so that he won’t be recognized. Kevin’s smarter than he looks, he knows full well that the second the wrong person recognizes him it’s a one-way ticket back to the Void.

Has a habit of occasionally assuming more animalistic positions like getting down and/or moving on all fours as well as yell and scream; even though he’s not a mutated alien monstrosity anymore and back to his normal form, old habits tend to die hard.

Filled to the brim with so much anger he makes Kevin 11,000 look calm and rational.

Hates Vilgax almost as much as Ben now for betraying him and leaving him behind when he escaped; the second he sees him, it’s on sight.

Viewed Kwarrel as a father figure even though he would never and was actually starting to calm down a bit with him around; however, after witnessing his death sacrificing himself so that he could escape, he ended up gaining a greater hatred for the world than ever before due to taking the one person he could ever say he truly cared about.

Has bad insomnia due to constant night terrors and bad dreams brought about by trauma; insists that it’s fine and he didn’t care much for sleeping anyway.

He views his relationship with Argit as more of a business relationship than anything; he does consider him somewhat of a friend but isn’t exactly the best at maintaining healthy relationships.

Still has his necklace and is wearing it under the straightjacket. He doesn’t know why, but for some reason he feels calmer (well, calm for Kevin standards, anyway) when he has it on. He doesn’t even remember who gave it to him, with the only hint he has being a small “Pro. P.D.” initial engraved into the bottom. (Oh worm, potential lore???)

He and Argit ended up escaping the Null Void via a dimension-hopping device Argit stole for the Plumbers; Argit tried to get him to stay with him and travel the galaxy swindling various species out of their money, but Kevin “convinced” (otherwise known as threatened) him to drop him off on Earth to “settle some unfinished business” (otherwise known as beating the crap out of Ben Tennyson)

Ends up making a deal with Team Tennyson that if he plays nice and helps them find Max, they won’t rat him out and turn him back into Plumber custody.

Still thinks that the idea of redemption is stupid, but perhaps he’ll change his mind on the subject in due time, possibly thanks to the weird alien lady he can’t help but feel strangely familiar with…

  I know this probably looks really bad, but I put a lot of hard work into it and hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it!

  My Thoughts: Anon i love this post sm!! In love with Kevin's new backstory and personality! It makes him so much more interesting than what we got!

[mittensmorgul]

aaaahahahahahhhhhhahahh the worst thing Sam ever said to dean. 9.13, The Purge:

Dean: About what you said the other day.

Sam: I thought it didn’t bother you.

Dean: You know Sam, I saved your hide back there. I saved your hide at that church — in the hospital. I may not think things all the way through but when I do, it’s because it’s the right thing. I’d do it again.

Sam: And that is the problem. You think you’re my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in and even when you mess up you think what you’re doing is worth it because you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing more good than bad... but you’re not. Kevin’s dead, Crowley’s in the wind, we’re no closer to beating this angel thing, please tell me, what is the upside to me being alive?

Dean: Are you kidding me? You and me, fighting the good fight together.

Sam: Just once be honest with me, you didn’t save me for me. You did it for you.

Dean: What are you talking about?

Sam: I was ready to die, I was ready. I should have died. But you, you didn’t want to be alone. That’s what this boils down to, you can’t stand the thought of being alone. I’ll give you this much, you are certainly willing to do the sacrifice, as long as you’re not the one being hurt.

Dean: Alright, you want to be honest, if the situation was reversed, and I was dying, you’d do the same thing.

Sam: No Dean, I wouldn’t. Same circumstances, I wouldn’t. I’m heading to bed.

(bolding mine, because we’re gonna talk about those words...)

The problem in the Winchester Codependency is this. We’ve talked about it for years-- the fact that yes, they’re brothers, but that Dean also still can’t help but feel “parental” toward Sam, because that’s the role he was forced into as long as he can remember. And as many glimpses of this as Sam has had, and as many small (and sometimes large) moments of insight into Dean, he still either refuses to understand this, or blocks it out, or assumes it’s all handled until the next time this issue rears its ugly head again and it’s like Sam developed amnesia again about why Dean defaults to the Bossy Parent role.

I mean, this is not to discount Dean’s own amnesia over the fact that Sam does NOT have the same hangups about feeling “parental” toward Dean in return, because to Dean the role of Brother and Parent are so tangled up together he can’t always tell what’s what. 

And Kevin... he’s not dead because of Sam-- even though he enjoys putting the blame for it on himself. He’s dead because Gadreel felt BETRAYED by Dean, even though he himself had been betrayed for the better part of the entire history of time... so like... there’s much bigger issues here, but Sam reduces them all down to himself. I mean, Dean also blames himself for everything a lot of the time, but not when it’s in the attempt to save the people he cares about.

The whole “we’ll always try to save each other” that is a BIG part of Dean’s personal definition of what it means to be family on a very basic level... Sam just basically stomped on that and told him it was worthless. And the painful irony is that by 10.03, Sam gets this. He finally put on his grownup pants and did something far more horrific than Dean asking an angel he thought he could trust (based on Cas’s word about Ezekiel being a good soldier, and that angel not completely lying about his identity) to save Sam’s life, and then Sam effectively being held hostage by that angel-- which directly hurt Cas and Dean both, as well. So like... at least Dean is trying to keep the bigger picture in mind here.

And Dean has already punished himself for this in direct ways that Sam has also watched first-hand. He’s expressed how he feels he’s poison and went off and took the Mark of Cain, effectively sacrificing himself to spare Sam and Cas and everyone else from Abaddon. So that bit Sam says there in the second bolded segment? Is potentially the worst thing he’d ever said to Dean up to that point. Because Dean himself has sacrificed more than almost everyone else on this show combined-- his own identity, his own happiness, everything he’s ever wanted in life since he was four years old, his own soul in exchange for Sam’s, and most horrifically his own LIFE in a future where he FINALLY had a chance to be free and live unburdened by mechanism that caused their repeated need to make these awful sacrifices in the first place. They’d finally knocked the monkey wrench out of the cosmic gears, unseated Chuck, and then... for some reason Dean thinks one more final big sacrifice for Sam is what “was supposed to” happen? NO. No, no, fuck that sideways with a container ship.

Yes, Sam repents of all of this in s10 and goes WAY over the top on his revenge mission, because he thinks Dean is dead and that some rando demon was just using his body... at the beginning he doesn’t think Dean CAN be saved. 10.03 is the beginning of Sam’s redemption from this.

And this is why 15.20 is not only implausible to me, but outright offensive. They both struggled horrifically with these things and would eventually forgive and overcome them, only to fall right back into it just in time for the finale.

Yes, Sam’s issues with bodily autonomy and possession throughout the series are at play here, too. And that only makes things worse. Dean will only truly begin to understand that after 13.23, when he will-- without hesitation-- once again make the sacrifice himself to save the people he cares about.

I understand both of their perspectives here, but heck it’s super hard not to feel angry and hurt by Sam’s words. I mean, HOW MANY TIMES has Dean been perfectly willing to be the sacrifice for Sam’s sake, and the ONE TIME he made a choice for Sam-- bearing in mind that Gadreel was also playing ALL of them, and using Dean’s face to secure the Yes from Sam-- Sam can’t let it go. I mean, I’ve written about the “who’s to blame for this” argument and how it just goes right back to the start of creation and puts it all on Chuck for locking up Amara. In this circumstance specifically, though, this is at least PARTLY Dean’s personal guilt over “failing” that first trial way back in 8.14. Sam was never the one who was supposed to “sacrifice” himself to close up Hell. Dean even argued with him that they would find another Hellhound to kill, and Sam busted out the Power of Positive Thinking BS about wanting to SURVIVE the trials when Dean was looking at them as a death sentence. Because they always WERE a death sentence, and no amount of “golly I’d really like to live anyway though” was gonna change that. The entire POINT of what Dean did was trying to CORRECT what he felt was a pointless sacrifice of Sam on the altar of saving everyone else.

So yeah, I hate this bit here. :’D

Because as I hinted at in the previous paragraph there... THIS WAS ALWAYS CHUCK’S STORY. That one brother would have to be sacrificed so the other could live. Because that’s the story of him and Amara. Only one of them could rule over creation. Only Chuck could remain free to create the universe he wanted unhindered, and the story of his universe as told and retold through his own creations was his own self-justification for that original crime. And the final episode of Supernatural gave him exactly that, in the stupidest possible way. It was “we can’t have nice things or a happy life, only one’s death so the other can be free.” The irony was that they weren’t truly free. Dean was just ~dead~ and alone and never sought out what he never got to have in life. Sam abandoned everything he’d grown to know about himself to live a half-life without any real satisfaction, until he finally died, too. It’s just... depressing AF. And it all feels rooted in Chuck’s basic plot rather than truly winning for Free Will and humanity.

I typed on this so long that 9.14 ended, with Kevin’s admonition to them both that they stop behaving like that, since he’d ben watching them be petty from the veil for months. Dean was ready to talk to Sam, but Sam had already turned his back and walked away, completely convinced of his own righteousness in this matter. And at this point in the series I just kinda want to yell at him... >.>