#and he’s actually said that exact thing before

[avatar-anna]

please please pleeeeeease more of assistant×harry!! 🥺

Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist

August 2013

In just a year of being Harry Styles’ assistant, Y/n had seen a lot, experienced a lot, and learned to expect just about anything, which was why her head began to throb before they even touched down in Las Vegas.

“Here,” a voice said from above her. Y/n was supposed to be answering emails and prepping for all the appearances Harry was supposed to make before the jet landed, but she decided to close her eyes. Just for a few minutes. Not that anyone would’ve noticed, anyway. The boys were all hanging out in the back of the plane, and Natalie, Zayn’s assistant, was watching the boys to make sure they didn’t get into too much trouble. All the assistants took turns when the boys of One Direction were in a confined space together; tag teaming just seemed the fairest deal.

When she peeked an eye open, though, she was surprised to see Harry standing beside her seat, a mug in his outstretched hand. Smiling, she took it, watching through tired eyes as he sat down across from her. He was in a red flannel shirt, though it was hardly buttoned, and the black skinny jeans he’d taken to wearing almost the entire tour. He had multiple pairs, all the same exact brand and style, just in case one ripped. Y/n would know. She had to race all over Manhattan when that very nightmare happened and Harry didn’t have any backups. Now there were at least four in his suitcase at all times. And an extra one in her backpack just to be safe. Harry swore the bag that followed her everywhere was made of magic because her whole life—and his—was nearly placed in there. But Y/n knew it wasn’t magic, she was just prepared for everything.

“I told the boys we’d be on our best behavior while we’re here. Just for you,” Harry said, giving Y/n his most innocent grin.

She’d seen that grin too many times to believe him, but the sentiment was nice. He and the boys were never menaces to her or the other assistants per day, but their antics did make her life more difficult depending on what they got up to. “That’s sweet of you.”

“I’m a sweet guy,” Harry said with a grin. Then with a nod toward Y/n’s phone, he asked, “Who’re you texting over there?”

“I’m not texting anyone. I’m sending emails,” she said.

“What? Even while we’re in the air?” he asked incredulously. “Do you ever not work?”

Y/n grinned. “Of course.”

“Well then put the phone down and talk to me. I feel like I've known you forever but I don't actually know you” Harry said, and it sounded like he was almost whining.

Y/n looked up from her phone. Harry’s eyes were pleading as he leaned forward in his seat. She was honestly a little surprised that he was so insistent that she talk to him. He was always nice of course, and they’d had brief conversations that didn’t involve work here and there, but Harry didn’t know much about Y/n personally. She kept her personal life private for the most part, for no other reason than she liked to keep things professional while she was working.

Setting her phone down, Y/n crossed her leg over the other and looked at Harry expectantly. "Alright. What would you like to know?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Y/n choked on the tea Harry had given her. "That's the question you want to start with?"

Harry shrugged before leaning in playfully. "Are you avoiding the question?"

"No. To both questions," she answered honestly.

"Hm."

"Hm? What's that supposed to mean?" Y/n asked. She thought they were having a lighthearted conversation but Harry looked contemplative.

"Why not?" he asked, not answering her question.

Y/n ran a tired hand over her face. "This is starting to feel like an interrogation, Mr. Styles."

"Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to pry," he said, leaning back in his seat. The playful gleam in his green eyes told Y/n differently, though. "I just feel like you know a lot of intimate details about my life, and all I know is that you like cinnamon bagels and have an affinity for wearing black. And you always manage to wake up before I do, which just seems outrageous to me sometimes."

Y/n pondered what he said and supposed he had a point. She did know a lot about Harry's relationships, or the intimate details of his life he referred to based on his line of questioning. But it was her job to know. She made sure he was up and ready each day, she ensured that no one night stands overstayed their welcome or helped themselves to his clothes after he was gone; she was privy to his PR dates and the ones he wanted no one else to know about. Their... relationship was one sided, and Y/n didn't fault him for his curiosity.

"You know how I take my tea, and that I drink tea at all," she finally said, her voice light.

Harry smiled, as if he'd been waiting to engage in whatever game he'd been trying to play with her since he sat down across from her. "I noticed you reach for the tea packets whenever we fly."

"It relaxes me," Y/n admitted.

"Do you not like flying?"

Y/n shrugged, trying to act more casual than she felt. "It's mostly the takeoff and landing. I don't know it just...freaks me out a little. All the jostling and pressure and whatnot."

"You picked a strange job if you don't like to fly, I'm afraid," Harry said.

"Hence the herbal tea. I'd take something a little stronger if I didn't think you boys would do something the minute my eyes were closed."

"We wouldn't—I would never—You can take a nap around us, Y/n," Harry said, frowning as if he were truly offended by what she said. "I know we like to pull pranks or whatever, but we wouldn't. I wouldn't let them do that to you."

His sincerity was sweet, his gaze hard and imploring. Y/n didn't mean for their conversation to turn down this route but somehow it did, and she couldn't help but notice how angular Harry's features were when he looked at her like that. Protective.

Something light and airy unfurled in her belly that she pointedly ignored.

"I was mostly kidding, but thank you."

And just like that, the hard look was gone, the tense fog lifted. Harry grinned and reached in his back pocket, pulling out a deck of cards. “Play with me?”

“You don’t want to play with the boys?” Y/n asked, genuinely curious.

“I need to practice for this weekend, and they’re not good enough competition.”

“Oh, and I am?” she said. Y/n knew how to play cards, but she wasn’t any kind of pro.

"We're about to find out."

Harry set the cards on the table between them and split the deck to shuffle them. Y/n watched his hands as the cards shuffled between his long, nimble fingers. There were calluses on them now from learning to play the guitar. He was a couple months in, and he was already pretty good. Harry often played the new songs or chords he learned for her, eager to show his progress and knowing she wouldn’t judge him when his fingers slipped from time to time.

When he finally stopped, Y/n realized she’d been openly staring at his hands for a little too long. She snapped her head up, thankful that Harry hadn’t caught her staring. Shuffling around in her seat, she asked, “What are we playing?”

*.*

Later that night, Y/n was alone in her hotel room. One Direction’s performance in Las Vegas went off without a hitch, and the boys had hit the Strip to celebrate. Harry insisted she join them, promising a night she would never forget, but she declined. She had plans of her own tonight.

Finishing the last touches on her hair and giving herself one last check in the mirror, Y/n grabbed her keys and her purse. A knock on the door sounded, and thinking it was Natalie, Y/n rushed to open it. When she did, her eyes widened.

“Mr. Styles? What are you doing here?”

Harry was in fact standing on the other side of her door, a bottle of champagne in one hand and the same deck of cards they’d played with on the plane in the other. They'd played until it was time for landing. Y/n had a large pile of candy by the end of it—Harry had wanted to play with real money but Y/n joked she couldn't afford to play real poker with him. And as the plane started to descend, Harry switched seats so that he was beside her, offered his hand for her to squeeze until the plane finally touched down. It had been the most tension-free landing of the tour for Y/n, and though neither of them said anything about it, Harry knew she was grateful for him being there.

He looked sheepish now as he took her in, the realization that she was on her way out striking him as he saw her clothes—a pair of jeans and a black button down top that was only buttoned in the middle, and black boots to match.

“Sorry, I wasn’t feeling up for going out tonight, so I came down here to—but of course you have plans. It’s your night off, you’re allowed to—”

“Is everything okay, Mr. Styles?” you asked with a furrowed brow. “Did you need me to call a doctor? Run down to the pharmacy? I can—”

“No, I…I came here to—to play cards again, but if you already have plans I won’t get in your way.”

Y/n’s head tilted to the side, partly confused and partly endeared. Harry was a kind boss, but he’d never come to her hotel room to hang out before, especially when parties and liquor were guaranteed elsewhere. The time she spent with him was strictly professional.

“Natalie and I had planned to go out tonight,” she said, looking down at her purse.

Y/n didn’t often go out while on tour, but Natalie knew someone that could get them into some exclusive rooftop bar with discounted drinks. She hadn’t had a night off in a while and thought it would be a fun and responsible way to spend her time in Vegas. But now that Harry was here…

“I can cancel—”

“Don’t you dare,” Harry said, stepping away from the door. His eyes trailing up and down her body in a way that didn’t feel entirely professional. A look Y/n chose to ignore. “I should’ve asked you earlier.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you could always come with us,” Y/n said.

She wasn’t sure how Natalie would feel about that. Her friend had made it clear that she wanted a night away from the boys of One Direction so she could let loose a little. But she didn’t want to just leave Harry on her doorstep.

“No, no, you go. I’m not in a partying mood tonight,” Harry said, waving Y/n off.

“If you’re sure,” she said.

“I’m sure.”

“Next time, then,” she offered.

Harry smiled. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Then, before she could say anything else, Harry fished his wallet out of his back pocket. He pulled out a couple bills and handed them to her. Y/n tried to protest, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, making sure he watched her put the money in her purse. “And take my driver too. There’s a lot of creeps out there. Dominic will take good care of you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles,” Y/n said graciously.

“No problem, Y/n, and for the last time, it’s Harry.”

Y/n grinned as she let the door shut behind her. “Whatever you say, Mr. Styles.”

*.*

Y/n trudged through the halls of the lavish hotel, her boots shuffling tiredly across the carpet. She’d had a good night, but when Natalie and a group they’d met at the bar wanted to move onto a club, Y/n decided it was time to go. She had her fun, but she wasn’t the clubbing type, and she had to be up early the next morning.

And she couldn’t help but think about Harry sitting around in his hotel room all alone. She spent nearly every waking moment with him, and yet on her night off, she felt the need to go see him, be with him. Y/n enjoyed hanging out with Harry on the plane to Vegas. It had been the first time they’d interacted with each other in a non-professional way. He told her goofy jokes and playfully tried to peek at her cards, a look of genuine surprise when she beat him on more than one occasion.

For a moment, Y/n had actually forgotten that he wasn’t her boss and that she wasn’t his assistant. For a moment, they were just two friends going on a trip somewhere.

And for whatever reason, Y/n wanted to revisit that moment. She bypassed her floor’s button on the elevator, opting to press the one a few levels up from hers. The hall was quiet, which made sense if the other boys were still out. Harry told Y/n earlier that he wanted a quiet night in, but as she approached his door, she heard music and muffled voices from the other side. She had his extra key and would’ve been able to enter no problem, but when she made it to the double doors of Harry’s suite, she elected to knock. Maybe she should’ve left when she realized he had company, but she stayed, eager to see him for some reason.

It took a minute or two for someone to answer. With the music so loud, Y/n wasn’t surprised no one could hear her knock. She nearly gave up after knocking a third time, the door finally opened.

“Can I help you?”

It was a young man. A handsome young man with short brown hair and freckles over his nose and a deep skin tone. His eyes looked droopy, like he’d woken up just to answer the door. Or had recently smoked a joint. The latter was more likely.

“I’m Mr. Styles’ assistant. I just thought I would check in. He has an early morning tomorrow.”

“Oh. Um…He’s…busy?” the man said, clearly not wanting the fun to stop. “Should I get him for you?”

Y/n had never been in this predicament before. Sure, she knew Harry occasionally liked to invite someone into his hotel room for a night of fun, and this wasn’t the first time she’d found another boy keeping him company in this way. The first time that happened, Harry wouldn’t meet her eye for a whole day, but she never judged him for it, and she never said a word of it to him or anyone else. That was his personal business, not hers.

So the boy wasn’t what caught her off guard. It was that he was awake. Y/n always interacted with Harry’s one, sometimes two, night stands the morning after, equipped with a pen and an NDA, and possibly a sharp wit, depending on how reluctant the individual was to leave. But she’d never been in this position before, in the middle of it. She felt embarrassed, at a loss for words.

“N—No,” she finally said. “He just told me he wasn’t feeling well earlier. I thought I’d check on him before heading to bed, but…it seems like he’s feeling better.”

That’s and understatement, Y/n thought. She felt disappointed for some reason. She knew she shouldn’t have, but she really thought Harry would want to hang out, that he would somehow be waiting for her to come back, which was stupid. He had no reason to.

Y/n finally started to shuffle away, leaving Harry and his companion to his own devices. The door shut after the young man gave her a small smile and a wave, leaving her alone in an all too quiet hallway, the sounds of their voices muffled by the thin walls.

Sleep was in order. She knew that she was probably having an off day. Too much traveling, no doubt. Harry wasn’t her friend. She was his assistant, hired by his management team to make sure his every need and whim was met and sought to. Tomorrow she would wake up and remember that.

*.*

The next morning when Y/n stepped onto the plane, Harry was already seated in her little corner of the jet, a deck of cards, two steaming mugs, a multitude of snacks, and a big blanket were waiting. He didn't say anything about last night, so she didn't either. Not a word was said at all during takeoff, Harry merely offered his hand again, and when the plane was leveled in the air, he took out the deck of cards.

"Up for another round? This time Oreos are on the line so I'm less inclined to lose."

After that, plane rides weren't so bad anymore.

[lfghughes]

Won't Do It Again pt.2

Weeks had passed and you hadn’t seen Jack. Each day was different, some days you were mad and other days you were anxious about how this was somehow your fault. Other days you barely thought about him at all. But mostly you thought about how it was your fault and you always had a weird pit in your stomach. Maybe you should just text him and see where you two stood. Yeah, he didn’t want a relationship clearly but even just having him the way you did have him was enough. 

When you heard the buzzing on your phone, your heart skipped a beat. Somehow your brain was programmed to always think it was Jack. But a confused look grew on your face when you saw the notification and it was a dm on instagram from…Nico? You clicked open the message and for some reason your heart started beating just as fast as it was before. ‘Hey was just wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime?’

He was just being nice clearly but Jacks words from the other night rang back in your mind. ‘Yeah, of course!! Just pick a time and place’ and well that’s how you ended up at a random bar in Hoboken with Nico. As you sat there with the captain of the hockey team, you had never felt more free in your life. As much as you liked Jack you always felt like you could say the wrong thing and he would end up thinking you’re weird. 

Meanwhile with Nico it was like you could be as weird as you liked and he seemed to match that same energy. “Tonight was so much fun. Hopefully we can do this again soon?” Nico said with that cute boyish smile. And those words were the exact reason that over the next couple of weeks you both had hung out multiple times. 

Of course you knew that eventually you and Jack would end up in the same room together. They were teammates and close friends so it was only a matter of time. One of the nights Nico asked you to hang out a lot of the boys and girls they were either dating or hanging out with went out too. It was not shocking to anyone that Jack was there. You spent a majority of the night talking to Nico and it was pretty clear you two were growing closer and closer. 

The night actually wasn’t too bad at all and by the end of it you were bummed it was time to go home. Nico dropped you off and you had almost considered inviting him in for a bit but you changed your mind, not wanting to rush anything yet. You liked the pace you were going at and you knew that you were still getting your head straight after the whole secret Jack thing. When you got inside your place your phone started vibrating and your heart stopped when you saw the name.

“Hey?” You said onto your side of the phone. “I wish you had invited me over.” And just like that you were melting. But the problem was it was Jack on the other side of the phone and you shouldn’t be reacting like this. “Jack…” You whispered into the phone. “Please? I miss you.”

Next thing you knew Jack was at your place and the past few weeks were quickly forgotten when his lips attached to yours right away. How could you think about all his wrongs and everything else that had happened when he was kissing you like this. “I missed you, baby.” And just like that you two were slipping into your room and back into your bad habits.

[youwerethedefeated]

I honestly don't get it when people say Hinata has to "beg" for tosses from Kageyama - as if he's constantly being denied when that happens, what, twice in the whole series?

Like, the first time doesn't even count because they don't know each other. It's literally the very first arc of the story and it gets solved in a couple episodes. The one other time Kageyama ever refuses to toss to Hinata is when they're both working individually to improve their quick, and it's less of a "You don't deserve my toss" and more of a "I'm still perfecting it so just wait"

(And even before that, right when they get into their big fight, Kageyama still spends a long time tossing to Hinata even though it's obviously not working. He said "I won't toss to someone I know will miss" at the training camp, but as soon as they're back in Karasuno he gives Hinata a chance anyway.)

Kageyama may put up a tough front - "I'll toss to you if your bumps are good enough " - but he doesn't actually deprive Hinata of tosses. In fact, we see them training together constantly, even outside of club hours. I don't get how anyone thinks he'd ever deny Hinata, the one person who matches his hunger for volleyball, when he used to spend so much time training on his own.

To be fully honest, I don't think he can deny Hinata anything - multiple times Kageyama sends him the ball without meaning to. Even when he knows the timing isn't right. Even when Hinata is not there.

He tosses to Hinata at the most critical moment of every game, like the final point of both matches against Seijoh: even though they failed the first time, kageyama still puts the ball up for Hinata again, in the exact same conditions, trusting that they've both evolved enough to be able to overcome that triple block this time.

And then again during the Dumpster Battle, when Nekoma has Hinata completely shut down, Kageyama also feels caged in. Still, he doesn't stop tossing to Hinata like Kenma predicts, which would be the most logical thing to do. Instead he finds a way to let Hinata fly higher, to break out of the cage. In a match with no rematch, at the national stage, Kageyama insists on trying something completely new, something they'd never trained before, an incredibly risky move, just because he's not willing to give up on Hinata. And he puts the ball up again and again even though Hinata hits it clumsily the first time, until it works.

Tldr; he may put up a tough front, but Kageyama still gives Hinata all the tosses he could possibly want, and just the way he wants them.

[oldmanjenkins985]

TW for pedophila since I mention it very briefly at one point I would like to clarify, with all the Tessa age shit that's been going on, that my intent with this was not to prove that Tessa is an adult so she can go on to be sexualized and shit like that. My intent was to prove it was ambigious by showing all the evidence is circumstantial with explanations that both sides could use. And if you boil down *any* character, ambigious age or not, to sexualizing them, that's a completely different issue and one that very much matters. I very much do not care for that stuff, and yes I did have a crush on Tessa once. I was 17 at the time though, meaning that even if she was as young 15 that'd only be a 2 year age gap, so don't you *dare* try and accuse me of being a fuckin' weirdo or anything. I've moved on to other characters now, that being N and Uzi.

Now then, to go along with that, anyone who is uncomfortable with explicit remarks made towards Tessa or Flesha are *completely* allowed to do that regardless of her age. Whether in ambiguity or if she eventually gets confirmed to be an adult, you are *allowed* to be uncomfortable with that. You're allowed to do that with 40 year olds even.

A lot of you who were saying constantly that Tessa is a minor as if it was canon are yourselves minors. So I completely understand why you'd feel this way. The two examples I can think of are @/nuvimuvi and @/kittydragondraws (Don't wanna ping cause I don't wanna bother you with this crap). Your feelings on this are valid and there's no need for you to say Tessa is a minor as if it's confirmed canon when it's not and even one of the people in the Glitch Inn can't give a definitive answer. I don't care that he's not the end all be all, if he has just as much info as the rest of us then why would he come to the conclusion it's ambigious if he could look and see she's "clearly" a minor?

So basically: You're allowed to headcanon Tessa as a minor and be uncomfortable with explicit content surrounding her and Flesha, but that does not mean Tessa is canonically a minor and that people are pedos for saying stuff like that.

Oh, one more thing since we're here. I wanna touch on the Bite Me music video render to clear things up.

So, I've seen a lot of people saying this isn't a "sexy" pose (sorry for lack of better word), but it just...is. And no, that doesn't mean they're sexualizing Flesha, I'll get to that in a moment.

So if you just look up "sexy lean back sitting" on google, you'll find a ton of pictures of people posed extremely similar to Cyn. I'm also pretty certain I've seen pin-up drawings of when in this pose. And one final example: Widowmaker from Overwatch. *The* character who's sexualization is a big part of her design. Her sitting emote is this exact pose. And for as long as I've known this is just *the* sexy sitting pose for women. I don't know where I got that from, just that it's been in my brain for years now.

Now then, let's get back to what I said earlier about this not necessarily meaning it's meant to be sexual. I just went over how it is clearly sexual, so why the fuck am I saying it's possibly not? Very simple, it could be a joke. I've done the "Sexy pose" as a joke for years now. Even when I was 16, 17, hell even maybe as far back as 15, I've done this *exact* pose as a joke. I'm a man, so a pose like this isn't the "sexy" pose most would think of for males and that's why it worked as a joke because it was like "oh, I'm so girly" Now that doesn't mean you *have* to be a man to make it ironic and funny rather than actually sexualizing. You can just be a girl or say...an eldritch horror wearing a girl's skin. Something that horrid looking could be seen as funny when doing a pose like this since it's not exactly something you expect to see. And an even further way to say it isn't sexual: It just...might not be intended that way. It could very well just be how they had her sit. Like I said before, this is *the* go to sexy pose for women, but that doesn't mean every woman sitting like this is intending for that to be how she's percieved. They could just be...sitting.

In conclusion of that, yes this is a sexy pose, stop saying it isn't, but that doesn't mean the intent is that Flesha is supposed to be attractive. It could very easily be a joke or have no intent behind it and that's it. So once again, like most stuff surrounding this, it's completely up to the viewer to interpret it as it's ambigious.

[fallbhind]

DON'T BE A LOSER.

WARNINGS ✶ suggestive. mentions of drinking. implied drinking. loser!chris. chris gets a boner, only mentions it a few times. some jock named josh dragged reader over to a group of peope (not forcefully). ⭒ @55sturn for their version of loser!chris, as well as the original idea.

you couldn't fathom the fact your friend couldn't come to a fraternity party, she'd always went to the other ones, so you didn't understand why she couldn't come to this one, what was so different? sure, you could talk to literally anyone, practically everyone was there, but it wouldn't be the same. you found yourself plopping down on a couch, without acknowledging the awkward looking boy beside you as you took sips out of your most likely alcoholic punch beverage.

the boy shifted away from you, which of course, it kinda offended you. being the popular girl and all, most boys wouldn't shy away from you, gosh—he really was a loser. the awkward boy was wearing black dirty converses, jeans that had holes at the knee caps, and an overly big hoodie, the seam at the arm holes falling apart from how much he'd chewed at it, mostly during moments of distress or nervousness.

he wasn't your typical boy you'd hang out with, but there’s no harm in socializing with different people, instead of straight jocks. "hi." you blurted out, brushing off your skirt.

"hello." he mumbled, his knees pulled to his chest (take note of the loser behavior). "i'm—" he took a gentle breath before continuing, "—i'm chris." he picked at the torn up seams were his arm holes were, making the seams messier than before.

chris shifted his legs further away from you, being this close in proximity to a girl made him oh so nervous. his heart was practically pounding out of his chest as he let his curly-ish hair fall back in his face. worst of all? he felt himself slowly tighten from the short skirt you were wearing, along with that oh so pretty pink varsity shirt you was wearing (so he's a bit of a perv to!).

he knew later that night he'd be back home, searching up anything he could find about you, because he was just an awkward little loser. he'd probably try the basics first, snapchat. if not there? maybe he'd venture onto insta and x to find you. maybe even shoot his shot and get risky by sending a dm. it wouldn't necessarily be the first time he went all staked mode for a girl, he was just a loser like that. maybe his brain might need some re-wiring, but save that for later!

"nice to meet you chris." you said gently, maybe just a little (a lot) bit giddy that he said something back to you. if being all honest, you thought he was going to ignore you, he didn't have a big following group, nor did he follow a certain group he followed, he was in his own bubble, we’re he minded his own business and didn't converse himself around pretty looking girls.

he nodded nervously, "you too— uh, kid." chris' words came out awkwardly, almost sounded like he forced them out as he gripped his jeans, his hands balling into fists as his hands slowly became more clammy. and the fact you knew he was getting clammy made him ten times just as nervous, he really, really wanted to just crawl in a hole and never leave because a girl never made him feel the things he was feeling in the exact moment. his mouth was watering faster then he could swallow when you tilted your head in confusion.

"kid?" you asked voice laced with confusion, "i've been called all kinds of names but never kid." you started to ramble off about all the pet names you'd been called by new people, from going to sweetheart all the way to an actual animal name. but there was on that stuck out the most, seemed right for you. puppy. it fit you, in a sense. wether it ranged from your sense of style to your personality, it suit you. weirdly enough. "but anyways—" you huffed, "that's enough about me. tell me about yourself."

as if the sight of you wasn't enough to give him a boner, you asked him about himself. as a person, him, what he does— who he was. you were likely going to be the cause of his death. he shifted in his seat slightly, "well— uh." he stuttered over his words, fingers going to push his hair out his face to get a better looking at you as your lips pressed against the red-solo cup, taking a sip of the punch, which had to have been spiked, you'd never felt so dizzy, it could've been. "i have two brothers, triplets, actually." he whispered, "we kinda do our own thing."

you chewed endlessly at your raw, lip-gloss covered lips, listening to him explain, which really put him on spot, nobody ever really just sat and listen to him before, made him feel all giddy. you nodded along with every word, your eye's dilating over him. "nice." you whispered, watching chris' every move.

it was bound to be a long, akward night if you kept asking questions like that. he fell quiet, not sure what else to say, after that, so he just nodded slowly, hoping you'd say something.

after a few minutes of waiting, his fears were definitely confirmed. a jock, josh, walked up to you, "baby c'mon let's go." you nodded, standing up, brushing off your skirt as you walked with the jock. josh gave a gentle pat on your ass, you letting put a giggle-like squeal as you slapped his arm playfully. chris shook his head, knowing damn well it was to good to be true that a pretty girl would be single and not taken by a football player. chris watched you converse with a group of sorority girls, probably talking about boys, that weren't close to him.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 16: Beren, Luthien, and the fourth wall,

through which Pengolodh needs to be punched a little. Or at least frightened.

So… This chapter is a lot.

First we get a remainder that we are in a narrative frame: there are many stories but this one is the best. So I, Pengolodh, will make sure it sounds proper.

Also, why is the Lay of Leithian… I thought "Leithian" was some variant of Luthien, but it's "Release from Bondage". What. Why. I guess it's that one scene where she takes Sauron's island?

Before I proceed: I wanted to say that writing a love story dedicated to your wife and overloading it with meanings is an absolutely valid thing to do. And beautiful.

Yes, this is an opinion I will stick with. No, it doesn't mean that I think everything in B&L is coherent or well-written. Most is, but there are places that stick out.

So we start with Beren. He lives with his fatherr and a band of outlaws and… they worship a (lake? river? translation unclear.) because Melian had hallowed it.

They are so competent that Morgoth tells Sauron (his 2nd in command) to kill them all.

Again we have a character with unprocessed grief (nor surprising, as he doesn't know whether his wife is alive or dead) and it is the entry point for the forces of evil. So, Gorlim. Sauron pulls the Dune-like thing on him. I wonder which was first. Jirt didn't like Dune, but had read it.

Beren sees Gorlim's ghost, in the (hallowed?) water, which is an interesting place for a ghost to appear. good for him I guess?

What is the thing with hands? Beren attacks the orcs and grabs his dead father's hand with the ring of Barahir. Unclear which hand was that. Also, he becomes vegan.

Beren is so competent that he gets a "wanted" poster Morgoth offers a prize for his head. As high as for Fingon. OK, so Morgoth gives money for killing important people? Or at least offers money? We aren't told if he ever actually paid anyone. But the orcs still prefer to run away, so he sends Sauron + a whole army and his werewolves.

How competent can one guy be?

Also, we get an explanation of what werewolves are. Terrible ghosts imprisoned in wolves' bodies and posessing them. This chapter has more on werewolves then the whole rest of the book.

So, Beren has to evacuate through Spider-land. Which he manages to do. (Seriously, how many Fate Points does this guy have?)

Luthien is so beautiful that he falls in love instantly. I would be more comfortable if Tolkien didn't show falling in love as simultanously a) totally uncontroleable result of beauty, and b) impossible to not turn into action. But Beren is a good guy so he is polite, he just admires her and stuff.

Also, she's got the exact same poetic colors of hair and eyes as Elrond, which makes sense. Or, more precisely, Elrond as her.

Fate this, fate that, I get the point but don't like the language.

Beren gets kind of sick, because he has to gain more Fate Points pays for the great destiny he is going to get.

I am not going to repeat that part I complained about already. Let's just say there's a lot of "she/they were the most X of everyone in all times" and this sounds, well, poetic but not factual. (Also, they are "the most happy anyone has ever been". )

Daeron snitches on Luthien (part 1). Thingol is sad and confused and asks questions. Beren says "I found what I didn't seek, but as I found it I will never give it up" and that is a really good line.

Thingol, of all people, complains of having made a hasty oath. :D

Beren would take death before dishonor. Also shows Finrod's ring and Thingol isn't very impressed. (I think this may be used as a counterargument to "Finrod should have written to Thingol" — Beren has already shown the credentials he could get from Finrod. What additional things could Finrod tell Thingol?)

We get a description of the ring of Barahir.

Melian tries to calm het husband down, but he is upset and resentful at Beren. And he says that he desires the Silmaril (does he? Did he desire it before he said that? Unclear)

At least Thingol says that with the Silmaril he will give Luthien to Beren if she will want to, which is very proper of him. Also he mentions the "fate of Ards is tied to the Silmarils" thing. Everyone realizes that he just wants Beren dead (so I guess it is a fact?)

Beren is very chill. He says "bye" to Luthien, bows. And then he moves the guards and just walks away ignoring them which is an awesome way of leaving.

Melian is worried, Thingol says that Beren will not return, and if he (thingol) believed that there is any chance of success for him, he would kill Beren, promise or not.

We have a lot of "Lay of Laithian says" so I guess this is suposed to be a later edition... I should do a reread (well, first read tbh) on the Lay one day. But it's hard to read with focus.

Beren goes to Nargothrond, and (so that the guards don't shoot him) yells often that he is Barahir's son. Which must have looked quite funny.

Also, Turgon isn't the only one with "shoot the intruders" policy, but Finrod's one seems less strict.

Finrod talks with Beren behind closed doors (I think it's because C&C. Finrod isn't naive, he's just… idk. Anyway this is a smart move.) Also he is surprised and sad and heavy-hearted because he realizes he's going to have to die. At leats he doesn't try to weasel out of his fate.

Also, Finrod says a lot of interesting / strange things:

the Oath is on again. So, we are in the "oath is an active thing" situation. Probably.

there is a "curse of hatered" on the Silmarils. (Huh??? Who cursed them? I don't remember Fefe cursing the jewels, he cursed many other things…)

who speaks their name with greed, awakens poweerful forces (WHAT? So… Thingol is greedy about the jewel? And it triggers the Oath? Or what? that's… a whole new conceptual area to explore)

the Feanorians would rather destroy all lands then let anyone else have a Silmaril (I'm not sure how true this is but him saying this tells us something about C&C)

the Oath "rules over the princes of Noldor" (What. Finrod, my guy, you are a Noldorin prince too. Also, what. What about their free will?)

C&C are a problem but Finrod won't break his word to Barahir, so we all are deep in trouble

Finrod makes a speech, expects support from his people. It's not said what kind of support. He doesn't say he is going to attack Angband directly.

Celegorm takes out his sword and quotes the Oath. That's pretty metal, but also definitely not good. Curufin is apparently more polite now (iirc he was brash some chapters earlier, I guess he learned. Or it was Celegorm too?). Citizens of Nargothrond are scared of war, they get sneaky, start using poison and generally turn Nor Great from this time on. Huh.

The Doom of Mandos awakes in C&C's hearts and gives them evil thoughts. This is a very close paraphrase. Excuse me, what? Pengolodh, what have you been drinking? something made by Namo (or one of his Maiar, which I find more likely, but anyway) makes them think evil things? Go home and check your phrasing, seriously. This sounds so off. Unless it's the translation again?

Finrod appeals to pity and gets ten guys to follow him. I agree that this speech of him doesn't sound great and … I think he just feels sad and abandoned and does some emotional blackmailing here. and Finrod is awesome but not so awesome to never do anything wrong. It's not terrible, but, yes, I think he would be better without it.

[Which implies that if it was just him and Beren, Sauron would not try to kill Beren earlier. Which… makes some sense. When you have 12 prisoners, killing one as an example isn't a lot. when you have just two, you need to use subtler means of persuasion. (sorry for a bit of Sauron PoV ;) )]

Still, Edrahil is pretty cool here. I like him. Yes, those two opinions can coexist and it is an important point.

The song duel. Finrod picks "Of secrets kept," as his starting line, which makes sense in the context (keeping their disguise) but also, considering what kind of secret had Finrod been keeping (mostly from Thingol, who is btw associated with this quest) for many, many years, I would say it does have a weak point.

So it leads to "In Valinor, the red blood flowing" and we're out.

Luthien feels that things are bad and asks mom and mom tells her that Beren is captured by Sauron. Which she knows. Because she's a Maia, probably? But still, to see into Sauron's dungeons is quite an achievement. Maybe fate was a factor too.

Huan! The dog that is under the Doom of the Noldor! It seems as if this was the reason he later dies at all, that without the Doom thing Huan would be immortal. What even is he. [A lesser Maia. I don't care it's no longer canon, it makes the most sense.]

Also, he never sleeps, his sight and smell can't be deceived and he is invulnerable to magic.

C&C capture Luthien and we have their reasoning explained. So, C&C's logic as told by the narrative:

Finrod and Beren are as good as dead now

so let's let Finrod die

also let's force Thingol to let Tyelko marry Luthien

we will be the most powerful princes of the Noldor

the Silmarils, yea, so let's wait. first we will rule all the Elven kingdoms and then we can work on reclaiming the Silmarils.

No, it doesn't mean that someone else may take them!

Yes, it is explicitely about political power. (But also, Luthien pretty and Celegorm is into her.)

Also, Huan (like Celegorm) understands all creatures.

Finrod dies. Pengolodh edits it heavily. Seriously, I hereby accept this fic as my canon for what finrod said, because the book is lying. Oh wait, no. It is the translation. In the Polish version Finrod literally says "it will be many ages before the Noldor see me" and he says it without "probably" or anything, he says it like a foresight. And we know it is not true, because he got reembodied very quickly.

The original is not that bad. Anyway, it is lacking. It reads like something Celegorm would say in the situation (no offense to Celegorm who had actually been in this situation in early drafts).

[HC time: I imagine Pengolodh as very much the kind of guy to get offended by and cut out anything that looks too strange and … I don't know how to call it. Difficult? He's not terrible, but very insecure after returning from the Exile. He really doesn't want to offend the Valar again and isn't taking the best approach to it.]

And, speaking of Pengolodh and his additions, "so died Finrod, the most beloved descendant of Finwe". Beloved by whom? Certainly not by Finwe. Maybe by the people, but it does depend on which people exactly. Most beloved on the average? Most beloved by Pengolodh?

Pengolodh, my guy, I actually agree with you that Finrod is the loveliest Finwean, but please, could you refrain from using "loved / beloved" and comparisions?

Anyway, song-rescue. This is something even Pengolodh can't mess up describing. Also, Valacirca (Sickle of the Valar, that is: the Big Dipper) mentioned, and … it's a sign of Morgoth's fall? I thought this one was a threat to him. (Yes, let me remind you: there is not one, but two different seven(ish)-star constellations that Varda put in the sky specifically as a threat to Melkor. Also, of all the weapons, a sickle.)

Sauron seems to have a thing with "standing on a high place and smiling/laughing just before he gets wrecked". (Later he does it as Numenor is falling). I hereby HC that just before he noticed the Ring being in the Crack of doom, he also stood high atop his tower and laughted (because Aragorn's army was losing).

I'm tired. I'll cut B&L reread into two parts.

[daydreamerdrew]

The Defenders (1972) #75

[thedailydescent]

I really don't buy the opinion that Louis hated becoming the "dom" + businessman in Paris. You can tell in that scene from 2x06 when he brings in the art piece to Armand's office he's entranced just talking about it and its potential. You all took Lestat's "All these roles you conform to and none of them your true nature" to mean he hates working/making money/providing for others in any capacity and just wants to be a submissive housewife (although we can see in Season 1 that the only thing keeping him happy in that role was Claudia- once she was gone or when Lestat became abusive towards her he hated it). Don't many housewives hate being housewives? Do businessmen always like the work? Louis likes being cared for and seen but he also likes having autonomy and projects to work on- money made by selling artwork fulfills that need. And Armand's supposed acceptance and submission in that 2x06 scene contrasts with Lestat's attitude towards Louis's work in New Orleans ("I have all the money we need" "This is Louis's hobby, not mine"), so that also plays into it. If Louis's making the money and taking charge in the bedroom, he can at least have the illusion of control.

Louis still doesn't know who he is at this point so saying he only likes being in certain roles (he's either a "violent pimp" or a passive wallflower who only likes to bottom, neither of which are true and the former being a really racist statement) contradicts his overall arc in Season 2. And the sad part is he still hasn't found it by the end of the season because he's found himself stuck with another abusive partner with his last tethers to humanity cut off. But saying he was forced into trying these new things out in Paris or has always despised playing the "Maitre" role throughout the duration of their relationship (for reasons other than when Armand tries to take back control while he's performing it, which is why it doesn't work in the first place), is a stretch in my opinion. The only conclusive thing we can make about Louis's preferences is that he hates when things grow stagnant. He can't play one role for too long, otherwise it gets boring.

[5hrignold]

glep being like thousands of years old has me wondering if that’s a critter thing like they either can be immortal or live to an absurd amount of time like that or it’s just a glep thing like it would be the case for him regardless of species

[anotherpapercut]

when I was in 8th grade I had the same teacher for physics and geometry and he was like one of those dudes who always wanted to be one of the cool kids but never was so now he got to be the cool teacher that all the cool kids loved so he would like straight up bully the weird kids (me and my friends lol ✌️) and I thought it was wack as hell that a grown ass man was calling my friend, a 13 year old girl, stupid in front of the whole class for asking a fucking question so I constantly told him to back off and would get in full on screaming matches with the man about why he was not allowed to treat us like that (at one point I basically told him that if he ever made my friend cry again I would not rest until his teaching license was revoked lol) and it got to the point where he was like. actually for real beefing with me during class and in the hallways when he saw me and sometimes after school

anyway I just wanna say first of all fuck you Mr. Glasson, second of all what kind of like 28 y/o man has a fr beef with a fucking 13 year old. I literally wore a cloak to school. he was having beef with a child with pink hair, in a cloak. can you fucking imagine jsbdksbdndmdbnd

[bidokja]

uncanny charm finished last week and im just laying here like....please....side chapters...i miss them sjdhgf

[designernishiki]

I wanna flesh out a yakuza oc but every time I think about it I end up thinking about an oc of mine who already Exists who’s not a yakuza oc. but is, in fact, an oc who is a yakuza. and that fact is genuinely completely unrelated

[threadmonster]

*launching cadapole* please share some Izaya hc??

These are a lot of recent thoughts so I'm happy to share them (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

So personally I think after losing to Shizuo, Izaya is in some state of self-loathing. He doesn't hate himself but he's questioning if he's worthy of loving humans the way he claims (in his novel he talks about his love was impure and talks about his "rehabilitation" as a punishment)

It's established that using a wheelchair and being unable to properly use his legs is mostly psych related.

My theory on this is that he's in shock from how his battle with Shizuo ended. He was ready to be killed and prove to a crowd that Shizuo is a monster, but instead, Vorona shows up and stops him. She defended Shizuo's humanity and called Izaya the monster.

Shizuo grew a lot over the original series. He made relations and they're so important that they can control his rage. So the point being I think Izaya was forced to recognize some type of humanity in Shizuo.

After losing he probably doesn't see himself as a human. He finally had a view of himself - which is probably an odd experience for him. He says something about how he doesn't like people who cast away their humanity and actually prefers monsters who act human.

I want to say it's probably about Celty since that's been repeated and established in the original series that she is basically both a monster but also the most human. But I think we can tie Shizuo into that statement.

Also it's definitely because he lost to Shizuo. If it has been Masaomi or Mikado for example he'd be ecstatic probably saying how they exceeded his expectations.

I consider if it were Anri even would he also be okay with that? He could make his dying words about her being a monster and be satisfied with the turmoil it would cause her.

I still don't think he's tragic at all though, he really does deserve whatever comes his way.

He also totally thinks he isn't worthy of being loved. Like he has said how he doesn't care if he's loved back, as long as he can love humans (basically). But feeling unworthy of loving humans... seeing himself as non-human... a thought that has been dormant for years maybe goes to the front of his mind. He isn't worthy of being loved.

Which I think this would bother him that he's feeling that way. He shouldn't have inner turmoil. He shouldn't care about these things. So he loathes himself.

(⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

[fruit-colored-ninja]

Listen I’m sorry but I refuse to believe that the reason cole couldn’t see his reflection was because he’s going to die young. If you guys want to do that you can but I won’t be participating he lives a long and happy life and dies when he’s old and wrinkly trust me :)

[tiredsadpeach]

I think we’re at a stalemate after that text which tbh is better than I tweet and then he tweets about being annoyed

[toasteaa]

Wait, no, I'm unwell. Neuvillette shows that he cares by being present in order to give support. Neuvillette, who doesn't accurately know how to voice his own emotions, doesn't know the "proper" way to comfort someone, goes out of his way to leave his work and be present with the people he cares about to show that he cares for them. To show sympathy for them. He views this with the upmost importance.

He understands feelings of sympathy, he knows feelings of regret. Of loss. Of mourning. He knows that often being present, even without knowing what to say, is all that is needed to show support. To show that he cares.

I need a moment, oh...