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i wonder what it was like to be one of those schoolkids bush was supposed to be talking to
#entered the ‘brain mush’ section of ‘i should sleep#might uhhh. go do that#but still imagine#ur a little kid. ur SUPER EXCITED bc today ur gonna meet the PRESIDENT#and he’s gonna talk to you and you’re gonna show him your drawing of him that you made yesterday with your crayons during quiet time#and then he’s there!!!#and he’s the president and he has these cool bodyguards and it’s AWESOME#and then one of them walks up to him and whispers something in his ear#and you see his face kinda fall and you’re like . ??????#and then a little bit later the agent guy walks up to him again and whispers something again#and eventually the president’s like ‘ok i’m sorry to cut things short but i have to go you’re all wonderful children’#and you’re SO CONFUSED and the teachers are all distraught#and then they bring a tv or a radio into the room and you learn that two planes have just crashed into these tall buildings in new york#the ones your classmate thinks are really cool#and you’re just like there with that experience#imagine what that would be like. so fucking surreal
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Gabe Saporta lifted the severed head of his one-time idol and mentor into the air and let forth a triumphant, guttural cry. "Behold! The beast, Pete Wentz!" Saporta roared, eliciting awestruck cheers from the mob of admirers spread below him on the White House's south lawn. Eyes twinkling with cold amusement, the emo heartthrob savored their terrified glee as drops of blood pooled on the balcony tiles near his feet. "Let this be a warning to ALL who would stand in the way of cool tunes and awesome good times," he declared. "They built this city on rock 'n' roll, but we built this city on disco beats, too!" The crowed thundered. Fusion-powered airships screamed overhead. Laser cannons crackled in the distance. And Saporta smiled. Oh, it was so very good to be president. Surveying the bedlam, he recognized a familiar face in the crowd: Access Hollywood host Billy Bush. Hand cupped over mouth, Saporta leaned toward a Secret Service bodyguard. "That one," he hissed. "In the Lincoln bedroom. Now." Later, in the presidential chambers, Saporta found his Secretary of the Interior and life partner, former The Academy Is . . . frontman William Beckett, lying on their goose-feather bed, gently dabbing tears from his large doe eyes. "Jesus, you'll get mascara all over the Natori comforter," the president sneered, unzipping his hoodie and unholstering his trusty Desert Eagle .50 handgun, the one he used to execute Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden in a truck stop outside Des Moines. The weapon clattered loudly on the room's fine mahogany dresser. "Did you do it?" William demanded, with more guts than usual. "Did you kill him?" "Duhhh," the president spat dismissively. "It was like my whole campaign platform." William buried his head in a pillow and began sobbing anew. Saporta ignored him. It was always best to ignore him when he got like this. Finally, William lifted his head and squared his chin, trying to make a show of strength. "Fine, all of our friends are dead," he said, with quivering lip. "At least now we can do some positive things, like fix the environment." "Yeah, right," Saporta said absently, knotting his favorite skinny black tie. "I hate environmentalism. It's so self-righteous. We're not going to kill the Earth. We're just a little speck of dust in the history of a planet that will live for five billion years. We're just a flash in the pan." "You're scaring me," William cooed uncomprehendingly, sinking back into sheets. "I know," Saporta said, with a charitable smile. "C'mon. We have one last thing to do." The president stalked out of the room. After a short interval, William followed. "Leave us!" the president commanded, sending his Secret Service detail scurrying out of the White House dungeon. William shivered. This was where Saporta kept all his ex-pop-punk allies: Grohl and DeLonge and the rest. "Come, my sweet. The Day of Darkness is at hand!" Saporta beckoned as he swept toward the dungeon's massive pentagram-shaped altar. "The final reckoning must be put in motion. Virgin feminine blood must be spilled!" The president ripped a black tarp off the altar, revealing the pink, writhing body underneath. William gasped in shock and horror "No, Gabe, no!" William pleaded. "Quiet, pansy! Don't you see that the world must pay?" the president seethed. "My career was founded on the crassest sort of opportunism! And no one called me on it, even when I started playing around with Miami Sound Machine beats. Even when I started matching my iPod to my purple hoodie. I was 30 years old!" He drew the dagger high in the air. The virgin's muffled pleas filled the dungeon. "And then they elected me president," Saporta sneered. "Just think about it: What kind of self-serving ambition would lead one into politics? The cynicism has to end here." "Yes, it does," William gasped, firing three rounds from the Desert Eagle into the president's chest. Both men collapsed. Just as he got up William was again felled, this time by bullets from Secret Service handguns. He wheezed as the dungeon filled with agents. Turning
his head, he locked eyes with the president's would-be victim, still tied and bound. "You must redeem us," he sputtered, surrendering his last breath. "It's up to you . . . Nick Jonas."
this is absolutely delightful, best thing I've read probably all month
thank you thank you
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A Flower, A Note, A Secret
Summary: Bucky Barnes gets to school and finds a flower and a note taped to his locker. He figures it’s someone setting him up. Then again...it might be from someone wonderful.
Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes
Word Count: 1.2k
Tags: high school, mentions of recreational drug use, fluff
written for @captain-rogers-beard‘s Flex Your Writing Muscles Challenge
Prompt: The language of flowers, pajamas, a secret passageway
Bucky stops short right there in the middle of the hallway. Taped to his locker is a yellow flower. With it, an envelope--his name scrawled across it in messy handwriting.
People are staring at him. Some giggling. Some impatiently. Some shocked. Probably because Bucky Barnes, their resident charity case and outcast has a flower and a note on his locker. It’s probably some sick joke. Just another asshole in this insufferable school trying to fuck with him.
With all those eyes on him, Bucky plucks the flower off, gives it a sniff, and then opens the envelope. Inside, is a folded up piece of paper. Written on it, is the name of the flower and what it means.
Yellow Chrysanthemum = Secret admirer. Meet me behind the locker room after 9th.
Not that many people know about that room. An old weight room, Bucky thinks. Shield Preparatory School’s own secret passageway. Bucky’s gone back there to get high when he just needs to get away from all these snobs.
When the two buddies he does have in school--Natasha and Clint--get wind of it, neither of them are willing to let him miss this opportunity.
“You gotta go,” Clint urges. “Maybe someone’s gonna ask you to prom!”
Bucky scoffs. “Doubtful. I’m gay. Which fucking guy here is gonna ask me to the prom?”
“What about Sam Wilson?” Natasha suggests. “He’s a cool guy.”
Captain of the baseball team, student body president, and member of the LGBTQ Alliance Club.
He is a cool guy. For all the complaining Bucky does about most of the student population, there are a few exceptions and he’s one of them. Bucky had quite the crush on him last year. There’s only one problem.
“He’s already going with Maria Hill,” Bucky says. “Besides, what would Sam Wilson want with a guy like me?”
Both of them punch him in the arm, and since they’re on either side of him, it means both arms get punched.
“Ow!” he exclaims, even though that really didn’t hurt. “Totally unnecessary.”
“You’re going,” Clint says. “You’re not talking your way out of it.”
Flower in hand, Bucky sighs. He doesn’t really want to admit it, not out loud anyway, but there’s a part of him that really does want to go. He’s sort of dying to find out who’s behind this. But there’s an even bigger part that’s dreading it. Because it wouldn’t be the first time that someone’s fucked with him.
He’s been a target in this damn school since the first day he came to it. He’s a nobody. Just a kid from a public school who wrote an essay that was good enough to earn a scholarship. Which meant assholes like Brock Rumlow and Helmut Zemo, kids of very powerful alumni, decided to make him their personal victim. Whether that meant punching bag or verbal harassment, they’ve been on his case for the past three years.
If this flower came from one of them or one of their friends, and they make a laughing stock out of him, Bucky’s not so sure he’ll get over it.
“What if...” His voice cracks. “What if it’s a joke?” Bucky keeps his eyes on their lunch table. “What if it’s one of--”
“If it’s one of those assholes,” Natasha says, “I’ll rip off their dicks and make them choke on it.”
“If it’s big enough,” Clint adds.
The remark, while so totally absurd, makes Bucky laugh so hard he nearly falls out of his chair. Neither of them is actually capable of such a thing, but they truly mean they’ll kick some ass if someone is fucking with him.
Which is the only reason he says, “Okay. I’ll go.”
By the time 9th period is over and Bucky’s on the way to the locker room, he’s starting to wish he just stayed home in his pajamas today. His heart is in his throat. Pounding. So hard he can hear his pulse thudding in his ears.
Just in case, Natasha and Clint are waiting for him right by the door--his backup. His bodyguards, he likes to think of them as, even though he’s very capable of throwing a few good punches if need be. More than capable. Just because he’s in drama and writes for the literary magazine instead of making touchdowns or three-pointers doesn’t mean he’s out of shape.
Bucky sucks in a deep breath and goes into the room.
At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be anyone there and he’s sure he’s been had. Then someone stands.
“B-Bucky?”
Bucky nearly falls over when he sees who’s there. For a second, he actually thinks it is a joke because there’s no way that Steve “All American” Rogers, quarterback and captain of the football team and artist and going to Yale next year and homecoming king and probably soon-to-be prom king, left him a flower that means secret admirer.
Not only is the idea of Steve being his secret admirer just crazy, there’s no way Bucky’s that lucky. He’s had a crush on Steve since he met him when he tutored him in history.
Out of all the people he’s met that aren’t Natasha and Clint, Steve is his favorite. He’s most decidedly not an asshole. In fact, he’s the opposite. He’s kind and sweet and both shy and social at the same time. Everyone likes Steve and those who don’t are total assholes who Steve hates right back.
“Steve?” he questions. “Did you--” He lifts the flower. Remembers that Peggy Carter’s locker is right next to his and this is probably meant for her. “Sorry I, uh, I thought this was for me.” Bucky hands it back to him. “I guess you want this back.”
“What?” Steve shakes his head. “No, I...” A blush fills his entire face. “It’s for you. From me. I’m...” He scratches the back of his head. Shifts from foot to foot. “I’m sorry. This looked a lot romantic in my head.”
“Wait, I’m...confused.”
“Well, when I pictured asking you to prom, I thought this would be super cute, having you come to the secret room and now I’m looking around and it looks creepy as fuck and, Jesus, Steve, you suck at this. I’m sorry. Sorry, just forget about it, I’m such an asshole.”
Bucky lets out laugh that echos through the room. “Steve Rogers, are you asking me to the prom?”
“I, uh...that was the idea.” Steve sighs. “I...would you want to go with me? I understand if you don’t, I can’t imagine why someone as awesome as you would want to go with me.”
“What?!” Bucky shrieks. “I’ve had a crush on you since day one!” Face flushing, Bucky can’t believe he just said that out loud.
“You...really?” Steve blinks a few times and then his jaw drops. “I’ve had a crush on you, too! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He laughs and drops a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “If you’re really asking me to the prom, my answer is yes!”
“Y-yes?” Steve's mouth tugs itself in this adorable smile. “You wanna go with me? Really? Like, not just as friends, as...maybe more? If you’d...maybe wanna go get some pizza beforehand? I mean, like, this weekend?”
“You mean, a date?”
“Uh...yeah.” Steve nibbles his lip and, seriously, how is it fair that everything this guy does is adorable?
“I’d love to, Steve.”
Steve, stepping closer, gently cups Bucky’s cheek in his big, athletic and artistic hand. He looks like he wants to kiss him.
“I hope you know,” Steve murmurs, leaning in closer, “I’m gonna get you more flowers.”
And he seals that promise with a soft, tender kiss.
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Miraculous Ladybug New York
The voices sound normal in French but seem so wrong in English and I don’t know what gives me this impression :/
There are a lot of things I loved in this episode/film:
First I’m glad the comic seems to not be canon anymore since it is Ladybug and Chat noir’s first trip to New York and they never met the US heroes before.
Cosmo Bug and Astrochat! I hope we will have a closer look and a longer utilisation in season 4 because this transformation looks so cool but was too short!
Miss Bustier being pregnant! So was she calling Miss because she is young and not because she is not married yet?
Marinette being to short to unlock the automatic door.
Marinette in denial with Adrien is just a friend, meaning Adrien was also in denial of his feelings for Marinette this whole time :D
A Black woman for the President of USA, the creators literally saying fuck the current timeline.
A black and a Native american girls as main US heroes (I mean they have most of the screen time of US heroes + about our heroes age) and a multiracial homoparental family. When Majestia says “it’s time to be our true selves” she isn’t only talking about Knight owl being a woman, but also about the both of them being a couple right? Maybe the Americans know Knight Owl and Majestia are going out but since they don’t know Knight Owl is a woman…
Adrien, aware or not, trying to be close to Marinette and knowing she did everything for him: making him come to NY, making the banderole when he left, etc. What if he changed target from Ladybug to Marinette?
Ladybug smiling fondly at Chat noir’s explanations at the beginning and accepting the flower.
Aeon stepping in front of Ladybug to save her from the Cataclysm. Imagine how Chat noir would have been devasted if he killed his lady D:
The Miraculous of the Eagle is the Miraculous of Freedom. Its power is to unlock whatever is holding back someone to reach their true potential, like fear, morality, etc. It’s like a big power up of what you would look like at 100%. Imagine Marinette if she is touched by this! :o no more clumsiness, only her confidence all the time!
I’m glad the Americans Miraculi are based on American Native culture. Meaning the Miraculous spread across the world are the sources of the local myths, legends and symboles. Ladybug’s box is from Asia. So maybe we will have a European guardian, a Greek one with Miraculous based on the Zodiac signs, as they are based on Greek mythology and constellations’ names. But also boxes based on Celtic and Viking myths! We will have a Shanghai special soon, so maybe the third World Special will be with the European box. I mean with Miraculous World could be film length special about other boxes just like New York and Shanghai are. Maybe they will make more like those, maybe one per continent (the crew talked about Brazil so a South America episode, so we would have an episode in Africa and Oceania! :D)
Adrien transforms in Chat noir just to protect Marinette. He makes his presence known in NY, with the possibility of Ladybug knowing of this, to protect Marinette.
Sabrina finding a life outside Chloé and maybe having a crush in USA :) Plus, it’s an interracial couple :)
Barbara x Olympia, the Supermoms of the ML universe :) So Jesse and Eon are sisters? Since they both called Barbara and Olympia moms? And that they seem together?
The little kitty to make Ladybug know if there’s a problem in Paris. I hope Marinette will make a ladybug version just so Chat noir can know if something is wrong in Paris so he could transform. You know, since they can communicate only if they are both transformed…
Did you notice the irony of Marinette makes Adrien coming in NY and then being mad at Chat noir for being in NY >< The reveal when they’ll realise all the quiproquos from the start xD
Other things I think wasn’t understood by most of the fandom and my opinion:
Mayura making an sentimonster looking like Robustus in Paris to make it seems Hawkmoth was still in Paris. But I don’t understand Hawkmoth’s plan to give a Miraculous to the villain. He never made a stupid move like than, excepting when he made a Miraculous the akumatised object for Queen Wasp.
Yellow roses symbolising friendship is a new symbole, but they do symbolise jealousy in the past. On the Internet, it explains it was to sell more of these roses they changed to meaning. So Ladybug and Chat noir were both right about it. Chat noir is trying to show platonic affection and support to Ladybug
Marinette going back to her antics like in season 1. Well, it’s not easy to move on from someone and Marinette never had closure to help her doing it. By that I mean a clear no from Adrien because she never succeeded to tell him what she felt so of course, she still have a little hope. About her antics, she tried so much to flirt with Adrien or to confess to him since 3 seasons/a year, she doesn’t know how to act as a friend with him, so she panics and here we go. Marinette has anxiety easily. So she has to plan every scenario/the worst scenario to reassure her. But being friend with Adrien is new territory. So Marinette becomes error 404 ^^ I mean, before she would have be thrilled to spend time with Adrien, especially sitting next to him on the plane like she was where they were on the train. But now that’s too overwhelmed for her.
Adrien wanted to tell Ladybug he’s going away too right away, but Plagg told him not to, because he wants his friend to have free and good time too because Adrien deserves it. Maybe they would have find a solution like the Horse Miraculous or going back to Paris thanks to the astrosuit.
I think Ladybug say she can’t trust Chat noir anymore out of anger and doesn’t really mean it. We know she cares about Chat noir
About Chat quitting. It’s not because he came to NY without telling Ladybug, I think the main reason he wanted to quit because he could have actually kill someone. We’re talking about Adrien the cinnamon roll. Do you think about how traumatic it would be to kill someone? By accident, yes, but the consequence is still here and the person would have been an innocent. He would have kill Ladybug if Aeon didn’t intervene and if she wasn’t a gynoid, she would have die for real. Maybe she knew she’ll be fine thanks to the Miracle cure or she just wanted to save a human life. So it’s the combo of nearly kill someone + Ladybug won’t trust him anymore that makes him think he’s not worthy of being a hero anymore.
I read people complained about Ladybug being perfect and awesome. Just wanna remind it’s from Adrien’s point of view, just like Adrien is perfect from Marinette’s one. Not that they’re perfect as people, but the other see them at such for them. When you’re in love you don’t see the person as perfect as a person, but as your partner because they are what you’re looking for in a partner. Adrien likes strong girls, with confidence, who want to fight for others and help them. Marinette likes boys who are gentle, sweet, generous, romantic, calm and relax to counterbalance her ball of energy. That’s why they see Ladybug and Adrien are perfect according to their standards.
I’m not sure where Adrigami and Lukanette are… The second one seems to be in standby, Luka giving Marinette time to move on from Adrien and I stand that. Maybe the first one is processing thing, Kagami also giving time to Adrien to clear his heart. We didn’t hear Adrien’s clear answer since the finale. Or are they secretly dating because of their strict parents? The kiss seems to be on the cheek (pretty close from the lips from our point of view, but still not on the lips) so I don’t think they are dating yet, so the Adrinette was cheating? I don’t even think Nino and Alya know about them or Adrien knows he’s in love with Marinette or that his behavior makes it appears like such. He wants to spend time with her, to be with her, he’s thankful of her, wants to protect her, but still processing his feelings. Kagami and Adrien never had friends before, least of all a girl/boyfriend. I’m not sure they know what dating supposes to look like. Maybe Kagami confused feeling closed to Adrien because they live the same situation and being in love with him? I love Kagami and Luka but I know Adrigami and Lukanette won’t be endgame anyway so I try to not bring myself to much in those ships… But I hope they will end up with each other!
Adrien isn’t a cheater. First, we don’t know yet if Adrigami is dating or not. Plus we see Adrinette interactions are romantic because we know they’re endgame and we know Marinette is in love with Adrien. (I’m not even sure Adrien is conscious that his behaviour could be interpreted as romantic.) So it’s just our perception that makes those moments romantic. Otherwise, Adrien did nothing wrong! What did he do? He was happy to be sitted next to a friend so he won’t spend a 12 hours flight alone (not like he can talk to his bodyguard or Mendeleiev...), thanked Marinette for made him come to NY, hugged her, helped her with automatic doors, hided with her because they were sneaking out, share a hot dog and they have been locked in a room. Yes, they danced but it was Alya who asked Jess to turn it into a slow. And dancing with someone else isn’t cheating anyway.
About Alya and Nino… Alya knows Marinette is in denial of her feelings and she might be frustrated because to her point of view, Marinette is giving up without a clear answer from Adrien. She didn’t know Adrien told her he’s in love with a girl (Ladybug, in Pupeteer 2) and from Marinette’s POV it’s Kagami who is also in love of Adrien. That’s why she stepped back in the S3 finale without knowing Adrien might have giving up on Ladybug (because she told him a clear no) and is trying to be closer to her. Alya doesn’t understand why Marinette is giving up on her feelings and from her and Nino’s POV Adrien is also crushing on her but isn’t aware of it and/or doesn’t know it’s reciprocal. From their POV, it’s like Marinette’s one on Adrien and Kagami: they both think Marinette and Adrien are in love wih each other but not aware of it. Alya isn’t giving up on Marinette because she think she is so close to hapiness and reciprocal feelings to give up just now.
New York being romantic… Well maybe it’s Hollywood’s fault and since a lot of French never went to USA, their only views of this country are films and series so their opinion might be biased? (Just like people think Paris is romantic when… it’s maybe not true anymore… It’s not the City of lights from before…) Same for USA being the country of freedom. It’s just become US save the world in every of their movies, against terrorists or aliens or whatever.
About Nino calling Adrien a baby chick, a little cultural explanation is needed here :) Chicks have not the same meaning in French than in English. While in English it refers to girls in a sexual/flirting way, in French it’s a cute pet name you call your child or a cheesy one for your boy/girlfriend. So Nino refers to Adrien as being innocent, like in a naive and oblivious way.
Too many heroes in NY. It seems Hot Dog Dan and the firelights heroes are recurent NY heroes. But the other ones could live elsewhere and just come to NY because there were a big threat wih Techno Pirate. Since United Heroez are based on Justice League and the Avengers (or other groups of heroes, but I would say mostly the JL), they could have way to communicate and to travel fast across the USA right?
Questions:
Where are the power of the US superheroes come from? From the bracelets?
Why Jesse and Eon have to supervise the Miraclass? Does Olympia and Barbara know Marinette and Adrien are Ladybug and Chat noir? Nope, they were surprised they are in NY. So why? To be sure they’ll be safe since they are a lot of supervillains in USA? (Since you know, they’re not a one-time villain because of an akuma here)
Was it Aeon’s fault if the door didn’t open for Marinette and Adrien? Or it’s really because Marinette has the size of a child? xD By the way, do the US door retract when they meet an “obstacle” or it was just for the comedy?
Am I the only one who think Aeon look like an Egyptian goddess in her hero form?
Tsurugi-san (forgot Kagami’s mom’s name) should know Gabriel is Hawkmoth, or at least he’s in NY because he is driving in a autopilot car from Tsurugi’s label. There is something going on between her, Gabriel and Audrey (see the end of the episode Feast).
We see Adrien protecting Marinette a lot during attacks. Is this a building or a foreshadowing of him realising he’s in love with Marinette (I mean being conscious of his feelings) because he will see her hurt during a attack? (Marinette could be fine, transforming in Ladybug just before being really hurt or killed by something but Adrien won’t know Ladybug next to him is also Marinette so… angst and tear?) could be Adrinette or Marichat but this scenario could also be a reverse with Ladynoir. Marinette seems to be more and more fond of Chat noir with time passed.
With the special, I think the love square would be changed in S4. Chat noir still cares about Ladybug but he’s not pursuing her anymore. So still banter but not flirting for ladynoir? But Ladybug makes heart eyes when Chat noir gabble about flowers and their symbolism :3 I don’t know if Ladybug will see Chat noir romantically but they may have an even stronger bond after all they have been through! So reverse Adrinette like in the special? So maybe... more Marichat? :D
Well that’s all I thought at the moment. Maybe I’ll add new things when I rewatch it for the x times. If you have language or cultural questions, don’t hesitate! I will add the answer to this post! ;D
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January 8, 2021: R.E.D. (2010)
Time to continue the action-comedy trend by getting away from the buddy cop trend, and hitting a different style of comedy: the ensemble. I’ll talk about this more during Comedy April, but one of my favorite comedies is an ensemble comedy. That would be 1963′s It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
I cannot properly explain how much I love this movie. It’s only grown over the years, and I WILL get into this one day. Don’t know HOW...but I WILL.
Anyway, what do I mean by the ensemble? It’s a cast composed of many big names, especially those famous or popular at the time the film is made. Nowadays, superhero films tend to be our ensembles, as well as some other action films that I’ll get to later this month.
But in today’s case, the ensemble is different. Rather than purely action or comedy stars, they’re kind of all over the genre map. But ere we go, here’s the list of stars:
Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Karl Urban, Mary-Louise Parker, Brian Cox, Richard Dreyfuss, Ernest Borgnine, James Remar. Seriously. LOOK at the list of people up there. That’s one hell of an ensemble. None of them particularly well-known for comedy, and that’s handled in a surprising way. Which movie is this?
R.E.D. is definitely an interesting movie as action-comedies go, but let’s get into it, shall we? SPOILERS AHEAD, as a warning heading forward!
Recap
Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is a retiree living in suburbia, reading romance novels, and calling Sarah Ross (Mary Louise Parker), a girl working in the GSA pension office. Sarah Ross is most likely the Inevitable Love Interest of this film. The two decide to meet up in Kansas City, where she works.
But no time for that, as a group of masked assailants invade Frank’s house to kill him. But, see, it turns out that Frank’s ex-CIA. He handily takes them and turns the tables, then goes into the basement to prepare. Meanwhile…
Not very subtle, huh? I feel like the neighbors know what’s going on at this point. Frank takes on the rest, the house collapses, and he makes his way to Kansas City...directly into Sarah’s apartment. She freaks out (appropriate reaction), as he warns that people are trying to kill her, because they know how he feels about her via their (likely surveilled) phone conversations. She’s not buying it.
So he kidnaps her.
Good start, building trust, establishing boundaries, good start.
We now cut to an opulent estate, where The Butcher/Executioner/Judge Dredd Karl Urban is killing a man. He’s playing William Cooper, a CIA agent tasked to kill Frank. After Frank drops off Sarah at a motel (still kidnapped, remember), he goes to meet Joe Matheson (Morgan Freeman), another retired agent living at a retirement home, with his…
...hobbies. Using his connections, they discover that the hit quad after Frank also killed a reporter. The plot thickens. Sarah escapes, and calls 911, a call which was intercepted by Cooper. A fake cop nearly kidnaps her, but Frank saves her. Cooper catches up, leading to…
OK, yeah, that was a cool shot. Literally. Frank sets up Cooper to get arrested by the local police, and escapes with Sarah to New York City. There, they meet the mother of the NYT reporter killed, and discover clues that lead them to the NYU library, and a book with a hitlist hidden within it. They discover that everyone on the list is dead except for a Gabriel Singer. However, tempered with that, we get some unfortunate news.
Joe’s dead. Which sucks, I honestly liked Joe. He was already dying of liver cancer, but he sadly was assassinated by a mysterious assailant.
Anyway, back to Cooper. He goes to visit the Record Keeper (Ernest Borgnine), who gives Cooper the mostly redacted case file of Frank Moses. An extremely effective black ops agent in his day, the now older Frank’s been marked “RED,” or “retired, extremely dangerous.”
FLORIDA! There, we meet the paranoid and flighty Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich), who lives in the swamps of Pensacola trying not to get killed. He lives underground in a bunker whose entrance is a broken-down car, and I love it a lot. I love it a whole lot.
Turns out Marvin was given doses of LSD every day for 11 years while working for the government, which made him understandably paranoid. My MK Ultra senses are tingling, and Marvin retrieves a file detailing a case in Guatemala from 1981, in which Frank, Marvin, and everybody else on the hit list was involved. And with this, Marvin gets the pig.
I can’t wait to find out what the pig is. Because I know it’s gonna be some crazy weapon. And I’m excited for it. Now, we head to Mobile, Alabama to catch up with Singer (James Remar), the only living person on the list. Marvin then briefly holds a random bystander hostage, and he might be juuuuuuuuust a little unstable.
They meet Singer, and he explains that his job on the Guatemala mission was to carry a passenger in the middle of the night, for unknown reasons. Singer’s quickly assassinated from a helicopter after giving this information, and may I just say...these guys aren’t subtle about their assassination techniques. I feel like somebody would notice this stuff happening, throughout the entire movie.
Anyway, a group of assassins comes in to kill the group of 3. Including this person.
Nice. And as if that wasn’t enough, we now discover the purpose of the pig. It contains a grenade launcher. Of course it does. We get a cool firefight in which Marvin hits a grenade like a baseball, and Marvin and the woman from before face off in a Western standoff. And then…
Yeah. This is awesome. Seriously, I’m loving this so far.
Next destination, as our guys head to the Russian Embassy, where we meet Ivan Simanov (Brian Cox), an ex-KGB agent and former enemy of Frank Moses. The two catch up in a funny exchange, and they reminisce over their old days as agents and assassins. Almost sweet in a macabre way. Frank’s there to ask Ivan for help in breaking into the CIA, using schematics that they probably have.
Using the assistance of Sarah (who’s enjoying this a LOT, apparently), they get into Langley, making this the second movie I’ve seen this month where the protagonist breaks into the CIA. There, they meet the Record Keeper Henry, who immediately helps them, and gives them the Guatemala file. They also find out about Cooper, leading to Frank meeting him at his office, where a kickass fight ensues to some kickass music.
Frank’s not looking stellar after this fight, not that Cooper’s doing great either. They escape by setting up an explosion, stealing a firefighter’s uniform, and escaping to an ambulance There, they’re greeting by Marvin and…
Joe! He escaped, and killed the assassin. Now, it’s Joe, Frank, Marvin, and Sarah on the run in an ambulance. But Frank isn’t doing great, as he was shot in the struggle with Cooper. They head up to Chesapeake, Maryland, to the Eagle’s Nest. It’s there that we meet Victoria Winslow (Helen Mirren), yet one more R.E.D. agent, and a talented assassin as well.
They discover that the file has one redacted name, which is found on the reporter’s list as Alexander Dunning (Richard Dreyfuss), an arms trafficker and gangster, apparently protected by the CIA. Using Joe as a pretend buyer, R.E.D. infiltrates the mansion, as Dunning sneaks Joe into a safe room, where their negotiating can take place. Soon though, though, Frank and Marvin join in, and it turns from negotiation to interrogation.
We find out here that the Guatemala mission was meant to clean up the destruction of a Guatemalan village performed by the current vice president, Robert Stanton. Yikes. Apparently, he went nuts and murdered the entire village. And so, the hits are meant to cover up with war crimes, allowing him to run for President without fear of persecution.
After that reveal, Cooper calls the trio; looks like the mansion’s been surrounded by FBI, who were surveilling Dunning’s mansion anyway. Cooper, who’s been in doubt about the motives of this mission, tells Frank to surrender, and he’ll hear his side of the story. With little option for escape, Joe, who’s dying anyway, volunteers to take his place, as they know he will most likely be killed immediately.
And unfortunately, they’re right. Joe’s shot and killed, and Frank and Marvin escape with Victoria’s help. In the escape, however, Sarah falls and is captured by the agents. They escape with the aid of Ivan.
They need to get Sarah out of Cooper’s custody, while also deciding to end the cause of this: Vice President Stanton. Frank makes it into Cooper’s home, and calls him from there. This, of course, is a threat meant to protect Sarah. He also tells Cooper that he plans to kill the Vice President, who will be at a gala that night.
Vice President Robert Stanton (Julian McMahon) announces his intention to run for President, as Cooper, Victoria, and Ivan watch on. Ivan sprays a gas throughout the ballroom, while Victoria blocks the doors. Ivan causes a distraction, claiming the smell of gas (which he’s caused), then pulls a fire alarm. The Vice President is routed through the back entrance, where Victoria and Marvin are waiting with a machine gun.
They rig it to autofire, and chase the VP back through the building. Victoria’s shot in the process, and Marvin detonates a smoke grenade to aid their escape. He then rigs up a bomb to his chest and chases the VP away, into a vehicle driven by, of course, Frank.
Cooper’s defeated, and Frank has the VP, offering to trade him for Sarah. Cooper calls his boss, all of whom head to the rendezvous point. And alongside Cooper’s boss arrives Alexander Dunning. Surprise! He kills Stanton, and is in command of Cooper’s boss. And Cooper is NOT happy about that.
Cooper kills his boss, Marvin and Victoria kill the bodyguards, and Frank and Marvin kill Dunning. Cooper lets the REDs leave, unencumbered and free. But Ivan reminds Frank of his favor to him, and I smell a sequel as Frank and Sarah kiss.
Whew. That’s R.E.D.! And what a fun ride it was! Might not have come across in this recap, but this movie is hilarious fun, and I’ll explain exactly how in the review section, coming up next!
#R.E.D.#red 2010#red film#red movie#R.E.D. 2010#R.E.D. film#robert schwentke#bruce willis#morgan freeman#john malkovich#helen mirren#karl urban#mary-louise parker#brian cox#richard dreyfuss#julian mcmahon#enrest borgnine#james remar#frank moses#marvin boggs#victoria winslow#Ivan Simanov#william cooper#365 movie challenge#365 movies 365 days#365 Days 365 Movies#365 movies a year#a movie a day#movie challenge#action january
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all evens for peter x phoebe for the au ask meme?
ooooh yes these are good ones!!!
02. COLLEGE AU — phoebe’s totally the slacker who still gets straight as!!! it pisses peter off tho and she’s just in the back of the class and then they get paired on an assignment together (tony’d be their prof) and they’d realize they work well together!!! they’d still be a little apprehensive about working together and peter’d probably ask why he isn’t working w ned or mj at the beginning but then they start going to coffee shops together and he kinda falls in love a lil....oops!!! she’d also probably be dating harry so it’d be really awkward when he starts liking her ahjwjwns but eventually harry dumps phoebe because he thinks she’s cheating on him and it’s really messy but then they kiss and peter confesses and he’s super super duper duper sappy and it’s great. they kiss when it’s snowing too like all those cheesy hallmark films it’s awesome!
04. ENEMIES TO LOVERS AU — THEE trope god i love this!!! so going with them not meeting until peter gets his job at stark industries, phoebe would’ve already been working there for a couple months so she’d see him and be so confused on who he was and she’d definitely be threatened by him. it’d probably start off simple and then peter unknowingly start taking over some of phoebe’s space and they actually would start feuding. she’s the type of person to bottle everything up until the last second so she’d def just start screaming at him one day and they’d have a shouting match. they’d probably be sent to tony’s office (they’re basically being called to the principal except tony loves them both and hates seeing phoebe super pouty) and they’d have to work together probably and phoebe would start liking him and they’d become lovers soon after ahnsjsjsns
06. SINGLE PARENT AU — phoebe’d be the single parent - peter would probably be her kid’s science teacher and she’d be freshly divorced from harry osborn (who still pays for their kid’s tuition at a fancy upstate new york prep school) and she definitely does not want to get into a new relationship. then when she goes to her daughter colette’s (named after her mom, of course) parent teacher conference and meets peter she’s like....shit. she’s not willing to let peter interfere with her kid’s life though so she’s running around in circles with him until eventually she’s in middle school (aka she’s no longer at the school peter works at) and she goes to confess to find out...he’s seeing gwen stacy, the school nurse. it’s all dramatic and then they break up a couple months later and phoebe finds out she’s dating the school on-site lawyer, michelle jones and it’s really really complicated but they finally get to see each other and phoebe asks him if he wants to get a cup of coffee sometime and then they date and the rest is history!!
08. BODYGUARD AU — peter would be the one protecting phoebe even though normally phoebe would be protecting him but in this version phoebe’s the adopted daughter of tony who’s getting a lot of bad press from his reelection for president (because they found out about his sketchy past involving A LOT of women....like A LOT) and so he enlists plucky superfan peter parker to protect phoebe. he’s trained in tae kwon do (which ryan potter is trained in — super super cool!!!!!) and karate and basically he’s just really smart and is easily trainable so tony higher him in a desperate bit to keep his daughter safe! so basically phoebe’s super against it cause she does know karate and she boxes and happy taught her a bunch of self defense so she treats peter kind-of harshly but he just keeps on impressing her again and again so phoebe asks peter to train her so she can be as capable as possible. peter’s already got a huge crush on her and is trying to hold back just kissing her but then they’re fighting and phoebe gets on top of him and they......they kiss. it’s hot and steamy and they definitely forget about training for awhile but it’s cute as hell lmaooooo
10. CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS — this is actually their trope so uhh we’re gonna go with they were best friends and then they drifted apart and they met again through a mutual!! so phoebe was always the one in love with peter and she actually asked him out when they were in middle school but peter, who has no idea how do any of this shit says no and they basically just...are never the same. eventually they drift off and go to different colleges but then they meet at stark industries, phoebe working in the r&d labs when peter gets a job there. they instantly realize who the other person is and plays it off and tony kinda just.....he doesn’t know how to respond to that so he asks friday to lock them in a closet until they work out their issues ahssjsnjsns it works but then they’re like....uhhh are we gonna end up dating and they don’t at first but then at the company holiday party phoebe asks peter to dance and they do and then they kiss and mwah!!!! iconic!
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Borderlands: Skies the Bodyguard 1
The story starts to align with Borderlands 2 here, as Skies recounts the start of Jack's plan. Previous! Next!
Chapter 10
Skies’ eye is closed as she focuses on keeping her breath steady. She’s not looking for sleep- that was never easy to find even when she was in proper shape- she’s merely looking for rest.
She’s disturbed by what sounds like paper rubbing together. She opens her eye and sees Tiny Tina leaning over her glass cell-turned-bed, measuring her one leg.
“Uh what’cha doin’?” Skies asks.
Tina tosses the tape measure over her shoulder and looks at her innocently. “Nuttin’. What are you doing?” Skies smiles wearily as she lifts her head. “Actually, I was just wondering what you plan to do with me.”
“Huh?”
“You got me in a pretty sweet spot right now. Immobile in this busted cage, feeding me crumpets and tea. I’m essentially your pet hamster.”
“What’s a hamster?”
Skies sighs. “The point is I’m useless. You can do whatever you want to me. So what’s your endgame? You gonna turn me over to the Crimson Raiders?” Tina stares at her, seemingly perplexed. Then she shrugs theatrically. “Dunno. How bout you keep telling your story and I’ll decide later.”
Skies chuckles and sits up. “Alright.” Tina squeals happily and hops into the old cage to sit across from her. Skies rests her chin on her hand and considers how to begin.
“Okay. I think you’re gonna really enjoy this part.”
Being a space station, Helios doesn’t exactly have night and day. However, it does have nighttime hours and daytime hours, so that workers have proper times for working and sleeping.
During those early days, I also worked those hours. I would spend nighttime hours in my penthouse apartment and daytime hours with Jack or in his office.
One morning, when I got up to start the day, he sent me an urgent message.
“Skies, before you come in today, be sure to grab some drinks and lots of pretzels,” he ordered, “oh and popcorn.”
I didn’t think much of it. Jack often ordered me to pick up snacks. So on my way to his office, I stopped in the Hub of Heroism and picked up everything he wanted, as well as a couple things I wanted.
I entered Jack’s lobby carrying grocery bags. Wilhelm was in his usual spot, still as a statue, but he always seemed to perk up when I walked in.
“Morning, Wilhelm,” I greeted, “want a snack? Oh, wait, do you even eat?”
“Eating is for chumps,” he grunted.
I responded by stuffing a handful of gummies into my mouth. “Maybe. But I sure enjoy it.”
I left the lobby and went through the hallway into Jack’s office. He was leant back in his chair, staring intently at his computer, a giddy smile on his face.
“Skies! Perfect timing!” he exclaimed.
“I got everything you wanted,” I said as I dropped on the bags on the desk.
“Excellent. You are going to love this,” he grinned excitedly.
“Hello, Skies,” a familiar voice rang through his computer.
“Oh, hello, Angel,” I smiled, “nice to er hear you.”
“Okay, okay,” Jack said impatiently. “You remember those Vault Hunters? Well, last night they rode a train to begin what they thought was gonna be their new job. But really it was just the beginnings of my masterful plan.”
He giggled like a schoolgirl. “The train blew up and soon they will wake up somewhere in Windshear Waste. They’re gonna think they survived out of ‘pure strength of will’ or something and come looking for revenge. But they won’t know that I planned it this way. Ha ha! I am such a genius. Aren’t I a genius?”
“You are very smart, sir,” Angel said while I tried not to roll my eyes into the back of my head.
“Sir, I’m picking up new ECHO signals,” Angel stated.
“Awesome. Connect us,” Jack ordered, leaning forward in his chair. I grabbed the guest chair and dragged it around the desk to sit next to him.
The holographic computer screen lit up, displaying a split screen of four different views. They were all looking at a Claptrap.
“I thought you shut down all the Claptraps?” I questioned.
“That one survived,” Jack grumbled with disgust.
“This Claptrap Jack modified to be a Vault Hunter a few years ago,” Angel explained, “he wants revenge on him too.”
As the perspectives looked around, we got a look at those four Vault Hunters: Maya the Siren, Axton the Commando, Salvador the Gunzerker, and Zero the Assassin. As well as two others…
“Wait, wait, wait,” Jack said quickly, “who are they?” “Uh, sir, I’m picking up two other ECHO signals,” Angel said.
“Connect us.”
Two other perspectives were added to the screen. The owners appeared to be a teenage girl and a Psycho.
“Who are they?” Jack demanded, “where did they come from?”
“Seems there were two stowaways on the train who really did survive because of pure strength of will,” Angel said.
“Hey, I know that kid,” I said, pointing at the girl. “Her name is…Gaige? I saw a video of her on the ECHOnet. She created this killer robot that killed one of her classmates. It was awesome. And-.” I pointed at the Psycho. “Whoa, that dude is buff. And seems to have a thing for the Siren. He’s got good taste.”
“Ugh,” Jack groaned, aggravated as he rubbed his hand down his face. “Alright, whatever. They wanna join the party? Fine. It won’t make any difference.”
The now six Vault Hunters, almost half dead, followed the nattering Claptrap through a blizzard to what appeared to be his home. He kept going on and on about something that I barely listened to before a giant bullymong broke through the ceiling and tore out his eye.
“I never liked Claptraps,” I commented as the Vault Hunters looted Claptrap’s house. “They were always annoying me and getting in my way. I was so glad when they all deactivated.”
The Vault Hunters followed the blind, whiny robot back outside, seemingly to help him find his eye.
“Oh oh, watch this,” Jack said excitedly, “I’m gonna screw with them.”
He giggled giddily for a second before clearing his throat and pressing a button on his keyboard. A microphone icon appeared in each section of the split screen.
“Hey, kiddo. Jack here- President of Hyperion,” he said, “lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunter shows up. Vault Hunter looks for the new vault. Vault Hunter gets killed. By me. You see-seeing the problem here? You’re still alive. So if you could just do me a favour and off yourself, that’d be great. Thanks, pumpkin.”
He turned off the mic and leant back, looking pretty damn proud. “You see what I did there? I made it look like I don’t want them alive. Heh, I’m so clever.”
“Very clever, sir,” Angel said while I again tried not to roll my eyes into the back of my head.
The Vault Hunters, seemingly unbothered by Jack’s message, found the giant bullymong and fought it for Claptrap’s eye. I have to admit, it was pretty cool to watch. I couldn’t stop myself from getting into it.
“Yeah, nice shot!” I cheered when Axton got a clean shot to the bullymong’s head, finishing it off. Jack looked at me accusingly.
“What?” I questioned, “don’t you want them to win?’
After the Vault Hunters got the robot’s eye, they continued to follow him through the snowy waste until they came upon a town.
“Okay, watch this,” Jack grinned, nudging my shoulder, and pressed another button on his keyboard. This turned on a different part of the screen that read, “Broadcasting: Pandora.”
“Attention, people of Pandora! Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whoever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liar’s Berg. Oh, and I’m still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, bandits!”
As the Vault Hunters arrived in this town called Liar’s Berg, a small army of bandits ambushed them, chittering excitedly about the reward. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully.
“You…do want them to win, don’t you?” I questioned.
“Yeah, my whole plan hinges on them,” Jack replies, “but I’m not gonna make it easy on them. If they can’t handle this then they’re useless to me anyway.”
I leant back in my chair, watching him curiously. “And what is this plan? You never did share it with me.”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise.”
I eyed him suspiciously, wondering just what sort of convoluted plan would need a bunch of Vault Hunters to seek vengeance against you.
But I didn’t wonder long as I looked back at the fight and quickly got sucked in. I figured might as well sit back and enjoy the show.
#Borderlands#Borderlands 2#Borderlands fanfiction#Borderlands 2 fanfiction#Borderlands au#my oc#my art
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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Complete DC Comics Easter Eggs and Reference Guide
https://ift.tt/2JBh7bw
Your complete guide to DC Comics references, Justice League movie hints, and DCEU Easter eggs in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice!
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Mike Cecchini
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
Mar 22, 2019
Batman
Superman
Zack Snyder
DC Entertainment
Justice League
Wonder Woman
This article contains nothing but Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and DCEU spoilers.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is the second movie in the DC Extended Universe series, which began with Man of Steel, and continued in the Wonder Woman movie, will continue further with the Justice League movie, and more. As a result, it's positively packed with references to DC Comics, and hints about the future of the DC Extended Universe.
Here's our complete and spoiler-filled breakdown of everything you might have missed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Batman's Origin
- Just as Man of Steel opened with Superman's origin (his literal birth, in fact), so does Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice open with Batman's origin story. Thank heavens for that, because if we don't see what motivated young Bruce Wayne to become the Batman, we might never know! That is, of course, a joke.
While Batman first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in 1939, we didn't see his actual origin until a two-page segment in Detective Comics #33. To make up for that six month gap, DC Comics and their media partners are now contractually obligated to re-tell Batman's origin in some form, whether it's in the comics, on the screen, or via finger puppets, every six months in perpetuity. That's not true, but it sometimes feels that way.
The visual inspiration for this origin sequence is, like many things in the film, taken from Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley's seminal The Dark Knight Returns, which was first published in 1986. Things like the mustachioed Thomas Wayne and the string of pearls caught on the barrell of the gun are right out of there, as well as the (dream?) sequence where young Bruce is surrounded by bats after accidentally discovering the bat cave.
Watch Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice on Amazon
The Waynes leave the movie theater after a revival screening of the 1940 version of The Mark of Zorro starring Tyrone Power. That particular Zorro film holds up really well, is a great watch, and feels like a superhero movie before there was ever really any such thing. Totally worth your time. I also believe that The Dark Knight Returns was where it was first revealed that this was the film the Waynes saw on that fateful night.
You can also spot Excalibur on the marquee, which is John Boorman's highly stylized, overly serious 140-minute take on the King Arthur legend (sounds like another movie we know), here to help illustrate that this sequence takes place in 1981. Excalibur feels like a very long film at 140 minutes. Batman v Superman, on the other hand, feels even longer than its 153 minute run time.
We wrote lots more on John Boorman's Excalibur right here, if you want to learn more about this crazy movie.
I owe a special thanks to Peter in the comments for catching this next little detail, Excalibur is listed as "coming next Wednesday." Now, aside from the fact that the movie actually opened on Friday, April 10th, 1981, "coming next Wednesday" is still pretty significant. First of all, new comic books come out every Wednesday, so this is a nod to that.
The Justice League can be seen as a modern day Knights of the Round Table. Couple that with the fact that the Excalibur movie is "coming soon" (and on a Wednesday, no less!) it's kind of an in-joke about how the Justice League movie is next on the schedule. That's pretty cool.
There's more on Excalibur coming down below, just be patient...
- Visible in the Wayne graveyard is the name "Solomon." Solomon Wayne was Bruce's Great, Great, Great Grandfather. When the Batman comics decided they wanted their Gotham City to look a little bit more like Anton Furst's Gotham designs from Tim Burton's Batman movies, a story was crafted to make it happen, and Solomon Wayne was part of that.
- It's also worth noting that this movie marks the first time we've seen Bill Finger's name in the opening credits of a Batman movie. That's a huge deal, as Finger was a major creative driving force behind Batman and his supporting cast, but for years, Bob Kane took all the credit. We have a little bit more about Bill Finger's bat-legacy right here.
The Supporting Characters
- Anatoli Knyazev is known to comic book fans as (wait for it) the KGBeast, because he was created in 1988 when that was what you named these kinds of villains. Anatoli has appeared in non-beastly form on a number of episodes of Arrow, as well. He first appeared in a story called "Ten Nights of the Beast" which is a pretty cool read if you can track it down.
- The photographer who is apparently working for the CIA during Lois' misadventure in the desert is played by Argo's Michael Cassidy. And yes, as credited and as revealed in the film's Ultimate Edition, he is indeed Jimmy Olsen. "Superman's Pal" is promptly and brutally murdered. So, yeah, you can forget about that little piece of Superman mythology in the DC Extended Universe, as well. Read more about Mr. Snyder's comments on the matter here.
- Alfred Pennyworth first appeared in 1943's Batman #16. Like most enduring Batman characters, he was created by Bob Kane, Bill Finger, and Jerry Robinson. Alfred cut a rather different figure in his early appearances, and through the years he has become more of an aggressively badass figure.
Lex Luthor
- Lex Luthor has been around since Action Comics #23 in 1940 (you'll note that at the end of the movie, his prisoner number is AC23-1940), and as we see here, he had lustrous red hair. Later appearances alternately identified Lex as a shortening of Alexander or Alexei, and even later appearances revealed he was a childhood friend of Clark Kent, before a lab accident stole his luscious locks.
read more: The Actors Who Have Played Lex Luthor
- Lex Luthor's prison garb has the prisoner number of 16-TK421. TK421 is a reference to Star Wars when Luke and Han took on Stormtrooper disguises. You know, "TK421, why aren't you at your post?" Batman v Superman and The Force Awakens were tweaking each other with little social media crossovers during filming, but it appears this is the only one of those in-jokes made it to film.
Also, while orange prison jumpsuits certainly aren't just a DC Universe thing, Lex was looking a bit like Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's vision of the character from All-Star Superman in this scene.
The Lex of this film is "Alexander Luthor, Jr." Which means his father's name isn't "Lionel" as it was in the Smallville TV series or a handful of the comics that followed. Something tells me that Alex Sr. didn't die of natural causes.
Luthor has been something of a jerk-of-all-trades during his career, from straight mad scientist to captain of industry to President of the United States. I wrote much more about that stuff right here.
Mercy Graves is Lex Luthor's bodyguard, a super strong badass, although you don't see any of that in this movie. Mercy was first introduced in Superman: The Animated Series where she had considerably more to do than she does in this film, and has recently appeared on the Supergirl TV series.
Kryptonite
Let's get into a few notes about Kryptonite...
- It's amazing that Man of Steel went an entire movie without going down the Kryptonite road, but we do finally get it here. Kryptonite was actually a creation of the (awesome) Adventures of Superman radio show, a necessary plot device so that original Man of Steel Bud Collyer could take a vacation from the radio show's punishing, almost daily schedule. For weeks, Superman was played by another actor, who was only required to groan in agony while Supes was at the mercy of the alien mineral.
- Here's something I never would have noticed (thanks to JACS in the comments!). Ralph Lister is credited as Emmett Vale, and he isn't the guy who finds the hunk of Kryptonite in the Indian Ocean as I initially thought, but he appears in Lex Luthor's laboratory. Dr. Vale is the creator of Metallo, the cyborg with the Kryptonite heart who would be a great choice to give Superman a headache if we were ever going to get another Superman solo movie, but since who knows if that will ever happen, well...forget it.
The way Kryptonite looks in this movie is a little like how it was shown in Superman: The Movie. Later in that film, when Supes is debilitated by the effects of Batman's Kryptonite spear, Lois chucks it in the water to get it away from him. That kinda' reminds me of the Supes/Miss Teschmacher exchange from the end of that movie, too.
Speaking of that Kryptonite spear, wireman (cool handle, by the way) in the comments found this little gem from the comics, that I wasn't aware of:
The Dark Knight Returns Influences
In The Dark Knight Returns, a comic which obviously has influenced this movie quite heavily, when Batman first returns to action he lends a hand to two cops in pursuit of suspects, one who isn't old enough to remember Batman in action, and one veteran who advises him to chill out and enjoy the show.
The rookie cop and the veteran cop, who Batman encounters while out whupping ass, remind me a little bit of this pair from Dark Knight Returns:
It can also be noted that this exchange played out much the same way in 2012's The Dark Knight Rises when Christian Bale's Batman first returns from retirement, much like in the iconic Frank Miller graphic novel.
By the way, the two officers in question are named "Officer Rucka" and "Officer Mazzucchelli." Greg Rucka was the writer of the excellent Gotham Central comic, and David Mazzucchelli was the artist on Frank Miller's other great Batman story, Batman: Year One.
The news montage (which, rather surprisingly, features a cameo by Andrew Sullivan!) is another nod to The Dark Knight Returns, which helped set up its near-future vision of the DCU via TV news clips. You may recognize some of the anti-superhero sentiment from these, as well. Also, we get the return of Glen Woodburn from Man of Steel, too.
read more: Ranking the Superman Movies
- Alfred's quote about "the next generation of Waynes" facing "an empty wine cellar" is lifted straight out of The Dark Knight Returns. You're going to read words very much like that a lot in the course of this article.
While most Batman costumes are fairly similar in essence, the proportions and lines on this particular version are also right out Frank Miller's artwork:
Pretty cool, right?
The bit with Batman sighting a rifle atop a tower calls to mind still more stuff from Dark Knight Returns, albeit there it was a "grappling hook" gun, while here it's to fire a tracer.
- Also, I don't suppose that I need to explain Bruce's "freaks dressed like clowns" joke, right? Of course I don't.
The shot of Superman lifting the Russian rocket (numbered 300 of course) over his head has a hint of this page from The Dark Knight Returns to it...
Batman's opening gambit in his fight with Superman is to hit him with a sonic blast, this (again) is straight out of Dark Knight Returns. Same with the Kryptonite dust/gas projectile.
There are lots of other direct similarities to the comics in that battle, too...
Look familiar? Check out that first panel on the left!
That armor looks pretty familiar too:
You get the idea, I'm sure.
- When Batman shows up to take out the KGBeast, the action comes right out of the first chapter of (say it with me now, kids!) The Dark Knight Returns. Batman bursts up out of the floor to whup ass. Batman bursts through the wall to take a giant honkin' gun from some dude. Batman says "I believe you" after armed asshat says "believe me, I'll kill her" and then takes him out. All from DKR. Just change the names of the goons.
During the Doomsday battle, complete with lightning bolts, we get a recreation of the cover of The Dark Knight Returns #1. No, seriously, check it out...
Told ya.
Also in Dark Knight Returns, Bruce is often brooding over a Robin costume in a glass case, and Alfred reminds him about "what happened to Jason..." which brings us to...
The Robin Connection
Needless to say, there's only one character who would have spray painted that on Robin's body, so this mirrors the events of the 1988 Batman comic event, "A Death in the Family," which allowed readers to decide (via a 1-900 number... those were different times) whether the second Robin would survive a brutal beating (with a crowbar) at the hands of the Joker and a subsequent warehouse explosion.
It's tough to really see the colors on this, and they're certainly muted, but the basic design certainly mirrors that of the first Tim Drake Robin costume, which also happened to be the first one in the main DC Universe continuity that looked genuinely badass.
It was designed by legendary Bat-artist Neal Adams and first brought to comics by Norm Breyfogle (thanks to our very own JL Bell for keeping me honest here!) and remains one of my favorite costume designs of all time. You can see Jason Todd's Robin costume in a similar glass case in the above image, as well.
It's never made clear which Robin this is supposed to be in the movie, but it's certainly Jason Todd. After all, there's a Nightwing movie in development and they can't do that if Dick Grayson is dead.
Zack Snyder clarified that whoever this Robin is, he died about ten years ago. He later specified that it's probably Dick Grayson. But since we know that this version of Batman has been active for at least 15 years (Alfred says 20), and that's about enough time for this to line up with the Jason Todd version of the character.
The Knightmare
During Batman's weird little nightmare/dream sequence, you can spot several clues as to the identity of the big villain of the DCEU. There's a gigantic Omega symbol in the sand, and Earth appears to have had fire pits (ala the planet Apokolips) installed.
Couple that with what appeared to be Parademons attacking the Dark Knight, and, well... it's looking more and more likely that Darkseid, Jack Kirby's most famous DC Comics creation (and one of the greatest comic book villains of all time) was supposed to make his debut in Justice League 2.
The strange symbol carved into the desert there is Darkseid's, while the winged creatures flying around are his Parademon minions...
For reference, here's what they look like when drawn by Jim Lee in the New 52 Justice League re-launch, which featured Darkseid as the team's first big threat, and which was clearly meant to inform their film efforts...
Also, the sharp-eyed JACS (who is quickly becoming the MVP of the comments on this thing) pointed out the similarities to Batman's Mad Max garb here and the nightmarish future Batman that Damian Wayne becomes during Grant Morrison's run as writer on the character.
Doomsday
- Doomsday was created by Dan Jurgens, Brett Breeding, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson, and Roger Stern in 1992 with the express purpose of killing Superman dead and driving up sales. He succeeded in all possible respects in Superman #75.
Doomsday's Kryptonian origins weren't revealed until much later, although he was never a Frankenstein's Monster version of Zod, nor did he have Lex Luthor's DNA, nor did he... ummm... you get the point. But the idea of Doomsday as a highly evolved/continuously evolving killing machine came right out of the comics, as does the "he grows more spikes as he takes damage" thing.
- When Superman and Doomsday take their battle to Stryker's Island, we're told it's uninhabited. In the comics, Stryker's Island is the home of a massive Metropolis penitentiary. Clearly that isn't the case here...unless in the bleak moral universe of the DCEU, the inhabitants of a prison are completely expendable forms of human life.
- Superman getting caught in a nuclear explosion, becoming a weird zombified thing, and then charging up/healing via the power of the sun comes straight out of a particular Batman story that has been referenced numerous times throughout this article... you have three guesses. Go ahead. Guess.
-Superman flying to almost certain death while carrying a Kryptonian object (albeit a much smaller one) also calls back to mind a similar storytelling beat from the end of Superman Returns.
- Lex Luthor in Zod's old ship, talking to the AI, feels similar to Lex's infiltration of the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II.
- Luthor using the ship to turn Zod's body into Doomsday is also quite reminiscent (intentionally or not) of Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor using Kryptonian crystals to make a giant Kryptonite continent in Superman Returns.
Also, when Lex is talking to Zod's corpse (oofah), he says "you flew too close to the sun." This is a reference to the myth of Icarus, which doesn't remotely seem to apply to anything regarding Zod's arc. Unless he means "you flew too close to the son," as in "The Last Son of Krypton," but somehow I don't think that much thought went into this scene.
read more: Complete Schedule of Upcoming DCEU Superhero Movies
- Lex didn't create Doomsday in the comics, but in many recent versions of the story, Lex did create Bizarro, notably as an imperfect Kryptonian duplicate. There's a little bit of a similarity to that here. Bizarro is, of course, not in the movie, despite some hilariously inaccurate rumors.
Miscellaneous Cool Stuff
- Clark bringing Lois flowers and groceries is faintly reminiscent of their brief shot at domestic bliss in Superman II where Superman famously cooked Lois a souflee using heat vision, and flew around the world to get her some nice tropical flowers. This scene also illustrates the age old Supes/Lois problem, where she knows that he "belongs to the world" and not to her.
- Pery White refers to Clark as "Smallville" more than once in the film. That was Lois Lane's affectionate/condescending nickname for Clark on Superman: The Animated Series, which is an excellent way to spend your time, I might add.
Later, while admonishing Clark for actually, y'know, wanting to be a reporter and tell the truth, Perry says, "It's not 1938 anymore." 1938 is, of course, the year that Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman, was published. In other words, here's Perry White speaking for Zack Snyder, telling fans to stop whining over the fact that Superman doesn't behave very much like Superman in these movies.
- It appears that the Metropolis News channel, Channel 8, is indeed a GBS/Galaxy Broadcasting affiliate station. You can also spot a GBS microphone during a press conference later on, which is perhaps representative of their cable outlet or something similar.
- You can spot a mention of Gotham's Blackgate Prison when Clark is doing his investigation into Batman.
Incidentally, the Ultimate Edition has a lot more going on as far as Clark's investigative reporting, and that along with Henry Cavill's performance remind me quite abit of the better moments of the 1950s Adventures of Superman TV series. George Reeves routinely played Clark has a hard-edged reporter, and Cavill definitely channels some of that here.
read more - Men of Steel: 11 Actors Who Have Played Superman on Screen
- Bruce Wayne's "one percent chance" logic is childish and horrifying, and sounds like something Donald Trump would say about immigrants. It certainly was the logic that Dick Cheney used to condone "enhanced interrogation techniques."
- You can spot "Nicholson Terminal," which the Batmobile obliterates. Maybe this is a nod to Jack Nicholson's iconic take on the Joker. Maybe it isn't. Does this movie really ever make sense?
- When Senator Finch is asked "Must there be a Superman" well, that's a reference to a classic Superman tale. Not just any classic Superman story, either. The first published Superman story by Supes-writer extraordinaire, Elliott S! Maggin (that's not a typo) in Superman #247 from 1972. That story is far more nuanced and interesting in its 24 pages than this movie in its two and a half hours, and it's 100 percent worth reading.
- There's a pretty hilarious Wilhelm Scream when the Batmobile overturns some poor hood's car.
- Ma Kent's "you don't owe this world a thing" speech marks the return of evil, dystopian, Hunger Games Smallville logic to the series. For real, is it any wonder that the DCEU's Clark Kent is such a brooding mope? Between stuff like this and hallucination Pa Kent telling Clark about the time he drowned a bunch of horses by accident, it's a miracle that Superman isn't just snapping necks like... oh, wait, he already did that.
read more: Does Superman Have a Future in the DCEU?
- Hey, remember when the internet said that Scoot McNairy was playing Hal Jordan/Jimmy Olsen/Ted Kord/Morgan Edge/Che Guevara/Spider-Man/Ad Nauseum? Yeah. That didn't happen. He's Wallace Keefe, a character we've never heard of. The only Keef I give a damn about is Richards.
- Ma Kent is now working at Rolli's Diner. Now, there's two smaller Lex Luthor stories from the comics that Rolli's ties into. Superman #9 (1987) featured a backup story called "Metropolis, 900 miles" which dealt with Lex Luthor offering a kind of "indecent proposal" to a waitress at Rolli's.
Lex's kidnapping of Martha Kent is also kinda' like a story from Superman #2 (1987) where he kidnapped Lana Lang after he figured out that young Superman had ties to Smallville. He ended up figuring out that Superman was Clark Kent but refused to believe it.
- In the background during these scenes there's a prominent piece of question mark graffiti, which may or may not be a reference to the Riddler. There's some "Who Watches the Watchmen?" graffiti (not in this image), too.
- Lois boards a red helicopter on the Daily Planet rooftop, which reminds me of the best scene in the best Superman movie, the immortal Superman: The Movie.
The Justice League Connection
- So, in case you cannot tell because he's almost unrecognizable, the lightning tornado dream sequence echo voice thing is the DC Extended Universe version of The Flash (and that's Ezra Miller in the role). The Flash appearing in mysterious form, kind of like a dream, and possibly from a different point in time, is very much a reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths where Flash was appearing to various heroes trying to warn them of what was to come while he was busy dying later in the story fighting the very same threat.
Flash also seems to be teasing something about Lois Lane being "the key." If Bruce is right about Superman, that means Flash is speaking to Bruce from a time in the future where Superman has become a threat, perhaps because of the death of Lois Lane...or maybe Lois is the key to turning him good again, or bringing him back to life.
This could be a reference to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game and comics, which features a morally compromised DC Universe where heroes fight each other and Superman is a terrible person. So, you know, that sounds awfully familiar all of a sudden, doesn't it?
We wrote more about the Injustice comics right here, if you're interested. I'm saving some more about the implications of this for another article, too.
- I'm sure you all realized that was Jason Momoa as Aquaman during the underwater sequence, right? His look here is reminiscent of how he appeared on the excellent Justice League animated series and his mid-90s makeover.
- The weird horror movie/RoboCop sequence is the origin of Cyborg, played by Ray Fisher, who made his next appearance in Justice League. He was scheduled to get his own movie in 2020, but that no longer appears to be happening.
read more: Every DCEU Easter Egg in the Aquaman Movie
One cool thing about that scene is that the weird cube thing that apparently makes the Cyborg project successful is a Mother Box, which makes this the film's second overt Jack Kirby reference, and the imminent arrival of Steppenwolf as the villain of Justice League.
Wonder Woman
- By the way, Wonder Woman first appeared in All Star Comics #8 in 1941, but the Wonder Woman in this movie is even older than that. Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman garb is reminiscent of how artists like Alex Ross drew her in Kingdom Come and Darwyn Cooke did in New Frontier to make her look more like the warrior princess she's traditionally depicted as.
You can also spot Chris Pine as Steve Trevor in that photo from 1918 and the rest of his World War I crew that we got to meet in her movie.
Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman performance is even better with a little more context after seeing her in action in her solo flick. For example, I only just noticed how immediately bored/disgusted she is with Lex Luthor when he's giving his little speech at the party. She sees right through him. It's awesome.
The Death of Superman
A few notes about the "death" of Superman...
I have to admit, this is really cool. Remember all the Excalibur stuff up top? It's back! A few of you sharp-eyed folks pointed out the similarities to this scene in Boorman's flick, and they are undeniable...
Video of Excalibur Mordred's death
- When you see his body cradled by Lois Lane, it's a nod to Dan Jurgens and Brett Breeding's art from Superman #75.
- In the Ultimate Edition, before Lex is captured, he's seen communing with a mysterious figure on the ship. This is likely Steppenwolf, the villain of the Justice League movie, although there's a slight chance it's Yuga Khan, the father of Darkseid. But really, it's probably Steppenwolf.
- Ending on "Amazing Grace" and an ambiguous/hopeful note is more than a little reminiscent of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which featured the death of Spock. Superman has somehow managed to show even less emotion and seemed even more alien than Spock ever did in this franchise so far, so it's really, really appropriate.
- You can see the weird little telekinetic effect that was used to show that Superman's powers were about to manifest in Man of Steel. So, y'know, of course he's not dead.
I explained the implications of Superman's death and the ending of this movie in greater detail here.
- Superman's coffin is black with a silver "S" logo. When Superman returned from the dead during the Death and Return of Superman story in the '90s, he wore a black suit with a silver "S" on it.
- By the way, it's worth noting that Warner Bros. has been trying to kill Superman on screen since at least 1995. Virtually every draft of every Superman movie of the last twenty years featured some form of Superman getting croaked (occasionally at the hands of Doomsday), while most others at least teased, it, too...including Superman Returns.
- To bring things full circle, I should also bring up the fact that The Dark Knight Returns also ends a "death" albeit Batman's (he isn't really dead, either). That hopeful ending involves Superman overhearing Bruce's heartbeat. Some folks claim they can hear a heartbeat as we zoom in on Clark's coffin, and that's another DKR reference for you!
Mike Cecchini is the Editor in Chief of Den of Geek. You can read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @wayoutstuff.
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Bonus- Star Wars Re-Watch notes
As a follow-up to the Star Wars reviews I’ve been posting for the past few weeks, I decided to post the notes I made during my re-watches for the movies. The only movie that isn’t included among these notes will be the ones for Solo. That’s because I wasn’t able to take notes in the thearte.
Hope you enjoy
Phantom Menace notes-
• I wonder if they’ll ever change the logo to 21st Century Fox. • So this all started with the debate on taxation for intergalactic trades? Why does this remind me of how the revolutionary war started? • Hah. Female C3PO. • Why is that catchphrase mostly associated with Han when everybody has had a chance saying it? • If they didn’t want them to be recognized as Jedi, why wouldn’t they go in disguise? • RIP, random unnamed people. • Force Power = Holding your breath for an extended period of time? • Hate to break it to you, Amadala, but I don’t think they’re interested in a peaceful negotiations. • Hi, Jar Jar! • Love that line, Qui Gon. • So, they just happen to be carrying underwater breathing apparatuses? • If it’s that easy to enter the bubble houses, do many fishes accidently end up in there? • Oh, I love the elaborate fauna that exists in this world! • Did he just knock Jar Jar out with the Force? • How did the Queen manage to change clothes so quickly with the invasion going on? • I’m no expert, but I don’t think a contract is legal if it’s signed under duress. • Haha. I gotta admit, I love that droid’s sass. • Surprised no one got grazed with all the gunfire. • Hi, R2! • That was a lucky shot. • R2 was catty even back then. • Of course everyone was blown up except for R2. • Lesser of two evils, I guess. Reminds me of that scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender. When Zuko and Iroh were trying to decide if they should risk getting caught by Azula or venture into the Earth Kindgom where they were considered enemies. • What’s Darth Maul’s story? • So, what’s the relationship between Naboo people and the Gungans? Do they normally remain segregated? • Why would R2 be going with them? • Has Anakin never seen a young girl before? • So Watto’s species is naturally smarter than Gungans? • Why would Jar Jar think that a good idea? Do they not have merchants in Gungan City? • Wait. So….they can’t send transmissions, but they can receive them without an issue? • How can a protocol droid help his mom? Especially since she’s a slave? • Also, how would Anakin have the time and resources to build one? • Revenge for what? • So you’re saying only Force-sensitive people can participate in Pod Races? Or are humans usually less agile than other species? • Hang on. So Watto enters this kid into the Pod Races, but he won’t let him build his own racer? • Great, a Jesus kid. • So, only Padmé cares enough to help free him from the jet engine thing? • How’d he get cut again? • Ah, the Midichlorian thing. • So, has Darth Maul been visiting every planet systematically? • So, who’s Ani’s friend? Why would he have come to the race when the other kids didn’t? • So. I’m guessing the main languages of Tattoine are Huttanese and Basic? • Hmm. Are those flags representing the racers’ native planets? • What a dirty cheater! He’s that threatened by this one kid, or is doing that to all the other racers? • Who’s the other Hutt with Jabba? • And now we commence with the boredom. • Wait, was that Willow? • The Tuskin Raiders must be pretty bored to be waiting around to shoot at the racers. • What exactly is the route for this race? • Did he just Force Command that loose bit of pipe? • Well, that backfired on Sebulba. • JAWAS! • The Hutts must be pretty scary, if the threat of going to them is enough to get Watto to relent. • What kind of undershirt is that, anyway? It looks like it’s made of sticks • Why were they running? Did they know they were being chased? • Another small hint of who Padmé really is. • Why would she need to remember him? Was it specifically stated they’d be parting ways? • You’ve known each other for three days. Why would they care for each other already? • Did Jar Jar just comment on the Queen’s attractiveness? • Another costume change? • I like Mace Windu. There’s just something about him that puts you at ease. • He’s not as awesome as Yoda, though. • Is that Padmé or the decoy? • How old do you have to be to become a Jedi? Do you have to be a toddler? • Never understood how fear could lead to anger. Like, what if you’re afraid of leeches? Or Vermicious Knids? How would that fear lead to anger? • Awww. They should have gone with Bali of Alderaan. He’s a cool guy! • So, is Palpatine a native of Naboo? • Oh, is this where Obi Wan got the whole Point of View thing from? • How many times does this Queen change outfits? • What a twist! • So, the Gungans are basically canon fodder? • Is that the same technology they used to make the bubble city? What exactly keeps the blaster fire out but lets actual people in? • Is that really the best hiding place Anakin could find? • Yeah, ‘I’ll try to override it,’ he says. While reaching for the helmet. He’s totally doing this on purpose. • Who keeps designing these places with walkways over gaping pits? And not including railings? Seems like a pretty stupid architectural flaw. • Yeah, but you can still go back to the planet while staying in the cockpit. Just saying • What’s the purpose of these timed forcefields in this room? Why were they installed in the first place? • What’s that supposed to do, dude? • Yeah, that’s a death. • Why do we never see blood in these movies? • And of course the camera focuses on him when that question is asked. • What exactly is that static light ball?
Attack of the Clones Notes-
• So, basically, a bunch of planets are declaring themselves independent from the Republic? Why does this sound like how America declared independence from Britain? • Hi, R2! • Wow! Spoke too soon, dude! • Ah, so Padmé is still using decoys. RIP, Decoy Lady. • Hmm. Is Yoda suspicious of him? That look he gave Palpatine just now… • So it’s been ten years since Phantom Menace? • Oh, Anakin. Stop flirting with her. • Um…it might not be a smart idea to have this argument in front of them? Just a suggestion. • Anakin’s attraction to Padmé seems very creepy to me. He met her when he was nine. And they haven’t spoken since then. That’s not love, that’s obsession. • How’s that for a wake-up call? • Haha. ‘You’ll be the death of me.’ Nice foreshadowing, movie. • The Death Sticks scene. Classic. • Yeah, Jedi Masters. I respect you and all. But it’s probably a bad idea to send the hormonal 19 year old to act as bodyguard to his crush. • Shut up, Anakin. You could use a healthy dose of humility. • You’re not grown up! You’re 19 years old! Talk to me in 10 more years. • So, what’s the story behind Obi-Wan’s friendship with this Dax character? • Wait. If Droids could think? Is Obi-Wan racist against Droids? • Was that a sex joke? • Well, aren’t we overly confident, Librarian Lady? • Wow. Seems like everyone is racist against Droids. • Yoda, I love you. • So they really needed a kid to point out that the information about this planet was erased from the archives? That doesn’t say much for the adults in the Jedi order. • So on Naboo, the Queen is more of a president? Serving a few terms and then stepping down to allow a new ruler step in? • Is this the new Queen of Naboo? • Oh, Anakin. Shut up. You’re kinda unlikable. • That’s right, Obi-Wan. Play along. Don’t let them know you’re completely in the dark. • Padmé, how can you be seriously charmed by him? He’s being really creepy. • Ah. A bounty hunter is here. And you’re looking for a bounty hunter. Coincidence? • Suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that these clones look like Stormtroopers? • Are they really swapping first kiss stories? • You’re talking about a dictatorship. • And Padmé is on the same page as me. • PADMÉ! THE WARNING BELLS AREN’T GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD AFTER THAT REMARK?! HOW TIGHT IS THAT BRAID OF YOURS? I THINK IT’S CUTTING OFF THE BLOODFLOW TO YOUR BRAIN! • Yep. There’s the bounty hunter’s armor. • Am I supposed to ship these two? Cause I really don’t. • So. This order was made ten years ago. Right after the end of the last movie, perhaps? • You’re telling me that Anakin never was allowed to visit his mother at all in the past 10 years? I know Jedi mandate means you have to let go of your past, but come on. • Hello again, Watto. • Saturn Planet! Saturn is my favorite planet. • Baby Boba Fett is a very violent child. Laughing when he thinks his father just killed a Jedi. • Who finished building C3-PO? • Ah. Young Owen and Beru. • Why exactly would Tuskin Raiders abduct a woman? For what purpose? • Padmé is still changing her wardrobe in every single scene. Where does she get all her clothes? Does she have a team of seamstresses following her everywhere and making these things for her? • Cameo of the Jawas. • So these are the Separatists. • Oh, of course she doesn’t die until right after Anakin gets there. • Ooooh. Darth Vader theme. • Anakin, everything must die someday. It’s the natural order of things. • Sooo…..no concern over how he just confessed to committing genocide, Padmé? • Who do the other two graves belong to? • So it’s Padmé’s fault Anakin is defying the Jedi Council. • So Count Duku was the Jedi who taught Qui-Gon? • Well, the Jedi didn’t sense Darth Maul before he appeared before them. So it’s not that impossible that Darth Sidious eluded detection, too. Just saying. • So, what does Yoda think about Palpatine getting these supreme powers? • At least the décor for this epic battle scene makes sense. They’re in a robot manufacturing factory. • R2 can fly now? When did that become a thing? • How do you know R2 is always getting into trouble, 3PO? You’ve spent next to no amount of time with him outside of Tatooine. • You cut that a little close, R2. • Gotta admit. First time I saw this movie, I thought this was going to be how Anakin lost his hand. • Wow. So, we’re about to die. Now will be the perfect time to admit I’ve been falling in love with your creepy, obsessive personality. • Obi-Wan’s sass is delightful. • Oh, I LOVE the creatures in this world! And I really want a pet Nexu. • Smart move, Padmé. • Another Force Power- the ability to tame animals. Awesome. • Mace Windu is awesome. • Ouch! Yeah, that’ll leave a mark! • 3PO really is pointless. • Perfect timing, Yoda. You’re the best. • Um… Is Daddy Bounty Hunter’s head still inside his helmet? Baby Boba Fett is going to have quite the job scrubbing the blood off the interior • Death Star blueprints! • Does Yoda sense something? • You kinda asked for that, Anakin. Only fools rush in. • Why do they never bleed when they lose a limb? • YEAH! GO YODA! • So Yoda taught Dooku, who taught Qui-Gon, who taught Obi-Wan. • And Dooku escapes, despite everyone’s best efforts. • Imperial March theme! • Still don’t get why Padme fell for this creep.
Clone Wars notes-
• Ha! Text crawl! • Oh, no text crawl • What is this? A documentary announcer? • Jabba the Hutt has a son? • Why is it always Obi-Wan and Anakin? Oh, right- they’re the main characters. • What was it Mace Windu said about Jedi? That they were keepers of the peace and not soldiers? That’s sure changed. Obi-Wan is a general now. • Wait. Did Obi-Wan say he got a new Padawan? I thought you could only have one Padawan at a time. That’s what they said in Phantom Menace. Isn’t Anakin still Obi-Wan’s Padawan? • Wait, she’s Anakin’s Padawan? How? I thought only Jedi Masters could train Padawans. Since when is Anakin a Jedi Master? • How old is Ahsoka Tano supposed to be? Anakin is saying she’s too young to be a Padawan. But he was nine when he started training under Obi-Wan. • Jedi don’t run? That seems like a dumb rule? • Oh, Obi-Wan. You’re kinda extra, aren’t you? • How does it feel to deal with such an impulsive, headstrong Padawan, Anakin? Now you know how Obi-Wan felt. • I just noticed. Since when does Anakin have a purple lightsaber? Yeah, his lightsaber broke in Attack of the Clones, but….didn’t he have a blue one in Revenge of the Sith? • And Anakin is still a jerk. • Does Anakin have a grudge against the Hutts? Considering he lived on Tatooine…. • Wow. That’s brutal! • Hmm... I kinda like this background music. • Aw, a Pink Astromech droid with R2? I ship it! • Too bad you never learned the lesson about humility, Anakin. • Is the protocol Droid Jabba’s utilizing the one we saw being ripped apart in Return of the Jedi? • So who’s this lady? • We still have an hour left? What more is there to say? They found the Baby Hutt. • Oh, that’s a diabolical move, Dooku. Framing the Jedi for the son’s kidnapping. • Does Baby Hutt speak yet? If so, he’d be able to set the record straight to his father. • Wilhelm Scream! • Why does he call her Snips? I think I missed the reasoning for that nickname. • Props to this guy. That was a brave move. • Do they know Mystery Lady? • Captain Rex is pretty cool. • I guess Baby Hutt physiological system isn’t compatible to this planet. Is that why he’s sick? • Seriously, who is this Vestris person? • Okay, I know the Soldier Droids are the bad guys, but they’re hilarious. • RIP to those guys. • Well, that some getaway. • Wow, she’d make a good babysitter. • Ohhhh. He was remembering how the Tuskin Raiders killed Shmi, wasn’t he? • Wow. So you’re claiming that Baby Hutt is dead now? You’re gonna look mighty silly when he shows up alive and well. • Oh, hi, Padmé. I didn’t think you’d appear in this movie. • Did R2 complain like that the first time he went to Tatooine? Just saying, he’s been there twice before. By now, you’d think he’d be used to it. • Wow! They’re playing a different song? • Hey, who’s this voice actor? He sounds familiar. • Well, that didn’t accomplish anything. • Oh, don’t get Anakin started on sand, Ahsoka. • Ah, maybe that scene wasn’t so pointless. • Oh. Uncle Hutt is helping Dooku. Now it makes sense. • How are you going to get out of this one, Padmé? • Hehe. I like Baby Hutt. • Ah. So 3PO now hangs around with Padmé the way R2 hangs around with Anakin. I find that interesting since 3PO later sticks with their daughter and R2 is closest to the son. • I knew it! He sent Ahsoka ahead with Baby Hutt. • R2, I think Ahsoka could use a little bit of help. • Oh, I was gonna say. I didn’t think 3PO would have come here on his own. • Doesn’t Anakin speak Huttnese? Why didn’t he react until after the translation? • Kinda ironic. Anakin helps save Jabba’s son, and Anakin’s daughter will eventually kill Jabba.
Revenge of the Sith notes-
• Huh. Another kidnapping plot • Kinda like how Obi-Wan has kept R4 as his signature Droid. • Um… you might want to keep it down, Obi-Wan. R2 is still in enemy territory. • Why is Anakin listening to him? The fact that he’s ordering the death of someone without a trial isn’t very befitting of someone who claims to be a fan of democracy • Again with the Tusken Raider sounds. • Why isn’t Palpatine’s attitude making Anakin suspicious? • Wilhelm Scream! • Well, that was a conveniently placed open door in the elevator shaft. • Where did this Grievous guy come from, anyway? They pretty much introduce him out of nowhere. • I just thought. Where did R4 go? Did I miss that? • Oh, I guess she was destroyed during that gunfight. Shame. • Didn’t Obi-Wan try to discourage Anakin from getting too chummy with the politicians? What changed his mind? • Okay, I don’t ship these two, but I admit. I can appreciate the situation they’ve found themselves in with this pregnancy • Ugh. This sappy dialogue. Gag. • So Padmé is planning to go in ‘vacation’ for a few months? • Wise words from Yoda. Shame he wasn’t there after Shmi died. • Again, why isn’t Anakin’s attitude about less democracy causing more concern? • Since when does Palpatine need to be represented on the Jedi Council? • Yeah, Anakin isn’t a Jedi Master. So why was he given a Padawan in the Clone Wars series? • Can we get that story? The one that shows how Yoda is on good relations with the Wookiees? • It’s treason to spy on the Chancellor? Well, wasn’t he basically asking you to spy on the Jedi Council? • Oh, he’s a good man, is he? Yeah, he only told you to kill Count Dooku in cold blood and then expected you to leave Obi-Wan to die. Yeah, he sounds LOVELY. • Oh, NOW you’ve considered the possibility that you misinterpreted the prophecy? • I like how Padmé is also having her doubts. Because the Republic has become more of a dictatorship than a democracy. • And no one is going to point out how that statement about being unable to let go of their power might apply to this guy? The one who stayed in office longer than he was supposed to? • That sounds horrible. Preventing people from dying. • Let me guess. You were that apprentice, weren’t you? • Ugh. The Wookiee roars. • Was that a Tarzan yell? • Does Obi-Wan know they’re secretly married? • Dracula alien? • Oh, I want one! I want the bird lizard! • Nice. Four lightsabers. • What was up with the camera zoom into the eyes? Never do that again, movie! • Okay, so Palpatine isn’t even pretending he hasn’t studied the Force anymore. • Oh. That was….a bit anti-climactic. • Okay, Anakin is doing the right thing here, reporting to Mace Windu. • Can they sense each other? Is that’s what they’re trying to convey? • Welp, RIP to those guys. • Aw. I liked Windu. Booo. • Awww. Yoda is sensing this. • Really hope Lizard Birdie survived that fall. He seemed so nice! • Yep. Yoda is really feeling it now! • Sorry, dude. Yoda doesn’t go down that easily. • Oh, hi Bail! Did Padmé send you? • Shame this kid didn’t make it. He had guts, taking them all on at once. • So Chewbacca was around even back then. I wonder what a Wookiee’s lifespan is. • Hey, don’t leave out the fact that the Chancellor is a Sith! • Great line from Padmé. • Yoda’s already checked the security footage, hasn’t he? • I really get the feeling Obi-Wan already knew they married in secret. • Oh, so NOW she’s hearing the things he’s saying. • YEAH! I love Yoda! He’s awesome! • Okay, this scene is pretty heartbreaking, I will admit. • So, how far along is Padmé supposed to be? If Padmé is visibly pregnant, did anyone ever wonder who the father was? • Yeek, Anakin is a stubborn one. Burned alive and he hasn’t died yet? • Hi, Luke and Leia. • Nice POV shot there. • RIP, Padmé. • Oh, NOW you care about Padmé? Didn’t seem that way when you were keeping her in a Force Chokehold • Okay, I get why they want to keep the twins hidden, but…. isn’t that kind of obvious, to send Baby Luke to his father’s stepbrother? Granted they only met once, but…..you’d think that would be an obvious place. • So R2 didn’t get his memory erased. Meaning he remembers ALL of this! • Awesome how they’re playing everyone’s theme songs over this sequence. • And I love this final shot. Great way to end it.
Rouge One notes-
• Planet! • A Saturn-like planet! • I can’t remember. Do they ever explain the significance of that crystal pendant? • Okay, I get that Lyra loves her husband and all, but why would she run out like that? It seemed like they had this whole escape plan worked out. Besides, she had a responsibility to be there for her child. • Well, I guess she figured this bloke would be there to step in, but still! • And now Jyn is in jail. For what, exactly? • Ring of Kafrene. This trading post place is on an asteroid, from the looks of it. How do they maintain a breathable atmosphere? • Kyber Crystals? • Well, that was kinda a jerk move. • This planet is called Jedha? Is the fact that it kinda sounds like Jedi relevant. Based on that fallen statue, was this the site of a sacred Jedi temple? • I wonder what these other guys’ stories are…? • Okay, so they came here specifically to get Jyn? How did they know she was there? • Hi, K2S0! • So this is Yaven 4, right? • Wow, they got a good replacement for Mon Motha. She looks just like the original actress! • Bail Organa! Why did they give you the Luke theme just now? • And was that the other Rebel leader? The one who briefs everyone before the battle of the First Death Star? • Hi, Tarkin. RIP, Peter Cushing. • Ah, so this is the site of an old Jedi temple? • Okay, but what do you plan to do when you find out that he’s not lying, dude? • Hey, those are the guys from Mos Eisley! Are they currently on their way to Tatooine? Considering what happens to this planet in a couple hours…. • So, what’s this guy’s story? I get he was once a guardian of the Jedi Temple, but….was he Force Sensitive but just didn’t have a Jedi to train him? Because I’m guessing he sees through the Force. • Where’d she learn to fight like that? • Nice fake out. • Seriously, you can’t tell me this guy isn’t Force Sensitive! • Really wish we learned out how these two guys met. • Haha! ‘Are you kidding me? I’m blind!’ I love the humor in this movie. • Okay, I get you were trying to keep her safe. But it was a jerk move that you went about it that way. You could have at least been honest about why you were sending her away. • So, according to this movie, the Death Star has a ‘volume’ button of sorts. • I’m guessing these six are the only people who made it out of the area alive? • I wonder. Did Yoda and Obi-Wan sense this event through the Force? • Ah, can’t do it, can you? • Dude! That was uncalled for! He just told you they had nothing to do with it! • How was this guy not initiated into the Jedi order? • This is actually pretty good social commentary on what war does to soldiers, and the dangers of following orders blindly. • Does Vader live on Mustafar now? You’d think he’d prefer to keep off this planet considering he believes this is where Padmé died. • Okay, I’m a bit confused. They want to keep the Death Star a secret. So how was it a good idea to destroy an entire planet roughly a week later? • Well, you’ve done a 180, Jyn. Just a short time ago, you were content to just live with your head in the sand. • Aw, Bail Organa. Wanting to contact Obi Wan again. Shame you had to remain on Alderaan. • Hehe. ‘Are we blind?!’ • Probably a weird thing to comment on, but why do only the Imperials have Mouse Droids? Why doesn’t the Rebellion have any? • Maybe because you’re a blabbermouth, 3PO? • Nice that their arc has been completed; her giving him the blaster. • Gotta say, Cassian. That was pretty stupid, calling him on the comlink at that precise moment. If he closed the door, don’t you think there might have been a good reason? • Hyperspace Tracking? Really? If they had eliminated that file when they did…. • Then again, there’s probably a copy on another planet. Considering this base will be destroyed in a few minutes….. • RIP, K2-SO. You were the best. • Same to you, Chirrut. • That thing was straight out of a video game! • Wow, that IS a cool move! • That’s one chilling image. • Kinda satisfying that this punk can see his death coming. • So, I’m a bit confused. Was Leia among the ships converging around Scarif? I thought she was supposed to go fetch Obi-Wan. Did she just decide to take a detour first?
A New Hope notes-
• This text crawl is even cooler now that we know the details of Rouge One. • Wait, this text says Leia is heading home. But wasn’t she going to Tatooine to fetch Obi-Wan? Though I realize George Lucas hadn’t ironed out the details yet. • Always wondered what the story was with that other Protocol Droid. The White 3PO. • How were they not hit while crossing the hallway? • Wasn’t R2 just with 3PO? How’d he manage to distance himself long enough to meet up with Leia? • Hey, they mentioned the mines on Kessel! • What kind of insult was that? What part of his statement warranted calling him a philosopher? • Pretty ballsy of Leia there, considering her ship just left Scarif. • Oh, shut up, 3PO. You haven’t even traveled that far. • Eh, forget about him, R2. You don’t need that whiny prissy pants. He’s useless. • Jawas! You know, I kinda wonder what they look like without those cloaks. • Well, that’s a convenient coincidence that they were both picked up by the same Jawas, despite going in different directions. • How does 3PO not know Leia? Is the restraining bolt altering his memory? • And how would you know that, Beru? Didn’t you only meet Anakin once in your life? • I never noticed how odd these scene transitions were. • What kind of a noise was that? • What? Since when did Anakin make any mention about wanting his son to have his old lightsaber? • So Palpatine has eliminated the Senate altogether? • Wait, he constructed it? I thought the credit to that went to Galen and Krennic? Who’s this clown? • Isn’t the Death Star already operational? • Yeah, so dangerous I won’t even bother going with you to assist you with my considerable powers. • Never quite understood what that orb thing was supposed to do. • I just thought. Why did Luke not know about the Force until Obi-Wan told him when practically everyone else had a conscious knowledge of it? Did his uncle purposely keep him in the dark? • So, what was this guy’s problem? And how did they get off Jedha before it went boom? • Corillia mention. Kinda cool how that ended up being Han’s home planet. • So the orb was a mind probe? • This scene seems pointless. Didn’t the Greedo scene cover all of this? Not to mention how Jabba is too small in comparison to how he looked in Return of the Jedi. • And it’s way too soon for Boba Fett to appear. • Didn’t they already buckle themselves in? Kinda silly that they unbuckled again to visit the cockpit. • Yeah…. Weren’t they supposed to keep the Death Star from being noticed? • I wonder if Obi-Wan sensed the destruction on Jedha and Scariff, too. • Isn’t the exact same way Chewbacca lost against Tobias? • Luke, you didn’t even hear about the Force until a few hours ago. • What was with that smile, Obi-Wan? Do you know something? • Heh. Vader starts gesturing AFTER he’s done talking. Bad dubbing work? • Interesting how everyone associated that statement with Han when everyone has said it. • Does Chewbacca know Obi-Wan was allies with Yoda? We did see him and Yoda were pals during the Clone Wars. • I want a mouse droid. • And Vader senses Obi-Wan’s presence. • How does Leia know Obi-Wan goes by Ben now? • Well, him and the Emperor….. Tarkin knows Palpatine can use the Force, too, right? • And Han just had to through in a loud yell as he jumped, didn’t he? • It’s just his imagination? Then what made that sound, genius? • I can’t believe that worked! Maybe it’s because of the whole Droid discrimination? • Huh. So those guys walking past in the background obviously have no peripheral vision. • Yeesh, Leia. Weren’t you on the Senate? I hope you didn’t insult all other non-humanoid species like that. • Wilhelm Scream! • So Luke just happens to have a tether cord on his belt? • Hey, who’s that other Astromech Droid? • This lightsaber battle is kinda boring when you remember their last battle had them surfing down a river of lava. • Does anyone else find it strange how Luke didn’t seem shocked by hearing Obi-Wan’s disembodied voice? • Heh. Gotta admire Leia’s decorum. She could have easily been all ‘oh, boo hoo, the guy you met yesterday died. It’s not as if your entire planet got blown up.’ • Big explosion for a one-man ship. • How on the world did you get all tangled up like that, 3PO? • Hey, don’t act like the Millennium Falcon can’t be tracked, Han. Enfrys Nest was able to track it, remember? • Didn’t you already know about the weak spot, Leia? Or are you still having doubts about Galen’s trustworthiness? • That was a pointless atmosphere shot. • Zebra Astromech Droid! • Kinda low-key disappointed we didn’t get a better idea of the friendship between Luke and this Biggs person. • Oh. Calling the fat guy Porkins. That was in poor taste. • Should have stayed on target. • Pride comes before a fall, Tarkin. • RIP, Biggs. We hadly knew thee. • I wonder when Vader starts to suspect that this might be his son….. • I wonder what made Han change his mind. Did he just decide he couldn’t ignore his conscience? • Did he just call her Carrie? • I wonder who loaned Luke that outfit, considering he only came here with the clothes on his back. • So why doesn’t Chewbacca get a metal, too? • And the movie tries to create tension by not revealing R2 is okay right away…..
Holiday Special notes-
• Pretty sure this opening text crawl was added in by Star Wars fans and wasn’t part of the original broadcast. • Jumping right into the action with Han and Chewbacca evading Star Destroyers. • This introduction segment makes it look like this is going to be a Star Wars-themed variety show. Well, if the shoe fits…. • I don’t remember most of these celebrities. • I want to know who decided against including subtitles in the scenes focusing on Chewbacca’s family. • Gotta say, it’s kinda hilarious. This is supposed to be a holiday. And they’re not letting the kid enjoy himself. • Wait. Do the Wookiees have garbage men on their planet? • Since when do they have cameras in the Star Wars universe that could enable them to have framed photographs? • Hey, the holographic chess board! • And the first pointless segment- Holographic acrobat parade. • And they’re giving the kid more chores. I thought it was a holiday on the Wookiee planet. Let the kid enjoy himself! • And Luke makes his cameo. • When did Luke meet these guys, anyway? And why does he have to do maintenance on his own ship? Doesn’t the Rebel Alliance have people for that? • Hey, if you’re not going to pay attention to R2’s warnings, you shouldn’t have asked him to keep an eye on the ship. • Well, that’s what you get for not listening to your Droid! • So….off-duty Imperials continue to wear their Imperial attire when they’re off the clock? • The Imperial guy couldn’t see right through that obviously coded message? • And they’re just recycling footage that never made it into the movie. • Okay, so are you going to stop forcing the kid to do chores? • Oh, no. We’re getting a cooking show now. • I wonder what the rates are for shipping Bantha meat to other planets. • Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir. WAAAAH! • How many arms does this cooking transgender lady have? • And back to Han and Chewbacca. • Now back to the Wookiees. • Why are you pronouncing Kashyyyk that way, guy? • Oh, it’s that merchant bloke. • Well, maybe they let you through because your ship wasn’t seen joining the attack against the Death Star. • Oh, goody! He got me something electrical that I have to put together myself! Exactly what every kid wants! • Oh, dear. This segment. • They were aware that kids would be watching this, right? I wonder how many parents went nuts and quickly changed the channel upon hearing what this woman was saying. • Is Grandpa Wookiee doing what I think he’s doing? • And she just starts singing. Well, I guess it’s better than the….alternative. They had to keep this Rated G, after all. • Oh, and we got Leia and 3PO. • How does everyone know Chewbacca’s family? • You can understand Chewbacca but not Mala? • Finally, 3PO is being useful! Too bad he couldn’t act as translator through the rest of the special • Even though I’ve just met you, old man, I trust you! • I notice they never really explain what Life Day is. • FAKE OUT! • Oh. The Nazi undertones are just seeping through the screen at this point. • And a Jefferson Starship music video. • And this is actually keeping the Imperials’ attention. • Well, then you’re a lousy general, guy. If you can’t always control your men…. • Wait. So you’re telling me someone makes animated cartoons about the members of the Rebel Alliance in this world? • Ah, a new planet. Pannah. • Is that the Purplesaurus Rex? • And Boba Fett • Who puts a sleeping virus on an amulet? And why were they after the amulet in the first place? • What, he can’t even watch his cartoons? • Well, this is convenient, that the Droids can intercept a transmission that’s being made miles away. • No, he’s not Vader’s right-hand man. He’s a bounty hunter. So Vader just hired him. • They have stuffed animals of Banthas in this universe? Wow. • Really? We get an instruction video now? • So this world has Droids and Androids? How come this is the only time we see an Android? • Maybe this is why. Androids keep malfunctioning and breaking down. • Ah, more recycled footage. • Is this really required viewing for all Imperials? • Hi, Bea Arthur. • Does this guy have a volcano in his head? • And he has six fingers. • Oh, this guy. Under normal circumstances, he’d be a bit of a jerk. He’s the guy who thinks the waitress/cashier/etc. is flirting with him by simply being friendly, as per her job’s requirements. • Is there really that much Rebel activity on Tatooine for them to impose a curfew on the whole planet? • Bea Arthur sings! • Oh. Volcano Head stayed! • Dang it, Kid! You can turn that thing off now! • Too late. • And he doesn’t immediately shoot the kid? • Ah, now Chewbacca and Han show up. • Wow, were Mama and Grandpa just standing around when Lumpy was being chased by the Stormtrooer? • Oh, this guy again. • What do you plan to do when they find the body? • What are they doing? • Now they’re in Snuggies? • Where are they? • Oh, no. It’s an entire Wookiee choir! • Wait, where did all of you guys come from!? • Han, didn’t you just go back to the Falcon? • Do the other Wookiees even know who these guys are? • Tree of Life? What are you….? • Oh. Carrie Fisher is singing. • Chewbacca looks dead! • And random footage from A New Hope, reminding us we could have been watching a better movie. • It’s still going? • Okay, Chewbaca. You and your family enjoy your invisible holiday dinner. • Finally! The end credits!
Empire Strikes Back notes-
• Yeah, the Yaven 4 base was probably compromised anyway, since Vader survived the battle. • Wait, why is Luke leading them now? Shouldn’t that be Leia’s job? • Ah, so Vader has figured out who Luke is, then? Wonder what tipped him off? Shame we couldn’t see his reaction to that. • Hmm. I wonder how Luke adjusted to being on this ice planet, considering he spent his entire life on a desert world. • Wow, Tauntan Creature. You couldn’t have warned him sooner? • I see you, movie, with you keep cutting to Leia so we can see her reaction to Han telling that other guy that he’s leaving. • Hehe. I wonder what all those other random people were thinking as they passed by. ‘Oh, boy, are those two at it again?’ • And when it comes to loyalty, Han gets top marks. • Well, that was convenient, that his lightsaber didn’t fall off before they reached the cave. • Didn’t Qui-Gon instruct you? Well, I guess Yoda technically instructed you, too, as he taught you about Force Ghosts. • Aw, it’s Rouge Two. *sniff* • So what earned this guy the prestige of being Rouge Two? • Ewwww. George Lucas did know about the twist involving these two by this point, didn’t he? If so, double ewwww. • Dang it, Chewbacca! Why’d you have to alert the Probe Droid to your presence? • What were you going to say, Luke? It looked like you were getting ready to say something. • So he can Force Choke Hold someone through a transmission. Wow, that’s actually impressive. • So it’s official now. R2 predominantly stays with Luke while 3PO is virtually claimed by Leia. Interesting how the twins claim the droid the parent of the same gender had. • How did the Falcon get this damaged in the first place? • Would have been nice if they were able to tell us what R2 was saying. Considering Basic uses a different alphabet. • I really do wonder if Han WAS secretly Force Sensitive . • Ah, our first hint of what Vader looks like without the helmet. • Yeah, you pretty much walked into that one, Leia. • Oh, and Tatooine wasn’t a strange place to find a Jedi Master? • So, obviously, Yoda knows who Luke is. Meaning he’s acting like this to get an idea of his true nature. But what about R2? Wouldn’t he be able to recognize Yoda? • Ah, unplanned L3 reference. • What was with that third hologram that fizzled out? Was the ship he was on that one that got hit? • Oh, was this how he figured it out? • Ah, Luke. You failed Yoda’s first test. • So….that means Mynocks were living in the Space Worm’s stomach? • Why are you taking the weapons? Yoda just told you that they weren’t needed. • So, obviously this was supposed to be symbolic of the fact that Luke could easily end up like Vader, but I wonder if it was also meant as deeper foreshadowing of who Vader really was…. • Hi, Boba Fett. • So, why exactly is Vader so interested in the Millennium Falcon? • Why does the Lightspeed feature still no work? • Dude, it was working!!! Why did you give up? • Seriously, Han is really proving how cleaver he is in this movie! • Ah, Boba Fett anticipated that maneuver. • So, have Han and Lando met since the events of Solo? • Yeah, another. That you didn’t bother to train at all. • I kinda like how we’re slowly but surely seeing Lando’s growing turmoil. A nice lead-up to his final turn to good. • I wonder. Does Vader recognize 3PO? • Hey! Someone actually installed railings! • Ice Cream Machine!!!! • So, was that a garbage chute? • What exactly is Luke hanging from? An anti-gravity device? • Well, he probably didn’t think you were ready to know, Luke. • Wonder how L3 feels about the Falcon being piloted by Lando again.
Return of the Jedi notes-
• The Empire really loves their Death Stars, don’t they? You’d think they would have decided to cut their losses. • Why no subtitles? • They really don’t tell 3PO anything, do they? • Oh, now they give us subtitles! • Wow, that scene was kinda dark. • Ugh, what is this song? What was wrong with the last one? Hasn’t Lucas heard that less is more? • Didn’t they say they were putting a restraining bolt on 3PO? • Hi, Lando! • So, with all the changes they made, they couldn’t make that effect look better? • How long were they waiting behind that curtain? • Yeah, how long has it been since the last movie? Luke’s strength in the Force seems to have gotten stronger. • I wonder. Does Jabba know he’s looking at the son of the Jedi who helped rescue his kidnapped son during the Clone Wars? • I wonder how long Lando was hiding out in this place. How many sacrifices to the Rancor has he seen? • Aw, I feel bad for the Rancor keeper. • Well, that was an unceremonious way for Boba to go out • Aw, I REALLY hope Max Rebo got off before that barge blew up! • How is his training now complete? Was he self-training between movies? • RIP, Yoda. • Oh, now he calls him Obi-Wan? After he repeatedly referred to him as Ben prior to this scene? • So why couldn’t they inform Luke of his sister before? I know they wanted to keep Leia’s identity a secret, but they could have mentioned a sister and introduced other potential candidates. • And Lando is a full-fledged Rebel, now? • Oh, Hi Mon Mothma! Where have you been hiding all this time? We’ve seen you helped found the Rebel Alliance with Bail Organa. So why are we only seeing her now? • So, what was with Han’s feeling? It’s not as if anything happens to the Millennium Falcon during the upcoming battle. • So Luke and Vader can sense each other’s presence, now? • This could be a good ride idea. Endor speeder bike tour! • And enter the Ewoks! • This is even cuter when you realize Wicket is roughly 6-years-old in Ewok years. • Of course you didn’t sense it, Emperor Palpatine. You underestimate the strength of family bonds. • What kind of animal was that? • Okay, I get the Ewoks have never seen a Droid before, but why do they think 3PO is a deity? • Hehe. Luke is so amused by this. • So, they plan on eating the guys, but Leia gets the guest of honor treatment? Odd. • I don’t get it. They think 3PO is a god, but they don’t listen when he tells them to release Luke, Han and Chewbacca? • Is 3PO giving a full recap of the last two movies? • How does Leia remember Padmé at all, considering she died when she and Luke were only a few minutes old? • Oh, you’ve always known, Leia? Then why were you kissing him in the last movie? • Well, would Padmé’s name hold meaning to you? • Bet that Ewok is having the time of his life! • Oh, Lando being clever and figuring it out! • Wow. That’s a lot of Imperials. • Really? They think it takes six troopers to capture one Droid? • And now that 3PO has served his purpose, he’s back to being useless and annoying • Ah, so Wedge is still around? Wonder why he didn’t play a bigger role in the movies other than one of the Rebel Pilots. • You’re telling me none of the retreating Imperials paid any mind to Luke dragging Vader along? • So, who repaired R2? • Ah, the new ending. • Okay, I’m totally okay with showing the other planets. But I do NOT LIKE this new ending music! Give me the Yub Nub song! • And get that Haden Christianson Anakin off my screen! Give me the original Sebastian Shaw Force Ghost!
Ewoks: Caravan of Courage notes-
• Oh, wow. The old logo for Lucasfilm! • And we have a narrator in this movie? • And there’s a troll. • Are those ponies? The Ewoks have Ponies, now? • With the narrator, this seems more like a nature documentary on Ewoks. • So this is Wicket’s family, then. He has a father, mother, two older brothers and a baby sibling. • They have goats, too? • Wait, the little girl is back at the ship? Then why couldn’t the parents find her before? • Haha. The Ewoks really don’t like male humans, do they? • Strange bonding scene between the girl and Wicket. • She just said she didn’t feel so good, Mace. I think it’s obvious she isn’t okay. • Ah, Ewok Slapstick. • Wait, so is this the Tree of Life they mentioned in the Holiday Special? • Mace, probably not a good idea to stick your hand into a strange hole in a tree on an unfamiliar planet. • Yep, that’s what you get! • And now we get a ferret? Why are all these Earth animals on Endor? • And now, Wicket is learning how to speak Basic? • Cindel, I know you’re a kid, but do the Ewoks look as if they have a starcruiser? • What do you mean, they’re just animals, Mace? This is the Star Wars universe. You must have seen other Alien species before. And the Ewoks are clearly sentient. • Was that a werewolf? • Mace, is it really smart to sneak out in the middle of the night? You know nothing about this moon, or what kind of nocturnal wildlife there is. • And now you’re building a fire? Wow, you’re dumb! • Finally! A strange Star Wars creature! Though the effects are laughable, compared to the Rancor. • And now the Ewoks are there? • So Lokrey the Shamin…can use magic? Magic exists in the Star Wars universe? Or is what they’re calling magic actually the Force? Can Ewoks be Force Sensitive? • The Giant Gorax, huh? • And the other Ewoks speak Basic now, too? How did they learn to speak Basic so well? • Okay, that was a nice moment. The Mama Ewok knowing her husband and sons are heading off on a journey they might not return from and reacting to it in an understandable way. • So we got Legendary Ewok Warriors, now? • So Deej and the two older brothers just get winged headdresses? What purpose would those serve? • Why do you think there’re stopping, Mace? They’re picking up their final band member. • Ah, a female Ewok. • So….what was this test supposed to do? The crystal turns into a lizard and then it’s a mouse? What did that mean? • And what’s the deal with this lake? How does it trap people below the surface? A little context would be nice, Narrator? • And we have a legion of Tinkerbells? • HAHA! I like that one Ewok. He just looks around at all the mayhem and decides to just go back to sleep. • So the fairy thing feeds on laughter? Is that what this supposed to convey? • That’s one powerful blaster to obliterate a rock. • Mace doesn’t recognize a spider web? • Okay, you destroyed the web. But how do you plan on getting back? • Did the spider survive the fall, or is this a different one? • So, two Ewoks weigh the same as a human? • Nice fake-out, movie. • Yeah, that’s right. You chopped down the spider web bridge. • So the Tinkerbell thing has a point in the movie. • Well, you got over your sorrow quickly, Mace. • Ah. So you’re all just going to Tarzan swing across the gorge? • Didn’t the rest of the Fairy Family get absorbed into the candle? • Ugh, what a sappy ending line from Mr. Narrator.
Battle for Endor notes-
• And we open on Cindel and Wicket • Hey, the principal from Breakfast Club! • And Wicket speaks fluent Basic now. • They have school in the Star Wars universe? • And we’re jumping right into the action. • She can turn into a crow? • She seems remarkably calm for someone whose mother and brother died. • Kid, your whole family is dead. I think it’s okay if you cry a little. • So the Ewoks are putting all their hope in Wicket and a 6-year-old? (I don’t know how old Wicket is in Ewok years, but I’m guessing he’s still a kid, too.) • And people say the Stormtroopers have horrible aim? • Um…. They’re not the least bit concerned by the pile of loose bones? • So you plan on catching the flying creature on a glider? • And they’re completely unharmed after crashing? At least have Cindel get some scrapes and abrasions. • And what is this guy supposed to be? • Cindel, you’re way too trusting. For all you know, this guy could be in league with the guys who killed your family. • Yes, this is a great idea. Go into someone’s house and immediately start snooping around. • Yeah, I get where this guy is coming from, but he’s not the least bit curious as to why this little kid is all alone? • Dude, they’re the ones who made the muffins! • Heh. He used reverse phycology just now, didn’t he? • Did I miss the part when they introduced that critter as Teek? • Well, we’re finally seeing Cindel experience some psychological scars. • So, I guess these guys don’t get how technology works and think it’s a magical talisman? • You can make a pie out of flowers? • Also, weren’t you going to go looking for where the Ewoks are being held? But instead, you go flower picking? • Noa, aren’t you the least bit concerned as to why they’re out in the woods without their parents? • Heh. Nice callback to the last movie. • And I guess Wicket has completely forgotten all about his family, and how they’re all probably being tortured and killed. • Okay, she can’t sing, but she’s only 6, so it’s okay. • And the Witch Lady found them? • Cindel’s the only one who hears the voice calling her name? • Oh. I hope that wasn’t a chamber pot. • Oh, now they hear the voice! • Again, Cindel is far too trusting. I know she’s a kid, but still. • Yeah, how do you explain technology to people who only know about magic? • What exactly was in that water? Alien Piranha? • Are they playing Sabbec? • Cindel! Don’t you know when to be quiet!? • Well, that was a clever stunt. • Heh. I see what you did there, movie. Nice continuity in hearing the guards crying out when he cut the rope. • Noa, I don’t think it’s your place to put Wicket in charge of the Ewoks. After all, his parents and brothers are probably there. • And the Ewoks now know how to use space cruiser guns? • Though I do like how the design of the gunner seats are similar to that of the Millennium Falcon. It finally feels like a Star Wars movie. • Ah. I guess that one is Deej. • Wow. Sword vs staff. • Though what is that head carving on Noa’s staff supposed to be? • Welp, that’s the end of that. • Oh, now Cindel is crying. She didn’t cry when her family were murdered, but she cries when she’s saying goodbye to Wicket? • So Teek lives with the Ewoks now?
The Force Awakens Notes-
• Yeah, that makes sense. Enough people looked at what the Empire did and said ‘yes, that was a brilliant idea!’ • Nice effect of the ship obscuring the planet there. • And there’s BB-8. • So, are we supposed to recognize this old man? • I almost commented on how this was the first time we saw blood in a Star Wars film, but I guess we kinda saw blood in A New Hope, when Obi Wan chopped off that guy’s arm. • So, what’s the story with this guy? I get the feeling he was an old friend of the family. Did he frequently have dinner with them? • I remember instantly liking this guy. It’s the first time we saw a Stormtrooper, or any member of the Empire, having a reaction to what they were doing. (Though the original Stormtroopers were all supposed to be clones of Jango Fett.) • So, was there a big battle on Jakku that we never knew about? Considering there are all these crashed Star Destroyers lying around. • Wow. That’s a really cool way to make food. • And an AT-AT Walker, too? What happened on this planet? • How do people understand the beeps and whistles? • Does Poe know who this guy really is? • I see you cleaned the blood off your helmet. • Think I heard a Wilhelm Scream! • So these guys were raised from infancy, I guess? Since they’ve only ever had numbers and not actual names. • I guess Luke’s name is even known throughout all of the First Order? • Were these the sinking sands that Rey was talking about? • I wonder how long he’s been walking through the desert. • Was there ever a headcount of how many applauded when the Millennium Falcon first appeared? • That was a risky maneuver! • Anger management, dude! • Also, I notice they mentioned the Falcon is a Corellian freighter. Not many people acknowledge that. • Hehe. The thumbs up from BB-8 • Hi, Han and Chewbacca! Long time, no see! • A Raptar? • Trillian Massacre? • Also, was there ever a book about how Han lost the Falcon? • Okay, cinematically, I get why these things didn’t eat Finn right away, but why didn’t he get eaten immediately like those other guys? • And they reveal who Kylo is in the middle of the film. • I think you impressed Han, Rey. • Heeee! The holographic chess board! • This looks like a nice planet to live on! • So he knows Finn isn’t really in the Resistance. • What do you mean, she’s an acquired taste? I loved Maz instantly! • Has nobody told this punk that Grandpa Anakin/Vader changed his mind and turned against the Dark Side? • So, what exactly triggers this vision of Rey’s? Is it the fact that Finn leaving is making her remember how she ended up on Jakku? • How did Maz find the lightsaber? Didn’t Luke lose it on Bespin? • They really love their Death Stars, don’t they? • Did Chewbacca ever use that thing before? • I think there was a book explaining the backstory between Finn and this other Stormtrooper. • Personally, I would have had the reveal that Poe survived be a bit more dramatic • So the Force can knock someone out now? • Ah, the Leia theme! • Oh, shut up, 3PO! • How long has it been since they saw each other? • Why were people apparently in an uproar over Leia not hugging Chewbacca? She just did! • Awww. I love the relationship between Poe and BB-8. • R2! • Who is this Snoke, anyway? • Bwaaahaahaa! Kylo’s actual face looks weird. This is the kind of face you’d think would be filled with acne. • I wonder what Rey’s Midichlorian count would be. • I LOVE THE STORMROOPERS’ REACTION!!!!! They’re like NOPE! • Hey, it’s Admiral Akbar! And is that Nien Nunb? • Heh. I kinda like how Han has become a believer in the Force. • Like that callback to A New Hope. • After all these years, they still use the same red alert sound? • When did Rey learn how to speak Wookiee? Is it just because of her heightened Force Sensitivity? • Okay, I know that one character is Carrie Fisher’s daughter. I wonder if she’ll play a larger role in Episode 9…. • Nice touch, showing Leia feeling Han’s death through the Force. • How exactly did they get ahead of them? • Interesting touch. When the two lightsabers touch, it turns purple. Nice attention to detail. • So now, the old Luke theme is Rey’s theme? • That’s cool, how she’s using the terrain in the fight. • Wait, why is the planet splitting apart again? • Oh, the fuel cells? Was that because of Chewbacca’s bombs? • So, what exactly triggered R2 to wake up? • Is that someone’s grave? Whose is it? • Hello, again, Luke!
The Last Jedi notes-
• The first time the Text Crawl is virtually pointless. Absolutely no time has passed since the last movie. • Heh. Is Poe just messing with him? Ah, yes he is. • Haha. Nice bit of humor with BB-8. • Okay, I get where Poe is coming from, but I think he’s letting his pride get the better of him here. • Yeah, they scored a victory, but at a cost. • Wow, that was an abrupt way to wake up from a coma. • Was nobody in the medical bay to stop Finn from walking around aimlessly? • Hahaha. • And the Porgs. • I just thought. What did Luke do with his ROTJ lightsaber? The one with the green blade? • Oh, is it inside the submerged X-Wing? • Did Luke not sense Han’s death? • Seriously, did no one tell this guy that Vader turned good in the end? • Well, if you didn’t want to be found, then who created the map? • Oh, is that where the blue milk comes from? These creatures? • That’s a big fish! • Is this the moment when Luke first realized Rey was Force Sensitive? • That’s a fair question, Luke. Your sister and everyone else deserves an explanation. • Admiral Akbar! • Well, they did foreshadow this in Rouge One. They had a file dedicated to Hyperspace Tracking in the Imperial database. • Oh, Leia and Kylo are sensing each other’s presence. • Mouse Droid! • Okay, this is an awkward scene, considering Carrie Fisher’s death. • Super Leia! • Haha! Chewbacca and the Porgs. • This is a nice reunion! • Love the callback! • So they killed Admiral Akbar off-screen? • I don’t like Holdo. • Okay, first time I saw this, I wondered if that bomber who sacrificed herself was Rose’s girlfriend or something. But they turned out to be sisters. • Hi, Maz. Bye Maz. • So they can communicate through the Force now? • I like the Caretaker Nuns. • Haha! Luke, you nerd! • So, this island has a similar area to that cave on Dagobah? • Oh, so that’s why he didn’t sense Han’s death, then? • That is a good question. • Oh! The rain crossed over! • Space horses! • Tragic backstory unlocked. • HAHAHA! • Luke does have a point. The Jedi Counsel overlooked quite a lot. • Wait, so this guy could open the cell door at any time? • I can’t be the only one who is reminded of Trico when I see these guys. • So you killed your father because he was holding you back? Is that what I’ve heard? • It’s like being in one of those mirrored elevators. • What is touching fingers supposed to do? • Yeesh. What a tangled web. • YODA! • Nice bit of wisdom from Yoda. • Wow, this movie is giving me whiplash. • Well, if they’d just TOLD HIM THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! • Okay, who even was Snoke? • Well, that was anti-climactic. • Dawww. I want a crystal fox! • Awww, I love Poe and BB-8’s bond. • Millennium Falcon! • Does Chewbacca keep that Porg? • He just said that, dude! • Well, okay for you, girl. But now everyone’s gonna die! • Okay, that scene is kinda hard to watch, considering…. • Haha. That was cool! • Oh, NOW you figure that out! • Oh, they’re both sensing Luke dying? • Didn’t they already meet? • And there are the Jedi texts. • So now what?
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a rec list with no theme other than awesomeness
or, a handful of fics that I’ve read recently (either for the first time, or the bajillionth)
Light Up My World Like Nobody Else by @lissadiane In which Stiles Stilinski has a little too much to drink, and steals a baby goat.
Trigger Warning by @thesuninside Derek goes home to New York shortly after the nogitsune is dealt with. He begins the long, slow climb toward mental health, and begins a text-based relationship with Stiles. Stiles, who is struggling with very real issues of guilt and consent, is climbing his own mental health mountain. Together, they’ll try to make it.
These Are the Days That Bind Us Together by @brookesbutler In which Stiles volunteers to go to Chicago with Derek and it’s awful. (Except it isn’t).
Cruising by @thepsychicclam Stiles and Scott spend Friday and Saturday nights cruising through town. All the kids do it. Stiles and Scott cruise around, confident and cool. Except, they’re totally not. Stiles and Scott are definitely not cool. They don’t have their own cruising posse, a caravan they ride around with, taking corners too fast and yelling out the windows at each other.They have Liam and Mason, two freshmen who sit in the back and complain about the choice of music.
Rebalance by @rhysiana When Derek loses his powers while saving Cora’s life, he gets sent to Stiles Stilinski, acupuncturist to the supernatural set, to try to fix him. He sincerely doubts it will work, but he’s run out of options.
Come Fly With Me (Or Don’t) by @stileshale Stiles is overworked and stressed out when his flight home gets delayed due to copious amounts of snow. He finds entertainment with one Derek Hale, whom he hasn’t seen since high school but really doesn’t mind getting reacquainted with.
Like Real People Do by @tatsukitty The ladies at the local yarn shop knew him by name now. Sometimes, he sat in one of the ancient soft armchairs in the store with them, frowning at his work as he struggled to maintain his tension.
“How’s it coming?” Edith asked, settling across from him in another chair, working on a delicate lace shawl with a pattern Derek couldn’t even fathom yet.
“It’s… better.” He hedged.
Wednesday Morning by @deepspacebison Derek's going to break, and Stiles is worried he's going to be the one to do it.
Written in the Stars by @quixoticity Derek Hale is a lucky guy. He's got a great family, good friends, and a fulfilling job as a tattoo artist. He's also one of the twenty-five per cent of the population born with a soul mark. He likes his life, but he's waiting for his soul-match. The odds of meeting them aren't great but hey, Derek's a lucky guy. He has faith. He can't believe how good his luck really is when one day his soul-match wanders right into his studio, all long limbs and copper eyes. There's just one problem: Stiles is there to get his soul mark covered up. Permanently.
Best Case Scenario by @ladyofthelog The fourth time Stiles breaks the fridge, Dad is less sympathetic.
“Stiles,” he says as Stiles holds the door steady for him to screw it back onto the chassis—there's new hardware involved this time, and not a little duct tape—
“I thought this werewolf thing was going to help.”
“Yeah, with the dementia,” Stiles says.
Fight Me, Helen by @witchspark Important OTP question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies?
Take Me Out to the Ballgame by @zjofierose It's all fun and games until someone catches a baseball with their face, Stiles.
In Which Laura is Never Going to Let Derek Live This Down by @omimouse A soulmate fic where you’ve got “Help! Save me!” on your wrist. So you do the martial arts classes, and ROTC, and get a concealed carry permit, you are READY, you are SO up for this… and then one day you’re at a friend’s house, and someone comes pounding down the stairs laughing and ducks behind you and goes “Help! Save me!” and that’s how you find out your soulmate was escaping a tickle fight.
Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by @zosofi “Three weeks,” Derek says.
“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.
“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…
“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“
“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”
“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.
Chasing the Horizon by @obroech Stiles nearly laughs and for a moment, he sits there trying to think of anything to say. "It's been a good year," he croaks at long last. "I got you back--I got you back and I was so scared I'd lose you, you know? I got out there; I backpacked across half of Europe with my best friends - I got to see the never less than perfectly composed Lydia Martin after a few days without showers or real beds. Scott and Allison got married, dad. I made a speech."
The Sheriff's expression softens and he smiles, reaching up and clapping Stiles' shoulder. "You did. I was there. You had Melissa, Scott and Allison in tears."
You Can Plunder My Dungeon Anytime by @13callieb Stiles is numb. “I’m a kid,” he repeats blankly. “I’m nearly seventeen. I’m a kid.”
“Um,” Scott says, or at least, the weird man-hybrid that Scott apparently is these days. “You’re twenty-seven. We had, like, a party.”
Thank You for this Dance by @matildajones Derek picks up another glass of champagne, and that’s when he sees him. A man stands at the edge of the room, chewing his lip and staring at the dance floor longingly. Every person walks past him. Derek must have done it a hundred times this evening.
A Strong Heart and a Nerve of Steel by @lupinus, @uraneia Stiles and Derek wake up married in Vegas. Well, they would have if it was legal. In which Stiles is the president's son, Derek is his bodyguard, and Papa President orders them to pretend to be in love for the sake of gay rights.
Seems to Me It’s Chemistry by @halffizzbin Awkward Nerd Derek has been crushing on Handsome Jock Stiles since forever—so getting paired with him on a Chemistry project is definitely the best/worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Somewhere to Start by @lissadiane Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.
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Scenario. Modern AU. MC is a National Security and Intelligence adviser. SLBP lords; retainers; side fellas and ninjas reactions and how they would work with her on a high profile risky case, taking into consideration she loves risks.
THIS IS SO COOL. Main lords + 5 ninjas (sorry, Kyoichiro).
Also, disclaimer: I’m not 100% clear on what national security/intelligence advisors actually do, but I’m under the impression that it’s a supervisory position that doesn’t involve much (if any?) legwork.
Nobunaga
Nobunaga is an up-and-coming political party leader who may or may not be trying to set a record for the highest number of death threats received per individual
MC advises him about security issues and safety measures, supervises his security detail
Nobu is confused and a little annoyed that some petite woman is trying to tell him what to do, eventually realises that she does know what she’s talking about, is a lot more interested after that
Tries to ask her out, gets rejected flatly, tries to cop a feel, gets decked
Plays fast and loose with his bodyguards and occasionally does reckless stuff if he feels that the situation calls for it (e.g. stopping to talk to constituents in an unsafe environment while his guards scream internally)
Partially does it so that MC will come and yell at him because she’s cute when she’s angry but he genuinely tries to take (most of) her recommendations seriously
Mitsuhide
Nobunaga’s long-suffering campaign manager and righthand man
Is fully confident in MC’s competence and lowkey turned on by it, has the utmost respect for her
Similarly, MC respects and admires his work ethic and competence
Sometimes they call each other when Nobu is being ultra uncooperative and they’re just like why do we work with him (but actually they both do respect him, he’s just… an asshole such a difficult person sometimes)
Bonding through shared suffering
Hideyoshi
Nobunaga’s second-in-command in the party
Gives excellent speeches, great relationship with fellow politicians and constituents alike
In charge of soothing the hurt feelings Nobu leaves in his wake
MC also handles his security detail but doesn’t see him very often because he is not as reckless as some other people
Tries to flirt with her occasionally because confident, capable women are awesome but she’s just like haha yeah whatever
Inuchiyo
Head of Nobunaga’s bodyguards, reports directly to MC
They go way back, childhood friends who entered the business together
MC specialises in planning, Inuchiyo specialises in executing those plans perfectly, (in)famous for being a killer combo, ready to back each other up at a moment’s notice
MC puts Inuchiyo with Nobunaga because he’s definitely her most troublesome charge
He’s slightly jealous of all those other guys who hit on MC but she always turns them away so at least there’s that
They regularly hang out in MC’s apartment, watching movies and drinking
Mitsunari
Head of Hideyoshi’s bodyguards, only started reporting directly to MC recently
Was brought in by Hideyoshi himself, so MC and Mitsunari are not familiar with each other
Knows MC by her reputation but not super confident in her because he always wants more background info on recent threats and incidents but she tells him it’s classified
Does not get along with Inuchiyo at all, therefore MC is a little untrustworthy by association
A major showdown will come at some point, wait for it
Shingen
Also leader of a political party, Nobunaga’s chief opponent
The first time they meet, he assumes that she’ll go out to dinner with him, is shocked when she’s like sorry I’ve got work to do, please bear my advice in mind, thanks for coming, bye
Constantly hits on MC, to the point where she threatens to put someone else in charge of him
Very impressed by her capabilities and her sharp mind, likes her dedication towards her job
MC secretly wonders how the hell this guy hasn’t had an illegitimate child/sex scandal yet
Sasuke
Shingen’s head bodyguard, reports directly to MC
Laughs at Shingen a lot when he gets shot down by MC
Gets along well with MC, likes her spunkiness and drive to excel
Has zero romantic interest in MC and vice versa (attractive but not each other’s types), they’re more like friendly bros
Yukimura
one of Shingen’s proteges
also under protection because he comes from one of the wealthiest families in the country
doesn’t really think he’s suited for politics but he idolises Shingen and will do his very best no matter what (Shingen thinks this attitude will work well for his constituents)
super impressed by MC to the point where he stutters and makes a fool out of himself constantly
STARS IN HIS EYES
MC’s like uhhhhh okaaaaaaaay.
Saizo
Yukimura’s bodyguard, one of the best in the business, reports to the Sanada family but also in contact with MC
He and MC both know each other by reputation, they circle around each other like wary cats
Intriguing… but alas they’re both very busy people
also he thinks personal life and work life should be kept separate as much as possible (Yukimura objects to this and is like BUT SAIZO WE’RE FRIENDS AREN’T WE? HEY SAIZO ARE YOU LISTENING???)
Kenshin
head of another political party, tentatively allies with Shingen
MC does not work with him, but they have met several times
Thinks she has both beauty and brains, impressed
Asks her out once but is turned down, smiles and gracefully accepts the rejection
Gives her his number and suggests that she call him instead if she ever changes her mind (she appreciates this because the other men just keep badgering her endlessly and it gets annoying)
Masamune
son of the current president
keeps out of the spotlight due to his reclusive personality and blinded eye, dislikes being dragged into politics
polite but slightly distant to MC, never causes any trouble
he appreciates her competence and her straight-to-the-point attitude, follows her advice calmly without arguing
MC wishes more of her charges were like him
Kojuro
Masamune’s personal assistant/manager/nursemaid/whatever-is-required
very, very thankful to MC for treating Masamune like a regular person
Very much enjoys her professionalism
Also thinks she’s gorgeous and wants to ask her out but thinks that professionalism he admires will lead to a straight refusal, decides to wait a bit more and see how things go, smiles at her a lot whenever they meet (which is, sadly for him, not that often)
MC likes the relationship between Kojuro and Masamune, thinks that he’s a very good person and appreciates that there’s clearly mutual care and support between the two
Genya
Masamune’s bodyguard
despairs when he sees MC coming because work is going to become More Troublesome
always badgers Masamune for a pay raise after talking to MC
whines a lot when MC tells him about this or that new threat and the actions he has to take to circumvent it
constantly yelled at by Kojuro for slouching too much and being a bad influence
secretly happy that Masamune is such a homebody because then he gets handsomely paid to just chill and wait around
(is actually good at his job, whining aside)
Ieyasu
MC’s work colleague and equal
they have a (seemingly) polite, long running rivalry
Ieyasu is better at collating and analysing information, MC is better at acting on that information
Constantly trying to one-up each other
No one knows whether that tension between them is purely hate or just sliiiiightly sexual in nature
Sakuya
dependable informant who works with MC
always gives MC reliable, accurate information and trusts that she will take appropriate action
mutual work relationship based on trust and competence
they appreciate each other very much (but they don’t tell each other so), especially given the other people they have worked with
MC was 100% shook when she realised Sakuya and Genya are brothers like wtf how did that even happen I want to ask so badly but I really don’t think I should??
Hanzo
Ieyasu’s spy/informant/minion/honestly no one really knows, not even HR, but he seems to get a paycheque anyway
super amused by Ieyasu’s and MC’s rivalry
never fails to say hi and flirt with MC when he sees her, preferably in Ieyasu’s vicinity
Ieyasu’s just like if you like her so much go work with her instead and Hanzo just smiles and smiles and smiles
MC absolutely knows what he’s up to and eggs him on, lots of smiling, shoulder touching, hair flipping
annoying Ieyasu is their Goal and they will stop at nothing to reach it
Hotaru
MC’s utterly confused intern
tbh he’s not sure why he’s there and she’s not sure who the hell hired him but she really wants to know because she has words for that person
tries to be helpful but just… doesn’t succeed very often…
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How not to write a TV serial episode: Part 2
[Part 1] ; [Part 3]
So, from Act I and II we learned that, far from resolving the two main plot-lines of the season -or at least one of them, which would be a good idea in the mid-season finale, but what do I know?- this episode gets us further into the ‘Lucifer is still on the run and it’s a problem’ story line. He now took possession of the President of the United State, a very religious man, according to the way he talked with Lucifer.
We still have to go through Act III, where we should go into the main conflict of the episode, Act IV and the climax, and Act V and the resolution of this week’s plot.
It could still be interesting. I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, though.
Act III: Taking those exhausted, 90s clichés and shoving them up your ass
So the whole presidential team is up, listening to Lucifer-in-the-President explain how his bodyguard died. People believe it was an accident, and then this exchange happens:
Man in a suit: If you’d like to say a few words, Sir.
Lucifer: (looks up and doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t see what the guy is talking about, despite the fact that someone just died, it should be rather obvious, given his choice of vessel, but who am I to judge Satan?)
The President’s secretary (Her name is Kelly): A few words… to the Man Upstairs, Sir (actress takes a breath knowing full well her next line is lame as shit),
I mean (awkward laugh), you know, (laugh intensify), people say shit like that all the time, right? You know, my mom, when I go to take a shower, she always says: “and don’t forget to masturbate! Like you do every shower!” just in case I forget I do that, you know?
But yeah this is another example of exposition via dialogue that just doesn’t work. We know the President is religious. This is also an example of bad dialogue, because the man in the suit could have just said “could you say a prayer for [insert bodyguard name here], Sir?” and it would’ve worked JUST AS WELL, JUST SAYING BUCKLEMMING! IT’S NOT LIKE THERE’S TWO OF YOU AND YOU’VE BEEN WRITING FOR 40 YEARS!
And it would’ve worked to show what comes next, because, of course, this whole thing has a purpose. I mean, it doesn’t make one lick of sense, and it’s only going to be useful in that episode to prove something that happens later, and it’s one fucking lazy plot twist right there, but, in the context, yes, it’s useful. Let’s proceed.
So, Lucifer tries to say a prayer and fails (You know ‘cause a few years in the Cage with Michael and he forgot how to use his wicked tongue to sweet talk people), but you know what? He’s holding a biiii-ble! And we all know what a Bible does to Luci, right?
What do you mean, we don’t? :o
Ahahahah why, yes! Of course! How could I forget that religious objects burn the skin of his vessel? I’m so stupid! And you’re all stupid, too! This is so obvious!
I mean I should seriously have seen it coming, what with that inverted cross bullshit thing earlier and all, but you know what? Just watching this burns my eyes. Maybe I’m evil, too. Maybe I’m allergic to cheap character developments like this one. Who knows?
Let’s also add a little bit of subtlety from the director, just to hammer it into our head that, ya know, Lucifer is Satan. The ruler of Hell. Where there’s fire.
But he’s not just that, you know. He’s also a man. And men have needs. So, obviously, the very religious President is sleeping with his secretary.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait. I think… I’m not sure, maybe I’m mistaken but, it feels like…
I saw this same thing/heard that same dialogue…
The same uncomfortable rapey situation in some other episodes of yours…
Someone has a rape kink. Just sayin’
I mean, I’m not the kink shaming type but this is a family show, and speaking as someone who has actually been used, in a sexual situation, and found out about it a couple of weeks later, even if the situation itself is kinda okay while you’re in it, it is never, in retrospect, sexy. It’s in fact the opposite of sexy. It’s terrifying. It’s shameful. It hurts. It’s not sexy. Not cool, guys.
So using sex as a way of showing/telling something about the characters: yes. Let’s not lie to ourselves, we’re all fic writers, so we do it, too. I just don’t understand that pattern of having someone use sex to get to his/her end. This is not sexy AT ALL. In this case, dear reader who hasn’t seen the episode, it has an unfortunate purpose as well.
The writers must also have a very impressive complex in bed, because all their characters feel the need to express how great their sex was (Wow!) or reassure their partners that it was great every single time. (Double Wow!) But who am I to talk, really? Every time I masturbate (in the shower, remember), I always look at myself in the mirror afterwards and congratulate myself on the great sex I just had. Obviously.
So, knowing those two wrote those other episodes, we know that when Kelly will discover Satan slept with her instead of the man she loves, she’ll be shocked for like, two seconds. Then nobody will ever speak of it again.
Moving on.
Lucifer says “it’s like I never did that before.” In a tone that implies that he didn’t. Never. Because he’s evil, but he has principles. I don’t even know anymore.
Awkward pillow talk to explain that they’re having legit sex because the President is a widower and Kelly wants their liaison to be announced officially. I don’t know what purpose this serves in the plot. They’re attempting some foreshadowing, I’ll let you watch to know which kind because I want to keep the surprise for later.
It took me two rewatch to realize that this Lady is the doctor who ruled the bodyguard’s death as natural. She tells Crowley about Lucifer. One thing that makes sense in this whole mess, at least. So that’s how they find out Lucifer is the President.
???? Since when can you power down the wards around the bunker? Aren’t they literally etched into the walls????? What the fuck are you talking about, Dean?!
I side with Sam here when he asks, with panic in his voice, if Crowley can now pop into the bunker whenever he feels like it. Yes, Sam, me too. I just don’t understand why Dean just shrugs and doesn’t take this more seriously. Maybe he wants a quickie. Idek. I mean, Crowley was here before, so why now can’t he appear outside the bunker, and walk inside like Cas does? Like literally anyone else does?
Next scene is Lucifer telling one of his agent (secret services, apparently) that “two unstable people have imminent plans to assassinate [him]”. Which explains the ending of that episode, actually. Again, took me two times to get it. But, okay. Why not. It’s not like the whole “Dean and Sam have the FBI on their asses” has been done before. Right?
Sam calls the British man of Letters who gave his number to Cas, but hangs up at the last second because he chickens out. So that’s what this bit in the preview was all about! Awesome. I really thought for a sec that we were about to resolve that plot line. But, luckily for us, Cas then says something stupid that will make up forget about it for the next few minutes
Seeing as Sam, as a vessel containing Lucifer, jumped into the Cage in the final episode of season 5, I don’t see why not. I’d like you to explain this to me, Cas. I don’t really understand, because Luci was very much a prisoner, and a secured one, until Amara’s arrival cracked the Cage and Lucifer managed to get out by being his little cunning self.
And it’s not like the writers forgot about that, because that episode is fucking memorable. It’s one of the pivotal episode of the whole show. I get that they left after season 1 and only came back for season 7, but it’s their fucking job to know what happens in the pivotal moments of the show. Dammit! I want to slap someone!!
Crowley kills someone who’s mean to Rowena. I don’t understand why. I mean, they hate each other. They keep repeating that they hate each other. But whatever. I’m so done. We’re reaching the half of the episode.
Luci and Kelly in bed, to tell us that K feels that something is different. Yeah, I wonder what it could be…
So, yeah. Kelly’s pregnant. With Lucifer’s child. I’m going to take a few seconds to let that sink in. They’re going with the pregnancy plotline.
So… - Okay, breathe, Letzi, you can do this – Sam, Dean and Cas are en route to find Lucifer. Except the President’s secret services spot them. Cue confrontation. How are they going to get out of this one? :o Suspense! It’s not like Cas is impervious to bullets or anything.
Because, anyway, nothing matters anymore. Someone comes to rescue them, with a FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER! Guess who? FUCKING ARTHUR KETCH, THE TORTURER WHO WANTED TO KILL THEM, THAT’S WHO! BECAUSE FUCK LOGIC AT THAT POINT
So, what can we learn from that third act, beside the fact that the Bucklemings forced their dicks down our throats and made us swallow without the courtesy of saying please, first? Basically, Lucifer is the President, and is enjoying his status as President (wouldn’t blame him), but he also managed to fuck up and impregnate the President’s girlfriend. Meanwhile, Sam, Dean and Cas took 30 minutes to figure out that Lucifer was in the President, and they went and almost got arrested by the US secret services, but were saved by the BMoL’s own special man, Arthur Ketch. Crowley went to fetch Rowena to help them get to Lucifer, but they’re obviously not here so I don’t really know what that was for.
Wonder what could possible happen between then and the end of the episode. Ten minutes left. They have to resolve the issue of the pregnancy, and the issue of Lucifer.
Oh, well. I’m gonna go and lay down for a minute because this is just a level of bullshit I hadn’t seen in a long while. I mean, I don’t think that even my first self-insert fanfic where I was Harry Potter’s sister but Sirius Black’s daughter and had a baby with Harry (because we were only half-brother and sister you guys) was that bad. And that’s saying something.
See you for part 3 *cries*
[Part 3]
#my shit#supernatural#season 12 spoilers#episode 12x08#brief mention of 9x03#tw: talk of rape/rapey situation#tw: pregnancy#rantalicious
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Character Wiki
◈═══════════════◈
BASIC INFORMATION
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REAL NAME: Rocky Morningstar
CURRENT ALIAS: The Awesome One
Aliases: Spawn of Lucifer
《PERSONALITY》
Free-spirited, fearless, energetic, cunning, stubborn, playful, optimistic, sweet, quick-thinking, talkative, bubbly, opinionated, cheeky, strong willed, confident, brave, hilarious, fun loving, outgoing, boisterous, impulsive, caring, heroic, determined, exploratory, slick, calculating, crafty, sly, funny, caring, good-hearted, selfless, vulnerable, witty, sentimental, laid-back, romantic, supportive, humble, cocky, kind, selfless, regal, streetwise, wisecracking, cheerful, genuine, sophisticated, generous, daring, friendly, reckless, charming, playful, cool, witty, athletic, mischievous, friendly, sweet, adventurous, sarcastic, rebellious
APPEARANCE
dark brown hair, blue eyes, short sleeve open collar striped shirt, dark indigo necktie with red-and-blue stripes, blue jeans, black and white converse
《Relatives》
Lucifer (biological father) †
Kelly Kline (biological mother) †
Jack Kline (biological brother) †
Castiel (paternal uncle/chosen father/guardian)
God (paternal grandfather)
Amara/The Darkness (paternal great-aunt)
PETS
Esteban (The Cat)
Damon (The Cow) †
Hell-Hounds
LOVE INTEREST
Katy Miller (Ex-girlfriend)
Elena Gilbert (Girlfriend)
ENEMIES
Evil angels
Demons
Evil monsters
Eternal Stud
Damon Salvatore
《POWERS/SKILLS》
Abilities
Genius-level intelligence
Master detective
Master escapologist
Peak human physical condition
Master martial artist
Access to high tech equipment
HOBBY
Singing, dancing, practicing sports, causing trouble, getting on adventures with Dean and Sam, eating and sleeping
GOALS
Master his powers (succeeded).
To start a love relationship with Elena
To restore his bond with his brother, Jack (succeeded)
To find true love (succeeded)
To find a safe place (succeeded)
HOME
Kansas
LIKES
Pulling pranks, attention, singing, having fun, dancing, being right, being in charge, his family, competing with The Salvatore brothers, pizza, spending time with Elena, food (especially cookies), surfing, hugs, playing the guitar, Elvis Presley, animals, wildlife creatures, music, adventures with Dean and Sam, money
DISLIKES
Damon Salvatore, Katherine Pierce, cats, things that are difficult, Isolation, rudeness, shutting him out, embarrassing himself, betrayal, his own crimes, losing loved ones, failing, losing his friends, threats to his family and friends, people getting upset with him, failure, getting in big trouble, not having any fun, losing Elena to death, rejection, loud sounds, rudeness, Elena shutting him out, betrayal, his grandfather's crimes
BASE OF OPERATIONS
Mystic Falls, New York City, New York; San Francisco, California, Kansas
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STATUS
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IDENTITY
Known to Authorities Identity
CITIZENSHIP
American
MARITAL STATUS
OCCUPATION
Mercenary, former fugitive, enforcer, Hunter, sumo wrestler, assassin, bodyguard, Guardian of the Gate, Hell's Torturer, Vessel of Kai Parker, Soldier of Hell (formerly), Bearer of the Mark of Cain (formerly), Knight of Hell (formerly), Member of Team Save the World (formerly), Stripper (formerly), Comedian, Singer, Songwriter
SPECIES
Human
Knights of Hell
Nephilim
Ghost
EDUCATION
High School Student (Graduated/Formerly), Football player and basketball player for the Timberwolves, College Student
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CHARACTERISTICS
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GENDER: Male
HEIGHT
6'0" (Feet)
1.83 (Meters)
EYES: Blue-Gray
HAIR: Dark brown
ORIGIN
ORIGIN
????
UNIVERSE
The Vampire Diaries
PLACE OF BIRTH
Kansas
CREATOR
— JAKE
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Tʜᴇᴍᴇsᴏɴɢ
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⠀» Song - Artist «
0:00 ─〇───── 0:00
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
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❝ .❞
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Rocky is a bad boy with an edge, and he has enough personality to bring excitement to a Celine Dion song (it’s actually a beautiful song). He’ll slice you up without a second thought and make fun of you while doing it, which makes him endearing and cooler than his peers. Whether you love the character’s zany exploits or hate them, there’s no denying that he’s one of a kind. His fourth-wall-breaking antics make him a hilarious and off-kilter alternative to his hero brethren, and even after nearly three decades of delivering wisecracks, bloodshed, and meta mischief in the panels of New York, City's beloved titles, in the past couple of year, half of the universe as a whole has been seduced by his charms.
History
Early Life
Rocky was born on [Insert Date here], in the district of Kansas. He is the second son of Lucifer, making him a hybrid of Human and an Angel. He is the second and only known Nephilim to be sired by an Archangel. Rocky was taken in by his nice adopted family who would teach him how to behave like a normal being and tried to master his powers.
After being born, Rocky began searching for his father, Lucifer and showed great confusion at the world around him. All that he appeared to know was that his mother was good and his father was supposed to be waiting for him, but nothing beyond that.
Since his father is Lucifer, it is a general assumption that Rocky is the embodiment of pure evil. This belief was originally shared even by his mother, who attempted suicide after his younger brother Jack was conceived so that her second child wouldn't be unleashed upon the world. This made Rocky learn about the consequences of his actions and gain a better understanding of mortality.
After that his younger brother resurrected their mother, however, as their mother then became convinced that Jack could be good, and that the world needed him. Unfortunately, for Rocky he was already a bad boy before he was conceived.
Eventually, after Rocky helped them defeat a demon, his Uncle also became hopeful that Rocky can turn out to be good, and could make the world a better place. They both even claimed to have been shown a vision of a future without pain, fear, or suffering.
Childhood
Rocky never knew his father, as Lucifer left shortly after his son was conceived. Rocky grew up in Kansas under the care of his mother, Kelly and his Uncle, Castiel. Throughout his childhood, Rocky became something of a wild child, getting into numerous fights. He became very close to his mother.
When other children asked where his father was, Rocky told them that his dad was the president and was busy with his career.
Losing his Mother
When he was 11 years old, Rocky's mother became afflicted with humanity, that, unbeknownst to Rocky, Kelly killed herself, who feared that both of her sons growing attachment to Lucifer would turn him away from his plan. His mother's death worsened over time, and shortly before she died, she gave Rocky a note attached to it. In her final moments, she begged Rocky to hug her, but he could not bear to look at her. She died seconds later, leaving Rocky distraught and screaming for her as he was pulled from the room by his Uncle, Castiel.
Directly after her death, Rocky ran out of the house crying.
Castiel knew very well of Lucifer's true nature and plans. So, he instead decided that he and the Winchesters would keep Rocky and Jack as their own and chose never to tell him about their father.
Raised by The Hunters
The hunters taught Rocky how to be the perfect Hunter. Rocky later recalled how, growing up in a hunter clan, Dean Winchester had often "kicked the crap out of him in order to teach him how to fight and kept him in terror by threatening to eat him.
As he grew older, Rocky started going by the name The Awesome One, which was a nickname given to him by Dean. Dean gave Rocky a few to win a girls heart. When he was ten years old, Rocky had his childhood crush, Katelyn Miller.
Quest for a hunt
Rocky built up a reputation as the self-proclaimed legendary outlaw and continued to work for the Winchesters. During his time with the hunters, Rocky had become disloyal to them, eventually planning to kill an innocent.
Before joining the Winchesters, Rocky lived in the ways of an average criminal and thug, going so far as killing an innocent.
Before The Apocalypse
After his younger brother, Jack accidentally killed someone, Rocky showed great devastation and remorse for his brother’s actions and left his home and was sent to a better place because they were afraid that if he stayed, he would eventually hurt them. This act also motivated him to go out on his own and master some of his powers to prove he is good.
The Apocalypse
As God offers to bring back his friend's mother if a hunter kills his brother, but his friend refuses, knowing that the hunter's mother would never want that. With the hunters continuing to refuse to cooperate, Rocky hopelessly watches as God eventually snaps his fingers and smites his younger brother Jack in front of him, leaving Jack with his eyes burned out and surrounded by the imprint of his wings.
After his younger brother's death, Rocky kneels on the ground before he expresses understanding for what is about to happen, stating that he knows what his brother has done and that Rocky has been right all along and God is turned into a monster. However, he can't bring himself to kill God and instead throws away the gun.
His Uncle is disturbed by the fact that Rocky's every attempt to be bad and says he no longer feels anything no matter how much he wants to as for him it was all for fun.
Still distressed over his part in his younger brother's death, he sits alone in a warehouse and asks for his Uncle's ghost to help him, instead he is met by his subconscious manifestation of his father, who tells him that the hunters still hates him and he needs to understand he is all he has left.
Something in him instead of him appearing vicious, he appeared to be sweet and mischievous.
It was learned that he will be hunted down by few hunters and he is beyond redemption, and offers him a place in Mystic Falls so as to make the world a better place, assuring him that it will make God happy.
Shortly after the war, and, in an attempt to escape, after discovering the evil behind his origins from God. Once he eventually left and found a better place to live. As for now he was sent to Mystic Falls to start a new life.
The Arrival
The Arrival II
About a year after the events of the previous encounter, Shortly after arriving, Rocky wasn't fearing that he would revert to his old destructive routine and instead he would do it for fun.
As a result, Rocky eventually left to find his place when he saw the damage he was causing towards Elena's. Rocky and Katy reunite shortly afterward, but having enough of the trouble he's caused.
Just then, one of the hunters attempts to destroy Rocky during the confrontation, and though he nearly succeeds, Rocky gains the upper hand and manages to both save his own life and manage to kill him. They then run into his old friends, who gives him a ride back to escape.
Afterward, Rocky was captured by God but then he was allowed to stay on earth as exile due to God's change of heart and Elena's legal ownership of him.
Background
Rocky, a young man raised in Kansas, moves to the town of Mystic Falls, Virginia, to live with his new life. Soon after arriving, Rocky befriends Elena's friends, as a result, this draws Rocky into the supernatural world of Mystic Falls, where it is plagued by vampires, werewolves, witches, doppelgängers and Original Vampires. He soon meets and falls for a troubled teenage girl named Elena, who has feuding two vampire brothers Stefan and Damon vie for the affection of captivating teenager Elena.
» PERSONALITY «
Personality
Rocky's flawed personality, he is a very unique person that is a rather likable character with a couple of positive traits. He is good-hearted and generous to others as well. He is known to take pity on stray animals and is kind to most people in need of help, sometimes even to other villains in the show.
Rocky usually discards the very norm set in the vampire diaries world. A hero has to be the villain who takes care of others, save their lives and even spare innocent beings from a death sentence. A villain is expected to create mayhem, abuse the helpless people to blackmail the superhero, and crave for world dominance at the end as a hero.
Rocky is unique in the sense that he is a combination of both. He is neither a good guy nor evil. He is nothing but a bad boy who has a good heart and does what he wants and is exceptionally good at it.
He is the king of sense of humor. His intelligent and stingy remarks can take the tension off in the gravest of situations. Rocky's ability to stay cool by acting like a fool really works for him. His people have even nicknamed him as "the awesome one" for not taking things seriously. Yet he never fails to deliver. Maybe that’s because he never panics.
Rocky also enjoys chatting about pop culture, particularly movies and celebrities. He purposely wastes much screen time talking about other movies instead of creating content for his own one, which is a sign of laziness.
As he was loaded with the anti-hero's self-indulgent sarcasm and over-the-top meta movie references, but with all his time spent on ass-kicking, there's a question as to how Rocky finds so much time to just Netflix and chill.
Physical Appearance
“ He's good-looking, but don't you dare tell him I said that. ”
– Katy Miller about Rocky's appearance, in The interview
Rocky has blue eyes and dark brown hair, which he inherited from his father and mother. Katy later states that when Rocky pleads, his blue-grey eyes seemed to be "like a cute baby seal that needed help" and marvels at how men and wo had ever won an argument with him. He is 6'1"--- making him taller than his younger brother Jack—and muscular. Rocky gets his handsome looks from his father, a reason why Katy wanted to preserve her love of him. He doesn't seem to know it or may simply refuse to acknowledge it, but a great number of girls find him extremely attractive.
At the beginning of the series, Rocky was average in athletics but later from his training, becomes very fit, muscular, and lean. After his reunion with Katy, Katy says that Rocky grew even more handsome, and muscular. Rocky had a short sleeve open collar striped shirt, dark indigo necktie with red-and-blue stripes, blue jeans, black and white converse, In The Ship of Conquest, Rocky wore a white T-shirt, black jeans, and black and white sneakers.
Rocky is noted to be "handsome" by other characters constantly. Unlike any other being seen on the Vampire Diaries, Rocky's eyes glow gold. They often glow when Rocky uses his powers. When his friends discovered Rocky hiding in the corner of the room, they were visibly frightened by Rocky's somewhat creepy appearance. After he encounters Kai, Rocky obtains an outfit.
Rocky has also been shown with a large pair of angelic wings, which seems to be as big as those of Archangels. He once used them to shield an individual from the explosion and showed them after absorbing an angelic grace to show the others his powers are back.
After being a murderer, Rocky's eyes glow red.
Powers and Abilities
Paraphernalia
Equipment
Weapons
Relationship
Love Interest
Etymology
Rocky is a name referring to a tough person. Taking the last name from his father, "morning star". His first name Rocky, was named in reference to the movie The Return Of Xander Xxx .
Notes:
Trivia
• The inspiration for Rocky's name comes from the
• Over the years, he had crushes (or interests) on many female celebrity characters. Some examples include Brittney Spears, Taylor Swift, Kelly Preston, Demi Moore etc.
• Rocky was, and is, known as the self-appointed "leader" of his own group.
• He is more interested in vandalism / pranks than violence.
• Knowing that he wasn't meant to be an embodiment of pure evil. He seemed to be quite happy. Since he is technically a failure because he is willing to belong and to find happiness.
• Rocky loves reading his favorite storybook, The Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen
• It is implied that Rocky kills people only because he was provoked; but since he has a personality of his own (a fact that only few people truly understand), he also has the choice, and even the will, not to do so.
• Rocky is not prone to having temper tantrums when things do not go as well as he hopes.
• Rocky hates it when somebody insults his relatives and his friends
• Rocky somewhat sensitive about his personal self, and can at times have a very bad reaction to others mocking it
• He believes in loyalty.
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Inside Marvel Studios: Secrets About 'Black Panther,' 'Captain Marvel,' 'Thor: Ragnarok' & More!
It's a risk letting anyone see how the superhero sausage is made, but that's exactly what Marvel Studios did when they opened the doors of their offices to a pack of reporters on Monday night for an Open House. The itinerary for the event was shrouded in secrecy — Marvel's usual M.O. when it comes to anything connected to their Cinematic Universe — so each room on the tour contained some new surprise, unfolding like a game of Clue where the players were mostly actors named Chris.
RELATED: Talking 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,' Bad Guys and Baby Groot With Marvel Boss Kevin Feige
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THE LOBBY: "A lot of people get to go into the office lobby, but few people get to come past here," our tour guide, executive producer Jeremy Latcham (The Avengers and Age of Ultron, Guardians of the Galaxy and Spider-Man: Homecoming), says. The recently renovated offices occupy the entire second floor of their building on the Walt Disney lot in Burbank — a far cry from the offices the studio used to apparently share with a kite factory.
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Three iterations of the Iron Man suit loom over the lobby couches, giving the waiting room a Tony Stark's-lab-before-it-was-blown-up-in-a-terrorist-attack vibe, while Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana's costumes "straight from the set" of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 are on display next to the receptionist's desk, with a cheeky sign warning, "Obviously if you touch the costumes or stand on the stage, Baby Groot will push the button!" (The lobby is also the first and last place in Marvel HQ where anyone is allowed to take photos.)
Marvel Studios
THE DEVELOPMENT LOUNGE: Where the Marvel team develops their film slate and how the cinematic universe is all connected—and if the room is any indication, where they play ping-pong and pin ball. The room showcases a model of the Helicarrier from Avengers and another of Disneyland, walls lined with signed Marvel posters ("Kevin, you rock!" Saldana scrawled on Guardians of the Galaxy), and Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, is propped next to TV.
There's a mural painted on one wall showing Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa staring off at a tree full of panthers and — though Black Panther doesn't finish filming until Wednesday and won't hit theaters until 2018 —we assembled around a coffee table topped with an encased Baby Groot to watch three minutes of sizzle reel for the movie.
"This is not a world that we've ever seen--as big as it is, as advanced as it is, and also the respect and the homage paid to its past traditions," Angela Bassett, serving for the gods in regal headdresses and flowing white dreadlocks as T'Challa's mother, Ramonda, teased in the clip. Judging from the concept art and brief glimpses of behind-the-scenes footage, the film will be as lush as it is sci-fi: shots of T'Challa in his upgraded Black Panther suit in the jungle, fighting in a bar and giving a political speech. A mountain glowing with vibranium. At one point, if I'm not mistaken, I saw an armored rhinoceros. (I think I saw an armored rhinoceros. There are probably weaponized rhinos in Black Panther, guys.)
Marvel Studios
THE LIBRARY: "Obviously, a somewhat condensed comic book library," Latcham disclaims while gesturing to shelves full of comic books that run the length of an entire hallway. "Not quite everything we would want. We want all the comics. At all time." Littered amongst the comic books are various props from various movies: a stunt Eye of Agamotto (the real one is with composer Michael Giacchino), a model of an Orloni, the little alien Star-Lord uses as a microphone in the Guardians of the Galaxy opening credits, one of Captain America's real shields. ("There are a lot of shields that exist.")
Marvel
VISUAL DEVELOPMENT: Bypassing an innocuous enough cubicle farm, we're led to some of the most privileged offices at Marvel: of the "vis dev" team, headed by Ryan Meinerding, where one can find concept art for movies in all stages of production. Like in Meinerding's own office, where a computer drawing of Thanos, for the upcoming Infinity Wars, is being projected onscreen, showing a smirking Thanos sans his customary armor. "He's awesome. He's powerful. He's got a big glove with some jewels in it," Meinerding plays coy. (Indeed, all the Infinity Stones are present.) What about that tower of deconstructed rubble behind him? "Oh... [Laughs] I can't talk about that one."
One office over, director Peyton Reed has popped in to work on Ant-Man & The Wasp. The walls are lined with concept art for the movie, including a gag with a bulldog chomping on Luis' shrunken van, a more metallic Hope van Dyne-era Wasp suit and rejiggered suits for Ant-Man and Giant-Man (Paul Rudd at various sizes). But is that Sharon Stone in the Janet van Dyne-era Wasp suit? Reed laughs, "It is not Sharon Stone."
And then there's something new: concept art of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, in a slightly darker and grittier take on her classic comic book suit, complete with the star on her chest and a shorter, blonde haircut. In another shot, she's seen fighting two metal robots with an inferno blazing around her fist. "It's just enough to inspire everyone, to get everyone super psyched," Latchman explains. "So by the time the Captain Marvel movie actually comes out, whether she'll be that exact costume? Who knows." It may change when a director is hired. "Actually, it does have a director. They've just--No?" Reed called from the back of the room. Latcham looked momentarily shocked before both laughed and said it was only a joke. (Or was it? Who knows.)
Marvel Studios
EDIT BAYS: A dimly lit room with one large screen and plenty of seating around it, where Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi is on hand to edit visual effects. For us, though, he's announcing a new character in the film—but it is not a classic Thor character. "He features heavily in the Planet Hulk storyline which we're borrowing from," Waititi says of Korg the Kronan, an 8-foot tall rock creature in, as he puts it, "a 2017 metal bikini."
"Being made of rocks, we really wanted to get someone like The Rock to play him, but there wasn't enough chicken or salmon in Australia to sustain both him and Chris [Hemsworth]," Waititi explains. "So, the next best thing was a hot--super hot--export from New Zealand. A great character actor named Taika."
Waititi provided a look at Korg in various stages of VFX, from the director donning the mo-cap suit ("The emasculation suit, as Mark Ruffalo likes to call it") to a rough cut of the scene where the lovable brute first meets and befriends Thor. I'll say this much: It's all very funny, closer to the tone of the director's last film, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, than The Dark World. Korg also has a silent sidekick, Miek, an insectoid larva-thing operating an exoskeleton with knife hands. Miek is absolutely repulsive and so, so cool.
Marvel Studios
SCREENING ROOM: An intimate theater in which co-president Louis D'Esposito claims all Marvel films start and end, and where we are being treated to dailies from "Motherland"—the production title of Black Panther. The footage is raw ("Blue screens. Bad sound. You're going to hear cursing. You're going to see a grip's leg in one shot," D'Esposito warns) but it really is quite stunning.
We see bits of two sequences, the first involving King T'challa's correlation at Warrior Falls: his royal bodyguards, the Dora Milaje, rhythmically stomping and chanting aboard a ship. A shirtless Boseman descending a set of stairs into a pool of water and receiving the power of the Black Panther. The footage is beautiful and colorful and musical--unlike anything we've seen in the MCU thus far. The second, potentially more spoiler-y sequence, involves Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis from Age of Ultron, upgraded with some sort of prosthetic arm) meeting Everett K. Ross (Martin Freeman from Captain America: Civil War) in a South Korean casino to discuss mixtapes and vibranium.
Following the dailies, D'Esposito cued a string of VFX shots from Spider-Man: Homecoming (or "Summer of George," as it was known). Director Jon Watts was busy scoring the movie with composer Giacchino, but our sampling of the 2,300 effect shots were so brief it's hard to describe exactly what we saw: Peter's pre-Civil War suit is the non-Stark Industries one seen in the trailer. One of the weapons wielded by the villains is a reclaimed and modified Ultron arm. Tom Holland's abs. "His body is real," D'Esposito joked. "We did not touch it."
Marvel Studios
THE COURTYARD: Our tour ends where it began, at an open-air courtyard in the center of the building where drinks and sushi are being served. "We go away and we have creative retreats together," Latchman adds. "Basically we'll rent a house in Palm Springs and we'll all go out to the desert with a big stack of Post-it notes and plan out the next Phase." What Marvel Phase were they discussing at their last retreat? "If I told you that, you guys would know everything!"
As a goodbye, we're greeted by president Kevin Feige, who oversees the entire operation and knows answers to questions that haven't even been asked yet. All Feige wants to talk about, though, is last weekend's Star Wars Celebration and The Last Jedi trailer. When the topic returns to Marvel's slate and specifics about, say, whether there's a Guardians of the Galaxy Easter egg in the new Thor trailer, he deadpans, "I can neither confirm nor deny." Alas, that answer is hidden somewhere else inside Marvel Studios.
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Inside Marvel Studios: Secrets About 'Black Panther,' 'Thor: Ragnarok' 'Spider-Man' & More!
It's a risk letting anyone see how the superhero sausage is made, but that's exactly what Marvel Studios did when they opened the doors of their offices to a pack of reporters on Monday night for an Open House. The itinerary for the event was shrouded in secrecy--Marvel's usual M.O. when it comes to anything connected to their Cinematic Universe--so each room on the tour contained some new surprise, unfolding like a game of Clue where the players were mostly actors named Chris.
RELATED: Talking 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,' Bad Guys and Baby Groot With Marvel Boss Kevin Feige
THE LOBBY: "A lot of people get to go into the office lobby, but few people get to come past here," our tour guide, executive producer Jeremy Latcham (The Avengers and Age of Ultron, Guardians of the Galaxy and Spider-Man: Homecoming), says. The recently renovated offices occupy the entire second floor of their building on the Walt Disney lot in Burbank--a far cry from the offices the studio used to apparently share with a kite factory.
Three iterations of the Iron Man suit loom over the lobby couches, giving the waiting room a Tony Stark's-lab-before-it-was-blown-up-in-a-terrorist-attack vibe, while Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana's costumes "straight from the set" of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 are on display next to the receptionist's desk, with a cheeky sign warning, "Obviously if you touch the costumes or stand on the stage, Baby Groot will push the button!" (The lobby is also the first and last place in Marvel HQ where anyone is allowed to take photos.)
THE DEVELOPMENT LOUNGE: Where the Marvel team develops their film slate and how the cinematic universe is all connected--and if the room is any indication, where they play ping-pong and pin ball. The room showcases a model of the Helicarrier from Avengers and another of Disneyland, walls lined with signed Marvel posters ("Kevin, you rock!" Saldana scrawled on Guardians of the Galaxy), and Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, is propped next to TV.
There's a mural painted on one wall showing Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa staring off at a tree full of panthers and--though Black Panther doesn't finish filming until Wednesday and won't hit theaters until 2018--we assembled around a coffee table topped with an encased Baby Groot to watch three minutes of sizzle reel for the movie.
"This is not a world that we've ever seen--as big as it is, as advanced as it is, and also the respect and the homage paid to its past traditions," Angela Bassett, serving for the gods in regal headdresses and flowing white dreadlocks as T'Challa's mother, Ramonda, teased in the clip. Judging from the concept art and brief glimpses of behind-the-scenes footage, the film will be as lush as it is sci-fi: shots of T'Challa in his upgraded Black Panther suit in the jungle, fighting in a bar and giving a political speech. A mountain glowing with vibranium. At one point, if I'm not mistaken, I saw an armored rhinoceros. (I think I saw an armored rhinoceros. There are probably weaponized rhinos in Black Panther, guys.)
THE LIBRARY: "Obviously, a somewhat condensed comic book library," Latcham disclaims while gesturing to shelves full of comic books that run the length of an entire hallway. "Not quite everything we would want. We want all the comics. At all time." Littered amongst the comic books are various props from various movies: a stunt Eye of Agamotto (the real one is with composer Michael Giacchino), a model of an Orloni, the little alien Star-Lord uses as a microphone in the Guardians of the Galaxy opening credits, one of Captain America's real shields. ("There are a lot of shields that exist.")
VISUAL DEVELOPMENT: Bypassing an innocuous enough cubicle farm, we're led to some of the most privileged offices at Marvel: of the "vis dev" team, headed by Ryan Meinerding, where one can find concept art for movies in all stages of production. Like in Meinerding's own office, where a computer drawing of Thanos, for the upcoming Infinity Wars, is being projected onscreen, showing a smirking Thanos sans his customary armor. "He's awesome. He's powerful. He's got a big glove with some jewels in it," Meinerding plays coy. (Indeed, all the Infinity Stones are present.) What about that tower of deconstructed rubble behind him? "Oh... [Laughs] I can't talk about that one."
One office over, director Peyton Reed has popped in to work on Ant-Man & The Wasp. The walls are lined with concept art for the movie, including a gag with a bulldog chomping on Luis' shrunken van, a more metallic Hope van Dyne-era Wasp suit and rejiggered suits for Ant-Man and Giant-Man (Paul Rudd at various sizes). But is that Sharon Stone in the Janet van Dyne-era Wasp suit? Reed laughs, "It is not Sharon Stone."
And then there's something new: concept art of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, in a slightly darker and grittier take on her classic comic book suit, complete with the star on her chest and a shorter, blonde haircut. In another shot, she's seen fighting two metal robots with an inferno blazing around her fist. "It's just enough to inspire everyone, to get everyone super psyched," Latchman explains. "So by the time the Captain Marvel movie actually comes out, whether she'll be that exact costume? Who knows." It may change when a director is hired. "Actually, it does have a director. They've just--No?" Reed called from the back of the room. Latcham looked momentarily shocked before both laughed and said it was only a joke. (Or was it? Who knows.)
EDIT BAYS: A dimly lit room with one large screen and plenty of seating around it, where Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi is on hand to edit visual effects. For us, though, he's announcing a new character in the film--but it is not a classic Thor character. "He features heavily in the Planet Hulk storyline which we're borrowing from," Waititi says of Korg the Kronan, an 8-foot tall rock creature in, as he puts it, "a 2017 metal bikini."
"Being made of rocks, we really wanted to get someone like The Rock to play him, but there wasn't enough chicken or salmon in Australia to sustain both him and Chris [Hemsworth]," Waititi explains. "So, the next best thing was a hot--super hot--export from New Zealand. A great character actor named Taika."
Waititi provided a look at Korg in various stages of VFX, from the director donning the mo-cap suit ("The emasculation suit, as Mark Ruffalo likes to call it") to a rough cut of the scene where the lovable brute first meets and befriends Thor. I'll say this much: It's all very funny, closer to the tone of the director's last film, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, than The Dark World. Korg also has a silent sidekick, Miek, an insectoid larva-thing operating an exoskeleton with knife hands. Miek is absolutely repulsive and so, so cool.
SCREENING ROOM: An intimate theater in which co-president Louis D'Esposito claims all Marvel films start and end, and where we are being treated to dailies from "Motherland"--the production title of Black Panther. The footage is raw ("Blue screens. Bad sound. You're going to hear cursing. You're going to see a grip's leg in one shot," D'Esposito warns) but it really is quite stunning.
We see bits of two sequences, the first involving King T'challa's correlation at Warrior Falls: his royal bodyguards, the Dora Milaje, rhythmically stomping and chanting aboard a ship. A shirtless Boseman descending a set of stairs into a pool of water and receiving the power of the Black Panther. The footage is beautiful and colorful and musical--unlike anything we've seen in the MCU thus far. The second, potentially more spoiler-y sequence, involves Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis from Age of Ultron, upgraded with some sort of prosthetic arm) meeting Everett K. Ross (Martin Freeman from Captain America: Civil War) in a South Korean casino to discuss mixtapes and vibranium.
Following the dailies, D'Esposito cued a string of VFX shots from Spider-Man: Homecoming (or "Summer of George," as it was known). Director Jon Watts was busy scoring the movie with composer Giacchino, but our sampling of the 2,300 effect shots were so brief it's hard to describe exactly what we saw: Peter's pre-Civil War suit is the non-Stark Industries one seen in the trailer. One of the weapons wielded by the villains is a reclaimed and modified Ultron arm. Tom Holland's abs. "His body is real," D'Esposito joked. "We did not touch it."
THE COURTYARD: Our tour ends where it began, at an open-air courtyard in the center of the building where drinks and sushi are being served. "We go away and we have creative retreats together," Latchman adds. "Basically we'll rent a house in Palm Springs and we'll all go out to the desert with a big stack of Post-it notes and plan out the next Phase." What Marvel Phase were they discussing at their last retreat? "If I told you that, you guys would know everything!"
As a goodbye, we're greeted by president Kevin Feige, who oversees the entire operation and knows answers to questions that haven't even been asked yet. All Feige wants to talk about, though, is last weekend's Star Wars Celebration and The Last Jedi trailer. When the topic returns to Marvel's slate and specifics about, say, whether there's a Guardians of the Galaxy Easter egg in the new Thor trailer, he deadpans, "I can neither confirm nor deny." Alas, that answer is hidden somewhere else inside Marvel Studios.
#_revsp:new_provider_with_logo_342#_uuid:bc282c69-7ca6-3b3e-bb71-c4bcec663193#_lmsid:a0VK0000001yfWcMAI
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Text
Inside Marvel Studios: Secrets About 'Black Panther,' 'Thor: Ragnarok' 'Spider-Man' & More!
It's a risk letting anyone see how the superhero sausage is made, but that's exactly what Marvel Studios did when they opened the doors of their offices to a pack of reporters on Monday night for an Open House. The itinerary for the event was shrouded in secrecy--Marvel's usual M.O. when it comes to anything connected to their Cinematic Universe--so each room on the tour contained some new surprise, unfolding like a game of Clue where the players were mostly actors named Chris.
RELATED: Talking 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,' Bad Guys and Baby Groot With Marvel Boss Kevin Feige
THE LOBBY: "A lot of people get to go into the office lobby, but few people get to come past here," our tour guide, executive producer Jeremy Latcham (The Avengers and Age of Ultron, Guardians of the Galaxy and Spider-Man: Homecoming), says. The recently renovated offices occupy the entire second floor of their building on the Walt Disney lot in Burbank--a far cry from the offices the studio used to apparently share with a kite factory.
Three iterations of the Iron Man suit loom over the lobby couches, giving the waiting room a Tony Stark's-lab-before-it-was-blown-up-in-a-terrorist-attack vibe, while Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana's costumes "straight from the set" of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 are on display next to the receptionist's desk, with a cheeky sign warning, "Obviously if you touch the costumes or stand on the stage, Baby Groot will push the button!" (The lobby is also the first and last place in Marvel HQ where anyone is allowed to take photos.)
THE DEVELOPMENT LOUNGE: Where the Marvel team develops their film slate and how the cinematic universe is all connected--and if the room is any indication, where they play ping-pong and pin ball. The room showcases a model of the Helicarrier from Avengers and another of Disneyland, walls lined with signed Marvel posters ("Kevin, you rock!" Saldana scrawled on Guardians of the Galaxy), and Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, is propped next to TV.
There's a mural painted on one wall showing Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa staring off at a tree full of panthers and--though Black Panther doesn't finish filming until Wednesday and won't hit theaters until 2018--we assembled around a coffee table topped with an encased Baby Groot to watch three minutes of sizzle reel for the movie.
"This is not a world that we've ever seen--as big as it is, as advanced as it is, and also the respect and the homage paid to its past traditions," Angela Bassett, serving for the gods in regal headdresses and flowing white dreadlocks as T'Challa's mother, Ramonda, teased in the clip. Judging from the concept art and brief glimpses of behind-the-scenes footage, the film will be as lush as it is sci-fi: shots of T'Challa in his upgraded Black Panther suit in the jungle, fighting in a bar and giving a political speech. A mountain glowing with vibranium. At one point, if I'm not mistaken, I saw an armored rhinoceros. (I think I saw an armored rhinoceros. There are probably weaponized rhinos in Black Panther, guys.)
THE LIBRARY: "Obviously, a somewhat condensed comic book library," Latcham disclaims while gesturing to shelves full of comic books that run the length of an entire hallway. "Not quite everything we would want. We want all the comics. At all time." Littered amongst the comic books are various props from various movies: a stunt Eye of Agamotto (the real one is with composer Michael Giacchino), a model of an Orloni, the little alien Star-Lord uses as a microphone in the Guardians of the Galaxy opening credits, one of Captain America's real shields. ("There are a lot of shields that exist.")
VISUAL DEVELOPMENT: Bypassing an innocuous enough cubicle farm, we're led to some of the most privileged offices at Marvel: of the "vis dev" team, headed by Ryan Meinerding, where one can find concept art for movies in all stages of production. Like in Meinerding's own office, where a computer drawing of Thanos, for the upcoming Infinity Wars, is being projected onscreen, showing a smirking Thanos sans his customary armor. "He's awesome. He's powerful. He's got a big glove with some jewels in it," Meinerding plays coy. (Indeed, all the Infinity Stones are present.) What about that tower of deconstructed rubble behind him? "Oh... [Laughs] I can't talk about that one."
One office over, director Peyton Reed has popped in to work on Ant-Man & The Wasp. The walls are lined with concept art for the movie, including a gag with a bulldog chomping on Luis' shrunken van, a more metallic Hope van Dyne-era Wasp suit and rejiggered suits for Ant-Man and Giant-Man (Paul Rudd at various sizes). But is that Sharon Stone in the Janet van Dyne-era Wasp suit? Reed laughs, "It is not Sharon Stone."
And then there's something new: concept art of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, in a slightly darker and grittier take on her classic comic book suit, complete with the star on her chest and a shorter, blonde haircut. In another shot, she's seen fighting two metal robots with an inferno blazing around her fist. "It's just enough to inspire everyone, to get everyone super psyched," Latchman explains. "So by the time the Captain Marvel movie actually comes out, whether she'll be that exact costume? Who knows." It may change when a director is hired. "Actually, it does have a director. They've just--No?" Reed called from the back of the room. Latcham looked momentarily shocked before both laughed and said it was only a joke. (Or was it? Who knows.)
EDIT BAYS: A dimly lit room with one large screen and plenty of seating around it, where Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi is on hand to edit visual effects. For us, though, he's announcing a new character in the film--but it is not a classic Thor character. "He features heavily in the Planet Hulk storyline which we're borrowing from," Waititi says of Korg the Kronan, an 8-foot tall rock creature in, as he puts it, "a 2017 metal bikini."
"Being made of rocks, we really wanted to get someone like The Rock to play him, but there wasn't enough chicken or salmon in Australia to sustain both him and Chris [Hemsworth]," Waititi explains. "So, the next best thing was a hot--super hot--export from New Zealand. A great character actor named Taika."
Waititi provided a look at Korg in various stages of VFX, from the director donning the mo-cap suit ("The emasculation suit, as Mark Ruffalo likes to call it") to a rough cut of the scene where the lovable brute first meets and befriends Thor. I'll say this much: It's all very funny, closer to the tone of the director's last film, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, than The Dark World. Korg also has a silent sidekick, Miek, an insectoid larva-thing operating an exoskeleton with knife hands. Miek is absolutely repulsive and so, so cool.
SCREENING ROOM: An intimate theater in which co-president Louis D'Esposito claims all Marvel films start and end, and where we are being treated to dailies from "Motherland"--the production title of Black Panther. The footage is raw ("Blue screens. Bad sound. You're going to hear cursing. You're going to see a grip's leg in one shot," D'Esposito warns) but it really is quite stunning.
We see bits of two sequences, the first involving King T'challa's correlation at Warrior Falls: his royal bodyguards, the Dora Milaje, rhythmically stomping and chanting aboard a ship. A shirtless Boseman descending a set of stairs into a pool of water and receiving the power of the Black Panther. The footage is beautiful and colorful and musical--unlike anything we've seen in the MCU thus far. The second, potentially more spoiler-y sequence, involves Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis from Age of Ultron, upgraded with some sort of prosthetic arm) meeting Everett K. Ross (Martin Freeman from Captain America: Civil War) in a South Korean casino to discuss mixtapes and vibranium.
Following the dailies, D'Esposito cued a string of VFX shots from Spider-Man: Homecoming (or "Summer of George," as it was known). Director Jon Watts was busy scoring the movie with composer Giacchino, but our sampling of the 2,300 effect shots were so brief it's hard to describe exactly what we saw: Peter's pre-Civil War suit is the non-Stark Industries one seen in the trailer. One of the weapons wielded by the villains is a reclaimed and modified Ultron arm. Tom Holland's abs. "His body is real," D'Esposito joked. "We did not touch it."
THE COURTYARD: Our tour ends where it began, at an open-air courtyard in the center of the building where drinks and sushi are being served. "We go away and we have creative retreats together," Latchman adds. "Basically we'll rent a house in Palm Springs and we'll all go out to the desert with a big stack of Post-it notes and plan out the next Phase." What Marvel Phase were they discussing at their last retreat? "If I told you that, you guys would know everything!"
As a goodbye, we're greeted by president Kevin Feige, who oversees the entire operation and knows answers to questions that haven't even been asked yet. All Feige wants to talk about, though, is last weekend's Star Wars Celebration and The Last Jedi trailer. When the topic returns to Marvel's slate and specifics about, say, whether there's a Guardians of the Galaxy Easter egg in the new Thor trailer, he deadpans, "I can neither confirm nor deny." Alas, that answer is hidden somewhere else inside Marvel Studios.
#_revsp:new_provider_with_logo_342#_uuid:bc282c69-7ca6-3b3e-bb71-c4bcec663193#_lmsid:a0VK0000001yfWcMAI
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