#and helping one another and always be able to come back when you go on a wrong path ect...

[bluewxrld07]

Soap (2)

Lando Norris X F!Reader

Summary: Y/N has always loved hard and shows that through affection. Especially lately. She's a touch-starved kind of lovergirl, and Lando has always been okay with it. At least she thought so.

Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap

Warning(s): angst, possessiveness, physical altercations

A/N: Tag list is completely full!! You guys are amazing wtf😭🩵 The keyboard got away from me, guys. Good luck getting through this🤧. Oops hehe. There's a poll at the bottom, so feel free to vote after reading. See u soon, friends

The world was quiet.

It was calm, especially after all the noise from the race weekend.

Y/N was tired. She couldn't keep her eyes open, her mental state just shutting down the more she stayed awake.

It felt as if she was feeling everything at once, and that brought her to the point of numbness. Feeling nothing at all. Just complete tiredness.

Max looked back from the front seat, seeing her state, fighting the exhaustion from all the crying and debriefs they had stuck around for. He could see her mind shutting down, her eyes lazily following the objects that they passed by.

She had told him she would come out with them, despite the way her eyes were puffy as she assured him.

At this point, he would put a chair in front of the door to prevent her from leaving. There would always be another opportunity for her to go out with them. He couldn't bear to see how she'd try to hold herself while being out at a loud restaurant. Not after what happened.

It was the way Max's heart broke as he heard her sob to herself in his arms.

The last time he had ever seen her cry, let alone cry like this, was when her childhood cat had to be put down. That was almost six years ago.

She's the strongest person he's ever met, ever seen. Especially with what she deals with on a daily basis.

The girl was now slowly letting her eyes close, barely fighting it. Her eyes felt too sore and heavy to put any more battle into keeping herself fully conscious.

When they arrived back at the hotel, Max couldn't help but jump out of the car and quickly open her door.

He didn't hesitate to wrap one arm under her legs, the other around her back, before lifting her into his arms. His security guard scurried over with his arms out to take her instead, Max shaking his head. "I've got her, don't," he sternly orders, the guard nodding slowly before backing away and guiding them inside.

Max felt her grip tighten on his black button-up, clenching and unclenching as she tried fighting her tiredness.

He reached his hotel room, letting his guard swipe the keycard as Max nodded at him. "I won't be long," he says to him, receiving a nod as he holds the door open for the pair.

His guard closes the door behind them, standing outside to give Max privacy, while the driver walks Y/N over to his bed. He sets her body down softly on the mattress, watching her stir slightly to look at him with a furrow.

"Max," she mutters, her eyes barely able to keep her eyes open. "What's-"

He shook his head with a hum, sitting by her side and caressing her cheek. "No," he says. "You need to rest."

Her puffed eyes tried to look up at him through her lashes, and Max rubbed a thumb over the dried tears that sat on her cheek. "What about dinner?"

He chuckles softly. "There'll be plenty more," he nods down at her. "You need to let your body and mind rest after today," he tells her. He watches her softly grab his wrist, only to hesitate before her fingers could wrap around his skin, deciding against it and putting her hand down.

Max frowns as she turns away from him. "Schat?" he asks in confusion.

She shook her head. "Please just don't," her voice sounding shaky. "You're doing enough. I don't want to suffocate you."

Max swears his chest tightens at her words. She had never pushed his touch away. Let alone anyone's. "Schat, you aren't."

"Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I shouldn't be this way."

Oh, he was going to kill Lando.

Instead of saying anything else, knowing if she turned away, that she was truly done talking, he stood up and leaned over her with both of his hands caging her small figure in, holding him up from crushing her. He lets his lips press to her temple.

"You're never suffocating," he assures her. "Your love and affection with everyone is my favorite thing about you."

With that, he stands up slowly and turns around to walk towards the door to leave. He doesn't miss the way he hears her sobs quietly leave her lips, Max fighting with himself to just stay there and hold her the rest of the night.

Yet he knew that when she wanted space, which was a rare sighting, to give her the space she was creating.

Once he let the door shut softly behind him, he kept his head down while his mind raced a million miles a minute. His guard spoke up after a few moments. "Max?"

The Dutch driver clenches his jaw for a second, his head snapping up with a darker look in his eyes.

"Let's go, or we'll be late."

They were both off shortly after that, Max's pace faster with every step he took. He could feel his insides burning. Twisting.

The drive was quiet as they made their way to the restaurant, Max keeping his gaze out the window as he fidgeted with his bottom lip. His jaw was clenching and unclenching every other moment.

He didn't hesitate to whip his door open once they arrived, not giving the valet driver a chance to open it for him.

He was walking like he had a purpose, and in that moment, he did.

Once his eyes found the large table where the other drivers were sitting, he felt his face harden when he didn't see the familiar McLaren driver there.

The drivers all smile at Max when they see him, some of them soon frowning at his glare.

"Where's Norris?" his voice boomed out, not missing the flinches from a few of the guys that were close to him.

Oscar, being the only one who knew what was about to happen, answers first. "Max, don't."

Max scoffs and swats at him. "Geef me die onzin niet, where is he?" (Don't give me that shit, where is he?)

Everyone's demeanor had dropped immediately, knowing that when Max started speaking Dutch, he was not to be messed with. He was already pissed, and when a pissed off Max is near, nobody wanted to be in that damage path.

"Where?" his voice booms, getting some stares thrown his way. He didn't care.

"I think he went to the bathroom. Said something about needing to freshen up," Pierre announces, not failing to watch as Max makes his way over towards the direction of the restrooms.

Once Max found the hallway leading down to the men's room, he pushed the door open, seeing Lando in front of the sink, patting water over his face. His gaze slowly turned over when he heard the door slam open, his entire face falling and turning white.

"Max-"

"Jij verdomde klootzak," (You fucking bastard) he laughs bitterly, stalking closer to Lando, who was backing away slowly as the Dutch driver got closer.

"How dare you?" Max growls. "Hm? How fucking dare you?" his tone getting louder before he pushes Lando hard. Lando put his hands up in surrender, trying to sputter out apologies.

"I give you my fucking blessing for her, and this? This is how you treat her? Are you fucking serious, Norris?" his voice booms, echoing across the bathroom walls. He pushes Lando harshly with every word that leaves his mouth.

"Max, look. I was upset with the race, I didn't-"

"I don't give a fuck if it's about the DNF. I wouldn't give a fuck if you got a disqualification penalty! You don't fucking treat her like she's some fucking scum on the bottom of your shoe!" he screams, giving one final hard push to Lando's chest, the thump of his back meeting the marble walls behind him echoing loudly.

"I didn't mean it, I just was frustrated-"

"Jouw gevoelens kunnen mij niks schelen, Norris!" (I don't care about your fucking feelings, Norris!) Max yells back bitterly, his hands slamming against the wall right next to Lando's head. Lando clenched his jaw, holding himself back as he let Max scream at him. He deserved that. He deserved a lot worse if he were honest.

Before he can even put another hand on Lando, Lewis and Oscar scurry inside, grabbing Max by his shoulders to pull him away from Lando.

"Let's not do this," Lewis says to Max as the Dutch fights his hold. He points at Lando.

"You realize you made her cry, Lando? She rarely does, and you made tears fall from her eyes!"

Lando felt his heart clench, his stomach dropping as he remembered the tears glossing over her eyes. "I didn't mean-"

"I held her there, as she sobbed in my arms. Sobbed! Saying she felt like an inconvenience, like she suffocates people. What did you fucking say to her?"

Lando couldn't get the words out, but Max already knew in that moment. His eyes widened, seeing that just by Lando's face alone, it really was all true. He said she was suffocating. Clingy. Lando said her touch was too much. Max scoffs bitterly, rolling his eyes.

"You're fucking dead to me, Norris," he spat, letting Lewis guide him out of the bathroom. "Verdomd dood!" (Fucking dead!) he yells back once more before leaving with Lewis.

Oscar has his arms crossed, turning back to face Lando, who just stands there in shock. "Mate, what did you do?" he asks in a knowing tone, more so making it sound like a rhetorical question.

Lando lets out a strangled sob as he begins to rub his face, sliding down against the wall. "I fucked up is what I did."

"He's going to have your head," he tuts, walking over to his friend and extending a hand. "Literally and figuratively. He's going to kill you next race."

Lando shook his head, keeping his stare over at the door, waiting for Max to come barging back in. "He's gonna kill me before we even make it to practice day."

Once Oscar had helped Lando clean himself up, looking more presentable, they left the men's room.

They made it to the table, seeing Max's spot was still empty, Lando felt his insides churn. Waiting for Max to pop up behind him somehwere.

"Where's Max?" Oscar asked as they sat down.

Lewis answers this time. "He left," he admits. "He said he'd rather be taking care of Y/N than be here. Said if he stayed any longer, he was going to throw something at Lando or drag him out by his ear."

Lando let out a groan, letting his head fall onto the table with a thud.

"Mate, what the actual fuck did you do to piss him off so badly?" Charles asked across the table. Lando just shook his head.

"He made Y/N cry from my understanding," Lewis reveals, causing every single head at the table to turn to Lando.

"What did you do? She never cries," George spoke up, a frown on his face. Most of the guys agreeing, being just as confused as Russell was.

Oscar spoke up this time, pursing his lips. "He let his anger out on her. Said she's suffocating and clingy basically."

"Oscar!" Lando seethes, snapping his head over at his teammate, a glare on his face. Oscar shrugged while sipping his drink, all the guys exchanging whispers and groans at Lando.

"Mate, you fucked up. Bad," Oscar says, not backing down.

"You're absolute toast."

"Max is going to have your head on a stick."

"I'm shocked he didn't drag you out already."

"Mate, you're in deep shit. Max doesn't play when it comes to her."

Lando groans before raising his hands to stop them from commenting more.

"I know. Guys, I know!" he snaps, making them all go quiet. "I just- I let my anger get hold of my emotions at the wrong time. I regret it with everything in me. I do."

"You don't realize how bad that is. You're lucky he let you even get a chance to be with her. His possessive ass," Lewis scoffs more to himself as he shook his head, sipping on his drink. The entire table looks his way, Lando frowning at his words.

"What's supposed to mean?" Lando sputters, feeling offended by Hamilton's words.

Lewis set his drink down, crossing his arms over the table while leaning towards Lando's direction.

"It means he doesn't share," he admits. "Not Y/N at least."

Lando feels his heart drop to his ass.

No. There was no way. He would've known.

Lando tilts his head, eyes squinting knowingly. He shook his head. "No. He's not, there's no way."

George cuts in, eyebrows furrowing. "What am I missing?"

Lewis leans back in his chair. "Max has been in love with Y/N for years," He says, reaching for his drink once more. Everyone at the table stays silent. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"When she told him she wanted to be with you, he wanted her to be happy. After everything she helped him through growing up, she was his escape. Especially when his dad was harsh on him. He vowed to always make sure she was happy. He knew you could give her that, but he fought himself a lot with going against it."

Lando feels his insides caving as Lewis reveals every word. "He saw how happy you made her. That's all he ever wants for her, even if it's not him," he chuckles, seeing Lando's face. "He did say if it didn't work out between you two, that he would make that move."

Lando leans back in his seat with a groan, head falling back while he rubs his face out of stress, curses leaving his lips.

"So, if you thought you had any chance to win her back, Max is going to try and beat you to it. You probably have lost your chance," Lewis points out, sipping on his drink.

"And if we know anything about Max." George trails off.

"He never loses. Especially when it's something he wants."

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It was the next morning. Clouds covered the sky as it cried.

Max sat with his back against the headboard of his bed, hearing the door open from the bathroom. Y/N just finishing up a shower.

She hadn't really slept. When she would finally hit a deeper level of slumber, she would jolt up crying.

She didn't even let Max get close to her, not wanting to be touched, which was a new thing she was doing. Max hated it. He hated that she felt as if her needing and wanting touch to calm down was too much.

So he would sit there, feeling helpless, as she just held herself.

He had snuck down the hallway earlier that morning while she was somewhat asleep, packing up all of her things that were in her hotel room, bringing them up to his own. Knowing full well she'd end up doing that in the morning anyway.

She hated being alone when she was hurting. It was rare, but when it happened, Max was always there. He could always pick up on it.

He straightens up slightly when she walks around the corner, donning a pair of her sweats and one of his Redbull t-shirts. Deciding to stick with comfier pair of clothes for the flight back home.

Max had declined going to the F1 premiere, wanting to focus on Y/N as well as just not liking the idea of being stuck in New York around the press. Or having to keep things professional with Lando when he wanted to run him over with his car.

"You all packed up?" he asks softly, watching her nod.

He doesn't miss the way her face was blotched and puffy again, signaling she had cried a bit more while in the bathroom.

"Schat," he trails off in a sadder tone, getting up from his bed to walk to her. Y/N backs away from Max, shaking her head. "Please," she croaks. "Just don't touch me. Not right now."

Max stops in his tracks, feeling his heart hurt at her words. He nods reluctantly, deciding instead to busy himself with gathering both of their bags. His gaze going to see outside by the entry, seeing some fans and paps already waiting by the cars.

"They're lining up outside," he says slowly, handing her a hoodie to throw over her head. She says nothing, only sniffling as she puts it on.

The pair don't say anything more as they finished grabbing their things, leaving the hotel room to head downstairs.

Max would usually stop to take a few photos with the fans that stood outside, but he was only keeping his mind on getting Y/N past the crowd.

The security guards held the front door open as they saw Max and Y/N making their way outside, another guard going over to open the car door.

Max makes his way in front of her to shield the other side from seeing her, keeping his gaze on her figure. Y/N didn't hesitate to scurry into the car, Max pressing a hand softly on her back to help her up into the car. The man ignored the calls and pleas of his name before stepping inside the car behind her.

The door shuts behind the guard who climbs in after Max, soon being driven off towards the airport.

It was quiet the entire way there, Max keeping a close but safe distance from her in the shared backseat. He doesn't miss how her phone buzzes, seeing her peer down at it only to double-click the home button to decline it.

Lando had been blowing up her phone since the night before. Especially after Max had left, her phone wouldn't stop buzzing.

Y/N declined every call, putting his messages on Do Not Disturb. The more she sat with what he had said to her, the more it made her think back to every time he made a face when she would touch him.

She didn't know how long he felt that way with her, Y/N letting her mind overthink to the point it made her feel sick.

It wasn't good for her, and she knew that. She couldn't help it. Not when she had given herself fully to Lando in every way. Thinking he was it for her. That he was all she wanted. She was all he wanted. So she thought.

Max watched as she began to pinch at the skin on her wrists, something she did when her mind wouldn't stop running.

"Genoeg lieverd. Je zult je huid weer beschadigen," (Enough, darling. You'll damage the skin again) he says softly to her. She doesn't acknowledge his words, only pinching harder to try and stop her mind.

Max didn't hesitate in the next few moments, not caring if she yelled or glared at him as he touched her. He reached over to grab her hands, holding onto them. She snaps her gaze away from the window with a frown.

He looks at her. "If you're going to pinch skin, pinch mine. Not yours," he instructs. Y/N doesn't see anything but assurance in his eyes, Max nodding slowly with a hum. "You can't hurt me. You never could."

Y/N bites her lip before nodding. Max has her lean into his body as she begins to fidget again. But this time, with his own hands.

Max lets his head fall onto her own, watching her whole body, for the first time in the last day, soften. The more she fidgeted, seeing how it didn't hurt or affect him in any way, the more it relaxed her mind. She didn't know why.

It brought her a calming sensation, feeling Max's touch against her own body, and it made her whole body begin to relax.

Once they had arrived at the airport, Max didn't release her hands once. He kept his hands laced with her own. He only removed them once to adjust his hold, having her walk behind him as he made her lace her hands with his behind his back. They stayed that way as they walked up into the jet.

Max helped her set her backpack down on one of the cushioned chairs, and that was the time he released her hands.

He thanked the flight attendant crew as they loaded their things onto the jet, then exchanged a few words with his security guard and publicist.

Y/N stood there with an exhausted look in her eyes, just wanting to finally sleep. Let her mind and her body rest.

Once Max was done talking to them, he made his way over towards her figure. He didn't say anything, only guiding her to the back of the private jet. Y/N followed him slowly, Max opening the door to the small bedroom.

A bed in the corner, a TV sitting in front of it, while there was a recliner chair embedded into the floor on the other side of the room with a table in front of it.

This was usually where Max disappeared to when they had long flights, knowing he tried sleeping whenever he could get the chance.

He shut the door behind her softly before crawling into bed and getting comfy. Max turns back to her, seeing her stand there looking absolutely defeated.

"Come on," he assures, motioning for her to come lie down. Y/N shrugs. "I don't want to take up your space."

Max gives her a knowing look, clenching his jaw. "You could never. You know that," he says, his tone more stern. "Lay down."

Instead of her prying and arguing more, knowing she wouldn't win it, she doesn't fight it, not having anything left in that moment. Y/N cautiously goes to climb in, keeping her distance as best as she can. Giving him his space.

Max notices her actions, immediately ignoring the eyeroll he wanted to do, and wraps his arms around her waist to pull her back towards his figure.

She lets out a low squeak at his actions, and Max turns her to lie against him. He doesn't miss the way her body instantly caves into his side, him helping her lie her head on his chest as he laces their hands together in case she begins to pinch and pick at her skin again.

"Je hoeft je geen zorgen te maken, ik heb je lieverd," (You don't have to worry, I got you darling) he mumbles against her temple. He hears her sigh, the way he knows she is fighting with her body in her head. The way she tries to tense, but her body craves every touch that's being given to her. "Sleep."

That's all he has to mutter to her before her eyes finally begin to close, the closeness of another one's body heat lulling her into a deeper slumber.

Max kisses her head, letting his thumb caress the top of her hand as he feels the tenseness in her body falter away. He kisses her head once more.

"I've got you."

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A/N: Me after pressing "Post now"

Sooooooo hehe.... That got away from me, and I'm not sorry. Lando is a dumbass as we know. Are we loving a protective Max? How're we feeling overall, friends? Vote below. I love you guys <3, I'll see you soon ;)

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[idyllwave]

30 MILLION TO 1

yandere!phainon x fem!reader | part i. π

he wanted peace, if only for just one cycle, but did he even deserve that sentiment? well, someone thought he did, at least.

word count | ~2.7k

cw | angst , death , yandere!phainon , 30 million cycles , grammatical errors , etc.

the drabble that inspired this fic.

“I’m going to check out this stellaron reading, and then I’ll be back before either of you know it!”

You had a smile on your lips as you made a quick game plan to shoot at Welt and Himeko. The two, of course, being less than thrilled to send you on your merry way.

“Y/n… we really don’t want to send you on your own.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’ve been on my own before with these types of missions and I always come back a-ok! Besides Dan Heng and March are busy going to the Herta Space Station. And you two need to back them up.”

“But that will leave you with no back up-“

“We’ve been through worse. Besides, all I need to do is get the stellaron and come right back. Easy-peasy.”

Welt and Himeko looked to one another before both of them relented.

“Just…be careful,” Welt finally said.

“I always am. I’ll be back before anyone knows it!”

You waved to them as you left to your room to prepare for your hopefully short journey, and after borrowing a single train car, you were on your merry way, but like all promises that you make as a trailblazer – things never go as planned as you find yourself stranded on another planet, your communications being cut off and useless, and your transportation being rendered as a safety hazard.

“Out of all the times that I promise nothing bad is going to happen, of course something goes wrong when I don’t have any means of getting backup…,” you muttered to yourself. Whether it be good or bad fortune, you found yourself on a world you didn’t know the name of and were thankfully able to blend in with the crowd as you found the nearest city and got a change of clothes to match the people around you. And with a few quick conversations here and there you learned some key details…

They were isolated and didn’t know that space travel existed, they have these beings called titans, the world is on the brink of destruction, and there is a prophecy highlighting a group of heroes that are to save the world.

“Chrysos Heirs,” you asked, “I don’t think I ever seen one in person,” you said as a girl you were talking to giggled a littler and pointed towards the entrance of the city you were in, “see the man entering now,” she asked. You followed her pointer finger. Your gaze landing on a white haired man – but his whole appearance caused you to frown. He looked so … beaten down. Was it normal for Chrysos Heirs to look like that?

“Well, he isn’t a Chrysos Heir yet, but I hear that he will be soon! His name is Phainon and he helps out anyone and everyone!”

You watched carefully for a moment. You saw the way people crowded him as he walked forward, but it didn’t seem like he was in any shape to listen. You stood up from your spot on the bench and followed after him – the confused questions from the girl you were talking to fading in the distance.

His feet felt like heavy weighted stone, but he still managed to drag himself into the inner part of the city. People greeted him, others stopped him to ask for help. An emergency here. An emergency there. Like clockwork he could already guess what each person was after and what they wanted from him. He remembered their faces, their names, their past present and future requests. He remembered them all dying and how he wasn’t able to save anyone. Their screams as fresh on his mind as they were in the past one thousand cycles. And he was tired.

He could feel how tired he was when he got to a fountain, his body collapsing as he sat on the edge of it, head hung low as he rested his elbows on his thighs. He knew he had to try harder. That he needed to try a different approach to somehow stop all the future destruction that was going to happen, but … maybe in this one cycle…he can rest. Maybe just be elsewhere. Travel to a new place. Be someone else-

“Are you alright?”

Almost like a saving grace, someone had called out to him, but truthfully he didn’t want to reach out – he didn’t want to answer. Just for a little bit, he did not want to be asked of anything, needed for anything, or be expected of anything. So with his silence, he hoped this person would go away.

They didn’t.

Instead, they sat next to him, their arm wrapping around his shoulders as they pulled him in and he felt himself leaning into their chest. Soft and warm was the only way he could describe how this person felt right now. And before he could say anything, they had raised their other hand and gently ran their fingers through his hair. Their nails carding along his scalp. He didn’t know if he hated or liked how disarming he felt at that moment. How safe he felt. He decided to keep his eyes closed and relax in this person’s hold. While momentarily thinking of who it could be. Mydei wouldn’t be this soft, Aglaea was too stoic, Castorice is unable to touch others, Hyacine is too short, Cipher wouldn’t bother, and Anaxa doesn’t have the physique.

So why would an ordinary citizen treat him like this? Why would they even care?

When he got the courage to ask, the person started to sing a soft, quiet lullaby – their voice soothing to his ears as he relaxed again.

It wasn’t unnatural for strangers to comfort each other here, especially since the battles have been getting more frequent and even worse lately, but it just surprises him that someone would even bother to comfort him. Wasn’t there a child in need of this sort of comfort more than him? Wasn’t there someone more deserving of such care and attention? What has he even done to warrant such kindness anyway?!

“We can stay like this for as long as you want.”

For as long as he wants? He hated how his chest tightened, how his throat closed up, how his eyes stung behind his eyelids, and how tears threatened to escape from the corners of his eyes. A hero doesn’t cry. Not like this.

And just when a tear escaped, the person who was holding him had wiped it away before anyone walking past could notice. As if it didn’t even happen. They didn’t even say anything about it either. Like a hushed secret between the both of them.

It wasn’t until the sun hung high that Phainon gently pulled away and finally looked over.

3141592. The current number of which cycle he was on flashed through his mind as he looked at you. His eyes mapping out the curves of your lips, the slope of your nose, the way your eyes crinkled with a sort of soft kindness as you looked back at him.

“Feeling better?”

Your voice fit with your face perfectly.

“I- uhm”

And it definitely wasn’t normal for him to be so tongue tied either.

“I’m better, thank you…”

You gave him your name as you held out your hand to him, which he happily took. Your palm was soft – silk smooth without a single callous. When was the last time he held someone’s hand to just, well…, hold it?

“Anytime,” you said.

“Really?”

He meant the word to come out as teasing as he was trying to get his usual air of confidence back. As if trying to get the mask on again.

“Of course, anytime you need a shoulder to lean on, I’ll be here.”

Out of all the cycles he’s been in, all the cycles he went through, he never met you – never even seen you before. But he was grateful for it now. This chance meeting between cycles.

“I’ll be sure to hold you to it then,” he said as he stood up while pulling you up as well as he still had your hand in his grip, “however, I would like to meet with you again, not for this reason though.”

You nodded, “I would like that Phainon. How about later this week?”

“How about tomorrow?”

Did he sound too eager?

You didn’t seem to mind as you agreed which he was very much grateful for, “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he said.

“Tomorrow for sure.”

To be honest, you didn’t expect that you would be comforting someone who you had heard was a hero to the people, but you figured that even heroes need to be saved. Especially considering that when you saw him enter the city he had looked as if he had lost everything without losing anything at all. It was a look that made your heart weep. A look that reminded you of a poor kicked puppy. You wanted to make sure that that look never showed up on his face again, and all too quickly tomorrow had come, and you wondered how you would meet Phainon again. Neither of you really said where you would meet or at what time either. So you set off for that familiar fountain early in the morning. It wasn’t like you had anything else to do today anyway.

And much to your surprise, Phainon was already there waiting.

His smile seemed to light up the surrounding area as he crossed the remaining distance to meet you. There was a bounce in his step, his shoulders were squared, his posture was straight, and his whole demeanor seemed so much more lighter than yesterday. It made you smile.

“Good morning,” he sounded breathless as if he had ran to meet you.

“Good morning to you too… did you get done training or something?”

“Yeah, something like that,” he said with a laugh as he raised his hadn to scratch the back of his head, “and now that we are meeting like this … I actually have no idea what we should do from here.”

Your eyes crinkled and smile widened in a way that made his heart hit hard in his chest. You reached for his hand, and gently tugged him to follow you, “good thing I already thought up some stuff for us to do and see then, huh?”

“Y- yeah.”

Did he deserve this? Probably not. But it wasn’t going to stop him from enjoying it anyway. And he learned a lot about you in that single day. He couldn’t stop himself from memorizing every single detail. He knew he shouldn’t, but … it was difficult not to. Not when you make yourself so likable. Of course, he knew you weren’t doing it on purpose. It was just the type of person you were.

Before he could stop himself, he asked you to hangout tomorrow, and the day after, and even the day after that as well. It became a recurring cycle where he just couldn’t let you go – no matter how hard he tried to tell himself that he had to and that he didn’t deserve your kindness, care, or attention. However, soon, he stopped listening to that nagging part of his mind and had begun to latch onto you without mercy.

He followed you around like a lost puppy. Looked to you for attention and validation. Sometimes he would even ignore the pleas of others if it meant getting to you faster. You were becoming his destruction.

And he wanted to hasten the process even more. Even when the days with you turned into weeks and weeks turned into years. He didn’t let you pull away even as he became a Chrysos Heir.

Tribbie giggled behind her hand as she looked up at Phainon, “you should confess to her!”

“Huh,” Phainon snapped his head to her.

“You two aren’t getting any younger.”

“And someone else may sweep her off her feet before you do,” Castorice interjected quickly as she stood a little off to the side. Phainon huffed. Never in any of the previous cycles did he have to deal with this type of conversation. It was taking him off his game.

“Someone else… huh?”

He was confident that no one could compare to him and he knew your schedule like the back of his hand. You weren’t seeing anyone. In fact, he knew you were getting off work and heading his way right now. And there was, of course, another reason too...

“I’m sure there isn’t anyone else,” he finally said and Castorice shook her head, “you don’t know that.”

But he did. Your friends beside himself weren’t confident enough to dig up any buried feelings they might have, no one dared to come up to you when he was around, and yes there was Mydei, but the immortal man had no interest in you as far as he was aware.

“You two worry too much,” he finally said and before either of them could say anything else you had called out to him from a distance causing him to look over and smile as you raised your hand to wave at him.

“Now, if you’ll both excuse us.”

He turned back towards you and went to meet you halfway.

“Y/n!”

He smiled at you as he opened his arms and grabbed you into a hug, “how was work? Anything exciting happen? That same customer still bothering you? Did you eat? Hydrate? Need to sit down somewhere-?”

You hushed him by standing on your tippy toes and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Yeah … that was another reason why you wouldn’t go for anyone else. Phainon already took you for himself, and it took a lot in him to not turn around and give the two an ‘I told you so’ look.

“I’m fine, Phainon,” you said with a laugh against his lips before pulling away, I’m just happy to see you now. You reached for one of his hands to hold when he let you go from his hug, “now, let’s go home. I’m exhausted.”

“Of course!”

He turned to look back at Tribbie and Castorice and … as expected, the two didn’t see that kiss coming. He smirked at them and gave them a polite wave goodbye. Sure his friends didn’t know about his relationship with you, but he also wasn’t keeping it a secret either. He just- didn’t like other people seeing your cute side was all.

Anyway…, he knew you weren’t actually tired. You were only saying that so he could rest and take a breather since he has been on a few tough missions lately.

Like most days, your shared home was filled with books stacked on the coffee table in the living room, each and every title ranged from mythical tales of space travel and new worlds. He always thought it was cute how interested you were in fantasy novels like that. Though, sometimes when he looked at you, he wondered if there was more to the story. Like the clothes you keep hidden in the box under the bed. He already sifted through them and they weren’t anything like the clothing styles he was used to seeing. Then there was your phone. It was locked by a password, but he swore the home page image was of a pitch black sky littered with stars. Where you could have taken the picture couldn’t have been anywhere here. And with the way you acted to information you didn’t know about this place was also another dead giveaway and it would also explain why he never met you before.

Just thinking about how you could be from another world excited him to no end. With this theory in mind, he wondered why he didn’t see you in previous cycles … probably because you traveled to other places on this world – he was sure of it.

If the next cycle were to happen, he wondered how he could find you again. Would you be drawn to him? Remember him maybe? He hoped you would. But if you didn’t, then that was alright too. He could always find you. In fact, tracking you through the city was easy. Especially since you didn’t wander off to unknown places or mingle with shady characters. It definitely made things easier.

“You really like these books, huh?”

Like always, Phainon did try to see if he could pry the information from you gently, so he could get that little confirmation that yes you were not from this world.

“I do!”

As expected, you never did give anything away. He couldn’t be mad though. It’s not like he told you about the cycles or about his home either. He actually quite liked how you two had things right now. A simple life where he could enjoy a little peace. Though, that wasn’t going to stop him from taking even more from you in the next cycle.

“Can you read to me?”

He posed the question gently, in that sweet tone that he knew would disarm you. Not that you ever denied him before. He knew you could say no, but he liked how you never said no to him.

[skhv67]

cw: smut, fingering, afab reader, not proofread

Imagine risking your life during a game to help Hyun-ju out. It was stupid and unnecessary, she always has the upper hand, she's the one that always has to help everybody. So imagine her shock when she saw you giving away your location away during Keys and Knives to divert the attention from the room they were hiding in. Her anxiety was through the roof as she watched people coming back to the increasingly emptier room after the game, looking for your face frantically.

But to her surprise and relief, you survive!

You're not sure what you're expecting after your risky plan, but it was certainly not the tall, usually soft-spoken woman grabbing you so roughly and screaming at you for being so reckless.

You watch her storm off without being able to do anything, still shaken from the chase to process her frustrated words. Something about seeing her usually composed self absolutely lose it in front of your very own eyes, while also being the reason for that anger, made your heart rate pick up anxiously.

How dare you test the endless patience she has reserved only for you? How dare you risk the life she goes above and beyond to keep safe every game?

It's not until late at night that you decide to do something about the stabbing pain in your stomach and leave your bed to approach her.

You had trouble finding her bed hidden in a corner of the dark room, but her silhouette under the bed sheets was unmistakable.

Without a second thought, you lay down facing her back. She doesn't even react, recognizing you even without sparing you a look.

"I'm sorry"

As expected, she doesn't respond, though you can tell she's awake. Her body felt tense under your discreet touches. Your begging wasn't visibly working, so you insisted by leaving a trail of kisses on the back of her neck. A subtle gasp letting you know the effectiveness of your plan.

"I risk my life to keep you safe and you just-"

"I know"

You hear a sigh coming out of her lips, shoulders finally relaxing against your touch.

"I know, pretty girl"

The sweet nickname was the last thing she needed to give up and fully melt against your body. The little innocent pecks quickly become a wet mess of marks and bites on the sensitive skin of her neck.

She wasn't strong enough after everything she's had to endure during this game to resist your tantalizing voice. And she had no patience for your games.

Before you know it, she's straddling your waist, keeping your hands in a firm grip above your head. Even in hasty moments like this, you can't help but notice how gentle and careful she is handling you, her sweet nature showing even in the naughtiest situations.

After making sure you're both covered by the blanket, she covered your mouth with her hand before sliding the other down to your panties. She didn't waste no time teasing, you could feel another side of her previous frustration in the way she rubbed your clit in messy circles, eager to make you squirm under her touch. She left a trail of sloppy kisses along the edge of your jaw, her motions hurrying by the second.

A broken moan threatened to break through the thin gaps between her fingers. She could even make out her name between all the incomprehensible sounds coming out of your shut mouth.

You had missed how well she reached those soft spots reserved only for her long fingers and how she always knew what pace your body needed to go dumb under her control.

Her movements get rougher, almost as if she was letting everything she's pent up out on you, but it's not like you'd notice, too lost in the friction of her fingers against your walls.

Your climax was way too close for you to have any sense of control over your noises. Thankfully, Hyun-ju was kind enough to shove her tongue into your mouth to muffle your sounds as much as possible to avoid being caught.

Your warmth spasming around her fingers only made her miss home more than before, bringing her back to the reality you're both trapped in.

"I'm sorry"

"I know," she whispered softly while pulling you into her to rest for what's left of the night until next day's nightmare.

[hencheri]

— ENHYPEN & what they’re into !

▸ 18+ mdni.

| pairing. bfs!enhypen x fem!reader

| warnings. daddy kink, allusions to sub/dom dynamics, rough sex (nothing intense but still), squirting, idk very cute stuff overall ngl lol.

| a.n.: in my normie era pls i love it. let me know if i should do more <3 (i probably will anyway)

HEESEUNG — dry humping

having you close to him, still in your clothes, desperately humping each other turns him on to another level. he loves the friction it creates, especially how your clothed pussy rubs over his hard cock back and forth. the extra layers of clothes might be a bother to other people, but to heeseung, it's what makes everything ten times better. it makes you needier, so eager to reach your high and he's happy to help you, grinding his bulge harder against your cunt until you cum. you're always so frail in his arms after, shaking like a leaf, holding tight onto him. then comes his favourite part where he looks at the state of your panties, all soaked in your wetness, pulling them down your legs and revealing your sticky folds that he doesn't wait to push himself in between.

JAY — fingering

if there's one thing that jay loves more than making you cum around his cock, it's making you cum on his fingers. he has you in his lap, legs spread open for him, freely moaning into his ear to go harder, faster, and to please, let you cum. he doesn't let it happen until he's certain you're completely ruined, drunk on his fingers thrusting inside of you and repeatedly hitting your sweet spot. "were you a good girl to daddy, today?" he asks, wanting you to comply to all of his demands, to say yes just because you need to cum so badly. you dumbly nod your head, promise jay that, yes, you were good to him today and he makes sure to reward you, letting you cum around his fingers while he kisses down your neck.

JAKE — hair pulling

it goes both ways; you gripping his locks tightly as he eats you out or him holding your hair as he pounds into you from behind. he thrills on the feeling of your fingers pulling on his hair when the pleasure is too much. you have to grip something, anything, and the first thing you reach is his head of black hair. he always hisses through his teeth when you accidentally pull a little too roughly, but he doesn't mind it at all, he loves it. it's the same thing when he has his cock into you, his hips slamming into your ass, having a fistful of your hair and shoving your head into the pillow to muffle down your moans or bring you in for a messy kiss.

SUNGHOON — anal

he's really obsessed with anal since always. if his porn search history isn't enough to tell, sleeping with him is. the first time he's with you, he's already talking about it; "what do you think about it?", "would you like to try?", "is it something you think you could enjoy?", and because you're as perverted as your boyfriend, of course you like it. he knows it's a process, but he's willing to do all that it takes to finally be able to fuck your ass. it doesn't stop there, though—sunghoon wants to eat your ass, too. there's just something about your moans, how melodic they sound, and your legs thrown over his shoulders, licking your rim while he circles your clit with his thumb. or the sight of your ass dripping from his cum, your poor cunt neglected as it clenches at the pace of your heartbeat. saying he's obsessed is an understatement—he's in love with it.

SUNOO — head

oral sex is simply sunoo's thing—you could even say he's an expert at it. making you feel good with his tongue is what he loves the most, really. there's nothing better than the sweet taste of your pussy in his mouth, licking and sucking like he would when kissing you. he doesn't use his fingers a lot, he prefers to make you cum solely with his mouth, but when he does, it always ends in a big, big mess. so that's why when he brings out a towel and places it underneath you, you know you're in for something intense. he loves to make you feel good, almost euphoric, because you praise him so much and you're so grateful to him after. sunoo's surely not against receiving either—after all the love he gives to your pussy, it's only fair you do the same for him.

JUNGWON — hickeys

he's a biter, and what's his favourite thing to bite? you. you always feel so soft against him, so small and perfect, he just has to bite you and leave his mark behind. your thighs, your breasts, your neck, your arms... he needs to suck on every patch of skin he sees on you. you're his girlfriend and he loves you—it's his way of cherishing you. but as much as he likes to mark you in love bites, he literally melts under your touch. jungwon's so whiny when you kiss him down his neck, so needy as your kisses turn into bites. they're sweet and soft like you, it tickles, and you're so cute trying to leave hickeys on him. he always pushes your hips down when you're straddling him, making you feel his hard cock through his clothes, tilting his head to the side to expose more of his neck to you.

NIKI — making-out

it may sound boring or simple, but to niki, making-out is the total opposite of that... it's hot, wet, desperate and his favourite thing ever to do with you. he loves foreplay before anything, he could honestly only do that instead of sex and he'd be just as satisfied. you get so grabby when you're kissing; your fingers passing through his long hair or clenching around his t-shirt. niki gets as equally touchy, if not more. he's bold enough to sneak his hands under your top, even into your pants. you don't mind it—on the contrary, you like it so much. when his fingers ghost over your clothed pussy, you inevitably whine into his mouth, pressing your body closer to his if it's even possible at this point. niki loves to feel the heat of your cunt against him, and it's even better when he has his tongue in your mouth, his teeth biting your lips. he wants to be in charge, be the dominant one and guide you, but he quickly loses track of his thoughts once you start grinding your hips against his.

—-

a.n.: i still don't write for sunoo but i wanted to include him in this anyway <3 pls let me know what you think about these, should i make more for other groups?? again, i'd appreciate it so much if you could reblog/comment or send an ask, wtv you're the most comfortable with. it might seem short but it really took me a lot of time to write lol!! ty <33

[syndrossi]

Another prompt fill from the weekend. (I was hoping for some celebratory fills, but alas!)

No Daemon in this one; I forgot about that part when I was writing it. 😂

x~x~x

Apparently one does not even need daughters to enjoy braiding, Rhaenyra thought with amusement, surveying the line of princes and princesses hard at work. She was currently working on Rhaella’s hair, which had the same pleasing thickness as Daemon’s. Rhaegar’s texture was the same, identical to his sister’s, while Jon’s was slightly finer, with a hint of curl to it like that of her own boys.

Her young cousin had Rhaegar before her, quietly at work on his hair while he braided Helaena’s. Her little sister meanwhile was happily wreaking havoc on Jon’s hair, to his utter lack of concern, even though some of the small braids must be pinching him terribly.

Perhaps their example might sway my sons. The longest she had been able to convince Jace to grow his had been to his chin before he had grown impatient with the length and wanted it cut. Rhaenyra could press the matter, of course, and she had considered it. Harwin did not wear his long. But it invited scrutiny either way; she had come to learn that there was no right path. Either I am flaunting their blood, or I am desperately trying to hide it.

Rhaenyra reached for the two jeweled crescent moon combs that her mother had given to her many years before, threading both through Rhaella’s braids to secure them in place before drawing back to admire her handiwork.

They suit her. Rhaella glanced back at her with a sweet smile, her violet eyes no more than a shade or two darker than her own. She looks as though she could be my daughter. Mine and Daemon’s.

Rhaenyra loved her sons with all her heart, but there was something different about a daughter. The skills she had acquired, the lessons that life and bitter experience had imparted upon her—so many of them were of no use to a son. 

And then there were her jewels, her circlets from when she was a girl, her favorite dresses, the stylings she had invented with the help of her own mother. It did not seem fair that she should have so much, and yet no daughter of her own to give them to.

“Would you like to see?” Rhaenyra asked, once Rhaella had put her own final touches on Rhaegar’s hair.

“Yes, please,” her cousin said.

Rhaenyra led her over to the mirror, taking a hand mirror to angle it so that she could see the braids in the back.

“Oh!” Rhaella said, hand going to the two silver-and-black crescent combs. “They are beautiful.”

“They were my mother’s,” Rhaenyra said. “And now they are yours.”

Rhaella turned back to her, eyes widening. “I could not possibly—”

“I have commanded it,” Rhaenyra said, smiling to make it clear that she spoke in jest. “Who else would I give them to?”

Rhaella’s gaze flicked toward Helaena briefly, and Rhaenyra’s smile froze in place. She was fond of her little sister, but her father had nearly tripped over her mother’s corpse in his haste to marry Alicent. She will never have my mother’s jewels. Not Alicent, and not Helaena. Rhaenyra had made that demand of her father, and he had agreed.

No, Rhaenyra could remember trips to the Giant’s Toe as a child, and Daemon making her mother laugh by convincing her father to engage in the most ridiculous of antics. She loved Daemon. Not in the way that she had loved Rhaenyra’s father, but she had always been the one to soothe ruffled feathers whenever he and Daemon found one another at odds.

“She would want you to have them,” Rhaenyra said firmly.

[comehereoohlala]

vocal rest

summary: in sickness and in health.

rating: mature (16+)

tags: established relationship, fem!reader, anxiety, sickness (flu/cold), references to chronic illness/pain

words: 1,550

note: sickfic requested by @cervidaewasteland <3 but i feel like i kinda trailed off. there's quite a bit of other stuff in here. writing is my diary i can't help it once i start i can't stop, sorry. i also don't beta any of my work cause i'm too embarrassed about my writing so if it reads terribly just pretend you don't see. or read actually lol.

fic under the cut ❊

"I'm so sorry I gave you this," he says, placing his head over your forehead.

"Apologise one more time and I'll cough in your face and give it back to you," you grumble sarcastically.

He laughs, "there's my girl."

You spent all last week caring for him through a terrible flu, which has now kindly made it's way to you. But it had somehow knocked you out more than it had for him. You were in a bad mood, Andrew had let you sleep in and contacted your work for you to tell them that you wouldn't be able to work for the rest of the week, despite the fact you had insisted that you were fine.

"Please just try and relax a little," he says, combing his hands through your sweaty hair.

"I can't relax," you croak out, "how can I relax when I'm letting everyone down and, and-" you cut yourself with another coughing fit. So intense that you have to sit up and you can feel your chest aching. The world is spinning, your hand grips his arm.

"You really think you could have worked today?" He rubs his hand down your back slowly, gently, so caring and loving.

"You know what it's like. Look at those shows you had to cancel. How bad you felt," you struggle out, your breathing ragged.

He nods, "I know, I get it. Just breathe baby. Everything will be okay, I promise no one is mad at you."

"What if they are?" You struggle out, trying not to cough again and he gets you to lay down, head resting in his lap.

"I promise they aren't. You're only meant to be helping with stuff here and there and working a few hours every now and then. And if they are mad at you, I'll deal with them."

"Cause you're so scary," you say quietly as your arm slinks around his leg, holding onto him tightly.

"Are you saying I'm not scary?"

"Shh," you manage, closing your eyes, "I'm resting. Like you wanted."

He shakes his head.

You are the most stubborn person he's ever met, on par only with himself, which he personally thinks makes you his perfect match. You were the only person last week that could convince him to make the call to cancel the shows, the only person that knows how to challenge all those thoughts, because you know what it's like to live with them too. All that pressure all the time, all that expectation that only is ever really coming from inside you, all that bubbling away beneath the surface for no one to notice until the heat is too much and it spills out. Neither of you can seem to calm it down for yourselves, only for each other.

You two couldn't be more different, but you also couldn't be more similar. It's oddly perfect he thinks, as he runs his hands through your hair as you drift into sleep on his lap. You are his antithesis and his mirror all at once.

Before he knows it in his changing room, that is missing your warm calming presence he's grown so used to before shows. You should be sprawled out on this couch, fixing his hair and adding unnecessary comments just to see how much you can turn him on.

He's prepping to go on stage but all he can think about is the feeling of your warm fevered body. All he wanted was to turn and run back to the bus where he knew you were waiting for him. He hated leaving you sick, he always hates leaving you when you're not well. Which happens more times than he likes -- every few weeks.

"It's just the way it is", you told him when you first met him. And now he's started saying it too to people who ask, because it's just too hard to explain.

Last time he had to leave you in a hotel room, at least the bus is always closer to where he is. It was so bad, so bad, last time. He came back to find you lying on the bathroom floor, tear streaked and in agony. He thinks about that night a lot. About how he sped to the hotel to check on you as soon as the show ended, how he scooped you up and how he had held you in his arms on the cold tiled floor till the sunlight crept through the windows. You barely remember that night, but he remembers it so well. That and so many other nights like it.

He knows you're not weak, you couldn't be further from it. You're the strongest person he's ever met. But he worries. And just because he knows you'll be okay doesn't make the tightness in his chest any better.

But he has to push it down, get on stage and put on a good show.

His voice is still coming back to him, it breaks on a couple notes, he curses himself. Not good enough Andrew.

He walks off the stage frustrated at himself, embarrassed and overstimulated; wanting nothing more but to feel your body weight resting on his.

He makes his way back to the bus as soon as he can, and crawls onto the bed where you lay propped against pillows, book in hand.

"Hey my rock star," your voice nearly completely gone now, and your hand runs through his messy post-show curls.

"How are you feeling," he says, sitting up and pressing a hand to your forehead.

You shrug, "the same. Tired."

He nods, "can I get you anything? Tea? Are you hungry? Water? I'll get you some more water."

He moves to get off the bed but you grab his arm.

"Andrew, I don't need anything. Just stay here with me."

He takes a quick shower, changes into tracksuit pants and a t-shirt and now you're laying in his arms, playing with his hands mindlessly.

"Hurts to talk," you say when he asks you a question about the book you've started reading.

"Yeah, I think I'm meant to be on vocal rest too. I thought it was better. But I fucked it tonight…"

He trails off, you turn to face him and see his eyes staring off into the distance. He's so hard on himself, and it breaks your heart every time.

"I'm sure you were great. You always are," you offer with a squeeze of his hand.

He doesn't say anything and continues to stare at the blank wall. You sit up and reach for your open notebook sprawled on the bed and scribble onto the page, handing it over to him.

We can vocal rest together if you want?

He smiles when he reads it. "Really? You want to vocal rest? It's not fun."

You dramatically motion at your aching throat, before taking the book back from him.

Please, did you not hear me before? I'm a sentence away from losing my voice for the next week. You scribble before passing it back to him.

"Okay," he smiles and nods, "you're going to get so sick of this so quickly. I always do."

You shush him, and he just shakes his head, standing up and digging through his draw for his notebook and pen. He sits across from you, legs crossed and starts to write.

You even look beautiful when you're coughing and sniffling all of over me. He holds it up, his big brown eyes staring right into you and you just shake your head, but your heart flutters a little. It's nice to have the reassurance that he's not completely turned off by you're disgusting state.

You're cute. How was your show? :) You hold up your page to him.

Aside from my mediocre vocals? Amazing crowd. SO LOUD!!!!

I heard them from here! Wish I could have been there. And from what I heard I thought you sounded beautiful as always. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're still getting better.

I love you. He writes back. Complete with a slightly lopsided love heart. He reaches for your hand and presses a kiss to your palm.

You talk in notes all night. You play card games on the floor, and you continue to beat him every time despite your illness. He wraps you in blankets and holds your water for you while you drink.

Goodnight Andy. You quickly write and hold up to him before he flicks the lights off, and you wrap yourself into his arms. His fingers brush over your back and twirl the ends of your hair, he presses a kiss onto your forehead.

As you fall asleep, he decides this is where he would like to spend all of his days, with you in his arms. In silence and laughter. In sickness and in health. In a tour bus and at home. As long as every night ends with you pressed against him. As long as you're by his side.

Even if your currently coughing into his chest (completely unbeknownst to you in your state of half consciousness). He wants it. The countless nights he has spent, and will spend, holding you on the bathroom floor. Your sometimes painfully infuriating stubbornness. He wants everything; everything you spent years thinking no one would ever want.

[everythingmp3]

wilder than she seems

adult!Van x fem!reader

plot: when you come back to your hometown for the summer, finding love - or even just lust - is the last thing you expect. but, while you were gone, someone new moved to town and the moment you first catch a glimpse of her, you know: she´s gonna be mine. I´ll make sure of it.

authors note: hi! I liked the idea of Van starting over fresh in a small town and dating again after a long time of being alone, so this came of that <3 hope you enjoy it! (ca. 9k words)

warnings: smut (both receiving but more focused on reader), outdoor sex

you and Van were similar in many ways, including your shared skepticism of dating apps, so you would both come to look back and thank your lucky statrs that you both decided to give them another shot that summer.

during your first week back home from college, your town was hit by a brutal heatwave, the nights so hot that sleeping in the nude without a blanket didn’t help at all, days spent in your room with the blinds shut, watching films to distract yourself, somehow, drinking glass after glass of iced tea while praying that it would pass.

eventually, the clouds broke and a heavy rainstorm brought everyone relief, the day after so much more bearable than the ones before that it made you feel reborn; it gave you a desperate need for adventure after laying around feeling half-dead for one too many hours, so, that day, while amild breeze caressed your tired body, you sat out on the porch and set up your dating app profile.

you told yourself that you´d just see who was on there, even though you were already bracing yourself to see way too many familiar faces from high school or, considering your high age range, “straight”married women.

to your shock, it took you less than a minute of swiping to come across photos of a pretty stranger, someone you´d never seen around town, so you said fuck it and jumped right into a conversation to ask her if she´d just moved, an easy way in - it took her only about ten minutes to answer that yes she had, in the spring, a semi-new addition to the area. 

you in turn told her that you were a local but that you went to college out of state, that you were back for two months, and from there on you just kept texting all afternoon, figuring out how close by she lived (about a five minute drive), realizing very quickly that you shared a sense of humor, that you spoke the same language, despite being about two generations apart.

it was exceedingly easy to flirt with Van by offering to be her guide, to give her all the inside scoop and lore about the town that she´d never be able to figure out on her own, so you both agreed to go to dinner the next night at a place that you had suggested, or rather, insisted upon, promising her that they had the very best fries in town, which was exactly what Van wanted: for a girl to tell her what to do, even just in little ways, like deciding what she´d have for dinner.

the first thing you noticed when you saw her walking toward you from the other end of the parking lot the coming night, was the she was even hotter in person than in pictures, her voice only adding to it when she said “hey” and failed to be subtle about the appreciative look up and down your physique. when you held the door open for her she said “beat me to it” with a faint grin and was a little turned on by the feeling of being treated with chivalry by a girl about half her age.

as you sat there waiting for your drinks it was a thrill for you in a way, to sit right across from a woman who usually kept to herself, to a fault, since you loved the idea of discovering her first, being an exception, perhaps a bit possessive right from the start. 

you wanted her to yourself. it was clear from the way you spoke to her, as if you were conspiring, and Van was immediately charmed by it, won over, after weeks and weeks of always being by herself except when she was with colleagues - it made her light up which made her look even prettier, the way her nose scrunched up when she really laughed at something you said, her relaxed body language, the softness in her eyes when she stared at you while you told her an anecdote, happily sipping on her second glass of Coke. 

when it was her turn to tell you about her life in Ohio, the video store that she´d sold, the path that had lead her to your part of the country, you tried not to look too smitten with her but she clocked it, the way you leaned your head on your hand, the way you batted your eyelashes, the smile that was frozen on your face, the playful act of stealing some fries from her plate, it was textbook first date behavior if someone is really into you, she knew it, and it confused her for a second, as someone who didn´t consider herself to be much more than a grumpy, burnt-out, recluse. 

it was exciting for Van, to realize that she could still make other women blush or twirl their hair if she held their gaze for a moment too long, touched their hand while making a point, nudged their leg under the table, “accidentally”. 

you were both so clearly delighted by each other´s vibe that the hours passed in the blink of an eye, so around 10:30pm you told her that you were going to the restroom to freshen up and used the chance to pay for the meal, which made her shake her head and say “I have to be careful around you, huh? you´re too quick for me. but thank you, for this, next time is on me”, the “next time” slipped out because you both knew without saying it, that you´d see a lot more of each other the coming weeks.

since you´d also driven to the restaurant, Van couldn´t offer to drive you home, to her dismay, and once you stood across from each other, ready to say good night, you realized that she seemed a bit shy all of a sudden, her demeanor closer to that of a nervous teenager than that a middle aged woman as she fumbled with her car keys and waited for you to make a move.

against your initial instinct, you saved the first kiss for the next date, since you loved the idea of leaving her wanting, making her yearn for it, dream of it, the same way you would, so instead of doing the expected, you went in for a hug, not the kind of hug you´d give a friend, but a tighter one, your hands firmer, the embrace tighter, lingering a beat too long to be innocent, you breath tingling on her neck for a second before you pulled away and got into your car, smiling to yourself when you realized that she was just sitting there in the dark, too affected by your touch to turn the engine on until you were already pulling out onto the road. 

later that night, right before you went to bed you texted her “I had fun tonight, I´ll make plans for when we see each other again, I already have something in mind, gonna text you the details tomorrow :) sleep well” which nearly made her forget the toothbrush in her mouth as she stood by the sink and read it over and over to make sure she was seeing it right, after having convinced herself that she´d probably already fumbled you somehow, either by being too awkward or too defensive when it came to making the first move, completely unaware that you were falling asleep fantasizing about her in ways that would´ve killed any doubt about much you wanted her, if she´d been aware. 

three days after your first date, you were getting ready for your second one. you´d told her to pick you up that afternoon so you could drive out to a secret spot of yours by a creek in the woods, the perfect place to cool off and be undisturbed, which she´d gladly agreed to as someone who loved few things more than driving her lover around in her truck on a beautiful day. soon-to-be lover, in your case.

when you put on your sunglasses and grabbed your things while calling out “bye, see you later” to your family, who were obvious about your plans, you felt a little smug about it, not necessarily because they´d judge you for it, but more so because you liked having a secret, it was thrilling to you, the feeling of sneaking off to meet the brooding woman who nobody in town had a good read on. except for you.

the mid-day heat made you hurry as you walked down the street and spotted her truck, the passenger door already wide open for you when you approached.

unsurprisingly, Van looked even hotter that day than when you´d first seen her: not dressed in a t-shirt but a white tank top, which made her arms look even more tanned than you remembered, her shoulders visible to you for the first time, her hair wavy from a braid she´d kept it in during the night, her pale thighs pressed against the black leather seat.

you immediately had the urge to reach out and touch her, so you found a polite way to do it and leaned in for a loose half-hug, but even just the brush of her arm against yours was enough to make the air feel a few degrees warmer, which was a feeling she shared, her hand reaching out to pull the window all the way down, her body buzzing not just from the multiple cups of iced coffee she´d had that day. 

“this is a pretty nice car, way better than mine” you mused as you glanced around and put your bag into the backseat as she pulled back onto the road and smiled “oh, this old thing?” clearly joking, well-aware how expensive her ride was, so you teased her a bit and said “you talking about the car or yourself?”, getting comfortable in your seat and grinning when she whipped her head around to look at you, your little smug expression.

“careful, you´re putting your life in my hands here, miss” she warned, her tone lower on purpose, pretending to be more offended than endeared by your attitude.

“yeah, driving to the woods with someone I barely know, clearly no sense of self-perservation” you mused, which made her grin at the implication, that you were being reckless by trusting her, something undeniably erotic to it, even though she preferred fantasies that were about a reversed power-struggle, so she steered the joke that way.

“well, you´re the one who knows her way around out there, so.. if anything I´m the one who should be scared” she said as she took a left and drove onto the long, winding road that she´d have to follow for a few miles to get you to your destination, her fingers absentmindedly drumming on the steering wheel, perhaps to draw your attention to them.

“oh sure, yeah, you should be terrified” you grinned and stuck your hand out of the window to feel the air, listened to the faint hum of the radio, smelled the freshly cut grass from the field you were passing by, all while Van tried her best to keep her eyes on the road instead of you.

“seatbelt” she told you out of nowhere and tapped your leg to get your attention, a stern tone that made you laugh as you obeyed and realized you hadn´t bothered to buckle yourself in, whispering “yes ma´am” as you got to it, which made her laugh and shake her head while muttering “save the girl-next-door thing for someone who buys it”, trying to mask how much she liked the sound of your pretend-subservience, the way you already messed with her like she was your girlfriend and not just a random woman you were testing the waters with. 

something told her that you weren´t just playing around, that you were serious about her, not just looking for a distraction or a funny story to tell down the line. it made her heart beat faster, so she sighed said “god I really wasn´t made for this kind of heat, I don´t regret moving here at all but damn. is this normal for you? like are you chilling over there?”, which made you laugh, “oh no, I´m just numb to it by now I guess, but don´t worry, it usually doesn´t get much hotter than last week. oh actually, I almost forgot-”.

you interrupted yourself and reached into the back to retrieve something from your bag, twisting your body in a way that amused her, gave her a glimpse of your midriff as your shirt rode up, which nearly made her swerve before you slumped back into your seat and held out a glass bottle to her.

“here, try this, I made it for us last night, it´s peach iced tea with mint and lemon juice and some honey” she felt her heart flutter at the sound of you casually saying “for us”, as if you were already a unit. 

“wow, that sounds great...” she marveled and took a sip, nodding in approval and licking her lips before going in for more gulping down nearly all of it, a sigh of relief afterwards. “damn. thank you, this qualifies as medicine in this heat I think” her earnest gratitude hinting at how just how long it had been since anyone had gifted her something homemade, you could tell she was touched, so you kept the generosity going.

“that was just a refreshment, but I do have an actual a gift for you as well”. 

“a gift?” she asked, wondering if she´d heard you right. you nodded and pulled something out of the back pocket of your shorts. “don´t get your hopes up, it´s just a silly little thing, but I did custom make it for you”. it was a lighter that you´d bedazzled, the whole thing covered in silver, glittery stones, except for the middle where you´d put a pink “V” shape for her initial. 

“here, my friend and I were so bored yesterday that we stole her little sister's crafting stuff and this is what I spent most of my time on. thought I smelled a bit of tobacco when we hugged last time, so I thought you could use another one of these”. you said it nonchalantly, but Van´s mind was spinning with the implications: you must have told your friend about her if you´d put her initial on it, nobody would´ve just let you do that in front of them without asking who it was for, so she immediately wondered what you´d told her, if you´d gushed about her, if your friend had teased you about being into someone that much older or if she envied you, in case she wasn´t straight either. 

you could tell you were getting to her as she took the lighter from your hands and slowed down a bit, so she could drive while allowing herself a proper look, smiling to herself. 

“you´re attentive, huh? this is cute. your way of making sure I think about you when I´m smoking, huh?” she grinned and gave you a playful nudge but you weren´t bothered at all by that way of looking at it “yeah, you got me, that was the plan”. 

for a moment after you shared a peaceful but charged silence, you turned your head and watched her, how the wind blew in her hair as she tried her very best not to fold under the weight of your appreciative glances over her features, and it was a struggle, she had no idea how to handle being lusted after, not anymore, not after that many months of celibacy, so before she could embarrass herself with a nervous tick, she turned the attention back onto you and cleared her throat before asking “you smell really good by the way, what is that?”. 

she meant it. for the past few minutes she´d gotten a few whiffs of a delicious scent whenever the wind blew through your window and against face, it was getting under her skin, making her hungry for an up-close impression, you could tell, so you sounded a bit flustered at first when you responded “uh, it´s my signature scent mixed with this tropical sun screen I got, vanilla, coconut, a bit of mango I think”. that description didn´t help at all, it only made her wanna eat you up even more, but she tried her best to sound normal and composed as she made a “hmm” sound of approval and said “yeah, yeah that´s a good mix. suits you”. 

“let me guess” you said and turned a bit more towards her, which made her raise her eyebrows at you, “you go through like twenty bottles of sun screen every summer, right?”. 

the second the words left you mouth she groaned as if the memories of lathering herself head to toe in sticky lotion just to feel safe out during the warmer months were hitting her all at once. “oh god, don´t even get me started... twenty is honestly not even far off I think, I bathe in that shit, once got sunburn on my ears… never again.” 

you let out a quiet laugh and said “well, for what it´s worth I think your freckles are very pretty”. you emphasized the last two words in a way that made them sound too suggestive for her not to briefly go quiet and feel a blush creep up her cheeks, a success on your part. 

“if you say so” she sighed, her gaze not on you but on the road ahead, so you pushed it a bit further and told her “I do say so, yes.” a pause before you added “I like that they´re not just on your face”, a gentle shove against your arm from her then as she let out a laugh of disbelief, “okay enough of that, gotta concentrate here”, a command that held no actual heat, one that somehow only added to the sizzling feeling between your bodies, both of you smiling to yourselves and thinking “I could probably spend hours in the car with her and not get sick of it” until you finally reached the spot you´d already sent her the location of a few days before. 

the walk to the creek only took about ten minutes, but still, when Van saw that you were straining under the weight your bag, she wordlessly tugged at it and made you hand it over, shushing you when you insisted that you could handle it, which gave you a little pep in your step, not just from the relief of having your shoulder free of that weight.

once the water came into view Van let out a whistle of approval while taking in the scenery, the idyllic view of the stream of water, the trees that offered shade, the various rocks you could climb on top of and rest on for a while if you wanted, feet dangling in the water, dozing in the sun. 

you opted for a spot right by the shore and spread a large beach towel out but before you settled down you both took off your shoes and stepped into the shallow part of the creek for a moment, to feel the water, to rub your arms and legs down to cool off, running your hands over the surface until you felt the need to sit and relax. 

as Van tried to find a good position while joking about having to be careful not to fuck up her back even more than it already was, you pulled off your shirt, without making it a big deal, wich left you in your bikini top and shorts, her eyes immediately glued to your upper body, a smile from you in her direction when you noticed, as if to say “go on, I want you to look”, so she did, until you laid back next to her and sighed, pleased, happy to be there with someone else, your thigh almost touching hers as you both remarked upon how much better the air felt out there, a shared breath of relief, or perhaps of anticipation, or both, the tension between you on a low but noticeable simmer.

after a few minutes of soaking up the birdsong and sound of rushing water together, you grabbed your bag and pulled out the snacks and drinks you´d brought, sitting cross-legged as she watched you spread out some cherries, raspberries, strawberries, some spicy chips, a few cookies you´d made the day before, which made her grab something from her bag as well. 

Van brushed it off and said something along the lines of “I don´t know if this is your thing, but I made way too much of this last night, so, yeah if you want, it´s yours” she held out a plastic container with something that looked beyond delicious, a mix of pasta and roasted veggies, fresh pesto and parmesan, some chili flakes, chopped up cucumbers and tomatoes, and a few other ingredients you couldn´t immediately identify. she gave you a fork and watched you eat, relieved and overjoyed when you seemed stunned by how good it tasted, so much so that she almost forgot to eat something herself because she loved watching you enjoy her recipe, after years of never having anyone to cook it for. 

she ate a handful of cherries which left her lips a shade darker and made you wonder if that was the moment to kiss her, but you were lost in an actually compelling conversation about films and shows you´d been watching the weeks before, so you let the heat between you rise a little more, sensing that it wouldn´t last much longer, your restraint, not with her sitting there looking all radiant and sun-kissed and soft to the touch, your mouth watering at the sheer thought of feeling your tongue against hers when there was still a trace of fruit on there, the heavenly swirl of your taste and hers together with juicy sweetness. 

Van felt the same when she watched you put a few raspberries on your fingertips, desperate to close her lips around the flesh that was left stained pink by them. she felt smug as she sat there watching your skin glow in the afternoon light, thinking of all the people who might love to be in her spot right then. she felt a sense of pride bubbling up when she realized just how much you invited her attention, how far from uncomfortable you seemed by having her so close, her heart nearly giving out when you swatted a bug away from her leg and briefly caressed the spot afterwards, no words, just a silent gesture, a subtle breaking down of boundaries. 

even though she hadn´t explicitly told you, you could tell that she hadn´t been touched, really properly touched, in a long time. this inspired two desires in you, the desire to tend to her and the desire to unravel her, both at the same time, you wanted to warm her with your affection and watch her bloom under it, but you also wanted to ruin her with a kind of pleasure she´d only been able to feel in her dreams for a long time. 

it was thrilling, to be younger than her, and yet to feel like she was the one who felt more nervous about how she´d behave once you gave into each other. there was a contrast to that power-dynamic that made you lose your patience. you wanted to see her reaction to so many more of your touches. her whole body suddenly a map with invisible outlines of where your hands were dying to find their new home. 

for a good while, you kept talking, gossiping, lazily sipping on the sodas you´d brought, Van convincing you to show her a few pictures from college, your room, your campus, the places you frequented in your town, a genuine interest radiating from her that made you indulge her in a little tour of your camera roll, more or less accidentally swiping past pictures you´d taken of yourself in the mirror while wearing nothing but skimpy pajama shorts and a bra. 

she showed you some older pictures of her life back up north before she´d made her way down to her new life, including a few pictures of her elderly cat, who was dozing in the shade of her apartment at that time, so you made her promise to introduce you, already imagining yourself fighting for the spot on Van´s lap at night. 

“so” you said eventually, watching her lay there with her arms crossed above her chest and her eyes closed, which made her turn her face and look at you. “I´m just gonna assume you won´t ghost me after this, but next time we see each other, I could take you to my favorite thrift store, it´s about a forty minute drive but very worth it, they have a ton of physical media, books, cds, dvds, trinkets, keychains, I kinda collect those. your keys were looking a bit naked there earlier, I could pick a few for you. you´d find a decent amount of stuff in your style I think”. 

Van perked up and said “oh okayyy, now we´re talking. I´ll hold you to that, like actually, now you´re stuck with me, shoulnd´t have told me that” her expression changing to mild confusion and amusement when she asked “also why on earth would I ghost you? I think lightning would strike me down if I had the audacity to be that ungrateful.”

you smiled and said “you´re gassing me up” while playing with a few pieces of grass you´d ripped out, dragging them over her forearm for a second, no reaction from her, no flinch, clearly unbothered by it, or rather, happy about your little ways of breaching the distance, before actually taking a leap and doing what it was that you were both silently aching for.

“no just being honest” she insisted “I´m clearly very happy to be here but I have no idea you´re giving me the time of day” she meant it, it wasn´t just her fishing for compliments, it was clear that she genuinely wondered why you were spending time with her, trying to date her, when you could´ve gone for someone like the friend you´d mentioned earlier, someone younger, someone less loser-ish, if she was being fully truthful about how she saw herself.

“no?” you cocked your head, eyeing her, a bit amused by her blindness to her own appeal “well, I don´t know if you remember but I pretty much smiled through the entire dinner last time we saw each other, so, that might have something to do with it”.

Van couldn´t argue with that, it wasn´t an exaggeration and her eyes lit up a little from the memory “I do recall yes, you have a sweet smile”. she said it casually, without thinking twice, so it hit you harder than if she´d clearly been trying to get a reaction out of you by being smooth. she noticed and blushed a little. 

“I mean, you´re very easy on the eyes as well, not that you think this is just about me enjoying your company or liking you for who you are” you teased, dry, dead-pan, which got a genuine, unexpected laugh out of her. “phew okay, thanks for clarifying, thank god” she joked, fidgeting with the hem of her top a bit, a give-away: she was dying for you to take what you wanted from her. 

so, you took the cue and found a way to enter a new phase of your hangout, something more carnal: you clapped your hands and stood up while saying “okay, time for a dip, come on”, your shorts hitting the forest floor before she could even process what was going on, her mind going blank when she saw your body in full, barely covered anymore, a deliberate move from you to show off your backside as you stepped closer to the water and dipped your toes in.

“huh??” she exclaimed, unsure if you were actually being serious about swimming with her. 

“yeah you heard me, didn´t just take you here to look at all this. you can just stay in your top and underwear, it´ll dry in no time afterwards in this heat”. you had a point but she was still hesitant, so you turned back to look at her and teased “or are you too scared of stepping on a little critter in there or something?”. 

that did the trick. she scoffed and said “scared? alright, fuck it, I´ll show you”. within a few seconds she pulled down her shorts as well, which revealed something you weren´t prepared for, that made you the flustered one then: she wasn´t wearing boxers, as you´d assumed, but just a pair of thin, black cotton panties. you could see her entire leg and hip area. your face burned up from the sight of it and her smile widened by the second as she stepped closer and saw the effect she had on you. 

after your shared moment of thinking “jesus, is she trying to kill me?” you took her hand and made her wade into the creek with you until you were both standing knee-deep in the cool water, splashing yourselves and each other until you felt some of the built-up heat dissolve into something less punishing, another heat coming to the forefront then, one that had little to do with the sun.

you both stood there, barely a few feet apart, enjoying the sensation of having the waves softly crash around your bodies, trying to look anywhere but each other and failing over and over again, neither of you strong enough to be subtle about it any longer, your breath suddenly shallow as you saw how she pulled up her white tank top until it functioned more like a bikini than a top, her chest almost fully visible by then from how drenched the fabric had gotten, her stomach paler than her arms and legs, a creamy quality to her skin that looked delicious in the golden light that was reflecting from the surface of the water, an angelic quality to her, everything about her, her hair like fire as it blew in the wind. 

Van was incapable of tearing her eyes away from your neck, the spot where a few droplets were slowly sliding down, like little pearls of glass, she was close to begging then, saying something like “please.” just to finally feel you.

so, you stepped closer and closer to her until you paused and submerged your hands fully in the water. Van watched. bating her breath. eyes wide as you brought your dripping palms up to her flushed face and pressed them against her cheeks. cradling her. Van´s eyes immediately shut in surrender. a full body shiver. the softest sigh. the cool liquid on your skin standing no chance against the way your touch made her burn up. 

it would´ve been cruel to make her wait even a second longer, so before she could look at you again, you pulled her in for a passionate, lingering kiss, pressing your lips against hers with a tender force that made her melt on the spot. 

you pulled away and then kissed her again. and again. tilting your head to deepen it, to feel her tongue against your own, Van suddenly so bold and eager that you wanted her even more, nothing about her shy or hesitant anymore, all of the muscle memory still there after being without a lover for too long, her kisses so heartfelt and in sync with yours that you nearly folded and dropped down into the waves. 

it was pure bliss. the dreams of each other not even come close to how it felt then. and you could tell, both of you whimpering in pleasure whenever you separated and went in for more, dying to kiss each other breathless, senseless, until you couldn´t take anymore. you held onto each other for dear life but it was hard, your skin too slippery, grabbing wherever you could reach, hard, your hands in her hair first, then on her neck, clinging to her, hers on your sides, pulling you in until you were flush against her chest, your tits pressing up against hers through the thin fabric, a moan as she she felt it, the water splashing between your hips from the impact, neither of you realizing that you were stumbling into the deeper parts of the water, that it reached up to your waists then. 

Van kissed in a way that left you wet in two ways. her lips achingly soft and plump against your own and her movements so far from rushed, so skilled but so  desperate as well, an intoxicating mix of confidence and fragility, her own arousal doubling and tripping from how you tugged at the strands of her hair while you refused to stop and come up for air, sucking on her bottom lip and licking over it, slowly, so slowly, a throbbing sensation hitting her so hard that she whined, before another deep kiss, her sounds turning more pathetic by the second, her hands underwater, on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh, the nervous demeanor from before nowhere to be found. it was maddening.

she was completely changed. so openly greedy for you. the best kind of shock she could´ve given you. that contrast. her blushing at your compliments and then nearly making you come just from how she liked to make out.

eventually, you couldn´t brace yourselves anymore, but you didn´t want to stop, so you wrapped your legs around her waist under water and held onto her that way. you both laughed quietly as you made her stumble in a way that left you almost fully covered in water, her arms around your back to hold you above the surface, another kiss, tasting the wet earthy aroma on each other´s lips, smiling, the creek rushing over your tangled up bodies, peacefully, soothing your flushed skin, a thrilling wildness to it all.

without warning, Van took a hold of you and pushed you through the water until you reached a flat rock in the middle of the stream, big enough to fit at least two people. 

she grinned and tapped it saying “get up there” while lifting you, so you did what you were told and hoisted yourself up onto the warm stoney furface until your legs were dangling in the water, your upper body glistened in the sun, your face giving away just how turned on you were, your mouth open from your shallow breaths, eyes wide as you stared at her, bracing yourself as best as you could. 

Van didn´t say a thing. she moved between your legs and leaned in to kiss your thighs. to lick up all the water that was running down your skin. a gasp as you watched her and instinctively parted your legs even wider for her to have better access, shocked by her sudden boldness, deeply aroused, shivering from it, the look of her drenched top clinging to her skin, her hair half submerged, her skin shades of pink all over, not a care in the world as she kissed and licked your legs all over, bit down on the softest parts, as you tried your best to stay up on the rock and let her have her way. 

it was beyond any fantasy. a pretty woman devouring your skin in the middle of the forest like she was a creature who´d been waiting there for you, lurking, hungry. ready, denying herself any and all pleasures of the flesh until you came along. she kept caressing your thighs and smiled up at you, lips swollen, face glistening, smug when she saw your expression of utter disbelief and desire, whispering to you “you know.. I have a thing for a fucking outside.”

it hit you like a ton of bricks. her voice. those plain, vulgar words. it took you a second to process it. she was suggesting that you fuck out there. as if it was nothing. you reached down to caress her hair and couldn´t even laugh because you were too turned on, too needy, too willing to be reckless, not turned off at all by the idea of someone possibly walking by, so you just nodded and asked “oh.. you do?”, your voice wavering.

Van grinned and nodded, her eyes were clouded over with lust, she gave your knee a kiss. “hmm, yeah. want me to show you why?”. the switch-up of her demeanor was killing you. hitting you right in your weakest spot over and over. you were aching for her so bad by then that you were scared you´d finish ten seconds in. you trembled as she nudged you into the position she needed and you in and surrendered so beautifully to it that she also felt a tight tension at her core.

the sight of you up there, all spread out and pliant for her, illuminated under the bright open sky, letting her have you out where someone might stumble upon the scene. the way you yielded to it without protest, it drove her insane. the animalistic side of her came out again then, the one she´d kept sealed up in the deepest parts of her soul for too long, you brought it out, violently so, leaving her ecstatic and untamed in her rediscovered erotic power.

Van reached up to untie one side of your bikini bottoms to peel off the fabric, leaving it hanging loosely of your other hip while she had you open, exposed to her need. your breath hitched as Van´s eyes traveled down your stomach to your abdomen to where she was dying to put her mouth, her palm on your stomach then, her thumb brushing over you, parting you lightly in a way that made you lean back and moan, your eyes shut as she drew a few teasing circles over your clit, heard you curse under your breath, the scent of the forest mixing with yours so deliciously that she groaned “god look at you… you´re fucking perfect…”. 

with one determined motion she lifted your legs over her shoulders, held onto your thighs with a grip that might leave bruises - you were praying it would - and leaned in to kiss your inner thigh, erratic with desire when the dampness of your skin made it hard to properly latch onto you, the saltiness of your skin and sweetness of your sun screen hitting her so hard that she couldn´t help but suck your flesh into her mouth, her teeth grazing over you, a suckling sensation all over your inner thighs then, wherever she could reach, feverishly leaving you raw and worked up as she forgot herself and savored the feeling of having a pretty girls thighs next to her face while hearing her whine for more. 

she was back in her body. fully. present in a way she hadn´t been in years. throbbing from it the same way your were as she finally leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cunt, just on the lips at first, a few gentle kisses to work you up even more, before you begged “please..” and looked down at her, you hand on the back of her head, pressing her against yourself as if she wasn´t about to bury herself in you on her own account, a trace of a smile before she pulled you down a few inches and had you right where she needed you. her nose brushing up against your clit. a shared moan as she pressed her whole face against you. your fingers tight in her hair then. the sound of the rushing water intensifying your own awareness of how soaked you were, right from the start. 

the first, slow, languid swipe of her tongue from the bottom to the top of your folds was enough to make you see stars. you whole lower body tightened in response. it was perfect, that intense ache she both caused and soothed at the same time. she knew how to eat pussy, how to do it just right, her years of experience glaringly obvious then, you could feel it, her tongue moving over your cunt in big circling motions at first, working you up, getting the blood in your aroused lips to swell even more, slicking the whole area up, nice and slow, before she put more intense pressure on it, the tip of her tongue harder and more relentless with it, flicking over your clit, swirling around it, making out with you down there, doing eveything in her power to hear more and more of your moans and whimpers as you submitted to it and opened up for good, leaking all over her mouth then, pulsating, arching up and rolling your hips to meet her mouth which she fucking adored, a “hmm” sound of praise as she stilled her tongue for a moment to encourage you, so you rocked yourself against her and got lost in it, eyes shut, her hands never leaving your sides, her hunger only growing with each taste of you, each lick, each drop of your juices in her mouth.

she´d missed it terribly, having someone´s pussy all over her face, she ´d always been a pleaser, desperate to see her lover satisfied and it was clear from how she groaned against your cunt and went in for more and more, regardless of how much you squirmed or sighed “fuck” as your legs started shaking, she wasn´t done with you, not until you were crying out for her. 

as you leaned back then, palms flat on the rock, hips angled up to her mouth, the trees rustling and waves crashing around you, it struck you how deeply freeing it felt to be nude out there, one with the elements while being taken and pleased, at your barest, most vulnerable, right the middle of the woods, the same woods you´d run around in as a girl, a hit to your core, the idea of being turned into an adult by being fucked right where you´d come of age, by someone from far away, as if she was corrupting you, as if she´d come there specifically to help you grow into your desires, far away from prying eyes.

it was dramatic but it turned you on to think of it that way as you felt yourself close to orgasm, your tits spilling out of your bikini top by then, which made Van reach up with one hand to squeeze you, to tease your nipple while doing the same to your clit, the sensations together wrecking you for good, so you moaned “fuck don´t stop, I´m so close, don´t stop”. 

Van knew how to take orders, so she kept dragging her wet thumb over the hardened, sensitive area on your chest while her lips closed around the one between your legs, sucking on your clit, switching between that intense sucking and licking motions over and over until you tensed up and pressed your legs together around her head, an instant move of her hands to your thighs to keep you wide open, even while you whined and thought you might pass out from it, Van not letting up until she had you shaking and bending your limbs as the climax hit you, your arm pressed against the rock, your body twisted to the side, ruined by the sudden release.

she stayed right where she was and let you come all over her mouth, her own cunt twitching from the sound and look and feel of your high, her hold on you softening then, turning into caresses, soothing touches as you laid there like a mermaid washed ashore, eyes fluttered shut, mouth open, chest rapidly rising and falling, undone for her, by her, with her. 

the setting sun cast a golden hue over your exposed body and it took her breath away. the whole scene was so picture perfect, so soul-crushingly sexy that it felt like she´d dreamed it all up. the water cooled both of your riled up bodies so gently that it felt like mother nature was holding you, approving of it: your outburst of mutual affection and need, the willingness to be risky and audacious about it.

after a few moments of catching your breath and thinking “what the fuck just happened” you mustered up some strength and slipped down from the rock back into the water to stand next to her once more. Van made space for you as she wiped her mouth, not to clean herself but to remind you what she´d just done to you, licking her lips the same way she would after a good meal.

a moment later she closed the distance between you and rested her hands on your shoulders, massaging them lightly, grinning at your dazed expression, very pleased with herself when you shook your head and sighed “god…”, the aftershocks still tingling all over. 

“you know, if we weren´t out here I´d have kept going. but. didn´t want you to scrape up your pretty back” she said quietly, her voice low, a kiss to cheek, then your temple, then your forehead, caressing your back with one hand, up and down your spine, to emphasize the point.

“well, I wouldn´t have given a fuck about scratches or wounds” you sighed, laughing quietly as you finally came back to your senses and looked up at her while placing your hands on her lower back, teasing her a bit, your eyes briefly wandering down to where her tits were fully visible through the drenched white top. you caressed her in a way that made her shiver for a second as you whispered “you were hiding all of that, huh? putting on a coy act for me” jokingly shaking your head, as if you were chastising her.

Van laughed and nudged you lightly, her knee against your thigh underwater “oh, so you thought I didn´t have it in me, sweetheart? ouch”. you laughed too and wiped some water off her nose, tracing the bridge of it for a second. “no, not in that way”. 

“oh that was nothing” she scoffed, downplaying it, but also very clearly promising you more down the line, which made you step even closer and slip your hand down to where her panties were clinging to her ass, pushing your luck, Van only smiling in response, already addicted to the sensation of being felt up by you. 

“hm, what was that you said earlier? you´re stuck with me now? same here.” you told her and played with her hair, the parts of it that were stuck together, brushing through them with your fingers, gently. Van eyed you and grinned as she asked “a bit of head is all it takes, hm?”.

“yes, I´m easy” you joked and pulled her in until your lips were brushing over hers. she smiled and sighed “me too. perfect match, I´d say” before you started kissing again, more relaxed than before, slow and gentle kisses, your taste still on her lips. 

eventually, you made your way out of the water and went back to the shore. 

you tied your bikini bottoms back together while telling her “you should lay that out so it can dry off” while pointing at her tank top, your tone giving away that your comment had very little to do with helpful advice and everything with the need to see her fully exposed, so she caved and pulled it off, echoing what you’d said earlier “yes ma’am”.

the of her naked chest was so inviting that you practically lunged at at her then, pinning her to the beach towel in a way that made her squeal and licking over her freckled skin as if she’d spilled ice cream on it for you to clean up, kissing all the right spots, her nails digging into your back in response.

it was her turn to surrender then and Van did it gladly, feeling giddy as you trapped her and sucked on her tits, kissed her all over her upper body while dragging down her water-soaked panties to touch her where she´d gotten soaked from pleasing you, soft whimpers as she held onto you and grew weaker and weaker from how you kissed her neck while jerking her off, whispering to her how hot she was, how nobody had ever made you come like that, how badly you wanted her in your bed, a whole night with her.

one orgasm wasn´t enough for you, so you kept going, making out with her while you slowly pushed your fingers into her, teasing out another high soon after the first, obsessed with her sensitivity, her loud whining and pleading, the feel of her cum all over your hand as you palmed her and refused to stop until she was fully spent and sated, lazily touching her all over until you were both tired out and spent, still blissfully ignorant of any possible onlookers.

for about thirty minutes afterwards you just laid there together, your head resting on her lower stomach, her arms wrapped around your back, both of you breathing in unison as your bodies were drying in setting sun, the breeze still sweeping over you in a steady rhythm.

by the time the cicadas started chirping and a blue darkness started to eclipse the orange daylight, you agreed to pack up your things and make your way back to her car, both of you quiet and happy as you held hands during the walk, your bodies heavy and exhausted in the best possible way, a glow of both contentment and heat lighting up your faces in the shade of the trees. 

back in her car, you both decided to stop by a gas station before she´d drop you off, so you could get something nice and cold to drink, also to steal a bit more time together, dreading the goodbye already. you watched her drive in silence for a few minutes until you smiled and asked “do you ever use this car for hook-ups?”. 

Van shot you a look that said “really? come on.” and answered “uh, as I´m sure you can tell, I haven´t been hooking up with anyone, anywhere, so. no.” her tone made you laugh but you were glad, very glad, to have it confirmed: that you´d been the one to break her dry spell. 

“and… if I told you to pull over right now, would you?” you probed, playful, eyes glittering with mischief in the dark, too pleased by the sight of her arms flexing as she handled the steering wheel to deny yourself the chance for a bit more action before you´d part ways for the night.

“if you ask me very nicely” she teased and kept looking forward, waiting for you to give it your best shot, but instead of just begging her, you did something else. you shifted in your seat and faced her as you lifted your legs over the console, onto her lap, and pressed the heel of your left foot against her crotch. you heard an instant, undignified groan from her that pleased you to no end. Van gripped your ankle in response and held your foot in place, stopping you from moving or applying more pressure while uttering “oh we´re playing dirty now, I see..”.

within a minute, she found a spot by the road to pull over, no other cars in sight, just endless fields stretching out til the horizon, and before she even killed the engine you were already climbing over onto her lap, a fresh burst of desire rippling through you as you put your legs on either side of her thighs and pressed your weight onto her. 

you instinctively started grinding yourself down against her, the fabric of your shorts doing very little to keep her from sounding like you were actually fucking instead of just dry-humping. her arms were tight around your back as she buried her face in your neck and moaned “jesus christ..”. you braced yourself against the car window with one hand and used the other to caress her hair as you both grew needy again.

you ended up making out for a while, lazy and sloppy, needy with it, the way new lovers do it, until you looked at her from up close and whispered “you´re mine now. I´ve got eyes and ears everywhere in this town, so I better not hear anything about you being out with another girl”. you knew her well, already, it was clear that she loved the sound of being kept by you, being bossed around a little, so you exaggerated your possessive nature and watched her face light up.

“damn okay. I´ll try to fight off all the other hot girls that are throwing themselves at me” she joked and gave your thigh a light slap as you peeled yourself away from her again to let her finish the drive back into town.

the stop at the gas station ended with you two standing outside her car while downing your cans of iced tea within the blink of an eye while staring up at the night sky, marvelling at the stars, a view that made her very glad that she´d decided to leave her old life behind. you being included in that view, of course.

a few minutes later, Van parked at the intersection of your street, not right by your house, unwilling to have an awkward face-to-face momenr with your parents, in case they just so happened to be out on the porch at that hour. you stood outside her car and put your hands on the open window by the drivers side, she put her hand on top of yours and you asked “so. when can I come over tomorrow?”.

“whenever you´r ready, literally, I dont care if its 6am” she meant it, she´d have let you come before sunrise if that´s what you´d suggested.

“okay noted but I do like to sleep in and take my time getting ready, so.. I´ll be there around noon” you promised in return, following it up by suggesting “I mean.. I could tell them I´m staying at a friends place, so we have a full day and night together”.

“you sure? that´s a lot of time, wouldn't want you to get sick of me so soon” Van asked, not just making a self-deprecating joke but truthfully a little scared that you´d find her company taxing after one too many hours. 

you shook your head and smiled softly “I won´t, I swear. or are you saying that because you´re secretly the type to dread the idea of sharing your bed with a lover?”.

Van laughed and shook her head “baby. you could sleep right on top of me, hit me in your sleep, suffocate me, and I still wouldn´t complain, trust me.” she said, conviction in her tone, not exaggerating at all.

“I´m a peaceful sleeper, sorry to disappoint. but I can suffocate you in other ways..” you whispered, which made her nod in approval as she took out the lighter you´d gifted her, “oh, please do”. 

“here, break it in for me, will you?” she said and handed it to you, pulling out a cigarette and putting it between her lips before she leaned her head out of the car window and made you light it for her, your hands shielding the flame, a moment of intense eye-contact before the cig was lit and she took a drag, ever so lightly blowing the smoke in your direction, teasing, smiling when she saw you take a deep breath in. 

“alright, I´ll save the long version of this for another time but just know this was like. the best day I´ve had in years, easily” she said and reached out for your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles, your heart squeezing at the sight, the gesture so unexpected and sweet.

“same. for sure.” you said quietly and leaned in to kiss her one last time before you reluctantly tore yourself away and walked down the street, touched when you realized that she was waiting for you to be safe inside until she´d start her car back up again. 

after a long shower, most of which was spent staring at the wall zoned out thinking of her and probing at the little bite marks she’d left on your inner thighs, you got cozy in bed right as your phone lit up with a message. you rolled over and squinted your eyes as you read the words “I just realized I didn´t say this to you yet because it´s so insanely obvious to me but just so you know: you´re very pretty.”. 

you smiled and typed out your response “well, I did get the sense that you like my appearance, don´t know why.. just a feeling I guess? but thank you, so are you <3”.

you could almost hear her giggling to herself over your smart-ass response and already looked forward to hearing her laugh in person again the next day. you both told each other goodnight and to sleep well, since you wouldn’t get much sleep the next night.

falling asleep was easy that night, not just because you were worn out from the heat and passion but also because you wanted the next morning to come as soon as possible. Van felt the same, so she made herself a sleepy-time tea, ready to knock out and come back to life once it would only take a few more hours until you were on her door-step, the first of many times.

no heatwave could make you dread the coming weeks. no way. as long as you had each other, her truck and your knowledge of the area, you could spend your days out in nature, in the shade and in the water, fighting off the intensity of the sun while sinking into the heat of your new love.

[the-drift-journal]

Drown in you

Summary: JJ needs everything in his head to quiet down and drowning himself in you is the best way to do that

Warnings: Touching, kissing, grinding, JJ being a bit rough, crying, talks about using someone, swearing

The sky was dark and light rain pattered against the windows as another storm rolled in. You were in one of the extra rooms at the chateau, as per usual, curled up on your side as you flipped through the pages of a book. The room was dark since the power had gone out, but you had a flashlight propped up so you could see, highlighting something you had previously underlined from the first time you read this book.

JJ had just walked back into the chateau after being outside trying to fix the twinkie in the rain. Everyone wanted to go to the beach tomorrow, assuming the storms let up, but the alternator was being annoying.

That accounted for why he was soaking wet, but his tight jaw and red rimmed eyes couldn’t be explained by the rain. Those things were due to the absolute shit day he just had. He had gotten into it with his dad and then he came back and took his anger out on John B and Pope. He was just at his wits end with the world for the day.

You heard him come into the room, but didn’t take your eyes off of the book, to engaged with the words you were reading.

JJ pulled off his soaking wet T-shirt and shorts, tugging on some random pair of sweatpants before crawling in bed next to you, propping himself up on one elbow. He watched you tentatively for a moment, one of his hands coming to your waist to trace gentle lines on your skin, but the comfort of that only lasted so long.

There wasn’t much that would pull JJ out of his head or help numb all of his bullshit feelings, and when the alcohol and the weed didn’t work, he turned to you.

His touch was more sudden than it normally was. Hungry. He set your book on the nightstand before rolling on top of you, hands on your hips as he pinned you to the mattress and buried his face in your neck.

His kisses weren’t soft, and they were intermixed with bites on your skin that were then soothed by his tongue.

You tilted your head to give him more room as your arms hooked around his shoulders. “God, hello to you too.” You huffed out a small laugh as you spoke, a whine at the tail end of your words.

“Missed you.” Those were the only words he mumbled into the crook of your neck as he pulled on the collar of your T-shirt to be able to trail his lips down towards your shoulder.

“I missed you too.” You smiled softly to yourself as JJ pushed his hands up under your shirt and dug his fingers into the skin of your hips, holding on significantly tighter than he normally would… and that was something you picked up on pretty quick.

“Jayj…” He hummed into your skin as he unbuttoned your jean shorts, mumbling his words yet again. “Just touch me.”

You lifted your hips as he tugged at your shorts, JJ pulling them off of your body before moving right back over you and pulling your lips to his.

JJ always took his time to love on you. He would praise you, pay extra attention to all of the things he knew you were insecure about and make sure you knew he loved you all the same, and he hadn’t so much as muttered an ‘I love you’.

Those three words tend to free fall from JJ’s lips in moments like these, and the fact that you hadn't heard them was worrying you.

You traced your hands up and down his sides underneath his T-shirt, feeling his cold skin and JJ rolled his hips into yours as he groaned into your mouth. One of your hands came up to run through his hair as your lips parted from his, a small ‘fuck’ leaving your lips.

“JJ…” “Hm?” His eyes still didn’t meet yours, instead taking his lips right back to the already marked skin of your neck.

“Hey… slow down for a sec…”

He shook his head as he rolled his hips again, not because he didn’t care about how you were feeling, but just because he needed it all to stop.

“Baby…” You spoke in almost a whisper, trying to gently pull his head back so you could look at him.

JJ had been focusing on nipping at your skin, but the word ‘baby’ coming from your lips made him stop and he pulled his mouth away from your neck, resting his forehead in the crook of your shoulder, panting softly.

The feeling of your fingers in his hair and the sound of you calling him that was almost enough to make him forget what was going on in his head. Almost.

“What’s goin’ on, Jayj?”

He closed his eyes and pressed the whole length of his body harder against yours, feeling a desperate need to be buried inside you with your skin on his own. He just needed his head to be quiet for once. “Nothin’.”

“JJ… look at me.” You finally got him to lift his head, and as soon as you saw his glassy eyes and his tight set jaw, you knew something was up, and it was something that had nothing to do with you. “Where are you?”

He huffed, knowing exactly what you meant. You wanted to know where his head was at. “M’right here. With you.”

“You’re here physically, but you’re not with me, JJ.” You sighed softly as you moved some of his damp hair off of his forehead and studied his face. His light blue eyes seemed to be crying out for help.

“Can we not make this a thing?”

“I’m not trying to make this a thing, but you’re not okay…”

“I’m fine, I just need you.” He swallowed hard as his arms flexed a bit from holding himself above you for so long.

“No… you don’t need me; you’re using me to get to what you need.” You spoke with a tight jaw and a soft, but stern tone.

JJ felt his heart sink at your words… because you were right. He was using you, and god, that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. “I’m not trying to use you… I just… I need it to be quiet in my head…”

You pressed a light kiss to his nose before speaking. “But using sex to make all of the thoughts go away isn’t okay, JJ… and it isn’t fair to me.”

You watched JJ tighten his jaw at that, your words cutting through his anger and his desperation, and it was like for the first time since he came into the room, he actually saw you. He saw the girl he loved more than anything instead of just a way to escape the noise.

JJ ducked his head to your shoulder again and this time you pulled him closer to you, running one hand through his hair again and the other up and down his back.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, trying to swallow the burning in his throat.

“I know… I just need you to talk to me.” You murmured to him softly, just trying to calm him down.

“I’m so sorry…” He felt a tear escape and he was starting to feel his walls crumbling down. They always did around you. Every damn time.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’m right here.”

Those words are what made a quiet, strangled sob leave his lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist and held tightly to your body.

You held him and you let him cry into your shoulder until he was calmed down and his breathing was back to normal, and you pressed a small kiss to the top of his head as if to remind him that you were still there. “Shitty day, yeah?”

He nodded and picked himself up again, just on his elbows this time as he looked down at you, one of his hands coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Real shitty day…”

You didn’t pressure him into talking, you knew he would tell you when he was ready, but until then, you would make damn sure he knew you were there. For every thought he tried to make go quiet. For every shitty day. “I love you, you know that?”

“Hell yeah, I know that…” He huffed out a small, forced laugh as he committed every single aspect of your face to memory like he hadn’t already done so hundreds of times. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

You smiled softly at him and he just leaned down and pressed a small, tender kiss to your lips, one starkly different from the previous kisses. When your lips separated from his, he went right back to just looking at you. Taking you in. Reminding himself that you were there.  

[mingoner]

calling cards ⋆˙⟡ p. seonghwa

you have been able to make a name for yourself in creating garden landscapes for wealthy London elites, semi-successfully getting your parents off your back about marrying well. when a mutual friend connects you with a new client - a lonely bachelor named seonghwa - feelings wither before they grow fonder, but how will they end? notes: this story is writing with fem!reader (she/her pronouns, talks of gender roles, etc.) jsyk! another addition from my series "reveal the banns!" thank you for waiting :) wc: 5.7k

the sun shines on a garden landscape in the middle of london, the home of a young man made beautiful by degrees of nature.

with a final patch of tulips planted you stand on your feet, admiring the pieces of the sprawling garden design you have so carefully created and constructed.

you turn your head towards the main house to see a servant walking towards you, offering a glass of water while the owner of the estate looks out from the back door.

"please, come inside when you have finished," he yells towards you. "and after you are made clean," he adds as an afterthought, looking up and down at your dirtied dress.

once you are deemed clean enough to enter the residence you do so, seeking your friend hongjoong in one of his many drawing rooms. you descend from a privileged and rich London family, which is both how you are connected to hongjoong and how you are able to work what is basically a full time job at a time when women were expected to do all but lift a finger in labor.

“please, sit,” he instructs, but you both know he needn’t bother saying so. you have long since felt comfortable settling into the chairs in his home, your long talks stretching back over so many years.

"how has business been?" he asks, knowing fully well you barely had enough time to visit today in order to plant an unnecessary-to-others addition to the garden you have so laboriously planted and maintained for many years. he felt as though there was something missing and you knew exactly what to supplement with: always tulips.

"steady," you reply, not feeling the need to go into much detail. "the clifton's landscaping is taking longer than i first imagined. mrs. clifton has a specific picture to achieve and she keeps adding small and large additions. we should be finished next week, and if we are not then i will decide to be."

"well i am glad to hear you are so busy, and i am also glad you have a schedule clearing coming soon. an old friend of mine from university is moving to town and he is a fan of pretty things. would you be interested in helping him?"

"of course, for the right price," you counter teasingly.

"and for 'right price' you mean me excusing you out of social engagements?" he smirks.

"for whatever reason my mother is still hellbent on you being my future husband, even with all of the assurance otherwise and the complete lack of interest on our parts; so, you remain the most effective solution to any and all activities i wish to avoid. even today my mother had a tea planned but i was able to slip right out of it by merely mentioning your name,” you roll your eyes.

"i do what i can for my dearest companions," hongjoong smiled at you, happy your arrangement could offer such benefits.

oh, how he could not wait to see how you and his dear friend would interact.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

hongjoong brings you to your new client seonghwa's house the very next week, only a day after you have officially finished the clifton job. you parted ways at the front of the estate, he said he would go inside, announce your arrival, and wait for the man of the house to call everyone in together. you wanted to get a survey of the land before the preliminary talks of expectations in order to properly manage them.

you have taken notes of the front yard and part of one side when a figure stepped suddenly out from a small walking path.

"hello, is there anything i may assist you with?" the man asked cautiously, thinking you to be some kind of salesperson with your notebook and observing eyes. even now you were observing every part of him.

"i apologize," you start, "i am here to meet with the owner of the estate, park seonghwa. i am to be in charge of his landscaping. i only wanted to get a small lay of the land before we talked, but if i may be overstepping a boundary of your patron's please allow me to make it right at once. i shall easily be ushered where i am most welcome."

"i do not believe he should find your observations to be, instead, intrusions. please, continue with your previous course of action," he assured you.

you shared small smiles, a bow and curtsy, and you observed him one more. what a handsome young man, you thought, it would be pleasant to be tied with him for a few decades.

you went about your way and he went his, and only after you had leisurely strolled the property, having been allowed to take more time than you would have expected to have, were you called inside to meet the man of the hour.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

"this is park seonghwa, madam," hongjoong introduced his friend to you as you stepped into the drawing room.

you could not help the look of surprise as well as the mischievous smile wash over your face, "it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance," you say.

"the pleasure is all mine, madam," he smiles back.

you share a look, knowing that this was technically not your first time meeting and you both pause for a moment, you remembering your thoughts from the side yard with a blush. the moment is long enough for hongjoong to observe and he catalogues it for later, curious about how this will pan out.

"anyway," he diverts, "shall we begin the meeting?"

"we shall," seonghwa smiles gently, leading you to a room with the materials you require to draw out his garden design.

"let us begin."

⋆⭒˚.⋆

some flowers open early in the season and continue to bloom brightly until the first frost, some take time to properly blossom and receive their fair share of the sun. at some point in the job you had become fairly skilled at reading your client’s behaviors and attributing them to how flowers behaved as well. for example, mrs. clifton could be attributed to dahlias - needing endless care and significant time to grow, but beautiful nonetheless and gentle in their own way.

park seonghwa was something you could not quite place yet.

while seonghwa may have been quite open and kind in your first meeting, every time you have seen him since he has been the opposite: cold and distant. you have been to his estate four times now since the first meeting: to collect measurements, to approve designs, to label exactly where each plant or decoration would go, and only once to begin the actual work. each time you always only talked to a servant in the house, if you were even let inside the house. the single time you had to get his approval for your final design, you had to leave the design with the servant and come back later for the servant to tell you he agreed with your latest plan.

with each visit you were growing increasingly frustrated. you never imagined from that first meeting that he would turn out to be this kind of man. you are not so disillusioned to think you shared some kind of remarkable moment in his side yard before you "officially" met, but you at least thought all of the laughter and joviality from that meeting with hongjoong would translate into future meetings. you were quite wrong in that thinking, but what could have possibly changed from just your first meeting to every time after?

⋆⭒˚.⋆

it was only a matter of time before you figured it out. seonghwa has been directly avoiding you, and, to be very truthful, he has even resorted to staring at you longingly through the window during your visits. he will readily, yet ashamedly, admit that his gaze is indeed quite full of longing.

you walked so uprightly, eyes looking straight ahead of you like you never doubted where you would end up. you had a surety in your step but a softness in your smile that seonghwa had known would be dangerous to him ever since your first meeting. after you had left and it was only him and hongjoong, the other man had turned to him and asked slyly, “so, what are your thoughts on your new landscape architect? will she complete the job to your liking?” seonghwa knew exactly what he was implying and, to be fair, he had considered it for a second before his own insecurities set him back firmly on the path of reality.

he had no doubts of your ability, no one intelligent would think to suppose you held a deficiency of skill or talent. however, he had doubts of how he would handle seeing so much of you. he understood the pressure of everyone, but mostly women, to marry well, and he was nothing special. so, why would you waste any precious time thinking of him? no title in sight, just well educated and well paid, but he was a working man instead of an aristocrat who could live off the rent of his tenants in far-reaching properties. could you ever be interested in the life he could give you? would your parents ever approve of you marrying down? no, he wouldn’t hope for it.

so, he would just have to avoid you until this whole mess was settled.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

you were exactly one month into your project at seonghwa’s house before you met him outside of his estate for the first time. it was a typical summer ball, the outdoor garden filled with sprawling flowers and perfectly kept hedges creating a maze for guests to stroll through.

you were just conversing with mr. and mrs. clifton, with them praising the outcome of their garden and happily seeing so many people enjoying the grounds, when you spotted him out of the corner of your eye.

you could tell seonghwa became aware of you the same moment you became aware of him because he stiffened for a moment then went walking quite quickly in the opposite direction of you.

whatever suspicions you had before had been confirmed - he hated you. why he continued to have you work on his estate was beyond you, but nothing could shake your convictions that he was just an insecure man who was rattled greatly by a woman’s ability to make a name for herself. oh, you felt sorry for the man and the earful he was about to receive.

your feet could actually carry you rather fast if you just lifted your skirt slightly, and with long strides you managed to follow seonghwa until you had him cornered in an empty part of the maze. the hedges were high enough to block you from others' sights and the scene was probably fairly scandalous if a stranger were to stumble upon it.

you had his back up against the hedge and continued to stalk towards him, finally able to articulate the frustrations you have held onto for weeks now.

"why do you hate me so?" you ask, at first angered by his behavior but now only feeling resigned and heavy with disappointment. you see his eyes go wide with the question, a disbelieving look clear on his face. so he was going to play dumb with you?

words could not describe seonghwa’s feelings at the present moment. there was confusion from your assumptions, disappointment that his actions portrayed him as such a coward and that they made you feel judged in such a way, and part of him felt wholly overwhelmed by how attractive you yelling at him was to him. he should be able to focus on formulating an adequate response; instead, all he could think of was how your chest was moving now with your deep breaths as you had him basically pinned against the hedges.

suddenly, hongjoong, who had been watching the small game of cat and mouse from afar for far too long, turned into your corner of the maze and was shocked by the scene in front of him. while he did not care much about propriety, he certainly was aware of unsaid social rules enough to know that how close you two were and how decidedly without chaperones you were could create big problems for lots of people.

"what are you two doing here? why are you so -" hongjoong started but was interrupted, another lost group stumbling into your corner.

a girl you are familiar with, known for being a town gossip, gasped when she saw you with seonghwa and hongjoong, even though you and seonghwa had put much more distance in between yourselves after the arrival of your mutual friend.

for a second everyone stood still, no one in either party was moving or, seemingly, breathing. that is until hongjoong, ever the quick-thinker, jumped into action.

"seonghwa, you have been able to meet my dear friend but i wish for the two of you to be a little more amicable! how about we go to the party and the two of you could share a small dance?” he began to usher you both towards the manor, “really, seonghwa, i’m sure she thinks you hate her by how much you scowl around her,” he laughs out and you and seonghwa laugh uncomfortably - half because of the truth of it and half in order to make this strange excuse seem more believable. so he wants your stroll to look like three friends walking through the maze, you thought.

the girl looks at the three of you suspiciously and asks, “but for what reason were the three of you so close together in this maze all alone?”

“i thought a bout of bonding time was in order for my dear companions, they have not been as cordial as i should wish them to be as my mutual acquaintances,” hongjoong replies with a small laugh. “but i believe i must ask you the same, is there a chaperone in your own party?”

the girl flushes and mumbles an incoherent reply, with rushed well wishes the crowd disperses and the three of you share a sigh of relief as you walk back towards the manor.

“that was dangerously close and wildly improper,” hongjoong chastises you and seonghwa, and you have the decency to look sheepish. “but i stand by what i previously said, there has been a most confusing sort of hostility between the two of you for a reason i cannot place; so, in the midst of the scuffle, i took the liberty of writing seonghwa’s name on your dance card,” he directs a look at you. “whatever it is which you were discussing needs to continue if it is productive in bettering your relationship, but it needs to happen at a lower volume and in a proper way.”

both of you stopped suddenly in your walk and seonghwa felt a dramatic sort of notion that was undeniably true: he needed to clean up this mess he caused without confessing his feelings or you and any respect you could have for him would be lost forever. you felt an intense wave of dread for the imminent explosion of any personal relationship you could have with seonghwa, and how that might affect your friendship with hongjoong.

hongjoong just pushed you two forward.

when you were safely returned inside the ballroom and had waited a few minutes for a new song to start, hongjoong pushed the two of you again into the center of the dance floor where you had no choice but to meet seonghwa's eyes and continue the conversation where you left off. only now, the passion you had felt in the maze had seemingly disappeared and the two of you were left in silence.

you were content with letting the dance play through with no words spoken on your part when seonghwa decided against that.

"i must apologize to you at once," he started, and when you began to reply he signaled for you to let him continue. "i have ignored the rules of polite society and my own moral upbringing for most of our acquaintance, and i refuse to do so any longer. i have been unobliging and obstinate towards you and i must set it right, for your position in society has everything to do with my reasoning," he quickens his point as you raise an eyebrow in anger. "i find you to be one of most incredible beings i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. you are headstrong, humorous, and you are sure of yourself in a way i have never seen before. it is because i believe your social position to be above mine and your personality to be more suited for friends who are more confident like yourself that i have not been able to face you like an equal. not because i fancy myself to be above you, but because i see you as someone who is so decidedly stationed above me."

once he finishes there is a long pause between you. you take a moment to comb through his words and process just how wrong you had been about him once you decided the words held truth in them. he searches his words for any hint of romantic feelings and does not enjoy the subtext in which someone could infer from his speech.

"seonghwa," you start, "i decide my companions. i alone decide if the person with whom i am fraternizing with is 'good enough' or 'not good enough' for me. if you believe me to be so sure of myself i hope you will take a guarantee in these words - if i seek you out it is because i respect you and because i think highly of you." you begin to think about all you know of him, tales of his work ethic and kindness reaching your ears from many different clients and friends. "i admire that you are a working man, i believe it takes strength and dedication to commit your life to work, and that is a value i appreciate in my friends and in potential suitors," you realize a moment too late what you have said, and in that time both of you have flushed pink.

"i mean, i do not think of your station being anywhere except for on my level," you quickly get out, looking into his eyes to ensure he understands the truth in your words but quickly avoiding them the moment your words sink into him.

the dance was winding down, finishing much quicker than you previously thought it would have. you were out of time for talking, except seonghwa takes a careful look at you.

"would you mind if we continued to dance? i would love to ask you questions about your work - i promise i am not always consumed by such feelings of insecurity," he asks with you with a slight laugh for the last line of his appeal.

you join his laughter and agree, letting the music begin again with you both standing in the middle of the room - everything falling into place like it was made to support you and seonghwa.

with that shared dance, it seemed that peace had finally been attained.

you were much happier for it than you would care to admit.

later, when seonghwa went for a glass of punch to quench his thirst, he overheard the girl who had stumbled upon your group talking with her friends in the corner.

"you know between the two choices, i think it is clear. she should absolutely choose the duke! he is handsome, smart, rich beyond compare, and he does not seem to give anyone else the time of day," she said.

one of her friends countered, "but they have been friends for some time now, i think it to be highly unlikely that any romance could bloom so late in their acquaintance with each other. either way, i think mr. park would fit her much better! he is gentle, even more handsome, and he is quite rich as well! maybe he lacks the fortune of a duke, but she will never not be satisfied by a man of his station."

"either way we can all agree that they would both be satisfactory options for her, and i, for one, cannot wait to see who puts the ring on her finger at the end of the season," another girl squealed.

seonghwa escapes the group of giggling girls without notice and he cannot help but to feel slightly pleased in spite of himself. maybe they are right and someone like hongjoong would be more suited to you situationally, but he knows his friend has no interest in you in that way. and to hear people in the ton, some of the most notorious gossips at that, say an arrangement between the two of you would not completely be shocking, but even slightly encouraged, is something he valued more than he could say.

maybe he had more of a chance than he previously thought; after all, he may not have the "fortune of a duke", but he could still potentially be the one whom you refer to as your "husband".

⋆⭒˚.⋆

after that dance it seemed like a true friendship had formed between you and seonghwa, though that in and of itself was becoming a separate problem. with each day you spent tending to his garden you gradually had opportunity after opportunity to learn about the man whose home you were beautifying, and that was becoming dangerous.

at every turn you found him to be incredibly thoughtful: hand-delivering water to you at intervals throughout the day, making sure you always had a place to rest under some shade, never allowing you to stay outside in the heat for too long.

in every breath he was kind: asking about your day, offering rare books in his collection for you to borrow, inquiring about your favorite projects and what drew you to gardening in the first place.

and with everything in his body he was endlessly attractive: with sweat dripping down his neck when he would hand you your glass of water, taking a break with you as he made sure you drank the whole cup. he was unfairly attractive when he would reach across you and flex his bicep unwittingly, trying to position a plant correctly according to your instructions when he insisted he offer you help on a particularly long or hot day. and he was uncommonly handsome when he would invite you into his home for a snack, asking for your permission to give your hands a small massage for their hard work that day. his excuse would always be something about making sure his employees were in their peak form at all times, but you hoped dearly that no other received the same treatment from him.

in all, seonghwa was dangerous, he was cruel, and he was in seemingly ever-present danger of making you fall in love with him any day now. if you were being honest, that day might have already come, but you were too stubborn to admit that yet.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

a few days later, after you, against your will, started to become aware of your feelings, you finish your walk around hongjoong's garden to complete small maintenance and make sure everything is looking as it should before you go inside the house, falling into a chair in the drawing room.

hongjoong awaits you on the couch across from you, looking at you slyly and sipping a glass of something dark.

"so," he starts nonchalantly, "i have noticed an increasing number of social events have had the distinct honor of your attendance recently. would this rare phenomenon have anything to do with the gentleman who has lately been present as well? maybe a man referred to as a mr. park seong-"

"please abandon that sentence before you can finish it," you reply, trying to look unfazed. his words hit much deeper than you would ever care to admit.

"i only ask because it seems as though your payment for the park project is becoming null and void, if my excuses for social events were your price for his garden, why have you continued your work?" he asks, knowing the reason all too well. to be fair, he has met with you and seonghwa many times at seonghwa's house as you have been progressing on the garden, even once interrupting a strangely intimate hand massage - that one still confuses him.

“we have become friends,” you say with a similar, but more forced, tone of nonchalance. “i have a great admiration and respect for his character. with that reason also comes the one which says i have too much respect for myself and my work to quit a project before i can finish it. it is impossible to tell when my time at the park estate will be finished but i do not necessarily hope for it to be over,” you tell hongjoong, gritting your teeth for the next part. “i have become aware of, spiteful of, and currently resigned to potential romantic feelings towards that gentleman, as i am sure you know. in this lies a very serious problem in that i believe we are just too ill-suited for each other to ever be successful, so those feelings must stay unheard of. so, please do not attempt to meddle with my love life.”

“you may ask things of me which i may not decide to give,” hongjoong answers. “things like discretion as well as a promise not to meddle in the affairs of two people who are more suited for each other than anyone else i have ever met - mr. and mrs. clifton included,” hongjoong laughs, then turns serious. “you and seonghwa are a match that even an imbecile could see is worthy of pursuit, and i will actively try to make both of you see that. that is, in fact, a warning, threat, and promise all wrapped in one.” he gives you a long look.

you only sigh, knowing the storm had not yet passed and the rain showed no signs of letting up - not if hongjoong had any say in the matter.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

everything falls apart too easily.

after so many months of growth, it all happens in one night at a ball, getting to be one of the last of the season, when a man you had never met before approaches you with hongjoong.

"madam," hongjoong says, "may i present another old friend of mine from university, this is song mingi."

mingi gave you a slight bow, taking your hand and giving the back of it a small kiss. "it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance ma'am," mingi drawls. (hongjoong privately rolls his eyes at how thick he decided to lay it on.)

"he saw you from across the room and asked if i were familiar with you, how lucky of me to be able to say yes," hongjoong said, laughing. "in fact, mingi, there should be another acquaintance of ours lurking around here somewhere, he always seems to be floating around wherever this young lady may find herself," they both look at you with small smirks and your cheeks flush.

finally, hongjoong spots seonghwa and ushers him over, not without taking special notice of the way his eyes seemed to be locked on mingi, a particularly unpleasant look on his face and eyes clearly observing the flush on your own face.

mingi turns and sees him as seonghwa stalks your way, and while of course he missed his old friend, he was more excited to be apart of hongjoong’s plan to kick things into action for the two of you.

“seonghwa!” mingi exclaimed and they shared a firm handshake, one that was more firm on the side of one particular person. the rest of the evening followed in a similar fashion, seonghwa riding the line between gladness to see his friend and absolute loathing for how he thought mingi looked at you.

through conversations drowning in layers of tension, and even one incredibly tense dance between you and mingi, seonghwa’s eyes almost never left you. he was beginning to see all which he could lose.

when everyone had retired for the evening and you went back to your own bed for the night, the three boys returned to hongjoong’s house to catch up.

one drink became two, which then became the bottle, and after only a short while each of the men were stumbling around the estate looking for trouble.

in the garden mingi finally said, “i am only in town for a short while, seonghwa you must tell me when i should clear my calendar to return for a wedding!”

seonghwa flushed deeply, “maybe i should ask you that instead,” he said, voice coming out full of bitterness.

the other two boys startled, surprised by the abrupt change in tone of the conversation.

“what do you mean?” hongjoong asked gently, treading carefully.

“i mean that i saw how she blushed when he was near,” he points to mingi and turns to him. “i saw how she gravitated towards you and how she smiled at all of your comments, laughed at all of your jokes, all the special attention she paid to you while she couldn’t stand to look at me.” his drunken rant continues, now joined by small tears streaming down his face. “i knew my first impression would come back to haunt me, she wants nothing to do with me!”

he walks deeper into the garden with every word when he stumbles upon a little patch of tulips, obviously planted later than the other plants, but growing and thriving nonetheless.

“i wish i could tell her everything in my heart,” he mourns, he grieves for something he has not yet lost.

mingi and hongjoong share a deep look, knowing that without even stronger and more forceful meddling seonghwa would be lost forever.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

the following day the men plan for a dinner at seonghwa’s house once he has recovered from his intense hangover and is at least slightly less involved in a self-thrown pity party. and while seonghwa has sobered up enough to let go of the most dramatic of the feelings he shared last night, he still felt the base of them linger in the back of his mind.

it was not until hongjoong and mingi had arrived for dinner and the three of them had settled down that seonghwa began to suspect something, and that is when he noticed the fourth plate setting. he looks briefly at it then glances up to hongjoong and darts his eyes between the two biggest imbeciles he has ever met.

"do not tell me -" he tries, but is interrupted.

"mr. park," a servant calls out, "another guest has arrived!"

you step into the room as the servant announces your name, looking beautiful and smiling brightly, smiling only for him.

"thank you kindly for the invitation, sir," you say with a curtsy. he never really had a chance against you.

as dinner progresses and hongjoong's 'subtle' hints get decidedly less and less subtle, and seonghwa becomes more and more withdrawn; so, hongjoong and mingi decide to change tactics.

now that the last course was about to be served, hongjoong makes up an incredibly transparent excuse, "i must oversee the desert selection, mingi could you lend me a hand?" he asks quite forcefully.

"why of course good sir, i would be delighted," mingi smirks as he stares into seonghwa's eyes for the whole of his reply.

seonghwa glares back then turns to you with a softened gaze. once they leave the room, he feels as though he owes you an apology.

he moves slightly closer to you and takes one of your hands, takes a deep breath, and summons all the courage he can find.

"please, madam, if i may say so without supposition or pretension," he takes another deep breath, "i hold you in the highest regard possible in my heart. i have fallen slowly but mightily in love with your character, morality, humor, and kindness during our acquaintance this season; however, i have observed you for months and in all of that time i have not seen any indications of a return of these precious feelings of mine. instead, i have seen an interest on your part for my dear friend mingi, so i would like to finally be brave enough to say exactly what i must in order to do what is right. i love you. and it is because i love you that mingi will never feel comfortable acting on his feelings for you. so, i arranged this morning transport for me to leave town in two days, the very day you are projected to finish the garden on my estate. i thought i at least owed it to you to see the project through. i apologize for any - "

"if you leave in two days i will never forgive you," you interrupt him and his eyes widen. "you have made me wait for so long for a confession of love from you and you cloud it so with talks of mingi? i do not know that man! i only met him a few days ago! he means nothing! you, seonghwa," you grip him tightly, pleading with him to hear you, "you mean everything. he shall never compare to you. he cannot make me feel even a fraction of the love i feel for you when you smile at me, and he cannot make me feel even an ounce of the despair i feel when you refuse to converse with me. i only care for you. i do not know in what moments you have observed me to think me impartial to you, but i cannot help to think that either you have a great deficiency of sight or i, too, have been a fool to let this go on for so long. it is you, seonghwa. it has always only ever been you. i always only want it to be you."

the room stands shockingly quiet for a long moment, until he takes the hand he had grasped so tightly and brings it to his lips.

"i guess all there is to do now is to make me the happiest and most grateful man on earth."

"i guess that must be so."

⋆⭒˚.⋆

for months leading up to your wedding hongjoong and mingi bicker about who will take credit for your partnership at your marriage reception.

you and seonghwa just laugh and discuss which color tulips will be featured at your ceremony.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

[braveheartstoryteller]

It would be very easy to miss…that intense fear that crosses Sora’s features. Right there, between all of the in-betweens, the animators chose for one brief second to show Sora’s fear, then it disappears. But when I saw it, it never left my head. 

Shown right before everything overwhelms Sora's senses, when Roxas shares his memories with Sora. It is probably one of Sora’s most vulnerable moments. In fact, if you watch that scene frame by frame, you discover just how painful this scene really is. Sora’s agony is written all over his face. When at normal speed, it just goes by so fast. It was this moment that Naminé warned about in Re:coded:

"These memories, all of them are too painful. Handled the wrong way, they could damage Sora's heart, even break it."

And it does very nearly break Sora. After Sora expresses his hurt after his encounter with Roxas, Riku’s words reach Sora:

"Sora, don't chase the dreams. They'll lead you nowhere, just to an abyss you'll never be able to wake up from."

As we know, Riku’s words do come true. Because Sora can’t help but feel. It shows just how painful this moment was. And something like that can scar.

What type of scars? Well, to answer that we’d have to ask another question: just what does Roxas represent in the story? Or, to put it another way, who is Roxas to Sora? 

We’re told that Roxas is supposed to be Sora’s Nobody. Not only that, Roxas is supposed to represent Sora’s darkness. This confused me a long time. It wasn’t helped by the fact that it seemed to get retconned later with the advent of Ventus. Still, what was the original angle? I mean, Roxas didn’t feel like Sora to me.

But then it hit me. Roxas is Sora without Sora’s emotional compass. I’ve always seen Sora as one to navigate his world by “feel.” It’s why making him feel strong emotions is a way to trap him, as we see in CofM and DDD. Roxas doesn’t have that however. Instead he’s forced to bumble around, try to navigate his world, without a way to parse it. It’s a scary thing, not being able to feel. It’s like cutting off a limb, there is so much one can’t do when one feels that way. It isn't like Roxas couldn't make connections, he did with Axel and Xion. However he couldn’t understand what they were, or how they worked. It was a mystery. Because of that, it was easy for Roxas to feel very unmoored from his world, especially in the beginning. 

But that is what Sora would have felt in all those memories Roxas shared. That feeling of disconnection, being alone without support and the isolation that comes from all that, would be enough to break Sora.

Again, going back to Naminé’s words, this time from Days (the game, not the movie):

"If I try to just jump in and rearrange her (Xion's) memory...then I risk Sora waking up to find out nobody remembers him anymore. I can't do that to him."

Naminé knew just how much Sora needed his connections. And how the lack of it would hurt Sora. It has always been there. But by feeling it in such a forceful and overwhelming way, Roxas' memories only took what was in Sora's heart and intensified it, and brought it to the forefront. It seemed to be an undercurrent in KH3, all the way to the Keyblade Graveyard. Where in the end all Sora can do, is break down and weep.

[bluewxrld07]

Soap (3)

Lando Norris X F!Reader X Max Verstappen

Summary: Y/N has always loved hard and shows that through affection. Especially lately. She's a touch-starved kind of lovergirl, and Lando has always been okay with it. At least she thought so.

Warning(s): angst, tension, flangst, fluff

A/N: TAGLIST IS FULL!!!! I won't be able to tag anymore of you on it, I'm sorry, loves!! I wrote this entire fic listening to Olivia Rodrigo guys so have so much fun lol. I love how much you guys are loving this fic and my writing, it truly means the world!! Enjoy this for now, friends :)

Things had been different.

As normal as they could be now, in the moment, but still different.

People had begun to notice that Lando and Y/N had not been seen with one another.

The pair had never really called it quits, but they both truly knew it was done the second she walked out that door at the Canadian GP. That's what hurt the most.

Lando knew better than most that she would come around when she was ready. That she would say her piece when she felt it was a better time. He knew better than to push her. He knew that now at least. It didn't stop the constant messaging he did the night of their fight, he couldn't help it.

His emotions got the best of him that night, and they continued to get the best of him. When it came to the after-party post the F1 movie premiere, he couldn't stop thinking about Lewis' words.

It didn't stop him from messaging Max that night of the premiere, asking if it were true.

You have a lot of fuckin nerve to be sending me a message right now

That's all he received from the Redbull driver, nothing more, nothing less. Lando didn't know if he should be worried or have no right to be upset knowing what he knows now.

He didn't even think Max would send a response back. If anything, he expected a middle finger emoji if Max did respond.

He definitely couldn't be mad in this very moment he woke up in.

A sigh left his lips as he got dressed in his hotel room, pulling on his clothes for the flight back to Monaco. Too tired and distraught to even worry about the state of his hair, throwing a hat on over it with his hood.

He grabbed his things, setting down a note on the nightstand. His eyes stayed on the familiar blonde head, Magui, who was his ex-girlfriend, who lay bare on his bed, fast asleep.

Without a second look, he had made his way out the door, and out towards the car waiting for his arrival.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

There was a knock on Y/N's bathroom door, the girl mumbling a 'come in' not too long, Max peering his head in. He looked at her in amusement, opening the door wider as he stood there leaning against the doorframe.

Y/N sat on her counter, legs criss-crossed in front of the sink, hair sitting in curlers as she was doing up her makeup, one of her playlists playing softly in the back. She looks back at him through the mirror, a soft and genuine smile forming on her lips. "What?"

He shook his head, snapping out of the daze he caught himself in as he looked at her with his arms crossed.

"Nothing. Do you want anything while I'm out?" Max asks her, and she nods, looking back at him.

"Can you get more bubbly water?" her voice softly responds, Max nodding at her. "The orange cream?"

She nods with a hum. "Anything else, or just that?"

"No, just that. I don't need anything else for now, especially since we have to leave for Austria in a few days," she explains, turning her head back to finish doing her makeup.

"Got it," he hums before walking up behind her. His arms wrap around her waist, causing her to flinch lightly, the action not going ignored by Max. He frowns.

Ever since they'd gotten home, she had been acting differently. Acting off, less touchy, more faded.

That was almost two weeks ago.

Max hated it. He hated this new her; it wasn't like her at all. He could tell she craved to be touched, to be shown affection in some sort of way. To hug everyone she came into contact with, because it was a normal reflex of hers.

He had watched how she would go up to hug some of the crew, only to hesitate and make it look like she was just stretching instead of pulling them into hugs.

Or when Max would come by to watch a movie with her, to keep her distracted from falling into the social media craze going on.

He could see how her body would twitch to reach out for him across the couch. Max is only sitting far from her to give her space, to not overwhelm her.

Then, when he would finally give up, pull her into his embrace, he would feel the instant relaxation her body would. Like she was melting into his own body.

This wasn't her. This wasn't Y/N.

Instead of arguing, as now wasn't the best time for it, he placed a kiss on her head and hugged her tightly. Careful to not mess her concentration up as she did her eyeshadow.

"I'll be back in a bit, yeah? Then off to La Rascasse?" he says, his eyes connecting with hers in the mirror.

"Sounds good to me," she agrees, Max pressing one more kiss to her head before leaving the bathroom. He heads towards her hallway to slip on his shoes and grab his keys.

The house becomes silent after he leaves, Y/N feeling weird now that she is on her own. Her music was playing softly in the background of the bathroom, echoing along the walls. Something in her body felt off when Max wasn't there.

Y/N hums to herself as she leans back to look at her eye makeup from a distance, nodding once to herself in satisfaction before moving over to put on her lashes.

As she begins to reach over the counter to grab her lash supplies, her phone began to buzz next to her.

She looks down at the name, only frowning as she reads the name across the screen. She debates with herself on answering. Deciding to slide it over to answer.

Y/N brings up the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Y/N, hey."

"Hey Charles, what's going on? You okay?"

"I'm alright, I just needed to make you aware of something," he says slowly, his tone sounding unnerving. "I think it's right to let you know, so you can sort out the options."

She frowns at his words.

"Um, yeah, okay. What does that mean?"

"Have you spoken to Lando?"

Hearing his name was easier than it was a couple of weeks prior. Y/N not freezing as soon as she hears his name off Charles' lips.

"He's been trying to message me. I just don't respond. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

She hears him sigh on the other end. She can imagine he is probably running a hand over his face as the breath sounds muffled. "Well, this might be a deal breaker. I think you deserve to know, in case things change between you two."

"Charles, I love you, but please spit it out. I'm not going to break more than I already have."

"Y/N," he starts, as if he is trying to find the words. "He's been seeing Magui again. They left together after the premiere, and then she's been around our group a lot more."

Y/N doesn't really know how to react in that moment. She thought it would break her to hear the news, but she didn't feel her insides churn. She didn't feel like screaming, just felt like her throat went dry.

The girl hadn't even noticed how long it had been until Charles said her name, making her clear her throat and shake her head slightly.

"You okay?" he asks.

She didn't know at that moment. She wasn't exactly peachy, but she wasn't crying on the floor, unable to breathe. Not like she would've been if it were two weeks ago when she heard the news.

"Fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't really know what to say."

"I'm sorry. I just figured you needed to know. Alex and I really thought it would be wrong if you found out by her being seen around the paddock one day," he admits, making her nod with a hum. She began to pinch at her skin not too long after. "I know this is probably a dumb question to ask, but does this mean you guys are over? Like really over?"

Hearing the question in real words made it feel surreal. It made it sound official. Not that they ever really did vocalize it, but deep down, they both had known. She had known she wouldn't have been able to act like it never happened. Like he never said what he did.

"No. I don't think so," she finally says, pinching her thighs as she bites her lip.

Most would've said she was being dramatic or inconsiderate. What they didn't know was that it was way deeper than people knew.

She was never allowed to show her feelings, express them, or talk about them growing up with her grandparents. They absolutely hated it; they always said it would make her look weak.

It wasn't until she had met Max that she realized showing and sharing emotions was not a bad thing to do. It was a good thing. He was the reason she showed more love, more affection, more emotion with others.

Max showed her it was okay to be herself. He was never ashamed of her.

Lando had been skeptical of it at the start, shrugging it off. Always asking her why she was so touchy. Y/N never thought anything of it, never looked more into the way he gave her weird looks when she explained why.

When Max never questioned it. Not once. He embraced it, which to this day still shocks her, as he is not the type of guy who likes showing affection like that. He liked keeping the mysterious and dark persona.

That's why people said she was like the sunshine to him. She never had to hesitate around Max. When he was mad, he never pushed her away.

Always made her feel like she was enough.

Oh fuck.

Charles and she didn't talk for much longer after that, only asking when and where they would be once they got to the club later that evening. Y/N's mind racing as time passed.

It wasn't long before Max was back, the girl hearing him announce his presence when walking through the door.

"Schat, where'd you go?" he asks, Y/N realizing he had walked by the bathroom.

"Bedroom! Trying to put on my dress," she says more to herself as she huffs while trying to zip the side of it up her torso. "Neuken, come on," she mutters to herself, her tongue sticking out as she tries to zip up the side.

Max walks in, chuckling as he watches her struggle. He couldn't help but take in how pretty she looked in that moment.

The dress fit her form perfectly, despite her curses and arguments with the zipper; he thought she was glowing. "Wil je hulp lieverd?" (You want help, dear?) he chuckles at her, earning a knowing look from her.

"What do you think, wijsneus?"

Max puts his hands up in surrender before making his way over to her, bending over slightly to be at the height of her issue.

"Arms up, mooi meisje," he says softly, his head now closer to her own as she finds herself looking at him. She does as she's told, lifting her arms up as his hands smoothly help the zipper glide up her skin.

Goosebumps rose on her skin as he finished, Max keeping his eyes on the zipper in concentration.

"You sure love to stare, don't you?" he jokes, earning an eyeball from her. Max chuckles, hearing her swear at him in Dutch. Max looks down at the ground next to them, seeing her shoes sitting there.

Max goes to bend down, grabbing the heels before turning back towards her, fully kneeling in front of her. She frowns.

"What're you doing?" she asks. "You don't have to help me, I can do it."

Max tuts at her as she tries to grab her heels from him.

"Lemme help," he offers, giving her a look. She shoots one back.

"I don't wanna be-"

"I swear if you say that you don't want to be suffocating one more time, we're going to have bigger issues," his voice more stern and serious in that moment. She doesn't miss the way his eyes had something fiery behind them.

"But Max-"

"Enough."

"Max-"

"Y/N I said enough, liefje."

Y/N nods slowly, knowing better then to test Max's patience, as it was something that wore thing very quickly with him.

He pats his shoulders. "Put your hands here for support," he tells her while leaning down to grab her left foot and place her heel on. Y/N softly places her hands on him, keeping her grip somewhat firm. He began to wrap the straps around her calves, Y/N not missing the way his fingertips softly would come into contact with her skin.

It made it feel different. Weird. It was a feeling she wasn't complaining about, that was for sure.

He sets her leg down, then grabs her other foot to do the same process. Y/N feels herself gulping every so often as she finds herself craving his touch more and more.

She told herself it was because she was touch-starved. She wasn't as touchy anymore as she once was. It was the itch coming back as she tried to hold back from being who she normally was.

Max finishes tying the straps together, his eyes looking up at hers to see her looking down at him with an expression he could read better than she could.

Y/N was aroused. She didn't even know it. He could tell.

So instead of saying some snide comment, he decides to play into it. His eyes never left her own as he brought his lips down to the inside of her thigh by her knee, letting them run featherlight against her skin. He then decided to place a slow and light kiss onto the skin just above the inside of her knee.

He doesn't miss the way her chest moved up and down a bit quicker than normal, Max letting a small smirk form on his lip as he pulled away. He stood up shortly after, placing a hand on her waist as he placed a kiss on her head.

"Let's get going before we hear it from Daniel for being late."

She stood there dumbfounded, unsure of what had just happened. Her body tingling in a way she was not used to feeling. Like she wanted more of not just someone's touch, but Max's touch.

What was happening?

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Once they had arrived, Max didn't hesitate to grab her hand tightly to weave through the buzzing crowds inside the darkened atmosphere.

Y/N kept her distance when they approached the table, only doing small hugs with everyone she greeted. Not wanting to overstep in their space.

It wasn't until Daniel had come up to hug her, frowning when she gave him a shy side-hug. He shook his head. "No, you bring it all in. Come here," he chuckles to her, pulling Y/N in for the biggest bear hug. She felt herself relax as her arms wrapped around his torso, squeezing him back just as much as he did her.

Max kept his gaze on her as he watched her face contort from anxious to content in a matter of seconds.

Once Daniel had broken away from her, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Charles in a tight hug. A Y/N kind of hug. Charles didn't hesitate to wrap her up in his embrace, humming with a laugh.

"There's the Y/N I know," he jokes as he pulls away. "Always sharing love with everyone. How it should be."

He nods at her slowly in understanding, Y/N giving him a sheepish smile.

"Wait, did Charles get a Y/N hug? Move over, it's my turn!" Lewis jokes before cutting in to let Y/N wrap her arms around him tightly.

"I've missed these. It hasn't been the same," he groans. Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Such a drama queen."

Lewis pulls away and looks at her. "I'm serious. Your physical affection is like the entire grid's depression cure. Never change."

Y/N lets his words sink in, nodding at him before going to sit down on one of the couches next to Max. He leaned over to her.

"See? Everyone loves it. Loves you," he mumbles into her ear. "Get that nonsense out of your head. Own who you are," he assures her, pulling back to give her a knowing look. She just stares back at him, his closeness making her heart beat faster.

"I'll try."

"And trying is enough."

She smiles at him before he kisses her temple, turning to start a conversation with Daniel and George. Y/N had ended up talking with Alexandra and Kika for a bit, her mind staying distracted as they conversed.

The night had dragged on, filled with dancing, drinks, trips to the DJ booth and appetizers being ordered to their section.

Y/N had felt relaxed for the first time in days.

She had loosened up enough to go dance with the girls, feeling her throat drying up from the lack of water in her system.

Her hand finds Kika's, squeezing it to get her attention. "I'm going to go get some water, and then step outside," she tells her, watching her friend nod with a smile.

Y/N went and grabbed a water from one of the bartenders, then made her way towards the balcony where a staircase led to the rooftop. She stuck with standing out on the balcony, not wanting everyone to send out a search party if she was gone for too long.

She let herself lean over the balcony, somewhat resting her aching feet in the heels she wore. A sigh left her lips as the wind blew into her face.

"You look gorgeous," a low voice booms behind her, causing her to whip her head around. Her breathing stilled.

Lando stood there with his hands in his pockets, his button-up halfway undone, and a pair of black jeans donning his legs. He had a somewhat nervous and sheepish expression on his face, like he was preparing himself for her to not give him the time of day.

When she said nothing and turned back to the view in front of her, Lando took that as his chance to take the spot next to her.

He leaned over the railing, lacing both of his hands together as his elbows propped him over it slightly. He let out a huff, his eyes searching the view in front of them.

"How have you been?" he asked her, keeping his gaze ahead.

She nods slowly, pursing her lips together. "Good."

Lando hums with a nod. "That's good."

"What do you want, Lando?" she asks softly, her tone sounding defeated as she begins to pinch at her skin. He lets his head fall to look at his hands.

"I want to say I'm sorry," he starts, hearing her scoff. "I know it's late, first off, and that you don't want to give me the time of day, second off. I just couldn't keep it contained any longer."

"Is that it?"

"No," he sighs. "I regret what I said. Every single day since then. You're not anything I said. You're the complete opposite."

She looks at him, seeing his jaw clench and unclench before he turns his head to look at her. "You're loving. You're caring. You give love to everyone around you because that's just who you are. You're a giver."

Her gaze was blank, but he could tell she was preventing herself from lighting him up. Because she was better than that. Even though they both knew he deserved it. "I was angry and mad and upset about how the race ended for me. I took it out on you, and that's not okay. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry," he says, his tone uneven and cracking every so often as he turns his whole body towards hers.

Y/N crosses her arms, feeling her guard slip lightly. Then the reminder of the phone call with Charles earlier echoes in her brain. She looks down at the ground for a moment. She then looks back up at him.

"Thank you. For apologizing," she starts, her voice like silk. Lando feeling his body physically relaxing. "But you chose to wrap yourself around Magui for the time being."

Lando felt his face falter, his stomach drop to his ass. He frowns. "How-how did you-"

"Charles thought I should be aware. In case things would have changed between us," she admits. "I get that you were feeling a lot of guilt and regret. But seeing her after what she's done to you showed me something else in you. I can't trust that."

Lando nods at her words, letting his head fall to look at his feet.

"I do care about you Lando. I always will, that'll never change," she assures him. "But I need someone who won't make me question my worth when things get tough. Or say things in the heat of the moment that cause breaks like these."

He nods. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I hope you know that."

She nods, giving him a shy and sad smile. "I know that now. But you can't turn back time."

"I know," he agrees. "Can I at least hug you? It's been killing me."

Y/N stops herself from chuckling at his words, nodding slowly. Lando doesn't waste another second slithering his arms around her waist to pull her into his embrace. She wraps her arms around his neck, the affection feeling different between them now. More platonic than romantic. "I hope she treats you better this time," Y/N admits as they pulled away.

He shrugs. "Seems like she's changed. I don't want to take any risks yet."

The pair soon makes their way back inside, Y/N looking around for a familiar Dutch driver. She somewhat feels her body react before her emotions, stopping in her tracks.

He was across the bar, talking and chatting closely with his ex girlfriend, whom was getting closer than Y/N liked to admit.

She didn't understand why it was making her insides churn. Why she was glaring at the two long enough to make Lando chuckle at her expression.

"I wouldn't stress about that," Lando says, making her snap out of her daze and frown at him.

"What do you mean? Worry about what?"

Lando laughs harder at her dumbfounded state. He motions towards Max and Kelly. "That. The pair you're basically digging graves for with your eyes."

Y/N shook her head in confusion. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean."

Lando can see the genuine confusion in her eyes, the Brit realizing she hasn't come to her senses yet. He knew Max would probably kill him when he found out the next thing he let slip before he could control it.

"Max is so in love with you," he admits, making them both widen their eyes. Lando for being shocked that he just said that, Y/N for hearing the words that left his mouth.

"I- He- What?" she sputters, Lando groaning as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Well fuck," Lando chuckles to himself nervously. He then sighs in defeat. "No going back now. But yeah, Max loves you. Always has."

Y/N shook her head. "No. No way. Good joke," she chuckles before walking back towards their section of the room. Lando followed after her as she marched her way towards Daniel and Lewis.

The pair smiled warmly at her, then they frowned, seeing the determination and shock on her face.

"You alright?" Daniel asks once she gets to them.

"Is it true?" she asks, the boys looking at her confused.

It wasn't long until Lando came up behind her, a somewhat anxious look on his face. Lewis scowls at him. "What did you say to her?" he whips, making her put her hands up in defense.

"He didn't mean to, don't yell at him," she defends, not missing the way shock is all over their faces. "Although he might need help escaping after Max finds out."

"Okay, seriously, what did you tell her? Max already has a target on your head," Daniel groans while rubbing a hand over his face.

"Max is in love with me?"

Lewis choked on his drink, Daniel choked on air, and Lando rubbed the back of his neck. The two older boys look at Lando. "I'd get a head start on running if I were you," Lewis says, Lando letting out a groan.

"So it's true?" Y/N asks, her tone softer as she crossed her arms.

They look back down at her before Lewis sighs with a nod. "Yeah, it's true."

Y/N didn't know what to think, or much less what to do in that moment.

A part of her was confused, while a bigger part of her felt something different. Almost as if it were relief. Like hearing those words brought her entire body into a calmer realm.

"I think you made her short-circuit," Daniel says as he leans over to Lewis. Y/N gives them a look. She then turns to Lando, putting a hand on his arm.

"They're right," she says with a nod. "You're gonna want to get a headstart on running right now."

"Y/N!" Lando groans while running both hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry! It's true!"

"She's right, mate. Espcially after he almost bashed your head into the wall at the dinner last week-"

"He did what?!" She snaps, the boys all flinching at her tone, the dutch accent coming out more evidently in that moment.

"To be fair he deserved it after everything that happened on race day," Lewis says while pointing at Lando, whom agrees shockingly enough.

"Besides the point," Daniel cuts in. "What're you thinking? What's happening in that brain of yours?"

She shook her head. "Everything. Nothing. I don't even know," she sputters out, rubbing her forehead. Her head snaps over to Max, whom was still happily talking and laughing with Kelly.

Before she realized it, her insides began to churn again, eyes squinting harshly their way.

"Wow, jealous much?" Lewis jokes, making her smack his arm.

"I don't get jealous."

"You do," Lando admits. "You are right now."

She glares at him. "Shouldn't you be halfway across Europe by now?"

His face fell at her words, and Daniel and Lewis both snickered at her words. He rolled his eyes a second later, putting a hand on her torso and squeezing it lightly.

She sees Kelly's hand reach up to caress his shoulder, which made the boys all mumble out 'uh-oh's. Y/N decides to fully turn her body towards their direction, crossing her arms while keeping her stare directly on them.

"Are you gonna glare them to death?" Daniel jokes, Lewis and Lando immediately catching onto what she was doing.

"Just wait for it," Lando trails off.

A few moments later, Max chuckled at something Kelly said. He turned his head towards their section while his eyes searched, then immediately froze when he caught Y/N staring.

It was a look he knew all too well.

"You Dutch women are scary," Daniel chuckles while shaking his head. "How does he sense that?"

Lewis chuckles. "It's the face everyone fears on the grid. You just sense it before you know she's there. It's scary being on the receiving side of her stare."

Max's entire face fell, shame contorting into an ashamed expression. His expression soon hardened, then darkened fully when he caught Lando standing next to her. He was standing way too close for his liking.

What made Max drop everything he was doing, Kelly not even existing in his mind anymore, or in front of him for that matter, was seeing Lando's hand on her waist.

Max didn't even acknowledge Kelly after that moment, just leaving her mid-sentence as he made his way to the group.

Y/N stood her ground, not flinching as he got closer.

"Why're you near her?" Max's voice boomed as he got closer to Lando, but he almost tripped over his own feet when she stepped in front of Lando. His entire demeanor softens, but then goes to complete embarrassment as he meets her glare.

"He and I are fine. We sorted it out. Don't start," she explains. Max was about to argue with her. Until she raised her brows, as if saying, 'try me'. He huffs, not hesitating to nod at her words.

He then glares back at Lando. "You're still in deep shit with me," he points out, Lando pursing his lip with a nod.

"He's about to be in deeper shit," Daniel mumbles with a snort, Lewis smacking his arm hard. Max frowns as Y/N gives Daniel the same scary look.

"Not funny. Sorry."

"What's he mean?" Max asks.

"Doesn't matter," she rejects, shaking her head. "What were you and-"

"Don't change the subject, what're they talking about? What did Lando do?" he argues back.

Y/N shook her head. "We're not doing this here."

Max turns his gaze back to Lando, hardening as he looks. Lando leaned to Y/N before squeezing her side. "That's my cue," he says. "Good luck."

With that, Lando's pace quickens as he leaves the space while Y/N lets out an internal groan at Max. "Do you always have to go Mad Max on people?"

"When it comes to you, yes," he says with no hesitation in his tone. "Now what are those two talking about?"

She looks over at Daniel and Lewis for help, the two boys putting their hands up in defense. "I'm gonna go find Charles," Lewis says before leaving.

"I'm gonna get another drink," Daniel says, leaving shortly after Lewis.

She lets her mouth drop in awe, muttering a 'klootzakken' as she watches them leave.

Her gaze turned back up to Max, who stood towering over her. His look hard and only focused on her. She now very aware of how close he was.

"Let's go then, shall we?" he says, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

"Fine."

It wasn't long until they were outside of the venue, Max helping her into his car before shutting the door behind her and making his way over to his side.

The first few minutes in the car were silent, Max's jaw clenching as Y/N kept pinching at her wrists.

It didn't take an ounce of hesitation for Max to reach over with his free hand and lace it with hers. "Pinch it," he tells her, Y/N looking at him for a second before sighing.

"Why were you with her?" she asks softly, Max taking note of how defeated she sounded.

He didn't hesitate to answer. "She was telling me about P. How she was doing," he explains. "Then she told me how much her and P missed having me around."

That made her scoff. "Yeah, she misses using you for her advantage," she says more to herself, but loud enough for him to hear.

He smacks her thigh. "No need to be jealous, schat. Enough of that."

"I'm not jealous. Why does everyone think I'm jealous?" She groans, Max trying to hide the amused and smug smile on his face.

"Because you are. Your telltale signs aren't very discreet, honing."

"Because I'm not jealous," she scoffs, keeping her gaze out the window.

"So if I went home with her, you wouldn't have been upset with me?" he tests, making her movements on his hand stop. Max chuckles lightly to himself as he squeezes her hand.

"Exactly."

"Whatever."

Max frowns at her tone, turning to look at her for a second. "Hey, no. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Shut down," he says before looking back at the road. "I would never go home with her. She's not the one I want. She never was."

Y/N stays quiet, knowing she couldn't trust her emotions. Everything heightening as every moment passed.

It was quiet for another moment, before Max spoke up once more.

"So are you going to tell me what they were all talking about earlier?" he trails off.

"I don't think you're gonna want to hear that. Trust me," she chuckles while shaking her head.

"Try me, honing."

She huffs. "If I tell you, then you can't kill any of them. Not even Lando."

Y/N didn't miss the way his jaw clenched and eyes hardened at Lando's name, only nodding after. "You have my word."

She looks at him, her fingers playing with his hand once more.

"Are you in love with me?"

Her body is jolted forward in a harsh move, due to Max slamming on the brakes for a split second at her words. The tires are heard screeching as the car comes to a halt.

Y/N looks behind them, checking to make sure he didn't just accidentally brake-check someone. Taking the clear sign of no car honking behind him as the first hint, then seeing nobody was behind them for blocks.

She then whips her head over to Max, whose eyes are now wide with shock, one hand gripping the steering wheel while the other is now clutching onto her waist for safety.

"So I'm guessing by the reaction you just had that it's true," she says slowly, watching his face contort into all sorts of emotions.

He stayed silent, Y/N seeing his Adam's apple bob a few times before he began to accelerate the car once again. "Max," she says. He stays silent still. "Max Emilian."

"You weren't supposed to find out. Not like this at least."

She frowns at his words. "Elaborate, please? When was I gonna find out?"

She watched as he pursed his lips before biting them every so often.

"Max if you don't start talking-"

"I didn't want you to find out. Not with everything fresh with Lando," he admits, shaking his head as he pulls the car into the apartment garage. "I didn't want you thinking I was taking advantage of you when I just wanted to be there, just as much as you are with me."

Her face softened, seeing that it really was making him feel guilty. Seeing that she had to find out amid everything she had been dealing with for the last few weeks.

Before she can ask him anything further, he puts the car in park and whips his door open before closing it with a slam.

She doesn't miss the way he still makes his way around the car to her side, opening her door softly as he helps her out. She could tell he was ready to murder the boys, but he kept his composure around her.

They walked up to her apartment quietly, the tension rising as they got closer to her door. Y/N practically being able to feel Max's frustration radiate off his skin. She unlocked her door, walking inside as he followed shortly after.

He shuts the door behind him before huffing, his eyes looking to see Y/N standing there with her arms crossed. Her expression basically begging for answers.

Max rubs his forehead. "I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"Begin niet, Max." (Don't start, Max.)

He could tell by her tone that this wasn't the time to joke.

The man lets out a sigh, letting his eyes gaze into her own across the room. "Yes," he chokes out. "I'm in love with you. So in love that it hurts my chest."

Y/N lets her stance somewhat falter, her arms uncrossing. "Oh Max," she softly answers, seeing the pain in his eyes. Like he felt guilty for telling her.

"I have since the day you stood up for me at the Go-kart championship with my dad," he chuckles dryly to himself. "It was that day I told myself this girl has some spark in her. Playing with fire with no remorse. She's it for me," he half-heartedly jokes, but meaning every word. "I'm in love with you to the point where all I care about seeing is you happy. Even if that's not with me."

Her brows furrow. "What?"

He shrugs in defeat. "When Lando came to me after your first date with him, I could tell he was good for you. Same with you for him. Yeah it hurt like a fucking scooter to the ankle, but you were happy. That's what I cared about," he explains. "So if you two decide to fix things, and it makes you happy, then I'll be okay with that. I'll still probably give him a run for his money every so often, but if that's what you want."

Y/N was about to speak up, but then he says one more thing to her.

"I didn't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you. Of stealing you away after what you went through. I'm better than that, but I didn't like seeing you not be yourself. I hated it and hated him for that. I wanted to be there giving you the support and tough love you needed to heal and make the right decision," he admits once more. "So if he's still it for you, then I'll live with that. He just better not ruin his chances again."

Y/N stays silent for a moment, just in case he had anything further to say, soon seeing he was finished. She kept her arms crossed.

"You know, I have been fighting with myself all week. About going back to Lando. Working things out," she starts. Max feels his heart beat faster every second that passes. "But then there were small things I noticed. From not just these past few weeks, but the last decade. Little things you've done, no questions asked."

He just keeps his gaze on her. "When I was on the phone with Charles today, I came to the realization of why I've always been picky with my relationships," she says, laughing dryly to herself. "Because they weren't you."

Max feels his mouth open just slightly, as if giving him the lightest breath of fresh air from her words.

"Liefje." (Darling)

She nods, more to herself as if confirming it to her mind. She had feelings for Max. She wanted Max.

"I can't promise to jump into things right now," she adds. "But it doesn't mean I'm not willing to try seeing where this goes with you. I really want to. More than I think I can admit."

Max smiles are her softly. "I can work with slow."

She smiles at him as he advances towards her. He cautiously wraps his arms around her waist, watching her soften into his touch instead of freezing or jolting at it.

It was a work in progress.

"Can I at least kiss you? Or is that too fast?"

"Kus me maar, jij zachtaardige reus." (Kiss me, you gentle giant) she chuckles, watching his smile grow slowly as he leans in.

He didn't waste a second longer

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A/N: Ahhh, that's part three! How're we feeling? What's the vibe for everyone? Satisfied? Lemme know, I'm intrigued hehe!!

She's a long one, but she is here! I hope you all enjoyed!

I may or may not have an alternate ending for Lando in the works?? What do we think??

Vote below ;)

See you soon, friends!

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[paramountinplace]

could you do a fic about cg!lottie and little!nat? something like nat usually being more of a little kid when she’s regressed, but showing signs of slipping further? doing things like putting things in her mouth, getting fussy over little things, wanting to be held, etc etc. i can’t think of a specific prompt, but if you feel up to it, complete creative freedom haha (love your work btw! always so accurate to the characters and so entertaining)

Doesn't Take A Genius - Little!Nat

Summary: Nat's feeling a little younger than usual. Lottie's stumped, until she isn't. More notes at the end!

"Nat," Lottie murmurs, reaching out for the third time to pull the giraffe toy away from Nat's mouth. She's sitting on the couch, watching Nat play zoo (or maybe pet shop, she's not entirely sure) on the carpet in front of her. "Are you hungry, kiddo?"

She's half-talking to herself because Nat has hardly been responding to her questions all morning, communicating largely through nods and shrugs. It comes as a bit of a surprise, then, that Nat replies.

"No," she says firmly, shaking her head to emphasize. She repeats herself again, quieter, as she gets up on her knees to trot the giraffe over the tops Lottie's legs. The toy gets a ride down Lottie's shin, aided by a whooshing sound effect from Nat as it goes, before she parks it between Lottie's socked feet, where most of the other animals are lined up. Lottie hasn't been able to shift positions because every time she moves, Nat whines that she's going to ruin the animals.

"Well, if you get hungry, let me know," Lottie instructs gently. "I can get you something to chew on that isn't plastic and rubber."

Nat doesn't seem to be listening, humming to herself as she picks out a new toy. She takes the elephant on the journey up one of Lottie's shins before walking it over her knees and letting it slide down the other shin, repeating the process with a few different animals. She's using the horse when Lottie realizes the toy's made its way into Nat's mouth again and she decides she might have to put her foot down. Gently, if she can help it.

"Nat," she says. "If I see another toy in your mouth, we're gonna have to swap activities."

It makes Nat's eyes well up almost instantly and Lottie reels for a second, taken aback by how quickly Nat's entire face crumples. She hooks Nat under the arms and guides her upwards, helping her climb into her lap as she coos aimlessly.

"Hey, hey," she murmurs, "what's all this, kiddo?"

Nat's replaced the toy horse with her thumb and she babbles something unintelligible around it, tears still coming fast. She's not fully sobbing, just little hiccups occasionally, but Lottie's still confused and more than a bit concerned. She shifts to be able to cradle Nat against her chest a little better and it seems to work wonders. Nat's unsteady breathing calms quickly once her cheek is pressed to Lottie's chest and she nuzzles her nose against the fabric of Lottie's shirt with a small sigh. Lottie rocks them back and forth slightly, half for herself and half for Nat.

She settles back against the couch cushions, keeping her grip loose on Nat so that the girl can get up to keep playing if she chooses, but she doesn't move, seemingly content to stay in Lottie's lap. Lottie tries once to adjust Nat's thumb because she's not sure if she'd seen Nat wash her hands at all that morning, but it gets such a fierce whine that she gives up and returns to rubbing soothing circles on Nat's back instead.

Tai comes into the room after long, book tucked under one arm and balancing a mug and a bowl in each hand. Her face softens into a smile when she sees them and she sits carefully on the couch a few feet away, setting her things on the coffee table.

"Are we napping or just resting?" She asks, silently checking in if she's intruding on anything, like Nat needing a moment to herself. Lottie's pretty sure Nat's just fine, other than her newfound penchant for stuffing things in her mouth and crying whenever Lottie's more than a few paces away, so she gives Tai a bright smile.

"Just sitting," she replies, giving Nat a little bounce. It gets a giggle from the girl and she thumps her head against Lottie's shoulder.

"A'ain," she mumbles around her thumb and Lottie obeys, giving her another bounce. It gets another round of giggles before Nat is asking for it again, at which point she whispers that they can do more in a little, but she's going to talk to Tai super quick.

"Someone's a happy camper today," Tai says fondly, taking a long sip from her mug.

Lottie looks down at Nat, who has seemingly decided to occupy herself by twisting her fingers in Lottie's hair.

"Happy and small," she intones, proving herself right when Nat doesn't protest being called small. It's more of a Mari thing to defend her grown-up-ness, but Nat's been known to do it too. "At least, I think that's what's going on. Otherwise, we've got a hungry hungry kiddo on our hands."

"Hun'ry kiddo," Nat repeats, startling them both.

"Are you now?" Lottie asks. Nat shrugs, ducking her head as if to hide the fact that she's got her thumb in her mouth again. "She doesn't normally..."

Lottie trails off as she gazes down at Nat, finding herself a little lost in thought as her eyes trace over the soft curves of Nat's cheeks. She looks relaxed, Lottie realizes, more so that usual. Even small, Nat carries a certain amount of tension between her shoulders, a burden of responsibility that she can't quite seem to shake. It's quieter, smaller than the one Tai hefts, but it's there.

Nat squirms, tipping backwards so that her head is dangling over one of Lottie's arms and she's looking at Tai upside down. Tai sticks her tongue out playfully and Nat collapses into giggles again, picking her face up, now pink in the cheeks, to check if Lottie had seen.

"That was funny, huh, sweetheart?" She says, bracing herself when Nat tips backwards again to do it once more.

"She doesn't," Tai agrees, referring to Lottie's earlier statement. "But she's also not normally so...carefree."

Nat pushes her feet into the sofa and Lottie's arm gives out, sending Nat toppling against the cushions, which only seems to make her giggle harder. She wiggles around until she can reach one of the throw pillows and grabs at it, squealing when Tai's hand darts out to snatch it away.

"What's different now?" Lottie asks Tai, opening her arms to catch the pillow Tai tosses at her over Nat's head. She gets an armful of both pillow and Nat as the girl launches herself at Lottie to try getting the pillow back. She laughs, catching Nat around the waist and twisting so that she thunks gently against the couch cushion. Nat pops back up instantly, hair mussed and grin wide as she makes another grab for the throw pillow. Lottie lets her have it this time, but Nat seems tuckered out already and chooses to lay it down in Lottie's lap so that she can put her head atop it, sprawling out.

Tai shrugs, taking a bite of her yogurt.

"Quiet house, nothing to do today," she begins listing. "You've been taking care of her all day, so she's feeling safe and happy."

Lottie ducks her head. Tai always goes for the subtle praise. Hidden within her words though, is Lottie's answer to why seemingly out of nowhere, Nat's gone much younger than they're used to. She's quiet in Lottie's lap now, gazing up at the ceiling and Lottie puts a hand through her hair gently. In contrast to most of the other girls, as a general rule, the more spooked Nat is, the older she'll feel. It's not a constant, but Nat's need to feel like she can protect herself often wins out over the urge to let someone else step up for her.

"When'd you get so smart?" She teases Tai. Nat's eyes flutter shut and she shifts to press her face into Lottie's stomach, blocking the sunlight pouring into the room from her eyes. Tai snorts, leaning back with her mug.

"It doesn't take a genius to put Nat feeling safe and Nat feeling younger together," she deadpans. Lottie rolls her eyes, but there's something happy bouncing around in her chest that's keeping her from getting too annoyed with Tai.

"Oh, hush," she retorts, wincing when Nat whines in her lap at the volume. She lowers her voice. "Sorry, sorry."

Tai doesn't say anything, smile still playing across her lips as she opens her book and buries her nose in it. Lottie occupies herself by counting the hairs on Nat's head that stayed oddly blonde after she stopped bleaching it as Tai reads and Nat dozes, limbs flung out comfortably.

She doesn't even stir when Mari bangs into the room with Shauna close behind, hushing her.

"Sorry," Shauna whispers. She grabs Mari's shoulder and points to a sleeping Nat. Mari's mouth forms a little 'o' and she puts a finger up to her mouth, shushing herself.

"It's okay," Lottie says quietly, after they've all waited a beat to see if Nat will jolt awake. When she doesn't, Shauna makes a surprised face.

"That's new," she murmurs, almost to herself.

Lottie nods along.

"She's either faking sleep or...or she's really really chill right now."

Her voice is so soft she's not sure if Shauna will even hear her, but the brunette nods, something like awe painted across her face.

"We'll let you be then," she intones. "Mar, let's have a snack, pal."

They creep out of the room again and satisfied that Nat isn't going to fly awake in a panic, Lottie lets her head fall back against the couch cushions, feeling sleepy by proxy.

"Sleep, Lot," Tai murmurs, voice floating up into the sunlight. Lottie figures she may as well take advantage of the quiet while she can and the weight of Nat's head in her lap is soothing, almost like a blanket.

"Wake me if Nat gets up," she orders, already feeling herself drifting.

"Something tells me I won't need to."

Tai smirks when she realizes she's talking to herself because Lottie, in record time, has dropped off to sleep. It's a cute sight, Nat curled up in her lap as Lottie dozes ungracefully with her head tipped back, and she finds herself wishing she had a camera on hand.

Maybe she can ask Shauna when she passes through again.

Not sure if this is exactly what you were going for, anon, but I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for your comment about characterization as well!

[torturedbrat]

Her arms were just like two angel wings enveloping my body, her voice like velvet when she called my name, while I brought her into immense pleasure.

She reached to hold my face in her hands and she smiled; a simple gesture that ran a million sparks through me—she whispered something, almost unintelligible, but it made me close my eyes..

From one moment to another, her thumb slipped into my mouth; my brain melting the moment I felt the slight touch of her skin on my tongue. It wasn't even sexual, it was intimate—my hands roaming around her body, trying to touch somewhere, anywhere I could reach.. it was almost instictual, like I couldn't stop myself, I needed to have her, to feel her; her body under my hands.

I worked my way to her hips, just like in my fantasies—where I'd make her back arch as I pulled down the thin clothing that hugged her, that last piece till I unveil heaven.

I lay myself between her legs, on my stomach, and I start to think that's right where I belong—that my whole purpose is to be right there. I sink my head down, and I feel how the muscles of her legs tense up with my breath, just from a simple breath.

My thumb and my index moved her skin apart, exposing her already swollen clit which nearly spoke to me with the way it throbbed; my tongue darted out to delicately lick the bud, just right above the most sensitive spot.. she moaned my name, and my gaze laid upon her face again—my lips tempted a smile as I mouthed; "God, I love you." and that's when I sank my tongue deep inside of her, there was no time wasted.

I soon felt her legs trying to close around me, suffocating me against her core but I never pulled back, I'm not trying to get away from the tough love she provides me, I let her move my head wherever she wants it to be, pull it closer.. I'd do whatever I can to make her feel her best; my fingers also move to stimulate her at the same time—I gasp from lack of air, her hand gripping a few copper-locks of hair on the back of my head, as my tongue slides in and out of her hole continuously; and I want to devour her, keep going till she goes completely numb under me, till she's empty.

She looks down at me, those half lidded eyes that tell me she's completely satisfied.. I can't help the need to whimper, since I wasn't able to hold back—touching myself the whole time I've been eating her out, my panties totally drenched.

Her hand comes down to brush the hair away from my face after I'm done with her, and she had that smug look that lets me know exactly what she's thinking.. it never fails to make my face flush, hiding it onto the soft skin of her stomach. "No one makes me feel like you do." Those words, that simple remark that always made my heart stop—I spread kisses from the pit of her stomach to her neck, taking my time to relish the taste of her, that being my response to her sweet affirmation.

I get closer to devour her lips, and I can feel her knee pressing where I need it the most; my lips parting and immediately making room for her tongue to meet mine, moaning in between our kiss. "What a pretty girl." She purrs as one of her hands move down to my throat, imprisoning me—and the other, it holds my waist as I move against her leg, the friction causing my breath to quicken.

My eyes close, the damp spot of my underwear leaking onto her leg, my fingers moving down to push them aside, revealing my aching pussy, screaming for a release—her soft touch made me throw my head back as soon as she pulled me closer by the waist, that's when I started moving my hips with more conscience.

I heard those sounds coming from her again, and they only made me want to keep going; to make her come undone all over again.

I'm making a mess all over her, we're both grinding on each other's leg and I only can think of how good this feels, how good it feels to be hers.. forever. "Baby.. I'm gonna come." I warn her in a whisper, as I feel her hands practically squeezing me, holding onto me, so close to her.

Needy moans filled the room, the heat being unbearable at this point, we're both sweating and I think I'm going to take my last breath right there as I reach my climax—and so she did as well, one sharp whimper that let me know she had been driven right to the very edge.

I don't have the strength to move off her, I don't need to.. we're still holding each other as tight as before—she kisses my jaw, and then right up to my cheek, where she whispers that I'm hers, over and over again.

[coolwyous]

okay while the maphinz block of the anon neighbourhood is my residence, like that is home, i do like to take strolls outside every once in awhile….and have some Thoughts about hockey!dani. i completely see how divorce kind of makes sense for her, but i have questions (un)fortunately. how long was reader thinking abt the divorce before actually serving her papers? do you think a heads-up-adjacent conversation could’ve helped dani snap out of it—the realisation that she might actually lose reader fr? what does an exes-to-lovers arc look like for them? lil esme parent trapping her stubborn parents seems like a cute idea. and dani would be such an obnoxious ex to have oh my god, imagine esme mentioning offhandedly and by mistake that mami is on a date and dani completely losing her cool?? god all ur fics and hcs have soooo much JUICE i love it I LOVE IT

- hell n back anon

welcome to the hockey!dani house of divorce! u have thoughts i have LOTS of answers <333

i think reader had probably tried lots of approaches, in dani's fic i wrote reader to be a lil more direct/confrontational than the previous two dittoverse y/n's. sitting down, having talks, being very explicit about "this needs to change because it's hurting everyone, stop it, i love you" but i also know that dani x reader in this verse have always been a tiny bit toxic! like look at their situationship and tell me that was perfectly healthy...... 😔 i feel like maybe divorcing had been thrown around once or twice when dani was really acting up and that always snapped her back to reality, so when it came up again this time in this context of "you need to get your emotions together, i'm not going to do this with you forever" esp after esme was born i think dani was now desensitized to that threat? she was like "yeah i will, relax" and you're like "i'm serious daniela, i mean it this time" but you guys have a kid together now! so maybe dani didn't take it as seriously as she should have, assumed it was just another rough patch and she had time to figure it out as she always has. but your daughter is also the reason why you wouldn't give dani that time— it's one thing to fight just the two of you, but another thing to be arguing with your little girl able to hear it through the walls.

i think once the divorce had settled and esme was a little older, dani never once wanted esme to feel like she was a pawn between them. but esme's smart and recognizes that you guys still care!! esme asking you both to come to one of her hockey games and you guys agree but you want to sit separately, esme gives you those big puppy eyes and begs that you sit together. invites you both to come to parent-teacher night.

in terms of the parent trap, i feel like esme is a little less devious and truly just wants you guys to be together, maybe she mentions something to the hockey!kids one day when they're all at a playdate (they're like 5-7 yrs old mind you) and some of the more "creative" kids come up w a plan??? "esme you gotta break your leg so they come to the hospital for you" is josie's idea, kj (husseyz's daughter) is like "oh the more blood the better," priya HARD vetoes that, zuri suggests she starts making them jealous of each other??? arin (purinz's daughter) is like "oh that's perfect, esme everyone knows your dad is super emotional" and esme is like "uhhhh i'm not really sure how to do that." so the girls all brainstorm how to get esme to drop hints about you going on dates! and when dani comes to pick her up from the playdate, esme follows the script to start implying that you have a date tonight which you don't! one of your coworkers just invited you to drinks but it's totally not a date!!!

so guess what! you're at the restaurant that evening when all of a sudden you're like hm. why does that super cute little girl across the table from us look just like my daughter! and my ex-wife! surprise! "papi took us on a date, look mami!" esme would beam so excitedly, in her cute little dress, and you just smile and glare up at dani like "wow, how did you possibly manage to end up at the same restaurant as us?" and dani just has that shit eating grin and goes "lucky guess." as if she didn't start interrogating esme about all the details of your date tonight! you try to keep your evening going but you're literally facing their table and all you can see is dani being such a sweet parent, helping esme cut her food, the two of them cracking up at their table..... and dani is dressed up!!! you don't want to admit it but she looks amazing...... you've def stopped listening to whatever your date-not-date is rambling on about bc daniela keeps stealing looks up at you from across the room.....

don't ask how you end up ditching your date at the end of the night to go get ice cream w dani and esme..... the three of you signing to each other bc esme loves being able to talk to you both in sign language! she's holding each of your hands in between signing, her in the middle, while dani holds her ice cream cone..... esme can't stop rambling so excitedly about whatever is happening at school, how hockey is going, the latest crazy thing her friends have gotten up to, and you realize she's trying to make the most of the both of you being in one place since she's always having to go back and forth between you both :( she gets sleepy by the end of the night and dani ends up swooping her up to carry her and your heart is thudding watching her cradle your exhausted daughter so carefully....... you guys end up making small talk before the conversation keeps evolving into reminiscing about your college days, dani says something stupid like "damn, remember how in love we were?" and you just shake your head, the memory of everything you've gone through together breaking your heart. and she just sort of gently goes "i really fucked that all up. i promise i won't fuck her up too" motioning to esme in her arms, fast asleep.... you won't let her back in, not that easily, but you can feel your walls coming down for her, glimpses of the old determined dani coming back in flashes, wondering to yourself if you can trust her this time around.....

[syrupfog]

If Trafalgar Law is confident of one thing, it’s that Luffy saved his life.

If Trafalgar Law is confident of anything else, it’s that he loves Luffy more than he’d ever willingly admit.

And if Trafalgar Law is a bit uncertain about anything else, well…

Can you blame him?

The fact that they’ve been dating for three years doesn’t change the fact that Law is a little surprised every morning to find that he is, actually and for real, STILL dating the king of the pirates. It’s absurd. It feels like a fantasy.

He often chalks this up to the fact that, with each of them having their own crews and ships, they don’t get to spend THAT much time with one another. Not enough for Luffy to get tired of him, at any rate. It’s a blessing in disguise.

Still, even with that thought rattling around in the back of his head, Law would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about proposing. Dreamed about marriage. Fantasised about an old fashioned Flevian ceremony.

At least, he does right up until he gets a harsh wake up call.

“So, who’s going to be the one to propose?”

Law stops in his tracks, his hand hovering over the door handle to enter the lounge in the base of the ship. He recognizes Usopp’s voice beyond the door, and he knows who else is down there.

“Propose?” Luffy asks, sounding nonplussed.

“Yeah,” Usopp says. “You’ve been dating three years now, haven’t you? Aren’t you gonna put a ring on it?”

There’s a pregnant silence. Law should announce himself, or leave. He shouldn’t stand frozen like this.

And then Luffy scoffs. “I’m not gonna MARRY Traffy,” he says.

And that, well. That hurts. A lot.

“You’re—“ Usopp stutters. “You’re not?”

“Of course not,” Luffy says, like this is an obvious thing. Like he’s not shattering Law’s heart. “Why would I MARRY him?”

“Uh,” says Usopp, sounding very much out of his depth.

“Well. You love him, right?”

There’s another pregnant silence. Law can picture Luffy’s thinking face; the one he makes when things don’t add up.

“Not like THAT,” he says, eventually.

Law backs up. There’s a rushing in his ears; he doesn’t think he could listen to more.

After ascending to the brig, he turns and flees toward his bunk— the one he uses when he’s on this ship for more than a night. His crew are off in the Tang for a week in pursuit of a golden sea beast. Law’s stuck here in the open ocean without them.

Granted, Law’s bunk is Luffy’s bunk. And that’s usually exactly what he wants. But as he crawls under the covers and tries to block out the light as if he can convince himself this is a dream, the scent of Luffy that pervades the space is suffocating.

It’s. It’s fine, though. Law scrubs at his eyes and forces himself to think rationally. Luffy doesn’t want to marry him. That’s fine. He still seems willing to date him. That’s good. Nothing about them needs to change. Nothing about them is different than it was this morning.

(Except it is, it IS, because Luffy doesn’t WANT him like that, doesn’t want him in the way Law wants LUFFY, and Law has always suspected this but to hear it said is a different sort of pain).

(And Law had grown too comfortable in his happiness).

Luffy doesn’t come looking for him until well after Law has descended into a paralysing spiral of loathing. The kind he hasn’t done in years, not since that defeat at the hands of BlackBeard.

Luffy climbs on top of him in the bunk, feet and elbows finding his more delicate organs with precision.

“Traffy,” Luffy says. “Do you have a stomachache? Did you eat that weird bird Zoro caught yesterday that Jinbei said could cause shee-jures?”

Law grunts as he gets another elbow to his solar plexus. “No,” he says, physically grappling Luffy into stillness next to him. “I’m just tired, Lu-ya.”

“Oh,” says Luffy. Then, “Why? Did you have nightmares without me noticing? I usually notice.”

And he DOES, is the thing. He always notices. And he helps. And he’s kind about it. And Law wanted to MARRY him, wanted to be able to hold that promise of staying by his side. Wanted this comfort forever.

What a fool.

“Yeah,” Law says. “Nightmares. Sorry Lu-ya, you slept like the dead last night.”

“Oh,” says Luffy. Then, “Huh.” Then, “Well you should sleep again and I’ll be here so you don’t have nightmares this time.”

This is a hellish thing to offer, because Law knows Luffy will immediately get bored and start messing with things. “It’s fine,” Law says. “You were going to do that fishing competition with Brook today, weren’t you? Go do that, I’ll just sleep some more while you do.”

It’s distressingly easy to distract him sometimes.

“Oh yeah!” Luffy says, jumping up. “I was gonna catch a whale shark!”

Law makes a shoo-ing motion with his hand. “Go on,” he says. “Kick his ass.”

Luffy laughs. “No nightmares this time, okay!” He shouts as he runs out.

Law doesn’t promise him, but he does smile a little as he watches Luffy go.

He loves him.

He just has to come to terms with the fact that Luffy doesn’t love him back the same way.

Law is with the Sunny another six days.

He does not, in this time, come to terms with this knowledge.

No, one could say he instead just gets increasingly more miserable.

It’s very obvious. Everyone notices. Even Luffy.

Law starts snapping at them (more than usual). He avoids one-on-one time with Luffy. He hides in Franky’s workshop and Robin’s library (not Nami’s map room, she’s too pushy when she’s nosy).

He gets sadder. Every time he sees Luffy again, he gets progressively more despondent.

Until, the day they’re supposed to meet up with his crew, Nami gets a call on the transponder snail.

“Traffy!” she calls, walking into the galley during breakfast. “Your crew called. They were sent off course yesterday from a nasty storm so it sounds like they’re three days out”

“Shit,” says Law.

“Aww thats okay, you’ve barely spent any time with me!” Luffy says through a mouthful of pancakes. “This just means we can have more time together!”

And Law, snappish and miserable by now, says, “You don’t WANT that!”

Luffy blinks. “Yes i do,” he says.

Law, realising what he’s said, composes himself. “Sorry, you’re right.” His fork is in a death grip in his hand. “Of course you do. Yes. Thank you, Nami.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “No problem…”

Luffy ALSO narrows his eyes at him. “You’re being weird,” he says.

“I’m a grumpy person,” Law snaps. “I’m always like this, thanks for noticing.”

Luffy frowns. “No you’re not,” he says. There’s a hush falling across the table. Everyone is here except Chopper. “You’re always grumpy but it’s usually a happy grumpy. Why aren’t you happy grumpy?”

“Happy grumpy isn’t a thing,” Law says. “Eat your pancakes.”

“NO,” shouts Luffy, eliciting quiet gasps around the table. “You’re going to tell me what’s wrong!”

“Or WHAT?” Law asks, pushing his plate away.

The feeling of security, of always having Luffy’s love to come home to, is gone. He suddenly feels unsure of the outcome of any fight. If Luffy doesn’t want to marry him, does he even want to stay with him? How hard would it be to push Luffy past his breaking point?

“Or—“ Luffy pauses, eyebrows knitted together, his laser-sharp gaze locked on Law’s face. Law HATES when he does this, when it feels like he’s being stripped bare, like Luffy can see every part of him. All the vile, disgusting parts.

The parts that, this time around, are so full to BURSTING with love for Luffy. Adoration. Admiration. Desire. Homesickness when they’re apart. He feels so sure that Luffy can see it all, can see how pathetically in love Law is, how much more love Law has to give than Luffy does.

Law suddenly wants to cry.

Luffy doesn’t finish his threat. He stands up, silently, and reaches over, grabbing the collar of Law’s shirt in his fist and hauling him out of the room.

Everyone else watches them go in abject awkward silence.

Law lets himself get pulled across the ship, dragging his feet until they end up down in the lounge where this all started. Luffy forces him to sit on the sofa and then sits HIMSELF firmly in Law’s lap.

He grabs Law’s cheeks in both (syrup-sticky) hands.

“NOW you tell me what’s wrong,” he says.

“No,” says Law, his face slightly squished. He doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to deal with it all.

“I’m going to— punch you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” Luffy says.

“Fine,” says Law. That sounds good, actually.

And Luffy does, too. It would have had more effect if he weren’t also sitting in Law’s lap; all he managed to do is get the both of them sprawled across the sofa, Law gasping for breath after an impressively hard punch to the sternum.

“NOW tell me,” says Luffy.

“Punch me again,” says Law.

“No!”

“Why NOT?”

“Because that’s not the kind of love you get!”

Law blinks back tears. Luffy’s looming over him, looking more upset than Law thinks he has a right to.

“Then why’d you do it the first time?” Law asks, exasperated.

“Because you told me to,” Luffy says. “And I want you to have what you want.”

Law groans, throwing his head back. “Well I don’t get to HAVE what I want,” he says. “So just forget it.”

Luffy scrunches his nose. “So you WANT something.”

“We all want something, Lu-ya.”

“I don’t,” says Luffy. “I have everything I wanted.” He plants his palms firmly on Law’s chest. “But YOU want something. And I’m going to help you get it.”

“No you’re not,” Law says. The fight is going out of him. The adrenaline of the punch is leaving and he’s tired.

“Yes I am, just tell me what it is,” Luffy says. “I’m the king of the pirates, I can do it!”

“You CANT because what I want is something you DONT want,” Law snaps. “And so it won’t work! That’s fine! Forget it!”

Luffy growls. “Shut up! Just tell me what it is!”

“Fine!” Law shouts. “I want to fucking MARRY you, okay? And you don’t want me like that, so it’s FINE! You see? You can’t help me! Just forget I said it and move on!”

Law looks pointedly away, tears gathering in his eyes. He assumes this is the end of their relationship.

That was the whole point of NOT telling him, but of course Law has never been good at that.

He waits, staring resolutely at a corner of the fish tank, until Luffy says, “but that’s stupid.”

“What?” asks Law. “No it’s not!”

"Yeah it is!” Luffy says. “People don’t get married because they’re in love! Only people who hate each other get married!”

This is possibly the most insane thing Luffy has ever said.

Law, cheeks wet, turns and looks at him. “Wh—“ he squints. “WHAT?”

Luffy rolls his eyes. “Duh,” he says. “Like Pudding and Sanji. They hated each other. Or Sabo— his parents tried to make him get married to some ugly girl who didn’t want him to hang out with us. People don’t get married unless they hate each other.”

“Lu-ya,” Law says slowly. “My parents were married.”

Luffy makes a face. “So they hated each other too.”

Law remembers the dancing in the kitchen and sharing bites of chocolate cake. He remembers the look his dad would give his mom when she fell asleep on the sofa.

“No,” he says. “They loved each other. So much.”

Law pauses. He thinks. “You’re not thinking of marriage,” he says slowly. “You’re thinking of ARRANGED marriages.”

“Uh yeah, they’re all arranged, Traffy. How else would you even get one?”

“One of us would… ask the other,” Law says slowly. “Because HAPPY marriages happen when both people WANT to be married. Like— Bege and Chiffon. They’re married.”

“Who?” Luffy asks.

Yeah, that tracks.

“Like—“ Law wracks his brain. “Oden and Toki.”

Luffy gives him a blank look.

“Like MY PARENTS,” Law snaps.

Luffy blinks. “Oh,” he says.

‘He’s getting it,’ Law thinks.

“So happy marriages are a FLEVANCE thing,” Luffy says.

Law is impressed Luffy remembered the name Flevance.

“Yes,” he says. “They’re a Flevance thing.”

“Okay,” Luffy says with a nod. “We can get Flevance married, then.”

Law stares at him. “We… can?” He asks.

“Yeah,” says Luffy. “That’s your dream, isn’t it? As long as we don’t get REGULAR married. Cause we don’t hate each other.”

“…Right,” says Law.

This is not the kind of proposal Law was expecting.

But. Really. What kind of proposal WOULD he have expected? From Luffy?

“Hey Lu-ya,” Law says. “Will you Flevance Marry me?”

“Duh,” says Luffy. “I just said that.” He pauses. “Does this mean we can have a feast?”

“Yes,” says Law. “But kiss me first, before you go tell Sanji.”

(This is a trick he has learned over the years— that Luffy IS about to run off and this IS law’s last chance for a while).

(It only has a fifty percent success rate).

Luffy leans down and gives Law the most god-awful kiss that’s part peck-on-the-lips part deep-throat-rubber-tongue. He loves kissing like this. Law hates it. But he does love Luffy.

And Luffy’s going to Flevance-marry him. So he’ll put up with the godawful kissing.

Then Luffy’s weight disappears from his chest as he takes off running out of the room. “Sanji!!” he yells as he goes. “You gotta make a cake!! I’m gonna get Flevance married!!!”

Law lays on the sofa in a daze.

He’s gonna get Flevance married too.

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

Way and Pete are lesbian coded and I just need ya’ll to stop messaging me weird disclaimers about my hot take. I report it like I see it.

Pete has always been serving up rich soft butch vibes with his respectful distances and old fashioned pick up moves at bar too expensive to be crowded, drinking from crystal glasses. He’s a “waiter, the lady’s drink’s on me” type, like he was raised watching black and white movies. He’s gonna hold doors open for you and casually show off his wealth (let’s go to my private pool or let me skirt you away to a foreign country for the weekend). The fact that he made his moves on his girl over a pool table is about as lesbian as you can get. Even if you’re rich, some things are universally lesbo and flirting badly over a pool table is one of them.

Way! Don’t get me started with Way. There is nothing more lesbian than getting obsessed with another lesbian - in particular getting fixated on someone that absolutely will never work out. There is an idolization phase - where you get attached to someone you subconsciously aspire to be. This is especially true when young but can happen any time. Thus a pillow princess can be insanely in love with another pillow princess despite the fact they’d come to a stand still pretty quickly in bed or at least be annoyed and dissatisfied with each other if they actually dated. Reality is not welcome in this lesbian hyperfixation, though. That bitch will burn down a building to keep other people from getting close to her mirror and that was pretty much Way’s entire storyline season one.

Chris (also Way probably) is even MORE lesbian. They’ve come back from graduate school and have found their footing in the gay community. They’ve given up on the stereotype aspirations (of being a Babe type) and settled into whatever brand of dyke they truly are. In Chris’s case, a nerdy sulky type who knows his body is a prize and probably goes across town to work out in a gym because he likes to have the aura of someone naturally and magically muscular. He is obsessed with his body and yet kinda hates that about himself so he’ll passive-aggressively take it out on his lovers by flaunting his goods but being disdainful of their interest. He is still someone who hasn’t quite connected all their pieces yet and until he stops compartmentalizing himself he’ll never be able to feel loved, even if he is loved. This all stems from deep rooted insecurities that are obvious and thus embarrassing to deal with as he prides himself on being a smart person.

Luckily for Chris/Way, he has entered the romantic headspace of a deeply old school romantic lesbian. Pete is not gonna run around nervously worrying over him or spend a bunch of time and effort trying to woo him. Pete knows his worth.

Like many lesbians who actually have their lives in order, they attract many many chaotic elements into their gravitation pull, who will then orbit around them forever. These people are now in your system and you have to monitor them and keep up with them and help them all out - liquid, solid, gas, big or small, with many moons or just an infrequent comet gliding by. You are the sun. It’s not a power trip or an ego thing, it’s just nature.

So your crazy bullshit is nothing new to him. He’s seen it all before in a thousand variations inside his sphere of influence. But now it’s HIS and it’s kinda nice to feel the excitement of it. He’s enjoying this much more than he likes to admit to himself. And yeah you are shady and clearly playing a game and chaotic - but honestly that’s endearing to Pete-types. His leash is long and Chris doesn’t even realize he’s already bound by it.

Listen Pete is not inhuman, his feelings can be hurt. But he’s not gonna be immobilized over it, like Babe who can spend a week dramatically drinking and pining in his big house. Pete’s got stuff to do. His world will never be shattered by losing a lover. He’ll put a post it on a picture frame and allow himself to feel wistful and sad a few minutes a day while he’s on his way to other tasks.

And crazy Chris will never get his shit entirely together. Emotionally he’ll always be battling inner demons and fucking things up, tearing down a wall, running away, slinking back, and Pete is always gonna be there.

People are who they are. And these two are sooooo perfect for each other.

Hmmm hmmm. It’s delicious.

Anyways, I rest my case.

They are lesbians, your honor.