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yuri-is-online · 2 years

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When He Sees Me: Azul Ashengrotto

a/n: this is supposed to be part of a series about the boys who start out with a less than good opinion of Yuu falling in love with them anyway. Azul wasn't supposed to be first he was just the most cooperative. I will add a link to the rest when they become available, but it will take a while because this is really fucking long. Like 6,261 words long.

notes: SPOILERS FOR CH. 3 AND AZUL'S BACKSTORY. Azul is thirsty for Yuu, nothing explicit just mild mild spice. They/them pronouns used for Yuu, but there is a reference to things "girls find attractive" that isn't meant to be aimed at Yuu and discussion of the myth of Princess Kaguya. Morons in mutual denial/pining, references to the events of Azul's labwear and Ruggie's ceremonial robes vignette. Edit: other fics can be found on my masterlist here.

Azul has always been a dreamer, in both senses of the word. When he wants, he wants with intensity that borders on insanity, it is only natural for those thoughts to invade his dreams. When he was younger his subconscious would engage in a painful loop of equally impossible scenarios, sometimes positive but mostly extremely, horribly negative. They read more like memories being played on a sickening repeat, harassments and insults that he can’t run or hide from because his dream won’t let him move at all. Now that he’s older he seldom has those dreams, tucking the hurts away behind mountains of successful plans for the future. Tucked away but not dealt with, his overblot clearly proved that. Azul is no stranger to having dreams, no, but lately he has been experiencing something new. A dream that plays on repeat, never changing but with an underlying feel to it that makes him think if he just had a bit more imagination he could direct the flow. It is a memory, sort of like those other, painful dreams though this one doesn’t hurt quite the same, less painful and more… pining.

He’s standing in front of the photos at the Atlantica Memorial Museum, eyes steady on the photographs. “You have talent.” the Ramshackle prefect says with such enviable confidence. “You are amazing as it is, even without stealing anyone else’s powers.” He looks at them, he searches desperately for the lie, for so long he misses the timing for his line but the dream keeps playing yours. “You work so hard, determination is much harder to master than magic.”

“You think that?” he asks, begs really because in this dream he gets to wrap himself up and live in this moment where someone sees him as his subconscious plays your words on loop.

“You have talent… You are amazing… You matter…”

He rises from slumber, but doesn’t wake.

“Nyaaah who does Azul think he is!” Grim whines and you sigh, for what feels like the eight hundredth time but is probably just the third. “He can’t just scam us outta money like that!” You give a noncommittal grunt and Grim takes his grumbling to under his breath where it belongs while you ruminate on the morning’s events on your way back to Ramshackle. You had woken up to Azul knocking on your door with a photograph of Grim… fighting with Lucius? You weren’t entirely clear on the details, Grim stole some food or something you couldn’t really care less, but Professor Trien certainly would, which was the point Azul had made with a smile on his face and an outstretched hand. He needed a “small favor” he said, just follow him to Ignihyde and help him and Idia out with a project Idia was working on. He tried spinning it to you as helping out Ortho, which hey you did care about, let it not be said that the prefect of Ramshackle did not care about sweet little Ortho Shroud. You just… didn’t trust Azul as far as you could throw him, so when the part he asked Grim to retrieve was revealed to be worth a gajillion thaumarks you were not surprised and you did not care. Grim, of course, freaked out and the two older students laughed at him. Laughed at you both really, and sent you back to your dorm with a can of tuna for Grim’s trouble and a coupon to the Monstro Lounge for yours.

That you decided as you stared down at the little golden ticket, did piss you off. You were tempted to light it on fire, but that stupid part of your brain that got excited when you heard laundry detergent was on sale at Sam’s wouldn’t let you. Like you would offend and be permanently cursed by the gods of couponing if you did; so you tucked it away in your wallet and ran through the list of students you didn’t currently want to beat with a steel chair for someone who would actually use it. “Hey prefect, you got a moment?”

“Ruggie.” You snap out of your thoughts to see an angel standing outside Ramshackle’s door. He looks at you a little confused, but still peppy.

“That’s my name! Now as I was sayin, you got a moment? I’ve got an opportunity for you.”

~~~~

In a game of chess the player who moves first has an inherent advantage. That advantage, however, is not absolute which is something Azul is cruelly reminded of when RUGGIE BUCCHI waltzes into his restaurant, whistling, with his carefully played opening in his hands. “Hey, is this thing real? Prefect said you gave it to them but that sounds fishy. Why would Azul be giving out things for free?”

“That’s confidential.” he pushes up his glasses and Ruggie simply leans back on his heels, hands behind his head grinning like a well fed cat. “What I am anxious to know is why you have it? It was not meant for you.”

“What’s it to ya’?” he has enough sense to keep his annoying laugh to himself but it’s echoing in Azul’s ears anyway. His gaze flickers to Floyd, weighing the pros and cons of involving the twins in this… admittedly private affair but that seems to be enough for Ruggie. He drops the easy going act, “No seriously what is it you’re trying to do, they seemed seriously pissed.”

“Who says I’m trying to do anything?” Anger was… not the reaction he was expecting but the look on Ruggie’s face is making him feel especially like he should have. Like there was something incredibly obvious he was missing here. His sigh just punctuates that.

“Because you're Azul.” He says flatly. “Look it’s not my business and I don’t want it to be, are you gonna give me a free drink or not.” Azul takes the coupon with his best customer service smile and tries to make another plan.

~~~~

“You are amazing.” He gets to look at them this time, see their honest admiration. He wants to reach for it, hold it up to the light and admire it from every possible angle. His hand moves, agonizingly slow like he’s reaching through jelly, desperate for purchase as it lands on their cheek, running his thumb along the curve. Azul is a merfolk, utterly unaware of what it feels like to drown. But he surrenders himself to the tide as he guides them closer, closer, to him and the realization he never wants to let go.

Azul wakes up alone and upset, a good thirty minutes before his alarm which just adds to his frustrations. He fumbles for his glasses and goes for the safe next to his bed, if he’s awake he can work, he should work it will take his mind off of… whatever this is. It isn’t important, his bad dreams always fade away over time, he will conquer this, he has to. A notification lights up his phone. It’s from magicam, from Cater who he usually ignores but he opens it anyway. The post is a dump of short videos of Heartslabyul students messing around in the maze, there was an unbirthday party yesterday complete with pastries and those weird games he never understands the appeal of no matter how many times Riddle explains. There’s Trey posing like a middle aged man with his flamingo, Cater running around conducting mock interviews with the flowers, and a number of students making nonsensical toasts with admittedly nice looking china. And in the final video, if he pauses it at exactly 7.23 seconds there’s the prefect. They look clueless, disappointed even as they watch Grim demand he be allowed to play croquet, it’s cute but that’s not where his gaze goes. Tiramisu. It’s difficult, painful even to make, but they seem to be enjoying their slice. It really would be an excellent item to add to the Monstro Lounge’s limited time menu for numerous reasons completely unrelated to… whatever this feeling was. If he keeps the paused video up and next to his paperwork while he draws up his plans, no one needs to know.

~~~~

You wake up with a sneeze a good two hours before your alarm and if you were actually awake you have no doubt the timing would fill you with righteous fury. The moon still peaks through your window, soothing your hypothetical temper slightly as you meander out of your bed towards it. Ramshackle has always been a good place to watch the stars, at least according to Tsunotarou. You’ve always been more partial to the moon, there was something comforting about its constant presence. No matter where you went in your old world, even if the constellations changed the moon would always stay the same. If you focus on this one’s shape, if you ignore the snoring monster in your bed or the shape of the window you’re looking through, you can almost trick yourself into thinking that things are still the same. That you will get back to sleep and see your loved ones when you wake up tomorrow. A strange bile builds up in your throat and you turn away from the window towards your desk. The photographs that decorate it are filled with things that should be impossible. Leona standing on a flying broom somehow bored out of his mind, Jack and Deuce posing at a track practice, Ace trying to teach Grim a card trick, but if you were giving awards for the most out of place… There’s eight people in the photo, three humans, one monster, one beastman, and three merfolk, but only two sport tails. Azul looks exactly the same as the day you met him, dressed in a neatly pressed dorm uniform with that stupid hat covering his beautiful, perfect hair. You can’t decide what’s more unreal to you, the Leech twins' appearance or the location of the photograph, but well they sort of go hand in hand don’t they? Your eyes settle on Azul. He had refused to show his true form during the trip, if you didn’t know any better you would assume he was human like you but not like you. There’s something undeniably magical about him, beautiful even. He belongs there, in that photo under the sea, in this world. The moon illuminates the photo with her gaze, cold, distant, completely out of your reach but oh so very beautiful.

You take a deep, shuddering breath and try to throw away your thoughts.

~~~~

“Hench-human! Look at me look at me!” There are many days you feel like Grim’s parent as opposed to his… dorm leader? Classmate? Fellow traveler? Whatever you were actually supposed to be.

“I’m looking Grim, I promise!” You cheer him on, waving up at the monster who is happily flying above you on his little broom. “You’re doing great!” Coach Vargas had gone out of his way to find it for him so he could “train his muscles” with everyone else in flying class. It was cute, soothed the wound of not being able to participate yourself just a bit. The list of exercises Vargas handed you certainly didn’t.

“Slacking doesn’t build muscles!” You knew it was stupid to want to participate in a class that’s literal purpose was to teach students to channel magic, but it still sucked to be expected to do yoga in the corner of a field while Ace, Deuce, and now Grim get to zoom around above. At least you know Deuce isn’t making fun of you and will give you a ride if asked. “Hey while you’re at it would you mind keeping an eye on Azul? He’s supposed to be practicing over next to the bleachers.” You blink, stupidly at Vargas.

“I’m sorry?” Vargas points towards what is usually your exile corner and see- a sight. One you can immediately tell Azul would probably rather you never have ever seen. Your beautiful merman, rival? Acquaintance? Object of affection? Is pathetically hopping up and down with a stern look of determination on his face like he’s trying to negotiate with the broom rather than fly it. Your heart beats uncomfortably close to the front of your chest. Cold. Out of reach. And yet so blindingly pathetically beautiful you have to choke down bile as you make your way over to your little corner and begin clumsily stretching and keeping your gaze firmly on Grim out of habit. You hear rather than see him notice you.

“Prefect!” he splutters, chokes really and you have to physically bite your tongue to ground yourself enough to speak normally and completely lose it when you turn to face him. Azul’s winded, the tentacle waves of his hair are shimmering in the late afternoon sun with what’s probably sweat, but he doesn’t smell bad at all. His glasses are slanted and he’s clinging onto his broom so tightly his knuckles are turning white.

“Azul! Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” It comes out as a squeak and you break eye contact immediately. “I just-” you don’t want him to think you’re spying on him. “I usually-” well that just sounds like an excuse. “I can’t fly!” The smile on your face has got to look stupid but when you look at Azul he doesn’t seem to mind. If anything he relaxes in both posture and expression.

“I can see that.” He smiles and his eyes shimmer for a brief second before reaching to push his glasses and his persona back into place. “Does Coach Vargas always have you exercise during flying class?”

“Pretty much.” You don’t feel like you should complain really, it would be a bit unfair on paper if you were the only one relaxing during a class filled with physical activity. “Crewel convinced him to let me do yoga because I ‘need to relax more’ or something like that.”

“Do you not find exercise relaxing?” It’s a relatively simple question but this is Azul asking so it feels like the start of a survey that ends with you agreeing to sign away your immortal soul. So naturally,

“Not when everyone can watch.” you answer as honestly as possible because according to the dark mirror you don’t have one anyway. If Azul notices your skepticism it doesn’t stop him from plowing on ahead.

“I can understand that.” He lets out what you think is his best performative sigh, hand over his heart in a manner you are sure even Vil would compliment as well crafted showmanship. “Really there’s no reason for this school to force us to participate in activities we simply aren’t meant for.” You have to swallow a giggle at his use of “we,” that earlier display must not have been a one time thing. Sure would be a shame if you asked Floyd about it, he definitely wouldn’t tell you embarrassing things about his best friend. “Do you not find the lounge relaxing?” He asks the question with the same tone as his previous monologue, but it catches you off guard. You had expected this line of questioning to go in a different direction. Maybe he wanted to know just how close you were to the staff and see if he could use you as an in, not a google review.

“It’s very relaxing.” You aren’t just trying to flatter him, though you won’t object if he decides to puff up with pride from your praise. “There really is- well I certainly haven’t ever seen another place like it, I just have other places I should be spending my money.”

“You know I can help with that right.” You must look extremely unamused because he deflates slightly but doesn’t falter. “The National Track and Field Meet is coming up relatively soon, and I’ve been making some… changes to the menu. It’s meant to appeal to a different clientele than we typically serve. As a human from a completely different world your perspective on such a switch could prove invaluable.” You stare at him, hard, trying to figure what angle he’s working and can’t really hit on one. Well beyond the obvious; he thinks this will make him money.

“Are you sure you don’t just want me to wait tables during the event?” Azul’s offered you work before, usually through Floyd dramatically arriving at Ramshackle unannounced to slack off in your guest room because “Azul will never find me here. Not if I close my eyes and hide behind little shrimpy.” But you weren’t too sure if that arrangement could apply to an event.

“I’ve already secured Ruggie’s assistance with that, but if you’re interested in a paid position Jade will certainly need some help in the kitchens, well assuming you’re better at washing dishes than Grim.” You both have a bit of a laugh, though yours is significantly less mean spirited. “I can give you more details about the menu tomorrow night, assuming you are free.”

“I suppose I could find some time.” you give your best impression of Azul’s own shrug and hope he isn't too insulted. “Any fine print I should be concerned about before I completely agree to this?” He pauses, you are tempted to say because he didn’t expect to make it this far, but realistically he’s probably just trying to pick out what part of his plan is safe to tell you.

“The waitstaff will all be wearing their ceremonial robes as a special uniform for the event, but since you would just be washing dishes I would recommend-”

“I’m sorry, do you mean those things everyone was wearing at orientation?” You don’t mean to interrupt him, really you’re just confused. “The Octavinelle dorm uniform looks just fine.”

“I’m pleased you like them.” He means it, you can tell by how he stands just a little bit taller, stopping your heart for what you tell yourself is the briefest of seconds. “Our school's ceremonial robes are extremely popular with the local girls, so I am hoping they will draw more outside attention to the lounge.”

“The ceremonial robes? Seriously?” Not that you could ever have been considered an authority on what types of menswear was objectively attractive but you were a person with preferences and the ceremonial robes looked a bit difficult to take off. Not that you have thought extensively about them or anything else you’ve seen Azul wear.

“Do you not find them attractive prefect?” The fact Azul’s asking you seriously, with a touch of distress doesn’t register until you’ve inelegantly vomited up your response.

“Not really. I mean from what I remember from orientation you looked good in them but I can’t say I like them better than your dorm uniform. You even make the stupid hat work.” You physically bite down on your tongue to keep from saying anything else incriminating but the damage is already done. The poor man looks like a boiled octopus, red from the tip of his ears to the point of his nose. “Azul?” He coughs into his hand.

“Well, disagreements about fashion aside, I take it we have a deal?”

“Sure. Just send me a message on magicam when you need me and I’ll be there.”

~~~~

The location flickers in his peripheral vision, his focus wholly consumed by them. He’s never touched them like this, they’d never let him hold them like this but those thoughts fizzle in the face of your memory. “You are amazing.” He kisses them slowly as he gently cradles their face. Closer, he wants them closer but tauntingly, agonizingly they pull away as the scene settles. He’s on land, in the vip room of the lounge arms wrapped tightly around their waist while they’re sitting in his lap. Closer they’re not close enough to him they can still move away, but they show no sign of leaving. They just stare down at him, into him seeing him for who he is and not flinching at the sight. Closer. They lean back into his kiss and he pulls, surprisingly strong, into a tighter embrace. Closer. In dreams you don’t need to breathe, he’s free to move his hand behind their head and maneuver them down. Closer. He pins their hand next to their head, intertwining their fingers. Closer. “You look good, you look beautiful.” He shudders into them, and-

Wakes up dry heaving into his pillows with a scream. He’s panting, desperately trying to convince himself it’s out of disgust but he knows that’s not the case. Azul’s known for a while now just how he feels about them, he finds it ugly. Not them, sevens never them, he doubts he could ever truly find them as insignificant as he did before losing his contracts ever again. He untangles himself from his sheets and reaches for his glasses and phone, searching for the picture they’d taken at the museum. They look so happy, in awe even, and if he wants to lie to himself he can pretend that’s his doing and not the allure of the sea working its magic on yet another human. But Azul is a merfolk, he may admire the sea witch but he knows the tale of the mermaid princess just as well. The love between her and her prince was always portrayed as pure, innocent, devoid of things like thirst and greed. That’s the sort of love he thinks they deserve, the kind that’s not burdened by insecurities or possessiveness. Who would love someone who constantly lies?

“You are amazing as it is, even without stealing anyone else’s powers. You work so hard, determination is much harder to master than magic.”

If he closes his eyes he can still see your face as you say it. You meant every word, he knows you did. Even now you don’t really treat him all that differently than you do your other friends, his efforts are appreciated and respected according to the work he puts into them just like he’s always wanted. A wry smile works his way to his lips. How poor and unfortunate he is.

~~~~

“When you need me” came sooner than you expected. As soon as you made it back to Ramshackle you had two messages from Azul, one letting you know it was him and the other saying he had a space available for you to buss tables tomorrow if you were still available.

“I haven’t forgotten about my original request, once closing tasks are complete you can expect a truly unique reward.”

He texts like he speaks, professionally. If you didn’t know he was still a student you’d assume he was twice his actual age and already established in an office somewhere. Part of that was true you supposed, he did own the Lounge and was probably texting from his office.

“(* ^ ω ^) I’ll make sure to be on time!”

“Hench-human.” You look up from your phone to see Grim sitting on his favorite armchair, he sounds deathly serious and his face is bent into a look of disappointment he usually only reserves for Ace. He’s even crossing his arms like a disappointed parent. “We need to talk.”

“Did you puke on the bed again?”

“No!” He drops the act for a brief second before remembering he’s supposed to be “the one in charge” or something like that. “But if you keep gigglin’ like that I’m gonna!”

“Like what?” you attempt to mimic his energy by folding your hands across your chest.

“Like you got a crush on that stupid octopus.”

“Oh.” Oh. You hadn’t really thought much about that. On purpose really. “Well you don’t have to do that.” You had thought many things about Azul, felt a lot of things too. Frustration, no one got to treat your friends that badly and then laugh about it. Disappointment, someone so talented shouldn’t be wasting his time bullying others to feel better about himself. He should be secure in his own successes. Pity, but then again how else could he be expected to feel with his childhood having been what it was? Anger, that made his actions all the more inexcusable, you didn’t really regret putting him in his place even if the method was… less than ideal. Awe, you were aware most of your friends were still stuck firmly in anger. Sure, Ace and Deuce didn’t have much of a problem buying things from the Lounge or using their point cards, but there still was a bit of a sting to the whole arrangement. Grim might not have been capable of much but he could hold a grudge. Especially when someone hurt you, it was exceptionally sweet. You however…

It started with his overblot form. Floyd never should have told you that’s what he actually looked like, you swear you forgot how to breathe for a solid minute. Azul was beautiful, ethereal, and awe inspiring. You didn’t even mind that he was actively trying to choke you with his tentacles, you were that tempted to let him. Once he came to and came back to his human form, you were forced to swallow those feelings. Tuck them away in the hopes that Azul would go back to being that distant pretty face he had been since he ran down Grim at orientation. You told yourself you were content being friends with Riddle and the Heartslabyul gang, you didn’t need the acceptance of other dorms.

But he hadn’t. The trip to the museum apparently made the twins decide you were a friend; Floyd would follow you around when he got bored and demand you play with him, and if Jade had your schedule memorized no he didn’t prefect him ambushing you with an invitation to check out his club was completely coincidental. Azul remained distant, only ever really approaching when he needed something or to make an offer. It hurt that small part of themselves they’d been beating away with a stick, it hurt even worse when he reached out harder when they ignored him. This world’s already hurt you enough, you don’t need to be pining over an emotionally unavailable guy who viewed everything in the world through material value.

“Mmmmm.” Grim’s staring at you, clearly unconvinced and trying to not come off as worried.

“Really Grim. I promise, no kissing fish for me.” your phone pings and you see another message, from Floyd this time, and swipe to unlock just as the front door of Ramshackle nearly cracks off its hinges to announce his arrival.

“Shriiiiiiimpy, I’m so bored and Azul’s makin me work.” A loud obviously fake whine rings through the foyer and you sigh.

Looks like you will be seeing Azul a bit sooner than expected.

~~~~

The lounge is chaos by the time you sprint through the mirrors into Octavinelle. You scan the lounge frantically for Jade and settle on his retreating form heading towards the back office. It would be undignified to sprint towards him so you force yourself to speed walk through the waves of customers towards Floyd’s usual section. Another first year, one that actually belongs in this dorm, is floundering around trying to figure out why he’s even alive and nearly jumps out of his skin when you tap him on the shoulder. “Sorry I’m late, can you let Azul know I’m here?” He abandons you faster than a sinking ship and you barely resist the urge to scream at him to show a little gratitude. The Monstro Lounge is a “gentleman's establishment.” It doesn’t employ howler monkeys, but it sure does serve them. You snap your best customer service smile into place and glide over to one such cherished customer whose glare is threatening to freeze you to the floor. “I’m sorry about the wait, how can I serve you today?”

Meanwhile, back at the office, Azul is attempting to convince himself that he isn’t mad. Really, he’s just disappointed and really how could he be that when Floyd has been such a cherished friend for so long and-

“Oya, Azul, you’re starting to resemble a boiled octopus, are you sure this hasn’t complicated your plans at all?” Jade is usually, key word being usually, just as inconvenienced by his brother’s mood swings as anyone else. But this time, this time, Azul thinks while his left eye threatens to spasm out of its socket, he has a slight feeling that Jade might have encouraged this one. He’s smiling way too wide.

“Nonsense, I always have back up-” Jade doesn’t let him finish his thought.

“Ah but we can’t just go calling the prefect for this can we? Not when things aren’t perfect yet.”

“Just what are you getting out of this?” He really shouldn’t have to beg, Jade seems surprised he’s even trying.

“Maybe I’m just a bit better at reading things than you are.” And before Azul can try strangling Jade for that comment one of his students bursts into the back room panting as if he’d just run a marathon.

“Dorm leader! The prefect came over to take Floyd’s section. Said to let you know they were here.” He doesn’t respond immediately, he can see his plans going up in dust around him while Jade laughs beside him.

“There you see, Azul? No need to worry.” And as if the night couldn’t get any worse that damn moray bows to whisper in his ear. “They came for you after all.”

It really is a good night for unagi.

~~~~

The walk back to Ramshackle is quiet. If you just keep your eyes on the path in front of you, the only thing you can hear is the chirp of an occasional cricket. The sigh of an owl. And of course the light click of the footsteps beside you, if you were extra quiet, you could maybe even hear Azul breathing. It’s soft, if you could bring yourself to look at him maybe you would see that he’s just as nervous about this as you are.

Not that “this” is anything special really. You’ve worked closing shifts at the lounge before, and someone always walks you back. Usually it’s Grim, he never actually helps with the work but he’s more than happy to show up at the end and claim some share of the reward for shepherding you home. But this time the little weasel had decided not to show and, for some reason, Azul had asked to accompany you. “For my sanity if nothing else.” You hadn’t been able to speak since hearing that for fear your heart would leap right out of your mouth, you aren’t even entirely certain how you managed to nod an approval. Not that Azul’s been much better, he hasn’t made eye contact with you since you started the walk back. Or spoken. You’d almost think he’s annoyed, or angry, if not for how the closer you get to your dorm the slower his steps get. Maybe he doesn’t want things to end so soon either…

“The moon is beautiful tonight.” He breaks his silence with a sigh and you choke slightly, eyes darting towards him warily even though you know for a fact that phrase doesn’t hold the same meaning here.

“Ramshackle always has a great view of the night sky.” you look up at the moon to avoid Azul’s quizzical gaze. “It looks almost exactly like the moon in my world.”

“You enjoy watching it then, I take it?” You don’t answer immediately, the question swirling up a myriad of contracting emotions and answers.

“Sometimes.” You settle on a thought, haphazard as it feels. “It’s funny, the longer I look at it the more it makes me think about a story I used to really like.”

“Used to?” You don’t have to look at Azul to know he’s doing the thing he always does while probing for information. Yet you do anyway, the little unnecessary push he gives to his glasses is too cute.

“It just feels a bit too close to home now.” It feels silly to say that, but then again, this is Azul. He could also technically be considered to be from another world, so maybe he’d understand. “There’s this bamboo cutter who finds a baby in one of the bamboo stalks he cuts and raises her as his daughter. There’s always something just a bit off about her, when there’s a full moon out she stares at it and cries a whole lot, like there’s something up there she misses. She’s extremely beautiful though so everyone kind of brushes that off, and after finding her the bamboo cutter starts finding gold in every bamboo stalk he cuts.”

“That’s unrealistic.” scoffs Azul. “There has to be a catch.” You can’t help but laugh, of course this is where he’d choose to interrupt.

“It’s a story, Azul. And besides you literally live in a world where magic exists calm down.” He snorts and you quickly start talking before he can begin his protests. “Anyway he starts finding gold inside the bamboo and becomes wealthy enough to be considered important. His daughter grows up to be an otherworldly beautiful woman and gets a bunch of attention from all over the country, people call her a princess. She’s so popular the emperor himself comes to see her and they get to talking. The two of them find they have a lot in common, so when the emperor proposes he’s sure she’ll say yes.” Azul’s smart, you’re pretty sure he’s figured out the plot twist already by the way he’s set his jaw, but he makes no attempt to stop you. Almost like he’s hoping you will prove him wrong. “But she doesn’t. She says she can’t marry him because she isn’t from his country and can’t be his queen. He’s heartbroken but the princess agrees to keep in touch so he thinks that maybe he could one day have a chance, but then the princess’s strange behavior’s start getting more erratic. She starts spending every night outside looking at the moon, and when her father finally asks her why she tells him a secret. That she is from the moon, and that soon she’s going to have to return.” You look back at Azul, expecting his eyes to be on the moon only to find them centered pointedly on you. It’s a heavy gaze, suffocating almost.

“I can’t imagine the emperor was accepting of that.” He’s trying to make a joke, at least you think. The words fall sort of flat.

“When the princess tells him that, he tries to send soldiers to her house. To prevent the moon from taking her back. But it doesn’t work, when the time comes for her to return everyone in the house falls into a deep sleep while the princess is swept up by the moon people.” You both stand in silence for a moment before you think to add. “That’s not really why I started disliking it though. There’s- when she goes back to the moon they wrap her up in this cloak that makes her forget everyone she met on earth.”

“Do you think that’s what will happen to you?” There’s an emotion in his voice you can’t quite place. If you had to describe it you’d say he was teetering on the edge of desperation, over what you can’t quite tell. “Do you want that to happen to you?”

“No!” You surprise yourself with how forcefully you shout. “I don’t think the lady from the moon did either. Pretty much every version of the story I ever read really made it seem like she wanted to stay, but-”

“Why didn’t the emperor go himself?” He’s getting closer to the edge, similar to how he sounded when his contracts got turned to dust but thankfully not yet that desperate. “If he was in love, why didn’t he demand they stay?” And that aura from flying class is back; he’s talking but he isn’t saying what he means but this time you think-

The way he looks at you has changed. Azul’s smiles have started reaching his eyes, you belatedly foolishly realize, and now his carefully concealed doubts have too. “Maybe he was afraid.” you don’t have to phrase it as a question, there’s no real question about what’s keeping you both silent here. He flinches, trying desperately to steady himself. You take a deep, shuddering breath as Azul squares his shoulders and steps closer to you. “That they wanted to leave all along and he couldn’t bring himself to deny them.” Closer. “Maybe he thought somethings were more important than taking a risk on someone from another world.” Closer. Not quite yet as close as he could be but firmly within reach, but he doesn’t dare move any more.

“He’s a better man than me.” It’s a warning, or at least it should register as one. Make you reconsider the smile that escapes your lips and settles firmly into his poor unfortunate heart. “I don’t think I could let such a rare person go if they shone so clearly against the night sky.” You want to laugh. Really you do but you’re too busy reveling in the newfound light in his eyes to do anything other than choke back a sob.

“Then I guess you’re lucky I’m not from the moon.” And finally, finally, finally you move to close the gap so you’re standing chest to chest under the light of the moon, warming the cold beat of his heart into something far less shallow. Finally, finally he sees you, and knows he doesn’t have to look away.

*Jade encouraged Floyd to ditch so Azul wouldn't be in control of the conversation. Partially to mess with him and partially because I think someone as obsessed with perfection as Azul should be forced to realize love isn't something you can plan every aspect of and I think Jade would agree with me because I am the author and I say so.

**In the original translation I read everyone is blinded by a light. I changed this for correlation to chapter 7.

#twst x reader #twst x yuu #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #azul x yuu #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu

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sunrayram · 7 months

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im super interested in alastor’s and niffty’s dynamic in this au!! im not really sure how to word this question but do you have anything youve been thinking about with them, outside of him just being very protective/possessive over her, and her still being fairly loyal to him? any headcanons or ideas you have for the two of them?

Alastor has two whole friends before the events of canon, Mimzy and Nifty. Even though he'll never admit it, he desperately needs both of them.

I've gone into his relationship with Mimzy before, but she basically acts as the only person Alastor can really let loose around. Alastor only really has some genuine fun when Mimzy's around.

When it comes to Nifty, she's the closest thing Alastor has to family on this side of the mortal plane. Nifty is the first soul Alastor owned, and it was honestly a pretty painless affair. At the time, Nifty's ex-husband had still been alive in hell, and Alastor promised to keep her safe in exchange for her soul. The ex-husband has long since been dealt with, but Nifty has no complaints about Alastor still holding her soul. She once jokingly told him that it was likely in safer hands now.

here's some fun stuff about these two!

Alastor cooks, and Nifty bakes. Nifty is the only one who's allowed to go in and out of the kitchen with no complaints from Alastor, and they can spend hours there together, singing along to classic jazz from the radio.

Alastor is not allowed to just say whatever he wants on his radio show, since it's now a part of the Jackpot Casino. That means he has a lot of opinions built up that he's not allowed to share. If he's not yelling these opinions at Husk, he's passionately sharing them with Nifty. She thinks they're funny. Sometimes, she'll bargain with him. He'll be allowed to rant for an hour, and then she'll get an hour to read her latest fanfiction out loud. Only her sfw stuff tho, obviously. (She reads him found family fic as a not-so-subtle-hint of how she feels about him. It goes right over his head.)

Nifty and Alastor play a weird version of fuck/marry/kill when they have the same shifts at the casino. Nifty points out the people she'd fuck/marry, and Alastor points out the people he'd kill. It's fun, I guess.

Nifty really really wants them to get a pet. Alastor banned any discussion of dogs, and Nifty's slightly allergic to cats. She has a list she's been secretly making of animals she thinks Alastor would like. It goes as follows:

Possum: eats bugs. Frog: no fur, not dirty (?) eats bugs. Alligator: Alastor has an alligator skull. Might like them. Bat: eats bugs. Con: Might have rabies? Deer: Maybe some form of kinship. Pig: Actually pretty clean. Makes funny noises. Anteater: eats bugs.

Alastor loves collecting trinkets, which actually annoys Nifty to no end bc it means his room isn't clean/organized. He apologizes by bringing back little gifts whenever he goes out. He also keeps his collections away from areas Nifty frequents so it doesn't bother her as much.

Alastor has banned Nifty from gambling at the casino. The one time she tried, she lost almot 500,000 dollars in one night. Even Husk was horrified.

They're both a bit mad, but they like it that way. Nifty's one of the only people around who doesn't want Alastor to change. Whether or not that's a good thing ... ehhh who knows. But it's priceless to him.

#ask #hazbin hotel #bad beat au #hazbin hotel au #au #alastor #hazbin alastor #nifty #hazbin nifty

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neptune-scythe · 8 months

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Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

#grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith #kanej #kaz x inej #kaz and inej #kanej headcanon #kaz and inej headcanon #kaz brekker headcanon #inej ghafa headcanon

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wrencatte · 2 months

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mini fic 10! Fallen Order - Pre Dathomir - Cal & Greez Greez decides Cal needs to learn how to cook. Cal POV - 1.1k ao3 minific link - chapter 9 (hearing)

Awake earlier than he rightly should be considering the bantha shit he dealt with yesterday, Cal shuffles out of the engine room still drowsy, hair sticking up to really show how not ready he is for the day. BD-1 nearly trips him on his wobbly way to the caf maker, the droid pattering over to Cere to tell her about something or other. Cal’s not really listening, focused solely on the near future that has sweet hot caf in his system. He’s thwarted not even halfway there by Greez shoving his hand in front of him. Cal screeches to a halt and stares at the object in the latero’s palm.

“That’s an egg,” Cal says slowly.

Uncooked he knows because it’s speckly blue now, but the shell turns grey-ish when boiled. Why Greez is showing him an uncooked qiqirn egg, he has no idea, and he doesn’t really care because it’s not caf. Please, sweet caffeine, you are needed.

Greez rolls his eyes. “Take it, longbean. You’re helping with breakfast.”

“I am?” Cal looks longingly at the caf maker. It’s mostly filled which means it’s fresh and hot and he doesn’t have to wait. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Too bad.”

Greez lets go of the egg without as much as a by your leave, causing Cal to scramble before it gets scrambled – and he’ll have to be the one who cleans it up. He cradles it carefully, still thoroughly confused as to how he ended up in this situation. He doesn’t remember ever hinting that he wanted to learn. And he knows for a fact Greez never brought up the idea before now.

Cere sips her own caf nonchalantly, focused on her datapad and whatever research she’s deep diving into this time with BD leaning over her arm to read along. Cal narrows his eyes. She looks pretty absorbed so that focus could be real, sure. Cal almost believes it. Almost. There’s a hum in the Force, one of amusement, that gives her up too quickly. The fact he notices it means she’s not trying very hard.

Case in point – Cere’s eyes flicker up to meet his, the corner of her mouth twitching upward.

“Cere should help too,” Cal decides. Her grin widens.

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m only allowed to touch the caf maker,” she says.

“I had to replace my counter tops because of her. She is in no way allowed to help in my galley. Forget it.”

Cere raises her mug in acknowledgement.

“Maybe she should learn?” Cal tries.

Greez sighs – unnecessarily loud in Cal’s opinion. “Get over here.”

He throws one last longing glance at the caf maker before shuffling over. “I know how to cook,” he mumbles as he tries to hand the egg over. At Greez’s doubting expression he slumps, face growing warm, and clumsily cracks the egg into a little bowl. “I can boil water. That’s the first step, right?”

“Sure, yeah. And I bet it served you well in the hellhole that is Bracca, plenty of fresh water that’s not gonna destroy your sensitive human stomach, right?” Cal grimaces. “I thought so. Boiling can only get you so far. You’re gonna learn how to cook and I’m gonna teach ya.”

The eggshell, including the bits he may or may not have accidentally added to the bowl, get traded for a knife and a cutting board of greens. Cal angles the knife, at least chopping is something he can do. Greez clears his throat. He angles it another way. Greez lightly knocks his wrist to bump it to the right spot. Ah, okay, he remembers seeing him cut them this way before. Cal gets to chopping. The echo on the knife prickles pleasantly under his palm. A savory sort of happiness that he feels on a lot of Greez’s cooking equipment. He lets it guide him into cutting Thavnaririan onions and Shaaloani peppers.

He doesn’t rely on them though. If Greez wants to teach him how to cook, he’ll let Greez teach him how to cook.

Cal can’t help but wonder. Without looking, he asks, “Why do I need to learn when I have you?”

They’ve only been a crew for a few months, sure. He’s still relearning how to be a person who trusts, who is a Jedi, who may actually be worth something. But Cal can’t imagine not heaving Greez’s food waiting for him when he wakes up, when he comes back after a hard day of feeling like he’s made zero progress on their quest for the holocron. He even gets snacks and a packed meal shoved into his arms when he’s heading out.

He shouldn’t be so used to it now. Shouldn’t be looking forward to the happy echoes every time he’s in the galley.

The ones that make every meal even better because love and care and joy are etched into every plate and bowl and utensil. It’s something he’s missed. The Temple’s kitchens were overflowing with the care the cooks put into their craft, the determined happiness of Initiates learning their ways around the workspace, the joy of the people who partook in the meals so lovingly made. It was hard to get that in a war. Even harder on Bracca.

A hand rests on his forearm and Cal realizes he stopped chopping; the vegetables are a little blurry. Greez carefully takes the knife from him and sets it to the side. He doesn’t press his hands to his eyes, he at least has that brain capacity, but he tucks his face into his elbow for a second, his exhale a little shuddery.

No one says anything while Cal takes a second to compose himself, and he is so very grateful for it. Crying over cooking. Wow. Not even cooking, just chopping vegetables and remembering.

When Cal’s breaths finally settle and he drops his arm, face flushed in embarrassment, Greez silently hands him the knife again. He finishes up the peppers, focusing a little more than he needs to.

“Cooking with someone makes the food taste better,” Greez says eventually when the first omelet is sizzling. Only Cal’s will have the Shaaloani peppers, both Cere and Greez find them too spicy. Cal hums, keeps his eyes on the browning edges. He should flip it. “It’s always good to know how to cook, but really, it’s for me. Cere is hopeless and I miss having a cooking partner.”

“I’m not against it,” Cal tells him softly. He flips the omelet. It’s a little browner than it should be. Overcooked, maybe, but it’s still edible, right? Greez doesn’t say anything about it. “It’d be nice to know how to make something other than heated grainmush.”

Greez shudders. “Gods, never mention that tasteless gruel in my galley. Is that what you ate on Bracca?”

“Among other worse things.”

“I’m going to teach you so many dishes you’ll forget that one was ever an option, got it?”

Cal smiles as Cere slides a cup of caf over now that the more finicky bits of prepping are completed. “Got it.”

#cal kestis #greez dritus #jedi fallen order #gestalt jfo #my writing #not beta'd

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ipreferfiction · 9 months

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Jiggy.

MY SPECIAL LITTLE GUY MY BLORBO LOVE OF MY LIFE. i am insane about him. he is the character of all time

My first impression: huh. i don't know what's going on here but he seems interesting and competent.

My impression now: i would kill and die for him. he is my favorite character in mdzs and one of my favorites EVER. he has so many layers!! a-yao....

Favorite thing about that character: he's COMPETENT. to an absolutely insane degree. learning what he did about cultivation from shitty useless manuals and forming a golden core as an older teenager/young adult takes an INSANE amount of talent, not to mention HENSHENG??? he is the only (named?) character to have a soft sword, he's adapted bits of fighting styles from multiple major sects, and he's skilled enough with Hensheng that at some point he has shattered multiple spiritual weapons with it. he was a spy under WEN FUCKING RUOHAN for months. he and wwx are entirely responsible for winning the sunshot campaign and he dealt the final blow. also what he did with the song of turmoil?? equally insane amount of talent.

Least favorite thing: the Bad TakesTM. he attracts them like FLIES

Favorite line/scene: Lan Xichen! In this life, I’ve lied countless times, killed countless times. Like you said, I killed my father, my brother, my wife, my son, my teacher, my friend—of all the evil in the world, what haven’t I done?!...But I’ve never even thought of harming you!

i am very normal about them.

honestly his entire Guanyin Temple showing is nuts in the best way and i am chewing on him. close seconds are him on the stairs of Jinlintai looking at Nie Mingjue and going, of course they and I are different! the utter RESIGNATION of it. the truth of it!! he will never be treated like the rest of the cultivation world, he knows it, and Mingjue can't see it like he does!

Favorite interaction that character has with another: every time he and xichen are on screen or on page together is just. so nuts. the box scene. guanyin temple (god!!!!!!!!!! augh). everything cql added in.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Qin Su!! she needs more time anyway but god their relationship is SO TRAGIC and i love looking at AUs where the whole marriage can be avoided and there aren't lasting scars left on both jgy and qs from. you know. accidentally marrying your half sibling because your shared father is a rapist. also, we get zero real looks at how their relationship is before everything goes south and it pains me.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: this is so fucking hard oh my god. there are bits of He Xuan and Ling Wen that i see in him, i think? especially the. "i was born the same day as you and i am cleverer than you but my life was a tragedy and yours was perfect, so why was I not worthy of the same fate you were? why did I get nothing when you got everything?" and the "you know what? I am tired of cleaning up your messes. i am going to cause problems now." he also... i cannot explain this one but his vibes are very similar to Alexander of Tirragen from the Song of the Lioness quartet in my mind. i genuinely truly cannot comprehend WHY those two are associated in my brain, but they are.

A headcanon about that character: he was in love with Xichen and Xichen was in love with him. god bless the cql xiyao agenda.

A song that reminds of that character: lying beast by run river north - it reminds me very much of what he would think of himself esp. towards the end (and guanyin temple)

An unpopular opinion about that character: he and Mingjue's relationship could not have been fixed, or at least not without considerable effort on Mingjue's part, post-Sunshot and especially around the time of the stairs before JGY starts playing turmoil. JGY did not need to put more effort into it! he was already putting effort into it! Mingjue's worldview is fundamentally incompatible with JGY's existence, frankly. It never mattered how hard he tried to mend the relationship because Mingjue would always see him as a liar who was trying to manipulate him, and the sworn brotherhood was not a good idea, Xichen, good god.

Favorite picture: all of them but especially these. i support his wrongs (he has never done anything wrong ever in his life). he is the prettiest man alive and yet!! he suffers! but oh god his thousand yard stare after Mingjue kicks him down the stairs...

#answered asks #jin guangyao #mdzs

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bayofwolves · 1 month

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Rereading Against the Tide

After two months... we're so back.

Apologies once again for the impromptu hiatus! I'm excited to get back to these rereads. It's been a while, so I'll explain the purpose of these posts again: This is not a full analysis, but rather a compilation of details I find interesting or missed when I was a younger reader. I'm rereading the whole series to gather information for A Revised History of Erdas, so there may be some commentary from time to time on how I plan to change or expand on certain plot points.

Let's find out what horrors are in store for our heroes this time!

Finally, Abeke gets her own cover! My girl!! They change how Uraza looks on every cover, but I like how she looks here. I especially love the purple wisps coming from her; how cool would it be if that happened every time your spirit animal appeared out of passive state?

Erdas has the Fahrenheit scale, apparently. Well, that's gotta go. The top of Muttering Rock is about 200 degrees, or 93 degrees Celsius -- leagues hotter than anything ever recorded on Earth.

I forgot how horrifying this opening chapter was. Gerathon pushing a little boy's body past its limits just to deliver a message to Kovo... awful.

Abeke seems to have scar tissue pain, possibly due to nerve damage, from the stab wound Tahlia dealt her in Fire and Ice. She mentions that even though it has mostly healed, she still experiences pain there, particularly in colder weather. If only this hadn't been forgotten by the next book -- it would have been super interesting, in my opinion, to see one of our protagonists deal with lasting effects from an injury they received.

Meilin referring to Shane as Abeke's "Conqueror boyfriend" has been occupying space in my head since 2015. We should have had more of this energy. (I need to have one of the Conquerors or Redcloaks call Abeke Shane's Greencloak girlfriend in return. Drina most definitely would.)

Kalani and her people share similarities with the Māori of Earth. They have the same tattoos and concept of tapu.

Tangaroa is the name of the Māori atua (god) of the sea. I love finding little references to the Earth culture a region of Erdas was inspired by. They did the same with Tiddalik, Tahlia's water-holding frog, who shares a name with the real-life Australian legend he is based on.

I wish Abeke had gotten the chance to see Leopard, the baby orangutan, again. They were so sweet. Also, the authors should have kept this habit she has of rescuing baby animals going for longer. Picture this: She encounters something a little more deadly this time. Dotes on it for a bit and nurses it back to health or helps it find its way back to its family. It remembers how Abeke helped it, and in her hour of need comes to her rescue.

At least there's a cleansing ceremony (this presumably refers to noa) to rid someone of tapu. Now why didn't the authors have Kalani do this for Rollan in The Evertree instead of having her go against her beliefs for his sake? Man... I should have been in the writers' room.

"This quest is leaving a lot of burned bridges in our wake. I fear we, and perhaps all Greencloaks by extension, will no longer be so welcome afterward in places like this." YES! Finally, someone considers the consequences of their actions. It's back to "the ends justify the means" in the next paragraph, but at least there was this fleeting moment of realization.

Nightshade Island was wiped from the world maps after the First Devourer War, along with Stetriol. I wonder if there were other places associated with the Conquerors and/or Kovo and Gerathon that were deemed "tainted" and erased from the history books. This also prompts a nitpick from me -- I wish the maps shown at the beginning of each book were more tailored to the book/arc. They added the Evertree and the Petral Mountain range in the second arc, which is great, but I want a whole lot more of that detail. In the first arc, the map could have had Stetriol missing from it. We could have had its first appearance on Immortal Guardians's map, once the Greencloaks could deny their existence no longer. Other important locations deserved to be on there too, maybe being added book by book. Glengavin. The Lake of the Elephant. Samis (perhaps disappearing without further comment after Fire and Ice). Cabaro's oasis. Muttering Rock. Zourtzi. The Place of Desolation. The list goes on. They all deserved to be put on the maps! I rest my case!

Meilin casually saying "I can still control Jhi" sent a shiver down my spine. It's so out of place. Like, how can she have spent so much time with the Greencloaks and still be so fundamentally wrong about the spirit animal bond?

So Timote was the heir to the Hundred Isles before the Conquerors captured him. And knowing how male-dominated monarchies work, the other brother, Piri, would likely have taken the throne before Kalani even if he is younger than her. The Conquerors knew what they were doing by killing the previous rulers and taking their two male children hostage. They wanted to leave the Hundred Islanders leaderless. To totally incapacitate them. I bet they were in for a shock when Kalani proved her capability as queen.

Feliandor is wearing a red cloak in Rollan's vision. Most certainly a throwaway detail, but it didn't stop me from sitting up and pointing at the page when I read it.

Rollan sees something vaguely familiar in Feliandor's face, and we have to wait an entire book before learning that he must have been reminded of Shane, his descendant. Seriously, the foreshadowing for multiple big events in the first arc is really well done. I love discovering all the little hints pointing towards Shane being the true Devourer, or Meilin being the mole. This is one thing the many authors successfully worked together on.

While the vision on Nightshade Island is one of my favourite parts of the book, something bugs me about it. Why did only Rollan have this vision? Despite Tarik and Meilin being right beside him as it happened, neither of them saw what he did. It would have been a lot better if they all had the same vision at once. If the echoes of what happened on that island centuries earlier still linger, shouldn't they appear to anyone who visits? Why would it only be one person out of three?

Peleke, the Komodo dragon, poses a brief threat to Abeke, Conor and Kalani on Sunlight Island. Except... his species should go by a different name in this world. Komodo dragons were named as such because they originate from Komodo Island on planet Earth. This is such an easy fix. Just name any one of the Hundred Isles and have the species come from there.

Abeke instinctively knows how to ride Uraza, despite it being her first time doing so. Was she Tembo in another life? Kidding. She is his direct descendant in ARHoE, though.

God, the scene with Tarik saying goodbye to the Four and begging them to come back to him haunts me. Tarik will never see Abeke or Meilin again, and he will die not knowing if they are alive or dead. He will die believing that he failed them.

I'm really glad to see some development of Tarik here. For all his appearances and importance to our protagonists, he is quite a flat character. But here, we get a good look into his headspace. He loves the Four deeply, like a father should love his children. He doesn't want them to go where he can't protect them. He wonders if the Greencloaks are doing the right thing by sending such young people into battles they might not return from, still thinking about what Barlow said all the way back in Wild Born. I need to see more of this Tarik.

"[Rollan] wondered if he and his friends would survive long enough to see a day when they could just enjoy a place like this -- the sunshine, swimming with seals, the warm water." As soon as the war was over, the Four definitely came back to Oceanus and had a beach day. They deserve a vacation after all of this, and I'm positive they took many of them. It'll be fun to figure out what they all got up to in the year between arcs for ARHoE.

I've talked about this before, but I love all the moments that suggest the Four Fallen will one day return to their old forms. I don't believe this would happen in their human partners' lifetimes, but in any case, it would be cool to see it come to pass.

Despite both Mulop and Briggan being visionary Great Beasts, neither of them foresaw Kovo using Feliandor to start a war. How convenient for him.

Abeke is able to spot Shane in the mass of Conquerors by his blond hair, which makes me wonder: What if blond people were considered a rarity in Erdas? What if golden hair was a trait exclusive to Stetriol, and most of the world had never seen it before? That would be kind of fun. (Yes, I know there's Conor, but he's more of a redhead in ARHoE.)

"Not far below her, Uraza was grappling with a huge doglike creature that Abeke thought might be a dingo." I know it's mentioned a few paragraphs later that Tarik used books to teach her about animals that were foreign to her (which is really cute), but dingoes are native to Stetriol, which the Greencloaks effectively erased from existence. There are probably no encyclopedias still in circulation that include Stetriolan flora or fauna. My headcanon is that Shane told Abeke about the animals that are native to his homeland, and that's how she knows about dingoes.

"She drew her bow back and aimed, trying to ignore her thudding heart. The man stood on an outcropping, shouting orders at the fighters scrambling up behind him. Her sharp arrow tip was pointed directly down at Zerif's heart." The way this scene directly parallels Abeke's attempt to shoot infected Zerif in The Burning Tide... wow. Ignoring canon and thinking of ARHoE where she does kill him in the end, this was written in the stars. It is her destiny.

"Stabbing, scratching pain seared through her, but she gained control of one hand --" So resisting Gerathon's mind control can cause physical pain. Interesting.

I know Rollan was kind of forced to leave Meilin, but couldn't he have swooped in on Great Essix and carried Abeke out of there AT LEAST? Not even Meilin can fight a giant gyrfalcon.

Gerathon is not any good at controlling people, damn. Maybe she's rusty after so many years.

This was a great read, as they all are. It was a nice refresher after Fire and Ice, with all the callbacks to what our heroes had faced in the previous books. Seriously, Fire and Ice was a mess in terms of continuity. But Tui understood the assignment. My favourite parts of this one were the beautiful butch lesbian that is Kalani, Abeke becoming mom to another baby animal and riding Great Uraza Tembo-style, the Feliandor vision and Mulop, ever a delight to read. I really enjoyed the people and culture of Oceanus; so excited for Kalani to reappear in the coming books. And, of course, the reveal of Meilin being the mole all along was utterly perfect. The amount of thought and planning that went into this decision, the layers of foreshadowing building up to this horrible truth... it deserves all the praise.

We're at the lowest point we've ever been, and it's about to get even lower.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

#text #original erdas #a revised history of erdas #spirit animals #spirit animals books #spirit animals series #against the tide

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taexual · 8 months

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im getting real tired of oc acting like she has everything under control and is this amazing manger when all she does is order people around and can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations. i mean she yells and questions others for their behavior but they have to draw the line when it comes to her? that’s hypocritical. her saying that she was hiding behind the bet and only bc she was scared of jungkook‘s feelings being real is and was obvious from the very beginning but she also lied to herself again i mean let’s wake it up right?

how come YOU work with your ex boyfriend that is in a band that YOU are the manager of and allow YOURSELF to work with when YOU act like YOU don’t care about him, while YOU also try to control him for petty sht that has mostly to 65% nothing to do with the work environment. she always wants others to give her time and let her get her thoughts right before she has to talk but others for example jungkook has always an ultimatum like what is wrong with her and her entire mental health atp? im on jungkooks side with, that yes i as a reader am tired too if her acting like she doesn’t want to be with him when that’s all she wants but she‘s selfish (in my opinion no shade) bc she wants to see him beg a little more to avoid a) the confrontation about their fucked up relationship that happened from both sides and b) bc it makes her feel worthy of something again bc he didn’t care about her enough in those 4 years he was with others right? then yeah i wouldn’t give my time and energy to get that kind of person back and not bc jungkook wants to be better for her he needs to be better for himself and her never giving him that reassurance is unfair and disgusting bc she can want that from him right?

like i seriously need people like her to just either be direct or get out of that persons life forever. she sees that jungkook has other SERIOUS issues like his mental health and addiction to always downgrade himself as not worthy for any-little-thing but all she focuses on is „omg u did a bet now i can’t be with you and also bc nick wants me on the renaissance tour so ughhh idk everything is so heavy and omg i fainted am having so much stress ugh:((„ like shut the fuck up. she knew what she was getting into when she signed the contract for being a manager could she know how much stress she was getting into? no but that’s no here or there bc she allowed herself to not have a break that is on nobody but herself.

i have so much to discuss about her character but i really don’t want to just know that im tired of her and also thank you for writing something that’s truly new and fresh! i like this story it makes us think and have thoughts about the the chapters in general so yeah i hope you don’t get offended of how i view oc i don’t want to bash your characters ig it just that everyone has a different opinion in certain matters right? still thank you and have a great day! ☺️😊

omg babe you are having some very very interesting thoughts!!!! thank you for reading and for getting invested!!!!!!! 🥺🥺

the characters will have a discussion about a lot of the things that you mentioned soon--mostly in the next chapter--so i'm not going to elaborate much, but again, some very interesting points!! they are people with clear issues, and insecurities ranging from their past relationship to parental trauma to toxic friends. you know what i mean?? and i can't wait to show you what's nextttt!!!! 🤍🤍🤍

adding a spoiler bc i feel like it 🤌🏻

baby you said oc "can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations" and that is going to be one of the key plot points in the upcoming chapters!!!!

their whole relationship, they dealt with the chronic let's-not-talk-about-this illness, you know?? and jungkook is overcoming it! but now that's coming back to bite oc a little bit, because not only does she have to talk too, but she also has to face her demons from the broken relationship she had grown up in

#ask #anonymous #taexual; sleepwalking #when i saw this i was facetiming my friend #it was like 2am #and the way you sent me straight into orbit with your message babe #INTO ORBIT #i was still on a caffeine high at that time and you made me want to keep working on sleepwalking rIGHT NOW #i went to bed at 5am lmao #regardless of that though #i'm so excited!!! like throughout the progress of the story i've heard all kinds of things about both of the main characters #and some of the reactions have been very intense!!! which has been very very interesting and fascinating #i have the most fun when the characters are complex and the situations they end up in are messy #so reading about your emotions?? it's extremely valuable for me!!!#i love to know what thoughts cross your mind as you go along the story<3

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aldbooks · 2 years

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”when was the last time you ate?” Elucien (Elain asks lucien)

Angsty Prompts

Oooh, I've been waiting for an Elucien one. I love Gwynriel, but a lot of these prompts are better suited to Elucien.

I'm setting this one probably a year or two after ACOSF. Koschei is dealt with, Beron is dead, he's learned Helion is his father, Vassa has returned to her throne on the continent with Jurian, he still hasn't made much progress with Elain and Lucien is... not dealing well...

This is kind of a long one

---

It had been a surprise to everyone when Tamlin arrived unannounced on the border on the Night Court. Elain had been sure Rhysand was only one snide comment away from tearing the male's head off, but he'd been smart enough to remain firmly inside the bounds of the Day Court.

At the very least, she expected that he and her sister would not even deign to hear him out had he not looked quite so aggrieved. And after the aid he'd provided during both the conflicts with Hybern and Koschei, she rather thought they might have softened towards the male just a little bit.

Elain, of course, had not actually been present for this particular conversation, but she'd had a vision of his coming just before they'd received word of his arrival, and Rhysand had opened his mind to her, rather surprisingly, not long after they'd gone to meet the High Lord of Spring.

The reason why, she'd discovered not long after.

"I don't know what else to do," Tamlin said, looking defeated. "It was bad for several months when he first arrived in Spring- after Jesminda, but this..."

He shook his head, shaggy, blonde hair swishing around his shoulders. He looked better than the last time Rhysand had seen him outside of a battlefield. Not quite himself yet, but not so wild and unkempt.

"Back then, he'd been emotional. He'd have bouts of furious anger and sadness. Now and then he'd hide away and wallow in his guilt and sorrow, but mostly he still tried to participate. Tried to distract himself from the grief. Now... it's like he's barely alive. I'm not sure he's said ten words altogether since he arrived and it's been a month."

"And what exactly do you think we can do for him that you cannot? You are his oldest friend," Feyre said cautiously.

Tamlin sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly over his face. "Honestly, I don't know. But I don't know who else to turn to. He's turned away anyway who's come to visit, even his mother. I thought perhaps... your sister-"

"I will not involve Elain in this," Feyre interjected. "She has shown no interest in him or the bond, I will not force her to interact with him. Whatever is bothering him is not her burden to bear."

Rhys, surprisingly, said nothing. His silence seemed rather pointed. Not at his companions, Elain realized, but at her. Whatever his thoughts were on the subject, he did not share, but it was rather obvious he wanted her to hear.

"No one is forcing her," Tamlin growled in frustration. "But it would not hurt to ask. I've exhausted every other possibility," he said quickly, before Feyre could retort. "I would not be here otherwise," he added bitterly.

Rhysand's gaze shifted to his mate who studied Tamlin, arms crossed over her chest and expression uncertain. Still, he offered no opinion.

Tamlin's sigh this time sounded heavier. "I'm worried about him," he said quietly. "He's been through so much already, I-I'm worried what he might do..."

The implication hung heavily amongst them, seeming to hit her sister hard. "I will ask her," she said after a long moment. "But I make no promises."

"That is all I ask," Tamlin said gratefully, nodding to them both before he disappeared.

---

Elain was still staring out the kitchen window, where she had been at the time Rhysand had allowed her into his mind. She'd gone there to help the twins, who were making bread, in an effort to expel the sudden nervous energy she'd felt after informing Rhys and her sister of Tamlin's arrival.

Now she blinked, refocusing on the room. Her hands were still sticky and covered in flour, one hand pressed down on the ball of dough she'd been working. Nuala and Cerridwen stared at her worriedly and she realized she was crying. Barely, but enough to wet her lashes.

"Are you alright, Lady?" Nuala asked.

Before Elain could answer, Rhys and Feyre returned, walking straight into the kitchen.

Her sister wrung her hands nervously in front of her, seeming to carefully consider her words. "Elain..."

"I know," she whispered. Elain's eyes slid to Rhysand's who was watching her silently. There was no emotion on his face, but she thought she could see it in his eyes. He knew what she'd decided, and he approved. "I will go."

Feyre threw a glare at her mate before she took a step forward, reaching out a hand. "You don't have to-"

"I know. I said I will go."

Truth be told, the decision had been an easy one and not just because she was the sort of person who could not bear to see another suffering when there was something she might do to help.

Despite the tug of the bond that she had been consistently ignoring for the last four years, she did not dislike her mate. In truth, she barely knew him. But she did feel compassion for him. She was not a monster.

Even so, it was not the only reason she'd decided to go. She hadn't even realized it until she'd made the choice but... she was dying to get out of this house. She loved her sister but ever since she'd come to live here in the Night Court, she'd felt... smothered. Like she couldn't quite take a full breath.

True, she was comfortable and cared for, had every luxury she might desire but... The others, her sisters especially, still treated her like a fine doll. Delicate and breakable, in need of protection. At first, she had appreciated the security, but now it was almost stifling.

No one ever said so explicitly, but she was hardly permitted to leave the house without an escort, let alone the city. Even with all of the fear and awfulness that had come with the two battles she had now seen (from the sidelines at that, safely tucked away in her tent - with guards) it had almost been a relief to be outside of Velaris.

Beyond the carefully protected city, she had only seen the worst of Prythian thus far. Battlefields and uninhabited parts of territories. She well remembered her sisters descriptions of the Spring Court when she had first returned to them. Of its beauty and peacefulness. She wanted to see it for herself. Perhaps she would ask him to show her. Perhaps it would stir him from whatever depths he had sunk himself into...

---

The heady scent of flowers and the gentle warmth of Spring were the first things she registered when they arrived. Feyre had initially wanted to send one of the Illyrians with her for protection but Elain had insisted it was not necessary. Neither male, she knew, was overly fond of the High Lord, and she did not want to risk provoking a fight when she was there for a different purpose entirely. Feyre and Rhys were also out of the question as they still had a tendency to quarrel with Tamlin.

The compromise, had been the blonde standing at her side, carefully scanning the manor grounds around them as she nearly glowed in the sunlight as golden as her hair.

"Well," Mor said. "It seems most of Tamlin's court still has not returned, though his gardeners, at least, seem to have been hard at work."

Indeed, the gardens were just as exquisite as her sister had described. Even if they did look a bit sparse, having clearly been recently redone, old or dying plants stripped away to give more room for the still healthy ones to grow. There was a riot of color spread all around her and varietals she'd never seen before. She itched to explore, but the low, steady beating that reached her ears from inside the mansion, reminded her why she was here.

Mor waved a hand, gesturing for Elain to stay close as she followed her towards the massive wooden front doors. They opened before they reached them and they were greeted, not by a footman or housekeeper, but by the High Lord himself. Tamlin's expression was guarded, but she could see the flash of relief in his eyes.

"You've come," was all he said.

"As you see," Mor replied tartly. Green eyes flared at her tone, but he refrained from responding in kind.

"Where is he?" Elain asked.

In reply, the High Lord turned on his heel and nodding with his head for them to follow. He led them through the sparsely decorated hall, over checkered marble floors. She could easily imagine how it must have looked before he had destroyed it, though great pains had clearly been taken to restore it as much as possible. She could see the faint cracks that had been patched up, the faded spots of paint and carpet where pictures were now missing and furniture had once sat. It made her sad.

They stopped in front of a large oak door in a shadowy hallway, Tamlin laid his hand on the doorknob but seemed to hesitate. "I should warn you," he said, words little more than a breath so they might not be overheard by the room's occupant. "He- does not look like himself. As you would have known him..."

Even Mor seemed uneasy at this. It was hard for Elain to imagine the male as anything other than the vibrant, kindly one she had met over the years. "I think," she said eventually. "It might be best if I go in alone, for now."

Mor tensed, and even Tamlin seemed uncertain before nodding. "As you wish." He turned the knob and silently pushed the door open, making room for her to pass. Once she entered the room, he shut it behind her with a soft click. On the other side, she could hear whispered arguing which she did her best to ignore as she took in the space before her.

It was a library, she realized, though it had taken a moment for her eyes to adjust to the lower lighting she had not expected when the rest of the house had been full of natural light. No, not a library, the space was too small for that, a study. There was a fire on the far end of the room, a faded green couch spread before it. Colorfully woven rugs covered the floors and large bookcases covered the walls on either side. A scratched wooden desk sat to her left, a pair of mismatched armchairs on the right.

She did not immediately ascertain his location, though she could detect his scent. With soft steps, she padded further into the room, her skirts rustling about her legs the only other sound beyond the crackling fire.

She caught a glimpse of a familiar shade of red over the arm of the couch and moved around it, just barely holding in a gasp when she finally saw him.

"I should warn you... he does not look like himself..."

Indeed, if it were not for the bond that thrummed faintly between them, and the scars that ran down the side of his face, she might not have known him.

Lucien.

Something broke in her as she took him in. His long red hair was loose, draped haphazardly around his face and shoulders and did not look as though it had been washed or brushed in some time. His usually pristine clothing was rumpled and dirty and appeared much looser on him than it ought to. His golden skin was paler than she'd ever seen it, his cheeks not as full as she remembered, making his features look sharper than before. Dark bruises circled under his eyes which stared unblinking at the ceiling and he lay so unnaturally still that for one horrible moment, she was afraid she'd been too late.

Then his chest rose and fell on a breath that might have been a sigh, and his fingers twitched, the bottle he'd been holding beneath them falling to the floor. Empty. As she approached him, the smell of alcohol wafted off of him in heavy waves.

He did not move as she drew closer, did not even seem to register her presence as she knelt on the ground before him, bringing their faces almost level.

"Lucien," she said quietly. He blinked, but did not otherwise respond.

Remembering their first true meeting, she reached inside of herself for that golden thread she tried so hard to keep buried. Following its path to the male before her, she gave it a light tug. He jerked slightly. Finally, his gaze moved oh so slowly in her direction.

His face seemed darker at this angle, shadows from the flickering flames dancing over his mouth and cheeks, glinting off the golden metal of his eye. The russet one, stared blankly at her, so hollow it nearly tore her apart.

Her chest tightened at the utter emptiness she saw there. Whatever had caused this, it wasn't just eating at him- it was consuming him. The bond tugged and pushed between them, instinct demanding she soothe him and she did not fight it as she reached out a hand, softly trailing her fingers along the side of his face, tucking away a strand of hair.

Some unnamed emotion flickered in his eye, there and gone before she could determine its origin. Still, he said nothing. Did nothing. She traced the line of his jaw. "Lucien," she breathed.

His lashes fluttered slightly, chest filling with a deeper breath than before. Still not much of a reaction, but more than the first time she'd said his name.

Again she followed that strand that connected them. When she reached the gate to his side, a massive thing of intricately sculpted iron tangled with vines and umber leaves, she chose a different approach. Rather than tug as she had before, she gently pulled, as though reeling in a line, trying to draw him out of the darkness that held him.

Gradually, the life seemed to return to that molten stare as he focused fully on her for the first time. He blinked, once, twice, then said- his voice deep and scratchy from disuse. "Lady."

She almost sobbed when she heard it and, instead, smiled faintly. "Hello."

"Hello."

She breathed in a slow breath. He was speaking. His gaze never left her face, almost unnerving in its intensity, but he was responding to her. And that was a start.

She wasn't sure why it was the first words out of her mouth. Perhaps it was his too pale skin, or his slightly sunken cheeks, or the clothes that did not fit as they should, but an undeniable urge to care for her mate rose in her as she said "When was the last time you ate?"

---

I'll probably write a part 2 to this but it's late and this was already getting long so, here you go for now 😅

#anon ask #ask box #elucien #elain x lucien

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warriorend · 9 months

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ok actually because i'm bored & procrastinating a shower. i am going to point out parts of this spreadsheet that Directly correlate to each other or demonstrate the opinions of the characters involved in specific events

re: Hivemind & Solaris:

Fabricator & Solaris:

Zor & Prism:

Juniper & Prism (both re: Fabricator)

additional:

(note: not sans the skeleton)

(note x2: it is a throughline with a lot of Prism & Juniper's that they thought Zoraxis was a little...uncomfortable to work in. A lot of their opinions make note of that. Juniper dealt with it through bravado and his acting, Prism dealt with it through focusing on improving her robots & proving their usefulness (this is also why she refers to Phoenix the way she does - it's been a long fucking 24 hours, she's still in the mindset of "create something useful" & the stress is Not helping undo that).

Zor & Juniper:

Handler & Phoenix re: Prism

(Both wanted reconciliation, but Handler had a much more pronounced and betrayed reaction, & Phoenix was just vaguely irritated. Despite being the person Prism was actively trying to kill.)

Handler re: Zor and Sans and Indigo

(pls pardon the fact that the formatting fucked up. screenshot's wide.)

in short: he's scared of all these fuckers. for good reason probably

Sans & Hivemind, re: Handler

& now Indigo gets to be a bigger player in the post bc i'm very fond of blorbo from my brain. biased even

Indigo & Fabricator:

Indigo & Zor re: Solaris

Note: It's actually a very common theme that Indigo is perceptive of people's strengths & usually appreciative of them - they respect Fabricator & Prism for their engineering skills, Hivemind for his dedication, and even Handler they appreciate because he doesn't try to keep harsh control over them. The only people they don't directly name off strengths for are Sans and Zor, but one could argue that their perception of Zor as being a constant threat was a perceived strength. Their opinion of Juniper is convoluted though:

Zor & Sans re: Phoenix/Indigo

there is...an odd dynamic between Zor & Sans & Indigo. It's not particularly friendly, and Sans is very aware that Zor and Indigo were more often at each other's throats than not. But Sans & Indigo got along fine, & right before Indigo disappeared, it cooled down a bit. Indigo was a formidable asset, but they also occasionally allowed themself to be the test dummy for experiments (...more on that later. did you know Phoenix can't physically get drunk or high), and so it created this strange dynamic where nobody here is anywhere near friends But.

bonus: -Phoenix attempting to rationalize Sans being familiar:

-Phoenix & Juniper's opinions on each other, feat. the knowledge that Phoenix often egged Juniper on for fun

#ieytd #indigo as far as character goes is actually fairly like. when they're not being a shit.#they're surprisingly introspective #to be fair when indigo was doing their thing they were like. 25 Max #they were fucking Young

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too-destiny-panda · 10 months

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Wyllvember Day 29: Full Party

A/N: Second to last day! This was fun prompt, mainly because there are times where it literally doesn't make sense to take only three additional people (yes, I understand it's because of scaling, but come one, those difficulty settings are there for a reason!), so I figured I would write about Tav's attempt at breaking that unspoken rule. Credits go to @sagscrib, addtionally tagging @commander-yinello WC: 615

As it often goes when a group is just getting on their feet in an unknown area, only a few go out scouting at a time. There are a number of reasons for this, most of them being that they would draw less attention to themselves while trying to be quiet or such things. Any and all illusions about not sticking out was quickly thrown out the window. In Baldur’s Gate? Sure, few would blink an eye at such an adventuring party (except maybe Lae’zel- though they would likely just shrug and go on about their day), but out here? Where the only bits of civilization were druids and goblins? A stripe of black paint on a white canvas would look less conspicuous. Main point being, keeping the adventuring cap at four people was the ideal.

Which strongly contradicted what their leader was currently trying to do. Usually, they would have simply set out with their three companions, occasionally switching someone out for one purpose or another. Sometimes they would ask Wyll or someone else to join them without realizing they had a full party; in which case they would apologize for their mistake and carry on. Today, for some reason, it was different. Today, they kept insisting the Blade of Frontiers join them despite the fact they already have everyone they would need.

“I truly am flattered by your insistence on my company, but I’m afraid you’re full up.”, he tried to turn them down as he always did. But for some reason, this time, they were having none of it. Their eyes and posture told him they were not backing down from their request.

“No. I understand why we did such a thing when the goblins were still a threat, however they have been dealt with. And we have acquired enough teleportation points in the Underdark not to have to worry about moving form place to place on foot. If necessary, I can dimmish the party. Until then, I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t be able to accompany me. The Shar temple is empty safe for the duergar and the occasional slime. Neither of those things require me to be cautious with how many people I take with me.”

A sudden thought struck them, and they deflated a bit, seemingly realising there may potentially be another reason for his refusal that didn’t relate to the amount of people already following them.

“Unless, of course, you don’t want to come. If that is the case, please do let me know.”

Wyll, of course, was quick to deny, his heart bristling at the thought he gave them a reason to think he wouldn’t accompany them to the end of the world if they asked. As the others also began to question why such an abrupt change was being made to something so routine, he thought back to all those moments of exchanging people from that special little group that got to run around investigating the mysteries on their path. He remembered the way Tav’s eyes would only pass over him when settling on who to switch out, seemingly never even considering making him leave their side. Or the way they seemed so hesitant to ask him to go back to camp, even when he was not suited for whatever fight they were about to encounter. His heart warmed at the thought they would want him next to them at practically all times.

He came back to reality when he realised everyone was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to voice his opinion on the matter. And after careful consideration, he did.

“How about everyone tags along?”

#baldur's gate wyll #wyll #bg3 wyll #wyll ravengard #wyllvember #blue writes

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xiakha · 1 year

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FFXIVWrite2023 Prompt #1 - Envoy

Her very existence made Asahi's skin crawl.

Every glance at her guileless face, every whiff of her putrid sea-salt-and-scallions stench, every scrape of her rasping voice on his ears... if he were forced to get close enough, Emperor forbid, to touch her, the bile that increasingly built up in his throat may just come spewing out. It took all of his learned grace, humility, and manners to entreat with such a miserable wretch, to humor her attempts at being civilized.

Because of course, what Asashi saw most in the Warrior of Light was everything he hated about himself.

Here was a leatherneck salt encrusted sea-bumpkin playing at hero and diplomat, barely able to speak the common tongue of Eorzea or comprehend the complexities of the realpolitik unfolding before her, and he was supposed to speak to her, eye to eye, like she could have anything worthwhile to listen to. The fact that the Domans and Sharlayans even gave her the time of day, and, Emperor save them, stopped to listen to her opinion, was more than enough proof that this farcical little journey into the fetid backwaters that Asahi extricated himself from was little more than a cruel joke on everyone involved.

He had heard she was some kind of brute and monster, but Asahi wasn't prepared for how utterly pathetic she was as well. Sitting there, in a jaunty red hat and matching red formal military garb, looking all the world like a pig dressed in finery, eyes-wide slack-jawed clueless to the world around her, glancing about fearfully like a newborn deer, she didn't belong anywhere near this meeting with the so-called Lord of Doma, Hien, save as a low-bowing servant to be dismissed as soon as the speaking began. But here she was, sitting to Hien's immediate right side, a seat of great honor. Surely the real Warrior of Light was out there laughing it off at this bait and switch. Surely the true savior of savages and killer of men was somehow watching from afar.

Surely Lord Zenos was felled by a greater foe that this!

But at no point did the opposing party relent on this bit. Not a single person broke character. Not once did he observe a wayward snigger or inopportune face fault. He waited in vain to be let in on the joke. And thus had to conclude he was not being made a fool of, that all that he dealt with here were fools.

She represented everything he walked away from that he had burned away from his body, willingly of course, as he was forged anew into the sas Brutus he became. Provincial and artless, she would never survive a moment in a Garlean school courtyard, they'd slaughter her through a thousand cuts by the tongue with the relentless teasing and bullying she'd suffer. Thick of tongue, the lilt of her voice made Asahi almost wish to mock her every time she opened her mouth. He didn't, lest his own tongue betray him and return to its rustic roots. In a way, he pitied her, coddled for so long by people who should have known better. She'd been hidden away from the cruelties of reality, clearly, and now she was dying to have someone put her into her place.

...And yet, when Asahi finally had a moment to speak with her, holding his breath of course to avoid breathing in the miasma that surrounded her, she did not quiver or draw back. At first he thought maybe she hadn't understood his words, but the confidence she exuded overpowered anything else she may have exuded and overpowered Asahi's preconceived notions as well. He taunted her to little avail, her hand did not leave the grip of the curious rapier she lashed to her belt, but nor did she draw the weapon. To his provocations she had only one thing to say:

"What a cheeky little brat you turned out to be."

A brat!

Him!

She thought him a little brat?? Someone so utterly beneath him, so utterly unsophisticated even the worst finishing school within Garlemald's borders wouldn't dare set a brush anywhere close to her gnat-infested purple mane, would dare call him, a man who rose up to and surpassed all Garlean standards to the point that they ran out of titles to grant, a cheeky little brat???

As if he needed more reason to hate every single last mote of Emperor-forsaken aether in her barbarous filthy hide.

Oh but a personal insult was good fuel for the fire raging within him. The inferno that he stoked in preparation to engulf Doma for its insolence against Garlemald. He'd accept this slight, for he was prepared to repay it a thousand fold.

Xiao pushed up her hat to scratch at her head (without a single bug on it or near it, mind). What a piece of work that so called ambassador was.

#ffxiv #ffxivwrite #FFxivWrite2023 #wordvomit #a short scene #asahi sas brutus #xiao longbao #here we go again #another month of daily fics i guess!

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skz317cb97 · 2 years

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This is gonna be a whole ass rant I'm so sorry but....

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PEOPLE COMFORTABLY DEAD NAMING ME LATELY!

Story time...

Yesterday a regular of mine (that I've actually complained about on here before) came in and said "Hi I'm here for my appointment with 'dead name.'" ALL of my stylists have only EVER known me as Cal, NEVER my dead name. So Christina (who transferred from the other salon with me) was like "Oh you mean Cal!" At this point I was walking up front to pull her back and she was like,

"Ooooh yeaaa I don't call her that." Now I'm USUALLY really REALLY chill about my pronouns and whatever as long as people call me by my preferred name. Even with my name, with my clients, I've been a bit lax on but when I heard her say that it irritated me to no end. So I said,

"No one here knows me by that name, they aren't gonna know who you're talking about unless you call me Cal." And she was like,

"Ohhh I just can't." Now I was trying to be professional and polite AND stand my ground so I used my #1 argument when I'm in this situation, which is,

"Well my mom named me and she calls me Cal so I think if she can you can also." Then she says,

"You know I'm not good with change." Still I'm TRYING to be polite, I've done this woman's hair for like 10 years and have considered her a friend for a long time. I said,

"You could try." And she just smiled and said,

"Luckily you love meee." ALL I could think was 'I don't love anyone enough to let them disrespect me' but instead I just dropped it and pulled her back. The whole haircut was awkward and tense and she kept trying to conversate and called me 'dead name' a couple more times in my chair. I didn't really say anything and just let her talk. When we were done I checked her out and USUALLY I'd walk around and give her a hug goodbye. I DID NOT. After she left I walked in the back and Christina was there. I said,

"I am..." and Christina immediately was like,

"I know I couldn't believe her just now!" So for someone that doesn't like change she's going to be really upset when I stop taking her calls and texts and she has to find someone else to do her hair because I will NOT ANYMORE after that. She could have dealt with little change and called me Cal now she deals with BIG change and finds a new stylist. She also has hella hard hair to work with and is stupid picky so good luck to her on her new journey.

Then today another regular who's hair I've done for like 10 years came in.

"I'm here for 'dead name'." My assistant manager had heard about the incident the day before so she said,

"Oh! You mean Cal!" And he went.

"Oh yea Cal." No problem a slip, it happens, no harm no foul, thank you for correcting yourself. But then he accidently called me tonight instead of his ex mother inlaw because he still has me saved as 'dead name' in his phone after almost 3 years of going by Cal. He went on a whole schpeal about a family situation before he realized it was me on the phone. So he asked my opinion about the issue anyway and I gave it to him. (Big shocker he was the one wrong!) Then he proceeded to go on about an email he got from someone at work (he's a cop🙄) and how it had pronouns at the bottom so I was like,

"Yea, lots of people put their pronouns in their bio on socials or at the bottom of emails..." He cuts me off and goes,

"Well they didn't 2 years ago." So I went to finish my sentence.

"Yea probably not but a lot of businesses are trying to be more inclus-" Cuts me off again.

"Well they didn't do that before." Again I tried to say,

"Yes but business are trying to be more inclusive for trans and non-binary-" Again.

"Well no one used to." It was like talking to a fucking wall. I was like,

"You KNOW I wrote my pronouns on my mirror at the other salon." And he groaned and was like,

"Yeaaa I know, I don't get it. Binary I thought that meant book. I don't know." Fucking FACE. PALM. I was so pissed by the time I finally got off the phone with him. I just can't with this shit. I'm TOO easy going about it for people to be so blatantly disrespectful. I'm over it.

#skz317cb97 #cal 🖤#tw: transphobia #tw: dead naming

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darkdevasofdestruction · 1 month

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Chapter 7 - The Tiger's Invitation

As soon as they arrived back to Azuchi Castle, Nobunaga had Mitsunari and Katrina gather all the warlords so they could have a War Council, whilst him and Hideyoshi dealt with the prisoners and made plans. As previously, they went to sit down in two parallel lines, waiting for the supreme leader to take his spot above them all.

A quiet sense of restlessness took over the atmosphere and everyone was awaiting the beginning of the meeting, but the stillness was almost insufferable, and yet, no one moved a muscle and stood in place as if they were dignified statues. The woman, as well, didn't feel comfortable moving, and so she closed her eyes, to process the events of the previous days and put together her thoughts and emotions in a rational way, the same as she always does.

The never-ending wait was ceased as soon as the sliding door was opened and the two warlords occupied their positions, allowing Hideyoshi to give a brief report to everyone present, so they will be aware of the situation and all its details.

"So, what's the name, Mitsunari? Don't be dramatic, spit it out already." Ieyasu sighed, bothered and annoyed by the slow pace.

"It's the former abbot of Hongan-ji, Kennyo." as she already knew, Mitsunari confirmed that name officially for everyone to hear.

"Hongan-Ji? That's the temple-fortress of those Ikko-Ikki warrior monks, right? They picked a fight with Nobunaga in the first place! And now they're holding a grudge because they lost?" Masamune whistled in surprise.

"Is that what happened, Nobunaga? In my time, things went a little different. I apologise for my surprise." Kat opened her eyes for the first time since the beginning of the meeting.

"What do you mean by that?" came Ieyasu's voice.

"In my time, history tells us that Nobunaga destroyed everything in his path, if they didn't want to comply to his orders. He'd kill every man, woman and child, innocent or not, and he'd burn temples down just because they were in his way. As wasteful as that sounds, that is recorded as the unquestionable truth. We don't know anything about a Kennyo, but the sect of warrior monks is known to have fought and lost against you. Then again... In my time Kenshin and Shingen were already dead by the time of your assassination, and when I saw them, they looked in their prime, so maybe things really are so different from what I know." she spoke in an aloof tone, which earned silence from all the warlords who were speechless as the way she was speaking.

Nobunaga, on the other hand, had a small smirk on his face. "And what do you think is the truth, then? By now, you should have a good enough judgement on my character, do you not?"

"What did you do to the prisoners?" she asked in the same flat voice as before.

"I let them go. I sent them back to Kennyo with a message." he replied in a strong manner, imposing, rather.

"And that is?" Katrina tilted her chin upwards, an amused expression like that of a sly fox taking over.

"That he has enough time to say his last prayers before his funeral is prepared." the smile on her face widened just a little bit, twisting into a wicked one.

"How cruel, Nobunaga. My opinion is that he won't have enough time to say all his prayers. He's a dead man." she chuckled, her hand to her lips to hide it.

"You are calling me cruel, and yet, you are the sole person here laughing at another's misfortune." he pointed out so casually, as if teasing her.

She, instead, merely shrugged, completely unbothered. "I never claimed to be a Saint, did I? Anyway, do we have any clue as to where his headquarters or location is? Or are we going around searching blindly?" she adopted a more serious note now.

"I hear he ran away and nothing is known about his whereabouts." Ieyasu answered her.

"Unknown he may be, and yet, he still had information about Nobunaga's retreat location and that he had no warlords around him - Not only that, he also managed to burn the temple to the ground and almost killed him while unconscious. That's no easy feat in itself." she pointed out the elephant in the room.

"It's almost as if someone is leaking information to the enemy." Hideyoshi leaned forward, glaring at Mitsuhide, as per usual.

"My, you couldn't possibly be referring to me, could you, Hideyoshi? There's only so many sides I can pick at once, you know?" the silver haired man went up to his feet and smirked provokingly at the man who sprung to his feet as if burnt by his volcanic personality.

"Alright, children, that's enough playing, it's time for your bed time." Katrina sighed, getting up and pushing the two men away from each other. "If you guys start doubting each other, an inevitable chaos is going to happen among Nobunaga's lines and that will only give the enemy a significant advantage over us. Anyway, if you're done with this meeting, then we should end. It's pretty late and we need some rest, I'd say." she explained, letting her arms fall back to her side.

"I declare this War Council to be over. You may return to your duties." Nobunaga got up and everyone bowed as he left the room, followed by Hideyoshi as if he was an abandoned puppy.

"Is Hideyoshi his pet or what?" Kat let out an amused exhale watching the two leave.

"To this day, I'm not sure either." Mitsuhide chuckled, walking next to the red head. "How about we have a drink and discuss further into the situation? Lady Kat, you may join us as well, should you not be too exhausted." everyone else around got up, getting together.

"Sure, sounds good." she nodded, following everyone in another large room where they had some tea and sake inside the circle they created as they sat down.

"So, what happened at the bath house anyway?" Masamune asked, very curious.

"I treated Nobunaga's fake injury, we got attacked, the attackers got defeated. The end." she spoke casually with a yawn as she poured tea for everyone.

"Lady Kat, are you not bothered at all by the fact that you were so close to death?" Mitsunari asked, surprised.

"Hm... No, not really. It's my fault for not noticing the enemy's blade, after all. Nobunaga saved my life by taking another. That's how it works in this place anyway. I was pissed that I didn't pay attention and that I could have lost my life, but in the end, I got lucky." she shrugged, sipping from her tea.

"Close to death...? What happened?" Ieyasu peered into the issue.

"An assassin started clinging to Lady Kat's feet, begging to be spared, all that while hiding a knife. Lady Kat got flustered and uncomfortable and tried to back away, so she didn't notice the threat, therefore Lord Nobunaga immediately took action and killed him. I was afraid at first it must have looked like an unnecessary murder in your eyes, Lady Kat, but you seemed to come to the rationalization very quickly and vent out your anger on the corpse." the innocent-looking warlord explained, making her look away, a bit embarrassed.

"Enough about that. I admit my negligence, now let it go." she muttered, sipping tea again.

"Lady Kat is such an unpredictable little fox, wouldn't you say? To think that behind this innocent facade of hers, such a grounded and strict revenge-stricken person would lie." Mitsuhide teased her with his snake-like words.

"Hey, that's enough. You're making it into a much bigger issue than it is." she sighed, annoyed at their childishness.

"You stick out like a sore thumb everywhere you go, Kat, it's impossible not to talk about you." Masamune laughed at her. "Not only you resemble a Kitsune, but you don't care about differences in social status, and you have such vast knowledge in areas that no woman would venture. It is as if you come from an era where there is only peace, and you are vehemently opposed to killing, whereas to us, this idea is a mere illusion that is on the same level as paradise." he began to slur a bit, making her steal a glance to Mitsuhide and noticed the small empty cup that once held alcohol hiding under his sleeve.

"That is because that was my reality. All of you are already aware of my time-travelling accident, therefore, that paradise you are talking about, is true for me. Adaptability is the skill that every creature on Earth is born with, because if you cannot adapt, you are dead, no matter what time or place you have to exist in. Once again, you are all exaggerating everything way too much. Not to mention... When did I ever say I was opposed to killing? Do you really think I'd just lower my collar and say - Hey, enemy, there you go, go ahead and take off my head - ? You must all be delusional. I'm not a child, I know that if I want to survive, others have to die in my place, and that I may even have to go as far as to take lives with my own hands. That's. Life." she strictly reprimanded them with her words.

"There's no way someone as pacifistic and hell-bent on saving lives would have the guts to take one." although Ieyasu scoffed at her words, he soon found himself with a blade to his neck, making everyone widen their eyes.

"This instrument is called a scalpel. It is used for surgeries. Cutting into a living being's body. I am a doctor. I know how to fix creatures, and I know equally, just as well, how to break them. Right now, the blade is pressed to your carotid artery that is less than 4 cm below the skin level. Should I sever it, imminent death can occur in 5 to 15 seconds. Impressed, aren't you? All I have to do is apply a little bit of pressure, and blood will start slowly tricking down your neck from slicing your skin. A bit more pressure, and... Goodnight, America." Katrina then slowly took away the scalpel from his neck and grabbed his hand, slicing the tip of his finger with so much ease as if it was the katana he was wielding. "Just a bit of pressure, and look how much blood comes out, just with this little thingy. Wonderful, don't you think?" a sly smirk painted her face as she wiped the blood from the small blade. "Imagine what I can do with a real sword."

"No wonder Nobunaga's so smitten with her, she's so unpredictable and cool! Ahh, if only I was first, I could have taken her back home with me to Oshu." Masamune started swaying on the spot, making everyone chuckle at him.

"Stop speaking nonsense just because you're drunk." Ieyasu grumbled at him in annoyance.

"This is tea, you know?" Masamune defended himself, making the two fox-like individuals try to hide their amused smiles. "This tea is weird... It smells like alcohol. Did someone put alcohol in my tea?" leaving the collapsed man on the floor to fend for himself or just fall asleep already, everyone went to rest until the next day came a bit too fast for their liking.

Or at least, that was what Kat was thinking once she heard that blasted rooster croaking out as if he had a sore throat. Damn, she wanted to make him into soup, how annoying to be awoken like that when all you want is sleep. Nah, forget it, sleep is fine. She doesn't have coffee here, why should she bother getting up at 5 or 6 in the damn morning for no reason? Sleep is so much better. And that's how she ended up sleeping in until noon. She's a pro at adulting, someone give her a medal.

Ah, but wait, what's this paper next to her on the ground? Was it always here? No way. Oh, it's folded too, intriguing.

The curiosity got the better of her and she crawled out of the futon, quickly opening the paper - The tiger and the fox met by the lake under the moonlight - Was written there.

Such a bold message, Kat chuckled to herself, realising that Sasuke must have planted this invitation sometime that day to show that Shingen wanted to meet up with her, how adorable. The fox shall comply, then.

Until then, she really needed some food and to have a light chat with Nobunaga. No matter how you put it, he still saved her and she didn't have the chance to thank him. She couldn't say she managed to change her reticence about going to his room again, after all the mess that happened every time she went by - Nevertheless, that's how it is. This time, if he annoys her, she will just get the hell away from his room without bothering to answer to his provoking.

After a fulfilling breakfast-lunch and a cup of warm milk with honey, she felt content, so going to his room wasn't such a stress anymore. Warm milk always wins. She announced her presence and when she was allowed to enter, she stepped inside the room, noticing the man dressed leisurely, his kimono opened at the chest, yet a haori draped over his shoulders to keep him warm, and he was reading at the table. She thought he looked graceful in the light of the moon, yet the daylight made him look just as beautiful.

"Katrina. What brings you here?" he asks, one of his hands hanging inside the kimono, while the other was hanging in the air, holding the book.

Looking at him with a relaxed, passive expression, hoping her usual bitch face won't take over soon, she sat down in front of him casually. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life again. Due to my negligence and lack of understanding of this new world, I was not aware of the possibility of someone hiding a knife like that while begging me to be spared. And, uh... I may have overreacted a bit. I know it's not good to desecrate a dead body like that... And I never really lose my temper either... I just kinda lost it. Sorry you had to witness that." she looked away, uncomfortably, only to hear him laughing at her with the same low and vibrant allure that only he has.

"Anyone who feels the need to apologise for displaying a needless, yet heartfelt act of minor aggression, such as you did, can't be from around here. Only someone like you, brought up in a world of peace, can get impulsive enough to act up despite your rationale, yet still apologise for venting out your anger. In this world, deceit and betrayals happen more often than anything - I doubt something like that is a common occurrence in your time as well - Regardless, it is what it is." he explained in a way that it didn't feel patronising at all.

"Actually... Have you heard of that expression - The Good Samaritan - ? I don't think you did, I doubt Christian envoys came by yet, but it basically refers to a person who does good because that's what they feel like. You can call that altruistic too, but the truth is, I don't believe altruism is genuine, if you don't expect anything in return, such as at least a thank you, or someone's gratitude or mutual respect. You'd be surprised how often betrayal, deceit and ignorance happens, even among friend, although, not to the same extent as in here, we don't kill people anymore, which is a plus, I guess. It's a shallow world I live in, and anyone doing good deeds is met with mockery or the greed of others, as sometimes, it's worse within a family too. It's pretty draining." she sighed raking her fingers through her hair.

"You make it seem as if there is a war of a completely different degree in your world. A micro-war, I suppose. You mentioned you live in an era of peace, so why is there room for such selfish and unnecessary behaviour among peers who are supposed to be friendly with each other? As for the messy family issues... I suppose I can understand. Whilst I acknowledge the existence of normal families out there, among the common folk, family killing each other, especially siblings, is as common as can get. The fight and thirst for power and rank is never-ending." the man answered, looking somewhat pensive.

"What is the use of fights if there is no war? People have so much free time and peace in my time that they don't value kindness or simply passivity anymore. If you can't be nice to another, why do you choose to be a menace to them, instead of ignoring their existence altogether? It's called rudeness. People get a certain kind of rise out of making others miserable. There is barely any love and understanding out there, not even the basic tolerance, instead, they all act like jackals." Kat muttered, looking down at her fingers and fiddling with them. "Families are no different. Even with no fight for power anymore, they still find stupid reasons to play on their own inferiority-complexes and bring others down, belittle them, abuse them. Children aren't the slaves of their parents and should have no obligation to take care of them until they die. I didn't ask, nor want to be born. It was your own selfish idea. Deal with it." the girl shrugged, looking out at the beautiful sky. "For some reason, since I've come here, I felt a certain kind of... Peace of mind that I haven't experienced in a very long time. I wonder why."

"Why are you really here, Katrina? Were you in need of a person to whom you may confide your heart to?" Nobunaga asked, frowning, looking at the girl's widening eyes. It was clear to him that she wasn't completely aware of how honest she was being, nor how personal her words got.

"Uhm... No, I... It's fine. I didn't mean to get so philosophic, I guess. No. I... I just wanted to come over and thank you for saving me. That's all. Now that I did, I will leave you back to your work. Sorry for disturbing." the red head tried to get up, but was quickly pulled down by the wrist, as the man caught her arm with incredible reflexes.

"How come you poured your heart out to a man you seemingly dislike? Saving a life doesn't automatically earn love, trust and adoration." he retorted, looking into her pained, green eyes. "I don't hate you. Just because we occasionally disagree with each other's world views, doesn't automatically mean I hate or dislike you. I think you are a very good leader and you are known in history as being the first real unifier of Japan. Now that you're alive, you can truly make your dream come true, although it will come with no shortage of problems or hardships." the girl quickly evaded the real question and took away her arm from his grip.

"Somehow, I find it rather intriguing, if not, adorable how you try to run away from the main point of this conversation. Katrina, do you have the urge to kill? You had to restrain your emotions and urges your whole life with no way of letting go of them. One who's always so genuinely calm all the time couldn't possibly get revenge like that one a corpse. Your frustrations are trying to get out, Katrina." the more he spoke, the more Katrina's frown deepened, showing her worry and fright.

"...I would be seen as a criminal or some sort of psychopath if I were to even think about speaking about it." she whispered, biting her bottom lip. "Besides! I'm a doctor! I can't kill people when my role is to save them! I'm not a hypocrite. There are millions of people who get angry, but they don't feel the need to take another's life. Don't try to justify my dreadful impulses, it's wrong." the girl protested, shooting to her feet and hugging her arms, feeling conflicted.

"You said you felt peaceful in this time as you've never felt before. Perhaps you are merely a lost soul who's finally found her home. There's no more worry for you anymore, all you have to do is live. Whether you want to return to your world or not, that's simply your choice... But why would you return to a place that you do not find a home, and where nobody is waiting for you? You may have been barely brought here, yet people already find your presence to be imperative here." the warlord's words, despite being as passive and strong as always, seemed to touch her where she needed most.

"Imperative? Me? What in the world are you talking about? No matter how you look at it, my existence doesn't make a difference anywhere I go. I am just a woman. I didn't think you'd be one to sweet talk." the girl turned her head to look at him with a confused expression.

"I don't lie, Katrina, the implication is insulting. If you don't believe my words, I invite you to convince yourself. It's that simple. Our conversation for today is done until further consideration, you may go." he seemed pretty annoyed, Kat thought, as she looked shyly into his dark eyes. He didn't like being doubted, she realised, and somehow, she felt guilty and fidgety, so she merely nodded her head.

"Alright." she muttered, not moving from her spot for a few seconds. "I'm sorry." she continued, leaving another short pause. "For disturbing and bothering you. It's always insightful speaking to you. Take care." and with that, the girl quietly left the room, pondering over her thoughts.

Was it true what he said, or did he merely try to make her feel better? No, that doesn't sound much like Nobunaga... Or does it? She truly wasn't sure anymore. However, those words, they still echo through her head.

Killing.

Oh, the amount of times she felt such a dark fire inside her body, so bad that she wanted to grab the nearest object and bash someone's skull in until it turns into nothing but a mushy soup.

Gosh, no, that's not right. That's not human. She can't think like that. She can't feel like that. She's not aggressive, she's not violent, she's not a bad person. Truly, she's not. She can't be. It's horrible, it's not normal, it really can't be true.

Okay, calm. Calm down. Go out, look at the clouds, sniff a flower and enjoy the ticklish feeling of the grass touching her feet. Yes, that's perfect. She can't do that at home, but here, she can. And she can be alone too, without anyone bothering her, and yet, if she wants company, she has enough people to choose from.

Not to mention, that night, she's supposed to meet with Mr. Shingen and there's no way that's not gonna be a fun experience. She enjoyed chatting with him before, there's no way that was going to be a boring experience, clearly.

She better get ready, then - A Kitsune has to look pretty when meeting with a Tiger, after all.

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