#and honestly wanting to 'fix' it. to 'earn' the acceptance of the one who abandoned him

[classiqals]

{mahesh jadu, 40, agendered, they/them, sometimes he/him} We are so glad to see you safe, ROYAL ADVISOR ARIYAN SIDDHARTHA BANERJEE of THE MUGHAL EMPIRE! It’s dangerous out in the world these days, but I hear that you are PERSUASIVE and CALCULATING enough to handle it. Just don’t let your SNEAKINESS bring you down! Stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out THAT YOU WILL STOP AT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SECURE YOURSELF A CROWN OF YOUR OWN.

BASICS;

nicknames:  ari, to those few he is close with

sexuality:  pansexual

relationship: married to rostam abdul, shah of persia/sultan of turkey

date of birth: nov 9th

zodiac sign: scorpio

moral alignment: lawful evil

hobbies: reading, storytelling, puzzles, games of strategy, debate, fashion, singing (they have a beautiful voice), music, psychology, conspiracy theories, power, adoration.

dislikes: dancing, early mornings, not being listened too, authority. those who doubt them. childish adults. selfish wannabes.

languages spoken: Arabic, Hindi, Persian, Turkish, English, Egyptian, and some Spanish and French, barely passable Chinese.

politics/loyalty: absolutely no loyalty to anyone whatsoever aside from themself, honestly. would betray anyone they know at this moment in time for their own personal gain.

DETAILS;

the family banerjee has been upholstered upon the palace walls of the mughal empire for a century, maybe more; their names are in every record book, soulful eyes in the background of every haunted mirror. loyalists the the throne dating back nearly as long as the sharma family; as the mughal empire itself. they are, or so ariyan believes their name to be, synonymous with the throne. but now the sharma have fallen and it's a new family in charge.

and in turn; oh, have they upheld their duty set before them. eldest of six, ariyan knew the role that they would eventually come to take on, and underwent exhaustive training to be a brilliant, sparkling mind, well enough to make the ancestors proud. they lived and breathed strategy and psychology.

fast forward to finally settling into the position as advisor, a place as destined by the stars, and watching as a young empress takes over and becomes a leader worth fighting for. or so- the world sees, but there is always ariyan in the background, pulling the strings. they fixed the mistakes. they solved the problems. they got their hands dirty. they made things, or people, disappear, and they always ensured that their empress stayed free of the trouble it may bring.

but this was no easy feat, especially not as the little family grow, and soon ariyan found himself cleaning the mess of not one, but three. and this went on... and on... and on. they hate the lovers, they are beginning to hate the empress, even. they want power for themselves.

so they have accepted the request to restart a betrothal to the crown sultan of turkey; then turned regent of persia, for now. this suits ariyan, though they still fester a bit of a grudge for being abandoned for another, when things were going well, too. oh, no matter... ariyan figures this gives additional access to three thrones now. all that would need to happen is for something tragic to happen.

and tragedy did strike. taking advantage of the events of the reckoning, ariyan used this opportunity to eliminate enemies, and had an accidental hand in the fall of the sharma line; even having involvement with the empress' death. panicked and unsure, ariyan hurried to wed their betrothed, and was quick to set their sites on climbing the ladder outside of their home, while trying their best to stay in good with the new bhati royals as an advisor.

efforts not in vain; ariyan earned the trust of their husband over the last year, and while rostam is securing the turkey court under himself, he has left ari in charge of persia.

a very likable person, ariyan is not what you'd primarily expect a villain of this kind to be. charming, extremely intelligent, well-versed in psychology, and an absolute mastermind of a planner, they do make a very valuable asset to anyone. some may even call ariyan gentle if they weren't too close.

[britishassistant]

I'm curious: how did the rest of the villains find out that Crowley is Yuu's bio dad? Did Azul/Leviathan let it slip during the next villain's meeting (I have a feeling some also use it on occasion as an excuse to complain about certain heroes and it's one of the few times they don't fight/argue with each other) since Crowley only seemed to make that "don't tell anyone" threat to the twins? How would they have reacted to this revelation and how does Crowley either deal with it or twist it into his favor?

“I want to tell the other six.”

Azul stops and stares at the reporter. They keep walking, hugging their arms close to their body.

“A-are you serious?” He sputters.

“Yes.” They turn and fix him with a level stare. “It’d be better for them to just hear it from me straight, rather than if they find out during a more high stress situation where people could get hurt.”

“Of course, because there’s no way the situation wouldn’t get out of hand once those guys hear about this.” Azul mutters sourly, walking so he’s alongside them. “It’ll go just as smoothly as one of our League picnics.”

He accepts the gentle nudge to the side that earns him as they continue their journey to the exit.

“It’s not like I’m going to tell any heroes, the civilians, or Great Seven forbid, my boss’s boss. I’m not stupid.” The reporter looks down at their shoes. “It’s just. Better for them to hear it from me than to hear it from him.”

“From hi—?” Oh, they have to be joking. “Yuu. You can’t be suggesting that you’re willing to expose a secret of this magnitude to the people who could view you as a rival to their ultimate ambitions so recklessly, just because you dislike Crowley-sama.”

The reporter’s expression twists. “It’s not just ‘dislike’. Besides, do you know what he’s probably doing to Jade and Floyd right now?”

He shoots them a suspicious glance. “And what, pray tell, is that?”

“The stupid bird’ll be finding a way to twist this whole thing into a way for him to blackmail you, rather than the other way round.” Their steps become more akin to stomping, shoulders rounding as they hunch in on themself. “That’s what he always does. It’ll never be his fault, never his problem, he’s just soooo kind and sooo gracious, it’s always your fault for daring to try and make something of yourself outside of his plans for you, you’re the selfish one, you’re the ungrateful one, you’re the self-destructive one, exposing yourself to all those dangerous supervillains that he’s just trying to protect you from!”

Azul can only blink in befuddlement as Yuu exhales harshly at the end of their rant. The reporter must catch sight of his expression, because they sigh and begin again in a slightly calmer tone of voice.

“That’s one of the things the old bird tried to use to control me, you know. After he met me for the first time in twenty-two years.” Yuu scoffs, bitterly. “He claimed that you all were guaranteed to find out about me and kill me, or worse, to take my place as his successor. That is, unless I abandoned everything I loved and worked for to go ‘live’ under his protection and ‘defend my birthright’, as he put it.”

Azul’s mouth works silently for a moment.

He wants to deny it vehemently, to sputter at the sheer audacity of Crowley to think that Azul could do such a thing to Yuu—

Except, whispers a small part of his brain, would you have really been so kind, back when all you knew of Yuu was that they were a cute reporter who poked their nose into supervillain business? If you knew that cute, nosy reporter could be a threat to your ambitions back then, can you honestly say you wouldn’t have done your best to get them out of your way by any means necessary?

He doesn’t like the answer.

So Azul just swallows to try and find his voice again. “He...he may have a point, you know. With some of the others. Maybe not all, but. Some.”

“I know.” The reporter keeps rubbing their arms, like they’re cold. “But hey, at least it’ll beat the suspense of waiting to find out!”

Azul blinks, trying to digest that sentence and the false cheer that accompanied it as they near their destination.

“You’ve—you’ve been scared of that all this time, haven’t you?” He mutters, as they stop in front of the door to the outside. “Whenever you got kidnapped.”

The reporter lets out a suspiciously wet sounding laugh, dabbing at their eyes with the sleeve of their jacket. “It was worst with my first kidnapping by Royal Flush, back when all this started, because I had no idea what he wanted from me. At least when I got into snooping around on everyone else’s schemes later on, I knew you guys’d be more likely to kidnap me for that rather than anything else.”

Azul massages the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He thinks he can practically feel his blood pressure rising. “I thought you were supposed to be the stable one out of all of us.”

That actually gets him a real, honest laugh. “With how little sleep I get? Azul, please.”

They linger at the door for a while, until they hear a car pull up outside and honk it’s horn.

“You’re really going through with this?” He asks them, resigned.

The reporter swallows, hands trembling slightly, but nod, resolute. “Yes. It’s the best option for everyone here.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.” He grumbles. “Just. Promise me. Promise me you’ll tell me when and where you plan to do this.”

Yuu blinks. “Why wouldn’t I? I was planning on asking you, Jade and Floyd to come with me anyway.”

“I won’t accept you being stubborn over this, I’ll draw up a contract if I have—” Wait, hold on, what had they just said? “What–but–why–what??”

“Well, you haven’t exactly being trying to make a contract with me so that you can become the heir instead, or murder me for it on the way out.” Yuu glances up at him, almost...shyly? “I figured that meant I could trust you, at least.”

Oh Great Seven, please don’t let his heart explode from this. It’s pounding so fast in his chest it feels like it might.

“A t-terrible decision really.” He hears himself say, and wants to bang his head against the wall the moment the words are out of his mouth.

Yuu laughs again, almost gently. “Well, I am known for making those. I think I can live with this one.”

And on that bombshell, the reporter slips out of the lair’s door and into the taxi that will hopefully see them safely home.

Azul watches the car pull away, and then closes the door. He turns around and goes to find the first pair of minions he can, ordering them to tail the car and call him immediately if any of the other six supervillains show signs of trying to stage a kidnapping en route.

Azul then strides further into the lair, mind whirling with all the favors he can call in and strings that he can pull.

If he’s going to be ensuring that his naive little reporter is able to go through with this insane plan safely, then he needs to be prepared to be able to defend them against the six potential threats they’ll be up against.

[katsidhe]

1,2,15

1. What's an unpopular ship you like?

Sam/Amelia 💕 they deserve the WORLD. They deserve every single fuzzy over-saturated flashback their little hearts desire. They’ve earned it. their connection is prickly and complicated and tentative and then so genuine and mature. The backlash against them, from Dean, from the narrative, and from fandom, only emphasizes how unreasonable and hostile that the environment Sam was trying to escape truly is.

2. What's a character that you dislike?

Claire is the first to mind but I’ve complained enough about her recently. I liked Charlie in s7, but I hated how she returned with, for some reason, a gleeful and naive enthusiasm for hunting. Like, she broke her arm and nearly died in 7.20 and said under no uncertain terms that she didn’t want to be involved in any of this bullshit: what happened to that? It’s actually a kinda similar thing to Claire, where I liked her until her legitimate concerns and prior characterization got overwritten in favor of Rah Rah Winchesters. I even prefer AU Charlie to s8-10 Charlie for this reason.

I am also Bobby-skeptical. He has his moments, but the most I ever cared about him was in 7.10 because Sam got super sad.

15. Worst thing each member of TFW has done?

There are several different ways I could answer this.

They’re all guilty of murdering a ton of people, which is probably the worst thing they’ve all done, objectively speaking. Extrajudicial killing isn’t exactly a morally upright hobby in the best of times; neither is torture, and they’ve all done plenty of both. The innocent vessels of various angels and demons are probably the least defensible in this category. Sometimes it’s in the heat of the moment and it’s more justifiable; sometimes (eg Jeffrey in 7.15, the nurse in 4.22 and whatever offscreen demons were bled out in 5.22) it’s not. The ways in which they become jaded and casual about all this collateral damage in later seasons might be their worst collective moral decline.

But let’s set that aside and talk about more personal and intentional “worst things”.

Cas: breaking Sam’s wall. It’s an intentional and cruel act of deeply personal betrayal; Cas knew Sam would suffer even if he thought he could fix it later; and it wasn’t necessary. It was an indefensible and irreparable escalation. Runners up: his treatment of Claire/Jimmy in 4.20; the purges/murders in Heaven. Though it’s honestly hard for me to rail too hard against the latter given how deeply corrupt the whole apparatus is, and how fucking dangerous angels/the apocalyptic machine in general is.

The stupidest thing Cas has ever done is saying yes to Lucifer in 11.10 without any contingency plan or even warning Sam and Dean beforehand. If you asked Cas through the years about the worst thing he’s ever done, he’d answer the Apocalypse assist in s5, breaking Sam’s wall/betraying Dean as one metacrime in s7-8, killing his brethren in s9-11, and what he did to Jimmy in s12+.

Dean: Killing Cyrus Stine. He doesn’t have a good reason, or really any reason at all, besides his own emotional torment. If I had a nickel for every time Dean was about to execute a teenager because he was having an emotion, I’d have, like, five nickels, which is a fair start on a load of laundry. Obvious runner up is Gadreel, which narrowly misses first place only because, and this is true, child murder is bad.

The stupidest thing Dean’s ever done is accept the Mark without a second thought. If you asked Dean through the years about the worst thing he’s ever done, he’d say letting Sam die in s3, torturing in Hell in s4-5, letting Sam jump into Hell in s6-8, letting Sam attempt the trials in s9-10… you get the picture. Dean’s guilt is for all the wrong reasons.

Sam: all the par-for-the-course extrajudicial torture/murder aside, Sam really just… doesn’t do as many specific atrocities. So I’ll give the award to him locking away Jack in 14.19, and his general complicity with Dean’s treatment of Jack. If Chuck hadn’t intervened in 14.20, Dean would have murdered Jack and Sam would have been the one who let him. Runner up: abandoning Kevin wasn’t great. Idk, I really do think the worst things Sam does are the general murders.

Stupidest thing: letting out the Darkness in 10.23, come on, Sam, surely you have SOME genre awareness at this point. If you asked Sam through the years about the worst thing he’s ever done, he’d answer Ruby/demon blood/Apocalypse for s5-8, leaving Dean in Purgatory for s8-12, and a mishmash of Jack issues in s14-15.

It’s kinda fun that Cas is the only one of the three whose deepest sources of guilt actually line up with his worst crimes.

[wonhaebunny]

💘📂💘📂💘📂💘

back on my anxiety!katsuki bullshit!!

this is a long one lol

skip this paragraph if you like, it's mostly me uselessly waffling about my day lol,,, anyways so. for context, i'm not a huge partygoer. i usually have fun for an hour or two, and immediately my social meter hits zero and i want to go home again. but TODAY. today my friends and i had this lovely picnic where we sat on a rug in a park and just read books. we each had our own books, and we sat there and read in silence, and it was quite possible the nicest afternoon i've had in months. comfortable silence, background music, some nice food. pure therapeutic goodness. a shot of serotonin to the bloodstream. anyways idk why i said all that it was just an unnecessary piece of context but here is the hc:

-

katsuki never comes on bakusquad outings. he's the first to shoot their plans down, before they even develop them fully.

he's always got "better shit to do", or he "doesn't want to waste time on losers".

it's a little hurtful at first, but very much in-character, and eijirou is left fumbling as he tries to explain to them that katsuki isn't normally like this.

but frankly? eijirou is confused too.

katsuki has always been receptive to hanging out with him, whether it be a weekend hike, training, or just chilling and watching movies in either of their dorm rooms.

but the second the bakusquad tries to bring up some plans to hang out together, katsuki shuts them down instantly. and eijirou knows katsuki doesn't hate them, has seen it in the way the blonde will tutor them through the night and smirk at their shenanigans in class when he thinks no one's looking. so why is he so adamant about the outings?

but after the first dozen times, they accept it. they never stop asking, though.

just in case.

and then the day comes. it's lunchtime, and the squad is hunched at the cafeteria trying to make plans for the weekend.

"the weather's lovely on saturday, what about a picnic?" mina asks hopefully.

denki and hanta look a little reluctant at the idea of it, while eijirou looks noncommittal.

mina pouts at the reactions.

"you'll come, won't you, bakugou?" she whines.

she's teasing, obviously, tone light and airy.

so when bakugou grunts back a quiet, "fuckin' whatever," her jaw drops, along with everyone else at the table.

"you'll come?" she asks again, more seriously this time, but still trying to keep her voice casual.

the blonde gifts her with a sharp look that signals he'll change his mind if she pushes any further.

"that's what i fuckin' said, right?" he mutters.

mina's entire demeanour brightens, but she doesn't mention it again, making katsuki relax imperceptibly in his seat.

"okay!" she announces cheerfully. "well, i've decided i don't care if you guys come anymore! i have this lovely gentleman to keep my company!" she gestures at katsuki, earning a half-hearted snarl.

immediately, the three other boys at the table straighten with indignant cries.

"no way i'm missing it!" denki wails.

"yeah," hanta adds on. "this is the first time we've got the whole squad!"

it's almost comical, how quickly the mood at the table has lifted. they're all almost waiting for bakugou to take it back, or change his mind again. but he doesn't. and so they float through the rest of lunch, blissfully.

and sure enough, that saturday, all five of them head to the park. the other four are slightly anxious that it'd be awkward with katsuki's unfamiliar presence, but the blonde fits into their dynamic seamlessly, even outside the school. he's quiet for the most part, scowl fixed on his face as he trudges with his hands in his pockets, but he makes the occasional quip to let them know he's listening nonetheless.

and when they set down their picnic rug, laying out the food and settling down, katsuki's oddly quiet. he's not complaining like eijirou had expected, simply watching as the others find their places and do their things.

hanta's pulling out a switch, while mina texts someone on her phone lazily and eijirou watches a television show on his.

then, after a moment's deliberation, katsuki sinks down to the corner of the rug, and pulls a book from his bag.

"nerd," hanta coughs inconspicuously not even a moment later, earning a smack upside the head from mina and a sigh from eijurou.

katsuki puffs up, but then denki perks up, cutting off anything he'd planned on saying.

"hey, we're buddies!" he exclaims, holding up his own book excitedly.

at the sight, katsuki's eyes narrow, before he finally relaxes again, turning his attention to his book.

he's... quiet.

completely silent, in a way the other four had not expected at all. because this silence isn't the type they're used to with katsuki. there's no hostility or tension in the air. just the distant sound of birds and nearby traffic.

eijirou can't help stealing glances every few minutes, show abandoned in favour of studying the smoothed-out spot between the blonde's normally-tense brows, the relaxed curve of his typically-scowling lips. when he flicks his gaze around, he sees that the other three are having similar issues. katsuki remains oblivious to it all, immersed in his book and completely unaware of the wondering, awed stares of his companions.

the silence is comfortable, though, and eventually the other four settle down, too.

time passes easily, broken by the occasional rustling or crunching of food.

somewhere around the third hour, mina grows tired of scrolling through her phone and leans back, laying her head on the nearest boy's lap. it's a habit she's grown accustomed to, but she stiffens immediately when she realises exactly whose lap she lays in. but katsuki doesn't shove her off.

he doesn't curse, doesn't scowl, doesn't even acknowledge the movement beyond a subtle tilt of his head. the boy's expression pinches for the briefest of moments, before ever-so-slowly, it dissolces back to its previous state of relaxation.

mina has to fight the urge to grin, biting her lip painfully hard as she turns to shove her face into his thigh, overjoyed.

the others, who are watching the exchange, seem to relax after a few moments without any further reaction. they take it as a signal, finally stretching out and releasing any residual tension they'd been holding.

denki's legs sprawl out, brushing against katsuki's, and eijirou leans sidewards until their shoulders brush slightly.

the blonde keeps reading.

it's... nice.

they'd never thought they'd be able to enjoy something like this with katsuki, but the opportunity is welcome. and honestly? the quiet is a pleasant change for all of them, a stark contrast to their usual boisterous dynamic.

mina dozes off against katsuki's lap, and eventually eijirou sinks down until he's half-slumped against the blonde's side, head resting in the crook of the other's elbow as he watches his show.

when they finally have to leave again, it' almost curfew.

"we should do that again," hanta murmurs, earning sounds of agreement.

the group is relaxed, all of them feeling pleasantly slow and drowsy with the pace of the day. even katsuki looks like he's moving looser than normal, eyes softer and scowl barely-there.

it's a nice day.

the next time they're making plans for the weekend, they all turn to katsuki hopefully.

"what do you say, bakugou? a karaoke night?" denki asks hopefully.

to his disappointment, katsuki doesn't spare him a glance.

"i'd rather fuckin' die," he says flatly.

denki, hanta and mina wilt.

but eijirou just stares.

he examines katsuki for a long, long moment, before a calculating look comes into his eye.

"how about instead of going to karaoke, we do a movie night at the dorms?" he asks carefully.

the other three look a little confused, but shrug.

"yeah, i'm down," mina says, bemused. denki and hanta nod.

"what about you, bakugou?" the red-head asks, as casually as he can muster.

katsuki holds his gaze for an excruciatingly long time, before scoffing.

"fine," he mutters.

eijirou grins, and watches as realisation sets into the eyes of the other three, their expressions brightening with his.

it's okay if katsuki doesn't want to come to all their outings, he thinks to himself, smiling fondly at the unaware blonde.

they understand.

[luxekook]

THE SEVEN || prologue

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: supernatural au with action, angst, smut, and (trace amounts of) fluff

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader fights to survive, attracts a powerful group of demons, and causes general mayhem in a post-apocalyptic new world

⇥ word count: 1.5k

⇥ warnings: nc17, *this fic has scenes of graphic violence*, demons, bloodshed, anarchy, general apocalyptic things, cursing, eventual poly relationship, a made-up language, hints of desire to own, brief mention of abuse, an attempt at world-building

⇥ beta reader: heathy @shadowsremedy​​ - thank u so much!!! i was holding off on beginning this fic for so long, and you really helped me move forward! uwu<3

Prologue

The world has completely gone to shit, I think to myself as my blade slices right through my opponent’s eye. The responding roar of the crowd reinforces that thought as the lifeless body slumps to the ground.

Removing my bloodied knife from the man at my feet, I stand, exhaustion kicking in after yet another adrenaline-fueled fight. Gazing out at the surrounding crowd of humans and demons, I narrow my sights on tonight’s guests of honor – the seven demons who would decide if my performance was deemed worthy enough of payment.

Raising my chin in defiance, my eyes meet those of the pompous greed demon of the Ahgase Seven. Lim Jaebeom lounges on a provisional throne flanked by his six brothers. Their combined beauty is ethereal but leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

How is it that creatures so prone to evil can be so lovely to look at?

After glancing briefly at each brother, I finally make eye contact with Jackson Wang, the Ahgase’s pride demon. He inclines his head with a satisfied smirk, simultaneously permitting my payment and ordering my swift dismissal.

The callous disregard of my efforts never fails to ignite a familiar burn of fury within me. I fight to the death to earn a week’s worth of food and shelter, and all I get is a fucking nod in response? Complete and utter bullshit if you ask me.

My teeth grind together as I give the slightest and stiffest bow possible in the Ahgase Seven’s general vicinity and stalk out of the Pit. Reminding myself that I actively choose this fate never really helps, given that the alternatives are equally as shit – if not more-so.

Basically, since the planet lost three-fourths of its population in the Reaping, the old capitalistic way of the world is no longer. Now, the main ways to survive deal with what you have to offer as a resource – your body, your skill, your labor, your loyalty. I choose to fight because, for me, it’s the soundest option.

My prior life had been sketchy at best. I had taught Krav Maga, a form of aggressive self-defense and reflexive fighting, to teens and young adults. I also had used Krav Maga (and other more nefarious methods) on abusive parents or guardians, bullies, or romantic partners - the very reasons my students came to my classes.

My resulting ambiguously gray background probably had influenced heaven and hell’s decisions to leave me behind. Still, killing hadn’t come easy for me in the beginning, but now it seems like second nature. In this new era, there are no rules, no moral codes, no winners, no losers. There are only survivors.

And I’ll be damned if I am not one of them.

Last year, the Reaping left us all in chaos and confusion. The supernatural had become natural. Heaven took those deemed worthy and let Hell deal with the rest. But, as it turns out, Hell was just as picky.

For a few days, demons ruthlessly reaped millions of humans and dragged them below the earth. And then the reaping stopped. The humans that remained were left with burned cities, abandoned homes and a complete absence of law. They were a ruthless bunch with questionable backgrounds and ambiguous morals. It honestly made sense that they were left behind – myself included.

The short period after the Reaping brought with it a general mayhem which resulted in looting, fires, and general destruction. The remainder of society was bare-boned, with only the richest areas having luxuries like running water and electricity. I referred to this time period – the lull before the demon Sevens took over – as the pseudo-Hunger Games. I legit had to pull a full Katniss Everdeen in order to stay alive during those two weeks.

Then, finally, the demons rose again.

The demons that rose were power-hungry and desperate to prove themselves worthy to rule over the New Earth. They looked human until you got too close and felt the negative energy that emanated from them. It's almost a built-in warning for those lower on the metaphorical food-chain not to get close to a source of potential harm.

By possessing a demon of each sin category, Sevens were able to bond together and max out their powers. Often, Sevens took on courts and consorts to siphon additional power, but my intel on demons was mostly built on speculation and rumors. The general consensus seemed to be that humans joined demon factions because of the promise of protection, food, and other resources. However, no one usually survived leaving a faction led by a Seven once they had declared fealty.

I vowed to never willingly enter into a Seven’s territory. My freedom and independence were the only things I had left to hold onto. And that was how I ended up in my current situation as a fighter in the Pit, the rough, man-made arena where fighters battle to the death for winnings while the audience bets furiously on their selected victor. No one had bet on me at first, but they learned quickly.

The Pit’s existence sprung out of desperation for distraction. Humans and demons alike needed some form of entertainment away from the monotony and death embedded within everyday life. Located within the Neutral Zone, the Pit provided humans the ability to earn a living and to make a name for themselves. Those that fought in the Pit were only lower on the human totem pole to the Pit Master and to the merchants in the Neutral Zone. Below the fighters were the scavengers, the workers, the peasants, and the lost.

Marching towards the exit gate, I nod to the next competitor to enter the arena – it might be the last I’d see of them. Pit Master Agra greets me as I step through the gate’s threshold and finally out of the public eye.

“Good work,” she forces a smile that only looks like she’s in pain, “But, next time make sure there’s more blood.”

I say nothing.

Agra takes my silence as acceptance and jerks her head at the empty hallway, indicating my second dismissal of the day. “You have one week until your next fight,” she predictably calls as I make my way down the tunnel towards my makeshift room located in the fighters’ dorms.

I wave a hand carelessly behind me in a sign of recognition. Damn, what I wouldn’t give to challenge her in the Pit.

Pausing outside my room, I struggle to unhook my necklace that held my key. The blood on my fingers still has not fully dried, and I grow increasingly frustrated. I just want to bathe, goddamnit.

“Allow me,” a deep voice purrs from behind me. I shudder as two hands suddenly brush my own away from their hold on the necklace. Warm fingers brush the nape of my neck as the sound of a slight inhale meets my ears.

Fuck, I hope this person isn’t smelling me because I am almost certain the combination of sweat and dried blood is extremely unpleasant.

“There,” the voice rasps, “All done.”

My necklace is gone from my neck, and I turn to retrieve it from whoever just assisted me.

“Oh, fuck,” I hiss, taking in the demon before me. His teal hair is wild and reminiscent of a blue flame. His black eyes are large and slanted, fixed on me with a peculiar expression I just cannot place. His clothes are expensive. I peer closer, inspecting the intricate details on his patterned top. Was that Versace? 

In this economy?

His arm extends to mine. My necklace dangles from one finger carelessly. “Here, mì shaìà (my pet).”

“My name is (y/n),” I grab the necklace and shudder when our fingers brush for a split second, “Not Mishaeya.”

The demon smiles. It’s large and boxy and completely predatory. “(Y/n). Mì shaìà. It doesn’t make a difference.”

Am I missing something? 

“Listen, demon-dude, I just killed someone like five minutes ago. Can you stop being cryptic and just tell me why you’re lurking outside my room?”

“Ah, yes,” he stalks closer to me. My back hits the door to my room. He licks his lips, “I was watching you. You are quite the fighter, little one.”

“Little?” I glance down at my thick and well-muscled self, “Mhm, okay.”

“Are you not scared of me, mì shaìà?” His hand cups my chin, thumb darting out to wipe some blood from the shallow cut across my cheek.

“Should I be?” I front like my heart isn’t beating out of my chest.

“Yes,” he smiles before sucking the droplets of my blood from his thumb. “Surely someone as exquisite as you should need protecting. I’m surprised no one owns you yet, (y/n).”

My back straightens, “No one owns me. No one ever will.”

The demon’s head tilts as he silently studies me for a few moments. He looks like he almost wants to say something before he steps back and bows. “Sleep well, mì shaìà. I will be seeing you again.”

I gape as he walks away from me. A thought strikes me. “Hey!” I call after him, “What’s your name?”

He answers without looking back or breaking his stride, “V.”

a/n: i made up Deìthi, the language that the demons use in this story. i will keep a running list of translations at the bottom of each chapter as well as putting initial translations in parentheses following the first usage of the word.

Deìthi (The Language of Demons) Translation List:

Mì shaìà - My pet

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

[smegdwarf]

But Who Could Love Me? (Rimmer X Reader) - Chapter 2

A/N: ..........👀

Warnings: Eh not really

Summary: Pretty much just giving Rimmer the love he deserves ☺️

It was no surprise that your new found friendship with Rimmer lead to teasing and wind ups from the rest of the crew but you being you, you took it on the chin. Something Rimmer admired you for.

“So let me get this straight? You’re friends with Rimmer now?” Lister asked, mischief in his voice.

“Is that a problem?” You replied, your eyes not leaving the book in front of you.

“No no...” Lister paused for a second “It’s just a bit weird”

“Well I am weird Listy!” You looked up with a smile.

“Ain’t that the truth” Lister laughed as you stood up “Where is his royal smegness anyway?”

“Working which is more than I can say for you Lister!” You smirked before flicking Listers nose and leaving the room.

“Ow you smegger!” You heard him shout after you.

You knew without putting too much thought into it where Rimmer would be, after all someone had to make sure Red Dwarf was running smoothly and headed in the right direction ...although he may not have been the best choice.

“Good Afternoon” You smiled as you walked into the Dwarfs navigation room, Rimmer quietly making his way through the book he was borrowing from you “Enjoying the book?”

“Well I was until they brought in a love storyline” Rimmer screwed up his nose “What’s wrong with a having a good story without love?”

“Is love really that bad?” You laughed a little as Rimmer’s eyes met you with a dead stare “Anyway...”

“What brings you here?” Rimmer asked putting the book down, maintaining friendships was always a challenge.

“Here, the dumb snack dispenser chucked out two bars when I only paid for one” You smiled as you placed the extra chocolate bar down next to the book followed by some almost inaudible jabbering from the snack machine just outside the door “Now it’s giving me back chat”

You’re little escapade with the snack dispenser brought a small smile to Rimmer’s lips as he let out a soft laugh while the snack machine outside continue to lose it.

“Hey buddy, you chucked out two snacks instead of one not me” You shouted out of the door at the machine.

“You didn’t have to take the second one” The snack machine was clearly up for a fight.

“Shut it or I will unplug you!” You threatened the machine as Rimmer laughed behind you “Am I really about to throw punches with a snack machine?”

“Apparently so” Rimmer smiled, still tickled by your snack fight.

“Well if it keeps you smiling” You shrugged with a smile “So what’s the plan for today?”

“I ...erm ...no plan yet” Rimmer stuttered, it would honestly be a miracle for him to accept your kindness without almost having a full blown panic attack.

“Ok well give me a shout if anything changes, there’s a few things Kryten wants me to take a look at” You smiled as you went to leave.

“Erm I’ve been meaning to ask ...what exactly is it that you do?” Rimmer was generally curious as you had never confirmed exactly what your position on your old ship was but you also couldn’t help but feel that Rimmer also didn’t want you to leave just yet.

“I’m an engineer” You smiled leaning against the door frame.

“What kind of engineer? Snack machines? Drink machines?” Before Rimmer wouldn’t even look at you and now here he is trying to hold a full conversation.

“An engineer engineer, I’m trained to fix anything that’s broken”

“C-can I help?” Rimmer asked innocently.

“I’m sure there’s a chicken soup dispenser that needs fixing somewhere” You smiled with a wink “Come on”

Rimmer didn’t know whether to groan and glare or smile and laugh at your dig, settling with a playful glare and a soft ‘you little smeg’ as you made your way to Kryten.

“So where do you need me to start Krytes?” You asked the mechanoid enjoying mopping the floors of the ship far more than anyone ever should.

“Oh of course, this way ma’am” It was only then when Kryten looked up from the floor he was cleaning that he realized that you wasn’t alone “Excuse me ma’am but are you aware Mr Rimmer is standing behind you?”

“Yes Kryten, he’s going to help me” You laughed as Kryten pulled a face of worry “Don’t worry it’ll be fine Krytes”

“Yes of course, this way” Kryten walked on a head.

“Bloody gimboid!” Rimmer muttered.

“Lister corrupted him, you know he can’t help it” You smiled as Rimmer’s shoulders relaxed and all tension left his body, you clearly had a stronger affect on him than you thought.

“Don’t you need tools?” Rimmer asked, noting your lack of a tool box or trolley.

“Who needs tools when we’ve got Kryten” You smiled as you patted the droid on the shoulder “He is basically a walking multi-tool ...no offense Krytes”

“None taken ma’am ...you are technically correct” Kryten gave you a smile only a droid can give.

“Let’s get fixing shall we?” And with that you took off to fix the many, many issues on Red Dwarf.

A few hours later and you were joined, in Rimmer’s eyes, by an unwanted visitor. Despite working away behind a soup dispenser you knew exactly who it is was without looking.

“What’s going on here then?” You could tell Lister was grinning, making a clear point about you and Rimmer working together “See we don’t even need to set it up anymore”

“Set what up?” Rimmer asked completely blind to what the boys had really been up to the moment you glitched to the ship.

“Just ignore him” You grumbled from behind the dispenser, rattling a pipe “Hey Arnie? Could you move the dispenser nozzle over for me please?”

“Ok” Rimmer replied quick and short as he did as you asked, apart from Kryten as soon as you were joined by either of the remaining crew Rimmer would instantly withdraw, almost too scared to even speak incase Lister would pick him apart or even worse he’d upset you., after all the filter between his brain and his mouth was faulty and he was much more aware of it with you around.

“Perfect!” You smiled at Rimmer from behind the machine as you triggered the machines cleaning system, a projectile wave of old chicken soup chunks covering Lister “Well that might explain why it wasn’t working?”

“YOU BLOODY SMEGHEADS!” Lister stormed off in a huff, presumably to the nearest shower.

“Have fun!” You called down the corridor after him as Rimmer broke into laughter “Two can play that game Listy!”

“Was that actually the problem with it?” Rimmer asked referring to the machine.

“Oh no, as soon as he opened his mouth I thought you know what would make him look better? Old chicken soup chunks!” You laughed as Rimmer looked at you almost in awe.

“You’re perfect” Rimmer let slip as he laughed, catching himself almost instantly attempting to covering it up.

“Arnold?” You replied surprised, for Rimmer that was the last thing you were expecting to escape his mouth.

“The prank!” He stuttered “I meant the prank was perfect”

“Come on, Kryten will almost be ready with dinner” You smiled, sparing Rimmer from more embarrassment than he was already feeling as his cheeks flushed a light shade of pink “I’m starving”

“Erm you’re a hologram, holograms don’t eat?” Rimmer pointed out, his smile slowly returning.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t feel hunger, let’s go!” You smiled as you walked off ahead, a soft chuckle from Rimmer travelled down the corridor.

Arriving back at the crews quarters The Cat and Lister were already digging into their dinner, the usual vindaloo.

“Your dinner ma’am” Kryten smiled as he placed the pasta dish down in front of you.

“Thanks Krytes, it looks great” You grinned at your plate.

“See Listy, I told you other food existed besides vindaloo curry” Rimmer grinned as he sat down at the table continuing on with his book from earlier earning a not so subtle groan from Lister.

“Hey pretty lady” Cat scooted his chair over to you, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Don’t even think about it” The Cat had made it his mission since you got here to try and ‘win you over’ but no matter how many times you turned him down he was reluctant to give up.

“Oh come on” Cat tried again, you noticed Rimmer watching you from the side of his vision behind his book.

“You need to back off before all 9 of your lives flash before your eyes” You said sternly enough that he eventually moved back.

“Obviously you’re not interested in the Cat or Kryten ...so what about me?” Lister looked up from his plate with the devil in his eyes.

“Why has my love life suddenly became topic of discussion?” You sighed as you tried to continue eating, Rimmer had completely stopped reading as he hid behind his book.

“Well would you?” Lister pushed a little more.

“I wouldn’t no” You replied bluntly as a grin formed on Listers face.

“What about Rimmer?” You choked on your pasta as the words left Listers mouth, Rimmer completely frozen behind his book.

“Just because there is a woman on your ship doesn’t mean one of you has to sleep with her?” You shouted as you dropped your fork, a loud clang radiating through the room as the metal hit the plate.

“It’s just hypothetical, you don’t have to date any of us” Lister pointed out.

“Lister shut up!” Rimmer growled, sensing your anger.

“Damn right I don’t” You stood up in a huff “Why do men never think with their brain?”

And with that you stormed out, leaving your dinner unfinished and you not quite sure where you were storming off too.

Realizing the only place you could really escape without being bothered was your room. Asking Holly to lock the door before throwing yourself in your bunk. It’s times like this that made you glad you chose to have your own quarters. Who knows what kind of hell would ensue if you hadn’t? You knew in their minds the boys probably didn’t mean it to be harmless but you weren’t standing for it ...and for that matter neither was Rimmer, it wasn’t much but he did try and get Lister to stop.

After losing yourself in a book for a couple hours you decided to go hunt down a snack machine, after all you had abandoned your dinner earlier. It would be your luck though that you didn’t have enough money on you, your foul mood insisting you take a hit on the snack machine but before you could an arm in a blue sleeve appeared over your shoulder to place a coin into the slot.

“Here” Rimmer said softly but still managing to scare the life out of you ...well metaphorically.

“Bloody hell” You grumbled as you held your chest, you maybe a hologram but holograms could still have heart attacks.

“Sorry I didn’t meant to...” Rimmer panicked.

“It’s fine and thank you, you didn’t have to do that” You managed a smile as your snack hit the bottom of the machine.

“Sorry about earlier” Rimmer’s eyes shot to the floor.

“It wasn’t your fault Arnie?” You looked at him a little sad, he didn’t do anything wrong and yet he was still taking the blame “Please don’t blame yourself”

“If you want I can get Kryten to make you another dinner...” Rimmer started to blabber “It’s not a problem”

“Arnie it’s fine” You smiled, placing your hand on his shoulder and feeling him instantly relax.

“The boys are having a game night, if you want to join?” Rimmer asked

“Erm I think I’ll pass this time” You spoke softly “I’m not really in the mood”

“Yeah me neither ...I best get going though” Rimmer turned to leave.

“You know you don’t have to go to game night...” You hesitated to see if he’d pick up on where you were going.

“What?” Rimmer froze, as far as he was concerned he was dreaming and he’d wake up any moment.

“You’re more than welcome to keep me company for the evening... if you want?” You smiled as Rimmer mulled over your offer “Come on”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of the footsteps behind you, pleased that Rimmer had chose the option that would make him happy and instead of going with what everyone else was doing so he didn’t feel left out. Rimmer had only seen your quarters from the door as you swapped over books for him, this time he was actually inside, looking around and taking in all of his surroundings.

“Excuse me while I change” You said calmly.

“Wait what?” Rimmer panicked, completely forgetting in that moment that you were a hologram and only focusing on the ‘change’ part of your sentence.

“Comfies please Hol!” You asked the computer as your blue uniform changed to leggings and an oversized jumper “Ah much better ...maybe you should try changing into something comfier?”

“I don’t think I have anything like that?” Rimmer spoke quietly, you were clearly distracting him.

“Holly, find some comfy clothes for Rimmer please?” You asked Holly again.

“Don’t look!” Rimmer exclaimed.

“What?” You laughed.

“I’m know I’m a hologram but don’t look while I change” Rimmer chuckled.

“Alright fine I won’t look” You laughed as you covered your eyes “Go on Holly!”

“Oh god this feels weird” Rimmer looked over his new clothes, black jogging bottoms and a blue jumper and even you couldn’t deny how soft and sweet he looked as he stood in front of you confused.

“Good weird?” You smiled as you sat down on your bunk.

“Too soon to say” Rimmer was completely occupied by what he was wearing to notice you had sat down.

“Hey Holly, is there anything new to watch?” You asked as Rimmer stood next to your bunk “Well sit down then”

“Are you sure?” It was clear he was nervous, it had been a really long time since he’d had any interaction with the opposite sex and even when he was alive it wasn’t something he was particularly experienced with.

“Yes” You laughed softly as you patted the spot next to you gently “Please sit down”

“You know if the others find us they’ll rinse us?” Rimmer sat down next you cautiously, as far he was concerned this was all some sort of elaborate joke and you were going to walk away or tell him to leave.

“Oh I have a plan don’t worry” You smiled as you looked over at the screen “Holly?”

“Yes Y/N?” Holly replied.

“Could you make sure the door is locked please? ...oh and see if you can get one of the scutters to bring up some snacks too please?” You made your demand, a sweet but nervous smile lighting up Rimmer’s face.

“Bob should be up in a few minutes, shall I tell him to leave your delivery outside the door?” Holly asked.

“You know the drill Hol!” You grinned.

“Something tells me you’ve done this before?” Rimmer raised his eyebrow, his hands resting in his lap.

“Well I need an escape from the rest of you sometimes you know” You teased “Well the other 3 anyway”

“You chose me over them?” Rimmer looked at you confused as the scutter tapped the door outside.

“I suppose I did” You smiled as you went to retrieve the delivery, turning back round to see a smug and rather pleased smile on Rimmer’s face “Hey no need to be a smug git ...or I might have to start calling you Ace?”

“Oi?” Rimmer shot you a glare as you sat back down.

“I’m joking” You laughed a little, picking up the chocolate bar Rimmer had got you earlier, breaking it in half and offering it to him “Here...”

“Erm thanks” Rimmer smiled as he took the offer.

“You’re welcome ...Holly start the film!” You asked the computer and that was it.

From that moment on movie night with Rimmer became a regular thing, you had both agreed not to speak a word to anyone else. After all you didn’t want everyone invading your space and for Rimmer, although he would never admit, he didn’t want to share you with anyone else. Arnold Rimmer was starting to feel something he’d never really felt before.

[malfoymanortings]

bad child

SUMMARY: Gwendolyn Weasley was the only one of her family to be sorted into Slytherin, and she becomes the black sheep of the family. her morals get twisted as she fights for her place in Slytherin house, but will she lose them completely?

PAIRINGS: none, eventual Draco X OC if continued.

hello! really im not sure if this is worth continuing, but it’s been floating around my mind for awhile so I decided to start writing it out. possibly will become a mini series if anyone wants it? enjoy!

Ginerva and Gwendolyn Weasley were the second set of twins to be born to the Weasley family. Their parents had been ecstatic to finally receive the girls they had so desperately wanted (more so Molly than Arthur), that it temporarily overshadowed the sheer panic of them having been twins. Twin girls.

Their first set of twins, Fred and George, had been more than several handfuls to deal with. If they weren’t lighting something on fire, they were terrorizing their easiest target, their youngest brother Ron.

The girls had proved to be just as difficult in their own way.

From a very early age Gwendolyn was able to convince Ginerva to do just about anything she said. Stealing from muggle shops, their siblings, neighbors; setting out more vindictive traps for the muggles around their neighborhood. The girls were close, but there was always the understanding between them that Gwendolyn was the leader out of the two. In addition to that, she was also the more manipulative and cunning of the two.

That’s not to say that Ginerva wasn’t strong in herself. She just loved her twin dearly, and was willing to put her own morals aside for the sake of keeping the peace with her twin. Gwendolyn had always felt that as the only girls, and the second set of twins, they needed to work hard to stand out and not let opportunities for power pass them by. Even if that power was only enjoying stolen bubble gum while their siblings had none.

Regardless of her questionable morals, Gwendolyn fiercely loved her family and had a conscience, contrary to what her older brother Percy seemed to think. She just cared more about what would be best for her and in turn, her twin, than how her actions would affect others. Gwendolyn would go to the ends of the earth to ensure Ginerva was okay.

By the time the girls had turned nine, their parents had come to realize that although Ginerva was normally at the forefront of the trouble they got into, Gwendolyn was the orchestrator of the scheme. No matter how many times Molly berated the girls for their wrongdoings, they didn’t stop. She spoke with Ginerva and told her she did not always have to go along with her sisters plans, and she spoke with Gwendolyn, telling her just because Ginerva was willing to do things for her didn’t mean she should.

Ginerva had tearfully said she would do better. Gwendolyn had laughed.

When the girls had finally headed off to Hogwarts, their mother had fretted and worried and bitten her nails as she sent them off, giving their older brothers firm instruction to watch over them. Percy had taken the suggestion to heart and swore he would, the twins had saluted their mother and laughed as they nodded, Ron had just shrugged noncommittally. Molly even requested that Harry and Hermione do their best to watch out for them, and the second years promised they would.

Ginerva was sorted first. The hat sat on her head for a few moments before loudly proclaiming “GRYFFINDOR!”. The redhead made her way over to the rest of her redheaded family, who hooted and hollered and made a ruckus as she blushed.

Gwendolyn was next. The hat sat on her head for a few beats longer than her twin, before proclaiming “SLYTHERIN!” just as loudly as it had for Ginvera. The redhead’s eyes widened for a moment, before she quickly fixed her expression into an indifferent mask and walked stiffly towards the green and silver table. Her family at the Gryffindor table had hesitated before clapping; Percy with an expression of horror, the twins with a disappointed grimace, Ron with a mix of concern and fear, and Ginerva with a look of crushed devastation. 

Gwendolyn didn’t spare a second glance towards her family as she set down tentatively at the Slytherin table, hearing murmured whispers coming from an already established friend group a few seats down from her. She had felt out of place without her twin next to her.

“I’m Astoria,” the brunette next to her greeted, holding out a hand for her to shake.

“Gwendolyn,” she replied, giving the other girl a firm shake. “You can call me Gwen.”

The brunette nodded and smiled, before turning her attention back to the sorting.

“Weasley, hm?” a voice drawled to her left, and she turned to see a boy with slicked back silver hair giving her a haughty once over. “I’ll have to let father know they let one of you in Slytherin. Surely the hat has made a mistake. A muggle loving blood traitor would never be allowed in Slytherin.”

Gwendolyn paused for a moment, her thoughts racing. She knew enough about Draco Malfoy to know his approval would make or break her acceptance into Slytherin house. She needed to earn his approval. She had to show him he wasn’t just another Weasley. She had to break free.

Her eyes narrowed. “The hat doesn’t make mistakes, Malfoy. But perhaps you do. I’m not like my family. I absolutely hate muggles. They disgust me.”

She said the words with force, her lip slightly curled up in a snarl. A rush went through her at the admission. Her family would never allow her to talk like that. Although she didn’t thoroughly hate muggles, she certainly didn’t like them. It was thrilling to finally say it out loud.

Draco looked taken aback. He lifted an eyebrow, eyeing her appraisingly. “Well, Weasley, maybe your family isn’t a complete blood traitor waste after all.”

“My name is Gwendolyn.”

“I don’t recall caring.”

The two glowered at each other for a moment, before Dumbledore gathered everyone's attention for his speech. The night went on rather quickly from that moment, and before long they had headed up to their dorms. Gwendolyn spent her first night in Slytherin tower staring at the ceiling and contemplating her future. Tears would be useless. She had to be strong to get through her Hogwarts career. Her sister would not be at her side. That night, she resolved to be strong, sly, and cunning. It was her best bet at getting through the year unscathed.

Gwendolyn proved during her years at Hogwarts that she was nothing like her family. It gained her the approval of Malfoy, which shot her up the social ladder of Slytherin house. Astoria Greengrass had become her closest friend, and the two girls were accepted into Malfoy’s prominent social circle by the end of their first year. Her growth and flourishing in Slytherin house had driven a large wedge between herself and her family. Her voiced distaste of muggles and her turned nose at muggleborns did not go unnoticed by her family.

 In return for being accepted into Slytherin, she had lost her family relationships.

Summers were always the hardest. She no longer had Ginerva as a friend. The girls had grown cold and distant with each other as a result of Ginerva becoming more confident in herself without her sister constantly in her ear. Percy, before he too had abandoned their family for the ministry, had acted as though she didn’t exist. The twins were more and less the same, although they weren’t as sociable towards her as they were towards the others. Ron absolutely despised her for not only being Slytherin, but also being good friends with Malfoy. Charlie and Bill simply weren’t around.

Her mother was, to put it honestly, disappointed in how she had shunned everything she had been taught morally growing up. Her father resented the way she spoke of muggles, and endlessly attempted to change her mind. They didn’t understand that when she was sorted into Slytherin house as the only Weasley, she did what she needed to do to not only thrive, but survive. 

A small part of her that grown bigger over the years couldn’t help but start to believe in what the Slytherin’s thought. Especially with the way her family shunned her and couldn’t understand that she had done what she needed to do as a scared, lonely eleven year old.

Things had gotten worse since Voldemort's return. At the end of her fourth year, Ron and Ginny had accompanied Harry to the Department of Mysteries where they had fought against Death Eaters and Voldemort himself had shown up. Apparently in protest of Umbridge, they had been involved in Dumbledore’s Army, something they had not invited her to be part of. The rest of her family that still attended Hogwarts had been in the club, aside from her. 

She was used to not being included by now, of course. 

Her parents were a part of the Order of the Phoenix, an organization founded to fight Voldemort and his followers. Her siblings were much more informed on what went on during the meetings than she was. It wasn’t from her lack of trying, of course. When they had spent the summer at Grimmauld Place, she had attempted to listen in on the Extendable Ears with the others. But they always managed to shift away slightly or crowd around the ears so there was no way for her to hear. They simply didn’t trust her.

She had heard the Golden Trio speaking on more than one occasion about how she shouldn’t even have been allowed there with them. None of her siblings ever stuck up for her. It stung, but she supposed it was only reasonable. After all, she was a Slytherin. As Ron had always voiced, normally paired with a biting glare towards her, there wasn’t a witch or wizard that was in Slytherin that hadn’t gone bad. Apparently he had adopted the phrase from Hagrid.

So she sat outside most of the summer, alone, lying under the large Sycamore tree a yard away from the house. She had been offered more than once to visit her housemates' places during the summer, but her parents had forbidden it. With the war gaining momentum, it was too much of a risk. The unspoken message was clear. They didn’t trust that she would keep quiet about any 

“Hey, Gwen.”

Gwendolyn turned with a start, her thick red hair tumbling over her shoulder. Harry Potter stood a few feet away from her, looking awkward as he waited for her reply. She examined him for a moment. He was taller now, more filled out and sturdy, she supposed from an aesthetic standpoint she could understand why her sister liked him so much. 

“Can I help you?” the words were sharp, her brow raised as she awaited an answer. 

He rarely talked to her. None of them did really, except for when their mother forced them all too cheerily to interact ast family dinners and the more sparse family outings. But Harry had always treated her as though she were a bomb, one step too close and she might take him out. 

“Well, erm,” Harry seemed to blanch at her boldness. He seemed to have been expecting her to be more like Ginny. “I was wondering… I know you’re friends with Malfoy,” the name fell from his lips in a twisted spit. “Have you heard much from him this summer? I saw him in Knockturn alley while we were shopping for school supplies, and he seemed off. I just was wondering if he had said anything to you that made you worried.”

Gwendolyn stared at him for a moment, listening to him ramble on. He was awful at being subtle. He wanted to know if she knew any of Draco’s secrets, and he thought if he asked her nicely she would willingly give them up. She had to scoff at that. Typical Gryffindor.

“You’re concerned for his well being?” she stood, her voice falsely sweet. “That’s so kind of you, Potter. But from what I recall, you and Draco don’t care much for each other,” she tapped a finger to her chin, pretending to ponder the thought for a moment. “Oh! You were just hoping I would gossip with you. Perhaps next time, try Veritaserum. Or have your little brainiac give you a more subtle approach.”

Harry stuttered for a moment, seeming at a loss for words. He glanced backwards, and she followed his gaze to see Ron and Hermione standing at the front door of the Burrow, watching them. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenching.

“Get lost, Potter,” she snarled, anger flashing through her like a hot branding iron. “Or I’ll give them something to watch.”

“Right, erm, sorry.” Harry managed to say, turning and walking swiftly to the house. He didn’t spare her a backwards glance, and the trio slipped into the Burrow the moment Harry came back.

Gwen tamped down on her anger, wishing desperately she were at Hogwarts already. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

[berri-hopefulspouse]

Windblume Songs

Characters: Aether “Traveler” X Self-Insert Character (Ren), Paimon, Kaeya (Mentioned)

TW: ED Imp, General Weight Issues, Abandonment Issues

Summary: After both him and Albedo confessing during the Windblume Festival, Aether and Ren spend some time together to take some time for themselves...

Cough,,, this took too long, I started writing this right after the Windblume Festival and it’s....August now... cough. Anyway take.

Something about the air felt surreal. Like at any given moment, they would wake up- and everything that had occurred today would be nothing but a dream. Maybe it was the way their face was still wet with tears, ones Ren would occasionally wipe off into the crest of their arm. Maybe it was the way their other hand was intertwined with his. Maybe it was the way the wind even smelled sweet with flowers and freedom and feeling almost completely at ease. Surreal. Like none of this should be happening. 

Everytime they tried to think about whether or not the scenario playing out before them was real...it was like their mind outright rejected it. Their traumatized, scarred heart, was so afraid of reality crashing in- that it refused to accept outright that this WAS the reality. 

More tears fell from their cheeks.

“Ren?” A voice snaps them back out of their way-too-thoughtful stupor, “You’ve been quiet…”

“Huh? Oh...s-sorry, I’m fine.” They immediately dismissed, out of habit, however when the blonde turned to face them, and thus stopping their walking in its tracks, they took a moment to observe the blonde before them.

5’2”, with soft curly blonde hair that was still set in its typical braid, Aether could only put his opposing gloved hand that wasn’t still held tightly in theirs to their cheek, wiping the soft galactic shimmers off their cheeks.

“You’re crying.” He remarked, as if it wasn’t obvious enough.

“I-I’m sorry,” They said again, a sheepish grin on their face, “I just...I don’t believe this is real. That someone like you could even...tolerate someone like me, let alone…”

Aether rose an eyebrow at that, wiping a few more tears from the corners of their eyes as they had trailed off. 

“Is it that unbelievable that I love you, Ren?” He asked, genuine curiosity in his tone with the smallest hint of teasing. Paimon, who had been behind the two for most of this time- thankfully quiet, Aether had noted to himself- finally spoke up with a cheeky little huff.

“That’s what Paimon’s been trying to tell them! But they don’t ever listen to Paimon!” She retorts, which earns her an embarrassed glare from the shorter half-adepti.

“I-It’s not! I just…” Ren stumbled for an excuse, shoulders bunching up as they tried to hide their face from him. Yet, none came, instead another outpour of tears, causing the traveler to bristle a bit with anxiety.

“H-hey, it’s okay, I’m just joking with you!” He quickly backtracked, “I mean- I know you struggle with a lot…Struggle with figuring out yourself, and struggle with keeping people close...”

“...It is a bit of a surprise…” They admitted, closing their eyes and steeling themselves before giving a soft sigh- deciding to try and let their walls down...just a bit, “You’re someone not from this world...someone who’s on a mission before going off to your next big quest...I didn’t think you’d get attached to someone like me. Someone who’s...afraid to lose more people. Someone who doesn’t want to get hurt again.”

“Yeah,” Aether nodded in agreement, “I didn’t...want to, honestly. But, I’m...glad I did, if it meant I get to be with you. I want to help you. Just like how you helped me stay here, in the present, rather than just focus on the future.”

“Aether…” Their voice was quiet, a bare whisper in comparison to their usual loud tone, “You don’t need to fix me. I just want you here with me, as you are. That’s enough for me.”

“I didn’t say you needed to be fixed. Or that you’re broken to begin with,” He remarked, earning him a light smack on the arm.

“Meanie!”

“Ow- Sorry!” He laughed a bit, Paimon slowly floating her way back beside Aether.

“Are you two done? Because Paimon’s hungry, and the Windblume Festival is still in full swing!” Crossing her arms, she glances to Aether, who sighs and nods.

“Yeah, let’s keep going…” He smiled over to Ren at that, “After that, I think I’ll let Kaeya babysit you for a while, Paimon.”

“Wh- HEY! Paimon’s not a child that needs to be babysitted! Babysat?...” Paimon’s protest died in her mouth as she fumbled with the right word to use, “Babysatted!”

“Wrong on all accounts,” Aether lightly poked fun at her, lightly jabbing her side, causing Paimon to squeal and bat at Aether’s face.

“Oh hush!! Language can be difficult sometimes!” She squeaked, face red from embarrassment. Aether burst into a fit of laughter, quickly taking off in a sprint to avoid Paimon’s assault. And as a result, dragging Ren with him- who after stumbling for a brief second, quickly matched his pace.

“Sorry Paimon!” Ren couldn’t help but laugh alongside him, “See you at Good Hunter’s!” 

Paimon squealed in annoyance, quickly taking off after them and shouting an array of what she would consider “insults” towards both the traveler and his partner as they headed back to the latter’s hometown, Mondstadt. 

Taking a couple breaths as the two had slowed to a stop at Mondstadt’s gate, Ren taking slow deeper breaths as they regained their will to stand. Aether only chuckled at them, giving a gentle pet to their head, “Sorry, I didn’t want to get bapped to death by Paimon.” 

“It’s fine...I’m just-” They panted between their words, tone barely mumbled as a hiss between their sharper teeth, “-Out of shape. Severely out of shape.”

“You’d think after all the travelling you did with me, you’d be more in shape,” Aether teases, earning him a swift kick to the shin, “OW!”

“Don’t joke about that, jeez!!” They pouted, embarrassed as they turned their face away from him, wide-set ears downturned in discontentment. Aether chuckled sheepishly, holding his shin with one hand for a moment in an attempt to ease the pain before setting his foot back down and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Okay, okay, sorry. I won’t joke about it anymore,” Aether apologized, a hand then reaching just behind their little elf-like ears and giving a small scritch, “I forgot you can be a bit self-conscious about those kind’ve things.”

“Hmph,” Still pouty, they tried to look away from him, but the slight flush of their face gave them away easily, and within another few moments they leaned in further to his hand, a soft rumble of a purr rising from their throat.

Smiling to himself, the two stayed like that for a few moments, letting Ren relax a bit more until their eyes shut in a soft contentment, before opening again and giggling.

“Okay, okay, let’s go get food, I’m sure Paimon’s already waiting for us.” They responded, a hand reaching up to gently hold his once again. Their hand was warm, both from holding it earlier and from their natural body heat, and Aether couldn’t help but blush a bit to himself as well as he nodded in agreement, following Ren inside. 

Heading over to Good Hunter’s, Aether went to go order the food for the three of them as Ren sat across from Paimon, who hovered in her chair impatiently, lightly bobbing her head from side to side in mild boredom. Ren couldn’t help but chuckle, a hand over their mouth to try and suppress the sound.

“What?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how well you and Aether get along.”

“Psh, as if!” Paimon pouts, still clearly fussed over the little dispute earlier, “He always calls Paimon emergency food and treats Paimon like a child!”

“Yet, you still follow him around, and still are willing to travel with him~!” Ren refutes, lightly twirling their finger idly in a circle to make a point, making a light pop sound with their lips, “Checkmate.”

Paimon gave a little huff, crossing her arms as she looked away from the brunette, seemingly not having a rebuttal to their claims.

Ren bursts into a small fit of catatonic laughter, trying to quiet themselves somewhat with a shaky hand over their mouth but to very little avail. Paimon couldn’t help but notice, when she looked away, Aether was staring over towards them- a simple soft smile on his face as he was waiting for Sara to finish preparing their drinks at the very least. Paimon couldn’t help but relax at that, knowing Aether was happy, and chuckled as well alongside the brunette- however for a different reason altogether.

Settling back down after a couple of moments, Ren rubs the mirthful tears from their eyes as Aether walked back over- a small armful of drinks in tow, “I told Sara to let me handle giving you guys your drinks, so she could focus on the food.”

“That’s quite sweet of you!” Paimon pointed out as Aether slotted himself into the chair between Paimon and Ren, “Paimon noticed you’ve been really happy lately!” 

“What gave you that idea?” Aether joked, knowing full well the two knew why, however Ren simply gave a confused tilt of the head, opting to just listen to the two banter as usual.

“Hmm, well, it just seems like ever since you and Soren had sorted your situation out, you’ve just seemed to brighten up! Paimon noticed how you smiled at them a lot more than usual, and your willingness to help those around you has gotten much more... proactive.” Paimon tried to explain, somewhat fumbling over her words, ending up sputtering as Aether simply put the cup to her mouth and tilted it towards her- causing her drink to start spilling into her mouth as she spoke. It earned a chuckle from Ren, as she bapped at the glass until Aether set it back down- a cheeky amused grin never leaving his features.

“Did you ask Paimon that just to do that?!” She exclaimed as she regained her composure from the surprise, “That’s mean!”

“It’s called a prank, Paimon,” Aether lightly teased, before whispering quietly, “Besides, you were saying too much.”

“But it’s the truth! Paimon knew you were harboring feelings before, but now after that whole mess, it seems like you’re ready to take on anything!”

Aether chuckled sheepishly, a blush having started to break his mischievous composure from before, “C’mon, I’m sure I’m not acting that different from how I normally do.”

Ren hummed in thought, ears lightly twitching as they considered the light bickering and banter between the two, before adding in their own two-cents. 

“Well, sure, you’re not acting much different,” They piped up, “But your energy is notably shifted. Like you're no longer as distant from the current state of things… like you're actually emotionally present, for once.” 

“Huh?” Aether tilted his head, a bit confused as to Ren’s sudden explanation, to which they further clarified.

“Your body language changes depending on your current psychological state of mind, and your overall well-being. If you’re in a decent mood, you stand as you normally would. Sad, and it’ll show. It takes much practice to hide emotions to the point your body language doesn’t give you away, but even so, someone like me can read how you feel pretty easily...  I just haven’t before until now.” 

Aether and Paimon sat in silence for a few moments, processing what they said and furthermore what in the actual hell any of that actually meant. Ren flustered up, ears twitching once more as they laughed almost nervously. 

“Did I forget to mention I’m an empath? It’s a type of person who’s exceptionally good at reading other peoples feelings, and feeling them themselves. It derives from the word empathy,” They sheepishly explained further, “I’ve been able to read people’s emotions for as long as I can remember… which, isn’t much, but I was probably able to do it before I woke up in Mondstadt as well. I just hadn’t before because I feel it’s usually intrusive to do so. So I repress doing so, unless I feel like others are in need of help.” 

“How do you repress something like that?” Aether asked, not in disbelief but rather out of curiosity, resting his cheek into the palm of his hand as he looked to them, and they knew he had to be listening quite closely. They turned even more flustered out of shyness.

“I-it’s something I’ve learned overtime...if I had my abilities on all the time, I’d go crazy. It’s more about training yourself to focus inward, and focus on yourself, rather than those around you. Sometimes I slip up, especially when I’m tired or in a bad mood, but I never read you before, Aether.” They turned to him as they spoke his name, and smiled, “...But you’re calming. Calm, mixing with joy and...and…” They stuttered, unable to say the word they knew was on the tip of their tongue. Aether only giggled as they shyly hid their face in their hands, a soft little shy whine drawing from the back of their throat. He could only reassuringly pet their head, and shake his own head.

“Don’t worry, I know. Still, that’s...an amazing ability to have.” Aether simply responded, “I’m glad you told us.” 

“I kind’ve….Kind’ve forgot to tell you both… we were so busy, it must’ve slipped my mind. It’s why I’m so invested in other people’s well being.” They mumbled between their fingers, eventually looking back to meet Aether’s calming yet deep gaze into their anxious dark brown eyes.

“Looking back, it makes sense...you always knew just when to step in and force us to either rest, or to take a breather to keep us from overexerting ourselves.” Aether noted, recalling all the times they helped out in what he thought were smaller ways- but were in actuality just as important as their abilities to fight and deduction skills, “You’re really talented…”

“I wouldn’t say that… You had to teach me how to fight and such, I’m not that talented.” They spoke down upon themselves again, brushing the bangs out of their eyes. Aether gave a bit of a pout, raising an eyebrow doubtfully at their statement.

“Ren, before we met you knew how to sing, how to dance, how to draw- to the point you had made it your job. And now you just mentioned that you had this ability to read others emotions. Not to mention,” Aether cheekily held up the poem they had written for him, and watched the tips of their ears flush in a galactic blush, “You can write exceptionally well. You’re amazing, Ren.”

Ren remained quiet, though they were clearly starting to smile, he could see it in their eyes. Letting their hands fall, sure enough, there was a sharp-toothed grin on their face. 

“I-I…” Eventually they tried to speak, “...Thank you.” 

That got Aether to chuckle again, a hand reaching down to gently scratch behind their ears once more, “There we go, that’s better.”

Still, he was surprised to find the brunette lightly yanking his chair closer to them, and hug the blonde tightly. He hesitated for a split second, before returning the gesture wholeheartedly.

“No, really...thank you. I-I know I probably make things difficult sometimes, but hearing that from you just...means so much...It lets me know I’m doing something right.” They mumbled into his shirt, cheek pressed into his chest, “I just...I...you mean a lot to me.”

Aether paused for a second. Did it sound like they were about to say something else, or was it just him? 

Still, before he would ask, Sara approached with food, coughing nervously to herself to get the trio’s attention. Sighing to himself, he watched as Ren jumped back a few feet with a nervous squeak, falling off the chair in the process. He guessed he would ask later on, after having dinner of course, so he smiled and thanked Sara for her effort, picking almost nervously at his food as Paimon began to eat, trying not to clearly laugh. 

═ ═ ═ ╰☆╮ ═ ═ ═

Later on that evening, after Aether had passed off Paimon to a very peeved Cavalry Captain, him alongside Ren were walking just around Mondstadt, taking in the cheer of the environment. Various forms of music played in the streets as many sorts of bards who called the city their home sang various tales from their lives, sung of the god Barbatos, Sung of the tale of the windfaring dragon. Hands intertwined, Ren hummed along to the songs as they passed by, seemingly calm in the city. Part of him was glad they were so calm in such a busy environment, as when they were in Liyue- during the time of the lantern rite as a matter of fact- he recalled they mentioned feeling overwhelmed with all the pretty lights and music and people. In a way, it showed that Mondstadt truly was their home. 

It was starting to get rather late, the sun barely shimmering still in a pale pink and orange sky. Thankfully, it was another gorgeous evening in Mondstadt. The Windblume Ceremony would be tomorrow night, a signal to the end of the festivities. As it turned out, Aether had been chosen to pick the flower to represent Mondstadt in this year’s celebration- although he still held the question in the back of his mind...truly, what WAS a Windblume flower? 

But, for the time being, he didn’t need to think about it, he supposed. Mostly because, for the time being, Aether’s focus was on Ren, and the way the sunset had framed their face in a soft reddish orange glow. Their eyes were-quite literally- sparkling, no longer worried about their own struggles or concerns, but simply enjoying the feeling in the air of the festival. They turned to look at Aether, and he flustered up a bit. 

“Isn’t the Windblume Festival just so much fun? It has such a better energy than the lantern rite in Liyue!” They spoke with conviction, letting go of his hand only for a brief moment to do a small sprint forward with an excited twirl and a cat-like chirp of joy. Aether only watched their movements with a small smile on his face, honestly only half paying attention to what they said. It had to be the first time since he first met them that he’s seen them this...legitimately happy. 

“Yeah, sure is...beautiful.” Aether said, though more-so to himself than to the twirling brunette, watching their sash twirl with them. Mostly because, in fact, he wasn’t talking about the Windblume Festival… he was talking about them, having fun for once without a care in the world. Beautiful.

For a long time, before he finally shoved past his fears and confessed to them, he had shoved these thoughts down into the deepest areas of his subconscious, not wanting to think of things like personal relationships or anything of the sort. Not when Lumine had told him to leave Teyvat, not when he still had to find his dear sister. 

Yet, like pandora’s box, it seemed those thoughts were resurfacing now, watching them goof off and twirl and spin and-

“Ren, be careful!” Aether snapped out of his thoughts quick enough to speak, however he could only watch them lose their footing and land into the water of the fountain that surrounded Barbatos’s statue. 

Rather than be upset though, naturally the hydro equipped adepti simply started cackling, not bothering to try and get back up for a few good moments while they rode the high of their positive energy. It was infectious, and sure enough a moment later Aether couldn’t help but to shake his head and laugh as well. He couldn’t help it, despite everything they could be so bright sometimes- and despite what they had faced, they still chose to smile and help others. It was admirable.

“Here, take my hand,” He walked over to where they sat, offering a hand to them. He watched water droplets quietly circle around their head- a habit they tended to do when they were in the water as a result of their vision. Smiling, they took his hand, although that smile quickly fell into an open mouthed gasp as he pulled them up and into his chest. And for that moment, time stilled. 

“Hey, Soren,” His voice was quiet, tender, and considerate, “...Do you remember when we first met? It was in this same plaza, and you were humming the song the bard’s playing right now.” 

As he spoke, they felt a slightly harsher, but still intending to be gentle wind along their back as Aether gently ran his hand up more towards their shoulder blades, using a small bit of his anemo abilities as he did so to dry them off from their spill into the fountain only moments prior. 

“I remember, yeah,” They responded after a moment of trying to find the willpower to actually speak again, “It was right after your first encounter with Dvalin...and before we became teammates.” 

“Mhm,” He couldn’t help but chuckle as he felt them shudder a bit from the cold bite of wind along their neck, “Sorry, your clothes can be pretty thick.” 

That at least got a giggle out of them, bangs fluffing out of their face and making a bit of a frizzy mess as it dried at the elemental magic, delicate hands that wielded a sword gently combing through the dark brown locks. Hearing a soft sigh, Aether only chuckled even more at their reaction.

“I remember that I inspired you.” Aether continued after a brief moment, “How you always wanted to be an adventurer yourself, but was...too scared to. But seeing someone like me, someone who was completely new to Mondstadt and this world, manage to scare off a dragon back to his lair… It inspired you to at least try.”

Ren couldn’t help but blush and let out an embarrassed little snort.

“Yes, and then I nearly got myself killed trying to take out one of the hillichurl camps.” They grumbled quietly, clearly sheepish about the event. 

“Still, when I came to help out and ended up hurt… It was the moment you got your Vision, wasn’t it? Finding your will to fight again and make things right, after your actions had gotten someone else harmed.” As the gentle breeze of anemo faded from his fingertips, they looked away flustered. 

“I mean, yeah, I suppose...It just hurt my heart to see someone else hurt because of my actions.” They mumbled, “I didn’t even think of what I had to do, I just...Put it on and went for it, I had to get them off of you.”

“You were really happy at being able to protect me, you actually started laughing and dancing not too long after that battle ended.” Aether pointed out, watching their face turn further shades of blues and purples from embarrassment. 

“I had really hoped you forgotten that...I probably looked really dumb,” They muttered, trying to cover their face with one hand, only for Aether to gently grab it, a thumb rubbing gentle circles across their knuckles. 

“I didn’t...but I know you definitely didn’t look stupid then. Part of me wanting to see how well you could do...well...other dances,” Aether started to fluster over his words, his somber facade cracking into a more goofy, awkward, yet very sincere one, “...I guess what I mean to say is, I wasn’t able to ask then but uh...better late than never, right? So, ah…” He cleared his throat into his opposing hand, before awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, unable to meet their eyes in his own slight embarrassment. 

“Little Dreamer, would you care for a dance?” He’d have to thank Xinqiu and Venti for the line later…

Ren could only blink in response to that for a few moments, fumbling over their tongue for the words to speak, and eventually stuttering out a simple little, “S-Sure…” 

And just like that, time had started to move, once again.

═ ═ ═ ╰☆╮ ═ ═ ═

Letting go of their hand for a brief moment, the traveler in question had simply turned to slip off his gloves, tucking them into one of the many pockets in his oversized pants. After a moment of contemplation, staring blankly at his hands for a few moments, he offered it to them with a small, shy smile.

“Shall we?” He chuckled as he spoke, watching with twitching and flittering ears as Ren had put their hand in his, the sound of the lyre nearby only seeming to grow louder as the world began to grow just more quiet. When Aether took a glance around however, he found it wasn’t a trick of his mind- while the little plaza that sat before the church of Barbatos was mainly empty- there were of course a few fortunate souls who took notice to the display, falling quiet and watching. Not to mention, the bard in question only smirked, seeming to play louder.  He’ll have to make another note to pay the bard a decent tip later, although it didn’t prevent his face from turning an embarrassing shade of pink.

However, seeing Ren’s expression still frozen in shock and flusteredness, Aether hummed quietly and put his other hand on their cheek, lightly scratching behind their ear. 

“It’s alright, relax. It’s just me,” He tried to calm them down, only to hear them chuckle shyly. 

“You do not understand how little that helps in this,” They respond, their face a delightful shade of blues and purples.

Chuckling as well, he moved his hand from their cheek slowly down to their shoulder….down their arm, and to their waist. Ren couldn’t help but notice at the moment, the varying degree of scars that littered his hand- his somewhat calloused fingers from each battle and the little paler lines that jagged across them...and they knew that he lived a life so much more dangerous than he did now. 

“Just dance how you normally would,” He spoke of reassurance, and to that they opened their mouth to say something...only to close it again seconds after with a small nod. Truth be told, they were...a bit shy about their dancing, but they wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to dance with him due to their fears and anxieties. 

They fell silent after that, looking down a bit sheepishly and stepping slightly closer to Aether. Raising an eyebrow at that, he couldn’t help but chuckle even more at their shyness as the hand that held theirs adjusted slightly. The hand at their waist tightened, just a bit, comfortingly. He wouldn’t let them go- not again. Not when he almost lost them several times now in several aspects.

So, slowly, taking the initiative, he began to move- carefully and elegantly. One step to the side turned to another, Ren following each movement almost naturally. Hands entwined, that felt like they were meant for this purpose alone- to be held by the other. One step, two step, three, he felt their shoulders relax a bit, their other hand loosely draped over his shoulder. Tightened, tense and nervous tanned fingers slowly loosened, as with each beat of their heart and the strum of the lyre melted away their anxieties. Right here, at this moment, nothing else mattered.

The only thing that mattered was the warmth of his hands, the warmth of his breath- which they could feel ever so slightly brush against their face as they pressed just a bit closer to him- feeling their chest brush against his stomach. 

Ren couldn’t help it, a smile started to escape their anxious features, letting the music slowly seep through the fear and worries that plagued their heart, and delve deep into the features of their soul. When nothing else was there for them- music truly was. It was the one thing they cherished in this world more than life itself. People could abandon them, people could leave, and yet music was always there waiting for them in times of sadness, or right now...in times of joy.

Slowly, their steps started to deviate, a slight bit. A bit more graceful, a bit more elegant, more relaxed and calm and at peace with everything in the world. Yet, more complicated- Aether had to focus to keep up with their movements- lest he trip. 

Aether could feel it too, the way the whole world started to fall apart around him- how everything else in the background had faded to nothing else but white noise all except for himself, and the tiny little nonbinary before him. The little hydro being with literal stars in their eyes and glitter radiating from their hair at each movement, with dewdrops starting to lightly dance around their face as they were losing themselves in the calmness of the music. All there was, was himself, and them. Nothing else- no one else- mattered for the time being. 

The more they relaxed, the more confident the two became in their movements. Uncertain steps of hesitation turned to confident strides, gliding across the concrete like it was made specifically to keep up with their movements. Just as quickly, the two fell into sync. Letting go of their waist at the perfect time as they gave a gentle twirl, never letting go of his hand and twirling away- then back towards him. Him, gently scooping them upwards into his arms to twirl them around, the braid of his hair starting to get messy in the flurry of movement and wind and peace. Yet, it was all so perfect. With every few steps, the two would step on the other’s foot, or his hand would slip a bit and accidentally grab at their hip, or he would almost be sent tumbling into the concrete- yet, it felt so fluid and simple and perfect. Simply perfect. Something that matched the both of them, he would even argue. 

Never letting go of the other’s hand, the two danced in a way that almost seemed like their souls were connected. Even if the one fumbled, the other made it seem intentional, and vice versa. Hands would trail between brushing away strands of hair, to gliding down the other’s body, gently grabbing at clothes and dramatic gestures that made them both smile. The music got louder still, but not in an overwhelming way...in fact, in a way that swallowed them both whole. Ren’s heart started to race, energy surging through them with a mix of overexcitement and pure joy. Their movements starting to get even more complicated, making Aether struggle to keep up if not slightly. He never had to really learn these particular dance moves- so where did they learn them from? Was there something they couldn’t do? 

Once again, they twirled, this time taking the blonde with them- him quickly gripping their waist to prevent either of them from falling as their hair whirled around them- catching in their face and then being swept away again in the wind as they kept twirling, twirling, twirling. He felt the band in his braid start to come loose, and eventually fly off with the force of gravity working against him- blonde strands starting to go into a chaotic cacophony of giggling and laughter as Aether could only scoop them back up, taking control of the whirls and twirls in both of their steps to keep them both from tumbling back into the fountain once again in their flurry of dancing. As if, if they didn’t keep moving, the world would collapse around them, and reality would come crashing back in once again. Aether couldn’t help but lightly toss them up, a surge of anemo accompanying it to send Ren flying up- and following his feeling, Ren elegantly twirled up into the sky, sending specks of water into the sky that caught the sun perfectly to light the plaza in a warm rainbow light of dew dropped light. Falling back to the ground, Aether easily caught them in his arms, continuing to twirl as the dewdrops followed them down, lightly raining themselves and the clearing in a gentle mist. Aether couldn’t help but laugh, them following suit as their air grew slightly damp, as they kept twirling to the song, Aether’s hands clasped to their form to keep them steady as their cheek nuzzled into his neck, his frizzy messy hair almost akin to wings that shielded them from the world. 

The music had started to slow, and with it, their movements- Aether setting Ren back down after a few moments as they pressed themselves straight to his body. The curtain of hair settled, revealing the two back to the rest of the world, although it definitely couldn’t be said that he looked as graceful as he did a bit ago with his hair starting to curl at the ends- strands frizzing up from the new humidity of the plaza. Following their slowing movements, Aether couldn’t help but lightly rest his head atop of theirs, cradling them to him as their feet moved slowly to the rhythm of the lyre that slowly ebbed away, until the plaza was quiet once again… leaving just them, in revire and a happy afterglow that could only be accomplished from feeling their souls truly connect on a level far beyond the mortal concept of love.

There were a few whispers amongst the small crowd that had gathered in the time; as well as the cheers of a very happy Paimon, but all Aether could hear was the ragged breath of his partner, a little worn from the burst of energy that had made their body act against its own accord only moments before. Blonde strands of hair fell in his face as he looked back down to them, brushing some dark hair from their face. 

“I love you,” It was something softly spoken, words he had previously only reserved for his sister. But now, he had even more reason to say them. His breath was equally hastened, catching puffs of breath after the excitement and adrenaline.  Ren looked back up to him in response, a smile on their face and sparkles in their eyes as they responded.

“...I love you too, Aether.” And a gentle kiss of reassurance placed on his mouth sent the crowd- and Paimon-  into rapturous applause. 

Windblume, afterall, was a time of love. Even for the Honorary Knight, and for the lost Dreamer of the Realms. If even those two could find love within each other; certainly there was always hope that love was truly out there- wasn’t there? 

Even then, that didn’t matter in the end- at the end of the day; Aether had Ren. And Ren now had him. And for that perfect moment in time, that was all that ever truly mattered. Their perfect little Windblume Dance….and their perfect Windblume song.

[dangermousie]

I continue to love how nothing is magically fixed and there are no shortcuts. Even after the trip to Infernal Hell and all its emotional and actual revelations and the huge thing that is Bian accepting Wushe=Zixiao=Xiao Jiu, Bian is still not OK with the situation or ready to accept and forgive (let alone get into a relationship), still processing, still dealing with the scars and while he doesn’t hate or fear Wushe any more (and you can tell in their interactions; and it’s great honestly), I love that he is miles away from OK with him and just wants to get the hell away from him and never see him again (or at least not for a while so he can either process or not deal with it), he just can’t because they are off to save the world.

This is a gonzo story in a gonzo world but its approach to trauma and processing and healing feels so real. I still can’t believe the author is doing that - such a high wire act and she does it so well.

And this is what I call growth.

Wushe is never gonna be the life of the party (and honestly, it is sad how looming and terrifying he generally is when you remember the fun high spirited kid who was always bossy but you could tell why the family doted on him) but the fact that he’s both aware enough and, more importantly, cares enough (!!!!) to stay further from people because he knows he freaks them out is so huge. (Especially since you know he’s doing it because he’s trying to be good for Bian and earn his approval; he’s self-leashing!)

And the fact that he so calmly admits he went through this torture to a room of people. I love it so much, not sure why - is it because this shows spine or because it shows he only cares about Bian’s opinion about him, the rest of people are so unimportant to him, he doesn’t care what they know or don’t, think or don’t?

I love it so much!

You know, how Bian’s stress relief is polishing his sword (his literal sword, get your mind out of the gutter!) and the poor man’s been doing a lot of it lately? I could get into how his other hobby used to be not battle related but the immensely peaceful hobby of growing orchids but he’s abandoned it and it’s tragic and I hope whatever form the ending takes, it includes him having a huge garden with every variety possible (side note - the fact that he’s a little wistful about it is so hopeful though because remember when he really cared for nothing, none of the mundane things he used to love? He cares a little now, and that’s so good.) 

But! You know what also occurred to me while reading about Bian with his sword and Wushe coming to find him? Wushe himself is like a sharp deadly sword in Bian’s hands. It’s as if Bian attracted the devotion of a sharp sword - deadly, intense, one that has no idea how to interact or do relationships, and always on.

The chapter ends with Wushe guessing about various problems Bian is thinking about, stating about how they can deal with it, and then asking “did you think of me?” And it’s so interesting to me here because I get both of them. On one hand, I want to go - give him space and room and time to process things!!! He’s had so much trauma (a lot of it inflicted by you), he’s had so many revelations, he just needs peace and to be alone if he wants to! But I completely get why Wushe is unable to. He’s barely human and barely sane and he lives and breathes Bian who’s his world, his meaning of life, his soul and goodness, his connection to sanity. In an earlier chapter, it says that of course he held on tightly (hug wise) because he’s drowning and Bian is his life preserver. And that is true not just of that moment but in general. It’s not that he doesn’t get why he should go slow or anything, it’s not that he doesn’t feel remorse or want to do what Bian wants in all things - it’s just that he’s literally INCAPABLE of giving space because he needs it to live and live sanely. He is never going to force Bian into intimacy again, when Bian says jump he will say how high etc, but he can no more step back than he can fly to the moon - he needs to be around him, he needs to fight for a place in Bian’s heart, he’s clinging to a cliff by his fingertips and Bian is his hope of being pulled up. So I get why he has no stops even if I want to tell him LET HIM BREATHE!!!!! (PS but did you notice that this is the first time Wushe brings it up in a few days at least?! He didn’t talk about it on the way and for someone like Wushe this is huge! He IS trying.)

The thing is, this is such a weird novel for me, where I love Bian to bits, find Wushe fascinating and don’t hate him, find the relationship interesting and intense but I honestly don’t care if they end up together as long as Bian ends up happy - whatever makes him happy I am fine with. I can see the author slowly working her way to that happiness being Bian x Wushe and I am completely fine with it (which is impressive, earlier I’d have been !!!!) but it’s so interesting to me how all I want is Bian’s happiness whatever form that takes.

[belle-keys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch” like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor’s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

[bellatrixobsessed1]

From Chin To Yon Rah (Part 18)

Azula had blown it. She had gone there to track them down and came away with nothing but heartbreak and repressed memories. She curls up on the bed and wonders how long it will take before they tire of her. Before they finally stop coddling her and demand that she gets on with her life. When they will tell her to get a job and stop taking up space in their infirmary.

And yet she can’t get herself out of bed. Fresh out of fury for revenge, she has no reason to do so. Nobody to get up for and, by Agni, she doesn’t want to get close to anyone. Not ever again. Not when they will be taken from her or grow to resent her upon finding out who she is. Hajime and Atsu were rare gems, she can’t imagine that she will come by anyone else who would be willing to accept her. She isn’t sure that she wants them to.

She knows for certain that they have no more compassion or patience for her a few days later when they inform her that they need bed space for several new patients. When they offer her only shrugs and pitying looks when she asks where she can go.

Life becomes so terribly unbearable after that. It was hard to cope with before.

Now, people don’t even look at her. They go out of their way to pretend not to see the pathetic, shivering, dirty woman asking for a place to stay or something to eat. They put an effort into taking no notice of the ratty woman infested in body with lice and in spirit with survivors guilt.

With any luck, she won’t be a survivor for long. There is only so much a survivor can survive before the instinct burns out.

There is just enough of a flicker of that instinct for her to seek out a job, a way to make some coin. But the people of Chin know her too well already; they know that she is crazed and dirty. They have no interest in working with someone who’d earned a reputation for hallucinating a healthy pregnancy.

She still feels the kicks.  She still hears the cries. She now knows...accepts that they aren’t real. But she still covers her ears.

They avoid her with all of the effort they put into avoiding those afflicted with disease. That is the company Azula keeps now. On occasion she talks to the lepers and those with smallpox. She keeps her distance mostly conversing from the opposite end of the alley, though she doesn’t particularly care if she falls ill herself.

They are nice enough but she doesn’t get attached; their time is short.

Go-Hara is her favorite among them. Her face is swollen and bumpy, her hands puffy and disfigured. She has less time than the rest of them. Allegedly, she has been afflicted with leprosy since early teenhood.

Not a soul has spoken to Go-Hara, so she claimed, not until her. “You’re not afraid?”  She had asked.

“Not at all.”

“I am a monster.” The woman had brought those puffy hands to her lumpy face.

“No more than me.” Azula had declared, though her rot and ugliness comes entirely from within.

Go-Hara had laughed, hoarse and unpleasant, more like a death rattle than a chuckle. Right after Atsu’s screams and Hajime’s last breath, it is the worst sound she has ever heard. “Pretty girl, you are. Pretty face…”

“So what?”

She laughed again.

“I’m not afraid of monsters because I’m one of them.” She had thought of Hajime of how he’d always reassured her whenever the doubts had crept in. She hurt all over again, thrice over.

“You don’t fear the disease?”

“I wish it would take me.” She had said. Azula knew that Go-Hara was worth speaking to when the woman laughed at this too. She still isn’t sure of exactly what was so funny about her death wish.

Today, she sits at the other end of the alley and tosses Go-Hara one of the mangos she had snatched from one of the traveling merchants. “Come closer.” Azula demands.

“I will not.” Go-Hara says again. Azula is still leprosy free and to no credit of her own. Go-Hara avoids close proximity with her as though she is the leper and not the other way around. The woman bites into the mago. “Very good. Thank you.”

Azula nods. Sometimes it is a silent day, they will just sit at opposite ends of the alley and enjoy having the company. When Azula finds herself staring up at the sky she knows that today is a silent day.

That is fine with her, she doesn’t have much to say anyways. But apparently, Go-Hara has different intentions. “Can I tell you about my family before they abandoned me?”

“Go ahead.” She is a seasoned listener after enduring so many after work dinners with old man Ojihara. It dawns upon her that she misses his irrelevant boyhood tales. “Please, go ahead.”

And Go-Hara does. It is very different from Ojihara’s tales. The old man was all logic and lessons--each of his tales ended with some sort of cautionary lesson; don’t go hippo-cow tipping because it isn’t as funny and lighthearted as many young folk think it is, stealing possum-chicken isn’t a funny prank either.

Go-Hara’s stories are all whimsical and nonsensical. Oftentimes they have no point and Azula wonders if they really happened at all. She supposes that, that is why she enjoys them so well.

Sometimes it is nice to hear about something so absurd that it has to be true despite such surreal overtones. She can very easily see a pre-teen Go-Hara making her way into a badger-mole den and causing a stampede of singing gophers.  

“Your turn!” She declares when her story is through.

“My turn?”

“Humor me. Tell an old woman a story. It doesn’t even have to be true.”

And because her time is so short anyways, Azula tells her a story. She tells her a story about a fire princess who could have been something remarkable.   Go-Hara mentions it to no one else. Azula hadn’t expected her to.

That day she learns that some of the best people are the shunned people.

.oOo.

Sokka isn’t sure what to make of it. He has been analyzing and overthinking their conversation for hours now. He is almost certain that she had implied, several times, that she is in love with him, or at the very least, that she is getting there.

And he thinks that, that is a fragile place to be with her.

He finds her in the garden again. He is fairly certain that she is just out there to be out there, he can’t imagine that the seeds would have sprouted that fast even with the palace’s rich soil.

“Hey.” He greets.

Azula turns her head. “You’re up early.”

He shrugs. “I get the prettiest views in the morning.”

“You’re welcome.” Azula replies.

“I was talking about the--”

“Princess of the Fire Nation?” She interrupts. “I know.”

He laughs, he is glad to find her in better spirits. Her gaze is fixed upon the gold-blue of the sunrise as it throws shadows over the garden. “We should add strawberries to the garden.”

“Strawberries?” She quirks a brow. “Next to the turnips? Sokka, that make no sense.”

“It’s your garden, you can arrange it how you want to.”

“Yes.” Azula agrees. “And I would like to keep the fruits with the fruits and the vegetables with the vegetables.”

“Or you can spice it up and lay it out in a fruit, vegetable pattern.”

Azula shakes her head. “I know that there aren’t any crops in the tribes but I think that it is common sense, that the fruits and vegetables are kept separately.”

“Can you say that with confidence?”

Azula nods. “I’ve traveled to various parts of the Earth Kingdom and have passed many farms. Not one of them arranged their crops in a fruit, vegetable pattern. It is because they know that that’s a ridiculous idea.” She adds for good measure.

“Alright fine, we’ll put the strawberries all the way on the other side of the palace. Happy?”

Azula shakes her head, “that is too much unnecessary walking. Optimally the strawberries would be placed…”

He had forgotten how carefully she likes to lay out every detail. How concise even some of the most trivial things must be. But then he might not have truly know that to begin with, he has only heard Zuko mention it on occasion.

“And that’s why it’s important to keep the strawberries near the watermelons.”

He flushes, realizing that he hadn’t been listening at all. Though he isn’t entirely confident that strawberries and watermelons have the same growing season. “Azula, can you answer something honestly?”

She nods.

“Do you even know what you’re talking about?”

She thinks for a moment. “Not entirely. Seukhyun usually helped me with my gardens. I can’t quite remember everything he was trying to tell me about it.” She pauses. “I suppose I can ask the palace gardner…”

“Or we can figure it out together through trial and error. Don’t you think that, that would be funner.”

.oOo.

She supposes that it could be. She’d had a nice time the last few times that he’d taken her somewhere new. Spontaneity isn’t exactly her first choice but it has its merits. “That’s a strange way of asking if you have permission to plant your strawberries next to my turnips.”

He bursts out laughing again. The sort of barking laugh that includes holding his hands to his belly until the fit passes. He wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. She didn’t think it was that funny. “So is that a yes?”

Azula sighs, “fine. But only because I can shift the blame to you if my turnips don’t turn out well.”

It is quite therapeutic to do garden work. She thinks that if they had let her give it a try at the institution that she might have received it better. But then, she wasn’t exactly ready for something like that then. At that point, gardening was still entirely a peasant’s work. She supposes that it kind of still is. And she knows it by the curious looks she is given throughout the day, particularly when she re-enters the palace with muddy pants and dirt smudged hands and cheeks.

“New hobby?” Zuko asks.

Azula nods.

“I remember when you were burning things in the palace garden for being ugly.”

“My garden is going to be too pretty to set on fire.” She declares. “I have come inside for lunch and tea.”

“It’s almost ready.” Zuko smiles.

“Where are Mai and TyLee?”

“They went for a stroll around the capital. Where’d Sokka go off to?”

“He’s on his way inside.”

“You’ve gotten...close.” He notes.

“Yes.” She replies. “What of it?”

.oOo.

He shrugs as he sets out a few teacups, “I guess that it’s just nice to see that you’re making friends. It’s just…” he trails off. It’s strange. Surreal. Unexpected among other things. It isn’t the bad sort of strange and unexpected, not that he can see. In fact it is very much a relief to know that he won’t have to listen to constant bickering and mediate between she and everyone else.

Generally, she seems like she is doing significantly better.

“Did you finish reading it?”

It takes him a moment to connect the dots. “Almost.” He replies. Truth be told he has been hesitating to finish reading the journal. He knows already what is going to happen, he just isn’t ready for it. Doesn’t want to know the details and the how’s. Atsu is...was a sweet boy and he doesn’t want to flip the page only to find that he has died.

Agni, if he can’t even read it… He looks at his sister. At the scars on her neck and the very subtle bags under her eyes. He can’t even begin to fathom it.

She takes her teacup and cradles it in her hands the way she always had since they were kids. Sokka walks into the room and suddenly her eyes don’t seem so weary and tired. “I’m glad that you’re doing better.” He says finally.

Azula nods, “thank you.”

Sokka comes to stand in front of her, “you got dirt all over your face!” He declares boldly. “Let me just…”

She takes one look at his hands and grumbles, “Sokka, don’t you dare.”

Despite her protests, Sokka rubs the dirt from her cheek. By rubs, Zuko meant smears. He doesn’t just smear the dirt, Zuko thinks that he has added more to. His suspicions are confirmed at the crinkling of Azula’s nose.

“Zuzu, come here.”

Zuko steps closer. Honestly, he doesn’t know what he was expecting. She takes his sleeve, his lavish Fire Lord regalia and rubs her cheek clean. “Better, thank you.” She remarks.

[askaceattorney]

Dear askrikkaiandhyotei and Anonymous,

Absolutely!  Because for you, I know only Debeste will do.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Sebastian Debeste is the sort of character who can be instantly recognized -- his proud smile, punctuation mark hairdo, Themis Legal Academy uniform, cape-like red coat, and conductor’s baton announce his presence before he has to say a word.

That doesn’t stop him from speaking, of course.

His manner of speech is another strong characteristic -- he loves to talk about himself proudly and dramatically.  If it was his life goal to be an actor, he’d be well on his way, but it turns out he’s an aspiring new prosecutor, well on his way to become “The Best”...or so he thinks.

This brings us to yet another outstanding trait -- his tendency to get even basic things wrong, from case information to simple idioms.

You’ve have to love the irony in that mistake, don’t you?

His authoritative-but-naive attitude is pretty adorable at first, plus it makes it easier for Edgeworth to win arguments against him.  His cockiness even opens the door for Edgeworth to continue investigating.

But it turns out he’s not in quite the same category as your run-of-the-mill Ace Attorney prosecutor (cocky, self-righteous, and demeaning).  No, the main reason for his behavior is that he wants to be seen as a culpable capable prosecutor by those around him -- his mentor, Justine, his fellow prosecutors, and of course, his dear old Pops.  Who wouldn’t have this as a career goal, especially as a rookie?

With that in mind, it’s not so fun to see him goof up at every other thing he tries to do.

...Okay, maybe a little.

Sure, it’s mostly his own negligence that’s to blame, but you definitely can’t blame him for a lack of enthusiasm.  Even sadder than this, though, is his main reason for wanting to be a prosecutor.

Now, there’s a good question.

It’d be one thing if his father, whom he reveres as both a parent and a career role model, were to point out his clumsiness, and perhaps offer some correction, the way Edgeworth often does with Gumshoe.  Instead, though, he publicly disdains him, even calling him an idiot.  Thankfully, this doesn’t do much to discourage him from trying his best (in fact, it gives him another reason to prove himself as a capable prosecutor), and he’s lucky enough to have someone like Justine to provide the encouragement his father denies him.

The real tragedy, however, occurs when he learns (as we do) the ugly truth behind his role model.

As often happens in the Ace Attorney series (and in real life), arriving at the truth isn’t always pleasant, as poor Sebastian learns during Edgeworth’s P.I.C. hearing.  Not surprisingly, the thought of his father and role model being a criminal turns his world upside down.

And as if hearing the truth about his father wasn’t bad enough, he also learns a few unpleasant things about himself.

One by one, Sebastian’s accolades become entirely worthless, and whatever efforts he made to earn them are instantly rendered meaningless.  Even if he were twice as old as he is, I wouldn’t blame him for what he does next.

Like a kid who just got bullied, he runs off crying.  At least it can’t get any worse than that, right?

Obviously, it can.

Soon after that ugly scene at the P.I.C. meeting, he finds himself caught up in another case, and in need of rescuing.  It’s comforting to know he isn’t the only Debeste who goofs up, but now it looks like he’s hit rock bottom, both in his profession and in his self-confidence.

This brings me to the part that, as I mentioned once before, is the one moment in the entire Ace Attorney series that made me cry.  I’ve never been so unfortunate as to be kidnapped or belittled by a parent, but like Sebastian, I know the sting of realizing you don’t know near as much about your field of study as you thought you did.  In fact, I honestly wondered what he could do at this point, or what I would do in his position.

Thankfully, as fate would have it, he has a wise and caring prosecutor there to pull him out from the ditch he’s fallen into.

Unlike one of Edgeworth’s usual Logic Chess sessions, where his only goal is to lure the truth out of someone, he also uses this one to help out an emotionally traumatized Sebastian.  In fact, it could easily be compared to one of Athena’s therapy sessions.

It’s sad enough to see a prosecutor cry, but now his tears are even more bitter (and frequent).  Luckily, Edgeworth’s strategy of waiting patiently for his opponent, or in this case his temporary pupil, gradually helps Sebastian come out of his shell and answer the questions he’s been left to figure out, the biggest one being...

While Edgeworth can’t give him experience, he does offer him some very helpful wisdom:

As the conversation goes on, Edgeworth helps him build up the courage to face the truth about his father, to begin living his own life, and to face the greatest trial of his career, so to speak.  Most importantly, though, he gives him a lesson his father never bothered to teach him:

And in one of the most beautiful checkmates there ever was, Edgeworth sets Sebastian up, not only to be a capable prosecutor, but to be a better one than his father.  Not to mention, he even helps him fix some of his malapropisms!  Have you ever considered being a career counselor on the side, Edgeworth?

So, where does Sebastian go from there?  He mostly disappears from the scene until Edgeworth and company’s final confrontation with Blaise and Patricia, where he somehow (i.e. through the magic of Ace Attorney timing) shows up with crucial evidence in the nick of time, similarly to what Franziska once did in one of Phoenix’s trials.  As soon as he walks in, he’s faced with his biggest fear -- his former role model.

Not to mention an angry prosecutor who took his place after he abandoned his post.

The Sebastian we’ve saw before would probably walk away with his tail between his legs, but the one we’re seeing now?

In the next moment, Sebastian demonstrates in his face, his words, and an aura of courage, just who he is now -- not the “sniveling child” his father expects him to be, but a man who’s ready to accept his responsibilities as a capable prosecutor.  Even Edgeworth didn’t see his transformation coming.

Discovering himself wasn’t the only thing Sebastian was doing, though.  While Edgeworth and the gang were busy with their own investigations, he was hastily searching the garbage dump for the evidence his father threw away.  His efforts to find it were fruitless, but he didn’t come up completely empty-handed.

It seems like a dead end at first, but with Edgeworth’s help, he converts a piece of garbage into the key to finally exposing Patricia and his father for the “stinking” criminals they are.  Naturally, facing and prosecuting his own father takes a little encouragement from Edgeworth...

...but he works up the courage not only to face the truth, but to say goodbye to the one person he’s depended on, in a bold yet bittersweet fashion.

Something like that really does require The Best kind of person.

So, when it comes to character development, something Ace Attorney does beautifully every time, Sebastian Debeste serves as a shining example of a transformation from a bold, naive child riding his father’s coattails to a man who, unlike Blaise, who believes being The Best means being heartless, pursues justice over personal gain.  By the end of his story, he’s still somewhat unsure of himself, but at least his ambitions are a bit more reasonable this time around.

And with people like Edgeworth, Justine, and Uncle Ray around to show him the way, he's more prepared than ever to achieving that dream.

And of course we can’t leave out his unique hairdo.  The question mark shape could be seen as a symbol of confusion or lack of knowledge, while the transition to an exclamation point when he learns something new symbolizes a moment of clarity.  Alternatively, the question mark could be seen as his curiosity for learning new things, while the exclamation point symbolizes the learning process.  In either case, Sebastian’s story illustrates an important life lesson for anyone -- namely, that you don’t have to be The Best in order to keep learning.

-The Co-Mod

[starchildsteven]

This was originally a response to someone saying they viewed Rose’s death as let’s say suicide adjacent (which is a totally valid take btw, it just made me think) but it got so long I decided to just make my own post.

Suicide doesn't feel like the right word for what happened with Rose. Rose is so accepting of not existing. Not saying that never happens with suicidal people just she so completely at peace with it. Usually when suicidal people come to accept their death as inevitable it isn't with the degree of happiness Rose seems to feel. Yes, she is creating Steven but that doesn't change anything in my mind because lots of people who kill themselves think they are doing a good thing, that they’re ridding the world of a burden, they’re giving something to someone. Even then they don’t feel good about it just content with their choice.

I tend to see it as Rose considering the only thing she could do was create Steven rather than there is nothing she could do to fix what she had done. It isn't about self-loathing (though I'm sure she felt that too). We've come to see the act through Steven's perspective which also has us paint it as selfish when I think Rose's intentions were actually selfless in nature. Rose's motivation to me always felt like her thinking removing herself from the situation would be best for everyone involved but she took pride in that. She did it because she loved the Earth, humans and the Crystal Gems and like she said in "A Single Pale Rose" she wants to give it too them. I think Rose was aware that the Diamonds never really took their eyes off the Earth. Pink's "shattering" was not the end of the war so she was wrong about how much Yellow and Blue cared the first time. I don’t think she was foolish enough to believe corruption ended their interest either.

It’s baffling to me how ready fans are to chalk Rose becoming Steven up as some type of cowardice or running away from her problems. Fans are so ready to believe her choice was made for her with no regard to others. They are so willing to believe she just gave up. Which is a little ridiculous considering everything we knew about her character. She pleaded with Blue and Yellow for the freedom of Earth, she started a rebellion to save innocents and help other gems like her who felt trapped, she became Rose Quartz not to hide but to make the other Diamonds see her. She always faced her problems head on. Why then are fans so ready to ascribe this one actions to selfishness and fear. Maybe that is how the Diamond who abandon Spinel would have seen it but Rose Quartz is a very different gem by the time Steven is born. She has learned a lot and grown a lot. Sure she was still dismissive and manipulative. She still lied and thought she knew what was best for everyone whether it was true or not. She never really lost her sense of superiority over others. As their leader she still expected blind obedience from the Crystal Gems. She was not perfect.

But she cared about others too. She loved the Crystal Gems in a way she didn’t love Spinel. She also knew that she was what the Diamonds really cared about. Or she believed that to be the case. I think as far as she believed if she were not in the equation then the Earth would be safe. Pink Diamond was gone already but all that did was make her as the shatterer their new point of interest. I think Rose knew that there was only one way to truly give the Earth to the humans and the Crystal Gems and it was to make sure there was to no longer anything the Diamonds cared about on the planet.

"Jungle Moon" really does show us an interesting parallel between Rose/Pink and Steven. Pink believed herself to important  because she was a Diamond and clearly asserted such "I'm just as important as you!" Steven likewise asserts his value often. Many episodes have moments where Steven insists that he is a Crystal Gem. I could name three now. “Laser Light Canon,” “Bubble Buddies” and “The Test.” That isn’t nearly a complete list either.

The key difference here in my opinion is that Steven's insistence is fueled by a feeling of inadequacy. Rose's is fueled by a feeling of superiority. However with that said Steven is not immune to this holier than thou mentality. Honestly I hate the way he talks to Connie in “Dewey Wins.” He sounds so self-important when he says, "It had to be done." From this we can infer at least that Pink probably had her moments of feeling like a failure. Especially considering she was most likely a defective gem given her size. (I actually always loved the theory she was meant to be red and was over-cooked.) Feeling both more important than others and like you can never atone for your sins isn’t a great combination.

I also think something the fandom overlooks a lot when considering the creation of Steven and by extension Rose's non-existence is Greg. In "Three Gems and a Baby" Garnet is wrong but also not wrong. Steven is in essence a fusion of Rose and Greg. That's basically what a baby is biologically speaking. Though even if it isn't, that is most definitely the way a gem would see it. The way Rose probably saw it.

Whether you trust the timeline I made or not. One thing in it is definitely canon. Greg was 22 when he met Rose and Sour Cream was born 9 months later when he was either still 22 or 23. Sour Cream is about 5 to 6 years older than his son so Greg was around 30 when Steven was born. That’s at most 8 years.

That is nothing to a Gem! That's maybe a few weeks in human terms or if we’re generous a few months. Yet Rose only knew Greg for 8 years and decided to have a baby with him! That has to be clear here. Rose wanted to have a baby with Greg. Not a human. Greg!

That is so often overlooked! Rose was not looking to have a human baby when she met Greg. She wasn't actively trying to find a perfect guy for her experiment. In fact the Gems were intentionally cut off from humans at that point. Rose even tells him to leave, even though she liked him and barely considered him more than a plaything until he forced her to. Rose was not considering giving up her form to make a human baby before meeting Greg! At least not seriously. Maybe it had crossed her mind but she wasn’t seeking it out. He was a factor in her choice. 

My guess? Fusion is the best and worst parts of both gems (which is again the way Rose would see having a baby) and Rose wanted to be like Greg! Not just wanted to be like a human but specifically like THIS human. And Steven would be both of them and since she would be Steven so in a way she would like him.

Greg is a good person. Do you know how many times I have heard a fan say that they hate Greg? Never! I'm sure some fans do but it's not a popular opinion by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, most PearlRose shippers still like Greg. It's hard to not like Greg. Because Greg is authentically a good person. Greg is kind and giving and empathetic. Greg has a lot of happiness and love to spread.  Rose/Pink was adored in a very superficial way that she didn't feel she earned. Obviously in reality Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl loved her but it was never going to feel deserved. She would always be their leader before their friend or at least in her mind she would. In contrast to that people like Greg for who he is as a unique individual. Something I'm sure Rose admired.

My point is Rose believed Greg’s good would outweigh her bad. That’s actually really sad. Rose knew that she was bringing more of Greg into the world and less of her and saw that as a good thing. I'm sure she had many motivations but I think we should see her death as her sacrificing herself for what she ultimately knew was right and being at peace with that.

[arinaco]

The story of Pidge or Dark Youth as the main character

Translated and edited by @Nadezhda932 

First warning: Plance

Second warning: before reading this meta, I strongly advise you to read the previous metas about Lance and Pidge. Because I won’t repeat the thoughts expressed there, but I will refer to them.

Not so long ago (at the time of writing), a 200th Let’s Voltron podcast took place, where the voicers gathered together and remembered the glorious past when they voiced the series together. And Bex – the voice of Pidge – remembered Plance and compared it to a wonderful little garden. Naturally, this led to the beginning of the discussion, where we analyzed the characters and their interaction with each other. And the idea came up to try to pull the Pidge storyline on Heroine’s Journey. Well, I mean to try to check whether there are those necessary components in her story that allow us to say that yes, this is the real Heroine’s Journey. And, to my pleasure, I suddenly realized that the story arc of Pidge really suits these requirements, and it’s even more interesting in its nuances than the Journey of Allura. Why? Because Allura has a classic story – a girl must become more confident in herself, go against society, save her prince, defeat the evil queen, etc.. Pidge… her situation is the opposite. And I’ll try to explain why.

I’ll begin by describing how the attempt to “pull” the story into the stages of the journey actually takes place. To do this, you need to determine that the storyline of the character doesn’t consist of separate episodes, but has a single common outline that runs through the series, and find several important components in this outline:

A) The drawback of the main character, preventing her from gaining inner balance and harmony;

B) The lowest point of the Journey. The moment when the heroine realizes this shortcoming and begins her work to fix it.

These two things also make it possible to determine what becomes an imaginary reward for a heroine and what becomes a real reward, and thus we begin to perceive individual scenes with the heroine as a single construct – a story about self-digging, which is the Heroine’s Journey.

And the main drawback of Pidge is not only her egoism, because there are a lot of happy egoists in life. The main disadvantage of Pidge is the zero ability for social interaction that developed as a result of this egoism.

As well as an absolute lack of understanding of what is “criminal liability”.

The Holts adored their daughter with blind love, were proud of her mind and indulged in everything, and thereby served her very evil service, because the parents should not only love their child, they should prepare the child for adulthood and set the right moral compass. And, alas, Pidge has serious problems with this. In the series, she appears as a brilliant teenager, but at the same time lagging behind in social development. Not because she’s mentally ill, but because she grew up in an environment where that metaphorical muscle responsible for social skills simply wasn’t trained.

 Honestly, there are not so many ideal parents in the series. These are the parents of Hunk and Dayak, who performed a miracle, having managed to raise a mentally healthy person in an environment that clearly didn’t contribute to such a development of events. The classical educational school of ancient Daibazaal showed a real master class, and it’s a pity that the main characters cost only an orientation course.

The Pidge’s storyline isn’t the main one in the series, but it’s important enough to make an integral picture of her behavior if desired. You need to understand that social interactions are not just “hello – bye” or “let’s be friends against a common enemy” – I would even say that in such situations, skill isn’t required. The skill of social interaction is necessary in order to join the society where you’re only a drop in the ocean of people, and to learn how to live in it, avoiding conflicts. This is the ability to please, and the ability to circumvent sharp corners in communication… and this all needs to be learned. A person isn’t born with these skills, they learns them in the family and in society, and … by the age of 14, Pidge didn’t possess these skills. She often behaved rudely with others, if not boorishly, completely ignoring the status of these people, and this can no longer be attributed to a simple straightforwardness of character.

You may ask: where did all this come from? It’s easy to imagine.

Pidge had greenhouse conditions at home. Parents loved and understood each other and pampered their beloved daughter. The brother was much older, and Pidge didn’t have to be jealous or fight with him for a favorite toy. In addition, the Holt family was united by a love of science and lived, as they say, on the same wavelength. The absence of conflicts and acute angles in the family is wonderful, but alas, it doesn’t at all contribute to the ability to solve the conflicts and circumvent acute angles.

Another teacher is the surrounding society. The child looks at this society, observes and begins to repeat. The child tries to communicate, with alternating success, and draws certain conclusions from the result. And the problem of Pidge is that all her conclusions boiled down to the fact that “they love me because I’m special and smarter than all of them.” She considered herself the smartest and didn’t strive at all, not only to observe how others communicate, but also to try to adapt herself to other people. She didn’t hesitate to interrupt the teacher and make her incompetent, although at the age of 14 you can already understand that this is simply ill-mannered. Moreover, judging by the behavior in the classroom, it wasn’t the first time she acted in this way, but which is characteristic – none of those present was imbued with respect for her knowledge. Because social interaction doesn’t work unilaterally. You can demand only for submission, respect or acceptance is always a two-way work.

Pidge didn’t even realize that she was doing something wrong. She sincerely shared knowledge…

…but you must also be able to share knowledge, so as not to make yourself an arrogant pride.

And the problem is that the Holts didn’t attach any importance to this. After all, they also believed that “Katie is just a special and brilliant girl, and this civilians aren’t able to understand her because of their earthliness, but when she enters the Garrison …”. She entered the Garrison, so what? Her environment consisted only of extremely condescending and patient people – Hunk and Lance, and she rejected their friendship at the first meeting.

You see these people for the first time and don’t even want to spend a couple of minutes getting to know each other.

School is that litmus test that shows how the child will get along in society, and you can’t turn a blind eye for the fact that your child isn’t accepted in this micro-society. You need to work, you need to try to understand what’s wrong, and keep in mind that the problem can be not only in evil peers, but also in your own child, who is an innocent angel only for you.

Because a person is a social animal, and we have a psychological need for respect and recognition. While Pidge was a child, she was fine with her parents, brother and dog, but now a new adult life is knocking on the door, where she wants something more. She’s already 14 years old, even though psychologically she’s 11-13 years old, but she’s already a teenager. And she has a completely positive example of a motherly figure – successful professionally and in her personal life, and she probably wants the same for herself.

Nothing prevented Colleen from being both a brilliant scientist and a charming woman at the same time.

Moreover: Mrs. Holt has a short haircut, which means that having long hair is a personal desire of Pidge. Yes, she doesn’t get along with other children, but she tries to wear beautiful dresses and looks after her magnificent hair. She doesn’t say it out loud, but she clearly feels the need to be accepted not just as a child, but also as a young woman.

And she feels upset when she can’t get in contact with peers.

And here your parents won’t help you.

Yes, mother can say a hundred times that you’re beautiful, but this is not the same as the approval of your friends and the attention of the boys. And Pidge had problems with this, because she pushed peers away and couldn’t even get respect from them for her intellect and knowledge, which, with different behavior, could earn the approval of the teacher and admiration from other children. Because social skills in society are like traffic rules in a stream of cars. You can be a brilliant driver, but you will still be cursed by others if you turn without turning on the turn signal, or if you don’t miss a pedestrian.

But to solve a problem, you need to know about its existence. You need to understand that it’s here, and you need to solve it. And since her beloved relatives assured that everything was fine, Pidge didn’t realize what was wrong until she faced the real consequences of her actions. And this is exactly what the Heroine’s Journey tells. Moreover, the Journey of the Dark Heroine, because Pidge is the real Dark Youth, traveling in a group of the main characters of the series. 

It’s actually not so difficult to distinguish Dark Youth from Light Youth. You just need to look at what’s the main motive for a person to start a journey. Allura traveled for the desire to become the winner of evil, Lance – for the recognition of loved ones, Pidge… for her selfishness. Yes, because her love for relatives is very selfish, and we can clearly see how she treats the love of her relatives in a consumer way when she easily abandons her mother to regain her “property” – her father and brother.

Look at this poor woman. How she got older, how her hair grew – having lost her children and husband, she even stopped monitoring her appearance. But what does Pidge think about in S7 when they prepare to return to Earth? About how she’ll be punished. She doesn’t think about WHAT her mother experienced during all this time. Sorry, but for some reason I’m not too lazy to call my family at the age of 30 and say that everything is fine. And Pidge isn’t a toddler or even 10 years old to behave in this way.

But if Pidge is Dark Youth, then who is our Light Youth and where is our Animus? And here we get a very interesting point: the fact is that the series forms a whole bunch of heroes, where one character has two Dark Youths at once, and the other has two Light ones.

And these ligaments look like this: Lotor-Allura-Pidge and Allura-Pidge-Lance. Funny huh? A sort of love quadrangle.

In the case of Allura and her Dark Youths, the question arises of contrasting the common good and personal desires. Lotor and Pidge are two opposing sides of personality development that pull Allura like a rope in a competition.

Lotor is not just the Dark Youth of Allura. He’s an allusion to her ideal, to which she aspired. Lotor is not a teenager with personality problems, no, he’s a mature – even old – man. He’s a great diplomat and speaker, he’s polite and ready to compromise with everyone, but he never trusts anyone, because he’s constantly stabbed in the back. He’s ready to sacrifice all desires and affections for the fulfillment of the plan for the salvation of the universe, which he once set for himself. He’s confident in himself, he knows what he’s doing, he calculates everything in advance, but at the same time he improvises very well. An ideal politician and strategist with the most noble intentions. And he’s not a friend of the Alteans, not a commander or a king, but the Holy Savior Lotor. An example to follow, who took the cross upon himself – to atone for the sins of his father – and carried it, pushing aside everything personal for the sake of the greater good. He doesn’t allow himself to be angry at people or become attached to them, because all this can ruin his important mission.

So perfect and lifeless…

This is what Allura’s dream of becoming a ray of light for the universe could turn into. Nothing for yourself – everything for others. A lifeless holy idol who has long forgotten about love and personal wishes. The Alteans with their cult of sacrifice will fully approve it.

And Pidge really turns out to be his complete antipode.

Lotor is old, she’s almost a child. Lotor is polite and eloquent, she’s straightforward and often rude. Lotor doesn’t trust anyone, she completely believes her loved ones. Lotor acts for the common good, Pidge – exclusively for personal purposes. Lotor turned his back on his family, because he considered their actions immoral, Pidge fully and completely supports her family, no matter what happens. They can only be united by confidence in what they’re doing is right, but this is not much in which they agree.

An ancient man who wants to save the universe and a little girl demanding to return her dad.

And this pulls Allura in different directions – the dream of serving others and her own desires. None of it can be put on a pedestal, as the path of Allura is the path to a balance between these two aspirations. In the end, it was for a reason that Lotor reached out to her – the lifeless Saint figure really wanted to feel alive again, to love and trust someone. The savior wanted someone to save him.

Pidge’s parallels appear a little different. They say that all families are equally happy, but each suffers in its own way. And how much Lotor and Pidge differ in the role of Dark Youth, so much in the role of Bright Youth are Lance and Allura alike.

The Red Paladin, which should be Blue, and the Blue Paladin, which should become Red. As brother and sister, they go hand in hand in their insecurity, albeit regarding various aspects of life.

And you know, it's funny when you think that the Blue Lion is the right leg and the Green Lion is the left arm. Indeed, opposites.

I've already written about Lance and Pidge. Here I will say that the question of Lance and Pidge's relationship is a question of selfishness. Lance and Pidge both wanted public acceptance. But if Pidge, in pursuit of her family, abandons the idea of ​​establishing contact with others and achieves her goals through conflict and breaking the rules, then Lance, on the contrary, goes out of his way to achieve what he wants, almost pursuing people in attempts to get attention from them.

Funny contrast: Pidge completely neglects her appearance at the start of her journey, while Lance is the only one on the show who takes the time to look after his appearance even in the middle of a war. Beauty is one of the most affordable ways to gain recognition. And if Pidge refuses even it, then Lance clings to attractiveness with his legs and arms, considering it a measure of a person's level of happiness.

Lance is a very compassionate selfless person, but in pursuit of status, he went against his own nature - he began to consider loved ones from a consumer point of view. And crossing with Pidge on this subject should have made him stop, take a look at himself and what he was doing. Take a look and think about it at last.

On the other hand, Lance is also a subject of interest. This is a childlike innocent affection that Katie developed towards the end of the story. Lance may not be the most attractive man, but he's an open and cheerful person who gave Pidge exactly what she lacked in school - sincere friendship and acceptance with all her flaws. Katie is still quite small in this regard, this is not some kind of serious romantic love, but this is a strong feeling, which over time, over the years, can turn into something more mature.

Having fun with friends is what Katie has dreamed of since school.

He is Pidge's Animus. A person with similar problems, but with the opposite approach to solving them.

It’s interesting that at the beginning of the journey it was Lance who didn’t notice until the last moment that Katie was a girl.

Everything is a little more complicated with Allura: Allura doesn’t appeal primarily to Pidge’s egoism, but to social skills. Yes, the idea of sacrifice is close to Allura as an Altean, and it is opposed to the egoism of the Green Paladin. But the main thing is different: Allura is polite, educated, diplomatic and, in the end, accepted and loved by society as an amazingly beautiful woman. And this is what Pidge would like for herself, without even realizing this need. On the other hand, Allura’s professional skills are forgotten by S8, those around her begin to perceive her only as a pretty alien girl, against the backdrop of the triumph of Pidge, whose ingenious mind is recognized in the professional circle of scientists.

And if Allura in the changed S8 turns into a damsel in distress for a noble knight who will worship her like the Virgin Mary, then Pidge becomes that very caricatured strong and independent woman, only instead of 40 cats she has robots. It’s caricatured, because it’s the image of a woman who declares that she doesn’t need anyone, and then, in longing for human warmth, she turns herself on to a pet in order to sublimate her psychological needs. In the case of Pidge, she builds herself a metal brother. And in ten years she’ll also build a metal lover, why not.

The truth is that a person is happy only when they realize themselves both professionally and personally. There’s a huge number of people who put their lives on the altar of some important mission, but later not so much of them could call themselves happy. On the other hand, there are a lot of women who abandoned their ambitions for the sake of marriage, and then regret it until their death.

So what is it – Pidge’s Heroine Journey? Let’s look at it in stages.

Stage 1 – Separation from the feminine.

Pidge is a teenager of 14 years old. She has problems with her peers, she can’t find a common ground with them, and therefore clings to her family – her cozy mini-world, comfort zone. But here a tragedy occurs: father and brother disappear on an expedition. Pidge finds out that something is unclear in this case, but the father’s authorities refuse to explain the situation, and she decides to find the answers in a not too legal way – secretly, despite all the prohibitions.

Feminine figure and beautifully decorated room…

…all this was left in the past.

This is very symbolic: Pidge leaves her mother alone to experience the tragedy and cuts off her hair – a symbol of her femininity.

Katie is not at all happy to lose her beautiful curls

Stage 2 – Identification with the masculine and gathering of allies

Pidge studies at the Garrison in the company of Hunk and Lance, hiding under the guise of a homely boy. At first she repels them, but since they’re a team, she has to communicate with them. But instead of making friends and learning to communicate, Pidge spends all her efforts looking for information about the family. Meanwhile, she begins to have confidence in Hunk and Lance, finds common interests with them, and gradually these two in her eyes pass from the category of strangers into the category of the ones whom she can even tell her secret.

And when Pidge once again can’t keep her mouth shut…

…it’s Lance who protects her.

Stage 3 – Road of trials, meeting ogres and dragons

Shiro's return and the beginning of their journey. Pidge grabs any lead to find her father and brother, and is even ready to give up everything and everyone for the ghostly opportunity to save the family. On the other hand, one way or another, she begins to become attached to the people around her. True, this attachment is selfish. Pidge worries about the safety of her friends, but she isn't interested in what they grieve and worry about. Her fixation on the family is in stark contrast to the fact that the main leadership backbone of the team - Allura, Shiro, Keith and Koran - are orphans who have no loved ones except for each other and a common cause.

Keith with his desire to save Shiro is certainly disingenuous, but he described Pidge's problem correctly...

Stage 4 – Finding the boon of success

Pidge finds her brother and saves his father. But at what cost? The height of selfishness is to send a person to certain death, without even trying to give him a chance for being rescued. And personally for Pidge, this person is only to blame for the fact that he's not included in the circle of her loved ones - the circle of those whom she considers her "property". But she still gets her way, she saves her family, without any remorse. And then she has fun with friends who have already become family members for her - part of that very micro-world.

And it was during this period that Pidge appeared in the game as the most closed character, fenced off by armor from other people.

And the mess in her room as an indicator that Pidge wasn’t going to invite guests at her place…

Stage 5 – Awakening to feelings of spiritual aridity; death

Homecoming. As people say, be careful of what you wish for. Pidge constantly tried to leave friends and other people behind, in the pursuit of saving the family; as a result, when she returns home, she’s grounded. Now, her circle of loved ones is forcibly composed only of her parents and brother. Moreover, the most annoying thing happens: Lance invites Allura on a date. Lance complained to Hunk for several weeks about being unworthy of Allura, while Hunk listened sympathetically. And there was no one who could interrupt the flow of this whining, because this someone was sitting at home. As a result, Hunk persuades Lance to go out and invite Allura on a date, and she unexpectedly agrees.

And after so many days of isolation, Pidge is free only to find out that Lance is going on a date with Allura. Pidge liked Lance, she even tried to compliment him, although unsuccessfully – and now he sailed away to a beautiful princess, and Pidge could only watch this process.

A scene called “She tried”.

She even helps to arrange this date: to get Allura the dress for which she gives the game – the subject of their common interest with Lance. But that’s where her altruism ends: she doesn’t stand it and decides to follow them, because until the last she hopes that Allura will refuse Lance, but this doesn’t happen.

Yes, Pidge is respected as a scientist, but how much does it mean if the person dear to her, whose attention she values, is now fully devoted to his new girlfriend? You can say as much as you like that they’re a team of paladins, but we know very well that couples are always a little apart, as they feel like spending time together.

And Katie knew perfectly well that now Lance is unlikely to find time to play with her.

Stage 6 – Initiation and Descent to the Goddess

Here’s a difficult moment. The fact is that this moment takes place in S8, in an episode that was originally intended for S7. And I can’t help but wonder if it should have taken place in the earlier version of the script, because according to the logic of the travel, Pidge should have it. This conversation takes place in a dead forest, where Pidge and Allura are left alone at some point, and Pidge, who saw how Allura saved the tree, asks if she can help Olkarion. After this, Katie has to admit that yes – she followed them, and naturally the question of Lance’s feelings will be raised.

Allura is Pidge’s Light Youth. She agreed to a date with Lance out of feeling guilty and out of gratitude for his concern. Her consent is pure sacrifice, altruism. And she admits it while talking to Pidge. That yes, she doesn’t have feelings for him, but he loves her. Remember the first episodes, where Pidge confidently says that a princess in her place would do the same. But now she sees that Allura, on the contrary, is ready to sacrifice the personal for the sake of someone else’s good. And this makes her think, because Lance chose Allura.

Throughout the series, Pidge was not very friendly with the princess. When Allura found out that Pidge was by no means a boy, she was the first to welcome Pidge as a girl, because having only men in her social circle wasn’t very comfortable for a girl. But then Pidge kept in mind only the search for a family and simply didn’t understand that she was offered girlish friendship. But now, in this situation, Katie was the only one to whom Allura entrusted her “female” secret, and the Green Paladin saw her tragedy and in some ways even managed to share it. Pidge saw in her not a rival, but a person who had lost absolutely everything and was ready to sacrifice the little that was left of her.

You know, at the first meeting with the Olkari, Pidge says that she’s very far from nature, she’s closer to technology and robots, to which she doesn’t need to adapt. This can be considered a metaphor for how she pushes living people away from her, how she turns away from a simple human desire to realize herself socially. 

And it is very symbolic that the bottom point of the journey occurs precisely in the middle of the dead Olkarion.

Stage 7 – Urgent yearning to reconnect with the feminine

After talking with Allura, Pidge begins to look at the situation in a new light. She’s still upset that Lance is now devoting all his time to his new girlfriend, but now sees him not as an “escaped property”. Now for her he’s a really unhappy guy deserving of support, not ridicule. She generally begins to reconsider her position towards people, although this is a very slow process.

When they leave to celebrate Clear Day, she leaves her family — which she saved with such zeal — for the sake of helping Lance get a present for Allura. For the sake of the opportunity to stay with a loved one and find a gift for his girlfriend. And she sincerely seeks to please Allura, because she really imbued with sympathy for her. And when Lance tells her how useless he feels, Katie tries to support him, inspire, and somehow help him solve the problem of relations with another girl. And for a spoiled egoist, this is a very serious step towards change.

By the way, did you notice that in Clear Day episode there’s not a single scene of the interaction between Pidge and Lance, although Katie knows from somewhere that Allura asked for a present? It was cut out while editing S8.

What kind of torment would you go for friends?

Unfortunately, I can only assume what the next steps should look like, too much has been cut.

We know that Allura will decide to announce to the paladins that she’s going to save Lotor, and perhaps Pidge will be the second after Lance to support her in this. Maybe she will even play a role in ensuring that the conversation between Allura and Lance takes place.

She will be next to Lance after the return of the prodigal prince and will morally support him. Perhaps they will even play the game as they dreamed in their podcasts. They’re still children who are just entering adulthood, and after everything they have experienced, they must find a place for joy.

In addition, Pidge has guilt before Lotor, and after her selfish behavior it’ll be important that she realize this and apologize. In general, this will be a lesson for her: a lesson in acknowledging her wrong, and a lesson in humility. The beginning of a long journey of working on oneself, which will allow Pidge to finally realize herself not only professionally, but also personally. It’ll allow her to stop repelling the world, accept it, and learn to swim with everyone in a single stream of the river called “life”.

After all, green is the color of life. As well as blue.

[obeymematches]

Hi, I’d love a matchup! You put so much care into them. As far as my personality goes, I’m very quiet. Typically I don’t talk unless I’m prompted. When I’m with people I like or know though, I tend to make sarcastic remarks or joke around in general. Even so I’m still not very talkative. I articulate my thoughts better through text, so that’s how I tend to communicate about my interests or deeper things in length. I’m an empathetic/sympathetic person, but unfortunately, (1)

I’m rather bad at feelings, so I tend to either give advice on how to fix what made them upset or just lend an ear and let them vent. I believe I’m a good listener at least. I’m also extremely nonjudgmental and laidback; you won’t see me making much of a fuss over anything. Everyone considers me a little eccentric too, so who am I to judge? In fact I’d probably indulge with them as best I could. As for my own hobbies, I play multiple instruments, (2) play video games, draw, and dabble in archery. I love hanging out in abandoned places and taking walks at night too. I collect rocks and other useless trinkets I find on the ground because it makes me happy, and I looooove plants. For a partner I’d need someone that can give me a lot of space without feeling like I don’t care about them. I’m very introverted and someone that would constantly needs attention to feel loved would probably feel like I don’t care about them (3) whenever I take time for myself. I also would like someone that understands the way that I show affection; I accept them fully, I indulge in their interests. I offer that inherent trust of never abandoning them. And when they are sad, that my awkward back rubs or suggestions for their problems are just how I show that I really care and am doing my best with something I’m not very good at. If I have someone that can accept me for my reclusiveness, (4) they would have someone that accepts them for whoever they are, too. I’m also very calm in nature, so I hardly ever get steaming mad. Overall, it can be hard to get to know me because I’m generally a lone wolf, but if they do get the chance to know me well they’ll find I’m the type that they can talk to for just about anything. With some sarcastic and perhaps overdramatic remarks and humor. That’s all, thank you! (5)

Hiiii!! 

aaw thank you for saying that! i do take my time with requests though😤 i hope you’re still here anon!!! 

Okay I wanted to do yours yesterday but i’m gonna keep it real with you i had to think a bit more about it so sorry! 

Anyways what I want to say is that I match you with Solomon ! 

here is why;

I don’t think your quiet nature would bother him at all. I mean he can prompt you to speak if he wants to. I think he gets more invested when he learns that you’re actually sarcastic and funny once you open up. 

Well because of the brothers you don’t really have much chances of talking in person for quite a while, so the fact that you open up via texting more is actually a good start. Later you can sneak out with him and by then you can give more of yourself to him and vica versa. I don’t think he is the one to open up a lot through texting because he has his secrets, but once you talk more often in person that will change, so just be patient! 

Well as I mentioned Solomon ain’t the one who vents about his problems very often but when he decides to open up pls just listen to him it’s rare that he does that!!

pros of that is you don’t have to worry about being bad at feelings on the regular (especially at the first stage), con of that is sometimes you should prompt him to open up more, let him know that he can trust you, etc

The fact that you are a chill lover means that you probably wouldn’t mind if he took some extra time researching something, isolating himself from the world for a couple days or so. Though I think that would only happen before you establish a relationship and the early stages of it. Later when a thing that i’m not going to spoil turns out i’m sure he would want you by his side through anything he does. 

so anyways that saves you some serious conflicts

I think he would be supportive of your hobbies and he would sometimes indulge but sometimes not really. I think it would depend on how busy he is and how interesting he finds a certain hobby of yours. But like in the first stage he would do anything to sweep you off your feet so he is going to indulge in whatever even if he isn’t particularly into something. 

he would definitely love to hear you play an instrument, for example! 

I think he is a good partner to join you on a midnight stroll. I mean he is a powerful sorcerer, you could feel pretty safe next to him. 

oh he can show you his own rock collection darling. this one is from the reaper’s cave, and that one over there-

i think he is pretty flexible when it comes to space he should give to his partner so don’t worry about that, he gets it. just communicate your needs honestly and there will be no conflict about this

it’s great that you accept people without judging  - goes without saying why thats important when it comes to Solomon

oh don’t worry he made a pact with Asmo, i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be more overdramatic than him, and if Solomon can handle that then he can handle you too! 

in general he does everything to find a way to your heart and earn your trust - he has plenty of experience, he can befriend the most needy and the most introverted demons, so he is pretty confident about conquering your heart too! 

Not many conflict arise in this relationship, if anything that can be a bit unhealthy is him keeping stuff (including feelings and troubles) for himself, but yeah that can be changed. 

[ariyadaivaris]

im giving this very minimal editing. this is a very long post because i thought about gold standard last night and had an out of body experience. it is not very good because i wrote it and also it was like 4 in the morning and i was unwell. i don’t know why its worded the way it is it sounds like i was trying to sound professional and thoughtful or something and i dont know why the fuck i tried that how embarrassing cringe and fail blogger. i am posting it anyway because this is what i do is embarrass myself online. thank you <3 

  Tony after being betrayed said he was hurt, but he knew what teaming with That Guy offered, what the benefits were, and why someone would do it. This is the thing: WHY did the betrayal happen? It happened because Tony stood up to That One. Tony stood up to Enzo specifically because Ariya failed, and when Enzo chewed him out for it Tony stepped in. This was both righteous and kind, and it made everything harder.

  Ariya participated in the betrayal because of this. BECAUSE Tony was kind to him! Because Tony saying the way Ariya was being treated was wrong, and if Ariya believes that, then he is suddenly in a LOT of danger at the champion's hands. Ariya has feuded with a few people already. He has been humiliated for no reason. He has been beaten down by someone who wanted it more. Ariya isn't in a great place to think he can leave and make it. Ariya made a deal with the devil, he's safe as a goon, he cannot fight what happens to him now. Tony and Drew have each other, if it breaks bad, and they're both friends with Ariya he guesses, but not in the same way. He has nowhere to go and no way to fight.

  Tony, however, DOES fight. Tony challenges Ariya's idea that he has to suck it up and deal with it. If it's all three of them against him, then maybe they could get out. Ariya gets his idea about the shape of the world, the place everyone has in it, challenged. And he rejects it! He can't accept it! Tony is fighting to protect HIM! And he denies it!

  And the thing is, this is something Tony understands. Tony confronts Drew instead of Ariya, because--well because dubya weighs their importance differently because of the racism but because Drew hasn't bought in the way Ariya has. If anyone is OVER enough to challenge Enzo at this time? It is Mister FUCKING PowerPoint babey!!!!!!!! Drew gets onboarded and accepts because it might make him more popular, more able to gain traction for his bullshit no fun allowed ideas! Ariya is backed into a corner of his own design, and its not good and it doesn't make him betraying Tony FINE, but Tony understands what happened. Why Ariya did that. In a way, he understands Drew, too, of course. The influence is too appealing, he knows that. But Drew /chose/ to join in when he was given a chance to help Tony. 

  Maybe Drew needed to regain confidence too, maybe he needed to get back on his stupid little feet, it's been awhile since I've seen that storyline play out and I dont remember all the details. But I think the other thing is...Tony and Drew were literally closer at the time. Ariya was still their friend, OBVIOUSLY, even if the canon was noncommittal about saying it, but Tony and Drew were like. I mean. YOU know. You were there. Drew turning on Tony, after all that they'd done together, held so much weight behind it. Tony doesn't demand an explanation from Ariya. But he NEEDS to know Drew is sorry. He needs things to be okay between them. But they're not, and they never are again.

  This is...another thing. Drew doubles down on this to the point it turns him into something else entirely. Tony demands an apology from him, and he /refuses/. He offers some small, pathetic I'm Sorrys during the match, as long as he's getting hurt, as long as Tony has the upper hand, but when push comes to shove, he breaks in the other direction. He's not sorry. He didn't do anything wrong. Tony held him back, if you really think about it actually, because why would Drew have ever done anything wrong? Really, this is Tony's fault if you think about it (it was not Tony's fault)

  Ariya isn't given a chance to apologize in the same way. Tony and Drew clash during the tournament. Ariya gets knocked out in round one, gets injured soon after (which breaks up a potential feud with Mustafa as well and every fucking day it makes me want to scream, I would do anything on this earth for them to feud, please God take me back) and spends most of 2018 out of action. There's just no time, and even if there was, its questionable if dubya would even care about the opportunity. The next time they meet, it's when Tony's the champion and Ariya has finally decided hes better off alone anyway.

  Tony is different. He's the champion, and he's a face, at that. He's earned the title by seeking vengeance against someone who wronged him, and he found it. He's lost in a lot of ways, but he's trying to be confident, and he is trying to become the kind of person who can represent the championship. Not just as someone who got it on the way to a kind of small interpersonal victory, but as a Real Champion. The kind 205 (usually) fosters. The kind that didnt ruin his life.

  Tony is also the same. He's Ariya's friend. In the middle of a sea of changes, Ariya is familiar. They can pick up where they left off, if Ariya wants. If Ariya just...if he just changes alignments for Tony. If he accepts that Tony wants him. 

  Ariya is different. Alone after abandoning Kenta during a failed attempt at vengeance against a mutual enemy. Akira, who Kenta discarded after a few too many losses. Akira, who beat Ariya in pursuit of the title, a loss that Ariya never really came back from. Ariya loses to Akira again, even playing support for someone else. And he lashes out. And he works on his own, because he doesn't trust anyone to help him.

  Ariya's also the same. He lashes out, and he doesn't trust anyone to help him. Ariya carries his career around on his back. He carries, in reflection of someone else's experience, a chip on his shoulder. It weighs him down. When Tony offers him understanding, he does what he has always done, and he rejects it. Tony faces Drew, the ghost of their shared past, and Ariya is there to remind him exactly why he exists as he does now. "I didn't hurt you, but I could have. I just wanted you to know." Tony cannot trust Drew anymore. He shouldn't trust Ariya, Ariya warns him.

  Ariya doesn't say sorry, because he can't, because he's too busy sabotaging his last remaining friendship for Tony's own good, for his own good, for him to convince himself he never cared in the first place, but he regrets it. He cuts Tony off because it's easier than apologizing because this motherfucker will NEVER admit to having problems, he will drink water with a lemon slice and that will fix everything, thank you, but he does this to warn Tony off before Ariya can hurt him again. Ariya lashes out. It's what he does. Its better this way, where Tony can't get hurt.

  (Ariya, who doesn't put himself in harm's way for anyone, who has Evasion as his middle name, who sneaks around conflicts every chance he gets, flattering and tricking and taking opportunities because he doesn't trust his own skills to get him wins, Ariya thinks he's protecting Tony. But maybe he's still protecting himself. Ariya saw Tony and Drew, saw them again, saw how they have something that he doesn't. Ariya can't trust anyone the way they trusted each other. Ariya will never, ever be to Tony what Drew was. The sooner Ariya prevents even the chance for that comparison to exist, the sooner they can forget it ever happened, the sooner he can stop thinking about it like Tony could want to be his friend all the same. Like Tony could be thinking he's just not a threat the way Drew is. Like Tony could know everything about Ariya and forgive him anyway, like Ariya could ever do right by that forgiveness. Like Ariya could /ever/ earn anything.)

  It took a long time for them to get where they are even now! Tony and Ariya danced around the idea of teaming with each other for a long time, talking around it and avoiding each other and not thinking about it. Now that they are, we can actually see HOW their relationship has evolved since then. Ariya and Tony have remained a team, and Ariya has begun to risk things for people. He was doing it a bit before, with someone who definitely didn't deserve it, but Ariya is now trying to actively protect Tony in matches, after matches, when he's hurt. Ariya hasn't asked for Tony's help or really accepted it on a level deeper than Win Match yet (and honestly Ariya probably realistically needs more help than anyone can give him, help that has to come from himself), but he's offering his own. And when Ariya realizes he's not winning on his own, when he had his little Moment at the beginning of the year where he got ready to sabotage and run because he can't start depending on people and especially not on Tony, the LAST person who needs to be looking after Ariya again, when that happened, Tony took a step back and let Ariya work on his own. When Ariya does what he needs to to feel In Control, which is usually a little murder but I like him so it's okay, Tony leaves him to do it on his own or plays support for him instead. 

  Its like... there is a healing in the rift between them in the specific way it needed to heal, y'know? It's not perfect and there's always a chance the writers get bored again and do some bullshit, but like...tony and Ariya specifically have like. One of the most interesting relationships in wrestling right now. It's like. God. I could just die thinking about it. I care them