#and honestly. I only went back to check the chap number once I saw oh is this The Thing? so like even chap number notwithstanding.....

[tonyglowheart]

Okay, wait lmao. I got to chap 45 and was surprised too see what I think is That Betrayal that I see some people get so so hung up about. Is this it? in Chapter 45? Chapter 45?? out of 128?? Like the way I saw some ppl cite it as a "I like yanshen except-" or like this is an unforgiveable thing by YWS.... and it's like. idk man, we're not even at the halfway mark yet. YWS is still like in his enacting his theorem on the world to try to get SQ to see it as a proof of concept stage. It also didn't really feel like it came out of nowhere at least not for me lmao, I was like, yeah this makes sense as a next step, like. whatever YWS does has to be an escalation and it has to come from him, and it has to be something that WOULD be personal like this. Especially after SQ called him his friend (even if part of the excuse was that it's easier to explain and etc)

[drabbles-mc]

With Me

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Request by Anon:  I absolutely loved the new Nestor fics!! Can i request “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.” with him????

Warnings: light angst (with a happy ending), language, Nestor being ~jealous and protective~

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Sorry my blog has been kinda dead lately. Been struggling with some work stuff and it’s given me a bit of writer’s block. I’m hoping to get back to it. Just know that if you sent me a request I am totally planning on writing for it, it just might not happen quickly. And I’m hoping to update my multi-chaps soon as well. Thanks for all your patience. Enjoy this lil Nestor one-shot! xo

General Mayans/Nestor Taglist: @mayans-sauce @thesandbeneathmytoes @paintballkid711 @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @queenbeered @sillygoose6969 @sesamepancakes @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @gemini0410 @multiyfandomgirl40 @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @garbinge @amandinesblogofstuff​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @the-radical-venus​

You were sitting on the barstool next to Nestor’s, both of you commiserating over how exhausting your weeks had been. Work was very different for the two of you, obviously, but you were both drained nonetheless.

The bar you went to was a quiet one. It was mostly business men and women doing the same thing the two of you were—blowing off steam after a long week. People didn’t pay the two of you much mind, which suited you just fine. You and Nestor had a habit of getting lost in your own little bubble anyway.

You were about to jump into your next work story when your phone started going off in your pocket. You glanced over at Nestor as if to ask if it was alright to answer. He nodded and you lifted the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” you paused, smiling, “Hey, baby. Nothing, I’m at the bar with Nestor. Do you wanna st—” you stopped, expression falling, “Oh, okay. No, I get it. I’ll talk to you later. Yea, you too. Bye.”

You hung up with a heavy sigh. Nestor sat silently for a moment before asking, “All good?”

You nodded, rolling your eyes, “Yea. Cancelled again.”

Even though he knew the answer, he still asked, “Dante?”

“Mhm,” you shook your head slightly, wondering why you were still at all surprised.

Nestor bit back the snide comments swirling around in his brain. He had never been a fan of Dante, and he let you know that. Nestor wasn’t ever rude to him, but they weren’t friends either. You knew that it didn’t help that your boyfriend was intimidated by Nestor, even if he never admitted it.

“That mean you have time for another drink?” he tried to lighten the mood.

You laughed, “Means I have time for a few more,” you immediately flagged down the bartender to order another round for both of you.

A few quickly turned into…more than that for you. Nestor tried to get you to slow down but he knew that it was a losing battle at that point. The best he could do for you was to take your keys, so he did. He knew that after an already shitty week, this was the final straw, but he still hated to see you so drained and frustrated and still trying to pretend that you were alright.

“Fuck him,” you blurted out as Nestor helped you stumble-walk to his car.

He chuckled, “I know.”

He let you rant the whole drive to your apartment about how fed up you were with your boyfriend. He wondered if you’d remember it all in the morning and finally, maybe, break up with him. Nestor knew he was biased, but you deserved better. He told you that constantly, but you always waved him off, saying it wasn’t that bad.

“Your relationship should be better than just not bad, Y/N,” trying to talk sense to you in the state that you were in was futile, but he still had to try.

“You’re so sweet, Nestor,” you cooed tiredly from the passenger seat.

He didn’t respond, not wanting to feed into words you wouldn’t remember in the morning. He glanced over at you a couple minutes later and saw that you’d fallen asleep. There was no stopping the smile that spread across his face at the sight of you.

Before he knew it, he was parking in front of your apartment building. As much as he didn’t want to wake you, he knew he had to. He got out and walked over to your side of the car, nudging you awake. You groaned in protest, but allowed him to help you out of the vehicle.

He was thankful that you only lived on the second floor of your building. With a sigh, he knocked on the door. He’d already let your roommate know that he was bringing you home. She opened the door, clearly exhausted and bundled up in her bathrobe.

“Sorry,” he offered up as he crossed the threshold into the apartment.

She shook her head, “Don’t be. Thanks for getting her home safely.”

He helped you to your room, gently lowering you onto the bed. You had no desire to change into pajamas and it wasn’t a battle that Nestor was going to pick. He pulled the blanket up over you, letting out a quiet sigh as he lightly rested his hand on your shoulder for a moment.

Not wanting to linger for too long, he turned and walked back towards your bedroom door. He heard you mumble out a quiet thank you, and he smiled to himself as he shut the door behind him.

Your roommate was still in the living room, an expectant look on her face, “Can I ask what happened to her?”

Nestor sighed and shrugged, “Shit with Dante.”

She shook her head, “Of course.”

“They have a lot of issues lately?”

She shot him a curious look, “No more than usual, I guess. Why?”

“He’s a waste of her fucking time.”

She bit back a laugh, knowing that Nestor was extra protective of you. She had a pretty good idea of why, too, “No, really, tell me how you really feel,” she smiled.

“Come on, you see it too, right? He doesn’t deserve her. She doesn’t belong with him.”

She fought back the urge to smile, “Who does she belong with, then?”

“With me,” the words came out before he could stop them. His eyes went wide, instantly realizing what he had said. Before he could try to take it back, though, she held up her hand to stop him.

“You ever gonna say anything to her about that?”

He shook his head, “What’s the point?”

She shrugged, “You might be more convincing than you think. That’s all.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, “Mhm,” he sighed, “Anyway. Sorry for barging in so late.”

She chuckled, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can take her to get her car tomorrow.”

She nodded, “Sounds good. Have a good night.”

“You too,” he walked out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him.

He was mentally kicking himself the whole drive home. Why he wasn’t able to catch himself before he said anything was beyond him—he was usually better than that. He just hoped that your roommate wouldn’t say anything to you about it.

You woke up the next morning with a groan, and a throbbing sensation in your head. You had a vague set of memories from the night before, but it was hard to think about it through the hangover. You slowly forced yourself to sit upright, gently rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You checked your phone and saw that you had multiple missed texts from your boyfriend, and that was when it all really came rushing back. You let out a heavy sigh, making the conscious choice to ignore him for the time being. You weren’t done being upset with him.

You slowly made your way to the kitchen for coffee and aspirin. You heard your roommate chuckling from the living room and shook your head, “Don’t.”

She laughed, “What are you talking about? I didn’t say anything.”

You sighed as you poured coffee into your mug, “You don’t have to. I already know what you’re going to say.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

You threw back a few aspirin before turning to look at your friend, “You’re going to say that he is more stress than he’s worth, and that I should’ve left him about ten cancelled dates ago.”

She nodded, “And the number will keep getting higher the longer you put it off.”

You shook your head slightly, “I know it’s shitty, Julia. I’m not an idiot.”

“I never said that you were. But you know that if the roles were reversed you would be telling me the same thing.”

You let out a dry laugh, “Since when do I ever take my own advice?”

“Maybe you should start,” she paused for a moment, “Nestor said he’d take you to go get your car, by the way.”

“Fuck,” you groaned, “My car. Didn’t even think about that.”

She shrugged, “Call him. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to come and whisk you away.”

You chuckled as you got your phone out to text him, “You make it sound so extravagant.”

“He’s a good guy, you know,” she sipped on her coffee.

You looked over at her, “Don’t.”

“What? I’m just…stating a fact.”

You took another swig of your coffee and walked away without another word on the matter, desperate to take a shower and put some more comfortable clothes on. You couldn’t remember the last time you fell asleep in your work clothes like that.

By the time you were done showering and getting ready, Nestor was already outside your apartment building. You said goodbye to your roommate, trying to make it was quick as possible before she could say anything else. On a couple other occasions, before Dante, she had made comments about you and Nestor. She laid off of it once you got a boyfriend, though, so you were wondering what made her pick the habit back up again.

You collapsed into the passenger seat of Nestor’s car with a sigh. He looked over at you, smiling, “Looks like you had a rough one last night.”

“Thank you so much for bringing me home. I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t be. Glad I could help,” he paused, “You talk to him at all?”

You sighed, “No. I don’t even want to at this point. He’s just gonna apologize and say it won’t happen again. But it will.”

“Why are you wasting your time with him, then?” he kept his tone fairly neutral considering how much the situation bothered him.

You shrugged, “Sometimes I’m not even sure, honestly. Sunk cost, maybe? I don’t know. Breakups are always so messy.”

“I can deliver the message for you,” there was a lightness to his tone but you knew that he definitely would.

“Ha, that would be a sight for sure,” you laughed, shaking your head.

The rest of the ride passed with silence between the two of you, the only noise coming from the music playing quietly from the car radio. Every now and then you’d look over at Nestor, thinking about what your roommate had said. With concentrated effort you were able to push the thoughts from your mind.

“I’m just saying,” he said out of nowhere as he pulled into the parking lot of the bar, “you deserve someone who, at minimum, fucking shows up for you.”

You smiled at him, “I appreciate it, Nestor,” you unbuckled and stepped out of the car, walking around to his side as he got out, “And I appreciate you always looking out for me. I’ve got it handled, though.”

He stood in front of you as you leaned back against the side of his car, toying idly with the keys in between your fingers. There was a small smirk on his face as he took in the sight of you, still thinking you looked beautiful hungover in your sweats, fresh out of the shower.

He shrugged, “I know I can’t tell you what to do. But you deserve more than being disappointed all the time,” he sighed, “You know I think Dante’s an asshole. But I’d be willing to look past that if he was at least good to you, but he’s not. You talk about sunk cost but why keep wasting your fucking time if he’s not even making you happy?”

You couldn’t meet his eyes, “Because it’s better than being alone.”

“He’s still making you feel that way anyway, though!”

“I know!” you snapped. You took an unsteady breath, knowing that this blowout was a long time coming. You just wished that it didn’t have to happen right in that moment, “You’re right, okay? And yea I know better than to just be with someone for the sake of being with someone but…I don’t fucking know, Nes,” you shook your head, “Sometimes I just think that it’s easier this way. I know what to expect, even if the expectations aren’t exactly good. Leaving and having to tear down all those walls again with someone new? That’s fucking exhausting and I don’t want to keep doing that over and over again.”

“So you’re just gonna stay with him and be miserable forever?”

“Forever,” you scoffed, “C’mon, don’t be dramatic.”

“Well that’s the alternative, right? You either leave him, or you stay with him forever.”

“Why is this such a fucking issue for you all of a sudden?”

“Because you were on the brink of a fucking bender last night because of him. I hate that someone out there is making you feel that way when they’re supposed to be the one making you happy.”

“It’s not your job to worry about me and keep me in check,” your eyes were glued to the tips of your shoes.

“Yea, it is,” he stepped in, gently cupping your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him, “because I care about you.”

A wave of heat washed over your entire body and you couldn’t force yourself to move, or talk. All you could do was look into his eyes and try not to let your knees buckle underneath you. You and Nestor had hugged and touched a million times but not like this, never like this. He made you feel small and safe all at once.

“I just want you to be happy,” his voice was soft.

“I know,” you finally forced the words out, barely audible.

He traced his thumb across your cheek, “I could make you so happy, Y/N.”

You didn’t know why you felt like you were about to cry, but you did. You tried to take a deep breath to calm your nerves as you rested your hands over his. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, “I know.”

“Will you let me do that?”

“Nes…”

“You know I’m right. You said it yourself,” he let out a soft chuckle as his hands slid down so they were resting on your shoulders.

You smiled up at him, realizing how close he had gotten, closing what little distance was between the two of you and nearly pinning you against the side of the car. You ran your hands over your face, a smirk fighting its way onto your face despite the myriad of emotions coursing through you, “You’re not gonna let this go, huh?”

He smiled, shaking his head, “No.”

You laughed, but your expression quickly sobered as you looked him in the eye, “I can’t lose you, Nestor.”

“You won’t,” there was no hesitation in his response, “I promise. You just, you gotta give me a chance.” You took a deep breath, leaning forward so your forehead rested against his chest. You shut your eyes, reveling in the way his arms instantly wrapped around you. He gave you a light squeeze, “You deserve to be happy.”

You pulled back from him just enough so that you could look at his face. He had one of the softest smiles you’d ever seen, and you couldn’t help but to smile in return when you saw it. You rested your hands on his chest, “We’re really gonna do this?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nodded, “I do.”

He smiled, “Then yea, we’re really doing this,” he pulled you tight against his chest with a laugh, “Can I break the news to Dante?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “Absolutely not. I get to do that part.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh, “Fine. I guess that’s fair.”

The two of you stood there like that for a few moments, processing the weight of everything that had just happened. You could feel the steady beat of his heart through his shirt, and despite the chaos of the situation that you were in, you found yourself feeling calm, reassured.

“Thank you,” you finally broke the silence, “for, you know, for not giving up on me.”

He squeezed you tight for a moment, “I’ve got you, always.”

It was refreshing to be able to believe what you were being told. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he meant it, knowing that your days of questioning things and being filled with disappointment and uncertainty were over. He felt like a breath of fresh air, like you were coming home after being away for far too long.

[glimmerkeith]

here is a small snippet of potential romcom au sequel. that is all.

“Well, I can’t thank you both enough for coming...getting another year older is better with good friends, yes?”

“Good drinks usually help too,” John quipped, but he meant it well enough--and certainly, plenty of that had flowed tonight. He hadn’t honestly expected otherwise, and was now feeling a pleasant buzz to accompany that.

Klaus cast him a sideways look at that. “Do you...need to spend the night?”

“John’s a shit driver even when he’s sober,” Ringo chuckled from his other side. “Nah, it’s Paul that drove you both here, right?”

Ringo’s assessment of John’s driving capabilities was painfully accurate, and it was definitely the more responsible driver of the two who’d brought them here tonight. Paul was now talking with Maureen, Ringo’s wife, as she buckled her son into his carseat. In the gathering twilight, the violet light shone on the matching highlights Mo had recently applied to her hair as she chattered away to her companion.

Zak wasn’t even two years old, but the good-tempered little chap had slumbered most of the birthday gathering away….either that or being passed from one cooing, adoring party guest to the next, and Paul was certainly one of them.

But now, the small party of guests who had gotten together for Klaus’ birthday had gone, leaving just the group of them. George had excused himself a bit earlier to go check on how his plants were coming along in the greenhouse, the hulking shape of which could be seen on the other side of the vast (though mostly barren) garden that stood just outside his and Klaus’ house.

He’d owned the property and his own nursery for a year now, but had been so busy grubbing around outside that the interior of the actual house was by and large left to his artistically-minded boyfriend, who had taken up the challenge of turning what had been a frankly dumpy little cottage into something much brighter and sleeker.

“The place looks like it should be in a magazine,” Ringo had proclaimed upon first seeing the updated interior, and George had given a little shrug.

“It’s on account that he’s a Taurus,” He’d said, as if that explained everything--but there was a degree of pride in his voice too. John had been so impressed that he’d eventually commissioned Klaus to help him with a project of his own, the grand opening of which was mere days away now.

In any case, the nursery itself wasn’t too far of a drive from London, but just enough that the lush green hills and trees of the nearby forest made it seem like almost a different world completely. George looked the happiest John had probably ever seen him these days.

And it had been a happy two years of his own as well, he thought now, gaze lingering on Paul a moment when Ringo made the crack about his driving. Sometimes, it was still a little hard to believe. “Yeah, uh...only one of us has a spotless driving record here. It’s not me.”

George came shuffling up from the greenhouse then, having earlier changed into his gardening Crocs, a holey T-shirt, and muddy jeans to do his mucking around--honestly, he looked a fright, but Klaus’ whole face lit up when he came near. “How are things, love?”

“They’re looking good.” George’s gaze swiveled back over to John then. “Hey, so remind me again when the bookstore’s re-opening is?”

“This Thursday, ten sharp. And you all are on the very exclusive VIP list, so I’d better see you there. Or you’re getting your eyes poked out.”

George gave him his familiar craggy grin. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They all bade their goodbyes then, and John climbed into the passenger seat of Paul’s car. They weren’t long on the road before he reached his hand out, and Paul took it in his.

“George is coming on Thursday, then?”

“Yeah, he is. Him and...well, just about everyone else I know, I guess.”

“It’s a big deal, John. Your new premises and all...you’ve even got a bloody cafe in the new place. You know it’s the real deal then.”

He was teasing, but in truth, installing a coffee bar in his new bookshop had been a moment of immense pride for John. Just how he had managed to get from the tiny, one-floor studio he’d once had for his bookshop to real, proper lodgings was still a subject of great pride and gratitude.

Raising the funds for it had been by and large his old assistant Cynthia Powell’s doing. When she got her art degree, she’d soon moved onto doing design for a local magazine, and she’d arranged for John to give an interview about owning one’s own business in Soho. It had done surprisingly good numbers, and business had picked up to the point where John actually had to hire some real staff members--and then, eventually, completely relocate to bigger and better premises.

And Paul had been there for him every step of the way. Every time he had another fight with the building contractors, or couldn’t figure out just how he was going to pay the light bill, and not to mention relocating into a new flat of his own to be closer to the new shop...just all of it. He had his friends, of course, but John couldn’t remember a time when another person had been so supportive of him. Not overly critical, as Aunt Mimi (and, bless his soul, George too) could be, or wishy-washy like Ringo. Just himself.

“I can’t wait for you to see the final thing,” He told him now with a grin. Though Paul had helped with arranging a lot of the bookshelves and painting the walls, John had deliberately kept him out of the place during the past few weeks as the final touches all came together. When he stepped into the bookshop on Thursday for the opening, it would be a surprise for him too.

“I still don’t know why you had to keep me in the dark for it,” Paul chided him. “I saw the couches you were ordering online, y’know. I would have helped move them in.”

“It’s so it’s a surprise!” John insisted. “You know, like how it’s bad luck or something for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the big day--”

“Oh?” Paul arched a thin eyebrow, and John couldn’t help but flush a bit.

“OK, that’s just one--and kind of dumb--example. You know, I...I just want…” He trailed off for a moment, looking at the countryside speeding out the window nearby, as he forced his tongue to untangle and tell the truth. “I want you to be proud. Is all.”

Paul’s hand intertwined with his tightened a little, and he briefly stole a glance over at him. “Oh, John...I am. Believe me, I am. I know how much this means to you.”

John lifted their hands up and pressed a brief kiss to Paul’s. He knew that too, could tell that Paul was still happy to be with him...but every so often, that niggling doubt would worm into his head that it was only a matter of time before things went the same way as Stu. And this was more than that, deeper than that, if this wasn’t built to last than John wouldn’t be able to stand it.

The past (and not just with his relationship with Stu) had made him warier than he’d ever wanted to be. But without that same past, he might not be sitting here now, hand in hand with the best thing that had ever walked into his life. 

As he had taken his bookshop and made it grow, nurtured it until it flourished like a flower in one of George’s gardens, he had to keep doing the same with other parts of his life too. Which was why he had deliberately set aside a portion of the money he’d made selling the old shop. 

Just in case, he thought, he had to buy something that cost a little more. He was not done building his life yet.

[goddamnwebcomics]

Legacy of Dominic Deegan: Part 2

See my original first impression here.

Last time, our hero, Snout, rudely picked up some weed from a giant animal thingy. Turns out it’s one of the many ingredients he needs, as he also takes a giant leaf, steals web from a spider, and with that he gives himself a shirt. You would think that in Deegan world, people would actually herd sheep more to get wool, unless Mookie believes PETA propaganda. Of course he does.

Turns out Snout is looking for a new home, and he finds a cave, as well as a talking...piece of paper? Pagefinder, or essentially, medieval Siri. Cool. Wait, what happened to the orc frenspeak? I guess Mookie realized it was kind of stupid so he just returned to making orcs write like humans again. Pagefinder is a spell that finds lost pages, and even he gets edgy, but at least his edginess is played for laughs. Speaking of playing edginess for laughs, Snout has to go to the Blood Horror Canyon to get the first lost page. I suppose it’s a bit funny, but if Mookie unironically creates another Chosen Superform in this comic then it’s just gonna be dumber in hindsight. Another joke that i find kind of funny occurs with the signs. Turns out Snout is being followed by...evil demon cthulhu thing, but he accidentally stabs him in the eye with a falling spire.

An exciting battle occurs with the weirdo thingy, and Snout tries using Pagefinder as a shield, and as a result we get the first F bomb in Dominic Deegan, if Mookie didn’t include dicks earlier i’d congratulate him on graduating from middle school. Turns out Pagefinder’s ink just killed the beast. Huh, i’m amazed, you CAN kill something in this universe without turning into a superform! Anyways, Snout finds the first lost page but it has a hole in the middle of it, rendering it mostly incomprehensible. Wah wah. Eyeroll face occurs, which is...i suppose the traditional version of the punchline face? Snout asks Pagefinder for help but he can’t, and he messes up Snout’s face again in his self-pity. I mean, even if it’s a repeated punchline i still think it’s way better than butt-less chaps and Spark’s alliterations.

Snout goes back to the weird eye thing’s library. I suppose the frenspeak earlier was actually the way the owner of the library, Bort, types. We’re shown a twist that Pagefinders actually can’t communicate in other languages so WHO REALLY IS THIS PAGEFINDER?? Pagefinder says he explains everything once Snout has found the last two missing pages. I have a theory, Pagefinder is Trapped Deegan. Of course, it’s a Mookie’s signature SHOCK TWIST that you totally can’t expect. The biggest evidence against it however is that Pagefinder is actually a likable character. No wait, turns out Snout’s theory is that Ink Witch is communicating with him through pagefinder. He needs to find a gruesome, evil tree and we get another eyeroll face. Fuck it, i’m just gonna call it the Modern Punchline Face (MPF) as opposed to Classic Punchline Face (CPF) because i know that’s gonna be common now.

We get another recycled gag with the signs which reveals Skori Trees can shoot branches. Snout makes it into Skori territory and is bombarded with branch bullets yet avoids every single one??? What is he using? Magic? He manages to make it out of Skori’s grasp without a single scratch. Okay so far that’s the first really dumb thing in this comic, because Snout apparently is either using dodging magic or extremely athletic. He tells Pagefinder he hopes to get the berries Ink Witch may have used instead.

Pagefinder gets a piece of dat berry, and suddenly a giant arrow pops up and she drags Snout to the next page...which is Skori Tree. MPF Number 3 occurs. Snout tries to make friends with the tree, but Skori wants nothing to fucking do with the orc. I wonder if Siggy hung that orc family from a Skori tree, just to bury him some more? So Snout’s next plan is to fly to the tree by using the Pagefinder. He makes it but Skori begins to make his plan impossible. Skori gives him the finger but Snout gives him one back. Then...the tree just gives up? Snout gets the missing piece, and we find out the ol’ Dullminic went to Asinoteph, where dreams become visions, and apparently he tried to see the future, but instead he saw...oh boy, next page will unveil the twist. Did he see the past? the present? the winter of his discontent? the apocalypse? the Chosen? Whatever it is, it’s probably dumb.

Snout gets ready to sleep, and even Pagefinders need to sleep. We don’t get reprise of the orc dick this time. No wait, we do, as we see Snout in a dream, where an ink vortex...happens. What? No blood? No gore? No horror? Hmm, maybe Dominic saw THE INK? Snout makes his dream diary, and presents his questions about the last page, that basically ask readers to think about these questions too. I actually like this. It makes our hero look more huma...er, orc, and being used to Gene Catlow mystery exposition it also helps recapping the ongoing mysteries of the comic without pretentious third person pronouning and vague vagueness.

Snout goes to last missing page, which is held by an orc with a beard. Is that a male crone? Old Stoneraper? How come Snout does not have tusks? Honestly, i like him way more without the damn tusks. The old bastard smiles kindly when he sees Snout and gives him the page. Holy shit? An orc being nice to another orc? That’s like...a fucking fever dream. The orc then commits magic disappearance thing. Yup, i’m sure it was Old Stoneraper. Turns out, Deegan did actually see the end of all prophecy, and beginning of his legacy. Um, what? So does this mean that the visions are now gone forever? Thank fucking god, because it got so fucking confusing in the original comic. But wait, if he’s looking for his legacy, is he talking about Snout? Or is he like, looking for someone with good legacy in a talent show? I dunno, lay your theories on me Snout. But before that, the old orc comes. But the Pagefinder warns him that he is in a TERRIBLE DANGER. Oh boy, never mind orcs being nice. All orcs are still assholes to eachother, thanks Siggy.

Snout tells the old orc he was one of the few who didn’t hurt him, if he only kneeeew. Snout asks Old Orc what happened to him, and he falls to...visionscape, sigh. He runs towards a strange ink cube before returning to reality. Turns out Old Orc took all the pages. Oh hey, our protagonist does mistakes, and he actually suffers from them. That’s the first time EVER i’ve seen that in this blog, and then...Pagefinder dismantles. Not gonna lie, it is competing with Sleeve in terms of saddest inanimate object death in a webcomic. Snout wonders what is he gonna do, when he remembers his strange dream. Turns out Dominic Deegan recorded a song called “The Day i Dreamed Again”? No wait, a poem. Turns out Dominic learned to see visions again, and wrote a book about lucid dreams. Bort does not have it, so he has to go into another library. We reach the page i saw in my last Webcomic Check, where poor ol’ Snout is afraid of leaving his new home, and even makes a full list of pros and cons of leaving his home. Not gonna lie, Mookie does actually explore a lot of things he can do with a deaf mute protagonist, as opposed to having a deaf mute protagonist for the sake of having a deaf mute protagonist.

Snout begins his quest the next day, believing he might lose so much if he stays in his homeplace, and the mysteries on his mind keep him up at night. He sees...a lot of things, but thankfully does not bump into any werewolves, dragons or four armed naga things. He finally finds a place called...Mongreltown, but is immediately followed by something. That something is the spaceship that destroyed his home. Mongreltown can wait as he sees the spaceship has crashed. Out of it comes...the Ink Witch, who looks way more adult than any other character Mookie has drawn. Ink Witch is happy to see Snout but remembers he is deaf so she talks in form of ink, and that’s where we leave our story.

So far, i really really like this. The only problems i had were the increased usage of cheap punchline pages and MPF, as well as the rather cheap ways the spaceship arc and the battle with Skori Tree were resolved, but on the contrast there was a LOT of stuff i enjoyed, and i can’t believe i’m saying that about a Mookie comic. Snout is actually a very likable character, and his design has grown on me, his unique status as a deaf mute protagonist was explored, without turning him into a stupid exposition machine, as he only writes when it’s necessary. Pagefinder (RIP) was a very likable character and Mookie seems to be mocking himself with some of the jokes in the comic. The mystery of Dominic Deegan’s fate didn’t really get me invested yet as it’s still an actual mystery that’s important and not just a side thing that’s resolved through third person pronouns and “unseen” reveals. Also we’re shown so many new creatures and species on this comic, none of which are hideous furrybait. It really helps upgrading this setting to an actual fantastic setting and not just “modern setting with fantasy textures applied” that the original comic’s Dominion was. Also, the comedy was actually kind of funny even with the occasional repetition and the MPF.

It’s not the best comic i’ve read ever, but it is the best comic i’ve ever read on this blog. There is a little bit of dread in me though that this comic might go downhill sooner or later. This is still Mookie writing this.

[meltypes-blog]

peadpod mchanzo week day 3

[mr. krabs voice] day 3, give it up for day 3! Also, this is a college au because I’m weak for those and young mchanzo is cute

3. Secret Admirer | ao3 link |

Jesse normally wasn’t the type to get flustered. His mama had told him that since he was 4, his three defining characteristics were cute, charming, and shameless. Growing up in a loving and accepting family had given him the right ingredients to bake into that particular mix, but when his mama passed ten years after, and the collectors came after his Pa’s farm, those particular traits rotted and left a bad taste in his mouth. Cute and charming didn’t get him out of the orphanages quick enough, so he ran. At 17, before his new dads swooped in and grabbed his ass out of the fire, his gang buddies described him as quick, deadly, and reckless. It showed in his steady trigger finger, the unnerving accuracy of his aim, the lopsided smiles and toothy smirks. But all the swagger and confidence from his misguided teenage years were particularly missing from his mug shots; a single heist inevitably gone wrong, most of his ‘family’ dead yet again, and half a missing arm later were enough to sober him entirely.

His new dads….they tried not to define him. When they got to him, he was hollow. Quiet. Sad. As hardened war vets, they’d seen some shit, so they knew a little bit in dealing with what Jesse had gone through. They brought Jesse home with them after a grueling two years in court, though Jesse never did get a clear reason why. Gabe told him that he’d seen something in Jesse. Jack joked that he was blind, so he just went along with whatever Gabe saw. They helped heal him by letting him be, doing the opposite when his mistakes hit him hard and left him gasping at night, and encouraging him to believe in himself just as fervently as they did.

Now, at 24, GED under his belt and close to graduating with a bachelors in investigative journalism, Jesse had proudly improved upon his mama’s words. Cute turned into roguishly handsome, his shamelessness transformed into easy-going confidence, and his charming demeanor- well, that was a welcome fixed trait. But despite the fact that no one had ever called Jesse smart aloud, he wasn’t dumb. Any smart person could see that there was more to the man than a cowboy hat and smiles, and that you didn’t get a prosthetic arm and criminal record by riding a horse (unless, of course, you were a bandit from the 18th century). Even dumber people didn’t know what to make of Jesse, most of the time caught off guard when it turned out he wasn’t a complete idiot. In conclusion, no, Jesse didn’t think he was desirable in the long-term, romantic sense of things, despite his many trysts and conquests, so he put it out of his mind.

At least, that was the case, until the fourth flower delivery.

“Again, Reeha?” Jesse asked, face hot as she dropped a sunflower in his hands. “You’re not doing this as a joke right?”

His RA leant against the open doorway of his dorm with crossed arms and snorted. “I’m a college student, Jes. Flowers are expensive. If I wanted to prank you, I could just put a bucket on your door.”

“Zero points for creativity.” He responded, thumbing the back of the card attached to it. He flipped it over, getting significantly redder at the note.

Fareeha snickered. “What’s it say, loverboy?”

Jesse knew she wasn’t going to leave until he told her (she hadn’t for the last two deliveries) so he cleared his throat and read. “‘You are as brilliant as when the sun rises, you bring me warmth as its beams do. Your smile is just as bright. Thank you for existing.’”

“Aw, Jesse.” Fareeha gave him a genuine, wide smile. “Whoever that is has really lost it over you.”

His chest fluttered. “Nah, this is- it’s a joke. Someone here has just got a sick sense of humor.” He looked back to her. “Do you have any idea who it might be?”

“Jes, half the people on this floor are pretty much into you,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “It’s the cowboy hat, probably.”

Jesse chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Wait ‘til I bust out the chaps, that’ll get everyone hot and bothered.”

“It sounds genuine, though,” she said, frowning at his tone. “You’ve just gotta put your degree to use. Do some investigating.” She clapped his shoulder and stood up. “You’re good at that.”

The wheels in Jesse’s head started turning. “Do you know who puts ‘em on your desk?”

Fareeha shrugged. “Satya brings them in from the mailroom, and I’ve asked her who delivers them there, but she says she doesn’t know. Just that there’s a sticky note to have them brought to you.”

“Huh.”

After a bit more brainstorming, Fareeha waved her goodbye and left Jesse in his door, flower clutched in his good hand. He went inside, thumbing the soft petals gently, a plan developing in his head.

He was going to find whoever this was.

“Maybe they do not want to be found.”

Jesse snorted into his coffee. He and Hanzo were seated in the campus coffee shop, taking a break from an especially grueling math homework session. Jesse had first met him in his second semester Research Writing class, which, much to Jesse’s surprise and Hanzo’s embarrassment, the other man was failing. Their professor had insisted Hanzo visit Jesse for tutoring (which, up until his junior year, he did as a work-study student), and the two hit it off. The pair (sometimes with the addition of Hanzo’s younger brother) met up regularly for study sessions, finding that they worked well together despite their differing majors.

Jesse raised his brows. “Then why do they send them in the first place?”

“Perhaps they get off on buying flowers for cowboys,” Hanzo smirked.

“Gross Han,” Jesse laughed, wrinkling his nose. Hanzo smiled and Jesse felt his insides warm, a pleasant syrupy feeling in his gut.

This….thing he started feeling for Hanzo wasn’t a new development. He only needed to spend four months in Hanzo’s presence to become infatuated, though he ignored it for the most part, reasoning that shallow appreciation for an attractive man was nothing worth exploring. Then the man got a haircut, pierced himself up, changed his major to what he was actually passionate about, and Jesse’s heart was a goner. What he felt was honestly too childish to be called a crush and the other option scared the hell out of him, because even after knowing Hanzo for 2 years, he still had trouble figuring out if the man was seriously flirting or not.

“But really,” Jesse continued, “it seems a bit….I don’t know. Weird.”

Hanzo raised a brow. “You do not enjoy the attention?”

Maybe if it was from you, Jesse thought unhelpfully. “‘S not that, it’s just….I never thought I’d get romanced like this. Flowers.” He chuckled. “What’s next, chocolates? A full bouquet?”

Hanzo’s eyes got that strange glint in them Jesse had been noticing lately. “Is that something you would like?”

“Oh, hell no, that’s a bit much to be coming from a stranger,” Jesse said. He leant forward. “You got any idea who it could be?”

Hanzo’s face fell flat. “You have many admirers, Jesse. Many find you attractive, you know this.”

“You sayin’ I’m good looking?” He teased, smiling at Hanzo’s eye roll.

“I am saying,” Hanzo smirked, “Many people lack taste.”

Jesse barked a laugh. “Right where it hurts, Han. Your aim is unerring.”

“You just make it too easy,” he replied. “Speaking of,” he tapped his notebook, “we should finish these equations.”

Jesse groaned. “Easy for you, Mr. Math Major. Some of us are better with words than numbers.”

“Oh, I am well aware of that,” he chuckled. “But why you would choose a math course for your last elective if you hate it so much is beyond me.”

Jesse just smiled. “I like a challenge.”

The fifth flower arrived during Jesse’s investigation. He made his way down to the dorm mailroom, deciding to ask Satya herself if she knew anything essential.

She scoffed at Jesse’s question, putting her cell phone down. “Why would I keep the sticky notes? They are trash once their duty is fulfilled.”

Jesse sighed. There went his first lead.

“Okay,” he said. “But did you get a look at the handwriting? Was it neat? Messy?”

Satya considered the question. “Well….all of them were written in capital letters.”

“Hm.” Jessed hummed. “And….no one else gets flower deliveries?”

“Not that I have seen, no.” She smirked slightly, picking her phone back up. “It seems you have a secret admirer, McCree.”

He sighed again, pink in the face. “Seems that way.”

It didn’t help much, but he thanked her anyways, heading out into the hall. He closed the mailroom door behind him and exhaled, exasperated. He didn’t really think that asking about the sticky notes would help, but it was the first thing that came to his mind to check. He stepped forward- and almost tripped when he realized there was something on the ground in front of him. His heart pounded when he bent down to look closer.

“No way,” he breathed, picking up the single pink rose. He straightened quickly, looking to his left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of someone, anything, but the hall was empty save for himself and the dorm event bulletin board. He looked to the card and laughed softly.

“They did not have red ones, so I hope you are fine with pink. It reminds me of the times you are silly, blushing and happy. I wish you many more moments like that.”

Jesse would’ve written the secret gifts off as insincere if they’d called him sexy or complimented his ass, but the notes were always heartfelt and profound. The first, paired with a camellia, had regaled his beauty, declaring that “the depths of which are rivaled only by that of the oceans.” The second, attached to a sweet smelling gardenia, paid homage to his intelligence; “an incomparable mind” and “a smart mouth to match a smart man.” The third came with a red carnation, calling him kind-hearted and wonderful; “you inspire me to be my best.” The strangest part was that each delivery had happened in the span of a single month, each floral arrival erratic and unpredictable. The timing made little sense too: February was three months ago, and his birthday was in December. Jesse brainstormed the motivations himself but decided that they were 100% genuine, the other option being that it was an elaborate prank before grad. Most of his friends were too busy with finals or too short on cash. Jesse trudged back to his room, placing the flower in the same vase near the window as the previous ones and the note in the small ornate box on his desk that held the others, deciding to enact the next part of his investigation the following weekend.

Now, Jesse usually liked Genji, considered him a brother even- but right now, he felt like throwing him to the wolves. The green-haired bastard was cackling loud enough to draw the attention of almost everyone in the coffee shop to their small corner; he found Jesse’s floral predicament particularly funny. Jesse looked to Hanzo for help, but the man just gave him a toothy smile and shrugged.

“So, you have no idea who it could be?” Genji asked, after having calmed. “Not a single inkling?”

Jesse’s eyes flitted briefly to Hanzo (he immediately squashed that hope down, Hanzo didn’t seem like the flower giving type) before he turned to Genji. “I wouldn’t be askin’ for your help if I did, ninja.”

“Some investigator you are,” Genji snorted.

He pointed to him. “Hey now, I just haven’t finished looking around yet. I’ve got a plan.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Hanzo spoke, sounding amused.

“Well,” Jesse started confidently, settling back into his seat,” it’s gotta be someone on campus right? And the flowers gotta come from somewhere. So I sussed out the location of every flower shop in the area- which there are three of, by the way- and I plan on bringing the notes and asking around. They’re bound to know something.”

Genji hummed appreciatively and Hanzo balked.

“How do you know they didn’t order them in advance? Or that they would remember their patrons?” Genji gave his brother a weird look at the question while Jesse chuckled.

“No one has the time for advanced orders during finals. Plus, it seems like these gifts were a last minute kinda thing, because there’s no pattern to the delivery times. And if my hunch is right,” Jesse leaned forward conspiratorially,” it’s probably someone I know.”

Hanzo’s face seemed to go through a myriad of emotions before smoothing over into a blank expression. “You truly are intelligent, then.”

“I know,” Jesse grinned cheekily, feeling proud.

Genji let out a choked noise at something and stared incredulously at Hanzo. Then at Jesse. Then back to Hanzo.

“Jesse. You really can’t guess? Really?” Genji’s eyes were pleading.

Jesse furrowed his brow. “If you know something I don’t, the help is appreciated.”

Genji muttered something in Japanese and stood up suddenly, grabbing his bag. “No. I don’t know anything, apparently. If you will excuse me, I’m going to go somewhere else before I throw up.” He turned a devious smile to Hanzo, who sat uncharacteristically frozen. “I will talk to you later, brother.” Then he was gone.

“Well, that sounded foreboding,” Jesse commented to a strangely flushing Hanzo. “Did you catch what he said under his breath?”

“No,” Hanzo answered quickly. He stood up too. “I- I have to go. Satya needs my help with a project.”

“Oh.” Jesse sat back disappointed. “Okay. See ya later, then.”

Hanzo gave him a tense smile before he hurriedly departed. Finals week, Jesse decided, was a bitch.

The sixth flower was thankfully delivered in person.

He woke up that morning feeling motivated, ready to find the mystery person behind the roses. His trip to the first floral shop wasn’t what he expected, considering it closed down 5 years ago and sat on the side of the road as a sad, dilapidated building (thanks, Google)- but he wasn’t deterred. The second shop, however, didn’t yield satisfactory results either. He showed the owner the notes, and much to his embarrassment, she said that they didn’t even use the same cards or ribbon as the ones the stranger gave him.

“Whoever it was probably made them themselves,” she said, eyes twinkling. “That’s so sweet!” Jesse mechanically nodded his agreement, said his thanks, and left feeling flustered at the situation all over again. Handmade note cards. Maybe they really didn’t want to be known.

So found Jesse on his way to the last floral shop- Bastion’s Bouquets- and losing all semblance of hope. He pushed the door open, bell ringing overhead, and was instantly assaulted by the sweet aroma of flora.

Flowers ranging from roses to calla lilies to desert flowers crowded on shelves that stretched to the ceiling. Long vines and leaves from medium sized palms and ferns leaned over Jesse’s head as he traversed deeper into the store, reaching the counter. It was colorful, and wonderful, and Jesse began to wonder if he was in the wrong line of work at the sight of a bright pink bougainvillea trailing along the wall behind the cashier’s desk.

“Howdy,” he called to the empty space in front of him, resting his hands on the wood. “Anybody in?”

A clatter of noise and a curse responded. Then, in a strange accent:

“Be right out!”

Jesse took to looking around as he waited, exclaiming in pleased surprise as he found a small bird hiding among a gorgeous display of hyacinths. It chirped quietly as it settled in Jesse’s outreached hand and fluffed its wings. Jesse cooed and it tilted its head, chirping louder as he rubbed a finger down its back.

“Ganymede, stop begging for attention. The name is Torb, what can I do for you, son?”

Jesse turned to find a short- very, very short- man behind him. He had a mechanical arm, a fake eye, and was wearing a pink apron with the store name and a cartoon robot on the front. Jesse immediately liked him.

“Ah, well, ya see,” he muttered, struggling to get the notecards out of his back pocket with his prosthetic, not wanting to jostle the bird. “I got- aha! I got these cards along with a bunch of different flowers over the past month and was wondering if they were ordered from you, or if you remembered who ordered them.”

Torb took the cards from Jesse’s hand, sifting through them. His ears grew hot as the short man chuckled and raised a brow at him.

“Sounds like someone really likes you, eh?”

Jesse cleared his throat, cheeks flaming. “I mean, it could be a prank. Haven’t gotten rid of that possibility.”

Torb laughed harder and handed the cards back to Jesse. “I, for one, think you should throw that thought out the window. What were the flowers?”

Jesse told him and Torb rubbed his chin.

“Well,” he started. “We do carry all of those.”

Jesse felt a surge of hope.

“But carnations, camellias and roses are popular ones, and we haven't sold any sunflowers recently. I would remember that.” He gave Jesse a sympathetic look. “‘M sorry lass, I can’t help you there.”

Jesse’s stomach plummeted and he sighed. Ganymede chirped softly and flew away to the back room, probably to eat or sleep. He looked at Torb imploringly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are there any other flower shops around here that have the same selection you do?”

Torb shook his head. “Afraid not. Otherwise, we would be out of business.”

Jesse nodded and said his thanks, ready to give up when Ganymede came flying back out, a small slip in her talons. She landed on Torb’s shoulder and dropped the paper into his open hand.

“Ah! That’s right, it almost slipped my mind!” He said, reading through it. He looked back up to Jesse with a toothy grin, waving around what looked like a receipt. “Seems I was wrong. There is one other place that carries the same selection we do, though it only orders a small amount from our stock.”

The supermarket. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

Jesse had walked by the flower freezer in there every time he shopped, but he never paid it enough attention for its presence to register in his head. He ran hurriedly from Torb’s shop to the market a few blocks over, hope swelling. It was getting late, the sun almost finished setting, and he knew the store was going to be closed in a couple of hours. He would get in there, and he would- well, he would look and- huh.

Jesse slowed to a jog, coming to a stop in front of the store. He frowned, realizing he had no plan. What would he do? Rather, what could he do? Too many people went in and out, and it’s not like a chain market would take note of each customer that bought sunflowers. He swallowed, feeling his hope shatter yet again.

He could….stake the place, he guessed. But his admirer obviously knew what he looked like, and loitering was still considered a crime. He was about to walk inside, maybe buy some booze and drown in it, when a voice ripped him from his thoughts.

“Jesse?”

He turned to his right to find Hanzo, looking as attractive as ever in his dark jacket and jeans, with a comically stricken expression on his face.

Jesse wondered what was wrong, until his eyes zeroed in on the package in his hands, and he sucked in a breath.

A bouquet of roses.

Hanzo held the flowers in a tight grip, an entire bouquet of expensive red roses, and Jesse, tired and emotionally charged at the sight, blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“You get off on buying flowers for cowboys?”

Hanzo turned red and made an audible noise in the back of his throat, taking a step backward, away from him.

He’s gonna run, Jesse suddenly realized, and he raised his hands in apology, a hysterical laugh bubbling in his throat at the relief he felt that it was him, at what this situation had come to.

“Hanzo,” he laughed, slightly breathless, and the man took another step backward. Jesse took a large step towards him and fought down another laugh. “Hanzo, wait.”

“I did not think you would find my affections funny,” he said, looking and sounding hurt.

Jesse sobered instantly, realizing what was at stake, and took those last few steps to reach him. “Hanzo, wait no, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just- this whole time?” He reached for Hanzo’s free hand. “You could’ve just talked to me, hon.”

“I am not good with words,” he responded, looking anywhere but at Jesse. “I know it is childish, but Genji told me that you had never had a serious relationship before, and with you leaving in two months for that job in Gibraltar, I just….”

He sighed, searching Jesse’s eyes. “I wanted to make sure you at least knew that someone cared for you, in that way….still cares.”

Jesse’s heart pounded and he gripped Hanzo’s hand tighter, not knowing what to say. He had Hanzo right where he had wanted him since he first saw him, and he was speechless.

“Okay, here’s the thing.” Jesse decided to lay it all out. “I’ve been in love with you for almost a year now, and if you’re willing, I’d like to try. Gibraltar or not, I’ve been absolutely hopeless for you. If you’ll have me.”

Hanzo lowered his burning face and heaved a deep, shaky breath. Then, he looked up and pressed the bouquet to Jesse’s chest, a small smile making its way onto his face. Jesse held the flowers there with his prosthetic, face burning.

“You said that you wouldn’t take a bouquet from a stranger and I was actually going to give these to you in person, when I found the right thing to say.” He pressed himself closer to Jesse. “I do not have a card this time, so I apologize.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jesse breathed, moving his hand to the small of Hanzo’s back, the roses crinkling between them. “What were you going to say?”

“I love you, too.” Hanzo leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Jesse’s lips, and Jesse brought him even closer, closing his eyes, Hanzo and the scent of roses overtaking him.

After he and Hanzo made their way back to the dorms, the roses (a bit crumpled, but still whole) found their way into the vase near the window, the other flowers pressed safely into a textbook. And when Jesse finally left to Gibraltar, Hanzo sent him off with his seventh- a snapdragon that Jesse snuck in his carry-on. The message on the notecard was pretty much the same as the last one, but it didn’t make him feel any less flustered and happy.

I love you. Come back soon.

[rogerlad]

The City of Rose & Sun: Part Three

A/N: With the weekend being over, part four may be posted in a couple of days. Please send me requests! I love writing small blurbs and imagines, and I’m open to all submissions! 

The City of Rose & Sun: Part Three

He pulled away from you as the elevator doors re-opened, revealing the floor on which he was staying. You didn’t realize how long you had been staring at him, until he tugged your wrist gently, ushering you out of the lift.

“I’m sorry, I just had to.” He stated, rubbing his neck in slight embarrassment. You still hadn’t said a word, and you could see his face growing with concern and regret. “I fucked up, didn’t I? I knew this was stupid, I just- It’s those damn green eyes of yours.” He stammered. You let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding.

“Please, don’t do this.” You said timidly. His eyes met yours, and goose pimples flooded your body. You were angry at yourself for the words that had escaped your lips, but you knew how Brian would feel about this. You also knew, you couldn’t be one of Roger’s play things; that would hurt more than anything. You also knew, those lips would find their way to other fans tonight.

“Rosie-” He began, but you raised a hand in protest.

“You’re my friend, Rog. I’m sure you can be patient enough to find some other lass to snog with tonight.” You began to walk away but he stopped you, physically blocking the lift.

“What if...What if I don’t want to be friends.” He boldly said. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages, and I see the way you blush when I look at you, I see the way you have to compose yourself.” You felt as though he were taunting you.

“Pardon me?” Bewilderment spread across your face like butter. “I don’t know who you think you are Mr. Taylor, but I have far better things to do in my day then to swoon after the likes of you.” Your voice was raising, and you could see the smirk on his face. Who does he think he is? Your blood was boiling, but you couldn’t help but relive the kiss in your head, the taste of his lips still lingering on yours.

“Then why did you offer to help me?” He raised a brow at you, snapping you back to reality. He leaned against the wall next to the elevator. You groaned. It was too early to bicker.

“Because, you’re my friend Roger. Honestly, for Pete’s sake.” You moved next to him, leaning against the wall he claimed. You tilted your head to the left so you could see him.

“Again, what if I don’t want to be friends?” He said, slowly finding your hand, rubbing circles on your palm. You could feel yourself melting.

“Don’t I get a say?” You said, voice no longer hard, but a soft whimper.

“Of course.” He replied, still gently playing with your soft hands. You could feel every callas his fingers held. Rough and beaten from his outrageous drumming. You pondered variations of what he was suggesting. Was it purely sex? Could Roger possibly want more? What about the band?

“I’m not just going to let you sleep with me. You know I only sleep with men I’m going steady with.” Fumbling over your words, he snorted at you, which naturally derived an eye roll. 

“Steady? Rosie, how old are you?” He chuckled, fully intertwining your hands now. Your fingers ran against his, and it felt so natural to you.

“Rog, you know what I mean, and for the love of God, please stop calling me that.” You said in one breath.

“I’m not trying to sleep with you and leave.” He said, and you could hear the seriousness in his tone. It wasn’t what you had expected to hear from him at all.

“So you want to do this proper?” You asked, releasing his hand, and stepping in front of him now.

“Yes.” He winked, you shook your head.

“Then I want to be taken on a proper date. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it has to be private.” You pressed the elevator door, and stepped inside when it opened.

“Oh,” you added. “Don’t you dare say anything to the guys.”

“Well don’t you look lovely.” Brian said as you walked out of your hotel room’s bathe. You hand’t even heard him come in. Your hair was in loose curls, a change from the normal, but you felt the occasion was fitting. Your makeup was simple as always, mascara, blush and glossed lips. You wanted to impress Roger, a feeling you never felt before, but you didn’t want to over do it. You had picked a pair of black high waisted jeans, that your father would have disapproved of, and topped it off with a baby blue blouse.

“Well there he his.” You smiled like a child, taking a seat next to him on his bed, placing your head on his shoulder. His wild hair tickling your face. You hadn’t seen Brian in two days, apart from when he was sleeping across from you, as you shared a room. You hadn’t really seem any of the guys, except for when Roger stopped you at breakfast that morning to state that tonight would be your date night and to meet at his room. 

“What’s the get up for? We don’t play tonight.” Brian asked, reaching for a pad of paper and pen on the night table. Writing lyrics down again.

“I uh... I met someone, and he’s asked me out this evening.” You said, your voice dancing over the words. Brian looked more than surprised, which would normally offend you. However, in the last year or so you had professed that you would never give another man a fighting chance, and you would end up marrying Bri.

“Really? Well good, you need to get out of this hotel Rosanna, honestly.” He said. “You do look very pretty though. Will I be meeting the chap?”

“No!” You practically yelled at him. He was taken aback. “Just, not yet. I don’t want to scare him off. He doesn’t know I’m here with Queen.” You picked at your fingers. Lie number three. Brian nodded in understanding and went back to scribbling down lyrics. You eventually left him there, stating you didn’t want to run late, as you made your way up a floor, to Roger’s room.

You took in a deep breath as you tapped lightly on his door. You heard rustling from the other side, until the door flew open. You took in his blue eyes, savouring every speck of color they held. His hair, never changed. It always looked out of place, in the best way possible. He was dressed in a green button up shirt and dark jeans. He was dressed normal. You felt your cheeks fill with heat as you realized you had dressed way over the top in comparison to him. You said an internal prayer, thankful you hadn’t opted for the dress. You met his eyes, and it was a miracle his jaw was not on the floor.

“Rosie. You- wow.” He said. It wasn’t an exclamation; it wasn’t a whisper. A statement really. You felt yourself adjusting your shirt out of nervousness. “You look fantastic, honest.” He gently took your wrist and led you into his room.

“So, where are we going?” You asked as he checked the hallway quickly, before closing the door. He chuckled softly and pointed to his bed. You turned around and saw he had ordered room service. Lot’s of it.

“Listen, I know it’s not a five star restaurant, but I ordered all your favorites! I even went out to the shop and got your favorite soda.” He beamed, quickly lifting the lids off each tray. You felt your heart ache. You had never seen him so giddy. That smile, it was really getting to you.

“Oh, Rog! It’s perfect. I-I love it.” Relief washed over his face, and he anxiously motioned for you to join him on the bed. You kicked your shoes off, and headed towards him. You tucked your legs beneath you and without a skip, he began filling his plate with food.

“Rog, how much did this cost you?” You asked mid bite. There was a ton of food here, and you knew hotel services were not cheap. He waved you off, but your intent stare cause him to sigh.

“Look, I won’t give you a number, but it was worth it.” He smiled devilishly at you. You chose not to press the topic further, but to rather, enjoy the kind gesture. The two of you talked for a while, still picking at the food that remained. You learned a lot about Roger’s childhood, and you were surprised at some of his stories. It felt very natural, sitting like this. You had been friends for a few years, so there was never a feeling of awkwardness, just a new feeling of, lust almost. As the two of you were enjoying each other, a knock interrupted your date. You looked at each other with doe eyes, and he motioned for you to head to the bathroom. Once you had shut the door behind you, you heard him greet who ever was calling.

“Yeah?” He said opening the door slight. “Sure Bri, make yourself at home.” Roger’s voice was full of annoyance as you heard your friend enter.

“Hey I wrote some new lyrics and thought you might want to give ‘em a go.” Brian stated, ignoring Roger’s tone. “Woah Rog, hungry?” He laughed, obviously spotting the food. “Oh, you don’t have a girl here do you?” You felt your heart stop.

“Uh yeah mate, she’s just in the bathroom.” Roger replied, clearly trying to coax Brian out.

“I won’t stay, but here, keep the notes. I want to try it out tomorrow so don’t show up too tried.” He joked. “Hey...” He paused. You tried to listen, but it was silent. “Those look like Rose’s shoes...hmm” You could practically hear your heart pounding in your chest. Your fucking shoes. “weird coincidence. Anyways mate, see ya in the morning.” You heard the door click shut, and a few seconds later, Roger gently tapped on the bathroom door.’

“That was close.” You stated as you walked past him, heading for the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” Roger looked so sad, almost like a lost puppy.

“It’s late Rog. If I don’t get back to mine and Bri’s room soon, he’ll get even more suspicious.” You offered a half smile. “Tonight really was perfect though.” You added quickly, as you opened the door, checking the coast. You turned on your heel, stood on your tip toes and offered him a kiss on the cheek. Before you could pull away, he turned his face and pulled you in tightly for a proper kiss goodnight. You felt yourself humming against his lips, as they moved perfectly in sync with your own.

“Goodnight Rosie.” Roger said under his breath. You scoffed.

“G’night, Taylor.” You pulled the door shut behind you, and closed your eyes. Butterflies swooping in your stomach. When you re-opened your eyes, your heart dropped. You felt the color drain from your body.

“Well that was uh... You know what, I didn’t see a thing.” John said, turning on his heel. 

[acidblackpirate]

A Bonding Chat (Part 1)

„Take that!“, yasu shouted and slammed his thumb down on the console again and again.

Ka-yu’s eyes were fixed on the screen, desperately trying to survive, so yasu wouldn’t win the game.

“You really think you can beat me that easily?”, ka-yu exclaimed loudly.

Their arguments could get heated over games like this.

“Fuck!”, yasu swore and then his half of the screen froze, while ka-yu’s spelled out the glorious three letters W – I – N.

“Ha, told you”, he said with a grin and leaned back on the couch. “Man, this is the most fun I had in a long time.”

Yasu raised his eyebrows at him doubtfully. He had the long blonde hair done up in a ponytail and his full lips seemed a little chapped. Ka-yu thought he looked gorgeous like that.

“I didn’t have sex in a long time, you see”, he added as an explanation.

Throwing back his head, yasu laughed. His Adam’s apple bounced slightly as he did. It was kind of sexy.

Ka-yu shook his head lightly.

He really needed to get laid, if he started to look at his best friend like that. It was yasu, after all. Of course, he was attractive and all, but in the end, he was just the dork he had grown up with.

For a while he had considered asking him out, he had to admit that. Right after finishing school and moving out, he had thought that maybe they could make it work if only he took the first step. But then they had gotten serious with music and all of a sudden, they were work colleagues and he had just dropped the idea. There was no point in making it complicated.

“I know!”, yasu sighed. “When has it gotten so damn hard to get laid?”

“I mean, we’re rockstars, right?”, ka-yu joked. “Shouldn’t it be easier?”

“I think that’s exactly the problem”, yasu said. “It might cause a scandal so easily. And you can’t pick up someone anonymously. Actually, I thought about trying on the internet. With a fake account, you know?”

Ka-yu furrowed his brow.

“That’s stupid and desperate”, he pointed out.

Yasu shrugged.

He had never been scared of that. Some of his outfits managed to definitely be both.

“But think of the advantages! I’m a pretty kinky guy. On the internet you can just state your preferences anonymously and find someone who is cool with them. In real life you can’t just walk up to someone with a rope and ask: Hey, how you feel about this?”

He made a thoughtful pause.

“At least that never worked out for me. A girl slapped me once”, he added.

Ka-yu rolled his eyes but had to laugh at the same time. Sometimes it was hard to tell how serious yasu was about what he said.

He had to admit that he had a point, though. Ka-yu had a preference himself that was hard to fulfil lately. There had been girls, a lot of girls. But at the moment he longed for someone who was different. Someone with a nicely defined chest and strong hands with veins showing on them; someone like yasu. But picking up guys was significantly more difficult than it was with girls – even more so if you were kind of famous and wanted to keep a low profile.

“It’s still stupid”, he insisted and saw a bad idea forming behind yasu’s eyes.

They always started to glisten with that certain glow when he did.

“Hey, I have an idea. We both place ads on some sex site and see how it goes. Doing it alone is sad, but if we do it together, we can always have a laugh at it if it turns out to be a disaster. And in the best case, we even find someone to get laid with.”

Ka-yu groaned.

“No, yasu, just no.”

He wondered if he could find a hot guy like that. Someone who made him stop noticing the way his best friend pursed his lips or that his arms looked like he had been working out lately.

Yasu picked up the gaming console again.

“Tell you what. If you win this round, I’ll forget about it. But if I win … oh boy.”

Oh boy, indeed.

***

Ka-yu had put it off as long as he could.

Originally, he had promised to do it in the evening, but then he had went to sleep early instead.

Yasu hadn’t called to check on him yet, but it was only a matter of time. Sure, he could have lied to him, but that was not how their friendship worked. Whoever lost the game had to keep their promises.

He stared at the computer screen. Ka-yu had no idea where to look for a gay sex partner exactly, but he doubted that it would be difficult.

It wasn’t.

The first search request resulted in about thirty different platforms for gay single men in Tokyo. If there were so many, why hadn’t ka-yu found one of them yet?

He considered himself bisexual since a camping trip in middle school, where he had finally realized that it wasn’t just confusion of puberty, but that the sex of his partner really didn’t make much a difference to him. Nonetheless, he had been with girls mostly so far, at least when it came to serious relationships. He had never dated a man for a longer time period and there never had been one in his life with whom he would have considered it. Well, maybe one.

Ka-yu clicked on the first website, which did not contain the word “dick” in its description. It looked pretty alright to him. Not better or worse than anything else, he figured. After all, he wasn’t really getting his hopes up with this anyway. He was just registering because he had lost to yasu.

He went to the “create profile” link and thought for a moment.

Obviously, he couldn’t get a profile as himself. He would have to create a fake personality. Why not have some fun?

BadBoy, he typed down for the user name and then hesitated for a moment. Maybe he should add his year of birth. 75? Or he could make himself a little older, just for the fun of it. Only a few years and he could be in his thirties. The thirties were sexy. Maybe add five, six years?

BadBoy69, he put down. Yes, looked good to him.

The website asked him if he wanted to put some sort of self-introduction or picture of himself on his personal blog. He declined both. Probably no one would message him that way and he could just tell yasu that his stupid idea hadn’t worked out.

He went online.

Within the first minute he got three messages, one of them had the picture of a dick attached. He deleted the one with the dick, then the second one that was written in bad Japanese, but nonetheless very vivid. The third one he granted with a short Hi, nice to meet you, but stopped answering as the next message asked for his weight. It was just rude.

He got up, went to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea.

When he came back there were three more dicks, five friend-requests from people he had never talked to, another message that went straight to delete and two more to which he replied shortly.

He got an answer to his first reply immediately; wanting to know if he was a bad boy that loved sucking dick. Ka-yu deleted that one as well.

Sipping his tea, he wondered why there seemed to be nothing but perverts on this site. All of them had user names like DickLover24 or HotDaddyWantsToFuck. He didn’t even feel like checking the incoming messages anymore. Did none of them have anything better to do on a Sunday morning?

He opened another message. I want you to fuck me all night long, it said. Delete.

The next one on the list did not look more promising. The user name was SexyHole. Good lord. He almost hit delete without reading, but then he opened it anyway.

Let me guess … 69 is your lucky number?

Ka-yu stared at the message, then blinked very slowly. 69. Damn, he was an idiot.

My birthyear, actually, he typed back. I only realized that now. That explains the messages I’ve been receiving. Do you know where I change that?

The reply came almost immediately.

Why would you want to change that? It’s a lovely name.

It’s attracting perverts, ka-yu typed.

So, you don’t enjoy talking to me?, the stranger asked.

I’m talking about the other perverts, ka-yu clarified.

Another user name won’t stop the creeps coming, I get those messages, too.

Ka-yu checked the name of his chat partner again.

SexyHole? he asked.

What? Don’t tell me it sounds cheap … I was aiming for classy!

Ka-yu chuckled and his stomach did a weird little twist, although it was still too early for that. Dorks had always been his weakness.

Now, tell me, he wrote, what is a nice guy like you doing on a website like this?

He had to wait a little longer for the answer this time.

In the meantime, he checked two other messages, that he deleted instantly.

Finally, a new message popped up and he opened it a little too eagerly. Man, he really needed to calm down. He hardly knew this dude.

I’m trying to pick up a sexy bad boy ;D, it said.

But as he scrolled down there was another, longer answer.

Honestly, regular dating hasn’t worked out too well for me lately. I’m working in the entertainment sector (I’m a tv show actor, probably you’ve never seen me, but still) and it’s hard to meet someone. I would like to find someone for sex or preferably a relationship, but I can’t do that without building a trusting relationship first, so I know nothing of it will get leaked. That means no meetings, pictures or phone calls until I feel comfortable with someone. I hope that’s not a problem?

Ka-yu’s heartbeat suddenly picked up pace. There was someone who was in a similar situation as him. It also meant this guy wasn’t a creep, although his user name said something different.

No problem at all, ka-yu wrote back. I’m working as a producer for a more or less popular girl group. Usually, I’m not out in public myself, but I would like not to give out too many personal information until I’m sure, either.

He stared at the message for a moment, before sending it. That sounded like a stupid job, he had to admit. But the music industry was all he was familiar with and he did not want to put the focus on rock too much, just in case.

Good! You’re pretty young for a producer, aren’t you?

Ka-yu hesitated.

I guess I was lucky. Mind if I ask for your age since you already know mine? I could be hitting on a high-school kid for all I know.

Oh, so you are hitting on me? ;D

Ka-yu could almost hear the teasing tone behind the message, but he read on.

But don’t worry, I’m ‘75 birthyear.

With his fingers ka-yu drummed a light rhythm on the table plate. That guy was exactly his age. And he liked his way of talking.

You are just the perfect age for me then, he sent, biting his lower lip.

Was he going to fast? He did not want to sound like one of those creepy perverts out there, but it was also obvious what both of them were looking for. He ought to do a little flirting to signal interest, he guessed. Ka-yu had really no idea how this was supposed to work and it made him feel nervous and insecure.

Maybe I should watch out, though. Doesn’t a bad boy like you mean trouble?

Ka-yu grinned, although he tried not to. The game was definitely on now.

Just when he started typing, his mobile rang.

He picked up, knowing it was the controlling call he had expected.

“So, did you do it?”, yasu asked without introduction.

Ka-yu rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yasu, I got myself a stupid account. Happy?”

Yasu gave a thoughtful hum at the other end of the line.

“Found someone to chat with yet?”, he wanted to know.

Ka-yu stared at the message on his screen, still waiting for him to reply.

“No”, he lied.

It was easier to shut yasu up than to explain that he wasn’t sure yet, or why the hell he had decided to register on a gay site anyway.

“You know you have to write to people and not just wait around, right?”, yasu went on. “The girls might be shy.”

Ka-yu gave a little huff. It did not feel like the right timing to own up that he wasn’t looking for a girl at the moment. The right timing would have been 10 years ago, he guessed.

“How about you?”, he turned the conversation around.

Yasu gave a sharp, barking laugh.

“Only four people blocked me so far, so it’s going good, I guess.”

“The idea was stupid to begin with”, he reminded his friend.

“Come on, be optimistic. And call me when someone interesting shows up”, yasu ordered and then hung up without another word.

Ka-yu stared at his phone. Yasu was an idiot and he could be so rude sometimes. Nonetheless, the thought bothered him that he might be chatting with other people right now.

With a sigh he turned towards the computer again. There was only one way to get yasu out of his head once and for all.

I do mean trouble. I promise.

He wondered if he should have gotten more detailed already, but he wanted to take it slow.

I have one question – Do you have tattoos?

Ka-yu looked down on his own arms.

Yes, several, he replied.

Hot damn. And do you wear leather sometimes?

This time, ka-yu grinned.

All the time.

It wasn’t even a lie.

You sound exactly like my type, the stranger wrote.

Ka-yu took in a deep breath.

If we ever go on a date, I’d wear my blackest leather jacket for you and take you on a ride on my bike, he said.

There was a moment of silence and he wondered if he had mentioned the possibility of a date too soon. They had agreed it would take time, after all.

And what would you do with me afterwards?

The question was pretty clear, but it made him swallow hard nonetheless.

I’d take you to a hotel room, he wrote.

Would you fuck me?

The four words stared at him black on white, flickering a little with the lights of the screen. He hadn’t dared to say it first, but there it was, direct and unashamed. Ka-yu wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

On the one hand, it was exciting. But it was also happening so fast. He had never told anyone about the things he wanted to do with another man. Now the possibility was there, anonymously and without consequences.

I’d rip off your clothes and throw you on the bed. I’d fuck you with your ass up and your face down, so you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.

He hesitated.

It was just a stranger.

It didn’t matter.

He hit send.

Fuck, came the answer right away. You know exactly what I want to hear.

Ka-yu smirked. It was exciting to share his fantasies with someone he didn’t know at all. He hadn’t expected to be the kind of guy who would write so openly, but he understood the thrill of it now.

I wouldn’t waste my time with foreplay. I’d just take you until you go hoarse from crying out with pleasure.

He could almost see in it front of his eyes. Walking into a hotel room with a handsome stranger, kissing him, his grip on him firm and demanding. Shoving him onto a bed and then fucking him. Dirty and rough, without holding back. By now, he had a solid hard-on, cursing himself for being so easily aroused by someone he couldn’t even see, whom he knew nothing about.

Please, show me who’s the boss. You could do to me whatever you want. I’d let you go in deep and clench you tightly.

Ka-yu reread the message twice before he started to unbutton his pants. He shouldn’t do it, but he was very aroused already. He did not know when their conversation had taken this turn since they had started chatting only a few minutes ago.

But maybe yasu was right with what he always said. Maybe ka-yu was a little too uptight and a little too worried about just everything.

He closed his hand around his hard dick, the hot flesh pulsing between his fingers. Just when he started stroking himself, another messaged came in; like an afterthought.

God, I wish you would take me right now. I want to feel your dick inside as you fuck me.

He swore softly but went back to typing.

I want to fuck you right now, too, he admitted. Just touch yourself instead. I want you to do it right now.

He went back to stroking himself as the next message came in and he read it, while the heat down his stomach started to build up.

I am touching myself. I’m using my fingers on myself and my ass feels so hot and tight, but I want more. I need something bigger. I would really prefer your dick.

Ka-yu imagined what the inside of this man would feel like, hot around him. He wondered if he was really touching himself right now, in a different part of Tokyo.

The thought made him cum between into his own hand and he gasped loudly. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten so excited by touching himself.

Still evening out his breath he grabbed for a tissue and started to clean himself. He felt dirty, not because he had masturbated, but because of the messages he had sent out to a complete stranger. No one else knew about those things he wanted and he had just told them openly to someone he had exchanged only a few words with.

Blankly, he stared at the screen. For a moment nothing there changed and he wondered what to write next. Finally, another messaged showed up.

I came, it read.

Ka-yu inhaled deeply.

He still didn’t know what to reply. After another few breaths a new message popped up.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean this kind of thing to happen so fast. Hopefully, you don’t think of me as a disgusting pervert now.

The words sounded honestly worried, so ka-yu typed back.

It’s okay. I did it, too. I usually don’t do this, though.

I usually TRY this a lot, but you are the first one who said all the right things. Please, don’t stop talking to me now.

Ka-yu ran his hand across the face, trying to clear out his thoughts.  The guy seemed to have a good sense of humour and he hadn’t been taken aback by ka-yu’s words. He wanted to go on talking to him, but he also felt weird about it. Somehow, he didn’t want yasu to be right.

I won’t stop talking to you, he promised. You seem fun.

If by fun you mean kinky, I’m probably the funniest guy you’ve ever met.

Ka-yu laughed. It was always dangerous when they made him laugh. Ka-yu fell for it too easily.

Tell me some more about yourself, please, he asked. I want to get to know you.

While waiting for a reply he deleted some creepy messages. Even the normal ones didn’t make him feel like replying. He had made his decision early on.

Well, I already told you, I’m an actor. I’m mostly staring in tv shows and commercials. A lot of commercials. Sometimes it feels like I’m earning my living just by making a fool of myself. Also, I’m bisexual and currently kind of hungry…

Surprised ka-yu noticed that he was also kind of hungry. Their little chat had lasted longer then he realized and it was definitely lunch time already.

We have a lot in common, he pointed out. I’m also bi and hungry.

Maybe we should eat?

We should, he agreed.

He liked the way their conversation had taken a very casual turn. It seemed easy to chat with this guy.

Ka-yu went into the kitchen and prepared lunch for himself. He wasn’t a very good cook, but he made sure he ate healthy, more or less.

When he returned with his plate, he already had a message waiting for him, that read Enjoy your meal.

Ka-yu smiled absent-mindedly. So nice, he thought.

Do you feel better now?, he asked, after having finished his own meal.

Yeah. Nothing makes me feel as good as food, the reply said.

He had to smirk himself as he typed the answer.

You haven’t felt my dick yet.

The answer took a moment. He wondered if the other one was laughing.

You’re smooth, Mr. BadBoy. Anything else I need to know?

Nah. Ka-yu hesitated. When it wasn’t about his job as a musician, he didn’t feel like there was anything interesting about him to say. I’m just a pretty normal dude.

Maybe we shouldn’t talk about personal stuff just now. Tell me about the things you like. Favourite movie, favourite band, most hated celebrity (man, I hope that’s not me :P)

Ka-yu smiled as he read the message. After all, those were some things he didn’t have to lie about.

***

Recordings were exhausting and ka-yu was thankful when he finally got a break. It was just the demo tapes so far, but he hadn’t slept much during the last night.

It had turned out that he and his ominous new friend had a lot of things in common when it came to their personal taste and he had stayed up long discussing an English book that had been published only last month. He had enjoyed it a lot and sometimes missed a friend to talk to about such things. With yasu it was always just jokes and games. He made a big point out of not reading.

Afterwards he hadn’t been able to fall asleep immediately. He kept thinking about the guy, of whom he didn’t even know his real name, or what he looked like. He had always been affected a little too easily, but this time it was pretty bad. He had never developed a crush so fast, and usually his crushes developed with the speed of lighting already.

��Joa, ka-yu, how’s it going?”, yasu shouted way too cheerfully and slammed down on the chair next to him.

Ka-yu put his head in his hands with a groan.

“Please, yasu, give me a break.”

“No way.”

Yasu boxed him lightly against the shoulder to make him look up.

“You need to tell me how our little project is going.”

“It’s your project”, ka-yu sighed.

“Did you even try?”

Yasu looked at him sternly.

“If you want to get laid, you need to try. Did you chat with some girls?”

Ka-yu winced. He did not know why he kept lying, except that he felt embarrassed for having missed the right timing. Yasu had only ever seen him date girls and he had let it slide for too long to tell him about his bisexuality. It would only feel awkward now.

“I did chat with a few”, he lied.

“Did it get, ah, aaah, aah! Sexual?”, yasu moaned.

Ka-yu rolled his eyes and tried not to pay attention to how sexy yasu sounded even if he only faked his moans.

“Of course not, idiot”, he huffed. “Who would get sexual so soon?”

He thought of some of the messages he had typed down yesterday and hoped he wouldn’t blush.

“I get sexual all the time!”, yasu exclaimed and laughed.

Sometimes, ka-yu just didn’t know what to do with his best friend. He was shameless.

“You are such a creep”, he scolded him. “No wonder people block you. I would probably block you, too.”

Yasu’s laughter went quieter now, but his grin was very wide. Ka-yu loved that laugh of his. It made him look beautiful. Although, of course, he didn’t care about that.

“Not everyone can be as boring as you, Mr. Missionary”, yasu teased him. “You look so tough, but you’re not adventurous at all. You really need to loosen up a bit. The internet is perfect. No one knows it’s you. Treat yourself to a little fun.”

Ka-yu shook his head at him.

“I’m not boring”, he insisted. “You’re just … Just what is wrong with you, yasu?”

He wanted to sound angry, but he couldn’t help grinning at the end of the sentence.

The whole thing was so typical.

“Baby, please”, yasu said and got up from his chair.

Before walking away, he leaned down and placed a short kiss on ka-yu’s cheek.

Ka-yu hated it when he got intimate so suddenly as part of a joke. It caused a shiver to run down his spine and his whole body seemed very present, especially where yasu’s lips had touched him.

Close to his ear he whispered with disguised voice that turned very low:

“You know you love me.”

Ka-yu wasn’t so sure about that sometimes.

***

When ka-yu came home, he went straight to his computer and switched it on. He had looked forward to this pretty much all day, although he knew it was stupid. He shouldn’t be so excited to get back to talking to a stranger.

When he found no message waiting for him, he felt weirdly disappointed.

Had he misjudged their conversation yesterday? In his opinion they had really hit it off, but maybe he hadn’t left the same impression on the other. Or maybe he was just busy today or too shy to message him. Ka-yu reconsidered. No, he probably wasn’t too shy. If he should be the one to message him? Would that seem too eager? Or was he waiting for ka-yu to do it?

He didn’t know, so he decided to take a relaxing bath first.

That was even more stupid than just rushing home to get to the computer. Now he would have to wait even longer. To prove to himself that it was just a minor crush and nothing serious, he stayed in the bath longer than necessary.

When he came back, the screen signalled for him that he had a message waiting.

His chest went uncomfortable tight and he told himself to calm down. He hated this feeling. He hated acting like an idiot.

Hey, how was your day?, the message asked.

Long, ka-yu replied. I came home from work not long ago.

You should make sure to relax.

I already took a bath just now.

Ka-yu stared at the words, not sure if they might imply something sexual.

And how are you?, he added.

Tired. I had a shooting today and am extremely exhausted now.

You should go to sleep soon, then, ka-yu said. Sorry, for making you stay up so late yesterday.

No, no. I enjoy talking to you. Please, let’s chat some more today.

Aren’t you too tired?, ka-yu made sure.

Nothing exciting, please :P, the other one wrote back. Just talk to me, so I don’t feel so lonely. I was looking forward to that all day.

Ka-yu felt a soft sting in his chest. The words sounded small and vulnerable, but he liked that sort of honesty.

I was also looking forward to talking to you again, he admitted. What kind of shooting did you have today? Commercials?

No, I’m doing a minor role in a tv show currently. I’ll have shootings all week.

What made you want to become an actor?, ka-yu asked.

I don’t really know. It just happened. Sometimes I wonder what I’m even doing here.

Ka-yu himself didn’t know that feeling at all. Music was all he had ever wanted to do. It was so much fun, in spite of all the hard work.

Have you ever thought of doing something else instead?

Lately, I thought that I would like to try writing. I have this story in my head, about a woman. Or… rather a girl. But I don’t know. I don’t think anyone would like to read it. People want to see me act, that’s what I’m good at.

Ka-yu stared at the message for a while. He could read the hesitation between the lines, the insecurity.

If you want to try, you should try, he finally wrote. You don’t have to be good at it. Just do it for yourself and I’m sure you will find people who will want to read it. I’m here if you need a test reader.

Again, it was already getting late. Tomorrow, there would be recordings again. They were still trying things out, trying to find the right arrangement to the melodies. He knew that yasu had already started working on some lyrics, but mostly it was only humming at the moment. It was a difficult process, though, and he needed his full concentration.

Thank you, the reply came. I haven’t told anyone about this yet. Maybe I will give it a shot. But now I should probably sign off. I also want to take a bath and go to sleep early. But we will talk tomorrow, right?

Sure, ka-yu agreed. Sleep well and have a nice day tomorrow.

Sweet dreams and good night.

Ka-yu was smiling like an idiot as he switched off the computer.

***

The day had been long again, but this time he did not hesitate logging in to his account immediately.

Hi, how are you today?, he wrote before even going to the kitchen to make himself some food.

When he came back the reply was already waiting for him.

Good, but still tired. Or again, I’m not sure. But it’s better than yesterday.

Ka-yu nodded, although the other one could not see him. He felt pretty much the same.

Same here, he agreed. Are you making progress with the shooting?

Yes, we are, but there is still a lot of work ahead. But let’s not talk about that. I want to hear more about you. How long have you been single? If you don’t mind the question.

Ka-yu exhaled gravely. He hated that question almost as much as he hated the answer.

I haven’t really been seeing anyone in more than a year already, he owned up. Work is always keeping me busy.

For me the last serious relationship is also years ago. I’m tired of this shit. I just want to come home to someone.

Absent-mindedly ka-yu nodded to himself. He knew that feeling all too well.

Can I ask you something? Are you openly bisexual? I mean, is it a problem at your work or something?

Yes, I’m pretty open about it. Although not everyone approves, of course. I came out pretty early to everyone important to me, so it wasn’t a big deal.

First boyfriend?, ka-yu asked.

He was curious about this, about the experience other people had made.

Not sure if you could call it a boyfriend. I had just turned 18, had my first bigger role as an actor. He was a producer at the studio and at least 20 years older than me, but still very good looking. He took me to fancy restaurants a few times and a fancy hotel once. I was pretty easy to impress back then...

Are you telling me you lost your virginity to a hot sugar daddy?, ka-yu assured, not sure how he felt about it.

He had to admit that the idea was kind of hot, but it also made him feel insufficient and inexperienced.

How about you? Who was your first?

Man?, ka-yu assured, but really just playing on time.

His first time with a man had been well into his 20s and pretty unspectacular. They had met at a bar in Tokyo, went out for coffee the other day and never called each other afterwards. It wasn’t a story you used to impress. After the one he had just heard, it felt even more shabby.

Yeah.

Ka-yu hesitated. He wondered how he would have liked his first time to happen. He wondered what kind of story he would have liked it to be. The only thing he could think of was a very dorky grin with slightly crooked teeth.

I had this band with a few friends back at school, he typed, not sure where he was heading with it, just knowing what he would have liked it to be. In our last year of high-school we were playing a small gig at a local club. Everyone was there, our friends and family, celebrating afterwards. Just me and my best friend – he was our vocalist – snug out early. We went back to my place; my family was still out at the club. Everyone was wondering where we were, I guess. We didn’t care that night.

He remembered yasu’s heated cheeks that night and how his hair had stuck to his sweaty neck. A lot of things might have went different, if he had gathered up the courage to kiss him that night. The story might actually have become true.

That sounds nice, the other one replied. I was playing in a band in high-school, too, but I gave that up.

For a moment, ka-yu’s heart seemed to skip a beat, although he couldn’t quite say why.

What did you play?

Drums.

Deeply he exhaled. He didn’t know why he had been worried. But it was drums. Drums were good. Drums were not vocals.

Your arms must have looked very nice back then, he teased.

They still do ;D I try to work out whenever I find the time.

Ka-yu swallowed hard.

I think I’d rather go to sleep now. If you keep talking, I’ll get too excited to fall asleep otherwise.

He kind of hoped the other one would keep talking, though, and get him too excited to sleep ever again, but he didn’t.

Good night, his last message said.

Ka-yu thought that this was nice, too.

***

Today, recordings had been finished a bit earlier, so ka-yu was surprised he already had a message waiting for him when he got home.

Hello there. Work today was super boring, I would have preferred to chat with you instead. During lunch break I installed this program here on my mobile as well. If you do it, too, we can also talk during the day. If you want to, I mean.

Ka-yu hadn’t been aware there was a mobile version as well, but it took him only a few minutes to figure out how to install it.

Of course, I want to, he replied. I already did it just now.

Nothing happened for a while. The other one wasn’t online it seemed. With a groan ka-yu realized he would have to distract himself otherwise.

First, he thought of calling yasu, but then they had only seen each other at the studio an hour ago and he didn’t really know what they should talk about anyway.

So, instead he switched on the tv, skipping through the programs lazily. Every young man on the screen made him wonder if maybe that was the person he was chatting with. Maybe it was that handsome guy with the brown hair? Or that one in the background with the green jacket? The one drinking iced tea in that commercial?

He thought he would be able to keep his curiosity in check. Not knowing whom you were talking to was part of the excitement after all. But by now he wasn’t so sure about that anymore. He liked that guy, whomever he was. He would have liked to know a little more. He would also have liked to make sure he was hot, but that was something he didn’t like to admit. It was a pretty superficial thought. If they got along so well, the looks shouldn’t matter that much, right?

Starting to get bored, he switched the tv off again and supressed a yawn. Maybe he should take a nap. Tomorrow there was an important meeting at work and he didn’t really have a reason to stay up.

He took his mobile with him as he went to bed, taking off his jeans and laying down. If he just closed his eyes, the sleepiness would take over eventually.

It didn’t.

He was sleepy and exhausted, but his thoughts kept spinning.

Suddenly, his mobile buzzed with a strange sound.

He looked at the screen to realize he had gotten a message in the chat of that gay dating website.

He opened it, afraid that it might turn out to be another pervert, but it was the answer he had been waiting for.

I’m sorry, I was tired and trying to take a nap, but it just won’t work.

Surprised, ka-yu smirked.

I also went to bed to do the same, but I also can’t fall asleep.

Looks like you have to talk to me then.

Are you still in bed?, ka-yu typed.

Yes, although the bed is kinda too big for me alone.

Ka-yu licked his lips. Obviously the other one had understood what he was getting at.

Are you dressed?

Nah, I stripped down to my underwear before laying down.

Now, he swallowed, feeling his own body heat up significantly. He wasn’t used to chatting with someone like that, but it got him excited fast.

Describe yourself to me. I want to imagine what you look like right now.

I’m not especially tall, but I have a nice build, I think. I’m working out sometimes, but I’m not exactly muscular – more on the skinny side. I wear my hair long, because it makes me feel like a rebel. I have really nice lips; for kissing and also for sucking dick. And right now, I took off my panties, too, so I’m completely naked.

Ka-yu inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down. But the words made him feel strongly aroused. He imagined a handsome guy with long hair, now lying in his bed naked somewhere in Tokyo, talking to ka-yu.

You sound so sexy. I’m already hard, he confessed.

Show me.

Insecurely ka-yu stared at the last message. Wasn’t it too soon for that? He didn’t want to be one of those guys. At the same time the thought alone pumped even more blood down to his lower body.

You sure?, he asked.

Yes.

That was a pretty clear answer, ka-yu had to admit.

Hesitantly, he pushed back the blankets and pulled down his pants. His dick was towering into the air already and he went for his phone camera. Taking a loose hold of his erection, he took a picture, feeling a little weird about it.

He wasn’t really vain and not used to taking pics of his own penis but sending it to someone who didn’t even know his face was pretty exciting.

He checked the picture to see if there was anything that might give him away. But except for black nail polish coming off on his thumb there was nothing that told anything about ka-yu.

He hit send and waited for what felt like the longest minute in his life.

Oh god, your dick is so hot, I just want to do naughty things with it…

What do you want to do?, ka-yu asked, starting to stroke himself as he waited for the reply.

Probably the other one was doing the same now, fantasizing about ka-yu’s penis inside of him. The thought was such a turn-on, he moaned quietly.

I want to climb on top of you and sit down on that pretty dick. I want to ride you hard right now.

Ka-yu’s dick twitched slightly in his hand as he read the message. He let go to reply shortly.

Do you like riding dick?, he wanted to know.

Yes, I’m a slut for riding dick (and I mean that quite literally). I want to slide up and down on you, until you cum so hard, you won’t even remember your own name.

Softly, ka-yu swore under his breath, clenching his dick tightly, stroking fiercely now. He got aroused by how much that guy wanted to fuck him, how much he wanted to thrust into him himself. He liked the way he talked dirty and liked to imagine doing those things to him.

With a small outcry, he came, inhaling a few deep breaths, before picking up his phone again.

I want you to take me in all the way and get loud while we do it, he wrote.

He wanted the other one to have something nice to read, even if ka-yu was already finished.

There was a silence for a while and ka-yu’s breath came even now. His body felt warm and content and he was at the edge of falling asleep now for real. He forced himself to stay awake, though, until his mobile buzzed again.

Thank you. Are you finished as well?

Yeah, ka-yu replied. Now I’m sleepy.

So, we’re taking that nap together now?

Ka-yu yawned once again.

Let’s do it!, he agreed.

And so, they did.

***

The meeting was horribly boring. They were sitting in an office room and their producer was delivering a speech about the concept for their new album. It was mostly about finances and sales figures and questions of promotion ka-yu didn’t care about. Not even one song was completely finished yet; he didn’t understand the fuss. There would be a hundred similar meetings before the official release date.

Across the table yasu made a face at him and he rolled his eyes in agreement.

Everyone in the room was either playing with their mobile or scratching little drawings into the table plate in front of them.

Ka-yu got out his own mobile, only to see he had received a new message.

I’m so bored. What are you doing?

I’m at a meeting, ka-yu typed under the table, trying to look like he was still listening.

I’m at the set, but I’m not shooting at the moment. So, I’m just thinking about you.

What are you thinking about?, ka-yu inquired.

That picture you sent me yesterday. I’m imagining what your dick would feel like in my mouth and how you gag me with it. I want to lick it and push it down my throat. I want to taste your cum.

Ka-yu hoped that his cheeks wouldn’t colour as he read the message. He tried to keep a neutral expression, but it was difficult, because he already got aroused again.

The message following right away didn’t make it any better.

Actually, I have a huge boner right now. I just hope no one will notice.

Then go to the men’s room and jack off.

I can’t just leave, came the answer right away. Plus, someone might come in. I can’t just do it in the office’s toilet.

Of course, you can, ka-yu insisted. Now, be a good boy and listen to daddy.

Their producer was still talking, but ka-yu was paying even less attention now. He wondered if he would do it, or if he had demanded too much. The thought excited him that he could just order someone around like that. That someone might sneak off work to touch themselves, just because ka-yu wanted them to.

Okay.

That single word made his breath catch for a second. Okay. He would do it.

And don’t bother to keep your voice down. I want you to know that someone might hear and know what a slut you are; not even able to keep your hands off yourself during work.

Deeply ka-yu exhaled before hitting send. He had never thought of himself as kinky, but he had to admit that this was fun.

He looked at their producer again, who now paused to sort out the papers in front of him.

“Any questions so far, guys?”, he asked.

Yasu gave a quick hand sign to draw his attention.

“Could we maybe take a short break? 15 minutes or so? I really need a smoke.”

Their producer looked a little surprised, but ka-yu nodded in agreement.

“Yes, a smoke would be great”, he said.

After this chat he really needed to catch some fresh air.

“Alright, then let’s meet here again in 15 minutes”, their producer gave in and everyone grabbed their jackets to go out for a bit.

Ka-yu already felt a lot calmer as he stepped into the cool air outside. His head seemed to clear up and all the other parts of his body also felt less heated immediately.

He lit himself a cigarette and looked around.

“Hey, have you seen yasu?”, he asked one of the staff members next to him.

The whole crew had taken the opportunity for a break. A lot of people were involved with sales figures, but no one seemed to find them very interesting.

“No, sorry”, the young woman said and ka-yu shrugged it off.

Maybe he had went to smoke somewhere else, or he had went to get himself something to eat instead.

He checked his mobile, but there was no new message. He was weirdly disappointed by that but hoped that it meant his order was being carried out at the moment.

After about ten minutes, people started to walk back inside.

Ka-yu lit himself another cigarette, just to have an excuse to stay out longer.

Once again, he checked his phone, but no one had messaged him in the meantime.

“Ka-yu, you coming? The meeting is starting again in a moment.”

He gave a short wave with his hand to signal he was aware of it. Then he looked at his mobile again, although he knew he was acting unreasonable.

Everyone else had went back inside by now and he was the only one still standing here. The 15 minutes weren’t quite over yet, but everyone seemed eager to get back to work.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open and yasu dashed out, a little out of breath and his cheeks a very healthy colour.

“Fuck, I almost didn’t find the time”, he swore and got out a pack of cigarettes, struggling with his lighter.

“Let me do that”, ka-yu offered and pulled out his own to light yasu’s cigarette.

They were standing very close and he could see yasu’s lips tremble slightly as he sucked on the cigarette while ka-yu gave him fire.

“Thanks”, he said, smoke blowing out between his lips as he spoke.

Ka-yu knew they should probably quit smoking, especially yasu who had to watch out for his voice. But he also had to admit that his friend looked really sexy with a cigarette.

“Where have you been? You were the one who wanted to smoke”, he asked.

Yasu gave a small shrug, but his grin gave him away.

“I had to answer a very important phone call”, he said.

Ka-yu raised his eyebrows at him, yasu’s smile making him feel a light pang of jealousy.

“Someone special?”, he assured.

Yasu gave a short nod, while inhaling another lung full of smoke.

“Don’t tell me it’s someone you met on the internet?”, ka-yu teased lightly, but felt angry about it for no specific reason.

Yasu was already making phone calls then.

“I know it’s ridiculous, but yeah”, he admitted.

“You ought to watch out”, ka-yu reminded him sternly. “Someone might recognize your voice.”

“I know”, yasu waved it off. “Don’t worry, I’m careful. No meetings or pictures so far.”

Ka-yu hesitated a moment. The possible answer to the next question already made his chest feel tight.

“Someone you like?”

Yasu shrugged once more.

“Someone I’d like to get laid with, at least”, he joked and made ka-yu roll his eyes.

He should not have expected anything else from his friend. Of course, yasu wasn’t the one who would have deep, meaningful talks and develop a good relationship first like ka-yu was doing.

“Just take care”, he said and saw yasu’s grin soften a bit.

“I wondered if you are free on the weekend?”, he changed the topic. “There is this event for young bands that are not popular yet. I thought it would be good to keep an eye on the scene. Wanna go? It’s on Sunday.”

“Ehm.”

Ka-yu thought about it. Usually, he would have said yes, since he didn’t have better plans anyway. But now, he thought, that he would much rather stay in and chat with his new crush. He felt a bit bad for letting yasu down, but they were already spending so much time together, it hardly made a difference.

“Sorry, I’ll be busy”, he said.

[blogcoupdoeilofmysanitythin-blog]

YENGICHI MOSHAN

SUMMARY Yengichi Moshan, unlike any other circus in the world arrived everywhere from the ashes that suddenly lay in open grounds, and disappeared in the fires of the color black. Nobody knew where the circus will stop next, until yards below ashes in an open ground ashes were found, again. {A/N:-the parts written in italics are moments or feelings “she” had experienced. It is NOT written down. The rest of it-in normal font style-is written down and printed as a newspaper article. You will understand what I am saying eventually ;) }

Teaser “It was like the calm before the storm, the walk to the infamous circus-Yengichi Moshan at mid night that stood majestically kissing the skies. It covered almost a whole ground that was never noticed by people of London until a pile of ash was found.   Noises of various spectators were deafened by a screaming silence as I continued to walk closer towards a gigantic pitch-black tent that was almost undistinguished from the similar night sky, if not for the stars and moon. And as much funny as it sounds that’s all the entire circus consisted of a giant dull-black tent and a giant creepy looking circus gate that seem to be picked out by a typical witch-wizard movie. Not much could be made out of it at night but it surely didn’t look pretty at day time either, it just seemed a lot unreal and scary-perhaps a little less at night I suppose.   Each footstep started to feel heavy as an unsettling feeling scouted its place in my stomach. I felt dubious, highly dubious of my decision to come to the circus and the merciless thrashing of wind against my face was not quite helping. I wish I could pin-point precisely at the cause of a sudden swift in my demeanor and behavior but it continues to be a mystery and I prefer not to dwell on it much now.   I could hear whispers….gently numbing my body and mind, whispers that accompanied me along with the cold wind and noises. It said, “Come….don’t go…”

At that time though, I could feel every inch of my body literally begging me to take a u-turn to my house to bask in the warmth of my blanket and bed. However, something in me was forcing me to take one more step and another and another one till I had reached the just-as-gigantic circus gates where a crowd of people have gathered who “patiently” waited for the circus to start. They still reverberated in my mind, blocking all of my senses….those sweet-gentle whispers that now said, “Don’t be shy” While everyone bickered about the circus and impatiently moved from foot to foot I was left in a trance as my mind twirled around that voice, a soft-melodious whisper again and again repeating like a mantra in my mind and then…and then I heard someone snap their fingers. I could feel a sudden sense of giddiness that took over my system very quickly accompanied by the similar impatience that was visible from all the waiting spectators but no sooner than a word had left my mouth and my brows had furrowed the gigantic gates had opened up. I glanced down at my wrist watch and so did many others; it was precisely 12’o clock and the sign that said-only open at midnight-slowly disappeared and got replaced by-the circus is now open! I looked around like a mad checking whether it was only my imagination or did I actually hear someone snap their fingers…like really, really loud to sting my ears but all I saw were impatient, chattering and a few frustrated faces whose eyes went past me like I was never even there. Shivering and utterly bewildered I turned front to stare at the circus gates finally opening however a similar lean figure of a boy stood in front of me, his mesmerizing raven black orbs directly staring at mine. “You look nice Zara. Welcome….hi at least…?”No no no no no!!! The words rang in my head louder and louder with every ‘no’ as his coy smile and mocking tone literally got plastered in my mind. It was giving me a headache and believe me it was quite a one. “I-I-I…”I stopped speaking when I realized that this time after eight years, after all these years I actually got to see his face. The only word to describe the circus was- heavenly. The huge dull-black tent walls were now changed into a rich color of glistening velvet black with infinite shimmering white sparkles that resembled the stars appearing out of nowhere. It seemed as if the crystals moved like a wave moving up and then down even though the tent walls did not whatsoever move. The rhythmic movement was too eye-catching to be just ignored even by a person who prefers boredom. Just like me thousands were awed at the beauty presented before them not quite believing it or their eyes. Some even went as far as touching the sparkles that flicked their foreheads and went back to motion. Quite a group of people and I laughed (some even guffawed) I mean how could you not-it was so unexpected after all, in a good way though. But that was not all, oh no no no no that just could not be all. At the base of that tent various colored beautiful lights lit up which started to move in a sync around the tent; warmth spreading ones system when the lights falls on one’s body. It was truly heavenly indeed. An awful wave of nausea that threatened to eat me alive was instantly replaced with wide-glimmering eyes and an ‘o’ shaped mouth that drunk in the image of the only circus tent decorated like an angel. Whether one says it as ‘……beautiful……’ or ‘BEAUTIFUL!!!!!’, none were and are and ever will be even close enough to describe the heavenly, unearthly sight before my eyes, before everyone’s who had visited the circus at least once, and this was something to which even a child would agree upon. Just marvelous….fantastic…ama-amazing.....so unearthly it all was, it all felt like. “Please come in…” a deep voice had resonated all around waking every single spectator, even I for that matter, from a deep trance. A lot fidgeted in their place, having difficulty to focus on reality very slowly making their way inside the ethereal tent; their minds-and mine too-believing with whole heart that no magic trick or stunt nor an illusion can truly compare to the marvel that we all stood in. When I had gotten in I don’t know what I was honestly expecting but three wooden doors- contrast to basically every huge thing encountered in the circus-standing with a board hanging by the knob were definitely not one. The doors were numbered 1 to 3 from the left; the numbers carved on the doors. Number One said-The main show, the second said-To the sky and the third said-Your mind. I remember straining my ears and staying alert for the voice to speak up again and tell us what to do, where to go unfortunately it never did leading into a more confused crowd than before. Those who seemed to already have visited the circus or not quite as confused as us laughed and moved to the doors of their choice, one of them even said, “Whatcha waitin’n for chaps? Get movin’n.” before he entered the first door that said The Main Show. And so everyone flocked towards the first door with lazy steps. READ THE WHOLE ARTCILE AT PAGE 15” Zara Singe sat on her favorite arm chair where her back become one with it. Her one hand clutched the piece of article she had written and the other held the coffee mug tightly by its handle as her eyes momentarily closed for the memory to replay and take her away from the world. I remember how the same uncertainty and dilemma judged my steps as I stared at the three doors and back to my feet, my gaze lingering longer on the first door for my liking. I saw everyone move with the some hesitation but that was what the difference between them and I was-some. For them it was some uncertainty but when it came to me all I wished was same could be said for me. I felt scared as the whispers and the boy who had occupied almost all my childhood clogged my mind. I remember-no! I know that I was the last person who entered the door number one. I know, I was the last person to be seated in that huge auditorium. But what I don’t know is why the thoughts of that nameless boy had resurfaced after all these years, what I don’t know is why now-of all the time and place. Why now? Fear started to tickle my insides as I heard the door close behind me. Walk dammit! I had cursed myself but not one step was taken when that voice, that same voice which whispered in my ear, the voice that makes me feel secure and at the same time very small, the voice of that boy-it echoed all around the huge dimly-lit auditorium and just like again I was the only one who could hear it. “Smart choice Zara, believe me” I shivered and turned around immediately but what I saw were sparkles-those beautiful sparkles that were on the tent walls of the circus-which when touched the ground turned to ashes. ……. Far away from London, in the compartment of a train seven men were seated-everyone busy with themselves. “Aren’t you going to tell your hyungs what you are reading, hmm?” a silver haired man asked with a monotonous tone whilst adjusting his glasses. “Never believed you to be the one in newspapers, isn’t it the first time Kookie-ah?” a blonde haired mocked as he threw his arms around the said man “Never believed you of all ever bothered about my daily activities Jiminie-hyung” the man replied in a made-up voice that made the blonde scrunch up his nose and sketch a playful smirk across his features as he tried to kiss the latter. “It is about her isn’t it?” Jimin said with a look that could sour the milk and voice that laced with despise and hate “Yes, it is” Jungkook plainly replied, no emotion shown through his voice. “Well….what do you think, can we use her yet Jungkook?” the silver haired man asked removing his glasses and leaning back in his seat. “Well it is better if your answer point towards yes for her and our sake” Another blonde spoke up with his lips parted as he continued to read through a book while his sweating naked back got Jimin whistling and leaving Jungkook, much to his relief. Dreading silence had broken in the room and no one bothered breaking, all just waiting for an answer. “The answer Jun-” “Yes Jin hyung she is useful….very in fact” the raven haired boy answered as he read the last lines of the article-the circus was truly a fantastic experience and flood of emotions I long to have already. “Is the article good?”The silver haired asked staring dead eye in the latter’s eye. “Not quite, honestly. It is not worth your time Namjoon hyung” the boy returned the look whilst Namjoon just hummed. “Is that how it is.” It didn’t come out as a question though “That is how it is hyung.”

................

A/N:-inspired by a masterpiece called ‘NIGHT CIRCUS’

[5hfanfiction]

Now You Know (Camren) Chapter 4: The Brunette on the Balcony

A/N: Idk but Camila drinking out of a beer bottle would be very attractive.

Camila does not come back to her place next to Keana like I assumed she would. Keana is drinking more from her red solo cup, not completely aware of Camila’s absence. I don’t mention it either, but as we are conversing, I keep wondering where Camila has run off to. She only knows us at this party, and although she’s a social butterfly, she’s not one to showcase that at these kind of gatherings. I glance at my phone, checking the time and my surroundings periodically.

When ten minutes have passed with no texts or sign of Camila, I shoot up from my seat, not bothering excusing myself. I walk through the halls and check the kitchen (pouring myself another drink while I’m there), disappointed when I don’t see her there.

I turn the knob into Keana's bedroom after checking her roommates’ bedrooms and coming up short. I’ve spent lots of nights in here, ranging from studying for our midterms to binge watching The Games of Thrones. The best part of this room though is just outside of it- the balcony. And who I’m looking for seems to agree with me, washing my worries away.

I slide the screen door, careful to not disturb the girl with her arms leaning on the rails. Her head turns to look at me, but instead of acknowledging me, her attention goes back to the view. I stand next to her, also admiring the city lights.

“I was wondering where you ran off to,” I break the silence. She takes her time responding back.

“I was just here. Thinking,” Camila explains, “I can’t do a lot of that in there with all that noise.”

“What about?” I ask.

“It’s not a big deal,” she tells me, sipping her nearly full Corona.

That’s how Camila is, and always has been since I’ve known her. She was always there when I needed to get some things off my chest, but she rarely gave me the chance to do it for her in return. The brunette opposite of me posed most of her problems to be minuscule. And when I tried to console her for even those, she’d wave it off and make the conversation about me again.

It was flattering when we were younger- having someone that was so interested in me and what I had to say. But now, being disconnected from her for years, I wanted more. I wanted to know more about what shaped the person before me, who was more confident and bold than the girl I once knew. For some reason, the woman alongside me on the balcony was showing yet another side of her. She seemed more vulnerable at the moment.

“It is to me. C'mon Camz, I’m all ears.”

Camila breathes out, “I was thinking… about us.”

Her tone sends goosebumps over my body and I can feel my cheeks heat up.

“I was thinking of where we could have been if I grew the balls to tell you how I really felt about you, all those years ago. Better late than never, right?” she attempts to joke but the tension between right now remains thick.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, but I don’t know what for exactly.

“What are you apologizing for? It’s not like you rejected me. I didn’t even give you a chance to.”

“But if I knew that you did I would have-”

“You would have what? Dated me?” she says it as if it's the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Camila and I met at an interesting point in my life. Months before we met, I had fully come to terms with not being entirely into guys like I had been for the past seventeen years. I found myself admiring more girls and becoming less interested in conversations about boys. However, since my attraction for the same sex felt so new, I kept it under wraps. After all, I had a little over a year left at the All-Girls Catholic school. The development would have only caused unwanted gossip. Only a few of my friends knew about this and I planned on keeping it that way until college.

Camila stepping into the picture did not change that. Under those circumstances, I wouldn’t have dated her. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it back then, but now, I wasn’t hiding anything. There was no reason for us not to try this again.

Who was I to say that, though? I wasn’t even sure if she still had those feelings for me. And I wasn’t sure if possible feelings for Camila or my newfound jealousy of Keana were talking.

The selfish thought constantly flashing in my head was screaming Yes, I would.

“Maybe not then, but now…” I reply before I can stop myself, causing her to look back at me intently.

Her lips part but her words don’t come out of her immediately. I’m captivating by her, under the moonlight; Hey eyes are glossy and her lips are a little chapped, but still beautiful nonetheless. It makes me itch to have any physical connection with her.

I don’t get the chance to act on my impulse because a body lodges itself between us.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite ladies," Keana slurs, putting her arms around our shoulders. The smell of alcohol is more prominent than it was when I last saw her.

"Have I told you how fucking beautiful you are?” she whispers, leaning into Camila, but it’s loud enough for me to hear.

“Several times tonight, actually,” she giggles.

“Ohhhh. But just in case I didn’t. You’re fucking beautiful, Camila," Keana bluntly states, leaving Camila a blushing mess. How charming.

The display in front of me feels too much, especially after my weak confession. I wrap my hand around Keana’s, successfully getting out of her grasp.

"I’ll just leave you two alone,” I mutter, walking back inside.

“Lauren,” Camila says sternly, “You don’t have to go.”

“Don’t worry, have your fun,” I encouraged, “I’ll be inside.” I close the screen door, not bothering to hear her response. I run my fingers through my hair, chugging the rest of the contents in my cup. I walk back into the living space and chat up the first familiar face I see, hoping that it will take my mind off of the brunette on the balcony.

///

When the two women I left at the balcony reemerge, most of the crowd is gone. I’ve been stuck having small talk with Jordan while tidying the kitchen. Their hands are intertwined and Keana's arm is still slumped around Camila’s shoulder.

“I was gonna lay her on her bed, but she insisted that she’d walk me to the door,” she rolls her eyes playfully at the girl beside her. “Lauren, we ready to go?”

I nod in response, gathering my phone on the counter. Camila transfers Keana into Jordan’s arms, telling her to take care of herself.

“Call me!" Keana screams as we close the door behind us, leaving Camila laughing down the hallway.

The walk was relatively quiet. None of us acknowledged of the things that were said of the balcony, but it may have been better that way. Honestly, I couldn’t handle anything else tonight. All I wanted right now was to cuddle with my comforter and call it a night. But even that wasn’t an option- I planned for Camila to take refuge in my bed during her stay here while I took the couch.

When we’re finally in the apartment, Camila excuses herself to dress in more comfortable clothes. She appears from the bathroom with a fresh face, baggy shirt, and shorts that fit snugly on her. The sight makes my heart swell. I gather similar apparel from my closet and change in the bathroom afterward. I hover in the doorway of my bedroom, where Camila is sitting up, back on the headboard, scrolling through her phone.

"I just wanted to say goodnight,” I address.

“You’re not sleeping here?” I shake my head.

“I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, there’s enough space for both of us on your bed.”

“I’m seriously fine with the couch,” I insist.

“Lauren.” She cocks an eyebrow and I know that I lost this argument. I walk into my room that is lit by the Christmas lights I hung up months ago. It goes well with the photos throughout the room. I sit up on the other side of the bed. I scan the walls and I notice that Camila has pinned Lucy’s sketch on the wall with a thumbtack.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I know it’s not a photo, but it helps with the aesthetic,” she tells me jokingly, but it really does.

“It’s perfect,” I smile at her and settle under the covers. She follows suit, leaving us staring at the ceiling. There’s a gap between us that feels awkward but we don’t address it. No words are exchanged for a while, so I assume that Camila fell asleep. I’m lying on my back, my fingers intertwined above the covers, not completely asleep you.

“Keana asked me out on a date,” she blurts. My mind blanks and I immediately stiffen at her confession. “Oh.” is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.

When my brain has the ability to think properly again, I turn my head and ask, “What did you say?”

She huffs. “I didn’t her give an answer yet. I don’t know, Lauren. I came here to spend time with you, not a girl I just met. And she was pretty drunk, she probably didn’t mean to,” she doubts.

“Camila, there’s no mistake when a girl like you is getting asked out, drunkenly or not,” I say honestly. Her genuine smile makes my heart flutter, then I remember what we’re talking about.

“We aren’t on a set schedule, so it wouldn’t be a big deal if you went out with her,” I rationalize while the selfish part of me is currently beating me up for allowing me to even give them a chance.

“Alright, I guess I’ll text her tomorrow,” she made known.

“You have her number?”

“She said I couldn’t leave without it.” She pushes her left sleeve up and lifts her arm, revealing the phone number on her bicep, written in lipstick. We laugh about it for a bit until I switch off the Christmas lights.

We exchange goodnights in the near darkness, only the moonlight from the window providing us light. I turn away from her, laying on my side. Her breathing becomes steadier and I know that she’s already fallen asleep. I follow almost immediately, my last thought is on how the rest of the night would have played out if I didn’t leave what I said so open-ended.

A/N: Hello!! I basically wrote this whole thing in a day. It usually takes a week to piece it all together but I experienced major writer’s block for half of it. Thoughts? SUGGESTIONS (I need those)? Concerns? I’d love to hear ‘em all. Also, go tell your crush that you have a crush on her/him. Or else you’ll be swimming in regret like me. If you wanna know more about that story that was the basis of this story, just ask me, haha. Okay bye!!

Wattled: MISSMOVeyonce

[high5nerd]

Alone Together---Chap. Nine

"Alright, looks like I'll be taking off again," Alice sighed, pulling on her coat, "I'll only be working a five hour shift today, so it shouldn't be long."

I shrugged my shoulders, slightly agreeing with her. Granted, that may be short compared to the other times she's worked late at night at the bookstore, but it still felt wrong not having her around. I liked it better when she had the day off...not working for so little.

"Sadie will eat anything besides bananas, and she knows how to make herself a sandwich and rice for lunch. Oh, and make sure she stays away from the freezer," she smirked at me, "she knows I bought ice cream sandwiches the other day."

I rolled my eyes, grinning, "I'll do everything I can to keep her at bay."

She paused, looking at me as her hand was wrapped around the doorknob. I waited for her to say something, because she sure looked like something was on her mind. I finally gave a lopsided smile, showing her there was really nothing to worry about. After a moment, she ran over and hugged me tightly, almost making me stumble back in surprise. It was so sudden I honestly didn't know what to do or say. Should I hug her back? Remain frozen like this? Make a joke so she could get off?

...Her body fit so snugly against mine...like a puzzle piece.

She pulled back, a wide grin on her face. Even her eyes sparkled with happiness, making me unable to say any words of compliment or appraisal.

"Thank you. A lot, Pitch." she finally said softly, brushing back some stray auburn hair from her face.

I finally smiled, "Anything for you."

Alice's smile became brighter, her cheeks dusted with a light pink as she shyly nodded. With that, she scurried out the door and securely locked it behind her, leaving me in a dreamlike trance.

Who knew, right? A Boogeyman like myself would be so easily rendered speechless by one single person, let alone a mortal.

Though it was still the early morning, I went over to Sadie's bedroom door and silently opened it, noticing the light was still off besides the pink nightlight near her bedside table. One doll was snuggled close to the lump under the covers, and one had fallen to the ground on it's head. Cards scattered the end of the bed where the knitted quilt ended, some folded from midnight tossing and turning.

"Sadie? You awake?" I whispered out into the darkness.

No response. I chuckled and closed the door, muttering ten more minutes of rest before waking her up for breakfast. Children these days, wanting more time to sleep in and let the morning go by. I blame the Industrial Revolution, working those youngsters late at night so frequently their entire biological clock changed to what it is now.

I'm no cook, I know that for a fact. Spirits don't need to eat, but some prefer to either because of the grandeur of flavor or that it makes them feel a little bit like a mortal once more. Some of us just happen to miss the mini joys of mortality, like eating whatever to fill our stomachs. There's definitely no gourmet kitchen in the lair that I resided in before, but that didn't mean I didn't know how to read directions of a cookbook and understand the language of cuisine.

Okay, what I'm trying to hint was that I basically found myself making quiche for Sadie's breakfast. Don't judge, alright? What else was I supposed to do while waiting for her to wake up? I know how to make quiche easily, probably more than how to make pancakes. An entire library in a lair with almost nothing to do can come in handy, so why give up the opportunity to try out my skills?

The finishing result was quite nice, especially with a hint of spices and sliced peppers that I found on a wooden block near the toaster. I left out the tray full of quiche and dropped the bowlful of fruit next to it so Sadie could have her pick, sat at the kitchen table and waited.

I tapped my fingers in rhythm on the table, smiling to myself at my success. I bet Sadie would be impressed with this! Who knew the Boogeyman had such taste, right? Maybe even Alice would like it as well. I had to make sure to save some for her when she returns home from work.

...Anytime she could wake up…any time now…

More than twenty minutes passed. Now I was starting to get irritated. Obviously her breakfast has gotten cold and she hasn't even woken up yet.

I stormed down the hallway to her room and whipped open the door, "Alright, lazy buns, you've slept in long enough. Come on."

Nothing.

"Hey! Sadie, wake up!" I went over and rested my hand on the lump where her shoulder should be, "Breakfast is far beyond ready!"

Still nothing. Now I was worried.

I whipped back the blankets, watching it flutter and fall against the dresser that was opposite of her bed, "Come on, Sadie, when I say get up, you-OH GOD!"

Where her body should be were pillows and stuffed animals clumped together, along with a pink, downy blanket that was rumpled underneath. I stared in horror, not responding to the absence of Sadie. She's missing.

Oh God, she's actually missing.

"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath, running out of her room and down to Alice's room frantically. I slammed open the door, but she wasn't sleeping in her bed either. She wasn't in the adjoining bathroom, or anywhere in the closet or even under the beds. She wasn't in the kitchen, outside in the backyard or the drive way, nor in any hiding places of her room or the living room.

Now I was panicking. I lost a child. I can't believe I actually lost a child. Sadie's sister left me in charge of her, and normally Sadie is reasonably manageable, but this time I really fucked up. I can't find the girl!

My heart rate was going ten times faster than it should be. I was sorely afraid, and dread filled my gut, almost making me sick to my stomach. Dizziness...I have to calm down.

What do I do now? I can't just wait until her sister comes home. Oh God, what if she comes home and Sadie is still missing? What would I say? She'd be furious with me. I'd have failed her!

...I gotta go find Alice.

She was just passing the poetry and prose section when I covered her mouth and pulled her into a different aisle. She screamed, muffled behind my hand and her arms flailed everywhere, trying to find her attacker.

"Shh! Wait wait wait!" I panicked, turning her around so she knew it was me.

Her dark brown eyes widened to the size of gumballs. She was definitely shocked. After I released my hand from her mouth, she asked hoarsely, "What are you doing here?!"

I opened my mouth, paused, and then winced. "Sadie's missing."

"WHAT?!" she screamed.

Anonymous voices shushed her, making her blush in both anger and embarrassment. She looked to the door to make sure no one was coming and whipped back to face me, clearly seeing I was just as bothered as her.

"When did you find this out?!"

"I let her sleep in twenty minutes more and when I went to wake her up...it was just pillows." I threw up my hands, unable to really explain.

"God, Pitch!" she yelled, and ran over to the checkout counter.

"How's this my fault?! I didn't know that she was gone until this morning!" I snapped, getting irritated with her. I had no right, but it wasn't fair on my part.

"She couldn't have ran off at night, we would've seen her!" her sister shouted back, punching in random numbers to clock herself out of her shift.

"ALICE!" a rough voice shouted.

By her startled face I assumed it was her boss approaching behind me. Already angry and frantic enough, I just stuck out my hand and blasted him with a force of nightmare sand, sending him backwards into a collection of young adult novels, unmoving from his spot. I didn't look away from her, as she stared in shock at what I did. Finally, she looked back at me.

"Can we go now?" I pointed to the door.

After a moment's of hesitation, she nodded and leaped over the counter, throwing down her employee tag onto the floor behind us as we sprinted out into the open street, narrowly missing a biker and a taxi carrying two people that shouted insults at her, but she didn't care.

"She couldn't be at her friend Lucy's house 'cause they're off in Boston! Grandma is five miles away so she couldn't have gone to her-" she frantically thought aloud, but I didn't give her time to think.

Immediately I allowed nightmare sand to form around us, and before her stood a fearsome stallion, huffing hot air into her face. She stared blankly at it, then a horrified expression crossed her face before she saw me jump onto the back of this nightmare. I reached out a hand, and she doubtfully gave me a look.

"Come on! Just trust me!" I begged her, stretching out my hand.

Something in her expression changed. It resembled both surprised and...she looked like she was considering the fact that I was concerned about a kid when I'm the monster that scares them off. I don't know how to form that into one word, but she looked compassionate. Nonetheless her hand slipped into mine and I pulled her up to sit in front of me.

"Hold onto his mane but don't pull." I ordered, grabbing the reins.

"O-okay." she nervously stammered.

Unlike other horses, nightmares were faster. They didn't need to stop and rest nor needed food, so they were the most reliable to get places. After gaining back control of the beasts, I did make a few adjustments, like to never turn against their leader...horrid assholes. But like an inventor makes adjustments on a robot or a clock master adjusts the spokes in a watch, the same mistake should never happen again.

Hopefully.

Alice double checked all of the rooms in the house, including the attic, a place I didn't even know the small house had. I checked the backyard, even around her window for footprints. Oddly enough, the window was unlocked, but shut. I remember Alice mentioning she keeps windows locked at night, so that was my first clue.

The big home run was the tiny pinpricks of gold I saw nestled in the blades of grass…

I touched the grass, seeing golden sand shimmer in the sunlight. Some of the sand that I touched turned to ebony black, but the rest remained so. I blew on the spot, like a camper would to start a fire, and the dreamsand curled into the air lazily.

Slowly, it formed into airy images of Santoff Claussen, and a sting ray circling around the towers, slowly dissipating back into nothingness. I grit my teeth and angrily brushed the sand away.

"Sandman...you son of a bitch." I hissed under my breath, abruptly standing up.

Alice ran back outside, her hair flying everywhere and was out of breath. "Nowhere. Found anything?" she asked, trying to calm her beating heart.

I nodded and showed her the remaining dreamsand that flew in the warm wind, "Sandman took her to Santoff Claussen."

"Where?" she raised a brow, thoroughly confused.

I rolled my eyes, "The North Pole. Santa's Workshop. Whatever you humans call it."

She stared at me, blinking twice before snapping, "I thought Sandman was on our side!"

I shrugged and gestured towards the stallion to climb back on, "I guess they just went for a visit and lost track of time. Come on, we can't waste time."

"Weee!" Sadie squealed as she slid down the smooth, wooden banister with the help of Sandman. North chuckled as he watched them play, a toy boat in his hands that a yeti just gave him.

"Glad to see you making friends, Sanderson!" North called out, his bright blue eyes shining with amusement.

Sandy grinned back, clearly having fun himself. Sadie looked up at him, a faint smile on her face before hopping off the banister and running towards North for another hug. Sandy quickly floated behind her, making sure she wouldn't trip on any passing elves or runaway toys. North laughed as he enveloped her in another hug, knowing that his hugs were a new thing Sadie liked.

"Can you play with us too, Santa?" she asked, looking up at him with her big eyes.

"North, child. And not at the moment, I have toys to fix and create." he said, patting her head lovingly before pointing to the boat in his hand.

"What's wrong with the boat? Does it sink?" she asked, following him to his working desk.

"That is the problem, yes. Wood may be too thick, I take. You like?" he let her hold onto it.

The battleship looking boat was only four or five inches long, but it sure was heavy for such a small toy. Sadie clutched it tightly in her hands so it wouldn't fall from her grasp. She carefully observed the boat, flipping it upside down to see the underside, and knocked it with her knuckles.

"Maybe it needs to be more hollow?" she guessed, and by the wide grin he gave her, she was right.

"Krasnov! Just what I was thinking!" he praised her, patting her neatly brushed hair.

After North returned to his whittling of the battleship, Sandy took Sadie by her hand and led them outside of his office, turning to her excitedly for more games. Never before has he been so alert and awake! He wished he could play with Sadie for the rest of the day like this. So far they've played tag, hide-and-seek, read exciting stories from North's vast library, played with some of the toys the yetis were working on, and slid down the banister as if it were a slide. It's as if both he and Sadie had bountiful energy that never decreased, they could go on having fun the entire day!

"Whew! What's next, Sandy?" Sadie put her hands on her hips happily, grinning at him.

He made a thinking face, one that made the little girl giggle. A light bulb formed around the top of his noggin before forming two sand clouds in the air, one for him and one for the little ten-year-old. Sadie stared at the marvelous sight of her very own sand cloud, glittering with it's own golden glory.

Finally, she beamed brightly at him.

"A cloud race?!" she excitedly guessed, to which Sandy nodded with a wide smile.

"Aw, yes!" she fist pumped the air as she jumped onto her cloud, "First one to race all the way to the globe wins!"

They drove their dreamsand clouds all the way to the decked out, mosaic windows all the way to the east, where the giant window to let in the glare of the moon was wide open, the only source of cold air so the inside of Santoff Claussen wouldn't overheat. With the count to three, they whizzed through the air towards the globe, making sure to dodge flying toys left and right. Just to show off, Sandy jumped over a flying toy turtle, pirouetted and landed safely on his little cloud, smiling at Sadie's laughter. She, of course not going to that level of daredevil, simply stood up on her cloud and pretended to surf the wind, and Sandy joined along with her play.

But just as they whizzed closer and closer to the giant globe of Earth, a great wind rushed into the center of the grand room, and from the dark crevices of the workshop flew out nightmare sand, fluttering wickedly in the breeze like an angry tornado. Sadie's eyes widened as the nightmare sand formed into a fearsome stallion with glowing, yellow eyes, and sitting on top of that very stallion were two people that she knew very well.

One was a man dressed in black, the other was her sister. And both were very, very pissed off.