#and how i just literally could listen to her talk for hours and idek how to explain it but i just feel SO SAFE WITH HER 🤎🤎🤎 and our

[thanksfortheflaglove]

—

[upat4amwiththemoon]

The Scary People Next Door part 3

Summary: Two women move to the neighborhood, it seems like there’s more to them than meets the eye.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Warnings: nightmare (let me know if there are any!)

Word count: 2299

a/n: Finally a new part! Hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated :)

Tags: @madamevirgo @fishlikestuff @hi-i-1 @d14n4ol @simpforwandanat @diaryoflife @emilyprentissslut @idek-5

Y/N declines Darcy’s call for the fifth time in the span of an hour. She has been trying to call her the whole day, even Monica called her a few times, but Y/N hasn’t answered to any of them. She knew Darcy would eventually end up knocking on her door and possibly breaking in with the help of Monica’s tech if she didn’t answer soon. She couldn’t bring herself to pick up the phone and talk to Darcy, yesterday’s events still clear in her head.

Groaning, Y/N plays a voicemail Darcy just left her. “Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you right now, but I don’t appreciate you ignoring me. So, you better answer my next call or I’m coming over with Monica. And if you even think about not opening the door, I’ll call Jane and drag her here to drag your ass out of the bed!” The voicemail ends.

Jane Foster, Y/N and Darcy’s best friend, who neither of them have seen in years. Y/N met her and Erik Selvig through Darcy while she was helping with Jane’s astronomy research for college credit. Y/N decided to tag along and help as much as possible. They became close, and still are to a certain extent, but things happen. Darcy had to leave to finish college and become an astrophysicist, Jane got a new job at S.H.I.E.L.D and Y/N had to find an actual job that is in her skill set rather than being strung along with different doctors.

Jane was always known to be a bit bossy. It wasn’t always a bad thing, she needed to be bossy as a woman in that field of work to be heard and taken seriously. For Y/N that meant doing things that she didn’t want to do, like getting a job. If it wasn’t for Jane, she'd most likely still follow Darcy around like a lost puppy, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. She is very grateful for Jane pushing her into getting a job. That being said, she knows Jane would come over and make her spit out everything if Darcy did call her.

Her phone goes off. Y/N rubs her eyes frustratedly before picking up the phone and answering it. “Hi.”

“Hi? You ignore my calls the whole day and all you say is hi?”

“I’m sorry.” Y/N sighs. “I really just don’t feel like talking today.” She mumbles while laying in her bed. She has been laying on her bed the whole day, only getting up to go to the bathroom and get something to drink. She tried to convince herself that yesterday didn’t affect her, but it did, a lot more than she’d like to admit.

”That’s usually the time you need to talk to people the most.”

She did need someone to talk to. The feeling of rambling everything she feels to Darcy was strong, but the guilt of making her problems Darcy’s problems was bigger.

“I’m just tired, nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Would you like me and Monica to come over?”

Y/N bites her tongue, Darcy’s words bringing her close to tears. The damned question: Are you okay? That one question makes her want to spill out her guts instantly. “No, I’d rather be alone.”

Darcy mumbles something that Y/N can’t hear, probably to Monica. They have a silent conversation while Y/N waits for Darcy to answer her. “We’ll come over tomorrow.”

Knowing Darcy wasn’t asking her whether or not that’s okay, Y/N just hums in confirmation before saying her goodbyes and hanging up the phone. After throwing her phone somewhere to the table, she closes her eyes, ready to fall asleep.

“Hello!” She yells to the abyss, her voice echoing through the never ending emptiness. “Anyone there?” When Y/N’s only answer is her own voice bouncing back to her, she starts walking. At least she thinks she is walking. The space she’s in is pitch black, so Y/N wasn’t sure if she was moving anywhere.

Suddenly she starts falling. Y/N screams as her body flies down with no signs of stopping. She desperately tries to hold on to something, anything to stop her from falling, but to no avail. There’s nothing around her to grasp onto, only darkness and quiet apart from her screams.

A punch to the face changes her scenery. She groans, trying to lift her hand up to her face but gasping when she isn’t able to. Y/N’s eyes snap open in panic. She looks at her surroundings, noticing it’s the same room she was in not too long ago. However, now it was just a little more unsettling. She didn’t know what it was that made her feel so different from the real thing, nothing was visibly wrong. It just felt bad. Perhaps it was because she knew she was in a dream and she had gone through this already.

“Pay attention!” A very distorted voice shouts, punching Y/N to the face once again. She lifts up her head. The what’s supposed to be one of the men that hurt her definitely didn’t look like one. Its whole body was blurry and it moved to every direction. Its voice sounded like someone spoke through a broken megaphone, the voice cracking every now and then.

“What the fuck are you?” Y/N’s voice was a mere whisper compared to the creature.

The thing doesn’t answer, simply smirks, or at least it looks like a smirk. It starts walking around her, glitching when it takes a step forward. As it stops behind the chair, it sets a hand on top of Y/N’s head. She screams, all the pain she felt during that day going through her body in seconds.

Y/N screams as she sits up and looks around her, hands swatting away any remaining feelings of the thing. Her room is darker now, the clock being almost 11 pm. She stands up, runs downstairs and out the front door. This most likely isn’t the best idea, but Wanda did ask her if she wanted to stay at their place. If the question was genuine or not wasn’t clear to Y/N, but right now she’d like to think Wanda meant it.

She didn’t even know why Wanda and Natasha’s house was the first place she thought of. Maybe it was because she felt weirdly comforted by Wanda’s presence, or because they simply were the only people who know what happened.

Knocking on their front door, Y/N starts doubting herself. She almost turns around and leaves, but Wanda opens the door before she can.

“Hey, are you okay?” Wanda’s concern fills her ears. And so the waterworks start. Wanda gasps lightly, pulling Y/N into her arms as she sobs. She whispers sweet nothings to her ear while guiding her inside to sit on the couch. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Y/N leans more into Wanda, putting her head on Wanda’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She mumbles. “I couldn’t sleep, I just can’t be alone.” She sniffles, backing away from the hug as she tries to stop crying.

“That’s okay.” Wanda has a gentle smile on her face that melts Y/N inside.

The feeling makes her question everything. Why is she feeling this way? She met Wanda only a week ago. These kinds of feelings weren’t supposed to awaken so soon.

“What’s going on here?” Natasha, who neither of the two noticed coming in, asks.

Y/N looks down, letting Wanda take control of the situation. “She’s staying the night.” She says as if it was obvious, which makes Y/N frown. It wasn’t her plan to stay the whole night, not wanting to bother the two, but she isn’t opposed to the idea.

“Only if that’s okay.” Y/N adds, lifting her head to look at Natasha, who only glances at her before turning to Wanda. They seem to have a silent conversation going on. It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing for Y/N if they were talking telepathically, knowing Wanda did have some kind of powers.

Her eyes widen. Is she able to read minds? Has she ever read her mind?

Wanda pulls Y/N up from the couch, bringing her back to the present. “Come on. You seem tired.” She leads her upstairs to her room. “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the floor.”

“What? No, I can’t let you do that.”

Wanda smiles, taking Y/N’s hands to her own. “You’re my guest.”

Y/N stares at Wanda’s green eyes, finding herself mesmerised by them. They are beautiful, she could look at them all day. It feels like Y/N is transferred into a whole new world as she feels herself falling deeper into her gaze. Soon she starts relaxing her muscles, Wanda’s gentle smile and sparkling eyes bringing her comfort. Y/N glances at her lips, wondering if they are as soft as they look. Judging by Wanda’s widening grin, she is listening to her thoughts. Y/N averts her eyes back to Wanda’s.

“Go ahead.” Wanda says with a playful tint in her voice. Y/N frowns, making Wanda giggle. “Ask what you want to ask. I don’t mind”

She blushes, trying to drop her head down to look at the floor, but Wanda’s hand on her chin stops her. Wanda knowing what she wanted should have scared her more than it did, but right now she didn’t care.

Y/N gives Wanda a shy smile. “Can I kiss you?” She whispers. If Wanda hadn’t been so close to her, she would’ve missed it. When Wanda nods, Y/N pulls her closer and kisses her. Wanda sets her hands on Y/N’s waist, while her hands travel through Wanda’s hair.

Wanda pulls back, tightening her grasp on Y/N’s hips. Her eyes are a darker shade of green as she kisses Y/N again and again.

For the next two weeks Wanda and Y/N take it publicly slow, hiding whatever they have going on from their friends. Of course, Natasha being a literal spy, she caught on pretty quick. Not that the couple were that good at hiding it. Wanda spent a lot more time at Y/N’s house, sometimes even nights. Natasha wasn’t mad per se, Wanda was so much happier now, but she was hesitant. Dating someone outside of their field of job always proved to be difficult, no matter how many times one of them tried to have a successful relationship. It always failed one way or another.

Wanda didn’t want to think about that. She had heard a lot of dating horror stories from the other Avengers, but she knew she could make it work. She just needed to be careful and choose the best approach of telling Y/N what she really did. She already knew she had magic, that’s one difficult conversation out of the way, and she knew Wanda’s job is something dangerous because of the kidnapping. Not the way Wanda would’ve wanted Y/N to find out, but it’ll make the actual telling easier.

“I’m going to check up on Y/N!” Wanda tells Natasha as she opens the door. She had different excuses to tell Natasha. Checking up on Y/N, helping her cook or fix something, comforting her through hard times and so on. Sometimes they were true. Wanda did help Y/N during a nightmare or a difficult day many times after the unfortunate event.

Natasha hums, her eyes never leaving the television. “Make sure to check her neck better this time, it had quite many bruises on it last time.” Her voice was completely monotone, but she had the tiniest smirk on her face.

Wanda freezes, almost dropping the piece of cake in her hand. “I’m sorry?” She squeaks out.

“I’m just saying.” Natasha turns to look at Wanda. “You two are doing an awful job hiding the signs.”

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, so someone else must’ve done them. Or perhaps a mosquito, hair straightener, a match... I know all the tricks, Wanda.”

Wanda closes the door, sighing. “Fine, you’re right. What now?”

“That’s not up to me, it’s your call. Just be careful. These kinds of pairings don’t usually last.” Natasha didn’t want to be so pessimistic of their relationship, she has actually started liking Y/N, not that she’d ever let either of them know. She still wanted Wanda to know the hardships these kinds of situations brought into their lives. “Besides, we can’t live here forever, the mission is almost over, then we go back.”

“I know, Nat, I do. I’m not letting that stop me though, because I really want this to work.”

Natasha nods with a smile. “Then I’m rooting for you two.”

“Thank you.” Wanda’s smile returns to her face as she opens the door again. “Now, I’m going to go and spend some quality time with Y/N, don’t wait up.” She steps outside and closes the door, not waiting for Natasha’s answer. It would’ve been something witty.

Wanda knocks on Y/N’s door, feeling nervous. Natasha was right. Soon they’d have to go back to the Avengers compound and she couldn’t see Y/N whenever she wanted. It also meant going back to no contact missions. They could last months. Wanda didn’t want to disappear for months with Y/N having no way of knowing whether she was okay or not.

Y/N opens the door, but not with the excited look Wanda was waiting for. Her brows were furrowed and she looked almost angry. “Why didn’t you tell me you are an Avenger?”

[chirons-tail-curlers]

YALL ITS DARK ANNABETH HOUR

i was reading this fic (link at the end) by @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo and at the start it’s talking about annabeth being called to do more for olympus and annabeth not wanting to. and idek where this came from but imagine annabeth being wary of how trustworthy the gods actually are when it comes to promises, and this is a reach here, but what if she got some kind of god-bounding material or trap (like heras prison in tlh or artemis’ chains in ttc or zeus’s net in sosf👀) just in case there ever came a time the gods couldn’t be reasoned with. (also i feel like @stanning-reyna ‘s dark annabeth fic could fit in here lemme look for a link i’ll put it at the end [go read it if u want i rlly liked it!]) and so it could either be pre hoo when percys gone missing when she goes up there and just kinda, imprisons the gods and is like “listen here, hera. idgaf about this prophecy bs so give me my boyfriend back and we can pretend this never happened.” or “sorry, but i don’t remember ASKING to be born into a family of murdering, psychotic, blood thirsty immortals, and we definitely didn’t ask to fight in back-to-back wars. so how about you wait another 70 years and let this be someone else’s problem” ooh and “THAT IS IT HERA AS A GOD OF MENTAL ILLNESS HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT MORTAL PROBLEMS” *iris messaging thalia: ugh i honestly don’t see what the gods actually do for mortals yk? your dear old step-mother certainly is slacking amirite? talk about picking your family and throwing who you dislike off a literal cliff* (this got so off-topic omgs) OR OR OR AFTER THEY COME BACK FROM TARTARUS (and percy actually kept his promise to rip gaea limb by limb instead of whatever BoO was) (and this is defo me pushing my dark!percy agenda) but together our power couple of the millennium just go up there (backed by almost every non-immortal [and maybe even some immortals]) and just slay and the gods are like so confused as the thrones or smth grow shackles idk lmao and they implement a new and better system (like annabeths plans in “her future”) once again i honestly have no idea where this was going but this is why i shouldn’t be allowed to do anything after midnight

wait does any of this make sense oops-

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

yo!!! what are the rfas nighttime routines with mc?

Welcome back to another episode of ‘Sunny is drinking alone and decided to get her shit together and do some requests’ (I am a horrible influence, if you are under the drinking age please be responsible). Anywayyyy here ya go anon! I very well may read this back in the morning and edit it again but will let you know! <3

***

RFA nighttime routines with MC

Zen:

❤︎ Zen’s all about a pamper y’all

❤︎ he wants to stay looking fresh and healthy but bbygirl he also wants to make sure you’re well looked after

❤︎ is it even a nighttime routine if you don’t have an elaborate hour-long skincare regime?

❤︎ well yes Zen not everyone is as extra as you like you might as well be chewing gum

❤︎ if anyone actually gets that dumb joke then i am so sorry but also you get 10 points

❤︎ whilst i don’t imagine Zen to usually be that tired in the evenings, his muscles are always tired after a show/day of rehearsals

❤︎ so he would have a bath but he also gets home pretty late and doesn’t wanna faff around ya know?

❤︎ so shower it is

❤︎ oh you think that because he’s a grown ass man that he could be away from you for like 10 mins to shower on his own? well you thought wrong

❤︎ actual puppy

❤︎ sometimes it turns into ~sexy times~ but most of the time he just enjoys the intimacy/closeness and enjoys it when you take care of each other

❤︎ and boy when you shampoo his hair he literally turns to putty

❤︎ when you get out of the shower he L O V E S to do your hair

❤︎ king of braiding

❤︎ but he L O V E S it even more when you do his hair

❤︎ pretty sure you heard him purr once

❤︎ then he sneezed lmao

❤︎ you’re both pretty much out as soon as you get into bed but you always fall asleep in each others’ arms

❤︎ to conclude: nighttimes are about taking care of each other

Yoosung:

★ so this man FINALLY got his life together once you started dating

★ you helped him find his motivation and drive again so it’s actually a pretty production evening most of the time

★ your goal is to get everything done early on so you can relax properly later

★ soon as you both get home? homework/work straight away

★ you also try to make a habit of cooking dinner together every night

★ but you know how it is sometimes you just wanna order a takeaway and that’s chill too

★ do what you gotta do boo

★ once you’ve finished dinner aND DONE ALL THE WASHING UP (don’t you dare leave it until the morning Yoosung i see you), you play LOLOL together !!!!

★ he found that it was SO much more rewarding to play once everything he needed to do was done, and he didn’t have that horrible nagging guilt whilst he had down time

★ then all that’s left to do is get ready for bed !!

★ …

★ …Yoosung?

★ GO TO BED FOOL

★ “mC oNe MoRe gAme” “you said that an hour ago.” “i MeAn iT tHiS TiMe”

★ EVENTUALLY you drag him to bed but he’s always grateful when you do because he only realises how tired he is when his head hits the pillow

★ and he also gets  s n u g g l e s  so it’s always worth it

★ to conclude: nighttimes are productive but also relaxing

Jaehee:

☞ this poor woman works so hard

☞ even when she quits working for Jumin and you guys open the coffee shop, she still always pushes herself to the max

☞ ya girl gets tired

☞ so you know what that means

☞ BUBBLE BATH TIME

☞ some things only bubbles can heal

☞ wow what that’s so deep Sunny ah yes wasn’t it thank you Sunny aren’t i inspirational yes you are Sunny

☞ you two always go a but overboard with the bubbles lmao but this woman only deserves the best o K

☞ similarly to Yoosung’s, you guys like to get everything done that needs to be done before you relax, so once you get out of the bath you can do whatever ya want!!! how swell is that!!!!

☞ usually end up watching a movie/one of Zen’s musicals because why not hmm?

☞ Jaehee likes to get an early night, so y’all are all snuggled down and ready to sleep at a reasonable hour, ready for your shift in the morning

☞ on a serious note, this woman is pretty affection starved so you make it your MISSION to shower her with love before she falls asleep

☞ i’m talking kisses, cuddles, the whole shebang

☞ when you’re cuddling you like to have a good gossip about the RFA and all that and you always end up all giggly and it’s just the best

☞ to conclude: every night is like a teenage girly night in that she never got to experience

Jumin:

♚ although he doesn’t like to show it, he’s always exhausted after work

♚ he has a lot of pressure on him and he constantly has to be focussed and alert, so by the time he’s walking through the front door he’s running on very little energy

♚ therefore he appreciates a quiet night with the love of his life <3

♚ of course, every night you have a nice meal and a glass of wine W I N E and chat about your day

♚ Jumin has learnt to appreciate the smaller things in life after meeting you, so he adores listening to your voice as you talk about what you got up to that day during dinner

♚ you could be reading the phone book out loud for all he cared, he just loved listening to your voice

♚ he’s usually too mentally tired to do anything like reading in the evening, so most of the time you end up either watching a film or cuddling on the couch

♚ you have enlightened him to the concept of slouchy clothes

♚ yes, Jumin Han has learnt to appreciate joggers and a hoodies what about it?

♚ honestly just the sound of Elizabeth purring and your breathing is enough to bring his stress levels to 0

♚ he’s tried meditation, he’s tried mindfulness, but nothing was as healing as having you in his arms whilst you stroked his hair

♚ after you’ve done the essentials like showering and brushing your teeth and all that jazz, you get into bed and just talk

♚ normally you end up talking about your future, and he goes to sleep every night dreaming about the life you will have together, and then wakes up every morning excited to make that life a reality

♚ to conclude: nighttimes are for recovery and comfort

Saeyoung:

☀︎ honestly? every night is different lmao

☀︎ Saeyoung is a spontaneous guy, so no evening is the same when you’re with him

☀︎ which is amazing, because it keeps things exciting and fresh !!

☀︎ however, there are a few things that don’t change

☀︎ like fAMILY DINNER Y’ALL

☀︎ every. night. without. fail.

☀︎ it’s SO important to you guys that you have time to catch up with each other and make sure that Saeran feels a part of the family because sometimes he likes to hideaway and doesn’t know how to include himself

☀︎ so dinner time is the family bonding time, and then you go back to doing your own thing

☀︎ do you find brushing your teeth boring? do you wish you could make it more fun? do you have a energetic red-head in your life?

☀︎ well then LISTEN UP

☀︎ TEETH BRUSHING DANCE PARTY

☀︎ EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT.

☀︎ like is said, this man keeps you on your toes lmao

☀︎ is this a bathroom or a nightclub the world may never know

☀︎ did someone say cuddle monster??

☀︎ because that’s Saeyoung lol

☀︎ idek why but i always imagine Saeyoung to be very physically affectionate, and not necessarily in a ~sexy~ way

☀︎ he just really appreciates physical contact

☀︎ it grounds him and reassures him that you’re really there and really love him

☀︎ I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN IT’S A HUGE PROBLEM

☀︎ to conclude: every night is exciting and spontaneous, there’s never a boring night with Saeyoung

V  / Jihyun:

❁ V is also a man that appreciates a quiet night in

❁ he’s had so much chaos and drama in his life, that quiet domesticity is utter bliss to him

❁ evenings are typically spent in a companionable silence whilst you do your own thing

❁ reading, drawing, whatever! there’s just something so comforting to him about being with you, without even needing to talk

❁ music has become an VERY important part of your lives

❁ we all know that Jihyun is a man who appreciates the arts, and music is no exception

❁ he’s had a stressful day? he’s feeling overwhelmed? put on some soothing music and you can actually see the tension melt away

❁ always trying out new recipes for dinner

❁ most of the time they turn out delicious, but some are just complete abominations i am so sorry

❁ but really? it doesn’t matter because you made them together and you had a good laugh about them

❁ one thing that you recently started doing was reading together in bed

❁ and i don’t mean reading two separate books oh no no no

❁ i’m talking the same book

❁ what a plot twist

❁ every night you take in turns to read out loud to each other

❁ it takes a while to get through book this way, but it also mean that you both appreciate every damn word because how could you not when they’re coming from the literal love of your life??

❁ to conclude: nighttimes are spent in quiet bliss

Saeran:

☽ every evening begins with a walk

☽ it’s a must

☽ Saeran just l o v e s nature, and it’s the perfect start to a relaxing evening

☽ Saeyoung picked up on the fact that you both like evenings to be a calm time, so when you two get home he tries not to be too crazy

☽ but we all know this bitch is out of control so it doesn’t last long lol

☽ Saeran secretly finds it so entertaining but bless he would never admit it

☽ Saeran finds a pleasure in the ordinary

☽ he has never experienced ‘normal’, so he finds so much comfort in everyday activities such as washing up, cooking, setting the table…things like that

☽ he hasn’t had much time to form his own hobbies/interests, and is still experimenting to find things that he enjoys

☽ so he loves watching you do your hobbies

☽ it really doesn’t matter what it is, he just finds watching you concentrate on something you care about so fascinating

☽ often you will offer to teach him and share your interests, and his face always lights up when you do so

☽ this precious boi i cry

☽ he just loves to learn i C R Y

☽ when it comes to showering and all that, he prefers to do that alone

☽ don’t get me wrong, he adores you and cherishes every moment he spends with you

☽ but he’s easily overwhelmed and needs time to himself

☽ it’s also important to him that he’s able to care for himself, so something as simple as washing his face on his own helps him feel like he has some control

☽ to conclude: nighttime is the time for self-care and exploration

***

Thank you so much for the request, anon! I hope these were what you were looking for. Have a wonderful day💛

[hongism]

okay hi. so. first of all this incredible and stunning banner was made by the talented and lovely @hobiance​! the banner at the bottom was made by the equally talented and lovely thot @franklytae​, and i’m so so grateful to both of them for helping me out with this and am really touched to have their creations on this post. now. it is absolutely unreal that i am making this post. it’s crazy to see how my blog and i have grown in the past year and a half, and im so grateful for every single one of you who follows me, whether you are an active follower or not. also this is absolutely insane because in just six months you all have made my following nearly quadruple and that’s absolutely bonkers on so many levels. while 2020 has been tumultuous for us all, i cannot argue the fact that it has been my best year on tumblr so far. 

i have been able to meet so many fantastic people, grow friendships, grow my skills as a writer, gain confidence, and i have found friendships that are so treasured and valuable in so many ways. i’m really so so grateful for this platform and for the opportunity to share my work here with you all.

i really don’t know how to verbalize how i’m feeling because on one hand, followers are just a number and it’s unimportant in the long run. on the other hand i truly am grateful for every single one off you and i want you to know how grateful i am. but i really don’t want this to be about me because i really wouldn’t be on tumblr still without the people i’ve met along the way. through tumblr i have found lifelong friends who are beautiful inside and out and i will never stop being grateful to know them and walk this path alongside them. it’s truly a blessing and i feel so so lucky to get to know them. cue the ridiculously long tags of people whom i love and cherish so so much. i apologize in advance because no matter how many times i stare at this post and try to remember and get every single person who is valuable to me, i know i will inevitable forget someone so i am very very sorry if i miss anyone.

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓂𝓊��𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@hobicomeholla29 @thatmultifandomhoe @yoongi-sugaglider @strawbxxymilk @meowxyoong @blondenamjin​ @dee-ehn​ @a-tiny-8iny​ @atiny-dazzlinglight​ @atiny-piratequeen​ @atiny-wooyoung​ @kesmonster​ @theredcarat​ @enchantedyeo​ @seonghwabrainworms​ @jintobean​ @jinterlude​ @joonsrack​ @moonmintrails​ @inkedxclouds​ @koophoriia​ @kimcritique​ @moonpjms​ @daechwlta​ @suhdays​ @ppersonna​ @vivpurple7​ @ironicarmy​ @joopiterjoon​ @btsxdoll​ @btsbiaswreckedwriting​ @minniepetals​ @chillingtae​ @searchingtae​ @ladyartemesia​ @staerrylights​ and many others who i literally cannot for the life of me remember right when it’s important aoifdjjioejsoi some of you guys i only really talk to on discord, but i think that’s where i talk to people the most anyways. i know im really bad at following people so i may miss a few of you here and there, but know that our friendship through tumblr and discord is so valuable and important to me and im grateful for all of you 💕

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@yolokoo​ @franklytae

hhhhh you two little shits honestly i know i won’t be able to tell the two of you how much you mean to me because words are Hard. still i am so so lucky to know the two of you and so so lucky to be able to be friends with you two. y’all know i would swing so fucking hard for you that i would dislocate a shoulder but it would be worth in. i love you both so so much and know that no matter what paths we all take in life, i will always be here to support you and cheer you on along the way

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓀𝑒𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓇𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@hobiance @miamorjoon​

lainey within ten minutes of meeting you on discord i married you iajoidfoisdjfo. honestly that’s the boldest i’ve ever been, but i’m really grateful that i stepped out of my comfort zone and interacted with you because if not i would be missing out on such a crazy crackhead amazing friendship that’s filled with rats and roaches and annoying atlas bc we love her. sometimes it’s scary how similar we are but i love our late night crazy music sessions and your passion for cowboys 🐀🤠

atlas i honestly do Not remember how we met aoidjfoij pls don’t be offended i don’t remember how i meet anyone. i only remember meeting lainey because she reminded me of it the other day. but anyways i am super glad that we started talking because you’re one of tha craziest wackiest zackiest ladiez i’ve ever met and you really unleash the inner crazy in me (in a good way i swear). even though you tell me to shut up most of the time, you are seriously one of my fav writers out there and so knowing you and being your friend is seriously w o a h and a blessing for sure 🐀

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@jamaisjoons @honeymoonjin @ddaenggtan @cest-la-tae​ @bangtiddies​ @mygsii @mindays @luxekook @floralsuga 

oh god i hope im not forgetting anyone hhafhiuehisuda oKAY you each are super duper special to me in your own special way and i could sit here for literally hours and ramble on about how much i love each of you. the basic fact of the matter is that each of you have impacted me and my life in some way.

sol, sora, bette - i am so lucky to have been able to meet you and work alongside you and talk to you daily. it’s normally extremely hard to work with friends or make friends through work, but i got so lucky with you guys and am so blessed to get to talk to each of you and know you ((special thanks to sol for Obey Me and 7 demon daddies)) ((another special thanks to backbone bette for having the courage to speak up when no one else does)) ((one more super special thanks to miss sora who is the kindest and sweetest ball of uwu i’ve ever known and Stan the Man the Icon and the limbless basketball game story remains Iconic))

dAIJA gahhh im so lucky to know you, you are such a valuable and incredible friend. you have a huge heart and you’re always looking out for other people. as much as i love screaming about hyunjin and victon with you, i really love just getting to chat with you in general because you’re so sweet and loving :ragecry:

e m i omg i wish i could remember when we first started talking bc i feel like it was some crackhead energy but honestly i feel like we have that crackhead energy 24/7. i really love listening to your stories because you have such a knack for storytelling which duh of course you do you’re an actress you know how to tell a story, but also you are just fun and exciting to get to talk to.

renae my lovely spiritual girlfriend you are such a wholesome sweet soul on every level w o w you have a heart of gold and you are so talented and wonderful as well, truly the whole package and a half, and you are such a good friend. somehow i only recently found out that you’re a multi but having listening parties with you (even if discord doesn’t tell us we’re listening together) is so fun and i just love chatting with you

reese omg i dont appreciate how you attack me with jisung and hyunjin but we are linked because we both switched to jungkook urls aoijsdfoij you’re such a fun person to talk to and i love getting to talk to you more and getting to know you better because you’re so sweet and loving and have a love of tea that rivals emi’s and mine which is crazy

monday mondayyyyyyy omg i remember the first time we talked was in a kakao chat about the flower shop story and i was Shook because i loVE your works and you were talking about how you liked mine and i was internally p a n i c k so bad ajflkjflk but after that we started getting to know each other better and we started the bee gang then we bonded over piercings and honestly you are just such a cool gal. like wow a queen. idek what else to say other than you are so cool i wish i was half as cool as you asoifjiof but really ily lots uwu

and last but really absolutely not least, mr. beau. wow i feel like it’s been such a long time since we met and started talking to each other. you were one of the very first people i talked to on tumblr, and you welcomed me so swiftly and with open arms. i know i can really rely on you and trust you, you are such a valuable friend, and i love being able to talk with you. i am so beyond proud of you, i know both alex and i are so so proud and happy for you, and i am so proud to be able to watch you grow into the person you are and deadass im crying rn just because im so proud and lucky to have been able to talk with you and help you. you know things about me that no one else does hehe and you are truly such a valuable and wonderful friend on so many levels. i will always always always be able to say that i am proud to be your friend and proud to know you 🤧

[deepiphany]

“When I close my eyes, it's you there in my mind”

“Why do I pull you close and then ask you for space?”

✿8 LETTERS✿

Jennifer pushed her back to prevent them to fall in her face. Today was a long day. She had to stay back in Uni to complete an assignment as she had completely forgot about and if she hadn't turned it in today itself, she couldn't have been able to pass the semester. As she had turned in the due assignment and looked at her watch, she had thought, 'I'm... Doomed!!! RUN!'. She was late for her work.

She had to work extra hours than what her shift was to compensate for being late. On normal days, her work place manager would have let her off the hook since she was always quite punctual but since she worked in a food place and since it was weekend, there was too much crowd and they often needed more employees than usual to handle everything smoothly.

She smiled sadly as she realised that there won't be anyone worrying about her going home late since she lived alone. She didn't have a boyfriend who would occasionally check on her either. All her friends were just as busy as she was so she didn't expect anything from them.

On her way out of the 'Staff Only' room which she had been in for the past ten minutes for a quick rest, she collided with someone near the exit.

"Oh I'm sorry." She apologized quickly. "I wasn't looking—" she looked up at the person standing in front of her and paused. "Oh, Cameron!"

She knew Cameron since the day she had joined here. He was pretty easy to get along with as he was very charming, friendly and out going. They worked together for a few months and then their shifts never overlapped again after her Uni started. She had started missing him a lot, unaware of the fact that she might've developed a little spot in her heart for him.

"It's alright." He smiled at her. "I need to go though, kinda in a hurry. Let's catch up with each other later!" He said as he began walking in the direction of the Kitchen.

"Works with me." Jennifer yelled loud enough for him to hear as he had already stepped inside the kitchen by then.

'Alright. You can pull through! Only a few minutes left until I'm free!' She thought to herself as she looked at the clock.

She worked diligently no matter how hard it was on her until the last minute of her shift. She wondered how all these people went out like this on such a cold night. It was the start of winter and everyone were wearing coats or sweaters and gloves to warm themselves up. Sadly for Jennifer they didn't have a warm uniform so she occasionally had shivers run down her spine everytime the door opened and the cold wind blew right by her side.

She smiled merrily when the clock ticked to terminate her working hours for that day and quickly removed her apron as she made her way towards the changing room.

She changed quickly in her regular clothes and put on some warm clothes over then. As soon as she got out as she started looking for Cameron. She would be lying if she said she wasn't excited to spend some time with him after all these months.

She searched for him everywhere but to no vail. He couldn't be found anywhere. She pouted sadly as she thought he might've been too tired and had forgot about her. He might've just went straight home.

She sighed as she left her working building and started walking towards her appartment on the sidewalk. It was pretty late so there was no one to be seen on the road. Buses had stopped running so she had no choice but to just walk.

A long time had passed until she sensed someone's presence behind her. She heard someone's footstep's walking in the same pace as she was.

At first she thought that it might be someone innocent. But she got a little taste of fear when that person seemed to take the exact same turns as her at intersections.

'It's okay. They might be living in the same area as mine.' She consoled herself.

She licked her lips nervously when the footsteps started to speed and could be heard closer and closer to her.

'No! This isn't it!' She started running for her dear life.

"Whoever you are! Just back off! I have a weapon on me!" She tried to threaten them with wavering voice.

"Jennifer!" They called out her name making her halt in tracks. "It's me— ouch!"

They hadn't expected her to stop all of a sudden and bumped their nose on the back of her head.

"Cameron!" She whipped around with anger evident in her voice. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I was worried about you, okay?" He said as he rubbed his nose with his hands to lower the pain that he felt. "No need to raise your voice at me like this. It's just that it's quite late so I wanted to accompany you."

Her anger quickly dissipated upon listening to his words. "Oh Cameron..." She said with a small smile on her lips.

"Also, I've been wanting to say something..." He trailed off as both of them began walking together.

"Shoot." Jennifer said as her veins filled with thrill. She knew where this was going. Finally she was going to see the day she had been waiting for!

"You know me the best, you know my worst, seen me hurt, but you don't judge, that, right there, is the scariest feeling..."

"W-what are you talking about?" She said, completely taken aback. 'I don't know anything about you except for the small time we spent together working!' she thought to herself.

"Opening and closing up again I've been hurt so I don't trust. Now here we are, staring at the ceiling." He continued to say.

"We're on a road... Staring at a lamp post..." She said as she made a weird face. What the hell was going through Cameron's mind?

"Isn't it amazing?" He said as he took her hands in his, making her blush a little. She was thankful that it was winter so she already had redness on her cheeks making it hard to notice her blushing.

"How almost every line on our hands align, when your hand's in mine—"

"We're literally wearing gloves right now, idiot!" She frowned at him.

"It's like I'm whole again. Isn't that a sign? I should speak my mind?" He asked her.

She pulled her hand out of his grip with force. "What the hell are you talking about, Cameron? If you're here to play decipher the cryptogram then I'm sorry I don't have time for your BS. Leave me alone if this is what you wanted to do!" She began walking away from him.

"All it is...is... eight letters..." He stammered. "So why is it so hard to say?"

She halted in her steps and gulped in anticipation. Was he going to say the exact same thing that she had imagined?

"What eight letters are you talking about?" She turned around to ask him and walked closer to him to hear him clearly.

"I— I. Uh... I don't know how to say it... I— I'm sorry..."

She smiled kindly towards him. "It's okay," she said. "I won't make fun of you. No one would know what you say to me now." She took his hands in hers.

"B... BUTTOCKS!" He finally managed to say.

"What the hell?" She pushed his hands away from her, making Cameron stumble backwards. "Are you freaking crazy? What do you expect me to say?" She felt so offended at his words. "IDIOT!" She yelled. "You don't know anything!"

"Then what do you want me to say!? What should've I said, huh!?" He yelled back at her in frustration.

"It's so freaking easy, you idiot!" She sighed in frustration.

"FARTFACE!"

___________________________

I know! I know that I raised everyone's expectations by adding some image aesthetics (that I totally didn't rip off of Pinterest) and lyrics aesthetics in the beginning but then you scroll towards the end and see "FARTFACE" and just wonder what happened here O_o

Ugh idek what happened here it's all because I couldn't get this out of my head when writing this—

[my screenrecorder sucks at recording good quality audio bare with me :)]

“It isn't cute nor is it funny, I've written a cursed story” — Dee; December 2020

I KNOW I WON'T GET ANY STORIES REQUESTS NOW AND IT'S OKAY I UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD NOT WANT TO ASK ME TO WRITE ANYTHING FOR THEM(ᗒᗩᗕ)

[fallingfromdepression]

10/28/2020

writing this in the middle of a class session per usual, but we’re going over a midterm exam from monday that we had 24 hours to work on and turn in. and well guess who’s the person who didn’t even LOOK at the midterm until around 9-10pm my time (it was due at 11am my time) so I pulled an all-nighter to do it ... anyway listening to the professor and some students discuss the midterm answers during this class session and i’m like LMAO ... i am so fucked because while my thoughts may be in the right direction, my answers were definitely not as developed bc 1. i literally worked on it in the wee hours of the night when my brain is basically shut down and 2. I have only been watching lectures and not doing ANY of the readings. and the latter point is important bc legit the last midterm question most ppl apparently referenced the latest class reading we were supposed to have done and i just said some underdeveloped bullshit not referencing anything.

i mean i’m fucked for all of my classes basically bc i’ve been putting off doing all work. i’m behind on like 2-3 lectures in one class, i have a midterm essay due friday that i haven’t even STARTED thinking abt or working on at all (only 2 pages tho so i’m not AS fucked as i could be), and i have a graded discussion for this class above that closes tmr that i still haven’t added to bc 1. i still haven’t finished the reading and 2. ppl be writing goddamn ESSAYS and also seem to know shit and i’m just like idk anything at all. and like i see all this and i’m like ok i need to take time to work on it but yet i just be on twitter and youtube and IG basically 24/7 not doing work even when deadlines creep and eventually barrel closer.

i mean part of it is anxiety, i’m too nervous to do it bc i know i won’t get it done perfectly (bc i haven’t been doing any readings and shit) so i just put it off and then end up having to submit crap anyway. but part of it is just me being a fucker bc i’ve managed to scrape by the last 2-3 yrs with this bare minimum mentality so theoretically i can do it again for this next year but the issue is now it’s starting to show in my grades bc before i could manage A-B grades but now it’s going into lower B-C range aka actually reflecting my lack of motivation and low quality of work. and also i’m getting no sleep so maybe that’s impacting the number of brain cells i can rub together for warmth. i just don’t feel motivated to do work even when the deadline is breathing down my neck, and i get easily distracted/lose focus when i’m actually attempting to do the work. idk if it’s unaddressed adhd cropping up more (context i’ve never officially been diagnosed with it but i’ve been reading cases of ppl struggling with adhd suddenly in higher edu situations lately and it just sounds a lot like what’s going on with me) or if it’s me with shit health habits. i’m not even motivated to do things i feel like i’d enjoy doing, like art projects or whatever idek. i’m just going by each day scrolling through twitter and IG uselessly, watching youtube videos when i should be doing schoolwork or actual work at my part-time job, and feeling miffed abt the state of affairs and the world yet doing nothing abt it (like volunteering or reading up on theory or etc).

starting to think maybe i seriously do need to see a therapist. i feel scared of saying all this bc i literally put myself in this situation and i don’t really want to hear a therapist telling me what i already know aka i need to do the work to get out of this hole, it’s not all gonna get solved by continuing to bury my head in the sand. but since i don’t have any close friends or friends in general to talk about this with, and i don’t really want to unload on my sibling or academic advisor... i really need to get an outlet to just spill all this out and maybe get a new, fresh view on it. the thing abt therapy is tht it feels exhausting to have to do multiple intakes to try to find the right therapist though ... i just want the first one to be good for me and then go from there. i did one intake sometime last year and that therapist was aight so honestly maybe i should just go with her for now so at least i got SOMEONE... god getting it all down makes me realize how fucked and unhinged i am fr. i didn’t mean for these diary entries to be like this but my academics are so tied up with my mental health so it makes sense.

[mental-health-advice]

Submissions from 🦚🌺

So took me a while to scroll through to my last tagged ask (for some reason searching didn’t work). So much about staying consistent and actually tagging my stuff from now on. Gosh uff. The one where sibling found possible drugs and the one about mom being xenophobic almost causing shut down as in passing out were me too. I usually either tend to forget to tag or I guess am kinda scared since I feel I send in A LOT? I really don’t know. It’s just a lot going on and I feel bad always (1🦚🌺)

I feel bad always throwing all my stuff at my friends. Especially as one friend a few years ago was diagnosed with depression. Idk what her current situation is tho except that she seems to do better. I won’t ask her since I feel weird about that stuff. Plus really unless she wants to tell me it’s none if my business. But yeah that’s that I guess. Now… I’ve been rejected from the art college/highschool unfortunately so that’s out the window. My therapist suggests volunteer year 2🦚🌺

Whivh we have a social and economic one of I think? Idk. I know social won’t work because of my likelyhood of social anxiety which kinda self explanatory I guess. Economic I’m just scared I wont be able to pull the whole tear through, scared to do stuff wrong etc. Hell I spent 2 low sleep nights crying after the rejection and mom forced the answer out of me when I clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Turned into an argument about how I got forced into abitur/regular highschool 3🦚🌺

And OBVIOUSLY she blames dad for it. Which like… great whatever he told her. My point is HE was more supportive in front of ME than she was. She just tore me down 2 years ago. Next week I dont have a therapist appointment since she will be moving. So I’m praying this week will go by smoothly. Well as smooth as it can go with all the arguments around here I guess. I’m still trying to process everything since March 4🦚🌺

1? 2? I’ve lost track of time … weeks ago she and her bf fought very badly and she essentially ran away for an hour, he claimed he is leaving but then stayed. My younger sisters were all crying, my brothers were just not surprised and I had to try call family members (which calling others is a physical challenge for me) trying to find a way to deal with what happened. My therapist knows about this incident. She now also knows moms bf smokes weed but not about what 5🦚🌺

else we found. I’ll see if I can bring it up soonish since it still worries me… my brother also later confirmed again he caught them snorting it so yeah most likely we are right about it being cocaine. I feel uncomfortable looking up the effects of it but my cousin said that could explain a lot of moms behavior. Shes always been this way I think.I right now dont even remember where I was going with this ask chain hhhh frick.I’m loosing track of myself once again please send help 6🦚🌺

(Have to switch to browser because app again refuses to let me send stuff wtf) My mom also is back onto “oh you just have split personality!” … I have informed myself on DID and OSDD, I have symptoms yes. But I doubt it’s that. In fact my therapist even talks about that stuff with me! I have different parts but mom doesn’t know they exist so idk. I tried to literally tell her how DID is made and she didn’t want to listen. She claims she did almost everything right and I’m making up 7🦚🌺

My trauma. So you would think that she would stay away from assuming such a trauma heavy diagnosis. Welp she actually doesn’t know anything about mental health either way and legit took my brother off his adhd meds years ago because “they changed him too much” and then refused to take him to appointments when we noticed signs of tourette in him because she felt like she fucked up as parent?? Wat?? I can’t make sense of this woman anymore tbh 8🦚🌺

Sorry that this is all over the place, it’s 1am for me rn, I cant sleep really, still am trying to process I won’t see my friend who I was looking forward to seeing this year for 2-3 years and who would have been a temporary escape from this hellhole until at least another year or 2 depending on the situation, being in the top 10 corona countries and in fact second most infected state in germany and really just switching between sliding down to a kid and /or almost passing out 9(?)🦚🌺

almost passing out when trauma responses shut me down and I just can not describe my emotions of the past months other than I just want someone to hug me and to feel safe and to feel like this mess at home and the world isn’t happening. My mind is all over the place and I feel like at this point I’m going insane and I’m not making any sense anymore. Again sorry for the probably stupid rant/,vent that probably made no damn sense idek anymore - final🦚🌺

So much about what I sent in yesterday hoping for the best. 3 hours ago I woke up to a message chain about how we (me and my siblings. We are 6 in total) apparently abuse her and use her. And basically just complaining about the tiniest things regarding chores. For example yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen and she complained because some dishes stood around since people still ate AFTER I did the chores. Like tf. My friends say it seemed like from the screenshots that she is 1🦚🌺

using us as tools? Idek anymore. She also completely ignored me sending her and asking her stuff about the valounteer year last night since the school rejected me and I need that alternative. Apparently a clean flat is more important than my literal future. On the other hand I for once had a normal conversation with my almost 15yo brother (I’m almost 19, however not mentally and also not in the position to move still especially with the virus and all) and it turned out that he shares 2🦚🌺

Moms views on therapy whivh I’ve mentioned in the past aren’t really the best views on it. So yeah that’s just great. He basically just thinks it’s stupid. Either way. Currently my only way of possibly getting away would be a psychiatric /mental hospital stay. THING IS while I’m bety aware it isnt like in the movies I am deadly afraid of the thought. Not having my freedom to come and go when I please, not being able to meet up with friends or something etc. I would not feel safe and 3🦚🌺

it would just expose me to a lot of stress and anxiety which wouldn’t be any better than being yelled at constantly at home and having mom shit talk my friends. Everything is just kinda a mess with her rn and my siblings don’t see it from my perspective. Like YES we mess up and don’t do things right. She has a reason to be mad. But NO she doesn’t have the tight to essentially abuse us and no her behavior isnt parenting this is manipulation. 4🦚🌺

They only see the first half and think she’s in the right… I myself struggle to differentiate right and wrong and am unable to read situations well, which is why it took me 17-18 years and my friends calling it out to realise this is wrong. But I at least listen… they don’t. I sometimes just wish I grew up in a stable functioning family. Or honestly that she never even had me since she was VERY young when she had me so that’s probably why she never learned how to 5(?)🦚🌺

Act properly towards us. As she had me when she was just my age (18) and then the following 8 years had 4 more of my 5 siblings. I feel she never had time to grow up and learn herself especially considering she was abused herself…. final🦚🌺

Hi 🦚🌺, 

It's good to hear from you again! There's absolutely nothing wrong with messaging us often, so feel free to tag all of your asks that you send in! I think that will actually make it easier on both of us, as you'll be able to find responses easier and I can look back on your previous asks easier to make sure I'm not missing anything or repeating myself :) Also, the search function on tumblr is quite picky, so unfortunately it can be hard to find posts. I've run into the same issue with locating old asks on the blog as well! 

It's understandable that you don't want to bug your friends with your problems, especially if they have some mental health struggles of their own. However, it might help to think of it this way: mental illness is so common that chances are most people you meet will have some sort of struggle with their mental health, which means you wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about your struggles if you don't want to bother someone who struggles with their mental health. That doesn't seem fair to you! While everyone needs to have boundaries, especially to protect their health, I think it's reasonable to share things with your friends when you're struggling. You deserve that support, especially with everything else you have going on in your life! 

It must have been devastating to not get into art school and I'm so sorry that happened! It does sound like volunteering could be a potential route for you to go down, even if it's just until you figure out what you want to do in the future. It makes sense that certain volunteer options can be rolled out based on the nature of the work and the things you struggle with. Perhaps there is something you could do from home that wouldn't trigger your anxiety. For instance, I volunteer for a text-based suicide hotline, which I do from home. I'm not saying you have to do something exactly like this, but it might spark an idea that you or your therapist maybe haven't thought of yet. It's just something to think about. 

What's going on with the drugs in your house is definitely concerning and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your therapist. It's really dangerous to have these kinds of drugs around with younger kids being there. Not only is it possible for kids to accidentally get into it and harm themselves, but it's also dangerous for them to be around adults that are high because of their erratic behaviors. This is why I think it would be wise to talk to your therapist about this to see what input she has. 

It's great that your therapist has talked to you about your diagnoses as well as what you don't have that your mom has tried to say you have. I'm sure it's frustrating to have your mom make those accusations, but I think it's good that you at least have your therapist there to reassure you that you don't in fact have those diagnoses. 

It's so disappointing that your friend won't be able to visit as you guys had planned because I know you were really looking forward to that! Unfortunately, coronavirus seems to ne ruining plans for most people all over the world. Hopefully you guys will be able to come up with another plan for meeting up, though it likely won't be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. Still, at least making tentative plans for meeting in the future may give you both something to look forward to once travel is finally safe again. 

I'm so sorry that your mom treats you and your siblings this way. It does sound like she may use you guys as tools, as your friends put it. This is sometimes another sign of abuse/neglect, which honestly isn't surprising considering all of your mom's other behaviors.

What you mentioned about getting out of the house makes sense and I agree that an inpatient stay might not be the best way to go about it. Not only will that be more restrictive, as you mentioned, but most hospitals won't allow inpatient stays unless the person is incapable of keeping themselves or others safe while receiving outpatient care (though I obviously don't know whether this is the case for you). I still think it's a good idea to keep thinking about potential ways of getting out of your mom's house once you're ready for that. One option I'm wondering about is a group home (I think these may be called something else in other countries but it's basically a house where several adults with varying physical and/or mental illnesses live together and there are usually various types of staff who also stay there). These can sometimes be a bit restrictive, but much less so than a hospital would be. I believe they typically have a curfew, otherwise you're allowed to leave during the day. Although I'm not sure if this would be a viable option for you (and it probably wouldn't be anyway until after the pandemic is more controlled), it's just something that popped into my head when thinking about other ways of eventually getting you away from your mom's abuse.

What you said about your mom's parenting vs. manipulation is 100% accurate. It's very common for someone who was abused by parents to go on to abuse their own children unless they put in the effort to change, but know that you still don't deserve to be abused and manipulated. It's not your fault that your mom was abused and never unlearned the negative behaviors she saw experienced as a child. You and your siblings all deserve so much better than this! 

-Samantha 

[forehead-enthusiast]

A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)

tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah

tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)

One:

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu

Two:

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss

2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now

3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me

4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo

5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,

6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 

7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!

8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.

9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing

10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?

my questions:

what is your go-to feel good movie?

are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?

do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?

what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)

do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?

what do you do to unwind?

what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)

what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?

what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?

do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 

PERSONAL

name: sarah

nickname: bells

birthday: april 17th

zodiac: aries

nationality: chinese american

languages: english, some spanish, some korean

gender: female

sexuality: baby bi bi bi~

height: 5′10

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops

meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.

blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think

followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol

FAVORITES

favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins

favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD

favourite colour: pink and purple!!

favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)

favourite flower: sunflower

favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria

favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly

cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate

current time: 5:29pm

dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?

dream job: actress

hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics

hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?

last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)

last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9

no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2

random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength

SIX

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

love me 4 me- rina sawayama

cherry- rina sawayama

in & out- red velvet

crush culture- conan gray

manic- conan gray

the king- conan gray

summer- pentagon

told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)

fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama

someone who loves me- sara bareilles

[cool-beans-scully]

Sick (Natasha Romanoff x reader )

Summary: You’re sick and refuse to rest, Natasha is prepared.

Warnings: A few curse words, reader is kinda high off pain meds

A/N: Idek where I was going with this just that it was a literal fever dream I had when I was sick, probably because I was rewatching Parks and Rec and Marvel movies. Also there’s not really that much romance it’s more pining because I’m a sucker for pining.

Word Count: 1152

The alarm clock beeped angrily at you, wincing you rolled over hitting the snooze button and promptly falling back asleep. Five minutes later—though you swore it had only been seconds—the alarm blared again. This time you grabbed the alarm clock and hastily threw it across the room shattering it easily, the incessant beeping finally stopping. You’d buy another one soon, but for now you simply pulled the blankets tighter around you and fell back asleep.

Meanwhile in the training room Natasha was just about to start her warm ups when JARVIS spoke. “Ms. Romanoff, I feel the need to inform you Ms. Y/L/N’s body temperature is currently at 102 and slowly yet steadily rising. I suspect she has a cold, what would you have me do?”

Natasha picked up her water bottle, “Nothing, thank you JARVIS. Where is she?”

Reluctantly you got up and dressed, despite the pounding in your head, your sore throat, and the fact that you were freezing. A knock on the door brought your attention away from your miserable state and you finished pulling on the sweatshirt. “Come in!” Your voice didn’t comply instead coming out as a whimper, that didn’t resemble your own.

Luckily whoever was knocking understood and let themselves in, you turned to see Natasha entering. She took in your red nose, tired eyes, and messy hair. “You look like crap.”

“I feel like crap.” You admitted bluntly, nodding along.

A shiver ran down your spine and you hugged your arms around yourself. “Is that my sweatshirt?”

“Nooo?” She narrowed her eyes jokingly, you relented. “Maybe, but it’s actually technically Steve’s which you stole and I stole from you. So I don’t know if you can lay any claim to it.” All the talking made your throat hurt and you erupted into a coughing fit.

“I told you you were going to get sick if you stayed in the snow all day.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, when you caught your breath. “And I told you, I didn’t care if I got sick I hadn’t seen snow in forever and I was going to play in it. Besides I’m not sick.”

She moved closer placing the back of her hand on your forehead, she frowned instantly. “You’re burning up. Sit down.” Complying, you took a seat on the edge of the bed, Natasha asking JARVIS to take your temperature.

“Approximately 104.1, Ms. Romanoff.”

“104.1? Y/N you're dehydrated, I'm taking you to the med-bay.”

You stared at her glassy and wide eyed, before answering raspily. “If I was sick could I do this.” Natasha watched as you sat there not moving, barely blinking.

“What are you doing?”

“Cartwheels...Am I not doing them?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

She dragged you to the med-bay easily, you stayed there for the next two hours, before Natasha was satisfied that you were better—or at least weren’t delirious with fever. The two of you walked back to your room, they had given you morphine and the effects were already taking its toll on you.

The red head watched as you skipped about, singing. “Jingle bells, Hawkeye smells. Rudolph laid an egg, something something…” You abruptly stopped, before turning to Natasha. “What time is it?”

“Around noon. Why?

“I have a meeting in an hour, I have to get ready!” Suddenly you bounded towards your room, Natasha taking off after you.

“Y/N! You are not going to that meeting!”

She caught up as you were changing, she stopped in the doorway crossing her arms. “What are you doing?”

“That medicine really helped. I feel a thousand percent better. Good as new.” You pick up a pair of pants, wrapping it around your neck like a scarf. “Does this scarf look okay? I don't wanna look stuffy but I also don't wanna look too schlubby.”

“Get back in that bed.”

“So no to the scarf?”

“Get back in the bed.”

“No, I'm going to that meeting!”

“Either you get back in the bed or I will strap you down, I've done it before, don't test me!”

Reluctantly you climb back into bed, she smiled triumphantly. “I will tell Steve and he’ll handle the meeting. Meanwhile you are going to sleep, I’ll come back with some soup and we can watch Christmas movies, alright?”

You nodded, stifling a yawn. “Alright, thanks Nat.”

She brushed hair out of your face and you smiled sleepily up at her, “Anything for you.” She muttered to quell the surge of affection, knowing you were too out of it to remember later.

As soon as she left you jumped out of bed and finished getting dressed, deciding against the scarf. The meeting was being held three floors below, somehow you managed to make it there without running into Natasha.

Walking into the boardroom, Steve was already looking through a few documents. “Steve Rogers! Hello!” He looked up confused, you smiled. “Good to see you!”

“You too…”

Sticking out your hand, Steve stares at it baffled considering you saw him just earlier this morning, nonetheless he shook your hand. “Wow you're really burning up.”

“Debatable. So ready for the meeting?”

“Y/N, Nat told me that you’re sick, don’t worry I’ve got the meeting handled. You should get some sleep.”

“Yeah no Nat lied, I’m not sick. Oh boy hold on...be careful.”

“What?”

“The floor and the wall just switched.”

“...Okay.”

“Walk very carefully.” Slowly you stepped closer to one of the chairs while swaying, once you sat down however you relaxed.

“What the hell, Y/N?” The voice dangerously close to threatening, you turned to see Natasha glaring at you standing in the doorway. “You’re going to bed.” She stated and scooped you up easily, it’s times like these that you remembered that nearly all of your friends could bench-press you if they wanted. “I told you to stay in bed and that Steve has the meeting handled, but no.” She scolded, carrying you back to your room. You were only half-listening as you rested your head in the crook of her neck, already dozing off.

Laying you down, she pressed the back of her hand on onto your forehead. “I think your fever broke.” You hummed in response, she took a seat on the edge of the bed and motioned to the bowl on your nightstand. “Now eat your damn soup.”

Between spoonfuls you asked, “What movie do you wanna watch?”

“It’s A Wonderful Life, Elf, The Nightmare Before Christmas...whatever you want.”

“Nope you have to choose.”

“Fine.”

She started The Nightmare before Christmas and made herself comfortable on the other side of the bed, as you finished your soup.

Halfway through the movie you found yourself laying horizontally in bed with your head resting in Natasha’s lap as she absentmindedly combed through your hair, neither of you were entirely sure how you ended up like that but you definitely weren’t complaining.

[doozie97]

Genderfluid!Superhero Marc Anciel Headcanon

As conflicts escalate and the guardian of the Miraculouses is lost, Marinette is entrusted with the Miracle Box. She wonders if the jewelry would be safer from Hawkmoth and his steadily growing legion of villains if scattered and left under the care of trusted individuals, rather than kept together to be captured all at once in the worst case scenario. Plus, Ladybug could use the extra help. (If we’re assuming Marinette would choose all of her classmates because they’re the only people she can trust, I think Ladybug would find a way to contact and choose a small handful of heroes at a time. That way, when an Akuma attacks, Ms. Bustier’s class doesn’t suddenly all have to go to the washroom at once). Ladybug meets all the potential holders individually to give them their Miraculouses, rather than running back home in the middle of battle to pass them out one at a time.

Marc would be given the goat horn earrings, highlighting his parallels with Marinette, and mirroring his black and white colour scheme as Reverser. (Assuming these things are supposed to be earrings, idek)

The day Ladybug walks up to Marc Anciel and entrusts him with protecting the Miraculous of the Goat is one he’ll never forget. He was so unbelievably honoured that Ladybug, his idol and muse, would bestow someone like him of all people with such a sacred responsibility.

He’s especially relieved Ladybug wasn’t upset or creeped out by the comics he made with Nathaniel where he basically shipped her with one of her former adversaries. Secretly, having Ladybug as the protagonist was a scapegoat for his self-insert fanfics that indulge both his desire to be just like the powerful lady superhero, as well as his shameless crush on the Evillustrator. Which, by extension, includes his soft spoken civilian counterpart. Marc will take this fact to the grave.

When the Goat Kwami pops out of the box, Marc curls in on himself and let’s out a dying whale noise, because she’s just. SO. CUTE. His Kwami curls up into his big red hood when they travel together.

Marc and his Kwami quickly learn to love talking to each other and exchanging stories. The Goat Kwami enjoys the writer’s endless creativity and romanticism in his stories. While Marc is enraptured by the tales of previous owners and the true accounts of various historical events, making him just as knowledgeable about Kwamis and the Miraculouses as Alya after she shoots Trixx a million questions. He also learns a few things not even the original three holders are aware of, including how Kwamis can also disguise their owner’s voice if asked. “You guys never talked to your Kwamis about these things? You are carrying around literal GODS among men who’ve been around for millions of years in your pockets, and you don’t want to know everything about them?”.

In Marc’s room they spend hours together working out plot holes or inconsistencies with some of the writer’s original works or his trashiest fics he can’t bring himself to show Nathaniel. Though, most of the time it entails Marc solving the problems himself while his Kwami sits back and listens, devouring pretzels and other salty snacks.

Ladybug isn’t the only girl Marc admires. He feels the same way about Marinette, but he is also envious of her. She’s a fantastic friend and leader figure, and even got the attention of Nathaniel once. Marinette is everything Marc wants to be, but just can’t.

In the art room, Juleka, Rose, and sometimes Alix model for Marinette’s clothes. Marc helps takes photos, and the Goat Kwami ends up seeing them. He secretly wants to try on her designs, but is too afraid to ask, worrying that his friend would think it’s weird for a boy to request such a thing. His Kwami doesn’t really understand Marc’s hesitation, because while Kwamis use male and female pronouns when referring to each other, gender is still just another human social construct to them, and he thinks Marc would look great in a dress or a frilly hat. Those words meant a lot to him. (This headcanon is also accepting the idea that Kwamis use the same gender pronouns of their latest owners, since not all languages have gender-neutral pronouns.)

This conversation happens before all the heroes meet up to introduce each other. Ladybug recommends to everyone to decide on their hero persona in advance, from hero name to their very mannerisms and behaviours. “Become an entirely different person” she says. When the heroes meet up, Ladybug is pleasantly surprised to meet a goat themed super-heroine, with a female voice and all. “I just figured no one would question why Marc and a girl superhero are never around at the same time…you don’t think it’s weird, do you?” “Not at all!”

I can’t for the life of me think of a good french goat pun, but one hero name I thought of is ‘Silene‘, which is the genus of flowers whose petals look like goat hooves, and apparently represents ‘Youthful Love’ in flower language. It’s also a combination of the name Silenus, god of the Satyrs, and Selene, the moon goddess who was seduced by Pan. It was either that or “Panic”. “Pan….ic. Panic. Get it? Because I’m panicking on the inside”.

Joining the Art Room has allowed Marc to express his real sense of humor and show off some of his true colours, but it’s only when he is in his heroine persona that he feels safe enough to fully express his adoration for cute boys. Silene also adopts a much more ‘do no harm, take no bull’ attitude than Marc normally has. He’s dealt with a lot of things in the past before transferring to Collège Françoise Dupont, and quite frankly he’s tired of being pushed around.

One day Marc would tell the Goat Kwami about his crush on a boy in his class. Since “having a crush” is an expression that began in the late 1800s and the zodiac Kwamis haven’t had masters in centuries, he has no clue what Marc is talking about. “You want to CRUSH him? Have you tried using a boulder?” (English has too many idioms, man.)

Marc has to explain to him that having a crush means when you really really like someone and feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with them. The goat Kwami interprets this as something like how he feels towards the Horse Kwami (who just so happens to be under the ownership of a certain artistically talented redhead). Marc’s Kwami feels saddened by the fact that he likely won’t see his lifelong companion again until Nooroo and Duusu are retrieved, which is when Marc and all the other holders will have to give up their Miraculouses.

Over time, Marc becomes more open about himself, even in his civilian form, and becomes a better person because of his time as a Miraculous holder. Unlike with Ladybug and Chat Noir, neither Sirene or Marc is the mask. Both are very real to him. It’s just that Marc has to learn to be honest that both sides of him are valid. When it’s time for the two to separate, the Goat Kwami wants to stay with his holder. “Marc, I want to crush you.”

[atzfiles]

the park

request: “May I request a scenario with Han or Felix where the reader is usually alone and by themselves so he tries to talk to her but she doesn’t want him to but he annoys her to do stuff after school but one day she yells at him to stop talking to her and she regrets it later bc she likes him”

warnings: a lil speck of angst but mostly fluff hehe

we all know han jisung is a huge ball of energy

you on the other hand

polar opposite 

being friends with him was often a little tiring but you literally loved him anyways

hanging out in school was always fun!!

he kept you awake during your boring geography classes

the nations hero

but after school you really needed to be by yourself bc your social battery is d r a i n e d

jisung knowing, that you often just dwell all alone, had the bright idea of going to the overfilled park with you

you agreed first bc you know,,,hes kindA cute and some fresh air should be okay??

oh boy

oh b o y

you expected some chilling, maybe some talking here and there

but he brought a football, frisbee and badminton bats...

“lets go play something!!!!!!!!” he over excitedly yelled

you couldnt say no to his cute face

and he looked so excited :((

you, not really being a sportsperson embarrassed yourself more than just once 

violently kicking the air instead of the ball

same

there were so many people so you felt kinda meh :// but its jisung so you kinda just smiled thru the pain

thinking this was a once in a lifetime kinda situation and youd never have to go there ever again

next day in school he kept pointing out all the silly things you did like kicking the air or throwing the frisbee into the closest tree

“ha ha ha yeah im such a silly girl haha super funnY!!!”

at lunch he told everyone at the table as well which didnt sit well with you at all

jisung please stop embarrassing your crush 

you just stood up and left mumbling a quick “im not hungry”

he was obviously confused because you seemed to be in a good mood earlier

“excuse me for a sec”

and with that he went after you

he saw you sitting at the entrance of the school fumbling with your bracelet

but you didnt really want to see him bc ughhhhh!! you embarrassed yourself in front of your longtime crush and even tho jisung knows you better than anyone it still bothered you

“why did you leave us at lunch :((”

you just stared at your shoes

“hello silly noodle im talking to you!!!”

“earth to y/n?”

“listen jisung im just?? not in the mood right now,,,,leave me alone”

“we can go back to the park later and we can talk there? i dont want you to be upset”

“no i dont want to go to the park today in fact i dont want to go to any park with anyone ever again >:(”

y/n please calm your dramatic ass phew

“w-what?”

the bell rings and youve never left a spot that fast

jisung just stood there like a kicked puppy

your next class was bio how interesting 

you didnt share that class with him so you tried to distract yourself with that

but you kept seeing his saddend face and remembered your harsh words towards him which made you feel 10 times worse

he just wanted to spend some time with his crush friend

maybe you just reacted that way bc you DO want to spend quality time with him outside of school 

but you also have this huge crush on him which kind of gets in between you and your feelings

also you really cant be around people for longer than 8 hours

you decided to shoot him a quick text

meet me at the gate at 3

you almost immediatly received an answer from him

totally not bc he wanted to text you as well but he was too scared hed shoo you away so he just sat there staring at his phonescreen

okay ill be there

you needed to tell him about your feelings but thats weird and you!! dont even know what youre feeling!!

you were nervous as hell but little did you know he was sweating buckets too

he couldnt focus on his maths teacher at all, being called out multiple times for not paying attention

“jisung are you okay youre getting pale??” changbin asked, looking the younger up and down with a slightly concerned look on his face

“do you ever want to tell your crush youre kinda in love with them but theyre also your friend so you dont want to ruin what you have with them and they also kinda hate you but you dont know why an-”

“jisung dont forget to breathe buddy”

“mr han i wont tell you to shut up anymore. keep quiet or leave this class.”

hello mr teacher this is a serious matter let the boy breathe

after class he hesitated to leave but changbin encouraged him to just come clean to you

so he was a man on a mission

lets get this bread- han jisung, 2018

you already stood at the gate anxiously shifting from one foot to another 

he saw you waiting and picked up his pace a little

he breathed out a little “hi” to which you just nodded your head

“lets walk over to my place” you said, planning on talking things out on your way home

“okay listen im sorry i snapped at you earlier,,,i dont know what happened with me, you did nothing wrong and im just out there screaming at you, which you obviously dont deserve...i was a little moody because you kept bringing up all the embarrassing things i did at the park and i guess i just care a little too much about how you think about me and uh yeah....im sorry”

“youre my favourite person in the whole world how could i think any less of you for cutely kicking a ball in the wrong direction???” he asked while looking at you with big eyes

“listen y/n i dont know what this is going to do to our friendship but im losing serious sleep over this and i just need to get it off my chest and i totally undertstand if you think differently but i like you i really do...as in..more as just a friend i guess??”

y/n is sister shook

HAN JISUNG LIKES ME JUST AS MUCH AS I LIKE HIM IS THIS HEAVEN I SURE THINK SO- y/n

“y-you like me?”

“uhhhh yes???”

“o h”

cue the intense blushing

“well i like you too..”

you know when jisung is all giddy and he kinda bounces around with that huge grin on his face

yea

this but 10 times brighter

you arrived at your house and jisung hesitated but gently hugged you

“im glad you talked to me and im glad we sorted all of this out” he said in a soft voice

“me too, and im really sorry i snapped at you..my feelings just got the better of me”

“its okay” he said with a cute smile

it grew silent and you could practicaly hear the screws in jisungs head turning, trying to figure out if he should kiss you or not

he eventually just went “fuck it” and leaned in

you just stood there like y/n.exe stopped working

he leaned back and giggled a little because of your flustered state

“ill see you tomorrow at school?”

“bet” you smiled

“oh by the way your way of face planting the ground trying to play soccer made my day”

dude you just got a gf dont mess this up already

“han jisung sleep with one eye open”

uH idek what this is but i hope you like it???? ://

requests are open :)

((i hate the title just as much as you do okay im not creative sigh))

[staycatcher]

It's kinda dumb but I think that if my aro ass were to actually fall in love with someone I would feel and think about it like Simon and Baz do. If that makes sense? Anyway, I really like the song you recommended. her voice is so pretty and clear and it went straight into my autumn vibes playlist :) I think you might like dancing on glass by bumkey. What's your favorite thing about each of the members of Day6? (you can even pick several things about them I just want you to gush) -🌵

No I don’t think it’s dumb!! I’m demi and I feel the same way, tho it’s a bit different from you😅 but anyways I feel you!! And I’ve also heard that people who aren’t really romantically attracted to people really love rom coms and books and things bc that’s where they get that fulfillment from~ which I think is accurate ahahah. There’s not many people I wanna date but boi can I read about people dating!!~😂🙈

AND IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!! eeek I love Jamie!!💚✊🏻🥰 and ive been listening to half alive ever since you reced them to me :D!!!

Okay let’s go!! Gushy Time™️🤗🥰

!Sungjin!

He just has that aura. Like the big brother you’ve always wanted. Just very calming and soothing energy~ uNTIL ITS CRACKHEAD HOURS!!! The perfect big brother everyone wants he’d give the best hugs too

He’s very considerate!! Gentleman status!! If Sungjin is alive then chivalry is too owo he makes me regain my hope in humanity honestly

!Jae!

Can we talk about jaesix youtube channel and his interactions on twt. He really loves us so much too!! He really wants to make sure we’re always entertained and have day6 content whenever possible. A man who stans us back.

And I could talk for years about how hilarious he is. Dead ass. But let’s bring something new to the table!! He’s soo smart?!? He’s that Underrated Wit and he really has good ol thoughts in that lil noggin~ and I appreciate his convos and pov~

!YoungK!

Hard working!! How in the hell did this man survive 2017 with the amount of lyrics he had to write?!? This still shocks me to this day.

I love his interactions with the other members so much?!? Idek why but like when I see him interact with them I can really tell he’s listening and considering what they’re saying (when he’s like not asleep or something lmao)

!Wonpil!

This man. If you look up ‘happiness’ on google images all you’ll see is pictures of Kim Wonpil smiling and giggling and just breathing. He is happiness

He’s so sweet and sentimental :(( like how he treats mydays?!? Like the things I’ve heard and read about him- like when he always talks about wanting us to always be happy- okay gtg the tears are comin-

!Dowoon!

Everything? Everything about him I love.

He is so. Pure. And hardworking. And just selfless. He’s a literal angel among men. Like he’s so Good that I genuinely still get shocked to this day I could go on and on about this

You can ~feeeeel~ his purity and passion through the screen man it truly devastates me and makes my soul light again.

[mutualpiningandawkwardness]

My Cocky Neighbor

This is my contribution to Fanfiction Cockyweek! IDEK.

Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Rated T, 5336 words, crack AU, neighbors AU (on AO3)

Derek gasped and sat bolt upright in bed, startled out of sleep by who knows what. He strained his ears, but the house was silent. But… it was the type of silence that echoed with the memory of a sudden loud noise made just seconds ago.

He blinked, tuning in all his senses. It was still dark out. The glowing digits of the clock on his nightstand read 5:18 am - more than an hour and a half before he intended to wake up. He groaned and threw back the covers. This was just one of the drawbacks of living in close proximity to other people.

Being a werewolf he had been careful when he first moved into town, about keeping the windows closed at night. Having lived in the isolated quiet of the preserve growing up, and then in New York where the noise was so ubiquitous and constant it became a dull background hum, noise had never really been a problem.

But the previous summer’s stifling heat had necessitated sleeping with open windows and Derek found that he acclimated to the modest suburban noises easily. Dogs barking, cars driving past and the familiar sounds of neighbors’ voices no longer roused him from sleep. Now he left the windows open whenever the weather allowed, preferring the fresh air and ambient noise to being in an enclosed space in silence.

He looked around and listened carefully to see if there were any noises in or around the house, to find the source of what had woken him so abruptly.

One memorable time his water heater had burst and luckily the sound of splashing water roused him before there was too much damage. Sometimes his neighbor’s adult son would come home at odd hours, occasionally drunk and fumbling. But his wolf recognized Justin’s heartbeat and movements now and didn’t even stir when he crashed into the hedges.

Overall the neighborhood was a quiet one. He’d picked it because the houses weren’t too close together like most suburban developments. His surrounding neighbors were elderly and the house next door was even empty, the couple previously living there having moved to southern California to be near their grandchildren.

His ears perked at a distant scratching sound and then he had to quickly tamp down his wolf hearing because a rooster started crowing. No, not even crowing. It was screeching. There was definitely something off, something damaged about the rooster’s call.

He threw off his covers and leapt to the window, thrusting his head outside to look around.

Quieter clucking followed and then another loud, strangled crow. And another. The sounds were definitely coming from the vacant house. Had someone left the yard open and a feral rooster made its way inside?

He didn’t see the bird from his window so decided to go outside to check it out. It wasn’t like he had any hope of falling back asleep. He was almost tempted to jump out the window but thought better of it as he would have a hard time getting back in - the house was locked up for the night.

He made his way downstairs, not even bothering to put on shoes, and out the front door, jumping off the front porch. He immediately spotted the silhouette of a rooster perched on the neighbor’s roof. It crowed again.

An upstairs window slid open just below it and a head poked out, twisting upwards to face the bird on the roof.

“Cocky! Be quiet. This is no way to endear ourselves to our new neighbors!” The words were whisper-shouted up at the rooster by, apparently, Derek’s new neighbor. It was more shout than whisper, though, and would certainly have woken him if he hadn’t been up already.

“Cocky! Come down here. I’ll feed you. Just. Be quiet!”

“It might have helped if you had him inside overnight.” Derek made sure to inject the appropriate amount of surliness into his voice. Not too much - to start a neighbor feud already, but not too little so that it might be mistaken for friendliness.

“Yaaah!” new neighbor shouted at full volume, startle-jerked his head, banging it into the window sash and then flail-twisted around to face Derek. He clutched his forehead and rubbed the injury.

“The fu- What are y- Who-” New Neighbor stuttered partial sentences at him until he seemed to collect himself. “You can’t keep a rooster inside! That’s just... stupid!” He was still holding his hand to his forehead, arm covering half of his face.

“Well, sorry I don’t know the ins and outs of animal husbandry. But maybe you’ll forgive me since I live in the suburbs.” Derek went for disdain this time.

“Ha, yeah. You, suburbanite.” New Neighbor pointed at Derek with his free hand. “Me-” he pointed at himself, “experienced cock handler. So.” He waved his hand around. “Don’t go telling me how to handle my cock.”

Derek lifted a, what he would like to think was an unimpressed eyebrow, but was probably more baffled. “Well, seeing that you have moved into the suburbs, where houses are built close together, maybe you would have thought twice about bringing your cock with you.”

New Neighbor sputtered.

“You don’t separate a man from his cock!”

“Why the fuck not? It’s a public disturbance and a noise issue! Hens are acceptable. Roosters are not. If this happens again I will file a complaint.”

He turned around and stomped back to his house. The quietly muttered “I fucking dare you,” was not lost to his ears.

So. That was how this was going to be.

Derek went back inside and started his coffee and breakfast in the near dark, resigned to an early start to his day. The rooster kept crowing at about half hour intervals until the sun was fully up, and then it made quieter clucking sounds as it moved around the yard throughout the morning and afternoon. Derek worked from home as a digital content reviewer, so there was no escaping this shit of a situation. He daydreamed for a bit about catching the cock and wringing its neck.

He sighed. Not that he hadn’t killed his share of small game, but this was someone’s pet. He wouldn’t resort to violence. Yet. As long as his new neighbor came up with a solution, he could roll with it.

xXx

It happened again the next morning. And then the next. He started going to sleep earlier, due to the sleep deprivation so had pretty much shifted his schedule, but it still rankled.

He didn’t even go outside when it happened anymore. Just stuck his head out his window and yelled something, each morning slightly more grumpy and threatening: “You need to do something about your rooster!” Or, “You are going to take care of that stupid bird or we are going to have a problem.” And, “I’m going to take matters into my own hands soon!”

“Oh, fucking’ bite me.” The response was muttered, so New Neighbor clearly didn’t intend for Derek to hear it. But he did. And he was livid.

That morning, instead of logging in to check for any new assignments, he took a few hours off to go to the police station to file a noise complaint.

The deputy at the front desk was a young woman who blushed when he smiled at her. She got out the forms for him to fill out and then started asking questions.

Was this a complaint for his neighborhood? Yes. Where did he live?

“1529 Romas Lane.” Derek rattled off. He wasn’t sure what the neighbor’s house number was, but he was sure the station would be able to find that information.

“Oh.” The deputy looked at him with wide eyes. “Is this about the old Franklin residence?”

“Yes!” Derek smiled even wider, glad in this instance he lived in a small town. People knew people. The Sheriff’s station knew his neighborhood and would help him out with the obviously new in town, obnoxious jerk who didn’t know how to get along with neighbors. Maybe he came from a city where apartments were isolated and impersonal boxes and the noise of traffic and sirens was such that a rooster crowing at ass-o’clock in the morning would blend right in.

“Yes, the new resident has a rooster and it crows in the morning at, like, 5:30. And then every half hour for another couple of hours. It’s happened four nights - I mean mornings - in a row. I even suggested he keep the rooster indoors but he said that was a stupid idea. I’m just… I can’t get a full night’s sleep and it’s affecting my work. I work from home.”

“Heh. Okay. Well. Maybe you can talk with him?” She looked sheepish for some reason.

“No. Like I said, I made a suggestion and he called me stupid. He’s very… antagonistic. He’s not open to talking.”

She pursed her lips and exhaled slowly. “Well. Let’s. Let’s ask, shall we?” She stood up from her chair and walked through the door separating the lobby from the rest of the station.

Derek stood there unsure what to do. She went to the back of the station. Was New Neighbor in a jail cell back there or something?

A few moments later he heard whispering right behind the door. Nothing clear enough to understand, but the shadows cast on the frosted glass showed arms waving about wildly.

Then a clear, grumpy, “Fine!”

Derek was shocked when New Neighbor came through the door in a sheriff’s deputy uniform.  His dark brown hair was over-gelled into a ridiculous mess, but his lean build and wide shoulders filled in the uniform to great advantage. He stood there with his hands on his hips, eyebrow quirked at Derek expectantly, clearly irritated.

Fuck. How had Derek not noticed how hot New Neighbor was that night? Aside from the darkness, which shouldn’t have been a factor to his werewolf vision, he was standing literal feet, though a building story up from him and he didn’t see the pale skin, ski-jump nose and mole dotted cheeks, the long fingers and sinewy forearms. The one thing maring the picture of, honestly, Derek’s exact type were the dark circles under his eyes. No doubt from being woken every morning at 5:18 am.

Thinking about sleep reminded Derek of why he was here in the first place.

“I wanted to… Your bird is creating a Noise Disturbance and you need to make it stop.”

“Uh. Yeah. That’s the thing. He’s getting acclimated to his new home and will settle down. In a bit.”

“How. Long. Will. That. Be.” Derek gritted out.

“Oh. A couple…” Neighbor looked up and noticed Derek’s glare and his eyes widened, “... days.”

Derek turned to the clerk. “Isn’t there a law against keeping roosters in a suburban home?”

She nervously shuffled the papers on her desk. “Um. Not as such. No. Beacon Hills was quite rural for a good long time, so there wouldn’t be any laws like that. Unless it came up more recently.” She looked askance.

“So yeah. It’ll just be a couple more days. Hang in there and… uh. Be a good neighbor.” The deputy punched the air, almost like he was trying to give Derek a punch on the shoulder but was standing five feet too far.

Derek fumed, having heard the stutter in his neighbor’s heartbeat. Plus, the front desk deputy’s heartbeat wasn't the steadiest either. While she didn’t tell an outright lie, it was definitely a sign that he was getting the run-around here. Stupid New Neighbor and his stupid sheriff’s force friends. it was pretty clear the whole station would be on his side, would lie to defend him. Derek tried to tamp down on his bitterness, seeing the futility of his situation.

He’d never thought this before on his own behalf, but, seriously? Fuck the Police.

He scowled and nodded curtly to Officer… he squinted at the name tag on his neighbor’s chest. Stilinski. Shit. So, Stupid Neighbor was related to the Sheriff. Even better.

He willed himself not to roll his eyes, gritted his teeth in a semblance of a smile, then turned on his heel and walked out.

xXx

When he got back to his house he went over to the fence and peeked over. The aptly named rooster was strutting around the yard, scratching and pecking at the ground. There was a pretty good sized coop set up in the near corner. Even if there was some way of locking the rooster inside the coop at night, Derek would probably hear it crowing anyway.

He saw the cock looking over a him curiously and out of sheer pettiness, he flashed his eyes at it.

Cocky let out a strangled crow and ran behind some bushes. Derek huffed in satisfaction and went inside to get some work done.

Over the next week Derek tried to adjust his work schedule to accommodate this new… infringement, but it proved futile. His work as a streaming service quality content checker necessitated watching videos and paying close attention to dialogue. The crowing made him turn the volume higher, but then he would get a headache and have to turn it down. More often than not, he would have to rewind parts that he missed due to the distracting sounds. It made him very unproductive. Sure, he had noise canceling headphones, but something about blocking out all ambient sounds made his wolf bristle. It felt like a bad move safety-wise.

He started going over every morning to look over the fence, flashing his eyes at Cocky and only then starting work. The daily “warning” seemed to help a bit to keep the rooster in check.

Until one day he was working steadily away when he heard unmistakeable claws scratching on his front porch.

Oh for crying out loud.

He stomped to the front door and ripped it open. Cocky was there on his doormat, looking up at him in surprise. He let out a couple tentative bawks.

“What.” Derek mentally rolled his eyes at himself for talking to a rooster.

Cocky scratched his feet a few times on the mat, then took a couple steps forward.

“No.” Derek moved to block his doorway.

Cocky blinked at him. Derek was reminded on Hei hei from Moana. It reinforced to him that he probably should not try to reason with a dumb animal. As he was ruminating on the bird’s intelligence level, said bird somehow scooted past him.

“Cocky! Get out!” Derek turned and yelled, trying to catch him before he got too far into the house. But Cocky was too fast, even for werewolf speed.

He found Cocky upstairs, in his office, sitting on his desk chair. He looked like he had settled in comfortably, body mass spreading around him in sort of a puddle.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Buk buk.”

“Is it because you don’t get enough attention at home? Your… deputy not spending enough time with you?”

“Buk.”

“He’s... I’m sure he’s busy. You know. Serving and protecting.”

“Buk.”

“So, can I get some work done today?”

“Buk.”

Derek approached the rooster cautiously. He reached out to try to pick it up but Cocky darted his beak to try and peck at the approaching hand. Derek recoiled and flashed his eyes in warning. Cocky froze, then tipped his head. Was he. Was he baring his neck?

Derek reached out again and this time Cocky allowed himself to be picked up. Derek sat down in his chair placing Cocky in his lap, and was able to work the rest of the day, with only minor interruptions: Stretching, food and bathroom breaks for himself and exploration and outdoor breaks for Cocky.

Late in the evening Derek heard the faint voice of Deputy Stilinski calling, “Cocky! I’m home!” Derek sighed and stood up, stretching, and scratching at his beard scruff. Cocky was currently downstairs, so Derek went to find him and made a ‘follow me’ gesture as he walked to the front door. He held it open and Cocky saw himself out.

Distantly Derek heard neighbor’s surprised, “Oh, there you are! I thought the Evil Neighbor Dude had kil- uh, kidnapped you.” Derek glared at nothing in particular, but being accused of killing an innocent bird? What a jerk. He continued to listen in to sounds of Deputy Stilinski bumbling around in the kitchen. “Who wants mealworms?!”

Derek shook his head and made a mental note to pick up some mealworms from the pet store the next time he went into town.

That was their pattern for the next few days. Cocky would scratch at the door in the morning, Derek would let him in. He would explore the house for a bit while Derek worked at his desk. Around mid-morning, Cocky would come into the office and cluck until Derek picked him up. He sat in Derek’s lap in shifts, both taking breaks every now and then. Derek started leaving his back door open so that Cocky could wander in and out on his own. When he heard his neighbor getting back from work, he’d open the front door and Cocky would walk himself home.

It was nice. Derek had always thought about getting a pet, but never actually followed through with that idea. A dog would be nice; he had several growing up. But since he was on his own, getting a dog would feel like a inferior substitute for pack, and might actually make him feel more lonely. And he’d discovered that cats generally didn’t like him. This was nice though. This was a part time pet. All of the fun but none of the hassle. Buying scratching pads, chicken feed and mealworms didn’t count.

He even enjoyed, occasionally, playing hide and seek or other chasing games with Cocky. They sometimes went running together through the preserve and Derek would carefully remove any burrs or twigs that got stuck in his feathers.  He also checked Cocky for mites, since it was due to him, to their daily outings, that Cocky was being exposed to potential parasites.  He did notice some scarring along Cocky’s neck and bought some salve that would soften the tissue, applying it daily. The old injury was probably what caused Cocky’s crow to be so strange.

Okay, he was getting attached. But it seemed to be working out. His neighbor had crazy long hours, Cocky needed a friend and Derek enjoyed the company.

xXx

“I think my cock is cheating on me!” Derek could hear his neighbor talking to someone. They were probably in a bedroom with a clear line of sight to his because it sounded like they were standing right next to him.

Someone answered, “I thought you’d stopped talking about your dick as a separate entity in eighth grade.”

“What? No, not- My- You know. Cocky!”

“Oh. Yeah. What’s he doing?”

“He’s always gone when I get home, then moseys on in pretending like he’s been here the whole time.“

“But, why is that a problem? He’s probably exploring the neighborhood. As long as he comes home, that seems okay to me. There aren’t any chickens in the neighborhood he could get into trouble even.”

“I’m gonna find him and put a stop to it.”

“Okay?” The conversation faded until Derek couldn’t hear their words, voices moving away from the window.

Derek wondered what ‘put a stop to it’ meant.

xXx

Two days later he found out. They were playing hide and seek and he’d given Cocky a twenty second head start from his bedroom upstairs. Derek could hunt by scent, but usually Cocky would make tiny little excited noises that gave away his location, so he didn’t even need to use werewolf senses. This time, Cocky had hidden in the living room under the accent chair. When Derek suddenly dropped to the floor and peeked under it, Cocky let out a blood curdling shriek and jumped out into the room, flapping his wings and hopping from chair to sofa to coffee table to mantle and all around again, still shrieking and crowing and cackling. Derek was in his beta shift, which he often did for fun -- it didn’t phase Cocky at all -- and was laughing too, so he did not notice the footsteps and the heartbeat approaching up the walk and onto the front porch.

Suddenly his front door burst open. Derek, still in his beta shift, turned to the intruder and roared and - Oh shit. The intruder was his neighbor, Deputy Stilinski.

“Holy fucking shit!” the deputy stumbled backward but the gun trained on Derek held steady.

“What the hell?” Derek’s words slurred around his fangs, but he raised his hands and concentrated on looking non-threatening. He retracted his claws, smoothing his features. His wolf was reigned in, but at this point, he wasn’t sure it that would help. His neighbor who was on the sheriff’s force now knew he was a werewolf. He was pretty much fucked.

“What the fuck are you?!” Stilinski yelled at him.

“Calm down. I- I’m a.” Derek was shifted back completely but he could feel his eyes glinting blue. “I’m a… werewolf.”

Deputy Stilinski was shaking his head back and forth, like a child who was told he’d have to give away his favorite toy. “No. No. No. No. This is not happening. And why are you holding my cock?”

Derek looked down and noticed that, yes, Cocky was cradled in his hand. He must have jumped into Derek’s arms in the excitement. “I… I don’t know.”

“I heard you torturing him. What the hell kind of… thing are you? What are you even doing here?”

“Uh. I live here? I wasn’t torturing him!”

“No, shithead! Like, a werewolf. Living in the suburbs. Shouldn’t you be in the woods somewhere, or a castle or something?”

“You read too many fantasy novels. Werewolves live perfectly-”

Deputy Stilinski was vigorously shaking his head from side to side again. “No. This isn’t right. You’re- You can’t just- No. You’re under arrest!”

“What?!”

“You’re under arrest for...reckless endangerment-” It almost sounded like a guess.

“What?”

“You’re all,” Stilinski gestured to Derek’s face and made claw shapes with one hand. The other still held the gun steadily on him. He grimaced and bared his teeth at Derek.

“That’s not a crime?” Derek said this hopefully.

“It. Could be!” It’s worth investigating.”

“Are you serious?”

“Get on your knees.” Stilinski flicked the tip of his gun barrel towards the floor.

Derek groaned and followed directions, letting Cocky jump from his hand. Kneeling he put his hands behind his head.

Stilinski walked around behind him and Derek could hear the sounds of handcuffs jangling. One snicked over his right wrist, but before the second one was on, Deputy Stilinski started yelling.

“Ow! Ow. Fuck, Cocky. Stop it!”

Derek twisted a bit to look - not too much - he wouldn’t want to be accused of resisting arrest - and he saw Cocky pecking at the deputy’s ankles.

“Oh my god. You little turd. You’d rather he be your owner? Fine by me!”

Derek felt the air shift as Deputy Stilinski moved back from him a couple of steps. He didn’t move though. Who knew what state of mind the deputy was in. He could smell a jumble of emotions: fear, confusion, sadness. Desperation. Something about the deputy’s scent made his wolf want to curl up around him and lick his face. Which was. Weird.

After a few seconds of steadying breaths, on both their parts, he heard and felt the gust of a bone weary sigh. “Look. I’m. I’m gonna take the cuffs off you, okay? This kind of. Was not what I intended to happen. Okay? Here, I’ll just-”

Derek felt the cuff click open and slide off and he lowered his arms slowly. “So, I’m not under arrest?”

“No. No. I was - I don’t know. Taken by surprise. The whole werewolf thing. Shit.”  He holstered his gun.

“Yeah. I know. I mean. When we reveal ourselves, we try to do it in a situation, an environment where the person feels as safe as possible. This was pretty much the opposite of that.”

“Heh. Yeah. I’m sorry for kicking in your door.” They both looked at the front door hanging open and the splintered door jam. “Oh shit.”

“Oh.” Derek shrugged. “It should probably be replaced if a human can kick it in.”

“Hey! A highly trained human!”

“Okay.” He meant it to be genuine, but apparently Deputy Stilinski did not take it that way because he immediately punched Derek in the shoulder.

“Ow.” Was this normal behavior for a sheriff’s deputy?

“Oh my god. I’m sorry! Don’t go all growly on me or anything!”

“I was kidding. It didn’t hurt.” Derek shook his head and dipped his chin towards his shoulder. “Werewolf.” He flexed his arm where it was by his side. Stilinski’s eyes bulged and he groaned, putting his head in his hands.

“What is my life? My hot neighbor turns out to be a werewolf that I try to arrest for stealing my cock, but he turns out to be my cock’s best friend, who defends him until I’m a bloody scratched up mess. Yeah. That about sums it up.”

“You thought I stole your cock?”

“Yeah! He’s gone all the time, he won’t let me pet him, and I heard you torturing him.”

“Oh. No. Uh. We were playing.”

“You were playing with my cock?”

“Um. Yeah. We play hide and seek? He seems to like it? Like, I think those noises he was making was him, sort of, laughing. We do it all the time and he always sounds like that.”

“Uuuuggghh.” Stilinski dropped to the sofa. “My rude as fuck, hot neighbor can make my cock laugh and I’ve never heard that before and now I feel like a failure of a cock owner.”

“No. Don’t feel bad. I mean, it might be something that I thought up because I’m a werewolf. You know. Hunting...”

“What do you mean, hunting? You hunt birds? You eat birds and other tiny woodland creatures?”

“Well.” Derek grimaced and sat down on the sofa too. He shouldn’t have brought this up. “Very rarely.”

“So, those mountain lion attacks the other week…”

“What? No. That was not me.”

“No, yeah! I didn’t mean that. But, maybe you could look at some of the evidence pictures? Do you think there’s a werewolf in the preserve? Because I talked to my friend who’s a vet and he said he he didn’t think the bite patterns could be mountain lions.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t think it would be a werewolf. At least, I don’t know of any in this area right now. But there are other things it could be, so yeah. I can look at the pictures.”

“Great!” Deputy Stilinski smiled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it over for Derek to put his name and number in it. When he took it back, he looked it over. “So. You’re a Hale. You lived here before, right? Out by the preserve?” He said it like he wasn’t surprised who Derek was.

“Yeah. I only moved back a little over a year ago though. You’re from here too?”

“Yeah. I’m, like, four years behind you or something. I think your sister was in my class?”

“Cora? You know Cora?”

“Not really. I mean I knew of her. But then, everyone knew your family. After.”

Derek nodded and looked away. He didn’t automatically fall into the grief and guilt he would have a handful of years ago, but the mention still brought up painful memories.

He felt the sofa cushion dip slightly next to him and at first he thought Deputy Stilinski was putting his hand down or leaning closer, but then he heard soft warbles and realized Cocky had settled down between them. Did he sense Derek’s sadness? He stroked down Cocky’s feathers and scratched at his comb.

“So, my cock really kind of likes you. More than he likes me.” Deputy Stilinski sounded sad.

“No, that’s not true. He’s just making new friends.” Derek looked at the deputy thoughtfully. “Can I call you-”

Stilinski looked at him with a huge smile.

“-something besides Deputy Stilinski?” Stilinski’s smile faltered a bit, but then he burst out laughing.

“My name’s Stiles. At least, that’s what everyone calls me.”

Something tickled at Derek’s memory. “Mischief,” he whispered.

“Woah. Yeah, that’s me! That’s what they called me when I was a kid. Did you know me?”

“I think I remember you from the city picnics. You were always running around? And someone was always chasing you, calling for you.”

“Yeah. I was a handful. Too much energy. Now we know it was ADHD, so. I’m better now.”

They both smiled and laughed and reached out to pet Cocky at the same time.  Their hands bumped but neither pulled away. They continued petting, fingers occasionally brushing each other.

“I mean. I see the appeal now. And I’m sorry about the early morning crowing.”

“I’ve gotten used to it. My schedule is pretty much shifted now. And he seems to be settled in, right? He’s not as loud.”

“Yeah. He just needed a good man. I mean, friend!” Stiles blushed and Derek wanted to bury his nose in his neck.

“Can we, maybe, go out sometime? Sometime when it’s not about department work?” Stiles asked tentatively, and Derek could hear his heartbeat elevate a little as he asked.

“A date?” Derek’s heart rate increased too. He doesn’t remember ever being this excited at getting asked out before.

“Yeah? But only if you’re interested. I mean. You wouldn’t feel pressured into it because I’m a deputy right? Because - well, not that-”

“I’d love to,” Derek interrupted and caught Stiles’ hand and squeezed.

xXx

“I thought I was going to have to arrest you for stealing my cock and since he’s worth so much, and you were torturing him, it would become a felony.” They were standing outside Stiles’ door after their movie date.

“Again: Playing hide and seek with me is not torture.” Derek lifted his eyebrows. “And how is he worth so much money?”

“I got him when my last precinct broke up a cock fighting ring. He’s the offspring of champion cock who was a big money maker, hence his value.”

“Are you an animal rights activist? Is that why you kept him?”

“Huh? Oh, no. When we broke up the ring there were hundreds of cocks! He was wasn’t a baby or anything, but I think he imprinted on me. He followed me around and cried when they tried to put him with the rest, so I agreed to take him. Though, thinking about it now, it might have been his neck injury that made me think he was crying.  His voice is kind of messed up.”

“Let me get this straight. Your pet is worth a lot of money - for illegal cock fighting. So you were going to arrest me. You almost did!”

“I didn’t think it through! And then the torturing! And then the whole-” he gestured at Derek’s face.

Derek caught Stiles’ hand as it was waving around and brought it to his mouth.  He smiled wickedly and let his teeth elongate just a little, catching a finger but avoiding his canines. Stiles gasped.

The sudden smell of arousal caught Derek by surprise, but it sent blood rushing to his- well, his cock.  Oh god. He’d have to stop using that word now.  But it was nice to know that Stiles probably would not be put off by his shift.

“Come inside?”  Stiles asked huskily.  He was already fumbling his keys into the lock.  Derek nodded. As Stiles stepped inside, Derek noticed Cocky in the bushes at the side of the porch.  He held out his hand and Cocky flew into his arms, and they followed Stiles inside.

Derek had a good feeling about this, about everything. For the first time in a long time.

[astroprojectinggoo]

story time bc i’m sad and need to vent but no one will listen and I need love an-

anyway. so. today I went to the pool in the hotel I’m staying at and I saw this vv good looking guy who was around my age (we’ll call him Dylan because he looked like a Dylan), but me being myself didn’t go up and talk to him. but fast forward about an hour later of me just silently staring at him talk to his family and hold his guitar case while I pretend to look at my phone , my mom asks me to go to the car. so I get up and go to the elevator to go to the room and get the keys but Dylan was right infront of me and I happened to get into the same elevator as him. but I didn’t say anything cause I’m fucking awkward. but he looks at me , smiles, and says “hi , what floor ?.” and I’m internally screaming at this point and say “5”, so he says “oh I’m not too far from there , I’m on floor 7, the one with the janitors closet.” and I don’t know what to say so I just say so I just laugh and say “oh cool” and look away cause again, I’m fucking awkward. so then my floor comes up and I get out and he says “bye, oh and I like your shirt !” And I was wearing a Panic! Shirt.

so fast forward to me going to the car and coming back downstairs. when I come back downstairs he’s swimming and playing with his little sisters and just being so adorable. do I decide to go get changed into my bathing suit and go swimming with my siblings. so I come back down and I go into the pool. I start swimming and our siblings are fucking playing with each other, how ironic is that (literally not at all they’re kids and have nothing to do with my hopeless “crush”). so he comes up to me and says “oh hey , i saw you in the elevator like floor 5 right ?” And I was like “yea , and you’re the one by the janitors closet!” and he said “yea sorry I was so awkward and i don’t know why just blurted that out.” and I’m fucking thinking like ‘you were awkward ????? sis.’ but I just shrugged it off and told him he wasn’t awkward. but after that his mom called them and they all started to sit by the bonfire my tower has every night from 8-11. so when it gets dark he pulls out his guitar and starts singing. and let me tell you, this boy was fucking phenomenal. AND I SHIT YOU NOT HIS LIKE 8 Y/O SISTER HAD HER VIOLIN AND THEY STARTED SINGING TOGETHER. WTF. granted they were singing country and I dont particularly like country, it was still fucking beautiful. that boy is the only country I like. (I’m assuming he’s country or whatever cause him and his whole family had those pretty southern accents) But after they were done we all kinda just sat by the fire and we sat next to each other anendkowkw. he smelled like heaven I stg. but I was talking to my cousin the entire time and I could hear him laughing at my jokes and stuff so that was cool. but then I had to leave cause the pool closes at 11 , and I’m leaving tm at like 7 am. And I never got his number or name bccaysr I was afraid to initiate a conversation so I won’t ever see him ever again and now I’m sad lmao.

like he was so perfect, he had such a big family that he loved and got along with, he was beautiful, funny, he seemed like such a sweetheart, he fucking sings angelically, plays the guitar, and idek his name.

but like he’s way out of my league, so out of my league it’s insane. I look like a tub of butter compared to him and I’m literally so awkward and he’d never like me he was probably just taking pity on me or just talking to me cause there was no one else to talk to. and I literally thought that I had some chance because he talked to me but now reality is settling in and I realize that it’s not that big of a deal and I over analyze everything and I just need love and I want a boyfriend so I could stop falling for anything just because I crave affectio-

I’m done I’m sorry.

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #4: “I am definitely sobbing 24/7” -Gavin

-okay so dan left eight to one a real... how you say... zzz. and then birch activates the earthquake and gives us... the best swap... ever...? i say us i mean ME so anyway the swap gives me... my alliance members of vi/collin/ruthie which YES. we already are half the tribe eat it UP. then i have cindi who im close to, who im also in a second game with rn. which BAM, and also... og tribe majority mmmmm delicious. THEN from the other tribe i get. BODHI who im also close to outside of this, and am also in another game with rn (where im about to vote to keep him in so woo we love  building trust...?). then i have rachael who is a sweetheart and TIMMY. ONE OF MY OLDEST ORG FRIENDS HELLOOO. this swap is kind of... too... good? all the people i'd wanna vote out are on the other tribe so the MO rn is to just sweep challenges ideally? thats the agenda. because rn the ones i want gone are birch/keegan/zachary/gavin... all of whom are on the other tribe. so we better get to winning even tho it might be bad for austin/jay if we do (but maybe timmy would go first idek)

-okay so... we just won jeopardy? that challenge truly had me weighing up and considering literally fighting a child because that zach is half child prodigy, half robot he was literally bodying the challenges... BUT THEN WE WON ASFJDKSAL. we literally just went for broke on the final jeopardy and it came THROUGH. im so so happy because i want all of my swap tribe at merge, they are all people i want to stick around so even one tribal would be a disaster. i think timmy might unfortunately be screwed just because jay/austin are really connected. also the annie tribe is probably gonna lose... another og tribe member. but HONESTLY what can you do. this is good for my longterm survival anyway hopefully they turn inwards and get rid of one of OG Jack even though its probably unlikely KJFLSAD.

-well, to start out, i am sorry this is later than anticipated. however, what matters is that i am doing it now... right? ANYWAYS... onto the confessional. i think the main thing i want to talk about this round, is the brilliant move i orchestrated during that challenge that gave us the win... and the fact that i got NO CREDIT FOR IT. OKAY Y'ALL... I SEE YOU. but anyways, i think it is clear that i am basically a mastermind. however, what really matters is that we won... so GO TEAM (me)! following the challenge this round i was added into an alliance chat planned by keegan and zach with rachael and myself. so, when jess wasn't included, i obviously had to go talk to her and subtly expose that alliance... and funnily enough, keegan added jess to alliance with birch! FUNNY. so, we basically figured out that keegan is trying to play everyone and anyone he can--which will definitely be useful information going forward. overall this round, i think i really strengthened some key bonds with birch and rachael specifically. i was on call with rachael for 5 hours straight and talked about personal things with birch for about an hour. so, i honestly feel pretty good going forward. and on the bright-side, if things start to look like they're going south, i always have that idol in my back pocket. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl.

-well, to no ones surprise... we swapped. AND I WAS SEPARATED FROM MY RACHAEL. i’m not crying... (jk, i am definitely sobbing 24/7). but on the bright side, i at least have jess with me. unfortunately due to zachs poor math skills, we lost the challenge that should have been an easy win for us given our lead going into the final jeopardy... but gavin is not bitter. so, unfortunately, we have to go to tribal with a brand new tribe. on the bright side, it seems to be looking in OG jack’s favor numbers wise, so i don’t particularly feel like i am in danger. however, you never know what could happen at tribal council. so, if worse comes to worse, i will have my idol ready to play—but i am hoping it doesn’t come to that. it appears as though austin or jay will be leaving—which is perfectly fine with me (even if i want keegan to go sooner rather than later, it’s best not to make any unnecessary waves right now. so i will continue to let him become a bigger target and try to take charge and snake as he does... and we will go from there.

https://youtu.be/R3zDNJfI3Pc

https://youtu.be/4QKj_KZhhCE

-I....am upset. You put me on a tribe with little cutie Gavin and then RIPPED HIM AWAY. I am beyond upset. I am outraged. SWAP US BACK COWARDS. Can't wait for the next earthquake to hit so we can be reunited. I miss him so much. He still sends me tiktoks though so thats cute. we are watching Hamilton together on Friday and I am so excited.

-It’s 1:02PM and I still miss Gavin.

-It’s 5:14 pm and I still miss Gavin. Hope he doesn’t go home, but I won immunity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So I forced a swap. yay! I also exiled myself, mainly to keep myself safe cause fuck getting voted out, Am I right? So I don't really have anything to report on. uhhhh, yeah. Go everyone!! 

-When your tribe mates don't listen to your wager advice and you lose the challenge :))))))))))))))))))))))))

-So a swap happened so that's fun.... I can't even lie I  have swap PTSD from my last Survivor. I was swapped into the minority, rocked myself out with an idol for a souvenir. THAT BEING SAID... This swap worked out for me! I think? At least for now? If I didn't have Gavin with me I'd be extremely worried but because I do believe he has an "in" with the bro's Keegan/Zach aka: a duo... I'll at least know if they are up to some shady shit. I also got Chips! SO PARTY. I'm really thankful we got a swap because I don't know if I would have survived a couple of votes on my previous tribe. I wasn't necessarily "in" with people. So a swap was welcomed but I was also scared shitless. This swap has really opened the door for me/Zach? I don't trust him the slightest BUT at least we have some sort of dialogue right now compared to the crickets we were exchanging on OG JACK. This swap also broke up the "alliance" of Zach, Rachael, Keegan...and Gavin. So now they'll need to find a replacement Rachael and I know I'm not as pretty as Rachael but maybe I'll fill the female quota in that alliance? Chips has opened up a LOT to me so far. We've exchanged idol searches but he feels on the bottom of that "alliance" and I don't blame him. I just don't know where we go from here after this vote. He flips? to Jay? Maybe a Jay/Chips/Keegan/Zach majority? He wants me to flip to a Chips/Jay/Timmy/Majority? I have no idea. We also get Birch next round! I do enjoy Birch so much but that's a number for Keegan and that makes me un-easy. Keegan is easily my biggest threat so far. Next round could potentially be a 6.vs. 2 majority and it can't be THAT simple. I'm going to focus on winning... I guess? I'm really enjoying Timmy so far even though he's given me a few red flags or I'm being lied to hardcore. Austin told me he had a vote reveal however, why would Timmy tell someone who he has said "treated him badly" about a power? So either Timmy is playing me or Austin is playing me. Either way they both can go?! Timmy gives me such weird vibes. I want to trust him but I also think he's going to be a super cut-throat player down the line and that SCARES ME.

Ok.....with the swap that happened and us losing immunity I really feel my game is over. Which really sucks bc i wanna work with ppl like keegan jess jay chips and zach but I dont feel most of those ppl wanna work with me.  I'm not gonna give up tho . I'm gonna try talking and making deals and doing what I can to save myself.  It's not over til tribal and I have plenty of time. Pleaseeeee atomic gods let me make it through this one vote 

Me never remember what my last confessional was about? The title of my autobiography. So, we swapped which is super unfortunate but the tribe I got swapped into has a majority OG Jack members. JESS, ZACH, GAVIN, CHIPS and myself against JAY, TIMMY Z and AUSTIN. And then we lose the challenge because math is apparently impossible? Like ZACH either threw the challenge on purpose or he’s just the worst person at math. Either way, we’re going to tribal tonight. The current plan is to stay tribe strong and vote out an OG Annie which is fine by me. JAY is saying he wants to work with me because we’re both previous winners which is a good point. But I’ve got some solid alliances already and I don’t want to mess those up this early into the game. As far as I can tell right now, the plan is to split votes between JAY and AUSTIN with AUSTIN being the primary target since he’s pretty bad at challenges and isn’t likely to work with us down the line. TIMMY apparently spilled the beans about a six person alliance that didn’t include himself or CINDI, so we’re trying to keep him safe and pull him in as a number for the future. Who knows what will happen though. There’s idols to worry about which is why we’re trying to split the vote. 

This tribe swap makes me so happy because I vibe with these people so much better and it gives me a new chance in this game to fix my activity level. On top of that, we are safe!!! Another round of not having to go to tribal is a good round for me. Who knows why the Annie tribe only wagered $3,000 because that made absolutely no sense but I’m not complaining. Overall, A+ round!

So this round, i find myself swapped into a tribe of people that are so much better then my old tribe. I was on the outs of that 6 person alliance and I am sure I would have been the next to go for sure. I get a really good vibe off of zach and jess, plus gavin and keegan are cool too. Not to sure about Chips but I have to put my trust in these people for the mean time. As for the challenge, we lost and i knew I was going to vote with the old Jack tribe. We plan on splitting the votes 3 vs 3 with austin and jay voting whoever. Of course in true them style, the moment they found out it was them, they threw me under the bus immediately. Hopefully everything goes as planned tonight and Austin goes home, if not it is going to be me. I have had good convos with people tho and hope that can get me through this tribe.

Well this swap completely sucks. In the complete minority, someone sold out the alliance to Timmy so I doubt he trusts me anymore. I just tried to be honest with him so he'd see me in a better light and I hope it worked. Beyond that, we lost the challenge and I think my head is on the chopping block. Earlier today Chips came and told me that he's pretty sure the votes are coming down on me and they're gonna tell me Austin to fake me out. And you know, that's probably true because Zach, Keegan, and Gavin have all told me it's Austin. What troubles me is that Chips doesn't seem to have a plan otherwise even though it seems like he wants to do something else. So once Zach told me it's Austin, I had more of a chat with him. He really seems to not want me to go anywhere, which is hard not to believe. Either he's telling me the truth or he's a fantastic liar. Same with Keegan, even though I think it's in both of our best interests to work together going forward. At this point it's clear that it's gonna split between Austin and myself so i worry if I don't vote Austin then I'm just automatically out. Shits really hard in the game right now and all I want is to survive another day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25eKaudnTmA&feature=youtu.be

https://imgur.com/31jZcmF

I am finally not at the bottom. My original tribe has minority and I have prior existing relationships with 2/3 of the og Jack tribe. Plus I have bodhi, whom I absolutely love, on my tribe. I am happy. 

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Click HERE to watch the Round 4 Cast Assessment!