#and how we see the characters changing and how even though there are plot things changing stuff aorund them are the characters themselves

[flightyalrighty]

Being for real right now, but like what questions do you not want us to ask you about this comic cuz what you may see as rude, I/we may not see as rude.

I mean, I see asks here all the time where people ask things that are dumb, annoy you, and are repetitive, like you've mentioned many times before.

But, there's other asks where someone will be asking a question or talking about a theory they have for the story and then you respond with an aggravated response.

I guess I'm also asking to what extent are you willing to answer questions till it gets in the "that's a spoiler i don't want to spoil" zone. That's a fine line I can't see.

There's just so many different other artists out there who all have their own personal boundaries about their works just like you do and I just want to make sure that me, and anyone else can stop crossing boundaries we didn't know we were crossing. (Also it's very easy for people to get comfortable in someone else's space then move to someone else's and subconsciously assume the things are going to be the same there, yn).

(I'm just ranting after this)

Cuz from MY point of view, I've seen a lot of wholesome theories and comments about what could happen in the coming chapters or about a character and you flick them away like they shouldn't have bothered existing. And that the person who thought them up was stupid for even thinking such a thing.

And no, I don't have full references or screenshots of the asks that I'm thinking of. They're the Ivan and Sonic ones mostly.

I'm just curious about this because I thought the beauty of sharing your stories and even creating them in the first place was for people from all different lives and experiences to come together and read something and have their own points of views of said story and share their points of views of the story that they are reading/watching with the creator or the other people that enjoy SAID story.

Because people ARE going to come up with some wacky shit. That's the fun part! Even if it's neeeever going to happen or it is entirely false. I see how the whole thing with Tails and Rouge being alive or dead could have been annoying especially coming from how people were handling it. Of course! But at the same time I don't think people are crazy for thinking that Tails could be alive! (even though now you confirmed he is)

Genuinely people are grasping at straws most of the time. But there's been some where I was like "huh, okay, I see your vision". I've even tried figuring out how he could be alive myself! Because genuinely, there are a looot of storylines out there where people have pulled the "Oh no! They're dead! ... Oh yay! They're back!" card a dozen times.

So it's not crazy for people to just assume that's where this story was going to go, too. We humans go on autopilot when we think we've spotted a plot consistency. That's just the way we are sometimes. (This applies to Rouges' thing, too.)

But the people that are still waiting to this day for the big reveal that Tails is not a rotting corpse even though you've already told us the reality many many times concerns me.

Another thing-

I know that when people come up with other ideas about your story that do not in line with what you had in mind, it can make you doubt. And let me just tell you right now, even if you already know this and I'm just talking to a brick wall, I want you to know that this story is perfect. It is it's own thing that you made and no one can change that or take that from you.

People's perspectives are their perspectives. You can't please everyone. You can't satisfy our personal wants for the future of this story. What is written is written and what you've made is incredible.

There are going to be nasty people. People who are going to piss.you.off.

There are those who are going to bombard you about how they want this and that to be done. People who criticize you and your work and who believe they're the judges.

But there's also going to be people who simply appreciate what you've made. Those who want to share what they love about your stories and how it's made them feel. People who make a million theories about your story and who can be a lot, but in their core, it's just their way of expressing their love.

There's going to be people who create things for you. Those who compliment and scream with joy everytime it updates.

And just so many others out there.

I think that's the beauty of telling a story! The critiques, and the fans. The community you create. The excitement that you bring out of people when a new update comes, and the kindness and love you receive from little strangers from all over that enjoy the story you've created just as much as you do!

Idk, I just want to say that.

And just because someone's theories doesn't align with exactly what you had in mind with your story doesn't mean that you failed in telling the story you were trying to tell. It means that people just like reading between the lines even when there's nothing there. This causes conversations between fans. Good, bad, and whatever. And because of what they THOUGHT they found, it gives them even more of a shock when they find out they were wrong. Even better when the reveal is even more incredible than they could have imagined it would be. And that they discovered possibilities that you couldn't have seen yourself. Things that inspire you and others.

I've also been given the impression that you just want people to enjoy things once update at a time. Be patient. That we're going too crazy trying to get all the answers NOW instead of later. And I see that.

Cuz we all know for fact that there aren't only 16+ people here reading this comic, lol. And even for the older folks, they can still be impatient and illmamnered people who aren't any better than the 12 year olds lol.

But still, you can't expect for people to NOT create discourse and asks trying to debunk things. And from what I've deduced, this is going to be a pretty long comic. And it's what, over a year old or something? And the patrons are many chapters ahead of us, only with the script, though. So from where we're at, I'm assuming this story is going to take a good chunk of years till the end. I genuinely have no idea what the length of this story is going to be.

But yeah, anyway, there's gonna be a lot of discourse between here and then. Discourse you might not want. It's just to be expected. But I wish you all the luck for the coming future of this comic!

Also, I'm sorry If I sounded like an a-hole at all during this. That was not my intent nor was I trying to be anything like that. I'm genuinely curious how you view all of this and I want to make sure I don't upset you. I'm also just confused about a lot of things in this space. But I'm learning!

Thank you, kudos ❤️

Well, yeah, when you send me a massive tone-policing lecture about how I choose to answer asks within my inbox, that does, in fact, make you kinda an asshole.

"Cuz from MY point of view, I've seen a lot of wholesome theories and comments about what could happen in the coming chapters or about a character and you flick them away like they shouldn't have bothered existing. And that the person who thought them up was stupid for even thinking such a thing."

- Well, without any actual evidence to confirm this, there's no way for me to know what you're even talking about here. Kinda just seems like you're putting words in my mouth.

"I guess I'm also asking to what extent are you willing to answer questions till it gets in the "that's a spoiler i don't want to spoil" zone. That's a fine line I can't see."

- If answering a question, no matter how I answered it, could spoil the comic (answering honestly or coyly or lying), then I simply don't answer it. Sorry to all the folks that have sent stuff before that I straight up couldn't answer. I won't be answering "will [Character] appear in Infested?" questions with anything other than a joke. Tbh, I'd avoid reaching for spoilers in the first place because, like, I'm not going to spoil my comic.

"But, there's other asks where someone will be asking a question or talking about a theory they have for the story and then you respond with an aggravated response.", "They're the Ivan and Sonic ones mostly."

- Yeah, so the thing about all of those "Oh! Sonic killed Ivan instead of Tails!" theories is that the readers saying those things are proving to me that they haven't been paying attention -- Both to the comic, itself, and to what I have been directly saying. They are missing big key signs that this didn't happen, like the fact that this is a flashback to two days ago so why would Sonic be dripping in fresh blood when he and Shadow find each other? Why would Sonic be covered in little orange hairs? Why would the last thing Sonic remembers be being "with Tails"? Why would the author of this comic be constantly talking about how Tails's death is one of the most important events in the entire story? Or how this is a Story About Grief. Like, yeah, I'm gonna get a little snippy if after all of that people are still insisting Sonic killed Ivan instead of Tails (or both). I didn't want to have to spell it out. I see so much of this theory, too. On here, and on Bluesky, and on Comicfury. It sucks, dawg.

"But still, you can't expect for people to NOT create discourse and asks trying to debunk things."

- I am not a massive team of people making a commercial product. I am a single person making a passion project that people keep alive via donations. Trying to DING my comic Cinema-Sins-Style, DIRECTLY AT ME, while the comic is still an ongoing thing and not a complete story is seriously rude. Like, keep that conversation within your friend groups, please. Shoot the gun in the air, not at my face. You gain nothing from trying to "outsmart" me.

Anyway,

EDIT: It didn't save my formatting at ALL so I've done my best to fix it to make it less confusing.

[skunkes]

i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either

[goldentigerfestival]

Since I'd been talking a lot about JP Vesperia (primarily Yuri and Flynn and the heavy changes that surround them, and because I'm highly passionate about them in their original context), I wanted to compile some more jarring if not outright glaring mistakes in the localization (or what were likely intentional changes, because I can't look at some of these and just call them "mistakes"). I'm not going to mention every little change throughout the game, so smaller things I'll mostly be leaving out (namely things that don't really affect characters or context). I primarily just wanted to give some insight on some of the bigger parts.

Some of the changes seem to have been mistakes in translation itself (not just localization, but misunderstanding what was being said in general; such as, there's an instance I mention of that between Patty and Don), so I've got some mentions hanging around for clarity purposes as some scenes didn't make much sense, likely because of this.

Vocal tone with Yuri was the most prominent issue that got me making this, and the context that was changed being right after if not equally next to that (most often also with Yuri but also Flynn).

This is something that has been bothering me for a while and I've been wanting to share this stuff with people interested in seeing the game with its original context. Generally speaking, the plot and story themselves are on point. The majority of the differences surround Yuri and Flynn respectively, so there's going to be a lot of mention of them throughout.

I've also posted video clips of my favorite scenes and the heavy changes, so consider those a supplement to this and vice versa.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

(Other) GTF Favorites.

Note because people have vagueposted about me since making these: Do not start "dub versus sub hurr hurr" arguments with me or imply that's what I'm doing with these. Firstly, Japanese is a language, not your English subtitles. Secondly, these posts are not in main tags and I am not bothering anyone by making posts of my feelings on my own blog related to these facts. If you have time to vaguepost and whine about my untagged opinions after hatereading (or not even reading it at all and making stupid assumptions), you have time to be nice to people and find something fun to do. Lastly, I've said many times that the entire loc/dub in this game is not bad. There are specific things I take issue with. It does not mean I'm anti dub and hate all dubs. It does not mean I go out of my way to find dub fans and start shit with them.

Update: Went back through to correct the way I used "dub" and "localization" interchangeably. I don't do that anymore bc "dub" obviously refers to the dubbing of foreign media, and dubbing is a part of the localization process. Lines themselves are not the dubbing, and the dubbing is the vocals. Thus, I edited cases where I really didn't think about that while writing these and changed mistaken "dub" mentions as needed.

---

I'd like to preface this by mentioning the chief director and producer of the game itself has also spoken about localization inaccuracy issues, so that's something to keep in mind (it's in Japanese, but you should be able to use the offered post translator).

I'd also like to preface this by mentioning that in the original, Yuri is more playful and relaxed/casual (generally but including with Flynn, which the dub pretty much entirely changed until arc 3), but also gentler and softer. He has a very large variety of tonal behaviors/tonal "moods" that were pretty much nuked from the dub.

Basically, to get a better experience for this Yuri, I can only really recommend playing the game in JP audio. Obviously you won't get the actual context because all you'll have is the loc context, but that's also partly why I'm making these posts - to cover the contextual changes while the video clips cover some of the tonal changes (because lbh I don't expect anyone to actually go watch the entire game in JP with subtitles unless you're as insanely dedicated as I am, and I'm largely doing it out of my love for the original Yuri and Flynn and my disdain for how the localization treated them).

As a heads up, there won't be many skits in here because I'm going through a specific YT playthrough for these screenshots. Specific skits won't always come up in the playthrough in question, and I can't find a whole list of skits in JP anywhere online. I don't have all skits unlocked in my own save either yet (you can unlock all skits with Grade which I have yet to do in the DE), so I can't use that to compare all skits right now.

There are plenty of small changes here and there that I won't be including in these posts because there are some sentence changes that aren't impactful but do exist. I just don't want to be here for a year covering the random changes that don't matter much. I'm also not going to include details of a lot of honorifics because I'd be here all day, but there is one one major instance that I mention later on.

For reference if anything wants to actually watch the game in JP with the subs (it goes until just after Hypionia), most of the references come from here. Since in some cases the subber just reused localized text even when the context wasn't the same, I did bring some of those up in these posts too. These were subbed before the DE version came out. I used screenshots with subs where possible to make it easier to follow along.

I have a lot of passion for JP Yuri and I hope I can pass on some of that passion to others. 🙏

Apologies in advance if some of these sound cranky. If I sound cranky about some specific changes, it's probably because I am.

---

Since I talked about the whole, Raven being shady and Yuri therefore not being grateful to him incident that the localization for some reason butchered and made Yuri sound like a generally ungrateful or just outright dumb person who doesn't understand gratitude, I'll summarize that one again here:

Yuri has a skit with Estelle originally talking about how he can't find himself being grateful to someone like Raven for showing him how to sneak out of the castle. Basically, Raven is shady and he's not sure he should be grateful to someone like that, and is confused as to why Estelle would be so grateful when she doesn't even know him (because in his mind, he isn't sure he wants to trust a guy with those vibes). The loc just kinda... makes him sound like an ungrateful jerk and not so much because he's not sure he wants to trust Raven. It doesn't really sound like it's an issue of his with Raven specifically but more that he just generally doesn't feel grateful for the aid (and that in general one shouldn't feel grateful for aid like this), which gives off a really wrong impression of him that doesn't hold up throughout the game. Yuri wasn't wholly ungrateful for the gesture itself, but because of who it came from (and I imagine a weird peppy guy in jail is good cause to be skeptical).

We start off we a classic "Yuri, you idiot!" that was changed to "come on already!".

Yuri's response to Estelle mentioning he'd been in the knights doesn't actually give a time frame for how long he'd been there (the loc made up three months, but there was never originally even a time frame given).

Here when Yuri asks Estelle why she can't just leave, her response indicates she actually does know why. The loc made it more ambiguous, which could be easily misinterpreted as she really doesn't know, so I'm dropping this one here.

For some reason the localization seemed to have Estelle responding to Karol directly about the ace always performing their attack last ("I don't think so"). What she was referring to was the tiny monster that walked by, asking for confirmation that that monster was not the eggbear they were looking for (I wasn't gonna fight with the video to get a better screenshot without the annoying YT red bar in the way so the monster is in the corner mid-movement lol). Not sure if that was a genuine mistake, but it was an odd one.

(Also, side note and not putting an image here because it's more general, but Yuri refers to Karol as "Karol-sensei" which was translated in the localization to "Captain Karol". Basically, Yuri calls him "sensei" because that's a teacher/professor, and he's making a play on Karol's knowledge and being their "teacher" about monsters/maps/etc.)

I'd say this is more along the lines of overexaggerating and not overreacting, but this line was literally changed to "haha" in the loc. The whole point wasn't that Yuri just brushed her comment off or found it funny. At this point he still literally thinks she's exaggerating about her lack of knowledge out in the world, her excitement, etc.

Not the only instance you'll find of the loc just changing entire sentences to something meaningless as if they ??? didn't know what it meant (they actually changed Patty saying an entire sentence to "aye"). In some cases they added entire sentences that weren't even there...

Even though I can kind of see where they went with the loc here, the point was supposed to be that Flynn actively thought he would be happy for Yuri to go outside the barrier and see the world.

The loc changed this to Flynn saying that he, in the now, is happy that Yuri is outside the barrier, but then says he got a little less happy when he saw the wanted poster, indicating he was previously happy but got less happy, yet says in that moment that he is happy.

It's a weird case of (past/present) tense usage for the most part, but they also removed the fact that Flynn is literally saying "I thought I would be happy" (thus expressing he'd been wanting Yuri to see the world outside the barrier and would've been happy to find out he did). The reason he's not finding himself happy is because of the wanted poster and the crimes listed on it, following up that his honest happiness for Yuri (ultimately because of the poster) was a lie.

This also means they removed Flynn expressing the honesty of his happiness for a positive concept for Yuri, which, given all the changes toward Flynn in the loc/dub, already now takes away from the fact that he'd been actively hoping for good things for someone and we're left with this more sarcastic take on him being "happy" (his line is more like, "but I lost my sense of genuine happiness when I saw this!").

Obviously his happiness wasn't really a lie because most of the crimes were falsified (primarily the ones that would make him actually mad, because Flynn has had to have been aware this whole time that Yuri has committed small time crimes for the past few years now), but at the time, the focus on this conversation is that Flynn thought he'd be happy at a time that Yuri left the barrier; meaning he'd been hoping for it prior to it happening.

I'm also mentioning it because it's the very first in a whole line of changes the loc/dub made to their relationship (and it's their first in game interaction ffs) and to Flynn himself as he's perceived as a character. The original is much more expressive of how important they are to each other in a lot of various ways.

Inserting the JP audio version of the following scene with Flynn here.

And... the following one from there.

This was changed to "damn, we if lose our balance...". I know they did it because Yuri had just fallen over, but I'm including this one because the context isn't... really the same thing to me?

This loc change is a bit odd to me. They had him saying something along the lines of "she is a princess after all" in the loc, regarding the council backing her.

The original context is more like, the council is backing her and he's hearing it directly from Ioder and he probably doubts Ioder would lie like that or about that, cementing that yes, she truly is, like he suspected, a princess, but it's almost still a bit odd to know. It's sort of like, he knew/had suspicions but hearing it directly from Ioder just confirms it for certain.

The loc just made it sound like well yeah, it's obvious they'd want to back her, she's a princess... but Ioder is a prince, so that doesn't explain why they're not backing him. She is a princess after all, so of course they'd back her... but what's stopping them from backing the prince?

Another weird one for me. In the loc Yuri says that "even the Commandant was a little in over his head", when he actually... really wasn't? All he did was step in. Things got bad enough that he had to, but he wasn't in over his head. Not sure how or why the loc ended up with that.

An example of the loc having a habit of just adding in random lines that didn't actually exist (and in this case the one added didn't even contextually make sense. This was no thank you from him, this was literally him making Yuri do something for him because he was going to ask Flynn for a favor and ended up with Yuri in the cell instead).

Another super weird one in the loc. They had Yuri saying Flynn was "too" late, implying he hadn't made it in time, but he did. He made it just before the battle started, but the original context only says he's late, not too late (which makes sense given that they were ready to fight but hadn't started yet).

This was changed to Yuri just mentioning there was one way they could get out of there without actually saying what it was, and Judith saying if he thinks it might work what's the harm in trying it out. Not sure why they changed Yuri literally telling her his plan, so... again, a super weird change that I don't get why they didn't just keep the context the way it was.

Third image was changed to "someone get me away from this psycho", which... I also don't get why they put that there unless they just wanted so much flavor text that they wanted to change the whole "they're in a fight and he's telling her not to come over here because he's pissed at her because they're fighting" part of the fake fight they had going on.

Not one I have a huge problem with, but definitely good examples of them going out of their way to change just... perfectly normal stuff that literally has no reason to be changed? Some of it is flavor text and some of it feels over the top for me. Stuff that makes me like... why would you change that when there was no reason to? Could be more of a personal pet peeve of mine, but I just don't like unnecessary changes when there was nothing wrong or odd about the original text and doesn't at all come off odd in English. Unfortunately Vesperia got littered with those.

I didn't feel like getting a whole video for this, but basically Judith gives a little laugh instead of just the more upset/distressed(?) sound she made in the dub. Feels more fitting imo to keep up the "lie" Yuri started for her. The dub makes it seem more like she feels guilty, versus here she's giving a little forced giggle to go along with it. Again, a change I'm not sure why they put in.

Ngl I get completely different vibes from these. The JP comes across more as concern, rather than... treating them like they're some mob on the loose...?

Once again, this gives off negative vibes toward Flynn as a character imo.

Here Judith gives more of a reason for coming with them, which they changed in the loc to "with the circumstances being what they are, this is just how things turned out". Reasonably, she didn't have to stick around after they ran from Dahngrest, but here she gives a quick "reason".

The loc changed this to "I'll bet he is". They were just told he's the current magistrate in Heliord, and all Yuri says here expresses he's letting it sink in and realizing exactly why all this is happening here. It's not a huge story beat or anything that gets changed, but it's an example of changing things that don't need to be changed as if trying to play things up in a way that... doesn't feel necessary to me? In this case the situation is kind of dawning on Yuri as he realizes how bad this situation could be/why it's like it is, but in the loc it comes across as more just unimpressed and "of course he'd do that".

An unfortunate, classic moment of them changing how much Yuri believes in and trusts Flynn. They changed this to "gotta run, Flynn!" and he just... leaves. I'm sorry but in what universe does "leave the rest to you" equal "gotta run"???

This one is one of those cases where the localization text was super awkward and wonky, and worse, they actually voiced it that way (like "we have guild's job to deal with". Yes, they actually voiced it that way too on top of everything else grammatically wonky with the entire conversation that they didn't bother fixing when the DE came out).

Also here, they changed what Yuri says about Cumore and Flynn. "I don't know how I could explain this to Flynn" doesn't, at least to me, carry the same weight as Yuri actually feeling ashamed (in the loc he says "what a shame", but does not express shame, versus him saying "how pathetic" and expressing shame in feeling pathetic) and saying he can't even face Flynn because Cumore got away. The thing is, Yuri does tend to posture, so when he fails at something, it hits him pretty hard.

And let's be honest, this just hits way harder than "he will get what he deserves".

Interestingly, Yuri could also fall into the category of viewing himself as sinful later on, which I talk about in my favorites post and the usage of "crime" and "sin" within the JP context.

Not particularly important, but just another (more mild) case and example of how the loc just randomly changed tone/mood/wording for no reason.

Another case of Yuri being more aggressive in the dub than he actually was. Here, all he says is just a plain statement. In the dub, he has an attitude about it and says it in a tone that's more insulting that Ioder didn't know about Heracles.

This isn't the only case of dub Yuri acting aggressively toward Ioder when he wasn't supposed to be and we'll get to that, but Ioder is another similar case of the dub making Yuri unnecessarily vocally rude (despite that Ioder is very polite toward Yuri).

(I left out the subtitles because all they did was copy the Eng localization, which kinda defeats the point of this post LOL. This will be the case going forward for any same circumstances.)

This one's a more interesting tidbit to me and less of a harmful change (i.e. I find that a lot of if not most changes relative to Flynn do more harm than good when compared with the original context). Basically it's saying "sweet mask and sharp eyes", implying Flynn's sweet face is a mask and saying it contrasts with his sharp eyes. I could get into a whole rant about why I love that in relation to some side material, but even in the game itself, there's the knight Flynn with his sweet, polite side and his real side that only shows when he's around Yuri (basically, who Flynn has to be for his job and who he actually is as a person, which he only gets to be around someone who knows the real him).

I'd guess this got changed in the loc because they weren't sure how to word it, though there's no mention of "heartthrob" here at all and instead actually says "sweet mask" as if, again, to say his sweetness is just a mask. It's actually a very interestingly accurate representation of his character - how he tends to not be himself when he's being "knight Flynn", and how that sweet face is contrasted by the look in his eyes (which they say, you know, eyes are the windows to the soul, so this would imply the sweet face is the mask and the eyes are the real Flynn. And of course, this Flynn is implied to show himself in his sparring with Yuri in Aurnion, where sword fighting is the best way to express himself. This isn't to say Flynn being a nice person in and of itself is a lie, but that his overly polite, respectful, kind knight side is a sweet mask contrasted to the man who loves to fight and has a sharp look in his eyes)

For now, we'll be back at Mantaic in the next post (due to image per post limit).

[saaltskies]

i was gonna share my xenoblade thoughts the next day because i was full of them but very tired however it is the next day and i forgot how to thought

[mariathechosen1]

Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!

[bitofanupsidedowner]

we're past the appropriate rejection window honestly. remember how steve is rejected by robin in the same season he develops feelings for her? or how dustin is symbolically rejected by max in the season he develops feelings for her? that's because it would have been a super weird choice to build it up for a really long time and then end it with a rejection.

there's a reason why in season three when joyce rejects hopper, we all immediately know it isn't a real rejection, even though they're fighting, she's grieving and planning to leave, and he's being unreasonable and unfair. there's reason after reason to think it's not going to happen, but because he's had feelings for her since season one we know it's going somewhere.

who waits on the edge of their seat to watch someone get turned down? who stays subscribed to netflix for that? that kind of thing would not be interesting, it would just be a confusing way to spend the increasingly limited time right before your show ends. penultimate season. every scene has to mean something bigger, all the way down to lucas talking about new coke or mike trying a new kind of pizza.

in writing you primarily only want to wait and build up to things if the result is going to be worth waiting for. rejection of the perpetually tortured gay kid is predictable and doesn't function to do much at all story wise. easy to write around, too, but they did the opposite. they built will's character around this.

they also have no need to dip back into the rejection pool narratively, doesn't add to the story. especially this late into the game. (sidenote, weird how people were not nearly as sure robin was going to be rejected despite her love interest being mirrored to mike, significantly less developed, and introduced so late, but i digress)

if they wanted mike to reject will, it should have been during the van scene. he should have given mike the painting and said something along the lines of, "i know you don't feel the same, but i really want you to know how el sees you, how we all see you. you're the heart. we'd fall apart without you." it would have still been sad but it would have been an ending.

because plotlines need to end! they need to end when it makes sense for them to, not before or after. dragging it along means they either realize they have something worth dragging, or have deliberately decided to prolong a plot point past its logical conclusion for the sole purpose of milking every last second of misery they can out of will, which would be needlessly cruel and so, so gratuitous.

it's not like the van scene NEEDED to happen exactly how it happened. any scene that is solely character driven with no impact on the plot can be rewritten over and over and changed into whatever it has to be. it was written as the most romantic mike moment in any season, and it was filmed and lit and directed extremely specifically. zero accidents.

robin and vickie was unnecessary without a plan. mike and will was unnecessary unless they have a plan.

so they must have a plan. if mike was going to reject will, it had to be in season four. but mike didn't reject will. not at all. he was actually very, very moved by what will had to say, he just didn't entirely realize what it was he was saying.

in fact, they made sure that this plotline was not just unsolved, but that it was obligated to come back, by having it go against the character's most consistent moral line of friends don't lie. and gave it to the character who, in his introductory scene, refuses to lie. dishonesty has genuine ramifications in this show, and will's is attached to a physical (treasured) object that has to come back into play. they can't sweep it under the rug and mike can't reject will without it coming off as... just... far too late.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: The Shape of Story

by Christina Wodtke 

Start with Conflicted Characters

The character needs a goal, a motivation and a conflict.

The goal can be alien to your audience,

but the motivation must be shared by them, and

the conflict creates struggles that increase engagement.

Paint a Picture

Details transport you into the story.

The world disappears and you have a story play in your head.

Even though there are no literal pictures.

But be careful—Too many details and the story gets bogged down.

Make the Protagonist Suffer

“Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them - in order that the reader may see what they are made of.” (Kurt Vonnegut, How to Write a Great Story)

And when it can’t get any worse, make it worse before it gets better

The two key moments that create the peak of excitement in a story is the darkness before the dawn, and the dawn. 

The climax is the moment when the protagonist is either rescued or rescues themself.

In older tales, we saw a lot of Deux ex Machina (the hand of god) rescuing the hero. A hero could be rescued by luck, a partner, another hero…but modern audiences strongly prefer stories where the protagonist helps themself.

Resolution is Boring, Keep it Short

Interest grows with every additional conflict, but once the hero figures out the solution, our fascination collapses.

Don’t natter on while the audience’s mind is drifting.

Also Consider:

You need a good inciting incident to move your protagonist to action.

A setting is more than a place, it’s a situation and a moment in time. A vivid place has details.

Modern audiences prefer “return home changed” to “return home the same.”

EXAMPLES: ARCHETYPAL PLOTS ALONG THE ARC

Boy Meets Girl

Internal conflict is always satisfactory (e.g., she believes love interferes with his career, he believes love interferes with his beer.)

The crises usually revolves around betrayal — lying, cheating — and the climax shows it was a misunderstanding or we get atonement.

The struggle is always about them being separated.

The resolution is about binding them more tightly together than ever.

The Quest

You seek things, and find yourself.

Return home changed and don’t pass go.

Common elements include companions, a mentor, great losses and extreme character arcs.

The Underdog

Even though they do not have a shot in hell, the underdog wants something. They want it so bad.

Common elements include an enemy who blocks their path, and a coach who helps them forward.

In this case, they do not return home changed but rather move into a new life that fits their changed self.

Coming of Age

Naive person has the world teaches them a hard lesson, and they become a better person for it.

Struggle revolve around life sucking and then sucking more.

The hero grows and becomes better because of it, and via new understandings becomes competent.

In some tragedies, the world breaks them.

They can return home changed, but more often they move to a new life they have earned.

More Examples. Justice & Pursuit:

Weaving Multiple Plots:

Weaving multiple plots together to make subplots can further increase tension.

Multiple plots woven together makes the whole story not only unique but very compelling.

Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[senseandaccountability]

HR department romance plots

I just… beyond the surface level of enjoying a new game with new relationship dynamics to explore, I really can’t feel much about the DAV companions or their romances.

They all just seem so disconnected from the story, from Rook (who in turn is entirely disconnected from all kinds of feelings because Rook is just Employee Of the Year), from the world, from themselves. I feel like Cole here, looking at them and saying in my gentle, fleeting voice: even the dwarves don’t really remember dwarves. It really feels like the interpersonal relationships are written by the HR person who sits with you as union rep to tell you that you should use a positive language, that "we are all simply employees here, it doesn't matter what title you have", give a little pep talk about teamwork and how to get the job done. That's what we're here for. Everyone's equal. We all want the same thing here, your boss is your friend. Have you tried talking to this person, see their side of things, mmmm? It's just... yeah, they're cute, all of them. But why do they like each other? Why do they want to be with Rook? Who are they even in relation to the world of Thedas, what do they believe in, what have they overcome, what do they hate, what sort of prejudices do they carry around? I have no idea.

And since I’m also replaying DAI again, I wanted to compare these romances to my canon romances in DAI.  With Blackwall, you immediately get a sense of attraction and a sort of flirting on his part that suggests this is something he falls into quite easily - “you know a lot about girls” to quote Cole - BUT it’s also something he really, really thinks he shouldn’t be doing now. Why? He is tied to the Warden plot, if you bring him along you get a sense of a man hiding shit but you don’t really understand what, and he still comes to see you (flying/climbing up your balcony wall idk) because he can’t step away. You get to tell him he’s a good man even though you know shit about that at this point, like with Anders in DA2 you can give your PC over to this passion/love despite knowing that there’s something off, something potentially harmful or dangerous. There is conflict, there are things that jar, that can even make you uncomfortable. 

Blackwall as a character is open and compassionate. He approves of mercy, shows mercy, he isn't judgmental of others. In sharp and delicious contrast Blackwall’s crime is vile. He isn’t bound by any sort of oath, he can back down, there is no greater good whatsoever in his actions. It’s inexcusable. And yet. YET. You can CONTINUE THE ROMANCE. He killed a wagon full of kids, THEN RAN AWAY AND LET HIS MEN TAKE THE BLAME and hates himself so much that he tries to become someone else by erasing his previous self from the face of the earth. You can still kiss him and tell him you want him to live and redeem himself. It’s fucking incredible to think about this in the light of Veilguard actually. Your LI, the child murdering coward. 

With Iron Bull you have the doubts all spread out on the table. He’s a spy, how could you ever trust him? He also doesn’t respond to your flirting, why the hell not when you hear through ambient dialogue that he’s fucking half the chantry, isn’t he supposed to be a fuckboy? But he’s fun, he’s a mystery, he’s got fascinating banter with everyone, he’s brought his found family along, he’s a Qunari who at least somewhat believes in the Qun - he’s got AMAZING conversations with Solas that characterizes Bull as deeply intelligent (and Solas as much more caring than he’d let on) and knowledgeable about surprising things like architecture. Cole, as always, gives us more insight into Bull’s mind along the way and even before the offer to ride the Bull, the idea of him has been through some adjustments. You change his idea about a lot of things and in return, Bull challenges your idea of him, your idea of the Qun, your idea of the world and possibly, depending on how you react to his romance, your idea of intimate relationships. The game’s writing allowed me to imagine a rather frumpy circle mage in her mid 30s reluctantly forming a friendship with this strange fellow, only to find herself very much attracted to him, only to find herself being cared for in a way she would never have let anyone do before simply because Bull told her that was the only way he’d be with her. This is how we’ll do it, are you in? Your LI, the service top Qunari spy who is terrified he’ll run mad without his belief system to dictate his actions. 

And Solas. I mean mythical love stories culminating in mythical endings aside, what I really fell for in this relationship was the refreshing dynamic not of enemies to lovers but of two souls just sort of connecting instantly during strange events, taking a few hard looks at each other and going oh shit it’s you, you get me HOW is it possible you get me when nobody else does? There’s so much external drama surrounding them, which is why I personally LOVE and ADORE how calm their internal connection actually is. They know, so early in the game, that this is it. You’re my home, you understand the bones of me, you ask questions no one else thinks of asking, you care about the world in a way I haven’t seen anyone else do. He is LITERALLY the only one who understands your Lavellan when they make her the herald, when she protests and they keep pushing and pulling and sing their song after Haven, and Solas is there to be sarcastic about it. If nothing else, I'd fall in love with that. And there’s this sense of impossibility from the very beginning, a sense of it being almost unreal because the first kiss is in the Fade, the second is in a frenzy where Solas goes from 0 to I LOVE YOU, MY HEART and then leaves and you know, you know how this is coded and YET - he seemed so wise and kind and sad, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth. And even with this connection of souls, things chafe - he’s an absolute bastard about certain things, he mocks your heritage and you don’t know yet that it’s because a huge guilt blanket rests on top of him since thousands of years back, you can just argue back and receive his disapproval. He says it’s selfish of him to start anything with you yet he does - WHY DO YOU DO THAT, SAD EGG? Your LI, the ancient god of rebellion, treachery and lies, depending on the story. 

Even beyond my favourites, there are conflicts. Sera is A LOT (affectionate) if you're an elf, with Cullen you get a substance abuse story-line tied to his general dismay about his past as a really fucked up templar, Dorian has personal trauma and cultural prejudice he struggles with for the entire game, Vivienne is so complex half the fandom hates her and has very awkward and uncomfortable banters with almost everyone (save for Bull because he treats her like he would a tamassran), Cassandra is constantly challenged in her personal beliefs, very clearly reflected in her conversations with Solas and Cole has a whole personal plotline about deeply existentialist matters. What does it mean to be alive? Who is a person and who gets to decide that? He could have been a person, Varric says. Isn't he already? Does this unit have a soul? Not to mention that Cole functions chiefly as a speaker of truths, bringing a lot of complexity to the others. 

DAI is not perfect by any means but I feel like I know these bastards. I feel like my PC or even I could actively dislike some of them, because they are written to create dynamic conflicts inside and outside of their own arcs. I can write fic about them, I can imagine what they're doing during the events of DAV because I know them.

Because they are written like actual people in a world where some people have power over others and some people have been raised with a certain belief system and some people just have shitty takes on society, may they learn. 

[babybluey]

Parents, Freedom and how Carol Holiday has been present since the beginning

Carol is already climbing up there as my favorite character in chapter 4, if not of the whole game, and we literally just met her lol

But because of this I’ve been thinking about her a lot… and I realized that she’s been foreshadowed since literally the beginning of the game and it’s driving me actually insane.

Like, since the very first chapter, the bosses have all had this thing where they’re just incredibly shitty parents. And when they’re not parents they’re just incredibly shitty irresponsible adults.

In chapter 1 we meet king, a tyrannical ruler who doesn’t think twice about using his young son to further his own ends, and is a slimey coward to fakes remorse to take advantage of ralsei’s good nature.

This trend continues in chapter 2: Queen is an overbearing mother that, while genuinely wanting to do good for the lightners, assumes herself as smarter than them and forces all her decisions on them with no thoughg on whether they even agree.

Tenna is a bit more shaky, but since the TV dark world was created by Kris, I think Tenna is either:

        ⁃       representing kris’ repressed trauma and loneliness over now being alone in a once warm and lively house, wanting to get those days back (Tenna child of divorce memes are so real)

        ⁃       More generally Tenna acts like a very troubled parents who uses their kids (the lightners) as emotional support and validation instead of actually dealing with his own insecurities and problems, alienating them in the process

I personally think both of these observations are true.

The titan’s in chapter 4 also produce children versions of themselves, though I think that’s pushing it as the titan is more if a force of distruction than a character.

But who do we get introduced in chapter 4 who fits this theme? Carol Holiday that beautiful soul

The MOMENT, I swear, THE MOMENT SHE WALKS IN, THE WHOLE ATMOSPHERE CHANGES IN A DIME. It’s crazy, we’ve met tyrannical rulers and wire-mind controlling dictators, and we were forced to live the TV apocalypse by a man child, but this random, average, boring everyday woman is the single most hatable character in the whole game.

Because the tyrant, the dictator, the manchild, THEY ARE ALL HER!

Since chapter 1, we’ve been establishing this oppressive parental force in the form of the bosses, they’ve all been terrible but ultimately, before ch 4, it’s all been a game, you could defeat them. You can’t defeat Carol, she isn’t a game. Her mere presence is a blizzard. The adults don’t take her seriously, but Noelle, her own daughter, is terrified of her. Her whole character arc in ch 2 was standing up to Queen, but she can’t even look her own mother in the eye.

When it was revealed her and Kris are working together my jaw actually dropped. Because it means she’s been involved in the plot since the very beginning, even though we could never see her. If she’s the knight (which I don’t think she is, but this can’t be dismissed) it wouldn’t be out of pocket that the chapter bosses have been manifesting as they are because of her disposition, since chapter 4 establishes that the lighter that creates a fountain DOES influence the behavior and appearance of the darkners in some way.

Hey, this can work even if the knight is dess (which I believe), because she could be projecting her feelings of her mother on them as she’s making the fountains, intentionally or not.

And like… what better way to represent the game’s theme of denied choices, of having only one path you can follow through regardless of whether it’s actually good for you, of whether it’s beneficial at all, of whether you want it, than through an oppressive parent?

Like, being born is literally the shittiest gamble of all. You need to beg on your hands and knees that you’re gonna end up with decent enough people as your caretakers, because Jesus Christ, if they’re not, you’re FUCKED.

You can obviously still have a great life, but your parents will affect your life FOREVER, you have a part with them with you wherever you go, every single little action from them can cause a shift in you inexperienced soaking child brain that affects your ENTIRE LIFE. And that’s just the people, the economic status they come with can be even more deterministic of the kind of life you can have, most people will stay in the exact social class as their parent. Throughout history you’d have the same exact job as your parent, regardless of your talents or passions.

And goddamn, Carol SUCKS, and she’s obvious she’s got kris right where she wants them. I struggle and won’t put a definition on them yet, since the nature of their relationship is so vague, but I really don’t blame people for interpreting it as grooming, it does NOT look good. Even if kris was super on board on whatever the plan is, it’s obvious that they’re relationship with Susie and Ralsei is deeply affecting them and they not be so keen on going on with everything anymore, but they can’t do anything about it, with or without soul, they’re never free, there’s only 1 path.

I don’t think Carol is going to be complitely unredeemable, she could have very sympathetic motives, but her actions have an horrible effect of every single character in story. Like bro literally all the major characters have parents issues in some way!!!! And all the parents, while good people, fail to properly relate and understand them.

All of them except one: the Old Man.

Since his earliest scenes, this old turtle has proven to be the next best thing to warm bread. He’s so amazing he makes me cry.

He’s a happy, wise, truly free person that doesn’t need anything else from life, and wants the kids to be as fulfilled as he is, but, and this is important: THROUGH THEIR OWN MERITS.

He knows the kids need help, and he gives it to them, but not by imposing his views on them, or acting like he knows better just because he’s older, he knows the kids are smart and he lets them come to their own conclusion naturally.

He encourages them all throughout the chapter to not follow a prophecy just because it has been written, that they can write their own story, that’s the beauty of stories! He’s the FIRST character to suggest that the prophecy doesn’t have to be followed, and he himself as a character is a complete coincidence! He wasn’t meant to appear, since as the representation of a loved one he can only present himself in extremely specific circumstances, but now that he’s there he’s not gonna make any moment go to waste, he’s gonna guide these kids and make amends with his son regardless of the fact he’s literally dead and it wasn’t meant to be!

His appearance could legit be the catalyst for the prophecy being destroyed and it was all an accident. I’m obsessed with it.

There’s also the whole thing with Susie and her freedom, and how that so easily also corresponds to teenage rebellion to authority, she’s writing her own life dammit!!! Fuck you mom!!!! Fuck you society!!!!

This could have been the same for Dess as well at first, before it turned into a more negative, destructive, and selfish kind of freedom, but this is more speculative.

I’m so fucking excited for how this whole thing gets explored, there are so many possibilities and they’re all peak. The lighters could team with knight Dess to defeat Carol, or maybe Carol and the Knight are working together with Kris, or maybe Kris and Carol are working AGAINST the knight but for different reasons that the heroes, it’s all so hype.

These are my two cents but I love stories that take the small, private and personal and turn it into a metaphor for larger, more philosophical themes and I’m so glad deltarune is looking to be one of those stories. 

Susie kill that hag.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/784181809513644032/in-fandom-racism-discussions-in-cases-where-an

Never mind that many, many of Hollywood’s most pernicious problems are in the cinematography, lighting, and editing.

I want to hear how the cinematography, lighting, and editing affect things! Can you explain or link some articles?

--

Sure!

The big thing to understand about film is that there is such a thing as "film grammar", and this is a lot of how we read meaning into film.

Think of it like when comic book ladies get drawn in the broken spine pose so you can see T&A at once and some defensive clown is like "Um, um, the comic said she was the main hero! She can't be objectified meat!" But the dudes are not drawn like that. It doesn't matter what the comic said. It matters what it showed.

We know how to read that art even if we aren't consciously aware of it.

We also know how to read film.

A character looks down. We see a shot of a book on a table. We know the book is what they're looking at. A character walks out of a door. We see them in another room. We know it's just a second later and a room away, not three years later on another continent. We see a soft dissolve and we know we've gone into a flashback. How do we know? Film grammar.

The problem is that because this has not been taught in a verbal and explicit way, we often have trouble articulating why film feels a certain way.

That makes it easy for a film (show, whatever) to undercut a character while pretending that isn't happening. It also makes it easy for somebody with a few one-liners to feel huge, and no, it's not just fans randomly picking for no reason.

--

The classic early concept everyone talks about is the Kuleshov Effect, a.k.a. the experiment that showed how/that montage works. Basically, if you take the same clip of a stoic-looking actor and pair it with three very different things, people will talk about the subtlety of the acting. He looks so sad when looking at the dead baby! So hungry when looking at the soup! etc.

Another important concept is that closeups of faces are where a lot of the film's story is told. It's often not the dialogue that's being spoken but some other character's reaction to that dialogue that matters.

Part of film grammar is that breaking the forth wall feels weird (i.e. looking directly into the camera and making eye contact with the audience), but looking very close to the camera is intimate, while being shown in profile is not. (Being shown from behind is POV-y though and makes us feel like we're with the character.)

Film has POV, or rather "narrative perspective". It's more complicated and more prone to changing than POV in a novel, but it's there. If you cut to a particular character's reaction to show which dialogue mattered or you cut to them having a thought and then end the scene, they're important. If you cut after they decide something or exit, they're "driving the cut" and we're "with" them. In effect, they're the POV character.

Cool, sexy action dudes with a lot of abs are hot. They punch things in wide shots. But for a single perfect tear woobie, we need a closeup. We need interiority.

This is often not granted to the characters of color or the female characters unless they are definitively the lead or are in an ensemble that primarily focuses on nonwhite characters/female characters/etc. Your MCUs and your ensemble cop shows might do a good job with everyone, or they might prioritize a particular white guy while paying lip service to the idea that the whole ensemble matters.

--

A lot of us were taught to analyze writing in school and/or we've just spent way more time doing that on our own. It is therefore tempting to look at a script and make too much of it. But the staging is incredibly important. Lindsay Ellis has a video about Transformers where she shows a scene where the girl is saying plot important stuff that makes it clear her character is interesting... while leaning over the engine and being ogled by the camera. Nobody remembers the dialogue. They remember her butt.

Characters can be standing behind others in group shots. Characters can be only in group shots.

If the script tells you that all five of your ensemble are important and they all have equal lines, but only White Guy McScenestealer gets a closeup, then he is the main character, and he is the only one who matters.

Specifically, he is the one whose feelings matter.

The reason it's all of cinematography, lighting, and editing is that the editor is the one actually putting those closeups in or juxtaposing the characters in a way that highlights them... but for them to do that, the correct shot needs to exist. That shot also needs to look good enough.

Not only do a lot of racist, sexist crews fail to get adequate coverage, but many of them were also taught by people who never had to light dark skin and thus they also do not know how to light it or shoot it. This doesn't apply to all POC, obviously, but it's the kind of thing that can fuck up a shoot with good intentions. If the dark-skinned black lead's closeups are lit like shit and their facial expressions are the least visible out of everyone's in the group shots, the audience won't be able to feel their emotions or connect with them. The editor might leave out a lot of their coverage simply because it looks less professional even if they'd originally wanted to highlight that character.

The director probably has final say on the cut in an indie film, producers for TV or a lot of big budget stuff, but you know what I mean: someone made this choice at the cutting stage, and it might be going against what the script was trying to do.

Prioritizing the character of color needs to happen during all phases of the filmmaking or they're going to get shafted. Ditto filming women like leads and not pointing the camera at their butts all the time, etc. etc. (Substitute whatever minority. I'm sure you'll find the same pattern with non-Han characters in Chinese media.)

It's not that hard. Leverage managed to light for the pastiest, most light-reflecting blown-out shot nightmare and someone with pretty dark skin. The key thing to understand is that lighting well for this scenario takes a little more time than lighting two people with the same skin tone, and time is money.

Other types of choice may not take more time, but they do require a director or cinematographer who's really on top of things to go "No, don't do the stereotypical shot. That's telling the wrong story."

The camera tells us what to think, and what it is usually saying is "Sidekick", "Love interest", "Person number three who is here to infodump and whose feelings do not matter".

I made a couple of little video essays to try to explain this stuff more clearly. They both use The Losers, one to show how POV/objectification works and the other to show how dialogue and even minutes on screen are much less important than how a character is presented.

Aisha is the Object; Clay is the Subject

Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez: Human Exclamation Point

--

In my experience, fandom actually does not elevate five-second randos all that often. Fandom likes the character who cried in a closeup.

Who that character is is neither random nor equitable.

[blackberry-sage-tea]

Like, I hate Veilguard. This won't be a surprise to people who have followed me specifically for my Veilguard critical posts but I recognize I have gained a few followers since then, and those followers specifically followed me for Dorianposting with Veilguard gifs. Please don't take it personally that I hated it.

I didn't like the game mostly for its writing. I won't go into a long spiel because this post is not about that, but what I dislike about the game is mirrored in a lot of longtime DA fans who were disappointed with Veilguard, and it reflects a lot of the problems with the writing that the article touches on.

And I don't think "the DA team was mistreated" contradicts "the DA team wrote a terrible game", but…COME ON.

There's something so unjust about it. That EA and Bioware and the ME team came in at the end of development and said "this needs to be a serious and gripping narrative, fans want a serious and gripping narrative", and yes, they are correct, that's what we (fans like me) wanted and the game didn't have enough of it, but also like. As though the DA team didn't say this from the very start?

The very first version of Dragon Age 4 was going to be a serious and gripping narrative! It was going to have the worldbuilding we wanted, it was going to expand on the things we were interested in, it was probably going to have a million terrible and enraging plot points but it was going to be a Dragon Age game and it was going to have choices and conflict and everything fans of the series wanted. And it was NOT the DA team's fault that it wasn't that. Like maybe the people left behind at the end didn't know how to write a fantasy game but it wasn't their fault that they were the only people left.

Like, they argued over this. They were fired over this. People who had been with Bioware for YEARS resigned over this. The ones who were left were told to make it a multiplayer so they started designing a multiplayer. Then when they were probably half or even most of the way through making the multiplayer they were told to make it a "broad-appeal" singleplayer. Not even "restart development and make a singleplayer" but "take the game you were already making and turn it into a singleplayer". Do you know how insane this production standard is??? If you look at pretty much any other game, you are supposed to know what you are making BEFORE YOU START MAKING IT. It's like being told to paint a portrait, then told after you're done thumbnailing for the portrait to instead make an elaborate pastoral scene, and then told as you are layering paint on the canvas "actually we want a portrait".

And someone comes in and is like "why is this portrait in landscape orientation have you never made a game before in your life".

Like, yeah I get annoyed when I see comments from the DA writers that imply "this character was a two-dimensional caricature on purpose" but it's kind of like. Seeing the Mass Effect lead crowing about how "Mass Effect 5 isn't going to have a tone change like Dragon Age did" gives me the same fury, you know? Like, what do you know? You were the golden child. You got what you wanted when you asked for it.

I liked Mass Effect, but the second the story was over I stopped caring about it. Dragon Age is the thing that's endured. And the comment about the differences in ME team structure compared to Dragon Age? Yeah. I can see that. Dragon Age is a series comprised of multiple viewpoints and narratives. Sometimes this means that the narrative contradicts itself. Sometimes you have characters where you can tell they were handled with love and care by one writer only for the next one to completely change who they are. It is what it is. It's part of what makes the series so compelling and also what makes it so terrible. I'm going to miss it forever. I don't think we're ever getting it back even if they try to make another one because the people who made this series what it is, who understood what it was about, they're gone.

Anyway. I guess I'll just die mad about it.

[sunniedesi]

The Decay of Andy and Leyley: the bad, the ugly and the terrible

Now that it’s been a while since I finished the Decay route, I think I’m ready to finally analyse this chapter as a whole. I’ve collected my thoughts and read through a couple of people’s opinions here and there… just to be utterly disappointed. I knew casual fans generally didn’t understand much of the subtext for tcoaal, but damn are they completely lost with this one. Maybe it’s the fact that I only interact with a small echo chamber of the fandom that does get it, but after all the terrible takes I’ve had the displeasure of seeing, I think it’s time I leave my own. There is quite a lot to comment on, since this part of Decay builds upon several plot points of the story: the quarantine, the entity, lord unknown, and namely, the main duo’s upbringing and relationship. While I’d love to pick apart every nook and cranny of this episode, this analysis will only focus on Andrew and Ashley’s relationship, as that alone has plenty of things to dissect for one post. I will also comment on some of the changes done to the previous episodes and what that could mean for the next routes. (More below the cut, this will be a long one).

But before I begin anything I want to start with a disclaimer of the obvious; yes, this game is fucked up and the relationship is toxic, horribly so (wow, who would’ve thunk it?). If things weren’t messed up before then they certainly are now, so I understand why nobody would want to touch this game with a ten-foot pole. In fact, I’ve noticed many let’s players who’ve previously played it either not mentioning it or going as far as to delete every video they’ve made on it (not dropping names here but I had a couple of videos in my watch later taken down mere minutes after I saved them because of this). I often see people saying “it’s just fiction” as a defense for talking about this, which is totally valid, but my view of it is a bit different. It is fiction, yes, but also something that could very easily happen in real life and that a lot of people could (unfortunately) relate to. That’s what makes it uncomfortable and gross, and that is exactly the reason why we should talk about it. As per words of the author “although unpleasant, true [CHAOS AND MAYHEM!!!] can only be achieved by unearthing the root cause of one's issues and addressing the underlying decay.” Even if you think it’s icky and gross that doesn’t disqualify it from existing. Moreover, it calls for analysis as to why it makes you feel gross, which might I add is an impulse reaction to something much deeper than a simple “nooo they’re related,” as there are many layers to this from a moral, ethical and psychosexual perspective.

So… let’s talk about it. 

The Bad: Andy and Leyley

The beginning of the episode tells us a lot about the upbringing of our characters, though most of it was writing on the wall if you paid attention during episode 2. We play as Andrew, examining his psyche and going through the motions of how to be a walking disappointment. As he cooks, cleans, excels at school and sets order in his family, he accomplishes a level of independence many don’t reach until adulthood, all before the age of 10. Yet every single mistake, as small or out of his control as it may be, is a cause for reprimanding. Renee doesn’t spare the emotional rod with him per se, expecting Andrew to go above and beyond for tasks that she should be responsible for. And whenever her live-in maid complains or dares to set an even playing field, such attempts are crushed by repressing him further into his shell. Berating, insulting, belittling him.

Nothing he does is ever enough, and it can’t be,  lest giving him hope of ever meeting others’ expectations, of ever doing better. The more suppression, the less of his independence, say or personality, the easier to control. The less of Andrew the better. And as such, Andy was born: a sorry replacement for Andrew’s essence, easily malleable and capable of becoming everything you want him to be. Many believe Andy is a result of Leyley, but really

Andy was a nightmare of Renee’s own making. And speaking of nightmares, Leyley’s origins aren’t much different. Having a second child as a middle finger to your disapproving family is no good if you don’t intend to raise said child. But what’s the need when Andy is there to do it? Disciplining a kid aching for attention is far too taxing for Renee, especially one with as much attitude as Leyley. So, instead of inflicting more trauma as she’s done with Andy, she lets him pass his own over to her, creating a direct pipeline to the cycle of abuse. It should be noted that in one of the new visions available we see that Renee is an older sister herself, and was expected to also go above and beyond for her sister despite being completely disregarded by her family.

In other words, her treatment of Andy and complete neglect of Leyley are anything but surprising. It’s all she’s ever known. (Not excusing Renee, I hate her with a passion, but it’s important to know where everything is coming from).

Funnily enough, Leyley’s personality isn’t as innate as many believe. It’s easy to see her as the “difficult child,” but in reality, everything she does is a cry for help. We’re dealing with a lonely, undisciplined girl, disregarded by the world as a crybaby and a freak, left to be raised by trash TV and her clueless older brother. The result of this terrible concoction is a self-loathing, marshmallow spine of a boy and a lost, shrieky viper of a girl. Neither can like each other, because they don’t like themselves. And neither can help the other, because they refuse to see themselves for what they are. These are Andy and Leyley, the antagonists of the story.

As much as people have difficulty separating Andy and Leyley from Andrew and Ashley it must be noted that, from a narrative perspective, these are entirely different characters. Andy and Leyley are the immature, worst traits of our main duo personified: Andy is a paranoid pushover garnering resentment every time his buttons are pushed, while Leyley is nothing more than a scared little girl, terrified of abandonment and terrified of change. The more they push and pull, the more they test and bring out the worst in each other, the more they decay. But if these are Andy and Leyley, then who are Andrew and Ashley?

The Ugly: Andrew and Ashley

I believe the cliffhanger route is where we get to see the most of these two, though glimpses of them can be seen in the Shots and Such route. Andrew we know (thanks to his lengthy pov) is a crude and relentless antisocial who can’t stand anyone. He only does so out of keeping appearances, instilled by his mom, but just like her, is incapable of caring for anything. Something Ashley is very quick to point out when they were children.

We also see he’s very manipulative, sly and finds fun in (mentally) messing with people and romanticising the shit of his life, perhaps as a way to feel something other than the misery it bestows upon him. However, not playing nice can only bring trouble, so he hides behind the mask of the innocent pushover (Andy). Needless to say, this is a life full of lies and deception, utterly unsatisfactory. It will never fulfill his true desires and can only push him further into nihilism. But what are his true desires? 

Well, to be seen and understood, the one thing no one’s ever bothered to do. No one except the mess of his own making. Ashley, the girl Andrew raised, is full of wit and charm. As seen in the flashbacks, she’s perceptive and quickly calls bullshit whenever she sees it. She doesn’t play nice, she doesn’t put up a front, she’s everything Andrew could be if he wasn’t afraid to show his true colors. This last bit is why I would argue Andrew is so drawn to her, that and of course all of the trauma bonding. As Andrew says himself, his attraction is pathological, i.e. unreasonable and irrational, a result of his loneliness and conditioning from childhood. And as much as I agree that it is paraphilic in nature, I do believe there is a logical side to his attraction; Ashley is loud, obnoxious and annoying. Carefree and unbothered, the flip-side to his Andy facade. In fact, she hates having to keep up appearances and how everyone around her is a phony. For Andrew, the man that has endured years of suppression and self-loathing, it is a relief, it is liberating to have someone just as bad as him. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid of him. Someone who could meet him at the same level; an equal.

Continuing with Ashley, one of her most emblematic traits is that she���s self-assured and doesn’t care about anything or anyone except for Andrew. This is quite the contrast to Leyley, who is incredibly insecure, selfish and does not care for Andy, only the reassurance he brings. And how do we know Ashley cares about Andrew if Leyley does not? Well…

This flashback is the single most important piece of information we get from the whole chapter. So let’s analyze it from the start. Julia takes Andrew to visit Nina’s grave, bringing back a slew of emotional turmoil he’s still haunted by. He immediately goes home to unpack it with Ashley.

(because god knows he was thinking about her the whole time he was talking to Julia). Ashley shows her first signs of maturity in the conversation that ensues, accurately pointing out the impending doom of Andrew and Julia’s relationship, and being a little more… introspective.

It’s clear that Leyley’s view of relationships is skewed, to say the least. She barely distinguishes romance from platonic love and has a very childish take of sex being "gross and all men want.” I’ve seen many people, before and after this chapter release, theorize that Ashley is asexual, something that’s always bothered me to no end. It’s one thing to just headcanon a character having “x” sexuality for the sake of it, but here people were using a headcanon to explain a critical part of her characterization, one of her Leyley traits. It is reductive and misguided, not to mention a terrible example of what asexuality would actually look like. Because this isn’t an innate characteristic from Ashley, it is a sign of immaturity, and to a certain degree, also insecurity.

Leyley has been conditioned her entire existence to believe she’s loathsome and undesirable, so anyone sticking around would never be out of their own volition. It would have to be a transaction, give and take. If Andy and Leyley marry it would have to be this way, a selfish exchange on both ends. But as she says: “different is fine, sometimes.” This is Ashley talking, taking into consideration Andrew’s needs for once and for all, which is the reason she made a move after he woke up. She understands his needs and is willing to put out for him, thinking maybe it could be good for her too. 

But boy does he fumble hard. Which I don’t blame him for, dude wasn’t in the right headspace at the time. Though this is the moment that set Ashley’s development far, far behind square one. She didn’t take the rejection well. For once she was doing what he wanted, and he pushed her away (mixed signals much). He began being very cold to her afterwards (albeit in a fruitless attempt to repress his feelings, which as we see through the puzzle sequences, the more he crushed his feelings on the outside, the further they spread on the inside). The moment Andrew reached out for her again, a year later might I add, he did it because of Ashley, or rather Leyley, needing to be reprimanded and set on the right track (with the massage parlor job).

This sealed the deal for Ashley that the only way to secure Andrew’s attention was the way that Leyley used to do with Andy: bitch and moan until he pays attention. In other words, it’s Andrew’s fault that Ashley is the way she is… though he’s not entirely aware of it, as seen in parts of his pov. And to a certain extent, Ashley also plays a part into why he’s so apprehensive to the idea of liking her. Her childish nature and refusal to grow up is proof to Andrew that if she were to indulge his desires, it would be to keep him around, but it wouldn’t be reciprocal (which is ultimately what he desires the most). 

This is my main takeaway from the cliffhanger route. I won’t be theorising much on what the outcomes for this route could be (more on why later), though I will be referencing this heavily for the analysis of Shots and Such.    

Also the symbolism in this scene is quite strong (couldn’t fit it into the previous paragraphs but wanted to bring it up anyway).

Her painted nails are trashy, and Julia's nails are painted. Andrew stares in silence as Julia rings away...  

Also:

This is after you destroy the Leyley plushie on the wedding cake scene, to retrieve Ashley's choker (which can later be used to create Andrew's partner... which also grants you a star). Originally, the plushies were watching cartoons, but now that Leyley is gone... something else surfaces. Interestingly enough, if you refuse to destroy it when prompted, the narrator will say "what are you, some Andy?" And if you try again after that, it won't allow to you to tear it apart, saying "you've made your choice." Very strong symbolism there. Let's move onto Shots and Such now.

The Absolutely Terrible: the Decay of Andy and Leyley

A terrible, disgusting, horrifying and necessary ending. Necessary to really discern the differences between Andy/Leyley and Andrew/Ashley, plus why the former will ALWAYS be a pointless, troublesome pairing. They hurt, abuse and tear each other down in the most sadistic and depressive ways possible. Long gone are the days of their playful banter, they are now replaced with just plain ol’ spousal abuse. Even when they try reviving their spark with their quick banter about the vacuums, it is soulless and dry, the damage done to their dynamic far too damming to ignore. 

They are never honest with each other, and they’re always afraid and resentful of the other. The only thing keeping them together is codependency and lame sex that sometimes distracts them from how miserable they feel. The one sex scene in this chapter reads like a dagger to the heart, because it is everything neither of them wanted to happen. Andrew yearned for something reciprocal, for him to be seen. And as much as he begs and pleads for Ashley to understand, Leyley’s fear of abandonment overtakes her, diminishing the little trust she had for him and respect she had for herself. As a result, they both hated the encounter, and the only two solutions are ending themselves or committing to a life of such misery.

In the splat ending, we indulge Andy’s desires of ending it all, and Leyley reluctantly follows, scared and unsatisfied until the bitter end, but unwilling to let go of her Andy. In the Shots and Such ending, we indulge Leyley’s fantasies of a forever union, which turn out to be anything but the ideals she had for Andy and Leyley’s marriage. It is more of the same old horrific abuse, dishonesty and bickering over nothing, with maybe one glimpse of honesty forced out by the alcohol every once in a blue moon. 

No matter the end, they’re both together forever as Andy and Leyley, dragging each other down into the lowest of levels. It’s pointless and bleak, and it certainly sent the fandom into a frenzy. You think the people defending Andrew “I’m normal” Graves or the people saying Ashley “did nothing wrong” were bad? Well, just as this route brought the worst out of the Graves, it also brought out the worst of these fans.

Every time I look into the comments section of a video or discussions for this chapter, it’s a constant shit-flinging contest of who had the worst upbringing, who has the worst personality, who is the most abusive, (which most people seem to be pointing fingers at Ashley for that one). It’s all blah blah blah who’s the woest of the woe. And worst of all, plenty of men (they’re almost always men) saying “Andrew should beat Ashley up some more.” I understand that Ashley’s worst traits as Leyley were amplified in this chapter, but honestly, men who had that takeaway from this chapter disturb me more than the game itself. Heck, even mother-of-the-year Renee calls bullshit on this:   

(context: this is a rhetorical question, the answer being no, obviously.)

Let’s get one thing straight: no character here is worse than the other. They’re both awful, they both beat each other, they both abuse each other and they're both victims of each others’ abuse. The tragedy here is that they are as much victims as they are perpetrators, with no end in sight, because the more one hurts the other, the more retaliation ensues. Characterizing one as the worst is, again, completely reductive and overlooking the point of the ending: nothing gets better because neither got better. We only saw Andy and Leyley in this route, with brief glimpses of Andrew and Ashley, that are quickly crushed by their inability to disengage from their toxic habits.

I think it’s clear to see how Ashley is regressing more into her fears (Leyley), given the threat of being murdered by the only person she has left forced her into that state. She doesn’t want to die, she’s terrified of death, and wants the security she believes Andy will bring her back. Except Andy is the one harboring resentment, as Andrew is the one trying to work past it. And to the people who think we’re playing as Andrew and Leyley in this route because “we chose Andrew,” no we’re not. There’s a reason the beginning of both the Andy and Andrew (shots and such) routes look the same in terms of the area we explore in the demon realm. 

There’s a reason why he keeps devolving further and further into resentment for Leyley. The “Andrew” choice means nothing if Ashley refuses to stop being Leyley. And her regression is reinstated by the selfish decision to kill Andrew in the bullets ending (and yes, I’m calling it selfish, since it is once again denying Andrew of his need to be rid of the Andy and Leyley dynamic). This reinforces Andrew’s belief that Leyley doesn’t want him, that his love is one-sided, and that she doesn’t care for his needs. The moment this choice (shooting Andrew) is set in stone it’s game over for both, because one can’t heal without the other. Again, nothing gets better because neither can get better.

The only difference between both routes is that when we pick Andy, Andrew surrenders. He’s hurt, battered and confused, but Andy’s instinctual need to please Leyley reigns above all. He knows it won’t get better, he doesn’t know how to make it better, so to hell with it. If we choose to be Andrew, Andrew never surrenders, insisting there must be a way to fix this, but can’t due to Leyley’s insistence. This leads to Andrew's decay, as he devolves into a mixture of Andy’s resentment boiling over and Andrew’s sadism. The logical part of him (which is Andrew’s lingering care for Ashley) tells him to disengage from the fighting. But his resentment (Andy’s decay) is overpowering his love for her. It gets to the point where both Andy and Andrew become undistinguishable, as they have melded to become his most deranged self. Surprisingly, something similar happens with Ashley, who also struggles to surrender in this route. There are two moments of honesty in the Shots and Such route, the only moments we get to see Andrew and Ashley completely. First is Andrew comforting Ashley’s sobs:

Here, Ashley was actually honest with him for once, which allows both of them to open up. This exchange is much more lighthearted compared to the rest of the route because both are meeting each other at the same level, talking through things together, addressing their happiness and where they want to go. Ashley shines through, taking genuine interest in Andrew’s happiness, but before things can settle…

Ashley must face her fears of freeing Andrew, trusting him. And she doesn’t, because let’s remember, we chose Leyley in this route and let Ashley decay. So once again, things go back to how they were, pointless resentment. There was also a time where Andrew opened up, and that’s when he was drunk out of his mind.

He put his front down, enough to indulge in his paraphilia but not enough to fully express his love. The mixed signals are strong with this one, which further confuses Leyley. However, when they go to sleep that night, Andrew opens up about his needs, about needing Ashley to see him for the mess of a man that he is and still accept him. Ashley takes the stage, reassuring him that she knows all his secrets and loves him regardless. Andrew is honest about why he pushes her away, because it’s the last thread of normalcy he has left. However, things quickly go back to normal, when Leyley refuses to give him a kiss due to all the times he pushed her away. At the end of both of these scenes, we hear a sad music box tune, a sad reminder of how crucial these scenes are. How easily things could be fixed with the care and honesty they warrant, and how easily they fall apart out of simple reluctance and conformity. 

This is a constant thread we see in their relationship, throughout flashbacks and present time, as well as symbolisms throughout Burial and Decay. The choice to not only trust, but to be honest with one another despite their fears could’ve been the fix they needed all along, the one thing they needed to mature. Their bond is so fragile, so easily twisted, that the only way to salvage any semblance of tenderness is to address their underlying decay. I find it funny how there are still people (few but still some) who were disappointed to see that Decay wouldn’t be the "normal" route. I read a few comments of people wanting their relationship to be fixed and be a normal sibling dynamic. To which I just have to say, that is way more delusional than the people who expected any routes of this game to be all fluff and rainbows.

The relationship was already screwed from the get-go, but here’s the hard pill to swallow: having a normal relationship is not the fix they need nor want. The paraphilia has consumed Andrew so thoroughly that his only solution is to completely wipe his brain or fully indulge in it (possibly the two routes of episode 4), while Ashley has to let go of her selfish, childish desires to recognize the Andrew she wanted has been there all along if she cares to meet him there. Is it an unsavory solution? Yeah. It’s gross, morally and ethically reprehensible. But that’s just who they are as people. And accepting themselves for who they are is ultimately the last ditch effort they could ever take to salvage this volatile, fragile relationship. I mean, this optional dialogue really puts it best:

(This is the single line of dialogue that actually made me tear up btw, not even the splat/shots and such ending tore into me so much as this line). 

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is, at its core, a cautionary tale of generational trauma and the cycle of abuse. How far will people go if pushed to their limits? Is it ever possible to remedy yourself once you’re at the point of no return? And is that remedy worse than the sickness itself? Can the doomed ever be redeemed? And if so, what are the necessary steps to take in order to redeem yourself, before it all goes dark? Andrew and Ashley can keep longing for one another all they want, but until Andy and Leyley are ripped and torn to shreds, neither will improve, and are fated to decay in the coffin of a different apartment, one built out of their own hangups and fears. We’ll see what episode 4 has in store, I trust the author will give us a satisfying conclusion. And speaking of the author…

The Meh: Changes to Episode 2

This new update brought about a couple of changes to the previous episodes as well. Namely, the wording for the decisions that split the story into Burial and Decay, as well as revamping the Burial route. I’ll be honest… I’m not a big fan of some of these.

For starters, this new update made me realize the author, as offline as she appears to be, is keenly aware of people’s opinions of the game and takes quite the contrarian attitude to people who miss the point of the story (something I can’t blame her for entirely, and seems to be the reason why things escalated so much in this chapter). Take for example the Grave Mistakes vision, Andrew explaining why they’re not addressing the Toxisoda thing anymore, and going as far as to add a bloody sprite for Ashley in the Burial route (something a few people were complaining about back in the day). Also, there is an optional dialogue in the highschool flashback that feels like a clapback to the Renee mod:

I’m glad the author is aware of people’s criticisms and takes the time to sort through them, but part of me wishes she didn’t try to over-explain some plot points. The thing that I originally loved about the game was the subtle storytelling, how it takes you a couple of playthroughs to fully understand everything lying beneath the surface. It plays tricks with you and makes you think about the characters’ true intentions, goals and desires, all the way until they spiral out of control and pretenses can’t be kept anymore. I liked that Ashley has a little back and forth between wanting to trust Andrew, being unable to because of her insecurities, and falling back on the trinket. But now…

The choice kinda spells it out for you already. For one, the choice of dialogue feels a bit clunky and also redundant given the next couple of lines confirm this already. The change in the olive branch choice, with it now being reflect/decline, doesn’t bother me as much, but this feels a little too in your face. Same thing with the changes to the Burial vision. I like that you have to put the green plushie back in the cage at the end, as it’s something you also did earlier in the puzzle, so it feels less contradictory. But the change to this line…

It’s honestly giving too much away. People go through the Burial route because they want the siblings to trust each other, and they select the left door for the questionable outcome because they want to make the questionable choice. However that route turns out, whether good or bad, is for us to find out as we play. And mind you, I already know it’s not ending so well given the hex Andrew gets in Burial is the same as in the Decay Andy route. That just cannot be any good. Plus, the fact that Burial is all about burying things under the rug. I suspect that while Decay is more about Andrew due to its reflective nature, Burial will be all about Ashley due to her nature of compartmentalizing. I imagine both Burial and Decay will have their own good and bad routes, but I’d rather not jump the gun into assuming what each will pan out to look like, as chances are I’ll be completely mistaken.

And I say this as a good portion of the fanbase was proven wrong with this new update, in terms of what Decay and Burial are about. The general consensus used to be Burial = romance, Decay = hate. Some fans even came up with the bizarre defense that the game is not so bad because the incest is totally optional! It's on the player to pick it. All the while you have Andrew grabbing Ashley's belt loops and cuddling her on the couch in both routes...

I can appreciate asking people to look at what's beneath the surface and analyze things a little more critically, but that was just plain wrong lol. In the back of my mind, I always hoped that Decay would address some of Andrew's feelings to completely shut down all the "optional" nonsense. Welp, that it did... way more than I anticipated.     

Anyway, my point with this last bit of the rant was that I hope these changes don’t become a trend of the author trying to make things clearer for normies or paying any mind to them, as that would only cheapen the storytelling. Those who get the story get it, and if not, they can read people’s shizo analyses online. But I don’t need my hand held throughout the game; I like figuring things out on my own. To wrap things up, I’ll just say I’m very happy with the outcomes we got. They were terrible, but necessary for the reasons explained above. I was originally very scared of the Decay route, as I didn’t know exactly what to expect and angry Andrew scares me. But this has quickly become my favorite episode of all and I can only hope the next ones do it justice. Keep cooking Nemlei, you’re doing good.

[apricustar]

there’s something about this finale that left a bad taste in my mouth—and the more i sit with it, the more i realize it’s part of a bigger problem that’s been running through most of the season; something i’d even argue began back in s7.

this entire season has lacked emotional resonance. we’re not shown the important moments anymore, we’re just told they happened via seeing the result of the action. and that gap? it makes everything feel flat.

take the finale’s last few seconds—mara’s adoption, athena selling her house, buck looking at a new place, eddie staying in LA, madney’s baby. these should’ve hit. they should’ve meant something. but instead, it’s a montage we’re apparently supposed to feel something about, even though the show doesn’t take the time to let its characters feel anything??

it plays like a highlight reel more than anything! it’s rushed, detached, almost careless in its delivery, like the show just wanted to check boxes instead of tell a story. the show gave us the results, not the journey. and in doing that, it robbed those moments of any real weight.

eddie’s storyline is perhaps the clearest example of this issue. it feels as though eddie has been thrown away, especially in the latter portion of this season.

we open the season with eddie dealing with chris’ absence—sort of. we get that awkward birthday facetime call, the quiet ache of trying and still receiving nothing. we see eddie throw himself into work, into structure, into being okay. we see the performance of coping. we see him attempting show up and still be a father to chris despite being 800 miles away.

and!! then we don’t really see eddie grapple with his decision to move. not directly. it’s buck who finds the listings, buck who brings it into the open. in 8b, it bubbles up into tension and into that fight—and then eddie leaves, like he was slipping out the back door of his own life. after all the build-up, we still get nothing.

no first days in texas. no private moments with chris. no reconciliation. he disappears from entire episodes. he vanishes from his own story in a way that feels disrespectful.

he returns for bobby’s funeral. and in the finale, without a single conversation, he’s suddenly staying in LA. we never see him and chris talk about his move to el paso, or the decision to come back. there’s no acknowledgment of anything that happened up to this point—no conversation to do with anything of value!!

we just get a silent reversal of everything the season built instead, like none of it happened. all the important aspects of rebuilding happened entirely offscreen!!

and it’s not just eddie. this has been happening everywhere—this slow erasure of interiority, of depth, of care. the show used to sit with its characters. it used to feel like it knew them. like it trusted us to want more than plot. but now? everyone feels thinner. quieter. like echoes of themselves. like the writers are writing around the people they used to understand.

and the result is a season—and a finale—that feels emotionally empty not because there wasn’t anything there, but because it was never given space to land. we’re watching the outcomes of conversations we never got to hear. the aftermath of moments we never saw happen. the characters don’t feel fully fleshed out anymore. the show lacks heart. it lacks nuance. it’s lost the version of itself that once knew how to feel through things instead of just announcing them. and if the characters aren’t given space to care, to process, to live in the in-between—then how are we supposed to care, either?

so when the final montage hits—when all the big life changes flash across the screen—we’re not feeling closure. we’re just feeling the distance. the hollowness of a show that used to ask us to feel with it—and now seems scared to.

[ivoryand-gold]

Spoilers for The Apothecary Diaries 2x23 “The Shi Clan”

I’ve seen a few people confused by or mad at Shisui’s motivations for scarring Jinshi. While I understand that protectiveness as someone who also loves Jinshi as a character, imho it is in alignment with who we know Shisui to be and makes perfect sense to me narratively.

The first reasoning, Shisui has been conspiring against her mother for a long time. From the abortifacients to all she confesses to Jinshi in this episode, she hasn’t merely been her mother’s doll for a long time. There’s still a guilt she likely feels for betraying her, even if she saw no other way. She sees the hatred and jealousy that founts from her mother like venom, and she refuses to become her, but also she never denounces her as her mother. Like when she talks about the ghost stories episode and how Suirei’s grandmother Taihou may have tried to kill her from the grave because she’s her mother’s daughter. Plus, despite her plotting, she has fawned for 17-18 years and that doesn’t all just go away in an instant because her mother is dead. Shisui still has love for Shenmei whether she deserves it or not, and can likely live with the rest of her choices by at least granting one of her mother’s wishes.

Secondly, Shisui always tried to take care of her family in her own way. She’s always been loving, and became “the doll Loulan” as her first attempt to fix things. If she was an obedient enough daughter, then maybe she’d be able to heal what had been so thoroughly broken within her mother. She sacrifices her sense of self both to survive—but we know that’s not her only/main priority given her repeated abuse when she disguised herself as a maid to see Suirei— and to protect and heal her family. It’s only when this doesn’t work that she moves on to plotting.

Shisui took care of her family, everyone got a version of what they wanted in the end. Obviously the main thing Shishou wanted was Shenmei’s forgiveness and love, but that was never going to happen. Both Jinshi and Shenmei had the chance to take the feifa from Shisui, and because of who they were, those cards fell where they did. Shenmei died as a consequence of her own actions, which Shisui didn’t want to happen but knew would. She always did what she could though, and gave her family what felt like very fitting parting gifts to me:

For Shishou, her final gift was seeing their plan through and making sure not only someone, but Jinshi knew her father served their country to the end. She also spoke up for her father to Shenmei in her dying moments, something Shishou had failed to do for himself the last 20 years.

For Shenmei, her final gift was violence, a final act of destruction towards something beautiful. Her wrath and pettiness given a small revenge. Immortality, even, to live on through Jinshi’s scar and become this “once in a generation evil” who wounded the once in a generation beauty her mother was so jealous of. Both continuing and ending the cycle of their families, with Jinshi’s consent.

For Suirei, her final gift was a smile— the promise that she was happy. A seed of contentment for Suirei to build the rest of her life on now that she’s lost her family. A second chance at life she was only given because of Shisui’s favor. That smile conveyed Shisui’s own freedom.

And in that is also Shisui’s gift to herself. She couldn’t help the circumstances she was born into, nor could she change the tides of fate to keep her family from being embroiled in scandal. But at least she could rewrite the ending. After so long hiding behind her makeup and mother and the role of Loulan, Shisui could finally have a voice. She could take up space. She could be a savior.

She could be the villain of a generation.

She could dance.

[dailymothanon]

Was way too busy today to draw anything but this is how it feels to get my millionth Soundwave plot that is either cassette harm or something maybe a little interesting just for it to never actually be explored and end up tossed aside 😔(of course, I’m just over exaggerating for fun;) warning for a rant btw—

I think most if not all Soundwaves have been handled pretty solidly? Kinda? I guess 90% of the stuff he does as a character is just be an asset to keep the overall plot moving which is fair, but also mostly him just aura farming all the time lmao like girl we get it 😭 but also go off… but also I do heavily wish his character was explored more, different dynamics, change the formula! As mostly Megatron and maybe Starscream and to an extent Shockwave are often changed story and personality wise much more prominently or noticeably. Part of me also feels like 🤔 maybe the lack of change in Soundwaves (design wise? He certainly Does Change a lot) is partially because it’s hard to explore a character that tends to not be really expressive or talk much, so I don’t blame anyone… just wish that he has more juice yaknow 😌 something more filling than just stoic mech who practically carries the whole faction on his back, known to be loyal, and also has cassettes that he seems to care for a ton.. sure, you can say these are essentials to his character, but I guess like, isn’t that the point of different continuities? Endless possibilities that are all technically canon in their own regards (for example the folks who don’t like TfOne Shockwave cuz he’s very expressive and emotional, who think “he doesn’t have emotions why is he like this” well, yea, he doesn’t have emotions in THAT continuity, but in THIS continuity, he does! It’s a fun new way of seeing him!). Maybe TFA Soundwave is a good example to me of like, this is an interesting new idea of a story for him! But then it’s not really explored ever 😭 but don’t get me wrong, this does Not mean I don’t like other Soundwaves from the lack of story, I love them all very dearly!! Tfp was also an interesting and cool concept of him! Most Soundwaves have had great aspects about them to me which is why I cannot pick a definitive favorite! But one thing I think they all collectively lack a little in is exploration of character that’s past him just being a tool to keep things moving, which to me, even that within itself is something that may be explored, him being seen more as a tool than an individual, but I still completely understand why he isn’t touched on cuz obviously he won’t be the main character or anything 😛 important character Sure, but he’s almost treated like a side character at times which again, is also fine and valid, I don’t have expectations that the story would consider him cuz there’s usually not really reason to; though in comparison to the rest of the high command getting many new analyzations and different directions to go, it is a little disappointing to me when I think about it too much 📼 but I still love him a lot regardless!

[nephilimeq]

Emotional Growth in 9-1-1

This newest episode is so interesting, because looking at Eddie it becomes obvious that we are looking at a man who is emotionally neglected and stuck at the age that he got Shannon pregnant.

Because he is.

He had a kid so young that he never had the chance to figure out who he was as a person, and then he used his identity from the military straight into the LAFD as trying to tell himself that he's someone who saves other people.

He also felt like he was saving Christopher when he became a single father, so that was an easy transition for him.

But then Christopher goes and makes an emotional decision to leave, and I feel like a part of Eddie is only just realizing that he never had that autonomy at any point in his life and it's sort of this panicked knee-jerk reaction to go straight out to him because he doesn't know what else to do and doesn't have the emotional maturity to stand up to the consequences of his actions and try to fix himself.

We see this in the way he is doing things like growing a mustache or shaving it off and then reenacting Risky Business.

He's not facing the emotions.

He's avoiding them...

...versus Buck who has had the chance to experience a lot of the world because he was emotionally neglected. He went out and traveled the world and figured out what parts of himself that he liked and didn't like, and then became a firefighter because he knew he wanted to help people (even though that is a part of his trauma, the people pleasing, most of it is completely honest).

We see him in therapy several times, and it's obvious that over the seasons he has been trying to come to terms with the darker parts of himself.

And now he's at a point in his life where he's just discovering another part of his identity, he's now finally secure in it...and then when Tommy left it felt like part of him was leaving.

Buck's endgame has to be Tommy because it's the only thing that makes sense in terms of his character arc.

To fall in love and make that home.

Because unlike Eddie, Buck has had the chance to have a lot of different relationships in several different ways, so he knows what it's like to have an infatuation versus actually being in love, and Tommy feels very emotionally different from every single other relationship that we've seen him have on screen.

The only relationship in which we saw Buck being himself.

The only relationship where he felt seen.

The only relationship where he was happy.

The only relationship where he was finally Evan, without the trauma behind his name anymore, and not just "Buck".

...and the fact that we have seen Tommy's character in previous flashbacks as part of all of the "Begins" episodes, it would be the perfect parallel for Tommy to be where Buck ends and Evan begins.

By Eddie running away to Texas and letting Buck stay in his house, it is very synonymous with how Buck is stepping into that chapter of his life of settling down and creating his own family outside of anyone else's expectations.

Eddie was Buck's first real friend in the 118, one of the first ones to start to let him feel seen.

...but now Buck no longer needs that constant validation. He is stepping into a much more healed version of himself, even if he still is a little bit impulsive sometimes—though his impulsiveness can be good, we've seen that on the job. It's saved more than a few lives when no one else might have taken the risk.

Because of how Buck has grown, we have seen him actively learning from his mistakes—versus Eddie, who is still running from them, which is why this plot line makes a lot of sense to me.

Eddie can't grow where is.

Buck can.

That's why Buck living in Eddie's house is so symbolic, because it's a way of showing how different the two of them are now. Buck can grow and move forward in a place that Eddie was never able to.

He recognizes change and embraces it. He jumps into the unknown with two feet—it's the one thing we have seen consistently from him over the seasons, and I think this is where Buck is taking a moment to breathe and really think about what he wants next.

If the writers do it right, we will see Buck settling into himself even more...

...and then reach back out to Tommy.

Feeling more settled, he and Tommy will finally talk and all of their issues will be dragged out into the open and dealt with.

They both acted impulsively but in different directions when they broke up, and I think this season will be about Buck finally slowing down and looking before he leaps.

But he'll still leap ;)