#and i did eat but it was limited to like. porridge and bread and for some reason sushi. like they were the only foods i didn't fear

[eggmeralda]

listening to my february-june 2022 playlist which led to ⬇️

[hasufin]

Calories

If there's one thing I'm really getting from reading about historical foods, it's that people in the past were, by modern standards, extremely malnourished.

The Union Army of the American Civil War was, relatively speaking, quite well-supplied. Yet if you look at their rations - the rations which were specifically approved by Congress, not even taking into consideration issues with logistics, availability, and fouling of foods, they were basically given beef, pork, salt beef, sometimes salted cod, and bread. These were supplemented with various vegetables (usually desiccated, which is not great for nutritional value; and besides which many of the desiccated vegetables were starchy things like carrots and potatoes), vinegar, beans, and rice. We recognize today that even at best, this is a diet lacking in essential nutrients, and doubtless made those soldiers more prone to infection and illness, and having a harder time healing from injuries.

The Southern army fared even worse - while their official ration was at the outset identical (the definitive guide on the American infantry was written by a Confederate), they had to significantly reduce the official ration, and due to lack of availability were seldom able to provide even a shadow of the official obligation. A Union soldier said his Southern counterparts were subsisting on "parched corn and peas", and this seems to be borne out. Truthfully, it sometimes seems remarkable the CSA held on as long as it did: they simply did not have the means to support an army at all.

But going further back, you see this throughout history. Not merely with armies, but with anything in which you see official records: hard bread (which we today know as hardtack), beans, pickled vegetables, and limited supplies of meat. The Japanese peasants are noted to have lived on little but millet and rice porridge, and nowhere near enough of that (an issue which becomes particularly appalling when you consider The Tale of Genji, and how nobles of that time were assigned the output of hundreds of peasant households to subsidize lavish lifestyles). In Europe of the middle ages, you often see many people if not literally starving, then living off of extremely monotonous and limited diets - pottages with little else in them, waybread, and sometimes meat from trapping and fishing, if that.

And if you go truly far back, to the late neolithic, you find that remarkably early sedentary people had a worse diet than their nomadic counterparts - being limited to whatever was available in their area, and whatever they had figured out how to preserve. At the time, beer was not consumed for the alcohol, but for the calories; pickling and salting were critical, and salt was one of the most important resources for millennia.

What I'm getting at is, we do in fact live in an age of great bounty. Not only are our caloric needs met, they are met with varied foods in which the seasons have little sway; we seldom suffer from nutrient deficiency, and we are able to both identify food sensitivities and find alternatives. Moreover, our food supply is astoundingly safe: we do not fear ergot poisoning, we seldom open a bag of flour to find it destroyed by insects or rodents, and food poisoning is so much less prevalent that it's astonishing.

When people talk of the past, I think this sort of thing is so often overlooked. Would you be content to live on a loaf of bread and perhaps a bowl of soup? How would you feel if you had to choose between not eating at all, or eating meat which had begun to go rancid? if one day out of ten you were likely to be incapacitated with what I shall delicately call "stomach troubles"?

[bardic-tales]

Hi NL!! Happy WBW btw!

What is general life like in Cold as Ice, Flight of the Dragon, and Pale Fire?

Hello Midnight! Happy WBW! Thank you for your question.

All of the novels are dark fantasy. As Cold as Ice and Pale Fire happen during the same time period, I'm going to combine the answer for them.

I'm going to focus on Olessa, as that is where the Flight of the Dragon takes place in. Eneth and Gloreydt are mentioned.

I must apologize for how long this is. I tried to make it brief.

Flight of the Dragon

Depending on the region in Olessa, general life may be quite different. Olessa is broke up into a loose collection of city-states and other territories. Each city-state had a different type of government: monarchies, councils of oligarchies, or through democracy. This is for Brennan's city-state.

Regardless of the class they were born into, children had about a 50% survival rate beyond age one. They would be expected to contribute to their family around 12.

Everyone drank wine and ale and never water.

Lower Class

Life was harsh for the lower class, with a limited diet and little comfort. Women were subordinate to men, in both the peasant and noble classes. They were also expected to ensure that the household ran smoothly.

The home of the lower class was poorly constructed. The floor was normally earthen and there was little ventilation or light from windows.

These people would eat porridges, broths, stews, and bread. They rarely ate meat, and when they did, it would be from their own animals.

Middle Class

Brennan's knights were the middle class. This class consisted of the knights and their families. They each owned a section of land. These people would perform military service for Brennan, but they would not do any menial tasks like the lower caste.

What and how the Middle Class ate depended on a diet and fasting schedule. Meat was allowed three times a week, while meals were eaten twice a day. These meals would consist of fruits and bread. Silence was the norm.

Fancy dress, outside of furs in the winter, were forbidden. The knights were warriors, they were also monks who were allowed to marry. They were expected to rise at 4am for a service before returning to sleep until 6 am. They would also be expected to train and attend three more services throughout the day, as well as the other meals. One of the meals would have a priest read aloud from one of the many tomes about the god of love.

Cold as Ice & Pale Fire

In both regions, orphans would roam the streets. Because they didn't attend any schools, they had little chance of improving their situation.

The survival rate of a child was still low as they were often malnourished, dirty, and had limited supply of good food and water.

The Glorendt Kingdom

During this period of time, Glorendt had an industrial revolution. Owning land was the main form of wealth. At the top was the King and the Council of Elders. These people would live in lavish, elegant mansions and country houses. It was a far cry from how they were a raiding people in Flight of the Dragon.

Cities were noisy and very dirty. Their calendars would include dinner parties, opera, and the theater. Many would inherit their fortune and never had to work, cook meals, or empty their own chamber pots.

Schools were not required by law, but many upper-class boys and girls would attend school. Girls would be educated more in skills like embroidery and music than in academic subjects. There were also charity schools for lower-class children.

Poor people ate plain diets that were made up of bread and potatoes. Like its neighboring empire, meat was an uncommon luxury for Glorendines.

Regardless of class, many people began to drink tea.

The lower-class lived in just a two to three room place while the poorest families lived in only a room with very simple and plain furniture.

The poorest would often turn to the Glorendine Shadow Council and offer their services as a shadow blade, an assassin, or an artifact hunter.

Olessan Empire

When Brennan Draig unified all of Olessa, he became its king. His people would call him the Dragon King. There are now eight regions: Avis, Lucci, Norven, Olessa Major, Olessa Minor, Olessa Providence, Spacci, Surven.

Daily life throughout the Olessan Empire was different based upon the social classes. There were five social classes: Peasants, Workers, Merchants, Nobles, and Rulers.

The nobles lived on large estates in the region and on the Summas Hill within the capital. Nobility had a variety of fashion made from different materials, such as furs and silks while peasants had only one or two sets of clothing.

Food was not equally distributed to every person. A person's place in society still determined what type of food that they ate. An average peasant could eat soup or mush. The peasants still lacked meat as it was expensive and not widely available.

Weathy people would have huge feasts with roasts of beef, stag, or ham. They did not drink much water, but they would have wine with every meal. They would also attend operas.

In regard to education, fathers were allowed a choice with education for their daughters. They could be sent to a finishing school or become a lady-in-waiting for a noblewoman.

Societies had to be really rich to support artists, elaborate building projects, and industrial powerhouses.

There is more about the southern portion of the Olessan Empire, but this part is already getting long as is.

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

voiceless jaskier au (pt 7)

Chapter 4 is, with this, complete and shortly will be on AO3! And also possibly my longest chapter. YAY! 

In which I actually let Jaskier have a Not Shitty Day (and Geralt has a much more shitty day)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) Now on AO3

---------------------

Geralt was, perhaps unsurprisingly, not back yet when Jaskier woke up, surrounded by the papers that held everything he'd purged the night before. He sat and stared blankly at the detritus of his hurt and anger, feeling hollowed out and weary.

Hollowed out and weary, but not like he was going to get lost in the mist again, which brought on a feeling of something like relief. He got out of bed and pulled fresh(ish) clothes on, being careful not to disturb any of the papers as he did. That was the thing, he was angry still, and he thought he had every right to be. Geralt didn't get to be overwhelmingly attentive one moment and then just refuse to listen to him the next, especially before running off to maybe get himself killed without thinking about how Jaskier would survive.

No, Jaskier thought with an admittedly bitter-tasting sort of pride, the papers would stay. He couldn't yell at Geralt, but as emotionally raw as he felt glancing over the things he'd written, maybe it would get through to Geralt and he'd look next time. And the time after that. And every time Jaskier was trying so hard to reach out of the silent pit he'd fallen into to connect to another goddamn person.

That decided, clothed and with a clean face from scrubbing in the washbasin, Jaskier considered his options. He could swear up and down to the innkeeper that the witcher would be back to pay for any meals he might have while staying alone, but the fact was that most people would be dubious of a witcher's guarantee to come back. Especially given how quickly he left, for the next town over. Jaskier could, instead, set up in the main room or the town square with his lute and play, and hope for some generosity from the townsfolk. The problem was that without his voice, he was limited to only the sound of his lute itself. Which, admittedly, was fantastic, but wasn't likely to earn him much of anything. Instrumental music was for banquets and noble halls, before the night moved on to more energetic entertainment. People in a little place like this looked to a bard for entertainment with jigs, melodramatic ballads, tales of adventure, and songs about maidens fucking farmboys. Jaskier could play a mean jig, but for the rest... well.

And anyway, doing that would mean actually playing, and thinking about it still made something twist up in his stomach.

No, not today, he thought, and snagged his tablet before heading to the door. Today, he would hope that the innkeeper or one of his neighbors would take pity on him and give him some sort of small job to do in exchange for food or a little bit of money. It wasn't something Jaskier was looking forward to, silently begging for the chance to do menial labor, but it wasn't like he had many options.

**

The innkeeper did have a few unskilled tasks that he usually had his daughter do alone, but he seemed to be perfectly happy to let Jaskier help with them in exchange for food, even giving him breakfast before setting him to work.

"That witcher of yours left you here without coin for food?" he'd asked, eyes narrowed, when Jaskier approached him. Jaskier shrugged, spreading his hands dramatically, trying to play it off as sort of a 'witchers, am I right?' situation. The innkeeper shook his head, grumbling. "Damn thoughtless creature," he'd said, and ushered Jaskier into a seat near the kitchen. Jaskier wanted to protest, to speak up in Geralt's defense, mention how careful Geralt had been up to this point, but once he was seated and eating porridge and sausage, he had to admit he didn't disagree.

Geralt had been damn thoughtless, and Jaskier was still fucking angry.

The chores were hardly complicated, even for him. Washing breakfast dishes, helping boil water for laundry (which he was allowed to drop his own dirty clothes into, and pointedly did not bring Geralt's down for), helping hang the laundry to dry. Not exactly easy, nor the sorts of chores he'd ever had to do growing up, but it was something to pass the time, and made him at least feel useful for the first time since the djinn. The innkeeper's daughter was seventeen, sharp as a whip, and named Hanna. She kept up a steady, if not constant, commentary throughout the day, giving her thoughts on what she wanted from life, how well (or poorly) Jaskier was doing at following her directions, and various gossip and theories about passing townsfolk that they could see from the back yard of the inn. She got him to laugh more than once with her sharp commentary, and he felt if they could've had a proper conversation he would've enjoyed her even more. She even shared her lunch with him, half a small loaf of bread, a chunk of cheese, and an apple that she imperiously demanded he slice for them, which made him laugh yet again.

(She'd started singing at one point, in the absent way people did when they were doing a familiar task, and he'd faltered in his movements hanging the laundry on the line, his hands frozen in the process of pinning someone's chemise up. He'd forgotten until that moment, despite not being able to answer her as she chatted, that he couldn't sing anymore. It hit him like a punch to the chest and for a long moment he felt like he couldn't breathe. Hanna hadn't said anything, but she must have noticed, and she resumed talking about the exploits of her friend Maja instead of her song, and didn't sing again. Jaskier felt guilty and grateful in equal measure for that.)

It was a good day, probably the first good day he'd had in... how long had it been, two weeks? Longer? The first good day since even before the lake, though he'd hoped briefly when he found Geralt that his day was getting better. More the fool him. But this day of feeling useful and not pitied was what he needed and Jaskier was very relaxed (if already sore and sweaty) by the time the late afternoon sun was warming him as he weeded the kitchen garden alone, Hanna having gone in to help start supper.

Or he was relaxed until the door to the kitchen was thrown open with a loud bang, and he briefly was grateful for his enforced silence because he can tell he would've just screeched embarrassingly otherwise. Geralt of fucking Rivia was the culprit, looking tensed for a fight. Jaskier barely had time to wonder what could possibly have gone so wrong while he was outside that Geralt was looking like that when Geralt's eyes locked on him, kneeling in the dirt with his shirtsleeves rolled up and a weed in his hand, and the tension seemed to bleed out of him. Not that anyone but Jaskier or maybe another witcher would've noticed, as little changed, but the feeling that Geralt was readying himself for a dust up dissipated.

Jaskier obviously couldn't say anything, but that was very far from anything he expected to happen, and he raised an eyebrow, not otherwise moving.

"Excuse me," Hanna's voice came from behind Geralt in the kitchen. "If you don't mind, sir witcher, we're busy in here. Go out or come in, but don't just stand there all in the way!"

Geralt half-turned with a startled frown, and Jaskier couldn't imagine the scathing look the girl must've been giving him that prompted him to simply grunt out a quiet "Sorry," before stepping outside, closing the door behind him.

Jaskier almost laughed at the disconcerted expression on Geralt's face in the wake of whatever look Hanna had subjected him to, before remembering why he was out here in the first place. Instead, he pressed his lips in a line, his good mood already fled in favor of lingering anger and resentment, and pointedly looked down and resumed weeding. Geralt walked closer and it occurred to Jaskier that he'd left his tablet upstairs after going to fetch his laundry, because he didn't want to risk it getting lost or stepped on, and Hanna hadn't needed it to get on just fine with him. Whatever conversation he had with Geralt right now was, by nature, going to be extremely one-sided, as Jaskier both couldn't talk to him and wasn't speaking to him.

Geralt stopped at the edge of the garden plot, a few feet away from where Jaskier was kneeling, and just... stood there. Jaskier'd intended to just let him stew until he felt like speaking up, but eventually the silent looming got to Jaskier, and he left off the weeding to sit back on his heels and spread his arms. What?

"You weren't there," Geralt rumbled, an inscrutable and alien (to Jaskier, anyway, which was actually pretty strange) expression on his face. Jaskier frowned slightly, then pushed himself to his feet and brushed his hands off on his trousers, eyes never leaving Geralt's face, and the expression he didn't recognize.

"You weren't there," Geralt repeats after a few beats of silence, clearly struggling to get words out. "There was all the paper talking about how angry you were, and your lute was there, and the wax tablets were there, and it didn't smell like you'd been there for hours."

Oh. Jaskier's shield around his heart cracks a little bit. The big idiot had been scared. Of something having happened to him, maybe, or of him having left, or something Jaskier can't think of, but the point was that Geralt was scared and had flipped out because of it, stormed the kitchen and threw open the backdoor to make sure Jaskier was there. There was "mad at him" and there was "being an ass to him", so Jaskier softened and reached out a hand to put on one of the arms Geralt had crossed protectively in front of his chest. A soft little exhalation escaped Geralt's lips, and Jaskier thought honestly if he was the sort of person who cried, Geralt might be crying from relief now. Jaskier had wanted Geralt to know and understand how angry he'd been last night, but he'd never really meant to scare or hurt him, so it was his turn to apologize. Not for being mad, he refused to apologize for that sort of thing, but for scaring him.

Jaskier looped his arm through Geralt's, dirt and sweat and all, and tugged him back towards the door. Geralt let himself be led, not taking his eyes off Jaskier as they moved. Jaskier waved and smiled apologetically to Hanna and her mother as they cut quickly through the kitchen, and saw the disdainfully disappointed look the innkeeper shot Geralt as they passed, and then it was upstairs and into their room. The pages that had been scattered on every surface were more or less in a pile on the bed, like Geralt had grabbed each one of them, read it, then grabbed the next and the next, before dropping them and racing out to find him. Which... was probably what had happened.

The giant idiot.

Jaskier unlinked their arms to move the papers, dropping them to the side of the bed carelessly, because frankly they didn't matter now that they'd been read, herded Geralt to the bed and pushed him to sit down, and then retrieved his tablet from the side table, rubbing his hands on his trousers again to keep any dirt from getting ground into the wax.

You're an idiot, was the first thing Jaskier wrote, turned around to show Geralt with fond exasperation. Geralt opened his mouth to respond and Jaskier held a finger up to stop him, adding more under it. And an ass. Geralt huffed, frustrated, and scowled slightly.

"Jaskier."

Oh, fine, he'd go faster and stop just listing things that Geralt, patently and provably, was. I'm angry, not stupid. What did you think happened?

"I don't know," Geralt grumbled with a faint grimace, not looking up at Jaskier's face. "The papers were ripped out of your journal. The messages seemed... desperate."

Jaskier sighed and sat on the bed next to Geralt, tucking one leg up under him, and smoothed the wax before starting in on a longish message.

You didn't look when I had a message to show you. This is my voice right now. I can't shout. Maybe throw it at your head but it might break. And you didn't think about how I would pay for anything, which was what I was trying to ask you. But you didn't look. You can't not look, Geralt. His handwriting wasn't great, admittedly, especially writing smaller, but it was readable when he held it out to Geralt.

"Hm," Geralt handed the tablet back, and Jaskier started smoothing the wax again. "I'm... sorry. It was thoughtless. You could've gotten hurt." He sounded sincere to Jaskier's ears, if a bit reluctant. Jaskier knew Geralt struggled to talk about his own feelings, let alone his fears. Jaskier had never known Geralt to talk about his fears, and while he hadn't said so explicitly, the fear that Jaskier could've gotten hurt, and it would've been Geralt's fault, seemed like an obvious jump from what he'd said. And really, it made sense. Geralt considered what happened to Jaskier's voice his fault. It would be him failing Jaskier again if anything but a truly spectacular meltdown and some laundry had happened while Geralt had been gone.

Jaskier bumped his shoulder up against Geralt's as he wrote, Geralt leaning in a little to watch the letters forming, and Jaskier's breath almost hitched from the smell of him so close in his space (even the sweat and horse that permeated him). Forgiven if you never do it again. Promise?

"I promise," Geralt responded even before Jaskier finished writing, solemn as anything. "I'll always look. If it needs to wait, I'll say. But I promise I'll look."

Jaskier patted Geralt's knee in acceptance and smiled. Good. Dinner. He stood, then stopped on his way to the door to quickly add, I earned dinner tonight. You can pay for baths. He showed Geralt and gave him a smug, cheeky grin, and Geralt's eyes flicked from the tablet to his face and met his eyes without response for just a moment too long to be entirely comfortable. Then the moment passed, and Geralt pushed himself to his feet.

"All right," he agreed. "You look like you've been rolling in the mud all day, you could use one." He chuckled at Jaskier's indignant expression and got a smack upside the head with the tablet as they made their way back downstairs.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) Now on AO3

[lonelypond]

Moonlight Becomes You:  Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 17

NicoMaki, NozoEli, Love Live/Love Live Sunshine, 1.7K, 17/?

Summary: Nozomi wakes up, Maki should have stayed asleep, and You and Dia discuss a danger.

Morning After Heartaches

Dia woke up first, but she'd learned, so she took a moment to orient herself in time. Yes, she was at the Malibu mansion, but no, her mothers were not yet her mothers. So she had to be be very careful not to just collapse in a heap of tears and rage. This was all the fault of that Yohane person...if Dia ever got near her again, feathers would certainly fly, Dia had no intention of ever getting near that distress of a disaster again, but then, how would she get back to…

"BZZZZZTTTT!" Dia hissed, flinging her arm out.

Nico and You both rushed in from the kitchen, concerned. Maki grunted and rolled over, distracting Nico briefly while You approached Dia.

"Nightmare?" You asked brightly.

Dia closed her eyes, it was far too early for cheerfulness. "Yes, this is still the nightmare."

"Does your head hurt?" Nico asked.

Dia gritted her teeth, almost deciding to revert to Japanese and plead confusion. But then her grandmother walked in, dropping purse and jacket on the counter, quickly taking in the room.

"Guess I came home at the right time."

"Oh, hey, Doc." You waved. "Our patient just had a nightmare. And I made my dad's legendary French toast."

"What a treat." Dr. Nishikino detoured to the plate You had left on the counter, leaning over to sniff, "Could I convince you to move in as a full time chef?"

You chuckled.

"Hello." Dia snapped. "Does anyone remember me?"

Nico rolled her eyes, "Nico will get you a plate."

Dia stood, "I can manage."

"Well, you didn't collapse so I guess my exam can wait until after we eat something." Dr. Nishikino decided as she cut through crispy fluffy gourmet breakfast bread with a fork and debated whether to wake her daughter. Best to let sleeping DJs lie, at least until the second round of French toast.

Dia, arms wrapped around her torso, stepped around You, and shuffled toward the kitchen, The smell of warm, cinnamony sweetness was a definite pull.

"How was your night, Maki's Mama?" Nico asked, as she took her own stack of slices.

"Not too busy, but there…" Dr, Nishikino looked to You, "is an increase in the number of assault victims who are coming in…"

Nico paled, "Assault?"

You stepped in, "Gang fight type of things, but we can't figure out the gangs. There's no pattern."

Dia was enjoying the French toast and trying to remember stories her parents had told her about when they'd met. And Eli and Nico's adventures in LA. Had Eli made her final transformation yet?

"How many tails does Eli have?" Dia muttered as Maki distracted most of the room by throwing herself off the couch with a shout.

You handed Dia the maple syrup and whispered, "Shhhh….And tell me what you mean. LATER."

###

Nozomi woke up with a pounding head, in a warm pile. She opened her eyes. She was splayed across the head of a bed, pilllows bunched underneath her, the fair hair of Hanamaru and the midnight darkness of Yoshiko's mingling a few inches off her nose. Nozomi giggled and blew out some air, to see how much she could stir. Yoshiko grunted and swatted at something to her left, but Hanamaru's eyes snapped open and Nozomi was suddenly caught in an ancient gaze.

"No, Zura." Hanamaru whispered.

"Hanamaru, you're so cruel." Nozomi whined.

Hanamaru's lips pursed into her stubborn pout, which both Nozomi and Yoshiko found adorable. Hanamaru reached up with the hand furthest from her sleeping lover and poked Nozomi on the cheek. "Coffee."

Nozomi groaned and sat up, careful not to disturb the snoring angel. Hanamaru wouldn't make the good Turkish coffee if Yoshiko was discomfited at all. Nozomi took a pillow she could curl up around in the beanbag chair as Hanamaru shuffled around the small kitchen, "Scone?" Hanamaru asked.

Nozomi shook her head, "Hangover. Just coffee."

"Eat something. It'll help."

"Oatmeal? Soup? Something mushy and warm?" Nozomi asked.

"Chicken noodle porridge?" Hanamaru giggled.

"Sure." Nozomi yawned, her headache intensifying with the muscle movement, "As long as I can just sip."

"Oatmeal through a straw."

"Just put everything in the blender."

"No noise." Hanamaru grumbled.

"Right." Nozomi shoved her chin into the pillow, wondering if Eli was up, what she had for breakfast? Blintzes with a blonde? What would that taste like?

Hanamaru shoved a glass of juice in Nozomi's face, "You'll never know if you don't ask her out."

"Are you telepathic now?"

Hanamaru shook her head, "You're just obvious."

Nozomi raised the glass, "Kanpai!"

###

Nico and Maki were sitting on a deck down the slope from the house, staring out at the ocean, the quiet comfortable after all the bustle of the long night.

"Weird night, huh?" Maki yawned.

"One of the weirdest…" Nico acknowledged, "Although I've been to stranger parties." She reached out for Maki's hand, "I bet you have too."

Maki shrugged, "A DJ never tells."

"Good to know." Nico squeezed Maki's hand.

"Wonder what'll happen Saturday?" Maki said, sitting back with a half grin. The mood was a basking one and then suddenly the ease was blasted.

"Saturday?" Nico turned, "Nico hopes nothing too exciting. Nico's got a gig."

Maki tensed, "A gig?"

"Convention appearance. Flying out Saturday morning for a day of meet and greets."

"But the party…"

"What party?"

Maki stood, "We talked about it in the music room, you like crazy parties, food trucks, rafting, I'm throwing one for us Saturday."

"But Nico's booked."

"You didn't say."

"Who just decides to throw a party?" Nico frowned, "Have you actually invited anyone yet?"

Maki humpphed, her arms holding her torso, "You. Rin." A hesitation, "My TWIG followers."

"Ugh." Nico groaned, "Just postpone it, Nico promises to come to the next one."

"No." Maki turned away, pouting.

"Nico is sorry, but…"

Maki whirled, arms flying out, words coming out in a tangled snarl, "Nico is always sorry...you, you make yourself follow Eli everywhere, you're always busy, we don't get any time alone...:"

"Nico didn't make anybody fall into the pool. Or get a concussion. And a party isn't time alone.'

"You're perfectly happy when there's a house full of people, or Eli needs you or...You...or Dia.. I can't even...you just run from person to person...but you never…" Maki spluttered.

Nico stepped in, but Maki stepped back, snapping "There's never an us."

Nico tried to reach for a hand, "That's not true. I want to spend time with you. You, on my couch, working on Nico's music was the best..."

And that was it…"On Nico's music." A snort and Maki got very calm. "Everything for Nico. Not Maki. The car should be here soon. For Nico. Good night."

And Maki charged toward the house, as Nico's futile "It's morning" got lost in a crash of the surf. Nico dropped into a chair, exasperated. It had been a long night and this explosion, at least the part over Eli, had probably been hovering for several days.

###

You and Dia were on the balcony and Nico and Maki's shouting was as clear as if they were in the same room. You was shocked at the volume and the emotion, stunned silent until Maki returned to the house with a door slam that in a less well braced location would have caused a landslide. They watched Nico sit for awhile, staring up at the house, then approach the car pulling up to the garage, exchange a few words with the driver and step inside.

"She's not going to chase down Maki? They're just leaving it like this?" You was tempted to poke Dia, to make sure this past wasn't unravelling her existence.

"Momma usually makes Mama keep…" Dia paused, "talking it out until everything's calmed down."

"But they love each other right?"

Dia looked amused, "To the death, almost."

You leaned into the railing, "I thought love was supposed to be calmer?"

"Maybe it is for some people." Dia leaned in parallel, a respectable distance away from You, "but my sister and her wife clash all the time, over the silliest things. Just like they do. Still."

"What about you?"

Dia turned her head, green eyes clear as a crystal sea, "I don't have a wife."

"Noted." You chuckled, "So what's your flirt style?"

"I do not believe I have one."

"Everyone does."

Dia held You's glance for a long moment, then turned away with a shrug, "I keep busy."

Like Nico, You thought. "So what's dating like in the future. Sexbots? Virtual dates on Mars?"

"I thought the future was off limits as a topic, Lt. Commander Watanabe." Dia's tone was arch.

"Oops, you caught me." You chuckled and ruffled her own hair, "So what did you mean when you said how many tails did Eli have?"

Dia sighed, pausing to remember old family stories, "At some point, Eli transformed...less wolf, more kitsune...something about her family tree...they used her blood for the vaccine."

"Vaccine?" You grabbed Dia's shoulder, startling the taller woman, "vaccine for what?"

"Aren't we breaking fifty rules of time travel or something?" Dia asked coldly.

"I don't care." You's intensity had a contagious quality, Dia felt her pulse rate increase as blue eyes demanded a response

Maki slid the door open, startling them, and You dropped her hands and hopped back. Maki sounded like she'd been crying, "Mama needs to go to sleep but she wants to make sure Dia doesn't have a concussion."

"Of course." You nodded, then whispered at Dia, "Vaccine for what?"

"I'll be right there, Ma…" Dia stopped herself before she finished saying Mama and Maki nodded and slid the door shut, "Some kind of mutagen or a rabies like virus, I don't exactly remember details, but it was affecting the cryptid community in LA." Dia's eyes widened, "We're in LA."

"Yes."

"And Grandmother mentioned increased assaults."

"Yes." You bit her lip. "Do you remember anything else?"

Dia shook her head, "I might have some old notes, if I could get to them…"

You didn't want another interuption and pointed to the door. "Go let your grandmother look you over before your mother throws me into the ocean."Ap

"She might." Dia nodded, tossing her next comment with a sunrise stunner of a smile as she stepped into the house, "But then she'd feel better. So I'd thank you after you swam back to shore."

You leaned back, staring at the sky, muttering to herself. "Yeah, there's the family flirt style. It leaves bruises."

A/N: Ah, for an ocean view.

[bblissfulbb]

omg thank you for tagging me and giving me something to do @epahetero :33 also sorry this took so loonng to make lol

1. what’s the colour of your hairbrush?

-black

2.is there a food you never eat?

-porridge and eggs in any shape or form, also butter grosses me out but I still use it on bread lol

3.are you usually warm or too cold?

-tbh im not sure but i would say prob cold

4.what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

-eating breakfast and watching yt

5.what’s your favourite candy bar?

-i dont know really probs mars

6.have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

-nope but i wish lol

7.what was the last thing you said out loud?

-”bye” i think????

8.favourite ice cream

-probs like cookie dough or vanilla or strawberry (basic i knoow)

9.what was the last thing you had to drink?

-milk

10.do you like your wallet?

-nopety nope i actually hate my wallet, its a weird shape, too thick and i don’t like the colour lol, i feel like this question was personally made for me

11.what was the last thing you ate?

-bread

12.did you buy any clothes last weekend?

-nope

13.what’s the last sporting event you watched?

-probs the world championship hockey last year

14.favourite flavour of popcorn?

-just the basic i haven’t tasted any other favour

15.last person you sent a text to?

- @pillukorva :)

16.ever gone camping?

-nope but i WISH

17.do you take vitamins?

-everyday sir

18.do you go to church on sundays?

-not anymore but i wish i would

19.do you have a tan?

-i think i would if i would just go outside lol

20.chinese food or pizza?

-pizza, never tried chinese :(

21.do you drink pop with straw?

-nope

22.what colour socks do you usually wear?

-boring i know but white, grey and black

23.ever driven above the speed limit?

-i have never driven bc im too scared to even get my license

24.what terrifies you?

-driving:) and also bears and the dark

25.look to your left; what do you see?

-moisturising creams

26.what chore do you hate?

-none tbh

27.what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

-surfer boys lol

28.favourite pop?

-none tbh but if i had to choose one i would say fanta or sprite

29.do you go into fast food places or hit up the drive thru

-go in

30-last person u talked to?

-my mom

31.favourite cut of beef?

-not a fan of beef tbh but just ground beef i guess

32.last song you listened to?

-nurse’s office - melanie martinez

33.last book you read?

-history 1 text book lol

34.favourite day of the week?

-friday:)

35.can you say the alphabet backwards

-my dyslexia says no (who the fuck can actually do that)

36.how do you like your coffee?

-i don’t

37.favourite pair of shoes

-either my kinda platform vans or my high heels

38.what time do you usually go to bed?

-lately at like 3am but im trying to go at last at midnight

39.when do you get up?

-lately at 12pm but im trynna wake up earlier

40.sunrises or sunsets?

-sunset expecially at summer when it doesn’t even get dark after the sunset

41.how many blankets are on your bed?

-one blanket and two fleece blankets:)

42.describe your kitchen plates?

-my own set is grey but my parents are just white and blue

43.go to alcoholic drink?

-long drink the original flavour

44.do you play cards?

-YES, but sadly not often enough:(

45.what colour is your car?

-don’t have one :(

46.can you change a tire?

-heelll no

47.favourite province?

-umm none?

48.favourite job you ever had?

-only had one and i HATED it 

49.how did you get your biggest scar?

-im really bad at shaving

50.what did you do today that made someone happy?

-haven’t really done anything but i hope answering this tag could make the tagger at least a bit happy :)

i have no idea who to tag so im just tag @pillukorva @rokayas @business-pug

dont feel forced to answer!!!!!

[1-1snailxd-art]

The Shield to your Sword

Masterlist 

Overview

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Type: Alternate Universe - Fantasy and Magic 

Rating: Mature (just to be safe - there will be injuries and death throughout the general story) 

Warnings: injury, blood, physical abuse, emotional abuse, character death, curses, swearing (please message me if more need to be added)  

Relationships: Prinxiety (Roman & Virgil) 

Fandom Characters: Prince Roman Aelin, Virgil Fidencio, Logan Rae Lason, Deceit (Snake Eyes), Patton *spoiler*, Remus *spoiler* 

Summary: Roman is the arrogant, but naïve, Prince of Azmar; a kingdom in the land of Sanderz. Virgil is an orphan the Queen took in as a companion for Roman, and they have been a pair ever since. Though he thinks the world of his closest friend, Roman will discover there is much Virgil has kept from him over the years. The truth is a tough pill to swallow, but Roman is going to have to swallow it if he is to save those he holds dear and protect his people from an invading kingdom.

Ao3 link (just in case mobile is being unfair and messing up my paragraphs) 

Tag Support Team

Thank you so much to these individuals who took an interest in my fantasy concept. The sample you read will be in a later chapter. I decided to build Roman and the realm up a bit more prior to presenting that scene, rather than flashing back. 

@small-reptile-cake @daflangstlairde @quoth-the-sparrow @it-me-the-phi @soul-of-a-vixen @the-real-wholesome-bitch @phe-purple-parade-ts

________________________________________

Chapter 1 - Prince’s Paradise

The morning light slipped between the parts in Prince Roman’s curtains as the winds changed direction. Sunlight reflected off Roman’s mirror; shining directly onto his eyelids and blinding him as he blinked at the disruption to his rest. With a groan, Roman sat up; running his fingers through his naturally auburn hair and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Peering around his room, he noted that fresh clothes had already been laid out for him, along with a glass of water and an apple.

Smiling to himself, Roman grabbed the apple and moved to open his curtains, revealing his view of his mother’s  garden, and the edge of the training area. Taking a seat on the sill, he looked out at what he believed to be paradise. Happy citizens, healthy stock, plenty of crops and a strong, armed force; what more could a Prince ask for?

Setting the apple core on his side table, Roman headed to his bathroom. Stripping down, the prince ran his hands over the heat and water runes, feeling his soul magic run from his fingertips and activate the magic to start his shower. He bathed briefly, simply to warm his muscles and freshen his hair for the day ahead; waving his hand across the runes again, the water flow ceased immediately.  

Magic was a common thing in the lands of Sanderz. The natural magic of the land had been harnessed generations prior, as individuals became aware of their own soul magic and used ancient runes to control both magic types. As the years progressed, more and more developed an awareness of magic and the art of using runes evolved. In modern times, runes were in common use by those with and without an awareness of magic.

Some saw their magical abilities as a blessing, but for Roman it was just his birthright. Nothing to be thankful for, just a power to flaunt as he pleased. Walking the castle halls, he summoned his sword from the tattoo on his wrist; swinging and twirling the blade to a beat only he could hear. His white uniform a clear contrast against the brick walls and his black pants. Many had said that his style choice was foolish, but Roman loved the idea of parading in the crimson blood of his enemies after a battle.

 His footsteps echoed loudly in the private dining room as he danced his way inside.

“Good morning, Prince Roman.”

Roman spun, sword vanishing from his hand as he faced the young maid standing in the corner.

“Good morning, Iris!” He gave the girl a pleasant smile, but she quickly bowed her head as she did every time Roman spoke.

“Shall I fetch you your breakfast?”

“That would be wonderful. Oh, Iris, have you seen Virgil this morning?”

“Apologies, I have not. I shall send for him at once.” Iris quickly headed for the door.

“Uh, no-no.” Roman’s words fell on deaf ears as Iris left the room with her mission in mind. “I do hope Virgil doesn’t mind me calling for him.”

 **********************

 Virgil had finally achieved a deep sleep after completing a late night on guard duty. Though he was technically a ward of the Queen, Virgil still took on work so he could share his earnings with those less fortunate than him. Not to mention, he liked the added security of being self-sufficient should he suddenly be cast out of the castle.

He would have happily slept until lessons that afternoon, but Iris roughly shook him awake.

“Virgil… Virgil, please wake up.”

“Wha-what is -oing on?” He grumbled through a yawn; slowly sitting up.

“Prince Roman has requested your presence for breakfast.”

“Oh, has he now. Tell him I’m busy.” With that, Virgil pulled the blankets over his head and laid back down.

“No, Virgil, please.” Iris begged, shaking Virgil with more force now. “I can’t defy the Prince, I can’t.”

The fear in Iris’s voice woke Virgil up as he realised what he had just asked the young maid to do. If word got to the King that they had defied the Prince, they would both be punished. Sitting up, Virgil looked into Iris’s tearful and terrified eyes; apologising as he pulled her into a secure hug.

“I know. I’m sorry, Iris. I’m coming. It’s okay. I’m coming.”

 While Iris left to fetch breakfast, Virgil was quick to change into fresh clothes; a loose long-sleeved purple shirt, black vest and pants. Grabbing a leather bag containing his training gear, Virgil left his chambers and headed up to the dining room to meet Roman.

  **********************

 Virgil’s footsteps were silent in the halls as he approached the dining room to find Roman admiring himself in a mirror. Leaning against the doorframe, Virgil watched as the Prince picked at a loose gold thread on his uniforms decorative design.

“Oh, you wish to challenge me, do you?” Roman asked his reflection, and Virgil stifled a laugh. “I am afraid you are out of luck, for this shall not be a challenge for me!”

Roman summoned his sword, slashing at the mirror as he pretended to fight his ‘foe’; before turning and catching Virgil’s smiling form in the doorway.

Straightening immediately, Roman retracted his sword and tried to hide his embarrassment. “Virgil! Good to see you. Ho-how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to make the wakeup call worth it, Princey.” The prince’s face reddened as Virgil walked over to the table, unable to remove the grin that lit up his face.

“Um, yes, well…” Roman was at a loss for words and Virgil revelled in every second of it.

“You know, if you use all your magic playing games with yourself, you’ll have nothing left for actual practice later.”

“Me? Run out of magic? Ha! That is impossible.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “you’ve got skill, Roman, but even you have limits.”

“Says you.”

“Says facts.”

“Facts shm-acts, I know what I’m capable of and I-“

 Virgil was thankful that Roman’s rambling was cut short as Iris returned with a plate and bowl in hand.

“Your breakfast, Prince Roman.” Iris placed the loaded plate before Roman, and the bowl of porridge in front of Virgil. “Is there anything else you require?”

“No thank you, Iris. That is all.”

With a quick bow of her head, Iris scurried out of the room. Roman eyed his plate of sausages, bacon, eggs, tomato, mushroom and a fresh bread roll. Once Virgil was sure the room was clear, he reached over and grabbed the bacon from Roman’s plate.

“Hey!” Roman pouted as the other smirked and licked the smoked meat. “That was my breakfast.”

“And this is my payment.” Virgil glanced sideways at his friend, “you did wake me after a night shift on guard duty.”

Mouth full of tomato, Roman paused mid bite as he suddenly remembered Virgil asking not to be woken that morning. Forcing himself to swallow, he gave his friend an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Again, Virgil checked the room was clear, before reaching for the honey on the table and sweetening his meal. “Just please, Ro, no wake-up calls tomorrow. I need a little more than 3hours sleep if I’m going to protect your arse.”

“My ‘arse’ does not need protecting, but I will keep that in mind. I don’t want to be seen hanging around with Sir Racoon Eyes.”

“Nice. Very original. Now eat your breakfast.”

 The pair continued to eat in silence; Virgil easily cleaning his bowl before Roman. Cautious eyes scanned the room before Virgil snuck any more of Roman’s leftovers. This banter was common between the pair, though he was always careful. Roman may have accepted and appreciated Virgil’s antics, but that didn’t make them appropriate in the eyes of the King or his knights.

 With full bellies, the pair leaned back in their chairs and shared a bemused grin, which quickly soured as a question came to Virgil’s mind.

“Has there been any word on your Mother’s condition?”

Roman looked down at his lap, fidgeting with the gold band on his middle finger.

 The Queen had been unwell for the past 5 years. Plagued by frequent chest infections from an old war wound. Virgil hadn’t seen her in months, thanks to the King’s increasing distrust towards him. Unless the Queen herself called on him, Virgil was not permitted to access to her chambers. Even when Roman had asked him to accompany them, he was quick to find an excuse to avoid the possibility of crossing paths with the King. Despite everything, Virgil still worried for his surrogate mother and it hurt that he couldn’t see her more often.

 “She is as can be expected for the spring.” Roman admitted, “I try not to go to her room too much. All the pollen, you know.”

Virgil nodded, quietly wishing he hadn’t brought it up as he watched the sadness take over Roman’s usually happy features.

“We should probably get out of here,” Virgil finally offered, “I’m sure Iris is just itching to return and clean the room up.”

As if hearing her cue, Iris entered the room.

“I hope everything was to your liking, Prince Roman.” Eyes never rising higher than the table, she quickly collected the dishes.

Sadness dissipating, Roman was back to his usual self. “It was indeed. Bacon was a little light,” he gave Virgil a sideways grin, “but I enjoyed it none the less.”

“Oh. Um. I’m sorry.” Iris quickly left the room faster than a mouse that had run across a heat rune.

As soon as Iris was gone, Virgil punched Roman’s shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?” Rubbing his shoulder, Roman looked at Virgil in confusion.

“You can’t say shit like that to her.”

“Chill out, Virge.” he mused, rising from the table, “It just means more bacon tomorrow and I can willingly share it with you.”

 Virgil internally fumed as he followed Roman out of the room. The Prince truly was blind to the power he held over those around him and how that one little statement could force a cook to be banished from the castle, or even incarcerated for not ‘meeting the needs of the royal family’. Walking through the halls, Virgil just hoped Roman’s comment wasn’t blown out of proportion or fell onto the wrong ears. Iris may have been timid and useless in Roman’s presence, but she was far from foolish; that’s what Virgil believed to be true anyway. He had to believe. The last thing he wanted was to have a family’s misfortune on his conscience.

  **********************

 The sun had reached its midpoint, as Virgil lent against a tree with his eyes shut and did his best to tune out Roman’s grunts as he continued to lift weights. The pair had spent a few hours completing solo weapons training and strength development. Normally, Virgil was more than happy to put his endurance to the test, but his early morning call meant he wasn’t in the mood for Roman’s antics.

 "Come spar with me, Virgil," Roman called, throwing a weighted stone aside and causing the ground to vibrate slightly.

"I'm not in the mood, Princey." Virgil called back, not even acknowledging Roman with a glance.

"Oh, come on." Whined Roman, sauntering over to cast a shadow over his friend. "You've been laying there forever."

"Don't be so dramatic, and if you hadn't of woken me I wouldn't be so tired right now."

"And I'm being dramatic," Roman playfully kicked Virgil's boot. " Come on. One quick spar."

"Roman, no."

"Come ooooooon."

"Let it go, Princ-"

 "I believe your Prince gave you a request."

 Virgil's eyes shot open at the sound of the King's commanding voice, and he wished he had a giant camouflage rune so he could disappear into the tree behind him. He knew instantly that he was in trouble, the tone alone was terrifying, but the fire in his eyes communicated his anger tenfold.

"Father!" Roman was beaming, oblivious to the tension in the air. "It is good to see you outside. Would you like to spar with me?"

"No thank you, Roman." The King’s gaze barely shifted from Virgil as he spoke. "But I would be interested to observe a duel between yourself and young Virgil."

"Wonderful, come on Virgil." Roman extended a hand to help the other up and they had enough sense to not refuse this time. "That's more like it. I'll just get my practice runes on."

"No, Roman." The King held up a hand and shook his head. "I could watch a spar any time I chose. I wish to see a duel of the Furnder style."

Virgil's blood chilled in his veins at the mention of the term. He had hoped, as had Roman, that the King only wished to watch them spar with blunted weapons. Instead he wanted a duel. Bloodshed. At least Furnder style meant first to bleed loses, but the activity was not something Virgil wished to partake in with Roman.

 "Oh, a, ah, Furnder duel." Roman sounded surprisingly nervous. "I don't want- I mean, I’m sure - um…”

“Grab your straps, Prince Roman.” Virgil kept his voice level and void of emotion. “The King has made a request and we should honour it.”

“Oh, well, okay then.” All concern was gone from his voice after hearing Virgil accept the duel.

 Virgil reached into his pack, retrieving leather guards that covered the tops of his hands and wrapped around his forearms. The leather was embossed with runes Virgil had crafted; he could summon various arrow tips and shafts in an instant by allowing his soul magic to activate different runes. He slipped a leather vest on, before setting to tighten his straps and activating metal runes to strengthen his leather protections and clothes.

Roman retrieved a red sash of royal emblems and runes, equipping the seemingly loose fabric across his shoulder and lopping a thick belt around his middle. He too pulled on guards for his forearms and activated protections; the sash stiffening along with his usual uniform. 

 Fully equipped, the pair strode to the face each other in the centre of the training grounds; the King keeping a trained eye on them as they moved. The wind seemed to die out, allowing an eerie feeling to settle over the usually lively field. Virgil’s stomach twisted as he processed his situation - On one hand, he would have to fight Roman as wholeheartedly as possible, so as to not offend Roman and the King. On the other hand, should he actually cause Roman harm, the King would be sure to punish him greatly. There was no way out of the situation, only careful fighting and a hope that he could avoid both of those evils.

 “Virgil Fidencio. Prince Roman Aelin of Azmar. You have agreed to partake in a Furnder duel.” The King’s voice seemed distant to Virgil; though there was no wind to disrupt it from reaching his ear. “You shall honour the laws of Lord Furnder. The duel is over once blood is drawn from either participant; fatal blows are unnecessary but not dishonourable. Your actions are your own. All advances will cease when blood is drawn; are you both in agreeance?”

“Aye, sire.” The young men called in unison, eyes meeting; one fearful but determined, the other excited to demonstrate his skill.

“Arms at the ready!”

Virgil and Roman summoned their weapons simultaneously; the sun instantly reflecting off Roman’s sword and meeting Virgil’s eyes. Bow firmly gripped in his right-hand, Virgil felt the tips of his fingers on his left-hand tingle as he primed his soul magic to craft arrows.

“Have honour!”

Roman widened his stance, keeping his sword low and eyes fixed on his opponent. They had sparred many times with blunt weapons and were just beginning to receive missions outside of the castle walls. The young Prince was ready to prove that he was worthy, not just in age, but in skill.

“Begin!”

 Reflexes lightning fast, Virgil summoned an arrow and sent it at Roman.

“Shield up” Virgil mentally commanded.

A red shield appeared as Roman raised his right arm, knocking the arrow aside as he advanced. With a slide of his right index finger, a semi-translucent shield formed in front of Virgil’s bow. The sword met the shield with a jarring force, but Virgil held strong and pushed the sword aside.

“Guard your centre,” Virgil begged as he kicked forward.

His foot hit shield as Roman summoned it again; preparing to swing his sword back. A smile quirked Virgil’s lips as Roman instinctively braced to push him back. Using the added momentum, Virgil pushed off the shield to flip backwards and away from Roman’s sword; pulling an arrow into position the moment he was grounded.

“Be prepared for anything,” Virgil felt his wrist warm as he released one arrow and summoned another with a burning tip; taking backwards steps on the diagonal to keep his distance from Roman.

The arrows struck Roman’s shield, the fire arrow making an explosion on impact that caused his vision to blur. Regardless, Roman exchanged his sword for a throwing knife and charged forward. Even with his sight impeded, Virgil still had to summon his shield to protect himself as Roman hurled the knife towards him. As the prince re-summoned his sword, Virgil thought he saw his out.

 Dropping his shield, Virgil pulled another arrow as Roman quickly closed the gap between them.

“Shield up.”

His fingers moved naturally to release the arrow just as Virgil’s keen eyes noted Roman’s relaxed guard arm. In a split-second reaction, he formed and released additional arrows in an attempt to divert or destroy the first.

Roman’s mind was tunnel focused as his sword crossed his body in preparation to swing at Virgil. By the time his eyes focused, two arrows collided in front of his face in a cloud of smoke and he swung blindly into the space before him. The smoke concealed them from the King’s watchful eye, and the boys were trapped in grey darkness.

A feeling of smooth resistance was enough for Roman to recognise that his blade had struck true. Activating a whirlwind rune, he quickly cleared the smoke to find Virgil crouching while aiming a freshly strung arrow at him; blood oozing from a deep gash on his left arm.

 Clapping had Roman’s chest exploding with pride.

“What a brilliant display, Roman.”

Roman beamed down at Virgil at the King’s words; retracting his sword and deactivating his runes. Virgil did the same before lowering his head in shame, unable to reciprocate Roman’s euphoria as his eyes caught the fine trail of blood that ran down his right cheek.

“There is no shame in losing, Virgil.” Roman assured, still oblivious to his injury from sheer adrenaline. “It was a fine duel, wasn’t it, Father?”

Any evidence of a smile was immediately removed from the King’s face as Roman turned towards him.

“Your face was scathed.” Virgil felt the King’s presence, despite never raising his head.

Roman reached up with cautious fingers, suddenly aware of the sting as his fingers traced the cut up his cheek and to his ear.

“Huh, you managed to strike me, Virgil,” the sound of Roman’s laugh only had Virgil feeling twice as terrified for his future. “I’m impressed. Though this makes it difficult to determine the true champion. Would it be fair to call us even, Father?”

“Go see the physician, Roman,” was the King’s blunt reply, and Virgil felt the bile rising in the back of his throat as royal boots stepped into his peripheral vision.

“Father, it is just a scratch and Virgil-“

“The physician, Roman. I wish to speak with Virgil in private.”

“But he’s -“

“I’m fine,” Roman looked down to meet Virgil’s deep brown eyes. “Prince Roman. Go see to your health.”

 Virgil hated having to speak so formally to his friend, but it was required in the King’s presence. Even as children, Virgil was always expected to treat Roman in a more formal manner, despite the Queen’s kind words that the boys were equals. Watching Roman walk away now, more than anything in the world, Virgil wished the Queen’s words were true. As soon as Roman was out of view, Virgil again lowered his head and kneeled before the unkind King.

**********************

End Note:

Thank you for reading and I really hoped you enjoyed it. Please don’t hesitate to pass on any feedback or questions you have about the story. Thanks again to my lovely Tag Support Team. You are the reason I decided to writing this story.

Side Note: updates will come as I am able. I work full time and have one other WIP. I will try and balance my updates between both...unless there is more interest in one over the other. 

💜🐌 Snail

**********************

Chapter 2   — Masterlist 

What else have I done:

The Perfect Ring (oneshot - analogical proposal)

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

Libraries are for Meetings (ongoing WIP - Human/University au with Royality and developing Analogical. Slow burn and heavily focused on a grieving group of friends that Virgil slowly becomes a part of to better himself.) 

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles​

[rufousnmacska]

Goodbye and Hello - 4

Manon and Dorian said goodbye in Orynth. But for them, saying hello again is only a matter of time.

Kingdom of Ash spoilers

Tagging @itach-i @nestasbucket @manontrashbeak @blackhavilliard @bookishwitchling @jimetg98

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged 😊

fanfic master list (includes the link to my fics on AO3)

Part One: I Wish…

Part Two: Another Day

Part Three: Those Two Words

Part Four: Breakfast in Bed

Manon couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept.

On the rare nights when she actually fell asleep, it never lasted long. Dreams kept her from getting any rest. For every nightmare about the battle, she had mundane dreams that left her just as lonely and drained. Visions of the Thirteen yielding, conversations with Asterin or Dorian, or even the sister she’d killed. Memories from when she’d come of age and formed her coven. They plagued her each night.

As she struggled to come wake, Manon wondered exactly how long it had been. A year perhaps? Yes, definitely before the war. Which meant she just had her first full night’s sleep in about a year.

Opening her eyes to a dark room, her mind stumbled in groggy confusion as she tried to recognize her surroundings. A fire flickered from somewhere behind her, and there was a sliver of daylight coming through the curtains. Silky soft sheets caressed her bare skin as she rolled onto her back.

The Ferian Gap.

It was completely remade from the horrible place of valg infested men where she’d once lived. The rukhin were transforming the Omega into more of a home than a military outpost. She started to doze off again, reaching towards the other side of the bed for the warm body on which she’d fallen asleep.

When her fingers met nothing, she stretched further, thinking perhaps the bed was bigger than she’d remembered.

Manon jerked fully awake and sat up. Ignoring the clench in her gut and the rush of her pulse, she scanned the room for Dorian. But like the bed, it was empty.

The bathing room door hung open, showing no signs that he was in there. From where she still sat motionless in gloomy darkness, she couldn’t see any bags or clothing strewn across the furniture, or piled on the floor.

This reaction was irrational and stupid. And it was something she could not control. No matter how she tried to steady her breathing or reason out where he could be or hear above the formless ringing in her ears, her body refused to obey. Frustration wove itself into the fear and she bit her lip, trying to will the first tear from breaking free.

“Manon?”

She twisted towards the door, where Dorian now stood holding a tray piled high with plates and bowls. Strange aromas - spicy, savory, sweet - wafted through the air as he lightly kicked the door closed behind him.

She’d thought he’d left. Not to get them breakfast. But left. Gone.

Just the sight of him eased some of the pressure and gnawing ache in her chest. But the damned tears had not disappeared. One fell and she turned away before he could see it.

More tears threatened as she noticed one of his shirts crumpled on the bed, less than a foot away and within easy reach. It had escaped her search moments before. Manon grabbed it and threw it over her head. By the time she looked at him, her eyes were dry.

He still stood by the door, watching her, his brows knit in confusion and his gaze searching her inch by inch, like a flame on her skin. She thought about blaming her state on a nightmare, but she didn’t have the energy to lie.

For whatever reason, Dorian said nothing as he sat the tray on a table. An invisible lash of his magic opened the curtains to a bright sunny day. Squinting against the sudden light, Manon excused herself to the bathing room. 

She saw to her needs quickly and returned to the bedroom. Dorian was rearranging what looked like days’ worth of food, spreading everything out on the table. When she pulled out a chair to sit, he shook his head and ushered her back to the freshly made bed.

“Breakfast in bed. Remember?”

Dorian was back to the table by the time she recalled their goodbye in Orynth, and the life he’d wished for them. Travel, no responsibilities, libraries for him, weapons for her, nights like the one they’d just shared, and yes, breakfast in bed. 

Manon sat cross-legged and watched as he continued with his preparations. His very literal take on ‘breakfast in bed’ seemed silly. And potentially messy. But the sight of so many dishes distracted her from the thought. “How much do you think I eat?” she asked.

He laughed, and she knew from its lilting tone that he would not press her about what he’d walked in on. At least, not yet.

“I know how much you eat, but not what you eat. Or rather, what you like.” He raised a steaming silver kettle high above a mug and began to pour. “One of the cooks in the kitchen showed me how to do this properly,” he said, speaking slowly to concentrate on not spilling.

Most of the black liquid ended up in the mugs and he flashed her a grin that was irresistible. Relenting to his charm, Manon clapped, without too much sarcasm, and was instantly rewarded with an even brighter smile. Dorian brought the tray over and placed it on the top of the bed, then sat carefully across from her.

“I’ve never seen tea like this,” she said, looking down into a mug. Now more of a caramel color, the liquid was swirling with foam.

“That’s because it isn’t tea. It’s kahve. Milk and sugar are used to counter the bitterness.” Quickly, he added, “As I learned yesterday morning when I almost spat it out all over the table. Did I mention that I’ve made a wonderful first impression here?”

Manon laughed quietly, raised the mug, and inhaled. It smelled very good, like nothing she’d had before. Spicy and nutty, with other earthy scents she couldn’t quite place.

“What is your favorite food anyway?” he asked, handing her a napkin and utensils.

After so many years of eating only what was available - whatever game could be caught, the slop served here and then at Morath, travel and war rations - Manon didn’t have an answer. Like sleep, it was difficult to remember the last time she’d had a choice in what she ate. The food they had in the Wastes was nourishing and hearty, but nothing extravagant. Their options were limited by what they’d been able to grow in one season, or acquire through trade, which wasn’t much since they had little to offer in exchange.

“I don’t really know,” she admitted, feeling foolish as soon as the words were out of her mouth. “I don’t cook. Except for what I can catch. Game, fish. And this past year, we didn’t have a lot of variety.”

“Well, it’s good that I brought a little of everything then. Maybe something in here will become your favorite.”

“You made all of this?”

Sheepishly, he said, “No. I made some of it. Most are things imported from the Southern Continent that they keep stocked in the kitchens.” He took the napkin she’d done nothing with and spread it out over her lap, then began naming things as he pointed to each plate.

“Smoked and cured meats. Warning, some are spicy. A few different kinds of cheese. Olives.”

“I know what meat and cheese and olives are”, she said dryly, but Dorian ignored her.

“Dried mango, candied ginger...” He went on, naming a bunch of fruits from the Southern Continent that she’d never heard of. “Nothing fresh unfortunately but that’s the nature of bringing in food from so far away.”

Pointing to a still warm loaf covered in seeds and nuts, he said, “I believe you know what bread is.” Another laugh escaped her lips before she could hold it in. “Porridge,” he continued, lifting the lid off a bowl. “And to make it palatable,” three more containers were uncovered, “honey, orange jam, and yoghurt.”

Before he could tell her that the bowl of almonds did in fact contain almonds, she asked, “And what did you make?”

“Ah! The main course.” There was a large, oval platter in the middle of the tray, its contents hidden by a ceramic lid. With a flourish, he pulled it off and announced, “Eggs with cheese, ham, peppers, and tomatoes. I usually put different vegetables in it but I had to improvise.”

Manon examined the dish, bent over to smell it, then poked it with her fork. “It looks edible.”

“You won’t know until you try it,” he purred.

They had flocks of chickens at the Keep, so she ate eggs often. But unlike her normal breakfast, these were fluffy and light. At least the parts not drenched in melted cheese. Trying to get a little of everything, she gathered the egg concoction onto her fork and took a bite. He watched her like a hawk, waiting for any reaction, any tiny sign of enjoyment. Manon kept her face stonily flat as she chewed. Upon swallowing, she immediately reached for more.

Dorian leaned over and kissed her cheek. With the touch of his lips, she realized she was smiling.

Just as she began sampling the other food, he casually said, “Let’s play a game while we eat. A question for a question.”

Manon froze with her fork midway to her mouth. His eyes held the please he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, speak.

“I already asked one, so it’s your turn. We can’t give yes or no answers, and we each have the right to refuse...” He thought for a moment. “Three questions.”

She finished the jam laden bite of porridge. “Don’t we have to meet the Captain soon?”

“I saw Orghana already. She’s giving us the day to ourselves.” Manon arched a brow, to which Dorian innocently replied, “We got here early and they weren’t prepared for everything yet.”

She reached for her mug. The kahve was still steaming, almost too hot to hold, but she kept it cradled in her hands anyway. Warmth settled through her as she took a few tentative sips. It was good, she decided, savoring the sharp bite that came after the initial sweetness.

Dorian ate while she stalled. As she looked over the tray of food, at all he’d done, she decided she could at least try. He was giving her an out. Three of them, in fact.

“Okay.” Manon finally said, staring at him to gauge how far she could go in her questions. She remembered every single letter from him, every thought and confession. But there were things he hadn’t said that she’d wondered about.

“Now that you know more about your father, how he gave you his name, do you feel differently about him?”

***

Dorian almost choked on his kahve. As he cleared his throat, she watched with a mix of curiosity and apology. And just a hint of you asked for this.

“I was expecting something along the lines of ‘what is your favorite color’,” he joked, but she made no move to alter the question. Not that he’d expect her to. So, after some thought, he said, “When I think about him, it is... different than before. In some ways.”

His letters had contained almost everything – what he’d learned from Erawan, how he’d seen his father in the space between worlds, even the one or two details he’d managed to pull from his mother. But it had always been straightforward accounts of what had happened, never anything deeper.  

“Honestly, I still hate him for what he did. All the people he hurt. But...” He’d never admitted this to anyone else, not even Chaol. “But there is love too, for his help in the end. For knowing he’d fought back as much as he could.”

Manon smiled. She had once tried to get him to consider that his father had not been his true self and perhaps didn’t deserve the full brunt of Dorian’s hate. But he’d refused.

“I wasn’t able to see that before,” he acknowledged. “And there are days when I can’t see past the destruction he left behind. When all I can focus on is the bad. But mostly, I pity him.” Manon listened to every word, almost greedily. It made him think this wasn’t just about him and his father. Yes, she wanted to know about that. But it was almost like there was a different question hidden within it. One she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, ask.

“I don’t know who he really was, let alone who he could have become. That’s what I wonder about more than anything. The what-ifs.” After a long pause, he admitted to something else he’d never said out loud. “Sometimes, when I have to make a difficult decision, I imagine what he might have done. The real him, not the valg. I wonder if I could have made him proud.” Shaking his head, he huffed a laugh. “I don’t know if any of that made sense.”

“It did.” Her voice was thoughtful and quiet, her eyes intense and glowing. A moment passed before she shifted her attention back to the food.

“My turn,” he said, giving her his most mischievous grin. Not giving her a chance to protest, he asked, “What is your favorite color?”

This time her laugh was a little louder, a little more joyful. After a few moments, she said, “I’ve never had a reason to think about it.” Manon looked around the room before stopping and fixating on his eyes. “Blue.”

Dorian’s grin softened. “Good answer, witchling.”

“The blue of the sky in the Wastes,” she amended, drinking more kahve. “Sometimes, when the clouds are just right, it looks like the horizon is on fire from the setting sun. There’s a moment right before it disappears, when the sky is a deep blue. But there’s still that tiny bit of sunlight that makes it bright and distinct from the black. It’s impossible to describe, but it’s one of the things I’ve come to love about the Wastes.” She narrowed her eyes. “What?”

He almost said it. Listening to her, watching her face glow at the picture her memory painted of sunsets in the Wastes, he almost said he loved her. But he didn’t.

That lit up joy was a harsh contrast to the sight of her earlier, panicked and gasping for air, tears filling her eyes. He’d told himself she’d just come out of a nightmare. Even though she’d slept deeply the entire night, hardly stirring. Even though when he’d left to get breakfast, she was still fast asleep.

Biting back the words he wanted to say, Dorian replied, "That’s a better answer.”

She smiled and reached for a pastry. “And yours, princeling?”

“I was never able to settle on a single favorite color growing up. It always changed. But, I’ve always been partial to red,” he said, lifting her braid to admire the bright ribbon of fabric securing the end. “And I like gold.” Nodding back to the sofa, the red and gold wyvern of the Havilliard crest stood out on his heavy cloak. “But not that shade.” He leaned over so he was barely an inch from her face. “This gold,” he said, looking into her eyes. “This is my favorite.”

Manon gifted him a soft smile, which he promptly committed to memory.

“My turn,” he said, sitting back and popping a sugared almond into his mouth. “How do you think the rukhin will take to wyverns?”

There was no pause this time as Manon said, matter of factly, “They won’t have any trouble flying once they adjust to the larger size, which won’t take long. But wyverns are different animals. Their dominance hierarchies are more complex than they appear. It’s not just about sex or size. Abraxos is proof of that.”

Dorian suspected the rider had quite a bit of influence over the mount, but he didn’t interrupt. Instead, he watched happily as she grew more animated while describing some of the training she had planned for the coming days. He knew the challenge - not the kahve - was the source of her excitement. Manon would be in her element here, and he couldn’t wait to see it.

***

He was staring at her again. Staring as if he’d never seen her before. Or, as if he wanted to toss the tray of food off the bed and continue where they’d left off last night. Or like he was on the verge of saying something.  

Dorian’s face was usually like an open book to her. Sometimes she could see the writing clearly, other times, it was more like a picture book, only giving away broad strokes of the story. Right now, she knew he wanted to tell her something, but she didn’t know what.

As she reached for a pastry, Dorian picked up one of the larger treats and offered it to her. “Try this one first. I want to see if you like it.”

It was a square of golden dough, with corners pressed together in the middle, a dark filling, and sprinkles of large sugar crystals on top. Manon took it, but didn’t bite into it. “Trying to distract me from my next question?” she teased.

Dorian waved a hand. “Go ahead. Ask me anything.”

“Do you enjoy being a king?”

With an uncomfortable laugh, he said, “I’m going to reconsider playing these kinds of games with you in the future.”

The certainty in his voice, that they had a future together, made something in her relax. Manon hadn’t even known the tension was there, until it subsided.

“Yes, and no,” he said.

She waited for more and when he went back to eating, she sat the pastry down. “Answers cannot be yes or no,” she reminded him. He opened his mouth but she held up her hand. “And ‘yes, and no’ is the same thing as a singular yes, or a singular no.”

That grin was back, and Manon had to look away.

She’d told a partial lie earlier. Her favorite color was the blue of his eyes. It was why she loved the evening skies in the Wastes. In that flash of time before darkness, she was always reminded of his eyes. The sight of them now, ablaze with intensity, left Manon feeling utterly defenseless.

“I enjoy helping people. In some ways, I even enjoy that Adarlan is starting over. I wish it wasn’t because of war, but the chance to change things is exciting. It would be so much easier if I could just make proclamations and laws and see them done without the paperwork and meetings and politics.” He let out a heavy sigh. “If I never see another petition asking me to step in between two petty lords arguing over a border, I’d die happy.”

“Hmm. I never took you for a despot,” she mused.

“A benevolent despot,” he corrected. “Now, will you tell me what you think of that pastry?”

The smart ass had made it into a question. Manon huffed a laugh, then took a bite.

Her eyes flashed wide in surprise. “What is this?!”

“You’ve never had chocolate?”

“This is chocolate?” She ate the rest in one bite and grabbed another. “I’ve had something called chocolate but it didn’t taste like this. I’ve always wondered why people went crazy for it.”

He pushed the plate towards her, separating the chocolate pastries from the others. “They’re all yours,” he said. “I like the poppy seed myself.” Dorian selected one with a black, slightly gooey filling. “Try dipping yours in the kahve.”

She did, closing her eyes in pleasure. The flavors alone were amazing, but mixed together... She’d never tasted anything like it in her life.

“I think we found your favorite food. And drink,” he laughed. “I won’t make you give a verbal answer. This will suffice.”

Catching herself just before she spat out bits of the pastry, Manon started laughing too. He was beaming at her, just as he had when she’d first donned her crown so many months ago.

And just like that, unbidden and unwanted, memories flooded her mind. Images of the Thirteen, that battle, the yielding.

It was too much. Too many emotions coursed through her, twisting up with this sudden empty vulnerability. Manon didn’t know how to react, and before she could control it, her laugh turned into a choked sob. One moment she was actually happy, and the next, she was again forcing back tears.

***

Dorian made himself memorize everything about this moment. Manon, cross-legged on the bed, driving him mad by wearing his shirt, eating and drinking and laughing as if they had no cares in the world. As if they were the only two people alive.

But with no warning, no apparent reason, a shadow seemed to overtake her, and she was on the verge of tears.

He grabbed the tray and put it aside, returning to sit in front of her. “Manon?”

“Ask me when I last laughed,” she whispered shakily, staring down at her empty hands, open and lifeless in her lap.

His heart felt as though it were shattering, and he had no idea what to do. “It’s your turn,” he replied numbly, hating himself for being such a fool. For thinking this stupid breakfast could somehow fix things.

You can’t fix her.

Chaol’s words came back, almost a taunt in his head.

Cupping her cheek, he wiped away some of the tears before they fell. He knew the answer, but still, he asked, “When?”

“I don’t know,” she said, leaning into his touch. “I can’t remember ever laughing.”

“I’ve heard you laugh,” he said. “It’s my favorite sound.” He let go of her face to hold onto her now trembling hands.

“Some days are okay,” she went on, watching him rub her palms. “I can function, make decisions, force myself to seem normal. And other days, most days, it’s like I’m wading through a fog.” Her shoulder rose in a half-hearted shrug before she curled in on herself. “I must look normal though. No one says anything. No one notices.”

For a split second, Dorian was flung back in time to when he’d been imprisoned by the valg collar. No one had questioned its presence, his behavior. He’d felt so alone, so lost, he’d wished for death.

But Manon had noticed. She had seen the real him hiding within, and for some reason, she’d deemed him worthy of living. Enough to risk her life to try and save his.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “When you didn’t write, I should have known. I should have come.” Instead, godsdamn him, he’d let his doubts and insecurities get the better of him.  

“It’s ok,” she said flatly.

“No, it’s not.”

A shadow flitted across her face, along with that wariness from last night. “I’m tired,” she said, bringing an end to the conversation.

You can’t fix her.

Maybe not, Dorian thought. But he wouldn’t give up on her again.

As she lay down, he reached for a blanket and threw it over them both. Underneath, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into her ear. “And I won’t let you go.”

He felt a slight nod of her head, the release of a held breath, and within minutes, she was asleep.

***

For the second time today, Manon awoke dazed in a dimly lit room and had to remind herself where she was.

 And for the second time ever, she awoke to the presence of a strong, solid body pressed against her back, an arm draped over her waist, and warm, steady breaths caressing her skin where Dorian nuzzled her neck.

The morning they had parted in Orynth had been the first.

Somehow knowing she was awake, he kissed her shoulder. “I’m here, witchling.”

Manon pulled her arm out from under his and took his hand. With their fingers interlaced, she brought it to her chest, forcing him to shift even closer. Then she fell back to sleep.

 To be continued...

[zealousnightsublime]

#1 Best Berry for High Blood Sugar, Say Dietitians

I was quickly told that I had an embolism (i.e. a blocked artery in my leg), high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and that I was overweight. Not much fun there! Intermittent confinement made work increasingly difficult, so much so that I became a prisoner of my house and garden. Exercise goes without saying, my legs can't cope, but it is hoped that angioplasty on each leg will solve the problem. This is not the case.I am assured that my high blood pressure can be treated with a weight loss and weight loss medication. The cocktail of four different drugs worked, but I couldn't lose weight. So I have a choice: blood sugar can be controlled with medication or with diet. Since I've been on four different blood pressure medications, I thought it would be best to try to control my diet. I also hope that it can help me lose weight. But where to start? My diabetes nurse provided me with a blood glucose meter and told me I should try to stay under 9 as my results. The doctor told me to stay below 7. Now she has reduced that number to below 5. My current long term index is 5.3. A huge drop from the high reads I produced. So what did I do? At first, I took blood samples three times a day and was really surprised at how my blood sugar spiked. Porridge and water, which I love, produce an index of 16, however, being a slow-release multigrain, I've always assumed it would be good for my health. A single apple, showing a reading of 12! Unsweetened Milk Tea, 10. Obviously there's more to it than eye-catching. The first learning point is that the body needs water and a lot. Carbonated soft drinks and boiling water. The Swedes call it Silver Tea, I say, and it's very refreshing. Now one cup starts each day and two or three more follow. Also helpful are low-calorie supplements (quinine helps prevent cramps), mineral water (I especially like the carbonated versions), low-calorie ginger beer, and cold filtered tap water. Next important learning point: control your carbohydrate intake, in my case less than 0g per day. Eliminate bread, cakes, sweets, pasta, rice, cereals, cookies, sugar, fruit juice, potatoes, honey, jam, marmalade, baked beans. Reading food labels is a real revelation! Instead, increase your intake of vegetables and low-carb foods and fruits. All are especially good: broccoli, cabbage, spinach, green beans, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, peppers, tomatoes, zucchini, eggplant, rutabagas, pumpkin, celeriac, lettuce green spleen. Fruit can contain a lot of sugar, so use it in moderation. Choose rhubarb, grapefruit, raspberries, longans, strawberries, blueberries, all are fine, of course no sugar should be added, so sweet with cinnamon. Avocados are low in carbs but high in fat, so you should eat no more than half a fruit a day. Add nuts and seeds to your diet, again in small amounts. As far as alcohol is concerned, all beers are out. One or two glasses of red wine a day is acceptable. Avoid processed foods as much as possible and definitely DO NOT eat any kind of hydrogenated fats. In my view they are a fraud of the food industry. and not for use by anyone other than the manufacturers of the processed food. Buy only genuine, unprocessed lean meat, poultry, game and fish. Reduce saturated fat by cooking on the griddle and cutting off excess fat. Cook with olives and nut oils because these unsaturated fats are good for you. Never use lard. Add the game to your ingredient list, as well as a wide variety of fatty and white fish such as salmon, cod, tuna, swordfish, mackerel and kipper. I have never felt hungry with the change in my eating habits to simple foods. I always find that I miss eating yogurt, vanilla ice cream, and various cheeses. But every now and then, I give myself a little treat - as long as I stay within my limits. Good results for my health: My good cholesterol is high My bad cholesterol is low My type II blood sugar is well controlled with food alone I have lost 10 pounds of weight. My next mission is to lose another 30 pounds. Now I know it is doable. The more pounds I lose, the more I can increase my activity levels - and the more motivated I am to control my calorie intake. Finally, I feel like I'm taking control of my body again and discovering that you really are what you eat! Read the full article

[saintshorter]

punishment & reward - 1k

“You’re nothing,” one of the boys spits, “but a dog.” And then his fist connects with the apple of Otabek’s cheek.

In a perverted part of his mind – the same one that reminds him he’ll never amount to anything – Otabek knows it as truth. Detroit has a surplus of stray dogs. He watches them, sometimes, as they haunt the dirty urban backstreets possessed by ghosts of their hunger. Thin tongues loll out of their decaying mouths to either pant away the black tar heat or lick their paws swollen from infection and fighting.

One dog in particular stands out in Otabek’s mind. She was a lab of some mix, straw fur matted and falling out near joins. The skin over her ribs and pelvis would sway back and forth every time she moved, like a tablecloth manipulated by a master magician. But there was no magic, no overzealous reveal. Only the odd crook of her tail, and the axis she leaned on whenever she tried to stand.

One time, after the rink closed early, Otabek observed her from a distance. She dug through rotten waste bags and litter. And when she accidentally overturned an empty trashcan, the clang of metal had her pressing her shallow belly flat to the alley floor in submission, ears flat and terror trembling through her stilt legs.

Covered in mud and sticky food wrappers; the textbook definition of pitiful.

That’s him now, only worse. He cowers in the locker room while jealous children take their frustrations out on him, and he doesn’t fight back. It wouldn’t even be that hard, he thinks, to try and block the blows, to yell for a coach.

It wouldn’t even be that hard.

He doesn’t do it.

.

You have one new voicemail.

It’s an hour past curfew when Otabek gets back to his room, but unlike the hostel in Russia, these Americans don’t seem to care what time he drags himself back to the dorm.

The space is indigo with the night; on the edge of his periphery, his broken digital clock blinks angrily, frozen at 00:00.

He limps over to the little kitchenette nestled in the far corner of his limited dorm space. There’s a cabinet that he keeps his hot plate in, a sink, a mini fridge, and an oven that stuttered black smoke the one time he tried to heat up bread.

Otabek flips a light switch. The ghastly fluorescent tube above his sink stutters on, humming a steady static noise he’s long since gotten used to. It casts a ghostly glow upon everything. His skin is bleached anemic with it, a beautiful, violent contrast to the scarlet flesh torn up at the heels of his hands. A new drop of blood wells up in one of the fresh scrapes, and a pale star twinkles false hope back at him.

He turns on the faucet with his left elbow. Though he braces himself, it still stings when cold water spills over his fingers and scatters the blood and stray bits of asphalt. He is careful not to agitate the abrasions as he dries off; they aren’t too bad, so he lets them be.

He takes stock of his injuries. His knees need cleaning, but the real loss is the holes in his joggers. His jaw is banged up – will likely bloom colorful bruises tomorrow – but it isn’t broken. Tongue slightly swollen. Lips split.

His ribs, though. Otabek should see a doctor, get them x-rayed, but. There’s no way he could do that without his parents finding out, and even the notion of them discovering how he’s let them down and allowed these punks to bully him has shame flaring up hotter than the pain.

He exhales, and it’s like digging daggers into either side of his torso.

.

He’s sitting on his bed with an ice pack around his middle when he presses play.

“Hello Otabek, my treasure.” Even through his cellphone’s speakers, his mother’s voice imparts more warmth than a crackling hearth fire. “You didn’t pick up, so we assumed you’re still at the rink. You’ve never missed a scheduled call before, so when you get this, send us a text to let us know that you’re okay.”

The ice pack crinkles as Otabek shifts.

“We’re so proud of you, but don’t overwork yourself! Getting hurt is no good, right?”

“Leave the boy alone,” his father says, coming out tinny and distant. “He’s got enough on his plate without you nagging him.”

Otabek rolls his eyes; he’d bet his competition skates that his mother had done the same.

“Hi Beka!” It’s Ershat, now, yelling over the receiver. Otabek can picture his little brother’s chubby eight-year-old face, greasy with the porridge he eats every day for breakfast. “Alia hogged all the hot water this morning for her bath-”

“-Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not! And you’re hogging the phone!” His little sister whines.

“Children!” His mother scolds.

“How long do these voice messages last?” His father asks.

“Oh, not long enough. Children! Say goodbye to your brother before you get ready for school!”

When the entire Altin clan choruses goodbye, a tight mass twists in the center of Otabek’s chest. He hits replay, and the feeling claws up his throat to bob alongside his Adam’s apple. On the fourth listen, the boy knuckles his teeth and bites down, breathing ragged in the confined space.

He’s a failure. It’s so stupid. He’s so stupid, and sad, and pathetic for trying again and again when everything is too hard.

But listening to his family, his younger siblings cheer him on is unbearable.

“I, I want to quit,” Otabek sobs into his fists.

“Hello Otabek, my treasure,” his mother says again, and every part of him throbs in a single, choreographed ache.

“Mama, it’s not fair!” he wails to an empty room. “I want to go home!”

He’s like a little lost lamb, bleating to his parents for rescue. But he can’t go back, not yet. Not like this.

Otabek promised them a medal. Alia, Ershat, baby Aimira born last year in the midst of competition season - all of them expect a triumphant return. Head held high, their brother is to come home victorious.

Otabek inhales unsteadily, and thumbs open his texting app. He wants to curse the boys who humiliated him, curse the stray dogs he cannot help but compare himself to, and curse himself for his own weakness, but. It’s not the sort of thing you tell your mother about.

‘Sorry, I stayed late.’

He pauses. The weight of the day is crushing in its unforgiving intensity, but he has enough strength to send one more text.

‘I’m okay, though.’

[simmos-blog]

Farewell (for now) to the Dales

Sunday 23rd May 2021

If the Dalesman produced the best breakfast on the walk The County Hotel Kendal easily takes the prize for the worst. The porridge was lukewarm gloop and the scrambled egg looked like chopped up boiled eggs. They had no brown bread!! Still the staff were friendly and my room pretty good so it’s not all bad.

I couldn’t be bothered to wait for the train so splashed out £7on a cab. He dropped me in the centre of Burneside and I was on the trail by 9.50. I was taking it steady as this was my last day and I wanted to enjoy it. I walked for ages alongside the beautiful river Kent which hurried along at quite a pace. There was a beautiful black and white bird with a long tail which was hoping along from plant to plant but flew off when I tried to get a picture. I needed Dave to tell me what it was.

I sailed on through Bowston to Cowan Head which looked like an old mill tastefully converted to apartments. There was no one about and I enjoyed the solitude and the noise of the river.

My cab driver had warned it was going to be wet so I had put on my full wet gear which had obviously chased the rain away. In the day I had two brief showers and perhaps 30mins of drizzle so all the wet gear was a bit of overkill but it did keep me warm.

I walked along road through a farm which was up and down. The last section was 15mins of stiff climbing and I was puffing my way up but stopped to admire the view. I then realised an oldish guy had been sneaking up behind me and was clearly planning to beat me to the top. This obviously meant a change of pace for me and I powered up without looking back. I stopped at the top and was pleased to see he had fallen well behind so I rewarded myself with a brief stop and chocolate bar. I chatted to him briefly he was on his way to the pub but had some miles to go. Whilst sitting eating my bar I was passed by the couple from yesterday who were moving at a good pace.

I had a further cow encounter in a yard full of cows and calves. One cow was stood in the middle of the path with limited room either side. It meant a bit of a tight shuffle past but she never blinked an eyelid and I didn’t hang around once in the clear.

I met a young couple who were lost and with the help of my map and GPS got them back on track. Unfortunately it took me slightly off track and I made a too sudden stop to look at a sign post and came crashing to the floor as my feet slipped from under me. It was quite a bump but the pack took the brunt of it so no damage to me. The young couple never saw it so no damage to my ego either. I did however get covered in mud with a bit of sheep shit thrown in.

Just before the finish (it was 10 miles exactly today) I met the couple who passed me earlier who were chatting to two girls from Huddersfield. I pushed on to the finishing bench and took the usual photos with the Huddersfield girls just a minute behind. I think we were probably the only five people finishing the Dalesway that day. It was then down into Bowness where John and Jane were kindly waiting to take me home. Jane had prepared a lasagne for me which got the best meal of the trip award.

I’ve enjoyed the Dalesway (I walked a total of 90.4 miles ) some of the weather has been challenging but it’s not been all bad. The scenery is amazing and the riverside walking is lovely. I’ve really enjoyed the company of those who walked with me, you have made the trip so much more enjoyable. A couple of the days were a bit long and for future walks I plan to keep every day below 15miles. On the whole the accommodation has been good and I’m not looking forward to the weigh in when I get home as I suspect I’ll be a few pounds heavier.

Thanks to those who’ve followed my blog.

[0225pm]

undefined

hello!

ok idk if i should actually like create a separate blog for personal posts since this blog is mainly for han’s viewing pleasure but then again, its such a hassle to keep up with another blog so i thought ah wtheck, i’m just post everything here la hahaha whenever i feel like writing something. 

so yesterday, i didn’t have much plans for the day so i was basically free the whole friday. dayah at the last minute asked me out to accompany her collect some speaker thing for one of her event jobs for the upcoming month and since i have nothing to do at home and would much rather be out walking and burning calories (i’ll talk about this part later) i thought, ok sure why not.

so i took a quick shower, got dressed and did some light makeup. yes, your girl still isn’t confident enough to go anywhere far without at least putting on some foundation to cover them nasty scars haha but ok so i prepped and shit and met her at the bus stop. we were gonna head to aljunied and she suggested taking the bus to bedok so i said are you sure? cus i think it’s much nearer if we take towards eunos. but since the bus was already right in front of us we ended up just boarding it to bedok anyway.

so upon reaching bedok mrt station, i looked at the map and pointed out to her that it was really much nearer if we actually took the train from eunos (it was about 2 stops if i’m not wrong) but ah well, the rice has become porridge HAHAHHAAH. ok then we went to aljunied, and towards this ulu office area. i’ve actually been there with her before once, so this was my 2nd time and i guess i’m quite familiar with the area already la hahaha. i never follow blindly ok. 

i had to wait for quite some for her to be done cus the person was explaining something to her. it was kinda awkward standing there but the people going in and out of the tiny office space didn’t really seem to mind so that was good, i guess. i was also perspiring a little in the office wtf. it didn’t even feel like there was any aircon at all. but i wasn’t complaining about it la cus if i were to wait and stand outside it’s gonna be even hotter. the weather is really shitty wtf.

initially the plan was collect speaker > go see doctor > she goes to the bazaar with her classmates while i go home. cus like i said, i just wanted to get out of the house and walk so i was fine with going home early since i at least already get to walk a bit for the day. but unfortunately, the doctor didn’t have an afternoon session for fridays so she ended up cancelling on her class outing and then she suggested ok why not we go to the bazaar after seeing the doctor? so i said sure i’m cool. cus i haven’t been to the bazaar yet and since it was past the break fast timing, i thought ah pretty sure it’s not gonna be that crowded la hahahahaha (i was wrong lmao)

it was so fucking crowded but tbh, wasn’t as bad as last year. and i tried to be at peace with myself cus apparently when you’re peaceful you won’t really feel the heat but lol it was hard trying to brainwash yourself especially while standing in front of strong lighting that’s emitting heat haha but ok la both of us survived the heat and i didn’t complained a lot about perspiring so yay achievement? :-) 

before we left, we got the bucket of meatballs and fries to share and then she went to get some keropok lekor for her family. i also bought like 2 sticks of cheese hotdogs along the way home.

oh and as i was saying, i’m burning calories cus i’m trying to lose some weight. in fact, i’m on some sort of stupid irregular diet regimen right now. i say irregular cus i don’t stick to the right timings to eat lmao hahaha. also the main reason why i’m on this stupid unhealthy way of dieting is because i need to lose as much weight and physical body fat as much as possible within 2 weeks to fit into my dress. i bought a dress off asos and i thought ah, i think i’m a uk14. i usually wear uk14-16 for clothing on asos and i thought to myself i think this dress will definitely be able to fit me just fine since it looks loose fitting but lol my package arrived and i tried on the dress but i couldn’t zip it up 100% lmao it was too tight and i think the moment i sit down it’ll probably burst or something sigh. i have such a broad back :( i think it’s mainly bc the dress isn’t made of the usual jersey material that’s slight stretchable so i overestimated my own size lmao hahahah anyway it sucks to be me right now cus i’m trying not to consume too much carbs. tbh, i’m trying to stick to a 700-800 calories diet per day which is like one meal per day? but it’s really unhealthy and i don’t want to go back to the old me eating sweet potatoes for a week to the point where i felt really weak and lethargic. my skin was yellow and pale and i look so sickly wtf. my hair was also falling out more than usual. and i really really really don’t wanna go back on that route so i’m trying out this stupid diet i found that apparently IU did for 3 days. except mine is gonna have to last for 2 weeks which is why i tweak the food she consumed a little.

she has an apple for breakfast, 1 sweet potato for lunch and 1 protein shake for dinner.

but since i’m not gonna be doing this for only 3 days i cannot go into starvation mode so quickly or else my body is gonna go crazy (been there done that - rmbr the sweet potato diet? hahaha i did lose like 2 inches off my waist though doing that diet).

so what i do is:

i still have 1 apple per day. lunch or the “main” meal of the day will be something that has some carbs but not rice or noodles to sub the sweet potato (my sweet potatoes has gone rotten and i haven’t went out to buy any new ones). if i really want rice or noodles or bread, max is 2 mouthfuls. dinner would be protein milk+whey or chocolate soymilk to make up for the lack of glucose (yes hahha i need some glucose to sustain me)

if not then i’ll switch them up, like maybe protein based food for lunch like chicken and fish and then dinner would be soymilk.

basically limiting my intake of sugar and carbs la hahahaha fuck its only the 2nd day and i want to die. 

[bardic-tales]

Hi! Happy WBW!

Tell me about daily life in your world! Is it different depending on job/role/social class?

--Joy (@italiangothicwriteblr)

Happy WBW, Joy! Thank you for the wonderful question. I hope you are having a great day.

My WIPs are Cold as Ice (CAI), Flight of the Dragon (FOTD), and Pale Fire (PF). As CAI and PF happen at the same time, I'll answer those together.

As the majority of my WIP focus on the Olessan region, I will be focusing on that Empire. Depending on the WIP, there is at least one other region mentioned.

Overall

The daily life for people living in poverty is not pleasant. Cities do not have hot water, and sewers were just being implemented in the capital city of the Olessan Empire by the time of CAI. It wasn't unheard of for a midden heap to be found in the slums in all major cities.

Flight of the Dragon

Life was harsh during FotD. There was a limited diet and very little comfort. Women were subordinate to men, in the lower and the middle class. Regardless of the class that children were born into, they had about a 50% survival rate beyond age one.

Every region of Olessa is govern differently. Some regions, such as the Seralia region where the main character Brennan rules, began to construct castles in response to the disorder. This provided protection from invaders and rival lords. The Gloreydine invasions would contribute to the development of towns.

Lower class

Life was different based upon class and where they worked. People that lived on a manor by the castle were assigned strips of land to plant and harvest. They worked cooperatively on tasks such as plowing and haying. The lower class was also expected to build roads, clear forests, and work on other tasks that was determined by the warlord. They did not own any land.

Some lower class would even have the livestock reside in the home.

These houses were of poor quality compared to the middle class. However, comfort was not always found even in the richest homes. Heating was always a problem with stone floors, ceilings, and walls. Not much light would come through the small windows, and fat-burned candles produced a pungent odor.

Furniture would consist of wooden benches, long tables, cupboards, and pantries. Beds, little more than a pile of straw or hay would be full of bedbugs, lice, and other biting insects.

The lower class would often eat warm porridges. They rarely ate meat, and when they did, it would be from their own animals.

Middle Class

Brennan's knights were middle class. This class consisted of the knights and their families. They each owned a section of land. These people would perform military service for Brennan, but they would not perform any menial tasks like the lower class.

What and how the Middle Class ate depended on a diet and fastening schedule. Meat would only be allowed three times a week, while meals were eaten twice a day. These meals would consist of fruits and breads. Silence was the norm during meals.

Meat would be hunted from the Lord's surrounding forests.

Fancy dress, outside of furs in the winter, were forbidden.

The nights were warriors, but they were also monks who were allowed to marry. They were expected to rise at 4am for a service before returning to sleep until 6 am. They would also be expected to train and attend three more services throughout the day, as well as their other meals. One of the meals would have a priest read aloud from one of the many tomes about the god of love.

Cold as Ice & Pale Fire

In both regions, orphans would roam the streets of the slum districts. Each region had orphanages, but the people have been known to abuse the children. Because they didn't attend any schools, they had little chance of improving their situation.

The survival rate of a child is still low as they were often malnourished, dirty, and had limited supply of good food and water.

The Glorendt Kingdom.

By the time of CAI and PF, an industrial revolution began to transform life in the Glorendt kingdom. Until then, most people lived in the countryside, and during Flight of the Dragon, people from this region pillaged and raided the Olessan region.

Most people in Glorendt lived in towns and made their living from manufacturing industries. The cities and towns would be noisy and very dirty. The classes were a mixed of Government, Trading Guilds featuring merchants, and peasants.

Owning land was the main form of wealth. Political power and influence were in the hands of the landowners. In Glyndon, judges and magistrates had only begun overseeing laws.

Schools were not required by law, but many upper-class boys and girls would attend schools. Girls were educated in skills such as embroidery and music than in academic subjects. There were also charity schools for lower-class children.

Poor people ate diets that were made up of bread and potatoes. Like its neighboring empire, meat was an uncommon luxury for Glorendines. Regardless of class, many people begun to drink tea.

The rich would build great country houses and employ gardeners to create beautiful gardens. The wealthy owned comfortable furniture and exquisite clocks. The poor had none of these. They would live in two or three rooms. Their furniture would be simple and plain.

Men in the Glorendt would wear breeches and stockings. They also wore waistcoats, and linen shirts. Women would wear stays and hooped petticoats beneath their dresses. They did not wear knickers.

The Olessan Empire

When Brennan Draig unified all of Olessa, he became its king. His people would call him the Dragon King. There are now eight regions: Avis, Lucci, Norven, Olessa Major, Olessa Minor, Olessa Providence, Spacci, Surven.

Daily life throughout the Olessan Empire was different based upon the social classes. There were five social classes: Peasants, Workers, Merchants, Nobles, and Rulers.

The nobles lived on large estates in the region they oversaw and on the Summas Hill within the capital. Each estate is divided by canals. Nobility had a variety of fashion made from different materials, such as furs and silks while peasants had only one or two sets of clothing.

Food was not equally distributed to every person. A person’s place in society still determined what type of food that they ate. An average peasant could eat soup or mush. The peasants still lacked meat as it was expensive and not widely available.

Weathy people would have huge feasts with roasts of beef, stag, or ham. They did not drink much water, but they would have wine with every meal. They would also attend operas.

In regard to education, fathers were allowed a choice with education for their daughters. They could be sent to a finishing school (an option in the southern portion of the Olessan Empire) or become a lady-in-waiting for a noblewoman.

Societies had to be really rich to support artists, elaborate building projects, and industrial powerhouses.

[froghwon]

Nobody Else WOULD be too powerful. If they did start a new storyline, what story would you like to see?!

Listen, the table is literally center stage it has to look good 😂 if it’s that close to the performers and will be in every photo, it👏🏼has👏🏼to👏🏼look👏🏼good👏🏼😂

I also see nunu in you 😌 like you know when to give support. But Kihyun being your enemy? I feel you. I won’t hesitate to whoop his butt if he ever tried to challenge me in something. (LOL I had a scenario of him being that classmate where he debates with you every chance he gets to get the upper hand in front of the class but he secretly likes you because you are a strong person who doesn’t back out of a challenge. Watch out college au, I’ll get to you someday 😂)

I had to do a rain check on the hike, I haven’t been feeling well and it’s not fair to get anyone sick 😔 today i couldn’t taste anything and panicked but my mom thinks I could just be having a seasonal cold 🤞🏼stay warm, drink water, get rest!

I never had fisherman’s soup, mostly because my mom ignorantly forbids it without even trying it 🙄 (she’s so plain, I gag whenever I place food orders for her. Her go to sandwich at subway is the cold cut sandwich with JUST mayo and little bit of pickles on UNTOASTED WHITE BREAD. And I’m like mom....you are untoasted white bread. Thank goodness I got my taste from my dad 😂) are there any food your parents like that drive you crazy?

Yum prime rib!!!! How do you prepare it (like what’s your routine that you would do for it)? I’m glad you are taking precautions and keeping family safe 😌 I hope your family stays warm and healthy.

Christmas lights can be such a nice time if there isn’t so many people around 😂 i love walking through neighborhoods looking at lights but if it’s a popular neighborhood then ALL the people gravitate to there and it’s like 👀 please stay away from me (if you haven’t noticed, the pandemic really made me enjoy my little bubble 😂 nasty people everywhere)

Ooo fun question, naturally people ask what are your favorite Christmas movies but I want to know your least favorite! What are some Xmas movies that you thought were awful? Any popular movies that you don’t like? I’m all ears!

That would be a top notch road trip👌🏼 and yes pen pals would be the cutest thing 🥺

Top 5 idols you would trust book recommendations from?

Top 5 idols you would trust movie recommendations from 😂?

Top 3 idols you would visit an animal shelter with 😌(a day full of playing with doggies and kitties)?

-mbb secret santa who is not excited to share their present for you 😘🌹

true that!! hmm idk but it’d interesting to have kyun as the main character for an mv, he always worked hard on acting for the mxray kdrama parodies, so i know he’d do well :D

LMAO thats exactly what i imagine!! kihyun is the male lead for my enemies to lovers trope, we’re still in the enemies phase :P

awww thats too bad 🥺🥺🥺 i wish u a quick recovery!!! get lots of rest and eat well <33

ohhh noooooo, ur mom’s a bland white? my condolences 😂😂 her subway order sounds whack ksdncjkdnf tbh im not really picky with food, but i dont like bland food, like rice porridge, which my parents love :P it may also be a texture thing bc i love white rice, just not as porridge lol

ty bub!! i hope ur family has a happy and healthy holiday season 💞💞💞 i slather the meat with butter and herbs and roast it in the oven for a few hours :D its really simple, the most time consuming part is the roasting hehe

haha thats valid!! whenever i see people when im going for a walk around the neighborhood im the same way, like “get away from me plague rat!!!”

hmmm tbh there arent really any xmas movies i dont like 🤔🤔 oh i dont think home alone 4 was anything special lol a classic movie like that doesnt need sequels :P how about you?

skdnjckjdnsf none of these binches have time to read 😂😂 but if i had to pick, i’ll say: taeyeon, tiffany, jessica for non-fiction, and shownu and kihyun for nerd books :P

idols for movie recs (not bc i think they have good taste, but that they would give me interesting recs): hyungwon, changkyun, minghao, joshua, and scoups :)

idols to go to an animal shelter with (omg that would be so cute 🥺🥺🥺): jooheon, changkyun, and dk bc i think they would be the most cute 🥺

phew that was a lot of writing >.< how do u get all that text in 1 ask??? theres a word limit???

but ahhh i cant believe its christmas tomorrow!!! im so excited to find out who u are!!!! AND you have a gift?? for ME???? 😭😭😭 now im REALLY excited for christmas!!!!! and if u really are minhyuk, im deleting <3

[positibofit]

Full speed forward

Wow, two intense weeks. I wanted to post a new entry last week, but I could not find any rest time to sit down and write to be truly honest.

It’s been intense. But in a positive way. I know it sounds odd. I am still on my pilates instructor journey and trying to watch at least 5 to 10 videos of the instructor course. Last weekend we had an amazing master class kick-off Zoom-Meeting. We got to know fabulous and ambitious people. It was a great get-together and workout-together. Another way to find motivation is knowing other people are choosing the journey. Everyone with their own struggles and progress. But still in the same boat to reach the goal and to push each other. Oh I am loving the spirit.

Full-time work will be rough before vacation starts, but after that, I will focus 100% on my workouts. I already started to put more intensity into each training. Adding weights and adding reps. And oh boy, I can feel my body and every muscle, and hell yeah I am closer to my goal in gaining the abs.

So looking back on my general fitness journey so far, I must say I am on track and definitely happy with my goals I set. I am not even thinking about my new goals, since I realised, I lose motivation, when having to many goals. So I will stick to my split-goals, which are definitely not perfect yet and to my body-toning goal with main focus on the abs. And this will take a couple more month here. But that is fine for me. 

How did I set my goals?

It all started with the typical new year resolution. What should be my goal for the year? And so I decided, hey what about being able to do the splits again. And so it all started. And after a couple month I already reached the goal and stick to it. But I did not wait for the year to end to find a new goal. I literally decided right after it to become a more defined body. Hey I never saw any abs on my body ever. Am I even able to gain abs? Let’s do it then. And not even half a year later, I am so proud to see that I cannot only gain the bizeps and the tights. I do gain abs. They are still shy, but I will not lose track on here, since I put a lot of work and sweat into it.

Oh Merry Christmas

So Christmas holidays are coming closer. And we all know that this means food, a lot of food. And I think we should enjoy every moment of it. I quit any hard diets long time ago. I eat what I want and what my body is craving for. Of course you should not eat a bunch of chocolate bars. But I quit going on a low carb diet, or keto diet or any other diet. The only thing I am doing and really watching out what I am eating is during the week while doing workouts. But on weekends... hell I will eat a Pizza and ice-cream for dessert. And this is how I feel comfortable with, how I found the balance in working out, pushing yourself to the limits but enjoying everything else to the fullest. Of course, I would be lying if I say I am ignoring any nutrition facts. Of course you need to look for your calorie income and you should think twice if you like to take drinks now or stick to your water. Bodies are not the same and for me my body is craving for a porridge bowl with peanutbutter and fruits instead of  white bread and meat in the morning. To give you an example.

But it is still a long journey and I am still motivated and ready and I am looking forward to the first finish line. 

[supercalvin]

Merlin- 6, 14, 22

Headcanon Meme: Send me a Number and a Character

6. Eating habits and sampledaily menu

Merlin’s what you would call a ‘grazer.’ He eats when the opportunities arises,and rarely in large amounts. So he doesn’t usually have meals, but small snacksthroughout the day. But here’s a basic menu.

Breakfast: None. Maybe a handful of dried berries/nuts on his run toArthur’s chambers. At most, a bowl of porridge from Gaius, but this is avoidedat all costs. On special days when Arthur has a large breakfast, Arthur will usuallytell Merlin to stop eyeing the food and sit down to eat with him.

Lunch: If he’s in the citadel, then he usually takes lunch with theservants in the kitchens. Depends on the day and if cook is feeling generous,but the menu could include warm bread, dumplings, and slices of cheese. If he’sout with Arthur, like on a hunt, then it’s usually rations like cured meat and berriesthey find along the way. It’s usually very light, and sometimes he forgets toeat lunch altogether especially if there’s a crisis at hand.

Dinner: He almost always eats dinner with Arthur. Even if Arthur’s haddinner at a feast or with his father, Merlin usually eats in Arthur’s chambers.Dinner is usually a stew with potatoes and meat. Sometimes he’s lucky enough toget rabbit (his favorite) but that’s typically only when hunting with Arthur. Sincehe usually didn’t eat much during the day, the end of the day leaves him ravenous.Arthur, who rarely sees Merlin eat other than at dinner, thinks Merlin is gluttonousfor food , but in actuality Merlin just didn’t eat that much all day.

14. Physical abnormalities?(Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses,food-intolerances, etc.)

Ohman. I have a long list about Merlin’sscars, but I’m happy to elaborate. I think Merlin’s body is absolutelyriddled with scars, because he doesn’t spend 10 years protecting Arthur withouta few injuries. 1) His hands are covered in burns from potion-making and littlenicks from knives or thorns from herb collecting. 2) His wrists have rope burnsfrom where he’s been tied multiple times (including from when Morgana capturedhim). 3) He has a scar on his neck from an assassin who tried to kill him. Merlinthought the assassin was going after Arthur, but when the dagger came veryclose to slicing Merlin’s throat instead, he was lucky he moved as quickly ashe did.  4) He’s pushed himself to thelimit on more than one occasion. He’s learned to work past the pain, because hedoesn’t have time to heal when there are lives on the line. Most of injuriesare from overworking a mild injury into a major injury.

Asfor food intolerances, Merlin’s learned not to be a picky eater. It’s hard whenyou lived in a village where you didn’t know when your next meal would come.But he has a lot of food allergies that he’s learned to live with. He’s lactoseintolerant, so he avoids cheese and milk, and he has an allergy to tomatoes andno I’m not just taking Colin Morgan’s allergy list what are you talking about.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do,what would happen?

Here’s the thing. Merlin never has timeto do nothing. (See the “Do you think I sit around doing nothing all day!?” scene.)So I think if he’s sitting around in Gaius’ workshop with a spare moment and apencil/paper in front of him, he would probably work. That sounds so boring,but I think he would flip through his spellbook or one of Gaius’ healing books andwrite down any potion/spell that he thinks might be useful in the future. He’lltake the time to jot down notes, write in page corners a list of better ingredientsor instructions. If given a spare moment, he’s going to prepare for when hedoesn’t have the time. Because when Camelot’s at stake and he has to find a solutionquickly, that spare afternoon when he wrote down ‘how to fix a pixieinfestation’ will really come in handy.