#and i felt really judged

[suck-mein-pokeballs]

Due to some medical issues I've been poked and prodded a lot lately and I'm slowly but surely collecting a suspicious amount of needle marks on my left arm and now I'm feeling really self conscious cause most of the people I'm really close with are aware that I have a history of addiction and now I feel like if I don't explain myself my friends are gonna assume I have track marks

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[anothersuperstition]

like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….

a few recent commissions ⬇️

been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!

[sparky-is-spiders]

Thinking about Jon mourning his relationship with Elias and doing it alone.

Thinking about Jon having so many little fond memories of Elias. Discussions with him when he still worked in research. Little bickering arguments from when Jon was first promoted. His fondness for scheduling. Thinking about Jon missing those times so much that it aches. Thinking about Jon mourning the person he thought he knew, the person he did know, the connection they always had. When Elias is in prison and won't even see him. When Elias is in the panopticon above the world, far away from Jon. Thinking about Jon still caring about Elias, missing him despite everything.

Jon would have all those little memories of Elias, I think. And he would pick over them, and wonder which ones were real (all of them, in a way), and which ones were lies (all of them, in a way). And he would never be able to say anything. Because he's the only one who ever had that connection to Elias, and by the time Elias is out of Jon's reach nobody who would understand is left.

Just. Just thinking of Jon mourning his relationship with Elias, and having to do it alone.

[oneraintorulethemall]

I've been brainstorming a LOTR marathon party with meals... here's the food and drink I've spotted so far that I'm keeping in mind (time stamps included):

0:09- Pastries (Hobbits’ only real compassion is for food).

0:17-0:19- Tea, cheese, jam, sponge cake, and…. I can make you some eggs if you’d like!

0:20 A night to remember, a cake to remember!

0:45- If I take one more step….. I’ll be the furthest from hungry I’ve ever been. (First breakfast?)

0:52-0:53 Carrots, cabbages, potatoes, and a shortcut to mushrooms.

1:00 IT COMES IN PINTS?

1:06 Second breakfast.

1:11 Nice, crispy bacon. (I saved you some!)

1:23 No food, just the best part of the movie.

1:50 Second and a half breakfast.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Outdrawn

f/f contemporary romance

two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at

they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families

[sotangledupinit]

i’m obsessed your honor

[six-of-ravens]

mood right now is "this weekend i must Fix Myself. how? no idea, but i have to figure it out"

[skeletood]

Doing cool roller skating tricks to pick up on chicks was not as easy as they’d hoped.

Most important part under read more:

[adaptations-polls]

Which version of this do you prefer?

[reiashiftsrealities]

i watched I Saw The TV Glow and now i’m debating my gender very terribly hard rn

[e77y]

We did it Joe (OCD diagnosis)

[syrenki]

post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.

[br1ghtestlight]

i would genuinely consider committing myself to the psych ward except i have an appointment with an eye specialist tomorrow that i have waited ALMOST A YEAR for and if i missed that bcuz i was having a gay ass mental breakdown i would never forgive myself. it is funny though i had the worst most mentally ill dreams u can imagine Fully just screaming sobbing mental breakdowns in my dreams for 12 hours straight

[bleue-flora]

...Q running in an election, which he was completely allowed to do, during which he played 100% by Wilbur's rules and won fairly according to said rules, means that getting abused by his boss was his own fault?

Yeah your views are definitely scuffed. You don't have to sympathize with a character you don't like but holy shit

Perhaps fault isn’t the right word. Just to clarify, I didn’t mean it was his fault for being abused, not saying anyone deserves that. So, I didn’t mean like he asked for it or like it is karma or comeuppance for running in the election. And by no means am I saying he was wrong to do so in the first place and whether or not he followed c!Wilbur’s rules is irrelevant. So perhaps comparing that with exile is unfair to c!Quackity, after all c!Tommy did provoke Dream and there’s not necessarily evidence for c!Quackity provoking c!Schlatt into that behavior. But at the end of the day, it is a result of his own actions. It is a consequence of his own actions whether or not it was intended or deserved. He chose to side with c!Schlatt so he could win even though it’s not like c!Schlatt was necessarily hiding his true colors, and he chose to stay. Did he know he was going to be abused, did he chose to be abused, did he deserve being abused. No. Of course not. But it happened because of the choices he made and he could’ve always made different choices to escape that. Actions just have consequences whether good or bad, you pay them or someone else does, whether intentional or not. - I forget an umbrella and I get wet and I get the floor wet and then someone slips on the wet floor and falls - I made a choice or perhaps a series of choices whether to put my umbrella by the door or make sure to dry my shoes off… etc. did I know that was going to happen? Did I intend for that? Did I or the person who fell deserve that? No, I made choices and those were the consequences that happened as a result so one could say it is my fault even if it’s not only my fault and even if it’s not like I intentionally meant for that to happen.

So obviously c!Quackity didn’t deserve to be abused, nor choose it, nor mean for it to happen, nor make it happen, nor is his hurt invalid. But c!Schlatt had a bad reputation to start off with, I mean one of the first things he does is betray c!Wilbur and c!Tommy in the first place. So all I’m saying is c!Quackity chose to ally himself with the devil and the devil lived up to his name.

(And I know I said you can call me cold, but that is kinda accusatory. c!Quackity isn’t a real person, these do not reflect my view irl, this is my view on a sadistic, manipulative, fictional character who lives in a world where people stab, kill, insult, harass for a fun afternoon.)

[lord-squiggletits]

This might be bc of my personal reading of exRDI/OP bc I'm pretty sure the authorial intent was to just write Optimus as having some fall from grace/borderline tyrannical edge but like

I really kinda wish the story had been written as more of a political intrigue, almost GOT-esque thing (sorry for the cliche) where like, instead of Optimus being written as the narrative's scapegoat to be condemned both by the characters in universe and the meta narrative, he was just written as...morally gray? With more of a focus on "this is a shitty situation where no decision is good" rather than having Optimus just be some sort of white guilt stand-in of how oh, he's a Prime so that means the most important part of his legacy is how Cybertronians are awful and he's no better than the other ones etc.

Like Barber doesn't write Optimus as EVIL or in a way where he's unilaterally condemned as a person who did more harm than good, it's just imo the vibes of the story is more of a dark political/war story where no person is clean and there's no solution to the war that doesn't involve moral compromise. Instead Optimus is forced to make these moral compromises but then everyone else in the story loses their absolute shit and immediately starts calling him a tyrant or a fascist or something.

Like idk, it was partially an issue of the set-up. Because for one, it was really hard to take it seriously when the humans went "omg he's annexing Earth the Autobots were literally the colonizers all along!" (I think the dialogue was written almost exactly like that too sjdjsidn, so bad dialogue was also another issue) yet were perfectly fine working with the Decepticons led by 1. Soundwave who personally helped execute the attempted invasion of Earth and 2. Galvatron who constantly talks about wanting to kill these puny organics. I feel like I would've been able to take humanity's fears of being colonized again more seriously if like, they hadn't literally teamed up with The Colonizer Faction just bc Soundwave promised they were good guys again. So really it's just execution + plot holes + bad dialogue.

And another thing about the annexing of Earth specifically that I wish got talked about more (mostly by the fandom more than in universe) is that like. Basically the reason Optimus did that was because the neo-Decepticons were planning to invade Earth again, but since he's not actually a formal political leader any more he has no power to actually force a war to stop them/request military back up. But also, Starscream didn't give a shit about Earth and neither did the Council of Worlds, so appealing to the government for help defending humanity wouldn't work either. So Optimus annexing Earth was an absolute clusterfuck yes, but in a way it was also kind of a shrewd political move to force Cybertron to dedicate a spot in the government for humans and thus grant humans a say on Cybertronian politics.

What I mean is that in a story/with an author like that of GOT, where the setting is grimmer and every character is morally ambiguous, I feel like Optimus would've had way more room to be an interesting and compelling character. Bc then instead of the story immediately screaming "ALL HAIL OPTIMUS DID YOU KNOW OP ANNEXING EARTH TO THE COUNCIL IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS MEGATRON ATTEMPTING TO GENOCIDE EARTH," Optimus could have been played around with more as a political figure making the shitty decisions in an effort to stop another genocide. Instead of just unilaterally condemning Optimus and immediately comparing him to fucking Megatron of all people, there could've been more focus on the politics of it with maybe some sort of theme of how "being a leader in war is an inherently unethical position where every decision you make will lead to death/conflict/hate."

Like idk I just think it would've been more interesting if the narrative spent less time going "zomg Optimus is totally a tyrant now" and instead went all in on exploring the political conflicts and how far politicians (Optimus now being one, since he's declaring wars and forcefully acting as an ambassador that no one asked for) can go on manipulation and forcing people's hands for the sake of an ultimately good cause. I mean, Windblade was doing shit like covering up for Chromia who killed people in a bombing, making backdoor deals with Starscream, and conspiring with Optimus to bypass Starscream/overthrow him as Cybertron's ruler somehow. The difference of course is that Windblade and exRID were written by two different authors with genre/thematic differences, but as a reader it is really disappointing to see two different political narratives where "a hero turned politician turning to morally gray/unethical methods to outmaneuver a deadly opponent" is treated as clever and heroic for one character, but tyrannical and worthy of ostracization of another character.

Like for God's sake this narrative where Optimus gets lambasted at every turn sometimes by people who work with/are literal tyrants/terrorists themselves is so fucking exhausting. I'd rather read a story that focused more on the idea of, well what Optimus did was unethical but on a political level it was actually advantageous in several ways. Then you could write a story that really dives into a view of like, idk... Does power inherently corrupt or is it just situations like war that allow leaders to seize power and become tyrannical? Are politics an inherently dirty field where the only way to beat your competition (and secure a decent future for the nation) is to become underhanded and manipulative yourself? Is it okay to bypass or work against rightfully elected officials when those officials are turning a blind eye to things like war and invasions and historic racism?

ExRID did somewhat touch on these themes to be fair, but I feel like in Optimus' case they were either poorly executed or just thrown away in favor of having every other character talk shit about him and how he's the worst person ever. Bc like goddammit, I do think Optimus' polarizing and sometimes bad decisions as a character DO make him skirt on the edge of tyranny and shouldn't be downplayed, but on the other hand, I feel like no one (fandom or in-universe) ever tangles with the OTHER side of the story, which is just... Would it have been unethical for Optimus to NOT have done anything? Cybertronians literally put a colony on Earth, injected Earth with alien technology and sleeper agents, used Earth as an incubating ground for dangerous elements like Ore-13, invaded Earth and killed 1 billion people-- after all the shit Cybertron did to Earth, is it not fair (even morally obligated) for Cybertronians to clean up their shit and help Earth defend itself against a crisis that Cybertronians caused? And if Cybertron's government/the individuals within are racist enough that they don't care about Earth, don't see it as their problem, and don't even see human life as meaningful since they don't live that wrong anyways... is it not, in a way, a good thing for Optimus to have overstepped his authority and forced diplomatic relationships between the two planets? So that humans had an actual political channel to go "fuck you, we're in your Council so you'd better ally with us" and so that Cybertron would be forced to go "welp can't write off these humans as Not Our Problem, guess we have to help them." Doesn't forcing Earth to be part of the Council in a way legitimize Optimus' fight to help Earth, since without a formal political office he's just a rogue general fighting an unauthorized war, but with the government involved, defending Earth now becomes a politically sanctioned act?

Like idk. I guess exRID and OP did get into some of this stuff, but as a whole it felt like the story underutilized its political elements and got bogged down in shit like pointless crossovers, and constantly pausing the narrative to have Side Character #2847 talk about how Optimus is a fascist, and having Optimus go on white guilt-esque monologues about how maybe all Cybertronians should die and are unworthy/unable to ever have a peaceful society because their society colonized other planets.

Just so much wasted potential honestly. ExRID/OP as written felt like it was going way too hard into "omg Cybertronians bad and Optimus is actually a tyrant" instead of just writing a complex story and letting readers come to their own conclusions. And also lambasting Optimus for doing things that other characters did (or characters who did even worse things), but letting those characters exist in peace while Optimus has to just be some allegory for colonialism that has to be torn down at every turn because that's Deep and Intellectual.

I just like the kinds of stories about politics that play around with the ethics of it all, like, "this politician is a shitty person but their policies actually prevented some sort of disaster from happening" or "this person did something illegal and defied the law but they did it because no one else was doing anything" or even "everyone hates this person for forcing them into a political deal they didn't want to be involved in, but the fact that they were all forced to become allies actually allowed them to cooperate and save themselves in a way they wouldn't have been able to alone" (which is pretty much literally how the annexing of Earth ended up going).

Like man I don't want to sit here being lectured/having my favorite character be lectured about how much tyranny is bad. I want my favorite character to do shitty things and then go "whoa that was shitty...but also kind of smart...but also caused a lot of problems...but also solved some other problems that could've turned awful if he hadn't forcefully resolved them."