#and i know this wont last forever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

farlooms · 2 years

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tbh these past couple weeks have been really...peaceful. i feel a sense of levity and im a lot more calm typically. i feel really lax and free-feeling now. maybe its just because i love winter, and with things getting consistently cold here i dont have to worry about thermoregulating as much. maybe its my internship. maybe its because things at home have been....moderately normal. its still not great, and far from perfect, and i want out the second i can, but its the closest to normal its ever been. im the closest to normal ive ever been.

#kage rattles #im still not...happy /overall/#i have a lot of issues #and things still like frustrate me etc like im not completely happy 100% of the time bc no one is-#but im doing...okay. fine.#okay maybe 'normal' is not the best word for it #or for ME #but...my trauma and home life are...taking a bit of a back seat lately.#i dont feel as like. consumed by them. as i used to #and i know this wont last forever #i know some dumb shits gonna happen and probably ruin it and things will get worse at home again or something #but- for now- im choosing to enjoy this #ive noticed it in myself. periodically.#i mean...i spoke about something i /never/ speak about semi recently. it took 7 years to be able to just...mention that it happened.#without it being in the context of me having a breakdown.#its still hard. i still cant say his name.#but its...better. much much better.#gives me hope that maybe i can be okay. maybe one day i will be.#maybe...going back to school is closer than i thought. i would certainly like to #NOT like in a months time or something #but maybe sept next yr if my legal stuff is all settled??#it would be. nice :} i think i want to go back #i didnt hate school. never did.#i hate the school SYSTEM. but i like the school enviroment #and taking classes that are geared towards my interests and strengths will be good for me #senior year was really bad but that was because of home #otherwise i was typically a Fine student #go back for some general studies and get my grades up and then go into wherever fits best #thanatology/mortuary science interests me a lot and thats where i want to go most #however my lifelong interest in zoology may just prevail

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pinko-winko · 28 days

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im sorry to the new followers who want to stay for the kinitopet art

#my art #kinitopet mentioned #listen man #i know i said i wont draw kinito forever so enjoy it while it still lasts #talkies

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skunkes · 11 days

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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rapidhighway · 24 days

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i think im at the age when i should start exercising my wrists

#they never gave me any issues i can draw for hours without a problem but i know it wont last forever #:\#bro what the fuck am i even talking about #this shit was supposed to be over three years ago WHAT are we doing #fucked up #we cant get much older bro what the fuck are we going to doo

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jackklinemybeloved · 1 year

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went into this episode excited to see ylfa and the beast interact and crossing my fingers for a good elody and gerard union and came out with an existential crisis about these young nihilistic women running themselves into the ground and destroying everything because they don’t know what else to do

#part of their argument is interesting but like.#i dont think theyve had that many more 'times' than the rest of the cast?#like the vibe ive gotten is that like. cinderella and snow white have been to more but not like. a ton. like not a ton of sets of memories #like 5/6 TOPS #and they're like 'oh no theres no way to make this better and if i still exist that means my stories where i dont have free will still live'#WHAT #idk.#i find them very interesting but.#it's very weird ya know #like at this point theres no real difference between them and the stepmother #other than maybe their motivation #like obviously things have to come to an end but like. that's what the wolf is for #the way he talks i think it's clear that ALL of the worlds wont last FOREVER #and everyone has said the worlds arent limitless #like once you die you cant go back to that story #idk i still have to process this episode. a lot happened #i have a lot of thoughts about the princesses but #it was really cool and funny to see rosamund do a full fucking 180 with 'D FUCKING W'#anyway. what an ep.#neverafter #dimension 20 #neverafter spoilers

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orionsangel86 · 1 month

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Sometimes I come across posts on here and I can't help but think - this should be published in a best selling book. It makes me sad that so many people are missing out on some of the absolute best stories, best poetry, best quotes, that I've certainly ever come across.

Like its sad to think that one day all this stuff might be lost. Tumblr is filled with so much creativity. Yeah sure its also got the pineapple post and the Gringe x Tony the Tiger post up there with some of the worst things you've ever seen (in an awful yet hilarious way). But the blackout poetry, the original tumblr stories, the God of Arepo... The fact this place has its own folklore and even its own form of language, the fact that several words of the year were born here (never gonna get the suffix -ussy out of my brain thanks tumblr). The collaborative shit posts with punchlines that hit you like a ton of bricks only if you've been on this site long enough to have understood every single one of the multiple layers of meme history and tumblr in-jokes that make it work.

It's just a great place and there is nowhere else on the internet like it. So yeah. It should be immortalised in a tangible form thats all I'm saying. I just think that would be neat.

#tumblr #i love this place #im not even kidding #i genuinely think tumblr should publish its best stuff #it would have to be like a free open source thing i guess #cos no one person could claim the creative rights #and everyone involved in the featured work would need to get credit #so its not a small task #but i just want it all made tangible #so it can one day be saved #because god knows this site wont last forever

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daughterofsarenrae · 6 months

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Man we hit a good dosage for angus's meds and hes like. Acting like his old self right now. Def with the energy down like 90% but hes exploring my room and playing with toys and his back legs are holding his weight and it's so nice to see again

#unfortunately it wont last forever #but im kinda ignoring the vet rn #she set his dose to 2.5 mls but due to a mix up with the pharmacy im only giving him 1.5 rn #but it seems to be really working #and id rather hold him here so i can go up again when he starts declining again #palliative care man. his meds & vet visits r so expensive rn but. worth it to see his old self coming back a bit #even though i know it's temporary #the slowburning grief of take care of a pet with a terminal diagnosis can be interspersed with bright moments #so im just dwelling in that for now #also rip i gave up half my floorspace in my room for ango bc of the fucking ANTS that invaded his space downstairs. infuriating #tho tbh i like him up here and he does better up here so i might just keep this lmao #anyways. boy cute i love him <3 #baby: angus #the heavy stuff is mostly in the tags but ik some people r sensitive to this topic?#idk what the tags ppl use for it are tho so if u see this and want me to tag stuff about angus's health just lmk what to use #i dont anticipate posting about it very often but u never know

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percyjacksonscookies · 2 months

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im not trying to blame normal people for the governments failures to protect its citizens

but its wild to me that people that have the means to straight up won't mask

i haven't been sick since 2021 and idk about yall but not being sick for years at a time is kinda great

anyways mask up for the disabled ppl in ur community and yourself!!! covid isn't over cause the government "said so" (aka won't protect vulnerable people and participate in genocide like this country was founded on)

#i like not getting sick #its pretty cool #i know this wont last forever cause getting sick is kinda inevitable #cant plan for all of lifes curve balls #but also #3 years!!!!#3 years of not getting sick and masking up diligently isnt a coincidence!!!!#my schtuff

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the-yearning-astronaut · 5 months

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#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night #when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm #because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today #and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work #my shift starts in just over an hour lmao #and i feel like a raging bitch #all snappy and nasty #but really im stretched too thin #and im terrified #of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life #but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him #(something in his neck temporarily dislocated)#and i just #im so SICK of everything being shitty #im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him #and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state...#and if something.....#i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit #(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.)#and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic #and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one #it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly #idk what to fuckin do #☉#tbd #im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.

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came0dust · 1 year

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i cannot keep drawing this dude on my phone but god do i love drawing him (+ bonus colors)

#my art #sketch #samsung notes #castlevania #alucard #i was doing gesture-y drawings but i drew him with a sword and shield and then i just wanted to Draw Him and. hes doing something to me man #i need to play sotn but im determined to play at least the first few games in order but i still havent beat 1. i fell out of it 😭😭😭#i want so badly to have a proper understanding of his character so i wont just be drawing like 'man.. pretty.... hair.. flowy...' forever #but also i refuse to make an educated guess on his characterization bc it will Not be educated. my exposure to him is so narrow #and also mostly forgotten. most of it was years ago and what i do know is surface-level at best. any nuance will literally be speculation 💀#but i Need to draw him. for my enrichment. hes so designed. so it ends up being just. Mysterious Handsome Man Looking Somewhere #seriously holy Shit. the more i absorb his design the more i have to draw him. ayami kojima was Cooking in the studio like damn #by the way these last two posts were scheduled. about two days after i did both of them give or take. i did this the night before last post #im trying to pace myself a bit better (its not really working 💀)#for context: the colored version was literally not even a thought when i originally put this post together #i did it the day after making the sketch and then three days later (the earliest you will see this) the post posted #oh shit right that means #medibang paint #shoutouts to multiply layer mode i would not be able to just do this without being able to keep my sketch #if i had to redraw it i would not have done the colors lol #anyways stream wandering ghosts bye bye love and peace 🤞

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socksandbuttons · 1 year

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And now for something wholesome sort of AU for UnderREM absolutely inspired by @calcium-cat‘s One Small Dream. (we love to see bby versions) I’ve already posted sort of on the concept. cause its still concept. i just think its a cute au.... me and bestie talked about it a bit. Nightmare turning back into... small child version before he was ‘cursed’. Dream took one look and went ‘If anything were to happen to my brother I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. We’re not doing this again!’ Proceeds to call himself Nightmare and Baby Nightmare ‘Daydream’ (oh look at that!) Anyway, will not let ANYONE call this child ‘Nightmare’. He will show up and go ‘YOU CALLED ME?’ A terrifying force of a grimace. Tsiuri just crying cause baby daydream so cute. She too is on the squad of DO NOT harm the child.

#the sort of is very much implied #is anythign solved here?? i guess we'll see #anyway average man also crying about his sons being adorable but also COncerned #UnderREM #undertale au #dream papyrus #oh look flowey! dont think about it #(i say knowing full well)#daydream nightmare #i wont give this au a tag due to maybe only two posts #anyway i die forever on the last image cause it gets me everythign LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTEEEE #dream has existential crisis but its fine #when doesnt he #myart

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bloodenjoyer · 9 months

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you guys i am soooo freaked out i think i lost my fake id and im so upset to be fully honest...

#tried to go to the dispensary today adn was like Oh No.#my two fears are 1) its LOST FOREVER!!! 2) i lost it at WORK and a coworker who actually knows me will find it. and then i wont be able to #like. get it back. because id have to tell a MANAGER like. lolll yeah thats my fake id. (<no way to lie because its got a whole other #last name age etc..)

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jvzebel-x · 4 months

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