#i have a lot of issues

[k1ttennn]

me 🤝🏾 seeing the beauty in everyone else other than myself

[neo-neos]

*Insert clown emoji*

[realbigpodcastslut]

One of my favorite DE lines is: "My point is, you need to see a psychiatrist about this shit. Not a psychologist -- several degrees harder. Is there something harder than a psychiatrist?" He pauses to think. "A forensic psychiatrist. Go talk to that."

While I don't see a forensic psychiatrist, I see a former forensic social worker because I have that many issues hahaha.

[farlooms]

tbh these past couple weeks have been really...peaceful. i feel a sense of levity and im a lot more calm typically. i feel really lax and free-feeling now. maybe its just because i love winter, and with things getting consistently cold here i dont have to worry about thermoregulating as much. maybe its my internship. maybe its because things at home have been....moderately normal. its still not great, and far from perfect, and i want out the second i can, but its the closest to normal its ever been. im the closest to normal ive ever been.

[1827crowleys]

i just bought the double check mark im so good with money

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[fairydriver]

if you post an image in discord itll round the corners, but once you hit a certain smallness it rounds into a circle. so basically if you make an image that is 32x32 and you post it in discord itll go from this

to this.

so you basically can just draw a little face in mspaint or something and paste it into discord and itll look like a little emoji. you can potentially mess around with this a lot, its proportional to your image going smaller and it doesnt have to be a square either.

[macaknight]

When I was in fourth grade, I wanted to be in the school choir, so I tried auditioning. I’ve always loved singing, but at the time I didn’t had any vocal training or preparation (I still don’t) but I remember practicing with my mom and grandma a lot, they did participate on choirs, so they taught me a few tricks.

I was new at that school and I had transferred due to bullying and high pressure from teachers who didn’t understand ADHD, a lot of stuff went down in my previous school, stuff I didn’t realize how badly it hurtes me until now that I’m an adult, stuff that made me a very shy little girl. But I was so excited to audition nonetheless.

A friend came with me for “support” to the audition, it was during recess. 

The music teacher started playing and my friend sang with me… No, she out sang me. She was already on the choir and had been for years. She had a great voice (I think she still does, I’ve lost any contact with her) and she used to laugh at me whenever I sang, so I stopped singing in front of people except family.

But I loved singing, I still do sing as hard as I can.

But I hate listening to my recorded voice.

I still have trouble believing people complimenting my voice when I happened to sing in the car.

Whenever I get a compliment I have a weird feeling of wanting more but not wanting to sound conceited

Whats is this emotion?

[cemeterything]

pros of keeping records of your old writing: whenever you refer back to it you will experience the unparalleled gratification of being able to see just how much progress you've made. you may even find yourself revisiting ideas you had that you didn't have the skills to fully realise at the time, but have since developed enough to renew your efforts.

cons of keeping records of your old writing: you will find yourself constantly mortified and tormented by the words of the stupidest most ignorant shit idiot currently drawing breath on earth, and that person is you

[ludinusdaleth]

"Did you just spritz the Spider Queen?!"

-Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 93, "Bittersweet Reunions"

[philsmeatylegss]

X

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[uncanny-tranny]

To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

willingly unloved