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#and i like how caleb turned out
morningsaidthemoon · 2 years
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weary boy, how long have you been running?
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milquetoad · 1 year
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of the many injustices put forth toward the show by fans i think the most overall damaging and telling of a complete lack of critical viewership is the idea that sam riegel builds his characters with nothing more than the bit in mind. like you are only telling on yourself if you think characters like scanlan shorthalt and veth brennato are one-dimensional and depthless
#if im being exTREMEly generous i can maybe understand this view of scanlan if you started c1 and then gave up 30 episodes later#he played the long game with him more than any other and a lot of his growth could be looked at as shallow if you DIDNT watch til the payoff#but any time this opinion is used as a blanket over all of his characters including tary and even FCG.. like be serious#i mean at this point im definitely biased bc he is my favorite player at the table. However. that wasnt always the case#and even when i was myself writing some character choices off i NEVER applied that to the characters themselves. how can you??#seen sooo many ppl criticize him for making veth an alcoholic or scanlan irreverent & hedonistic as tho it’s only possible#to play these traits as shallow jokes or at best played out satire…. and then the same person will turn around#and praise how percy was built to be pompous & superior and jester immature & self-centered and caleb steeped in self-effacing hubris#why are these characters and their players given a near universal acceptance of nuance and acknowledgement of growth & healing#but SAMS CHARACTERS ARE NOT!!!!#this turned into such a rant but it bothers me SO much. everyone at the cr table is so goddamned talented#and takes the game as seriously as it deserves#so many more points i could argue but this is already so goddamn long no one is reading this far. i love sam and all of his characters <333#critical role#sam riegel#scanlan shorthalt#veth brennato#my posts
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heyits-peach · 2 years
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Them 🍂
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wittebaness · 2 years
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The Brothers Wittebane
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merlevum · 1 year
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thebramblewood · 1 year
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While we temporarily put the party on halt, the newest additions to the Vatore portrait collection.
I'm sorry, I'm addicted to doing these, and I don't even fully know what Arcane is. I just think they're pretty!
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@brainwormterrarium's Caleb for artfight because i feel So Normal about him
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sstarnights · 1 year
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TOH screenshot redraws wahoo
The first 2 :😍🥰🤩😊✨ The Third one:😨😬😭👎💀
I don't draw for weeks, thinking that I'd draw something big and good. Then I just do flipping screenshot redraws lmao.
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sysig · 7 days
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Everything falls into place so nicely when they’re together (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Do I still not have a Caleb tag?? Rude of me#The Captain#DAX#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Random sillies again ♪ They just appear so often!#I can't help myself with my faves - double bonus on that first one! Flipped up shirt /and/ stretchies gah all the cutes#Max is described as having ''strangely defined hips'' hehe <3 Curvy! Of course ♫#Cutest lad <3#Speaking of cute lads!! Caleb!!!#Still using that 2019 chibi style - everyone deserves a turn! It's super cute!#Man he really is adorable hwah poor dear deserves a break haha#ZEX nad DAX hearties of course <3 DAX is So unromantic who could he ever possibly have a crush on haha how absurd to consider#ZEX pls#He's too busy going after everyone else! DAX is right there!!#Gah I'm so excited for them to kiss at some point it Has to happen right <3 <3#Lol okay so the costumes - I was thinking about zodiac personality stereotypes and then#It's not Just self-indulgent that I see Dexter as being a Scorpio okay! (It is) It just makes sense!! And Max as a Leo look like I just said#If it fits then it just fits! What can I do about it! Lol#What's funny is that canonically Max is a Capricorn haha - he totally has that Leo trait of wanting to be the center of attention tho!#Capricorns are like - stubborn and industrious? Mmmmh yeah okay lol#I'm not at all biased by knowing some Leos irl and Zero (0) Capricorns to my knowledge lol#Dexter feels obvious lol do I need to explain - secretive possessive loyal etc. etc. It's not just me being biased! (It is!) Lol#It is very fun to me to think about Writer Bias haha ♪ Max's POV written Such a way hehe <3 I always love that kind of thing!#And y'know - DAX writer bias lol okay I'll admit to that one lol#And rounding out with the trio <3 Who is leaving such a negative impression on them! Fun to draw them in a line :D
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breezy-cheezy · 1 year
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Color Palette Challenge: ORANGE BRACKET
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golden--flowers · 2 years
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Star wars tales of the jedi... ;_;
Oh I didn't know there was a tag limit. Okay last things are they were good episodes and I like how the clone wars animation style has evolved, the painty effect is neat
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nellasbookplanet · 3 months
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An interesting aspect of Laudna and Imogen's relationship and how it has developed is the fact that they got together early in their campaign, long before either of them had any chance to work through their respective issues. Vax confessed his feelings for Keyleth early on (relatively so; c1 had been going for a while before it started streaming), but she explicitly turned him down at the time, and they didn't actually get together until she felt she was ready, later in the campaign. Percy and Vex didn't get together until after Percy had worked through his figurative and literal inner demons. Jester and Fjord didn't get together until he had moved away from Uk'otoa and his self-worth issues, and she from her romanticized ideas of romance. Yasha and Beau didn't become a couple until both of them had moved away from their self-destructive tendencies and Yasha had let go of Zuala and Beau of Jester. Caleb and Essek didn't get together until the epilogue, when Caleb finally let go of the past and embraced the future.
When Laudna and Imogen got together, Laudna was at one of her lowest points (and has since started digging), having just invited Delilah back in, and Imogen was (is) still struggling against the temptation of Predathos. While Imogen has since gone great strides in growing, Laudna has regressed, using her feelings for Imogen as an excuse to further give in to Delilah to protect her. She's too bogged down by her own self-worth issues to uphold a healthy relationship, and keeps hurting Imogen by hurting herself, not realizing how or why this upsets Imogen.
And I can't help but wonder, would Percy and Vex's relationship have been as destructive had they gotten together before or during the Briarwoods arc? Jester and Fjord if they got together during the pirates arc? Yasha and Beau if they got together before or just after Obann, when they were both self-destructing massively? Caleb and Essek if they got together while they were still low-key manipulating and honeypotting each other for information?
But even without the romance, Laudna and Imogen likely wouldn't have escaped the situation they're now in. They started out already kind of co-dependent, and remind me of Vax & Vex and Caleb & Nott in that way. But whereas the twins and Caleb and Nott's arcs had them learn to question each other and embrace love for other people rather than isolate themselves, Imogen and Laudna has only gotten more entrenched in each other's issues, and more unwilling to push each other to grow.
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forgetriestowrite · 29 days
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Allura got me thinking about M9 again
she said they have a "resilience to [the weave mind's] strengths" which is true but I haven't truly thought about HOW true it is, I was too busy screaming MIGHTY NEIN VOX MACHINA over and over in my head
but like... they really are the best people to take down a hostile hive mind
not only have they literally done that before, but Beau fought off the mind-controlling hold of a demon that had kept her wife captive for years
Then Yasha broke that hold on herself
Jester literally believed so hard in an archfae that she turned him into a deity, and she made friends with an ACTUAL HAG in order to get her friend's curse broken, and it WORKED
Fjord started the campaign in a soul-eating pact with a demigod and ended it as a champion of the Wildmother, which was jumpstarted by him doing the most insane thing he could have done to break Ukotoa's control
Caleb's whole journey was self-love and healing and learning to accept the dark parts of his past and use them for good
Veth not only helped him with that, but also spent the whole campaign working on herself so she could be the person her husband and son knew her to be
Caduceus found a way to bring Kingsley back even though it should have been impossible, because he saw how much his friends wanted it, and he knew what happened to Molly and Lucien was unfair
And to top it all off, they found out one of their own had been manipulated and abused his entire teenage and technically also his adult life, and proceeded to find the person responsible and bully him relentlessly ("I hope someone will mourn you when you are gone" is still the rawest line in cr history), then beat his ass and eventually kill him
these people have shown time and time again that they will not tolerate any kind of authoritative control, especially if it hurts one of them. They refuse to buy into it, and they will destroy anyone who even tries to manipulate someone else.
There is no one else who can go to the moon and completely dismantle their oligarchy. I don't know if there is anyone else who would be willing to do it.
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unluckywisher · 1 month
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The LADS Lads™ if they suddenly turned into animals:
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Zayne turns into a tuxedo cat while he's typing away at his computer. He notices because suddenly he's sitting at his desk and pawing at the keyboard.
He goes "Mrawh!?" and tries to call you to come help, but he can't unlock his phone without his fingerprint. Luckily, you had an appointment a bit later in the day, so when you arrive, he starts bapping his Identification Card and meowing at you.
At first you don't know what's going on, obviously, why there's a cat in Zayne's office and not him, but you move closer and pick it up in your arms, and you recognize his eye color.
"Zayne?" You ask. He meows in response. He seems comfy in your arms though, purring away. You take him home for the day and make excuses to his coworkers.
He cozies up to you on the couch, loafing on your lap and closing his eyes in relaxation. Maybe he should turn into a cat more often, he thinks.
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Rafayel turns into a mermaid betta while he's on a videocall with you. Just- Poof, fish. He flops out of view and into the cup of water he had near him.
You rush to his house, and in the time you take to arrive, he blows a few bubbles and shakes his fins, clearly upset by this whole situation. He attempts to jump over to Reddie's tank, but he ends up on the floor.
Thankfully you arrive just then, and toss him into the tank with a relieved sigh. He bumps against the glass as if saying "What took you so long?" and turns his back on you. You reach into the tank and caress his tail, "I came as fast as I could, I swear!".
Eventually he warms up to your touch and swims between your fingers, in acceptance of your words. Still, you better get ready to spend the rest of the day with him since he "might get turned into a fish again, and you wouldn't want to leave me by myself, riiight?"
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Xavier turns into a mini lop rabbit in the middle of a mission. He's forced to flee combat, hopping away to the location your mission takes place in.
By the time he arrives, he might have taken a little nap under a bush since the run was so exhausting, but that's irrelevant, he has to find a way to let you know he's him.
You crouch to pet the cute bunny but stop short of it when he jumps to hit your Hunter’s Watch, somehow knowing how to call Xavier. The call doesn't go through, and the rabbit thumps the ground, then cleans his face. As strange as it seems, the situation dawns upon you.
He stands on his hind legs, waiting for you to pick him up. You do. On the way back home, he falls asleep again on your arms, ears tucked in. Why weren't you both born rabbits, he wonders.
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Sylus turns into a vampire bat while showing off his 'singing skills' to Luke and Kieran. "Wait, boss, you sound better now." They say before they realize what has happened.
He flaps his wings in annoyance and perches himself next to Mephisto, who is very confused and keeps tilting his head to study the new flying friend.
The twins, slightly panicked, call you and tell you to come over. Obviously you don't know how to fix it, but it's a funny situation and you weren't going to miss it.
When you arrive, the bat flies over to you and starts making chittering sounds. It seems like Sylus isn't going to miss this opportunity to show you his singing skills too now that he supposedly sounds ‘even better’.
He doesn't usually act this cute, so you shut up and happily pet his fuzzy head. Good luck when he turns back.
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Caleb turns into a bernese mountain dog as he’s cooking dinner. You're waiting in the living room, scrolling through Tumblr, when there's a crash at the kitchen.
He greets you with a joyful bark, wagging his tail at maximum speed. It seems like he was carrying the sauce from one place to another, and he got turned in the middle of the action, covering him in sauce. He starts licking himself but you stop him.
“Let's give you a bath.” You laugh, cleaning the floor. He doesn't seem to mind, he’s just happy to be there with you. You pet a clean part of his fur and he gives you what looks like a smile.
After the bath he shakes himself dry, splashing water all over you. He barks as if laughing. You consider feeding him actual dog food when he turns back in retaliation.
A/N: You might ask yourself, Irene, why did you transform Sylus into a bat instead of a crow? Well, I felt like it was too easy and too repetitive since Mephi is already a crow, and I feel like a bat represents him well too! Also, I really said “immersion” with that ‘scrolling through Tumblr’ bit, huh. LMAO. Why do I love changing LaDS characters into different versions of themselves is something that no one knows. Btw that Xavier part was completely inspired by Roxie (unbeknownst to her) so you can thank her.
- dividers by @/jiyascepter , @/kaitsawamura , @/saradika , @/drifting-moon , and last one made by me <3
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amoscontorta · 12 days
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Sylus gets a headache | ao3 | other fics in this 'series'
Summary: Sylus has secured the promise from you that he can use your place as a safe house if he's in the area and needs it. Sylus's definition of "need", it turns out, might be different than your own, as illustrated by the first time he shows up unannounced at your door.
Sylus x gn reader, Sylus x mc, no use of y/n. This story contains: fluff, banter, Sylus has a hard time keeping his hands to himself, legal arguments, bad puns, self-indulgent writing, repetitive finger caressing, insomnia that Sylus is determined to vanquish by any means, Xavier is an innocent victim in all this and has no idea, except has Xavier ever been innocent in his entire life? CWs: insomnia, consumption of alcohol, profanity SFW, mostly. With some filthy innuendos at the end. It's Sylus, after all.
It has been a few days since you had the best night’s rest you can remember on the back of a certain miscreant crime lord’s motorcycle, and you’re once again preparing for a long, torturous night of staring at the ceiling and trying to catalogue all the classes of wanderers in an attempt to lull yourself to sleep—Nero’s suggestion. You have your doubts about whether it will work, but he gave the advice so earnestly after overhearing you talking to Tara about your insomnia that you feel obligated to give it a go. Sylus would probably scoff and say something about ‘people pleasing,’—you shake your head. That man does not get to live rent free in your brain, no matter how suspiciously kind he was the last time you saw him.
The kettle squeals, and you pour the boiling water into your chipped “World’s Greatest Hunter” mug that Caleb had gifted you once you were admitted into the Association’s ranks. The hot liquid steams soothingly into your face as it drowns a chamomile teabag, and you try not to think about the last time you saw him, when he was smiling. Patting your head. Whole, and so, so vibrantly alive. You take a deep, shaky breath.
After a suggestion from Tara, you add some honey and then slice a lime and squeeze the juice into the tea, absently stirring the spoon and gazing out your balcony window. You’re home early for once, and the sun is only just setting. You can’t see it through the high rises around you, but dusk filters down into the streets below your flat. The gentle sounds of the city moving into late evening drift up, the traffic like waves crashing on the shore, laughter and shop bells tinkling, a dog barking somewhere.
Suddenly, your doorbell chimes through your apartment and startles you out of your reverie. Did you forget that you had ordered something to be delivered today?
Without thinking too hard about it, you take your still piping-hot tea and pad to the foyer to answer the door.
Only to have your sense of calm shattered as you fling the mug out of sheer, instinctual self-preservation that Zayne accuses you of not having, when you see who is standing on the other side.
Quicker than your brain can actually process Sylus’s presence outside your flat, scarlet-night tendrils have prevented the mug from shattering on the floor, but have failed to stop the liquid from continuing its projectile path right onto his red, standing collar shirt and black vest.
“The fuck, Sylus?”
“You really, and I mean really, need to work on your greetings, kitten,” he tells you calmly, evol delivering the mug into his waiting hand while he holds the suitcase he has in the other hand away from his body to avoid being dripped on by his now soaked torso.
“Sorry, you were the last person I was expecting.” You wince, heart still threatening to beat its way out of your rib cage.
“Oh, expecting someone, are we?” he lifts a dark silver eyebrow.
“No, but least of all… you.” You flap your hand in his general direction. “What are you even doing here?”
“How about,” he drawls, “you let me in, and I’ll tell you. You wouldn’t want your neighbors to get curious and come to inquire about the mess I’m making on your doorstep, would you?”
You stare at him for a moment longer, trying to think of a way out of having him in your space, again, but you’re tired at the end of another long day, another long week, another long month and this whole entire fucking year. Trying to get rid of him will take more energy than just letting him do what he wants so that he’ll go away again. You run a hand down your face and shuffle aside.
He enters, and the scent of him fills the small foyer, warm and mouth-watering. He sets the briefcase and mug on the floor, removes his dress shoes and places them neatly by your own hastily-kicked-off boots next to the step leading into the rest of your flat. He then picks the mug back up and reads what’s written on it.
“World’s best hunter, indeed.” He snorts softly, eyes flicking from your face to your thin tank top and sleep shorts covered in grinning little bounce, bounce planet blobbus, to your bare feet. “Is this how the world’s greatest hunter always answers the door to unknown visitors?”
“It was a gift,” you say defensively, snatching the mug from him and cradling it to your chest. “And the only people who would be at my door this late is Xavier borrowing a cup of sugar for some doomed baking experiment, or a delivery person. I’m sure they’ve seen much worse than this,” you sweep your hand down your body in a dismissive flourish.
“Oh, I’m sure they’ve seen much worse.” Sylus frowns slightly.
“Yeah, so if they don’t like it, they’re welcome to move on to their next delivery.”
“Or buy their own sugar,” Sylus murmurs, reaching out to run a finger along your knuckles as you clutch the mug. “And who gave you this highly accurate mug?”
You hesitate, knowing that his face is going to do something complicated, like it always does, when you mention your family. But fuck it, he asked. If he doesn’t like the answer, he can also move on to whatever his next nefarious errand is. “Someone who was like a brother to me.”
“Brother, huh,” he says softly, still gently stroking your skin. “Well, he wasn’t wrong in this.” His hand falls back to his side. “Invite me all the way in, kitten. With your words,” he commands.
“And why should I do that? The deal was to let you come in. You’re in now. You don’t need to come in any further. Now it’s your turn to honor the deal. Why are you here?” You glare up at him, your foyer feeling minuscule with his big body and presence filling it.
“You offered me your place if I ever needed it,” Sylus narrows his glittering eyes. “I needed it today before you flung steaming liquid all over my clothes. And now I need it even more.” He looks pointedly down at the still-dripping clothes in question.
“What did you originally need it for?” You stall, the guilt of throwing a mug full—half! Half full! of tea at him starting to creep in.
“How about you invite me all the way into your home, with your words, help me take care of this mess you caused,” he waves a lazy finger at his torso, “and I’ll tell you.”
“But you already promised to tell me why you’re here in exchange for the initial value of me letting you in, and I let you in. I already paid. You can’t make me pay twice for the same goods,” you protest.
“Remind me to take you with me the next time I have contract negotiations. You’re more useful than my own legal counsel.” He pauses, considering you. “Circumstances have changed. Force majeure prevents me from fulfilling my original promise without requiring additional time and means to fulfil that promise. You owe me the opportunity to successfully deliver what I owe you.”
“What, exactly, is preventing you from telling me why you originally came to my home right here in my entryway?”
“The consequences of an unforeseeable natural disaster,” he answers with a little helpless shrug. “Namely, the trauma of nearly getting drowned in tea following almost being taken out by a mug launched with your god-like strength. Kitten, your assault is the equivalent of an act of god, and I can’t be responsible for the fact that I now need a dry shirt and a safe place to recover from the shock of almost being murdered by your tableware.”
You can’t help it. It has been so long since you’ve actually laughed out loud, so the noise that comes out of you doesn’t even sound human. You’re laughing, and you can’t stop. The affronted look on Sylus’s face in response to your ugly-snorts, causes you to laugh even more, and you’re suddenly bending over, holding your knees, laughing like you might die if you stop.
After a long moment, when you are finally able to breathe again, you straighten and find Sylus looking at you with a soft expression, one corner of his wide mouth slightly lifted… which is alarming. But you’re too filled with gratitude for the relief of laughing that his absurd exaggeration just gave you, so you refuse to think about anything at all too hard right now. You give in.
“Sylus, would you do me the honor of coming into my home? You can tell me what the hell you’re doing here after I find you a dry shirt.” You sarcastically bow as low as you can, your arms uplifted to gesture him forward.
“I suppose I can’t refuse such a graciously extended offer,” he says, as if resigned to a terrible fate, but his smile is smug and he wastes no time striding into your living room while unbuttoning his vest. He gently lays it over the back of your couch, and begins unbuttoning his shirt. You force yourself to stop staring as the pale skin slowly being revealed with each flick of his long fingers and head to your bedroom.
You paw through your chest of drawers, trying to find a shirt that will fit his broad shoulders and chest, but all you manage to do is make even more of a mess in your barely organized drawers. You stand, remembering the hoodie Xavier leant you after a recent, particularly messy battle on a chilly night. You move to your closet where you had hung it carefully to remind yourself to give it back to him after having washed it. You pull it from the hanger, turn around, and squeal loud enough to shatter glass.
Sylus is standing right behind you, chest bare, black slacks hung low around his narrow hips, and you did not heard him come in.
“I thought we were past the terror stage of our friendship, sweetheart,” he says, cocking his head, the same ruby stud earrings he was wearing at the club flashing in the light. “But that’s twice today that I’ve frightened you to the point of violence. Am I really that scary?”
“You keep… appearing, out of nowhere. A little warning would be appreciated,” you huff, heart pounding. You don’t know why you’re so nervous around him. Really. It has nothing to do with the broad expanse of creamy skin and pillowy man-tits shoved in your face at the moment. “And honestly, considering the fact that our friendship started with you choking me out and keeping me captive for days, it’s a wonder that I’m not more scared of you,” you flare, because yeah, how dare he act like you should be over the absolute shit-show of your first encounter, when you’ve hardly had any time to get to know him. That’s why you’re nervous. There is no other possible explanation. A couple friendly interactions do not make up for how much of an evil bastard he was when you first met him.
“Would you like me to wear a bell when I’m here, then?” he asks, conveniently ignoring the reminder regarding how he treated you not so long ago.
“How about you just stay out of my bedroom and stay where I can see you at other times,” you snap, feeling violent again at the intrusive thought of Sylus wearing a collar around his thick neck, cute little bell dinging every time he moved.
“I’ll do my best,” he says absently, clearly distracted by his thorough inventory of your bedroom as he takes in the tumbling plants in mismatched pots on floating shelves hanging over the unmade bed, the army of plushies scattered over the bunched up mountain of duvet and pillows. Your bed used to be your sanctuary. The place where you could find rest and relaxation after exhausting battles and long days squinting at the computer filing incident reports. Now it just gives you anxiety. You try to pull his attention away from the chaos of your former safe space by holding Xavier’s hoodie out for Sylus to take.
“Here, this might fit you.”
Sylus looks down at your offering, crosses his arms, and takes a step back, as if the hoodie is so offensive that it warrants recoiling physically from it. “That’s quite a big hoodie for you, even for days when you want to be comfortable,” he says evenly.
“It’s not mine, but it’s clean, and I’m pretty sure it’s the only thing I have right now that will fit you,” you say, shaking it a little in the universal, impatient gesture of just take it already for fuck’s sake.
“And who is its actual owner?”
“Xavier.”
“In the habit of wearing your partner’s clothing, are we?” he asks, still staring at it, the disdain now plain in his assessment of the sweatshirt.
“Uh, sometimes? We were on a mission recently and my jacket got torn to the point of uselessness, and it was cold. He let me wear his hoodie so I wouldn't be cold. It's been washed since then, so it's clean. I’ll just wash it again when you’re done using it before I return it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
After what seems like a ridiculous amount of time for him to apparently make some mental calculations that only he will ever understand, he finally takes the soft hoodie from you, fingertips brushing yours as he grasps the fabric. You can’t figure out why he he suddenly looks more smugly evil than you’ve ever seen, with his lips curved up in a sardonic smirk. “Oh, of course, I’m sure he will not mind at all.” He pulls the hoodie over his head and shimmies a little as he drags it down is body; it’s a little tight around the shoulders, but you don’t think it’s tight enough to permanently stretch the fabric.
After it’s on, he tugs the collar up to his nose and inhales deeply.
“What are you doing?” you ask, as if you can’t see perfectly well what he is doing.
“It smells like you,” he answers, shameless, as if that is a perfectly reasonable answer to your question.
“Well, I did wear it, and wash it with my normal detergent and it has been hanging in my closet for a while, so…” your voice trails off.
“And soon it will smell like me too,” he continues, letting the collar fall with a satisfied flick of his fingers.
What even is this conversation? “Can you just be normal? For once?" A look of boredom is all the response you get, so you continue. "Now get out of my bedroom. Come tell me why you’re here in the first place.” You stride past him, making your way into the living room.
He follows you obediently and plops down on the couch, and just like last time, spreads his legs wide. This time, he is able to rest his arms on either side along the back of the couch, effectively occupying the whole damn thing. He sits quietly, looking at you expectantly.
You stand, arms folded, a safe distance away from the couch near the kitchen island.
“Well?” You prompt.
“It’s customary to offer your guest a refreshing beverage upon receiving them in your home. I believe I offered you wine the first time I hosted you in my own home.”
“Hosted?” He can’t be serious. “What a generous euphemism for ‘unlawfully imprisoned,’” you bite out.
“Po-tae-to,” he says serenely, “Po-tah-to.”
“Sylus,” you warn—about what, you’re not sure. He wants a beverage? Okay, perhaps you’ll fling more hot tea at him if he doesn’t start talking.
“Kitten.” He continues gazing at you, clearly in no hurry to move things along.
“If you don’t tell me, right now, why the hell you showed up at my place unannounced, I will report you as a burglar and have you removed by the authorities.”
“But then how will you explain to Xavier why I’ve been arrested wearing his sweater?” he asks, eyes wide, all concern for what your partner’s thoughts on the matter would be, and what they would mean for you.
“Burglars have been known to be creeps and go rooting through their victims’ closets and wearing their clothes! I’ll just say you were wearing it when I got here. Maybe he’ll be worried that it’s him you’re actually interested in harassing,” you snicker, trying to picture Xavier’s reaction.
As you’re speaking, Sylus pulls out his phone and fiddles with it with a bored expression on his face.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I boring you? Perhaps you should go find something more interesting to do and leave me in peace,” you grind out after you’ve finished and notice his complete lack of attention.
Your irritation is interrupted by a notification on your phone. Since Sylus is so busy messing with his, you grab yours from where it has been lying on the counter since before Sylus interrupted your peaceful evening staring out into the city. You see that you have a new message from… the man currently oozing across the entirety of your couch, head lolled to the side and watching you with a hint of amusement curving his mouth.
You open the chat, and your eyes widen at the conversation that never fucking happened currently loading into your chat history, with time stamps corresponding to when Sylus showed up at your door.
You: Oh Sylus, my big, handsome partner in crime, I think there’s an intruder in my flat and I’m so scared!
The Sytuation: What makes you think theres an intruder in your home, kitten? Im on my way.
You: There is sugar missing from my pantry! I just bought a new bag yesterday, and it’s gone! Oh please, my dark knight, come protect me from the sugar thief who should buy his own sugar and stop coming to my place to pilfer mine!
The Sytuation: Of course, sweetie. Go wait by the door, Ill be there in 5.
“What. Is. This. Fuckery,” you demand, thrusting your phone in his face.
He shrugs. “You threatened to lie about why I’m here in a bid to get rid of me. Did you not expect me to counter your move to ensure that no one will believe you?” he pauses, and then narrows his eyes. "Did you really save me in your phone as 'The Situation,' with a Y?"
"Punny, right? My phone doubles as my work phone. You really think I'm going to save your real name in my contacts? I might as well just save you as 'Sylus Qin, leader of Onychinus, most wanted criminal in the N109 zone," you grumble. "And trust me, that's the nicest name I could come up with."
"Punny," he repeats derisively, unimpressed.
“And don't derail. What is this nonsense about a sugar thief?” You wave the phone again.
“Your colleague should learn to stock his own pantry if he wants to engage in… what did you call them? Doomed baking experiments?”
“How did you even… why does it look so real?” You gaze down at the texts that look so authentic that if they hadn’t been filled with such bullshit, you’d be doubting your own sanity about whether the conversation had really happened.
“You’re really surprised that faking evidence, alibis and dirt on my opponents is a part of my vast skill set? I’m hurt that you underestimate me so.” He looks at you like he’s disappointed, a little pout pulling down his stupid beautiful mouth.
“For fuck’s sake.” You’re done. The longer you resist, the longer Sylus will be in your flat, driving you up the wall. “Fine. Fine!” You set your phone down again and throw up your hands. “What do you want to drink, Sylus?”
“Two fingers of gin, if you have it. Or brandy. Or vodka.” He thinks for a moment. “I’m not feeling too picky tonight.”
“I don’t keep hard liquor in my house, you alcoholic. I have a half-open bottle of rosé in the fridge. Will that satisfy his lordship?” You turn resignedly to trod your way to your fridge.
“What vineyard and vintage?” he asks, perking up.
You open the fridge and pull out the bottle. You squint at the label. “I dunno. It has a cute fish on the label, so I bought it.”
He looks at you like you just murdered Mephisto, and you begin pouring the pink liquid into another mug. This one says UNT on the side in big block letters, matching the size of the handle so that when you hold it, the handle looks like a matching C. You walk back to where he’s sitting, and you think that maybe your smile looks as smug as Sylus’s usually does when you hand him his drink.
He takes the mug from you, snorts when he reads the side, and then look at its contents dubiously for a moment.
“You taste it first,” he finally says, looking back up at you.
“Worried I poisoned it?” You’re still grinning.
“As you say,” he says, tilting his head.
“Perhaps you shouldn’t demand beverages from people you don’t trust then.”
“I trust you, just not your taste in wine after learning you choose bottles based on the cuteness of the label. Indulge me,” he murmurs. “Prove to me that you’re willing to drink it, and that it’s not just swill you’re trying to get rid of by offering it to me.”
You take the mug from him and lift it to your lips, taking a sip, watching him over the rim as you swallow. His nostrils flair, and he lifts his hand in a gesture for you to return it to him. Instead of giving it back, you take one more big gulp, and his brow furrows. Only after you've slowly swallowed again do you comply, relishing the warmth spreading through your body as you lower the mug for him to take. He brushes your fingers again as he takes it back. He turns the mug, so that his mouth hovers where yours just was. He then closes his eyes and inhales, gently swirling the liquid inside. Eyes still closed, he takes a sip.
After a moment, he sighs. “Thank you. This is actually not bad, for a rosé.”
“You’re such a snob,” you smile down at him, irrationally pleased that he seems so pleased.
“Life is too difficult, and too short, to waste on inferior experiences. I only like tasting the best,” he says, bright red eyes opening and fixing on you.
He looks up at you like you should be able to draw some deeper meaning from his words, but you’re tired, warm from the wine, and despite how much he winds you up you were just moments ago, right now you’re strangely relaxed for the first time in days.
“Tell me why you’re here, Sylus,” you say quietly.
“You told me I could use your place when I needed it,” he says, just as softly. He takes another drink, rolls it around in his mouth. Swallows, his adam’s apple dipping.
“And why did you need it this evening?”
“I had some negotiations regarding a business acquisition that I’m considering in this part of Linkon City, and they were abhorrently boring. By the time they were over, I had a splitting headache, and the sunlight didn’t help. It would have been unsafe to operate a motor vehicle under those conditions, so I thought I’d come and wait for it to pass in my newest ‘safe house,’ he answers gravely, as if getting a headache was a perfectly logical reason to crash your evening and take over your couch. “Wouldn’t want to endanger the innocent citizens of Linkon City with reckless driving, now would we?”
“Aren’t all of your shady business deals done under the cover of darkness? Why were you here at a meeting during the day?”
He’s holding the mug in one hand by his fingertips now, along the rim, slowly swirling it. He crosses one long leg over the other and answers languidly. “You’re assuming that today’s business was ‘shady.’”
“So your business today was legitimate?” You’ve been standing for awhile now, and begin to shift from bare foot to bare foot.
He hums in acknowledgement. “My business interests are as varied as they are successful. You insult me by looking so surprised.”
“Well I would never want to insult you,” you drawl. “So that’s it? You got a headache and decided you’d crash my evening?”
He nods, touching his temple and grimacing. “It’s still pretty bad, to be honest.”
“The daylight bothers you that much?” you ask, genuinely curious. You have always assumed that it was the nature of his occupation and perhaps just a proclivity for being a night owl that explained his nocturnal existence, but now you’re wondering if it’s not something deeper that has him avoiding it as much as possible.
You finally decide to give your tired feet a break and perch on the little corner of couch cushion that has been freed for use by Sylus crossing his legs. “If sunlight bothers you that much, what could possibly be so important to come out in it today?”
“Are you really asking about the details of my business ventures, sweetheart?” he asks in what you suspect is feigned astonishment.
“And if I am?”
“Then I’ll tell you,” he responds easily.
“Then I am.”
“I’m in discussions for acquiring a chain of entertainment venues in Linkon City.” He leans his head on the couch’s backrest and lets it roll to the side to keep looking at you. He catches the look of disgust that is no doubt obvious on your face.
“Entertainment venues,” you say flatly.
“Yes. Is there something wrong with that?”
“What kind of … entertainment venues?” you ask, hating yourself for wanting to know. It’s his business if he wants to buy porn shops, or strip clubs, or brothels—your stomach twists, and you refuse to consider why.
“What kind of ideas are racing through that fascinating brain of yours?” he asks, reaching up and running two of his fingers along your temple, brushing your hair away from your eyes.
“Nothing,” you bite out, turning your face away from his touch. You normally dislike how you have a hard time concealing how you’re feeling, but you particularly hate it right now.
“Mmhmm,” he murmurs. “Then, to answer your question, it’s a chain of arcades.”
Your brain grinds to a halt. Did he just say—
“Arcades?”
He nods, and winces, closing his eyes. You’re starting to believe that his head is actually hurting him, and you feel bad for throwing dishware and hot tea at him and refusing to offer him more than the one drink he asked for.
“Why would you be interested in acquiring an arcade chain?”
“Even for odious crime lords, it’s always wise to have a diversified business portfolio.”
You have called him a lot of things both out loud and in your head, but you’d never call him odious. Odorous, perhaps, when he’s sweating heavily after being riddled with bullets. But you have to suppress the urge to chastise him about talking about himself that way.
“Which chain is it?”
“You probably don’t know it,” he says, as if bored with the question. “It’s not a very large chain, but large enough for my interests.”
“Try me! I love going to the arcade when I have some free time. I mean, you’ve seen my plushie collection now that you invited yourself into my house,” you bounce a little on the couch.
“You invited me, kitten. You’ve had a choice, each and every time.”
“Don’t deflect! Answer the question!” You’re quite excited about this. Maybe if it’s a place you know, that has a location nearby, he’ll give you a discount if he ends up buying them? Like an employee discount or something. Is that ethical? You should check the Association’s employee handbook for conflicts of interest.
He squints, as if preparing to evaluate your reaction, and names your favorite place to play the claw machine.
“For real? You’re really going to buy them?”
“I still have to review the contract that was proposed during today’s discussions with my legal counsel, but if negotiations are successful, then yes,” he says, casually examining his nails.
Your excitement is hard to contain, but you suddenly have a troubling thought. “You’re not going to change anything, right? Like, that place is perfect as it is, and the employees are all really friendly and helpful and clearly work hard to keep it really nice,” you rush out, worried that he’s planning to reduce the staff  or try to jack up the prices for a larger profit margin.
He turns to look at you again, and doesn’t answer for long enough that you’re really starting to worry. But then he says softly, “No, I’m not going to change a thing.”
“Oh? So they’re doing well? It’s a solid financial investment?” You’re so relieved, safe in the knowledge that your plushies will continue to be accessible, insofar as claw machines by design allow them to be.
Sylus laughs softly. “Yes, the financials all look good. Considering your interest in the nature of binding agreements, would you like to look over the purchase agreement with me? I have it with me.”
“I’d actually really like to, but I’m starting to get really tired,” you yawn, the relief you were just feeling—the relief of knowing that Sylus wasn’t up to anything that would leave a blood trail today, relief that he didn’t come tonight to try to force you to resonate or finally kill you for refusing to do so, and most importantly, relief that he wasn’t going to acquire and ruin one of the little pleasures in your life—all of it is now drowned out by a heavy feeling of pleasant drowsiness.
“Then I’ll read it to you, until you fall asleep.”
“Huh? You want to stay?”
“Yes,” he says, hauling himself to his feet and offering you his hand. You take it in confusion, and he lifts you to your feet as well. He sets the now empty mug on your coffee table, and then places his hands on your shoulders, gently guiding you from behind to your bedroom.
“Why?” you ask, not even thinking to object.
“Headache, remember?” He pushes you gently by your shoulders so that you’re sitting on your bed.
“How can you review legalese when you’re suffering from a headache?” You sink into the softness of the mattress.
“Why don’t you let me worry about that?” he says, nudging you until you’ve scooted to the middle of the bed. “Don’t move. I’m going to get my tablet out of my briefcase.” He disappears through the doorway, and you’re left sitting on your bed, surrounded by all of your plushies, and you have no idea what’s happening. You’re just too tired to argue with him. You really did miscalculate by spending all of your energy trying to get rid of him when he first arrived.
But just because you’re bone-tired, doesn’t mean you’re going to let him boss you around. You get off the bed and pad into the kitchen, passing him as he snaps his briefcase shut, tablet in hand.
“I distinctly recall telling you not to move,” he gripes, pushing up an elegant set of gold framed glasses perched on the uneven bridge of his nose with a middle finger. Huh, you didn’t know he needed glasses to read. He looks almost … cute wearing them, a little less feral. Like a leopard wearing a monocle.
Suppressing the thought of Sylus and cute in the same sentence, you ignore him, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. Then you rummage through your most chaotic kitchen drawer for a few moments, before triumphantly pulling out what you were looking for.
You pad back over to where he’s still watching you, and offer him the glass and the half-used blister pack of over-the-counter painkillers you fished out of your chaos drawer. “Here.”
He looks down at your hands, offering him what you hope is some relief from his headache. His face is impassive, and you’re worried he assumes you’re trying to poison him again. But then he tucks the tablet under one arm, and reaches out with both hands to grasp the glass and the pill pack—except he doesn’t take them from your hands. He envelops yours with his, and pulls you gently closer to him. He somehow manages to pop two tablets out of the pack with his thumb, and they drop into your curved palm. Still holding your hand, he leans down to sweep them from your skin with his tongue. In a complete daze, you watch him lift the glass that you’re still holding to his lips, and he takes a long pull of water, washing the pills down, all the while holding your gaze with his. When he’s done, he slowly lowers your hands again.
“Thank you,” he murmurs “For the benevolence of your heart.” He says it gravely, as if you’ve just saved his life instead of giving him some headache medicine.
“You’re welcome,” you whisper, feeling like you’ve been struck by a truck after… whatever that was, feeling the warmth of his tongue in the palm of your hand like he was still licking it. Sylus then turns and heads back to your bedroom.
You set the glass and the now-empty pill pack on the kitchen island, thinking you’ll clean up tomorrow if you manage to sleep tonight, and follow him.
In the bedroom, Sylus sits, leaning back against your headboard, having needed to gently scoop some plushies out of the way to make room. He stretches his legs out in front of him with a sigh. He looks so soft, wrapped in the white hoodie, silver hair rumpled, surrounded by pillows and cute little plushies.
It’s getting increasingly difficult to remember that the man currently sinking into your duvet and wiggling his sock-covered toes in contentment is the same man who straight up exploded the man who dared kidnap you, and then proceeded to kidnap you himself after choking you to the point of passing out. You try to hold both of these truths about him in your mind at the same time, but the image of Sylus dancing you gently through a press of bodies, of the way he caresses your fingers at every opportunity, the soft slide of his tongue along your palm—these images are conquering every other version of him that you know to be true in your mind. You wonder briefly if this is part of some larger scheme of his, and what his endgame could possibly be. But right now, you’re too fucking tired to care.
“What is even happening,” you ask. You’re exhausted, but you still have enough mental reserves to question how you got here, in this situation, with this man migrating from vanquishing your couch to a large part of your bed. “Is the coffee table, or kitchen table insufficient for your needs? Why are you going to review the paperwork here, on my bed?”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice how quickly you fell asleep on my back on the motorcycle the other night, sweetheart. I’m just reading you a bedtime story featuring limitations of liability and allocation of risk so that you can finally get some sleep again.” He pats his thigh. “Here.”
You just stare at him. “Don’t make me repeat myself,” he warns, tapping his thigh again with one long finger. Just for that, you glare mutinously at him and fold your arms over your chest.
He sighs again, this time in exasperation, and leans over, firmly lifting you and setting you down so that your head is pillowed against his meaty thigh. He begins to run his fingertips gently up and down the middle of your back. He returns his attention to his tablet. “Now listen carefully,” he commands, before flicking the screen with his thumb and beginning to read in his softly in his deep, rich voice.
But of course you don't. You fall asleep as the skyscrapers light up like a dragon's hoard of jewels in the night sky outside your window, to the sounds of Sylus’s quiet recitation of indeed, a terribly boring contract, and the whisper of his fingers along your skin.
When you wake up, there is another black feather on your pillow, and you are alone. You yawn, once again feeling unbelievably rested despite the chaos Sylus always brings to your door and into your life. You stretch leisurely, spreading your arms wide and turning your head on the pillow, when something catches in your earlobe. You reach up and run your fingers along a stud earring that was not there when you fell asleep. You feel your other earlobe, but it's empty. You grab your phone from the nightstand, knocking over a semiautomatic hand pistol with scarlet flames engraved along the grip that you also don't remember owning onto the floor. You stare at it briefly, ready to commit murder if you check it and find that the safety isn't on. But first things first: you put the phone camera in selfie mode and lift it to your face, but quickly lower it again after confirming that it is indeed a ruby stud in your ear, sparkling cheekily in the morning sunlight.
Later, you're relieved to find that Sylus did actually leave the safety on on your new little ... toy, and you'll find that the mugs have been washed and set neatly away, the empty pack of painkillers placed in the recycling bin. You also see that various takeout containers and other debris that had piled up on a lot of surfaces in your place are also gone, and the countertops are clean, the coffee and kitchen table gleam in the early morning sunlight. You don't notice that the white hoodie is nowhere to be found, until you meet up with Xavier later in the day. He's wearing one that looks exactly like it.
"Thanks for returning the hoodie," he yawns. "But you really didn't have to."
You pause, feeling a thread of panic start to wind its way through your stomach. You decide to just... go with it. "Oh? You found it okay?"
"Yeah, but why did you just leave it hanging from my door handle? You could have rung and come in. I had a new limited edition bag of those cookies you were looking at in the corner store last week. I would have shared some with you... but now I've eaten them all," he admits sheepishly, big blue eyes shimmering with guilt.
You try to think fast. Did Sylus give back the hoodie without washing it? What the fuck was he thinking? He could have been seen! Does this flat have surveillance footage? Does Xavier suspect anything? You realize that you still haven't answered Xavier's question as your panic spirals. "Oh, you know, didn't want to wake you up," you flap your hands, as if you can flap this entire situation right out of your messy life.
"Well, I don't know what you did to it, but it feels brand new. As if it's never even been washed. And you somehow got out the bbq sauce stain that no matter how much I sprayed it with that stain remover stuff would never come out. So you're going to have to teach me some of that laundry magic," he says contentedly, snuggling further into the entirely new hoodie that you now realize Sylus must have somehow, over the course of the night, had hand-delivered to Xavier's place. "Uh huh," you say absently, pulling out your phone to furiously text Mr. Asshat when you see that he has also changed his name in your contact list.
You: What the hell did you do with Xavier's hoodie?"
My Sy: It doesnt matter who it belonged to before me. All that matters is that its mine now.
You: It doesn't even fit you properly! You're too big for it!
My Sy: Nothing a little size training cant fix.
Your jaw drops. He cannot be implying what you think he's implying. This is your filthy mind at work. You decide that you will simply pretend this conversation never happened. Absolutely nothing good can come from trying to figure out what the fuck is going through Sylus's head at any given moment.
You: And 'My Sy?' Really?
My Sy: Its not punny, but it rhymes. And its accurate. Gotta put the phone down for a bit, kitten. Business requires my attention. Ill be seeing you soon.
You stare at his last message for long enough that Xavier asks if you're okay. You're not. You're not okay. You couldn't even bring yourself to ask him about the other earring, or the gun. You just slowly slip your phone back into your cargo pants pocket and try very hard to stop thinking, for the rest of the day.
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thebramblewood · 10 months
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You don't even want to know how much time I wasted on these.
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