#and i love having someone to root for. someone like me. watching Louis’ situation and just EDGE OF MY SEAT cheering him on to win like

[hazzabeeforlou]

.

[teawaffles]

Louis and the Aquaria: Chapter 4

Three days after the angelfish had fallen ill. In total, it was now 11 days since the fish had arrived at the mansion.

Despite Louis’s devoted care, ‘William’s’ condition had not improved.

Its fins, once proudly raised upright, were now drooping. The shine of its scales had faded away, and even the way it swam looked quivery and uncertain. During mealtimes, it left virtually all of its food uneaten. In short, ever since its poor health had been discovered, its condition had steadily worsened.

An angelfish, drifting through the water alone.

Louis was watching over it from a chair.

He could do nothing, and chafed at his own powerlessness. On top of that, the cause of its illness might’ve been his own thoughtless actions — it felt downright unbearable.

Incidentally, the South American trees that were brought in the other day had now been moved to the end of the hall. It was a reasonable measure: after all, there was a fear that the change in environment might have affected the fish. Now, one would think the area would’ve simply returned to its former state — but after the trees that had exuded such a strange presence were moved away, the space around the tank now looked somewhat empty.

Only the mechanical noises of the aquarium equipment could be heard echoing through the hall. Then, the hall door inched open, and there stood Fred.

Seated before the aquarium, Louis hadn’t even turned to look at the newcomer to the room. Instead, he watched the angelfish in earnest silence.

Fred walked up to him quietly.

“Are you alright?”

“If you’re talking about the angelfish, then unfortunately, its condition isn’t good. But although my attention has been taken up by the care of this one, by no means have I neglected the others. You can be assured of that.”

“…………”

Fred had actually been asking after Louis’s own health; but from that determined reply, he could sense that Louis had intentionally avoided the topic, and so he didn’t press further.

Looking over the surrounding tanks, he could see that the other fish were swimming energetically. Just as Louis had said, it seemed he had avoided falling into the trap of letting one fish impede the management of the entire endeavour.

For several minutes, an uncomfortable silence pervaded the space between them.

From the side, Fred looked at Louis and ‘William’ in turn. As the careworn man gazed at the sickly fish, his face exuded exhaustion in waves.

Ever since he’d begun nursing the fish, Louis had been in constant attendance by its tank. After preparing everyone’s meals, he would shut himself in this room to watch over it alone. Occasionally, out of concern, the others would come in to check on him — but Louis stubbornly refused to leave.

When was the last time he’d gone back to his room? ——There wasn’t any bed prepared here, and from the state of his complexion, it was painfully obvious that he hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

Fred dithered on about it. But eventually, he made up his mind, and asked Louis a question.

“Mr Louis. I understand how you feel, but you should still get some rest. If your body breaks down, everything will have been in vain.”

“I believe I told you everything’s fine.”

In contrast to his usual manner, the voice that struck Fred had been exceedingly cold.

It was clear that Louis did not want him to probe any further.

Fred nearly withered after hearing that — but no matter what he did, he couldn’t suppress the burgeoning question within him.

“——Why are you doing so much for just one fish? Didn’t you say it before: that they are just a means to carry out the plan?”

“…………”

Thinking back to his own words, he knew Fred was spot on. But he twisted his lips and looked down, as if he found it difficult to respond. In his lap, his hands were balled into tight fists — perhaps, that question had stirred up a conflict within him.

In the past, Louis and Fred had fallen out in the middle of a mission.

At the time, their task had been to punish the nobles who’d abducted children from the slums and forced them into cruel manhunts. During the operation, they’d been split on whether to help a child whose injured leg had rendered him immobile.

Fred had insisted on helping him, but Louis proposed leaving the child behind, as their objective to murder the noblemen came first. Although Fred knew that he’d said it out of concern for his brother, who was also on the same mission, he still found Louis’s decision rather callous.

In the end, Moran — who was like an older brother to them — stepped in and defused the situation. However, the fact remained that Fred and Louis had nearly clashed over their differences in opinion.

——Louis James Moriarty, was a man who could become as ruthless as necessary for his brother’s sake.

It was a fact that those who worked with the “Lord of Crime” knew all too well.

However, it was precisely because Fred understood his personality, that he was baffled as to why Louis would go so far to devote himself to a mere tropical fish.

It was but one fish out of three. And even if all the angelfish were to die, there were still tens of other species in the aquaria. There were plenty of replacements.

Then, why——.

“Fred. You’re right.”

Still looking down, Louis spoke in a grave, yet clear voice.

“It’s a tool to help my brother get close to his target. There are no further reasons than that. If it were any ordinary fish, I wouldn’t have gotten so invested. And if my brother ordered me to kill all of them right now, I wouldn’t hesitate to do so.”

Fred nodded. But at the same time, those words chilled him to the core. He would’ve done it himself as well, if William told him to — but he couldn’t understand how Louis was able to completely close off his heart to the living things he’d so carefully raised.

“Still……”

Louis tried to continue, but his voice was trembling ever so slightly, and Fred could not hide his astonishment. The man was normally calm and collected; but now, unlike his usual self, it seemed as though quivers of agony were wringing him out from the inside.

Seated on his chair, Louis slowly looked up at the angelfish before him.

“Still, for this one alone—— even though it was done half as a joke, it was given the name ‘William’, and so I must do everything I can for it.”

His voice was filled with determination.

“It pains me to say this, but what you said was true. It’s foolish of me, but I’ve grown attached to a fish that was meant to be nothing more than a tool. Of all things, I’ve ended up projecting the image of my brother onto a fish.”

“Mr Louis……”

He’d laid bare the emotions he had been suppressing with logic, and now, Fred understood just how much he’d been suffering.

——Projecting his own brother, onto an angelfish.

Perhaps, if one didn’t know the brothers’ background, one would find this rather comical. But as someone who shared their ambitions, Fred had no intention of laughing.

Louis devoted himself to their work without batting an eye. But having been with the two brothers until now, Fred was painfully aware that that cold-heartedness was, from another perspective, directly linked to his extraordinary love for William.

In that case, it was only natural that once something was given the name of the brother he so revered, Louis would begin to see it as more than a mere tool.

It was the complete opposite of what Louis had always said and done. But Fred knew that his words were backed by conviction, and thus realised that further persuasion would be futile. In fact, he could even sympathise with that selfless devotion to the fish.

Because to Louis, William James Moriarty was a figure more precious and important than anything else.

But although he understood Louis’s feelings, that didn’t mean the problem was resolved.

“Even so, there isn’t anything else we can……”

Though it was extremely difficult to say, it was also the unassailable truth, and Louis accepted it with bitterness.

“……Indeed. There’s nothing else we can do.”

The strength of one’s feelings alone, could not hope to fight a disease that existed in reality.

It was a cruel truth, and Fred’s expression clouded over. Although he no longer had any intention of stopping Louis, just like this, a wordless silence settled between them once more.

The room was engulfed in a heavy stillness.

“——It sure feels rather gloomy in here. Louis, Fred.”

Then, the voice of that man rang out.

The two of them looked at the entrance, and saw William entering the hall with silent steps.

Looking at his younger brother seated listlessly before the aquarium, William’s voice was mingled with sorrow.

“You don’t seem to be well, Louis. Although this is something I asked you to do, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your own health.”

“Nii-san……”

Louis rose to his feet, in an attempt to explain the current situation; but all he had were useless excuses, and he fell silent.

Instead, Fred stepped forward and tried to defend him.

“N-No, Mr William. He was, trying to help the fish——”

But William raised a hand to stop him.

“Fred, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I haven’t come here to lay blame on Louis; rather, I’m here to give him something important.”

“Eh?”

That was not what he’d been expecting. Puzzled, Fred stood rooted to the spot.

Then, William took a tiny bottle of liquid and a small piece of paper from his breast pocket, then handed them both to Louis.

Needless to say, Louis was perplexed.

“Nii-san……. These are?”

“——Medicine for the fish.”

At those nonchalant words, Louis and Fred were startled. Wide-eyed, they stared at the bottle in Louis’s hand.

“From what I’ve been told, this has been prepared using a solution of malachite green as a base. [1] Adding an appropriate amount of it to the water should do the trick,” William explained simply.

“Did you arrange for this, Mr William?”

A trace of excitement crept into Fred’s expression, and William nodded leisurely.

“I’d anticipated a situation like this, so I requested Herder to develop such a remedy. But because the fish-keeping equipment was the bigger priority, it seems the medicine was completed a little late. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, Louis — these past few days must’ve been difficult for you.”

Hearing that, Fred found himself with a newfound admiration for William’s foresight, as well as Herder’s outstanding technical expertise.

With both hands, Louis clutched the tiny bottle as if it were priceless beyond compare.

“——Thank you so much, nii-san!”

In a pitch-dark situation, he’d now been given a ray of hope. Louis sank into a deep bow, and William responded with a smile full of warmth.

“Also, I have an update on our work: in five days, the fish will all be leaving the mansion.”

Slowly, Louis and Fred’s expressions grew taut.

“I managed to secure a meeting with Stapleton a few days earlier. As planned, he was lured in by the tropical fish, and invited us to his mansion in exchange for us handing them all over to him. After that meeting, I believe I’ll be able to judge if he’s indeed engaged in nefarious acts.”

“Understood,” Louis replied.

“I’ll report back once I obtain the results. Well then, I wish you all the best.”

With those parting words, William left the hall with a dignified air. Louis and Fred thanked him once again, then looked at one another.

Fred smiled. “The fish will surely get better once you use this,” he said.

But in contrast, Louis’s manner was exceedingly calm.

“I wouldn’t be optimistic,” he cautioned. “Since the drug was only just developed, there may be concerns about its quality, and we don’t know for sure if it’ll be effective in treating this particular disease.”

But Fred simply narrowed his eyes, and stared at Louis’s face.

“……What’s the matter?”

Fred pushed the corners of his own mouth up with his fingers.

“You’re smiling.”

“Wha……!”

In an instant, Louis hid his mouth with a hand. No matter how he tried to look unruffled, it seemed he was unable to conceal the sheer delight brimming within him.

“A-Anyway! Since this is something William nii-san and Mr Herder have prepared, let’s use it right away!”

Louis said that in an especially loud voice, in a bid to hide his embarrassment; then, following the instructions on the piece of paper he’d been given, he added the liquid medicine into the tank.

“Now all we can do is hope it’ll work.”

“It’ll be fine, for sure,” Fred said brightly.

For once, Louis did not argue back.

Footnotes:

[1] Malachite green can be used as an antimicrobial in aquaculture (Wikipedia). But it is toxic and potentially carcinogenic(!!), hence it’s been banned for this purpose in many countries today.

[jerakeenc]

many kidfics i’ve read and loved

look who’s reccing a million year old fics now. kidfics, very many. posted to dw for snowflake, thought I’d copy here as well. will be reading most, if not all. if you don’t hear from me again, this list is the culprit.

101 Ways To Get Lucky (In Love) by lenore

18,200 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life…

A Beautiful Lifetime Event by astolat

29,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

An Earlier Heaven by regann

67,400 words | X-Men, Erik/Charles

In the wake of Cuba, Charles and his students are ready to pick up the pieces and work toward achieving Charles's dream of a safe haven for young mutants. Those plans, however, take a surprising turn thanks to a very unexpected complication. As he slowly builds a future for his students and for his child, Charles struggles with the loss of Erik and the secrets he's willing to keep to protect his family, but those strides are shattered when Erik makes a startling reappearance into his life. [mpreg, kidfic, ensemble]

And everything nice by noelia_g

30,200 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

The one where Mark somehow ends up with a child and of course needs a nanny for the amount of time he spends at the office. Only problem is a string of nannys keep trying to get into his pants for what he assumes is his money. Cue Mark's assistant hiring a male nanny, enter Eduardo.

asking to be born by longtime_lurker

26,500 words | Bandom, Pete/Patrick

"Don't worry, it's probably just his big gay freakout," Andy yells cheerfully and unhelpfully into Patrick's ear as they're hustling Pete over to the nearest private clinic.

Better with You by harriet_vane

38,100 words | 1D, Liam/Louis

Based on this prompt at the kinkmeme:

Single parent and solo artist Liam Payne hires Louis Tomlinson to be a full time nanny to his four year old son Sammy. Although the two men don't quite click from the start it's love at first sight between Sammy and Louis. Eventually Louis and Liam warm up to each other and get on like a house on fire, in fact the two become a little too fond of each other.

I refuse to apologize for how sweet this ended up, okay? It's kidfic, I am forever writing kidfic, and this one is even kid-fic-ier than usual.

Can't Get Enough of You (Baby) by eternalbreath

22,100 words | Inception, Arthur/Eames

Eames vanishes from dreamshare and Arthur goes a little crazy looking for him until he stumbles across him -- with a baby.

Chelsea, Chelsea, I Believe by empathapathique

300,800 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.

Don't You Shake Alone by dsudis

62,180 words | Generation Kill, Brad/Nate

Nate looked exactly like Brad always pictured him: exhausted in the full life-in-a-combat-zone sense of the word.

Dude, what's a bulwark? by kellifer_fic

12,150 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

Beacon Hills is the kind of small town where everybody knows everybody, and what everybody knows is that surly diner owner Derek Hale and free spirited single dad Stiles Stilinski have been in love with each other for years. If only they knew it too.

Every Other Beautiful World by rhiannonhero

43,280 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Some things are unexpected but still inevitable in every beautiful world.

Forever, Now by harriet_vane

227,100 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Ryan, Brian/Greta

Brian rescues kid!Gerard and Mikey from life on the streets, and eventually everyone finds a family.

here comes the sun by oflights

56,600 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

This is a story about growing up, sad 70's rock songs, too much hair gel, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", a baby with curly hair, a Geiger counter, a dog that isn't named Max, the Chicken Dance, Cheerios, pepper-spray, drugs, sex, and a stuffed chicken named Cluckerberg, nicknamed Cluck. or: Mark raises Sean's accidental baby, and I write the fluffiest thing ever.

I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn

163,700 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:

Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.

Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.

Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

I Would Be by cathalin

20,290 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

AU. Adam and Kris meet a few years down the road, when down-on-his-luck Kris and his young daughter Katherine show up to rent a room from Adam, who never made it to an Idol audition.

Ice Ice Baby by uraneia

51,340 words | Hockey, Claude/Danny

A gold medal isn't the only souvenir Claude brings home from Prague.

OR: The one where Claude gets drunk, gets pregnant, and gets convinced to move in with Danny, whom he's been secretly in love with for years. What could possibly go wrong?

my heart is bigger than the distance in between us by estrella30

15,000 words | 1D, Nick/Harry

Nick chuckles quietly but grabs the remote and follows Emma, Aimee coming up close behind him. It’s indeed Harry on the telly, singing along to his latest radio hit and smiling slowly into the camera far too seductively for half eight on a Friday morning, if you ask Nick. He presses the volume just in time to catch the crowd’s roaring applause and see the pink flush Harry’s cheeks. Nick watches him duck his head as he gives a small wave to the audience, and it hits Nick that Harry is still the most humble and appreciative billionaire Nick’s ever met.

Good job, popstar, Nick thinks to himself.

or, Nick is a single dad and Harry is his bff and it's a bunch of years into the future and they fall in love

Once Upon a Furry Octopus by skoosiepants

11,270 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.

Reconcilable Differences by astolat

40,000 words | Smallville, Clark/Lex

Luthor Family Values.

Shelter by harriet_vane

63,500 words | Social Network, Jesse/Andrew

From the kinkmeme prompt: Some sort of AU vaguely based on Shelter! For whatever reason, Jesse has to take care of Hallie and give up his dream of being an actor. He ends up working in a dead end job when former, now successful friend (Andrew) returns home. They fall in love, etc, only Jesse can't go away with him because he has a responsibility to his family. CUE ANGST.

Show Me The Way Back Home Baby by stilinskisparkles

15,000 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

In which Lydia and Jackson produce the world's cutest baby, and the pack goes crazy-- the good kind of crazy. Except for Derek, who is afraid of tiny cute babies and Stiles who plans to be the best Uncle ever. Even if Danny called dibs on Godfather.

Skybird by windsweptfic

33,785 words | Inception/White Collar, Arthur/Eames

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

Small Cells and Fibers by sevenfists

7,830 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

Tuesdays were finger-painting days. Frank made sure to wear his oldest pair of jeans, because even with his full-length apron and his constant reminders that paint belongs on paper and not on clothing, he always ended up with tiny, multi-colored handprints all over his clothes. There wasn't a thing he could do about it, so he just wore pants from 1995.

Small Primes and Square Roots by liviapenn

12,500 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."

So Wise We Grow by deastar

81,250 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/Spock

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

Something Better by lovelypoet

18,350 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"We all have to take jobs we don't like sometimes, you know?"

The Next Time You Say Forever by Thistlerose

27,300 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/McCoy

After his ex-wife's death, McCoy is forced to leave the Enterprise to look after his teenage daughter. Under normal circumstances, this would be the end of…whatever it is he has with Kirk that's more than friendship, but less than what he wants. But the universe has other intentions.

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay

15,900 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.

AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe

117,430 words | Hobbit, Thorin/Bilbo

In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End.

He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.

This Story Was Brought to You by Our Sponsors by scaramouche

29,500 words | Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Dean's post-apocalyptic life is a friggin' soap opera. Romance! Angst! Separations! Reunions! Pizza Dinners! A Child Dean Never Knew He Had! It's all very dramatic.

throw a little sparkle all over it by etben

26,000 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"Hey, Ma," Mikey says. "No, everything's fine—well, I mean, Gerard accidentally adopted a baby—no, he's changing her now, he can't talk."

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel

77,130 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Tip, Slide, Tumble by j_s_cavalcante

42,900 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

Ray knew when he found the body in the alley it was going to change someone's life. He just didn't expect that life would be his.

Turn by saras_girl

306,000 words | Harry Potter, Harry/Draco

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Unless it's lies or it's love by sprat

25,300 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

In which Adam (a rock star) meets Kris (a single dad) at an Emergency Room in Arkansas at the end of a particularly shitty night. Also features: San Francisco, fresh starts, baked goods, OCs, cameo appearances by Matt and Megan, pirates, monsters with garbage heads and a recording studio.

What Child Is This by lamardeuse

30,150 words | Merlin, Arthur/Merlin

A modern AU with Merlin, Arthur, mayhem, a baby and a jingly elf hat.

What to Expect by arsenic

29,200 words | Bandom, Bob/Mikey

Mikey has his band, and his little girl, and that's enough. Really, it is.

Winter's Children by neery

66,890 words | Marvel, Bucky/Steve

When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves.

And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

With Six You Get Eggroll by speranza

31,000 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

"Kick 'em In The Head: A Guide To Parenting."

ETA: Bonus! Because I apparently lost my bookmark for this one but have the memory of an elephant for kidfic, so it came to me eventually. :D

A Farm in Iowa 'Verse by sheafrotherdon

166,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

John inherits a farm, Rodney ends up entirely out of his element, and there is much ado about baseball.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 2/2

Part 1 | Part 2

[Brody and the basement scene]

“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're gonna be okay, I promise. Goddamn it, help! Why did you say that, Brody? I...I told you not to say it. Please be okay...”

Okay... here’s where the glass shatters, Marlon becomes the episode’s antagonist, and I wish there was an option to just stay in bed.

Up to this point, Marlon’s been sincerely kind, stubborn, sometimes a little agitated, but overall? A decent guy. There are flaws with his leadership and not everyone likes him, but that comes with the territory, yeah? 

He wants to keep Ericson safe, he saved Clementine and AJ’s lives, he loves Rosie, he’s Louis’ best friend- what reason do I have not to trust him?

I was rooting for you, Marlon. The first time I played, I was team Marlon.... until we got back to the school after the incident with Abel at the train station. 

Brody’s freaking out, and Marlon comes over... and the unsettling feelings starting creeping up when he grabs Brody’s arm and she shoves him down. 

The first time I played, I had the gut feeling that she wasn’t overreacting like Marlon claimed she was and this is when I started to actually doubt him. I was still rooting for him, like maybe it’s just a misunderstanding and the game wants me to question Marlon, but he’s not the real issue. Y’know... a fake out.

Then I heard his voice in the pipes and... oh boy. 

Marlon, my guy, you hurt me. 

But not as bad as you hurt Brody.

Okay, let’s do this- Marlon and Brody. Start from the beginning with their relationship and how we got to the basement scene. 

One thing you’ll notice back when I was talking about Aasim is how quick Brody is to snap “Be nice, Aasim” after he gets agitated with Marlon. Then, we see the two of them sitting together on the steps during the “HELP AJ MAKE FRIENDS” segment. There’s no conversation you can overhear or anything, but you get the impression that Brody is supportive of Marlon. 

I mean... why else would she be so quick to tell Aasim to be nice... right?

Except no, we already know that these two are so close because of what happened with the twins. But if you don’t know that, then obviously this seems like nothing. 

Though interesting to point out that people assumed Marlon and Brody were a thing based on this little tidbit, an idea that a lot of people theorize about. Hell, I believe even Kent said they might’ve had something going, albeit something unhealthy. There isn’t any evidence of a previous romantic relationship in the game, just a speculation amongst players that can add some even darker tones to their problematic relationship.

So, Brody and Marlon chat before dinner, AJ comes over and apologizes, Marlon is once again super chill and sweet to AJ and it’s great. I love the way he handles AJ.

Marlon and Brody even have a little moment where they look at each other, silent conversation and all, before he accepts the apology. Hmm. 

We don’t get to chat with Brody again until after the office scene if you choose to go fishing, and here’s where I start theorizing about Brody’s true reasons for wanting to go on a road trip.

Obviously, the whole Brody and Violet thing is what’s at focus for this scene- do you help Violet forgive Brody or not, but the whole time outside of that, Brody is very focused on another idea- taking a road trip. 

“I've lived here my entire life. Heck, I'd say I know every inch of these woods. I'd kind of like to un-know it. “

And while you can easily look at this as “Oh, Brody’s just a dreamer, she wants to go on a road trip with all her friends and explore somewhere new. So what?” allow me to put on my tinfoil hat and look too much into it. 

Brody wants to escape Marlon, the situation they got themselves into, and leave the guilt behind. Hop in a truck, leave Ericson and the place she and Marlon traded away their friends at, leave Marlon behind, and start somewhere new where she can pretend everything’s okay. Escape the anxiety and trauma.  

Just to clarify, I don’t think Brody would just up and abandon everyone to go on a road trip or anything, this is just something she fantasized and talks about wistfully. Which is fair- if it’s the apocalypse, I’m going to have fantasies like that to escape and help maintain my sanity, too. It’s a way of coping. 

The reason I say she wants to get away from Marlon is that he appears to be the driving force behind her being quiet. Though I do think we tend to gloss over the fact that Brody was indeed there and she could’ve come clean about the twins prior to Clementine and AJ’s arrival due to her murder. 

Sure, I don’t doubt Marlon told her to be quiet, that he’d figure something out... but when his decision was to keep it a secret and move on with their lives, Brody agreed. We don’t know what it took for her to agree, though. That’s the thing.

Maybe Marlon convinced her, maybe he threatened her, and maybe she agreed all by herself. 

We don’t know. She never got to tell us. 

But going off of what I’ve seen of Brody and her behavior towards Marlon in Done Running, I’m more inclined to believe that she was willing to agree because, just like Marlon, she had that guilt weighing on her shoulders. She couldn’t stop what happened, and she had no choice but to go along with it. 

She was there with Marlon when the twins were taken away. She was the one who broke the news to Violet and that had to be so damn hard all by itself, y’know... having to lie to her face about it. She helped Tenn, the twins’ little brother, take down Sophie’s paintings and clean out their dorm. 

She and Marlon stood side by side, kept quiet and watched everyone mourn the deaths of Sophie and Minerva, all while knowing what really happened. Neither of them came clean for their own reasons. 

That kind of shit will destroy your insides and drive you mad, which is what we see down in the basement. These are two broken partners in crime who are seconds away from snapping. They’re stuck, they’re overwhelmed, they can’t agree on anything, they’re arguing and getting physically upset with one another. They’ve turned into worse versions of themselves because of this. 

Marlon is no longer the chill, kind, genuine guy I praised in the beginning of this, and Brody isn’t the sweet, friendly dreamer who wanted to take a road trip with her friends. 

Marlon is angry, scared, and lashing out. Brody is an anxious mess.

And they kind of hate each other.

It’s horrible. It breaks my heart. 

And thinking about what happened the day they got themselves into this disaster... maybe Brody did protest in the beginning before Marlon convinced her that the best thing to do was be quiet and move on, that maybe they’ll never come back and this was the only thing they could do for the best interest of the group, and she agreed. 

Maybe she went into a full blown panic attack that Marlon helped her work through all while dealing with his own emotions and that, in a twisted way, brought them closer. 

We don’t know. 

But you’d think that if she so easily spilled everything to Clementine, that she would’ve eventually broke down and told everyone else, too... yeah? That Marlon would’ve pushed her far enough that she slipped. 

To that you can argue that it was the fact that Abel and his people were back that set her off, seeing that it was happening all over again and she refused to go through that. Then, when Marlon says he has a plan, that they’ll use Clementine and AJ, that was the final nail in the coffin that sets her mind to confessing. Clementine just happened to come down and Brody took the opportunity. 

The thing is... Brody had to be feeling to same way Marlon was- ashamed, guilty, heartbroken, traumatized, terrified, and so many overwhelming emotions. I think she knew what would happen if they came clean and that scared her.

She wanted to be friends with Violet again, the way they used to be- “We all used to be friends. Guess I just kinda miss that.“ and if Violet’s distanced not knowing the truth now? Imagine what she would’ve been like if Brody came clean. 

Same goes for the rest of the crew. 

Marlon gets a lot of the blame for what happened, which is totally fair and justified, but like I said, we gloss over that Brody was there as well. I just wish we had more context as to how they handled it at the beginning as that would give such a great insight to Marlon and his growth [or decline] over the year prior to TFS. 

And y’know... I think it was a blessing and a curse to have someone in on the secret. He has someone to talk about it to so he doesn’t feel as alone... but that comes with the constant worry of “what is she confesses?” and that’s where I think Marlon turned to intimidation out of his own fears and insecurities, which put a huge strain on his and Brody’s relationship, as well as their mental health.

It doesn’t help that it seems Brody has issues with anxiety and panic attacks going off what we saw in Done Running. 

Moving on to the beginning of the red flags with Marlon... let’s look at their conversations after Clementine and crew get back after the deal with the train station. 

Right as we enter, we hear them in the middle of this-

Brody: “You are not listening to me. Marlon, listen to me- I'm telling you, the place was ransacked!”

Marlon: “It's fine. We'll deal with it.”

Who knows how long this conversation has gone on... and once again, Marlon isn’t listening. Hell, Brody is flat out saying he’s not listening. If this wasn’t alarming enough, Brody goes off on Clementine upon learning Abel’s fate and Marlon rushes in... probably to make sure she doesn’t say anything he doesn’t want her to. 

Brody: “I just can't... I won't... just not again... fuck!”

Marlon: “What the hell's going on here?”

Brody: “She took them outside the safe zone... They saw someone! You know what that means-!”

Marlon: “Enough! It just means there's a hungry guy out there looking for food. It's happened before. You are overreacting.”

Brody: “You can't be serious!”

[Marlon grabs her arm]

Marlon: “Come on, let's go somewhere and talk about this.”

So... yikes. 

It’s that arm grab, man. That set off some alarm bells. It happens super quick before it cuts back and Brody shoves him so hard, he falls to the ground. Which takes a lot of force. Then Brody turns the blame on Clementine, which is interesting. 

None of that is great. But Marlon gets up and you can feel how exasperated and stressed he is that Brody made that scene and that Clementine took Louis and Violet outside the safe zone. He’s just learned that Abel is back, Brody is cracking, and it’s the calm before the storm.

It’s worth noting that even though he’s clearly upset, he’s still holding onto to this “I’m the leader, I know I asked you for help and you did, it’s fine, we’ll be eating for a while. It’s fine. I’ll go talk to Brody, go eat. Everything is fine.” 

Giving off the appearance that everything’s okay. Nothing wrong, Brody’s just paranoid. It’s fine. 

And if you’re like me, you said, “Hmmmmm... I have bad feelings.”

Though, I’d like to add that I also like that he admits that he always worries if Clementine tells him he doesn’t have to. A bit of vulnerability slipping through. So that’s it, right? He’s just worried. 

Well... that’s not wrong, but... 

Also, Marlon tells Brody she’s overreacting quite a bit and I bet that’s something he’s said to her plenty in the past. It’s just.. ugh. 

Okay, time for the fun part. 

As we all know, Clementine and AJ are woken up by voices in the pipes. They belong to Marlon and Brody as they’re having an argument down in the basement. 

What’s really sad is that they’re the only ones who seemingly notice. Clementine’s the only one who bothered to get out of bed and see what the hell was going on. Which makes me think that this isn’t the first time they’ve fought like this, so the rest of the Ericson crew just ignore it.

Which is pretty fucked up. You’d think that someone would hear it and go down there to at least tell them to knock it off. 

You could argue that maybe only Clementine and AJ could hear it because they’re closer to the basement door, which is fair. But there are other rooms in that hallway that are close enough, so unless those rooms are all empty... someone else had to of heard something. 

Hell, they all hear Marlon and AJ yelling at each other in a thunderstorm outside... why not hear this? 

In order for me to go over the entire basement conversation, we all gotta be up to speed. The conversation is below but if you want to hear the voice acting, you can watch this video here.

Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”

Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”

Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”

Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it! ...Let me go!”

Marlon: “Hey, calm down.”

Brody: “Don't tell me to calm down! You can't do this! You can't just-ahh!... Please...please! If we just tell everyone what's goin' on, maybe we can-”

Marlon: “I said shut up!”

[it’s implied Marlon does something here... grabs her, pushes her, hits her... there are no other sounds in the video but it’s not good. You can hear it in both their voices and “I said shut up!” is exactly what he says before he hits her with the flashlight later soo...]

Marlon: “Shit, shit. Brody, are you okay?”

Brody: “Fuck you. ...There's got to be some other way.”

Marlon: “There is no other way. Goddamn it, so few of us left... What else would you have me do?”

Brody: “Something! There's got to be something.”

Marlon: “No, no, no, there's nothing. Nothing, Brody!”

Brody: “That can't be true!”

Marlon: “You know, maybe...maybe it doesn't matter. It probably doesn't matter at all. It's just a couple of cigarettes. I mean... Just one fucking guy! This is an insurance policy.”

[insurance policy = Clementine and AJ. Nice, Marlon. Also his denial and inability to listen is super prominent here.]

Brody: “An insurance policy? These are fucking people, Marlon!”

Marlon: “I know that! Fuck, I know that. ...You are overreacting. I'm telling you!”

Brody: “What if I'm not?”

Marlon: “No, you are. So knock it the fuck off, Brody.”

Brody: “You knock it the fuck off! You are unbelievable! You fucking coward!”

Marlon: “Hey, HEY! We are in this together. You will not put this all on me! ...Damn it, Brody! We don't even know for sure it was them!”

Brody: “You know he's not alone. Those bastards are back and it's only a matter of time before they find us. You know that!”

Marlon: “I don't know shit, and neither do you! Goddamn it, Brody, keep it together!”

Brody: ‘There you go again, getting so mad.”.

Marlon: “Well, what do you want me to do? You're making me mad!”

Brody: “Oh, we have to tell the others! About what you did!”

It’s not a fun conversation. At all. I hate it, even if the voice acting is terrific.

So here’s the thing about this conversation... Marlon is stuck. He’s refusing to see any other way of handling the raiders return because what else is there to do? Fight them off? We know that’s something Marlon doesn’t want to do for a number of reasons- he’d have to come clean, he’d have to develop a plan of attack, he’d risk everyone at the school- so in his mind, being quiet and keeping Clementine and AJ as “insurance” is the best course of action to keep the others safe. 

But then there’s Brody. She’s had enough and you can tell that it’s all become too much for her. She just wants to come clean and face the consequences, she wants Marlon to own up to what happened, and she’s willing to face his anger and call him out on it. It gets to the point where she starts to plead that they have to tell the others. 

The more and more she goes on, the angrier Marlon gets. All his shame, grief, stress, and anger have became a dangerous cocktail that causes him to lash out. 

And he fucking does. That part where he tells her to shut up then there’s this dead pause? Then his voice breaks as he apologizes and asks if she’s okay? Followed by Brody’s “fuck you.”? 

Their fight has become physical now. It’s not just them yelling at each other, and while I want to give Marlon the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he grabbed her like he did before which isn’t great either but fucking hell, that’s not what it sounds like. He hit or pushed her or something and... God damn it, Marlon. That’s inexcusable and it makes me question if he’s ever gotten physical with her before. Especially since Brody continues the conversation like it’s happened before....

God, I miss when Marlon was chill and sweet. Remember when he helped Clementine with Rosie? I do... Can we go back to that?

...Anyway, this whole conversation sucks and it gets worse. Marlon is a hair away from melt down and Brody is becoming desperate for him to listen to her. 

So when Clementine comes down, everything comes to a head.

And at first, you think think that maybe Clementine can calm the situation, defuse it. But then Marlon goes into defensive “everything’s fine” mode, telling Clementine there’s nothing to worry about and to go back to bed. 

Take note of his hard tone here, too. He’s doing that dominating tone, but elevated from when he used it before. He shines the light in Clementine’s face and says, “Brody and I were just talkin', go get some sleep. You deserve some shut-eye. You had a busy day.” In hopes that she’ll be intimidated and cooperate but... well, Clementine isn’t and doesn’t.

And Brody seizes the opportunity. 

Brody: “The man you met at the station. We got history.”

Marlon: “Brody... Don't listen to her, Clem, she's acting crazy. She gets this way sometimes, you just gotta tune it out.”

The desperation in Marlon’s voice here is just... ugh. Trying so hard to discredit Brody and take control back of the situation. 

That’s what it all comes back to, isn’t it? Marlon’s control. He knows Brody’s slipping and no matter what he does or says, he can’t regain his control over her and the situation. Clementine is threatening that and it’s spiking his anger. 

We all know what happens next. 

Brody: “Marlon let him take the twins. Him and his people.”

Marlon: “Damn it, Brody!”

Clementine: “Tenn's sisters? I thought they were killed by walkers.”

Brody: “That's the story we told everyone.’

Marlon: “Shut up.”

Brody: “'Cause Marlon was so ashamed of what-”

Marlon: “I said SHUT UP!”

Marlon loses control, hits Brody with his flashlight so hard that it kills her, and realization of how badly fucked up he’s become dawns on him.

Yeah, Marlon... Brody’s bleeding out on the floor because of you, because you were so desperate to keep control and hide your shame from everyone, and this is what it manifested into. 

Yet, he tries to rationalize it like it’s not his fault. He’s in denial. He told her not to say it, and she did. But it’s okay, she’s going to be okay.

Which is fucked, but at this point, Marlon’s in a full blown panic - “Oh, shit, Brody. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're gonna be okay, I promise. Goddamn it, help! Why did you say that, Brody? I...I told you not to say it. Please be okay.” He’s all over the place and doesn’t know what to do. 

And it gets worse. 

Because Marlon’s in such a panic, brain scattered with a shit ton of horrifying thoughts- “What do I tell everyone? Brody’s dead and I killed her. How will everyone look at me? I betrayed them. I betrayed all of them. The raiders are coming back. Clementine knows the truth. What do I do? I can’t let them know. I can’t tell the truth because they will see me for what I really am.”  -when he hears Brody tell Clementine everything, he once again does something shitty to save himself. He runs and locks Clementine in the basement, knowing that Brody’s going to turn. 

Clementine: “Marlon, you son of a bitch, don't do this!”

Marlon: “I'm sorry... I can't...I can't let you talk to the others.”

So... what does this entire scene tell us about Marlon?

Well, first off, I shouldn’t trust someone just because they love dogs. That’s on me. 

This is where Marlon goes from friend to foe and it’s a lot to take in. This scene is the reason people question Marlon’s real motivations, question whether or not he was ever good if he had it in him to murder Brody in order to keep her quiet.

But that’s the thing, when you watch this scene, you can tell that Marlon didn’t mean to kill her. In a fit of anger, he didn’t know his own strength and lashed out and she died because of it. He should still be held accountable for it, even if it was an accident. But because he’s holding on to whatever he can, he refuses to take accountability, choosing to then leave Clementine for death and pin everything on her. 

He has no plan after that, he just knows that he has to regain control over everything or else he’s done. He doesn’t have time to mourn Brody or come to terms with what he had done because he’s moving so fast to “fix” everything, y’know? 

What Marlon did down here was inexcusable. I can do my best to explain what lead Marlon to this point and why he did what he did, but that doesn’t justify anything. 

Now... before I move on to talk about the confrontation scene, there is one more important character in Marlon’s life to cover.

[Louis and a broken friendship]

“I hope you know Louis didn't mean any harm there. He's just the world's biggest dumbass. He's my best friend, so I can legally call him that.”

Where to even begin? 

From the beginning, I guess. 

Louis and Marlon have known each other for years, back before the walkers came and the world ended. We know this because of the photo in Marlon’s office and how everyone tells us that they’re best friends. 

And it’s funny that they’re such best friends but the game doesn’t care much to show us that, or even go into details about their relationship. Which, in my opinion, was a bit of a failure on the writers part. I know you probably didn’t have time and all the usual reasons, but you’d think that this relationship would be important enough to cover just a tad bit more considering that Louis is a potential love interest and Marlon’s the antagonist. 

Y’know?

The only times Marlon and Louis actually interact with one another for more than two seconds is during the card game and during the confrontation, and even that is slim if you choose to appeal to Violet. 

But like, no guys, they’re super best friends. Trust us, we told you, like, twice. 

I hate to get into the Louis vs Violet thing since this is about Marlon, but let me explain why this bothers me. 

They didn’t have any issues letting Violet spill her guts about her past with the twins, specifically Minerva. Now, the twins are considered dead at this point, so it’s not like they could show them interacting, so they get a pass for the show rather than telling. Except they do show that Violet and Minerva were girlfriends when you go fishing and look at the initials on the wall. 

I’m not saying that this isn’t important. It is. I explained why it’s important to Marlon’s character previously, too. 

But this is when we run into a problem with what they decided to do with Louis- Louis doesn’t tell us jack shit about his relationship with Marlon in Done Running prior to appealing to him during the confrontation. All I ask is why not? 

Look, to be frank, the picture is nice and all, but it’s not enough. Marlon saying “Oh yeah, muh best friend,” once isn’t enough. You barely scraped by with what you gave us. 

Louis doesn’t tell us anything about his past, at least nothing important to the plot. When Aasim makes a comment about him being Marlon’s lap dog, Louis brushes it off with a joke, and never mentions Marlon again. The only time Louis actually lets us in is if you take care of the walker with him and he explains his way of thinking before realizing he let his guard down and puts the mask back on. 

Louis isn’t willing to share anything about his friendship with Marlon but Violet’s over here super willing to open up about the twins and Brody? That’s hilarious because you’d think it’d be the other way around. 

You’d think that they’d have Louis saying something about Marlon to show us that he has a blind faith in Marlon or trusts him to a fault. He can see that Aasim doesn’t get along with Marlon and questions his leadership, so why not have him say something in defense of Marlon? 

And perhaps it’s on purpose. Maybe Louis’ trust in Marlon is so great that he doesn’t feel the need to defend him because he knows how Aasim gets. They have plenty of other stuff to argue about, why add another thing? Fine, that makes sense... but why not have him say something to Clementine? Hell, have Clementine ask him about Marlon and the safe zone and what he thinks about it?

Like when Clementine’s all “Hey, let’s go to the train station.”

Louis just stands there like “’kay,” without any indication of “Yeah Marlon wouldn’t like that.”

...Maybe he doesn’t care? Who knows. 

I’m just saying, they would’ve benefited from adding a conversation with Louis about Marlon so that we could get his perspective of their relationship BEFORE the confrontation rather than waiting until ep2 for him to give us some details. 

But, like, it’s fine... I’ll just work with what I got. 

There isn’t too much to say about them during the card game. They’re chill, they’re buddies. Louis does this cute whistle that Marlon bobs his head to and that’s pretty neat. 

After Louis asks Clementine if she ever had to kill someone she loved and the game ends, Marlon goes to make sure Clementine’s okay and let her know that Louis didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, he’s just a dumbass.

But it’s fine, they’re best friends so he can legally call him that. This is the first time we see Marlon say something like that about Louis, the second time being in the office. He’ll admit that he hopes Louis will actually show up to go hunting, which says a lot about the amount of faith he puts into Louis. 

Which is interesting to think about how one-sided their friendship can seem when you start putting pieces together. Louis has complete faith in Marlon but Marlon doesn’t return that faith due to the fact that he knows Louis runs on his own time, y’know? Louis appears to be honest while Marlon is dishonest.

Knowing how Marlon is and his need for control, you’d think that he’d be more stern with Louis. He’s like that with everyone else... until you remember that Marlon has a soft spot for Louis. One that allows him to take control in a different way. 

I can’t help but feel Marlon had this sense of entitlement to Louis as his best friend. Marlon’s been Louis’ friend the longest, Marlon is the only one who can call Louis an idiot, Marlon gives Louis special treatment in many ways that others notice, Marlon knows Louis better than anyone else does. Marlon loves Louis like he’s his own blood. 

And if you know anything about Louis and his character, you know a big part of his arc is confidence and self-esteem. I mean, real self-esteem, not the persona he puts on. Looking back at everything we’ve covered, it’s not out of the question to think that Marlon could’ve used that part of Louis to his advantage. He’s Louis’ best friend, Louis can trust him because Marlon’s always had his back, always appeared to see beyond the jokes and piano because they’ve know each other longest. They’re practically brothers. 

Having that control over Louis is important to Marlon, and while that seems like a slimy way to put it, it’s true. I don’t think Marlon ever saw Louis as a pawn or anything- I believe Marlon genuinely cared about and loved Louis- but when it came to the twins, he didn’t confide him. Marlon didn’t want to lose the closest connection he had, the one person who couldn’t see him for who he turned into, and he didn’t want Louis to tell everyone else. 

There ya go- yet another layer of guilt and shame for Marlon. 

Not only that, but Marlon didn’t have much confidence in him, found him irresponsible. He had to deal with the fact that he still loved Louis while acknowledging that he’s not reliable. 

That brings us to when Clementine appeals to Louis. 

Here’s where Marlon becomes a cocky bastard. 

Clementine: “Louis, don't let him do this!”

Louis: “Oh, no. I am not involved.”

Clementine: “What?”

Louis: “I like you, Clem, but I...”

[Louis looks to Marlon, who gives him an intimidating look back that shuts Louis down. There’s the control.]

Louis: “Not me. I'm sorry. You're, uh, on your own. Sorry.”

And Marlon’s face...? He’s so smug I could slap him. He looks at Clementine like “Oh, you thought Louis was gonna help you, huh? HA! My best friend, dingus.”

What’s funny is that in all my searching through reddit and youtube and what have you, a lot of people complain that Louis is “harder” to get to side with you. Which, technically, no he’s not. Both he and Violet require you to pick two dialogue choices before they help. Louis only appears harder because Marlon intimidates him into being quiet and that makes it seem like he won’t help you. 

Though, to be fair, he does attempt to step in after Clementine pleads with him the first time.

“Shit. Marlon, come on, man. Drop the gun.”

And Marlon really doesn’t like that. 

He snaps out Louis’ name and you see Louis visibly flinch at this. Either this is the first time Marlon’s risen his voice at him like this or it’s not, it’s hard to tell. 

“She. Killed. Brody! We can't let her walk away.” 

Funny how he says we there...

You can feel how conflicted Louis is here, just like how you can feel Marlon’s control and manipulation at play. Louis wants to believe Marlon, but he’s out here with blood all over his face and waving a gun around. He’s about to shoot Clementine, and that will make him a murderer no matter how you look at it and Louis knows this. 

He’s looking at a version of his best friend that he doesn’t recognize, but because he’s scared, it makes Louis backtrack and curl into himself. 

“Clem, I... I... I gotta trust Marlon. I just... I gotta. I always have.”

Here, you have two choices:

“He didn't trust you with the truth! He lied to you about the twins. He doesn't deserve your trust.”

Or

“Brody trusted him. And now she's dead. And he killed her!”

Personally, I prefer the first one, but both of these strike a nerve within Louis. He knows she’s right. 

Marlon yells at Clementine and gets ready to shoot her, which she accepts by the way she steps back and closes her eyes. 

Louis, with both hands up, slowly steps between them, free of Marlon’s control and trying to save both him and Clementine. 

Marlon, baffled that he’d ever do this, even moves the gun away as he stares at Louis in disbelief. 

Marlon: “You don't know what you're doing, man!”

Louis: “C'mon, dude, just drop the gun. This is how adults do things. Not us.”

Can I just say that Marlon must feel so fucking powerless seeing Louis step up to him like this? Like, with Violet he’s not surprised and not even remotely intimidated by her little meat cleaver, but with Louis? He is not okay. 

The others step forward and Marlon knows that he’s lost. Pointing a gun at his best friend? Knowing that if he so much as accidentally squeezed the trigger, Louis would be dead? Everyone has turned against him. 

Not great. 

You guys know me, you know that I much prefer appealing to Louis over Violet because of the power behind this and how much of an effect it has on Marlon. It’s perfectly executed. 

A couple more things to talk about regarding this scene. If you call Marlon pathetic, he says something interesting to Louis. 

Clementine: “You're pathetic.”

[Marlon drops his gun]

Marlon: “I know. Always was.”

Louis: “That isn't true.”

Marlon: “No, Louis, it is. You were just the only one who couldn't see it.”

When I say my heart hurts... muh heart hurts. Because this is what their friendship became, they both realize it, and Louis is devastated. 

On the flip side, if you say- 

Clementine: “We can still fix this, Marlon. It's going to be okay. We can make this right.”

Louis: “We'll help you. We're all family here. The only one any of us has left.”

Which shows that despite everything, Louis does have a little bit of faith left in Marlon and wants to help him, which Marlon feels he doesn’t deserve.

Then AJ shoots Marlon in the head.

And I really, really wish there was an option to just stay in bed to avoid all of this.

Okay.

Louis is a fucking mess after this. 

The writers finally said, “Hey, remember when Luke had absolutely no reaction to his best friend’s death in s2? What if we don’t do that this time?”

I don’t want to get too into this because this isn’t a Louis analysis, but let me quickly summarize the affect Marlon’s death had on Louis.

Anyone who was around when Suffer the Children came out remembers all the discourse about Louis. Lot of people pissed at him for being upset. Which fine, you’re allowed to be upset with him because he’s mad at Clementine and AJ, but let me remind you that he just witnessed his best friend of 8+ years being  murdered right before his eyes after no longer being a threat and he was powerless to do anything about it.

Marlon’s death hurt and traumatized Louis in so many ways and that’s something we see throughout the episode. Even though Marlon is dead, he continues to have an effect on Louis and everyone at Ericson because of what he did and how he died. 

And to clarify, Louis never hated Clementine and AJ for what happened. He just didn’t know what to do. He was overwhelmed, hurt, pissed, and never had time to mourn before raiders came knocking on their doors. He dealt with the fact that his best friend wasn’t who he thought he was and how Marlon hurt everyone at this school, that Marlon was a murderer. 

That’s a fucking lot. 

And it continues to hurt him through the rest of the season. 

Honestly, Louis says everything best:

“You sound like Marlon. I mean, not about fighting, but when he was trying to cheer us all up. For years, I sat around making stupid jokes, playing stupid games, while my best friend was left with all the responsibility. All the tough calls. All the sleepless nights. And eventually, a bullet in the head. And I didn't do a damn thing about it. And then, when you tried to tell us what he was really like, and AJ shot him, I blamed you. Both of you. If I could take it back, I would. I knew that the day you got back. I still do. ...He was my best friend. Almost like my brother, but the things he did? They were fucked up. I'll never be glad he died. But I understand why AJ thought it was the right thing to do.” 

[The final confrontation and Marlon’s murder]

“I know I betrayed you... all of you. Just let me leave. You'll never have to see me again. Just let me become...a bad memory. Just give me that. Please.”

The final confrontation is my favorite Marlon moment from a storytelling standpoint.

Just... everything about it. The thunderstorm, the voice acting, Marlon’s complete turn to antagonist and break down, Clementine appealing to Louis/Violet, Rosie barking in the background... it’s just great. It hurts but I love it. 

This is where we see Marlon’s manipulation at it’s peak. He knows he’s fucked, but is still so desperate to cling on that he throws everything he can at Clementine. He accuses her of murdering Brody, working with the raiders, takes low blows against everyone, especially Louis and Violet, and goes as far as to point a gun at Clementine with the intention of shooting her. 

Because that’ll fix everything... I guess? 

Marlon didn’t think this through. 

Anyway...

“We saved their lives when anyone else would've kept walking! We fed them, we kept them warm! And this is how they thank us?! Guns being pulled and murder! Well, FUCK! THEM!”

Marlon is broken, his last resort it to try and salvage himself, to win the group’s favor.

“Aw, come the fuck on! They only met up with these ‘raiders’ because Clem insisted they go out there. Quite the coincidence, isn't it? Shame I don't believe in those. Think about how scared we all were when the adults left. I pulled us out of that fear. I gave us all courage again. Who are y'all gonna believe, huh? Johnny-come-lately and her little fucking lunatic? Or me? Your friend?”

He’s pulling out the big guns, reminding everyone that he was the one who pulled them out of their fear and gave them courage, that he’s their friend who they’ve known and trusted for 8+ years while they just met Clementine two days ago.

Who are you going to believe?

As well all know, Clementine takes a risk and appeals to Louis or Violet. I already covered them so we’ll skip ahead to everyone turning on him. 

This is when Marlon realizes he’s losing and that anger bubbles up. 

“You don't get it. You- you don't understand at all, do you? I'm trying to protect you! All of you! Every fucking one of you!”

And he lashes out, pointing the gun at everyone now, and finally... the truth comes out. 

“...I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”

...Yikes. 

Now, I’ve talked about this scene in previous parts, said most of what I wanted to say, but there is one thing I haven’t covered, and that’s Tenn. 

Tenn: “You told me they died!”

Marlon: “I had to save the rest of you, okay?”

Tenn: “You gave my sisters away. Why would you do something like that? I trusted you, Marlon! THEY trusted you! ....We all trusted you...”

Marlon: “I know... I know..”

Tenn was first introduced along side Marlon and you can tell that he cares about him and is protective. Not only that, but Tenn is comfortable enough to play in Marlon’s office, which is something I assume he does regularly. 

It makes me think that Marlon took Tenn under his wing, if you will, after the twins died. Perhaps as some way to try and make himself better, maybe to try and make it up to the twins by swearing to protect him. 

Tenn is what gets Marlon to take it down a bit, to explain that he didn’t want to hurt the twins, he just didn’t have any choice. He even admits to Tenn that he was too scared to develop a rescue plan. 

You can hear it in his voice when he looks to Tenn and speaks, and Tenn is the one who gets him to confess that he was the one who killed Brody, not Clementine. 

Marlon: “I wanted to get them. Stage some kind of rescue. Honest, Tenn. I just couldn't. I was...I was too afraid.”

Tenn: “You killed Brody because she knew?”

Marlon: “Mm-hmm... I didn't mean to. I didn't want this. I wanted to save all of you. Sophie, Minerva. I didn't want to hurt them.”

Which is huge. It wasn’t Clementine, it wasn’t Louis or Violet who got him to confess, it was Tenn. Hearing this boy on the verge of tears tell Marlon that they all trusted him, how could he do this to them... that got through to him. 

And I believe Tenn is the one who solidified that Marlon wanted to leave. He didn’t want to stay and see everyone look and treat him differently, see everyone hate him- He couldn’t face Louis, his best friend. He couldn’t face Violet, the girl he betrayed. He couldn’t face Clementine and AJ, couldn’t face everyone he tried to protect. 

And he couldn’t face Tenn. 

But you know what says a lot about Tenn? If you choose to remain silent after Marlon says he didn’t want to hurt them, he says:

“I forgive you.”

[?] Marlon won’t forget that. 

But even with that forgiveness? I don’t Marlon believes he deserves that, especially from Tenn. He grateful Tenn forgave him, but he still feels it’s best that he leaves.

“I know I betrayed you. All of you. Just let me leave. You'll never have to see me again. Just let me become...a bad memory. Just give me that. Please.” 

And we all know what happens next. 

So... this begs the question... after everything that Marlon did and didn’t do...

Did Marlon deserve his fate?

No.

Marlon didn’t deserve this. That’s the short answer. 

In my opinion, AJ was far from justified in what he did. 

This is a good time to compare Marlon and Lilly, since that comes up quite a bit. When Lilly surrenders at the end of Broken Toys, she does it to manipulate the situation in her favor and get the upper hand again. 

The second you show any sort of kindness towards Lilly, she takes advantage of you because she never saw the error in her ways. She believed every cruel thing she ever did was for a good cause and only ever feels remorse when she loses everyone. 

Marlon, on the other hand, genuinely surrendered. This was the first time he gave up his control and accepted what he had done, ready to face the consequences and be outcast from Ericson for his crimes. He dropped his weapon, he was no longer a threat. Marlon no longer had any malicious intent once everyone turned against him. 

And the biggest difference between Marlon and Lilly is that Marlon felt that shame since the beginning. He did bad things for the sake of Ericson, but not once did he take pride in what he did to the twins or Brody. He felt nothing but remorse.

Brody’s dead, Sophie and Minerva are gone, and he realizes what he’s become.

The tragedy of Marlon is that his fate was decided by a child who was unable to read the situation for what it was, who took it upon themselves to take Marlon’s life despite the fact that everything was over. Marlon never gets a redemption arc, and maybe he didn’t deserve one. It depends on how you feel.

But for me, he definitely didn’t deserve to be shot in the back of the head like that.  

[Final thoughts]

“...It's hard to survive too long these days without being a bit... ‘troubled.’”

Marlon is... complicated. 

That’s a good word. 

On one hand, he does have some genuine moments where he’s a chill dude looking out for his family and there’s a lot to like about him, but on the other hand... he did a lot of bad shit. 

If I had to pick a “problematic fav” within TFS, Marlon would be it. 

Like I mentioned previously, I wish we had more interactions with him and Louis, but we did get enough to get the point across. 

As for Marlon’s backstory and why he was sent to Ericson, it’s never stated and none of the creators have come forward with information. My theory? That’s a great question. 

Most are inclined to believe that he’s there due to anger and behavior problems, but for all we know, that stuff developed over time since I don’t know if someone like that would be put in a leader position. Or maybe it is and he forced himself in, I dunno. 

My guess is that it’s something we’d never expect. I don’t know if I have a theory because, well, I don’t exactly feel qualified to diagnose Marlon with something I haven’t done a shit ton of research on, y’know? 

Even after writing this and looking through everything... I couldn’t tell you. 

I find Marlon to be a compelling character that I wish stuck around longer. He’s an example of a kid who grew up too fast with the lives of his whole community on his shoulders. He was faced with a no-win situation and suffered with every decision made. His desire to control everything around him, to ground him, led to his downfall. 

In the end, Marlon expressed sincere guilt for what he did. Apologizing doesn’t magically make everything he did okay, far from it, but it was a step in the right direction. I wish he had the chance at some kind of redemption, but it’s The Walking Dead. Not everyone gets a redemption arc, most get theirs torn from their grasp. Marlon is one of those people. 

He had a lot of good qualities that were severely overshadowed by his final moments. I believe he genuinely cared about Ericson and believed he was doing all the right things to protect him. He took things too far, manipulating those closest to him and causing them more pain than he ever thought. 

All in all, an enjoyable, complex character. 

Want to see more of these long character discussion posts? Let me know! Feel free to send suggestions for characters you’d like me to cover in the future! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this Marlon character discussion/analysis/rant thing! Let me know your thoughts on Marlon!

[sanktaleksander]

What about, the prompt number three for Brank? *Puppy eyes*

I’m sorry this took forever but I really loved writing this even when I wasn’t making much progress. I hope you enjoy it!

Brank + 3. touching foreheads

Read on ao3

Billy hated hospitals. He hated everything about them, from all the people always coming and going, the oppressive and glaring fluorescent lights overhead to the constant lack of quiet, be it from the sounds of beeping machines or humming equipment or just the constant sound of conversation. Even the smell, so bracingly potent in its cleanliness seemed to put him on edge. It probably didn’t bother most people, but everything about this place made Billy uncomfortable and ill at ease from the moment he knew he’d have to go inside. Places like this, any clinical setting really, reminded him too much of his past, especially around the time he’d found his mother, practically on life support after she’d nearly drugged herself into oblivion one too many times. The place she was in now still made him uncomfortable, as though he could smell the scent of people’s suffering just from entering the building. Just one more reason he preferred not to see her.

Today though, today he was here for a different reason and if it had been for any other reason, he probably wouldn’t have come simply to avoid stepping foot in another hospital. But he wasn’t here for a friend or even a family member, he was here for someone far more important than either of those designations. 

Billy had taken care of everything personally as soon as he’d been given word. He’d made sure the room was the biggest and best available, had only the best staff on duty with more just a call away if need be and he was sure he could have a jet waiting and ready in under 30 minutes if shit suddenly decided to hit the fan, which Billy always assumed it would even if it never really did. It was the soldier in him he supposed, always having to be prepared for the worst case scenario. He’d learned a long time ago that it paid to have all your bases covered and he was definitely a man with the means to do exactly that.

The ride in the elevator was excruciating, both because of such an enclosed space and the length of time it took to move up several floors even though in actuality it probably wasn’t any time at all. Mostly though, it was because of the series of knots that had formed in the pit of Billy’s stomach, starting the second he got the call. After that, he’d started ringing contact after contact to get everything in place here before ultimately making the trip here himself.

Finally, Billy reached the correct floor and found it blessedly less crowded and a bit quieter, mostly because Billy had demanded the best and was willing to fork over the cash for a bit of privacy. Still, his heart sped up as he made his way down the hall, his expensive Louis Vuitton’s echoing against the tile with every step. 

There was a rather broad man in a black suit standing in front of the door at the end of the hall. His arms were crossed over his chest and his gaze steely. If he was listening to the chatter he was surely hearing from his earpiece, it registered no change in his expression. Billy didn’t have to say a word, the man knew who he was just from sight alone and immediately stepped aside, opening the door and allowing Billy to enter before closing it once he was inside. 

The room was silent except for the steady sounds of the machines that were inescapable in a hospital. It was a rather large space for a hospital room, with an oversized couch and several chairs, some decent wallpaper, and windows that overlooked the city. 

“You didn’t have to do all this.”

Billy had avoided looking at the man sitting in the hospital bed until then, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when he finally managed a look. His eyes landed on the other man’s face, saw the myriad of cuts on his body, some deep enough to require stitches while others were simply bandaged. Not that Billy could see most of his body, just his face, and arms, the rest covered by a gown and the thin blanket that had been placed over him. Still, Billy could see the beginnings of bruises along with other abrasions. He worried about the injuries that he knew he couldn’t see.

It took a moment for him to find his voice as he took everything in. “It’s you. For anyone else, I wouldn’t have but you’re not anyone else.” 

“So I’m royalty now, huh?” Frank’s voice sounded rough and more than a bit tired, but just the sound of it made Billy’s heart beat faster, even as he remained rooted to the spot, still taking in the state of the other man. Leave it to Frank to try and make light of his current situation.

Billy sighed softly then, taking a step toward the bed. “You act like I should’ve done nothing.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal, Bill. Whatever happens to me isn’t your fault.”

“But you could’ve died!” Billy burst out, drawing back a second later, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “We’re all going to die sooner or later. You’re still making more out of this than you should be.” Frank insisted. Billy let out a noise of disgust. “Oh spare me that bullshit. Just because we’re all going to kick it one day doesn’t mean we should just act like we have no control over our lives. We shouldn’t just let shit happen as it may, paying no mind to our own safety, just asking for the universe to come and off us.” He shook his head before meeting Frank’s gaze. “Is that what you want? Do you have some sort of fucking death wish that you haven’t told me about?”

Frank scoffed. “You know it’s not like that. I do what I do because I have to, because nobody else will. You know it’s a little more dangerous than some office job.”

“I do but you’re not an untrained idiot who decided to do this for his own jollies either! Would it really be so hard to be a little more careful? Every day I wake up and wonder if this is the day I’m gonna get a call that someone found your maimed corpse in some burnt out warehouse!” Billy was trying so hard to rein in his feelings but this was Frank and nobody else got to him quite like he did and it didn’t help that Frank didn’t seem to understand why Billy would go to such lengths just to make sure he was okay. 

“And so what if I end up dead, Bill? You’d be fine, you’ve got everything anyone could possibly want and if you don’t, you’re more than capable of paying someone to get what you want. The whole fucking world is in the palm of your hand. Compared to all that, why do I even matter?” Frank asked him, watching Billy with almost curious eyes, unused to seeing the other man this way. For a long moment Billy stood silent. His gaze had moved from Frank to somewhere on the floor, but it soon returned to his face and Frank wasn’t sure he quite understood the emotion he saw playing in Billy’s eyes when everything about him was normally so guarded. 

“Don’t you get it?” Billy finally asked him. “Don’t you understand that without you, I’ve got nothing? No family, no friends, or at least none that matter anyway. I’ve got the money and the high powered job and everything that comes with that but none of that matters if you’re not here. How am I just supposed to fucking go on without you, huh? How am I supposed to move on and act like everything is okay knowing damn well I’m never gonna see you again?!” Billy demanded, his voice rising as he began to pace, not knowing what else to do with himself. 

Frank found himself unsure of what to say. It hurt him to see Billy like this, to see him so clearly unhappy when he was usually so calm and practically unflappable in any situation. When they’d been overseas, he’d been a lethal sniper because of his ability to remain in control at all times besides having a perfect shot. He was even like that when they were deep in a firefight. Billy could handle anything. Frank couldn’t remember a time when he’d seen him like this. 

“Bill...I-I don’t…” He couldn’t seem to find the right words.

Billy had crossed to the other side of the room where the windows were, now leaning his hands against the ledge beneath the glass, his eyes trained on the view of the city outside.

“Sometimes...Sometimes I think about trying to convince you to go away with me, to give up all of this, this life you’ve chosen. I think about convincing you to let me take you away from here, off to anywhere in the world that we could want to go as long as it got us out of here and I’d never have to worry about losing you again. We could just disappear, never have to worry about anything anymore. I don’t care about where we’d end up, as long as we’re together.” Billy sighed heavily then, shoulders sagging. “But I know there’s no point in asking. I know I could never get you to agree to it. I may not be able to live without you, but that doesn’t mean you feel the same way about me.”

Frank had never heard Billy speak like that, never understood just how much he cared, not really. He’d always done such a good job of hiding his emotions, but perhaps this time had been one close call too many for Billy. 

“Bill, fuck, I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t realize how you felt. I’m so used to not caring too much about my own survival that I assumed if I was gone, maybe you would be sad, but that it wouldn’t mean nearly as much as it clearly would.” He swallowed, finding a lump had formed in his throat. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be lost without you.” Frank managed, his voice much softer now. “I know how important you are to me but I don’t think I’ve been showing it, not nearly enough. I didn’t realize how my own disregard for myself would affect you.” 

Frank’s eyes stayed on the other man as he remained in place by the window, not saying a word. He couldn’t help worrying that Billy wouldn’t say anything else and that he would simply walk out. Frank didn’t want that, didn’t want there to be this tension between them. 

“Bill? Will you come over here? Please? So I can stop looking at your back?” 

For a long moment, Billy still didn’t move. But eventually, he straightened and turned, approaching the bed. Frank recognized the expression on Billy’s face, one he was very much familiar with, the calm, cold look of detachment Billy kept up around nearly everyone and almost all the time. Frank was one of the few people around which he could let that mask disappear and allowed himself to really feel things, but usually only if they were alone. Frank didn’t take offense to Billy refusing to do that now, knowing that the coldness was just his response to his control slipping earlier. It was a defense mechanism for Billy, one he relied on, a sort of self-preservation against rejection or unwanted pain, something he’d been forced to learn from years of being used and having his wants disregarded by people he thought he could trust. He didn’t know how else to handle emotionally charged situations where feelings mattered more than anything else. For Billy, he’d much rather storm a fortified bunker than try to navigate his own feelings. 

Frank wasn’t quite like that, but he understood well enough and he honestly wasn’t much better considering the emotion of his that he was most familiar with was rage. 

But the good thing was that he was also one of the few people who could coax Billy into letting his guard down after he’d thrown every wall back up. It wasn’t always easy, but it seemed Billy responded to him in ways he just didn’t with other people. 

Frank pushed himself up in the bed so he was sitting better, so he could try and get Billy to meet his gaze. “You mean everything to me, you know that?” It wasn’t easy for him to say these things out loud, but they needed to be said and at least they were alone. “I never say it and I clearly don’t show it enough but you’re all I’ve got, Bill. I know I’d never make it if you were gone but I never realized that you would feel the same way about me.” He exhaled a deep sigh, looking down at his hands, the knuckles wrapped up as they’d been split and bloody when he came in. “You’re the only one who even remotely understands the shit that goes on in my head. I don’t have to act like I’m something I’m not with you. You don’t look at me the way some people do, like I’m a ticking bomb they don’t know how to defuse. You’re the only person I know that won’t let me down…” He looked up, surprised when he found Billy’s eyes on him. 

The look in Billy’s eyes was unreadable, those dark eyes revealing little though Frank felt like Billy was studying every bit of him, as though he were peering into Frank himself, picking up on all the things the other man had left unsaid. 

Frank didn’t move when Billy stepped closer, didn’t shy away when the other man carefully reached to touch his cheek despite having several cuts on that part of his face. He didn’t care honestly, he wasn’t afraid of Billy in any sense, but he definitely wasn’t going to pull away now, not when he saw the way Billy’s expression changed. Those eyes were no longer distant, instead, they were now watching Frank in a way he couldn’t quite describe, though he found this look familiar. He’d seen glimpses of it when Billy thought Frank hadn’t been paying attention, only for it to disappear as soon as he realized that Frank had noticed. Frank wasn’t entirely sure what it meant, but he didn’t look away, leaning into Billy’s hand as the man’s thumb brushed over his cheek. Billy so rarely gave out affection, not that Frank was much different, but it was even rarer that Frank received affection nowadays from anyone so he relished it while he could, the look in Billy’s eyes making him feel things he thought he’d long since left behind.

Frank had been so caught up in trying to piece together the thoughts going on behind Billy’s expression that he didn’t even register when the other man moved, not until Billy was already kissing him, almost hesitant at first. For a moment Frank froze, his surprise immobilizing him until his brain came back online and he registered just how good all this felt, from the warmth of Bill’s lips against his own, how unbelievably soft those lips were, to the hands that were now framing his face, cradling his cheeks with the utmost care. 

Frank hadn’t kissed anyone in a long time, enough that he couldn’t even pinpoint the last time in his mind, but he couldn’t recall any of his past experiences making him feel like this, that despite his multitude of injuries, all he could feel was how good kissing Billy felt. 

His bandaged hands reached forward, grabbing handfuls of Billy’s suit to try and tug him closer as he leaned in, kissing Billy back, not expecting the swell of emotion that rose up inside. It felt this was something he’d been waiting to happen for years, like Frank’s whole world suddenly made sense in a way it never had before. 

When they parted, Billy didn’t go far, resting their heads together as his thumbs continued to stroke over Frank’s cheeks. “You’re it for me, Frankie. If you’re gone, then I might as well go with you. If you’re not here, then nothing else really matters.” 

Those words hit Frank especially hard, the look on Billy’s face that he’d been trying to understand beginning to make a lot more sense. “I’m not going anywhere.” He promised softly, reaching up to gather Billy’s hands in his own, pressing his lips to the other man’s knuckles. “I won’t do that to you, Bill, I’m not gonna leave you.” He leaned up and Billy didn’t hesitate, meeting him in the middle to kiss him again as Frank squeezed his hands. 

For a moment they remained that way, neither in much hurry to move. But when they did separate, Frank briefly worried that Billy would change his mind and act as though none of that had just happened. But much the opposite happened.

Billy slipped out of his suit jacket and for a second Frank didn’t understand why, not until the other man returned to the side of the bed and Frank quickly understood what he was silently asking for, even if Billy couldn’t bring himself to voice the words. This wasn’t unusual either, they always seemed to be on the same page about almost everything. 

Frank carefully shifted himself on the bed, moving his body to one side in order to leave enough room for the other man’s long frame. It wasn’t easy and it took a good bit for both of them to get comfortable, minding the wires and tubes attached to Frank as well as his numerous injuries. But soon Billy was tucked under Frank’s chin, a careful arm secured across his torso, his head resting so he could hear the other man’s heart beat. 

Frank wrapped an arm around Billy, nuzzling his nose into the softness of his hair before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Billy responded by lifting his head to press a kiss beneath the curve of Frank’s jaw. 

“You don’t ever have to be without me if you don’t want to be, okay?” Frank’s fingers traced down over Billy’s arm. “I’m yours if you’ll have me.” 

“Yeah?” Billy responded, “You sure about that?” 

“More sure than I’ve been about anything in quite a long time.” Frank tightened his hold on Billy, tugging him impossibly closer. “I know what I’m asking for, Bill. I know you and I know everything that comes along with you. But you know me too and you know all the bullshit I’ve got hanging on me, always going on inside my head. If you can accept all that and take me anyway, then I know I can do the same for you. I just wish I’d made this decision a long time ago.” 

Billy said nothing for several minutes, listening to Frank’s heart and the steady sound of his breathing. He’d avoided shit like this for years, refusing to let anyone get close enough to be with him like this unless it was some sort of fling and those never lasted long. He’d always moved on eventually. But Frank was different. Frank had been his one constant since they’d met and he was the only person to look every horrible thing about Billy straight in the face and not flinch, not even a little. And if they were going to get to have more moments like this, then wasn’t that all he’d ever wanted all along? No one had ever touched him like this, wanted him like this. If Frank wanted him, would it really be so bad to let Frank have him when he wanted Frank just the same?

This time when Billy lifted his head, he made sure he met Frank’s gaze, looking into those brown eyes that he had always found so welcoming whenever they were on him. “You and me, huh? This mean you’re gonna propose too?”

Frank’s face broke out in a smile at that, one that made his laugh lines come out and his eyes light up. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. I’d be content to spend the rest of my life making you happy.” 

Billy had to kiss him again when he said that, sure this would be just one of many more to come. And as he once again made himself comfortable in Frank’s arms, Billy found himself at ease inside a hospital for the first time in his life. Funny how being with that right person could change things completely.

[yslore]

Writing Asks

thank u to sarah @soldouthaz, lily @theisolatedlily and late @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me !!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

started in eighth grade after moving which fucked me up (i’m still to recover lmao) n i needed a distraction, reading had always helped but writing is what let me see what the root of my agony was. (im not trying to be pretentious i swear) i first started on wattpad (love hate relationship to this day) and beginning of lockdown this year gravitated to ao3 which has been my saving grace !!!

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

so far i’ve mostly written in louis’ pov. i’ve had to ask this question in the early stages — i resonate the closest to harry. most of my wips are harry centric for that reason. i mean, yes and no — i tend to take some part of me and fit it into the character but at the same time i don’t like seeing me on a page so yes and no.

3. where do you often find inspiration?

EVERYWHERE. mostly others’ stories be it in the way of songs, music, writing, art. usually it’s me coming across a vaguely aesthetic picture and my brain spitting out one or two random scenes and me trying to make that a story.

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

both !!! i have new wips but also i lost a lot of motivation to do anything for a bit. school is sucking the soul out of me — it’s both easier and harder with it being online, the worst part is i can never truly feel like i’m getting a break from it. recently it’s been easier for me bc of the friends i made (ily all) it’s hindered a little bit bc i can’t go out and watch people and streetlights and the blur of cars and try to pour out that feeling into words and create something. at the same time it’s helped me gain more perspective on people and relationships which has been a massive help to writing in general.

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

depending on the number of classes i have/attend, my mental stability, the story and my sensitivity. i often can’t stand loud noises so there’s that but there is always some noise or the other so it’s never truly silent. i like it that way. sometimes i just play intense studying playlist on spotify and write, Lucida by Odin Sørlie and Haunted Heart by Dawn, Dawn, Dawn are my favourites.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

excessive usage of the same word in mine. in general, i’m not a fan of stereotypical characters or romanticising harmful themes.

7. describe your ideal writing setup

2 am, in bed, music still ringing in my ears, three texts from my best friend about a story or about their day. under the blanket, the room smelling of chocolate or something sweet.

8. favorite time of day to write?

anytime but afternoon. those hours are for naps.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

fiction? i’d love to write a fantasy au 👀

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

yep yep. i just edit an old story or read my old works or other writers’ fics. i gave up trying to force myself into writing — i hated the end product and felt bad so.

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

probably the emotions? dialogue without a doubt — i dread writing it. it doesn’t come to me naturally. i can write lengths without dialogue tbh. also smut — it’s an eh eh aspect.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

my wonderful friends. they do dumb shit and i want to tell the world about their dumb shit so i make characters out of them.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

as of now it is fucker — delightful word that one. least favourite is probably squelch — just no.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

the dreamy feeling i manage to write without a doubt !!!! dialogue and pacing. i don’t have the best dialogue or the pacing or the length for fics but i’m working on all of those !!

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

still a wip so i can’t tell you much except that it’s a proper treat. will write this once i’ve posted that fic !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

*nervous laughter* the font changes from fic to fic — crush is comic sans, size 11. October was Lora, 11. Twisted in bedsheets is courier new, 11. stargazing is spectral, 11. so yeah — whatever the fic demands. single spaced !!!! except when i’m overwhelmed i do double spaces.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

I Cannot Type. if you think i can — congratulations you were fooled. autocorrect is the loml.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

of course !!!! i basically do not exist out of my writing.

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

pain, pining, longing. lust.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

we’re all fucked up but we’re trying and trying sometimes is enough. you shouldn’t spend your life carved out around one person. it’s okay to ask for help and need a shoulder to lean on. i hope these come across in my future fics !!!!

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

bold of you to assume i’ve ever received advice.

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

a new fic. will update the answer once that fic is out !!!!!

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically. i can’t do out of order. i do have a page full of scribbles but they are to tell me the order sjakmd.

24. how do you handle criticism?

if it’s constructive then well. no thick skin tbh. makes me feel as if i need validation from someone else on my art which isn’t necessary but my brain is wired to seek it and it’s a hassle.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

write everything you would want to read. write it bad, don’t worry about the quality. don’t worry about the audience. end of the day, it should be something you can turn to for comfort not something that makes you feel bad.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

people telling me they like my writing and it could take them out of this world for a few minutes !!!!!

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

probably crush verse !!!! harry — his is probably the one character where i dump most of me in.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

rant to me about anything. i enjoy talking. ask me about wips so i can take the little guilt and write more.

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it’s nice to let go and express things and create characters with a better situation than mine.

30. why do you write?

keep myself busy.

boost yourself + tags

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

No kissing. No flashbacks.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

a little something i’m writing inspired by @brickredtoe’s art !!!!

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

ok. well. from 5436 miles

“Or we could always add a trail of stars to one of those moons,” he replies, words dragged out, rolling around in his mouth.

He can see the glint in his eyes even behind his closed lids. Everything about Louis is inked and etched into every fiber of his being.

He would’ve kissed him, words pouring from his mouth into Harry’s, only half his.

He snorts. “And make it seem like the moon has a buttplug? No, thanks.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

both my published fics have circular endings.

5436 miles — Louis always had more stars in his eyes.

these tornadoes are for you — His heart beats in peace.

5a. link to the last fic you read.

sugary sweet by the immensely talented @soldouthaz

6a. link the last work you published

here

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

wheeee

8a. someone that inspires you

taylor. she’s so so wonderful.

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

all of riv, sarah, ris and late’s fics. they’ve been so so comforting. Event Horizon by @mercurial-madhouse

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

@mercurial-madhouse @harryanthus are the only ones coming to mind atm. i’ve been up for too long apologies.

[onceuponakdrama]

100 Days My Prince: Drama Review

—

— 

Bingo Card For 100 Days My Prince

Synopsis: Lee Yul is the Crown Prince of Joseon, a perfectionist who disregards the majority of those in the royal palace and appears cold and demanding when in reality, he is just lonely. One day, he passes a law stating that all Korean citizens of marriageable age must do so before they reach the age of 28. Hong Shim is a strong, intelligent woman who takes on multiple jobs to support herself and her father. She is also the oldest unmarried woman in her village and is in need of a husband in order to avoid punishment from law officials.In an attempted assassination, Lee Yul finds himself severely injured and under Hong Shim and Hong Sim's father's care. Due to his injuries, Lee Yul develops temporary amnesia and wanders around aimlessly as a commoner with no name or identity. Because of the law passed by Lee Yul, he and Hong Shim are forced to marry each other in order to save Hong Shim from punishment as well as her village from the drought. What follows is the love story of Hong Shim, 'Joseon's oldest unmarried woman,' and Lee Yul, the amnesiac Crown Prince.

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 7 out of 10

This is a drama that sets everything up for you, so the viewer doesn’t really have any surprises unless it happens during that time. I was overall satisfied with the way they tied in all the usual tropes (childhood lovers, rebellion from the court, amnesia, etc.) together. It’s a typical historical kdrama: the Crown Prince and attempted assassinations, rebellion against the crown, etc. However, there are three major reasons I docked off points: 

The Beginning - it felt like the beginning was rather slowed down. This goes for the plot and the romance, in which there was a weird still that happened in the plot. I literally stopped watching after episode 4 because I wasn’t feeling it and then things picked back up again in episode 5 and 6. 

The Ending - I did not like that the Vice Premier didn’t get what was coming to him. The “revenge” of the plot felt too  anticlimactic. He should’ve just rotted in prison, but they decided to kill him and it felt like too little. 

The Break-Up Sequence - I’m gonna go into this a bit more for the romance, but overall, I hated that, in the last episode, they had to insert a time skip where they would met again and it just, did not hit. I thought it was unnecessary, especially since her brother had already paid for his sins so, yeah. 

Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

↣ Lee Yul/Na Won Deuk [played by Do Kyungsoo] - I’m gonna be honest. I love Do Kyungsoo, but it took me a while to like his character. I pitied him because he had to go through so much as a child, but, as a grown man, it took me a while to like him. When he started to open up is when I started to like him as a male lead. Since I watched Shopping King Louis before this, I was less favorable towards him than compared to Louis. I really liked his development though, especially as Won Deuk and his desire to live a normal life with Hong Shim. 

↣ Yeon Yi Suh/Hong Shim [played by Nam Jihyun] - I really loved her character as a whole. There were a couple of times I was annoyed with her, but I remember that she’s an active character and she’s bound to get into unfavorable situations that’ll get her into trouble. One thing I really liked about her is that she took action rather than waiting for someone to help her; I really liked her development and how she learned that she can depend on people for some things. I am personally so fond of her relationship with her adopted father; they were absolutely adorable. But yeah, throughout the drama, I felt bad about her and really rooted for her and her happiness. 

↣ Jung Jae Yoon [played by Kim Seonho] - I tend to have second lead syndrome, but this time it was rather weak. I think it’s just because I felt like I didn’t know what side he was working for until near the end and I realized he was a really good guy. So, the SLS doesn’t hurt that much. Overall, I really liked his development in which he is still a good politician and he became really close friends with Yul. 

Personal Notes: I was weirdly attached to Do Jihan’s character (he played Dongjo, the Crown Prince’s personal guard), so when he was killed, I cried on the inside. On the other hand, Kim Jaeyoung’s character (Moonyeon/Seon Ha), I had a feeling he was going to die, but I didn’t realize he would just be killed off near the end. I felt bad for him, but he did try to kill the Prince so... 

Romance: Rating - 8 out of 10 

I actually really liked the romance; I think it’s only because they set up the whole child-lovers thing, so I was motivated to root for them. Again, the beginning was rather slow, but they had a reason to be. I thought it was nice to watch their romance blossom, but I didn’t really like Yul in the beginning since he kind of made Hong Shim’s life harder (getting money from a loan shark, not being able to do labor, etc.). It took me a bit to warm up to his character, but overall, they had a good romance and I’m glad they had a happy ending. I’m just lowkey upset that the last episode wasn’t as cathartic as it should have been. The last episode contained the break-up/time gap sequence and it felt really unnecessary. Her brother was already dead at that point, so like what was the point of separating them? And while it was romantic for him to propose again (have events repeat themselves), I just thought it would have been better to have the whole thing happen at once after the whole war thing broke out. The overall romance was nice, but, again, it was kind of slow to begin and, towards the end, it was unnecessary to have them break up and get back together when they were kind of yearning for each other all of their lives and such. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 9 out of 10

I was actually kind of fond of the side characters. I really liked the villagers specifically and how close their community was. I really felt bad for Hong Shim’s friend (KKeut Nyeo) because I really liked her, but her husband was stupid. But, again, I loved how close their community was and how much they liked Hong Shim. As for the more antagonistic side characters, I think that they were really well done. I really did not like them and when they were met with their end, it was very satisfying. Even for the Crown Princess, I felt bad for her because of her family, but it’s not like she didn’t deserve it. The only reason it’s a nine instead of a ten is because some of the side characters felt unnecessary, but they were given interesting backstories and it made the plot progress further. 

Additional Notes: 

Genre - I’m not a fan of historical dramas, primarily because they’re all centered on the royal family, keeping the throne, and rebels. Everyone dies so quickly too and, at that point, I’m not surprised, just disappointed. But, I did think this one had a nicer touch because there was a strong female lead, especially in this time period. 

Tropes - the childhood first love trope was actually nice because it wasn’t thrown in last minute and actually used to drive the plot and character development. 

The last episode kind of missed the mark. I was kind of upset at how they built it up throughout the drama, but they missed so many opportunities in the last episode. I think the only trope I didn’t like was the time skip because it was really unnecessary to have that break-up too. So, the ending was kind of... bad (in my opinion). 

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 

Recommended? 

↣ Yes: if you don’t like surprises in a drama, this is for you. This drama sets up everything for the viewer and the viewer watches it unfold. This is also a different type of historical drama; while they do focus on the Crown Prince and such, they also show a glimpse of non-royal life, which is something you don’t really get in historical dramas. Another reason to watch this is that there is more romance into it. The main couple has a lot of moments that are cute and you definitely end up rooting for them. 

↣ No: royal battles for the crown is the main plot, other than the romance, if you aren’t interested, it isn’t for you. This is also a drawn out drama with a lot of tropes (as claimed on my bingo card), so if you don’t have patience, it’s not for you. It does have the basic kdrama tropes, along with the basic historical kdrama tropes, but then again, it’s not a kdrama without it. 

[starstruckteacup]

Cottagecore Films (pt. 8)

Second Time Around (2016)

TW: character death - possible suicide (offscreen)

starring Linda Thorson, Stuart Margolin, Alexis Harrison, Louis Del Grande, Laura de Carteret

After enjoying a night at the opera, the vivacious senior Katherine suffers a major fall, breaking her hip and sending her into rehabilitation. Despite her protests, she has to stay in a retirement home to be cared for while she recovers. There, she meets a variety of new faces, including the charismatic and flirtatious Charlie and the defeated and introverted Isaac. When Katherine damages a piece of clothing, Isaac offers to repair it, at which point the two strike an unlikely friendship. As their relationship grows, the two get to know each other’s pasts, presents, and hopes for the future, and things truly escalate after a formal dance hosted by the home. Even when their situations grow dire, they still find room for love. Even after they both recover, they stay together, choosing to pursue happiness as a dynamic pair.

This has to be one of the sweetest, funniest, and liveliest movies I’ve seen in a long time. It takes a very real look at what life is like for the elderly in retirement homes, but it doesn’t dwell on the depressing aspects, instead choosing to rejoice in the many types of love. The characters felt so genuine, and I was constantly rooting for their success. For example, I’ve never been so engrossed in a scene of people getting ready for an event; I was cheering them on the entire time. You really felt the joy they got out of dressing up for this one special night. How can you not feel happy when people are so confident in themselves, and are ready to take the night? The acting in that regard was truly exceptional. It’s one thing to get into character, but the actors in this film seemed to feel their characters’ stories to the fullest, and it truly came across on screen. This film defies the stereotype for geriatrics to sit around, aspiring to nothing, by showing us exactly how unique and full of life they still are. The characters experience such a plethora of emotions, but it’s the acting that truly draws you into their reality. And where do I even begin on the chemistry? Every relationship in this film was as real as if it wasn’t a film at all. Love, attraction, envy, jealousy, every feeling a character directed toward another was impeccably real. The only critique I could possibly have for this film is the camera work, which was somewhat unstable at times, but it doesn’t detract from the quality of the film at all. If you’re looking for a joyful romance, this is the one. 8/10

Under the Eiffel Tower (2018)

starring Judith Godrèche, Matt Walsh, Reid Scott, Dylan Gelula, Gary Cole

When bourbon connoisseur Stuart loses his job, his friend’s family invites him on their trip to France. It doesn’t go well for long, however, when the 50-year-old proposes to his friend’s 26-year-old daughter beneath the Eiffel Tower. The family cuts him off, continuing on their trip and leaving Stuart to figure out his own way home. In the airport, Stuart meets professional footballer Liam, who encourages him to use his train ticket to Bordeaux and enjoy France while he’s there. On the train, the two meet Louise, an artistic winery owner, on her way home from Paris. The two men quickly find themselves stranded, and are taken in by Louise to stay in her chateau. Chemistry grows between Stuart and Louise, until several miscommunications erupt and send Stuart and Liam packing. This isn’t the end for the duo’s misadventures, however, as Liam runs into a familiar face and Stuart realizes he’d left behind the only thing that made him feel alive.

This movie was extremely disappointing. Not only did it have every cliché in the book, the characters were thoroughly boring and fake. Stuart was a highly unrelatable character, for starters. He’s introduced as an immature alcoholic who doesn’t think clearly and proposes to a woman half his age, already someone that the audience will clearly have no attachment to. Then for the rest of the film he’s portrayed as an artistic, business-minded, loving man, which doesn’t fit at all with how he was at the start. And there was no character growth to explain it. He just changed all of a sudden, yet he still reverted back to a bumbling child every time he saw his friend’s family. Liam was similarly immature and poorly behaved, never taking no for an answer and constantly forcing Louise to spend time with him. We’re clearly supposed to like him because he’s suave and handsome, and has a Scottish accent. Louise was a very dull character as well. We saw her paint once, and suddenly she’s supposed to have depth without the film actually showing it. With all of these negative characters, there’s no sense of satisfaction when Stuart and Louise run off into the sunset together. He’s still weird and creepy. Not to mention how weird and creepy Liam is after making moves on Rosalind. She’s 26 and more than capable of making her own decisions and dating older men, but she was thoroughly repulsed by Stuart and yet forgave Liam of his own age and creepiness only because he had a Scottish accent (yes, that’s what she says in the film). The scenery could have been breathtaking--a vineyard in southern France???--but the film showed next to none of it. Stuart even talks about it but there’s not a single shot of the landscape throughout the entire film. Save yourself the effort. 2/10

Midsommar (2019)

TW: intense gore, suicide (onscreen and offscreen), murder (offscreen), intoxication, drug usage

starring Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Vilhelm Blomgren, William Jackson Harper, Will Poulter, Ellora Torchia, Archie Madekwe

A friend group of anthropologists--named Christian, Josh, and Mark--decide to accompany their close friend Pelle on a return trip to his home in Sweden. Dani, currently in mourning over the deaths of her parents and sister, agree to accompany them in an effort to take her mind off her grief. The group arrives at the idyllic commune, the Hårga, to participate in a special celebration that is only held once every 90 years. There they meet Pelle’s brother, Ingemar, and two of his friend’s, Connie and Simon. The group indulges for the first day, trying to learn about the Hårga and their traditions. On the second day, however, the celebration begins, and from the unknowing tourists’ perspective, things begin to spiral out of control. As more questions are raised and more of the commune’s beliefs are dishonored, people start to go missing. While Dani’s suspicions grow, the rest remain willfully ignorant, until only Dani and Christian are left. When Dani becomes the May Queen by winning a dance competition, tradition demands that she help complete the commune’s celebration. While it’s nothing she was prepared for, perhaps it is what she needed in the end.

I found that I enjoyed this movie in an uncomfortable way. I didn’t like it in the way that one would typically “like” a movie, but it was absolutely an excellent film. I don’t particularly appreciate intense gore, and while I understand that this is a horror film, I don’t think it needed to be that present. I suppose it was more to overwhelm the audience and put them in the same mindset as Dani, so in that way it does make sense, but it is very��intense. The thing I liked most about this movie is what also made me the most uncomfortable. The character situation is so strange because the main characters are clearly selfish, manipulative, ignorant, arrogant, and disrespectful, without any real redeeming qualities, so you can’t possibly like them, but at the same time you’re unable to sympathize with the cult because of how foreign and violent their customs are. I watched this movie in this uncomfortable, removed but still invested way which I’ve never experienced before. It’s a beautiful film and the acting is incredible, especially from Pugh. The extreme way she depicts Dani’s grief is consistent throughout the movie, but the reactions she receives are vastly different each time, and Pugh adapts to the evolution of the story spectacularly. In summary, this film is an intense, psychologically horrifying art film, and despite being aware of the entire plot prior to watching (I don’t usually watch horror movies), I was still wildly unprepared for what I watched. 10/10

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven

[duchessanon]

For the Love of Henri: Tome 5 - Kiss From A Rose

Here's what you missed: https://royalfandombible.blogspot.com/2019/01/for-love-of-henri-my-fanfiction.html

What you missed in summary: Prince Henri married a beautiful pauper girl named Philanthropina (Phily). Together they had baby Libby and adopted Prince George. His evil brother and sister in law were banished from the kingdom for their evil deeds. All was well until Henri decided to bid on Meghan Markle at a charity function. She then bid on the outcast Cambridges. Kate and Meg decided to come together to overthrow Phily.

---

At the footstep of the not £4 million cottage, Henri, Meghan Markle, Willy, Kate and Charlotte stood in anticipation.

Henri put his best stern face on. 'Now I must set some ground rules before we go in. My darling Phily will not be expecting any houseguests. You MUST behave, wear undergarments at all times and not use curse words. All that agree say "aye"'.

Everyone said aye apart from Charlotte who said 'aye aye me bastard'.

Henri gasped in dismay. But Kate, who was keen to impress Henri did the unexpected and disciplined her child.

'Charlotte, wash your mouth out! No Game of Thrones for you tonight'.

'BUSYBODY!!!' Charlotte screamed.

Just then the door of the humble cottage opened and a light so bright emerged. It was so heavenly that it took a moment to notice it was coming from Phily and her cherub of her baby daughter, Libby.

'Speak of the devil and she will come' Willy snickered, and Kate elbowed him in the nethers.

'Henri my love, is everything ok?' she asked sweetly. 'I heard a commotion'.

Phily was dressed the same haggard, brown ensemble she was wearing the day they met. She was not ashamed of her roots as a pauper girl.

'Yes my dear' Henri stuttered, kissing her soiled, hardworking feet. 'We have some visitors'.

Phily was no doubt surprised to see the Cambridges and a random beautiful woman on her door step. But she would never turn anyone away from her door.

'Come in brother, sister and unknown woman', she said selflessly.

During this interaction, Meg had been quietly observing. She needed to be smart if she was going to win over Henri's heart. But every one knew a way to a man's heart is through his nethers, so she touched him on the place she knew to be every man's weak spot - his back.

Henri was startled at the feel someone's hand on his back. No-one did that apart from Phily. But not in a domineering way, in a gentle, supportive way that never implied he was a cuckhold. He knew it could be no one but Meghan Markle. But instead of disgust, Henri felt that uncontrolable nether shudder.

As Phily welcomed the Cambridges, Charlotte greeted her brother George and Libby by rapping Nicki Minaj's 'Monster' while standing on Phily's self made, recycled, environmentally friendly dinner table.

"OK first things first I'll eat your brains Then I'm a start rocking gold teeth and fangs 'cause that's what a motherfucking monster do Hair dresser from Milan that's the monster do

Monster Giuseppe heel, that's the monster shoe

Big Lizzie is the roster and a monster crew

But really, really I don't give a F-U-C-K Forget Georgie, fuck Libby 'cause she's fake She's on a diet but her pockets eating cheese cake And I'll say bride of Chucky is Child's play Just killed another career it's a mild day

Now look at what you just saw This is what you live for Aaaahhh, I'm a motherfucking monster!"

***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTkEpkGKgoY

The next morning Henri explained that their visitors were only there for 5 days as per the rules of the auction. Phily cooked up a sustainable breakfast and to her shock Kate offered to wash everything up.

'They really have changed' Phily said to Henri, who was weaving baskets for the poor with Libby. 'Even William is taking an interest in his son', she smiled in a motherly way.

Willy and George were weaving baskets next to the window, out of earshot.

'I hate this place!' George said sulkily 'they make me go to a pauper school that they dont have to pay for'.

'You dont say', Willy said smirking, his limited cogs turning in his brain. 'They took a school place from a pauper child, did they?'

'Don't even try it Pops. They offset it by building a new wing of the school with their bare hands and that stupid Phily volunteers as a music teacher too.'

'Ass lickers' Willy scowled. He really hoped he could get in touch with all the tabloids and plant negative stories.

Despite this setback, Willy was happy to see that nature had won over nurture and George had demanded to change his name back from Philip, and had not given in to doing any philanthropy.

Over at the kitchen sink, Kate had enlisted help from Meg with the dishes.

'Right bitch, how we gonna get rid that busybody Phily?' Kate said licking a plate clean and handing it to Meg to dry with Phily's wedding dress, which she had mistaken for a dishcloth.

'Well H will be a breeze, when I passed him after I'd taken a dump this morning, I saw him slap his nethers', Meg said sneakily.

Kate cackled, 'today's the day you make your move, I'll distract Phily, you get him to kiss you, George will take a photo and tweet it to Piers Morgan and we're done!'

'How you gonna distract her?' Meg asked.

Kate winked at Meg. At least she tried, but she couldnt wink so she just blinked instead. 'Watch and learn from the master'.

Kate stumbled into the basket weaving area, clutching her stomach, 'oooh ouch owwww ooooh'.

Phily ran over immediately. With her medical degree, she could solve any problem, 'sister, whatever is the matter?'

Just then, Kate pulled up her skirt, revealing a small head. 'I-i-i-i'm giving birth!'

'WHAT THE FUCK!' Charlotte screamed.

Willy stayed where he was and said nonchlantly, 'you're preggers again?'

'What does it look like dipshit! Sorry Phily I dont mean to curse, it's just painful you know?'

Phily tried to understand, but in reality pain during childbirth is the one thing on earth she couldnt relate to, for hers was pain free.

Ushering Kate onto the handmade couch, Phily went into full midwife mode, sending Henri to get warm towels.

Kate blinked as a signal to Meg and she followed him up the ricketty staircase.

At the towel cupboard upstairs, Meg began to sob.

'Oh dear, Meghan, what be the matter?!' Henri asked with a genuine concern that his brother could never muster.

Meg sniffed, pulling out her best acting skills, 'oh it's just so emotional seeing new life coming into the world'

'There there' said Henri, patting her on the arm.

'Oh H!' she wailed, falling into his arms. She puckered up her lips and launched at his mouth. But before she could land the kiss, Henri turned his cheek.

Around the corner, George snapped the photo using a camera he'd stolen from 'that cry baby' photographer Garther Tedwards.

Although Henri's nethers were now beating like the Beychella marching band, his love for Phily overwhelmed him.

'Stop Meghan Markle! I beg of you', he hollered .

Meg was taken aback by his rejection, 'I'm so sorry H! Please forgive me'. She fled down the ricketty staircase.

Kate was on the couch legs akimbo screaming expletives at Willy, who was now reluctantly sitting next to his wife to assist with the birth.

"FUCK YOU!!!! DID I ASK YOU TO SIT NEXT TO ME YOU BASTARD/BITCH???? FUCK YOU CUNTHOLE!!! FUCK YOU!!!"

Willy chuckled to himslef as he remembered Henri's ex girlfriend, the beautiful Jimmu, who had now somehow possessed Kate.

"IF THIS FUNNY TO YOU NOW??? BLOODY CUNTING BITCH!!! FUCK YOU CUNT!!! FUCK OFF & SHOWVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS YOU CUNT!!! FUCKING WHORE!!! NOW YOUR OFF MY NICE LIST YOU CUNT!!!"

Meghan held up an X sign to show Kate the plan had failed, which didn't help the situation.

Shortly after, Henri emerged with George and Garthur's camera, trying to explain why stealing was wrong. Curiously, the Cambridge children were the only children in the entire world Henri could not make like him.

After a few long minutes, the baby was ready to come out. Kate pushed one more time and felt something drop onto the couch.

'Is it out?!!!' she yelled.

Phily checked, 'no sister, you've just passed your bowels. Not to worry, keep trying'.

Kate was enraged that Phily would suggest this. 'All I'm good for is making babies, you think I dont know the difference bitch! YOUR BORN A PAUPER & YET YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU EWITH YOUR SHIT COMMENT??? FUCK OFF MOTHER FUCKER I DIDN’T ASK YOU"'

Phily, remaining calm, picked up the brown item with her bare hands, noting in her head that Kate should eat more fruit, and showed it to her.

Kate grabbed the excrement at once and threw it in Willy's face. This delighted Charlotte who danced around him in a circle chanting 'shit face, shit face'.

Finally, sick of being inside such a woman, the baby pushed itself out and landed in Phily's arms. 'William, Catherine - it's a boy', she beamed.

The Camridges faked happiness, but Henri and Phily were genuinely delighted.

'What will you call him?' Phily said, cradling the baby as Kate wanted to watch Real Housewives rather than hold him.

'Shit baby!' Charlotte suggested, but no one agreed.

'Well actually he could have a name related to his arrival' Willy said. 'How about Loo?'

'Loo is the British slang term for toilet' Henri explained to Meg.

'I have an idea!' Meg said. 'Louis - but like Loo - wee'. Kate shrugged in agreeement. 

'You want to name this cherub after a toilet and urine?' Phily asked, feeling sorry for the baby despite the fact he was biting her finger with his gummy mouth.

'You have a problem with my parenting decisions Phily?' Kate asked, almost threateningly.

'Never!' Phily gasped in horror. She would never dream of being so stupid as to judge a woman on what she named, or how she held her baby.

'Charlotte darling, why dont you sing a little song to celebrate Loowee's arrival' Willy said.

Charlotte immediately began a rendition of Lily Allen's 'Fuck you'.

"Fuck you Fuck you very, very much 'Cause your words don't translate And it's getting quite late So please don't stay in touch Do you get Do you get a little kick out of being slow-minded? You want to be like your father It's approval you're after Well that's not how you find it"

 ***Musical interlude***  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK4fJhbRL1g

---

Two days later, while Phily, Henri and Libby were on an engagement, Meghan finally got a chance to speak to Kate again. She had been busy watching the Real Housewives marathon and telling Loowee to pipe down.

'What we gonna do about H?' Meg asked. 'He's been avoiding me since Loowee's birth'

'It's obvious he's not gonna ditch that halfwit willingly. We gotta get rid of her - for good! It's time for drastic action'. Kate pressed her engagement ring, she had a button installed in it so it would send a shock up Willy's ass when she needed him.

Willy came running, 'yes babykins?'

'Gimme your phone'.

Willy handed it over relutantly. Kate opened his messages and found his conversation with someone only identified by a Rose emoji. She texted quickly - 'get 2 Nott Cott now'.

Five minutes later there was a knock at the door. When Meg opened it, a woman who could have been a Kate impersonator stood before her. 

'Meg, Rose, Rose, Meg' Kate said, not bothering with formal introductions. Willy looked sheepish in the corner (allegedly).

Meg didnt know who Rose allegedly was but she didn't care. She just wanted to know how she could help her ensnare H.

Kate explained the plan. 'As soon as Phily gets home, we're gonna feed her an apple dosed with botox. Phily is allergic to anything superficial so she'll become drowsy. That's where Rose comes in. She's a witch and with one kiss, Phily will be gone.'

Meg considered the implications of killing the future queen, but came to the conclusion it was worth it.

And so the plan was set. Meg wrote 'you are so loved Phily' on an apple and Kate injected it with the botox she always kept in her bra.

When Phily got home, she was full of the joys of spring. 'We met the most wonderful disadvantaged people today', she beamed. 'I just love saving people'.

Henri smiled lovingly at his wife, 'and they love you, belle'.

'Speaking of love!' Meg said. 'You must take this gift'. She handed her the apple and Phily was touched.

'How wonderful! I will eat it later' she said.

'No you must eat it now sister' Kate said, wearing a full hooded cloak.

'But it's time for dinner' said Phily.

'So what, eat it!' George said impatiently.

'Yeh Phily, why you gotta be so busybody?' Charlotte added.

'Oh no I really shouldnt' Phily said innocently.

'Just eat the fucking apple!' said a voice from the window. They all turned around and Philpot was riding past on his horse and cart.

'Well if grandfather says so' Phily said. She bit into the apple and immediately felt a little faint as the botox hit her pure blood.

Elegantly, she fell into Henri's big, strong arms.

'Mon amour!' Henri yelled, carrying her up the ricketty stairs swiftly.

'Oh no, what has happened?' Meg said. Her acting ability really was wasted on Suits.

'There must've been something artificial in the apple' Henri said, laying her on their handmade bed.

'How could there be?' said Kate. 'It's from your very own Orchard For the Hungry'.

Phily was still breathing but was confused.

Henri was devestated at the thought that his orchard might be to blame.

'It's ok Henners, I know a great doctor that is THE expert on allergies'. Meg said.

Just then there was a knock at the bedroom door and Rose allegedly entered wearing a white doctor's coat.

'Here she is now, this is Dr Rose, allegedly', Meg said.

Henri didnt have time to question how she got there so fast, so just said in a panicked voice, 'Dr Allegedly, please help my wife!'

'Everyone who is male and under 2 years of age must leave the room' said Rose.

'No I can not leave her!' Henri wailed, falling at Phily's bedside.

George at once knew it was his time to shine because his father was too dimwitted to defuse this situation.

'Uncle Henri, please could you tell me again why one should never dress as a member of a fascist, murdering political party? I just dont understand why it's so bad' George said sweetly.

Henri knew at once that his greater calling was to teach George right from wrong. It is what Phily would want.

He left the room with one last glance at Phily who was humming 'Once upon a dream'.

That left Kate, Meg, Rose, Charlotte and Phily.

'Get it done Rose!' whispered Kate.

'In order for the enchantment to work, you must all join hands and sing the death kiss soundtrack, the underrated classic 'Kiss from a rose' by Seal'.

***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMD2TwRvuoU

Rose kissed Phily on the lips, as the others encircled them singing hypnotically.

A pink mist left Phily's mouth and was inhaled by Rose. 'It is done'.

There was a moment of silence before Kate fell at Rose's feet and looked deeply in her eyes as she sang.

"You remain

My power, my pleasure, my pain.

To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah

Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.

But did you know, That when it snows,

My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen."

Meg gasped. She had been foolish. It was Kate who was allegedly having an affair with Rose, not allegedly Willy!

She didnt have time for that revelation now. She needed to check Phily was really gone.

Checking her pulse, she waited for a few moments until suddenly she felt it beat.

'Damn it Rose, she's alive!' Meg said, losing her temper.

'ARE YOU DUMB, BITCH??!' screamed Charlotte.

Rose rushed over from her alleged embrace with Kate, who had shed her cloak and was now in a real snake skin body suit.

She checked her pulse, and discovered Meg was correct. Her pulse was beating every 19.84 seconds - the year of Henri's birth.

'Oh fuck' Rose allegedly said. 'I've only heard about this happening in fairytales. When the love between husband and wife is pure, the kiss will not work to its full effect'.

Meg screamed into her hands. 'How can it be pure when H's nethers react to me?'

'That is simply a test from Jesu. The point is, Henri has resisted your advances, thus proving the purity of his love'. Rose explained to the room.

At this point, Charlotte lost it. She wanted to be back in her £4 million apartment, not this shitty dive.

'I don’t need a damn explanation about what she asked. Seriously do not act too smart about teaching me things. Asshole answer the question do not even try to be a bloody smart ass. Seriously pisses me off!!!' she yelled.

Rose looked at Kate quizically.

'A bout of Jimmutitus' Kate shrugged.

'What do we do?!' Meg said desperately.

'As long as Henri doesnt suck Phily's toe, the curse will remain in place and the princess will remain in a slumber forever' said Rose.

Kate stroked her chin, 'so technically, we could just SAY Phily's dead? As long as we keep any qualified medical staff away from her?'.

'I guess' Rose said. 'Can I go now?'.

'Yeah, bye', Kate said.

'How are we gonna keep everyone away from Phily?' Meg asked. 

By this point Kate was running out of patience with her co-conspirator and her incessant questions.

'HEY FUCKER, DID I ASK YOU ANYTHING???? DID I??? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!' Kate screamed.

'Uh oh you've done it now' Charlotte sniggered.

Meghan was stunned, 'but I-i-i-i was just asking, we're running out of time'

'WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU BITCH FOR YOUR SHIT OPINION??? BLOODY FUCKING BITCH!!! GET A LIFE!!!'

'Ok ok I'm sorry Kate!'

'MAYBE IF YOU HAD SHUT THE FUCK UP I WOULDN'T BE SCOLDING YOU NOW!!! FUCKER!!! Just shut up and let me think'.

Kate closed her eyes and thought for approximately 10 seconds. In the meantime, Charlotte took off her sock and stuffed it in Meg's mouth to stop any more questions.

When Kate was done thinking, she strode over to the window and flung it open. Beneath her was the sprawling gardens of Kensington Palace.

She took a deep breath and yodelled out of the window 'EUUUUUUGBEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!!!!!!'

Meghan wanted to ask who Eugbea was but she didnt dare.

Within 5 seconds, a figure came running up the lawn. Charlotte leant on the window frame watching the woman run 'urgh her dress is SO tragic'.

'Meg get over here, lean your head back like this', Kate said.

Both woman stuck their heads out of the window and their hair tumbled to the ground.

When Eugbea reached the bottom of the window, she said 'I think I should go up the stairs'

'SHOVE WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!! Get up here!' Kate hollered.

Eugbea knew better than to argue and began climbing up the wall using the hair as ropes. Finally she made it to the top and clambered into the bedroom.

As soon as she saw Phily lying unconscious on the bed, she let out an inhumane wail. Phily was like the sister Eugbea never had.

'There there, let it out' Kate said, patting her back, suddenly kind. Charlotte stood underneath her catching her tears in her hands.

As usual, Meghan was perplexed so Charlotte filled her in whispering 'this is Eugbea, a blood princess. Blood princesses cry diamond tears so I'm collecting them to make a cage for Phily.'

Meg didnt understand how Charlotte had worked all of this out in the minute that had gone past, but she wanted it to work so bad that she too patted Eugbea's back.

Eugbea turned around nervously at the touch, 'w-w-who are you?'

'No time for that' Kate said, poking her in the eye.

Eugbea cried even more until there were enough diamonds to build the cage.

At once, Charlotte threw the diamonds in the air and they cascaded down in the shape of a dome around Phily, creating a solid diamond barrier.

Once they had ensured nobody could get through it by repeatedly shoving Eugbea against it, Kate pushed her back out of the window and slammed it shut.

'We ready girls? Put on your best sad faces'. They all turned their smiles upside down and Kate pressed her engagement ring.

Willy came flying up the stairs with the boys and Libby. Henri stormed towards his love.

'What is this!' he asked in dismay, looking at Phily through the dome.

Meg began to cry dramatically, 'Dr Rose did everything she could but it wasnt enough, she's gone!!!'

Henri fell flat on his back like a plank, 'NoOoOoOoOoOoOoooooooOOOO!'

Libby ran over and began to sing 'Memory' from Cats in a beautiful operatic voice (the musical version, not the movie one because Libby had refined tastes).

"Touch meeeeee,

It is so easy to leave meeeeee

All alone with the memoryyyyyyyy

Of my days in the suuun

If you touch me,

You'll understand what happiness is

Look, a new day has beguuuuuuuuun"

***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm5w7gHEtJI

----

No public outcry was big enough for Phily. So the royal family decided to send her diamond tomb around the commonwealth via boat (not environmentally unfriendly jet) so her people could say goodbye personally. She was pulled over dying land on a horse and cart, and people threw seeds at her tomb instead of flowers. This meant that the land would become nourished once more.

Even when dead, Phily was working.

After 6 months of travelling, she returned to the UK and was placed in the Windsor Castle tomb with all the greatest kings and queens of England. Luckily for Meg, no one had noticed that Phily was indeed alive.

Henri was devestated but continued to work, alongside Libby.

The public love for Phily had meant that the Cambridges were provisionally forgiven and they moved back into KP on the condition that they undertook at least one engagement a year.

Meghan Markle had remained in Nottingham Cottage to support Henri while flying (not boating) back and forth to Canada to film her show Suits.

Meg had not tried to seduce Henri's nethers as she knew she must gain the public's trust first and act as a good friend.

But she couldnt wait any longer. Since Kate had moved home, she wanted nothing more to do with Meg, so she had concocted a new plan all by herself.

One evening, Henri was carving scultptures for the PPPCT - Princess Philanthropina Pauper Conservation Trust. Meg was in the kitchen roasting a chicken and wafting the smell towards Henri to replicate the cozy vibes Phily always managed to make.

'H, I was thinking for the 6 months anniversary of Phily's passing, we should have an event, the public need to be cheered up' she said, sounding philanthropic.

'A wonderful idea to think of the people of Britain and the commomwealth Meghan, what shall we do?'

'Mmmmmm, well what cheers the British more than anything?' she asked innocently.

'There are only 2 things that cheer Brits. Winning a sport and a royal wedding for a SENIOR member of the family', Henri said.

Meg smirked to herself, he'd bought it hook, line and sinker. 'We cant cheat in sport so maybe a royal wedding is our only option!'

'But we have no single members left that are loved enough' H said dumbly.

Meg rolled her eyes behind his back. 'Well you are single H, and no one is more loved than you!'

H gasped. 'I couldn't!'

Meg, wearing a British flag dress batted her eyelashes. 'Phily is gone and she'd want you to be happy. But she'd want you to make the British people happier'.

H thought for 1.5 seconds and decided she was right. He scolded himself for being selfish, Phily WOULD want him to serve the people above anything else.

'You're right Meghan, but who would I marry?'

'It's funny you asked because I found this in between Phily's reuable sanitary pads' she pulled out a ring box and opened it. Inside was a diamond engagement ring. 'Phily must have had it made, just in case this happened'.

H wept, 'oh my love was so kind!'.

Meg accidently on purpose dropped it on the floor and when Henri gallantly bent on one knee to pick it up, she yelled 'YES!'

'Um what?'

'YES I'LL MARRY YOU!' she grabbed Henri by the collar and pulled him into a hug, planting a big kiss on his perfect lips.

Henri was speechless. It seemed he had just proposed.

And just like that, Meghan Markle and Henri, the Prince of the People, were engaged to be married!

[agirlinhell-a]

Top 5 OTPs

Tagged by @aesthetic-survivor-of-twd (thank you my love!!)

These are all TWDG pairings, canon or otherwise. Note that you may or may not agree with the following OTP’s I have below or the reasons I ship said ships, but all I ask is that you respect my opinions like a kind human being and not antagonize me for my beliefs. Some meta descriptions are longer than others, but this is merely because I have more to say about certain ships than others, not necessarily because I prefer one ship over another. This also doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m necessarily shipping Clem currently with all of the muses present that are shipped with her in this meme, but it’s my opinion - please respect it, even if your opinions differ. There is more beneath the cut, for length and to avoid possible (and unwanted) conflict.

Tagging some folks!! @bowsofregret @keptmanners @deadmasked @victoryvii @dcadrct @thewalkingclementine @reekcd and anyone else who wishes to do this!!

1) Louis &&. Clementine (Louisentine)

God, I could go on and on on how much I love these two. They’re literally a parallel to Omid and Christa and I find that to be really beautiful and it’s almost like they’re surpassing them and they have the potential to have a future that Omid and Christa tragically could never have had. I know a some people don’t like parallels, but I think that’s pretty stupid because parallels are extremely common in fiction. Telltale’s The Walking Dead is no exception, and the writers have proven time and again that they are fans of parallels. Take Clementine and AJ’s relationship, for example. Their relationship is a parallel to that of Lee and Clementine, albeit with a few key differences. Parallels are neither good nor bad, but they do exist in this series. Louis is Clementine’s sunshine where her skies are dark and grey. Louis is literally like one of the nicest people on the planet who doesn’t ask for anything from Clementine, he just wants to be happy and to have fun in a world on fire, but is also deathly serious when the situation calls for it, and he literally looks at her like she’s his whole world. He’s everything that Clem’s ever wanted, I think, and their scenes really pull on my heartstrings. In more personal situations, Clementine would likely come to appreciate Louis’ artistic mind because I think she has an eye for beauty, but not in the sense that she’s vain, but she also wouldn’t be afraid to call Louis out if he’s doing something she doesn’t like.

Louis is flamboyant, showy, and always wants to be the center of attention. He is a performer in every sense of the word, and a performer needs an audience. Louis frequently talks about living life in the present, taking the time to explain it to anyone who will listen. Louis revels in this philosophy of his and I would argue that his artistic expression is grounded heavily in emotional fulfillment could even go so far as to say that Louis feels that it is his destiny to enlighten the ignorant, dreary world about true art, beauty, and the worth of life and death, even when the world is ending. When I see Louis telling people about his beliefs, I see him as a zealot on a crusade to force the world to see, understand, and accept what is right and true: namely, his vision. This is the only way Louis knows how to live, and it eventually becomes the only way he knows how to die. My reasons for shipping these two boil down to this: I think they would provide for each other what they respectively lack, and that exchange would make them realize both their faults and their strengths. Louis and Clementine would make each other infinitely better than they were before. They would also catalyze each other’s destinies in a positive way, completing each other’s character development in a way that has not (yet) been shown completed in canon.

First, I think Clementine is the kind of person who, after much personal struggle, would come to understand Louis’ point of view about art, beauty, life, and death. Louis, by contrast, lives and breathes his art. It is his life, his reason for being. It’s his destiny, and it controls him. Paradoxically, he finds freedom in that very destiny, though he also cannot escape it. In talking to Clementine about his way of living his life, Louis would impart to her something she has lost in many ways: passion. Louis lives every moment as though it is his last because he knows it could be. And this doesn’t scare him at all; rather, it makes his life that much more worthwhile. He lives according to his art and his way of life: explosively, passionately, and unabashedly. If Clementine could only witness this in a meaningful way, she could apply the concept to her life and change for the better.

Louis would remind Clementine of her own passion for living, and she would find the inspiration to take back what’s rightfully hers: her life, her happiness, her dignity, and her destiny. It wouldn’t come easily or quickly. This kind of raw honesty and passion would force Clementine to wake up and realize that this dreary life is not enough, that she can do more where others never could. His passion would be so overwhelming and stifling that she wouldn’t know how to breathe around him. But with time, I think Clementine is the kind of person to watch someone closely and learn from them. She did it with Lee and every other mentor she’s had and I think she couldn’t help but do it with Louis. He would bring her to life, just as he brings his art to life. On the other hand, Clementine would teach Louis something he has long forgotten or, perhaps, never quite knew: that people are not just faceless spectators that can never understand him, but living, loving entities who are moved and inspired by him. Clem would give Louis the one thing he’s always wanted, loving attention, but she would do it not as an audience member. Instead, she would inadvertently invade his world and stand by him on the stage he sees himself performing upon. Suddenly, Louis is not alone under the spotlight, but joined by someone who cares, someone who can understand, someone who wants to stand by him. Clementine would “see” Louis not just as a magnificent performer, but as a man who’s looking for the same thing she is: hope for a better world. This kind of mutual acknowledgement is something that makes me ship characters like it’s going out of style. It’s present in everything I ship, and it’s lacking in ships I could never see myself liking. Louis teaches Clementine to seize her own destiny instead of running from it and to live each day like it’s her last, and teaches her that people can be beautiful, too. And eventually, she starts to wonder why she’s been living in darkness when she could have all the light in the world.

...AND THEY’RE CANON!

2) Violet &&. Clementine (Violetine)

I stan the shit out of LGBTQA+ couples and honestly, even despite all the balogna about the whole Clementine/Minerva/Louis/Violet situation in the most recent episode, I still really adore them. The scene on the rooftop is honestly such a romantic scene to me, I really felt a sense of intimacy between them. I really felt Violet’s “a bird is free” up on the belltower, and the dance scene - it really hit home for me. It was really romantic and I love how intimate they were.

...AND THEY’RE CANON!

3) Aasim &&. Ruby (Rusim)

Just... LOOK AT THEM. They’re adorable! I think they really compliment each other and I’m really hopeful that they’re a ship in the fandom that doesn’t have Clementine in a ship. I love Clem and all, but.. c’mon now. Give the other kiddos some loving. I stan an awkward Pakistani nerd who loves to write and almost always has bad luck and a fierce southern belle with a kind heart with healing hands. They have a lot of chemistry of enduring through the apocalypse together and I truly hope that they actually become canon, because otherwise, I think it’d be such a waste of potential. I really think that if, god forbid, Clementine, Violet and Louis were to die, Clementine would have entrusted AJ to their care. I think they’d be such good foster parents. Aasim and Ruby are such a power couple, and @plannedahead​ and @keptmanners​‘ portrayals of Aasim and Ruby and their relationship respectively only boosts my love for this ship by a thousandfold and I would stan the shit out of their post-apocalyptic kingdom.

4) Marlon &&. Clementine (Marlontine)

Now before anyone begins to jump down my throat, I’m not saying this ship is canon, nor am I saying they ever will be (obviously). I’m saying their connection during the time they interacted was real, intimate, and lasting to the point that their ship is not something out of left field, but rooted in concrete canon events and development. Whether you like Marlontine, don’t ship it but are willing to be open-minded, or are simply intrigued enough to see what the hell kind of crazy I might be talking about this time, I would encourage you to read and think on the possibilities of this ship. This is not a ship bashing post, a character hate post, or an attempt to undermine any “rival” ships/characters. This is simply my interpretation of Marlontine and the reasons that have led me to ship them. 

I’m not trying to turn this section into a pro-Marlontine meta. I realize most of this is all speculation, and again, I’m not trying to convince anyone that any of this is canon or even that it should be canon. But I have my reasons for shipping it, and I think they make a lot of sense given the canon context the writers have shown us to date. It even enhances and strengthens the themes of progress, hope, and resolution that the series is fond of. And isn’t that what this series is all about? Fixing the sins of the past and making way for a brighter future? Telltale’s The Walking Dead is all about the new generation surpassing the old. It teaches hope, progress, and forgiveness through teamwork, family, friendship, and love, even when all seems lost. We’ve seen this theme over and over and over, such as when Lee trained Clementine, and she ended up surpassing him. We see it personified in the Garcia family. We saw it with Clementine and James encouraging her to see walkers as more than just monsters who do nothing but kill and devour their prey, but as individuals with a soul. I could go on, but you get the point. 

I can understand why a lot of people do not ship this, I’m an understanding person. Now, I’m not saying I condone Marlon’s actions - what he did was horrible and I’m not gonna pretend that he’s an angel, because he’s most certainly not. I don’t think it would’ve worked out in canon for obvious reasons, as Marlon is dead in canon and I think at that point in time, even if he had lived, a romantic relationship with Clementine would take a long while, if at all. In an alternate universe, it is plausible. They’d be messy, there’s no question about that, but I do look for the positives. Think about it this way: when was the last time anyone has ever genuinely tried to help Clementine with her fears, when she was feeling vulnerable and threatened, in all those years ever since Lee died? Marlon was the only person who actually tried to help her with her fear of dogs, in this case, Rosie, when he genuinely didn’t have to. He didn’t have to comfort Clementine after Louis unintentionally had Clementine remember her dark past in a way that was unwanted, he didn’t even have to save Clementine and AJ from the car accident at all. Marlon wasn’t a monster, he’s made a lot of mistakes, but he was only a boy trying to take care of his people, a duty that’s been placed on his shoulders ever since he was a little boy, even though his methods were certainly questionable, and that only scratches the tip of the iceberg. They both have a lot of bravado and know what it’s like to take care of a group of people when the world was falling apart. I feel as if they have a similar mindset, from trying to protect the only things left to them that are precious, or die trying. 

There is acknowledgement, mutual understanding, a willingness to listen to each other, and meaningful respect between them before the end of 4x1. There are undertones of attraction and admiration between them, perhaps not in a romantic sense but there’s definitely something there. They are moved by each other, inspired and awed by each other, and ultimately fascinated to the point that they cannot even express themselves in words. Their meeting turns their worlds upside-down, literally and figuratively, and that impression stays with Marlon. 

Before the ending of Done Running, they both have mutual acknowledgment and respect for each other, and Marlon also acknowledges and respects Clementine’s abilities as well, and Clem does not shy away from bluntly speaking her mind to him. She doesn’t see him as someone who’s better than herself, or very far away and out of reach; she doesn’t see him as a goal, either. Clementine sees him for who he really is. Marlon, a guy who is very loyal to his cause, a guy whose cockiness makes him underestimate his enemies and his situation and gets his ass handed to him. A top-class bluffer who acts as if he were always in control, while that usually isn’t quite the case. But a guy who is naturally kind and who has a strong will and determination. Someone who would never allow anyone to walk all over him, and who is authoritative and capable to make others follow his lead with a mere look because he’s proven himself worthy of it in the past a thousand times over. A guy who has suffered countless losses, a guy who struggles everyday, a guy who has gone through a lot of pain in his life. Just like her. They’re self-confident, strong-willed souls that give an authoritative air and do not yield to anyone. They keep their cool in most situations and rarely if ever show a softer side. They like to act tough and aren’t afraid to speak their minds; even when facing a strong adversary they’ll treat him/her as if he/she were the scum of the earth. They’re both observant and they’re also full of bravado - something that spawns from their confidence. They’re also prone to bluff and conceal their feelings. 

Marlon did not wake up one day and decide, “Hey, I think I’ll trade Clementine and AJ and kill Brody for the lulz.” He did it as a conscious action, but that state of mind he was in was a product of the depravity into which he had fallen. Insane people in the real world are not necessarily babbling idiots. They can be very aware of themselves and still suffer from emotional sickness. Marlon’s situation is similar in that regard, and this is what I say that Marlon was “not himself.” during the ending of Done Running. You cannot reason with someone who is not in his right mind. Does this excuse his actions in any way? Does it make him a pity case to be forgiven and swooned over? Absolutely not, and you will not find me or anyone else of at least marginal intelligence attempting such foolery. You don’t have to like Marlon or approve of his actions, but it’s not fair to classify them as something they are not, and it is equally as unfair to take out one’s own frustrations with his character on people who happen to like him, flaws notwithstanding.

Therefore, his decision to frame Clementine for Brody’s death, unsuccessful as it proved to be, was motivated not by his true feelings, but by his circumstances. Clementine had nothing to do with that descent into darkness, but she was in the wrong place at the right time to experience its consequences. Marlon did leave Clementine for dead, and that is horrible no matter how you spin it. I think what he did was wrong, madness or not. What he almost did to her and AJ was just as wrong, and had Marlon survived 4x1, they would’ve both deserved apologies or something equally as sincere before there can be any true reconciliation. This is just me speaking from the actions of his character independent of shipping. What he did was messed up regardless. But... to find ultimate peace, redemption and happiness with the person whose very existence drove him past the point of no return would have been, in my eyes, the best possible romantic ending for Marlon’s character given the development Telltale has given him up until this point, if Marlon would have have a romantic relationship at all. In fact, if the raiders had never returned, Marlon would have never betrayed Clementine in the first place, and who knows what their relationship could’ve become.

I think they might have something in common that could realistically tie their canon personalities together. He respected her, acknowledged her, saw her, not just as a survivor, but as a person. Things like lingering eye contact, visible evidence of listening to the other person, even the begrudging compliments here and there are all the visual signs of intimate acknowledgment and that’s why I have chosen to highlight them. Certainly, Marlon and Clementine stands strong as a ship without any of this but it’s more of an added bonus for those who choose to find meaning in it. Clementine has experienced loss and tragedy that has broken her soul. Marlon could relate - perhaps not to the extent of Clementine as we do not know specifically what he has been through in terms of loss (SOMEONE GIVE US A PRE-CLEMENTINE/AJ ERICSON’S DLC), but from a very young age, Marlon and everyone else at Ericson’s has had to face abandonment and betrayal by the very people who were supposed to protect them and make them better individuals, and Marlon had to take care of forty six children for seven years in the apocalypse, all at a very young age. Clementine would be the type never to want to appear weak by virtue of her position, but Marlon is an outsider who understands more than he cares to admit. There was a lot of room for beautiful development between them in that kind of situation, romantic or otherwise.

Because together, they could be able to transcend their own misconstrued beliefs and shortcomings to achieve a deeper understanding of what truly matters to them individually. They make each other better than they were before, and they’d value that mutual effect. That kind of lasting effect, the willingness to become a better person and owning up to past mistakes, the severe change in ideals for the better, and the rediscovery of one’s own humanity on Marlon’s part that I can truly see them having is so beautiful to me that I cannot imagine not shipping them. I think so far, Marlontine is one of the only crack ships that I can honestly say makes both characters so much better, enlightened, and worthy just as much as some other “canon” ships. Their relationship is so carefully construed, so poetically rendered and so beautiful to me that it is impossible, in my opinion, to see them as anything other than forces to better each other., but in the end, ended up opposing each other It is not a stereotype. It is not a trope. It is not a cliche. It is not horrifying or demonizing or cruel. It is a journey in which two people, figurative embodiments of night and day, find the horizon that both divides and connects them. It becomes all they can see, and all that they want to see.

For me, a ship has to have the makings of mutual acknowledgment, growth, and positive interaction, whether it’s crack or canon. In an AU, I think Marlon and Clementine could have that in spades if put in the appropriate situation. I think their characters would gravitate naturally toward each other as professional partners, as friends, or as lovers. 

They just never got that chance in canon.

Do you ship this yet. Do you see how they could work. Do you understand why they are plausible in an AU setting.

If you do, bless your soul, if not, that’s totally alright!

5) Mitch x Clementine (Mitchentine)

I’m honestly surprised that Mitch and Clementine made a spot on this list but I just really like the dynamic they had, be it friendship, rivalry or something else entirely. Although, in an AU scenario, if I were to look at it logically, I can never see Mitch and Clementine as a pair last a really long time due to circumstances be it due to Mitch rushing into a fight or conflicting opinions, I really liked the vibe that they had.

Clementine is confident and compassionate, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone.  Still, she is first and foremost a supportive, dependable person able to get people to be proactive. Mitch is a bit of a thrill seeker.  Initially, he seems indifferent to the existence of others, but we see him have a strong bond with the rest of the residents at the school and especially Willy. When push comes to shove, he puts his life on the line to help the people he cares about, seeing as how he attacked Lilly in order to protect Tennessee.  All the while, he maintains that smart-ass, sarcastic attitude. He’s also a bit of a sadist, I think, and likes to push people beyond their comfort zones. Their relationship would be built upon mutual respect and laughter, with the occasional lewd but endearing comment. They fight a lot, but at the end of the day they realize they work. He keeps her down to earth and appreciating simple things, and she gives him the attention he needs and the straightforward truths no one else will tell him. They don’t let each other get way with anything, and as a result they are honest, reliable, and fully aware of the other’s intentions. They have so much fun being in each others’ company that they can’t get enough of each other, even when they’re fighting.

Clementine is strong-willed, no-nonsense, and highly practical. Mitch is volatile, unpredictable, and likes to plan things on the fly. They would balance each other out perfectly in battle, and they would fill the gaps where the other is lacking, and she wouldn’t be above calling him out on his bullshit whenever necessary. This keeps Mitch grounded and forces him to think things through a little more. In turn, Mitch helps Clem loosen up a bit and smile more and dare her to do things that she never would’ve thought of. She doesn’t do that a lot, and I can see him trying to get her to laugh once just to prove that he can, arrogant ass that he is. He marvels at her ability to read people because he just cannot, and she cannot help but wonder at how passionate he is, seeing him come to life right before her eyes. He is so different from anyone else she’s ever met that it’s actually quite shocking.

Tragically, their relationship would not be meant to last, though. In this scenario, Mitch may love her, but he cannot escape his destiny, which revolves around his love for fire and destruction. Mitch has always been the type to play with fire. I think Mitch the type to die young, as in canon. But Clementine would live on, and she would understand Mitch’s death. She would remember him forever and be sad that he’s gone, but she would understand that Mitch can be no other way. This is what she loves and admires about him: his courage to face life and death while never compromising his passion. His death would be magnificent and instantaneous, just as his life was and just as their relationship would be. Mitch would die knowing she truly understood and loved him, and she would live knowing that he’d saved her and loved her as much as a person like him can love another. Each would embrace his or her destiny because of the encouragement of the other.

Do you ship this yet. Do you see how they could work. Do you understand why they are plausible in an AU setting.

If you do, bless your soul, if not, that’s totally alright!

I gotta owe this one to @thewalkingclementine​ because my dear Emma was the one who came up with the idea and we both decided that they could totally work. It was the only ship I’ve ever stumbled upon by chance through writing, so that’s why I like it so much. They seem very natural, so much so that I never planned on shipping it. I think that’s pretty cool. Crack pairings are great, and they’re a ton of fun, and Mitch and Clementine are no exception.

I just have a thing for really complex and/or tragic ships.

There are many characters that have little or no meaningful canon interaction but who, I feel, would have a strong connection given the right AU twist of events or circumstance. I like the idea of putting characters together and seeing what happens, what could have been. I think any pairing, any group of characters, and any outcome is possible if the author takes the time to get to know the characters and what they believe. I’m not saying this is possible for every single character ever (Luke/S2!Clementine for example - sorry I had to bring that up -because that’s just asinine no matter how you look at it), but if you can ask yourself, “What if Clementine had never left Howe’s back in Season 2? What if Lee had lived through the events of Season 1? What if Clementine became a Whisperer?” These questions are always the jumping-off point for me, and then the rest is just sitting back and watching what happens. I really enjoy that part the most, and it’s why I like writing. Canon is nice to have, but I don’t consider it necessary to make a good story.

On that regard, a few honorable mentions: Omid/Christa, Luke/Jane, Javi/Jesus and Gabe/Clementine are pretty cute too, and those are only my selections from TWDG. I also like Rhaegar/Lyanna from ASOIAF/GOT.

Thank you so much for reading, have a beautiful day!

[yoongisgoawaydoormat]

Is yoongi your fave in bts? I just today stumbled over a video of bts and watched and now 100 videos later i really think i kinda like them and especially Yoongi. He is such a sweetheart. so as a fellow 1d stan now into bts i wanted to know if louis was your fave and if yoongi is in bts? Cause i find it quite interesting to know^^'

ok so i have some esoteric ramblings that go far beyond the yes or no question you asked me here lmao... i guess im just feeling very “in this essay i will-” rn because of how much i truly adore both of them. also this basically turned into a personal diary entry but also simultaneously a cultural studies essay on how we make meaning in celebrities so like..... 🤷🏼‍♀️

@gettingaphdinmomo can u believe this anon let me merge 1d and bts? im indebted to them tbh

so yeah yoongi is my bias in bts and louis was always my fave in 1d! (well zayn too but z isn’t a member of 1d - tho i think he relates to some of the points im going to make here as well) and coincidentally i’ve actually been doing like... some self-psychoanalysis recently just reflecting on what my affection for louis and yoongi says about me, says about them, etc... just been thinkin’ ya know?

and i just feel like yoongi and louis are 2 sides of the same coin and it’s a coin that i distinctly Relate to and i’ll explain why. both yoongi and louis have very distinct caricature-type reputations on the surface. both vis-a-vis their role in their respective groups and in relation to the personalities that we see/they show us. 

and what i mean by that is that louis is known as loud, brash, exuberant (formerly camp and flamboyant as well, though im not even gonna try to get Into A Discussion of That rn); to most people that do not take the time to go far beyond the surface, that’s kind of louis’ whole deal, right? (again this isn’t a discussion of public opinion of louis and doesn’t account for how his various stories/stunts/‘relationships’ would impact people’s view of him)... yoongi is sort of in the same boat but on the opposite end of the spectrum if that makes sense? he’s the tsundere member. he’s seen as cold, distant, has dry humor, doesn’t like to show affection, etc. that’s what the caricature of min yoongi is.

but everyone who is a fan of either of them knows that neither of those caricatures are wholly accurate and that the caricatures belie an emotional depth and intelligence that both of them very clearly possess.

we can never know even a fraction of public figures’ personalities, but to the small extent that we do get glimpses, yoongi and louis are both individuals who clearly care very deeply about others. they are attentive to the emotions of those around them and they are supportive and nurturing in their own ways. but at the same time neither of them are overtly touchy-feely about it if that makes sense? their empathy is exhibited subtly but it runs deep. their demonstrations of caring and compassion are nuanced behind layers of something else. 

for louis, i think there’s always a bit of humor layered on top of his emotional displays (i.e. giving liam a hard time about being a ‘lad’). and i see myself in that. i use humor as a defense mechanism and couch everything serious in my life in a joke, for better or worse. again, im not saying that that’s what louis is or does in real life, i’ll never know nor would i presume to, but i am saying that i see something of myself reflected in Louis Tomlinson™ and among a million other reasons to love him i think that is one of the reasons i’ve always been drawn to him. he’s so compassionate and caring but you have to make sure you’re not distracted by his bright loudness to miss it. in addition to seeing myself reflected in louis, i also admire so much about him that i am not but aspire to be more like. i wish i could be more extroverted like him and i wish i could be a bright presence for the people around me like i know he is. so with louis i see myself and i see traits that inspire me to go outside my comfort zone and push my own boundaries.

for yoongi, the soft sweet infp that he is, i think his emotional displays are equally as subtle and layered behind a bit of stoicism and a bit of introversion and a bit of being very carefully selective about who he lets in. his displays of affection and caring are alway there but are not done to be viewed and given great attention (i.e. his hand holding). i don’t think yoongi much likes being the center of attention and would much rather have his members be that (lol @ jimin) but at the same time he has moments where his energy just bursts forth. these are moments where he’s clearly so comfortable with his surroundings and the people he’s with that he feels no need to be measured or restrained. again, this is all my interpretation of what i see and is thus filtered and distilled so many times that i’d never presume to state all of this as some factual evaluation of yoongi’s personality, but also again, i see myself in these observations and interpretations of yoongi. i find it very difficult to express my emotions (see the above point about couching everything in humor) but they are there and they are felt deeply and they show themselves in subtler ways. i find it difficult to display affection with even my closest friends and family but am also just a touch-starved bitch looking to hold someone’s hand like yoongi is always doing. i too sometimes begin to feel comfortable enough with those around me that my passion and excitement just bursts forth all at once, but only sometimes, otherwise im hyper conscious of myself and tend to self-police if i have not reached such a comfort level. i see a lot of that in Min Yoongi™. but like with louis i also see a lot in yoongi that i strive to be more like. i struggle with the weight of my own expectations for myself and i internalize A Lot, as yoongi seems to, but yoongi also demonstrates such a clarity of self when it comes to these things. i think he Knows himself quite well, which is something i’d like to be better at. i think his self awareness (something i think namjoon also has in spades) and his work ethic are admirable and inspire me greatly. he just seems so Lucid Perceptive and Insightful about his situation, and that encourages me to be more honest with myself about my own situation.

and like maybe this is all just a diatribe that could be applied by anyone to their fave celeb? there’s levels to abstraction to every celebrity and there’s always interpolation/projection our own traits, neuroses, insecurities, desires, etc. onto how we view our favorite celebs... but idk there seems to be something slightly different with celebs like yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon actually now that i think about it). 

like let’s contrast it with other 1d and bts members: jin and hobi have carefully constructed the way they want to be seen and they don’t let people see much beyond that (and they’re So Valid for that). i actually think niall is quite a lot like this as well. the caricature is the whole picture that we get if that makes sense (though of course not even a fraction of the whole person which we are not nor should we be privy to) but its still a human picture, its still rooted in a sense and a feeling of authenticity; it just has its boundaries and is clear about those boundaries. thus the consumer public gets a discrete, self-contained persona whose likeability isn’t necessarily dependent on the consumer’s ability to relate or see themselves in the persona but rather is simply likeable!

then you have liam and jungkook who i see as quite similar in some ways for some reason (which im sure is gonna get me yelled at lmao). i dont mean that i think they’re similar people just that i think both of them are quite earnest and what you see is what you get with them. i don’t think either of them have it in them to pull a jin/hobi/harry (see below) and construct/be viligent about the boundaries of their persona. i think tae and jimin are mostly like this as well. they’re all just kind of unapologetically themselves (liam particularly after 1d ended, tho i know that, ironically, many feel he’s a bit of a poser nowadays)? i see these types of figures as similar to the type above just with less stable boundaries/less concern for those boundaries.

then you have harry whose caricature is constructed to be larger than life, to be almost non-human in its Celeb-ification. Harry Styles™ is not meant to allow for reflection of yourself in it. the consumer is not supposed to find parts of themselves relating to Harry Styles™, that defeats the purposes of the larger than lifeness of Harry Styles™. (i know this sounds bad and don’t get me wrong i do hate harry lol but i also don’t think this is an inherently Bad way to be a celebrity. it’s the david bowie, lady gaga [pre-joanne] school of celebrity and its fine, i just think it should be recognized for what it is and i think its very different from how bts and the other members of 1d operate [though i recognize that some people would view zayn in this light]).

personally i think yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, to account for everyone in this analysis here) don’t fit into the above categories. clearly i dont think any of these four are in the Harry Styles™-type camp (duh). but i also don’t think they fit into the authentic-but-carefully-boundaried jin/hobi/niall camp nor the what-you-see-is-what-you-get liam/maknae line camp. i think these 4 occupy a limbo space between the two ‘categories.’

anyways, the long and the short of it is that we all make our own meaning in celebrities. for me, i find myself drawn to yoongi and louis because i see traits of my own reflected back at the same time and in the same person that i see aspirational traits. im inspired and im comforted by this duality that yoongi and louis provide for me. i love all the members of 1d and bts (except harry lolz) but yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, who i’d say is my 2nd bias in bts if that wasn’t already clear) hold special places in my heart because of how they occupy my sort of nebulous fourth category of celebhood.

anyways, i’m pretty sure no one is still reading this, which i do Not blame you for, but that’s my two cents! i love min yoongi and louis tomlinson, whats new!!!!!!!!!

[ehentha]

Maldives Twitter VS Francesca Borri

Imagine getting harrassed on twitter by a bunch of people you claimed didn’t know english or have smart phones 😂

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

*smartphone 😫🔫

The Maldives is one of the most oppressive countries in the world. It has a constitution that makes the lives of non-Muslim and LGBT Maldivians illegal. This makes life incredibly difficult for any progressive Muslims that want to bring about reforms as well as saying anything against extremist sheikhs will get you labled an apostate. Progressive Muslims like @moyameehaa (Ahmed Rizwan / Rilwan) and @yaamyn (Yameen Rasheed) who have spoken out for Maldivian minorities, progressive Islam, and secularism have been taken away from us. Sheikhs are not safe either, as one of the only moderately progressive sheikhs, Afrasheem Ali, was also brutally murdered in 2012.

First they came for the bloggers, and I did not speak out Because I was not a blogger. Then they came for irreligious, and I did not speak out Because I was not laadheenee. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me.

— Mohamed Shuraih (@MohamedShuraih) January 27, 2019

The greatest battlefield in the war for the hearts and minds of Maldivians is the internet. Bloggers like Hilath Rasheed have been the targets of escalating campaigns of harassment and death threats. In 2012, Hilath himself barely survived his neck being slashed. This was after years of attacks against people deemed laadheenee.

Maldivian extremists have used the internet for their terror and propaganda activities. One of the earliest Maldivian extremist groups, of which Rilwan was an ex-member, called “dot” or “dotu” literally got it’s name from “dot com”. Right now there are dozens of terrorist recruitment facebook and twitter pages, telegram, whatsapp, and viber groups, and websites brainwashing Maldivians with extremist propaganda.

He made a list of “dhivehi kaafarun”. We reported his account and now he’s changed the name to “Dhivehi atheists”. But here is proof of the original name https://t.co/WvbfkKbMp1

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) June 16, 2018

Their latest efforts including making a list of Dhivehi Kaafarun (Maldivian infidels) on twitter (which twitter support refused to remove, the account is still active), and a telegram group called “MV Murtad Watch” (Maldives apostate watch). This has also not been removed despite even making the local news.

Maldivian extremists are free to spread hate on the internet. Especially if they use Dhivehi, a language that cannot be automatically translated. This means that the support staff of these platforms often don’t even know how to recognise hate and fear speech when it is written in Dhivehi.

Murtad Watch MV is still active on @telegram. They claim to not be making death threats.But they state multiple times the verdict for apostasy is death. After which they list pictures, names & personal info of alleged apostates. Calling stoning cruel is enough to get labeled one. pic.twitter.com/hqcOXAI0fb

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

murtad watch is like "these people are apostates & apostates should be killed. here are their personal info. BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT A THREAT" that's a death threat. why would police do anything? when these groups commit murder police's job has always been to cover up the murder

— 🎈Thihen Vany (@basneyheemaa) January 27, 2019

I hope I have set the scene for you. An intolerant constitution that outright bans thinking and freedom of conscience. Extremists getting away with murder, and using technology as a means of oppression in a highly connected and tech literate society while the multi-million dollar companies that run them turn a blind eye.

It’s so fucking insulting that Maldivians have to fear for their lives because of goddamn @telegram groups, but meanwhile there’s western experts writing books claiming we go gaga at the sight of an iPhone. I wish these terrorists didn’t use phones, would make our lives easier 🤬

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

#NowReading Destination Paradise - Among the jihadists of the Maldives pic.twitter.com/6y4E5BYQf5

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 21, 2019

Enter Francesca Borri with the radical insight that there is only one bookstore in Male’, all the while seeming to imply that most Maldivians don’t know English.

This book was published in 2017. It is factually incorrect. There’s only an Islamic bookstore? 🤦🏻‍♀️ This author is delusional. pic.twitter.com/ngPcG5yRhY

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

And that there is no local cuisine.

Page 39. “I think that the Maldives are the only country in the world where there is no local cuisine”. Okay. Now this is going too far 😡

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

And that Maldivians are amazed by smartphones.

Page 53. “A text arrives and my phone lights up... there’s an ooh of general amazement because it’s an iphone and no one has ever seen an iphone here”. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Seriously @francescaborri? Starting to doubt that you were even in Male’. Btw. Tweet sent from my iphone.

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

“While the rest of the world watched the Olympics, in the Maldives most people watched the battle of Aleppo. And rooted for al-Qaeda”. What? Which channel on medianet was the battle of Aleppo broadcasted on? pic.twitter.com/wSaOPpQKRR

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 21, 2019

But perhaps most insulting is the fact that we’d give a damn about the Olympics when we could be watching football. Also how the heck do you reckon people cut up the “Battle of Aleppo” for broadcast television? Do you think they had an HBO style miniseries?

Hey @francescaborri what medieval technology do you think this Maldivian terrorist group used to post this to Facebook? A 🥥 ? Can you help decipher the strange language they’ve used to threaten my life? I’m sending this via economy pigeon. May it reach you safely. Pls send halp. pic.twitter.com/wNvYbd06kZ

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

You get the picture. A hastily strung together piece of orientalist trash that makes the situation worse for people suffering because of Maldivian extremists. The last thing progressive Muslim, non-Muslim, and LGBT Maldivians need is more misinformation out there. Especially not from someone with a savior complex.

How can you trust anything written in this book when it features so many blatant fabrications? Fabrications deliberately worded to make Maldivians sound like backwards people rife with extremism who can’t read and are technology inept.

98% of our population had internet access five years ago. We have one of the highest tech proliferation and device per capita stats in the world. This isn't lazy research, this is outright malicious https://t.co/slgUtYcoYe

— Naailu🎈 (@kudanai) January 27, 2019

Well I’ll have you know us Maldivians are backwards people who are incredibly tech literate. And we can read too, to the shock of the author who is currently at the receiving end of the wrath of Maldives twitter.

Finally in bookstores. pic.twitter.com/ujRIg867gI

— francesca borri (@francescaborri) November 13, 2018

Here are some of the funniest and most insightful tweets directed at this latest savior who thought they could turn a profit on the suffering of the global south. These are the words of Maldivians speaking about their own country. Listen to them.

Lmao loving how conservatives and liberals are uniting against the mostly false portrayal of our country by @francescaborri . Nobody can trash-talk Maldivians except us amirite? 🇲🇻

— 🎈Nora Nazeer ✨ (@NoraNazeer) January 27, 2019

When western "journalists" parachute in to a South Asian country and assume they know everything and that they are always right. A Frenchman, who did the same, told me after visiting Maldives that Borri "took a lot of liberty" when writing her book. As in, she made up stories. https://t.co/wnBPUZgoi1

— Junayd 🇲🇻 (@mjunayd) January 27, 2019

But you could see how it perpetuates an idea of Maldivians that’s quite patronizing, even to the extent of orientalism, right? I mean, I do agree that extremism is at a critical stage here, but surely that could have been said without this inaccurate depiction of the rest?

— Aryj (@Arrryj) January 27, 2019

So tell me, how did you come up with this shit? 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 I graduated in an IGSE Cambridge examination back in 2008...from my island. Got an A in English. Even starting primary school, I had access to books from authors like Enid Blyton, R.L Stein and Louis Cooper... 🤦🏼‍♀️

— ShinyShine (@ShinyShine18) January 27, 2019

Might want search Google Maps for "bookshop" next time. This book is a blatant lie at this point. Even given the benefits of the doubt, this book falls short of acceptable. Tldr: Riddled with lies for dramatic purposes. pic.twitter.com/TXycTvAzqC

— A. A. Nawaz 🎈❓ (@aanawazu) January 27, 2019

When someone from the global north decides to do a book about one of the smallest countries in the global south without much research and one that won't easily be scrutinised for the factual inaccuracies, with sweeping generalisations, this happens. Awesome thread btw https://t.co/0TKA9KmHV4

— Ahmed Tholal🎈 (@Tholman_79) January 27, 2019

Whats an iPhone? Im tweeting on my iCoconut https://t.co/RPYxQKUFDR

— Faafa🎈 (@psychofart) January 27, 2019

Actually it’s Dhonmeeha: *whips out iPhone 6S* Mordis meeha : *whips out iPhone XS Max, iPad Pro, the New Mac book Air DJI Mavic pro, DJI Osmo and 2 GoPro Hero* https://t.co/nK3ux1I7VZ

— Simbro (@aachym) January 27, 2019

(“Dhon meehaa” literally means “fair skinned person”. It is the word used by Maldivians for “white people”. And it’s true, turn a Maldivian upside down and shake them little. The contents of an Apple Store will fall out).

the "worst parts" in the book are absolute lies. are we as maldivians not entitled to be upset over them? ignore them and move along? these are "facts" written by a "journalist" in a published book. https://t.co/2mFKGEw7hn

— ˗ˏˋ 𝑅𝒾𝒻𝑔𝒶 ˎˊ˗ (@MRifgaR) January 27, 2019

for the record i'm still a bit confused about your reviews @dbosley80 but ok. at least you made it clear that you don't recommend this book by @francescaborri pic.twitter.com/DUpatyXurX

— ˗ˏˋ 𝑅𝒾𝒻𝑔𝒶 ˎˊ˗ (@MRifgaR) January 27, 2019

Love it when white people feel the need to exaggerate and look down on an entire country and reduce their entire culture and history to what they came across in a day or two lol. pic.twitter.com/olIe8jDGoj

— Alhaaves NulaaFA (@ShafaRameez) January 27, 2019

I think the verdict of this would end up like, i condemn thee @francescaborri to 1 year of internship at Divehi Bahuge Academy 😅 so that by the time she's done there she can translate this godforsaken book to Divehi so us natives could actually learn about ourselves

— Aishath Ibahath (@AishathIbahath) January 27, 2019

Just had garudhiya, baiy, theluli faiy and theluli mas. The height of Italian cuisine!

— Junayd 🇲🇻 (@mjunayd) January 27, 2019

In Maldives we have no local cuisine to the point that when we attempted to make that shit, we sucked so much that we left it to cook for days and that is how we had rihaakuru and now we just eat that

— thikujja stan account (@ahunafu) January 27, 2019

If @francescaborri did her research properly she'd know about the dissent against extremists from Maldivians. Specially in our twitter community. I for one didn't applaud them as heroes. https://t.co/358lReKjMq

— 🎈Nora Nazeer ✨ (@NoraNazeer) January 27, 2019

At the end of the picture that sentence, is that saying the minority that speak English is rich and WHITE????

— Sharlight❓🎈 (@sjaufar) January 27, 2019

Shame these important interviews are in an a book with so many lies in it @francescaborri https://t.co/GeHpH5BU0m

— amani naseem 🎈 (@amaninaseem) January 27, 2019

Francesca Borri Vaguthu 🤝 Jaanalizam

— Threefish 🎈❓ (@three3fish) January 27, 2019

(vaguthu [“time” lol] is a Maldivian tabloid rag that primarily posts moral panic inducing “journalism” about Maldivian minorities).

Maldives has no local cuisine?!? I wasn't bothered when the author called us all extremists cause that's just typical white people racist fear mongering but NO LOCAL CUISINE?? Ive half a mind to make a thread about local cuisine & tag the author in it. https://t.co/QrpE3QPBcP

— Faafa🎈 (@psychofart) January 27, 2019

just because I am so offended I am going to write my whole masters thesis on Maldivian food

— Malsa Maaz (@malsamaaz) January 27, 2019

So fiction writers, here's a heads up. @7StoriesPress are very fond of fiction, specially investigative parody works. Ask franny @francescaborri she had the easiest of rides with that "Maldives in a Parallel Universe" work she did.

— Naif Naeem (@nAAYf) January 27, 2019

People like @francescaborri is what is wrong in the literary world, creating fake news with half truths to earn a buck. And also publishers, bookstores etc who support to push this garbage onto mainstream. Shame. https://t.co/Vi53939fLG

— p3st (@p3st) January 27, 2019

I read what was available on google because I’m not going to give a racist money - and yes, @francescaborri you’re racist.

— くたばれ🎈 (@hoshiyoshii) January 27, 2019

I’m tweeting from my iphone while I’m eating ‘Rihaakuru ‘ u know.., local cuisine. 😎 After finishing my food, I’m going to the ‘book store’ next to my house with English Arabic n international language books. 🖕🏼that’s for u 😉

— Jen (@jennasym) January 27, 2019

Hello uncultured jihadi Maldivians without bookstores tweeting using rocks and smoke signals or whatever, If you have a moment, please do send a messenger pigeon with your thoughts about @francescaborri’s book to google DOT com review What’s what? Click https://t.co/822PDLTTgR https://t.co/uR1UpoAFkm

— insaan🎈❔ (@pikomonster) January 27, 2019

people are saying @francescaborri makes sense despite exaggerating some stuff. but i think her “exaggerations” demonstrate an extremely skewed, clearly orientalist perspective which entirely rescinds her entire narrative. she lacks any coherent context. what a silly woman

— xiena saeed 🎈 (@dorinbakedbeans) January 27, 2019

Thanks @francescaborri. The roasting you're receiving is really entertaining. The tweets coming from iPhones are especially tasty. Almost as tasty as our cuisine, and now I'm craving some rihaakuru dhiya. Ta Ta, gonna go have some while I keep up with this roasting.

— Nomura-sama has slain Nabith (@nabithahmed) January 27, 2019

What an ignorant writer @francescaborri is! Our school system is based on the English language since decades ago—almost every Maldivian can converse in English. Many physical+online bookstores in Male. I own an iPhone. Tweet at me and I will send you recipe for Rihaakuru Dhiya https://t.co/TA773n5PgQ

— Maahil🌺❤️🍃 (@MaahilMohamed) January 27, 2019

How long was the research period to write this book? 😂 #localtweetingfromiphone

— Azza Rushdy (@UGLY_Y) January 27, 2019

Its from a parallel dimension...on Earth 51, maldives is like that 🤪 tuna has run out of the oceans and no more rihaakuru and palms sold to dubai hence no coconut for mashuni...

— p3st (@p3st) January 27, 2019

Your portrayal of maldives as backwards and having little or no indentity of its own (except the one you try so hard to force on your readers) is proof that you wrote this on hearsay and some internet research done whilst sitting on your ass at home.

— Ahusan (aka.Jack / Pusheen) (@awhosun) January 27, 2019

Hi @francescaborri, there are about 4 main bookstores with multiple outlets in Malé and many independent ones that stock many titles in English. This tweet was kindly translated to English by a member of the minority and sent from my garudhiya baiythashi. https://t.co/iSloEziYl1

— 🌞 (@izznzz) January 27, 2019

According to the author Maldives is the only country in the world with no local cuisine. So @francescaborri should I stop researching for my PhD on, guess what, LOCAL MALDIVIAN CUISINE? Shameful. https://t.co/7gntvUeCeV

— Mo S. (@moshen81) January 27, 2019

We have many qualified people capable of producing an accurate assessment of radicalisation in Raajje that @francescaborri so spectacularly failed at. If one good thing comes of this, can it be that? Or is it only the dhon meehaa who can talk abt it w/out fearing for their lives?

— Azka (@Azka__Anees) January 27, 2019

Nothing brings Maldivians together like a good roast.

Thank you @francescaborri. It's really nice to see you get roasted by a whole country, everyone together.

— Emaz (@emaaaz) January 27, 2019

[sairyn-noc]

It’s Complicated

If anyone asked Harvey Specter about his feelings surrounding love and relationships, his answer was short, clipped and always the same.   “It's complicated.”  

Harvey was as sure about that fact as he was about the ‘perfect game’, that there was no deal he couldn't close one way or another, and that Captain Kirk was the man in any galaxy. In other words, it was solid. That wasn't to say that Harvey was a stranger to love; no, he was very familiar with the heartache and destruction that always seemed to follow those particular emotions. Those seeds had been planted a long time ago. He couldn't have been more than eight the day he found the courage to ask his dad why he and his mom fought so much. The answer, after a quick kiss on his forehead? “It's complicated.” Harvey didn't understand at the time what that meant, but years later when he caught his mom cheating and she looked at him with shock and horror. He heard her answer his question of why the same way- it's complicated.  

If his childhood didn't show him that love was something to avoid altogether, his stabs at it as an adult rammed the message home. It's not as if he never tried. He did. More than once even, like if he tried it enough it would finally work. Insanity. Scottie- was a lesson within herself. Her love was like a drug Harvey couldn't shake until it nearly ruined him. When he met Zoe, Harvey really thought he had found the one. But just as he was ready to seal the deal, her life went in a different direction and that was the end of that. Then there was Donna. They shared one night and now, years later, she wanted a do-over. He still hadn't found a way to tell her he didn't. Recently there was Paula, though he should've known that relationship was doomed from the start. There were at least ten movies that showed why entering a relationship with your therapist was never a good idea. And he could never forget his brief but passionate “relationship” (if you could call great arguments and even greater sex a relationship), with his friend and mentor.  

So yes, in between a string of lovely bed warmers, Harvey had definitely entertained the idea of finding true love. But now that he was older, he was content knowing love was not in the cards for him. And that was just fine by him. Besides he was tired of living in turmoil. As he was putting the finishing touches on his tux, Harvey looked at his reflection sternly and made some decisions. He would get through the wedding, settle the shit with Donna and Paula, then - when Mike got back - rebuild the firm, together. Period. End of story. The days of Harvey Specter being ruled by other people's shit and emotions were over. Starting right the fuck…  

Finish on AO3

“Harvey?” Mike’s footsteps were rushing towards his room.  

“Yeah? I am almost done,” he answered easily.

Harvey looked up in time to see Mike coming through the door of his ensuite. His eyes were a bit wide and he was biting his lip like he often did when he was nervous. The two ends of his bowtie hung limply around his neck and he wouldn't meet Harvey’s gaze.  

“What is it, kid? Got cold feet or something?” Harvey joked.  

“Maybe,” he mumbled.  

“What? Use your grown-up voice for crying out loud. How in the world are you going to convince Rachel and everyone else you said, ‘I do’ when they can't hear you?”  

Harvey smiled, but Mike still wouldn't look up. Alarmed, Harvey walked over to where Mike was rooted to the floor.  

“Hey, Mike. What is it?”  

Like some switch had been flipped, Mike sprang into movement. “It’s... it's just this damn tie. I don't know why you insisted I wear the stupid thing, you know I can't tie it.”  

“Because bow ties are cool.”  

“Did you just quote The Doctor?”  

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Harvey smirked, glad to see a small smile creep along Mike’s features. “Come here. I’ll tie it.”

Bow, perfectly tied, Harvey stepped back to marvel at his handiwork.  

“How do I look?” Mike asked sheepishly.  

“Like a man who is ready to get married. Now let’s go, before Louis panics and decides to show up here and accuse me of shirking my best man duties.”  

The wedding venue was small, intimate. Just the way I would have done it, Harvey thought to himself. They were in a small anteroom waiting for things to get started when Harvey noticed that Mike once again looked off. He had started to pace and was mumbling to himself.  

“Hey, calm down over there. You're wearing a hole in the carpet. Everything is going to be fine.”  

Mike turned and started towards him. “Harvey, I have to tell you something, and I think waiting until after the wedding wouldn't be right.”  

Sensing bad news, Harvey felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Gift or curse, his gut instincts rarely let him down.  

“What is it, Mike? What are you struggling with?”  

Mike inhaled deeply, then turned Harvey’s world upside down.  

“What do you mean you are not coming back?” Harvey asked, his voice hollow and distant.  

“Rachel and I thought it would be best for both of us. And I agree. We need a clean start. I need a clean start. So, after the honeymoon, we will be moving…”  

Harvey didn't hear another word, the blood pounding in his ears blocked out everything else. His legs were moving, but he had no idea where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away, had to do… something. When Harvey was able to think again, he was bent over a nearby sink splashing water on his face. At least that’s what he thought he was doing. Despite the faucet being on, and his face being wet, his hands were dry. Breathing was another challenge. He couldn't breathe; couldn't catch his breath, even though he was taking in large gulps of air. His skin felt like it was on fire and someone was touching him, talking to him softly.  

“Harvey… Harvey, talk to me. Are you okay?”  

Jessica. Of course, it would be Jessica...  

“I…,” he started. “He...” His voice refused to cooperate. Shit. Harvey hadn't had a panic attack this bad in a long time.  

“Harvey, take your time. I’m right here.”  

“Jess. He’s leaving.”  

“Who? Who’s leaving?” she asked.  

“Mike...” he choked out.  

Jessica moved to lean against the sink and face him. A small smile graced her features.  

“Well, that's what usually happens when people get married. They go on a honeymoon. But then…,” she continued in a sing-song voice as if he were an idiot.  

“No, Jessica. He’s leaving. This isn't just a honeymoon. It’s goodbye.”  

Goodbye. The word took up residence in Harvey’s brain like a flashing neon sign- and all of a sudden everything became...simple.  

Mike was leaving. Yes, but that wasn't all, a small voice in his head cooed.

Mike wasn't coming back- closer, it continued.  

Harvey didn't want Mike to leave. Yes, and….

Harvey didn't want Mike to leave him. Almost there, genius.

Ever. Fuck. He loved him. He was in love with Mike. Jackpot!

The thought reverberated through him like an electric shock. Sure, Harvey could admit he had a few stray thoughts of Mike- like how his lips would taste, or how he would feel stretched out beneath him, but those were few and far between. Sort of. But that didn't mean he was in love with the guy, did it?  

“Finally get there?” she asked.  

“What?”

“For a smart man, you can be pretty dumb. I've been watching you hide from your feelings for Mike for years. I did think you would have figured it out by now, but…”

“Jessica, I can't…I can't do this. I have to go.”  

“Oh yes you can, and you will. You hear me. You are going to swallow those thoughts and all those pesky feelings you just realized you have and go out there and be the man Mike needs you to be. His best man.”  

“I love him!” he shouted, unable to control his new-found emotions.  

“What?” Another voice interrupted. Dammit. Harvey would know that voice anywhere.  

“What did you say, Harvey?” Mike repeated.  

Jessica grasped Harvey’s wrist and squeezed it briefly before pulling away from the counter and walking past him and Mike out the door. Harvey hung his head, unable to face the man he now knew he loved.

“It’s nothing.”

“The hell it is. What did you say?”  

Harvey was known for being able to talk his way out of any situation. But right then and there, he couldn't think of one way out of his current predicament, let alone 146.  

He turned to look at Mike. His face full of worry.  

“I’m fine, Mike. Just a small panic attack. But I don't think I can stay. I have to go.”  

Harvey gathered his pride and tried to shield himself as he walked past Mike, intent on never looking back.  

“You’re not going to say it, are you? I’m never going to hear you say it,” he mumbled.  

Harvey stilled, unable to turn around.

“What do you want me to say, Mike? That I love you? That I just realized this; on your wedding day no less? Well, there you go. I love you. Now if you will excuse me.”  

Harvey pulled his coat tighter around him and walked out.  

~~~

Harvey didn't remember how he got home. He didn't know how many times he refilled his glass while sloughed on his couch. All he knew was that Ray Charles was whaling about drowning in his own tears and he was onboard.  

“You know, most people figure out they are in love with someone before they marry someone else,” a faraway voice said softly.  

“I'm not most people,” he answered to the invisible voice in the room.

“Don't I know it, Specter.”  

Harvey pried his eyes open to see Mike standing above him frowning.  

“What are you doing here?” he murmured, exhausted.  

“Honestly? I have no idea.”  

Harvey scooted over and Mike plopped down next to him. “Maybe I just needed to be sure.”  

“Sure of what?”  

“That you meant it.”  

Harvey turned to look at Mike. “It’s true. I do love you. And yes, I know I am an asshole for telling you this on your wedding day, but that doesn't mean it's not true...”  

“Dammit, Harvey! All these years you let me believe I was nothing more than a friend. And today, on my fucking wedding day, you go and blurt out that you love me. You’re more than an asshole. You are a world class asshole.”  

The words stung, but Harvey knew he deserved them and so much more for ruining Mike’s day.  

“Mike, I swear, I’m sor...”  

Harvey never finished his statement as Mike swallowed the rest of his words with his mouth; his tongue licking its way inside, obliterating Harvey’s thoughts. Harvey moaned and deepened the kiss, drinking deeply from Mike’s mouth. When they broke apart gasping for air, Mike’s eyes were wide, like he was just as shocked it happened.  

“I never once thought...never let myself dream that I would get to do that.”  

Harvey’s body was thrumming with want. Mike tasted like good whiskey, great music, and sunshine. He wanted nothing else but to fall back into Mike, but his conscience decided to come back online and quickly overruled his desire. He pushed Mike away.  

“I can't do this. This isn't right,”   Harvey mumbled, his voice heavy with regret.

“Neither is going through with a wedding when there could be someone else…”  

“Stop. Just stop.” Harvey rose from the couch, intent on escaping.  

“Harvey, will you just listen for a second…”  

But Harvey was done. He picked up the half empty bottle on the end table and stormed to his bedroom, locking himself in. He took a quick swig from the bottle and braced his arms against the dresser. In what universe did a man wake up and moments before his best friend’s wedding to discover he was in love with the groom? Not that it changed anything. Mike was not his. He would not be like his parents. He would not cheat. He wouldn't take what wasn’t his. Today, he would do the right thing, no matter how much it hurt. And at that moment, the man in the mirror with his crumpled tux, swollen eyes and flushed face was hurting, more than he ever believed possible.  

“Harvey?” Mike softly called out from the other side of the door. “Open the door. Don't shut me out. Just open the door so we can talk.”  

Harvey debated ignoring Mike’s request. But when had he ever denied Mike anything? He angrily stalked back to the door and opened it. Placing himself face to face with Mike.  

“Fine. You want to talk? Answer me this. Why are you still here?” The words were gruff and marred with his best defensive weapon- anger.  

“I told you, I wanted to know if you meant it,” he answered; his eyes never leaving Harvey’s.  

“And I told you I did. Let’s not make this any harder than it needs to be. Just go.”  

“I can't.”  

“Mike...”  

“Harvey. For the second time in my life, I have left my fiancée on our wedding day. For you.”  

Harvey closed his eyes and sighed. Guilt washed over him like a wet blanket, as he thought back to the day he drove Mike to Danbury. Mike’s hands on his waist startled him back to the conversation.  

“I didn't regret it then, and I don't regret it now. Especially if there is a chance there could be something more between us. So here I am. I’m just a boy standing in front of another boy, asking if he could love him. If you’ll have me.”  

Everything about the whole situation was wrong. That didn't mean he wasn't tempted. Harvey wanted nothing more than to give in. He was supposed to say no; supposed to stay strong and stand firm in his convictions. Instead, his arms found their way around Mike’s waist.    

“You know, that's not how that quote went.”

Mike chuckled lightly. “I needed something to get through that thick skull of yours. So come on, Harvey, what do you say? Care to take a chance with me?”

“Mike, I’ve been taking chances with you since the moment we met.”

“Then what's one more,” Mike answered, his lips ghosting over Harvey’s.  

Harvey hummed quietly, losing himself in the feel of Mike’s kiss, the feel of Mike’s body pressed against his own. He wanted this; wanted Mike in every and all ways possible.  

“Despite what you think, if we do this, our lives will get very complicated,” Harvey warned when they pulled apart.  

“So be it,” Mike whispered against Harvey’s lips. “You and I do complicated well.”  

“That we do, Mike. That we do,” Harvey answered, dragging Mike into his bedroom and closing the door.

[1dhq]

It fuels me when people go “h&l hated each other in 2015 and were barely band mates and nothing more, they didn’t hang out outside of work, you could see they avoided each other” because it’s just so ignorant and stupid? Like they are completely missing the point? There was a REASON why they were avoiding each other, which is the main issue with everything Larry, which is the fact that they can’t interact in front of cameras as intimately as they want to -a shame they haven’t figured it out +

after all these years-, just that iTunes Music Fesival moment should be enough of a proof, the one where they share a laugh with at each other and then remember they can’t do it because of the cameras? Isn’t that enough of a proof how PRESSED they were? The stress of it all, and the fact that they’re NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT, is still there. It’s been there since 2013. +

So I want to say two beautiful things I’ve noticed. I don’t know if people were talking about it before. Well, here it goes. First, I want to talk about the Larry hug. For me, it’s not even the fact that they decided to hug. Like really, it was shorter than the other hugs, and after everything they’ve went through, I am sure they were full of anxiety and just.. it might have been a confusing situation overall. I still do hope they felt good as they heard the crowd roaring. What makes it so +

significant for me is probably the fact that they hugged each other last. You know the feeling when you’re saying goodbye to a group of friends or family, and you leave the most important ones for the last? Whether you have something important to say to that, or just want to be in the moment while hugging them. Because I always do that. There is a sense of urgency in the other hugs, because there are more people to go through, but the last one, you get to cherish and remember. +

The other thing I’ve noticed is the fact that there is no Larry moments in any other 1D music videos released in 2015. They definitely did try to go through the “h&l are just two dudes who happened to be in the same band but they’re fatally different and were never close” root there. Especially in the History music video, that was evident as they were trying to erase Larry history? What a fucking shame. Well, now comes the good part at least. H&N and L&L seem to get along well in these vids. +

I’m 100% sure they’re good friends, that they love each other so much, Narry and Lilo. But they’re not the BFFs these music videos or the narrative in general make them out to be. If I was a complete stranger to the fandom and decided to watch the 2015 videos, I’d never have a clue about H&L. Except. If I was careful enough, I’d see that during most of those NASA scenes, H&L are generally apart. H seems even further apart from ot3 while walking. H&L get on the fuse in the same order they +

were walking in, that is, apart. But wait. Now they are in the fuse. And they’re somehow sitting together? So apparently these two people who either 1) hate each other or 2) haven’t had any kind of connection to even hate or dislike each other, they’re neutral as fuck, you have the nerve to tell me they still decided to share one of the most important experiences of their lives together? Wait, weren’t Harry and Niall so close? Why the fuck are they not sitting together then? +   

Perhaps because there is an actual couple in there, who just really don’t give a fuck about the cutting of the video, they just really want to stay together and share the experience? Why are Liam and Niall all like “yes let’s go man” with a simple handshake? Do you not see the non existent intimacy there? Do you not see that H&L somehow are able to communicate without uttering a word? Like what the fuck? People assume anything, and I should let them, whether it be that they broke up or that they

they’re together, but I won’t ever tolerate for one second when people say they are “not friends” or “neutral”. They’re one of, if not THE, most important people in each others lives. The others are band mates. Harry and Louis are more than that. They’re integrated in each others lives and hearts in ways we can’t even comprehend. They shared years of experience, for their eyes only. “Hate is too strong an emotion to have for someone you don’t even like.” So I even support your “hate”, dear Larry

wow, you really Went Through It ajsjkdasjkads

[hannahsmusings]

Lou

*Louis can’t help but roll his eyes at Lottie question* No, I hid behind a bush and watched her from afar. Of course we talked, Lots. *he smiles although it isn’t a full Louis smile but it was something, finding his sarcasm coming back to him easily now that he was home, having to keep a tight lip in prison, one sarcastic comment could’ve got him in a bad situation and his goal for himself was to not get in any fights while locked up* *he was desperate for his old personality to come back, wanting to be that funny guy again, but he knew it’d take some time to get back into the swing of not watching what he said constantly* I ended up walking to that park… you know the one she and I used to spend hours at? She… She was there. *he can’t help the faint smile that appears on his face at that, the realization of what that could’ve meant dawned on him, you were still going to that park, that had to mean something more than just coincidence* She told me she forgave me, Lottie. She said she wasn’t mad at me anymore. I never thought I’d hear those words from her… fuck, I never thought I’d hear any words from her anymore… but we talked. Not properly, of course, but it was somehow deeper and better than some bullshit small talk you know?

*Luke nods at you, tilting his head as he tries to examine you, able to sense something was off but not sure what it was, wanting to just chalk it up to your exhaustion from the week but feeling like there was something else but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it* Of course, that’s fine, love. I can cancel too if you want me to be here… or I can make myself scarce. Whatever you want, baby. *he kisses the top of your head before focusing back on the breakfast, finishing up and plating everything* 

_________________________________________

*groans and roll my eyes a little as you joke, pleased you seemed to be joking a little still as although I could see you were pleased to be home last night but also you weren’t 100% yourself* I wouldn’t blame you if you did just hide and watch to be honest. *laughs a little but knowing it would take huge bravery to talk to someone that meant so much when it ended so badly* *eyebrows raise as you say she was at ‘your’ park, us always joking how that was your secret spot as I knew you often went there with her* *breaks out into a soft smile when you say she forgave you, knowing Hannah well so I’d expected that but not thinking she would have said, really just rooting for you both as I thought you were made for each other and I wanted it to work out* That’s so good. Do you feel better about it after seeing her? How was it left? *curious whether you’d be friends or what* 

*shakes my head as you offer to cancel, looking up at you with a soft smile* No it’s okay, you enjoy yourself. I’ll probably have an early night anyway. *smiles as I lean into your side but it not quite reaching my eyes, sipping my coffee and realising I didn’t want it, I wanted tea, having not drunk tea since me and Louis broke up because every time I did it reminded me of him but now it was all I was craving, rummaging in the cupboard for some and smiling a little as I find a tea bag before making a cup and sitting down at the island*

[pet-diary]

⟰Here are my 2018 New Year Resolutions!!!⟰

This year I am hoping to be really focused on building better habits in the things I want in my life. For instance, I really want to be better at drawing. I know that I have to practice DAILY if I ever want to be a ~person that draws~. I used to be a ~person that draws~, but over the past 10 years, I’ve really just let that habit fall to the wayside for other habits and hobbies, which makes me so sad! I used to love drawing! And this is something I really want to be a part of my life, a part of who I am as a person... So I decided to set some realistic goals to motivate myself into learning new styles and mediums that I would love to know how to do, while maintaining the habit of drawing daily. You can see how I did it below. Same for all my other resolutions and goals, I tried to set up plans to make them work. :) Some of my resolutions are just general and I didn’t come up with a plan for them. I just need to remember to check-in with myself every so often and remind myself to do them.

PLAN FOR ACHIEVING RESOLUTION GOALS

The template (in case you want to do it this way too):

[Name of resolution - Quick tag line so you can see it at a glance] ✨ Goal: What is the main goal here? How would it define you as a person? 🎯 Target: Specifically, what will it look like to have ultimately achieved this goal? 🏹 Aim: What steps can you take to achieve it?

ACADEMIC & CAREER // [Continue learning Japanese, gain basic everyday life language skills] ✨ Goal: Learn enough Japanese to be capable of basic conversation and writing. 🎯 Target: Study Genki textbooks + online apps or sites every week. Practice vocab in daily life. Teach Trev basics to make it more fun. Learn vocab for everyday life items and situations. 🏹 Aim: Read and practice Genki textbooks or Textfugu at least 1 session weekly, practice vocab app or other forms of study at least 30 mins daily.

CREATIVE // [Draw regularly again + Focus on practicing a monthly artist style/medium] ✨ Goal: Be a regular drawer, learn how to use different art mediums, practice favorite artist's styles. 🎯 Target: Dedicate every month to practicing a new style in art, choosing one medium and one favorite artist to focus on. Drawing something daily. 🏹 Aim: Draw at least once per day, doesn't matter how much, but ideally aim for an hour daily. Practice monthly art style for inspiration. Choose at end of month specifically who/what to focus on, print off inspiration to hang around room and be inspired by. Try to learn something about the artist along the way, immerse in artist's life/process while learning the style.

Some possible artists to study (off the top of my head):

1. Risa Mehmet 2. Faetus 3. Hospicemilk / fever-breath 4. Song__Caramel / Caramelsong0915 5. Henry Darger 6. Winsor McCay 7. Yumiko Ōshima (The Star of Cottonland) 8. Minipete 9. Guppy 10. Nao Emoto (Forget Me Not) 11. Gosho Aoyama (Case Closed) 12. CLAMP (Sakura) 13. Henriette Willebeek le Mair 14. Yuko Uramoto (The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up) 15. Tyrus Wong 16. Louis Wain 17. Eon (Super Secret)

Some mediums to study (off the top of my head):

1. Watercolor 2. Pastels 3. Ink 4. Markers 5. Crayon 6. Charcoal 7. Graphite 8. Collage 9. Paint of some kind (gouache?) 10. Clip Studio Paint 11. Color pencils

[Share photography regularly + Focus heavily on shooting/sharing film] ✨ Goal: Become listed as featured artist on Grace and Girlhood (i.e. post enough film photos to be considered film photographer). 🎯 Target: Edit and share photography every month, focus heavily on film. Post to IG, submit photos to G&G. Keep up with scanning negatives so that it's easy to post film regularly. Learn to use to continue practicing w/ diff film and cameras. 🏹 Aim: Post at least 5x monthly. Work on photography scanning/editing for at least 1 hour weekly.

LIFE // [Immerse myself in lifestyle (grad school, art, Seattle, etc), blog/vlog whole process (good & bad)] ✨ Goal: What is the main goal here? How would it define you as a person? 🎯 Target: Specifically, what will it look like to have ultimately achieved this goal? 🏹 Aim: What steps can you take to achieve it?

[Become an early riser + Go on daily walks] ✨ Goal: Wake up earlier every day, taking advantage of daylight. Have more time to spend with Trev. Become someone who goes for morning walks/runs (be that person who finds a body on an early morning jog!). 🎯 Target: Wake up early, go to bed early, make it a regular habit to become an early riser and get the most out of the daylight. Go on morning walks regularly.🏹 Aim: Go to bed around 9:30-11pm, wake up at 5:30-7am, make a coffee/tea to go, go for a walk/run, make breakfast when I get home. Wake up as early as possible!

[Cook more + Learn more Japanese & vegan recipes + Prepare bento regularly] ✨ Goal: Cook dinner more, and make bento for work/school the next day. Make rice-based recipes more often, eat healthier meals, snack healthier. 🎯 Target: Make enough rice to justify buying a new rice cooker (reward!). Go through recipe books and try more Japanese recipes. Eat healthier, make more vegan-based meals. Make bento for me and Trev with cute bento accessories, for work/school/picnic. 🏹 Aim: Make a rice-based recipe at least once a week. Plan and make meals from books and saved recipes from Pinterest (focus on vegan and Japanese recipes) every week. Make lunch for Trev and I the night before using bento accessories and online inspiration.

[Watch more anime + Read more manga] ✨ Goal: Become someone that watches anime/reads manga and web comics on a regular basis. Become more familiar with existing shows/comics. Pick up art inspiration for web comic and art styles. 🎯 Target: Watch anime regularly, read web comics everyday instead of wasting time on other stuff. Get inspiration for my web comic. Practice techniques from shows and other comics/manga. 🏹 Aim: Watch anime at least 1x weekly, instead of other things I watch. Start a series w/ Trev and add it to show rotation. Read web comics/manga at least 1x daily, check update feed for series I follow on Webtoon and other apps. Check feeds like My Anime List, Anime News Network and Honey's Anime for inspiration.

(Cutting the rest of this entry because it’s already written in the image, but wanted to include it for readability and searchabilty).

ACADEMIC & CAREER // * Continue learning Japanese, gain basic everyday life language skills * Apply for grad school * Learn how to talk about what you know, about yourself, & to talk in general * Continue fleshing out career goals

CREATIVE // * Draw regularly again + Focus on practicing a monthly artist style/medium * Share photography regularly + Focus heavily on shooting/sharing film * Start the ephemera shop! * Start working on graphic novel!! Don’t let the idea die unrealized

LIFE // * Immerse myself in lifestyle (grad school, art, Seattle, etc), blog/vlog whole process (good & bad) * Become an early riser + Go on daily walks * Be openly autistic – fuck worrying about what ppl will think anymore * Make new friends, make an effort to meet ppl, esp in grad school * Set down roots, even if you have to uproot them eventually * Continue taking the bus, be more self-sufficient, grocery shop, run errands alone * Cook more + Learn more Japanese & vegan recipes + Prepare bento regularly * Watch more anime + Read more manga * Read (for fun) at least 1 page a day * Start watching movies again, the feels can be good in the long run * Listen to music more often, get into new stuff

PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH // * Maintain weight, don't go over/under healthy ideal weight * Look cute more often, even just around the house * Stretch every day, regardless of exercise * Go on weekly walks, at least 3x weekly, esp morning walks * Exercise alone or w/ Trev at least 1x weekly, aim for 2x weekly * Push yourself to do things that scare you! Esp if it’s irrational fear * Look into getting on medication to deal w/ anxiety * Maintain positive mindset, esp upon waking up & greeting Trev at end of day * Be nicer, control anger better, be more empathetic & friendly