#and i love love moraine

[alverelover]

[wibblyowzah]

Moiraine trying to be Siuan's sugar mommy, and her girlfriend saying "nope"

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

One of the reasons I love Mat and Rand's relationship is because Mat's the person in a Monty Python sketch saying, "Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government!!" while Rand is the one taking the sword from the Lady reverently and with grave purpose.

[blackemptysea]

Some of my favourite WLW Kisses in Films.

Le Portrait de la Jeune Fille en Feu, dir. Céline Sciamma (2019) | The Wheel of Time: The Flame of Tar Valon, dir. Salli Richardson-Whitfield (2021) | Killing Eve: Hello, Losers, dir. Stella Corradi (2022) | V for Vendetta, dir. James McTeigue (2005)

[dire-vulture]

Who's your favorite dragon to draw?

oooh that's tough.. honestly i don't draw repeat dragons all that much but. i think Yazeena, Myosotis, and Glacier are contenders!

thank you for asking!! this was fun to think about haha

[azumetapraline]

Here are some photos I took when I went to my trip to Banff, Alberta, like one month ago (yeah, I know)! 🏞️

I originally wanted to carry my Meta & Magolor plushies to the West, but unfortunately, my plane ticket only allowed for one free bag, so I instead opted for the much smaller pipe-cleaner figurines I made about 3-4 years ago!

It was super fun to carry them around while I was hiking and admiring Alberta’s beauty! 🥰

For starters, Banff National Park is the fourth oldest national park in the world, and the oldest in Canada. It has a lot of unique protected fauna, flora and scenery. It’s in Alberta, not too far from Calgary, and it covers the Canadian portion of the Rocky Mountains.

More info-dumping about my trip and more photos (with or without blorbos) under the cut! 👇

This is the view from Sulphur Mountain’s summit. I went to the top thanks to a gondola (because the peak is really high).

This is Moraine Lake! Probably one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen in my life. Trust me, the actual scenery is much more grandiose than in the photos!

Lake Louise is not too far from there. Although its water’s color isn’t as unique as Moraine Lake’s, it looked absolutely gorgeous.

I’ll never forget the view of Lake Minnewanka, or the forests and canyons surrounding it; neither will I forget almost having a heat exhaustion from walking for too long under the sun and running out of water in the middle of the forest. 😅

Finally, I present you my absolute favorite place in the park. Moraine Lake is unique, yes, but Johnston Canyon is loterally a corner of paradise; beautifully-arranged trees, rocks and plants, and absolutely gorgeous waterfalls. The droplets felt so refreshing after a long hike! My brother told me that in winter, the waterfalls freeze! What a shame! I’ll be forced to come back there another time… 😩

Of course those are just the main places I’ve gone in those five days. There were also a lot of shops, restaurants, a few museums around. My hostel was awesome too, and I’ve explored a trail and ended up in some camping site in which I saw a wapiti. Here are some photos of animals I’ve taken during my trip (starting with the creature):

I loved this trip so much! Making this post reminded me of all the nice memories I lived in Banff. I feel lucky for having such an opportunity! It was also the first time of my life in a plane, and I did it alone (it being a domestic flight did help though)! 😄

Thank you so much for reading all this text and looking at my photos! I hope you enjoyed it, feel free to share if you want to. Have an amazing day/night… and a cookie! 🍪 Azu���

[helsingvania]

Along with mining those diamonds, you mine my soul. My love. My trust. My compassion. My empathy.

[elainemorisi]

aaaaaaah Lan and Moraine OTP(+) 5*eva* aaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[pumpkinsouppe]

What if I nosedive back into my little shop of horrors obsession

[apollo-cackling]

at this point if moiraine turns out to be evil I simply will not care. oh it turns out that moiraine's a darkfriend and was the one have the horn stolen? god forbid women do anything

[hugshughes]

seven E. Edwards

Ethan Edwards x fem!reader

synopsis - you and Ethan, your best friend since you were seven, finally admit you're in love with each other.

wc - 5.7k :O

contains - so much fluff LORDDDDDDDD. curse words, eating/drinking, kissing, making out, reader has long enough hair for a braided ponytail, a little suggestiveness (twenty year old boy has dirty thoughts about his best friend sigh), underage drinking. oh reader has a late summer birthday (end of July-August), and two older brothers sorryyyyy. LMK!!!!

an - EDIT - that one paragraph that was in first person... why didn't u guys tell me. are we even friends anymore???? unedited. i'll do it tomorrow i promise. hey guys.... sorry it's been like almost 3 weeks, I love you I swear. there were midterms then halloweek so like I had to be studious then I had to be slutty so it was a long two weeks. also i wanna be fr friends with more fic writers on here yall r so cute. ANYWAY THIS WAS PROBABLY MY FAV SO FAR. i am an ethan girl to my core and it shows in this. people keep requesting behind my back pt.2 and i promise it's coming guys im just grinding this celebration then i'll be doing other stuff! may or may not have given Ethan and reader the same costume me and my man wore this weekend🤭. ANYWAYS ENJOYYYYYYYY!

-

please picture me in the trees. i hit my peak at seven. feet in the swing over the creek.

Lake Moraine, Alberta, Canada. Summer, 2009

You were freshly seven years old as you ran around the backyard of your family's summer house with your best friend, Ethan. It was the first summer you ever spent with the Edwards family, but it was perfect.

Your parents got along great, you both had older brothers who quickly became good friends. And you got your best friend for 3 whole weeks to ride on the boat, play tag, swim, make s'mores, and do anything else you wanted to with.

Your moms loved joking about how you two were destined to be married from the beginning. They saw the way Ethan was completely mesmerized by you even as a seven-year-old boy. He followed you around like a puppy and did everything he could for you. You wanted to play hide 'n seek? He was already counting to 40. You got scared of the summer fireworks? He held your hand and convinced you they were exciting and fun.

Your moms also saw the way you were obsessed with him. It was always 'Where's Ethan?', or 'Is Ethan awake yet?' all summer long. You didn't go anywhere without him. You pouted like crazy whenever he would go to play street hockey in the driveway with the older boys while you sat on the porch with your parents.

i was too scared to jump in. but i, i was high in the sky, with pennsylvania under me.

That summer was something you thought of often, it was perfection. Running around playing with your best friend all summer as a seven-year-old was the best thing you could've ever asked for.

When you guys were double your previous age, fourteen years old, you were still as close as ever. You went through it all together. The summer of 2016 was the summer when Ethan realized he had a crush on you. It was also, the summer you got boobs, but the two things were only semi-related.

Ethan found himself being insanely flustered by you and everything you did. When your hand brushed his while walking down the dock to the boat, when you kissed him on the cheek after he'd given you your birthday present, a silver necklace with a small solid heart pendant. It was a necklace you still wore today.

It wasn't until the next summer though that you realized you were heavily infatuated with the brunette. Something about him had changed, instead of him being this seven-year-old boy in your mind, he was fifteen, he had gotten muscles, and his hair was shaggy, and your hormones went crazy over it.

You and Ethan had a lot of fun that summer, you drank for the first time, which both of you ended up throwing up from in the backyard while your parents and siblings slept. Ethan had broken your heart for the first time the next year. He left the summer house 2 weeks early to go to a camp his new girlfriend begged him to go to. And him leaving 2 weeks early had him leaving days before your birthday, which hurt the worst.

You broke his heart even worse the next year when you brought your new boyfriend to the house. The house he fell in love with you in, the house you fell for him in. He hated that summer, he and the girl from the summer before had only lasted until the fall of that year, and Ethan realized he really was in love with you. But then your family drove up and you got out of the car with him, the guy that Ethan immediately made his enemy.

That summer was okay for you, and it sucked for Ethan. Your boyfriend left you unimpressed that summer, he wasn't the most polite guy, and was very much uninterested in the fun stuff you loved doing every summer. You remember how he went to sleep and left you alone watching the fireworks you had grown to love so much. You broke up with him over text the day you got back home. You weren't heartbroken after that, not like you were the summer before.

Neither of you had gotten into relationships since then. You'd both been too consumed by each other, you both knew no one else would fulfill you like the other would.

And so you were best friends, you hung out whenever you could, you went to all of his games, you went to proms and homecomings together, as friends. When Ethan committed to the University of Michigan, it became a school you were obsessed with getting into. Your application and essay had the most detail and took you the longest. You remember when you got an email in your inbox from the umich admissions office.

are there still beautiful things?

You couldn't open it. Not without Ethan. You grabbed your phone and moved your laptop off your lap and back onto your desk. You called him, your leg bouncing anxiously as it rang. He picked up after five rings.

"Hey Angel,"

Angel. He'd called you it since when you broke up with your first boyfriend, he told you that you were an angel and that guy didn't deserve you. And then it just stuck with him.

"My response for umich is here. Can you come over? I don't think I can open it without you here."

"Fuck yeah, give me like ten minutes."

You let out a deep breath, you were scared. You didn't think you would get in. You had the grades for it, and the extracurriculars, but you just had a pit in your stomach over it.

"It's gonna be okay Angel, alright? You're getting in. I love you, I'll be there in a little."

"Okay, I love you."

He hung up, you sat anxious at your desk, before closing your laptop and moving to sit on your bed. You heard his car pull in, the black jeep that brought you two to school every day, the jeep that drove you guys to the drive-in movies once every month, the jeep that you two drove to the lake last summer.

Your brother let him in, you heard him take his shoes off and run up the stairs, taking two at a time. He opened your door, smiling big at you before closing it behind him. You couldn't even smile at him, you felt like you were gonna be sick.

"Don't look at me like that. You need to stop acting like you won't get in."

"You don't know that though, Ethe. Tons of kids wanna go to Michigan, and tons of kids aren't gonna get in."

"Well we don't care about those kids, do we? 'Cause you aren't them, you're you, and you're perfect."

You just stared at him, you couldn't do anything else. All you wanted to do was kiss him, but again, you couldn't do that.

"Now where's this acceptance email at?"

You pointed to your closed laptop. He grinned and turned to grab it, climbing over you with his free hand to get onto your bed. He opened your laptop, typing in your password, and seeing the email at the top of your inbox. He turned and looked at you, his hand finding yours.

"You know it's gonna be okay no matter what, right? Even if you don't get in, which you will, but even if you don't that won't change anything. You'll go to Iowa and you'll love it."

You took a deep breath and nodded, squeezing his hand. You nodded towards your laptop, gesturing for him to click the email. You lean your head on his shoulder, heart racing as he moves your mouse to the email. He clicks the email, then the link included in it. He reads a sentence under his breath before stopping. You weren't reading it, you had your eyes closed. Ethan jumps, shouting and burying you in a hug, resulting in your laptop falling off your bed.

"You did it! We're going to Michigan together!"

You just hugged him so tight. You were so thankful for the admissions officer who had read your essay, which may have included Ethan's name a few times. Not because he was going for hockey, but because he was your best friend. You two both hugged for a moment, before running downstairs to tell your family.

sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won't tell no other.

That was one of your favorite memories with Ethan. Now it was over three years later, you guys were juniors in college and you were still just best friends.

Tonight was the first night of Halloweekend, as you call it. You had a duo costume with Ethan, you were a referee and he was a hockey player. It was basic, you both knew that, but it was fun, and Ethan had no problem with how good you looked in your black little Lululemon skirt when you had tried your costume on for him. You guys had barely any time to get ready because of the game against Lindenwood earlier in the day. You were both getting ready in your apartment, so you could go to the party together.

You had only had your skirt and black sports bra on when Ethan knocked on your door, calling your name to let him in. You ran over to the door, excited to see Ethan and congratulate him on the huge win. When you opened the door Ethan's heart jumped, the sight of you in your incomplete outfit made his teenage boy hormones go crazy.

"Hi Ethe! I see you aren't ready yet."

You gave him an annoyed look, because he said he would be dressed when he got to yours.

"Well you aren't exactly in your full outfit either."

You blushed when you really realized you hadn't even thought about not having your shirt on when getting the door. You waved your hand and quickly turned away from the brunette, going back to your room, Ethan hot on your heels.

You quickly grabbed your shirt and sat back at your vanity, pulling it over your head and tucking it with your skirt letting it sag out a little bit. You quickly did your makeup, while Ethan sat on your bed and watched his phone.

"Ethe, if you don't start getting ready I will literally hurt you."

He looked up and let out a wannabe innocent gasp, claiming he "literally doesn't have to do anything but change his shirt". You shout at him again and he calls you by your mother's name, to which you gasped and threw your eyelash curler at him.

He finally gave in and started getting ready. Your eyes were practically stuck to him when you watched him pull his t-shirt off, his toned upper body on full display in your mirror. Your pupils were dilating while you stared at him.

Ethan wore his own navy Michigan jersey over a white sweatshirt, it was basic but he was happy he didn't have to do much. He laid back down on your bed once he was finished and watched as you put your hair back.

You'd gotten your hair in the ponytail, but you'd done the braid multiple times and it still just didn't look right. You sighed then looked at Ethan in the mirror, finding him already staring at you, then asked him the big question.

"Ethey, baby, can you please braid my hair?"

Baby. You'd called Ethan baby and he couldn't handle it. He quickly nodded, stuttering out a yes and jumping up from your bed to stand behind you at your vanity. He quickly separated your hair into three, looking at you for approval, like you hadn't taught him to braid your hair at 11 years old.

and though i can't recall your face, i still got love for you.

You smiled at him and slightly nodded, not shaking your head too much. He smiled a little bit back at you but was too focused on twisting your hair into itself to look in your eyes.

"Hair tie."

You smiled to yourself when he mumbled it to you, so incredibly focused on his work in your hair. Like it was the most detrimental thing he'd had to do today, like he hadn't played a big hockey game hours earlier.

"And... You're perfect."

He mumbled this as he tied off your braid, turning your head to show you in the mirror. You smiled at him grabbing his hand behind your back and rubbing your thumb over his, thanking him physically, since it was his love language.

your braids like a pattern, love you to the Moon, and to Saturn.

You stood from your vanity, sliding your sneakers on and grabbing your whistle to hang around your neck. You and Ethan both went out of your room and stood in front of the large mirror you had set up in the hallway. You deemed it time to take photos, but not before you unzipped the quarter-zip of your top so you could see your cleavage on pretty full display. The second you did so Ethan knew he was done for the night.

You guys took some photos and then you guys started walking to the party because it was only a six-minute walk from your place. When you arrived at the party, you guys were immediately pulled into a group of hockey players.

Ethan went to get you both drinks once he knew you were safe with his friends. You stood between Luca and Mark as you watched Ethan head off into the crowd.

"So, when are you two gonna admit you wanna fuck?"

Your eyes bulged out of your head. You turned and slapped Mark's chest, hard. He snickered along with the other boys around you.

"One, there's freshie ears around us, and two, we are never gonna do that, so shut the actual fuck up."

Mark shook his head, another laugh leaving his mouth as he pointed at Ethan, who was talking to one of his friends on the way back to your group.

"That kid is obsessed with you. Don't you think it's weird he literally hasn't gotten a girl yet, when he's got hundreds of girls here that would drop dead if he even said a word to them? He only likes you."

It was your turn to laugh, you knew that couldn't be true. You looked at Mark and rolled your eyes, it was honestly irritating hearing him say stuff like that at this point.

"Please, Mark. No chance. He's been my best friend since I was seven, if he liked me, he would've said so by now.

"Well you've liked him for forever and you haven't said anything, have you?"

You couldn't respond because Ethan was back, handing you a can of something. You thanked him and rubbed his hand, like always. He always received physical touch the best, especially as a thank you, it was funny to you because it was so incredibly similar to the golden retriever all of his fans called him online.

passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long.

You didn't stray far from Ethan for the first hour and a half, watching Rutger and Luca demolish in pong for a while. Then you saw some girls from your classes who you loved so you went to say hey to them and ended up talking for awhile.

After a little bit you and one of the girls you were with both had empty drinks so y'all got up to head to the kitchen.

"Oh my God babe, I saw your Insta story of you and your man, y'all are so hot together, and your costume is top tier."

You laughed at her, blushing madly.

"He's not my man! He's just my best friend, but thank you I picked our costume out."

She gasped at you, stopping abruptly.

"No way he isn't your man! He looks at you like he wants to tear your clothes off every fucking second!"

"Shut up! No he doesn't! He does not like me like that."

You both turned the corner laughing and you almost halted in your steps when you realized what you were seeing. It was Ethan, standing and laughing with this one bitch you knew, her name was like Diana or something. She had her hand on his chest as her head flew back at one of his jokes. All you knew is you'd seen her try to talk to all of the hockey players at parties since your freshman year, even though most of them were 3+ years younger than her because she was a grad student and at least 25. Then you realized what she was wearing, she was dressed as the fucking Stanley Cup. You wanted to die.

"See, not my man."

and i've been meaning to tell you, i think your house is haunted. your dad is always mad and that must be why.

Your voice got quieter as you said it, your stomach now had a pit and your eyes looked so disappointed. You don't know why you let Mark's word get to your head, because obviously there was never gonna be anything between the two of you. You left and told Bri you were going to the bathroom, trying to find an empty one.

Ethan saw as you quickly turned into the kitchen, disappearing into the crowd with your friend. He'd also seen the terrible look on your face. He was immediately worried, not even thinking for half a second about the, in his opinion, annoying fake blonde, practically pawing at him, that he ended up being intercepted by on his way to find you.

He quickly tried to follow you but was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. He pulled his hand from her grasp roughly and gave her a bewildered look.

"Wait Ethey! Where are you going? I wanna take a picture with you, we're matching so cute!"

He didn't even look at her, trying to find the back of your head in the crowd.

"No, don't call me that."

"Ugh, okay Ethan. Well, come here let me take a picture of our matching costumes."

"No thanks I'm already matching with my girl, and we're not even matching. A college player wouldn't have a Stanley Cup, doesn't even make sense"

He mumbled it to her, still pushing away from her as he finally got her to get her hands off of him. He immediately pushed into the crowd of the kitchen, desperately looking for you. He finally spotted the black and white stripes of your shirt and the braid he had done swerving in between people. He followed you, knowing calling your name would do nothing in the loud house. He watched you walk into the bathroom of probably the only empty hallway of the house, and he waited outside the door for almost 10 minutes before knocking.

"Sorry! I'll be out in just a second."

Your voice sounded dull, he was definitely worried about you.

"No it's just me, just wanted to know if you were okay. Are you?"

"Oh Ethe,"

You opened the door from your spot sitting on the counter, letting him walk in.

"hey, sorry didn't mean for you to be worried about me."

You tried to smile at him, but he could tell something was wrong. He sat by you on the counter, your thighs pressed against each other as he looked at you, concern filling his face. You wouldn't look at him, your face would give it all away if you did, and you knew it.

i think you should come live with me, and we can be pirates.

"I can tell something's off. What is it? Did someone say somethin' to you?"

You laughed a little, and it confused him even further.

"You'd be surprised at what's got me upset. It's stupid anyway so don't worry your pretty little head, alright?"

Ethan planted his hand on your knee firmly, urging you to look at him with a 'Hey.' You looked up at him for a few seconds before looking around the dim bathroom to distract yourself.

"Just tell me, Angel. Nothing you say is stupid to me."

Of course, he pulled out the Angel card, he knew you would do whatever he asked if he called you Angel. You looked up at him with an unamused face raising your eyebrows for a second before sighing, looking anywhere but his brown eyes.

then you won't have to cry,

"Mark was just saying stuff earlier and then-"

"What did he say? Did he make you upset? I know he's my teammate but I don't care I'll-"

"Ethan Edwards! No, Mark didn't make me upset. It's different than that, it's a whole big thing, and I just don't know how to talk to you about it."

Ethan thought the worst immediately. Well, it probably wasn't the actual worst, but it was the worst thing that could've happened to him.

"Does Mark like you? Did he tell you that?"

Your eyes went wide, and you could've laughed at Ethan's obliviousness.

"No, Ethe. That is definitely not what he said."

He looked at you helplessly, he was so confused. He didn't know how to do the one thing he wanted to, comfort you. He sighed shrugging and shaking his head, he was getting irritable. He stood up from the counter, exasperated.

"Then what is it? Why are you so upset? Can you just please tell me Angel? We tell each other everything baby."

You were gonna scream, he called you baby. He called you baby and you were about to tell him you were head over heels in love with him. You took a deep breath, looking away from where he'd stationed himself directly in front of you, hands on either side of your thighs as he leaned close to you, still worried.

or hide in the closet.

"I just, I'm like, Ethan you're my best friend and I know it's terrible of me to do this but I really fucking love you, like more than that like I'm in love with you and I know I'm a horrible best friend-"

Ethan cut you off by kissing you. Ethan Edwards was kissing you. Ethan Edwards had his hands cupping your jaw, was tilting his head, and kissing you. You were stunned, you didn't kiss him back for a few seconds out of pure shock, and then you realized what was happening. Your hands were gripping his wrists as he held your face. Your legs opened so he could step in between them to be closer to you. His hands moved from your face to your hips as yours went to his neck when you deepened the kiss, it turning into a full-on makeout.

You pulled away, heavy breathing as you stared at Ethan, eyes wide and exasperated.

and just like a folk song,

"That was fuckin' great, Goddamn."

You closed your eyes and let your head fall to Ethan's chest when he said that, laughing at his stupidity. His arms quickly wrapped you into a hug, squeezing you tightly as he laid a kiss on your exposed neck.

"I love you 'like that' too if it wasn't clear before."

our love will be passed on.

"Really? I didn't notice."

He poked your sides at your sass, laughing as you wiggled and squirmed in his grip. Ethan then had a thought come to his head that peaked his curiosity.

"Wait, if that's what you were all stuck on then why were you so upset?"

You brought your arms down from their place around his neck, ready to talk through your annoyance with your hands.

"Ethey, seriously? I was walking with Bri and she was literally telling me we look like a hot couple and that you look at me like you wanted to tear my clothes off and then we turn the corner and I see you with that mega bitch with her hands all over you, acting like you're a fucking comedian."

please picture me, in the weeds. before i learned civility.

His eyes widened at your confession, his cheeks were dusted red when you told him about how Bri thinks he looks at you. He started laughing as you let your green monster out over the girl he didn't even know’s name.

i used to scream ferociously, any time i wanted.

"Angel, that got you all upset? That is crazy because that girl was the most uninteresting, fake, batshit person I've ever had to speak to. She kept trying to say that me and her were matching but we literally aren't, 'cause like why would a college player have a Stanley Cup? Doesn't make any sense. But, I told her I was already matching with my girl anyways, so."

"Your girl?"

You raised your eyebrows at him faking ignorance. He rolled his eyes at you and shook his head, his large warm hands rubbing back and forth over your hips and thighs.

"Well, now you're officially my girl. But baby, you've always been my girl, c'mon now."

i, i.

Your face was so hot and you literally couldn't even speak. You opened your mouth to speak but promptly closed it sucking in a deep breath. Your heartbeat was so fast. That was the sexiest thing you'd ever heard anyone say, and it had an effect on you.

You couldn't look into his eyes anymore, the mix between what he'd just said and the feeling of his hands rubbing over the tops of your thighs, sometimes 'accidentally' hitting the hem of your little skirt was too much. You hid your head in his neck while he smiled so big, it was almost annoying.

"Christ, Ethan."

"What baby? What's got you all hot 'n bothered?"

"Shut the actual fuck up."

He was laughing, hard, which made you blush even more. You pulled your head from his neck and brought your arms around his shoulders to kiss him again, a little bit needier than the first one. His hands stopped their movements, their placement underneath the edges of your skirt making you go crazy.

"Fuck, you're perfect Angel."

His words went straight to the pit forming in your stomach. You moaned into his mouth in response, and Ethan promised himself he would do whatever he had to do to make you make that noise again. Ethan was two seconds from pulling your shirt off of you when there was a bang on the door, causing you to jump, squeezing around Ethan's shoulders.

"Hun, are you alright? You've been in there awhile!"

It was Bri, you let out a sigh of relief, loosening your grip on Ethan and nudging him to the side, sliding off of the bathroom counter.

"Um, yeah I'm alright! Uh I'll be out in a sec!"

"Kay-kay!"

You turned around and gave Ethan a wide-eyed look, while he laughed at you. You turned from him and looked into the mirror, flattening your baby hairs and straightening out your outfit. You gave Ethan a 'you ready?' look to which he nodded and you unlocked and opened the door, halting when you saw Bri standing near the door waiting for you. Ethan bumped into you at your abrupt stop and when Bri looked up and saw two of you, she squealed.

"Oh em gee! Girl, I knew it!"

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won't tell no other.

She ran away from you two back to the house, most likely to tell your girlfriends. You two giggled at her and then turned to walk back into the party.

Ethan pressed his hand against your lower back as he guided you through the crowd and back to the group of hockey players now in a different spot than you remember. When Mark noticed you two, when he noticed Ethan's hand, he immediately lit up smiling.

"Hey guys, long time no see, huh?"

and though i can't recall your face, i still got love for you.

You immediately went red as Ethan smirked annoyingly. You both sat down next to each other, Ethan's hand lingering on your thigh while you guys conversed with your friends for another half hour or so.

Eventually, Ethan was getting bored and wanted you all to himself again. He leaned over and layed his head on your shoulder, whispering in your ear.

"You wanna head out baby?"

You turned to look at him, nodding and wrapping your hand in his. Ethan stood up first, pulling you up with him.

"I think we're gonna head out. I'll see you guys tomorrow, alright?"

The guys nodded, bidding you guys goodbyes and waving. Mark shouts an extra loud goodbye to you, teasing you about your conversation earlier, to which you stuck up your middle finger to him behind Ethan's back.

Once you guys stepped outside you immediately started shivering, dropping Ethan's hand to rub your hands over your arms. You were cursing yourself 3 hours ago for not taking a jacket. You didn't even think about the fact that it would probably be almost freezing when you left the party, and your referee shirt and little skirt weren't helping at all.

Obviously Ethan noticed, he always did. He immediately started stripping on the front porch of the house, and you were bewildered.

"Ethan! What the fuck are you doing?"

He was shirtless on the street, he tossed you his hoodie before putting his jersey back on, smiling at you.

"Gotta keep my girl warm."

pack your doll and a sweater, we'll move to India forever.

You gratefully put the warm sweatshirt on, snuggling up into the soft material. Then, you snuggled up into the side of your boyfriend. Your boyfriend. Seven-year-old you wouldn't believe you, she'd be so confused. Fourteen-year-old you wouldn't believe it either, saying you never had feelings for Ethan, he was just your best friend. But sixteen-year-old you? Well she would be squealing and kicking her feet because you were dating him, the only boy you'd ever really liked, loved. The one boy that made you happy. He was so perfect, and you'd known he was perfect since you were seven.

passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long.

[astranemus]

Your body is an ancestor. Your body is an altar to your ancestors. Every one of your cells holds an ancient and anarchic love story. Around 2.7 billion years ago free-living prokaryotes melted into one another to form the mitochondria and organelles of the cells that build our bodies today. All you need to do to honor your ancestors is to roll up like a pill bug, into the innate shape of safety: the fetal position. The curl of your body, then, is an altar not just to the womb that grew you, but to the retroviruses that, 200 million years ago taught mammals how to develop the protein syncytin that creates the synctrophoblast layer of the placenta. Breathe in, slowly, knowing that your breath loops you into the biome of your ecosystem. Every seven to ten years your cells will have turned over, rearticulated by your inhales and exhales, your appetites and proclivity for certain flavors. If you live in a valley, chances are the ancient glacial moraine, the fossils crushed underfoot, the spores from grandmotherly honey fungi, have all entered into and rebuilt the very molecular make up of your bones, your lungs, and even your eyes. Even your lungfuls of exhaust churn you into an ancestor altar for Mesozoic ferns pressurized into the fossil fuels. You are threaded through with fossils. Your microbiome is an ode to bacterial legacies you would not be able to trace with birth certificates and blood lineages. You are the ongoing-ness of the dead. The alembic where they are given breath again. Every decision, every idea, every poem you breathe and live is a resurrection of elements that date back to the birth of this universe itself. Today I realize that due to the miracle of metabolic recycling, it is even possible that my body, somehow, holds the cells of my great-great grandmother. Or your great-great grandmother. Or that I am built from carbon that once intimately orchestrated the flight of a hummingbird or a pterodactyl. Your body is an ecosystem of ancestors. An outcome born not of a single human thread, but a web of relations that ripples outwards into the intimate ocean of deep time.

Your Body is an Ancestor, Sophie Strand

[worstjourney]

The Millennials' Polar Expedition

A year ago today (23 Nov 2022), I launched Worst Journey Vol.1 at the Scott Polar Research Institute. This is the text of the speech I gave to the lovely people who turned up to celebrate.

As many of you know, my interest in the Terra Nova Expedition was sparked by Radio 4’s dramatisation of The Worst Journey in the World, now 14 years ago.  The story is an incredible story, and it got its claws into me, but what kept me coming back again and again were the people.  I couldn’t believe anyone so wonderful had ever really existed.  So when I finally succumbed to obsession and started reading all the books, it was the expedition members’ own words which I most cherished.  These were not always easy to come by, though, so plenty of popular histories were consumed as well.  Reading both in tandem, it soon became clear that, while there were some good books out there, there was a lot of sloppy research in the polar echo chamber as well.

I also discovered that no adaptation had attempted to get across the full scope of the expedition.  There has never been a full and fair dramatic retelling, all having been limited by time, budget, or ideology from telling the whole story truthfully.  I was determined that my adaptation would be both complete and accurate, and be as accountable as possible to those precious primary documents and the people who wrote them.

So the years of research began.  I moved to Cambridge to be able to drop in at SPRI and make the most of the archives.  Getting to Antarctica seemed impossible, but I went to New Zealand to get at least that much right, and on the way back stayed with relatives in Alberta, the most Antarctic place I could realistically visit.  I gathered reference for objects wherever I could.  Because Vol.1 takes place mainly on the Terra Nova, which is now a patch of sludge on the seabed off Greenland, I cobbled together a Franken-Nova in my mind, between the Discovery up in Dundee and the Star of India in San Diego.  I spent a week on a Jubilee Sailing Trust ship in order to depict tall-ship sailing correctly.  I’m sure I’ve still got loads of things wrong, but I did all I could, to get as much as I could, right.

But still, everyone I met who had been to Antarctica said, “you can’t understand Antarctica until you’ve been there, and you can’t tell the story without understanding Antarctica; you have to go.”  So I applied to the USAP’s Antarctic Artists and Writers Program, with faint hope, as they do “Ahrt” and I draw cartoons.  But I must have blagged a good grant proposal, because a year after applying, I was stepping out of a C-17 onto the Ross Ice Shelf.  The whole trip would have been worth it just to stand there, turn in a circle, and see how all the familiar photographs fit together.  But the USAP’s generosity didn’t stop there, and in the next month I saw Hut Point, Arrival Heights, the Beardmore Glacier (including the moraine on which the Polar Party stopped to “geologise”), and Cape Crozier, and made three visits to the Cape Evans hut.  Three!  On top of the visual reference I got priceless qualitative data.  The hardness of the sound.  The surprising warmth of the sun. The sugary texture of the snow.  The keen edge on a slight breeze.  The way your fingertips and toes can start to go when the rest of you is perfectly warm.  The SHEER INSANITY of Cape Crozier.  The veterans were right – I couldn’t have drawn it without having been there, but now I have, and can, and I am more grateful than I can ever adequately express.  With all these resources laid so copiously at my feet, all I had to do was sit down and draw the darn thing.  Luckily I have some very sound training to back me up on that.

Now, this is all very well for the how of making the book, and, I hope, interesting enough. But why?  Why am I putting so much effort into telling this story, and why now?

Well, it means a lot to me personally.  To begin to understand why, you need to know that I grew up in the 80s and 90s, at the height of individualist, goal-oriented, success-driven, dog-eat-dog, devil-take-the-hindmost neoliberalism.  It was just assumed that humans, when you get right down to it, were basically self-interested jerks, and I saw plenty of them around so I had no reason to question this assumption.  The idea was that if you did everything right, and worked really hard, you could retire at 45 to a yacht in the Bahamas, and if you didn’t retire to a yacht, well, you just hadn’t tried hard enough.  Character, in the sense of rigorous personal virtue, was for schmucks.  What mattered was success.  Even as my politics evolved, I still took it as a given that this was how the world worked, and that was how people generally were – after all, there was no lack of corroborating evidence.  So: I worked really hard.  I single-mindedly pursued my self-interest.  I made sacrifices, and put in the time, and fought my way into my dream job and all the success I could have asked for.

And then I met the Terra Nova guys.

What struck me most about them was that even when everything was going wrong, when their expectations were shattered and they had to face the cruellest reality, they were still kind.  Not backbiting, recriminating, blame-throwing, defensive, or mean, as one would expect – they were lovely to each other, patient, supportive, self-sacrificing; in fact the worse things got, the better they were.  They still treated each other as friends even when it wasn’t in their self-interest, was even contrary to their self-interest.  I didn’t know people could be like that.  But there they were, in plain writing, being thoroughly, bafflingly, decent.  Not just the Polar Party – everyone had to face their own brutal realities at some point, and they all did so with a grace I never thought possible.

It presented a very important question:

When everything goes belly-up, and you’re facing the worst, what sort of person will you be?

Or perhaps more acutely: What sort of person would you rather be with?

It was so contrary to the world I lived in, to the reality I knew – it was a peek into an alternate dimension, populated entirely with lovely, lovely people, who really, genuinely believed that “it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game,” and behaved accordingly.  It couldn’t be real.  There had to be a deeper, unpleasant truth: that was how the world worked, after all.  I kept digging, expecting to hit bottom at some point, but I only found more gold, all the way down.  How could I not spend my life on this?

Mythology exists to pass on a culture’s values, moral code, and survival information – how to face challenges and prevail.  Scott’s story entered the British mythology, and had staying power, because it exemplified those things so profoundly for the culture that created and received it.  But the culture changed, and there were new values; Scott’s legacy was first inverted and then cast aside.  The new culture needed a new epic hero.  You’d think it would be Amundsen, the epitome of ruthless success, but “Make Plan – Execute Plan – Go Home” has no mythic value, so he didn’t stick.  The hero needed challenges, he needed setbacks, and he needed to win, on our terms.

Shackleton!  Shackleton was a winner!  Shackleton told us what we knew to be true and wanted to hear at epic volume: that if you want something badly enough, and try really hard, you will succeed!  (Especially if you can control the narrative.)  Scott, on the other hand, tells us that if you want something badly enough, and try really hard . . . you may nevertheless die horribly in the snow.  Nobody wants to hear that!  What a downer!  I think it’s no coincidence that Shackleton exploded into popular culture in the late 90s and has dominated it ever since: he is the mythic hero of the zeitgeist. I am always being asked if I’ll be doing Shackleton next.  He has six graphic novels already!  That is plenty!  But people still want to tell and be told his story, because it’s a heroic myth that validates our worldview.

That’s why I am so determined to tell the Scott story, because Scott is who we don’t realise we need right now – and Wilson, and Bowers, and Cherry, and Atch, and all the rest.  The Terra Nova Expedition is the Millennials’ polar expedition.  We’ve worked really hard, we’ve done everything we were supposed to, we made what appeared to be the right decisions at the time, and we’re still losing.  Nothing in the mythology we’ve been fed has prepared us for this.  No amount of positive attitude is going to change it.  We have all the aphorisms in the world, but what we need is an example of how to behave when the chips are down, when the Boss is not sailing into the tempest to rescue us, when the Yelcho is not on the horizon.  When circumstances are beyond your power to change, how do you make the best of your bad situation?  What does that look like? Even if you can’t fix anything, how do you make it better for the people around you – or at the very least, not worse?  Scott tells us: you can be patient, supportive, and humble; see who needs help and offer it; be realistic but don’t give in to despair; and if you’re up against a wall with no hope of rescue, go out in a blaze of kindness.  We learn by imitation: it’s easy to say these things, but to see them in action, in much harder circumstances than we will ever face, is a far greater help.  And to see them exemplified by real, flawed, complicated people like us is better still; they are not fairy-tale ideals, they are achievable. Real people achieved them.

My upbringing in the 80s milieu of selfishness, which set me up to receive the Scott story so gratefully, is hardly unique.  There are millions of us who are hungry for a counter-narrative.  My generation is desperate for demonstrations of caring, whether it’s activism or social justice or government policies that don’t abandon the vulnerable.  We’ve seen selfishness poison the world, and we want an alternative.  The time for competition is past; we must cooperate or perish, but we don’t know how to do it because our mythology is founded on competition.  The Scott story, if told properly, explodes the Just World Fallacy, and liberates us from the lie that has ruled our lives: that you make your own luck.  What happens, happens: what matters is how you respond to it.  My obsession with accuracy is in part to honour the men, and in part because Cherry was the ultimate stickler and he’d give me a hard time if I didn’t, but also because, if I’m telling the story to a new generation, I’m damn well going to make sure we get that much RIGHT.  It’s been really interesting to see, online, how my generation and the next have glommed onto polar exploration narratives, not as thrilling feats of derring-do, but as emotional explorations of found family and cooperative resilience.  We love them because they love each other, and loving each other helps get them through, and we want – we need – to see how that’s done.  It’s time to give them the Terra Nova story, and to tell it fully, fairly, and honestly, in all its complexity, because that is how their example is most useful to us.  Not as gods, and not as fools, but as real human beings who were excellent to each other in the face of disaster.  I only hope that I, a latecomer to their ways, can do them justice.

[suckerforcate]

The Wheel's Will

Pairing: Moiraine SedaixReader

Word Count: 3975

Warning: panic attack, character badly hurt, sex, thigh riding, cunnilingus

Request: Hi, I like your fanfics aloot, could you write a moraine x reader where there’s romance angst and smut of course. Where reader is one of the five, and with the time they fell in love 🥰 for the angst something about moraine get hurt very badly in some battle and reader doesn’t know how to channel and they couldn’t help her or maybe a fight between the of them (@nohajnsstuff)

A/n: I hope you like it and it's how you imagined it @nohajnsstuff !!!

■-----------------------------------------■

It had been a long day. The five of you, Moiraine and Lan had travelled far and without break. The sun bad set an hour ago, and it was hard to really see anything between the trees. But Lan kept saying that you couldn't rest here, it was too dangerous. You had to travel further.

You were all tired and didn't really concentrate on your surroundings anymore, when a few Trollocs shot out of the dark. The last time they had crossed your path was at home, in the village. That had been almost a month ago, you had all seen Nynaeve die that day because of these monsters.

Rand and Lan grabbed their swords and jumped off the horses and Moiraine started channelling to fight the Trollocs. Perrin, Egwene, Mat and you felt absolutely useless. You couldn't channel, nor did you have a weapon that would help you in a fight. All you could do was watch and try to scare the Trollocs away with your horses.

Even though it was scary and a situation like this meant fearing for your life, you were being distracted by Moiraine. Sitting on her horse, concentrating, she was channelling and the weaves around her made her look incredibly beautiful. She was the only Ais Sedai you had ever seen, but you were sure no one looked as good as Moiraine when channelling.

Rand was distracted by a Trolloc to your left and Lan was fighting two at a time. So he saw the Trolloc approaching Moiraine just a second to late. When he killed him, his sword had already found its way into Moiraine's shoulder.

You let out a scream and jumped off your horse. Moiraine slowly fell off of hers and Lan caught her mid-air. Rand turned around ready to kill more Trollocs, but froze as he saw Moiraine.

You kneeled at Moiraine's side and pulled her shirt to the side, exposing the wound. Your breath hitched and fear was clearly written all over your face. The others came over as well and Egwene gasped as she saw the wound.

"She can heal herself, right?" You looked at Lan hopeful, but his eyes told you everything. Panic rose in you, "Right?".

"An Ais Sedai can heal everyone else, but never herself." Your eyes flickered up to Lan and back to Moiraine's face, distorted by pain.

"It's alright, (Y/n). I'm fine." Moiraine's voice came out thin and broken. She was not fine, that was clear to all of you standing around her.

Lan looked around you, into the darkness of the woods. He was worried that the Trollocs would come back. He looked at Moiraine and then at the five of you.

"We can't stay here, it's too dangerous. There might be more Trollocs on their way. Can you stand up and ride Moiraine?" She nodded carefully and with your help she stood up. She had a hard time getting up on her horse, but once she was sitting in the saddle it was fine.

You kept an eye on her, riding right beside her at all times. Lan was occupied with looking for Trollocs and a safe place to spend the night and the others were talking to keep their mind off of the things they had seen.

You were incredibly worried. Moiraine's face lost more and more colour, she looked weaker by the minute. The Trolloc poison was infiltrating her. You rode so close to her that you could reach over if she couldn't hold herself up anymore.

"You don't have to do this, (Y/n)." Moiraine looked at you and chuckled, but it came out weaker than usual. Proving your point, that you did have do this.

"Your weak, your skin looks like snow. I won't let you fall off the horse, cause you can't hold yourself up anymore. Let's just hope Lan finds some place to rest. You'll be alright in no time." You wanted to convince yourself more than Moiraine, but she just nodded.

Luckily not much later Lan decided that you could rest now. He had found a clearing with a lot of dry wood to make a fire. You had to keep Moiraine warm, it was the least you could do.

You helped Moiraine down and made her a place to lay down that was a little more comfortable than the bare ground. You didn't leave her side for one second until the next morning.

"Lan, she looks even worse than yesterday. She's white as snow and the wound is getting infected or something. I don't know. We have to get to the Tower, fast." He nodded, you knew that he could feel her pain, all of it. It was hard for you to just see her like this. You couldn't imagine what it must be like for him.

"She can't ride on her own. I'll take her." You went back and woke her up, she was barely awake. Constantly on the verge of unconsciousness. Perrin and Mat helped you get her up on your horse and the seven of you left the clearing.

Egwene rode beside you, looking nearly as worried as you. She gave you a comforting smile, but you weren't sure she believed it herself.

"She'll be alright. She's strong." Perrin said over his shoulder to the two of you. Rand was the only one not saying anything about Moiraine. He had been suspicious of her from the beginning. He annoyed you, she had healed his father, and yet he didn't seem to care about her at all.

A single tear rolled down your cheek, and you held Moiraine closer to you, as if you could prevent her from slipping into unconsciousness completely, if you just held onto her tight enough.

"Be strong, hold on Moiraine. Please." You whispered into her ear and felt her slightly move her head as an answer. Perrin was right, she was strong. She would be okay.

Even when it felt like the wheel didn't want her to be okay. Trollocs attacked you again. Lan and Rand were good, but not that good. There were too many for them to fight on their own. So Lan led you to Shadar Logoth.

It was quiet and abandoned, no one would attack you here. You were safe. Or so you thought.

Lan and you cared for Moiraine. She was still unconscious and very weak. You tried to clean her wound a bit, but it didn't help very much.

"We need Nynaeve. She would know something to do." Egwene stood behind you, looking over your shoulder.

"She would probably be too stubborn to help her." You spat out. It was true, Nynaeve could be incredibly stubborn. Annoyingly stubborn. But she had been Egwene's best friend.

"I'm sorry. I wish Nynaeve was here too." You tried to smile at Egwene, but it came out lopsided and sad. She smiled back and left the hall to look for the others.

A few minutes past before you heard high-pitched screams from the outside. Except for Moiraine, Lan and you all the others were outside. You looked at Lan with panic in your eyes. He stood up and went looking for what was happening. Leaving you and Moiraine alone in the darkness.

As you covered Moiraine with your jacket she woke up and looked around confused. If you remembered correctly, the last time she was awake you had still been in the forest, on your horse. She looked horrible and yet so beautiful. Her face pale as the snow, dark rings around her eyes and hair sticking to her face.

"Where are we?" She whispered. You looked around but couldn't see Lan.

"In some sort of hall in... I think Lan said, it was called Shadar Logoth." Moiraine's weak eyes widened, and she grabbed your hand.

"Where is Lan?" As you turned around to look for him, he was already there. He must have felt, that she was awake. They looked at each other for a second before Moiraine shook her head.

"You've killed us all."

Lan picked Moiraine up and carried her towards the door. Hastily you followed them.

"What's happening?" You left the hall and immediately took a step back, colliding with the closed door behind you.

A black shadow was crawling over everything. The buildings, the stones and floors. It wasn't getting closer, it was rather leaving. Like it was following something, or someone.

"Something dark has been awakened here. Come on, we have to leave." You got on your horse and Lan helped you get Moiraine up in front of you. He got on his own horse and rode off. You followed him, holding Moiraine as close to yourself as you could. You felt her get unconscious again, body falling limp against yours.

"What about the others? We can't leave them!" You shouted at Lan and as he didn't answer you already thought he didn't hear you. But as you crossed the city limits he turned his head around and looked at you.

"We'll find them again." You nodded, feeling paralysed and just followed him. Holding onto Moiraine for dear life.

You rode until you were hidden in the darkness between the trees. Lan jumped off of his horse and helped you put Moiraine down in the soft grass. She was fading away. You didn't need a bond with her to know that.

"I've learnt a bit from Nynaeve. Maybe I can find some herbs that'll still the poison from doing its work. But that's just temporary. We have to get to the Tower."

"Do it. We'll rest for an hour, and then we'll ride to the Tower." So you got to work. You found a few herbs and made a paste out of them.

Going to Moiraine you uncovered the wound and cleaned it a bit. Before you put the paste on, you stroked her cheeks gently.

"This'll hurt Moiraine. It'll sting, but you're strong. You can do this, and in no time we'll be in the Tower, and they can heal you. Everything will be okay." You weren't even sure if she could hear you, but the words were probably more important to you than to her.

Gently you spread the herbs over the wound and the infected parts around it and covered her shoulder with some linen. You sat down in the grass next to her and covered your face with your hands.

Without any warning a sob escaped you. Your body started to shake uncontrollably and tears streamed down your face. All the pressure of the last months, especially since Moiraine was hurt, crushed you beneath its weight.

It felt like your lungs weren't working properly anymore, no air found its way into your system. You couldn't breathe. Your chest felt tight, and the tears didn't stop falling down your face. Panicking you looked up and searched Lan with your eyes.

He was by your side in mere seconds. Kneeling down he held your hand and pulled you into a hug.

"Breath, (Y/n). Its alright, she will be fine. But you have to breathe." Slowly and gently he calmed you down and rocked you in his arms. You felt silly, breaking down like this, when he was right here calm and pulled together. He should be the one crying and panicking. The two of them were bonded, they knew each other longer, better.

After you had calmed down, the two of you packed everything and lifted Moiraine back onto your horse.

You rode day and night, stopping for few breaks. Never longer than one or two hours. You were exhausted, both. But all you could think of was Moiraine. You cleaned her wound, spread new paste, new herbs on it. But nothing really seemed to help.

Lan was strong, for the both of you. Still his facade started to crumble, you could see his fear, his panic growing. Every time he looked at Moiraine's pale, sweaty face.

It had been over a week since you had really slept. More than just a quick nap in between rides. Your whole body hurt, your arms became sore of holding Moiraine up on the horse all day. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered, except for her.

The sun was just rising when you saw the Tower for the first time between the treetops. You gasped and tears formed in your eyes. Relief washed over you and Lan didn't even try to hide his relief anymore.

As you rode through Tar Valon eyes were fixated on you from all sides. They all recognized Moiraine as an Ais Sedai. But you were riding so fast, you couldn't even see individual faces. They all blurred into one big crowd.

Entering the Tower with Moiraine in Lan's arms, multiple Ais Sedai were immediately at your side. Asking questions, wanting to know what happened. Lan dismissed them all and took you and Moiraine to the healers of the yellow ajah.

You were so tired it was hard to even stand up on your feet, so after the Ais Sedai looked for wounds on you, they led you to your own room. You didn't even have the power to argue anymore.

As soon as you had crawled onto the bed, you were asleep.

As you woke up it was completely dark around you. You must have slept for quite a long time. For a second you weren't sure, where you were. But as you felt the soft fabric around you and the cool breeze on your face, you remembered what had happened.

Slowly you sat up and hugged your knees, looking outside into the starry night. You desperately wanted to see Moiraine, but you were scared what you would find if you left your room. You couldn't know for sure if she was alright, if she was still alive.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, when you took up enough courage to get up and leave your room. It could have been five minutes or two hours. You actually had no idea where to go, it was your first time in the Tower after all.

You wandered around a bit before you met a blue Ais Sedai and asked her if she knew where Moiraine was. Without another word she led you to a room close by and left you alone.

Scared of what you would find, you knocked a few times. Upon hearing Moiraine's voice call you in from behind the door, you slowly opened the door and stepped in.

Moiraine sat at her desk and looked up as she heard the door close behind you. She looked healthy, wasn't as pale anymore, and her hair fell over her shoulders, freshly washed.

Tears shot out of your eyes and your hand flew to your mouth trying to silence the sob, that escaped you. Moiraine shot up from her chair and rushed over to you.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" Her brows were furrowed with worry and confusion.

You slowly raised your hands to her face and cupped her cheek. You needed to feel her under your fingers, to believe that she was actually real.

"You're alive." It came out quieter than planned but the two of you were so close that she still heard you.

Her lips formed a little grin as she wiped your tears away. "Of course I'm alive."

You shook your head violently: "You didn't see yourself, it was... Lan and I weren't sure you'd make it. You were so pale and weak. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again. Ever feel your touch again."

Moiraine's eyes widened for a second at that, but she pulled herself together and gently put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I've experienced worse, love. Also, my job isn't done yet, and the Wheel knows-..." you cut her off by crashing your lips onto hers. She momentarily froze before grabbing your waist, pulling you closer to her and kissing back. You pull back and look her deep in the eyes, smiling shyly.

"Moiraine, I-", "Don't. Please, I wouldn't know what to do, if you're the Dragon and I would know that you- How you feel for me." You chuckle at her and stroke her cheek.

"Moiraine, I'm not the Dragon. We both know that. I'm older than the others and by far not powerful enough. It's probably Egwene or Rand, everyone can see that. And I-" you kissed her passionately before going on.

"I love you, Moiraine Sedai. And I'm so incredibly happy, that you're alive and well. I was so scared." She closed her eyes and turned her head away as if that would prevent the words from being true. You forced her to face you, even though she was still shaking her head in denial.

"Moiraine, you deserve to be loved." She slowly opened her eyes and looked at you with unspoken pain and fear in her eyes. You wished you could kiss the pain away, could give her the life she truly wanted.

She leaned forward and lightly graced your lips with hers before deepening the kiss. You pressed yourself against her, wanting to be as close as possible to her, feeling as much of her warmth as you could get.

The two of you stumbled backwards until Moiraine hit the bed and fell onto it. She pulled you with her, making you fall on top of her. You supported yourself on your hands on either side of her body and looked down at her.

"You are breathtakingly beautiful." She held your gaze for a moment before laughing and looking away. You were gently kissing her again while you started to take off her shirt and pulled it over her head. It found its way to the floor, just as your jacket and your shirt did.

"I didn't even take a bath, when we came here I fell asleep immediately, and then I came to see you." You panted between kisses, trying to get it out in a straight sentence. Moiraine just kept on kissing you and shook her head as an answer. She didn't care.

Your hand wandered down her body and lightly graced her left nipple. You planted kisses on her neck, over her collarbone and down to her shoulder. You stopped at her now healed wound and carefully stroked over it, before kissing it gently.

With your hand you squeezed her breast and played with her nipple, generating a low groan from Moiraine. You kissed her over her body further and further down. A kiss on her chest, on each breast and nipple, on her stomach and down to the rim of her skirt.

You opened the bow in the front and unwrapped her skirt, taking off all of her clothes completely and throwing them away as well. Having her completely naked right in front of you nearly made you giggle like a teenaged girl, but you managed to pull yourself together.

Your left hand remained on her breast and with the other hand you spread her legs open and held her in place at the waist. Softly you kissed her inner thighs and went upwards until you reached her core. A light kiss and blow on her centre made her shiver and a gasp escaped her. You gently spread her folds with your fingers and licked over her clit. She was practically dripping and you had just started. Your tongue played with her entrance before finding its way onto her clit again. You sucked and licked over it while your finger started to gently and slowly enter her. She shuddered at the touch and let out a low moan.

"(Y/n), please." With mischievous in your eyes you looked up at her and kept on going just as slow as before. You grinned at her before answering.

"Beg." Her eyes widened, and she stared at you, in utter disbelief. Moiraine Sedai didn't beg, and you knew that. But she would have to, if she wanted more.

"Please, (Y/n). Touch me, I need you." You loved the sound of that and as a reward you fastened your pace a little. Thrusting your finger in and out of her faster and sucking on her clit at the same time. After some time you used two fingers and felt her walls slowly tighten around your fingers.

"Oh god, I'm- that's good. Please, I'm close." She covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a loud moan from waking up the whole Tower. She pressed her eyes close together and pushed your head deeper into her as she felt herself getting closer and closer to the release. You licked her clit and simultaneously sucked at it and didn't stop as her release washed over her.

"Yes, love. That's it, ahhh..." With one last muffled scream and your name on her lips she came. Her walls clenched around your fingers, you slowly rode her through the orgasm before pulling your fingers out and licking them clean.

You crawled up again and grinned at her. Kissing her deeply, she could taste herself on your lips. She quietly moaned into the kiss and breathed heavily as you pulled back.

"You looked amazing like this, incredibly beautiful." You said as you stood up from the bed and started to take of the rest of your clothes until you were naked as well.

"Sit up and lean back on the headboard." You told her, it wasn't a question, and she immediately obeyed. She instinctively stretched out her leg and spread them to give you enough room to fit there.

Climbing onto the bed again you sat down on her thigh and let her feel how wet you were. She looked up at you, surprised and flustered that she had this effect on you. She must know, you thought, how beautiful and attractive she is.

Her hands few to your waist to support you, and slowly she started to move you up and down her thigh. At the first friction between your core and her thigh you let out a moan. You had wanted this for such a long time, wanted to feel her, touch her, be hers.

You quickened your pace and held on tightly to Moiraine's shoulders for more support. Her hands were still on your waist, and she swiftly took a nipple into her mouth, as your breasts were exactly in front of her face. At that surprising touch you let out a gasp and dug your nails into her skin.

"Oh, Moiraine. I'm so close-...ahhh..." you moaned her name like a mantra over and over again as you felt yourself approach the edge.

Holding your breath for a second and letting out a loud moan, that you didn't care if anyone heard, you came. Shuddering and gasping you collapsed in Moiraine's lap. She held you tightly as you came down from your high.

After the two of you had calmed down she kissed you gently and stood up to clean herself and came back with a wash cloth to clean you as well. Looking at her care for you, you smiled to yourself. You really didn't deserve her.

She came back to bed and covered you with the sheets and just as you snuggled closer the door opened and Lan came in.

He saw the state the two of you were in and immediately turned around to not make you uncomfortable. He knew Moiraine naked, but not you.

"I apologise. I should have knocked." Moiraine looked at you and you both just burst out laughing. All the stress and fear of the last few days felt so light and unimportant in that very moment. The only thing that matter right now was that you were together. You pulled the sheets a little higher and snuggled closer to Moiraine.

"You can turn around Lan. What is it?"

[ace-and-ranty]

This is coming from a show-only fan, but. Gotta say. I was having conniptions of delight over Siuan and Moraine in this episode. It is the BEST angst I have been served in forever. It is SO good. Don't know if this is "character murder" of Book!Siuan, but I for one find this characterization extremely compelling?

Because? She's doing exactly the same thing Moiraine is doing? Sacrificing everything she loves; and everyone she loves; for what she thinks is the only thing that matters, saving the world.

The only thing is that they disagree on how that must be done. Perfectly symmetrical opposites. Their lives and hearts ground to dust beneath the wheel.

The fucking. The fucking flashback flashes. When they were torn apart. I am dead? I have died. I have been murdered, and it felt so good.

[michellecosine]

I’m finally catching up on Wheel of Time season 2 and the costumes in this show are absolutely stunning. My god. Whoever designs them deserves an award jfc

Also, I just really love this show. It’s the perfect level of “grown up” high fantasy without being too gory or too sexualized. Just. The cast and the writers and the everything. I fucking love this show.

And god damn. Rosamund Pike is an absolute legend as Moraine.