#and i remember eddie squeezing me into a TIGHT desperate feeling hug and i hugged him back just as tight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loveinhawkins · 2 years

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

They cling to each other for a long time. Gradually, Eddie’s breathing stops catching with sobs, and he becomes aware of other impressions: the water dampening his jeans as he sits on the tiles, the muffled chaos on the other side of the bathroom door—people calling desperately for loved ones, hospital staff shouting orders.

And as Eddie calms, he feels when the hug shifts, when Dustin starts to shake, and it turns more into Eddie holding him than the other way around.

Eddie takes a few deep breaths, only stuttering slightly. Swallows and tries to gather himself. “What happened to your face, man, you okay?”

Dustin nods over his shoulder. “One of the windows blew at Ste—at the house when the… when the gates...”

“Shit.” Eddie pulls back a little, and he can see the evidence of it now, little pieces of glass littering Dustin’s hair. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re fine, they stayed there. It was just one window, the house barely got hit compared to…” Dustin trails off with a shrug that Eddie takes to mean compared to the whole town. “There was an old bike in the garage, so…”

“You biked here? By yourself?” Eddie had half been hoping that he’d somehow hailed a cab or something equally miraculous, can’t fathom just how dangerous it currently is to travel alone, so exposed, if the whole town is anything like the trailer park—

The ground splitting, blood red light, Steve’s blank eyes—

Eddie shakes his head. “Jesus, Henderson. You’re damn lucky you didn’t break something.” Or worse.

“I don’t care.” Dustin lets go and fixes Eddie with a fierce stare, eyes wet. “I—Eddie.” His voice breaks. “I said I hated him.”

They’re both avoiding using Steve’s name, like saying it out loud will mean they have to face the terrible reality of it.

Eddie pushes down another wave of grief. Dustin needs to hear this. “That’s—Dustin. He knew that wasn’t true.”

“Yeah.” A harsh laugh of self-loathing, and Eddie’s heart breaks at the sound. “But I still said it. That—that says—”

“That doesn’t say anything about you,” Eddie says fiercely. “You hear me? Not a fucking thing. You…” He pulls Dustin into another hug, feels the tremors of him crying. Squeezes tight. “You were just scared. No crime in that, all right?”

“Sorry, Eddie, I—I’m just. I’m really fucking scared.”

He has no idea if Dustin is really listening, wonders distantly if this is how Wayne has felt over the years, when faced with him. He just holds onto Dustin, hopes that it’s enough, hopes that it says all that he means. Christ, kid, can’t you see how much he loved you? He’d have done anything for you.

Eddie strokes a hand through Dustin’s hair, carefully removing pieces of glass. Oh, he’d have done anything for you.

And he did.

It’s only when they pull themselves up off the floor that he notices Dustin’s limp.

“You did break something.”

“I don’t think so.” Dustin stands on the foot experimentally, then winces with a quickly stifled cry.

“Hey, don’t! Here, just…”

He gives Dustin his arm to lean on, and they walk in silence. Eddie finds that he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what balance to strike. His usual joking would just ring false, but what he actually wants to do, which is keep double checking that Dustin is okay, feels too close to… to something that Steve would do.

He doesn’t want to be a reminder of all that they’ve lost.

They find Robin waiting for them outside the restrooms. Her face is pale, blotchy, and when she runs to Dustin, wraps her arms around him, Eddie remembers—

Robin’s arms tight around his chest, holding him back. He had caught the ambulance driver glancing at his watch, realised it was to check for the time of death, and now he's making a mournful keening noise he didn’t know he was capable of.

Denial flooding him, painful, overwhelming. He can’t accept it, suddenly, even though another part of him repeats ‘he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone’ like a lament; wants to scream, “You don't understand, he can’t be—he was just talking to me—”

“Why are you just—someone fucking help him!” He's reaching for Steve, but Robin's grip is strong; he just brushes Steve’s fingers, and they’re cold, why are they—

“Eddie,” Robin is whispering brokenly. “Eddie, stop, it's—it's not him anymore.”

Eddie breathes, presses his back against the wall as Robin takes Dustin’s weight with a concerned expression.

“He needs someone to take a look at that,” Eddie says, nodding at Dustin’s leg. His voice sounds normal, if a little flat. Oh. He’s numb, he thinks.

When Robin replies, she sounds similar, looks grateful at being given a task, something to do. “They're taking minor wounds on the floor below.” She gives ‘minor wounds’ a skeptical air quote with one hand.

They start heading towards the elevator, and then Eddie sees it out of the corner of his eye. Denim jacket, a flash of plaid.

He makes sure Robin is still holding Dustin before he starts to run. People jostle against him, unseeing, slamming into his shoulders, and he keeps fighting against the tide, because—

“Wayne!” he calls desperately, feeling suddenly very young.

Up ahead, someone turns. And then there is a familiar warmth around him, ushering him to the side, away from people.

“Eddie,” his uncle says, and he looks exhausted and shaken, but otherwise unharmed.

The sight of him triggers a rush of emotion all over again, and the only thing Eddie can say is a choked, “I didn't kill her.”

Wayne’s eyes soften. “C'mon, son. You know me better than that.”

Eddie’s breath hitches again. Wayne holds him, holds him like he did when he was a child and had bad dreams, a hand cupping his head like there, now. We’ll make this right.

And then Wayne pulls back, eyes flickering over Eddie. “Christ, Eddie. You hurt?”

There’s a split second of confusion; Eddie glances down at himself, sees the blood and vomit on his shirt. Sways a little, and Wayne grabs onto him in alarm.

“No, it's not—I'm fine, Wayne. Promise.” He breathes through a lump in his throat and gets out, “A friend died,” which feels so inadequate for the enormity of what had happened.

Wayne stares at him for a long moment. Then he says, very gently, “This is something big, ain't it?” He gestures to the thronging corridor, to the windows. “What you got mixed up in?”

Eddie almost laughs at that. From Wayne’s phrasing, it sounds like he just got mixed up in the wrong crowd at school, when really, just a few days ago, lost in despair, he'd somehow found the strangest, best people in the world.

And now, he's lost one of them.

“Fuck, Wayne, there's—there's so much I want to tell you,” he says. “But I—I don't know if I can. Not yet.”

It hurts to say; Wayne’s always upheld the fact that Eddie can tell him anything and everything. He can see that Wayne is about to reply as much, but then he must spot something on Eddie's face, sense the fear.

“All right, Eddie,” he says calmly. “Not yet.” Then his eyes widen a fraction, and he moves forward, as if to shield him. “Aren't the cops still looking for you?”

“I...” Eddie shakes his head. He recalls having a very distant thought that he might get arrested as they arrived at the hospital, but it had gone as quickly as it came; because he’d seen Steve—seen the body get covered with a sheet, and Nancy's hand had gripped around Eddie’s wrist like she needed an anchor, nails piercing his skin.

“Not sure,” he finishes honestly. “I—I don't think so. I don't know why.”

Wayne studies him, then sighs. “All right,” he repeats. He doesn't sound happy about it, but he can read Eddie, read that there's somehow even bigger things to worry about. “You got people here?”

“Yeah.” Eddie blinks away the image of Steve's glassy stare, thinks of Dustin—Dustin, who still needs him. “Yeah, I...”

Wayne nods. “Go. Some folks got banged up at the plant, one of the nurses said they need volunteers.” He lets go of Eddie with reluctance. “Stay in the building, all right? I'll come find you.”

Eddie nods. It’s one of the hardest things in the world, to walk away from Wayne. He didn’t think he’d ever have this back. “I love you.”

Wayne tsks, brings Eddie in for a brief, fierce embrace. “I love you, too.”

It’s not Dustin that Eddie finds first as he retraces his steps, but Nancy, taking a call. He sees her lips move: “Mike.” Something changes. She goes very still, her grip on the phone tightening. Then, whatever she’s saying is delivered rapidly; she slams the phone down and runs right into Eddie.

“Woah, where's the fire, Wheeler?” Eddie says. His heart is already in his throat at the sight of her; she’s white as a sheet. What fucking now?

She breathes in and out, then grabs his hand. “Come on.”

They run together. Nancy doesn't provide any explanation as they hurtle up the staircase, as she leads him to a very quiet corridor in the ICU.

“Just...” She takes a breath, collects herself. “Wait here. I'll be right back.”

And she storms through another set of doors. Eddie stands there, frozen. It’s the longest fifteen minutes of his life. When she comes back, she’s much slower, and she sits down opposite him, puts her head between her knees.

“What's...? Shit, Wheeler, you're scaring me.”

She looks up. Surprisingly, her eyes are dry. “I'm about to tell you something,” she says, “and... Eddie, I'd only tell you if I was sure.”

Eddie blinks. “Shoot.”

“Okay. They—Steve. He was being taken away. To the...” Nancy's eyes dart to a sign, and Eddie fights back nausea. To the morgue. “But then they... They've found a pulse.”

The words take a while to truly hit Eddie, as if they come from a long tunnel. When they do, he feels his legs buckle, and he slides down to the floor. He's glad Dustin isn’t here; hope, false hope, is cruel.

“Nancy,” he says, through gritted teeth. "That—that’s not possible. I—I felt him—” He can’t even say it. I felt him die.

Nancy leans forward, puts her hand on one of his knees and squeezes. “I know,” she says simply. Then she stands. “Come with me.”

But Eddie doesn't want to move. He wonders if it's all been too much, if this is a trick, if Nancy’s had enough and is finally turning him in. But then he remembers how she had held onto him as they celebrated the communication with Dustin in The Upside Down. And he sees her eyes now, sharp and earnest.

So he lets her guide him onwards.

He comes to a halt outside a room. Feels a weight in the pit of his stomach, like he’s at a turning point; that maybe this is all in his head, and he'll go right back to his bedroom, and Steve will—Steve will—

Nancy’s hand slips into his. She raises her eyebrows, and it’s not quite a smile she gives him, but the expression seems to say, Together?

As one, they walk inside.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie whispers.

In a bed lies a body that looks remarkably like Steve Harrington. There’s a cast on one of his legs, but what draws Eddie’s attention is his face, the waxy pallor of it, the mask fitted tightly around his mouth. That awful stare has gone; someone has closed his eyes. Eddie doesn’t realise that he’s holding his breath until he sees the slightest movement of Steve’s chest, the weakest rise and fall... but it's there.

Eddie turns away and retches. Nothing comes up. Nancy rubs at his back.

“I spoke to some... there’s doctors who—they know about. Everything. They told me that they're not really worried about his leg, it just seems like a normal break,” she says. Her voice wavers slightly, like she's fighting tears. “The... the bites on his stomach stopped bleeding, but... it's his lungs, they think.” She nods at the mask. “They're giving him the same stuff they gave Will, after he was in The Upside Down. They say it's the best chance he's got.”

Eddie thinks about Steve throwing up. His gasping breaths. Panicking. Fuck, he can’t breathe. Then—

“He was coughing,” he says. The memory feels hazy, as if it happened years ago. “When we were… on the bikes, to my trailer. I could hear him.”

He feels shaky again. Nancy draws up two chairs, close to Steve’s bed, and they sit.

He is aware, suddenly, of a slow but steady beeping. A heart monitor.

It doesn’t feel real. Eddie pinches the skin on the back of his hand hard, half expects to see a clock instead of…

“Fucking hell, Wheeler,” he sighs. “What are we gonna do?”

“Make sure he’s not alone,” Nancy says.

They keep a silent vigil. At some point, Nancy rises, flits out of the room. Eddie hears hushed conversation just outside, and then Dustin and Robin come in, Dustin hobbling on crutches. Robin makes a wounded noise, reaches forward and holds Steve’s hand so gently.

Eddie doesn’t dare touch him. Something in the back of his mind whispers that he might break the spell, that Steve might crumble away into nothing if he so much as—

“It doesn’t look like him,” Dustin says. He sounds torn between anger and despair. “He looks… gone.”

Eddie sucks in a breath. “I know.” Because Dustin has voiced his precise fear: that this is all that remains. A different death, but a death all the same.

It happens much later, when Dustin has been shepherded back to Steve’s house by Nancy and Robin. “We’ll check on the kids,” Nancy had said, “and then we’ll be back.”

“Take your time,” Eddie told her, noting the sunken, fatigued look to all of them.

They’ve been gone for just over an hour when Eddie, fighting sleep, realises that he hasn’t told Wayne about the state of the trailer. He almost wants to search for him, but he doesn’t dare leave the room, even if he can only really look at the hospital sheets, his eyes darting away from Steve’s face. Dustin’s right; he looks gone.

He hears it half in a dream, eyes closing despite himself. A radio, faintly, from another room, a cleaner leaving the door ajar.

Leaving nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town. Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town.

He jolts awake sharply, as if his body is already aware of something before his mind has understood. Still blinking away sleep, this time he does not look away when his eyes land on…

It’s barely there. But Eddie sees it: the faintest of creases on Steve’s forehead.

Eddie stares. Then it clicks.

“Holy shit,” he says, hushed, afraid that if he speaks too loudly, it will all stop. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry—he ends up doing a mixture of both. “Harrington, is this your fucking song?”

The sound of the radio fades away, and with it so does the tiniest of frowns. Desperately, Eddie picks up the chorus himself, stumbling over the words in his haste; and this time, he sees it happen, the change from an unnatural laxness to…

A little pinch in between Steve’s brows, subtle, but there.

“Fuck, it’s really you,” Eddie says. “You’re still in there.” His eyes burn with tears. He reaches for Steve’s hand, holds on despite the lingering coldness to his skin. “Christ, please keep fighting, man. Please.”

#the self sacrificial steve agenda #steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #robin buckley #wayne munson

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hotshotsxyz · 3 years

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would you love me for the hell of it?

buddie (2.4k) (read it on AO3)

As stupid as it seems now, Eddie always thought they’d have more time.

He should know better. If the bullet wounds that riddle his body weren’t evidence enough, the scarring that he knows twists across Buck’s leg should have been. It wasn’t, though. Despite everything they’d been through, Eddie always thought they’d have enough time.

Now, though, as he opens the door to find Buck already standing in front of it, he knows they’ve finally run out. Eddie draws him into a hug without a second thought. There’s no space left for pretenses.

“I didn’t even knock,” Buck says into his shoulder. Eddie can hear the unsteadiness in his voice and it breaks his heart all over again. None of it was supposed to happen like this.

“I was coming to find you,” Eddie says thickly. “You weren’t answering your phone.”

“I couldn’t stop checking the time, so I turned it off,” Buck admits. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie let’s go of Buck, but only long enough to grab his hand and pull him inside. “It’s okay,” Eddie says softly. “I get it.” And he does, god he does. He’d unplugged the microwave hours ago, just so he didn’t have to see its mocking green numbers staring back at him.

“Buck!” Christopher exclaims from the living room floor.

“Hey, buddy!” Buck says, crouching next to him. It amazes Eddie that, even now, Buck manages to exude the bright, beautiful energy he always has in front of Christopher. He kind of loves him for it.

It’s not the first time Eddie’s had the thought, but it might be the first time that he has no urge to run from it or to push it down until he can put Buck neatly back into the best friend slot he’d occupied in Eddie’s mind for so long. What’s the point in all that now? Whatever he’d been afraid of losing, there’s a countdown on all of it now.

Christopher’s explaining his drawing in detail to Buck, and it makes Eddie’s heart ache. Sure, Chris has been growing like a weed lately, but Eddie’d figured he had a year or two left of this at least.

Maybe time has always been the enemy, and he’s just the last one to work it out.

Thank god for Buck. As much as it hurts, knowing with certainty now just how good Buck is at pretending to be okay, Eddie can’t help but be grateful for Chris’s sake. He sits down on the couch next to them and puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder, just because he can. Buck looks up at him questioningly, and Eddie offers him a small smile. Buck nods and smiles back, but Eddie can read the sadness there.

“Can we watch a movie?” Chris asks eventually.

“Yeah, mijo, pick one out,” Eddie says, opening the Netflix app on the TV and handing Christopher the remote. “Me and Buck will make snacks.”

He stands, knowing Buck will follow.

In the kitchen, Eddie allows his facade to crack, just a little. He rests his head tiredly against Buck’s shoulder, smiling a little when Buck’s arms automatically encircle him.

“I thought you’d be with Maddie,” he says softly.

Eddie feels Buck shake his head and swallow. “I saw her, Chim, and Jee this morning. But I needed -- god, Eddie, you have to know.”

Eddie pulls back and looks Buck in the eye. He sees love reflected there, just like he always has. “I do,” he says softly. “Me too.”

Buck lets out a wounded noise and pulls Eddie back into the embrace.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Eddie whispers, eyes burning with unshed tears.

“No place I’d rather be for the end of the world,” Buck jokes weakly. His hands tremble against Eddie’s back.

None of it was supposed to happen like this. The comet was supposed to pass close enough to Earth to be a spectacular show for anyone in the Eastern hemisphere, then continue its way around the sun and back out into the Kuiper belt. Hell, Chris has been excited about it, Buck too. They’d been talking about it for months, Buck helping Christopher learn everything he could about where comets came from and what they were made of.

And then something happened. Eddie doesn’t really understand it, but he keeps hearing words like dark matter and quantum mechanical black hole and gravity wells. The gist of it, though, Eddie gets. Something changed the path of the comet, and instead of passing them by harmlessly, it’s now on a collision course. The entire world got less than two week’s warning.

The comet is something like eleven miles wide, he’d heard on the radio. Large enough for an extinction-level event, Buck had told him quietly.

He knows that there are people around the world frantically working to prevent that. He also knows that the odds are bleak. It all came down to time, all over again. There wasn’t enough. There never is.

“Am I doing the right thing?” Eddie asks Buck softly. “Not telling Christopher?”

The fierceness with which Buck answers surprises him, though perhaps it shouldn’t. “He doesn’t need to know. You’re doing the right thing, Eds, he shouldn’t have to face this. Either the world doesn’t end, and we scared him for no reason, or…” Buck trails off, but Eddie gets his meaning.

Eddie swallows and nods. “You’re right,” he says. “He doesn’t-“ he cuts himself off and shuts his eyes tight.

Buck squeezes him again. I’m here, the gesture says. Eddie squeezes back.

The movie Christopher picks is one they’ve seen before, and Eddie’s grateful. It’s easier to tune it out, to keep his eyes on Christopher and Buck instead.

When they’d returned with snacks, Christopher had immediately asked if he could sit with Buck. Buck had turned to him, expression stricken. The sentiment was obvious.

“Only if Buck sits with me,” Eddie’d replied. They’d ended up pressed together from their shoulders to their ankles with Chris sprawled out across both of them.

It’s the kind of domesticity Eddie’s caught himself daydreaming about more than once.

When the movie ends, Chris asks to stay up and wait for the comet. Of course he’d remembered it’s tonight. Eddie doesn’t know why he expected otherwise.

“No, buddy, we’ll watch the video tomorrow,” Eddie says. The lie tastes like ash on his tongue.

Chris begins to pout, but Buck steps in.

“Trust me,” he says. “If we wait until tomorrow, we’ll get to watch the best video, instead of some shakey news camera. You wouldn’t want to spoil that, would you?” Buck asks, pasting on his most infectious grin. Knowing it’s fake makes Eddie’s chest ache.

“Tell you what, though,” Eddie says, “how about we all have a sleepover in my room tonight?”

Christopher cheers at that.

Eddie smiles. It’s small and it’s watery, but it’s real. Buck presses his shoulder further into Eddie’s, a comforting pressure.

“Go get ready for bed and pick out a book, okay?”

Christopher grins and slides off the couch. The tears that have been threatening at the corners of Eddie’s eyes all night long return with a vengeance, and as soon as Christopher disappears around the corner, they finally fall.

His shoulders shake silently, and Buck pulls him to his chest. Buck’s warm fingers card through his hair, and he could swear he feels the ghost of a kiss pressed against the top of his head. Under any other circumstance, the thought would be electrifying. Now, though, it just makes the ache inside him grow.

In another lifetime, they could have had this. Decades, maybe, of unrestrained affection. Love. God, what had they been waiting for?

He feels the unsteadiness of Buck’s breath and knows without looking that he’s crying too. Mourning the same thing, Eddie suspects.

He hears Christopher making his way back towards them, and reluctantly pulls out of Buck’s embrace. He does his best to wipe the tears away and school his expression, but if the way Christopher frowns at him is any indication, he isn’t successful.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asks, looking between them.

Eddie pulls him close and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Everything’s okay,” he says softly.

“Your Dad and I were just talking about something sad,” Buck says, “but you don’t need to worry about it, okay?”

“What was it?” Chris asks.

Buck looks panicked and desperately sad, all at once.

“There were some people we couldn’t save,” Eddie says. This, at least, feels something like the truth. “And that made us feel sad, buddy.”

“It’ll be okay,” Christopher says seriously, looking at both of them in turn.

“You’re right,” Buck says, sounding a little choked up. “As long as we’re all together, it will be.”

They settle in Eddie’s bed and read a chapter from Chris’s book, the fifth in the Percy Jackson series. They’re barely halfway through it, but part of Eddie wants to push through the rest. He wants to know how it ends. Wants Christopher to know. Christopher should get to —

Eddie screws his eyes shut. Christopher should get to graduate, to fall in love, and to have kids of his own. He should get to grow old and gray and he should get to finish his damn book.

It’s not fair. None of this is fair.

All of the things Chris has been through - losing his mom, the tsunami, nearly losing Eddie - what’s the point of it all if he doesn’t get to grow from it, to heal past it?

Eddie wants to scream and cry and punch something. Instead, he keeps reading, steadily as he can, until Christopher is fast asleep between him and Buck.

After a few minutes of silence, both of them watching the steady rise and fall of Christopher’s chest, Buck taps Eddie’s wrist and nods towards the hall. He slips out of bed, and Eddie follows, careful not to jar Chris.

He finds Buck leaning against the wall, head tipped back, eyes closed. Eddie stands next to him, mindless of personal space. It had always been an afterthought between them, anyway.

“I’m in love with you,” Buck says casually, after several moments of silence. He opens his eyes and tips his head forward, gaze landing on Eddie. “I can’t even remember why I was so afraid to say it.”

“Me too,” Eddie says. He laces his fingers with Buck’s. “I’m in love with you too. I have been, I don’t even know how long.”

Buck chuckles softly, sadly. “We have the worst timing,” he says, turning his entire body towards Eddie.

Eddie turns to meet him, and Buck’s hand comes up to graze Eddie’s jaw.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie asks, surprising himself. It shouldn’t feel like such a leap, but it does. It’d be terrifying, but Eddie’s always trusted Buck to catch him when he falls.

Instead of answering, Buck leans in and brushes his lips against Eddie’s, soft and gentle and everything and altogether not enough. Eddie chases him as he pulls back, capturing him in a deeper kiss. It’s hard and desperate, yet somehow achingly tender as if their bodies know that their first kisses will almost certainly be their last.

Buck lets out a half-choked sob and buries his fingers in Eddie’s hair. He doesn’t let go, even as they break the kiss, just leans their foreheads together. Somewhere along the line, Eddie’s fingers have fisted in Buck’s shirt. He doesn’t let go either.

“Eddie,” Buck says, raw and grief-stricken.

“Evan,” Eddie whispers. It’s only the second time he’s used Buck’s given name. If the way Buck’s breath hitches is any indication, he notices too.

Buck kisses him again then, filthy at first, then slowing into something sweet. In another lifetime, Eddie could spend hours like this, trading kisses with Buck. In this lifetime though…

Eddie cups Buck’s jaw and pulls back. “I love you,” he says because if this is his only chance, he’s not going to let Buck doubt it for a minute.

“I love you, too.”

Eddie takes Buck by the wrist and pulls him back into the bedroom, turning off lights as they go. They break apart just long enough to settle on either side of Chris, facing one another. Buck throws an arm across both of them, and Eddie brushes an errant lock of hair from Buck’s forehead.

The minutes tick by slowly as they lay in the dark, until Eddie finally speaks.

“If there’s something after all this…” Eddie whispers, “Promise you’ll find me?”

Buck lifts his arm and holds out his pinky finger. Eddie wraps his own around it.

“I promise,” Buck says.

It means something. It has too.

Eddie doubts he’ll sleep, but somehow, in between listening to Christopher’s breathing and watching Buck watch him, he slips into a dark, dreamless slumber.

The sunlight that wakes Buck is warm on his face, just like the sheets that pool around his waist. He wants to luxuriate in it, to let the sweetness of sleep pull him back under, but this time of year, if the sun’s already out, he’s late for work.

Buck’s eyes fly open. The sun’s out. He’s in Eddie’s bed. He’s late for work. Holy shit. He doesn’t even try to contain the grin that spreads across his face. He rolls over and shakes Eddie’s shoulder.

“Eddie, Eddie, wake up,” he whispers excitedly.

Eddie lifts his head, looking rumpled and adorable. He grumbles something completely unintelligible, and the smile on Buck’s face gets even wider.

“We’re late for work,” Buck says, practically bouncing.

“Shit,” Eddie says, scrubbing a hand across his face.

“Eds, you don’t understand. We’re late for work.”

The sleep clears from Eddie’s face almost as quickly as it had from Buck’s. “Oh my god,” he says, taking in the decidedly intact world around them. “It missed. Buck, it missed!”

Eddie surges forward, mindful of the still-sleeping Christopher between them, and kisses him square on the lips. They’re both smiling too hard for it to go anywhere, but it’s still the best kiss of Buck’s life.

Eventually, they’ll get up. They’ll distract Christopher with pancakes and turn on the news to learn that the global joint effort to divert the comet (“They nuked a comet, Eddie! That’s insane!”) was a success. They’ll find Christopher the video they promised, in a press release from NASA. They’ll let him see the comet’s bright blazing path across the sky, but they won’t tell him just how close it came. They’ll text Bobby to let him know they’re running late. They’ll receive a reply to let them know that, just this once, it’s okay. They’ll do all of these things in time, but for now, they bask in the simple joy of being alive and together.

Another lifetime, Eddie had thought the night before. No, he’s going to make this one count.

#sorry for the repost i don't think this showed up in the tags the first time lol #911 #buddie #9-1-1 #abbie writes #fic

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buckaroosboogara · 3 years

Text

911 week - Day 4:

“It’s always been you.” + love

(1700~ words, Buck and Eddie, blackout fic.)

@911week

"How long have we been here? Are you okay?" Buck asked, his throat begging for water.

"We have been here for," Eddie looked at his watch, the only source of light in the elevator. "3 hours."

"Are you okay?" He asked one more time.

Eddie's silence dragged for almost a minute before Buck spoke again.

"I need to know if you are hurt."

"I'm fine... physically." He finally said, taking air sharply. "The darkness and tight space... it reminds me of..."

"The well accident. Fuck."

The first thing Buck noticed when he woke up was that he was in a dark place.

It was hot, closed, and pitch-black. Tight.

He didn't like the implications of that.

He tried to move from his laying position only to be stopped by a stabbing pain in his skull.

Buck hissed as he laid on the floor again and a voice sounded in the dark, quiet but worried.

"Hey, hey, Buck, you are awake," The voice said out of breath. Buck felt a hand come to his shoulder clumsily and pat him. "Welcome back."

Buck grunted. His throat was dry and his mouth felt like sand, contrary to his skin which felt soaked in sweat. At least the pain was more bearable.

He turned on his back to sense the voice's owner, Eddie, sitting next to him on the floor. "What happened?"

"What happened was that we were helping a woman out of this elevator when the lights went off again and the elevator went down some stores before I pressed the emergency button." Eddie explained, with his breaths still shaky. "You hit your head pretty bad and I bandaged it with what I could. The radios don't work here, so I'm hoping Bobby will notice we are not out there with them."

Buck's hand climbed to his wet forehead where a piece of cloth was held to his skin with two pieces of tape. Rough but it would work.

"What happened with our coats' flashlights? And our helmets?"

"They ran out of battery, we used them for 8 hours straight Buck." Eddie yawned. "I took mine off as well as yours, this place feels like an oven. And the helmets... they are somewhere here."

"I kind of became desperate when I couldn't see or hear you. I haven't been able to look for them." Eddie huffed.

"And how long have we been here? Are you okay?" Buck asked, his throat begging for water.

"We have been here for," Eddie looked at his watch, the only source of light in the elevator. "3 hours."

"Are you okay?" He asked one more time.

Eddie's silence dragged for almost a minute before Buck spoke again.

"I need to know if you are hurt."

"I'm fine... physically." He finally said, taking air sharply. "The darkness and tight space... it reminds me of..."

"The well accident." Buck said with a huff. "Fuck, Eds I..."

"I am fine." Eddie forced out through his gritted teeth.

"Eddie-"

"No. I'm fine. End of conversation, we need to keep the oxygen."

Buck nodded although Eddie couldn't see him.

So he would of course avoid the topic.

He heard Eddie place his head against the metallic wall and breathe with difficulty.

Buck rolled his eyes, he knew how stubborn Eddie could be and he didn't need that in stressful moments like that one.

"Have any news about Chris?"

"Nope. My phone died like an hour ago," Eddie answered. "I couldn't find yours."

"Well, that's because mine is..." Buck muttered as he looked for the device on the back pocket of his pants. "Safe on my ass."

Eddie snorted a laugh and Buck smiled, mission accomplished.

The phone almost slipped from his hands and the air was taken from his lungs.

He turned it on and the light made him hiss. He could now see the elevator - it was indeed very small - and he could see Eddie, who was very much shirtless. His shirt was on his shoulders, missing the piece that was on his head.

"I-I guess I'll have to buy a new one. Great." He said, avoiding to look at the man by his side.

The device buzzed with a notification of very low battery, only 5%, and Buck noticed the screen had cracked in the fall.

"I could buy you one, after all, it's my fault that it's broken. Now give me." Eddie spoke and Buck did as told.

"So, what's the diagnosis doc?"

The former medic proceeded to turn the flashlight on and crouched in front of Buck to check his pupils.

"Pupils are matching, but you will need a CT scan once we get out of here."

Buck groaned again. He hated those.

Eddie passed Buck his phone but stayed still in front of him for some seconds.

Apart from being very much shirtless, Buck noticed he was very much pale and shaking. There was fear in his shiny eyes, which were scanning him in detail.

A hyperfixation.

Buck closed his eyes as he sighed, he should have known.

"Are you having a panic or anxiety attack?"

Eddie went back to his side feeling embarrassed and huffed a humorless laugh, "Honestly... I don't know. It just feels bad."

Buck shifted positions to look fully at Eddie. "It's okay. I'm here Eddie, I just need you to breathe. Will you do it with me?"

Eddie nodded, the world went black again.

His phone had died.

Eddie's breaths went faster.

"No, no, don't do that. You are going to hyperventilate and we don't want that." Buck grabbed Eddie's hand and squeezed it. "I'm here okay? I'm here with you. We are going to breathe together, how about that?"

"O-Okay."

"Inhale, one... two... three... four... yeah like that, and exhale, one... two... three... four..."

Some minutes later Eddie could calm down, the shudders went away with the cold sweat and they stayed in silence. Buck's hand was still tangled with Eddie's, on the other man's lap.

That encouraged Eddie to voice his thoughts.

"I... I hadn't remembered what it felt like until today. Not for years." He whispered into the air.

"I could have died. But I remembered a promise I made Chris once." Eddie turned his head to watch Buck. He found pitch-black that somehow made it easier to talk. "That I would always fight to come back to my family."

Eddie looked at the front again and simply said, "You are my family."

He felt Buck's body tensing by his side as he started stuttering. "I- I Eddie-"

"Why did you think I changed my will? I trust you more than I trust my own parents." He scoffed bitterly, squeezing his hand.

"I... I thought you only saw me as your best friend."

"If you knew..." he shut his mouth quickly. He had gone too far.

How could he have gone that far? Voicing his thoughts didn't mean telling Buck the truth about the things he felt for him. About the warm wave of happiness that washed over him every time they locked eyes. Every time Buck smiled. Every time Buck was with Chris.

The feeling of home never faded whenever he was with Buck, instead, it gained strength every time they saw each other.

"If I knew... what?" Buck asked and Eddie could feel his look on his side. His cheeks started to burn.

"Eddie-?" Buck was cut by hot lips on his cheek, giving him just a sweet short peck and going away. He gasped and Eddie tried to untangle their hands but Buck grabbed him tighter.

With his heart running wild on his chest, he reached a hand into the darkness and found a chest, he went up until he found Eddie's chin and clumsily made their lips meet halfway.

The kiss turned to be as good as a kiss in the darkness could be.

So unexpected, so romantic.

It was a mess. Both were a hot, sticky mess - in the good way, not the horny one - in a dark elevator at 5 am, sealing their mouths in their first kiss.

Buck loved it.

Eddie loved it too.

They separated to catch up with their breaths and smiled to the dark.

"If you knew," Eddie started, feeling Buck's head resting on his chest. "That it’s always been you, Buck.”

"I always saw you, Evan Buckley. For who you are, your good things and your bad things. I've seen your worst and your best, and I wanna be there for and with you in them for the rest of our lives."

"Ever since I saw you in the firehouse for the first time, since I saw you smiling in your car when we went to look for Christopher after the earthquake, since I saw you pinned under that truck... I have always known it's you. You who I want to experience life. You who I wanna watch Chris grow. You who I wanna marry someday. You who I wanna grow old with." Eddie answered with a smile.

"I love you too."

"Eddie... Oh god, all this time you... Fuck, I- I want that too." Buck chuckled, placing his hand carefully on his jawline and pulling him for another kiss.

"I love you."

The last thing they expected next was to hear the 118 outside the doors, having heard half of the conversation.

"As much as I love listening to you two getting your shit together-" Hen's voice cut through the elevator's doors. "And I really love it, we need to get you two outta there so, Albert! Bring the jaws!"

Then cheers were heard as both were freed from the elevator, coming out half hugging the other.

"You should have told me it would take you some hours in a sauna to get together! I would have gladly paid!" Chimney teased them.

"Amen, you said it, Chim." Hen agreed, making Buck seat on the gurney and transporting him down with the rest of the crew.

She checked both of them once they were in the parked ambulance and exclaimed to the street, "You all owe me 20 bucks each!"

The couple heard the whole 118 groan before they closed the ambulance doors and started making their way to the hospital, the light of the sunrise illuminating the city which was slowly recovering the electricity.

"You had a bet on us?" Buck whined from the gurney.

"Yup, and I just won. Took you three years and a month, but who's counting?" Hen smirked.

Eddie rolled his eyes fondly and took Buck's hand. "You can have all the bucks you want Hen. I already have the one I love."

(Tagging: @perfectlynervousbeard bc they asked me)

Chimney cried from the front, "Ugh, they are going to be that type of couple."

...

#911week2021 #:)#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck and eddie #buck x eddie #911 the blackout #911 speculation #blackout fic #911 on fox #911 fox #soft #love #my fics

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frankchurchillsaysrelax · 4 years

Text

wherever you’re going i’m going your way

That night Buck dreams of a person he’s never met, of a life that was never lived. He has nothing to work with apart from a photo and a name, but he’s always had an active imagination and tonight it carries him to places that could have been.

The house Buck stands in front of is dark and cold, shadows creeping out of the ground, curling mysteriously along the siding as the wind whistles secrets against shuttered windows. He doesn’t know this place. He doesn’t like this place. He knows he should walk away but his feet feel stuck, anchored to this spot.

“Evan!”

He turns to look down the street and sees a boy on a bike riding straight towards him. He looks familiar and just his presence breathes warmth into the air. Buck feels like he can move again and when he does he’s just a little boy, gangly limbs tripping him up as he moves to be closer to the older boy, desperately wanting to be caught up in his orbit.

Gravel kicks up where tires come to an abrupt stop. The sun shines brightly behind the boy, reflecting off of sandy blonde curls and expanding that feeling of warmth all around them. He knows this boy, he just can’t remember where from.

“You know mom doesn’t like you being out here by yourself,” the boy says. “Get inside before you get yourself in trouble, kid.”

“I’m not by myself!” Buck laughs, running up to the bike, reaching out with stubby fingers wrapped around the handlebars, his feet only just skimming the ground. The boy’s balance never waivers, seemingly well accustomed to this move.

“Can I ride on your handlebars, Danny? Please?” Buck looks up, squinting against the sun. He draws the last word out with an exaggerated pout of his lips and he knows, just knows, that this boy will do whatever he asks.

The boy, Danny, shakes his head but is smiling. “Don’t tell mom,” he orders seriously before reaching out to pick Buck up and put him in place on the bike. Buck feels like a king on his throne from way up here with no fear of any danger coming to him. Danny would never allow it.

Wind whips against his cheeks catching the corners of his smile as they ride together down the street.

Buck feels the wind against his face but realizes too late that he is falling. He’s falling and there is nothing to catch him, just his hands meeting pavement. There’s the burning feeling of skin breaking and then his knees hit the ground sending pain ricocheting up his legs. Laughter is the next thing he’s aware of, coming at him from all sides, pushing him down further into the hot blacktop beneath him.

“Stay down, you freak.” Buck looks up and oh, he instantly remembers being here before. Sam Powers hovers over him with a sneer on his freckled face. It’s third grade and Sam has once again decided he’d rather not look at Buck’s birthmark any longer. Dread builds at the memory of what comes next. Behind them a bus door closes as the oblivious driver pulls away from the curb, little faces pushed up against glass to watch Buck’s torment.

“Get away from him you little creep.” The words sound like a roar, louder than any bus or laughter or shame.

Buck looks up from his spot on the ground to see Daniel striding towards them through the circle of onlooking children. He looks like a god from down here, Buck thinks. He’s so tall that his golden hair touches the sky and his letterman’s jacket draws a chorus of unsuppressed awe from the crowd. He’s nothing but impressive and Buck feels only pride at the knowledge that this is his brother, come to save the day.

This never happened back then, Buck thinks sadly. The thought floats away as quickly as it came and then he’s back in the present watching as his savior finally reaches him, bending down to help him up and dust him off. The other kids watch on but Daniel pays them no mind as he takes Buck’s small hands in his and frowns at the angry, red skin peeling away from his palms. The skin feels cooler under such careful attention.

“Come on, kid.” He puts an arm around Buck’s shoulders and leads him away from the scene. They stop long enough for Daniel to level Sam with a glare so threatening it leaves the bully visibly shaken, freckles more stark against his pale drawn face.

Buck smiles the whole way towards the jeep he himself drove through high school. Once he’s settled in the passenger’s seat, Buck shares a look with his brother, feeling like he’s being included in a secret and instantly feeling infinitely cooler than the sad memory of the little boy curled up on the ground surrounded by his laughing peers. Daniel closes the door with a wink.

Buck slams the door to his jeep and clicks the button to lock the door with an echoing beep. His shoulders are heavy beneath the weight of his backpack and the general stress of being a senior in high school. He drags his tired feet across the driveway and lets himself into the side door of the house.

“Hi, honey,” his mom’s voice carries out from the kitchen, cheerful and soothing like warm tea and honey on a rainy day.

The backpack has disappeared from his shoulders but the oppressive weight remains and Buck is drawn to her, seeking out the palliative nature that fills the house with only two words.

“Hi mom,” he says quietly, pressing a brief kiss to her cheek. It feels totally normal, habitual, like they have been this affectionate his entire life.

She looks different, wrong somehow. She’s older than she should be, her hair shorter than she used to wear. She’s smiling, he realizes. Her smile is warm, comforting, and safe, highlighting the creases at the corners of her eyes, and before he knows it he is dragging her closer for a hug.

She wraps her arms around him without hesitation, her hands rub gentle circles between his shoulders and it feels like Maddie or Athena but more. It feels like a hug from his mom.

“There’s something for you on the table,” she tells him. He separates himself from the embrace reluctantly, arms moving to a script he doesn’t want to follow, and walks towards the kitchen table. On it is a large white envelope, the blue and white Nittany lion staring up at him, bold and proud. His mom’s hand rests easily on his shoulder and stops him from floating above solid ground.

“Congratulations, honey.” He was alone the last time this happened. “Your father and I couldn’t be more proud.” The words have him spinning with an unknown happiness.

He spins around and there is Maddie in her old nurses’ scrubs looking exhausted but healthy and so young.

“Maddie! You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here, Evan,” she says tiredly. “I work here.” She’s evasive, walking around him without looking directly at him. Her sneakers squeak against the too clean hospital floors as she walks further away. The wide, white halls surround them but in the corner a shadow looms, waiting for a chance to reach out and swallow them in its darkness.

“You haven’t been answering any of my calls. Or mom’s. Or Daniel’s.” He reaches out for her, unsurprised but still guilty when she flinches slightly. The shadow coils like a snake ready to strike. “We’re worried about you Maddie.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, Evan.” She finally looks at him, a familiar perfectly fake smile spread too tight across her face. “I’m happy,” she promises. She takes a step closer to the shadow. “I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

“I don’t believe you. Please, Maddie, talk to me. I know something is wrong with him, I know you need to get away. Please just leave him,” he pleads. All the words he never had the guts to say come flowing out as a river of truth.

A pinky wraps around his though Maddie does not move. The shadow curls around her leg, claiming her. Buck looks to his right and there is Daniel in his white doctor’s coat standing strong and silent beside him. It’s like that day on the playground all over again only now Buck stands tall beside him. Together they are unstoppable. A united front. They each reach a pinky out towards their sister.

“Come with us, Maddie,” Daniel tells her with an authoritative big brother voice. Sunshine pours from his mouth cutting at the shadow with sharp rays of light.

She looks between them and finally, finally closes the circle, pinkies locked together with theirs allowing them to pull her toward warmth and safety, a light brighter than any other emerging from her to scare the darkness away.

The flash nearly blinds him. Maddie takes photo after photo of him and the small bundle in his arms. His niece is like air his hands try too hard to hold onto, far too fragile for someone so big to be holding all by himself.

“Be sure to cradle the head.”

Daniel is here, of course he is. Present at the official welcoming party for their tiny, precious niece and as always steady at his side. Athena and Bobby’s back yard is bursting with life and love once again as everyone Buck loves gathers in one place.

His mom and dad, now holding the baby, stand off to the side, bright smiles on their faces that Buck has never seen before. Maddie glows at the center of everything as Chimney, Hen and Eddie orbit around her. Bobby and Michael are at the grill while Athena, Karen, and May play with the kids. Everyone here, happy, healthy, and alive, the air buzzing with energy.

“This is a pretty good family you’ve got here, kid.”

Buck turns to look at his brother but instead finds that young boy on the bike watching the group of people around them with a wistful look on his face.

Buck wakes to the early morning light shining through his windows. Despite this and the noise Albert makes downstairs, he squeezes his eyes shut tight, desperate to not let the dregs of his dreams slip out of reach.

#my fic #911 fanfic #911 fic #evan buckley #daniel buckley #911 #911 fox #my first 911 fic and it has to be a dream sequence because of course #also i hate the ending #so yes i know it’s bad #whoops...this isn’t my side blog

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sofuckingchuffed · 4 years

Note

Buddie “Go back to sleep.”

Ahhhh my first Buddie fic! Thanks for being patient with me and for encouraging me xxx

And a huge thanks to @lionheartedghost for always encouraging me to write and for letting me bounce ideas off you and seek validation.

AO3

---

Buck glanced over at Eddie on the other side of the bed, his face relaxed and peaceful, and for a moment he couldn’t help but turn his glance into a stare, a smile tugging at his lips as a bittersweet warmth filled him up. Eddie always looked beautiful, but he looked especially beautiful like this, face soft, bathed in moonlight, all his troubles stripped away in a way that made him look young and innocent and fresh.

It made it harder to leave but he knew he had to.

Carefully, he slid out from under the covers, barely even jostling the bed as he eased his weight off the mattress. He tiptoed across the room to collect his clothes that had been discarded haphazardly just hours earlier.

Eddie muttered something Buck couldn’t hear and he froze completely, waiting for him to settle again before he pulled his clothes on. He watched as Eddie reached across the bed for him, frown tugging at his lips when he was met with an empty bed.

“Buck?” He asked, voice scratchy with sleep.

“Go back to sleep,” Buck said gently.

His words seemed to have the opposite effect, however, and Eddie was soon sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

“You’re sneaking out on me?”

Buck could have sworn Eddie sounded hurt and he felt a flash of guilt.

“Uh,” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly acutely aware of how naked he was. “I mean, not sneaking.” He settled on.

“No? ‘Cause you seemed pretty intent on keeping quiet.”

“Only ‘cause I didn’t wanna wake you,” Buck insisted.

“Right. You didn’t want to wake me because you’re sneaking out before sunrise like a one night stand instead of saying goodbye like a normal human being.”

Buck could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage, uncertainty bubbling up inside of him. He’d assumed this was just a drunken fumble, something that should be forgotten the next morning, and despite wanting desperately for it to mean more than that, he’d also wanted to spare the uncomfortable morning after where Eddie had to explain to Christopher why he was there and be forced to politely offer Buck breakfast. And if he was being completely honest, he was attempting to protect himself from feeling unwanted, from potentially being thrown out and having his heart trampled on once Eddie realised he’d made a mistake and that his mistake had stayed the night.

“Go then,” Eddie muttered, flopping back down onto his pillow. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I…” Buck paused, frowning at the hurt in Eddie’s voice. “I thought you’d want me gone.”

Eddie sat back up quickly, frowning. “Why would I want that?”

“Because we were drunk and we’re friends, colleagues, and this should never have happened, and I’d apologise for letting it happen but honestly I’m glad it did and, well, I was just trying to spare you an awkward morning after with the mistake you made the night before so—“

“Buck, stop,” Eddie cut Buck’s rambling off harshly, holding one hand up as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What the hell are you talking about.”

“Look, I’m used to being a mistake,” Buck muttered, turning his eyes to the ground. “It’s okay.”

Eddie was silent for what felt like forever, and if he didn’t feel frozen on the spot, he would have taken the silence as his cue to leave. Instead, he just stood there, eyes focussed on a small chip in the floorboards, wishing more than anything that the ground would swallow him whole and somehow plant him in his own bed where no one could see him--where Eddie couldn’t see him.

“Come here,” Eddie said gently, and when he forced himself to look up, Eddie’s hand was outstretched, reaching for him, a soft, sad little smile on his face.

Buck swallowed the rising lump in his throat and obeyed, not sure what else he should do. He was surprised when Eddie actually took hold of his hand, keeping hold of it as he sat down on the edge of the mattress.

“You’re not a mistake,” Eddie said firmly, giving Buck’s hand a squeeze for emphasis. “Look at me.”

Buck sighed as he met Eddie’s gaze, a small flurry of hope warming him up from the inside out.

“You’re my best friend. I trust you implicitly. I think I might have been in love with you for longer than even I realise. Probably since day one. The only person in the world more important to me than you is Christopher, and he’s never gonna have competition for top spot.”

Eddie grinned and Buck ducked his head with a small laugh, chest threatening to explode. “You’re in love with me?”

Eddie laughed. “How could I not be?”

Buck wanted to say he loved Eddie too, he wanted to give him the kind of declaration he deserved in return, but all he could manage was to swoop in for a clumsy kiss, gripping Eddie’s face in his hands, throat too tight for words.

Eddie kissed him back in earnest, even though Buck could still feel the smile on his face, the laughter threatening to bubble up into their kiss.

“So come back to bed?” Eddie asked once they’d broken apart for air, tilting his head, expression soft again.

Buck nodded, biting his bottom lip as he shifted across the bed to get back under the covers.

Eddie wrapped himself around Buck, pulling him flush against his chest as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I let you think you meant any less to me than you do,” Eddie whispered, lips brushing his ear.

Buck shook his head, twisting to face him. He reached up to cup Eddie’s cheek, letting his fingers ghost across the stubbly skin. “It’s not your fault I’m an idiot.”

Eddie laughed, turning his face to press a kiss to Buck’s palm. “I still should have been more clear.”

“Would have saved me a lot of mental turmoil,” Buck agreed with a teasing smile before pressing his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, breathing him in.

For a while they just stayed there wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the feeling of knowing they were wanted by the other, but eventually Buck remembered Christopher, and his heart sank again as he pulled back again, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“What?” Eddie asked sleepily, a lazy smile still ghosting his lips.

“What...what about Christopher?” Buck asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable, like he was preparing for rejection again.

“What about Christopher?”

“He...I mean, isn’t he gonna wonder why I’m here?”

Eddie scoffed, rolling onto his back. “You’re always here. He won’t even question it.”

“And what if he does?”

“He won’t. He’s just gonna be happy to see you.”

“But if he does?”

“Then I’ll say you stayed the night,” Eddie said with an exasperated sigh. “Stop overthinking this. It would be different if you were someone new but Chris already loves you. I trust you with him. Us dating doesn’t change any of that. You’re practically a parent to him anyway.”

“Dating?” Buck asked shyly, worry easing away.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes, dating, Buck. Y’know, the way two adults who like each other do.”

“I’ve been downgraded to ‘like’?”

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Eddie groaned, but he curled back in towards Buck again anyway, eyes drifting shut as he did.

Buck forced himself not to continue the conversation, and instead allowed himself to relax into Eddie’s hold, content with the knowledge that this meant as much to Eddie as it did to him, possibly even more.

---

Buck woke to the smell of bacon and something sweeter, something he hoped was pancakes. He was smiling before he was even fully awake as he heard Christopher chattering animatedly and Eddie shushing him. For a moment, he just lay there, half asleep and enjoying the lingering warmth that Eddie seemed to have left behind, but slowly that contentment was replaced by worry as he thought about Christopher and what Eddie might have told him.

For a while he let anxiety keep him in bed, unable to move as he anticipated the awkwardness of what lay ahead, but eventually, he dragged himself out from under the covers and towards his clothes, telling himself it would be fine over and over like a mantra until he almost believed it.

He paused in the hall, listening to Eddie’s laughter and ignoring the way it made his stomach swoop before pushing forward, usual smile in place.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Eddie teased as he flipped a pancake.

“Morning,” Buck replied with a sheepish smile, running his hand through his sleep-messed hair, suddenly wishing he’d made an effort to appear presentable.

“Buck!” Christopher called out from his position on the counter beside Eddie, holding his arms out in anticipation of a hug.

“Morning, buddy,” Buck said with a grin, sweeping Chris up into his arms.

“Pancakes and bacon?” Eddie asked, throwing a knowing smile in their direction.

“Please,” Buck said quietly, nodding his head in acknowledgment. Eddie had been right and he had been an idiot, as usual.

He’d been so worried and, as Eddie had tried to tell him, it had been for nothing. Breakfast with Eddie and Christopher after spending the night in Eddie’s bed felt like the most natural thing in the world.

And maybe it was.

#911 #buddie #911 fanfiction #911 fox #911 on fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #buddie fanfiction #my writing #fanfiction #prompts

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tr4shmouth-tozi3r · 5 years

Text

‘What are you, jealous?” - richie tozier x reader

requested: yes & I love this one as well, jealous Richie is just so hot😍 I also appreciate that u trusted me to do this justice with such a vague request, I hope you enjoy this because I definitely enjoyed writing it:)

summary: Richie loved you and sometimes he loved you a little too much. So much that he would let his imagination get the best of him and then he’d find himself feeling a little jealous. You didn’t mind it all the time, though; jealous Richie was hot.

you guys are like 17 here.

pairing: richie tozier x reader

warnings: swearing, angst, lil bit of smut;)

“H-H-Here, luh-let m-m-me help yuh-y-you.” Bill grabbed some of the books you were struggling to keep hold of in your arms. Your backpack was practically falling off of your shoulder. You sighed in relief and smiled at your friend.

“Thanks, Bill.” You handed some of your school books to him and all of a sudden you heard your boyfriend’s voice ring out in the cold fall air.

“Hey, babe!” His face was flustered and his jaw was clenched slightly. He looked worked up.

“Hey, Rich!” You smiled widely at him and let him envelope you in tight hug, before your face fell, “What’s up, you look upset?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” He mumbled as he tore your books out of Bill’s hands, “I got it, bud.” He flashed a sarcastic smile in Bill’s direction and you mentally laughed at how silly your boyfriend was being. Bill shook his head in amusement and said his goodbyes to you both before running off toward the front doors.

“What was tha-” Before you could finish your sentence his lips were pressing so hard against yours you thought they were going to bruise.

“Nothing..” He whispered, out of breath, as he pulled away from you. You blinked fast, trying to regain your composure and steady your breathing.

“Well, shit.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and blushed at your boyfriend who was smirking down at you.

This was not the last time today that Richie would find himself fuming with jealousy over you and Bill.

You had lunch period with Bill, Eddie, and Bev and Richie would try his hardest to sneak out of class sometimes and come visit you, which you thought was absolutely adorable.

Bill was telling a story about something funny Richie had pulled on Eddie a few summers back before you met them and you couldn’t help but laugh so hard you almost spit your milk out everywhere. You clutched Bill’s arm as the fits of giggles took over you.

“I remember that!” Bev cackled loudly and clutched her stomach, “Holy shit, I’m gonna cry, that’s hilarious! I totally forgot that happened!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sooo funny guys.” Eddie rolled his eyes so hard you were surprised they didn’t fall right out of their sockets.

“What’s so funny?” You practically felt Richie’s eyes burning holes through your hand that was clutching Bill’s arm. You let go and squeezed your eyes shut before sighing as the rest of the table quieted down. You already knew he was in a jealous mood ever since this morning and that arm grab totally wasn’t helping your case.

“Bill had to go and bring up that time a few years back at the town parade when you made a fool out of me in front of everyone and had me dressed up like an idiot in the parade, which by the way, we weren’t even supposed to be in...” He grumbled.

“Wow, I even forgot about that.” Richie laughed, but it was a forced laugh. You had to admit, your boyfriend was totally overdramatic, but sometimes you couldn’t help but notice how hot he was when he was jealous.

“It wuh-was a p-pi-pi-pivotal moment i-i-in our fuh-f-friend g-gr-group, I h-h-had to r-r-reflect on i-it.” Bill spoke in amusement and Richie snorted at him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Richie was definitely not amused. He squished his way between you and Bill and the awkward silence that fell over the five of you was not something you could ignore.

Oh boy...

You and Richie were walking to the quarry so you could hangout for a bit after school. He knew how much you hated going right home. Your parents had been fighting quite often lately and it was beginning to stress you out a lot more than usual. You were almost certain there was a divorce in the near future and the thought of your parents splitting up devastated you.

“G-G-Guys!” You both twirled around to see Bill biking his way over to you. You didn’t need to look at Richie to know his jaw was clenching like it always did whenever he was worked up, “Y-Y-You fuh-f-forgot y-y-your h-hi-history buh-b-b-book at l-lunch, y/n.” Bill was out of breath from riding his bike so fast to catch up with the two of you and you smiled warmly at him as you grabbed the textbook from his hand.

“Thanks, Bill.”

“Yeah, thanks Bill.” Richie’s voice came out in a high-pitched whine and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I do not sound like that.”

“Uhhh…” Bill slowly turned around as the two of you began to bicker and he rode off before he could get anymore involved in the mess.

“Yeah, well that’s what you sound like whenever Bill’s around.” He was being so genuine that you stepped back away from him for a moment.

“What are you, jealous?” He stayed quiet and didn’t answer for a moment, “You’re actually serious right now?”

He shuffled his feet and looked down before sighing angrily, “Yeah, you know, he does things that I’m supposed to do for you. He carries your stuff, he makes you laugh to the point you’re literally holding onto him. He holds your things that you forget at lunch, all day long and then chases you down after school to give them to you. That's... that's boyfriend stuff. Stuff that I should be doing and it drives me absolutely crazy when it’s not me, but it’s him instead and you just don’t even realize how much it bothers me. For fuck sake, you might as well date Bill!” He threw his hands up in the air, emphasizing his words and you felt like he might have had a point. Bill was harmless, though. He would never do anything to hurt you and Richie’s relationship. Atleast, not on purpose. Richie really could let his imagination get the best of him sometimes.

“Rich-”

“No, I already know what you’re going to say and fuck, I know, I know. It still drives me crazy,” He stepped closer to you, grabbing your hips and digging his fingernails into them, “But I hate feeling like someone else has you the way I have you, because you’re mine and no one else’s and I’ll be damned if I let someone else do the things I should be doing for you.” He leaned into you, breathing against your lips. You could tell he was super worked up because his heart was practically beating out of his chest and against you and his face was flushed and... and he was turned on?

You clenched your legs together and inhaled a shaky breath, trying to register exactly how this got so hot so fast, “Rich, babe, are you turned on?” You let a small smile tug at your lips and you watched as he licked his lips.

“I mean, all this built up frustration had to come out somehow and I guess it chose to come out sexually. Why,” He let his breath mingle with yours, “Does that bother you?” He whispered and he reached up letting his hand cup your face and his thumb ran over your cheek softly as you shut your eyes and hummed sweetly.

“No, not at all.” You yelped suddenly, feeling his cold fingers slide up and under the skirt you had put on this morning, deciding you might as well wear it one last time before it got super cold. You were definitely thankful you had chosen to wear it.

“R-Richie.. we’re at the quarry, this is totally not the place.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun,” He mumbled into your skin as he planted hot wet kisses along your neck, “And no one else ever comes here, especially in this weather. It’s just me and you.” You swallowed suddenly, your throat becoming dry from the way your breathing had picked up.

“Okay fine, I don't even care. You’re driving me nuts.” He smirked at the way you grinded your hips up, trying desperately to create some sort of friction and he leaned away, snaking his hand passed the band of your panties.

You moaned as his fingers ran along your folds, “You’re so wet, babe.” He cooed.

“What can I say, jealous Richie turns me on a lot more than I would have thought. I should make you jealous more often, huh?” You purred against his lips and he plunged a finger inside of you.

“Don’t make me mad.” His voice was low and his eyes were dilated and god, he was sexy.

“If you don’t want me to make you mad or jealous, then stopping being so sexy when you’re either of those things.” You bit your lip and let a soft moan escape your throat as he added another finger, sliding them into you further this time.

“Well, if it’s going to end like this I might have to be okay with that, huh?” He whispered before pulling his fingers out of you and reaching down to undo his pants.

“Yes, yes, yes.”

So, this was short and I could have totally done better, but I’m trying to work on the requests as fast as possible. I’m sorry if the anon that requested this was not pleased with it, but I think it could have been a lot worse. Looool.

The rest of the requests will be up within the next few hours, bare with me here:’)

#jealous richie #this is actually hot af #richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #richie #finn #finn wolfhard #it imagines #personal requests #request #it fanfic #hope u enjoyed #this sorta sucked #totally hate myself #I tried

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cocastyle · 5 years

Text

Change - Ch. 1 | E L E V E N

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 7,900

A/N - long chapter because I just couldn’t find a good spot to break this into two parts! there is one more chapter until the first half of this series is complete :(( but then we will be moving onto It Chapter Two and I have so many great ideas for that half and the future of the Losers Club and Y/N Uris! please continue to leave any feedback because I love knowing what people think and hearing what I could do to improve or what people enjoy the most of!

if you would like to be added to the tag list for this series let me know!

C H A N G E

Change Series Masterlist

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E L E V E N - Only the Beginning

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It was like Y/N couldn't breath as pure panic creeped up on her, the realization that her cousin was missing squeezing her lungs so tight that it physically hurt. Y/N didn't even give time for the others to respond to her question and had turned before beginning to move through the tunnel as fast as she could, her panicked voice yelling out, "Stanley! Stanley!"

She didn't even see the others' faces, but she knew they had to be just as worried as she was just from the sound of them scrambling through the tunnel after her and worriedly crying out, "Stanley! Stan!"

Y/N eventually stumbled upon a clearing and would've gone tumbling into the water of the new tunnel if it wasn't for Eddie, who had caught up to her, grabbing onto her arm to keep her from pitching forward. The girl sent a thankful look in Eddie's direction before carefully getting out and helping Eddie out as well, the Losers following after.

"Oh, shit. Grey water," Eddie muttered in disgust while Y/N shined the flashlight around them, trying to find any sign of her cousin and his whereabouts. "Stan?"

"Stanley!" Y/N called out, but there was still no response and all the girl could think about was how her cousin and best friend was lost within the tunnels that held a killer clown.

Her breathing was starting to become more rapid and she struggled to swallow due to her closing throat. But just when she was on the verge of tears, a presence was suddenly by her side and someone was grabbing onto her hand, instantly pulling the girl out of her state.

Y/N's eyes flickered to her side, her tears shining in the glow of the flashlights. Bill's heart broke at the sight and it felt as if she was silently asking him what they were supposed to do. Bill squeezed her hand gently before whispering, "We'll find him. I promise."

Y/N was hesitant as she stared at the boy before finally giving in with a small nod. Bill looked back to make sure everyone was out of the tunnel before looking down the new tunnel they were in. "Come on," he said before he began to run forward, dragging Y/N along at his side as he did.

"Stanley!" Y/N yelled as the group ran through the corridor, their flashlights shining everywhere around them as they desperately tried to find the curly haired boy.

But then she heard it—a noise that had the girl stopping dead in her tracks as her blood ran cold.

Stan's screams.

"Stanley?" Y/N choked out in pure horror before releasing Bill's hand and taking off down the tunnel in the direction of the screams.

The others blinked out of their surprise and shock as soon as the girl began to move and that was when they all began to take action. "Stan!" they cried out before running after the girl.

It didn't take long for them to come upon a door, Stan's screams coming from the other side. "Stanley!" Y/N yelled as she desperately tried to get the door open.

Bill was by her side in an instant and tried pulling on the door as well as he yelled, "We're coming, man!"

"We're coming! Don't worry," Eddie called out as he too began pulling on the door, Mike, Ben and Richie joining as well.

It took all of their strength, but the group was able to forcefully push the door open before entering the room where Stan had ended up. How he had ended up in there when they could barley get the door open themselves was beyond them, but they didn't bother thinking too much of it for they were too focused on Stan.

"Stan?" Bill questioned as they ran inside only to find that the curly haired boy was no where in sight. However, Y/N could see the small light coming from the other side of the room and quickly ran over to find her cousin's flashlight on the ground.

"Stanley?" Y/N called out as she flashed the light around the room before stopping on a view that had her screaming in horror, her eyes filling with tears as she struggled to pull herself together.

The others were by her side in a flash and they all let out gasps of horror at the sight of some lady that looked like she was from straight out of their worst nightmares trying to eat Stan's face.

Rows of teeth were latched onto the boy's whole face and Y/N barely had time to register that her cousin was still moving before she screamed again, her scream mixing with the sob that racked her body as she angrily threw the flashlight at the creature.

"Get the fuck away from him!" Y/N screamed so loud that it would've hurt all of their ears if they weren't too horrified by what was happening in front of them.

The flashlight bounced off of the lady's face and it froze before looking up at the group. Her mouth was still latched onto Stan's face and Y/N felt her blood run cold at the white eyes staring back at her. She instantly got a flashback of her uncle's office, remembering the painting that had given her the creeps the first time she saw it and the look of pure horror on Stan's face as he pushed her out of the room as quick as he could.

This was the painting lady Stan had been talking about. This was his fear.

And by the looks of it, it was now going to be Y/N's as well.

"What the fuck is that thing? Oh, shit!" Richie cried out as the lady released Stan who let out a gasp for air as blood trickled down his face. The creature let out what sounded like a hiss as it slowly backed away from the boy and up a set of stairs. She disappeared around a corner, but what came back around was definitely not the painting lady. It was the clown and the sight of It was enough to make Y/N jump back in fear as she huddled closer to Ben and Richie who were the closest to her at the moment.

It started at them for a moment, a small smile on its face as blood trickled down its chin before the clown disappeared around the corner and didn't return.

Y/N instantly snapped out of her fright as soon as the clown was gone and turned her eyes onto her cousin who was gasping on the floor with huge bite marks in a circle around his face, blood dripping from each mark.

"Stanley!" Y/N sobbed out in relief as she made a move to run towards her cousin. She was on her feet by him within seconds, but as soon as her hands had come in contact with his arm, the curly haired boy had shot up with an ear-piercing scream and he desperately backed away from her and the others who were running over as well.

"No! No! No!" Stan cried out in pure panic as he tried to get away from her, tears streaming down his face as he looked at his friends and cousin with wide eyes.

"Stanley, it's okay," Y/N tried to tell him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to grab onto her cousin to give him comfort, but he only shoved her away and continued to scoot back.

"You left me!" Stan yelled with his eyes not leaving his cousin's face, sobbing as he did. "You took me into Neibolt! You're not my friends! You made me go into Neibolt!"

Stan was full on sobbing by now, but he had no strength left in him to pull away from the group. Y/N managed to grab ahold of his shoulder and she let out a heartbroken sob as she pulled the boy into her for a fierce hug, her arms wrapping around him as she held onto him as tight as she could. She wanted him to feel safe and secure. She wanted him to know she was here.

"You promised you wouldn't let anything happen to me!" Stan cried with a hint of betrayal in his shaky voice. "You promised!"

Y/N let out another sob at that and just gripped onto her cousin tighter, not ever wanting to let him go. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she cried, holding onto her cousin as he broke down in her arms.

"Stanley, I'm sorry," Eddie tried to say as he put a hand on his friend's shoulder, the others all crowding around him as well.

"You made me go into Neibolt! This is your fault," Stan told them and Y/N swore those words would forever be ingrained in her mind. She promised Stan she would keep him safe and look what had happened.

This was her fault.

The whole group was tearing up by now and Y/N didn't move as she continued to hug her cousin, holding onto him like she was afraid she would never get to again. It took a minute but eventually Stan calmed down and gripped onto him with just as much force, his yelling turning into nothing more than quiet cries.

Eddie didn't even hesitate to join the hug, his arms wrapping around both Stan and Y/N as he rested his head in between theirs. To their surprise, Richie was next and he held onto them tightly before Ben and Mike quickly joined in.

"We would never let anything happen to you," Richie spoke up, his voice shaky as he held onto his curly haired best friend. He didn't even care about how he was showing his true emotions at the moment, for the love he had for his friend—all of them—was beyond compare and he could stop being an asshole for just a second in order to let his friend know how much he was loved. "We're here for you. You know we wouldn't do that to you. Come on, Stan the Man."

Stan relaxed at that and since his arms were still wrapped around his cousin, he tightened his grip on Y/N before whispering, "I'm sorry for yelling."

"Don't apologize," Y/N whispered as she leaned into the boy. "I'm sorry this happened. It's all my fault. I promised I would keep you safe and I. . .it's all my fault."

The group began to pull away at that and Stan looked to his cousin in surprise, not realizing how hurtful his words had been until just then. A look of guilt flashed across his bloody face and he whispered, "Y/N-"

However, he didn't get a chance to say anything else because Eddie's voice was suddenly crying out in confusion, "Bill?"

Y/N froze at that and was quick to turn her head. Her eyes widened once she realized that Bill was gone and so was Mike's gun. It didn't take a genius to realize what he was doing and she suddenly felt the same panic that had coursed through her body when Stan went missing taking over her again.

"Bill!" Y/N yelled as the group all scrambled to their feet. Everyone began to yell for the boy as they hurried down the tunnel, but it seemed like the faster they ran the further the boy got.

Before the group knew it, there was no sign of Bill and all they were able to do was just continue down the tunnel. They had slowed down by now, all of them knowing that they weren't going to be able to find Bill no matter how fast they ran.

Y/N was shaking in fear as her and Stan gripped onto each other's hands for dear life. Neither wanted to be separated again for the rest of the journey down here, so holding onto each other and standing by the other's side was the only source of comfort they had walking through the sewer with their friends by their side.

Y/N had never been afraid of something more than she was now. With everything that It had done to them—all the torture, the splitting the group up, attacking Stan, stealing Beverly, and now hurting Bill so much emotionally that he felt like he had to kill him—how could she not be afraid?

She was thirteen for goodness sake. Barely a teenager and she had to go through all of this? She knew being a teenager was hard, but no one had told her she would have to fight a demon clown that turned into their worst nightmares.

"Bill!" Stan called out, snapping the girl out of her thoughts. She swallowed thickly and gripped onto her cousin's hand more as they walked. Her nerves were going haywire and she felt that if she tried to speak she would puke, so she left it up to the others to yell for Bill's name while she shined her flashlight around the tunnel.

The splashing of water caught the girl's attention and she quickly moved her flashlight so that it shined down on Eddie who had fallen into the water.

"Come on. Get out of there, dude. That's grey water," Richie tried to say in a teasing manner, although they could all sense the small worry in his voice for not only Bill but for Eddie as well.

"Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my god. Where's my fucking flashlight?!" Eddie questioned as he tried to move through the water to find the object. However, before he could, something in the water flipped over to reveal that it was a mutilated head and the group all let out a scream.

It was then that they realized all of the objects in the water were mutilated heads and Y/N was quick to reach out and pull Eddie out of the water as they all screamed. Eddie scrambled to his feet and leaned into Y/N's touch as she kept her hands steady on his non broken arm. The boy shuddered and didn't move until Y/N had linked her arm with his, running a hand comfortingly you and down his arm until his breathing had returned to normal and a look of pure disgust had taken over his features.

The absence of Y/N's hand was enough to make Stan move closer to his cousin, but he didn't mind because he knew that Eddie needed the girl right now almost as much as he did.

"Come on, let's get the fuck out of here! Come on!" Richie yelled as he quickly grabbed onto Y/N and Eddie before shoving them through the water and away from the mutilated heads as quick as possible, making sure to keep them in front of him so that he could put distance between them and the grey water.

Stan was by Y/N's side in a second and the two cousins were content with just walking near each other while Eddie continued to lean on to Y/N for support as the group quickly moved through the tunnels.

Ben had taken a place at the front of the group and guided them through the tunnels while Richie and Mike stayed in the back to make sure nothing attacked the group from behind. With her friends surrounding her, Y/N felt an odd sense of safety and comfort wash over her and that was enough to give her the ounce of courage she needed to step into what had to be It's lair.

"Shit," Y/N whispered out in a shaky voice as she took in the lair in front of her. She could see a mountain of what seemed to be garbage with kids' toys and above that were hundreds of floating objects that made the girl shudder before looking way. She didn't even want to think about what they were.

But then her eyes had latched onto a familiar red head floating limply only a little ways in the air and her eyes widened as she whispered out, "Bev."

That seemed to catch the others' attention and the group was quick to run over to their friend before looking up at her as Beverly floated above them.

"Shit. How-how is she in the air?" Richie questioned as he came to a stop beside Y/N. The two glanced at each other and shared a look of equal disgust and horror before looking back up at their friend.

"Guys. . .are those. . .?" Eddie asked and Y/N quickly followed his gaze to the floating objects she had glanced at momentarily only a few seconds before. She grimaced as she finally got a good look at them and she felt as if she were about to be sick once she realized what they were.

"The missing kids. . .floating," Stan muttered from beside his cousin, his voice shaky.

"Just help me grab her," Ben said, instantly pulling the others' attention away from the floating kids and back to their floating friend. Mike and Richie were quick to step forward and helped lift Ben up so that he could grab onto Beverly's feet and begin to pull her down.

"I'm slipping," Ben began to say, but Richie and Mike quickly steadied him before they brought Beverly down low enough that Mike and Richie could grab ahold of her as well. Once they had Beverly on her feet, everyone quickly crowded around, their eyes flickering over the girl's blank face and glossy eyes.

"Beverly?" Y/N questioned softly as her and the others watched their friend in concern. The red head didn't respond and Ben swallowed thickly before shaking the girl in an attempt to wake her up. However, her head merely titled downwards.

"Beverly. Why isn't she waking up?! What is wrong with her?! Beverly, please! Come on!" Ben cried out before he pushed her head upright and gave the girl a hug. They knew he was hoping she would hug back, but the red head still did not move.

Y/N shook her head and threw a hand over her mouth as she leaned into Stan, tears filling her eyes as she willed Beverly to wake up. Eddie hugged the girl from the side and rested his head on her shoulder as both he and Stan comforted Y/N while Ben continued to hug Beverly.

The group watched as Ben pulled away from the hug to look at Beverly and before any of them could even blink, Ben had suddenly grabbed onto the sides of Beverly's face and was kissing her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" everyone muttered in complete surprise, their eyes wide. However, no one made a move to stop the boy mostly out of just shock.

"Wow," Richie finally said in disbelief as Ben finally pulled away from Beverly, his eyes staring into the girl's glossy ones desperately.

But then something incredible happened and Y/N's mouth fell open in shock as Beverly suddenly let out a gasp of air as she regained consciousness, her eyes returning to normal as she looked between her friends before stopping on Ben.

"Bev?" Ben whispered and the red head blinked in response.

"January embers," she finally said and the Losers all watched confused as Ben gave the red head one of the brightest smiles they had ever seen dawn his face.

"My heart burns there too," Ben whispered while the others all blinked in confusion.

Richie shook his head, not wanting to ask, and let out a laugh before embracing Ben and Beverly as he muttered, "Jesus, fuck."

The others all let out small laughs of relief as well and were quick to go embrace the three, all of them feeling a sense of relief wash over them now that Beverly was safe.

It took the group a moment to pull away, but when they did, the relief of the moment vanished and Beverly looked around confused before asking, "Where's Bill?"

Y/N tensed at that and was instantly on high alert once again as the others all went wide eyed. "Fuck," Y/N muttered before turning and looking around until she caught sight of the only pathway Bill could've gone down.

She didn't even think twice before running off and she momentarily heard Richie mutter "Shit," before the sound of footsteps were not too far behind her.

Y/N was practically sprinting around the corner with hopes that she would reach Bill in time. She couldn't lose him. She just couldn't.

Then there he was standing just around the corner frozen in place. Y/N let out a small sigh of relief and instantly slowed down, but froze once she saw that Bill was not alone. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of a little boy with only one arm standing in front of Bill with a paper boat in his hands.

"Take me home, Billy," the boy pleaded and that was all Y/N needed to hear to realize who this was or who this was supposed to be.

Georgie Denbrough—Bill's missing brother.

She hadn't seen Georgie for forever now. The last time she had seen him was when he had been only a toddler, so she had almost not even recognized him. But she knew better than to believe what was in front of her. That wasn't the Georgie she remembered even if it had been years since she last saw him. This was It and Bill was on the verge of falling for the trap.

The sound of footsteps approached from behind her and in a matter of seconds the other Losers were stopping behind her, their breaths catching in their throats at the sight of the youngest Denbrough.

"I wanna go home," Georgie told the boy in a shaky voice as he was on the verge of tears. Bill began to shake and Y/N could hear the sharp intake of his breathing as the boy tried to stop himself from letting out a heartbroken sob. "I miss you. I wanna be with Mom and Dad."

"I want more than anything for you to be home," Bill whispered, his voice cracking as a few tears rolled down his face. "With Mom and Dad. I miss you so much."

He began to take a few steps towards the little boy and Y/N wanted to reach out and pull Bill back, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was wrong. Maybe this was Georgie Denbrough. And if she was the one to pull Bill away and ultimately get his brother killed. . .she couldn't do that to Bill. It would break his heart.

"I love you, Billy," Georgie whimpered, his words even tugging at Richie's heartstrings as they all watched the interaction.

"I love you too," Bill whispered and Y/N watched with wide eyes as Bill held Mike's gun up to the little boy's head. So she was right about one thing. It wasn't Georgie. But Bill? He definitely wasn't falling for the trap.

Georgie began to cry out of fear and Bill took in a deep breath before saying confidently, "But you're not Georgie."

A loud clang went through the air as Bill shot the little boy and everyone let out a gasp of horror for even seeing a fake little boy fall to the ground was like watching the real thing. Y/N even felt sick for a moment and it was like she was rooted in place as she looked to Bill who was staring down at Georgie with an unreadable expression.

"Bill," Y/N whispered and the boy tensed before glancing back at her, his eyes filled with tears as he looked to Y/N for confirmation that wasn't his brother. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that had actually been Georgie.

As if hearing his concerns, the Georgie on the ground suddenly began to convulse, morphed yells escaping his mouth as his body shook violently. Y/N blinked and stepped back slightly in shock as she watched the boy's legs suddenly grow longer and morph into those of a clown.

Georgie's arm began to grow back and flopped around in the air like a worm as a monster like groan filled the air. Y/N was horrified and her eyes flickered over to Bill who she realized was still standing dangerously close to the creature on the ground.

She went to step towards Bill, but just when she was about to the body went still and that alone was enough to make Y/N freeze as well, a sickening feeling washing over her without warning. One by one, each of the limbs suddenly grew longer and to the true proportion of It before the clown suddenly sat up, its head hanging low while the kids all watched with wide eyes.

"Shit," Bill whispered as the clown suddenly shot up onto its feet in an inhuman like way.

"Kill it now! Kill It!" Eddie screamed snapping everyone out of their shock and making the realize what was happening. "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"

Everyone began to yell in a frenzy for they were too far away to do anything and only Bill was close enough to kill the creature. "Shoot it, Bill!" Y/N cried out before realization struck her.

There was only one bullet and Bill had used it on Georgie.

"Bill!" Y/N yelled, but it was like the boy was frozen in place, his eyes focusing on the clown that was now looking right at him.

"Kill it!" the kids cried while Mike and Y/N made eye contact as they both remembered the sight of the bullets falling down the well.

"It's not loaded," Mike muttered and Y/N felt herself grow pale as she quickly looked back towards Bill who was holding the gun up at the clown.

"Hey, it's not loaded!" Mike tried to tell him, but Bill didn't hear and just pulled the trigger. Even though nothing came out, It shot back as if it were starting to convulse, its face beginning to turn to dust as its body shot back at a weird angle.

It began to scream and shake and everyone let out screams of horror as the clown suddenly shot back up and began running at the group. Someone grabbed onto the girl's arm and pulled her away before she could grab Bill and she barely had time to register what was going on before Richie shoved the girl behind him and begin backing up.

Y/N gripped onto the boy's arm tightly and all of the kids continued to scream as It suddenly jumped on top of Bill. "Bill!" Y/N yelled as the clown went to bite at him, but Bill was quick and put the gun up fast enough that it held the clown back by the jaw.

Y/N had to shove Richie away from her in order to get away and the boy went to grab at her but it was too late. The girl didn't even think twice before picking up the spear that Bill had made that had been tossed to the ground. She ran at the clown right when It tore the gun away from Bill and was just about to stab him when the clown turned and grabbed the spear with his hand. He instantly tore it from her grip and Eddie cried out, "Y/N, no!"

Y/N didn't have time to register what was happening before the clown lashed his arm at her, It's claws digging into her skin and drawing blood as it grabbed her and tossed her aside like a rag doll. The girl hit the wall with a sickening crunch and Y/N let out a scream of pain while Mike in a blaze of fury ran at the clown.

"Y/N!" a voice yelled, but the girl couldn't process who it was. The whole world was spinning and it was like her body was on fire. She was trying so hard not to cry from the pain, but she couldn't stop one tear from rolling down her face as she slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position.

Everything was blurry, but she was able to make out the figures of her friends jumping on the clown and yelling out words that were muffled from the ringing in her ears. Y/N shakily pressed a hand to her chest and neck and winced before pulling her hand away to see that it was covered in blood. The girl gulped and instantly regretted it once feeling the pain that jolted her body, but she knew she couldn't just sit there.

Y/N began to pull herself up onto her knees and just when she was about to stand up, she got knocked down again as Stan was thrown into her. The two cousins fell to the ground hard and Y/N let out another cry of pain while Stan groaned from beside her.

Y/N blinked a few times to try and regain her vision and just when she did, Stan appeared above her, his eyes wide with worry and fear as he eyed the girl. "Y/N?" Stan whimpered out, afraid to ask if she was okay.

"It looks worse than it is," the girl managed to whisper out although that probably wasn't entirely true. That was enough for Stan and the curly haired boy let out a shaky breath as he hurried to help his cousin up. However, it was when the two were both on their feet and turning to look at what was going on that they caught sight of It tossing the other Losers aside before grabbing Bill and holding him against his body with one of his clawed hand wrapped around the boy's throat.

"No!" Y/N yelled as she stumbled away from Stan and went to run at the clown, but It was quick to show the girl it's row of teeth and hold it near Bill, a sign for her to back off or he would kill Bill without hesitation.

"No, don't!" the Losers yelled. "Y/N, stop moving!"

Y/N instantly stopped and her wide eyes flickered between It and Bill before her face hardened and she glared at the clown. "Let him go," she demanded, her voice so deadly that it made the Losers all blink in surprise.

She was bleeding from the top of her neck down to her chest, her blue dress stained with blood that was only growing by the second. Blood was dripping from the hand she had touched her chest with, but the girl did not waiver and she did not back down.

She was not about to let It take Bill away from her. Not now. Not ever.

"I said," Y/N began with narrowed eyes, her hands balling into fists, "let him go."

"No," It said with a shake of his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips that made Y/N clench her fists in anger. She wasn't afraid anymore, she was pissed. "I'll take him. I'll take all of you and I'll feast on your flesh as I feed on your fear."

Y/N gulped at that, a small bit of fear coming back at just the mere thought of them all dying. It held up a shaky hand and grinned, "Or you just leave us be and I will take him. . .only him and then I will have my long rest. And you will all live to grow and thrive and lead happy lives until old age takes you back to the weeds."

Y/N shook her head, her jaw clenching as she looked at the clown in disbelief. Was It being serious right now? There was no way in hell she was about to leave Bill. No way.

"Leave," Bill croaked and that was enough to have the girl snap her gaze down to the boy in surprise, her eyes locking with his as he struggled in the clown's grasp.

"I won't," she insisted, tears filling her eyes as she looked at the boy in disbelief. "I'm not leaving you behind. There is no fucking way, Bill."

"Y/N, please. Save yourself. Get the others out of here," Bill pleaded, his voice cracking as It stroked his face with it's claws.

"I won't," she said, her lips trembling as she looked at the boy. It felt as if her heart broke at the sight of his defeated face and he just gave her a small sad smile as he whispered, "You will."

He tried to give her a reassuring look before he looked between her and the rest of his friends as he whispered, "I'm the one that dragged you all into this."

The boy looked at each of his friends with tears in his eyes as he gave them a sad smile. "I'm s-s-sorry," Bill told them.

"S-S-Sorry," It mocked with a laugh making Y/N harden as she glared at the clown.

"No, I'm sorry, Bill," Y/N said causing the boy to look at her and see her deadly expression as she bent down and picked up the fallen spear. "Cause there is no way I'm leaving you behind. And there is absolutely no fucking way I'm going to be able to live a happy life without you in it."

Bill's breath caught in his throat at that, his eyes trying to search Y/N's face for any sign of hesitation but there was none. The girl looked back at her friends and they all were staring at her with wide eyes, everyone except for Richie who was still watching It and Bill.

Y/N gripped onto the spear and whispered, "Richie?"

Richie was silent for a moment before pulling himself up onto his feet. "I told you, Bill. I fucking told you. I don't want to die. It's your fault," Richie said, his eyes flickering over his friend's face. Y/N felt her stomach start to drop, but Richie continued. "You punched me in the face. You made me walk through shitty water. You brought me to a fucking crackhead house. And now-"

Y/N watched as Richie reached over in the pile of toys and trash before pulling out a bat. Realization dawned on her and she couldn't help but break into a grin as the boy gripped the bat hard and came to stand by Y/N's side.

"I'm gonna have to kill this fucking clown."

It narrowed it's eyes and quickly tossed Bill down to the ground before getting up. With a yell, It began to move towards the two but the friends only smirked and tightened their hold on their weapons.

"Welcome to the Losers' Club, asshole!" Y/N and Richie cried in unison before they both took their weapon of choice and whacked the clown as hard as they could.

It stumbled back and as it came to look back at them, the other Losers joined in. Mike instantly went to hit the clown and the kids all grimaced as burning hands shot out of the clown's mouth and grabbed onto the steel pipe Mike was using.

"Mike!" a woman screamed and Y/N instantly realized this had to do with Mike's fear and the burning of his house when he was younger.

Everyone was screaming and Stan quickly rushed forward and sliced at the hands making It look to the boy. It morphed into the lady from the paintings and went to run at him, but Stan didn't even flinch as he swung at the clown.

Mike went to help, but It knocked the boy down as it's arms suddenly turned into what almost resembled king crab legs. It began trying to stomp on the boy, but Mike rolled out of the way until Ben was able to stab at the clown from behind.

It began to convulse and Y/N gagged at the sight of it's blood floating up into the air. "Kill it!" Eddie exclaimed and Ben tried, but the clown had turned into some disgusting mummy that made it hard for Ben to get too close.

Wrappings latched around Ben's head and the boy let out a scream, but Bill was now back up on his feet and had grabbed some chains which he quickly used to whack the clown with. It let go of Ben and stumbled back giving Richie and Y/N enough time to hit the clown again who went falling to the ground.

Each of the kids began hitting the clown to the point where It began coughing. It turned to face Eddie and the boy shook his head in disgust before It's face morphed into what had to be the leper Eddie was always talking about. The leper proceeded to throw up disgusting junk onto Eddie's face and the boy sat there in pure horror before opening his eyes and spitting out the throw up that had gotten in his mouth.

Eddie glanced down at the goo all over him and a blazing fire seemed to burn in his eyes as he looked to It and screeched, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Eddie launched himself at the clown and It was able to knock him away but not before Y/N had caught up to the clown and went to stab It. It was ready for her and quickly grabbed the spear before tossing it aside, the weapon falling at Beverly's feet.

It's claws went for Y/N and It grabbed her by the throat before pining her to the ground, a scream escaping her lips at the burning pain coming from her chest. It stared at her and Y/N barely had time to blink before she was suddenly looking into the face of her mother.

"You broke up our family. You broke up your friend group. Is there anything you don't break?" her mother's voice taunted her. "You're a disgrace. No one will ever love you. All you do is break everything you touch."

Y/N let out a scream of anger despite the sinking feeling she got from those words and she desperately reached across the ground for the fallen chains Bill had dropped and grabbed them before wrapping it around the clown's throat. Her mother instantly disappeared and It came back as the clown let go of Y/N in order to grab for the chains.

Y/N took this to her advantage and quickly pulled herself up and around the clown before pulling back on the chains in an attempt to choke the clown. Y/N looked up and her eyes caught sight of Beverly holding onto the spear she had dropped moments before.

"Beverly, kill it!" Y/N cried out and the red head quickly went forward only for It to shake once again and instantly stop Beverly in her tracks as she came face to face with her father.

"Hey, Bevvy," It said, a smirk on what looked like Beverly's father's face. "Are you still my little-"

It didn't get a chance to finish what it was saying as Beverly let out a scream of anger and stabbed the clown through the throat. Y/N jumped back in surprise at that, her hands releasing the chains which instantly dropped to the ground while her eyes flickered up to look at Beverly.

The red head made eye contact with Y/N and Y/N couldn't help but give her the smallest of smiles despite the circumstance and whisper, "Way to release your inner badass."

Beverly cracked a small smile at that and Y/N was quick to join the red head's side as the two girls slowly backed away from the clown and over to their friends. They watched as It turned back into the clown before spitting the spear out as if it were nothing.

"Oh shit!" Eddie exclaimed as he jumped back, bumping into Y/N who reached out to grab onto the boy's arm. It let out some gurgled noises and began to back away, but the kids all stepped towards it threateningly with glares on their faces.

It moved back until it hit another well and let out a gasp of air as it looked at the Losers. It laughed as it looked between the kids, but the laughter quickly turned into small sobs as the clown realized the kids were no longer afraid of it. They were pissed off, not afraid.

"That's why you didn't kill Beverly," Bill muttered in realization. "Cause sh-sh-she wasn't afraid. And we aren't either. Not anymore. Now you're the one who's afraid cause you're gonna starve."

It's face contorted in pain and fear at that and Y/N smirked before taking a step forward to stand next to Bill. Bill didn't even hesitate to reach out and gently take the girl's hand, their fingers intertwining as they stared at the clown confidently.

It whispered and flipped over the side of the well before gripping onto the edge as the rest of the Losers also stepped forward.

"He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghost," It whispered as Stan handed the spear over to Bill. Bill took it and looked back at the clown who was watching the group with wide eyes. "He thrusts his fists against the p-p-post-"

Bill let go of Y/N's hand in order to hold the spear up and went to lift it up, but It flinched and slid further down the well. Bill hesitated at that and the group watched as It's face began to break apart before their very eyes.

"Fear," It said before letting go of the side of the well and falling within.

Y/N's eyes widened and she was quick to run to the side of the well, Bill joining at her side as the two looked over the edge as the clown fell. The Losers leaned over from behind the two and watched as well until It was out of sight.

"I know what I'm doing for my summer experience essay," Richie muttered, but not even Y/N could find it in herself to let out a small laugh.

They then pulled back and that left Y/N and Bill staring over the edge. The two both let out shaky breaths before looking at each other, their eyes locking almost instantly as the reality of everything that had just happened hit them.

It was silent as the two stared at each other and Bill hesitantly reached out before brushing his hand against Y/N's. She moved her hand the rest of the way and wrapped her fingers around the boy's until their hands were interlocked. No words were exchanged, but there didn't have to be. Their hands gripping onto each other's spoke more than any words could've in that moment.

All Y/N wanted to do was collapse into Bill's arms, to hold him tight and never let go. She had almost lost him. They had all almost died. And all she wanted to do now was hold on to the boy she liked more than anything in the world and tell him how she felt.

But now wasn't the time to tell him and she knew that, so the girl only gave Bill a small smile which the boy quickly returned before yanking her arm forward and pulling her into his arms.

Y/N instantly relaxed into the boy's hold despite the burning coming from her chest, Bill digging his face into her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist so tight that if it were any tighter she wouldn't be able to breathe. Bill let out a shaky breath as he held onto her and Y/N had to choke back a sob as she held onto Bill, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him back just as tight as she rubbed the back of his neck.

"Guys, the kids are floating down," Eddie muttered and that was what had Y/N and Bill pulling away from each other. The two locked eyes for a mere second before Bill wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side, the two turning their attention to the kids who were in fact floating down.

Y/N was too busy looking at the dead kids floating down to the ground to notice that Bill had looked away, his gaze catching on something lying in the mound of toys and trash off to the side. The spear in Bill's hand clanged against the ground and Y/N jumped before looking to the boy who had let go of her and was beginning to move towards the object he had seen.

It was like he had seen a ghost and Y/N had never seen the boy look so heartbroken and distraught in her life. Y/N craned her neck to try and see what Bill was looking at and her breath hitched in her throat at the sight of Bill falling to his knees as he reached for a yellow raincoat.

Richie was the first one to move and Y/N knew Bill needed the comfort of his friends more than anything so she allowed Richie, Eddie, and Stan to walk over there first, the three boys instantly circling the boy. Richie knelt down beside him and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder right as Bill let out a choked sob.

Y/N felt tears of her own filling her eyes and she quickly jogged over to the group while Beverly, Mike, and Ben trailed behind her. Stan, Richie, and Eddie had started to hug Bill and Y/N stood there awkwardly for a moment before she noticed Bill clenching onto the jacket and looking around as if he were trying to find someone.

His eyes locked with hers and he let out another heartbroken sob. Y/N knew what that meant and was quick to hurry over and kneel down in front of the boy, not hesitating in joining in the hug from the front so that Bill could wrap his arms around her as he cried. Bill gripped onto her one hat seemed like desperation and Y/N held onto him tightly while he his sobs shook his whole body.

He clenched the raincoat in his hands, sobbing against Y/N's shoulder as he whispered, "He's gone. Georgie's dead."

Those words seemed to strike a cord in each of them and the Losers all crowded together in a group hug as more tears began to fall. Bill's heartbreak was their heartbreak, but they couldn't tell whether they had begun to cry because of Georgie or because of everything that had happened that summer.

It didn't matter to them though for in that moment they were together, they were the Losers' Club once again and nothing would break them apart. The battle was over. It was gone and they had won.

So why did this feel like it was only the beginning?

* * *

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forevermyalwaysphff · 4 years

Text

Chapter 19

A/N: I have just posted Chapter 18 (Click HERE for the chapter) so make sure you read that one first before starting Chapter 19

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"May the court hear from Mrs. Bowman''s social worker, Miss Grey." The family court judge called upon Alexa to stand and speak her recommendation on her client, Leanna Bowman's custody of her son Eddie Bowman. This had been an ongoing battle since Eddie's biological father had re-appeared into the picture and had tried to gain custody of him, which the judge had denied.

Alexa took in a deep breath and sighed heavily while she stood up and straightened her dark navy suit. "You may proceed, Miss Grey."

"Your honour. It is my recommendation as Leanne Bowman's case social worker that her child, Eddie Bowman, is to remain under her full custody." Alexa took in another breath. This was the part of her job that she did not enjoy, but due to her work with Guardian and their close contact with the domestic abuse survivors, Alexa was often called in to family court to give recommendations on custody status.

"Leanne Bowman has made tremendous strides the past five months at Guardian. She started out using our shelter services for herself and her son and has now found a safe affordable home in the local council housing inclusive of the necessities for taking care of Eddie. Leanne has continued to attend Guardian for our therapy, financial and social services which she plans to remain attending in the future. Mrs. Bowman has found a local daycare and employment within walking distance of her home." Alexa lowered her head briefly, feeling everyone in the court's eyes on her.

"Despite, Mrs. Bowman's domestic history with her ex-partner. I do recommend that Eddie continues to stay with his mother and the trial period of custody be moved to a permanent decision given that she abides by the no contact order with Mr. Turner." Alexa looked the judge in the eyes showing her confidence with the recommendation to the court.

The judge slowly nodded her head as Alexa took her seat beside The Bowman's lawyer. Alexa turned her head towards Leanne who was displaying a grateful expression towards her. She simply smiled and turned her attention back towards the judge as she deliberated.

Alexa felt a light tap on her shoulder from behind. She angled her body to find Eddie being his adorable self dressed in a little suit with a green polka dotted bow tie. His little contagious smile was beaming up at her. "Do I get to stay with my mommy?" He whispered to Alexa.

Her heart sank in his chest seeing his chocolate brown hopeful eyes staring up at her waiting for a reply. "I don't know yet, hun. We have to wait for the nice lady up at the front to tell us." Alexa noticed that he started to get worried that he would not be able to go home with his mom today. Even though he was quite young, he understood what was going on as this was not his first time being in a courtroom like this. Alexa suddenly felt a healthy level of doubt in her suggestion. Was it really the right decision for Eddie? Or was it the right decision for Leanne?

"Want me to come back and sit with you while we wait?" Alexa shook the thought from her mind and focused on Eddie.

He did not waste a second in replying. "Yes please!" Eddie politely asked Alexa and she immediately stood up and snuck around to sit next to him.

The judge had returned to the courtroom after a short recess to deliberate her decision. The deafening silence in the courtroom was profound as nearly everyone was on the edge of their seats awaiting the verdict on the custody of Eddie Bowman.

Alexa closed her eyes as the judge started to speak. There was a gut feeling that had grown inside of her at the last minute that Eddie should not be with his mother. The problem was it was only a gut feeling and she racked her mind searching and searching for any little doubt in her mind that matched this innate feeling.

"Congratulations Leanne Bowman. You have full custody of your son Edward Bowman. There will be a review period in six months to ensure that you are adhering to the set out rules of this custody agreement including the no contact order with Mr. Turner." The judge disclosed her ruling and everyone in the courtroom was happy with the outcome, except for Alexa. But, she stood up and displayed a soft smile watching Eddie run to his mom and give her a big hug.

Leanne turned around to face Alexa and opened her arms to pull her into a tight embrace. "Thank you Alexa. This wouldn't have happened without you." She gratefully thanked Alexa for her help, but those words felt heavy in her mind as she repeated them.

"You are welcome. Please take care of him." Alexa softly encouraged Leanne to remain true to her promise.

Alexa exited the courthouse walking out of the main entrance down the steps when all of a sudden she was ambushed by a few paparazzi that had gotten wind that she was appearing in court today. The ambush startled her and pulled her from her deep internal debate.

"You are one hard person to find Miss Grey." One of the men shouted as they continued to photograph her down the steps of the courthouse.

The blonde remained silent, giving them no response as she continued to look to the ground and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, being careful not to get pictured falling down these stairs in her heels.

Alexa had been quite clever recently in avoiding the paparazzi thanks to tips from her boyfriend, Harry. But, she figured they would find her again eventually only wishing that it wasn't today. She dug in deep and found a source of courage to get through the next few minutes until she could escape them. One thing that Harry had taught Alexa to get away from them was to quickly get into a taxi even if only for a few minutes away to get some distance between the paps and her.

The blonde spotted a taxi stand nearby and purposefully stepped towards it. She motioned to the man standing in front of the black taxi that she wanted a ride.

"Alexa can you tell us who will be your plus one to Princess Eugenie's wedding?!" They shouted at Alexa as she climbed into the back seat and closed the door. But, a hand grabbed the door frame stopping it from closing.

Alexa glanced up at the man attempting to stop her from getting away from them. Her green eyes glared up at him as they locked into his gaze. "Let go of the door now. Or you will be hearing from my lawyers." She threatened him in hopes that he would remove his hand.

He slowly removed his hand and Alexa slammed the door shut. She drew in a shaky breath, feeling like she had been holding her breath for a long time. Closing her eyes she told the taxi driver her destination, deciding to take the full ride over to meet her friend for afternoon tea.

"Can you take me to Fortnum and Mason please."

--------------------------------

"Hello ma'am. Do you have a booking with us for tea this afternoon?"

Alexa was greeted at the front entrance to the tea room at Fortnum and Mason. "Yes, I believe it is under Victoria Sutton." She was meeting Victoria, a friend of hers from Alexa's past relationship with Reese Kellington.

"Right this way." Alexa followed the hostess into the tea room towards an awaiting Victoria.

Victoria spotted Alexa in her line of vision making her face light up with a beaming grin as she stood to greet Alexa. "Ah! Lexi!" The blonde pulled Alexa in to greet her with a traditional kiss on the cheek before hugging her small frame.

"Hi, Victoria. How are you?!" Alexa matched her friend's beaming smile. She pulled out the chair from her spot and took her seat while the hostess handed them their menus.

"I am well, how are you? It has been so long since I have last seen you!" Victoria locked in Alexa's green eyed gaze.

Alexa had met the Sutton Hotel heiress through her ex Reese. She had become close with the blue blooded aristo even though she initially thought it would be an unlikely friendship. But, when Alexa and Reese ended their relationship, Alexa distanced herself from nearly everyone associated with Reese including the friends she had made during that time. A part of her felt guilty for simply disappearing but at the time, it was what she needed to do for herself.

"I know it's been so long. I was really happy to hear from you last week." Alexa smiled genuinely. "I am sorry for just disappearing after everything." She began to apologize. "I know there is no explanation that justifies that... but I had to do -"

"You had to do it in order to survive." Victoria nodded displaying a genuine expression of understanding. "I heard what Reese had done... I don't blame you at all or harbor any ill will towards you at all. That is why I reached out to you. I missed you and our friendship." Victoria reached her hand out and squeezed Alexa's in a gesture of reassurance.

"Thank you, Vic." Alexa was feeling extremely guilty over her past decision. But, she desperately wanted to catch up with Victoria.

"Anyway, let's not talk about that bastard." Victoria waved the subject off. "Let's enjoy our afternoon tea and you can tell me all about your life! I hear you are going to be in a royal wedding this summer?! That is so exciting!"

Alexa giggled lightly. "Yeah, I am and everyone knows it. I even nearly got followed here by the paps!" She sighed heavily remembering the man trying to stop her taxi moments before she arrived.

"Oh god! They can be absolutely horrendous Lex!" Victoria's posh British accent came forth. "You have to be careful. I can give you some tips on how to deal with them if you want?" Alexa's friend kindly offered to her as she had her fair share of experiences with them due to her family's standing.

"Awe, thank you Vic. I appreciate that." Alexa started to scan the menu. "But, my boyfriend has been helping me handle them."

"Ooooh! Your boyfriend?" Victoria lifted her head up from the menu. "Who is it?! You have to tell me everything."

Alexa had put her foot in her mouth not realizing the extent to what she had just revealed. She started to backtrack and down played the whole thing. "I meant he is just making sure I don't come home crying every night!" She tossed her head back with nervous laughter.

"Are you ladies ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?" The waiter came at the perfect time to interrupt their conversation.

"I think we are ready?" Victoria lifted her head to make brief eye contact with Alexa and saw her nodding a response. "Go ahead Lex."

"Uh, I am going to get the Champagne Afternoon tea with the mable peach tea." Alexa lifted her head to glance up at the waiter then to Victoria.

"That is a perfect choice ma'am." He turned towards Victoria. "Ma'am what can I get for you?"

Victoria flipped through the tea choices one more time. "I will also get the Champagne Afternoon tea with the Rose Pouchong tea."

"Great ladies. I will be back shortly with your orders." The waiter took his leave.

"So... tell me about this boy!" Victoria was grinning from ear to ear as she brought back the subject Alexa was desperately trying to avoid.

Alexa squirmed in her spot unsure of whether to divulge the fact that Victoria already knew her boyfriend, Prince Harry. In fact, she was one of his childhood friends and knew him quite well according to Harry, but they lost touch after he left Eton. She had talked with Harry late last night as she laid awake in bed nervous about today's court appearance and told him she had plans to go have tea with Victoria Sutton afterwards.

The prince was quite taken back to find out that she was friends with Victoria, but he was also supportive of her to go to the tea and reconnect with one of her friends. Especially someone he knew who was known to keep her intentions true.

"Well, he is pretty great actually." Alexa was now beaming remembering last night's conversation with him. "He has really taught that it is ok to take a chance at love again and that not all men are like Reese." She confessed to Victoria.

"Awe." Victoria was taking in Alexa's expression in front of her knowing that it was one of true happiness. She had become quite worried about Alexa when she quite literally fell off the face of the earth after Reese and Alexa ended their relationship. The problem was that Victoria had been friends with both of them and quite frankly did not know who to be supportive of. But, when she found out more about what Reese had done to Alexa, she immediately took a step back from her friendship with him. Victoria had attempted to contact Alexa, but she simply did not reply until now. She never held any ill will towards the blonde beauty for doing this and simply wanted to be there for her friend who she knew was going through a very difficult time.

"I love to see you so happy again, Alexa. You can really tell that you are with whoever this man is." Victoria watched Alexa's smile grow even wider at her comment. "How long have you two been together?"

"We were friends at first, but have been dating since May." Alexa was starting to find that comfortable trusting feeling that she had initially shared with Victoria and what had drawn Alexa to her in the first place. Despite Victoria's aristocratic status with her father owning a major international hotel corporation and her mother being a daughter of the current Duke of Somerset, she never did flaunt her status like most aritos did. She even started her own fashion line that had been receiving raving reviews and even has a few store fronts on the major streets of London.

"That is seriously so great. I cannot wait to meet him!" Victoria excitedly clapped her hands.

The two of them were enjoying their afternoon tea, catching up as if no time had lapsed between the last time they had seen each other. Victoria took a bite of her clotted cream and strawberry jam topped scone before leading the conversation down to a place Alexa did not want to go to. "You know, I am seriously so happy to see that you have moved on too like Reese has done." It was an innocent comment, but one that made Alexa quite curious.

Alexa was hesitant to ask, not entirely wanting to know more details about Reese's current relationship, but curiosity got the best of her. "Reese has moved on too?" She probed a bit wondering if she could get it out of Victoria who he was currently with though Alexa had a good guess who it was.

"Yeah, he's been with Gemma Andrews for a while now."

Alexa dropped her knife as it clattered against her plate.

Gemma Andrews. The name repeated in her mind.

Reese had admitted that he had cheated on Alexa with Gemma not once, but multiple times in their relationship. Gemma was often the one at the forefront of his group of friends belittling her every chance she could get. Alexa was hit with a wave of emotions that nearly knocked the wind right out of her. Those same soul crushing emotions that shook her to her core. How could he do that to her? Did Reese have no respect whatsoever towards her? But, then again he never truly did care about her like she had him.

Victoria had realized what she may have done. "Oh, Lex. I shouldn't have said anything..." She bore witness to the pain etched across Alexa's face that replaced the happy expression she held moments prior.

"No, I needed to know." Alexa shook her head and bit her lips to hold back her tears. "Gemma was the woman he repeatedly cheated on me with, Victoria." She admitted with tears brimming over her eyes.

"I am so sorry..." Victoria felt awful for bringing this up to Alexa. "I - I didn't know that." She closed her eyes and shook her head at Reese. "She was always so vile towards you."

Alexa swallowed the lump in her throat and held back her tears not wanting to ruin her time with Victoria. "Let's just move on from it and have fun."

"Yes, let's." Victoria waved over a waiter. "Can we have another bottle of Champagne please?"

---------------------------------

Alexa had found herself walking aimlessly around Hyde Park being trapped deep into her thoughts about everything that had happened today and everything that she had been struggling with as of late. She was supposed to be home by now and spending time with Harry who had come up for the weekend to stay at her place. Pulling out her phone she had several missed calls and voicemails from Harry and she knew that her late return would only worry him further. To be fair, she had no idea it had gotten this late.

She listened to the last voicemail he had sent her.

"Alexa. Where are you? You are really starting to worry me. It's nearly 8pm and you should have been home hours ago... I took Peanut for a walk and fed her." He sighed deeply as his voice trailed off. "Love, let me know you are ok and where you are. I can come get you." The concern laced in his voice was evident and Alexa felt guilty for making him feel that way.

She immediately brought up his number and started to call him. The phone only rang once before he answered it like he had been waiting for her call.

"Alexa?" His deep voice sounded over the other line.

The mere sound of his voice was enough for Alexa to nearly break. She closed her eyes and felt tears starting to stream down her cheek while she breathed in a strangled breath. "Can you come get me?" She sniffled and wiped her tears away.

"Where are you?" He did not hesitate after hearing her cries over the phone.

Alexa glanced around. "I am in Hyde Park by the Serpentine I think..." She released a sob.

"I'm coming."

Alexa was sitting on a park bench when she lifted her head and saw a man walking towards her wearing a cap. She breathed out and stood up slowly knowing that it was Harry attempting to disguise his identity in such a public space.

"Alexa." He closed in the rest of the distance between them and pulled her into a hug feeling her clinging tightly to him. The immediate security that Harry gave her in that moment was something she held onto, not wanting to let go of him and that feeling that surrounded her. She buried her head into the crook of his neck and released a heavy sigh as he gently stroked his fingers through her blonde locks.

She lifted her head up and locked in the prince's concerned gaze. His brow was furrowed and his deep blue eyes were filled with worry. Harry had no idea what was going on with her, yet here he was. He lifted his hand and cupped her cool cheek to tenderly stroke it. "Are you ok?" His voice broke through her thoughts and pulled her out from the depths of his deep blue eyes.

She struggled to answer his question not wanting to lie to Harry, but also not wanting to cause more concern for him. Alexa felt her tears betray her as they trickled down her cheek giving Harry his answer. "I am now." She whispered quietly to him. "Will you take me home?"

Harry brushed away her tears and nodded silently. "I'm parked a short walk from here. Let's get you home." He grasped her hand and clasped their fingers together interlocking them as they made their way to Harry's car. The prince led Alexa out of Hyde Park being careful to avoid contact with others hoping that his cap would hide his identity.

He opened the back car door and motioned for Alexa to crawl in first to which he quickly followed suit. Sitting down next to his girlfriend he looked up in the drivers mirror at Magnus, his protection officer, giving him a quick nod that they were ready to leave.

The prince felt Alexa snuggle in beside him and grasp his arm before laying her head to rest on his shoulder. He placed a comforting touch on her knee being finally able to take her all in. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips seeing how sexy she was in her suit she had picked for her court appearance today.

"You look beautiful today." He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to her temple. An adorable smile formed on her lips, one that he knew himself placed there.

"Thanks baby." Alexa peaked up at him, staring into his eyes. "Thank you for coming to get me. I didn't mean to worry you..." She gave him a peck on the lips.

"You did really worry me, love." His brow furrowed with concern, but this only caused Alexa to turn her head away from him and avert her gaze. Clearly she was not ready to talk to him about what happened today.

"Hey... hey." He coaxed Alexa's attention back on him. "You don't need to tell me what happened until you want to ok?" Harry watched a silent Alexa nod her head. "Why don't we pick up some take out and just throw on a movie at your place and cuddle? How does that sound?"

Alexa's lips pulled into a soft smile. "That sounds perfect, Harry. What do you want to pick up?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "You choose, babe. Doesn't matter to me."

She shook her head no. "I want you to get something you enjoy. You don't really get to when you are in Suffolk."

"Alright..." Harry pondered for a moment. "Shall we get take out from that Greek place from down the street from your flat?"

"Oh, yes!" Alexa was thrilled with Harry's choice. "Can we get a side of pita and tzatziki sauce?!"

"Anything you want!"

------------------------------------

Harry shifted into a comfortable position and helped Alexa crawl into the same space he created for her on the sofa. They had picked out a movie together and cuddled up into each other with a cozy blanket covering them.

He would occasionally glance down at Alexa and notice that even though she was staring straight ahead at the TV, she wasn't actually watching the movie. Rather that she was caught in an internal debate in her own mind. The prince leant down and kissed her exposed shoulder wanting her to know that he was here for her. Alexa's response was cuddling back further into him.

A few minutes later, Alexa suddenly sat up and turned around to face Harry. She held her head down low and started to fidget with her hands nervously. "I'm sorry about today...." Alexa quietly whispered. "I -" She breathed out deeply. "I have been struggling lately Harry..." Alexa's confession caused Harry to sit up straight and reach across her to grab the remote and pause the movie.

"Talk to me love." He gave Alexa his full attention.

"I don't even know where to begin." She softly whispered as she felt the weight of her confession slowly consume her as if the revelation was taking control of her body and finally seeping out of her from holding in for so long. Her head lifted to glance up at Harry showing a wounded expression.

The prince's heart dropped in his chest seeing the visible pain etched across her face. This was not the woman he had come to know. All he could do was listen to Alexa and try to help her in any way he could. "Just start somewhere and go from there, babe. We have all night and I am all yours for the weekend." He grasped her hand and squeezed in reassuringly. A tiny smile peaked through her wounded expression giving Harry a bit of hope.

"Well, today I just had an awful day really and it was sort of my tipping point." Alexa began. "First, at court I read my recommendation for Eddie's custody hearing and I thought what I recommended was right... but then I had this awful sinking feeling that he should not be with his mother." Alexa was clearly bearing the weight of this decision. "I couldn't find a reason why all that it was just a gut feeling that I had. I never wish to take a child away from their mother, but I can't help but feel something is going to happen, Henry, and I feel sick about it. If anything happens to Eddie..." She choked out tears and nearly broke down in front of Harry right there.

Harry grabbed her shaking body and enveloped his arms around her. "Lex. You weren't the only one saying Eddie was ok to stay with his mom. The judge would have decided based on all the information she was given and though your recommendation had a part, it was not the only part to play." He tried his best to comfort her, but he knew that she was only getting started.

"What if something happens Harry?" She lifted her head and looked away from her boyfriend with tear stained cheeks.

"I can't tell you it won't, but for now you know he is safe. She has to check in at Guardian weekly doesn't she?" Harry tried to provide her with some reassurance.

"Yeah... I guess." She nodded her head, but she still would not look at him as her mind drifted towards the conversation with Victoria earlier that afternoon. How was she going to tell Harry about Reese?

"What else?" He encouraged Alexa to keep talking.

How do you talk to your current boyfriend about your ex and how much he has hurt you and apparently still is hurting you? Alexa desperately wanted to avoid it, but she knew she had to tell Harry.

"Please don't be mad... or get angry." Alexa swiveled her head to lock in her boyfriend's gaze.

"Alexa, why would I be angry with you? You are just telling me what you are dealing with and I hope that I can somehow help you." Harry was a bit taken back.

"You might not like what is bothering me..." She led on.

"Babe, come on just tell me. I promise you I won't." Harry tried to reassure her.

Alexa bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "I went for afternoon tea with Victoria and we started talking about how I have moved on with you from my past relationship." She paused for a moment to clarify. "Vic doesn't know you are my boyfriend, I kept that from her." Alexa wanted to make sure Harry knew that. "But, she told me that Reese had also moved on and well the person that he is with now is the same woman who he admitted to cheating on me with numerous times..." She let the words sink in again while Harry remained silent.

His girlfriend took in a shaky breath. "Hearing that he is with Gemma really threw me into the deep end again this afternoon. It's like it brought up that day all over again and somehow even though I haven't seen him for a long time, he was still able to elicit such pain and hurt from me today and I hated that." Alexa cried out with a hint of anger. "He has no right to make me feel that way anymore, but he did. You really do not understand how much he hurt me Harry..." She shook her head in shame. "Even though I am falling for you so hard for you right now. It's still so painful at times to remember." She shook her head. "I didn't want you to be angry with how he made me feel... and sometimes still makes me feel."

"Babe." He lifted her chin delicately with his finger to make Alexa look into his eyes. "I will never be angry or mad at how you feel, even if it is about what your piece of shit of an ex did to you. You have every right to feel whatever you feel and I want you to feel comfortable enough to talk to me and tell me about everything like this, not keep it inside to struggle on your own." Harry watched her eyes well up with another flood of tears. "Is this why you were walking around Hyde Park so late?"

Alexa nodded her head slowly. "I needed some time to just clear my head, but it really didn't help and then when I looked at my phone I didn't realize how late it was and that I kept you waiting for me." She wiped away a stray tear that trickled down her cheek with a balled up piece of his sweater she wore. "Then all I wanted was you..."

The prince tucked a stray piece of her blonde locks behind her ear and gently bent her forehead down towards him to place a soft kiss there. "I'm always going to be here for you, Lex."

"I know, babe."

"I just don't want to see you like this. I want to help you in any way I can." The sincerity in his voice was genuine. "Let me grab a bottle of wine and we can just sit and talk tonight instead. What do you think?"

Alexa nodded her head without a second thought. "Yah, I'd like that."

--------------------------------

Harry had his girlfriend in stitches of laughter, holding her belly and being careful not to spill her glass of wine. He was telling Alexa a story of him and his army pal Connor that he knew would make his girl fall into fits of laughter. Hearing her laughter and seeing that elated smile graced on her face was something he had missed seeing as of late. Their time together was limited and he wanted to make every second of it count.

"Oh, Harry." Alexa leaned her head back against the frame of the couch and simply took the view of him all in. How did she become so lucky and find someone like Harry to be in her life? "I am so lucky to have you in my life, babe. You literally are the best thing that has ever happened to me." Alexa closed in the distance between them and captured his wine soaked lips in a passionate, but soft kiss. "I'm happy you decided to stay here with me this weekend."

The prince smiled out of the kiss and nodded in agreement. "It worked out well that Alice is with Jay in Germany this week and I get you all to myself." He gently grabbed Alexa and pulled his girlfriend into his lap to sneak another kiss in before finding a comfortable position to cuddle with her in.

"What else is on your pretty little mind, love?" He smothered her head with a series of sweet kisses that brought a smile to her face.

"Mmmm...." Alexa giggled with a sultry look on her face.

"Oh!" Harry laughed knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Tonight. I get you." Alexa informed Harry that he had no choice in the matter and he was completely ok with that. "But, I like sitting here talking with you like this. Can we stay here a bit longer?" She started to play with the tufts of Harry's ginger hair while he stared up at Alexa.

"Mmmm hmmm... that feels nice." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply angling his head to give her more access to play with his hair. A comfortable silence fell between them as they relished in the presence of the other's company. It was moments like this, private moments that Harry loved spending with Alexa and getting to know her better. But, he knew that there was much more on her mind that she wanted to share with Harry. "What's on your mind?" He gently coaxed it out of Alexa.

She took a healthy sip of her wine and sat back into his lap. "Eugenie." Alexa spoke his cousin's name.

"I thought so..." Harry nodded his head. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"Harry, it's been weeks." The blonde beauty sighed with a light head shake. "It is really eating me up from the inside. I don't know what to do. Have you talked to her at all?"

"No." He took a sip of his wine. "I think she is avoiding me honestly."

"I have wanted to reach out to her, Harry. I miss her in my life, she is one of my best friends. But, she makes me feel like I can't have you and be her friend when she was even the one to tell me to go out with you." Alexa took another sip of her wine. "Like I said before, I want both of you and I don't think that is being selfish, is it? My other friends have never even asked me to make that choice, ever."

"No, not at all." Harry agreed with his girlfriend. "Look, I can tell how much Eugenie means to you and she means alot to me too, love. But, this is not a one way street she also has to be the one to want this. She has to put in the effort too."

"I know love." Alexa looked down to the floor briefly then back at him. "I just miss my friend."

"She chose you to be there by her side for one the most important days of her life, Alexa." Harry sat up straighter. "I know for a fact that she still cares about you the way you care about her. I hate that I am the one thing that has put a wedge between you two. But, I am not willing to give you up so easily..." He freely spoke his mind. "I can't do that..."

"The problem though Harry is Eugenie cannot accept that I want both of you in my life. For some reason, she wants me to choose her over you... I want to be there for her in August. I really do, but I am starting to think that maybe I am not the right person and it nearly breaks me admitting that." Alexa released a heavy sigh. "That thought has been creeping up into my mind lately and I don't want to think about it, but it has. I am just at a loss of what to do..." She trailed off and became quiet. "I don't want another fight like that night... I don't want you two at each other's throats."

"Do you want to invite her over tomorrow?" Harry was willing to give up his precious time with his girlfriend to help her re-connect and fix her relationship with his cousin, Eugenie. "I am happy to leave for a few hours and see a mate or something if you want some time alone with her."

Harry was giving Alexa a very feasible option, but she didn't want that option to include having less time with him. "No... I want to spend time with you. You drove all the way from Suffolk and changed your schedule around to be with me." Alexa was extremely touched by the selfless offer Harry had given her. "Thank you though for trying to help. I know you want to make me happy."

"You have to talk to Eugenie, Alexa. One way or another."

"I know, I just don't know how to..." Her mind drifted off and so did their conversation about Eugenie.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Damn I missed that." Alexa giggled happily as she nestled her naked body beside the prince. The two of them had just finished being intimate with one another and it was something that they both needed. Needing it so much that they had already finished round two.

Harry's chest rumbled with laughter while Alexa rested her head on it and started to run her fingers over the contour of his abdominal muscles. He gently rubbed up and down the side of her arm finding it comforting to have Alexa next to him like this.

A smile crept up on his lips at the simple thought of how much he loved having this woman in his life. There was just something about Alexa that he was innately drawn to. He felt her take in a deep breath and sigh as her mind travelled elsewhere knowing that she was probably thinking about Eugenie.

When Alexa had come up to the Lake District and spent the weekend meeting his friends, he felt their relationship progress on to a deeper level. When he was away from her, he missed her terribly and his thoughts were never far from her. They made an effort to talk daily to one another and ensure this semi long distance relationship was going to work. He was the one that often came back on his free days to London mainly because of his commitments to his patronage and his family, but he always made time to see her. Alexa would take a Monday or Friday off and drive up to Suffolk for the weekend occasionally. The prince would let her use his office space in his home for the times she was able to stay longer into the week with him and work from home. He loved how everything was progressing in their relationship and he truly wanted Alexa to be his date to Eugenie's wedding. But, in doing so would put their relationship out there for the world to see. He was not entirely sure that Alexa was ready for that yet having admitted that she was struggling lately. Harry needed to fix something in her life this weekend and he knew exactly what he needed to do.

"Lex, I have to make a phone call I forgot to do on the way down today." He got out of bed and slipped away from her.

"At this time of night?" Alexa glanced to the clock sitting on her bedside table before getting a great view of the prince's naked ass. She leaned forward and gave it a little smack as the prince bent over to pull on his boxers that were tossed on her floor.

Harry glanced back over his shoulder at Alexa displaying a mischievous grin before a light giggle escaped her lips. "Get your hot ass back here quick."

"Yes ma'am." Harry offered her a wink before grabbing his phone off the bedside table. He took one step then turned back around to place a soft kiss to Alexa's lips.

The prince snuck out into her living room and ensured he closed the bedroom door. He sat down on a chair by the window and glanced out at the dimly lit quiet streets while he waited and continued to hear the phone ringing.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered on the other line.

"Eugenie?" Harry closed his eyes knowing that he had probably woken her up, but he had to talk to his cousin.

"Harry? It's late..." She slightly scolded him.

"I know. I know it is, but this can't wait." Harry released a deep breath. "Just give me a few minutes please."

There was a long drawn out pause on the other side of the line.

"Ok. What is it Harry?" Eugenie spoke. "I think I already know..."

"I think you do." Harry nodded slowly and then began. "She misses you Eugenie. Alexa misses having her best friend in her life. She was in near tears about it tonight and she doesn't know what to do because she feels absolutely torn between you and I."

"I miss her too..." Eugenie quietly confessed. "I miss not seeing her."

"Then call her and tell her that." Harry softly encouraged his cousin. "Can you put the past aside and accept that Alexa and I are together?" He sighed. "This fight between you and me has to end. We both want what is best for her in the end and that is her having both of us in her life. But, we can never put her in that spot again where she has to choose between you and me or we'll both lose her... and I can't..." Harry trailed off.

"I don't want her to choose between us. I only want to spend more time with her and you two are always together." Eugenie spoke freely. "There never seems to be time for me and her."

"Genie... I am only ever here on the weekends and not every weekend. We aren't even together half the time. So I don't know where you got this idea from." Harry was starting to get frustrated that her excuse was of course because of him.

"Look. I am tired of Alexa being so upset about this." Harry was firm. "Call her tonight and set up a time to see her. I'm here this weekend, but if you want to see Lex now I am fine with that."

"Is she not asleep?" Eugenie enquired.

"No... we have been up."

Eugenie laughed in response. "You two have been having sex, that is why you are up this time of night." She continued to giggle. "Ok, fine. I will call her."

"Yes, ok but can you wait like fifteen minutes so she doesn't think I had anything to do with this?" Harry pleaded.

"You really care about her, don't you?" Eugenie's voice became soft.

"More than you know, Eugenie. I have fallen hard for her." Harry confessed. "I only want her to be happy and I know she won't fully be until she has you back in her life. I am willing to do whatever it takes and if that means having to swallow my pride with you, then I am happy to."

"Let's put this to bed then. I miss having my ginger cousin around and maybe we can do some double dates?" Eugenie happily suggested.

"I am sure Lex would be fine with that." Harry giggled lightly. "Ok, I have to go. But, please wait a little bit."

"I will, Harry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Eugenie."

Harry tiptoed back into Alexa's room to find her head on his pillow with her eyes closed. She lifted her head having heard his footsteps approach the bed. "Sorry... it couldn't wait." He pulled back the covers and Alexa shifted back onto her side of the bed until Harry got in.

They found themselves in small talk, discussing what the rest of their weekend was going to look like. She was hoping that Harry would be ok helping her fix a few things around the flat she promised Alice that she would get sorted.

Alexa's phone suddenly rang interrupting her conversation with Harry. A small questioning scowl formed on her face, wondering who was calling this late at night. "Who is calling me this late at night?" She reached over top of Harry and grabbed her phone.

"Eugenie..." Alexa sat up in bed cross legged and whispered her friend's name as she let the phone continue to ring. Her head slowly lifted to look up at Harry wondering what she should do.

"Well answer it, babe." He softly smiled.

"H- Hello?" Alexa answered her friend's call.

"Alexa? Hey, it's Eugenie. I am sorry it's late, but I was wondering if we could talk for a few minutes?" Eugenie cut straight to the point.

"Yeah, sure." A small smile appeared on Alexa's lips. "How are you?" Harry watched Alexa quietly listen to Eugenie's response. He shifted his body closer to his girlfriend and placed a hand on her thigh to gently rub.

"I am good. Been keeping busy." Alexa locked eyes with Harry. "Eugenie... I miss you. I miss my best friend." She freely admitted, but the smile that graced her lips when Eugenie confessed the same thing was one that Harry would never forget. It was one filled with pure hope, that kind of hope that you made you feel everything was going to be ok.

"I am sorry for not calling you. I didn't know what to do, but I am really happy to hear from you." Alexa tossed her head back in laughter hearing something Eugenie had said. "Yeah! Let's do that. Off the top of my head, I am pretty sure that I am free Tuesday evening."

"That sounds perfect, Eugenie. I can't wait to see you." Alexa was quite literally beaming. "Ok, goodnight. Have a good sleep." She hung up the phone and angled her head towards Harry with a bright smile.

"So?" He asked innocently.

"Eugenie and I are going to go shopping on Tuesday then for dinner." Alexa rested her cheek in the palm of her hand. "It was really good to hear from her and hear that she was feeling the same way as me."

Alexa crawled over to Harry and sat in front of him before cupping his cheeks with both of her hands. She gazed into his deep blue eyes as if she was searching for something, but was content quietly sitting there for a moment to get lost in the depths of them. "I know this was your doing. I know you left to call Eugenie." Alexa caressed his cheek and watched a guilty smile form on his lips. "She didn't tell me, but it was not hard to figure out Henry."

"Guilty." Harry smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

She leaned in and captured Harry's lips gently as they fell into a passionate kiss that sparked that inner flame of desire once again. But, this time Alexa was in control as she reluctantly broke her lips off of her boyfriends. "Thank you for all you do for me."

"You always give me more than I deserve. I only want you to be happy and will do anything to make that happen for you." He nudged his nose against Alexa's. A gesture she always did to him.

"Why don't we just have fun for the rest of the weekend and focus on us. I love where this is going." Alexa admitted and Harry was quick to agree with her.

"Does fun include more amazing sex?" He raised his eyebrow suggestively.

"Yeah... if you can keep up." Alexa teased Harry before feeling him grasp her hips and swing her around so she was lying flat on her back on the bed.

Alexa bit down on her bottom lips feeling Harry's lips trail down her body knowing that they were going to get very little sleep this weekend.

#prince harry #prince harry fanfic #fanfic #phff #prince harry fanfiction #chapters #chapter19 #harryandalexa #forevermyalwaysphff

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hornsandthings · 5 years

Text

victory in the wrong clothing;

pairing: (adult) richie tozier x reader

summary: richie returns to his s/o after having left abruptly for derry. still grieving for eddie, he struggles to talk about what has happened. his s/o is there to comfort him, learning more about what richie had once wanted as a child and what he wants now for his future as an adult.

warnings: canon-typical themes, fluff & angst, language lmao // word count: 2.2k (oops)

you felt like an impostor here, sitting on richie tozier’s couch inside his chicago high-rise. richie trashmouth tozier’s couch; comfortable, luxurious, expensive. despite this, you knew what you’d find if you were to have a look around: the awards in his office, the display of rare vinyls next to the record player in the living room, his collection of bizarre ties that he reserved for formal events only. god, you thought a little wildly, the tea in your hands long since gone cold, i feel like a stalker. an outsider who had broken into the comedy star’s apartment, an avid fan whose mind had gone a little haywire with obsession.

and, perhaps just as a stalker would’ve, you took richie’s absence personally. first, it had manifested as anger – you had half a mind to trash trashmouth’s apartment by day two – but then it transformed into a type of gnawing worry. even now, as you sat wide awake at midnight (like every other night of this past week), your gut roiled and your heart pounded as you stared out the big window over the city. chicago’s lights – once exciting and bright – were barely coherent against the night’s darkness, twinkling pitifully as it seemed moments from being swallowed up.

richie was out in that darkness somewhere, his number no longer in service. he had left on a tuesday, home only a moment after a show of his at one of the city’s intimate comedy clubs. your friends had said things like what a bastard! and maybe all those voices finally drove him crazy and oh hon, can’t you see? he found someone else. if it had been anyone else, perhaps you would’ve believed such things, but the way richie had left…

you still remembered it vividly, because it was scary.his hands were shaking, his face pale and drawn as he was throwing clothes into a suitcase, eyes glazed over. in answer to your bewildered questions, he’d been mumbling about home and a call and a promise. some of the panic dissipated into grim determination, but richie tozier had left still looking like a dead man walking.

i don’t understand, you’d nearly wailed, richie, please! talk to me!

richie barely remembered his childhood. for him to return to the town he couldn’t name – or perhaps wouldn’tname – on some sort of random whim…

it had you guiltily checking the medicine cabinet, fearing some sort of break – but no, he’d packed his ADHD medication too. there was this, but also the way he had turned back to you before closing the door. don’t forget me, he’d said, before giving you a desperate, rushed kiss.

the smell of sweat was still in your nose. the smell of fear. richie tozier had been afraid. so no, then. he hadn’t left you. he was running towards something, even if it was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.

so here you sat in the silent apartment, watching the night deepen. you were so in thought that you didn’t register the roll of a suitcase, or the click of a key turning the lock, but then the lights flicked on and footsteps shuffled and you turned and the mug shattered on the floor and there he was, richie tozier, your boyfriend, your goddamn lover.

god, you almost couldn’t believe it. perhaps you were gaping at him, but richie looked older, almost like a stranger. but then his face crumpled, long legs taking stagger-steps as he reached for you, and you all but jumpedhim, wrapping him up in your arms.

“richie! oh god, richie—richie, i—”

“i’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, leaning over you as he hid his face in your hair, almost crushing you as he held tight – but you didn’t care, you welcomed this almost-pain, reassuring you that this was real. his shoulders were shaking, his breath haggard, nails digging into your skin. richie was crying.

you whimpered against his chest, clutching at his crinkled shirt. it almost hurt to hold him like this, body all tense, but it was all you could do for a while, still standing there on the threshold of the living room. when he got a little too heavy, his knees too weak to even hold himself up, you gently pulled him onto that couch.

richie was loathe to let go of you; he clung on, manoeuvring your legs over his lap and your head to his shoulder. cradling the back of your neck, he pressed his lips to yours in a wet kiss, mouth moulding to yours slow and steady, again and again. you cupped his jaw, the scratch of stubble against your palms and as you held his face close, his nose cold as it brushed yours.

“i missed you,” you said, and he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. “i worried for you. you scaredme, richie.” he scared you a little even now, his eyes so solemn. it was a far cry from the richie who would shock audiences with sheer audacity, make you flustered in public, make you giddy and soft with his kindness and affection. i fucking adore you, he’d once whispered into your ear.

richie winced, averting his eyes. “i know. i’m sorry. but i had to, baby. and it—it worked, but—fuck!” he shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. “not everyone—eddie—”

he was shaking now, removing his glasses before pinching the bridge of his nose. you shook your head, feeling your own eyes well up. he wasn’t making any sense, but he was clearly in such despairthat it made your heart ache. “baby,” you murmured, gently taking his hands. “baby, what happened to you? where did you go? who… who’s eddie?”

richie looked at you, taking in your careful grip, your soft tone, your honest face. his chest seized at the way you had said eddie, no suspicion there but only concern and sympathy. god, he didn’t know how to even begin to tell you. i killed a killer clown from outer space, baby, and his psychotic henchman! they both used to pick on me and my friends in middle school! i remembered a whole life i’d forgotten and lost half of it, all in one night! i had some fucking wild TIMES, BABY!

he wanted to tell you the truth – fuck, some part of him needed to – but for all the love he knew you had for him, any sane person would make moves to have him committed. there was this, yes, but it was mostly the burden of knowing which stopped him. to know that there were horrors lurking amongst the stars, things beyond human comprehension, things which had set foot on this fucking earth – it had broken stanley’s mind, the one who had been the most adult of them all. no, he couldn’t do that to you.

“richie,” you said, reverting to a much more simpler question, “are you okay?”

and he broke, a sob escaping his throat with a hitching, ugly sound. he leaned into your touch as you hugged him close, nuzzling his face in your neck as he shook against you. it hurt to cry like this, throat constricting and nose stinging and head aching and heart breaking. the memories in his head ran like a well-watched film reel: the scrape of ground beneath him. eddie’s smile. the splattering of blood. the harsh tug of hands all over him as he screamed, they screamed, the cavern around them screamed. it was all swallowing him again, the smell of the sewers, the unspeakable sights—

it was gradual, but richie started to shift his focus back to the here and now, guided out of the black hole that was the memory of derry by your murmured reassurances, by your hand running through his hair.

“i’m sorry,” he croaked again, but you only hushed him, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“i’m just glad you’re back.”

richie sighed, lifting his head to look at you. he felt a little pathetic, practically draped over you and weeping incoherently while you were being patient, so patient. “geez. fuck me,” he groaned, but you didn’t laugh. instead, you wiped away at a track a tear had left.

he caught your wrist, held onto it as he turned his head to kiss your palm. with a deep breath, richie steeled himself, trying to think of some way to frame the recent horrors into a reasonable narrative. eventually he managed, twisting the truth into a tale of how he and childhood friends – brought back to derry to reunite after hearing one of them had died – were targeted by a serial killer. it all culminated in some unstable underground tunnel, where eddie had died and the damned thing had collapsed before richie could get him out.

“eddie…eds,” he was saying. you had tears in your eyes, squeezing his hands tightly as richie swallowed hard, eyes shining. “oh, baby,” he sighed, wincing at you in weak apology but you shook your head, managing a small smile. you could already tell – it was in the way he had said eddie’s name, in the sorrow that lined his very shoulders. “i… i loved him. when—when we were children. the fucking hypochondriac. he was so fucking neurotic, you know? god… and i never told him. i fucking forgot—how could i—”

oh, it was so painful. when richie had seen him again, seen the whole loser’s club again, they had fallen back into their childhood roles so easily – the things they said, their behaviours, their feelings. there had been moments when richie felt it again – love – but it was tainted by derry’s ugly, ugly attitudes, his own insecurities and doubts. and when eddie had died, in richie’s fucking arms, eddie had ended it with a joke and richie still hadn’t told him, his confession left silent and anonymous on the kissing bridge for those two boys of 1989.

“and we left him there, in the ground, oh fuck he’s gonna hate it—”

his voice faltered as guilt started to gnaw at him again. every night since that horrible, fateful day did richie think about this, about the fact that they had left eddie in the sewers, left him to rotnext to that horrid fucking bitch clown monster fuck and turn into the very thing he feared the most: a putrid leper. a decaying corpse.

you didn’t know what to say. all you could do was watch as richie’s face hardened, eyes rimmed red and lips set in a thin line. there was no anger in you, no sense of betrayal. you knew how strange it could be, to return to your childhood friends – a kind of regression took place, and some part of your old sense of self was reasserted, if only for a little while.

you splayed a palm over his chest. “i am so sorry, richie.” perhaps a cliché phrase, but it was the truth – you wished all of that horrorhadn’t happened to him, wished that he hadn’t suffered such a tragedy. “i love you,” you added, because this was still the truth, too. “i’m here for you, in whatever way you need.”

richie’s brow furrowed, fingers curling over your own. studying the lines of your hand, his thoughts raced, stumbling over each other as emotions roiled and bubbled up within him.

“marry me,” he blurted, head snapping up as he looked at you with wide eyes. “life is so fucking fickle. marry me. marry me, baby.” he was leaning closer now, searching your eyes. “i love you. i know i sound like a fucking two-timer but i’m still in love with you. so much. but when, when he died i just felt everything i did as a kid—”

“you don’t have to explain it away, richie,” you murmured. your heart was pounding as the question – the proposal – settled in your mind, not entirely unrealistic but certainly abrupt. he squeezed your hand once – perhaps in acknowledgement, or perhaps with impatience. “but of course – of course i’ll marry you,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. richie gasped a laugh, grinning wide as he hugged you close. his big hands were roaming your back, eager to touch and to hold.

you had meant what you said – of course you did – yet knew him well enough to know that sometimes he said things before really considering them. careful to keep your voice low and gentle, you said, “but maybe reconsider when you’re not… when you’re not grieving, baby.” you pulled away to see his face fall, but richie nodded, reaching for his glasses.

“i’ll still be asking you,” he murmured.

“and i’ll still say yes.”

richie’s mouth quirked, kissing your forehead as he gathered you back into his arms, his heart still aching a little but warmer now. indeed, when he had first set eyes on you tonight, he realised that it was only now that he felt truly safe again.

“i think a part of every person who we love stays with us,” you spoke, and richie had to agree, because the scar on his palm and the one on his heart were never going to go away. and eventually, hopefully, a small stretch of skin on his ring finger would always be lighter, showing the impression of a ring which he only would seldom – if ever – take off.

with this image in his mind, richie kissed you again, big hands gentle as they curled over your ears. “wanna stay with you forever,” he murmured, hand sliding down to your neck to feel your pulse. such a fragile thing, the heart. but capable of extraordinary strength, too. perhaps his would heal in time. but if it didn’t, if the cracks proved too big to mend, then at least he had you there for him, with him, to hold him if the hurt was to stay.

and he was quite alright with that.

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier x you #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier #it stephen king #some reddie discussion le cri #not too happy w/ the end but had to get it out & finish it!

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 5 years

Text

Meet me in the past part 7

A/N: This is part seven to: ‘meet me in the past’. Omg this is the final part! I can’t believe I actually managed to finish it haha! Thank you so much for all the support and for the comments It means so so much to me honestly! But yeah, it’s kinda sad that the story’s over haha! If anyone wants like some one shots based of this then you can request them but yeah this is it! Please let me know what you think!!

Summary: After Stanley Uris takes his own life, his daughter goes to find the recipients of his letters and ends up in Derry. After an encounter with IT, she ends up traveling back into the past, meeting the younger version of her dad and his friends.

warnings: cursing, mentions of suicide

tagging; @artlovingbre @cocastyle @l0ve-0f-my-life

‘Little hummingbird, hey wake up,’ Emily heard someone whisper to her when she finally regained consciousness. She groaned; her head was killing her. She reached her hand up to rub against her head, but a hand intercepted hers. ‘Don’t do that, you’ll just worsen the bruise,’ someone said to her. Emily’s eyes flew open. She recognized that voice.

She was laying on her back, on a chair that had fallen, and it was pressing harshly into her back. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking only at the ceiling, because she was disoriented and very dizzy and couldn’t quite manage to lift her head up. It seemed like she was back in the Chinese restaurant where she met the adult losers, as she recognized the awful wallpaper. She didn’t know what to expect, not after everything that had happened to her, but she could have sworn she heard...

‘Emily are you okay?’ The same voice called out again. Emily’s eyes filled up with tears straight away, her bottom lip trembling. She looked to her left, towards her father who was crouched down next to her, his eyes looking over her worriedly.

‘Dad’, Emily croaked out, the first tears beginning to fall. Stan’s hand dropped from Emily’s forehead to her hand, squeezing to convey the words he didn’t say; are you alright? She wasn’t, not all. It wasn’t young Stan she was seeing, it was her adult dad, the one who had raised her, the one who had helped her with her homework and who taught her how to write and speak properly, this was her dad. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, no words but a broken sob flowing out. At the sound Stan looked even more worried, if that was possible, his words tumbling out in a panic.

‘Are you alright? Does it hurt so much? You’ve taken a lot of tumbles before I thought this was just like other times,’ as he was speaking, he tried to get her upright, ‘but if it hurts that bad maybe we should get you to a hospital,’ her father worried. Emily couldn’t even think of the words to respond to that.

‘Okay, I got ice’, Mike stood in the doorway, raising his arms in a gesture, a loving but worried smile on his face. Emily’s attention was pulled from her father, for about five seconds, but it was enough for her to see that it was not just her and her dad, every other member of the losers club was seated aswell. Richie closest to her, followed by Bev and Eddie, who had placed his hands on Richie’s shoulder, and Bill who alongside Ben, was picking up shards of glasses in the floor next to her father. She quickly looked back at her father, worried that he might have disappeared in the small time she wasn’t looking at him, but he was still there. ‘Here’, Mike said, caustically approaching the both of them, as if he sensed that something was about to go down.

‘Thank you’, Stan said, taking the ice pack from Mike’s hands but not looking away from Emily. He opened his mouth to say something again, but before the first syllable even left his mouth, Emily grabbed onto his jacket, using it to pull herself upright and hug him like it was the last thing she would ever get to do. She sobbed, almost painfully, and she could feel that everyone was looking at her, but she was too busy crying to respond to it.

She buried her head in Stan’s shoulder, who had started to card his hand through Emily’s hair. ‘Hey, hey it’s alright sweetheart, you’re okay’, he mumbled, though he didn’t sound so sure himself. The ice pack was still in his hand, and with the one he wasn’t using to calm Emily down, he held it to the side of her head, trying to get to the wound as best he could. ‘How are you here?’ Emily cried out, shivering when the ice pack was firmly pressed against her. Stan planted a kiss on the top of her head, ‘what do you mean?’ He asked, and he sounded genuinely confused.

‘What day are we, why are we here. No wait why are you here’? Emily was still so confused. Did she do something in the past to change whatever happened in the future?

‘Maybe we should get her to hospital?’ Eddie reasoned, and she heard Ben hum affirmatively. Emily panicked; she did not want to go to the hospital at all.

I’m alright, I’m alright’, she repeated, pulling back from her dad but still keeping his sleeve tucked tight into her fist. Stan would hate that she knew, because it would form a ton of wrinkles, but he didn’t say anything and just looked at Emily.

She sniffled, whipping her tears away. She had never in her life cried so much as the last few weeks, and she was getting kind off tired of it, she just wanted to stop crying.

She shot her dad a hesitant smile, which he dutifully returned, though Emily could see him rub his hands on his pants, a sign he was nervous.

‘I think I remember, just tell me again so I’m sure,’ Emily lied, using her poker face as to not give away the fact that that was bullshit. She still had no idea how she got here.

Stan stared at her probably to gauge if she was lying or not, but he must not have seen anything for he started to explain regardless.

‘Mike called me to have a reunion with my friends, and because you asked me to come I took you with me remember?’ Stan explained. Emily scrunched her nose up, why would her dad take her with him? And what changed with the last time Mike called?

‘Then you fell backwards when Richie over there pretended to see a cockroach.’

‘Yeah, sorry kiddo’, Richie sheepishly said from behind Emily.

‘What about IT,’ Emily asked without thinking. Stan’s entire body froze up, and if it weren’t for the circumstances, Emily would have laughed.

‘What the fuck’, she heard Richie say, and she turned around to him and the other losers. Eddie’s mouth was dropped open, and Mike sunk down in his seat, staring towards Emily. The others were looking at her with varying amounts of shock.

‘How, how do you know about IT?’ Stan stammered. Emily turned back to him, but she did not know how to respond at all. ‘I don’t know never mind’, Emily was quick to counter, she had no idea why she asked that question, as she didn’t know how to answer it.

‘Emily’, her father said, placing his hand on her shoulder. Emily was breathing quite heavily, in a panic of the reaction of her dad and his friends. ‘Emily it’s okay, I’m not mad, just tell me. You’re not in trouble’, Stan said comfortingly.

‘I just know okay, I know about IT.’ Emily replied, her voice still shaking slightly.

‘But you’ve got to know somehow, I didn’t even remember, let alone told you about any of this, so how do you know?’

‘Can you please just answer my question?’ Emily asked, desperate for the attention to be turned off her.

‘IT didn’t wake up again’, Mike answered her, ‘I guess we really did defeat it was kids, because it hasn’t made any killings, nor has any child gone missing.’

Emily breathed out a sigh of relief. Good. That must have been the reason her father was here, alive.

Emily reached for Richie’s glass on the table, filled to the brim with w whatever drink there was, chucking it down. She could feel her dad’s gaze burning the side of her head, but she didn’t realize why until she spit out the drink a few seconds later.

Richie had a devilish smile on his face, shrugging when Emily looked at him betrayed.

‘I’m an adult man, I get to drink vodka’.

Stan wordlessly handed her his drank, which was plain water.

‘Thanks,’ she muttered. She didn’t have a clue why, but she was thirsty.

‘This is just like when Henry gave me a black eye and Richie told me that I should just drink some alcohol to get my mind off the pain.’ She laughed.

‘Richie did what now?’ Bill chocked on his own drink.

‘Henry bowers gave you a black eye,’ Stan yelled out in a questioning tone.

Emily had a lot of explaining to do.

----------------------------------------------------------------

‘Wait’, Ben said, ‘I think I remember that. You were with u defeating IT weren’t you?’

Emily nodded sheepishly, her leg bouncing up and down nervously. She didn’t dare to make eye contact with her dad, something she had not yet done since starting her story.

She tried to look as innocently as possible, but from the looks the losers were casting behind her, she knew she was not succeeding.

‘You’, Stan started off, his tone so devoid of emotion it made Emily shiver.

‘You went back in time, you faced Henry Bowers, got beat up and then fought IT?’ Stan’s voice went up a few octaves the longer he spoke, his voice near hysterics when he finished.

Emily looked at him dubious, she didn’t want her dad to be mad at her, but she was going to stand up for herself.

‘I didn’t really have all that much choice, it’s not like I chose to go to the past. It wasn’t a conscious thought, but what else was I supposed to do when I ended up there?’ Emily asked, trying to sound as confidently as possible.

‘Yeah, what’s up with that,’ Eddie asked, his nose scrunched up as he thought things over. ‘Aren’t you wondering how that happened? Like statistically the odds of something like that happening are like zero.’

‘Can we not ask these questions, I just found out my daughter fought a demon clown that we all had nightmares about. The how is not important.’ Stan was practically yelling, turning a bit red in the face with contained anger.

‘Dad’, Emily tried hesitantly, but she was cut off before being able to say anything else.

‘Don’t Emily not right now’, Stan said, and Emily had never heard him so mad at her before.

He grabbed her shoulders, turning her towards him. His grip was firm but not harsh, because her dad could never be violent with her. Still though, it showed that he meant business.

‘Why would you ever do that’

You put yourself in so much danger do you understand that? Do you have any idea what could’ve happened to you? Do you know how heartbroken me and your mother would have been if you would have ended up hurt, or even worse dead?’ Stan asked her, shaking her a bit, maintaining eye contact for the entire time he spoke.

Richie laughed nervously; ‘Stan, Stan the man, maybe you shouldn’t.’

Stan looked at Richie, taking a deep breath when he did, realizing his hands from Emily shoulders. ‘I’m sorry, I just need you to know that that was so dangerous, and I never ever want you to do that again.’

Emily frowned, this wasn’t her fault, why would her dad blame this on her?

‘No, I didn’t know what could happen to me, cause you didn’t write me a letter to explain it.’ Emily responded.

Stan frowned at her, she had told him everything, covering up the fact that he killed himself by saying that something happened to him but she didn’t want to talk about that yet, and everyone had accepted that. She hadn’t told him about the letters either, but she realized that she really wanted an answer. It had been eating away at her from the moment she found the other letters, and she needed to know before she would ever be able to let go of what she had seen happen to Stan. She would never be able to look at her dad without questioning.

‘You wrote everyone letters except me, why not me? Did I not have a right to know what was happening?’

Despite her annoyance, she could feel the tears creeping up on her again. The fact that Stan still looked mostly bewildered was not helping.

Emily looked around her, she wasn’t sure if she should say something about her father’s suicide to the others, maybe she should just wait until she was alone with him.

When she glanced at her dad again, he smiled at her encouragingly.

‘It’s okay,’ he murmured, ‘you can tell them everything you want to tell me.’

Emily took a deep breath, she knew that she might hurt her father a lot with the knowledge she was about to spread, but’s he also that Stan would want to know, and now that she had given a piece of her information, Stan would not give up until he knew the full story.

‘You wrote letters,’ Emily said slowly, though she wasn’t sure if it was to prepare her dad or herself. ‘Suicide letters.’

She heard collective gasped from the other losers, though the loudest came from Mike, but Stan’s face remained stoic.

Emily let a few tears fall, thinking back to the moment she saw her mother burst through the door, and her scream tearing throughout the entire house, despite her dad still being alive now, she didn’t think she would be able to enter that bathroom for a long time.

Stan pulled her into a hug, and Emily let him, though she didn’t was worried about him, and about his lack of reaction.

‘I thought about it’, Stan confused when Emily couldn’t watch him anymore. ‘When Mike called, before he told me that IT hadn’t come back, but he had missed us and he wanted a reunion. Although I’m sure the bastard also wanted us here right now just in case IT did decide to make an appearance.’ Stan let out a wet laugh, and Emily laughed with him.

‘But then I remember small pieces of my friends, and I thought about your mom and you, and I couldn’t do it. Having Mike tell me IT was dead helped a bit too I suppose.’

‘I don’t know about writing any letters, I didn’t think about that now, but I’m sure that the only reason I didn’t write you a letter then,’ Stan took a big gulp, and now Emily was pressed against him she could feel how bad he was trembling. ‘I’m sure the only reason was because I didn’t want to cause you any more pain. I didn’t want you to go to Derry or be put in danger, I didn’t want you to have the same traumas as I did. I’m sorry.’

Emily shook her head, leaning back as she looked her dad up and down. He was alright, he wasn’t dead, and he was right here with her.

‘It’s alright just, don’t ever do that to me again okay?’

Stan smiled sadly but nodded none the less.

‘Scouts honor’, he joked. The losers all laughed too, Richie coming up and patting Stan on the shoulder. He opened his mouth, but Stan’s; ‘don’t you dare say it Tozier’, was quick to interrupt.

Richie laughed, but listened to Stan for once it seemed, as he kept quiet. The losers broke out in chatter amongst themselves again, their attention now finally away from Stan and his daughter.

‘Hey’, Stan said when he deemed it private enough to speak again. ‘I love you, you know that right? I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter, I’m so proud of you.’ Stan kisses Emily on the forehead, immediately after

Beginning a conversation with Bill who was seated next to him, probably to avoid Emily becoming embarrassed. He was an ‘old man’ after all, as Emily had often joked. She looked around the table, Eddie was already pulling her into the conversation he was having with Bev and Ben. Sweet kind Ben who was already throwing a smile her way without her even doing anything to earn it. Just like when they were kids, the accepted Emily into their group as if she had always belonged there. she could see her dad cast her sideway glances, looking out for her.

Emily’s heart swelled with love for all the people she was seeing, and she knew in that moment, that she would be grateful for every single day she would get to spend with all these amazing people, especially her dad.

#stanley uris x daughter #x daughter #stanley uris #stanley uris imagine #My writing #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2 #the losers club imagines #bill denbrough imagines #mike hanlon imagine #ben hanscom #beverly march imagine #richie tozier imagine #eddie imagine

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nighting-gale17 · 5 years

Note

omg I love the wolf story are you thinking about writing more? also i have a fic request if it isn’t to much trouble 😳 I was just thinking about those solider homecoming videos and what if you wrote something based off of that for buddie :D

omg, I'm glad you liked it! I've gotten a surprising amount of people liking that fic? not mad but definitely wasn't expecting such a huge positive response. I will be definitely writing more of it! I've been busy with school, but I've got some free time now I'm hoping to get more writing done!

and I'm so happy you suggested this prompt bc I already had this fic half started and was finally able to finish it, so I hope you like it!!

Buck always enjoyed Christmas, though this year he was finding it a little harder than usual to keep up his Christmas cheer. Eddie’s been deployed for over nine months now, and even though they’ve kept in contact through Skype, it just wasn’t the same. It was their first Christmas together as a couple and Buck couldn’t help but be a little disappointed Eddie wasn’t even going to be here to celebrate it with him and Christopher.

“There you go, sweetheart! Say hi to Santa for me!” Buck said cheerily, handing-off a cup of juice to the little girl eagerly bouncing away to meet Santa. A small tap on his arm caused him to glance down and he grinned when he saw Christopher, bending down to pick him up and pressing a kiss against his cheek. “Hey buddy, how was the visit with Santa?”

“Good.” A wide smile was spread across his face and he’s looked the happiest Buck has seen him in weeks.

“Just good? What’d you ask him for?” Buck asked.

“Can’t tell.” Christopher chastised him and giggled, his eyes sparkling like he had some secret that Buck didn’t know about. “It’s a surprise.”

“Aww, come on, you can’t even tell me?” Buck made an over-exaggerated pouting face, causing Christopher to break into a fit of giggles as he furiously shook his head. Buck gave a giant sigh as he put Christopher back down on the ground. “Fine! Then how about we fill up these empty cups with some juice, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Christopher cheered, already taking off in the direction of the refreshment table.

xxx

“You know, even Santa has a way of making wishes come true.” Bobby murmured, his hand squeezing Buck’s shoulder gently. He was staring at something past Buck’s shoulder with a growing smile on his face.

Buck turned around in confusion to see what he was staring at, not really understanding what he meant. When he did, it felt like someone punched all of the air out of his lungs and he suddenly didn’t know how to breathe. For a second, he swore he was dreaming. Eddie was right there, standing in the middle of the station house in his fatigues with a large smile on his face.

“Dee?” Buck whispered in disbelief, a shaky hand coming up to cover his mouth as tears burned behind his eyes.

“Mi querido.” Eddie said, love, shining in his eyes.

“Oh my God, Eddie!” Buck cried out, his feet suddenly remembering how to move. He flew towards his boyfriend, launching himself at him and wrapping his arms tightly around his neck in a tight hug.

Strong arms held him tightly as he cried against Eddie’s neck, shaking slightly, barley able to believe that he was really here. Eddie was back. Buck pulled back slightly and crushed their lips together, desperate for the contact and the reassurance that he was back. He only stopped when he couldn’t breathe anymore, and he cradled Eddie’s face gently in his hands while he looked at him. “You’re back,” he whispered, echoing his thoughts. “When I hadn’t heard anything from you, I thought—”

Eddie cut him off with a deep kiss, his grip tightening around Buck’s waist. “I’m not going anywhere.” he murmured against his lips after a few seconds.

“You’re back for Christmas.” Buck smiled after they broke from the kiss, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s.

“I’m home for Christmas, baby.” Eddie grinned, his eyes shining with joy.

It wasn’t until then that Buck became aware of the cheering and clapping going on behind them and Buck finally turned around, his arms sliding from Eddie’s neck to around his waist as he stood by his side. The team and everyone else in the firehouse was clapping and cheering, Bobby looking particularly smug and Chimney was grinning ear to ear as he held his phone high in front of him, obviously recording a video.

“Did you guys have something to do with this?” Buck asked, trying to sound stern but unable to keep the smile off of his face.

Bobby just shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Chimney added as he finally lowered his phone.

“Absolutely.” Hen finished, her grin teasing but her eyes were soft.

A soft giggle from behind him caused him to twist his neck and turn around to see Christopher standing right behind them with a large grin on his face. He didn’t seem to be surprised to see Eddie, and Buck narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Did you have something to do with this, buddy?”

“Maybe…” Christopher trailed off into giggles, slowly walking up to them and letting out a yelp of surprise that turned into a laugh when Buck picked him up in his arms and propped him against his side.

“And why’d you do that?” Buck asked, carefully fixing Christopher’s glasses that had been knocked askew on his face.

“Because you’ve been sad,” Christopher said, his eyes wide and sincere. “And I knew if Daddy came back home, you would be not sad.”

“You’re a smart kid, buddy,” Buck said thickly, smiling softly when Christopher seemed satisfied and rested his head against Buck’s shoulder.

Eddie wrapped his arm tighter around Buck’s waist and he kissed his temple, lips lingering for a moment. Buck closed his eyes and leaned into his touch, a small smile resting on his face as a warm feeling blossomed through his chest. It’s been several months since he’s been this happy—with Eddie at his side and Christopher in his arms.

His family was whole again.

#911 #911 fox #911 au #cait chats #evan buckley #buddie #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #they're all so cute #and of course chimney is recording the whole thing #and no #he didnt cry #the entire time at least #homecoming #solider homecoming

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cheekaspbrak · 5 years

Text

Turning Page

Summary: Richie knows that he fucks everything up, which is why courting Eddie is like walking on a tight rope.

Word Count: 1863

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Warnings: Cursing (duh), and mention of homophobia, and hopefully not anything else because i seem to be terrible at warnings lately

This was inspired by Turning Page by Sleeping At Last, so if you listen to it before/after it will make it even better. Please said requests, compliments, or criticisms because it makes me so happy when people read my stuff.

Richie fucked up a lot of things in his life. He’d lost count of the amount of times he’d ruined a perfectly good day by hurting someone’s feelings or doing something stupid. The group even had a way to shut him up when he was going too far: “Beep, beep, Richie.”

He knew perfectly well that he didn’t know when he was crossing lines. He knew that he steam-rolled over people and pissed them off in unimaginable ways and pushed them away with his crude humor. Which was why, when puberty hit and he started to realize that his platonic love for Eddie had turned into something much different, he became softer. He paid careful attention to his buttons and when he could push them and when he couldn’t. Eddie shared his sharp humor but he was sensitive about some things, and Richie wanted so badly to not fuck this up. If there was anything in this world that could shut him up, it was Eddie Kaspbrak.

It took him a long time to figure out. He always loved picking on Eddie by making jokes about his mom and sure, he was always a little more touchy feely with him than everyone else, but that was just what best friends do. Then It came along, and everything started to fall into place. In the worst moments, the ones where he was absolutely terrified, he felt himself gravitating towards Eddie. His hands, his eyes, his heart moved towards him out of terror, but only him. He would have used his whole body as a shield to protect the small, terrified boy next to him.

Then they went into the house on Neibolt Street. He could vividly remember the way he pushed Bev out of the way just to get to Eddie, who was on the ground, cradling his broken arm with his eyes wide as Pennywise crept towards them. The world felt like it stopped when he heard him scream “No, no no no! I don’t want to fucking die, Rich.” In that moment he was incredibly certain that, yes, they were going to die. Eddie tore his eyes away from the clown when Richie forcefully moved his head to look at him.

“Eddie, look at me! Look at me.”

He held his face in between his hands, probably hurting him as he tried twisting his vision back to It. He wanted Eddie to be looking at someone who cared about him when he died. He kept chanting look at me and cupping his cheeks even as the clown moved backwards, into the darkness. Eddie stopped straining to try and see Pennywise and complied with Richie’s chants.

When the dancing clown was no longer a concern Richie started to think about his behavior during all those terrifying times. He thought especially long and hard about how, in the middle of the horror and screaming going on around him, he cared about nothing but making sure Eddie knew he was there for him.

He did some experimenting, then. He held Bill’s hands and hugged Beverly and pinched Mike’s cheeks to see what it felt like, but nothing felt even close to the butterflies that erupted in his stomach when Eddie so much as sat next to him on the couch. He cuddled up next to Ben and Stan and only felt kind of awkward. The affection he once passed off as platonic was starting to seem more like romantic. Richie had always thought dating was stupid and marriage was a recipe for disaster but feeling the hole in his chest when he wasn’t around Eddie made him think that maybe love sometimes… wasn’t stupid.

That was when he realized that he couldn't fuck this up the way he fucked up everything else.

The group definitely noticed how he tiptoed around conversations now. He was still a jokester and just as obnoxious as before, but he was careful when it came to certain things. No one could pinpoint why, though, so they just assumed it was him getting older and finally getting a filter.

From Richie’s point of view, it was like playing a game. A game with really high stakes: if he lost, he lost everything he cared about. He’d already pissed Stan off in the past by pushing something too far, and it took him a long time to be okay with Richie again. But Eddie, he was stone cold, and forgiveness didn’t always come easily to him. He hoped that Eddie cared about him enough to where he wouldn’t push him out of his life forever, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

Then, he fucked everything up.

It was a normal night and everyone was hanging out in the pitch black park. Ben wanted to stargaze and while most of the group had turned their noses up at that, Bev called them all assholes because Ben did things with them that he didn’t particularly enjoy. So, there they were, lying on their backs side by side, stargazing. Richie was in between Eddie and Bev, trying to get them to see the way the stars lined up to look like a really weird dick.

Eddie had been distant all day, like he sometimes was. Richie never knew why, but when Eddie was like this he usually liked Richie’s jokes because they helped him get out of his head. Richie reached for his hand. Eddie didn’t look away from the stars, but hesitated for a moment before slipping his hand into Richie’s. He stared at him for a long time, admiring the way his profile looked and how good that shade of blue looked on him and how dorky he was with his dumb fanny pack on. He shifted and Richie looked away.

“That looks like your mom over there.” He used his other hand to point at a collection of stars.

“There’s no fucking way it looks like my mom.” Eddie rolled his eyes, refusing to look in the direction he was pointing.

“No seriously, I’ve studied Mrs. K’s body enough times to know what it looks like.”

“Gross, Rich.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes and pulled his hand away from Richie’s. Bill laughed at his incessant babbling.

He sensed that Eddie was more annoyed than amused, so he zipped his lips and turned his head to poke fun at his auburn haired friend instead. She giggled at his joke, but Eddie rolled his eyes again with a huff.

“You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“I bet you like it that way.” Richie responded, without missing a beat, and immediately regretted it. What was once mild annoyance turned into pure anger. Eddie sat up and looked down at Richie with disgust.

“Fuck you,” He spat. “You’re such a fucking asshole. Why can’t you just shut up?”

With that, he stood up and stalked off in the direction of a bench near the playground. Everyone sat up to look at him, but Richie turned towards Bev. She could see the desperation in his eyes. She knew that while Eddie was quite the badass, the things people said behind his back- particularly what they said about his sexual orientation- got to him. He hadn’t even come out as gay, and people still treated him like that. Today had been particularly awful when they were getting ready to leave school, with Bowers and his friends relentlessly picking on him, but Richie didn’t know that. She covered his hand with hers.

“It’s okay, go talk to him.”

Richie took off after him, nervously raking his hand through his hair. He approached the small boy sitting criss cross applesauce on the bench. He felt his heart thud at how cute he looked sitting that way.

“Eds, I’m sorry I-“

“Beep fucking beep, Richie.”

“Please,” He said with his voice barely above a whisper. “Just let me talk for a second.”

“That’s the problem!” Eddie exploded, hands flailing about wildly. “You can’t ever shut up! You just talk and talk and talk…”

Eddie continued on his rant but Richie barely could register anything else he was saying. He just shut down because all his brain could think was I fucked up oh god I fucked up he hates me he hates me.

“Eds,” he tried again, but Eddie interrupted.

“Don’t call me that.” He enunciated the last syllable and Richie felt like he was going to cry. He opened his mouth but all the words were stuck deep in his throat. Eddie briefly looked guilty before returning back to angry. Richie took a second to breathe and calm himself down because he needed to fix this.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he started and surprisingly, there was no interruption. “I’m so stupid and I know that I ruin everything with my big mouth. But… but I love you so much Eds- I mean, Eddie. And I am trying so hard not to fuck this up.”

Eddie stared at him for a really long time. The only thing moving was his dark eyes, blinking steadily, until he uncrossed his legs and set his feet on the ground.

“You’re trying to not fuck what up?” He implored

“This.” Richie told him pointedly. He was taking a huge leap and god he hoped he wouldn’t fall on his face. “You’re so perfect and I’m such a goddamn mess but I’ll be damned if I don’t spend every second of the rest of my life trying to become the man who might just barely be good enough to deserve someone like you.”

This time Eddie stood up. His chest was rising and falling like he just ran a marathon and his hands were shaking and Richie briefly thought that maybe he should get his inhaler. Before he could do anything, though, Eddie was pulling on the collar of his shirt and kissing him like it was the only chance he would ever get. Richie was in absolutely shock, his stomach doing flips at how cute he looked with his eyes squeezed shut like that. And he totally knew it was weird to kiss with your eyes open but how could he take his eyes off of a sight like that? He stumbled forward a little when Eddie pulled back, not wanting the kiss to end.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” He said meekly, pausing for a moment, then adding, “Also please don’t stop calling me Eds.”

Richie knew that the adoration in his eyes must have been ridiculous, and probably only made worse by the magnification of his glasses, but he honestly didn’t care. Eddie spaghetti just fucking kissed him.

“I love you I love you Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou,” Richie said as he wrapped his arms around him and shoved his face in the small boys hair. Eddie laughed and pressed his face against his chest.

“I love you too. You have always been good enough.” Richie choked on air at that but stayed perfectly still, not wanting Eddie to see the embarrassing tears of joy in his eyes.

The losers watched the two figures from across the park, cheering amongst each other and rolling their eyes at Bill who claimed he knew all along. No one said a thing when they came back and Eddie laid his head on Richie’s shoulder. They just enjoyed the stars.

#3 fics in 3 days????#what is wrong with me #im having so much fun #reddie #reddie imagine #reddie oneshot #reddie fanfic #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #eddie x richie #richie x eddie

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ace-jug · 5 years

Text

Richie and The Rabbit Hole (3)

Part: (1) (2)

Summary: When everyone goes back to their lives after Pennywise, Richie doesn’t. He stays in Derry and finds a portal that leads back to 1989, only a few months after the loser club “defeated” Pennywise the first time.Using the help of the younger losers, adult Richie goes back in time to fix all the wrong that Pennywise caused when he came back the second time.

Relationship: Richie/Eddie

Rating: M

Current Word Count: 18,213

Read on Archive: x

Chapter 3: Fall Inside the Rabbit Hole Again

As Richie climbs down into the cavern, the rest of the losers follow. It’s damp and the rotting smell only gets worse the closer they get towards the bottom.

"Eddie, I didn't know your mom lived in the sewer," young Richie teases Eddie. "It smells like someone farted and honestly I don't know anyone that could make it smell like this other than the beloved Mrs.K"

"Fuck you Richie, we’re about to fight a killer clown, couldn’t you be a little more serious?" Eddie hisses.

“Nope, that’d be no fun.”

Future Richie ignores himself, trying to concentrate on the task before him. He has to hold his breath halfway down the hole, because young Richie was right, it does smell awful and kind of like shit. It also smells like someone died down there, which doesn’t make the uneasy feeling in the pit of Richie’s stomach go away. He feels like he may have a panic attack, but he holds his breath and tries his best to stay brave, and as he climbs quickly down, it isn’t long until future Richie starts hearing things.

He hears a giggle, clearly Pennywise, and he looks down, making sure the clown wasn’t ready to swallow him whole.

Well, he probably was, but he wasn’t directly underneath him, so that meant something.

He tries to ignore it, but the laughing gets louder, more demonic, and he can hear it, Pennywise’s voice taunting him like the little fucker he is.

He can feel the hatred burning in the clown’s voice. It’s rough, wanting, and desperate. He can almost hear the drool escaping from the monster’s mouth, as he awaits for his food to arrive.

Pennywise probably heard them when they started climbing down. Richie can tell by the fact that this is the first he’s hearing Pennywise and he readies his gun just in case.

Once he’s fully down inside the cavern,he’s immediately greeted by a dancing clown, which he isn’t really surprised by. He’s not entirely in front of him. He’s a couple feet away and he’s smiling. He’s no longer laughing, but he’s drooling, like he’s hungry, which Richie knows he is. He could hear the gurgling of salvia in his voice as he was climbing. It was honestly quite nasty.

Richie glares at him as he watches the pathetic clown dance, quite awfully Richie must add and he notices he’s the only one down there, the rest of the losers are still coming down the hole.

Pennywise doesn’t let all the losers down before he’s lunging in front of future Richie who immediately shoots him, not once, but twice, and three, before he uses the gun as a spacer between Pennywise’s teeth and his face.

He can feel the spit from the monsters mouth on his face and hands come out from his mouth, grabbing towards him, loosely holding the gun, but Richie has seen this before. He pushes back, strong, and tries his best to keep his footing.

Bill comes down shortly after and he doesn’t even hesitate to take his spear, running it through the clown’s face, leaving him to falter back for a second, and soon the rest of the loser’s finally make it out of the hole.

Richie shoots the clown again, right above its eye, which only seems to aggravate it, and the monster doesn’t take long in transforming itself. Spider legs grow from its body in all directions, tearing out from it’s flesh. It’s teeth somehow grow wider too, but it’s still smaller than the spider thing that Richie saw just mere days ago.

For one, there is a lot less room, so the monster didn’t have enough room to fully transform, but Richie can tell it’s weaker and he smiles, because he knows he can do this, they could do this.

“Richie, is that you?” The clown laughs, as it grabs the spear from it’s head. It takes a moment, as the noise of ripping flesh is audible, and part of the clown’s head is cracked. Richie remembers that look better than the others. The clown is fading, IT is dying, and they had barely even started.

“Oh, Richie, you made these poor pathetic losers fall for your lame plan, didn’t you?” The clown says mockingly, letting the spear come out from it’s head with a pop, and letting it drop to the floor. IT then uses its legs to walk up the wall and onto the ceiling.

The losers try to jab it, but to no avail and Richie shoots again. IT smiles wider, teeth baring.

“You can’t kill me, I’m immortal Richie. You’re nothing but a forgotten son, aren’t you Richie?”

“Shut up!” Older Richie yells, shooting him again, and he tries his best to not think of what ‘forgotten son’ means.

“Poor Richie never grew up with a father, did he? Never pays attention to his son. That’s why you’re a faggot, isn’t it Richie?” The clown says and Richie shoots again, don’t let it get to you. Don’t let it get to you. It’s okay.

“Oh, shucks, I just told your secret, didn’t I Richie? You know what happens to boys like you, don’t you Richie?”

He shoots again and the other losers stare, not sure what to do in this moment. Richie doesn’t even think of his ‘secret’, somehow he doesn’t even really care that anyone knows. All he cares about is killing this clown and saving his friends.

“Time to float Richie,” the clown yells, a second mouth coming out of it’s main one, to try and attach itself to Richie.

Older Richie shoots again, once, twice, and just like that he’s already out of bullets. He swore under his breath, as he hits the gun with the palm of his hand, and the mouth only gets closer.

He gulpes, trying to shoot again and again, but nothing works. Luckily, right before the mouth can attach itself to Richie, younger Richie takes his spear and runs it through the flesh that connects the smaller mouth to the clown. "Fuck you asshole!" Younger Richie screams and the mouth yanks, but doesn’t quite reach older Richie, and just as soon as IT came, it’s laughing again and jumping from the ceiling to the floor.

The losers rush out of the way and Stan, along with Mike find themselves running to the wide open cavern.

“Guys, wait,” older Richie yelled, trying to warn them, but it’s too late, they’re already there, and the clown moves, makes itself small enough to fit in the space.

Richie tries to catch up with it, to get it while it’s still small, but to no avail. By the time he reaches the cavern, Pennywise is growing again, and even though he doesn’t get as big as last time, he’s still intimidating

“I’ve been hungry. How’d you know, Richie? It was so nice of you to get me a snack,” Pennywise mocks him and he huffs. He’s not sure how Pennywise knew it was him, but Pennywise seems to know a lot and he tries to not let it phase him.

He looks around for the others, but doesn’t see anyone. He’s the only one currently in the cavern and somehow he feels like maybe he’s the only one not being played with.

....

Beverly tries to breathe, she feels like she’s suffocating, and she’s having a panic attack. The room is quickly flooding with blood and she’s screaming. She’s in that stall again, the one where Greta had taunted her while she was taking a smoke break. The blood is flowing through the bottom and she steps on top of the toilet, trying to get away from the blood, but it’s rushing in fast, it only takes a few seconds for the blood to get halfway up the toilet.

Then out from the blood, her father emerges, covered head to toe, and his sickly yellow teeth come out from behind his smile. “Beverly, my little girl, you look just like your mother,” her father says, putting his hands on her face,and putting his thumb on her lips. He smiles creepily at her and he’s strong, really strong, but she flinches away, kicking him with as much muster as she can, so that he stumbled onto the floor, blood flowing over his body until he's gone, blood moving so fast that it starts to cover her feet. She yells again and Ben hears her.

The walls are inclosing on him and it's rough against his belly. He feels like he’s being squeezed open and he hears laughing. Beverly’s laugh. “I could never like a fat boy! I could never like a fat boy! You’re getting squeezed like a blueberry fat boy! If only you’d given up that chocolate bar, then you wouldn’t die!” She laughs again and Ben tells himself, it’s not real. It’s not real.

He ignores fake Beverly’s laugh for a second and puts his hands over his ears. He feels like he’s probably going to die, which only makes him cry. The walls close in further and it scrapes at his shirt, ripping it, and it goes even far enough to start a small cut so that he starts bleeding. He hisses, trying his best to ignore the pain.

You’ve got to be brave. You’ve got to be brave, Ben continuously thinks, and then he hears it. Beverly is screaming and then he’s pushing. He’s pushing the walls away hard, he has to move, he has to save Beverly.

The walls start to move away, not by much, but enough so that he can climb up. He takes the steps, he tries to breathe and not suffocate. The walls still enclose him, his foot gets stuck, but he lets his shoe fall to the floor, and he can see the opening. He’s almost there.

Then, just like that, he sees Beverly and then he’s grabbing her hand and they land on a thud on the floor. Pennywise is nowhere to be seen.

Ben’s relieved, he can feel breathe, and he's looking at Beverly with admiration in his eyes. He hugs her, holds her tight, letting out a sigh of relief.

Thank god she's alive, he thinks, and when he looks at her, she's smiling at him, and he suddenly feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.

"Your hair is winter fire," he thinks out loud.

"January embers. My heart burns there too," she says, eyes glowing, and she kisses him. It’s short, much like the kiss when Ben saved Beverly from the deadlights, but it was sweet, and Ben can taste her vanilla chapstick.

When they part, Ben is beaming and Beverly mimics him, giving him a reassuring smile. They stare at each other for a moment, before they hear a scream, Stanley’s scream, and then Ben takes Beverly’s hand, so that they’re running to the noise together.

It’s not far from where they’re at and once they get there, they see Judith. The lady that was sucking on Stan’s face mere months ago, that almost killed him and she’s hovering over Stan, Stanley holding up his fence post awkwardly in front of him.

He cowers in fear in front of them, and he closes his eyes for a second, accepting his fate. He knew he was the weakest link. He knew it. He should have never agreed to come down here and now he was going to die; but nothing comes.

He doesn’t feel the breath on his face anymore, so he opens his eyes, seeing Pennywise’s foaming mouth over Beverly, a spear already lodged into its chest.

“I will eat your soul and shit it out Beverly,” Pennywise spits at her, black sludge dripping from it’s lips onto Beverly’s shoes. She’s shaking and Ben is putting an arm in front of her, as to tell Pennywise to back the fuck off.

They stand like that for a moment and Stan doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid. Really afraid and he almost died, but seeing Beverly and Ben in danger like that awakens something in him, so he takes the spear in his hand and lunges it into Pennywise’s back, two spears now sporting through.

It falters and more black sludge drops from it’s mouth, and it burns Ben’s arm.

He takes his arm away in a hurry and swears under his breath as he sees the scar on his arm blister.

Pennywise steps back and away from the three teens, letting its arms grow again, as it transforms itself back into a spider.

.....

Eddie and young Richie hold each other tightly as they look underneath them. The floor is caving in and they’re on a small platform. Eddie is crying and Richie is trying his best to not let his feelings get the best of him. He wants to be brave, he does, and it isn't real, but it feels so real that he can't help but tremble at the sight of the ground beneath him.

Eddie can barely see the bottom, it looks as far as the cliff by the quarry, except this time, there isn’t any water, it’s the strong cavern ground.

Another part of the floor breaks, leaving them both to squeal loudly and Richie is basically carrying Eddie now. He can barely hold on. His feet are slipping and he’s hyperventilating. This isn’t real, this isn’t real.

Another section falls and Richie puts his feet together as close as possible, Eddie is slipping from his grasp and he’s screaming.

“Richie, help me, Richie,” Eddie yelps, trying to hold on to Richie tightly, but the thing is Richie isn’t that strong and yes Eddie is small for his age. He’s smaller than Richie and Richie can hold him up, but the longer it goes on, the harder it is to keep Eddie from falling. He doesn’t have the room to try and reposition themselves. He barely has two feet on the platform.

“Eddie, I’m sorry, I’m trying Eddie, I’m trying.” Richie yells.

He tries to hoist Eddie up again, but it doesn’t work, because he slips, then they’re both falling on the ground.

It’s not as high up as either was believed it to be, but they fall far enough for them to both land on the ground and pass out.

......

Bill looks Georgie in the eye as he shoots him for the second time.

“You really think-k-k I would fall for that again?” Bill says, laughing, then he smirks at Pennywise, who was in front of him now.

“I’m not scared of you. You know that and I think that scares you,” Bill says, taking his spear for the second time and lodging it into the monster’s throat.

Pennywise backs up and out of the basement, trying it’s best to find the energy to move.Then the illusion disappears and Bill sees Pennywise as the spider in the middle of the cavern.

.....

“Mike, help me!” His mother screams, body on fire, as she goes to grab Mike’s hand. Mike walks backwards, and he feels like he might pass out. His mother is clearly looking at him and she’s scared, really scared, and all Mike wants to do is grab her hand, pull her out, but it’s not real, he knows it isn’t.

His mother falls on the floor then, weeping. “Mike, please, I’m dying. Mike, baby, I love you!” She screams and her skin is bubbling, she’s weak, barely moving.

“Mike!” She screams and Mike closes his eyes, tears falling from his eyes, trying his best to stay standing. He feels weak and he hears her yell his name again, so he puts his hands over his ears.

“MIKE! MIKE! MIKE!”

He trembles, hoping for it to end, but it doesn’t. She keeps yelling his name and he falls to his knees.

He’s whimpering, curled into himself, and if it couldn’t get any worse, he hears his dad’s voice too.

“Mike, help us!” He hears and the thoughts rush through again. He misses his parents so much, so much that it kills him, and here he is seeing them again, dying in front of him. He wants so badly to end the pain. He wants them back and he has to remind himself that he couldn’t save them. They were gone. It happened a long time ago and he had to accept that Pennywise was just trying to torment him and yes, it was working.

“Please stop,” he whispers, shaking, and then he hears a chuckle. “I can bring them back,” Pennywise says. “Let him help us,” his mother says and he shakes his head, "he'll bring us back Mike." He lets it torment him for a minute before he can’t take it anymore.

“You’re not my mother,” he says, taking out his gun and piercing her in the head, then he goes over to his dad, whose eyes are piercing and full of fear, but he knows it isn’t real, so even when he hears his dad mutter his name again, he does the same to his father too.

Once he fires into his dad’s head, he turns on his heel, runs away and fast, not looking back, until he’s met with Stanley, Beverly, and Ben.

....

Future Richie feels like he’s lost Pennywise for a second and he keeps on alert as he searches for either him or any of the other losers.

I hope they’re okay, he thinks as he makes his way around the cavern and then he sees it.

It's a door and it's labelled 'scary'. The other two doors that are usually present are not there, which Richie already knows is weird. He takes a moment to look around, deciding whether or not to let himself open the door.

He thinks it's a bad idea, but at curiosity blooms inside his chest, he takes the knob in his hand, and when he opens it, adult Eddie is standing there, chest wound and blood oozing from his mouth. "Richie, I-" he says, blood flowing and dripping onto the ground. Eddie’s skin is bruised and he even has the stab wound on his cheek. Richie leaves the door open, shocked, he doesn't move, and he forgets everything for a moment.

“You’re a faggot, that’s gross,” Eddie says, blood bubbling from his mouth as he talks. “You’re so gross Richie. It’s so gross how obsessed you are with me,” he says, smiling at him, more blood oozing from his mouth.

“You aren’t real,” Richie says after a few seconds, but he doesn’t seem so sure, he asks it more as a question than anything. He doesn’t even take a step back, not yet.

He smirks. “I’m so real that you came all the way back to save me. You’re so pathetic Richie,” Pennywise Eddie says and Richie takes a deep breath, taking a step back, going to close the door, but Eddie holds it open, taking a step out, so Richie takes a step back.

It takes only a few seconds before adult Eddie is shaking violently, black ooze drips from his mouth, similar to 13 year old Eddie popping up from the cushion and Richie stares, eyes wide. Then, Eddie is transforming, first with a clown leg, then an arm, and then Pennywise is looking at him. Richie doesn’t have a weapon, but he still stares at Pennywise in determination, he doesn't back down, because he's not scared. He won't be.

Pennywise doesn’t move for a moment, only stares, till IT opens its mouth wide, and just like that, he’s in the deadlights again.

.....

Bill finds future Richie dangling in the air by an open mouthed Pennywise. He’s unmoving, mouth ajar, and Pennywise’s mouth is shining, it’s bright and Bill shakes his head. He’s not sure what to do. He no longer has his spear and he doesn’t know where any of the other losers are. He looks around, trying to find a weapon, but the best he could do is throw a rock.

So that’s what he does. Doesn’t even think for a second before he throws the rock as hard as he can at the creature and yells “ROCK WAR!”

He doesn’t stop, picking up rock after rock and Ben, Beverly, Stan, and Mike follow suit, throwing rocks from every direction.

One directly hits Pennywise in the throat and the lights stop shining, dropping future Richie to the ground.

IT stalks toward Bill in a blind rage, his spider body growing bigger again, trying to pierce him with his spider legs, but it doesn’t work, Bill moves quickly, and the rocks don’t stop hitting Pennywise.

IT grumbles, looking around as rock after rock hits him all across his spider clown body.

“You’re just a stupid clown!” Stanley yells at him. “Yeah, just a stupid fucking clown!’ Beverly yells, hitting another rock at Pennywise. He shrivels a little, dizzy, and when all hope is lost for our dear old clown, he spots two fainted forms on the ground.

He smirks, trembling towards the two boys who were still asleep, and as he approaches, the clicking of his spider feet awake Eddie. His eyes open and close for a few seconds, fluttering open. He’s dizzy, he has a faint headache, and his body hurts all over.

He grumbles, sitting up lazily, and looking up, he sees a spider clown running, or I guess stumbling towards him. His eyes widen and he goes to stand up, but his legs hurt so bad, that he barely gets himself into the crouching position.

When Pennywise is only a few feet away, he gets himself up in a limp. He’s pretty sure he sprained his ankle and when he’s ready to run or more or less, limp away, he notices Richie lying on the ground next to him,

Fuck.

Eddie looks frantically between the clown and Richie, knowing he didn’t have much time. His friends were still throwing rocks, but soon Bill runs out of rocks, and the rocks thrown by the other four are getting a lot smaller.

They keep yelling at him, calling him names, and Pennywise is growing smaller, but he’s still smirking. Still has the eyes set for murder as he puts Eddie in the deadlights too.

Everyone goes silent for a second, looking frantically for more rocks, and running towards the middle, where the rocks that were thrown before were.

Eddie looks deep into the lights, unable to breathe, and he starts floating up. Lost in the shine so deep and Pennywise stalks closer.

Like fate would decide it, Richie wakes up too, with a dull headache, and he sees Eddie floating in front of him, Pennywise’s light shining on him. Richie doesn’t look, but he pulls on Eddie, trying to get him to come down, as Bill finds one of the spears and throws it at the back of the IT’s head.

IT stumbles and the light stops shining, which leaves Eddie to stop floating and Richie is able to carry him down, laying him down on the ground, trying to wake him up.

He shakes him frantically, which doesn’t work, because the smaller boy doesn’t even move.

Richie looks behind him, he sees that Pennywise is pretty distracted right now, but that doesn't mean for long.

He shakes Eddie again, “come on Eddie!” he yelled, slapping at his face and pushing on his chest, but nothing happens, and he remembers Ben.

When Beverly was in the deadlights, Ben kissed her and she woke up.

This can not be happening, Richie thinks for a moment before sighing.

He decides to first kiss him on the cheek, and then went straight to yelling in Eddie’s ear.

“I FUCKED YOUR MOM! COME ON EDS! YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE ASS!”

Richie waits, hoping that the insulting would somehow get Eddie riled up enough to wake up, like he could hear him. He’s expecting to have to try and kiss him on the lips or possibly bring Beverly over to kiss Eddie.

However, Eddie opens his eyes seconds later, he’s in a daze for the second time in the course of 5 minutes, his head now pounding.

“What?”

“Oh, thank fuck you’re okay,” Richie says, hugging him, and Eddie surprised, takes a few seconds before he wraps his arms around his friend too.

He holds him, holds him because he knows he almost just died, and he’s still here, somehow. Still here with Richie and even though he wants to continue the moment, the reunion is quickly ruined.

Pennywise’s spider leg comes up like a flash and goes to stab the two boys on the ground in the chest.

Eddie rolls with Richie, letting the spider leg crush the rock next to them, and then the leg comes down again, leaving them to roll again.

They scream and Richie is crying, as they dance with the clown. It laughs at them, continuing to try and step on them, until more rocks are thrown again.

“You’re just a bully!” Ben yells, “a fucking stupid bully!” Mike chirps. “A bitch!” Stan yells.

“You’re a clown!” Bill pipes up, throwing another rock, and Pennywise stops. Looking at the five losers in front of him.

“You’re just a stupid clown,” Beverly yells, chucking a rock at the monster too.

They all glare at him, determined and his face starts to wrinkle. He looks worn and when he speaks, he sounds like an elderly chainsmoker.

“You-u-u c-a-n’t defeat me! I’m i-m-mortal. You see, I’ll be-e back! I always come back!” It yells, but it doesn’t seem to be confident, they can all tell it’s scared.

Pennywise scrambles, unsure of what to do, he knows he's about to be met with his demise, and then he sees him. His last chance of survival or even revenge would be something at this point.

“You can’t defeat me! Not without your future boy!” It yells and they all look at him confusingly for a second before they see future Richie, only a few steps away from Pennywise.

Pennywise laughs, even though he’s shriveling, and he takes a few steps back to be next to future Richie, who is still asleep.

“He’ll die! If you don’t let me go he’ll die! HAHAHA. There is no way for you to save him,” Pennywise yells, taking one of his spider legs up, so it would rest on future Richie’s belly.

“He knew he was risking your lives, but he didn’t care! You see! He’s selfish! You’re all just selfish little brats!” IT is talking hysterically now and IT tries it’s best to not falter.

“You know what happens to boys like you, don’t you Richie?” The monster laughs, digging his leg a little further into older Richie’s belly. It hasn’t quite went through to hurt any organs, but he’s bleeding, even if it’s not by much.

The losers stare, unsure of what to do, and when Pennywise laughs again, Eddie screams and tackles the wrinkling clown to the ground.

“You’re just a fucking stupid clown! A clown! You can’t hurt us, you fucking bastard!”

Pennywise fumbles, falling to the ground. He looks like an inflated ball with a clown face, small spider legs on its sides and the other losers pull at them, until he’s nothing but a beating heart in a sack of wrinkled flesh.

Eddie is the first to dive into his chest, not thinking of the germs, or anything, and so do the other losers. Then, with the monsters beating heart in all their small pubescent hands, they rip it apart, till it’s shattered in a million pieces. The clown fades into different pieces and the cavern starts crumbling, rocks falling from the sky.

“We gotta go!” Mike yells, running towards the hole, and so do most of the other losers, until they remember Richie.

Younger Richie, Eddie, and Beverly ran to him, he’s fluttering his eyes open, obviously still recovering from the deadlights and they all tug at him at the same time.

He mumbled, “I’m awake, I'm awake,” but he’s still lying on the ground and he’s heavy. The place is collapsing around them and they need to get him out.

“Get up! Get up!” Beverly yells, as they try to hoist him up again, and that’s when younger Richie takes things into his own hands, he bitch slaps his older self, completely waking the adult up.

“Owe, what the fuck?” Older Richie yells, looking around himself, seeing the crumbling cavern around him.

“What happened?” He asks and the three pull at him again.

“Later. Come on, we have to go,” Beverly yells and yeah, okay, that sounded like a good idea.

He finally gets himself up and he goes to start running, but he sees younger Richie and Eddie behind, grasping onto each other as they tried to walk. It was easy to see that younger Richie was sore and Eddie’s ankle was most definitely sprained.

So, he carried Eddie on his back, and pulled Richie up by his belly. It was honestly kind of awkward and he was too out of shape for this, but luckily both teens were skinny and short.

He lifted Richie as far as he could up so that the boy could start climbing up the hole and he found himself pushing younger Richie, as he climbed with Eddie on his back.

He was exhausted and the grumbling only got worse as they continued to run. Richie’s body felt like it was on fire. He was on hyperdrive as he carried both teens to the well and that’s when he didn’t know what to do.

The rope to climb up the well. How were they supposed to do it?

Young Richie tried first, barely able to move and as he struggled, their surroundings only got worse, and the losers had to pull Richie up by the rope. Same went with Eddie and once older Richie got onto the rope, the sewer water started splashing and he could tell it was caving in, so he grabbed the rope in a hurry, pulling himself so fast, that his old PE teacher would have been proud and carrying both boys in opposite arms, basically falling out the front door, past the fence, and onto the ground.

The whole place collapsed in front of them and okay, maybe in the first timeline trying to carry adult Eddie wouldn’t have worked, because even with two conscious hurt boys, he barely got them out. Literally got out on the skin of his teeth and man, if he used an inhaler, he could really use one right now. He can barely breathe and he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.

“I can’t believe we did it,” Stan said smiling. “We won guys! We’re alive, holy shit!”

“Barely,” young Richie says. “I feel like I've broken every bone in my body,” he says as he weeps on the ground.

“I lost my inhaler down there,” Eddie whispers, taking deep breaths, like maybe he’s about to have an attack.

“Do I need to go to the pharmacy?” Bill asked and Eddie shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t need it. I don’t think I ever did.”

“I lost my shoe,” Ben adds and it’s silent for a second, until Eddie chuckled, and everyone else smiles.

“Oh my god,” adult Richie says, trying to comprehend the situation and calm his breathing. He’s alive. He took his second chance and it worked, or at least that’s the way it seemed. They won and they all lived. Richie had carried almost 200 lbs of boy from down in the cavern and he’s honestly surprised he was able to do it. He’s pretty sure it was pure adrenaline, because now his arms and legs felt like noodles.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked adult Richie and he shook his head, because no he was not okay. He just possibly changed the future and he’s also never been more winded in his life.

“Yeah, I just-” he took a deep breath, “I just need to rest,” another breath “second.”

“Okay,” Mike said, looking at the rest of the losers, who all breathless, smiled at each other.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Beverly said, smiling as she grabbed Bill’s and Ben’s shoulders, hugging their sides.

“Yeah,” Bill said. “We are.”

“You’re not stuttering Bill,” Stan noted and Bill smiled.

“No, I guess not.”

“Okay, I think I can breathe now,” future Richie said with a cough, “but I might need a water before I leave.”

Beverly nodded. “I think we all need water.”

“I’ll get us some,” Ben said. “Just meet back at the club house.”

The losers nodded, but Eddie shook his head, still lying on the ground.

“I can’t, my mom will kill me.”

“You survived the last time, didn’t you?” Older Richie asked, remembering the last time they fought IT and how Eddie had been gone for 24 hours straight. This time he’d only been gone for a few. It wasn’t even quite curfew yet.

Eddie didn’t say anything and younger Richie looked over at him.

“Come on, if you don’t go, then you won’t be able to hear mine and Mrs.K’s wedding story.”

“You’re so gross,” Eddie said, sitting up, and groaning.

“I can get you a brace too, if you want Eddie,” Ben said and Eddie nodded.

“That would be wonderful,” and just like that Ben was gone. The rest of the losers made their way to the club house and it didn’t take long for Ben to arrive with a gallon of water, glasses, and a foot brace.

“I just wanted to say how proud I am of all of you,” older Richie perches up after taking a few sips of water. “You all fought hard down there and we did it, we defeated IT. The same way we did in 27 years, except this time, we all made it, and I couldn’t be happier.”

The losers smile and Beverly brings up her glass.

“Let’s cheers to Richie,” she says, and the other losers put their glasses up to.

“To Richie?”

“To Richie.”

He smiles, taking another sip from his glass. “Thanks guys. You're the best.”

Richie sits for a moment, watches the other losers mingle for a minute, before he realizes he should probably get back.

Except maybe, he should talk to them first, but preferably alone. There was some advice he needed to give before he went.

“Hey, so I think I’m going to go,” older Richie starts, “but I think it might be best to talk to you all first. Alone.”

The losers look at him and nod.

“Alright,” Beverly says, “who first?”

Richie looks around, knowing he wants to talk to himself last, so he points to Bill.

All the losers leave the clubhouse giving them their space and Richie thinks for a second. Wondering what to tell Bill that might help.

He thinks of what to say, because Bill was successful. He had a wife and as far as he was aware, Bill was alright. Well, as alright as he could be with the curse of Pennywise and losing his brother.

There was one thing though. One thing that he felt Bill might need.

"I'm not sure how to say this, but I wanted you to know that Georgie would be proud. So proud of you and even if we couldn't save him. You saved our friends and most of all, you saved me and I could not be more grateful."

Bill nodded, "Thanks Richie. Thanks for everything," he smiles and pulls future Richie in a hug.

The hug is short and sweet, much like the conversation, but future Richie didn’t have that much to offer Bill, but somehow he felt like it still meant a lot to the boy.

...

Richie goes through the rest of the losers. He tells Beverly to understand her worth and that "we accept the love we think we deserve", but she deserves the world and to accept no less than that. He tells Ben it gets better if he keeps fighting. He tells Stanley he's proud of him and that he's strong. Lastly, he tells Mike to get the fuck out of Derry.

Now, he's sitting in a room alone with Eddie who doesn't even let him start before he's asking him a question.

"Do I end up alone?" He asked quietly, nervously fiddling with his fingers.

"No," Richie says, "no, in my timeline you're married."

"Then why did you laugh before?" Eddie asks seriously, looking as if he's about to choke.

"I uh, listen Eddie, it's nothing. I just-, don't marry someone you don't love. Let's leave it at that."

"No, I'm not just going to "leave it at that.” I need to know Rich. Otherwise I'll spend my whole life in fear of being married or just being in a relationship in general. I saved your life back there you know. You owe me an answer, just this one. Who do I get married to in the future and why did you laugh?"

Richie sighed, wondering how far he should take this. I mean, he wasn't even sure if he didn't love Myra or not. He thinks Eddie was leaving Myra, but it was hard to tell. It wasn't something that Eddie really wanted to talk about and even if he was thinking about it. Even if he was probably going to, didn't mean he wouldn't get back with her.

He just wants Eddie to be happy and alive. He's afraid if he tells Eddie its Myra, that he'll ruin Eddie's future. It can't though. Myra was just like his mom, Eddie told him that, and he knows he deserves someone who doesn't treat him like he'll break every second.

Eddie was a lot stronger than he put himself out to be and he needed to be with someone who reminded him of that.

"Well, in my timeline you marry a woman and her name is Myra. She's basically your mom in every way and I'm pretty sure you're unhappy. It seemed like you wanted to leave her. But I don't know. I've also never met her, so I wouldn't completely write her off, but I'd be careful about it. Just don't marry someone you don't love."

Eddie looks down for a second, confused, and not knowing what to say. Richie can’t read his expression and he’s pretty sure he just fucked up Eddie’s marriage, which makes him feel like an asshole.

“I get married.”

“Yes.”

“To..to a woman?” Eddie asks and Richie furrows his brows at him.

“Yes, why do you sound surprised?”

“I don’t know. It feels weird. Knowing I get married. Is she really just like my mother?”

“From the sounds of it, yes. Like I said, I never met her before.”

“We stopped being friends?” Eddie asked and he looks scared. Like maybe he was about to cry.

“Well, yes, but we all forgot each other in my timeline. Once you leave Derry, you forget everything. It was weird. But, once we all came back, it was like nothing had changed. I think now that Pennywise is gone, we won’t forget each other. Something with the curse or whatever.”

Eddie nods, “I really don’t want to lose my friends. I feel like my mom doesn’t understand me and I’m afraid that I’ll never escape her. I’m not even sick, but I still feel like I am sometimes. I’m fragile.”

“Hey,” older Richie says, letting his hand reach out to touch the kids shoulder. “You are not fragile, no matter what they say. You said you saved me, right? You defeated a killer clown and your only a kid. That’s badass.”

Eddie smiles, nodding. “Yeah, it was.”

“You’re braver than you think,” Richie finds himself saying, feeling a thick sense of deja vu.

“Thanks,” Eddie says, letting out a deep breath. “You're my best friend, you know that right?” Eddie says and Richie nods.

“I know.”

He finds himself in a hug with younger Eddie for a second and he can tell that Eddie is tearing up. The tears are wet on his t-shirt and after a few seconds, he’s letting go, and Eddie is walking up the stairs to let younger Richie walk down.

“So, are you here to tell me of all the hot babes I’ll be getting in California or how I become famous and am chased by screaming models?”

“Well, for one, you don’t get chased, ever. You get a lot of people asking for autographs and pictures, but they’re usually kids who are way too young to be listening to you or middle aged men who are definitely not there because they want to bang you.”

“Listening, woah, am I famous rock star?!” Young Richie asks and older Richie shakes his head.

“You’re a horrible singer. Like really bad, you should know that and you can play an instrument mediocre at best.”

“Harsh.”

“Well you asked for it,” older Richie starts, trying to remember what he was meant to say in the first place.

“You only get somewhere with working your ass off. Just because it happened to me, doesn’t mean it happens to you. Me coming back here is changing the future you know.”

“I know, I was just bantering as a self defense mechanism because I’m afraid of having a serious conversation.”

“Wow, is that the first time you admitted that?”

“Well, you should know Dick. You are me.”

“Did you just call me Dick?”

“Yeah, short for Richard, I’m surprised nobody calls me that.”

“Well, people will start calling you that, but not really because of your name,” older Richie starts. “But, anyaways, I just wanted to say that before I go, I think you should be more honest with yourself. There is no need to be afraid.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about. You know, you fall in love with a girl, or I did at least, for a little while.”

Young Richie pauses, older Richie thinks he may of short circuited, but after a few seconds, he speaks.

“What happened?”

“It just didn’t work out. I don’t think I was ever truly in love with her. I think I never really got over everything that happened in Derry, but I sort of forgot about it.”

“You think that it didn’t work out because you were hung up on someone else?”

“Not necessarily. I think that I just, there was something missing. There always was and I think not being honest with myself or anyone else made love really hard for me. Repressing really fucked me up. I regret it.”

Young Richie goes silent. It’s a weird sight and he only nods, he doesn’t say anything.

“I’m not trying to scare you kid. I promise; and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just want you to be happier than I am. I’m 40 and single; and even though you can be happy single. There is nothing wrong with it, but I just think I could be happier. I feel like my life has zoomed by me and even though I’m rich or whatever you wanna call it, I feel like my heart is missing something.”

Young Richie is silent for a second and older Richie can tell he’s thinking. He doesn’t take long before he says, “that was pretty gay.”

Older Richie nods, “yeah, it was.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment and I will highly think about it. I won’t forget this or you or my friends. So, thanks for the advice, and for saving everyone. I honestly didn’t really like myself, but you being here, and being so cool has kind of made me love myself.”

“Wow, I can’t believe that. A 13 year old likes me. I’m a 40 year old dork and you like me.”

“Yeah, well, I am a dork so..... And don’t let anyone know,” he says, going over to his older self and hugging him. It feels nice. He feels like for once in his life, that someone was really caring, listening to Richie. He was scared, but at the same time, he couldn’t feel more ready for the future.

“Alright, that’s enough sap for one day,” older Richie says, letting go of himself, saying one last thing before leaving the club house.

“I believe in you.”

Then, he’s out of the clubhouse, waving at the rest of the losers, who smile as he walks to the library, calls a cab again, and makes his way to Al’s diner.

It’s late and the diner is closed. There are no cars in the parking lot or on the street. Richie doesn’t see a single soul in sight. Richie didn’t plan for that, but he could adapt, and nobody was here so that would make breaking in a little easier.

So, Richie went to the back, broke the lock to the door, let the alarm go off, as he ran to the pantry, and walked inside, praying that when he stepped out, he’d be met with one man show, because he wasn’t about to get arrested.

Luckily when he opened the pantry again, it was light out, and that was the first good sign. He took a sigh of relief, as he rushed out the kitchen, noticing one man show handing a milkshake to a kid. He didn’t even notice that Richie had come out from behind the counter.

That’s when Richie noticed his table, which had his phone and keys. Once he opened his phone, he lost his breath, seeing 4 missed calls from his manager and 2 from Eddie, which were time stamped from today.

He smiled, quickly taking out his phone and called Eddie.

This could not be real, it just couldn’t. It worked? What if Eddie was dead. What if he was just hallucinating, what if-.

“Hello,” Richie hears Eddie say over the receiver and he drops his phone on the ground.

#Reddie #reddie fanfic #it fanfiction

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reddiesetandgo · 6 years

Text

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, @the-feels-are-coming! I’m your Secret Santa for @it-secretsanta-2018! I went with your LGBT+ prompt and I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing it, and I absolutely did NOT cry the whole time. :))

Name: Saying It Is the Hardest Part Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier (Implied Reddie) Words: 1564

“Ouch,” Eddie whispered, pulling his thumb away to look at the damage. No blood, but he had bitten his nail down too far again. He sighed as he looked at all of his nails, bitten down the same way. His nervous habit had never been a real problem just a year and a half ago, just on nights when his mother was particularly difficult or when a big test was coming up.

But the summer of last year had changed that. It changed everything. And Eddie had tried to hide it. He tried to pretend that it wasn’t there. He pretended that he didn’t get a warm feeling in his chest when Bill would take his shirt off to swim at the quarry, or when Mike would lift one of his sheep into his arms like they were light as air, or when Richie would laugh at Eddie’s comebacks. And he definitely tried to hide the fact that the warm feeling grew warmer when it was Richie. Richie was one of his best friends. He didn’t want to ruin that.

So he just kept ignoring it. He would look away or walk away or leave early. But even then the warm feeling would show up during commercials or movies or when one of his classmates would pass him in the halls. Eventually, he couldn’t hide it anymore.

He had cried the night he admitted to himself that he was gay. It had been something Richie had said that night, something that made Eddie’s heart flutter into his throat. He couldn’t remember what he’d said now, but he had wanted so badly to kiss Richie in that moment. He left for home moments later and entertained his mother’s usual prodding questions and concerns before heading off to bed with little want for dinner.

And then he had cried. He had cried until he fell asleep clutching his pillow and curled underneath the comforter. The next morning he had called Bill.

And so here he was. About to tell his best friend that he liked men. He knew, in his heart, that there was nothing he could say to Bill that would make him leave. But he was still terrified. Still nervous. Christmas was two weeks away now. Would this change any of their plans? Would this change everything?

Then he heard a knock at the door. He suddenly felt his heart thumping in his chest and swore Bill would be able to see it pumping through his shirt if he didn’t calm down.

“You can do this,” he told himself. “You can do this.” And he willed himself to believe it.

He stood up from the couch, straightened his sweater, took a deep breath and made his way to the door. He reached out a shaking hand to the handle of the door and pulled it open before he could second guess himself.

“Hiya, spaghetti!”

A cold wind blew into his face and Eddie’s heart shot into his throat, stopping any words from coming. Richie Tozier was standing there in his doorway, hands planted in his pockets and a dark hoodie covering his messy curls.

“Holy shit, it’s cold out here!”

Richie gently pushed past Eddie, making his way inside as he said, “Big Bill is on his way. Told me your mom was waiting for me so I came right over!” He shot Eddie a wink, finger guns blazing as he disappeared into the living room.

Eddie stared after Richie, mouth agape and heart still firmly placed in his throat. This wasn’t the plan. He wasn’t prepared to tell Richie. He hadn’t played out this conversation yet, hadn’t thought of the best way to say it. He hadn’t thought of everything that could go wrong and ways to fix it. He hadn’t thought of the good ways it could go.

Then it seemed like Eddie’s heart lowered back down into his chest but his brain short circuited because he left the door open, calmly walked to his living room, saw Richie lying on the couch with the remote in his hand and said “Bill only.”

Richie didn’t look away from the TV and said “what gov’nah?”

“Bill only. Uh, only Bill was supposed to come today.”

Eddie watched as Richie deflated slightly, eyes going wide for a moment before he looked down to the ground, jumping up from the couch and gingerly tossing the remote back to its place.

‘Wait,’ Eddie said in his head, “wait, this is my friend. This is one of my best friends!’

“Whoops,” Richie said. “I, uh, I thought Bill had given me an invitation. But I guess he was just telling me what he was going to be up to.”

‘Richie, wait,’ he said in his head again. Why couldn’t he say it? He wanted him to stay. He wanted to tell him. No, he didn’t have a plan. But he trusted Richie just as much as he trusted Bill.

He was already walking past Eddie towards the still open front door. “My mistake, sir! I’ll be taking my leave now,” he said in an accent. “Tell your mother we’ll have our rendezvous another day!”

Eddie spun around and ran to the door, grabbing hold of Richie’s wrist. “Wait,” he finally said aloud, pulling him back inside and closing the door. Eddie let go of Richie’s hand quickly, feeling suddenly self-aware of his clammy hands. They looked at each other in silence and Eddie watched as Richie decided what to say and if it should be said by one of his voices. Eddie desperately hoped it was just Richie. He needed just Richie.

Richie placed his hands on his hips, smiling slightly. “It’s okay, you know. It’s okay if you wanted to speak with Bill today. Just Bill. Sometimes I go see Stan the Man on my own.”

Eddie’s face must not have been what Richie was expecting because he took a step towards Eddie, a hand placed shyly on the back of his neck as he stumbled over his words. “I mean, it isn’t like I tell him things I don’t tell you! Well, okay, maybe a few things, but, it isn’t like, um, important things! It’s mostly stupid things. Stan hates it most of the time, you would probably hate it too.”

Eddie thought maybe he should just say it, maybe he should just say it and let it sit between them. Because he wasn’t quite sure what to say to all of that. But when he opened his mouth, a breathy laugh escaped. And then a chuckle. And then Eddie was laughing so hard he was crying and he was doubled over holding onto his stomach and his laughter filled the entirety of the house. He faintly remembered hearing Richie’s laughter meld with his own after a short while, but mostly he just remembered the pleasant burn in his stomach and wondering what was so funny but not being able to stop.

Finally, Eddie began to feel his laughter subside and he wiped away the tears on one side of his face, feeling much better than he had moments ago. Richie was still there, smiling that crooked smile that makes Eddie’s stomach flip and looking a little confused.

Richie reached out and carefully wiped away one stray tear. “I hope I can make you laugh like that again someday.”

Eddie sprang forward and threw his arms around Richie’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Hey, Rich?”

“Yeah, Eds?”

Eddie tightened his grip, but pushed forward, feeling less scared than he had felt in a long time.

“I’m gay.”

Silence.

He felt Richie go rigid and the fear just barely began to scrape at the back of his throat. But then Richie was clutching him closer, hands grabbing fistfuls of Eddie’s shirt and he hummed a happy tone that Eddie could feel in his chest.

“Thank you for telling me, Eddie.”

Eddie didn’t want to pull away, but he felt like he should. He felt like he needed to see Richie’s face, though he was sure of what he would find. He untangled his arms from behind Richie’s neck and Richie let him without any of his usual resistance.

When he saw the soft smile on his face and the kind eyes that Richie so rarely let anyone see, Eddie finally felt like maybe things could be okay. If Richie could accept him, smile at him after it was said, then surely the others would too. Maybe one day he could tell his mom too.

“Thank you for staying, Rich.”

Then Eddie was up in the air, Richie’s lanky arms around his waist and Eddie was laughing again. “As if I’d go, Eddie! You’re stuck with me, as long as you want me.”

He looked down to the smiling boy just below him and smiled back. “Always, Richie.”

KNOCK, KNOCK

They both froze.

“Bill,” Eddie said. Richie gently put him down and squeezed his shoulder. He pulled his hood up and placed his hand on the doorknob. “Are you ready to let him in, Eddie?”

Eddie nodded his head, but as Richie began to pull the door, he grabbed for Richie’s sleeve. “Can you stay? Please?”

Richie pulled his hood back down, nudging Eddie and nodding. “There’s no where else I’d rather be.” And he pulled the door open to a waiting Bill Denbrough.

#Eddie Kaspbrak #Richie Tozier #Reddie #It Secret Santa #IT Secret Santa 2018

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