#and i think it's funny to act like it's a pretentious The World Rests On My Shoulders thing

[wilblargh]

srry guys but the world revolves around me and if i don't tap the microwave after failing to stop it at 2 seconds then many people are gonna die in a bad car collision. i have a duty to uphold

[nayatarot777]

a love letter from you to you 💓

i’d appreciate if you check out my patreon! thank you sm for taking the time to take interest in my readings ☺️💓

• pile one •

‘you’re so intelligent. so focused and direct with how you manage your life. the way that you perceive the world is clear-sighted and knowledgable. some people may say that you’re ‘too cold’ or ‘too cutthroat’ but i believe that they just don’t see the value of your mind. of your insight and the ability to curate foresight. i admire how you can always see how somethings going to work out. or how something’s going to end based on probabilities and information that you’ve collected about said thing or person. i admire how you use your voice and your mind as a weapon that others don’t want to mess with. and i love how you have a strong sense of morality that you stick to. i feel pride whenever you speak up for the sake of implementing justice. whenever you defend yourself or another. it takes a certain type of brave person to do that, and there doesn’t seem to be many around you. to stand on your own for the sake of honouring your sense of right or wrong is an extremely strong thing to do. you’re not a follower like the rest. you’re not someone who prioritises fitting into a group of people in society who most of the time don’t even like nor respect themselves. you’ll always be seen as a threat because of this, but it’s one of my favourite aspects about your personality. your mind is a unique one.’

• pile two •

‘my favourite things about you are your boundaries. it shows that you care for yourself. you respect yourself and your limits. you’re aware of what you can and can’t take and ensure to protect yourself from breaking point. you’ve had to constantly defend yourself from people who turned on you. from people who acted like they had your back. but once they showed their true face, you had no problem with putting up barriers between you and them. you don’t fuck around with yourself. i love it. as well as your determination to do whatever you feel like you need to do to protect yourself despite everyone else’s opinions that may disagree with what you do. i love how you’re your own priority. you don’t wait on anyone else to prioritise you for you. you’re your own defender. your own protector. and once you decide to slam those boundaries in place, you don’t budge from them. you’re a person of your word. you keep promises to yourself. loyalty to yourself. and i respect that.’

• pile three •

‘you’re always balancing the scales. keeping the score and making sure that both positive and negative karma comes to those who deserve either. some people think that you’re being pretentious, because they don’t know what it’s like to have a strong sense of justice. a strong understanding of what’s right and wrong to do to another human being. a lot of these people do understand - but they don’t care. i find it so funny when they miraculously start caring once they come across you though. you’re literally walking karma. you speak nothing but the truth - unbiased and fair towards people. regardless of how people get triggered by this. you’re a peacemaker at heart, and you just want to make sure that energies in your life stay in balance. you have such a balanced mind yourself. the way that you can view someone who you might not be so fond of in the most accurate way possible. no biases. if someone deserves props, you’ll give it to them - regardless of how you feel about them personally. and the same applies to when people need to be held accountable for their bullshit. you’re genuine. not controlled by your ego but in control of your ego instead. you’re too mature for a lot of people around you, but that’s not your problem. you always do what you feel is right. and in a world like this, i admire your persistence at this.’

[akookminsupporter]

What is your absolute most favourite trait/quality about each member? And if you feel comfortable answering, what is one area of improvement/constructive feedback that you would give to each member?

This is quite an interesting question.

I don't know if my answers are what you expected but this is what I thought when I read what you asked.

trait/quality

Namjoon: how nerdy he can be. I love that he seems to prefer books to parties, long conversations about interesting things, which many may find boring.

Jin: how confident he is even, especially when he doesn't feel it. Or believes it.

Yoongi: how detached he seems to be from everything. How he lives in the moment as it is, without worrying about much.

Hobi: how selfless he is. That he always seems to think about the happiness of others and how he can contribute to it.

Jimin: As with Hobi, I love how selfless he is. That he literally puts the happiness and comfort of others before his own.

Taehyung: I don't know if you can consider it a quality, but I love how innocent he seems to be sometimes.

Jungkook: That he is always ready to help. His willingness to always help anyone who needs it.

one area of improvement/constructive feedback

Namjoon: I think he should stop trying to be perfect. And I think this is something he sometimes does unconsciously. Another constructive feedback I can give him is that he doesn't have to pretend sometimes that he likes something or that he thinks something is funny or interesting but, if he keeps doing it, he should improve his facial gestures.

Jin: with Jin, it's a bit difficult. I don't think he's perfect or that I don't think he should improve something in him, but I think he's very aware of his "imperfections" and he doesn't care.

Yoongi: To stop pretending to be so uninterested. Looking aloof isn't always a good thing and I think that's contributed to a lot of people's misconceptions of him.

Hobi: I don't know if it's something he needs to improve on or if it's a criticism or just something that I think happens, but I'd like Hobi to know that it's okay to be sad, it's okay to not be happy all the time.

Jimin: He needs to learn to be more selfish. That's an area I'd love him to improve on, oddly enough. I think Jimin is a person who knows what he wants and how to get it, but he's also willing to sacrifice it for the sake of someone else and while that's admirable, sometimes putting yourself first before the rest of the world is good from time to time too. 

Taehyung: I feel that sometimes he can be a bit pretentious without caring much about the opinion of those around him? I don't want to call him selfish but he can get very... act like a spoilt child and I feel sometimes that's not fair to others.

Jungkook: Jungkook can sometimes be so interested in something that he doesn't seem to be interested in it at the end. I don't know if that makes sense. In a way, he reminds me of Yoongi.

[mirobami]

Heya!

Could you do sayaka with four of a kind and hearts for the event? :D

↳ source fours and fan wars

♠️ CHARACTER: s. igarashi

♠️ MATCH: Hearts (Enemies to Lovers) + Four of a Kind (Actors!AU)

♠️ NOTE: OMG YOU’RE HERE HI SAY LESS I WAS EXCITED ABOUT DOING THIS

“You’re annoying.”

“And you’re pretentious.”

This rivalry between you and Sayaka was not healthy for either of you. You were a famous actress, but Sayaka had recently gotten into the mainstream news with her recent film. She had become a popular actress, but for some reason, you clashed heads in this new movie you were working on. The worst part was that she was your love interest. The crew and the rest of the cast had to endure the both of you bickering with each other, leading to the director losing her mind and telling you to go and walk it off with each other, not separately.

As much as you wanted to curse your director out in your head, you could not and would not. You may have been in multiple films but Sayaka was brand new to this world. Even then, you couldn’t find an ounce of pity in you. She had called you annoying when you first met, due to your experience. All you did was talk to a crew member that worked on one of your favorite horror films that you participated in. Afterwards, you glowered at her constantly. It was funny on social media too because it seemed as though everyone in the world knew about you two. There were even fics about enemies to lovers between the both of you, not that you read them. 

“You think you’re so great just because you’ve been in a bunch of movies and you’re famous.” Sayaka looked especially irked, sitting across from you.

Rolling your eyes, you leaned forward, your hands on your knees. “See, here’s the thing, I don’t need my movies to know how successful I am. I walk in the door and I already get a job offer. I don’t like you because you’re so pretentious. Get real.”

“I don’t need multiple films to know the art of acting.” Sayaka closed her eyes, sighing. “The director will fire us both if we keep this up. For the sake of the most dreaded scene, we have to get along.”

“What, the kiss scene? I have done it multiple times with costars before, I don’t think I’ll have any problem now, I’m a professional.” You crossed your arms. “Anything else?”

“How do you do a kiss scene properly?”

You blinked, noticing the pink blush across her cheeks. You forgot that her movie was the first one she had ever done and she didn’t need to do a kiss scene. “Wait. You haven’t been kissed before?”

“On camera, at least.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“You don’t get it.”

Sighing, you stood up to go over to her, holding her cheeks in your hands. Her eyes were wide as she watched you. “What are you doing?” But she didn’t push you away, she grabbed your wrists as though she was begging for you to continue so that she could see what you would do.

“I’m teaching you.” Pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, you let go of her cheeks but she was holding your hands shakily. She was extremely nervous, yet it seemed as though those feelings were the ones she was holding back. Maybe it was better that you had at least one kiss outside of the camera or she would’ve fallen from fear. It was sweet, the way that she held onto you before you let go of her. “You definitely had some pent up feelings.”

“I-I didn’t!” But her red face said otherwise. “But thank you. I won’t get nervous on camera.”

“No, you will, you’re redder than a tomato right now. Or maybe a cherry.”

“Hey!”

You kept teasing her as you left, her following after you with complaints. Maybe you still enjoyed the rivalry but something definitely changed between the both of you that you wouldn’t show yet.

[ziracona]

Your're spot on. They're so holier than thou that they legitimitely think that in they would NEVER commit a violent act in that situation despite never having been in such a desperate situation. The funny thing is that they're no better than you or I even if they love to act like they're above it all.

Yeah! It’s not even a ‘we all make bad decisions’ it’s a ‘genuinely some times you have to do extreme things for good’. It’s the Deacon St John “Alright, you know what? You might not like it, but the world is what it is. Yeah, it is. Prayin ain’t gonna change that. Wishing that it was something else? Ain’t gonna make it that way!” - Clementine “It takes more than words! You can’t just talk people into being peaceful. You think I don’t want a life like that for AJ? For myself? God, I’d love to live in a world where I didn't have to worry about killing or dying, but that’s just not how things fucking work!” It’s absolutely true that under any kind of pressure, people who’ve never actually had to practice making hard choices will not be saints and will in fact routinely handle it worse, but it’s also true that inaction can be just as bad or worse than action. Ignoring that, and worse, judging or hurting others for their understanding the world /does/ require action, and sometimes extreme or unpleasant action, is a vile thing that in turn actually causes a lot of harm.

They’re not just wrong about what they do and would do, they’re wrong about how the world works on a fundamental level, and hypocritical and pretentious about it. Sneering at someone who’s lived in life or death struggle making choices you’ve never even had to think about isn’t just not your place, it turns you into one of the aggressors they’re pushing back against. If you’re calmly sitting at a table watching someone on the floor getting the shit beat out of them every night, snacking on pretzels while you tell them they should try to understand the emotions of the person slowly killing them, or reason with them, or that even if this is extreme, you can understand why the aggressor is mad and maybe if you didn’t piss them off, or hid the behavior they don’t like better, or acted better, they’d quit beating the shit out of you? You’re not an innocent third party or a mediator. You’ve chosen a side, and it’s the aggressor. You’re an enabler. Your inaction when you should act immediately shows passive support, and your blaming and placing the weight of change on the victim even in extremes shows how deeply and commits you to chasing harm side by side with them. You support the aggressor. Sometimes, there can be no middle ground, and trying to stand between someone trying to destroy the lives of others just because they exist, and people fighting back to survive, to suggest they should reach a common ground between those two points, or that hitting back when you’re hit makes you just as bad as your attacker, and it’s better to suffer, even if you’ve got some genius plan to cut out half the suffering so it’s only half the abuse? That makes you one of the people demanding oppression be accepted and submitted to. You just feel self-righteous about it. And suggesting there’s some secret pacifist way to talk someone who wants you dead into letting you live your dream life? That still makes you a staunch supporter of the agenda of the aggressor, because you’re still a person standing against anyone standing up to them; you’re just an utterly delusional one.

People are so quick to justify their own actions, and so insanely unwilling to even consider maybe they can’t be the supreme understander of what’s right when it comes go people reacting to a lifetime of pain and aggression and fear they have no idea what it feels like to live under the pressure and choices of every day of their life, and they have no right to police every decision made by people who have to live with the consequences for them and theirs of action and inaction both, for every waking minute for the rest of their time on this planet.

[lem-cup-rev]

⭐️👧 (2020)

🐀🐀🐀🐀

-Spoilers-

Okay I kind of love this movie. But not on its own terms. I have the strong sense it wants me to buy into something pretentious and wondrous. But I’m just here for a strange, surreal drama.

I knew we were off to the freaking races in the first scene where our boy is gobsmacked by the apparition of a colorful Oz girl in his grey Kansas world. It’s pretty commendable for a director to convey lots of information in a short time, and this must be the speedrun record for establishing a Manic Pixie. The rest of the first act retained the feeling that ⭐️👧 is a creature under glass and it’s not really weird to stare at her or follow her around cause why wouldn’t you be in awe of her? There were so many amazingly uncomfortable scenes where we just zoom way in on her being all gentle and innocent and singing and hold for a really long time, and it feels like the camera wants to make out with her so bad.

The funny thing is, yeah, her charm works on me! If a woman like that was in any other movie, I would have a crush on her in an instant. But I think when all the other characters are enamored with her like she’s a character in a movie, it feels remarkably weird!

So all that was basically a blast in the bad movie way. Also, her song is horrifically catchy. Also, the initial story with Leo and his tie was really sweet and genuinely compelling!

Let’s talk about my favorite character in the movie. My favorite character is the short-haired girl who seems to be ⭐️👧’s first friend at the school, who we constantly see with her, who is never acknowledged or speaks. She looks like a lesbian and I love the idea of her being ⭐️👧’s bestie. Who are you, background girl?

The idea of ⭐️👧 single-handedly making the whole school care about life again and become winners is so funny. She is the rain that woke the mud frogs from their slumber!! Although speaking of, I think the boring, awkward townwide depression was portrayed really strongly, it had a striking touch of realism. I think the conceit of ⭐️👧’s performances relies on a kind of movie magic that makes us believe the music is intimate and exciting in a way it would not be all the way from the bleachers. We slip into a kind of music video mode – seemingly more so every time – and the overall effect is kind of amazingly surreal. I liked imagining it was a horror movie where a girl-shaped being is using psychedelic mind-altering magic to control a town. Initially it feels like a blessing as everyone is excited and happy about life, but it’s in an eerily fake wrong-feeling way, and it's only a matter of time before the other shoe drops…

When everyone turns on ⭐️👧 is when I knew this movie was special. So, do I really not understand football culture, or is it insane for people to hate her for comforting the injured opponent? I couldn’t believe it for an instant. But that just told me this story completely operates by its own rules, and the emotional drama within that strange world is awesome. Hillary’s assassination of ⭐️👧’s character was pretty unreasonable, I think she’s pretty clearly about as genuinely selfless as a person can be, but that scene was still so exciting. And then when she got normified and Leo was all for it, it was amazingly uncomfortable and like a horror movie in the complete opposite way from before! How could you, you mild and unassuming boy? Thank goodness she turned back at the competition thing. I like that her speech kind of wasn’t directly about anything in the movie? Or at least I didn’t see the connection? She wasn’t stating the main themes, it was like the character was just genuinely sharing some stuff on her mind that she thought was deep.

At this time I’m just going to throw something out there. If anyone, a cute and quirky girl perhaps, wants to request my favorite song of a live band and then peer pressure me into going onstage to sing it with them… I wouldn’t mind. Just saying.

I was so caught off guard when ⭐️👧 disappeared again at the end!! It really kind of makes her less of a starring character and more of a Jesus figure for this town. She moved on when her work was complete. Bye, I guess!

Oh yeah, and the mom stole all the scenes she was in, as moms frequently do. Her performance was so natural and charming. It just made me go ‘wow, yep there’s just a real actual mom in here!’

I had forgotten there was a sequel!! I can only dare to hope it will do for Manic Pixies what Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure did for evil rich girls. I can’t freaking wait.

Tune in next time for ⭐️👧… IN HOLLYWOOD!

(Will she, perhaps, echo the story of Grace VanderWaal’s iconic 2021 bop in learning that she shouldn’t assume what she doesn’t know when it comes to the alluring yet manipulative world of showbiz??)

[morizoras-cave]

Weird (Request)

MCU Cast x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: Hello ❤💓could i please request a x teen reader were she has a really quirky and bubbly personality and the cast loves it but she starts getting bullied at school for it and shes acting shy and doesnt talk anymore and there all concerned.⚘💓❤😘

Warnings: bullying, general sadness, insecurity

(A/N): decided to do this request with chris evans, anthony mackie, sebastian stan, scarlett johansson, and elizabeth olsen (as i have previously stated, fitting the entire cast into it is impossible, so i usually have to pick). i hope this doesnt affect the requesters enjoyment of it :)

“I’m considering picking up some lye,” you said bluntly. Everyone that had attended Chris’ I’m-sorry-I-forgot-I-was-hosting-dinner dinner looked up from their Chinese takeout boxes. 

“Like, the chemical lye?” Anthony asked, picking at a piece of chicken with his chopsticks. You hummed and nodded, doing the same. 

“Why?” Sebastian asked.

“I’m considering getting into the soap making business,” you said, “there’s some real money in that market.” 

“Really?” Scarlett said, chuckling along with everyone else at the horrible, scrambling-to-even-be-called-a-dinner dinner. 

“Don’t laugh, guys. You might be seeing my custom soaps in The Body Shop soon,” you joked and once more everyone laughed, shaking their heads. 

“Good luck with that,” Elizabeth said.

“Thank you, I’ll need it, seeing as lye is apparently very fun to eat and also very toxic,” you sipped your coke, bubbles long gone, leaving the sticky and sweet juice behind. 

It was like that every time you were around. You always had something strange you had been pondering about, wether it was soap-making, a career in shipwreck exploration, or investing in a live action Thomas the Train movie. Every single time the cast was with you, they were waiting for the next weird thing to come from your mouth and they were never disappointed. 

You were a lovely, outgoing, yet casually blunt young person, and you were simply wonderful to be around. Like a breath of fresh air each time they were around you. Refreshingly happy. 

And you loved being weird. You loved being yourself, even if you were a bit of an outsider. Not in the sense that you were better than anyone else, you were just slightly different. You always felt there was nothing wrong with that. 

Well, you did. Then things changed. Your schedule working with the movie was lined up, so you had at least two days a week in regular school, often more. You were happy, because it meant you weren’t sacrificing your education to be in a movie. 

Then these girls started bothering you. You could always tell that they didn’t exactly like you, which you actually understood. You always knew that you could easily come off as pretentious and snobby when someone didn’t know you, especially seeing as you were a ‘quirky’ movie star.

But then they started talking to your friends. Which was fine. But then when you tried to speak to your friends, everything changed. Those girls were practically bristling at your presence, your friends included. 

But you didn’t let that bother you. You still had plenty of friends on set, as you considered all of your cast members to be your friends. And they considered you a friend as well. 

But then those girls at school decided that they weren’t done. First, they said things that were very obviously about you, but were disguised as something else. And they’d always make sure you’d hear. 

“I think I’d like to be an actor,” one of the girls had said. They had been sitting on a bench a little bit away from your locker, where you were cramming a physics book in. 

“Oh my god, Lacey, you’re so quirky and weird!” another one had said, and your mood had crumbled, realizing they were making fun of you. You had just closed your locker and left, but you had still heard their giggles at your obviously upset state.

Then they just started blatantly making fun of you, saying you were ugly and untalented, but what hurt you most was when they said you had an annoying, attention-seeking personality. 

You started questioning things about yourself that you never questioned. Were you attention-seeking? Was your personality annoying? Were you even a good actor? 

You would tell your friends, but they didn’t seem to like you anymore, and with your new insecurity about your personality, you even wondered if the cast really liked you, or if they just found you annoying like everyone else. 

So you told no one, and you decided, determined, that you would be less annoying and more quiet. 

“Hey, Y/n! You’re here!�� Sebastian exclaimed, as you entered Elizabeth’s rented flat. He was holding a drink in one of his hands and ran to hug you at the door. You hugged back gently. 

“Are you ready for an actually prepared dinner this time?” Elizabeth said slyly, smirking at Chris, who had definitely heard enough about that one time he forgot to plan the dinner.

“Ha ha, very funny, Liz,” he said. You watched them in amusement, holding back multiple snarky comments. 

Sebastian, Elizabeth, and Chris had all turned to you, and it took you a moment to realize they were expecting you to say something. There was an awkward moment where just watched them, before they snapped out of it, coughing and shuffling uncomfortably. 

“Uh, anyway, table’s this way!” Elizabeth guided you all to the large table. Anthony and Scarlett were already there, mid-conversation and bobbing their heads to ‘Anaconda’ played from Elizabeth’s stereo. 

“Y/n’s here!” Scarlett said excitedly and you sat down sheepishly. 

“Yep.”

You watched everyone around the table exchange glances, before all eyes landed back on you. 

“Are you okay?” Chris asked carefully. He was sitting next to you.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, fiddling with your napkin, “just a little stressed about school.” You forced a smile. 

“.. Alright,” Anthony said said reluctantly. There was a moment of silence, because if you weren’t happy, there had to be something seriously wrong with the world. 

“Uh, I think the chicken’s ready,” Elizabeth said, changing the subject. Everyone mumbled in relief. 

The night went on and everyone had conversations and small laughs as they ate, but it was very clear that something was off. Scarlett tried bringing you into the conversations several times, but you immediately clammed up.

It was becoming increasingly clear to the cast, that it was obviously not stress from school (which none of them bought anyway). You noticed the awkwardness too, contemplating if you were being too much of a downer. They would probably have a better time if you didn’t drag them down, you thought. 

“I should go,” you said suddenly, making their heads snap towards you. You forked your untouched chicken. 

“Why?” Sebastian asked, as you stood up and grabbed your jacket. You stilled.

You were conflicted in that moment, wondering wether to confess to them or suck it up and go home. You just didn’t know how to be less of a bother. 

“Don’t lie,” Scarlett said, noticing your conflicted state. You frowned. 

“Am I.. Annoying?” you whispered. There was a moment of silence.

“What?” Chris exclaimed, baffled. You looked up at them. 

“Am I- Am I weird? Because if so, I-I can just go home-” 

There came a choir of whats and nos, and outrage from the table. Everyone spoke over one another for a moment, desperately trying to let you know as clearly as possible.

“Hey!” Anthony’s booming voice shut the rest of the guests up. He looked you in the eyes, “None of us think or have ever thought that you were annoying. And for your information, you’re only weird in a good way. Now, would you mind telling us why you suddenly think this?”

He was calm in a way the public never saw him. Dropping the silliness and handling the situation. It was quiet then.

You felt horribly sad, as you thought about those girls at school. You sighed and blinked away tears. Your cast members’ faces grew even more worried at this. 

“Come on, N/n. Sit down again and let’s talk about this,” Elizabeth said gently, patting your chair. You nodded hesitantly, and sat down. You fiddled with your napkin self-consciously. They waited for you to speak.

“Well.. There are these girls at my school. I don’t know- They just.. Started making fun of me, I guess,” you mumbled, ashamed and avoiding their gazes.

“They said you were annoying?” Chris asked.

You nodded. Sighs could be heard around the table. If you had dared look up, you’d have seen several clenched jaws and fists, displeased faces, and frowns. 

“Have you told anyone?” Sebastian then asked.

You shook your head. You felt someone grasp your hand and looked up to see Sebastian, sitting across from you, holding your hand gently. He smiled sympathetically. 

“First of all, Y/n, you’re not at all annoying. You’re the type of person anyone can love, you’re so refreshing to be around, and you always have something funny to say,” Scarlett begun after a moment of silence. You smiled softly. 

“Secondly, this is something you need to tell the principle, and I don’t want to hear anything about how you don’t want to confront them or anything. You shouldn’t tolerate that,” her voice was tough and determined. You knew she was right, so you nodded. 

There was a moment of silence.

“So.. Have you discovered anything strange you want to share with us?” Anthony asked then. A large, toothy smile enveloped your face, as you remembered that there was, in fact, something you had been excited to share with them. 

“Yeah, so, uhm.. I’ve been playing this game..” 

And with that, everything was back to normal. You entertained them like you always did with your bright and bubbly personality, and you felt confident and happy again. 

It would take you a lot longer than just that night, to fully understand why you were amazing and exactly why you weren’t annoying, but the most important thing was that you were happy and confident right then and there. 

You called the principle, of course, and those girls were expelled. Your friends apologized for their behavior, but you decided not to be friends with them again, not with the way they treated you. You weren’t mean about it, just got some better, more sincere friends. 

Although, you were grateful for friends you had had in that time. Your cast mates started complimenting you more, just slightly here and there. And if any interviewer or fan commented on your personality, the cast would get incredibly protective very fast. 

They knew that your personality was an easy place for people to pick on you, and they just wanted to make sure, that you knew you were a lovely human being. And with how much they reminded you, it got hard to forget. But that’s only a good thing, because you really are a good person :)

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun​ @deephideoutmilkshake​ @rae-is-typing​ @sophs-library​ @herecomesthewriterwitch​

[cjracingpnf]

Day Five, Part 4: IMO the Most Improved Character Development in AYA

As we begin today's part of the mini-series, you may be able to see from the image above who in my opinion has the most improved character development in "Act Your Age". Because of this, I need to give a short background into what my thoughts about Buford Van Stomm were in the majority of the series to better understand how they changed once I watched AYA…

-----------

There are a few different parts that we could talk about with Buford's character in Phineas & Ferb, but to save time I'm only going to mention 2-3 really quickly to give you a general idea of my thoughts about him.

--- My primary thoughts about Buford doesn't have so much to do with his character personality, but rather a disdain that I have for the comedic bullying trope in general. P&F as a show isn't the first, nor will it be the last, to try to turn bullying into something more light hearted and/or comedic, but it just isn't for me. I felt too many times that there were moments of Buford bullying Baljeet that felt unnecessary, not very funny, and didn't add anything meaningful to the episode. While ultimately the Buford/Baljeet thread throughout the show did lead to some very positive and comedic moments, like in "Bully Bromance Breakup", I still don't think the positives and the comedy outweighs the possible negative connotation that is the very real problem of bullying/mocking of others in school systems around the world.

--- My secondary thoughts about Buford do go more into his character personality in the show, which did have a general rudeness/toughness about him that attributed to his bully persona. We also know from "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" that he was likely bullied himself as a young child, and it took him nearly losing his fish friend Biff to a bully for him to "do what had to be done", and from then on out he himself became the bully. In addition, while this was left unmentioned in the show, there are those including myself who believe that Buford in general didn't have the best of family upbringings, which likely played a part in the toughness his character has.

However, for all the negatives, there are also several positive traits about Buford that would slip out from time to time, particularly as the series goes along. He was loyal and protective of his friends, to the point of even putting his body on the line as we saw in "Night of the Living Pharmacists". He understands the emotions of love, to the point of learning French for the sole purpose of being able to talk to a girl he fell in love with on a past trip to France (Buford Confidential). And despite the times where he would make fun of or doubt the ideas Phineas had, at the end of the day he was supportive and having fun with the rest of the gang, and helped reach the goals set (which is particularly present in "Summer Belongs to You!").

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Which brings us to Buford's character development in Act Your Age, and here is where I am so excited to mention some things today that really stand out to me about how him in the episode.

--- Right off the bat, his character design diffierence stands out. Gone is the stocky, overweight, skull-shirt wearing kid with the flat cut on his noggin, in comes a trimmed up, tall, well dressed young man with a cool wavy haircut (and does he have a ponytail?). If you were to tell me that he played sports in High School I would not be surprised. I know that some people don't like his character design in AYA because of how different it is, however when you combine his change in demeanor and attitude with how he looks, I am personally a big fan.

--- Speaking of his change in demeanor and attitude, that was the next biggest thing that stood out to me. AYA Buford is significantly calmer, more relaxed, and looks and sounds like someone who has found a purpose in life. The best example of this comes in his responses to Baljeet calling his future plans for film school "pretentious", to which Buford deadpans replies with a "Thank you".🤣🤣🤣

I personally find Buford's changes in AYA, both physically and in his personality, to be extremely cool to see, and taking it from an "overly-realistic" point of view, to be able to go through whatever struggles he had early on in his life, come through his bullying phase, and turn into a young man that looks to be in control of what he wants to do with his future, is in a way quite inspirational.

--- One other small point I want to want to mention here at the end of today's mini-series post, is that even though he originally didn't want to wear the Cupid costume that Baljeet produced from behind his back in the kitchen scene, at the end when Phineas and Isabella are united we see Buford having it on. It goes to show that even though he was likely quite embarrassed from when he wore it during his childhood, he in the end was willing to go through that embarrassment again if it meant helping two of his best friends finally get together. I personally think that was a really cool (although yes quite embarrassing and funny) thing to see.

While Buford's character in Act Your Age wasn't perfect (he inexplicably joined in with Baljeet to tell Phineas about Isabella's huge crush on him, please read my post from yesterday if you want to hear my full thoughts on that🙄), the positive changes in his life and in his character were things that I greatly appreciated, and turned him from a character I personally didn't care for much in the show, to be someone I could kind of relate to in a way, and was a major bright spot in AYA, without a doubt.

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Thank you so much for reading! Today was a lot of fun, and tomorrow we are gonna have another awesome subject to talk about, going through one of the greatest songs the makers of Phineas & Ferb ever created🧡💗, and that's saying A LOT considering the extensive list of awesome songs produced.

Until then, God Bless, and Carpe Diem!

[kyberphilosopher]

ᴊᴀʏᴜꜱ

Following the retaking of Trost, Eren has an interaction with an undefined relation, leading to the resurfacing of the memory. 

Word Count: 1564

Jayus- (n.) a joke so poorly told and anti-comedic you can’t help but to laugh. 

You really had thought he had died. 

In defense of yourself, most people had. It wasn’t as if Eren had made any particular effort to keep in contact. Not that you were blaming him. You probably wouldn’t have either, if it were anybody else. 

You used to see Eren around Shiganshina. Armin and Mikasa were never too far behind, and so you saw at an early age that he was simply the leader of the pack. Admirable, if not for the hard headedness that came with it. Eren seemed to lead in that area as well. 

You didn’t talk to him before that. Saw him, noted him- but never spoke. It wasn’t until you’d joined the cadets of the same class that interactions actually involved communication. 

First, you hung around Ymir and Krista silently. Krista introduced you to Sasha and Connie, who called you to sit over with the rest of the inner circle at lunch. From there on out you were typically associated with Annie, who you didn’t actually talk to as much as other people assumed. You were quiet, but accepted, and Eren finally got to put a name to the face, which was nice. 

He asked if you had any tips on using the ODM gear, to which you admitted to being little help on the matter. You weren’t bad by any means, but you weren’t sure how to give advice on something that had come naturally. Luckily, Eren was understanding. He had, however, scrunched up his nose at your suggestion of, “Jean might be able to give you better advice”.

“Right. Like that clown would know about anything besides eating grass...”

And that was the first time he made you smile. 

It was the first time you’d smiled since the Titans arrival. It was one of the few things that had given Eren a sense of warmth in his stomach. There was a click.

After that, Eren had questioned you about your homeland. You answered, not even phased that he hadn’t remembered you from childhood. You had teased him about it at least, but he was quick to apologize. Nothing serious. You barely even had a paranoia attack from remembering that day. 

There was really never a lot of words exchanged between the two of you. But there was a certain connection. 

Eren was just as hot headed as you’d observed him to be. He was loud spoken and brash, and certainly didn’t think things through as much as he should’ve. He had tendency to be the center of attention, it turned out. This was a stark contrast to yourself, who was silently wise and calculating. Eren was upfront about himself and what anyone could expect from him. You were more of a mystery. But you couldn’t blame Eren for acting out when and how he did. He had something he felt he had to prove. He had an intense anger. And while you may not have possessed as much as he did, you liked the character it gave him. 

You would’ve never said it- and nobody would ever have asked- but Eren was your favorite. You’d had a crush on him, though you hadn’t given it much thought or validation. And Eren had a crush on you, but his mind wasn’t one to linger on one specific person against the grand scheme of things. 

But then Eren had died at Trost. Armin confirmed it. Mikasa confirmed Armin. What was done was done. 

So what kind of joke was this?

Why was Eren Jaeger watching at you from across the room now? It’s not a clone- his eyes are far too pure and raw for it to be an illusion of any kind. They shone in the light like planets that Armin would go on about. His hair was dark as ever. A little long, but you hadn’t any mind. His skin was roughed up, with markings around his eyes that reminded you of war paint. The only thing that had could remind you that the boy had once indeed died was the ripped sleeve on his left side, from the day a titan had bitten through it in Armin’s stead. 

You’d heard about what happened. How Eren was a titan. How he had sealed Trost in his titan form. You hadn’t believed it much. It was hard to get behind, in all fairness. But you hadn’t been present at the time of all the announcements. You had been assigned to a small group of cadets going behind wall Maria after the official retreat in order to get more gas. You’d remember feeling especially bitter towards the end of that assignment, as Mikasa had directly referred to you as a coward. 

You’d made it back in time to help in the defense of Eren sealing the wall again, killing a total of five titans that day. Still, the damage between you and Mikasa had been done. Annie was right about her being pretentious, anyway. 

But you hadn’t believed that Eren was really alive. 

So that brings you to reality. The one where Eren watches you from across the dimly lit mess hall as everyone else files out. You’re not sure whether to break contact or not. You’re sure, at least, that you missed him. But your relationship wasn’t forward enough or labeled enough for you to audibly or physically express that. 

Once everyone is gone, Erens eyes narrow slightly. They’re just as colorful as you remember. 

“I thought you would’ve been happy to see me,” he calls out to you, though it’s low and somewhat reminds you of a threat. 

You shift your feet so that your shoulders are fully facing him, square. There’s a clay cup in your hands. You put that down on the table in any attempt to give Eren as much of your attention as possible, but your brain is cloudy from thinking of him too much at this point. 

“I thought you were dead,” you call back. “You hadn’t contacted me for three days. I started to think the rumors weren’t true.”

Eren doesn’t say anything. He has dark rings under his eyes that tell you he’s tired. Bruises cover his skin. There’s the corner of a white bandage peaking out from under the collar of his shirt. There is nothing about the boys appearance to suggest that he is a titan. In fact, he looks more vulnerable and human than most anyone you know. 

“No. I’m alive,” Eren states. 

“Yeah. Clearly.”

Silence. 

You and Eren aren’t friends. It’s just not the right word. But you do share a bond through the common denominator of trauma. Lovers? The passion was there. The courage and capability, however, was somewhat lacking. Companions? Closer. 

“I’d thought it was a joke,” you admit. Your tone comes off more bitter than you’d intended. Eren will assume you’re angry with him if you’re not careful. Maybe he already does. 

“Not a funny one, I’m assuming,” Eren returns. The look in his eyes tells you that your suspicion of his feelings may be correct. If Eren continues on in believing that you have ill will towards him, he won’t hesitate to act in kind. You doubt he cares what your relationship towards him will be then. A hot headed man is a hot headed man. 

Another moment of silence goes by. Your hands are getting sweaty as you look at him. You scuff them against your trousers in an attempt to dry them. You’re trying to stay frozen, which isn’t easy as you think of all the things you could say to him. 

Eren isn’t moving. He is still and strong, with steady eyes and furrowed brows. If you don’t apologize, his brain will have no choice but to resent you. It’s just how his works. So with a slight trembling in your voice, you speak out: “I’m not angry with you, Eren.”

Eren’s shoulders drop slightly as a thin layer of stress leaves. At this, your own tension threatens to sink away. You’re certain you’re in love with him at that very moment, but the specific words don’t come directly to mind. 

You don’t know how the specific memory continued from there. But you do know that there would be a repeat. A repeat you’re living again. 

But this time you’re at the edge of the world. Right where the earth touches the sea, between the exact edges of heaven and hell. 

He’s beside you. He hasn’t left. 

But he won’t meet your eyes either.

Eren’s hair is longer this time. You don’t mind. It suits him,  and so is yours. His muscles have toned out by now. He’s more intelligent and mature. Eren won’t be angry if you’re angry with him first, this time. And while there is a certain rage that’s bubbled under your skin over the years, it’s still not worth mentioning to him. 

It’s now, however, as you look over at the man, that you are sure that this is all just one big, unfunny, poorly thought out joke. Especially now that you’ve come to terms with your own, unfunny, poorly thought out, version of love. 

This, the punchline of the joke, is the moment that you are sure you miss him. You will have little shame in expressing it this time. 

___________                             _______                                ____                       

This character belongs to the Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin) universe. I’ll be branching out to this one and Harry Potter, alongside Star Wars. Just wanted to put something out so everyone’s aware I’m still writing. 

Please be patient as I continue with requests. 

[jostepherjoestar]

Hewwo queen😔if you're still taking requests, could I ask one with la squadra and an artist s/o? Thank you💕💕💕

La Squadra with an artist s/o

sfw // gn reader // First of all... this was the request I mentioned before. I want everyone the address me with “Hewwo Queen😔” from now on!! it make me laugh so hard cause it reminds me of the “then perish” meme thanks for the lovely request <3

Risotto

Risotto admires your talent, often times when he’s trying his best to relax for once, he finds himself looking through your sketchbooks and drawings. He loves seeing your progress and noticing how you always seem to capture the lighting right.

When he gets to your most recent sketchbooks he starts to notice a familiar figure pop up a lot. Himself. Drawn in all sort of poses, his muscles being a great way to study body shapes as you tried to explain with a cheeky grin on your face when he asks you to explain your drawings of him.

On a quiet night you snuck up to your tall boyfriend, as well as you could sneak up on an assassin, with a present behind your back. Excited to see his reaction you handed him the wrapped canvas. Risotto made sure not to rip the pretty wrapping and had a stern look on his face as he saw the surface of the painting. You knew not to expect too much from him reaction wise so you were curious to hear what he had to say.

He just kept staring at the canvas, it was a painting of the only picture you had together. Privacy being a real issue in Passione. You’d asked Melone to take the photo when Risotto was asleep and you posed beside him, kissing him on the cheek. You’d showed him the picture, promising to keep it on you at all times and not to show it to anyone.

“I love it. So much, really darling this- Thank you.” he almost sounded flustered, reaching out to hug you. His reaction was so sweet, you knew he truly loved it. He placed it on the wall near his desk so he could look at it whenever he was working away, like most nights. A couple days later you found a wrapped pencil case on your drawing desk, new pencils, your favourite kind. A little stick man drawn on the card that said “I love you” in a crooked text bubble.

Formaggio

He’s in constant awe of how good you are, constantly praising you and showing off to anyone who’ll listen. He once showed a small drawing you did of a flower he kept in his wallet to a waiter while paying for the meal, embarrassing you to the max.

Seeing you study plants, people, landscapes, buildings, lighting, shadows, basically everything, he tried to see the world through your artistic eyes. He’d never really payed attention to expressing himself that way so he was curious to try.

Setting up canvasses or sketchbooks, all sorts of materials laid out in front of you to experiment with. You set up a still life on the table in front of you, a vase of flowers and some fruit strewn about. Assuring him this isn’t about how pretty or perfect the result is, but about how he sees the setup and wants to express it on the canvas or paper.

After both finishing you’re amazed by the colours he used and how abstract he painted the flowers and fruits. Your complements boosting his confidence. “But you’re still the real artist here sweetheart.” he said as he squeezed your hip as he admired your sketch.

You put his little painting in a frame and set it on your drawing desk, reminding yourself of your number one fan whenever you looked at it. It became a new relaxing activity for the two of you to enjoy with a glass of wine and snacks as you painted and drew together.

Illuso

Illuso loves art, but in particular he loves renaissance art. Whenever you two can, you’ll visit a gallery to admire the large paintings and sculptures. Illuso is quite judgy as well, offering no soft commentary on work he doesn’t enjoy. It’s mostly modern art he doesn’t like.

You try out different styles every now and then whenever you feel stuck in your own personal one, seeing if it could inspire you. To help in those situations Illuso has bought you multiple heavy books on his favourite painters. He isn’t afraid to venture into more recent styles, but he keeps it mostly to Italian or European artists.

When you tried out a more modern style in your newest experiment, he was surprised that he liked it as much as he did. “This is actually pretty good amore.” the complement sounding perhaps more like an insult, but you knew he meant it well.

Illuso himself however couldn’t draw, paint, sculpt or even photograph. He just had a hard time expressing himself in an artistic way, commenting one day that  “Can’t I just be the art myself?” earning a chuckle from you.

Prosciutto

Now Prosciutto likes art, classical paintings and sculptures but he doesn’t pay them any mind for too long. Yes it’s nice to look at but honestly he’d rather spend his time on other stuff. So when he met you he learned to appreciate art more. You’d show him around your workspace and show him the projects you’re working on.

The more you showed him the more he realised that being an artist isn’t just a hobby, it could also be a job as well. He never really thought it about it this way, realising that art is literally all around him. You were able to broaden his view, that you teased was sometimes a little too narrow.

He looks up to you for being able to express you thoughts and ideas and make something beautiful out of them.

As a gang member who has a lot of responsibility he prefers to spend his little amount of free time with the people he loves and trusts, like sitting around reading the paper or a book while you’re working away at your next piece.

Whenever you make him something, be it a drawing, painting, sculpture, and tell him he inspired it he will try his best not to blush. Taking you into a tight hug to cover up his face, thanking you for thinking of him. Honestly he loves that you’re creative and made him open his eyes a little more to the world he thought he already knew so well.

Pesci

The two of you have a cute tradition ever since you started going out together. A couple dates in, he slid you a napkin, face flushed red, with a scraggily drawn Pesci asking if he could be your boyfriend. Of course you happily accepted, having kept the napkin and pinned it to your wall next to your bed. Since then every time you go out and there’s a napkin around the two of you draw each other a funny figure or object.

To the other’s chagrin sometimes, creating way too many inside jokes that they don’t get. What do they not get, it’s a bowl of pasta with cheese on it saying “Cheesed to meet you!”

Besides the cute napkin drawings you store safely in a box, Pesci loves helping you out whenever he can. If you need him to help transport stuff he’ll gladly rent a car and drive, making sure that the ride becomes a cute little date.

He’ll always cheer you on when you feel stuck, doing whatever he can to aid you. Or if you’re having another failed all nighter, fallen asleep on your desk, he’ll come pick you up and carry you to bed. Blushing when you kiss him on the nose to thank him for it.

Melone

Melone absolutely loves that you’re an artist! He loves analysing art and the way people respond to it, the human psyche just really excites him. Often times asking people what they were feeling or what they interpreted when looking at your work. Like he was asking around for a survey, it was just his own curiosity.

He also loves modelling for you. You want him to sit in the garden on a rock between the rose bushes? No problem! Nude? NO PROBLEM! He’ll suggest it every time you ask him to model, assuring him that you won’t need another upclose muscle study for a fourth time this week.

He’ll be your personal promoter and manager if you want him to be, making sure if you want a personal gallery opening that you don’t get scammed for rent and that you can hike up the prices just a tiny little more on your own pieces. He’ll get you connected faster than the speed of light if you want him to.

But most of all he admires how hard you work and the effort you put into your art. He sees a piece of you in every project. You’ll find him staring at your work, a love struck look in his eyes. He’s quite a sappy guy when it comes to this stuff.

Just be sure to not let him near anyone who doesn’t like your work. Another attempt at murder at a gallery opening is not the publicity you want.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio loves abstract colourful art. Other styles that are too complicated or overhyped just makes him annoyed. He loves the simplicity of it, not paying any mind to any hidden meanings. If you do a lot of stuff in a modern or abstract style he’d pay you for the pieces even though he’s your partner. He just really loves supporting you and knows some people don’t compensate artists enough.

You were surprised at his interest, thinking him to not have the temper for art. Although you did discover, during a visit to a new modern exhibit in a local gallery, that Ghiaccio HATED it when the artists act pretentious and the vision of their work doesn’t match up with Ghiacco’s. Mumbling under his breath how “It’s just a square, a beautiful one yes, but it’s not representing how your mom didn’t love you!”.

You don’t comment too much on the meaning behind the modern pieces, he doesn’t seem like he wants to think about it anyway. So you let him enjoy the colourful shapes in his own way.

For his birthday you’d painted an abstract shapely piece in his colours; icy blue’s and the pop of red from his glasses and shoes. Swirly shapes that represented his hair. When you presented it to him his eyes lit up, earning you a passionate kiss that lasted a little too long, you had the rest of La Squadra waiting to eat the birthday dinner, eyerolls and clearing throats making Ghiacco let go with an annoyed growl. He loved it, since you made it and customised to him, he’ll cherish it forever.  

[japes-the-clown]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

[h-worksrambles]

Upon completing the Monkey Island series

After the announcement of Return to Monkey Island, I decided to go back and finish my playthrough of LucasArts’ classic series to get caught up before the new game comes out (yeah I know they won’t all tie into Return but still, I wanted to be thorough). So now that I’ve finished them all, here’s a very brief rundown on my thoughts on all the games in the series. Be warned, I will touch on spoilers for all the games.

The Secret of Monkey Island

  The first game in the series holds up remarkably well. It plays out like a loving tribute to this genre of swashbuckling adventure, balanced out with a casual but genuinely funny sense of humour. Guybrush, Elaine and LeChuck are all fun and likable, as are many of the side characters you bump into. The puzzles are also surprisingly good. It plays with its own mechanics in some surprisingly interesting ways without being too frustrating. I do think the first half on Mêlée Island is a little tighter than the second half on Monkey Island, where things get a little too vague and cryptic. But I never found myself particularly bored or frustrated. I feel like I have less to say than I should but that’s because it really does speak for itself. This game is a classic for a reason and I highly recommend it. I like it more and more on each revisit.

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge

  Yeah, I’m gonna sound like a cliche but here we go. As far as I’m concerned, Monkey Island 2 is the best game in the series. The story follows on from the original in a really effective yet surprisingly sombre way. Sure, the humour is still as razor sharp as ever (maybe even more than the first game) but still. It’s sad to see Guybrush as a washout, seeing him and Elaine broken up on bad terms. The ghosts and villains are still funny, but also more threatening. The jokes are more cynical, the atmosphere creepier and the characters taken in a new direction, and I love it all. This culminates in a legendary mind screw of an ending that completely recontextualises the whole series. And yes, I am that pretentious hack that thinks this ending is brilliant and interprets the rest of the series in the light of this twist, sequels included.

  It is a bit of a walk back from the first game in terms of puzzles though. As much as I love having a larger game world with more islands to explore, the increase in scope leads to a somewhat questionable set of puzzles. Lots of combination puzzles and obscure solutions (that monkey wrench...shudder). Still, it has its fair share of solid brain teasers, particularly the final showdown. Still, I love this game, and I can’t wait to see how Return will build on it.

The Curse of Monkey Island

  I feel like, because I spoke so highly of 1 and 2, there’s this assumption that I’m going to like the post Ron Gilbert games, including this one, less. The series changing hands has regrettably led to a divide in the fandom. Fortunately, I’m happy to say that I still really like The Curse of Monkey Island.   The graphical upgrade here is terrific. I adore how the series takes on the aesthetic of a living cartoon. It may look a little murky on modern day monitors, but I’d still say it stands out as the best looking game in the series. The addition of voice acting is a delight. Dominic Armato basically is Guybrush to me at this point. The humour is still intact, though I’d say it’s somewhat lighter than the last game. It’s less of the devilish humour of the second game where everyone is an awful person (Guybrush included) and more of the casual quirkiness of the first game. And a lot of the jokes and side characters land. Though that does lead me to my only real gripe with Curse’s writing. I get that 2′s ending was controversial, but I feel this game played things far too safe. Curse feels like it’s constantly trying to backspace and be more like the first game again, only addressing 2 when it absolutely needs to. Guybrush and Elaine are just...back together again with no explanation of how they resolved what a crappy boyfriend he was before. The last game’s reveals are all quietly swept under the rug or explained away (rather unsatisfactorally). You can still interpret this game was being part of a child’s imagination like the last two games if you look hard enough. But, combined with the already rushed final act that apparently had a ton of stuff cut for time, it leads to a degree of missed potential.    Fortunately, once you divorce it from 2′s context, it’s still a very good time. The gorgeous world is a delight to explore, even if I miss the immersion of having a larger number of good sized islands (again, the structure very much feels like it’s going back to 1). And again, I do think the series still hasn’t quite captured the slick, creative puzzle design of the first game since. Obtuse combination puzzles are the name of the game here, and there’s little more to the puzzles outside of trial and error item use. I dunno, I miss swapping drinks between flasks, following a guy through a maze, making nice with a talking compass to navigate a cave. Still, I was willing to forgive 2 its occasionally wonky puzzle design for its art and writing, and I can do the same here.

The Curse of Monkey Island is caught in an odd place for being the transition point away from the original intent of the series. Which is what makes the fact that it’s so good such a relief. It still looks and sounds incredible, the comedy is on point and the environments a delight to explore. Its puzzles can feel a little iffy at times, and it sometimes feels like its trying a little too hard to be like the first game, and only the first game, but I still really enjoyed the experience.

Escape from Monkey Island

  Ok, I have a little less to say about this one because, I’ll be real with you. This is the only one I didn’t finish. I just resorted to a longplay. I don’t think I’m being very original in saying that I like Escape from Monkey Island the least out of the series. But I want to give it credit for the things I like.   The story and writing is...OK. This game features the writers and creative team behind Sam & Max Hit the Road, a game I really love. And with that, comes a slightly more over the top, cartoony tone. Unfortunately, while it’s still got some great gags, it doesn’t quite hit the level of insane dark wit of Sam & Max, but still feels a little too off from the previous game’s comedic tone, putting it in an awkward middle ground. But I do like some of the situations it places the characters in. It’s fun to see Guybrush and Elaine interacting as a couple since Elaine spent nearly all of the last game as an inanimate gold statue. I like how it revisits plot threads and characters from Mêlée Island, (even though it contributes to the feeling that the franchise is still trying really hard to be ‘just like the first game again’). The concept of corporate takeovers across the island actually ties back to the infamous ‘theme park’ theory from 2 surprisingly well, which I like at the very least. There’s some good stuff to be found here. Though with some of the strange way it revisits old plot threads, and the bizarre finale, Escape is a fun enough ride that ultimately kind of jumps the shark.

But you know what? The writing honestly isn’t the problem. Nor is it the 3D graphics (which, while primitive and a step down from Curse, are honestly not that bad for the time). But, God, this game is a slog to play. You know what I’m gonna say. Screw the tank controls. Screw Monkey Kombat. Screw the game breaking bugs that forced me to restart multiple times before I gave up. Say what you will about the divisive visual changes in the first two entries’ remasters. This game needed a Special Edition to clean up its issues. Just releasing it unchanged on Steam and GOG without tweaks to help it play nice with modern systems did this game no favours.

  Escape isn’t some iredeemable disaster. It’s a fine enough point and click. But on the writing level it isn’t quite up there with the rest, and on a gameplay level it’s notably flawed. 

Tales of Monkey Island

  Tales of Monkey Island is a genuinely enjoyable revival of the series though it isn’t without its flaws. On a story level this is the most I’ve enjoyed the plot of any of these games since 2. The Pox of LeChuck is a fun and compelling plot mechanic that allows for some really interesting character work. I like seeing Guybrush struggling to shake off the curse, Elaine having a really sweet relationship with him while still taking charge in the action scenes and (especially) LeChuck forming an uneasy truce with Guybrush and Elaine. I personallly love viewing LeChuck under the lens of 2′s twist because I love the implications that Guybrush has built up his own brother in his head as this bullying, evil monster, reimagining their petty squabbles as epic duels across on the sea. So seeing a ‘what if’ scenario of how he and Guybrush could actually be good friends is really interesting in that context, even if it’s just an act. In general, LeChuck gets a great showing here. After he got side lined as a villain in Escape, this game almost fools you into thinking LeChuck will be supplanted by a villain again by the Marquis de Singe, but when he takes centre stage once again as the Big Bad, he gives a heck of show in probably the best final showdown in the series. The comedy’s pretty solid too. The humour is certainly different from the other games, moreso resembling the zany quippiness of Telltale’s Sam & Max games. Fortunately, I like those games a great deal so that’s no great loss in my book, though I can see the less casual humour and more supernatural tone being offputting for fans. Between the more overtly supernatural setup and character shakeups, I’m again tempted to compare it to Telltale’s Sam & Max: The Devil’s Playhouse, a title I have already spoken about at length. Much like that game, it sort of feels like...very high quality fanfiction, one that isn’t afraid to get a little out there with the source material.

It’s not all good news though. Tales is at its best when it’s doing fun and interesting stuff wth its lead cast or returning characters. But the new additions are a mixed bag. I like Morgan Le Flay. She’s a fun character with a pretty good arc and an enjoyable developing friendship with Guybrush. And Winslow is absolutey too pure for this world. But the Marquis De Singe never feels like a very funny or threatening villain. And as happy as I was to see Stan and Murray return, most of the one off characters felt like misses. There’s a lot here that feels like filler, with the third episode being the weakest in my opinion, dragging its feet with a rather over the top premise and weak jokes while we wait for the plot to resume. Fortunately, it ends on its best two episodes, bringing together threads from both the pre and post-Gilbert games to make a really fun finale. The Voodoo Lady twist especially has some really cool implications...that we never really got to see followed up on. Is Monkey Island just doomed to constantly have unresolved twist heavy cliffhangers?

  The puzzles are honestly quite good too. It delivers a lot of the classic Monkey Island staples, but in bite sized episodic chunks. Mazes, recipes, item combination, travelling across island maps and sea charts. The works. Still, I was pleasantly surprised how much of the challenges were genuinely fun, right from the first episode, even for someone as notoriously bad at puzzles as myself. Dare I say, I liked the puzzles here overall more than in 2 or Curse. Still, the curse of Telltale’s limited production and short development times rears its ugly head. The art style is quite nice but the grapics are definitely pretty dated even for 2009 and the asset reuse can get REALLY glaring. 

  Tales is imperfect, to be sure, but it does a solid job bringing back the franchise for (so it seemed at the time) one last hurrah. It’s a genuinely interesting, funny and surprisingly dramatic story that gives these much loved characters a chance to shine. If you tapped out of the later Monkey Island games, or if you’re only more familliar with Telltale’s later, more choice driven titles, I’d say give this one a shot.

...And that’s all of them. Even as someone relatively new to the point and click adventure genre, these games were a delight to go through. and if you’re curious about my ranking...

1. Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge 2. Secret of Monkey Island 3. Curse of Monley Island 4. Tales of Monkey Island (I feel Tales and Curse could switch on any given day) 5. Escape from Monkey Island

By the end of this year, Return to Monkey Island will be in our hands, and we still don’t know much about it. Will it be an interquel? An alternate timeline? How much will it take from Curse onwards? How much will it address 2′s ending? It all remains to be seen. But I for one, can’t wait to find out. Because if these five games are any indicator of the quality we can expect, there’ll be a lot to look forward to. LucasArts, you game design like a dairy fighter! How appropriate. You write like a cow.

[lihikainanea]

No you not bad at answering asks at all, I enjoy reading your answers to people :). It was after your answered an anon about your opinion of Gustaf and b fire it Bill. I feel like you good at reading people. So I asked if you could write your opinion about Alexander and Valter as well.

Oh sweet nani, are you trying to get me into trouble? I feel like these things always get me into trouble, because I'm viewed as being far too harsh and judgmental. So let me preface this by saying that I think we, as collective humans, all have traits that are absolutely abhorrent. We all have aspects of our personality that are just the shittiest of shitty. I don't think any of those things make us bad people--we are not defined by our faults. Our faults are what make us human, and beautifully complex.

I think I wrote a bit about Alex in the past--you may be able to find it if you search his name in my blog--but I don't know, I have a hard time faulting Alex for any of his misdemeanours because I think he's alarmingly honest about them. Alex is a good time. Alex seems like all he wants, all he looks for, is a good time--and he's upfront about that. If you fall for him, then that's on you--because he told you what he was looking for, and that he wouldn't change. Of all of them, I think Alex would be the type of guy I'd be able to have the funniest friendship with. He doesn't seem to take himself too seriously, and in general he just seems like a good times. Fuckboys ain't bad, if they present themselves as fuckboys. There's a weird sincerity there. The fuckboys I want to fucking smack senseless are the ones masquerading as nice guys, the ones who get your hopes up even WHEN THEY KNOW that they don't want anything serious. Fuckboys like that will lie to get what they want out of you, and will break your heart.

But an upfront fuckboy? He'll tell you he's just in it for quick kicks. And if you're game, then awesome--it'll be the best time of your life. But don't expect anything more.

(I, coincidentally, had a great dream about Alex last night. I think we'd be good pals).

I feel like Alex is also the one who openly acknowledges that his last name opened doors for him, and he's the only one who ain't mad about it. I'll never understand the rest of the brood for being so vehemently against that concept, and being mad at it. Alex knows that some of his big break came from his dad--but then he took that, ran with it, and earned his chops on his own. I feel like if you so much as mention family to the rest of the acting bros, they'll bite your fucking head off and it's oddly pretentious and a whole lot idealistic.

Alex has a self-awareness about him that is very different from Gustaf's. Gustaf is introspective, thoughtful, wise. Alex is just here for a good time, not a long time--and while he has a sensitive side no doubt, while he absolutely has that self-loathing side that all actors need to succeed--he also recognizes that it's mildly ridiculous. His whole world is mildly ridiculous, and he knows that.

Valter is....Valter is a funny one. I think he craves attention, all so he can pretend he hates it. Valter doesn't need to engage the way he does-but he chooses to, and then he chooses to be mad about it. I feel like in a lot of this rhetoric, people and fans forget that so much of this is a choice. You choose to be seen. You choose to act and react. I think it's any normal person's right to have social media and to post whatever they want on it, but those rules don't ever apply to someone in the public eye. They just don't. Just like they don't apply to me in the line of work I do--is it my right, to have a very strong social media presence and broadcast every part of my life? As a person, yes thats my right. But in my line of work--no, it's not. I'm not allowed to, because it's not a good idea. And even BEFORE my line of work, when I was dating a famous athlete--I chose not to be seen, so I wasn't seen. Fans messaged me all the time, they knew who I was--and I just didn't engage, because that was my choice. I didn't WANT the attention.

So...Tired of people asking you about your brothers on social media? Then just..don't engage. No sense in gaslighting yourself, pal. Valter has some maturing to do, some growing up to do, but he acts and reacts exactly how I would expect a member of a very rich, successful family would. He feels slighted, he has a chip on his shoulder and is alarmingly defensive about his family name giving him opportunities. I don't know, I like the kid, but I want to tell him to shut up and grow up sometimes. There's nothing quite like someone choking on his silver spoon as he tells you about how he didn't grow up in privilege. Bruh, sit down. He's a good guy, and his cockiness or arrogance will grow out of him. I'm pretty sure most dudes ain't worth their salt until they're at least 30, and I don't know a single rich kid who DIDN'T act like Valter at that age. He's amusing, he's goofy, I like his sense of humour most of the time. Reality will hit him some way or another and I think he'll be a far more well-rounded human after that--just like we all would be.

[snelbz]

What Happens In Vegas... {4}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Feyre x Rhysand, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Summary: For Feyre’s twenty-first birthday, her best friend took her to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun she could never forget. She’s going home with a lot more than memories.

@snelbz​ / @tacmc​ collab

What Happens In Vegas Masterlist

Fanfiction Masterlist

My Ask Box

My neck had seized up. Pain shot through me as I slowly straightened and blinked the sleep from my eyes. I rubbed at the offending muscles, trying to get them to unlock. “Ow.”

Rhysand took one hand off the steering wheel and reached out, rubbing the back of my neck with strong fingers. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I must have slept funny.” I shuffled up in the seat, taking in our surroundings, trying not to enjoy the neck rub too much. Because of course he was crazy good with his hands. Mr. Magic Fingers coerced my muscles back into some semblance of order with seemingly little effort. I couldn’t be expected to resist. Impossible. So instead I moaned loudly and let him have his way with me

Being barely awake was my only excuse.

The sun was just rising. Tall, shadowy trees rushed by outside. Trying to get out of LA, we’d gotten caught in a traffic jam the likes of which this small town girl had never seen.

For all my good intentions, we hadn’t really talked. We’d stopped and gotten food and gas. The rest of the time, Johnny Cash had played on the stereo and I’d practiced speeches in my head. None of the words made it out of my mouth.

For some reason, I was reluctant to call a halt to our adventure and go off on my own. It had nothing to do with pulling up my big-girl panties and everything to do with how comfortable I’d begun to feel with him. The silence wasn’t awkward. It was peaceful. Refreshing, even, given the last day’s worth of drama. Being with him on the open road … there was something freeing about it. At around two in the morning, I’d fallen asleep.

“Rhys, where are we?” He gave me a sidelong look, his hand still massaging my muscles. A sign flew past outside. “We’re going to Velaris?”

“That’s where my place is,” he said. “Stop tensing up.”

“Velaris?”

“Yeah. What’ve you got against Velaris?”

“Nothing.” I backpedaled fast, not wanting to appear ungrateful. “It’s just a surprise. I didn’t realize we were leaving town. Velaris. Okay.”

Rhys sighed and pulled off the road. Dust flew and stones pinged off the truck. Cass wouldn’t be pleased. He turned to face me, resting an elbow on the top of the passenger seat, boxing me in.

“Talk to me, friend,” he said.

I opened my mouth and let it all tumble out. “I have a plan. I have some money put away. I was going to go someplace quiet for a couple of weeks until this blew over. You didn’t have to put yourself out like this. I just need to get my stuff from back at the mansion and I can be out of your hair.”

“All right.” He nodded. “Well, we’re here now and I’d like to go check out my place for a couple of days. So why don’t you come with me? Just as friends. No big deal. It’s Friday now, the lawyers said they’d have the new papers sent to us Monday. We’ll sign them. I’ve got a show early next week back in LA. If you want, you can lie low at the house for a few weeks till things calm down. Sound like a plan? We spend the weekend together, then go our separate ways. All sorted.”

It did sound like a solid idea. But still, I deliberated for a second. Apparently, it was a second too long.

“You worried about spending the weekend with me or something? Am I that scary?” His gaze held mine, our faces a bare hand’s breadth apart. Dark hair fell around his perfect face. For a moment I almost forgot to breathe. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Outside a motorcycle roared past then all fell quiet again.

Was he scary? The man had no idea.

“No,” I lied, throwing in some scoff for good measure.

I don’t think he believed me. “Listen, I’m sorry about acting like an asshole back in LA.”

“It’s okay, really, Rhys. This situation would do anyone’s head in.”

“Tell me something,” he said in a low voice. “You remembered getting the tattoo. Has anything else come back to you?”

Reliving my drunken rampage wasn’t somewhere I wanted to go. Not with him. Not with anyone. I was paying the consequences by having my life upended and splashed about on the Internet. “Does this even matter? I mean, isn’t it a bit late to be having this conversation?”

“Guess so.” He shifted back in his seat and put a hand on the wheel. “You need to stretch your legs or anything?”

“A restroom would be great.”

He nodded. “No worries.”

We pulled back out onto the road, and silence ensued for several minutes. He’d turned off the stereo sometime while I slept. The quiet was awkward now and it was all my doing. Guilt sucked first thing in the morning. It probably didn’t improve later in the day, but first up, without even a drop of caffeine to fortify me, it was horrible. He’d been nice to me, trying to talk, and I’d shut him down.

“Most of that night is still a blur,” I said, trying to gently reopen the conversation.

He hummed quietly. Such was the sum total of his response.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself to go further. “I remember doing shots at midnight. After that, it’s hazy. I remember the sound of the needle at the tattoo parlor, us laughing, but that’s about it. I’ve never blacked out in my life. It’s scary.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

It was a little late to ask this, but I needed to know. “How did we meet?”

He exhaled hard. “Me and a group of people were leaving to go to another club. One of the girls wasn’t looking where she was going, bumped into a cocktail waitress. Apparently the waitress was new or something and she dropped her tray. Luckily, it was only a couple of empty beer bottles.”

“How did I get involved?”

He darted me a glance, taking his eyes off the road for a moment. “Some of them started giving the poor waitress shit, telling her they were going to get her fired. You just swooped in and handed them their asses.”

My eyes went wide. “I did?”

“Oh, yeah.” He licked his lips, the corner of his mouth curling. “Told them they were evil, pretentious, overpriced assholes who should watch where they were walking. You helped the girl pick up the beer bottles and then you insulted my friends some more. It was pretty fucking classic, actually. I can’t remember everything you said. You got pretty creative with the insults by the end.”

I was stunned. “Huh. And you liked me for that?”

He shut his mouth and said nothing. A whole wide world of nothing. Nothing could actually cover a lot of ground when you put that much effort into it.

“What happened next?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Security came over to throw you out. Not like they were gonna argue with the rich kids.”

“No. I guess not.”

Glancing over at me, he added, “You looked panicky, so I got you out of there.”

“You left your friends for me?” I watched him in amazement.

He did a one-shoulder shrug. As if it meant nothing.

“What then?” I asked.

“We took off and had a drink in another bar.”

“I’m surprised you stuck with me.” Stunned was closer.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked. “You treated me like a normal person. We just talked about everyday stuff. You weren’t angling to get anything out of me. You didn’t act like I was a different fucking species. When you looked at me it felt…”

“What?”

He cleared his throat. “I dunno. Doesn’t matter.”

He was lying. “Yes, you do. And it does.”

He groaned.

I pushed. “Please?”

“Fuck’s sake,” he muttered, shifting around in the driver’s seat all uncomfortable-like. “It felt real, okay? It felt right. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

I sat in stunned silence for a moment. “That’s a good way to explain it.”

Suddenly, he got decidedly smirky. “Plus, I’d never been propositioned quite like that.”

“Yeah. Okay, stop now.” I covered my face with my hands, and he laughed.

“Relax,” he said. “You were very sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“Sweet is not a bad thing,” he replied.

He pulled the truck into a gas station, stopping in front of a pump. “Look at me.”

I lowered my fingers. Rhys stared back at me, beautiful face grinning. “You said that you thought I was a really nice guy. And that it would be great if we could go up to your room and have sex and just hang out for a while, if maybe that was something I’d be interested in doing.”

“I have all the moves,” I groaned. There might have been more embarrassing conversations in my life. Doubtful, though. Oh, good God, the thought of me trying out my smooth seduction routine on Rhys. He who had groupies and glamour models throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. If there’d been enough room under the car seat, I’d have hid down there. “What did you say?”

“What do you think I said?” Without taking his gaze off me, he popped the glove box and pulled out a baseball cap.

“This is so mortifying,” I sighed, letting my head fall back against the headset. “Why couldn’t you have forgotten too?”

He just looked at me. The smirk was long gone. For a long moment he held my gaze captive, unsmiling. The air in the car seemed to drop by about fifty degrees.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, fingers fumbling with the seat belt.

His voice was hard again. “Sure.”

I finally managed to unbuckle the stupid thing, heart galloping inside my chest. The conversation had gotten crazy heavy toward the end. It had caught me off guard. Knowing he’d stood up for me in Las Vegas, that he’d chosen me over his friends… It changed things. And it made me wonder what else I needed to know about that night.

“Wait.” He rifled among the collection of sunglasses, pulled out a pair of designer aviator shades, and handed them to me. “You’re famous now too, remember?”

“My butt is.”

He almost smiled. Almost.

He fit the baseball cap to his head and rested an arm on the steering wheel. The tattoo of my name was right there, in all its glory. It was pink around the edges and some of the letters had small scabs on them. I wasn’t the only one permanently marked by that night.

With a sigh, I hurried inside of the gas station, into the restroom. I locked myself inside of the stall and took a deep breath. 

A weekend with Rhysand. It wouldn’t be too bad...at least, that’s what I kept telling myself, and every time I did, I debated myself against it. I was nervous and, yes, a little bit scared. Ultimately, I will still uncomfortable with the fact that I was married to a stranger. I was learning more about him every day, but I still didn’t know him, and I’m not sure I would get the chance to when all was said and done. 

I mean, did it even matter?

After I saw to the necessities, I was washing my hands, scrubbing at them just to give myself a few minutes more of silence. When I opened the door to the restroom again, though, I was only halfway down the drinks aisle before I had been spotted. A pair of girls, maybe a few years younger than myself, were standing there, their eyes wide.

The sunglasses Rhys had given me were pushed on the top of my head.

Good going, Feyre.

I gave them each an awkward smile and tried to step past them. I was almost to the door, to freedom, when one of them muttered to her, “Do you think that’s her?”

I didn’t turn to let them know I’d heard them, just kept hurrying for the exit.

“I don’t think so. The girl in the pictures was much prettier.”

Ouch.

When I got back, Rhysand was standing by the truck, signing an autograph for a couple of guys, one of whom was busy doing an overly-enthusiastic air guitar performance. Rhys laughed and clapped him on the back and they talked for a couple of minutes more. He was kind, gracious. He stood smiling, chatting with them, until he noticed me hovering nearby. “Thanks, guys. If you could keep this quiet for a couple of days I’d appreciate it, yeah? We could do with a break from the insanity.”

“No worries.” One of the guys turned and grinned at me. “Congratulations. You’re way prettier in person than in your pictures.”

“Thanks.” I awkwardly smiled, not quite knowing what else to do. I preferred these guys to the girls who’d seen me in the gas station.

Rhys winked at me and opened the passenger door for me to hop in. The other man pulled out a cell phone and started snapping pictures. Rhys ignored him and hurried around to the other side of the vehicle. He didn’t speak till we were back out on the road.

“It’s not far now,” he said. “We still going to Velaris?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Cool.”

Hearing Rhys talk about our first meeting had put a new spin on things. That conversation had piqued my curiosity. That he’d chosen me to some degree that night… I don’t think the possibility had occurred to me before. I’d figured we’d both let tequila do the thinking and somehow fallen into this mess together.

I was wrong. There was more to the story. Much more. Rhysand’s reluctance to answer certain questions made me wonder.

I wanted answers. But I needed to tread carefully.

“Is it always like that for you?” I asked. “Being recognized? Having people approach you all the time?” I was hesitant to tell him about the girls I saw in the gas station. I didn’t know how he’d feel about that, or if he’d reprimand me for not utilizing the sunglasses like he’d told me.

“They were fine. The crazies are a worry, but you handle it. It’s part of my job. People like the music, so…”

A bad feeling crept through me. “You did tell me who you were that night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, of course I did.” He gave me a snarky look, his brows bunched up.

My bad feeling crept away, only to be replaced by shame. “Sorry.”

“Feyre, I wanted you to know what the fuck you were getting into. You said you really liked me, but you weren’t that keen on my band.” He fiddled with the stereo, another half smile on his face. Soon some rock song I didn’t know played quietly over the speakers. “You felt pretty bad about it, actually. You kept apologizing over and over. Insisted on buying me a pizza to make up for it.”

“I just prefer country or pop. Or, really, anything that’s not hard rock.”

“Believe me, I know. And stop apologizing. You’re allowed to like whatever the hell you want.”

I nodded and we fell into an awkward silence. Finally, I asked, “Was it a good pizza?”

He gave me a one-shoulder shrug. “It was fine.”

I looked over at him, but his eyes were firmly on the road in front of us. “I wish I remembered.”

He snorted. “There’s a first.”

I don’t know what exactly came over me. Maybe I just wanted to see if I could make him smile. With a knee beneath me I pulled out a length of seat belt, raised myself up, and kissed him quick on the cheek. A surprise attack. His skin was warm and smooth against my lips. The man smelled so much better than he had a right to.

“What was that for?” he asked, shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye.

“For getting me out of my parent’s house and then out of LA. For talking to me about that night.” I shrugged, trying to play it off. “For lots of things.”

A little line appeared above the bridge of his nose. When he spoke, his voice was gruff. “Right. Yeah. No problem.”

His mouth stayed shut and his hand went to his cheek, touching where my lips had been. The looks out of the corner of his eye continued for quite some time. Each one made me wonder a bit more if Rhysand Lunasa was just as scared of me as I was of him. This reaction was even better than a smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Velaris was beautiful, that much was certain, and if I thought the mansion in LA was over the top, Rhysand’s house was just as magnificent, but in a more logical sense. It wasn’t as big, but it was very modern, very sleek. 

Rhysand climbed out of the cab and walked up to the house, fiddling with a set of keys from his pocket. He opened the front door, then stopped to punch numbers into a security system.

“You coming?” he yelled.

I lingered beside the car, looking up at the magnificent house. Him and me alone. Inside there. Hmm. Waves crashed on the rocks nearby. I swore I could hear the swell of an orchestral accompaniment not too far off in the distance. The place was decidedly atmospheric. And that atmosphere was pure romance.

“What’s the problem?” Rhys came back down the stone path toward me.

“Nothing … I was just-.”

“Good.” He didn’t stop. I didn’t know what was going on until I found myself hanging upside down over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

“Shit. Rhys!”

“Relax,” he crooned. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear the smirk on his lips.

“You’re going to drop me!” I cried.

“I’m not going to drop you. Stop squirming,” he said, his arm pressing against the back of my legs. “Show some trust.”

“What are you doing?” I battered my hands against the ass of his jeans.

“It’s traditional to carry the bride across the threshold.”

“Not like this,” I laughed.

He patted my butt cheek, the one with his name on it. “Why would we wanna start being conventional now, huh?”

“I thought we were just being friends.”

“This is friendly. You should probably stop grabbing my ass, though, or I’m gonna get the wrong idea about us. Especially after that kiss in the car.”

“I’m not feeling your ass,” I grumbled, and stopped using his butt cheeks for a handhold. Like it was my fault the position left me no alternative but to hold on to his firm butt.

He snorted. “Please, you’re all over me. It’s disgusting.”

I laughed despite myself. “You put me over your shoulder, you idiot. Of course I’m all over you.”

Up the steps we went, then onto the wide wooden patio and into the house. Hardwood floors in a rich brown and moving boxes, lots and lots of moving boxes. I couldn’t see much else.

“This could be a problem,” he said.

“What could be?” I asked, still upside down, my hair obscuring my view.

“Hang on.” Carefully, he righted me, setting my feet on the floor. All the blood rushed from my head and I staggered. He grabbed my elbows, holding me upright.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. What’s the problem?”

I followed his gaze, looking around at the sparse furnishings. “I thought you said you lived here,” I said, as I stepped inside of the foyer and looked around.

Rhysand shut the front door behind me. As I was looking out of the floor-length front windows at the beach beyond, he said, “I haven’t been here in a while. Not much time to come home, you know?”

I nodded, as if I agreed, but I really had no idea. I had no idea what it was like to constantly be on the road, in different cities, in different countries. 

To be away from home for months, for years, and having to cope with homesickness.

“I thought there’d be more furniture,” he said. 

I turned to look at him. “You’ve never been here before?”

“I’ve been busy.”

Apart from boxes there were more boxes. They were everywhere. We stood in a large central room with a huge stone fireplace set in the far wall. You could roast a whole cow in the thing if you were so inclined. Stairs led to a second floor above and another level below this one. A dining room and open-plan kitchen came next. The place was a combination of floor-to-ceiling glass, neat lines of logs, and gray stonework. The perfect mix of old and new design techniques. It was stunning. But then all the places he lived in seemed to be.

I wondered what he’d make of my and Joey’s tiny bedraggled apartment. A silly thought. As if he’d ever see it.

“At least they got a fridge.” He pulled one of the large stainless steel doors open. Every inch of space inside had been packed with food and beverages. “Excellent.”

“Who are ‘they’?” I asked, following behind him.

“The people that look after the place for me. Friends of mine. I called them, asked them to sort some stuff out for us.” He pulled out a beer and popped the lid. “Cheers.”

I smiled, amused. “For breakfast?”

“I’ve been awake for two days. I want a beer, then I want a bed. Man, I hope they thought to get a bed.” Beer in hand, he ambled back through the kitchen and entryway and up the stairs. I followed, curious.

He pushed open one bedroom door after another. There were four in total and each had its own bathroom because cool, rich people clearly couldn’t share. At the final door at the end of the hall he stopped and sagged with relief. “Thank fuck for that.”

A kingdom of a bed made up with clean, white sheets waited within. And a couple more boxes.

“What’s with all the boxes?” I asked. “Did they only get one bed?”

“Sometimes I buy stuff on my travels. Sometimes people give me stuff. I’ve just been sending it all here for the last few years. Take a look if you want. And yes, there’s only one bed.” He took another swig of beer. “You think I’m made of money?”

I huffed out a laugh. “Says the guy who got Cartier to open so I could pick out a ring.”

“You remember that?” He smiled around the bottle.

“No, I just assumed given what time of night it must have been.” I wandered over to the wall of windows. Such an amazing view.

“You tried to pick some shitty little thing. I couldn’t believe it.” He stared at me, but his gaze was distant.

I winced. “I threw the ring at the lawyers.”

He flinched and studied his shoes. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m sorry. They just made me so mad.”

“Lawyers do that.” He took another swig of the beer. “Cass said you took a swing at him.”

“I missed.”

“Probably for the best. He’s an idiot but he means well.”

“Yeah, he was really nice to me.” Crossing my arms, I checked out the rest of his big bedroom, wandering into the bathroom. The Jacuzzi would have made Cassian’s curl up in shame. The place was sumptuous. Yet again the feeling of not belonging, of not fitting in with the décor, hit me hard.

“That’s some heavy frown, friend,” he said.

I attempted a smile. “I’m just still trying to figure things out. I mean, is that why you took the plunge in Vegas? Because you’re unhappy? And apart from Cassian, you’re surrounded by jerks?”

“Fuck.” His let his head fall back. “Do we have to keep talking about that night?”

I was getting just as frustrated as he was. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“No,” he said. “It wasn’t that, okay?”

“Then what?” I pressed.

“We were in Vegas, Feyre. Shit happens.”

I shut my mouth. Ouch.

“I don’t mean…” He wiped a hand across his face. “Fuck. Look, don’t think it was just all drinking and partying and that’s the only reason anything happened. Why we happened. I wouldn’t want you to think that.”

I threw my arms out. It seemed the only proper response. “But that’s what I do think. That’s exactly what I think. That’s the only way this fits together in my head. When a girl like me wakes up married to a guy like you, what else can she possibly think? God, Rhys, look at you. You’re beautiful, rich, and successful. Tamlin was right, this makes no sense.”

He turned on me, face tight. “Don’t do that. Don’t talk yourself down like that.”

I just sighed, shaking my head.

He went on. “I’m serious. Don’t you ever give what that asshole said another thought, understood?”

“Then give me something. Tell me what it was like between us that night.”

He opened his mouth, then snapped it closed. “Nah. I don’t want to dredge it all up, you know? Water under the bridge or whatever. I just don’t want you thinking that the whole night was some alcohol-fueled frenzy or something, that’s all. Honestly, you didn’t even seem that drunk most of it.”

“Rhys, you’re hedging. Come on. It’s not fair that you remember and I don’t.”

“No,” he said, his voice hard, cold, in a way I hadn’t heard it. He loomed over me, jaw set. “It’s not fair that I remember and you don’t, Feyre.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m going out.” True to his word, he stormed out the door. Heavy footsteps thumped along the hallway and back down the stairs. I stood staring after him.

[rainydawgradioblog]

Classic Album Review From the Vault: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme by Simon and Garfunkel

This is a review I published on RateYourMusic about a year ago, but I think it's worth writing here as well.

Part of me wants to say that this album is just so precious, even pretentious. Something about the way Paul Simon writes feels like it was designed specifically for English teachers, full of imagery that is "poetic" in a very traditional, 19th-century sense. It's not the ornate odyssey of Joanna Newsom, nor the equally transportive surrealism of his contemporary Dylan (who he parodies on this album), but instead it's very structured, narrative, and sentimental--for those who think Dylan is too much of a rebel to the English Language, Simon and Garfunkel are here to restore order.

This sounds like something I would absolutely despise, or at least struggle to enjoy as a young person in 2021, but the remarkable thing is that it works. The only song that feels genuinely pretentious is "The Dangling Conversation", and that seems intentional--after all, isn't this song about someone so steeped in "intellectual" pursuits that they've lost emotional connection? The rest of the songs here are less dense, yet far more emotionally impactful. The opener is perhaps the most-discussed, and though I don't find it one of the strongest, its understated wintery echo is iconic, and Simon's second vocal line is as affecting as World War I poetry. There's also a few brief moments of cluster chord multi-tracked harmonies, which always sounded like they prefigured some similar sounds on The Glow Pt. 2.

Musically, the rest of the album shows an expansion of sound from their debut and The Sounds of Silence, such as on the second track, which is perhaps the most psychedelic on the album. I always thought that Simon's vocal melody sounded like a flute with a slightly "exotic" quality. However, his future fascination with regional music is nowhere else to be found on this album, and I would personally chock this song up more to the burgeoning psychedelic movement than a conscious attempt to incorporate a foreign sound. However, the duo is at their best when they stick to their "traditional" folk-pop-rock sound, which on more than one track has an almost jazzy lightness to it. "Cloudy" is heavily atmospheric with its bells, delicate guitar picking, and distant hints of organ, genuinely feeling like an overcast day somewhere in the hills. There's a brief hint of darkness with the diminished chord on the "sometimes I think it's hanging down on me" line. The same cannot be said for "The 59th Street Bridge Song", which is a pure blast of joy. Its also one of the shortest on the album, which is fitting, considering that in Simon & Garfunkel-land, one cannot go far without encountering a heaping dose of melancholy.

"Melancholy" is the perfect word for most of the second half, which features the aforementioned "Dangling Conversation" and the far superior "Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall", a song about the nature of existence with a chorus about denying mortality in a way almost as absurd as Jason Isbell on "If We Were Vampires". To balance these out, the album also features two songs which satirize popular culture in a way that could only be described as 1966 incarnate: first with "The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine", which has strong, funny verses, but a somewhat uninspired chorus (though this may be the point), and secondly with the significantly stronger "A Simple Desultory Philippic" (Or How I Was Robert McNarmar'd Into Submission), which has a surprisingly energetic backing and lyrics which make fun of the pop-culture addled youth, though today, you could argue that it acts more as a time capsule than a relevant comedy song.

Following "Philippic" are the two strongest songs on the entire album. First comes the ethereal "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her", a song as comforting, sentimental, yet ephemeral as can be imagined. The lyricism is once again somewhat pretentious, but so romantic that I can't help but be moved. Garfunkel's vocal performance is absolutely perfect, wispy in the way only he can be, yet building to one of the most passionate lines I've ever heard with "your cheeks flushed in the night". The only flaw in the entire song is the very end--after such evocative lyricism, "I love you girl" is a bit of a weak closing statement, almost as if the inherent beauty of the song was unable to carry the romantic sentiment. It doesn't come nearly close to breaking the spell of the song though. This was one of my late grandmother's favorite songs, and though I'll always remember it fondly, the final verse's reassurance will always be left in a mythical past for me.

The follow-up "Poem on the Underground Wall" is just as great, and is perhaps the best argument that Simon's pretension was a boon to the group. Here he renders what would otherwise be an uninteresting sight--someone graffitiing a curse word on a subway wall (or perhaps "love"; it's left vague)--as a religious experience. The lyric "and he holds his crayon rosary" is given a perfect 5th harmonization, which only amplifies this spirituality by pulling directly from the most primal church music in the Western tradition. The melody and vocal performance are impassioned the way a traditional folk ballad might be, and of course, the intro humming creates a stronger sense of atmosphere than any studio theatrics. (Between this and Brian Eno's "By This River", I think that two-part humming might be the most simple yet underutilized musical technique in popular music.)

To close out the album, there is a cover of "Silent Night" mixed with a collage of news broadcasts from 1966. Like with "A Simple Desultory Philippic", it instantly dates the song, but considering that all of the events mentioned are still discussed today, it still has historical value. Even more affectingly, since many of these songs have aged very well due to inspiring folk rock and indie artists of future generations, this track feels far more alive in the context on the album, perhaps illuminating how it must have felt to live through those now-historic events and how similar the human spirit of the past is with that of today. To all the people who say this is a weak closer, I could not disagree more.

This is not a perfect album, and no one would deny that it has dated heavily in its cultural references. However, the most resonant songs astound to this day, and as a complete package, it is Simon and Garfunkel's most consistent and best album overall. Highly recommended for those over 65, though you've likely heard it already. Us young people should give it a listen too.

-Stefan

[vavandeveresfan]

“Michael Keaton, Revved Up and Ready to Tell Some Stories.”

By David Marchese, for The New York Times Magazine. Aug. 29, 2021

Michael Keaton has been a star for long enough to have gone through multiple and distinctly different cycles of fame and artistic expression. He has zigzagged through the years from the gleeful anarchic charge of his comedic work in his early hit films like “Night Shift” (1982) and “Mr. Mom” (1983) to megastardom via the gothic “Batman” (1989) and even more gothic “Batman Returns” (1992). Then, after a period in the wilderness in the 2000s, he made a welcome comeback, kicked off by his detailed and widely praised character work in “Birdman” (2014). He’s such a familiar, even nostalgic, figure at this point that it’s easy to take his uniqueness for granted. It’s hard to think of another actor capable of, say, the manically riffing poltergeist he played in “Beetlejuice” (1988) and the layered gravitas of a latter-day role like his hard-nosed Boston Globe editor Walter Robinson in “Spotlight” (2015). But no matter the part — and I think this is essential to his appeal — Keaton, who is 69, always exudes an intense (and intensely American) self-reliance, a defiant independence. That quality is on display in various forms in his recent work as a contract killer in the thriller “The Protégé,” released in August; as Kenneth Feinberg, the real-life lawyer in charge of dispensing the 9/11 victims compensation fund in “Worth,” which premieres on Netflix Sept. 3; and as a small-town doctor whose eyes gradually open to the opioid crisis in the Hulu limited series “Dopesick,” slated for release on Oct. 13. “There’s something to getting older,” says Keaton, a digressive and keyed-up talker, who paced nonstop through his Montana home as we spoke via Zoom. “Not only do the roles get a little different, but your interpretation of them might be more interesting too.”

A few years ago in an interview you said that there was a point in your career, I guess it was in the mid-2000s before you sort of disappeared for a while,

I have wide interests, or catholic interests, as they say, and when you’re like that, you reach a point where you go, “OK, I still have to make a living so I have to take certain acting jobs,” and you try to do your best. Then you start to literally get tired of hearing your own voice, and also metaphorically get tired. You kinda go, “Am I a bullshitter right now?” But you say, “Hey, man, I’m fortunate enough to have a gig.” And I pass up a lot of work. I’ve passed up so much work over the years because I was curious about other things. I wanted to live life. Maybe it’s that nothing was coming around that made me interested. But I think work’s real important. I’m looking forward to a time when my work becomes other work, frankly. Like I’m involved with this environmentally conscientious construction company.  I don’t know. Maybe I got bored with acting. That sounds so cavalier: “I was bored.” But I probably did get a little bored with myself. People forget about you, and I’m off doing other things. But I thought: I’ll be all right. Better roles will come around. Then, you know that whole thing of how you can manifest things? It’s doable. Your attitude, how you look at things and what you can create is more in your power than a lot of people think.

What’s the trick?

Here’s the deal: Everything comes down to the question of what do you want? You keep going back to what you want and you go, “Well, I have this,” but, yeah, what do you want? Then you have to drill down and have the balls to say, “If that’s what you really want, then you have to do X.” You know what the rest of it is? Good fortune. A couple of things go your way. Alejandro González Iñárritu calls my agent, and he goes, “I want to talk to him about this movie.” Because I like sports so much I use probably too many sports metaphors, but you gotta get tough and be competitive and not want to lie down. Certain things started coming around for me because I said, “I’m not lying down.” I don’t know. I’m probably overanalyzing it.

So when you asked yourself what you really wanted, what did you come up with?

Dude, dude, dude. We do not have time. We seriously do not have time for that. Trust me. That’s a whole other conversation. I don’t think print serves that question, to be really honest with you. It’s not like a thing you can touch.

OK. But then what do you actually do after you ask yourself what you really want?

You’ll come up with another answer. Then you’ll have to keep asking yourself, Yeah, but what is that? And then if you can live in that — without sounding like I’m saying something that makes me want to go outside and vomit — you kind of raise your consciousness.

I’m not sure I totally follow but — 

Can I add this?

Please.

I’m blessed-slash-cursed with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I keep it there because it’s motivational.      

OK, so to get back on track: You had a period where you would do performances and they wouldn’t ring true? I’m just trying to get a handle.

So you hear yourself speaking, you’re in a scene, and it doesn’t necessarily not ring true, it’s just kind of a sound you’re doing that’s too familiar. I can’t explain it. I think there was a little overall boredom but not with the business — bored with me. Then the next level of that is are you having any fun or are you even really any good right now? So you’d stop, step back and reassess. Do some other things. Frankly the reason — a reason — that a person can be more effective as an actor — boy I hate acting talk.

Indulge me.

You’re the boss. I think you become a better actor if you have a world awareness and if you have experiences and you hear the way people speak. It was also a pride thing, eventually wanting to do more stuff. After a while you kind of go: I got some ammunition left. But I was living. I was doing some things, I was picking up a little bit of work. My attitude was make ’em throw you your pitch. Foul off a few. Take close ones right on the edge of the plate. You go: “Uh-uh. I’m here. I’m a [expletive] hitter.” Then you go, “I can hit that.” So you just hang in there. By the way, I’m not convinced baseball players of all the athletes are the brightest of the bunch.

I know you like to talk in sports metaphors so — 

[Laughs.] You have that tone: “I know you like to talk in sport metaphors. But could you stop?”

No, no. I was going to ask if you could use one to describe where you are in your career now. 

No. I could never describe it. I get embarrassed using the word “career.” Once you start talking like that you have a self-consciousness about it, and it takes away from: What’s the thing you really are supposed to do? What’s the job at hand? What’s your function in life?

There’s a passage in the piece you wrote for that book about fishing, “Astream”(A 2012 collection of nonfiction pieces by American writers on fly fishing.) “If you’re doing it right, the longer you live, the more you become just who you really are.” Are you becoming closer to who you really are? And who is that person?

It’s [expletive]. It’s just [expletive]. I’m so lost, Dave. [Laughs.] No, it’s funny, I was doing this little meditation today, and I was thinking about some version of that. So the answer to that question is, I don’t have any idea.

But when “Birdman” happened — and this was compounded by “Spotlight” also being so acclaimed and following that movie so closely — there was the idea that you had a comeback. Did that change your perspective about what your career had been up to then?

I don’t even like to use the word “career.” It sounds so narcissistic. “My career”; “career-wise.” It sounds pretentious just hearing myself say it now. To be totally honest, it’s not like everybody was knocking on my door. What people don’t know is, I never left; I was always picking up a little gig here and there. Throw a little money in the bank. I’m too antsy to sit around anyway. Fortunately, I’m interested in a lot of other things.

Like what?

I’m a news junkie. I kind of obsess over that, which is not good, and I do my little things under the radar with guys like Jim Messina.  (In November, Keaton was featured in a pro-Biden video aimed at voters in his native Pennsylvania. The spot was created by American Bridge 21st Century, a super PAC that the former Obama deputy chief of staff Jim Messina worked with as an adviser during the 2020 election.) I love nature and being outside. My kid and I are tight. You know, I’m just so lazy. Honest to God. I mean, Thomas McGuane,(The esteemed novelist, who is the author of, among other books, “Ninety-Two in the Shade,” and a neighbor of Keaton’s in Montana.)  he’s an old friend. He told me a while back, he said, You need to write. I thought I would write early on, and I quit because I’m lazy. So I’m doing a little more of that just for me. I’m developing this thing with Jay Roach and Owen Burke and Adam McKay.(Keaton is working with the trio, who have collectively participated in a bunch of smash Hollywood comedies, on an adaptation of a story by the New Yorker journalist Evan Osnos. Keaton declined to elaborate on precisely which story.) That takes up a fair amount of my time. When I get involved like that creatively, I get excited again. Even this interview: I’m not unnecessarily flattering you, but when I get talking about things — I forget how much I like things like this conversation. I start to get stimulated again.

I know there’s an element of randomness to the roles an actor ends up taking, but you’ve done “Dopesick” and “Worth” and “The Trial of the Chicago 7”. all relatively close to each other. Is that indicative of any increased desire to address politics more in your work?

You know, probably. There are things I did because I thought they had to be out there. I’ve always thought, without sounding self-serving here, that it’s important to be able to say, “If it all falls apart tomorrow, at least I did something that maybe meant something to someone.” “Dopesick” is personal. I lost a nephew to heroin. Fentanyl, really. It was my sister’s son. I don’t think I believe that I have a responsibility exactly, but you wouldn’t want to leave the world going: “I could have been a mensch. I could have turned somebody around.” People have come up to me about “My Life”   (Keaton played a man diagnosed with terminal cancer opposite Nicole Kidman in this 1993 tear-jerker) and certain things that I’ve done and commented on what it meant to them. So you can say: “There’s that. At least I did that.”

Was it cathartic to work on “Dopesick”?

Well, I told his mom, my sister, about it after I had already signed on. I was direct and honest with her. I said, “Look, if this wasn’t well written or if they were saying you’ve got to kind of work for free, I’m not going to lie to you and say I would have done it, but, that said, the No. 1 reason I’m doing this is for Michael1111 Keaton’s nephew, also named Michael. and you and for everyone out there, because it’s important.” Then what happens is once you get going you’re locked in. There were moments where we were reading the script, and you would say, “Jeez, this is Michael’s story.” But that’s not the job at hand. The job at hand is to be the doctor and get back to work.

The doctor in “Dopesick” or Ken Feinberg in “Worth” are both sort of authority figures, which can be said of a lot of the characters you’ve played since “Birdman.” But earlier in your career — sorry for using that word — pretty much from “Night Shift” to “The Paper” you tended to play anti-authority types. What accounts for that change?

I totally know what you’re saying. I don’t know that I’ve thought about that specifically. Now, there’s probably some kind of stupid pride that would make me say, man, the guy in “The Paper” is certainly not like the guy in “Night Shift,” and “Beetlejuice” wasn’t like anything else. “Mr. Mom” was different. “Multiplicity” is one of my favorites, too, and that’s different.

“Tuck tuck fold.”

[Laughs.] Man, I miss that stuff so much. To see how far I could push Andie McDowell, to see if I could get her to break. What’s really interesting about you saying that is, man, do I miss — it sounds egotistical — being funny.

I’ve watched some of your old stand-up  (Keaton’s first career in show business was as a stand-up comedian in the mid-to-late ’70s. That is, if you don’t count the crew work he did before that on “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.”) but you know what really killed me? Watching your Letterman appearances from the early ’80s. The conversation between you two is just joke after joke after joke, and the one time where you came on walking on your hands? The energy level is just — it’s very cocaine.

I don’t get to talk about this very often with people. I’m actually enjoying this. First of all — 100 percent true — absolutely no cocaine was involved. I’m not trying to save any kind of reputation. I’m just saying.

Oh, sorry, I was joking. I was just commenting on the vibe.

No, no, no. I do realize what you noticed because I remember being on a movie with someone — I’m not going to say who, they’re friends of mine now — and I found out years later they assumed I was on something, and they got worried. They thought, Jeez what if we get shut down? But even talking to you now, I feel myself getting revved up. I get like that. I’ve been like that since I was a little kid. It’s probably annoying to some people. I miss that stuff with Letterman and those guys. When I hear people talk about stand-up, no one really gets — unless you’re in that world — what that world really is; what you have to do if you want to be really good and how serious it can get. I was always afraid that the fun would go away. I was always afraid that I’d “catch the disease.”

The disease of being a morose comic?

Basically. The crazy that’s a lot of times in there and the self-involvement and, at the time, the friggin’ cocaine, which was everywhere.

I read some old magazine profile of you where you made passing mention about bombing as a young comedian onstage in Las Vegas. Is there a story there?

Yes. I pretty much — and I’m not saying this out of, well, wait a minute, maybe I am saying it out of braggadocio. I don’t know. Let me hear myself say it. Maybe I am. I’m really not bragging: What little act I had, I knew that some parts of it worked. They just did. So at the time Cher — if you’re enough of an entertainment nerd you’ll probably remember there was this phase where Cher really wanted to be a rocker, and she’s kind of not. She’s Cher.

She was playing the part, though.

Yeah, and this was in old Vegas. You look at the acts in Vegas now? They could be down in the West Village. Then, that wasn’t it. That was not it. I think her thinking was, Let’s go hipper, let’s go young, because I’m Cher and I’m going to do my rock tunes. So somebody said, “You gotta go see this guy” — me. She sees me and says: “He’s funny. Let’s take him.” So I go “Cool.” Meanwhile if you drove down the Strip and looked at the marquees, who the names were, they were comics that not even my dad would — just older guys. I’m not saying good or bad; a totally different thing. So I go, OK, I’m kind of scared, but I pretty much know this material works. It doesn’t bomb. It just doesn’t. It’s not like people were writhing on the floor with laughter ever but I go, no, this works. Then I started to get a feel for Vegas and I’m going, Oh, boy. But I thought, Well, they’re going to see Cher so I don’t have to do a lot of time. Then she started telling me how much time she wanted me to do, and I went, [expletive], I don’t have this. And backstage the curtains were like 40 feet high. It was like, Whoa, wait a minute, this is big. Then you get onstage, and they’re there to see Cher. They’re still eating, all you hear is silverware and people mumbling things like, “Hey, I didn’t order Thousand Island.” You’re up there and they go: “Who is this kid? Why is he bothering us?” I remember starting with some kind of architecture-related joke.

Those usually kill.

[Laughs.] Oh, people love architecture bits. It was death, and I had never experienced death. I remember sweat literally running down my back. By the way, the architecture thing was totally stupid in retrospect. It’s not even funny. So anyway, that was traumatic. I always felt like I disappointed Cher. She’s great though.

I have a “Batman” question: When I rewatched “Batman” (This film and its sequel — both huge commercial successes — were directed by Tim Burton, who had previously directed Keaton in “Beetlejuice.” Keaton and Burton both declined to revisit Batman for “Batman Forever” (1995). They did reunite on “Dumbo” in 2019.) and “Batman Returns” it seemed to me as if there was a progression from one film to the next in how you played Bruce Wayne. Picking that character up again 30-ish years later in “The Flash,”  (Keaton will reprise his role as Bruce Wayne and Batman in this film, currently slated for a 2022 release)  are you playing him as a continuation of that same guy or are you starting from scratch?

That’s a really good question. I’m not being cute: When I hear you speak I go, “I have a feeling he knows more about Bruce Wayne than I do.” I don’t know if I thought about it that much. Maybe I did. The first “Batman” I didn’t think was going to happen because when Tim Burton called me, he said, “I want to talk about this thing.” I go, “Cool, what do you got?” He tells me and I go, “Wow.” He said, “Go home and read this script.” We had developed a relationship. We’re pals to this day. So I went home and read it, and I went, “I don’t think he’s going to want me to do this after I say what I think.” Then we met and I go, “I think the character is this, this, this and this.” I remember Tim’s hair was really long, and he’s looking at me, and as I’m talking his hair is flapping up and down, like nodding woo woo, and I went, I guess he’s thinking like I’m thinking. So I say, “OK, let’s do it.” Then everybody was saying, “Oh, my God, the world’s going to end.”  (There was a negative fan outcry after it was first announced that Keaton would play Batman. The general gist being that the actor — best known back then for his comedic roles — lacked sufficient seriousness to play the comic-book character.)  I thought, Really? Do people think that there’s anything to be outraged about?

You know people take superhero movie stuff even more seriously than Jesus these days, right?

I do. It’s crazy. But doing it again was in a way more fun than any other time. I think I invested myself more. Honestly, I’m probably too frightened to phone anything in. I would phone something in if I could. I just can’t allow it to happen. The kind of athletes I’ve always liked are the grinders. Guys who just said: “[Expletive] you. I’m going down hard.” So I thought about the character again, and I thought, OK, if you’re going to do it, don’t be a dick. Go to work. Do the thing. I don’t know how you are about this, but I never got the whole fascination with the superhero thing. We can laugh at the people who obsess but it’s none of my business what people think. Their interests are their interests. I didn’t want to disrespect it. I thought, Hey, man, embrace it. Be a professional and do everything a professional’s supposed to — but, well, all my conversations with Andy, (Andrés Muschietti, director of “The Flash.”) a couple things he wanted me to do I go, “Nah, I’m not doing that.” By the way, I’m talking about two little things where I said, “No, that’s not the character.” Because you have to honor that guy. After all these years, if you’re going to do this again, be respectful to the character and the movie. And Andy was right about a lot of stuff that I’d thought: I don’t know if you should do that with this guy. It’s all pulpy and everything, but Bruce Wayne’s an interesting character.

You know, I hadn’t realized that you and Tim Burton were still pals, and now I’m mentally stuck on the possibility of him all gothed out going fly-fishing with you in Montana.

[Laughs.] You know, the imagery does seem weird. I will tell you, here’s the thing about Tim Burton that a lot of people don’t know: Because he has certain mannerisms and personality and what his art looks like, I think there’s a little misperception. He’s refreshingly way more normal than people — I don’t know if normal is the right word but you know what I mean.

I’m going to keep sidetracking now — that’s your influence, by the way.

That’s good. That’s real good. Did you ever read “Tarantula”?

The Bob Dylan book? Yeah.  (Dylan’s prose-poetry collection, published by Macmillan in 1971. Here’s how it starts: “aretha/ crystal jukebox queen of hymn & him diffused in drunk transfusion wound would heed sweet soundwave crippled & cry salute.”)

A guy like you probably said, “I understand all of this.” [Laughs.] I don’t even know if that’s a good book, but I remember when I read it, I was going, Wow, Dylan’s really deep. Then I went, But what is he talking about? Anyway, go ahead.

You got a good fishing story?

We were all hanging the other day — who was I talking to? Oh, I’ll tell ya! I was with my friend Skip Herman, who I fish with. Huey was there.

Huey? You don’t mean Huey Lewis?

Huey Lewis, yeah. Excellent angler. I think he had a scholarship to Cornell and —

The fishing story?

Oh, sorry. We’re sitting around telling these stories, how fly fishermen do, and I said, “Most of my fishing stories, they’re seldom about catching fish.” However, probably the best fish I ever caught was a steelhead up in British Columbia with a broken rod that I had to hold together in two pieces. When I say I chased this fish down: in and out of a drift boat five or six times. And when I say I chased this fish down: giant, hot white-water stretch of the Sustut in British Columbia, for about over an eighth of a mile, maybe closer to a quarter of a mile, and landed it with a broken rod. A buddy of mine who was a rod builder, I’ve never told him that his rod broke. He’ll take it well, he’s a good guy. You know, I probably do have some fishing stories. Maybe I’ll tell ya another time.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity from two conversations.