#and i think that's a REALLY easy thing to feel because creating is also vulnerable & physically difficult and there is SOOOO much to master

[mister13eyond]

talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"

like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like

imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.

i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.

[yo-yoringle]

Neil Newbon on Ascended Astarion

Neil: I do love the fact that I got to create kind of two characters in one.

Blue Owl Medic: I was just thinking that. Yeah, you did.

Neil: So now that the game has come out and the whole thing, we can talk a little bit more freely about the game. No real spoilers, folks, because obviously people are still playing through it, which is amazing, including me. But there is an ascended Astarion, which people probably know, as well as an unascended Astarion. I'm not going to go into details of why, although it is all over the internet, but anyway.

But one of the fun things that I got to do with the directors and the writer as well, with Stephen, and also the other writers that contributed towards Astarion, [is that they] wrote this ascended storyline. And so, when I came across that, I realized that 'Oh, his voice probably changes as well, because his whole status changes and his whole situation changes and his power changes.' So I got to do something else, because that would also be an easy way to switch between one and the other.

And so I decided that, well, I've always talked about Astarion being very theatrical. So what if Astarion's unascended spawn is theatrical, and ascended Astarion is operatic, and I use that as a sort of launchpad. So that one is theatre, one is opera. So the two are the same kind of things, but essentially… Do you know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing.

I offered that up to the directors and they really liked it. Kirsty Gilmore was the first person who I tried it with. I think it was Kirsty Gilmore, who is an amazing director. I'm pretty sure it was her session I did the first Lord Astarion and we set the tone there. And that was really cool.

BOM: And I don't know if that was your choice, but he also holds himself differently.

Neil: Yes, he does, he definitely holds himself differently.

BOM: He stands way more upright, his chest is a little more out

Neil: Yes, that's status. That's all Laban work. We're just using completely different status shift changes as well. So whereas he has a lot of flow and all that kind of stuff and it's theatrical and distracting--it's always 'look over here and don't see how I really feel' with spawn Astarion.

With Lord Astarion, we talked a lot about the idea that the cover is now off completely. So that you see him at his most terrible, and it's completely honest and he doesn't have to pretend anymore. So he loses a lot of the flamboyance and the fun of the theatricality, which is all a distraction anyway. That's all distraction so you don't see how he's hurt and damaged and his vulnerability. Lord Astarion doesn't need that anymore. So we just thought, okay, now *mimics taking off a mask* it's off. He doesn't need to pretend, he doesn't need to do too much. It's all about the status and that kind of stuff.

It was a really fun experience to take a character I've been doing for a long time and then flip it. And that was, again, brilliant writing by Larian, brilliant storytelling by them all and brilliant ideas. So yeah, it was really fun.

--from Neil's February 1, 2024 twitch stream

[hyperactively-me]

king!ghost x reader -- learning, growing

A few days have passed since Simon almost kissed you. 

With him, around him, you felt more comfortable, more at ease. It wasn���t easy getting to this point with him, but spending time with him has strengthened you in ways you could have never imagined. 

The palace, once a place of hostility and responsibility, began to feel like a true home filled with kindness and understanding. Time spent together was precious, and you cherished each moment of vulnerability. The late-night conversations and the quiet, whispered laughter in the corridors all contributed to the connection you had forged.

Simon's loyalty and strength became even more apparent as you got to know him. He was a king who would move heaven and earth to protect his people, especially his friends, and he was also a man who would move mountains for you. He made you feel cherished and secure, and your affection for him deepened with each passing day.

One evening, while you were curled up on the couch, Simon spoke candidly about his past. “I've always been so focused on my duty as a king that I never really had the chance to explore my own interests or hobbies. But since you came into my life, I’ve noticed the way you do all of these things, and I admire you for that.”

Your eyes twinkled with happiness as you listened intently. “Aw, really? Lil ole me?"

He smiled, his eyes reflecting a genuine enthusiasm. “Well, for one, I've developed a newfound love for books. I’m always lookin’ over your shoulder when you read, y’know.”

You couldn't help but grin at his admission, your eyes lighting up. “Aww, I’m glad that you think so, Simon.” 

Simon nods. “And I've realized that there's so much more I want to explore. I know there has to be something out there for me.” 

Your heart swelled with pride at his willingness to embrace new experiences. “I think that's wonderful, Simon. You should explore whatever makes you happy."

He also asked questions about your own interests and hobbies, wanting to understand you. You shared your love for gardening with him, and soon, you both started tending to a small garden in the palace courtyard. He was definitely hesitant at first, never really confident in his abilities in the garden, but over time, you taught him how to nurture the plants. Simon's dedication, his strong hands carefully tending to each flower and shrub, was something you’d never thought you’d see. It was so sweet seeing him try something new just because you liked it. 

A few days have passed since your little moment on the couch before he was pulled away from  you because of his responsibilities as king. It was after dinner, the sun was setting, and you wanted to watch the sunset. 

Hand in hand, you made your way through the dimly lit corridors, your heart fluttering as he pushed open a balcony door for you. The sky was painted in hues of orange and pink, the sun casting a golden shimmer across the landscape. You stepped onto the balcony, the cool breeze tousling your hair, and the soft rustling of leaves in the palace gardens creating a soothing ambiance.

Simon stands next to you, his presence comforting. With his arm around your waist, he pulls you closer, his eyes fixed on the horizon.

“I—,” he starts, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid to disturb the delicate peace of the evening.

You nestle against him, feeling the warmth of his body, and the reassuring beat of his heart. “What?” you question softly. 

“I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers, his voice husky with emotion. 

You smiled, feeling the same overpowering attraction. “Nor can I,” you admitted, your hands coming to wrap around his waist.

“No, I mean it. You…there’s no words to describe how much you’ve grown to mean to me,” he trails off. He pulls you into his chest, hands coming down to rest on your waist. 

Simon's thumb gently caressed your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes filled with longing. “Every moment with you, I just feel…fulfilled,” he murmured.

“Simon—"

“No, don’t say anything, just— let me…” he leans in, lowering his head down, mere centimeters from your face. Your heart races in your chest, threatening to sprint right out.

"Kiss me," you nearly beg, gripping onto him tightly.

And with a small breath, he captures your lips in a searing kiss.

His arms envelope you in a tight, secure embrace, pulling you right up against him, and you melt into his touch. You grab onto his shirt, bunching the fabric as you push up on your toes to reach him easier. The world outside seemed to disappear as you explore each other's mouths, savoring the taste with every kiss you give him. 

He groans slightly as your arms come up around his neck, tugging gently at the hair on the nape of his neck. He squeezes the flesh of your waist as he presses into you. Suddenly, he flips you, pressing you against the bar of the balcony, kissing you like a man starved. He cups the back of your head, one arm secure around your waist to make sure you don’t fall. He would never let go of you, never let you fall, and you know it. Your mouth tastes so good, feels like velvet, like everything and more he imagined it to be. He pulls away for a moment, his breath hot as he lets out small pants. He licks his swollen lips, eyes not parting from yours. 

“Simon–”

He groans, then pushes his face into your neck.

“Darlin’, if you say my name one more time, I’m not going to be able to hold myself back,” he mumbles into your skin, breathing in your scent.

You still as he speaks, hands coming up to scratch his back gently. You had never gone this far with a man, no, not even back at home. This was something you had never experienced before, something that meant more than just a simple kiss. Something more. 

“Okay,” you say, your voice barely a whisper. 

He kisses your neck, leaving sloppy open-mouthed kisses along your sensitive skin. He pulls away suddenly, his hands still locked around your frame.

“Was it too much?” he asks, stroking his thumb against you over your clothes.

“No, no, it’s just, I’ve never– I’ve never done this before,” you say softly. “But, I’m glad it was with you. It couldn’t have been more perfect,” you say, stroking the contours of his face.

You speak gently, knowing what he was insinuating with his words. “Do you want to…?”

“No, no, not like this, not now” he says quickly. “You deserve better than something quick. You deserve to be treated with respect.” 

You nod slowly, warmth creeping up your cheeks.

“And I thank you for respecting me all this time,” you say, smiling softly at him. “But, right now, I want to do this. With you. And only with you.”

His heart rate picks up as he takes in your words. The moment he’s been waiting for. For your permission. For your yes.

He would show you what you deserve.

- - - - -

(masterlist) 

[maccreadysbaby]

Do you still do writing tips?? Cause I need tips on writing a child (12/13) who’s been trained to be living weapon their whole life??

OH MY GOD YES. I LOVE YOU.

this is a massive post I’m sorry

Writing a Child Who was Raised to be a Weapon

tw just for abuse, eating disorders, and the like mentioned below

NOW. This is one of my favorite archetypes used in modern media, if you couldn’t tell by my batfamily oc insert (little mister was-only-kept-alive-to-destroy-bruce-wayne. hi there, bentley, love you!)

While this is a very compelling and interesting type of character to create and flesh out, it’s easy to brush over some of the inner dialogue and thought patterns these children would have, because most people irl don’t have them. (Unless you were raised as a super assassin, in which case, please don’t kill me, and I love you)

The bottom line is, the characters entire personality and dynamic with other people relies on what background you give them. And that’s where I come in! Hi, I’m maccreadysbaby, and I’m going to propose some of the routes you can take in writing these cute little (deadly) guys!

COMMUNICATION ↴

none of these children are going to communicate normally, because they aren’t normal. they weren’t raised with a family, or good support system. they might:

be terrified of others. slow to trust. especially if you’re writing a child who was abused when they failed. for example, my oc, bentley, was horrified to be in proximity with any of bruce wayne’s family because he was afraid they would hurt him like his father did. he was afraid to cry in front of them, afraid to admit he was tired or sick or scared, afraid to ask for help, afraid to speak first, because it was all things he’d gotten punished for before. they might also have a terrible relationship with failure, because failure brings pain, and could potentially crumble if they fail or think they’re going to fail whatever they’re doing. (a mission, an assassination, or simple things like a school test or a task someone asked them to complete.) maybe they’re really good at holding it together and pretending they aren’t scared, but after all, they’re just kids. the cracks in their mask are gonna show one way or another.

shut people out. this could be from fear, or from being taught relationships are bad and makes them weak and vulnerable. they might not communicate because they don’t want to have another potential weak spot. they might keep their distance, stay quiet, not come out often. they might come across as cold and heartless, but it’s really them just trying to protect themselves, be it from pain, from the idea of eventual heartbreak, etc. but there is a problem with shutting people out, and it’s that they’re also shutting themselves in, like a prison. kids who choose to shut people out and bottle up everything they feel are slightly more prone to emotional outbursts and breakdowns. especially if they’re fairly young.

learn different ways to communicate, such as sign language, their actions, body language, etc. they won’t do it like everybody else and that’s okay! you can take so many liberties with this. maybe they make origami swans and leave them on the nightstands of people they decide they like. maybe they highlight lines in books and leave them places to tell someone how they feel. maybe they’re an absolute little jerkhole that’s mean to everyone because they weren’t taught how to do it any differently. maybe they’re insanely submissive people-pleasers that do everything asked of them because they were created to take orders. the possibilities are endless. go on an adventure!

be overly trusting. you typically see this in characters on the younger end of the spectrum, but you can drag it up into teenagers, too. a child that’s been abused or suppressed in any way, physically, emotionally, or mentally might decide they wholeheartedly trust the first person who is nice to them, who doesn’t cause them pain. there might even be a little bit of lag time between the meeting and the kindness and the trusting, but when it comes, it comes full force to the face. they’d trust these people to protect their lives and might even cling to them, or run to them as an escape from whoever raised them. (assuming they are afraid of the people who raised them.) they might even allow themselves to open up and become more than just a human weapon in the presence of these lucky folks.

believe that they’re superior to everyone else. obviously they are a higher class, a finer type of person. they can kill in seconds, they’re a master at martial arts, they can have an adult wrapped around their finger within the first minute of meeting them, they can make a person cave with a single sentence, they’re just better. better than all these civilians who let their emotions get in the way, who let other people walk all over them and boss them around. they’re too good for that. this is also a great one to add in some angst. arrogance and pride are often founded on the feelings of uselessness, worthlessness, or that they can’t (or don’t deserve to) be loved. it’s like a defense mechanism. no one likes me — obviously it’s because of my blindingly obvious superiority. they’re so much better that they don’t need love, kindness, care. (but yes, they actually do. they’ll probably break down crying or throw someone across the room the moment it’s given because it opens their eyes to the fact that they’re literally freaking starving for it like they haven’t eaten in their entire lives. my GOD give these kids a hug.)

FOOD ↴

i know this seems random, but it’s something you need to know about your character because it heavily impacts their mental state, mannerisms, energy, and health. chances are being raised as a weapon, they won’t have a stable relationship with food or eating. here are some examples of how you could make them!

refusing to eat. if your child character has had bad experiences in the past regarding food, such as someone using food to manipulate them (if you don’t do this you don’t get food.), torture them (purposefully feeding them something that makes them sick or have an allergic reaction, even poisoned food.), or if there are bad memories tied to eating (always getting fed before terrible missions, or before days locked somewhere, torture sessions, punishments, etc.) your child may not want to eat at all. after all, these are still just kids and they’re going to try and avoid everything that can trigger negative feelings, memories, or circumstances. if food is one of them, your other characters are probably going to have to help reassure them that they can eat and need to (if they’re in the presence of nice characters.) if you’re wanting to go a more severe route, you can even write them getting diagnosed with anorexia (an eating disorder that heavily involves not eating at all.) but of course, you don’t have to. (i didn’t.) just remember, they are growing kids and are going to be hungry whether they like it or not. but they will try to hide it if hunger has been used against them, which is a good point for hurt/comfort writing, since hunger can cause anything as small and embarrassing as their stomach growling loudly in front of everybody to severe stomach cramps (like your organs being tied in a terribly tight knot), vomiting, and fainting. all things considered, you can take a more severe route, or just write about them working with the help of friends to get up to a better food intake level and higher weight.

struggling to eat. if your child has not been fed properly for most or all of their lives, and then are put into a homelife where they have food at their disposal, they still might struggle with it. (for example, my character, bentley, was severely starved by his father for the first ten years of his life and when he gets put into a new home, he struggles to eat much at all and sometimes feels sick when he eats ‘too much’, even though he should be eating more in general.) of course, this comes with a host of complications and all the symptoms that come with malnutrition, not to mention that they won’t even be close to the size they’re supposed to be. (bentley was the size of a 6-7 year old at the ages of 9&10.) this is similar to the last bullet point in the sense that you can go the more serious anorexia route, or the kind people helping them stay on track route

over-eating. this one is more common for youngsters who didn’t have access to food most of their lives, but it wasn’t used against them or withheld from them by another person. (a good example would be a child trained in an area where people routinely don’t have access to food.) this is highly derived from food insecurity, where they think they have to eat everything they’re given because they don’t know when they’ll eat next. (this can also be used for characters in the bullet point above.) this also can cause health issues and routine sickness. (for example, my character, asten (11yrs), who lived in a poverty stricken part of his city and barely ate outside of school, routinely eats himself sick when he has access to food because he’s been starving without it.) this food insecurity can also lead to extreme emetophobia (fear of vomiting) because they don’t want to lose what they do have in them, which can pose a massive problem when this child is either so empty or so full that they need to throw up. so, if they’re put into a household where they have access to food, it might be a constant stream of stomach aches and nights spent in the bathroom while the person helps reassure them that they will always have food and they don’t have to eat it all now. (sorry this is gross but it needs to be said.)

here is a drabble that i wrote recently involving a malnourished child due to poverty, with his internal dialogue and thought processes, if that will help any of you.

ANXIETY / PTSD ↴

oh boy. these kids will have it, given how they’ve been raised. the question is in how they treat it and deal with it.

hiding it. maybe they were trained to see fear and anxiousness as weakness. the flinch when someone moves too fast, the tightness in their chest at a certain noise, the inability to breathe if they see someone’s face, they’re going to hide it because their fine and they’re tough. no one has to know that they have nightmares every night and cry when they’re alone. you can even extend this into anxiety/asthma/panic attacks that they keep hidden. (typically by leaving social settings when they feel it coming on.) no one has to know that they’re so weak. they might lash out in anger or irritation if they’re routinely asked if they’re okay because they need these people to back off before they fall apart in front of them. they might have little mannerisms that other people might notice for calming or showing anxiety, like biting their nails, bouncing their leg, pinching themselves, quietly doing breathing exercises, etc. PTSD will come more like nightmares and anxiety attacks and flashbacks, and they can’t always hide those no matter how much they want to. the severity of anxiety and PTSD depends on how graphic you make their backstory. (for example, my character, bentley, has nightmares of being abused, which he breaks down crying after. in his instances, he’s never alone. similarly, he once started crying when he saw christmas decorations similar to those his abuser used to have, and he has his first anxiety attack when he sees his abuser in public) you can keep the character secretive about it or let them have a big old breakdown in front of someone else, your choice.

not hiding it at all. if they’re with someone they trust, they might just let loose. (that’s what happened to bentley once he learned his new family didn’t care if he looked weak and wanted to help him) they might tell someone when they’re feeling scared or anxious or bad in any way. they might just cry right in front of them when they have to and have attacks with someone close and all the things because they’re not alone anymore and these people want to help. it might take a while for them to get to this point, and no one blames them. (for example, bentley was really anxious for school so he went to his new guardians room in the middle of the night) and remember, any steps these kiddos take closer to asking for help is HUGE! make sure your other characters encourage them and let them know they’re proud for reaching out :)

keep in mind that if they’ve never been talked to about it, they might have no freaking clue what’s going on if they have an attack of some sort, and will probably need someone to explain to them what’s going on and that they aren't going to die.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk! If you have more specific questions send them in anon!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

miles kane, swg3 glasgow 01/02/2024

oh my god oh my GOD i don't even know where to start. last night was hands down not just one of the best gigs of my life, but one of the best nights of my life full stop. it's twenty four hours later and my heart just feels so full and i still can't stop smiling with pure happiness 🥹 i've been to a LOT of gigs over the years, and a lot of those have been really amazing gigs too - but this one. wow. there was truly just something so special about this one that i know i'll carry with me for a long time to come 💗

i feel like i could ramble endlessly about all the things that made it so incredible (i.e. literally everything), so to try and avoid writing an actual essay, here are a few bullet points of my favourite things:

being right in the front row was AMAZING for obvious reasons, but also because of the number of times miles made eye contact with me and smiled at me as he was singing 😭 (naturally any time this happened i smiled back like a total idiot and forgot all the words) me and the lovely human i was there with were the only ones at the barrier who were really getting into it at the start, and i got the sense he loved seeing how much we were loving being there 💗

miles just has the most incredible energy ✨ that's absolutely something you pick up from listening to his music, watching interview etc - but it's quite something else to experience in person. the moment he walks into a room he just gives off such good vibes and such warmth. there's such a sense of groundedness to him as well as all the amazing passion, and also idk. i feel like in person you can really feel the sensitivity and vulnerability that's so present in his music too. he truly lights up a room and just has such a knack for holding everyone captive 💫

getting to witness miles being overwhelmed and unable to stop smiling at how enthusiastic the crowd was truly wonderful 🥹 you could just *feel* how much it all meant to him, and watching him get all the love and appreciation he deserves was just magic 💖

at the end, he came down into the crowd towards me and was making direct eye contact and then he FUCKING SPOKE TO ME??????? 😭 i was too dazed to actually take in what he was saying (i'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of "i like your necklace" but honestly who knows lol), and it was very brief because naturally i wasn't the only person in the crowd he was saying hi to, but fucking HELL. i was totally, totally unprepared 😭 i then had the privilege of a sweaty miles kane leaning over me to high five the people behind me, and i held his hand and - yeah. it was all so truly surreal that i might think i'd imagined it if it wasn't for the fact i can literally see the moment in this video 😭

i was there with @perfectly-clear-from-here and we were both just utterly ECSTATIC after the show, it was amazing getting to share the sheer giddy joy of all that with one of the loveliest humans i know 💜

and then of course (as if all of that wasn't already enough to make it the most wonderful night), we MET MILES after the show 😭😭 i've already rambled about that here so i won't do it again, but - yeah. let's just say he truly is the most wonderful person with the loveliest energy, and he is so easy to be around 🥹

the last six months or so have not been easy ones for me, and this felt like the most wonderful break in the clouds that just - idk. really restored me to myself. it was so special to get to experience live so many of the amazing songs that have got me through and been such a comfort in the difficult times, and i am just so endlessly grateful to miles for his courage in creating and sharing all that he shares 💗

**please do not repost my photos without permission**

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 1

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. I’m not good with synopses, so sorry about that.

This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger sister, when the world ended she had Lori, Carl and Shane. But did she really have them? Her brother was dead, her sister-in-law was sleeping with her brother’s best friend and her nephew was just a small kid. She had him, Daryl Dixon was no knight in a shining armor and she was no damsel in distress, but maybe they were exactly what each other needed.

*gif is not mine, credits on the gif.

Chapter 1: Vulnerable

Summary: Y/N sees something she wasn’t supposed to see, she need to vent about it but she can’t do it with Lori or Shane, because they are the main reason about it. So she goes to the woods hoping to find some peace.

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, kinda angsty, a little bit of fluffy, comfort, mentions of death, mentions of violence

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader

Word Count: 2,072

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with a lot of love.

Chapter 2

It was again one more boiling hot day in the Quarry near Atlanta, you thought the temperature would for sure kill you, but there was another thing threatening to take your life and it wasn’t a Zombie.

Before everything, before the world ended, life wasn’t easy. You wanted it to be, but you were living one of the worst moments of your life. You had just lost your job as a vet because you couldn’t save a rich man’s cat and he demanded that you were fired. You felt bad for the poor cat, for your lost job, for your name as a professional that was now forever marked and also for your dog a female German Shepherd called Luna that had to see you not acting like your usual self.

On top of that your older brother, Rick, got shot working… he was a Sheriff’s Deputy. That’s what made you stop feeling sorry for yourself, because you couldn’t. You needed to see your brother laying on a hospital bed in comma, you had to hold things together and take care of Carl and Lori.

Lori and Carl had you, but you had no one, Carl was just a kid and Lori couldn’t even take care of herself at the moment. There was Shane, he was like a brother to you, but even with him there… it was as if you were alone. You just had Luna.

You went to their house and stayed there, you were going to stay until Rick got better, yes, he was going to get better and you would stay just a little bit more to help during his recovery, and everything was going to be fine again. But it never was. The world ended. The dead were walking as if they were alive and Rick died.

Now you lived in a Quarry with Lori, Carl, Shane and a bunch of other survivors. Most of people were pleasant and easy to live with, the exception was Ed, Carol’s husband and Merle Dixon, Daryl’s brother, but this was the apocalypse and you don’t have much choice on the people that are going to be around you.

It had been almost two months since everything happened and the camp was created, almost two months your brother had died… and today, while you were picking some wood, you saw something that felt as if someone was pulling your guts out of your stomach and squeezing your heart.

Lori and Shane. Not Lori and Shane friendly doing what they usually do, they were in the middle of the forest, fucking, and there was no other word you’d use to describe it other than fucking. There wasn’t even two months Rick died, and his best friend and wife were fucking.

You felt nauseated, you went back the same direction you came and knew you had to do something to calm down. You couldn’t afford causing an scene or any uncomfortable situation, you could not hurt Carl.

“Hey! Aunt Y/N, did you already pick all the woods?” Carl shouted to you from the spot he was, playing with Sophia and Luna, Carol watching them.

“Er… wood wasn’t good that side, I’m going to the other side see if I find anything better.” You gave a lame excuse, you just wanted to be alone, cry all this shit out, in silence cause you didn’t want anyone to know and you didn’t want to attract any walkers near the camp.

“Can you look after them a little more, Carol?” You asked the woman, you were sure she was not going to say no, she loved being with the kids and even with Luna.

“Sure, don’t worry.” She said, you nodded and then walked to the opposite side from where you came the fastest as possible, looking down so others wouldn’t see you had started to cry.

You walked until you found a place far enough so no one would find you, but not so far that you would have any trouble. You had a gun and knife, you knew how to defend yourself, but you couldn’t make it easy to the dead to kill you, you were not that dumb.

You sat behind a tree, brought your knees to your chest and hid your face crying. Your thoughts were racing and all you could think was about what you saw, your brother and how you missed him. You listened to some light leaves hustle, but You didn’t give it importance, thinking it was probably the wind, it was so light that it couldn’t be a walker. So you continued minding your own business crying what you had to cry so you could look at your sister-in-law’s face without letting her know how upset you were.

“Ya shouldn’t be out here vulnerable like that” you jumped startled by the redneck’s voice. ‘So that was him,’ you thought, ‘of course, only he could walk with light steps, he was a hunter after all.’ You wiped your tears, not that it would help they were still falling and there wasn’t anything you could do to stop them.

“I’m not vulnerable, I just needed some time alone.” You answered, he was really trying to not be too rough on you given to your situation, but his lack of tact was something he had much difficulty to overcome.

“Ya could cry in your tent, it’s safer”

“I don’t wanna Carl and Lori to see me cry. I don’t wanna have to explain myself, things would get bad if I had to. I don’t wanna upset Carl.” You sniffed, that was one of the worst parts of crying, getting a damn runny nose.

“Shane can’t help?” He asked, you didn’t know but he probably already had some idea of the reason you were crying.

“He’s part of the problem Dixon, if I could I’d punch him and kick his balls” you answered, tears still running down but a little bit calmer.

“Did ya see him and…” he didn’t finish the question, because you completed it for him.

“Lori? Yeah”

Talking about them made you remember everything you saw and how it hurt you. You were still mourning Rick, and Shane and Lori apparently were already moving on. What hurt the most is that even mad at both of them, you still loved them. Lori was like a big sister, a sister that you wish you had while growing up, and Shane? He was your brother he taught you how to defend yourself, he gave you shooting classes, he brought you home the first time you got drunk and even took care of you while you were hangover. When Rick wasn’t there, he was. At this moment you hated him as much as you loved him.

“Do you know if anyone else know about them?” You asked after a long time, you were so lost that you didn’t even noticed that Daryl walked a bit ahead and stoped with his back turned to you. He wanted to give you privacy to cry, but he also couldn’t leave you behind, it was dangerous to you staying so vulnerable at the forest. He knew you could defend yourself, but you didn’t even listened him approaching, you sure were not going to listen to a walker too.

“I don’t know. Probably not. I’m much into the woods, so I caught them a few times.” He answered at distance, not turning to look back at you. “Do ya like him?” Daryl asked and right after he just regretted having opened his mouth, why would he ask such an intimate thing to you? He should just stay there and make sure you’d go back alive to the camp.

“Ew! No! He’s like a brother to me. We grew up together.” You answered disgusted to the idea of liking Shane any other way. “It’s not that. My brother, he died. Well, you probably know. And I know Lori needs to continue living and they are adults, but there’s not even 2 months and she moved on that fast and Shane… he was his best friend. I’m still mourning him, the world still doesn’t make any sense without him here and they are already fucking. I know I’m being selfish and emotional but…” you spoke so much that you had already lost your line of thought. Daryl was probably tired of you, he wasn’t one to talk much, but here you were opening all your thoughts to him.

“It’s about yer brother. Ya have the right to feel.” He understood, he had never lost his brother and he hoped he’d not lose him anytime soon. Merle was a dick, and he made him mad most of the time, but he was his brother, so he understood you.

You wiped your tears, calmer and ready to continue. You were still mad and sad about everything, but now you didn’t feel like you were going to die anymore, you were not suffocated. You got up, shook the dirt from your pants and approached the archer.

“I was going to take some wood for fire. I don’t want to go back empty handed. Can you help me?” Now you gave a look at him, and noticed he had some rabbits and squirrels hanging from a rope. He was being essential to maintain everyone fed, he was not one to be socializing around the camp, but he was good and you could see it.

He just nodded and started walking by your side collecting the good woods he found along the way. “Thank you.” You said collecting a branch that you saw.

“For what? I didn’t even take the woods to the camp.” Did he not understand or was he faking?

“Not about the woods. Well, that too… but thank you for staying with me and talk to me, you didn’t have to” ‘but you did’, you completed in your thoughts. “Also, thank you for always bringing us food. I don’t know if I ever told you that.” He grunted, sometimes you wish you could know what he was thinking, you never knew if his grunts mean something good or bad.

“No need to thank me” he never knew how to react at moments like that. Should he say thanks back? Should he give another compliment?

Soon you returned to the camp, he helped you put the woods near the makeshift kitchen and was going to clean the rabbits and squirrels so they could be cooked.

“Luna likes you” you said, you saw how your dog acted around him. He was a little surprised with the comment. “You can take her with you when you want, I see that you like her too.” You smiled, a beautiful one just as if you were not broken or had cried your soul an hour ago.

“She likes my food too” he joked, it was not intentional but after what he said he even got a little smile at the corner of his mouth for some seconds. You giggled before answering.

“I know, she makes the cutest puppy eyes. It’s not her fault if you can’t resist her charms.” He snorted and for some seconds, just few seconds, he thought that maybe she wasn’t the only one he couldn’t resist. As he went to clean the hunt, you went to Carol to say you got the wood and offer to take care of the kids while she started to prepare the food.

You couldn’t take that smile from your face and you didn’t were sure why, you ruffled Luna’s fur while you sat close to the kids and released the dog so she could run around a little. You hated having to let her tied, but you were too afraid of what could happen if she went too far. She ran around the camp and soon approached the archer he pet her and she made her happy tail dance to him, he looked in your direction and you smiled watching their interaction. Your day wasn’t lost, there was still good things to be grateful for, even in a world like this.

Final notes: Please tell me your thoughts. There is a long time I don’t write and publish fanfiction in English so I’d be glad to hear from you.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

[daresplaining]

"You're crazy, all of you. I'm real, you hear me? As real as anyone." Daredevil vol. 5 #607 by Charles Soule, Phil Noto, and Clayton Cowles

"I don't even know how to say this...I'm not real." Devil's Reign #5 by Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto,  Marcio Menyz, and Clayton Cowles

I touched on this topic in this post, but the thought has been gnawing on my brain since Devil's Reign #5 dropped (in March 2022? Mike has been dead for two years already?! God...) so I'm giving it its own post.

Modern Mike's existence is divided into two clearly delineated states of being: "fragment" (Reader's umbrella term for his creations) and "Real Boy" (Mike's term for himself from the 2020 Annual, though shout-out to the fans who had already been calling him that since 2018). It's a literal transformation, from one form of life to another, but it also spans Mike's character arc and psychological journey: from desperately declaring his realness in Daredevil volume 5 to begrudgingly accepting the nature of his existence at the end of his introductory arc, to taking action and making himself real in Daredevil volume 6. For me, the above scene from #607 was the gut-punch moment that first got me intensely intensely invested in modern Mike, when the depth of his fear and the horror of his situation became clear-- and the emotional resonance of that moment, for me, carried over into the bombshell scene in Devil's Reign #5 when he answered the questions that had been left dangling after he rewrote reality in the 2020 Annual: Did he still remember the previous version of the world? Did he remember what he had done to change it? Did he remember being a "fragment"?

His nervous declaration to Butch-- "I'm not real"-- hits like a truck not just because it is such a risky admission, but also because of how it contextualizes Mike's new reality and what his cosmic rewrite actually changed for him. Which, it would seem, was probably not enough.

Yes, after his trick with the Norn Stone, the gaps in his memories have been filled in. Yes, he now has a birth certificate and a social security number (presumably) and actual friends and family who share actual history with him, and I'm sure that's a tremendous relief. But how much of a solace can it really be, when he still knows that the only reason he has all of those things is because he forced the universe to give them to him? His twin might think they were born together now, but Mike still knows the truth about how he was created, and now he is the only person in the world who does. He has gone from having unique memories of a past that doesn't exist for anyone else to...having unique memories of a past that doesn't exist for anyone else.

Is this new reality that much better than the old one for Mike? If he still knows that he hasn't always been real, does he feel any less like a ghost?

It is very easy to find parallels between Mike being the only person who remembers his time as a "fragment" and Matt, following the Purple Children's mind wipe, being the only person who still knew that he was Daredevil. Matt was stuck with knowledge of a world that once was-- a world in which his identity was public-- and he couldn't handle the sudden total isolation of no one at all sharing his secret, and so decided to tell someone (but just one person; Foggy). Mike's situation was nearly the same. The fear and isolation and vulnerability he'd felt as a fragment was something he had literally bent the universe to escape, but he was still left haunted by the memory of it. We didn't get much of a sense of what was going on in Mike's head in his appearances following the Annual, but I can only imagine that, mixed in with everything else he was feeling in that scene in Devil's Reign #5, he felt some amount of relief sharing the weight of that secret with his best friend. I have to wonder if, had he lived long enough, he would have told anyone else.

[astolfofo]

bruh i wrote this on a whim. but it needs to be said.

tw: manipulation, yandere. Nothing too much. It’s pretty mild, but it’s dazai so idk what to say. 

bruh if this flops im gonna actually cry tho. I actually used my brain to write this. even tho I used causual language and this ain’t that formal ughsdfhlkdsj. but also sorry if it’s really bad. I didn’t even proofread this I just copy and pasted it into tumblr. Also, if the ending’s kinda messy or if there’s like grammar mistakes... pls tell me I literally am so braindead rn i can’t read

would also tag people this was inspired by but this is actually half shitpost and that would be hella rude of me to do that so. lmfao. (translate: i don’t have the balls)

===

I see so many people thinking that Dazai would fall for someone cheerful, and bubbly, who would approach him first.

Honestly, I disagree.

I think the opposite. Maybe it’s because I see part of myself in Dazai (and Yozo from the No Longer Human), or maybe because it’s simply because I’m not a bubbly, happy, person in general (but i wanna be with him jkjk unless… ) but. I personally disagree with that headcannon, I don’t really see it happening. Obviously, there are cases of characters liking an innocent, sweet, bubbly darling (cough. Nikolai. Chuuya. Akutagawa. Atsushi.) But, for Dazai… I feel like that would be too boring for him. Not as in he wouldn’t like it that way… but it would be too easy for him, ya know? Like there’s no challenge, there’s no… interest in doing that. Why would Dazai want someone so open, so innocent, so bubbly and kind, who would listen to anything he said? That’s not even genuine, that’s fake. Everyone has their own secrets, their lies, and they create a fake mask for everyone else to see. They wouldn’t want to show their true self… because it’d make them not only look bad… but also we’d all be extremely vulnerable. And violent.

Dazai knows this better than anyone else. I’d like to think, anyways. And innocent people like that, whether genuine or not, usually would deter him because they’re… too easy to pursue. Despite being a good liar himself, I don’t think he’d want someone who would fake the niceness, because it would be obvious from the start. Dazai doesn’t strike me as someone who would enjoy breaking his darling down (that’s Fyodor’s thing bro would definitely like someone who is fake). He has some morality, he doesn’t like using mind break. After all, that goes against what Oda told him to do. However, he’d definitely enjoy mind games, he’d like to pick you apart to get to know you better. Better than you know yourself. And once he does, he can leverage you however he likes to be his ideal woman. Even that manga q and a (I’lll find the link later) said that Dazai likes all women because he can make them into what he wants. Someone who’s outright innocent and kind wouldn’t be able to achieve that effect for him. It doesn’t offer him the challenge, it doesn’t offer him any kind of challenge in just manipulating someone innocent who barely hides anything. That would be a bad thing, and even his skwered sense of whatever morals he has would disagree with it. He wouldn’t even be able to fall for someone like that. Simple-minded people, just aren’t for him.

So, in prose, I’d like to offer an alternate idea: Dazai would like a darling that’s, obviously to a similar intelligence as him (otherwise they’d be… too easy), but very distant. Not as in a “they have a mask on”, kind of way. But in a. They’re apathetic, cold, and aren’t great at communicating kind of way. I think it’s an interesting dynamic. The first time when Dazai sees them, he may not even think much of them. Neutral cold face doesn’t say many sentences and wants him to leave. Maybe a slight fear of him, that he approached them. However, as time passes by, Dazai realizes he likes them. He genuinely craves their presence. He notices the way you don’t exactly know what his motives are, he enjoys the way you flinch when he touches your hands, or blush and do not know how to respond to his comments.

He sees all of it. And he wants to see who you really are. Behind your true mask. Maybe you’re a narcissist. Maybe you’re just a kind innocent person. Or maybe… you’re just as empty and lonely as he is. Whatever you are, he’ll eventually turn you into what he wants. It’s just a matter of time.

It’s like he’s looking at a Christmas present, and trying to guess the contents inside. The curiosity kills him. He wants to look at what it is now, but he can’t. He can’t. Until it’s Christmas day. So in the meantime, he’ll do everything except pull down the thin wrapping paper, and the apathetic, cold face you put on for everyone around you. It’s rather difficult actually, you do a pretty good job at covering your true self. You’re a skilled liar, you can control any physical reactions you have towards his questions.

But that just makes it all the more addictive.

The second you slip up, even just for a tiny. Little. Bit. Dazai is able to pinpoint a lot about you. It’s almost like he tore off a corner of the wrapping paper on his present, and he’s knows a lot about what it is. It’s more than he expected. It was just one facial expression. A face of shock, to anger, and then you calm yourself to the best of your abilities again. It’s barely noticeable to the average person. But that’s the thing. Dazai isn’t average. 

He’s the smartest man you’ll ever know.

It makes you feel conflicted. And you’re aware this is probably where Dazai wants you to be. And it is. Dazai finally was able to make a dent on the thin walls inside your mind. The walls that separated your true self, from others. And he’d pick and tear down these walls continuously until he was able to see inside.

But for Dazai... it’s his Christmas day. Dazai felt like his efforts... his waiting, his long awaited efforts were finally rewarded. All it took was one little slip on your behalf, one tiny little tear, for the wrapping paper to completely fall off. And as it lays discarded on the floor, Dazai admires the gift. He admires you. Your mind is such a vulnerable place. Yet in its own way, it’s beautiful and fragile. He feels like he physically cannot tarnish it. Yet... you’re so much more different than he thought. 

You’re niether a kind person, nor a violent one. You’re not broken, you’re not depressed nor anxious nor scared. You’re not nearly what he idealizes so much, and you’re not some insane slave to your ideals. No... what was inside that box and wrapping paper all this time was similar to a piece of piece of glass. Plainly boring in its own way... yet beautiful if shaped in the right hands. 

You’re a blank slate. Sure, you have your own trauma, your own struggles, desires, and wishes but... he’ll still do as he wants to you. 

And you won’t have a single say in it. 

You’re a blank slate. A canvas waiting to be drawn on. And draw on you he will. 

He’ll admire you, he’ll protect you, he’ll... do anything and everything to make you love him. You’ll.... you’ll learn to love him.

And in return, you’ll be the only one who will see and understand his true self.

[nightislandnoveltymug]

actually, proper answer now that i'm awake and have had some time to percolate lol. best thing armand did!

i should say this is kind of a tie for me because the person armand becomes with daniel is always going to be up there -- he didn't let him die, he gave daniel what he wanted, but more importantly he told him, and showed him, that he loved him, and just in general in their time together he allowed daniel to see so much of his real genuine vulnerability and cared for him and worried about him so much and that fucks me up!!

but!! the thing i actually wanted to mention is his homes! (this is maybe cheating a little bit because it isn't something he did, it's something he does, but whatever.) one of the things i love most about armand is that he's always creating these stable places and central points for everybody to congregate on. while a lot of the others are sort of nomadic and don't stay in touch and you don't really know where they are, he is always (as he says) "a canker in the very eye of the world". he's easy to find, he stays in one place and he uses his resources and his power to create these stable, lasting home bases and then opens his doors to others. he creates stability and then shares it in a way that really nobody else does.

and i think it's very interesting because this sort of stability is a character trait that (i think!) maybe most people would first and foremost think to associate with elders like maharet, or marius, when in actual fact, the truth is that neither of them has ever done that -- for their own disparate reasons they've always been highly reclusive, and have protected their own stability by staying out of touch with the rest of the vampire world, not opening their doors, and for the most part not helping anyone or intervening in anything in any way.

there's something fascinating and honestly poignant about like... armand, maybe subconsciously, running a household according to an ideal which (imo!) is based on marius, except that marius has never actually done that. not for vampires. and so in actual fact, this is something that armand has innovated; this actually comes from him, and is coloured by his experience with the covens (which marius has never shown anything but disdain for), and perhaps even beyond that, by his experience with the sense of community in monastic life (which really ditto).

i personally suspect that rather than praiseworthy, he probably sees this as ultimately pretty self-serving on his own part, because he has this longing for community that drives him to create these places, so he probably just sees it as something he does so that he won't have to be alone. and also, from the way he talks in late canon you get the sense that he rather sees himself as trying to atone, and as trying to emulate those who are better than him. when in fact he's doing something that nobody else is doing, and in many ways (imo) behaving more like a leader of a community than any of the characters that everyone else thinks ought to lead, like marius or lestat. not because they couldn't, but because neither of them has ever had the resources, capabilities, patience, and willingness to create something like that and then open it up.

and for a character who's been so lost, and has spent so much of his life feeling lost, feeling abandoned (and i think, right up until present day, still feels that way really), and has spent so much of his life looking for something to anchor his life to, without ever having the luxury of truly finding it, and having to just sort of go on anyway, keep living anyway -- for that character to be a stable anchor point for everybody else is something that really really gets me about him, maybe especially because i think he isn't fully aware of it himself.

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Random synastry observations based personal experience, part 3:

Mercury conjunct mars: it’s so funny to be libra mars and see mercury panic and manically diplomat themselves out of any thought they finally had the courage to communicate as soon as you’re being somewhat martian to them. ‘Why were you kissing that guy?’ ‘Why? Do you like me?’ ‘Ehh… nevermind hey look, a bird.’ Mars provokes mercury and mercury gets rises out of mars. This aspect can sometimes play out like missiles firing at each other, even in martian fall like libra. ‘Okay?’ ‘Good!’ ‘Good!’ ‘Fine!’ ‘Fine!!’ You can see this aspect can be funny and exciting as well as… cumbersome.

North node conjunct vertex: oh wow. This one. So this is a person in your life that you’re supposed to run into in a meaningful way. Now I only interpret this ‘meaning’ whatever it may be, as strictly romantic when it’s placed in house placements like 5th, 7th or 8th house. You might have a relationship that completely changes you or there is a fat chance that you get married (because this one is called the marriage aspect!). I personally don’t believe of course that if you have this aspect, therefore you will get married, but the meaning of this aspect in frank language is that ‘where’ your souls are, are each other’s endgame. The person you’ll share this aspect with is either kind of supposed your ‘last love’, or you’ll finish the relationship from the beginning until the end. Think of a successful relationship and marriage of 14 years, because you’ve learned from each other, moved on and will never really let that soul-tie go. Whatever soulmates you think you are with your partner, this amplifies it because you were basically meant to encounter in this way. Someone’s soul-goal (nn) is to meet someone’s soul-ascendant (vx) in the house of home, romance, secc or marital partnership! How this works: fate wants you to work together. You’ll only be able to let each other go when the job is finished and have ended up at each other’s ‘station’ (can also be a station of life lessons!). And with ‘only able’ I mean literally being able. I had this with someone I could not escape. I had this with someone who I consider a soulmate and we’d keep running into each other in places where we should not have had any business with each other! And I don’t mean like the supermarket, I mean student clubs where we both ran into each other because we happened to choose the same one despite both of us not knowing, jobs, apartment buildings we moved into, house viewings/interviews. All places where we were supposed to live our lives. Fate wanted us to be either meaningful acquantainces or best friends or lovers. Either way we were supposed to change each others lives, which plays out well when your relationship is a romantic one !

Venus opposite mars: is easy to be in denial about for a little while, but as soon as you both start acknowledging, even if it’s just for a little bit, that, yes, there is ‘something there’, you will get together in some type of way faster than lightning can hit the ground. If the guy is mars then this will lead to immediate action and borders crossed, if the girl is mars then it will take getting used to their roles, which only makes the romantic tension build up more and more as you can imagine.

Mercury conjunct moon: such a green flag. Whatever the communication is, it’s great and tying you to each other. People forget that moon energy and mercury energy are very opposite in nature and so can create a lot of magnetism too ! Mercury understands the moon completely and feels like being able to look through a looking glass at the inner workings of the moon person’s vulnerability. Moon forces mercury to feel things, because they compliment emotion to mercury’s logic. Moon feels like they can express themselves safely and mercury loves listening to them. Mercury feels secure in moon’s fragile side because they understand and accept it wholly. A very underrated aspect. It’s easy to go deep here. I had this aspect with someone who I would consider a soulmate. When I met him, I was trying to make small talk with 40 different people and with only one stranger I felt like I could be myself and be completely accepted, and that was with him !

Moon conjunct moon: yes. You may be soo ‘typically’ different from each other but still feel like you’re the same person and understand each other the best. It’s an undeniable bond. I have this aspect with someone who is the most quirky, off beat guy I know, worlds away from almost everyone, but still we connect like we’re each other’s home base! It also helps since he’s my crush lol. Having this aspect with best friends is a gift. You can always reconnect and you’ll never really be strangers to each other, ever. It can get annoying, but for the most parts it’s the kind of bond with a person you should be grateful for. Imagine that 1 person from your friend group you really have no reason to be friends with at all. You don’t really have common interests or talk one on one that much, but still you guys consider e/o close! It’s mostly one of the moon people who feels as if you’re unconditional close friends, and the other who’s just happy to have such a nice connection with someone. Imagine being paired up as buddies in school with that friend you’re not really friends with. It’s ~impossible~ to feel out of place like that with someone you have moon conjunct moon with.

Mars sextile venus: I hate when astrologers say ‘this aspect is better when ..planet is a man and ..planet is a woman’, but in this case it really is true (in general also i’ve found it to be true because environment and social upbringing, of course, too has influence on someone’s personality). But especially here it’s true because the positive side, ‘thing’ about this aspect is basically the understanding each other’s energy and the communication that flows easily and nicely. Mars sextile venus may not be the thing that ‘generates’ attraction like mars conjunct/opposite or sometimes trine venus does, but it works like a magical potion in helping it channel it. Especially the mars in question the main-aspector in the synastry chart, like if it’s also (harshly) aspecting the other’s moon or sun or uranus etc. ‘Socially’, planets are also aspected. Like men are for example taught to be more in tune with their mars, women are also taught to recognise and understand the mars-side to a man’s character. This will only amplify the benefits mars sextile venus aspect, as you can imagine. So this flow of in untraditional roles isn’t as easy to achieve as the other, as you can imagine. That one works better with a longer platonic stage, which is what I often find when a woman plays mars and the man plays venus. For lbtq+ relationships you can almost throw all of this uneasiness out of the window, depending on how little the parties identify with heteronormative roles in relationships. In my own experience, being the woman in mars sextile venus in a hetero relationship, this aspect feels like the way you got your two barbie dolls to get married to each other, only you’ll be kind of star-struck living the real-life-action version of this yourself. The parties won’t really be nervous around each other in the pre-relationship phase where this aspect is concerned! Because the chemistry that’s generated from this aspect isn’t really ‘much’, it’s taken and embraced wholly during all the interactions, because at its 100% top energy you’re not even being vulgar, you’re just being flirty and funny and easy with each other, and people will remark on your chemistry in their heads. It’s not this ‘out of control’ crazy thing to have, but it’s nice and romantic. This is the kind of relationship that everyone loves to see and can get two people who you’d never imagine crossing those boundaries, crossing that boundary. I’ve seen this aspect a lot between couples that got together after being in the same class for years, or friends that were simply introduced to each other at wholesome occasions like a wedding.

Pluto 12th house overlay: I’ve never felt as mentally ill as when I was with someone whose pluto was overlaying in my twelfth house. This doesn’t deserve laughing emojis! It was real. Pluto conjuncts my ascendant, so basically any guy who is older than me shares this overlay with me. This aspect would create the kind of connection where pluto, for some reason, would just magically have insight on what I was thinking and what my deepest unconscious thoughts were, all the time. This goes platonically as well. ‘Lol, that sounded faked’ ‘haha, why are you making things up all the time’ ‘but really, though, you are not okay, right?’ Maybe GO AWAY? I’m just kidding, here is your new role as my confessional even though you make me feel so uncomfortable for no reason for what is deep inside me. I’m doomed am I not ?

Moon opposite/square/inconjunct/semisquare mars: sigh… just watch Bridgeton season 2. Yes, it may be a slight charicature of what this is, but it is that. Believe me. There is natural strife between these two people but such comfort as well. The enemies-to-lovers trope based around the ‘giving up’ and swooning is based on a moon-person’s role in a harsh moon-mars synastry aspect. The trope of ‘giving in’ and protecting/pursuing/declaring feelings in a burst of passion is based on the mars-person’s role in this aspect. Moon square mars: In a non-romcom scenario, this relationship plays out as two people who aren’t supposed to even like each other, but it’s near unnoticeable due to the sheer attraction and crushes present. Moon opposite mars: these people weren’t supposed to give each other time of day, but that goes unnoticed too, because both recognise something in the other that misses in themselves and realise how this makes them fit together. Like venus opposite mars, it’s easy to be in denial about it for a while, but depending on how strongly these people are going to interact, they will want to get together as fast as they can. This is because the tension created by the opposites will moreso draw them together (dramatically, they’re still moon and mars) than create an energy field that electrocutes either one of them, depending on which day (like the square does).

[girl-of-eye]

placements i dislike as an air dominant ｡˚۰˚☽˚

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❍ sagittarius moons,

i know many sagittarius moons, and they all share something similar in common. they don’t. shut. up. and it’s not like the funny kind of talkative, they’re just always saying random things that are so annoying and off topic. they mostly don’t think before they speak, and say things that offend others easily. also, another observation with this placement, they tend to show off often? they like to brag about their “talents” whether it’s subconscious or not. personally, i find them boring and unoriginal.

❍ a mix of leo + virgo placements,

some of the most. demanding. judgy. and hypocritical people. ever. the type of people to give you unsolicited advice that they literally never even follow. they have this ego to them that is difficult for them to see in themselves, because the mix of these two placements creates an individual who often feels they’re always right. and many times they are right when it comes to practical things, because they stick to the facts. however, they seem to have a hard time understanding that MY perspective is different from YOUR perspective.

❍ virgo venus,

i’m not 100% against this placement, but i have a problem with them because they seem to always have an opinion on your relationship, when they’ve never experienced a solid relationship before. it’s like they always have a problem with everything, and their standards in love are so picky and finicky, and then when they finally get in a relationship you look at their partner and are like.. “you were giving me advice.. and you pull this..?” LMFAOOO..

❍ scorpio stelliums,

just.. uncomfortable energy. because i can’t read easily inside the minds of their thoughts, i can only feel them. they’re so used to manipulation in their lives, they’re masters at it. they know how to twist your words and make you feel powerless and make you question yourself, even if you’re using logic. it’s scary because you can catch these people CONSTANTLY lying and creating situations that aren’t real. their words are so convincing and convicting that you question yourself. little sneaky ass bitches.. your trust issues give me trust issues lmao.

❍ personal planets in the 7th house,

there is definitely something respectable about this placement; they’re kind, easy going, friendly, and never really bother you up front. but truthfully they’re just so wrapped up and involved with the way people perceive them, that they struggle to really benefit anyone. they care so much about relationships and being in love and having someone around them and being perfect and making sure everyone likes them. these are the friends to constantly be talking to someone romantically, and oftentimes they never learn from their past relationships and experiences because they’re stuck in constant loops of getting involved with the same types of people. they can be really wrapped up in their own “perfect place,” and not realize how delusional they look lol.

❍ pluto in the 3rd house,

you just cannot be trusted. pathological liars. it’s like.. gemini moon x10. these people struggle with friendships and staying upfront. this is like a mixture of scorpio and gemini energy, and that creates someone who is a master at lying. they so easily come up with such intense, bizarre things that it’s difficult for you to not believe them… because… who would say that? but often times they tend to avoid and dodge conversations that they know will get them in a fickle, because they always find themselves caught up in the middle of drama. seriously the hardest people to put your trust into.

❍ scorpio venus,

listen i have nothing against the love a scorpio venus can provide.. but.. if you’re a scorpio venus and you make an opinion on someone else’s relationship.. shut the fuck up. just shut up. because you’re so afraid to be vulnerable and open up to someone but you crave it so badly. must be so sad.. do not project your insecure problems onto other people. your love life is bland but mine isn’t, so if there’s envy just keep it to yourself.

please do not take these 100% to heart! these are just my opinion, and everyone views things differently

˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳˳

- ᥫ᭡ liv

[thyandrawrites]

I feel like one thing that helps make more sense of Reo's overattachment for Nagi (and his subsequent devastation at the thought of having lost him as well) is that Nagi isn't simply Reo's best friend, but up until their separation in the 3v3, Nagi was also Reo's only friend. No, no, hear me out, I'm serious.

Chigiri and Kunigami? They only get friendly with him after Nagi leaves. His weird dynamic with Shidou happens later down the line, and his reevaluation of Isagi is only during the third selection. But if we're talking strictly about second selection!Reo, then he doesn't have any other friends. Not yet.

If you're thinking of Zantetsu, then let me remind you that Reo never stops being condescending and rude to him, despite how the latter repeatedly makes his discomfort at the way Reo addresses him known. That lack of respect isn't friendship. At most, Zantetsu tolerates his attitude, but only begins cooperating with him because he's friends with Nagi, not Reo himself. Even after they reach an agreement of sorts, Zantetsu tells Reo to his face that he still doesn't like him.

Then there's the rest of team V, which Reo had under his thumb, but wasn't particularly friendly to. Unless you count manipulating people into not being jealous of you as friendly behavior. His Hakuho soccer team? Same thing. He made himself likeable enough for them to accept him and get him what he wanted, but he has no relationship with them outside of that. Nagi's the only player Reo consistently did extra practice with. Reo even implies he considers the other teammates as deadweight while his and Nagi's combo carries the club on their shoulders.

What about his fangirls, then? Reo is undoubtedly popular. Definitely admired. But none of his fangirls understands or even cares about his passion for soccer, giving me the feeling that Reo didn't know these girls too well, either. His popularity seems more based on his looks & money than anything about Reo himself.

All in all, Reo strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't have enemies cause he's good at tailoring himself into whatever public face he needs to wear to be liked, but also as the kind of person who doesn't have many real bonds because of it, only shallow, business-like ones.

High school me wasn't popular at all, but even I had a best friend I hung out with during breaks, and took the bus home with. Reo goes to school either by limo or with his bike, and Nagi is the only other passenger that we see. Despite his huge popularity and friendly attitude, he's shown to be wandering the school alone when he first bumps into Nagi, and again being alone when he follows Nagi around to learn more about him. We know that he tried other sport clubs before soccer so he must have made acquaintances, but it would seem that none of them stuck. None of them spends time with him in between classes.

Adding to this, Reo used money to create a soccer club at Hakuho, instead of going the more normal route of simply asking his friends/acquaintances. So conclusion: I don't think he had any. It must not be easy, when your father's wealth is the first thing everyone sees upon meeting you.

I think Nagi was the first person who grabbed Reo's attention so thoroughly, Reo wanted to cultivate his bond with him past the usual shallow relationships he seems to entertain with most of his peers. But if he only had admirers but not friends, that means Reo doesn't have much experience with... Being vulnerable around people, you know? If Reo was always the most talented, the most resourceful one around, it makes sense that he'd only learn to show his successful persona to others. I think second selection!Reo shows this well. He holds back from telling Nagi how he really feels and puts on a mask of nonchalance. He only cries after Nagi has left, so that he won't see how affected Reo truly is. He pretends to be fine when Kunigami checks on him, then tells kunigiri to go to the showers without him, so he can be vulnerable and "pathetic" alone, without witnesses.

Then again, that might just be his pride speaking. But there's also his skewed perspective on Nagi's feelings that adds to this, imho. If we go with the assumption that all his previous bonds were shallow, based on mutual gain (think of the "win-win" deal he offers to Zantetsu), then it also makes sense of why he assumes Nagi doesn't want to have anything to do with him anymore once he leaves with Isagi.

If Reo's relationships never went any deeper than tutoring partners or temporary teammates he grew bored of quickly, then Reo also doesn't have much of a frame of reference for people hanging out with him for him. Because they like him as a person, and not just because they are doing something together.

Because of this, I think, he sees his role in Nagi's life as something inherently replaceable, and assumes Nagi will grow bored with him in pretty much the same way Reo got bored with everything he mastered too easily.

He thinks "forgetting" about your best friend is as easy as simply meeting someone new. As if Reo is nothing but a temporary cure for Nagi's boredom. Cause after all, until he discovered soccer and then Nagi, Reo's interest in anything only lasted as long as his talent caught up with the challenge and made the thing easy for him. Given how he's always been acutely aware of the gap between himself and Nagi's talent, it would make sense if Reo rationalized Nagi leaving as Nagi's genius finally catching up with Reo's hard work, surpassing him in skills, and thus growing bored of him and seeking new challenges in other people.

It's not that he sees friendship as transactional, per se, because his actions around Nagi prove he values him as a person more than as a genius. But between that perceived inferiority and the fact Reo doesn't have much of a frame of reference for healthy friendships, I think that a lot of his communication issues with Nagi are due to the fact that Nagi's just. His first real friend. And Reo is still learning how to be around him. A feat that would be hard on its own, but which Nagi then complicates by adding his own lack of people skills and "how to person" to the mix.

In conclusion: I think it's good that they had time apart, and that during that time they expanded their world past each other. Making friends with other people definitely helped; for one, that distance alone is enough to make Reo understand he forced his dream on Nagi instead of sharing it with him the way he thought he had

[scoobydoodean]

Hey there, I have SPN Thought Worms i thought you might appreciate: You know how there’s debate wether (in the biblical story) Abraham “failed” God’s test, if it was a blind loyalty test or to see if he’d put his moral and love over unquestioned orders? In the same vein, do you think Dean truly ‘failed’ Death’s test with the ring and carrying out his duties for the day? Like maybe Death actually wanted Dean to be unable to do it bc it proved he had limits or smth? Or did he just get Sam’s soul back despite the apparent failure because he has a massive soft spot for Dean? (relatable tbh). Hope I made myself clear lol, the concept is jumbled-up in my mind, and have a great day!

This is a really interesting question! I also have a feeling I'll have a lot better of an answer when I get to 6.11 on this rewatch and have the entire season fresh on my mind. That said, Death actually says in the end that the goal was for Dean to learn something.

DEATH Today, you got a hard look behind the curtain. Wrecking the natural order's not quite such fun when you have to mop up the mess, is it? This is hard for you, Dean. You throw away your life because you've come to assume that it'll bounce right back into your lap. But the human soul is not a rubber ball. It's vulnerable, impermanent, but stronger than you know. And more valuable than you can imagine. So... I think you've learned something today. (x)

I'd really like to watch through season 6 again to solidify this one for myself, but I have a feeling that this isn't about teaching Dean a personal moral lesson at all. I don't think Death is at all concerned with the fact that the nurse died because the little girl didn't from a moral perspective—he wouldn't have ever given Dean his ring if he was. That isn't why he said "good" when Dean said he would have acted differently if he could go back. We can guess it also isn't just a simple lesson about "bringing each other back" being bad and "letting go", because that'd be pretty hypocritical given Death is going to help Dean anyway with no one forcing his hand (and he tells us Dean has use). It isn't a moral issue Death's addressing. It's a lesson he's giving on the structure of the universe. It's about balance. As Death says cryptically later in the scene:

I think what Death wanted to get across to Dean is that souls must pass on, and their energy must be allotted to the appropriate areas in time and space. If one person doesn't die, passing their soul on as energy, another person must die so that a certain balance and energy level is maintained in the universe. Death plans to help Dean from the beginning, because "Right now, you're digging at something. The intrepid Detective. I want you to keep digging, Dean."

Death, as a person who can't ultimately involve himself without also disrupting balance, is ultimately hinting at Dean as best he knows how that he wants him to stop Crowley and Cas from sucking a bunch of souls out of Purgatory, creating absolute chaos. But he can't say that, so instead, he gives Dean a lesson. He tells Dean that human souls are extremely valuable, and that they need to go to the places the universe wants them to go and stay there. If they don't—if they are moved on a large scale—something terrible will happen. Death has to expect Dean to extrapolate all of this information, which is not an easy expectation to fulfill.

So I guess to summarize: I don't think Dean failed Death's test, because actually using the ring and experiencing what happened when Dean tried to change things was more of a lesson than a test. The test was how Dean reflected on the lesson after and evaluated his behavior. He passed when he said he'd behave differently if he could go back. Death wanted Dean to understand the idea of balance in the universe depending on where souls go, and how important it is not to disrupt their flow or move them around. Changing things makes bad things happen. When there's just one soul, the impact is small (something Death is willing to let Dean toy with by offering his ring for the day). But what if someone disrupted the flow of many many souls at once?

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Venus in the 8th: More Observations & Tips

Venus 8th House - Their sensuality is potent & is very magnetic. Their allure is contagious, and they tend to have others wanting to worship then. They could understand the dark side of money and how to make it. I see something about sex work being a thing for a few people with this house placement, but most of all it could be that you are aware of how money works in society and dont look it at from a good or bad perspective. You know that money can be made in all ways and its truly what you do with it is what counts. Hidden secrets around relationships and lovers. You might be able to spot when your lovers are walking out on you, you just know. When it comes to everyone else relationships you can see through them, something you learned during your adolescent years. Youre able to pick up on the energies of people very easy, so it is no wonder you're able to pick up things from others relationships.

I notice if you're a woman with this placement others tend to 'hide their wives/husbands' from you. They think you'll steal them, your sex appeal is extremely high so no matter what people will think youre some 'slut'. Sugar daddies may come out of no where for you guys, the 'streets' chose you not the other way around.

For some of you, you could know some pretty successful people in high places. They gravitate to your aura because it is very dark and powerful, so this can be used as opportunity. You can see into their lives and they trust you with what you know. The more higher youre up on the ladder the more hidden knowledge you tend to come across.

Gifted in the occult, you can be healers in areas that have to do with the sexual organs. Can heal others with your hands (reiki) and could also make money off this if you choose.

Last thing I wasnt to say is that you guys can have a lot of jealous women around you. Girl, guy, non binary. Doesnt matter. Its because since youre personal power comes from your sensuality it can shine light on other peoples darkness.

'Like why is this person so pretty?' 'why does everyone gravitate to them and not me?' like... they cant seem to understand what it is about you. You dont have to be some ig model or extremely attractive to be 'sexy' with this placement you ARE it. You are the embodiment of sex appeal.

Tips I would have these placement holders is to hold on to their sex appeal as long as they can because as they mature in life they'll be individuals that will try to make you turn it down. Hold your head up high & never let them see you sweat because trust me they're waiting it on it. If you have any moment where you are vulnerable thats when the vultures come through and try to attack so privacy over your self & your feelings is necessary.

If you are an artist you can sell your art and can get a lot of vendors and sponsors who want to see your stuff. I say this because people some of you with this placement may be prone to insecurity around your artwork however your passion is noticed in your work. So it should be seen in the spotlight because it gives us a chance to feel the passion and hard work in what you've created.

Another thing I will say before I end this, is that love for yourself & the world at large creates more energy for you to live off of and makes your aura stand out from the rest. You guys are actually work really well with community and you should use your magnetism for the workspaces of helping groups that need your compassion and grace.

thank you for reading <3

[frillyfacefins]

A constructive approach to building a solid Femslash Subculture in a new fandom, a thread (+ anecdotal “Case Study”)

(I posted this as a thread on twitter a week ago in response to some pretty old arguments getting thrown around again; the situation has cooled down now, but somebody asked me to put this thread on tumblr, and I thought it could help some people, so here we go.)

In 2013 I was in the Silmarillion fandom when the Hobbit movies brought in a giant influx of new fans.

I was not one of the people who had been into the Silmarillion for ages, I only just read the book too, and the fandom at the time was very much in flux.

Since Baldur’s Gate is in a similar situation - a very old fandom with a new influx of fans and new characters - I think it might be helpful for me to explain how we created a space for fanwriters and -artists to explore and celebrate femslash ships.

Here are my recommendations for femslash fans who want more f/f fanworks in the Baldur’s Gate 3 fandom, sectioned off in

“3 Warnings”

“3 Ways forward”

and a “””Case Study””” of what happened in the Silmarillion fandom.

Warning 1: Be aware that your fandom is a baby.

Nominally, the game has been out for less than a month. Most people who will write amazing fanfics for your favorite characters maybe don’t even have the game yet because they can’t afford it until the Christmas sales, or they just haven’t finished it yet (like me). Most people don’t want to write for a fandom until they have consumed all available canon. You don’t know how the fandom will look like yet, but you can start building a solid foundation to influence it.

Warning 2: Don’t alienate the Astarion-fans.

Astarion is fandom-bait. He is the exact kind of character people who ‘don’t get it’ have been fuming over for decades, and who people who ‘do get it’ get obsessed with. He is the exact formula that has been working since at least the 80s: A morally grey bad boy with slightly edgy good looks who is also - and this is THE key for this kind of fandom-bait - very vulnerable and can absolutely be made into a better person/ be healed by his love interest.

This is why most heroes in (especially older) romance novels work. This is why Lestat worked. This is why Kylo Ren worked.

The thing is - the people who go gaga over him now? A lot of them will grow bored at some point. Either they will leave the fandom, or they will become invested in other characters from this fandom.

So the worst thing you can do is make them feel like the femslash community is rude, confrontational, whiny. Sorry, but that is how fandom works.

Fanwriters write fanfics for 2 reasons: 1. They have fun while writing something specific. 2. They get great interactions because they write something specific. If they look at the f/f corner and see people constantly fighting or complaining, guess what? They won’t be as interested in writing about their favorite female characters. And especially in Baldur’s Gate 3, the female characters are not easy to love, but once you do, they have potential to make you into absolute stans. I disliked Lae’zel a lot during Act 1, but by now I honestly think she’s the absolutely cutest. And Shadowheart is definitely intriguing, but I want to know how her story ends before I get really invested in her. (And we don’t even have to talk about Karlach…)

Warning 3: Lurkers have no voice in fandom.

Sorry, but this is a fact. If you don’t write fanfic or draw fanart, you don’t get to complain about what other people draw/write about. We create fanworks because we are enjoying them, not because of some social obligation. We are giving you free labor, and if you keep complaining about the things we write because it’s not what you want to see, we will just be less likely to write the things you want to see. So if you don’t create your own fandom content, you can whine as much as you want, but you will just make those who actually do create look at your whole niche of fandom with way less interest than they might have had.

Now, what can you actually do to build the basis for a solid femslash subfandom?

Measure 1: For lurkers: Support those who create fanworks you like.

And I’m not saying financially. I’m coming from an old-school-fandom perspective here. You know what will absolutely make me want to write another fic for a pairing that maybe doesn’t have as much works about them as the big ships? Really, really nice people who either write detailed comments on my fics, or who engage with me on social media - like, actively comment on my post or even hop in my DMs and tell me how much they liked something I have written.

Complaining about people who don’t write your ships is the worst thing you can do. Celebrating people who do write your ships is the best thing you can do.

Measure 2: For most writers: Kind of logical, but - write.

Write long-fic, short-fic, flash-fic about your favorites. Plaster your social media profiles with it. Do monthly challenges, request your pairings in cross-fandom exchanges, write long rambly threads about how awesome they are. Right now, YOU get to potentially create the fanon. You get to sway people’s opinions of characters. And you get to actively build this community.

And please, try not to get discouraged if it’s hard at first. Like I said - this fandom is a tiny baby that only just started screaming its little red head off. New fans will come. And they will do the same as the person in the screenshot, and maybe if they actually look through the ‘other tag’ bar or by filtering for F/F, they will find your works and be super happy about it.

Measure 3: For fans who want to invest more time and effort: Organize cool stuff for your community.

Fests, exchanges, challenges, discord servers, tags on tumblr or mastodon - there are tons of things you can make happen that will inspire people to create. Make a femslash month with themed weeks and prompts every day, for example, both for fanfic, fanart, edits, fanvids, whatever kind of fan-work anybody wants to contribute. Or make a challenge with a list of prompts, or a generator, or anything else you personally are able to do. Invite people to participate. Make it easy. Make it fun and welcoming.

And now to my “”case study”” which is completely anecdotal but which definitely left an expression on me.

The situation: The winter of  2013/2014. The second Hobbit movie has come out, Elrond is hot, Galadriel is hot, Tauriel is polarizing, Legolas looks weird. A ton of new people come into the Tolkien fandom, and discover the Silmarillion.

The Silmarillion-fandom has to deal with a new influx of people like it never has since the LotR-films. These are new fans who are used to new fandoms, not the LJ-survivors who make up a lot of the fandom. The new fans glom onto the usual suspects - Maedhros/Fingon, especially. But with Galadriel and Tauriel being so prominent in the Hobbit movies, the few fans who were already trying to put some femslash flavor in this fandom suddenly get a trickle of new people. Not that many. But some.

And then somebody decides to try and build a little bed for that trickle. Tumblr-User Elleth (not sure if she’s still around) creates the (by now defunct) archive “Textual Ghosts” to register all 600 unnamed wife characters in Tolkien’s work. A labor of extreme love for a fandom, and a big stepping stone for a developing femslash-subfandom. Soon afterward, tumblr-user Elleth and I start the first Legendarium Ladies April Event (legendariumladiesapril.tumblr.com) which would - without my continued support because I’m a fickle bitch and I’m still sorry about that - continue until 2020 and fill the event archives on AO3 with 150 new fics - which doesn’t seem a lot, but it also leaves out a lot of fanfics, fanart, fanpoems, fanedits etc. that were only ever posted on tumblr.

Meanwhile, I - always a multi-shipper and not devoted only to femslash, but VERY devoted to kinky smut which is also not really such a big thing in the Silmarillion fandom at this time - open a kink meme for the fandom. It creates a few new smuttier fanworks, but it also creates a few handful of female-centric works when I make a mini-event for world women’s day.

I am sorry to say that I abandoned this one too after about a year or two, but the kink meme is still there. (It would take another 8 years for somebody to be like “Hey so maybe you have incapacitating adhd, would you like to try ritalin?”)

Anyway, in this way, that trickle did become a brook. The M/M and even M/F works still outnumbered the F/F ones by miles, but F/F fans (and fans of female-centric works) WERE fed. And maybe more importantly - we built a community of people interested in the stories of women who were treated extremely badly by their source material. We made friends, we wrote stories for one another, we had fun. And that’s how you make a community within a fandom - you find some way to make it FUN.

(If Elleth should read this, I’m sorry for being an absolute flake, you’re wonderful.)

Oh also this is when I realized I’m not straight. So there’s that, too.

So if really love a fandom and you want to have more femslash works in this fandom? Start working towards it. You don't have to do it alone, there are other people out there who want to help you. But you need to find each other.

And you REALLY need to encourage each other.

(And also, stop making people outside of the femslash space associate you with nothing but complaints. That's not going to bring anybody into the fold. Be inviting, welcoming, have fun, be a positive community people WANT to join.)

And just to make my own position a little clearer: