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themultifanshipper · 11 hours

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Oscar had blabbed. That’s the only explanation you could come up with at the moment, given the position you found yourself in, kneeling at your friends’ feet.

Warnings: blowjobs, sex, one mention of yolo, and if you don’t like cum, probably don’t read this, it’s filthy (literally), PinV sex at the end

Alex and Logan had been eyeing you up all week. At first, they seemed to be glancing in your direction constantly, head movements catching your attention, but as soon as you’d look back at them they would avert their eyes. Then you noticed that they were staring at you for longer periods of time from across the room, seemingly unaware of what they were doing until they’d snap out of it on their own. But yesterday, that was when you saw their gazes shift into something else. Before they ranged from blank to vaguely curious, but yesterday, they looked hungry. It sent a shiver down your spine the first time. Now you just found it downright confusing, wondering what could have possessed them to start looking at you that way.

That night you were at your best pal Oscar’s place in Monaco, having just given him a congratulatory blowjob for his performance in the race (Oscar always said you were the best he’d ever known at giving head), and you decided to tell him.

“You know, Alex and Logan have been acting real weird lately” you called from the bathroom.

“Yeah? In what way?” he replied, in bed scrolling on his phone.

“Well… at first they just started staring at me, I think unconsciously, but now they’ve started looking at me like they want to eat me or something. ”

‘Shit!’ he thought. You couldn’t see him, but his eyes widened and he immediately started typing out a message to the boys: "what the fuck guys? Stop staring at her it’s weirding her out!"

“What do you mean?” he asked you, managing to keep his voice level.

“I don’t know… like- I’ve only ever seen that look when someone wants to rail me, you know? But it can’t be that, right?” You came out of the bathroom and Oscar turned his phone off a little too quickly, which confused you, but you were too tired to question it at that moment as you crawled into bed and snuggled up to him.

“Nah probably not, maybe you’re imagining things?” he tried, you didn’t bite.

“Absolutely not. We’re flying with them tomorrow, then you can see for yourself.”

The next morning when you woke up, you saw that you’d been added to a three way group chat with the two Williams drivers. You had two messages:

Alex: ‘We need to talk to you, privately”

Logan: ‘It’s nothing too serious tho dw <3’

‘Thank god for Logan’ you thought. Unbeknownst to you, they had been bickering all morning about how to broach the subject.

You would all be meeting at Nice airport to get a jet together so you didn’t have to wait too long for answers.

The four of you were alone on the jet, and when Logan got up to go to the bathroom, you glanced at him and he motioned for you to follow him.

'Okay, here we go' you thought nervously.

He closed the door behind you and you stared at him waiting for him to speak first, but he just stood there fidgeting nervously so you broke the silence.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?"

The room was relatively cramped so you were rather close, closer than you were used to, and you were able to count the freckles that dusted his face as you waited for an answer.

Instead of doing so however, he surged forward and kissed you. Which was confusing, but to be fair you weren’t going to start asking questions, as his lips were softly trailing over your jaw, making you let out a shaky breath.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week” he mumbled into your neck.

Before you even had time to form a response, the door slid open and there stood Alex, with a massive smirk on his face at the sight of you two.

“Started without me Logan? Bastard.”

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, as you stood there, half pressed against the sink by Logan’s hips, and very confused at was on earth was going on.

Alex came and pressed a light kiss to your temple before tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Are you okay with this?”

You nodded, not even sure what ‘this’ was but, yolo, as the kids say.

So he plastered his body to your side and turned your head to kiss you, as Logan started trailing downwards, taking the waistband of your joggers with him. He gasped loudly as he very quickly realized you hadn’t put any underwear on underneath. You glanced down and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? I travel comfy!”

Logan didn’t even hear you as he was already trailing kisses all over your thighs, lifting one of them and hooking it over his shoulder. His fingers spread you as he licked a broad stripe from your perineum to your clit, making you shudder in anticipation.

Alex’s hand on your jaw brought your mouth back to his, and his other hand snuck under your top to play with your breasts, making you keen under his touch.

One of your hands was in Logan’s hair as he lapped up your juices, getting his face soaked in the process, the other was making its way into Alex’s pants to grab hold of his cock, which had been hard ever since he saw you get up to follow Logan to the bathroom.

Your movements were uncoordinated as you were getting closer to orgasm on Logan’s tongue (and fingers that had since joined the party), and when you came, Alex had to put his hand over your mouth to muffle the loud moans that threatened to spill from you.

Logan stood up, a fucked out expression on his face, and licked his lips before grabbing Alex by the hair and crashing their lips together, Alex groaning into his mouth at the taste of you on his tongue.

You took their distraction as an opportunity to get down on your knees and unbuckle Logan’s pants, immediately getting his cock out and licking a long stripe form base to tip.

That made him shudder and he moaned into Alex’s mouth, the two of them still going at it, so you took him deeper and deeper, alternating expertly between breathing through your nose and swallowing, and you took Alex out of his pants to start stroking him at the same pace.

It eventually got too intense for poor Logan as he grabbed your hair and pulled you off him.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come too fast if you keep going like that.”

Alex grinned at him, then down at you. “You really are the best then, yeah?”

Your brain didn’t even register the implications behind that statement as you took Alex into your mouth, down to the base in one go, as if to say ‘see for yourself’.

You alternated between the two of them, getting them to the edge before pulling off to breath properly before switching. At some point they had started kissing again, groaning into each other’s mouths and running their hands through each other’s hair.

Then, without warning, the door opened and there stood Oscar, smug as anything.

“Well well well, what’s all this then?”

The image of George briefly flashed in your collective minds.

You pulled off with an obscene pop and looked up at the other two boys.

What sight the three of you made, you on the floor with tears running down your cheeks, Alex and Logan flushed and messy, hair sticking up and looking fucked out, with their cocks out.

That’s when it all clicked. The looks, Oscar’s avoidance, this whole mess in the bathroom.

Oscar must have blabbed about your activities to them.

You turned to the man in question.

“Did you plan this?!”

He laughed. “No one could have planned this. But I did mention to them how good you are for me, and I’m certainly enjoying the show. Do carry on, that looks painful.” he said, gesturing to where Alex and Logan were still hard, and leaking all over themselves. You looked at them in disbelief.

“Are you enjoying this? Being watched by your best friend while you’re getting sucked off?”

They had the audacity to look bashful, and it also kind of did it for you. So you slowly took Logan back into your mouth and Alex in your hand and they groaned in unison. You savoured every second of it, even the sound of Oscar’s breath hitching as he inevitably started touching himself in time with your pace, made you wet.

As the three men got closer, their noises got louder and Alex asked “Where?”

Oscar answered for you. “If you ask nicely she’ll let you come anywhere you want”

The two others groaned and quickly rushed out “Can I come on your tits?” and “On your face, please?”

You nodded at them, and they started jerked off hard and fast, aiming at your face and breasts as you closed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. Alex came a couple of seconds before Logan, painting your face in streaks of white, most of it landing on your tongue, then you felt another load land on your chest as Logan whined out his orgasm.

As Logan caught his breath, Alex pulled you to your feet and kissed you sweetly as a thank you, before he leaned down and started working his tongue over where Logan’s cum streaked your skin, making you gasp. Then Logan came closer and started licking Alex’s cum off your face. It was hands down the weirdest situation you’d ever been in, but it was hot as fuck. That was made obvious by how Oscar groaned behind you, still working over his cock at a leisurely pace.

“What a sight you three make. If Lando were here he would cream his pants…”

You huffed “I’m sure he would, but you’re certainly not going to tell him about this, right?”

His eyes twinkled “We’re meeting him for lunch tomorrow in Montreal.”

The other two finished cleaning you up and got you (and themselves) dressed again, kissed you one last time, Logan giving you a quick tap on the ass, before leaving you and Oscar alone.

“You mind getting on your knees one last time for me, baby?”

“Anything for you, Osc” You smiled, but before you could move, he grabbed your arm.

“Actually… I want to make you feel good too.” He glanced at the mirror. “Stand in front of the sink, hands on the mirror.”

You obliged, planting yourself firmly before he pulled down your pants, already having noticed your lack of underwear earlier, and pushed a couple of fingers into you.

“God, baby, you’re dripping.”

“I know that, just get your dick in me!”

He chuckled and lined himself up, bottoming out in one go.

“Fuck- so warm and tight, just for me” he groaned and kissed your neck before grabbing your hips tight, and pounding into you.

The angle made it so that he hit your g spot on every thrust, getting you close to the edge in record time, your loud moans spurring him on to go harder.

You came together, panting and coming down from your highs with him wrapped around you, breathing into your neck.

Logan and Alex were in the cabin, listening to yours and Oscar’s needy moans as they squirmed in their seats. They were wondering if maybe next time, Oscar would let them fuck you.

It’s 4am, leave me alone. Inspired by these pics

#my thots #oscar thots #alex thots #logan thots #oscar piastri #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri x reader #logan sargeant #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant smut #alex albon #alex albon x reader #alex albon smut #f1 #formula 1 #loscalex

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jgracie · 2 days

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HOW YOU AND SINGER!LEO VALDEZ CAME TO BE ♡ for giselle ( @pinkdiorluvr ), HEAVILY inspired by dominic fike

masterlist | rules

in which you date america's (self proclaimed) favourite singer

pairing singer!leo valdez x fem!reader

warnings my lack of knowledge on how uni works sorry im only 16 i fear, matty healy reference UNFORTUNATELY iykyk (i hate that man so much guys trust)

on the radio . . . dominic fike's whole discography tbh but i made a small playlist

an listened to dominic fike and made this as a result… lmk if u want more of them 😊

You never thought you’d actually get into your dream university. Well, to be more specific, you never thought you’d get off the waitlist

When you first discovered you got waitlisted, you’d accepted your fate. Sure, you already had tons of merch and had been dreaming of your life in California for years, but not all dreams come true. You chose another school to commit to and began preparing for freshman year of university. Who gets off of waitlists anyway?

Apparently, you. As soon as you got the email confirming your spot, you thanked the heavens and immediately changed your plans, giddily packing all your merchandise and adding to your California themed Pinterest boards

Until you realised you had nowhere to live. None of your friends and family lived in California, and you really didn’t want to live in a dorm after all of the stories you’d heard about communal bathrooms (they’re my biggest fear actually). Unfortunately, it was either that or go apartment hunting and pray you could find a decent apartment that didn’t cost a fortune

Whatever, at least you got into your dream university in the end. Sharing a bathroom with a bunch of other young adults was worth it. After a few days of letting the news properly sink in, you called your childhood best friend Piper to tell her the good news

“Pipes, you won’t believe what happened!” You nearly yelled into your phone, excitedly pacing back and forth in your room. Putting her on speaker, you put your phone down and continued packing your bags

Piper hummed, pretending to think before replying with, “you finally got with a hot rockstar like you insist you will?” You huffed, rolling your eyes - she’d never stop teasing you

“No, even better!” You said, “I got into Jupiter University!”

Cue the squealing. Piper congratulated you a million times over, now pacing in her own room somewhere in Europe or Australia or wherever she was, you could never keep up with that girl’s travels

Your conversation went quiet for a second before Piper connected two very important dots, “wait… that means you’ll be moving to Cali, right?”

“Well, duh, how else am I supposed to get to class on time?” At your confirmation, Piper’s face lit up (not like you’d be able to see it)

“Oh my God, Y/N, this is perfect! I just moved back to California and my dad gave me this giant apartment all to myself, you can live with me!”

Okay, now, you were convinced some God was smiling down on you. You and Piper had toyed with the idea of living together ever since you were pre-teens, but you never thought that fantasy would ever actually come true

You moved in the following week

Living with Piper was a dream. The two of you were the same person in different fonts, so discussing boundaries and house rules was a breeze

As soon as you’d arrived, she took you to all her favourite places in California. Did this result in the two of you spending a disgustingly large amount of money? Maybe! But it was fun, so it didn’t really matter

She also promised to introduce you to all her friends, since she knew a couple people who were also starting at Jupiter University that fall. After much negotiation, you all had settled on meeting at a restaurant nearby in two weeks time, since you still needed to settle

Little did you know, you’d be meeting one of Piper’s friends earlier than the rest

Singer/songwriter Leo Valdez quickly rose in the charts after people fell in love with his unique music and his charming personality. All the hype had fueled his creativity and resulted in him releasing many albums in a very short amount of time

However, after every high comes a writer’s block, which is where Leo was at now. He wanted nothing more than to write and produce new music, but nothing seemed to inspire him - no matter how many walks he took or people he talked to, nothing good seemed to come out of him

His favourite person to mope to about his predicament was none other than Piper Mclean. He and Piper had met at some event his publicist forced him to go to a couple years ago and hit it off immediately, bonding over their dislike for how the industry worked and love of authenticity

So, after nearly breaking his guitar in frustration, Leo decided to pay Piper a surprise visit - 56th time’s the charm!

Meanwhile, you were making yourself a quick breakfast and typing up a quick grocery list. Turns out Piper had only moved back to California a couple days before you called her, so she didn’t have much to eat in her kitchen. You planned to surprise her with a variety of groceries as a little gift for her hospitality

Finishing off your list, you chose something random to watch and began eating your breakfast - well, almost

Before you could get a single bite in, someone loudly knocked on the door, disturbing your peace and causing you to nearly drop your bowl of cereal. You took a deep breath, deciding not to let this stranger ruin your day, and went to see who decided to visit Piper so early in the morning

Leo was expecting an aggravated, half-asleep Piper to open the front door, glaring at him whilst mumbling about him ruining her beauty sleep. Instead, he was met with the girl of his dreams, who looked him up and down before giving him a tentative smile

“Hello,” you said. The guy in front of you was kind of cute - brown curly hair, big brown eyes and a warm aura that radiated off of him. Something about him charmed you instantly

Fidgeting with the rings on his fingers, he said, “Uh, hi… Is Piper home?” Leo wasn’t usually shy, but you were too pretty and it was really early in the morning, he couldn’t help but lose eye contact with you

Moving to the side, you said, “yeah, she’s just asleep, but you can wait if you want.” How could he possibly turn around now?

Leo didn’t have to wait for very long, as Piper’s a very light sleeper. Hearing the conversation happening outside, she rolled out of bed, already knowing who her mystery guest is

“Leo, I see you’ve met my new roommate, Y/N,” she said, stifling a yawn as she made her way to where the two of you were sitting, “Y/N, this is my friend Leo Valdez - before you ask, yes, he’s that Leo. Please don’t feed into his massive ego.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, you didn’t know of any Leo Valdez. Biting your lip, you began recalling all your past conversations with Piper. Various names and stories came up, but no Leo

“Am I supposed to know who he is? Sorry, I can’t remember…” you said hesitantly, hoping he wasn’t that important

For a second, everyone was quiet, then Leo said, “you seriously don’t know? I’m America’s favourite singer! Have you never heard ‘Hey Blondie’ by me? Or ‘Açaí Bowl’?” At your silence and Leo’s exasperation, Piper laughed, which earned her a very nasty glare from America’s favourite singer himself

You shook your head, now feeling bad. You really didn’t want to offend this cute guy on your first meeting, “I’m sorry, but I’ve never listened to any of your music before… I’ll definitely check you out though!”

Leo was just joking with you, but even if he were upset, he couldn’t stay mad at your kind smile and determination to make it up to him. At the same time, he felt a wave of self consciousness wash over him - what if you didn’t like his music? Leo was usually pretty confident in his abilities, but he found himself needing to impress you

Luckily, you were the inspiration he needed to start writing a new album. When Leo got home, the words seemed to flow out of him in just the right way

After that day, Leo started showing up at your’s and Piper’s apartment much more often, except now it was to see you, not Piper. When she asked Leo about the increase in frequency of his visits, Leo made up some excuse about needing you to judge his songs since you were new to his music so your opinions would be less biased

However, Piper knew the truth. Leo was in love. Was that a bit of a bold statement considering he only knew you for a week? Maybe, but anyone who knew Leo knew that when he fell, he fell hard

You were charmed by Leo too. As the days progressed and summer leaves turned brown, you and Leo got closer and closer. You began going over to his apartment every once in a while, or hanging out at parks and cafes, all under the excuse of needing to help with his songs

Just like the leaves, Leo’s songs began to shift. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t help but write songs about you - you were on the forefront of his mind. Leo was enamoured by your bright eyes and kindhearted nature, it was only natural for him to begin writing songs about you

So, he embraced it. It was now nearing the one year anniversary of when the two of you met, so why not confess? If there was one thing Leo learnt from all the mistakes he made during his teen years, it was that there wasn’t much point in hiding things

However, he was Leo Valdez, the bad boy supreme himself, which meant he couldn’t just tell you outright. No, this had to be a special confession for a very special girl

Luckily, Leo was a pro at special confessions!

“Promise me you won’t listen to the album until the show, Y/N. I need you to get the authentic Valdez experience!” Leo told you over the phone. It was the night before the release of his new album and, to celebrate, Leo decided to host a quick and small show only a few minutes from where you lived - one you had front row tickets to

You thought this was a bit of a strange request but obliged, knowing how much this meant to Leo. At some point during his album-making journey, he started consulting you less. When you’d asked why, he said he wanted some of the songs on the album to be a surprise, which was fair enough, so you didn’t pry

Leo wasn’t lying: he did want some of the songs to be a surprise. Why? Well, because they were about you. Never in his life did Leo Valdez think he’d be writing love songs like the ones he wrote about you, especially after the horrible experience he had with his ex, Callie (wink wink)

When the night of the show came along, you and Piper got dressed and headed to the venue, matching VIP lanyards around your necks. You were really hoping to see Leo before the show and wish him luck, but Piper explained that Leo had his own special rituals to do before the show started so you weren’t going to see him. Oh well, you’d texted him a good luck message beforehand anyway

Leo rarely ever got nervous whenever he’d perform - he was used to it, after all. However, as he made his way onto the stage, his heart was beating the quickest and loudest it ever had. He scanned the crowds for your familiar head of hair, but unfortunately couldn’t spot you. However, he knew you were definitely out there

There’s no time better than the present. The crowd went silent as the first song started. The strumming of a guitar filled the venue, followed by a voice that wasn’t Leo’s

The song begun with a snippet of a voice message he’d received from you: “Fine, Leo, you’re so lucky I love you,” followed by a few giggles

Your eyes widened and at that moment, Leo finally saw you. As he looked into your eyes, everyone else disappeared. It was almost as if a show full of his biggest fans had turned into another afternoon spent in your room - you doing assignments while he played his guitar

“This is for you, I love you too,” he said, giving you a wink before beginning to sing

The rest of the concert was a blur. Was the album fantastic? Absolutely, it was one of the best you’d ever listened to. Unfortunately, you were too busy replaying that moment from the beginning of the show to be fully listening

You couldn’t believe Leo actually liked you back. You also couldn’t believe he liked you so much he was willing to announce it to the world - even though there were only a few people at his impromptu concert, the news would spread like wildfire

Somehow, you made it through the entire show without passing out. While everyone else proceeded to file out of the venue, you (and Piper) stayed behind. This conversation couldn’t wait a second longer than it already had

The security didn’t fight you as you made your way backstage, where Leo was busy tinkering with his instruments. Seeing him there as he hummed the tune of one of the songs he wrote just for you, you were filled to the brim with nothing but pure love

Piper stayed behind and watched as you ran to Leo, pulling him out of the trance his guitar pick had on him

“Hey,” he said, a goofy smile which matched yours making its way onto his face as you gave him what might’ve been the tightest hug he ever received. Leo breathed in the familiar scent of your shampoo and waited for you to pull away before saying, “I’m assuming you liked the show?”

Excitedly, you exclaimed, “liked it? Leo, I loved it! I’ve never seen anything like it!” While Leo was happy you enjoyed his concert, he still wasn’t satisfied. He needed you to acknowledge the opening song

The two of you stared at each other silently, waiting for the other to bring that up, both of you too nervous to say anything. Luckily, Piper wasn’t nervous

“Oh my God, guys, just say you’re in love with each other already!” She said, her voice cutting through the tension and allowing you to let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You smiled at her then turned to Leo, your smile growing at the mere sight of him

Cupping his face, you said, “I love you more, Valdez.”

#leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez #leo valdez x fem reader #pjo #pjo x reader #percy jackson x reader #leo valdez fanfic #leo valdez headcanons #cynwrites #singer leo valdez #modern au pjo #modern au hoo

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ayacokeandpepsi · 8 hours

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BITCHH OMGGG JEALOUS SEX WITH NI-KII

Cw: angst kinda, smut, friends to lovers, Riki is bad at emotions, mentions of ‘I love you’, possessive Riki, Riki cries a lot, unprotected sex

It would probably be like friends to lovers situation, seeing you flirting with another guy, just being friends.

Seeing you tuck your hair behind your ear and playfully touch his arm would be enough to walk away and leave a short and ambiguous text, something like ‘I need to talk to you’

When you finally meet up again, he wouldn’t be able to express his feelings with words, boy is not good with words lol. He would just pull you into a kiss and then quickly break it, seeing if you wanted it.

He wouldn’t know what to do per say, since he’s definitely a virgin with no experience with a girl friend, but his emotions would take over and not care and just do what he feels, knowing that you want him too.

Would be little to no talking, just sounds of panting and kissing and belts coming undone filled the air as you got to his hotel room, his hair messy now after your fingers being ran through it

He would pick you up effortlessly, sitting you on a dress before going in to kiss you again, this time more needy and desperate.

‘Please, I need you, I need you to be mine’ he sighs as he kisses your neck, softly sucking as he holds your waist in place

‘I hate how I feel when I see you with him,’ he says as he kisses your shoulders, reaching behind you to undo your bra

His fingers find your hair and run through it as he pulls you in to kiss your lips, biting the bottom one and sighing

‘Say you need me,’ he begs, his eyes red and puffy with emotion

‘I need you,’ you say, cupping his cheek as you palm him through his jeans, making him groan softly

He swiftly takes off his white tee, revealing his body, as you undo his belt and pull him out from his chrome hearts briefs, eliciting a gasp and moan from him

‘Tell me to stop,’ he whispers into your neck, you can feel hot tears running down his cheeks

You pull away from him and look into his eyes, his pupils big and eyebrows furrowed

‘Riki…’ you bring your face close to him, connecting your lips softly, reassuring him

He was so vulnerable like this, he didn’t cry in front of anyone, not even you

You pulled his head into your neck, stroking his hair, whispering words of apologies to him, he hugged you by your waist tighter

You stayed like this for a moment before you felt the tears stop coming, small pecks on your neck

‘I love you,’ he whispers, kissing up your neck to your jaw and up your cheek to your eyes

He paused realizing his confession

‘Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-‘ you shut him up with a kiss

You stroke him again, watching his brows furrow in pleasure. ‘Do you want me, Riki?’ You sigh

‘Fuck, yes,’ he practically moans, pulling down his briefs for you as you slide your panties to the floor below you, his hand massaging your clit as he inserts his middle finger, gasping at how easily it slid in

He added his ring finger, his palm pressing against your clit each time he when in and out of you

You stop him, ‘I need you,’ you look in his eyes filled with greed and want

‘Are you sure you want to-‘ you lined him up with your pussy, pressing the tip in

He cursed, his eyes rolling back a little as his head tipped back

He needed you, and you needed him

#niki smut #enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #riki smut #n1k1smut #riki hard thoughts #ni ki hard thoughts #ayacokeandpepsithots #rikihardhours

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gloomwitchwrites · 3 days

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Congratulations on 1k followers! That's amazing!!

Could I please request Soap NSFW Alphabet pretty please??? <3

Thank you so much!!!

Ugh, Soap. I love that man. Really, I adore all of the 141 men, but Soap is such a goofy guy. And an NSFW alphabet about him? Yes please. You are indulging me, anon.

1k follower event rules

NSFW Alphabet Template (with a few changes)

Word Count: 1.3k

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

This might be a controversial opinion, but Johnny just isn’t that great at aftercare. Not that he doesn’t try—he absolutely does try—but it’s not up to the standard that it could be. Johnny will snuggle you, and cuddle, but everything else beyond that might slip is mind. Johnny only thinks about cleanup when his cum is on your body and not in you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

He loves your neck and he loves the way his hand looks when it’s holding on to it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

While Johnny loves finishing inside you, he also loves marking your body with his cum. He fucking loves kneeling over you, jerking himself, and painting your stomach, thighs, and chest with his cum. He loves it even more when you clean yourself up by wiping it up with your fingers and putting them in your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Once had a foursome with a random woman at a bar that Gaz and Ghost joined in on. While the three of them didn’t interact with each other, Johnny couldn’t help but admire.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Johnny is experienced. He knows what he’s doing, but sometimes his enthusiasm wins out and he gets a little sloppy. If he’s absolutely lost in the pussy, he’s likely to slip out repeatedly and be a bit of a mess.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. He loves being able to see your ass and squeeze it while he’s fucking you. Johnny also loves the fact that he can watch his cock slide in and out of you. Turns him on.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Totally goofy. He loves being silly with you before, during, and after. Even when he messes up or something goes wrong, Johnny can make a joke out of it and keep going without a second thought. But sometimes all he wants is to be deep inside you and being goofy isn’t something he’s interested in.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Carpet matches the drapes, and Johnny is groomed. He knows he’s an attractive guy, and he takes care of himself.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Johnny and intimacy are a bit of a mixed bag. When it comes to every day acts of intimacy, Johnny is pretty good. But intimacy during sex can be a little bit of a toss-up. Johnny will verbally affirm how you make him feel during the act. When he’s completely lost in your body, Johnny is more prone to murmuring and whispering how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s with you, there really isn’t any need for Johnny to masturbate. When he’s on leave…Johnny does masturbate and he’s only ever thinking of you when he does it. It gives him plenty of time to think about all the stuff he wants to do with you when he gets back.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Spanking. He could get off just smacking and playing with your ass. Begging. Johnny loves it when you beg for his cock or his mouth. He’ll draw it out and won’t give in until he’s good and ready.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Johnny is down for any place, any time. Just say the word and he’s down.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Highly motivated. Usually all it takes it for you to give him a hint and he’s on. But Johnny is deeper than that. He adores physical touch. Passing touches, and even the intentional ones, make him yearn for you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Choking and breath play. It’s not that he isn’t completely open to it but Johnny doesn’t want to accidentally cause you harm. Your safety is important, and anything that might potentially hurt you is off the table until the two of you can figure out a safe way to do it. He might like his hand on your neck during sex, but he’d never put pressure on it or squeeze.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

An absolute giver. Johnny is ravenous when it comes to oral. He loves eating you out and hearing all the sounds you make while it happens. He equally enjoys receiving, and loves it when you take him deep.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Johnny is more on the fast and rough end. He can be slow and sensual but it is always intentional when he does. Johnny is typically steady. If he’s moving fast or even rough, it’s because he’s completely lost in you and is seeking his end.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves a good quickie. Adores them. Sometimes Johnny will just bend you over the nearest thing and have his way with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Johnny is down to take risks in the bedroom. Some of the harder stuff might be off the table, but he’ll be willing to do it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Lots of stamina. Like…an insane amount. All this man needs is to cockwarm a bit before he wants to go at it again.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Thinks they’re silly, and will be a complete goober with them if brought into the bedroom.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

An absolute tease. Johnny is unfair to the bone. He will tease and play until you’re begging for relief.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Johnny isn’t loud but he is very vocal and liberal with his moans, groans, and grunts. Johnny is a moaner at the end. Cannot change my mind about that.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Although Johnny never verbally says it, he loves watching you undress. While he loves it in an intimate capacity, he also loves it when you’re just changing your clothes or stripping before hopping into the shower. He is always in awe of you.

X = Xtra (an additional headcanon)

When he’s hitting it from the back, Johnny loves holding the back of your neck or tangling your hair in his fist and pulling lightly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High. Johnny would happily go all day and all night.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Immediately. Don’t need to say more.

taglist:

@km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @childofyuggoth

@miaraei @coffeecaketornado @aykxz98 @kayden666 @unhinged-reader-36

@pearljamislife @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @sapphichotmess

@enfppuff @berarenado @saoirse06 @haven-1307 @ninman82

@no-oneelsebutnsu @thewulf @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan

@beebeechaos @enarien @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666

@lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67

@contractedcriteria @lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @kidd3ath @leed-bbg

@blackhawkfanatic @suhmie @tulipsun-flower @ghosts-hoe @jaggersinclair

@nomercyforthewarrior @dakotakazansky @talooolaaloolla @hantheconqueror @littlemisscriesherselftosleep

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cryscendo · 1 day

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klaine and a risky kiss between forbidden lovers…..perhapssssss…perchance……

so you said “forbidden lovers” and i heard “angel and demon au” naturally. so that’s what this is i hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson

Word Count: 1596

Rating: M (for minor sexual themes)

if you’d like to request a fic, check out the prompt list here!

fic can be read under the cut <3

Kurt is the worst, Blaine has decided. He’s arrogant and entitled and absolutely goes against everything that Blaine stands for.

And he’s also a literal demon from Hell. That feels important to mention.

Things have settled between Heaven and Hell in the recent decades. Which, by all accounts, is a good thing. However, that is not to say that there isn’t an undercurrent of something sinister brewing, quite literally, just beneath the surface. Hell has been a bit too quiet and that is setting off some serious red flags to the angels upstairs. So for that, many angels, Blaine himself included, have been sent down to Earth for reconnaissance purposes.

Kurt should not be here.

And not because demons shouldn’t be on Earth. That goes without saying, but they traipse the human-land all the time anyway so it’s not really worth discussing. They’re going to do whatever the hell they want.

No, Kurt shouldn’t be here. Around a collection of other angels that most definitely are not going to be too fond of seeing him. See, Kurt wasn’t always a demon. But as it would turn out, falling from grace can have some very complicated side effects.

Blaine could sense him immediately. How could he not? Kurt managed to be all around him at all times. It was as frustrating as it was intoxicating. Blaine allots himself so little decadence in his life that when Kurt enters his psyche, it becomes a bit overwhelming.

An angel’s job is to serve — to be subservient. Which is probably why Kurt never fit the mold.

But Blaine could practically taste him now. Granted, he’s had practice.

Blaine did his best to slink away from the other angels that congregated in this little run down dive bar. Hiding in plain sight; that was always the methodology. To an innocent, naïve onlooker, Blaine and his fellow men were just a bunch of guys getting drinks together. That was all just a very well-placed façade however. Blaine was working, for lack of a better term. Or rather trying to work, if it weren’t for the incessant presence nearby.

He should ignore it. He shouldn’t entertain Kurt in this way.

He found him. Kurt was tucked away in a corner at the bar, just out of sight of the tables of angels. Any of them would be able to sense Kurt if they were searching for him. He was playing a dangerous game, but Blaine suspected that Kurt already knew that.

“What are you doing here?” Blaine questioned, not interested in playing any games.

Kurt, however, didn’t seem to have the same sentiment. He merely sipped his drink casually before turning towards Blaine, haunting silvery-blue eyes meeting his own. “What, can’t a guy get a drink every now and again?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Blaine stated, giving off an air of no-nonsense.

Kurt sighs in exasperation, rolling his eyes. “Is it such an ordeal that I should want to come see you, angel? I heard you were coming down to visit, and I just couldn’t stay away.”

“How’d you hear that?”

Kurt grinned up at him pridefully. “I happen to still have friends in high places,” he said pleasantly. “Next time you see Mercedes while you’re prancing around up there, let her know that I’d love to see her soon. It’s been far too long.” Kurt pats the open seat next to him at the bar. “Now sit. I doubt we will have long before your little friends come looking for you, and I’d really like to chat for a minute.”

Blaine considered rejecting Kurt’s offer. He most definitely didn’t need the distraction. However, after looking back at the table of angels and deducing that they had yet to notice his departure, he apprehensively sat down. Kurt looked all too excited about this.

“So I’m going to ask again, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Kurt countered, tipping his drink towards Blaine to further punctuate his statement. “I must say, angel, this isn’t really your scene. I picture you more in a white gown singing hymns in a cathedral while the heavens open up and cast a glimmering light right down on you. However, this…” Kurt tugged playfully at Blaine’s bowtie. “… is an adorable look on you as well.”

It was then that Blaine was finally able to properly take stock of what Kurt was wearing. Red and black always suited him, and it looked beautiful on him now. Black lace-up boots with black jeans only allowed for his crimson button up to stand out vividly. He looked every bit the demon that he was supposed to be. Alluring, feline, Blaine was painfully familiar with it.

“Working,” was all that Blaine offered in response.

Kurt scoffed. “Aren’t you always? That’s all you seem to do these days.”

“You know how the job goes,” reminded Blaine.

The sigh that Kurt released was one that indicated that he really did in fact know. “Well, that’s a damn shame. I’ve missed having you around.” Kurt set down his drink on the bar and moved his hand to slide up Blaine’s thigh. He looked incredibly relaxed like this, but Blaine could feel the tension Kurt was feeling from having so many angels that hated him in such close proximity. Kurt looked past Blaine towards the table and gave a brief moment of hesitation.

“You really shouldn’t be hanging out around here, y’know. It’s not safe. They’ll kill you if they see you.” Kurt didn’t let on how nervous he was, but he didn’t need to. When Kurt fell, he sacrificed a lot of his power in the fall. He was no match for an angel, no matter how coy he played.

Kurt gave a squeeze to Blaine’s thigh. “I don’t know how you stick around with that crowd. Are you not miserable?” It wasn’t a question that necessitated a response, so Blaine didn’t give one. “They’re all so truly obsessed with me.”

Blaine couldn’t help but grin at Kurt’s comment. “Well, I suppose that’s what happens when you end up on Heaven’s Most Wanted.”

“I’m wanted?” Kurt asked, obviously leaning into a teasing tone. “Well, I must say I’m flattered. But unfortunately for Heaven, I fear I am already spoken for.”

“That right?” Blaine questions, allowing himself to play along with Kurt’s game just this once.

“Oh sure. The guy is a real angel,” Kurt taunted, sparing another look towards the group of divinity, ensuring they weren’t catching wind of Blaine’s absence. They hadn’t yet, but they surely didn’t have long. Then, Kurt’s tone shifted into something far more serious and subtly desperate as he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Leave them and come with me.”

Blaine knew this was coming, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Kurt interrogated, his voice hushed and grave. The hand on Blaine’s thigh slid up to cup over his clothed crotch, though Kurt made no move to squeeze as he had been before. Kurt’s actions and his words contradicted one another, furthering the reality that Kurt was a storm of contradictions. “You can’t honestly tell me you’re happy like this? Serving a being who you’ve never met and likely doesn’t give a fuck about you.”

“Well, are you any happier now than you were before the fall?” Kurt bit at his lip then, casting a glance at the table of angels and then back to Blaine. Then, Kurt finally pushed on, giving a quick squeeze of Blaine’s cock through fabric, earning a low groan past Blaine’s lips. To an outsider, they just looked like a couple that was getting a bit too handsy in public. Unfortunately, it went far deeper than that.

Kurt whispered, his lips just a few short inches away from Blaine’s. “I could be. I miss you,” he confessed. Blaine missed him too. He really, really did. He slid a hand along Kurt’s arm, feeling the tense muscles there. They didn’t really have time for this.

“You need to make yourself disappear,” Blaine lamented a bit painfully.

Kurt bristled at his words. “Fine,” he said in a clipped tone. He pressed against Blaine’s cock with his palm again with determination, earning another muffled noise from the angel. “But understand this, Blaine, you’re going to realize that Heaven isn’t all it's cracked up to be one day, and when you do, I’ll be the one that you’ll seek out for guidance. It’s always going to be me.”

Suddenly, as if they were forced together by the magnetism of heated glances and adrenaline, their lips crashed together in a forceful kiss. It was always like this, with them saying a bitter goodbye that is sealed with star-crossed affections. That certainly didn’t make it any easier no matter how many times they played this game.

But Kurt was right. It was always going to be him.

The kiss lingered for some time. The touch, which had started off as rough and primal, melted into something a bit more gentle, emotional, intimate. Blaine allowed himself to sink into the taste of Kurt on his lips. He tasted of alcohol mixed with something venomously divine.

Eventually and far too soon, Kurt moved away. They locked eyes for a moment before Kurt finally stood.

“Well, until next time, angel,” he said simply. A hand grazed gently across Blaine’s cheek as Kurt brushed by him. But when Blaine turned to watch after him, Kurt had already done what Blaine suggested, and made himself disappear.

#glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine #my fic #klaine fic #my stuff #ask prompt #i went a bit out into left field with this one but that’s okay 🥰

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bi-hop · 9 hours

Note

coming back to the kabru is like jesus if he was judas comparison. I think it's interesting that kabru always knew that he couldn't be the one to conquer the dungeon so he wanted to find people who could and support them, because he knows he's an excellent judge of character.

but the thing is, he still wants to be the hero. he still has a saviour complex. he's still envious that laios of all people is the one who has the potential to beat the mage. i think he wanted to be the one™ in some way . he *needed* to be needed by laios, he wanted to be like hermes, a psychopomp, or maybe charon, the ferryman that guides laios. so when laios /ignored/ him (not laios' fault truly he just . bad timing. sorry kabru) he felt resentful and yet even more determined to get in laios' orbit, to be the light. to be important in his eyes, like, judas when he said to the woman who used expensive oil to clean jesus ' feet. he said "why not just give it to the poor?" because he wanted praise. he wanted his teacher to look at him and go "look, i listened to you! i know what you teach!"

thats why laios rubbed off on him and he used a nutrition metaphor even because hes like. he wants to be jesus (the one to sacrifice himself and save the world from the dungeons to prevent another utaya) but hes judas (the adversary. the supporter from the shadows. the one who shows the soldiers (canaries) who jesus is. the one who " reported " him in the first place)

anyway yeah I think he has. a Jesus complex and when he met Laios he got mad with envy because he realized he was Judas help me

this is so good, turning it over in my head.

an element of kabru's character that grabbed me early on and is reinforced as he begins to bet on laios is his preoccupation with morality. people complain about the murder (bc people are lame BUT I DIGRESS!) but don't typically focus on the justifications he gives. even without knowing about the demon's nature, he is able to understand that greed and violence will only beget more of the same as those who can adapt will turn worse and those who cannot will be exploited or flee. for him, it's like ripping out weeds from a garden to protect what he cherishes.

I agree that he feels very self-critical when he finally admits that he can't be the knight in shining armor that he wants to be, due to his inability to survive as long as he wants in the dungeon. even without the motivation of going back to save falin, laios and his party had already went further on a regular basis than he has.

(shake me if I'm remembering wrong, but when we first meet kabru's party, isn't it one of their first times ever successfully making it to the third floor? lmao.)

and so the point to me was always that, yes, kabru wants to be the guy and yes, his party supports him as the guy, but realistically? he'd need someone else to at the very least support him. but he's very practical so it made immediate sense to me that he'd start looking for someone who he can either trust to take on the role or who is capable enough to get to a point where kabru could then take over. (again, all pre-finding out what being a dungeon lord truly means)

despite the latter being an option though, kabru's preoccupation with morality still stands. if he was truly the cold rational being some people seem to see him as, it would have been simple to simply throw his lot in with the first strong yet horrible person he observed. but he's picky selective. even with laios as his choice, he's CONSTANTLY fighting The Demons about it. his nightmare alone makes it clear that he has extremely well-rooted doubts and fears about what laios might do.

^ funniest page ever to me btw

but despite that, he still continually does the work of supporting him, albeit with a lot of setbacks and complications OADSJDODSOJD

i don't necessarily think the lens that we're currently taking is what ryoko intended but to conclude it is funny the themes of betrayal because technically kabru does betray laios' trust once lycion's like "ayo, he hates monster food btw, he's a SNAKE" and then he fumbles his way into... sort of regaining it? kinda? of course, by post-canon, he has it fully back, but speaking exclusively of the main story here.

#long post #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #kabru of utaya #laios touden

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dyns33 · 13 hours

Text

Only Wastelands part 3

The people have spoken ! Viva the Ghoul ! Feo fuerte y formal. And since I'm all three of that, I'll give you part 3 and not a new story.

Just, be patient, it will be a longer series than even I expected. I think 5 or 6 parts.

Tag : @one-of-thewalkingdead @coolrobloxkid28 @thebumbqueen @rachmari @ilyvia @justme12200 @honeybunhottie @savanahc @gobbodoggo @bisasterbisexual @killingboredom @bonafideyapper @i-simp-for-mha-men @pixelatedprofilepic @ultimatreality @chattersstuff @harmfulb1tch @hellolettuce444 @miketastic25 @darkangel4121 @avidreadee123 @kaitttttttt @nullx1ety

It was now official, Y/N was the unluckiest person in all of the wastelands.

The only thing she had always wanted since she came out of her hole was to survive, for as long as possible, having to do as little harm as possible, and staying all alone, far from creatures, people, Cooper and Vault Tech.

Henry MacLean's smile clearly indicated his pre-atomization work. Smooth talking, manipulating, complimenting and lying to get what he wanted.

No doubt he was considered gifted at the time, but Lucy's father didn't seem to have fully understood that the rules had changed and those who remained had adapted.

He needed a guide and a bodyguard to get to a high-security shelter. Like his daughter, he had a keen eye, he had spotted her as she was about to leave New Vegas, and her pitboy had left him thinking that they were part of the same side.

Y/N would have told him that she only had one side, hers, but she was smart enough to keep a neutral face while he spoke to her. Were all the inhabitants of the Vault so damn talkative ?

"If you come with me, if you help me, I can guarantee you a special place in a wonderful vault. You will be safe, fed, with water, clothes, a bed. It's a good deal, right ?”

“And what makes you think they’ll welcome you with open arms ?”

The question seemed to confuse him for a moment, then he put on his fake smile again, pretending that everything would be fine and that his friends wouldn't let him down.

Either he was totally stupid or he was deluding himself. Hope took a long time to die here.

In any case, even if the deal was tempting, everything was against accepting it. Because she couldn't trust Henry and Vault, because she didn't want to go back underground, because Cooper was looking for this guy and her primery goal was to never see the Ghoul again.

The problem was the armor. Now that he had spotted her and considered her to be his best means of reaching his destination, MacLean was not going to let her go so easily.

He could shoot her if she tried to flee, and he would be hard to kill with his protection. Coop had told her about a malfunction, but Y/N wasn't sure where it was.

To continue to survive, it was therefore wiser to follow MacLean, returning his smile, waiting for the ideal moment to disappear. But the man was not as stupid as he seemed, and he refused to sleep, never leaving her side.

Still less clever than Lucy, he did not connect their pitboys.

When they arrived at his destination, Y/N was sure that this was the end. Vault Tech was made up of assholes, so they were going to kill their dear employee, or they were going to leave him out, and most certainly, they were going to kill her.

But no. In their hypocritical pretense of saviors of humanity, the doors were opened and they were received as nobles.

It would be a lie to say that Y/N didn't appreciate the hot shower she was able to take in her private room. The first in years. She savored the food, she resisted jumping on the bed like a child, and she cried a bit while watching TV, showing scenes of the life before, lost forever.

And after a presentation on community life in the shelters, a movie. An old Western film. With the main star, Cooper Howard.

Y/N had never seen his movies. She had seen the posters, she had heard of the actor, he appeared in Vault ads until his divorce and the accusations of communism.

More serious than in the picture he had given her, quite ridiculous with his fringed suit, he gave a moral lesson to his enemy, saying that killing was wrong. Ah, Coop would die laughing if he heard that now.

This thought made her a little sad. Y/N was mad at him, and at the same time she put herself in his boots.

He had been betrayed by his ex-wife, he had been separated from his daughter, he had transformed into a sort of zombie, still conscious thanks to medication but in danger of losing his mind at any moment, wandering for eternity in the wastelands, where he could be killed, insulted, or see those he took the risk of loving die in front of him.

Maybe he had loved her at one time. She wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that this man on the screen hadn't disappeared, he was just hurt, bruised, and wanting to protect himself. So it was normal that he didn't want to keep a burden like her any longer.

She had to keep the good memories.

His laugh, the time they danced together in a ruined dinner, his arm around her as she slept on his shoulder.

When he called her a fucking pet, a good ribbance, no one he cared about.

It was a bit out of boredom, and mostly thinking about her next move, that Y/N hacked into the vault's system, to look at their little secrets and get useful information, like where the food was stored and how to get out without being spotted.

She didn't expect to see the name Howard. Barbara and Janey Howard.

Obviously she had fallen into the main, original, most important Vault, which brought together people deemed to be priorities such as the president of the country, the president of Vault Tech, their advisors and their families.

He wasn't as important, and that's why he'd been placed elsewhere, but Henry had been loyal, and he could tell them about the state of the outside world, so they'd let him in. Y/N’s fate was still to be determined.

Leaving now, stealing supplies and waiting for nightfall would have been easy for her. The best thing to do.

But Y/N had often imagined this little girl, adored by her father. Cooper didn't talk about her often, his voice shaking whenever he mentioned Janey. His little Janey.

No doubt he would be here soon, he could get her back himself. But what if he couldn't do it ? What if he was killed trying ? What if the little girl was killed because, thinking she wasn't there, he blew everything up ?

It was not stated whether Barbara was still alive. Y/N didn’t really care. This woman could use her status as a mother all she wanted to justify her actions, what she had done was abominable.

At her request, Janey had been put to sleep, and she was not to be awakened until the outside was perfectly safe and sound, and then the world would be hers.

It was impossible to tell whether that was a good thing or not, whether it wouldn't have been better if she had simply grown up in the Vault after the explosion, or if she hadn't survived to never see all this.

But it was not the time for useless questions like this. Not anymore. Using all her knowledge and discretion, Y/N sneaked up to the cryonyzation chambers.

One thing was certain, Janey was her father's daughter. She had his look, stubborn and clever like him, immediately wary of this stranger who asked her to follow her. Her parents had often told her not to follow people she didn't know.

"Hold on." Y/N said kindly as she took out the photo Cooper had given her. "Look. Your dad gave her to me. He told me a lot about you. His favorite cowgirl. He's looking for you everywhere."

That wasn't entirely true. He had looked for her everywhere. Despair had slowed his motivation a bit after a hundred years.

"Daddy ? You know where my daddy is ?"

"Yes. I'll take you to see him, all right ?"

Her smile. Even the sun was not as radiant as the smile of this little girl, who jumped into her arms, happy to be able to find her daddy.

Y/N would later think about how she didn't want to find the father, and that Janey would be in for a bit of a shock if they ended up meeting him.

After all, Cooper had changed, physically and mentally. It wasn't going to be so easy to explain to her that he had had health problems, but that it was really him, without a nose, with charred skin, yellow teeth, and blood on his hands.

Children were rare in the wastelands. It wasn't a place for them, people weren't crazy enough to procreate. Some could no longer do so, because of the radiation. And the little ones often left very early, for various reasons, both sad and horrible.

She no longer really remembered how to behave around a child, nor how a child behave. For the moment, the little girl was calm, holding her hand as she followed her out of the shelter.

But she might be scared outside. Not obeying, walking too slowly, shouting. Oh, she shouldn't scream, that would attract all the raiders and deathclaws in the area. And if something happened to her, then after three years, the Ghoul would finally come for Y/N.

Just, not to save her.

"It's very dangerous out there. Okay, Janey ?" she explained, kneeling down in front of the little girl to look her in the eyes. "You're going to have to be brave, and do everything I say. Can you do that ?"

"Yes."

"You promise me ? It really wouldn't be easy."

“We cowpokes take it as it comes.” Janey said proudly, her smile as adorable as ever, but her expression showing her seriousness. She understood well.

"Alright. So, don't make a sound. You stay calm, you stay close to me unless I tell you to hide, and you wait for me to come get you."

“And we’re going to see my daddy ?”

"… Yes. We're going to see your dad. We just have to… He loves you a lot, he's been a little sick."

“I’ll give him a kiss so he can heal.”

"We'll see about that. I have Radaway. I'm going to open the door, and I'm going to carry you, because there's a chance the turrets will shoot at us. Don't scream, hold on tight and trust me."

Janey continued to smile, giving a thumbs up. She may not have understood everything after all, but that was normal at her age.

Her little hands would squeeze tighter when they were outside, the heat and putrid air beating down on them, but she didn't make a sound, her head in her neck, while Y/N ran as fast as possible away from here, taking cover, dodging gunfire and ignoring alarms.

In the desert, you couldn't stop until you were sure you were alone, hidden by the night. Then they could sit down, drink a bit, and look at the direction they had to take.

And looking at the map of her pitboy, where Lucy MacLean's exact location was flashing happily, Y/N sighed, adjusting Janey against her so she was sleeping in a comfortable position, knowing full well where she needed to go.

It was time to face her demons.

#fallout #the ghoul #cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard imagine #cooper howard fanfiction

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whatitsdecending · 1 day

Text

Higher (II Oneshot)

After years of constant conflict in your relationship with II, you’ve finally hit the breaking point after two consecutive nights of distress that somehow involved him.

Word Count: 8.2k

Content warning: intense situations, excessive drinking, smoking, intentions of SA, fighting, some bondage, dominant male, submissive female

~~~

“And I know we instigate, go back and forth, lacerate. ‘Cause you can remember only when you’re alone, I am granting you more than the debt that I owe.”

—————————

The bell atop of the door rang as it swung open, making you stop the task you were doing and come around from the back room. You wiped the dust that had collected on your hands along the soft denim of your jeans, trying to make yourself a little more presentable for the customer that just walked in.

“Hi there, welcome to-” You stopped in your tracks when a very familiar face came into view. “Vessel? What are you doing here?” The words came out as excited squeaks when you saw one of your closest friends in the world standing in front of the metal section at the record store.

“Figured you still worked here so I decided to stop by and pay you a visit.” He held his long arms open for a hug, you quickly jumped into them and held him tight. It was so refreshing to see your friend after so long as he’s been busy doing the thing he loved most: traveling the world and playing his music.

You peaked an eye open while you embraced him and noticed his shorter companion. He shuffled through the box of vinyls in front of him, clearly doing his best to ignore every part of the interaction between you and Vessel.

II. Vessel’s closest friend, (besides you of course), and the drummer of his band. For years ever since the band started, the two of you had some sort of hatred for the other. Whenever you were invited to watch them rehearse or even write music, he met you with a cold shoulder and never enjoyed your company.

It was all so strange to you this random hatred from him but you took it and kept it tucked away in the hidden depths of your mind. So now, seeing him here with Vessel was a bit strange knowing he did everything he could to stay away from you.

“So,” Vessel said as he pulled away. “What’s new with you?” Your lip curled into a wide grin at the sound of the groan that came from II, clearly indicating he did not want to know what’s “new with you”. So, you began rambling on and on about everything going on in your life since you last saw Vessel. Although some of the things you did mention over the phone a few times, being able to fully explain in person is what you preferred.

After about twenty minutes of talking and updating each other, the bell for the back door rang and you groaned loudly. “They couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Who?” Vessel called as you started walking to the back door.

“Fucking shipment. They said either today or tomorrow they were bringing in a huge shipment of restock and new stuff.” You let the delivery guy in to put the boxes around the backroom, watching as they piled up and up. You thanked the guy and signed what you needed to, then closed the door and sighed at the large stacks. It was about to be a long night. With no one else here to help you out, you were going to be staying late to get all of it done.

You shuffled back out to where the guys were, finding them marveling at some of the albums they found. “Hate to do it to you guys, but I gotta kick you out so I can get all the shipment started.”

Vessel looked up and had sadness in his eyes. “You can’t get anyone in to help you?”

You gently kicked at the nearest shelf of record slips. “No. It’s frustrating being the only person with the most open availability. It’s okay, when I close the store I’ll just crank up some music and power through it.” Just another thing leading you to quitting your job and finding something better to do, something you actually enjoy doing and nothing that will cause you as much stress as this place has.

“Well…” Vessel glanced at II who was busy reading the back of an album. “Would it be wrong for us to help you out?”

II’s head shot up at that. “What?”

A smirk threatened to break through your frown. “Seeing that I’m the manager here, I don’t think it would be a problem.” Vessel jabbed II in the side after he muttered something you couldn’t hear.

“Put us to work, boss.”

————

The lock clicked into place as the clock hit 8pm. The day was over for the store, but for you it was really just getting started. You did any final adjustments to any of the displays that might’ve been moved out of place and then headed into the backroom, where the conversation between Vessel and II lured you in.

They both worked on separate boxes, organizing the new items in the way you directed them to. Despite his protesting, II was actually making quicker work than Vessel and seemed to be enjoying himself a bit. But, they were both constantly getting distracted by the new stuff.

“Alright guys.” You sighed, noting the pile of boxes was still huge and they really didn’t get through much in the two hours they’ve been back here. “I’m gonna crank some music and you can’t complain about what I put on.”

“But can we make requests?” Vessel asked.

“Absolutely not.” You connected your phone to the speaker that was kept in the backroom and hit shuffle on the mega playlist of songs you loved. You knew there would be songs the two of them both liked, so you picked out the ones they like and queued them up. The least you could do for all the help they’re giving you.

Another hour passed by, and with you now working on the boxes the pile was quickly shrinking. Until, Vessel paused and looked at his phone. His brows furrowed as you watched him quickly type back some response to the message he received.

“I hate to be the one to quit first, but I’ve got a cat emergency.” He explained his girlfriend Rae had sent him frantic texts that their cat escaped and she can’t find it. “I’m really sorry Y/N.”

You suppressed the eye roll. “It’s alright.” You jerked your head in II’s direction. “I’m assuming you were his ride here?”

“I was.” Vessel pocketed his phone and looked over at II who was busy organizing the newer albums in alphabetical order. “You coming, II?” The shorter one pulled his attention from the stacks, his bright blue eyes gleaming bright.

“Actually… I’d like to stay, if that doesn’t bother Y/N.” He said, subconsciously tapping along to the beat of the song playing.

You could feel Vessel’s gaze on you as you decided between your options. Stay here and deal with II but simultaneously get out of here a lot quicker… or have him go with Vessel and you’ll be here for a long time when you’re already beyond exhausted?

“I’d greatly appreciate it if you stayed.” You saw Vessel do two dramatic turns, one to you and one to II like the craziest thing just came out of your mouth. “Just don’t get in my way.” II gave you a small nod and went back to what he was doing.

Vessel grabbed his things and then wrapped you in a tight hug. “Don’t murder each other, please.” He murmured into your ear.

“No promises.” You whispered back, giving him a wink as he pulled away. He waved goodbye to the both of you and left through the backdoor, since you were too lazy to let him out the front.

You sighed and grabbed the next box for you to work on, letting the music lure you into a focus where nothing else in the room mattered besides getting this shit done.

————

You didn’t know what time it was as you pulled one of the last five boxes out of the stack. You were exhausted and lightheaded, the lights back here were making your head pound and induce more of those nerve racking black spots in your vision.

You let out a deep breath and inhaled another, trying to steady your body so you wouldn’t pass out. Your grip on the box was slipping as you could feel your hands grow weak. Fuck, this is really going to happen, isn’t it?

The box slid from your hands and hit the floor with a loud thud as the black spots completely clouded your vision. There was a distant shout but it was all muffled for you as your body hit the floor.

Even with your vision completely gone and the use of your body no longer in your control, you could still hear the very, very muffled sounds of the racing footsteps approaching you and your name being called.

What felt like an eternity soon began to pass as you regained consciousness. You could feel the pair of hands pressed against the sides of your head, the sound of your name becoming clearer as II’s features flooded your vision. His bright blue eyes were wide with worry although his body seemed to relax a bit.

“Christ, Y/N.” He bit out. “Had me worried I was about to be part of an investigation.” You rolled your eyes and went to sit up, pushing his hands away from your face. The movement made your head swirl again and you fell back a bit, only to be caught by II. “You look terrible. Are you ill?”

“No.” You mumbled. He placed his hand on your forehead to check for a fever, the only thing he found was your hand swatting him away. “I’m fine, II. The exhaustion and no breaks today just got to me.” You glanced around at the boxes still left. “You can leave now, let Vessel know he can get you.”

“You know it’s one in the morning, right?” He stood up, holding a hand out for you to take. “He would not be awake right now, plus I think the best thing for me to do would be to get you home and get something in your stomach. Here.” He handed you a water that he must’ve found in the fridge back here.

You reluctantly took it. “I don’t need you to look after me, I’m going to be fine.” After taking a long sip of the cool water and a few deep breaths, you say, “An Uber would work just fine for you to get home. I have to get this done.”

His hand wrapped around your arm and stopped you in your place. “Listen, with the way you look right now and with you just passing out, I’m not gonna let you keep overworking yourself. Now give me your keys so I can drive you home.” He stared you down, clearly not about to back away from this offer and become as stubborn as he needs to be. And in all honesty, you really did feel like shit and it worried you that you could pass out driving home.

A triumphant smirk was plastered on II’s face as you sat in the passenger seat of your own car. Luckily you didn’t live too far and at this time of night the roads were basically empty, so you did not have to spend any more time than necessary with him.

“Thank you.” You muttered as you sat at a red light.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” The boasting tone basically dripped off his tongue, making you cross your arms and glare at him.

“I said thank you.”

“Ah, I thought that’s what I heard.” He chuckled and tapped the steering wheel. “You’re welcome.” You remained silent for the rest of the ride, not wanting to boost his ego anymore.

Your apartment building came into view and the second he parked the car you raced out. Walking as quickly as possible to get into the building. A quick whistle from behind stopped you in your tracks. “Don’t you need your keys to get inside, love?” Your blood boiled at the name and you turned back, marching over to him and snatching the keys from his hand. “Do I get another ‘thank you’?”

It took everything in you to not explode in anger at him. Why, why? You’ll never understand the issue between the two of you. All you’ve shown him since you met was kindness, but now you don’t think that was going to make him like you in the tiniest bit. It bothered you, it truly did despite all the times you’ve told yourself that it didn’t.

You turned back and gave him a tight smile. “Goodnight, II.” You couldn’t care less that you’re leaving him out here in the cold at two in the morning, you didn’t care that he didn’t have a car to get him home or was going to have to order himself an Uber. You just wanted him to leave.

And he did. You watched from the shadows of your door as he walked away, down the street and into the night.

“Fucking men.” You hissed and slammed the door shut.

————

It was late in the morning when you eventually rolled out of bed. You decided you had a rough enough night that calling off was the best choice you could ever make. Coffee and a chocolate chip muffin screamed your name as you walked into your kitchen, immediately stuffing your mouth with the muffin and getting your coffee machine going.

Your phone buzzed multiple times from where you’d plugged it in on the counter. Last night you kept it out here rather than in your room so you had no other choice but to get out of bed if you wanted it.

You finally checked your phone after your coffee was finished and realized you had an annoying amount of messages, most of which were from Vessel:

II let me know what happened, you okay?

Y/N if you need to go to the doctor let me know I’ll bring you over there.

?? Did you die??

The latest text came through: Open your door I can hear you chewing.

You groaned and looked through the peephole of the door, Vessel was in fact standing outside and waiting for you to answer. Once you opened the door he stepped inside, assessing you from afar.

“You weren’t answering my texts and I got worried.” He said.

You shrugged. “I decided sleeping in was a good thing.” Vessel took the muffin you offered him and sat on one of the chairs in the kitchen.

“You okay?”

“Mmm I think so. Didn’t hit my head or-”

“I’m not talking about that. What else is bothering you?” Fuck, he was still really good at reading you. He leaned back and took small pieces of the muffin, putting them in his mouth as he waited for you to answer. “Did II say something to you?”

You shook your head. “No. I guess I’m just kinda fed up with this hatred between us and I still don’t understand what I did to him to cause it.” You sat in the chair across from him and rested your head in your hands. “After last night it’s becoming increasingly frustrating. He seemed to be worried about me but then still found a way to be a complete dick to me.”

Vessel studied you for a long while as you picked at the skin around your nails, waiting for his response. “I know he has… reasons for why he’s not fond of you, but I should not be the one speaking for him.”

“Well how am I supposed to get an answer if he avoids any kind of interaction with me? Vessel, please I am begging you to just tell me.” You sounded pathetic, like a child who isn’t able to convince their parents to let them do something.

Vessel tapped the table for a moment while he thought. “Have you considered why II disliking you is making you so angry?” He had a look on his face that he always did when he was beginning to get to the bottom of things.

“What are you getting at?”

A slight smirk flashed on his face before it turned back to his relaxed expression. “Since you’re off today, you should come to the pub later with all of us. I promise III and IV will be there on time so you can get shit faced with them and not have to worry about a certain someone.”

You raised a brow at the invitation. He had the look in his eyes that he was not about to let you decline the invite. You thought it over, a night out would be really fun especially with their group. But would it be worth the hellish hangover tomorrow?

Absolutely.

————

It wasn’t long before you were sitting squished between III and IV in the back of an Uber on your way to the pub they all frequent at. Vessel and Rae sat in the two seats in front of you and II got stuck in the passenger seat. Thankfully, nowhere near you and out of your line of sight. You felt a bit embarrassed the more you thought about what happened and it got worse the moment you saw him when everyone gathered at III’s place for a quick pregame.

You were thankful as soon as the car pulled up to the pub and you were able to get out of that stuffy thing. Taking one look at the pub though, and you knew you were going right back into another stuffy spot.

IV hooked his arm with yours and pulled you into the building with him, basically running to the bar to put an order in for the group. The bartender gave you (and only you) a free drink because he thought you were the hottest person in the room, which of course you fought him on but he insisted.

“Y/N snagged a free drink!” IV shouted to the group when we got to where they found an open table. We handed the drinks to everyone and did a quick cheer. “I think you should go back and snag his number.”

“Oh please, IV. He’s not my type and honestly, was probably just handing me a drink he made wrong.” You took a sip, the thought occurred that you didn’t even ask him what it was. Whatever he made was really fruity though, which you didn’t mind.

“Nah dude you definitely caught his eye.” IV put some emphasis by pointing to the outfit you put on. “You do know how to dress.”

You patted his shoulder. “Thank you, IV.” It was a kind compliment that you needed to hear, especially from someone who has some of the best style you’ve seen.

You were extremely thankful that III and IV came along because they kept you preoccupied with their stories from being on tour. Your mind was completely at ease and you genuinely forgot about the situation with II at some points.

The pub was full of people now, the smell of cigarettes and the sound of chatter overwhelming your mind. Most of the time you would shy away from being in such a public place with so many people crowded inside but tonight it felt right. With some alcohol in your system giving you a little boost of confidence, you found yourself chatting with strangers and being way more outgoing than you have ever been. You were sure it made things a little harder for the guys since they were now on the verge of needing to babysit you.

“Alright, I think that’s enough.” Vessel said as he pulled you away from a couple of guys who were eyeing you like a pack of lions finding their prey. “Enjoy your night.” He pushed you back to the group, all who were watching with a slight worry in their eyes.

You sat down at the table and propped your elbows on the surface. “You’re no fun, Ves. Those guys were really nice.”

“They were eyeing you like you were their dinner darling. I don’t think you would’ve enjoyed them for much longer.” III said as he patted your arm. You rolled your eyes and took a long sip of the drink in front of you. “Maybe slow down on these too.” His hand wrapped around the glass and pulled it out of your reach.

“Aw c'mon!” You reached for it but he just pulled it further away from you.

He motioned to everyone at the table. “We’re all on our second drink, Y/N. This is your sixth. Probably best if you slow down a little bit and not get too crazy.”

“I’ve had a shit week I need a distraction-”

“Getting embarrassingly drunk is a distraction?” II scoffed from the other end of the table.

Anger rushed your veins as you made eye contact with him. “Yes, it is actually.” Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the edge of the table as you stood up. “Now, I’m going to go be ‘embarrassingly drunk’ elsewhere if you all don’t like it.” You turned away from them and back into the crowd of people.

You danced for what felt like hours. Random people would join you for a song, singing at the top of their lungs with you as the music flowed through your body. This felt good. It was something else that controlled your mind, not work and definitely not the bullshit with II. Oh how you felt so free.

A pair of hands rested on your hips as you swished them back and forth. You turned and found yourself facing one of the men from before; Keegan? Kyle? Kendall? You couldn’t remember his name.

“We meet again, beautiful.” He says over the music. All you do is nod and continue dancing, not paying much attention to him since the song playing was a good one. “You really know how to move those hips doll. Care to show me what else you can do with them?”

Your brain felt foggy as it processed his words. “I’m just going to stick to dancing.” The words slurred off your tongue as you backed up out of his grip, only to be met with his fingers digging into the fabric of your skirt.

“You’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.” He gritted through his teeth, the feeling of his nails leaving marks on your skin now becoming unbearable.

“Let me go, you creep!” You pushed as hard as you could, not caring if it would send you falling to your ass. He didn’t budge. This man must’ve had a lot of weight on him to the point where he was impossible for you to move.

Your feet started dragging towards the doors of the pub and you tried your hardest to stop the movement but you couldn't. He was taking you home no matter what and a sinking feeling pulled at your stomach knowing that everything was really about to go to shit. The cool air met your red-hot face as he brought you outside. You were absolutely fucked.

The smell of a cigarette caught your attention and you glanced at where it came from, hoping to find a way out of this man’s grip. Your eyes landed on II as he leaned against the building while he smoked. This fucker better have some sort of human decency when it comes to you.

His bright blue eyes went wide when he noticed you, your feet dragging along the concrete of the sidewalk since the man gave you no chance to walk yourself.

“Hey!” He shouted, tossing the cigarette to the ground and jogging over. “Y/N…” He gave you one look over with worried eyes and then turned to the man. “I don’t know what you’re doing with her, but I’m going to need you to hand her to me. She’s drunk and doesn’t know better.”

“What are you, her boyfriend or something?” The man huffed.

He shook his head. “No, I’m just the only one out here who’s looking after her. Now just hand her to me and we can go about our lives.” His fingers dug even deeper into your hips, more than you thought was possible at this point and he began pulling you away as he laughed.

“I’m going to get on with my life and fuck her till she’s nothing.” He emphasized the point with a hard smack on your ass. You winced at the pain that ripped through you and knew that left a mark.

“You touch her like that again and you’re gonna lose a fucking hand.” Your eyes widened at those words, you’d expect to hear that from one of the other guys but II? That was a shock.

In a second you were shoved to the ground, scraping your knees and palms as you tried to break your fall a bit. “Fine. Looks like I’m kicking your ass and then getting on with my life.” You watched with tears blurring your vision as the man launched at II. It was an equal fight, but the crowd that drew because of it suddenly became too much and you cried for them to stop.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw familiar figures rushing to you. III knelt down and pulled you into his arms as Vessel and IV broke up the fight. You sobbed against III’s chest as the others calmed II down and left the guy with another mark on his face.

The crowd dispersed since the excitement had passed, leaving you a sobbing mess in III’s arms. “Y/N are you okay?” Vessel asked, his eyes running over you and making a quick assessment on your physical condition.

“She’s fucked up right now man, probably should get her home.” III says as he rubs small circles on your back. Vessel nodded and helped you get up from the ground, keeping a tight hold on your arms as you steadied yourself. You felt II’s eyes on you the whole time as he stood a few feet away with IV. He didn’t come out of the fight too bad, just a busted lip and a black eye that was making an appearance on his face.

“Why would you do that for me?” You sobbed. His body stiffened at your words and he seemed taken aback by what you said.

“He was going to hurt you, Y/N! Why would I just let that happen?”

“Because you hate me.” A flash of hurt crossed his eyes and you turned away as quickly as you could. You just wanted to get home and cry yourself to sleep. What started off as a fun night turned into a complete nightmare, and you wanted nothing more to do with it.

————

The sun was warm on your face as it beamed into your room. You opened your eyes and saw Rae as she opened the curtains to let in some light. She smiled at you when she noticed you were awake, then handed you a water bottle and some ibuprofen.

Last night she decided that Vessel and her should stay the night to make sure you were alright in the morning. She ended up sleeping in your bed while he took the couch, thankfully not batting an eye when you started to cry and she held you till you fell asleep.

Your head wasn’t yet to the point of extreme discomfort but you still took the water and the medicine just to get ahead of the pain and thirst you felt.

There was a light knock on your door, Rae went over and let Vessel in. He gave you a small wave as he embraced her and kissed her gently. “How are you feeling?” He sat at the edge of the bed and gave your hand a tight squeeze.

“Could be better.” You say. “But it could also be worse.” A smile pulled at his lips and he patted your leg.

“I knew you’d be alright, you always are.” He stood up and glanced over to Rae who watched the interaction with a smile on her face. “We’ve got to get home, but just wanted to make sure you were okay. Is there anything you need us to get you before we go?”

You chuckled at the offer. “No, I don’t need to be babied that much. Thank you guys for sticking around though.” You stood up and went to see them out, not wanting to be a jerk after they helped you last night. “I will see you later. Get home safe please.”

They left your apartment, letting you take a deep breath now that you were alone. Last night was a blur and you could only remember small bits and pieces of it. You felt disgusting. A shower was the only thing that could make you feel better and that’s what you did.

You let the water run until it was steaming hot. As you stared at your reflection in the mirror, all you could do was try not to cry while you peeled your clothes off. Bruises and scrapes littered your skin. A gasp left your body as you took in the dried blood and the fingermarks left as bruises around your hips. The man really bruised you up and you knew you weren’t going crazy when it felt like he was piercing your skin.

The other thing that made you cringe was the red outline of a handprint where he’d smacked your ass last night. You sighed at the sight of your battered body and wiped the tear threatening to fall away.

You sat on the floor of your shower and just let the water wash away the misery of last night. The tears mixed in with the water as you recalled as much as you could; the man dragging you away while no one even tried to stop him, you couldn’t remember if you asked for help or not. It was blurry in your mind, until the thought of the fight that went down. That remained so vividly in your memory that you could picture it all happening, as if you were stuck there in time watching it over and over again.

It was still such a shock that II would ever stand up and fight for you the way that he did. He walked away with minor injuries but it really could’ve ended up worse for him. And he didn’t seem to care or really even think about the possibility.

You remember what you had said and the pain that flashed in his eyes at your words. An ache began to build in your chest as you really thought about it. Now he must think you’re the worst person in the world because you couldn’t even say ‘thank you’ for what he did.

By the time your skin was on the verge of melting off, you decided to get out of the shower and sulk on your couch instead. You found leftover pizza in your fridge to eat and you chose to do so with your favorite movie on.

You didn’t realize how much time had gone by until your apartment was pitch black as another movie ended and the credits began to roll. You glanced at the time on your phone and swore to yourself. A six hour movie marathon? You felt like punching yourself for it but based on how relaxed you felt, it suddenly wasn’t such a bad thing.

As you sat up to find another movie to play, there was a light knock on your door. You smiled a bit and went to open the door, expecting to see III or IV, maybe even the both of them together. But as the door opened you were met with the one person you were not expecting.

II stood there with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand and a bag of takeout in the other. There was a slight gleam of plead in his eyes as you took in the sight of him. His eye was now fully bruised and his lip was a bit swollen still. His knuckles were scabbed and bruised from when he’d hit the man several times. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night and had an even harder time getting through the day.

“I um… I wasn’t going to come by so soon but I couldn’t wait any longer to check on you.” His voice wavering with a nervous tone that made you raise a brow. You gave him one last look over and then stepped to the side, letting him walk into your apartment. He put the bouquet and bag of food down on the counter in your kitchen, looking around at the decor of the place.

You stood back and watched him as he fidgeted with his hands. “Vessel said these flowers were some of your favorites.” You curiously looked at the bouquet and a small feeling of gratitude flowed through you as you stared at the colorful arrangement. “I also remembered that you really like Thai food so I got you some.” You couldn’t resist the smile that made its way to your face as the delicious smells wafted to you.

“Thank you.” It was genuine. He nodded a response and looked around again. “I’m sorry about your eye and lip.”

His brows raised. “Sorry? Why?”

“You got into a fight because I was being st-”

“Don’t you dare think about finishing that sentence, Y/N.” His voice was stern. “I would get into a fight with that guy over and over again if it meant that he wouldn’t lay a finger on you like he was, and planned on doing.” He stepped a little closer to you but still kept a good distance between you. “I keep thinking about what could’ve happened if I wasn’t standing out there. It’d kill me if I knew that I could’ve helped and gotten you away before anything bad happened.”

“And you did, you were there and made sure I didn’t get hurt.” Your heart pounded at the thought that raced through your mind. You didn’t even think about how lucky you were to have this guy drag you from the pub the same time II was outside for a smoke. “I didn’t say thank you last night and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did say.”

“What? That you think I hate you?” He questioned, that same look of pain gleamed in his eyes but this time it wasn’t just a small flash of it, he didn’t even try to hide it.

“You think I don’t? After all these years of knowing each other you’ve constantly made it seem like you do. You’ve always avoided me, always made it seem like I was the worst person in the goddamn room. I haven’t done anything to you II. And with the shit that went down these last two days it’s pissing me off even more.”

“Why?” The tone in his voice was so soft, different from what you were used to that it almost knocked you off kilter.

“You showed me that you're capable of caring for me but I don’t think I can accept it. Not after all these years of conflict between the two of us.” There. Saying that took a huge weight off your shoulders and let you breathe normally for the first time in two days.

You stood in silence as you observed each other. He shifted his weight a few times and ran a hand through his hair as he sighed deeply. Something was on his mind, you could tell by the look on his face.

“Say what you want to say or leave, II. I cannot keep going on about this… not now at least.” You sighed and leaned against the counter, waiting for him to say something. Time passed by and you grew impatient with him. “Get out II.”

“Y/N-”

“If you can’t fucking figure out what to say to me then stop trying and leave.” You felt the tightness in your throat as tears burned your eyes. What exactly was it that you wanted him to say? Did you want him to confirm that he hates you? No, it was just the truth that you were waiting for.

He sighed and made his way to the door, with sad eyes he said, “I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way for so long.” With that, he left and the door shutting behind him might have been the loudest thing you’ve heard in a long time.

You stood and stared at the door as tears silently fell down your face. What was it about you that made it so difficult for him to speak his mind? You could tell he wanted to and wanted to badly, but something held him back. And you weren’t sure what it was.

Your eyes moved to the bouquet that rested on the countertop and caught a glimpse of a small card tucked within the stems of the flowers. You leaned over and picked it up, noting your name written on the front and flipping it over to read what was written:

I deeply apologize for all I’ve done these last few years which lead you to believe that I hated you. I don’t hate you Y/N, I never have. I was scared of everything you made me feel and hid those emotions underneath a mask of ignorance.

There was more on the card but you stopped there and ran to the door. You fumbled with the locks and swung it open so fast you didn’t notice II still standing at the door until you almost ran into him.

His eyes were wide with shock as he glanced at the card in your hand and back at you. “You read-” You crashed your lips against his, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you. He met your lust and immediately placed his hands behind your thighs and lifted you up against him, waiting for you to wrap your legs around his waist before walking back into your apartment and slamming the door behind you.

You felt the coolness of the countertop against the bare skin of your thighs as he sat you down on it. He nipped at your bottom lip and when you gasped, he slipped his tongue in. It was soft and tasted like heaven in your mouth, all you wanted was him in every way you could have him right now. Your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest as you kissed, this was the answer you were searching for this entire time.

The feeling of his arousement brushed against your thigh and you didn’t know whether you should be shocked or impressed by the size pressing against his jeans.

He pulled away for a moment, catching a breath as he stared down at you with a feral look in his eyes. “Are you sure you want this?” You pressed the palm of your hand against his flushed cheek, pushing it forward until your fingers laced around his hair and you closed the space between you once more.

“More than anything in the fucking world.” This time the kiss was more passionate and filled you with the warmth you’ve subconsciously been needing from him. His hands trailed under your shirt and his fingertips were warm as he squeezed your breast, a small moan rumbled from your lips. His hand brushed the peaked bud and the cold metal that was pierced through it.

“I’ve always found these so hot.” He whispered in your ear as his fingers toyed with the balls on the piercing. Your back arched at the touch and you whimpered for more. “Are you going to be a good girl and tell me what you want, Y/N?”

You nodded. “II please, I need you to touch me.” It was a desperate whine that came out of you instead of what you strived to sound like.

He chuckled at your response and began to remove your shirt. “Anything for you, love.” His eyes gleamed at the sight of your breasts, taking in the silver bars through both your nipples.

You reached to grab the edge of his shirt and he swatted you away. “It’s unfair if I can’t stare at you shirtless too.”

“I don’t care if it’s not fair.” He hooked his fingers under the waistband of the boxer shorts you wore. “You’re not touching me until you’ve orgasmed.” A red hot blushed creeped across your skin as he slowly pulled the boxers off, revealing your body fully to him. “Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.”

He leaned down and connected your lips again, then moved down and placed kisses along your jawline. You felt the light touch of his hand as it traced the skin of your inner thigh, the sensation adding to the ache already building between your legs.

You whined his name after he brushed a finger against your clit. “Fuck love, all this for me?” He motioned downwards and you caught a glimpse of how wet he had made you.

“I blame the fact that I haven’t had sex in a while.”

He chuckled. “Right, that’s what it is.” He stepped back from where he’d been standing and took a long look at your body as if he were mapping it in his mind. “Spread your legs more my love.” You obliged, his hands wrapped under your thighs again but this time he pulled you right to the edge of the countertop. “I don't want you to try and contain any noise you’re about to make. I want to hear you screaming my name.” You nodded and held your breath before the wave of pleasure hit you as he ran his tongue through your arousal.

You searched frantically for something to hold onto as II went down on you. He sucked on your clit as he slipped a finger into you, curling it while he sucked harder. Your hand flew to his hair and you gripped hard, pulling each time he curled his finger in you. Despite his rule about not touching him, it seems you’ve discovered a loophole; II likes his hair pulled.

He added a second finger which made your back arch off the counter as your orgasm drew near. You were moaning louder than you ever had and his name slipping off your tongue sounded filthy. Your moans only got louder as the tightness in your stomach became more intense. The pace he was fingering you picked up as he flicked your clit with his tongue as fast as he could manage.

Stars exploded in your eyes as the wave of pleasure that hit you was unimaginable. II held you down with his free hand as he kept the stimulation on your clit going, sending you into what felt like a free fall through heaven.

You breathed heavily as II stepped away from you, a sheen from your arousal covered the lower half of his face. He let you compose yourself a bit and slowly pulled his shirt off, teasing you with the sight of his beautiful torso. His hair was ragged from how hard you had been pulling but it made him look incredibly sexy, especially now as he unbuckled his belt and walked back over to you, motioning for you to give him your hands. You once again listened to him and watched with curiosity as he wrapped the belt around your wrists and tightened it.

“Not too tight is it?” He asked. You shook your head as you stared at your bound hands. “Good.”

“Thought you said I could touch you after I orgasmed.” You said and motioned to your hands.

A smirk was plastered on his face as he stripped his jeans off. “I changed my mind.” Your attention turned to his cock that was straining against the fabric of his briefs. “Now, you get the choice.” He teased the edge of his briefs, getting you to keep your eyes fixated there. “Either I fuck you here on this counter, or I take you into your bedroom. What do you want me to do, love?”

You thought for a moment. Of course you’ve been fucked in both places a few times and though the countertop was a fun spot… it hurt your back after a while. The bed always did its job but you didn’t want to do only that… you wanted to try something new.

“Can the wall be an option?” Excitement flashed in his eyes and he grinned.

“If you want it to be, it can.” You nodded, giving him the permission he needed to fully discard his briefs and letting you see the full size of him. He smirked at the expression on your face and picked you up, letting you wrap your legs around him as he gave you a quick peck on the lips.

Your back hit the wall and his lips were immediately crashing into yours once more, filling your need for his taste again. He placed his hands on your hips, gently so he didn’t leave a mark, and moved the tip of his cock closer to your entrance. You gasped at the feeling of him sliding it through the slickness before he gripped a little tighter and pushed into you. You both gasped at the connection between your bodies, a feeling you’d both desperately seemed to chase but never quite understood what you were after.

“Fuck Y/N.” He groaned as he pulled out a bit before thrusting back in. “If I’d known you’d feel this good I would’ve admitted my feelings sooner.”

“I wish you did.” You whispered. II gently kissed your neck where your pulse was pounding out of it.

“Alright,” he said as he moved one hand to hold your bound hands up and over your head, while his free arm wrapped around your ass. His thrusts were picking up in pace a little bit as he found a way that worked in this position. “Now you’re going to be my good girl and take it, and just so you know, I enjoyed every bit of you screaming my name.” You nodded again as his thrusts picked up in speed and he was slamming into you.

You thought the noises coming from your mouth earlier were filthy, this was ten times worse. Every thrust hit you where it mattered most and from the orgasm earlier, you were quickly coming undone again.

“Kiss me.” You breathed as the knot built and built in your stomach. II obliged and slipped his tongue into your mouth. The feeling of his lips against yours and his tongue dancing in your mouth brought you to the edge, but this time it wasn’t as intense as the first and you were able to keep yourself as composed as possible.

Your arms pushed against II’s hand that kept them pressed against the wall. “Please let me touch you.” It was a pathetic sounding plea as you watched his stunning blue eyes dance with amusement.

“Just this once.” He says, undoing the belt and letting your hands free. They roamed the canvas of his skin, feeling every inch of muscle that he had and left marks with your nails each time he pounded into you.

His thrusts began to get sloppy as he neared his release. You pulled at his hair a little bit and nipped at his earlobes, grinning at the sound of his moans as you kissed around his pulse.

“Oh fuck, Y/N!” He cried out and you felt his release fill you up. His pace slowed down as he came down from his orgasm, his face buried against the crook of your neck as you held onto him. He kept himself inside of you as you held onto each other tightly, as if the second you let go the other may disappear.

After a while he lifted you from his cock and you hissed at the loss of it. He set you down on the floor and held you as you steadied yourself on your feet. You stared at each other for another moment before he spoke.

“I think I should run us a bath, we eat the cold Thai food, and then get some sleep. How does that sound to you?” He asked as he brushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You kissed the tip of his nose. “That sounds absolutely perfect.” And you did just that, minus a few additional things that came from the new addiction you had for one another.

It was a perfect night to cap off two shitty nights, especially now that you were here falling asleep in II’s arms with a smile that could never be wiped off your face.

#sleep token ii #sleep token #enemies to lovers #oneshot

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extra-somethin-somethin · 3 months

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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

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genshin-projection · 15 days

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i don't think i can be normal about Sunday guys

#hsr #hsr spoilers #i haven't even FINISHED it yet but his ideology is so warped. i cheered when i thought Gallagher had killed him for real #im not upset he's alive though i do think it's a bit of a cop-out . but. ouhghhhh something is so wrong with his mind (/positive.)#it's successfully looped back around to loving his character though. when there's a fucked up guy in a story i either #1) get very hostile towards them because i feel like they aren't being portrayed enough like the villain i see them as #or 2) become Obsessed with them forever because they are just so fucking . Wrong. like .#ayato genshin impact falls into both of these categories simultaneously like a fucking electron.#but sunday. he has wholeheartedly landed himself in the second category. i need to dissect him and maybe like. idk. give him a cake (?)??#Come Experience The Joys. Idiot. and also maybe listen to your sister.#honestly i REALLY like robin i think she's super super great and has good ideas #i really really love the like. the.#the contrast between his like. his horrible pessimistic nihilistic ideology. and robins optimistic harmonious one.#like robin seems to kind of... not be able to understand that sometimes nihilism is the only way to survive and that it's a balance #survival is good but hard to break out of... you need to survive enough to be ABLE to live. she seems to idealize living in opposition to it #whereas sunday is like. there are people who can ONLY survive. sometimes living isn't an option because the world is cruel and we don't all #get that choice. sometimes surviving is all you can do. why not embrace that? why not build a place where people can postpone death?#if fulfillment isn't possible... then why not accept placation even if it is a poison to the soul? surely joyful prison is better than death #if all that awaits in the world is suffering then why not let the bird live the rest of its days in its cage... even if it is unfulfilling?#HE'S SO . RHGHHGHGHFHGHHVGJF #he feels like he's on the brink of a misanthropic suicidal breakdown to me. someone fucking help him (but not really)#(i don't think anyone should be subjected to his brain. but i would like to see him get better. actually i think robin is trying for sure)#anyway. very curious how this quest is going to end. i want to rip him limb from limb and then stitch him back together again after #my posts

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pillowenvelopchair · 7 months

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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)

Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles

Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff

Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)

She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…

Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.

It's basically:

Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.

So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.

“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22

For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)

Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.

Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.

But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.

Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)

I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.

Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).

Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.

Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)

Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.

"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23

(I just really love this part- I can't help it)

I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.

In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)

Rogier’s overthinking

Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past

"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17

It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.

Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.

I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.

He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).

ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:

1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does

Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)

It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.

Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)

Chapter 17 analysis

Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.

I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.

"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17

This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.

He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.

I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it

“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.

“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?

Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability

A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:

Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.

He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.

Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.

But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.

He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.

He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.

Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).

It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.

It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)

Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.

Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.

But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.

"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5

“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5

It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.

So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)

In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems

(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)

[EDIT]: idk what to call this section but he seems to seek out some form of approval. Lets see how that ties in with his grief!

"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5

"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12

Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.

Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.

He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?

"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19

Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.

I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.

And it’s quite hypocritical isnt it? That Rogier wants to change the Order to be able to sort of… revive Lorens from Death. To go back to the old times that they both had had.

This guy refuses to grieve and is searching (desperately) for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy

This entire post's summary is just me going:

Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)

Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)

(bonus boggart because I love him)

#not gonna talk about d yet #I don't want to assume too much about him just yet #but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated #like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist #mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it #sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained #or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room #hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol #theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again #some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw #swrd #rogier #magdalene #envelope rambles #i wrote this in like. two sittings #what is happenign to me #I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME #the mortifying ordeal of posting #AAAA #uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN #[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3

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