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jerzwriter · 3 years

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Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 25 Turning Tables

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter: Ethan and Casey head to a medical conference together over Valentine’s Day, some wine and conversation takes Casey out of her comfort zone; Casey asks Vivian for a favor, and Vivian tells Tobias to keep his eyes open; Casey and Tobias happily reunite and Ethan makes plans with a… friend?

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Drinking, language, implied sensuality

A/N: Hey everyone. I’m too tired for notes this week - oh except one, I haven't had time so my editing may not be the very best - please forgive me. :) I hope you enjoy the chapter.

A/N 2: Leaving the standard reminder from before break: This is a love triangle – that means Casey loves more than one person in this story. I’ve said it a million times, but here is a million and one, she won’t make her choice until the final chapter. So no, it’s not a foregone conclusion. And while Team Ethan, and Team Tobias, and Team God I’m Torn exist out there, there is only one that matters to me and that is Team Casey.

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. 😊

“I still can’t believe I have to go to this shit,” she said throwing her final piece of clothing into her suitcase sprawled across their bed. “And I don’t care what anyone says, there is simply no way that he didn’t do this on purpose. I knew things were going entirely too easy with him accepting us.”

Tobias didn't fully disagree, but he wanted to give Ethan the benefit of the doubt. Plus, Casey was going no matter what, so he felt it best to try to diffuse the situation.

“It’ll only be a few days, baby, you’ll be back before you know it. And Valentine's Day, it's just a day, we’re doctors, this won’t be the first time we have to celebrate a little early or late, it’s no big deal.”

“It’s a big deal that I have to go at all, T! There is no reason why it had to be me, he could have taken Harper, or even you. Sure, that would still be awkward, but not this awkward!”

“I’m going to play devil’s advocate again. Is it really Ethan’s fault? You're presenting on solving Naveen’s case, obviously, you two worked on it, so ...”

“You’re right, but they gave him four topics to choose from, and he picked this one. The other three were just as compelling.”

“That’s arguable, but didn’t he make the final selection with Naveen?”

Casey shrugged her shoulders. “Or so he says. But given the situation, I can’t see Naveen wanting Ethan and me to go to this together for a myriad of reasons. So, forgive me, I know you're trying to be freaking Peter Pollyanna over there, but I find this suspect as fuck.”

She was struggling with closing her suitcase, so Tobias walked over to help her. He turned and placed his hands on her shoulders, then pulled her into an embrace leaving a soft kiss atop her head. It worked wonders in making Casey calm down and feel a little better. She exhaled deeply as she clung to him.

“I’m sorry for being so emotional over this. I’m going to miss you.”

“Hey, no apologies are necessary. Like you said, if it were me, I’d feel awkward, but with you? I know this is going to be tough, baby, but I have faith in you.”

Casey's phone vibrated in her pocket, she looked down and frowned, “It’s Ethan. He said the car just got to his place, they’ll be heading over momentarily.”

“Then why don’t we head down?”

He grabbed her suitcase in one hand and extended the other to her. Begrudgingly, Casey took it and followed him downstairs.

They stood in front of their building waiting for the car to arrive, it was extremely warm for a February day and decided to enjoy the fresh air.

“So, you know I’m always a text or a call away. Let me know when you land, and when you’re settled in.”

“I will, I hope they’ll be here soon. I just want to get this over with at this point.”

“Trafic isn’t exactly light right now, but I'm sure it won't be long. Why don’t I give you your good-bye kiss now, that should cheer you up,” there was an impish gleam in his eyes, one she found irresistible.

“Your kisses always do.”

He dropped his arms around her waist pulling her into him. Her hands on his arms rose to the back of his neck as the tender kiss became more passionate. He pulled away and stared into her eyes.

“I’m going to miss you, sweetheart.”

They were so enraptured in each other, they didn’t notice the black Town Car that had pulled behind them waiting to whisk Casey to the airport.

Casey turned and looked at it, a look of disgust crossed over her face. Tobias became slightly agitated, knowing it would have been better if Ethan didn’t just witness that display; but Casey was so annoyed, she could not have cared less.

The chauffeur walked around the car to place her bag in the trunk and Casey let go of Tobias’s hand to slide into the backseat. He walked over and looked inside to greet Ethan.

“Safe trip guys, let me know when you’re there safely.”

“I’m sure Casey will give you the play by play,” Ethan replied without a hint of emotion in his voice.

"I will," she smiled at Tobias. "I'll call you."

"Please do," he said tapping the car as they pulled away.

Tobias watched until the car was out of sight, fighting the sense of apprehension that wasn’t in the forefront of his mind until he saw the car pull away. He trusted Casey, fully, but this was a vivid reminder that this situation was going to take some time for all to get used to.

____________________

Outside of a brief greeting, Casey and Ethan remained quiet in the backseat of the car, the muted sound of the driver’s radio providing the only noise. Ethan finally tried to break the tension.

“There are apparently storms near the airport in Denver, so we may experience delays”

“Hmmm, well, you have to wonder what brain trust decided February was the right time to have a conference in Aspen.”

“Well, it makes sense when you realize three of the five doctors on the planning committee are avid skiers, and there will be sufficient downtime for them to hit the slopes.”

“Yeah, well, it’s quite selfish if you ask me.”

When they arrived at the airport, Ethan tipped the driver as he took the luggage from the trunk. He went to grab Casey’s and she stopped him.

“It’s OK, Ethan, I’ve got it. You have your hands full with your own.”

Feeling it would be best to comply, he handed it to her.

Fortunately, the plane was on time, and the boarding process went smoothly. There were only ten seats in first class and just four other passengers were seated. Casey took her window seat and Ethan gave her a small smile.

“Well, I’ll see you in Denver,” he said walking away.

“Wait, where will you be until then?”

“In my seat. Two rows back. I thought you’d probably prefer it that way.”

Casey sat up and turned toward him as he walked away, “Uh, um…” she got the attention of a flight attendant who was passing by and motioned to the seat next to her. “Do you know if this seat is taken?”

“No, it isn’t. There are only six passengers in first on this flight, and it appears that you are all here.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

She stood and walked back to Ethan who already had his earbuds in and eyes closed. Casey reached over and tapped his shoulder.

“Yes,” he said removing one earbud.

“Ethan, this is ridiculous. I verified that the remaining seats in first are empty on this flight, so why don't you come and sit by me.”

He tried to suppress the smile that came to his face, but Casey noticed the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly.

“Well, if that’s the case, why don’t you come and sit here with me?”

“Because I’m not giving up my window seat,” she smirked, “I’ll be up there if you want to join me.”

She turned to walk away, Ethan was on her heels.

Casey knew it was the right thing to do, but the moment he sat down she began to rethink her decision. She hadn’t spent more than fifteen minutes alone in his presence since that horrible night when he told her to leave. Now they were seated next to each other for a five-hour flight, she was restless, something Ethan picked up on right away.

“You don’t have to make small talk, you know. So, take that worry off your plate.”

Casey turned her head from the window to Ethan. “I’ve never had a five-hour flight with a stranger when I didn’t speak to them, I’m certainly not going to do that with you.”

“Well,” he laughed nervously, “It wouldn’t be our first awkward flight. As I recall you didn’t say much, if anything, to me on the flight back from Miami.”

“That was three hours, Ethan. I said five.”

“Noted.”

What neither knew is that they were both thinking of the last flight they had taken together, the flight home from Inez’s wedding. That was just a day after Ethan finally confessed his love to her. The day they were no longer hiding their feelings, when they nuzzled and held hands the entire length of the flight home and here, just shy of a year later, they didn’t even know how to act in each other's company.

Ethan was forlorn, what he would not give to have her head on his shoulder, laugh with her about getting a free romantic getaway, joke about Harper and Tobias… Tobias… his thoughts stopped as his mind unwillingly raced back to watching him tenderly kiss Casey goodbye less than an hour before. He could see Casey's gaze, the one that used to belong to him, as she looked at his tentative friend and colleague. The knowledge that this was his own fault that they were here only made him feel worse. He tried to divert his mind. Maybe sitting next to her wasn’t the right move after all, but how could he have possibly said no when all he has wanted is to be at her side.

Casey also recalled how she gazed out the window on that flight home. The sky was so magical that day, but not as magical as the sight of his hand wrapped in hers. After years, finally embracing what he felt for her and not caring who saw it. Being on a plane that day was kind of metaphoric because she was certainly on top of the world. Now, she was with Tobias, and she had no regrets, she loved him and she was happy to be where she was. But it was impossible to be on a flight, the first one since Hawaii no less, with the man she believed she was destined to spend the rest of her life with by her side once again. She was trying to do the right thing, he was still her colleague, she truly hoped they would be friends again one day, but to say this wasn’t surreal would simply be denying reality.

“You know, I think I’m going to try to get a little sleep on the way,” she said softly.

“By all my means.”

She wasn’t tired, but it was the best solution and, luckily, her body complied. She dozed off quickly and slept for an hour. When she woke, she kept her eyes closed for one more, because she couldn’t think of a word to say and awkward silence was less than appealing.

Once he was certain that she was asleep, Ethan turned to look at her. He knew he shouldn’t stare, but it was impossible not to. He knew it would not be easy, but he didn’t fully expect his emotions to overtake him this much. He never thought she would be asleep at his side, in any way, ever again and now that she was… now that she looked as peaceful and beautiful as she used to when she filled the space next to him in his bed. It took all of his strength not to hold her and beg her for another chance. His eyes filled and he strongly considered going back to his original seat, but what would she think of that when she woke? She had done the right thing. He was going to have to suck it up and make do. What the hell was he thinking when he allowed this trip?

When Casey finally opened her eyes they spent the rest of the flight reading, listening to podcasts, and discussing the presentation they’d be making during the conference. Casey decided to try to act as kind, but professionally, as possible for the remainder of the trip. Ethan resigned to offer whatever it was she offered; he would accept anything.

____________________

“You know, it’s not that I’m glad this happened. It sucks for Casey, it sucks for you, but I’m not going to lie, I’m enjoying the bro time,” Bryce said watching Tobias stare into space at Donahue's.

“Bryce, you make it sound like I’m locked in a cell since I’m with Casey. I tell you we can hang anytime.”

“Yeah, but the aesthetic is different.”

Tobias shook his head, “Never change, Bryce, never change.”

“So, how are you doing with this anyway. I know I wouldn’t be all jazzed if I were in your shoes.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t be all jazzed being away from Casey for three days no matter what. I know it sounds pathetic, I know… the names I would have called a guy saying what I’m saying right now in the past,” he shuddered, “sometimes I don’t know who I am. But I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy to be away from her.”

“It’s not the three days, T, it’s the 6’10” doctor she’s with during those three days.”

“He’s not 6’10”, Bryce.”

“I’m exaggerating.”

“It is what it is. He’s still the director of the team, sometimes, shit like this is going to happen.”

“It’s suspect. I don’t like it. Casey doesn’t either.”

“I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I trust her, completely. I’m not worried.”

“You're full of shit.”

“Tread lightly, my friend. What part is full of shit?”

“The not worried one.”

“OK, you’re safe. I’m not happy, Bryce, don’t get me wrong, but if I were worried, it would mean I didn’t trust her and I do. But, since I’m out to get my mind off the fact that my girl is away for three days, could we maybe talk about something other than the fact that my girl is away for three days?”

“I suppose we could. Like we could talk about how devastatingly sexy my abs are since I started my new workout.”

“Or fuck it, we can just discuss Casey being away all night. I’m suddenly cool with that.”

____________________

The resort was a snow-covered, rustic paradise. A magnificent lodge with every amenity known to man, surrounded by the majestic Rockies, it was a scene out of a fairy tale. The minute they entered the lobby, Casey wished she were there with Tobias. She knew it was borderline lame, she wasn’t going to be gone long, but she missed him. Ethan’s mind went to another time, the night the two of them had spent together at another ski lodge. That was such a special night, he always felt it was a pivotal point in their relationship. And he was doing all in his power to put it to the back of his mind on this trip.

“Hello, reservation for Dr. Casey MacTavish.”

“Dr. MacTavish, yes, welcome. We have you in room 432. You have a balcony and a magnificent view of the mountains, we think you’ll be satisfied.”

“I’m certain I will, thank you.”

“And Dr. Ethan Ramsey, I’m with the same conference.”

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey, you are in room, well, suite 434. You’re right next to Dr. MacTavish here.”

Just great! Casey thought as she plastered on a fake smile.

“Suite? Why on earth…”

“They have you listed as a VIP guest. The suite has full amenities, a lovely hot tub, beautiful appointments, but no balcony and, truly, the view is better from Dr. MacTavish's room. Perhaps you two should partner up and you’ll have the best of both worlds.”

“Hmmm, I think we’ll both manage just fine with what we have,” Casey smiled as she lifted her bag to head toward the elevator.

“It’s amazing,” she said to Ethan as they made their way to their rooms. “I solved the damn case, that’s why I’m here, right? Yet you’re the VIP.”

“If you want to switch…”

“Oh, I’m half-joking, Ethan. I don’t care one fig about the suite. I don’t care about the balcony or any of the appointments, I’m here to do a job and get back home. I just wonder how they came to their conclusion. Sometimes the misogyny in the medical world still astounds me.”

“You’re not wrong, and I am not pleased with it either. I will make mention…”

“No, don’t worry about it, in the scheme of things, there are bigger fish to fry. Well, this is us,” she said pointing to their doors, right next to each other.”

“I suppose it is. Are you going to go down to the lounge for the cocktail reception?”

“No, it’s been a long day. I’m going to order room service and call it an early night.”

“OK. What are you doing before the presentation tomorrow?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Well, I was thinking we could take in the seminar about the upcoming changes in funding, they will have a direct impact on our team… would you like to come along with me?”

“Sure. I’ll go. What time?”

“Ten.”

“OK, I’ll see you there.”

“And we may as well grab breakfast together beforehand…”

He knew he was beginning to sound desperate, and he wanted to take his words back before they finished coming out of his mouth, but it was too late. Now to recant before she could…

“No, Ethan. I think I’ll just meet you there.”

… reject him.

“Sure,” he smiled, “that would probably be for the best.”

“Good night.”

She turned and walked into her room, and he stood in front of her door for a few moments before he walked into his. The suite looked like something off the pages of Architectural Digest, expensive, beautiful, enormous, and it reminded him of just how alone he was. He took a warm shower he returned to his oversized bed. For all the high-end features of the resort offered, the walls were quite thin. At least he had an end unit, this way, all he ha could hear was Casey… laughing on the phone… talking to Tobias… he wouldn’t have heard the words if he put on his headphones, or turned on the television, or if he wasn’t listening so intently… but he was only doing one of those three things.

… and the view is simply breathtaking, though I don’t know what good a balcony is when it’s a real feel of negative 3… oh, I don’t know if even that would help warm me up out there, T… we could, maybe it would be better if we came in the spring though, but we have so many other places we want to go… yeah, I’m tired, but I’ll call you in the morning… I miss you… I love you, too. Good night, baby.”

She really did love him. At first, he had convinced himself it was a rebound, a comfortable place to land. When he saw them kissing in the snow, he couldn't deny how in love they appeared to be, it looked like something out of a movie, but movies were fake, right? Movies weren’t real. So this could all be an illusion. Tobias was clearly in love with her, and why not, it was Casey, he’d be a fool not to be but her… Ethan told himself she was not really in love with him. But within the past 24-hours, his illusions seemed to be crashing around him. She was really in love with Tobias, or was she? He wasn’t giving up just yet, and by the end of this trip, he’d know.

“Hello? I thought you were going to bed? … Awww, I’m sorry. … What if we stay on the phone with each other until we’re asleep? … What are you laughing at me for, you’re the one who called me back all ‘I can’t sleep without you’… (hysterical laughter)… no, dear we can save the phone sex for tomorrow… as much as I miss you, I am exhausted from the trip. For you, I suggest the sleepy time tea we bought at that fair. I love you too, baby, so much… good night.”

Ethan closed his eyes. Casey had no idea he could hear her, and he knew that. There was no reason why she shouldn’t be speaking to Tobias that way. But Ethan wanted his answer by the end of this trip, and though he still hung on to hope, it was becoming more apparent that he already knew his answer. He berated himself, why didn’t he just pick one of the other three topics to cover? Being here with Casey began to feel like a terrible idea.

____________________

“So, what did you think of the presentation,” Ethan asked.

“What did I think?” she said, exasperated, “What did I think? I think I so regret attending this before our presentation because I am so incredibly pissed off I don’t know how I will be able to think.”

“Well, I think you’ll just have to put it out of your mind until….

“The audacity of that son of a bitch!”

“You’re not hearing me are…”

“How the hell does he turn it around like that? HOW? To make it seem like a good thing? And at least half of the assholes in that room look like they bought it too!”

“Casey, keep your voice…”

“I honestly don’t care who hears me, Ethan. I’d take that damn podium right now and counter him on every point and I’ll use the damn language I learned growing up in Philly if I have to! Is this what medicine is now? Even to doctors who took the goddamn Hippocratic oath! Just change the name to the hypocritical oath at this point.”

“I don’t disagree, but…”

“Our program, our program would become limited to strictly patients with extreme wealth because insurance wouldn’t even cover most of our services. And let’s not even talk about our free clinic. I am so angry!”

“That’s apparent…”

“Did you get the names of what Representatives are co-sponsoring the legislation?”

“You didn’t get the names, I’m shocked.”

“I was too busy trying to calm myself so my damn blood pressure didn't go through the roof. Don’t worry, I’ll look it up tonight.”

“I know he said Bradburry from South Carolina and Kenner from Virginia, I didn’t get the rest, but we can look it up easy enough.”

“Kenner? Kenner? I met him at Vivian’s party…”

“What are you…”

“I’m going to call her, excuse me…”

“Casey, I think it can wait, why don’t you just think…”

Casey already had the phone to her ear.

“Vivian? Hi, it’s Casey… I’m good, how are you? … Vivian, I’d like to ask a favor, do you think…” she raised her finger to Ethan and walked away for privacy.

He watched her as she stepped away. That was the tenacity that he admired in her, he just wished she’d take it down a notch at the conference. Then he remembered how he heckled speakers, punched Declan Nash… maybe he was just getting soft in his old age, and thank God there were still firecrackers like Casey in this world. He smiled and walked away, knowing she had a handle on it.

Ten minutes later she walked back over to Ethan who was seated by the grand fireplace in the lobby, he had two cups of coffee on the table before him.

“So, are you prepared to impress me?”

“Damn straight I am. I have a meeting with him on March 3rd.”

Ethan spit his coffee out. “You what? You’ve been gone ten minutes!”

“Fifteen actually, Vivian has his Chief of Staff’s number on speed dial, and he owes her a favor, apparently.”

“The Chief of Staff does?”

“No, Kenner does.”

“Jesus, you have made quite the impression on Vivian, haven’t you.”

Casey waved her hand around, “She kind of adores me. She said she’d trade Tobias in and adopt me,” she laughed, “but I don’t believe that for a moment. She is beyond crazy about her son, even if she pretends she isn’t for comedic effect.”

“You’re right on that. She is crazy about him, and she’s not alone, is she?” he put his coffee to his lips and watched carefully for Casey’s reaction.

She looked up from the papers scattered on her lap, a bit stunned by the forwardness.

“No, she’s not alone,” she answered curtly. She wouldn’t have done that normally, but she decided she wasn't playing games. He wants to be forward and ask? Then he was getting an unfiltered answer.

And Ethan received her message loud and clear.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Yes, you did. And I answered. You want to know, now you know. Look, I’m going back to my room. It’s an hour to the presentation and I think I need to calm down, and I think I need to review my notes. Making an ass out of myself wouldn’t be in our best interests.”

“No, I suppose not.”

______________________

“Hey, I’ve got to take this call, I’ll be back in a few…” Tobias walked into an alcove for some privacy.

“Hi, Mom, what’s up?”

“Hello, dear. How are you holding up on your own?

He chuckled, “Mom, I held up on my own my entire adult life. I’ve been with Casey a month and a half now, I think I can manage to get through three days without her.”

“Hmmm… stupid man. Anyway, I just got off the phone with my beautiful daughter-in-law, and…”

“Mom, we’re not married…”

“…technicality. A technicality that we will remedy soon enough, I might add. Now I need to ask, why on earth is she in Colorado with Ethan?”

“For a business conference, Ma. That’s all it is.”

He heard her exhale on the other end of the line, but she didn’t say a word. A silent Vivian. Something that always made Tobias nervous.

“Mother. It is for a business conference. She will be back in a few days. It’s all good.”

“I remember your competitions dear. I remember how ruthless you both became. I also know she was in love with him not all that long ago, and I don’t know that I…”

“Mom, I trust Casey. Please, don’t push this any further.”

“I trust Casey too, dear. I’m not sure I trust Ethan.”

“Ethan is not the same person he was when we were in med school, Ma, and, frankly, I was the real dick back then, not him.”

“He was a … God, I wish you used better language… you were both rather horrible at times.”

“Casey isn’t a prize Mom, she is a beautiful, talented and independent woman. She’s not going to do anything she doesn’t want to do and, I know she loves me. I’m not worried at all.”

“Not even a little?”

“No.”

“On a scale of one to a hundred, with not being worried a zero and being out of your mind worried being a hundred, you expect me to believe you’re at a zero.”

Now it was Tobias’s turn to be quiet.

“I’m at like a five, OK. But a five isn’t really a big deal.”

“But it isn’t a zero.”

The other line beeped, “Mom, that’s Casey calling me, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“OK, just be …”

“Goodbye, mom!”

“Hello?”

“Hello, gorgeous.”

“Hey, that’s usually what I say to you, how dare you turn the tables on me.”

“Well, considering I just walked into my room and realized that there must not be a single rose left in the state of Colorado, I figured my boyfriend deserves a little flattery.”

“Ah, so they arrived.”

“By the truckload. T, they’re gorgeous, but God, did you go overboard.”

“Hey, there is no overboard. Nothing is too good for you. If I can’t be with you on our first Valentine’s Day, well, I’m sending the holiday to you.”

“I’m I going to have a cherub show up at my door singing love songs tomorrow, aren’t I?”

“Should I cancel it?”

“You’re insane,” she laughed.

“Hey, isn’t your presentation in under an hour? I figured you and Ethan would be setting up.”

“Yeah, we will be. I just came back to my room for a minute to cool off.”

“Oh, why?” He asked a bit apprehensively.

“I went to a seminar this morning. Some asshole going on and on about how lobbying to redirect federal funds would be beneficial to the medical community. Yeah, beneficial to for-profit entities that could give a damn about treating anyone except the one percent. I’m fit to be tied! I called your Mom because Rep. Kenner is one of the jackasses set to co-sponsor the legislation, since I met with him at her party, asked if I could set up a meeting. I have to at least try to talk some sense into him.”

“You, what?”

“I set up a meeting with…”

“No, I heard that, I’m just a little surprised.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never seen you involved on this end of things, that’s all, I certainly didn’t mean anything by it.”

“T., did you not see me annihilate Sen. Farrugia on national TV,” she chuckled, “though, I guess he got his revenge on me in a twisted way, didn’t he?”

“Hey, I’m not saying anything, I was just surprised. But good for you, I’m proud of you.”

“Want to see if you can come along with me? I’m just going to go to DC for the day.”

“Uhm, maybe. I’ll tell you what, let me look into the issue and I’ll let you know?”

“Uhm, OK, sure. But I think you being there, being Vivian’s son and all, it might hold more weight.”

“Yeah,” he said rubbing his neck, “you know, I never really got into that end of the family… business… so to speak. I do the medicine.”

“I get that, but sometimes making sure people are cared for means taking a step outside of the medicine. If the medicine can’t be provided to all people in need, just the select, then what the fuck is the purpose?”

“I don’t disagree baby, but I’m going to ask you to do me a favor.”

“Sure, what.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Pacing around my beautiful, floral-scented hotel room like a maniac.”

“Just what I thought. I want you to sit on the bed. Can you do that?”

“OK,” she smiled, “I’m sitting.”

“Now close your eyes. Are they closed?”

“Yes,” she grinned.”

“Now lay back on the bed.”

“Tobias, if you start telling me to touch myself, I swear….”

He laughed, “I wish, but this isn’t the time. But don’t think I’m not calling about that tonight. But right now I just want you to close your eyes and stay quiet. Smell the roses, literally, and listen to me tell you how much I love you. Because you have a presentation in,” he looked at his watch,” in thirty-five minutes now, and I want you to be calm before. OK.”

“OK,” she sighed.

“So you rest for a little bit then get down there and kick ass. We’ll talk about the rest when you’re home, OK?”

“OK. Tobias?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you, baby. For the roses, for this, for everything.”

“No need to thank me. Call me after."

_____________________

Casey and Ethan were laughing together as they made their way down the hallway to their rooms. They spent the last two hours in one of the resort’s bars. The fact that they partook in many celebratory drinks may have contributed to their jovial moods.

“I can’t believe that idiot tried to challenge you,” Casey laughed, “does he not know your reputation? Did he think you��d just sit there, especially when the data speaks for itself!”

“Never mind the data, the results speak for themselves. We should have brought Naveen as exhibit number 8. When he was asking for proof, he could have stepped up and done a pirouette across the damn podium.”

Casey went hysterical laughing at the thought of it. Watching her doubled over with tears in the corner of her eyes made Ethan laugh just as much.

“Oh, my God, I never thought I’d laugh this hard at a damn medical conference,” Casey said wiping her eyes.

“Well, the truth of that matter is, that idiot was one of the people who reviewed Naveen’s test results and came up blank. I think he’s still hurting over the fact that an intern bested him.”

“Him? I bested all of you!”

“Yes, but not all of us are big enough to be happy about it.”

“Oh, please! You were happy about it because it was Naveen! If I would have solved it for some stranger at a hospital in San Francisco after you came up blank, you probably would have been a sore loser too, Ethan. I know your ego!”

“That’s not true at all.”

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“It’s not. I would have been beyond impressed and began making moves to convince you to come to Edenbrook. Hell, I would have convinced the Board to pay off your student debt to acquire you.”

“Shit! Does that offer still stand? I would think bringing international acclaim to the hospital and saving our Chief of Medicine’s life should garner me that!”

Ethan smiled, “As much as I wish I could, I think that offer will not be on the table.”

“Well, can’t blame me for trying.”

Ethan looked at her smiling, and she didn’t immediately turn away. Maybe it was the alcohol, but before he knew it he blurted it out.

“That offer is not on the table, but can I propose another? Our presentation was a home run, I think a celebratory dinner is in order. I saw this nice restaurant, we passed it on the way to the hotel, it looked charming, quaint... exactly the kind of place you would love. I already took the liberty of checking its reviews online, and they are excellent. So, what do you say?”

She went to speak, then hesitated, he could see the indecision in her eyes, and he wasn’t sure if pushing her further would be the right or the wrong thing to do. His uncertainty stemmed from the fact that even he was unsure of his motives. So how could he expect her to trust him? In the end, he decided to push forward.

“What do you say, Casey? It’s just dinner. A peace offering, and a celebration, nothing more. Shall I call in a reservation?”

Casey bit her bottom lip as she stood there, giving far too much thought to her answer. She looked at her watch, it was already six PM.

“What time would you want to do this?”

“Considering we both have to get ready and get there, say 7:30? As long as there is a table available.”

“Sure,” she said. “I guess we deserve to celebrate, after all.”

Ethan tried to disguise his smile, but it was futile.

“I’ll pick you up around 7:00,” he joked.

“I’ll meet you in the lobby at 7:10,” she said flatly before turning away.

____________________

Casey said she’d meet him at the lobby at 7:10. So Ethan was there at 6:55. He kept thinking about how his therapist was going to rip him apart for this, and he may lament it then; but right now, he did not care. All he cared about was Casey, having some alone time with her. He knew it bordered on pathetic, but this was better than nothing at all.

Casey made her way down the staircase at 7:00PM. She had struggled with what to wear, her wardrobe choices limited to what she packed, and she certainly had no expectations of dinner alone with Ethan, so she didn’t have the perfect outfit for that occasion. However, what exactly would that outfit be? She settled on a plain black sweater dress coupled with a pair of black boots. A simple, classic look and not much could be read into it. Of course, she still looked beautiful, especially to Ethan, who would have thought she was magnificent even if she had turned up in rags.

“Hi.”

“Hi, you look stunning.”

She shot him a look that made it clear that he should refrain from saying anything like that again, and he took note.

“The car is going to be here in just five minutes, and the restaurant is only fifteen minutes away. I’m starving, so that seems like an eternity,” he chuckled.

“I’m rather hungry myself. Hungry and tired, I’m sure I’ll be a joy to be with this evening.”

“I have a feeling it will be fine.”

Ethan was right about the restaurant, it was exactly the kind of place Casey adored. Though a city girl at heart, she loved a ride to the countryside and dine at a cozy little inn. The stone Tudor cottage that stood before her looked like something out of a fairy tale, the glow from the soft lighting and candles inside emitted from the ivory lace curtains covering the windows. The inside was no less charming, stone fireplaces sat on either side of the room, antique furnishings and hurricane lanterns completed the look. It was tastefully, but abundantly, decorated for Valentine’s Day tomorrow. If Casey were slightly uncomfortable before, being here alone with Ethan turned that dial up exponentially.

Spending the night before the holiday, at a romantic restaurant with Ethan, and not Tobias, felt so wrong, regardless of the circumstances. Once again, she found herself wanting to trust Ethan, but unable to have full faith. She began to think about the copious amounts of celebratory wine she imbibed in earlier and was that what led to this poor choice? She wished she was eating pizza in her room right now. But she was there and determined to make the best of it.

The waiter came over to introduce himself and take their drink order. Of course, Ethan went for a high-end Macallan scotch, straight. Casey ordered a glass of Cardinale Cabernet Sauvignon.

“Excellent selection! Your girlfriend has exquisite taste in wine,” he smiled.

“Oh, she…”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” Casey said politely, but firmly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, with Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I just assumed…”

“Don’t worry, it won’t impact your tip,” Casey joked, putting the waiter at ease.

“I hope that wasn’t too awkward,” Ethan said softly.

“To a degree. But it happens. When we were together people used to assume that Tobias and I were a couple all the time.”

“They did?” It came out sounding more irritated than he expected.

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yes, you did. I used to tell you about it, you didn’t seem to care.”

“Well, I guess I didn’t care so much because I believed you had no interest in him,” he said bitterly.

“I didn’t,” Casey answered in the same tone. “I didn’t, at that time Ethan. But you can choose to believe whatever you wish.”

He put his menu on the table and closed his eyes as he let out a deep sigh. He opened them and realized Casey had not removed her stern gaze from him.

“I do believe you, Casey. I do. But you must admit, it’s ironic to see how the tables have turned.”

“According to their reviews, they’re known for their filet mignon,” Casey said clearly changing the subject, “I think I’m just going to go with that.”

“I think I’ll go with that myself, though, I’ll add a lobster tail and call it a surf and turf. We may as well splurge a little today, special occasions call for a little indulgence.”

She wanted to make a smart-aleck remark, but she refrained.

“I meant because of the successful presentation today. Nothing else. Casey. You know what, if this is too uncomfortable, we can go.”

She sighed and sat back in her chair.

“It’s fine, Ethan. I don’t want things to be so awkward between us, but I suppose the longer we avoid the awkwardness, the harder it will ever be to get past it. Does that make sense?”

“I think it does.”

“How about this. For the remainder of this meal, we put everything aside and play a game.”

“I’m listening.”

“We can ask each other anything, and the other party doesn’t have to answer, but they can’t take offense. Of course, if they chose to answer, there can still be no offense taken. We will call this game, let’s clear the air.”

“You’re feeling brave.”

“I’m feeling like it needs to be done, so why don’t we just do it.”

“Here? In public?”

“I figure it will keep things civil. Like the guys who bring their girlfriends to a restaurant to break up with them.”

“They usually get a glass of wine thrown in their face.”

“Well, I never said I that was off the table,” she smiled. “Are you in?”

“I’m in.”

“OK, then you start.”

He sat quietly, studying her. She sat with her elbows perched on the table, her eyes filled with determination set right on him, and only one question came to his mind.

“Are you happy?”

“You don’t start small, do you?”

“You said anything.”

Casey sat back and took a shuddering breath before answering.

“Yes, Ethan. I am happy.”

It was expected, so the would wasn’t as deep as it could have been, and he covered it well; but he forgot how well Casey knew him, so she could see the truth.

“Honestly, I’m glad,” he swallowed, “and I believe that makes it your turn.”

“What about you. Are you happy?”

He took his time, weighing his answer.

“Not really. But I will be.”

Casey smiled wanly, “Good. Because I want you to be. Your turn.”

“How… how serious are the two of you?”

Casey held her breath, it was her idea, her game, she couldn’t be upset, right?

“We are serious. It’s new, of course, but it is serious. It’s not a fling, and… it’s not a rebound.”

Ethan pursed his lips, but kept his composure, it was her game, but it was his question, and if he asked, she had every right to answer.

“Are you and Floria… a thing?”

“I almost want to ask why you care.”

“You’re not allowed to. At least not until after you answer my question.”

“No. We’re not. And why do you care?”

“I care because, even if we’re no longer together, even after all that’s happened between us, I still care about you, and I worry about you, and I don’t trust her.”

“I’m a big boy, Casey. I can take care of myself.”

“That’s debatable,” she said instantly. Ethan looked up at her, and for a moment she saw the man she met years ago, the attending who was flabbergasted by her audacity to stand up to him. Even though the rules said no offense, perhaps she went too far. “I’m sorry, Ethan. That was uncalled for.”

“Uncalled for, but perhaps true.”

“No. It isn’t true. At least it shouldn’t be. I just had a lightbulb moment and I believe it is my turn, so I need to ask you thins. When, when we were together, was I too much?” Her voice broke, “Did I let you take care of yourself, or did I feel the need to do it for you? It’s a fine line, Ethan, it’s a fine line between caring and helping, and enabling. Did I cross that line?”

“Casey,” he instinctively reached across the table and touched her hand, she shuddered but didn’t pull away. “I don’t think so. I don’t know. I’m still working so much out that, maybe you can ask me that question again after six months of therapy.”

“Did I let you believe you could do anything, and that I would always be there, no matter how much you put me through?”

“I think it was my turn,” he said nervously, evading the question.

“Just answer, Ethan.”

“Perhaps.”

Casey pulled her hand slowly away and grabbed her napkin. She looked down for a moment and dabbed her eyes. Ethan remained silent, giving her the time she needed.

“Then I feel I should apologize, not only to you but to myself. Because I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You owe me no apology, Casey. I owe you one because I should have never taken advantage of it, and I did. Time and time again.”

The waiter arrived, interrupting their conversation.

“Are we ready to order?”

“Yes,” Casey answered quickly, grateful for the distraction, “I’ll just have the tri-color salad with grilled chicken, no dressing please.”

“And you sir?”

“Filet mignon, medium well, and a lobster tail.”

“And for your sides?”

Ethan’s eyes were fixed on Casey, who was looking toward the floor.

“I’ll let you decide.”

“Very well.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, making me feel like I have to have a lighter meal after all. It’s OK. My arteries are probably thanking you anyway…”

“For everything. In my entire life, no one was ever as good to me as you were. Not even my Dad, not even Naveen, and they have been wonderful; but you, you had no reason to be, and even when I gave you more than enough reason reconsider, you just kept giving. And how did I repay you?”

Casey’s eyes were clenched shut and he saw her lips begin to quiver. She took a deep breath and regained her composure.

“Ethan, I appreciate that, but maybe this isn’t the place after all.”

“Very well. But I’m still glad I said it. You should know.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “I guess let’s clear the air was the right name for that little game.”

“Well, we’ve at least started to clear the air, and honestly, it feels good.”

“It does,” she smiled. “Life’s… different now, Ethan. I suppose it takes time, we can’t expect it to always be easy.”

“No. But this was a good first step.”

The waiter arrived and placed the food before them. As Casey pushed her salad around with her fork, Ethan could tell that she regretted her entre choice. He grabbed the waiter’s attention as he passed by.

“If I could trouble you, would you mind bringing us a filet mignon, medium-well, with a baked potato and grilled vegetables on the side?”

Casey looked over at him and smiled.

“What are you doing?”

“Would you like him to wrap that for you? I think it will make a wonderful lunch tomorrow.”

“Yes, please.”

“Very well, ma’am, I’d be happy too.”

“I’m glad you’re smiling. I was afraid you might have thought I was overstepping.”

“Well, you were,” she smiled, “but I’m never going to be angry at someone for replacing my salad with filet mignon.”

“So, what do you say. Are we on the road to being friends?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled, “I’d like that a lot.”

They finished the rest of their meal talking about much safer topics, mostly about the conference, new medical developments, and work, but the air was lighter, the conversation flowed more freely. Casey felt he was accepting things as they were now and she was happy for it. Ethan felt… something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Being there with her tonight, he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t wish things were different, but he also began to see, if he didn’t let go of the past, and toward the present and what things would be, the chance of keeping her in his life at all was slim, and that was something he could not face. This option would be difficult, but he was willing to try.

____________________

The flight home was less awkward. This time, they arranged for their seats to be together in advance. At first, they sounded like friendly business colleagues, discussing a successful trip. Casey teased him about actually enjoying a conference. He brought up her upcoming trip to DC, praised her for fighting for what she believed in, even asked her if she intended to have Tobias travel with her. In time they began to read, watch the inflight movie, doze off. It was normal, and it felt good.

Casey’s phone buzzed several times while they were on the flight. Sometimes it was work issues, at others it was one of her friends, but Ethan could tell when it was Tobias. A look came over her face, and he was quite sure she didn’t even know it was happening. But he knew the look well because it used to be his.

Casey didn’t know she was making it, nor did she realize the smile that came spontaneously to her face whenever Tobias's name appeared on her phone. But it was there.

“So, do you have a ride home?”

“I was planning on getting a cab,” Casey answered as they made their way into the airport. “What about you?”

“Hey!” A far too peppy voice rang out. Floria walked over to Ethan’s side and tugged at his sleeve. “I’m so glad I got here early, who ever heard of a flight landing before schedule at Logan! Oh, hi Casey. How was the flight?”

“It was early and we’re in one piece, in my book that’s good.”

“I guess so,” she looked around, “is Tobias picking you up?”

“No, considering half of the diagnostic team is already here…”

“Oh, that’s true. Do you need to go to the baggage claim?” She asked Ethan.

“Heavens no. That’s why I packed light.”

“Well,” Casey said awkwardly, “I’m going to be on my way. You two have a good night.”

“Casey, how are you getting home?”

“Oh, I’m just going to grab a taxi outside…”

“Nonsense! Come with us, I’d be happy to drop you off.”

“No, it’s OK, Floria, I will be…”

“Casey, come along,” Ethan stated, “I’d rather know we got you home safe.”

“Well, then, lead the way.”

Floria and Ethan walked ahead of Casey, talking animatedly the whole way, right until they got to her car and they both slid into the front seat. Casey wondered, Ethan said there was nothing going on between them, but when did they become “pick you up at the airport” close?

“So, did you enjoy the trip, Casey?” Floria asked.

“It was very nice, actually. The presentation went well.”

“That’s good. I’m sure it was very hard to be away from Tobias, it was your first Valentine’s Day together after all.”

She looked in the rear-view mirror, watching to gauge Casey’s reaction.

“Well, we promised to celebrate another day. We’ll survive.”

“Well, that’s good to know. So, how are things between you? I have to admit, I’m still shocked that you and he… you know?”

Ethan seemed to writhe in his seat but didn’t say a word.

“Really, Floria? I’m not sure why it’s so hard to see. In fact, you used to comment about how close we were. It’s not that abnormal to go from friends to something more, now, is it?”

“No,” Floria said, stealthily sneaking a peek over at Ethan, “I supposed it is not.”

“What about you? I know your divorce isn’t finalized yet, but for all intents and purposes, you’re a single woman now. Did you have a special someone on Valentine’s Day?”

“Me? No, I mean, I don’t have too many friends in Boston right now, much less more than friends. But, that can always change. I’ll keep you posted.”

Just then Casey’s phone buzzed.

“Oh, damn it.”

“Something wrong?” Ethan asked.

“Well, Harper has a stomach bug. So, Tobias is working a double.”

“Well, that sure sucks, doesn’t it,” Floria chimed in.

“I think they can live waiting to see each other to the morning,” Ethan answered with more than a touch of annoyance in his voice.

Casey looked out the window, they were just three blocks from the hospital, and they would have to go much further out of their way to take her home.

“You know what, Floria, just drop me off at Edenbrook.”

“What? Don’t you need to get home and get some rest? You are in early tomorrow,” Ethan questioned.

“I slept half the flight home. Plus, I won’t stay at the hospital all night and it won’t take you so far out of your way.”

“If you're sure?” Floria asked.

“I am. Just bring me there.”

“Oh, that works out well. If we do that, we will pass by that diner on the way to your place, I’m sure you are famished, Ethan.”

“It might not be the worst idea.”

“I mean, it’s no Valentine’s Day dinner, but no one says no to a grilled cheese and soup on a cold winter’s night.”

“I can’t argue with you there,” Ethan smiled.

“Well, thank you for the lift,” Casey said about to lug her suitcase out of the car when Ethan jumped out of the passenger seat and took it out for her.

“Are you sure you want to lug that around here? If you don’t need anything desperately, I can take it home and bring it in to you in the morning.”

“Thank you, Ethan, but I can more than manage a suitcase.”

He took it out of the car and handed it to her, Casey noticed Floria was watching their every move.

“Well, thank you again, Floria,” Casey said with a sickeningly sweet smile, “I appreciate the ride.”

“Oh, anytime. And Casey, say hello to Tobias for me,” she smirked.

“Come now, Floria, all of us know that probably isn’t the best idea. You two enjoy your… grilled cheese I guess.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ethan said, a bit of longing in his eyes as Casey walked off.

____________________

Casey went to the team’s office and left her suitcase. When she saw Tobias wasn’t there, she walked out to the nurse’s station.

“Hey, Maureen.”

“Hey, Dr. MacTavish, welcome back.”

“Thank you. By any chance, do you know where Dr. Carrick is?”

“Actually, he was going to the nurse’s station in the east wing, a package that was supposed to come here was delivered there instead, he said he could use the walk.”

“OK, thank you! Oh, and if you see him, don’t tell him I’m here.”

Maureen smiled knowingly, “You got it, lovebird.”

“Maureen, stop!” Casey grinned.

As Casey made her way down the hallway, a nurse noticed her coming and Casey held her finger to her mouth as a sign to keep quiet. Tobias was holding court, telling a wild story and making everyone laugh. His animated personality and desire to keep people entertained was one of the things she loved most about him, and one of the things others did too by the infatuated looks on several of the nurse’s faces.

Yep, ladies, but he’s all mine.

Casey thought as she made her way toward him. Sneaking up behind him, she reached around and covered his eyes from behind, catching him mid-sentence.

“Guess who?”

Tobias stopped in his tracks and jumped around to face Casey, completely forgetting that he was at work for a moment.

“Case!” he yelled pulling her into a kiss and lifting her off the floor, earning more than one dirty look from the night nurses.

“Mmmmh,” Casey said with his lips still on hers. “Baby! We’re at work.”

“Oh, shit. That’s right, sorry. I forgot.��

He turned to the nurses and said, “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to take this package and leave.”

“By package to you mean this box, or Dr. MacTavish,” one of the nurses laughed.

“Hey, that’s an HR offense,” Tobias said pointing at her mockingly.

“Yeah, so is all but making out with your girlfriend in front of us, so you do what you have to do,” she laughed.

Casey smiled and said, “I’ll take him off your hands now, ladies.”

“So what are you doing here?” he asked grinning. “Why didn’t you go right home?”

“Because what’s so exciting about going home if I knew you weren’t going to be there anytime soon? I thought I’d at least stop by. Are you complaining?”

“Oh, hell no! I’m so damn happy to see you, hang on. Let me drop this off.”

“Maureen, darling,” he said animatedly placing the box in front of her, “I believe this belongs to you?”

“It sure does, thank you! And it looks as though you found him, Dr. MacTavish?”

“I sure did, thanks for the tip, Maureen.”

“So, I’ve got a little something for you,” Tobias said putting his arm around Casey’s shoulder.

“Tobias! Again, we’re at work?”

“What?” He said turning around. “Oh, Maureen, she doesn’t care.”

Maureen smiled and waved them off.

“You see? Point proven."

He led her into the team's office, like the rest of the hospital, it was dark and quiet at this late hour. He turned on the bright fluorescent lights and Casey winced.

“Oh, could we do without them?”

“I guess,” he said walking over to turn on a lamp near the couch. He went into his bag and retrieved a small red, heart-shaped box of chocolates with a small teddy bear attached to the front.

“Here,” he said kissing her forehead, “for you. Happy Belated beautiful.”

“Awww, Tobias, that’s so sweet.”

They both sat on the couch and she fell into his arms.

“But I have a question, you didn’t know I was coming, so where did this come from?”

“OK, full disclosure. A patient gave it to me, and I’m giving it to you.”

“Really? A patient giving you a Valentine? Do I need to be concerned?”

“Casey, she’s four.”

“Well, she has very good taste,” Casey smiled.

“God, I missed you.”

He turned her head toward him to look into her eyes.

“I missed you too, that’s why I’m here and not home under the down comforter by now.”

“Damn, baby, I wish I was under that down comforter with you.”

“Soon,” she smiled, “real soon.”

Without warning his lips crashed upon hers, pushing her back into the couch. Casey put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, even more passionately.

“I love you,” he groaned into her ear.

“Love you, too,” she whispered back. “So, are we going to make out here?”

“You’re lucky that’s all I’m going to do.”

“Oh, if you’re insinuating that I’m lucky because you’re not going further, well, then you don’t know what lucky means, sir.”

“Poor choice of words, but I’m saving this for home, baby; no way I’d be able to keep the volume down after being away from you.”

“Well, then go back to kissing me and feeling me up, it’s better than nothing.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said pulling her into a sloppy kiss. “Oh, by the way…”

“Yes,” she said between kisses.

“Pull out one of your dresses, (kiss) I’m taking you to Mistral (kiss) tomorrow night.”

“Special occasion?” (kiss)

“You don’t think I’m just (kiss) giving you a hand me down (kiss) from a four-year-old for Valentine’s Day, do you?”

“I should hope not,” she giggled as the kisses intensified.

____________________

“Thanks again for the ride, Floria. And dinner, now I know to pay the bill before I go to the men’s room.”

“It was grilled cheese and soup, Ethan, allow me to treat you to that.”

“Fine,” he said stepping out of the car. “But, wait, I would like to take you to dinner as a thank you, would you be agreeable to that.”

“I could be convinced. Where do you have in mind?”

“Mistral? Tomorrow night?”

“Mistral? That’s awfully, fancy…”

“Do you have something against fancy?”

“No, not at all. Fine. I’ll call for a reservation, but plan on me picking you up around seven?”

“Sounds like a plan. Good night, Ethan.” SERIES MASTERLIST

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mirkysconcubinefiction · 3 years

Text

Masterlist

■■ ■■ ■■

MirkysConcubineFiction Fictions are written for my enjoyment and to disassociate for reality.

Dark themes - angst - fluff - It's a bit raunchy and you're responsible for your own media consumption.

Reader Inserts are written as **** vs Y/N. It's easier for me. If you see **** it can imply first, last, middle, or whole name.

I do have an AO3.

I write Captain America, Winter Soldier. Harry Potter, Spiderman/Deadpool, Twilight, and I read so much more but ideas are always welcome :)

There's more... I just need to edit my shit and post vs angst over it so I can post the other shit I have saved up to torture the interested with.

😅 fun fact - I don't respond to reviews only cuz my porn account is my default apparently so it won't be mirkysconcubinefiction but ###. Fun times. Not ignoring you on purpose just awkward.

🖤🖤💝🖤🖤

■■ ■■ ■■

Steve Roger:

Just No - WIP

Summary: You're the bastard child of Kingpin. You're the girlfriend of Captain America. The classic tale of girl overhears they were an 'assignment' and the boy admits that yes, he had a girlfriend but he loves you now. Shit hits the fan - will girl forgive boy? Will boy let girl go one he finds out she's hiding something? Will girl throw it all away for love? Would the boy?

Notes: Angst x Fluff x Happy Ending x asshole Steve x Suicidal Thoughts x 🔫 x mentions of Abortion x Mental Health x Dark Themes

Story Here

I Thought You Should Know - Complete

Summary: A simple story of you (****) finding out that it was all a lie.

Excerpt: It was your fault really. Maybe those novels had fucked you up with hope and dreams.

Notes: Angst x Cheating x Affair x Drama x Suicidal Thoughts

Story - Here

Bucky Barnes:

You Know Series

Here

Pairings: Steve x Reader (past) • Bucky x Reader

Steve Roger had an affair and you run away only for Bucky Barnes to follow you. It's a interesting journey of stalking and falling in love while learning to accept each other as they were.

Warning: Affair x Dark Themes x Stalker x Questionable Reader x Angst x Fluff

Part 3 a WIP - under revision.

Kinda the Secretary

Mob!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You're undercover and Bucky knows you're there for him. He's wrong of course - you're there for a vacation.

Here

Affair

Stuff: Angst - Short - Betrayal - Toxic Family - Miscarriage Mentioned - Tears.

Summary: He had cheated and life isn't fair but time will do you justice.

Here

Petty - complete

Mafia!Bucky

Warnings: Angst, Cheating, Pregnancy, Domestic Abuse, Postpartum, Guns, Running Away, Swearing, Abandonment, Possessiveness, Divorce, Dark/Mob Themes.

Summary: The Affair doesn't surprise you. Bucky pointing a gun at you didn't scare you, him threatening to shoot you didn't make you flinch. He crossed a line and you run, cutting ties with your ex, baby, everything you had built over the past decade. Desperate you call an old friend and hope they can help...

HeRe

Stucky:

Beautifully Broken - Complete

Notes: Dark Themes x Mentions of Child Se*ual Abuse (no details) x Mental Health Issues x Suicidal Thoughts x Self Harm (not graphic) x asshole Steve Roger's x Pastel Goth design

Summary: She had been the odd one in the group. The interloper. A soldier that had been added to their group courtesy of a favor Steve would be the first one to admit he had been part of the problem with the team accepting her.

Story - Here

Executioner - Complete

Here

Pairing: Captain Hydra x Agent Reader x Winter Soldier. (Steve x Reader x Bucky)

Notes: Sex Pollen (kinda) x Dark Cast × Dubious Consent

Summary: "The mission is canceled." And with that both men left the training room with you none the wiser.

As and Agent for HYDRA a mission is a mission and an injury won't keep you from succeeding. Too bad you caught the eye of Captain HYDRA and the Winter Soldier.

They wanted you.

That's all that mattered.

Short and Sweet

Summary: You go on vacation... the boys are party poopers.

Here

No Goodbyes

A/B/O

Summary: They were you best friends turned lovers, they joined the military with promises to take you away too but they lied. Fuck them. On your own, successful, you meet them again and you hate that they won't just leave you the fuck alone!

Notes: Angst x Dark Themes x Omega to Beta transition x Toxic Family x Mention of Abortion x Kidnapping x Swearing x Major AU...

♡Chapters Posting Soon♡

Ch 1 - complete • Ch 2 - complete • Ch 3 - WIP

Pretty in the Brain

Notes: Beautiful and Brilliant reader with touches of Angst and Depression.

Summary: They wanted you because you were pretty, esthetically pleasing, you just wanted to be left alone.

HeRe

Other Pairings:

Trisum

Sam x reader x Bucky

Notes: Hella short.

Summary: How it all starts.

Here

Maurader

Peter Parker

Summary: Decisions are made. Actions have consequences and Peter doesn't consider himself a Hero anymore. He's a thief that defends his bounty.

Here

Quietly Jaded - WIP

Pairing: Omega!Peter/Alpha!Kingpin -- Omega!Peter\Avengers

Summary: Peter Parker is an Omega masquerading as a Beta. A story of student loans, Avengers wanting Spiderman, Avengers wanting Peter Parker for his Omega status, and Peter just done with them. He doesn't need them - he already has an Alpha. Not the best Alpha but... Well... Fuck.

Tags: Major AU, ABO world, Heats/Ruts, Drug Abuse, Dark Personalities, College Peter, Dubious Consent, more added later.

***UNDER HEAVY REVISION***

You Decide

SpideyPool

A/N: this is a 'What if Scenario'. Deadpool can either be a Grade A asshole or has been framed to appear as a Grade A asshole. You Decide.

Plot: Established Relationship. Peter has chosen TeamDeadpool and that comes with him breaking from the Avengers, specifically Tony. A message is sent to Peter and he has a breakdown.

Angsty, dark, depressing, suicidal breakdown.

In the end the Reader decides. Is this a Major Character Death fic or Angsty but not Dead (but almost) fic? Is Deadpool Guilty?

Here

Crossovers:

I Thought You Should Know - Complete

sequel

Crossover w/ Superman.

Complete - Here

Clark Kent x Reader x Lex Luthor - Lex Luthor x Clark

Notes: Angst with Happy Ending x affairs x Cheating x Exploitation of a Child (no details) x Dark Themes x Dark Steve Roger's

Summary: Time passes and you (****) come back to stir trouble, get even, and maybe move on to better options? A girl can dream right?

Drabbles and Plots:

Omega trope 1

Random: bucky/reader/Steve- omega reader - meh... if you can make it better @ me so I can read 🖤

HeRe

Plot Idea - sex pollen inspired.

Here

Plot Idea 2

Reader can jump through portals. Soulmate AU/ABO inspired. Stealing the Tesseract.

Here

Plot Idea 3

Peter Parker inspired.

Here

Plot Idea 4

*Mob! x Peter Parker*

Here

Omega Trope 2

*Alpha Stucky (Steve/Bucky)

Omega Reader (Dark BAMF)

Here

Original Fiction:

Cliffs Edge - Complete (for now)

Bedlamite (villain) x Reader

*not gender specific.

*death, carnage, suicidal themes, warlord fantasy theme, not betad, aaaand lust/obsession if you squint.

Summary: Bedlamite was his name, destruction his cause, Death his shield, and madness his armor. A Beast of a man with a thirst for blood and you had nearly been a casualty when his ship arrived and his troops had slaughtered your homeland.

HeRe

Monster

Warning: Dark, monster/cryptid, blood, illusions to abuse, running away, attempt at suicide by monster. Questionable ending.

Summary: when the monster in the woods isn't as scary as the monster chasing you. Better to be eaten than go back, right?

HeRe

#mirkysconcubinefiction #fanfiction #masterlist #master list

109 notes · View notes

harrysgloves · 3 years

Text

The Devil You Know

Harry Styles x Reader

Story Summary: CEO!Harry punishes reader in his office after catching her flirting with his coworker.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Language // This is just straight up p*rn // Daddy kink // Spanking (belt) // Oral Sex (male receiving) // Vaginal Sex // Anal Sex // Degrading // The slightest bit of choking // Probably a whole lot more that I’m missing // Not edited... sorry

Authors Note: Another work in progress finally DONE! YAY! Hope you guys like it! Feedback is always loved and appreciated so much! Thank you guys so much for reading. xx

>>><<<

Your high heels clicked against the cold marble tile of the lobby floor for the second time that day. Your billowing black winter coat hit your knees with every step you took towards the elevator.

You could have seen him earlier but his secretary swore he was busy. Like he could ever be too busy for you. You scoffed, a roll of your pretty eyes before telling this no-good conniving bitch what was up.

"Tell my daddy that his girl was here," You said, tongue wetting your lips as you leaned over her desk. Your perfectly manicured hands landing loudly over the papers she should have been working on instead of hitting on your man. "And just so we're very clear on something, sweetheart. He's not my father."

You turned on the spot, hips swaying just a bit extra as you marched yourself back down to the elevator. Grumbling under your breath the whole way.

Who did she think she was?

Harry was yours. Your daddy, your sweetheart, your boyfriend. You two had been together for years. Your name was tattooed in red ink on his wrist for fuck sakes but that sense of jealousy burned deep into the pit of your stomach.

The vibration from your phone was the only thing that pulled you out of your thoughts to go up there and teach that girl a lesson on who ran the show around here. His picture flashed across your screen. You scoffed, ignoring the call, and shoving the phone back into your expense handbag. Yes, it was against his stupid rules to ignore his phone calls but you were pissed. He could go screw Karen, or Tina, or whatever her name was for all you cared.

"Bad day?" The sound of another voice in the elevator made you jump. You didn't even notice someone else in here when you got on. How long had he been watching you throw a fit?

"You could say that." You sighed, your back leaning against the cool metal of the elevator as it reached the bottom floor. Door opening to reveal the perfectly decorated lobby floor.

"Pretty girls like you shouldn't have bad days." He flashed a smile towards you when you chuckled, shaking your head at him. He was cute, you'd give him that, but he was no Harry.

"I'll keep that in mind." You said as you started to walk out in front of him. Until your heel caught on the ledge of where the elevator met the floor. Your hands desperately trying to catch onto something before you hit your ass on the ground. You weren't dressed to be falling. A small silk camisole dress paired with no underwear didn't make for a good look if you landed with your legs wide open right now.

Plus, that pretty pink plug Harry had fucked into your ass that morning before leaving you wanting and needy didn't exactly seem like the best thing to be landing on.

The hands around your waist was the only thing that saved you from mortifying public embarrassment. Your arms against his toned chest as he held you inches from the ground.

"Thanks." You breathed out, a cheeky smile on his face when he lifted you back to your feet.

"Well," he said, his arms still on the small of your waist. "I'm part-time broker, full-time knight in shining armor."

You laughed that big deep luscious laugh that made Harry fall in love with you. Your hand ran over his chest to lay back down the collar of his suit that you had grabbed. You backed away without a second thought, thanking him yet again before leaving the building.

Not once seeing Harry's fuming face staring you down from the stairwell.

>>>

"Kristen?" Harry asked as he exited his office. His eyebrows scrunched together when he opened his door to see the new girl sitting there with no you in sight. He could have sworn he heard your voice.

"It's Catherine." She corrected what he assumed to be a flirty look crossed her face as he stood in front of her desk.

"Right. Anyway, was a girl jus' out 'ere looking fo' me?" He asked, describing you down to what you were wearing for the day. The mental picture of you sauntering around the apartment in that fucking dress when he didn't have the time to do what he really wanted to do to you that morning played in his mind.

"Uh, well, someone was but she ran off pretty quickly." She lied with a shrug of her shoulders. Harry's eyes narrowed at her when her cheeks flamed red.

Why did he always end up with the crazy assistants?

"Y'sure 'bout that?" He asked again, his hardening stare made her splutter and crack as he rounded her desk to stand directly in front of her.

"You were busy, Mr. Styles, I sent her away." She mumbled, her eyes flashing away from him when he cursed under his breath.

He already knew what you'd be thinking. His hands fished in his suit pocket for his phone to press your icon. One ring, two rings, voice-mail. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of how insecure you could get sometimes.

Not like you ever needed to be insecure. He thought you were a total knockout. Plus, he was absolutely head over heels in love with you.

"Y'can pack up yeh things." He said as he slid his phone back into his pocket. Her eyes widened at his words, fake apologies started, but he didn't care. He only wanted to make sure you were okay. He needed to reassure you that you had no reason to feel insecure or jealous.

You were the only girl for him.

His fast steps down the stairs got him to the lobby in no time. Whatever thankfulness he had to catch you before you left was gone the second he saw that bastard touch you.

He swore his eyes could have shot flames through that curly headed asshole. His chest pounded with a rage he didn't know he could feel when you laughed. God, that fucking laugh. His tongue wet his lips before his teeth ground together.

You touched him. Your hands ran down his chest, smoothing out his suit, like you'd done for him so many times. Your fingers lingered a second too long. The guys hands tightened into the fleshy curves of your hips a little too much, pulling you in closer to him before you eventually walked off.

Your bouncing ass caught the attention of the guy who had touched you. Shameless staring at his fucking girl while you walked out of the building. He had to repeatedly remind himself that he couldn't beat the shit out of his own employees.

His fist unclenched when you were long gone. He brought his phone out once again to send you a text.

My office. 7pm.

>>>

You stormed through the lobby, up the elevator, not paying any mind to the people around you. Ready to burst into an angry monsoon of jealousy, when the sight of his empty receptionist desk stopped you in your spot. Her things, gone. A baron desk with no sign of a girl simply gone for the evening greeted you.

He'd fired her.

Suddenly, the anger you'd had bubbling in your stomach faded. Replaced with that sinking feeling of guilt. He always seemed to know what was bothering you, even before you talked to him about it. Which was just another one of the many reasons you loved him so much.

You sighed, your shoulders slumped, as your hand laid on the doorknob, knowing he was going to be upset with you. It took everything in you to swing open the door to his office exactly at 7 on the dot. Not a minute early but not daring to be late after your little show of ignoring him earlier.

His stiff demeanor screamed you were in trouble as you shut the door behind you. You swallowed thickly, heels clicking hesitantly against his floor as you made your way to his desk. Your fingers skimming the dark oak wood as you moved around to stand in front of him. Your bottom lip tucked between your teeth as you glanced down to see he hadn't moved a muscle.

No words had been spoken through the tense air. No sound dared to come from you. You knew better, knew how upset he got when you ignored him. So you stood, perfectly still in front of where he sat, your sight hyper focused on the scratch marks on his desk instead of his intense eyes.

You'd have to be easier on this desk in the future but you had a feeling today wasn't going to be the day.

"Got somethin' to say fo' yehself?" His voice was hard, leaving no room for your shit tonight. You swallowed the nervous lump in your throat as your eyes finally met his. They were colder than you'd ever seen before.

Usually, when you acted out, he found a bit of humor in it. Teasing you about being nothing but a brat but always letting you know he wasn't going to put up with it. He always went easy on you and honestly, you were a good girl. You almost never broke the rules and when you did, it was something trivial.

You were never one to get in trouble on purpose, at least not with him.

"I'm sorry I ignored your call." You tried to say in the least shaky voice you could manage.

He hummed, acknowledging your words but not accepting your apology. Those dagger like green eyes burned through your body, directly into your soul as his thumb twisted his gold ring on his pointer finger.

"Anythin' else y'need to tell me?" He asked as he raised from his chair. His large chest mere centimeters away from your face as you stood your ground, literally.

"No?" Your eyebrows scrunched as you peered up to him. Utterly confused on why he was so pissed at you.

The sharp stone like features of his face didn't help settle the racing thoughts in your mind. That cold chill that ran down your spine as his lips pressed into a hard line. The back of his hand as it skimmed across the highs of your cheek bone was the only feeling of warmth in the otherwise frigid room.

"Know why I got y'this?" His finger ran across the pink leather of your choker collar, across the gold "H" that was embedded in the middle.

Your big doe-eyes flashed up to him. You didn't sway an inch as his fingers laced through the ring that dangled at the bottom of your choker. His grip was firm around the cool metal. His hold kept in place as he stared down at you.

"Because I'm yours." Your eyebrows furrowed together as you looked at him, not having a clue as to why he needed to remind you.

You gasped as he tugged you forward by your lead. Your feet barely stayed in their spot on the ground as your hands grasped around his arms for balance.

"And do you think I like what's mine flirting in the elevator with my employees?" His words shocked you, stuttering, spits of partial words fell from your mouth as you gaped up at him. "Think I didn't see?"

"Harry, I wasn't flirting with him." You tried to explain away the situation. It was simple, a misunderstanding. "He helped me when I-"

"Did I say y'could use my name?" He practically growled through clenched teeth. Your eyes widened as you stared up at him. Boy, were you in trouble.

"No, daddy." Your voice was soft, eyes all dewy as you stared up at him. A show, really, you loved when he got like this. That familiar ache already growing in your core as he dropped the lead on your collar. You quickly stood back up in your place, hands by your side as he stalked around you.

A hunter watching his prey.

"What's y'word?" He asked as he circled back in front of you. His suit jacket was abandoned over the back of the chair. Ringed finger hands loosening his tie around his neck.

"Peony." Your tongue wet your lips as he rolled up his sleeves in front of you. The crisp white linen of his shirt sleeves being rolled up was only a slight distraction from the nod of his head.

"And your hard no's?"

He wasn't fucking around. You considered it for a second, all the things you two had previously taken off the table.

"Still the same." You told him, knowing that this meant he was really going to push you tonight.

He studied you for a second longer. His head dipping down to catch your line of vision, eyebrows raised as if he was mentally asking you the same question again.

"Good." He said when you gave a nod of your head. "Strip."

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself. Your hands shook by your side as you clenched and unclenched your fist, once, twice, three times. Just enough to get you in your head space.

The skin on your arms raised in goosebumps as the warm fur lined jacket slid off your shoulders and onto the floor. A pile of useless fabric pulled into a puddle at your feet. Your slip of a dress followed directly after it.

A scoff of a laugh came from him, a shake of his head as he turned away from you. Long, silent, steps over to a much-needed drink from the bar cart in his office. Your eyes lowered to the floor, watching the pacing of his shoes. Ears zeroed into the sound of liquid pouring, a deep gulp, and then more pouring. That lump in your throat grew with every slap of his heel back in front of you.

Of course you had to pick today to be defiant.

"It's like y'wanna be in trouble, baby." He hummed and you swore if you looked at him right now he'd be wearing that smug little smirk.

"Pretty." He mumbled, his fingers dancing across the lacy top of the underwear you'd slipped on when you got home. "Too bad yeh not 'posed to be wearin' 'em."

"Off." He snapped his fingers in front of your heated face. At least he wasn't ripping this pair.

The stringy lace slid down your silky smooth legs. Each high heeled foot stepping out of the leg holes one at a time. Shaky hands handing over the garment you put on in a moment of anger.

Your eyes refused to meet his as he slid the panties into his back pocket. Your lips rolled into your mouth as he stared at you. The heat in your body raised with each passing second as he finished his drink.

God, you'd never been in this much trouble.

"Y'know I was gonna take it a little easy on yeh." His words and the sound of the glass being sat down snapped you out of your fixed trance on the floor. His shiny black shoes disappeared from your line of sight as he circled around you. "Figured my baby girl jus' got protective over her daddy."

His hand ran down your cheek from behind you. Your head instinctively nuzzled into the few fingers that trailed from your jawline to your lips. Chaste kisses pressed to his fingertips.

"But now, I see you need a good lesson on who makes the rules." You gasped when his hand clamped around the front of your neck, your head snapped back roughly against his shoulder. His fingers digging into the side of your neck made you whimpered, a low stirring in your stomach.

His hand released you only long enough to loosen his tie. The fabric you once gifted him for his birthday dug into the skin of your forearms and wrists behind your back. The restraint, a little tighter than usual, not enough to hurt but enough to let you know this wasn't some usual punishment.

"Bend." He said with a tight grip on the tie that held your arms in an uncomfortable position behind you. Your body maneuvered by him until your hips hit the edge of his desk. You gasped as your bare chest was pushed against the cold wood. Your nipples peaked from the sudden ice like material that you now laid halfway over. His hand finally left the intricate knots holding your arms back when your cheek rested on the table top.

"Looks like y'know how to listen when it comes to this." You could imagine his eyes rolling as he stood behind you. His hand ran down your ass, to the plug he'd placed there this morning. A quick tug on the pink silicone drew a whimper from you, your legs shifting back and forth in their spot.

Harry had to hold back a groan as he watched your hips sway. His hand gripped his twitching cock that throbbed in his pants at the sight of your pretty wet pussy already soaking for him. A smirk spread across his lips, his hand gripping the flesh of your round ass again.

His perfect little baby girl was such a whore for him.

Fuck, you were perfect.

"Thinkin' three fo' 'ry rule yeh broke today." His accent somehow thickened the more turned on he got. That heat burned in your stomach that turned in anticipation and a bit of nerves.

"Y-yes, daddy." Your voice betrayed you with shaky cracks.

The room quickly quieted again after his hum of approval. His hand left your ass, left you completely. Silence had you straining your ears for any hint of a sound when you heard it.

That familiar clink of a sound.

You buried your head into the smooth surface of the table, lips pressed against the wood to hide the moan that wanted to slip past your lips. Your core clenched around nothing but air, not sure how this was anywhere close to a punishment when you constantly had to beg him to be this rough with you.

You gasped as the cool leather of his belt ran down the strain muscles of your back. Tauntingly slow as it passed over the fabric of the tie, dancing across your fingers.

"What're in trouble fo'?" He asked from behind you, your lips that had been tightly clamped between your teeth unrolled, just enough to talk.

"Not answering your call, wearing underwear, using your name, and-" you sighed, "Touching another guy." You finally spit out, not wanting to add anymore lashings to your ever growing amount.

"Hm, think'll add three more fo' that one." His voice was hard and cold through the air around you. "Better hear yeh count, sweetheart."

He gave no warning other than that. The sound of the leather slicing through the thickened air in the office was your only clue of what was coming. The sharp snap of the hide hitting the soft flesh of your ass rang through your ears before you felt the sting.

"One." You spoke into the wood. Your nose flat against the desk, hands tightening around your restraint as the shockwaves of a dull pain ran down your spine, directly to your steadily wettening folds.

Two, three, four, more and the spark of a pleasure still burned, lingered down into a blazing river of red marks across your ass cheeks to your pulsating pussy.

"T-t-ten." Your words choked and contracted in your throat when the belt smacked across your ass, five more left and you were determined to make it through. The grunts and groans that rolled from deep in his chest as the leather dug into your flesh again and again. Whimpering sobs, face flushed with tears and mascara as he went harder on you than ever before.

And that fucking plug you decided to keep in.

You were teetering on the brink of your headspace when the final smack came. Your breast smashed against the now warmed surface with the force. You cried, pushed forward into that floating sensation of the deep part of your mind as you were lifted by your restraints. Body maneuvered until you kneeled before him, heels haphazardly kicked off in the motion downwards to the ground.

The searing skin of your ass cooled against the marble floor when your shaky legs gave out to the weight on them. You sighed from the little bit of relief you got, stuffy nose from crying so much, desperately trying to suck air into your lungs. You were too wrapped up in yourself to hear the clank of the belt hitting the floor.

Your foggy mind lifted out of the deep when you felt his hand around the back of your neck, his cold features barely broke through your vision that was clouded with tears.

"What do y'say, baby?" His hand tightened in the hairs at the back of your head. A hard jerk backwards had you gasping in surprise.

You were far from being done with your punishment.

"Thank you, daddy." Your voice cracked from the amount of tears you were holding back. The words you'd spoken did nothing to change his unimpressed facial features, his tongue slid across his front teeth as he studied your mess of mascara and eyeliner.

He stood up abruptly, his hand didn't leave the back of your neck, sufficiently holding you up from your ass resting on the cool tile.

"Yeh know, darlin', daddy doesn't punish yeh as much as he should. That's on me more than yeh. Should've put yeh in y'place more often, sweetheart."

Your eyes widened up to him. Whatever shred Harry always kept of himself while he was in this role was abandoned. No, now, he was fully in his dominant role. The waves of demand rolled through every part of him. His voice, his demeanor, his words.

"That's okay though, baby, gonna learn who yeh belong to. Isn't that right?" He practically cooed at you. A mock tone that made your face heat as blood rushed to your face.

"Yes, daddy." Your chest seemed to heave with anticipation.

"Open." He said as his hand clamped your mouth open for you. Your obedient tongue sticking out for him before you even had a chance to think twice about it.

Harry hummed as he stared down at you. The hand that was around your jaw slipped into your open mouth. His finger fucked into your open and waiting throating. Your legs tightened together as his smirk grew wider at your movement.

Sure, you weren’t supposed to move but God, you always wanted it so bad he couldn't help the turning of his lips.

He lowered himself to your level. No words were said as he loosened your restraints. The fabric that held your arms back finally, finally, was gone. Your body slacked forward as Harry backed away from you. His towering form loomed over you as your hands fell forward to hold yourself up.

The strain on your muscles in the back seemed to lift only momentarily before he guided you upwards by your upper arm. Your back on the now warmed surface of the desk, your head hanging off the side, your freed hands clutched beside you as your anticipation for what was coming grew.

"Gonna show me how sorry yeh are, darlin'." His throbbing cock was finally released from its confinement. The hard, pulsating, tip was red and aching for relief. Only millimeters from your upside-down vision.

Your legs spread wider at the sight of him. Your toes pointed against the smooth oak, your arousal felt like it could have been running in a river down your legs as you licked your lips. Your mouth opened without any demand from him as he stroked his cock in front of you.

"Good girl." He groaned, his hand guided himself into your mouth.

You always had a hard time taking him. He was just so big, so thick. Your tongue pressed against his tip as he slowly rocked into you. His hands grasped onto your breast as his cock slid further and further down your throat.

You moaned around his member that stretched open the sides of your mouth. You tried your best to relax your throat, breathe through your nose.

"Relax yeh throat." He grunted as your throat constructed around him again. The irritated tone in his voice only made your slick folds drip with your arousal.

"I said to relax." He said once your gag reflex halted his movement for a third time. A harsh slap of his hand landed on your open and waiting cunt. You would have yipped at the feeling if you could have. He ceased your moment of being off guard to finally push himself fully inside.

You moaned the best you could as your throat finally relaxed. His balls rested against your nose, the crotch of his pants and zipper rubbed against your face but you didn't care. He felt so good in your mouth.

You heard him let out a moan as you felt your nipples harden. His fingers lazily rubbed at your swollen clit as he slipped down your mouth.

"Why can't yeh be a good girl like this all the time for me, baby?" He asked as his hand held the back of your neck. His hips picking up to a pace that was almost too much for you. "So much fuckin' better for me when yeh jus' a hole for me to fuck."

He pulled out of you suddenly. A string of your spit connected from his red tip to your mouth before he bent down to your level. The look behind his eyes was intoxicating. Fuck, he was enjoying this.

"Gonna have to keep you tied up to my desk, aren't I? Only time yeh good for me if when yeh have a cock stuffed in you."

"I'll be good." You said as he stood back up. His hands gripped your thighs to turn your body around like a rag doll, your ass in the air as your face laid on the desk, again.

"Be good, huh?" He teased his tip against your opening, a deep groan left him from just how fucking wet you were. "Yeh call throwin' yehself at my employees bein' good?"

"I didn't." You pouted, your bottom lip stuck out even though he couldn't see it. His cock parting the folds of your pussy, the thick tip against your sensitive clit had your hips shifting.

You wanted him to stop being mad at you and just fuck you already.

"If I wanted someone else to touch yeh I would have told them to." He started to slip into you, the overwhelming sense of him starting to stretch you already filled you. Blood rushed to your lightheaded head as you restrained yourself from pushing backwards onto him.

"Such a tight cunt." He grunted as the thought from your earlier run in fell from his mind. Your velvet caves pulled him, his anger melted away as you clenched around him.

A hard thrust forward had him directly on your sweet spot, your eyes rolled back in your head as you held on tightly to the front of the desk.

He wasn't messing around and he wasn't holding back.

You could feel his hip bones smacking against the abused flesh of your ass. The sting sent an electric shock through your body as he wrecked you. You could feel him pounding all the way into your lower stomach as your jaw unhinged from a sea of moans.

"Think he could fuck yeh better, sweetheart?" Harry asked as he pulled on the plug in between your cheeks. His cock rammed into you as the silicone slipped out.

"No." You finally managed to get out an answer through your moans, your wrecked vocal cords cracked until he let up. You almost turned around but you knew better, the sound of his bottom draw opening gave away his next move.

You two needed to fuck at his office less. He had way too much sex shit laying around here.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the cold gel of his lube coated fingers slipping into your tighter hole. Your breath caught in your throat as he slid back inside of your pussy. Your eyebrows furrowed together from the overwhelming sense of pleasure that pulsed through your veins.

"Such a slut, know that?" He spoke as a second finger joined his first one, fucking you open enough to take him. "Lemme fuck yeh in ever hole in my office."

"Fuck." You moaned into the wood, your hands gripped around the front edge of the desk as he pulled himself out of you, a generous amount of lube slathered across your hole before he put some on himself.

He took a second just admiring your wrecked state. Your pussy opened wide for him, able to be fucked so easily now that he'd destroyed it. Your ass shined red with lash marks, your hair a complete mess.

He had to stop himself from shooting a load into his own hand. His thoughts getting the best of him as he stroked himself from behind you. His tip pressed into you slowly as he waited for your muscles to relax.

You felt like you could have bit your bottom lip off from how tightly it was tucked under your teeth. Your nails dug into the desk as he pushed further into you, his head finally getting past your tight ring. His hips laid flat against your ass, his hands pulled back each cheek to get a good look at himself stretching you out.

"Gonna ruin you for anyone else. Y'understand?" He mumbled into your ear as he pulled up to his chest by the front of your neck.

"Yes, daddy." You squeaked out as he finally moved his hips. His head rested against your shoulder as you let out a sound you never wanted to admit to making. His cock hit all the right places, the stretch wasn't painful but you were so tight there you could feel every one of his veins pushing against your walls.

You felt so full of him it was almost overwhelming. You could feel every throbbing jump of his cock as he pumped in and out of you. His grunts as his teeth dug into your shoulder, his fingers from his free hand swirled around your clit while his other one squeezed the sides of your neck.

Your arousal slicked all the way down to your shaky knees as your body bounced against his cock. You panted out moans as your body burned red hot. Your orgasm was just on the horizon, so close you could hardly keep your eyes open.

"Gonna cum with daddy's cock in yeh ass?" He asked even though you had no idea how he managed to put together words in this moment. Your own mind wasn't able to let you do anything more than nod.

"Cum for me then, pet." His finger pressed down harder on your clit, cock shoved deeper inside of you.

Your vision blacked around the edges, body shook, your high washed over your head all the way down to your toes. The sound of your moans carried through the office, down the halls of the almost emptied building. Your mind barely had time to put together the fact he'd pulled out of you.

Until he slammed back into your cunt.

A warmth filled you as you whimpered, your body slacked in his arms as his cum dripped out around himself.

"I gotcha." He mumbled as he moved you both into his office chair. Your makeup smudged face pressed into his chest as you came down from your high. His hand ran across your back in soothing circles.

"Baby, yeh did so good." He said into your hair, his lips pressed in light kisses against your scalp. "Such a good girl. Made me feel so good, baby."

"Gonna take yeh home and get yeh a bath, hm?" He asked when your body felt less limp. You hummed your agreement, head still in that floating space for a second.

"Harry, you know I didn't flirt with him, right?" You asked after a moment. Your fingers danced across his bicep absentmindedly.

"Yeah, jus' like yeh know I didn't sleep with my secretary." He let out a chuckle when you raised your head to pout at him. "Gave me a good reason to fuck yeh like that though."

"Shut up." You muttered to him. Your eyes rolled as he gave you a stern look.

"Pup, I jus' fucked yeh into next week, do not start with me again."

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x you #Harry Styles x Y/N #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Harry Styles Smut #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Writing #Mine #One Shot

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jellyluchi · 3 years

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La Squadra x Gamer!Reader + spice

A/N: I’m not much of a gamer but I have been playing a few video games lately that gave me this idea. Edit: this was drafted mooonths ago when I was still playing Hades which I haven’t touched in a hot minute...

— Genre: nsfw, minors DNI

— Warnings: suggestive content, mentions of oral, fingering

Risotto

Tries to understand and play some of your video games if you decide to teach him, depending on the type of game he’s either really good or he sucks

Prefers to watch you play in either complete silence or let you talk and explain what the game is about

might ask you questions here and there because he’s a good boyfriend who takes interest in his partner’s fav hobbies!

enjoys relaxing decorative games or puzzle games the most. Also horror for aesthetics and good stories.

depending on whether he can tell if you’re in the mood (and yes he can tell) might tease you as you play

it starts with very light touches while you’re concentrating on the game and before you can even tell somehow you’re squirming!

very good at being stealthy when it comes to teasing his partners physically

might even use metallica to heighten your experience! your game is soon forgotten and you can’t remember if you beat the level or not

Prosciutto

Most likely to have you already on his lap when you’re playing if it’s his day off and he’s relaxing

a grandpa who won’t even try your video games unless you can somehow convince him with like.... a 45 slide power point on why he’d enjoy it, otherwise it’s just not to his taste

however, in the occasion that you do convince him, it’s truly a sight to see! This man is as intensely competitive as he is shit at games LOL (running in an fps looking at the ground with no camera control rip)

prone to giving up very fast unless you really walk him through it! Even then might not enjoy it unless it’s an interesting story or concept

will be more partial to games that tackle ethics and morals or are darker themed

But his favorite game is teasing you, you’re already on his lap and he loves giving you cuddles and if your having fun with your game why can’t he have fun with his?

It will be such a sensual and soothing experiencing you won’t realize when it even began before you’re panting a bit.

The best outcome is when you willingly leave your video games to go play with him instead

Pesci

Not big on gaming on his own but enjoys them very much when he plays, loves it if you invite him to play something!

Enjoys building and open world exploring type games the most (especially if the latter has some sort of fishing mini-game)

He likes to be creative with his building or wants to get immersed in some fantastical story

Is also chill with listening to you explain your games to him if he’s unfamiliar and loves watching you play

Now if you want some ‘video games and chill’ type situation you might have to be the one to initiate.

Whether it’s hinting at it verbally or physically he would need that confirmation

But once he knows what you want he’s not afraid to support you under the desk if you know what I mean.

Likes to hear your moans overpowering the video game music because it lets him know he’s doing a good job

Formaggio

He’s already your video game buddy most likely, and he gets playfully competitive to boot

Likes FPS the most, especially if it’s multiplayer because that means he can go against you and keep score who got most kills

But if it’s a story based game he’ll goof off and sabotage missions on purpose to see how he can mess with the game (gfx, mechanics etc.)

Also just generally a fan of shooting things in game because it’s satisfying plus he has really good aim wit all his practice

when he’s not in the mood to play he’ll comment on your gaming and get close to rub your thighs slowly

if you don’t get the hint he’ll get bolder with his touches until they’re on your ass and interrupting your concentration

likes when you get frustrated from his touches and considers it a victory if you drop your game to make out with him

Likes to make bets like ‘if you score ___ I’ll dive between your legs’

Melone

Not partial to gaming but definitely has gaming experience, mostly with rhythm games rather than traditional console or PC ones

He really likes to know the details of games from you and can listen to you for hours explaining your favorite parts

Gets into Sci-fi games the most, he loves the world building and the creative fictional technology that they come up with esp for space travel

His skills with the computer didn’t give him much gaming skills but it did allow him to get used to the controls quickly and he gets better with time

Touching you is something he’d rather do, even if its got an interesting concept because nothing is better than seeing you try to fight your moans

If you’re concentrated in gaming or explaining something he won’t interrupt you, but will invade your personal space till you get the hint

If you don’t, he will only inch closer till he’s touching you, first in innocent spots but eventually between your legs or your chest

Loves giving oral during gaming sessions, if you need support under the table he’s your man

Illuso

Never been much of a gamer but he loves to watch you play, especially when you get riled up. He’ll make lots of teasing comments about your gameplay to make you angry or irritated on purpose

He pretends to look down on your gaming skills only because he knows the anger fuels your hormones

He gets bored quick when asked to play, is more into the avatar making section of the game than the actual game

The type to run around in game going through the surrounding talking to random NPCs than actually playing

His boredom from the games usually leads to other ideas, abandoning his console he, very sneakily, gets behind you. Like a snake he’s quickly wrapped around your body before you realize

You would only notice when he’s making quick work of your clothes, he’ll stop if you ask but if not, and usually you don’t, he’ll tease your inner thighs

Doesn’t really putting his fingers between your legs unless you give him your undivided attention. If you whine, he just asks you what you want (may or may not give it to you depending on his mood)

His goal is to make you sexually frustrated enough to abandon the game and let him finger you instead

Ghiaccio

A competitive gamer himself, you may find yourself actually challenged when playing with him. More likely to play FPS than the rest.

He’s definitely vocal and focused when playing, comments on your every little move like you’re making the worst decision of your life

Thinks bets are stupid (because he’s gonna win, obviously right?) and accept whatever challenge you throw at him

Is super smug if he wins, but if he loses and you make him do something he hates he’ll be a sore loser and curse up a storm saying he’ll get you back for it

Ghiaccio takes things at face value, he’s not going to think you’re here to fuck unless you actually say so (in which case he goes very red not realizing your intentions)

If he’s particularly pent up though, he will wonder about the possibility of but won’t initiate it, you really have to be the one to rile him up well

if you play your cards right, that is, letting him win, handling his attitude about it, getting him flustered enough, he will be open to letting you sucking him off, courtesy of winning the game

the other much more fun route would be to win against him, tease him to hell and back and just saying “shut up and fuck me” in which case he will be more than happy to oblige after the stunt you pulled when playing

Sorbet & Gelato

These two are actually pretty accustomed to old consoles such as the n64, having had grown up during it’s time however you will still have to help them navigate any gaming interface properly

Most likely not used to PC gaming just yet but it’s terribly fun to have them watch especially if you’re playing horror and Gelato delights in the jumpscares while Sorbet really has no reaction

Very much likes the morbid games psychological horrors with gore, their favorite characters are always the unhinged ones

They’re both prone to comment if they’re playing themselves and it’s fun to watch as they’re barely phased by the atmosphere or general horrors of the game

Neither of them have much fun just observing you play your game, it’s more likely Gelato will get bored and whisper something lewd into Sorbet’s ear who smirks and they move into action

The plan is simple, they just want to see you squirm, won’t it be so much more fun to play if you’re taking Gelato from behind while Sorbet goes down your throat?

Sure, in that case you’d be in no position to play by yourself but in perfect position for them to play with their little plaything

they’re really not much for subtlety and two of them and one of you, it doesn’t take much convincing nor man power to get you on your knees.

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jamaisjoons · 4 years

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the summer bucketlist | m.list

When the weather sees the return of sunshine and warmth, the joy and exuberance of summer is revived, and everyone rushes to enjoy the season to the fullest. Bonfire nights with your friends, seeing brilliant firework displays or laying under the stars on a humid night and watching the world go by. Learning to surf, or dive or snorkel or simply collecting seashells along the shore. Late nights at the amusement parks, thrilling roller-coaster rides or spectacular views on the Ferris Wheel. Skinny dipping in a lake after dark, attending a film or music festival, or even just visiting the popup street market in your city. Everything you had been dreaming off since the start of autumn, you can do once again. And who better to do it with, than the boys who bring more joy and warmth to our lives than summer itself?

Welcome to ‘The Summer Bucketlist’ - a writing event/author collab hosted by @jamaisjoons

The Summer Bucketlist: BTS Edition - is an event in which various different authors can sign up to write a story based on traditional Bucketlist Items. Find their stories below!

⟶ song of the sea; knj ⇥ @jamaisjoons ➳ fantasy au. little mermaid au. ↳ ⎡Take a Trip to the Museum⎦

« Captivated by the sight of you, he can’t help but watch you swim around his home. And when you turn to leave, he doesn’t know what overcomes him - but as if spellbound - he finds himself following you back to land. »

⟶ molotov cocktail; jhs ⇥ @yeoldontknow ➳ bartender au. arranged marriage au. ↳ ⎡Take a Cocktail Class⎦

« You met him January, on a night when you were newly single and newly wanting to break free from your father’s unyielding control. You left him in January, full of regret but full of purpose. You meet him again in July, and now you want nothing more than to run to the ends of the earth with him, to burn down the shape your life has taken in the hope of making something new. »

⟶ luminous; pjm ⇥ @luffles424 ➳ summer festival au. tentacle monster au. ↳ ⎡Watch Fireworks⎦

« The Busan summer festival is your favorite event of the year. You like all the food and things to do, but your favorite part is watching the fireworks at the end of the night, gathered with friends and family. It’s fun and joyous. Except this year you’re spending it without them. So you find a secluded spot on the beach to watch alone. Except... you might not be as alone as you thought you were out here. »

⟶ sticky situation; kth ⇥ @jiminsfault ➳ camping au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go Camping⎦

« You hate camping, but Taehyung is determined on changing your mind on that. »

⟶ pull me in; jhs ⇥ @guccybangtan ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go to a Water Park⎦

« In the heat of the summer, there's nothing more relaxing than relaxing than a nice trip to the water park. »

⟶ a beautiful epiphany; jjk ⇥ @onherwings ➳ friends to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Join an Art Contest⎦

« Who would have thought that falling in love with your muse could either lead to something beautiful or bring you to your own demise? »

⟶ love grows where you go; myg ⇥ @rookiegukie ➳ arranged marriage au. pining au. ↳ ⎡Watch the Sunset on the Beach⎦

« Determined to make you and Yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. You know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you're positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don't find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. That is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned. »

⟶ petrichor; pjm ⇥ @taetaewonderland ➳ strangers to lovers au. domestic au. ↳ ⎡Go on a Picnic⎦

« There are smells in the world that can trigger your brain to think of a memory almost in an instant. »

⟶ sun cockblock; myg ⇥ @cremeandsuga ➳ best friends to lovers au. summer au. ↳ ⎡Join a Sandcastle Building Competition⎦

« Cancún was always a trip to remember - sun, beaches, hookups and day drinking, not to mention the annual sand castle competition you entered with your best friend every year. Yoongi smells like Copper Tone sunblock and heaven. Entering a sandcastle competition with one of the least competitive people in the world was pure agony — but it didn’t dawn to you that your best friend wasn’t competitive because he was confident he would win. Upon your loss, he sees you trying to soothe the burn of it (and the sun) with the beach bartender. He may smell like Copper Tone sunblock and heaven, but he’s sure you feel like heaven. »

⟶ rejuvenation; myg & jhs ⇥ @caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma ➳ spa owners au. ↳ ⎡Treat Yourself to a Spa Day⎦

« You finally get a break from work and you decide to indulge in a little pampering and self-care. During lunch, your friend slips a card into your hand for an exclusive spa with a special referral discount. How can you resist? Let’s hope the Bangtan Blossoms Spa provides the relaxation & rejuvenation experience you desperately seek. »

⟶ just a taste; kth ⇥ @xjoonchildx ➳ pwp au. ↳ ⎡Go Wine Tasting⎦

« He’s hot. he’s considerate. He’s refusing to make a move. weeks of sexual frustration come to a head at a wine tasting and -- this is going to shock NO ONE -- smut ensues. »

⟶ lollipop; myg ⇥ @ironicarmy ➳ neighbours to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Attempt to make Ice Cream⎦

« It’s a hot summer day, he’s desperate, and your ice lollies taste like heaven. »

⟶ carnival lights; kth ⇥ @taephilia ➳ haunted carnival au. horror au. ↳ ⎡Visit a Carnival⎦

« With half of your friend group graduated and leaving your hometown to move to the city for work, you and your friends decide to have one last adventure together (in the words of hobi even though it’s only may and you see each other like every day). But things are always different in the nighttime and you never know what’s lurking between the funnel cakes. »

⟶ midnight menagerie; knj ⇥ @jooneggs ➳ friends to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Go to a Botanical Garden⎦

« Like water, cradling your fragile soul, Namjoon has held the lily of your heart all your life and you wish you could let him know just how much that means to you. Coincidentally, it just so happens you can: in a week's time when you're stuck in the holiday of your life at Namjoon's father's Botanical gardens. Will you finally get to repay him in a bed of roses or will he be the one to make the bouquet for you? »

⟶ ferris drink; jhs ⇥ @salvejoon ➳ pwp au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Ride a Ferris Wheel⎦

« Your boyfriend has a bucket list of places he wants to do the nasty and next up is a Ferris Wheel. »

⟶ hose wars; ksj & myg ⇥ @babybinnyboy ➳ neighbour au. ↳ ⎡Have a Water Fight⎦

« Spending a summer in a little coastal town was supposed to be relaxing. It wasn't supposed to include a broken AC unit, record break heatwave, a hose, 2 ridiculously confident, attractive neighbors with an annoyingly low fence. »

⟶ cut shot; myg ⇥ @kimtaehyunq ➳ vacation au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Learn to Volleyball⎦

« He hates the water, he hates the heat, and he hates the Sun. Any form of physical activity is a big no-no, yet Min Yoongi will go out of his way to show that he loves you on your mini vacation. »

⟶ eternal summer; pjm ⇥ @aiimaginesbts ➳ childhood friends to lovers au. vacation au. ↳ ⎡Go Sightseeing on Vacation⎦

« Breaking up with my boyfriend leaves an empty spot on the overseas vacation that I had been looking forward to for a long time. I’m torn between abandoning the trip or going it solo when someone offers to tag along. However, having Jimin, my best friend go with me may not be the best idea — since my crush on him has never gone away. »

⟶ sway with me; knj & jhs ⇥ @minjoonalist ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Take a Boat Ride⎦

« You love celebrating your anniversary, it was the only special part about summer that you looked forward to every year- But when your husband Is unable to make the availability due to his job- You thought why not make the best of it? »

⟶ ecstatic shock; jhs ⇥ @iluvstrawberry ➳ strangers to lovers au. abo au. ↳ ⎡Host a BBQ⎦

« The garden party your parents throw every year is coming up. Seeing your conservative parents, is something you definitely don’t want to face on your own. But with all your friends being busy, you’ve decided to accept your fate and drown your sorrows at your favourite bar. Enter: Jung Hoseok, bartender, lifesaver and the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever seen. »

⟶ kaleidoscopic; knj ⇥ @boywivlove ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go Paintballing⎦

« You and Namjoon decide to blow off some steam and go to a paint balling range, one multicoloured blitzkrieg later; bruised, sweaty and victorious you celebrate your win. »

⟶ undercurrent; jjk ⇥ @jjungkooksthighs ➳ best friends to lovers au. post college au. ↳ ⎡Go Diving⎦

« After a year and six months of sea fare and many more nights of sunken eyes that had been dotted with the black shadings of sleeplessness that you’d helped to nurse him because of, the fruits of your best friend’s efforts had earned him the completion of his mission to map the entire eastern seaboard. In all his work, though, Jungkook has not gotten the chance to dive at many of the areas scattered around the ocean in the vastness of the seas. You decide to take him to a previously unmarked, unmapped sector of the sea after following his own nautical charts. The catch is this: you’re afraid of the water. What happens when you find yourself following after him and into the arms of the sea after years of pent up sexual frustration that you blame entirely on him? »

a/n: this is incredibly late but onefgeoingoeitng i hope you enjoy reading all of these works! If you participated in the collab but your fic isn’t on here, it’s because it hasn’t appeared in the tags! please feel free to DM with the link to the fic!!

#jamaisjoons summer collab #tsb 2020 collab #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #namjoon smut #seokjin smut #yoongi smut #hoseok smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut #jungkook smut

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 4 years

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THE BOX IS NABOO

That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m writing that stupid meta I’ve had in the works for two and a half years, I’m sharing it with the world. I promised it for last Thursday, my poll was forever ago, but whatever! I’m writing that freaking thing.

(super duper long post, press j to skip)

Enter my rabbit hole.

First thing to establish: the Box makes no sense whatsoever in-universe.

((EDIT: Something I forgot to mention. IRL, the premise of a giant murder cube and the aesthetic - wall patterns, light designs, etc - of the episode come from the 1997 horror movie Cube, (see the episode’s wookieepedia page). However, while the two are very closely linked visually, the Box does not follow the movie structurally or narratively, as you can verify by simply reading the movie’s summary.))

Recap of the context for the "Box" episode (s4e17): Palpatine is planning his own kidnapping. It was never meant to succeed, and while the plan would obviously benefit him (making the Jedi look bad, pushing Anakin closer to the Dark Side, making Republic citizens more afraid -> more docile, etc...) his actual goal is never explained, and it’s weird that he’d go to such extreme lengths for results so minimal that we’re never told what they are.

So Palpatine asks Dooku to kidnap him at the Festival of Lights on Naboo. Dooku hires Moralo Eval to design a giant box-thingy to test bounty hunters to hire the best of them to kidnap Palpatine. Moralo then gets arrested to alert the Republic that something is afoot, and hires Cad Bane to break him out. Obi-Wan - undercover to learn Moralo’s plan - goes with them. They evade capture and go to Serenno, and Bane and Obi-Wan have to pass the box-thingy test. The level of brainkarked logic here... Truly on par with Megamind, Gru and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Setting aside the insane plot holes and utterly nonsensical behavior of the villains, the Box itself is moronic from a plot perspective. It’s insanely complex, obviously incredibly expensive and would have taken months (more like years but it’s a short war) to make when it’s not even needed for the dastardly plot! Just hire some guys who have already proven themselves against Jedi! Throw cash at Bane and Embo and a few others! Maybe attack them with your saber and see how they do!

And after all that, Dooku still ends up trying to kidnap Palpatine on his own. I can’t even...

So why does the Box exist? Well, apart from being a nerdy callback to Cube, giving us a good thrill and being generally awesome to look at, it has actual narrative purpose within the SW universe.

The box is Naboo.

What the Box lacks in plot relevance, it makes up for with its heavily symbolic meaning. It very closely follows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s experiences on Naboo - but only certain parts, which I’ll explain later.

We start with clean, sterile environments, SW’s favored way of showing villainy.

Then we have the protagonists locked in a room as dioxis, a poison gas, pours in.

And then they escape... this way.

(Okay, here the shaft is down, not up. And it’s not a ventilation shaft per say, it’s the designed escape route. Same difference).

We then skip most of TPM (namely, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon discovering the droid army, finding Padmé, leaving Naboo, landing on Tatooine, going to Coruscant, etc, etc) to come back to Naboo and go directly to the lightsabers and catwalks.

(Note: in both scenes, Obi-Wan has to propel himself from a catwalk.)

In TPM and TCW, the catwalks are immediately followed by ray shields

And we finally end with the last scenes. Now, they don’t look the same but they are structurally identical.

Obi-Wan is faced with a challenge unsuited for his abilities (facing Darth Maul // shooting three moving targets when he’s far more skilled with a blade than a blaster) on a narrow space above a melting pit/pit of fire.

He first watches someone die failing to complete the task...

... and has to do it himself, faring much better than expected (holding his own against Maul // shooting all the targets easily).

He then almost falls to his death and gets saved unexpectedly.

And then there’s the final showdown.

In both scenes, Obi-Wan is angry. And in TCW Dooku eggs him on, banking on his anger. (More on that later.) In both cases though, he centers himself and is able to overcome both his opponent and his own unbalance. But in TCW, he doesn’t go for the kill, because he doesn’t need to.

The Box, as a literal character-explorator ex-machina, thus shows us Obi-Wan’s growth.

In TPM, Obi-Wan follows Qui-Gon’s lead. In TCW, he is the leader. He identifies the gas, makes the plans. He doesn’t fall from catwalks anymore - he runs atop moving ones. He doesn’t stay stuck behind ray-shields, he finds the solution. (Btw, how did Moralo know what blood type Derrown the Exterminator was? There was a 50% chance of him dying - thus killing all of the bounty hunters. Was that an acceptable outcome? TCW I need answers!) He doesn’t slay his foes, because he’s become powerful enough, skilled enough and wise enough to survive (and win) without needing to kill.

He’s grown - and, even more interestingly, he’s also stayed the same. In the previous episodes, we see some of the dark aspects of Obi-Wan. How he - like all Force-wielders, all people - could lose himself if he stopped maintaining absolute control.

But in the Box, surrounded by the worst criminals of the Galaxy, the most ruthless, worthless people, he’s still kind and tries his best to keep them alive.

The Box is a reminder and a reassurance for the audience that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still there under Rako’s face. He hasn’t lost his compassion, his restrain. He’s still a Jedi. And he’s an awesome, badass one.

And now, for what it tells us about Dooku!

It’s much shorter, don’t worry. Basically, Dooku considers that the best way to pick “the best of the best” of the deadliest people in the Galaxy is making them go through what killed his Padawan. There, I’ve broken your hearts, you’re welcome.

More seriously, Dooku is a manipulative ass. It’s pretty clear that he knows Rako is Obi-Wan, or at the very least suspects it.

He has an interesting reaction upon learning Rako’s identity, he keeps praising him despite his usual distaste for low-lifes, he smirks secretively after Eval says “I’ll show you who’s weak” (not included there because it’s a close-up of Dooku’s lips and no one wants to see that) and he tells Rako he’s very disappointed when he doesn’t finish off Eval.

[Later]

(Look at this smug asshole - I can’t. YOUR GRANDSON IS THE BEST, WE KNOW, STOP ACTIVELY RUINING HIS LIFE ALREADY.)

(Dooku... why...)

Now obviously Dooku couldn’t have made the Box specifically for Obi-Wan, because it would have to have been designed months before the Council ever decided to send Obi-Wan undercover, but he has no qualms trying to use it to push Obi-Wan to the Dark Side. Ffs Dooku, making your spiritual grandson relive one of the most traumatic events of his life on the off chance that he’ll join you (and desecrate his Master’s memory in doing so) is not okay!

Final tidbits of analysis: I mentioned that not all of TPM is mirrored in the Box. What’s omitted is the droids (even though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight B1′s and droidekas between the dioxis and the ventilation shafts) and anything pertaining to Sidious (all the political stuff on Coruscant). You’ll also note that the fake lightsabers are orange.

=> The Box distances itself from anything that connects Dooku to Naboo. Red lightsabers are the trademark of the Sith, so they’re not used. The bounty hunters will be facing Jedi, so logically the fake sabers should be green or blue - and yet they’re orange, the color closest to red without being red. It fits with Dooku’s special brand of dishonesty - he always tells bits of the real story but twists them just enough to absolve himself of any fault and to justify his choices.

(”We can destroy the Sith” -> could maybe destroy Sidious with Obi-Wan, but fails to mention he’s a Sith Lord himself; “the Viceroy came to me for help, that’s why I’m attacking the Republic” -> political idealism is a small part of it, but fails to mention he’s Sidious’ underling and is playing the Viceroy like a fiddle; “Qui-Gon would have joined me” -> maybe, still fails to mention he’s working for the man who ordered Qui-Gon’s death; “I told you everything you needed to know” -> debatable, never said that Palps was Sidious; “Sifo-Dyas understood, that’s why he helped me” -> partly true, doesn’t admit to killing Sifo-Dyas right after getting his help)

So we have a twisted version of Naboo, droid-free (as droids are now irrevocably associated with Dooku, even if that wasn’t the case in TPM) and with sabers that aren’t quite red. Keep in mind that Dooku had already fallen by TPM. (We know this because he killed Sifo-Dyas and created the Clone Army - part of Sidious’ plan - when Valorum was still Chancellor, as per the episode The Lost One.) That means Dooku was (in)directly complicit in Qui-Gon’s death. And the Box doesn’t (=refuses to?) acknowledge that.

(Also omitted in the Box are the Gungans and Tatooine. It makes sense, because Dooku probably wouldn’t have the full details regarding those parts of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s missio as they weren’t as public, and would see them as irrelevant if he did. He utterly despises Anakin, and Gungans are the type of people he always dismisses out of hand).

Anyway, that’s my two cents about the Box. To quote Lucas...

“It’s like poetry. It rhymes.”

Thanks to @lethebantroubadour @impossiblybluebox @nonbinarywithaknife @ytoz and @kaitie85386 for voting for this one. Next up is a compilation of the Jedi being casually tactile with each other (because they’re a warm and affectionate culture, dammit).

Also thanks to @laciefuyu for giving me gifs I ended up not using ^^; you rock anyway!

#meta #my meta #the box #deception arc #rako hardeen #rako hardeen arc #naboo #obi-wan kenobi #count dooku #cad bane #moralo eval #darth sidious

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hpcrackficfest · 2 years

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HP Crack!Fic Fest 2022: Submission Info

SUBMISSIONS ARE DUE ON SEPTEMBER 10, 2022. POSTING WILL BEGIN ON SEPTEMBER 24, 2022.

Submission Info

The claiming post can be found here. Claiming is available until September 9, 2022.

All participants must be over the age of 18.

Please remember that this fest is all about crack!fic, so every story submitted must feature at least a hint of that idea. As you can see in the definition I left on our rules post, that idea is pretty broad, haha.

However, I want to be clear: you are in no way required to tag your fic as crack!fic (or any variation), either on AO3 or in your header. Throwing it back to the example of my own questionably cracky work on the rules post, I didn't label it that way, but I do know it can be viewed that way. As long as you are capturing the essence of the fun and fancy-freeness of this fest, you are good to go.

We will absolutely be accepting any written form, as crack!fic does tend to lend itself to so many different things. So poetry, letter!fic, texting!fic. We’re not accepting strictly art, but I think comics and meme!fic, etc., would still fall under “writing” - at least in my opinion. So please keep in mind, anything goes!

There are no minimum or maximum word requirements. Everything must be betaed, proof-read, checked, and edited.

Posting will be anonymous, so please don't give the game away by posting anywhere else, or replying to comments, or hinting on your journal until after reveals. Also, because this is an anonymous fest, the piece you submit must be a complete, stand-alone work and can't be based on any of your other works, prequels, sequels, etc.

All submissions will be hosted on AO3, at the HP Crack!Fic Fest collection. Feel free to check it out, but please only post your submissions there yourself if you are 100% sure you know how. One mistake can make the difference between your fic being posted before its time, so if you find yourself unsure of how to do this in any way, please feel free to send everything to the mod email, and I will take care of it.

Headers with a link back to AO3 will be posted here on Tumblr.

Regardless of whether or not you choose to post your submission yourself on the AO3 collection, you are required to send the following header info to the mod account at [email protected]. In the subject line of your email, please enter your AO3 username and your prompt number. Please also let me know whether or not you have chosen to post your submission to the collection yourself or if you are sending it to me (and of course attach the gdocs or Word file to said email), and include your AO3 username only in the space for Author in the header.

Please use the header below in your email:

Title: Author: Prompt: Rating: Pairing(s): Word Count: Warning(s)/Content: Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended. Summary: Notes:

If your fic requires any html coding - such as italics or bold text - YOU are responsible for making sure that code is in your document. Your mod will NOT be adding any of that in for you. Whether or not the code is included, your submission will be posted as is - so if you want it in there, please make sure to double check before posting/sending in your entry.

And finally, you are required to add the mod account as a co-creator when submitting your work to the AO3 collection. This is for general admin purposes ONLY, and will never be misused on my part as a mod.

Resources

If you don’t have a beta, I always recommend asking in any of the various fanfic writers' groups out there! You can try the oldies but goodies like hp_betas_wanted and hp_betas, but also any one of the many Facebook and Discord groups that have popped up in recent years! (If you need invites/recommendations for any of those, please let me know, I'd be happy to help.) In keeping with the stress free style of this fest, your beta is not necessarily required to be someone official in fandom; if you'd be more comfortable having a friend or family member look everything over, you are welcome to have them do so!

phoenixacid's Basic HTML Guide

hd_writers' handy guide to placing HTML tags in a Word Document

And please utilize potterwords for all the correct spellings that you might need for creatures, characters, or anything else for your creations.

Your mod, @fangqueen

#hpcrackficfest 2022 #2022 claiming #crackfic #harry potter #hp #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfiction

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ryancastleyt · 2 months

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How Dropkick Murphys made the Official St. Patrick's Day Anthem | Dissect DJs - Episode 118

How Dropkick Murphys made the Official St. Patrick's Day Anthem | Dissect DJs - Episode 118 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSsEm3tBOuo The Dissect DJs rock in St. Patty's Day by throwing it back to one of the all-tine Irish rock anthems of our generation with The Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up to Boston". How did this become the official anthem of Boston and St. Patrick's Day? What does the song actually mean and where did the lyrics originally come from? And we tell the stories of our craziest St. Patrick's Day ever. ✅ Subscribe To My Channel For More Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@RyCASTLE/?sub_confirmation=1 ✅ Important Links: 👉 Website: https://ift.tt/ro7W8J0 ✅ Stay Connected With Me: 👉 Instagram: https://ift.tt/7k3HhGZ 👉 TikTok: https://ift.tt/OGKlc2H ============================== ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 👉 Did These Movie Boyfriends Suck? | Dissect DJs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU8bDZWpsm4 👉 Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" Video is more 80s Wild than you Remember | Retro Review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy6ujXvq18k 👉 In Memoriam 2023 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t9iRyXagG4 👉 Everything that Happened in 2023 | Music Video Rewind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5A1dH9zEso ============================= ✅ About Ryan Castle: Hello I am Ryan Castle I dive deep into the heart of classic pop culture on my channel, exploring everything from timeless tunes to iconic TV and film moments. Join me on the Dissect DJs podcast for a lyric-by-lyric breakdown of popular songs, and delve into thought-provoking discussions and nostalgic movie chats. Don't miss my Retro Review series, where I dissect the historical significance and hilariously absurd moments of retro scenes, all through a comedic lens with engaging edits and insightful commentary. 🔔 Subscribe to my channel for more videos: https://www.youtube.com/@RyCASTLE/?sub_confirmation=1 ===================== Rundown: 00:00: I'm Shipping Up to Boston Intro 00:44: Happy St. Patrick's Day! 03:45: Subscribe to the Dissect DJs! 07:50: The Best of the Irish 10:10: The Dropkick Murphys 12:20: I'm Shipping Up to Boston part 2 12:35: Breaking down the lyrics 13:26: I'm Shipping up to Boston part 3 14:00: What does it mean? 14:58: Going to Boston 15:56: Justin's the worst sports fan ever 17:30: I'm Shipping up to Boston part 4 17:50: Boston must get hypde on this 19:00: The legendary folksinger who inspired it 20:28: I'm Shipping up to Boston part 5 20:55: Your craziest St. Patty's Day Story 26:25 I'm Shipping up to Boston part 6 26:50: Slaps and Snaps 29:50: DJing this song 31:10: Run it back 31:45: Outro #DropkickMurphys #ImShippinguptoBoston #Irish #Irishmusic #StPatricksDay #Ireland #StPattysDay #podcast #musicpodcast #music #review #comedy #podcastcomedy #funny #RyanCastle #DJJAG #DissectDJs #Irishanthem #Bostonmusic #rock #rockmusic #2000smusic #2004 #punkrock #Boston #DJs #DJmusic #jam #throwbackjam #throwbackmusic #commentary #funny #IrishSpring #LuckyCharms #Irishparty #StPattysparty #HermosaBeach #podcasters #tiktok #instagram #spotify #youtubepodcast #podcasting #podcasts #fypシ #fy #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #foryourpage #musicreview #musicvideo #videoreaction Disclaimer: We do not accept any liability for any loss or damage which is incurred from you acting or not acting as a result of reading any of our publications. You acknowledge that you use the information we provide at your own risk. Do your own research. Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use © Ryan Castle via Ryan Castle https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_9cPng3hNlthfQ7On3TCg March 12, 2024 at 04:01PM

#musicvideorewind #entertainmentrecap #sportsmoments #tributeicons #popculture #hollywoodchange #classiccinema #musicvideocritiques

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

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Concerning the incredibly far and deep reach of CCP’s propaganda, the narratives the government can spin and call the truth; does ‘the common normal populace’ actually know what’s really going on?

Hello everyone!!! Happy Chinese New Year!!

I’m grouping these asks because if I hear them correctly, they’re all related to this question: how much do people in China know about the atrocities committed by their government, and why don’t they do something about it?

It’s a difficult question, isn’t it? A potentially upsetting one too, just to think about. My answers are more opinion-based, more personal this time. Since there’re no polls about what people know, they have to be based a little more on my own impression, which has more chances of error. Please bear with me and proceed with caution ...

As with people in most countries, what people know is hugely dependent on individuals. Specifically, re: politics, I can think of at least three reasons why people don’t have the facts

1) they have limited access to information 2) they’re being lied to about what they know 3) they’re not interested in current affairs.

1), of course, is what most people think about when it comes to China. You’re right, Anon(s), that VPN use is indeed rampant in the country and is essentially an open secret; there’re no official numbers but surveys have estimated the number of users can be up to 100 million, most of them being youngsters. They use it to do exactly what most of us would imagine: gain access to things they don’t have otherwise. Instagram has been (sporadically?) blocked since 2014 September and so while users may have set up their accounts while being overseas, it’s indeed, (very) possible, that they’ve set up and maintained their account under VPN use.

Wait, you may ask, so you mean the Great Firewall of China doesn’t exist?

That’s exactly the official stance. Not because of private VPN use, but because individuals/companies can apply for a license via their telecommunications company to visit all internet sites. Hence, the government’s claim that the Great Firewall doesn’t exist—you’ll be let through as long as you ask (and we’ll watch your every step)! There are also no explicit laws prohibiting the use of private VPNs; only a handful of arrests associated with private VPN use have been made and only since 2019, and the punishment is considered light—no imprisonment, just fines. It is, in contrast, against the law to *provide* private VPN services, and while companies have been shut down, the crackdown has still been incredibly sluggish by Chinese government’s standards, especially when the Xi regime has made its intention of banning VPN known and directives have been issued for that in 2017.

Why has VPN continued to enjoy this “grey existence”? Because without VPN, a lot of foreign businesses would leave—some, for example, require the most efficient online tools developed outside China to track the foreign markets, and talents have rejected job offers in the country when they realised they couldn’t get on their favourite social media. The science and tech sectors also rely heavily on VPN—programmers relying on Google to search stackoverflow, for example, to find known solutions to bugs.

VPNs have also served political purposes—Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Chinese Communist Party (CCP)-critical communities all over the world are all painfully aware of the Chinese government’s practice of hiring its own collection of internet commentators (”50 Cent Party”), and at times, mobilising their youths (gamers, fan circles) to scale the Firewall and astroturf, throw insults at the “CCP enemies” and bomb message boards with pro-CCP messages.

Also, a significant fraction of VPN companies, both in China and overseas, have been reported to have Chinese ownership, by companies with government connections. These VPN services provide a false sense of security for those who do not enjoy having big brother peeking behind their backs while acting as surveillance tools that extend beyond the country.

(Please be careful about free VPNs).

The next question: If until now, users of private VPNs only rarely get into trouble, what’s holding them from scaling the Great Firewall and learning the facts?

It is this: the law isn’t about “climbing the wall”, but what one does outside the wall.

Article 6 of the 2016 edition of Cybersecurity law states the following:

第六条　国家倡导诚实守信、健康文明的网络行为，推动传播社会主义核心价值观，采取措施提高全社会的网络安全意识和水平，形成全社会共同参与促进网络安全的良好环境

Article 6: The State advocates sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct; promoting dissemination of the core socialist values, adopting measures to raise the entire society's awareness and level of network security, and forming a good environment for the entire society to jointly participate in advancing network security.

What this article implies is this ~ legally, Chinese citizens are bound to the Chinese government’s rules of good internet conduct, regardless of whether they use VPN to get on the internet. As with many Chinese laws, however, the vagueness in wording invites more questions than answers. Is it getting on Twitter, a banned website, “sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct”? Obviously, it’s illegal to interact with other users about the Xinjiang’s internment camps, but what if one only goes there to talk about their favourite stars, because on Weibo supertopic they can’t even mention the stars’ name, can’t ahkgkhagjkfaskjgdf about their favourite fics? What if one goes there to discuss a M- or E-rated fic? Where is the line drawn and given its vagueness, will that line move tomorrow? How?

Most people, therefore, have opted to simply stay away from VPN. After all, China offers its own version of many of the fun websites out there (Weibo-Twitter; Instagram-Oasis; Tiktok-Douyin; Youtube-Bilibili). For those who do use VPN, they tend to stick to websites that are unlikely to cause issues (such as Instagram; Instagram became an issue when Hong Kongers started to upload information about the protests on there).

Now, let’s proceed to 2): People don’t know the facts because they’re being lied to about what they know.

There’s a difference between having access to facts and knowing that they’re facts. This is among the most painful lessons, perhaps, for those who followed the politics of the United States in the last few years (please forgive me for the US-centric-ness of the following few paragraphs!). Even with equal access to identical information, people can vary a LOT in their understanding of what are facts and what are lies.

This illustrates the power of propaganda—and propaganda in the US isn’t even centralised. Some media outlets and individuals (political leaders and analysts) have more say on what should be viewed as the truth, but parties without significant power—small foreign and domestic interests, fringe political organisations, conspiracy theorists, regular folks—have also made critical contributions to the “fake news” phenomenon in the US. There haven’t been apparent coordinations between these parties; little concerted effort has been made to create one coherent story out of the many tales told.

In China, the propaganda effort is centralised, coordinated, free of distractions from competing story lines. The One Story the government decides on is repeated, over and over again, on newspapers, in shows, in textbooks, on signs on the streets, on social media. To put it another way, when it comes to political discourse, the country is designed to be an echo chamber with 1.4 billion people. Over time, the One Stories inevitably become firmly held beliefs—so firmly held that even if the people are exposed to facts, they no longer believe in them.

This is especially true when the source of the facts are countries with strong traditions of freedoms of speech and press, where the facts are often laid out with a critical eye to the administration and with vastly different opinions attached to them. While we view the latter as evidences that the values we embrace are alive and well—a critical eye to the administration means the Fourth Estate is doing its job, and the different opinions means freedom of speech gets to live another day—people who haven’t been exposed to these values tend to interpret these things as signs of weakness of the government. They may think the Chinese government is better than its counterparts elsewhere because no one is penning scathing criticisms against it. They may think the Chinese government is stronger because it unifies the opinions of their people—the failure of which, they’ve been taught, would lead to social chaos and economic free-fall.

The Chinese population has also been “immunised” against the truths that may be exposed about their government by a propaganda talking point used since Chairman Mao’s days—that the “Imperialist” western world, particularly the United States, is always scheming its downfall. The phrase often used is 美帝亡我之心不死 (”The heart (intention) of Imperialist US to bring us down will never die”). Unfavourable truths exposed must therefore be part of the “bring down China” scheme. This decades-old demonisation of the political apparatus of the US and Europe also prepares the people to accept what most would see as outrageous conspiracy theories: for example, in March 2020, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs claimed that the US Army intentionally planted COVID in Wuhan during the 2019 Military World games. “Foreign interference” becomes a frequent and convenient scapegoat for policy decisions gone wrong, sometimes to a (somewhat) hilarious effect ~ for example, a Taiwanese journalist calculated the cost required for the CIA to fund the 2019 Hong Kong Protests, as the Chinese government had claimed—and it turned out that the CIA was too poor to do it.

(Many of us in the US would probably laugh at the idea that our government is capable of secretly paying 2 million foreign-language speaking strangers to show up together in one march.) (It can’t even get the COVID relief payments to its own people right over a period of months.)

(Fun trivia for turtles! As 美帝=“Imperialist US” is the synonym of a feared, imaginary super-villain—super organised, super efficient, super everywhere and super impossible to take down—c-BJYX, the indestructible No. 1 CP fandom in China, has been nicknamed “美帝 cp” by those not so enamoured with it.)

Finally, there’s the psychological factor. Once a set of beliefs becomes personal truths, listening to alternatives can be very upsetting (for those in the US: imagine the blue voting block made to listen to Fox News). Hence, even when people gain access to the facts later—for example, when they study/work abroad, even emigrate—they often don’t take advantage of the access. Instead, they remain logged in in the Chinese social media sites where they’re comfortable with not only the politics but also the language and the friendships they’ve built, and continue to immerse themselves in an environment heavy with CCP propaganda. They remain defenders of the Chinese government; some have even gone out and harass people who disagree with it, in the name of freedom of speech that their country of origin never offered to them.

Censorship, of course, is an important component of building a One Story echo chamber, and I should add a note about it: censorship in China comes in vastly different strengths. The restrictions on LGBT+ issues, for example, are fairly lax, relatively speaking—“homosexuality” remains a term one can find on their internet and a topic the administration continues to address, and while BL dramas are censored, their adapted versions, along with highly publicised discussions of their original material, have so far been tolerated. The strictest form of Chinese censorship would’ve allowed neither: any mention of the 1989 June 4th Tiananmen Square massacre , for example, is immediately removed, including any hints that the event may have happened. When the former leader of the Chinese government, Jiang Zemin (江澤民), was rumoured to have passed away, the censorship apparatus went so far as to remove all mentions of Jiang, which also happened to mean “large rivers”. Chinese netizens therefore joked that major rivers had ceased to exist in China that day, as one couldn’t find any information about them online.

(LGBT+ activists have therefore remained optimistic about the future of their campaign, despite the current state of affairs. To put it simply: the Chinese government has bigger fish to fry. Sexual minorities haven’t had major clashes with the administration, haven’t embarrassed the Chinese government with their demand for rights as the ethnic minorities—the Uyghurs, the Tibetans, the Mongolians etc did. Political dissidents, including the millions in Hong Kong, are also (far) ahead in the ranking of fish size.)

For most issues, the censorship effort sits somewhere in the middle and is often inconsistent over time. The people, therefore, often have knowledge that an event has happened — even when the event is considered, beyond the Great Firewall, damaging to the reputation of the Chinese government. However, critical information is often missing in their knowledge, or is heavily distorted. For example, overseas Chinese citizens have insisted that the motivation of the 2019 Hong Kong Protests was economic, echoing the longstanding CCP propaganda that Hong Kongers have been jealous of China’s prosperity (reality: China’s GDP per capita was $10,268 USD in 2019, and Hong Kong’s, $48,713—more than 4 times higher). They missed out a critical fact: while the fast economic growth of China has created some unease—Hong Kongers have always known the Chinese government has only tolerated them and their freedoms for their ability to generate wealth—what has truly ignited Hong Kong’s anger is the Chinese government’s violation of the 1984 Sino-British Joint Declaration, and the terms it had agreed upon to get back the then British crown colony. Hong Kong hasn’t been demanding autonomy and freedoms because it’s a troublemaker, but because these things were promised to the city as conditions of the 1997 handover. As residents of the world’s third largest financial centre, Hong Kongers are diligent drafters and executioners of contracts (which international treaties are) and above all, faithful believers of them. For an asker (the Chinese government) to claim a contract as “historical” because it has received the goods (Hong Kong) and no longer feels a need to pay (allow Hong Kong 50 years of freedoms and autonomy) is offensive to the principle, the very heart and soul of the city.

(Gg’s former boss was a Hong Konger, and his experience working for him was a rather accurate reflection of Hong Kong’s view on business. What made an impression to Gg—that the posters should be without rips and misprints, even if these imperfections were not the fault of the design company—is a no-brainer to the Hong Konger in me reading the interview. Delivering high quality goods and services isn’t an act of kindness but rather, of professionalism and respect for the contract.)

(This interview is a highly recommended read, for those who’ve missed it!)

(One more example of “conveniently missed critical information”: remember GG’s show on Chongqing? Did you know the underground bombing shelters were not built by the Communist government, but the Nationalist government that was still ruling China during WWII?)

Anyway, where was I?

Right. We’re getting to 3): People are not getting the facts on the political situation in China because they’re not interested in current affairs.

Some—well, many— people are not interested in politics.

Some of you may be thinking: well, I’m not interested either. I follow politics because it’s important.

Why is it important? Because political engagement means you can do something about the many ills of the society, speak for those who cannot, force the government to change by voting, by voicing your opinion, by going to marches and protests etc.

What if you follow politics and still can’t do most of these things? What if, if you do choose to do these things, the price you pay may be astronomical? Will you still follow politics or devote your time, your energy to something else, something you’ve got more control over, something that won’t be as saddening, frustrating because it’s something you can actually change?

3) is therefore intricately related to why people often don’t do anything, even if they manage to find out about the facts.

There’re no national elections in China. Marches and protests are practically banned because while the Chinese Constitution guarantees the freedom of assembly (as it does freedom of speech and press; Article 35), it also explicitly states that "Citizens of the People’s Republic of China, in exercising their freedoms and rights, may not infringe upon the interests of the State, of society or of the collective, or upon the lawful freedoms and rights of other citizens.” (Article 51) — ie. the freedoms and rights only go as far as if they do not stand in the government’s way. Social media and all communications platforms are under constant surveillance, and so only opinions tolerated by the government is allowed...

And so, the fact, social ill that has broken your heart—you can’t tell for sure if it isn’t talked about because the government has censored it, how many people know about it and more importantly, how many among the people who know about it will agree with your take. If you break your silence and voice your concerns, how many people will have your back, even if you also conceive them as victims of the social ill? If the social ill is the lack of rights of a minority group, for example, will they appreciate your speaking out, or will your “rocking-the-boat” make things even worse for them? A heavily watched net means communications with the oppressed/vulnerable social groups are often filled with obstacles, if not outright impossible. You don’t know how these groups feel; you don’t even know how many affected individuals are there. You watch the and news and shows and they all talk about how wonderfully things are going; how everyone seems so hopeful and positive and happy with their lives—are you the only person feeling that way? Are you wrong? If you speak out then, will you be yelling into the void, or worse, yelling at the police who “invites” you for a chat in the police station? To speak for those who do not have a voice to speak, are you ready, willing to take the risk of also becoming one who no longer has a voice to speak? Is your family ready?

To put it another way: the opportunity cost of “doing something” about the political situation can be astronomically high in China, compared to the opportunity cost of us doing something similar in our own country.

If I want to support the LGBT+ population in my part of the US, for example, I can do so effectively with minimal investment and most importantly, with minimal risk. By pasting a rainbow flag on this Tumblr post, for example, I’ve already signalled to those who need support on this issue that I’m ready to give mine. And this “signal” of mine will join the hundreds and thousands on the site, collectively telling the activists doing the “on the ground” fighting that they’re not alone; that they have my vote of support. I pose no danger to myself in doing so; no one will accuse me of, arrest me for infringing upon the interests of the State and the Collective. The rainbow flag, a display of my stance, will not turn into a blurred blob the next time I look at it, transform overnight from a symbol of solidarity to a warning sign to those who may wish to join the cause. There’s no danger for me, even, to carry an actual, huge rainbow flag to Pride, perform my activism in person. I don’t have to worry about my phone already giving away my identity as a protester to the government, especially in post-COVID times. I don’t need to watch out for plain clothes pretending to be my allies. I don’t have to look at the many surveillance cameras present and wonder if I’ll get blacklisted as a troublemaker.

Am I still being tracked and taken pictures of? Possibly. But for this cause, at least, I’m not afraid that these information will be used to arrest me. If I were arrested, I know there'll be lawyers and activists who would come to my aid. LOUDLY. ANGRILY.

I’m not afraid. Period. I’m having fun. And I doubt I can say the same if I try to carry a rainbow flag to Tiananmen square and march there.

This vast difference in the opportunity cost of taking political action is the reason why I’ve refrained from demanding those who live under authoritarian dictatorships to stand up for their neighbours who’ve been oppressed / bullied by their governments. I’ve refrained from criticising them for looking away, minding their own business. Do I wish they’ve take action? Of course I do. Am I aware that their lack of action is potentially more harmful because of the frequent atrocities happening around them? Yes. But I also understand that going on a fight is far more frightening when one doesn’t even have a sense of how many will join their side of the fight; I understand that fighting for what one deserves—freedoms, rights, justice—should never equal martyrdom, and just because a regime has elected to put equal signs between the two doesn’t mean those equal signs should ever be there. I remind myself that, to ask the people in any authoritarian dictatorship to stand up for a political cause is to ask them to make sacrifices that we, as people in relatively free societies, do not need to make when standing up for the same cause. In a country where a father demanding the truth about the milk product poisoning of his own son got jail time for “eliciting social disorder”, to stand up for even a single issue, no matter how small that issue is, requires courage that I’m not sure I have.

I can’t ask anyone to do anything I may not be able to do myself.

And this is why I, too, have chosen to support these people, even if many of them are single-issue activists, even when many support the Chinese government on other issues that matter. For example, the late Dr Li Wenliang, one of the eight COVID whistleblowers in China who passed away from the disease, was an opponent of the Hong Kong Protest, but I still (greatly) appreciate, respect him for what he did. As long as they’re not actively helping the government to cause (more) harm to others, as long as their cooperation with their government falls within what is demanded of them as citizens, they have my support. Why? Because most people who speak out in China cannot afford to stand up for more than one cause before it becomes dangerous for them. Because even if it’s only a tiny vulnerable social group, one small minority that makes a tiny step towards more rights, more freedoms, more justice, it’s still a victory in a country where rights, freedoms and justice are luxury items for those with neither political nor economic power. Because those who’re not part of the ruling class cannot afford to cherry pick their allies, cannot afford to in-fight when the ruling class already holds absolute power. Because I still believe in pay-it-forward, that most people who’ve benefited from someone standing up for them, even for one small incident, one minor cause, is more likely to stand up for someone else.

This is, admittedly, not always an easy choice to make—not for me, at least. I do get frustrated, can’t help but think at times that those who subscribe to and spread propaganda are, to a certain extent, corroborators of the atrocities committed by their government. (So, to those who’ve felt this frustration, you’re not alone!). And the Hong Konger in me has every reason to be furious with everything about China right now—all I could think of, when I listened to Gg singing 異鄉人 Foreigner the other night, are all the Hong Kongers fleeing the city now, as refugees, because of their political beliefs.

But for now, I’m hanging on. I’ve been able to tell myself that given the country’s political reality, given its tradition of collectivism (which tends to view confrontational dissent with scorn), the paths to freedoms, to equal rights and acceptance, will not be the same as what I’ve seen, what I’ve wished for. They’ll likely be slow; They’ll likely be long and winding, taking three steps forward and two steps back; they’d likely be unexpected in places, offer us surprises —

And since it’s Chinese New Year / Valentines and I’m feeling brave (irresponsible?), I’d venture a little bit of speculation and say this ~ yes, I’ve wondered if one of these many paths may be trodden, intentionally or not, by two beautiful male idols and their millions of turtles. Is it wishful, fantastical thinking? I’d be the first to admit the answer is yes. But the BJYX scheme has been so well executed as of now, so effective that I can’t help but wonder if it’s leading towards some sort of a goal, whether devised by the humans involved or by the gods/Fates who, as c-turtles have said so romantically, have been writing an original BL story with our favourite boys. The goal may be personal —simply two people being able to act more like themselves again under the spotlight—or a bit more ambitious…

… Because the sneakers + ice-cream post did catch my attention (will probably have to devote a post on that?). Another small incident that has caught my attention, unrelated to Gg and Dd but can significantly change the path they may be trodding, is this — in June 2020, People’s Daily, the state controlled newspaper, boasted its country’s increasing friendliness towards the LGBT+ communities on Twitter . While the tweet was met with skepticism and soon removed, the message it sent is this: the Chinese government may have figured out the the Western world (in particular, the younger generations) view LGBT+ rights as a measure of progressiveness. While I’m still leaning towards the government maintaining a tight grip on LGBT+ rights within its borders, with the strengthening call to boycott 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics because of the country’s poor human rights record, I can see a glimmer of possibility that the same government may do the unexpected and cater to the queer community for the sake of propaganda. As I mentioned, the queer community hasn’t caused much headache for the Chinese government, and so it’s far more likely to be chosen as the “benefactors” of such a “we’re a human rights champion too!” propaganda campaign than, say, ethnic minorities and political dissidents. Promoting dissemination of core socialist values has always sat high on the CCP’s agenda list, and its target audience has always included foreign, non-Chinese populations; this effort is known as 大外宣—“The Great External Propaganda”. And who better to cast as leads of an international propaganda campaign on LGBT+ rights than two of its own stars who’ve already demonstrated loyalty to the government, who’ve already garnered international fame from a TV series widely viewed as queer, and who may actually be queer?

(And if—if!!!— this ever happens, may I ask everyone to please consider doing the following? Please do not feel a need to express gratitude. Please do not act as though it’s a gift. Celebrate as you would celebrate anyone in a free country exercising their birthright to live, to love the way they want — no less than that, no more than that.)

(For those who’ve asked ~ as international fans, not allowing the CCP to modify our expectations of how a government should behave may be one of the most effective ways to protect Gg and Dd.)

(I call this learning from the best: get the goods we want (more rights for the people in China), refuse to pay the cost (subscribe to CCP’s propaganda), and RUN! ❤️💛💚)

#pie metas #yizhan #bjyx #pie answers

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