#and i will miss you dearly <3 be back sunday :)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

goodbye for the weekend <333

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

𝙀𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙬

synopsis: after being away and entertaining others, your husband decides to give you a special something

wrd cnt: 1.1k

tags: cunnalingus, oral, penetration, doggy, vulgar, praise, explicit

a/n: if you couldn’t tell been having major writers block + no time to write but this one reeled me back in a bit so i hope you enjoy <3

It was late at night by the time you got home. The house had been quiet all evening, save for the soft hum of your laptop as you explored some new music. But now that the sun had set, there were no more distractions—just the sound of your own breathing, the whirring blade of the fan above your head, and the occasional creak of floorboards beneath your feet.

You heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps coming down the hallway towards the living room where you sat on the couch. Your eyes widened when you saw who it was.

“Sunday!” You exclaimed, jumping up and running over to him. He looked incredible, even if he was clearly exhausted from working all day. His face was flushed red with desire, and his black suit pants hung lower on his hips than usual, as his belt was quite undone just as his tie.

“Y/n-,” he said, leaning down to kiss you deeply before pulling away. “I missed you…quite dearly”

You replied breathlessly in agreeance, taking his hand and leading him over to sit beside you on the couch. As soon as he sat down, he pulled you into his lap and started kissing your neck hungrily.

“Mmm... I love how good you tastes,” he murmured against your skin as he moved lower down your chest, licking and sucking at your nipples until they hardened under his touch.

To say you were surprised was an understatement, your husband was always quite well mannered, and in control especially of himself.

Before you could express this pleasant concern, be continued further down, pushing your body down and stopping his peppering of kisses just above your waistband.

“Please don’t stop...” You begged softly. “Keep going...”

He chuckled darkly as he pulled your bottoms down, revealing your pretty laced panties.

“Such a naughty girl,” he whispered seductively. “you know happens when you tease me like that, don’t you?”

With those words still ringing in your ears, he slid his hands around to the front of your panties and began teasing them apart until they fell down around your ankles; now placed on each of his shoulders.

His soft hands spread your legs wide apart and leaned forward to lick along the length of your slit.

“Ohh... yes... keep doing that...” You moaned, feeling yourself growing wetter than ever before.

“Mmmm... such a tasty little thing,” he purred, moving one finger inside you while continuing to lap at your clit with his tongue. “Feels good hm? You’re dripping…” He smirked, slipping a second finger inside you, curling them up and down faster this time. “How does that feel baby?” He asked, before returning to suck your swollen pearl.

“So good... oh god... more-...” You panted, arching your back slightly to allow him better access to you.

“Like this?” He whispered, increasing the speed of his movements until he felt you begin to tremble against him.

“Yes! Oh fuck yes!-” You cried out loudly, throwing your head back against the couch cushions as pleasure washed through every part of your body.

As if sensing your impending climax, he suddenly stopped moving his fingers altogether and instead focused solely on licking and sucking at your clit. With waves of pleasure coursing through your entire body, you squirmed uncontrollably.

“Oh my god... yes... right there...” You gasped, grinding yourself against him as best you could while trying not to fall off the couch entirely.

“Mmmmm... I knew you liked this,” he chuckled wickedly, pushing you down onto the couch once again. “Now let me show you something else.”

With those words still echoing in your mind, he stood up and placed a knee inbetween your legs, slowly pushing into you as he got close to you. Grabbing your hand, he gave you hold of his erection, stroking himself with your hand slowly up and down several times before letting you do it yourself.

“What do you think of that?” He asked teasingly. “See what you do to me?”

“Mhm….,” you answered quietly with a small nod, feeling yourself grow hungrier than ever before.

As if he couldn’t waste another second, he dragged you up and pushed your body against the couch, feeling his chest heavy against your back as your breasts pressed up against the fabric of the apolstry.

“Fuck I missed you-“ He says, slowly dragging his cock up and down your folds as you hear his shaky breath.

“Sunday- please…” You mewl, pushing yourself back into him.

“Use your words, my love.” He breathes against your ear.

You groan in annoyance at his teasing.

He chuckles, and then thrusts his thick cock into your tight, wet heat.

It was like a drug, every movement of his hips, every touch of his hand, every inch of his skin against yours was ecstacy.

After a few moments, his pace becomes steady, and soon enough his hips are snapping furiously against yours.

You moan and writhe beneath him, clawing desperately at the sofa beneath you.

He lets out a deep growl and slams his hands down on either side of your head.

His grip tightens as he pounds into you harder and harder, causing your body to shake uncontrollably.

The friction of his cock sliding in and out of your dripping pussy combined with the roughness of his thrusts and the force of his hands against your body, made you see stars.

Your mouth hangs open and your eyes roll back, as you arch your back and thrust your hips upwards, meeting his thrusts eagerly.

Your fingers dig into his biceps, gripping onto him tightly.

With each passing second, you could feel your orgasm building within you, threatening to tear through you any moment now.

You knew that this wasn't going to last much longer.

"Fuck- I'm so close…," you cry out, throwing your head back.

His hand reaches up and grabs your throat, squeezing tightly, and pulling you closer to him.

His thrusts grow even more powerful, and you gasp as he slams his cock deep inside you.

"Come for me then, my darling," he purrs into your ear, his voice low and husky.

He releases his grip on your neck and moves his hand down to grip your ass firmly.

You whimper and writhe beneath him, unable to hold back any longer.

"Fuck-!" You scream, throwing your head back once more and letting the orgasm rip through you.

His cock slides in and out of you faster and faster, as his movements become more erratic.

His fingers dig into your ass as he pulls you even closer, thrusting into you one final time before he explodes inside you.

His hips slow their frantic rhythm as he groans and grunts into your ear, his seed filling you up completely; leaving you tilted over the cushions and wrecked.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[agi-ppangx]

good morning (han jisung x gn!reader)

no warnings, just a soft, fluffy morning with hannie<3

an: as promised, this is my little gift for you as a thank you for 1000 followers🫶🏽 i wish i couldve done more for you because its such a huge milestone, but this is all i could muster in my current state and with the amount of uni stuff. i love you and thank you once again for being here and reading my silly little fics<3

soft, feather-like touches woke you up late in the morning. you pouted, suppressing a yawn as you opened your puffy eyes only to see jisung’s face mere centimetres from yours. his fingers danced delicately on your cheeks, brushing your earlobes in the process.

“sungie, it tickles,” you mumbled, blinking slowly as he smiled shyly, whispering a quiet “’m sorry”. you hummed, closing your eyes and nuzzling your face in the crook of jisung’s neck. he wrapped his arms tightly around you, carding his fingers through your dishevelled hair.

sunday mornings were your favourite things in the world. time seemed to stop then, letting you and your boyfriend enjoy the peace and quiet that you missed dearly throughout the week. living in a constant rush exhausted you, draining the last of your energy, so when sunday came, you were finally able to recharge in jisung’s arms.

“are you hungry?” he asked softly after a while, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. you pressed your lips to his neck, letting out a small “mhm” and he giggled. “you’re so cute when you’re tired,” he added, running his fingers through your hair again. “i’m gonna order something, okay?” he said, unwrapping his arms from your body, trying to reach for his phone, but you whined, clinging to him like a koala.

“don’t leave me,” you mumbled sleepily, throwing your leg over jisung’s waist and keeping him in place as you snuggled into his side once more. he laughed at your dramatics.

“i’m not going anywhere, silly, i just wanted to take my phone. where would i go anyway?” he chimed, angling his body unnaturally to reach for his phone with you clinging to his body. he came back to his original place as he successfully grabbed the device and started placing the order.

“i dunno,” you yawned. ”i just had a dream last night that you left me without a word and never came back. it scared me honestly. i don’t want you to leave me,” you whispered the last few words, pouting and jisung cooed at you, locking his phone and throwing it on the pillow next to his head.

“jisung in your dream must’ve been really stupid if he left you. he’s a complete idiot,” he said, dramatically gasping and it made you laugh.

“yeah, he was an idiot. i’m glad it was just a dream.”

“why?”

“because i would never let you go, dumbass,” you scoffed, poking his cheek. he smiled at that, capturing your lips in a soft yet passionate kiss.

“you wouldn’t have to, because i’d never leave you anyway.”

taglist !

@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh

[pretty-little-mind33]

Count Alexei Vronsky x wife!reader

Summary: When Alexei brought you a kitten, he didn't think you would spend your entire time with her.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: mild jealousy

~ i hope you like it <3 @vanessavampiaives ~

COUNT VRONSKY MASTERLIST

Count Alexei Vronsky doesn't usually have any reason to be jealous. 

He's devilishly handsome and incredibly wealthy, and more importantly, he has you. 

His lovely wife, whom he loves dearly and who he knows loves him just as much. Since you met him, he'd fallen for you hard and you remain the sun he revolves around. 

So, when he comes back home one evening with a small basket and calls your name, he's expecting you to greet him like you usually would: with a hug. 

Instead, just as you prepare to rush up and wrap your arms around his shoulders, you make a small squeal and cover your mouth as you see the basket. "Alexei, what is this?" you whisper as he chuckles and holds out the basket for you. 

You peer inside and when you pull up the blankets and see a small soft bundle of white fur, your heart almost explodes. You look up at your husband, a wide smile curling your lips. "Oh! Is that for me?" 

Alexei smiles. He kneels down to put the basket on the floor. You mimic him and watch happily as he gently picks up the kitten in his hands and lifts her out of the cushions in the basket. The kitten yawns, scrunching her little pink nose, and looks up, blinking with her blue eyes as she looks at you. 

"He's adorable," you say, moving your dress so you can fully sit on the floor. 

"She is all yours, my love," Alexei passes the kitten to you, joining you on the floor as he crosses his legs. "Do you like her?" he asks expectantly, leaning in and smoothing his knuckle under the kitten's chin. The small kitten meows, and you don't know if it is a sound of disapproval or enjoyment. 

You caress her carefully. She's so tiny in your arms. "I love her," you whisper, looking into your husband's eyes and sending him a sweet smile.

"What did I do to receive such a sweet present?" 

Alexei chuckles and stands up. He dusts his uniform and leans down, resting his hand under your chin to pull your head up to him. He kisses your forehead gently. "Do I need a reason to spoil my darling?" he teases, smirking a little before he adds, "I listen to you, you know. I know you've been wanting a cat for a while and I couldn't resist when I saw this precious little thing."

You cradle the kitten in your arms, eyes lighting up as you feel the small animal start to purr against your hands. "She's lovely, thank you," you say sincerely and Alexei's heart swells seeing the pretty smile that gracious your lips. He tucks some hair behind your ear and hums warmly. 

His happiness is short-lived considering all you talk about for the next week is Princess. He's convinced you've spent more of your time petting that cat than talking with him.

It's a Sunday morning and you're sitting on the couch with Princess curled up in your lap as you scratch behind her ears. You're humming softly, whispering praises as she purrs. 

Alexei walks in, adjusting the cuffs of his suit and his eyes narrow when he sees you. He sighs and leans against the wall, crossing his arms. "You know you don't have to be with her all the time," he states, his voice a little strained.

Your expression twists into concern and you look up at your husband. "What do you mean?" you ask quietly, continuing to caress Princess's fur. 

Alexei sighs again, this time walking over and sitting next to you. "I mean you're always with her. Always. She sleeps in between us in our bed goddamnit!" he runs a hand through his blond curls, seeming exhausted and his curse earns him a frown. "And it would all be okay, but it's been days. And I miss you."

You catch on to his tone and smirk. "Honey, please tell me you aren't jealous of a kitten, are you?"

Alexei's cheeks turn crimson and he coughs. "Of course, I'm not, that would be ridiculous."

"Seems like you are," you giggle, scratching Princess's ear one last time before picking her up and placing her down at your feet. Completely unbothered by the change, Princess starts to lick and clean her leg.

You turn to Alexei, gently ruffling his hair. "All you had to say was that you wanted some pets too and I would have happily given you some," you joke with a smile.

He pushes your hand away, still embarrassed. However, his chest feels full as he enjoys your attention. He's like a starved man and he'll take whatever he can have. "Don't laugh at me, love."

You look up at him, running your finger across his jaw. "You're cute when you're jealous."

Alexei rolls his eyes and leans down to capture your lips in his. He kisses you deeply and then mumbles against your lips, "I love you. I absolutely adore you. I worship you, my dear."

You feel your cheeks becoming warm at this and you kiss him back. "I love you too, you silly man," you say after a moment, pulling away. Your words are interrupted by Princess jumping onto Alexei's lap. He looks down at the small animal, unsure what to do as she curls up into a small ball. Your smile widens. "She likes you," the happiness in your voice fills Alexei with warmth. 

He brings his large hand over Princess's head and starts to pet her. "I will admit, she's very cute," he whispers and then looks at you from the corner of his eye, smirking, "Although, not cute enough to warrant ignoring your husband."

You swat his arm, frowning, "Oh shush," you stare up at him fondly, "You must know I love you more than a cat, right?”

Alexei leans over, careful not to disturb Princess, and kisses your lips. "Mmm, if you say so, my lovely," he says, smiling against your lips. 

You pull away, that adorable frown Alexei guiltily loves appearing in between your eyebrows. "I mean it," your voice is like velvet and Alexei's hand finds your cheek. His thumb caresses your skin and you subconsciously move into his touch.

"I know you do love," he murmurs, "I'm just teasing you."

You smile at him, your eyes shining. Just like the sun, he thinks, and for a moment he feels blinded by your beauty and then kisses you again.

[boydepartment]

enhypen texts + scenario - when you ask them to call

a/n: i am procrastinating on eng 102 hw. that’s not due until sunday but STILL. i just don’t wanna do it rn 🫶

warnings: cursing

MASTERLIST

jungwon-

when jungwon finally called and you answered you perked up...

"hey my baby! are you feeling any better? i know this cold has been messing with you..." his voice sounded worried. you sneezed and hummed softly. "i've been trying to get better so i can see you again, i dont wanna get you sick or anything!" you whined, you missed him dearly but you could not get him sick. especially with a comeback around the corner. "do you want to play a game or something? that always cheers you up!" you smiled at jungwon's kindness, "i'd really love that."

heeseung-

when heeseung answered he set his phone up his phone at his desk so you could see him...

"hey my favorite person! i missed you..." heeseung mumbled as he clicked away at the computer. "i thought i asked you to stop playing league!" you teased him, joking of course. he started giggling and pushed up his glasses. "after this game, i'm in the middle and leaving would make me a shitty friend!" he was focused. you really didn't mind when he played games while you called him. you got to see the eye candy in front of you, and you got to listen to him talk to himself, cursing under his breath. so safe to say you were not complaining <3

jay-

when you finally got a call it felt like a breath of fresh air to you...

"i am so stressed right now..." you leaned you head down on you pillow, you resorted to studying in bed. "i know my love, do you want to teach me what youre learning? i heard that can help..." he suggested, jay's voice was soft. you smiled to yourself, "i think that will help, but can you tell me about your day first?" "of course darling..."

jake-

when jake finally answered you, you kicked your feet a little, not that he needed to know that...

"hiiiiii!" jake said, in his usual cheery tone, he was always happy to hear your voice, so you didnt answer, you hummed. "y/nnnnnnn!!!!! i want to hear your voice please!" he started acting overdramatic, whining, being loud, the whole thing. you started to laugh and snort. "that works for me too, your laugh is my second favorite noise!" your brows furrowed, "what the hell is your favorite?" "YOUR VOICE ITSELF?????" jake sounded offended, "I AM NOT SOME PERV? I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT!" you started laughing again, jake never failing to making your mood lighter.

sunghoon-

you did not think sunghoon was actually sprinting, so when you answered the face time call and saw the phone looking like it was being thrown, you started laughing.

"AH! I AM FINALLY IN MY HOTEL ROOM!" you heard his door shut and saw him flop on the bed, "hi my love!" you were still giggling, "you didn't have to run!" "i did have to run! i missed you! and you missed me!" sunghoon spoke like it was the most simple thing on earth. "i love you." you spoke softly, sunghoon put his face in the blanket. mumbling out a weak, "i love you too."

sunoo-

"NOW WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS FROM ME?!"

you jumped back from your phone, sunoo was LOUD. "i didnt want you to think i was clingy!" you cringed out. sunoo let out an appalled noise. "y/n l/n i love you more than anything in the world! do not be afraid to say you miss me! in fact i miss you ALL the time!" you heard him huff at the end, solidifying his statement in a very sunoo way. he never failed to make you smile. "okay okay! i miss you everyday too! now talk to me please!" you said in between laughs. "THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

riki-

you read over his lasts texts trying to comprehend them until he called you

"you okay? you seemed mad." riki spoke, you head him rustle around a bit so you assumed that he was in bed, you were too. "no, i am just really tired of human interaction right now." riki chuckled slightly, "that's ironic." "shut up i thought we already established you are something else." you spoke quickly and defensively, this made him laugh and accidentally drop his phone. "FUCK!" you started laughing, "what the hell just happened!?" you didn't know this, but the fact riki made you laugh by purposely dropping his phone made his heart warm. you also didn't need to know that risking shattering his phone was on purpose either just to hear you laugh again. "I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY PHONE AND I CANT FIND IT BECAUSE IT IS DARK IN MY ROOM!"

[mynameismckenziemae]

She’s a Fire-Epilogue

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OFC/Reader (no use of y/n)

The End

(previous chapter here)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of smut, throwing up mentioned, pregnancy mentioned, lmk if I missed anything.

You officially became Mrs. Bradley Bradshaw 3 months later.

You had looked breathtaking in an ivory long-sleeved, lace gown. It was an intimate affair with both your closest friends and family on a snowy day in Colorado the day after Christmas. You’re not sure who cried more.

The evening after the wedding you departed for your honeymoon at an all-inclusive in the Bahamas.

You couldn’t contain your laughter at Bradley’s flush when his bag was opened and searched by customs, revealing all the sex toys you’d stuffed in there. He was equally aroused as he was humiliated as they rummaged through the items before zipping it closed and handing it back. His eyes were dark as he stalked over, dragging you to a quiet corner of the terminal to tell you exactly how you were going to pay for embarrassing him when you got to the resort. Good thing it rained the following day-your ass had paid for it dearly and you could hardly sit without wincing. Totally worth it though.

It was a perfect, relaxing week. Equal amount of time was spent in the sun as it was in your room, wringing pleasure out of each other in every way possible.

Like every good thing, it came to an end too quickly, but you were happy to get back home to Lola.

Bradley was called out to deploy only a few days later and even though you understood it’s his job, it was disappointing.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

It’s been a rough deployment too; 5 weeks in and you only got one short phone call. Not to mention you’ve been nauseous on and off for over a week.

You woke up in a sour mood one Sunday morning; your boobs hurt and were cramping so much that even Lola couldn’t cheer you up.

Must be getting my period, you think as you feed Lola. But you freeze when you look at the calendar. You were late.

You’d gotten your birth control implant removed shortly before the wedding. But there was no way you were pregnant yet. It took some time for your body to regulate when going off birth control, right?

30 minutes and a quick run to Target later, you’re shaking as you force yourself to not peek before the 3 minutes are up.

You startle when your phone signals that time up. Taking a deep breath, you open your eyes. Happy tears immediately fill your eyes at the two pink lines. It’s positive.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You’re still sitting on the floor in disbelief a few minutes later when Sunny texts you and Nat. Nat didn’t deploy with the rest of the squad this time for some reason, but you hadn’t seen her as she went to visit family for a few weeks.

Sunny: Wanna have brunch with me?

Nat: Yes! I just got home last night from Dani’s. I’ve missed you guys.

Rowan: Missed you too, Nat. Brunch sounds great.

Sunny: Yay! Meet at the place on Park Street in an hour?

Rowan: Perfect, see you soon!

Nat: Works for me.

You get there early and snag a table, waving them over when they arrive.

“What can I start you off with to drink?” The waitress asks right as she sits down.

“Just water is fine,” you answer, pointedly looking at your menu while you avoid their eyes.

“I’ll do the same, thanks.” Sunny replies.

“Me too,” Nat smiles.

The waitress leaves and you finally look up.

They look between each other and you, looking like they’re ready to burst.

“I’m pregnant,” you all say at the same time.

Your eyes widen. “Oh my God! No way!”

“What?! You are too?!” Sunny says, choking on a sob as you both wrap her in a hug.

“Yeah, I just found out. Literally right before you texted. I’m still in shock, like…it doesn’t feel real yet. I wish Bradley was here,” you sniff, wiping your own tears as you pull away.

Nat smiles, eyes watery as well. “I found out at the pre-deployment screening. I hadn’t even missed my period yet. I told Jake and he was…ecstatic. My body hadn’t even changed yet but he was insatiable, didn’t even let me get out of bed the day before he left,” she laughs. “I’m a little over 7 weeks now. Does Bob know? How far along are you?”

Sunny shakes her head and dabs her eyes with her napkin. “No, and it’s the worst. I found out Thursday. I almost threw up at work when I was debriding a wound. I thought it was weird because it’s never bothered me before. I got home and took a test when I realized my period was a day late. I’m about 6 weeks. I wanted to tell you both in person.”

“I’m almost 6 weeks too, if my calculations are right. Wow,” you smile and squeeze their hands, “We’re all having babies, due at the same time. What are the odds?”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Just as you finish eating your phones go off simultaneously.

Bradley: Just hit dry land. I’ll see you in an hour, Mrs. Bradshaw. 😘

Rowan: Can’t wait, Mr. Bradshaw. 😏

Natasha and Sunny are looking at their phones and you assume they both received the same type of message based on their smiles.

Hugs and promises to give updates are given before you all rush out.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Your stomach starts to turn halfway home, and your mouth starts filling with saliva as you pull into the drive. You manage to make it to the bathroom before you empty the contents of your stomach, but not without startling Lola in your haste.

She timidly peeks her head in the door as you retch.

“I’m so sorry sweet girl,” you murmur, holding out the hand not gripping the toilet. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Her tail thumps loudly against the wall at your tone before deciding you’re forgiven. She lays at your feet with a huff.

You flush and curl up next to her, not wanting to get too far from the toilet as your stomach gurgles.

“Mama doesn’t feel good because I’ve got a baby in my tummy. You’re gonna be a big sister,” you whisper, rubbing her soft ears.

“Row? Lola? Where are you guys?” Bradley calls.

“In the bathroom,” you reply, sitting up as your heart flutters. Or maybe it’s your stomach because you’re back to throwing up as he enters the bathroom.

“Oh, Row. Are you okay?” He asks, too preoccupied to notice the pregnancy test on the counter, right next to the sink where he’s running a washcloth under cool water.

“I will be, thanks,” you sigh as he presses it to your neck.

“Is it the stomach flu? Something you ate?”

You shake your head, closing the lid and flushing again. He helps you to your feet and rubs your shoulders while you brush your teeth.

“How long have you been sick?”

“I’ve been feeling queasy for the last week or so.”

“Hope it doesn’t last too much longer,” he murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

You pick up the positive pregnancy test and turn to him.

“Won’t be more than 9 months,” you smile weakly.

“You-you’re pregnant?” He whispers, his face pales and is suddenly white as a sheet. “Oh shit, I better sit down.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

After he feels less faint, he guides you to bed and brings back a bucket before climbing in behind you.

“How far…when are you-just,…wow,” he laughs. “We’re having a baby, Row!”

“I just found out this morning,” you smile. “I think it happened on our honeymoon, so I’m due in the middle of September.”

“That’s amazing,” he breathes, resting his palm below your naval, “Did Nat tell you?”

“Yeah. We met Sunny for brunch this morning. She’s a little more than a week further along than me and Sunny.”

“Wait-Sunny too?! Holy shit!” He laughs in disbelief. “This is amazing!”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You fall asleep in his arms and wake an hour later to his head on your thighs, whispering to the little being inside you.

“…and I can’t wait to meet you. You’re gonna be my little buddy, doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl, I don’t mind either way. Tell grandma and grandpa Bradshaw that daddy says hi and I miss them so so much,” he murmurs, voice thick with tears. “And quit making your mama sick, okay? You’re so lucky to have her, she’s the best. Just don’t make her mad. I love you already.”

You haven’t even opened your eyes but tears are already streaming down your face. “You’re going to be an amazing dad, Bradley.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

7 ½ months later:

Wade Michael Seresin comes screaming into the world first, followed by Owen Bradley Floyd right on his due date; already a stickler for being on time, unlike his namesake.

5 days overdue, Connor Nicholas Bradshaw finally graces you with his presence, perfect in every way.

The end.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

A/N: Well that’s a wrap! BRB while I go cry.

Anywho, let me know if there’s anything you want me to elaborate on or go into further detail (like the honeymoon—would it even be a chapter I write without at least mentioning a spanking? 🥴).

Next up will be the asks. So far I’ve gotten:

Jake and Natasha breeding/pregnancy smut

Foursome with Jake, Nat, Row and Bradley

Tagging:

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@ingoaliesitrust

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

[weemsfreak]

Full Circle - Won't You Come Out to Play?

Part 2

Larissa Weems x fReaderOC

Hello all, so I got a few requests for part 2 of Full Circle! I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm so glad that you liked the first part! There will be a part 3 (smut) but i'm going to tie it in with golf.

~6.8k words.

✂ Song: Dear Prudence by Siouxsie & The Banshees (linked at bottom)

If you need a refresh, pt 1 is here.

Warnings: A bit of misogyny, harassment, alcohol

Tags: @dopenightmaretyphoon @danverssawyer @dingdongthetail @notmeellaannyy @lvinhs @kimiinou @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar @lostmyotheraccount @readingtheentrails

☾☾☾

The next couple weeks were far too busy for your liking. Your boss was calm and kind, but lately she had been busy and stressed, which meant that you were as well. You hadn't had time to venture to the golf course, even though you were missing it dearly.

Something else you were missing dearly, was your father. The anniversary of his death was coming up next week, and you'd be lying if you said that you weren't in a rut.

Sunday, you sat on your couch, soothing your pains with a tub of chocolate ice cream. It was a gorgeous day outside, but nothing you could dream of had the ability to your ass up and moving.

As you sat and wallowed in your self pity, a text lit up your phone. You ignored it at first, until you glanced down and saw who it was from.

Larissa (from golf)

How are you, darling? I haven't seen you in awhile :(

You opened your phone and smiled down at the text. Someone else that you were missing dearly, was Larissa. Since you last golfed with her, you have been slowly coming to the realization that you adored the tall woman. The parts of her that she showed you, and the little that you did know about her, had you thinking about her often, and becoming increasingly enamoured with her.

She was truly gorgeous, inside and out. She was smart, funny, caring, soft, selfless, and just absolutely ravishing. The thought of her had you kicking your feet and blushing. You felt so safe and calm in her presence, she brightened your day whenever you saw her. She was one of a kind, truly.

You have been thinking about what Glen and Tom said, 'She likes women, and she's single.' As giddy as that made you, for some reason, you couldn’t help but question why she was single. Why was a woman, a woman like her, single? Had the gods put this glorious woman loving woman in front of you just to spite you? Just to make you crazy? Perhaps she was crazy? Unattainable? Well, she had twenty years on you, which didn't bother you, but maybe it would bother her.

Yes, that's what she was, unattainable. She was lovely, and as you said, one of a kind. There was nobody else like her, nobody else in her damn league.

You

Hi Larissa! I'm fine, how are you? I've been busy with work, but I hope that you've been at the course enjoying yourself :)

Larissa (from golf)

I've been out with Tom and Glen a few times, it has been fun. It's not as enjoyable without you there, though ;)

You held back a giddy laugh, what a flirt.

You

I miss it :(

Larissa (from golf)

Won't you come out to play next week, Prudence? :)

You

Of course! What day are you free?

Larissa (from golf) <3

Saturday at 5?

You sighed, Saturday was the anniversary of your fathers death.

Alas, what better thing to do on that day besides golf?

You

I can't wait! See you then :)

Larissa (from golf) <3

Take care, darling!

☾☾☾

4-

Saturday had been harder for you than you had anticipated, which was why you found yourself late for golf. You pulled up to the golf course, basically running to the first hole, and found Larissa waiting patiently, wiping down her clubs as she basked in the sun. You trained your eyes on her as you slowed your pace and walked up behind her.

 She truly looked angelic, her light blonde hair becoming gold in the sun, and her figure outlined in a soft glow. You stopped and let yourself breathe for a moment, taking in the sight before you and committing it to memory.

Damn, Glen was right, you did have a crush. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you were downplaying it.

"There you are, love" Larissa smiled, turning around when she felt a presence behind her. She was wearing a light yellow striped polo and a white golf skirt. You had to stop yourself from gasping when your brain registered the image before you.

"Sorry I'm late Larissa. I really have no excuse" you chuckled.

Larissa shook her head and batted her lashes at you, "No worries Prudence, I was just enjoying the sun."

 When you got to hole 5, you were setting up to drive, gauging your swing. It had been a peaceful day so far, you and Larissa had been chatting and taking your time.

You heard a golf cart pull up on the path next to you, and you stopped what you were doing. To your total annoyance, the younger man who had served you the other day, and also made rude comments about Larissa, got out of his cart and walked your way. You heard Larissa mutter 'fuck' under her breath.

"Larissa, you're looking fine, as always" he said with a cocky smile.

"Jake, why are you here?" Larissa's eyebrows quirked up in question, an unamused frown on her face.

Jake gestured to another young man behind him, "Why, Brad and I just wanted some playing time with you ladies." He then gazed past Larissa, and set his eyes on you, looking you up and down.

"I haven't seen this one around before, she any good?" he asked Larissa.

"She is, very good. But I would appreciate it if you would leave us to play by ourselves" Larissa basically spat.

"You want her all to yourself huh?" Brad chimed in.

"I can see why, she's hot" Jake said, chucking and nodding to Brad.

You took a deep breath as you looked to the grass. You didn’t want to do this, ever, but definitely not today.

"I'll make you a deal woman" Jake said, gesturing to you. "Let’s play together. If you beat me on this hole, I'll leave you both alone today; but if I beat you, you have to go on a date with Brad."

Your face fell to one of disgust at his words. And why would you want to go on a date with this pretentious, ugly, lowlife man? Was there a reason anyone would want that?

Larissa was shocked at his bet, and she turned your way to gauge your vibe. You were standing there, leaning against your driver, face scrunched up, repulsed. It brought a little relief to Larissa, knowing that you were in fact, not interested in this cocky man, and that you'd rather stay with her.

She turned back to the boys, her fists tightened beside her body in anger.

"She will be doing no such thing." You let a small smile form on your lips.

"Fine, then I bet you, Larissa. And when I win, you have to go on a date with me."

You let out a loud scoff as Jake's lips curled up into a smirk. You then stepped away from the tee and stood closer to Larissa. You watched as her eyes widened, she would be doing no such thing, no such childish thing.

"I will not be-" "I accept your bet, Jake" you said, interrupting Larissa. Larissa looked down at you, eyebrows set in confusion as she took you in.

"Except when I win, you leave Larissa alone, for good" you stated, indefinitely. Jake chuckled and shook his head, "Fine, deal."

"Ladies before gentlemen" you said, gesturing for him to step up to the tee first. He frowned at you, but pulled his driver and made his way up. You heard Larissa giggle behind you, then you felt butterflies in your stomach over the sound. You didn't want to do this, but if you were going to, you were going to do it right.

As Jake set his tee in the ground as you took the time to plan your hits. It just so happened that you were exceptionally good at this hole. You paid no mind when Jake drove the ball, as it didn't matter anyway. You then set up and drove your pro v1, sending it the same place that Jake's ball had landed.

"Well, let's go" Jake said, hurrying Brad into the cart. You looked up at Larissa and ushered her into the cart, following close behind them. It wouldn't be easy to cheat at golf, but you didn't trust these boys, not for a second.

As you drove down the fairway, Jake stopped at his ball. You didn't know exactly where yours had gone, but it was around this area.

"Here!" Larissa said, pointing to the pro v1 in the grass. You let out a menacing laugh, it had traveled further than Jake's.

You watched as Jake pulled a wedge, and shot his ball to the green. You did the same, sending your pro v1 to the green, and hiding your smirk as you did. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves, you really wanted to impress the older woman. But you were lucky, this was going surprisingly well.

As you played, Jake and Brad murmured comments to each other, some of which you caught.  Sometimes Jake would say sexist things to your face, and every time you would tell him to shut up, or Larissa would spit back at him, but it honestly fueled you to do better.

As you ventured back to the cart to grab your putter, you felt Larissa's hands at your shoulders. She leaned down to your ear from behind, whispering in a way that made you hold back a shiver. "You're doing exceptional darling, show them who's boss."

Her praise was enough for you to end up with a birdie and amusedly watch Jake struggle to sink his ball on par. You watched as Jake threw his club to the ground and cursed, to which you threw your hands in the air and ran over to Larissa.

"Hell yea!" you hollered, jumping up and high fiving her with both hands.

"Great job darling! I knew you could do it, I'm so proud" Larissa said, wrapping her fingers around yours. You blushed as you held her hands, "Well, at least he'll leave you alone now."

You heard Jake and Brad talking loudly behind you, and didn't hesitate to turn and walk up to them. Larissa couldn't hear your conversation from where she was, but she watched as you pressed a finger to Jakes chest, your jaw clenched in anger. Your gaze bore into Jake's eyes, relentlessly speaking.

"If I ever see you talk to Larissa or glance at her inappropriately again, I swear to god I will haunt you forever." And that was that.

You sighed as you finished the last hole on the course and sat in the golf cart. Larissa could see plain as day that you were tired, worn out perhaps, and she placed a hand on the small of your back.

"What's got you down, darling? Tired?" she asked sincerely. You nodded your head, averting her gaze, until you felt a tear trickle down your cheek. Larissa leaned over and wiped it away gently, you turned as your gaze met hers. She looked down at you with worry, her blues silently asking if you were okay.

"It's the anniversary of my fathers death" you murmured.

Her shoulders dropped, "Oh Prudence I'm sorry darling, I didn't know."

You shook your head and looked down at your hands, "No it's okay. I figured there was nothing better for me to do today than golf."

You took a deep breath and looked back up at her, your lower lip wobbling.

"Being with you makes me feel better" you whispered.

Larissa pouted, her arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. You laid your head on her shoulder, the warmth of her body bringing you a sense of peace.

"You did so well today, showing up those immature boys. I know what we should do" Larissa whispered.

You pulled back and tilted your head in question, "What?"

The woman smiled as she stepped on the gas, "We should buy you a new driver!"

Larissa took you to the shop, and you slowly made your way around. There were a few drivers that caught your eye, but there was one in particular that would match your set perfectly. You walked up and checked the price, letting out a hum in thought.

Well, that was an issue. It was very pricey, even though it was on sale.

Larissa watched you ponder over it, then walked to you with a toothy smile.

"This one is nice Prudence, it matches your set perfectly."

You nodded, setting it back on the rack. "It is, it's just a bit pricey."

You walked around some more, pondering the other drivers before settling against the wall and checking your phone. You watched Larissa as she looked through the irons, and you took the time to stealthily check your bank account.

After a couple minutes, you decided that you could afford it, barely. You sighed, walking over to the driver and picking it up.

Larissa had watched you check your phone out of the corner of her eye, she knew what you were doing. She decided in that moment that she wanted to make you feel better, to give you a little joy on this rather depressing day.

"Are you happy with this one?" she asked, taking it from you to look it over.

"Yeah, I guess I'll get it. I really need a new one."

Larissa nodded, handing it back to you. You took it to the counter and gave it to the man, digging for your card.

"$600" the man said, and you almost threw up.

"One sec, I'm just looking for my card" you replied, digging through your bag in a rush.

Larissa took this opportunity and walked up to the counter, then you heard a beep. You stopped your rummaging and turned to her, wide eyed.

"Do you want your receipt?" the man asked. "Yes, please" Larissa replied.

She then took your driver from the man and held it out to you.

"L-Larissa?" you stuttered, not believing for a second what you had just witnessed. Larissa smiled and grabbed your hand as she drug you outside, basically shoving the driver into your hands so that you would take it.

"Why, what, why did you pay for this? I-I can't take this!" you said loudly, beginning to panic. Larissa placed her hands on your shoulders and bent down to your level.

"Shh darling, it's alright. I wanted to do something for you. I want you to know that you deserve to be treated well Prudence, and I want to see you happy."

You took deep breaths, getting lost in her deep blues as you listened to her soft gentle voice. "That's-it's so much money though. I don't want you to spend that on me" you whispered, lip quivering. Larissa smiled and pulled you to her.

She mumbled into your hair, "You're worth it darling. Don't worry about the money, because I'm not worried about it."

You almost laughed, you couldn't help but think that only a rich person would say something like that. Your breathing settled as you focused on her heartbeat against yours. Tears gathered in your eyes over this rather emotional day, and you buried your head into her chest and held her tighter. "Thank you, Larissa."

☾☾☾

You were practicing your putting skills with a friend after work. Mark was very good at his job, and he had helped you out with many things since you started. He had just gotten into golf, so in turn you offered to teach him a few things.

Larissa made her way to the entrance of the clubhouse, doing a double take when she spotted you. Her heartbeat picked up, you weren't hard to notice, your distinct look and beauty made you easy for her to spot. She tilted her head in question as she watched you converse with a man, helping him out by adjusting his arms and putter.

Larissa obviously knew how to putt, but in that moment she wished that she didn't. She wished that she needed help with something just like that.

She watched as the man took his try at putting, then he leaned in close to you and whispered in your ear. Larissa's eyebrows furrowed as she took in the scene before her, and she felt herself become a bit defensive. She didn't really know why, but she felt a little, bothered? She wanted to march over to you and interrupt, push herself in between the two of you.

Perhaps she was jealous?

"Do you have the things?" Mark whispered to you, hoping nobody would hear. You tried your best not to let out a laugh, he was being so secretive about something so normal. You reached into your jacket pocket and handed him a brown paper bag that contained condoms. Mark was a sweet and quiet man, and he and his girlfriend were not very outgoing souls. He asked you recently if you'd get him some condoms, as he was too nervous to buy them in public. You were glad that he felt comfortable with you, and you understood where he was coming from, you didn't mind helping a friend out.

Larissa headed towards the washroom, her legs taking her there without question. That man didn't seem like a threat, well, why would he be anyway? It was alright if you liked men, it was alright if you were with someone. She wasn't with you, she really didn't even know you that well. Yet, she couldn't help but be bothered by it.

She quickly shifted into the form of a middle aged man in light golf attire and exited the washroom, making her way to the putting green. When she got to the green she pulled out her putter and eyed you as you were practicing your technique.

The man was gone, hopefully, and you were rather focused on your ball. Larissa's eyes raked over your form, from your determined expression, to your outfit, to your shoes, to your club, to... she looked down at the green and caught something gold on the ground. Was that…a condom?

'Alright, a little more to the left, don’t hit it so hard' you thought to yourself.

"Hi there" a tall man greeted, smiling down at you. You tilted your head in surprise as you looked up at him. He spoke with a British accent, had very light hair, wore pristine attire, and looked rather...well you'd say it, prude.

"Hi" you replied, offering a light smile. As you took him in, you noticed his blue eyes and pale skin, and you couldn't help but think that he'd be perfect for Larissa, if she were into men. You quickly clenched your fist at the thought. Thinking of Larissa with someone else, a man especially, made you bothered, outraged.

Perhaps you were jealous?

"Drop something there, darling?" the man asked, gesturing to the ground. You gazed down as you followed his line of sight, and your eyes landed on a gold wrapper. You pursed your lips in embarrassment as you realized that you had dropped a condom.

"Oh, uh, that's not mine" you lied. The man walked closer to you, bending down and picking it up almost right under your feet.

"Not yours?" he asked, holding it in his hand. You stared at it for a second, feeling embarrassed by the situation. It just felt weird, dropping this, of all things, at a golf course and a man, of all people, finding it.

You shook your head, "Nope" you said, popping the p when you did. The man shrugged and shoved it into his pocket, nodding and bidding you a good day.

Larissa knew that was a weird encounter, and that it would leave you confused. She couldn't help it, though, why did you have a condom? It had to be yours, it was under your feet, and you were the only one on the putting green. You looked really, really embarrassed, even guilty when she had asked about it. There was nothing wrong with having condoms, obviously, but she couldn't help but wonder why you had them. You were far too sweet, to pure to be in the hands of a man. She could take care of you better than any man could, in many ways.

There were hints that she had gotten from you that made her think you may fancy her, but she has been fooled before. She hoped that you were not messing around with men, and she really hoped that you were into women, into her.

☾☾☾

5-

Today you were out with Tom, Glen, and Larissa, and you had no bad feelings about a certain slimy dude slithering around. On top of that, you were really excited to use your new driver. Larissa warned the elder men that she may be late, so Tom and Glen decided to start without her.

"Nice driver you got there" Tom said, admiring the driver in your hands.

"You save up fast, huh?" he added with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at him, you knew by the look on his face that he was messing with you, these old men seemed to know everything.

At the second hole, you watched Glen tee off. You always took note of his technique, as his drives were the best you've seen. Well, besides Larissa's, of course. You suddenly felt long fingers lay themselves gently over your eyes from behind, and you let out a yelp in surprise. You got a whiff of rose and frankincense as a smooth accent filled your ears. "Who is it?" Larissa asked, murmuring against your hair.

You couldn't help but smile wide as instant happiness flowed through you.

"Larissa!" you beamed, turning around and gazing lovingly at the tall woman. Your smile got bigger, if that was even possible, when you saw her toothy grin looking down at you with joy.

She adorned a white sleeveless dress, and her light aesthetic, including her creamy skin, made you feel a bit insignificant, insecure. She was the sun, her smile and warm personality lighting up your day with ease. She was the embodiment of life, she was vital to get you through the day, everyday.

And you were, well, perhaps the darkness, perhaps death. Your aesthetic was dark, your thoughts were even darker, and you did not shine in the way that she did.

You thought for a moment that maybe you two needed each other, like the sun and the moon, to balance out. That thought quickly faded though, as you were not the moon. The moon was far too bright, far too intelligent, and absolutely nothing would, or should, change her in anyway, dull her light in the slightest.

Tom chuckled, "Oh, so now Rudy smiles." Larissa's brows furrowed as she turned her attention to Tom, "What? Who?" she asked confused.

"You wouldn't have anything to do with Rudy's new driver there, would you Riss?" Glen asked, changing the topic.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Larissa replied, pulling out her 3 wood. Glen looked to Tom and laughed amusedly, making his way over to you. He leaned in and winked, "Good going girl, got her spending money on ya already."

As the day progressed, you came to realize that your old driver was in fact, holding you back. You were an excellent player, and you knew that, but this driver gave you that extra push you needed to travel yards further.

"I'm surprised Jake isn't up Rissa's ass. I haven't seen him around lately, have you?" Tom asked Glen. "No, I haven't seen him" Glen answered, a smile pulling at his lips. Larissa chuckled and looked at the old men in wonder, "What are you two up to?"

Tom raised a brow, "I was just wondering what happened to him, he seemed to be all over you." You furrowed your brows at the men, the way they were talking was obviously sarcastic, and you couldn't help but think that they were hiding something.

"Last I heard little miss here challenged him for Larissa" Glen said, smirking your way. You blushed. "Last I heard he got fired" Tom added. Your eyes went wide, fired? Had you gotten him fired? No, no, he had've gotten himself fired.

"What?" Larissa asked, her mouth opening in surprise. The old men laughed. She narrowed her eyes at them, "Did you two have anything to do with it?!"

The old men looked at each other, "No, no. Wasn't us" Tom said, putting his hands up in surrender. "We would never" Glen added, winking at the woman.

You stepped on the gas of the golf cart, driving Larissa to her car after 14 holes. She had meetings with the board today, which was her reason for being late, and why she had to leave early. You were thankful that she came out today at all, considering how busy her day seemed to be. Yet, you couldn't help but be disappointed at her leaving.

You drove down the path to the parking lot, going full speed. You didn't speak, as your dark thoughts were, for some reason, taking over. You felt suddenly tired and frustrated, like you didn't have the energy to finish the game, not without her.

A rabbit caught you off guard as it fled the line of trees on the right side of the road and ran in front of your cart. You swerved in an attempt to not hurt the animal, almost falling off of the path as you did. You watched out of the corner of your eye as Larissa squealed and gripped the handle of the cart, as your quick turn almost sent her flying out.

"Shit Riss!" you screamed, reaching out and grabbing her by the arm to pull her back in. You set the cart straight once more, and finally reached the parking lot. When you stopped, your heart beat fast, you realized that you were holding onto Larissa like she was your lifeline.

Larissa looked at you with a shocked expression before she burst into laughter. You watched as she threw her head back as a loud laugh racked through her body, her hand coming to squeeze yours.

Her laughter was contagious, despite your depressing and frightened mood, you laughed with her. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you were feeling a myriad of emotions. You could never live with yourself if you had hurt this gift of a woman.

"Darling, that was almost the end of me" she giggled, eyes closed as she tried to compose herself. Tears fell slowly from your eyes as you thought about it. You knew that she was joking, but the possibility of hurting this precious woman wrapped your insides in thick rope and forced them out of your throat. You felt like you may throw up.

"Prudence, what's wrong?" she asked, leaning closer to you with a new found serious expression. You wiped at your eyes and chuckled, "Nothing Riss, I'm really sorry" you murmured. Larissa caught your lousy attempt to hide your tears, and she pulled you tight against her.

"That was fun darling, let’s do it again."

You looked up at her, your eyes glimmering with tears and apologies. "Really?" you whispered.

"Of course, love. Would you be up for night golf? On Friday?"

You smiled, night golf sounded fun, you haven't done that in a long while. "Yes, please."

You drove back to meet Tom and Glen at hole 15, digging out your hybrid. You were quiet for awhile, and Glen and Tom took note of that.

"She likes you, you know" Glen said, walking your way with Tom following behind. You shook your head in disbelief. "No, she doesn't" you chuckled sadly.

"She does Rudy, she told us" Tom admitted. You gazed up at the older men in surprise, but said nothing.

"Did she invite you to night golf?" Glen asked.

"Yeah, she did" you nodded.

Tom smiled, "She wants to get to know you better. She said something about you making her feel younger, making her feel special. I suppose she likes playing with you for the same reason that we like playing with her, but different."

You sniffled as you thought about it, maybe they were right, maybe they weren't always pests.

"I like her, a lot" you mumbled. The older men smiled at each other before Glen placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Okay, here's what you're going to do."

☾☾☾

On Thursday, you found yourself at the mall. You wanted, no needed, a wardrobe update. You often wore pants to golf, but Larissa had inspired you to branch out. You tried on a few golf dresses and skirts, finding enough confidence to buy a black sleeveless dress and a red skirt. You always thought that Larissa looked delectable in her outfits, and you wanted to keep up with her.

Glen and Tom actually gave you some good advice, planning something that you thought would be rather successful, if you could stick to it.

Some days, you were not confident in yourself. You have always been this way, but you worked through it.

Larissa however, was always perfect. Her non judgemental and caring personality made you feel safe under her gaze, but you couldn't help but think that she was too beautiful for someone such as yourself.

When you got home, you couldn't help but feel giddy as you downed some red wine, excited to see Larissa tomorrow night. You tried on your white polo with your red skirt, and decided that it was as close as you'd get to Larissa.

As close as you'd get to being the light, the goddess, the life that she embodied.

For she was the sun, and you revolved around her.

☾☾☾

6-

As the night began to fall dark, you scanned the outside of the clubhouse. You needed a drink (or two) for courage, as you went over Glen and Tom's plan in your head.

It was simple, make a bet with Larissa, win. Make a bet with Larissa, win. Make a bet with Larissa, wi- "Good evening, love."

You whipped your head around to find Larissa marvelling down at you. She was wearing a sage green golf dress, and she looked absolutely exquisite.

"Hi Riss!" you beamed, your heart beat picking up rapidly.

"Are you ready to play, Pru?" She looked down at your drink and side smirked, "Or do you want to have a drink first?"

You nodded as you scootched over a seat and gestured for her to sit. The waiter brought her a glass of red and she held it out to you as her other hand landed softly on your thigh.

"To the end of the summer" Larissa smiled.

You clicked your glass to hers, "To the end of the summer."

The night was beautiful. Many stars were out, shining in the vastness of space and displaying their infinite beauty. The course felt different in the dark, but you liked different. The artificial lights lit up the night peacefully, and you were excited. Nervous, giddy, scared, and excited. There weren't a lot of people playing tonight, and for that you were grateful.

As you and Larissa started hole three, you put the plan into action. You knew that if you waited any longer, you would wait until the game was over. Yes, you were a master of procrastination.

"Hey Riss?" you asked, fidgeting with your hands as you stared from behind. She was setting up to tee off, but the timidness in your voice made her turn around. She walked closer, not stopping until she was directly in front of you.

"Yes, darling?" You tried so hard to hide your smile, your enamour, your nervousness, your feelings, but as you looked up at her, you were almost positive that the truth was written in your eyes.

"Do you want to make a bet?"

You watched as Larissa's eyebrows raised, but her smile never faltered.

"What kind of bet?"

You instantly blushed, looking down at the grass and composing yourself. You looked back up at her, some confidence finding you as you replayed Glen and Tom's words in your head. 'She likes you, you know.' 'She does Rudy, she told us.'

"We will keep score from now until the last hole. If you beat me, well, you can choose whatever you want, but if I beat you.." You took a breath, "If I beat you, I get to kiss you."

Larissa's eyes widened, as did her smile, before she put on a façade, tilting her head to show that she was pondering accepting or denying.

"I suppose I'm down with that, but I'm not telling you what I want until I win" she winked.

You smirked and nodded as relief washed over you, "Fair."

You put your everything into the game. You truly did your best, praying and even manifesting, which you had never tried before, that you'd get to kiss this absolute goddess.

Larissa however, also played her best, which was slightly better than yours. She found it adorable that you had thought of this bet and had the confidence to carry it out, all because you wanted to kiss her. She was proud of you, she was happy, actually she wanted to scream with joy.

You, a beautiful and kind young woman that she admired, that she adored, that she was infatuated with, wanted to kiss her, an old and fragile woman.

Yet, she had a plan of her own, and it didn't involve you winning.

As the game went on, your instincts told you every now and then that someone was watching you. Larissa felt the same, she knew that you were staring her down as well. She blushed and shook her head discreetly, hoping you wouldn't catch her infatuation. She knew that you couldn't take your eyes off of her, just as she couldn't take hers off of you.

When you got to hole 6, you took a washroom break. Larissa was nowhere to be seen when you returned. You looked around as you pulled your driver, and found that you were all alone.

"Riss?" The dark frightened you. You always felt like something, or someone, was going to come out of the woods for you. You placed your tee in the ground while searching nervously for Larissa, perhaps she also went to the washroom. You realized that her clubs were set close to yours, so she couldn't be far.

You shrugged as you lined up your driver, ready to send this bad boy flying and win the bet. Just as you took a practice swing, you heard rustling in the woods. You froze, staring wide eyed into the darkness. Where was this woman? Being alone was starting to creep you out. You shook away your freight, and slowly walked closer to the line of trees.

You stared into nothingness for a moment, finding nothing and hearing the same. You hummed questioningly and turned away, planning on ignoring whatever you had heard, but as you turned and took a step, you felt arms wrap around you and pull you into the bushes.

You screamed as you fell onto your ass, grunting when you landed. You then heard laughter, menacing laughter. No, it wasn't menacing, it was charming.

"Darling, are you quite alright?" she asked through giggles. You turned quickly, meeting Larissa's entertained gaze. "Larissa!" you squealed, swatting at her as you threw yourself into the woman. You pushed her playfully onto her back, hovering over her as she chuckled.

You giggled at her antics, "What the fuck!"

Larissa cupped your face in her hands as she looked up at you. She winked, "I got you."

You were pulled away from your putting when Larissa cooed "You look absolutely ravishing in that outfit, darling." Your jaw dropped as you stared down at the green, a harsh blush appearing on your face. You chuckled nervously, "Uh, thank you Riss. I thought I would expand my wardrobe."

Larissa crept closer to you, close enough to brush her fingers across your waist.

"Very good choice" she whispered. You quickly turned around to face the tall woman, she was closer than you had expected.

You narrowed your eyes at her, "Are you trying to throw me off?"

Larissa smirked and leaned in closer, "I don't have to throw you off in order to win, love."

You swallowed hard, your breathing becoming ragged. This woman knew how to flirt, and damn did she get you going.

At hole 9, you were almost shaking with anticipation. Oh god, why did you think this was a good idea?! You wanted to win, but you also didn't. Alas, you had no choice in the matter as Larissa was a few strokes ahead of you, and you knew that there was slim chance you could win now.

You focused on the game, not saying a word as you acted unbothered by Larissa's soon to be victory. You watched in disappointment as she sunk the ball, and you followed. At this later hour, the night was black, only artificial light allowing you vision.

Defeated, you sighed as you placed your clubs into your bag and sat in the passenger seat of the cart. Larissa didn't allow you to sit for long, however, as she pulled you gently up and placed her hands on your waist.

"This was so fun Prudence, it's always delightful playing with you."

Larissa spoke quietly, and with a sincere expression that made you weak in the knees. You had hugged this woman a few times before, but the feeling of her warm hands on your waist and her face so close to yours made you quiver. She was a vision, half of her lit up in an orange yellow glow, and the rest, darkness.

You smiled, placing your hands on her arms, "It's always a pleasure, Larissa."

You were never the best at picking up on vibes. Yet, the way that Larissa was holding you and gazing down at you, along with the elder men's confirmation, gave you enough confidence to take a chance. You wanted to take it back as soon as you whispered it, but it felt like a reflex, it felt right.

"I like you a lot, Larissa." Larissa's eyes widened as she gazed down at you. She wasn't surprised at what you had admitted, but she was surprised that you actually admitted it.

Actually scratch that, she was surprised. She had hoped and prayed that you had feelings for her, but she never let herself believe that you could, until she heard the words come out of your mouth.

You held your breath as she smiled wide, scrunching her nose up as her eyes crinkled. You swear you'd never get tired of seeing her smile like that.

Larissa quickly pulled you closer to her, your face ending up in the crook of her neck. You breathed in deeply, your heart settling at the smell of her skin.

"I like you a lot too, Prudence."

Your face lit up with joy immediately. You were elated, surprised that she would admit it. Or perhaps you didn't believe that she could like you back, not until you heard it from her velvet voice.

Happy tears slowly gathered in your eyes as you spoke. "I-I really like you Riss. You're absolutely gorgeous, you're funny, you're a joy to be around, your smile lights up my day." You pulled back slightly, cupping her cheek. "I just want to squeeze your cute face every time I see you" you chuckled.

You then frowned as tears threatened to spill. "I can't help but think that you're too good for me, though, too good for anyone. I mean, I don't have a great job, I don't know what I want, some days I can't get out of bed, I'm anxious, I'm insecure, I'm-" Larissa cut you off before you could say anything further with a soft kiss. You shivered as your nose brushed against hers, and then you felt her warm lips on your own. You hummed as you revelled in the feeling, hands wrapping around her neck to pull her closer.

Larissa pulled away slowly, her lips now just unreachable.

"Don't put yourself down, darling. I'm not too good for you. I won the bet, and that's what I wanted. This is what I want" she whispered.

You blushed profusely, hiding your face in the woman's neck as you smiled.

"Thank you Rissa" you murmured, kissing her neck lightly.

Larissa took in a shuddering breath at the contact, she didn't want to let you go.

"Would you like to come back to my place, darling?"

As you two walked off of the course hand in hand, you couldn't help but admire her. You felt so nervous that you could pass out, but her presence brought you all the peace. As you marvelled up at the woman in the dark, you realized something.

She was the sun, you were the moon, and you couldn't help but think that the she belonged with the darkness.

☾☾☾

[sitp-recs]

Hello dear Liv! I just wanted to pop into your ask box and tell you how ecstatic and grateful I am to see you around again. I missed you dearly — as one of my favourite reccers and someone who is so integral to my (and so many others’) fandom experience, it is such a gift to have you back! Your reclists are the most thoughtfully curated and crafted with so much love and care. What you do is so, so, so important and I am thankful everyday to share this space with you. ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for everything you do!! All my love <3

Ahh Kat!!! This made me tear up first thing in the morning, I was not expecting to start my Sunday feeling so emotional 🥺 thank you for taking the time to write such a kind and generous message. I’ve been around, just not as active as I used to be a couple years back. 2024 has been full of ups and down (not just for me, I’m sure!) and it’s hard to stay engaged when you’re not reading much. At some point I completely lost my muse for single recs, but I loved hearing your thoughts on the lists - they were not the initial purpose of this blog but I’m happy to serve as long as people find them helpful :)

Your message was very special and a great boost of serotonin, thank you my darling! I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself, and here’s to hoping that 2024.2 will be generous and give us time and energy to enjoy fandom at its fullest 💜

[sacredstarcatcher]

Cruel Summer - Part 8

Jake x Reader x Sam

Warnings: Shower sex, alcohol, language, angst, fluff. Not in that order.

A/N: Thanks for being here if you've made it this far. Mondays are the best day of the week because of all of you. <3 Special shoutout to my reader/editor/biggest fan, I love you dearly.

Your return from LA left you with three weeks of summer before school started again. You spent most days with Sam, enjoying as much as you could together without parading around Nashville and being noticed, either by a fan or one of his own numerous family members. The guilt was still hanging heavy in the air over the two of you, the stress of sneaking around ever-present. Still, you didn’t speak about it.

The guilt aside, days with Sam were peaceful and easy. Once the pickles you made together were ready, you watched him as he pulled the first jar of pickles from the fridge and popped open the jar with impressive strength, the veins in his hands showing the strain as he twisted the lid. That paired with the loud pop echoing through the kitchen meant there was a good seal, and they had come out just right. He held out the first bite to you, letting you taste test. It turns out he was absolutely right; you would miss him and his secret pickle recipe you didn’t listen to if he just so happened to end up getting struck by lightning or whatever he said. 

Sometimes, you would spend the day at home. There was the afternoon you decided to paint in the backyard. You watched as Sam stood around in the #1 Dad shirt you thrifted, dripping paint on it while mixing colors, spilling paint-water in the grass as he held the cup out of Rosie’s reach when she tried to drink it. He pulled his hair back in a low bun as he knelt down and worked on something a little abstract, his brow occasionally knitting in concentration. He held the tiny brush between his fingers and delicately added brushstrokes, and sometimes he took a bigger brush in his entire fist, letting his creative genius take over. His painting got weirder as he went on, but it all made sense when you realized how drunk he had gotten drinking seltzer in the sun. He abandoned the masterpiece halfway through and the two of you took an afternoon nap. 

Then there were days you would adventure together. Your favorite was the day you rode bikes- taking a trip out about an hour from home and renting a pair of them to drive around the trails. Eventually you got to the waterfall, where you cooled off and shared more than a few sweet kisses in the little cave behind the rushing water, his ears sticking out through his wet hair, giggles echoing in the space that was all your own; as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

Watching Sam’s skin get tanner as you spent the summer days with him made you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Between evenings in the hammock looking at the sky, mornings tangled in the sheets as the sunlight made his eyes shine the sweetest honey brown, and afternoons eating sandwiches with a pickle on the side, you were the happiest you had ever been. 

It wasn’t lost on you, however, that Josh, Jake, and Danny had completely fallen off your radar. You were so wrapped up in each other that you didn’t spare a thought for them over those two weeks. They were all but radio silent until Jake texted Sam, asking him to water his plants when he went out of town for the weekend. 

That’s how you ended up in Jake’s house with Sam on a Sunday afternoon. 

-oOo-

“We can’t drink his wine while he’s away. He’s definitely going to notice,” you say, admonishing Sam. “That’s the good stuff. He likes his reds. Put it back.” 

Sam laughs and ignores you, twisting the opener. The cork pops from the bottle and there’s no turning back. He smirks as he pours each of you a glass.

“It’s not like he keeps a catalog. He won’t notice.” He slides the glass towards you. “I’ll even take the bottle with me when we leave.” Sam holds his up by the stem, gently clinking it against yours. You roll your eyes and take a sip, realizing that there were some sibling dilemmas you could and should stay out of. Though the dilemma you were actually in dwarfed the wine issue infinitely.

“You know, I really think this house is haunted,” Sam muses, taking another drink as he waits for the watering can to fill with water. “I mean, don’t you feel that?” He scrunches up his shoulders as if he’s got the creeps. “Something just feels off.”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts.” You shake your head with a smile, affectionately looking at Sam and his goofy display. He makes his way around the first floor of Jake’s house, watering the plants. You meander around too, trying to avoid remembering the things that happened on the kitchen table, or against the front door, or right up the steps. Your mind is in another place when you turn a corner at the same time as Sam, knocking into each other. The wine in your glass ends up in your hair and all over your white t-shirt. 

“Oh fuck, sorry. Oh my god.” He runs into the kitchen to grab a towel as you stand where you are, burgundy wine dripping from your hair and shirt. He zooms back in and cleans up the excess, mumbling to himself. Once he pats your hair dry, he throws the towel over his shoulder and cups your cheeks in his hands.

“Sorry.” He kisses you gently, once. “I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.” He gives you another, his lips soft and lingering just a little longer. “I’ll buy you a hundred more.” He comes in for another tender kiss.

You can’t help but smile against his lips as he expresses his dramatic remorse. It’s not the end of the world, but you let him kiss you anyway. You pull him closer, slipping your hand just under the light fabric of his unbuttoned shirt, pressing your fingertips to his tan, warm skin.

“I don’t need a hundred more.” You mumble against his lips. He deepens the kiss and you can’t silence the moan from the back of your throat. His tongue, so gentle as it meets yours, tastes of Jake’s favorite red wine. It makes your stomach flip. 

“Fine. Just one then. Maybe two.” Sam moves to press gentle kisses to your throat, his voice low and meant just for you. You cling to him in the front room of Jake’s home, the blinds open to the street outside. It’s wrong. But you can’t resist when he holds you firmly by your waist, bringing you snug to him. “Do you forgive me?”

“Sammy..” you chide, because you were never mad at him in the first place. As if calling him by the sweetest name spurs him on, he immediately kisses you again, this time with more urgency. He groans softly against your lips, and if you had any reservations about doing this in Jake’s house, they were all erased the moment you heard it. Your body curves up to his as his tongue slips gently against yours and he pulls you in tighter by the small of your back.

He sighs against your lips between kisses, his hand coming up to push your hair behind your ear and cup your jaw. He reacts a bit when he realizes it’s wet and sticky with wine.

“Why don’t you come upstairs with me… and let me wash your hair, huh? I made a mess of you, didn’t I?” He gently kisses the shell of your ear after whispering to you. You shake your head gently against his, letting out a little laugh. “He doesn’t come back until tomorrow.”

“You’re pushing your luck,” you say, knowing what he’s up to. “Not here.” 

Sam, the ever persistent and quietly brilliant man he is, knows exactly how to magnificently weaponize himself against you. He pulls you in for one more kiss, tugging your body towards his. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, and when he releases it, he lets out a breathy, slutty whine. The way it changes your mind immediately is something that scientists should really look into- it’s the most powerful drug that’s ever hit your system.

“Okay,” you say breathlessly into his mouth. “Okay, yeah. Upstairs.” 

It’s a minute before you’re all hands and mouths inside the guest bathroom of Jake’s house. Sam holds you and leans over to turn on the shower as you keep yourself busy, kissing and nipping at his neck. You can’t get enough of the taste of him, and you latch on to the skin below his collarbone, sucking and biting. He didn’t have a show for weeks. Nobody would see. 

He hisses at the pain, chuckling and standing up straight again once the water’s on. He makes quick work of tossing your stained t-shirt across the room. You watch him as he undresses you- his eyes taking in every inch of skin they can find, his lips curved into a soft smirk.

His shirt, already unbuttoned, slides off with ease and hits the floor to lay with the rest of your clothing. He steps out of his shorts and is soon navigating the two of you into the shower. The warm water runs over both of you and you pull him in for another messy kiss.

You break for a moment as he pulls your hair over your shoulder, and then you take a look at your surroundings. You had only ever seen the shower in Jake’s room. This one’s different. It’s tiled with white on the walls and blue on the floor. The corner has a bench built into it, the shimmering navy terrazo of the seat glistening as water runs over it. The moment you lay eyes on it, your eyes dart back up to Sam’s with a devilish glint in them.

“Oh, he never showed you this?” he says smartly, and you pinch at his hip bone as if to silently tell him to shut the hell up.

“Sit,” is all you say instead, and he obeys immediately. You crawl into his lap and he holds you close, the warm water running down your back and over your hair, your body shielding him from the spray. The angle allows you to look down at him and you see his warm, pleading eyes. You lower your hips, feeling the length of him slide easily against you, pulling a moan from both of you.

“Mm, yeah,” he lets out, his hands on your hips. “Do that again.” 

Just like that, he’s back in control, even from below. You oblige, rolling your hips again, a slick, lewd feeling that makes your cheeks flush. His head falls back and you can’t help but be pleased with yourself.

“Feel good?” you ask, snatching back control. He lifts his head, looking down at what you’re doing. He nods, sparing a glance up at you through his dark lashes.  

“Want it inside, hmm?” he asks, a little breathless, the tug of war between you two waging on.

“Yeah,” you let out, letting him have this one. Your voice is whiny as you hold steady on his tan shoulders. 

“Yeah you do,” he croons, a smug look on his face now that he’s won. “Go on.” 

Without hesitating, you listen, lining him up and sinking down easily. 

“Oh,” he lets out, and you smirk, butterflies in your stomach over the way you can make him do that. He breathes heavily as you begin to move your hips, bouncing slowly. His eyes are raking over your chest, your neck, your face. His expression is a mix between amazement and hunger.

Wanting, needing to see his reactions as you work to please him, you sink down a little quicker, moans coming from both of you at the feeling. 

“Like that. Keep going.” He remains in control as he adjusts the way he’s sitting, his hips lifting a little higher as he slouches just a bit for you. You keep your balance on the towel bar and his shoulder, starting to move faster and harder. You could get drunk off the way his eyes roll back slightly in his head every now and then as you carry on. It makes a fire burn in your belly, your heart racing as you ride him. 

As if he can read your mind, his hand moves down to swirl lightly over your clit, immediately sending your eyes rolling back, your face and chest flushing scarlet with the heat of your oncoming orgasm. It’s almost criminal how good he looks when you lay eyes on him, his mouth in a soft, almost starstruck smile as he watches you. 

“Give it to me,” he whispers, and there’s no way you could have stopped yourself. You fall over the edge, crying out his name, your hand gripping to his shoulder so tightly you’re sure there will be scratches later. He chuckles in amazement, murmuring praises as you come down. 

“There you go…,” he praises, his hand moving from your hips now that you’re not at quite as big a risk of falling. His thumb grazes your nipple, adoring you, admiring you as you catch your breath. “Slow down for me,” he says, still holding the reins. 

Your eyes come back into focus, moving slowly and a little shakily. Something about the sight of him- the way his ears stuck out in front of the wet hair pushed behind his ear, the few strands stuck to his forehead, the droplets running down his bicep and chest… it unleashes something in you. 

Completely disregarding his request, you speed up, enjoying the feeling of him slick and fast inside of you. His eyes go wide as he scrambles to grab your hips, trying to steady you, but it’s no use. You carry on, watching the way his brow furrows in concentration.

“Slow down, pretty girl,” he warns, his voice cracking, an overwhelmed laugh leaving his chest. Smirking with heavy eyes, you tilt your chin up, watching him down the bridge of your nose. A soft whimper escapes your lips at the sight of him almost desperate beneath you, his hands trying to hold you still. The sight of him flustered, his sweet eyes begging you to slow down only fuels you. 

“I’m- Oh, fuck…” he groans, his eyes squeezing shut. He takes a big deep breath, trying to keep a grip on his slipping composure. You slow down for just a moment, giving him a break to breathe, and he gives you a look that says, ‘wait, what are you doing?!’ with his thick brows. Your eyes roll at his bratty attitude and he makes up your mind for you. You were going to let him win, but not anymore.

He gasps as you pick up the pace again, fucking him with quick, short, punctuated movements of your hips. It’s only seconds before he’s gripping your hips and ass so hard you’re sure there will be bruises. His voice is thin and hoarse as you listen to him groan, starting curses and not finishing them, squeezing his eyes shut. 

You watch with determined eyes as his abdomen flexes, the muscles in his sides rippling as he comes undone, fucking him through it until he’s completely spent inside you. 

Pushing the strands of wet hair stuck to his forehead aside, you offer him a sweet smile and eyes full of adoration. All he can do is shake his head and chuckle, pulling you down to him for a loving kiss. 

“What are the chances I can convince you to remodel your bathroom?” you ask, standing up to actually take your shower.

“No convincing necessary. I’ll start making calls.” Sam laughs a bit as he helps you wet your hair, finally washing the wine out.

-oOo-

After successfully using all of Jake’s hot water, the two of you step out and get dried off. Sam wraps a towel around his hips and takes a smaller one for his hair. 

“What time is it?” you ask, seeing the sky getting darker. You towel off, standing in the shower.

“Dunno. I left my phone downstairs.” He opens the bathroom door and you hear him pad down the steps. Grabbing the blow dryer under the sink, you wrap a towel around you before giving it a quick dry. You don’t hear another sound over the whirring around your head.

Meanwhile, Sam makes his way downstairs in his towel, running a hand through his wet hair as he goes. He steps into the kitchen and grabs his phone, checking the time. Waiting for him are three missed calls from Jake. 

Before he hits Jake’s name to return the call, he hears the beeping of the code being entered into the front door. Sam’s head snaps up to see Jake, back early. His heart drops, the blood draining from his face.

“Hey,” Jake says, pulling his duffle bag through the door. “I wrapped up early. Tried to call you and tell you not to bother with the plants.” He steps past Sam into the kitchen, putting the mail down on the counter. “Seems you made yourself comfortable anyway,” he remarks with a chuckle, seeing Sam’s shirtless in a towel.

Sam’s face is unreadable. He’s not sure what option he has here. He chooses to laugh awkwardly, frozen in place, staring at the door, brain working overtime to come up with some kind of plan. 

The clicking of Jake’s boots stops, the room utterly silent. Sam turns around to face Jake and sees his brow furrowed as if he’s listening. He hears the hairdryer. Jake’s eyes move to Sam’s guilty face, then to the counter behind him where the two wine glasses sit. 

Jake’s face has dropped, a scowl now clearly spread across his lips and brows. It feels like an eternity passes as they stare at each other. 

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Jake asks, dead serious. 

Sam just blinks for a moment, swallowing. His mouth has gone dry. 

“Who?”

Jake leans on the counter and his fingers go to the bridge of his nose. He lets out a huff.

“You think I’m stupid?” Jake’s voice is quiet, controlled. “I saw you leave the fucking show together. I tried to write it off as her treading lightly around me but… now… NOW I get it.” His voice raises the slightest bit and Sam frowns. 

There’s a pause, the room dead silent aside from the sound of you upstairs drying your hair, absentmindedly humming.

“So… what? Are you mad?” Sam braces his hands behind him on the counter and crosses his legs. The tone of his voice is a little too nonchalant, and it sets Jake off.

“Am I mad?” Jake’s voice is loud and he pounds a fist on the countertop, his stare incredulous as he shouts. “What the fuck do you think, Sam? You didn’t think for one goddamn second that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t fuck her? For any reason?” 

Sam doesn’t flinch at the way Jake raises his voice- as if he’s used to the temper that hides beneath the surface. The blow dryer upstairs turns off. You think you hear voices over the white noise so you wait and listen curiously.

Instead of reacting to Jake , he steps towards the fridge to grab a drink. The crack of the can is the only sound you hear, so you turn the dryer back on and continue what you’re doing. 

Sam takes a deep breath before he responds to Jake. 

“It’s not my fault you couldn’t give her what she wanted.” He sips the top of the can, his big eyes giving Jake a look that says, “too bad.”

“I was fucking trying, Sam. You know-...” He trails off, his anger getting the best of him as he pushes away from the counter, a loud, “FUCK” echoing through the house. He turns back to Sam after a moment, his eyes tired and dark. “You know that shit is hard for me.” 

You heard the voices for sure that time. You turn off the dryer in a panic and listen again. This time, you can make out some murmuring as you creep towards the top of the stairs.

“You didn’t tell her that. You told her the exact opposite, actually.” Sam lets out a humorless chuckle, taking another sip. “You told her if she wanted to find someone who wanted to be exclusive… Give her… I believe the terms were ‘a house and a dog’... she could go find them. So? She did.” His shoulders shrug, his wet hair dangling over them.

“I didn’t expect it to be my fucking BROTHER, Sam!” Jake throws up his arms, the frustration in his voice coming through clear as a bell. “Are you not getting that!?”

You hear it all upstairs, frozen where you stand on the top step. You’re completely numb, heart beating out of your chest, every one of your nerves frayed and on fire. 

Sam doesn’t respond to Jake. It’s quiet for another moment before Jake pipes up, his voice quieter now.

“You want to give that to her?” He scoffs, a condescending laugh coming from deep in his chest. “Be honest, Sammy boy. You’ll be cheating again in a year.”

Sam puts his drink down, his face screwed up in offense. He’s defensive, but his voice remains calm. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh yeah?” A cruel smirk makes its way onto Jake’s face. He raises his eyebrows at Sam in disbelief. 

“I love her.” 

You take a step back in shock at Sam’s admission to Jake. It’s then that the worn floorboards of Jake’s old home creak underneath your feet and give you away. Both of their heads turn to look at the stairs as you step down a few and step into view. You see the way they’re looking at you and can’t help but start to cry.

Jake stares at you standing in one of his baggy t-shirts, since yours is laid over the chair in front of him, covered in wine. Your hair is still slightly damp and messy, your makeup long gone, your eyes red. He walks off from where he’s standing, snatching his keys from the table. 

“You better not be here when I get back,” he says to Sam. You’re frozen, unable to say anything, too scared to stop him. He flies out the door, slamming it behind him.  

-oOo- 

The drive home from Jake’s house to Sam’s is silent. You assume Sam can’t be too mad at you, seeing as he picked you up today. He could have very well dumped you off at your apartment and gone home alone, but he didn’t. Once he parks, the two of you get out and are standing in front of each other in the garden, the sun finally setting on the worst day of your life. 

“I meant what I said,” he says, his hands in his pockets. “Back there.”

“Even if I just Yoko-Ono’d your band of brothers?” You can’t help but crack a small smile and laugh under your breath.

“You’re not the first girl to come between a pair of Kiszka brothers.” Sam laughs, reaching for your hand to pull you close. “It’s just usually the twins. I had a clean record until you came along.” He mumbles into your hair, holding your head close to him. You can feel the anxiety and tension melt away from you as the rumble of his voice rolls through his chest. 

“Sorry.” The apology comes out quietly, muffled. 

“It’ll be okay.” He pulls back, gently cupping your cheeks in his hands, bending just a bit to look into your eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, Sammy. I’m so sorry.” All of the emotions circling in your head seem to pile up and the tears finally come. “I… I have to talk to him.” You look up at his face, your eyes sad. “I have to.” 

Sam’s expression is pained, but he nods. “Promise me you’ll come back.” He places a gentle kiss on your lips. “Tonight. And every night.” 

“I promise. I just… I have to make things right.”

With that, you gently take his Tesla’s key card from his wallet and kiss Sam one more time before hopping in and driving yourself back to Jake’s. 

@reesetrippingthelight@samstopochico@jordie-gvf-admin@jakesgrapejuice@spark-my-nature@gvfcinema@joshysgirl@hellowgoodbye@ageofwagner@katelynn-gvf@ohgodthefeeling-gvf@fwzco

Part 9

[stillwintering]

All's Fair in Love and Politics  (a modern Nessian AU - where Rhys is running for president)

Summary: In the ruthless arena of politics, victory demands risking everything, even one's own heart. Rhysand has his eyes on the presidency. Feyre convinces her estranged sister, Nesta, to join the political campaign. As the campaign intensifies, Nesta and Cassian find themselves forging an unexpected bond. But can their budding romance survive the treacherous waters of modern political warfare?

(Nessian focused but lots of Feysand to keep things interesting.)

Read on AO3 / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Chapter 3

"Eris?" Gwyn looked surprised, her bright teal eyes catching the name flashing across Nesta's phone screen.

Nesta left her phone facing up on the table during Sunday brunch with her two best friends -- a tactical error. Nesta quickly sent the call to voicemail and slipped her phone into her bag.

"Again?" Emerie smirked from behind her coffee cup.

Nesta felt her face burn red. "I ran into him at the Hewn charity gala," she pushed her food around with her fork. "I don't know why he's calling."

Gwyn huffed. "I can't believe you saw Eris before you made time to see us," she teased.

"Things have been crazy with the campaign. And the gala was a work event," Nesta looked contrite. "When's your train back to New York, Gwyn? Do you have time to drop by Emerie's shop with me?"

"Don't change the subject," Gwyn's eyes twinkled. "Now we need to know what happened with Eris last night."

"I -- he -- " Nesta started, her face turning an even deeper shade of red, but found that she couldn't bring herself to say out loud that she had gone home with Eris for hate sex. "You two are the worst," she said instead.

Gwyn knew Nesta well enough to make the inference. "I thought you couldn't stand him!" Her face was equal parts surprise and amusement.

Emerie snickered. "No. They're friends with benefits."

"We are not friends!" Nesta hissed.

"Fine," Emerie was enjoying this entirely too much. "They are frenemies with benefits."

Nesta opened her mouth to reply but then said nothing.

Gwyn glanced between Nesta and Emerie and let out a laugh. "So are the benefits good at least?" Gwyn asked surreptitiously.

Nesta suddenly felt self-conscious. She tugged the collar of her blouse higher, hoping the red bruise Eris had left on the crook of her neck remained hidden.

"I'm going to take that as a yes," Emerie observed.

Gwyn nodded. "That's definitely a yes."

---

Mercifully, Gwyn and Emerie let Nesta off the hook for the remainder of their brunch.

Nesta had dearly missed spending time with her two best friends. After college, they had all moved to different cities but still made time to meet up regularly. Gwyn headed a women's advocacy non-profit in New York City ("God, I miss having you in the City," Gwyn had said when she arrived in DC). Emerie owned a women's fashion boutique in Alexandria ("I'm so happy to have you close by now," Emerie retorted. "But I better see you more often from now on," she had admonished).

Their conversations flowed easily. Gwyn and Emerie both wanted to know more about Rhys ("Is he as handsome in person as he is in photos?"). They peppered Emerie with questions about the new woman she was dating ("What was her family like?" "Was she a cat person or a dog person?").

They both listened sympathetically when Nesta told them about Elain and Feyre. Gwyn wrapped Nesta into a tight, loving hug ("These things take time."). Until then, Nesta hadn't realized how much she needed to hear those words.

---

Cassian paced around Rhys's office Monday morning. The vote for the immigration bill was delayed.

"Beron is up to something," Azriel said from his corner. His eyes followed Cassian back and forth in the limited space -- they had removed all the visitor chairs from the room now that the team was bigger.

"He's gathering his forces for an ugly floor fight."

Rhys nodded in agreement. "I only told him I'd think about adding the amendment. It would no doubt kill the bill. He must have approached other members of the House about it too."

Feyre frowned. "It doesn't make any sense," she mused. "It would be politically beneficial for Beron and the party to pass the bill as is. Why is he trying to sabotage his own legislative priorities?"

Cassian shook his head. "As Speaker, he put the bill up to a floor vote. But now he's playing dirty behind the scenes," he turned to Rhys. "I never thought he actually wanted immigration reform."

Rhys looked down at his hands, considering their comments.

"We need to position our office as being pro-immigration," Amren said. She turned to Nesta, "Can you come up with some language on this -- our position for a press release?"

Nesta settled her gaze on Rhys. "That depends," she said, a challenge. "On what Rhys thinks about immigration reform."

Rhys turned his full attention to Nesta. "I support everything in the current bill," he said.

Nesta rolled her eyes. "What do you actually believe?"

Rhys paused, his face unreadable. The question hung in the air.

A knock sounded at the door. A young lady poked her head into the room. "Excuse me, sir, sorry to interrupt," the staffer said apprehensively, her face flushed. "All the members are being called to the floor."

Rhys rose from his chair. "We'll continue this later," he said to Nesta on his way out the door, the young staffer at his heels.

Nesta looked after him and frowned. She didn't like how Rhys avoided her more probing questions regarding his political agenda. Was Rhys waiting to see which way the political winds would blow before settling on his policy goals?

Azriel picked up his laptop and papers. "We still need to figure out what Beron's trying to pull," he said, scrolling through his phone. "Let me make some calls. Maybe someone in the Speaker's office is willing to enlighten us."

Nesta was still looking out the open door after Rhys's disappearing form. "Don't bother," she said. "I'll talk to Eris."

Everyone in the room went still.

Nesta turned to Azriel and observed that his lips were drawn into a tight line. "Eris had been calling," she explained. "So I'll call him back."

Cassian's jaw worked. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said slowly.

"Eris wants the bill to pass," Nesta said, getting impatient. "He'll play ball."

Cassian started pacing again, avoiding looking in Nesta's direction.

Azriel's frown deepened.

Amren surveyed Nesta while drumming her manicured fingers on the surface of the desk. "Do I need to worry about you and Eris?" Amren asked carefully.

"Excuse me?" Nesta's voice rose. She looked between Amren, Azriel, and Feyre. They were all studying her with interest. She didn't know whether to be insulted or outraged. She knew she didn't like the implication of the question.

"I am a professional and I'll conduct myself as such. I expect the same from all of you." Nesta's tone was brusque.

Amren hesitated but looked to Feyre.

The sisters stared at each other intently. "I trust you and your judgment," Feyre finally said. Nesta let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Amren nodded. "Fine, call Eris for a meeting," then she pointed at Cassian. "You're going with her."

"I don't need a chaperon." Nesta crossed her arms.

Amren looked out the window, her eyes searching for some distant object outside. "I have no doubt you can handle yourself, girl," she said. "But Eris needs to be reminded of who he's jostling with."

---

"Look who finally decided to return my calls." Eris's voice crackled over Nesta's speaker. Cassian stood next to her, his eyes on her phone. Amren had insisted they work as a team, and then Cassian insisted on listening in on the call.

"I'm already regretting this," Nesta retorted, rolling her eyes at both her phone and Cassian.

"I'll make it worth your while," Eris's tone was lurid. Cassian raised his eyebrows.

Nesta looked up at Cassian. Something twisted in her at the pained expression on his handsome face. Cassian held her gaze and nodded grimly for her to continue.

"Just tell me where to meet you," she said.

---

Eris picked a tiny diner on the outskirts of the city for their meeting the next day. He was surprised to see Nesta walk in with Cassian's towering figure behind her.

"I didn't know this was bring your child to work day," Eris told her drily, barely acknowledging Cassian's presence. He gave Nesta a quick kiss on her cheek and then gestured for them to sit in the booth across from him.

The diner looked like it hadn't been updated since the 1950s, with checkered linoleum floors and bright red benches. Cassian scanned the long rectangular space. They were the only ones there except for the wait staff.

Nesta was nervous to meet Eris with Cassian. On their drive here, they only spoke to each other in short curt sentences, going over what they would ask Eris. She had opened her computer in the passenger seat and worked on the immigration press release. Her years of reporting had trained her well for writing on moving vehicles. Cassian was a quiet, comforting presence beside her -- he left her to her work and focused on navigating through traffic.

A waitress came up to their table. "What can I get you folks?"

"Just coffee," Cassian said and crossed his arms.

"Same for me."

"The beautiful lady will have a slice of your chocolate cake, Alis," Eris smiled. "And I'll take the lunch special." After the waitress left, Eris turned to Nesta -- she arched an eyebrow -- and added, "It's the best chocolate cake in DC, I swear."

Cassian looked like he was ready to throttle Eris. "You come here often?" he asked sharply.

"Something like that," Eris's face was impassive. "Nesta didn't mention she was babysitting."

Alis returned with three mugs of coffee before Cassian could respond.

"Why are we here, Eris?" Nesta asked. She could already feel her annoyance surfacing.

"I told you the chocolate cake is amazing," Eris gave her a wicked grin.

Cassian drank his coffee, letting Nesta take the lead as they had discussed.

"Well, out with it," Nesta said with disdain. "What did you want tell me that can't be said over the phone?"

Eris pouted. "If you had stayed the night," he drawled. "I would have told you in the morning."

Nesta refused to let Eris rile her up. She gave a quick side glance to Cassian. His face went dark. Nesta felt a twinge of remorse -- she didn't want to drag Cassian into her twisted alliance with a scoundrel like Eris. She didn't want Cassian to think that she took satisfaction in any of this.

"We don't have time for idle talk, Eris," Nesta said, keeping her voice neutral.

Alis came by again with a sandwich on one plate and a huge piece of chocolate cake on another. They fell silent as Alis walked back to the counter.

Instead of responding, Eris picked up his sandwich and took a bite. He looked at Nesta expectedly.

Nest sighed, unwrapped the fork from a napkin, and ate a piece of the cake. She hated that it was the best chocolate cake she had in a long while.

Cassian was visibly pissed off.

Satisfied, Eris took another bite of his sandwich and chewed slowly. "Beron doesn't care whether the immigration bill lives or dies," he finally said.

"Why did he put the bill on the floor then?" Nesta put her fork down.

"Beron allowed the bill to come to a floor vote to appease the progressive wing of the party," Eris continued. "They have been threatening to revolt."

"We know," Cassian said. He shifted in his seat, his knee knocked against Nesta's. She blinked.

"Beron doesn't care what happens to immigration reform," Eris looked bored. "He just doesn't want the progressives to get too big for their britches."

"So this poison pill amendment is just to teach them a lesson?" Nesta asked.

"Beron wants them back in line," Eris affirmed.

Cassian and Nesta exchanged a look.

"You know," Eris nudged the cake towards Nesta again. "Tarquin has been pushing for a more strigent clean energy bill, close the loopholes for large corporations. He's been looking for the right co-sponsor."

Nesta nodded, understanding. Tarquin was the leader of the progressive caucus -- maybe, just maybe, there can be a deal.

Cassian looked at Eris pointedly, picked up Nesta's fork, and took a bite of cake. "Mmm, delicious," Cassian moaned theatrically. Nesta's lips quirked upwards into a slow smile.

Eris furrowed his brow in surprise.

Cassian swallowed, licking his lip. "And the defense budget?" Cassian asked deliberately. "Why is Beron pressing for a 20% increase?"

Eris pushed his plate away from him. He leaned back in his seat and assessed Cassian. "Does Starborn support widening the war in the Middle East?" Eris asked in response.

"Rhys served three tours in Afganistan," Cassian replied cooly. "His military record is unimpeachable."

"Does Starborn support widening the war?" Eris asked again.

This time, Cassian said nothing.

Eris looked smug. "That's what I thought." He stood up, put on his immaculate Italian wool jacket, and dropped a $20 bill on the table. "I'll call you later," Eris winked at Nesta and walked out the door.

---

---

---

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Tag list: @acourtofladydeath @fwiggle @swifti-ed

[bloomingfromashes]

I long for the touch of a friend.

I crave the touch of a friend that I know, that I've loved so deeply and so purely for so long. I’m not sure why the touch of family is different for me. Maybe because It’s a constant in my life, or because my family just doesn't understand me like my closest friends do. But it’s been too long since I've held my best friend's hand, played with her in the school playground, laughter so loud that others complained, but it didn’t matter. We didn’t care. Because we were just kids having fun.

At the end of Primary School, I knew it would change. You don’t run around the playground at High School. That would be weird. We were too old now.

What I didn’t really expect was to not hold her hand. To not feel the closeness and comfort that had been so simple to me before. A bigger school means separation. Less time together, more things to worry about. She thrived in the new environment, achieving great things. I withered and was left behind.

She moved schools, I all but dropped out. Anxiety and fear kept me back. I didn’t have her hand to hold. She had other things, and other friends to care about.

I saw her recently. A few months back now. A sleepover, just like we used to have. We talked and caught up. We laughed and danced like idiots in my garden. We held hands. We clasped onto each other as we watched a horror movie of my suggestion. I wasn’t really scared, I already knew what was happening. I held her hand for her, to comfort her from fear. But also for me. To feel the closeness I had missed for so long.

She has new friends now. We don’t text. But when we’re both free, we have a sleepover. And I rediscover the closeness I have missed so dearly. The comfort that I just couldn't get with my family like I could with her.

I miss how it used to be so much. I miss being a carefree kid who’s only worry was a sheet of maths homework every other Sunday. I miss the time before anxiety, before insecurities and pressure and loneliness.

But when I hold her hand, I’m a kid again. We’re kids again. And we can laugh as loud as we want without a care in the world.

…..

hey, i’m ash! this is my first post on this account and it happens to be a sad little vent poem (kind of) about me that i just wrote at 5 am! ummm.. i hope it maybe makes you feel better? i hope if you relate that you can feel comforted by this in a way.. i wouldn’t know really. follow me if you want! i’d love to be friends <3

[gureiify]

Princess Sakuya passed away last night.

I want to talk about her some, so this might get long. <3

She was a koi style female betta fish I got from a petsmart in late 2018. White red and black in color with short fins. She had original tankmates of 2 glass catfish and three hatchet fish. I did a lot of research and decided on a female betta because they are calmer and less likely to abuse tankmates.

She was always friendly and curious and mostly left her tankmates alone. Though she starts out three colors the white in her scales turns to red and black over time, although she also gains an electric blue shimmer to some scales that reminds me of that storybook the rainbow fish.

My very favorite thing about her was her 'cuddliness' Because she was so curious she always swam toward things coming into her tank, not away, and I was always afraid that during water changes she'd get knocked around by the water and get injured. So I started sticking my hand in to block her to one side, to my suprise she swam right over and sat in my curled hand. I'd never had a fish that was like 'ok! hold me!' That became what we did every time there was a water change.

In late 2020 we decided to move from FL to WA. Usually a significant move necessitates rehoming fish, and that was originally the plan, but the closer move date got the less I wanted to separate. So I decided to take the risk and take the fish with us. Into a bucket goes the Princess, 3 hatchet fish and the remaining glass cat. 7 days and over 3000 miles later we arrive in WA, only the glass cat didn't make it.

The new tank is a 40Gallon tall, and it's a wonderful amount of room for 4 fish. The hatchet fish all eventually pass and it's just her left in that big tank.

In late 2022 she becomes ill and starts struggling to swim to the surface of that huge tank to breathe the air as betta need. So she moves into a 10gal tabletop tank on the bay window for treatment. She ends up recovering, but with her favorite plants and leaf hammock and the windows sunshine she is happy so she doesn't move back to the big tank.

In april 2024 she gets ill again, and after treatment recovers physically, but her personality has changed, she's listless and fearful, laying near the surface and seeming to panic whenever food or new water goes into the tank. Last friday I moved her into a hospital bowl for a last effort treatment, knowing it was likely end of life and not sickness. She was 6 years old.

Sunday I knew in my heart that she would be gone soon. So I put my hand in the tank to say goodbye and after a moment of panic she calmed and swam over into my hand. I got to hold her a last time. Monday night when I went to check on her she had passed. She'll be buried under the cherry tree with her favorite leaf hammock.

Many people think of fish as disposable pets, and betta especially. They're sold in little cups with incorrect care instructions. In truth they're amazing little companions who are worth the time and effort to really care for them.

I'm glad I got to spend 6 years with Princess Sakuya and I'll miss her dearly.

Thank you for spending the time to hear her story.

[luveline]

Hi Jade!!! Just wanted to wish you a lovely Sunday and ask if there are any updates on if it barks Eddie, I miss him dearly <3

Hi thanks so much! I honestly don't know things are a bit hectic for me lately and I've been trying to get my bearings back to finish their story !!

[thenameisgreed]

When you get this respond with five things that make you happy!!! Then send to the last ten people you got notifications from :)

Thank you so much for this! I'm so sorry it has taken me a while to get to it; I've just returned to university and am living in for the very first time! It's been a lot of fun so far, and I'm both excited and nervous for what's to come.

Anyway, here goes...

Studio Ghibli music - On Friday evening I was in London seeing Joe Hisaishi conducting the BBC Concert Orchestra playing music which he composed for the films of Hayao Miyazaki. The concert had been postponed three times due to Covid, and I was beginning to fear that it would be cancelled all together. But it finally went ahead! It was such a beautiful and emotional experience!

2. Museums and art galleries - On Saturday my friend and I had a lot of time before our train back home in the evening so we went to the V&A. I could honestly spend all day in there; the building alone is so beautiful and it houses the most incredible collection of art and artefacts. It's my dream to have an entire museum or art gallery all to myself for a day so I can wander around at my leisure (and perhaps even pick up my sketchbook for the first time in years!).

3. My new college neighbours - Because I was in London, I missed the official move-in on Saturday. When I arrived on Sunday all of the other people in my corridor had moved in and done the ice-breaker task that all new students are encouraged to do: work as a group to create signs for each door on the corridor with the occupant's name and drawings depicting their hobbies/interests/major. Today I left my room to find one stuck to my door! They had worked together to make one for me too, and had even written my name in Japanese IN THE CORRECT SCRIPT! I was really impressed as none of them are studying Japanese, and really touched that they made sure I was included.

4. Only Murders in the Building - the current show I'm watching obsessively together with my Mam. It's so upbeat and funny, the characters are terrific, and the mysteries are so well written! Next week is the series finale and I'll be so sad and forlorn!

5. My best friend - she never fails to make brighten my day. She's the best person I know and I truly don't know if I'd be around if I didn't have her. I love her dearly.

[unitivemossagain]

Virga Draft 1

Last weekend I went back to my old college town. There was a concert going on, two artists I vaguely knew and halfway listened to, but I was excited nonetheless. I graduated a year early and my roommate's boyfriend was a senior, so it wasn't like I didn't go up there often.

It always feels weird, going up there again. I still know things, can drive around without a map. The dining hall workers still know my name. But things are different, too. The intersection down the hill has new pavement and planters. One upperclassmen dorm has been replaced with a grassy, fenced-off field. My best friend lives in my old bedroom.

But I have a good time. My best friend is my best friend, after all, and it is always so refreshing to see her. I have lots of friends who I miss dearly who still go there, and it is equally wonderful to see them too. I always feel so nostalgic, bittersweet going up there.

I miss it but I don't. I live in a city now, if you could even call it that. Pittsburgh, the steel city, the fastest growing tech center in the nation. Not that it really mattered to me, I was an aspiring biologist, but the concrete jungle lacked a certain charm that my college town had in spades. Everything I complained about while living there, the hills, the classes and people, the unfairness of it all, it wasn't so bad in hindsight. I missed it.

So going back, it always brings up this mess of emotions. I'm anxious and nervous one second, feeling like a cock in the henhouse the next. I am unstoppable, limitless, and one mistake away from completely failure. I have no idea what I am doing with my life.

So on Sunday afternoon at about 3:00pm, I was feeling rather dismal. The prospect of going home was exhausting, especially given that the pot at the end of the rainbow looked like a brick-and-linoleum-floor-bedroom-with-no-windows-and-no-friends-and-probably-some-bugs. And I was coming down from being stupidly high, which infected me with a sinister energy. To make matters worse, the route home was littered with severe thunderstorm warnings, and I was driving alone.

Coaxing bell boy duties and setting my destination to "Loneliest Up and Coming Tech City on the Map," I began to make my trip home in silence. It is rather peculiar for me to not listen to music, but the thought of the sound filling the car and settling in my ear drums was too much in my melancholic state. I thought of calling someone to help the time pass, but the idea of speaking at all felt similar.

So I drove in complete silence, eyes locked on the road and fighting through that post-high haze. I could feel the storms building in the air, and kept a close eye on the dark skies around me. The clouds were towering, looming, and every moment it didn't start raining felt like the one right before it did.

I thought about a lot of things while I was driving, but I mostly thought about that storm. I kept waiting and waiting for the rain to fall, for the downpour to start pouring down, but the closest I got was a brief shower about halfway through. The world seemed to hold its breath as my 2014 Chevy Sonic sped down 79.

It was like driving on a tightrope. To my left were these massive, hulking monsters in the sky, bent arms and legs of clouds clawing their way from the eye to reach the cloud shore. They were rough and tumbled, everything knotting together and pulling on itself, winding tighter and tighter and tighter. The air felt like it could be cut it you could catch it, charged and anticipating. I felt it over me in an ancient sense, the way I imagine the men on the frontlines of the armies of old felt as their enemies charged towards them.

To my right though, the sky was brilliant. It was hazy, the air holding its water in a thin sheet that covered the earth. The setting sun shone brilliantly through it, its frosty rays feeling as though they beckoned you towards them. They stretched out to the storm behind me, pulled it in and invited it closer. In some more fun, dramatic universe I imagined myself veering off the road and straight into the light, off to find whatever they where the storm was heading.

It was so strange, that drive. Being on either side of the storm, being right in the center of two true, opposing things, I felt myself split clean down the middle. I could feel which side of me was on the storm side, which side roiled and wrapped itself inside out. I could feel which side shone and reached out into nothing, could feel that hopefulness and wonder and a desire to hold on to something that was only holding on to itself.

I thought again about the old days, about days before cars and steel and cities and the weather channel. I thought about two people, my sister and I, feeling the heaviness in the air and the static in our mouths when we laughed and knowing there's a storm coming. I thought about sitting out, feeling it get closer, knowing something bigger than yourself. I thought about siting outside until just after you feel that first drop, and I thought of the mad dash we would make home, trying only a little to outrun the rain.

I don't know what it was about that drive. Maybe there was something in the air, maybe it was some sort of after high, or maybe I am a girl in her 20s searching for meaning anywhere. But I felt so lucky in that moment, like me and everyone on highway 79 were being shone something important. I spent that entire drive thinking about what it would be like to live in those clouds, both sides, to live in towering spires of storm gray clouds that thundered around you. To lounge around on ash white dew drops that held perfectly in a ray of sunshine, fade through the air like pollen on the breeze.

It mostly made me feel important. Something about being in your 20s is so jarring. Once you graduate college, your life is just like being woken up and told you're late for school, everyone is there and knows that you aren't. Everything is a game of catch-up, everyone knows more than you, and even when they don't they will make you think they do. But driving down the edge of that storm, seeing something so entirely separate from myself and yet so tied up in everything I am, I felt like I did have a place, and it was right there in the middle.

[shammah8]

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; He will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness…"

Malachi 3:3

PURIFIED BY THE REFINER’S FIRE

It sounds easy to say we will always forgive others but what happens in your heart when your own son is brutally murdered. How can God make good come from that terrible event?

 

For answers, we go (in two parts) to the Southern Philippines where a decade ago Severino (Junie) Bagtasos, a young pastor, was sitting in the front row of his church in Alat listening to his sister conclude her Sunday message about heaven. Suddenly a man barged into the chapel. Two loud bangs were heard. Before anyone could make sense of what happened, Severino lay lifeless in a pool of blood. The killer made his escape as the distraught church members gathered around their pastor, killed instantly by gunshots to his chest and cheek.

 

His mother, Purificacion, says, “I miss my son. Junie was the most caring of all my children. He would always offer help when I was cooking. He would often ask me and his father advice whenever he was beset with difficulties in the ministry because his church members were older than him. I was blessed by Junie’s sincerity and faithfulness in the ministry. Nothing could hinder him from going to his Bible studies. Heavy downpours and floods could not keep him from bringing the Word of God to those who needed to hear it. Death threats did not stop him.”

 

There is not even a hint of bitterness as Purificacion speaks of that painful time. “During one of the services held at the wake of my son, my husband told the congregation, ‘We forgive the person who killed our son. If that person is here, I want you to know that we forgive you. If he is not here, and if anyone of you knows him, please tell him that we forgive him. The God we serve is the God of love and we want to show that love to you.’”

 

But there were those who didn’t share these convictions. She adds, “Some of my husband’s relatives who were also Muslims got angry at him for saying this. They were eager to avenge Junie’s death. It’s part of their culture. But my husband restrained them and told them that our God is a God who also forgives. We chose to forgive our son’s murderer.”

 

Purificacion shares what she thinks now was one of God’s reasons for her losing Junie. “After my son’s death, many Christians whose faith had grown cold were ushered back to the Lord.” Now after a decade has passed, she continues to see God’s hand in it all. She adds, “I believe Junie’s death was part of God’s plan. It was His way of opening the doors that have long been shut. You see, before the death of my son, Chinese-Tausug believers were scattered all over Jolo [their island in southern Philippines]. Many of them stopped attending the worship services.

 

When my son began the work in Alat [a predominantly Muslim town], little by little these believers started to gather again. Junie, their pastor, loved them dearly and was truly passionate for the ministry. One by one they started coming to church again. Before long, these believers were on fire once more and got involved in the work of God.” God’s refining at work!

Response

Today I will live in the awareness of God’s refining plan for His Kingdom’s expansion.

Prayer

Lord, purify Your Church and help me to accept whatever consequences this will have.

© 2013 Open Doors International. Used by permission.