#and i’d once again like to state that i read everybody’s tags and love them so much!!!!! i’ve gotten so much joy from all your reactions!!!

[tealmoth]

very important update: after wrapping up season 3, she decided that she was going to binge-watch season 4 in one go. so, uh, she finished it!! in one day!!! yesterday!!!!

and after the usual routine of squealing any time zeb and kallus were on screen together, saying “oh i love this” about kallus being a badass towards pryce, and ofc mourning kanan and screaming about ezra, we got the reach the epilogue (!!!!!) which she watched in total silence, before pausing the tv, making the MOST dying-animal-esque noise of all time, and yelling “THAT WAS SO CUUUUTE.” like, she didn’t care about anything else. jacen? whatever. ahsoka being back? could care less. the only thing that matters is that, in her words, “ZEB AND KALLUS GOT TO RUN AWAY TOGETHERRR.”

she’s since made up her mind that they adopted several lasat babies and lived happily ever after, and i could not be more thrilled by this development.

[maddieinwonder]

A Lesson In Romance #7: False Start

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Just a lot of awkward vibes hahaha

Word Count: 1.7k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they try to confess their feelings.

A/N: I didn’t actually manage to include the definition of a False Start in the chapter itself, so I’ll add it at the end. No spoilers for now!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

-----------

It took you 24 hours to decide that you were going to do something about your feelings for the good doctor. Pretty quick, considering you were a living, breathing rom-com cynic. But as ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, once said: "The only constant in life is change".

Specifically, change happened after you woke up in your cute co-worker and dear friend's arms and you wanted nothing more than to get back into them as fast as possible.

But by the universal laws of working in the BAU, catching a break seemed to be the hardest when you actually wanted one.

Firstly, it was like every serial killer in the country decided to cancel their vacations simultaneously, swamping the team with urgent case after case. At this point, you were more familiar with the couch on the jet than your bed at home, and everyone was feeling the strain.

Secondly, if you weren't sleeping, you were usually out in the field chasing unsubs with Derek or Rossi. You had stopped holding out hope for being paired with Spencer — on account of your areas of specialty overlapping too much, and Hotch not being the type of leader to waste his resources — and as a result:

Thirdly, getting even ten minutes alone with the genius became an impossible task, and not for lack of trying either. At the start of the month, the two of you had tried to adapt your breakfast ritual to the road, but it always got interrupted mid-coffee order or even at the ding of the lift. Not that you and Spencer stopped trying, no, but your patience was wearing thin.

So you did something you hadn't done since you submitted your application to join the BAU — you prayed for a chance.

Because every day that you didn't admit your feelings to the doctor was another day fighting the compulsion to tell somebody else about them, and god only knows what a room full of profilers (and one nosy tech analyst) would do with that kind of information.

Then, out of the blue, the door of opportunity opened.

After two weeks of straight travel, the team had earned a well-deserved one night’s rest in your own beds before dealing with a local case, bright and early tomorrow morning. And since your flight landed at 2am and all the trains had stopped by then, this gave you the perfect shot to execute your plan.

Unfortunately, you forgot to take into account the most important factor — your nerves.

It didn't help that Derek had wolf-whistled in the carpark as the two of you walked off in the same direction, nor that Spencer immediately put your favourite album into the CD player out of instinct; an overly domestic action that made your heart beat even faster.

But it was when you arrived in front of his apartment building that you felt the worst of it. As you tried to summon the right words to your lips, your heart hammered in your chest and your thoughts jumbled themselves into nonsense.

"Are you ok?" Spencer asked, snapping you out of your anxious spiral instantly. "You don't look so well."

"I-I'm fine." Your fingers twitched nervously.

"Doesn't seem like it." He looked down at your hands, and you cursed your subconscious brain for giving you away. Then, he placed a hand over yours and your heart stopped.

"You're not alright, that's for sure, but it seems like it's just sleep deprivation." He assessed, bending slightly to look at your face. "You can't drive in this state. Do you want to come in?”

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze, ready to protest, but Spencer beat you to it. "Let’s go. You wanted to talk about something, right?" He called out, already one foot out of the car.

Before you could realise what was happening, you found yourself sitting on Spencer's couch holding a warm cup of tea.

This was the first time you were in his apartment. Yet, it was exactly what you thought it'd be like. Every wall was lined with bookshelves, filled to max capacity with books of every topic imaginable from neuroscience to philosophy. Those that didn't make it to the shelves were found in random stacks around his apartment, standing out against his forest green walls.

"Did you know that chamomile tea is a natural remedy for insomnia? In fact, it is commonly regarded as a mild tranquilizer. It's calming effects may be attributed to the antioxidant apigenin, which binds to specific receptors in your brain that initiate sleep and reduce anxiety." He explained, walking over with his own mug.

"I actually did know that." You smiled. The tea seemed to work its magic because you did feel relaxed, and you must have looked it too, because the worried frown disappeared off Spencer's face.

"Didn't know you were a tea person." You commented lightly, blowing the steam from your mug.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me." He replied mysteriously, and you raised your eyebrows.

Spencer's apartment was too quiet, no rumbling fridge or quiet radio playing in the background to make your awkward silence any less pronounced. It was then that you noticed he didn't have a TV. Somehow this fact didn't surprise you very much.

"You... you wanted to talk to me about something?" He broke the silence, looking down at the hot tea swirling in his mug.

Right. You were here to talk about your feelings. Your face flushed as you tried to summon your willpower, again.

"I wanted to tell you something—" You began shakily. "But before that, I just want to preface, we can ignore this entire thing if you don't agree. I mean, I really enjoy our friendship as it is, and I wouldn't want to do anything to affect tha—"

"Wait." Spencer interrupted urgently, before catching himself. "Sorry, um, before that, can I say something?"

"Um, ok, shoot." You replied meekly, trying to hide your relief behind a long sip of tea. There was a pause as he gathered his thoughts, and you might have been seeing things, but he looked almost... nervous? 

"The day we met, I calculated the probability of meeting somebody that shared my exact coffee order and the result was almost one in a million.” He finally spoke, lifting his head to meet your gaze. “That probability decreased when I factored in working together, sharing the same interests, and... and how I enjoyed spending time with you more than with anybody else."

Spencer cleared his throat, a blush coming onto his cheeks.

"Ever since then... my life just started making sense. I know I’m a scientist, not a poet, and I could tell you all the statistics about relationships in the world, but when it comes to you...”

His cheeks were crimson now, as he ran his fingers through his hair. You had a feeling yours looked the same.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I think you're beautiful and smart, and I have no idea what you see in me, but I'd really—"

Suddenly, both your phones buzzed violently against his coffee table, jolting you out of the moment. You leaned over in a trained motion, only to see exactly what you expected:

Garcia: No rest for the wicked, crime fighters. Conference room in 30.

Penny: No rest for the wicked, crime fighters. Conference room in 30.

You let out a sigh you didn't realise you were holding, and Spencer looked over at you, doe-eyed and nervous.

“The case?" He asked quietly.

There was a silence filled with words unsaid. "We should go." He said finally. "If we leave now, we can still make it on time."

You only nodded in response, more out of duty than desire, and gulped down the rest of your tea. The thought of what he was about to say burned down your throat.

Driving away from Spencer’s apartment was torturous. The doctor hadn’t said anything to you since he entered the car, only fiddling with his bag as he looked out the window. It was too dark to read his expression, but you wondered if he could still hear the way he called you “beautiful”, or whether the moment had already dissolved into the space between you.

Luckily, you didn’t need to wait long for an answer, as Spencer tugged on your sleeve before you exited the carpark, his face scrunched in worry.

"I really didn't mean for that to be so... weird. Can we talk about this again after the case?" He asked softly, and despite every semblance of logic left in your brain, you couldn’t stop the hope from blooming in your chest and you smiled.

That was when Spencer did something completely uncharacteristic. (You didn't know this at the time, but it was something that you would tease him about for a long time after.)

In one fluid movement, the doctor pulled you into a tight hug that elicited a squeak from you, but it only took a second for the initial shock to wear off before you relaxed completely into his warm touch. He took that as a sign to continue, burying his head into your shoulder and letting out a content sigh.

Unlike waking up to your bodies intertwined, nothing about this was a mistake. Not the way his fingers stroked your back peacefully, nor the way his curly hair tickled your cheek. You felt the stress of the past two weeks melt away in his embrace, and so did any coherent thought, except one: normal friends didn't hug each other like this.

Later when the two of you finally entered the conference room, miraculously still on time, nobody commented on the smiles plastered on your faces but everybody could tell. They were profilers after all.

But for the first time in awhile, you were just too happy to care.

-----------

Tag List:

@blue-space-porgs @nobutalsoyes @lady-loves-a-lot @queen-flower @oops-all-ajs @spottedzebrasinpartyhats @agentcarterisgay @totalmess191 @sapphic-prentiss @mellowalieneggsknight || @averyhotchner @amesandpineapples @willowrose99

Definition of a False Start here

[julemmaes]

Congrats! "They should have known that fake dating never goes according to plan." for Rowaelin please 😊

He Truly Loves Her - October 8th

Rowan Whitethorn x Aelin Galathynius

A/N: Same as before, I’m really sorry I didn’t post it yesterday, but I couldn’t find the time to write this and didn’t want to post some shitty stuff just because. I hope you like it, enjoy!:)

Word count: 1,502

Elide was watching Lysandra desperately trying to get Aelin away from the bar.

She and Nehemiah had sidelined with Lorcan when the songs had become too slow for them to keep on going and now couples on couples were swinging like a herd of dying cows.

Elide laughed at her own thought, only slightly drunk. Lorcan looked at her confusedly, arching an eyebrow, "What are you laughing at?" he asked her by putting his arm around her hips and pulling her to his side. Nehemiah looked at them with affection and Elide winked at her, smiling slyly.

She turned towards her boyfriend, taking his nose between two fingers. Lorcan moved until he was free from her grip, and squeezed her wrists to hold her still while she giggled. Elide knew full well how much Lorcan loved the drunk her.

"Nothing, I like that you and I are not cows." the boy burst out laughing, asking her what he was babbling about, but Elide was no longer watching him. Her attention was once again captured by Aelin and Lysandra.

Nehemiah squeezed in her shoulders next to Elide, "I feel so sorry for her." she murmured as Alein struggled to stand on those heels, then her expression got sour, "And I'd really like to talk to him about what an asshole he is."

Elide's gaze shifted to the center of the improvised dance floor in Dorian's house, where an equal slightly drunk Rowan was dancing with a girl they all knew very well.

Lyria Ballard had been with Rowan for more than four years. They had met at the end of high school and had been together all through college, making everyone believe that once they were out of school they would live together in one of those mansions you see on TV, with a perfect, large, happy family. No one would have expected that once back from summer vacation they would announce their breakup.

It hadn't been difficult to keep the group together, Lyria had moved to another state shortly afterwards and Rowan had met other people, including Aelin.

The blonde girl had been a thunderbolt for the boy and a burst of life for the whole group. She had brought so many new people into their small circle that sometimes Elide forgot how many they really were.

"Maybe I should go talk to him, this story is getting too complicated," said Lorcan interrupting her thoughts.

She shook her head, "Ae asked us not to say anything and we will do so. Rowan will realize the mistake he is making on his own."

In front of Lorcan's upset but determined face, Nehemiah added, "We mean it Lor, Aelin says that if he doesn't realize it himself, it's not worth it. If he really has any feelings beyond friendship for her, he should act of his own, not because a friend of his has pointed it out."

Lorcan turned to her at that point, "So should we just stand here and watch while those two destroy each other?"

Elide was inclined to support his point of view, but she took his hand squeezing it, "Aelin asked us not to interfere and we won't."

Nehemiah sighed next to her and then they fell silent again, watching Rowan laughing at something the girl in his arms had just told him.

When Lyria had returned it had been embarrassing to say the least.

Aelin and Rowan had never been together and there had been a long period, at the beginning of their friendship, when they couldn't stand each other for more than two minutes before one of them lashed out and started to insult the other badly, but once they got over that cliff, they started acting like an old married couple.

Elide still remembered when Fenrys had gone to her completely euphoric and gave her a speech about how he had never seen Rowan so happy with anyone, not even Lyria.

So when she had come back from Hybern only a few months later with the intention of staying in Adarlan forever and Rowan had proposed to Aelin that she pretend to be his girlfriend on some occasion to make Lyria jealous, the few who knew about it were shocked.

And they were even more shocked when Aelin had accepted the deal, saying that she, too, could use this to make one of the guys in her class, Sam Cortland, jealous.

Elide had read enough books to know where the bullshit was going.

Manon approached the trio with a clever smile on her face and patted Elide on the shoulder before asking, "What are you looking at? You guys all look like creeps."

When no one answered, she frowned, following the gaze of her friends to the massive figure of Rowan, "Ah, yeah." she whispered, taking a sip of her water. Manon was the designated driver that night, " Would anyone care to tell me what Galathynius' boyfriend is doing, or?"

Lorcan snorted, "They're not really together M, they were just fake dating."

Manon's head snapped in Elide's direction, looking for confirmation, "Fake dating? You're joking."

Nehemiah shook her head, "I'd rather."

"Rowan really got everybody. Aelin especially," added Elide, sitting on one of the chairs against the wall.

Manon laughed, "No guys, mine wasn't a question. You're joking, period." she said. Elide looked at her with a confused grimace, "What do you mean?"

"That they're not fake dating," Manon pointed out, taking her seat next to her.

Aelin, from across the room, burst into tears, and although Elide could not hear her, she knew it must have been a desperate cry, because all the people around her turned around and looked at her worryingly. She was about to get up and go to her, but Lysandra was already escorting her out of the room.

Elide turned again towards Manon, "Yes, they are."

"No, they're not."

"Yes, they really are." Nehemiah meddled.

"Are you trying to tell me that every time we went out and Lyria wasn't there or that Sam wasn't nearby, those two were making eyes at each other for fun?" asked the white-haired girl, "Or that every holy football game we've seen in the last few weeks when Aelin ran out onto the field to hug Rowan and kissed him in front of everyone, it was just practice?" Manon puffed, irritated, pointing to the dance floor where an upset Lyria was standing motionless in front of Rowan. Rowan, who was looking around alarmed.

"I have known Rowan since we were children. We grew up together and in the last few months he has done nothing but talk about Aelin." she started, "Aelin this, Aelin that." she huffed a laugh. "Yeah, it's true. They think they're faking it, but that-" she pointed a finger back at Rowan, who was now talking to a not-little-irritated Aedion, "Well, that's not faking it." she took a sip of water, "And believe me when I tell you I haven't heard Rowan say Lyria's name half a time in the last ten days."

Fenrys approached the two boys, an equally pissed off expression on his face. Elide managed to pick up the words "Lyria" and "piece of shit" from his speech. Rowan looked like a clubbed dog desperately trying to hide his tail between his legs.

"No one looks at anyone else the way he looks at her unless they promised eternal love to each other." Manon concluded, crossing her legs. "Those two are not faking dating. They just don't know it."

Rowan ran his hand over his face and Elide almost snapped when he turned around and walked towards Lyria. He took her by the hand and pulled her off the dance floor.

Lorcan did not seem to be in a more controlled condition than she was and Elide was amazed to see such outrage on his face. After all, Rowan was his best friend, but she was happy to find out that if Rowan did something stupid he wouldn't just blindly support him.

"They should have known that fake dating never goes according to plan." Nehemiah murmured, she sighed and walking away shortly afterwards towards the bar where Fenrys and Aedion were still talking.

Lyria was nodding disoriented, but she smiled at the end when Rowan seemed to apologize and put her hand on his arm. He smiled apologetically and she stood up tiptoeing, leaving a kiss on his cheek and pushing him towards the exit.

Manon got up at that point, looking at the couple sitting next to her. "Trust me guys, he truly loves her and if I know Rowan even a little bit, we can all trust that tomorrow morning Aelin will be the happiest person in the world," she smiled like one who knows what they're talking about and walked away.

Rowan was nodding, looking more scared than anything else, and ran towards the door of the house, towards Aelin.

Perhaps Manon was right. Maybe the next day Aelin would finally be happy.

tog tag list (if you want to be added/removed just send an ask or dm me)

@tottenhamboys20 @maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn

[i-need-some-mint-tea]

Bottled up emotions

(From Janus’s point of view)

Word count: 1,082

TW: caps, yelling, burying emotions, implied depression, implied u!patton

I had already internalized that I was a flaw. I have always heard it, whether it be from Virgil, Roman, or Patton. I never really believed them, but the more something is said… the more you think it’s true. It is true! I am a flaw, only chains holding Thomas down. Thomas had probably always believed I was a flaw. Though… when he said it, I didn’t expect it to hurt so much. Yes, I always knew he saw me as a flaw, though I would’ve never expected it to be like shards of glass in my chest. Like Roman’s sword straight through my heart. Up until that point, I had a tiny bit of hope that Thomas didn’t see me as a flaw. That hope was shattered as soon as he said those words that I was only here because I was a flaw.

So I hid that pain. I mean, I am the embodiment of lies, am I not? I am part snake, most commonly represented as liars! I hate my scales. They remind me that I am but a flaw. Something holding everybody else back. I thought Lovecraft would help. That I’d feel something other than this… this guilt. Reading helped at first! It drowned out all horrid feelings, and bad thoughts. But it slowly lost its zest that once so enchanted me.

It had never occurred to me how much I was withdrawing from the others until Logan came to check on me. He asked if I was okay, and I said I was. I knew that he knew that something wasn’t right, but he left me in peace. Though once he left, I was hyper aware of this loneliness that I had buried. Others came to check on me, and left. They asked what I was doing, and I said that I was engrossed in a book.

I was left alone in my room, the warm glow of the fireplace no longer comforting me. There were books strewn across the wooden floor, with my shelves of books unorganized. Then, I heard a knock. I grumbled, “Come in..” and Logan stepped in. “Janus, I do have a suspicion that something else is going on,” he said, walking up to where I layed on my bed. He pulled up a beanbag and sat in it, facing me, waiting patiently for me to speak. I sighed, “Logan, I am fine, I assure you.”

Logan smirked a bit and I knew he was about to pull a fact on me. “The most common falsehood told is people saying the words ‘I’m fine’ despite, in fact, not being alright.��� He continued, “You, from what I gather as well as your state, just said a falsehood.” Sometimes I forget how very smart Logan is. “Janus, by your body language, you’re stressed. You’ve enclosed yourself in here for two weeks. Something has got to be wrong,” Logan looked at me intently.

“I’m..” I was about to finish that statement when a wave of emotion washed over me. I was about to cry. “I’m.. I’m not fine. I haven’t ever been fine,” I choked out as I started to cry. At first I tried to hold back the tears, but then I couldn’t. All those feelings hit me like they were a hurricane and I was a lone house. I put my face in my hands. “I’m just a flaw. Almost everyone says it, even Patton once did! You know I’m just a flaw!” I spat. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, and I saw Logan looking at me. For once, he was showing emotion on his face. He looked genuinely concerned.

“Janus. You are not a flaw-“ he began, but I cut in, “I am! I always have been! Look at me, I am a goddamn snake. A SNAKE! A LIAR! I only make it harder for everyone, even Thomas said so! You see how Patton looks at me, he looks at me like I’m some sort of goddamn disease! I hate my scales, look at them! They remind me of everything that I CAN’T be!” I had stood up, looking down on Logan. “I am not anything useful! I’m not something as essential as logic!” I gestured at him, “I’M A LIAR, I’M HORRIBLE AND BAD! NOBODY LIKES ME, NOT EVEN MYSELF! I’M JUST THIS FUCKED UP PART OF THOMAS WHO NOBODY NEEDS! I AM NOT NEEDED!” I yelled. I suddenly felt so tired and sad. I collapsed onto the floor. “I’m… not needed..” I whispered, half to myself.

I felt Logan grab my shoulders. “Hey. You are needed. You’re needed for self care, you’re needed for preservation.” He pulled me into a hug. “You’re needed. You’re essential,” Logan murmured. He dryly laughed, “Sometimes I don’t feel needed.” “What? How? You’re logic!-“ then I remembered how nobody listened to him. I even put him on the sidelines. I wriggled out of the hug. As he met my eyes, I looked away. “I want to apologize for putting you on the sidelines, Logan. I shouldn’t have done that,” I said earnestly. “It’s quite fine. I’m used to it,” he answered, seemingly confused why I apologized.

I looked at him again, “You shouldn’t be used to it. It’s not right. Out of all of the sides, you should be listened to the most. But you’re not. You should be heard and seen, you have interesting things to say and bring to the table.” Logan tilted his head and looked thoughtful for a minute. I quietly chuckled, he always takes a moment to think. It’s quite endearing. I love when he does that. He always says something so insightful after. Logan started to speak again, “Well, while you are right that I should be listened to, you should also be listened to.”

I laughed, and Logan looked confused, “Hey, if we continue to say how the other needs to be listened to, we’ll be here for hours.” Logan adjusted his glasses, “I suppose you are right,” he says. “Logan? Thank you for… y’know,” I shrugged, “caring about me.” Logan chuckled, “It’s common human decency. Also, I know you’d do the same for me,” he smiled. Logan started to leave.

“Wait!” I yelled, then cringed at how needy I must sound. Logan turned around, “Yes?” I hesitated, “Would you like to stay and talk about Edgar Allen Poe or Lovecraft?” As soon as I said that, Logan lit up. “I’d love to,”

@imma-potatoo, I know you said you’d like to be tagged... so... here it is! Hope you enjoy!

[pip-n-flinx]

Castlevania Spoilers pt 2

Again, tagged and below a cut. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Alright so in our second installment of pissing off half/two-thirds the fandom, we arrive at what is probably the most egregious decision I feel the writers made. Before we start: No, I don’t hate happy endings. Nor do I like plot twists that serve only shock value and not the narrative. I just happen to believe that a licensed story using someone else’s intellectual property should probably be at least internally thematically or narratively consistent. Without further ado -

Why the Fuck is Trevor Belmont Still Alive?

Yes, he killed Death itself. Yes, they did tease St. Germain using the key to open the infinite corridor as his last act. I’m not talking about how you justify or rationalize it, or if there were enough frames of animation dedicated to saving him. I’m asking why he lives on to make an ass of himself and imply that he’s been slutting it up for years and bailing when he realizes the girl is pregnant. More importantly, why they would ruin his ‘final’ great speech to death? I don’t think we’re talking enough about how poignant that last conversation with Death is.

*Trevor, looking lovingly down at Sypha, who is safely away from Death*

T: I love you.

S: Trevor... I know.

T: You better know. Just remember: Trefor is a terrible name.

*Trevor turns to face Death himself*

T: Oi, Death. I want a word with you.

D: You know me?

T: I’m Trevor Belmont of House Belmont. Of course I know you. Finding things and recognizing them is what we do. And you are absolutely a thing.

D: I was put here at the dawn of life on earth to feed on the last breaths of every one of you fuckers. I’m a little more than a ‘thing’

T: No. You’re only a thing. You’re only an old killer. You don’t make anything you don’t live. You just eat and hide.

D: Is there a point to this? Are you dictating you fucking obituary to me, Belmont?

T: It’s time to give this place back to people who know how to build things. You and me? We’re just killers out of history. It’s time for us to go.

D: And whose going to make me go? You, with your bit of string in your hand?

T: Probably not. But let’s just give this one last go.

This above is the most powerful statement the show has made so far, and definitely the most direct. We're just killers out of History. It’s time for us to go.

I’d like to take a moment to speculate on the ‘bit of string’ line. I expect this is a reference to the Moirai in greek mythology. Specifically to the string of fate, eventually to be cut by Atropos, which defines the length of a mortal’s life. Here Death references the morning star whip as string. While it could just be the most derogatory thing Death could come up with, since this is written dialogue I think it’s safe to read at least a little into it. Chains are also rife with symbology, so the choice to refer to the Morningstar Whip as string instead of chain is interesting.

There are a couple of different ways to read this IMO. The first being that Trevor is serving as Atropos here, cutting the string and ending Death’s life. But the Moirai don’t have power over the gods, and while in this adaptation Death is certainly not godly in the judeo-christian sense of the word, I think it’s probably fair to compare him to the greek pantheon.

The second, and I believe more fitting interpretation, is that Trevor holds his own fate in his hands. It’s the Morningstar Whip he found in the old Belmont hold. Trevor takes several major blows throughout the course of his fight with Death, but even when he suffers wounds that might prevent him from carrying on the fight, he still has his grip on the Morningstar. His bit of string, his fate. Despite the obvious power of the weapon, it by itself is unable to take down Death. Trevor is only able to kill Death when he lets go of the whip, and instead takes up a dagger. A dagger that even Trevor describes as being designed as part of a one-sided-murder/suicide-pact-with-god, but who’s questioning that right? Trevor relinquishes his string, his life, his fate. And only by accepting that he must die. Acknowledging that he’s just another killer himself. Declaring that the world should be preserved for those who know how to truly live, as he never truly has. That is how he kills Death.

So why for fuckssake did they bring him back??? It undermines his character arc. It undermines all the writing and development they’d given him. It cheapens his great speech, the crux of the whole show!

But he killed Death. With Death dead, surely no one can die anymore right? WHAT ABOUT LENORE?! More to the point, Death himself states that he doesn’t interact with Hell. Death needs human hands to pull people out of Hell. He seems critical of his own powers as Death, observing to St. Germain that his inability to influence events in Hell is “fucked up.”

Here’s the other thing that infuriates me about this though. When he miraculously returns to Sypha and Alucard, he admits that he knew Sypha was pregnant 2 weeks earlier. Before his fight with Death. His last words to Sypha are intended to be a warning not to name his son Trefor. Lets set aside that the writers chose to play this off as experience from getting countless unnamed women pregnant before leaving them. I don’t want to, but I don’t even know where to start with this one. But perhaps more importantly, the Belmont line lives on! You don’t destroy the continuity of Castlevania by killing off Trevor here, because he isn’t the last of the Belmonts anymore! If you were going give me Sypha grieving for the loss of her love, coming to grips with the fact she bares his child, seeking comfort in a man she once described as being ‘like a cold spot in the room,’ why bring Trevor back? The final episode already delivered gut punch after gut punch. This was not a universally happy ending. This was not an ‘Everybody lives!’ finale. Learning to live with grief, to lean on friends and support eachother, would have been a perfectly poignant ending! Seeing a shot of Trevor and Sypha’s kid would have made me much happier than cheapening Trevor’s sacrifice by miraculously saving him!

So again. Salty and bitter. Here’s a link to my first post.

[goth-surana]

Hope and Hopelessness Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of 7

Main pairing: Anders/Male Hawke

Main tags: Angst with a happy ending, tranquil!Anders, cure for tranquility

Summary: After some time on the run with Hawke, Anders is caught and made tranquil. Hawke cannot bring himself to kill him, instead chasing a distant hope that there may be a cure.

Read on AO3 or below the cut

Hawke could barely sleep that night, and he was in the best bed he had slept in in a year. He was too on edge, both from being in what he considered enemy territory and from the anticipation of the next day. The inquisitor may have given them her protection, but this decision was not supported by all. Anything could still happen, especially with Cullen hanging around. Hawke still couldn’t believe Varric had neglected to mention his presence here. This inquisition may have allied with the rebel mages, but any place with an army led by Cullen wasn’t safe for any mage.

How did the inquisitor not know that? Did she just not know about what an awful man he was? Sure, maybe he changed, but Hawke could barely imagine how a man with opinions like his could have.

Anders slept soundly in the same large bed next to Hawke, not nervous at all about the next day. Because he was still incapable of being nervous. Hawke was nervous. This had to work. Hawke was so close to breaking, this hope was all that held him together.

Finally, after fits of rest here and there, the sun rose over the mountains.

Anders woke up quickly, got dressed efficiently. Hawke missed his frantic scrambling when he realized he slept in too late, even if he didn’t miss Anders beating himself up about it.

Oh Maker, he even missed that. Anything to show Anders was Anders.

In the afternoon, the Hero of Fereldan arrived. Hawke was keeping to himself in the corners of rooms with Anders, staying away from the inquisition’s inner circle.

The doors to the war room flung open and in walked Surana, confident as ever. The whole room looked up in awe, all recognizing her.

Well, everyone stared in awe except for Leliana. Instead the woman rushed forward and wrapped her arms around the smaller elf, a hug which she returned in equal measure.

Surana was still not dressed in Warden’s regalia, likely trying to keep a low profile.

Surana muttered something to Leliana before turning to address the room.

“All right, get your staring out of the way,” she grinned. “Yes, it’s me, Hero of Fereldan, slayer of the archdemon. Blah blah and all that. I’m sure you’re all quite impressive yourselves.”

The room murmured nervously, and Cassandra scowled. Cullen was looking quite purposefully away from Surana.

Surana noticed.

“Ser Cullen!” She exclaimed, walking right over to the mortified man. “Good to see you again, although I’m surprised you haven’t combusted around all those mages out there.”

“Erm,” Cullen responded sheepishly, “a lot has changed since we last met, Re- uh, Warden Commander. I am no longer the man I was.”

“I sure hope not,” Regan replied good-naturedly, patting him aggressively on the shoulder. “Although I heard you did try to annul another Circle after Kinloch. Good thing there’s no more Circles, or I’d really be worried.”

She spoke easily, but venom underlined her words. So they had a history too, it seemed.

“I realize our meeting again is… complicated,” Cullen said. “But I do hope we can be acquainted better than last we met.”

Surana dropped her smile. “Fine, I can be civil. I agree that people can change. I’m here to help Anders anyway.”

Surana turned to the rest of the group. “So where are we doing this?”

“The cells,” Casandra said. Hawke turned to her immediately.

“To protect against the danger of suddenly returning magic,” she told Hawke firmly. “We do not know what kind of destruction he might unleash. Cullen will also be present in order to nullify any magic that gets out of hand.”

“You’re bringing him back with a bloody Templar hovering over him?” Hawke tried not to yell.

“Hawke, it makes sense,” Anders said quietly from beside him. “The inquisitor explained that I will likely be quite emotional. I will be a danger to everybody.”

Hawke shook his head. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” he muttered.

Adaar looked apologetically at them both. She had probably fought this. Surana just looked disgusted.

“Fine,” the elf said. “Let’s go then. Shouldn’t draw this out anymore than it needs to be.”

The small group made their way to the dungeons. Cassandra tried to convince Adaar not to accompany them, but she insisted. “Under my protection means I’m making sure they come to no harm,” she said. Looks like she didn’t trust this woman.

Surana kept a purposeful distance from Cullen, and gave Leliana’s hand a squeeze before she left.

It got worse before it got better. After some amount of argument it was decided that Anders would be handcuffed and chained to one of the walls. Cassandra and Cullen would not budge in their insistence, and finally Adaar relented. Hawke glowered at her, but felt no real animosity. He was just tired, tired and unwilling to treat his love like a wild animal.

In the center of the room was a bowl of shining lyrium, and Surana knelt beside it.

“One of you will have to catch me,” she told the room. “Once I put my hand in, my body will collapse. This may take some time, but I will get a spirit’s help. I am not sure if my own spirit will wish to stray this close to the waking world. She is… willful,” Surana said with some small amount of amusement, “so I may have to elicit the help of another.”

Surana grimaced, plunged her hand into the bowl of lyrium, and fell to the side.

Multiple people lunged forward to catch her falling body, but Cullen got there first. He seemed to have moved on instinct, looking almost surprised as he held the limp elf in his arms. Surana looked strangely fragile in this state, her small stature more apparent.

Cullen kept holding on, but had the look of a man about to be burned. The rest of the room waited in silence.

Minutes passed, but it felt so much longer. Hawke just kept looking at Anders, sitting quietly and waiting for his entire world to be shaken. Hawke’s chest felt tight, his head light. This was it. It would happen soon. Surana would return with a spirit and… and Anders would return to him.

Surana stirred, opened her eyes, then took a sharp intake of breath as she scrambled away from Cullen like a scared cat. There was a wild look in her eyes, but one that faded quickly into anger.

“Was he really the only one who could have caught me?” She asked haughtily, but Hawke could tell it was a haughtiness meant to cover up another emotion. Genuine panic.

Surana shook herself out of it, took a steadying breath, and looked at Hawke.

“I… I found him,” she said. Hawke’s heart nearly stopped.

“Anders? In the fade?”

“No,” she said. Her eyes welled up with tears as she spoke. “Justice. He’s… he’s been keeping an eye on me, it seems.”

“Justice is alive?” Hawke asked, shocked. He had assumed the spirit had been burnt out somehow when Anders was made tranquil.

“He’s home again,” Surana continued. “And… he’s going to return Anders to us. He also wanted to say he was sorry to both of you.”

Hawke didn’t know how to feel. Justice, sorry? That was not an emotion he associated with the spirit.

“Just…” Hawke managed to say through the lump in his throat, “just… get on with it. Bring him back.”

Surana nodded solemnly and turned back to Anders. She knelt down in front of him.

“I’m sorry I failed you before,” she told him quietly, tearfully. “But I can help you now.”

Surana’s hand glowed with what Hawke now recognized as spirit magic, and she brought her hand to the brand on Anders’ head.

The light focused on her arm, wound around them both, and for a split second Hawke swore he saw a ghostly gauntlet joining Surana in her touch.

Anders shuddered, and Hawke saw the one moment of true life in his eyes before he let out an agonized scream.

Magic burst forth from Anders, knocking Hawke and everyone else in the room to the ground.

Hawke fought against the continuing onslaught and crawled forward, determined to reach the man he loved. But before he could, all magic in the room abruptly was cut off, another palpable force replacing it in the air.

Anders collapsed face first to the ground before Hawke could reach him. Hawke pulled Anders back up, seeing a trail of blood gushing from his nose. Hawke turned furious eyes on Cullen, the source of the divine smite.

Anders curled in on himself, clearly in pain.

“Anders, Anders,” Hawke muttered, patting his face and trying to gently turn his cheek to face him. He needed to see those eyes again, to see eyes full of life.

Anders yelped and shook free of his grasp, stumbling on his knees off balance and falling again to the floor. He looked up, saw Cullen, and screamed again.

“Shh Shh,” Hawke practically begged, hovering over Anders but not sure if he could touch. “It’s okay, love it’s okay…”

Anders was shaking violently, his breathing becoming ragged. Then he seized up, clearly trying to draw in air but failing. Hawke watched helplessly, felt tears of helplessness well up in his eyes.

“Love, it’s okay, it’s okay-“

Then Hawke felt another wave of magic wash over them both, and Anders went limp. His eyes fluttered shut, and he fell asleep.

Hawke was about to get angry again, but then noticed that once he was asleep, his breathing evened out. Hawke looked up to see Surana, having just cast the spell.

“He shouldn’t wake up with us looming over him,” she said in a somewhat rough voice. “The spell had to be powerful to work, it will probably last a few hours at least.”

The room was silent.

“If he hadn’t been handcuffed,” Surana told the room angrily as she approached with soft footsteps, “he wouldn’t have broken his damn nose.”

She knelt again, and waved her hand gently above Anders’ blood-covered face as she healed him.

“Fucking barbarians,” she muttered so low that only Hawke heard. He was inclined to agree. If they hadn’t woken him in a damn cell, he might not have been so afraid-

Hawke felt his heart seize. He had looked afraid. For the first time in a year, Hawke had seen emotion on his lover’s face. Abandoning all dignity, Hawke let out a sob and hid his face in his hands. It had worked.

It had worked. Anders was back. Afraid, hurt, but… but himself. Hawke kept crying, hearing the other talk around him but paying them no attention. He couldn’t get ahold of himself, emotions he hadn’t let himself feel in a year washing over him. It was one thing to hope, it was another thing to know there was a cure, but it was entirely something else to see the cure work.

When Hawke finally looked up, there was one fewer person in the room. Cullen, thank the Maker, had left.

“He still needs to be restrained,” Cassandra said with a frown.

“Why?” Hawke demanded, incredulous. “He’s fucking asleep-“

“He will wake again, and will likely react the same. We can get him a cot to lie on, we can unbind his hands, but he will stay chained to the wall.”

Hawke practically snarled, his eyes still red from crying.

“I can handle him when he wakes up. What he needs is some fucking compassion.”

Cassandra glared at him in response. “Cullen will also be on standby in case anything goes wrong. I wouldn’t want to waste the commander’s time, but we have no other inner circle members with Templar training.”

“Give me the keys,” Adaar told Cassandra. “I will release him as soon as it is clear he is not a danger, which should be soon. I can stay with Cullen, just call us when he wakes up.”

“I’m not letting Cullen anywhere near him,” Hawke said, standing tall. “He’s had enough Templars.”

“Please,” Adaar said, looking at Hawke with imploring eyes. Then she turned to Casandra and Cullen. “I will talk to them. You two head back up stairs, return to your work. The Warden Commander said you wouldn’t be needed for at least a few hours.”

Cullen retreated quickly, almost nervously. Cassandra stayed a moment, but eventually left.

Adaar let out a sigh. “I’m sorry about that.” She sounded genuinely sorry, but Hawke wasn’t inclined to be sympathetic.

“I meant what I said,” he warned her.

“I know. I will be waiting with Cullen the whole time and we will only intervene if we hear destruction. Please, Hawke. I’m not happy about the treatment of him either, but I need to keep some peace within my inner circle. And you can have the key. I trust you to know when Anders is stable.”

Hawke listened with suspicion, but was somewhat satisfied with her suggestion. He was well aware that they were in hostile territory, that it was a blessing to have Adaar on their side at all.

“Fine. But I’m not leaving his side, not for anything until he wakes up. I know I agreed to talk to your people about Corypheus, but that can wait until I know Anders is well.”

“Of course,” Adaar replied. “And Warden, I’m afraid they will want to talk with you as well. The Wardens have been displaying strange behavior as of late…and now that you’re here I’m afraid they insist on talking with you.”

Surana rolled her eyes, but nodded. “I know. I knew this would happen if I came out of hiding…”

“I will do whatever I can to make your stay here more comfortable,” Adaar insisted, “just know that there are a lot of tensions I must handle right now. Like I said before, I need to maintain some semblance of order. I will do my best to negotiate on your behalf.”

Against his better judgement, Hawke believed her. There was something painfully earnest in her eyes.

Adaar personally brought in a set of cots, which of course she carried herself. Damn Qunari.

Hawke lifted Anders onto the cot closest to the wall and Adaar unlocked the cuffs behind his back. Of course one cuff had to stay, but this was better.

Adaar left them then, and Hawke sat with his back against the wall and sighed. Surana also stayed, sitting a few feet away.

When Adaar’s footsteps faded, Surana burst into tears.

Hawke was taken aback, and asked what was wrong out of sheer habit. It really wasn’t his business.

“I’m sorry,” Surana gasped, “I just… I shouldn’t bother you with this, I should go to Leliana… but I don’t want to fucking look at him, and if I leave he’ll be there…”

Hawke could hazard a guess who this “him” was.

“Cullen,” Hawke said solemnly.

Surana nodded. “I… I hate that man,” she said in a low voice. “I hate that he’s here, I hate that he still makes me feel…”

“Afraid?” Hawke asked, remembering her reaction earlier.

“…yeah,” Surana said with a strained voice. “I know it’s unbecoming of me, and normally I can hold my own but when I woke up he was touching me, holding me like I was his to hold…”

“Did he-“ Hawke asked, alarmed. He knew Cullen was a monster, but surely-

“No,” said Surana. “He never touched me. Not like that. But… but he wanted to.”

“That’s not much better, Surana,” Hawke said. “If he tried to assault you, then-“

“It’s not like that either,” she said quickly. “I don’t think he would have done it… not without my consent. Back when I was an apprentice, I tried not to think about the mages who were the subject of a Templar’s… attention. I always told myself it would never be me, I was too annoying and loud and… well, it was all very silly. It’s not any of their faults they’re preyed upon.”

Surana was silent for a moment. Hawke waited for her to continue. Listening to her story was better than the silence, and it sounded like she needed desperately for someone to know.

“When I returned to Kinloch Hold during the fifth blight, I found out that the whole time, he had… lusted after me. The whole time a Templar had been fantasizing about me. The whole time, if Cullen had been a worse person…”

Her voice grew quiet. “… I could have been raped. He could have gotten away with it, if he wanted. I wasn’t so invincible after all, my delusion was shattered.”

Hawke’s dull heart still felt for Surana. He knew too well how much a Templar could get away with. He heard from Anders about how all mages knew deep down that they were at the Templars’ mercy in every way.

“So….” Surana continued after taking a deep breath. “It was just bad, waking up with him touching me. Knowing he had touched me when I was unconscious. And that on top of seeing Justice again, coming here… it’s all just a lot.”

“So you’re hiding out down here for a bit to collect yourself.”

“Yep. Very brave, I know.”

“It’s not shameful,” Hawke said seriously. “I used to hide away in my room when things got bad in Kirkwall. Everyone saw the Champion, but only Anders saw me. Sometimes you just need to hide in order to go on to fight. It’s all about pacing yourself.”

Surana nodded, wiping her eyes. “I’m glad Anders has you. We don’t know each other well, but I just poured my fucking heart out to you and you just… listened. You’re a good man.”

Hawke smiled, slightly. Just knowing his Anders was waiting for him made him begin to feel like himself again. He was dependable and a good listener, he was empathetic and kind to his friends. Maybe he didn’t know Surana, but she was a friend to Anders and she needed a friend right now.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Hawke ventured, “I think Cullen shit his trousers when he first saw you.”

Surana laughed. “Yeah. I just gotta remember, I’m no longer trapped with him, he’s trapped with me. I’m the fucking Warden Commander.”

It broke Hawke’s heart a little to see a mage need to remind themselves they had power. He knew too well what was going on in Surana’s head, as he had seen Anders battle those very demons. Fear and helplessness. The feeling that suddenly everything would be taken from you when you could do nothing about it.

“Damn right,” Hawke agreed. “When Anders is better, before you leave again you’ll have to tell me stories from Amaranthine. The embarrassing ones Anders won’t tell,” Hawke finished with a conspiratorial nod.

Surana grinned. “I’ll tell you one now. It starts with a cave expedition, and ends with a very unclothed Anders…”

[kooala]

whatever you need - second chapter

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jimin dating best friend Hannah, ex bf tae

Tags: strangers to lovers! college!au

Genre: fluff, mutual pining, reader isn’t interested in relationships at first

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: none I thinkkk

Summary: The fact that your brain seemed to be occupied with a boy didn’t really sit well with you and the bold flirting made your head spin. But for some strange reason - you really didn’t mind. 

A/N: sorry it took me so longsdsadkfh but here’s the second chapter xx

<<previous 

masterlist

As you waited outside their frat house in your car, ready to pick up that friend of yours, again, you felt like a proper soccer mom, driving your kids around to playdates although Hannah was definitely playing a different sort of ball game.

A knock on your car window caused you to twitch and as you saw Namjoon staring at you with a bright smile on his face, you rolled down the window. 

“Is this going to be a frequent weekend thing now?” he asked, handing over a proper cup of coffee, fresh and steaming. Holding his own cup, you looked out of the window to him with a smile on your face. 

“Thank you very much.”, you snickered, taking a sip and closing your eyes at the taste of the coffee. This wasn’t any cheap ass college student version of a coffee. This one was roasted and delicious. 

“That’s some good ass coffee.”, you mumbled quietly, enjoying the fact that Namjoon obviously knew what he was doing and stepped out of the car eventually to chat with him outside on their lawn. 

“Right? This is what I pull when I want to impress a girl.”, he joked, but the fact that Namjoon had offered you some coffee twice now, caused your stomach to feel a little tingly.

“Well I’m sure you get them all if you brew coffee like that.”, you smiled, sitting down at the steps on the front porch next to him, waiting for Jimin and Hannah to finish up their snogging and snuggling inside. You really enjoyed the cup of coffee that warmed your hands. The slightly chilly morning made it feel even more perfect to sit outside on the porch and wearing your sweat shorts and university sweater, you definitely felt like the coffee cup only added to the college look. 

“Thanks for walking me home yesterday. I know I’ve said it before but it was the complete opposite direction of where you were going so I do appreciate it a lot.”, you smiled over at Namjoon and he shrugged it off smiling. 

“No worries at all. Anytime. And just for the record? Jimin has a car so technically you don’t need to pick her up every time they bang. But I’m going to be really disappointed if we lose those early morning coffee sessions together, not going to lie.”

He chuckled and took a sip of his cup, stretching out his legs down the steps and faced the sun with closed eyes, enjoying the outside. Something about his settle way of flirting made you feel all over the place, especially since none of it was over the top or intrusive. Namjoon flirted in a settle manner, honest and not trying to impress someone with grand gestures. Being someone who wasn’t into flirting if you didn’t know someone well, your bodies reaction seemed to confuse you a little. 

“In that case, you better not mention the car thing to Hannah so I can come by more often.”, you chuckled and Namjoon peeked over out of one of his eyes, a bright smile on his face. 

“Better not.”, he chuckled and you put both your hands around the coffee cup, taking another sip while enjoying the crisp morning air. 

“I know I’ll miss you, too.”, you heard voices behind you in the hallway and Namjoon and you shared a knowing look, both of you trying hard not to laugh at the dramatic situation that had been building up between Jimin and Hannah over the past weeks. He really wasn’t someone to date and now that the two of them seemed to be official, everything was very dramatic and full of emotions between them. If they fought, they fought hard, if they made love, Namjoon couldn’t help but leave the house or listen to some music to get away from it. Now that Jimin was visiting his family in Korea for two weeks, you had no idea how you were going to survive this with Hannah constantly talking about him at the dorm already. 

“If you ever need out, you can call.”, Namjoon whispered and you had to chuckle. 

“I don’t even have your number, I could always ring though.”, you smiled and Namjoon held out his hand with a smile on his face, holding his phone over to you. 

“Well, looks like we’re going to have to change that.” 

It had been a while since somebody had asked you for your number and usually, you were never too keen on giving it away. Something about Namjoon asking made you feel emotions you hadn’t felt in a long time. The excitement of it all made you feel a little skittish and with a shy smile on your face, you typed it in along with your full name for him to safe. 

“Ohohooooo what’s going on here?” Jimin had knelt down between the two of you, his face uncomfortably close between both of your faces and the sudden loud sound made you jump. 

“Why do you have to be like that, Park?”, Namjoon stated calmly, looking up to him and Jimin shrugged with a smug little smirk on his face, giving Hannah a last kiss goodbye.

Sipping that last sip of coffee you handed Namjoon the cup, smiling at him and with closed eyes and a scrunched up nose, he smiled a wide smile that made your stomach twist and tingle. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you got up to walk down the steps to catch up with Hannah who had rushed to the car.

“I meant it!”, he yelled after you, sitting up on the porch. “Call if you want out.” You watched Jimin sit down next to him and mumble something and Namjoon didn’t even blink once, his eyes locked with yours. Another shy smile, you shook your head chuckling and disappeared into the car, driving off while Hannah was nagging you about what had just happened all the way back. 

The following Saturday and Sunday came, without a text from Namjoon. You hadn’t really expected him to text but as he actually didn’t, you found yourself in the position of being a little sad about it. Something very uncommon for you since you happened to be the kind of girl that put being happy alone before feeling completed by someone else first. The fact that your brain seemed to be revolving around whether or not this guy was going to text you, caught you a little off guard. 

You saw him in class once, sitting all the way across the lecture hall and although you had debated on sitting next to him a couple of times, it had never entirely felt right for some reason – so the confusion was big as you and a couple of friends walked into a coffee shop off campus after your last exam to celebrate, before all of you were forced to prep everything for the next semester, when all of a sudden Namjoon popped up behind the counter, towering up behind the big coffee machine. 

Furrowing your brows in amusement you watched him, waiting for him to recognize you and as his head shot up to look through the crowd and his eyes met yours, his focused features softened and a slight smirk crossed his lips, putting his beautiful dimples on full display.

Mouthing a shy “Hey.”, you nodded and Namjoon waved, mouthing it back to you before turning his attention back down to his coffee machine and the foamed milk in his hand. 

All of a sudden you felt way more excited about coffee than you usually would and as you and your friends came up to the register, Namjoon slid in fast between his co-worker in order to be able to take your orders. 

“What can I get for you guys?”, he asked with a sheepish grin, tapping his long finger on the screen, ready to take your orders. All of a sudden you didn’t even remember that you came with people.

“Well what is it you would recommend?”, you asked and looked at him with raised eyebrows. You had to chuckle at his expression as he ran his fingers through his hair, seemingly a little nervous.

“I can recommend the whipped crepes cake with strawberries, it’s really delicious. Oreo roll is also very good but if I could recommend anything, I’d say I’ll pick you up at seven and show you that new restaurant that opened in Gangnam if you’re available.” 

The words didn’t even make their way into your ears properly. All you could hear was a slight ringing while you watched him and the sudden fear of heading into something way too fast was striking you like a slap in the face. Trying not to lose your cool you nodded.

“I’ll take the strawberry crepes cake then.”, you smirked and Namjoon’s eyes flickered between yours, trying to read your expression, worried this may have been a no. “Text me.”, you said smiling and stepped aside to make way for your friends who had more than confused expressions on their faces. 

“I will.”, Namjoon nodded and smiled at you while taking the other orders and as you walked off a couple of steps to sit down at a table, one of your friends sat down next to you with big eyes. 

“What was that about?”, her voice was so excited she had to cover her mouth with one hand in order to not burst out with an excited little scream. “Do you know Namjoon?”, she asked and you looked at her confused. 

“Do you?”, you replied and watched her chuckle, turning her head over to watch his long hands slide over the coffee machine which made you assume he had been doing this for a long time. 

“Everybody does. Namjoon is like... the perfect boyfriend. He’s illiterate, caring, absolutely beautiful... obviously. How come you know him? Why did he ask you out?”

The tone of her voice didn’t really resonate with you and with a straight expression you looked at her. “What do you mean? Why would you say it like that?” 

She immediately put her hands up in defense and you knew you were right about your gist. “I mean I’m just saying.. You’re not the outgoing type. You’re not.. suuuuper girly you know what I mean? I’m not saying you’re not attractive I’m just saying I thought he’d go more for... the super mean IT-girl.”, she rambled and you nodded, wondering if those people sitting down at your table, talking about what had just happened were really your friends. 

Feeling your phone ring in your hand, you looked down. 

Unknown Number [1:57 pm]: You look a little stressed. Sorry for being bold in front of your friends

You [1:57 pm]: It’s okay, no worries at all (:

You saved his contact and smiled as you put a little coffee cup emoji behind his name. 

Namjoon☕️ [1:59 pm]: So? What do you say? I’ll pick you up for dinner?

Looking up from your phone you watched him work for a little while and bit your lip thinking about the offer. There was no harm in going out for dinner with him, if anything it would give you a chance to get to know him but something about the way he had rushed his way into your brain made you hesitate. 

You [2:01 pm]: What are options besides dinner? 

Feeling a little shy and as soon as you sent off the text you played with your phone nervously while watching him work behind the counter. It took him a while before he picked up his phone again and as he read the message, he looked over to you and smiled shrugging. “Whatever you want.” he mouthed and with a smile you had to look down, heat rushing into your cheeks. 

You let the words echo through your head. Whatever you want.

You [2:14 pm]: Let’s go for a walk later. Tell me when you’re off

Namjoon☕️ [2:15 pm]: I’ll be off at six latest. A walk sounds lovely 😊

You sat at the café for a while and Namjoon had been right, the fluffy cake made of thin pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries was delicious and you took your time to eat it. As you walked over ready to head out, you handed over your tray with your empty cup and plate and Namjoon took it with a nod, smiling over.

“Looking forward to it. Should we meet up somewhere? Or want to walk together?” His smile was genuine, his eyes open and focused on you entirely. It made you feel very special and maybe that was the dangerous part, the fact that Namjoon made you feel so special when he was around. 

“What would you prefer? I’m ok with either.”, you say a little shy now, nothing from the little cocky replies from earlier seemed to be left now that the nerves had kicked in. 

“If you’re ok with it I’d say we’ll meet up at the library and walk from there?” He smiled and handed over a little paper bag for you. As you took it, you peaked inside to find a cinnamon muffin inside of it. 

With a smile you closed the bag and looked over to him.

“Almost as good as dinner.”, he winked before wiping his hands on his apron and headed back to turn around and get to the pile of order papers that were out on the counter, waiting for him to prepare them. 

At seven, you waited in front of the library. You had put some effort into your outfit and hair, not too much to not make it look desperate but you had thought about how effortlessly good Namjoon had looked in that turtle neck and coat.

“Hey, [y/n].”, he smiled, walking up to you and you looked up at him with a bright smile. Namjoon was wearing a thick cardigan, a white shirt under it and some rolled up beige dress pants that seemed to be a little too big, making him look like he was fresh out of bed and absolutely preppy at the same time. 

He tended to do that. Looking cozy and put together all at once. 

“Hey, you.”, you smiled up and Namjoon held over his hand with a shy smile, opening it up. Inside was a single purple flower and once you saw it your cheeks turned bright red immediately. This had to be the cutest thing anyone has ever done for you. 

“Figured an entire bouquet would’ve been a little too much.”, he smiled confidently and pointed at the flower. “May I?”, he asked and hesitantly took a step towards you. Namjoon looped the stem of the flower through the unbutton top slit of your coat, making it look like brooch on your coat. 

“Thank you very much. It’s really pretty.”, you smiled, looking down at it and back to Namjoon who had pushed both his hands in his pockets now.

“Shall we?”, he asked and with a nod and a tingly feeling in your stomach, you turned to follow him as he turned towards the direction of town. 

If you’ve managed to read this far, I’d be more than thankful if you could like and reblog my chapter if you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions for improvement or a drabble request - make sure to shoot me a message!✨

© kooala (stealing, translating or reuploading to other sites is prohibited.) 

[thatanimenerd101]

What Is His Name?

Hello everybody. To start off I am NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE MANGA SO yeah. This little Drabble is actually based on a dream I had.

 Paring: Hawks (Keigo Takami) x female reader.

 Warnings: Mentions of depression (sort of) , self-doubt, drunk driving and mentions of baby.  But most importantly FLUFF! Now if any of these topics trigger you, don’t read ahead. You can make your own choices and please if any topics stated above make you uncomfortable don’t read.

 I’ve never written something this long before, but after this one. I will be taking a break from writing for a bit. I may write some stuff but I won’t post it. Maybe, maybe not. But I’ll still be on Tumblr, my ask box is still open, I would like to talk to my followers. But I don’t get much communication from you guys. I’d really like if my ask box would get something in it. But for now, I really want to thank the people who have helped me and given me ideas. I feel like I have a family on here. So, if you’d like to in my little tumblr family, all you have to do is comment. Well anyways on to the story.

Tag list: @queensynderella​, @keigos-dove​, @zyrielwolf​

Thank you to all these three people, they are wonderful. Go follow them.

 Word count: 2.1k

All art credit goes to Aoazura, I hope that’s spelled right. If not I’m sorry.

   You and Hawks have been dating for almost a year, you had known him since you were 20. It has been two years since he saved your life. That day you were taking a stroll and while crossing the street a drunk driver came out of no where and almost killed you. Hawks had been flying by when he used one of his feathers to pull you back to the sidewalk, while one of his sidekicks with a strength quirk stopped the car. Still in shock you couldn’t stand, only his feather held you up.

 “Are you okay miss?!” The sidekick ran to your side.

 You however couldn’t speak.

 “I’ll take this one, clean up here.” Hawks landed next to you and put an arm around your waist to hold you up, the feather that was holding you up was now floating in front of you.

 “Yes sir!” The sidekick said.

  Hawks picked you up bridal style and flew you to a rooftop. Once he landed, he set you down on the ground.

 “That was quite an experience, are you alright miss?”

 “I-I-I’m a little shaken up, but I’ll be okay. Thank you Hawks.” You bowed.

 “It’s no problem, it’s kinda my job to save people. I am a hero after all.” He was flying a few feet in the air, looking down at the city.  

 You looked at your phone, and you were going to be late for work.

 “H-Hawks?”

 “Yes?”

 “Can you fly me back down? I’m going to be late for work if I don’t catch the bus.” You showed him the time on your phone.

 “Why take a bus? When I can just fly you there, where do you work?”

 You had work at a nearby studio, a music one. Your quirk wasn’t related to music. Music was your hobby.

 “I work at the studio downtown, the music one.” You smiled sheepishly.

 “Oh?” He smirked. “You work with music?”

 “Yeah, it’s really fun and interesting. There’s something new everyday. But are you sure you have time to fly me, you are on duty?”

 He picked you up bridal style once more.

 “Of course, I have time, I am the man that goes too fast after all.”

 Before you could say anything, the both of you where in the sky. He wasn’t flying fast, but he slowly increased the pace he was flying at, so that your body wouldn’t go into shock.

   That day was a year and six months ago. After the day he saved you, the two of you would hangout on a rooftop and just talk. He wouldn’t talk much, but he listened to you. But one day you asked him out to dinner at your place. Hawks had been gaining trust with you, but he still hadn’t told you his real name. He couldn’t risk anyone knowing his real name.

  That night you cooked a chicken-based meal and you dressed up a bit. You didn’t mind waiting for him, he was a hero after all. You waited for an hour, you started to think he stood you up. I mean, he was really handsome and he could have anyone he wanted. Standing up from the table, the food was now cold. The wine in your glass was now gone. You took his glass that was still full and dumped it down the sink. You decided you would clean this up later, you sat down on the floor by your balcony and cried.

 You didn’t know how long you cried for but your clothes were wet from drying the tears. You had liked him and tonight proved that he didn’t feel the same.

 Well until you felt someone hugging you.

 “I’m sorry y/n.”

 You looked up and saw the man with wings staring at you. He wasn’t in his hero costume; he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

 You sniffed. “G-Go away.” The tears were running down your face again. You tried to push him away but he held you.

 “No, I won’t. I’m sorry that I’m late y/n, I had to do something before I came here. I would’ve texted you, but you know that there’s villains that hack into people’s phones. I can’t risk you getting hurt.” He picked you up and sat you down on the couch.

 You had a little too much wine to drink so you were a sobbing mess.

 “Okay, I forgive you Hawks. But I cooked dinner for us and now it’s all cold.” You huffed.

 “Awe, don’t worry we can still have dinner, and I smell chicken.”

 The two of you ate dinner after Hawks heated it up in the microwave. You didn’t drink any wine, besides, can’t fly and drink. That night he tugged you in bed and left a note on the fridge for you.

 “I had fun, next week Thursday I’ll treat you to dinner. Food was great.”

  Over the next few months, the two of you grown closer and closer. He still didn’t tell you his name and you respected that. The day he asked you to be his girlfriend was hilarious.

 You were at work talking with a few of your male co-workers, laughing and telling jokes. Until your boss busted in the door.

 “L/n you have a guest in your office for you.”

 He decorated your office with roses and once you opened the door, he hugged you and asked you to be his girlfriend.

 “Yes, Hawks I will be your girl.”

 Everyone you worked with didn’t say anything to anyone about your relationship.

  Tonight, was your one-year anniversary of dating. Sometimes you didn’t see him for weeks but you trusted him. All because of the charm he made you. It was some of his small feathers on a keychain. He told you that is you were ever in trouble; he would be by your side in a second. You would play with the feathers and if you were stressed it would help you calm down. Hawks had moved in with you, he said he liked your place better. It seemed like home. But something was bothering you again. After two years, he still hadn’t told you his real name. You had nicknames for each other, but he never told you his name. You had enough of it, you’d known him for two years and he still wouldn’t tell you. Every time you’d ask, he switched the topic. So, once he got home you were going to talk to him. Did he not love you anymore? Did he get bored of you? Was it your body? You began to doubt yourself. You never had sex with him, the two of you agreed to wait for a while. Sex was an open topic you tell talked about sometimes.

 When he got home, he had a rose in his hand.

“Hey Dove I’m home!” He waited a minute for you to run to him and give him his usual hug and welcome home kiss. But you didn’t.

 He found you in your shared bedroom, laying on the bed.

  “Dove? Are you okay?” He sat down on the bed; his hero costume was on the floor.

 You decided to let it out.

 “No, I’m not okay.” You said while your voice cracked.

 “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 “You know almost everything about me, but I barely know you. I don’t even know your name! I only knew you as Hawks! How am I supposed to marry someone if you don’t even know their name!”

 Something snapped in him.

 “Okay, I’ll tell you everything.” He told you about his past and how he was forced to become a hero.

 He cried, the both of you cried together. It was sad of what he went threw, and his last.

 “From now on y/n, call me Keigo. My real name is Keigo Takami. Don’t ever call me Hawks, unless we are in public around people.

 “Yes, Keigo.”

 He started to tear up again.

 “Say my name again.”

 “Keigo.” You smiled and he smiled. The biggest smile you’d ever seen.

 “Keigo, Keigo, Keigo.” You said again and again.

 “I love you y/n.”

 “I love you too Keigo.”

 That night the both of you decided to watch Netflix and he told you more about himself, his family. But this was the best night of the two of yours lives. You were cuddled up and kissing him on his face, lips and along his jawline.

  “Y/n?”

 “Yes Kei?”

“Now that I told you everything, there’s something else I wanted to tell you.”

 You looked up at him and waiting for him to continue.

 “I’m taking off of work for a while, the commission said I needed to take time off, and they are sending me to a beach and I wanted you to come with me. It’s a vacation, and since I don’t think I’ll get something like this for a while, I want you to come with me.”

 You smiled.

 “Yes! I’d love to come with you! When do we leave?”

 “Next week Monday, love.”

 You kissed him and smiled.

 “We should pack tomorrow, now it’s late and we both need sleep.” He carried you back to your shared bedroom.

 He held you close and nuzzled your cheek; you nuzzled his neck. You feel asleep cuddling the man you loved.

  It was your last day at the beach, the sun was setting. It was very romantic; you were standing on the shore letting the waves crash into your feet. Keigo’s hand intertwining with yours, he looked at you and smiled. He let go of your hand and got down on one knee and you gasped.

 “I’ve known you for long time, but it feels like forever.  I want to be able To spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a family with you. I want you in my life forever y/n. So y/n m/n l/n will you marry me? I promise I’ll be the best husband I can be, for you.” He pulled out a ring from his pocket, it was beautiful. It had a Dimond in the middle with two red stones on each side of the diamond.

 “Yes, Keigo I will marry you.”

 He put the ring on your ring finger and he hugged you tightly. You were flying in the air. He was going to marry you some day. You would be his wife and he would be your husband.

Once the both of you landed, he kissed you again and again. You laughed and kissed him back each time. He was happy and so where you.

   One year later.

  Today was the big day, after many weeks of planning, shopping and getting everything ready. Today was the day of the wedding.

  You walked down the aisle in your white gown. Keigo was trying not to cry, only family and friends were allowed to attend.

 You both said your vows.

 “I do.” You both said.

 He kissed you, like he hasn’t seen you in years. Everyone cheered. You were finally together, forever.

    After your honeymoon weeks went by, well until Keigo asked you a question.

 “Hey, isn’t your period late? You haven’t asked for ice cream or anything in a while.”

 You looked at your phone, you never really payed attention to your cycle.

You were 3 weeks late.

 “Yeah, it’s late. But it’s probably with all the excitement that’s throwing off my clock. But if it doesn’t come tomorrow, I’ll call the doctor- “

 “I’ll come with you.” He smiled.

      “Well congratulations Mrs. Takami, your pregnant!” The nurse cheered and smiled. Since you went to your female doctor Keigo was waiting on the roof top for you.

 “I’m going to be a mother?” You were in shock and very happy.

  “Yes, you are about four weeks along. Now I am going to need to see in a week for a check-up, then after that every three to four weeks.”

 All you could do was rest your hands on your stomach, you had a baby inside you.

 When you told Keigo he almost cried.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5: Caring Is a Hazard to Your Health (#27)

We keep shuffling through the room, and I make sure to check behind the file cabinet with Mahavir’s help, but nothing new is turning up. That’s all right. Wasn’t really expecting anything. 

“So, we good?”

“Yeah, I think we’ve checked everything.”

“Thanks for tagging along.”

“No prob, brah.”

“...”

“Are we going to rejoin the others? I’d like to rest for a bit, but that still requires a group, so to speak.”

“I wouldn’t mind settling down for a while.”

“Like, I still got sports ‘n’ stuff to talk about?”

“I might stick with that side ‘f things.”

“Okay. Guess we’re moving the groups around after all. Think you can make it to the gym, Mahavir?”

“Yes.”

Awful lot of trouble, but off we go. Yuki and, surprisingly, Aidan end up joining our “group” to split up in the dorms. All very exciting.

“...”

Guess I’ll be spending a lot of time in here. It’s roomy, at least. The bath’s fine. Conditions could certainly be worse.

Aside from the killing game.

It’s fine. I can’t see everyone respecting the lockdown rules 24/7, but if the opportunities to kill are still harder to come by... we shouldn’t have much to worry about, right?

...

Yuki, Mahavir, and I have our last cooking lesson for a while, with Tsunyasha hanging around to round out the arrangement. I’d like to think I’m getting better at this, but...

Considering where I started, that may not mean much.

...

“Hello, students! It is now nighttime, so, um! Don’t try to go in the cafeteria or anything, and don’t sleep anywhere but the dormitories! I-I’ll see you in the morning…!”

...

“Um, hello! Good morning! It is now 7:00, so the off-limits areas have been reopened! And, um! You have three days left if you want to save your loved ones! Everyone do your best today…!”

Don’t appreciate the countdown to death there. But I guess it’s also our countdown to going back to normal. 

Well, whatever counts as normal in this place.

Kind of have to wonder what “normal” would even be for us without all of this happening. Considering the people in this class, I doubt it would be any closer to “ordinary”. I can only wonder who’s supposed to be in that resident director office. Are they used to managing crowds like this? I’m sure Apex Academy has turned out its fair share of eccentrics, but it’s hard to imagine this class isn’t full of top runners.

Anyway. I’d better get to breakfast.

I ready myself for the day and head out. Guess I put the speed on today, because I’m the first one in the hall. Then again, half of us are seriously injured, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

I start for the main set of doors and reach for a handle. My usual amount of hesitation may be a boon today, because there’s a holler from behind before I can touch it.

“Hey, hey, hang on!!”

I pull back and turn around.

“Good morning to you, too?”

Aidan, still only halfway through his door, pants for a second before wheeling himself farther along.

“Er, yes, that, too, thank you.”

“Anyway, I believe I stated we would all gather before leaving the dorm area for breakfast, so if you don’t mind...”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

I step back just in time for more of us to start filtering in.

“Goooooood morning, everybody!”

“Good morning...”

“Everybody ready to have A Day?”

“Do we have a choice?”

Tsunyasha, when she comes, attempts to shoulder past me.

“Excuse me?”

“If you insist. Consider this a pardon.”

“...”

“What? Do you truly expect me to kowtow to some sinner’s demands?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Goodness.”

“The foolishness in this building is even worse than I had imagined.”

“As fair as that might be, do you mind staying back for one more minute?”

“We only have one more person to wait on.”

“The legless one, yes? I’ve no particular need to greet him.”

“Rude.”

A sudden ripping noise makes me turn around. Aside from Aidan guarding the door with his back to us—guess it’s easier than trying to wheel himself around the other way—nothing seems off.

“Is everything all right...?”

“I think so?”

“Yes, as far as I can tell. At any rate, we might as well keep up conversation.”

“Okay! Does anybody wanna play a game?”

“I spyyyyyy...”

“There’s nothing to spy except doors and each other.”

“Yup!”

Well, he’s sure not disappointed, somehow.

Before he can try to stir up a rousing game of I Spy regardless, Tsunyasha goes over to Kaichi’s door and knocks loudly.

“Fool! Are you yet slumbering?”

So she... is cooperating?

For now. I’m sure she’ll give it up soon enough.

“Let the dude sleep if he wants.”

“Not an option at the moment, I’m afraid. Even if Mister Riseiin will have to go off notes, he is needed at the meetings.”

“Are we discussing x-rays today?”

“My ankle is fine.”

“I doubt that’s the issue.”

“Er, no, I only mean that everyone needs to be present. We’ve gone over this, haven’t we?”

“Uh...”

“I think so!”

Just before Tsunyasha tries to rip the whole doorknob off, Kaichi’s door opens.

“ ‘s there a fire ‘r something, brah?”

“No, you’ve a while yet before you face the pits of Hell.”

“Sweet.”

“Are all of the notes on your door intact, Mister Riseiin?”

Kaichi ducks back to check.

“Looks like?”

“Good. Are we all ready to go, then?”

“Ummm-hummm...”

She heaves a sigh. “At long last, yes.”

The procession heads to the cafeteria, then halves for the kitchen. Apparently Kaichi and I are the guest chefs today, with Yuki and Mahavir at their normal stations. Better than everyone trying to cook in here at once.

And certainly better than trusting Tsunyasha and Ichiriki to make my food for me.

Eventually we settle down for the meeting. Still have a lot of cooking to do after we get through the agenda, though.

“...”

“...”

“Are we... starting the meeting at some point?”

Aidan looks up from his toast.

“Of course! Excuse me.”

He clears his throat.

“All right! Is everyone ready to get down to business?”

“I do wonder, do you even intend to ask anyone besides yourself for announcements this time?”

“If you have anything that goes against our current emergency plan, then no, I would prefer you not announce it or otherwise go through with it!”

“But if there’s anything else of importance, by all means, feel free to announce it!”

“Hmph. What a farce.”

“Kay, if we’re, like, done bashing on each other for no reason?”

“IT’S SPORTS DAY, BABY!″

“A whole day, huh.”

“That’s correct! We’ll begin in the gym, with the possibility of moving on to some other rooms depending on how long the event lasts!”

“You don’t know?”

“We’ll pretty much have the event until one or more of us need to leave, so it’s hard to be sure, yes.”

“Considering certain parties, I’d like to hope we’ll at least be able to start on those terms.”

“By ‘certain parties,’ you mean Tsunyasha, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yo, Tsuntsun? If you screw this up for us, like, I will beat the crap outta you. Just sayin’.”

“No threats!!!”

“Oh? Don’t you wish you could do such a thing, whelp.”

“Dude, I don’t care what kinda assassin you are, you’re totally not invincible.”

“Like, with all the fancy holy stuff prolly at least mostly? But not totally.”

“How impious.”

“It would be nice if you cooperated, though...”

“We don’t have that many opportunities... to have fun like this, you know?”

“Hmph. I need not bend to your whims.”

“Do you want some dorayaki...?”

“...An exchange could be suitable.”

What a trump card.

“Okay! Once we’ve prepared all our food for the day, we’ll return to our rooms for a few minutes before the sports begin.”

“So we doing, like, Jap’nese school sports festival stuff ‘r what?”

“That would be, like, super fancy?!”

“A bit ambitious for our current situation, I’m afraid.”

“We’ll just have some games that should be manageable for those interested in participating.”

“And plenty of room for those who prefer to watch.”

“Oh, oh!!! Are you gonna do the color commententating?”

“No. He is not.”

“...”

“Aw...”

“But yeah, we got, like, a list of stuff to try and go through?”

“Should I read ‘em off, or should it be a surprise? Hmm...”

“Considering the high likelihood we won’t get through all of them, it may be less disappointing to keep it a surprise.”

“Tru.”

“Is there any setup beforehand?”

“Not really. At least, not for the first event. There may be some setup after that, but we’ll have time to work on it then without keeping everyone waiting.”

I was more concerned about a group going off ahead of time, but I guess that answers the question.

“Any more questions?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“All right! We’ll have a good deal of time left in the meeting to get the rest of our meals prepared, so if there are any other concerns or announcements, feel free to bring them up anytime!”

“Until then, that’s all I have to say.”

I turn back to my breakfast.

Sports Day, huh? I have to wonder what most of us can do in our condition. But I guess it’s not a bad idea. Get some team spirit going, or something.

Better than sitting around alone thinking about that little sliver of a possibility Monochap’s going to follow through on his threat if no one dies.

“...”

Well, it won’t do me much good to think about it surrounded by people, either. Let’s just keep moving.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[chasingrobbie]

The Doctor Is In: Chapter 1 - Part 1 (Open Heart Book 1)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Harper Dorian) 

Word count: 2000

Warning: None 

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to take the plunge and have a go at publishing a bit of a series. As I’ve been replaying Book 1 I’ve just wanted to explore Ethan’s character more, so I started writing entirely from his perspective. 

This ‘series’ (hopefully I don’t get frustrated with myself and stop) takes the events from Book 1 as they are and then I have added my own stuff. I’d love feedback from anyone who give this a read. 

Yes, my MC has the same name and Harper Emery but that’s what it’s always been so yeah. I’ll make a joke out of it somewhere I’m sure.

Aaaand if you want to be tagged in future parts, let me know :)

Ethan’s well-worn running shoes hit the pavement with force as he lengthened his stride. The air was crisp and clean, the kind of air that stung the lungs, the kind of morning that he treasured; he inhaled deeply, desperate to drink in the solitude. This time to himself was never enough to satisfy the drain from the myriad of inane questions that awaited him each day at the hospital. Though today was different. Ethan knew that. The new interns were starting today. Nervous energy would flitter through the wards, trepidation and generally misplaced confidence would permeate the halls. Some of the best young new medical minds in the country had been hand selected by Ethan and the other notable staff of Edenbrook. God, all he could hope was that they didn’t cost him too many patients.

As usual, Ethan arrived at Edenbrook early to seek further sanctuary in the walls of his office. He poured through his current patients charts that had been updated in the short time he had been away from the hospital. It was becoming increasingly commonplace for him to fall asleep on the couch in his office. Jenner was really the only thing that pulled him back to his apartment with much regularity.

Slowly, the morning approached 8:30 and he knew that the interns would be gathering soon for their opening address from Harper. How far she had come still managed to shock Ethan at times. She had always been a formidable woman; it was one of the many reasons he had been attracted to her. But it was different now. She was different now. Ethan drank deeply from his coffee mug, the rich warmth spreading through his chest as he closed his eyes. A languid and purposeful inhalation filled his lungs as the familiar beep of his pager pulled him from his reverie. Naveen wanted to see him. Quickly, Ethan slugged back the last of his coffee, slipped on his white coat and left the privacy of his office.

Making his way through the hospital was always a task, so many people wanted pieces of his time. Though Ethan had not anticipated what was about to quite literally crash into his morning. Into his life. He was discussing one of his patients with a nurse when a commotion could be heard from the waiting area. Without hesitation he moved to help.

“Everybody, step back! I’m a doctor.” A voice cut through the confusion and concern of the onlookers. Ethan had been too far away to see who had spoken but judging by the ridiculousness of the declaration, that they are in fact a doctor in a hospital, he assumed it was an intern. And he wasn’t wrong, he’s never wrong. Quickly, he knelt down by the woman’s side. Adrenaline never took long to flood his veins. There was a time when his breathing would have been erratic because of it but now it fuelled him.

“Pulse is weak. She’s unresponsive.” Ethan stated without incident. It was then that he glanced around him and saw the intern he supposed had called for everyone to clear the area. The juxtaposition smeared across her face was all too familiar – total fear clashing against abject excitement. He remembered the feeling all too well. Their eyes met and Ethan noticed something else etched in the intern’s warm green eyes. It took him a moment to place what it was. It looked like resolve, which in the eyes of an intern was a rarity.

“You. Rookie. Get in here.” Ethan’s tone was clear and direct, as always.

“Coming!” The intern shouted without an ounce of hesitation. Ethan eased the patient into his arms and onto a nearby gurney. Before he could register it, the intern was at his side. Ethan could feel the heat rolling from her body. He needed to be careful, there was every chance she could be overtaken by the fire to help and make a costly error. He needed to help her focus, just as he had learnt to do.  

“What was she coming in for? Did she fill out a form yet?” Ethan quickly asked one of the nurses, Danny nearby.

“No, she’d just walked in,” Danny said dejectedly, his shoulders falling, knowing this could likely mean her death.

“If we don’t figure out what’s wrong with her fast, she’s gonna die on this table,” frustration was building in Ethan. Knots formed in his chest, the warmth and relief of his morning coffee replaced with thundering torrents of fear. He took in a languid and purposeful inhalation to steady himself.

“Rookie, check her B.P.” Ethan met the intern’s eyes for a second time, streaks of desperation had replaced her excitement.  

“It’s plummeting. She’s hypotensive. We’ve gotta get fluids in her,” the intern voice was accelerated but the tone was steady. She was doing well. Ethan was impressed. Almost instantly, Danny placed the I.V and the patient weakly clutched at the young intern’s hand.

“Doctor, look at this bruise. It wasn’t there before,” the urgency in the intern’s voice was evident. Ethan’s attention shifted to the deep bruise the was blooming on the patient’s arm.

“That’s the elbow she landed on when she fell. A bruise forming that fast would suggest that this woman is a haemophiliac. Good catch.” Ethan was further impressed. If the patient’s life didn’t hang in the balance, he may have even smiled.

“Also see her fingertips? Low oxygen saturation in her blood. Take a closer listen to her lungs. Hurry.”

“I can’t hear anything on her left side! And her right lung is struggling! Doctor, she’s going to suffocate!” The intern was frantic, but Ethan could still make out the resolve in her eyes. He hadn’t lost her yet.

“Nurse, we’ve got a code blue.” The words left Ethan’s mouth in cool trail. He’d done this enough to breathe through the chaos and the looming vultures, but he could tell that the intern was astonished and impressed by his calm exterior. He took the bag mask from the nurse and gently pumped air into the woman’s lungs. His hands moved with precision and practiced rhythm. The intern’s eyes raked over him and he was acutely aware of her eyes resting on him. Strangely, he liked it.  

“What do we do, Doctor? What’s happening to her?” Fear had continued to strangle the intern’s voice, Ethan knew if he didn’t pull her back from the precipice, she’d be overcome with it. Slowly, deliberately he uttered words of reassurance to tether her to him in this shared moment of crisis.

“Consider all the clues. It’s all there. You know this, Rookie.”

“It’s…it’s, uh…” Ethan watched entranced as she closed her eyes and took the same languid and purposeful inhalation he had taken earlier. Her eyes fell open and Ethan knew she had it.

“It’s a hemothorax!” Relief swum across her features.

“Precisely. A blood vessel ruptured and is filling her pleural cavity…”

“…blocking her lungs from expanding! That’s why she can’t breathe! But we can’t repair the blood vessel here!” The intern finished Ethan’s explanation and quickly reached the conclusion he had come to about a minute earlier. Again, a juxtaposition of emotions was spread across her face; satisfaction, dread and panic.

“We’ll have to do an emergency thoracotomy to drain the cavity instead. Nurse!” The nurse gave the scalpel and chest tube to the intern who had to quite visibly gulp down her clots of fear. Ethan lifted the patient’s shirt to expose the side of her rib cage. The flesh is too hot beneath his fingertips.

“We need a local anesthetic—” The intern’s fear was running away from her. Her voice trailed, lost amongst the temper of the moment. Ethan set his features into a firm and unforgiving line.

“We’re outta time! Do it now, or this woman’s life is on you!” Ethan’s voice was emphatic and authoritative as it rang clear through the throng of anxious onlookers. The intern’s eyes shifted, followed by a sharp intake of air. Ethan could hear her muttering the steps under her breath.

“Incision at the fifth intercostal space…anterior…to the mid axillary line…” Her hand was quivering. Almost instinctively Ethan reached out and took her trembling fingers in his own to steady them. Her skin was ablaze, tension radiated from it but he felt her relax into him. He found her eyes, his gaze softening as he took them in. The green edges of her irises were mottled with a golden hue. He’d never seen anything like them before.

“Hey…you can do this.” Ethan breathed the words out and the room had melted away. The onlookers, the nursing staff, no one else was there but them. She nodded and focused on her unsteady hand. Ethan still had her hand enshrouded in his own but now he could feel the trembling subside. Tension was replaced with resolve.

“There you go. Nice and easy.” Ethan voice cuts the air once more. Time had been suspended but the incision of the scalpel brought the rest of the world back into clear focus.

“Now the tube.” Hands still connected; they push the tube into the woman’s chest. Warm, crimson blood spurts from her side but quickly the blood begins to drain. The woman takes in a sharp breath. The intern is visibly elated. Fear and resolve are replaced with genuine delight and a little disbelief.

“We…we did it!” Ethan still has her hand in his, he squeezes it reassuringly. For a moment, Ethan thought she was going to attempt to hug him. Maybe she was.

“She’s stable. Get her into surgery…She’s gonna make it.” Applause erupts around them. For the first time in minutes, Ethan is reminded of the crowd gathered in the waiting room. The patient is wheeled away, the familiar wave of relief washes over Ethan. These moments. These victories. They are what give him the strength to continue through the tedium of his days, the times when he doesn’t succeed, when he can’t help.

“Doctor…that was…absolutely amazing!” The young intern turned to Ethan; she was still obviously riding the high of this first real-world victory. Ethan knew what he had to do. She had shown so much promise. He needed to push her.

“You’re right. It’s pretty amazing you didn’t get her killed.” The words fell from Ethan’s mouth in a cold tumble, heavy and loaded. He watched the joy crumble and confusion stretch its away across her face before she even spoken.

“Wait, what?” Her voice was smaller now. Ethan had to be pedantic, he needed her to walk away from this questioning what she could have done any better. The endless pursuit of perfection is what every doctor needed.

Ethan continued, matter of fact and critical. “Your examination was slow and superficial. Your scalpel technique, amateur at best…”

“Amateur?” She cut him off before he could continue. The edge to her voice was hostile not apologetic. She wasn’t upset, she was frustrated. He liked that. A glimmer sparked in her eyes.

“Maybe you could give me private lessons.” She smirked at him coyly.

“Ha! I just might, Doctor…” Ethan couldn’t help but smile. Her confidence took him aback. He grabbed the ID card hanging from her lanyard and inspected it closely. A realisation dawned on him; he knew who she is. Ethan recovered his composure in the split second.

“…Dorian. But I sincerely doubt you could afford my salary.”  

Ethan turned to leave, smiling to himself, and continued making his way to Naveen’s office. He could hear the murmurs of the onlookers as he departed. Yet, Ethan could only think about the intern. She was the one he had selected. She truly lived up to her application and test scores. Few interns could do what she just did on their first day. But there was something else. Ethan ruminated on it for a moment before her eyes seeped into his consciousness again. And that was where he left them as he continued down the hall.

The eyes of the intern remained fixed on Ethan as he walked away.

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Soooooo yeah let me know what you think about if you’d be interested in reading Part 2 of Chapter 1. 

Thanks for reading!

Adding a tag for @choicesficwriterscreations 😘

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

meet cute pt2 (everybody knows)

Shigaraki does end up texting the number Natsou gave him, a lot more often than he expected to. It isn’t a good idea, he knows. However it does prove handy when Shigaraki needs to get into the library or when he needs to know how deep a cut has to be before you need stitches. So he uses the excuse that Natsou is useful and keeps texting him.

Even when Natsou continues to flirt with him and starts giving him the nickname of ‘cutie’. It caused him to blush every time. Natsou hadn’t gotten tired of watching him get flustered yet.

“Hey Nat can you come grab a book for me? I can’t reach it and I haven't seen a stool or anything around”  Shig asks.

He gets up from his textbooks and comes over.Instead of following where Shigaraki was pointing though he wraps his hands around Shigaraki’s waist and lifts him up.

“This work cutie?”

Shigarakis stomach swoops pleasantly, shit Natsou was strong. He lets his brain take a few minutes to reboot. 

What was he after again? Was Natsou even struggling to hold him up as he tried to repair his brain? 

“Really? I've told you I have a destructive quirk, what if I had used it on you?” He fakes some annoyance while he grabs the title he had been looking at. 

“You wear gloves all the time just so you don’t accidentally destroy something with a quirk you've lived with for 16 years. I highly doubt you’d ever use your quirk on me without meaning to” he reasons.

“Put me down” Shigaraki demands and holds on tightly to Natsou’s well muscled arms until his feet are safely on the ground again. Just because Natsou might drop him and no other reason.

“Maybe I just wanted to hold you for a bit? Besides, your face is even cuter when you're flustered Shig.” Natsou smirks.

“You really need to get your damn eyes checked.”  Shig sasses as he heads back to the tables.

“I’m pretty sure I can see just fine.” Natsou shoots back as follows him.

They study in relative silence for a few more hours until Natsou starts to pack up. It’s a little earlier than he normally does and Shigaraki glances up in confusion.

“Want to get some coffee? I know a cafe nearby that's 24 hours and you're here later than I am every night. I refuse to believe you can do that without caffeine.” Natsou asked as he shoved the last notebook into his messenger bag.

“You just want an excuse to take me out,'' Shigaraki grumbled.But he smiled while doing so. He was sweet and seemed to mean all the compliments he kept throwing Shigs way. If Natsou ever actually asked him out on a date he would go. Man is way out of his league and Shig knows it, he probably was just joking. He started packing up anyways, he has to be up in a few hours for LoV business.

“So that’s a yes?” Natsou grins and adjusts his bag a little on his shoulder.

“Wait, you're serious? You're actually asking me out?”

“Wait, you thought I was joking about finding you attractive?”

“Yes? Not in like a bad way I guess, but I didn't think you would seriously want to take me out either?” Shigaraki winced his own self doubt in his voice. He sure as fuck didn’t sound like the leader of the most dangerous villians in japan right now.

“Well, I wasn't. I'm serious. Would you like to go on a date and come get some coffee with me Shig?” Natsou smiled and held out his hand.

“You know what? Why the hell not. I’d love to Natsou.” Shig shoved his notebook into his own backpack.

“You seem to care about your roommates a lot? What’s the story there?” Natsou asked as they left the library and started walking to the cafe.

“I'll tell you what the story is if you tell what the story is with you studying your ass off in a library by yourself every night is” Shigaraki said hoping Natsou wouldn’t actually answer and drop the subject. He has no idea how to explain the league to anyone not in it. How close they are and what they've gone through.

“My dad is an ass hat who only thinks about quirks and power. He’s wealthy but wont help me out, so I've got to keep my grades up for a free ride scholarship.”Natsou didn't look at shigaraki as he spoke in a calm voice.

“Quirks aren't everything and I think you're doing more for society as is than anyone else is right now, heros are glorified cops. On a power trip. The general public’s reaction to them makes it so much worse. No one helps out their community anymore.” Shigaraki didn’t sound as crazy as he once would have. Tearing down society would only create more situations like what the league members had come from.

“My roommates and I are very close to answer your question. We’ve all had a rough time and some bad luck. So we tend to look out for each other.”

“How’s your friend with the villainous quirk doing? Or is there a better term I can use for that? Quirks don't make a person so it feels wrong to call her a villain based on that? I have to admit i don't have many friends and don't know what most people with quirks like that call them.”

“The fact that you're asking is everything she could ask for. Just call it a quirk. She actually likes her quirk; it's everyone else that's the problem.” the fact that Toga is a villain didn’t really matter. So was he and yet he was out on a date with a pre med student who was way out of his league.

“We’re here, I think you're going to like this place.” Natsou brings them to a stop outside a small cafe.

“You brought me to a cat cafe?” he whispers. There’s a black cat about a year or so old that’s walking back and forth along the window. When Shigaraki makes eye contact it puts it paw up against the window and paws at the glass separating them. He can faintly hear the purr through the glass.

“If there’s one thing cuter than cats it's a cutie holding a cat” Natsou squeezed his hand in his.

“I still can’t believe you think I'm cute?” It was just a little unbelievable to shig, that someone so attractive looking and smart in a field where he could truly help others would take an interest in him.

“You're very cute Shig, like how you hide behind your hair when you're flustered and how you blush when I give you compliments, what made me want to ask you out is that you care so much about your friends. you sneak out every night into a library and study as hard as a premed student.” he states seriously and when Shigaraki goes to hide his face behind his hair again he grabs his chin gently, so he can look him in the eyes.

“I-Okay. You know I find you attractive too right?” 

“I hope so! You're finally on a date with me!” Natsou jokes and holds open the door for him.

The cafe is split in two parts inside. One half has the cats and some chairs and toys set up among the cat trees and beds.The other half of the cafe is covered in plants. Every table has at least 2 and the door has some sort of exoctic and colorful vine growing all around it. If Shigaraki didn't know better he would say it moved when they came in. There's no cheerful bell to announce them coming in but the barista behind the counter seems to hear the door open anyways and greets them without looking up from wiping down the counter.

“Hello, I'll be with you in just one moment.” 

Shigaraki froze, he had forgotten that he was a nation wide known villain and that he would be recognized if he did something as simple as go to a cat cafe.

Shigaraki stood awkwardly next to Natsou and looked at the menu. He had no idea what a purrachino was or a meowchiato but the cats next to the images looked adorable. He ended up ordering a random drink. Hoping the red head wouldn’t look up the entire time he was there.

Natsou ordered tea and brought out his wallet. 

“Your total comes to - Oh i know you.” The redhead who’s name tag read kurama stared at Shigaraki in shock.

He couldn’t believe he had forgotten, That his roommates and himself were all wanted villains. Very famous wanted villains. He winced and started trying to wiggle out of one glove while the other stayed in Natsou’s hand. He would probably have to decay kurama and fight his way out to avoid being arrested.

“Hello , it’s nice to see you again.” he tried to play off like he knew the barista. Maybe buy himself a few seconds and get the damn glove off. He was going to miss the quiet evenings with Natsou.

Kuruma looked down at his hand linked in Natsou’s and his attempts to get out of his glove.

“It’s okay! Um we didn’t get along in school but everybody gets a new lease on life or something right?” kurama smiled at them and set about taking the money from Natsou. Acting like nothing was wrong and even throwing Shigaraki a lifeline to get himself out of the situation.

“I hadn’t thought I would see anyone from umm school.” He mutters and as hard as it is for him to not look at the floor he holds eye contact with kurama.

“I won’t tolerate the same kind of trouble you got up to in school in my cafe but you're welcome here anytime you want some coffee and a quiet place to bring your friend” kurama smiled and placed the hot drink’s down down.

“Can we go see the cats?” Shigaraki asked to change the subject. Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth but also really wanting to pet the cats pacing alongside the window in the other room.

“Hmm no one else should be coming in for a couple hours and although we usually lock them away at night i can make an exception for you two.”He grabs a set of keys off the wall and lets them in. 

“Don’t pick them up but we can see if they will sit in our laps when we sit down.” Natsou waves his fingers at a giant orange cat that was beelining for him.

“Do you  come here often? That one seems to know you.” Shigaraki sat in a nearby chair and the cat black cat from before crawled into his lap. He stroked the fur baby and he tried to find the name off one of the sheets on the wall. The sheets on the wall had their pictures names and information about how to adopt them.

“I do, I would take this big guy home but my dorm doesn't allow cats. The guy you're holding is called spade. He doesn't usually warm up to people.” Natsou said and watched as two more cats came and curled up around Shigaraki. Another cat came and curled up in between them an older tortoise shell named turtle. A tiny white one started dragging a wand toy over.

Natsou smirked and took out his phone. His boyfriend was being buried in cats and it was too cute to not become his background.

Shigaraki sipped at his coffee and stroked the cats around him. He hadn't been sure what it was when he ordered it but it tasted heavenly. A mix of coffee, chocolate and something that made it slightly spicy with whip cream. 

“I took a picture of you for my background. Is that okay?''

“Only if you don’t show anyone else” He had already gotten lucky with the barista recognizing him and not calling a hero or freaking out.

“Aww are you embarrassed? you look so cute here!” he teased and Shig tried to turn his face away before Natsou could see him blush.

“A little” he admitted and started playing with the toy the cat had dragged over to him.

“At what? Me taking pictures? Me taking pictures of you or me talking pictures of you playing with the cats?”  he gently prodded.

“Both I guess?”

“Look at how cute you look Shig” Natsou showed him the photo he had just taken.

The photo showed Shigaraki differently than he was used to seeing himself. He looks normal for once. In jeans and a regular shirt instead of dirty sweats. Hair cleaned, brushed and bangs pulled back on top of his head with a hair tie stolen off Magne. He actually looks decent if you ignore the scars on his neck or face.

“Yeah I'm okay with it I guess, you know you're kinda a sap. Calling me a cutie all the time and paying for me. You're even taking pictures of our first date and setting me as your background.” he smiled.

“I mean it when I say I like you Shig and if we get the chance to let this go somewhere I really want to be able to look back on our first date”

“A sap. You're a complete sap.”

‘Says the guy buried in cats- hey charlie! You've betrayed me.” the orange cat that had been getting attention from Natsou moved on to Shigaraki and started rubbing up against him. The tiny white cat that had been playing had exhausted herself and already joined the black one in his lap.

“I'm being buried in cats Nat! Help!” Shigaraki, honest to god giggled. They stayed for about a half hour and then had to leave. Their time was up.Shigaraki had a team to lead , although he told Natsou he had to work, and Natsou had to go to class. 

Kurama stopped them on their way out the door.

“A few years ago I needed a fresh start and I got one, if you are working towards the same thing I'm happy to help Shigaraki san.”He gave Shigaraki a fern with purple flowers.

“A gift , it will help you on your way to a fresh start” he smiled and wrote out a short list of instructions while they waited.

“Thank you kurama san.” Shigaraki says and checks his gloves before he takes the potted plant. It shivers twice when he takes it and then is still.

Natsou smirks at Kurama and nudges Shigaraki's shoulder.

“He gave me a plant too the first time I came in. They seem to be hard to kill. No matter how often I forget to water it, it always bounces back to life.” He smiled and grabbed a knitted hat from a box.

“If I got you a cat ear hat would you wear it?” 

“Give it here and we’ll see” Shigaraki snatched the bright blue blob of fabric and immediately put it on. Once it was on he quickly pulled out his phone and took a selfie with Natsou. Natsou was looking at Shig and had one arm around his shoulder. You could practically see the hearts in his eyes as he looked at Shig. 

“Now I have a new background too” he put his phone away and went to put the knitted hat back in the box Natsou had gotten it from.

“You can keep the hat’ kurama started shutting off lights as he shooed the two of them out.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, and it's too late for you to argue with me.  I have to close up shop so i'm afraid i have to kick you two love birds out.”

“We’re going kurama, thank you for everything.” Natsou grabbed Shigaraki’s hand and pulled them out of the cafe.

“I guess we have to go our separate ways now” Shigaraki pulled the cat hat back on. 

“Yeah i guess so,but um you have my- can i kiss you Shig?” Natsou blurted out.

“Please” Shig met Natsou halfway. Leaning up to meet Natsou’s lips. It was sweet and chaste and everything he wanted a first kiss to be. Soft and pliant and with someone he really liked being with.

“Call me?” Natsou leaned down for another kiss.

“We got stuff to do Nat, I’ll call you later tonight.” Shigaraki pulled himself away from Natsou and started his long walk home.

@night-owl-1234 after a long wait i have a update!

[beansiewritesstuff]

Zagreus vs The Mortal Coil

Lmao okay so let me explain! So maybe five or so months ago I got really into the game Hades, and I did that thing I do where I immediately create like five thousand OCs and a new plotline for it because I love it so much. This is an idea that spawned from my thoughts on what shenanigans might find Zagreus once he starts exploring more of the surface in the time he has there. I also wanted to explore how he might interact with mortals, and what he thinks of them considering he’s only got what others tell him to go on. I decided a baby would be an interesting dynamic for him, and an opportunity for him to grow further beyond what the events of the game allow. Still debating whether to write the baby as a reader insert or a character of my own? Also I wanted to test out writing using 1st person so consider this an experiment. Next part will be from Zag’s PoV again, but I think I’ll write from the human’s PoV once I age them up a little more.

So with all that said, I just wanted to go ahead and tag @heckpuppyy because we’ve been talking recently and I like you. This isn’t quite the Aconite piece I have planned for you, but it is Hades so I hoped that you would still enjoy it! Happy reading everybody!

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Suppose this whole situation may be entirely my fault.

It’d been a good while since I last died on an attempt. Long enough that I started to get bored. Making it to the surface had become commonplace for me, and so I began exploring for the brief time I’m able to exist up there. I’d just pick a direction and walk. Which is how I stumbled into this. Perhaps father was right when he said my casual curiosity would get the better of me someday. I always sort of agreed with him; though I never expected something like this. Then again, who but the Fates would?

Mortal behaviour has always been strange, at least to me. Or foreign, I guess. Talking to willing Shades and reading stories of them does little to help expand my understanding. Still, as I think most Gods are, I can’t help but to be intrigued by them. There’s almost a bizarre beauty in their existence, short though it may be. Yet there are also things about them that confuse me to bitterness. Things that strike too close to my father’s behaviour for my liking. Such as, for instance, leaving children out in the mountains to succumb to Demeter’s Winter.

I really hadn’t been walking long before I heard the cries. At first, I thought it might have been an animal in pain. Though I’d heard as many instances of that as I had human infants crying, at the time. It was very odd, this immediate tug in my chest at the noise. Mother later called it “maternal instinct”, though I’m fairly sure that term only applies to mothers. Nevertheless, that feeling was what led me to the clearing in which the squalling creature lay. For a moment, I’ll admit, I was stupefied. Why would a mortal so helpless be so far out here? I thought to myself. And where are its caretakers? Surely it didn’t transport its self all the way up here from the human village. It took a particularly loud hiccupping cry from the child to snap me out of my frozen state, and I found my legs working of their own accord to move the rest of me closer to the small lump of cloth and reddened, tear-stained cheeks. It stared back up at me when I leaned over it, its next wail caught in its throat momentarily at the sight of me. I worry for a moment that I might be scaring it, before my chest tightens in a strange emotion when it whimpers pitifully and reaches out to me. Its chubby little fingers make grabbing motions, and the muscles in my arms flex with the temptation to pick it up. A searching glance around confirmed that no other humans were around, which meant it would be up to me to guide this infant to whatever fate had been written for it.

Perhaps that was too prideful of me? After all, had I thought a bit more thoroughly, I may have reminded myself of my considerable lack of child-rearing experience. This is addition to the predicament of surface dwellers being unable to survive in the Underworld, and me being unable to live on the surface for more than an hour or so.

Alas, thanks to my haste in accepting the self-ascribed responsibility, I gave only just enough thought to this fact to move the child to a small hollow near the doors to father’s realm. It had belonged to an animal at some point, but now laid barren and slightly unkempt. I had just enough time to check it the unpleasant eight-legged surface creatures I’ve heard tell of being poisonous, and to stash my new ward away safely from the elements, before the Styx took me back home. It was only upon emerging from the Pool that it struck me the weight of my decision. A baby. A human baby. One that would have simply died had I not intervened. One that now requires me to fight my way back up to ensure it’s survival. One that will need food and shelter and attention. One that… Now belongs to me.

 “Blood and darkness!” Stygius slips slightly from my grip as it catches inside the Wretched Lout I just impaled. I readjust my hold and heave it out of the sickly yellow flesh, waving it slightly to flick some of the congealing black blood from it. I have no time to stop this run. I’ve boxed myself into such a situation I barely had time to check in with everybody before leaving. I neglected to share my secret just yet, both for a loss as to how exactly to do so, as well as the worry that they would try to talk me out of it. Forgetting this whole thing seems the logical thing to do, and part of me wishes I would. And yet there is another part, small but overwhelming, that screams You must hurry. You must return to it. You must protect it! And it would seem to be the part that’s winning.

The sound of a Boon echoes through the small chamber, though when I look to it, it’s one I’ve never seen before. A deeper blue than from Poseidon, with some kind of feather symbol. When I reach out to it, the sound of a baby’s laughter reverberates through my entire body it seems. “In the name of Hades, uhh… Hello?” The glowing orb expands and bursts in a cloud of feathers to reveal the visage of a beautiful woman. She dons the same colour of chiton as her blessing, with rich green and gold patterning. Her green eyes remind me of mother and Demeter. Mother… “Lady Hera. It’s… An honour.” The stoic looking woman extends her hand without speaking, three blue feathers appearing in front of me. These are different from the regular gifts I receive. It weighs on my mind that my decision will factor heavily into my care for the infant. Hera is the Goddess of childbirth and motherhood, now may be my opportunity to get the best advice possible. It does occur to me that she doesn’t seem the most talkative. But I don’t have much choice, I need to get the most out of this encounter, considering how out of my element caring for another being is. “Lady Hera, I apologise for my boldness, but I must beseech your assistance in the matter of- “

“I sense your predicament, young Prince. I ask you not request more of me than I volunteer, though I can say I am here to help. For now, choose a gift to help you with your ward, and be on your way.” Seems that would be our conversation over. I straighten my stance and properly look over the feathers, now adorned with golden etching in the shape of familiar yet foreign words. “Mother’s Intuition” “Fruits of Labor” “Calming Touch” All seem useful, but if Hera is truly planning to stick around to help me, I suppose my decision now doesn’t hold as much weight as my initial assumption. “Calming Touch” seems it would be the most useful to me as of now. As my fingers brush the barbs of the feather, the “eye” blinks at me, and the other two disappear in small clouds of bubbles. More childlike laughter sounds from them as they pop, and that feeling is back in my chest as I clutch the feather to my chest. The illusion of Hera nods her approval before it too dissipates in a bright flash that has me blinking away the spots in my vision as I stumble toward the next door. I fasten the feather to my tunic and continue on.

 Tartarus passes in a whirlwind, my haste extending to Stygius, as if the infernal blade can sense the situation. Soon the river Phlegethon bubbles and hisses around me, the sulfur stinging my eyes. I leap over a steaming break in the land and carry the momentum through another Slamdancer. More Bloodless spawn behind me and I can only muster a sigh in response. Seems this repetition is starting to wear on my mind. Or perhaps it’s my impatience. Whatever it is, it continues to plague my mind with chilling images of the little creature I have stashed away, the hovel barely big enough to fit it. The idea of what might happen should I delay spurs me forward, not even paying attention to the Boon I accept. The orange-y glow makes me think Hermes, until a deep, rough voice booms above me. Acting on impulse I flinch back and bring Stygius in front of me. The man peering down at me with one eye under his brow scoffs and folds his arms across his chest. Feeling only a little silly, I clear my throat and lower the blade. “Apologies, Lord. I’m distracted by the heat of this place; I meant no offense.” This seems enough for the God and the jaded look to his eyes falls away to leave a particular type of exhaustion. He nods in understanding and lifts a large hand towards me. I notice something clenched in his scarred grip, and when his fingers uncurl to reveal parchment not unlike the House Contractor’s, with similar projects marked on it, a realization dawns on me. I take the paper, my eyes drawn to the blueprint labelled “Sturdy Cottage”. It seems my fears for the infant’s safety are unnecessary, seeing as I happen to have the four diamonds needed to purchase the construct. “I think this will be of much use, Lord Hephaestus. I greatly appreciate your generous assistance.” The God seems mildly taken aback by my thanks but retrieves the ledger and diamonds with a nod at my decision. Sparks fly as Hephaestus leaves, hopefully straight for the surface to begin building the cottage. It feels as if a deep shadow has been cleared from my mind, and my thoughts of the mortal are considerably lighter than before.

 Elysium provides, as always, the most resistance to my journey up. The Exalted are ferocious in their desperation for battle, charging at me with no hesitation upon spawning. I’ve already taken several hits from those blasted Flamewheels by the time I reach the next chamber with something new. At first, I fretfully believe it to be a Trial of the Gods, but upon a closer look, it seems to be a joint blessing of some kind. I recognize the wheat symbol for a Boon of Demeter, but it overlaps a peacock feather. Are the Goddesses aware of this? I hesitantly accept, and the orb expands as any other. In an icy flash filled with children’s laughter, the likenesses two Goddesses stand before me. Demeter smiles down at me, and I might be tempted to call it warm. Whereas Hera stands tall and proud as she did on our first meeting. “Zagreus, I believe you’ve already met my sister. She’s come to me with an interesting proposition; one I believe you should be made privy to.” Demeter summons a true stalk of wheat, golden and shining, and allows me to take it. I twist the stalk between my fingers, watching the little barbs blur together as they spin. “Bury this where you wish. The snow and ice will melt from that place, and your child will be safe from the elements. I know not why you would waste pity on such a creature, but perhaps it will be of future use to you. Good luck, grandson.” I hold the wheat tightly to me as they leave, my heart pounding at the idea of bending the very rules Demeter herself has put in place for this one mortal infant. A very small part of my mind wonders if this is even worth it, but like all my doubts, it gets swept away at the prospect of knowing this creature will be safe. I pin the wheat next to the feather and wonder what my next gift may be as the door clunks shut behind me.

 I’ve almost made it. Just need to get past father and I can get to work. He’s not making it easy, though he never does, and it’s especially frustrating this time. I almost lose my footing on the snow as I dodge another swing. Father scoffs and begins powering up for his stupid laser move. I thank the stone stump for the umpteenth time as I crouch behind it. On the bright side, father only needs a few more hits before the Styx overwhelms him. “You seem especially antsy this attempt, boy. What mischief are you plotting? What could possibly be so important up here?”

“Far be it for me to allow you to ruin my fun, father.” I smirk as Stygius makes contact and slices a deep black gash under the Underworld Lord’s second rib. Father grunts and smacks me away with the blunt end of his spear. The throb is dull and adds no more stress to my body. This may be one of our best fights, on my end anyway. “Come now father, surely you have more important paperwork than this?” I pause to charge up another Bloodstone, distantly registering the hiss of the disturbed snow under my feet. “Watch that tongue of yours, boy. You’ll still have to deal with the consequences when you inevitably return to my House!” My cast lands a hit square on his chest as he finishes his threat, and he falls to his knee. “Until then, father.” I’m not sure if he heard me over the rush of the Styx, but my hope that he did is tinged in bitterness. Turning away, I hurry to collect my Bloodstones and cross the threshold into Greece.

 The mountain seems to be caught in a storm of some kind. The cruel winds howl and whistle past my ears, the sheets of snow all but completely ELEPHANT my vision. I hurry along the treeline, thankful the entrance hollow is facing the direction the wind is blowing. I wonder if Demeter chose this direction intentionally, or if she may have been attempting to wipe out the infant before I had the chance to truly commit to my task. I decide she isn’t that heartless, not now anyway, and kneel beside the hollow. The crying of the infant is still going strong, so I at least can be sure it’s alive. I adjust my tunic so that I can tuck the child close to my body and reach to scoop it up. As I hold it close, my eye catches on the glint of silver around its neck. A chain, specifically one of a necklace. The charm is familiar, but I can’t quite place its origin. A sphere overlapped at each side by two crescent moon shapes. Whatever it is, I’m fairly sure it has something to do with father. Why else would the infant be left so close to his realm? The mortal whimpers quietly, curling in on itself. I need to get it out of this storm. My fingers wrap around the wheat as I stand. Surely Hephaestus would have built the cottage close by, for his own convenience at the very least. I decide to move back closer to the doors, so I can at least avoid the worst of the storm. I must hurry if I’m to find the cottage before my time is up.

The trees seem to fall away off to the right, as the land dips toward a river that’s frozen over. Perhaps I can at least clear this spot for now with Demeter’s gift. The banks flatten out before rising high at the sides, shielding the small valley from the wind. If I look closely, I can see the water rushing underneath the ice layer. I’m just starting to reach for the wheat when I notice a dark shape looming from the opposite side of the river. The cottage! Well, less of a cottage and more of a large house. Praising Hephaestus, I stumble over the frozen river, eyeing the places where the ice sizzles. The hill proves easy to scale, even with the protesting infant at my breast, and the door to the building gives easily to my push, the wind whooshing through the doorway to paint the inner floor white. It’s considerably harder to fight the wind to get the door closed again, but once it is, I’m free to sit against it and bask in the slightly warmer temperature. Even my infantile ward seems more pleased with the new surroundings, though it still hiccups and whines unhappily at me. “Come now, surely a little gratitude’s been earned here?” The mortal cries in response and I can’t help the exasperated laugh that escapes me. Suppose it’s entitled to its opinion, considering the state it’s in. It spurs me to stand again, scanning the room for a place to rest the mortal until I get back. Hephaestus did quite the good job with the construct. Sturdy walls, a strong roof, and windows sealed shut with thick glass to keep out the chill. The room we’re in now is spacious, with an open doorway leading to what reminds me of the House kitchens, and an arched entrance with a step up to a section that might be a lounge? I can see other closed doors that I’ll have to explore later, but for now I move into the kitchen and readjust the infant’s swaddle so that it can lay comfortably. It watches me in what I think is curiosity, though it’s kind of hard to tell with the tears in its eyes. I need to figure out what it needs next. Food? Let’s go with food. What do humans eat? What do human babies eat? Perhaps Hera will have answers. The pull of the Styx is stronger now, and I know I don’t have much longer. I shouldn’t let it see this. I lean over the cocoon of snot and tears and cheeks. The cries quieten as two big brown eyes stare mournfully up at me. “Abahaa!” It babbles and tries to reach for me. I meet its little hand in-between us with a finger. It’s fingers barely wrap around mine. It’s an overwhelming feeling; how small this creature is. Small and helpless and fragile and mine. I carefully remove the infant’s hand and tuck it back in its wrappings so I can leave. I’m able to securely close the door behind me and take but a few steps forward before the Styx arrives. Crawling out of the river is getting easier with my new motivation.

“Don’t worry, little thing. I’ll be back soon.”

[har-rison-s]

your song

request: hi! i love your blog? if it’s okay would you be able to do an older!stan x reader where he proposes to her and it’s just really fluffy and he’s really awkward and shy about it? thank u

A/N: I'm not really one for clichés, but I decided to go cliché on this one. So, get your tissues ready, I think this one will tear y'all up. I also predict that this will be shorter than usual, so sorry if you wanted it longer! I'm thinking this could be a part of a series... Combined with other requests.... Hmm.... Happy reading!

IT masterlist

heaven masterlist

main masterlist

P.S. We need more gifs of Andy smiling cause I need smiling adult!Stanley!!!

Much to Stanley's dismay, the restaurant is full. The priciest restaurant in town is filled with the fanciest people in town. Yeah, there's the fashion designer, next to her is a table filled with business men. A few tables over, there's even the mayor sitting with his family and friends. Oh, and that singer, what's-his-face. 

God, he thinks as he sighs, I've chosen the most horrible place. Everyone will see and everyone will applaud and cheer and all the attention will be on him and Y/N. Oh, he should've just chosen their favorite spot instead of trying too hard and taking this one.

But all his regrets float to the back of his mind once he sees her coming towards him from the restaurant's bathroom. She's breathtaking. She's put on her favorite dress—and he's glad she did, it's the perfect occasion for your favorite dress.

It's a mesmerizing fifties-style white dress, stops just below her knees. And everything about it is perfect. Stanley was sure of all the following statements with the first time he saw her in the dress, but Y/N thinks it goes perfectly with her hair and her body and just everything. She said that nothing she's ever wore has made her feel like that before.

She's a very shy person, and there are many eyes in the restaurant that look at her as she walks. She bends her head down lower and it makes her hair fall in front of her face, a perfect way to hide her blush. She feels all the eyes on her and it's not the most comfortable of feelings.

“God, I just felt like a girl on the red carpet there.” Y/N admits once she's sat down. “And not in a good way.” She adds, and looks at Stanley. He's been looking at her since she walked out of the bathroom and, to be quite honest, heard what she said very faintly. Now that she's looking at him, he tries to recall what she said.

“Yeah, I'm sorry there's so many people here.” He says, growing nervous again. “I could never expect it. And this isn't supposed to be a busy night.” He states a fact, but she shakes her head at his worrying.

“It wasn't in your hands.” She simply says. She's very flattered that her boyfriend's taken her to the best and most expensive restaurant in town. She hopes he doesn't lose all his money for this one night. But her mind is also travelling elsewhere. Like, why here? Her mind has already made a few options, but she tries not to think of them to avoid ruining her own lovely night and feeling.

Y/N tries to order the cheapest things here, which she's sure cost as much as a TV or a fridge. Stanley honestly didn't care what he ordered, he was way too nervous to think about food. So he ordered what he knew best, afraid to try something new on a night like this.

They ate, talked as they always do, about little mundane things. Stanley ordered them each a glass of shampagne. “The best you have.” He'd whispered to the waiter. He immediately understood what kind of occasion this was and nodded with a kind smile, leaving after to fetch the beverage.

Y/N had given him a look that told him he didn't really need to over-do things, but he shrugged. He was already nervous enough and feeling her anxiety raised his to the top. God, what if everything goes wrong?

He decided he'd do it at dessert. Or after they've both finished their dessert. “A red velvet for us both, please.” Y/N had asked ever so nicely, looking at the waiter and he'd gone right off to get the couple their dessert. He knew what was about to go down.

“So, baby, what's the occasion?” Y/N asks Stanley. Their tummies are full after finishing the red velvet cheesecake, each a piece, and she slinks lazily into her chair. She's smiling with mischief at Stanley. “A promotion at work? We're getting a new house?”

Stanley chuckles out of pure nervousness and shakes his head. “I don't really know what to start with.” He admits. Y/N sees him biting the inside of his lip, clearly stressing over something, over what he wants to say to her. “First of all, I wish there wouldn't be so many people here. And secondly...” Stanley trails off. 

He clears his throat and it picks Y/N's interest even more, so she leans on the table, her head in her hands, and listens closely. Stanley starts to sing. She didn't even he was a person who sings.

“It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside,” he starts, and she recognises it's Your Song by Elton John. Their song. Her most favorite of all time, “I'm not one of those who can easily hide.” He sings and the words are true. As much as he's a secretive person, Stanley can't hide his most powerful and intense emotions and feelings. She listens more.

“Don't have much money, but boy, if I did,” he sings, and that's also half-true. Y/N knows Stanley has always wished to have more money than he does. But his income isn't the worst one, “I'd buy a big house where we both could live.” He concludes. Wait, what? Are we getting a new house? Is that what he means?

“And you can tell everybody,” Stanley continues, his voice growing a bit louder. He skipped the other half of the verse. Why so? “that this is your song. It may be quite simple, but, now that it's done.” Stanley withdraws from the table, takes his eyes off Y/N's and struggles to get something out of his jacket pocket. Oh my God, what is actually happening?! 

Stanley shakily gets out of his chair and Y/N watches him with worried, but excited eyes. He walks closer to her side, heads are already turning, and when he reaches the woman herself, he bends a knee and places his clutched-together hands in her lap. Her eyes are so wide she's afraid they'll pop right out of her skull.

His hands open and he reveals a box, an open box. And... A RING?!

“I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind,” he continues singing still, “that I put down in a ring,” he changes the lyrics and that's when her tears appear, “how wonderful life is while you're in the world. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind,” he repeats the lyrics, “that I put down in a ring, how much I wanna be with you,” he gulps, “for the rest of our lives.” Stanley finishes singing.

His face is completely taken over by hope and joy, his eyes full of tears, just like his girlfriend's and he's smiling. He's smiling so wide he feels like his lips will split in the corners. 

“I don't mind.” Y/N says, shaking her head and gripping Stanley's wrists between her fingers. “I don't mind at all.” She says and breathes a big breath out, tears welling down her cheeks in small rivers. Stanley laughs upon hearing her answer. He quickly takes the ring out of the red velvet box and slides it onto her shaking left hand.

A wedding. A wedding to the love of his life. What more could he want? There's nothing more that could make him a happier person. 

Unbeknownst to the embraced, happy and love-filled couple, the most part of the restaurant has been watching them. Stanley kisses his fiancée on the lips with so much love and joy on his lips that she can feel it bouncing onto her sweet lip pillows. Everyone around them cheers, claps and woos them, as well. 

Stanley and Y/N look at the people around them and both blush, being extreme introverts and shy of any kind of attention. But Y/N holds onto Stanley, her hands on his cheeks and they look at each other, foreheads and noses and lips bumping together now and then. She's crying so hard from joy. 

“I'm marrying you, Y/N Y/L/N.” Stanley tells her, which only makes her cry harder. Her eyelids shut tight, tears squeezing past them. 

“And—And I'm marrying you, Stanley Uris.” She tells him back, through hiccups and sobs, and they both smile. They share in each other's joy, leaving you to think whose happiness is bigger and brighter. They're both equally as such. 

Leaving the restaurant afterwards, the newly-engaged couple recieved standing ovations from the other customers, congratulations from many of them and from the restaurant's staff. The head waiter also gifted them with a bottle of the champagne they drank earlier, wrapped with a white and blue bow. 

Stanley and Y/N decided to walk home, since it wasn't cold and their apartment wasn't that far from the pricy restaurant. They danced with each other and sang in the streets, letting happiness take over their bodies and actions. Their favorite songs could be heard in the downtown of the city, sung by themselves. Stanley and Y/N soon-to-be-Uris could not ever be happier.

Permanent taglist:  @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131

Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g​​ @sadhwstudent​ @shawni-h​ @gothackedalready​

A/N: My God. These bitches fucking engaged. Good for them. Good for fucking them. (I couldn't help myself)

Let me know if you want to be in any of these tag-lists!

[tev-the-random]

A casual Sonic Forces rewrite + some headcanons, because why not

Part 1 – Infinite and Episode Shadow

Just a warning: none of the images used here belong to me! They all belong to SEGA – the game screenshots, the official art and the comic pages.

Next Part ->

I have yet to see the Sonic Movie, because the universe seems devoted on not letting me do so, for some reason. Being as desperate for Sonic content but as determined to not receive spoilers from the movie as I am, I decided to go for the next coolest thing: writing really long and random posts about a game that came out three years ago and no one cares about anymore.

This shall be fun!

(Update: as of posting this, I have finally watched the movie! But I don’t want to throw this away, so I’ll post it anyway. We can have a nice talk about the movie later.)

*“Fist Bump instrumental” intro plays*

*“This is Our World: a New Hero” plays in the background*

I’m the type of person to always try and see the best in every game, and Sonic Forces is no different. Despite its obvious flaws, I love this beautiful game! Mostly the concept of it is one of the coolest things I’ve seen this last decade, but the execution… lacks on a few things. I mostly just fill in the gaps with my imagination and enjoy it nevertheless, but, upon going through the tag and seeing that some of my concerns were shared by other people, I decided to try my hand at rewriting Sonic Forces juuust a tiny bit. Just for fun!

For this first part (and I have no idea how many parts we should have), I’d like to share some of my ideas about…

*Infinite’s Theme plays in the background as I try hard not to sing along*

Oh, my poor jackal boy, what do we do with you? Despite being so heavily promoted and having an undeniably awesome theme song, Infinite’s backstory and general development throughout the game came out as lacking, having the self-proclaimed edgelord become a laughingstock amongst most fans. Nevertheless, I still love Infinite, and it saddens me how much wasted potential he had; it’s like they were trying to write a really interesting character, but gave up halfway through.

So yeah, let’s talk about it. And let us begin with his origin story.

I believe you are all familiar with this scene:

I… I want to defend my boy here, I really do. But honestly, the way this was portrayed, it just sounded like he was throwing a childish tantrum. It seems as if his entire motive for becoming a villain was “Shadow beat him and called him weak”; dude, you’re not the only one: Shadow does this to basically everybody who’s ever crossed his way! We’re not given a reason as to why Infinite gets so bloody offended, nor are we given a reason why we should care.

So, how can we fix this? I think we should firstly focus less on “I’M NOT WEEEEAAAAK!!! URRAAAAGHH!!!” and more on:

It doesn’t need to be – and I don’t even think it can be – as sad of a situation as the Rivaille Squad in Shingeki No Kyojin or anything, but I believe that showing us that Infinite lost something important would already do wonders to his backstory.

The simplest way – that is, the way that doesn’t majorly change how things go, but does give the jackal a clearer motive – to do this would involve the ever so humble inclusion of two new cutscenes and one new in-game battle, plus a few tweaks to some already existing scenes.

Episode Shadow begins not with the usual reading introduction, but rather, with Shadow’s voice. “I was a couple of months before the Doctor took over the world. The first time I encountered him… I didn’t know what he would become.” Then we open with what used to be a couple of months prior (aka where they presented Infinite’s memory, aka where they screwed up), so we’ll go through things in a chronological order instead of having a flashback inside of a prequel, because that’s confusing AF.

Now, instead of starting the Mystic Jungle level immediately, we should get a small cutscene: Shadow gliding through the jungle, cool camera angles/lighting and all – maybe something similar to the opening scene of Episode Shadow in Sonic 06? –, on his way to invade Eggman’s base as a voice coming from the hedgehog’s communicator reminds him about his mission (yep, that’s some subtle exposition to the audience so we don’t think Shadow is there just because). My idea for said mission would be the simple task of retrieving a Chaos Emerald (yeah, remember those?) from Eggman. Nothing too serious; just another day, another emerald stolen like usual; we’ve seen this before, there’s no need for a long dialogue.

As the black-and-red blur crosses the screen, the camera pans to a group of people hiding above in the trees: Squad Jackal. Infinite is not among them. One of the jackals asks “where’ the boss?” to which another one replies that he’s on the other side of the base/talking to the Doctor/whatever and they have no time to waste; their mission is to take down the intruder and protect the base. We get something in the lines of “the boss is counting on us. Expect no mercy, show no weakness. Let’s go!” and the camera fades out as the squad drops from the trees and runs after Shadow.

I believe that having the phrase “show no weakness” – or any possible reference to “I’m not weak”, really – appear earlier as seemingly common and then have it become something the character gives a lot of importance to due to consequences and parallels sounds a bit more interesting than having Infinite’s inferiority complex come out of nowhere.

The Mystic Jungle level plays as usual, except the dialogue in the background doesn’t say that “the Defence Squad has already been completely annihilated”, but rather that “the Defence Squad is on the case. They’re the best mercenaries there are, Shadow won’t stand a chance!” because Doctor Eggman is naive like that.

Once we reach the end of the level there’s another change: a boss battle against Squad Jackal. You see, we don’t want to hear the squad was taken down like some sort of lazy exposition, because it feels incomplete; we want to participate, we want to be the protagonist and see with our own eyes just what is Infinite’s squad. This gives faces and voices to something that will become an important plot point instead of just telling us “yeah, this happened or whatever”. This could also play as some sort of sympathy point for Infinite, because we, while in control of Shadow, took down his squad; it makes the villain’s animosity towards Shadow and his general anger at least a bit more understandable.

The idea is that this battle should play as some sort of field fight – that is, differently than most boss battles in Sonic Forces, this is not a racing track where you attack your enemy while running, but rather a large secluded area, much like the one we get in the fight between the Custom Hero and the DeathEgg Robot –, where squad members would attack individually in different patterns before going for a group attack. The individual jackals would have both projectile (perhaps something like a wispon, knives or some Eggman invention to keep it family friendly enough?) and close-ranged attacks, while the group attack would consist of this mass of wild jackals changing at you, trying to run you over. The opportunity windows could be either the moment when the opponents switch or band together for the group attack.

(I don’t know, maybe some of you can think of better ways to fight the Jackal Squad? This is just a random idea! I’d like to hear different ones!)

Once the fight is over, we get another cutscene: Shadow stands among the fallen jackals – don’t worry, they’re… sleeping… yeah, there’s no visible blood, they’re not dead… except they’re totally dead – and looks around for a second or two. His expression is indecipherable, and he soon leaves without saying a word – one might say he feels bad for them, or maybe he doesn’t give a damn; we leave that open to interpretation. Not a moment passes and we get to see the leader of the squad arriving at the scene. The camera moves in a circle around him as he looks at his fallen comrades in shock. How did this happen? They were the strongest, how could his whole squad be dead? This is a rather touching moment, where Infinite sticks his sword (because in his origins comic he used to have a super cool red sword and I want to pretend we have a reason for it not existing in the game) to the ground; there’s a feeling of anger and vengeance going on as we get a closer look at the last standing jackal. He clenches his fists and faces the direction of Shadow. “Expect no mercy, show no weakness,” he says in an infuriated, strangled voice. He starts to run and the camera fades out.

(Look at his sword and his squad, man. I do wish we could have seen them in the game…)

When the camera fades in again, we get that exact same cutscene from the game. Blah blah, “destroyed my squad”, blah blah, “ultimate mercenary”, a legendary ass whooping and Infinite falls to the ground, weak, pathetic and defeated.

Now, I’d like to add just a few lines to their dialogue, because this:

Doesn’t really sound like Shadow to me. I mean, man: you beat this random guy to the ground, called him worthless and pathetic out of nowhere and then you just leave? I know Shadow is rather apathetic and he’s supposed to be savage and all, but this just felt kind of out of place…

So instead of going full rude mode, what Shadow actually says is:

‘You’re part of the Defence Squad, aren’t you? Why would a bunch of mercenaries work for the Doctor? What is he hiding?’

‘The doctor paid well enough to not have his secrets spilled,’ Infinite retorts while trying to get up. He’s too hurt to do much, but he’s still willing to fight. He looks at Shadow with fiery eyes as he continues, ‘My squad… you took them down like they were nothing… why wouldn’t someone as strong as you be a mercenary?’

‘Mercenary work is for the weak,’ the hedgehog states matter-of-factly. ‘I’ve sworn to protect, not to follow the dirty line of work you did.’

This blows Infinite’s mind and he simply stares at Shadow, dumbfounded. He murmurs, ‘weak? How dare you, I’m not… We’re not weak! We’re the squad o-’

‘Where’s the Chaos Emerald?’ The jackal’s statement is completely ignored. However, Infinite is having none of this, so tries to attack Shadow once again in a fit of rage, only for the hedgehog to give him a signature roundhouse kick free of charge.

(Image merely illustrative)

‘What a waste of my time,’ Edgelord Number 1 says, aware that he’s not getting any useful information from this. He steps closer and Edgelord Number 2 flinches, ‘here’s some advice: don’t show your face around me ever again, or else I will finish you.’

And with that, Shadow teleports away, leaving Infinite to his existential crisis. He wasn’t able to avenge his friends; he wasn’t able to protect the base; heck, he wasn’t even able to hold his title of ultimate mercenary! How useless of a leader was he? Were mercenaries truly weak? Everything they’ve done… was it all worthless? Show no weakness… what did it even mean? They were all defeated, and Infinite can’t shake the feeling that he’s to blame for it. Wasn’t he supposed to be the best?

‘What is this? I’m…’ He looks at his hands, which are trembling ‘I’m shaking? I flinched? I... We failed… How pathetic… All because…’

Infinite stops as if he’s just gotten a moment of clarity. He then gets up and starts walking inside Eggman’s base. ‘I’m not weak,’ he says in a decided, chilling whisper; it’s almost scary. The view is set at the entrance, right in front of the jackal so that he starts blocking the light from the outside as he slowly walks towards the camera - while saying in that scary voice, “No mercy, no weakness”.

(I can totally see Liam O’Brien delivering this line perfectly…)

Then the last expository narrating happens about the same, except that Shadow narrates it – giving continuity to the fact that he was the one who started narrating this episode for a reason I will talk about later –, so we change a few words to match his speech more; it’s all in the third person and very husky and brooding, but with a subtle note of dread (oh, if only Jason Griffith would voice it… No disrespect to Kirk Thornton, but he just doesn’t hit Shadow’s perfect voice like Jason did; for me, at least. His Orbot voice is fantastic, though).

Now, instead of having Infinite looking forward for a few seconds before he gets the Phantom Ruby out of nowhere and places it in his chest very anti-climatically, we’ll do something different: as soon as he puts on the mask, he starts walking away, and we change settings to a dimly lit room, where we see Infinite from behind, fitting the frame perfectly. Following the beat of the background music, the camera changes to a close shot of his masked face as he’s holding the Phantom Ruby, which is glowing, reflecting on his mask and giving us a beautifully red-lit scene; it’s possible to hear very low, indiscernible whispers coming from the jewel. We then hear a small, evil chuckle from the masked jackal – he already sounds rather different from the guy who stuck his sword to the ground in honour of his friends earlier. The screen goes black, the whole “I was… Reborn!” thing dramatically happens in Infinite’s echoing voice and the not-flashback is over.

(I know this last part was quite specific and oddly detailed, but I had the scenes very clear in my head I wanted to try conveying how intimidating it looked to me o3o)

Ok, now that that’s done, prepare yourselves for an intermission. And by that, I mean prepare yourselves for a long analytical commentary on what I just wrote.

*”This is Our World: Phase 2″ plays in the background*

(Who is Shadow working for again? I don’t even know, man…)

Shadow isn’t just the guy who called Infinite pathetic. He’s the guy who killed Infinite’s squad (his friends) without any apparent remorse – and to be hypocrite as to say he’d sworn to protect when he just did something like this (yeah, Infinite doesn’t know any context of Shadow’s life, so of course he doesn’t understand what he meant); the guy who ruined everything he had going with his new job as leader of the Defence Squad; the guy who put him several levels under what he thought he was; the guy who questioned his entire way of living and the guy who put him under a lingering threat; “don’t show your face around me ever again” feels more intimidating now. Not only that, but, despite how Infinite might hate Shadow, he recognizes him as strong, admirable even – “why wouldn’t someone as strong as you be a mercenary?” Remember that Infinite himself is a mercenary; to actually acknowledge someone would be good at something you’re good at, specially someone you don’t like, has to be a sign of admiration, albeit a frustrating one. All of this puts a lot more of weight on how Infinite thinks of Shadow and why being stronger than the hedgehog is so important to him.

I made it so that “expect no mercy, show no weakness” is something like the Jackal Squad’s motto, their philosophy. I like to think it means that they should never count on someone’s mercy, for their enemies won’t spare them; they should always go into battle aware that they might actually be fighting for their lives. At the same time, they should always stand their ground and never let anyone think they can take advantage of a squad member. This is what the jackals live for. But seeing as Infinite’s world has just been shattered and he failed hard on everything, he revises his mentality. “No mercy, no weakness” is what he’s going for now, as he wants to be above everyone, he wants to effectively be the strongest and for people to know that; he will be the one who doesn’t spare others, and he won’t be weak at all. Never again would a failure cost him that much, for never again would he fail.

To have Infinite place the Phantom Ruby on his own chest in Episode Shadow contradicts the opening scene of the main campaign. Remember the episode is a prequel to Sonic Forces’ main game, so it shouldn’t be completely detached from it; things must make sense when put together. As the main game begins by showing us Infinite inside of a tube in Eggman’s lab, we can assume one of two things: he’s either a robot/biological experiment created entirely by the scientist, or he’s a guy who’s been experimented on, thus Eggman was the one who placed the Phantom Ruby on him. With this in mind, it wouldn’t make sense to show us Infinite doing something if you’re going to tell us that he couldn’t have possibly done it on his own. But to have him hold the ruby as someone who deeply desires its powers and who listens to its ominous whispering? Not only does it line better with the aforementioned scene, but it also makes Infinite seem more prone to the ruby’s power (instead of just… you know, “random angry dude”).

As this intermission has gone on long enough, I’ll only make a brief commentary on the Phantom Ruby: I like the idea of the ruby being somewhat alive and exerting influence over Infinite. Now, I won’t say it’s the kind of influence where it justifies his horrible behaviour or the awful things he did. It’s less “mind-control” and more “that best friend who always encourages you and never calls you out on your bullshit”. Its grooming Infinite’s ego and just nudging him to keep making bad decisions, to keep shutting himself in this new reality where he’s all powerful and above everyone else. So it’s the jackal’s pride, spite and grief, along with Eggman’s overall encouragement and the Phantom Ruby’s influence all put together that, in a general sense, make Infinite what he is. (I can go into more detail about this idea once I make a Part 2.)

Mission Accomplished: “angry bitchy boy turned edgy, OP and unimpressed” changed his status to “tragic boy turned edgy, bitter and extremely power-hungry”.

Intermission’s over, let’s get back to the story!

With Infinite’s backstory slightly redone (or rather, shown under a different light), I could stop right here. But I don’t want to, oh no! I say we take this a few steps further and just finish Episode Shadow! Yeah, I told you this was going to be a long post.

*”Battle with Infinite: Second Bout” plays in the background*

Ok, now we cut to a few months later, where Episode Shadow would originally begin. Rouge comments that Omega was on recon mission in that “unknown base of operations that seems to be totally outside the chain of command for Eggman’s army” (whatever that is supposed to mean) when he spotted an unidentified masked person with strange energy readings and an unknown battle ID. Omega reported a “large scale troop” and… that’s it, he just stopped talking. Rouge then talks about that “new weapon” Eggman was supposedly developing and sends Shadow to the base to investigate along with Omega. She makes a remark about how they should get the entire Team Dark together for this (“It should be fun”), but Shadow dismisses the idea, saying that he’s enough on his own. “Omega said the same thing. You two go together like chilli and hot dogs.”

We can keep this at the whole “dialogue on screen” thing. I don’t really mind and it sure spares the budget.

The City stage plays as usual, except the dialogue in the background changes a bit, because Team Dark bickering (or just talking in general, I love this team so much) is my jam.

‘E-123 Omega here. Extermination proceeding without incident. No problems to report.’

‘Omega!’ Rouge exclaims, ‘Why have you stopped responding earlier? We- wait, extermination? This is supposed to be a recon mission, what are you doing?!’

‘I was spotted. Priorities conflicted; therefore I decided to eliminate the enemy altogether. New Mission Objective: Defeat Eggman.’

‘But you can’t go making a scene like that!’

‘See, this is what happens when you send the giant killer robot for this kind of op,’ Shadow sasses. And I’ll imagine Jason’s voice for this too, thank you.

‘I have several reports of recon missions where you retaliated, Shadow.’

‘I might have to join you boys soon enough. I turn my back for five seconds and this happens…’ Rouge comments in a tired voice.

Omega is ready to start robotically recounting the reports of failed recon missions where Shadow retaliated, but he is suddenly cut by static and the vague sound of the Phantom Ruby. Rouge tries to contact him again and we get small bits of his original lines here – “All sensors offline”, “Casualty report”, “Unidentified system intrusion. Emergency withdrawal!” and “I am E-123 Omega, the most powerf-sjfpstswq”, that stuff – before his communication is completely cut. Shadow asks something like “what’s going on?”, but his communication with Rouge is cut as well. We play whatever’s left of the level in silence (except for the sweet background music).

(Oh yeah, this happened or whatever…)

Now, I know the next scene is a screen dialogue again, and I know I just said I don’t mind it, but watching this:

… Is so bloody uncomfortable. This feels dumb. This is so dumb. I feel like they robbed us an epic scene in exchange of some awkward reading with absolutely no context. What the hell is “!” supposed to mean?! What did Infinite do?! If I wanted to imagine the action scenes all on my own, I’d spend my time daydreaming! What, did they not know what to do here so they just threw in some random lines to fill the gap between this and the next level?!

… Sorry, I got a little carried away. This simple scene frustrates me a lot by not existing. So yeah, we’re throwing in a cutscene.

(I just noticed how salty this post is getting. This was not my intention at all, I still love this game, oh dear…)

Shadow reaches the edge of the city and encounters a dark silhouette hovering just above the flames that cover the ground; there’s debris scattered everywhere. The figure has its back turned, and the world seems to glitch ever so slightly around them.

‘The world’s most powerful robot is no more a challenge than crabmeat. Even the Doctor’s most daring designs can’t compete with my power… It is without peer,’ the figure chuckles to themselves.

Shadow starts approaching silently, analysing the situation. Despite this being Omega’s location, he can’t see the robot.

‘Wonder how easy it would be to end this entire planet. Don’t you…’

Suddenly, the voice speaks close to the hedgehog’s ear:

‘…Shadow?’

He turns around to see that the unknown person has appeared behind him, which throws him off. The hedgehog takes several steps back and puts himself in a fighting stance.

It’s hard to see past the jackal’s mask, but he seems amused as he looks down on Shadow. Twistedly so.

‘How wonderful to see that our not-so-tall, dark and brooding guest has arrived. I’ve been waiting for you, Shadow~’

‘Tell me what you did to Omega. Now,’ the agent demands.

‘Oh, come now, Shadow. Our long-awaited reunion and still you spout such nonsense.’ Infinite floats down to stand a few meters away from his enemy.

‘I don’t know you,’ Shadow states. The masked jackal tilts his head, but doesn’t say anything, so he asks again, ‘what have you done to Omega?’

‘Only what is ought to be done when someone stands in your way. Weaklings like E-123 Omega are of no consequence, don’t you agree?’

‘The only thing of no consequence is that big mouth of yours.’

Shadow launches himself at Infinite, who easily avoids his attack. The jackal starts laughing manically.

‘Ah, I suppose you would think so,’ he states. ‘After all, it’s not so funny to be the one losing the battle, is it? I am Infinite. You say you do not know me, and yet I remember you so very well… I’ve lost all I was, I’ve become what I am because of you. Savour that thought as I return the favour.’

Guess what happens? That’s right, we get another boss battle! I think it’s only fair that Infinite gets to have his rematch with Shadow. Besides, it establishes a comparison with the “old” Infinite and how much stronger he’s now – from Shadow’s perspective, that is.

I have no idea how this battle would play out. Maybe something similar to his second battle in the main story (no, don’t worry: we’ll talk about the exceeding amount of Infinite battles in the next part), with the 2D layout. Let’s say Infinite is surrounded with his Red Cubes of Doom while he’s not attacking, so you can’t touch him. Maybe he makes the fire glitch and get closer to you at some point. Maybe he makes clones and you have to defeat each of them to get to the real guy, I don’t know! Tag your ideas, I’d love to see them! ^^

Anyway, once the battle’s over and Shadow “wins” (because Infinite is not defeated, he’s just done with this fight), the jackal might say something in the lines of “I suppose I’ve let this duel go on for long enough. I have other matters to attend to, Shadow the Hedgehog.”

We get back to the cutscene and Infinite is glitching a bit, quickly recomposing himself, laughing. Shadow is panting.

‘What’s the matter, Shadow? Can’t take down a measly jackal anymore?’ The masked one says sarcastically. ‘It seems like I’ve overestimated your strength. You’re no fit to be a mercenary at all.’

There’s a beat and Shadow realises what this is about. He looks at Infinite, frowning. ‘It’s you… Defence Squad Jackal…’

Infinite stares at the hedgehog. He doesn’t seem to be as amused anymore. His golden eye’s glowing under his mask, and so is the Phantom Ruby on his chest. A tense background music plays as Infinite answers dryly:

‘Yes.’

‘I’ve spared you, but now you’re going too far. It’s time to finish this! Chaos Spear!’

The spears of light simply go through Infinite as if they didn’t exist. Shadow goes for a spin dash/homing attack/kick to the face or whatever you can think of, but the masked villain glitches out of the way with ease and lands an almost perfect copy of Shadow’s roundhouse kick.

The hedgehog glides across the floor, almost falling over. Infinite scoffs.

‘This new “me” has limitless power. I have no mercy; no weakness! I am the true ultimate force that will tear this world apart, and what may have worked to bring me down before…’ the jackal starts floating again; thousands of red cubes start dancing around him and, as he raises a hand, they all group in the sky not far above them. ‘… No longer does.’

(Why yes, this is a reference to Mephiles the Dark and that time he destroyed the Sceptre of Darkness!)

Infinite throws his “Take THIS!” and Shadow does the “!” – which is him frantically trying to get out of the way as the thousands cubes of doom come crashing down on him.

The screen goes black.

Scene ends.

The Virtual Reality level should play as usual from there. I don’t even want to change the background dialogue, because I really like it: it’s confusing, it’s weird, it’s unsettling and it slaps Shadow in the face in a way that we rarely see. I love it! (Although, I do think the gameplay should have a tiny little bit more of 3D parts. We love Green Hill, but we also love the freedom to move on more than two directions when playing as the Ultimate Life Form. But it’s cool)

After that, we could get another cutscene (we’re full of cutscenes, huh? Well, this is a hypothetical rewriting with a hypothetical budget. Also, Episode Shadow is more of an exposition episode anyway). In this cutscene, we would start with some shots of different known locations: Green Hill, Chemical Plant, Crisis City, Mystic Jungle, Kingdom Valley, Babylon Garden, you name it! And all of these places are somewhat “corrupted”; they’re glitching out, full of those red cubes, and there’s just this ominous atmosphere in them, as if they’re abandoned, desolated despite looking roughly the same as ever. We then see a black-and-red blur cross the screen, and a short narration takes place:

“I’ve been here for longer than I can remember. This… alternate reality, this fake world. There seems to be no escape. Rouge and Omega talk to me occasionally…”

We see Shadow leaning against a wall. His communicator plays only white noise, then Rouge’s voice comes in; it’s strangely echoed as it calls out to him. Shadow throws the device far away and sighs.

“… They’re fake too. No matter where I go, no matter how much I run…”

Shadow is skating through Pumpkin Hill or something, when the world suddenly starts to glitch out massively; we hear the Phantom Ruby’s noise and suddenly, we’re on the ARK.

“It’s like this place was made to torture me. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case.”

‘I’ve moved on from this a long time ago,’ Shadow says to the void of the Universe as we hear gunshots in the distance. He’s not being completely truthful. ‘Putting me through this scenario dozens of times changes nothing. Don’t you have anything more creative at this point?’

There’s silence, except for the shouts in the Space Colony. A voice calls out to Shadow, and he promptly ignores it, albeit with a pained look in his eyes. He’s visibly tired, almost hopeless, if one could ever describe Shadow the Hedgehog that way.

He sighs.

‘Alright, how do I get out of this one?”

We then get a start of a short level in the ARK. Don’t worry, it’s not one of those hellish mazes that usually haunt every ARK level there ever was; this is more straight forward, with doors closing all around you so that you know where you shouldn’t go, and some G.U.N. robots trying to kill you, simple thing.

The catch happens when you’re halfway through the level: as you’re crossing a long corridor, the game begins to “crash” – in the sense of you losing control of the character, the visuals beginning to glitch and the soundtrack going weird, all in a way that makes the soul leave the body of the player for a terrifying four seconds of “HOLY SHIT, I BROKE THE GAME”. But nope, you didn’t break the game: the Phantom Ruby is trolling you. We soon find that out as the signature noise plays and the glitching effect on screen disperses to show a new scenario: Mystic Jungle. The real Mystic Jungle. Congratulations: you get to play in a totally different zone for the rest of the level.

‘My head…’ Shadow murmurs to himself. ‘That was too quick; this can’t be right, it- ugh, why is it so bright here? Where are all the red things? This place seems too normal… is it… am I back in the real world?!’

We then finish the level, get our nice score and head to the last scene of the episode.

Shadow is going through the jungle, taking in everything that isn’t an illusion. He passes by a red sword stuck to the ground and leans against a tree, still a little out of it, still struggling to believe that anything is real anymore. The hedgehog then takes his communicator – surprisingly intact; hadn’t he thrown that away? – and tries to make contact. There is static for a moment, when suddenly…

‘Shadow? Oh my- Shadow, is that you?!’

He’s startled for a moment, but so relieved to hear Rouge’s normal voice again.

‘It’s me, Rouge. What’s the situation? Where’s Omega?’

‘Omega? We lost contact with him months ago; the Resistance says he must have been shut down after the Doctor took over!’

Shadow raises both his non-existing eyebrows in surprise, barely holding a gasp. He then frowns.

‘Shut down? Resistance? What do you mean “the Doctor took over”? What the heck happened?’

‘What happened? What happened?! I should be the one asking you that! You’ve been offline for six months! Everyone keeps saying you’re working with Eggman and Infinite, and I couldn’t contact you or Omega, I thought… I thought we’d lost you for good…’

‘Nonsense,’ Shadow states. We start hearing voices in the distance, and the hedgehog starts looking around while still talking ‘I’ll tell you the details later, it’s long story. What’s the current situation?’

‘Shadow…’

The (Tired) Ultimate Life Form spots something from behind the trees. Still in hiding, he looks closer only to see the Custom Hero holding the prototype Phantom Ruby they just found and talking to Tails and… Classic Sonic, much to Shadow’s confusion.

‘… We’re at war.’

Shadow takes a moment to process what’s just been said. He doesn’t even pay attention to what Rouge says next (neither do we, as the background music starts getting louder than the bat’s voice). He still watches the avatar, Tails and Classic Sonic as they leave; he focuses on the Phantom Ruby.

‘Meet me in the City. I’ve got a lot to tell you,’ Shadow says.

And with that, he leaves, the scene fades out and Episode Shadow is over!

*”The Light of Hope: Menu Version” plays in the background*

Now, a few more analytical notes before we close this ridiculously gigantic thing:

The immediate reason why we have Shadow being stuck in the Virtual Reality for six months is to indicate to us why he doesn’t show up earlier in the main game. It’s not like he was being useless this whole time and just decided to show up whenever it was most Ex-Machina of him; much like Sonic, he was trapped by the enemy. A mental trap that put Shadow on survivor mode for months without any way of communicating with anybody; with twisted versions of his friends trying to get to him and remind him that, hey, they’re still out there, probably in high danger; with these illusions mocking him, reminding him of painful memories, isolating him in familiar places… I say: if you want to emotionally hit a character, hit them hard. And this experience is bound to leave Shadow with some emotional scar, alright.

(Ever heard of conveniently coming out of nowhere?)

Shadow is bound to lose his sense of reality and sometimes it should be hard for him to acknowledge that this is the real world. I hope I can showcase some of his reactions in the later parts of this o3o

The Virtual Reality isn’t all glitchy by mistake. No, no: Infinite is perfectly capable of making a “perfect copy” of the real world, but he doesn’t want to. He wants Shadow to know this is a fake world and to know that he’s completely trapped in it while his real friends and allies are out there doing who-knows-what in a world run by the enemy. He wants to throw Shadow off-balance as much as he can, because he’s spiteful and doesn’t just leave the hedgehog to the side without a second glance.

In the game, Infinite says that they didn’t really have time to tune his power yet, so we can tell putting Shadow in the Virtual Reality was more of a practice of sorts. But man, I think this is too much of a cool concept, so I’ll say Infinite did put his power to the test before all of this; because Eggman, sir: you don’t simply throw your super-secret, amazing, unparalleled weapon in the battlefield without testing it first. This is something that can be inferred, it doesn’t need to be directly told, it just- I’m telling you this right now, ok?

I know Shadow is supposedly “over” this conflict with what happened in the ARK and it probably feels over-used to add it in again, but… it’s a thing the games haven’t tackled in such a long time, I feel like this would be a nice call-back. Besides, Infinite would want to know what would bring distress to Shadow; what happened in the ARK isn’t exactly a secret, especially if he’s working with Eggman. And Shadow can be as “over it” as he wants: it’s still a scar that will never truly leave him. Even if he watches it happen dozens of times, it’s still at least a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

ALTHOUGH! I also think this ARK level could be easily replaced with some other random level if you want to argue that Forces happens in Mobius or something, where Gerald and Maria and G.U.N. maybe never existed and whatnot.

What brought Shadow back, you ask? Well, it probably has to do with a certain someone spontaneously activating a Phantom Ruby. Maybe the avatar was thinking of Shadow and how it’d be nice to have him on their side again? Maybe they were thinking of undoing Infinite’s evil deeds? Maybe the raw power of the Phantom Ruby prototype being suddenly activated by the Custom Hero just crashed something another Phantom Ruby user did, like magnetic waves interfering with each other? Who knows?

I also find it important to show the Custom Hero here not only to show that there’s a connection between Shadow’s sudden freedom and their actions, but also to establish the tiniest amount of early familiarity between Shadow and the original character. Then maybe (maybe) I’ll give them a bit more of interaction in the main game, because it’d be nice to have a cool interaction with Shadow; and as endearing as his smile after the avatar does their thing with the sun of destruction is, it feels like it comes out of nowhere, if you think about it…

(I mean... Does he even know who we are?)

Infinite’s sword stuck to the ground goes completely over Shadow’s head, as he has no idea what that is or who it belonged to or what it means. It’s really just there for the viewer to reminisce the beginning of the episode and have a slight existential crisis.

When playing the main campaign, we get some pretty convenient information from Shadow once he finally shows up. Episode Shadow should give us a sense of how he knows those things. Want it or not, he did spend a long time studying the Phantom Ruby’s power far more closely than anybody else – well, maybe Sonic spent almost as much time as Shadow in a similar state, but that’s something to cover in another part.

The fact that Shadow is the one narrating this entire episode is supposed to allude to him telling Rouge exactly what happened during those six months he was gone. But if you want to read it as him talking to himself in the Virtual Reality as he slowly descends into madness, then be my guest!

I don’t know if it’s noticeable, but I’ve tried to tune Infinite’s cheesiness down a bit. I don’t think I can rid him of it entirely – after all, he is somewhat of a pompous, edgy, over-the-top character in general; he’s a full-on drama queen 24/7 and the only character cheesier than him is Sonic. Now, what we do with Infinite is to at least give a base to what he says. Also, I wanted him to sound a bit more like he lets the power get to his head. Oh well, I surely hope we’ll be tackling more of Infinite in the future!

Episode Shadow is extremely short, even for a DLC. I mean, it’s about only 20 minutes long – even less, if you’re good at it! With the addition of the cutscenes, the small changes, the boss fights against Squad Jackal and Infinite, and the added levels, the episode shouldn’t get overwhelmingly longer, but longer enough for it to feel more satisfying!

And with that, we’re done! I hope you enjoyed this massive thing. Despite me really liking Sonic Forces, I do think a few things could be improved. It’s not like it will happen, but rewriting is a lot of fun!

And why, no: I don’t take myself seriously.

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 44)

Saint Denis Times Tribune

This chapter might be a little sad for some of you, Hosea gets laid to rest. Then we read something disturbing in the newspaper that threatens to throw reader into despair. 

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

Digging a hole in the ground in a quiet spot outside Bluewater Marsh with Reverend Swanson brought back a few unpleasant memories. My brother and I had done it twice over not far from our very spot years ago, hammered two crosses into the ground, said a few words. This time it was for Hosea. We'd picked the spot with the small gathering of people who had decided to come, most of the gang was present, aside from the obvious missing folk, some who had volunteered to stay back at camp to protect it, and a few who admitted they couldn't handle being there. Charles and Abigail were in Saint Denis, retrieving Hosea's body from the mortuary. We wanted to give him a burial that meant something, not what the state would've provided; probably an unmarked grave somewhere we'd never find out about. If it meant turning to crime, breaking in to give Hosea what he deserved, we'd do it. 

It had been Abigail's suggestion. She was taking it hard; Hosea, I realised, was a father to her just as much as he was to Arthur. Tilly, as well, she had been withdrawn and quiet since we'd found out, and she was nearby picking flowers to lay.

When the grave was prepared, the group stood around it and waited wordlessly. The mood was solemn and painful, the air unnaturally still, quiet. It was a short while before hoof beats and the rattle and creak of wagon wheels on uneven terrain sounded Abigail and Charles' return. Hosea was in the back, a white sheet blanketing him. As soon as I laid eyes on him, I felt my throat grow tight with the urge to cry. I held back, knowing I had far less reason to shed a tear than any of the people around me. 

I averted my eyes when Charles and Swanson worked together to lift the body, carried it over and carefully lowered it into the grave. Abigail joined me and Tilly, sliding in between us and taking Tilly's hand, then mine. I gave hers a silent squeeze of support. 

They adjusted the blanket, made sure he was carefully covered and comfortably positioned in his final resting place. Then Charles stepped back, stopping beside me. Everyone gathered in a circle around the grave, pressed shoulder to shoulder, Swanson standing at the head; he retrieved a Bible from inside his coat. 

"It's been a difficult few weeks," Swanson began, "it's never easy, losing a comrade. But I think all of us can agree Hosea was far more than that. He was a friend. A saviour. And to many of you, I know he was more a father. He was certainly the voice of reason and goodness among us."

Heads nodded. Shaky breaths could be heard and I didn't dare look up to see who was crying, I knew I would join them. 

"I'd like to read a few words from my Bible, if that's okay?" He continued, and when nobody protested, he took a breath and looked down at Hosea. "But first, would anyone else like to say anything?" 

Abigail let go of my hand to raise hers in the air, and all eyes turned to her. 

"He really was like a father, weren't he?" She said, a ray of happiness in her choked up tone, "I always felt that. When the gang took me in I– Hosea always looked out for me. He was so kind to me, to everybody. It hurts so much that all those people see when they look at us is monsters, and they can just do this– I wish I'd done more that day to try and– I can't do nothing now. I just hope he knows I love him, wherever he is."

I stroked her back, my tears welling over silently. 

"Ain't nothing anybody could've done. Hosea would know that, we all do. And I wanna say that I love him too, one of the greatest men I've known," Tilly said, stepping forwards and kneeling down. She reached over and placed a small bundle of flowers on his chest. "He always had a wise word for anyone, a little bit of hope and care when things seemed like they were falling apart. I'll miss him, painfully."

"We all will," Susan nodded, her voice betraying her grief despite her ability to hold back the tears so clearly aching to come out. Everyone nodded in agreement, and there was silence for a few moments followed by the flipping of pages. I looked to Swanson as he opened up his Bible, parting the pages to the one he'd marked with the ribbon that was attached to the spine. 

Swanson cleared his throat, his tired eyes focusing on the page. He'd changed a lot from the man I first became familiar with; before, he was almost always drunk or uncomfortably out of it, but since the move to Lakay, he seemed to be doing better. At least some good had come out of the awful circumstances. It was just sad that everyone else had gone the other way.

"Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death," Reverend Swanson read from the Bible, uttering each word slowly and clearly, then paused and looked up at us all, "I believe Hosea was a good man. Perhaps not in the eyes of the law, as Miss Roberts said, but at heart. He took in those that needed help, gave those of us who had been chewed up and spat out by the world another chance at finding a family. And he did so, never from a place of judgement,

"With his sickness, and the difficulties of the recent months, we must take solace in the knowledge that he is at peace now. And he is with his darling Bessie," he said, and a few nodded, small smiles appearing on their faces. "Perhaps you would all like to join me in a prayer?" 

I brought my hands together, clasping them at my heart and bowing my head. 

"Almighty God, you love everything you have made and judge us with infinite mercy and justice. We rejoice in your promises of pardon, joy and peace to all those who love you. In your mercy turn the darkness of death into the dawn of new life, and the sorrow of parting into the joy of heaven; through our Saviour Jesus Christ, who died, rose again, and lives forever more," Reverend recited, head bowed, eyes closed, "amen."

"Amen," was murmured among the group, some spoke with more conviction than others, varying degrees of fraught emotion. 

Soon, Charles and Mr. Pearson were stepping forwards to bury Hosea. They carefully blanketed him in the soil, laying layer after layer ever so gently, as if tucking him up in bed for his eternal sleep.

-

I rode back to camp on the back of Charles' horse, Taima, everyone else making their own way back. We attempted to split the group a bit, drawing less attention in case any law were around. He stopped next to Rayna, and held my hand as I slid down to my feet. 

"That was lovely," I said as he remained on his horse, and he nodded. 

"I'm relieved we could do that. He deserved to be laid to rest by those he cared about and who cared for him," he said.

"Hosea was always very kind to me," I recalled the way he'd comforted me when Arthur had gone missing as I spoke. "I wish Arthur could've been there today."

Charles nodded sadly, and there was a pause, I realised he still hadn't dismounted. 

"I'm sorry, I won't keep you, are you off somewhere?"

"I met with Rains Fall the other day. Things are bad up at the reservation, I was heading over there to help out," he explained. 

"Arthur mentioned that name to me a while ago," I recalled. "It ain't right what's happening to them. Is there anything I can do?" 

"Not right now. Things are tense, the army is involved. I think it might be safer for you to not get involved right now," he told me, and I nodded in understanding. 

"Okay, Charles. You take care," I said, giving his horse a gentle pat on the neck. 

"I will. I'll see you later," he nodded to me, then tugged on the reins, turning Taima and heading back the way he came. I watched him disappear down the tracks, picking up speed, then looked back at Rayna. 

I approached her, pulling my brush from my saddle and tending to her mane, running the bristles through. It wasn't tangled at all, someone had been seeing to her. Her coat was also clean, brushed thoroughly. I continue to brush her mane anyway, as a means of spending some time with her. I needed a little love from her. 

"How're you doing, girl?" I asked under my breath, stroking my free hand up and down the bridge of her nose. I raised onto tip-toes and kissed her face. 

A sharp huff through a pair of nostrils caught my attention, and I looked up to see Jet on the other side of the hitching post. He was standing still with his head bowed. He hadn't been ridden in a couple of weeks, of course, but he'd been well looked after by the likes of Kieran. The men's horses had managed to make their way back to Shady Belle before we left for Lakay, and it was a relief that we hadn't lost any. 

I felt quite emotional looking at Arthur's horse. I wondered if Jet missed him. It looked like he did, with the way his eyes were glumly stuck to the ground, but that could've been me projecting my own human emotions onto him. Either way, I approached him, stroking his neck and his face, giving him some sweetness. He pushed his face into my touch and flicked his tail, and I smiled. 

"I'm sure he misses you too," I sighed, reaching into my satchel to retrieve an apple, lifting it up to his mouth. Rayna perked up, nudging her nose into Jet's space as she tried to snag the treat for herself. "Not for you!" I laughed, ensuring Jet ate it up. 

"Hey, Miss, you alright? How was the, uh…" Kieran's once small, now more self assured voice came from behind me. 

"Hi Kieran," I smiled, turning to face him, "it was nice."

"Oh, good," he nodded, then looked down, drawing attention to the thing in his hands. "I hope this ain't too presumptuous of me, but I made you something. Well, for your horse."

"Oh?" I looked down at the object. It looked like a piece of shredded up rag, and essentially that was all it was. 

"I noticed she's docked? Ain't got much tail left," he began, pointing and walking around to the back of her. I followed him. It was true, she had a little hair but it didn't grow very long.

"Unfortunately so. I bought her like that," I nodded. 

"I figured it's so buggy 'round here, she'd like a little help keeping the flies off. Made this to add to her tail, it ain't very pretty but it should work."

"Oh, thank you, Kieran. That's very thoughtful," I smiled, gesturing with my hand to give him permission to attach the thing. 

He took some strips and bundled them with the hair around her tail, braiding them into it securely before tying it off where her natural hair ended. She was left with a tail that was braided at the top, from which dangled strips of fabric, just as long as any other horse's tail. Nifty. 

"That looks pretty good! I think she'll like that," I beamed, patting Kieran's shoulder appreciatively. "Thank you for all the work you put into these horses. They're lucky to have you. As is the gang." 

"If it's my way of bein' useful, I'll take it. I like being around the horses," he explained, watching as Rayna discovered her new tail, flipping it around. It'd do nicely to dust the flies away. 

"I'm pleased you've found your place here, it's good to feel useful, ain't it?"

"It sure is. Especially since I feel I've got a lot to prove. Maybe I ain't raking in cash for the box, but these horses are invaluable. Think of how much we use 'em, they gotta be looked after well," he said strolling over to Jet, brushing down a patch of ruffled fur on his flank with his hand. 

"Exactly," I agreed. "And I'm sure the boys'll appreciate you keeping their horses happy while they're gone."

Kieran nodded slowly, going quiet at the mention of the others. The silence went on for so long it began to feel awkward, and I was about to excuse myself when he finally spoke up. 

"I'm sorry, by the way. Can't be easy for you, with Mr. Morgan gone." 

My lips parted, I stared at him for a second. Eventually I closed my mouth and nodded. 

"Just trying not to get too caught up in thinking about where he could be," I said, and he smiled at me in that shy, closed mouth way of his. 

"Well, there ain't much point in getting yourself all worried, now," he said, then looked around timidly, "if there's anything I can do for you to take some stress off, maybe take a couple of your chores, you let me know."

"Aw, thank you. That's kind. But I'm okay, I reckon I prefer keeping busy," I told him. 

"In that case, can I give you any of my chores?" He asked, then snickered and shook his head. "No, I'm kidding. But uh, yeah, if there is anything I can help you with, it's the least I could do. You saved my skin."

I shook my head and smiled. "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind," I told him. He nodded, rubbed his hands on his pants. 

"Anyway, I–" he finished his sentence by simply pointing over his shoulder, then he shuffled off in that direction. 

-

I'd stopped keeping track of the days since Arthur's departure, but I had to figure it'd been a few weeks. It felt like longer, though, every day dragging and dragging. I spent most of my time in camp, most people did. Nobody was going out pulling jobs, bringing in money; Sadie and Charles had decided that the heat was far too intense to risk drawing any more attention, so any work we did was legal and purely for survival. Hunting, selling skins, gathering herbs and selling those, that sort of thing. It didn't bring in much but it was enough to buy the food and supplies we needed. We were trying to stretch the money in the camp fund tin as far as possible considering there wasn't much going in it and we didn't know how long we'd have without Dutch and the others. 

I had been given a rare outing, though, with Abigail. We'd been handed a small bundle of cash and tasked with going into Saint Denis to buy some vegetables. We took one of the wagons, and I drove us into town and to the market where I knew we'd get a better price than the general store if we haggled. She did a better job than I did of getting the price down, she wasn't afraid to bat her eyelashes and put on a little charm with the man running the stall. He helped us load up the wagon, to boot. 

"You feel like finding somewhere to get a cool drink before heading back? I got some money saved up, ain't suggesting we use the camp funds. I just feel like staying out a little longer," Abigail suggested when we climbed back on the wagon. 

"That sounds real nice," I nodded gratefully. 

"We won't be too long, but we've been cooped up in that swamp so long I feel like we deserve some time away," she said, and took the reins. We rode around for some time before finding a small cafe that advertised fresh lemonade and a courtyard around the back. We figured it was a good a place as any, and the courtyard would keep us out of view of the street in case anyone happened to recognise us. 

Abigail treated me to my drink and we sat down on a table in the courtyard, the place was pretty vacant. Most patrons were sitting inside out of the sun, it happened to be a rather warm day, but we valued privacy over shade. Abigail sighed and leaned back in the metal chairs that probably would've burned they were so hot in the sun, if it weren't for our clothes acting as a barrier. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath. 

"You hear that?" She asked, and I strained my ears. All I could hear was the murmur of voices from the cafe and the streets beyond, the ringing of the church bells, hoof beats on cobblestone. The sounds of the city. "Ain't an alligator hiss, a cricket or a disgruntled Pearson for miles."

"Ain't a fan of this new camp?"

"Is anyone?" She countered drily.

I chuckled at her admission. "Sorta reminds me of growing up," I mused. 

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry," Abigail averted her eyes guiltily and I shook my head. 

"No, it’s okay. It ain’t too pleasant, I know," I snorted, "there are a lot of reasons I ain't been back since I left. But it feels a bit like home anyway." 

"How're you finding it all?" She asked. 

"You know, fine," I shrugged and sipped my drink, ignoring her eyes on me, all concerned. "How're you finding it? I know you must be worried about John."

She made a tsking sound, and her expression withered. "Sure. I understand why we can't just go busting him out without a thought, but still. He's my– he's the father of my son. I just wish there was some sense of urgency about getting him back."

"You know I'd help you, Abigail, if I was good with these things. John saved my life. If I could save him too, then…" I trailed off and sighed. "I miss him too. He's a good friend."

"Never said I missed him," she said, pressing her lips together. 

"Come on, Abigail," I nudged, looking at her directly. 

"Maybe a little," she said quietly. "Anyway, don't you prod me tryin'a get me to open up about my feelings. If I hear you say you're fine one more time I'll lose my damn mind."

"What do you want me to say?" I cocked a brow at her.

"I don't know. That you miss Arthur, or something," she stammered with uncertainty.

"Of course I miss him. With my whole heart I do, I thought it went without saying."

"You're allowed to open up about it, that's all I'm saying," she sighed. "You've been real quiet. Some of us are worried."

"I'm always quiet, though."

"Sure, but not like this."

"This is my way of dealing with it. I feel like if I speak too much about him I'll– it'll spiral into something and I won't be able to handle it so well," I told her honestly, and after searching my eyes for a moment she nodded in understanding. 

"Alright then. As long as you'll tell someone if it gets too much."

"I will. Thank you. Everyone has been so kind these last few weeks," I smiled, emotion bubbling and threatening to make me cry. 

"Well, in situations like this, sure beats being a bunch of bastards to each other. And you know, it could go either way, everyone’s so wound up."

"Some people went the other way. Or are at least heading there. I can't stand the bickering going on," I sighed and Abigail rolled her eyes.

"I've learned to tune it out. It's Uncle who's gettin' on my nerves. Keeps going on about having to do something, get some money, figure a better place to move to. All the while he's sitting on his ass drinking the last of the booze," she grumbled.

"I don't think I could stand moving again so soon, truth be told."

"No, you're right. All this moving is wearing thin. More than ever it makes me wanna take Hosea's advice and get the hell out of here," she admitted, her lips puckering sadly. 

"He told you that?"

"He always thought it'd be best for me and the boy to be out of this life. We were just trying to make John see sense," she explained, and suddenly I realised her issues with John were far more complicated than simply being angry that he'd left for a year. "He never was the family kind."

"Maybe his arrest will be the kick up the backside he needs. For what it's worth, I think you'd all be better off getting out, too."

She nodded, looking down. She was quiet for a few moments. "You and Arthur ever talk about leaving?"

My mouth opened but I just stared at her. I didn't know how to answer. "Uhh, sure, it was mentioned a couple times," I settled on. "Mostly when Dutch was on about going to Tahiti."

"Oh, Christ. I sure as hell weren't going along with that, whether John went or not."

"Did he want to go?"

"John don't know what he wants. I ain't got no hope of knowing," she chuckled. 

"Well, I hope he chooses you and Jack in the end, Abigail," I smiled at her, "I think he will. He's not that big of a fool."

"I hope you're right. Actually, I wanna get a newspaper while we're here. See if anything's been said about him, d'ya mind?"

"Course not," I said, and finished the rest of my lemonade.

We left the cafe then, and made our way back out to the streets to find the paper vendor. He wasn't far from the wagon, so I waited there while Abigail went and bought the newest paper. She handed it to me when she climbed up onto the wagon to join me. 

"I uh, can't actually," she began quietly, then cleared her throat. "Would you mind reading it for me? I'll drive."

"Of course," I nodded, looking down at it. The wagon started moving and I scanned the front page for news about infamous outlaws being captured, but the entire cover was on about a ship heading to Cuba. I gave it little thought, flicking through the paper scanning for anything to do with outlaws, bank robberies, John Marston… 

I finally came across an article a few pages in. It was about the bank, talking about multiple criminals at large, one imprisoned, one killed at the scene, all linked to Dutch's boys. I skim-read it, trying to find something I didn't already know. When I did find something, my mouth dropped open. 

"They… they're saying he'll be–" I turned my eyes to her, unable to spit it out. 

"What?"

"Well, they wanna move him to Sisika," I finally said. Abigail stared at me with eyes frozen wide. "Yeah, he's currently being held in Saint Denis, but they wanna move him to Sisika by next week."

"Well then we're gonna need to break him out soon. Ain't no hope of getting him out of that place!" She exclaimed and I shushed her, looking around, we were still in the middle of the city. Abigail sped up the horses, almost taking out a pedestrian.

"Calm down! We'll just get back and tell the others."

"What else does it say?" She asked harshly. 

"Not a lot. It's all very vague, like they don't wanna say much. I mean, I guess it makes sense. They're hardly gonna put the time and date of when they'll be moving him with the others still out there, that'd be asking for a break out job," I shook my head, rereading the article. "Other than that it's just saying what we already know. Good Lord, you know how many officers were killed?"

"I don't particularly wanna know," she sighed. We were out of the city by then, and heading for the bayou. I gnawed on my lip. They'd killed a lot of people on that bank job, the number printed in front of me difficult to comprehend as individual lives. I closed the newspaper, swallowed down the sickly feeling in my gut and stayed quiet as we headed back to camp. 

Abigail rolled the wagon to a stop at the entrance to Lakay, tearing the paper (literally, I was left with the front cover) from my hands and jumping down, marching towards the shack at the edge of camp. I didn't move for a while, watching her run, moments before I heard her yelling. I sighed and closed my eyes, taking a breath. So, John was being moved to a heavily guarded prison in the middle of an island, and the majority of our most competent members were missing. I was struggling to remain positive about such a thing. 

I looked down absent-mindedly at the page still left in my hand, turning it over and looking at the headline. LOST AT SEA. I thought about Arthur, wondered what he would do if he was here. He probably would've been the first to grant Abigail's wishes and come to John's rescue. He was always the one to go saving everyone. But once again, he was the one whose location was unknown, and once again, nothing was being done about it. 

But what could be done about it? He'd gotten on that boat and we knew nothing–

I felt like someone had pushed me from behind, slamming me into a bath of ice cold water. Ice cold water with an electric current going through it. 

I gripped the paper, lifting it and scanning the words on the page. Departing from Saint Denis… the day of the bank robbery… a terrible storm… unknown number of casualties… it all became a blur but I managed to take in the essential information. I shook my head, my hands stiff as if I was sitting up in the grizzlies despite the hot humid air around me. What were the chances? Could it really be? I was overcome with the most awful feeling. Immediately my mind began conjuring up alternatives.

Surely there was more than one boat departing from Saint Denis that night. Right? Ships probably come and go all the time from a city as busy as Saint Denis. Did I have the date right? I never was any good at keeping track of what day it was. If this was the boat that Arthur had boarded, this news would've been printed sooner, wouldn't it? The odds of it being that boat, the chances of everything lining up in such a way–

"Are you alright there?" Lenny's voice broke me from my stupor and I turned my wide eyes and gaping mouth to him. 

"Uhh," I responded dumbly. I couldn't yet speak. I extended a shaky arm, handing him the scrap of paper. He took it from me with a frown on his face, and I watched his eyes dart back and forth as he read the article. His frown didn't shift immediately, but his brows gradually raised, realisation sinking in.

"You don't think…" he began, eyes flicking back up to me. My head jerked, it wasn't a nod or a shake, it wasn't any real response, but Lenny seemed to gain something from it. "We should… we should tell the others," he murmured, seeming about as stunned as me, though dealing with it a lot better. 

He swallowed visibly, dragging the back of his hand across his brow, wiping away the beads of moisture collected there as he frowned back down at the page, eyes darting to and fro again. He licked his lips, pressing them together, his hand gripping the paper hard enough it shook a little. 

"I…" he began, shaking his head. He met my eyes again. "Are you alright? You don't look so good." 

"I'm, um, I don't know," I frowned, turning, swinging my legs over the edge of the wagon and sliding down. Lenny reached out, ensuring I didn't stumble, eyeing me up with a creased forehead.

 I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't tell how I felt, at all. I didn't feel anything. There was a sense of panic there, but it was behind a wall, just in the peripheral, at the edge of my senses. 

"Maybe you shouldn't stand up," he worried, touching my elbow.

"I'm okay," I shook my head. 

"You want me to go and show them this?" He asked and I nodded. 

"Yeah, maybe you should. I think I'm gonna… I feel like I need a minute, just," I said, ambling away towards the water's edge. 

"Shall I send someone to you?" He asked me, and I could hear how concerned he was but all I wanted was for people to not focus on me, it was Arthur and the others who mattered then.

"No, I just need to be alone for a bit, don't worry, Lenny," I told him, shaking my head. "Thanks," I added, then slipped behind one of the half collapsed buildings and leaned up against the side, staring out over the swamp and breathing heavily. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, peering into the blackness behind my lids. I squeezed them so hard that bursts of nonexistent light filled my vision. I hoped that when I opened them I would see the peeling wall of Arthur's room in Shady Belle and he'd be sleeping pressed up behind me on his bed, and everything from the last few weeks had never happened and it was just a particularly terrible nightmare. But I opened them to a blurry image of green and brown, blinking into focus the swamp with gators floating in the distance, spoonbills flying overhead, flies and mosquitoes buzzing around my face. Something wavered in me and I felt tension building, it came out as a sob, one I choked back and trapped behind the hand I pressed over my mouth. I took several deep breaths, steadying myself, reining it in. Someone said my name, so soft and gentle and kind it almost destroyed that control I pulled back. 

I turned to see Mary-Beth peering around the side of the building, her big, pretty eyes looking so sad and sympathetic. I shook my head and turned away from her.  

"Hey, now. Come inside, won't you? Lenny showed us that article. I know you must be going out of your mind…" she cooed, and I heard her footsteps padding on the soggy ground. 

"I don't want to," I said, my voice sounding tight and quiet.

"Okay… alright," she said carefully. I felt her hand on my back, between my shoulders, rubbing softly. 

The breath I took was jerky. "Where is Molly?" I asked, suddenly realising I hadn't seen her for a while.

"Molly? You're close with Molly?" She said, sounding surprised. 

"No, I just– her and Dutch. I wanna know how she's taking it, that's all." 

"Oh… well, truth is, she ain't here," she admitted, looking down. 

"What?" I turned to look at her.

"Apparently she left while we were out burying Hosea," she told me. I raised my brows.

"Oh," I released the small noise, looking away. Perhaps she'd decided to go back to Ireland after all. At least she'd never have to hear about this. "Nobody's worried?"

"Well, her things are gone. And one of the Morgans," she said, and I nodded. "Doesn't look like she's been taken away against her will. I sorta saw it coming. Dutch was the only thing keeping her here, and," she trailed off, shrugging lightly. 

"Well, that's…" I began, my voice disappearing when I realised I had nothing to say. 

"Can any of us do anything for you? Do you need someone, I don't know, do you need a hug or someone to talk to?" She asked after a moment. 

"Mary-Beth, you're very sweet. I appreciate you coming and seeing how I am. I'm just… I don't quite know what to do with myself just yet. If that really is– if what I read has something to do with Arthur–" I closed my eyes and shook my head. "What'll I do?" 

"Well, it's okay to cry. You don't have to hold everything in," she said, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it.

"All that'll achieve is giving me a headache," I muttered, "I think I might go out for a ride."

"Alone?" She balked, and I nodded, "are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I slipped my hand out of hers and walked around the building, heading for the horses. Mary-Beth followed.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," she warned, fiddling with her fingers. 

"I have my guns. I promise I'll come back later, I ain't running off," I assured her, "I know these parts well. Grew up here."

"Well, okay then. Please be safe."

I mounted up, patting Rayna on the neck, clicking at her and tugging her reins. 

"I will be. I won't go far," I forced a smile at her, then trotted off down the path.

[soldatbarnes]

Six Months

Summary: Your daughter finds out how little time you spent with your husband before marrying him. 

Bucky Barnes X Reader (kinda Mechanic!Bucky/Modern AU?); a smidge of Brock Rumlow X Reader

Word Count: 2291

Warnings: Brock Rumlow being the worst. A car accident. Cheesy fluff.

A/N: I’m sorry, I’m very rusty. I hope everybody likes this!! I don’t really have a tag list anymore because I lost it, so I didn’t know who to tag! I hope you all enjoy this! Feedback would be incredible :) <3

You were sitting at your kitchen table, looking over special trinkets from your time with the love of your life. It was almost your 30th wedding anniversary, and you were feeling sentimental for the man that had captured your heart. You still couldn’t believe it. Thirty years. Having met him pretty young, you’d spent more of your lives together than apart. It was challenging sure, but you wouldn’t give him up for the world.  

Gazing at a picture from your first anniversary together, you were startled when you heard your front door open. Bucky wasn’t due back for a few hours yet. 

“Mom??” your daughter, Leigh called out. You sighed with relief, forgetting she was in the area today and promised to stop by. 

“In the kitchen Baby!” you smiled, piling pictures up together. You were so lucky. Your husband is incredible and you’d raised two amazing kids with him. 

“Watcha doin’?” she asked, flopping into a chair and nosing over the papers on the table. 

“Oh, just looking for an idea of what to do for your father this year.” you sighed. 

“I thought you guys were gonna renew your vows?” Leigh questioned, looking excited. She loved the prospect of being able to see you and your husband at a ‘second wedding’. Growing up she’d always adored how much you and Bucky loved each other, and worked together as a team, stating that she’d never settle down until she found what you had. 

“Well, we were thinking about it, but your father’s been working so hard lately, I don’t want to take a vacation when he has so much on his plate.” 

“Dad barely fixes cars anymore and spends most of his time at work drinking coffee with Uncle Steve.” Leigh laughed. “I’m sure he can take a little vacation with you. All you’d have to do is ask.” 

You chuckled. She had a point. When you first met Bucky he was a young mechanic, barely nineteen, working for your best friend in the world, Steve. Now, at almost fifty, he owned his own shop and mostly supervised the mechanics that worked for him. You glanced at your daughter, a beautiful mix of both yours and Bucky’s best features, she was concentrated on a piece of paper in front of her. 

“What?? Six months…” she mumbled. “Mom!!”

“What?” you were confused at her sudden outburst. 

“You and dad got married like, seven months before JJ was born!” 

“Yeah, I actually found out I was pregnant shortly after the wedding. I told you that.” 

“But you didn’t tell me that you and dad got married after like, six freakin’ months!!” you watched as she shook your marriage certificate around. “That’s barely enough time to get to know anybody!!” 

“Leigh relax. When you know, you know.” you shrugged. 

“I’ve barely had friendships that long!!” she was completely astounded. 

“Your dad has always been an incredibly special man.” you shook your head, remembering your first meeting. 

“Was it love at first sight or some crap?” Leigh asked. 

“Oh no. I didn’t even want to meet your father. I was completely done with all men at that point.” 

“Then how???” 

“Well it all started when I met a man named Brock…” 

After looking for an apartment for months, you’d finally found the place. It was a small two bedroom in Brooklyn that you could barely afford, but it was your new home. You couldn’t go back to your family. You had to survive on your own. Thankfully before you moved in, you found the perfect roommate, Wanda. 

Wanda was a little eccentric, but you liked her energy. You worked with her at a small coffee shop in the same area as your apartment building and you finally felt like you were getting a little closer at being able to stand on your own two feet. 

That was, until the day you were set to move in. Wanda had come to you, completely apologetic, stating that she was going to be moving in with her boyfriend instead. You couldn’t blame her. She’d been hoping he would ask for months before you even set up for her to live with you. The only problem was that the rent was a little steep for you to pay all on your own. 

But you got through. You even set aside a rainy day fund, in case of emergencies in your apartment, just in case you got sick or had to miss work, so you’d still make rent. 

Once again, things were looking up. And then you met him.

Brock Rumlow seemed charming at first. He was good looking, had a decent job, and knew some of your closest friends. At some point he’d run into some trouble, and had nowhere to go. Being the kind person that you are, you let him rent out the other room in your apartment. One thing led to another, and you’d begun dating. Everybody was supportive, except for your best friend Steve. 

Steve didn’t trust him at all. But wouldn’t give you any reasons as to why being with Brock was a bad idea. So you’d ignored him. 

Poor choice. 

On Christmas Eve, you were at Steve’s for a get together, with Brock. He had too much to drink and refused to take up Steve’s offer for you both to just spend the night until he’d sobered up in the morning. When you told him that you’d call a cab, he started to freak out. He didn’t want his precious car to be stuck there until morning. With a bad storm brewing outside, you tried to fight him on it, but it was no use. He just yelled over you until you quieted down. Begrudgingly you’d agreed to drive you both back home. 

After hugging Steve you headed out, an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. A feeling you’d learn to listen to later in life. 

Brock’s car was lightweight, and didn’t have proper tires to combat the harsh winter. You’d hit a patch of ice on the way home, and spun out, into a pole. To this day you still couldn’t believe his behaviour. 

“Hey, C’mon, we gotta go!” he’d yelled. 

“What?” you asked. The entire front of the vehicle was caved in, trapping you in the driver’s seat.

“I don’t have insurance on this fucking car, we gotta go!” he managed to get himself out of the wreck and began trying to pull you out of your seat. 

“Brock, that hurts, stop it!!” your legs were completed encased. 

“Get the fuck outta the car. This isn’t funny!”

“Is everything okay out here?” your head snapped to the unfamiliar voice. “I called 9-1-1, help will be here soon!” A concerned neighbour. You felt very grateful as your head began to spin, Brock’s yelling fading out. 

“I can’t fucking believe this. This guy has no idea what he’s done! I’m fucking out!” Those were the last words you’d heard from Brock Rumlow, as you blacked out. 

When you awoke later, Steve was by your side, ready to comfort you. 

“Stevie…” You’d mumbled.

“Hey darlin’.” he sighed. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’ve been better….” he grabbed your hand. 

“Look, I know you don’t need anymore bad news, but I went to your apartment this morning…” he trailed off, refusing to look you in the eye. 

“What is it?” 

“He took everything.” he choked out. “I’m so sorry…” 

When you were discharged from the hospital Steve took you to your apartment. You were shocked when you went in. It was trashed. Your stuff was strewn everywhere, clothes were cut up, glassware was smashed. You ran to your room to look for your valuables and they were all gone. Your grandma’s jewellery, gone. Your rainy day fund, gone. 

“Steve…” you couldn’t stop the tears if you’d tried. 

“It’s okay. It’ll be okay. You can come and live with Peggy and I until we can figure this out..” he rubbed your back as you cried. 

It was about two months into living with Steve and Peggy that Steve made the suggestion that made you scoff. 

“Hey,” he’d sat down beside you on the couch as your read your favourite book. “I got a guy that I work with that I’d love for you to meet.” 

“No.” was your only answer. 

“No? What do you mean ‘No’?” he looked confused. 

“No more men. I’m done with men. I still don’t know what to do about that damn apartment. I know Brock’s still paying his part of the rent, I’m just so scared to go there. So No. No men.” 

“But this guy… He’s different!” 

“None of them are different Steve. So no.” 

And he’d let it go. For a while. And then one day, when you were doing the dishes, he came to you and said “Bucky’s coming for dinner tonight. You’ll be there.” and promptly left the kitchen.  You turned to look at Peggy who shrugged. 

“He’s… A really nice guy… I promise.” she nodded. “And he’s got a really nice ass.” 

Hours later you found yourself stealing small glances at him. You were struck by how handsome he was. He was a man of very few words. It was refreshing. You both spoke very little to one another for the whole night, but it was one of the best nights you’d ever had. After dessert was over, Bucky had declared that he need to go, and early morning at the shop the next day. 

You decided to walk him to the door, feeling Steve and Peggy’s eyes on you the whole time. 

“Hey,” he turned, after stepping over the threshold. “I know it’s not my place, but Steve told me what happened with that Brock guy. He sounds like a total dick. If you want any help going to get your stuff, let me know, and I’ll be there.” 

You knew then that he was different. 

Bucky had come with you to clean up the mess that Brock had made. Steve helped too, but you barely registered his presence, too wrapped up in the man that wasn’t vying for your attention. He was simply being himself, and for that you felt relieved. 

Every moment with Bucky Barnes felt like a breath of fresh air, and every moment spent with him you’d fallen a little more and more for him. 

After two months into your relationship, the words had slipped through your lips. 

He was sitting on your couch, playing with your cat. He had cooked dinner, accepted your help with cleaning up, and now he was lounging. The cat was laying across his chest, playing with the fingers that he held up to him. Bucky was like nobody you’d ever known before, and he fit so well into your life. 

“Hey!” he’d called out, “When are you gonna join us? Watching Netflix isn’t the same without you.” he held out his arm for you to crawl into the space beside him. You sighed out the words before you could stop them. I love you. 

“What did you just say?” the words were so low you barely heard him. 

“I said ‘I love you Bucky’.” you replied, louder and more firm this time. He never once made you afraid to express your feelings. 

“That’s incredible.” he laughed. “I love you too. So much.” he declared, leaning over to give you a heartwarming kiss. 

By the fourth month you’d known. 

You were sat on his toolbox, in the shop he was working at at the time. He was sitting cross legged at your feet, taking a sip of the coffee you’d brought him. 

“Okay, so. This weekend we have Steve and Peggy’s for dinner…” he mumbled out loud. You’d moved in together soon after you’d shared ‘I love you’s’, much to Steve’s delight. “And we have Becca’s birthday brunch next Saturday…” He was always so busy, that he often went over stuff out loud with you. He always said it kept him true to his word, because you’d never let him off the hook if he missed something. 

“Busy couple of weeks..” you reached over, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. He looked a little tired, and was covered in grease. 

“That reminds me,” he smiled up at you. “Can you book the weekend after Becca’s birthday off?” 

“Ummm, sure. Why?” you asked, brow furrowing. 

“I want to take you to my cabin by the lake. Have a nice weekend, just the two of us.” he looked you in the eyes. So sincere. So unlike every interaction you’d ever had. And you knew. He was the one. So you’d asked, for him to be yours forever. And he’d said yes. 

“You proposed to dad?!” Leigh’s voice brought you back to the moment. 

“Yes! I loved, love, him so much. I have never met another person who even came close to being as incredible as your father. Except for you and your brother. Your both just like him. Sweet, caring, kind, sincere, feisty…” you trailed off. 

“It’s disgusting how much you love him.” she laughed. 

“It’s disgusting how much who loves who?” Your heart sped up. It always sped up at the sound of his voice. 

“How much I love you, Husband.” you chuckled when he appeared in the room, immediately striding to you and placing a loving kiss to your lips. 

“And I love you so much, beautiful wife.” he winked, before wrapping your daughter up in a hug. “And it’s not disgusting Leigh, it’s wonderful. Your mom makes us all better people.” 

“You’re both so cheesy.” she laughed. 

“You love it.” you responded in unison, before he leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss once more.