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#and i’ve put things into perspective since then
louistardust · 1 year
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already feels like a dream ❤️‍🔥
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divine-construct · 9 months
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i am taking oppenheimer away from the public until everyone learns how to read and understand media because my god the public’s media literacy when it comes to oppenheimer is terribly bad.
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steampunk-raven · 6 months
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whoever made the artistic decision to have one frame (with a bit of tweening) last for like 4 lines I’m in love with you. by the way.
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peachheavycream · 3 months
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Oh you say he loves you? But will he orbit a super nova and burn up a sun just to say goodbye?….
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inhonoredglory · 9 months
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Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality
Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.
I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.
Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,
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We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.
I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.
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Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)
That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.
Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.
But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.
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And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.
I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)
But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.
Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).
Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.
(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)
At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.
“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.
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Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.
Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.
But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.
Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)
Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.
Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”
____
In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.
Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.
Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.
And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.
And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.
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roaringroa · 11 months
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wish my friend would allow me to pay for his stuff sometimes :((
#his money is very tight so he doesn’t usually hang out with us outside of college even though we mostly do cheap hang outs#we’ve offered to chime in for his part a few times and he always declines so we respect that and don’t offer anymore#so he doesn’t have to keep declining#but since i’m doing a birthday thing at the end of the month i invited him and in private sent a message#saying that if he can’t go because of money i’d like to cover it just this once cause it’s my birthday and i’d really like him to be there#i detailed how it would go and it literally could be done in a way where it basically would only cost me his transportation#seeing as the place we’ll be celebrating in has free entry before 8pm (i’ll be there before regardless of him coming)#and they do have a set cost of 10 reais if you don’t buy anything but i could buy something for me under his name there#if he doesn’t want to order something for himself (which i would also gladly pay for!)#in that way it would only cost me his transportation which i’m not sure how much exactly it costs#but let’s say 20 reais which would be a gross overestimation#that is really not much#it’s like less than a mcdonalds combo to put it in perspective#like i’ve given 20 reais to strangers before#i would gladly gladly have done it for a friebd#i understand he doesn’t like us paying for him and how that could be upsetting#but it would be just once it wouldn’t be much and only cause it’s my birthday#he declined though :(#it’s okay i’m not mad or upset at him#it’s a difficult situation to be put in#but it saddens me because i really really like him and i really wish he would allow himself to have fun with us every now and then#my post
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my-wildflwr · 2 years
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i never truly realized how hard it was for me to open up for love like. i was miserable and suffering all because i was too afraid i would get hurt but i WAS getting hurt by not letting anyone in. and now i have. and i feel loved and taken care of and happy? not even talking about romantic stuff im talking about making new friends opening up to new experiences letting others see me and let them decide if they want to stay or not and not making that choice for them. it’s all so liberating to know that there are people out there that not only love you, but they love you on purpose
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loaksbitch · 1 year
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imagine neteyam sully finally stood up and proved himself he was serious about you in two ways, one was obviously with his words while the other was physically fucking his love for you in to you yes? YES! this is the finale of the i trusted you miniseries! — wc 4.4k ( tag list in the comments )
warnings - mating press, kissing, lots of kissing, neteyam is switch dom, cursing, vulgar language, him ripping your loincloth mentioned, crying, confusion, fucking, missionary, p in v, p penetration, size kink, mention of squirting but it’s short, praising, making love, mating, bonding, neteyam is a cry baby, jealousy, kinda rough sex (?), pinning against a tree, neteyam fucks you while hanging you on air. i think that’s it, lmk if i’ve to add anything.
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“i trust you.” — neteyam sully (꩜,⨳)
here is part (one) — (two) — (three) of this series
everything from neteyam’s perspective was boring.
it was so fucking boring he had started playing with the decorations that was put on throne-like chair he was sat.
some part of him was happiest that you showed up but almost all about him was anxious and in pain when thinking you’re leaving after this party.
neteyam was very uninterested in how äeya was eyeing him or whispering things to him or how she tried to touch him. her touch genuinely makes his gut tighten in disgust.
how can she not take a sign when he pulls his hand away from her?
neteyam’s eyes wander at the crowd of na’vi in front of him, who are having fun and dancing. you’re not there. his eyes keep wondering before they finally land on your figure.
it wasn’t a pleasants sight when a fucking na’vi is trying to hold you from falling.
neteyam’s eyes squint to figure out who was standing next to you, daring to put his fucking hand on your body. neteyam would be honest that he’s glad the male stopped you from tumbling down and falling but putting his hands as an excuse on your waist?
unacceptable.
he hadn’t noticed how his body was tense from jealousy until äeya put her hands on his shoulder.
“nete’?” her sweet like voice calls for him but neteyam was too far invested on keeping his eyes on you. his jaw is clenched and hurting from how he’s biting on it.
äeya was again ignored and her stomach tightens, it kinda hurts when the person she was going to be mated with is ignoring her. yes, she doesn’t want him but then again they’ll be bound for life. yet äeya never wanted to be mated with neteyam, it was her parents to strengthen the so-called family ties or whatever they call it.
deep down, she really wished the feeling was mutual since neteyam kept ignoring her.
neteyam on other hand arches his brow when you suddenly make eye contact with him and sickening smirk on your lips before murmuring something like ‘fuck it, let’s dance’ to the male na’vi that’s tempting neteyam to break his neck
it was as if everything was numb and dull in neteyam’s eye except for you and that pet bitch that keeps following you to the crowd.
once you two were in front of neteyam, of course you’re the one who’s doing this intentionally, you start to dance with the na’vi male neteyam doesn’t know about.
he tried to shrug everything so bad until he saw the male pull you to him and press your body against his. neteyam felt like this was his last straw to brush it off as a bullshit
the stranger was fucking up with his love and neteyam will make sure to fuck him up.
taking off from his seat, neteyam walks down right to where you both are. “neteyam what are yo…” he ignored the call of his parents. the only target right now was latching you away from the asshole what’s trying to grind himself on you.
once he is close, he doesn’t fail to notice how the male na’vi pulls his hand away from you and instantly stops moving. you were distracted for the first few seconds before noticing no’xus and neteyam hears you about to curse the male in front of you
“what is it?” you’re annoyed when you turn and almost bump with neteyam who’s too close for your liking.
“put your hands off of her.” your words are ignored as neteyam ordered the male na’vi, no’ us only looked at him manically. “i’m not fucking repeating myself.”
all the na’vi’s had stopped their dancing and celebration, too confused why the future olo'eyktan is in front of you and demanding the other male to let you go.
your body is jerked away from the stranger you just met and you hiss when neteyam tugs you close to him. what is he thinking? in front of everyone?
“fucking let go of what’s mine and find your own mate.” neteyam scowls dangerously.
“his mate?” the whole omatikaya village gasps and whispers. “neteyam, what’re you do–“ he silenced you with a sharp “i’m dealing with you later.” and turns to his family and äeya’s before speaking loud.
fear was gone when he started to talk.
“i, neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan, has already chosen my woman as a mate.” you’re too shocked to even process what’s happening, even no’xus was gawking in shock. “and my woman is her.”
you’re tugged close to him and jake gets on his feet, “neteyam.” he warns with a deep voice but neteyam doesn’t even budge as his hands are on your hips. “no father, i speak this time and you will listen.” neteyam warns back
“i’ve always tried to be the perfect son for you and the perfect warrior but i’m tired of really giving up my happiness this time.” your eyes are wide, what was he doing.
“i’m not mating with äeya,” he was now staring at äeya’s parents, “i’ve always had the beautiful and prettiest girl i loved and want a future with.” neteyam tightens his hold on yours
“we had already made love.” right the moment the words leave his lips, the na’vi’s are whispering loud and netyiri clasps her hands on her mouth. “it is already done in front of eywa.”
it’s ironically insane how both of his parents sees their young love story between their son and you
“you can disagree or hate me for this but i’m fucking ready to let go of everything for her.” your breath is caught in your throat.
“neteyam, please stop.” you say but he only ignored you.
“i’ll step down from being the future clan leader if you want me to.” he was ready to give up everything for you. “i'm sorry for not stepping up for us before.” he was facing you now.
your eyes blurry when he leans to place his forehead against yours, you wish this dream never ended. “i see you, y/n.” a silent sob leaves your lips and neteyam quickly catches your tears, “don’t cry, baby.” he whispers
as much as jake wanted to deny it, he knew how much neteyam must be hurting and everything made sense to netyiri why her first born was acting up like this.
“what is this nonsense?” ty’sak, äeya’s father growls and neteyam closes his eyes before leaning back and turning to face the furious man. “i’ll apologize for my actions but never will i apologize for choosing her.” neteyam says ready to leave since he knows his parents will deal with them
“princess?” he holds onto your soft hands, “let’s get out of here.” you’re fast to nod and neteyam firmly nods, pulling you out of the pooled na’vi’s not forgetting to knowingly bump his shoulder with no’xus.
you don’t know what to feel and if scared and happy was the right answer? maybe you would agree.
what will happen after now? you’re holding on tight to neteyam’s large hand while he leads you out of the crowd, what will happen after this night? you’re gonna leave after tonight. what will happen right next moment?
neteyam has proved his point that he's really in love with you and chooses you but at what cost? you’re not gonna stay here anymore right?.. right?
once the two of you are far enough from the chaos, both of you are breathing heavily while staring at each other. you’re now in the woods, forest covering both of you.
neteyam made sure no one would find you two here.
“hey.” his rough voice makes your inside tingle, “hi.” it was as if you're both meeting for the first time. then again, awkward silence settles and neteyam doesn’t like any second of it ticking.
“look,” he starts but you shake your head and he shuts himself down fast. what’s going on inside that pretty mind of yours?
“princess?” he calls for you, “i love you.” his words makes your inside twist, neteyam has literally proved to you that he takes you seriously. “please trust me when i say that.” pain was visible in his voice.
you open your mouth to speak and close them again, why’re you like this? tell him you love him and trust him. your mind is going feral and neteyam watches you closely
“i love you.” you whisper quietly but it was loud enough for neteyam to hear it.
he wanted to tell you right there, cry in front of you and kiss you but he can’t just scare you away like that, not when you are telling him you’re in love with him.
there’s no point that you’ll deny your love for him anymore. it was obvious eywa was testing you both and you’re admitting you’re in love and trust this dumbass with your soul.
“princess.” neteyam is a consensual type of na’vi as his soft voice makes you look right to his eyes. “can i kiss you?” you’re gasping now, tears flowing as you desperately nod.
he was so careful with you, hands coming for contact with you, it was like fireworks exploding and ice cold water splashing on you. you watch him take a step to you and press his lips onto yours.
this was it, you both missed this.
the first time, it was gentle smooch against your upper lip then the second one, when neteyam leans more was more desperate and needy.
taking your lower lips in his and nibbling them lightly, you’re whimpering how he’s good at this, you’re both made for each other. neteyam doesn’t hold back when you whimper, two of his large hands cupping your jaw and pulling you more to him.
he was going hard on you, biting your soft lip hard that you’re convinced he broke your skin because the metallic taste on your tongue says so. “neteyam,” you call and feel him kiss the corner of your mouth.
“i’m here, i’m right here.” he tells you, hands roaming on your body, you’re trying to focus on his hands gripping you and loving how they feel but your heart is hurting from missing him so bad.
neteyam was quick to pull back and check your face, “what is it, tell me what’s wrong.” you hiccup, again so open and vulnerable to him.
“tell me, pretty girl, talk to me.” his soft manner and gentle touches only make it worse. you’re the first to break eye contact and you only lean to him and this time, you’re the one to kiss him.
neteyam doesn’t say anything and stay frozen, you need him just as much as he needs you but neteyam was surprised at your move.
neteyam inhaled the smallest gasp when you opened your small mouth a little wider for him to devour you, he remained still knowing himself that he’ll not stop if he gives in and kisses back
he’s trying not to lose his grip of pressing you against the wall and fucking his feelings into you.
you kissed him again and his breathing stopped, another kiss you delivered and this time he kissed back, striking the match of your pace and fully kissing you, pressing his lips with equal force.
you don’t deserve her, his own brain accused him
you’re just gonna hurt her more, neteyam was trying to block out the awful thoughts
the exchange of oxygen became difficult and you broke the kiss, taking deep breaths as your chest heaved up and down. neteyam took this opportunity and placed delicate kisses down to your throat, nudging your face to the side for more access
i never meant to hurt you, he wanted to say
i always loved you so much it was painful, neteyam thought
your silent moans are only pushing him further and further. clinging to him for affections and him doing the same so you won’t escape him was proof you wanted each other so bad.
his hand found your hips, gripping them tightly as he pulled both of you down to the grass. the way he pulls you to his strong thighs makes your breath quiver.
“neteyam,” you mewls when he pulls your lower abdomen to his, grinding you hard to his now growing bulge. your breath quickened when the increasing pressure of his shaft was on your center
was this really gonna happen?
neteyam’s mouth found yours again, licking your bottom lips and you granted his wish by opening your lips for him to devour you
he kissed you deeply until the need of breath won again eventually. foreheads pressed to one another, you two calmed yourself before you eventually locked eyes.
“i need you” your needy voice makes his cock stir.
neteyam tells you to hold onto him before bringing his hands to his shoulders and pulling the heaven material off of him. a relieved moan left his lips when he cracked his neck and looked back down at you.
you were much smaller than him and it was feeding his size kink well.
your heart starts to hammer when neteyam twists his arm and brings his braided queue in front of you, your eyes widen when you see his actions and look back at him, he was already staring at you and it was obvious he was scared and nervous just like you are.
the end of his queue moved and you gasped before speaking. “this means you’re forever with me, ‘teyam” you insecurely say and it pains him how broken you are about yourself.
he hums before looking straight into your eyes, “you are my forever.” he tells you and doesn't miss how you squirm under him.
your whole body is itchy with unbearable feelings and neteyam only waits for you.
it’s your turn to bring your braided queue to your front and see how the end of it twitches. neteyam was silenty asking you if you’re ready with his eyes and you only stare at his swollen scarlet lips and nod.
you’re both trying to breathe normal when you connect your queues and it was an audible gasp you both let out at the feeling.
everything was blurred except for both of you and how you saw each other.
you’re now feeling neteyam just like he’s feeling everything in you. and one thing you figured out from the connection was, this man is starving for you.
not only sexually but emotionally, you felt how he missed you and was hurting while neteyam on other hand felt exactly the same.
“princess,” he whimpered at the feeling and you closed your eyes shut. both of you tried to calm yourself.
once you’ve opened your eyes, neteyam was breathing shallowly and leaving no space between you as he tugged you close to him, “i need you close. i need you so close to me.” he grunts.
“i’m here,” you tell him and neteyam nods, “and i’m here, for you.”
your eyes are pleading him to make a move and make you feel full, neteyam doesn’t need tou to speak to understand when he’s literally connected to your brain.
a fleeting smile foresees his lips when you mewled as he grinds you down to him.
“neteyam, please.” yo breathed, tilting your head to the side, inviting him to mark you as his. “how do you want me?” neteyam voiced out in between marking you
“i don’t care…” you’re heaving, “just, i need you… please.”
you’re hurting and he wants to make you forget, remind you you’re his now and not gonna escape until death does you two apart. you’re calling for him, you’re telling him to mark you, fuck you or do anything with you.
you just want to be with him forever.
with his desires now uncontrolled, he brought his hands up from your hips to the pretty glowly leaves that are covering your chest and ripped them off away from you.
your fingers are sliding through his braids when he runs his hand on your bare back and grip you harder. neteyam sucked hard on your blue skin, making your eyes screw shut and breath hitch.
he’s gonna make you remember him when you’re trying to walk tomorrow with wobbly legs after he ruins you.
neteyam suddenly pushed you down to the grass and made you land on your back with a light tud, you begged for him and he’ll deliver it.
your legs are pushed wider, loincloth ripped away from you, he didn’t give you a second to feel shy as he went down on you.
long, pink flat tongue dragging all its way on your slit.
“neteyam!” you cried out when the pleasure striked. hypersensitivity winning on your heat, neteyam kept lapping on your arousal, hooking his arms under your soft plush thighs.
he pryed them open and tugged you to him way too close. he resumed his torture by delivering kitten licks on your clit and you keep crying out in pleasure. your hands sought to find his braids and pull hard on his locks, making him growl while eating you.
two fingers replaced his tongue, rubbing circularly has you on edges, you keep calling for him and neteyam only slides his other hand to your chest and removed on of your hand from his hair to intertwine his fingers with yours
he keeps massaging your spot and you cry out, two of his fingers sliding inside you, he curls them upward and your hips rise from the grass you’re laid.
“neteyam!” you yell.
you get louder when he ducks harder on your sensitive bud. your moans trembling and orgasm nearing, you feel your toes curl. when neteyam pushes his finger in and out of you while his lips im over your clit and lick it.
you’re almost there but the suddenly lose of his fingers and lips makes your eyes shoot open and you’re about to curse him but neteya had other plans.
“keep them open.” he demands.
neteyam gets on his knees, towering your body with his. he was fast to untie his own loincloth before removing them and you watch how his length sprang out, fully erect and big.
neteyam placed you a little higher to the ground and got between your thighs.
he didn’t make you wait long because he was now pushing himself inside you and taking each and every twist of your face, checking for any sign of pain since you’re physically more smaller and tighter than him.
neteyam groaned when he looked down.
he wasn’t even half way inside yet yoire squirming under him. “‘teyam” you whine when he keeps pushing and he only keeps brushing your hair out of your face. “too b-big.” you gasp.
“shh, almost there baby, i’m half way inside.” he soothes you.
patience running thin, neteyam places his hands on your hips and pulls you to meet his thrust. you scream but he was fast to shush you with a hard kiss on your lips.
“it’s okay, you’re doing good. taking me well baby.” he presses a sweet kiss on your forehead.
you grip on his arm, talking advantage of both of you being alone, you moan loud. “neteyam.” you moaned.
“say it again,” neteyam says, jaw clenched as he tries to help you adjust his size.
“neteyam,” you sigh.
amber eyes almost rolled into his head when he looked down at your, his mate’s state. “you’re so pretty.” he moans, “so pretty i’m losing it.” he was starting to slowly move his hips circular motion.
you only tighten your grip on his arm when you feel him move inside you, tip kissing the scarlet curve of your cervix. everything was perfect, so perfect to be true for him.
but then again, every time he opened his eyes and saw you under him, he knew it was real. he won you, and you won him.
“who’s fucking you so deep right now?”
he slowly dragged himself out of you only to plunge back. “say it, who’s fucking you deep right now?”
your legs tremble when you tell him, “you, you, you.”
“who’s making you feel good?” neteyam asks and you whine, why can’t he just shut up and fuck you?
“neteyam,” you bring your hand his hip, wanting him to go faster but he slaps your hand away. “answer me.” he roughly thrust and you gasp.
“who the fuck is making you feel good?”
“YOU!” you scream when he’s too deep and jolts your body up with every thrust he delivers.
“good girl.” your inside tightens.
“not that skxawng but me.” he says and your brows furrow in confusion before it hits you. he was jealous and talking about no’xus. “only me.”
he was now ramming to your heat harder and harder.
you feel your inside twist when you hear your mate whimper above you. the orgasm neteyam stopped you from having was returning and neteyam hisses when you tighten on his more than even.
“you’re gonna cum, huh?” he latched his rough thumb to down to your clit while he’s fucking his frustration into you and your body twitches, too much pleasure given.
your arousal milks neteyam’s cock and he snarls when your nectar and his precum decorated his cock. “ma ‘teyam” you mewl and cry when neteyam keeps fucking you, you wanted to tap out so bad but you’re good girl neteyam uses as his cocksleave
“for whom did you just cum for?” he was claiming you, no one except him makes you feel like this. “you!” you breath out.
just when you’re recovering from your state, neteyam suddenly pulls you up to him l by your waist and press you to him. “what’re you doing?” you ask when he grunts and pulls you both up from the ground while he’s still inside you.
making sure you’re not gonna fall, neteyam scoops you and places his hand under both of your knees before leaving you hanging on the air.
“netey— oh mother!” you scream when he pulls you down to his length fully, you’re dangling on his hand like a piece of an easy object and neteyam hold you and fucks you while you’re on the air.
“so good and easy for me,” he praises and you only moan, back arched and your breast pressed to his firm and strong chest. neteyam walks to the nearer tree and pins you against the wood before he’s jack-hammering you
kissing all spot with his girth.
“wait, neteyam, wait!” you whine but it was late when you explode down where you both are connected.
neteyam let’s a surprise chuckle out before looking down there then up to you before teasing you and placing a kiss on both of your reddened cheeks.
“you just squirted all over me, baby.”
you turn your face to the side, blushing and somehow surprised how he hasn’t came once. “i’m close,” he suddenly says, moans and grunts louder than ever. “so close, princess.” you pull him for a kiss and neteyam obliges.
“i love you, neteyam, i love you so much”
neteyam feels his emotions are winning over him when you say that and his eyes sting from the tears whelming up. “say that again, please?”
“i love you, ‘teyam” you smile and wipe the tears that were shed on his pretty skin.
“i love you more baby, i love you so much more.”
neteyam felt his lower abdomen contract and he moaned to your lips when you kiss him. “do you t-trust me?” he asks and you don’t fail to notice how his words hitch at the ‘trust’.
you don’t give a fuck how this is going or will turn out but what happened today proved you, you trust neteyam. “i do, i trust you.” you whimper, overly sensitive and not feeling your legs.
“fuck,” neteyam hisses when you say the words he was dearing to hear. “i love you, i love you, i love you.” he keeps saying with every thrust.
neteyam nudges your nose to the said that makes your whole face turn to the side, he then quickly hides into your neck and whines while gripping your hips so hard.
“princess.” he whines and you feel his thick ropes of seeds paint your gunmy walls. “i’m here,” you whisper to his flattened ear against his hair. “i’m here.” you keep telling him.
once he gains himself back, neteyam looks down to your lips before giving you a bold lick and you giggle. “neteyam ew!” you joke but deep down loving it.
“you clenching down there says the other though.” he teases and you slay his chest playfully. “fuck you!” you curse at him and gasp when he thrusts roughly.
“i think i already did that.” he proudly says before pressing his forehead against yours. “i’m sorry,” he says and the atmosphere instantly changes to a sad one. “i’m sorry i put you through so much…”
he opend his amber eyes he doesn’t remember closing and begs you. “but, please don’t leave. i’m nothing without you.”
your throat hurts when you swallow, too weak to voice out words to him but you manage few. “you’re not nothing, neteyam.” you tell him while you cup his cheek and make his look directly to your eyes and he shakes his head
“no, i can’t live without you, i’ll go insane.” you smile when he kisses your eyelids.
“my mom doesn’t know yet.” you watch him his tail wiggles and his ears perk at your words. “i’ll have to tell her i’m staying her– NETEYAM!” you laugh when he’s pulling you from the tree and hugging you close to him
you cling to him for your deal life when he twirls you both. “neteyam slow down!” you giggle at his excitement. he’s so baby-like na’vi. after you begging him several times, you watch him stop and let go if you gently
you feel the pad of your foot hit the grass and when neteyam lets you go by your own, you almost fall. “i’ve got you.” he tells you, catching you by your hips, a cocky grin on his face when he realizes you can’t feel your limbs.
“what do we do now?” you ask him, and watch him hum in thoughts before speaking.
“i don’t know, i just want to be with you now everything else can be solved later.” he starts to help you walk near the shores to eash your sweaty body.
“neteyam, this is serious.”
“i am serious.”
you just sigh, too tired to even think about arguing with him. you shiver when the cold water touches your skin as you make your way to the lake and neteyam follows you closely from behind.
everything was now how it’s supposed to be, neteyam can’t thank eywa and kiri for helping him with things. he’ll make sure to deal with his parents later because his main priority now is you.
only you.
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oh my gosh, we’re now done with the ‘i trusted you’ miniseries and i can’t express how i’m feeling rn, to be honest it’s weird to not write anything about them anymore :( but what can i say? everything is sorted out now!!
thank you for giving this series a love and support than i ever imagined, it received the most wholesome and funny reactions from you guys and i can’t wait to make more of a mini series of all of you!! the “i trusted you” series has no came to an end, thank you for loving it with your everything.
like and reblogs are very much appreciated! i love each and everyone of you, lmk in the comments of the smut was toe-curling enough like you guys wanted it to be?? mwah** micasa signing off from this series <3
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xmalereader · 4 months
Text
PS5 Peter Parker x Male Reader
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☆ — MASTERLIST — ☆
REQUEST: May I request a PS5 Peter Parker x Male Reader. The reader and Peter used to be a thing when they were in high school but, they didn't work due to Peter's distance and cold because of him being spiderman especially when aunt May died. Years later, they encountered each other, the reader achieved his dream of being a writer, he wrote a book about him and unexpectedly, Peter came to his convention. Peter has been following the reader ever since they broke up, he always checks up on what he was doing daily without him. He visited the reader's convention hoping for a closure and confessed that he still loves the reader.
TAG: @jihanbang
WC: 4.7K
CONTENT/WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, mentions of high school sweethearts, age gap ( one year difference ), Peter is angsty, reader is a writer, break ups and make ups, request made, insomniac Peter Parker, Spider-Man, some mature language, memories, childhood, high school memories. Peter POV, OOC Peter Parker.
NOTES: I may have gone a little overboard with this one, but I don’t care. I’ve actually been planning on writing an angsty Peter about ex lovers and all and when I saw your request I just had to write it right away. I was gonna keep it short but instead took it further almost 5k! (°▽°), but anyways I enjoyed writing this and put it as Peter perspective. I hope you enjoy this shot because I know I did!
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Peter stares at the poster board plastered on the front window of the cities famous bookstore that he’d been passing by on the way out of F.E.A.S.T. He wasn’t much of a reader when it came towards books of fantasy or romance and would much rather have his nose stuck between the pages of a physics and engineering book, but he’d for sure read this new one coming out soon. His eyes drift over to the authors picture, staring at the smiling man and taking in their appearance. How long has it been since he’s last seen that smile?
Peter remembers the first time he saw that smile.
He was sixteen years old and freshly new to high school near his aunt May’s place. He’d grown nervous and anxious at the idea of starting his first year of his last three years of education before collage could even start, he remembers arriving late on his first day, flustered and embarrassed when walking into his first period only to have everyone laugh at him when the teacher points out his tardiness to the whole class.
He was embarrassed, but also lucky enough to get a seat in the back of the classroom where no one would see him. The only difference was that the only spot avaliable was next to the schools president who was a year older than Peter and the only Junior in his first period class. Peter always steered away from class representatives having experience their egos back in middle school. The good thing was that he didn’t have to deal with it all day and only for the first hour of school.
Until he found out that the president was in all of his classes, meaning that he would be seeing the kid for the whole school year and being partnered with him in various projects together. When he was first partnered with the class president he figured that he would be the only one doing the project and getting them an easy A only to get the total opposite from him.
Peter was surprised when Y/n sat next to him during class, shoulders bumping as he opens their textbooks and began to plan out their project and what subject they should look into along with figuring out where to meet up and when to get started. Peter didn’t think that the class president would actually help him out or put the work into their project.
He figured that he was only being nice because he was the schools star until he started following Peter everywhere. He’d invite him to eat lunch together or even drag him to the library in order to get started on their project it wasn’t until Peter actually freaked out when Y/n followed him home, thinking that he was being stalked and gained the confidence to stick up to the president, glaring at the junior and asking him why he was following him and claiming him to be a stalker.
Only for Y/n to laugh at Peters accusations and quickly clear up the problem by telling him that he actually lived in the same street as him, pointing out to the house just a few blocks down from Peters aunts place. Lets just say that Peter was embarrassed that day.
It wasn’t until their time together became a routine.
Y/n would be waiting for Peter every morning in order to walk to school together, visiting his place and joining his and aunt Mays dinner nights and keeping them company. There time together almost everyday caused a strange feeling to bloom deep down inside of Peter, questioning himself as to why he was feeling this way whenever he was around Y/n.
Peter liked science and like a scientist he had to experiment.
So, the teen started the process. His mornings with Y/n on the way to school were normal the two always talking about class work that was left unfinished or Y/n telling Peter about the different ideas he had in mind for the students and making sure that the year ends perfectly for everyone. There lunch together was also normal with Peter sitting across from Y/n as he eats his chocolate pudding, staring at the other teen who also eats his lunch and passing Peter his own pudding cup.
Y/n knew that Peter liked the schools chocolate pudding and always gave him his each time they got it for lunch without even having to offer it and Peter would easily take it without hesitation and eat a spoonful while they continued to converse.
Peter didn’t get that familer feeling anymore and figured that he was possibly just sick that day. Only to get that same feeling again when their both sitting in his bedroom after finishing up their project with Y/n rambling to Peter about his writing and the amount of ideas he had in mind while showing his drafts, sitting so close to each other that they can feel each others breaths.
That’s when Peter discovered that he was crushing on the class president.
Which resulted into Peter screaming into his pillow that night after going to bed. He couldn’t be crushing on Y/n out of all people why him? Since his discovery he was much more careful around Y/n, cutting their time together, leaving earlier than him in the mornings to the point that he had to fake being sick in order to avoid seeing him.
It didn’t take long for Y/n to notice Peter avoiding him and he wasn’t one to let things drag on. The day that Peter arrived to school an hour early in order to avoid Y/n he didn’t expect himself to be grabbed by the back of his backpack and dragged inside the janitors closet. He panics at first until he’s face to face with Y/n, staring at him with wide eyes and noticed how angry he looked.
“You’re avoiding me.”
Peter chuckled nervously while shrugging. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Cut the crap, Peter.”
Peter can’t help but wince softly by his stern voice, avoiding eye contact when he feels his heart race, noticing how close Y/n is being while he continues to talk.
“You’re always leaving earlier than me in the mornings which is funny because your always waking up late and I have to be the one to wake you up—you stopped eating lunch with me and your always taking sick days which never happens because you hate missing school and you never get sick!” He continued to ramble on, losing Peter half way when he’s staring at him with admiration. The fact that Y/n not only noticed Peters avoidance but also pointed out the smallest things about him that not many people knew about, not even his aunt did.
“—and then you leave me behind after school when we always walk back home together and you don’t answer my texts! So, I figured that I’d corner you before school started in order to get answers.”
Peter is pulled from his thoughts and focused back on Y/n, staring at him as he stands before him with crossed arms and a frown on his face and a raised brow, waiting for an answer.
“It’s complicated.”
“Bullshit.”
Y/n was quick to respond, surprising Peter.
The two are staring each other down until Y/n sighs in defeat, frown softening while breaking contact and rubbing his temples. “Look, I won’t push you to tell me but can I least ask…did I do something to make you act this way?” His voice is filled with concern which only makes Peter quickly speak up. “No! No you didn’t do anything its…” He hesitates to speak, growing afraid and anxious by how Y/n will react when confessing his feelings.
He’s afraid to lose the person he really cares for, but he can’t always keep his feelings bottled up.
“Peter—?”
“I like you.”
Y/n’s breath hitched when hearing Peters confession, eyes full of surprise and with a gaped mouth. Before he could say anything Peter continues on. “I didn’t know until I started being around you more often and ever time I’m around you my hearts races and my stomach makes me feel like I want to throw up. I was avoiding you because I was afraid of how you’d react if you found out and I thought it would be better for me to keep my distance in hopes of getting rid of these feelings, but it only made me feel worse.”
Peter would think that Y/n would reject him and possibly leave him alone in the closet, ending their friendship after confessing. He didn’t think that he’d pulled into a kiss, warm hands cupping his cheeks and soft lips against his own. Peters eyes were wide in and face going red, he wasn’t only full of surprise but it was also his first kiss.
“You’re an idiot if you didn’t think i’d feel the same way.” Y/n says against Peters lips when breaking apart.
From that moment on the two started dating.
Peter expected the entire school to find out that their popular Vice president was dating him only to get nothing due to them keeping their relationship private. Y/n wanted to continue enjoying his time with Peter in school without being bombarded with questions by the various popular students who liked him. The two had their peace for the first year until graduation neared.
During Y/n’s last year of school he had told everyone that he wasn’t running for president for his Senior year and instead with the extra time he had he spent it at Peters place after school. The two would listen to each others talk passionately about what they loved with Peter talking fondly about his science projects and him listening to Y/n ramble on about his writing and his book ideas that he’s noted down for Peter to read and critique.
Everything was going well until it wasn’t.
Before Peter and Y/n officially started dating he focused on his duties as the cities hero, never having to worry about keeping it a secret from anyone else but his Aunt only to find out that he’d have to eventually tell Y/n about it which only freaked him out. He couldn’t allow him to know due to the fear of ruining their relationship and perhaps putting him in danger if things were to get bad as he continued to be the cities hero.
So, little by little Peter became distant towards Y/n.
Coming up with excuses as to why he didn’t want to go out to the point that arguments started over the smallest things. Peter wanted to keep Y/n close to him but the fear of being discovered as to why he’s always late to their small dates caused him to make the worst decision ever. It was the week before senior graduation that he broke up with Y/n, making up a lie that he didn’t want to hold him back when he’s in college and should have the freedom to be with other people who were far better than him.
Peter couldn’t even look him in the eyes when he utters those words and instead runs away like a coward.
That same night he had cried himself to sleep, feeling devastated and broken by his poor decision but also telling himself that it was for the best. Peter avoided Y/n on the days that he tried to talk to him, coming over to his aunts place to try and have a conversation only to be pushed away, keeping himself busy with his Spider-Man duties and spending more time in the city.
It wasn’t until after graduation that Y/n moves out of his parents place and got himself an apartment on the other side of the city, far away from Peter. He didn’t have to worry about going outside and bumping into his ex each time he checked the mail or took out the trash even though Peter wished to see him again he knew it’s was better to stay away.
Even after twelve years he couldn’t stop thinking about the man.
As the years went on he had found Y/n on social media, checking in on his profile every few weeks and taking notice of the various pictures that are posted along with interviews and conventions about his book that is to be released soon. Peter didn’t want to look like a stalker checking his ex’s socials, but can’t help himself and do it.
After returning back home from F.E.A.S.T he didn’t expect to find MJ working in the living room. Even though the two were close friends she had recently moved in with him as a way of saving some money and making living easier for the both of them.
“What are you doing?” Peter asked when enter the house and closing the door behind him while heading towards the kitchen to make himself something to eat while he listened to MJ type away on her computer. “Just on a new article.” She answers and looks up from her computer to see Peter searching the fridge. MJ took the opportunity to close her laptop and rush over to Peter with a smirk on his face.
“An article about what?” Peter closed the fridge after taking out the orange juice and slightly jolts by MJ’s sudden close appearance, startling him and sighing deeply.
“About Y/n.”
Peter froze at the familiar name.
Even though him and MJ had been friends for years he hadn’t told her or Harry about his past relationship with Y/n he never even mentioned dating someone when he was with them. He wasn’t ashamed he just didn’t want to bring up something he regrets ruining.
“The author?” He stutters out and focused back on pouring himself a drink and setting the carton of orange juice aside while he listened to MJ. “Yeah! I got to interview him about his book and he was very nice.” She went on about her time with Y/n. “Oh! He actually gave me a copy of his book before the release date and I took today to start reading it, I’m half way through but I really like it. I think its kind of cute that he turned his life story into a little fairy tale of his own.” She chuckled while approaching the living room where she picks up the book.
Peters eyes land on the cover page and watched her open the book to where she left off, his eyes averting as he focused on drinking his juice.
“Check this out! While I was reading it I noticed that the love interest has the same name as you.”
Peter chokes on his juice.
Spitting and coughing by the action.
“Are you okay?” MJ approached him, patting his back as she looks at him with worry only for Peter to reassure her that he’s fine and that he choked on his juice, claiming that he was drinking to face when in reality he was shocked by MJ’s words.
“Can I see?” He points towards the open book that she left open on the counter. “sure.” Her approval is all he needed for him to pick up the book and scan the pages, eyes moving back and forth as he read a few paragraphs and noticed how familiar the sounded to him. He doesn’t realize how engrossed he is that MJ clears her throat. “You can borrow it if you want, although you don’t look like the kind of guy who reads this sort of stuff.” She teased, earning a small laugh from Peter.
“You’d be surprised.” He gives off a faint smile, checks turning red as he closed the book. “Would it be alright for me to borrow it? I won’t move your bookmark.” He said.
MJ chuckled while nodding her head. “You can borrow it, just make sure to give it back once your done. I want to know what happens next.”
Peter promises MJ that he’ll return it once he’s finished.
He doesn’t read it right away and instead waits until sunset when he’s getting ready for bed, finally getting the peace and quiet that he needs before he takes the book from his nightstand and stares at the cover, growing nervous by the second until he finally decides to open the book.
Peter spends the entire night reading Y/n’s writing and realizing that his story is a reflection of their past relationship only with a few changes here and there, but it felt like Peter was watching a movie about his past and the things that both he and Y/n did together. He remembers the amount of drafts and ideas that Y/n wold show Peter and how he struggled to write a good story. He remembers Y/n telling him that he wanted a story that his readers would actually enjoy a story that will pull them in to the point where they are begging for more.
The story is written in Y/n’s perspective, obviously using a different name for the character he’s writing about. It’s the way that the words are perfectly written for him to understand and remember those days of them being together. It all came crawling back to him as he nears the end only to find out that the ending was different.
Instead of both characters breaking up the story continues on with Y/n’s perspective of his life in college, not giving much detail about what happened to the relationship and ending with him finding joy in writing. Which leaves Peter questioning himself, why?
When he completes the book he sets it aside sitting in silence and thinking about everything that happened between the two. He thinks about the first time they kisses, their first date, the first time that Y/n convinced Peter to sneak out to a party, the time that Y/n snuck inside Peters bedroom window as the two snuck around like teenagers would.
He also thinks about their break up and how scared he was to even look at Y/n when ending it between the two.
It was obvious that he still loved him and after twelve years he couldn’t let go.
Peter shouldn’t be here.
He shouldn’t be at this convention when he clearly told himself that he’d keep his distance and yet, here he stands in a line full of fans that came to see Y/n and get their books signed. His hand gripped a copy of the book, growing anxious each time the line got closer only to chicken out every time he gets close and head back to the end of the line.
His anxiety washed away every time he got to the back of the line and did this almost five times until the line was cut short when announced that this was Y/n’s hour before leaving, meaning that Peter couldn’t turn back nor could he avoid confrontation. His heart raced as the line moved closer, keeping his head down in hopes of avoiding getting attention. He found out that he was the last one in line which would make the whole situation less awkward between the two.
He wouldn’t be holding anyone back and could leave whenever he can without a problem.
That was until his turn came up.
After the young girl in front of him gets her book signed and goes along her day he noticed Y/n turning around in order to get another marker due to the last one running out of ink, not noticing Peter when he approached the table. He slides the book in front of Y/n and when he turns back around his focus is on the book first, smiling as he flips it open.
“Sorry about that my last maker ran out and had to get a new one! But, good thing your the last I’m in no rush!” He chuckled out, being friendly as always as he flips to the front page where he signs his name. “who am I signing this for?”
Peter hesitates.
“Peter Parker.”
He noticed Y/n freeze mid signature, looking up slowly to face Peter.
After twelve years Y/n hadn’t changed a bit, his hair was still the same and so was his sense of fashion, remembering when he was teased for wearing a coat the minute fall started even though it wasn’t even cold outside yet.
The two stare at each other in silence only for Peter to break the tension between them. “I liked your book.”
Y/n blinks at him, focusing back on the book and clearing his throat while he nods. “Thanks…” He finished signing the book and closed the cover, sliding the book back to Peter while avoiding eye contact.
Peter wanted to wince, but it was expected. He ended things terribly between them and didn’t blame Y/n for avoiding him. As he reached out to take the book back into his hand he lets his fingers trace over the binding the tension between them growing even more as they remain silent amongst themselves.
“Why did you end it like that?”
Peters question gets Y/n’s attention, finally looking at him with a confused look. “What?”
“The story, why did you end it like that?”
Y/n licks his lips. “Because I thought it fit well.”
“Even when you know what the ending was really like?”
Peter wasn’t trying to judge his writing or criticize the ending, he was simply confused as to why he ended it when him sounding like everything was fine when in reality the ending would have been different if he had added their break up into it.
Y/n doesn’t know what to say, remaining silent as he stands from his seat and tried to keep himself distracted by cleaning up his area and pouting things away. “Why does it matter?”
“Because I know what its really about.” Peter speaks up, taking a step forward and setting the book down on the table as he watched Y/n collect his things. “You’ve showed me your writing before and I know how much you like being honest in your stories—“
“Not everything has to be true.” Y/n blurts out getting Peters attention who gets cut off mid conversation while looking at the man that he knew loved to write stories with passion who’d quickly pull out his phone the minute an idea came to minute and would note it down for later.
“What do you mean?”
His question causes Y/n to really look at him. “Yes, the story is about us and yes I changed the ending, but that doesn’t mean that everything is true. If you want the truth then I am more than happy to tell you the truth.” He glares at Peter while shoving his jacket inside his bag. “The truth is that I was miserable in college, I hated that place and the people who were there with me. I didn’t care for anyone and I stopped writing for years because every time I sit down and pick up a pen and start writing I can’t help but think about you all the time and that stupid smile on your face. I found it hard to visit my family knowing that you lived just a few blocks down.”
Peters heart races when listening to his explanation.
“So I figured, why not write our story the way I always thought it would be like?”
By the time he was done talking he had finished getting his things, giving peter one last look before leaving, brushing past Peter and making his way towards the exit while Peter stood back and watched. He felt like he was losing him all over again telling himself that it wasn’t worth it and to move on like he has been in the last twelve years, but after reading his book after getting the truth as to why he wrote it he knows he can’t sit back this time and watch as the person he still loves slip away from him.
So, Peter is quick to react. He’s rushing after Y/n and running out of the bookstore, looking both ways until his eyes land on Y/n who walked further up ahead. He’s running after him, chasing down the man and grabbing him by the arm and he pulls him into an alley way, perhaps not the best place but the only one that can give them some privacy from the public eye.
“what are you—!?”
“I’m sorry.” Peter cuts in.
“Peter—“
“No, let me finish.” He cuts in again, this time letting go of Y/n’s arm. “I’m tired of running and I’m tired of letting the best thing get away from me. I know what I did to you was horrible and it was the most dick thing I could ever to do and yes, you should be mad at me and you should hate me for it, but I never stopped thinking about it. You have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out and apologize but every time I thought about it I couldn't help but think about how I ended things and I regret everything about it.”
Y/n sighs softly, eyes softening as he leans back against the wall. “Then answer me this, why did you end things?”
Peter froze, the familiar fear crawling back to him.
“Because I.,,” He couldn’t speak. “Because I was afraid to lose you if I told you the truth. I was afraid that you’d possibly stop liking me or end things with me first before anything else.” He was rambling at this point knowing that he wasn’t telling him everything and was still avoiding the truth.
“Peter,” Y/n’s voice is enough to bring him back. “The truth, now.” His tone grew stern, glaring this time.
Peter sighs in defeat. “I didn’t break up with you because of you going to college, I broke up with you because I was afraid of telling you that I’m Spider-Man…” He finally says the words, finally revealing the truth. He expects Y/n to laugh at him or perhaps walk away without a word only to hear the most jaw dropping thing ever.
“I knew.”
‘you knew—how?”
Y/n laughed at Peters shock. “Peter I was always paying attention. I knew that something wasn’t right when you grew distant with me and I didn’t realize until I found your suit hidden under your bed. I didn’t want to believe that my boyfriend was Spider-Man until I started piecing everything together.” He explains to Peter. “You were always late to our dates, ditching classes which you never do, I even noticed the amount of muscles you gained when we were in gym together.”
Peter blushed at the last statement not realizing how much Y/n stared at him each time he changed in front of him.
“If you knew why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to freak you out and instead I decided to wait until you were ready to tell me…and this is the results.” He points a finger between the two, realizing that this all caused them to break up even when he already knew. Peter felt even worse now that he knew the truth, wanting to punch himself and feeling ashamed of himself.
While Peter cursed at himself for everything, Y/n speaks up with a small smile on his face. “So you thought about me?” Peter blushed at his comment. “Yeah.” He answers honestly, staring at the man who chuckled. “You wrote a book about me.”
“Technically it wasn’t about you it was about us.”
“Still counts,”
Y/n can only laugh which makes Peter smile feeling like teenagers again. Their laughter and smiles bring them back memories of their time together and perhaps they can make new ones
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art · 2 years
Photo
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Creator Spotlight: @tinypaint
My name is Michelle Fus. I’m a Jewish, non-binary artist. I graduated from the School of Visual Arts for Computer Art and Animation in 2011. I’ve interned at Pixar and worked for a few years at Dreamworks Animation. Over the past ten years, I’ve self-published two books and have run three successful Kickstarters. I now work with Skybound (The Walking Dead, Invincible) in developing my webcomic, Ava’s Demon, as a physical book series for stores. I like hiking, cultivating plants, caring for my cats, and hanging out with my beautiful husband. You can read my webcomic at avasdemon.com.
Check out our interview with Michelle below!
How did you get your start in art, and more specifically, with Ava's Demon?
I’ve always been into art since I was very young. I started to gravitate towards it in first grade, where we were required to keep a daily journal. I found myself drawing in it more than actually keeping entries. From there, I got more and more interested in honing my skills as an artist. I started making my own comics for fun. I signed up for classes outside of school and put together a portfolio for the School of Visual Arts, where I majored in Computer Art and Animation. After getting my first job in the field, I realized that it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. After working my day job, I would come home and work towards building a career in comics for myself by creating and uploading my webcomic, Ava’s Demon.
What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?
Looking things up to learn more before I make art or write. For instance, how many livable planets are in a Galaxy? What does a black hole actually look like, and can it give off light? How long would it actually take to travel through space if you had the fastest ship possible? I look up all of these things and then ignore most of them for the sake of writing a fun story and making fun art.
From idea to final piece, how long does it take for you to create something?
It depends on the feeling I want to convey. Sometimes I’ll work for a whole week on a drawing and then delete it because I just don’t feel good about it. Other times I’ll make something in a day that I absolutely love from beginning to end. Some drawings I never delete nor finish, and instead, the files just kind of sit in a folder. The time it takes varies a lot.
Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
I really love good stories. So movies and books with captivating stories usually motivate and inspire me; stories that stay with you permanently, with twists and turns that you can’t stop thinking about. I also love finding characters whose struggles I can deeply relate to. I try to hold onto those feelings and emulate them through my art.
What is the hardest part of your process?
Actually finishing a drawing. The anxiety of it piles on me sometimes. I’ll work for a while on a drawing and constantly ask myself, “Is this drawing really finished? What terrible things about it am I not seeing?”. My desire to avoid making something terrible can sometimes put me in a mental prison where I keep chipping away at a drawing until I no longer know what I am looking at.
What is one interaction you had from a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?
In general, I like letting young artists in middle school, and high school know that I wasn’t very good at art at their age (I really wasn’t, I didn’t have the same resources they have now, and I didn’t have any perspective on what it takes to have a career in art, it’s a different world). Kids have come to me at conventions with their work for critique and advice, and I have to tell them that they’re already miles ahead of what I could make at their age. I have to tell them that it’s okay if they can’t make what all the professionals make online, to know that they have SO much time ahead of them to work at what they love. If you love making art, do it often, study art throughout history, and over time you’ll be able to create everything your heart desires.
What is something other people find hard to draw that you find enjoyable?
I have no idea. Sometimes it feels like drawing anything is suffering, even if you like what you’re making.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
@loish has been consistently inspiring me since my days in high school. Every new painting has so much grace and power and is so excellent to look at. Her skill in shape and form seems limitless, and I hope to someday achieve even a small fraction of her understanding of art. Seeing her new work on my timeline also makes my dopamine spike, so I’m always looking forward to updates from her.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Michelle! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @tinypaint and follow their webcomic, Ava’s Demon, over at avasdemon.com.
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lani-heart · 12 days
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|| series masterlist || next // previously ||
genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au p aring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> abuse, mention of sex / pregnancies, etc. words -> 2.3K
abstract -> Never owe people favors it could one day cost you your life...
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y/n’s perspective
“Taeyong, you can’t be serious,” I said as I was now in the office of the devil himself. And he's called to get his end in a favor. “You owe me,” he said and I scoffed. 
“You’re literally chasing in a favor from when I was in college,” I said and he only grinned. “You still owe me. Besides, it shouldn't be dangerous” and I scoffed at his reassurance. 
“It's just an interview. You’ll wear a wire, and all I need is evidence” he asked and I sighed. “Fine. But I won't risk my life for this, Taeyong” I said and he nodded. 
“I would never put you in a dangerous situation. This won’t hurt you”
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“Do you have to do this? Or at least take one of us with you?” Yeosang asked and I shook my head. “I have to repay him. He helped me a lot in college… besides he's trying to do a good thing” I explained and they sighed. “You’ll be okay right?” Wooyoung asked as he hugged me tightly. 
“Of course, he explained that I'll be going in for an interview and he’ll be listening in case. He will only interfere once he's gotten information though, so I won't be in danger. This won't affect us” I assured them and they nodded. 
“Be careful, circus hybrids are some of the most deprived and abused hybrids” San warned and I nodded. Over the years people stopped performing with animals and advanced to hybrids because of their ability to be trained and have a human way of thinking
Even though many people thought it was better it's not too well known that it's abusive to them just repeating history. “Be careful” they said as I was now on the elevator waving bye to the boys. 
They've really grown. 
I’ve officially had San and Wooyoung for five months. Whilst Yeosang joined us two months ago. It's actually been seven months since I originally adopted Son. I couldn’t be happier to have them by my side. 
Now I had to pay my debt to the devil named Taeyong. He truly does hold grudges… 
I walked into the VIP line where I showed my journalist ticket. I would be able to take pictures, and even conduct an interview. As I walked in I noticed the hybrids on display. 
There were two specifically at the entrance. They had bold big letters ‘MATZ’. They were meant to sit there in a glass box… it didn’t even have enough room to walk one step. In a smaller print were their names. 
Seinghwa was the one smiling and bowing, whilst Hongjoong only stared. He would be too far down, he could probably be dangerous. The ones around me started flashing lights at them… it clearly bothered them. I made sure to ask Taeyong to give me a camera without a flash. I took a photo of the surroundings. Another reason why he had me do this job and not Mark was because I have a hybrid specialist license to see and even handle red-coded hybrids with supervision. 
I knew how to analyze their behaviors. So when I saw Hongjoong, he had the potential to be a black code hybrid. 
“Hello! Welcome, it's an honor to see such esteemed guests !! I hope you may enjoy the show !--” as he spoke I saw his ringmaster look. He had jesters and clown costumed people handle hybrids. A few were assigned to cuff and ensure ‘MATZ’ did not act out.
They were tigers and therefore dangerous. 
“-- Of course, if you need help please ask one of my staff. I look forward to the interviews I’m scheduled for” he said as he left. As the staff looked at our tickets I was led to the back. I was given a pre / post-interview. 
“Hello, I’m going to be conducting an interview?” I said as I now saw the ringleader with the two tigers. They had chains connecting to their collar which looked like ones that were for black code hybrids. 
“Ah yes, may I ask which firm it is under?” he asked and I nodded. “It would be under the N.E.O. Firm” I stated and he nodded. 
“I see. How is Moon Taeil?” he asked and I smiled. “He’s actually on vacation at the moment. Last I heard he was in China visiting a few friends. '' I answered and he chuckled. 
“I know, your firm isn’t too keen on me,” he said and I noticed the curious eyes of the tigers. “Well, the firm has hybrid rights associated. It has been for years now” I answered and he nodded with calculating eyes. 
“That it is. Though I can assure you, our hybrids are treated like family” he said and I smiled softly as I wrote down notes of the two hybrids behind him. They were clearly agitated by his words, almost like he was lying.
“Well then. What are your questions?” he asked politely. “How many hybrids currently do you have registered?” I asked and he nodded. “Around fifty dear,” he said and I nodded. “And all are vaccinated with the current hybrid regulations, health up-to-date, VISA’s registered?” I asked and he answered yes. 
So he denied hybrid trafficking, and hybrid health neglect.
“May I ask you to talk about MATZ?'' I asked and he nodded. “These two were born into the circus. Their parents are a mix from our circus and a breeder which I know personally” he explained and I saw how Seonghwa kept on staring at my coat. His ears were twitching and I noticed Hongjoong’s glare at me….
“These two are such close friends we thought that a show would be most beneficial and fun for them,” he said while lifting his hands to pet their heads making them both clearly uncomfortable. Seonghwa stared wearily whilst Hongjoong looked like he could bite any minute.
“May I ask if I own hybrids?” He asked and I contemplated. “Decline anything in your personal life” I heard on the headpiece Taeyong gave me.
“No, I do not,” I said and he nodded. “Are you against the ownership?” He asked and I shook my head. “Not necessarily… it would take a lot of circumstances for me to adopt a hybrid,” I said and the ringmaster only nodded. 
“I can assure you every hybrid here is taken care of, and we’ll look after it, '' he said and I noticed Seonghwa's gaze. It wasn’t like Hongjoong’s glare; it was almost like he was pleading for help. 
“What’s the situation with heats?” I asked and he chuckled… “I don’t believe in heat suppressants. I let them go on with it with the other gender hybrid” he explained. 
Meaning it's how he has so many hybrids… he’s illegally breeding them. “Are you not worried about pregnancies?” I asked.
“No… some of our female hybrids are sterile so they can’t reproduce either way” he explained.
It wasn’t abuse per se to sterilize a hybrid… but it was being argued for hybrid rights.
“How long have you had this duo?” I asked curious. “Hmm, these two rascals? Well, they were born in 1998 and they’ve been with me since then.” He said and I nodded.
Would they speak out against their master? They would’ve seen everything… been through… everything.
“Sir?” I heard a clown asking for the attention of his boss. “Ah give me a moment my dear, why not have an exclusive interview with a MATZ performer. Hongjoong needs some touching up so Seonghwa treats her nicely '' be said and I knew the reason why they took the orange tiger away was because of his behavior.
“Be careful, an abuse hybrid can be triggered at any mention of abuse. Ask simple questions.” Taeyong said and before I could start I looked at him.
He stared at me with soft eyes and a smile... it shocked me how gentle his expression looked.
“I’m not fragile for you not to ask me,” he said and I felt my eyes widen. “The moment you walked in I heard that radio of yours… it kinda hurt at first” he confessed.
“I’m sorry,” I said but I couldn’t turn it off for my safety.
“It’s alright… you're not the first person to come here to infiltrate this place,” he said with his ears flattening on his head. He was losing hope for himself.
“How many hybrids are there?” I asked and he sighed. “I’ve lost count… it is over a hundred by now and more to come” he explained. “Oh, and he doesn’t register hybrids in case they die. It’s a miracle to even survive birth here… let alone survive being a baby here. We aren’t checked for until we’re cubs… after that, we’re never looked after again. The only thing he’ll ask to do is hygiene for his top performers” he explained.
“I’ve heard of your firm from the clowns… they hate you,” he said and I chuckled. “They said something about a girl writing about hybrid rights. Since then they’ve shut down several enterprises” he said and I smiled.
My reputation follows me.
“They might know who you are, be careful,” Taeyong said and Seonghwa only stared at me with twitching ears.
“You must have really good hearing to catch it,” I said and he smiled softly with his tail swishing behind him.
“Thanks… but it comes in handy with the staff,” he said and I sighed. 
“Do you have anything you want to tell me?” I asked and he swallowed down saliva showing how nervous he was.
“I’ll tell you everything if you manage to burn this place down,” he said and I sighed. “How about we make a promise?” I asked and he looked at me confused.
“I’ll shut this place down… but that’ll be the easy part. I’ll still need some more evidence after to concrete it” I asked and he nodded.
“Good luck”
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The show was like any other hybrid show. 
You could see the fear in hybrid's eyes when they made a mistake and had to cover it. Clowns and performers have the upper hand. 
MATZ had the opening… they did dangerous stunts. There were a few times they stumbled but otherwise did the best they could. The crowd loved them… I saw the contrast of the two… fear and anger.
Once the show was over I did a closing statement with the ringmaster and some staff who showed me around.
“And our opening act. Did you enjoy it?” they asked and I smiled when I saw Seonghwa and Hongjoong in a tiny cage. It had enough room for the both of them but it must've made them feel trapped.
The staff were talking to other reporters when I noticed the heavy glare Hingjoong was giving me.
Seonghwa got his attention and looked to be scolding him only for him to scoff. He looked over at me and bowed in an apology in which I shook my head. 
“I hope you enjoyed the show” 
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seonghwa’s pov
As the reporters left with the staff, Hongjoong glared at me. “Quit acting that way” I scolded and he scoffed
“She’s not the first person to come here asking for questions with a wire,” he said and I sighed.
“You heard what they said about that firm though—“ “She also said how she didn’t own any hybrids but owned three,” he said and I was confused. 
“She has hybrid scents reading out of her. You shouldn’t trust humans so easily… one day it’ll be you they’re disposing of” he said and I looked down.
“I… sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out that way. I’m just sick of this Seonghwa but this is our life and it’ll never change” he said and I chose not to believe that. 
I had hoped that she’d complete her promise.
“Hongjoong…. Sometimes you just have to have faith that people are still good. We don’t know how it is outside… maybe it’s different” I said and he sighed.
“But is it any better?” He asked and before I could respond I heard yelling.
“Woah!? What are you doing?!” I heard as I saw the ringmaster following… policemen? 
“This place is being temporarily shut down for inspection and so are the hybrids in this vicinity. If we find anyone trying to smuggle or hide evidence you’ll be under arrest for tampering with a crime scene” he said and I also noticed people with white lab coats. 
“Start arresting staff members and performers. Contain all the hybrids as well” he ordered and the last thing I saw was Hongjoong defying them whilst I felt a sharp pain in my neck.
Everything could only get better… right?
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Waking up in a white and cold room was not what I expected…
“White tiger hybrid seems to be malnourished, untreated second-degree burns, underweight, untreated cuts, and dehydrated. Seems to be approximately 25 years old and unclassified code due to tranquilizer” I heard… Was that a doctor?
I tried sitting up but my wrists were bound. 
“You’re awake? Are you going to comply?” he asked me and I noticed how close he was. He seemed to purposely try to annoy me… “Classified as yellow. He’s one of the tame ones” he said into the radio. Classifications? I knew very little of that… but yellow wasn’t bad?
“The orange tiger is awake, and is showing a lot of aggression” I heard on his radio… Hongjoong? “Tranquilize him,” the doctor said and I struggled against the constraints. “He’s your partner, right? They won’t hurt him, but he will hurt us… he’s in good hands'' he said and I scoffed. Like I’d trust humans now after… 
“What happened to the reporter?” I asked and he looked at me confused. “She promised to help me… what did she do?” I asked and he hummed. “She’ll be conducting interviews this following week. So be on your best behavior or you’ll end up in a higher code” he said as he left the room. 
She actually… helped us?
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@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern
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please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3
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roseykat · 6 months
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TITLE: Table Manners and Bible Studies
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PAIRING: Jeongin x reader
SUMMARY: Jeongin, a churchgoer who is also a very sexual person, likes to immerse both you and himself in the realm of sensory play, among other things as well.
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.
TAGS: themes of BDSM centred around sensory play, soft dom Jeongin, explicit language, use of ice cubes, body-safe hot candle wax, a feather, blindfold, safe and consensual play, nipple stimulated orgasm, mentions of religion (no specific religion is being mentioned here but the concept is that Jeongin is religious for the purposes of this work).
MASTERLIST
He goes to church. That’s all you know about one of the guys in your class who always dresses well, dons cute glasses and seems well put together. He’s an intriguing one among the masses of students that attend and even with the volume of people, he still stood out to you even if he was quiet.
However, it was never in your interest to approach a guy like him. He and his four friends, all from the same church, seemed relatively lovely and all kept to themselves. From your perspective, it appeared as if two of the girls really liked him. If they did, you don’t blame them. Whoever he was seemed to be sweet.
“Still eyeing him up?” Your friend Minho pokes you in the ribs with his finger, lulling you out of your thoughts.
“I’m not eyeing him up,” you snap defensively, averting your stare away from his group to refocus on your lunch with him.
“Just say he’s hot,” he encourages. “If I’m willing to admit it, then you should.”
“You think he’s hot?” 
“And you don’t?” He questions back, almost offended that you didn’t assume otherwise. 
“I suppose that means something coming from a whore such as yourself,” you remember with a sigh. 
Minho nods in agreement with your statement, “and as a whore, I’m telling you he’s hot. So why not go for him?” 
“That’s not who I want though,” you say to him.
A cackle nearly breaks out from his mouth, “that’s right. So how is the hunt for one of those dom boyfriends going anyway? Isn’t that the type you’re looking for?”
“He doesn’t have to be, but it would help significantly,” you answer truthfully. “I just think that would be the best way to get my foot in the door for getting into BDSM.”
“I seriously don’t know where you got that idea from, but you don’t need to go searching for a boyfriend who’s into BDSM to get into it,” Minho truthfully informs you. “There are sites and apps where you can connect to doms and go from there. But if you do, don’t just jump at the first dom that you see. Always do background checks.”
You sometimes forget that Minho himself is in the BDSM scene. He has been for a while and for as long as you’ve known him, you’ve always been interested in what he does. From his stories, they sound exciting and riveting; exactly the kind of thing you want to try out to make your sexual life a little more lively. 
“I know that,” you whine. “If not that, then I don’t really know where to begin.” 
“Well, we all start somewhere,” he says with a hint of optimism. “Since you’re interested still, there’s a BDSM convention at the end of this week. If you want to get your foot in the door with it, I reckon you should go.”
“A convention?” You ask with intruigue. “What do they host there?”
“They’re there to promote safe BDSM to people and have a variety of pop up stores on site that sell anything related to it,” he answers. “I’m supposed to be going but, I’ve got something else on at the same time. In fact you can have my concession.”
“Are you sure?” You ask.
“Yeah, it’s already printed off,” he says. “I’ll give it to you on Thursday.”
It was a good idea at first, but come the day of the event, your nerves were shot. It was your first time being surrounded by anything like this. Particularly by yourself. It was a bit stereotypical to assume that the convention was run something along the lines of seeing naked people tied up, some in cages, or live scenes taking place in front of crowds. 
That wasn’t the case at all. It was almost like a niche grocery store where the locals gather to buy homegrown fruit and veggies. Some part of that concept helped calm a few nerves.
Once you receive your concession band, you start around the front area of the pop-up stores. People were lining up to see demonstrations of shibari methods and most were interested in buying a series of items for the bedroom. 
They were all displayed like sea creatures at a fish market, waiting to be bought. From cattail butt plugs, clover nipple clamps, juicy erotica novels - one of which you picked up - lengths of different coloured ropes, wooden floggers, riding crops, and so much more. 
Away from all the chaos at the stalls was an area called BDSMC; BDSM and coffee. It was a way to set people up with potential doms and or subs. Each individual looking for a buddy would order a coffee or drink with a green cup that had either letter on it; D for dom or S for sub. Red cups were exclusively 'do not approach' because the person either didn’t want to engage or they may already have a partner and are just there for some good coffee. 
It was an awesome set-up and had you thinking about heading over to maybe find someone who would be interested. However, you stored away that thought as you continued to have a look around. 
One thing that was painfully obvious to you was the fact that people weren’t there by themselves. They were either there with a group or their partner, making you feel even more out of place and slightly overwhelmed. But you weren’t going to tap out early. Minho gave you his ticket not only because he couldn’t attend, but also because he wants you to experience what you’re looking for, for yourself.
So you scour out the stores under the guise of your own interest, coming across a few which struck that interest. There was one store tailored specifically to pain play, a heavy aspect of BDSM. Another stall had all to do with sexual health, consent and BDSM - not necessarily selling anything, but just there to answer any questions that people may have. 
One place had caught you attention, a store all to do with sensory play and deprivation - a term in which you’ve came across within the realm of research into BDSM.
In nicely orgasnised lines were individual packets of silk blindfolds in a variety of different colours. There were boxes of body safe candles, most likely for temperature play, noise cancelling headphones, sleek metal handcuffs, and other items that had you wondering how they work. 
“Hello, anything I can help you with or just browsing today?” One of the shop owners approaches you from behind the table. 
“Oh, just browsing thank you,” you reply back to her.
“No worries, let me know if you need anything,” she smiles back at you and walks down to the other end of the long table. 
“Hello, do you have any of these in black?” A person beside you asks to another store keeper. 
Out of sheer interest, you briefly look up at the person just as an unspoken social acknowledgement while the owner tends to their new customer. But to your absolute shock and surprise, the person enquiring happened to be someone very familiar.
The jet black hair, distinct glasses, the trendy casual outfit...
…there was no way.
“We should do. I’ll have a look around in some of our storage containers just behind the back for you,” she says helpfully. 
“Thank you,” the customer responds. 
It was definitely him, and whilst your eyes had been glued to his presence for such a long time, his gaze catches onto it. 
“Hey,” he spoke in a mousey volume.
You stall in your step a bit just as you were about to walk away to remain unknown, but the angelic purity in the tone of his voice lulled you back. You’d feel bad if you didn’t greet him too. 
“Hey,” you say to him awkwardly. “How are you?”
“I’m good thank you, yourself?” He asks back. 
“Yeah, good thanks. I know you, sort of. Aren’t you in my class?” 
It was a useless question to ask considering you’ve spent too many times looking at him to know that it’s definitely him. That distinct soft expression couldn’t pass you by. The only thing different is that he wasn't swarmed by his usual collective of friends.
A small smile spreads on his face, “yeah. I’ve seen you here and there. You usually sit close to the front.” 
“That’s right,” you nod, bewildered that he knows who you are and where you sit during class. “So…what brings you…here of all places?”
Jeongin shrugs with a smile, “interest. You?”
You nod, “also interest.”
The lady pops back from behind the screen with some items, “you might be out of luck. We’ve only got grey and white left but there’s a couples' one for you and your partner here.”
Your mind stutters upon hearing those words come out of the lady’s mouth, “oh he’s not - we’re not-“
“What about any more of these? Preferably in black as well?” Jeongin picks up a baby pink coloured blindfold and presents it to the woman. He seemed to have saved that awkward statement yet wasn’t entirely effected by it as you were.
“I’ll have a look around the back again and see if we’ve got anything,” she says, quickly rushing off.
“Sorry about that,” he says apologetically to her. 
He was as nice as he looked. Almost like a gentle, placid puppy which makes you wonder, how is someone like him at one of these conventions. Specifically, someone who is quite religious. You didn’t want to judge right away, but that was the preface of your observation.
“I take it you’ve never been to one of these before,” he points out as he waits. 
Your shoulders relax defeatedly, someone had finally ripped down your facade, “can you tell?”
“Just a little bit,” he grins. “But props to you for coming here on your own by the looks of it.”
“A friend of mine recommended I go so I thought I should,” you respond, eyeing up some of the other products.
He nods engagingly, “really? Why did they recommend it to you if you don’t mind me asking?” 
“Just…looking to get into BDSM,” you reply honestly, feeling comfortable enough to talk to him about this. Plus there was no point in hiding your intentions given where you are now. “He said I should go to one of these events, check out the stores, and see how some of this stuff works I suppose.” 
The lady returns from the back with exactly what he requested while also picking up a few extra things before paying for the lot. Your attention fixates on those items, wondering who he uses them on; a pyrex glass dildo, one tube of strawberries and cream flavoured lube, and also a ball gag
Whoever his partner is must be lucky. 
The shopkeeper bags all of the items he paid for in a discrete bag before he thanks her.
“That's a good step, but if you’re a beginner, it’d be best for you to start out small,” he advises just an idea suddenly strikes him. He wonders for a second about whether or not it’s appropriate to ask, but he considers your circumstances and why you’re even here. 
“I figured that. No point in me diving right into the deep end when I can’t swim yet,” you agree. 
“You know, because we’re both here, we should get together sometime so we can talk about these kinds of things. I could show you how all of these work too if you want,” he pitches his suggestion to you, holding up the bag of things that he just purchased. 
You stare up at him, utterly bewildered, “wait, are you serious?”
“Only if you are, otherwise-“
“No!” You cut him off. “I mean, yes - yes I am serious. It’s just, I was shocked that you even asked me.”
He stifles a chuckle as a reaction to you being so oddly yet unforceably cute, “alright then. I’ll give you my number. I’m Jeongin by the way.”
“Jeongin, okay. I’m Y/N.”
It was nice to finally put a name to a handsome face. Jeongin, who was as unsuspecting as the come, had exchanged numbers with you before you both departed. He left you wondering so much more about his personality and particularly his interests with BDSM. It even made you forget to text Minho to tell him how well the convention went.
Right before you decided that you were going to ring him, a text came through to you from Jeongin. 
To you from Jeongin: ‘Hey Y/N, it’s Jeongin. It was nice meeting you the other day. I was wondering if you wanted to catch up over coffee to talk and get to know each other more. If so, when are you free?’
You to Jeongin: ‘Hey Jeongin, it was nice meeting you as well. I’m free in the afternoons throughout the week. We could go for coffee on campus after class if it’s not too far?’
Jeongin to You: ‘Nope, that’s perfect. Shall we say Monday straight after? We can head there together.’
You to Jeongin: ‘Sounds good to me. See you then.’
Jeongin to You: ‘Yup! :)’
With those responses from him in mind, it made looking forward to Monday a little more palatable. Usually, it’s hectic with quizzes, tonnes of readings, and a boring two hour lecture. Meeting up with Jeongin meant you had something to look forward to after class. 
Just as the lecture comes to an end, you look back to the middle row of seats in the centre section of the room as you pack up your things and see Jeongin waving out to you. You wave back, acknowledging that you’ve seen him and watch him say bye to his friends before he makes his way down to you. A couple of them seemed rather puzzled that he was leaving them, but nonetheless, they let him be. 
“Hey Y/N,” he says to you, walking down the steps. “What did you think of that?”
“Boring as per,” you groan. “It made me want to sleep.”
Jeongin laughed, “shall we go before you fall asleep then?”
The pair of you exited the theatre together and headed to one of the nearby cafes on campus. Normally teeming with hungry students, the venue wasn’t as packed as it usually is from the help of classes that run through into lunch. It meant that you and Jeongin were able to receive your drinks relatively quickly in order to sit down and start talking.
“How was your weekend?” He asks you.
You finish bringing your drink down from your lips, “not as exciting as I wished it had been. Mainly just catching up on some of the online work that we were meant to do.”
Jeongin is shaking his head but silently agreeing with you, “I don’t know why they bother giving us tasks to do online.”
“I suppose to make us suffer even more,” you guess. 
“I think you might be right, and since it’s worth credit, we have no choice,” he snickers. “But anyway, on a completely different note, what did you think of your first BDSM event?” 
“Not as daunting as I was expecting it to be,” you answer honestly. “It was pretty pleasant, to say the least, and the people I met were really nice.”
“That’s good to know,” Jeongin nods. “Usually I hear of beginners who get too overwhelmed and never come back. It’s a shame really because they only see the tip of the iceberg.”
“Do you normally attend those events?” You ask him, still immensely intrigued that he even went in the first place. 
“Only when I can,” he responds. “Most of the time, classes and other stuff get in the way, but I’ve found a balance now. What made you want to get into BDSM anyway?”
“A friend of mine is well into that space and I always hear him talking about it. Since then it’s always interested me, so I started doing some research about it,” you answer. “It was the same person who told me to go to that event.”
“Smart choice for doing your research, not many people do and just head straight into something they don’t know,” Jeongin mentally applauds you. “It can turn out to be a really good or really terrible experience for beginners.”
“Yeah, he warned me about that,” you chuckle, just thinking of Minho and what he’s said to you in the past. “What about you? How did you get into BDSM? Sounds like you’re already in that space.”
“I am. I’ve been in it for four years, since the start of my degree,” Jeongin confirms adjusting his black glasses. “I got into it just by interest as well - similar to you, except, I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing someone who was already part of this space so some things I had to learn the hard way.” 
“Then I take it that you’re relatively experienced then,” you respond, inferring an assumption already.
Jeongin smiles shyly, almost like he’s somewhat embarrassed by your comment, “you could say that. Is it right to assume that you’re looking for someone to do scenes with?”
You give a nod, “yes. Just…didn’t know who with.”
“That fits then; given that I have some experience and you haven’t yet, then maybe we do a trial, see if we click, those sorts of aspects. What do you think about that?” He asks you. 
An excitement thumps against your chest, “I think that’s a good idea.”
“Yeah?” He replies with optimism. “Then if it’s okay with you, do you maybe want to talk about some of your kinks and things that you don’t like and organise a time and place for our first scene?” 
“I’d love to.” 
Both you and Jeongin brought a lot of ideas to the table, conducting a healthy discussion about what you’re both into and not. Although he openly stated to you that he mainly presents himself as a dom, he was open to switching too. However, for the purpose of getting you into the swing of BDSM, it would be best for him to take the reins.
So with a little more talking, you both came up with a set date and time for the first scene which was to be at Jeongin’s place; not too far from campus. All the information and the logistics leading up to the scene were slightly nerve-wracking but didn’t match your level of excitement. 
Considering your inexperience with BDSM, Jeongin had to factor in what would be the best method of easing you into things. Sensory play was the one thing that came to mind. It’s not too extreme, can involve some restraints, and can act as a good stepping stone for a BDSM beginner. 
“It’s a good way to start off,” Jeongin said to you back at the cafe. “If it’s just sensory play only, people don’t usually climax from it. But if there’s some sort of sexual penetration that’s involved, then most likely. I don’t do the latter.”
“Still sounds like fun,” you replied.
“It is. I can deprive you of one or more of your senses which will only enhance the other.”
His way of describing the basics of sensory play could’ve easily put you to sleep – not because it was boring, but because his voice was so silky smooth that you could listen to it all day. The fact that he has so much knowledge about a subject was strangely erotic.
With your mind cleared in preparation for the scene, Jeongin flicks you a text an hour beforehand to see if you are still keen. He definitely knows that you are, but it’s also to cover his end as a dom to ensure that you know that you can pull out of the scene before it starts. 
To You from Jeongin: Hey Y/N, still on for tonight? 
From you to Jeongin: ‘Hey! Absolutely, I’ll text you when I’m at yours?’
To You from Jeongin: ‘I’ll look forward to it.’
Even if you didn’t want to go through with it tonight, Jeongin would be okay with that. For whatever reason why you would say no, he’s happy that you would feel safe to refuse. But never in your wildest dreams would you ever think of refusing, because as soon as it was time to leave, there was no doubt in your mind that you would turn back.
You had showered and packed a bag with a towel, extra clothes in case, a water bottle, and some snacks. If anyone were to come up to you and look into your duffle, their only thought would be that you’re heading to a gym nearby, not heading to your first BDSM scene. It was a nice little secret to have. 
As you arrive on the street of Jeongin’s apartment, you text him to say that you’re nearly there and knock on the door once you’ve officially made it.
“Hey,” he greets with his smiley usual self. “Come in.”
“Hey,” you respond, looking around as you step in. 
It was rather spacious which is usually not generous with student accommodation. Normally it’s one room cramped with a desk, chair, inadequate storage underneath the single bed and a community bathroom down the hall. By the looks of it, Jeongin had all this space to himself including a small bathroom and mini kitchenette area. 
“Wow, you got lucky with student housing around here.”
“Can’t stress the word ‘lucky’ enough,” Jeongin emphasises, closing the door behind you as you take your shoes off. “Took me about four months last year just to apply for a viewing. But after living in shared accommodation on campus, I needed my own space.”
“Fair enough,” you say. “Some student spaces are lucky enough to have wallpaper. But anyway.”
“Would you like something to eat or drink?” He offers. “I bought food earlier on.”
“No it’s okay thank you, I made sure to have some water and food before the scene,” you politely refuse. 
“Okay, good,” Jeongin nods, impressed even. Those who forget to eat before a scene will often find that their energy depletes faster, rendering them unable to continue or even worse, it could go hand in hand with a sub drop. “Then in that case, shall we get started?”
Your stomach flips excitedly, “sounds good to me.”
Jeongin does the honours of leading you to his bedroom. It’s adorned with a minimalistic aesthetic and beautiful muted tones. There’s a decent queen-sized bed centred back against the wall. Laid on top of its surface is a black cardboard box and a set of black restraints right beside it in contrast with the white fitted duvet. Flickering on the bedside table burned a red candle.
From what you could gather, it was most likely for wax play, but it smelt amazing. Almost a woody with a tinge of floral essence to it that filled his room.
“We can start the scene by taking your clothes off and I’ll get these restraints ready, okay?” Jeongin suggests to you. 
“Okay.” 
He steps over towards the mattress, picking up the long restraints. Only two – one for each of your wrists that he was going to link to the bedposts. He secures the ends of them in place while you strip yourself down to your bra and underwear. You fold them over your arms as Jeongin returns to carefully take them from you and places them on his chair in the corner of the room. 
He comes back once he’s done, eyeing up your body. It’s not that he meant to gawk or observe you per se, but he was in fact silently appreciating your body. He could only just hide the fact that he’s very taken with how you look and the way you pull off a simple black bra and underwear set. 
It wasn’t lingerie, but they were intricated pieces. Jeongin seems to be aware of that when you feel him delicately glide his fingertips down the straps of your bra from behind while you stare into his mirror on the wall. 
“This is is pretty,” he says. 
You swallow quietly, content with his observation, “yeah?” 
“Yes, but unfortunately I need it off for this scene. Is that okay with you?” He asks. 
“That’s okay,” you reply clearly.
“Okay then, what’s your colour?”
“Green.” 
With your given consent in mind, Jeongin works behind your back to unclasp your bra and places it with the rest of your clothes. It’s not an awkward moment for either of you given that it was nothing in comparison to the things he had planned for you. 
“Beautiful,” he comments, his eyes lingering for a few seconds too long in the mirror. Your cheeks instantly become hotter, hoping Jeongin can just hurry up and put the blindfold over your eyes so you don’t have to look at him. “Let’s move to the bed. I’ll get you to lie down so I can put the restraints on your wrists.” 
On his instruction, you make your way over to his bed after he moves the black box to the nightstand. You sit down on the mattress edge and prop your legs up until you’re able to lie down flat with your head on his pillow.
Jeongin slightly manoeuvres each of your arms before strapping your wrists into the restraints and for a couple of seconds there, you’re in your own mind. It still baffles you that you struck gold with Jeongin by absolute chance. Not to mention he’s the same person who attends church and goes to bible studies and is the same person who’s tying you to his bed. 
“Not too tight?” He checks in with you. 
“Nope, that’s fine,” you reply. 
Jeongin takes the lid off of the box on the side and takes out the silk black blindfold he purchased from the convention the other day, “okay, I’m going to place the blindfold over your eyes now.”
You nod as total darkness shields you from the predictable. Now you can’t see what’s coming next. The excitement and anticipation hinder all nervousness you’ve been feeling while Jeongin takes a moment to appreciate the state that you’re in. It’s not often for him to be so taken with a person to the point where he just about forgets what he’s doing.
Only then does he realise that he’s in a scene and needs to refocus. 
Once he’s content with everything, he decides to move on, “now we can start.” 
He goes back to the box, careful not to make too much sound so that you can’t grasp a hint of what might be inside. The first item he picks up is a long, spindly black feather. It’s simple yet very effective, responsible for creating that ticklish sensation when he dances it lightly and softly along your skin. On its first contact, your nerves try to anticipate where Jeongin will take the feather next, but their guesses come up short when he uses it somewhere else. 
The feather glides from the base of your throat, downwards and in between your tits. Jeongin then uses it to delicately lick over your nipple, making you keen slightly to one side. You can’t help but suppress a moan by biting down on your lip. It shouldn’t feel this good too early, but you can’t help your body’s natural reaction to the feather that leaves tingles in your muscles throughout its wake. 
The smile on Jeongin’s face indicates that he’s enjoying watching you squirm and quietly whimper, still teasing you with the black plume. He drags it from the tips of your toes, up your shin, and right over your clothed pussy, making you press your head back into the pillow. 
Jeongin makes a mental note of that reaction and smirks. To him, those small effects of what he’s doing to your body with only a feather, make him wonder how sensitive you really are. But it’s not his whole desire to spend too much time with it and proceeds to move on to something else; the hot wax. 
After placing the previous item in the box, Jeongin swaps it for the candle. The catcher has collected a substantial amount of wax at the bottom which will allow him to pour the majority of it out before it starts to solidify. But Jeongin stalls for a moment as he tries to make up his mind on where to pour first. 
In his opinion, he wants to cover all the sensitive parts that you’ll let him. Your tits, collarbone, throat, tummy, wherever. Eventually, however, he knows he’ll get to those places. So he starts with your tummy, watching the hot wax drip and dribble onto your skin, hardening as it makes contact. 
A gasp is forced out of your mouth, “s-shit-“
“Too hot?” Jeongin asks you, pulling back the candle before he goes to pour again. 
“N-No,” you shake your head fervently. “J-Just wasn’t expecting-"
Jeongin pours a steady line of wax in between your tits, prying your mouth open for slightly quiet yet strained moans to roll from the base of your throat.
He expects you to have some sort of reaction to the hot wax, but not like this. Usually, people try to escape from the head, some swear like sailors, and others might scream or yelp. You on the other hand…it makes him wonder if you’re a masochist with the way you’re moaning from the slight pain. 
Nonetheless, he drips more wax, this time down your abdomen, forcing you to purse your lips to suppress any sound.
Despite the temperature of the thick content, your brain, for whatever reason, deduces it as a good sensation rather than a bad one. It does burn a bit, but not to the point where you feel like you need to call for a break. That feeling when it settles into the skin where it’s magnificent and warm is too good to pass up, allowing you to keep going.
With the session barely in full swing, you’re trying to keep it together for Jeongin so that hopefully he’d invite you back for another. Yet, within the second you even start thinking about that, Jeongin pours some of the wax, just about the line of your underwear, making you tug hard on the restraints. 
“Fuck – oh my god,” you groan, feeling the heat emulsify within your lower half. It spreads beautifully, just where you want it. “That feels…” 
“Good?” Jeongin asks, making your back arch slightly when he drips more wax from your sternum to just above your belly button. There are some areas that he won’t cover with the wax since he wants enough sensitive space for the next part of the scene. 
“Y-Yes.” 
Since Jeongin has some verbal confirmation from you that the heat feels good, his indication of pinning you for being a masochist grows stronger. It’s not abnormal, but it’s rare. Not everyone is a fan of pain and some even find it confusing when it’s applied in the bedroom.
That’s not Jeongin though. He appreciates pain and pleasure in a controlled environment. In saying that, he cannot make a full observation of whether or not you’re a full-blown masochist. He’d need to actually ask you first and run other ‘tests’ to achieve a result. 
In light of the pain, Jeongin makes use of the little wax he has left, steadily pouring it onto the underside of your tits – close to where you want it. When there’s no content left at the bottom of the catcher, he moves on once more. This time, to a completely opposite temperature. 
He sets the candle back down on the nightstand, leaving it to continue burning so that the aroma fills the room rather than smoke if he were to blow it out. You then hear his footsteps shuffling around to the other side of the bed, making you wonder what it is that he’s doing. But despite tuning your ears into his every movement, Jeongin makes sure to be as careful as he can to ensure that you don’t know what’s coming next. 
The one thing that you hadn’t noticed in his room the second you walked in was a mini tin bucket of ice cubes on the other side of his bed. He gave away zero hints towards his next move, so when he quietly picked up one of the cubes and immediately placed it just above your tits, you suck in a huge gasp. 
“Geez, I wasn’t ready,” you sigh out some of the anticipation that’s building inside of you. 
Jeongin smiles, “good.” 
The areas of your body that are free from the hardened wax allow him to glide the ice cube gently over your skin. The temperature in comparison to the wax is electrifying, more so than what you ever would have anticipated – had you known it was coming. 
Jeongin watches the ice cubes melt from your body heat, seeing the droplets of water pool for a second and run down your sides. When the first cube has melted down completely, Jeongin picks up another. This time, he drags it slowly above the band of your underwear again. 
“Mm! Fuck…” you exclaim loudly, trying to conduct the sensation when it only just builds. “S-Sorry.” 
“You’re okay,” Jeongin reassures you. 
He then brings the ice cube up to one of your nipples, causing you to arch your back and tug on the restraints simultaneously as a sharp gasp leaves your mouth. The corners of Jeongin’s mouth perk up at your reaction. He doesn’t want to be too predictable and switch to your other nipple. Instead, he manages to pick up another ice cube and uses it on your other nipple, dancing it around your sensitive buds that have begun to stiffen and perk up.
Your poor brain is confused by the stimulation. It’s not happening between your legs but you can feel it from your chest. It feels weird not to be contracting around anything, which only makes you wish you were. Nonetheless, it’s still valid stimulation that you feel building and at first, you’re not sure if it’s an orgasm that’s forming or if it just feels good. 
Regardless of the matter, you can’t help it. It’s patterning the pleasure for you to experience without you having any say in it whatsoever. Your mind is muddled with what to say – how to express how you feel or what’s happening to your body. 
Jeongin has some idea of it now that he’s been listening to you panting and watching you writhe on his bed just from a couple of ice cubes. However, he wants to see how this plays out. 
“J-Jeongin,” you mumble, sucking in small breaths of air. “I’m…”
His ears spring up at the sound of his name, but he refrains from saying anything at all. Instead, he picks up another ice cube, allowing the one in his left hand to melt away before applying the fresh one. The chilly sensation replenishes but it doesn’t stop that sensation that you can feel in your tits all the way through to your pussy. Even though it feels similar to an orgasm, it triggers zero verbal response when it decides to hit you out of nowhere. 
Jeongin sees your mouth part, your legs bracketing together like they’re trying to find something to clamp around. All the while, he doesn’t stop stimulating your nipples with the cubes until your back is flat on his bed again. He had to see it through to the end. 
Breathless and slightly dazed as you were, the first thing that came to mind was that you did in fact cum. Following that came anxiously wondering what Jeongin’s reaction was.
At that, an invisible weight of embarrassment starts tugging you down. You wanted the blindfold to remain over your eyes, terrified of meeting whatever expression was laden on Jeongin’s face. There was no point in trying to gauge how he reacted when you orgasmed, but there was one thing for sure and that was he didn’t stop you from doing it. 
A few lingering moments later, Jeongin becomes satisfied with the tail end of the scene. He got through the aspects of sensory play that you both wanted to cover from the conversation you had at the beginning of the week.
He gently removes the silk blindfold from your eyes, fixing some of your hair in the process to get it out of your eyes. Even though your eyes shy away from his face, Jeongin can easily see the deep red burning through your cheeks. 
“I’ll get these off for you,” Jeongin murmurs, already freeing one of your wrists from the restraint before moving on to the other.
Once you’re completely unrestricted, you sit up straight away and start blabbing out an explanation to him. 
“Just so you know, I didn’t have other intentions going into this,” you speak quickly. “I just wasn’t expecting to…to-“
Slightly taken aback, Jeongin had to step in to reassure you that there’s nothing wrong, “Y/N, it’s okay, seriously. It’s not your fault that your body couldn’t help but do what it needed to. But you’ve just come out of a scene and I want to make sure that you’re ok-“
“Yes but, you said the other day that people don’t usually climax from sensory play only,” you interrupt him. 
He softens a bit, a small grin forming on his face, “I said ‘usually’ not ‘never’. I didn’t rule out that possibility.” 
You suddenly click onto his words, “so there is a possibility that they still can.” 
“Yes, but you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about or sorry for. Some people can orgasm through nipple stimulation. It’s not always easy, but you managed to do it, with ice too, and relatively fast. Plus, I thought it was cute,” he responds. 
‘Cute?’ If melting from embarrassment was a thing, you’d be a puddle all over his floor. Your face comes to fall into your hands, almost making him giggle. 
Jeongin then continues, “now, if you’ll let me help you, I’ll show you to the shower to get some of the wax off. Then we can have some of that food I was talking about earlier.” 
-
A/N: again, this was meant for Kinktober but my dumb ass didn’t upload it. I’m turning this into a bit of a slow burn series, but not just yet because I’m working on other things atm as listed down below:
1. Noxious Compulsions
Minsung x reader (you can find the snippet here)
2. Foul Play
Part 2 to Don’t bite the hand that feeds you
3. Venom Eater
Part 2 to Venom Biter
4. Some things are better left known
Part 2 to ‘Some things are better left unknown’
These are the main pieces that I’m working on at the moment bc they will be quite dense, and I try to add as much detail in as I can. However, there are 100% other things that I have still sitting in my Doc’s folder that I’ll release too!
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sparklefics · 1 year
Text
Losing you
Bucky & avenger!reader
WC: 1,185
Summary: a near death experience puts things in perspective.
Warnings: near death experience (not detailed tho), mentions of injury and blood. Language!
I wrote a thing!! It’s been months since I’ve been inspired/ had time to write. Here’s a little angsty fluff.
Gif not mine.
[Masterlist]
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Since you joined the team you’ve gotten along with everyone. Missions are successful at least 90 percent of the time.
For the last nine months you’ve been partnering up with Bucky. He’s damn good at his job and you get along just fine, at least when you’re on the field.
Off the field is an entirely different story.
It’s not so much that you don’t get along, it’s just you don’t hang out outside of work. The only time you ‘hang out’ is during training.
You wouldn’t consider him a friend— at least not like Sam is. Bucky is merely your teammate, your partner.
Normally Bucky is cool, calm and collected until the day you get hurt in the field.
“Star, come in.” Bucky speaks through the comms but is only met with silence so he tries again. “Agent Star, come in!”
Star is the code name Sam gave you when you joined his crusade as Captain America. He liked to joke around about his Stars and Stripes and the Sentinel of Liberty, respectively you, Joaquin and Bucky.
Bucky turns back to the last checkpoint and his body goes rigid as he takes in the scene before him. There you are laying on a puddle of blood—yours, he realizes.
He doesn’t take the time to over analyze what went down, all he cares about right now is getting you to safety.
—————
It’s scary to put so much on someone. To let them be your everything, he hadn’t realized that was what had happened. To him you were just his partner.
Until he almost lost you.
That’s when he realized what’s really at stake here. Not only your life, but his happiness.
—————
Three days, that’s how long it takes for you to wake up.
“Ow. That hurt.” You groan and hear Sam chuckle, when you bat your eyes open you see Bucky storming out of the room.
“That’s not funny, Star.” Sam says. “You scared us. How come you didn’t call for backup?”
“How long was I out?”
“Three days. And yes, he was here the whole time, barely got him to eat and shower.”
“Where’s Stripes?” You deflect and ask about Joaquin.
“Coffee run.” Sam stares towards the doorway and sighs. “Buck was the one that found you.”
“Hmm. I think he might be mad at me— you know for almost dying.”
“He’s entitled to that, you’re his partner after all.”
—————
Bucky never comes back to the med bay. In fact you don’t see him for weeks, until you’ve been given the all clear to go back out on the field.
You approach him silently at the gym while he’s pummeling a punching bag. Three bags already discarded after he ripped them open.
“Hey Liberty!”
“Don’t call me that. You know I fucking hate it.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
“Who said I was?” He turns around and you’re not ready for that tender look he gives you. A mixture of guilt that you almost died on his watch and something else you can’t pinpoint and it almost makes you think that he might actually care.
As scary as it was, almost dying put so much in perspective for you. First thing’s first, before you passed out on the field your very last thought was Bucky’s smile. That was strange…yes, he’s your partner but you were about to die and your last thought was of him not begging for help just one last smile of Bucky’s.
Secondly, it felt so off and hurtful seeing him walk out as soon as you woke up. You didn’t know why it hurt but the fact that it did meant that you wanted him there when you woke up. Or at least you expected him to be there, he is your partner after all.
You almost lost everything.
You almost lost him.
It’s infuriating how he managed to become something more than just your partner without you even realizing it. Though all your anger dissipates with the look he gives you. None of it matters when he’s looking at you and touching you so delicately.
Bucky traces a finger ever so delicately over the still fading bruise on your cheek bone.
You hadn’t realized he’d been standing so close to you. Or why the disheveled look he’s got going on looks so good on him. Has he ever looked better? Yes, but today he looks kinda hot and vulnerable, in a way that you just wanna comfort him, run your hands through his hair, cuddle the shit out of him.
Out of nowhere you grab his face and kiss him— on the lips!
“You can’t blame me for that. I almost died.”
You murmured against his lips. And to your surprise he doesn’t pull back, instead he deepens the kiss.
“Shut up, I'm still mad at you.” He mumbles against your lips.
“Ha!” You pull back just enough to slap a hand on his chest. “I knew it! You are mad at me!”
Bucky pulls you right back to his arms and rests his forehead on yours. “I’m just…I can’t lose anyone else. Do you understand?”
You nod.
“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself. You got hurt out there, I should’ve—”
You pull back to look him in the eyes, “James Buchanan Barnes it is not your fault I got hurt. I should’ve called for backup, it’s not your responsibility to keep me safe.”
“Yes it is. You’re my partner.”
“You say that like it means something else. What are you really trying to say, Sarge?”
As if the kiss you two shared hadn’t made it clear this certainly would.
“Star, you are everything to me.”
And your anger makes an appearance again, you pull away from him. “I’m finding that a little hard to believe, cause since I woke up all you’ve done is avoid me.”
“I’m just— seeing you there in a puddle of blood it fucked me up.”
“Waking up and seeing my partner walking out on me fucked me up. You were the last thing on my mind before I passed out. I was trying to call for— I was going to call for you when I blacked out. Then I wake up and see you walk out the door and never come back.”
This isn’t how Bucky pictured this moment. It should’ve gone like in the movies. You both admit your feelings, kiss and voila: happy ending. Not you angry at him, with unshed tears in your eyes.
“I’m sorry I’m an idiot that can’t handle his own feelings. But I love you. I need you to know that. I love you.” He squeezes your hands.
“That’s the thing Bubba, I love you too. So don’t you dare walk out on me ever again.”
You pull him in for a hug and you climb on him like a koala, arms around his shoulders and legs around his torso. He tells you he loves you again and assures you that he’s not going anywhere without you. “Well then, take me to my room. You owe me three weeks worth of cuddles.”
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courtingchaos · 7 months
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Nectarine
Eddie Munson x Fem Reader
Warnings: Talk of body parts in a sexy way. Comparison of the female body to fruit, implied white/light-skinned reader due to analogy/prose. I had this very particular phrase stuck in my head and it comes across as that. Uh, I just really like how it reads so that’s why I’m putting a warning here because I didn’t want to take it out.
A/N: I’ve hung on to this for like two months now because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it but I was rereading it tonight and I forgot how much I like writing from Eddie’s perspective. So also have this thing too.
18+ NSFW No Minors
He’s never been jealous of fruit before.
Never had the urge to rip a nectarine out of someone’s hand and huck it right into the pool for making him feel like this. He hasn’t taken his eyes off the spectacle since you bit into it, that first bite crunching through the mottled white and red flesh. You’d come out from the kitchen of Steve’s house with it already wedged between your teeth while you balanced pizzas in your hands and he’d shot right up to help. You’d laughed around the mouthful and when he’d taken the boxes you pulled the fruit away from your lips, the sound of you sucking up the spit that had dribbled against them making him almost burst.
There’s something suggestive in the way the colors meld on the skin. The deep red giving under your teeth to reveal the pale flesh, juices rushing your fingers and down your chin. He watches you laugh and jump when some of it drips down onto your chest and he watches you try to wipe it away while keeping your top in place.
He’d been stock still, leaned over the pizzas and it’s Dustin elbowing him that makes him realize he was for real staring, mouth agape and fingers clenched around greasy cardboard. You’ve been too busy laughing it up with Robin to notice him going absolutely insane.
“Dude get the fuck out of the way.” Dustin says under his breath and Eddie just slaps the back of his head.
“Language, asshole.” The ensuing shove and slap fight makes Eddie forget for a brief moment the erotic fruit imagery happening on one of Steve’s parents matching loungers. He lets Dustin win when he goes for Eddie’s hair and gets to run off with his pizza instead.
Eddie can hear the light edge of your laughter and another crunch when you bite through another not-so-ripe part of the nectarine and it sends him right into the pool. He knows he can hover by the edge and keep his interest hidden but also still remain conversational so he does a soft somersault into the deep end. Swims for the side you’re seated on and breaches the water as you decide to lean forward to dig through your big pool bag. Cleavage stares him down and he furiously rubs at his eyes and bitches about the chlorine content to cover the tears he’s sure are streaming down his face. There’s a rivulet of shine along the top of one breast, dipping right down the middle and he imagines running his tongue along it. Chasing that line of sweetness to the inside of your swim top to make you giggle like Robin does with her dumb jokes.
Another bite, more red disappearing to reveal pale pale pale. He wants to peel back that stupid coverup you have wrapped around your waist to reveal your pale thighs. He could rip it back with his teeth too, pull it clean off your body so he could revel in the softness of them. They’d give under his teeth and he’d be so careful leaving only the most perfect love bites.
“Eddie?”
His attention snaps to Robin where she stares at him with concern on her brow. “What?”
“I asked if you ate?”
“I will!” He whines at her and she catches his quick glance at you. Her mouth falls open slightly and he gives her a death glare, a warning to back off he’ll do it himself.
“Dustin’s gonna eat that whole pizza if you aren’t careful.” Robin sings at him and she gets up, tossing a wink his way.
“Not hungry?” You ask him through another bite and he catches a hint of deep pink under the pale. His thoughts race towards the unreachable, the warm pink hidden between your thighs and he wonders if the color is the same.
“Uh” his toes barely graze the bottom of the pool, his arms keeping him clutched to the side and floating “not for Pizza, no.”
Your giggle makes your nose scrunch under your big sunglasses and you hold your hand out, offending fruit held out at eye level for him. “Want a bite?”
The ever suffering sigh he suppresses rivals the eye roll he stops in its tracks. Of course he wants a bite. He wants to fit his teeth in the grooves you left there, taste your spit with the nectar and-
There’s no recovering from the show he’d give everyone if he got out of the water now so he just pulls himself even closer to the tiles. Squeezes his eyes shut tightly, tilts his head and shakes it quick. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Can I get you anything? Steve’s got a bunch of stuff in the house.” You scoot forward and that wrap inches up your legs and splits open to reveal one long calf.
“Could you get me another beer?” He says it a little too quick.
“Totally!”
He watches your hips sway the thin fabric around when you walk up towards the house and maybe he doesn’t hate it so much when it clings to your clammy skin. The swell of your hip holds the door open for Nancy and Eddie wishes it was his head pressed into your side.
He begins to wonder if it’s possible to be too horny.
There’s a jet of water at the back of his head suddenly and he turns to see Lucas holding a water gun.
“Quit sulking.” He jokes and Robin elbows him like she’s gotten him in on a secret.
You’ve obviously gotten distracted inside and he’s fine with that. Gave him time to calm down and roll his tongue back into his mouth after he obliterated Lucas and Robin in the water gun battle. He floats on his back under the midday sun, arms hooked over a float, positive he’s burning but too comfortable to care. The laughter at the other end of the pool is his white noise to drift off to until he feels a shift in the water and he’s being spun ever so slowly to face the steps in the shallow end.
“Sorry, I was talking to Max.” You come into view slowly, a smirk directed down at him while he blinks under his sunglasses.
“Thought you got lost in the mansion.”
You scoff and hold his beer up so he can see it. He lets out a small ‘oh!’ and holds out a hand for it. “Thank you.” He’s still spinning with lazy momentum so he only catches the tail end of your gaze before he takes a sip and almost gives himself a nosebleed. The rim of the bottle is sweet like a stone fruit and when he thrashes around to stand up in the water you’ve already made your way back to dry land.
The sky is painted in purples and blues and when the lightning bugs come out everyone wants the fire pit lit. Steve obliges, ever the host, and the ‘adults’ are left to yell at the ‘kids’ about not wasting all the marshmallows by throwing them at each other.
This close to fall the nights get cooler and you still haven’t put on anymore clothes. Eddie has been watching from his side of the pool, his safety barrier that Robin commented on.
“You’ll never get her from all the way over here, amigo.”
“I’m trying to not embarrass myself, hombre.”
From his post by the deep end he can see you shiver and try to wrap your thin coverup over your shoulders to no avail. Nancy offers her sweater and you roll your eyes and laugh, an obvious gesture between the two of you where you point out her tiny frame. Steve is in the middle of suggesting a blanket when Eddie jumps up from his lounge and yells about a flannel in his van.
“You don’t have to go all the way out front for me!” You holler after him and he waves you off. When he comes back he’s in his own hoodie, his old button up slung over his arm.
“See? No big deal.” He hands it over to you. “I needed my ho-oodie anyways.” He stutters hard when you stand to push your arms through and he can see your nipples pushing against your frankly too small swim top. The swell of your breast disappear from sight, along with the most important thing he’s seen all day when you tuck the flannel around you.
“Thank you so much, can’t believe I forgot real clothes.” You laugh and Eddie laughs and from behind him he can hear Robin laugh and his sandal covered foot reaches back and connects with her shin. You take the stack of graham crackers that Mike offers you before you pause and bury your nose into the crook of the elbow of his shirt. “Did you wear this recently?”
“M-me? Uh, I don’t-I mean-”
“It smells really good.”
Eddie laughs again and Robin yanks the back of his hoodie until he sits hard next to her in one of the plastic chairs.
“You sound like a moron.” She mimics his laugh while spearing a marshmallow.
“I don’t sound like that at all.” Eddie mirrors her movements. “I told you I didn’t want to embarrass myself.”
“Well you’re doing a stellar job.” She gives him a sarcastic thumbs up and Eddie decides to just sit and listen. He roasts his marshmallow to a crisp, the s’mores he makes turning into a runny mess that he shoves in his mouth too fast. He can see Robin and Steve share a look and before he can reach over to give Robin a shove, your gentle hand is in his face.
“You got a little….” Your index finger runs along the side of his cheek, puffed out with half chewed s’mores, to wipe off the smear of chocolate there. “There you go.” A smile while you hold your finger in front of him and surely you don’t expect him to lick your finger.
His eyes glance nervously between your face and your proffered finger and never once do you waver. Is that a hint of a dare he catches in your look? Could he inch his tongue out to lap at the pad of your finger? One long lick and he could suck the whole thing into his mouth and really cause a scene out here in the encroaching dark.
A yelp makes both of you jump, a tussle breaking out between the boys and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief knowing every eye was not on him taking the longest pause of his life. You wipe your finger off on a towel and he mourns the loss of an opportunity to taste you again. That brief flavor that lingered on his beer still branded into his mind, the idea of you stealing a sip on the way out to him to deliver it making him grin. Payment in the form of a kiss to glass, at least that’s how he was looking at it.
From his side he can feel two pairs of eyes burning into his skull but he refuses to look at the Wonder Twins and their big dopey eyes they’re probably giving him. Instead he grabs another handful of marshmallows and sets to roasting them, loftily avoiding any questions that might get directed his way.
The night ends late and it ends with the only other available ride being asleep on his couch, face smooshed into Robins shoulder.
“You can see if you can squeeze in with Nancy? But she’s got all the kids.” She whispers at you while Eddie lingers by the door. He’s already said his goodbyes but stopped when he heard you ask about a lift home.
“Uh, well…”
“You can see if you can still catch Eddie.” Robin’s voice sparkles with the ‘sudden’ idea. “I didn’t hear his van yet so he’s probably still out front.” There’s a light snore from Steve that you both giggle at and Eddie tries to open the door as quietly possible.
“Do you think he’d mind?”
“Who Eddie? No, he’d love to. Always trying to help out.”
Eddie rolls his eyes when he gets out in the front step. Could she lay it on thicker? He’s grateful for her slight meddling though when he hears the door open again and your quiet “oh!”
“You haven’t left yet!” You jog to his van where he’s just unlocked the door to lean in on his seat so he can act like he didn’t just hear your predicament.
“No, what’s up?”
“Would you mind dropping me off? I’m a little out of the way but I can pay you for gas.” You start to dig around in your big tote bag and he reaches over to still your hand.
“Don’t worry about it, I got you.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” He hops in so he can reach over and unlock your door, and you run around the front of his van.
“I really appreciate it Eddie.” Your movement inside brushes up the smell of woodsmoke off of his borrowed flannel and your sunscreen and he hopes the scent stays in his van long after you leave.
“It’s really not a big deal.” He tries to be smooth with his exit, one hand on the back of your seat while he reverses into the road. “More than happy to help.” He flashes you a smile and his grip almost slips on his steering wheel when he catches the heavy stare aimed at him. He swallows thickly and averts his eyes to the road, the silence settling between you two not uncomfortable but certainly weighted.
“Eddie?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you gonna keep ignoring me now that I’m in your car?”
He’s happy there’s a red light he was already stopping for because he almost jams his foot through the firewall. “What?!”
Your laugh glitters in the dark cab and he can’t tear his eyes off you.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day.”
“No I haven’t. I helped you with the pizzas and I was talking to you in the pool.” He shakes his head at you. “You got me a beer!”
“Yeah and when I first showed you made a beeline for the kitchen.”
“I was…busy.”
“I’m sure.” Your smile is conspiratorial and he wishes he knew what you were thinking. “Do you know I went shopping for this bathing suit with Robin?” You tap his knee and point at the now green light before the cars behind him start honking.
“No.”
“Yeah, I went with her because we’d been talking you see.”
“As you girls are wont to do.”
“Hush, I’m not done. Anyways, we went shopping and she told me the funniest little thing. Really a coincidence.” The playful tone of your voice makes him vibrate with anticipation. “I’d already told her about my stupid little crush and she’s not very good a keeping secrets, not like that anyways.” He can see you leaning over to rifle through your bag, a scrap piece of paper and a pen held in your lap a moment later. “Really I thought she’d spill to you first but it seems I caught her on a good day.” You reach over and tuck the now folded piece of paper into his hoodie pocket and stay leaned in, face inches from his own. “But I picked it out for you. Did you like it?”
Did he like it.
Does he breathe? Does he blink? You’ve just uttered the words he’s been longing to hear for weeks now. For you. He wasn’t crazy and all of Robin and Steve’s elbowing was just bullying on their part. He tries to keep his breathing under control and spots your street sign in time to use as a distraction. “Uh, yeah it looks great.” He turns into your neighborhood and dials his music down and still can’t look over at your indulgent grin.
“Is that why you were hiding in the pool?”
“…maybe.”
“Oh that’s cute.” You’ve got a curl of his wrapped around your index finger, slowly spiraling it up till you brush his ear and he’s going to crumble to dust. Somehow he makes the turn onto your street while you’re breath tinted with beer and something sweet sweeps over his cheek. “Eddie?” Sugar could drip off of your words and he’d stick his tongue out for every last drop.
“Yeah?”
“I think you should look in your pocket.”
He jams his hand into his hoodie and pulls out the note now crumpled in his sweaty fist just as he pulls up to the front of your house. You don’t move while he unfolds it, his hair slowly unraveling from your finger. It’s your number and a little heart at the end, an ‘X O’ just under that.
“You wanna ask me out?”
It’s gum he realizes, that sweetness that floods his senses. So fruit and beer and gum and spit is what’ll kill him.
“Yeah I-I really do.” Later he’ll kick himself for how pathetic he sounds here but for now the deep smile you give him is all that matters. You let his hair go and grab your stuff to hop out of his van and he watches you walk around the front like it’s his own personal show.
“How’s Friday night sound? I get off work at 7.” When you lean on his rolled down window he gets a clear shot of cleavage between his flannel (that’s now yours, he’s never taking that back). His mouth waters and his eyes shoot back up to your face that tells him he’s been caught.
“I can do that.” He could also climb out of his window and maul you too if you wanted that.
“Cool.”
“I can pick you up at 8?”
You nod as you walk backwards towards the front steps of your house. “I’ll be ready.” The light flicks from the inside, someone keen to get you in. “You figure out dinner, I’ll just bring the legs again, deal?” You lift one behind you when you cross over the threshold, one last smile shot at him and it’s a bullseye right through his frontal lobe.
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reaveries · 1 year
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▬  𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲
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gif credit to @robpattinsongifs (much higher resolution on their account)
summary: late-night visits from your definitely human boyfriend
pairings: edward cullen x fem!reader
word count: 1.6k (approximately 7 minutes reading time)
a/n:  I’ve had this baby marinating in my drafts since January, when I was going through my bi-annual Twilight Renaissance. I was actually in the middle of writing a RE2R Leon Kennedy fic today and decided to put on a twilight playlist, and then I just knew I had to finish this one. It’s my first *published* non-RDR fic heehee (I have so much in my drafts, it’s insane). Anyways, enjoy (pardners)!
masterlist archive of our own
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It’s that dreadful time of year again. 
The sun is making its curtain call as students from the nearby elementary school trip over themselves running home. Little girls and boys have sticky remnants of lunch peeking from the corners of their mouths and the grass is still slick from morning showers. But dusk is impatient in February, and its eagerness is encouraged in a town hidden beneath perpetual overcast nine months out of the year.
The school children ran past her window minutes ago when the sky had been painted brilliant indigo. Now, when she looks up the only thing left to see is her own dark reflection and the warm orange glow from a candle on the sill. Its tall flame stutters, collapsing and rising with the damp breeze. 
A page turns, disrupting the otherwise quiet room. The only other noise that can be heard is a soft pitter of water dripping onto the floorboards from a coat hanging off the closet door. 
She reaches for a mug sitting on the corner of her nightstand and promptly sets it back down upon finding it empty. It returns to its spot atop crumpled receipts and library hold slips belonging to the growing stack of books accumulating dust at her bedside. These books tower over the permanent nightstand residents: lazily discarded beaded necklaces, a sample bottle of floral perfume from Christmas, two little ceramic bunnies purchased from an antique mall in Port Angeles last summer, car keys, and drugstore chapstick. It might be worth convincing her to let go of some of these post-object permanence discoveries, but that is a matter for another time.
In a desperate attempt to comprehend the words she’s reading, she rolls onto her back and extends her arms straight in the air so the book hovers a foot from her face—a change of perspective to freshen the mind.
It does not help. 
No matter how much she shifts or squints, the antiquated prose remains stubbornly uninviting. She can’t fathom why anyone would willingly subject themselves to something so archaic and convoluted and furthermore, recommend it as one of their favorite novels.
With a huff, she adjusts the headphones at her ears, hoping the music will clear her mind. But despite her best efforts, the book slowly drifts closer to her chest and her eyelids grow heavier as the music lulls her into a dreamless sleep. 
When she wakes to cold fingers grazing her jaw it’s impossible to tell whether she’d fallen asleep or if she just blinked. The weight of the headphones gently disappears as they’re pulled off and set down on the nightstand. She grumbles incoherently and stretches out her legs, not unlike a cat after a long, difficult day of lounging around. Her eyes begrudgingly flutter open and immediately find him only inches away. He’s watching her, peering down with a twinkle in his amber-colored eyes.
“Edward…” she whispers.
“Dracula,” he says, eyebrows raised as he makes the observation. “I thought you didn’t like Gothics.”
She reaches a finger into the book on her chest and folds the page over before tossing it carelessly into the sea of knitted and quilted blankets at the foot of the bed. With the haze of sleep still clouding her eyes, she smiles sheepishly up at him.
“I’m trying.”
He chuckles lightly and brings his hand to her hair again, brushing stray strands off her forehead and tucking them behind her ears before leaning down to place a chaste kiss above her eyes. Though his lips are soft, the icy touch of his skin sends a shiver down her spine. He’s always cold; a result of his anemia, he says. However, the downpour that's dampened his hair and clothes to his skin has chilled him even more so.
In an effort to sit up, she raises herself onto her elbows and catches a glimpse of the bright red digital numbers on her bedside clock.
“You’re late, you know,” she chides, watching him settle uncomfortably at the head of the bed. He sinks down among the pillows, their plushness contrasting humorously with the stiffness of his demeanor. He reaches behind his back and tugs free a stuffed rabbit lodged between him and the headboard, then sets it down softly beside himself.
“I had to make a quick stop. I hope you can forgive me,” he says in a hushed voice, so as not to make too much noise in the resting house. His eyes flit towards the nightstand and she follows them to see a new item sitting amongst the disorder. A tall styrofoam cup with steam rising thinly from the lid. Coffee. 
The mug she just finished sits right beside it. She’d considered brewing more but that was before being rendered unconscious by Bram Stoker nearly an hour ago. Her heart swells at his thoughtfulness, but a more pressing question comes to mind before she can voice her gratitude.
“How did you even climb up here with that?” She asks, reaching for the cup with both hands.
“I’m very…agile.” There’s a look in his eyes that tells her there’s more to it, but she chooses to ignore it for now with a shake of her head.
The taste is immediately harsh, significantly more bitter than how she makes it herself. Any trace of a smile dissipates and is replaced with a pronounced look of disgust.
“Good God, Edward,” she exclaims. “Decaf? What did I ever do to you?”
He laughs and takes it from her hands, leaving her still reeling from the unexpected taste. “As much as I love staying up with you, you need sleep,” he says, a hint of sternness in his voice. “You didn’t get any last night and you don’t hide it well.”
He says the last part sweetly, tilting his head to the side and following her motions with his eyes, watching her pick up the stuffed rabbit by its cotton paw.
“Don’t hide it well?” She repeats, the indignation in her voice contrasting with the softness of the toy as she raises it high into the air and brings it down against his chest with a soft thud. “Well maybe I wouldn’t have to hide anything if you—weren’t—keeping—me—up—all—night!”
With every word, the rabbit hits his forearms poorly attempting to shield himself from the blows. Edward grins as she attacks him, the soft toy barely making a sound against his arms. He watches as her hair falls across her face in the midst of the unrelenting attack, the warm glow of the candle casting a soft halo around her.
But then, his amusement fades as he sees the exhaustion in her eyes. 
He gently takes the rabbit from her and sets it aside before grabbing her arm mid-swing and pulling her into his chest. She sighs heavily and surrenders, relaxing against him. "I’m sorry," he whispers, his lips brushing against her hair. “I’ll let you rest tonight.”
Despite his tender words, a residual half-baked frustration lingers inside her. “How did you manage to stay awake in class?” she mumbles into his sweater, the words muffled. “I mean, you didn’t get any sleep either.”
He chuckles, as if privy to some inside joke.
“Well, someone had to take your notes for you,” he says, his fingers trailing through her hair in a soothing motion. “And besides, you looked so peaceful drooling away.” 
She looks up at him, a hint of a drowsy smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I did not drool,” she insists.
He grins down at her, his eyes alight with fondness. “Of course not.”
She groans and buries her head into his chest, to which he responds by encircling his arms around her waist and pulling her closer.
“I’m never falling asleep in front of you again,” she grumbles.
His chest rumbles beneath her cheek as he laughs. “Alright, angel.”
He shifts his hand from the crown of her head to the curve of her back, tracing languid circles over the fabric of her t-shirt as the room fills with a comfortable silence. The rain outside grows heavier, tapping against the glass with a more insistent force. Her body is warm against his and he can feel the steady thumping of her heartbeat as if it's his own. A few minutes slip by, and he senses her breathing even out and deepen. Without disturbing her, he reaches for a nearby blanket and drapes it over her, then turns his gaze to the candle on the windowsill.
“Sweet dreams,” he whispers, as the dwindling flame fades out of focus. 
This is his favorite part of the day.
Vague arrays of soft, muted hues and shapes swirl around in his vision, overtaking the warm surroundings of her bedroom. They morph into recognizable figures after some time, and he can hear them speaking when he focuses. For the most part, they sound as if he’s underwater and they’re conversing on the shore. But every now and then, a clear phrase emerges.
Suddenly, the floating shapes assimilate into a figure resembling him and he realizes what this dream is. It’s a recurring one he’s particularly fond of. He settles in and pulls her closer as the scene ebbs between reality and distortions of the unconscious mind. 
He can’t remember how he used to pass the night hours before he met her. Books, records, films--looking back, they feel hollow compared to nights spent like this. Part of him hopes he’ll never know what it's like to want for this. But these dreams, and her thoughts in the waking hours, assure him he won’t ever have to find out.
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ruthytwoshakes · 7 months
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after 30 hours we’re done!!!
I love little pootis so much, a fantastic series. If you haven’t seen it yet I really recommend it!! I bought one of the plushies for my little siblings for Christmas hehe.
I’ve been wanted to make some fanart for it for a while, but I wanted it to be special! Since it means too much to me and my family :3 so I tried my hand at digital painting again! Here’s my process:
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First I started out with the sketch and putting in the values, (that image is the scene I was referencing.) and since I have absolutely no idea how perspective works I just guessed and went “eh good enough.” I also used my radical composition skills to give the whole thing some life! (Golden ratio my beloved.) I should have gotten some reference images, first mistake, but I was way too excited lol.
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Then I duplicated the layer and started painting over my sketch using some painting and blending brushes. Unfortunately I forgot to capture any in-betweens of this process so it makes it a little hard to explain. But once I got my values down and my painting rendered to point I wanted it to be, we started coloring!
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And oh god! This is why the painting took 30 hours! This was my first time painting using this method, so I was so not ready for the coloring part. I’m in a love-hate relationship with gradient maps so the coloring was mostly done with blending modes, I think I used the linear light mode?
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After watching a stupid amount of videos by Marc Brunet I finally got it! Used just one overlay layer and adjusted my colors and values as needed for this one. Used a couple gradients and other techniques to get the snow and the water looking how I wanted, and we’re almost done!
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My favorite step! Adding a bunch of textures and sparkly stuff! It’s not for everyone but I really like it. And congratulations we finished our first painting yippee! Thanks for reading :3
little pootis by @quazies
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